plik

Prologue: Epiphany

BPOV
October 31: Halloween Night
The night was unseasonably mild for late October in Forks, Washington. I leaned my head back
slightly, closed my eyes, and breathed in the night air. I felt... uneasy.
There was something indiscernible in the air tonight.
Not the cool, crisp undercurrent of autumn in the air. Not the wafting smell of neighbors' burning

leaves in the air. Not the images of shadows being cast by the blood red and golden leaves falling
from the trees -- nor the stillness of the dead, dried ones on the ground. Not the eerie rustle of the

light wind whispering in the trees. Not even the feel of the coolness of the concrete beneath me.
Although I did take in all of those things as I sat outside on the front steps of the modest, white-

framed house I was renting this semester.
This wasn't something you could easily detect with one of your five senses. Maybe it was

something you would be able to define with your sixth sense... if you believed in that sort of thing.
My new friend, Alice, certainly did. But I, Bella Swan, generally did not... although that was

changing.
Lately, I wasn't sure what I believed in anymore. I was starting to question a number of things. It

was confusing and I didn't like it. I just knew I needed to get back on track, and tonight was the
night to just finish what had started more than eight weeks ago.
Eight weeks that now felt like a lifetime ago.
It was 9:00 at night. Edward Cullen was due to pick me up at any moment.
Not surprisingly, we'd met and had become friends over the past seven weeks since my arrival in
Forks, and subsequent late-enrollment into my junior year of pre-law at tiny, but prestigious, Hale

College. As expected, Edward and I shared many classes, as he is a pre-law student as well.
Ironic... and convenient.
Despite the stellar reputation of Hale College, he had been rather perplexed as to why I would
choose to transfer from Pepperdine in sunny, lively Malibu, California, to dreary, quiet Forks.
Of course, I could not tell him the real reason. Only a handful of people knew that, and not one of
them lived in the state of Washington.
Therefore, I had fabricated a story about wanting to start a new life somewhere completely
different. It was a really lame, bullshit story, but he apparently bought it. At least he never

questioned me further.
9:07 PM: My cell vibrated, indicating I had a new text from Edward.
On my way. 5 mins. bringing some booze from dad's old stash.
now I really do feel like I'm 17 again. fuck. btw ur crazy swan.
I couldn't help but smile to myself. At least Edward was keeping a sense of humor about our
unconventional idea on how to spend Halloween night... or rather, my unconventional idea.
Since neither of us had even had a remote desire to attend any of the numerous Halloween parties
around town, we'd decided to do something just the two of us. He had suggested we just stay in,

get a little drunk, and maybe watch a movie, but I immediately had the idea that Halloween night
might actually be the perfect night to finally get the answers I still needed to finish what had

started weeks ago. However, I knew we were going to need to be in a very remote location to pull

that one off successfully.
When I had suggested maybe getting drunk in the woods somewhere instead, Edward had looked

at me like I'd lost my mind... and then he had laughed at me... hysterically.
"Swan, we're both fucking twenty-one. We don't have to go hide out in the woods like some kind

of fucking teenagers to drink... I think the last time I did that I was like... seventeen or some shit. If
you don't want to stay in at your house, then we can just hang out at mine," he had offered in

exasperation. "Besides, Alice and Jasper are going to be at Rosalie's party, so we can get drunk in
fucking peace at my house."
I knew he'd been alluding to his sister's loquaciousness.
Alice is adorable, but she sure does like to talk... a lot.
Edward and Alice live in their parents' house. Scratch that. They live in their parents' mansion.
Their parents, Carlisle and Esme, are wealthy enough to spend their time traveling the globe

almost nonstop, thus leaving their beautiful contemporary home in the care of their only two
offspring.
Since I certainly did not care to be at either of our houses for what I was planning, I'd had to think
fast on that one.
"Didn't you mention some pretty meadow... or something... where you used to go to be alone or
whatever? We could go there," I had stated -- more than asked.
Edward had looked at me strangely, but acquiesced. "Sure, Swan, we can go to the meadow, but
it's not going to be too fucking ‘pretty' this time of year. But yeah - I'll show it to you. It's actually

back that road I pointed out to you the other day."
"Oh yeah, I remember," I'd answered.
I have a photographic memory and knew exactly where the road was that he had pointed out to
me the other day in passing. It was damn-smack-in-the-middle-of-nowhere. It would be perfect for

my plan.
This was going to be the night... unbeknownst to Edward Cullen.
Oddly, now I was beginning to have second-thoughts about tonight.
I usually did not have second-thoughts or second-guess things.

That was... until the last several weeks.
Something was changing.
This whole thing was turning out to be far more complicated than I had originally thought it would
be.
That was probably why I felt that certain something in the air tonight.
I knew I was still missing vital information.

Something else was off though.
Was it me?
Things were certainly different than they had been in mid-September.
What had changed?
I just had to figure out why I felt so... conflicted.
Was it because I foolishly allowed myself to really become Edward's friend? Was it because we

shared so many classes together... and usually ended up having quite a bit of fun in them?
Was it because we kept saving each other... from our own selves?
Maybe it was because I really liked this Edward I had grown to know throughout this time. I was

having a lot trouble reconciling this man with the man I knew he very well could be.
That was why I needed some answers... from him... tonight.
9:15 PM: I caught a glimpse of Edward's silver Range Rover approaching my house, thus thankfully
breaking me out of my reverie of anguish.
I stood up, brushed off my skinny jeans and popped open one more button on my thin white
cotton blouse. Now if I leaned over at just the right angle, the top of my white lacy bra would be

visible. I fluffed up my long chestnut-brown hair and pinched my cheeks to add a little color to my
pale, porcelain-like complexion. I already had some light make-up on, but Edward is a guy and

these little things would only serve to distract him just enough that he wouldn't suspect a thing. I
only wished I could wear my favorite Christian Louboutin thigh-high boots. However, I didn't think

the four-inch heels would prove to be very practical in the woods, so I opted for my favorite
sneakers instead... not exactly sexy, but much more practical. I grabbed my black leather purse off

the step -- feeling burdened by the extra weight in it tonight.
No more questions tonight... only answers.
Edward pulled into my driveway and met me halfway on the walkway.
I caught him totally checking me out before he pretended to be suddenly interested in the front

door of my house. Guess I didn't really need to wear those sexy boots after all.
I almost always caught Edward checking me out, even when he obviously thought he was being sly.

Lately he was doing it more often.
Although this time he definitely knew he'd been busted. His cheeks reddened slightly.
"All locked up?" he said, clearing his throat and running his fingers through his coppery-bronze
hair.
It was a nervous habit of his I'd noticed the first day I met him. I couldn't help but smile at his
obvious embarrassment, not to mention his now even-messier than usual hair. There was no

denying it -- Edward really was incredibly attractive.
I tried very hard not to think of him in that way.
It wasn't easy.
Things were already confusing enough trying to maintain this friendship with him.
I looked at him standing there in his blue jeans and grey long-sleeved t-shirt. His clothes always
accentuated his muscles perfectly.
Edward is tall and lean, but his body is strong and powerful. I couldn't help but think he really did
look like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch ad... maybe even better with his coppery-

bronze ‘look-like-I-just-got-laid' hair, striking emerald-green eyes, and strong jaw line.
Standing there now, Edward Cullen was definitely beyond gorgeous.
Confusion and guilt washed over me once again. I forgot what Edward had even asked me.
"What are you going on about, Cullen?" I said, trying to recover.
Edward raised an eyebrow at me. "I was asking if you locked your front door. This may be fucking
Forks, but you still have to be careful and shit, Swan."

The many levels of irony in that statement made me laugh... out loud.
"Yeah, the door is locked," I said, rolling my eyes at him. "But I think I can take care of myself. After
all... I am armed."
I immediately froze and inwardly cringed, realizing what a really stupid thing that was to say.
Especially since I was armed... heavily-armed. And very adept at handling a multitude of weapons,

mostly thanks to Felix.
His eyes widened in surprise.
Then he seemed like he was actually getting turned on by the thought. Something flickered in his
eyes as they darkened. He shuffled uncomfortably, as did I.
The tension was palpable. Our eyes met and I saw a hunger in his. They looked primal and
animalistic. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his, because, frankly, the way he was looking at me

was alluring. I found myself wanting Edward Cullen in ways that were probably illegal.
Nothing good could come of this. I needed to change the subject and lighten the atmosphere.
"Cullen, have you been drinking already?" I said accusingly, but with a grin.
The tension was thankfully broken. Edward exhaled loudly and turned to walk towards his vehicle. I

followed.
"Nope... but I'm sure as shit starting now... so you're driving," he said as he threw me the keys over

the roof of the Range Rover.
"Fine," I replied as I caught the keys and got in on the driver's side.
While Edward was busy buckling up on the passenger's side, I swiftly slid my purse under the seat.
***************************************************************
My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, as I drove through the inky-blackness of the night.
The full moon was shrouded by a veil of clouds so the night was darker than usual.
In my peripheral vision, I watched as Edward lifted the bottle of thirty-year old Glenfiddich to his
lips and took a long drink. He shuddered slightly as he swallowed.
In this limited illumination, his profile was still achingly-beautiful.
God -- even when he was getting drunk on a two-hundred and fifty dollar bottle of scotch whiskey

he still somehow managed to look like a male model. Unbelievable.
I sighed and reached for the bottle, having not had a single drop of alcohol yet this night.
Nonetheless, I was beginning to feel somewhat intoxicated already by that indiscernible something
in the air.
Edward shifted the bottle away from me and threw me a crooked smile. "A little anxious there,
Swan? Remember -- no drinking and driving," he said jokingly. But I knew he was serious.
That was another thing confusing the living hell out of me. Edward was such a seemingly good and
caring person, especially to me. I knew he had a dark side that loved to party some and get into

fights. But the partying was no more excessive than any other pre-law college student letting off a
little steam... myself included.
And the fighting was usually due to Edward's hair-trigger temper when it came to injustices against
people unable to defend themselves.
I had witnessed one such incident myself, and knowing what I know, I found him to be incredibly

strong, fast, and agile in his fighting-style. Even Felix would've been impressed. And from what I

had been told, apparently Edward never lost a fight. He came out not only victorious and looking
like the hero, but unscathed as well.
Something had to be amiss in the information I'd been given. Could there really be an even darker
side to Edward I just had yet to witness?
I would find out tonight.
I was really starting to need that drink. Those feelings of guilt and even more confusion were

beginning to re-surface.
"Oh, shut-up, Cullen. We'll be there in a minute anyway," I said a little too sharply, grabbing the

bottle from him.
For the briefest of seconds, our hands touched and we both let out barely-audible gasps in unison.
There it was -- that inexplicable electricity that was always between us. Crazy.
I knew he felt it as well. It was just another part of this mess that left me confounded.
In the last several weeks of getting to know Edward, every touch or accidental brush of any part of
our bodies left us with that same feeling of... some form of energy - like electricity. I had discovered

whatever it was we felt when we touched could also be... comforting and soothing to us both.
There were two incidents in particular that stood out in my mind.
But I couldn't allow myself to dwell on those incidents tonight.
They were already really fucking with my reason for even being here in Forks... let alone my

ultimate plan for Edward Cullen.
Surprisingly, I found myself silently hoping and praying for some divine intervention to stop me

from my plan. Because I just somehow knew that Edward couldn't have done what I was told he
may have done. I was going to need more time. Maybe tonight wasn't the right night for my plan

after all. Strangely, that thought made me feel both better and worse. I couldn't even allow myself
to think about why that would be.
We were getting close to the hidden road Edward had pointed out to me the other day. I slowed
the vehicle and made the turn into the barely-discernable gravel that was indeed the mouth of an

old, obviously rarely-used road. I stopped for a moment and finally drank from the bottle, enjoying
the warmth of the alcohol... and waiting for it to calm my mind.
Damn - the whiskey was exceptionally good. The Cullens certainly had a taste for the finer things in
life. I had to give them that. Had we found ourselves in a different world, under different

circumstances, our families may have ended up being friends with one another. I sighed.
I took another long drink. I shuddered slightly, just as Edward had done earlier. I could feel his eyes

upon me, but I kept my gaze on the road ahead... if one could even call it a ‘road.'
"Are you sure we'll be alone up there?" I motioned forward to the narrow tunnel of blackness --

shrouded by an overgrowth of gnarled branches.
"I'm sure, Bella," Edward whispered in a voice that sounded kind of... well... sultry.
Hmmm... definitely sultry.
And... why was Edward calling me by my first name now?
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and then took another now much-needed drink. I flipped on
the high-beams before throwing the Range Rover back into drive. I started forward slowly. I

noticed an old, rusty chain lying on the ground across our path. It looked as if it had been there for

quite some time now. There were still tiny bits of shiny metal that ran along the length of the
mostly-rusted chain. They glimmered under the bright headlights as I inched over the fallen chain

and forward into the ominous blackness. The only sound was the crinkling of the freshly-fallen
leaves under the tires as we slowly drove over them. We silently passed the Glenfiddich back and

forth, each of us lost in our own thoughts. An occasional branch scraped at the windows. They
reminded me of the shriveled fingers of the dead -- warning me to stop now.
The dead.
My throat tightened.
Whatever happened tonight... there would be no going back. I would perhaps go through with my
plan as directed, or end up baring my soul to this man beside me. I knew that the Bella I was, or

the Edward he was, would cease to be after this night.
After what felt like forever -- but in reality had probably only been about ten minutes or so -- we

came upon a fallen tree blocking the entrance to a clearing. As the clouds began to disperse, the
clearing, which looked to me like a dried-up meadow of some sort, was suddenly bathed in silvery

moonlight. Everything appeared in monochrome - all black, white, and many shades of grey.
I turned the headlights off and shut down the engine.
"In the springtime... it's fucking beautiful, Bella." Edward's voice startled me a little as he spoke in a
hushed tone, breaking the silence.
As we both looked forward at the eerily-illuminated meadow, Edward slowly reached over and
placed his hand on my jean-clad knee. More electricity. But neither of us pulled away this time. He

traced the outer seam of my jeans lightly with his index finger, inching up my thigh... ever... so...
slowly. This was out of character for Edward. He had never touched me so... provocatively. I

watched his hand move along my thigh while a myriad of thoughts ran through my head.
He leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "I'll bring you back up here in the spring. There will be

wildflowers everywhere. You'll fucking love it, Bella."
Edward swore a lot, but this time, the way he said ‘fucking' made my body respond instantly. I felt

an ache and a longing deep in my core. I suddenly began to wonder what it would feel like if
Edward were to slide his hand between my thighs. Fuck.
My head was reeling now... between the whiskey, the soft touches, Edward's silken voice. I forgot
about my real reason for even being here.
I had to regain control. My heart was racing. I needed some air.
"L-let's get out," I said shakily, as I opened the door, pulling away from Edward in the process. I

heard him chuckle as I stepped down from the vehicle. I started to close the door.
"How ‘bout some music?" he purred.
He turned the stereo on before I could even answer. Instead of finding a radio channel to listen to,
he slid a CD in.
"This song reminds me of you," I heard him whisper in a too-soft voice.
I didn't think he really intended on me hearing. Was he being serious? Maybe he was really drunk?

What song could possibly remind him of me?
The music started and I froze. Fuck. Maybe Edward knew me better than I realized.
In that moment, everything became surreal.

The opening chords of ‘Blinding' from Florence and the Machine began to fill the warm night air. I

had been listening to that particular song a lot lately, but only when I was alone. There was
something in the lyrics that drew me in - spoke to me.
But how could Edward know that?
Seems that I have been held in some dreaming state.

A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake.
With lightning speed, Edward was on the driver's side, standing in front of me.
The doors were now closed, but the windows were down so I could hear the lyrics perfectly.
In that moment, I really did feel like I was in a ‘dreaming state.'
I only saw images... .
Edward taking the last drink from an almost-empty bottle... .

Edward reaching around me to throw the empty bottle onto the floor of the Range Rover... .
Edward leaning in closer to me... .I breathed in his delicious scent. It was waking me from my

‘dreaming state.'
The moonlight reflected on Edward's face as he gently pushed me up against the door. He placed

his hands, palms-down, against the vehicle on either side of my shoulders.
Our eyes met.

Something was different.
His face held an expression I had never seen on him before, but I knew what it was.
Iswallowedhard.
I had seen that look before in someone else's eyes.

There was lust... but there was something more... something deeper.
I felt something I rarely felt -- fear.

I didn't fear the lust in his eyes. It was the other emotion -- I wished I hadn't seen it -- that terrified
me.

Because I knew that if Edward looked deeply enough, he would see the same look in my eyes.
Oddly enough, I began to embrace the fear.
Fearing Edward would free me.
It wasn't a physical harm I feared.

It was the fear he unknowingly held the power to undo me.
And I wanted Edward to undo me.
He leaned into me and ran his nose softly along my neck from my collarbone to my jaw. I heard
him sigh as he breathed me in. He placed a feather-light kiss on my neck.

No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber.

Until I realized that it was you who held me under.
I was dizzy. Maybe he felt the same way, because his breathing hitched as his lips moved to my ear.
"Who are you, Bella Swan?" he whispered.
I wasn't sure if he was asking me or himself... so I said nothing.
His lips ghosted across my cheek towards my lips.
Our lips barely touching as we lightly breathed against each others mouths.

Neither of us made a move.

My God -- far stronger than any hint of scotch whiskey -- I inhaled the essence of Edward Cullen.
He was both fire and ice.

Our lips pressed together as we kissed for the first time.
He tasted like icy-hot cinnamon.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and then ran my fingers through his hair and down his
back. I slipped my hands up under his t-shirt, feeling tiny goose-bumps rise as I ran my fingertips

along his bare skin. His lean back muscles contracted under my touch.
He kissed me harder and I opened my mouth to accept him.

Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids.

Shaking through my skull, through my spine, and down through my ribs.
Our tongues met and I felt like I had never been kissed before this night.
I had never been kissed like this before. Edward Cullen certainly knew how to kiss. He was the
perfect blend of gentle and firm. I couldn't get enough of him.
I moved my hands out from under his t-shirt and lowered them to his jeans.
I ran my fingers over his oh-so-firm ass.

God - he felt divine.
I pulled him in a little closer.

He groaned into my mouth and pressed himself even further into me. Edward's ass wasn't the only
thing firm. As I moaned into his mouth, I felt Edward grow even harder.
His hands were exploring my body as well. It felt as if he were touching me everywhere at once.
Even over my jeans and blouse, my body was on fire with desire.
One minute, his fingers were traveling over my breasts, hardening my nipples instantly as he
pinched them lightly through the thin cotton and lace. Next, his hands were cupping my ass,

before he slowly slid them down the backs of my thighs.
His lips lowered to my neck again. I felt him licking and biting the tender skin softly.
I moaned again.
"Fuck. I want to feel you, Edward," I heard myself say in a shaky whisper.
I was sure he knew exactly what I meant by those words.
"Fuck... Bella," he groaned into my neck; his hips moving against mine more urgently.
Edward lifted me up with ease and I wrapped my legs around him. He pressed me back against the
door a little more roughly this time. Even through our jean layers, I could feel his massive hardness

press against my wet core. We moaned against each other's mouths at the same time, and then
my lips fell hungrily upon his.
Despite what I had said -- and was certain he heard -- he made no attempt to remove any of my
clothing... although our groping... grinding... teasing... and touching... continued unabated.
There was something very erotic about it... moving together as if we weren't fully-clothed.
And then there were the kisses.
I never wanted to stop kissing him, and it seemed he felt the same way. Our mouths hungrily
devoured each other. Tasting... licking... sucking.
I forgot why I was here. I forgot who I was.

Now I knew with clarity what that indefinable sense of something had been earlier.

It was me... on the edge of where I had been... and where I was now.
I knew there would be no turning back.

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone.

No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
Is this what love really felt like?
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
Was what I had felt in the past something different?
Deep inside, with my body and mouth still entwined with Edward's, I knew it had been.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.
Was I in love with Edward Cullen?
If so - and I knew I was - it was wrong on so many levels.
It wasn't who I was supposed to be.

Or was it?
I didn't make mistakes like this.

Mistakes -- like falling in love with Edward Cullen.
I was always in control.

Always.
But... not anymore.
I was breaking.
Who I thought I was... everything I once thought to be true... was falling apart around me.
And -- I didn't even care.

And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack.
And all around the world was waking. I never could go back.

‘Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn wide open.
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken.
Tears were streaming down my face now. Edward must have felt them. His hungry kisses slowed,
and he stopped grinding his hardness up against me.
"Don't stop," I cried while trying to press myself back into him and feel his need for me again.
He stepped back slightly and my legs slipped back to the earth.

If he hadn't still been holding me, I surely would have crumpled to the ground.
"Bella?" He looked at me with more concern than I deserved.
I looked down quickly and closed my eyes, tears still streaming.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
I wished I hadn't seen the genuine worry in his emerald eyes. It only made me feel worse.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked. I shook my head as I opened my eyes and stared at the ground through

my tears.

If he only knew... .
He had done what no other had ever been able to do -- he had broken me.
And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open.
He gently lifted my chin so he could look into my face.
"Bella, what are you hiding? I know you're hiding something from me." His eyes implored mine.
I fell limply into his arms and leaned my head against his hard chest.
He held me tightly.

His hands stroked my hair tenderly, as my tears soaked the front of his shirt.

And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open.
"Bella. look at me."
I looked up at him. What was I hiding?
I only sobbed harder as my eyes met his.
What was I supposed to tell Edward Cullen?
The truth?
And if so -- which truth?
The one I just now realized?
That I was in love with him... unconditionally and irrevocably.
Or the real truth?
That I was sent here to Forks to kill him.
That tonight my plan had been to find out his truth... and then probably kill Edward Cullen.

Chapter 1: A Choice Chosen for Me

BPOV
September 3, Friday:
"So tell me again, why you want to go back to La Push?" I asked Jacob for about the tenth time this

morning.

Having known him since we were both young children, I could always tell when he was keeping
something from me.
"Bella, it is part of my history. I was born there, and I've never even seen it. At least... not that I can
remember," Jacob answered in his best Bella-please-buy-this-bullshit voice, as he continued to

throw assorted articles of clothing haphazardly into his weekend bag.
He kept his head lowered, so I stared at his jet-black, short-cropped hair, willing him to look at me.

No luck. I exhaled - loudly.
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. The big red illuminated LED numbers informed me it was

exactly 7:07 in the morning. It was way too early for this shit. We'd been going around in circles for
the last half an hour or so.
I pulled the black bed sheet up around me to cover my nakedness and huffed my way out of Jake's

bed. I lowered the window shade a bit more to block out the California sunlight that was starting

to creep into his bedroom. Sometimes the sun in LA could be just plain annoying, particularly in
the early morning hours when your best friend/boyfriend was being purposely evasive.
"Bullshit," I mumbled, pushing past him and glancing into his bag. I instantly spied the barrel of his
gun nestled among some socks.

Just as I suspected -- this was a business trip for Jake.
"Hmmm... planning on shooting banana slugs on the beach with your Glock, Jake?" I asked
sarcastically.
Jacob stilled and then turned to face me. I knew he was finally going to tell me what was really
going on. He could never keep things from me. I, on the other-hand, was not always so

forthcoming.
He suddenly looked very serious and far older than his nineteen years.
"Aro asked me to go and check out a potential problem up there. I fly up to Seattle this evening...
I'll be staying in Seattle, but I can't tell you where... I'll have a rental car waiting for me up there.

My main business is in Seattle, but I will be spending time down in La Push as well... I'll be back on
Tuesday... That's all I can say, Bella. You know that," he said softly.
I felt guilty I had pushed him to even tell me that much.
Aro is my father. Not my biological father, but rather the man who adopted me (with his wife Jane)

almost sixteen years ago, after my real parents were killed in an automobile accident somewhere
along a dark desert highway on our way back from Las Vegas to our home in Phoenix. It had been

the night before my fifth birthday -- September 12th.
I didn't remember anything regarding the actual accident. Charlie and Renée were always traveling

back and forth between Phoenix and Vegas, presumably to make their fortune. Although from my
faded memories, I never recalled us being in need of money. I vaguely remembered a very

spacious home and lots of toys.
I had no pictures to refer to, though, so I couldn't be sure.
I had once asked my adoptive parents about that perceived inconsistency. They had shared a
knowing-glance, and then they had proceeded to tell me to not ask too many questions when it

came to my real parents. Whatever.
In any case, that particular ill-fated trip just blended in with all the others. They had almost always

taken me with them, since we had no other family that I ever knew of... until after the accident.
I did remember waking up in a hospital bed, somewhere in Arizona, and then being told I was

going to be sent to Los Angeles to live with Charlie's distant cousin and his wife, Aro and Jane
Volturi.
When I had cried and asked why I couldn't just go home, I was simply told the truth. There was no
home to go back to... my parents were dead.

The house had been sold. None of our belongings had been salvaged.
I was given nothing to remember my real family. No photos. No keepsakes.

Nothing.
I now knew that had been intentional.
I was to start my new life, with my new parents, with a clean slate.
The only thing I was allowed to keep from my past was my last name: Swan.

For a long time, I thought they did that out of some modicum of kindness.

I later found out that was not the case.
I sighed in resignation. I was certain that if Aro had asked Jacob to go, then there was no choice in

the matter. Jacob would be going to the Pacific Northwest later today. End of story.
I wrapped my arms around Jake, suddenly feeling a sense of impending doom.
"Just be careful," I mumbled into his shoulder.
Jacob tugged at the bed sheet that was still wrapped around my body, and I let it fall.
Jacob wasn't wearing a shirt, so I ran my hands along the bare skin of his incredibly-defined
abdominal muscles. Whereas some guys have six-pack abs, Jacob had eight-pack abs.

I ran my fingers up along his neck and through his short-cropped hair.

As he pushed me back towards his bed, he slipped his boxers down and kicked them off swiftly. I
fell back onto the bed, and Jake crawled on top of me.
A sense of urgency on both our parts seemed to pervade the atmosphere.
There was no foreplay. Jake positioned himself between my legs and pushed.
"I love you," he said softly as he entered me.
He said it with such sincerity that it actually made me... sad.
I murmured it back... guiltily.
Even though I did love Jacob with all my heart, I didn't think I loved him in exactly the same way he

loved me. I just wasn't sure. I had no other romantic relationships to compare it to. Although
neither had Jake, so how could he say it with such pure truthfulness?
How could he be so sure?
My movements matched his, but my mind wandered.
I ran my hands over his hairless chest and marveled at the contrast of our skin tones. Jacob's skin
was a rich russet-color, while mine was more of a porcelain ivory tone. We were so different in so

many ways.
As our almost-lifelong friendship had progressed throughout the years, we somehow ended up

falling into an intimate relationship. We were each others firsts for almost everything. Jacob was
my only lover, and I think I was probably his only one as well.
I also knew Jacob wanted to marry me eventually. He joked about it often, but I knew he was
serious. I didn't really want to marry Jacob. Hell, I didn't know if I wanted to get married at all.
But I knew both sets of our parents would be more than thrilled if we ever did marry. It would
make perfect sense to everyone... but me.
Jacob had been adopted by Aro and Jane's best friends and closest business associates, Marcus
Black and his much younger trophy wife, Heidi. They adopted Jacob when he was only six-months

old -- from La Push -- after his mother passed away, and his father had been unable to care for him,
due to a life-threatening disease.
Like me, Jacob had no siblings. Unlike me, Jacob remembered absolutely nothing from his short
former life. He only knew his story because Marcus had told him. He also told Jake that his

biological father had indeed died from his illness, a year or so after the adoption. So Jacob never
felt abandoned. He adored his adoptive parents, as they did him. Jacob was their sunshine.

He was my warmth, literally and figuratively.
I loved my adoptive parents as well. They had adored and doted on me from day one. And I'd done
everything I could to please them in return... including becoming a part of the Castleforte Project.

Not that I would have had a choice.
We all just referred to it as: The Project.
We were all agents of The Project -- a secretly-run undercover government agency, with ties to
almost every law-enforcement entity of the governments of countries around the globe.
Aro is in charge of the operations for the entire US-division.
Our missions were not nearly as exciting as Hollywood liked to make them out to be on film. There

were no high-speed car chases. There were rarely explosions or big catastrophic scenes. Not to
mention, I had yet to meet anyone in the agency as hot as that Jason Bourne-guy.
However, there were secret Swiss bank accounts, multiple passports and a range of false
identifications for each of us, martial-arts training, extensive weapons training, and lots of real

danger... including the very-real possibility of losing your life.
It just wasn't always as obvious as it was in the movies.
Once you became part of The Project, there were two main things to remember: your choices
were not your own anymore and you always obeyed orders. Always.
Jake's breath and pace quickened, so I knew he was close. I was far too distracted to really enjoy it.
But I was content to just feel close to Jake, because I still had a bad feeling about his upcoming trip

to the Olympic Peninsula.
I secretly hoped Aro would change his mind and send someone else. Wishful thinking.
Jake released into me before collapsing onto me. I held him close and traced little circles on his
back. I felt his heartbeat return to its normal rhythm.
He pushed himself up on his elbows, and his dark brown eyes met mine.
"Bells, what is it about this trip that is bothering you so much? How is it any different from the

others? How is it different from the ones you go on?" He did have a valid point there.
"I don't know, Jake," I answered honestly, "I just have a weird feeling about this one."
"Weird feeling?" Jacob scoffed. "Bells, you don't even believe in stuff like that. Are you going soft
on me?" he teased, in an attempt to lighten my mood.
I feigned indignation and pushed him off of me.
"What exactly does my dad expect you to accomplish in four days anyway? What problem needs to

be solved this time?" I asked, still curious.
He couldn't tell me any more than what he had already divulged. I was being a bitch by pushing,

but I still wanted more information. I needed more information. The feeling of apprehension was
driving me to act unreasonably.
Jacob looked away. "I already said more than I should have," he whispered.
"I know... I'm sorry," I said truthfully.
He added in a lighter tone, "Besides, I really am kind of looking forward to seeing where I spent the
first six-months of my life."
And I think -- in that moment -- he really was.

My Jake, he was forever the optimist. I couldn't help but smile at him.
He continued when he saw me smiling, "So... you want me to bring you back a banana slug from
up there?"
Banana slugs are slimy, yellow, snail-like things. I surely didn't want one of them.
I rolled my eyes at him.
"I can shoot it first, if you'd like that better?" he continued, eyes twinkling mischievously.
I rolled away from him and buried my face in the pillow. I was trying to pretend like I wasn't

amused... but I was. Jacob's goofy sense of humor was infectious.
"Bellaaaaa." He leaned over me and easily flipped me onto my back, so I had no choice but to face

him. I pretended to pout.
An especially mischievous look crossed his face, and I knew I was in trouble.
"Ohhh, are we going to be like that?" he said, warningly.
Before I could think ofagoodsmart-ass reply, he held me down with one hand and started tickling

me with the other. I squirmed to no avail beneath his strong grasp.
We had engaged in many ‘tickle-battles' over the years, and I had yet to win a single one of them.

It infuriated me since I was so competitive, even with Jacob.
Hell... especially with Jacob.
He'd only relent if I said ‘please'... and actually meant it.
I screamed and laughed simultaneously as he continued to tickle me. "S-s-stop... .ittt," I tried to say

between giggles.
I used some of my best defensive moves against him, but he anticipated and thwarted every single

one of them. Not surprising, since Felix - our firearms and martial arts trainer -- had trained us
both. Not to mention, Jake was about 180 lbs. of pure-muscle compared to my mere 110 lbs.
I prided myself on being quite athletic and in great shape, but I was certainly no match for muscle-
bound Jake.
"What's the magic word, Bella?" he demanded with a smirk, still tickling me.
He was relentless. I didn't stand a chance. I had no choice but to surrender.
"Pleaseeeee J-Jake," I squeaked out in a breathless, pained laugh.
He mercifully stopped.
I mock-pouted again, and he hugged me. "I'm sorry, Bells. You're just the weaker sex. There's
nothing you ca--"
Before he could continue, I cut him off abruptly.
"Tuesday night, buddy," I said threateningly. "We are so going to the shooting range as soon as you

step off that plane. We will just see who the ‘weaker' sex is then!"
On this one, I was more-than-confident I would win.
So was Jacob.
He threw up his hands in not-so-mock surrender. "I give. You got me on that one," he admitted.
My skill and expertise with firearms were already legendary within The Project.
My accuracy with both stationary and moving targets was almost as good as Aro's -- and his was

the absolute best. I was better than everyone else in the agency. I even had surpassed my trainer.

And, Felix had always been second to Aro.
My skills were definitely good enough to be an assassin. We all knew it was only a matter of time

before I would be asked to fulfill that role.
I was the daughter of the best assassin within the agency... and I was already second-best.
It was inevitable.
They never said anything, but I knew my parents didn't want that life for me.

They were well-aware my missions already involved being in dangerous -- and deadly -- situations.
My parents easily accepted those terms. That was the life they knew they were bringing me into

sixteen years ago.
But Jane had once told me that even though one was rarely called on for that particular mission,

there was something about killing someone -- even if the person had been evil -- that changed you.
And not for the better.
Jane stayed away from the shooting-range completely nowadays. I had the feeling she had once
been asked. Of course, she would have obeyed.Rumor had it that Jane was once as good as I

currently was.
Aro handled most of those particular missions for now. He was still the best... so far. The Project

only sent in the best for whatever the particular mission entailed.
My best talent thus far was in ‘information-gathering' and ‘document-retrieval' - both agency

terms.
I was quite stealthy in breaking complicated security codes and entering supposedly secured or

dangerous buildings. I had a real knack for it. I was both silent and quick. I either photographed the
documents we needed but couldn't take, or I took the ones that wouldn't be immediately missed.
Sometimes I was sent in to retrieve sensitive documents in times of crisis before they could fall into
the wrong hands, or just end up being ruined by fire or water.
My first mission had taken place a couple of weeks before I turned sixteen. I was sent with Felix to
retrieve sensitive documents in the flooded-aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, in the financial district

of New Orleans. Felix was there to protect me, and to carry out some precious metals -- mostly
gold -- that were being stored in various bank vaults around the city.
It had been nerve-wracking... until I had completed the mission successfully. Then I had felt pure
exhilaration. I loved my work, and I always completed my missions successfully.
I was good enough now that I almost always worked alone. Well... me and my favorite gun -- the
Glock 22.
I liked it best because I found it to be reliable and very accurate.
In fact, Jake and I both carried Glocks.
*********************************************************************
As we inched along the crowded freeway, I checked the time in my beloved red Mercedes-Benz SLS

AMG Gullwing, or as I liked to call it - my Gullwing.
Jake was fidgeting with his cell phone in the passenger seat.
Three o'clock exactly. We were stuck in the afternoon traffic on our way to Los Angeles
International Airport. What fun.

"Jake, maybe you should call Aro and tell him you're not going to make this flight. You can always

just leave tomorrow," I suggested, hoping to stall for more time until this feeling of dread passed.
Jake looked at the time on his cell and laughed, "Bells, my flight to Seattle doesn't leave until 6:15.

We have more than enough time to get to LAX."
He was right.
Besides, the decision to send Jake may not have even come from Aro.
Even though Aro directed the US-based operations, there were still people above him that even he

answered to. There was no way to know from where the original directive originated.
Since Jacob was forbidden to discuss his mission in more detail, I couldn't even begin to guess.
The many arms of The Project were spread far and wide around the world.
As we crept along slowly, I noticed Jake looking over at something through my driver's side

window.
"Look, Bells... I think you have an admirer." He nodded towards the window, grinning.
It would be next to impossible to have an ‘admirer' since my windows were tinted, but I still
looked.
There was a car next to us with an elderly man staring. No - leering at my car. He appeared to be
falling in love with it the longer he stared. If nothing else, he certainly seemed to be in some kind

of lust with it. My car tended to elicit looks of admiration or awe, but this was something else
entirely. It really was kind of comical in a creepy-sort of way, especially considering his age.
"Er, Jake... my car has the admirer... not me," I corrected.
We looked at each other and suddenly broke into peals of laughter.
Jacob always saw the humor in the silliest of things... and he always got me see it as well.
For a moment, my trepidation of Jake's imminent departure was forgotten.
"I guess being a secret agent does have its perks," I laughed, referring to my extremely-expensive
car.
And it was true. As agents of The Project, we were extremely well-compensated for putting our
lives on the line.
Jake reached over and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Then he replied, "Yeah,
Bells, it sure does... it sure does." He was smiling and looked genuinely happy. I knew Jake was

referring to me.
He went back to messing with his phone, a smile still on his face.
I took a moment and memorized that smile.
It was so... Jake.
Jake really was sunshine and warmth.
I relaxed some and reassured myself that Jacob was right. He would be back on Tuesday. We'd be

back to having fun, between missions, and just being... Jake and Bells. There really was no reason
to think that this particular mission would be any different from the others.
Little did I know that after I dropped him off at the airport that Friday afternoon, I'd never see him
again.

Chapter 2: Wrong

EPOV
September 4, Saturday:
I leaned my head back against the passenger seat headrest as Jessica Stanley continued to blow
me. It was really fucking wrong of me to continue to use her in this way, especially since I had

broken up with her... a couple of months ago.
I watched as she worked me hard and fast. Fuck. She really was exceptionally good at giving head. I

pulled her long hair back away from her face so I'd have a better view -- nothing like a good visual
to move things along. I was really fucking close anyway. Jessica glanced up at me through her long

lashes, and that did it. I closed my eyes and released into her mouth.
Fuck.
Jessica was in the process of re-applying some of that shiny lip gloss shit, or whatever the fuck it
was called, when I finally recovered enough to zip up my jeans and speak to her.
"Hey, I really have to get going. I'll talk to you... um... later, okay?" I said as I started to open the
passenger door of her car to leave.
I knew it sounded kind of harsh, but it had become our customary way of saying good-bye over the
last two months of random hook-ups.
Only this time, I was met with complete fucking silence. Goddamn it. Maybe one of my crooked
smiles would placate her so I could get the hell out of here.
Just as I looked over at her with the best fucking crooked smile I could manage, she gave me one of
her best sad, forlorn looks.This usually meant I had said or done something to upset her.
I sighed and closed the door, as I mentally prepared myself for some kind of fucking girl-drama. So
much for my quick fucking escape.
Sure, I could be a dick... but I still had a fucking heart. Even though I had totally used her to get off,
I still didn't want her to feel fucking used.
She looked at me with the most serious expression I think I'd ever seen on her and said, "Edward,
we aren't going to be doing stuff like that - or anything else - anymore." She took a deep breath

and continued, "I just want you to know Mike Newton and I are dating now. And it's not really right
for me to-"
What?
I cut her off in mid-speech. "What?" I said aloud this time. "Newton?" I snorted in disbelief.
I was kind of insulted she would go from me to Newton. Talk about trading down. I ran my fingers
through my hair in bewilderment.
It wasn't that I cared she had found someone. In fact, I'd been hoping she would meet someone
who could make her happy. But Mike-fucking-Newton irritated the shit out of me. I certainly

couldn't see him as someone who would make her life better.
We had all attended Forks High School together, and I really fucking didn't like him when we there

either. He was always competing with me. And, not to sound conceited -- though I guess it totally
fucking does -- but he just wasn't even in the same league. He couldn't keep up with me

academically, athletically, and certainly not when it came to getting girls. I think the getting girls-
thing bothered him the most. Every girl he pursued always seemed to be in pursuit of me.

I guess I must be some kind of hot, even though I sure didn't see it when I looked in the mirror. But

girls, and now women, practically fucking threw themselves at me. They couldn't get my zipper
down fast enough. I always wrapped it up though, even with Jess. I sure as fuck didn't want any

diseases, and I certainly wasn't ready to become someone's fucking dad. Christ. I shuddered at
that thought.
I'm only 21 years old, for fuck's sake. I have too much life to live first.
I want to be a lawyer someday. But I still have to finish my pre-law studies at college, get through

law school, and pass the fucking bar exam.
Incidentally, the pre-law curriculum at Hale College is fucking brutal.
This was part of the reason why I had decided to give a relationship with Jessica a try last
September, at the start of our sophomore year. We had been hooking up since high school anyway.

And we were both attending Hale College - which just happens to be an Ivy League-caliber school.
You have to be pretty-fucking smart to get into Hale.
Even though Jessica Stanley could act like a fucking idiot sometimes -- like waste her time with me
-- she really is very intelligent.
Mike Newton, on the other hand, dropped out of Port Angeles Community College after only one
semester and now worked at his dad's store. Which I guess would be okay if Jess wanted to stay in

Forks forever. But I knew she had bigger aspirations than that... just another reason why the idea
of her dating Newton was a fucking joke.
Not to mention, even though I guess Newton is an okay-looking guy, Jess is really pretty.
She deserves better than Newton. Hell, she deserves better than me.
As I was lost in thought, I suddenly realized Jess was talking nonstop. I kept my head down and
finally listened, so I could figure out what in the hell she was going on about. I'd obviously missed

quite a lot.
I finally caught up to her somewhere between, "... and I don't think you ever even loved me at all,

but I now realize you're never going to be in love with me," and, "I can't just wait around for you to
figure it out, Edward. Is that what you expect?" she said... somewhat hopefully.
I looked over at her tentatively. She was crying softly and apparently waiting for my answer.
Despite her words, I knew she would wait around for me if there was still a chance for us. But there

was no chance. I wasn't in love with Jessica... at all.
Fuck. I hated having to be a dick. I didn't like for the people I cared about to be subjected to that

side of me. And even though I didn't love Jessica, I did still care about her. I was torn on how to
answer her question.
It's like there were two Edward Cullens.
There was the clean-cut, well-mannered version - the son of a well-respected family who got

straight A's at college, excelled in athletics, and helped people out when they needed it. But then
there was the darker version - the one that swore way too-fucking much, drove too fast, whored

around (though not nearly as much as in the past), partied too much, and still got into too many
fights.
The fights, though, were usually for justifiable reasons, even though one fight a few years ago
almost ruined any possibility of me ever having a future in the legal field. Nonetheless, I didn't

regret it.
Jessica was waiting patiently for me to answer her, and clearly, there was no getting out of this

situation looking like a nice guy. Before I even opened my mouth, I knew I was going to end up

sounding like a dick. It wasn't my intention, but she would surely see it that way. I had ended up
leading her on just to satisfy my own selfish urges. I knew it was wrong all along, but I had allowed

it to continue. So, I guess I was a dick, after all.
"No, I don't expect you to wait around for me," I answered, having chosen to go with honesty.
"Did you ever love me, Edward?" she asked quietly.
I paused before answering, "I tried, Jess. I really did. I just never... I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry." I

leaned over to give her a hug since I felt bad for misleading her. But she pushed me away as more
tears streamed down her face.
"Fuck you, Edward! Just... just get the fuck away from me," she sobbed.
There was nothing else left to say or do, so I opened the door and got out.
I could still hear her sobbing and yelling obscenities that I didn't think I even knew existed (and
that's really fucking saying something), as I walked back to my silver Range Rover, parked three

spaces away from her car. There were no other cars in the student parking lot, as classes didn't
start until Tuesday.
This particular parking lot was located in a fairly secluded section of the campus grounds. That was
why we had decided to meet here when I had texted Jessica early this morning to see if she

wanted to ‘talk' this afternoon... ‘talk' having become our code word, after breaking up, for ‘let's
hook up.'
Obviously, there would be no more texting ‘talk' -- or anything else -- between me and Jessica
Stanley.
Even though a part of me was relieved it was finally really over, I still felt like shit as I drove back to
my house. I should never have kept things going after I had broken up with her back in early July. It

was a mistake to think she could handle it. Even though she'd told me she could after the first time
we had post-break up sex. I now realized she was only blowing me and fucking me still, because

she hoped I was going to have some kind of revelation that she was the one for me.
Guys just weren't like girls. We could have completely meaningless sex, even with someone we

fucking hated. We didn't even have to be attracted to them. Harry had been right in ‘When Harry
Met Sally' when he said ‘you pretty much want to nail them, too.'
Yeah -- that about summed it up.
As I continued to speed home, I put all thoughts of the Jessica-fiasco behind me. It was nearly

evening, and I still needed to shower and change clothes before heading down to La Push to meet
James for his bonfire party.
Even though James lived in Seattle, he liked to party in La Push. He had befriended some of the
Quileutes who lived down there, and he now hung out in La Push quite often.
James is an interesting character. I don't consider him a real friend; he's just a party-buddy. I met
him about a month ago at a party in some really-fucking-nice private home he is renting on Mercer

Island, in Seattle. Nobody really seems to know where James is from, or what he does, but he sure
seems to have plenty of money and throws some really kick-ass parties.
Emmett, my best friend since we were kids, and his girlfriend, Rosalie Hale, met him before I did
while they were visiting Rose's aunt on the island. Not surprising, since most of the Hales live on

Mercer Island. And yes -- Rosalie Hale is a direct descendent of the original founder of Hale
College. Obviously, she attends Hale as well, as does Emmett.

They are both going to be seniors this semester, while Alice and I are entering our junior years.

Alice, my sister, is only ten months younger than I. We have always been extremely close, even
though we have very different personalities.
Hell, we don't even look like we're related. She is a tiny little thing with dark spiky hair, big brown
eyes, and a quirky personality. I'm tall, have ‘coppery-bronze' (Alice's term - not mine) hair, green

eyes, and a... complicated personality.
Alice is artistic and intuitive. I am much more logical and analytical.
People love Alice as soon as they meet her. I guess it's because she is so personable and
approachable. Alice has a way of making people feel good about themselves, because she sees the

good in them. And she has a way of getting them to see it as well. She is a lot like my mom, Esme.
I guess I am more like my father, Carlisle. He is more reserved and introspective.
He was working as an attending physician at Forks Memorial Hospital, until Alice and I had
graduated from high school. Then he retired. Luckily, he had invested wisely and was able to retire

early. He and my mom had always wanted to travel the world.
It had been our parent's suggestion that Alice and I continue to live in the house while they

traveled. We love that house. It has always been our home. So instead of living on-campus or
finding apartments, we decided to take them up on their offer. Their only request had been that

we not throw any big parties there. That was fine with me. I didn't want fucking idiots spilling shit
and throwing up everywhere.
I sped along the driveway, through our heavily-forested property, until I reached the house. I was
surprised to see Alice's yellow Porsche 911 parked in front of the entrance. Alice didn't stay here

often anymore. She spent most of her time with her boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock.
She met Jasper our very first day of college, and they have been inseparable for the past two years.
Jasper has a townhouse in Forks, and Alice stays there most of the time. When I once teased her
about rarely being home, she had simply stated that staying at Jasper's place just made getting to

class more convenient. The Hale College campus is located just north of the Forks city limits. So I
suppose she had a point. Right. Alice is just in love. I washappy for her though, because Jasper

really is a stand-up guy.
As I entered our house, I saw Alice sitting on the bottom step of the staircase, looking

uncharacteristically-tired and worried.
"You and Jasper have a fight?" I asked softly.
Alice looked up at me and frowned, "No. Actually, Edward, I came here to talk to you about...
something. And I want you to promise me you'll listen and give it some consideration."
Well this should be interesting.
I raised my eyebrows questioningly.
Alice continued, "It's about that James-guy, Edward. I had a really bad dream last night... that he
was fighting with you on those cliffs down at La Push... and something really terrible happened.

But I can't remember what exactly. I just know it ended badly... I woke up crying. So, I really don't
think you should go to his bonfire party tonight. Please just stay here. We can watch a movie or

something."
I thought about it for a moment... or two. Alice's dreams weren't like most people's dreams. A lot

of her dreams came true in some manifestation or another. It was really fucking freaky.

If Alice had felt strongly enough about her dream to drive out here to warn me, I really owed it to

her to give not going some consideration. The only problem was that I really wanted to go. It was
the last weekend before classes resumed. And after the Jess incident, I really needed to blow off

some fucking steam.
"Alice, I doubt I'd ever get into a fight with James. I mean, I hardly know him. Besides, he's really

too laid-back to be much of a fighter," I said in an attempt to allay her fears.
I continued, "And, I'm a little offended you have so little faith in your dear brother's fighting skills.

Maybe I'll have to start something just to prove you wrong--"
She quickly cut me off. "Edward, this is not a joke," she said, brow furrowed.
"Emmett is going to be there as well. So I hardly think you have anything to be worried about.
There's not going to be any fighting. We all just want to have a good time," I said soothingly.
Emmett is very tall and extremely muscular. He is fucking huge, and he can be quite intimidating.
Additionally, he does know how to fight.
Nobody ever fucking messed with Emmett.
Even I wouldn't want to get into it with him.
Alice still looked skeptical, but relented. "I guess, Edward. Just promise me you'll make Emmett
bring you back early. I'm staying here tonight, so I'm waiting up until you get home safely."
"Okay, Mom," I answered mockingly.
"I'm serious, Edward." I was sure she was.
I went over to my little sister and pulled her into a big hug.
"Don't worry, little sis. I'll be home by midnight."
And when I said it, I really meant it.
*********************************************************************
As Emmett and I walked from his Jeep towards the cliffs, his cell started to buzz... again.
"Fucking Rosalie," he mumbled as he hit the ‘ignore' button.
Apparently, Rose and Emmett had some kind of big fight before he left to come and pick me up.
She kept calling his cell phone about every ten fucking minutes throughout the entire drive here,

leaving numerous voicemails threatening that he'd ‘better get his ass back to their house,' or else
she would be ‘leaving his sorry-ass.' Or so I had gathered from the bits of her screaming voice I

could hear as Emmett listened to parts of each voicemail before promptly deleting each one. I
really couldn't understand why he didn't just turn off his fucking phone, or at least not listen to the

screeching voicemails. I think a part of Emmett got off on Rose's dramatics. Rosalie is stunningly-
gorgeous, but that shit would drive me fucking crazy.
We made our way through the thick forest and came out at the highest point of the cliffs. There
was a small, flat clearing near the edge where James had built a fairly substantial bonfire. Everyone

was seated around the bonfire in the middle of the clearing, drinking beer, talking, and laughing.
Only a few people had been invited to this particular little gathering: a few of the Quileutes that

we all knew and liked, Emmett, and myself.
No girls had been invited.
It was a guys-night-out, so to speak. That was probably why Rose was so pissed off, now that I
thought about it.

As we approached the group, I noticed there was one person there that I didn't recognize at all. A

guy who looked like he could be one of the Quileutes, with his tan-colored skin and black hair. But I
had never seen him before in my life. And I pretty much knew all the Quileutes who were in our

age group.
He was seated between James and a guy named Sam Uley. When Emmett and I reached the

bonfire, we said our ‘heys' to all the guys sitting around the fire.
Then I reached my hand out and introduced myself to the stranger. "I don't think we've met. I'm

Edward Cullen."
"I'm Jacob, good to meet you," he replied back in a friendly voice, shaking my hand firmly.
He seemed like a decent enough guy. I wondered why I had never seen him around before tonight.
I surmised he was probably in town visiting one of the Quileutes.
Emmett introduced himself as well, before we sat down around the bonfire with the rest of the
group. James passed me an unopened bottle of thirty-year old Glenfiddich -- my drink of choice.

My man was always thinking one step ahead. I nodded at him in appreciation as I raised the bottle
to him.
Most everyone else was drinking bottled beer, and James passed one to Emmett.
"Thanks, man. This will have to be my only one. I'm the designated driver here tonight," Emmett

explained.
"Understood," James answered coolly as he lit up a joint and inhaled deeply. James then passed it

to the new guy, Jacob.
Jacob took a hit and then passed it to Sam. By the time it reached me, there wasn't much left to it.

That was fine with me, because I was already feeling pretty fucking good from drinking most of the
whiskey rather quickly. But before I even finished that thought, James was handing me a new one.
"What the fuck," I conceded.
I inhaled deeply and attempted to pass it back to James. But James shook his head and nodded

towards Jacob. So I held it out to Jacob.
Jacob shot me a quick look -- like maybe he didn't really want it.
James must have noticed, because he said to Jacob, "Thought you said you wanted to party some
tonight?"
It sounded like he was trying to say it in a joking tone, but it definitely came out more accusatory
than joking. Jacob threw James a look that I couldn't discern and then took the joint and inhaled.
As he was handing it back to James, he exhaled directly into James' face and said, "Thought I was
supposed to be the designated driver?"
I sure as shit hoped there wasn't going to be a fucking fight tonight. James was usually so laid-back,
but tonight he seemed to be fucking keyed-up about something.
James started to laugh. It sounded fucking sinister. I knew James was an unsavory character, and I
had no desire to know what all he was really involved in, but he was just emanating evilness

tonight. I took another drink and shuddered, but not from the whiskey.
I was just glad the dude liked me, because it was becoming apparent there was something very

wrong with him... like in-the-head wrong.
What the fuck was really going on here? James must have driven down here with Jacob.

If he and James were friends, why had I never met him at any of the other parties before tonight?

