SexyStranger

Copyright©2017KendallRyan

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TableofContents

AbouttheBook
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
ChapterTwenty-One
ChapterTwenty-Two
ChapterTwenty-Three
ChapterTwenty-Four
ChapterTwenty-Five
ChapterTwenty-Six
ChapterTwenty-Seven

ChapterTwenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Nine
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
AbouttheAuthor
OtherBooksbyKendallRyan

AbouttheBook

LukeWilderknowsthelovelystrangerdoesn’tbelongthesecondshestruts

intohissleepylittletown.She’sacitygirlwhowon’tstaylongerthanittakesto

getherfancyforeigncarrepaired—whichiswhyheshouldignorehispowerful

needtomakehernoticehim.It’sjustthatthemomentsheopenshersmartmouth

andgivesitbackasgoodasshegets,hewantstoswapawholelotmorewithher

thaninsults.

CharlotteFreemontinstantlydislikestheruderedneckstrangershefinds

herselfstuckwith.Toobadhe’sashotassin,andjustastempting.Ontherunfrom

hermessypast,she’snottheretogettangledupwithaman,evenoneashardto

resistasthehotheadedLuke.Butwhenhegivesheraprivatetourofhiscraft

whiskeydistillery,theirattractionignites,andLukeseizesthechancetoshowher

there’sawholelotmoretohimthantherough,ruggedsideshesees.

Whenhefinallylearnshersecret,willitshatterhistrustinher?Ordothey

haveachancetocreateawholenewblend?

ChapterOne

Luke

Therewasnothingquitelikewatchinganout-of-townergettheirfirsttasteof

ShadyGrove.Itdidn’thappentoooften.Inmyexperience,youwereeitherfrom

hereoryou’dneverheardoftheplace.

ThesecondIsawherwalkthroughthedoorofWhattheCluck,thelocal

family-stylerestaurant,Iknewshedidn’tbelong,andsodideveryoneelsewhose

headturnedinherdirection.Theoneswhodidn’tnoticerightawaysurelydid

whentheyheardherheelsclickingacrossthewornwoodenfloors.Eventhehum

ofthegossipmillcouldn’tdrownoutthesoundofstilettosonpine.

Myfirstimpressionofherwasleancurves,darkshinyhair,andaroundpeach

ofanassthatwasbeggingtobegrabbed,spanked,andbitten.Thenmysister

leanedoverandwhisperedinmyear,causingmydirtymindtoscreechtoan

unwelcomehalt.

“Iheardhercarbrokedown.”

IacknowledgedMolly’scommentwithanod.Insteadoffocusingonthe

whispersofthepeoplearoundme,Ifoundmyselfmoreintriguedwiththe

expressiononthenewcomer’sface.Itwasquiteaface,afterall.Herbigblue

eyeswerewidewithbewilderment,herprettypinklipspursedasshetriedtoflag

downoneofthewaitressesbusilyrushingbyher.Hercutelittlenosewrinkledin

confusionwhenapassingwaitressfinallycalledout,“Seatyourself,honey!”

IquicklydroppedmyattentionwhenIrealizedtheoneopenseatintheplace

wasdirectlyacrossfromme.

Somuchforquietobservation.

Icouldcertainlyappreciateabeautifulwoman,butthelastthingIwas

interestedinwasgettingmixedupwithapasserby’sdrama—despitehowsexy

herlegslookedasshewalkedtowardthetable.Thischickwouldbegoneand

forgottenbeforesundown,justlikeeveryoneelsewhodidn’tbelonghere.

Mytwinbrotherwasseatedacrossfrommysister,andabouttobeshoulderto

shoulderwiththenewbie.DukesmirkedwhenIlookedup.Theunspoken

conversationwehadduringthetimeittookhertositnexttohimwastotally

inappropriateforSundaylunch.Itbasicallyconsistedofmybrothersilently

saying,I’mgonnatryandhitthat,andmereplying,Don’talwaysthinkwithyour

dick.

Theconnectionbetweenuswastwenty-nineyearsstrong.Ididn’tneedhimto

tellmewhathewasthinking.We’dbeendoingthesamesonganddancesince

we’drealizedthatourdickscouldbeusedformorethanjustpissing.Itwasn’t

thatIdidn’tthinkaboutsex,justthatDukethoughtaboutitawholelotmore.And

ithadlandedhiminafewpricklysituationsovertheyears.LastthingIwanted

wastocleanupanothermessofhis.

Dukewasn’ttheonlycuriousone.Ilookedoveratmysisterandsawshewas

champingatthebittofindoutaboutthestranger.TherewasnostoppingMolly

whenshewantedtogettothebottomofsomething.She’dbeenthemost

inquisitivechildI’devermet,andattwenty-four,shehadn’tstoppedwithher

questforthetruth.Ifshewereacat,shewouldhaveburnedthroughallnineofher

livesbynow.

“Hi,”shesaidnosoonerthanthebrunettewasseatedatourtableand

unfoldinghernapkin.“I’mMollyWilder.”Shereachedacrossthetable,

practicallyshovingherhandinthepoorgirl’sface.

Iwatchedastheawkwardnessunfoldedandtriedhardnottolaughatitall.

“Oh,”thestrangersaid,staringatmysister’shandforamoment.“We’redoing

this.”SheplacedherhandinMolly’sandmusteredupasmile.“I’mCharlotte.”

“Welcome.Thesearemybrothers,DukeandLuke.”Mollydidn’twaittodive

rightintotheinterrogation.“Whatbringsyoutoourfinelittletown?”

ShereleasedCharlotte’shandwhenIelbowedherslightlyintheribs,a

warningtotoneitdown.Whensheside-eyedme,Isimplysatbackinmychair

andshookmyhead,thentuggedmyweatheredA&Mballcapdownabittoshield

mefromit.TherewasnostoppingMolly’sinquisitionatthispoint,andDuke

wouldprobablyhitonCharlottebeforethebiscuitswerebroughttothetable.I

knewIshouldhaveskippedtoday.

Likeitwasevenanoption.

Sundaylunchwithmyfamilywassetinstone.Eversinceourmotherleftwhen

Iwasseven,theWilderfamilyhadspentSundaymorningsattheLutheranchurch

anddinedonfriedchickendirectlyafterward.Infact,everythinginthisplacewas

setinstone.Everydayhadapurpose,andeverypurposehadanendgoal.There

wasroutineandorder,justthewayIlikedit.

WhatIdidn’tlikewasadisruption.Muchliketheonesittingacrossthe

farmhousetablefromme.No,theprettybrunettewithT

OURIST

practicallystamped

onherforeheadwasadisruptionwrappedindistractionanddippedintemptation.

She’dalreadyhookedmybrotherwithhergoodlooksandmysisterwithher

mystery.AndthereIwas,caughtinthemiddle.

“There’ssomethingwrongwithmycar,”CharlottetoldMolly.“And

apparently,Ihavetowaituntiltomorrowtohaveitcheckedout.”

“That’stoobad.”Mollygaveherasympatheticlook.“So,you’llbeherefora

fewdays?”

“Oh,Ihopenot,”Charlottesaid,asifspendingtimeinShadyGrove,Texas,

wastheworstthingshe’deverheardof.“Hopefully,it’saquickfix.”

“Duke’sprettygoodwithcars,”Mollysaid,castingastareacrossthetable.

“Maybehecouldtakealook.”

“Yeah,”hesaidwithagrinthatbouncedfromMollytoCharlotte.“Icouldget

upunderthathood.Takealook.”

“IthinkI’llpass,”CharlottesaidwithoutmissingabeatorlettingDuke’s

charmsgetthebetterofher.

Icouldn’thelpthelaughthatmanagedtobreakfrombetweenmypursedlips

whenshegavehimtheoldthanks,butnothanks.Iloveditwhenawomangave

mybrotheranegocheck.Didn’thappentoooften,soIletmyselfenjoythe

moment.

“Yourloss,sweetheart,”Dukesaid,clearlytakenabackbyherdirectness.

“Iwasn’ttryingtosoundlikeabitchoranything.”Charlottegavehimatight

smile.“Ijust...it’sanAudi.It’sprobablyreallycomplicated,andatrained

professionalisprobablybettersuited.Idon’tknowthatyou’dbeabletohelp

me.”

Itwasonethingforhertoshootamandownbecauseshewasn’tinterested

romantically,butitwasquiteanothertoshootdownhismechanicalskills.Duke,

likeeveryotherguyinthistown,knewhowtofixacar.Evenafancycarlike

hers.

“Somuchfornotsoundinglikeabitch,”Isaid.

“Excuseme?”Shequicklylookedatme.

“Youheardme.”Isatupstraightinmychair.“Hecouldfixyourcarjustfine,”

Iassuredher.

“Well,excusemefornotwantingsomecowboytopokearoundunderthehood

ofmyhundred-thousand-dollarcar.”ShelookedbackatDuke.“Nooffense.”

“Nonetaken.”Asmallsmileplayedonhislipsashesatbackandcrossedhis

armsoverhischest.

“You’rejustgoingtotakeit?”Iaskedhim,confusedthatDukewasbowingout

soeasily.

“Yougotthis,”hesaid,givingmeanod.

Ididn’tknowwhatgamehewasplaying,butifhewasn’tgoingtosetthis

womanstraight,Isurewould.“JustbecauseweliveinTexas,we’reall

cowboys?”

“Ijustassumed.Butifthebootfits,”shesaidwithasmirk,heragitationnow

clearlydirectedatme.

Whichwasfine.Icouldtakeit.“Youknowwhattheysayaboutmaking

assumptions.Andyou’refromwhere?Wait.”

Ipausedandtookasecondtoturnmyballcaparound.IwantedtomakesureI

waslookingthissnootywomanintheeyewhenIgavehertherealitycheckshe

clearlyneeded.HergazeflickedfrommetoDukeastherealizationthatwewere

twinssankin,butIwasn’tinthemoodtodiscussjusthowmuchwelookedalike.

“Letmeguess,”Isaid.“LA?”

“NewYork.”

“Ah.”Inodded.“Makescompletesense.I’msurprisedyoucanevensitthere,

whatwiththestickupyourassandall.Youknow,becauseeveryonefromNew

Yorkhasoneuptheirs.”

Theoohsandaahsthatcamefromthenearbypatronslisteninginonour

conversationweredeafening.

“Wow,”Charlotterepliedwithalookofcompletecalm.

I’llbethefirsttoadmit,Iwaskindofimpressedthatshewasn’tmorerattled.

Hell,maybeevenalittleturnedon.Wasn’teverydayyoumetawomanwhocould

giveasgoodasshecouldget.Ithoughtforsureshe’dgetupandstormoutlikethe

spoiledbratI’dpeggedherfor.

“Ishouldn’thaveassumedthatyouwereallcowboys.”Shegavemeasmug

smileassheshookherhead.“You’reclearlyjustanasshole.”

I’dneverseenawomansomanicuredandpolishedandcleanedup,itmade

mewanttogetheralldirty.Andthatsassystreakthatranamilewide?Fuck,that

justmademewanttoputheronherkneesandshowherwhowasboss.

ChapterTwo

Charlotte

NeverinmylifehadImetanyonemorearrogantthanthemansittingacrossfrom

me.Andthatwasreallysayingsomething,consideringthehigh-societyassholes

I’dbeensurroundedwithmyentirelife.

Didn’tmatteronebittomethathisshoulderswerebroadandhelookedlike

heworkedwithhishands.Ididn’tlettheimageofhimtossinghaybalesor

shovelingdirtpopintomyhead,orwhateveritwasthat“notcowboys”did.The

perfectlysculptedarmsrevealedbytheshortsleevesofhisT-shirtdidn’tdistract

me.Notonedamnbit.

“Takesonetoknowone,sweetheart,”hesaid,narrowinghiseyesonmine.

Nowthathishatwasoutoftheway,Icouldseethealmostevergreencolorof

hiseyesplainandclear.OrifIreallywantedanup-closelook,Icouldglance

overathistwinbrothersittingnexttome.Theymighthavebeenthemostidentical

twinsI’deverseen—fromtheirgreeneyestotheslopeoftheirnoses,rightdown

tothedimplestheybothhadoneachcheek.Thetwowerepracticallycarbon

copies.IfIweren’tsoannoyedbytheonesittingacrossfromme,Imighthave

cozieduptotheideaofspendingalittletimewiththemwhileIwasstuckinthis

town,becausethesexinessfactorwasdefinitelydoubledtoo.

“Ijustcameheretoeat,”Ifinallysaid,wantingtoendthepointlessargument.

Hetuggedhishatbackaround.“Metoo.”

Ourconversationendedthere.Theglaring,however,continuedforthenext

severalminutes.

Itookadeepbreathandtriednottolethisarrogancegetthebestofme.The

onlyproblemwasthathewasthesexiestmanI’deverseeninreallife.They

didn’tmakemenlikehiminNewYork,allruggedandrougharoundtheedges.

“Allright,folks,”thewaitresssaid,finallystoppingatourtable.“CanIgetya

somedrinks,orjustsweetteaallaround?”

“I’lltakeawaterwithlemon,”IsaidastheWildersallnoddedforicedtea.

Thewaitressnodded.“Yes,ma’am.”

“AndcanIgetamenu?”

Assoonasthequestionwasoutofmymouth,thewaitressandeveryone

withinearshotsnickered.

Iwasconfused.Thiswasarestaurant,right?

“Lunchisupontheboard.”Thewaitressturnedtopointatachalkboardonthe

wall.“Whatyouseeiswhatyouget.”Shesmiledandlefttocheckonanother

table.

“It’sfamily-style,”Mollyexplained.

“Whatdoesthatmean?”

“Onebigmealbroughtoutallinbigbowls.Allservedatonce.”

“Oh.”Ifinallyrealizedwhatshemeant.“LikeThanksgiving.”

“Exactly!”

NotthatanyofmyThanksgivingdinnershadbeenservedthatway.Myfamily

alwayshadafullycateredmealwithsomefancifulversionofturkeyandstuffing.

IimaginedthisparticularmealwasgoingtobemorelikewhatIsawon

television.Happyfamilies,onebigbowlofmashedpotatoes,andsmilesall

around.Definitelynotlikethedinnersinmymemories.

Family-stylewasn’tinmyvocabulary.Andmorethanthat,Iwasusedtomy

privacy,nothavingtofightforelbowroomandlistentootherpeople’sprivate

conversations.

Iflaggeddownthewaitressasshepassedbywithatrayofbiscuits.“Excuse

me,butdoyouhaveabooth,ormaybejustaprivatetableinback?It’sbeenahell

ofaday,and—”

Shetuckedalooselockofhairbackintoherbraid.“I’mgoingtotakeawild

guessandwageryou’renotfromaroundhere.”

Whatdoesthathavetodowithanything?

Mygazewanderedbacktothehottieacrossfromme.Hewassmirking.

“Doesthismakeyouuncomfortable?”heasked.“Sittingclosetome?”

Ilookedbacktothewaitressforhelp,butshewasalreadygone.

“I’mnotuncomfortable,”Isaid,straighteningmyposture.

Hiseyebrowsjumpedupashestudiedme.“Youlookuncomfortable.”

Realizingthatmyspinewasramrodstraightandmyhandswerefistedinmy

lap,Ihuffedoutasigh.

Afewmomentslater,plattersgenerouslypiledwithhome-cookedfoodwere

delivered,andthoseseatedaroundmewastednotimeinloadinguptheirplates.

“You’renotgoingtoeat?”Dukeasked,leaningovertoinspectmyplate.

AndthiswaswhyIwantedaprivatetable.Ididn’twantsomeonecheckingon

myprogresslikeIwasafinickytoddlerwhoneededsupervising.Ididn’t

generallyeatcarbs,orthingsthatweredeep-friedinlard.

“Iameating,”Itoldhim,forkinguponeofthebeansonmyplate.“These

greenbeansaredelicious.”

“Probablybecausethey’recookedinbacon,”thehottiesaid,hisfirstwords

sincethemealhadstarted.“So,Ihopeyou’reintofat,”headdedwithasmirk.

Notwantingtogivehimabitofsatisfaction,Ibitintothegreenbeanand

smiledasIslowlyusedmylipstopullitfromthefork.Ididn’tmissthewayhis

eyeswidenedasIate.IlearnedalongtimeagoviaCluelessthatdrawing

attentiontoyourmouthwasalwaysasurefirewaytogarneraman’sattention.

Baconfatbedamned.

“Iam,actually,”Isaid.“Makesitslidedowneasier.”

Iwatchedwithdelightasheswallowedhard.Servesyouright,pal.

Iwasn’tsureexactlywhyIwassohappythathewascaughtupinmylittle

performance,butitpleasedmeandstokedthesmallfireIcouldfeelburningdeep

inmystomachwhenIlookedathim.ItwastoobadhewassuchajerkandthatI’d

swornoffmenforthetimebeing.Wecouldhavehadalotoffuntogether.

“Youknowyouwantsomeofmychicken,”Lukesaid,hisvoicelowand

teasing.

Ihatedtheshiverthatracedalongmyspine.“Idonotwantyourchicken.”

“It’sokay.Youcanhavesome,duchess.”

Duchess?Iwasn’tsurewherehe’dgottenthenicknameuntilIrealizedhe

probablyhadmepeggedforaspoiledlittlerichbrat.Toanyonewhodidn’tknow

thetruth,that’sprobablywhatIlookedlike.Butinmyheart,itwasn’twhoIwas.

WhichwasexactlywhyI’dfledandlefteverythingbehind.

OnceI’dpickedmyplatecleanofsaladandgreenbeans,Istoodupwithouta

wordandwenttotheregistertopay,andthenhurriedoutthedoor.Thisentire

mealhadbeenadisaster,andIwasn’tevenclosetofull.

“Charlotte,”avoicecalledoutasIwalkeddownthesidewalktowardtheauto

repairshop.

IturnedtofindMollychasingafterme,leavingherbrotherswaitingbythe

frontdooroftherestaurant.Istoppedandlethercatchup.

“I’mrealsorryaboutLuke,”shesaid.“He’susuallynotsouptight.I’mnot

surewhatgotintohim.”

Inthesunlight,Icouldseeherresemblancetoherbrothers.Thesamesun-

bleachedbrownhairandsweetsmile.Butwherethetwins’eyesweregreen,hers

werebrown,andshehadnodimples.Shewasaprettygirlwithagood

disposition,probablythekindofpersonIcould—oratleast,should—befriends

withifthecircumstancesweredifferent.

“It’sallright,”Itoldher.“Youdon’thavetoapologizeforhim.”Lookingover

hershoulder,Isneakedaquickglanceatthejerk.Oureyeslockedforamoment,

butIquicklylookedbacktoMolly.“He’sagrown-up.Heshouldbeableto

handlehimself.”

“Ijustwantedtowelcomeyoutotown.Hopeyoudon’tthinkwe’reall

assholes,”shesaidwithachuckle,andIsmiledback.

“Idon’t.”

“Good.”Sheplacedahandonmyshoulder.“IhopeIseeyouaround,”she

addedbeforehurryingbackinherbrothers’direction.

Asniceasmakinganewfriendwouldbe,IwashopingmytimeinShady

Grovewasclosetoover.

•••

I’dbeeninthislittletownallofanhour,andalreadyitfeltlikehell.Aftermycar

hadcoastedintoShadyGrovemakinganawfulscreechingnoise,I’dparkeditat

theonlygasstationIsaw,whichwasalsoanautorepairshop.Unfortunately,a

signpostedonthedoorreadC

LOSED

FOR

L

UNCH

.

“I’msorry,what?”Isaidtotheattendantbehindthecounter.I’dbeensohappy

whenIgotbackfrommyownlunchandfoundthatthelittlerepairshophad

reopened.Myreliefwasquicklydashedbythewomanrunningtheregister.

“Wayne’souttoday,”shesaid.

IassumedshewasreferringtotheWayneofW

AYNE

’

S

A

UTO

R

EPAIR

,asthesign

ontheoutsideofthebuildingstated.

“Couldyoucallhim?”IaskedaspolitelyasIcould.

“It’sSunday.”

“Okay...”Iwaitedforabetterexplanation,andwhenitwasn’tforthcoming,

asked,“Whydoesthatmatter?”

Shechuckled.“Waynedoesn’tworkonSunday.”

“I’llpayhimtoworkonSunday.”

TheonethingIhadbeensuretopackwhenIleftNewYorkwastheblack

AmExcardmyparentshadgivenme.Theymightnotbemyfavoritepeopleatthe

moment,butIhadnoproblemspendingtheirmoneyifIhadto.

“Honey,”shesaid,leaningovertorestherforearmsonthecounterthat

separatedus.HergrayingblondhairwassetincurlsfromwhatIassumedwasa

perm,andtherealizationofjusthowoutofplaceIwasstartedtosetin.“Letme

putitthisway.Waynedoesn’tworkonSundaybecausehe’sprobablybeen

drinkingsinceFriday.He’dbeuselesstoday.AndtheLonghornskickoffinabout

fifteenminutes.There’sabetterchanceofthatprettylittlecarofyoursfixingitself

thangettingWaynetocomeintoday.”

“Maggie,”Isaidafterglancingathernametag.“Arethereanyother

mechanicsinthistownthatworkonSunday?”

“I’msorry.”Sheshookherheadandofferedhersympathywithahalfsmile.

“Wayne’stheonlymechanicintown.”

“That’sjustgreat.”

Irubbedmyhandsovermyface,hopingthatmaybethiswasalljustadream.

WhenIopenedmyeyesandthefluorescentlightingandMaggie’sapatheticface

greetedme,IknewmyrealitywasmuchworsethanI’dthought.

“WhatshouldIdo?”Ifinallyasked.

“There’salittlebedandbreakfast—theWillowInn—afewblocksthatway.”

Shepointedoutthewindowofthestation.“Maybegetahotshower,”she

suggested.“Relax.”

Inodded,tryingnottocryoutofutterfrustration.Thelasthourhadbeen

eventful,andnotinagoodway,andnowitlookedlikeIwasspendingthenightin

ShadyGrovewhetherIlikeditornot.

“Waynecomesinearly,soassoonasyougetupinthemorning,youcomeon

down.He’llhelpyouout.”

“Thanks,”Imuttered,unabletomusterupasmile.Notthatshe’dhelpedmuch,

anyway.

IstartedtopushthroughthedoorandsetofffortheB&Bshe’drecommended,

andthenglancedbackinherdirection.

“Howfarofawalkisittotheinn?”Ilookeddownatmycutesuedebooties

withtheirfive-inchheels.“ShouldIcallanUber?”

“Awhat?”

“Youknow,likeadrivingservice?Ormaybeacab?”

Maggie’slaughcameupfromdeepinherchest.WhensherecognizedthatI

wasn’tamused,shepausedandcomposedherself.“Oh,blessyourheart.Wedon’t

haveanythinglikethathere.Besides,it’sonlyahalfmiledowntotheWillow,”

sheassuredme.

IthankedherwithanodandsavedtheeyerollforwhenIwasaloneinthe

parkinglotandgatheringmybelongingsfrommycar.NoStarbucks,noUber,and

notamechanicinsight.

WhatkindofhelldidIstumbleinto?

•••

“TheirnamesareLukeandDuke,”ItoldValentinaoverthephone.AfterI’d

checkedinandgottensettledinmyroom,I’dwandereddownstairsandfounda

comfychairinasecludedspotofthelivingroom.Thesunwasstartingtoseton

thisday,andtomorrowcouldn’tcomefastenough.

“Seriously?”shesaidwithachuckle.ItwasthesamethoughtI’dhadwhenI’d

pieceditalltogetheronmywalkhome.“TwinsnamedLukeandDuke.That’sso

country.”

“Isn’tit?”Ilaughed.

Thefinishlinewasinmysights,andthethoughtofbeinginthistownforany

longerthanIhadtowasnauseating.Besidesthat,Ihadanewlifetostartliving.

WhenI’dpackedupandstartedoffonthisadventure,Itoldmyselfitwasanew

beginning.Butatthemoment,itfeltlikeIwasinapurgatoryofopencornfields

andhot,arrogantassholeswithmusclestothemoonandback.

“Justbreatheforme.You’llbehereinacoupleofdays,tops.”

“Iknow,”Isaid,feigningenthusiasm.

It’snotthatIwasn’texcitedaboutgettingtoValentina’s—shewastheonly

personwho’deverreallyunderstoodexactlywhoIwas.No,itwasthefifteen

hundredmilesthatstoodbetweenhereandtherethathadmedown.

Icheckedmyreflectionintheantiquemirrorhangingonthewall.The

demandsandexpectationsI’denduredhadleftaseriousmarkonme,andhad

apparentlystartedmedownthepathofearlyaging.Twenty-eightwasfartoo

youngtofeelsobeatdown.

NothingalittleWestCoastsunshinewon’tclearup.

Withmyfreshstartsoclose,Ihatedtheideaofanymoredelays.

“It’stoobadoneofthemwassuchajerk,”Iadded.“They’renottoobadto

lookat.”

Ihadn’tbeenabletoshaketheimageofLukestaringatme.Asannoyingashe

was,he’dignitedasparkofattractionthatIhadn’tfeltinaverylongtime.Ithad

tobearesultofmylastrelationship,theonewhereIwasunderappreciatedand

oftenignored.MylibidohadapparentlytakenLuke’saggressionasattentionand

decidedtofirebackup.

“Youwouldfindtheonlyhottwinsinthemiddleofnowhere.”Shechuckled.

“Ican’twaitforyoutogethere.It’sbeentoolong.”

“Isawyouaweekago,”Isaid.“Youknow,rightbeforeIwalkedouton...”I

searchedfortherightword,butthereweresomanythatwouldfinishthesentence.

Everything.Myparents.Anentireguestlistfullofpeople.Myguaranteed

futureofprivilege.

“Don’tevensayit,”Valentinasaid.“You’removingon,remember?Moving

forward.”

“Well,I’mnotmovingforwardatthemoment,”Iremindedher.“Currently,I’m

stuck.”

“Yeah,butyou’restuckinatownwithhottwins,soquitcomplaining.”

“Yeah,yeah.”IrolledmyeyesatthesmirkIwassureshehadonherface.

“Fingerscrossedmycarisfixedtomorrow,andIcangetbacktomovingon.”

“Fingerscrossed,”sherepeatedbeforewesaidourgood-byes.

Ihungupmyphoneandplaceditonthearmofthechairbeforepickingupthe

magazineI’dstartedreadingbeforeValentinacalled.

“DidIhearthatyoumettheWilders?”

Opal,thefrontdeskclerkwho’dcheckedmein,interruptedmerightbeforeI

foundoutexactlywhathappenedbetweenthelatestcelebrity-couplesplit.I

lookedupfromthepagesandfoundherstandinginthearchwaythatseparatedthe

lobbyfromthelivingroom.

“Idid,”Isaid.“Wasn’timpressed.”

“They’regoodpeople.Youmusthavecaughtthemonabadday.”

“Maybe.IdidlikeMolly.AndDukewasn’tterrible.”

“It’sashamewhatthey’vebeenthrough.”

Sheturnedtowalkaway,butIwasintrigued.

“Wait...Whathavetheybeenthrough?”

Opalstoppedandturnedbacktofaceme,hereyesfullofsadness.“Their

mommaranoutonthemwhentheywerejustbabies.Andtheirdaddymayaswell

have.Hereallytried,butthemanjustcouldn’tputdownthebottle.”

“That’sterrible.”

“Thoseboyshadtogrowuprealfast.TakingcareofMolly,runningthefamily

business.Itwasalottohandle,butthey’vedonethebesttheycould.”

MyheartclenchedasIthoughtaboutyoungerversionsofLukeandDuketrying

totakecareofMolly.

Opalgavemeasmile.“Anyway,Ididn’tmeantobringdownyourevening.

Justthoughtyoumightwanttogivethemafairshakebeforeyouwrotethemoff.

AndtheirfullnamesareLucasandDaniel,”sheadded.“LukeandDukearejust

nicknamestheypickedupalongtheway.”

ChapterThree

Luke

“Morning,Wayne,”IsaidasIsteppedinsidetherepairshopbrightandearly

Mondaymorning,greetingtheoldbastardwithasmuchenthusiasmasIcould

muster.IknewhewasabouttoscrewmeonthepriceofanewhosefortheChevy.

Damntruckhadbeeninmyfamilyfortwogenerationsnow,andwasshowingher

age.

“Whereyabeen?”heasked,pullinghisheadoutfromunderthehoodofa

fancyforeigncar.“I’vehadyourpartwaitingsinceFriday.”

Sleeklines,perfectcurves...thecarhadtobeCharlotte’s.Thebrazenlittle

minxhadbeenonmymindsincemyrun-inwithheryesterday.Wantingtoavoida

repeatperformance,Icametothegarageearlytopickupmypart.Didn’tpegher

asanearlyriser.

“Igottiedupwithaleakinoneofthedrums,”Itoldhim.“Theentireplace

wasamessbeforewefoundit.TookmeandDukeallweekendtogetitcleaned

up.”

“That’sadamnshame,”Waynesaid.“Ihateitwhengoodliquorgetsspilled.”

“Youandmeboth.”

Itwasmoreaboutthedollarsthatwerespilledthananything.DukeandIwere

soclosetobeingintheblackthatwecouldpracticallytastetheprofits.Itwould

beanicechangesinceourfatherhaddonehisbesttorunWilderWhiskeyintothe

ground.

“Whatchagothere?”Iasked,walkingovertotakeapeekunderthehood.I

thoughtIknewtheanswer,butdamnitifIdidn’task.

Whatwasitaboutthisgirlthathadmesocurious?Iknewenoughaboutherto

knowthatIdidn’tparticularlyenjoyhercompany,butIhadn’tbeenabletoshake

thoseblueeyesfrommyhead.Orthesweetcurveofherassasshewalkeddown

thesidewalksI’dpracticallywornoutovertheyears.

It’sbecauseshe’sshinyandnew,dumbass.

Charlottewasthefirstfreshbloodwe’dhadinthistowninalongtime.My

ex-girlfriendwasthelast,andIalwayshopedshewouldstaythatway.Thelast

thingIneededwasarepeatperformanceofthatshitshow.IknewfordamnsureI

couldn’thandleit.

“SomethingIneverthoughtI’dseeinthisplace.”Hemovedovertogiveme

roomandpointedattheengine.“YouknowanythingaboutAudis?”

“Iknowtheycostwaytoomuch,”Isaidwithasmirk.“Ahundredgrand,I

think.”ItriedtorecallexactlywhatCharlottehadspoutedoffatWhattheCluck.

“Well,shit,”Waynesaid.“I’dbetterputonsomegloves.”Hewipedoneofhis

greasyhandsdownthefrontofhisoveralls.

“Itwasactuallyahundredtwentythousand,”anall-too-familiarsarcastic

voiceoffered.“Ifyouwanttobespecific.”

“I’dsayyoupaidtoomuch,”Isaid,turningtofindtheearlyriser.

CharlottestoodthereinasimplewhiteT-shirt,ripped-updenimjeans,and

Conversetennisshoes.Atfirstglance,italmostlookedlikeshefitinhereinour

smalltown,butIhadaprettygoodideathatheroutfitcostmorethantheChevy

partIwasheretopickup.

“GoodthingIdidn’tpayforit,”shesaidwithasmirk.

“Ifigured.”

“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”

Shecrossedherarmsacrossherbody,inadvertentlyshovingapretty

spectacularsetoftitsupevenmorethantheyalreadyperkilysat.Thedeepveeof

herT-shirtwasn’thidingmuch,andIwasappreciativeofthat.

IlookedoveratWayne.Hewasprettyappreciativeoftheviewtoo.

“AreyousayingthatIcouldn’tbuymyselfacarlikethat?”Thesteamrolling

offherwasjustassexyasthecleavage.

“Relax,Charlie,”Isaid,feelingmycocktwitchbehindthezipperofmy

Levi’s.Theholdthisgirlhadonmyattentionwasasfrustratingashell.“I’mnot

sayingthat.Ijustfiguredthatitwasagift.”

“Oh,soyouwereassuming.Youknowwhattheysayaboutthat?”Shelaughed,

repeatingmyquestionfromthedaybefore.

“You’reright.”Iheldupmyhandsinsurrender.“Itwaswrong.Iapologize.”

Thesatisfiedsmileonherfacewasenoughtoearnmyapology.Infact,astring

ofideasranthroughmyheadaboutallthewaysIcouldearnafewmoreofthose

smiles.I’duseawholelotmorethanmywords.I’dstartwithmymouthand

hands,andthenworkdowntothepartofmybodythatwascurrentlybogarting

morethanitsfairshareofmybloodsupply.

“Gladwecouldworkthatout.”Shebreezedbymeandextendedherhandto

Wayne.“I’mCharlotteFreemont.YoumustbeWayne.”

“Iam,”hesaid,grabbingherhandwithhisgreasypaw.

BothWayneandCharlottedroppedtheirgazetotheconnectionbetweenthem,

andIcouldn’thelpbutlaugh.Onewasmortifiedthathe’dforgottenaboutthe

grease,andtheotherhadprobablyneverbeendirtierinherentirelife.

“Oh,thisisgreat,”Isaid,leaningupagainstoneoftheothercarsthatWayne

hadinthegarage.AllIneededwaspopcorn.

“I’mrealsorry.”Waynequicklypulledaclean-ishragfromhisbackpocket

andhandedittoher.

“It’sfine.”Charlottefrownedassheswipedatthegreaseonherhand.She

glancedbackatme,andIsensedshewasdoingherbesttoreininthatstick-up-

her-assNewYorkattitude.“Justtellmeyoucanfixmycar.”

“Ican,”Waynesaidproudly.

“That’sgreat.”Shebeamedathimasshereturnedhisrag.“Today?”

“Well...”Wayneshovedtheraginthebackpocketofhisoverallsandrubbed

ahandonhisneck.“’Boutthat...”

“Comeon,”shepleaded.“I’llpayyouextraifyouhaveitdonetoday.Ireally

needtogetoutofhere.I’msupposedtobeinLA.”

Ofcoursesheis.

Wayneshookhishead.“Honey,evenifIwantedto,Idon’thavethepartI

need.”

“Whereisit?”

“OnitswayfromAmarillo.Shouldbeheretomorrow.Wednesdayatthe

latest.”

“So,Wednesday.”

“Notquite.ThenIhavetoputthepartin.”Heglancedskywardashe

considered.“Withthisnewenginecomponent,it’llprobablytakemeawhile,and

thenIhavetoputthewholethingbacktogether.MaybeFriday.”

“FML.”Sheletoutahuffandrolledhereyes.

“Oh,comeon,Charlie,”Isaid,hopingtodefusethetension.“Thisplaceisn’t

thatbad.”Thatstatementinitselfearnedmeaglare.

“It’sCharlotte,”sheremindedme.

Iknewexactlywhathernamewas,soIjustshrugged.

“Youseriouslycan’thaveitdoneanyfaster?”sheaskedWayneaftershe

finishedshootingdaggersinmydirection.

IknewaswellasWaynethatifhereallywantedto,hecouldhavehercar

donebyWednesday.Icouldseethedollarsignsinhiseyes.Ifhestretchedthisjob

outlongenough,hecouldchargeaprettypennyforlabor.Maybeitwouldserve

herrightforowningsuchanexpensivecar.Therewasnothingmodestaboutitand

clearlyscreamedshehadmoneytoburn.

“Youcanworkfasterthanthat,”ItoldWayne,steppingupbyherside.“Just

becauseyoucantaketillFridaydoesn’tmeanyouhaveto.”

“Whatareyoudoing?”Charlottefrownedatme,herconfusionnowlacedwith

agitation.

“Helpingyouout.”Iflashedheragrin.See,Icanbecivil.Helpful,even.

“Idon’tneedyourhelp,”shesnapped.“Icanbuymyowndamncars,andIcan

surelynegotiateadealtogetthemfixed.”

“Ijustthought—”IstartedtotellherthatIknewaguyinAustinwhocould

havethepartinandinstalledwellbeforeFriday,butthegirljustcouldn’tkeepher

mouthshut.

“Icantakecareofmyself.IhaveadegreeinmarketingfromYale,”shespat

out.“AndmyfamilyrunsoneofthelargestfirmsinNewYorkCity.Thanksforthe

offer,butnothanks.”

“Okaythen.”Ihesitatedforamoment,notwantingtolosethecoolI’dbeenso

desperatelytryingtokeep.Shewasn’tmakingiteasy.Ihadabusinesstorun,and

thelastthingIneededwastogetmixedupinherdrama.

“Thanksforthepart,Wayne.”IgavehimanodasIgrabbedthehoseoffthe

counterbythedoor.“Sendmeabill.”

Ididn’tevenbotherlookingatCharlotte.Ifshewantedtotakecareofherself,

shecoulddojustthat.