And if Jacob was visiting from out of town, why hadn't James made any move to introduce him? I
got the impression that they already knew one another... but didn't particularly like each other. So

why had James even invited him here tonight?
The sound of Emmett's phone vibrating broke me out of my thoughts. He must've set the damn

thing to the loudest setting possible.
"I'll be right back," he said to me as he answered the phone and walked towards the forest.
There were some random conversations going on, but I just stared at the fire. I really didn't feel like
talking much. I still felt a little shitty about the fucked-up afternoon with Jess. Not to mention, I

was feeling especially fucked-up from all the booze and weed. Alice was going to be really pissed
that I was this messed up.
I tipped the bottle back and drank down the last drop of whiskey.
"Here, dude," James smirked as he tossed me a beer.
Even in my fucked-up state, I caught it easily. James looked surprised for a second. But then he
smiled that fucking sinister grin again.
Maybe I really shouldn't have smoked the weed. I was beginning to think it was making me fucking
paranoid.
As I popped the cap off the beer and took a drink, Emmett re-emerged from the forest and walked
over to where I was seated.
"Hey, you about ready to go?" he asked.
"Already?" I was pretty fucking sure my words were slurred.
I didn't feel like leaving yet.
I had lost track of the time, but it seemed like we hadn't really been here for that fucking long. I

thought about checking my cell phone for the time, but then I remembered I left it in Emmett's
Jeep. Fuck.
I stared into the fire again, because it really was kind of mesmerizing to look into. It was like the
flames were doing their own little dance or some shit.
"Dude, go ahead. I'll make sure he gets home," I heard James say, but it sounded kind of far away-
like.
Then I heard Emmett's voice -- and he sounded irritated. "No way. You're almost as fucked-up as
he is."
"I didn't drive, Jacob drove. He hasn't had that much... and he's done partying for the night,
anyways. By the time we're ready to leave, he'll be fine to drive," James growled.
I wondered why Jacob wasn't speaking for himself. Not that I had any right to fucking judge. I
wasn't exactly jumping into the conversation either.
Maybe Jacob was checking out the dancing flames as well.
I was too tired to be bothered to look over and see. Instead, I curled up on the cool slab of rock

beneath me, closed my eyes, and tried to tune them all the fuck out.
I heard more garbled voices but quit listening to what they were saying.
Emmett must of felt confident enough in Jacob's future driving abilities, because I think I heard him
say good-bye at some point. I couldn't really blame him for leaving though. Sitting around the

bonfire sober was surely boring as fuck.
Weird thoughts went through my head.
I wondered where this Jacob-guy had parked. I hadn't noticed any other cars where Emmett and I

parked.
The Quileutes probably hadall walked here, but where was James' car - or, rather, Jacob's car?
Something was really wrong with this whole night. Maybe I should have just stayed home and
watched a movie with Alice. I felt fucking sick now and totally fucking exhausted. I was lying down

with the fire at my back, and I felt the warmth emanating through the back of my sweatshirt and
jeans.
Time passed.
I heard the voices of the Quileutes as they left.
Then it was kind of quiet - and that was fucking nice. I listened to the crackling of the fire as it died
out. Further in the distance, I heard the sound of the waves hitting the rocks below. I think I slept

for awhile.
Silence.
Then I was awoken abruptly by the sound of two male voices arguing... about something. My
fucking head was pounding, and my rock-pillow wasn't helping matters. The only saving grace was

the coolness of the rock I was lying on, because even though the fire had long since died out, my
face felt hot as fuck.
More arguing. But I couldn't make out what the fuck they were saying. It was really grating on me,
and I wanted to fucking scream at them to shut the fuck up.
I tried to open my eyes. Oh, fuck. I had partied way too much. It was actually painful to open my
eyes.
I saw only complete blackness until my eyes adjusted. Then I was able to make out the edge of the
cliff and the silhouettes of the trees. But everything was kind of blurry-like.
Thankfully, it was quiet again. No more voices. I wondered if everyone had left, including James
and his friend. I couldn't think of his name at the moment. Fuck. How the fuck was I supposed to

get home?
I closed my eyes and slept some more.
I was having some weird-ass dreams. I dreamed of the arguing voices again. I dreamed I opened
my eyes and saw James and his friend fighting -- right at the edge of the fucking cliff. Were they

fucking crazy?
I tried to yell out to them in my dream and tell them to knock it the fuck off before somebody fell

off the edge.
In my dream, I saw James wrestling a gun away from... Jacob. Who the fuck would bring a gun to a

fucking party?
I heard gunshots. One... maybe two.
Silence.
I woke up shivering. My teeth were even chattering. I was fucking freezing. I tried to open my eyes,

but my eyelids felt like they were made of lead. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and I was
thirsty as fuck. The sounds of the waves below were making me salivate. I was that fucking thirsty.

There was a slight movement from somewhere behind me, and I forced my eyes open. More

blackness. So it was still night. I could vaguely make out the edge of the cliff again. I remembered
my dream, and a chill ran down my spine. God, I hoped like hell it was just a dream - or, rather, a

nightmare.
It was at that exact moment that I felt cool metal being pressed up against the back of my head. I

swallowed hard, because I knew exactly what the fuck it was.
I closed my eyes again.
My heart was pounding so hard within my chest, I could actually hear it.
I prayed to God to please not let the person pull the trigger.
As the barrel of the gun was pushed harder against my skull, I squeezed my eyes closed tighter and
warm tears spilled down my cheeks.
"Keep your fucking eyes closed," a voice whispered harshly. It belonged to James.
I held my breath and waited for it to happen.
I was waiting for my life to end.
My life didn't pass before my eyes, like they say it does before you die.
My mind was absolutely blank in that moment.
Silence.
"You're lucky I like you, Cullen," he said, laughing coldly. James was holding a gun to my head and
laughing.
"Just keep your fucking eyes closed," he growled again.
I gladly kept my ‘fucking eyes' closed. I heard him walking away, but I didn't dare open my eyes. I

wasn't stupid enough to disobey a fucking crazy man with a gun. I sensed he had left, but I wasn't
taking any chances. He could always change his mind and come back.
I wasn't sure how much time had passed. I was still so fucked-up by everything -- the booze, the
weed, the nightmare, fucking James holding a gun to the back of my fucking head. My stomach

was churning.
I eventually drifted off again.
This time, I dreamed I was in my own bed, but it was hard as a fucking rock. Alice was shaking me,
trying to wake me up.
"Edward... WAKE UP! What the fuck happened up here? Edward, please wake up, please be okay,"
Alice was sobbing in my dream.
Then somebody was shaking me again, and my eyes flew open as I realized it wasn't a dream.
I instinctively flinched away, until I realized it was Alice.
I sat up and looked around in a panic. Where were we?
I was still up on the cliff. It was just barely daybreak.
Tears were streaming down my sister's face, and I grabbed onto her and hugged her like my life
depended on it. She held me like that for awhile.
Finally, she pulled away and whispered, "Edward, what happened?"
She glanced at the ground and tears started to well up in her eyes. I looked at the ground as well

and froze when I saw what she was looking at.
It was a gun.
It was the same gun James had held to the back of my head. Sudden rage coursed through me. I

wanted to fucking smash his fucking face in with that very gun.
I didn't even think as my rage consumed me. I picked up the gun and threw it as hard as I could

into the forest. "Fuck you," I choked out in a thick, gravelly voice.
In my head, I roared the words I had failed to shout out: "FUCK YOU!"
I must have looked fucking deranged, because Alice was staring at me with her mouth agape.
My anger dissipated quickly though, as I pulled her into another hug and whispered, "Just take me

home. Please, Alice."

Chapter 3: I Stand Before You

EPOV
September 5, Sunday:
Alice and I sat next to one another in the tiny, dimly-lit room that served as some kind of a general
interrogation room for the officers of the La Push Police Department. The walls were badly in need

of a fresh coat of paint and there were no windows. Still, I could hear the rain as it pelted down on
the tin roof of the dilapidated one-story building. My head began to pound in unison with the

driving rain.

I had yet to get any kind of decent sleep, since I’d decided the best thing to do was to file a police
report of what had happened just hours earlier. Alice had agreed, but insisted we go back home

first so I could at least shower and eat something.

Before we had left the house, I told Alice she should just go back to Forks to be with Jasper. I could
drive myself back down to La Push. But she just handed me two aspirin and told me I was crazy if I

thought she was going to leave me alone today.

Sitting here now, I was fucking glad she had stayed with me. I needed her support.

She kept her hand on my arm as I spoke. It was her wayof offering me some kind of comfort in this
whole fucked-up mess.

Officer Ateara entered the room and sat across from us. An old wooden table -- with names carved

into the surface – separated us. He picked up a pen and began to take my statement. He wrote
down all the details diligently, explaining that their tape recorder had broken a few days earlier.

There didn’t appear to be a computer here either. I guess the small La Push police department
didn’t have the funds for such modern technologies.
I told him everything I could remember but left out the drug-use part. I didn’t want any of the
Quileutes to get into trouble, especially since Officer Ateara’s nephew, Quil, had been at the

bonfire party. I could tell he was already less-than-thrilled to hear about all the drinking that had
taken place up on the cliffs.
“Mr. Cullen, are you sure this man named Jacob never gave you his last name?” he asked in a very-
official sounding tone. His official-sounding tone clearly being at odds with the very unofficial-

looking surroundings.
I stared at the table, noting that once-upon-a-time someone named Cindy ‘loved’ Doug. There was
a little heart carved around this declaration. I suspected this table hadn’t always resided in the

confines of the police department.
“I’m absolutely sure, Officer,” I answered respectfully as I struggled to stay focused.

“What about this James fellow from Seattle? You don’t know his last name either?” he asked,

clearly frustrated with my sketchy details.
“I’m sorry. I really don’t think he ever told me his last name, or, if he did, I forgot it,” I answered

honestly, feeling more and more like a fucking idiot. Some help I was.
“But you do know where he lives, correct?” Officer Ateara asked as he scribbled down a few more

notes.
“I do, but I don’t know the exact address offhand. I could take you there though,” I offered, finally

glad there was at least something I could do. Alice patted my arm approvingly. She really was being
a sweet sister.
“That would be out of our jurisdiction, Mr. Cullen. But we can always contact the Seattle Police
Department … if it becomes necessary.”
“Oh, okay.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Officer, what will happen now?” Alice chimed in.
Officer Ateara leaned back in his chair. He put his pen down and folded his arms neatly across his

thick chest.
“Well, as you can see, I’m the only one here at the moment. I can go up there later and at least

take a quick look around, but not until Officer Clearwater gets here for his shift at around 5:00.”
We all looked at the big wall clock simultaneously. It was now 3:24. He continued to speak.
“Tomorrow though, there will be five of us on duty, so four of us can go up there and fully
investigate the area. If you really heard … gunshots,” he threw me a wary look, “then there should

be some kind of spent casings lying around. Also, we’ll look for the gun you say you threw in the
woods. Of course, it will probably be of little help to us, now that your prints are on it.” Officer

Ateara shook his head disapprovingly. “So, you’re sure you didn’t catch the last name of this Jacob
person?” he asked again.
I felt like we were going around in circles. Maybe Alice and I should just go back up there and look
around ourselves. I was pretty fucking certain James wasn’t going to be revisiting that area any

time soon.

Alice had said she hadn’t seen any other vehicles parked up there, when she arrived this morning,
so maybe Jacob had gotten away safely.
I still couldn’t be sure how much of what I recalled was real, or just a part of the bad dreams.
Even though James had obviously had a gun, I still could have just dreamt the part where I saw him

wrestling it away from Jacob.
I was really regretting getting so fucked-up last night. Not only did I feel like total shit today, but it

was fucking pathetic I couldn’t be of more help due to my intoxicated witnessing of things that
may -- or may not -- have happened.

The only thing I was absolutely sure of was that James had held that gun to my head. So if he ever

did dare to show his face around here again, he would definitely be in trouble for that fucking
stunt.
We wrapped things up with Officer Ateara and walked back to Alice’s car. Thankfully, the rain had
stopped for now.
“Edward, maybe we should just go up there and look around for … you know … just in case,” Alice
said with her eyes cast down. I knew what she was getting at.
She was definitely intimating we should go and find out for ourselves if there was indeed a body up
there in the woods or on the lower parts of the cliffs. We needed to know if this poor Jacob-guy

was lying up there somewhere … dead. When we had left there earlier today, I had just wanted …
no, needed … to get the fuck out of there. I didn’t even think to look around, just like I didn’t think

before picking up the fucking gun and throwing it into the woods.

“Fuck, Alice. Don’t you think I’ve tampered with enough evidence for one day? I was a fucking idiot
to ever even touch that gun. I know better than that….” I trailed off as I continued to internally

berate myself.
“It’s your call, Edward. I’m not going to push you to go back there if you don’t want to.”
Imagining that there could be a dead body lying up there somewhere was just making me feel
even worse. Jacob had seemed like a nice enough guy. I really hoped the events involving him had

just been a product of my fucked-up condition last night.
I was also seriously questioning my judgment for having been hanging out with someone like

James. I had known he was bad news. Why was I even spending any time with someone like him? I
felt like I should at least try and do something right, so I made my decision.
“Okay, let’s go back and look around. But whatever we find, we can’t touch anything,” I said,
stressing the last word.
Alice nodded in agreement as we got into her car and drove back up to the cliffs in silence.
We were approaching the spot where Emmett and I had parked yesterday when, suddenly, Alice

slammed on the brakes. What the fuck?
The road was completely blocked off with those big cement barriers you see on the highways,

usually in the construction zones.
What the fuck? Why? Who would put those there? And how the fuck did they even get them

there? Those things were heavy as fuck. My stomach churned as I began to suspect the parts of
last night I was still hoping were just drug- and alcohol-induced dreams may really have occurred. I

was furious with myself that I had been so fucked-up that I wasn’t coherent enough to stop
whatever the fuck had happened.
Alice was in the process of turning the car around when she came to a sudden stop.
“Look, Edward. There are people over there,” she said in a hushed tone, pointing towards the cliffs.
There were at least three men walking around over on the cliffs, picking things up and looking
around. They were in the exact spot where the bonfire had been.
We weren’t close enough to make out much detail, but they appeared to have on jeans and plaid
work shirts. They looked like loggers or some shit, or maybe that’s what they wanted people to

think they were. A chill ran down my spine as a sense of foreboding crept over me.
I saw one lift some sort of device to his mouth. A walkie-talkie maybe?

At the exact second I had a strong urge to say we should get the fuck out of here, Alice said in a

shaky voice, “Edward, I think we should get the fuck out of here.”
************************************************************************
BPOV
All I fear is all I came for

All I fear is all I ask for

Excuse Me ~ Fools For April

************

September 6, Monday:
I sat across from Aro at his sprawling, ornate desk in his luxuriously-appointed office,

surreptitiously located in a nondescript building in downtown Los Angeles. Today, I was here on
official business, not as a daughter visiting her dad.
I hadn’t cried once since hearing the news that Jacob Black was dead.
My warmth was gone.
A part of me was dead now as well.
I was about to face all my fears and ask my dad for the one thing I knew he never wanted me to be.

But, for this particular case, I was going to ask to be … the assassin.
Aro already knew what I was going to ask. I didn’t need to speak the words.
For the first time in our lives together, I was the one with the cold look in their eyes. I looked into
his eyes and saw what he must have always seen in mine. I saw him plead with his eyes for me not

to do this.
But I also knew he would allow it. In this situation, he would not say no to me.
I held his gaze.
He said nothing.
I said nothing.
Slowly, he pushed the thick dossier across his desk. The answer was yes. It was his way of saying

that I would indeed be going to the state of Washington. The mission was mine.
Aro, however, would be going to Denver, Colorado. That was where The Project pinpointed James’

location after he fled the Seattle area.
Ithad already been decided that James belonged to Aro. That decision had come from the higher

powers-that-be within our organization. That mission would be quick and simple -- two days at
most. I didn’t know all the details, and knew better than to question why, but I was told that James

must be disposed of whether he had killed Jacob … or not.
Edward Cullen was another story. Aro was told to choose whomever he wanted to take care of that

one. Since there was information to be gathered before any action could be taken, that mission
would take much longer – at least two or three months.

If Cullen turned out to be the one who killed Jake, The Project required definitive proof. Preferably,

in the form of a confession. The agency would not allow an innocent man to be killed in this
situation. However long it took to procure proof would be acceptable, as long as progress was

being made. But it was made clear to me, if Cullen did do it – then he must die.
I ran my fingers over the name printed on the front of the dossier: Edward Anthony Cullen –

CLASSIFIED. I broke the seal and opened the thick folder, pulling out the contents so I could look
them over.
The first document was a large, color photograph.
I stared at his face for the first time in my life.
I was momentarily shocked.
Cullen certainly didn’t look like a killer.
In fact, under any other circumstances, I probably would have thought he was quite beautiful.
Instantly, I was disgusted with myself.
I stared at his piercing emerald-green eyes and thought about the possible killer that lived behind
them.
Whoever killed Jake had taken away my warmth.
My heart was still beating, but it felt cold and dead now.
I continued to peruse the documents. The agents Aro sent up to the scene yesterday had certainly
been thorough. They had found Jake’s Glock, the same one I had seen in his weekend bag just

three days ago. My throat constricted. Three days that felt more like three years now.
They had recovered three sets of prints off of the gun: Jake’s, James’, and … Edward’s. They had

also recovered two spent shell casings, indicated that the gun had indeed been fired twice.
The one thing that puzzled me was that this-Edward Cullen guy didn’t fit the profile of a killer at all.

Maybe it had been an accident of some sort.
Obviously, a struggle had ensued since Jake’s gun had been taken from him. And the agents had

found evidence of a struggle by the edge of the cliff.
They also recovered a small amount of blood that matched Jacob’s DNA.
Accident or not, if he was the one responsible for Jake’s death, then Cullen would die as well.
I was curious as to why Cullen would even have prints on file. They had been accessed from our

vast database. He certainly wasn’t some kind of career-criminal.
However, he had been fingerprinted once, when he was 18 years old.

He apparently had beaten a fellow high-school student at a party one night.
Hehad beencharged with aggravated assault, which is a felony, but then his father had hired an

expensive attorney. The charge was promptly reduced to a misdemeanor.
It was expunged from his permanent record, due to it being a first-time offense.

No other law enforcement agency would have ever been able to trace his prints, but we had access

to all data -- even data that was supposedly permanently destroyed.
I continued to read through the report, and I saw that Cullen had claimed the guy he beat to a pulp

had attempted to rape a friend of his at the party. Some girl named Angela Weber.
Once again, no other agency would ever have access to her name. But we did.

She had corroborated his story. Interesting.
Edward Cullen was certainly quite the enigma.
The next piece of information I read made me laugh out loud … cynically.

Aro looked over at me in surprise.
“He’s a pre-law student? How ironic,” I said sarcastically.
Aro ignored my comment and instead pushed another packet across the desk to me.
“You’re going to need this information as well. Most everything you will need will already be at the
house you will be staying at while you’re in Forks.” Aro’s voice was smooth and very business-like.
I examined the contents of the other packet. I pulled out a random file and looked through it.
Apparently, I would be living in a modest, two-story, white frame house in the town of Forks,

Washington.
I saw that I was ‘renting’ the house from a J. Jenks.
I recognized the name. A member of our agency?
My dad was observing me, hands folded neatly in front of him on the desk, as I looked at the

pictures of the house.
“If you need anything house- or car-related, you can call Jenks and he’ll take care of it,” Aro stated,

confirming my thought that I had indeed seen his name before.
Then I came upon the pictures of the vehicle I’d be driving up there, and my spirits were lifted

momentarily. It was a red Porsche Cayenne. I gave my dad a quick smile, and he seemed to be
pleased.
“Bella, since we obviously cannot allow you take your Gullwing, as it would be entirely too
conspicuous, we decided we could at least allow you to drive something better than let’s say …

some old beat-up pickup truck,” Aro said in a rare attempt at humor.
“Thanks,” I stated simply. My momentary enthusiasm was waning quickly.
I was a little disappointed I’d be living in such a tiny house. I was used to my spacious Malibu beach
house, or my parent’s huge estate in Beverly Hills. Even Jake’s house up in the hills of Hollywood

was fairly large.
Thinking about Jake and our last morning at his house made me sad again. And angry.
I sighed heavily. “When do I leave?”
“Not until Friday morning. You’ll be driving up there in the Cayenne. You can spend the weekend

settling in to the house. You’ll start attending classes next Monday.”
I nodded and looked at my class schedule for Hale College. I would only miss a couple of classes

this week.

At least I’d be able to continue my own pre-law studies at a reputable school. I was definitely going
to miss Pepperdine though, even though classes hadn’t started there yet this semester.
I matched up my schedule with Cullen’s and noted we were in almost every class together.

The Project was always thorough.
I was going to have to get to know him. I’d have to become his friend in order to get the

information I needed and complete my mission. It was part of the plan, the only way to get to the

truth. It was still going to be difficult to befriend a possible monster.
I put the packets of information down as I braced myself in order to ask Aro the question I had

been avoiding.
I cleared my throat and spoke, “Have they found anything yet?”
Aro knew what I was referring to -- Jake’s body.
No body had been found, but all the evidence pointed to Jake being dead.

The most telling being that, if Jake had survived, he would have been in contact.
There had been nothing.
The chance of Jacob Black being dead was estimated to be 99.99978% by official agency
estimations.
The bottom line was: Jake was dead.
Aro shook his head. “No, Bella … nothing.”
It bothered me that Jake’s body hadn’t been found. It certainly didn’t lead me to believe he was
still alive. It was just that I wanted to be able to have a proper burial for him. Not a fucking burial at

sea.
Since no body had been discovered, it was assumed Jake had been shot and had fallen off the cliff,

orwaspushed.
The waters had been particularly rough that night and the next day.
There really was no chance of survival.
And there was only a slim chance we’d ever recover my best friend’s body.
My only solace was that Jacob had gone full-circle. He died in the same place he was born -- little
La Push, Washington.
I felt a lump rise in my throat. My eyes began to water, but the tears still did not fall.
Aro cleared his throat and reached to the floor beside him. He lifted up a long, black leather case.

My pulse quickened.
“Bella, I really hope you don’t need to use this,” Aro said gravely.
He lifted the long box over his desk and handed it to me. It sure was heavy.
“This is the one you’ve been trained on. It now belongs to you.”
I opened the box. It was the Tactical Operations Alpha-66 rifle. I had trained on many TacOps
sniper rifles, but this one was my favorite. Although it was kind of heavy, even more so with a

scope, I had always performed my absolute best with this particular model. And by my best, I
mean with 100% accuracy.
It was comforting to know that if Edward Cullen turned out to be too dangerous for me to confront
with my Glock; I could always follow through with my plan from a safe distance.
I ran my fingers over the cool finish of the rifle.
There was one thing I knew with full certainty.
Once I arrived in Forks … Edward Cullen’s life would never be the same.

Chapter 4: Building A Mystery

BPOV
September 13, Monday: ~ My Birthday
Last night was not a good night for me.

Last night was the 16th anniversary of my parents' deaths, as well as the night before my 21st
birthday.
I don’t celebrate my birthday... ever. To me, it just serves as a reminder of sorrow and
unfathomable loss.
As I had been going to bed, I received a simple text from Aro on my ‘work’ cell phone. It read: J x
I knew immediately that the cryptic message meant Aro had accomplished his mission -- James

was dead.
I had breathed a sigh of relief. He was certainly the more likely of the two suspects to have pulled

the trigger that night, but I still needed to learn the truth. Did Edward play any part in Jake’s
death? Why had his prints been on the gun?
I slept fitfully throughout the seemingly endless night. At one point, I even woke myself up …
screaming … aloud.
The scream had been elicited from a very vivid dream involving my real parents, Charlie and Renée
Swan. Another person I lost more recently had also been in that dream … Jacob.
In my dream, we were driving along in the blistering hot, arid Arizona desert. The car windows
were down, and the dry, hot air was blowing directly onto my face. I sat alone in the backseat and

watched my parents in the front. They never spoke. The radio was on, but the only sound coming
out of the speakers was static. Loud static. My ears were beginning to hurt. I covered them with my

little hands. I was five years old again. Well, almost, since the next day was going to be my
birthday.

I looked to my left, and saw a man sitting next to me. He hadn’t been there before. Where did he

come from? I couldn’t see his face, because he was looking out the side window. His hair was very
short and it was black as coal. His arms were a russet color, like maybe he’d spent too much time

under the desert sun. I spoke to the man, but he wouldn’t turn to me. It was like he couldn’t hear
my small voice.

I looked forward again and peered through the windshield. I saw we were speeding towards the

edge of a cliff. I screamed. My parents turned in unison to look at me … but they had no faces --
only black nothingness. I screamed again and looked to the strange man to my left. He was still

turned away from me. I yelled for him to please make the car stop. I touched his forearm to get his
attention, and his skin was hot … very hot … so hot that I screamed out in pain. I jerked my hand

away, and as I did, the strange man with the short black hair turned to me … very … slowly. More
black nothingness. A familiar voice came from the faceless man: “Happy Birthday, Bella.”
That had been when I woke myself up with my own bloodcurdling scream. My sheets were soaked
with my sweat, even though my unfamiliar bedroom was cool.
I had lain awake in the darkness, unable to fall back asleep for quite some time.
I eventually slept some. I was thankful there were no more bad dreams.

When my alarm went off at 7:00 in the morning, I was already wide awake. I went through my

morning routine feeling like a zombie. I almost fell back asleep as I showered, and eventually
trudged down the stairs to my modest kitchen to make some much-needed coffee. As I sat at the

kitchen table in my thick terrycloth bathrobe, drinking said much-needed coffee, I thought about
my past 48 hours or so, since arriving in Forks, Washington.
As planned, I had left Los Angeles early Friday morning. Felix had packed up my new Porsche
Cayenne the night before, while I was visiting with Aro and Jane in Beverly Hills. While there, I was

assured again that most everything I would need would already be in the house that had been
rented for me.
I then had driven about 18 hours, covering the over 1,000-mile drive from Los Angeles to Forks
with relatively few stops along the way.
By the time I had pulled into the gravel driveway of my new home, I was so exhausted that I just
went straight to bed. Thankfully, my sleep was dreamless that particular night. One benefit of

being utterly worn-out.
I then had spent both Saturday and Sunday going through what was already at the house and

organizing those things the way I wanted. Then there was last night. I shuddered at the memory of
my nightmare, still fresh in my mind.
I drank the last of my coffee and went back upstairs to get dressed for my first day of classes at
Hale College -- and, more importantly, my first opportunity to meet Edward Cullen.
I decided to wear a pair of black leggings, a black button-down blouse, and my short black leather
jacket that tied at the waist. I pulled on my favorite boots in the world -- my black leather thigh-

high Christian Louboutin boots with four-inch heels.
I finished blow-drying my long, dark, chestnut-brown hair, and then applied some dark-kohl

eyeliner, mascara, and clear lip gloss. I generally didn’t wear too much make-up, but I liked the
smoky look the eyeliner gave my chocolate-brown eyes.
I took a final look at myself in the full-length mirror on my bedroom wall. I looked pretty good, all
things considered.
I had purposely chosen to wear all black, since today was certainly not a day of celebration.
Today was a day of mourning.
The drive to the campus was short, maybe 10 minutes, or so. I parked in one of the designated
student parking lots and proceeded to my first class: International Environmental Law.
My pulse quickened, as I knew Edward Cullen was going to be in this particular class.
I steeled myself before entering the classroom.
The room was set up in the typical lecture hall design, with tiers of long tables and two sets of
steps. Almost everyone was already seated, either in their chairs or on the tables, talking with their

fellow classmates.
My cheeks warmed as many sets of eyes turned to watch me ascend one of the sets of steps. They

were getting their first look at the new girl in class.
As I headed towards the back of the classroom, people started to go back to their conversations.

Thankfully, losing interest in me.
There was only one open seat left. An aisle seat next to … Edward fucking Cullen.
I was sure The Project had somehow orchestrated that one. There was no way it could be just a

coincidence. No way.
As I approached the empty seat, his eyes met mine for the very first time. He smiled at me, and
then his piercing emerald-green eyes traveled over my body.
In that moment, I felt a rush of mixed emotions. I was repulsed to think he could be the man who
killed, or played a part in the death of, Jacob. But, at the same time, I found myself oddly attracted

to him. Bizarre.
I cleared my throat. “Is anyone sitting here?” I said, motioning to the empty seat.
“Nope, it’s all yours,” he replied in a much-too-silky voice. Cocky much?

I rolled my eyes and sat down next to him. I heard him chuckle. Smart-ass.

He was wearing black jeans, a tan and red plaid button-down shirt, and a black leather jacket. He
shifted slightly in his seat, and a pleasant scent filled my nose.
Good God -- why did he have to smell so damn good? Like leather, cinnamon, and just plain …
masculinity. His pheromones must have been working overtime.
I busied myself with locating the appropriate book in my black backpack. This wasn’t really going
the way I had expected it to. I knew Edward Cullen was gorgeous from the pictures I had seen in

the files on him, but I never expected him to exude such raw animal magnetism.
I really needed to pull myself together.
“So, I’m Edward Cullen,” he said, reaching his hand out to shake mine. He then added, “I hear you
transferred from Pepperdine.”
I stared at his outstretched hand for a few seconds. Did I have to shake his hand? Why was he
being so formal and polite? And how in the hell did he know I transferred from Pepperdine?
He probably had heard about me from that Rosalie Hale chick. She would know since she has
family ties to the college. The files indicated she was friends with both Edward and his sister, Alice

Cullen. That had to be how he knew.

“I’m Bella Swan. Yeah, I transferred from Pepperdine. Um … nice to meet you,” I replied, trying to
sound as cordial as I could as I reluctantly placed my hand in his to shake.
Suddenly we both pulled away quickly. That was strange.

When our hands had touched, there was a surge of … electrical energy … or something.
It certainly surprised the hell out of me.
I had expected to be completely disgusted by our brief physical contact. To my utter dismay, I
found myself wanting to touch him again. It had been that pleasant. And now, I was disturbed that

it was so enticing.
I glanced over surreptitiously to gauge his reaction.
He was obviously pretending to be deeply engrossed in reading his notes, as he absently ran his
fingers through his already-messy hair. Must be a nervous habit.
He must have felt it as well. Why else did he pull away at the same time?
And why did he look so embarrassed? His cheeks were reddening ever-so-slightly.
“Um … do you think I could get copies of your notes from last week?” I asked, trying to sound as

nonchalant as possible.
He looked back at me and smiled a crooked smile. “Sure. I’ll make copies for you tonight. I can give
them to you tomorrow, if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure, that would be great,” I said quietly, hoping he didn’t detect my less-than-thrilled tone.

Thankfully, at that exact moment, the professor entered the classroom and started his lecture. I
listened carefully and took copious notes. But my mind kept wandering back to Edward.
Instead of hating Edward Cullen with every fiber of my being, like I had prior to actually meeting
him, I was intrigued by him.
What in the hell was my problem?
I felt a twinge of guilt, so I moved my chair a little further away from him.
One thing I was now aware of: Edward Cullen was a mystery in more ways than one.
***********************************************************************
EPOV
You’re so beautiful

With an edge and a charm

Building A Mystery ~ Sarah McLachlan

************
Did Bella Swan just move her chair away from me?
I mean, I was sure I probably didn’t smell as good as she did – like fucking lilacs or something – but
I sure as fuck didn’t think I smelled bad.
One thing for sure: the new girl was clearly quite beautiful and hot as hell, but she sure seemed to
be kind of the moody type.
First, right before she’d asked me if the seat next to me was open, she looked at me with what sure
looked like fucking disgust to me. And then, within seconds, she was looking at me the way most

girls looked at me.
Yeah, I was pretty sure that look had been attraction.
But when I had answered her, in what I thought was my I-kind-of-think-you’re-hot-too voice, she
actually fucking rolled her eyes at me.
I hadn’t been able to stifle my chuckle at that one. Easily offended much?
When I suspected she was purposely ignoring me, rummaging through her bag and all, I decided to

introduce myself and ask her about transferring from Pepperdine.
Rose had told Alice that Bella Swan was granted some kind of fucking instant student transfer from

Pepperdine to Hale. It was actually unheard of to be allowed to transfer anywhere so quickly, let
alone to a college like Hale. It was like Bella Swan had said ‘jump,’ and the administration at Hale

had said ‘how high?’
This Swan girl must really have some kind of backing behind her. Interesting.
Anyway, she sure looked more than a little surprised that I knew that little tidbit about her.

Get used to it Swan. If Rose knows, then you can bet the whole fucking student body knows by

now.
Then, for absolutely no good reason I could think of, she looked at my outstretched hand like I was

some kind of a fucking monster. But she eventually answered me and shook my hand.
That’s when things really got really fucking weird.
When our hands had touched, there was some kind of fucking strange … energy. It felt like her skin
was emitting electricity or some shit. It was both exciting and oddly soothing at the same time.
I wanted to touch her more, just to feel it again.
The whole exchange was actually all-kinds of hot, and I felt myself harden instantly. That was

fucking embarrassing. I wasn’t some inexperienced guy who got hard just because some hot girl
had touched his fucking hand. Pathetic.
I pretended to be engrossed in my notes. Thank God she must not have noticed my
embarrassment, because she casually asked me if she could have copies of my notes from last

week.
When I responded that I would gladly make copies and give them to her tomorrow, she answered

me in some kind of a voice that gave me the impression that she was less than fucking thrilled with
my existence. Fuck. This girl’s moods were giving me whiplash.
And now -- after all that -- she was moving her chair away from me?
I should be the one fucking running from her.
The only problem was that she intrigued me … immensely. As soon as my eyes had met hers, I
knew Bella Swan was not anything like the other girls at this school.
Hell, I’d never met any girl like her anywhere. She exuded some kind of fucking seductiveness.
There was something else, though, like something dangerous about her. It just drew me to her

even more.
Not to mention, she looked totally fucking hot.
She was busy taking notes, so I was able to get a really good look at her without her catching on.
What a kick-ass body. She was wearing some kind of tight black pants that really fucking showed

off how toned her ass and legs were. When I leaned back at just the right angle, I caught a glimpse
of her cleavage. Her black shirt, under her sexy little black leather jacket, was unbuttoned just

enough that I had a great view of the swell of the tops of her tits. I was getting fucking hard again
just imagining myself leaning over and licking that smooth-looking skin and undoing the rest of

those buttons.
And those boots. Fuck. What guy wasn’t fucking aroused by thigh-high boots? With high fuck-me

heels. I found myself fantasizing about what it might be like to fuck Bella Swan with her wearing
just those boots … and abso-fucking-lutely nothing else.
Jesus. If my cock got any harder, it was going to splinter the wood on the underside of the table.
Just as I was indulging in my little boot fantasy, I realized Bella was asking me a question.
“Did he mean the first quiz is this Wednesday … or next Wednesday?”
Quiz? What fucking quiz?
I took a shot in the dark. “Um … I think the quiz is next Wednesday.”
I did vaguely remember Professor Banner mentioning something last week about the first quiz

being on the 22nd, which would make it next week.
“Thanks,” she said quietly while continuing to stare at me like she was trying to figure me out or
something. Funny, since she was the one who was the total mystery.
The rest of the day continued in much the same way. Bella Swan was in most of my classes since
she was a pre-law student as well. For as much as I started to think she didn’t really like me at all,

she certainly made a point to either choose an open seat next to or near me in every class.
By the end of the day, she started to loosen up a little bit. I think I may have even seen her smile

once or twice at some of my wittier comments.
When I inquired as to why she had left sunny, beautiful California for dreary, boring-as-fuck Forks,

she simply said she ‘wanted to start a new life.’ It sounded to me like total bullshit, but I didn’t
press the issue any further. I didn’t want to upset her and have her acting all moody with me again.
I was just happy the looks of disgust had seemed to stop by the end of our last class together.
As I made my way to the student parking lot to meet up with Alice, I found myself lost in thoughts

of Bella Swan.
I kind of liked how she had started calling me ‘Cullen’ in our last class. It was certainly an

improvement from all of the earlier classes, where she hadn’t said my name at all -- even when she
asked me questions. Maybe she didn’t like the name ‘Edward’ or some shit. In any case, I started

calling her ‘Swan’ in return. Quid pro quo, baby.
She must have kind of liked it, because that was one of the only times I saw her smile - like, a

genuine fucking smile - if only for a few seconds.
Alice was already waiting by my silver Range Rover, so I waved to her as I walked towards her. I was

really in a good mood for some reason. Alice gave me one of her all-knowing looks as I approached
her.
“Hmmm … you met the new girl, didn’t you?” she asked smugly while I unlocked the doors.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked in return.
Alice didn’t elaborate, but did squeal excitedly as we got into my vehicle. I rolled my eyes. “Edward,
I wasn’t going to say anything, but since Bella is so sweet, I’m going to tell you about the dream I

had last night.”
Sweet wasn’t the word I would have chosen to describe Swan, but, okay. I was kind of curious

about Alice’s dream, especially if it involved Bella Swan.
“Well, since it looks like we’re stuck here for the time being, let’s hear it.” There was a line of cars

exiting the lot and blocking our way out of the parking spot.
Alice was so hyped-up she looked like she was about to start jumping up and down in the

passenger seat. Wow – those two must have really fucking hit it off. I was starting to seriously
wonder whether we were talking about the same Bella Swan, here.
“Oh, Edward, I dreamed that all of us are going to end up becoming really great friends. Although I
didn’t know who the girl was in my dream at the time. But when Bella walked into my Art History

class today, I knew immediately … it was her. The girl from my dream! I just knew I had to get to
know her right then and there.” Alice finally took a breath.
“Oh, fuck. I hope you didn’t say anything to her about your dream.” I could just imagine how crazy
that would sound to someone who didn’t know Alice, especially to someone like Bella Swan.
Alice gave me a hurt look. “Of course not. But we did sit together and she really is nice, Edward.

Oh, and I already invited her to Jasper’s party.”
Jasper’s party was a month away, but Alice was already making preparations and inviting people. It
really was quickly becoming Jasper and Alice’s party.
As Alice continued to chatter on, something caught my eye outside of my driver’s side window. I
looked out and saw Swan opening the door of a really fucking nice brand new, red Porsche

Cayenne, parked only two spots away from my Range Rover.
Alice’s talking had turned to the party details, so she didn’t even notice Swan.
I tuned Alice out and watched Bella. Her head was down, and her hair was obscuring the sides of
her face. She looked somehow different from earlier, but I couldn’t see her expression clearly

enough to figure out why.
She must have felt my gaze upon her because she looked up and over at me abruptly, narrowing

her eyes. Fuck. Even from this distance, it was clear she was crying.
I knew it was rude as fuck, but I kept staring. It was such a contrast to the Bella Swan I had seen all

day. She quickly got into her Cayenne and almost backed into another car as she sped out of her
spot.
What was the story with Bella Swan?
She basically acted like a hard-ass with me all day, was apparently ‘sweet’ with Alice, and now she

was crying.
I was intrigued.
Bella Swan really was quite the mystery.
In that moment, I promised myself that I was going to be the one to figure her out … even if it

ended up being the death of me.

Chapter 5: I Let Go

BPOV
October 1: Friday:
I had been living in Forks for three weeks, and I’d only cried once. And that time didn’t really count.
That one time occurred on my way to the student parking lot, following my last class of the day, on

what had been my very first day of classes at Hale College.
It had been more like one of those ‘stress-relief’ types of cries. I had just been so emotionally

drained that day from my lack of decent sleep the night before, and then having to see Edward
Cullen in almost every damn class. As if those two things weren’t bad enough, I’d had to begin my

farce of trying to befriend himas well. It had all been very exhausting and stressful, and I’d needed
a release. So I had cried.
Although, I was still appalled that Cullen had seen me all teary-eyed, getting into my Cayenne that
day. I had sensed eyes upon me, and when I looked up, I’d found him blatantly staring at me from

the inside of his parked Range Rover. I had been so pissed that I almost hit a car as I backed out of
my parking space and got the hell out of there.
In the almost three weeks since that day, neither of us has ever mentioned it. And I hadn’t cried
since then.

I’ve been much too busy trying to get to know Edward Cullen and the major players in his life: his

sister, Alice; Alice’s boyfriend, Jasper; Edward’s best friend, Emmett; and Emmett’s girlfriend,
Rosalie.
Alice was turning out to be the truly sweetest person I’d ever met. She was so upbeat and happy all
of the time. I kind of wished I could be more like her.

But, working for The Project tended to make a person feel things far different than upbeat and
happy.
Alice and I only shared one class together: Art History. An elective class for me, but a required
course for Alice, since she was an art major. Sharing that class wasgivingus a good opportunity to

really start to get to know one another.
Alice was the first real girl friend I’d ever had in my life. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit I just

adored her already.

Her boyfriend, Jasper, was really a great person as well. They were a perfectly matched couple.
Jasper seemed to be really calm and just kind of relaxing to be around. He provided an ideal

balance to Alice’s boisterousness.
As for Emmett and Rosalie, I hadn’t spent too much time with them since we had no classes

together. However, we had all met up as a group for lunch a handful of times at school.
Rose was stunning to look at, with her model-like good looks, but she had a real bitchy attitude. I

was pretty sure she didn’t like me very much, but then again, she didn’t seem to like anyone much,
except for Alice. And Emmett, of course.

Emmett was a friendly, fun-loving kind of a guy. I found it kind of odd he was Edward’s best friend,

since they had such different personalities. But, Alice told me they’d been friends since they were
children, so I guess that explained it.
Then there wasEdward Cullen himself.
Surprisingly, he was actually turning out to be an okay-guy, much to my chagrin. Sure, he could be

cocky and arrogant, but he had his good points. He was good at making the drudgery of pre-law
classes more bearable. He could be witty and fun when he wanted to be, and he certainly was

exceptionally intelligent.
It was funny, because he was always bitching about how tough the classes were at Hale, but he

continually earned all As, seemingly with little effort. Half the time, even when I’d see him take
notes, he seemed to be lost in thought or distracted by something. And, I knew for a fact he went

out drinking from time to time with Emmett, sometimes even before big tests. But he still breezed
through the exams like they were a piece of cake, and they weren’t.
Of course, I was doing well at Hale myself, getting all As. That was probably why earlier this week,
Edward had suggested that we should start studying together.
I guess it made sense.
It would certainly allow me more time with him alone. I needed to get him to start trusting me

enough to open up about what the nature of his relationship with James had been. And,
ultimately, what exactly happened that night up there on the cliffs at La Push.
There was something else that was really starting to bother me.
I didn’t really want to believe Edward may have had some involvement with Jake’s death. Not

anymore.

I had even spoken with Aro about some of my newfound misgivings last night. He had called me on

the agency-secured landline phone to see how things were going thus far with my mission. I’d
given him an update on my progress so far with Edward Cullen. He seemed to have been generally

pleased, but was quick to remind me of my real reason for being here in Forks, and what I would
still be expected to do if it turned out Edward had been involved with Jake’s death -- in any way.
I had then asked him what the probability was that James had, in fact, been the killer. I was certain
The Project would have already run all sorts of statistical analyses on things like that, with their

sophisticated computer programs and all. Aro had stated the likelihood of James being the killer
was very high, probably around ninety percent, maybe higher. That had been one of the reasons

why the agency wanted James disposed of so quickly. I still had no clues as to what the other
reasons were.
It was that possible ten-percent chance Edward had been involved, that was keeping me here.
I’d succeeded at all of my missions in the past. I sure as hell didn’t want to fail this one.
The whole conversation had left me in a foul mood that was carrying over into today.
At school, Edward seemed to notice I was a bit off. He didn’t talk to me much and kept his usual

joking around to a minimum. Even Alice had kept her distance in class.
It was now dinnertime and I still felt: Something. Nothing. Everything.

I had been sitting at my kitchen table now for a while, trying to decipher what exactly it was I was

feeling, and why.
I had a massive headache, since I hadn’t eaten since morning. But, I wasn’t even hungry. I had

skipped lunch today and just sat alone in my Cayenne, listening to sad songs. That had been a bad
idea.
What was wrong with me? I felt confused. There was a start.I pondered deeply, reflecting on the
past weeks. I was able to name some of the emotions I was feeling: anger, guilt, sorrow, guilt,

attraction to Cullen, more guilt, disgust at myself for being attracted to Cullen, guilt, more
confusion, and GUILT.
A lump started to form in my throat.
I wanted to run.
I wanted to get out of this house.
I wanted to get away from Forks, if only for a few hours.
I grabbed my keys and ran to my Cayenne. It was threatening rain, but I didn’t even bother to grab
a jacket, nor an umbrella. I ran out of the house in just my jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers.
I was sure that if any of my neighbors had seen me, they would havesuspected I had lost my mind.
They may not have been too far off with that assumption.
I jumped into the driver’s seat and caught a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror. I looked
deranged. My hair was all over the place. I must have been running my hands through it, while I

was sitting at the kitchen table.
Good God. Was I picking up some of Cullen’s habits? Next I’d be swearing like a drunken sailor –

whatever that saying was supposed to mean.

My eyes looked wild. My eyeliner was smeared, making my eyes look even crazier.

I didn’t really give a fuck.
I revved the engine and backed out of my driveway, not sure of where exactly I was going.
I drove aimlessly for awhile, until I spotted a sign for La Push. Five miles. Now I knew where I was

going.
It was starting to rain steadily, so I turned my wipers on. The sound of the falling rain and the

gliding noise of the wipers sweeping across the windshield calmed me somewhat, making me think
of a simpler time.
I suddenly had an idea.
I caught sight of a convenience store ahead and pulled in. I made a quick dash to the store

entrance, wishing I would have grabbed a jacket before I had left the house. The rain was really
causing the temperature to plummet.
The elderly clerk with a scruffy, grey beard gave me a strange look as I set the six-pack of some
brand of cheap locally-brewed beer down on the counter.

I looked so disheveled; he probably thought I was already drunk or on some kind of drugs.
On a whim, I decided to buy a pack of cigarettes as well. I didn’t smoke, but I remembered a time

when Jake and I had given smoking a try. We had probably been about fifteen years-old or so. Jake
had pilfered them from his adoptive mom, Heidi. We smoked almost the entire pack, one after the

other, until we both had gotten violently ill.
That had been the end of our very short-lived smoking habits. But tonight I wanted to feel that

same kind of sick again. I needed something to help me not forget Jake, and the times we had
together. Even the stupid ones – those were still a part of our growing up together.
As I paid and started to leave, I remembered that the Cayenne didn’t have a cigarette lighter, so I
turned and asked the clerk if he had any matches. He shook his head, and muttered something

under his breath, as he handed me a pack of matches from behind the counter.
I ran back to the Cayenne. It was really starting to rain now. I blasted the heat and the defoggers,

and then packed and opened the pack of cigarettes.
I lit one and drew the smoke in deeply. My throat burned like hell, and I started to cough some, but

it made me think of Jake. My eyes watered somewhat. But, I couldn’t be sure if it that was because
I was thinking of Jake, or due to the now-smoky condition of the cabin of my Cayenne. I knew I’d

be pissed tomorrow that my interior was going to smell like stale smoke. But, at the moment, I
didn’t really give a shit.
I traveled down the road a bit further and found myself driving along a poorly-lit road that ran
parallel to the La Push Beach. I’d never been there before, but that was what the big white letters,

painted on an old, weathered wooden sign on the side of the road, informed me. I passed the sign
and pulled off the road on the beach side. I cut the ignition and listened to the sound of the rain.
It was getting dark, but the rain had lightened up again. It was just a slow drizzle.
There was no sign of any life anywhere. I was completely alone. And I felt completely alone.
I popped open a can of the cheap beer and tipped it back, taking a long drink. The cigarette had
made my throat dry. I didn’t have an ashtray in the Cayenne, and I really didn’t want to throw the

spent cigarette butt out the window, so I chugged the rest of the beer as fast as I could. I could use
the empty can as an ashtray.
Even though I had flicked ashes out of the window on the drive here from the store, it just didn’t
feel right to purposely litter in Jake’s birthplace. And Jake’s deathpl--

Don’t even think of that right now.
I stared at the waves crashing on the beach. The water was choppy and very black, giving it an
ominous appearance. A bad feeling of impending doom crept over me, and I thought about turning

around to head back home. But I felt I deserved whatever misfortune befell me. I had been a
failure to Jake by not loving him the same way he had loved me, and now I was attracted to

someone who may have taken him away from me.
Little wonder I looked and felt unsettled.
I lit another cigarette, balancing my now five-pack of beer with my pack of cigarettes and
makeshift-ashtray, and got out of my vehicle. I slammed the door shut with my foot. It felt like

something fell from my grasp, but it was much too dark next to my vehicle to see if there was
anything lying on the ground.
I looked over and spotted the cliffs in the distance.
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.
My eyes filled with tears. My heart filled with sorrow.
Jake.
I shook my head, to clear my thoughts, and walked down to the water’s edge. It was completely
dark now. The only illumination was from the faint moonlight filtering through the shroud of

clouds. I tripped over a large piece of white driftwood but caught myself from falling. The
driftwood looked sturdy enough to me, so I decided to sit down on it. I was extremely close to the

water, and I had a direct view of the outlines of the cliffs.
I choked down a sob.
I wanted to forget everything. I popped open my second can, and drank the beer down just as
quickly as the first.
I glanced down at the driftwood I was seated upon and thought about how much it looked like it
was made of bone. The skeleton of some tree that had once been so full of life. How long had it

been in the water before it washed ashore?
Jake.

I put my spent cigarette into my ashtray-can and opened another beer.

I suddenly wanted another cigarette but couldn’t find the pack.
Maybe that was what I had dropped? I didn’t know, and I didn’t care.

I slid down into the sand, using the driftwood as more of a backrest, rather than a chair.
The sand was wet, and I could feel it soaking through my jeans. I finished my third beer and
opened another. I hadn’t consumed this much alcohol, in such a short amount of time, in quite a

long while.
The last time I had gotten drunk had been with … Jake.
Jake.
“I failed you, Jake,” I said aloud in a choked voice.
A wave crashed directly in front of me, and the dark water swirled at my feet, before heading back
out to sea.
High tide would be coming in soon.

I leaned against the driftwood at an awkward angle and accidentally dropped my beer. I felt around

in the sand but couldn’t find it, so I just opened another.
My head was starting to really pound. My headache from earlier was worsening as I drank more

beer.

The rain started to fall harder, turning from a drizzle to a downpour within minutes.
As the frigid rain pelted me in the face, I started to cry. Really cry.

I was finally crying for Jake.
“I-I’m so s-sorry,” I cried out to the waves as they crashed closer and closer. I laid my head down

and sobbed into the wet sand. “I miss you,” I choke-whispered. And, I did miss my best friend.
I sobbed uncontrollably. Warm, salty tears slid down my face, intermingling with the icy, cold rain

that continued to fall upon me.
I started to shiver, but I didn’t feel cold.
I was just numb.
Shakily, I ran my hands down my sides. My soaking wet clothes clung to my body. I tried to wipe

away the tears. It was of no use. They kept coming.
I was sobbing. My body wracked with the grief I had refused to allow myself to let out. Until now.
I couldn’t stop crying.
All the tears I had kept in for the past month poured forth, blending with the rain that poured over

my body.
I was so tired.
I had to let go.
I had to move on.
I had to let go … of Jake.
I wept aloud, choking on my own tears.
A wave crashed at my feet, spraying my legs with water. Oddly, the ocean water felt warmer than
the rain.
Jake.
I squinted to try to make out the cliffs in the distance, but it was too rainy and dark for me to focus

on their outline. I tried, unsuccessfully, to sit up. I was too drunk, and too tired, to try more than
once.
I just wanted to sleep, but sleep eluded me.
I let go.
I laid my face back down against the sand. My wet hair fell against my cheek. My hand clenched
the sand. Jake.
I let go.
“G-g-good---B-b-bye,” I said through my chattering teeth.
I let go.
As I was immersed in my final good-bye, I felt a firm, warm hand gently push my hair away from my

face. Warm fingers caressed my cheek. So soothing. It was instantly comforting. I sighed.
A silken voice said my name softly: Bella.
“Edward?” I barely whispered as I felt something full of warmth being placed over my body. I

breathed in the delicious smell the warm fabric held. Edward.
“Shhhh … it’s going to be okay, Bella.”
“Edward,” I whispered again.
I imagined his lips lightly brushing against my sopping wet hair. I must be dreaming….
The last thing I remember feeling before drifting off, were warm, strong arms wrapping around me
and carefully lifting me off the wet sand. I allowed myself to be saved by the strength of Edward

Cullen. The elusive sleep I craved earlier came to me at last.

Chapter 6: Give Me Reason

EPOV
October 1, Friday:
I stood rummaging through the refrigerator, door propped open with my ass, looking for
something to eat. I was hungry as fuck, since I skipped lunch earlier today.

I had originally planned on asking Bella if she wanted to grab lunch with me, but she had seemed

like she was in some kind of a weird fucking mood. So I scrapped that plan and tried to say as little
as possible to her. Maybe it was that time of the month for her or something.
As I perused my limited choices, I cursed myself for continuing to rely on Alice to stock the fridge.
Even though she barely stayed here anymore, she always made sure I still had plenty to eat. But

her grocery-shopping day was Saturday, and it was Friday night, so I was down to just some still-
edible lunchmeats and several slices of processed cheese. Guess I could make a sandwich since I

still had plenty of bread.

WhileI was preparing my simple dinner, the landline phone rang. Sometimes my parents would call
on that phone, so I figured I’d better answer it.

To my surprise, it was Officer Ateara from the La Push Police Department. I had been wondering if I

was ever going to hear from him. It had been almost a month since Alice and I had sat in that
dimly-lit office, and I had recounted my story.
Even though I was still pissed at James for putting that fucking gun to the back of my head, I was
really beginning to believe the rest of my dreams from that night had been just that – dreams.

Albeit really fucking bad ones.
Rose and Emmett had informed me that James had never returned to his rental house on Mercer

Island after that night, so he must’ve realized he would be in some deep shit if he ever showed his
face around here again. I still planned on definitely pressing charges against him if he ever did dare

to return. Fucker.
Officer Ateara introduced himself and apologized for taking so long to get back to me. He didn’t

sound too fucking sorry.
He claimed the report had been misplaced for awhile. Yeah … right.

He then proceeded to tell me that absolutely no evidence of any kind of crime had been found at

the scene. No bodies were recovered. No missing person reports had ever been filed in this area of
any young males with the first name of Jacob. There was no evidence of any struggle near the edge

of the cliffs. No gun was discovered. No spent casings were located.
Nothing.
The La Push officers that had combed the area around the cliffs only came upon the charred
remnants of the spent bonfire and a few empty beer bottles that hadn’t been thrown away.
Absolutely nothing else.
I could tell from his tone that he regarded me as a guy who had partied way too much that night

and had a very overactive imagination.
In a rather patronizing voice, he assured me they would keep my report on file just in case anything

ever did come up. Sure.
On file -- my ass, I was certain that report was going straight to the fucking circular file on the floor.
Despite everything the officer had said, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was still
just not right. What had happened to the gun?
Maybe those ‘workers’ Alice and I had seen up on the cliffs that day had found it. Who were those
guys anyway? And why had the road been blocked off?

Even if my ‘dreams’ of James and that-Jacob-guy fighting at the edge of the cliff -- and wrestling

over the gun -- were a by-product of my consuming too much alcohol and weed that night, there
still had been a gun there. I definitely fucking remembered how it felt jammed up against the back

of my head.
Besides, Alice had seen the gun that morning.

And I still cringed as I remembered picking it up and throwing it into the woods.
That was fucking stupid. Leaving my own prints on that fucking gun.
I had been fingerprinted once in my lifetime, after I beat the living fuck out of some kid named

Royce King, from Port Angeles, who made the mistake of attempting to rape my friend, Angela
Weber, at a party back in high school. Unfortunately, I had been eighteen at the time and was

charged with a felony. My dad then hired a really fucking good criminal defense attorney from
Seattle, and the charges ended up being reduced to a misdemeanor, and subsequently dropped

and expunged from my record permanently.

Good thing, or I would have had to kiss my dream of a career in law good-bye.

I’ve really tried to rein in my temper since that night. I’ve been much better about staying out of
trouble. I’ve still gotten into some fights, but I’ve restrained myself from really pummeling the fuck

out of anyone.
But that fucker had deserved it.
Angela was the nicest, kindest person I knew back in high school. She was one of the only girls I
had never tried to fuck. She was just too wholesome and a genuinely good person. I didn’t want to

be the one who ended up corrupting her.
So, when she had come up to me at that party crying, and with her shirt torn, I had seen red. Even

though she assured me she had gotten away before he was able to have his way with her, just

seeing her so fucking devastated sent me into a fit of rage.
I found the King kid out in the backyard -- getting high and laughing like everything was just fine –

and I walked straight up to him and clocked him in the jaw a few times.
For starters.
He had tried to fight back, mostly unsuccessfully. He got in a few decent shots but nothing too
damaging. I, on the other hand, beat the fuck out of his sorry ass. I still didn’t regret it. I bet to this

day that asshole thinks twice before touching a girl who tells him ‘no.’
I ran my fingers through my hair and stood with the phone still in my hand … thinking.
Even though it was getting dark outside, I suddenly felt the need to go back to La Push. I hadn’t
been back there since that fateful weekend. I really didn’t think the police had missed anything but

having a look around would just make me feel better.
I threw a fleece-lined rain jacket on over my navy blue thermal shirt, since I could hear the rain

outside pouring more steadily. I already had a flashlight in the glove box of the Range Rover, and
an umbrella in the back, so I just grabbed my keys, and my cell, and left for La Push.
I called Alice on the way there to tell her about the call from Officer Ateara and to let her know
where I was going. Just in case.

She was as perplexed as I was about what could have happened to that gun.
“Do you think he came back and got it?” I knew she was referring to James.
“No, he wouldn’t be that stupid. Besides, I think he skipped town that same night.”
“You know, Edward, I think you’re right. Rose told me she heard that the rent was paid up on his
house through the end of September. And, no one’s ever seen him back on Mercer Island,” Alice

said in a hushed tone.
Like it was some kind of fucking secret Rose had uncovered. I rolled my eyes, thankful that Alice

couldn’t see me. She and Rose were pretty good friends, and she put a lot of stock into whatever
Rose had to say. God only knows why.

As I neared the cliffs, I turned down the road that ran alongside the La Push beach. Even though it

was now pitch black out, and raining like hell, my headlights fell upon a familiar red vehicle parked
just off the side of the road.
Swan? What the fuck?
That was most definitely Bella Swan’s Cayenne.
What the fuck was she doing in … La Push … on a deserted beach… at night … in the fucking rain?
Alice was going on about something when I interrupted her.
“Alice, I’ll call you back. Swan’s Cayenne is parked here at the beach in La Push. I’m going to check
it out….” I trailed off.
I heard Alice saying, “Huh? Bella’s in La Push?” just as I pressed ‘end’ on the cell.
I pulled off the road and parked behind the Cayenne.
Nobody was in it.
So where the fuck was Swan? This wasn’t exactly stroll-along-the-beach weather.

As I got out of my vehicle, I was glad I was wearing the heavy rain jacket. The rain was pouring now

and it was getting cold. Really fucking cold. I didn’t bother with the umbrella though; I just pulled
the hood of the coat up over my head. I was in too much of a hurry to find out why Bella’s vehicle

was parked here.
And where the fuck Bella was.
A sick feeling was developing in my gut. I was no Alice, but even I could sense something was
amiss. I walked around the Cayenne and noticed a pack of cigarettes lying on the ground, in a

puddle, by the driver’s side door. That was fucked-up because I knew Bella didn’t smoke. Maybe
someone else had dropped them there.
I started down to the beach.
It was really fucking dark, especially because of the rain. I cursed at myself for not having grabbed

the flashlight as I trudged through the wet sand, thankful I was wearing my hiking boots.

The waves were crashing violently along the shore.
I spotted a huge piece of whitish-colored driftwood at the water’s edge and saw some kind of

movement behind it, close to where the waves were coming in.
I ran over to the driftwood … and froze when I saw … Bella.
Holy Fuck.

Bella Swan was lying curled up on the wet sand, soaked to the fucking bone, teeth chattering.
I fell to my knees and pushed her wet hair away from her face as carefully as I could. I said her

name softly as I touched her cheek. Her skin was clammy and cold.
How long had she been lying out here in the icy rain? Her jeans and t-shirt were thoroughly fucking

soaked through. There were empty beer cans scattered in the sand around her. Had Bella come out
here to drink alone? Why? And why would she dress in such light clothing in this kind of weather?
As I was removed my jacket and covered her shivering form with it, I heard her mumble
something. My name.

My heart inexplicably swelled with … I don’t know what. Fucking joy?

That made no fucking sense at all.
How could she even know I was here? She was too out of it, and her eyes were closed. She had

spoken so softly, I was sure I must have heard her incorrectly.
I leaned in a little closer. “Shhhh … it’s going to be okay, Bella.”
Then I heard her say it again.
“Edward,” she whispered.
There was no mistaking it this time. She definitely had said my name. It was the first time I could
think of that she had ever actually said my first name.
I closed my eyes and allowed my lips to lightly brush her hair. I breathed in Bella. My Bella. In that
moment, I wanted her to be my Bella.
I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her shivering, wet body off of the sand. With my jacket
still draped over her, she looked like she was drifting off to sleep as I carried her back to my vehicle.
I called Alice back as soon as I got Bella situated in my passenger seat.

I had found some folded blankets in the back of the Range Rover and tucked them all around Bella

in an effort to try to warm her up as much as possible.
“Alice, how fast can you get to the house?” I said as soon as she answered her cell.
“What in the hell is going on, Edward? Did you find Bella? Is she okay?” Alice sounded panicked.
I started the ignition. “I found her on the beach. Passed out and soaked. Alice, just meet me back

at the fucking house, okay?” I cringed. I didn’t mean to speak so sharply to my sister, but I was just
worried about Bella.
Alice was quiet for a second. But, I knew she wasn’t mad. She realized the seriousness of the
situation.
“I’m leaving now. I’ll be there before you, Edward,” she said, ending the call.
Alice would be there first. I was sure of it. And not because Forks was closer to our house than La

Push was. It was because Alice drove even faster than I did when she really needed to.
I kept glancing over at Bella on the drive back to my house. Her teeth had stopped chattering, but

she was still shivering, even under all of the blankets and my jacket. I turned the heat up as high as
it could go and made sure the heated seats were on the highest settings. I was a little cold and wet

myself, but nothing like Bella.
I was still bewildered as to why Bella would be getting drunk alone on the beach -- at La Push.

Especially at night. Even if the weather had been fine, it was still dangerous in so many ways. Who
knew what kind of psycho could have come upon her in her vulnerable state. My temper flared at

the thought of someone hurting Bella. I pressed the gas pedal down harder.
What if I hadn’t found her when I did? High tide was coming in. Bella could have fucking drowned.
I felt a lump rise in my throat.
What the fuck was that all about? Was I starting to fall for Swan?
Thankfully, I didn’t have to answer my own question, because I reached the front of my house.
Alice was waiting in the doorway with dry towels and more blankets.
I chuckled to myself when I thought about just how fast Alice must have driven. Not only did she
get here first, but she’d had time to get things ready to take care of Bella.
I brushed past Alice and carried Bella up to one of our guest bedrooms. Alice caught up to me as I
laid Bella down carefully on the bed.
“Edward, I really think I’d better get those wet clothes off of her. I have some pajamas I think will fit
her. We’re almost the same size,” Alice said while handing me the towels and blankets she had

been holding. Before I could even answer, Alice was practically running down the hall to her own
bedroom to get the dry clothes for Bella.
I was trying to towel-dry Bella’s hair as best as I could when she starting to stir. She opened her
eyes and looked at me -- wide-eyed and confused.
“Cullen?” Bella said questioningly as her eyes darted around the room. “Where am I?” she asked
as she pulled the towel away from me and began to dry her own hair with it.

I ran my fingers through my own still-damp hair. “You’re at my house. Alice is getting you some dry

clothes to change into. Um, I found you … on the beach in La Push.” I fell silent, not sure how much
she remembered.
Bella cringed. “Oh, God,” she whispered, sounding embarrassed. “I-I’m a fucking idiot.” She turned

her face away from me.
I was kind of surprised that she really seemed to be so humiliated. Hell – Alice had found me in far
worse condition just three weeks ago in La Push. Weird.

Maybe La Push was quickly becoming the place to go to get really fucked-up. Bad joke, Cullen.
Alice came back in with the dry clothes. “Hey, you’re awake,” she said sweetly to Bella.
Then she turned to me and said not-so-sweetly, “Okay, out of here, dear brother. I’m sure Bella
doesn’t want an audience while she changes.”
Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. I ran my fingers through my hair again and mumbled some
expletive to Alice on my way out. Smart-ass sister.
“I heard that. Just close the door and wait right out there. It’ll only take a minute,” she said to me
in an exasperated tone.
I leaned against the outside of the bedroom door and waited … and waited. When Alice finally
opened the door, I practically fell back into the room.
Bella gave me a funny look. “Smooth, Cullen,” she said with a tiny smile.
Her hand then flew to her head.
“Ouch. Do you have any aspirin?” she asked, wincing.
Bella was all cocooned in a shitload of blankets. She actually looked kind of fucking cute.

Alice hurried into the adjoining bathroom and came back with a glass of water and a bottle of

aspirin. My sister sure was efficient.
Alice sat down on the edge of the bed next to Bella, and I felt like maybe I should leave them alone

for awhile.
Maybe Bella was having some kind of guy trouble and that was why she had been drinking on the

beach. Something had obviously upset her enough that she put her own life in jeopardy. It was so
out of character for the strong-willed Bella I was getting to know. And, obviously like. Maybe more

than I was ready to admit.
But if she wanted to talk to Alice about some fucking loser-guy that would be stupid enough to

hurt her that much, she probably wouldn’t want me fucking standing there listening.
For some reason, the idea that Bella would be that fucked-up over some guy made me want to hit

something. Maybe some idiot-guy fucked her over back in California. That’s probably why she had
wanted to come up here and ‘start a new life’ or whatever the fuck it was she had said.
Was I jealous?
Alice and Bella were both staring at me, apparently waiting for a response to some question I had

missed.
“What?” I asked irritably.

Alice looked at me pointedly. “I was just saying maybe you could make Bella a sandwich or

something. It will help her headache.”
Yep – it looked like they wanted some girl-talk time.
“Sure,” I mumbled, closing the door and heading back downstairs.
As I was in the kitchen preparing to make Bella’s sandwich, I quickly threw one together for myself

as well. I was fucking starving, since I’d never finished making one earlier when Officer Ateara had

called.
Alice startled me when she walked in and sat down at our kitchen table.
I took a bite of my sandwich as I finished making a much nicer looking one for Bella.
“You want one, too?” I offered.
She shook her head. “Nah, I ate earlier with Jasper.”
“Is Bella feeling better now?” I asked between bites, trying to appear only casually interested.

I was dying to ask more, but I didn’t want Alice to catch on that I was way more than casually

interested in what Bella had said to her. Except, Alice knew me too fucking well.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “You like her, don’t you?”
Before I could answer, she quickly added, “And I don’t mean like as a friend, Edward. I’m asking you
if you are interested in Bella Swan.”
I finished my sandwich and ran my fingers through my hair. There was no point in trying to lie to
Alice. “Maybe. I don’t know. She seems … complicated.”
Alice scoffed, “Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it. Edward. Just be careful with her, okay?”
She paused.

I said nothing, not really sure what the fuck she meant by that statement.
Alice sighed and continued, “I asked her if her getting drunk like that was because of a guy. She
insisted it wasn’t. She said that she had just been stressing over classes and felt like drinking.”
“Oh,” was all I could think to say.
So maybe tonight hadn’t been about some idiot-ex or something. I was oddly relieved.
But then Alice went on, “But, Edward, I think she’s lying. I think tonight was about a guy. I don’t
know why she doesn’t want to talk about it … even just to admit it. I mean, we’re friends and all,

but it’s like she’s hiding something….” Alice trailed off, looking dejected.
Alice wasn’t used to people not opening up to her. I could tell she was kind of miffed by Bella not

sharing with her. Even I didn’t believe someone like Bella Swan would be stressed over classes. She
was totally fucking acing every class. Alice was right, there was surely more to this whole event.
I reached over and ruffled Alice’s spiky hair. “Don’t worry about it, sis. I’m sure you’ll have Swan
pouring her heart out to you soon enough. Give her time.”
Well this sure was a turnabout. Me consoling Alice. It was usually the other way around.
Alice smiled. “You’re right, Edward. I had that dream that we’d be great friends, so I know it will

happen eventually.” Now there was the Alice I knew and loved.
“You better take her that sandwich up before she falls back asleep,” she added.
“I’m on it, sis,” I said, picking up the plate with the sandwich as I headed back upstairs.
The door was open, but I still knocked. “Hey, Swan, are you decent in there?” I teased, entering the

room before she had time to answer. I was pretty sure she’d be more than decent, all swaddled in
blankets and shit.

“Cullen, did you go to Port Angeles to get that sandwich? Geez, talk about leaving a girl hanging.

Now get your ass over here with my food.” I hated to admit it, but it kind of turned me on when

she got all bossy like that with me.
She was back to being Swan. Whatever vulnerability she had shown was now hidden back under

her tough-girl façade.
She was still all wrapped up in her blankets, but she shrugged them off when I handed her the

sandwich, which she ate in record time.

She looked much better. She, or Alice, had washed off her smeared make-up and dried her hair. It
looked all soft and fluffy. I kind of wanted to run my fingers through it.
And -- Fuck. What the fuck did Alice dress her in? I expected her to give Bella something warm to
wear, like maybe thick flannel granny pajamas.
I guess Alice didn’t own anything like that.
Bella was wearing a thin, silky-looking pink tank top with a pink satin bow right at her cleavage. Did

I mention the thing was kind of fucking low-cut? It was fucking obvious she had no bra on either. I
could clearly see the outline of her nipples through the thin fabric. I guess she was still cold, seeing

that they appeared to be fucking erect and all.
I had to stifle a groan. Why couldn’t Alice own granny clothes so I could sit her without ogling

Bella?
The matching pink pants were just as bad. They would’ve been fucking awesome if I could touch

Bella. But, since I couldn’t, they were pure fucking torture. At least they were long, but they were
thin as hell. When Bella reached over to the nightstand for her glass of water, I was pretty sure she

wasn’t wearing any panties, because I didn’t see any panty lines. Not that I was looking for that
shit or anything.
I had no choice but to grab one of Bella’s many blankets and feign that I was cold, so I could wrap it
around me to hide my ever-growing erection.
Bella must have suspected as much, because she then grabbed a blanket as well and covered
herself back up. I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved … or disappointed … or both.
“So, Cullen, I guess I should thank you for saving me,” Bella said in a sincere tone of voice. Then she
added dryly, “From my own self and my own stupidity.”
I wasn’t sure if that was an opening to talk seriously or not, so I took a chance. “Bella, why were
you down there anyway? In the rain. In the dark….”
Bella gave me a look that could only be described as fucking anguished. Then she quickly looked
away.
I didn’t think she was going to answer, but then she cleared her throat.
“Cullen, it’s not something I want to talk about … especially not with you,” she said in a hard voice,

stressing the final word. She looked back in my direction.
She didn’t want to talk about it … especially not with me.
Ouch! What the fuck kind of gratitude was that for fucking saving her ass?
Our eyes met. I couldn’t deny that I was fucking pissed off at her rude response. I knew she could

see how angry I was. Her eyes flashed in anger right back at me.
I thought about the softer Bella at the beach. I thought about how she had whispered my name so

sweetly. My eyes implored hers for some kind of explanation as to why she was being this way

now.

She continued to glare at me with her own anger. And then, something wavered in her eyes. Just
for a second, I saw a tiny break in the façade. Then Swan was back in full force, staring me down

with even more fury. That just made me madder than hell, and conflicted as fuck.

A part of me wanted to lean over and kiss her hard. Maybe that would break through that fucking
façade.

Another part of me really wanted to fuck the shit out of her … until she screamed out my fucking

first name. Only this time in ecstasy and not in a fucking barely-audible whisper.

And, there was a part of me that just wanted to hold her, comfort her, and take away her pain.

She still wasn’t giving in, so I looked away first. One of us had to put a stop to the fucking staring
competition.
I didn’t want to end up being an ass and actually attempt any of those things I was thinking of. The
time wasn’t right for any of those responses.
I stood up and walked to the door, pausing. I was still pissed and frustrated as fuck. I wanted to
throw some nastiness right back at her.
“Alice and I will pick up your Cayenne early tomorrow and bring it back here so you can go home
as soon as possible. I have a pretty fucking busy weekend planned. I don’t have time for this shit,

so I’ll just see you in class on Monday,” I said cuttingly, closing the door behind me with more force
than necessary.
By the time I reached my own room, my anger had dissipated. I felt like an ass. I really shouldn’t
have been such a fucking dick just because she didn’t want to talk to me about some obviously

personal shit.
But, I really wanted her to talk to me … confide in me … share her secrets with me.
It just had pissed me off to no end when she made that comment about not wanting to talk to me
specifically.
But she’d already had a tough enough night. She didn’t need me acting like an asshole to top it off.
My good deed felt negated by my bad behavior at the end of the night. Always the same mistakes.
I tossed and turned thinking about Bella in the bedroom down the hall from me. She was all I could
think about.
As I finally drifted off to sleep, I dreamed of Bella whispering my name to me.
But this time we were not on the beach. We were in my bed.

Chapter 7: Monster

BPOV
October 16, Saturday:
Two weeks had passed since I’d woken up in Edward Cullen’s house -- hung-over from my

recklessness the prior night. As bad as that Friday night had been, and it had surely been bad, I

could honestly say I had finally let go of Jake. I accepted the reality that he was gone forever and
never coming back.
I had finally cried and grieved for the loss of my best friend down on that dark, rainy beach in La
Push. I knew it would still be a long time before I was truly healed, but at least I had taken the first

step in moving forward.
Things with Edward had been strained and awkward for several days after the incident.
I was dealing -- or rather not dealing -- with so many contradictory emotions.
Edward had saved me that night. There was no denying that fact. If not for Edward rescuing me, I

most likely would have drowned on that beach. It was a difficult thing for me to accept. Here I was,
in Forks, trying to find out if he had played any part in Jacob’s death, and knowing full-well that if

he did I was expected to be the one to ensure his death.
The irony of the entire situation was not lost on me. It was also wreaking havoc on me

emotionally.Even though I was making great progress on the part of my mission that entailed
getting to know Edward, I no longer wanted to have to kill him.
In my heart, I no longer believed that Edward had anything to do with Jake’s death.
But his prints had been on that gun.
Maybe he’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
As much as I kept trying not to, I liked Edward Cullen … a lot. He had become my friend. And, I

hated to admit it, but I was also attracted to him. Very attracted to him.
Pondering the implications of these feelings felt like some sort of betrayal to Jake’s memory, so I

just swept them all under the proverbial rug.
I’d left the Cullen house early that Saturday morning and didn’t see Edward, or Alice, until Monday

morning at school. As promised, my Cayenne had been parked out in their driveway very early that
Saturday morning. Nobody was home when I left. Edward had made it crystal-clear he didn’t care

to see me the rest of the weekend, and I just assumed Alice had gone back to Jasper’s place.
When I had first run into Edward, that Monday morning, he had glared at me like he was still angry

with me. I flushed when I saw him, mainly because I was embarrassed he had found me that night
in such a state, and thus saw me at my most vulnerable.
I didn’t remember too much about that night, but I remembered being a real bitch to him when
he’d brought me up a sandwich. I also remembered being very angry at him for asking me why I

had been in La Push … alone on the beach … at night … drunk … in the pouring rain. His question
had caught me by surprise, and for a second I’d felt such a surge of anguish that I almost told him

everything. That would have been disastrous.
Coming that close to almost telling Edward everything had angered me, more with myself than

with him. I shouldn’t want to share things with Edward Cullen.
I had felt the need to push him away quickly, so I had said something about not wanting to discuss

it, especially not with him. I’d fully intended for it to sound cold and ungrateful.
And it must have, because I saw hurt, and then anger, flash in his emerald eyes.
We had glared at one another, both of us furious. There had been so much going on behind those
piercing green eyes that it still made me wish I had the ability to read his thoughts. Neither of us

yielded for what had felt like a long time. He’d been the one to finally look away.

On his way out the door though, he had been sure to make it clear that he wanted me out of his

house in the morning, as soon as possible, because he didn’t have the time for dealing with my
shit. Touché.
I checked the time now and saw it was almost eight o’clock at night. I had no more time to think
about Edward Cullen, as I still needed to get ready for Jasper and Alice’s party. Since I didn’t plan

on drinking tonight, I had told Edward he could park here at my house, and I would drive us over to
the party. Jasper’s townhouse was only about three miles from my house.
I finished showering and stood with a towel wrapped around me, peering into my bedroom closet
trying to decide what to wear. Alice had effectively managed to turn Jasper’s keg-party into a

somewhat more refined event. Sure, the beer would still be a-flowing, but Alice wanted all the girls
to be dressed-up and looking their prettiest.
After some internal deliberation, I eventually decided on a short black lacy dress with strategically
placed cut-outs and a nude-colored satin lining. I rummaged through my shoe collection and found

a pair of Prada high-heeled black pumps in the back of my closet. Perfect. I applied my usual
minimal amount of make-up, but added a bit more mascara and eyeliner. I pulled my hair up into

various twists and such, but finally opted to just wear it down, like usual.
As I was applying a final coat of mascara, I heard the doorbell ring downstairs.
“Come in,” I yelled through my open door and down the steps. I was expecting Edward, so I had
left the front door unlocked.
I heard the front door close as I began my descent down the stairs. I fully expected to hear a typical
smart-ass comment coming from Cullen as I reached the landing, but was met with silence instead.
Edward was standing at the base of the stairs, mouth slightly agape as his eyes raked over me. It
made me slightly uncomfortable, so I tried to crack a joke – our customary method to diffuse the

ever-growing sexual tension between us.
“What, Cullen? You think the pumps are too much?” I sighed in mock-drama. “Let me just switch

to the ballet flats instead,” I said, huffing and pretending to turn to go back up the stairs.
I guess Edward didn’t catch my sorry ass attempt at humor, because he sounded quite serious

when he replied, “Don’t you dare change a thing, Swan. You look fucking incredible.”
The look in his eyes told me he meant it. My pulse quickened. Humor, Swan. Humor.
“Aw, thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself,” I teased.
He really did look gorgeous.
Even though he wasn’t nearly as dressed up as I was, he still looked incredibly handsome. He was
wearing a light blue button-down shirt that accentuated his incredibly toned upper body. His

clothing always seemed to flatter his lean, sinewy muscles. He was also wearing a pair of blue
jeans that fit him in ways that should’ve been illegal.
His coppery-bronze hair was messier than usual … but it looked better than ever. For a brief
moment, I was tempted to run my fingers through it. He did that all the time to his own hair, and it

made me wonder what his hair felt like. I imagined it to be silky and soft. He truly looked like a
model standing there as he looked at me amusedly, crooked smile and all. Guess I was busted for

checking him out.
“Shall we?” he asked, gallantly offering me his arm.
I hesitated, not sure if he was joking around or being serious. I had the feeling he was being
serious, but I was feeling overwhelmed by his presence as it was, so I acted as if it was a joke.

“Stop it, Cullen,” I said weakly as I brushed past him. I ignoring his waiting arm and reached for the

door knob, hearing his soft laughter from not far behind me.
“What? Afraid I might bite?” he purred, leaning in close to my ear.
He was now standing directly behind me, so close that I could feel the heat emanating from his
body. Our bodies were almost touching. Almost.
I marveled that I hadn’t even heard him approach, especially considering my line of work. Who
knew Edward could be that stealthy?
My face was hot and my thoughts were muddled. Cullen was actually making me flustered.
Unheard of.
I ignored his comment and sighed in pretend-annoyance, determined to appear unfazed by his
undeniable charm.
“We’re going to be late. Let’s go.”
He stepped back and chuckled again. Even his chuckles and laughter had taken on a velvety quality.
Cullen sure was in rare form tonight. He seemed to be especially cocky. I was finding it disturbingly
appealing. I half-wanted to turn around and suggest we skip the party altogether and hang out

here, just the two of us. My mind was thinking of what Cullen’s lips might taste like. Maybe the
same way he smelled? All-cinnamon-like. Hot.
I quickly pushed that thought right out of my head.
Yeah -- The sooner we got to that party, the better.
The short ride over to Jasper’s was much more relaxed. We fell back into out usual banter, laughing
about how poor Jasper’s party had been hijacked by Alice. We joked about how there would

probably be scented candles and little twinkling lights strung all over his townhouse.
When we reached our destination, I immediately noticed Alice had indeed managed to string up

some twinkling lights along the porch and balcony of Jasper’s townhouse. Edward and I threw each
other a quick, knowing smile as we walked up to the front door. It was all we could do to keep from

busting out laughing.
Alice met us at the door, looking even more animated than usual. Hard to believe, but true.
“Come on in, guys,” she said, wiggling herself between the two of us and putting her tiny arms
around each of our waists as she led us to the living room sofa. Edward and I sat down at the same

time, just a few inches apart from one another.
“What can I get you each to drink?” she asked formally as she stood before us.
I noted that Alice looked really cute tonight in a dark brown wrap dress that matched her eyes
perfectly.
Edward rolled his eyes at her. “Alice, I think we can get our own drinks. It’s not like we’re at a
dinner party here.” Alice’s smile faltered, so Edward added more gently, “Although I’m not going to

complain about the dress code you came up with for the girls. That was ingenious, sis.”
He winked at me, and I caught him steal a hungry glance at my bare legs. My mouth suddenly went

dry.
“I’m just drinking water tonight, Alice. I can get it myself,” I said as I adjusted the hem of my dress

so I could stand up without giving Edward a show.
Before I had a chance to get up, Edward interjected.

“I’ll get your water for you, Swan. I’m gonna grab a beer for myself, anyway,” he said, getting up

swiftly and leaving the room before I could object.
Alice plopped down next to me. “Bella, you look so beautiful tonight. I wish I could’ve talked Jasper

into letting me make the boys dress up as well. Edward looks really good in a suit. You two
would’ve looked even better together than Rose and Emmett.”
I was momentarily speechless, so I was thankful when Edward returned. He handed me a bottled
water with one hand, while he took a drink from a plastic cup of beer that he held in the other.
Just then Rose and Emmett walked in. They did look exceptionally good together. Emmett wasn’t
dressed up, of course, but Rose looked really pretty in a long-sleeved red short sheath dress with

matching red heels. Her blonde hair tumbled down her back, and her face looked perfect.
More and more people arrived, and the party started to get louder. Someone turned up the music,

and the bass reverberated throughout the townhouse. Jasper was lucky all of the other tenants
were college students as well, or else someone surely would have complained.
I tried to make the rounds and talk with all the various people I knew from school. But I was really
starting to get bored. The college party scene just wasn’t for me, especially when everyone was

getting drunk and I was drinking water.
I was curious as to where Edward had wandered off to. I had last seen him talking with Jasper and

Emmett, so I assumed he was with them.
I noticed Alice sitting alone on the sofa. She looked like she was upset about something, so I went

over to see what was wrong.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I sat down next to her.
“Yeah, sweetie. I’m just a little pissed at the moment,” she answered glumly.
“Why?” I asked, genuinely interested in what could possibly piss off Alice. She was always cheery --

about everything.
“Well, two people showed up here that weren’t invited.”
“So tell them to leave,” I said. It didn’t sound like that big of a problem to me.
Alice looked like she was debating something, like maybe how much she should divulge. “I just

don’t want to cause a scene by asking them to leave.” She hesitated. “One is Edward’s ex-girlfriend,
Jessica. And she’s here with her current boyfriend, Mike Newton. It’s just … uncomfortable.”
Edward’s ex-girlfriend was here?
I felt a pang of … jealousy?
I knew exactly who Jessica Stanley was, although she didn’t know me at all. We had no classes
together, and I rarely saw her around, even though she did attend Hale. There was no need for me

to get to know her, since she hadn’t been a part of Edward’s life for months now. He had never
even mentioned her to me. Of course, I had read all about her in the file. She just seemed like a

typical college girl.
The name Mike Newton did not sound familiar at all, so I dismissed him as being anyone of any

importance to me.
I still didn’t see what the big deal was that they were here at the party. But I kind of hoped Alice

would ask Jessica to leave.
“Hmmm … I don’t think I’ve ever met them,” I said, trying to sound disinterested.

Alice nodded absently and mused aloud, “I never really liked Jessica. I knew she and Edward were

not right for each other. As for Mike Newton, we went to high school with him. Edward never liked
him.”
Now it was starting to make sense. Alice was always looking out for her brother, just as he was for
her. She didn’t want him to be uncomfortable at a party where he was supposed to be relaxing and

having a good time with friends.
Edward entered the room just then, looking like he was still in a great mood.
I could only guess he hadn’t run into the non-invited guests yet. He kind of sauntered over to the
sofa and sat down on the other side of Alice. He wasn’t drunk, but it was obvious he was definitely

feeling good. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a drink from his plastic cup.
“So, what are my favorite girls up to?”
Yeah, he was buzzed.
Alice spoke rapidly, “Edward, I don’t want you to get upset, but I have to tell you something.” She

paused, and Edward looked at her with one eyebrow raised questioningly, waiting for her to
continue. “Um, Jessica is here with Mike.”
Edward took another drink. He looked agitated.
“Who invited them?” His voice sounded more than a little strained.
“They weren’t invited, but I don’t want a scene or anything, Edward. I don’t even know where they
are right now. Maybe they left,” Alice said nervously, looking around the room.
In the following minutes, so many things happened at once that even I was taken aback.
Jessica Stanley suddenly rushed into the room, looking disheveled, and walked straight over to

Edward, who was still seated on the sofa with us. Her eyes were red-rimmed like she had been
crying, and her jaw was turning an angry shade of red and swelling rapidly. It looked to me like

someone had just punched her in the jaw … hard.
She spoke directly to Edward, never acknowledging, or making eye contact with, me or Alice.

“Edward, Mike just hit me. He hits me all the time. I was never going to tell you or anybody ever,
but he just punched me … outside … c-cause I-I wanted t-to g-gooo.” She started to sob

uncontrollably.
Alice looked stunned by her revelation. Edward’s face was devoid of any emotion.
I was pissed off.
I didn’t think too highly of men who hit women, to put it mildly.
I was well-trained in martial arts and actually considered finding this Newton-guy myself. It would
be interesting to see how well he handled himself with a woman who knew how to fight back. But

I decided against it, since that would surely blow my cover. Although it might be worth it to see the
look on Cullen’s face when I kicked Mike’s ass. He always seemed to be kind of turned-on by my

strengths.
I forgot all about my little fantasy, though, when I took another look at Jessica. Her jaw was looking

worse every second, and she was practically choking on her own tears.
Where was this Newton guy anyway?
As if on cue, Newton walked in. I only knew it was him because he walked directly to Jessica and
grabbed her roughly by the arm. “Come on, you stupid bitch. What are you doing in here talking to

fucking Cullen anyway? Are you planning on sucking his cock again?” Mike yanked Jessica’s arm,

and she cried out in pain. Newton growled, “You little slut-”
With lightning speed, Edward was on Mike Newton, punching him directly in the face. Mike

crumpled to the ground, but Edward was like a machine. From a technical standpoint, I was truly
impressed. Edward was as stealthy as he had been in my doorway earlier. Newton never even saw

him coming at him.
Now he was trying to fight back, but he kept missing Edward.
Cullen was elusive and effective. His speed, strength, and agility were absolutely amazing. If
Edward turned out to be as innocent as I hoped and prayed he would be, maybe The Project

should consider offering him a job.
Alice started screaming, and Jessica resumed her sobbing. Jasper and Emmett must have heard all

of the commotion, because they rushed in and, with much effort, finally pulled Edward off of Mike.
Newton looked pretty fucked up as he lay on the floor groaning in obvious pain. Jasper went to

comfort Alice, while Emmett tried to calm Edward down.
“What the fuck, man. Stop. You don’t want to get into trouble over that piece of shit. He’s not

worth it, dude.”
Cullen’s eyes were so dark that they looked black. His fists continued to clench at his sides as he

said nothing. He looked like a wild animal ready to pounce again. Emmett stood in front of Edward,
blocking him from Newton, who was still incapacitated on the floor.
I was standing in front of the sofa when Edward glanced over at me. His dark eyes flickered with
emotion. He seemed to be pleading with me to help him.
I went to him without hesitation.
Emmett started to say something to me about just backing off so I didn’t accidentally get hurt. Like

I was some fragile doll or something. If he only knew what I was capable of.
I just laughed at him and stayed next to Edward. Besides, I was already doing a better job at

calming Edward. His eyes were no longer black; I could see the emerald-green again.
A crowd of gawking partygoers had formed in the living room, and Emmett began to disperse

them. He and Jasper told people the party was over and to just go home.
I put my arm loosely around Edward’s waist and led him into the now-empty kitchen. I noticed his

only injuries were on his right hand. There was dried blood smeared across his knuckles, and his
whole hand was starting to swell.
With my arm around his waist, the electricity I always felt when we touched was stronger than
ever. I couldn’t be sure of what Edward was feeling, but he appeared to be soothed by my touch. I

led him to one of the kitchen chairs and he sat down willingly, while I stood in front of him. His
eyes were back to their normal emerald color, but looked somewhat vacant as he stared past me.
I was about to turn and get some ice for his badly-swollen hand when he wrapped his uninjured
hand around my right wrist.
“I want to get you some ice for your hand,” I said as calmly as I could, pulling away slightly. His
grasp tightened. His hold was still loose enough that I could have easily pulled away. But I didn’t.
“Just stay here with me for another minute … please … please,” he whispered.
I knew he didn’t want me to break our contact. Beneath the electricity, I could now feel what I

presumed he was feeling. Soothed and comforted.

We looked into each others eyes like we had in his guest room two week earlier. But this time

there was not a trace of anger there. It was more like an understanding. He had saved me in my
time of need, and now I was saving him in his.
I placed my left hand on his cheek and he relaxed into it, closing his eyes and sighing. I rubbed his
cheek lightly with my fingertips, tracing over the tiny course hairs of his light stubble. I hesitated

for a moment, and then gently moved my fingers into his hair. It felt so soft and silky, just like I
imagined it would feel.
Edward let out a barely audible moan, and I closed my eyes as well. His fingers caressed my wrist
lightly.
We stood there like that for several minutes, until I suddenly remembered Edward’s injured hand
and reluctantly pulled my hand away.
“I better get you that ice, okay?”
He nodded and released my wrist.
I grabbed some ice from the refrigerator and wrapped it in a dishtowel. I pulled a chair next to his
and sat down beside him, carefully placing the ice on his swollen hand. He moved his hand some

and winced.
“Do you think you broke anything?” I asked, and then added, “Has it ever been broken in the

past?”
“No,” he answered quietly.
I moved the ice away and started to check his injured hand for any detectable fractures or breaks.
“You should probably have it x-rayed, just to be sure. I don’t think there are any breaks, but you

could still have a hairline fracture,” I said while examining Edward’s hand expertly.
I wanted to be thorough, and I knew what to look for. Another perk of being agency-trained. There

didn’t appear to be any breaks or serious damage, so I placed the ice back on his hand.
I looked up to find Edward staring at me -- utterly perplexed. “Swan, are you sure you weren’t pre-

med instead of pre-law down there at Pepperdine?”
I looked away and acted as if I hadn’t heard him, but he continued, “I mean, the way you were

checking for breaks. It was exactly like how my dad used to check when I had gotten into a fight.”
He paused meaningfully. “But, Bella, he’s a fucking doctor.”
“I just know about this kind of stuff,” I said in a low tone while keeping my eyes averted.
“How?” he demanded. Edward was obviously tiring of my continual vagueness.
I couldn’t exactly tell him that learning about ‘this kind of stuff’ was part of my training with The
Project, so I ignored his question again. But Edward was undeterred.
“Bella, how do you know so much about this kind of stuff? Where’d you learn about shit like this?”
His voice was becoming more urgent.
I sighed. I didn’t want to get into an argument with him over this. I propped my elbows up on my
knees and leaned my head into my hands.
“Bella?” He was waiting for an answer.
“It’s not something I want to talk about, okay? Just drop it,” I mumbled into my hands.
He became so quiet that I ventured a glance at his face. To my surprise, his expression was one of
both horror and fury.

“Oh, fuck, Bella. Please don’t tell me that something like this … Newton thing … happened to you.

‘Cause I swear to God, if some fucker-”
I cut him off abruptly. “Oh, God, no … no no no … not at all. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything like

that.”
He exhaled sharply, “Thank God.”
Before Edward could continue to question me further, Emmett walked in and cleared his throat.
“Um, I just wanted to let you know Newton’s not going to press any charges. Uh, Jessica told him

that if he does then she’ll press charges against him.”
A look of pained relief was on Edward’s face.
Emmett continued, “He isn’t that bad off anyway. It looked worse than it was. Uh, he left … just so
you know. And Rose drove Jessica home…” he trailed off. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone,” he

mumbled as he walked back out of the kitchen.
Edward turned to me, his eyes filled with despondency and remorse.
“I’m so sorry, Bella. That’s not who I am. That’s not who I want to be. I’m not some kind of a
monster,” he choked out raggedly. He wiped at his eyes and looked away.
I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him in return. I felt so ashamed.
I was keeping so much from him, yet here he was worried about what I thought of him.
What was he going to think of me when he found out the truth of why I was even here in Forks?
And who was Edward Cullen? Obviously, he had a dark side to him. Just how dark was it?
The absolute worst part was that he didn’t want to see himself as some kind of a monster. And
neither did I.
What if he wasn’t a monster after all?
What if I was the monster???

Chapter 8: Epiphany (EPOV)

EPOV
October 31, Halloween Night:
There was something in the air tonight. That much was unmistakable.
I felt it as I drove over to Swan’s place. It was almost palpable.
The interior of my Range Rover was starting to feel a bit stifling, so I pressed the control buttons to

lower the front side windows. Warm, summer-like air filled the cabin quickly. It was fucking weird
for it to feel so much like a late summer evening when we were already well into autumn.
I was abruptly reminded of the season though when I stopped at a traffic light and a gust of wind
blew a flurry of brightly-colored fallen leaves across my path. It was dark, but I could still make out

the red, yellow, and orange colors of the leaves, a stark contrast amongst the dried, brown ones
that traveled along with them.
I thought about how the leaves still full of color had some life left in them. But they, too, would
soon be as lifeless and dead as the others.
A shudder ran down my spine and I admonished myself. Yeah – definitely something fucking crazy

in the air tonight.
Before the light changed to green, I sent Swan a quick text to let her know I was on my way and
would reach her house within minutes. I glanced over at the bottle of Glenfiddich scotch whiskey

that I had grabbed out of my dad’s liquor cabinet.

It was the good thirty-year old shit -- my favorite.
It was worth well over two-hundred dollars. But if we were going to be sitting around drinking in

the middle of fucking nowhere, at least we’d be doing it in some kind of style.
I shook my head in disbelief as I drove. I couldn’t believe I had agreed to this crazy plan to go to the

meadow -- which would be all barren and shit this time of year -- and drink in secrecy, like we were
fucking teenagers.
It had been Swan’s fucking brilliant idea to go drinking in the woods tonight, since neither one of
use had been too keen on attending any Halloween parties, especially after the events that had

occurred at the last party we attended.
But, we both had agreed we should at least do something. Especially since there were no classes

tomorrow.
I would’ve been fine with just hanging out at either of our houses and getting a little drunk. Maybe

watch a movie or some shit. I hadn’t had a drink since that fucking disaster-of-a-party at Jasper’s.
And I was feeling especially stressed-out lately.
I’d never fallen in love before, but I was pretty fucking certain that I was falling for Swan. Fuck.
I was completely captivated by her, even though she was still a fucking mystery to me. Maybe

tonight, with some alcohol in her system, she’d finally open up some and talk to me. It was obvious
there was a lot of shit bothering her. She had seemed especially on edge the whole week,

particularly with me, for some fucking unknown reason.
But I hadn’t forgotten there was another side to Swan – a softer side. I had seen it myself down on

the beach at La Push, the night she had uttered my name. And then again at Jasper’s party.
Both times I had seen the complete Bella I was falling in love with – the woman who could be so

vulnerable … yet so strong.
I had saved her in La Push, and she had saved me at the party. I knew we needed each other, and I

think she knew it as well. But she was obviously keeping fucking secrets from me.
Tonight, Bella Swan was going to answer at least some of my questions.
I parked my vehicle in her driveway and met her on her walkway. Fuck. She looked fucking hot
tonight.
When I realized she had caught me looking at her like she was something edible, I averted my eyes
and stared at the front door of her house, instead. I ran my fingers through my hair and inquired if

she had locked her door. She appeared to be distracted though and, in return, asked me what I was
‘going on about.’
I was a little annoyed that she was so disinterested in her own safety. I mean, sure, Forks was a
generally safe town, but why be careless?
I said something to that effect to her and she laughed at me … out loud.
Then she said something that shocked the fuck out of me. She said she was fucking armed.
I would’ve thought she was joking, but she looked like she was pissed at herself for saying

something she maybe hadn’t intended on sharing with me.
Fuck me – the thought of Bella Swan with a gun fucking turned me on. I felt a stirring in my jeans.
An image of Swan standing there in that shooter-stance – legs spread apart at shoulder’s width --

holding a gun, made my mind fantasize about the things I’d like to do to her in that position. Most
all of them, no -- make that all of them, fucking morally bankrupt.
Our eyes met and I couldn’t look away. Bella Swan was tempting me like some kind of fucking drug.
I saw it in her eyes as well. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.
Just then she broke the mounting tension by asking me if I’d been drinking already. Funny, Swan.
From her teasing tone, I knew it was a joke. However, I certainly needed a fucking drink. Now more

than ever. So I threw the keys to the Range Rover to her and said, “Nope … but I’m sure as shit
starting now … so you’re driving.”
She caught them with ease and we left, heading out into the blackness of the night.
************************************************************************

The whiskey was really fucking good, as usual. I drank quite a bit as Bella drove through the

winding darkness.
I had pointed out the road that led to the secret meadow several days ago, but I was fucking

impressed she seemed to remember the rather circuitous route perfectly. She must have been
really paying attention that particular day.

As we neared the turn-off, she reached for the whiskey.
I shifted the bottle away and smiled at her. “A little anxious there, Swan? Remember -- no drinking
and driving.”
I was serious, even though I tried to say it jokingly. I had already decided I would try to drink most
of the whiskey, which I didn’t expect to pose much of a problem. We’d still have to stay at the

meadow for a long fucking time in order to sober up enough to drive back.
Luckily, the meadow was very secluded, as was the entire area within a good five-mile radius.

There was no chance of anyone coming upon us.
Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Being with Bella, secluded and alone for hours, was

more than fucking appealing to me.

Lost in my thoughts, I heard her tell me to ‘shut up’ as she grabbed the bottle away from me.
Our hands touched and we both let out gasps. Her touch always ignited something in me. It was

some kind of incredibly sexually-charged energy. But, her touch could be comforting as well.

It was fucking crazy. I couldn’t explain it. All I knew was that I craved touching Bella. I wanted to
touch her tonight. Fuck, did I want to touch her … and not just her hand.
She slowly turned onto the gravel road that led back to the meadow. She stopped the Range Rover
and took two longs drinks of the booze. I watched her as she swallowed the warm golden liquid

and shuddered. Fuck. Fantasies of Bella swallowing something besides scotch whiskey ran through
my fucking perverted mind. It was all I could do to keep from moaning aloud.
My whisper was thick with desire when I answered her question about whether we’d definitely be
alone at the meadow.

We made our way down the old, overgrown road carefully, passing the bottle back and forth in

silence. An occasional branch scraped at the windows, and I silently hoped my fucking paint wasn’t
getting all scratched to hell and back. We reached an old tree that had fallen across the road, thus

blocking the entrance to the meadow. Bella turned the headlights off and parked.
The moonlight began to filter through the waning clouds, illuminating the meadow in eerie shades

of grey that gave it an otherworldly appearance. It sure as fuck looked far different than it did in
the springtime. It looked dead – devoid of all life.
I knew I wanted to bring Bella back to the meadow when it would be beautiful – all fucking alive
with greenery and wildflowers.
“In the springtime … it’s fucking beautiful, Bella,” I said softly, breaking the silence.
I was emboldened by the whiskey, so I did something I had wanted to do for weeks. As I continued

to look forward, I cautiously reached over and placed my hand on Bella’s knee. Electricity.
She didn’t pull away, so I ran my index finger slowly along the outer seam of her jeans. As I traced

my way further up her thigh, one finger became two, two became three, three became four, and
soon, my entire hand was pressed into Bella’s hip.
I leaned in close to her ear and whispered, “I’ll bring you back up here then. There will be
wildflowers everywhere. You’ll fucking love it, Bella.”

I purposely emphasized the word ‘fucking’ – letting it glide off my tongue provocatively -- as I

squeezed her hip slightly.
“L-let’s get out,” she said shakily. I smiled to myself, knowing I had definitely gotten Bella Swan

worked up.
She pulled away from my touch and opened the door. I chuckled as she stumbled out and started

to close the door.
I was in control now. I had the upper-hand, and I was going to try my damndest to hold onto it

before Bella collected herself and slipped back into her hard-ass persona.
I had looked through her iPod the other day and noticed one particular song had been played a

number of times. I recognized the artist and remembered seeing a CD in Alice’s car with the same
cover art. After borrowing the CD from Alice and listening to the song a number of times, I

wondered what significance it held for Bella. I decided there was no time like the present to find
out.
“How ‘bout some music?” I asked softly, not waiting for her to answer.

I slid the CD into the stereo and forwarded to the track I wanted to play: ‘Blinding’ by Florence and
the Machine.
“This song reminds me of you,” I whispered to myself.
I quickly exited the vehicle, but not before turning up the volume and making certain the windows

were down so that we could hear the lyrics clearly. Bella appeared to be frozen, leaning against the
driver’s door, which she had finally closed.
I reached her within seconds and stood directly in front of her. Realizing I still held the bottle of
whiskey in my hand, I tipped the bottle back and drank the last sip. I moved my body closer to

Bella as I reached around her to toss the empty bottle onto the floor.
I heard her rapid intake of breath, and I gently pushed her against the door, placing my hands on

either side of her shoulders. I met her gaze, and I struggled to retain control of my own emotions.

As I looked into her eyes, there was not a single ounce of doubt in my mind that somehow I had
fallen in love with Bella Swan. And I fucking wanted her in every way -- mind, body, and soul.
I pressed my body closer to hers and inhaled her mouthwatering scent, trailing my nose along the
silky skin of her neck. I placed a light kiss near her jaw. My breathing became uneven as I moved

my lips close to her ear. Bella Swan was a mystery to me. My need to know her ached within me.
Who was she?
“Who are you, Bella Swan?” I mused softly, not expecting an answer.
I moved my lips across her cheek. The only thing in the world I wanted to do at that moment was

kiss Bella. I couldn’t fucking wait any longer. I’d fantasized and dreamed of what her lips would feel
like beneath mine.

I slowed as my mouth reached hers, wanting to savor the moment.Our lips barely touched – we

breathed each other in. I was more intoxicated by Bella than any amount of fucking alcohol could
ever make me feel.
Our lips pressed together as we kissed for the first time. I felt her arms snake around my shoulders
as she ran her fingers through my hair. She then moved her hands down my back and slid them up

under my t-shirt, igniting my skin as her hands glided along my bare skin. Fuck.
I kissed her harder and she opened her mouth to accept me. Our tongues met tentatively at first,

but then I couldn’t hold back any longer. I kissed Bella with all the passion I had kept bottled up for
so long. She pulled me in even closer to her as her hands traveled over my ass. I groaned as I

pushed my hardness against her, seeking more friction. Bella moaned into my mouth. My cock was
so fucking hard that it was actually painful.
My hands moved all over Bella’s body, touching her everywhere. I felt her nipples harden as my
hands moved over the thin material covering her breasts. I pinched each one lightly, before I

moved my hands over her ass and down the backs of her thighs. Bella felt so fucking toned, but
still soft in all the right places. I moved my lips along her neck again, tasting and lightly biting her

delicious skin. Fucking lilacs. I couldn’t get enough of Bella. I heard her moan while my lips were
pressed to her neck.
“Fuck. I want to feel you, Edward.”
“Fuck … Bella,” I groaned into her neck and moved my hips more forcefully against hers. Fuck

trying to be gentle.
I knew exactly what she wanted. I lifted her up and she lithely wrapped her legs around my waist. I

pushed my hardness against her from this new angle, foregoing any semblance of gentleness. I
could feel how fucking wet she was, even through her jeans. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I moaned just as she did, and she attacked my lips again.
I was fucking torn.
Part of me wanted to rip Bella’s clothes off and fuck her hard up against the door. But another part
of me wanted to wait. I didn’t want to fuck Bella up against the side of the Range Rover, drunk.
At least, I didn’t want for that to be our first time.

I continued to move with her fully-clothed, but as if we weren’t. Groping … grinding … teasing …
touching. And we kissed hungrily. Tasting … licking … sucking. I had never been that into kissing.

But, with Bella, I never wanted to stop kissing.

I vaguely heard the song playing in the background as our lips and bodies moved together fluidly.
…And finally it seemed that the spell was broken….
Just then, I felt warm tears spilling onto my lips. I slowed my movements as I realized Bella was …

crying. What the---?
“Don’t stop,” she whimpered as she tried to press herself back up against me.
I stepped back slightly and her legs slipped down to the ground. I held her up so she wouldn’t fall.