•••

“Sonofabitch,”Imuttered,tryingtogetthenewhoseintoplace.Afterthethird

try,ItosseditonthegroundandsteppedawayfromtheChevy.Frustrated,I

kickedupsomegravelfromthedrivewayasIpacedalongsidetherustyoldtruck

andslappedahandonthefender.

“Easythere,”mybrothersaid,easinguptomelikeIwasawildbeast.“Takea

breath.It’snotthetruck’sfault.”

“Itkindofis.Goddamnthingissoold,andeverythingisbentoutofshapein

it.”

“Kindoflikeyourightnow.”Hecuffedmyshoulder.“Especiallytheold

part.”

“Twofuckingminutesolderthanyou,”Isaid,flippinghimoff.Charlottemight

havebeengoodatpushingmybuttons,butDukewasanexpert.

“Whatcrawledupyourassthisearly?”Hepickedupthediscardedhoseand

walkedovertotakealookunderthehoodforhimself.

“Justoneofthosedays.Weeks,actually.First,theleakydrum,andnowthis,”I

huffed.“Anddon’tevengetmestartedonMissNewYork.”

“Ah,”Dukesaidashewiggledthehoseintoplace.“Thatexplainsitall.

Lady’sgotyourtailinatwist.”

“Theladydoesnot.”

“Mm-hmm.”Hechuckled.“I’msureyou’rereallythismadoverthesameshit

wedealwithallthetime.We’realwaysfixingthistruckorabrokenpartofthe

piss-tillery,”hesaidusingthepetnamehe’dcomeupwithforournon-profitable

business.

“Yeah,Iknow.”Isighed.“Maybethat’stheproblem.I’msickofthisshit.”

“No,you’renot,”heshotback.“You’retheonlyoneinthefamilythatactually

believeswecanmakesomethingoutofthisplace.”

Ilookedaroundtheproperty,takingstockofwhatexactlywehad—adecent

farmhouse,acoupleofsheds,andafullyrestoredbarnthathousedthedistillery.

Allonanicepieceofacreage.

DukegavemeapatonthebackbeforeheshutthehoodoftheChevy.“AndI

didn’twanttosaythisbecauseIhategivingyouanymoreofanegoboostthanI

haveto,butthatlastbatchwepulledwasactuallyprettydamngood.”

Igrinnedbackathim.“Itwasgood,wasn’tit?”

“Yeah,itwas.Iknowit’snotallofthisgettingyourgoat,”hesaid,throwing

hishandsout.“IfMissNewYorkisreallygettingunderyourskinthatmuch,I

suggestyoueitherfuckher,orgohelpWaynegethercarfixedandgetherthehell

outoftown.YouandIbothknowthatonlyoneofuscanberiledupatatime,and

I’mnotverygoodatkeepingmycomposure.”

Fuckher?WasthatwhatIreallywanted?Ithadtobe.Maybewecouldtake

ourhostilityandturnitintosomethingalittlemorefun.

God,Ihatedwhenmybrotherwasthesmartone.Iusuallyworethathat.

“Maybeyou’reright,”Iadmittedwithashakeofmyhead.

“You’regoddamnrightIam,”hesaid,gloating.“So,whatareyougoingtodo

aboutit?”

ChapterFour

Charlotte

“Let’sstartover,”Isaid,tryingnottothinkaboutthesexy-as-hellcountryboy

who’djuststormedoutoftherepairshop.

Sure,hewasjusttryingtohelp,butthesecondhedecidedthatIwasn’t

capableofhandlingthissituationonmyown,Isnapped.Nowhewasgone,andI

washerenegotiatingadealwiththegreasemonkey.

“Ineedthiscarfixedassoonaspossible.YouandIbothknowIdon’tbelong

here,”Isaid,andWaynenoddedinagreement.“Canyoupleasehelpmeout?”

“I’llputyourcaratthetopofthelist,”hefinallyagreed.“I’llaimfor

Wednesday,butI’mchargingextrafortherushjob.”

“Iwouldn’texpectanythingless,”Isaidwithasmile.

Whenhereachedouthishandtosealthedeal,Ihesitated.Minewerestill

greasyfromourfirsthandshake.

WhenIdidn’ttakehishand,helaughed.“Okaythen.Verbalagreement,itis.”

“Agreed.”

AsIwalkedoutofWayne’sAutoRepair,Ifeltasenseofpride.I’ddoneiton

myown.ThewordsofthepeopleI’dleftbehindinNewYorkrepeatedinmy

head.

“Letmehandlethis.”

“Justbeagoodlittlegirlandletthementakecareofeverything.”

“Youdon’thavetodoanythingbutlookpretty.”

ThehellIdid.I’dhandlewhatevercamemyway.Iwasanindependent

woman.

AsIwalkeddownthecrackedsidewalksofShadyGrovetowardthebusiness

district,Ifeltlikealioness.Sure,itwasasmallfeat,negotiatingadealformycar

repair,butdamnitifIdidn’tfeellikeroaring.ThiswaswhatKatyPerryhadbeen

singingabout.

Ipassedtheterriblechickenrestaurantwiththeridiculousnameandheaded

towardablockofsmallshops,allconnectedinarow.Whilethestructuresofthe

buildingswereallthesameagingbrickandwood,eachstorefronthaditsown

personality.Anantiquestorewasfirst,withgingerbread-styletrimandasignthat

readY

ESTERYEAR

.Itwasfollowedbyasmallhardwarestore,thenanewspaper

office,TheShadyGroveGazette.IchuckledasIwalkedpastthewindowand

sawtwopeopleinside,busilytypingawayontheircomputers.

Whatcouldtheypossiblyhavetoreportoninthistown?

Whenoneofthenewspaperworkerslookedupandcaughtmestaring,she

smiledandwaved.

Ohshit.Whatifthey’rewritingaboutme?Whatiftheout-of-towneristhe

headlinestory?

Iquicklyduckedoutofsightandmovedontothenextbuilding.ThelastthingI

neededwaspress,eveninasmalltown.Ifthestorysomehowmadeitswayback

toNewYork,someonewouldsurelycomeandtrytofindme.Totalksenseinto

me,asmyfatherhadputit.

Ididn’tneedatalking-to;Ineededtobeleftalone.Ineededtodosomething

onmyownforonce.I’dalreadyimaginedthesurpriseonmyparents’faceswhen

theyfoundmyapartmentemptyandmybelongingsgone.Theywereprobablystill

pissedthattheyhadtosendachurchfullofpeoplehome.Servedthemrightfor

signingmeupforsomethingIdidn’tagreeto.

Itookinadeepbreath,pleasedthatthefreshcountryairseemedtocalmmy

nerves.Thisplacewasn’tsobad.Withlittletonotrafficandlittletonopeople,it

wasaquietplace.Agoodplacetocollectyourself.Toreflectandplanahead.

Also,agoodplacetogetsomemuch-neededalonetime...ortogetmynails

done,IrealizedasIfoundmyselfinfrontofaquaintlittlesalon—CutandDyed.

Mayaswellmakethemostofthismorning,IthoughtasIlookeddownatmy

handsandgrimacedatmychippednailpolish.

Iwalkedthroughthedoor,andtheeyesofthethreeclientsandthestylists

helpingthemallfocusedonme.Theclientswereallofacertainage,asinold.

Andthestylistsallappearedtobeintheirmid-forties,eachofthemmodelingthe

latestinmomcuts.

“CanIhelpyou?”oneofthestylistsaskedfrombehindthechairofanelderly

womangettingpermrodstwistedintoherhair.

Foramoment,IthoughtImusthaveenteredatimewarp.Permrods?

“Ihopeso,”Isaidwithasmile.“Iwashopingtogetamanicure.”Iheldupa

handtorevealtheremnantsofpolishonmynails.“Andablowout?”

TherewasnothingIlovedmorethansomeoneelsedoingmyhairforme.Back

inNewYork,Iwenteverytwoorthreedays.IjusthopedtoGodthisplace

offeredmorethanperms.

“Ofcourse,”shesaidwithasmile,andthenyelled,“Audrey!”startlingnot

onlyme,butherclient.“Doyouhavetimeforamanicure?”sheaskedayounger-

lookinggirlwhosteppedintothesalonfromabackroom.

“Sure,”Audreysaidwithasmile.

Unlikehercoworkers,Audreywasalittlespriteofathing.Herlongdarkhair

wasanunnaturalcolorofburgundy,butitsuitedherstyle,whichwasblackjeans

andavintage-lookingT-shirtwiththewordsL

IVE

F

REE

onthefront.Hereyeswere

dramaticallylinedwithdarkcharcoal,andtattoosonherarmsandcollarbone

peekedoutfromhershirt.

“Comeonback.”Shebeckonedmewithawave,andthemismatchedbangle

braceletsonherwristsclinkedtogetherinanalmostsoothingmelody.“I’m

Audrey,incaseyoudidn’tcatchthatannouncement,”shesaidwithachuckle.

Ifollowedhertoasmallroominthebackofthesalon,whereanailtablewas

setupinacorner.“Iheard.”

“Bessisabitofaloudmouth,”sheconfessedaswetookourseatsoutof

earshotoftherestofthecrew.

“Savesonanintercomsystem.”

“Suredoes.”Shesmiled.“So,youmustbethenewgirl.”

“Isthatwhatthey’recallingme?”

“Newgirl.Out-of-towner.Broke-downAudiatWayne’s.Tonameafew,”she

saidwithagrin.

“It’sCharlotte,”Itoldher.

“Well,Charlotte,it’snicetomeetyou.”Sheplacedasmalldishwithaself-

explanatorydecorationinthecenterthatreadR

INGS

AND

T

HINGS

.

IslippedoffthetworingsIworeonmyrighthandandplacedtheminthedish,

thenmanagedtostopmyselffromreachingfortheringthatusedtobeonmyleft

hand.ThephantomweightthatIstillfeltonthatfourthfingerwasstartingtofade,

butifyoulookedcloselyyoucouldseetheoutlineofwhatusedtobe.Or,atleast,

whatcouldhavebeen.

“Doyouhaveacolorinmind?”Audreyasked,pullingmebacktothepresent.

“LincolnParkAfterDark,”Isaidwithouthesitation.

“Ilikeagirlthatknowswhatshewants,”shesaidwithanod.“It’smyfavorite

too.”Sheheldupherperfectlymanicuredhands.“Justtouchedmineup

yesterday.”

“It’sastaple.”

“Itreallyis.”

AswebondedoverourloveofOPI,Ihadtoadmitalittlepangofjealousy

rakedthroughme.Audreycouldpaintherownnails.Luckygirl.EverytimeItried

to“touchup”mypolish,itendeduplookinglikeadrunktoddlerhadbeenholding

thebrush.

Idippedonehandintothebowlofwarm,scentedwaterthatAudreyofferedas

shereadiedhersupplies.

“WhatdoyouthinkofShadyGrove?”Shepickedupmyotherhandandbegan

toremovetheoldpolish.“Honestly?”sheaddedwithapointedlook.

“Well...”Ihesitated.“It’ssmall.”

“Microscopic.”

“Butit’squaint,”Isaid,tryingtobepolite.

“It’sPodunk.”

“Maybealittle.Mostofthepeoplearereallynice,though.”

“Theycanbe.”Sheslippedmypolish-freehandbackintothewaterand

pickeduptheother.“Whohaveyoumet?BesidesWayne,”shesaidwitha

chuckle.“He’satrip,right?”

“Heis,buthedidagreetogetmycarfixedbyWednesday,sothat’sgood.”

“HisWednesdayisusuallyFriday.”Whenasmallsighslippedfrommylips,

sheadded,“Butmaybehe’llprovemewrong.Enoughabouthim.Whoelsehave

youmet?”

“Opalattheinn,”Isaid.“She’ssweet,andtheroomshegavemeisvery

nice.”

“Greatgal.”

“AndMaggieatWayne’s.”

“Nosygossip,”Audreysaidmatter-of-factly.“HernicknameisMaggiethe

Mouth.”

“Goodtoknow.”Ilaughed.

“MollyWilder.”

“Loveher.Weactuallygraduatedtogether.”

“Sheseemsawesome,”Itoldher.“Andherbrothers.”

Audreygavemeaslygrin.“Nicetolookat,right?”

“They’reokay.”Ishrugged,tryingnottofanthefirethatseemedtoburninside

mewhenIthoughtaboutLuke.Theywerebeyondnicetolookat.Itwasthetalking

partthatIwasn’tafanof.“Ihaven’thadtoomuchinteractionwiththem.Duke

seemsniceenough,butIknowaplayerwhenIseeone.”

“Youpeggedhim.”Audreynodded,confirmingmysuspicions.“AndLuke?”

“MostarrogantmanI’veevermet.”

Whatwasevenmorefrustratingthanhisarrogancewasthefactthatnomatter

howhardItried,themomentIthoughtabouthim,mybodyheatedwithmorethan

justanger.Myheartratepickedup.Mypalmsbecamesweaty.Mymouthwent

fromdrytowetinsecondsasifreadytoriphispantsoffwithmyteethandtake

careofhimfrommyknees.AndIdidn’tevenliketheguy.Fuckinginfuriatingwas

whatitwas.

“Really?”Shebeganfilingmynails.“I’msurprised.He’susuallyprettydown-

to-earth.”

“Nottome.Sofar,myinteractionswithhimhaveincludedhimtellingmethat

I’mstuck-upandspoiled.”HeatroseinmychestasIthoughtabouthim.“He’sgot

somenerve,I’lltellyouthatmuch.Isawhimthismorningatthegarage,andhe

actuallytriedtonegotiatewithWayneonmybehalf.AsifIcouldn’tdoitmyself,”

Iscoffed.

“That’sterrible,”Audreysaid.“Ihateitwhenagood-lookingmanoffershis

help.Whatabastard.”

“Right?Idon’tneedamantotakecareofme.”

“Girlpower.”Audreyheldupahandinsolidarity.“Imean,whatkindof

assholewouldtrytohelpawomanout?Especiallyinaplacethatshe’snever

beento,andtalkingtoamechanicthathe’sknownsincebirth.Onethathe

probablyknowsforsurewouldtakeadvantageofsomeonethatdrivesasuper-

expensivecar.”

IfinallyrealizedwhatAudreywasdoingwhenInoticedthesmirkonherface.

“ThatLukeWilderisnogood,Itellyou.”Sheshookherfisttowardtheceiling

tolayeronthesarcasm.

“Shit,”Isaid,realizingthatImighthaveoverreactedabit.“MaybeIwasa

littleharshonhimtoday.”

“Maybe.”

“ButhedidrefertomeasaNewYorkerwithastickupmyass,sohe’snot

completelyoffthehook.”

“Well,he’snotperfect.”Shelaughed.

“Enoughaboutthat,”Isaid,needingtochangethesubject.IfIthoughtabout

Lukeanylonger,Imightactuallygettheurgetogoandapologizetohissexyass.

Inmydefense,I’dspentthelasttwenty-eightyearshavingmentellmewhattodo

andhowtodoit.MyreactiontoLukewasmerelyasideeffectofmycurrent

rebellion.“What’sanobviouslytrendy,fashionablechicklikeyoudoinghere?”

“Youknowthehumanintercomoutthere?”sheasked,andInodded.“That’s

mymom.”

“Hmm.Iwouldhaveneverguessed.”

“Yeah,we’renightandday,soIwenttocosmetologyschool.Triedtomakeit

inLAforafewmonths.Ranoutofmoney,andnowI’mback,”shesaid,

apparentlynottoothrilledwithhowthingshadendedup.“Itwasn’texactlywhatI

hadplannedformylife,butitiswhatitis.I’mjustgoingtotryandmakethemost

ofit.”

“Forwhatit’sworth,”Isaid,watchingasshefinishedtrimmingbackmy

cuticles.“Yougiveakick-assmanicure.”

“Girl,Iknow.”Shegrinned.“Whenwe’refinishedhere,I’mgoingtogiveyou

ablowoutthatwillrockyourworld.”

“Ican’twait.”

ChapterFive

Luke

Mondaycouldkissmyass.EspeciallythisMonday.

StartingandfinishingthedayatWayne’swasn’twhatI’dplanned.Firstthe

hoseonthetruckwascrap,andthenIhadtogobackandgetanewsparkplugfor

thetractorweusedtomowwith.Ontopofthat,I’dtriedalldaynottothinkabout

Charlotte.Whichwasimpossible.Sexylittleminxkeptleapingtotheforefrontof

mymind,givingmethesamekindofhellshehadthatmorning.Itwasn’tmyday,

thatwasfordamnsure.

WhenDukesuggestedwegrababucketofbeersattheDrunkSkunk—Shady

Grove’slocalwateringhole—I’djumpedatthechancetodrownmyfrustrations.

NowIwasthreebeersin,andthingswerestartingtolookup.

“Here’stogivingWaynewaymoremoneythanhedeserves,”Dukesaid,

holdinguphisbeer.

“Seriously.”Iclinkedmybottleagainsthis.“Canwepleasejusthaveamonth

wherenothingmechanicalbreaksdown?”

“Amen,”Dukeagreed.

Thefactwas,weweresodamnclosetoturningaprofitatthedistillery,we

couldtasteit.Withournextbatchnearingage,we’dhaveanewlottosendoutto

distributorsattheendofnextmonth.Hopefully,fromtherewecouldfinallymake

WilderWhiskeyahouseholdname.

MybrotherandIdrankourbeers,butitdidn’ttakelongforhimtobe

distractedbywhathecalled“thelocaltalent.”

“You’reseriouslygoingtoditchmeforthesamegirlsyou’vebeenrunning

gameonsincehighschool?”Iaskedwhenhetoldmehewasgoingtotheback

roomtoplaypoolwithLacyDanvers.

“Firstofall,Idon’tneedgame,”hesaid.“Lookatme.”

Ishookmyhead.Hisarroganceneverceasedtoamazeme.

“Second,thelasttimeLacyDanverswasontherosterwasjunioryear.Not

sureifyouremember,butshegotknockedupafterhighschoolandmarriedthat

prickfromHillCrest.”

HillCrestwasarivalschoolacountyover.Thesameschoolthatbeatusin

theplayoffsoursenioryear.Wewerestilllickingourwoundsfromthatlossover

adecadelater.

“Ohyeah.”

“She’sdivorcednowandbackwithherparents,”heexplained.“Shecouldbe

theonethatgotaway,brother.”

“Idoubtthat,”Isaid.Dukehadn’tsomuchasmentionedthegirlintenyears.

TherewasnopointinarguingthefactthatassoonasDukesealedthedealwith

Lacy,he’dbeontothenext.

ThatwaswhereheandIdiffered.Hehadtheattentionspanofagnatwhenit

cametowomen.I,ontheotherhand,wasmonogamoustoafault.SometimesI

wishedIcouldbemorelikeDukewithhisone-nightstandsandnotgivingashit.I

guessedhewasmorelikeMominthatway,abletojustshutitoff.Hell,hecould

probablyleaveShadyGrovejustlikeMomdidandneverevenglanceoverhis

shoulder.Luckyforme,he’dstuckaround.Afteradayliketoday,Iwasn’tsureI

couldhandleallthisonmyown.

“Shecouldbeyoursister-in-law,”Dukesaidasheslappedahandonmy

back.

Ilaughed.“I’llgettheinvitationsmadeup.”

“Beforeyoudothat,whydon’tyouheadonoverthereandtakecareofthat

problemwetalkedaboutearlier.”Henoddedinthedirectionofoneverysexy

brunettesaddleduptotheoakbar.“MightturnyourMondayaround.”

Irolledmyeyesandshookmyheadashewalkedaway.Assoonashewasout

ofsight,IglancedovermyshoulderandcaughtCharlotte’sreflectioninthemirror

thathungbehindthebar.Eveninthemutedlighting,Icouldseetheblueofher

eyes.Iwatchedasshetookadrinkoftheclearliquorshehadpouredoverice,her

fingerskillfullykeepingthelimewedgethatfloatedontopfromslippingagainst

herlips.

Manup.You’vegotnothingtolose.

Shealreadyhatedme.ThewayIsawit,thenightwouldeitherendwithher

stillhatingme—ormaybe,justmaybe,we’dmakepeace.Mydickperkedupin

interest.Ontopofthat,I’dcomeupwithaveryinterestingpropositionforher,

andIwashopinglikehellthatIcouldmakeheranoffershecouldn’trefuse.

Istoodupfrommyseatinthebackcornerandwalkedovertoher.“Figured

youforafruitydrinkkindofgirl.”

“Doyouknowhowmanycaloriesareinthosefruitydrinks?”shereplied,not

lookingover.Inmyperipheralvision,Icouldseeherreflectionlookingatme.

“Yousurprisedmewiththestraightvodka.”

“Howdoyouknowthisisn’tjustwater?”

“Bythewayyoupursedyourlipswhenyouswallowed,likeitburnedgoing

down.Therearemuchbetterthingsyoucanputinyourmouth.”

Thatgotherattention.ThoseblueeyessnappedtomineandwidenedasI

leanedinalittlecloser.

“Icouldhelpifyou’relookingforsomethingalittle...sweeter.”

Charlottedidn’tnod,butshedidn’tshakeherheadeither.Itookherlackof

responseasayes,andwonderedforasecondexactlywhatIcouldgetawaywith.

WhatifIjustwentforitandclosedthegapbetweenus?WhatifIpressed

mylipsagainsthersandslippedmytongueintothatsmartlittlemouth?

Astemptingasthenotionwas,Iraisedahandtothebartenderinstead.“Two

glassesofWilder,”Itoldhim.“Neat.”

Iplacedahandonthebackoftheemptybarstoolnexttoherandwaitedfor

hertonodherokaybeforeIsatdown.

“Whiskey?”sheaskedwhentheglasseswereplacedinfrontofus.

“Bestwhiskeyintown.”

“You’retellingmethatthisisn’tgoingtoburnlikethevodka?”

“I’llguaranteeit.”

“Andwhatmakesyousosure?”shesaid,leaningovertowardme.Hereyes

werealittleglassy,makingmewonderexactlyhowmuchofthatvodkashe’dhad

todrink.

“BecauseImadeit.”

“Sure,youdid.”Shescoffed,clearlynotbelievingme.WhenIraisedmy

browstochallengeherskepticism,shesaid,“You’reserious?”

“Notafanofliars.Definitelynotonemyself.”

“Okaythen.”Shepickedupherglassandsniffedattherichamber-colored

liquid.“Let’sjustsee.”Sheliftedtheglasstoherlipsandtookasmallsip.

Ididthesame,knowingwhattoexpect—thesmoothoakfinish,therichvanilla

undertones,thesweetaftertastethatmadeyouwanttogobackformore.AsI

swallowedmine,Iwaitedanxiouslyforherreaction.

“Well?”

“Nottoobad.”

Shewascagey,carefulnottoletmeknowexactlyhowmuchshelikedit.But

whenshetookanothersip,Iknewwehadanewfan.

“Can’tbelieveyoueverdoubtedme.”

Wesatthereforamoment,justlookingateachother.Whileshewasstill

wearingthesameclothesfromthismorning,somethingwasdifferent.Herhair

wassmoother,hermakeupalittledarker.ThepinkpolishthatI’dnoticedonher

nailshadbeenreplacedwithanalmostblackcolor.

“Howwasyourday?”Iasked.

“Great.AfterdealingwithWayne,Ispentthedayatthesalon.”

“YoumetAudrey?”

“Idid.”Charlottegavemeaslightlycrookedsmile.“Don’tIlookfantastic?”

WhileIdidn’tmisshernormallybitingtones,Icouldtellshewasalittle

drunk.Especiallywhensheattemptedtobathernowfullerlashesatme.

Damn,she’sacutedrunk.

“Fantastic.Youwannasplitapizza?”Iasked,determinedtogetsomefoodin

herbeforetheliquortookovercompletely.

“Pizza?”

“Yeah,asinpepperoni,cheese,sauce...You’vehaditbefore,right?”When

sheansweredmewithaneyeroll,Isaid,“Anddon’tgivemethattoomany

caloriesbullshit.”

“Well,itis.”

Isilencedherwithafingeragainstherpoutylips.“Webothneeddinner.

Humorme.Oneslice.”

Iletmyfingerlingerinplaceforamoment.Whenherlipspuckeredslightly

againstmyskin,Ihadtowillmycockintosubmission.Notyet,pal.Idroppedmy

handfromhermouth.

Iwasn’tthekindofguywhotookadvantageofagirlwho’dhadtoomuchto

drink.BeforeImadeamove,I’dgetsomefoodandwaterinher.ThelastthingI

wantedwasherdoinganythingshe’dregret.

“Fine,”shesaid.“Pizzadoessoundprettygood.”

“Thatagirl.”

•••

Onepizzalater,thetwoofusweresittingatasmalltableatthefrontofthebar.

Whilewe’dkeptourconversationlightsofar,Icouldn’thelpbutthinkofallthe

questionsIhadforCharlotte.Myinterestinherwentfarbeyondlooks.

“Ilearnedalittlebitaboutyoutoday,”shesaid.

“Don’tbelieveeverythingyouhear.”Iwasprettysuremyreputationinthis

townwasgolden,butyouneverknowwhat’ssaidbehindcloseddoors.

“Allgood,Ipromise.”

“Whatdidyouhear?”

“You’vegotalotoffans,”shesaidwithasmile.“Ofthefemalevariety.”

“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”

Itriedtokeeptomyselfandignorealotoftheattentionyoungerwomenthrow

myway.ButIcouldhavegoneonfordaysabouthowdoingtherightthinghadn’t

alwayspannedoutthewayI’dhoped.Didn’tkeepmymomaround.OrSarah.

Idecidedagainstopeningup,though.Ibarelyknewthisgirl,andthelastthing

Iwantedwastobaremysoultoasexystrangerpassingthrough.Asubjectchange

wasneeded.

“So...howexactlydidyouenduphere?”

“Longstory,”shesaidwithasigh.

“I’vegotnoplacetobe.”

“Well...”

Icouldseeherhesitationinrevealingherreasons,whichonlymademewant

toknowmore.

“I’monmywaytoLA,”shefinallysaid.“I’mmovinginwithafriend.”

“Boyfriend?Girlfriend?”

“Agirlthat’safriend.Valentina.”

“Okay.”Icouldhearthereliefinmyownvoice.“NewYorkgirlmovestoLA.

That’sabigmove.Yourunningfromsomething?”

“Thelaw,”shesaidplainly,causingmetonearlychokeonthewaterI’djust

drank.

“Seriously?”

Herlipstwitched.“IshotamaninReno.”

WhenIrealizedshewasyankingmychain,Iwasrelievedandmorethana

littleturnedonbythegirl’swit.NewYorkerswerepeggedasbeingstreetsmart,

butthisonedidn’tmissabeat,soIplayedalong.

“Justtowatchhimdie?”

“Youknowmystory?”Shechuckled,andIlaughedalongwithher.

“I’mfamiliar.JohnnyCashisafavoritearoundhere.I’msurprisedyouknow

whoheis.”

Shegrinned.“EvenNewYorkisn’timmunetoalittlecountrycharm.”

That’swhatIwashoping.Shewantedcountrycharm,andIhaditinspades.

Hell,truckloads.I’dturnitupandgetexactlywhatIwantedfromher.

“Ijustneedafreshstart,”shesaid,confessingasmuchasIthoughtIwasgoing

togetoutofherthatnight.

WhatevershewasleavingbehindinNewYorkwasn’tsomethingshewas

readytotalkabout,whichwasfinebyme.WhenI’dwalkedoverhere,Iwas

aimingforsimpleandeasy.ToomuchtalkofthepastmightleadsomeplaceI

didn’tthinkeitherofuswerelookingtoendup.

“Freshstartsaregood.I’veneededacoupleinmylife.”Theurgetoclearup

thebadbloodbetweenuswasweighingonme.Seemedlikeasgoodatimeas

any.“Maybewegetone?Imightnothavemadethebestfirstimpression.”

“Meeither,”sheadmitted.“Iwasajerktoo.IpromiseI’mnotacomplete

asshole.”

“Samehere.Allisforgiven.”

Thetruthwas,seeinghersittingtherewithherkissablelipsandalookof

vulnerabilitythatIhadn’tseenfromheryet,Iwouldhavepardonedherfor

actuallyshootingamaninReno.

“Tofreshstarts,”shesaid,raisingherglassofwater.

“Tofreshstarts.”Inoddedandclinkedmyglassagainsthers,grinningbackat

her.“So,aboutwhatyoumentionedyesterday,amarketingdegreefromYale.”

“Whataboutit?”

“AnychanceIcouldconvinceyoutouseittohelpmeout?”

ThecutestlittlelineformedbetweenherbrowsassheprocessedwhatIwas

saying.

“See,I’vegotthisfantasticwhiskeythatneedsselling,andI’maboutas

uselessastitsonanunwhenitcomestosocialmediaandallthatshit.”

Shegiggled.“Areyouaskingmetohelpyoumarketyourwhiskey,Luke?”

“Yes.”

“What’sinitforme?”

“Whatdoyouwant?”Iteased,lettingourstarelingerforafewseconds.I

wouldhavegivenmyleftarmforhertosaysomethingalongthelinesofIwant

youtofuckmybrainsout.Especiallywhensheranthetipofhertongueoverher

lipsasshethought.

“Whatdoyouhavetooffer?”shesaid,shiftingalittleinherseat.

Asmuchasshewasgettingtome,Icouldseethatshewasfeelingittoo.The

sexualtension.Theheat.Thechemistry.Itwasundeniable.

“Icanthinkofafewthings.”Irestedmyforearmsonthetableandleaned

closer.Thesweetsmellofherexpensiveperfumewasintoxicating.

“Well...”Sheleanedforward,mirroringmyposition,andittookalotof

willpowernottotossthetablebetweenusacrosstheroom.“Icanthinkofone

thing,”shesaidsoftly,drawingmeinevenmore.“I’dreallylikethatcarpartyou

saidyourbuddycouldshipfromAustin.”

“Yougotit,”Imusteredup,drowningoutthelustthatwasabouttoripmein

two.Neverinmylifehadawomanriledmeupthewaythisonedid.Mydickwas

sohard,Icouldhaveusedittopoundnails,andallwe’ddonewassithereand

talktonight.

“Good,”shesaidwithahugegrin.“You’vegotadeal.”

ChapterSix

Charlotte

Twohourslater,LukeandIstoodintheparkinglotofthebar.Ileanedagainstthe

sideofhisbigblacktruckasIwatchedhim,mylipsturnedupinasmile.

“Turnsoutyou’renotsobad,”hesaid,hismouthtwitchingashewatchedme.

“Thatso?”Iplacedahandonmyhip.

Leaningcloser,hetuckedastraylockofhairbehindmyearandshrugged.

“Whenyou’renotrunningyourmouth,youcanbedownrighttolerable.”

Whenhisfulllipsblossomedintoawidesmile,somethinginsidemezinged.

Laughing,Ishookmyhead.

We’dspenttheeveningtalking,eatingpizza,andsippingonwhiskey.Ifelt

relaxedandloose.Allmyworrieshadtakenabackseattothisgorgeousmanwith

hiscockypersonalityandmega-whitesmile.

Lukecouldn’tseemtostoptouchingme—hishandatmylowerbackasheled

mefromthebar,thewayherosetohisfeetandhelpedmefrommybarstoolwhen

Ineededtousetherestroom,andnow,hisfingertipsgrazingmybarearmsand

thentouchingmyhair.Hisattentionwasdizzying,becauseIwasn’tusedto

forwardmen.

Well,thatwasn’ttrue.Iwasusedtomenwhowereforwardwiththeirself-

accolades.Braggingabouthowmuchmoneythey’dmadeinthestockmarket,

abouttheirFifthAvenueaddressortheirjobtitle.ThosewerethingsIwasused

to.

Lukewasthecompleteopposite.Iwasn’tusedtoamanwhohadnothingto

offerbuthimselfandyetgaveitsofreely—lettinghisinterestbeknown,tohell

withtheconsequences.Becausethetwoofus?Wemadeabsolutelynosense.I

wouldbeleavingsoon,andIhadafeelinghewouldliveouthislifehereanddie

inthesameplacehe’dbeenborn.

Wecouldn’tbemoredifferent,butourbodiesdidn’tcare.Thechemistry

zippingbetweenusfueledanattractionthatgrewwitheverybarbwelobbedat

eachother.Hewasfunandchallenginginawaythatwasentirelynew.

“Whenyoufeedmewhiskeyallnight,whatdidyouexpect?Itendtolosemy

filter,”Isaid,liftingmychin.

“Ididfeedyoumorethanwhiskey.Iwasn’tacompleteassholetonight.”

Inodded,rememberingthepizzawe’dshared.“Foronce.”

Hismouthtwitchedagain.“Ikindalikeyouwhenyou’refullofwhiskey,

duchess.”

Thatdamnnicknameagain.

Hewinkedatme,andIalmostmeltedintoapuddlerightthereinthedusty

gravelparkinglot.Forthelongesttime,westayedlikethat—oureyeslocked

together,ourhipslinedup,hishandatmywaist...

Areyougonnakissme,orwhat?

Ididn’thavetowonderanylonger.Luke’sgazedarkenedandheloweredhis

headtowardmine.Iliftedontomytoes,needingtoclosethedistancebetweenus

fast.HetookmymouthwithasoftkissandIimmediatelyresponded,partingmy

lips.Histonguemovedagainstmineindeep,druggingkissesthatmademytoes

curlinmysneakers.

Damn,themancouldkiss.

Turnedouthistruckwasn’thisonlybigpossession.Tomywhiskey-soaked

brain,itfeltlikeamassivesteelrodwastuckedinsidehisjeans.Jesus,hewas

hung.

CometoMama.

Anoldermanheadedtohiscarwhistledatus.“Lookslikesomebody’sgettin’

luckytonight.”

Lukecursedunderhisbreathandgrabbedmyhand.“Peopleinthistownare

fuckin’nosy.Comeon.”

Insidethecabofhistruck,thescentofoil,leather,andwhiskeycreateda

warm,cozyatmosphere.

“Wherearewegoing?”Iasked.

“I’mdrivingyoubacktotheinn.”

Disappointmentflashedthroughme.Damn.So,weweren’tgoingbacktohis

placeforwildsex.

“Howdoyouknowthat’swhereI’mstaying?”

Hisanswerwasasmirkonthosegorgeousfulllips.“God,you’recutewhen

you’resassy.It’stheonlyhotelintown.”

WhenwepulledtoastopintheparkinglotofthelittleVictorianhousethat

hadbeenconvertedtoabedandbreakfast,Lukeshiftedthetruckintoparkandcut

theengine.

“Youwanttocomeinside?”Myvoicetrembledonlyslightly,butmyheartwas

jack-hammeringagainstmyribs.

“Betternot.”Hisvoicewasrough,andIsensedhisrestraintwashangingbya

thread,justlikemine.“Peopleinthistowntalk.”Hereachedoverandplacedhis

handonmyknee,givingitasqueeze.“Plus,I’mnotgonnalie.I’mattractedtoyou,

duchess,andImightnotbehavelikeagentlemanifIcomeinside.”

“MaybeI’mdonewithguyswhopretendtobeperfectgentlemen.”

Hereleasedagrowloffrustrationandleanedincloser,placingasoftkisson

myjaw.Hecouldbesuchastubborn,rough-around-theedgesprick,andthen

othertimes,hecouldbesosweetandtender.

“Ialmosthatetoadmitthis,”Isaid,“butIhadfunwithyoutonight.”

“Metoo,”hemurmuredwithhislipsinchesfrommine.

Wettingmylipswithmytongue,Ifoughtoffasmileatthewayhishungrygaze

trackedthemovement.Hestartedslow,hislipshoveringatmyjawbeforehe

pepperedsoftkissesagainstmyneck.

“Luke,”Igroaned.Iwantedthis,andIhadnoideawhathadcomeoverme.

Maybeitwaspartofbeingontherun,butIwantedtosin.Wantedhimtomakeme

forgeteverything—mypast,mymistakes...hell,evenmyowndamnname.

Capturingmymouthinahungrykiss,helashedhistongueatmineandItook

everythingheoffered.Thefeelofhisrough,callousedfingertipsgrazingmyskin,

thetasteofwhiskeyonhisbreath,hismasculinescent—itwasintoxicating.

Climbingoverthecenterconsole,Iplantedmyselfinhislapandpushedmy

handsintohishairasIkissedhimback.Hiskisseswereroughandintense,andI

couldn’thelpbutwonderaboutthewaythismanfucked.Wouldhetakemehard

andfast,ordrawthingsoutuntilIwasawhimperingmess?

MovinginhislapuntilIfoundtherightangle,Ipushedmyhipscloser,

grindingagainstthesteelyerectionbehindhiszipperthatpressedatmycore.

Hisdeepgroanoffrustratedneedmademyinnermusclesclench.

AsIworkedmyselfagainsthim,wecontinuedkissing,hishandslockedonmy

hipsasIrolledthemagainsthis.Allmycardswereonthetable.Iwantedhimand

heknewit.Andluckyforme,itseemedhewantedmejustasbadly.

Lukegrippedmyass,workingmeagainsthiscock.Iwasclose,soclose.Just

alittlemorepressure...

“Timeout.”Hegroaned.

Timeout?Didhejustcallatimeout?Puttingafewinchesofspacebetween

us,Iblinkedtoclearmyhazyvisionandgazedupathim.

“I’mnotfuckingyouinmytruck.Andifwegoanyfurther,that’swhat’sgoing

tohappen.”

Myheartpounding,mypantiessoaked,Icrawledfromhislap.Partlyannoyed

athimandpartlyannoyedatmyselfforgettingcarriedaway,Igrabbedmypurse

andopenedthedoor.

Outsidethetruck,thefreshairdidwonderstoclearmyhead.Iwasneverlike

this.

Luke’sslysmilewasbackashehoppedoutofthetruck,andhewasbackto

rubbingmyarms.“Whatareyoudoingtomorrow?”

Wasn’tthatagoodquestion?“Idon’tknow.I’llhavetocheckmyschedule,”I

snapped,stillmadathimforcallingadamntimeout.

Hechuckledagain,lowunderhisbreath,andthesoundvibratedagainstmy

skin.Ihadnoideahowitwaspossibleforthismantogetundermyskinso

deeply,soquickly,buthehad.

“Iwasthinkingifyou’refree,I’dshowyouaroundthedistillery.Butyou

know,onlyifyou’refree.”

Thewiseass.HeknewIhadnothingtodobutsitaroundandwaitformycarto

getfixed.

“I’mfree,”Ihuffed.

“I’llpickyouupateight.”

Myeyebrowsshotup.“Inthemorning?”

“Okay,makeitten,”hesaidwithachuckle.“Andbereadytoputthat

marketinggeniustowork.”

“Yougotit.”

•••

AtfivetotenwhenLukeshowedupthenextmorning,Iwasup,showered,and

dressed.Myhairwasstilldamp,butwhenIsawhimstandingthereatthefootof

thestairs,holdingtwopapercupsofhotcoffee,thelastthingIwantedwasto

spendtwentyminutesblow-dryingmyhairandputtingonmakeupwhenLuke

probablydidn’tcareaboutthingslikethatanyway.

Besides,thatwastheoldCharlotte,alwaysputtogetherandpolished.And

lookwhereithadgottenme.Nowhere.

“Ready?”heasked,lookingupatmefromtheparlorwhereOpalhadlefthim.

Iwinked.“Givemethirtyseconds.”

Intheadjoiningbathroom,Ipulledmystill-damphairintoahighmessy

ponytailanddabbedonsomelipbalm.There.Iwasready.

Mycellphonechimed,andIglanceddownatitwithascowl.Myparents.

Again.Hittingabuttontosilenceit,Istuffeditinthebackpocketofmyjeans.I

wasn’treadytofacethemoralltheshitIleftbehindwhenIhightaileditoutof

NewYork.

“Thatwasfast,”Lukesaidashehandedmeacupofcoffee.

Thesurpriseinhistonetoldmethatwasunexpected.IdecidedthatIlikedthis

newCharlotte,likeddoingtheoppositeofwhatpeopleexpected.

“Creamandsugarinyours.Hopethat’sallright.”

“It’sperfect.”Itookasipofthewarmbrew.

“Howareyoufeelingthismorning?”Lukeaskedasweclimbedintohistruck.

Iwasn’tsureifhewasreferringtothewhiskeywe’ddownedlastnight,orthe

wayhe’dleftmeriledupandaroused.

“Isleptlikeababy.”Atleast,thatmuchwastrue.Iwasstillslightlyannoyed

athimforthewayhe’dcalledthingsofflastnight,butI’dneveradmitthattohim.

Afewminuteslater,weturnedoffthemainroadandontohisproperty,rolling

hillsandgrassypasturesdottedwithmassivepecantrees.

“Thisisme.”Hepointedtoapalebricktwo-storyhouseatthetopofthehill.

Aformerfarmhouse,ithadawidefrontporchandplantation-styleshutterspainted

aglossyblackframingthewindows.

“Allofthatjustforyou?”

Heshookhishead.“DukeandMollyandIalllivethere.Dadleftittous.”

Mythroatsuddenlyfeltdry,andItookanothersipofcoffee.Irecalledwhat

OpalhadsaidaboutLuke’spast.

Afterparkinghistruckbesidethequintessentialredbarnatthefarendofhis

property,weclimbedintosomethingLukecalledaside-by-side,whichtome

lookedlikearevved-upgolfcart.

WecruisedaroundtheacreagewhileLukepointedthingsouttome—thetree

househeandhisbrotherbuiltwhentheyweretwelve,thepondwherehegot

caughtskinny-dippingwiththepastor’sdaughter.Itwascrazyhowcomfortable

LukeandIweretogether.I’dknownhimamereforty-eighthours,andyetwefelt

likeoldfriends.

Thefreshcountryairandsunshinedidwondersformymood.Iwashappythat

I’doptednottostylemyhair.Hell,Iwasjustplainhappy.

“Carefulnow,duchess.Ifyousmileanyharder,Imightgoandthinkyou’re

actuallyenjoyingyourself.”

Theplayfuledgetohisvoicewasaddictive.Afteronlyashortcoupleofdays,

Icouldalreadyfeelmyselffallingforhischarms.

Alittlewhilelater,wefinallystoppedinfrontofthedistilleryandclimbed

out,stretchingourlegs.

“Youwannaseewherethemagichappens?”Lukeasked.

Irolledmyeyes,followinghimtowardthebuildingthatwasrustic,butcute.

“WhydoIfeellikethat’sacheesypickuplineyou’veusedathousandtimesto

seduceathousandgirls?”

Hehaltedinhistracksandturnedtofaceme.“Therearetwothingsyouneed

toknow.First,thisisn’tsomeploytogetyouintobed.Iwasseriousabout

wantingyourhelp.”

Inodded.“Andthesecond?”

“Therehaven’tbeenathousandwomen.”Andthenhesmiled.“Maybeonly

ninehundredorso.”

Thetingeofsomethingdarkerinhisgazetoldmehehadastoryinhispastthat

heusedhumortohide,maybesomethingjustasdeepandpainfulasmyown.ButI

didn’twanttothinkaboutallthatjustnow,soIgrinnedbackathimandfollowed

himinside.

Ittookamomentformyeyestoadjusttothedimlighting.Itwaswarmand

remindedmeofabreadfactory—humidandwithayeastysmellhangingintheair.

Bigwoodenvatsandhugecoppercanistersbubbledwiththefermentedsugars

fromryeandcorn.

Lukepointedthingsouttomeaswemadeourwaythrough.Ididn’tknow

anythingaboutwhiskeyorbourbon,butitwascooltohearhimtalkabout

somethinghewaspassionateabout.Andhewasclearlypassionateaboutwhiskey,

ormaybehewasjustemotionalabouthisfamilybusiness.Whenhespokeabout

theagingandbottlingprocess,hebecameanimated,usinghishandstotalk,and

watchedmewithasmiletomakesureIwaskeepingup.

“Thisplaceisgreat,Luke.Icanseewhyyou’resoproudofit.”

“Gladyouapprove,duchess.”

Afterpassingthroughanagingroomfilledwithoakbarrels,Lukeledmeto

whathecalledhistastingroom.Chocolate-brownvelvetarmchairsandarustic

woodentablesatinthecenteroftheroom.Abottleofwhiskeywithatrayof

rocksglasseswaswaitingforus.Theroomwastastefullydecoratedinrich,

masculinecolors.Ablack-and-whitephotographofaTexaslonghornhungonone

wall,andtheotherwallwasfilledwithwindowsoverlookingthepastures.

“Careforataste?”Lukemotionedformetositashepickedupthebottle.

I’donlyjustfinishedmycoffee,andnowweweregoingtodrinkwhiskey?

“Maybejustasip.It’searly.”

Henoddedandpouredasplashintoeachofourglasses.

Isniffedattheliquor,watchinghimovertherimofmyglass.I’dhadWilder

whiskeylastnight,butthatwasafterseveralcocktails.“WhatshouldIbelooking

for?Anytips?”

Heliftedhisglass,inspectingit.“Deepgoldencolor.Intensearoma.Hintsof

smokycaramelwithasweetmaplefinish.”Hedownedthecontentsinone

swallow,hisfulllipshoveringseductivelyontherimoftheglass.“Thecharred

oakbarrelsareusedonlyonce.Eachoneisatinybitunique,andtheyflavorthe

finalproduct.”

Itookaswallow,thenlickedmylips.“Smooth.”

Henodded.“It’sgoodforsipping.”

Settingmyglassdown,IturnedtofaceLuke,myinterestinthisplacepiqued.

“Doyouoffertastingshere?”

Heshookhishead.“We’renotopentothepublic.”

“Youshouldreallyconsiderit,playupthelocalangle.Youneedtoadvertise

thateachbottlewashandmaderighthere.Peopleeatthatstuffup.”

Heopenedhismouthlikehewantedtoarguesomepointwithme,thenthought

betterofit.

“ThoughtIheardvoices.”Dukestrolledintothetastingroomandjoinedus.

“Breakingyourownrules,Isee,”hesaidtoLuke.

“Littlebrother.”LuketippedhisheadtowardDuke.“Youneedsomething?”

Dukeshookhisheadandthenreachedformyhand,liftingittohismouthfora

quickkiss.“Shametoseeyougetmixedupwiththeriffraff.”

“I’llbecareful.Ipromise.”

Duketuggedhisballcaploweroverhiseyesandshotmeasoul-filledlookas

heturnedaway.“I’vegotworktodo.Youtwobegood,”hecalledoverhis

shoulder.

Oncehewasgone,Itookanothersipofmywhiskey,watchingLukeoverthe

rimofmyglass.“Whatdidhemeanaboutbreakingyourrules?”

Hewasquietforamoment,andIthoughthewasn’tgoingtotellme.Itwould

haveservedmerightbecauseofthemonumentalsecretIwaskeepingfromhim.A

secretthatwasstartingtoknawatme.

“Wemadeapactalongtimeago.Thetastingroomis‘nogirlsallowed.’”

“Oh.”Ishiftedinmyseat,wonderingwhythatrulewasinstitutedandwhatit

meantthatIwassittinghere.

“ItwasstartedtokeepMollyout,butthenitjustbecamemore.Likethiswas

ourplace—aspotforDukeandmetotalkbusiness,andtogetawayfrom

everythingelse.”

Inodded.Iunderstoodthat.GrowingupthewayIdid,Icherishedmydown

time.Itwasn’tuncommonformetosneakoutofanimportantfamilyfunctionatmy

father’scountryclubtogohangoutinthekitchenorthecoatroomwiththestaff.

Theywerealwayswaymorefun.ItwasoftentheonlychanceIgottoletmyhair

downandrelax.

“Idon’tmeantopry,butyousaidsomethingearlieraboutyourdadleaving

youthisplace.”Readingbetweenthelines,Iwasassuminghemeanthisdadhad

passed.

“There’snotmuchtotell.Aftermymomtookoff,hehadnothinglefttolivefor

anddrankhimselftoanearlydeath.”

Iblinked,surprisedbyLuke’sbrutalhonesty.“I’msorry.”

“Don’tbe.”Heshrugged.“Itwasalongtimeago.”

“So,yourmomis...”

“SheleftwhenIwasseven,buttobehonest,shewasgonealongtimebefore

that,emotionally.Itwasnosecretthatshehatedithere.Whenshecouldn’ttakeit

anymore,shetookoffforcitylife.Gotremarriedandhadawholeotherfamily,

lastIheard.”

Iswallowed.Thatwouldhavebeentoughforalittlekidtohandle.Nowonder

Lukewassohardened.Hissteelyexteriorwasinplaceforareason—mostlikely

adefensemechanismsohecouldn’tgettooclosetosomeonewhomightabandon

himeveragain.

“Well,forwhatit’sworth,thanksforbringingmeheretoday.”

“I’mgladyougottoseeit.Doyouthinkyoucanhelp?”

“IknowIcan.”

Mymindwasalreadybuzzingwithideas.Openingtothepublictooffer

tastingsandfoodpairingsandseasonalgiftswasonlythebeginning.Icould

envisioneventslikeweddingsandbanquetsunderthegazebobythepond.The

excitementofbuildingabrandlikethisfromscratchwasintoxicating.

Lukerosetohisfeet.“I’vegotsomee-mailstocatchuponandaconference

callwithadistributor,butmaybewecantalkaboutyourideaslater?”

“Absolutely.Ijustneedaquietplacetowork,andapenandapad.I’mgoing

todraftupanentiremarketingstrategyforyou.”

Luke’seyeswidenedslightly.“Ifit’stoomuchtroubleortoomuchtoask,I

understand—”

Iraisedahand,cuttinghimoff.“Honestly,whatelseamIgoingtodo?Sit

aroundandstareatthephone,waitingforWaynetocall?”

“Fairenough.Comeon.I’llsetyouupatmyfavoritespottobrainstorm.”

Ifollowedhimbacktotheside-by-side.Whenwereachedhishouse,Lukeled

meupthefrontstepsofhiswidefrontporchandstretchedouthisarms.

“Thissuityouokay?”

Therewerewoodenarmchairswithfluffycream-coloredcushions,anda

pottedfernontheoutdoorcoffeetable.

“Thisisperfect.”

“Letmegetyouthatpenandpaper.”

LukeheadedinsidewhileIloweredmyselfintoachairtowaitforhim.When

hereturned,hehandedmeapadofpaper,acoupleofpens,aglassoficedtea,

andablueberrymuffin.

“Mollymadethosethismorning.”

“Thanks.Ishouldbeallset.”

“I’llcheckonyouinacoupleofhours.Ifyouneedsomethingorwantmeto

takeyoubacktotheinn,justtextme.”

“I’llbefine.”

Sittinginsidethelittlehotelroomattheinnheldnoappeal.Ididn’twantto

admitittoLuke,butIlovedthethoughtofworkinghereinsteadofastuffyoffice.I

couldseemyselfdoingsomegoodworkhere.Makingarealdifferenceintheir

business.

Thesweet,freshairfragrancedwithlilacsandthewarmbreezeonmyskin

wereawelcometreat.Wedidn’thavequiet,relaxingplaceslikethisbackhome.

AlthoughI’dmissedalltheconveniencesofthecityoverthepastfewdays,inthis

moment,therewasnoplaceI’dratherbe.

Therealizationwaslikeafreighttrainroaringthroughmychest.Atfirst,all

I’dwantedwastofleethissmalltown,andnowIsuddenlyfoundmyselfhoping

forafewmoredayshere.

•••

Afewhourslater,Ishiftedinmyseat.MystomachremindedmethatI’dworked

throughlunch,andmybladderpipeduptoremindmeoftheicedteaI’ddowned

hoursago.

Risingtomyfeet,Istretchedandcontemplatedwhattodo.TextLuke?Ask

himtotakemehome?Sneakinginsidetofindabathroomwonout.

“Luke?”Iopenedthefrontdoorandletmyselfinside.

AnoakstaircaseoffthefoyerwasaboutallIcouldsee.Icontinuedpastit

towardwhatIassumedwasthekitchenandcalledhisnameagain.

“Hey.Inhere.”

IturnedandsawLukestandinginthedoorwayofhisoffice,aroomoffthe

diningroomthatheldalargeoakdeskandseveraltallbookcases.

“I’msorrytobargein,butcanIuseyourbathroom?”

“Ofcourse.Downthehallontheright.”

Ihurriedpasthim,andonceI’ddonemybusiness,Ifoundhimontheporch,

flippingthroughthenotebookI’dleftonthecoffeetable.

“Hey,givemethat.Nopeeking.”

Igrabbeditfromhim,alittleself-consciousaboutmymessychickenscratch

andrandomnotes.Hehandedoverthenotepadwithoutafight,butsteppedcloser

untilwewerestandingjustinchesapart.

Lukehadbeensoopentoday,sharingapieceofhispastwithmeandletting

meintohislife.Itwasunexpected.Andworkingupamarketingplanallday

meantIdidn’thavetimetodwellonmyownissues—forwhichIwasincredibly

grateful.

Ashegazeddownatme,hiseyeswentsoft.Iwetmylowerlip,surehewas

abouttokissme,butthesoundofacardrivingupmademestepback.

“Hey!”Mollyclimbedoutofhercarandreachedforagrocerybag.“Fancy

seeingyouhere!”

ChapterSeven

Luke

Mysister’stimingsucked.Hadforyears.Thebrathadtheaudacitytobeborn

duringourLittleLeaguechampionshipgame,abruptlystealingmythunderwhenI

hitmyfirsthomerun.

Keepingupherperfectrecord,MollyhadjustinterruptedakissthatI’dbeen

workingfor—andthinkingabout—allafternoon.Andnowshehadthenerveto

beamatusasshejoinedusontheporch.

“Stayfordinner,”MollyinsistedwhenCharlottesaidshe’dbettergetgoing.

InoddedwhenCharlottelookedinmydirection,gaugingmyreaction.Ifshe

stayed,Imightgetanotherchanceatthatkiss.

“I’mgrillingfish,”Mollytoldher,andaddedwithawink,“Healthy.”

Charlottesmiled.“Ireallyhavenochoicethen,doI.”

“No,ma’am.”Mollypulledopenthescreendoor,glowinginhertriumph.“It

willbereadyinfifteen.”

“Shemusthavebeenplanningthis,”ItoldCharlotteinalowvoiceoncewe

werealoneagain.“Shesaidearlierwewereeatingspaghettitonight.”

“It’ssweet.”

“That’sMolly.Sweet.”Ishookmyhead.“Notatallmanipulative.”

Charlottelaughed.“That’sastrongword.”

Itwasn’tthefirsttimethatdayshe’dletoutthatlaugh,soeasyandnatural.IfI

didn’tknowanybetter,I’dthinksheactuallylikedthisplace,andmyfamily.Me,

even.Afterthewaythingsgotheatedlastnight,Iwasn’tsureifwe’dbeableto

getbacktofriendly,butherewewere.

“She’sjusttryingtobewelcoming,”Charlottesaid.

“Mm-hmm.”

KnowingMolly’sgame,Iwasskeptical.GetCharlottetostay,andmaybeher

brother’smoodwouldimprove.Asmuchasmysister’stricksusuallyannoyed

me,IwashappythatCharlottehadagreedtostay.

Charlotteglancedaway.“Icangoifyoudon’twantmetostay.”

“No,no...it’snotthat.I...”Istammeredthroughmysentencelikeateenage

boybeforeIrememberedthatIwasagrown-assman,amanwhoknewwhathe

wanted.Charlottewaslookingmeintheeye,waitingforsomethingintelligibleto

comeoutofmymouth,andIneededtomanup.“Iwantyoutostay.”

Fordinner.Forthenight.Maybelonger.

ButIwouldn’tsaythat.Notoutloud.Shewasonlyhereforashorttime,andI

hadtogetmyheadwrappedaroundthat.Ihadn’texpectedthewayshe’ddivedin

today,askingquestionsaboutmybusinessandwantingtohelpcraftamarketing

strategy.ItsoundedawfulnowthatIknewCharlotte,butwhenIfirstsawher,I’d

assumedshewasthekindofgirlwhowasallergictohardwork.Shejustkept

surprisingme.

“Yousure?”

“Positive.”

“Good.”

•••

BythetimeCharlotteandIwereseatedatthetableonthepatio,thesunwas

setting.Itwasmyfavoritetimeofday.Seeingthewide-openTexasskypaintedin

orangeandpinkalwayshadacalmingeffectonme.

Dukecameinfromwhateveritwasthathedidallday.I’dlearnedtostop

askingalongtimeago.AslongasheshowedupwhenandwhereIneededhis

help,Icouldn’thavegivenarat’sassaboutwhat—orwho—hewasdoing.

“Charlotte,howniceofyoutograceuswithyourpresence,”heteasedashe

joinedus.“NoteverydaywegettodinewithasophisticatedNewYorker.”

“Iconsideritcharitywork,”shesaidwithasmirkashesatdownacrossfrom

her.“Small-townoutreachprogram,helpingtogetthedelinquentsbackonthe

rightpath.”Shetiltedherheadasshejokedwithhim.Thefewremainingraysof

sunlightcaughtherhairandmadeitglow,givingheranangelicappearance.

“You’rearealballbuster,youknowthat,”Dukesaidwithachuckle.“Ilike

it.”

SodidI.BesidesthefactthatCharlottewasinsanelygorgeous,shewas

incrediblysmartandwitty.I’dnevermetawomanlikeher.ThegirlsI’ddated

beforewerejustthat...girls.Charlottewasawoman.Polished,educated,well

spoken.Sheknewhowtostandherground,whichmightjustbethesexiestthing

abouther.

“So,smarty-pants,”Dukesaidtoher.“Youcomeupwithamarketingplanfor

thedistilleryyet?”

Shenodded.“Workingonit.I’mthinkingwesellthelifestyleasopposedto

justthewhiskey.”

“Andintermsadelinquentlikemecouldunderstand?”Dukeasked.

“Small-town,simple,laidback,”shesaid.“Ithinkpeoplewouldeatitup.

Especiallycitypeople.Youdon’tknowhowmanytimesI’veheardsomeonefrom

NewYorksaytheywishedtheycouldjustleaveitallbehind.”

Itoccurredtometoaskifthat’swhatshewasdoing,butItampeddownthe

notion.Gettinganymoreinvestedinhersituation—herrunningawayfromNew

York—wasthelastthingIneededtodo.Thiswasabusinessarrangement.The

possibilityofgettingalittlemorefromherwasabonus.Anythingthathappened

physicallybetweenusneededtobejustthat.Linesneededtobedrawninthe

sand,bothformysakeandhers.Keepitsimple,stupid.

“Iloveit,”Mollychimedinasshebroughtthefoodtothetable.“Welovethis

place.Everyoneelseshouldtoo.”

“Iagree,”Charlottesaid.

“YouthinkpeoplearereallyinterestedinaplacelikeShadyGrove?”Iasked.

“Imean,Ithinkit’sgreat,butit’snotlikethey’reclamoringtocomevisit.”

“Theywillbe,”Charlottesaidwithconfidence.“Ithinkthefirstthingweneed

todo,besidesgetallofyoursocialmediaaccountsuptopar,issetupanevent.

Sortofanofficiallaunchofthebrand.”

Dukegrinned.“Iloveparties.”

Ikickedhimunderthetable,keepingmyfocusonCharlotte.“Andwhere

exactlywereyouthinking?”

“Here,”shesaidmatter-of-factly.

“Idon’tknowaboutthat—”

“It’sperfect,”shesaid.“Peopleneedtoseethisplace,needtoseethe

distillery.Theyneedtomeetthefamilybehindthewhiskey.”

Themerethoughtofitmademeitch,andIscowledather.“Idon’twanta

bunchofstrangerstraipsingaroundtheproperty.Welivehere,youknow.It’snota

goddamnroadsideattraction.”

“Luke.”Mollyglaredatme.“Youwanttosellallthosebarrels,right?”

“Yeah,man,”Dukesaid,addingtothecurrentpileuponme.“Youwanteda

marketingguru.Nowyouneedtolistentoher.”

“Idon’tknow...”Itdidn’tsitwellwithme,buttheywereright.Ihadasked

Charlottetocomeupwithideastohelpusmakemoney.Ifthiswasherplan,I

neededtohearitout.“Iguesswecouldgiveitatry.”

MybrotherandsistergrinnedateachotherasCharlotteleanedoverand

placedakissonmycheek.Thepleasedlookonherfacewasenoughtoknock

downmyresolvealittle,andtheunexpectedfeelofherlipsonmyskinblasted

therestofthewaythrough.

IwasfuckedwithacapitalF.

ChapterEight

Charlotte

“Mornin’,thisisMaggie.CanIhelpyou?”thevoicedrawledthroughthephone.

“Hi,thisisCharlotteFreemont.I’mcallingabout—”

“TheAudi.Yup.LetmeputWayneon.”

Sittingdownonthebed,Ipluckedapieceoflintoffthefluffydowncomforter

whileIwaited.

“ThisisWayne.”Hisnormallygruffvoicecameoutsoundingapologetic.

“Listen,sweetheart,Ihatetotellyouthis,butIranyourcar’sdiagnosticsthrough

thecomputer,andyou’vegotabiggerproblemthanIfirstthought.”

Ilistenedasheexplainedthatsomeconverterswitchwasmalfunctioning,and

thatitwasgoingtoaddanextradayortwoandsomemoneytotherepairwork.

“Okay,gotit.”

“That’s...that’sit?”heasked.

“Yeah.Justletmeknowwhenyou’rethrough.Iappreciatethis,Wayne.”

“Ofcourse,sweetheart.I’llbeintouch.”

Ishouldhavebeenannoyed,shouldhavefelttrappedandisolated,butIfelt

anythingbut.Itwascrazy,butpartofmewasexcitedattheideaofspendingafew

moredayshere.

IdialedValentinanext,whoansweredwithoutevenahello.

“Charlotte,tellmeyou’reonyourway.I’mfreakingout.”

“Hellotoyoutoo.”Ichuckled.

“Ugh,what’shappening?You’renotstillstranded,areyou?”

“I’mstillhere,yeah.”

“WhoseassdoIneedtokick?I’llcallthemechanicmyself.Justtellmewhere

youare.”

“No,it’sfine,Val.”Itwasweird,butthedesiretokeepthisplaceasecret

flaredinsideme.ItwaslikeifIcouldshielditfromtheoutsideworld,Icould

stayhereinpeaceforafewmoredays.

SheletoutahuffoffrustrationandcursedinSpanish.

Wespentthenextfewminutescatchinguponeverythinggoingonbackhome,

intherealworld,anditwasweird.Normally,I’deatupthiskindofconversation.

GossipingwithValentinawaspracticallyanOlympicsport,oneIexcelledat,but

todayIwasonlyhalflistening.

“Justacouplemoredays.I’llseeyousoon,”Isaid,finallyendingthecall.

Assoonaswehungup,myphonerangagain.ItwasMolly.

“Hi,Charlotte.Iwaswonderingifyou’dwanttohavelunchwithmetoday?”

Mygazedriftedtotheclockbesidemybed.Ihadalldaytokill.“Sure.What

time?”

“I’llmeetyouattheGardenofEatin’inthirtyminutes.”

IpickedupmypurseandslippedintomynudeToriButchflatsbeforeheading

downstairstoaskOpalhowtogettotherestaurant.Itturnedoutitwasonlythree

blocksaway,soI’dgetinalittlemiddaysunshineandabriefwalk.Mytimehere

wasstartingtofeelmorelikeavacationthanadeathsentence.

Thecaféwascozychicwithrusticlittlewhite-paintedtablesandmismatched

chairs.Ithadcharacter,andthemenuwasjustaseclectic.Everythingfrom

chickenandwafflestogrits(whateverthosewere)tospinachsaladwithfresh

goatcheese.MaggieandIweresoonseatedatatableinfrontofthebigfront

windows,eachhavingfoundsomethingonthemenutoourliking.

“Thanksformeetingme.”Mollytastedhericedtea,thentoreopenapacketof

sweeteneranddumpeditin.

“Ofcourse.NotlikeIhadanythingbettertodo.Waynethinksit’llbeanother

coupleofdays.”Whenhermouthpuckeredatthat,Ishookmyhead.“I’msorry,

thatcameoutwrong.Everyone’sbeensowelcomingsinceI’vebeenhere.”

“Lukehasbeenmore‘welcoming’thanI’veseenhimwithanewcomerina

longtime.”

IthoughtMollymightgivemeasaucywinkorasmilewiththatcomment,but

herexpressionremainedserious.Shetastedhericedteaagainandfounditmore

toherlikingbeforeshecontinued.

“Listen,Ithinkit’sgreatyou’reinterestedinmybrother,butIthinktherearea

fewthingsyoushouldknow.”

Ah.Therealreasonsheaskedmetolunch.“Okay.”

“Lukeactstough,andheis,buthe’sbeenhurtbefore.He’sbeenthroughalot;

weallhave.Ijustdon’twanttoseehimgetleftbehindagain.”

Igotthesensethatshewasn’ttalkingabouttheirmother’sleavingtown.My

mindchurnedwithpossibilities,andmycuriositywastoostrongtotrytobe

polite.

Screwthat.Ifanyonewouldknow,Mollywould,soifIhadtopumpherfor

information,Iwould.

“Hashebeeninaseriousrelationshipbefore?”Iaskedpoint-blank.

Mollyfocusedonhersaladlikeitwasthemostinterestingthingshe’dseenall

day.“Hehas.Butthat’snotmyplacetotell.”Shethenlookedupandsmiledatme

assheturnedtheconversationtosaferground.

Iwasdyingtopush,butsmiledbackandletherhaveherway.Our

conversationleftmewithmorequestionsthananswers.

ChapterNine

Luke

IfIdidn’tknowanybetter,IwouldsaythatCharlotteFreemontwasreallystarting

tolikeShadyGrove.Themomentshecamebouncingthroughthedoorofthebar

withmysister,herfacelitupwhenshesawthecrowd.ItwasThursdaynightand

theDrunkSkunkwaspacked—packedwithwanderingeyesthatfollowed

Charlotte’severymoveasshewalkedmyway.

Igotit,though.Shewasgorgeousandhadanauraofmysterysurroundingher

thatdrewtheattentionofeveryhot-bloodedmanintheroom.Ihatedeveryoneof

thosemotherfuckerslookingather.

Eyesoffmygirl.

Mygirl?TherewasathoughtIdidn’thaveeveryday.LasttimeI’dwanteda

girltobemine,I’dendedupgettingmyhearttorntoshreds.Ineededtobecareful

whenitcametoCharlotte.Ibarelyknewher,butsomehowmysubconsciouswas

stakingclaim.AndI’dhadjustenoughtodrinktorollwithit.

“Evening,duchess,”Isaid,slidinganarmaroundherwaistwhenshewas

closeenough.Asubtlevibrationjoltedthroughherasourbodiespressedagainst

eachother.Shemeldedagainstmelikeitwasrightwhereshebelonged.

“Hellothere.”Shelookedupatme,herbigblueeyescrystalclearand

sparklingwithexcitement.“Howwasyourday?”

“Betternow.Yours?”

“Same,”shesaid,bitingatherbottomlip.

Thecrowdaroundusseemedtofadeaway,leavingjustthetwoofus.Ithad

beenafewdayssinceourlastkiss,andIhadn’tbeenabletostopthinkingabout

it.Thewayshe’dtasted.Thesoftmoanssheletout.Thewayherbodyreacted

undermytouch.Evenwhenweweretalkingbusiness,thethoughtsofravagingher

werealwaysthere.

Tonightwasthenightitwasgoingtohappen,comehellorhighwater.

“Youlookgoodenoughtoeat,”Isaid,lovingthewayherhairwasloosely

curledandhermakeupwasjustenoughtoaccentuateeverybeautifulfeatureofher

face.Theuppercurvesofherfantasticallyperfecttitswerepeekingoutfromher

V-neckshirt.Takingabiteofherwasgoingtobefun.IwetmylipsasIranahand

overherwaist.

“Ithoughtyoutwohatedeachother,”Dukesaidwithagrin,drawingour

attention.

“Thingschange.”Iglaredathim,needingmybrother’scommentslikeIneeded

aholeinthehead.

“Yeah,IthinkIkindoflikehimnow.”Charlotterestedherheadagainstmy

chestandgaveDukeashrug.

“Giveitafewdays.It’llwearoff,”Duketoldher,earningaslaponthe

shoulderfromme.

“Thanks,buddy.”IturnedmyattentionbacktoCharlotte.“Youwanttoeat?

Dance?Haveadrink?”Iranthroughthelistofoptionsforthenight,hopingthe

lust-filledlookinhereyesmeantshewasthinkingthesamethingIwas,which

wasnoneoftheabove.

“Maybeyoutwoneedtojustgetaroom,”Mollysuggested,breakingthetrance

thatlinkedthetwoofus.

“Itried.”Charlottechuckled.“Yourbrotheristoomuchofagentleman.”

“Idon’thavetobe,”Iwhisperedinherearwithagrowl.

Herbodytensed,andIcouldpracticallyheartheexcitedthumpofherheart.

We’dtiptoedaroundthissexualtensionforlongenough.JustbecauseI’dended

ourfirstnightbynotjumpingintobedwithherdidn’tmeanIwasgoingtodothe

samethingnow.Mycockhadbeenbeggingfordays,andIwasreadytodo

somethingaboutit.

“Wanttogetoutofhere?”Iasked.

ShegavemeasubtlenodandasmileasIlacedmyfingersthroughhers.The

feelofherpetitehandinminewasanaturalfit,whichaddedfueltothefire

alreadybuildinginsideme.

“Asmuchfunasthisplaceis,we’vegottogo,”ItoldDukeandMolly.

“Havefun,youtwo,”DukeshoutedoverthemusicasIledCharlottethrough

thecrowdtowardtheexit.

Assoonaswewereoutside,Ipulledherintomyarmsandgavehertheproper

greetingthatshedeserved.Mylipsfoundhersinaninstant.Mytonguegreedily

slippedintohermouthasIheldherclose.OnceIknewI’dleftherbreathless,I

resumedthehand-holdingandledhertomytruck.

“What’sgottenintoyou?”sheaskedwithalaughasIopenedthepassenger

doorforher.

“DecidedIwasdonewastingtime,duchess,”Irepliedwithasmirk.“Too

much?Toofast?”

“No,Ilikeit.”Shepressedherbodyagainstmineassheliftedonefootonto

therunningboardandstoodonthetiptoesoftheother.“Amanwhoknowswhat

hewantsisalwayssexy,”sheaddedasshepressedherlipssoftlyagainstmy

cheek.

Theangleofherbodygavemetheperfectopportunitytoshowherexactly

whatIwanted.Loopinganarmaroundherwaist,Ipressedthesteelofmycock

againsthercenter.ShemoanedatthecontactasIputmylipsonhers.Icouldfeel

theheatradiatingfromherandnearlycameonthespot.

I’dbeenthinkingalldayaboutwhereIwantedtotakeCharlottetonight.I

brokeourkissandcarefullyshutherinsidethetruck.Onemoresecondofher

temptation,andourfirsttimewasgoingtobeintheparkinglotoftheDrunk

Skunk.

“Whereareyoutakingme?”sheaskedwhenIsituatedmyselfbehindthe

wheelandstartedtheengine.

“Anywhereyouwanttogo.”

Itookherhandanddrewittomymouth,pressingmylipsagainstthebackofit

asmyeyesfoundhers.Darkcurlsframedherface,andherlipspartedasshetook

inasoftbreath.Mylibidowasinoverdrive,seriouslyblurringtherealityofwhat

washappeningbetweenus.

“Tothemoonthen,”shesaidwithagrin.

“Yougotit.”Ipulledoutoftheparkinglotandheadedtothemostromantic

spotIknew.

•••

“Isthisplaceforreal?”sheaskedwhenwearrivedatourdestination.Themoon

lookedcloseenoughtotouchasitgleamedfullandbrightintheinkysky.

Charlottequicklyhoppedoutofthetrucktotakeinoursurroundings.Agentle

breezepickedup,stirringthetopsofthetreesthatringedtheopenfield.There

wereplacesoutinthemiddleofnowherethatwerelikeheavenonearth,andthis

wasoneofthem.

“It’sreal.”

Iwalkedupbehindherandwrappedmyarmsaroundherwaist.Thegrassy

hilltopwewerestandingonwasatthefaredgeofourproperty,aplaceIwas

alwaysdrawntowhenIneededsomealonetime.Andalonetimewasexactly

whatIwantedrightnowwithCharlotte.Nointerruptions.Justpeaceandquiet—

andher.

“Seethatspeckoflightoverthere,”Isaid,pointingacrosstheway.“That’sthe

house.Andoverthere...”Ipointedoutaribbonoflightsintheopposite

direction.“That’sShadyGrove.”

“Thisisbeautiful.”Shesettledintomyarmswithasigh.“It’ssopeaceful.”

“It’sagoodplacetothink.Iloveitouthere.”AsIspoke,tallgrassesswayed,

stirredbythebreeze,andmillionsofstarsshimmeredoverhead.Ittrulywas

magicalhere.

“Metoo.”Shelookedoverhershoulderatme.“Thankyouforbringingme.”

“Imayhavehadsomeulteriormotives.”Idroppedaquickkissonherlips

beforeheadingtothetruckfortheblanketI’dthrowninearlier.Ireturnedtoher

sideandspreaditoutonthegrass.“Thisisagoodspotformorethanjust

thinking.”

“Apicnic?”sheteased.