Had I done something wrong?
Why was she crying?
I was worried … like really fucking worried.
“Bella?” I said questioningly as genuine concern overtook me.
She looked down.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?” I felt fucking sick to think that I may have

hurt her in some way.
She shook her head, but I couldn’t see her expression. Something was wrong. If it wasn’t

something I had said or done, then it was her.
What was she keeping from me?
I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes imploringly. “Bella, what are you hiding? I know you’re
hiding something from me.”
She didn’t answer, but leaned her head against my chest, her body still in my arms. If she didn’t
want to answer, then fine. I just held her and stroked her hair. But it didn’t seem to be helping. I

felt her tears soaking through my t-shirt. What the fuck was going on with her?
“Bella, look at me.”
She looked up at me and sobbed even harder. The anguish in her eyes was unfathomable. What
could possibly make Bella fall apart like this?
I had seen a glimpse of her vulnerability only once before -- that night I had found her in La Push. I
wanted answers. How could I help her if she kept refusing to tell me what the fuck was wrong?
Suddenly, Bella wrenched herself away from me and ran.
I watched, stunned, as she climbed over the fallen tree and ran out into the meadow. Bella

wrapped her arms around herself -- as if in fucking pain -- and crumpled to the ground.
I was in disbelief. Bella looked like a broken rag doll as she curled up on the ground under the

silvery moonlight.
I knew there was only one option for me. I had to go to Bella.

Chapter 9: Stripped

BPOV
October 31, Halloween night (continued…):
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t answer his questions.

I couldn’t ask him the questions I was supposed to.
I couldn’t do anything … but run.
So I ran.

I stumbled less than gracefully over the fallen tree, ran into the barren field, and crumpled to the
ground. My sobbing subsided, but the warm tears still traveled down my cheeks in silence.
The night was so quiet. Too quiet. Even the music had stopped.
I curled up on my bed of dried, withered grass and crisp fallen leaves.
The smell from the decaying leaves assaulted my nostrils, as I licked away the salty tears that fell
upon my lips. Lips still swollen and throbbing from kissing Edward.
Edward.
My body perceived him coming closer, even before my ears detected his footsteps. My heart raced

in … fear.
I closed my eyes and wished for him to walk away from me. I was unworthy of his concern. I was

unworthy of his love.
My love would only serve to destroy him.
My love was a poison.
If Edward were a wise man, he would just walk away and leave me here.
I failed.
I had failed … everything … and everyone.
I was broken.
For the second time in the past few weeks, it was Edward’s hands upon me that began to put me

back together. Saying nothing, he pressed himself up against my back and encircled me within his
strong arms.
He must have grabbed a blanket from his Range Rover, because he had one wrapped around
himself. He tucked it under my limp body as best as he could, since I felt too weak to lift myself up.

He still effectively created a warm, soft blanket-cocoon around our bodies as we lay together in a
spooning position.
I tensed at first, but eventually relaxed my body back against his.
His warm breaths caressed my hair as he pulled me tighter into his hold. He wrapped his large

hands around my small ones, effectively engulfing mine in his. Our fingers intertwined.
His heart beat against my back. I listened to the sound. Like everything about Edward, it emanated

pure strength. And it must have been his strength that was returning mine to me. I felt more
composed, more focused.
I don’t know how long we stayed that way -- just wrapped up with each other. The energy between
us was still there, but it was different from earlier. The electricity had been replaced with that

soothing, calm feeling. It was like our bodies knew how to respond to one another, in whatever
way we needed, at any given point in time.
Edward was extremely quiet; I heard and felt his warm, deep breaths. For a moment, I thought
maybe he had fallen asleep, but when I rolled over to face him, I saw he was awake.
We adjusted ourselves so that our arms remained wrapped around each other.

He smiled at me, and even under the silvery moonlight, I could see the varying shades of emerald

in his eyes. I couldn’t help but smile back as I finally broke the silence.
“Edward, I’m sorry,” I whispered.
I truly was sorry, for everything. I had to at least try and make something right this night.
I continued in a hushed tone, saying the words I should have uttered weeks ago, “We have to talk.”
“Bella, we don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to,” he whispered in return.
But I was thinking clearly for the first time in weeks. I wanted to tell him everything; however, I

knew I could only tell him an abbreviated version. I was not going to be foolish enough to put him
into any more danger by discussing The Project. But I could tell him some of my less dangerous

secrets. And I could hope he would tell me some of his in return.
It was going to be hard, and I faced the fact that Edward may no longer want to be around me. But

I had to take that chance. My secrets would end up destroying us for sure.
I cleared my throat, but continued to speak in a hushed tone. “I have to tell you … some things

about why I came to Forks. And I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore after you
hear them.”
“Bella, there is nothing you could say that would ever make me want that,” Edward said earnestly.
I hoped he would feel the same way after he heard what I was about to tell him.
I paused and took several deep breaths, and then I continued. “I-I had a … friend … who came up
here a couple of months ago. He was last seen in La Push … at a party up on those cliffs, but he

never returned. He was supposed to be visiting a man named James. Part of the reason I came
here was to find out what happened to him. I just need to know.” My voice cracked while my heart

beat furiously.
In order to stick with my original story and not raise too many questions, I added, “I also really did

want to make some changes in my life. A fresh start, like I told you.” My words didn’t sound as
hollow as they had seven weeks ago.
Edward’s eyes were alight with a range of quickly changing emotions. What I perceived as surprise
and confusion quickly turned to sudden realization and horror.
“Oh … my … God.” His breath drew in sharply. “Bella, was your friend’s name … Jacob?”
Time suddenly froze.
Edward had met Jake.
I couldn’t speak.
I just nodded to Edward and held my breath, fearing what he might tell me.
“I met him, Bella, down in La Push. I was at that party.” Something flashed across Edward’s face, his

eyes looked troubled. His expression was that of someone remembering something unpleasant.
I pulled away from Edward’s arms.
He must have realized where my thoughts were heading, because he quickly added, “Fuck, Bella …
I had nothing to do with what happened. Hell, I even filed a report with the police the next day.”
Interesting. The Project files didn’t mention any police reports having been filed anywhere. But,
the police department in La Push wasn’t on any computer system, they did everything manually.

They must have misplaced it or something, because if a report had existed, one of our agents
would have recovered it that weekend when they were in La Push. I was sure of that.

Edward was still talking. “…but the officer said they never found anything. He told me no missing

persons report had ever been filed. I thought it all must have been a bad dream, Bella.” Edward
closed his eyes and looked pained as he said it again, “I thought it was all a bad dream. Oh, fuck …

Bella….” his voice trailed off.
I sat up abruptly, my heart still pounding furiously within my chest. The blanket fell away from my

shoulders. “Edward, you have to tell me what happened at that party. You have to tell me
everything.”
He sat up next to me.
I moved away slightly.
He raked his fingers through his hair, as his eyes met mine tentatively. He took a deep breath and
exhaled.
“Bella, I met him -- your friend, Jacob -- for the first time that night. It was James who organized
the bonfire party. I barely knew James. He was just a guy to party with. Your friend was there with

him.”
Edward’s voice was strained as he continued his story, brows furrowed. “But, James seemed like he

didn’t really like Jacob.” I cringed as Edward said his name. “We were all partying … a lot … that
night. I got way too fucked-up. Emmett was there, too. But he left early. Some of the Quil---”
I cut him off, because I already knew all of those facts from the files. “Edward, just tell me what
happened to Jacob. I just want to hear those details,” I said slowly, in a controlled voice.
“Well, most everyone left … I was there with just James and your friend. I was lying by the bonfire,
and I kept drifting in and out of sleep. Like I said, I was really fucked up. And I’m pissed at myself

now, because maybe I could have fucking done something.” Edward’s voice was choked with
emotion now. “I kept thinking I was having a bad dream or some shit. I heard them arguing … I saw

them fighting … at the fucking edge of the cliff. James was trying to wrestle something away from
your friend … a gun, Bella….” I watched Edward’s face contort with the pain of a horrific memory.
Relief washed over me as Edward, unknowingly, confirmed he had not had anything to do with
Jake’s death – it had been James.
Still, sorrow gripped my heart thinking of Jake’s last moments. I wanted to cry, but my training
from the agency overrode my emotions. I still had questions … and I still needed answers.
Edward lowered his voice to an almost-inaudible whisper, “Bella, I heard the … gunshots.”
Silence.
“How many?” I asked, back into questioning mode. Even though I knew the answer, I wanted to
confirm the facts.
Edward gave me a puzzled look. I guess to him it was starting to sound like some sort of an
interrogation. In a way, it was.
However, I certainly didn’t want him to start to suspect anything – like maybe I was connected to
some sort of regular law enforcement agency. So I toned it down a notch.
“I just want to know what happened,” I said softly with my eyes downcast.
“I know, Bella. I’m trying to tell you what I know, but I don’t remember much more. I woke up and I

was alone … or so I fucking thought.” Edward’s face was blank, but I could see the same rage
beneath the surface that had been there the night of Jasper’s party, when he had pounced on Mike

Newton.

“Who was there?” I asked, even though I was sure it had been James.
“James. Um, that’s how I know there really was a gun there. I didn’t dream that part. He held a
fucking gun to the back of my head and threatened me.” Edward closed his eyes again, grimacing,

“He told me to close my eyes … and, Bella, I fucking thought that was it for me. I really thought
that fucker was going to kill me.”
Waves of guilt and nausea washed over me. I was going to kill Edward as well … before I had heard
this story.
At least that had been my plan. But I now knew in my heart I couldn’t have done it. I was way too
much in love with Edward.
I didn’t know what I would have done if Edward had played a part in Jacob’s death. Obviously, the
idea that he may have been involved had been destroying me.
I could never tell him the real reasons for my breakdown earlier … that part had to stay a secret.
I shuddered as a sudden chill ran down my spine.
“Bella … are you going to be alright?”
I regained my composure and nodded. “Just tell me the rest,” I whispered softly.
“James left, and, eventually, Alice came looking for me. She saw the gun was still there. And then I
did something really fucking stupid,” he said as a look of shame crossed his face. “I was so fucking

pissed … I picked up the fucking gun. Bella, I know better than to do something so stupid, but I
picked it up anyway and threw it into the fucking woods….” he trailed off.
So that was how his prints had ended up on the gun along with James’ and Jacob’s prints.
“Thank you, Edward … for telling me what happened,” I said sincerely. It sounded kind of pathetic,

but I really was grateful he had been so open with me.
Edward looked at me suspiciously. “Why didn’t you -- or someone -- file a missing persons report

though? And just let law enforcement handle it.”
“I did, Edward,” I lied smoothly. I hated having to do it, but it was necessary. “I guess the police in

La Push missed it or something. That’s why I figured I could find out more answers up here on my
own.”
“Bella, that could have been dangerous for you,” Edward said in a grave voice.
Again, more irony. I thought about the gun sitting in my purse under the seat of the Range Rover. I

had certainly not been the one in any danger.
Edward’s concern was overwhelming, as I was still processing my own emotions -- relief, guilt,

sadness. And strongest of them all: a feeling of solace that James had not shot Edward as well.
I did the only thing that somehow felt oddly right. I threw my arms around Edward. “God – I’m so

thankful that you didn’t end up dead as well. I would have lost you both.” My voice faltered.
I was surprised to realize the extent of my relief that James hadn’t killed Edward that night. It was

outweighing my relief that Edward had no involvement in Jacob’s death.
Edward pulled away and lifted my chin, so that my eyes met his.
“Bella, was that the only reason why you were so upset earlier? Because you thought I would be
mad at you for keeping it a secret that you came here to find out what happened to your …

friend?”
I prayed that Edward wasn’t finding it too much of a coincidence that I happened to have

befriended him, one of the last two people to see Jacob alive.
I feigned ignorance. “What do you mean?”
“Was he the reason why you got drunk down in La Push that night?”
I cringed at the memory of that night, but I answered honestly. “Yes,” I muttered.
“Was he -- Jacob -- your boyfriend or something?” Edward asked.
I breathed a sigh of relief, but was still uneasy. I didn’t want to divulge too much information about
Jacob.
Edward deserved an answer. “Yeah, I guess. But we were always more just friends,” I said, surely
confusing him all the more.
Edward’s eyes darkened with something. Jealousy?
“Well, which one was it, Bella? Did you fuck— I mean, did you have sex with him or not?” he

snapped.
He instantly looked apologetic.
“I’m sorry, Bella. I’m an ass for asking you something like that after you just found out-- …I’m just a
jealous fuck, I guess.”
I wasn’t mad at him. I had already decided to tell him everything I could without putting him in any
danger. So, as uncomfortable as it was, I felt obligated to be honest.
I wanted to be honest with Edward about those kinds of things.
“Yeah, we had sex,” I said simply. Anger or jealousy -- maybe both -- flashed in his eyes again

briefly.“Um, but I wasn’t in love with him,” I added lamely.
I was somewhat ashamed to say the words aloud, even though they were true.
“I mean … I loved him. I truly did.” My voice cracked. “But I always loved him mostly as a friend.
The sex just kind of … happened.”
It felt strange confessing my real feelings for Jacob to Edward. But it also felt good to finally be able
to talk about it with someone.
“Was he in love with you?”
“Yes,” I whispered, ashamed.
Edward just nodded like he wasn’t surprised at all, and then he asked me another question.
“Were there any other … boyfriends?” Edward sure wasn’t kidding when he said he was a ‘jealous

fuck.’ Wow. A part of me was kind of flattered he was so interested in my past love life, and so
jealous. I guess it made me feel more desirable to Edward.
“No,” I answered truthfully.
He scoffed. “Are you seriously telling me you’ve only ever fuck-…er, had sex with just one guy?”
I didn’t know whether I should be offended or not. Talking about these kinds of things was new
territory for me.
“Yes, I am. We can’t all be like you, Cullen,” I said, referring to his well-know womanizing past.
Edward lay back against the blanket again and pulled me onto his chest with him. “I think that it’s a

good thing, Swan,” he said gently while stroking his hands along my back as I lay across his chest.
“I’m not proud of my past.” His voice sounded regretful.

I knew more than enough details about Edward’s past with women from his file. Not to mention,

his sexual history was bordering on legendary around Forks. So, I didn’t need to ask many
questions. But I was curious about some things. Things only he could tell me.
“Were you in love with any of them?” I asked.
I felt him sigh as I put my ear to his heart to listen to the strong beats again. “No. None of them.”

He moved his hands to my hair, running his long fingers through it gently.
“What about Jessica?”
“I cared for her, but I never loved her,” he answered, and then added, “Do you think I’m a bastard
for having stayed with her, even when I knew I didn’t love her?”
I lifted my chin onto his chest and looked into his eyes. “No,” I said truthfully.

I had no room to judge. Even though Jake had been my only lover, I was still not that different from
Edward. I had also stayed with someone I hadn’t been in love with.
That thought made me wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone you were in love
with.
I knew I was in love with Edward. And I knew -- from seeing it in his eyes earlier -- that Edward was
falling in love with me. It had terrified me so much in that moment. But, after hearing Edward’s

revelations, I was no longer afraid to accept it.
Sex with Jake had been fun and all, but it lacked that intense passion and connection I had always

heard about. I certainly had felt passion with Edward when we had kissed. And the connection we
had was obvious -- just by being near him.

Thoughts of our earlier activities up against the Range Rover filled my mind, making me think of a

question for Edward.
With my chin still on his chest and our eyes still locked, I asked him. “Why didn’t you … um … when

I said I wanted to … uh … feel you … why didn’t you….” I stopped stammering, unable to find the
right words.
Edward chuckled knowingly, while pulling me up close enough that our faces were now within
inches of one another. He tenderly pushed my hair back on either side of my face with both of his

hands, weaving his fingers into it gently.
He spoke softly in a slightly husky voice while holding my gaze intently.

It was definitely hot as hell.
“Bella, are you asking me why I didn’t fuck you?”
I needed to catch my breath and clear my head.
His voice, the way he said fuck.
I could feel my nipples harden as I shamelessly pressed myself into his firm, chiseled chest. I put
my hands on his upper arms, and I felt his lean muscles move beneath my grasp. I slid my knees

onto the blanket on either side of his waist, effectively straddling Edward Cullen. I pushed into him
slightly, feeling him harden beneath me.
“Um … yeah … I guess I am,” I said breathlessly.
Edward slid his hands out of my hair, letting it fall to the sides of my face, as he lightly ran his

fingertips down my back, stopping at the hem of my shirt. He toyed with the hem for a few

seconds, and then deftly slipped his fingers up under my shirt and ran his hands along my bare

back, without breaking eye contact with me. He shifted under me so I could feel just how hard he
was again, and then he pulled me towards his mouth. My lips fell hungrily upon his and he kissed

me deeply. His mouth eventually moved to my ear, where his tongue traced my earlobe, his hot,
ragged breaths at my ear.
“Do you want me to fuck you, Bella?” he asked as his hands now ran teasingly over my jean-clad
ass. He stopped at the tops of my thighs and curved his hands in so that his fingers were splayed

upon my inner thighs. He lightly nudged my legs open wider. He buried his face into my neck and
began to place feather-light kisses up the length of my neck, until he reached my other ear.

“Bella?” he purred, waiting for my answer.
My mind raced through a myriad of thoughts all at once. I wasn’t sure. We didn’t have any

protection, although I was still on birth control. Maybe he had protection with him? I wasn’t sure if
this was a good idea after such an intense night. Or, maybe that would make it better. I just didn’t

know.
I didn’t have to make up my mind because Edward purred into my ear again, this time lifting his

hips to circle his hard cock against my core. I moaned aloud as he spoke. “I think we should wait.
When I do fuck you, Bella, I want to fuck you on a bed … where I can do everything I want to do

with your body … and to your body.”
Fuck.
I couldn’t even answer, so I just kind of whimpered as I shamelessly grinded myself against him. He
felt so fucking good, even through our jeans. God – Edward was blessed. His cock felt fucking huge.
I was curious as to what it would feel like in my hand so I reached down and ran my hand along the
length of his cock, feeling it twitch beneath my touch. I popped open the top buttons and reached

down into his jeans, momentarily surprised to realize he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Hot. I
palmed the head of his cock, and then ran my hand down the shaft as best as I could within the

confines of his jeans.
Now it was Edward’s turn to moan.
In one fluid movement, Edward lifted me up and off of him swiftly and moved us so that he was
now lying on top of me, his body between my open legs.
Edward Cullen was now in control … and I liked it … a lot.
He smiled at me reassuringly as he gathered my wrists in his hands. He placed a reverent kiss on

each wrist, before moving my arms to an outstretched position above my head. He positioned my
wrists close together and held them, still above my head and pressed into the blanket, with just

one of his hands.
I eagerly succumbed, still beneath him.
I was at Edward’s mercy now.
He shifted slightly to the side so he had access to my body, but most of his body still covered mine.

He looked at me intently with smoldering eyes as he started to unbutton my blouse with his free
hand, his breath steady.
Mine was not.
He undid each button in deliberately agonizing fashion, all the while watching my reactions. He

held my hands lightly enough above my head that I considered pulling away, so I could just rip my
damn shirt off. But, there was something about letting Edward have control over me that just

turned me on in ways I didn’t think were possible.
When he finally had all the buttons undone, he slowly pulled the sides of my shirt open to expose
my breasts, heaving in the confines of my white lacy bra. He ran his hand across my stomach, along

the top of my jeans, and then up the center of my chest between my breasts, purposelessly not
touching my breasts directly.
I was gasping for breath and letting out little groans of pleasure. He was teasing me to no end, and
he seemed to be enjoying every second of it. I was about to slip my hands out of his hold, but he

tightened his grasp slightly and moved his mouth to my left nipple, tracing it with his tongue …
through my bra. He moved to my right nipple and repeated the same action.
The warmth and wetness from his tongue seeped through the thin material of my bra, eliciting
another moan from me. He slowly reached behind my back and swiftly unhooked my bra. He lifted

it up in the front and put his mouth on my left breast. He sucked and licked my nipple, circling it
with his tongue. Then he moved his mouth away slightly and lightly blew his hot breath on the

wetness he had left on my nipple. Fuck. He certainly knew what he was doing. He then did the
same thing with my other breast.
He made no effort to remove my shirt or bra completely, and he still held my hands in his grasp. He
made a path of kisses up to my ear again. His ragged, hot breathing did all sorts of crazy things to

my coherency.
“Bella, do you want me to let go of your hands?” He smirked.
He knew the answer. I shook my head no. I liked what he was doing. He kissed me on the mouth. I
opened my mouth for him and our tongues met.

His hand dropped to my jeans, and he undid the button and zipper with ease.
He pulled away from our kiss long enough to whisper, “Lift up some.”
I obliged and he pushed my jeans down. I kicked them off the rest of the way, along with my
sneakers. He placed his hand over my white lacy matching panties -- though I didn’t think he gave a

shit what they looked like, or that they matched my bra.
He palmed my sex and then traced my opening with his index finger, stopping at my clit, where he

started to circle his fingers expertly – through my panties. Oh. My. God.
“Fuck, Bella. You are so fucking wet,” he groaned into my ear.
He moved my panties aside and moved his fingers along my wet folds. I writhed under him. He was
making me so hot; I would’ve done anything he wanted.
God – no wonder he had girls throwing themselves at his feet.
He continued to trace and caress my folds, before placing his thumb on my clit and one finger

inside of me. He started to suck my left breast at the same time. I knew I was going to come soon.
It was just too much, and he was too damn good at what he was doing.
Edward Cullen still holding my wrists above my head with one hand, sucking and licking my breast
with his hot mouth, while rubbing my clit and finger-fucking me perfectly with his other hand …

just sent me over the edge.
“Oh – God,” I said, gasping.
Edward quickened the pace of his fingers and thumb … and then … I came … harder than I ever
had.
As the final shudders of orgasm ripped through me, Edward moved his hand to the top of my

panties. But instead of maybe straightening them out, like I thought he might, he started taking

them off.
He released my hands from above my head so he could use both of his hands to slide them slowly

down my legs. Then he pulled off my shirt and bra.
He kissed me again. “I want to see you stripped,” he whispered against my lips.
I moaned in response. He laughed lightly again, the sound more velvet-like than usual. He shifted
so that he could see my now-naked body in the moonlight. His eyes raked over my entire body

from top to bottom.
“Turn over,” he demanded hungrily.
I did as he asked, and he lifted my hips up off the blanket and pushed my legs apart further. I
thought maybe he had changed his mind and wanted to do it after all, doggie-style. A fleeting

image of Jake went through my mind, because he had loved to do it doggie-style, for some
unknown reason.
My thoughts instantly returned to Edward though when I felt him slide his head under my now-
dripping wet pussy, place his hands on my ass, and pull me to his mouth. Holy Fuck.
He expertly licked my folds before taking my clit into his mouth. He flicked my clit with his tongue
and made little circles around it. I felt him place two fingers just at my opening at the same time.

He sucked on my clit as he plunged both fingers into me. The pleasure was so intense, I leaned my
face into the blanket and cried out in pleasure.
I heard Edward rustling with something, so I peeked down to see he had released his cock from his
jeans and was jacking himself off while he ate me out.
I leaned my head back against the blanket and came … again … and again.
I was dizzy, and not fully recovered, but I scooted forward and sat up, turning to face Edward. He

was still lying on his back, stroking his engorged cock.
I leaned forward and kissed him fully, tasting my sex on his mouth. I reached down and started

moving my hand with his along his length. He moaned into my mouth.

I slowed our kisses and whispered against his lips, “Edward, does that feel good?”
“Fuck, yeah,” he answered in a hoarse whisper.
I then whispered, “I want to taste you, too.” And God -- did I ever.
Edward groaned. “Fuck, Bella.”
I moved down to where our hands were working his cock and moved his hand away. I pulled his
jeans down further, but not off. I looked up at him through my lashes to see he was watching me

intently. I lay down between his legs and grazed my nose along his shaft. I loved how he smelled.
He was just so... Edward.
I licked my way up along his shaft until I reached the head of his cock. I took him in my mouth and
moved back down his shaft quickly, fully engulfing his massiveness.
I heard a quick intake of breath from Edward. With him now completely in my mouth, I moved my
way back up, slowly. I continued the rhythm of down fast--up slow with my mouth, while my

breasts grazed against his bare thighs, the hairs on his legs tickling my nipples. Edward’s hands
were in my hair in no time. He brushed it back from my face so he could get a better view of what I

was doing to him.

“Fuck … fuck … I’m gonna come soon, Bella,” he said in an uneven voice.
I felt him trying to gently nudge me away, and I knew why, but I ignored him. I wanted to taste
every part of Edward.
I quickened my pace with my mouth and moved my hands to the base of his cock, so I could work
him with my mouth and hands, my saliva aiding in my ability to move my hands in perfect unison

with my mouth.
His breath grew more ragged, until I felt warm liquid hit the back of my throat. I swallowed as I

moved my mouth up along his cock, savoring every last drop. I allowed my tongue one final swirl
around the head of his cock, before I pulled away.
I curled up into Edward’s waiting arms again, and he wrapped the blanket back around us. Edward
played with my hair as I lay on top of him, both of us lost in our post-orgasmic bliss.
Edward had made me feel beyond incredible. I had never experienced such intense orgasms. I
didn’t really like to think about how Edward had learned to do all of those things to a woman.
The files weren’t that detailed, so I only knew he was experienced with women and that he had no
sexual diseases. Apparently, Edward had himself checked out periodically, and I did have access to

those files. I was never happier to have access to that sort of information. Because I knew I wanted
to fuck Edward, and I wanted to feel him, not him sheathed in a condom.
I was clean as well, since I’d only been with Jake, and he with me, as far as I knew. Even if he had
been with others, I also had checked out fine. The Project required periodic screenings of all the

agents -- for everything and anything imaginable.
Edward stopped playing with my hair. “Bella, are you still awake?” he whispered.
I guess I must have been really quiet, lost in my thoughts. “Yeah,” I answered as I looked up at him.
He looked gorgeous and content under the moonlight.
He threw me a crooked smile and tightened his arms around me, “I want to take you out on some
real dates. Like dinner and the movies and sh-…stuff.”
I couldn’t help but smile back. I wanted to spend as much time with Edward as possible. But now,
for very different reasons than before.
I’d have to speak with Aro first, but I didn’t think it would be a problem for me to finish my
academic year here, even though my mission was now complete. I could certainly travel from here

if anything came up with the agency. Maybe this could actually all work out, after all.
As we lay there wrapped up together under the silver moon, the night air still unseasonably warm,

I felt an emotion I hadn’t felt in a long, long time -- hope.

Chapter 10: I Come Clean

EPOV
November 12, Friday:
Fuck. I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect tonight.
Bella was going to be coming over to my house for dinner – just the two of us. However, I was more

inclined to be looking forward to the dessert.
Alice had already helped me out tremendously by strategically arranging long-stemmed red and

white roses and some kind of little white candles all over the dining room, as well as in my

bedroom. I was a little bit fucking unsure about the flowers in my bedroom, but she assured me

Bella would love it. On that one, I had to trust Alice’s judgment.
To say Alice was thrilled Bella and I were officially dating would be an understatement. My sister

was fucking ecstatic. She was convinced we were meant to be together, like she and Jasper. I hated
to lend credence to such girly ideas, but I tended to agree with her.
After classes had ended one afternoon, I had also mentioned to Rose and Emmett that Bella and I
were now a couple. Their reactions had been … interesting.
“Whatever, Edward. That’s nice,” Rose had said as she paused briefly, before getting into Emmett’s
jeep. Typical disinterested Rose behavior.
Emmett had been more enthusiastic, smacking me on the back and asking me if I was ‘tapping that
ass’ yet. I shot him a look that could kill, and he had backed down immediately.
“Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean anything by that. Uh, I think Bella’s a great girl. I’m really happy for you,
Edward.”
And, I knew he meant it. Emmett could be crass, but he was still a great guy and a good friend.
Bella and I had ended up sleeping in the meadow most of Halloween night, and I had driven her

back to her house in the wee morning hours, before daybreak.
She had almost left her purse in my Range Rover, but I remembered seeing her slip it under my

driver’s side seat -- all sneaky-like -- when I had been buckling up my seat belt the night before.
I reached under the seat and handed it to her as she was getting out.
Fuck – that thing was heavy. What the fuck did girls carry around in those things?
Her face had blanched as she snatched the bag away from me rather abruptly. I chalked it up to

her maybe being embarrassed about something she had in her purse. Especially since she had
obviously thought I hadn’t seen her slip it under there.
I was too fucking tired to give it much consideration at the time, and she ended up making a mad
dash for the door anyway, before I could even give her a good-bye kiss. Strange. I guess we had

both been overly-exhausted that morning.
After catching up on some much needed sleep back at my own house, I had called Bella later that

same day to ask her if she wanted to see a movie in Port Angeles that night. Even though she had
sounded tired, she readily accepted.
I let her choose the film, and we ended up watching some kind of movie about vampires and
fucking werewolves, but none of the characters were particularly scary. The one vampire dude was

in love with a human girl and it was causing both of them a lot of fucking grief. It was definitely
more of a love story than a horror movie, and Bella fucking loved it. Whatever.
At school, classes were going great for both of us. We seemed to be having more fun than ever in
those classes we shared, and we made it a point to meet up with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose

for lunch almost every day now.
Bella seemed to be a lot more relaxed than she had been prior to our night in the meadow, but I

still had the feeling there were more secrets Bella was still keeping from me.
I made a conscious choice not to dwell on it. I just wanted to enjoy being with Bella.
Even with all the time we spent together at school, I still craved spending even more time with her.
So, we also ended up spending almost every weekday evening studying at either my house or her

house.

To my surprise, we spent a lot of fucking time just talking about shit.
In the past, I had never wanted to share things about myself with anyone. Things were different
with Bella. I found myself actually enjoying telling her stuff. I even told her all about my happy

childhood with my family.
One evening, while we were taking a break from studying, I pulled out the old family photo

albums.
The ones with all the fucking embarrassing pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Nobody

outside of my family ever got to see those fucking pictures. Like the one of me with my face all red
and scrunched-up, sitting in the sand and crying like a fucking baby on some sunny beach. All

because Alice had stolen my little blue plastic pail.
Okay – so maybe I had only been five years old, but that was still some private shit.
Bella oohed and aahed often, though, seemingly enjoying herself as she turned the pages that
chronicled my life. I ended up feeling really fucking bad later, though, when Bella shared some stuff

with me about her childhood.
I didn’t even know what to say when she told me her real parents had died in a car crash in

Arizona.
Worse yet, she had been in the fucking car with them.
Thankfully, she told me she had no memory of the actual accident. But she did remember waking
up all alone in a hospital room and being told everything in her life was gone. Her parents. Her

home. Every fucking thing she had ever known.
That was some fucked up shit.
Yeah – I felt like an ass knowing that the same year I was crying on some beach over a plastic pail,
Bella was dealing with having had her whole world destroyed in one night.
Bella then told me she ended up being adopted by some distant cousin of her father’s, and
subsequently went to California to live with him and his wife.
She was kind of sketchy on the details following her adoption. She claimed she had a happy
childhood after being adopted, but I sensed there was something missing. She assured me they all

loved one another, and I didn’t doubt that, but it seemed different from the love my family had for
one another.
She sometimes referred to them in an almost business-like way. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I
knew something was fucking amiss. I wasn’t going to push it though – yet.
One thing I was really fucking ecstatic about was that I was making good on my promise to take her
out on some ‘real’ dates. I took her out to dinner at an Italian restaurant in Port Angeles last

Saturday night, and then to the Seattle Art Museum on Sunday afternoon. Of course, I ended up
groping her near the ‘Light in the Darkness’ exhibition.
I was trying to keep my fucking hands to myself most of the time, mainly because I wanted to do
things the right way with Bella. I didn’t want our relationship to end up being based on just sex. I’d

had enough of those types of relationships – if you could even call them relationships -- to last a
lifetime.
I was sure I was in love with Bella, but I had yet to tell her. I was waiting for the proverbial right
moment.
I also still had yet to fuck Bella, but I was certain we weren’t going to be able to hold out much

longer.

Physically, things were just too intense between us. There was still that energy, electric-soothing-

something, when we touched. It was fucking hard to stay away from.
I was pretty much totally fucking addicted to Bella. It was like that vampire dude had said in the

movie: she was like ‘my own personal brand of heroin.’
And I guess I needed my hits of Bella, because we ended up messing around a couple more times

after the night in the meadow -- once at her house and once at my house. It had taken all of my
fucking restraint to keep myself from just fucking her both times, especially when she rubbed her

wet pussy along the length of my cock oh-so-slowly. I had been so fucking tempted to just slide it
in, but I didn’t.
I had asked Bella about protection, and she told me she was on some kind of birth control.
Instead of being fucking elated, that little nugget of information aggravated me to no end. I knew

she was on it solely because she had been fucking that Jacob guy.
I felt like a real dick being jealous over her relationship with a guy who was now dead. But just the

fact that I had met him and shook his hand, and that he was the only other man who had ever
touched Bella like that, fucking pissed me off.
During our discussion, I told Bella I had never fucked anyone without a condom, which was the
truth, and that I had been tested for all the diseases and shit. She told me she had also been

tested, even though she’d only been with Jacob, and she didn’t think he’d been with anyone other
than her.
In any case, the bottom line was that we were both disease-free. This made me happy as hell,
because I really wanted to try fucking without a condom. But, I mostly wanted to fuck Bella

without a condom. Fuck.
I was kind of hoping tonight would be the night, if everything went well.
Alice had also been kind enough to make the dinner for us ahead of time, so all I had to do was
heat it up. It was some kind of pasta dish, and it had smelled fucking delicious when Alice was

cooking it. I only hoped I didn’t fucking burn it or some shit, since my culinary skills were basically
nonexistent.
I made a point to ask Bella to dress up tonight, another one of Alice’s brilliant ideas.
I didn’t like it at first, because I wanted to be fucking comfortable, but then I had a flash of how

Bella had looked in that short black lacy dress at Jasper’s party. I kind of hinted to Bella that I’d like
to see it make a re-appearance tonight.
I was wearing my best black tailored suit with a crisp white dress shirt, a black silk tie, and black
dress shoes. After straightening my tie, I checked my cell and saw it was time for me to pick up

Bella. I took a final look in the mirror. Everything looked to be in place, except for my always-
unruly hair. I just ran my fingers through it, like usual.
I had also not-so-subtly hinted to Bella that she should pack an overnight bag. We still had yet to
spend the whole night together … properly.
I couldn’t wait to wake up next to Bella, especially in my own fucking bed.

**************************************

“So, Cullen, are you going to actually eat anything tonight?” Bella asked, as I toyed with my pasta.

I was so busy watching Bella from across the dining room table that I hadn’t really eaten much.

Thankfully, she had worn the hot black dress with some kind of equally-hot black heels. Her arms
and legs were bare, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her skin that looked like fucking porcelain.

Her long hair was down, just the way I liked it. She looked like she had on a little more of that
smoky make-up around her eyes, making her look sexier than ever. I really was too fucking

distracted to eat.
I took a sip from my glass of Chianti and answered her in a low voice, “Maybe I’m just waiting for

dessert, Swan.”
Our eyes locked. There was such a range of unidentifiable emotions in her chocolate-brown eyes,

but I definitely detected lust in them. I knew women well enough to recognize that particular look.

“Hmmm … and what are we having for dessert anyway, Cullen?” she purred back to me.
“It’s a surprise,” I said, winking at her.
Bella pushed her chair back and stood up. “I think I want my surprise now,” she said in a low voice.
I got up and swiftly walked around the table, until I found myself standing directly behind her. “It’s

upstairs,” I whispered into her ear, as I ran my hands lightly down her bare arms, just barely
touching her creamy skin.
A little shiver went through Bella as she leaned back against my chest. “Show me,” she whispered.
As I was leading Bella down the hall to my bedroom, she noticed my piano in a seldom-used room

that I usually kept behind a closed door. The only reason the door had been left open was because
I had gone in there earlier to play a little piano music in an effort to relax. I hadn’t played in such a

long time, but I’d been feeling a bit more inspired after Halloween. Yeah – I fucking knew why.
“Edward!” she exclaimed, “You have a piano? Do you play?”
“A little,” I answered, not wanted to brag that I was pretty fucking decent at playing.
Bella turned and looked up at me, her eyes dancing with excitement. “Will you play something?

Please, for me?”
“Of course,” I answered as I led her into the room, my hand lightly grazing her hip.
We sat next to one another on the piano bench. I began to play the same song I had been playing
earlier in the day: River Flows in You by Yiruma.
Bella leaned her head against my shoulder as I played. “Edward, that is so beautiful.”
I glanced down at her and noticed a single tear roll down her cheek. I stopped playing and lifted

her chin to me. “Don’t cry,” I whispered as I kissed her lone tear away, savoring the saltiness on my
lips.
Bella climbed onto my lap, hiking up her already-short dress, and wrapped her legs around me. She
raked her hands through my hair and pulled on it slightly.
Her eyes held such seriousness, but at least there were no more tears. “Edward Cullen, I don’t
deserve you.”
She shook her head slightly and dropped her voice to a mere whisper, “Someday… someday, I’ll tell
you my whole story, and I can only hope you will still want to be with me.”
I leaned my forehead against hers and buried my fingers in her hair. “Bella, I’ll never leave you… I
love you.”

I said it, and I meant it.
There was nothing left to tell Bella.
The time had been right, and I had come clean about loving her. She now knew all my secrets.
Bella placed a small, chaste kiss on my lips. “Edward, I love you, too,” she whispered against my
lips.
In that moment, I actually felt fucking pure, unadulterated elation.
Our mouths met with unbridled passion. Her hands were in my hair as she rocked her body against

mine.
I moved my hands to her knees, and then started my ascent up her thighs and under the hem of

her dress. I moaned into her mouth when I discovered she had on no fucking panties. It had been
apparent at one point, earlier in the evening, that she didn’t have a bra on either under her dress.
Just that dress and those shoes – fuck me.
Bella reached down to undo my belt and pants zipper, but I got to them faster than she did.
Bella stood up, and I pushed the piano bench away from us, as I slipped out of my pants and boxer
briefs, kicking my shoes and socks off as well. Bella swiftly undid my tie and unbuttoned my shirt.

She slipped the shirt off my shoulders and now I was the one standing stripped and bare before
her.
Her eyes moved over my body, seemingly in appreciation.
“God, Edward, you really are fucking beautiful,” she said huskily.
That was all it took.
My mouth was back on hers greedily. I hiked her dress up even higher and pressed my hardness up

against her wetness, skin to skin. I dragged my cock along the length of her sex with purposeful
slowness, and then slowly back again, paying careful attention in circling her clit with the head of

my cock. Bella let out little gasps and moans as I continued with my movements, increasing the
pace and pressure with each pass.
At some point, I lifted her up and settled her onto the keyboard, her ass striking multiple piano
keys at once.
A cacophony of distorted notes filled the air.
She wrapped her warm bare legs around me, contrasting with the coolness of her high heels as

they scraped along the skin on my back. Fuck – that felt fucking good.
My throbbing cock was positioned at her slick entrance. I pulled back slightly as I looked into her

eyes for confirmation. She nodded as she drew in her breath.
I knew I had been blessed with both length and girth, and I wanted Bella to feel me entering her

inch-by-fucking-inch.
So, I entered her slowly … deliberately … filling her … consuming her.
Bella gasped out, “Oh … my … God … Edward.”
A few stray piano notes rang out as I pulled partially out, and then thrust back into her.
While deep inside of her, I stilled my movement and looked into her eyes. I knew she had secrets
she was withholding from me. But I made a silent promise to myself, and to her, that no matter

what they were, I would never leave her.

I pulled out slowly and then slammed back into her. This time, with enough force that the keys

beneath Bella protested in piercing, distorted pitched sounds.
I continued to fuck Bella up against the piano keyboard hard, but unhurriedly.
I tried not to focus too much on how fucking incredible she felt. I was so fucking glad I wasn’t
wearing a condom with Bella. I was feeling all of her.
I knew I wasn’t going to last too much longer with it being the first time with her, and the first time
without a condom. Not to mention, the extreme eroticism of fucking her on my piano.
“Bella, I’m gonna come soon … I can’t….” I said in an uneven voice.
“Edward, I want you to come. I want you to feel good,” she said softly.
And I came, pulsing into Bella.
My head fell against her shoulder, my breath broken and ragged. Bella held onto me tightly.
I lifted Bella up, my semi-hard cock still inside of her, and carried her into my bedroom. We
collapsed onto my bed together.
I slipped out of Bella and unzipped her dress, pulling it up and over her head. She toed her shoes
off, as I pulled her on top of me. She leaned her head against my chest. I had noticed she seemed

to like to listen to my heart beat.
I wasn’t even close to being done with Bella for the night though.
I ran my fingers down her back, over her ass, and slid a finger into her still extremely wet pussy.
That elicited a quick intake of breath from Bella.

I was fairly certain Bella hadn’t come during our piano-sex session, so I wanted nothing more than
to remedy that situation.
With my arm draped across her ass, I slid my fingers along her slick folds. Bella reached back and
pushed my index and middle finger back into her. I leveraged her up a little higher so she was more

or less straddling my chest and leaning forward with her head against my shoulder. That position
gave her the ability to penetrate herself using a backwards motion onto my fingers. It was awkward

as hell, but erotic as fuck.
My cock certainly agreed. It was rock-fucking-hard once again.
Bella glanced down at my cock as she pushed herself back harder onto my fingers … again … and
again … and again. Little moans escaped her mouth each time she fucking jammed her pussy onto

my fingers. My cock was fucking engorged.
Suddenly, she moved off of my fingers and onto my cock in one fluid movement, catching me by

surprise for a brief moment. I moaned out in pleasure at the sudden warmth that surrounded my
cock.
I placed my hands on her hips and lifted her up, until she whimpered in protest. I chuckled and
slammed her back down onto my cock. Bella then leaned forward some and started fucking my

cock, fast and hard.
Holy Fuck, Bella really fucking liked it fast and hard.
Her breathing quickened. I closed my eyes, caressed her ass and let her fucking ride me while her
tits grazed against my chest.
She pressed her lips against my neck and cried out, “Fuck. Oh, Edward.”
I could feel her walls clench and contract. I knew she was coming and that made me come with

her.
We held each other for I don’t fucking know how long. I drifted in and out of contented sleep.
We woke up together at various points throughout the early part of the night, and we either kissed

or fucked some more, usually both.
Eventually, we collapsed from exhaustion, and I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.
The morning light was softly filtering into my bedroom, when I heard the muffled sound of a cell
phone ringing. But it didn’t sound like either mine or Bella’s.
Groggily, I looked at the clock on my nightstand and saw it was after ten o’clock in the morning.
Bella was still sleeping in my arms. She must have felt me stirring, because she opened her eyes

and looked at me, eyes half-closed and still partially asleep. It was actually really fucking cute.
“Hey, sleepy-head, are you hungry at all?” I asked.
She shook her head, burying it back into the pillow. “Ughhhh, what time is it anyway?”
I chuckled and ran my fingers through my yes-I-have-been-freshly-fucked hair. Yeah – I knew what

girls called it behind my back. This was my own variation.
I was definitely in an extremely good mood this morning.
Just then I heard that strange cell phone ringing again.
Before I could say anything, Bella quickly wrapped the sheet around her and ran to her overnight

bag. Which was bizarre because I knew her cell was in her purse, still downstairs. Maybe I was
wrong? Maybe it was up here. But that didn’t explain the unfamiliar ringtone. What the fuck?
But, sure as shit, I watched as Bella pulled an unfamiliar sleek, black cell phone out of her bag.
I was sure I had never seen that phone before.
It stopped ringing. She appeared to be scanning through the missed calls and voicemail alerts. She
didn’t call anybody back though; she just threw it back into her bag with no explanation.
“Edward, I have to go back home now,” she said urgently, her voice tinged with sadness.
I got up and went over to her. “What’s going on?” I asked, genuinely perplexed.
She wrapped her arms around me and held onto me, like she really fucking needed me. I was
fucking confused.
I found myself questioning who the fuck would be calling Bella on some kind of a secret phone I’d
never seen before. But I was confident that she really did love and need me. I wanted to be fucking

man enough to wait for her to tell me her secrets.
I knew she would eventually come clean.
“Let’s get showered, and I’ll take you back, okay?” I said. She nodded into my shoulder.
We took our showers, separately. I was kind of disappointed, since I really wanted to fuck Bella in

my shower. But, I wasn’t that much of a prick to suggest it.
I could tell she was distracted and concerned about something. I really wanted to know who the

fuck had been calling her, if only so I could kick their ass for making Bella look so worried.
We drove back to Bella’s house, saying very little.
She was now wearing a long-sleeved navy pullover, jeans, her favorite sneakers, and her black
leather jacket. I smiled to myself. She was definitely back to being comfortable-Bella. I had little

room to talk though, seeing that I was wearing similar attire – jeans, hiking boots, a grey thermal

pullover shirt, and my own black leather jacket.
I pulled onto her road and approached her house.
“Oh. Fuck,” Bella muttered under her breath.
What the fuck?
Parked in Bella’s driveway, blocking her Cayenne, was a fucking sweet-ass red Mercedes-Benz SLS

AMG Gullwing.
Wow! I had only seen pictures of those cars, but I knew one cost around two hundred and fifty-

thousand dollars. My Range Rover and her Cayenne were really fucking nice, but this car was in a
whole other league.
Who the fuck did Bella know that owned a car like that?
As we parked in front of her house, I asked her, “Who do you know who has a car that fucking

nice?”
“Me, it’s mine,” she answered quietly.
I looked at her with utter astonishment. “Huh?”
At that moment, a man of maybe about forty-years of age or so stepped out of the Gullwing. He

was dressed immaculately in an obviously finely-tailored black suit. His long black hair was slicked
back, and I noted his pale complexion, angular features, and piercing eyes. Piercing, even from afar.
There was something about the way he carried himself. I hated to admit it to myself, but he fucking
intimidated me a little. And I never fucking felt intimidated by anyone … ever.
“Bella, who is that man?” I asked, not really sure if I wanted to hear the answer. I had a sneaking
suspicion he had something to do with the secret cell phone and the early morning calls.
She sighed in resignation. “Edward, that’s my dad, Aro.”

Chapter 11: Storm In the Morning Light

BPOV
November 13, Saturday:
What the fuck was Aro doing here in Forks … in my driveway … with my car? Good God.
I had last spoken with him the day after Halloween, bringing him up to speed on what had

transpired in the meadow with Edward.
Obviously, not the intimate details. Just the facts surrounding the night of the bonfire party … and

Jacob’s death. I confirmed what we all had come to suspect within The Project, anyway - James
was, in fact, the one who killed Jacob.
Edward had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I had asked Aro if it would be okay if I stayed in Forks for a while longer, at least long enough to

finish my junior year at Hale. He agreed to it, as long as I remained aware that I could still be called
away for ‘business trips’ – his preferred euphemism for agency missions.
As my dad walked toward us, it wasn’t that I was unhappy to see him, I just knew him well enough
to know he wasn’t here on a social call. He was here on business.
It was Aro who had been trying to reach me throughout the morning on my ‘work’ cell phone. He

hadn’t left any messages. Those two facts alone were enough to alert me to the fact that there was

something important going on. That was why I had felt the need to return to my house.
But I certainly hadn’t expected to see Aro in my driveway.
I was especially irritated that now Edward knew the Mercedes belonged to me. I didn’t want to lie
to him again, especially after last night. I was already still keeping too many secrets from him. That

was why I had admitted it was mine.
Except, now, I was going to have to lie regardless in order to explain how I, a college student, could

afford to own both a Cayenne and a fucking $250,000 car.
I would have to go with the old trust fund explanation. It wouldn’t be a total lie, because I did

possess a rather substantial trust fund, thanks to Aro and Jane. But I had bought the Gullwing with
my own earnings from my work as an agent.

That was the part that would have to stay a secret for now.
I promised Edward I would tell him everything, and I planned on keeping that promise … someday.
Aro reached us just as Edward and I were stepping out of his Range Rover.
“Bella, darling … I had some business to attend to in Seattle, and I thought it might be nice to drive

here to lovely Forks to see how my dear daughter has been doing,” Aro said smoothly in full ‘Dad’
mode. For Edward’s benefit, not mine.
Aro was aware of my feelings towards Edward. Maybe not in full detail, but it was very difficult to
keep much from Aro. He just knew certain things – kind of like Alice. I think he had actually been

almost as relieved as I to find out Edward had no involvement with James’ death.
He knew how conflicted I had been, and I was certain he preferred his daughter not become an

assassin, like himself.
Aro turned to face Edward. “And this must be Mr. Cullen. How wonderful to finally meet you,” he

said, and then quickly added, “Bella has told me so very much about you.”
Aro, as smooth as ever. What an accomplished liar he could be. Was I just as bad?
They shook hands, and Edward cleared his throat and responded, “It’s very nice to meet you as
well, Mr. Swan.”
I cringed.
I had been trying to be as forthcoming with Edward as I could be, at this point in time. But I had

forgotten to tell him my last name was different from that of my adoptive parents.
Aro appeared to be unfazed, but was quick to correct Edward’s unintentional mistake. “Ahhh …

Edward, I am Mr. Volturi – not Mr. Swan. My wife and I allowed Bella to keep the last name of her
biological parents. We wanted her to have something to remember them by, after all,” Aro said

pensively.
I was careful not to roll my eyes, lest Edward notice.
That was not the reason why I had been permitted to keep my last name. It had been a directive
from The Project. Even when I was only five-years old, the agency was busy making decisions for

me. The agency surmised it would be less of a threat to my safety if my last name was not Volturi,
since Aro was such a powerful figure within The Project. Not that they cared about me personally.

The Project had been preparing, even then, for the time when I would eventually join their ranks.
They were merely protecting their investment for the future.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Volturi,” Edward said, obviously embarrassed, as he shot me an annoyed look. “Bella

must have forgotten to mention that little fact to me.”
Aro laughed dismissively and clasped his hands together. “Apology accepted, Edward. And I’m sure

Bella did not intend to mislead you.” Oh, the irony of such a statement.
An uncomfortable silence fell between the three of us, until Edward spoke. “Well, I should

probably leave you two alone and head over to the library. I have some studying to do today. It was
very nice to meet you, Mr. Volturi.”
I didn’t recall Edward having brought along any books or notes, so I surmised this was his way to
make a polite exit. I couldn’t blame him.
“Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Cullen,” Aro responded.
Edward glanced over at me, cheeks reddening. I was pretty sure he wanted to at least kiss me

good-bye, especially after the night we had just spent together.
But Aro made no move to give us any privacy.
Now it was my turn to clear my throat, “Um, okay, I’ll call you later, Edward.”
I also hated to say good-bye this way, but my damn dad was standing right there.
Edward looked at me apologetically and turned to walk back toward his vehicle. Before he had
taken no more than two steps away from us, Aro addressed him again.
“Edward, before you leave us, my wife wanted me to ask you what your plans are for the
Thanksgiving holiday. After all, it is less than two weeks away.”
Edward turned back to face us again. “Um, I really didn’t have any definite plans. I was thinking of
asking your daughter if she wanted to have dinner with me that day.” He was?
“Perfect. Then you should fly down to Los Angeles with Bella and spend Thanksgiving with us. Bella
was planning on coming down alone. But since you both seem to be hitting it off so splendidly, I’m

sure my wife would be elated if you do indeed accept our invitation,” Aro stated in his most
persuasive tone.
What? I had made no plans to go to LA for Thanksgiving.
Oh – this was going to be awkward.
Edward ran his fingers through his hair. “Well, sir, it’s up to Bella. If it’s okay with her, I’d be
honored to spend Thanksgiving with your family,” Edward said politely as his eyes met mine for

confirmation.
“Yeah, sure,” I said less than enthusiastically, managing a half-hearted smile.
My dad appeared to be quite pleased with himself as his gaze traveled from me to Edward. Pleased
that, as usual, he had gotten his way.
“Excellent! I will leave the plane tickets with Bella before I depart later today.”
Presumptive, much?
“Thank you, sir,” Edward said, sounding genuinely appreciative.
Aro’s generosity must have emboldened Edward, because this time he pulled me into a loose hug

and kissed the top of my head. “See you soon, Bella,” he whispered into my hair.
“Nice meeting you again, Mr. Volturi,” Edward stated as he and my dad shook hands again.
After Edward was out of sight, I narrowed my eyes at my dad. “What exactly is going on? First of

all, why are you even here? Second, I did not have plans to go to LA for Thanksgiving. So what was

that all about? And lastly, why did you drive my car here? I thought you wanted me to keep a low-
profile?” I said exasperatedly, before finally taking a breath.
Aro put his arm around my shoulders and led me up the front steps. “My dear Bella, so many
questions,” Aro said chuckling, obviously finding the morning events to be quite amusing. He then

unlocked the door. Of course, he would have a key as well.
After I made us some coffee, we sat together at my kitchen table. A light rain began to fall outside.