“Yep.”Icrouchedtotakeaseatandtuggedherbythehandintomylap.

“Guesswho’sonthemenu?”

Ididn’tgivehertimetorespond.Instead,Icapturedhermouthwithmineand

letmykissanswerthequestionforher.

Ourmake-outsessionturnedintomorewhenCharlotteclimbedoffmylapand

layontheblanket,tuggingmebytheshirtontopofher.Thehorizontalpositionwe

foundourselvesinwasgivingmeallkindsofideas,especiallywhenshespread

herlegsandletmeslipmyhipsbetweenthem.Sheliftedslightly,diggingher

heelsintotheground,increasingthefrictionbetweenus.

EverytimeImovedagainsther,sheletoutraggedlittlewhimpers.

“Youtryingtokillme?”Isaid,feelinglikeIwasabouttoburstattheseams.

“Notyet.There’ssomethingI’dlikefirst.”Shereachedbetweenusand

palmedthebulgebetweenmylegs.Herslenderfingersgrippedmethroughthe

denim,anddamn,diditfeelgood.

“Yousureaboutthis?”Isatbackonmyheels.

Shegavemeasexylittlesmirk.“Areyou?”

“I’mserious,Charlotte.”AndIwas.Ididn’twanthertodosomethingshewas

goingtoregret.Thisnightcouldchangealotforus.“Westillhavetowork

together,andIknowyou’llbeleavingsoon.Ijustwanttomakesure—”

“IknowwhatIwant,Luke.Iwantyou.”Shesatupandquicklytuggedhershirt

overherheadbeforetossingitontheblanketnexttous.“Idon’twanttothink

aboutanythingelserightnow.”

“Okay,”Isaid,neveronetosecond-guessawomanwhosemindwasmadeup.

Charlottelikedtoremindmedailythatshewasanindependentwomanwho

madeherowndecisions.ThiswasonethatIwasn’tgoingtoquestion.Especially

whenIgotaglimpseofherinthatlacyscrapoffabricshecalledabra,andthe

matchingpantiesIfoundwhensheliftedherhipsandletmeslideherjeansoff.

“God,you’rebeautiful,”Isaid,droppingmylipstotheupperswellofher

breasts.

Ipulledmyshirtoff,wantingtofeelmyskinagainsthers.Hereyeswentwide

asIloweredmyselfontoher.Thefeelofherhandsonmychestwassearingasshe

smoothedthemoveritforthefirsttime.Asweexploredeachother’sbodies,I

committedthemomenttomemory.NotthatI’dbeabletoforgetitifItried.

Ipoppedthefrontclaspofherbraandfreedhertitsfromthelace.Herrosy

nipplestightened.Placingmylipsaroundoneandtuggingitslightlywithmyteeth,

Icaressedtheotherbetweenmyfingertips.

Shemoaned,pursingherlipstomufflethesoundsasIlavishedattentionon

oneandthentheother.Whenherbodyrockedagainstmineandmynamecameout

inawhisperofdesperation,IknewrightthenthatIneededtohearherscreamit

intothemoonlight.

“We’reinthemiddleofnowhere,baby,”Isaid,slippingmyhanddownthe

frontofherpantiesandfindingthewarm,wetheatIknewwouldbewaitingfor

me.Ideftlypartedherfoldsandfoundtheonespotthatwoulddriveherwild.

“Youbeasloudasyouwanttobe.”

Whensheletoutalittlewhimperofsatisfaction,Iswirledmythumboverthe

bundleofnerves,lovingthewayshetookadeepbreathandfrozeasIworkedher

achingflesh.

Asweetpinkblushspreadoverhercheeksasshewhispered,“Someonewill

hear.”

Ishookmyhead.“Rightnow,it’sonlyyouandme.Now,didyouwantmeto

suckonyourprettypinkclit?”

“Yes,”shemurmured,butshelookedtoocute,tooperfectlikethis,andI

wasn’twillingtogiveitupsoeasily.

Imadetomovemyhandawayfromher.“Idon’tthinkIheardyou.MaybeI

should—”

Shegrabbedmywristandguidedmebackbetweenherthighs.“Please.Don’t

stop.Iwantyou.Iwanttofeelyouthere.”

“Thenallyouneedtodoisscream.”

IofferedherwhatIhopedwasatantalizinggrin,thenguidedherbackagainst

theblanketanddroppedmylipstoherpert,rosynipplesagain.Takingoneinmy

mouth,Irolledthetipofmytonguearoundthepeak,mirroringthemoveofmy

thumbagainstherotherstrainingbud.

Sheletoutalittlegaspandcriedout,“Luke!”

Asareward,Ipushedonefingerinsideherandclosedmyeyesasherwalls

quakedaroundit.Anotherrushofbloodandneedsurgedtomycock,makingit

pulseagainstthecuttingzipperofmyjeans,butIignoredit.Rightnow,thiswas

allaboutCharlotte—hearingherscream,needinghertocallmyname.

Ipushedanotherfingerinsideandshejerkedagainstmymovement,urgingme

togivehermore.

“Yes,”shehissed.“Luke,yes.”

Isuckedharderonhernipple,knowingthatImightmarkherwithmyteeth,but

somehowthatthoughtmademeevenmorerock-hardthanbefore.Theideaof

watchinghertitsbouncewhileIfuckedherandlookingatthespotwhereI’d

claimedherasmine...

Fuck,Icouldn’tthinkofasinglethingsexierthanthat.

“Please,Iwanttofeelyou,Luke,”shecriedout.

Ipumpedmyfingersinandoutassherockedagainstmyhand.Herhipslifted

andwrithedasIworkedinsideher,andIsuckedharderagainstherskin,willing

myselftofocusonanythingotherthanhowgoodshefelt,howready.

Butitwasimpossible.Hereinthemoonlightwithallofnaturearoundus,she

wasprettierandmoreperfectthanIcouldhaveimagined.IfIdidn’tfreemycock

andfuckhersoon,Iwasgoingtoexplode.

Whenshebegged,“Luke,please,”Ireleasedhernipplewithalittlepopand

kissedmywaydownherstomach,rakingmynailsoverhersensitiveskinwithmy

freehand.Loweringmyselfdownherbody,Ipushedmyfingersevendeeper

insideasherchannelquakedandcrashedaroundme,thenpressedmylipstoher

prettypinkbud.

“Ohmy...”Thelastwordwasdrownedoutbyasharpgaspasmytongue

sweptouttoteaseher.

Gently,Iusedthetipofmytonguetodrawlittlefigureeightsoverher,andshe

wriggledbeneathmytouch,herhipsbuckingintomymouthasIfuckedherwith

myfingersoverandoveragain.

Iknewitwasn’tenough.Shewantedmore,wantedeverything.JustlikeIdid.

Buttonight,wewouldbothhavetowaitalittlelonger.

WhenIfinallygrippedmyselfandpushedinsideher,itwasgoingtobe

perfect.Almostasperfectasshelookedrighthereandnow.

ThemoonlightshoneonhercreamyskinasIlookedupather,meetinghergaze

asIlashedherbudagainwithmytongue.

“Ican’twaittoseewhatyoulooklikewhenyoucome,”Imurmured,andthen

suckedherclitgentlyassherockedintomeagain.“Doesyourmouthopenina

cutelittleo?”

“Doyouwantmetoshowyou?”Shegraspedtheblanketoneithersideofher,

andthewallsofherpussyquakedaroundmyfingersagain,harderandtighterthan

before.

“No,”Igroundout.“Iwanttofeelit.”

Thiswasthemoment—myoneshottogetitright.

Pullingmyfingersfromher,Isaid,“Keepgoing.”

Atmygruffcommand,shetookthelead,herdeftfingerscirclingherbudwhile

Imadequickworkofshovingdownmyboxersandpullingacondomovermy

shaft.WatchingherwasthesexiestthingI’deverseen.

“Hurry,”shebegged,andhereyessqueezedshut.“I’msoclose.”

Ipulledherpantiesasidebeforeshovingmyselfsodeepinsidethatherbreath

caught,andIwaspushedalmosttothebreakingpoint.Thathot,tightchannel

squeezedmesotightly,Iletoutagroan.

Allaroundme,sheshudderedwithpleasure.Herhandsreturnedtothe

blanket,tuggingatitasshewrithedagainstme.Itwasallsointense—thewarm

wetnessofherpussy,thestrainingacheofmycock,andmorethananythingelse,

thefierce,desperateneedformore.

Witheverylittleshiverofmovement,therewasaninstantofgratification,a

sliverofpleasure,butthathungergrewtoo,gnawingatmyinsidesandbeggingme

tolosecontrol.Iwanteddesperatelytofuckherharder,totakeherinmyarmsand

thrustsodeepandfast,shewouldn’tbeabletobreathe.

“Fuckyeah,baby.”Ileanedbackandgrabbedherthighs,watchingashertits

bouncedupanddownwitheverythrust.

Briefly,Iwonderedwhatitwouldlooklikeformetocomeonthoseperfect

titsofhers,mypearlyseedcoatinghercreamywhiteskin.

Thenhermouthdroppedintoalittleo,justasI’dhopeditwould,andIwasn’t

thinkinganythingatall.Sheshuddered,murmuringmynameunderherbreath.

Withanothershiverofpleasureatthesight,Igrippedherharderstilland

demanded,“Screamforme,duchess.”

Itdidn’ttakemuchconvincing.

“Luke!”shecried,andhervoiceechoedbacktousthroughthenightair.

“Luke!”

“Yes,baby,scream.”

“Fuckme,”shecried,andthatwasenoughtosendmeovertheedge.

Cuppingonebreast,Ipinchedhernippleasshebuckedandtrembledbeneath

me.God,shewasbeautiful,herperfectfacetensewithherneed,herbreastsilky

softinmyhand,andhertightcunthuggingmelikeafist.Theshiversofherorgasm

werestillrollingoverherasminecametothecliffandpausedattheedge.

AsIlookeddownatCharlotteinthemoonlight,mycockglossywithher

wetnessasIpushedandpulledourbodiestogether,itwasenoughtomakemy

ballsache,lockedandreadyfortakeoff.

Quickly,Ipulledherkneesuptomychestandtookherdeeper,closingmy

eyesasthewetwarmthofhersentashiverthroughmyveins,andmyclimaxbuilt.

Alow,deepgroanwasrippedfrommylipsasthegnawingpressureinmygut

intensified,thenloosenedandspreadthroughmybody,sendingfrissonsof

satisfactionthroughmeashotstreamsspurtedfrommyswollenlength.

Asthefinalwavesofpleasurecrasheddownoverme,Ihadonlyonethought.

Weneedtodothisagain...

Andagainandagain.

ChapterTen

Charlotte

Fridaymorning,IawokeinLuke’smassivefour-posterbed.Itsbluesheetswere

twistedanddisheveled,bearingtheevidenceofourlovemakingfromlastnight,

roundtwoonceweendeduphereafterleavingthatmagicalhilltop.

Hissideofthebedwasempty,andIcouldhearnoisesdownstairs.Stretching

leisurely,Inotedmybodyfelttenderandusedinallthebestways.Lukemade

lovewiththesamepassionandintensitythathelivedhislife—hewaswild,

strong,andabithotheaded.I’denjoyedmyselfimmenselylastnight.

Theselastfewdaysspentexploringeachother’sworldswerebetterthanI

couldhavedreamed.ThemostshockingrevelationwasthatI’dgottenatasteof

countrylifeandIdidn’thateit.Thepeople,thefood,thepace,thelifestyle—all

werethingsIwasn’tusedto.ButhereinShadyGrove,Iwaslearningtoslow

downandenjoyeachmoment,tosavoreachday.Asunexpectedasitwas,I

suspectedIwaslearningalifelessonintheprocess.

ButasmuchfunasI’dhadwithLuke,Ialreadyknewthatourflinghada

tickingclockattachedtoit.Eventually,thealarmwouldsoundanditwouldallbe

over—I’dgobacktomyworld,andhetohis.Alittlepangofguiltflaredinside

me—Ihadn’ttoldhimhowI’dendeduphere,orwhatIwasrunningfrom.Now

thatwe’dbeenintimate,Ifeltlikemyomissionhadbeenabald-facedlie.Butthen

again,maybeIdidn’thavetospillmygutsaboutthewholemessyaffair.Lukehad

apasttoo,andIdidn’tpryintothat.Irespectedhisboundaries.Maybewecould

bothkeepoursecretssafelyguardedandenjoythisforwhatitwas.

IshruggedonaT-shirtandmademywaydownstairs.Ahulkingmaleformwas

standingnearthecoffeemaker,dressedinnothingmorethanapairofwornjeans,

butwhenheturnedIsawitwasDuke.

Aslowsmileunfurledonhislips.“Comegivemesomesugar.”

Placingonehandonmyhip,Istoppednexttothecounter,grabbingacoffee

mugfromthestrainerbythesink.“I’montoyou,mister.”

Hechuckled.“Damn.Iwasjustabouttoapologizeformyperformancelast

night.”

“Iknowthedifferencebetweenamanwho’sfuckingwithmeandamanwho’s

actuallyfuckedme.Andyourbrotherdidarealgoodjob.Nicetry,Duke.”Ipatted

hishead.

Thetwinswerevirtuallyidenticalineveryway,fromtheirexpressivegreen

eyeswithflecksofgoldtotheirfullmouthsthatpulledeasilyandoftenintoa

smirk.Theywerebuiltexactlythesame—sixfeetofhardmuscle.

“YouandMollyaretheonlypeopleontheplanetwhocantellusapart.Even

ourownmothercouldn’tdoithalfthetime,”headded,stillgrinningatme.

Icouldn’tputmyfingeronexactlywhatitwas,butevenfromthatfirstday,I

couldtellwhowaswho.Itmightsoundlikenew-agenonsense,butmaybeitwas

theirauras.WhereDukewasallplayfulandmischievousenergy,Lukewasall

brooding,masculineintensity.Thesexystrangercapturedmyattentionfromthe

firstmomentIsawhim,eventhoughIneededamanlikeIneededanewLouis

Vuittonbag.

Afewminuteslater,LukemadehiswayintothekitchenandDukeexcused

himself,leavingusalone.

“Morning,”Lukemurmured,hisgazetravelingthelengthofmybarelegs.

“Comehere,”Itoldhim.“I’vegotsomethingtoshowyou.”

Ituggedhimtowardthekitchentable,andovercoffee,laidoutmymarketing

plan.Lukesatbackwithaslightgrinonhislips,listeningattentivelytoevery

word.

“I’mimpressedthatyousawstraightthroughDuke’sgame,”hesaid.

Mygazeflickeduptomeethis.“I’dnevermakethatmistakenowthat...”

“Nowthatwhat,duchess?I’vebeeninsideyou?”

Hisvoicewaslowandseductive,andahotshiverracedthroughme.Ilifted

mychin,waitingforthepressofhislipsagainstmine.

“I’mjustgettingstarted,”hewhispered,treatingmetoatenderkiss.

Lastnighthadbeenmagical.Makingloveunderthestars,andthewayLuke

tookcareofallmypleasurefirstbeforeseekinghisown.Itwasincredible.

Partofmewantedtopretendthatthiswasreal,buttheloomingendofmystay

herewasquicklyapproaching.AndthepastIwasontherunfrom...Well,Ihad

abadfeelingthatitwouldcatchuptomesoonerorlater.

“Icouldlistentoyoutalkbusinessallday,duchess.”

IgrinnedatLuke.“Good,becauseI’mjustgettingstartedtoo.”

ChapterEleven

Luke

IcouldhavelistenedtoCharlotterambleonalldaylongaboutsearch-engine

optimization,whateverthehellthatwas.Seeinghowpassionateshewasaboutthe

wholemarketingthingwasarealturn-on.She’dworkedontheplanwhileweate

pancakesthatmorning,andhadn’tletupsince.

ThatwasafterIcaughtmybrothertryingtopullafastoneonher.After

sneakingoutofbedforaquickshowerthatmorning,Iwentdowntothekitchen

andfoundherchattingwithDukewhilewearingoneofmyT-shirtslikea

nightgown.

Thenaturalnessofthesituationhadstoppedmeinmytracks.Herlong,toned

legspeekingoutfromtheshirtandhercutelittlebarefeetonthehardwoodfloor

wereasightIwouldn’thavemindedseeingeveryday,butthatwasn’twhatwe’d

agreedto.Whateverweweredoingherehadanexpirationdate,andIneededto

rememberthat.

I’dwaitedinthestairwelltoremindmyselfthatthiscouldn’tlastwhenIheard

themtalking.Dukewouldneveractuallymakeamoveonher—wehadabrocode

thatforbadeit.Iknewhewasjustseeinghowinvestedshewasinwhateveritwas

wehadgoingon.

ButwhenIheardhercallhimoutonnotbeingmefromtheget-go,thesqueeze

onmyheartwasunexpected.Andthestroketomyegowaslikeabalmtomysoul.

“Iknowthedifferencebetweenamanwho’sfuckingwithmeandaman

who’sactuallyfuckedme.Andyourbrotherdidarealgoodjob.”

I’dfuckedher,allright.Anditwasgoddamnspectacular.Icouldstillfeelthe

tightsqueezeofheraroundme.Justthinkingaboutthepasttwenty-fourhourshad

mereadytogoagain.IfIonlyhadCharlotteuntilhercarwasfixed,Iwasgoingto

makethemostofit.I’dlethereatandgetalittleworkinfirst,though.

“Theytaughtyouallofthisincollege?”Iasked,stoppingherinmid-sentence.

“Someofit,”shesaidwithagrin.“Marketingchangessomucheveryyear.

Everyday,even.AlotofitIpickedupalongthewayorlearnedonthefly.”

“I’mimpressed.”Iplacedmyhandonhers.

Theurgetosweepmyhandacrossthetable—clearingitdramaticallyofher

paperwork—wasstrong.I’dalreadyhadheronthegroundunderthestars,andin

mybed,soaddingatabletothelistseemedlikeamightyfineidea.

“Iactuallylearnedalotfromwatchingmyfather,”shesaid.

Well,thatabruptlyputthebrakesonthesexualnatureofmythoughts.Nothing

likethementionofdearoldDadtokillthemood.Inoddedandtoldmydickto

standdown.

“Notthathewouldeverknow,”sheadded,“orevenletmegetawordinathis

firm.”

“Whywouldn’thewantyoutobeapartofit?You’resmart,andlikeIsaid,

youknowyourshit.Plus,you’rehisdaughter.”

Shefrowned.“Dad’sfirmisarealboys’club.Idon’tthinkheeventookme

seriouslywhenImajoredinmarketing.Ispentalotoftimetryingtoimpresshim

andgainhisapproval.I’mdonewiththat,though.Hewasnevergoingtomake

roomformeatFreemontandAssociates.”

“That’sridiculous,”Itoldher,feelingoverprotective.Iknewalittlebitabout

parentsdisappointingyou.

Herdadsoundedlikeagrade-Aasshole,whichwentalongwaytoward

explainingwhyshewaspackedupandheadedforLA.Howonearthherfather

couldn’ttakeherseriouslywasbeyondme.Icouldseethefrustrationand

disappointmentinhereyes.Charlottemighthavebeentryingtoplayitcool,butI

couldseethewoundwasstillfresh.

“It’shisloss.”

“Andyourgain,Mr.Wilder,”shesaidplayfully.

“Isitever.”Iroseupenoughinmyseattoleanoverthetableandplantmylips

onhers.“Youtastelikemaplesyrup.”

WhenIflickedmytongueacrossherlips,sheliftedhereyebrows.“You

wannatakethatbottleuptoyourroomandhavealittlefun?”

“Thatsoundslikearealgoodidea.Butdidn’tyousaysomethingabout

needingtocheckinwithWayne?”

“Oh,yeah.”Shedeflatedalittle,lookingdisappointed.“Itotallyforgotabout

mycar.”

IwishedI’dforgotten.

ShepickedupherphonefromthetableasIsatbackdown.Afteraquick

swipeofherfingerandacoupleoftaps,sheputituptoherear.

“Hello,thisisCharlotteFreemont.IwascallingtotouchbasewithWayne

aboutmycar.”Therewasapauseasshelistened.“So,he’soutfortheday?”She

noddedacoupleoftimes.“Allrightthen.Thankyou.”

“Nogo?”Isaid,hopingtheanswerwasjustthat.

“Nogo.Apparently,there’ssomekindofgametonight,andhe’stakentheday

offtoprepare.”

Ofcourse.Tonightwasthefirstgameofthehighschoolfootballseason.

“Yeah,theStallionskickofftonightatseven.Wayne’skidisaseniorthisyear.

I’msurehe’sonthestartingroster.”

Shescratchedherheadandwrinkledhernose.ShehadnoideawhatIwas

talkingabout.

“ShadyGroveHighSchoolhastheirfirstgametonight,”Iexplained.

“Everyoneintowntreatsitasaholiday.Footballisabigdealaroundhere,ifyou

haven’tfiguredthatoutyet.”

“Iguessso.Youtakingmetothegametonight?”

“Youwanttogo?”

Iwassurprised,especiallywhenshehadn’tcomplainedaboutWayne’s

incompetenceorthefactthathercarstillwasn’tready.Andnowshewantedtogo

toafootballgamewithme?Thisgirlsureknewhowtokeepmeonmytoes.

“IthinkIdo.”Shenodded.“Whattimedoesitstart?”

“Seven.Thatgiveyouenoughtoprimp?”Iteased.

“Morethanenough.”

Sheslippedfromherseatandwalkedovertome.Whensheplantedher

perfectassonmylapandwrappedherarmsaroundmyneck,shehadmyfull

attention.

“Infact,”shesaidinalowvoice,“that’smorethanenoughtime.”

Sheranhermouthupmyjawlinebeforetakingthelobeofmyearbetweenher

lipsandsuckinggently.Iswallowedhardaseverydropofmybloodrushedsouth.

“Whydon’tyougrabthatbottleandmeetmeupstairs,Mr.Wilder.”

Thepurrofherwordshadmyheadspinning,butIwasn’tcompletely

dumbstruck.Whenshehoppedupoffmylapandstartedforthestairs,Igrabbed

thesyrupbottleandfollowedher.

Wehadafewhourstokillbeforekickoff,andenoughsyruptomakeeachof

themsweeterthanthelast.

•••

Theroarofthecrowdwasdeafening.TheStallionswereupbysix,butthe

opposingteamhadtheballwiththreeminutestogo.

Charlotteturnedwideeyesonme.“Thisisinsanity.”

“Iftheymakeittotheendzone,it’sgoingtobeevenworse,”Iwarned.

TheStallionswereheavyfavoritesthisyear,andlosingtheirfirstgamewould

havebeenahugeupset.Thecrowdwasscreamingouttheirdefensivechants,

remindingtheplayersonthefieldofthepressurethatwasonthem.

ThatwasonethingIdidn’tmissaboutplayingfootball—theconstantpressure

towin.

SomewherebetweenplayinginhighschoolandwhenIplayedincollege,the

funwentoutofthegameforme.Iwasn’tsadatallformyfootballcareertobe

over,andneitherwasmybody,whichhadbeenbatteredandbruisedthroughmy

entireadolescence.NotthatIcouldeversharethatwithanyoneinmyhometown.

Thatwasakintoblasphemyinafootballtown.Youeitherplayedfootball,or

wantedtobeplaying.

“Iwantoneofthosegiantpretzels,”Charlottesaid.“I’mgoingtogonow

whileeveryoneiswatchingthis.There’snoline.”

Ihadtolaughatherindifferencetothegame.Therewewereinthemiddleof

anail-biter,andshewantedapretzel.

“I’llgowithyou,”Isaid,takingherhandinmine.

“Yousure?Don’tyouwanttoseewhathappens?”

“I’mgood,”Itoldheraswestoodupandheadeddownthebleachers.“I’ve

seenenoughfootballgamestolastmealifetime.”

Aswewalkeddownthemetalsteps,shewrappedherfreehandaroundmy

armandpressedherselfagainstmyside.

“Isthishowhighschoolwasforyou?”sheasked.“Friday-nightlightsandall

that?”

“Yeah.DukeandIplayed.Weevenwenttocollegeonscholarship.”

“That’sawesome.”

“Itwasallright.”Ishrugged.“Paidforcollege.”

“Youmissit?Allthehype?Theattention?”

“Notreally.”Assoonasthewordswereoutofmymouth,Ihalfexpected

lightningtostrikemewhereIstood.

“Whataboutthecheerleaders?I’llbettheywerealloveryou.”

“Therewereafew,”Isaidwithachuckle.“Ihadsomegoodtimesunderneath

thesebleachers.”

“Isthatright?”

Asparkofjealousyflickeredinhereyes,andbeforeIcouldsayanotherword,

Charlottetuggedmeunderneaththebleachers,herpretzelforgotten.

HerlipswereonminebeforeIcouldevenregisterwhatwashappening.The

stompsandscreamscomingfromaboveusgrewlouderwitheachtickofthe

clock,butallIcoulddowasconcentrateonthebeautifulwomanpressingher

bodyagainstmine.Herlipsandtongueweredoingtheirdamnedesttoeraseany

memoriesofhighschoolmake-outsessionsunderthebleachersthatmighthave

beenlingeringinmyhead.

Anditwasworking.

IgrabbedoneofthemetalsupportrodsabovemyheadandsteadiedusasI

wrappedtheotherarmaroundherwaist.You’dthinkafterourmorningwiththe

maplesyrup,shewouldhavehadherfillofme,butherewewere,makingout

underthebleachersliketwosex-starvedteenagers.

“Youforgetaboutthemyet?”Shesmirkedatmewhenwefinallybrokeforair,

bothofustryingtocatchourbreath.

“Baby,theywereneverevenamemory.”Idroppedalastquickkissonher

lips.“Now,let’sgetthatpretzelandgetthehelloutofhere.”

ChapterTwelve

Charlotte

ThecrowdthunderedoverheadasLukegrabbedmyhand,pullingmetotheedge

ofthebleacherswherepeoplewerealreadypouringfromthestands.

“Shit,”hemumbled.“Gamemustbeover.”

“Doesthatmeantheconcessionstandisclosed?”

Helaughedwhenmystomachgrumbled.“Howisthatevenlouderthanthe

peoplearoundus?”

Ishrugged.“Specialtalent,Iguess.”

Lukeledmebythehandasweblendedintothecrowd,weavingthroughthe

massofpeopleheadingbacktotheircars.Hereandthere,Icaughtpeoplelooking

athimfromthecorneroftheireyes,theirexpressionshalf-adoring,half-confused

—probablybecausetheyweretryingtomakeoutwhichtwinhewas.

Ourearlierconversationaboutfootballcametomind.He’dreally

downplayedit,Iknew,butithadtobenosmallthingtogetafullridetocollege,

especiallyforaschoolashighprofileasA&M.Andinatownlikethis?Itwould

likelymakehimsomekindofgod.Still,hetookitinstride,smilingatthepeople

aroundhimandignoringtheirgrinsofapprovalandadoration.

“Whathappenedaftercollege?”Iaskedwhenwefinallymadeitthroughthe

thickofthecrowd.

Theconcessionstandwasjustinfrontofus,andLukepivotedtolookatme.

“What?”

“YousaidyouwenttoA&Mforcollege.Whatdidyoudoafterthat?Imean,

whatdidyoumajorin?Didyoualwayswanttorunthedistillery?”

Hisfacetwistedforaminute,butaswecametothefrontofthelittlesnack

shack,hesmiledandwavedatthegirlbehindthecounterwhowastossingoutthe

leftoverhotdogs.

“Jill,”hesaid.“Hey.”

Sheblinkedupathim,andwhensherealizedwhohewas,sheblushed.“Hey

there.”

“Gotanyleftoverpretzels,ordidyoutossthoseoutalready?”

Shenoddedandheadedforthecasewherefivegiantgolden-brownpretzels

twirledonasilverrack.Takingapapertissue,shegrabbedoneandhelditoutfor

him.

“Hellofagame,”shesaid.“Almostlikewhenyouwereplaying.’Cept,of

course,ifyou’dbeenoutthere,wewould’vewon.”

Shenoddedtowardthebackwall,andmygazefollowedherstoarowof

framedjerseys.Okay,soapparentlydownplayingdidn’tquitecoverit.

Fivejerseyshungfromthewhitecinderblockwall,alldisplayedundera

brightyellowlight.Intheverycenterweretwothatread“Wilder,”oneIassumed

withLuke’snumberandtheotherwithDuke’s.

“Itwasagreatgame.Theygaveitalltheyhad,”Lukesaid,seemingly

oblivioustomyrevelation.“WhatdoIoweyou?”

Jillshrugged.“Onthehouse.Would’vegoneinthetrash,anyway.”

Wesaidourgood-byesbeforejoiningthecrowdstillstreamingtotheparking

lot.WhenItookabiteofthesaltyhotdough,Lukefrownedatme.

“Don’tyouwantsomemustardorcheese?”

“Andsullytheperfecttasteofthispretzel?Notonyourlife.”Igavehima

playfulshoveandtookanotherbite,thinkingoverwhattosaynext.IknewwhatI

wantedtosay.

Don’ttakemebacktotheinn.Letmestayatyourplacetonight,and

tomorrownighttoo.Andthenwecanjustgoourseparatewaysandhavethis

funmemorytotakewithus.

Still,itfelttooforward.Icouldn’texactlyinvitemyselfintosomeoneelse’s

homefortheweekend,andevenifIcould...wasn’tthatalittletooseriousfor

somethingthatwebothagreedwasafling?

“Charlotte?”

Ishookmyhead,tryingtorecallwhatLukehadbeensaying,butitwasnouse.

“Huh?”

“Isaid,canIgiveyouaridetotheinn?”

“Oh,yeah,thatwouldbegreat.”Ifollowedhimtohistruck,listeningtothe

chatteraroundusaspeoplerehashedthegame.

“Whatwerewetalkingabout?”heaskedashegotbehindthewheel.

Isettledintothepassengerseat.“Iaskedaboutcollege.Whatdidyoumajor

in?”

“Business.”

“Forthedistillery?”

Hisfacetwistedintoafrown.“Notexactly.”

“Whatdoesthatmean?”

Heglancedatmefromthecornerofhiseye,hisprofileandsquarejaw

lookingasfineashell,eveninthedarkenedinteriorofthetruck.“I’lltellyou,but

firstyouhavetopromisethatyou’renotthejealoustype.”

“Jealous?”Ilaughed,butmystomachtightened.“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Youknowwhatjealousylookslike.Promisemeyoucancontainyourself.”

“IthinkIcanmanage.”Irolledmyeyes,butsecretlyIwaswishingIwas

anywhereelserightnow.

“Ihadactuallygonetoschoolforbusinessbecausemygirlfriendatthetime

wantedtoopenahigh-endspa,”heexplained.

Irosemyeyebrowsbutsaidnothing.

“Shewasarealcitytype,andwehadaplantoopenhercompanyinDallas

becausethat’swheretheclientelewas.Butthingsdidn’tworkoutthatway.”

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“BythetimeIgraduated,thedistillerywasgoingunder,andmydadwastoo.I

hadtocomebackhometolendahand.”

Ishothimaglanceundermylashes,atwingeofpitysizzlingthroughmeatthe

paininhisvoice.“AndDukedidthesame?”

Lukenodded.“No-brainer.”

“Andwhathappenedto...”Iletthequestionhangintheair,studyingLuke’s

faceasIwaitedforhimtofillintheblank.Hedidn’tlookpainedanymore,buthe

didn’tlookexcitedtobedredgingitallupeither.

“Sarah,”hefinishedforme.“Shecamebackwithme.Forawhile,atleast.

LikeIsaid,shewasthecitytype,andlivinginasmalltown—especiallyone

whereeveryonealreadyknewme—wasn’therstyle.”

“Isee.”Inodded.“Thatmusthavebeenhardforyou.Takingoneverythingand

—”

“Lookslikewe’rehere.”Lukecutmeoffashepulledinfrontoftheinn.

Istaredatit,stunnedwe’dgottenheresoquickly.Whydidtimeseemtoflyby

soquicklywhenIwaswithhim?

“Okaythen.Well,thanksforthatandthepretzel,”Isaid,shakingitathimlike

astick.“Ihadfun.”

Imovedtopushmydooropenandpaused,suckinginasteadyingbreath

beforeturningtofaceLuke.

“Doyouwanttocomeinforawhile?”

ChapterThirteen

Luke

Charlotteglancedfrommetotheinnandbackagainbeforetiltingherheadtothe

side,lettinghersilkyhaircascadeoverhershoulder.“Don’tfeelobligatedor

anything.IjustthoughtI’dask.Nobigdeal.”Hercheekswentpinkasshe

scrabbledforthedoorhandleagain.

“I’llcomeinforasec.”MygroinwenttightandIshrugged.“Butonlytohelp

youpack,”Isaidsoftly.

Sheblinkedinconfusion,hermouthhalf-open.“Whatdoyoumean?”

Ileanedcloserandtracedafingeroverthelineofherjaw.“Yourcarisn’t

goingtobefixeduntilMonday.It’sjustplainsillyforyoutokeepstayinghere

whenI’dratherhaveyouinmybed.”Iletoutalowgrowl,leaningintonipather

earlobebeforepullingback.

Shedroppedthelastbitofherpretzelintoherlapandletoutanervouslaugh.

“Areyousureaboutthat?”

Inodded.“Look,webothknowthedealhere.You’vegottogetbacktoyour

lifeandI’vegottofocusonthedistillery,butfortherestoftheweekend...”I

shrugged.“Idon’tseewhat’sstoppingusfromhavingalittlefun.Don’tyoulike

whatwe’vebeendoing?”

Hereyesgleamed,andIguessedshewasthinking—likeIwas—ofthewayI’d

pouredmaplesyrupalloverherbodythatafternoonandlappeditupwithmy

tongue.Iwascarefultoensurehernipplesandthedeliciousspotbetweenherlegs

werewellandtrulycleanbeforeIdraggedherintotheshowerandlatheredthe

restofherbodywithshampoo.

“It’sbeenfun,”shesaid,soundingalittlebreathless.

“So,it’ssettled.Let’sgogetyourstuff.”

Shequirkedherlipstothesidebeforepickingupherpretzelandpushingopen

herdoor.“Fine.I’llgrabmybag,butyoustayhere.Idon’twantanyoneseeingme

leavewithyouandgettingthewrongideathatI’mawomanofloosemorals,”she

saidwithachuckle.“ButI’mwarningyou,ifyou’regoingtoteasemelikethis,

you’dbetterbereadytohurrybacktoyourplaceandmakegoodonthoseimplied

threats.”

“Yougotit.”

Igrinnedandwatchedherdisappearbehindtheinn’sfrontdoor,mymind

driftingtohowshe’dlookedbeneaththebleachersandinmyoversizedT-shirt

thismorning,comparedtohowshelookedwhenshefirstgothere.

Therewasnouseincomparing,ofcourse,butitseemedliketherewas

somethingdifferentabouthernow.Backwhenwefirstmet,shewasinhoity-toity,

high-classNewYorkmode.Butunderthebleachers,andinmybed,shewasn’ta

duchess.ShewasjustCharlie,laughingandpretty,andallmine.

Butthen,Sarahhadbeenlikethattoo.

AndCharlottewouldbegoingsoon,justlikeSarahdid,butthistimeIhadthe

advantageofknowingthatinadvance.Iwasn’tseriousaboutCharlottelikeI’d

beenwithmyex,andwebothknewasmuch.So,aslongasIkeptmyheartoutof

allthisandjusthadfun,whatwasthebigdeal?

MollyhadtoldmeIworkedtoohardandneededabreak.Maybethiswas

exactlywhatshemeant—Ineededawarm,sexybodytosharemybed,someoneI

couldhavesomelaughsandunwindwith,nostringsattached.Noharm,nofoul.

Charlottesteppedoutoftheinn,suitcaseinhand.Iclimbedouttohelpher

withthebag,butsheluggeditaroundthetruckandshoveditinsidewith

surprisingspeed.Aswesettledbackintoourseatsandpreparedtoheadbackto

myhouse,Isensedanodddisturbanceintheairbetweenus,atensionthathadn’t

beentherebefore.

Ofcourse,itcouldhavebeenbecauseshewasgettingreadytospendtherest

oftheweekendwithamanshe’donlyknownforafewdays,butsomethingtold

methatwasn’tit.

MaybeIshouldn’thavementionedSarahearlier.OrmaybewhenIdid,I

shouldhaveturnedtowatchCharlotte’sexpressiontoseeexactlywhatshe

thought.If,ofcourse,shehadanythoughtsaboutmyexatall.Ithadbeensolong

ago,andmylifehadchangedsomuchsincethen.

Iclearedmythroat.“Okay,soyouknowallaboutmylifeandmypast.What

aboutyou?”

Shereeledaroundtolookatme.“Likewhat?”

“ItoldyouaboutcollegeandSarah.Youmusthavesomestoryabout—Idon’t

know—yourdebutanteball?Theprincewhoaskedforyourhandinmarriage?”

Sheblushedandlookedoutthewindow.“Ididn’thaveadebutanteball.”

“Collegethen.Youmajoredinmarketing,right?”

“Idid.Notmuchtoknow.IwenttoSarahLawrence.Itwasfine.”She

shrugged.“Endofstory,really.”

“Idoubtthat.Noguysinyourlife?”Iraisedmybrows.“Highschool

sweetheartwhobrokeyourheart?”

“Iwenttoanall-girlsschool,butgoodtry,”sheshotback.

“Huh.Idon’tknowasinglepersonintheworldthateverstopped,”Isaidwith

agrin.“Youdon’tmeantosithereandtellmeyougaveyourvirginitytosome

randomguyyoumetwhenyourcarbrokedowninTexas?”

Sherolledhereyes.“Okay,soI’vehadboyfriends,butthatdoesn’tmeanthey

wereanythinginterestingenoughtotalkabout.”

“Whatwasthelastonelike?Whatwashisname?”

“Why?Youthejealousonenow,Luke?”Sheshotmeatightgrin.“Yougonna

gofighthim?”

Ilaughed.“Dependsonhowthingsended.Washemeantoyou?”

Sheturnedtolookoutthewindowagain.“HisnamewasPrescott.”

ThistimeIlaughedevenlouder.“Areyouforreal?”

Sheblushed.“Itwasafamilyname.”

“WhichmeanshewasactuallyPrescottMoneybagsthewhat?Fourth?Fifth?”

“PrescottBillingsley.”Sheclearedherthroatandaddedunderherbreath,

“Thesixth.”

“Wow,thesixth.”Iletoutalowwhistle.“So,he’soldmoneythen.Big

score.”

Shefrowned.“LikeIsaid,nothingtowritehomeabout.”

“Youmeantotellmeyourparentsdidn’tdoahappydancewhenyoutoldthem

whoyouweredating?”

“Look,it’snotimportant.”

Sherubbedherpalmsoverherthighs,andIdidmybestnottorollmyeyes.

“Howdidthingsend?”

Anotherheavysilencefilledthecabofthetruck,andsheshiftedinherseat.“It

wasfine.Thingsjustdidn’tworkout.Look,Idon’twanttotalkaboutit,”she

practicallysnapped,thensmoothedahandoverherhair.“I’msorry.Youwereso

open.Ishouldn’t—”

“No,no.”Ishookmyhead.“It’sfine.Ifyoudon’twanttotalkaboutit,we

don’thaveto.”

Icouldn’tdeny,though,thatherrepliesintriguedmeandsentmysixthsense

tingling.WhileIwasn’tjealous,exactly,Iwasmuchmoreinvestedinheranswers

thanIshouldhavebeen.

Thisisafling,Luke.Don’tforgetit.

Igrippedthewheelmoretightlyandturnedmyattentionbacktotheroad.

“Look,Inormallymeetacoupleofoldfriendsatthebarafterthegame,butIcan

callandcancelifyou’drathernotgo—”

“No,don’tcancel.YouhadnowayofknowingI’dbehere,andIdon’twant

youtobail.Thatsaid,I’mreallytired.Whydon’tyoujustdropmeoff?I’llgeta

niceup-close-and-personallookatthatbigclaw-foottubofyours,andhavesome

popcorn.Anicelittle‘me’night.”

Theimageofhershimmeringwithwaterasshestoodfromthebathtub,her

pearly-whiteskinfreeofatowel,madeanotherrushofneedsurgetomycock,but

Inoddedallthesame.Suddenly,IfeltlikeIneededthespace.

“Okay,ifyou’resure.Iwon’tstayoutlong.”

“I’msure.”

Idroppedheroffandheadedforthebar,thinkingaboutSarah...andPrescott

BillingsleytheSixth.

Prescottwasexactlythekindofnameforaguylikethat.TheritzyNewYork

royaltythatshe’dinevitablymarrysomeday.Then,whentheyhadtheirpenthouse

andsheslidintotheirclaw-foottub,maybeshe’dthinkabouttheoneinmyhouse

andremember...

Ormaybenot.

Eitherway,itdidn’tmatter.Thisthingwehad?Ithadanexpirationdate

stampedonit,andnobodywasmoreokaywiththatthanme.Charlottewas

probablyitchingtogetbacktocitylife,andLordknewIhadenoughtodowiththe

distillerytokeepmebusyforanotherfewyearsatleast.

Itwasashame,though.Ifsheweresomethingelse,someoneelse...ifshe

werethegirlwho’dpulledmebeneaththebleachersearliertonight?Well,Imight

havebeenabletofallinlovewithsomeonelikethat.

•••

WhenIgottotheDrunkSkunk,itdidn’ttakemelongtofindCaseandRanger

alreadybellieduptothebarandwaitingwithathirdbeerinfrontoftheempty

stoolbesidethem.AsImademywaynearer,Casemadeawhoopingsoundand

Rangerpattedthestool.

“Theprodigalquarterbackreturns,”Rangersaid.“Whyareyousolate?”

“IhadtograbCharlotte’sstuffanddropheroff.”

“Oh,sheheadedoutoftowntonight?”Caseasked,butRangercutinbeforeI

hadthechancetoanswer.

“Ofcoursenot.YouknowWaynewasatthegame.”

“Whichmeansifshe’snotattheinnandshe’snotoutoftown...”Caseeyed

meashepieceditalltogether.“Aw,shit.”

“Shutup,”Imuttered,butRangerhootedagain.

“Sureyouwanttospendyournightwithuswhenyougotbetterprospects

waitingforyouathome?”

“Thisiswhynobodytellsyouanything,”Isaid,andthentookaswigofmy

beer.

“Peopletellusplenty.”Caseshrugged.“Justdependsifwecaretolisten.”

“Didyouseethisone?”RangeraskedCase.

Hebithisknuckleandnodded.“She’spretty.Realnicefigure.Would’ve

peggedherforDuke’stypeifIhadn’theardaboutthewholesalondebacle.”

“Somethinghappenedatthesalon?”Iraisedmyeyebrows,tryingtoact

nonchalantbutcuriousanyway,andalsooddlyirritatedbyCase’snoticeof

Charlotte’sfigure.Hewasn’tblind,afterall,andshedidhaveabangingbody,but

still.

“Yep,hearditfromAudrey.Mrs.Frenchalwaysgetshernailsdoneon

Mondays,butapparentlyCharlottewalkedinandtookherspot.Gotherhairdone

tooinsomefancyblowout,whateverthehellthatmeans.”

“Idon’tknowhowanyofthathasanythingtodowithme,”Ishotback.

“Agirlwhosefirstgoalintownistogethernailsandhairdone?Big-citytype

withsomedesignerhandbag?Doesn’tringabell?”Rangerraisedhiseyebrows

andmystomachtwisted.

“Look,ifyou’retalkingaboutSarah—”

Casegrimaced.“God,Ihopenobodyis.I’mtryingtohaveabeerandenjoy

mynight.Noneedtorelivethatnightmare.”

“Shewasn’tthatbad,”Iargued,althoughIinwardlycringedatthememory.

Itwastrue,SarahhadstuckoutaroundShadyGroveaboutasmuchas...

well,aboutasmuchasCharlottedid.Butthereweredifferencesbetweenthetwo.

Sarahwouldneverhavegonetothegamewithmetonight,andshesureasshit

wouldhavemindedifI’dwantedtohangoutwiththeguysinsteadofspending

timewithher.Andsheneverwouldhaveeatenaconcession-standpretzel.

Still,thatwasthegirlI’dthoughtIwantedtomarry.I’dhadtheringand

everything.Infact,Istillhadit,tuckedawayinadraweralongwiththenoteshe’d

leftbehind.

ButCharlottewasn’tSarah.Thiswasatotallydifferentsituationandwould

haveatotallydifferentoutcome.

Iraisedahandtoputanendtothedebate.“I’mwithCaseonthisone.Why

don’twejusthavesomebeersandcoolitwithallthegirltalk?Thatwasahellof

agametonight,afterall.”

Luckyforme,theguyssensedI’dhadenough,andturnedthesubjectto

tonight’sgame.Theydissectedeachoftheplaysandwentoverthestatsofthestar

athletesforeachteam.TheStallions,weallagreed,woulddobetternextweek.

AlthoughItriedtoimmersemyselfinthestatsandreasoningforeveryplay,I

stillfoundmyselfthinkingofCharlotte,andabouthowIwouldfeelwhen,two

daysfromnow,sheclimbedintohercarandgotbacktoherlife.Iwantedherto

rememberme,evenifwecouldn’tbetogether.Totakeapieceofmewithher

whenshewent.

IfIwerebeinghonest,Iwantedhertoleaveapieceofherselfbehindtoo.

SomethingformetorememberandholdontowhenIthoughtaboutwhatcould

havebeenbetweenus.

Youknow...ifweweren’ttotallywrongforeachother.

ChapterFourteen

Charlotte

Lukedidn’twakemeonSaturdaymorning,andneitherdidthebright,glittery

sunshinethatpouredthroughthewindowsofhisbedroom.Instead,thephonethatI

hadfallenasleepbesidebuzzedsoclosetomyfacethatIshotboltupright,my

heartracingasIfranticallyglancedaround.

Iclutchedmychest,thenletoutadeepbreathandgrabbedforthedamned

thing,checkingtomakesureIhadn’tdisturbedLuke.Butno,hesleptonlikealog,

snoringgentlywithhismouthhalfwayopen.

Ireachedtowardhim,temptedtobrushbackatuftofhismussedhair,butthen

myphonebuzzedagainandheshifted,swattingitawayfromhimashesnuggled

deeperintothesheets.

Reachingquickly,Igrabbedthephonejustbeforeittippedovertheedgeofthe

bed,thenglanceddownattheflashingscreen.Ihadsomanymissedcallsand

follow-upvoicemailsthataknotformedinmystomachatthesheernumberalone.

Breathingdeeplythroughmynose,Ieasedfromthebedandtiptoedoutofthe

room,carefultoclosethedoorquietlybehindmebeforeedgingmywayintothe

kitchenandopeningthedreadedscreen.

Okay,allIhadtodowaslookatthelastfivecalls.Thatwasit.IfIwantedto

listentothem,Iwould.Ifnot?Theycouldwaitforanotherday.

Withanotherdeepbreath,Isuckedinmycheeksandscannedthelistofnames.

Mom.

Dad.

Valentina.

AnumberIdidn’trecognize.

Prescott.

Ididadouble-takeatthelastname,hatingthelittleheartemojithatstill

lingeredbesidehisnameinmycontactlist,anddeletedthemessagewithout

listening.Okay,thatwasonedecisiondown.AllIhadtodonowwasdecideon

therest.

Bettertostartsoft,right?Crawlbeforeyourun?

ItappedValentina’snameandheldthephonetomyear.

“Charlotte,hey.Justcallingtoseewhatthedealiswiththecarandthe

townandeverything.Ihopeyou’reontheroad.Can’twaittoseeyou!”She

madeahappylittlescreechingnoise,andthenthemessageclickedoff.

Okay,thatwasn’tsobad.Iglancedatthelistagainandchosemynextpoison

—thenumberIdidn’trecognize.Evenabillcollectororheavybreatherwould

likelybebetterthanamessagefrommymother.

“Ms.Freemont,thisisDr.Maloney.I’msorrytobecallingyououtofthe

bluelikethis,butyourparentstoldmethattheremightbesomecausefor

concern.Couldyoupleasecallmebackandletmeknowifyou’reallright,and

whereyouare?Yourparentsareveryworried,andIwouldliketogetyouthe

helpyouneedanddeserve.”Helefthisnumberandthenhungup.

Istaredatthephone,blinkingatitlikeithadslappedme.

Wasthata...psychiatrist?Didtheythink,justbecauseIdidn’twanttomarry

Prescottorstickaroundintheirplasticlittleworld,thatIwashavingsomekindof

mentalbreakdown?

Butthen,IhadfledthescenewithoutawordandheadedforCalifornia.That

wouldworryanyparent,Iwassure.Evenifmymom’sBotoxedfacewasno

longercapableofexpressingemotion,surelytherewasaheartleftrattling

somewhereinthatimpossiblynarrowchestcavityofhers.

Conflicted,Iclickedonthenextmessageandlistened.

“Charlotte,darling,it’sme.”Mymom’svoicefloatedovertheline,airyand

light,asifshewerecallingtoseeifIwasavailableforteathisafternoon.“I

knowyoumustbeinastaterightnow.Youprobablythinkyou’veruined

everything,andIwon’tlie.Itisalittletougharoundtheclub,”shesaidwitha

cluckofhertonguethatsetmyteethonedge.“Butyouhavetorememberother

girlshavestillmadeworsemistakes.RememberwhenNinaWeiss’sdaughter

ranawayandelopedwiththatboyshemetonthesubway,ofallplaces?

Anyway,whatI’msayingiscomehome.PrescottandDaddywillforgiveyou.

Justcomehomeandforgetthismomentarylapse.”

ThemessageendedandIlookeddownatthephoneagain.Shehadn’taskedif

Iwasokay—hadn’tevenaskedwhereIwas.Though,ofcourse,Iknewwhy.

Itdidn’tmatter.Oritwouldn’tuntilIwasexactlywheretheytoldmetobe.

“Well,bettermaketheroundsofit,”Imumbledandheldupthephonetolisten

tomydad’smessage.

Therewasalongmomentofsilence,thenthesoundofmenlaughingandthe

clickingofglassesfollowedbylowchatter.Someonesaidsomethingthatwastoo

muffledtomakeout,andDadrepliedinaboomingvoice,“SothenDuffsays,you

thinkthat’sbad,youshouldseetheotherguy!”Morelaughterfollowed,andI

clickedthemessageoffwithoutwaitingtoheartheotherforty-threeseconds.

Myfatherhadbutt-dialedme.Asfarasheknew,Iwasmissingand

heartbroken,andhewasoutsomewheredrinkingandlaughingwithhisbuddies,

tellingtiredoldstories?

Isetmyjaw,tryingtoignorethesting,andscrolleddowntofindanother

messagefrommymother.Iclickedonitmoreoutofrighteousangerthaninterest,

andwhenhervoicefloatedoverthelineagain,Igrittedmyteeth,waitingforher

toaskmethistimewhereIwas,orifIwasokay.

“Charlotte,honey,it’smeagain.IwantedyoutoknowI’vepaideveryone

fromthereceptionandthat’sallhandled.I’vealsoarrangedforyoutoseea

fewdoctors,sotheyshouldbecallingyouinshortorder.Ihopetoseeyou

soon.”

Shehopedtoseemesoon?Thatwasit?

NoIloveyou?

Nonothing?

Mymother’sonlyconcernwasforhercheckbook—andherimage.Andthat

wasexactlywhyI’descaped—andexactlywhyIhadn’ttoldLukeaboutmypast.I

didn’twanthimbelievingIwassomesillysocietygirlwhoonlycaredaboutthe

labelstitchedintoherclothesorthenumberofzeroesinherbankaccount.I

wasn’tlikethem.Iwasn’t.AndeventhoughIknewthatIshouldn’thaveliedto

LukewhenheaskedmeaboutPrescott,Ijustwantedsobadlytobelievethatallof

thatwasbehindme,andneverspeakofitagain.

Islammedmyphoneonthekitchentableandhuffedoutasigh,blinkingback

angry,frustratedtears.

Iwasjustabouttoslamitagain,justforthesatisfactionofit,whenadeep

malevoicebehindmemademejump.

“Earlytobed,earlytorise,Iguess,”Lukemurmured,loopinghisarmsaround

meandpullingmebackagainsthischest.

Icouldfeelthelong,rigidoutlineofhiscockagainstmyass.Itwasamazing

howjustthefeelofhisheatedskincouldmellowthefuryinmychestwhile

unfurlingawholeotherkindofheatinsideme.

“Whatwasallthatabout?”Henoddedtowardmyphone,andIshookmyhead.

“Nothing.Checkingforwordaboutthecar.”Thelieswerecomingquickerand

easier,andIhatedmyselfforthat,buttherewasnosenseindragginghimintomy

dramawhenIwasleavingintwodays.

“I’mguessingit’snotreadybythatreaction.Ihatetosayit,butIwouldn’t

holdyourbreathonhearingaboutthatanytimesoon.”

“Iknow,Iknow.It’sSaturday,soWayne’sdrunk.”Irolledmyeyes.“Itdoesn’t

takelongtolearntheinsandoutsofaplacelikethis.”

Hestiffenedandpaused,stillintheprocessofnuzzlingmyhair.“Something

wrongwiththat?”

Iwantedtobitemytongueoff.“Notatall,”Isaid,shakingmyhead.“What

doesSaturdaynormallylooklikeforyou?”

“Whenthere’sabeautifulwomaninmyhouse,Itendnottoleavethebed.

EspeciallysinceshewasasleepwhenIgothomelastnight.”Helacedhisfingers

withmineandspunmearoundtofacehim.“Whatdoyousay,beautiful?Wantto

gogetdirtytogether?”

“I’dsaythatwouldbeperfect,”Imurmuredasheleanedintokissme,butI

putmyfingeronhislips,callingoneverybitofmywillpowertoholdhimin

place.“Ifwedidn’thavesomuchworktodo.Yousaidyouwantedmyhelp,andI

wanttohelpyou.Nowtellme,wheredoyouworkbest?”

Withalong-sufferingsighandthepromiseofarewardwhenweweredone,

LukearrangedallthepapersandformsIneededonhisdiningroomtable,andI

settledintowork.Forthenextcoupleofhours,weporedoverthepapersand

drewoutdesigns.

Whenthemorningbecametheafternoon,Lukedisappearedintothekitchento

makeussandwiches,leavingmealonetotakeabreak.Ifoundmyselfglancing

aroundhishouse,stillsortofpinchingmyselfthatIwasthere.

Itreallywasasweetlittleplace—brightandcheerywithallthehomey

touchesIwouldneverhaveexpectedinabachelorpad.Itwasahousebuiltfora

family,andasIstaredaroundthetable,IpicturedtinylittleLukessittinginthose

emptychairs,alljoininghandsandsayinggracebeforetheirSundaymeal.

Itwaslikeafantasyfamilylife,certainlynotanythingI’dgrownupwith,and

forthefirsttimeIfeltalittleenviousofLuke.Hisparentsweregonebuthestill

hadDukeandMolly,andthelegacyofthatearlyfamilylifewouldalwaysbewith

them.Theycouldallstillsitaroundthistable,andifhewentmissing...

Well,therewasnodoubtthatoneofhislovedoneswouldatleastaskwhere

hewas.

MyheartgaveasqueezeandIgnawedonmylowerlip,tryingtopushthe

thoughtsofmyfamilyfrommymind.Luckily,Lukereappearedafewsecondslater

andsataturkeysandwichinfrontofme,thecrustscutoffandthesandwichitself

cutintofourperfecttriangles.

Ilaughed,mymelancholyevaporatingunderthewarmthofhisboyishgrin.

“Wow,gourmet.”

“Onlythebestforyou,citygirl.”

Therewasnomaliceinhiswords,though,andIpickedupthesandwichand

bitin.Ithadbeenyearssincesomeonehadmademeasandwichlikethis,but

therewasnodenyingthesimplegoodness.

Hetookaseatacrossfrommeandduginaswetalked.Hetoldstoriesabout

hisfriendsandthebusiness,andaboutDukeandMolly.Suddenly,theimageofall

ofussittingaroundthetablebecameevenclearerinmymind,andIgotso

wrappedupintheflowofconversationthatIfoundmyselfspeakingbeforeI

stoppedtothink.

“Whatdoyouthinktheoddsareofyourwifehavingtwinslikeyouand

Duke?”Iasked,takingahastybiteofmysandwichtodistractfrommyreddening

face.

OhLord,I’dreallydoneitnow.HewasgoingtothinkIwassomesortof

loonystalker,namingourtwinsafterwhatamountedtonothingmorethanalittle

fling.

Heshotmeaquizzicalglance.“Idon’tknow.Whydoyouask?”

“Noreasonatall,”Isaidbrightly,shakingmyhead.“Ijustfeelbadforherand

hervagandall.Probablyroughontheoldgirl,squeezingoutdoubles,you

know?”

Lukelaughedandthengroaned.“OhmyGod,thatwasfunnyuntilIhadtothink

ofitintermsofmyownmom,sothanksforthat.”

Itwasbetterthanthealternative,soIsweptmyarmoutandexecutedalittle

halfbow.“You’requitewelcome.Andthere’splentymorewherethatcamefrom.

I’llbehereallweekend.”

Takingadvantageofthereprievefrompurehumiliation,Iquicklyshifted

gears,steeringtheconversationbacktowardthesafetyofworkagain.

Butthen,asweworkedandtalked,Luke’schairseemedtoinchcloserand

closertomine.Asafternoonturnedintoevening,thesunthathadshonethroughthe

widewindowswasreplacedwithtwinklingstars,andIlostfocusofeverything.

Everything...exceptexactlyhowclosehewassitting.Howitwouldtake

nothingatallforhimtoclosethespacebetweenus,slideourpaperstothefloor,

andsplaymeoutonthediningroomtablerightthenandthere.

MycheeksheatedasIimaginedhimspreadingmylegsopen,histonguelaving

methewayhehadinthefieldthatfirstnight.Warmthspreadthroughmybodyat

thethoughtalone,andIsqueezedmythighstogether,notwantingtogiveintothe

swellofneedandlonging.Notyet,anyway.

“Don’tyouthink?”Lukeasked.

Iforcedmyselfbacktothepresentandnoddedmyheadvigorously.“Oh,um,

yeah.Yes.Definitely.”

Heleanedacrossmetowritesomethingonthefileinfrontofme.Hisearthy,

manlysmellwaftedupashemovedandIbreathedindeeply,rememberingthe

waythatscenthadtastedonhisskin.Withhissun-kissedhairinfrontofme,it

wasallIcoulddonottoreachoutandrunmyfingersthroughhislocks,butagainI

refrained.

We’retalkingbusiness.Tonightisaboutbusiness.

Mystomachrumbled,andIglancedathimfromthecornerofmyeye.

“Hungry?”heasked,andInodded.“Whatareyouinthemoodfor?”

Whenhesmiledatme,Iwantedtoblurtouttheanswer,therealanswer—him.

Maplesyrup.Whippedcream.Whateverhewouldletmedo,justsolongasI

couldfeelhisbodyonmineagain.

Hewasjustsodamnclose.

“Idon’tknow,”Imurmured,andheshrugged.

“Thinkitover.”

Inoddedagainandhescootedhischairevencloser,hiskneebrushingagainst

mineashemoved.Anothershotofpureelectricityjoltedthroughmeathistouch.

Whatwasitwithhim?Itwasn’tlikeI’dneverbeenwithmenbefore,butnow

everytimeIthoughtabouthisfingersonmybody,Ifoundmyselfpantingand

needylikeneverbefore.

Ihadtogetittogether—andfast.NotjustbecauseIwassurehecouldseethe

waymyeyesdilatedandfixedonhislipseverytimehespoke,butbecause...

well,tomorrowwasSunday.Weonlyhadonemoredaytogether,andifIgotused

tofeelinglikethiseverytimeIwasaroundhim,whatwouldIdowhenIwas

gone?WhenIfinallyhadtoleave?

“So,Iwasthinkingaboutthisforthelogo,”hesaidashesketchedsomething

onthepaperinfrontofme.

Focus,Itoldmyself.Focus.Youpromisedyouwouldhelphim.

ButIcouldn’t.AllIcouldthinkaboutwasthewaythetablewouldthunk

againstthehardwoodwhileheheldmyhipsandturnedmeover,readytotakeme

frombehind.

Panicfilledmeattherealizationthatthismightbethelasttimewewere

together.Iwantedtomakeitspecialand—

“So,whatdoyouthink?”heasked.

Ilookeddownatthepapertoseealittlestick-figuremanandwomanina

compromisingposition.Iletoutashortlaugh,mycheeksflushing.

“AmIthatobvious?”

Hismouthquirkedtotheside.“Somethinglikethat.Butluckily,greatminds

thinkalike.”

Hishandstrokedmythigh,workingitswaytotheinsideofmyleg,justabove

whereIcouldalreadyfeelmypantiesgettingwet.

“Iactuallyhaveabetteridea.”

Ipluckedthepencilfromhisotherhandandscribbledonthepaper,just

beneathhisdrawing.WhenIpulledmyhandback,hisgazefellontheimageofa

stick-figurewomanonherkneesinfrontofaveryhappy-lookingstick-figureman.

“Farbeitformetoargue,”hesaidandcuppedthespacebetweenmythighs,

rubbinggentlybeforecontinuing.“JustknowthatIstillwanttofuckyouafter.”

IknewDukeandMollywouldbegonealldaytolendahandtoaneighbor,

leavingustrulyandcompletelyalone.Thatfeelingmademebold,alittlereckless.

“Ifyouinsist,”Iteased,thensanktomykneesinfrontofhimashekickedout

hischairtofaceme.

Withdefthands,heloosenedthebuckleandtuggedhisbeltfree,lettingitdrop

tothefloorwithaloudclunk.Thenhereleasedthebuttonandzipperandpulled

hisjeanstohisanklesbeforekickingthemasideuntilhewasleftinnothingbuthis

blackboxerbriefs.

Already,Icouldseethehugebulgejuttingoutbeneaththefabric,andmy

mouthwateredattheideaoftastinghim.WhyhadIwaitedsolongforthis?Inthe

entireweekwe’dhad,howhadIwastedsomuchtime?Andnow,withlessthan

twodaysleft...

TomorrowIwouldhavetodoitagain,justsoIhadmorethanonememoryto

takewithme.Andthenmaybewecoulddoitintheshowerand—

ButIwasgettingaheadofmyself.Hereandnowwasabouthim,pullingdown

thoseboxerstorevealthehuge,hardcockIknewwaswaitingforme,wantingme.

Ilickedmylipsashepulledhisbriefsdownandtossedthemasidewiththerest

ofhisclothes.

“Shirttoo,”Isaid,andheraisedhiseyebrows.

“Whendidyougetsobossy?”

IstoodandturnedasifIweregoingtowalkaway.“Okay,ifyoudon’twantto

listen.”

Big,powerfulhandsgrippedmyhipsandpulledmebackagainsthismuscular

chestashewhisperedintomyear,“You’renotgoinganywhere.”

Myheartskippedabeatashegrippedthehemofmyshirtandtuggeditover

myhead.Unthinking,Ifollowedhislead,stretchingmyhandsovermyheadand

lettingmyshirtjoinhisclothingonthefloor.

“I’llshowyoumineifyoushowmeyours,”hemurmured.

Mybreathcaughtas,withtheslightesttwist,mybratightenedandthen

releasedasIallowedittofallawayfromme.

“Iwanttoseethosetitsbouncewhileyousuckmydick,”hesaid,andanother

surgeoflongingrushedbetweenmythighs.

Myheartwasbeatingsofastandthebloodwasrushingtomyearswithso

muchintensitythatIwantedtofalltomykneesinfrontofhimandsucklongand

deep.Islidfromhislapandtookmyplacebetweenhisopenknees,mythoughts

filledwithnothingbuthowhothisskinwouldfeelagainstmyhips,howamazing

hewouldsmellasIbobbedupanddown.

Hedraggedhisshirtupoverhisheadandgrinnedatme,revealingamuscular

chestandthesexiestsetofabsI’deverbeenupcloseandpersonalwith.“A

deal’sadeal.ThoughIwantyoutotakeoffthosepantstoo.You’dlooksohot

withyourkneesopen,suckingmycockandwaitingforme.”

Ishiveredalittleatthethought,butthefeistiersideofmetookover.“Notpart

ofthedeal.You’vegottowaitforthat.”

Iinchedclosertohim,takingthebaseofhisshaftinonehandwhileIcupped

hisballswiththeother.Gently,ImassagedhimwhileIworkedhimupanddown,

readyinghimforme.TherewasnowayI’dbeabletofitallofhiminmymouth—

intruth,ImightneedbothhandsjusttomakeupfortheportionofhimIwouldn’t

beabletotake—butwatchinghimasIworkedwasenoughtomakemewantto

comerightthenandthere.

Hiseyesdarkenedashewatched.Hetuckedonehandundermychintoforce

metolookintothosebrooding,hungryeyes.

“You’reatease,”hesaid,hisvoicelowandgravelly.

Itossedhimasmile.“Youwantmymouth?”

ButIdidn’twaitforhimtorespond.Ashishandmovedtograspthenapeof

myneck,Ileaneddownandtookhimintomymouth,suckinghissensitiveheadas

Irolledthetipofmytongueoverhim.HeletoutalowgroanasIworkedandtook

himdeeper,doingmybesttofitasmuchofhiminsidemymouthasIcould.

HisskinwasevenhotterthanIimagined,andashebobbedagainstthebackof

mythroat,mytongueburnedwiththesensationoflappinghim.Withalittletickof

movement,Icouldfeelhimgrowingharderstillinsidemymouth,andhegripped

thebackofmyneckwithmoreforce,urgingmetokeepup.

Allthewhile,Iworkedhimwithonehand,lovingthewayhisthighstwitched

witheverylong,deepsuck.Withhimstillinsidemymouth,Iletoutalittlemoan

ofapproval,simultaneouslylovingandhatingtheacheinmyjawthatwas

buildingwitheverypassingthrust.Mylipswerebecomingsorewithsweet,

sensitiveheat,andIknewwhenIpulledaway,theywouldbeswollenandred

frommyefforts.This,Iknew,wouldonlymakehiskissescoolerbycomparison

inthebest,mostscintillatingway.

Thatwas,ifhekissedmeatall.ForallIknew,hemightsimplybendmeover

thetableandhavehiswickedwaywithme—justlikehislittlestickfigureshad

done.

“Enough,”hegroanedashiscommandinggripdraggedmebackandaway

fromhim.“Ican’tfuckingtakeitanymore.Takeoffthosepantsandletmesee

what’smine.”

Withthedeeprumbleofhisvoice,Iknewbetterthantoargue,eventhoughI

feltbereftthesecondmylipslefthim.Standing,Iunzippedmyjeansandstepped

carefullyoutofthemuntilIwasinnothingbutabrightbluescrapoflace.Silently,

Ihookedmythumbsundertheelastic,butthenLukewasonhiskneesinfrontof

me,histeethonmypantiesashedraggedthemtothefloor.Whenherighted

himself,hekissedmebetweenmythighs,andIletoutanotherlittleshiverof

pleasure.

“Bendover,”hecommanded,andagainIfollowedhislead.

Withonehand,Isweptasidethepaperswe’dspentalldaytoilingoverand

thenbentoverthetable,carefultopullmyselfontomytiptoessohecouldgeta

nice,goodlookatwhatIknewhewantedmosttosee.

“Fuck,”hegroaned.“IwishIcouldtakeapicture.Icouldstareatyourpussy

allday,baby.”

Ishotasmileathimfromovermyshoulder.

Apparently,thatwasallittook.Withanothermutteredoath,hegrippedhimself

anddroveintomehardandfast,andIletoutalittlegasp.

Hispowerfulfingersdugintomythighs,andwithgreedy,hungrythrusts,he

bentmybodytohiswill.Withonehandonthetabletosteadyme,Ireachedthe

otherbetweenmylegsandpleasuredmyself,heighteningthesteadypushandpull

ofhisswollencockashedroveintomeharderandharderstill.

“That’sit,baby.Ilovewatchingyoutouchyourself,”herasped.

Ilookedovermyshouldertocatchaglimpseofthesteadyconcentrationinhis

eyes.Witheverythrust,hisjawtickedwithdesperateneed,andthesightofit

alonemademeletoutalittlemoanofpleasure.Ifthiswasourlasttimetogether,I

wasgoingtomakeitmemorable.Iwasgoingtomakesurewecametogether.

Workingmyselffasterstill,Iclenchedaroundhishugelength,andheletout

anotherlowgroan.

“Fuck,”hemuttered,andIpushedbackagainsthim,causinghimtotakeme

evenfasterthanbefore.

Witheverymove,hepusheddeeperinsideme.Iclosedmyeyes,savoringthe

waymyinnerwallstightened,shakingandquakingtothepointofspillingover

intoorgasm.

Iwassoclose,soclosetotheedge,andallIhadtodowas—

“Damn,Charlotte.”

Mynameonhislipswaslikethekeytoahiddenroom.Asurgeofeuphoria

rushedovermeandIgrippedthetablewithbothhands,usingittosteadymyself

astheorgasmrippedthroughmyeverycell.Mychannelclosedoverhim,gripping

andreleasinginaflurryofspasms.

“Luke,”Icried.

Hisfingersdugintomyskintothepointofpainashebuckedagainstme,

groaningandflexingashecame,butIdidn’tcare.AllIwantedwastofeelhim

lettinggo,losinghimselfinmeasIlostmyselfinhim.Havingeverything,

everythingwecouldgiveeachother.

Evenifitwasonlyforalittlewhile.

ChapterFifteen

Luke

“Shit.”Irolledoverandrubbedmyeyesbeforeglancingatthedigitalclockon

mynightstand,alltooawarethatCharlottewasstillcurlednexttome,herhair

splayedacrossmybluepillowcase.

“What?”shemumbledasshereachedforme,pullingmecloser.

“Imissedchurch.”

“Justgotoalaterservice.”

Shemovedontoherside,herwarm,nakedskinrubbingagainstmythigh.I

turnedover,hugginghercloseuntilmyrigidcockwaspressedagainsttheseamof

herass.Minxthatshewas,shewiggledagainstme,coaxingmetopinherdown

anddoallthethingsI’ddonetoherlastnightoverandoveragain.

“Thereisnootherservice.Theministerisprobablyalreadywithhisfamily

fortheday.”

“What,togoandaskforconfessionorsomething?”Sheyawnedandsnuggled

againstmychest.

“Catholicshaveconfession.NotBaptists.”

Sheshrugged.“Potato,tomato.”

“Notthesaying.Now,comeon.”Iflippedthecoversfromoverherandshe

yankedthembackupagain—althoughnotbeforeIcaughtsightofhercreamyskin

andfullbreasts.

“What?I’mnotgoinganywhere.It’ssleepytime.”

Shepulledthecoversoverherhead,andIwalkedaroundtohersideofthe

bed,kissingthelumponthecomforterwhereIknewherheadwashidden.

“Wemissedtheservice,butwestillhaveSundaylunchwithMollyandDuke.

Ifwedon’tshowup,they’llcometocheckonus.Anddoyouwantthemfinding

youlikethis?”

Herblueeyespeekedoutfromtheedgeofthecomforter.“Maybe.”She

reachedoutfrombeneathitandranafingerupthelengthofmythigh,temptingme

frommykneetotheinsideofmyleg,andthenhigher...

Mycockgaveagratifiedtwitch,andforamomentIpicturedherleaning

forwardtotakemeinhermouthagain,hermorninghairstilltousledasshemoved

herheadupanddownandworkedmeover.

“Youlikeme,”sheteased,smilingasmycocktwitchedatthementalimage.

Isteppedawayfromherandpointedtowhereshe’dlefthersuitcase.

“Comeonandgetdressed.WecantalkabouthowmuchIlikeyoulater.”

IheadedformydresserbeforeIcouldseeherpout—anotherreminderofhow

fullandlusciousthoselipsofherswere—andmadequickworkofdressing.

PullingmyoldStallionsballcapovermyheadafewminuteslater,Iturnedand

foundheralldolledupinaprettylavendersundressthatshowedoffherslender

curves.

“Youlookincredible.”

ShegrinnedatmeandItookherhand,readytopullhertothetruck,butbefore

Idid,shequicklyliftedthehemofherdress,flashingme.

Iblinkedinsurprise,mybrainstutteringtoadeadstop.“Areyou...”

Sheshookherhead.“Nope.Notwearingpanties.Youknow,incaseyou

changeyourmindonthewaythere.”

Hot.Damn.Thiswomanwouldbethedeathofme.

Throwingherontothebed,Idecideditwouldbebesttotakealittledetour

beforehittingtheroad.

•••

Halfanhourlater,whenwewerebothsatedandherhairwasmoremussedthan

before,wejumpedintothetruckandhightailedittoWhattheCluck.Duke’s

pickupwasalreadyintheparkinglot,andwepulledupbesideit.

MollyandDukewerewaitingforusinside,thetablealreadyladenwithour

regularorderoffriedchicken,greenbeans,andbiscuits.WhenIwalkedthrough

thedoor,mysistergavemethekindofknowinglookthatmademycheekswarm.

Ifshe’dbeenthere,shewouldhaveknowntherewasnothingIcoulddo,

though.NotwhenIhadCharlottesocloseandwilling,sanspanties.