I was still waiting for my answers, so I looked at him poignantly.
Aro exhaled loudly and began, “Bella, I will answer the easiest question first. My reason for driving

your car up here was not meant to provoke trouble between you and Edward. The answer is
innocuous enough. The Gullwing has been sitting in your garage back in Malibu … untouched. As

you know, that type of a car needs to be driven periodically. I decided to take it for a spin, so to
speak.”
Well, that was believable enough. My father was quite the car enthusiast. He had probably been
itching to drive my car for quite some time now, particularly on the open highway.
“That’s fine, Dad. But now, I have to lie to Edward again and tell him I bought it with my trust fund
money,” I replied, aggravation evident in my tone.
Aro shook his hand disapprovingly. “Bella, Bella. Why did you tell him it was yours? You could have
just said it was mine.”
My temper flared at his disparaging tone and my own frustration. “I am not going to keep piling on
secrets to the ones I already must keep from Edward,” I stated vehemently, and then added, “And

why did you invite him to Thanksgiving? You still haven’t answered that question.”
Aro remained calm, as always.
“Bella, you obviously have strong feelings for him. Your mother would like to meet him. Besides,
we want for all of us to spend the holiday together – as a family. You are still our daughter,” my dad

said quietly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so upset with you. It’s just hard sometimes to not think there’s an

ulterior motive for everything, with our line of work and all,” I said, genuinely feeling bad for
jumping to conclusions.
Aro put his hand on my shoulder. “I can assure you there is no ulterior motive in wanting you and
Edward to join us for Thanksgiving. But there is something else I need to talk to you about…” His

voice faltered, and my stomach twisted in panic.
“W-w-what’s going on, Dad?” I stammered, suddenly feeling a wave of uneasiness.
I knew last night had been too perfect. Last night was a glimpse of what I wished my life could be –
but never would be. Last night had been the calm before the storm.
Aro’s next words confirmed it.
“Bella, we may have another problem up here,” he said as he took a deep breath and continued,

“James had a … partner.”
I was confused by Aro’s words. Nobody had ever filled me in as to why Jacob had been sent here to

begin with, and I had known better than to bother asking. Asking would have been futile.
That was just the way of The Project. Details that weren’t absolutely necessary for you to complete

your mission were purposely not divulged.

Aro sat quietly for a few minutes, as if in thought about how much to disclose to me. He finally

spoke in a measured tone of voice, “Bella, James was a rogue agent. He was once an agent within
The Project. He was very adept at tracking people. That had been his specialty within the agency.

Then, he and another agent broke ranks. They felt they could make even more money by hiring
themselves out to the highest bidder. Much like bounty hunters.”
“So, James was essentially tracking down people for God-knows-who, while he himself was on the
run from our agency?” I asked.
“Exactly. After he first defected, it took us over a month to locate him here in Washington state. He
was such a good tracker; he knew how to cover his own tracks quite thoroughly. Of course, we

caught up to him eventually,” Aro said soberly.
The time had finally come to ask the question I had wanted an answer to for over two months.

Unsure as to whether Aro would tell me or not, I lowered my voice and stared at my folded hands
resting on the surface of the kitchen table. “Why was Jake sent here? Was his mission to kill

James?” Images of the Glock in Jacob’s weekend bag flashed in my head.
To my utter surprise, Aro answered my question -- in detail.
“Jacob was to kill James only if it became absolutely necessary. Jacob’s mission was to gather some
preliminary information for The Project. The agency was curious as to who exactly was employing

James and his associate. Jacob was already acquainted with James from about a year ago, when
they had worked together on a mission. Jacob’s directive was to make James think he was also

dissatisfied with The Project and wanted in on ‘getting out,’ so to speak.” Aro paused as the rain
outside began to pour intensely.
He had to raise his voice to be heard over the noise. “Jacob made contact with James immediately
upon his arrival here and tried to gain James’ trust by ‘warning’ him that we knew James’

whereabouts.” My dad now stared out the window as the hard rain continued to pelt against the
glass. "The mission was going quite well, initially. But James must have caught on to Jacob’s

deception,” he finished solemnly, turning to face me.
“Who is the other agent?” I asked as I began to put the pieces together.
Obviously, the other problem was that the other rogue agent must’ve resurfaced here. But, why
here?
“Her name is Victoria. She is not nearly as good of a tracker as James was, but she is very elusive
and moves from place to place very quickly. We do know she left the country for a while after

James was … disposed of in Denver,” Aro explained, emotionless.
I cringed as I remembered what Jane had once said about how a person changed after becoming

an assassin, and not for the better. Despite our unconventional father-daughter relationship, I still
loved my dad.
It pained me to hear him speak so impassively about having killed James. Not because I felt any
pity for James. I was glad that fucking murderer was dead.

But I hated that my dad had lost a part of himself. I never wanted to become like that.
Even if I had not fallen in love with Edward, I was still thankful I hadn’t had to cross that line. I

hoped that the higher powers-that-be at The Project would never ask me to complete another
mission as a potential assassin.
How could I ever expect Edward to love me if I became a killer?
I shook my head to clear my disturbing thoughts. But those thoughts were just replaced by even

more disturbing thoughts. I sighed, suddenly feeling a heavy weight descend upon my shoulders.
“Why would she come back when she knows you’ll find her? And why Washington? It doesn’t
make any sense.”
Not one to mince words, my dad answered, “Bella, she wants revenge. She and James were not
only fellow agents, they were lovers as well. She wants to avenge his death.”
I thought about Aro’s words for a moment. If she wanted revenge, why hadn’t she gone to LA?
That’s where my dad lived.

Suddenly, I understood. She was here for me.
She planned to get her revenge on Aro by killing someone he loved. It would be far too dangerous
for her to try to kill my mom. But I was an easy target, here in Forks, unaware of her intentions.

Until now.
“Where is she now?’ I whispered, knowing now what Aro’s ‘business’ had been in Seattle. He was

trying to find Victoria, before she found me.
“She was only here for a few days, Bella. I was close, I almost had her. But she got away. We’re not

sure where she is yet. She’s on the run again, for now.”
“She’ll come back looking for me, right? And it won’t matter where I go. She will keep trying until

she does find me, won’t she?” I asked, even though I knew all the answers to those questions.
Of course she would return to look for me.
I thought about Edward immediately. His safety was paramount in my mind, although I knew he
wasn’t the target. Victoria would gain nothing by harming him. It was me she was after so she

could avenge James’ death. Nonetheless, I made a vow to start carrying my Glock with me at all
times -- not only for my own protection, but for Edward’s as well.
My life always seemed to be filled with irony, and this was no exception. I would now be protecting
Edward with the very same gun I had only weeks ago considered using to harm him. I was starting

to get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach again.
“Bella, are you okay? You’re awfully pale. Do you feel ill?” Aro asked, looking uncharacteristically

worried.
“No. I’ll be okay. It’s just a lot to process, you know?” I said as I tried to collect myself.
Then Aro did something he very rarely did. He leaned over and gave me a hug. A single tear
escaped and rolled down my cheek.
As we silently leaned back into our respective chairs, I wiped at my cheek.
Aro spoke softly, “Don’t worry, Bella. I’ll never allow her to harm you.” Then he added in an icy

tone, “I will kill her first.”
“I’m still going to start carrying my gun again,” I said.
“Absolutely,” Aro agreed.
We spent the remainder of the afternoon discussing lighter subjects – how I liked Hale, how well I

was doing in my classes, more about Edward, and finally, the particulars of the upcoming trip to
Los Angeles for Thanksgiving.
Aro gave me the two round-trip airline tickets before he left. He assured me he would keep me
posted if anything came up about Victoria’s whereabouts. I trusted my dad implicitly, but I knew he

wasn’t infallible. I couldn’t help but worry about Victoria’s next move.
I paced restlessly around the house.
I put my Glock back in my purse. It hadn’t been in there since Halloween night.
Thinking about that night reminded me of all the secrets I was keeping from the man I loved.
I loved Edward with every fiber of my being. Despite my mixed emotions about becoming an

assassin, I knew with complete certainty I would kill to protect Edward.
I would even sacrifice myself in order to keep Edward safe and alive.
I thought about how Edward had professed his love to me last night. I didn’t doubt he was in love
with me. I had seen it in his eyes Halloween night when he had looked into mine.
But would he still love me if he knew all of my secrets?
For every secret I divulged, another one seemed to take its place. It was the life I was leading.

There was no escaping the life associated with being a part of The Project.
Realization dawned on me.
It wasn’t the fact that Victoria was after me that was making me feel sick and restless. Between
Aro and myself, I was fairly certain I wouldn’t end up dead.
I feared I’d end up something worse than being dead.
I feared I would end up being alone.
Panic gripped me.
It was starting to get dark out, and I knew Edward was probably waiting for me to call him. I picked

up my cell, but instead of calling him, I threw it into my purse. I didn’t want to talk on the phone
with Edward. I wanted to see him as soon as possible.
I was consumed with the need to be close to him.
I couldn’t sit in the house by myself for another minute. I couldn’t be … alone.

***********************************

Edward answered his front door, and I threw myself into his arms, dropping my open purse onto

the floor of his entry hall.
For the second time in one day, I was asked if I was ‘okay.’ I wanted to scream out that I wasn’t

okay. I was far from it.
Instead, my mouth greedily fell upon Edward’s. He tried to kiss me slowly at first, but I pushed his

mouth open and my tongue found his.
I was much too frantic for slow. Our rapid breaths soon became pants, as our deep kisses became

more urgent. Edward pushed my mouth open even further. I complied. His hands were tangled in
my hair. Mine were in his as well. I gripped his hair and tugged on it sharply, making him groan into

my mouth.
He picked me up and carried me up the stairs to his bed, kissing me deeply along the way to his

bedroom.
We finally broke apart as he pushed me roughly onto his bed.
I pulled desperately at the thermal shirt he was wearing. He started to undo my jeans. I couldn’t
get his, or my own, clothes off fast enough.

I needed Edward – now.
I couldn’t be alone. I needed this feeling of emptiness to go away.
Finally, after much frantic pulling, tugging, and peeling, our clothes were finally off of our bodies

and strewn along the floor.
Edward was lying on his back now, and I straddled him. I rubbed my wetness back and forth along

his hardness.
I couldn’t wait any longer.
He moaned loudly as I pushed myself down on his engorged cock.
Edward’s hands were on my breasts, thumbs grazing my nipples lightly.I leaned forward as he

leaned up to cup my left breast, and then flicked my erect nipple with his warm tongue.
My breathing quickened as I began to fuck Edward harder. He released my breast as his breathing

progressed to something closer to panting. I heard him mumble a number of expletives.
I was so caught up in my own pleasure; the only one I heard for sure was, “Jesus fucking Christ.

Bella … fuck.”
And, I only caught that one because he said it a number of times.
I felt Edward’s fingers circling my engorged clit, not that I really needed the additional stimulation. I
was about to come just from fucking Edward’s huge, engorged cock.
Edward placed his unoccupied hand on my right hip and slowed my pace some.
I knew what he wanted – the same thing I wanted.
I pulled his other hand away from my clit and onto my other hip. His fingers, coated with my
wetness, grasped onto my left hip.
He lifted my hips up slightly, and then slammed me down onto him with so much force … I came.
He stilled, and I rocked on his cock as I rode out my orgasm.
“Is this what you want, Bella?” he said in a husky, low voice as he thrust his cock upwards and
deeper into me.
I answered by whimpering in ecstasy. Edward continued alternating thrusting into me, with my
hips lifted slightly up, with slamming me down forcefully onto his cock. His cock felt like it was

made of stone. My walls tightened around him as I focused solely on the sensations.
I screamed out something like, “God. Edward. Fuck,” as I came again, and again.
Before my third orgasm subsided, Edward flipped me onto my back and continued to fuck me, fast
and hard.
He lifted my legs up and rested them on his shoulders. He plunged even deeper into me, digging
his fingers into my hips.
In my post-multiple orgasm bliss, my mind was now thankfully euphoric and blank. Edward leaned
down and pressed his lips to mine. His breath was ragged, as he fucked me hard until he came.

I felt his cock pulse within me.
He groaned against my lips.
I breathed in Edward’s warm breaths as he breathed in mine. With his hard chest pressed against

mine, our hearts beat together.

“I love you, Bella,” he whispered against my lips.
“Edward, I love you, too,” I whispered in return as I slipped my fingers into his hair.
In that moment, with Edward still inside of me … still on top of me … breathing in each other’s

breaths … our hearts beating together … I finally didn’t feel alone.
Even though we tried not to move much, Edward eventually slipped out of me, and we both smiled

against each other’s mouths.
Edward fell back against the mattress, and I snuggled up against his chest. I ran my fingers through

his smattering of coppery-colored chest hair while he lightly twirled my hair around his hand.
Edward seemed to be deep in thought.
I had no desire to think of anything of consequence, so I mainly replayed our recent activities over
and over in my mind.
One thing for certain – sex with Edward was incredibly intense and mind-blowing.
“So, how was the rest of the day with your dad?” Edward asked quietly, breaking me out of my

mindless euphoria.
I tensed slightly. “Um, it was fine,” I said weakly.
Edward must have sensed something was amiss, because he reached over and turned on the lamp
that was on the nightstand adjacent to his bed. I hid my face against his chest until my eyes

adjusted to the light, even though it was not particularly bright.
“Hmmm … fine, huh? You seemed a little less than fine when you first got here. Not that I’m

complaining or anything,” he said as he lifted my chin so that my eyes met his.
I held his questioning gaze. The guilt at not being able to tell Edward everything was returning, so I

allowed myself to get lost in the depths of his emerald-green eyes to calm myself before
answering.
“It was just a little tense, Edward, with the whole Thanksgiving thing. That was all news to me.
And, then there was some … family stuff,” I answered, choosing my words carefully.
Edward didn’t press for information regarding the ‘family stuff,’ but he did finally ask me about the
car. “Bella, what’s the story with that car? Is it really yours?” he questioned, his voice incredulous.
I leaned my head back down against his chest before answering, “Yeah, it really is.”
Before he could even ask, I answered what I was sure would be his next question, “I bought it with

money from my trust fund.”
“Wow – you must have a fucking huge trust fund,” he scoffed.
“Your reaction is exactly why I left that car in California, Edward,” I said, slightly miffed.
I actually was a little annoyed with his response. I was sensitive about the fact that I even had a

trust fund, and it was ‘fucking huge.’ But I had to remind myself to let his comment go.
If he knew how much of my own money I earned as an agent – in addition to my trust fund – he’d

really be fucking stunned.
“I’m sorry, Bella,” he said as he kissed the top of my head. I kissed his chest in return so he would

know I wasn’t really mad.
“So, what should I expect when we get to California? A fucking mansion?” he teased.
I reminded myself that, in this situation, honesty was the best policy. “First of all, your house is a

mansion itself,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But, I guess you could say my parents' house is a little

bigger.”
“How much bigger, Bella?” Edward sounded wary.
"Okay, it’s a lot bigger. But my house is closer to the size of this house,” I added quickly, cringing as
I waited for his reaction to this new piece of information.
I had neglected to inform him that I owned my own house... in Malibu.
Since he was going to be seeing everything in less than two weeks time anyway, I reasoned it was

best to get it out in the open now.
Edward pushed me onto my back and hovered over me, so I had to look him in the eyes. “Bella,

you never said you owned a fucking house of your own down there. Let alone one in Malibu.”
I sighed. “Edward, I bought it with more of the trust fund money. It’s really close and convenient to

Pepperdine….” My voice trailed off as I gave up on my own lame attempt at an excuse of some
sort.
He leaned back against the pillows and pulled me close to him again. Neither of us said anything
for a few minutes. I gave Edward time to process my revelations. Most everything was true, except

for how I had paid for everything.
He started to play with my hair again, so I assumed he must have accepted my explanations.
“Fuck, Bella, how much fucking money does your family have? I thought my family was fairly well-
off, but holy shit.”
“I guess we have a lot, Edward. Like maybe more than a lot,” I admitted.
Better to prepare him now, before he saw it all anyway. I silently cursed my dad for inadvertently

bringing all of this on – on top of everything else – today.
“Can we not talk about it anymore, though,” I pleaded softly.

Edward hugged me tight. “Of course we don’t have to talk about it at all. Do you want to get some

sleep?” he whispered as he pressed his lips lightly to my forehead.
I really was quite tired. Not to mention, I was extremely surprised Edward was being so talkative

after sex. He must have been anxiously waiting all day to get some explanations after the events of
this morning.
“Yeah, but let me brush my teeth first. And, can I borrow one of your t-shirts?” I asked.
“Absolutely … here,” Edward said as he got up and handed me a t-shirt he grabbed out of one of

his dresser drawers. I slipped it on and went into Edward’s adjoining bathroom. I had left a few
essentials here from last night, at Edward’s insistence.
As I was brushing my teeth, Edward yelled through the door, “I’m going downstairs to lock up and
turn on the security system. Do you need anything?”
I quickly rinsed out my mouth and yelled back, “If you could just bring my purse up here, that’d be
great.”
“No problem,” he answered happily as I heard him walk away from the bathroom door.
I washed my face and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Edward had given me a grey t-shirt to

wear. There was some extremely-faded red writing on the front, and it looked like it had once read:
Forks Football. The letters were there, but barely visible. It was way too big on me, and fell to

about mid-thigh length. There was something oddly comforting about wearing Edward’s shirt. It

didn’t really smell like him, but it did smell like his other freshly-laundered clothes, thus still

reminding me of him. I smiled as I lifted the cloth of the shirt to my nose and breathed in deeply.
Edward.
I heard some movement in the bedroom, so I knew Edward was back upstairs.
I felt so much better than I had earlier. Maybe Thanksgiving wouldn’t be so bad after all. Now,

Edward wouldn’t be too surprised when he saw the houses and cars we all owned. And, he could
just stay with me at my house in Malibu. He seemed to have taken it all in without questioning too

much. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Opening the bathroom door, I saw Edward seated on the edge of his bed in only his boxer briefs,

his bare, chiseled back facing me. I bounded over to the bed, crawled across the king-sized surface
and pressed myself into the warmth of his back. I wrapped my arms around him, put my chin on

his shoulder … and froze.
He was holding my open purse in his lap. My eyes were drawn to what was clearly visible. I

dropped my arms from around Edward and scooted back slightly. Fuck.
He turned towards me, anger and confusion flashing in his eyes.
“Bella, would you care to tell me why there is a fucking gun … in your purse?”

Chapter 12: Bulletproof

EPOV
November 13: Saturday: (continued…)
I sat on the edge of my bed and looked down into Bella’s open purse, mainly because I was curious
as to why it was so fucking heavy for such a small bag. What I saw left me stunned.
What the fuck?
Why the fuck would Bella be toting around a gun in her purse?
And, a fucking Glock 22, no less.
I was no expert on guns, but, being a guy and all, I was aware of things like makes, models, and

specs. I also knew the Glock 22 was a pretty substantial, and powerful, handgun for someone as
tiny as Bella to be lugging around. Even if it was for something like personal protection, I would

have expected her to be carrying something more like a 9mm -- not a .40 caliber weapon.
There was also something uncomfortably familiar about the gun. It looked remarkably similar to

the one I had thrown into the woods that morning. The one I later found out had belonged to
Jacob.
I thought about the night Bella and I had talked in the meadow, on Halloween.
Come to think of it, she never really appeared to be surprised to hear that Jacob had been carrying

a gun. A gun that later ended up being turned on him … and me.
Fucking James.
Why would Jacob and Bella both be carrying the same fucking types of guns?
That was just too much of a fucking coincidence.
I heard Bella come up behind me and felt her arms wrap around me. She put her chin on my
shoulder and tensed immediately.

Yep – she saw what I was looking at in her open purse.
She scooted back away from me, and I turned to face her, none too pleased at what I had found.
“Bella, would you care to tell me why there is a fucking gun … in your purse?” I asked icily.
I was sure my expression betrayed all the confusion and anger I was feeling.
Bella quickly cast her eyes down, and away, from my heated gaze.
Bella answered sheepishly, in the form of a question, “Um … personal protection?”
I gave her a look of disdain. “Yeah, right.”
Bella continued to stare at the edge of my sheet, picking nervously at a loose thread.
In addition to feeling angry and confused by the whole situation, now I was feeling jealous about a

dead guy, again. So it was fucking a-okay to share her gun-toting secrets with Jacob, a guy she
claimed to have loved only as a friend. Even though she had fucked him on a regular basis.
But, now she was acting like she was reluctant to give me an honest explanation. Rage boiled
beneath my surface as my own insecurities made me question the level of Bella’s trust in me.
“Quit with the fucking bullshit, Bella. I want some fucking answers,” I said harshly.
I had been willing to give her as much time as she needed to come clean with me about her

secrets. But after finding the fucking gun, I needed an explanation now.
An uncomfortable silence fell between us, until she finally spoke, still looking down and rolling the

loose thread between her fingers.
“Edward, it’s complicated….” Her voice trailed off.
“Are you a cop or something? Was he a cop -- Jacob?” I asked.
She seemed to bristle at the mention of his name. Her shoulders tensed, and she started to pull on

the loose thread, unraveling it further.
“No. Not exactly,” she said in a barely-audible voice.
Images of her Gullwing, the Cayenne, and her telling me about her more-than-fucking-substantial
trust fund ran through my head.
Holy Fuck – was Bella and her family involved in something illegal? Had Jacob been as well? I knew
James had been involved in something unsavory. Fuck.
“Bella, please tell me you’re not involved with something like the fucking Mafia,” I said, honestly
hoping it wasn’t anything like that. I swallowed hard.
I was slightly taken aback when Bella stifled a laugh. She finally lifted her head and her eyes met
mine. Bella looked like maybe she was debating with herself about something. Her eyes betrayed a

mix of emotions, and I wished, in that moment, that I had the ability to read her mind.
“It’s nothing like that, Edward.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as I raked my fingers through my hair.
She took a deep breath and continued, “I’m not a cop. None of us are. But my family and I are

involved in … a kind of branch of law enforcement. Jake was as well.” Bella looked pained as she
continued to speak. “I can’t tell you all the specifics, though.”
“Why the fuck not?” I questioned, thoroughly irritated with her continuing evasiveness.
She started to put her head down again as a flash of what I perceived to be guilt crossed her face,

but I reached over and lifted her chin back up, thus giving her no choice but to look at me when

she answered. She may have been the one carrying a gun, but I was clearly in control of this
conversation. I could see the internal struggle in her eyes, but she held my gaze.
“I can’t tell you, Edward. But, if you were to guess…” Her voice trailed to a mere whisper.
My thoughts ran through a myriad of possibilities. “CIA? FBI? NSA?” I rattled off in quick

succession.
Bella shook her head. “Not exactly.” Her eyes suddenly lit up as she quickly got up off of my bed.
I watched her with curiosity as she kneeled down near my TV and started rummaging through my
DVD collection. We had watched a few of my DVD’s in the past, but I couldn’t imagine which one

she was looking for -- or why.
I tried to remember some of the ones we had watched together, but couldn’t think of a single one

that would shed any light on what I had just asked her.
I had always let her pick out what we watched, so I knew she must have known what she was

looking for as she continued to go through the movies.
She suddenly pulled one out and climbed back up onto the bed. “Here.” She handed me a DVD.
I looked at the title: The Bourne Identity.
I stared at the cover of the movie I had watched at least a dozen times, but never with Bella. I felt

Bella’s eyes upon me. I lifted my eyes to meet hers. Her eyes searched mine, as if she was waiting
for me to put two and two together.
I must have been holding my breath without realizing it, because I exhaled loudly as understanding
dawned on me.
“Holy. Fuck. Bella. Are you a fucking secret agent or some shit?” I asked incredulously, still grasping
the DVD tightly.
My mind was reeling.
When Bella had said she had fucking secrets, she sure as fuck wasn’t kidding around. I was trying

to wrap my mind around the idea of Bella as some sort of secret agent -- like Jason-fucking-Bourne,
but in a hot-as-fuck female version.
Jacob must have been an agent as well.
Now I understood why I had felt so intimidated by her dad this morning. He was obviously one as

well. Wow. Just fucking wow.
Bella licked her lips, and I found that to be oddly sexier than ever.
“It’s not really like the movie though, Edward,” she said, motioning to the DVD still in my hands.
“It’s different. We’re not directly affiliated with any of those other agencies, but we do work with

them sometimes. We are assigned to various … um … missions.”
Things were starting to fall into place and make sense.
“I always wondered why you would have come to Forks all alone to find out what happened to
Jacob. You knew he was dead all along, didn’t you? You were just trying to find out how it

happened. That had been your ‘mission,’ right?” I asked, already sensing what her answer would
be.
More indiscernible emotions flickered in her eyes. Her eyes darted away from mine for a few
seconds, before returning to meet mine again. “Yes,” she said softly and simply.

“Did they send you?” I asked.
I still didn’t know who they were, and I was getting the distinct impression she wasn’t going to tell
me specifically. I kind of didn’t even want to fucking know. As it was, I was sure she was probably

telling me more than she should.
Again, her eyes returned to the loose thread on my sheet, though she didn’t mess with it this time.

“Um, yeah, they wanted me to find out what happened. But, I needed to know as well.” She
glanced up at me tentatively.
I processed everything she said. I knew I shouldn’t ask, but my curiosity got the best of me.
I lowered my voice to an almost-whisper. “So, what happened to James?”
Bella’s eyes faltered. “Edward, I can’t tell you that.”
She didn’t need to say anything more. I knew she couldn’t tell me, because he had surely been

killed.
Fuck – I wondered if her dad was the one to do it. He certainly looked like what I envisioned an

assassin to look like. He had that cold, hard look in his eyes. For as much as I fucking hated James, I
kind of felt a little ill imaging him being gunned down in cold blood – or however the hell he had

been killed.
Sure, I had wanted to smash James’ fucking face in. But, to actually murder the man? For all the

violent tendencies I had in me, I didn’t think murder was among them.
An extremely disturbing thought came to my mind as I remembered what was in Bella’s purse.

Fuck.
I braced myself to ask Bella the most difficult question I had ever asked anyone. “Bella, have you….

Have you ever kill---” I couldn’t even say the words.
Bella looked at me, her eyes widening with surprise … and … guilt?
She hesitated before answering my question. “No. I’ve never killed anyone.” A single tear fell down
her cheek as she continued, “And I don’t want to ever have to, Edward. I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry….”

Bella began to sob.
I pulled her into my lap and held her as she cried against my shoulder. Her warm tears fell upon my

bare skin. I kissed the top of her head, and she tightened her arms around me.
“It’s okay, baby. You won’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to. I promise,” I assured her.
I was quite certain I would have no say in what Bella would ever have to do, or not do, for
whatever-the-fuck agency she worked for. But she just needed to be comforted, so I would

promise her anything to make her feel better. Hell, I wanted to tell her that if they ever asked her
to do something like that, I’d do it for her. As much as I was opposed to it, I’d kill for Bella. I’d do

anything, absolutely any-fucking-thing, for Bella.
Bella pulled away from me just enough so she could look at my face. “Do you still love me,

Edward?”
She sounded so broken. A part of me sensed there was more to her motivation for asking me that

question, but I didn’t want to ask her to explain anything more. I was kind of done thinking about
all of it myself. It was some fucking heavy shit to process, but it didn’t change the way I felt about

her.
“Of course, I still love you, Bella. More than anyone or anything,” I told her truthfully.

Bella seemed to be relieved as she closed her eyes. “I love you so much, Edward. So much.”
I pressed my lips to her cheek, tasting her tears, just as I had done the night in the meadow.
I placed my hands on either side of her face and began to place tiny feather-light kisses all over her

forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, her cute little nose, until I finally reached her lips. I kissed her
chastely, not wanting her to realize how incredibly excited I had become. It wasn’t just because I

found the idea of Bella as some sort of spy – armed with a gun – a turn on.
Though, I totally fucking did.
But in this moment, I was aroused for a different reason. It was my love for Bella that was making
me want her.
I tried to keep the kiss brief; unsure of her current emotional state. But, Bella deepened the kiss
until our tongues were intertwined, as she wrapped her legs around my waist. She pressed her

warmness against my hardness. My breath caught as I realized she was only wearing my old
football t-shirt and no panties. I couldn’t help but fucking groan in pleasure. As Bella reached to

pull down my boxer briefs, I stopped her hand.
“Bella, are you sure? We don’t have to do anything. I’ll just hold you, if that’s what you want.”
“I want to feel as close as I can to you, Edward. It’s not about sex … I mean, it is … I guess … I don’t
know what I’m ask-“
I put my finger on her lips and whispered what I thought she might be trying to say, “You want me
to make love to you.”
She nodded as her lips met mine again, albeit unhurriedly this time.
I languidly kissed Bella as I slipped my boxer briefs off, and then pulled the t-shirt over Bella’s head,

tossing it onto the floor. She settled back onto my lap – her sex pressed against my sex.
Everything took on a dream-like quality, as I slipped inside of Bella. We moved together with

agonizingly incredible slowness. I never knew it could feel like this. We continued to kiss with our
bodies pressed together as Bella remained wrapped around me, moving her hips slowly with mine.
It was very different from the sex we’d had every time before. It was different from any sex I’d ever
had.
At some point, Bella was beneath me as I continued to move slowly within her.
All of my senses were filled with Bella. The only sounds were those of our ragged breathing.
I indulged myself in the feel of her soft, smooth skin beneath me. My nose was filled with the faint
scent of lilacs -- Bella’s scent -- and our love-making. I tasted the sweetness of Bella as our mouths

were still upon one another. As her breathing quickened, I pulled away slightly to watch as I made
Bella come undone.
I was making love to Bella.
I felt myself come undone as well.
Bella was making love to me.
Our bodies pulsed together.
I wanted to whisper to her how much I loved her, but the moment was beyond simple words. I
never would have believed having sex – no, making love – could be so profound.
Eventually, I rolled to my side, and Bella shifted to face me. I pulled the sheet up around us so she
wouldn’t get cold.

Bella curled up against me, and we slept peacefully. For awhile.
I was awoken at some point in the middle of the night by Bella thrashing around in her sleep. She
was mumbling something about a woman, but I couldn’t make out the name she was mumbling. I

only knew she was referring to a woman, because I was able to pick out the word ‘her’ a couple of
times.
Bella usually always slept so quietly. I was unsure of what to do at first, being half-asleep myself.
After a few more seconds, I roused her from her nightmare.
“Bella, wake up. Wake up,” I said as I shook her gently.
Bella’s eyes flew open, and she looked at me, the terror evident in her eyes even in the limited

illumination coming from the moonlight filtering through the partially open blinds.
She held onto me.
“You were having a bad dream. Are you okay?” I asked, concerned.
“I’m sorry, Edward. I didn’t mean to wake you. I rarely have bad dreams,” she said apologetically,

seemingly embarrassed for some reason.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I assured her.
Bella had a faraway look, like maybe she was remembering her nightmare.
“Um, did I say anything while I was dreaming,” she asked quietly.
“Not really anything I could make out. I heard you say something about a ‘her’ a couple of times.”
Bella threw herself down and buried her head in the pillows. “Oh, Edward, there’s so much more I

want to tell you. But, I can’t yet,” she said, her voice muffled by the pillows.
I really did have a fuckload of questions I wanted to ask, but I also didn’t want to be a dick and

press her.
I wrapped my arm around her back and laid my head down beside hers. “I know you’ll tell me

when you can,” I whispered.
I knew she would. I just hoped I had the patience to wait.
She looked over at me from her pillow. “I will. But there are some things I may never be able to tell
you. Can you live with that?”
“I guess I don’t have a choice, since I fell in love with a secret agent,” I said teasingly.
“Edward, you know you can’t say anything, to anybody, about this. Not even to Alice. I shouldn’t

have even said anything, but I love you too much to keep everything from you,” she said gravely.
I was a little fucking aggravated that she felt the need to tell me to basically keep my fucking

mouth shut. I would never betray her confidence. I didn’t want her to catch on that I was irritated
after her having that nightmare, so I kept the smart-ass comments to myself.
Instead, I just said, “I know. I’ll never say anything to anyone.”
Bella must have noticed my dejected tone, because she smiled and ruffled my hair.
“Well, there are some things I can tell you about. I know you must be curious. Go ahead and ask.
I’ll just say ‘pass’ if it’s something I can’t answer.”
I chuckled a little over Bella’s attempt to turn such a serious subject into some kind of game, but I
knew she was only trying to lighten the mood -- while throwing me a bone.

What the hell. If Bella was willing to tell me more, I wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass. I

thought about which questions I wanted to ask, going with the simplest ones first.
“Hmmm, well since you’re packing heat, just how good of a shot are you?” I asked, trying to keep

the tone of my voice light.
Bella smiled confidently, “Very good, Edward.”
“What’s your accuracy with your Glock?”
“Wow, I’m impressed you know you’re firearms,” she said, and then added, “With my Glock, my

accuracy is damn close to 100%.”
“Fuck, Bella.” I was basically speechless and very fucking impressed.
Bella continued, “I’m second best in the entire agency with all types of guns.” She looked conflicted
between pride and something I couldn’t quite pin down.
The moonlight filtering into my bedroom wasn’t providing enough illumination to really discern it. I
dismissed it and continued on with my next question.
“Who’s the best?” I asked.
“Aro, my dad.”
“What’s his job in your agency?” I figured it was at least worth a try to ask.
“Um … pass.”
Yeah – that’s what I thought.
“What’s your job?” I asked instead, genuinely curious.
She hesitated a moment, and I really thought she was going to say ‘pass,’ but she answered.
“Officially, I deal with retrieving sensitive documents for the agency.”
I was sure I was getting an abbreviated version of her full duties as she continued speaking.
“I’m sent to various locations to procure information the agency needs,” she spoke softly, “…and I

will probably be called to go somewhere, at some point, while I’m here. Just so you know, Edward.
If I have to leave suddenly for a few days or something.”
I immediately picked up on her saying ‘while I’m here.’
We had never talked about her returning to California. I had been assuming all along she really was

here to start a new life. But now that I knew her reason for being here had been to find out how
Jacob had died -- and she had done that -- I realized there was a real possibility she would

eventually leave.
As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I sure as fuck didn’t want her leaving Forks anytime soon.

But, I certainly wasn’t going to tell her that and scare her away. Things were already moving fast
enough, as it was. I needed to tread lightly in talking about any ‘future of our relationship’ shit.
“Are you going to go back to Pepperdine?” I asked cautiously.
“I’m planning on finishing the academic year here at Hale, and then I don’t know…” Her voice

trailed off.
I knew we were getting into un-fucking-comfortable territory for both of us, so I dropped it and

changed the subject back to asking her about her job.
“So, I’m guessing you get paid a fucking ton of money, right?”

“An embarrassing amount, Edward,” Bella said sheepishly, but then added in a more somber tone,

“I don’t know if it’s really worth it. Everything you have to give up, chances you have to take,
secrets you have to keep.”
“Did you have a choice? Like, to become a part of it, or whatever?”
“No, not really,” she answered simply and with no emotion.
“Can you quit?”
Bella scoffed, “It’s not that kind of job, Edward. You can’t just quit, and you don’t get fired. The

only time you are no longer part of the organization is when you’re dead.”
We both said nothing more.
Bella sighed and rolled away from me.
I stared at the ceiling as the gravity of what she had just said sunk in.
I thought about how Jacob had been part of their ‘organization’ and ended up dead -- at only
fucking nineteen-years old. Bella hadn’t revealed much about Aro, but I had a strong suspicion he

was indeed an assassin. It was becoming clear to me that working for this whatever-the-fuck it-
was-called organization was obviously both dangerous and deadly.
And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to protect Bella.
Or was there?
Long after Bella had fallen back asleep, I crept out of my room and down to my parent’s now
unused bedroom. I opened their walk-in closet door and moved a bunch of my mom’s designer

shoe boxes to reveal Carlisle’s safe. I spun the combination lock, remembering the code perfectly. I
opened the safe and pulled out Carlisle’s gun – a Beretta 96 .40 caliber model. My dad had taught

me how to shoot it a few years ago, and told me I could have it as my own, if I ever wanted it.
Well, that time had arrived. I not only wanted it, I had a feeling I might need it.
But, I was out of practice. I hadn’t been to any of the local shooting ranges for at least a year,
maybe longer.
I wasn’t about to mention anything to Bella. But after hearing her revelations, I knew the best
thing I could do was go to the range and practice as soon as I had the chance. I hadn’t been half-

bad in the past. Not close to 100% or anything, but I could hold my own.
I wasn’t about to just stand by helplessly and allow something to happen to Bella.
If I loved her – and I did – I was going to put my own life on the line to keep her safe and alive.

Chapter 13: I Feel You

EPOV
November 24, Wednesday:
The flight from Seattle to Los Angeles was smooth and, thankfully, uneventful. Bella slept most of
the way, her head resting peacefully against my shoulder. I nodded off once or twice myself. The

first-class seats Aro had purchased for us were really fucking comfortable.
After we arrived at LAX, a ‘friend’ of Bella’s family, Felix, picked us up outside of the baggage claim

area. I was pretty sure he was part of this ‘organization’ as well.

Damn – the man was massive.
I had always thought of Emmett as a big guy. This Felix-dude was even bigger than Emmett. The
guy was scary big. He had to be at least 6’7” tall and all muscle.
He gave Bella a cursory, innocent enough hug, but I couldn’t help but feel fucking jealous.
It was kind of odd, because when Bella’s dad, Aro, had been up in Forks, I didn’t remember him

greeting her with any kind of hug or outward show of affection.
Of course, I now knew Bella certainly didn’t hail from your typical family. I was still trying to wrap

my mind around all the information she had shared with me over the last week and a half. Things
made so much more sense now. All of Bella’s evasiveness and puzzling behavior wasn’t so much of

a mystery to me anymore.
We hadn’t discussed much more about it after the night she had come to my house -- after the

unexpected visit from her father. As it was, classes were busting our asses up until yesterday when
the Thanksgiving break officially started. Bella had told me there were some things she just

couldn’t talk about. But I got the impression there were also things she just chose not to discuss.
Not that I had any place to say anything about her still keeping some secrets. I had made no

mention to her of the gun I now carried most of the time. Since I didn’t want any airport hassles or
headaches in trying to bring a firearm along, I had left the gun back in the safe at my house. After

seeing Felix, I was fairly confident we were well-protected for our time here in LA.
Although, I wondered if Bella had brought her Glock.
She carried it with her almost all the time now, because of the Victoria situation. Every time I
picked up her purse, for whatever reason, I always noted the extra weight in it.
Now, I understood why it had been so heavy the morning I had handed it to her, after our night in
the meadow. She must have been carrying it with her that night. Maybe she had thought it would

be safer for us to be out in the middle-of-nowhere if at least one of us was armed?
I had made a point to sneak off to the shooting range in Port Angeles and renew my membership. I

practiced with the Beretta and was pleasantly surprised to find I was still a good fucking shot. Not
exactly close to one hundred fucking percent, but good enough that I felt confident I could defend

Bella, if need be.
Felix, the family ‘friend,’ loaded our luggage into the back of a seriously sweet black Lexus SUV, and

we headed north to Malibu. We were going to stay at Bella’s beach house there and have
Thanksgiving dinner with her family tomorrow in Beverly Hills.
I actually couldn’t wait to see Bella’s house. I was sure it would put her rental house in Forks to
fucking shame.
I had googled some of the real estate in Malibu. Fuck. Some of those properties were in the range
of twenty million dollars. Bella was obviously extremely well-compensated for her job as a secret

agent. That was just one more fucking reason I was certain Bella was downplaying the danger
involved. Organizations did not arm their employees, and pay them that kind of money, just for the

hell of it.
I had been to Los Angeles a few times in the past, but I had forgotten just how crowded the

freeways were at this time of day. We alternated between making decent progress, and then being
stuck in traffic as we traveled along the 405.
Once we made our way over to the Pacific Coast Highway, we made much better progress. There
was some small talk about the traffic and our flight down here.

Overall, Felix seemed to be a man of few words.
Finally, we pulled off the highway onto a property that was situated right above the coastline.
The grounds and gardens alone were nothing short of spectacular.
Yeah, this was definitely one of those properties that fell into the twenty million dollar range. Holy
Fuck.
Bella looked all happy and nudged my arm. “Hey, you look like you’re lost in thought.” I was still
taking in the magnificence of it all when I heard Bella add, “We’re here, Edward. This is my house.”
And what a house it was. “Wow,” I mouthed as we exited the vehicle and walked towards the front
entrance of the contemporary stone house.
Felix busied himself with our bags once more.
We entered Bella’s house, and I had to admit I was beyond being fucking stunned. I looked around

in awe of the intricate stonework and high-beamed wood ceilings, just for starters. A number of
balcony doors led out to a huge stone patio area which was perched above the coastline. From

what I could see, there had to be at least a 270-degree view of the ocean from the patio area.
Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the patio area. There was a set of stone steps that led

down to a lagoon-like hot tub. No matter which direction I turned, the views were un-fucking-
believable.
“So, do you like it?” Bella asked tentatively.
“Like it? Are you serious? It’s fucking incredible, Bella.” I was sure my voice betrayed my state of

incredulousness.
Bella smiled. She looked exceptionally beautiful as the late day sunlight lit up her features.
I pulled her into my arms and lightly brushed my lips against hers. She responded by wrapping her
arms around me and kissing me passionately.
I didn’t want to start something when I didn’t know if Felix had even left yet, so I slowed the kisses
down and pulled back slightly, still holding her against my chest.
“Maybe we should wait until your … uh … friend leaves?” I said, raising one of my eyebrows
questioningly.
Bella giggled, sounding unusually carefree. “Yeah, you have a point. Let’s go see if he is finished
bringing our luggage in.”
She pulled away, and I followed her back into the house. The bags stood sentry in the entry hall,
and it appeared that Felix had indeed left.
I wrapped my arms back around Bella as I stood behind her and nuzzled my nose into her hair.
Lilacs. I really didn’t think I’d ever tire of anything about Bella. She still smelled as delicious to me

as she did the day I had first met her in class. And, our touches were no less electric than they
were that first day either.
“I love you,” I whispered into her ear.
She turned to face me and kissed me tenderly. “I love you, too, Edward.” She broke away from our

kiss and sighed.
Her eyes clouded with what looked like worry or some shit, her carefree mood gone in that

moment.
“Hey – are you okay?” I asked.

Bella shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts, and then seemed to return back to her carefree

mood. “Yes, of course. So, what do you want to do tonight? Do you want to go out to one of the
clubs?”
“Whatever you want to do is fine with me. It’s your town, babe,” I said teasingly.
Bella wore a mischievous look on her face now – and that usually meant she was up to something

that would end up being fun. Usually, really fucking fun.

******************************

As we cruised back down the Pacific Coast Highway in Bella’s Gullwing, I couldn’t keep my eyes off
of Bella as she drove. She was wearing a short black dress with what I liked to call the black thigh-

high fuck-me boots. Though I had yet to actually fulfill that particular fantasy. Just one of many I
kept thinking of in my perverted fucking mind.
I was wearing black pants and a white button-down shirt. I had asked Bella what the dress code
was for the club she was taking me to, and she had assured me that what I was wearing was fine.

She had then added that I looked ‘hot.’ That little comment made me feel even cockier than usual.
Bella was going to be in all kinds of trouble tonight once I got her back home.
I reached over and put my hand on her right thigh, right above the top of the boot.
“Edward,” she cautioned.
“What?” I asked in my most innocent voice as I lightly trailed my hand up her bare thigh to the
hem of her dress.
“What are you wearing under this dress, Bella?” I said, sure my voice sounded thick with the desire
I was feeling.
Bella pushed my hand away playfully and cleared her throat. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Edward?”
Before I could reach back over and find out, she added, “Uh, uh, uh. Since I’d like to get us there

safely, keep your hands to yourself … for now.”
Maybe it was the warm California night air, but I was feeling particularly aggressive tonight. Yeah,

I’d keep my hands to myself -- for now.
Bella had the car valet-parked, and we entered the club through a separate side entrance after

Bella flashed some sort of card to the guy at the door. I was guessing it was a membership card,
since we had bypassed the extremely long lines of people waiting to get in.
The club was huge and fairly dark, with three separate levels. The lower two levels each had their
own dance floors and bars. The third level was glass-enclosed and appeared to have a bar and

seating area, but no dance floor.
The whole place had a very industrial-look to it, and the many speakers were blaring out mostly

alternative and rock music.
Bella grabbed my hand, and we headed over to a staircase that led directly to the third floor. She

flashed her card again to a man that stood at the base of the stairs, and he allowed us to ascend
the stairs. My eyes were trained on Bella’s ass as we walked up the stairs. Fuck.
Another doorman held the door open for us as we entered the private club area. Even though the
music was still loud, we could actually talk and hear each other in this part of the club.
There were dark grey plush chairs and sofas throughout the room, and a bar. For as crowded as the
lower two levels were, there didn’t appear to be very many people up here in the VIP section.

We sat down on one of the corner sofas; away from the glass that offered a view of the lower two

levels. A young girl came over to take our drink order. Bella ordered a glass of white wine, and I
ordered an Armadale vodka and tonic.
After the girl walked away with our order, Bella snuggled in closer to me. I draped my arm around
her shoulders.
“So what’s the story with Felix?” I had been meaning to ask, and now seemed as good of a time as
any to bring it up.
Bella rolled her eyes at me. “Why? Are you jealous, Edward?”
“No, not at all,” I lied. “I was just curious if he really was a family ‘friend’ or … a business associate.”
Our drink order arrived before she could answer, and Bella downed her wine swiftly. She ordered
another before the girl had even left.
Guess I would be driving the Gullwing later tonight. I made a mental note to make my drink last for
awhile. I really wasn’t in that much of a drinking mood tonight anyway. I was much more

interested in other activities later.
“Um, he’s a business associate,” Bella stated quietly.
There was no one around us, so I figured it was okay to ask a few more questions.
“Can you tell me what his job is? Or, is that a secret, too?” I said, trying for it not to sound like a

smart-ass comment. Though I’m sure it did.
Bella’s second glass of wine arrived and she took a sip before answering, thus allowing time for the

cocktail waitress to be out of earshot.
“He trains agents how to shoot and how to fight,” she whispered. “He trained me.”
Holy fuck. Now this was quite the revelation. For as stunned as I had been to find out Bella was
armed, and very adept at handling firearms, nothing could have prepared me for my reaction to

finding out she knew how to fight.
No-fucking-way. I felt a twitch in my pants at the thought.
“He trained you how to fight? Like what kind of fighting?” I asked, genuinely fascinated … and
aroused as fuck.
“Martial arts. Mostly defensive moves … you know … just in case,” she said, lowering her voice
even more.
Yeah – just as I suspected. Her job was far more dangerous than she had been letting on.
“I’m sure you don’t think you could kick my ass?” I scoffed, amused at the idea of her trying.
I highly doubted no matter what moves she had been taught, she was not nearly strong enough to
inflict any real damage, especially not to someone who was quick and strong. And I knew I was

both of those things.

Bella looked a little bit pissed off, moving away from me slightly. “Maybe I couldn’t kick your ass,
Edward. But, I could probably have done some damage to someone like Mike Newton,” she said

confidently.
That was beyond fucking hot. My cock was definitely getting hard now. The thought of Bella

getting in a couple of good shots on that fuck was just too much to imagine.
“Now, that would be something to see,” I said in a low, hoarse voice.

The mischievous glint was back in Bella’s eyes. “Does that turn you on, Cullen?” she said playfully.
I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, because the now-annoying waitress made a return visit. I told
her gruffly that I was fine, but Bella ordered another wine. I considered just asking the waitress to

bring us the whole fucking bottle, so she wouldn’t keep interrupting our titillating conversation,
but decided that probably wouldn’t go over well with Bella.
Suddenly, Bella asked me a question that threw me off for a second.
“Have you ever shot a gun?” she asked matter-of-factly as she took a sip of her wine.
Shit. What the hell should I say?
I didn’t want to tell Bella that I had been carrying the Beretta.
I decided to tell her some of the truth, and just leave out the recent developments.
“Uh, my dad used to take me to the shooting range. But that was a while ago.”
Now it was Bella’s turn to look surprised.
Her eyes widened. “Really now, Edward? Are you as good at shooting as you are at fighting?”
For as much as I knew I had a temper and shouldn’t get into fights, I felt totally fucking flattered
that Bella thought of me as a good fighter.
I mean – I knew I was.
But, now that I was aware of her training, it meant a lot more for her to say that.
“So you think I’m a good fighter?” I inquired, purposely ignoring her question regarding shooting.
“Yeah, you are, Edward. When I saw you get into that fight with Mike Newton I was kind of in awe.

You were so fast … and strong…” her voice trailed off, and she bit down on her lip.
Fuck, Bella sure looked like she was as turned on as I was.
The damn cock-blocking waitress returned with Bella’s wine, and I signed the tab and told her we
were fine for the rest of the night.
Bella drank her wine rather quickly again and abruptly stood up. “Let’s dance,” she said in a fucking
totally seductive tone.
I didn’t really feel like dancing, but if Bella wanted to dance….
I reluctantly got up and started to head to the door that led down to one of the dance floors, but

Bella grabbed my arm and started to lead me to a hallway at the other end of the room we were
in. I assumed it led to the restrooms for the VIP patrons. I happily let her lead me since it afforded

me another view of her ass in that tight dress … and those boots.
Bella stopped at the door labeled ‘ladies,’ and told me to wait a second while she made sure

nobody was in there. While Bella checked the restroom, I glanced around the hallway. There was
absolutely nobody in sight. Bella opened the door and pulled me into the empty women’s

restroom, locking the door behind us.
The music was much louder in here. Apparently, it wasn’t as soundproof as the main area.
Depeche Mode’s ‘I Feel You’ started to play as Bella leaned back against the locked door and
beckoned me with her index finger.
“Come here,” she said softly. Her eyes were dark and filled with lust. Fuck.
I was instantly pressed up against her, moving my hips with hers, in time with the beat of the

music.
My mouth was on hers, kissing her much more roughly than usual. Her hands went straight into
my hair. She grasped my hair and pulled my head back away from her with some force. I fucking

loved it.
“Fuck me, Edward,” she demanded as she ground her hips forcefully against mine.
The music pulsed throughout the room.
I pushed her hard against the fucking door and she groaned in apparent pleasure. She reached

down to unzip my pants, as I ran my hands up the insides of her thighs.
Fuck – the fucking thong she was wearing was soaked with her wetness.

It was so flimsy; I just ripped it off of her body in one swift pull.
She moaned, and I kissed her again, urging her mouth open. She complied and I kissed her deeply.

I pushed my unzipped pants and boxer briefs down as fast as I fucking could.
Bella grabbed my engorged cock and squeezed. I fucking moaned against her mouth, especially

when I pressed my body back up against hers and felt the leather of those fuck-me boots graze
against my bare thighs.
“Help me take my clothes off,” she pleaded against my lips. It was looking more and more like
maybe Bella and I shared the same boot-fantasy. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Any semblance of gentleness, however slight, was gone after she uttered that comment. I
unzipped the back of her dress and she shimmied out of it quickly. I swiftly unclasped her bra and

it fell to the floor as well. Thankfully, the private restroom appeared to be quite clean.
I turned her around to face the door and, none-too-gently, bent her over at the waist. She placed

her palms flat against the door as she braced herself.
I took a brief second, or two, to take in the view of Bella totally nude, except for those boots. Fuck

me. Her ass jutted out as she leaned forward against the door, and her hair flowed down her back
-- the darkness of it a sharp contrast to her creamy, pale skin.
I ran my hands over the soft skin of her ass, and then knelt down on my knees.
I grasped her legs, near the tops of her boots, and pushed them further apart, revealing her sex in

all its glorious wetness, to me.
Bella gasped as I ran my tongue from her clit, over her slit, and back again. It was an odd angle, but

I managed to suck her clit between my lips, and then swirl my tongue around it swiftly, eliciting a
strangled moan from Bella.
My cock was starting to swell to an uncomfortable fullness, so I stood back up and grasped onto
Bella’s hips. Without hesitation, I slammed my cock into her dripping-wet pussy with all the force I

could fucking muster.
She started to scream out my name -- with some kind of a reference to God -- but I reached

forward to cover her mouth. Surely, someone would hear her, even over the music. Bella was
grinding back against my cock, and I felt her pussy walls convulse violently as she came. Fuck – she

must have been more turned on than I had even thought.

I put my other hand on her ass to steady us both, as I pulled out almost all the way and slammed
back into her again. She fucking bit down on my hand that was still pressed against her mouth, and

that just made me fuck her harder. I smacked her ass … hard … as I continued to fucking drill into
her. Bella whimpered and moved with me.