Notwhenourtimewasalmostup.

Atleastwe’dshownupforlunchdespitewhatwecouldbedoing.Churchwas

important,butfamilywasmyreligion.

CharlotteandIsatonthebenchoppositemysiblings,andMollygrinnedatus

beforeofferingustheplatesshe’dalreadydishedoutforus.

“Howwaschurch?”Charlotteaskedbrightly.

“Itwaswonderful.Thesermonwasaboutforgiveness,”Mollysaid,eyeing

me.

“Thenyouwon’tmindthatwe’relate,”Ishotback,andMollyshotmeanother

cuttinglook.

Dukejustlaughed.“Wemight,butIdon’tthinkMr.andMrs.Frenchwill.”He

noddedtowardtheoldercouplesittinginthecorneroftheroomwiththereverend

andhiswife.

“Myabsencewasnoted?”Iraisedmyeyebrows.

Dukeshrugged.“YouknowhowMrs.Frenchis.”

“Idon’t,”Charlottesaid,andIwinced,wishingmybrotherwouldstuffasock

init.

“Mr.andMrs.Frenchfeelstronglythattheirgranddaughterneedstomarrya

niceboyfromagoodfamily,”Dukeexplained.

“AndsinceeveryoneknowsDukeisn’tthemarryingtype—”Mollyadded.

“Hey,hey,hey.”Dukehelduphishands.“Itried,ifyourecall.”

“WithDanaFrench?”Mollyrolledhereyes.“Goodmove.Nochanceinhell.”

“Whynot?”Charlotteasked.

“She’smoreLuke’stype,”Dukesaid,andwhenCharlotteraisedher

eyebrows,Mollyrushedintoexplain.

“TheFrenchesjustwantsomeonewhoisn’tgoingtoleaveShadyGrove.

They’reveryclosewithDana,especiallynowthatherfatherpassed.”

“Isee.”Charlottenodded.“AndwhatdoyouthinkofDana?”sheaskedme.

Iglancedfrommybrothertomysister,notsurewhowasmoredeservingof

myglare.“Ihardlyknowher.”

“Unlessyoucounteveryyearofschoolfromkindergartentosenioryearof

highschool,”Dukesaid.

“Thatdoesn’tmeanIknowher,”Iinsisted.“Shewasinmyclasses,butIcan’t

sayIeverreallytalkedtoher.”

Charlottelaughed.“It’sokay,Luke.Thisisn’tatrial.IsDanapretty?”

Ifrowned.WhydidCharlotteevenwanttohearaboutwhatIthoughtof

anotherwoman?Shewasleavingandthiswasalltemporary,butontheotherhand

—

She’dsharedmybedwithme.Hadbeenwithmeunderthebleachers.

Shouldn’tsomedeeper,animalpartofherbesomewhatjealous?Itriedtoimagine

myselfinhershoes,andrealizedthethoughtofanotherguytouchinghermademe

wanttopunchaholethroughthefuckingwall.

WhenItoldCharlotte,“Notasprettyasyou,”sheturnedherattentiontoher

chicken,eatingwithevenmoregustothanshehadwithherpretzelafterthe

footballgame.

“Mighthavetoordersecondsifyou’regoingtowolfitdownlikethat,”Duke

teased,andshegrinned.

“Theydon’tmakeitlikethiswhereI’mfrom.Sogood.I’mtryingtopreserve

thememoryofthewaythistastes.”Inaflash,shewhippedoutherphoneandtook

apictureofthehalf-emptyplate,completewiththeorange-and-whiteWhatthe

Cluckwaxpaperunderneath.

“Hashtagtoogoodnottoeat,”shemurmuredtoherselfasshescrolledthrough

thefilters.

Ilaughed,thentookabiteofmyownchickenjustintimeforittoturntodirtin

mymouthasIlookeduptofindWaynewaswalkingtowardus,hishandsladen

withcarryoutbags.HestoppedatourtableandgrinneddownatCharlotte.

“Oh.Hey,Wayne,”shesaidwithapolitehalfsmile.

“Hey.”Heliftedthebagsalittle.“Iwasgonnacallyou,wantedtoletyou

knowyourcarshouldbeallsetaroundnoontomorrow.Wheneveryou’rereadyto

pickitupafter,you’llbegoodtogo.”

Istudiedherface,butitremainedimpassiveasshenodded.

“Okay,great.Thanksagainforyourhelp.”

WhenWaynewinkedandheadedforthedoor,Ipushedmyplateaway,

suddenlynothungryanymore.Iknewtherewasanexpirationdateonmytimewith

Charlotte—I’dremindedmyselfofthatmoretimesthanIcouldcount.Butnow

thatIknewtherealtimeline...nowthatIknewtonightwasdefinitelyourlast

nighttogether?

Itallfeltdifferent.

Wrong,somehow.

Acombinationofdread,doom,anddespairmingledinmystomach.Ilooked

uptocatchDukeandMollyexchangingconcernedglances,sothisfactwasn’tlost

onthem,butCharlottecontinuedtopickawayatherfood,seeminglyoblivious.

Wasitjustme?Didn’tshefeelittoo?

Thethoughtthatthisstrangesenseofgriefwasone-sidedmademytemples

throb.

“Iguessyourgoing-awaypartyisgoingtohavetobetonightthen,”Molly

said.

Charlottelaughed.“Goingawayparty?I’veonlybeenhereaweek.”

“Andeverydayhasbeenbetterthanthelast.Comeon,youcan’tsayno.”

Mollygrabbedabiscuitandtookabigbite.

“ThenIwon’t.”CharlottegrinnedfromMollytome,andIfeignedasmilein

return.“Afterall,itcouldbefun.”

“Absolutely,”Iagreedwithalittletoomuchgusto.“Couldbethebestnightof

ourlives.”

Thatseemedaboutright.Sortoflikethewayadeathrowinmate’slastmeal

wasthemostdeliciousone.

ChapterSixteen

Charlotte

Acoupleofhourslater,LukeandIsplashedhandinhandthroughanunexpected

rainshowerandmadeitinsidethebarjustintimetoseethatwhenMollysaid

“party,”shewassonotkidding.

Abuffetwassetupinthecorneroftheroom,andthehonky-tonk’snormal

fluorescentlightshadbeendimmedtomakewayfortheflashingTechnicolor

discoballnowhangingfromtheceiling.SheandDukeweresittinginthecorner

oftheroom,waitingforus,itseemed.

EveryoneI’dseenormetinShadyGrovewascrowdedaroundthebar,and

evenafewpeopleIhadn’tmetyetweredancingorclusteredaroundthetables,

talkingtooneanother.

LukeandIlaughedasDukepretendedtobeaffrontedatourlatearrival,and

thenIletoutalowwhistleasItookintheroomagain.

“Howdidyoumanageit?Thismustbethewholetown,”Isaidinamazement.

Mollylaughed.“Justabout.Peoplearoundthesepartsloveaparty.EvenDana

Frenchishere,”shesaidwithawink.

“Don’tIknowit.”Dukegrimacedathisbrother.“Mrs.FrenchthoughtIwas

youandtriedtogetmetodancewithher.”

IfollowedhisgazeuntilIcaughtsightofthegirlwhohadtobeDana.Shewas

prettyandpetite,withasprinkleoffrecklesoverherlong,thinnose.Downher

back,sheworeathickbrownplaitthatwastiedwithabrightredponytailholder.

“Classy,”Isaid.“Herponytailmatchesherdress.”IknewIsoundedbitchy,

butdamnedifIcouldhelpit.Shewasadorable,andIhatedheronsight.

That’salie.I’dhatedherfromthesecondthey’dmentionedheratthechicken

place.Itwaspettyandsmallandsilly,butthereitwas.

Mollysmirked.“Someone’sjealous.”

“Asif.”Irolledmyeyes,butIturnedsoMollycouldn’tseethenauseaonmy

face.Thispartywassuperniceofhertodoforme,andIwasn’tabouttobean

ungratefulbratforanyreason.

ImademywayontothedancefloorandgiggledwithMollyuntilLuke

appearedatmyside,adrinkinhand.

Iraisedmyeyebrows.“What’sup,cowboy?”

“Ithoughtweshouldtoast.Ifollowedyouradvice.”

IstoppeddancingandlookedupathimasMollywanderedawaywhena

friendcalledherover.Luke’sgreeneyesblazedwithaproudlightI’dneverseen

therebefore.

“What’sup?”Iasked.

“IfollowedyouradviceandstruckadealwithAmos,theownerofthebar.

Wilderisnowtheircraftwhiskey,andweworkedtogethertocomeupwitha

signaturecocktail.Iwantyoutotasteit.”

Whenheheldtheglassouttomeagain,Itookitandsippedslowly,thenheld

myhandtomylips.Itwasbeyonddelicious—sweetandmildinallthebestways,

butalsodarkandsmokywithoutbeingtooheavy.Therewasahintoffruitanda

splashofsomethingthatcoatedthebackofmythroatwithaslow,silkyburn,

whichmademewantmore.

“OhmyGod,”Imurmured.“Didyoucomeupwiththis?”

Henodded.

“What’sinit?”

“IfItellyou,I’dhavetokillyou,”hesaidwithawink,andIrolledmyeyes.

“Butit’ssortoflikeablackberryold-fashioned.Amixofsomethingnewand

slick,andsomethingclassicandtraditional.”

Whenhegavemeameaningfullook,Itookanothersip,savoringthesweet

burnofthewhiskey.“I’veneverhadanythingbetter.”

Foronce,Iwasn’tsureifIwasstilltalkingaboutthewhiskeyorifitwas

somethingmore,ifitwasallaboutthisweekherewithhimandthesepeoplewho

surroundedme.ThepeoplewhocaredsodeeplyabouttheWildersthatthey’d

gatheredforapersontheybarelyknew,justbecauseitmeantsomethingtotheir

neighbor.

Therewasalottobesaidaboutsmalltowns,andthatwasoneofthem.Maybe

Lukewasconstantlybeingsetupwithwomen.Maybeeveryonekneweveryone

else’sbusiness.Buttheywerethereforeachother.Ifsomethinghappenedor

someonedidsomethingspecial,therewasneveralackofpeopletherewho

wantedtohelportocelebrate.

Ithoughtofmyphonethathadonlyrungoncemoreinthepastcoupleofdays,

andeventhatcallhadbeenfromadoctorIdidn’tknow.Melancholyswept

throughmeatthatdepressingthought.

Lukenoddedtowardmyglass.“We’recallingthedrinkaLittleWilder.”

Ismiledathim,pushingasidemysadness.Thiswasanamazingdayforhim,

andIcouldn’tbehappiertobepartofit.“Perfect.Absolutelyperfect.”

Itookanotherswigandthenpassedtheglassforhimtoshare,buthedowned

itinoneswallowandheldouthishandforme.WhenItookit,hedraggedmeonto

thedancefloorjustasthemusicslowedandbeganadeep,slowlullaby.

BeinginLuke’sarms,Iletmyselfmeltintohim.WhenWaynehadstoppedby

therestaurantearlier,I’dbeenfilledwithsuchasenseofdreadthatIhadtoforce

myattentiononmyplatesoLukewouldn’tseehowwreckedIwas.Hedidn’tsay

athing.

Hespunmeonce,twice,thenpulledmeclose,whisperingagainstmyhair.

“It’sbeenonehellofaweek,duchess.I’llbesorrytoseeyougo.”

“Thendon’t.”

Iwasn’tsurewhatmademesayit,butLukestilledandpulledback,hishand

cuppedundermychin.

“Askmetostay,”Iwhispered.

I’dnevermeantanythingmoreinmylife,butLukelookedatmelikeI’djust

calledhimafilthyword.

“Ithoughtyoudidn’tneedamantellingyouwhattodo.”

Confused,Istaredathim,notsurewhathewastalkingabout.Ittookamoment

forthememorytoresurface,andwhenitdid,itstungmeaskeenlyasifhe’d

slappedmeacrosstheface.

“What?You’retooproudtoaskme?”Iasked.

“Ishouldn’thaveto.Comeon,duchess,bereasonable.”

“Bereasonable?”Iblinked,suddenlyawarethattheburninthebackofmy

throatwasn’twhiskeyanymore,butthefirstsignofawaveoftears.

“I’mnotaskingyoutostay.Youshouldstayonlyifyouwantto.”

Hesaiditsomatter-of-factlythatIblinkedagain,waitingfortherestofhis

explanation,butitdidn’tcome.Instead,hejuststaredatme.

Stunned,Inoddedslowly.“Rogerthat.”

Isteppedawayfromhimandslippedawaythroughthecrowd,glancingbriefly

towardDukeandMollytomakesuretheyweretoopreoccupiedtonoticewhenI

slippedoutthedoorandintotheeveningair.

SoLukedidn’twantmetostay?Fine.Thatwasperfect.Ormaybehewasjust

toostubborntoaskme.Eitherway,itdidn’tmatter.Iwasn’tgoingtouprootmy

wholelifeforamanwhocouldn’tmutterafewsimplewords.Ideservedmore

thanthat.

Lightningcracked,followedbyaslowrumbleofthunder,andIliftedmyface

totheraininhopesthatitwouldhidemytears.

I’dstupidlyputmyselfonthelineandbeenshotdown.Swallowingasob,I

glancedbackatthebarbeforeIbrokeintoajog,thankfulI’dwornmyflats.

Cometomorrowafternoon,I’dbelong,longgone.

Andapparently?ThatwasthewayLukewantedit.

ChapterSeventeen

Luke

WhenIgothomealittlewhilelater,thehousewasdarkandempty,filledwith

nothingbutthesoundofraintappingagainstthewindowsillandtheoccasional

rumbleofthundertearingthroughthehotTexasnight.

Tobehonest,Iwasn’tsurewhatI’dexpected.MaybethatCharlottehad

waitedformetheentirehoursinceshe’dleft,areadinglightperchedoverher

headinmylivingroomasshepretendedtoreadbutstaredatthefrontdoor.

Ilaughedatmyselfforeventhinkingsuchastupidthought.Ofcourse,she

hadn’tdonethat.AgirllikeCharlottewasn’tthetypetositaroundandwaitfora

guy,evenifI’daskedherto.

ShewaslikeSarah—she’dtakeaction,dowhatsheneededtoinorderto

survive.

Andthistime?Apparently,thatmeantpackinguphershitandgettingthehell

outofmyhousebeforeIcouldevenwalkthroughthedoortotrytostopher.

Which,ofcourse,Ialsocouldn’tblameherfor.

Fuck,IwouldhavegottenthehelloutofDodgeifIwerehertoo.But,damnit,

whydidIalwayshavetobetheonetobeg?Whycouldn’tshestayjustbecause

shewantedto?

Withadeepbreath,Imadeforthesmallmakeshiftbarinthecornerofthe

livingroom.ThereIgrabbedthenewestbottleofwhiskeyandpouredmyselfa

glass.

IthadbeenrainingthenightSarahlefttoo,thoughthathadbeenaflashof

summerrain.Tonightwasdifferent.Itwaswildandtorrential,fatdroplets

spatteringthedustygroundandturningitintoamudslick.

Haditrainedthemorningourmotherhadleft?

Itfeltlikeitwaspossible.

Iswiggedmywhiskey,thenthoughtagainofthelookonCharlotte’sfacewhen

she’dtastedthedrinkI’dconcocted.Itwaslikeshe’dlitup,sobrightand

animated.WhenwasthelasttimeI’dseenafacelikethat—ofsomeonewho

believedinmesomuch?Someonewhowasn’tDukeorMolly?

Thatcertainlyhadn’tbeenSarah’sexpressionwhenI’dtoldheraboutgoing

backtothedistillery.

“Yourfather?Whatthehellhasheeverdoneforyou?Youneedtostop

worryingaboutallthatandfocusonus.”

Sarahhadbelievedinherdream,butnotmine.Andintheend,wasn’tthat

whathadmadehergo?AndwithMom,wasn’tithernotbelievinginDadthathad

madeherleave?

Logically,theirchoiceshadnothingtodowithmeormydad.Buthowitfelt

...

Howitfelthadnothingtodowithlogic.

Itookanotherpullfrommyglassandsatitonastoolbeforeclosingmyeyes

andpinchingthebridgeofmynose.Again,withmyeyesclosedtotheworld,I

sawnothingbutCharlottebeamingbackatme,holdingthedrinkshe’dbeenthe

inspirationfor,evenifshedidn’tknowit.

CouldIreallythrowallthataway?CouldIlethergetintohercartomorrow

anddriveoutofmylifeforeverwithouteventellingherhowIfelt?

ItookanothersipandshookmyheadasIwassurroundedbysuddenand

completedarkness.Aflashoflightfilledtheairaslightningcrackedagain,

followedquicklybyaslapofthunder.

“Damnpoweroutage,”Imumbled,butthenIthoughtofCharlottealoneinher

roomattheinn,probablysittingindarknesswithoutanycandles.

Ioughttogocheckonher.

Iwouldn’taskhertostay.HowcouldI?EventhoughshebelievedinmeandI

caredforher,I’donlyknownherforaweek.ButIcouldtellherhowmuchI

wisheditcouldbedifferent.AndIcouldtellherhowmuchI’denjoyedher

company.Andthenmaybeshe’ddecideshewantedtostay.

WhatIknewforsurewasthatIcouldn’tletthingsendlikethis.

GrabbingafewoftheemergencycandlesIkeptinmyfoyercloset,Iheaded

forthetruckandmadequickworkofdrivingthroughtheonslaughtofrain.Theinn

wasn’tfarfrommyplace,andbeforeIknewit,Iwasparkedinfrontofthe

familiarVictorianhouseasitwaslitupbyanotherflashoflightning.

Quickly,Isnatchedupthecandlesandsprintedinside,stoppingonlytoask

Opal,theinnkeeper,forCharlotte’snewroomnumberbeforeIboundedupstairs.

WhenIhammeredonthedoor,Iheardhersqueakinsurprise.

“Charlotte?It’sme.CanIcomein?”

“No,”shemurmured,hervoicesoundinghuskyandquiet.

“Comeon.Ithastobedarkinthere,andIbroughtcandles.Justletmeknow

you’reokay.”

ThedoorswungopenandCharlotte’sfaceappeared,litbythesoftglowofa

candlesheheldbelowherface.“Opalgavemeonewhenthepowerwentout.

Honestly,howhelplessdoyouthinkIam?”

Iopenedmymouthandthenclosedit.

“Look,”Charlotteblurted,“youmadeyourselfperfectlyclear.Youdon’twant

metostayandthat’sokay,butIdon’treallywanttobeatthistodeath,youknow?I

feelkindofstupidforevenmentioningit,and—”

“Don’t.Pleasedon’tfeelstupid.Ihadanamazingtimewithyou.It’sjust—”

Icranedmyneck,acutelyawarethatOpalhadn’tmadeapeepinallthetime

we’dbeentalking,butwasclearlyabletohearusfromdownthehall.I’dbet

moneyshewaspoisedatthefootofthestairs,listening.

“Canyouletmeinsowecantalkprivately?”

Charlotteblewoutabreathandsteppedasidetoallowmein.Bythelightof

hercandle,Icouldseethathereyesweregleamingwithtears,andIfeltlikea

totalshit.

Ipacedthefloor,thenputthecandlesonthedresserbeforeturningtofaceher.

“Look,I’mnotgoingtoaskyoutostay.Imadethatmistakebeforeanditdidn’t

workoutsowellforme,butitalsocould’veworkedoutwayworse.Evenifit

hadbeenokaywithyouandmeatfirst,eventuallyyouwould’vewoundup

resentingme,andwe’dhaveendeduphatingeachother.”

“SonowI’mSarah?”Charlotte’svoiceraisedanoctave,andIcringed.

“No,that’snotwhatI’msaying.It’sjust...I’veonlyknownyouaweek,and

webothknowyoudon’tbelonghere.”Ihatedeventhinkingit,butsayingitout

loud,Iknewitwastrue.

“Whatthehellisthatsupposedtomean?”shedemanded.

“It’snotaninsult.”Iheldupmyhands.“You’rebeautifulandcultured,and

yes,youmaythinkyouwanttostayherewithaguythatyou’veonlyknownfora

week.Butwhentimegoesonandyourealizethatyou’resickoffriedchickenand

youcan’tstandthatthere’snotadecenttheaterorshoppingmallanywhere

nearby?ShadyGroveisn’tgoingtobeenoughforyou.”

“That’snottrue.”Hervoicedroppedtoawhisper.“Youdon’tknowthat.You

don’tknowmeifyouthinkthat’sallIcareabout.”

“MaybeIdon’t.Butdon’tyouthinkthatcouldbeaproblemtoo?”

Shesuckedinadeepbreathandstaredatme.Eveninthecandlelight,Icould

seethetearsslippingfromhereyes,finallybreakingfree.Myheartgavea

squeeze,andIresistedtheurgetoyankherclosetomeandtakeitallback.

“You’reright,okay?Isthatwhatyouwantmetosay?Wantingtostayhereisa

pipedream.”Shetookastepclosertome,herbottomliptrembling.“Itwasjust

sogoodbetweenus,Luke.Whatifweneverfindthatagainwithanyoneelse?”

Theverythoughtofherwithanyoneelsemademyguttense.Thethoughtofher

inanotherman’sarmsmademewanttohitsomething.

Don’tthinkaboutit,man.

“SoIcan’tstay,”sheadded.“Butdoesthatmeanwehavetospendthislast

nightapart?”

Jesus.EvenafterI’dhurther,shewantedtobewithmeonelasttime,andit

waswhatIwantedmorethananythingtoo.Toholdherinmyarmsandtakeher,to

claimherasmyown.Wewouldfittogethersoperfectly—liketwomissingpuzzle

pieces—andIwouldfeelevenworsewhenIhadtowatchherdriveawayfrom

meinthemorning.

ButifIsaidnotoheragain?IknewI’dregretitfortherestofmylife.AndI

hadenoughregrets.

Iwalkedtowardherandtuckedmyhandunderherchin,pullingherlipsto

mineuntilIcouldtastetheminty-sweettoothpasteonhertongueandtheoaky,rich

flavorofhoneyedwhiskeyonherbreath.Theperfectcombination.Theperfect

girl.

BeforeIknewit,wewerefallingbackwardontothebeduntilsheletoutasoft

sighandconnectedwiththemattress.

“Luke.”

Whenshebreathedmyname,Ikissedheragain,tuckingherhairbehindherear

asmytonguesearcheddeeperinsidehermouth,pullinghertowardme,claiming

herwithmylips.

“Comehomewithme,”Iwhispered,andshenodded,herheadtuckedunder

mychin.

Afewminuteslater,weranforthetruck,rainpeltingussidewaysassheleft

withouttakingathing.Oncewewerebackatmyplace,Iledhertomybedroom,

eachofuscarryingalitcandletoguideourpath.

Strippingdowntomyboxers,IwatchedasCharlotteshedherwetclothes.

AfterdressingherinoneofmyT-shirts,Iledhertomybed.

Ikissedherlipssoftlyinamomentsosweetandperfect,italmostdidn’tseem

real.ItfeltlikesomethingoutofoneofthosecheesyNicholasSparksmoviesthat

Mollyliked.Theraindropspeltingthewindows,thesoundofCharlotte’sshallow

breaths,thewayherlipsmetmine...Iwasn’taromantic,buttheknotinmy

throatandtheacheinmychestfeltveryreal.

Iwouldn’tmakelovetohertonight.IknewifIclaimedheragain,I’dneverlet

go.

Comemorning,itwouldbeagonytowatchherleave,butatleastI’dstillhave

mypride.Iwouldn’thavebeggedorpleaded.Shewouldn’twakeupandhateme

onedayforasking.AndI’dbeabletogoonknowingwe’dbothbeenhappyfora

time,whichwasallwe’deverwantedfromthearrangement.

Ididn’ttellherthat,though.Instead,Ipulledawayfromthekissdespite

everythinginsidemeurgingmeon,andheldhertight.

“Youokay?”Iwhispered.

“Iamnow.”

Wecurledtogetherinthedarkness,sharingpiecesofourpasts.Charlotte

spokeagainaboutheroverbearingparentsandwantingtomakeadecisionthat

wasjusthers,whileIsharedmydreamsofmakingmywhiskeyahouseholdname.

Itoldherstoriesofmymomanddad,andgrowingupinasmalltown.Shetalked

aboutthelingeringideasshestillhadforthedistillery,promisingtocallifshe

cameupwithanymore,butIsecretlyhopedshewouldn’t.

BecauseifIheardhervoiceagain?

I’dcrackfasterthanapriestataVegasstripclub.

ChapterEighteen

Luke

Irosefrombedearlythenextmorning,unabletosleepwiththeknowledgethat

todaywastheday.CreepingintothebathroomwhileCharlotteslept,Iturnedon

theshowerandwaitedforthewatertowarm.

AsIsoapedup,Ireflectedoneverythingthathadhappened.Thispastweek

hadbeenoneofthebestofmylife.Ididn’tknowit,butbeforeCharlottearrived,

I’dbeenlivinginafog.I’dwakeupearly,workallday,stressthefuckoutover

thedistilleryturningaprofitoneofthesedays,thenfallintobedexhausted.But

eversincesheshoweduphere,mymiserablelittleroutinehadbeeninterruptedin

thebestwayimaginable.

WatchingCharlotteblossomandgrowduringherstayherehadbeen

something,andIwantedtobelievethatI’dhadahandinthat.Gonewasthe

uptight,spoiledrichgirlwhoexpectedeverythingtobedoneatthesnapofher

fingers.Inherplacewasabeautiful,confidentwomanwhowaslearningtoroll

withthepunchesandmakelemondropsfromlemons.

Afterrinsingoff,Igrabbedatowelandwrappeditaroundmywaist.Swiping

atthefoginthemirror,Iscowledatthereflectionstaringbackatme.

WhatthefuckamIsupposedtodo?

Runningahandacrossmyjaw,Idecidedthatforgoingshavingtodaywouldn’t

betheworstthingintheworld.Charlottelikedmyscruff.Thethoughtmademe

crackasmile.

Butthenithitmeagainthatshewouldn’tbeherelatertostrokeherfingers

alongmyjawandtellmethatshelovedmelikethis.Thatthoughtstung.

Paddingbackintomybedroomwearingjustatowel,Igrabbedapairofjeans

andaT-shirt,dressingquietlybeforeCharlottewoke.

Curledontohersidewithasprayofdarkhairspreadacrossthepillow,she

lookedsosoftandsweetinhersleep.Smirking,Irealizedthatthewomanwas

anythingbutsoft.Awake,shewasafeistyfirecrackerwhoneverhesitatedtoput

meinmyplace.

Asifsensingmypresence,Charlotteturnedtowardme,blinkingagainstthe

sunlightstreaminginthroughtheblinds.

“Morning,sleepyhead.”

“Whattimeisit?”sheasked.

“Justaftereight.”

Sittingup,shegrabbedherphoneanddeletedacoupleoftextmessages

withoutbotheringtoreadthem.ProbablyjustherfriendinLAgivingherahard

timeaboutherlengthystopover.CharlotteandIbothknewthatWaynecouldhave

beenpressuredintohavinghercardonesooner.

“Youhungry?”Iasked.

“CanIshowerfirst?”

Inodded.“Takeyourtime.”

Thatstatementwasallwrong.Timewastheonethingwedidn’thave.But

Charlottebrushedhertangledhairawayfromherfaceandsmiledweaklyatme.

Thatsadlittlesmiletorethroughmelikeaknife.

“I’llbedownstairs,”Imurmured,headingforthedoor.IfoundDukeinthe

kitchenfixinghimselfaplateofeggs.

“What’sontheagendatoday?”heasked.

Iclearedmythroat,forcingdowntheknotthathadformed.“Charlotte’staking

offtoday.”

“Andthat’sit,huh?”

“Yeah.Guessso.”

Heslammedtheskillethe’djustwashedontothecounter.“Don’tbeadumb

fuck.She’sperfectforyou.”

Hewaswrongaboutthat.Shewaswaytoogoodforsomeonelikeme,andI

wouldn’ttrapherintosomethingshe’dregret.

“Iwon’taskhertostay.”

Heshookhishead.“Thenshowherwhyleavingwouldbestupid.”

Tinglesstartedatthebaseofmyspineasaplanformedinmymind.Ineeded

tomakeacall,andmycellwasstillinmybedroom.

“Givemeyourphone,”Idemanded.

Dukegavemethatcockycrookedgrinhealwaysworewhenhe’djust

outsmartedme,andhandedmehisphone.

GlancingtowardthestairstomakesuretherewasnosightofCharlotte,I

dialedthenumberforWayne’s.Severalringslater,Iwasalmostconvincedhis

lazyasswasn’tevenupyetwhenhefinallyanswered.

“Yup,”hesaid.

“Wayne.It’sLukeWilder.”

“WhatcanIdoforya?”

“I’vegotacrisphundred-dollarbillwithyournameonitifyoucankeepthe

Audiintheshoptoday.”

Hewasquiet,andIhadthesinkingfeelinghewasgoingtorefusetoplay

along.Dukenodded,watchingme.

“Ijustneedonemoreday,”Isaid.

“Allrightthen.I’llseeyoutomorrow,”Waynesaidandthenclickedoff.

Alittlewhilelater,Charlottecamedownstairs,herskinfreshlyscrubbedand

dewy,andherdamphairhangingdownherback.

“Waynecalledtosaythingsdidn’tgoaccordingtoplan,andhesaidtocome

bytomorrowmorning.”Sheshruggedandtookaseatatthebreakfasttable,butshe

didn’tseemparticularlyupset.

Dukesmiledatmeandtookhisplateofeggstotheotherroom,givingussome

privacy.

Todaywasmylastchancetoshowhereverythingourlifecouldbeifshe’d

onlytakeachance.Icouldn’twastethisopportunity.Maybe,justmaybe,ifI

playedmycardsright,she’dmakethedecisiontostayallonherown.

“First,I’mgoingtofeedyou,”Isaid,settingdownamugofsteamingcoffeein

frontofCharlotte.

“Andthenwhat?”

“Ithinkwecanentertainourselvesforonemoreday,don’tyou?”

•••

Afterbreakfast,Charlottetookmytruckintotowntocheckoutoftheinnandget

hersuitcase.Whileshewasgone,Igottowork,packingupapicnicbasketwhile

Mollysupervisedwithagrin.

Sofar,Ihadcheese,crackers,fruit,hotdogsandbuns,andabottleofwhite

wine.Mollywasgettingalittletoomuchjoyoutofthis,butwithoutherhelp,the

basketwouldhaveprobablyonlycontainedabottleofwhiskeyandawholebunch

ofcondoms.

Afteraddingacoupleofredplasticcupsfromthepantry,Isurveyedmywork.

Notbad.

“Passmethosenapkins,”ItoldMolly.

“Here,taketheseinstead.”Shehandedmetwoclothnapkins,andthen

switchedoutmyplasticcupsforapairofstemlesswineglasses.

WhileIgrabbedablanketfromthehallcloset,Mollydartedoff,thenemerged

fromherbedroomwithalittlepackageofsaltedcarameldarkchocolatesquares.

“Theseareyourfavorite,”Isaid.“Areyousure?”

Shenodded.“Charlottelovesthemtoo.”

Iaddedthosetothebasket,alongwithgrahamcrackersandabagof

marshmallows.

“Whereareyoutakingher?”Mollyasked.

“I’mthinkingtheswimminghole,apicnic,maybeabonfireandamovieonthe

iPadifshelikestheidea.”

Molly’sgazewentsoft.“Howsweet.It’llbelikeyourownprivateoutdoor

movie.”

“Yep.That’stheidea.”Privacywasmymaingoal,thatandshowingherallthe

pleasureslifeinasmalltownhadtooffer.

“Oh!”Mollyrantothehallcloset.“You’regonnaneedsomepillows.Maybea

couplemoreblanketstoo.”

TirescrunchingongraveloutfrontmeantCharlottewasback,andIturnedto

Mollyandhandedhertheblanket.

“Throwthepillowsandblanketsinthebackofthetruckforme,wouldyou?”

Mollynoddedandhurriedtowardthescreendoor.

Isnatchedupthebasketandonsecondthought,grabbedthewhiskeyand

condoms,tuckingthoseintoo.Afterall,amancouldneverbetooprepared.

“What’sallthisfor?”Charlotteaskedassheclimbedoutofthetruckand

handedmethekeys.

Iplacedthebasketbehindtheseat.“Justgetyourprettylittleassbackinthe

truck,andyou’llsee.”IswattedherbehindplayfullywhileMollywavedfromthe

frontporch.

“Yes,sir,”Charlottemutteredunderherbreath.

ShefiddledwiththeradiountilshefoundastationthatsuitedherwhileI

headedouttowardthespotIhadinmind.Whatweneededwasprivacy,andI

knewjusttheplace.Aboutahalfhouroutsideoftownonastretchofcountryroad

wasapieceoflandI’dlookedatbuyinglastyear.Acresofrollinghillsandshady

pecantrees,andarockybluffoverlookingtheclearest,prettiestlake.Itwas

completelysecludedwithnooneformilesaround.

Theowner,anoldmaninhiseighties,wasn’treadytosell,buttoldmeIwas

freetovisitwheneverIwantedtogofishinginthelake.Ihadalotmoreonmy

mindtodaythancatchingafewcatfish.

“Whereareweheaded?”Charlotteasked.“AmIdressedokay?”

Lookingdownatherdeliciouscreamythighsbelowapairofcut-offjean

shorts—thighsthatIhopedwouldbewrappedaroundmynecklater—Ijust

grinned.“You’reperfect.”

Alittlewhilelater,wepulleddownthehiddensingle-laneroadthatwasso

narrow,twigsandbranchesbrushedthesidesofmytruckaswedroveon.

Charlottegavemeaworriedlook.“Willyoutellmewhereyou’retakingme?

Becausethisislookingmoreandmorelikesomewhereyougotogetridofa

body.”

Chucklingather,Ifinallypulledtoastopinaclearingoverlookingthelake.“I

figuredIhadonelastdaytoshowyouallthepleasuresofthesimplelife,andI

didn’twanttowasteit.”

Shegazedoutthewindshieldtothelakebeyond,andashardasItriedto

decipherherexpression,Icouldn’tquitereadit.

Thiswasmylastshot,andIwaspullingoutallthestops.

ChapterNineteen

Charlotte

TheasshathadconvenientlyforgottentomentionthatIneededabathingsuit.ButI

couldn’tbemadbecausegettingtoseeLuke,awholelotofLuke,alltannedskin

androck-hardmuscle,madeittotallyworthit.Plus,I’dneverbeenskinny-

dipping,soIgottocrossthatoffmybucketlist.

Weplayedintheshallowsforawhile,andthenhecarriedmeoutintodeeper

waterandkissedme.Hebecamearoused,andforamomentIthoughtwemight

makeloverightthereinthelake,butwedidn’t.Instead,hedunkedmeandswam

awaylaughing,whichspawnedatwenty-minutewaterbattle.

ThenwedressedandgrabbedwhatLukehadbrought.Heledmeonahike

aroundthelake,finallyclimbinguptoarockybluffwherewecouldseeformiles.

Wespreadouttheblanketonaperfectspotandcuddledtogether,watchingthe

cloudsfloatby.Itwastrulytheperfectdayalready,anditwasbarelyevennoon.

“Yougettinghungryyet?”Lukeasked,leaningovertobrushawispofhair

awayfrommyface.

“Maybe.What’sinthatpicnicbasket?”

Smirking,hesaid,“You’lljusthavetofindout.”

Wesatup,stackinguptheoversizedthrowpillowsbehindus,andLuke

arrangedanimpressivepicnic.Wemunchedoncheeseandcrackers,andsipped

glassesofwinewhilechattingabouteverythingandnothing.

“Thisisanawfullyromanticdate,Mr.Wilder.Explaintomeagainhowitis

thatyou’restillsingle?”

Hechuckledandshookhishead.“No,you’vegotitallwrong.Thisisn’ta

date.IjustneededtogetyououtofthehousebeforethehookersthatDukehired

cameover.”

Knowinghewaskidding,Inodded,keepingmyexpressionserious.“Isee.

Goodplan.”

HetoldmeaboutthehistoryofShadyGrove,andhowhisfamilycametobe

settledthere.Welaughedandate,andthenwatchedamovieontheiPadhe’d

brought.Itwastheperfectday.

Whenthesunbegantoset,Ithoughtthatwasit,thatitwastimetopackupand

gohome.Instead,LukewenttogatherfirewoodwhileIbuiltalittlestonering

severalfeetawayfromourblanket.Oncehegotafiregoing,weroastedhotdogs

onsticksandategooeyburnedmarshmallows,chasingthemwithsipsofhis

smokywhiskey.