We were both panting by this point, her hot breaths still muffled by my hand over her mouth. She

shifted her mouth, wrapped her lips around my index finger, and sucked it into her mouth. Fuck.
My cock pulsed inside of her as I came.
It felt like my heart was pounding out of my chest, as I slowly moved my hand away from her
mouth and released my tight grip on her ass. I pulled up my underwear and pants, and zipped up.
Bella’s breath was still uneven. I turned her so she was facing me again. She slumped back against
the door. I picked her bra and dress up off the floor and helped her slip back into everything. I

tossed the thong into the wastepaper basket, as it was completely unsalvageable.
I kissed her softly, pulling away just enough to ask her, “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” I was

feeling a little bit remorseful for being so rough with her.
She looked at me with drowsy eyes. “I’m not as breakable as you seem to think I am, Edward.” She

managed to then roll her drowsy eyes at me.
Well, there was no need to feel remorseful. Bella had obviously enjoyed it as much as I did. I

chuckled a little as I took in her disheveled look.
“What?” she asked.
“You just look cute. Maybe like you’ve just been fucked or something,” I teased as I ruffled her hair,
making it messier than it already was.
Then, I ran my fingers through my own hair. I was sure mine was even messier than hers.
Bella began to giggle. “We better get out of here, before someone figures out what we’ve been up

to in here.”
We snuck out of the restroom. Luckily, there was no one around.
Bella let me drive the Gullwing back to Malibu.
Fuck – it was a sweeter ride than I had even imagined it to be. I floored it when we eventually

reached a deserted section of highway close to Bella’s house. I remembered reading somewhere
that it went from 0-60 miles per hour in 3.8 seconds, and it sure as fuck did. It hugged the curves

and, fuck – it was smooth. No wonder her dad had wanted to drive it up to Forks.
Bella smiled over at me a couple of times, once asking me if I was enjoying driving her car. Like I

even needed to answer that ridiculous question. It was the second-best event of the night.
I’d only been in California for less than twelve hours, but I was already having the time of my life.

********************************

BPOV
November 25, Thursday:
Edward and I woke up at approximately the same time, around ten-thirty, the next morning.
After whispered declarations of love and tender touches, with our limbs entwined, Edward made
love to me -- a complete contrast to the primal sex we’d had the night before at the club. He was

slow and deliberate, and I reveled in the beauty that was Edward as he moved within me.
A few hours later found us driving south to my parent’s house in Beverly Hills. Although, I suppose

‘my parent’s secured residential compound’ would be a much more apt description.
I allowed Edward to drive my Gullwing again, since he seemed to derive so much pleasure from it.
At traffic lights and stop signs, I repeatedly caught him glancing over at my bare legs. I was wearing

a floral print sundress and sandals that just seemed to capture the essence of the perfect, sunny

California day.
I gave him directions as we wound past the massive estates of Beverly Hills, most all hidden behind

tall trees, thick shrubbery, and massive, ornate gates. Edward inhaled sharply when we reached
the tall, imposing security gates of my parent’s home. It was the largest estate of all we had

passed, and that fact was clearly not lost on Edward.
I leaned over him and punched in the security code, my sundress-covered breasts grazing over his

left arm.
Edward ran his hand playfully over my ass, before I settled back into my own seat. He chuckled

lightly as I squirmed, my body ignited with desire. No matter how often we were together and
touched one another, that electricity was nowhere near waning. If anything, it was becoming even

more potent.
The first set of gates opened, and we inched up to the second set of equally-imposing gates, where

one of our security guards, Alec, was on duty.
“Hey, Bella, it’s great to see you, again,” he said amicably.
I introduced him to Edward, and he pushed a few buttons on his remote. The second set of gates
opened smoothly, and we drove forward.
I showed Edward where to park after we reached the circular driveway that encircled the fountain
in front of my family home. Edward looked uncharacteristically nervous as we got out and

approached the front entrance of my parent’s brick Georgian-style mansion.
Even though I could detect his nervousness, he still walked confidently across the brick driveway;

breathtakingly beautiful as always. He was wearing dark grey suit pants and a slate-blue dress
shirt. I reached out and took his hand in mine to comfort and reassure him that everything would

be fine.
And, I hoped it would be. I knew just how intense Aro and Jane could be. At least he’d already met

my dad up in Forks. But he had yet to meet my mom, and she could be just as intimidating.
Jane was a tiny little thing, maybe even smaller than Alice. She looked way younger than her forty-

plus years of age. So much so that people sometimes thought we were sisters or cousins.
Despite her tiny stature, she was a force to be reckoned with. She had a way of getting information

out of people. It was like a natural talent, but I was certain The Project had taught her a variety of
effective interrogation techniques as well.

I gave Edward’s hand a final squeeze, before I reluctantly let it go and opened the front door.
Aro was already waiting for us in the spacious entry hallway, apparently having been made aware
of our arrival by Alec. He clasped his hands together and purred, “Ah, Bella and Edward….

Welcome.”
Edward extended his hand. “Nice to see you again, sir.”
Aro shook Edward’s hand and said, “Please, Edward. Just call me Aro, not sir. Now that Bella has
taken it upon herself to enlighten you as to some of our family’s … involvements, I believe we can

dispense with such formalities.”
Ugh.
I’d had no choice but to inform Aro of most everything I had divulged to Edward. It would have
been irresponsible for me not to have told my father.

Besides, I would have been in far more trouble if The Project had somehow found out that Edward

now knew as much as he did.
It had just been in both our best interests to explain to Aro, however uncomfortable it was -- and it

surely was -- that I had fallen in love with Edward. And, I had a right to share some of my secrets
with the man I loved.
To say Aro had been less than pleased with me would have been a massive understatement. I had
tried to deflect some of the blame onto him, saying that if he hadn’t shown up in Forks in my

Gullwing, Edward would never have been so inclined to start asking questions. I purposely had
neglected to tell Aro about Edward finding my gun.
Edward looked like he didn’t have a clue on how to properly respond to that comment. So, I did.
I rolled my eyes at Aro. “Dad, you promised me you’d be polite to Edward and not make him feel

uncomfortable,” I said agitatedly.
“Edward, Bella is correct. I did make a promise to my daughter to make you feel as comfortable as

possible in visiting our home. I hope I haven’t broken my promise so soon,” Aro said, looking quite
apologetic.
But I knew he wasn’t the least bit sorry. He just had his game face on. And, damn, it was good.
Edward’s shoulders relaxed slightly as I moved to stand closer to him.
“Everything is fine, sir- … I mean, Aro,” Edward responded, his cool tone a perfect match to Aro’s.
I was proud of him. He wasn’t letting Aro intimidate him. Not that I really expected him to. There

was something about Edward. He possessed a confidence that could often border on cockiness.
But, he had every right to be as confident and self-assured as he was. I had only seen him do

nothing but excel in everything he did.
Before Aro had an opportunity to respond, Jane entered the hallway. I noted her exquisitely

tailored black suit was an almost-perfect match to Aro’s, except, instead of pants, her ensemble
included a skirt.
“Bella, we’ve missed you,” she said in a perfunctory tone as she gave me a quick, cursory hug.
Her gaze quickly moved to Edward. Sizing him up, I assumed.
She spoke very deliberately, “So, this must be Mr. Edward Cullen. We’ve heard so very much about
you.” She paused purposefully, and then continued, “I must say, it’s very nice to finally meet you.”
She offered her hand to Edward. I mentally rolled my eyes. Good God.
Edward shook hands with Jane, and I started to feel as if we were attending a business meeting

instead of visiting for Thanksgiving dinner.
“It’s nice to meet you as well, ma’am,” Edward responded politely.
Yep – there was a definite business meeting vibe in the air.
“Oh, please call me Jane,” she said as she turned towards the dining room area, still speaking.

“Please follow me to the dining room. Dinner is almost ready.”
Edward looked to me for … something. Reassurance? Guidance? I brushed his elbow lightly as we

all followed Jane into the dining room. I felt slightly better from the light contact, and I was almost
certain it helped Edward as well.
Our Thanksgiving dinner that had been prepared by the hired help was also served by the hired
help. Jane’s skills did not include cooking holiday meals.

Thankfully, the tension began to dissipate throughout the dinner as my parent’s began to ask

Edward more typical questions. Ones like about how he liked his classes and how it had been
growing up in Forks. They also asked him about his parents and his sister.
Edward spoke eloquently, entertaining them with tales of his childhood and his travels with his
family. I began to get the distinct impression that he may have actually been winning them over. As

much as people like Aro and Jane could be won over, that is.
By the time after-dinner coffee was being served, Edward was talking animatedly with Aro about

his plans for a future practicing law.
Jane took the opportunity to ask me if we could talk alone in the library. I was curious as to what

Jane could possibly want to talk to me about. We really didn’t have the type of mother-daughter
relationship where we discussed much of any consequence, unless it involved our work with The

Project.
We excused ourselves and went to the library, while Edward and Aro remained at the table, still

engaged in conversation.
Before we had even taken our seats in the library, Jane began to talk, “Bella, Edward seems like a

very nice young man.” She paused. “I’m truly glad, for your sake, that he wasn’t the one who kill-“
I cut her off, “Mom, I don’t want to talk about him.” I was referring, of course, to Jacob.
Despite my love for Edward, I still missed my friendship with Jacob. I now knew our physical
relationship had been largely unfulfilling, because I had not loved Jacob in the same way he had

loved me. And, that realization still made me feel sad and guilty. But, I couldn’t live in the past; I
had to keep moving forward.
“Edward is my life now, Mom,” I said with conviction.
Jane looked at me sternly. “Bella, be realistic. I know you foolishly told him many things you had no

right -- nor permission -- to share with him. But do you really believe you can have a future with
him?”
My eyes filled with tears as she finished speaking the words I feared may be true. “Yes,” I croaked
out in defiance.
“Well, then you are a bigger fool than I thought,” she said, her voice laced with disdain. She then
added, “Bella, you were sent to Forks to falsely befriend him. You were sent to Forks with the order

to kill him, if necessary. You’re trying to build a relationship on a foundation of secrets and lies.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks, unchecked. Everything she was saying was true. How could I ever

tell Edward those secrets? And, if I did, how could he ever still love me? How could you love
someone who had once fully planned on taking your life? The thought of it now shamed and

sickened me. I knew in my heart, I could not continue living this deception if I truly loved Edward.
He had to know the truth.
Jane continued to speak, but I didn’t hear the words she was saying. The sound of blood rushing in
my ears was deafening. My heart beat so rapidly I had to take deep breaths in an attempt to calm

myself.
A strangled sob escaped my lips. If I hadn’t been seated, I would have fallen to the ground.
I must have looked as distraught as I felt, because Jane was quickly at my side, her hand on my
arm.
“Bella, get it together,” she said sternly, but with a modicum of kindness. “Nobody is telling you to
break it off with Edward. I just want you to look at the situation realistically.”

Her tone was much softer now as she continued, “Just finish out the academic year up there. You

are young. You never know who you might meet down the road.”
I pulled my arm away from her angrily as I spoke adamantly, “I’m not interested in meeting anyone

else.”
I had no intention of breaking anything off with Edward, but I feared he would no longer feel the

same way about me once I confessed my secrets to him.
Jane sat back down in her chair, ignoring my last statement.
She moved right to the next subject, effectively shutting down any more discussion of my
relationship with Edward. My head was still reeling when she casually brought up the new topic. To

her, it was if we had been discussing something as inane as the weather.
“There is one more issue we need to go over,” she said.
I looked at her questioningly, waiting for her to tell me what it was.
"It’s Victoria.”
Oh, fuck. I hadn’t even really been thinking much about her. Aro had told me she hadn’t made any
return trips to the Pacific Northwest since his visit there. I had been carrying my Glock with me,

but really had put the thought of Victoria returning into the back of my mind. The rigors of my
classes, and being immersed in loving Edward, had kept me busy and distracted the past couple of

weeks.
Jane continued unabated, “The Project has located her in Denver. Since that is where James ran to

as well, we suspect there may be somebody funding her from there.”
It was an interesting concept. James had had plenty of money in Seattle, living on Mercer Island

and all. And, Victoria continued to have enough money to run and successfully hide from The
Project. Not an easy task.
Although now she had been located.
“Who do you think is funding her -- another rogue agent?” I inquired.
“Bella, there are no other rogue agents.”
I knew that meant any and all other rogue agents had been exterminated. What I had told Edward

was the truth; nobody ever quit or was fired from The Project.
Death was the only way out, whether it came from natural causes or not.
“Is Dad going back to Denver then?” I asked cautiously.
I was essentially asking if Aro was going to Denver to assassinate Victoria.
“Yes. He leaves tomorrow.” Jane’s voice held no hint of any emotion regarding the subject at hand.
“Oh,” I said absently. It seemed rather soon, but considering how quickly Victoria could flee, it

made sense.
The next thing Jane said left me in stunned silence.
“And, Bella, The Project wants you to go with Aro.”

Chapter 14: Losing You

BPOV

November 25, Thursday (continued…)
“What? What? Why?” I stammered in disbelief.
Why would The Project want me to accompany Aro on his mission to assassinate the only known

rogue agent out there, Victoria? Aro was more than capable of handling the mission on his own.
But, then again, perhaps it made perfect sense. She wanted to hurt me in order to avenge her

lover’s death. My mother didn’t need to elaborate any further.
I now knew what my role would be: I was to be the bait.
“The agency is afraid she’ll flee again, right?” I asked in order to gain confirmation.
Jane held my gaze, and her normally golden-colored eyes looked eerily red in the soft, ambient

light of the library lamps.
“Yes, Bella. It is imperative that Victoria be stopped while we have her location pinned down.” She

spoke softly, but firmly. “As you know, she has eluded us since the summer. And, more importantly,
you are in continual danger until she is stopped. It is better to lure her to you and have Aro there to

just put an end to this whole thing.”
“What am I supposed to tell Edward? We were going to stay in LA until Sunday,” I asked, sickened

by the thought of having to, once again, tell Edward some kind of a lie. More deception.
Jane raised her eyebrows questioningly. “He knows your line of work, now doesn’t he, Bella? Tell

him you have to go out of town on business,” she said, stressing the last two words. “Besides, it’s
the truth. That’s what you’re so concerned about, right? Being honest with him?” she questioned,

though she knew damn well those were my concerns.
“Yes,” I whispered. “How long will I be gone?”
“If all goes according to plan, you will be on a flight back to Seattle by Sunday.”
That seemed about right. Aro had done away with James within a two-day time frame. And that

had been without any bait.
I had never been asked by the agency to fulfill such a role. But, then again, no one had ever

specifically targeted me.
I felt positively ill. The thought of Victoria being after me was disturbing enough. But, I had

managed to push it to the back of my thoughts when she had fled the country.
Now – she was back.
It would only be a matter of time before she returned to Forks to find me. Finding her first made
perfect sense, although I didn’t relish the thought of being some kind of bait. I certainly planned to

be armed to the teeth.
“Sunday…” I said absently as my thoughts continued to drift.
Instead of finishing out the long holiday weekend with Edward in Los Angeles, I would be with Aro
in Denver, ferreting out Victoria.
Your life was not your own when you belonged to The Project.
Jane’s voice took on a sharp quality as she snapped me back to the task at-hand. “Bella, this is no

time to be distracted or unfocused.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just surprised by all of this.”
Jane threw me a disapproving look as she said, “I know why you’re distracted. It’s because of
Edward. Am I right?”

There was no point in lying. Just as Aro was able to sense the truth, Jane was so adept at

interrogating; she would just endlessly question me until I gave in and told her.
And, as truly frightening as it was, I knew what I had to do. I had to tell Edward the truth. The

whole truth.
“I’m going to tell him the truth, Mom,” I said determinedly.
Jane’s eyes narrowed. “Bella, you have already told him entirely too much. You do not have
permission to tell him where you are going or why you are going. That’s an order, Bella,” she stated

angrily, misunderstanding what I meant by saying I was going to tell Edward the truth.
“Okay,” I quietly agreed, allowing her to believe her rare misperception.
I wasn’t planning on telling Edward the details of my sudden, unexpected ‘business trip’ to Denver.
I had meant that I was going to finally tell Edward the truth about why I had originally gone to

Forks.
And, not the part he already knew.
I was going to tell him all about how my mission had been to befriend him … and kill him, if
necessary.
I was distracted and unfocused, because I feared there would be no way Edward would continue to
love me once he knew the whole truth surrounding my deception with him.
I felt ill because I would effectively be ending my relationship with Edward. I would be ruining the
only good thing left in my life. But I couldn’t continue my relationship with Edward with my secret

heart.
Because -- although it was full of love for him -- it was also filled with lies.

************************************

Edward and I entered my Malibu house in an awkward and uncomfortable silence. A pall of

foreboding surrounded us.
After Jane and I had finished our discussion and returned to the dining room, I had hastily

informed Edward that we needed to leave.
He had looked perplexed as to my obvious sudden change in demeanor.
Aro had cast Jane a look of understanding; surely he had been aware of what our discussion in the
library had entailed.
After a series of cursory good-byes, Edward and I had driven home in relative silence. I’d
negotiated the curves expertly as we approached my house, while Edward had stared out the

passenger side window, saying nothing.
The tension grew thicker and thicker as we reached my doorstep and entered my house.
Edward finally broke the silence. “Bella, what’s going on?”
I kept my eyes down as I answered, “Remember when I told you there may be a time when I would

have to go on a business trip?” I peeked up at him through my lashes.
Understanding seemed to dawn upon him. “Oh, you have to go away? When? And, for how long?”
“Um, I have to leave tomorrow.” I winced, knowing Edward would not be happy with our trip being
cut short.
“But, I’ll be back in Forks by Sunday,” I added, trying unsuccessfully to put a positive spin on a

completely negative situation.
A plethora of emotions passed in Edward’s eyes. I knew him well enough to recognize a flash of
irritation, which was then replaced by a look of concern. Then, his gaze softened as he seemed to

remember that I had no choice in this type of thing. It was the nature of my work.
Edward pulled me into his strong arms. He buried his face in my hair. “As much as I don’t want you

to go, I understand,” he whispered.
I was thankful he wasn’t asking for specifics, since Jane had specifically forbidden me to tell

Edward where I was going, and for what reason.
His hands deftly unzipped my sundress and he began to caress my bare back. His lips moved over

mine as he kissed me reverently.
“Edward, I still … have to talk to you … about something else. I … have to tell you … something

more,” I said between kisses that were quickly becoming more heated.
Edward moaned his response gruffly against my lips, “It can wait.”
Before I could stop him, he swiftly lifted me up and carried me to my bed.
Quiet desperation was reflected in our every move. Mine was in response to the fear of losing

Edward … forever. His seemed to be in response to a fear as well, although I couldn’t be sure of
what it was. Fear of losing me, too?
Emotionally, I was slipping away. That was why I had barely spoken on the drive back. I was
distancing myself for the inevitable.
Perhaps Edward suspected there was more to the silence than my having to go on an unexpected
mission.
Our bodies moved languorously together as we became one. Edward’s full weight was upon me,
his face pressed against my neck. His hot, ragged breaths muffled by my skin. My fingers were

tangled in his hair, although I kept them still.
With just the sound of our quickening breaths filling the silence of my bedroom, the only

movements were those of his thrusts and my hips rising to meet him in an effort to deepen each
one.
Everything took on a surreal-like quality as time seemed to stand still. I committed every detail to
memory, knowing it would probably be our last time together.
No tears fell, yet.
I resigned myself to accept whatever fate offered up to me.
I loved Edward. And maybe -- just maybe -- he loved me enough to get past what I was going to tell
him.
Edward raised himself up slightly, so he could look into my eyes. His pace quickened as his emerald
eyes bore into me -- as if seeking my soul. I closed my eyes as I felt myself getting closer to

climaxing.
Edward’s hand nudged my cheek. “Look at me, Bella,” he commanded.
I opened my eyes reluctantly. Edward’s eyes darkened as he watched me come undone. He
released into me at the same time. I watched as his expression contorted with an almost-pained

pleasure.
Pain and pleasure, the two were so closely-linked.

Edward rolled onto his back, and I curled up against his side. He put his arm around me, and I

leaned my head against his chiseled chest. I listened to his heartbeat, like I always did.
Although, it was more poignant to me this time, since it could very well be the last time I would be

doing this.
A chill ran down my spine, making me shiver slightly.
“Are you cold?” Edward asked as he reached down to pull the down-filled comforter up around our
bodies.
“Not really,” I answered, snuggling against his body under the comforter nonetheless.
It wasn’t cold in my bedroom, but I felt chilled as I prepared to pour out the secrets I had held for

entirely too long.
As if he could read my mind, Edward suddenly asked, “So, what did you want to tell me before?”
I pulled away and leaned my head back on the pillows. Edward rolled onto his side, propping his
elbow up against the mattress so he could look at me. He was now staring at me intently,

apparently very interested in what I had to tell him.
I cleared my throat. “Um, I really don’t know where to start…” I faltered.
“How ‘bout at the beginning?” he offered, still holding my gaze.
“Did you really mean it when you said you’d never leave me?” I asked, in reference to the words he

had spoken the first night we’d spent alone together at his house. The night we had finally
consummated our relationship.
Edward’s brow furrowed somewhat. “Yes, I meant it. Why?”
I took a deep breath before continuing, “There’s more to the story I originally told you about why I

came to Forks.”
My heart sped up. My pulse quickened. My breathing became labored.
Edward said nothing, but waited for me to continue with one eyebrow raised questioningly.
I turned my head away, but he was having none of it. He nudged my cheek, just as he had done

earlier, so I had no choice but to meet his questioning stare again.
I swallowed hard, and then just let it all pour forth. “My mission was not just about finding out

what happened to Jake.”
Something akin to anger flashed in Edward’s eyes, but I wasn’t sure if it was due to the mention of

Jake’s name, or if he sensed where this was heading.
“My mission was to purposely become your friend, since your prints had been found on the gun.”
Edward began to look visibly upset as he abruptly sat up on the bed, his back now facing me. His
shoulder and back muscles flexed as he ran his fingers through his hair and put his face into his

hands. “Your fucking agency found the gun. That’s who those men were on the cliff – agents,” he
mused aloud, his voice cracking. “And you, Bella, fucking thought I killed Jacob?” he said, the pain

in his voice so evident that my heart hurt knowing I had done this to him.
“We didn’t know Edward … I didn’t know you. I didn’t know anything about you back then.” I spoke

rapidly, my voice shaking.
Edward was finally putting all the pieces together. Perhaps he had purposely ignored the

coincidences, because he had been blinded by his love for me.

When he turned to face me again, he looked at me accusingly. “What if I had been the one who

killed Jacob, Bella?” he said, his voice straining to stay even.
“But you weren’t, Edward,” I said as I sat up and placed my hand on his bare shoulder. He flinched

away from my touch and my heart broke. Edward had lied to me as well. He was going to leave me.
I could feel it.
Since I had nothing more to lose, I confessed in a monotone voice, “My mission was to kill you if
you had any involvement in Jacob’s death.”
The silence seemed to last for hours, although it was only minutes.
Edward said nothing, but stood up and started to get dressed. I wrapped the comforter around me,

suddenly feeling the need to cover my nakedness as I moved to kneel on the edge of the bed.
“Please, Edward, say something,” I pleaded.
He already had his pants on and was hastily buttoning up his dress shirt. I waited for him to look at
me, but he continued to look down.
“Would you... Would you have done it?” he asked in a mere whisper.
“No. No. No. I wouldn’t have. I couldn’t have. I fell in love with you, Edward.” My voice caught in

my throat. I could no longer keep the tears at bay.
Edward was fully-dressed now and packing his belongings into his suitcase. No. He couldn’t leave

me.
“Edward, please don’t go. I’m sorry. Please stay. I love---"
“Stop, Bella. Just stop.” He held his hand up to cut me off. He zipped up his suitcase. He was really
going to leave. He paused. “I’m just curious, Bella. Was falling in love with me part of your little

plan, too?” he inquired acerbically.
I shook my head emphatically. “No, of course not,” I whispered truthfully.
Edward finally met my gaze, and he looked – hurt, confused, betrayed, shocked, and angered. All
because of me and my secrets.
“Edward, please … please don’t…. Please don’t leave me.”
He laughed bitterly. “Bella, you were fucking planning on killing me. Do you honestly believe I

would want to stay?” he said dryly, as he began to walk away.
Dragging the comforter across the bed with me, I threw myself to the floor in front of him, blocking

his way. I knelt before him and begged him – something I had never done before in my entire life.
“Edward, I’m begging you.” I looked up at him, pleading with my tear-filled eyes, as the comforter

fell away from my shoulders.
His emotionless expression softened for a second, before hardening once more. “Bella, this is over.

We're done,” he said brusquely as he stepped around me.
I heard a door shut.
Edward had left me – alone and naked on the floor.
Edward was gone.

*****************************************

November 27, Saturday:
I pulled on my leather jacket and stepped out onto the thirteenth-floor balcony of the downtown

Denver hotel The Project had checked me into.
We had used my real name in the hopes Victoria would get wind of my being in Denver. Aro had
flown in separately from me and was staying in a rented apartment directly across from the hotel.
The plan was to lure Victoria to the hotel, and, hopefully, Aro could get a clear shot at her from his
window, before anyone noticed. There were very few people out because of the wintry weather.

However, The Project had arranged for a team of our people to be on-hand, dressed as paramedics
and driving an ambulance, to swoop in and supposedly ‘rescue’ her if anyone did happen to see

her drop.
My job was to be as visible as possible at the hotel, so that was why I was going out onto the

balcony for about the twentieth time today.
The cold late-November mountain air whipped all around me, effectively numbing my cheeks

within minutes. I leaned against the icy steel railing of the balcony, numbing my hands as well.
I only wished my mind could be numbed in the same way as my cheeks and hands.
My mind had become a tortured mess from the moment Edward had left me.
I had slept fitfully on my bedroom floor Thursday night, having not moved from the spot where I

had begged Edward to stay.
I assumed Edward had called a taxi from his cell to take him to the airport.

As the minutes, and then hours, had passed, I had felt the physical distance between us grow.
Once I had arrived in Denver, Aro had asked me what was wrong. He immediately sensed

something was amiss.
I told my dad most of the truth. I told him how Jane had made me realize, without her intending

to, that Edward and I could never move forward without him knowing what my true intentions had
been in going to Forks. I then told him how, upon finding out the whole truth, Edward had left me.
Aro seemed to be more concerned about Edward keeping his mouth shut about everything I had
told him, than in me being okay. He had asked, “You do realize you’ve put Mr. Cullen in grave

danger by confiding in him?”
“He won’t say anything,” I had said quietly in response.
And I believed that to be true. No matter how much he hated me now, I was certain he wouldn’t
tell any of our secrets to anyone. It just wasn’t in his nature.

Even with Alice. I imagined he would just tell her that we decided to break up.
Based on his past dating history, nobody would be surprised or inclined to delve any deeper.
Aro had simply said, “I certainly hope you are correct about that, Bella. For his sake.”
Standing on the balcony, I thought about how foolish I’d been to think, even if only for a brief

moment, that Edward would be able to accept the truth regarding my mission in Forks.
Jane had been right.
And so had I.
All those times I had imagined what reaction Edward would have if he were to ever find out the

whole truth. The worst part was that I couldn’t even blame him in any way for destroying my heart.
It had been all my own doing. It had been my secrets and lies that had destroyed our relationship.
I only had myself to blame.
The only good thing that had come out of it – if one could even call it a good thing – was that I now

relished the idea of being the bait to lure Victoria.
I half-wanted her to find me and put me out of my misery before Aro killed her.
I had thought the pain of losing Jacob was bad. I was sorely mistaken. There were no words to even

describe the pain I was feeling at losing Edward. My only solace was that I believed I deserved the
pain for having hurt him with my deceptions.
Suddenly, my work cell buzzed in my pocket. “Yeah?” I said as I answered the call from my dad.
Aro sighed before he said laconically, “Bella, pack your things. I just got word that Victoria has

eluded us once more. She is no longer in Denver – or in the US. We will be leaving in an hour. Be
ready to go.”
Fuck. This Victoria really was a master at evasion. If she hadn’t been a former agent, she would
never have those kinds of skills. That is what made her especially dangerous.
I was disappointed that she was still out there. But, if she was out of the country again, I really had
nothing to worry about … for now.
I packed the few items I had brought and met Aro outside the entrance to the hotel. We both got
into the back of the agency-provided limo.
Aro handed me the itinerary for my return flight to Seattle. Aro was to fly back to Los Angeles.
We’d be leaving from separate terminals.
My heart clenched at the thought of going back to Forks … alone.
Aro and I engaged in meaningless banter on the drive to the airport. But, before the driver stopped

at the terminal where my flight was to depart, Aro gave me a genuine hug in a very rare show of
affection.
It had been the second time in less than a month that he had hugged me. It had to be a new
record, I thought sardonically.
“Bella, I will let you know when we hear anything more.” He patted my back, and I nodded against
his shoulder to let him know I had heard him.
I exited the limo and braced myself to go back to Forks.
Classes were to resume on Monday, just two days away.
And I would have to face Edward Cullen.
But not as his girlfriend anymore.
Not as his lover.
Not even as his friend.
I missed him already.
I knew in the core of my fractured heart, the pain of losing Edward would never stop.

Chapter 15: What Went Wrong

EPOV
November 28, Sunday:
I woke up way too fucking early for a Sunday morning. Especially after having consumed entirely

too much alcohol last night … and the night before last.

For the past three nights, I’d had trouble sleeping.
When I did sleep, I dreamed of Bella. The rest of the time I tossed and turned … and thought of
Bella.
That was why I had decided that drinking heavily was in order for the past two nights.
However, last night, even after consuming several beers and most of a bottle of scotch whiskey –

Glenfiddich, of course – I still hadn’t been able to shut down my fucking mind.
My mind was fucking tormented by images of Bella.
I kept replaying the events that had occurred over and over in my head.
Everything had started out so ideally. I had never felt more in love with Bella than in those first 24

hours or so following our arrival in Los Angeles. Flashes of Bella and myself standing on the patio of
her beautiful Malibu home overlooking the Pacific, driving her Gullwing back after our illicit

escapade in the club, and waking up with Bella on Thanksgiving morning tore at my sanity,
torturing me with how perfect everything had seemingly been.
Even that fucking awkwardness I had felt when we first arrived at her parents' home for
Thanksgiving dinner had mostly worn off by the time after-dinner coffee was being served.
I was actually getting along with her kind-of-fucking-scary dad when she had returned to the
dining room and hastily informed me it was time to leave.
The look in her eyes, like she had been crying, told me something was so very fucking wrong.
That moment marked the beginning of the downward fucking spiral.
I just couldn’t get past the fact that Bella – my Bella – had come to Forks to forge some kind of
false friendship with me, so that she could gather information about what happened to that Jacob-

secret-fucking-agent friend of hers.
The one she just happened to have been fucking back at the time. It made my blood boil to even

picture that image in my brain.
But the most fucked up part of it all was that she – my Bella – had planned to fucking take my life if

I had been ‘involved,’ as she so eloquently put it.
How fucked up was that?
I reached over and picked up the empty whiskey bottle, heaving it across the fucking room with all
the force of my strength and anger.
The sound of shattering glass and plaster cracking filled my ears as the bottle crashed against the
wall and shards of broken glass rained down upon my bedroom floor.
Since I had the blinds tightly drawn, and it was still so early in the morning, I turned on the lamp
next to my bed to see what kind of damage I had done.
I winced, even though the light was dim. My head hurt like fuck, but nothing could compare to the
aching I felt in my heart.
As my eyes adjusted, I surveyed my bedroom. Unlike the usual tidiness I maintained, it looked
more like a fucking hurricane had blown through my room.
And one kind of fucking did – me.
Everything was in complete disarray. My open suitcase was still on the floor from where I had

dropped it late Thursday night, after returning from LA. Clothes – some dirty, some clean – were
strewn about my bedroom. Assorted items were knocked over.

Or had I thrown them? I couldn’t recall.
One item that caught my attention was a photograph of me and Bella that Alice had taken and had
framed for me. She had snapped that picture during lunch one afternoon a couple of weeks ago,

when we were all seated at a lunch table in the college cafeteria.
It had been part of a project she’d been working on for one of her art classes.
The picture was in black and white. It was a simple shot of me and Bella looking at one another.
But so much more was visible in that photo. Anyone with eyes could fucking see just how in love

we were. I remembered one of us had just responded to some smart-ass comment the other had
made in typical Cullen-Swan repartee. We had been laughing and our eyes had met. Somehow,

Alice managed to capture that moment on film.
I had loved that picture, but now it fucking mocked me.
I was sadly learning that you couldn’t just un-love somebody you clearly loved.
You could try to drink the memories away, but they always came back to you. Usually, with more

vengeance than before, once you sobered up.You could throw stuff and smash things, but that only
offered a brief respite from the agony.
I had refused to talk to anyone since my return – effectively holing up in my house like a fucking
recluse. But, that wasn’t helping either.
I’d barely eaten.
I’d barely slept.
I was half-tempted to call Emmett to see if there was somebody he could contact to get a hold of
some recreational drugs for me to take. But, I knew that would only numb my mind temporarily as

well.
There was abso-fucking-lutely nothing that could help me repress my feelings for Bella.
I wanted to fucking hate Bella.
But I knew in my heart, I still loved her. I still wanted to be with her in every way. I still wanted to

protect her and be near her.
How fucked up was it that I could still be so in love with a girl who had actually contemplated

killing me?
But she didn’t do it, my mind screamed back at me.
She said she wouldn’t have been able to, even if I had been the one that killed her precious Jacob.
I was so fucking jealous as well. Jealous that Bella had cared about someone, other than me,

enough to want to actually become something she said she never wanted to be – an assassin.
I think that was the part bothering me the most.
Because, in my heart of fucking hearts, I knew Bella would never have been able to actually kill me.
At least not physically. She was doing a damn good job of it on the emotional-level though.
I didn’t know if I really wanted to be alive in a world without Bella in it. Because a life devoid of
Bella would really be no life at all.
But I knew I also needed some time. I was still too angry to think rationally about her.
My leaving her the way I did had been fucking cruel. I had proven I couldn’t talk to her … yet.

It had also proven that I could still be the dick I once was, even though Bella had made me want to

be a better man. I still had a ways to fucking go.
The image of her kneeling before me – fucking begging me not to leave her – was now ripping my

heart out.
I couldn’t ever really not be with Bella. I still loved her. I would always love her.

My heart belonged to her. When I had told her I would never leave her, I had meant it.
I just didn’t know where to go from here.
My cell phone vibrated, and for a brief second, I wished for it to be Bella. Bella had not tried to
contact me in any way. Not that I expected her to.
She had that job to attend to in who-the-fuck-knows where, and I had made it pretty fucking clear
we were done. Bella wasn’t the kind of girl to run after me. I would have to be the one to make the

first move.
I checked the display and saw that it was Alice … again. I knew she was just worried about me, but

could she give it a fucking rest? I hit ‘ignore’ and let it go to voicemail.
I reluctantly got out of bed and immediately had to steady myself, since I was still a little drunk and

a lot hung-over.
I stepped over the broken glass and stumbled into my adjoining bathroom. I flicked the light on.

Some of Bella’s things were in here – her shampoo, toothbrush, a hairbrush, and some other girl
shit. I averted my gaze, since I couldn’t stand to look at her things. It was just too painful.
I didn’t want to throw anything away, though. That would be too fucking final. So, I just ignored all
her stuff as I stepped into the shower, remembering that I hadn’t showered or shaved once since

returning from California.
I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit the reason why was that I didn’t wanted to wash Bella off of

my body.
But I had to make a fresh start.
The steaming, hot water soothed my head and body. For some crazy, fucked up reason, I thought
about how I had never had the chance to fulfill another one of my perverted little fantasies –

fucking Bella in my shower.
An image of Bella bent over in front of me, with the water cascading down her back, was making

me hard. Apparently, my fucking traitor-cock hadn’t gotten the memo that Bella and I were over
and done. Great – I had a fucking traitor heart and a fucking traitor cock.
I closed my eyes and ran my hand over the head and down the shaft of my cock, but I didn’t have
the heart to jack off.
It would only make me think of Bella.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
In frustration, I punched the tile wall and cringed as a searing pain radiated through my clenched
fist.
I felt a lump rise in my throat and the threat of fucking tears, so I fucking punched the tile wall
once again. I was not about to cry like a fucking pussy.
My physical pain successfully muted my emotional anguish, at least for the moment.
My knuckles were already starting to swell and turn a nasty shade of purplish-black. They had

healed from my round with Newton, and now they were fucked up once again.
Only this time, Bella wasn’t here to look at my hand to see if it was going to be okay.
I leaned my forehead against the cool tiles of the shower wall until the water running down my

back turned cold as well.
I had to make a decision. I’d see Bella tomorrow at school. Unless I didn’t go.

This was always a possibility. There were no exams or anything. A lot of students would still be out,
extending the break a little fucking longer. I’d have to give that idea some serious consideration.
I finally got out of the shower and slipped on a pair of boxer briefs, old, faded jeans and an off-
white colored Henley-style shirt.
I didn’t bother to shave. I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My eyes were bloodshot,
and I was sporting a good three-days-worth of thick stubble.
I ran my hand through my wet hair and over the scruff on my face; coarseness and softness both. A
physical manifestation of the dichotomy of being me.
I spent most of the day recovering from my hangover and pacing restlessly around the house.
I finally did speak with Alice briefly, just so she wouldn’t end up driving out to the house and

actually seeing what a fucking mess I really was.
She knew about what had happened – albeit a much abbreviated version – because my drunk-ass

had called her in the middle of the night on Friday.
I had woken her up (and probably Jasper as well) and slurred out the words that I was done with

Bella. We were broken up. End of fucking story.
Of course, I knew Alice suspected there was far more to the story than Bella and I just suddenly

being ‘done.’ But I guess she knew it wasn’t the right time to push, because she had just listened
and accepted what I was saying with no questions asked.
The whole call had only lasted a few minutes. I sure as fuck could never tell her the full story. I
would never endanger Bella, Alice, or myself by shooting my mouth off.
As much as I was fucking hurting, I’d take my pain like a fucking man.
As nightfall set in, I couldn’t stand it any longer – I had to get the fuck out of the house.
The night was cold as hell. But it was unusually clear, especially for this part of the country. I looked
up at the sky before I got into my Range Rover. The endless number of stars that filled the night sky

made me feel even more insignificant.
I meandered along the twists and turns of the back roads much slower than usual. I didn’t even

have the energy to drive fast. The trees still went by in a blur, until I found myself driving past the
closed shops along the main street of Forks.
I knew it was a fucking stupid idea, but I wanted to drive by Bella’s house just to make sure she had
made it home safely. Before everything had gone down, I did recall her saying she was to return no

later than Sunday.
I turned onto Bella’s road, and my heart sped up.
What the fuck was I doing? What if she saw me?
I really was beyond caring if I looked like a stalker or some shit.
I told myself I was just going to drive by and see if a light was on.

Her Cayenne being there would tell me nothing, since I had been the one to drive us to the airport

last Wednesday in my vehicle. But I assumed I would be able to tell if it had been moved or not.
I stopped in front of Bella’s house. Her SUV was parked in the exact same spot, seemingly

unmoved. However, the downstairs lights were on in the house. I breathed a sigh of relief. Bella
was obviously home.
But what if Bella had them on some sort of timer? I was almost certain she didn’t, but I had to be
sure. I couldn’t just drive away and not know. Right?
As I rationalized my irrational behavior, I parked my vehicle directly in front of Bella’s house.
Maybe she’d look out? Then I would know she was okay – and I could leave.
Sure, I’d look like the crazy-fuck I obviously was, but, at least, I’d know she had made it home
safely.
But Bella didn’t look out of any of the front windows. In fact, I saw no movement whatsoever from
within the house. A closer look was probably in order, I told myself.
I got out and walked up her front steps. I faced the door and hesitated, contemplating my next
move.
After the way I had left her in LA, Bella most likely did not want to ever see my face again. Bella
was not the begging-type, but she had begged me not to leave her.
And I had left.
I had told her it was over, and I had left. I wanted to apologize and take it back now.
Maybe she was feeling the same way for not being truthful to me?
Fuck, how do you tell somebody that you had considered killing them – literally?

I could kind of understand her reluctance to share that fucking secret with me sooner.
I had been caught in between Bella’s two lives: her life as part of the fucking mystery agency she

worked for, and the life she had ended up creating with me.
For as fucked up as it all was, so much of Bella’s sometimes puzzling behavior made sense now.
I started to knock on the door with my right hand, but was quickly reminded of punching the
fucking shower wall as pain shot through my knuckles. So, I switched to my left hand instead, and

knocked.
After a moment, Bella answered the door, looking about as worn out as I felt.

She had on old, ripped jeans, a black hoodie that was mostly zipped up over a white t-shirt, and no
shoes or socks. Her hair was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail, and she had noticeable dark circles

under her red-rimmed eyes. It was obvious she’d been crying not too long ago.
Despite everything, she still looked beautiful to me.
She stared at me vacantly as she silently mouthed my name.
At first, I thought it must be because she really did hate me for having left her in LA, but then I

sensed she was putting all the blame onto herself.
“Hey,” I said stupidly, because I didn’t know what to say.
I kicked at the ground nervously with my hiking boot-clad right foot, but never looked away.
“Um, do you want to come in?” she asked meekly.
I cleared my throat. It was feeling exceptionally dry. “Yeah, okay.”

Bella opened the door further, giving me a wide berth in which to enter. I wasn’t sure if that was

for her sake or mine.
“Do you want to sit down in the living room?”
I nodded and followed her into the living room. She sat down on a chair angled next to the sofa,
just as I sat down on the sofa.
I heard her gasp slightly and looked over to see her staring at my right hand.
“Edward, what happened?” she inquired, her voice laced with genuine concern.
“I had a run-in with a wall,” I said matter-of-factly, and then added, “and the wall won.”
She seemed to be wrestling with herself over something as she chewed at her bottom lip, and then

I knew what it was when she asked me, “Do you mind if I take a look at it?”
I wanted to let her check my injuries, but that would involve her touching me. And I wasn’t ready

for that.
“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Bella,” I mumbled.
“Why are you even here, Edward?” She was trying to sound tough now, but her quivering voice
betrayed her obviously hurt feelings at my refusal to let her check my hand.
I tried to explain. “Bella, I just need time. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be … touching.”
Recognition of what I was trying to say crossed her face. I didn’t mean ‘touching’ in the sexual

sense, although our touching certainly seemed to lead to that most of the time.
I had meant I didn’t think we should touch one another because it was so powerful – the energy,

the whatever-the-fuck it was – that we both felt when we touched. We both needed to discuss
things with clear heads. Not ones clouded by that crazy electricity shit.
“I’m sorry-- I just... Will you promise me you’ll have it looked at?” she stammered uncomfortably.
“I will,” I promised.
A tense silence fell between us.
“I’m sorry I left you in LA,” I blurted out as I ran my fingers through my hair with my good hand.
Bella looked away and whispered, “You had every reason to leave me, Edward. You still do.” A
single tear ran down her cheek.
“I made you a promise, Bella. I told you I would never leave you, and I meant it,” I said, looking to
her for understanding. “That’s why I’m here.”
Her eyes met mine, and I could see the guilt in them. I didn’t want her to feel guilty anymore.
I realized in that moment, I had already forgiven her.
"I love you, Bella. Don’t you fucking get it?”
“How?” she whispered, “After what you now know. How could you still love me?”
I looked into her eyes meaningfully, willing her to believe my words. “I don’t know how not to love
you, Bella.”
She put her face in her hands and wiped at her eyes. “I love you, Edward. I don’t know if you can
trust what I say anymore, but I was always truthful about that. I always meant it when I said it, and

I mean it now – I love you. I always will. And, I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry,” she said in a voice full
of raw honesty, her eyes meeting mine again.

I wanted nothing more than to go to her and hold her. But, my mind and my heart were warring

with one another. My mind told me to hold my ground and stay seated. It was too soon to be
holding Bella. Too soon to be touching Bella, even if only to comfort her … and myself. But my

heart was telling me – fuck it. Go to her.
My heart won.
Standing up and walking over to her chair was a blur. I found myself kneeling before her this time,
my hands on her knees.
“I forgive you, Bella. Maybe that makes me the world’s biggest fucking ass, but I don’t care. I love
you and I forgive you,” I said earnestly.
Bella’s brow furrowed in an agonized way, and then she closed her eyes and choked back a sob.
She put her hands over my own, still resting on her knees. She was careful to only lightly touch my

injured hand. I winced, but not because of any pain from my injury. I winced from the realization
that, even after only three days, I had been in a state of withdrawal from the intensity of our

touches.
Those calming and soothing feelings washed over me, as did the intensely sexual nature of our

touches as well. As difficult as it was, I tried to focus only on the calm and soothing ones.
Bella slid down languorously from the chair and into my lap as I sat back. I wrapped my arms

around her protectively as she nestled against my chest. I caressed her back lightly, but not in any
type of a sexual way, despite my feelings of arousal.
I did need time. And so would she.
Bella and I were going to have to start our relationship anew, if we were to have any kind of a

future together.
A new future and a fresh start, built on honesty and trust.
“I love you, Edward,” Bella mumbled against my chest.
“I love you, too, Bella,” I replied as I leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

Chapter 16: A Second Chance

BPOV
November 28, Sunday: (continued…)
Sitting in Edward’s lap, I nestled myself as close as I possibly could to his firm chest, replaying

Edward’s words in my mind.
He had forgiven me.
Even though he had physically left me in Los Angeles, his heart had never really stopped loving me.
He had remained true to his word, after all.
“I love you, Edward,” I mumbled against the firmness of his chest.
“I love you too, Bella,” he replied as his lips barely grazed the top of my head.
Thankfully, no more tears fell.
I wondered if a person could truly run out of tears. I had certainly cried more than my fair share

since Thursday afternoon.

It was obvious we still needed to talk about a lot of things, but I wanted to savor the moment of

Edward holding me for just a little bit longer.
I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent I had missed so desperately in just three unendurably

long days. Edward smelled like his usual delicious self -- cinnamon, leather, and pure masculinity. I
felt a familiar ache, but I knew now was not the time to even be thinking of those things.
I pulled away from Edward slightly in an effort to clear my thoughts, and in preparation to talk.
Really talk.
I glanced up at Edward to find him looking down at me. His emerald eyes as beautiful and piercing
as ever.
“I don’t deserve you,” I stated simply and honestly, while holding his gaze.
“Don’t say that, Bella,” Edward admonished.
“But, it’s true. I’ve made so many mistakes. I don’t know—“
Edward interrupted before I could continue. “Bella, we can’t keep dwelling on the past. We have to

move forward.”
He was right. I steeled myself to ask the question I feared asking. “Edward, are you really giving me

a second chance?”
He hesitated before answering, and I feared that he would say no. People could love one another,

but still choose to not stay together.
I didn’t really deserve a second chance. But I was too selfish not to ask for one.
I exhaled slowly as Edward began to speak. Unknowingly, I’d been holding my breath in
anticipation of his response.
“Bella, I want to be with you,” he started and then paused as if he were choosing his words very
carefully. “But, I want to start over with you. I want to start over … the right way.”
I knew he meant he wanted to start over with no more lies, no more secrets, and no more false
pretenses. I had no argument with that logic, I wanted the same thing. The deceptions had left us

weary in their wake.
“So, you want to start over from scratch,” I asked, smiling.
Edward smiled back at me and nodded in the affirmative, and my heart swelled.
His eyes darkened slightly and his voice took on a gravely serious tone. “My only condition is no

more secrets, Bella. What have you not told me? You are going to have to come clean with me
about everything.”
“But … but, I don’t want to tell you anything that could put you in danger, Edward.” I scrambled,
still torn between my allegiance to the agency and my love for Edward. “There are some things I’ve

been specifically ordered not to tell you,” I admitted.
Edward pushed me off of his lap, albeit gently, and moved back up to sit on the sofa, again. He ran

his fingers through his hair and put his face into his hands, sighing in apparent exasperation.
“Bella, this isn’t going to work unless you tell me everything. I’m quite certain I am already in

fucking danger as it is,” he said angrily as he raised his head to look at me, his eyes full of irritation.
“Besides, if you tell me what I don’t already know, I’ll tell you my secret as well,” he added

cryptically, his gaze softening.
I was instantly intrigued. What secret could Edward be keeping from me?

I also knew Edward had a valid point. He did already know more than enough to be in danger from

The Project. Even Aro had been quite clear on that point.
Although, as long as he kept quiet about what he knew -- he would be safe.
And, he had been more than discreet with all I had already shared with him.
Edward was right. There was no way to start over without being completely truthful and honest.
I made a decision at that moment: my first allegiance would now be to Edward.
I took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. My heart raced in my chest. It wasn’t easy to directly

defy Jane’s order to keep silent about the Victoria situation. It was an ongoing mission that
belonged primarily to Aro, although it obviously involved me greatly.
I started slowly. “Well, you already know most everything….” I kept my eyes averted.
“Bella,” Edward said warningly.
I glanced up at him through my lashes from my seat on the floor. He met my gaze.
I continued, unable to tear my eyes away from his. “Do you remember when my dad came up here

unannounced?”
“Of course.”
“There was more to that visit, Edward.” I paused.
He stared into my eyes poignantly, waiting.
“My dad was here to inform me that James had been a rogue agent.” I took a deep breath before
continuing, “And, he wasn’t working alone. He was working with another rogue agent. A woman by

the name of Victoria.”
Edward looked stunned. And I was only just beginning.
“Fuck….” He was apparently rendered fairly speechless as well.
“As I’m sure you’ve already figured out, James was killed.” I cringed. Not because of the fact that

James was dead, but because it brought to the forefront the subject of one being an assassin.
Something I had almost become -- with Edward as my target.
Edward’s eyes did not waver as he asked me the question I had refused to answer a couple of
weeks earlier. “Did your father kill James?”
“Yes,” I answered.
Edward swallowed hard.
Assuming and knowing were two very different things. Edward had assumed Aro had killed James,
now he knew it to be true.
“So, your dad is an assassin?” he whispered.
“Yes.”
Edward looked away from me, but then he seemed to compose himself.
“Did he … kill … this Victoria, as well?”
I sighed. “That’s where it gets complicated, Edward. She’s still out there. She is very tricky, because
she’s agency-trained. She knows how to hide and when to move on….” My voice trailed off.
Edward must have realized we were getting to the heart of the matter.

“And that’s why your dad was here? Just to tell you this in person?” he asked skeptically.
I just blurted it out. “No. He was here because Victoria had been here looking for me.”
Realization dawned on Edward. “Holy fuck, Bella. Is she after you? Why?”
“Because Aro killed James. James was Victoria’s lover, as well as a fellow rogue agent. She wants to
avenge his death by hurting Aro. And the only way to hurt Aro is by either killing Jane … or me.”
Edward moved swiftly back down to the floor, pulling me into his arms. He held onto me tightly.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Bella. She’ll have to get through me to get to you,” he said

with absolution.
I didn’t doubt his sincerity. But as capable as Edward was of taking care of himself and protecting

others, I didn’t think he would come out on the winning side against the likes of Victoria. Hell, she
had already eluded not only my dad, but the agency itself. She was extremely dangerous.
If anything, I would, most likely, be the one to end up protecting Edward from her. Not the other
way around.
“She’s very dangerous, Edward. We almost had her in Denver, but she got away, again,” I said
quietly as I pulled away so I could see his reaction.
Edward’s eyes widened, and then quickly narrowed angrily, as he realized I had been in Denver --
that close to Victoria -- just within the last couple of days. Now, he knew the nature of the mission I

had been on.
The green of his eyes darkened to almost black.
I hurriedly wrapped my arms around him, knowing that our physical contact was the only thing
that would calm him down. He trembled with fury beneath my arms. I pushed my fingers into his

hair and placed my cheek against his. His stubble scratched lightly against my skin as he slowly
moved his cheek along mine. He seemed to be soothed somewhat; at least the trembling had

stopped.
He moved his hands into my hair, loosening it from the hair tie that held my messy ponytail in

place. My hair cascaded down onto my shoulders. He then pulled me up onto his lap again, only
this time he positioned my legs around his waist so that I was astride him.
His mouth was close to my ear, and I felt and heard his hot breaths quicken. He tightened his grip
in my now-loose hair and ground himself up against me, just once. He was hard as fuck, and I

couldn’t stop myself from groaning into his ear. He loosened his grip on my hair and moved his
hands down to my hips. I grazed my lips along the stubble on his cheek, savoring the abrasiveness

of it against my lips. I started to move my hips, seeking his hardness.
Before my lips could reach his, I felt his fingers dig into my hips, effectively stopping my

movements. He pulled his face away swiftly. I looked at him – confused. He looked back at me
apologetically.
“Bella,” he sighed as he removed me from his lap with ease. He ran his fingers through his hair, and
I noticed his injured hand was looking worse than before.
“I’m sorry, Bella. I shouldn’t have done that….” He trailed off nervously.
“I was okay with it, Edward,” I admitted, feeling a little bit dejected.
“Uh – I just think we should wait a little bit, before we … you know, jump back into …” he said,
motioning to the both of us.

I understood. And he was probably right. We were supposed to be starting over, not just picking up

where we left off. For as much as I wanted Edward at this very moment, I knew it would be best to
wait. As stubborn as I could be, I was willing to bend on this one. I would let him control the pace

at which we resumed our sexual activities.
The silence that fell between us was awkward in our already tenuous situation, so I offered to get

us each a glass of water. It would give us a chance to regroup, not to mention cool off.
I went into the kitchen, while Edward remained in the living room, resuming his spot on the sofa.
After I placed a couple of ice cubes into each of our glasses and filled them with water, I grabbed
the ice pack that I kept in the freezer and wrapped a dish towel around it.
Edward looked much more relaxed when I returned to the living room. He smiled a somewhat
embarrassed crooked smile as I handed him his glass of water.
“Here’s an ice pack for your hand,” I said, handing him the towel-wrapped pack, as well.
“Thanks,” he said softly as he carefully placed the ice pack on his swollen hand.
He winced in obvious discomfort. “Do you think maybe you could take a look at it, after all?” he
asked as he moved the ice pack aside.
“Of course,” I said as I took a place next to him on the sofa.
I began to examine his hand. It was definitely in worse shape than when he had beaten up

Newton.
“Jesus, Edward, which wall did you hit?”
“The shower wall,” he said quietly.
His cheeks reddened inexplicably. I didn’t question any further, and he didn’t elaborate.
As I found myself once again thoroughly examining Edward’s hand, I was grateful it didn’t appear
to be broken. His hands were remarkably durable, and, obviously, able to withstand a lot of abuse.
“You’re really lucky it’s not broken, Edward.” I mused aloud as I finished checking his hand.
“No more getting into fights with walls, okay?” I added in an effort to lighten the mood.
I handed him the ice pack, and he placed it on his hand once more.
“So, you were in Denver with Aro?” Edward inquired tentatively, thus resuming our earlier

discussion and ending any further talk of his injuries.
“I was,” I answered.
“Aro was there to…,” Edward paused, took a deep, shaky breath, and continued, “… to assassinate
Victoria?”
“Yes,” I said quietly.
“But Victoria got away,” he stated, more to himself than to me. “Where is she now? Do they

know?” he asked.
“She left the country. They haven’t told me anything else,” I answered truthfully.
“Who are they, Bella? Does this agency you work for have a name?” Edward sounded mildly
irritated.
“It’s technically called The Castleforte Project. But, we agents just call it: The Project. I work for The
Project.”

Edward just nodded. He appeared to be lost in thought.
“This Victoria will come here again to look for you, won’t she?” he asked quietly, staring at the ice
pack on his hand.
I watched as Edward shifted the ice pack slightly. I didn’t answer immediately.
The consequences of Victoria coming to this area would take on another level of danger with

Edward knowing. Edward had already expressed his willingness to try to protect me from her. Now,
I’d have to worry about Edward trying to protect me and, unwittingly, getting himself hurt.
Edward spoke again, this time with more urgency, “Bella, answer my question.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
Edward leaned his head back against the sofa and sighed. He closed his eyes and didn’t say a word
for several minutes.
The room was quiet.
Finally, Edward broke the silence with another loud sigh. He raked his uninjured hand through his

hair. He opened his eyes and looked at me meaningfully. “Like I said earlier, I have a secret of my
own, Bella.” He paused and appeared to be gauging my reaction.
I just stared at him questioningly. I still couldn’t imagine what his secret could be. Knowing his
former reputation, my mind immediately conjured up images of him having called one of the many

girls who lusted after him while I was in Denver.
I knew it was probably fueled by irrational jealousy, but I timidly asked, “Did you cheat on me?”
Although, it wouldn’t have technically been ‘cheating’ since we’d been broken up, I reminded
myself.
Edward rolled his eyes at me. “Have you not heard a fucking word I’ve said tonight? I love you,
Bella. I have no desire to fuck anyone else,” he said, sounding more than annoyed with my inane

question.
I cast my eyes down; embarrassed I had even asked such a ridiculous question. After everything we

had been through … and were still going through.
“I guess I can be a jealous fuck, too,” I mumbled, echoing Edward’s words from the night we had

spent in the meadow.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m kind of flattered you get as jealous as I do," he said tenderly as he lifted my chin

to look at him.
He smiled a crooked smile at me and caressed my cheek lovingly.
“Let me just show you my secret.” Edward got up, kind of excitedly, and walked out of the living
room. “I’ll be right back,” he yelled from the hall, before I heard the front door open and close.
Show me his secret? Now, I was really curious at to what this secret could be.
Edward returned quickly and looked rather pleased with himself. I was getting the impression his

secret must not be anything like what my secrets had been. He seemed to be more than excited to
be able to share his secret with me.
Edward sat back down on the sofa next to me. “Remember when I told you about my dad teaching
me how to shoot a few years ago?”
“Yeah,” I said tentatively, still not sure where this was heading.

“Well, I wasn’t going to tell you, but in light of … uh … recent developments, it’s probably better if

you know.”
“Know what?” I questioned hesitantly.
My eyes widened as Edward pulled out a Beretta 96 from the waistband at the back of his jeans. I
hadn’t felt it when we’d had our arms around each other earlier, so that must have been what he

had gone outside to get. He must have had his gun in his Range Rover. Wow, Edward had a gun of
his own. Why?
“I’ve been practicing at the shooting range in Port Angeles. I renewed my membership there after
you told me you were an agent.”
“Why?” I croaked out, afraid to hear the answer.
“Because, Bella, when I found out your friend, Jacob, ended up dead at only nineteen, I kind of had

the feeling your fucking job was a hell of a lot more dangerous than you wanted me to know,” he
said, obviously irritated.
When I didn’t respond, he added, “If you think I’m going to run around with you, unarmed….”
We both cringed, realizing how that sounded.
Edward’s cheeks reddened. “What I am trying to say is that I want to be able to protect you, Bella.
Now, more than ever.”
“Edward,” I whispered uncomfortably.
I certainly didn’t want Edward to take it upon himself to try and protect me. He was already in

danger by knowing everything he now knew. The idea of him attempting to protect me from
someone like Victoria made me feel positively ill.
I knew I’d rather die than lose Edward.
Thinking I may have lost him for the past three days had nearly killed me, but there was always a

glimmer of hope. However, if Edward ended up dead because of me, I really couldn’t see myself
continuing to go on.
I glanced at Edward again, and he looked pissed as hell. He glared at me furiously as he tucked the
gun back into the waistband of his jeans.
“What?” I asked innocently.
“Do you have some sort of problem with me protecting you? Or do I not have the right firearm,

Bella? Do I have to be a fucking agent to protect you?” Edward hissed, obviously referring to Jacob.
“I just don’t want to lose you, Edward,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
I was afraid of what he might say next, until he pulled me into a hug.
“I’m sorry for getting so pissed off,” he whispered into my hair. “I guess it’s my turn to be the

jealous fuck, again.”
“Edward, I love the idea that you want to protect me,” I said honestly. “But I just don’t want you to

get hurt trying to actually do it.”
Edward leaned back from me and met my gaze, amusement in his eyes.
“I think I can take better care of myself than you give me credit for, Bella.”
He had a point. He was exceptionally talented at everything he did; there was no reason to doubt

he would be equally adept with the gun. I relaxed slightly.

“Bella, I do have one more question for you. What exactly were you doing in Denver anyway? If Aro

was to be the assassin, then what was your role?” Edward raised one eyebrow questioningly.
I felt the blood drain from my face. I knew telling Edward would ensure he would never back down

from carrying his gun and trying to protect me from Victoria. Never.
“Um … I was there as….” I trailed off.
“Bella, answer my question,” he demanded.
I sighed in resignation. “Edward, I was the bait.”
Edward shook his head in disgust. “Fucking agency.”
And, for the first time in my life, I felt the depth of what it meant to be given a second chance.

Edward loved me enough to not only forgive me, but to want to protect me.
Protect me from not just Victoria, but from the agency itself.
Neither of us could have known it at that time, but, by giving me a second chance, Edward would
end up being there to, ultimately, protect me from my own self.

Chapter 17: When The Time is Right

EPOV
December 10, Friday:
If there was one thing I was learning about being in a relationship -- a real relationship, that is -- it

was that it was extremely fucking complicated. Even without secrets and lies.
Add to the mix: two stubborn people in that said relationship, with barely controllable passion for

one another.
And yeah, it was definitely a recipe for fucking volatility.
Throughout the almost two weeks of studying for, and taking, our final exams for this semester,
Bella and I had already had our fair share of minor arguments. Mostly over stupid, little things that

I couldn’t even fucking remember.
Thankfully, things were always resolved rather quickly.
It didn’t take a fucking genius to figure out that we were aggravating each other more than usual
due to an insane amount of sexual frustration on both our parts.
However, I was the root of that problem. I was holding out on Bella.
Not that I didn’t physically want her. Fuck – I fucking wanted Bella more than ever. But I was being

serious when I had told her I thought we should take things slowly for the time being, while giving
our relationship a second chance.
Of course, it was impossible for either of us to keep our hands completely to ourselves. That fact
was not just due to lust; it was also fueled by the need, on both our parts, for the comfort we

found just from touching one another.
So, since our big discussion the night we got back together, we had spent the past two weeks still

holding and kissing one another.
Bella was being patient with me.
It certainly was a weird fucking turn of events. Me, holding out on a willing partner. Especially

when the willing partner was Bella.
I knew there was probably some kind of psycho-babble bullshit that could explain my behavior.
When I really fucking delved into my fucked-up mind, I came up with the conclusion that it

probably had as much to do with my need to control things as it did with my need to start over
with Bella.
I loved Bella more than I loved anyone, but I had really felt like I was losing control of everything
when she had revealed all of her secrets to me.
After almost two weeks of processing everything she had told me, I was finally feeling like I needed
to let go of whatever fucked-up control issues I was harboring, and just let our love lead us.
Final exams were over, and we now had a whole month off from school before the next semester
was slated to begin.
Holiday plans were still up in the air. Not that I gave a fuck what we did for the holidays, as long as I
spent them with Bella.
Alice was flying down to Texas to spend the holidays with Jasper’s family, since Carlisle and Esme
would not be able to make it home for Christmas this year.
It would be the first Christmas that we weren’t all together as a family. But my parents made a
promise to come home for a couple of weeks at the beginning of the new year. They both really

wanted to meet Bella.
Yeah – I had told them all about how I felt about her.
Bella had mentioned something about her parents inviting us back down to California for
Christmas. However, I had some major mixed fucking feelings about that particular option.
For obvious reasons.
Bella was still directly defying orders by keeping me up-to-date on any news of Victoria.

Apparently, she was still on the run and nowhere to be found. In my mind, no news was fucking
good news.
I was still practicing at the shooting range and carrying my gun, though. Just in case.
I’d even managed to procure a license to carry a concealed weapon. The paperwork for that

privilege had been processed so fucking fast; I was just about sure Bella had had something to do
with it.
After her initial hesitation, Bella had finally relented on discouraging me from carrying my gun. I
think she realized, as much as I did, that it was safer for both of us to be armed.
In fact, our plan tonight was to go to the shooting range in Port Angeles.
Together. For the first time.
I was kind of excited for Bella to see what an excellent shot I was. It was going to be my chance to
show her you didn’t have to be agency-trained to be pretty fucking good.
And,I was even more excited to see Bella shoot. She had claimed to be exceptionally good. Now it
was time to see just how good she was at shooting that Glock.
My fucking cock didn’t seem to care Bella had once considered shooting me with her Glock – it still
got hard as fuck just imagining her with a gun.
Before my perverted mind could distract me any further, I checked the time and realized it was
later than I had thought.

I ran my fingers through my hair with my right hand, which was recovering quite well after my run-

in with the shower wall. I slipped my leather jacket on over my navy thermal pullover, which was
becoming noticeably tighter over my shoulders, chest, and arms.
I had been working out much harder than usual, in an effort to release some of the almost-
unbearable sexual frustration I was feeling by not allowing myself to fuck Bella. And, because it

seemed like a smart idea to be in the best physical shape possible to better protect Bella.
I’d caught Bella staring at my body more than usual, so I could only assume she must have noticed

my increased work-outs were paying off. It definitely turned me on to catch her looking at me with
that raw, fucking primal expression in her eyes, biting her lower lip all seductive-like.
Fuck – just thinking of Bella was making my dick hard again, so I grabbed my Range Rover keys and
left for Bella’s house.

********************************

Hours later, on the way back to Forks from the shooting range in Port Angeles, I drove through the

night in stunned silence. Bella sat smugly next to me. Fuck.
While I had done quite well, hitting my targets with far better accuracy than most, Bella’s shooting

abilities had truly been amazing. It was safe to say that I was in absolute awe of her level of
expertise with her Glock.
“Cullen, why are you being so quiet? Still stunned by my performance?” she teased.
I glanced over at her and smiled. “Actually, yeah. Very much so,” I admitted.
“You were quite impressive yourself,” she replied, sounding like maybe I had impressed her, as
well, with my own skills.
We neared the Forks city limits and stopped at a red traffic light. I took the opportunity to glance
over at Bella. She looked beautiful in the shadowy illumination of the Range Rover. I noticed she

had discarded her black leather jacket to the back of my vehicle. My eyes traveled over her low-cut
teal-colored shirt and down to the tight black leggings that clung to the rest of her lithe body.
Watching Bella shoot her Glock had been as much of a turn-on as I had fully expected it to be, her
body-hugging attire just adding to the overall visual.
I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to refocus my attention back to the conversation at
hand.
I licked my lips as I asked her, “Good enough to be an agent?”
I was half-joking, but Bella’s face took on a grave expression.
“Trust me, Edward, you don’t want to be an agent,” she said in such a soft voice I barely heard her.
The light changed to green, and I hit the gas.
“Relax, I was just kidding, Swan,” I said quietly, hopeful she wouldn’t detect the mild irritation in
my tone.
Her posture seemed to relax somewhat.
Hell, was it that horrific of a thought? Everybody she knew, or had known, was, or had been, an

agent. Not that I had relinquished my dream of a career in law, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to
having entertained the thought of working with Bella as part of The Project.
Bella was planning on a legit career in law as well, but her main job would always be being an
agent with The Project. Why couldn’t I do the same thing? Although, I had no clue as to how you

actually became a part of her organization. It wasn’t like they were advertising for new talent on

the fucking internet.
Being an agent was obviously extremely dangerous. But I was already in danger, just from knowing

as much as I knew about their organization.
In fact, I now knew more than anyone in the agency ever would have expected, since Bella had

been completely honest with me. She hadn’t even informed Aro about all the things she had told
me.
And I gathered that was a fucking huge deal or something.
Apparently, Bella usually told her father everything. At least, everything agency-related.
As we pulled up to her house, I parked and cut the engine.
Bella bit her bottom lip, and peered up at me through her lashes. “Are you coming in?” she asked

demurely.
I pondered Bella’s question for all of about two seconds. “Absolutely,” I said as I smiled at her

mischievously.
We entered her house and stopped in the darkened hallway, illuminated only by the moonlight

streaming in through the windows.
As I was taking off my jacket, Bella reached over and ran her hand along my chest. My cock

twitched in my jeans. Fuck.
“Working out more than usual, Cullen?” she questioned softly as she ran her hand over my right

shoulder, nudging my jacket off the rest of the way. Hell, I just let it fall to the floor.
“Yeah,” I whispered as I moved closer to her, feeling the heat emanating from her body.
We were now within inches of one another, her hands lightly resting on my shoulders. I traced the
contour of her cheek softly with my index finger, and then cupped her chin in my hand.
“Bella,” I breathed out, as I leaned my forehead against hers.
Bella took a step closer, and snaked her hands up the back of my neck and into my hair.
“Edward, I love you.”
She said it so simply, yet so sincerely.
“I love you so much, baby,” I replied as I brushed my lips slowly across her lips.
Burying my face against her neck, I inhaled the scent I had missed being so fully immersed in.

Lilacs. Bella.
I felt Bella’s fingers working through my hair. Her hands then cupped my face, edging me away

from her neck.
I pulled back just enough to look into the eyes of the woman I loved.
No more words needed to be spoken.
An understanding passed between us with just that one look. I was as certain she saw the

complete forgiveness in my eyes, as I was that I saw the pureness of her love for me in her eyes.
Whatever crazy thing we were in – we were in it together. Nothing mattered except being together.
The time was right.
Bella dropped her hands to the hem of my shirt and began to lift it up and over my head, with my

help. I peeled off her shirt, and adeptly unhooked her bra. I pulled down Bella’s leggings with her

panties in one swift motion, and slipped out of my jeans and boxers, as well.
At last, we found ourselves facing each other, naked. A pile of discarded clothing at our feet.
My lips found Bella’s lips once again.
I had every intention of carrying Bella up to her bedroom, but there was a newfound urgency

between us.
Bella’s tongue met mine, and we deepened our kisses. Our breathing quickened as I gently lowered

both of our bodies to the floor. Bella spread out beneath me on our scattered clothing.
Bella adeptly maneuvered herself so that my cock, coated in her desire for me, was half-

penetrating her. I exhaled audibly and inched further into her. She wrapped her legs around me as
she arched her back, rising up to meet me.
I ran my hands along the silkiness of the backs of her thighs and hiked her legs up higher around
my waist, penetrating her more deeply than usual, since the floor had none of the give that the

bed did. Fuck, she felt good.
Bella gasped as I began to thrust into her with abandon.
“Are you okay?” I whispered as I shifted and pulled out slightly, not wanting to hurt her.
She raised her hips, apparently seeking the deeper penetration. “Don’t stop. You feel so fucking

good. Just fuck me, Edward,” she groaned.
I pushed fully back into her, allowing my need for her to take over. How long had it been? Only two

weeks? Two weeks too long, I thought as we moved together as one.
Our bodies were covered in a sheen of fine sweat as I felt her walls clench around my cock, and I

released into her seconds later.
I shifted my weight off of Bella, moving our bodies so that I could wrap my arms around her and

hold her tightly against me. I kissed her languidly, and then pulled away just far enough to be able
to look into her eyes.
She smiled at me, her eyes alight. I smiled back as I lifted Bella gently up off the floor and carried
her up to her bed.
With our limbs intertwined under the soft covers, I fell into a deep, restful sleep.
In the early hours of the morning, I awoke with a start. I imagined I had heard a single, but forceful,

knock at Bella’s front door. In the fogginess of being only half-awake, I wondered whether it had
just been part of a dream.
Bella was still asleep, her head resting on my shoulder. I slipped out from under her. She stirred,
but only to nestle into the pillow. I pulled the blankets back up around her after I got out of the

bed.
Fuck. Where were my clothes?
Oh yeah -- at the bottom of the steps, all over the hall. I smiled at the pleasant fucking memory of
what had occurred last night inside the doorway.
I stretched, and then made my way down the steps. I found, and pulled on, my boxers and jeans
before opening the front door.
I stood in the doorway and looked out at nothing of significance. Just another dreary, foggy Forks
morning, chilled by the cold December air. None of the neighbors appeared to be up yet on this

early Saturday morning.
As I started to close the door, sure that the knock I heard must have been a dream, I noticed a
thick, manila-colored envelope lying on the top step.
I leaned down to pick it up, and I suddenly had this weird feeling someone was out there watching
me. What the fuck?
I glanced around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, the neighborhood was eerily quiet.
I grabbed the large, unmarked envelope and slammed the door shut. A shudder ran down my

spine. I ran my fingers through my hair with my unoccupied hand and laughed at myself. It wasn’t
like me to feel uneasy. Fucking weird. Maybe it had something to do with the envelope and its

contents.
I turned it over in my hands to find it was sealed. It wasn’t addressed to anyone, so who the fuck

had put it there. And why?
Just as I was deducing that it was probably some kind of fucking covert shit for Bella from The

Project, I heard her start down the steps.
“What are you doing up so early, Edward,” she asked sleepily as she reached me.
I turned towards her and held the envelope out to her. She pulled her thick bathrobe tighter as the
cold air that had snuck into her very-warm house reached her. A chill appeared to run through her,

as it had through me.
“This was on your top step,” I said, still holding the envelope out to her.
“What is this?” she asked as she took the envelope from me.
How the hell was I supposed to know?
“Something agency-related, I’m sure,” I said sarcastically under my breath.
Bella heard my comment. She rolled her eyes at me, which was fucking cute. Even though I was

certain she intended on it being condescending. I suppressed a chuckle.
“Edward, they don’t leave information in unmarked envelopes outside of an agent’s front door,”

she said exasperatedly, like my comment was the most ridiculous thing she had ever fucking heard.
Still, I couldn’t find myself to be irritated by her patronizing. I placed my hands on her shoulders

and looked into her eyes.
“Calm, Bella, calm. Let’s see what it is then,” I said quietly.
For a few seconds, she looked somewhat panicked. I was sure Bella was uneasy at the prospect of
opening the envelope in front of me, even though she had said it wasn’t agency-related. Despite

having shared all of her secrets with me, it was obviously still difficult for Bella to break her old
habits. However, I had every intention of finding out exactly what was in that envelope, agency-

related or not.
Now, I was starting to feel a little aggravated. I guess Bella saw it in my eyes, because she softened

her gaze.
“Okay, let’s open it in the kitchen,” she said very quietly.
We sat down at the kitchen table, and Bella slipped her finger under a small opening in the flap of
the envelope and tore it open.
She pulled out a stack of papers, which appeared to be yellowed with age and half-destroyed.
Most were burned around the edges, as if someone had saved them from being completely

destroyed by fire. A burnt, yet musty, smell emanated from the tattered pages.
Bella’s brow knitted in confusion as she looked up at me. “I have no idea what all of this is,
Edward,” she said as she ran her fingers over a single bright white page on the top of the pile. It

was blank, and the only page that appeared to be new and undamaged.
She turned it over to find a neatly-typed note on the other side.
We read it silently together:

Bella,
Everything you’ve been told is a lie.
Look at these files.
I don’t want to hurt you. I want to HELP you.
Don’t tell your father about this correspondence, or I will be forced to alter my plan to help

you.
I’ll be in touch soon.
Victoria

We looked at each other. Fuck. Victoria had been here – right outside Bella’s front door. Or she’d

had someone put the envelope on the doorstep.
Either way, it wasn’t good.
Victoria wanted to ‘help’ Bella? I almost scoffed aloud at the idea. In my mind, regardless of what
information was contained within the pile of old, half-destroyed papers, this was obviously a

fucking trick. Victoria had been unsuccessful in reaching Bella directly, because all of us had been
on the look-out for her and her next move.
“It’s obviously a trick, Bella,” I stated without reservation.
Bella had begun to peruse the old files, and her face turned an ashen shade.
“I don’t know, Edward. Maybe not…” She trailed off.
What? How in the fuck could she even entertain such a crazy thought? What would make her ever

trust anything from Victoria? Fuck, the woman had been working alongside James.
James – the man who fucking killed her best friend … boyfriend … whatever, in cold blood.
“Here. Look,” she stated in a clipped voice as she pushed the aged papers across the table towards
me.
I paged through what appeared to be old files. It was hard to discern their contents, because they
were so badly damaged. Several pages contained photos and data regarding her biological parents,

Charlie and Renée Swan.
Holy Fuck.
According to these documents, they had both once been agents for The Project, as well.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the compelling information in front of me.
Bella’s parents had, according to these documents, been murdered. The car accident had been no
accident after all, according to the files.
Most every page was stamped ‘CLASSIFIED.’
How the fuck had Victoria gotten a hold of these? More importantly, was any of the information

they contained true?
The most damning page was the final one. It was an ‘agency directive’ file. I only knew that
because it was typed in bold print across the top of the file, which was still perfectly intact. The

directive was to kill both Charlie and Renée Swan … and to make it look like an accident in the
desert.
I read further.
Collateral damage was not acceptable. The daughter, Bella Swan, was to be expedited to a hospital

as soon as possible. Arrangements would be made for her to be adopted by Charlie’s distant
cousin, another agent. But not just any agent. The Director of US-based Operations, Aro, was to

adopt Bella.
So, Aro really was related to her. I gathered that part was true.
I scanned down the page to see who had ‘signed off’ on such a horrific order.
The signature read: Aro Volturi
I was sure my mouth hung open in disbelief as I looked back up at Bella. There were tears in her
eyes. But before I could comfort her, she jumped up and ran out of the kitchen.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” she sobbed as she ran towards the stairs.
I looked down at the papers in my hand, anger bubbling beneath my calm surface. What kind of

hell had Victoria brought upon Bella now? Was this information to be trusted?
I wasn’t particularly fond of Aro, but was he really capable of this level of treachery?
I read the ‘directive’ page again.
Something seemed fucking off with the whole thing. Why was the most damning page in almost-

perfect condition? It had what appeared to be minimal water damage, but that could have easily
been done intentionally to give the document the appearance of agedness.
The analytic part of my mind was in fucking overdrive.
I went back to the files on the Swans. Those appeared to be authentic. A lot of the information

contained in those pages had been blacked out: lists of missions they had worked on, together and
separately.
Fuck.
My final conclusion was that Bella’s biological parents had really been agents of The Project. That

would make sense as to why Aro and Jane had adopted her. In addition to the fact that Aro really
was Charlie Swan’s distant relative.
But my mind was convinced the directive which implicated Aro was a forgery of some sort.
Surely, a trick of Victoria’s to mix in truth with lies in order to confuse Bella, and, ultimately, gain

some level of her trust.
No wonder Victoria had written not to inform Aro of the package and its contents.
My mind was reeling, so I couldn’t even fathom how Bella was feeling.
I heard the upstairs bathroom door slam shut. I ran up the stairs to go to Bella. I could hear the

water running, but I found the door to the bathroom locked.
“Bella, let me in,” I said firmly as I continued to turn the doorknob.
I heard a choked sob and movement from the other side of the door before I tried the door again.

It was now unlocked.
I entered and found Bella sitting on the floor, her back against the side of the porcelain tub. She
had her face hidden in her hands, and she was crying.
I knelt down beside her and wrapped my arms around her. She clung to me, and I felt her warm
tears fall upon my bare chest.
“I’m so sorry, Bella,” I whispered against her neck as I held her tightly.
“Edward?” she said in a half-choked whisper.
“What, baby?”
She looked up at me, her eyes red from so many tears. “Do you think it’s true? Would Aro do

that?”
Sobs wracked her body again as she fell limply back against my chest.
I caressed her back through the nubby material of her bathrobe. “I don’t think so, Bella. I really
don’t.”
Her sobbing subsided slightly as she looked back up at me questioningly, biting her lip in obvious
confusion.
“What do you mean?”
I took a deep breathe and began to explain my theory. “Bella, don’t you think it’s odd that the only

page that’s in near-perfect condition is the one implicating Aro?”
Bella appeared to think it over before replying. “But, Edward, why wouldn’t Aro have told me my

real parents had been agents? Why would he keep that a secret?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
Bella looked at me meaningfully. “I’m not going to say anything to Aro about the envelope,” she
whispered as she cast her eyes downward.
Concern that Bella was playing right into Victoria’s hands overtook me.
“Bella, I think you should tell your dad. You need to know the truth about your parents. They may

have been agents, but I don’t think Aro had them killed. I really don’t.” I added, “In any case, Aro
needs to know Victoria has been in contact with you.”
I couldn’t fucking believe I was defending Aro, of all people, to Bella. But this situation warranted
such drastic measures.
Bella stared at me in disbelief. “How can you sound so sure? Aro is capable of things that would
leave you in shock, Edward,” she scoffed.
“I’m sure you are right, Bella,” I said quietly. “But I would trust Aro before I would trust Victoria.”
Bella looked at me with hesitation, before she firmly stated, “I’m going to meet with Victoria if she

contacts me.”
Now I was pissed. “The fuck you are, Bella,” I warned.
Bella pulled away from me and stood up, crossing her arms across her chest defiantly.
“Edward, I don’t take orders from you.” Her voice sounded cold and full of ire. “In fact, starting

right now, I don’t take orders from anyone.”
“What about from The Project?” I asked, my eyebrows rising questioningly.

“Fuck them,” Bella said icily as she leaned back against the bathroom sink.
I rose from my seated position and stood directly in front of Bella. I could see the resolve in Bella’s
eyes. There would be no reasoning with her at this point in time. I couldn’t expect her to think

rationally. She had been overloaded with too much information this morning.
Not to mention, all the stress we had been through – all because of fucking agency secrets.
No, I couldn’t expect her to think clearly. But I certainly could think clearly for the both of us.
I could start right now.
I pinned Bella against the sink with my body and lifted her chin, so that she had no choice but to
look at me.
“Bella,” I stated warningly, “I don’t give a fuck what you choose to tell, or not tell, your father. But,
you had better not do anything stupid. You are going to tell me if you hear anything else from

Victoria. You got that?”
Bella blinked a few times. I was sure she was surprised at my tone, but she nodded in assent.

“Okay, I will.”
“Promise me, Bella?”
“Yes, I promise,” she said softly as she quickly averted her eyes.
“Can I just be alone for a few minutes, Edward? I’m going to take a shower. I need to clear my

head.”
“Of course,” I said as I kissed her lips lightly.
I left her alone and stood outside the bathroom door until I heard the shower water running.
I felt kind of fucking bad for pressuring her to promise to tell me if she heard anything from

Victoria. But I knew it was necessary.
There were going to be a lot of unpleasant necessities if I was going to successfully keep Bella safe.

That much was obvious to me. I was going to have to start keeping some secrets of my own. As
much as I hated to have to fucking do it, I knew what I had to do next -- before Bella was out of the

shower.
I went into Bella’s bedroom and reached for her purse. I listened to make sure the water was still

running. It was. I reached into Bella’s purse and pulled out her ‘work’ cell phone, the black one
which had cut short our first morning together. It was already turned on, so I scrolled through the

contacts, feeling like a total deceptive dick.
I reminded myself that I was doing this to protect Bella.
All of the contacts in her ‘work’ cell phone were identified with single letters only, no actual
names. The first one was: a. The corresponding number started with an area code for Los Angeles.
It had to be Aro’s.
I pulled out my own cell phone from the pocket of my jeans and typed the number in, also using

the letter ‘a’ to designate this particular contact. I then placed her phone back in her purse – next
to her Glock.
I went back downstairs to the pile of our clothes, still strewn across the hallway floor. I pulled my
thermal shirt over my head and threw on my jacket and hiking boots, before heading out to my

Range Rover. I slipped into the driver’s side and held my cell in my hand; scrolling to the number I
had just entered moments ago.

Was I really going to do this?
I fucking hoped I was correct in my conclusions on the information contained in the files from the
envelope.
If I was wrong, Bella and I would probably end up dead.
But, all logic aside, I had a strong suspicion I was absolutely right. Victoria knew exactly what would

cloud Bella’s judgment -- mixing fact with fiction. She had somehow come upon the information
regarding Bella’s real parents and was using it to blindside Bella.
But the other document was just too convenient. A ruse to trick Bella.
The most frightening aspect was that it appeared to be working just as Victoria had surely planned.
Bella doubted. But I did not. Aro had not ordered the deaths of Bella’s real parents. I believed it
truly had been a terrible accident.
Victoria was the one who meant Bella harm, not Aro.
I silently prayed I was right as I hit the ‘send’ button.
On the second ring, Aro answered with, “Mr. Cullen?”
My momentary shock was replaced immediately with slight irritation. Of course, he would know

my cell phone number. The fucking Project seemed to know everything about me.
“Uh…. Hello, Mr. Volturi.” I struggled to keep my voice calm, as my heart pounded in my chest.
There was a long pause on the other end.
“Mr. Cullen, is there a specific reason why you are contacting me on my private line,” he said coolly,

emphasizing the word ‘private.’ Private -- as in how the fuck did you get this number?
I regained my composure and replied back just as coolly, “I think we need to talk as soon as

possible. Something has come up regarding Victoria, and I think you are going to want to know all
about it.”
I cringed, knowing that Bella had been directly ordered not to tell me anything about Victoria.
The silence was deafening in my ears, so I continued speaking, certain Aro was still on the other

end listening. “There is no time to be angry with me or Bella, Mr. Volturi. Victoria has been in
touch with---“
Aro abruptly cut me off. “Mr. Cullen, say no more. Your cell phone is not secure enough to discuss
this any further. I am perfectly aware of the whereabouts of the person you speak of. In fact, I just

arrived to the same area myself.”
Aro was quiet once more, surely allowing me a moment to fully comprehend what he was saying.

Victoria was the one to leave the envelope at the door, and Aro apparently was now here, in Forks.
Her bold move just made me believe even more that she was trying to deceive Bella.
She must have known Aro would be on her tail.
Her window of opportunity would be limited.
Of course, Aro wouldn’t know about what she had left on Bella’s doorstep. That was only
something Bella, or I, could tell him, and Bella had made it clear she wasn’t going to say anything.
He didn’t know it yet, but I was Aro’s only resource for that information.
The power I held gave me a sense of fearlessness.

“Then I think we should meet in person -- just the two of us -- as soon as possible,” I stated.
Aro must have sensed the gravity of the situation from the tone of my voice.
He responded, “Meet me at noon at your residence, Mr. Cullen.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the fact Aro was telling me to meet him at my own fucking
house. I glanced at the time in my SUV. It was now 10:05.
“I’ll see you there,” I confirmed.
“Excellent. Good-bye, Mr. Cullen.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. I would tell Bella I needed to go home to shower and get clean
clothes. I didn’t like the idea of leaving her alone.
Under normal circumstances, Bella would be perfectly capable of protecting herself if Victoria
resurfaced.
But these were not normal circumstances.
I’d just have to get back here as soon as possible. Bella was not thinking with a clear mind. I was

fucking certain Aro wouldn’t want Bella to be left alone for long once he knew what the envelope
Victoria had left had held.
I stepped out of the SUV and went back into the house.
Bella was again seated at the kitchen table, intently looking over the old files.
Her hair was still wet, and she had put on a pair of jeans, sneakers, and an oversized, white cable-
knit sweater.
I cleared my throat when she didn’t look up as I entered the room.
“Will you be okay if I go home to shower and change,” I asked as I put my hand on her shoulder.
“Of course,” she said as she glanced up at me, her eyes still bloodshot from crying.
I immediately felt guilty as fuck. Not only because I was leaving her, even if only for a short while,

but, more so, because of what I was about to do. Meet her dad and tell him everything she didn’t
want him to know.
“Are you okay, Edward?’ she asked as she looked at me curiously.
“Where’s your gun?” I asked in return, ignoring her question to me.
“There,” she said, pointing to the seat of the chair I had been sitting in earlier this morning.
I felt relief that she was not distraught enough to completely lose sight of her own safety.
“Keep it with you until I get back, Bella. And, promise me you won’t go anywhere,” I said firmly.
“Okay.” She nodded absently as her eyes drifted back down to the files that contained the

information about her real parents.
I leaned down and kissed her cheek. She offered me a weak smile in return.
“I won’t be long,” I said quietly as I left.
I drove as fast as I could to my house, arriving there at 11:05. I quickly took a shower and changed

into a different pair of jeans and a grey Henley shirt.
It was now 11:55. As I was lacing up my hiking boots, the front doorbell rang. I tucked my gun into

the back of the waistband of my jeans. Just in case.

After all, I was meeting with an assassin … all alone.
I went downstairs and slowly opened my front door, feeling more than a little fucking uneasy.
There was no backing out now. The die was cast.
If I was right, then Aro and I could work together on keeping Bella safe from Victoria.
If I was wrong, armed or not, I would surely end up dead.

Chapter 18: Stalemate

EPOV
December 11: Saturday:
Aro stood calmly on my doorstep - dressed, as usual, in a perfectly-tailored black suit. I'd yet to see

him in anything besides that attire. He must own an entire closet full of fucking identical black
suits.
"Mr. Cullen," he addressed me curtly.
"Come in, Mr. Volturi," I replied, just as formally, as I stepped aside for him to enter.
"Lead the way," he stated, standing perfectly still. No emotion evident in his tone of voice.
I was fairly certain he didn't want me to be walking behind him once he entered my house. It was

obvious he did not trust me.
Even though I sure as fuck didn't fully trust him walking behind me, either, I had no real choice. So I

turned and walked towards the living room while he followed closely behind me.
To say I felt uncomfortable would be the fucking understatement of the year. Having an assassin

walking directly behind you is an unsettling experience, to put it mildly.
As we reached the living room, I motioned for him to sit down on the sofa. "Please, have a seat,

Mr. Volturi."
I sat down on a chair directly across from the sofa, separated only by a coffee table.
"Please, call me Aro. I thought we had established this at Thanksgiving," Aro said as he sat fluidly
upon the sofa.
"Only if you call me Edward," I retorted.
"Certainly, Edward. Now, may I ask you a question?" Aro's voice was calm, but the look in his eyes

was scary as fuck.
I nodded and said yes.I fully expected him to ask me how I had gotten his private phone number.

The one obviously used only for business. I found out I was way off as soon as he spoke.
"Do you plan on shooting me today, Edward?" He actually smiled, appearing to be genuinely

amused.
My mouth went dry. Fuck. He must have noticed the gun tucked in the back waistband of my jeans,

even though it was completely covered by my shirt.
To stay alive in his line of work, I guess it was imperative to notice things like that. I felt like a

fucking idiot for having even entertained the thought that I could somehow one-up fucking Mr.
Assassin himself.
"Of course not," I said, my voice laced with the embarrassment I felt.

"Indeed," Aro coolly agreed. "Even though you are quite a good shot, Edward, you would never

even have the chance to reach for your gun before I would, quite easily, disarm you."
At least he didn't say ‘kill you,' I thought to myself.
"Would you prefer I put my gun on the table, Mr. Vol-I mean, Aro?" I asked.
"I don't think that will be necessary, Edward," he stated calmly, before pausing and continuing.

"Now, what is the nature of this situation that you claim you so urgently need to talk to me
about?"
I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, knowing that this was it. I took a deep breathe and
began to explain.
"Victoria left a package this morning on Bella's doorstep. I was the one to find it. It contained
several . . . um, old files... ." My voice trailed off.
Every feature of Aro's face had hardened into a mask of perfect stillness, betraying nothing. His
eyes darkened as he asked me, "Exactly what information was contained in these old files?"
I hesitated. This was proving to be much more difficult than I had imagined. I felt like an outsider in
a world of intrigue and secrets. Secrets I wasn't supposed to have any knowledge of.
Worst of all, I was about to betray the one person I loved more than anyone else in the world by
telling secrets that weren't even mine to tell. I reminded myself I was doing this for Bella's safety.
I looked down at the coffee table, unable to meet Aro's piercing stare.
"The files contained some information about Bella's real parents. And information about how . . .

they died," I said softly as I glanced up at Aro, whose mask was starting to fade, revealing an
expression of fury. I closed my eyes. "And there was a note from Victoria," I finished.
Silence.
I opened my eyes cautiously to see Aro's mask of calmness had returned. I couldn't decide which

was more disturbing -- Calm Aro or Furious Aro.
Calm Aro asked me, "Tell me specifically what was in the files, Edward."
"Look, this isn't easy-"
Aro held his hand up and cut me off.
His voice took on an almost-soothing quality as he said, "Edward, allow me to say a few things
before you continue." He paused and I nodded. "I know Bella has told you many, many things

about our agency. Even details she was specifically ordered not to divulge."
My face must have mirrored my feeling of astonishment that Aro, somehow, already knew Bella

had told me things I was never supposed to know about, because he softened the tone of his voice
even more.
"Edward, it is my business to find out about these things. Bella defied direct orders, but she is my
daughter, and she obviously has strong feelings for you. I will not hold her responsible for her

transgression, nor do I intend to harm you. In fact, I must commend you on being nothing but
discreet with all you now know about our organization. So, please continue and do not worry that

there will be any repercussions for whatever it is you have to say."
Aro's words did relieve some of my apprehension, but I was still nervous as fuck.
I took a deep breath before telling Aro all about what Bella and I had read in the files: the
information about The Swans having been agents of The Project -- but how their missions had

been blacked out, the contents of Victoria's note, and finally, about the most damning page - the

one that clearly implicated Aro in the death of The Swans.
Aro sat impassively as he listened to me speak, his expression never wavering.
I then explained to him my theory on how I believed Victoria was mixing fact and fiction to lure
Bella into trusting her. I told him that I had said this very same thing to Bella, but that the seeds of

doubt Victoria had planted were already taking root.
I felt guilty as hell as I explained to Aro that Bella had not wanted to contact him, and that she

actually planned on meeting Victoria to find out more information.
I told him that Bella's safety was my primary concern. I added that I would do anything to keep her

safe, even if it meant going behind her back, as I was now doing.
"You were wise in contacting me, Edward. Clearly, if Bella mistrusts me already, Victoria's ruse is

effective," Aro stated, a hint of sadness in his tone.
I hesitated before asking, "Is any of it true?"
Aro blinked a few times, probably surprised at my forwardness in asking. There was no reason to
hold back any longer. I surmised I would have already been dead if I had been incorrect in my

assumptions regarding who to trust and who not to trust.
"Some of it is true, Edward." Aro stared past me as he continued, "Bella's real parents were indeed

agents of The Project, but there was never a directive for them to be killed. Not by me or anyone.
Victoria obviously forged the directive document. What happened in Arizona was truly a terrible

accident. The Swans were actually a very valuable commodity to The Project. Both were well-
trained and conducted a lot of business in Las Vegas for us."
It appeared Aro was not planning on detailing exactly what their Las Vegas ‘business' had entailed.
Not that it really mattered.
Bella's biological parents had been dead for over sixteen years now -- victims not of The Project,
but of a tragic automobile accident.
For some reason, I believed Aro.
His words just rang true with my gut feeling.
"Why didn't you tell Bella about her parents being agents?" I asked.
"There was no reason to divulge that information to Bella. She would have been curious as to what

types of missions they had been involved in. And details such as those are generally not discussed,
unless there is a specific reason for doing so," Aro explained.
"Maybe you still should have been honest with her, because now she believes you may have been
involved in their deaths."
"Hindsight is twenty-twenty, Edward. Those files on The Swans were supposed to have been
destroyed years ago. How Victoria got her hands on them is a mystery. But, I'm sure we will get to

the bottom of it. We always do," he said with certainty.
We then spoke more about how best to protect Bella. Aro agreed with me that I should continue

to spend all of my time with Bella, making sure she didn't attempt to meet with Victoria, while he
waited for his opportunity to take Victoria out.
He seemed to be pleased, but not surprised, that I had been carrying a gun for quite some time
now. And he somehow knew how accurate I was at shooting it.

I suspected it wasn't just because Bella had told him.
I was starting to get the impression that Aro had been keeping tabs on me. I was curious as to why.
Maybe because I was involved with his daughter? Maybe because I knew too much about The

Project? Why?
Little did I know, I was about to find out why.
"Well, I should probably get back to Bella's house," I said.
It was nearing 2:00 in the afternoon. Aro and I had been talking for almost two solid hours.
I started to stand, but Aro motioned for me to wait. "Before we go, I have one more piece of
business I would like to discuss with you, Edward."
I sat back down and looked at him questioningly.
Aro folded his arms across his chest and looked at me like the cat that had swallowed the fucking

canary. "Edward, have you ever considered becoming a part of The Project?"
For a few seconds, I thought he was surely joking. The look in his eyes told me he was most

definitely not.
I was torn on how to answer. Of course, I had thought about it, like just last night on the way home

from the shooting range.
I also knew Bella wouldn't like the idea. She had made that clear, as well, last night.
But to say I wasn't interested would have been a lie. Of course, I was fucking interested.
For lack of a better response, I asked, "How exactly would that work?"
Aro smirked and stated, "We've been watching you for a while now, Edward. At first, because of
our thinking you were involved with the untimely death of one of our own." He looked at me

poignantly and I cringed.
"I know, I was Bella's potential target," I whispered, not really too fucking happy to be reminded of

that little fact.
Aro ignored my comment and continued, "Once that was resolved, we continued to watch you

because you are involved with one of our own, and you know entirely too much about us. We had
to be sure you weren't going to talk. As I said earlier, we've been very impressed at your

discretion."
"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically under my breath.
Aro smiled, even though I suspected he had heard my comment. "You would continue with your
pre-law studies at Hale, or wherever you wanted to go. As I'm sure you've noticed, the agency pays

extremely well, Edward. If you were to accept our offer, you would train with Felix starting in May,
after the next semester ends. You'd have to train in Los Angeles for three months. Then, you could

live wherever you preferred and continue your training from there. The types of missions you'd be
sent on would be determined once we thoroughly assessed all of your talents during your time in

LA." Aro hesitated, and then added, "I must say, we are already impressed with some of the things
we've seen thus far."
I knew it probably wasn't appropriate to ask, but I was genuinely curious. "Like what?"
"Your skill with firearms, your fighting abilities, your discretion . . . you coming to me today with

the information on Victoria, and the fact that you seem to genuinely love my daughter... ." His
voice trailed off, before he added, "Do I need to go on, Edward?"

I was more than interested; I was actually ready to accept his offer immediately, especially in light

of the recent developments.
But I knew it was something I still needed to think through completely.

Aro was making it sound so perfect, but I knew the downside.
You answered to the agency first and foremost. Bella was given leeway because her father was Aro.

I was sure I'd be expected to walk a straighter line, so to speak. Once you became part of The
Project, there was no turning back.
Like Bella had told me, it was for life.
You couldn't quit or leave. To do so, meant death. In fact, death was a part of life when one was a

part of The Project.
It was obvious to me that an agent was not paid such exorbitant amounts of money unless there

was an extremely high level of danger involved.
Jacob had been a well-paid agent . . . and had ended up dead.
On the other hand, how could I have a life with Bella when she was an agent and I was not?
Would we have a chance at a long-term future?
Probably not.
Did I want a life without Bella?
Absolutely not.
Even though I was pretty fucking sure that I was going to accept Aro's offer, I still asked, "Can I

think it over?"
"Certainly. We wouldn't want it any other way. Take as much time as you like, within reason."
Before we wrapped up our discussion and went our separate ways, Aro handed me a sleek black
cell phone, identical to the one Bella carried, for me to use exclusively to reach him.
He told me to erase his number from my regular cell phone immediately. I actually did so in front
of him.
There were two contacts listed in the new cell phone: a and f, both with Los Angeles area codes. I
recognized Aro's number, but had to wait for Aro to explain that the ‘f' was for Felix. I was to call

him if, and only if, I was unable to reach Aro.
The other request Aro made was for me not to tell Bella anything about our having met, and

certainly not about our discussion regarding me, potentially, becoming an agent.
Of course, I had no intention of telling Bella I had gone behind her back to tell her dad everything

she wanted to keep

****************************************

As I reached Bella's house and pulled into the driveway, I noticed her Cayenne had been moved.
I immediately felt the anger rise up in my chest.
Had I not asked her to stay put for just a few hours? Fuck.
Where the fuck had she gone?
I slammed the door of my Range Rover as I got out and stomped into Bella's house, none too
happy.

Bella was lying down on the living room sofa, a blanket wrapped around her. I walked over and

stood in front of the sofa. She glanced up at me and gave me a half-hearted smile. At least she
looked better than she had this morning, no more red-rimmed eyes. Her face was still paler than

usual, though.
"Bella, did you go somewhere?" I questioned, my voice betraying my suspicions.
She rolled her eyes and sat up, obviously annoyed at my question.
"Edward, I told you earlier, I don't take orders from you."
I sighed and sat down beside her. "Please tell me you didn't meet with Victoria," I said
exasperatedly as I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds, reminding myself to take a few deep

breaths to control my ire.
I didn't really need to hear Bella's answer, her demeanor gave her away.
Besides, it had been an opportune time for Victoria to have contacted Bella, with both Aro and
myself preoccupied at my house -- even if only for a few hours.
Bella narrowed her eyes at me. "Why are you so firmly entrenched on my dad's side, Edward?"
"Why are you not?" I countered.
Bella's eyes softened. "I don't know. I just don't know who to believe anymore, Edward."
I silently wondered if she was referring to me now, as well.
I knew she had met with Victoria, even though she had adeptly avoided my question. I also knew
there was no way I would leave her side again until Victoria was gone. And, by gone, I meant dead.
"You met her, didn't you?" I whispered, wanting to hear her verbal confirmation.
Bella nodded slowly. "I had my gun, Edward. I am not incapable of taking care of myself," she said

irritably.
"What did she say? And where did you meet her?"
"I met her down at the diner at the edge of town. So, there were lots of people around us." She
looked at me meaningfully. "I asked her how she expected me to believe . . . everything that was in

that envelope."
Bella ran her fingers through her hair, much like I was always doing, before she took a breath and

continued, "Edward, it's not that I necessarily believe Aro actually signed off on that directive. In
fact, I have questions of my own regarding the authenticity of that directive. But I need to know

more. Can you understand that, Edward?"
I completely understood her need for more information.
It was killing me that I couldn't tell her what Aro had told me about her parents really being
agents, but that The Project had never wanted them dead.
The car accident had been what it appeared to be - just a terrible tragedy.
Victoria had forged the document that implicated Aro.
"I do understand, Bella. But can you show a little trust in what I'm saying?" I asked, feeling like a
complete dick for actually using the word ‘trust' in this whole fucked-up mess.
Bella looked at me warily, and, for a moment, I felt like maybe she suspected something.
"I can try, Edward. But I may be making decisions that you aren't going to agree with."
"Are you telling me you are going to meet with Victoria again?" I questioned warily.

Bella nodded. "When I told her the directive looked to me like it could have been forged, she said

she has additional documents for me to see. She said she'd be in touch about another meeting
time and place."
I knew there was no way in hell Bella would not meet with Victoria again to get her hands on those
documents. If they even existed.
"I'm going with you," I stated, not willing to take no for an answer.
"She will want to meet with me alone, Edward. Besides, it's too dangerous for you to go with me."
Despite the serious nature of our discussion, I almost laughed.
Dangerous?
I was in so deep, it was already far beyond dangerous for me.
"Bella, I will be going with you if you meet her again. End of discussion."
She looked at me, anger and defiance flashing in her eyes.
Keeping Bella safe was going to be a challenge, without a doubt.
"Well, Edward," Bella began, "it would appear we are at a stalemate."

********************************************

BPOV
December 12, Sunday:
Edward spent the night in my bed, but it was the first night we spent together without touching
one another, in some way or another.
I stayed on my side of the bed, and he stayed on his.
A huge part of me craved him. There had been several times throughout the night I had awoken

and wanted nothing more than to crawl into his comforting, strong arms.

But I couldn't. Or, wouldn't.
I was such a mess. The information contained in those files had left my thinking clouded and

unreasonable.
At first, I had been shocked, thinking it was some sort of sick joke. Unfortunately, I knew it was not

a joke.
After examining the documents repeatedly yesterday, before and after Edward had gone back to

his house, I determined the following: I believed my real parent's had indeed been agents. Those
documents just looked too authentic not to be real.
However, I found the ‘agency directive' to be questionable, at best.
Edward's words had sunk in after he had left me sitting at the kitchen table. It certainly could be a

trick. Something about the look of the directive just didn't sit well with me.
But I didn't know who to believe.
I just wasn't ready to contact Aro... yet.
I wanted to handle some of this on my own. That was why I had met with Victoria while Edward

was gone. I knew she would not try anything in a place full of people. That had been why I had
suggested the little diner at the edge of town that was always crowded on a Saturday afternoon.

I also was kind of curious as to what she would be like - in person.
Upon meeting her, I immediately sensed Victoria could not be trusted. Past her wild red hair and
exotic looks, I saw a desperate woman. A woman on the run.
Her desperation made her unpredictable.
I had reached into my open purse a number of times as she had spoken, touching the cool metal of

my Glock for reassurance.
When she had said she could provide me with additional documentation, I knew I'd have to meet

with her at least one more time before saying anything to Aro.
But I decided I would be honest with Edward. Except now, he was determined to accompany me

when I next met with Victoria.
I knew he wanted to keep me safe, but I wanted the same thing for him.

I wanted to keep Edward safe from Victoria.
If something did go awry, I certainly didn't want Edward to end up injured -- or worse.
I could protect myself, but Edward could be unpredictable. I just didn't want him to end up getting
hurt because of me.
All of these things ran through my head as I watched Edward sleep next to me in my bed.
His utter gorgeousness never ceased to amaze me. I sighed as I etched an image of Edward Cullen

in my mind. He slept peacefully on his side, facing me, his arm tucked beneath the pillow. The
blankets loosely wrapped around his legs and hips.
My eyes traveled down from his tousled, coppery-bronze locks to his closed eyes. Even as I
admired his long lashes, I half-wished he would open his eyes so I could see the beautiful emerald

green that could darken with lust, or rage, so quickly.
I reached out and traced his strong jaw-line, feeling the light stubble beneath my fingertips as I

reached the fullness of his lips.
He stirred slightly so I pulled my hand away, not wanting to wake him just yet.
I continued my visual journey down his torso. Edward was lean, but his muscles were sculpted. His
extra workouts were really evident, his bicep clearly defined on the arm he had tucked under the

pillow.
I bit my lip as I drank in the smattering of copper-colored hair that oh-so-lightly covered his chest.