Icouldn’trecallatimewhenI’denjoyedsuchsimplepleasures.Assweetasit

hadbeenforMollytothrowmeagoing-awayparty,thiswasthebestwayto

spendmylastnighthere.Itfeltsoright.

“Youcold?”Lukeasked,drapingaheavyarmaroundmeandpullingmeclose.

“Alittle.”Inodded.

“I’llfixthat.”

Afterhethrewanotherlogontothefire,hestoodupandgrabbedafaded

flannelshirtfromhistruck,thendrapeditaroundmyshoulders.Theshirtwassoft

andsmelledlikehim,andIslippedmyarmsintothesleevesandbuttoneditup.

“I’mamess,”Isaid,smoothingmywavyair-driedhairintoaponytailhighon

myhead.IcouldonlyimaginewhatImustlooklike.

“Ilikeyoulikethis,”Lukemurmured,tiltingmychintowardhistokissmy

lips.

“You’rebeingawfullysweet.Areyoutryingtogetlucky?”Iwhispered,

pressingmylipstohisagain.

“Thatdepends...”

“On?”

Lukeliftedmeintohislap,settlingmeoverthefirmridgeinhispants.“Onif

youcanhandleridingthisallnightlong.”Hethrustupward,forcingthebreath

frommylungs.“BecauseIdon’tplanonstoppinguntilthesuncomesup.”

Hismouthcrashedagainstmineinahungrykiss.Thepressurebuilding

betweenmylegsdemandedattention,andIcouldn’thelpthewhimperthatfell

frommylips.

HegroanedwhenIshiftedmyhips,grippingmyasstoworkmeoverhis

strainingcockashekissedmeagain.Afterunbuttoningtheflannelshirt,Lukeletit

dropfrommyshouldersandthenstrippedoffmyT-shirtandbra.

Hiswarm,callousedpalmscoveredmybreasts,histhumbsstrokingmy

nipples.“Whatdoyousay,sweetheart?Areyoureadytoridemycock?”

Risingtomyfeet,Iquicklystrippedoutofmyshortsandunderwear.Luke

wastednotimeunfasteninghispantsandshovingthemdownhiships.Bythetime

Iwasbackinhislap,he’dalreadysheathedhimselfinacondom.

“Comehere,beautiful.Needtomakesureyou’rereadyforme.”

Whilehismouthfeastedonmybreasts—kissingandnibblingandlicking—his

handmovedbetweenuswherehediscoveredthatIwas,infact,alreadyreadyfor

him.

“Iloveitwhenyoutastelikemywhiskey.”Hegroanedagain,slidingone

fingerinsideme.

Grippinghisshoulders,Iburiedmyfaceagainsthisneck,kissingallthewarm

skinIcouldreach.“Luke...”Imoanedhisname,theneedinmyvoice

unmistakable.

Positioningmeinhislap,hepressedforwardslowlyuntilourbodieswere

joined.

“Christ...you’reperfect,”hesaid,gruntingashepumpedintome.

“Letme,”Iwhispered.

Placinghishandsonmyjaw,hebroughtmylipstohiswhileItookcontrolof

ourspeed.Irockedmyhipsinhislap,findingtheanglethatsuitedme.

Ipattedhischest.“Leanback,bigboy.”

Lukeobeyed,restingonhiselbowswhilehewatchedmewithhoodedeyes.

“Justlikethat,baby.Niceandslow.”

Underthemoonandstarswithafirecracklingbesideus,wefoundnewways

tobringeachotherpleasure.Andafterwehadbothreachedourclimax,welay

spoonedtogetherunderablanketforalongtime,hisbreathingslowandevenas

hestrokedmyhair.

IkeptwaitingforLuketoaskmetostay,waitedforhimtoaskwhatwasso

importantaboutgettingtoLA.

Buthedidn’t.

AndIdidn’tbringitup,eventhoughIfelttheweightofmysecretpressing

downonmewitheachpassingheartbeat.Becausenowthatwe’dgrowncloser,

keepingthetruthfromhimthiswholetimesuddenlyfeltvery,verywrong.

“Luke,there’ssomethingInevertoldyouaboutbackhome...aboutwhyI

left.”

“Shh.”Hestrokedmyhair.“Youdon’towemeanexplanation.Youwanteda

freshstart,right?”

Inodded,myheadstillnestledagainsthischest.Tearswelledinmyeyesat

howperfectandsweetthismanwas.He’dbaredhissoultomeinjustoneweek’s

time,andIhadn’tevenbeenbraveenoughtoreturnthefavor.Butfornow,Iknew

hewasright.Ididn’twanttosullyourlastnighttogetherbytalkingaboutPrescott

oranyoftheotherstuffinmylife.Comparedtothemanbesideme,itwasall

meaningless.

Tomorrowhadthepowertochangeeverything,soIkeptmymouthshutand

simplyenjoyedbeingwithhim.

ButIcouldn’thelpbutwonder,comemorning,wouldheaskmetostay,or

wouldheletmegowithoutafight?

ChapterTwenty

Luke

Lastnighthadbeenperfect.CharlotteandIhadlaintogetherunderthestarsuntil

themoonwashigh,butwhenthetemperaturestartedtodrop,wepackedupfor

home,makingloveoncemoreinmybed.

Thedayhadbeenfilledwithsunshineandlaughsandthehottestsexofmylife,

butintheend,ithadn’treallychangedanything.Charlottedidn’tmentionthe

future,andthoughIwonderedwhereherheadwasat,Ididn’thavetheballsto

bringitup.

IfIhad,IknewI’dprobablyendupbegginghertostay,andI’donlycometo

regretit.JustlikeIhadwithmymom,andjustlikeIhadwithSarah.Therewere

sayingsaboutthisexactsituation—aboutbeingburned,orfoolmeonce,shitlike

that—andIdidn’tcaretoseehistoryrepeatitself.

Charlotteroseearly,andImadecoffeewhilesheshowered.Whenshewas

dressed,shecamedownstairswithhersuitcase,herexpressionunreadable.She

huggedMollygood-byeonelasttimewhilemysistershotmeaquestioningscowl.

Leaveit,myexpressionsaid.

“Ready?”Iaskedaftertheyexchangedphonenumbersandpromisedtostayin

touch.

Charlottenodded.

Itossedhersuitcaseinthebackofmytruckandwegotin,thesilencehanging

aroundusnearlydeafening.

Withoutaword,DukegotinhistrucktofollowusovertoWayne’s.Heknew

withoutmysayingthatifshegotinthatcartoday,I’dbegutted.HealsoknewI’d

headovertothebaranddrinkuntilIcouldn’twalkanymore.He’dbethereto

drivemehome,andlater,tohelpmepickupthepieces.

Whenwepulledup,hershinyblackAudiwasparkedoutfront.Aswe

climbedoutofmytruck,Waynecamestrollingoutoftheshop,andanimpending

senseofdoomsettledoverme.

Thiswasit.

ChapterTwenty-One

Charlotte

WepulledtoastopinthesamedustygraveldrivewayI’dbrokendowninten

daysago.ItwascrazyhowfastmylifehadchangedsincemeetingLuke.Itwas

crazyhowdeeplyhe,hisfamily,andthislittletownhadaffectedme.

IfollowedWayneinsidetheshoptosettlemybillandcollectmykeywhile

Lukeandhisbrotherexchangedsometensewordsintheparkinglot.Ididn’tknow

whyDukewashere,maybejusttosaygood-byeonelasttime,butitfeltlike

somethingmorethanthat.Itriednottothinkaboutit.

Aftergivingmyparents’blackcreditcardahealthyworkout,therewasno

otherreasontodelay.InhalingonelastdeepbreathoffreshcountryairasI

walkedthroughtheparkinglot,Irealizedthiswasit.

WhileDukehelpedmeloadmysuitcaseintothetrunkofthecar,Wayneand

Lukestoodandtalkedattheedgeoftheparkinglot.

IcouldbarelystandtolookatLuke—ithurttoomuch.ThethoughtthatImight

bespeakingmylastwordstohimcutmetothecore.Yesterdayhadbeen

incredible,probablythebestdayofmyentirelife,butthatwasallitwas.Onelast

daytoenjoyeachotherbeforeitallcametoanendbecausehehadn’taskedmeto

stay,andIcertainlywasn’tgoingtoinvitemyselfto.

Ifhereallywantedmehere,hewouldhavemadethatclear.Lukewasn’taman

whomincedwords.

“Yousureyouhavetogo,sweetheart?”Dukeasked,drawingmeoutofmy

thoughts.

Iclosedthetrunkandturnedtofacehim.Angerandfrustrationwereetched

intohisfeatures,butIsensedallhisangerwasdirectedathisbrother,notme.

Igavehimasadsmile.

“He’sanidiottoletyougo,”Dukesaid,takingmyhandandgivingita

squeeze.“Ifyouwon’tstayforhim,stayforme.”

Hissensitivitytouchedme.I’dneverseenthesofter,moreserioussideof

Duke,butitwasobvioustherewasone.

“It’snotthatsimple,”Isaid.

“Whynot?”

Shieldingmyeyesfromthesun,Itookadeepbreath,forcingfrommythroat

thewordsIdidn’twanttosayoutloud.“Firstofall,heneveraskedmetostay.”

“Fuckingdipshit,”Dukesaidunderhisbreath.“YouknowhebribedWayne,

don’tyou?Youcould’vegottenoutofhereyesterday.”

Thatwasnewstome,butitfeltliketoolittle,toolate.“Doesn’tmatter.We

hadfun,andnowit’sover.”

LukeknewhowIfelt.I’dputmyheartouttherethenightofmyparty,asked

himtotellmetostay.Hewouldn’t,andnowitwastoolate.

ChapterTwenty-Two

Luke

AfterhandingWaynehismoney,IwatchedasDukesaidonelastgood-byeto

Charlotteandthenclimbedintohistruck.Waynewentbackinside,andthenitwas

justCharlotteandme.

“Theendoftheroad,”Imurmured,andshenodded.

Ididn’tknowwhattosay,anditseemedshedidn’teither.Ifoldedherintomy

armsonelasttime,tryingnottonoticehowperfectlyshefitthere.Therewereno

tears,nolongdrawn-outgood-bye,andnopromisestokeepintouch.Shehad

stormedintomylife,butitseemedshewasleavingwithoutthesameflair.

Ithoughtaboutkissinghergood-bye,butintheend,Icouldn’t.Isimplyhelped

herintohercar,shutthedoor,thenwatchedasshedroveoffintothedistance,my

fistsclenchedatmysidesandmystomachtightwithdespair.

Butasthatfancyforeigncardisappearedoverthehorizon,Icouldn’tshakethe

feelingthatitwastakingmyheartalongwithit.

ChapterTwenty-Three

Charlotte

IcriedallthewaythroughtherestofTexas,NewMexico,andArizona.Forthree

days,IdrovetowardLA,thinkingoverthepastweekinShadyGroveandtryingto

convincemyselfnottoturnback.

IwantedtorunintoLuke’shouseanddemandthatherealizeIwasn’tthesame

asSarah,thatthingswouldbedifferentwithmeifhe’donlygiveitachance.But

then,wheneverIwasleavingonehighwaymoteloranother,Iwouldrealizethat

myactions—nomatterhowgrand—woulddonothingtochangehismind.

Hewasatraditionalist,downtothestereotypeofbeingstuckinhisways,and

ifIthoughtIwasgoingtobetheonetochangehim?Well,Ihadanotherthing

coming.

No,LukeWilderandeverythinghestoodforwasintherearviewnow—just

likeNewYorkandPrescottandalltherestofmypast.

Suddenly,thismovedidn’tfeellikestartingoverorstartingfreshanymore.It

simplyfeltlike...settling.AsifeverymileIgotclosertoLA,Iwasgettinga

littlefartherfromwhatIactuallywanted.

IwasexcitedtoseeValentina,ofcourse,butevenwhenIfinallypulledupto

myfriend’shouse,itwaswithagrowingsenseofdoomanddespair.

Afterhaulingmysuitcasefromthebackseat,Itrudgedupthelittlestoop

outsideValentina’schicbungalowandrangthedoorbell.Inaninstant,myfriend

wasthere,alltannedwillowylimbsandlongdarkcurls,embracingmeinahug

thatseemedtogoonforever.

Which,ofcourse,onlymadethetearsIthoughtI’dmanagedtoleavebehindin

Arizonaspringbackupandreartheiruglyheads.

“What’swrong,honey?”Valentinacooedassheusheredmeinside.

Isniffledbeforefollowingher,swipingawaymytearswiththebackofmy

hand.“I’msorry.I’mbeingstupid.”

“Youaremanythings,butstupidisnotoneofthem.”Shegesturedtoherbright

whitecouchandItookaseatcarefully,wipingawayanothererranttear.“What’s

goingon?”

Iletthewholestoryspillout—or,atleast,thepartsofitshedidn’talready

know.IwasalittleashamedthatIsharedmorethanIprobablyshouldhave.

AboutthehotsexandtheburningattractionbetweenLukeandme.Aboutwhat

we’dsaidtoeachotherinourintimatemoments.Abouthowhe’dheldmeall

nightbeforeIleft,andthewayhehadn’tevenkissedmegood-bye.

Abouthowherefusedtoaskmetostay.

Throughitall,Valentinasatinraptattention,nibblingatherlong,perfectly

manicuredfingernailsandnoddinginalltherightplaces.WhenIfinallyfinished,

shesatbackandletoutawistfullittlesigh.

“Well,thatsoundslikeitwasalllongoverdue.”

“What?”Iasked.

“Thinkabouttheguysyou’vebeenwith,”shesaidwithashrug.“Youneeded

someoneoutsideyourcomfortzone.Youneededtohavealittlebrushwithreal

love.”

“ButPrescott—”

Sherolledhereyes.“Areyoureallygoingtosithereandtellme—me,your

bestfriendsincekindergarten—thatyouwereinlovewithPrescott?”

“Iwasgoingtomarryhim,”Ishotback.

“Which,I’llremindyou,hadnothingtodowithlove.Yourparentsjustwanted

toseethatyoudidn’tsquanderthattidylittleinheritanceofyours.Hewaswell

bred,justlikeyou.ForGod’ssake,thatrelationshipwasmoreliketwoanimals

matingincaptivitythanactually—”

ImadealittlechokingnoiseandValentinastoppedshort.

“What?”sheasked.

“Well,Ineveractually...PrescottandIdidn’t...”

Valentinaletoutadisgustedsnort.“Youweregoingtomarryaguyyou’d

neversleptwith?Whatisthis,theeighteenhundreds?”

Iclosedmyeyes.“Marryinghimjustseemedlikethepracticalthingtodo.We

gotalongwellandtraveledinthesamecircles.”

“God,thatisthemostdepressingreasonforgettingmarriedI’veeverheard.

I’msogladyouweren’tgoingtowriteyourownvows.Youprobablywouldhave

citedthetaxcodesthatmademarriagesuchagreatdecision.”Sherolledhereyes

again,tsk-tskingatme.“Comeon,webothknowtherealreasonyouweregoing

tomarryhim,anditwasn’tbecausehewaspracticalandrespectable.”

Iraisedmyeyebrows.

“Areyoureallygoingtomakemesayitoutloud?”Valentinasaid,andIstared

atherblankly.

AsfarasIknew,I’dgottenengagedtoPrescottbecausehe’daskedme,and

becauseitmadeacertainkindofsenseonpaper.Anythingotherthanthatwould

havebeennewstome.

“Youdon’tthinkyouwerejustsodesperatetopleaseMommyandDaddythat

youwerereadytocommityourselftotheirall-starteampickforyourhusband?”

Iscoffed.“Idon’tknowwhatyou—”

“Charlotte,Isawyouafteryourfatherturnedyoudownforthatjobathis

company.AndIwastherewhenyourmothersniffedatyourpromdateandasked

abouthislastname.Iknowwhatthosepeopledotoyou.You’renevergood

enoughforthem.ButwithPrescott,youhadachancetofinally—”

“That’snottrue,”Isaid,asickfeelingwellingupinsideme,butValentina

ignoredme.

“Prescotthadabetterfamilyname,abiggerinheritance,andaprettier

penthousethanyours.NowonderMommyandDaddyweresogung-hoaboutthis

union.Theirsocialstockwouldclimblikenobody’sbusiness.”

Ichewedonmybottomlip,notwillingtogiveinyet.God,thepersonshewas

describingsoundedsopathetic.Poorlittlerichgirl,desperateforherparentsto

loveher.Thatcouldn’tbeme.

“Myparents’approvalisimportanttome,butit’snoteverything.”

“Andthat’swhyyoumadetherightdecisionandleft.”Valentinagavemean

approvingnod.“Buttellme,whenwasthelasttimetheyreallylistenedtowhat

youthoughtorwhatyouwanted?Youcan’tgoonlikethis,justlivinglifeto

pleasethem,andtheyneedtoknowit.”

Shejerkedherheadtowardthephoneonthecoffeetablebetweenus.

“Tomorrow,youcall.Butfornow?You’vehadalongtrip.Ithinkyoushouldtake

anicehotshower,haveanap,andthenwe’llhitthetown.Comemorning,youcan

decidewhattosaytoyourparents.AndLuke.MaybeevenPrescotttoo.”

“You’retoowiseforyourowngood,”Isaid,andshelaughed.

“Igetthatalot.”

So,thatafternoon,Ididasshesuggested.Itookashowerandthenlaydownto

sleep,butwheneverIclosedmyeyes,IfeltlikeIwasinLuke’sbed,waitingfor

hiswarm,strongarmtowinditswayaroundmeandpullmeclose.Waitingfor

himtosmellmyhairandkissthebackofmyneck.Wantinghimtopullmeclose

andwhispersomethingdirtyinmyear.Waitingforsomethingthatwouldnever

comeagain.

Ofcourse,intheraremomentsIdidn’tthinkaboutLuke,Iconsideredmylife.

Mychoices.

Iwas,Iknew,adaughterofprivilege.Ihadnostudentloansandnodebtto

speakof,afancycarIhadn’tpaidformyself,andablackcreditcardIcouldwhip

outatamoment’snotice.

Butatwhatcost?

Mymother’sindignationwhenImadeachoiceshedidn’tlike.Myfather’s

continueddisapproval.TheexpectationthatIwouldcontinueintheirfootstepsby

marryingwellandraisingchildrenwhowouldlivesheltered,privilegedlivesjust

likemine,withahistoryofcoldboardingschoolsandevenchillierromances.

AndthemoreIthoughtaboutit,themoreIrealizeditwasn’tapriceIwas

willingtopay.

ChapterTwenty-Four

Luke

IthadbeenthreedayssinceCharlottehadleft,andinallthattimeIhadn’t

botheredtoleavethebarn.

Well,thatwasn’tentirelytrue.Thedaysheleft,Dukehadtakenmeintotown

andI’dgottenshit-faceddrunk.ThenIspentthenextdayinbed,pretendingtobe

hungover,butIwasreallyjustheartbroken.

Now,though?Now,Iwasdetermined.Throwingmyselfintomyworkseemed

tobethebestdistractionIcouldfind.

Ourfirstpublicunveilingwouldtakeplaceinamonth,andtherewasstillso

muchtodo,somanyeventstoplan.Myfacewasroughwithunshavenstubbleand

myeyesweredarkwithexhaustion,butintheend,Iknewitwouldbeworthit.

Thebarnwouldhousemorethanjustadistillery—itwouldbeahometowntasting

roomcompletewithspeciallightingandambience,allthetouchesthatCharlotte

hadsocarefullylaidoutforus.

IfonlyIdidn’tseeherface...feelhertouch...smellherhaireverysecond

oftheday.

She’dcomeupwithhalfthespecialtymixesforthetastingbar,theideasfor

thewhiskey-barrelpubtables,andtheburlapcoasterswiththebrandeddesignon

them.EvenasIstrungthelightsfromtherafters,Icouldrecallthewayshe’d

laughedatmewhenIaskedwhyitmatteredsomuchthatwegotEdisonbulbs

insteadoftwinklingChristmaslights.

“See?”she’dsaid.“Thisiswhyyouneedme.”

Iranmyhandovermyscragglybeard,thenclimbeddownfromtheladderand

snappedafewshots.Soon,I’dbesendingoffmyideastoinvestorstoseeifwe

couldexpandthebarn—makeitintoafull-scalegranddestination.Somethingfor

partiesandweddings.

That,Irealizedwithathudofmyheart,hadbeenCharlotte’sideatoo.

Alightknocksoundedagainstthedoorbehindme,andIturnedtofindmy

sisterleaningagainstthedoorframe.

“Wow.”Mollyletoutalowwhistle.“Dukesaidyou’dbeenhardatwork,but

Ineverimagined...”

Theplacewasprettyimpressive.I’dbuiltthetastingbarmyself,andhad

alreadyarrangedfourofthesixteenbarstoolsthatwouldbeclusteredaroundthe

wideoak-barreltables.Alanternsatinthecenterofeachtable,andasIflippeda

switch,thesoftlightoftheEdisonbulbsoverheadletmeknowthatCharlottehad

beenright.Thesoftyellowglowmadeallthedifference,especiallyonarainyday

liketoday.

“Youlikeit?”Iasked.

“Ithinkit’sperfect.”Mollynodded.“Lookslikeyouhadhelp,though.”

Iclearedmythroat,tryingtosoundcasual.“Charlotteorderedmostofit

beforesheleft.Ijusthadtosettheplaceup.”

“Ifonlyshecouldseeitnow,”Mollysaidwithapointedlook.“Ibetshe

wouldn’tbelieveit’sthesamebarnyoushowedheraroundbefore.”

“Well,shedidhaveasoftspotfortheplace.”

“She’dbeproud.”

“Yeah,Ibetshewould.”

Mollyslidontooneofthestoolsinfrontofthetastingbar.“Hey,makemea

LittleWilder,huh?”

Imadequickworkofmixingherdrink,andwhenIpasseditherway,she

liftedtheglassslightly.

“Thisonewasyouridea,right?”

Inodded.“Yeah.”

“Icantell.Traditionalold-fashionedwithalittletwistofsomethingmodern.”

“Look,Molly—”

Sheheldupahandtosilenceme.“I’mnottryingtoinfluenceyouonewayor

another.Yourlifeisyourbusiness,”shesaidwithalittlesigh.“Butifyouaskfor

myopinion,ontheotherhand—”

“WhichIhaven’t,”Iremindedher.

“Whichyouhaven’t,butifyoudid,IwouldtellyouwhatIreallythought.”She

tookasipofherdrinkandwaited,knowingthatI’dhavetoask.

“Fine.Whatdoyouthink?”

“Ithinkyou’vebeenamiserablepricksinceCharlotteleft,andyoulethergo

fornogoodreason.”

Iletoutahumorlesslaugh.“Isthatall?”

“Shehasn’tpostedevenasingleInstagrampicsinceweallwhentoWhatthe

Cluck.I’mthinkingshe’sprobablyprettymiserabletoo.”

“InLosAngeles?Agirllikeher?Idoubtit,”Isaid,althoughmyselfishheart

liftedatthethoughtthatshemightmissme.Thatevensomesmallportionofher

washurtingthewayI’dbeenhurting—eventhoughshecouldn’tpossiblybeas

hauntedbymyabsenceasIwasbyhers.

“Ithinkyouweretooquicktojudgeher,”Mollysaid.

Ishrugged.“Youweren’twithusallthetime.”

Mollysatdownherdrinkwithathunkandwaggledafingeratme.“Iwas

withyouenough,andI’vebeenaroundyouallyourlife.Don’tthinkIdon’tknow

whatyou’redoing.Isawwhathappenedattheparty.”

“Whatdoyou—”

“IwasinthecornertalkingtoDanaFrench,andIheardCharlottetellyouto

askhertostay.”

Myheartdroppedintomystomach.“Iaskedforyouropinion,notarecounting

ofthefacts.”

“Fine,then,here’smyopinion.You’readumbass.”

“Molly—”

“YouforgetthatIknewSarah.Iwasgoingtobethemaidofhonoratyour

wedding.IwastherewhenDad...”Mollyclearedherthroatandgatheredherself

beforeshecontinued.“IwasonlyaroundCharlotteforaweek,butI’mheretotell

youthatwhileyoudohaveadefinitetype,thosetwoaremostcertainlynot

interchangeablepeople.Charlottewouldneverhaveleftyoulikethat,withouta

wordrightafterDaddied.Sarahwasself-involvedandentitled.Charlotteisn’t

likethat.”

“Howwouldyouknow?”Ishotback.

“Lookaroundthisroom,”Mollysaidsimply.“Youdidn’tpayherforthis.

Charlottehelpedyououtofthegoodnessofherheart,andsheneveroncetoldyou

togiveup.”

“Thatdoesn’tchangethefactthatshe’dneverbehappyinShadyGrove,”I

said,althoughmyargumentsoundedfeeble,eventome.

“Youneverknowanythinguntilyoutry.Andyou?You’reafraidoftrying.”

Mollyshovedoffherstool,thenpulledthehoodofherrainjacketoverherhead.

“Look,IhaveafeelingthatnomatterwhatIsay,you’regoingtohavesome

argumentforme,soI’mnotgoingtowastemybreath.Ionlycametotellyouthata

lettercametodayfromaninvestorwhosawyourpicturesonline.He’scomingto

seetheplacenextweek.”

Alittlethrillofexcitementranthroughme,butitdidnothingtoassuagethe

guiltandturmoilbornebyeverythingMollyhadsaid.Whatfollowedwasatiny

grainofsomethinglikehope.

“Don’tworkyourselftodeathinhere,”Mollyadded,thenhunchedoverand

hurriedoutintotherain.

Iglancedatherhalf-emptyglassandthenreachedformyphone.Scrolling

throughmycontacts,IopenedCharlotte’sinformationandstaredatit,mythumb

hoveringovertheC

ALL

buttonforwhatfeltlikethehundredthtime.

Logically,Iknewitwasbettertocutthingsoffwithhercoldturkey.Butafter

everything,Mollyhadsaid...

Ishovedthephonebackinmypocketandheadedformytruck,myhead

whirlingwitheverythingthatneededtobedonebeforetheinvestorshowedup.It

alsospunwithallthereasonsIshouldn’tpulloutmyphoneandseeifMollywas

right.

ToseeifCharlottemissedme.

ChapterTwenty-Five

OnmyseconddayatValentina’s,Isummonedmycourageandpickedupmy

phone,findinganotherslewofmissedcallsandtexts.

None,Inoticed,werefromLuke.

Iwasgoingtohavetodealwiththeemotionsthatcamealongwiththatsoon

enough,andIwasdreadingit.Buttherewereotherthingsthatneededtendingto

aswell.ThingsIfeltmoresureofwitheverypassingminute.

Clickingopenthefirstmessage,Ilistenedasmymother’svoicepoured

throughthespeaker.“Charlotte,sweetie,youmissedyourappointmentwiththe

doctoryesterday.Youdoknowit’sveryhardtogetappointmentslikethoseat

suchshortnotice.I’llreschedule,butyoushouldknowwhatanawful

impositionthisis.”Themessageclickedoff.

No“Iloveyou,”no“Ihopeyou’resafe.”Again,noquestionaboutwhereI

was.Forthem,itwasallaboutdamagecontrol.

Well,Iwassickofbeingaliability.Withshakingfingers,Idialedmymother’s

numberandwaiteduntilherbored,upper-crusttonesfilledtheline.

“Charlotte,finally.”

“Hello,Mother.”

“Whatdaywillworkwellforthedoctor?Iassumeyougotmymessage?”

“I’mnotgoingtoanydoctor.”MyvoicewasmoreresolutethanI’deverheard

it,andIstraightenedmyshoulderstoprojectevenmore.

“Whatonearthdoyoumean?”mymothercried.“You’vehadanervous

breakdown.Youhavetoseeadoctortosetyouright.”

“Nothingiswrongwithme.”Ipulledmyblackcreditcardfrommypurseand

grippedthescissorsI’dfoundinValentina’skitcheninoneshakyhand.“Look,I

wascallingtoletyouknowthatI’msafe.Also,youshouldcontactAmerican

Expressandtakemynameofftheaccount.Icutupmycard.”

“Youdidwhat?”shegasped.

“I’vebeenthinking,andIwanttoearnwhatIget.MaybeDadwasright—

aboutmarketingandeverything.Ishouldn’twalkintoajob,butIalsoshouldn’t

walkintoacarandacreditcardeitherjustbecauseofwhoIwasbornto.”

Holdingthephonepinchedbetweenmycheekandshoulder,Isnippedthecard

inhalf,thenletoutasatisfiedsigh,feelingthestringsofmypuppeteerfalling

away.“Ihaveenoughtogetbyforawhile.Inthemeantime,I’llfindanewjob,

butIcan’ttakeanymoreofyourmoney.”

Silencereignedonthelineforalongmoment.Whenmymotherspokeagain,it

wasslowlyandcarefully,asifshewerespeakingtoaderangedperson.“Honey,

isthissomesortofWaldenthing?Areyoutryingto—Idon’tknow—onlykeep

whatbringsyoujoy?BecauseI’vereadthatbook,and—”

“Thisisn’tanythingIgotfromabook.ThisissomethingIfeeldeepdown

inside,”Isaid.“Ijustwantedtoletyouknow.”

“Weonlywantedtohelpyou.”

“Iappreciatethat,Mother.ButIneedtohelpmyselfnow.”

Ididn’tsayalltherestburninginmythroat.ThateverythingI’dbeengiven

camewithstrings,andthatI’dsuddenlyneverfeltfreer.Thattheirhelpwasjusta

formofcontrol.Whatwouldthepointbe?Itwouldonlyhurther.Shelovedmethe

bestsheknewhow,andI’dbeenawillingparticipant,happytotakewhatthey

gaveuntilnow.Nopointinbeatingittodeath.We’dallmademistakes.Thekey

wastomoveforwardasabetterme,andhopethatdidn’tdestroymyrelationship

withmyparents.

Iendedthecalldespiteherrenewedcriesformetoseeatherapistanyway.

WhenIemergedfromthebedroom,Valentinagavemeasmilesobigandwide

thatforthefirsttimesinceI’dleftLuke,Ialmostfelthappy.

“We’llstartlookingforjobsforyounextweek,”Valentinacried,“butfor

tonight?We’regoingtocelebrate.”

Shepoppedthecorkofabottleofchampagne.Foamsprayedthelivingroom

butshedidn’tcare,sheonlyletoutawhoopofcelebration.Ijoinedher,laughing

asthesudsdrippedontothefloor.

“Okay,”Isaid.“It’stimetogetourpartyon.”

WeraidedValentina’sclosetanddownedthechampagne,thentookanUberto

anearbyclub.Itshouldhavebeenfreeing—aperfectnightofdancingand

celebratingthewayI’dalwayslovedtodoinNewYork.

Butnow?NowIcouldonlylookaroundandpicturethatgoing-awaypartyat

thelittlebar,howeveryonekneweachother,andhowIwasnowsurroundedby

strangerswhodidn’tknowmeanymorethantheycaredaboutme—whichwasto

saynotatall.

Anhourintothefestivities,ItappedValentinaontheshoulder.“IthinkI’dlike

toheadout.Youcanstayifyouwant.”

Shefrowned.“Youokay?”

“Yeah,”Ilied.“Juststilltiredfromthetrip.”

Sheinsistedonleavingwithme,butshedidn’tpressforanswers.Ifeltnothing

butreliefasIclimbedintobedandpulledthecoversovermyheadahalfhour

later.

I’dtakenahugestepwithmyparents,andthathadfeltamazing.Butoncethe

euphoriahadfaded,IrealizedIstillhadagapingholeinmyheart.

Andtheonlypersonwhocouldfillitwasmorethanathousandmilesaway.

ChapterTwenty-Six

Luke

AnotherfewdayspassedandIworkedevenharder,throwingmyselfintothe

distillerywitheverythingIhad.Businesswasbooming,andtheregularorderfrom

thebarhaddoubledinthespanofaweek.Occasionally,DukeorMollywould

stopbytoseewhatwasgoingon—andtotalktomeyetagainaboutCharlotte—

butforthemostpart,thiswasmybaby.Mybigchancetomakeadifference.

Still,everynightIpulledoutmyphoneanddidwhatwasquicklybecominga

ritual.IopenedFacebook,Instagram,andTwitter,searchingforanymentionof

Charlotte,butMollywasright.Charlottehadn’tpostedanythingsincetheday

beforesheleft.

Theonlywaytoknowshewasokaywouldbetocallher.

Toaskhowshewasdoing.

Tobeghertocomeback.

Itookadeepbreath.Fordays,thisdecisionhadbeenloomingoverme.I

thoughtagainaboutmymother,trappedinamarriagethatdidn’twork.Ithought

aboutSarah,who,despiteallherpositivequalities,hadn’tcometoShadyGrove

fortherightreasons.I’dbeggedthembothtostaywhenthey’dalreadymadeup

theirmindstoleave,andCharlotte...

Wasn’tshetheonewho’dwantedmetoaskhertostay?Wasn’theraskingme

anindicationthatsheneededmyvalidation—someproofthatIreally,truly

wantedherhere?

AndIdid.

Morethananything,Iwantedherherewithme.

So,whatthefuckareyoudoingmopingaroundhere,youidiot?

Iwhippedoutmyphone,andbeforeIcouldletmyownfearsconvincemeto

changemymind,bookedmyselfatickettoLosAngeles.Itmightneverworkout,

butgoddamnit,Iwasgoingtotry.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Charlotte

Citylifewasn’thowIrememberedit.

WithinthefirstweekofarrivinginLosAngeles,I’dgottenmyselfajobasa

baristaandhadmadeacoupleofnewfriendswholikedtoparty.ButasmuchasI

triedtofitin,somethingstillstuckoutlikeasorethumb...andIwasbeginningto

thinkthatsomethingwasme.

Mymotherhadcalledafewmoretimes,tryingtoensureI’dgoseeadoctor.

MyfatherhadevencalledandinsistedthatifI’donlycomeback,Icouldworkfor

hiscompanyafterall.

ButnowthatI’dhadmyawakening,theirattemptsdidn’taffectmetheway

they’dhoped.Instead,Ilistenedtotheirconcerns,consideredeverythingthey

said,andhungupfeelingevenbetteraboutmydecisionthanIhadbefore.

Andeverysingletime,I’dwonderwithabittersweetpangifLukewouldbe

proudofme.

Ofcourse,thatthoughtoftenledmedownadarkanddangerouspath.Even

lookingatmyphonenowadayshadmescrollingthroughmycontactsanddouble-

checkingmytexts,justincaseI’dmissedamessage.

ButIknewIhadn’t.

Lukehadn’tpostedonFacebookorTwitter,andhedidn’thaveanInstagram

account.I’dstartedafewpostsofmyown,talkingaboutthewonderfulsunand

sandofCalifornia,butthendeletedthemandputawaymyphone.Iwasn’tgoingto

lietotheworldwhenIwasalreadylyingtomyself.

Californiawasbeautifulandsunnyandsandy,yes.Butitwaslonely,andthe

trafficsucked.Allthebuildingsfeltlikebigindustrialblockswithnocharmor

character,nothinglikethecutelittleshopsalongthemainstreetofShadyGrove.

IfLukecametoLosAngeles,allhewouldseewasthethinghehatedmost—

theridiculouscity-slickernonsensethatmadehimstaysofirmlyinShadyGrove

tobeginwith.Iwashavingahardtimeadmittingit,butImissedthewarmthand

charmofthatlittlespeckonthemap.

Whenmylatestshiftatthenearbycaféended,Ihungupmyapronandducked

underthecounter,punchingoutquicklybeforeIheadeddownthesidewalkand

backtoValentina’splace.

Itwasconvenient—onlyafewblocksaway—andwhenIapproached,Ifound

herputtingsomethinginmyold-but-new-to-meclunkerofacar.I’dsoldmyAudi

thedayafterIcutupmycreditcards,andstillhadn’tdecidedwhattodowiththe

moneyleftoverafterIboughtmyclunker.Myparentsrefusedtoaccepttheexcess

backsincethecarhadbeenagraduationgift,butIknewIwasn’tthatperson

anymore.IfeltlikeafrauddrivingacarIhadn’tpaidformyself.

“Whatareyoudoing?”Iasked.

Shelookedupatme,hereyeswide,remindingmeofacatthathadbeen

caughtwithitspawinthefishbowl.“Nothing.”

“Comeon,what’sup?”

“Look,I’mjust...I’mtryingtohelp.”

Iroundedthecarandpeeredinsidetoseemyownpurplesuitcaseinthe

backseat,alongsideValentina’sbrightorangeone.

“What’sgoingon?”Iasked,asizzleofapprehensionrunningthroughme.

Sheofferedmeahesitantsmile.“Okay,so...we’regoingtoTexas.”She

raisedherhandsandwiggledherfingerswithalittlesquealofexcitement.

“Surprise!”

Stunned,Istaredather.“Wecan’tgotoTexas,Val.It’sagruelingdrive.

WhichIknowbecauseIjustdroveit.Andbesides,I’vegotajob—”

“Oh,that?”shesaidwithadismissivewaveofherhand.“Iquititforyou.”

“Youwhat?”Ishouted,mystomachpitching.

Valentinasmiledalittlewider.“Yeah,Icalledthemafewminutesago,

pretendingIwasyou,andtoldthemtodaywasyourlastshiftbecauseyouhada

sickrelativeoutoftownwhoneededyou.”

Iblinked,unsureofwhattoevensaytothat.

“Oh,please,youhatedthatjob,Charlotte.Andifyouwantitsobad,theysaid

theytotallyunderstoodandyoucouldcomebackanytime.Factis,I’msickof

watchingyousitaroundandmope.IfwhatyouandLukehaveisit,likethereal-

dealtruelove?Thenyouneedtomakeaneffortforit.”

“Butwhataboutwhathewants?”

“Well,you’reclearlynothappyhere,honey.Plus,yousaidyouthinkhehasa

problemwithwomenleaving.Ifyouwanttoprovetohimhowdifferentyouare,

goingbackwouldmeantheworldtohim.”Valentinashrugged.“Soundssimple

enoughtome.Wecandriveinshiftstoshavesometimeoffthetrip,andwhenwe

getthere,I’llfindahoteltoshackupinandmakeafunvacationofit.Comeon,

sayyes.”

IlookedatthecarandflattenedmylipsintoalineasItriednottoletmy

excitementbuild.JustbecauseIwentbacktoShadyGrovedidn’tmeanthatLuke

wouldwanttoseemeonceIgotthere.

Thatfearlodgedinmythroat,soinsteadIvoicedanotherofmyfearsthat

mademealittlelesspanicky.“Doyouthinkthishunkofjunkcanevenmakeitthat

far?”

“Onlyonewaytofindout.Allyouhavetodoisgetinanddrive.”

Iglancedfromhertothesteeringwheel,thinkingofthepainfuldrivehere.I

hadn’tseenanyofthesweepingdesertlandscapeortheprettysunsets.I’dbeen

toodistractedbymytearsandtheacheinmychest.Thechancetoseeitallagain

...

Hell,whowasIkidding?ThechancetoseeLukeagain?

I’dgivejustaboutanythingforthat.

WhenIslidintothedriver’sseat,Valentinajumpedforjoy,literallyhopped

upanddownbeforeclimbinginbesideme,allsmiles.

“You’remyherorightnow.Lookatyou,allbadassandawesomeandtakinga

risk.I’msoproudofyou.”

“Calmdown,”Isaidwithachuckle.“We’regoingtochaseaboy.It’snotlike

wediscoveredthecureforcancer.”

Tobehonest,Iwasonlyplayingitcool.IfIhadmyway,I’dhavedone

somersaultsandcartwheelsalldownthestreetattheideaofseeingLukeagain.

ThiswaswhoIwantedtobeallalong—awomanwhoknewwhatshewantedand

grabbedlifebytheballs.Ijustneededalittleshovefrommybestie.

ButwhatwouldLukedowhenhesawme?Whatwouldhesay?

Jesus,whatifIgotthereandhewasn’talone?Couldhehavefoundanother

girlintheweekthatI’dbeengone?

Dreadcoiledthroughmeatthatthought,andValentinaandIdiscusseditat

lengthoverthenextseveralhours,alongwithmyspeechforLukeoncewe

arrived.Welaughedandtalkedaboutwhatwe’ddowhenwegottoShadyGrove,

andIpromisedheradaytriptoAustinsinceshe’dsacrificedsomuchformylove

life.

•••

Twodayslater,myheartstartedpoundingasIdrovethroughSanAntonio.

Valentinawokeupfromhernap,rubbinghereyesassheblinkedupatme.

“Arewegettingclose?”sheasked,hervoicestillhuskyfromsleep.

“Yup.”Mypalmssuddenlyslick,Iswipedonehandonmyshorts.

I’dbeensofocusedonhowrightthingscouldgowhenIsawLukeagain,I

hadn’treallyconsideredthealternative.Itwasonlysinkinginnowthatifhe

rejectedme,Icouldbemakingthereturndrivetomorrow...completely

heartsick.Vacationplanorno,therewasnowayIcouldstayinShadyGroveif

Lukedidn’twantmethere.Everysingleinchofthattownwasasearingreminder

ofourtimetogether.Stayingtherewouldbelikepouringsaltinawoundoverand

overagain.

Isuckedinasteadyingbreathandshotheratightsmile.“Almostthere.”

“Whatareyougoingtodowhenyouseehim?”sheasked,herdrowsiness

fadingasshegotthatrah-rahlife-coachlookinhereyes.

“I’m...”Iletoutadeepsigh,tryingtopushoutallmyfearsandnegative

feelingsalongwithit.“I’mgoingtotellhimthatI’mnotaskinghimforany

promises;I’mjustaskingforachance.ThatI’mgoingtostayandgivethisatry,

andthatnomatterwhathethinksbasedonhisex’sbehavior,Iknowthiscanwork.

I’mgoingtotellhimthatIhaven’tbeenthesamewithouthim,andthat...”

“That?”shepromptedmewhenIhesitated.

“I’mgoingtotellhimthatIlovehim.”Igroanedandsqueezedthewheelmore

tightly.“It’scrazythatweonlyspentaweektogether,butIfellhardandfast.I

can’tgoonwithoutknowingIgavethisafairshake.”

“That’smygirl.”Valentinagavemeanapprovingnod.

IpracticedmylittlespeechallthewaydowntheinterstateuntilIfinallytook

theexitthatledintoShadyGrove.Fromthere,thetriptotheWilderpropertywas

quickandeasy.MyheartthunderedasItooktheturnforthedistillery,andwhenI

reachedtheendoftheroad,myheartstoppedbeatingaltogether.

NotbecauseIsawLuke,althoughthatwouldhavedoneit.

Nope,mynormalbodilyfunctionshadceasedbecauseIwascertainthe

Mercedesparkedinthelittlevisitorlotnexttothebarnbelongedtononeother

thanonePrescottBillingsleytheSixth.

DearGod,whatthehellishappening?

ChapterTwenty-Eight

Luke

“Youcan’tbeserious,”Isaid,shakingmyheadindisbelief.

Theothermannodded,thentippedhisglasstome.“Pardonmylanguage,but

it’sbeennothingshortofafuckingdisaster.Herparentsarecallingmeeveryday

askingifI’veheardfromher,andshe’snotpickingupherdamnedphone.It’sbeen

atotalshitshow.”

“Tobeleftatthealtarlikethat,though.”Iletoutalowwhistleofsympathy.

Ithoughtithadbeenbadtohaveanengagementringreturnedtome.Butto

haveallmyfriendsandfamilyseemegetdumpedonwhatwassupposedtobethe

happiestdayofmylife?Icouldhardlyimagine.

Worseyet,Icouldn’tfigureoutwhyawomanwouldleavehim.Hewasa

decent-lookingguywithsandyhairandnice,kindeyes.Ifhewaslookingtoinvest

insomeoneelse’sbusiness,hewasclearlywelloffandgoodwithhismoney.In

thefewmomentswe’dspenttogether,he’devencrackedajokeortwo.

Iguessthatjustgoestoshowyou.Youneverknowwhatcanhappeninthis

life.

Afterthelastweek,Ishouldhaveknownthatbetterthananyone.I’dbarely

sleptawinksinceCharlotteleftme,andI’dknownshewasleaving.AllIcould

thinkofwasgettingclosetoheragain.Imaginethispoorguywithhisfiancée

jiltinghimlikethatwhenhe’dplannedonforeverwithher?Shemusthavebeena

realpieceofwork.

“Sorry,buddy.Thatsoundsreallytough.”Itouchedmyglasstohisagainand

webothtookanothersip.“Icantotallyunderstandwhyyou’dbethrowing

yourselfbackintobusinessthen.Jesus,man,”Isaid,shakingmyheadinquiet

commiseration.

“Actually,that’sonlypartofthereasonformyvisit.”Heleanedinwithasigh.

“I’mlookingforsomeone.”

ThefloorboardscreakedbehindusandIturnedinmychair,expectingtosee

Dukestrollin.WhatIsawmademenearlycoughuptheburningliquidsliding

downmythroat.

“Charlotte,”Isputtered.

ThenIrealizedIhadn’tbeentheonlyone.Themannexttomehadsaidher

nameatexactlythesametime.IglancedathimandturnedbacktoCharlotteto

findhergapingathim.

“What’sgoingon?”Iasked,mysurpriseandjoyatseeinghertemperedby

totalandcompleteconfusion.

“Speakofthedevil,”hemurmured,andCharlotte’seyebrowsinchedhigher.

Behindher,aslimwomanwiththick,darkhairedgedintotheroomandheld

upahand,wavingtomeshyly.“Hey,”shesaidinavoicericherthanI’dexpected.

“I’mValentina.AndyoumustbeLuke.”

“Uh,hi,”Isaid.“Maybeyoucouldexplain—”

Charlottestalkedtowardthemanbesidemeandfinallyseemedtofindher

voice.“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”

“Look,youmighthaveleftmebutthatdoesn’tmeanIstoppedcaring.You

postedonInstagram,soIdidsome—”

“Snooping,”shespatout,cuttingin.

“Research,”hesaid,correctingher,“andIcameheretomakesureyou’re

okay.Which,obviously,youare.”

Thistime,hiseyesfoundmineandsomethingclicked.

“Speakofthedevil.”

Iscrubbedahandovermyfaceandstoodfrommybarstool.“Thegirlyou

weretalkingaboutisCharlotte?”Iasked,andhegavemeaclippednod.“I

thoughtyouwereaninvestor—”

Charlotteletoutahumorlesslaugh.“So,youliedtohimtogettome?That’s

low,Prescott.Whoputyouuptothis?Myparents?”

“YousaidyournamewasScott,”Imuttered,mygutclenchinginshock.

Prescott?PrescottBillingsleywastheguysittingnexttome—theguywhohad

apparentlybeennothingtowritehomeabout?Exceptthatwasn’ttrueeither,

becauseshe’dbeenfuckingengagedtotheguy.Thewholetimeshe’dbeenhere,

she’dbeenengaged.Andshe’dlefthimhighanddry,justlikeSarahhaddoneto

me.Worsethanthat,Charlottehadliedtome.

“Iusethenameinbusinesssothere’snoconfusion.Myfatherisnamed

Prescottaswell.Andnobodyputmeuptoanything.”Heshookhishead,then

glancedatme.“I’msorry.Ihadn’thadachancetoexplain,andI’veneverturned

downafreeglassofwhiskey,which—consideringyouknowCharlotte—I’msure

youcanunderstand.”

Myheadspunagainastwinurgeswarredinsideme—onetoknockthisguy’s

fuckingheadofffortalkingaboutmywomanlikethat,andtheothertotearmyhair

outatthelunacyofthissituation.

“Whatthefuckisgoingon,Charlotte?”Ishouted.

Thewholetimeshe’dbeenhere,she’dbeenhiding.HidingfromPrescottand

fromherparents,andlyingtomeandmyfamilyaboutwhyshewashere.She

obviouslyhadn’tfeltthatshecouldtrustme,thatshedidn’tknowmewellenough

toconfideinme.AndhereI’dboughtatickettogotoherandtrytomakethis

work.

Honestly,Iwasn’tsurewhichpartofitstungthemost.

Littlesnippetsofmemoriesplayedthroughmymind—thewayshe’dsnapped

atmewhenI’dpressedheraboutherex,howangryshe’dbeenwhenshe’d

slammeddownherphoneinmykitchen,thewayshealwayslookedathercell

likeitwasabouttodetonateatanymoment.

“Nothingtowritehomeabout?”Iaskedquietly,andthenforcedmyselftolook

ather,wonderingifI’deverbeabletodothatagainwithoutfeelingsick.

Charlotte’sgazedartedbetweenPrescottandme,hereyesbrimmingwith

tears.“Youhavetounderstand—”

Iwasn’tinterestedinhearingit.IturnedonPrescott,nowrememberingthe

thingshe’dtoldmebeforeshewalkedthroughthedoor.He’dtalkedaboutwhata

painintheasshisfiancéehadbeen.Howhedidn’tloveher.Howhe’donlygone

afterhertomakesureshecleanedupherownmessbackhomebeforemovingon

withherlifelikenothinghadhappened.

“Whatthefuckiswrongwithyou?”Idemanded,myhandsballedintofistsat

myside.

Prescott’seyesnarrowed.“Whatthefuckiswrongwithme?What’swrong

withyou?”

“Youcouldn’tjustleaveherthefuckalone?”Igrowled.“Youdidn’tthink

she’dbeenthroughenough?”

“Ah.”Prescottnodded.“Sothat’showyouknoweachother.”

“Andwhat’sthatsupposedtomean?”

“Imeanyoufuckedher.Nottoputtoofineapointonit,”hemuttered.

AllIhadtodowasswing.Onepunchandhe’dbeonthefloor—thatwasthe

oneadvantageofgrowingupwithouthavingmoneytofixallmyproblems,I

supposed.Buthewassmallerthanme,obviouslyjustasconfused,andthefight

wouldn’thavebeenafairone.

NomatterhowmuchIwantedtoteachhimafuckinglesson.

“Don’ttalkaboutherlikethat.Orbetteryet,howaboutyoudon’ttalkabout

heratall?”Istarted,butthenCharlotte’shandwasonmychest,pushingmeback

towardthebar.

“Look,Icouldn’ttellyou,”shesaid,hereyespleading.Thensheturnedto

Prescott.“Youdidn’thavetocomehereanddothistome.”

“Dothistoyou?”Thistimeitwashisturntoletoutahumorlesslaugh.“Do

youhaveanyideawhatI’vebeendealingwith?Yourparentsarealloverme,and

Ihadtohandlethefalloutofyourbigbreakforfreedom.Theleastyoucould’ve

donewasreturnmycalls.”

Sheshookherhead,herhandstillpressedtomychestassherepliedtohim.“I

didn’twantyoutotrytoconvincemetochangemymind,”shewhispered

miserably.

“Changeyourmind?”Prescottshookhishead.“Idon’twantyouback.Your

leavingwasthebestthingthateverhappenedtome.Yousetusbothfree.I

realizedthattwosecondsafteryouleft,whenIfoundIfeltnothingbutsurprise

andrelief.ButIcan’thandlethefalloutonmyown.Youmightnotloveme,

Charlotte,butIknowyoucare.Justhelpmedealwiththismessandourfamilies.”

Herakedahandthroughhishairandgroaned.“Doyouhaveanyideawhatour

mothersareputtingmethrough?”

Asingletearsliddownhercheek.“Ididn’thurtyou?”

Prescottshookhishead.“MypridewaswoundedandIwaspissed,don’tget

mewrong,butIdon’tloveyou.Weweren’trightforeachother,andneverhave

been.Thefamilypressurewasjusttoostrongformetoseethat.”

“I—”shestarted,butIsidesteppedherandmademywayforthebarndoor.

“Well,I’mgladyouguyshaveworkedeverythingout.Haveagoodtimein

NewYork.Andlockuponyourwayout.”

IshovedthedooropenandscannedmysurroundingsforanythingIcouldhit,

somethingthatmightrelievethepressurebuildinginsideme,abouttoblow.

Becauseallthattime,Charlottehadbeenlyingtome.Allthatfuckingtime.

Fuck,runawaysmusthavebeenabletosmellmefromamileaway.Firstmy

motherandthenSarah,andnowCharlottetoo.

“Luke!”

CharlotteshoutedtomefromthebarndoorbutIwasalreadytoofaraway,and

hervoicewasnearlydrownedoutbythewhippingofthewind.

Ihadtogetbackhome,neededtotrytoreturnmytickettoLAandmoveon.

Alittlevoiceinsidemelaughed.Moveontowhat,Luke?Thenextfucking

tumbleweedthatrollsintoyourlifeandbackoutofit?

God,howcouldIhavebeensostupid?

MaybeIshouldhavegonebacktoshakePrescottBillingsleytheSixth’shand.

Imighthaveabrokenheart,buthemighthavejustsavedmefromtotal

annihilation.

ChapterTwenty-Nine

Charlotte

ThewindwhippedmyhairovermyfaceasIcalledforLukeagain,buthedidn’t

stopwalking.Infact,hedidn’tevenbothertoturnaround.

Partofmewantedtoruntheotherway.AdmitdefeatandacceptthatI’ddone

thistomyselfanddeservedwhateverhappenednext.Buttheotherpartwasso

damnedmadathimthatnothingelsematteredanymore.

Whateverhappened,heneededtohearthetruthfrommylips.Ifhestillhated

me,sobeit.AtleastIcouldgoonandtrytopiecesomesemblanceofalife

togetherwithnoregrets.

Itookonestepforward,thenstoppedasabigbluetruckrolledintothe

parkingareaandstoppednexttomysedan.Dukeclimbedfromthedriver’sseat

andblinkedatme,althoughheseemedmuchlesssurprisedtoseemethanhis

brotherhad.

“What’sthedeal?Iheardtherewasaninvestorhere?”Heglancedfrommeto

theothercarsandthengavemeaconfusedlook.“Andwherethehelldidyou

comefrom?”

“It’salongstory,”Isaid.

ThewindpickedupagainasValentinatrippedthroughthedoortojoinme.

ShestaredfromDuketomeandbackagain.

“Oh,sorry,I’lljust—”Shetriedtomove,butthenstopped.“Wait,youweren’t

wearing—”

“ThisisDuke.”Inoddedtowardhim.“Luke’stwinbrother.Luke’sgone,”I

murmured,mythroatstickingonthewords.

“Heythere,”Valentinasaidwithasmile,andwrinkledhernosewhenDuke

tippedthebillofhisballcaptowardher.“Charlotte,Prescottsayshestillwants

totalktoyou.”

“Doesithavetobethismoment?SurelyherealizesI’malittlebusyright

now?”Iaskedher,staringinLuke’swake.

“Yes,nowwouldbegood,Charlotte.”ThistimeitwasPrescottwhospoke,

pokinghisheadoutfrombehindthebarndoor.

Iletoutasighandturnedtofacehim.“I’msosorryforwhatIdidtoyou.It

wasimmatureandselfish,andyoudeservedbetter.I’mhappytodowhateverit

takestocleanupthemesswithourparentsthesecondI’mdonehere,okay?Ijust

needafewminuteswithLuke.Hewasn’tpartofanyofthis,andhe’sgotsomuch

goingonhere,tryingtogetthisbusiness—”

“That’swhatIwantedtotellyoubeforeIgotoutofyourhair,”hesaidwitha

halfsmile.“I’mnotmadanymore.IthinkIwasjustworried,andnowthatI’ve

seenyou...”Hegesturedaroundwithalittlelaugh.“NowthatI’veseenyouwith

allthisandhim,itmakesweirdsensetome.Igetit.Oddlyenough,Ithinkyou

belonghere.WhatIwantedtotellyouwasthatI’dliketoinvestinthedistillery.

AfteryouandLuketalk,I’dappreciateitifyouwouldgivehimmynumberand

askhimtogivemeacall.”

“What?”Iblinkedathiminsurprise.“Youdon’thavetodothat.You’vedone

nothingwronghere,and—”

“Believeme,Iknowthat.ButItriedyour...friend’sliquor,andIlikeit.He’s

gotsomethingspecialthatIthinkisaworthwhileinvestment.Him,thisplace...

it’sgotawholevibetoitthatIthinkcanbeahugemoneymaker.So,whenyou

workeverythingout,lethimknowthatI’llbeintouch.”Heshovedhishandsin

hispocketsandnoddedtoValentina.“Val.”

ShelookedfromPrescotttoDuke,apparentlyunsureofwhowasonwhatside,

andifsheshouldbemadatsomeoneornot.

“Thanks,Prescott,”Isaidsincerely,thelumpinmythroatgrowing.Whatever

happened,hisbeliefinLuke’sbusinessmademesofriggingproud,Icouldburst.

“You’reagoodman.”

“Andyoudon’tneedtocomeback.I’llhandlethingsinNewYork.Imostly

justcameheretomakesureyouwereokay,becausetheywerestartingtogetto

me.Yourmotherevenmentionedacult?”Helaughedandshookhishead.

“Anyway,you’reclearlyfine.”

“Ifyouneedanything,pleaseletmeknow.Idon’twanttoleaveyouholding

thebag.Thatwasnevermyintention.”

“IfIneedyou,I’llcall.”Henoddedagainandwavedagood-byetotheothers

beforeclimbingintohiscaranddrivingaway.

Iwatchedhimgo,thenturnedbacktoValentinaandDuke,whowereboth

staringatme.“IhavetogofindLuke.”

MyheartpoundedagaininpanicasIimaginedthekindofheadstarthe’d

managed.WhenImovedformycar,Dukeheldupahand.

“Inthat?”Hepointedtomybeat-upclunkerwithawince.“Isitevenstreet

legal?Wheredidyougetthatthing,ajunkyard?”

Irolledmyeyesandyankedopenthedoor.“Val,willyouentertainDukehere

andfillhiminoneverything?”

“ThatsoundslikesomethingIcouldgetbehind,”Dukesaid,hiseyesalight.

Valentina’slipsquirkedintoasmile.“Yeah,sure.Comeon,youcanpourmea

drink,”shesaid,andledhimintothebarn.

Islippedbehindthewheelandspedoffforthefarmhouse.Itwastheobvious

choice,butLukesimplyhadtobethere.Ifhewasn’t...

ThenI’dwait.He’dhavetocomehomesometime.I’dleftoncebeforewithout

tellinghimhowIfelt,andIwasn’tgoingtodoitagain.

•••

Ineedn’thaveworried.WhenIpulledupathishouse,itwastofindthefrontdoor

openandthehalllighton.

“Luke!”

Ishoutedhisnameandrushedintothehousebeforehecouldslamthedoorin

myfaceandlockit.Icalledhisnameagain,searchingthelivingroomandthenthe

kitchen.Atlast,Ifoundhimbehindtheold-fashioneddeskinhisoffice.

“Youdon’twanttodothis,Charlotte,”hesaidwithoutlookingup.Hewas

hunchedoverinthechair,apparentlyexaminingafewofthebrandingdesigns

we’dcomeupwith.

“Dowhat?Drivedayandnighttogethereandhaveyouignoreme?”Ishot

back.“Yep,you’rerightaboutthatone,andyethereIam.”

Hedidn’tlookup.“YoushouldgobacktoNewYorkwithyourhusband.”

“He’s...he’snotmyhusband,”Istammered,myhandsstartingtoshakeatthe

icychillinhisvoice.

“Onlybecauseyougotcoldfeetandlefthimatthealtar,”Lukemuttered.

“No.We’renotmarriedbecauseweweren’tmeanttobe,andIwassmart

enoughtoseeitbeforeitwastoolate.”Istalkedtowardthedeskandswipedmy

handoverthetopofit,sendingthepapersflyingintotheair.

Astheyfloatedtothefloorlikeconfetti,Lukesputtered,“Whatthe—”

Whenhefinallylookedup,Igrabbedhischin,forcinghimtomeetmygazeasI

pleaded,“Listentome.”

Hislipsthinnedintoaresoluteline,buthedidn’tpullaway.

“Icouldn’ttellyouabouthim.Atfirst,IthoughtIwasintownforsoshorta

timethatitwouldn’tmatter,andthen,well,Iwasrunningaway.Ididn’twantto

talkabouthimwithanyone,letalonewithyou.Don’tyousee?Ineededsometime

toprocessitall.Atleastgivemethechancetotellyouthewholestorynow.And

if,onceI’vefinished,youstillwantmetoleave,thenIwill.”

IreleasedLuke’schinbuthejustlookedatme,silentlywaitingformetogo

on.

Istartedinarushbeforehechangedhismind.“PrescottandImetatacharity

functionatourparents’countryclub.Heboughtadatewithmeatoneofthose

stupidbacheloretteauctions.”

Luke’smouthtwisted,buthedidn’tsayanything.

“Ilaterfoundoutthatourparentshadarrangedthingsthatway.Wetraveledin

thesamecircles,sothemoreIsawhim,themoreitseemedto...Idon’tknow,

work.Aftermydadrefusedtoletmeintothefamilybusiness,IthoughtIneededa

mantosupportmebecauseIwasn’ttalentedenough,andPrescottwasokaywith

that.Wegotalongfineandwe’refriends,but...Ineverlovedhim.Wenever

evenslepttogether.IonlyagreedtomarryhimbecauseIknewwhatwasexpected

ofme,butwhenIputonthatweddingdressatthechurchandsawmyselfinit,I

feltnothing.”

Ishookmyhead,rememberingthebone-chillingcalmI’dfeltthatday.

“IfIcouldhavecalleditoffbeforethatmoment—ifIcouldhaverealizedwhat

kindofmistakeIwasmaking—Iwouldneverhavelefthimthatway.Itwasan

awfulthingtodo.ButIdidn’trealizeuntilthen,andIcan’tfeelbadfornot

waltzingintoamarriagethatIdidn’twant.Icouldn’tbeartothinkoflivingmy

wholelifewithouteverfeeling...well,withouteverfeelingthewayIfeelabout

you.”

SilencehungbetweenusandIwaitedforLuketosaysomething,anything.But

hedidn’t.Hejuststaredatme,studyingmewithaninscrutableexpression.

“Ididn’twanttoloveyou,youknow,”Itoldhim.“Itdoesn’tmakeanysense

tospendoneweekwithsomeoneandfallsodeeplyinlovethatyoucan’tgoon

withyourlifethewayyou’dplanned,butwhenIgottothecity,allIcouldthink

aboutwasyou.Ididn’twanttogotopartieswithstrangers.Iwantedtositaround

apicnictablewithyourfamilyanddrinkwhiskeyandjust...live.Havefamily

dinners.Lieinyourbedallnightjusttalkingtoyou.”

Ichewedhardonmybottomlip.“Icameheretotellyouthat.Itfeltlike

somethingyoushouldknow,butIdon’tneedyoutoaskmetostay.Becauseno

matterwhatyoudo,I’mstayinghere.Iwasn’tgoingto.Ifyoudidn’twantme,I

wasgoingtoturntailandleave.Butyouknowwhat?Iloveithere.AndIlove

you.Ifyouwantmetoleave,you’regoingtohavetocallthesherifftogetmeout,

youunderstand?”

Thosecoolgreeneyesofhisdriftedovermeagain,andhetippedhisheadina

singlenod.“WhatifyouchangeyourmindlikeyoudidaboutPrescott?Whatif

youwakeuponedayandrealizethatthiswasn’twhatyoureallywanted?”

Itwasafairquestion,butdamn,diditcutdeep.

Itookhishandinmineandheldittightly,tryingmybestnottoburstintotears.

“BecausethisisthefirsttimeinmylifeIeverknewanythingforsure.Iknowit

downtothebottomofmysoul,andthat’snotgoingtochange.Thereareno

guaranteesinlife;youknowthat.YoucoulddecidetomorrowthatI’mnottheone

foryoutoo.Butguesswhat?Iknowthatthis...whatwehave?It’sworththerisk.

Taketheleapwithme,Luke.Iwon’tletyoudown.”

Hewasquietforsolong,Ithoughtitwasover.I’dlost.Butthenhishand

tightenedonmineandhepulledmeontohislapwithagroan.

“Everydaysinceyouleft,”hesaid,“I’vefeltlikeanidiot.Ithinkaboutyou

allthetime—I’msurroundedbyyourideasandyourbrilliance.Yousavedmy

familyandthedistillery,and...me.Ineedyoutostaywithme.I’mbeggingyou

tostay,becauseIloveyou.IwaswrongtoreactthewayIdid,andI’msorry,

baby.Ifyoueverneedtorunagain,justpromisethistimethatyou’lltakemewith

you.”

Iblinkedhard,andhekissedthetearnowslidingdownmycheek.Hismouth

movedlowerashetookmybottomlipbetweenhis,suckingonthetenderskin.My

tonguesweptouttomeethisasItrembledwithjoyandrelief.

Itwasokay.Weweregoingtobeokay.

Itmighthavebeenaninstantoranhourbeforehebrokeourkiss,butwhenhe

did,Iclearedmythroatandgrinned.

“Ihavesomemoregoodnewsforyoutoo,”Isaid.

“I’vealreadygotthebestnewsintheworld.”Hekissedmyforehead.“You’re

here.”

“Fine,thenIwon’ttellyou,”Iteased,andhegavemealittleshake.“Okay,

okay.Youhavetwonewinvestorsforthedistillery.”

“Ido?”Heraisedhiseyebrows.

“Prescottwantsin.”

Lukelookedconflictedaboutthatforamoment.“Andtheother?”

“Isoldmycar.It’snotmuch,butIdohavealittlemoneytoplaywith.Iwas

hopingIcouldcomeonaspartoftheteam?”

“Youwanttoinvestinthedistillery,”hesaidslowly,asifhecouldn’tbelieve

it.

“OfcourseIdo.Ibelieveinyou.”

Lukesweptmeupintoanotherheart-stoppingkiss.“Dammit,Iloveyou,”he

whisperedashecuppedmycheek.“Don’teverleavemeagain,duchess.”

“Inever,everwill.”

Epilogue

Charlotte

Sixmonthslater

Itdidn’ttakemelongtogetmybigfancycarback.

Itwasn’tabrand-newmodel,hadn’tevenbeenmadeinthelastfiveyears,but

itwasmine.Andevenbetter?

Thistime,Ihadearnedit.

Today,itwasdolledupwithJ

UST

M

ARRIED

inwhitepaintonthebackwindow,

andstreamersandcanstiedtothebumper.

Fromawindowinthebackroomofthebarnwe’dbeendressingin,Ilooked

outatitasIsmiledtomyself,knowingwhatmyparentswouldthinkwhenthey

finallyarrived.Butthenagain,Iwasgettingbetteraboutnotcaringwhenmymom

didherbesttowrinkleherBotoxedface,orwhenmyfathertriedtoslidemea

creditcardIdidn’tneed.

Theymeantwell.Theywerejusttryingtotakecareofmeintheirownway.

ButIcouldtakecareofmyselfnow.AndwhenIcouldn’t?Well,that’swhat

Lukewasfor.HehadmybackandIhadhis.

Valentinaopenedthedoorthatledoutside,herhandsfilledwithwildflowers.

Sincetheyspranguplikeweedsalloverthefarm,Ihadn’tbotheredtobuyany

bouquets.

“Oh!”Mollysquealedfrombehindme.“Areweputtingthoseinourhair?”

“Idon’tseewhynot.”Valentinashruggedandglancedatmeforapproval.

Ismiled.“Don’tlookatme.Idon’tcarewhatyoudowithyourhair.”

Mollysnatchedupafewbrightpinkandyellowblooms,thenrushedtothe

mirrorandtuckedthemintotheelaboratebraidcirclingherhead.Ihadtoadmit,

thecolorswentwellwiththeblush-coloredbridesmaiddresses.

“Igotsomewhiteonestoo,”Valentinasaid.

Mollyturnedaround,grinningatmeasValentinasteppedcloseandadjusted

myveil.Gently,shetuckedthesprigsinahalo-likecrownallaroundthetulle.

Whenshefinished,Ilookedinthemirrorandmybreathcaught.

Itcouldn’thavefeltanymoredifferentfrommyfirstwedding.

Lookingatmyselfwearingtheprettyantique-lacegownandwithsimple

wildflowersinmyhair...Ifeltlikemyself.LikeI’dfinallyfoundwhereI

belonged.

AndlikeIwasabouttoenterintothebest,mostamazingjourneyofmylife.

“So,explaintomeagainwhowe’rewalkingdowntheaislewith?”Valentina

asked.

“Molly’swalkingalone.Andyou’rewalkingwithDuke,”Isaidforwhatfelt

likethemillionthtime.

Eversincetherehearsaldinnerthenightbefore,thisseemedtobeapoint

Valentinajustcouldn’tgetthroughherhead...orrather,wouldn’tgetthroughher

head.

“ButMollyandDukearesiblings.Shouldn’ttheywalktogether?”Valentina

asked.“Oh,orwecoulddoathree-personsortofsandwichsetup.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Idon’tthinkyou’dallfitdowntheaislelikethat.You’rethe

maidofhonorandhe’sthebestman—youwalktogether.What’ssoscaryabout

walkingdowntheaislewithDuke,anyway?”

“Shelikeshim,”Mollysang,agrinspreadingacrossherface.

“Stopit.Idonot.I...”Valentinasearchedforthewords,butherfacewas

alreadyturningred.“Hejustmakesmeuncomfortableisall.”

“Hmm.”Inodded.“Right.Now,putsomeflowersinyourhair.It’salmost

showtime.”

Icouldhearthebuzzofconversationcomingfromoutside,andknewthatthe

wholetownwasouttherewaitingforus,forme.Ashiverofnervousnessran

throughme.Thiswasn’tonlyourfirstweddinghereattheWilderFarm,anevent

wedesperatelyneededtogowell,itwasmywedding.

Mollycameupbehindmeandputherarmaroundmyshoulders.“You’regoing

tobegreatupthere.Ijustcamefromseeingmybrother,andI’veneverseen

anybodyso—”

“Scared?”Ioffered.

“Happy,”shesaid.

Musicrangoutfromthelocalbandthatwe’dhired,andIturnedtofind

Valentinaonmyotherside,sprigsofflowerslacedthroughherhair.Shehandeda

makeshiftbouquetofwildflowerstoMollyandkepttherestforherself.

“Whataboutme?”Iaskedwithapout.

“Well...”Mollyopenedthedoorandbeckoned,andDukepeeredaroundthe

doorframewithagiantbouquetofpinkgerberadaisiesandbaby’sbreathinhis

hands.

“Mybrothersaidhisbridehadtohavethebest,”hesaidwithawink.

Iclutchedtheflowersandtookalong,deepbreathoftheirlightspringtime

fragrance.AsmallcardwastuckedintothebloomsandIsnatcheditout,reading

thewordsquickly.

Knock’emdead,duchess.I’llbeuptherewaiting.

Ismiledandtuckedthecarddownthebodiceofmydressforsafekeeping.

Thiswasit—thebigmoment.

MollyandValentinaslippedfromtheroomandIturnedagain,takingonelast

lookinthemirrorbeforethemusicchanged,signalingmyentrance.Myfather

wouldbewaitingoutsidethedoorforme,hisarmoutstretched,waitingtowalk

metowardthemanofmydreams.ThenLukewouldbethereatthegazebowiththe

minister,countingonme.

Andhecouldcountonmeallhewanted.

BecausewhenIgottohisside?Therewasnochanceofmegoinganywhere

elseinthiswholewideworld.

Momentslater,weheadedout,andthreestepsdownthegrassypathlittered

withflowers,mygazemetLuke’s.Awarmshiverracedovermyskinasthe

emotioninhiseyeshitme.I’dneverseenhimfilledwithsuchawe—orsuchsheer

happiness.AndIknewinthatmomentthatourlifetogetherwouldbebeautiful.I

couldenvisionitall—laughter,love,passion,babies,andallthesweetwhiskey

kissesIcouldhandle.

Foreverandever.

Acknowledgments

Iwouldliketosayabigol’countrythank-youtoauthorElizabethLeeforyour

guidancewiththisstory.Thankyouforprovidingsomecreativedirectionandonly

makingfunofmeafewtimeswhenIdidn’tknowtheproperterminologytouse.

Youareasweetheart!I’mblessedtocallyouafriend.

Myteamiseverythingtome,andIcouldn’tdothiswithoutyou.I’dliketo

squeezeDanielleSanchez,PamBerehulke,andAlyssaGarcia.Abigthank-youto

SarahHansenandSaraEirew,whoprovidedthebeautifulcoverdesignand

photography.Thisbookcoverisoneofmyfavorites.

IwishIcouldgiveeverysinglereaderatackle-hug!ThatishowgratefulIam

foryou.Itrulyappreciateeveryreview,read,andmentionofmybooks.

Manythanks!

AbouttheAuthor

ANewYorkTimes,WallStreetJournal,andUSATODAYbestsellingauthorof

morethantwodozentitles,KendallRyanhassoldovertwomillionbooks,and

herbookshavebeentranslatedintoseverallanguagesincountriesaroundthe

world.HerbookshavealsoappearedontheNewYorkTimesandUSATODAY

bestsellerlistmorethanthreedozentimes.Ryanhasbeenfeaturedinpublications

suchasUSATODAY,Newsweek,andInTouchMagazine.ShelivesinTexaswith

herhusbandandtwosons.

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UnravelMe

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WorkingIt

CravingHim

AllorNothing

WhenIBreakSeries

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SinfullyMine

Bait&Switch

Slow&Steady

TheRoomMate

ThePlayMate

TheHouseMate

TheBedMate

TheSoulMate

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