The blankets fell to right below his hip, further accentuating the v-shape of his torso.
My hand ached to reach out and trail my fingers down further to where heaven awaited me. I

could see the slight bulge in the looseness of the blanket wrapped around him, and I realized he
was sleeping in the nude.
I nearly groaned aloud.
Careful not to wake Edward, I reached over once again and pulled the blanket a little tighter

against the outline of his now prominent morning erection. I swallowed audibly in anticipation as I
leaned closer to his covered hardness. I traced his length with my index finder through the thin

material.
Edward moaned and rolled onto his back.
I stilled myself for a moment, before pulling the cover down enough to place my mouth over the
head of his cock. I pushed the material further down with my chin as I took him in my mouth fully,

tightening my lips around his hardness as I eased my way back up.
He shifted, and I glanced up through my lashes to find him watching me intently.
The rest of Edward was awake now, also.
I continued to work Edward's cock with my mouth and hands as he watched, his breathing
becoming more and more uneven. At some point, he guided me away and rolled me onto my back.
I gasped with pleasure and arched my back as I felt the warmth and wetness of his tongue trace
along my inner thigh and reach my core. He circled his tongue around my clit slowly and gently,

before he positioned his tongue along the underside of my clit and licked upwards with
agonizingly-good slowness.
I moaned out his name.
Edward continued the same rhythm with his tongue as he placed two fingers at my entrance and

pushed. He curled his fingers expertly inside of me until he hit my hidden spot, sending me over
the edge.
As my walls clenched around his fingers, he swiftly removed them and replaced them with his
cock, thus provoking an additional orgasm from me. Or, maybe it was a continuation of the first.
I didn't really care to fucking analyze it as Edward continued to move within me. Up until this point,
I had kept my eyes closed, just reveling in the sensations. But as I felt Edward press his chest

against mine and his warm breaths caressed my face, I opened my eyes to meet his gaze.
I looked into the emerald depths, darkened with lust, and knew with certainty that Edward Cullen

really did love me. Even after all the many times he had said it, there was always a tiny part of me
that doubted that he could truly love me. In the long run.
Looking into his eyes now, I knew he could, and would. If only I let him.
Emotion overwhelmed me as I realized the depths of my own love for Edward.
His lips pressed against mine as we continued to make love, slowly and passionately.
In moments like these, whatever stalemate we were at in our disagreement over how to handle

the Victoria-situation seemed like a moot point.
In moments like these, we truly were one.
As we moved together as one, I desperately committed every move, every touch, and every
sensation to memory. I didn't know exactly why, but it seemed imperative to do so.
I clung to Edward with a newfound urgency.
For some reason, I sensed the memory of this morning would define the difference between life

and death in the very near future.

Chapter 19: Running Up That Hill

BPOV
December 12, Sunday: (continued…)
Just as I was about to take a bite of my slightly-burnt toast, a phone rang. Neither mine nor
Edward’s cell phones, but, rather, the landline phone.
Edward set down his coffee cup and looked at me expectantly. We both knew it would be either

one of two parties, Aro or Victoria. Only Aro (and Edward) had the landline phone number, as it

was a secure line to be used primarily for business reasons.
Of course, that was until yesterday when I learned Victoria had somehow discovered my landline

phone number. She had reached me at that very same number, while Edward had been back at his
house. That was when we had set up our afternoon diner meeting.
Victoria seemed to not only have a talent for eluding The Project quite effectively, but also for
acquiring ‘sensitive’ information. As evidenced by the documents and her finding out the number

to my secured line.
I had told Edward about Victoria now having my landline phone number. So he knew, as did I, that

it surely could be her.
I answered on the third ring.
Not surprisingly, it was Victoria. I spoke to her very briefly, just long enough to set up our next
meeting.
I really wanted to get my hands on any additional documentation that either supported, or
debunked, Aro’s involvement in my real parents’ deaths.
My thinking was that if the additional documents appeared to be as questionable looking, in terms
of authenticity, as the supposed ‘directive’ then I would contact Aro immediately.
He’d surely be angry at me for waiting, but so far, it had only been a twenty-four hour time period
since I had first laid eyes on those documents.
I didn’t care to consider what reaction I might have if the additional documentation lent any
credence to the ‘Aro-signing-the-directive’ scenario.
The thought of that possibly being true had just about torn me to pieces yesterday morning,
before Edward’s theory began to make more and more sense to me.
As I hung up the phone, Edward asked me, “When does she want to meet?”
He knew it had been Victoria, and not Aro, by the tone of my voice and my short, clipped

responses on the phone.
“Tonight,” I answered quietly.
I still did not want Edward to accompany me to meet with Victoria. The thought of losing him was
too unbearable to even contemplate. Additionally, I was beginning to suspect The Project was

aware of Victoria’s whereabouts. The agency had full access to every call made and received on
the phone she had, now twice, called me on. The caller ID indicated Victoria had used two

different phones with Seattle area codes. To me, that meant she was calling from either disposable
cell phones or random pay phones.
In any case, it would make it easy for The Project to track either.
The only thing that didn’t add up was that I had heard absolutely nothing from Aro. It was unlike

him to not alert me to her presence up here, if he was aware of it.
Something was amiss, and that was another reason why I didn’t want Edward coming with me to

meet Victoria tonight.
“What time?” he asked, breaking me out of my ruminations.
Yeah – it was going to be tough to deter him.
“Um, seven o’clock,” I answered hesitantly.

“Bella,” Edward warned. He knew what I was up to. “Don’t get any ideas about ditching me and

going alone.”
I was glad we had showered and dressed before breakfast, because I felt a sudden chill run down

my spine. I pulled my black hoodie tighter around my body and glanced down at my worn jeans, so
I didn’t have to meet Edward’s icy, warning stare.
“I won’t go without you,” I assured him, even though I was wracking my brain thinking of how I
could ‘ditch’ Edward and meet Victoria alone.
I felt Edward’s hand nudge at my chin, urging me to look up at him.
My gaze followed up Edward’s body, much like I had done earlier in the morning, although now he

was fully-dressed.
As he lifted my chin, I glanced at his jeans, before taking note of his grey t-shirt. One of my

favorites, because of the way it accentuated his chest and shoulders.
I finally met those emerald eyes, always so full of emotion. What I saw now was a mixture of anger

and concern.
I sighed and resigned myself that there would be no ‘ditching’ Edward. He was just too damn

determined. Even though he would surely be taking his own gun -- I would have mine -- I made a
promise to myself to do everything in my power to be extra vigilant.
“I won’t go without you,” I repeated as I held his gaze.
“Promise me, Bella.”
“I promise, Edward.”
After we finished breakfast, I started upstairs to make the bed. I just wanted to try to keep busy

with mundane tasks until it was time to meet with Victoria.
Edward said he wanted to make some phone calls and went out to his Range Rover to do so.
I found it kind of odd he didn’t just stay downstairs since I was going upstairs.
The agent-side of me was suspicious. Who was he calling that he couldn’t call from downstairs?

Obviously, someone he wanted complete privacy in which to talk.
As I absently began to make the bed, I scoffed at myself for suspecting Edward of hiding

something. With all the stress we’d endured, he probably just wanted a few minutes to himself.
The rest of the afternoon passed with agonizingly slowness.
Edward and I tried to watch a football game on television, but I couldn’t concentrate at all as we
stretched out on the sofa together. I ended up just curling up against Edward. I closed my eyes,

turned away from the game, and heard the announcers exclaim that the Seahawks had just scored
a touchdown.
I thought about how simple life would be if I wasn’t an agent for The Project.
Edward and I would probably have invited Emmett and Rose over to watch this game, since they

were avid sports fans. We’d all be hollering and having fun, probably over a few beers and pizza.
Instead, we were huddled together on the sofa, me with my face buried against Edward’s chest,

hoping his strong heartbeats would comfort me, like usual, and
Edward quietly watching a football game, obviously lost in thought himself.
I thought back to Edward’s words the other night, on the way home from the shooting range. He

had asked me if he was good enough to be an agent. He’d said he was joking, but had he really

been serious?
He actually was a good enough shot to be an agent. He’d been exceptionally accurate from every

distance at which fired. He certainly possessed a number of other abilities that were required of an
agent. He was stealthy, athletic, and strong. He knew how to fight. And, he had proven himself able

to keep things confidential. Much to my relief, he had never uttered a word of anything remotely
agency-related to anyone.
But did I want him to be an agent? The selfish part of me did, because it would make life easier for
me. He would be what I was. We would be bound together by being part of The Project.
On the other hand, did I want him to condemn himself to such a dangerous life? Even though he
was in danger now, by knowing so much about the agency, he could still walk away. As long as he

continued to be discreet with what he knew, the agency would leave him be.
If he were to become an agent, there would be no turning back. His life would be dictated by The

Project.
Listening to Edward’s heartbeats, I thought about how he could end up like Jacob. He could leave

for a mission and just never return.
I shuddered at the thought. Edward wrapped his warm arms around me more tightly, probably just

assuming I was cold.
I just didn’t know what to think anymore.
As I drifted off to sleep, wrapped in Edward’s warmth, I was comforted by the thought that all of it
was only a ‘what-if.’ It wasn’t like The Project had offered him a job or anything.
Yes – at least I was comforted by that thought.

**********************************

I awoke awhile later with a start.
I had dreamed of endless darkness. Nothing else.
Where was I?
I felt disoriented as I rose from the depths of sleep to a state of wakefulness.
I was still in Edward’s arms, but I was now lying on top of him on the sofa. He had drifted off to
sleep, as well.
I glanced at the television; a different football game was on. The clock read 6:05. It was already
evening and dark outside.
Fuck. It was just about time to leave.
Victoria had suggested meeting at a large gravel parking lot reserved for trucks, located a mile or

so from the diner we’d met at yesterday. There was nothing but thick woods in that particular area.
But it was right off the main road. It would be private but not too secluded.
I roused Edward from his slumber.
He looked at me with confusion at first, but then jumped to his feet, fully awake.
“I’ll drive,” he said, his voice still thick from sleep, as he walked over to the chair where his jacket
was draped.
As he slipped on his jacket, I noticed the grip of his handgun in the right pocket. I stood and

grabbed my purse, checking for my own gun.
“Okay, I’m ready,” I answered, shaking off the final remnants of sleep and sobering into full agent
mode.
It was more important than ever that I remember everything I had ever been taught. Even though
Edward wasn’t a fellow-agent, he really was a part of my own covert mission tonight. Since I hadn’t

been able to keep him from coming with me, I knew I must do anything necessary to protect him
from harm.
Anything.
We drove across town and past the diner, which appeared to be quite empty this cold, but clear,

Sunday night. We traveled further along the state route that winded through the dense pine forest.
There was not much to say.
I reminded Edward to follow my lead; Victoria would be expecting only me.
It was paramount that she not feel cornered or threatened.
We reached the gravel turn-off to the lot, and Edward turned in very slowly.
Since travelling beyond the diner, we had passed only one other vehicle.
This area had a much more desolate feel at night, especially in the dead of winter.
The sound of crunching gravel filled my ears as Edward drove to the back of the parking lot. Huge

pine trees stood sentry on three sides of the lot.
I could see why this would be a good place for a tired trucker to park his rig and take a nap.
Once one entered this lot it was like the state route, and the rest of the world, disappeared behind
you. A single, old mercury gas light illuminated the huge parking area meant for tractor trailers and

semis.
Tonight, though, the only vehicle in the lot was a black Lincoln Town car. The same car Victoria had

been driving yesterday. The Oregon plates indicated it was most definitely a rental. I was certain
she’d rented it under a false identity.
Edward turned off the Range Rover engine, near the parked Lincoln, and looked over at me for
direction.
“I think you should stay here,” I said, trying one last time to keep him away from Victoria.
Edward chuckled, but with no hint of humor, “No chance, Bella.”
Victoria emerged from the driver’s side of her car with a large manila envelope in her grasp,
identical to the one she had left on my doorstep yesterday morning.
She had on a long, dark coat, but her other hand appeared to be unoccupied. She wasn’t carrying a
purse, but that did not mean she was unarmed. I drew in a deep breath.
“Okay, let’s go. Stay behind me,” I said as I opened the Range Rover door and stepped down, the
crunch of the gravel now beneath my unassuming sneakers.
Edward exited the SUV at the same time, but stayed a few feet behind me as I approached Victoria
with caution. The mercury gas lighting gave her face a ghostly pale appearance, in stark contrast to

her wild red hair that blew in the light, icy breeze.
Victoria smirked as I stopped about six feet or so from her. “I don’t recall inviting your boyfriend to

our private meeting,” she said, venom dripping with her every word.

Her friendly, helpful demeanor from yesterday was long gone. I kept my hands tucked into the

large, front pocket of my hoodie where I had transferred my Glock.
My right hand was on the grip, ready.
Victoria glanced at me warily, but trained her eyes on Edward. He was still behind me, but much
closer to me, now.
I ignored her comment. She obviously had done her research and knew who Edward was. I found
myself partially relieved that she would also know Edward was not an agent, but her edgy behavior

made me uneasy.
“Did you bring the documents?” I asked, wanting to just get this meeting over with as quickly as

possible.
I was starting to wish I had called Aro, after all. I had a strong sense that Victoria had, indeed, been

bluffing. Somewhere in my heart, I knew Aro had not ordered the death of my parents, nor did The
Project. I sensed Edward had been right all along. This was a trick -- Victoria’s last ditch attempt to

exact her revenge. And I had been foolish enough to play right into her hands. I had to get us out of
here as quickly as possible.
Her eyes focused back on me, narrowing. She nodded her head slightly as she visibly breathed in
the cold night air deeply. Her eyes then moved back to Edward.
My hand tightened around the grip of my Glock.
She smiled as she said, “I think he should go.” She nodded towards Edward.
I heard Edward’s voice from behind me, although he was now standing almost directly next to me.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he growled, meeting Victoria’s gaze with no hint of fear or uneasiness.
“Just give me the documents and we can all leave,” I stated, trying to use my most placating tone.
Victoria kept her eyes on Edward as she moved to hand me the manila envelope. “Take them,” she

said icily as she held them out to me, her hand oddly-angled beneath the envelope.
I realized, in an instant, Victoria wanted me to step towards her and reach for the envelope so that

she could see my hands. She suspected I was armed.
As I placed my finger on the trigger of my Glock--still in my hoodie pocket--I noticed the tiniest

glint of silver metal under the envelope Victoria was holding out to me.
That was why her hand held the envelope at such an odd angle. She had a revolver under the

envelope, ready to shoot when I reached for it. Edward had been right. This had all been a ruse to
get me alone with her.
I pulled my gun out just as she dropped the envelope and aimed her gun.
Not at me, but at Edward.
No.
I swiftly moved in front of Edward and aimed my gun. I fired just as she fired.
Somehow, her shot missed both of us. Unfortunately, my shot missed her as well - only because
Edward had pushed me out of the way in an effort to save my life from her shot. However, her

bullet surely would have hit Edward had I not stepped in front of him in the first place.
I was certain it was our efforts to save one another--my stepping in front of Edward and him

pushing me aside--that caused Victoria to miss both of us completely.
Within seconds, Edward had his Beretta aimed at Victoria, his hand steady and even. I saw the

same emotionless expression in his eyes that I had seen right before he’d attacked Mike Newton at

Jasper’s party.
Victoria laughed demonically as she took aim at Edward once again.
Victoria had wanted me dead, but now she seemed more interested in killing Edward. She looked
like she had gone mad. It was obvious she didn’t care anymore if she lived or died. She just wanted

some kind of revenge.
I couldn’t take the chance and fire at Victoria with her gun trained on Edward, and I couldn’t hope

that Edward would be faster than she if they both fired their weapons simultaneously. Even if
Edward, or I, shot her first, her gun would surely still discharge. And, it was aimed directly at

Edward.
I really had only one choice.
“It’s me you want, not him,” I yelled as I lowered my gun, mentally wrestling with every instinct
and all the training I had ever received.
But, I would sacrifice myself to save the man I loved.
“You’re a fool, Bella Swan,” she said coldly as she aimed at me and fired.
I felt a crushing impact against my left shoulder, forceful enough to throw me backwards. I fell to
the ground. Numb, I blinked up at the clear night sky, the stars twinkling high above me.
At the same time, I heard two gunshots in quick succession. I also heard another gunshot that
sounded like it came from a high-powered rifle off in the distance.
A searing pain began to radiate through my shoulder and down my torso. I reached over with my
right hand to touch my left side.
The warm wetness had soaked through my hoodie. I was bleeding . . . a lot.
A metallic taste permeated my mouth.
I heard Edward’s voice and felt relief.
Edward was alive.
That was all that mattered. The stars above me became blurry and out-of-focus before
I closed my eyes.

******************************

EPOV
The rage that consumed me kept me oddly calm as Victoria aimed her revolver directly at me from
point blank range.
I had pushed Bella to the side, willing to take the bullet meant for her. But Victoria had missed.
Bella had fired at the same time as Victoria, and I knew with a sick certainty that her bullet would

have connected with Victoria had I not pushed her as she fired.
I had only meant to protect her.
There was no way to have known Victoria would miss completely, and I hadn’t been willing to take
that risk with Bella’s life.
Now, Victoria and I stood in a stand-off, both of us unmoving.
Suddenly, I heard Bella’s voice cry out to Victoria, “It’s me you want, not him.”

What the fuck? What was Bella saying? I glanced in her direction, only to see her lower her Glock.
Within the seconds it took for me to re-aim my gun at Victoria, she had already fired at Bella.
I shot Victoria immediately. I hit her in the abdomen, and, as she fell to her knees, she pulled the

trigger of her gun, even though it was pointed to the ground. The bullet ricocheted off the gravel,
hitting nothing.
I was preparing to shoot her once more when I heard the sound of a high-powered rifle break
through the line of pine trees behind where Bella and I had been standing just moments ago.
Aro.
Bella and I must have been standing directly in his sight line. That was why he hadn’t fired sooner.
I glanced at Victoria only long enough to see her fall backwards, clearly shot through the heart.
There was no doubt she was dead.
I turned to see Bella lying on the gravel, bleeding profusely from her left shoulder.
Terror ripped through my soul. I saw Bella touch her hoodie, which was darkening quickly with the

spreading blood from her gunshot wound. I dropped to my knees beside Bella and said her name.
Her body visibly relaxed, and she closed her eyes.
A level of fear I had never fathomed could exist gripped me. I was paralyzed by the very real
thought of losing Bella.
I started as I felt a hand upon my shoulder. Aro dropped down beside me.
It was the first time I had ever seen him not composed in at least some way. A quick glance at his

pained expression told me more than I needed to know.
It was clear Aro loved Bella. And it was clear Bella’s situation was perilous.
“Our paramedics will be here any moment, Edward,” he said quietly.
He took off his ubiquitous black suit jacket and balled it up. He reached to place it on Bella’s

wound, but I quickly snatched it from him and applied pressure to stem the bleeding from Bella’s
shoulder.
I knew it made no sense, but I didn’t want anyone but me touching Bella at this moment.
Aro said nothing and leaned back slightly, giving me more space with Bella.
The bleeding was so bad. I felt a lump rise in my throat.
I prayed for God to take me instead of Bella. My prayers were in vain though, because the course

of fate had already been set. Bella had been shot, when all along it should have been me. I prayed
in vain to turn back the clock and swap places with Bella.
“Talk to her, Edward,” Aro said from behind me.
I leaned forward and listened to her shallow breathing as I continued to try to stop the bleeding.

Aro’s suit jacket was already wet and heavy with Bella’s blood.
With my mouth close to her ear, I whispered, “Be strong, Bella. Fight. Don’t leave me, baby.” My

voice cracked on the last words.
“I love you,” I whispered as I brushed her lips ever-so-lightly with my own.
Bella’s eyes fluttered open for a few seconds, and I ran my hand down her right arm. She felt so
frail beneath me. Her strength was leaving her. I could actually feel her fading away. Her eyes

closed once more.
“Hold on, Bella,” I growled as I willed her to obey.
The vacant, faraway look that I had seen in her eyes frightened me even more than the heavy

blood loss.
Two dark Mercedes-Benz sedans pulled into the lot at the same time I heard the approach of a

helicopter.
I looked at Aro questioningly. Victoria’s lifeless body was just a few feet away from where we were

kneeling next to Bella. How would we explain all of this?
Aro had regained his usual sense of composure, even under these unthinkable circumstances.
He calmly said, “Don’t worry, these are all our people. There will be no questions. Bella will be life-
flighted to a hospital in Seattle equipped to deal with trauma one patients.”
I looked at him in confusion until he added, “It’s a hospital where we have connections. No
questions will be asked. No police will be involved.”
A man I recognized as Felix emerged from one of the sedans. He had to yell over the noise of the
helicopter as it landed in the large parking lot, whipping up even more cold air around us.
“Sir, we will take care of this.” He motioned to Victoria’s body as he spoke to Aro. “Only one person
can accompany Bella on the flight to the hospital. Shall I drive Mr. Cullen to Seattle?”
There was no way I was leaving Bella’s side. No fucking way.
Aro glanced at me and must have read my mind.
“Mr. Cullen will be accompanying Bella in the helicopter. I will ride with you to the hospital.”
“As you wish, sir,” Felix responded.
Three other men that I did not recognize exited the other black sedan. Quickly and efficiently, they
began to remove any and all remnants of our ever having been there.
One man placed a tarp over Victoria’s body, while another man shined the beam of a flashlight on
the ground and began to pick up the spent casings.
The paramedics, which I knew were agency-related in some way, raced over to Bella and asked me
to give them room to work.
I reluctantly stood up and backed off.
They worked furiously over Bella, before placing her onto a stretcher and lifting her up to the

helicopter. Aro reached to the ground and picked up Bella’s Glock and my Beretta, which I had
dropped to the ground after shooting Victoria.
“I need to send your gun to headquarters,” he said to me as he noticed me watching him. I nodded
in assent.
Had my shot been the one to kill Victoria? Or, had Aro’s high-powered rifle ended her life?
As I watched Bella being placed into the helicopter, I secretly hoped it had been mine. It would

make me a killer, but Victoria had shot the one person who meant more to me than life itself. The
moral implications were no longer applicable, as far as I was concerned.
I started to walk to the helicopter. Aro stopped me just long enough to ask for my Range Rover
keys, so that they could get it out of the lot.
As I was handing him the keys, he held my gaze meaningfully. “Edward, you did the right thing by

calling me earlier today.”
He didn’t need to elaborate. I shuddered at the thought of what would have happened had he and
the other agents not been close by. I knew The Project would determine whether my shot, or

Aro’s, had been the fatal one for Victoria.
But had the agency not been informed and nearby, how would I have gotten Bella to a hospital

equipped to help her? How would I have explained what happened had I been left with no choice
but to call the local police and paramedics?
I climbed into the helicopter and, despite the disapproving looks of the agency-paramedics, who
were still monitoring and adjusting various tubes and needles that had been hooked up to Bella, I

took Bella’s cool hand in mine and pressed my lips against her clammy skin.
“Please, Bella. Please, don’t die,” I whispered as I raised her icy hand, that had taken on an odd,

bluish cast, to my cheek.
I closed my eyes and prayed as a single tear slid down my cheek and fell onto Bella’s cold hand.
End Notes:
Thank you for reading. Please review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter. Do you think

Bella will live? Are you glad Victoria is dead? Did anything surprise you?

Chapter 20: O’ Death

BPOV
December 12, Sunday: (continued…)
I felt a crushing impact against my left shoulder, forceful enough to throw me backwards.
I fell to the ground.

Numb, I blinked up at the clear night sky, the stars twinkling high above me.
At the same time, I heard two gunshots in quick succession. I also heard another gunshot that

sounded like it came from a high-powered rifle off in the distance.
A searing pain began to radiate through my shoulder and down my torso. I reached over with my

right hand to touch my left side.
The warm wetness had soaked through my hoodie. I was bleeding . . . a lot.
A metallic taste permeated my mouth.
I heard Edward’s voice and felt relief.
Edward was alive.
That was all that mattered. The stars above me became blurry and out-of-focus before

I closed my eyes.
As I lay on my back -- feeling like I was adrift on a vast expanse of dark, brackish water -- two

distinct memories occupied my mind. Nothing more, nothing less.
Both memories washed over me, all-encompassing, effectively drowning out all other thoughts.
One was light.
One was dark.
Both were bathed in translucent red. The exact shade of freshly-spilled blood.

One memory had occurred in the morning hours of this day, in my bedroom. It was my first

memory of this now fateful day.
The other memory had occurred in the darkness of night, just minutes ago, in an empty lot. It was

my last memory of this day.
My first and my last memories merged into one.
In both, Edward Cullen was at my side.
The two memories were blurring together, cloaked in the blackness that was enveloping me. I

could no longer find the distinct line that held the two apart.
In both memories, Edward Cullen was leaning over me, his face so close to mine that his warm

breaths intermingled with my own.
In one memory, my breaths were strong and matched his rhythm.
In the other, my breaths struggled to match his, but were weakening rapidly.
In both memories, Edward Cullen was speaking to me, but I was unable to comprehend his words,

his voice echoing further and further away.
I think I may have heard someone say my name. Was it Edward?
Or was that a darker, sinister voice that called for me?
I struggled to open my eyes, but I saw nothing but darkness.
Endless darkness.
I heard Edward’s voice again, but the darker voice called for me as well.
My mind fought to separate the two, because one was life and the other was death.
My mind fought to separate the two, because one was pleasure and the other was pain.
In my memory that encompassed all that was life and all that was pleasure,
Edward was making love to me in the wee hours of the morning in my bed.
I opened my eyes to see all the love Edward Cullen felt for me.
His tender kisses gave me life . . . and hope.
But all of that was only part of the one memory, now overlapping with the other.
In the other memory, there was blackness. Endless blackness to which there was no foreseeable

end.
Fear gripped at my heart. How could I find my way back to life and hope?
Within the blackness – which was thick and suffocating– I could only recall the memory that
encompassed all that was death and all that was pain.
I was on my back, and Edward was above me again.
I started to confuse the two memories.
When Edward’s lips touched mine, I could no longer breathe. I gasped for breath as pain radiated
throughout my body. I was unable to pinpoint from where the pain originated. Edward uttered

words to me, and I wanted to believe he was telling me everything would be fine. I wanted to
believe everything would be fine in the darkness, as it had been in the light.
In both memories, Edward professed his love for me.

That I remembered clearly.
That I was able to hear.
That I clung to.
Edward’s hands were so warm as they travelled over my bare body. I begged him not to stop.
Edward’s hands were so warm as they travelled over my clothed body. I tried to beg him to not

stop, but was unable to speak.
In both memories, Edward’s face was contorted.
One in ecstasy.
One in agony.
In both memories, there was something firm within my body. Both felt as hard as steel.
One was warm and had made me scream out in blissful ecstasy.
The other was searing hot and icy cold at the same time, and made me scream out in utter agony.
In both memories, I felt myself reaching an apex.
In one memory, I gladly tumbled over the edge – my breath uneven and ragged. Light.
In the other memory, I resisted falling over the edge – my breath uneven and ragged. Dark.
In both memories, tears flowed down my cheeks. But I could only feel their warmth in one
memory. Maybe they never existed at all in the other one?
My mind was sinking further into the abyss. I struggled to stay afloat.
I struggled to hold onto the – Screams.
I struggled to hold onto the – Tears.
I struggled to hold onto the – Agony.
I struggled to hold onto the – Ecstasy.
I struggled to hold onto the – Pain.
I struggled to hold onto the – Pleasure.
I struggled to hold onto the – Breathing.
I struggled to hold onto the – Suffocating.
I struggled to hold onto the – White.
I struggled to hold onto the – Black.
I struggled to hold onto the – Red.
I begged God to let me live. Please. I gasped for air.
Because now I was certain I was dying.
Death was so close.
Death was so cold.
I screamed out in fear and pain, but I knew no one could hear me. For it was only in my own head.
I made empty promises that I knew I could never keep.
I bargained with God.

I bargained with the Devil.
I didn’t know where I would be heading, but I knew I didn’t want to go.
I struggled to hold onto something . . . anything.
I struggled to find the memories again, but they had slipped away.
Fear and dread overtook me.
Death called for my soul.
Darkness was before me. But, beyond the darkness, lightness also was before me. Not the same

one as before. This one was brighter – much brighter.
Somewhere in the blinding light – I saw my real parents, Charlie and Renée.
They looked exactly as I remembered them.
They looked happy.
A different kind of happy than what we perceive happiness to be, in life.
Their happiness was pure and perfect. God, I could feel it.
Both of my parents beckoned me forward.And, a part of me wanted to go to them.
I saw a five year-old version of me sobbing to go to her mom and dad. The five year-old me begged

the twenty-one year-old me to let go. I knew I would become a part of their happiness.
I sobbed internally.
Death wasn’t playing fair.
My arms ached to hold my parents. The ache for them to hold me was beyond anything imaginable

on earth.
If I could only touch my parents just this once…
It had been so long. The memories had become so faded, but here they were.
The people who had given me life, and loved me, urged me to come to them.
Let go. Give in.
But to give in was to die.
The pull to let go was strong, but I wasn’t ready. Not yet.
My parents’ faces faded to nothingness.
An indescribable darkness engulfed me once more.
I fought to hold my ground, and I struggled to breathe.
The brackish water returned and washed over my body, submerging me.
Warm hands held onto my body loosely, but much larger, icy-cold hands held me in a far tighter

grip, pulling me away. Coldness surrounded me.
I could barely feel the warm hands any longer, but I wanted them to help me.
Keep me here.
A familiar voice broke through the darkness and demanded I hold on. Edward.
I fought to obey as the water disappeared.

I forced myself to hold onto the two distinctly different memories, which I had found again.
I knew if I let either of them go – I would be no more.
Both would hold me here.
Both would keep me alive.
I struggled to continue to find air. It was becoming increasingly more difficult.
Death called for my soul again, unintentionally reminding me to fight like hell.
Death was angry and whispered in an icy voice that It would not be denied. The icy voice seeped

through my every pore, filling me with coldness while draining me of life.
I fought harder with all the strength I could amass.
I clung to the memory of pleasure, while embracing the memory of pain.
In both memories, I held onto Edward for dear life. One literally. One figuratively.
My soul held in limbo. Somewhere between the pull of Life . . . and the pull of Death.

Chapter 21: A Lot of Strength

EPOV
December 13, Monday:
Aro and I were the only two people in the quiet waiting area of the hospital's surgery ward. I took a
sip of my now-cold coffee out of the customary vending machine paper cup.
Hours had passed since our frantic arrival at the Seattle hospital. Bella had been whisked into
surgery to have the single bullet removed from her shoulder, and repair any damage that may have

been done.
It was now after midnight. The small television affixed to the wall above our heads was, thankfully,

on mute. Some late-night talk show host was laughing as he talked with an equally-happy guest. I
looked away; glad I didn't have to hear their laughter.
I silently wondered if I'd ever laugh, or be happy, again.
Not if Bella didn't make it. I knew with certainty that a life without Bella would be a life without

any joy or happiness. It would be a life not worth living.
I ran my fingers through my hair, and covered my face with my hands.
"What's taking so fucking long?" I asked, my voice muffled by my fingers.
I heard Aro's response: "Edward, at this point, no news is good news."
I chuckled sarcastically as I removed my hands from my face and rolled my eyes. Aro was seated
across from me on one of those standard issue hospital waiting room chairs. He had arrived less

than an hour ago, having been driven to the hospital by one of the agents, Felix.
"We still don't know if she's going to live, Aro," I said in a choked voice.
And we didn't. There had been so much blood. I had overheard one of the agency-paramedics
telling Aro that the gunshot wound itself was really not that bad, meaning it hadn't hit any major

arteries.
But the loss of blood was what had been killing Bella as she had lain upon the ground in that lot. It

was severe enough that they had started blood transfusions in the Life Flight helicopter ride to the

hospital.
Aro said nothing in response. He knew I was right.
The minutes passed slowly. The events replayed in my mind.
Bella had put her gun down to save me. Bella was in there fighting for her life when it really should

be me.
We had both tried to save one another.
I had tried to save Bella by pushing her out of the way when she'd stepped in front of me, facing
Victoria. Both of them had fired their guns at the same time. I had tried to protect Bella from being

shot. I wanted Victoria to shoot me instead.
And she would have.
Bella could have shot her, afterward.
However, Victoria's first bullet hit nothing but air.
It had given me time to train my gun on Victoria, but not before she had done the same: train her
gun on me.
Victoria and I had been at a stand-off, and Bella had chosen to put her own gun down, knowing
Victoria would forget all about me if she had that clear shot at Bella.
Even though I had pulled the trigger (at what I thought was) immediately, Victoria had somehow
gotten her shot off within (what had to have been) milliseconds before my bullet reached her.
I thought about how much I loved Bella. I thought about how much more life we still had ahead of
us.
Our relationship was only just beginning.
There was so much more I wanted to do with her.
I wanted to experience and live my life with Bella at my side.
Had I told her I loved her enough times? No.
Had I given her everything I possibly could? No.
I felt guilty as fuck for having gone behind her back to contact Aro. Although I had to remind myself

that if Bella lived, it would be because I had told Aro about Victoria and the documents she had
left on the doorstep.
Aro had mentioned to me, following his arrival here, that the manila envelope Victoria had held
out to Bella contained nothing more than a stack of blank paper.
There had never been any additional documentation to support Victoria's crazy accusations.
Aro had sent an agent to Bella's house to obtain the documents Victoria had left on Bella's

doorstep Saturday morning.
He told me that The Project would run tests on the forged ‘directive' document.
Aro planned on showing Bella the results as soon as they were available, just in case she still had
any doubts regarding some kind of involvement of Aro in her parents' deaths.
Apparently, The Project was still trying to find out how Victoria had obtained the only authentic
documents in the bunch, the ones outlining the details of The Swans' real identities.

Finally, a doctor, dressed in blood-stained scrubs, entered the waiting area. He was one of the

surgeons. Aro and I stood up at the same time.
"Mr. Volturi, I have an update on your daughter." He glanced at me, but was clearly speaking to

Aro.
The surgeon hesitated, appearing to be a little nervous. My heart was in my throat. I had no idea if

he was nervous because he had bad news to deliver, or because Aro was just so fucking
intimidating to people.
I held my breath as the surgeon began to speak again.
"Your daughter is going to live."
The words echoed in my head as Mr. Surgeon continued to speak to Aro, detailing the success of
the surgery.
Bella was going to live.
Bella was going to live.
I sank back down into the chair and let my breath out.
I heard phrases like, "We expect her to recover fully." And, "Your daughter is very fortunate. She

lost a lot of blood, but she's a fighter."
I made a silent promise to myself to be honest with Bella about the offer her dad had made to me

about becoming an agent.
After the events of tonight, I had decided I was going to accept his offer.
But it was only fair to discuss it with Bella before accepting.
I think Aro knew I wanted to accept as soon as possible.
He had treated me as an equal throughout the past two days, sharing confidential information
with me as if I were already part of The Project.
"How soon can I see her?" I asked Mr. Surgeon. I really didn't give a fuck as to what his actual name
was.
"She's in the Recovery Room now. After the anesthetic wears off, she'll be placed in a private room.
So, probably within an hour or two," Mr. Surgeon answered.
As much as I wanted to see Bella as soon as possible, I could wait. The only thing that really
mattered was that Bella was alive.
While Aro and I continued to wait for word that we could see Bella, he began to outline for me
how we were to answer whenever anyone inquired about Bella's injury.
"Edward, when does the new semester begin?"
"Not for a month. Classes start again on January 10th," I answered.
Aro tented his hands and tapped his index fingers to his mouth, apparently contemplating
something.
"From what Dr. Molina says, Bella will still be wearing a sling . . . off and on. It will be best if you
both say she hurt herself skiing." So, Mr. Surgeon did have a name.
More tapping. More contemplating. "How about your family, Edward? I know your parents are out
of the country. What about your sister? Alice, is it?"

"Alice left on Friday night with her boyfriend, Jasper, for Texas," I replied, wondering if Aro already

knew this and was just testing me or some shit. Probably testing me.
"Excellent. When does Alice return?" Aro asked.
"Not until the day before New Year's Eve, December 30th."
Aro seemed to be pleased that there would be no immediate questions about what happened to

Bella, since most everyone we spent time with was out of town for the holidays. Even Emmett and
Rosalie had left Forks to go bask in the sun down in Cabo.
Having been so fucking elated just to know Bella was going to live, I now realized I had no idea
what all would be involved with Bella's recovery.
"What else did the doctor say?" I asked, since I hadn't really been listening when he had been
telling Aro all the details.
"He said Bella suffered very minimal tissue and bone damage, which is extremely fortunate. There
also appears to be no major nerve damage, although Dr. Molina recommended some physical

therapy to aid in a full recovery for Bella." Aro smiled as he finished speaking.
The relief I felt was like an enormous burden being lifted off of my shoulders. Not only would Bella

live, but she'd make a full recovery. With my spirits buoyed by the good news, I decided to ask Aro
another, somewhat superfluous, question.
"Does Bella even now how to ski?" I questioned, in reference to Aro's suggestion that we tell
people Bella got hurt skiing.
Aro actually let out a small chuckle. "Yes, Edward. Bella can ski quite well."
"Oh, okay."
Hell, was there anything Bella couldn't do well?
I was also able to ‘ski quite well,' since Carlisle and Esme had taken me and Alice on a number of

ski trips all over the globe.
I made a mental note that once Bella was fully-healed, we'd have to go skiing together.
Eventually, a nurse came into the waiting area to tell us that Bella was in a private room, and that
we could see her now.
The nurse led us to Bella's room and told us to expect her to be groggy and out-of-it, but, at least,
she was awake.
As the nurse was leaving, Aro turned to me. "Edward, do you want to see her alone for a few
minutes. I can wait."
I was somewhat surprised I was being given such a courtesy. I was sure Aro wanted to see Bella
almost as much as I did. He was her father . . . and he was her boss.
I couldn't help but suspect Aro's generosity was, in part, another tactic to lure me into accepting
his offer. The only thing that stopped me from telling him I had every intention of becoming an

agent, regardless, was that I wanted to tell Bella first.
So, I just said, "Thank you, Aro."
When I walked into the room, I was astounded by the shear number of monitors, tubes, and
needles that were attached to Bella. Her face was much paler than usual, and her eyes were

closed. Her left shoulder and most of her left arm were covered in bandages.
My throat constricted as I sat down in a chair positioned next to her bed, on her right side. With

great effort, I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat.
I looked for a spot that didn't have some kind of fucking needle or monitor attached to it, so I could
just touch her skin.
I finally settled on the side of her right wrist. I ran my index finger along her soft skin, relieved to
find it was no longer cool to the touch, like earlier.
Bella moved slightly. "Edward?" she whispered in a tiny, gravelly voice.
"I'm here, baby." I leaned in close to her ear so she could hear my whispering. "I love you, Bella."
Bella's eyes fluttered open. I moved so that my face was within inches of hers. I wanted to kiss her
lips, but I feared in doing so, even lightly, I would dislodge the tubes going into her nose.
"Victoria?" A flash of what looked like both fear and anger reflected in her eyes.
"She's dead," I whispered back.
"Did you--?" she hesitated.
"I don't know for sure, Bella. I hope it was me, but your dad shot her as well. And, with a much

more powerful rifle."
Bella's groggy-eyes widened. "Aro was there? How did he know?"
As I glanced around at all the equipment, I was reminded that this was not the time to be having
this conversation. Not to mention, Aro was right outside the door. He was probably fucking

listening, even though we were keeping our voices low.
"Bella, that's not important right now. You should rest."
"Edward, how did he know exactly where we were going to be?" Bella's voice was no longer a
whisper, though it was still raspy, and the beeping on one of the monitors was getting louder.
"Bella, quiet. Okay, I'll tell you if you calm down," I said urgently while glancing over at the door.
"Did you tell him?" She was whispering again and the beeping noise was back to a steady rhythm.

"I'm not mad if you did, Edward. You saved my life."
Now this is where she was wrong. "Bella, you saved my life," I corrected before I continued, "And

yeah, I did tell him. I didn't trust Victoria. She was toying with your emotions."
"You did the right thing by contacting my dad, Edward. I wasn't thinking clearly . . . obviously," she

said resignedly.
I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, allowing my lips to linger. "I love you, Bella," I said as I

reluctantly pulled back.
"I love you, too," she replied in a hushed tone.
As if on cue, which made me suspect he had been fucking listening, Aro stepped into the room.
"Dad," Bella croaked as she spotted him in the doorway.
I had to admit, Aro seemed to be both genuinely relieved and pleased to see Bella awake and
coherent, despite everything she had just been through.
I reminded myself that, first and foremost, Bella was a professionally-trained agent. She seemed to
be taking getting shot in stride - just another job hazard that was the reality of being a part of The

Project.
I assumed Aro wanted some time alone with Bella, so I cleared my throat.

"Uh, I'll leave you two alone to talk," I said as I walked towards the door.
Aro handed me a set of keys -- my keys -- as I neared him.
"Edward, I had your Range Rover brought to the hospital parking garage. You will find it on level C,

section 4." I took the keys from his grasp.
"I'm sure there are some things Bella could use from her house for her stay here. Would you be so

kind as to pick them up for her? Additionally, I'm sure you'd like to catch up on some sleep before
you come back." Aro's tone of voice made it sound more like an order than a suggestion, but I

didn't give a fuck. I was too tired, and too elated that Bella was going to be okay, to argue.
So, I nodded in agreement and made my way to the door, but not before turning back to Bella. We

smiled at one another and in that moment, it was as if there was nobody else in this entire fucking
world.
I had no trouble locating my Range Rover in the hospital parking garage. It was exactly where Aro
had said it would be: level C, section 4.
I drove back to Bella's house, exhausted as fuck as everything seemed to catch up to me all at
once. The past forty-eight hours had been eventful enough to have filled forty-eight days.
As I pulled into Bella's driveway, I was barely able to keep my eyes open.
I planned to rest for a few hours, before getting the things together to take back to the hospital for

Bella.
I dragged myself into Bella's house and locked the door behind me. The utter silence of the house

filled my ears. I'd never been in Bella's house without her being here, and it felt as empty as it
fucking sounded.
I ran my fingers through my hair and stumbled to the sofa, where I fell into a dreamless sleep the
minute my head hit the cushions.

*******************************

The sound of the front door closing roused me from the depths of sleep.
What the fuck?
I sat up quickly, my head dizzy. Through the cobwebbed remnants of a deep slumber, I realized I

didn't have my gun. Aro had taken it to send to The Project for analysis or some shit. Fuck.
"Mr. Cullen, my husband said I'd find you here." The charming, female voice startled me, and I

spun around on the sofa to find Jane standing in the living room. Damn - these people were
stealthy as fuck.
She wore a black cape-like wool coat that clasped at the neck, and her blonde hair was pulled back
into a tight bun.
"Mrs. Volturi," I said, still half-asleep. And now stunned, as well.
"Edward, please call me Jane," she said smoothly as she sat down on the chair next to the sofa and

crossed her legs, which appeared to be clad in black slacks.
She certainly was the perfect counterpart for Aro. Both of them smooth, stealthy, cool, and always

calculating.
I met her gaze warily. Certain, by her demeanor, that there was a speech to be heard.
"Jane," I mumbled under my breath, still too fucking sleepy to protest.

"Edward, I have a few things to say to you." She hesitated. "I get the impression you don't like me

very much, even though you seem to have taken a liking to my husband."
I ran my fingers through my hair. "I don't dislike you, Jane. I just don't really know you," I tried to

explain.
She stared at me intently, almost to the point of making me feel physically uncomfortable. She

seemed to be analyzing me or some shit.
She finally spoke. "That's understandable. However, may I ask you a few questions, Edward?"
I had the feeling I had no fucking choice in the matter, so I just nodded.
"Have you considered Aro's offer?"
And so the interrogation begins, I thought to myself.
"Yes, I have," I answered truthfully.
"When will you have your answer for Aro?"
"Soon . . . I want to talk it over with Bella first, Jane."
"We expected as much, Edward. But no matter what Bella says, it is in both of your best interests
to accept," she said with finality.
I knew she was referring to Bella and I having a chance at a future together.
It always came down to the same thing.
How could Bella be with a ‘non-agent' long-term?
Too many secrets would have to be kept. As it were, there would still be secrets when it came to

some of the details of one another's missions.
But that was to be expected.
Additionally, knowing all that I knew was already a liability to The Project. I was certain people in
positions higher than Aro's were pushing him, and Jane, to encourage me to join.
"I realize that," I said quietly.
"Good, Edward. You've proven yourself to be a smart man . . . so far. I fully expect you to make the

right decision."
We sat in silence for a moment before she spoke again, abruptly changing the subject.
"So, has Aro told you our plans for the next two weeks?"
"No," I said, now curious as to what exactly their "plans" entailed.
"Well, Bella will be hospitalized for at least a week, so Aro and I plan on staying here in Forks."
"Here?" I asked, motioning around the room.
"Yes, here," she said smugly. "Until after the holidays, in fact."
I groaned inwardly, but smiled my best smile at Jane. "How nice. I'm sure Bella will be thrilled." I

hoped she didn't pick up on my sarcasm.
Great. So, Bella and I would be spending Christmas with her parents, after all.
After all that had happened, and all I still needed to consider, I had kind of been hoping to have
some fucking quiet time with Bella.
Jane threw me a look of disdain as she rose. "Well, I guess we will find out since I'm heading back

to the hospital now"
Back to the hospital? That meant Jane had already been there, and she hadn't been there when I
had left earlier.
How long had I been sleeping?
I glanced at the clock and saw it was after four o'clock in the afternoon. I had gotten back to Bella's

this morning at eight. Fuck. I had slept way longer than I had intended.
I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair, glancing at Jane warily. She was Bella's mom, for all

intents and purposes. The least I could do was make an attempt to be nice for Bella's sake, even if
they didn't seem to be particularly close.
I took a sobering breath and asked, "Do you want to ride back to the hospital with me?"
Jane looked genuinely surprised at my offer. Wow. Was I that much of an obvious dick in her mind?
"Yes, I'll go with you," she answered.
"Okay." I hesitated. "I just need to grab a few things for Bella . . . like some of her clothes, her

shampoo, and some other things... " I trailed off, realizing I was rambling.
"Fine, Edward. I'll wait."
The drive back to the Seattle hospital was long and uncomfortable, at best. I turned on the car
stereo and found an XM channel with just some standard pop music. I kept the volume at a level

that was not too loud, but enough to make up for our lack of conversation.
After we reached the hospital, I couldn't get back to Bella's room fast enough. I was kind of fucking

amazed that Jane was able to keep up with my long strides with no problem whatsoever, seeing
that she was so tiny in stature.
Bella looked amazingly better than she had early in the morning. She was sitting up and talking
with Aro. They were both smiling, so I assumed they had worked everything out.
Bella's eyes lit up as I entered the room. "Cullen, we were beginning to think you decided to sleep
the entire day away," she teased.
Since the short December day had ushered in the darkness already, she wasn't too far off in her
accusation.
"Swan, you must be feeling better. I see your smart-ass attitude has made a re-appearance," I
teased her in return as I walked over to her bed and leaned down to kiss her forehead.
The damn tubes and monitors were all still hooked up and beeping, reminding me that, despite
our lighthearted banter, Bella was still lying in a hospital bed recovering from a gunshot wound.
I almost forgot Aro and Jane were in the room with us, until I felt their eyes upon us. I glanced over
at Aro, who motioned for me to join him outside of the room.
"Um, Bella, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm sure your mom would like some time alone with you,"
I said as nonchalantly as I could.
Bella frowned, but nodded. She looked at me, and Aro, suspiciously. I knew the sooner I could talk
to Bella, the better I would feel about wanting to accept Aro's offer. But I couldn't exactly discuss it

with her less than twenty-four hours after her surgery.
Aro and The Project were just going to have to wait.
I followed Aro into the empty hallway outside of Bella's room.

I looked at Aro with one eyebrow raised questioningly.
"Edward, I know you want to discuss joining The Project with Bella first, and that's fine. But we
need an answer soon. Preferably no later than, say, sometime Christmas day," Aro said stoically.
"What's the hurry?" I asked in return, genuinely curious.
I mean, Victoria was dead. What was the sudden rush? Maybe Aro had received some kind of

information on how Victoria had obtained those documents, both the authentic ones and the
forged ones.
Aro's answer interrupted my musings. "There is a mission I need to attend to before the end of the
year. It can wait until the day after Christmas. However, I'd like your answer to our offer before

then."
"Why?"
"Because, Edward, if your answer is yes, I'd like for you to accompany me on this particular
mission. Felix will be going as well. Your only role would be to observe our actions." He paused

meaningfully and added, "And for us to observe yours."
"Where would we be going?" I asked as I tried to wrap my head around the concept of actually

accompanying these agents on a mission, even if it were only for "observation" purposes.
Aro smiled, but there was no humor behind it. "Denver," he answered.

Chapter 22: Reason

BPOV
December 25: Christmas Day:
I was at the kitchen sink trying to sneak in some dishwashing, which wasn't easy with the use of

only one arm, when I felt Edward's strong arms wrap around my waist.
"What do you think you're doing, Bella?" His warm breath tickled my ear as he pressed his growing

hardness against my ass.
With my breathing uneven, I closed my eyes and grinded my ass back against him, thankful for the

layers of clothing to keep us in check. Oh, that, and the fact that my parents were in my living
room, mere yards away from us.
"We'd better stop," I said in a husky tone, while continuing to grind my ass against Edward's now
fully-engorged cock. I could feel the outline of his hardness oh-so-perfectly through the thin

material of my black slacks.
It was getting increasingly difficult to stop, since we had yet to resume any kind of sexual contact

since the morning of my being shot.
The hospital released me four days prior to Christmas. Aro and Jane had been staying at my house

in Forks, while Edward had stayed at his own house. However, all three spent more time in my
hospital room than at either of those two locations.
After the nurse had given Edward detailed instructions on how to help clean my wound, which was
looking better every day, he informed me he was going to stay at my house with me . . . and

Aro . . . and Jane.
I remembered mentally rolling my eyes, imagining the ensuing chaos of those three in such close

quarters.

Surprisingly, everyone was on their best behavior. For my sake, I assumed. However, things became

crystal clear once Edward informed me of Aro's oh-so-interesting offer to Edward to become an
agent of The Project.
That tidbit had been revealed to me during my first night back home.
I couldn't say I was entirely surprised. Aro had alluded to as much throughout our many

discussions while I was still hospitalized.
In fact, Aro had revealed many things with uncharacteristic candor.
For example, he confirmed that my biological parents had indeed been agents of The Project.
He still was awaiting clearance-which I knew may, or may not, come from the higher powers within

The Project-to discuss exactly what roles my parents had played within the agency.
Even though I no longer believed Aro, nor The Project, had had anything to do with their deaths,

Aro still insisted on showing me all of the documentation that debunked Victoria's crazy claims that
there had ever been any kind of agency directive to kill Charlie and Renée.
Regarding Edward, Aro continuously praised his actions from the night Victoria had been killed. He
was particularly impressed Edward had had the foresight to contact him when I had not.
I felt incredibly guilty for not having trusted Aro enough to contact him on my own, especially after
the ballistics and autopsy reports came back indicating it had been Aro's direct shot to Victoria's

heart that had killed her instantly.
Edward's shot to her abdomen would probably have killed her. But, it had been Aro's direct hit that

had ensured her death.
Which reminded me, I had yet to give Edward his real Christmas gift.
We'd already opened our gifts with Aro and Jane, while seated around a fir tree Edward had taken
upon himself to decorate in the most adorable way that only he could.
Let's just say, decorating was the first thing I'd witnessed that Edward did not excel in.
Although, he had given it a good try with strings of clear lights and multi-colored glass ornaments

he had brought over from his house. But he just didn't seem to possess the same "decorating"
gene that his sister, Alice, did.
"You shouldn't be washing the dishes, Bella," Edward said, moving from behind to stand beside
me.
"Someone has to do them, Edward. I'm not going to ask Jane after she was nice enough to make
the dinner," I explained.
Edward chuckled as a smile played on my lips, because the sight of Jane preparing the Christmas
dinner had been quite amusing. She had chopped the vegetables with astonishing vigor, replete

with a string of expletives I usually only heard coming from Edward's mouth . . . not my mom's.
Jane's obvious frustration with cooking had ensured that Aro, Edward, and I had stayed safely out

of the path of her knife-wielding endeavors.
Everything had turned out to be surprisingly delicious, making me wonder what other "normal"

talents Jane was keeping under wraps.
A waft of lemony dishwashing liquid filled my nose as Edward began to wash the dishes.
"I'll finish them," he said.
I stood back slightly. Edward's incredible sexiness never failing to amaze me. Only he could make a

mundane task, like washing the dishes, look sexy. It was the first time I was actually happy that this

house in Forks didn't have a dishwasher.
"Do you know how hot you are?" I asked.
Edward laughed and glanced over at me. I watched as his lips turned up into a grin, and tiny little
laugh lines appeared at the corners of his eyes.
"How hot am I, Bella?" he teased, hands swiftly and adeptly running the dishcloth over the surface
of a dinner plate.
A tiny stream of soapy water trailed along his forearm as his muscles flexed. Edward was wearing a
tight, white t-shirt, having discarded the white dress shirt he'd had on over the t-shirt earlier in the

day. His black dress slacks were belted at his waist, further accentuated the v-shape of his torso.
"Very hot," I sighed.
Edward placed the last washed dish onto the dish rack to dry and turned to me, leaning back
against the sink.
His emerald eyes burned with lust, and I knew he could probably see that same look in my eyes.
"Do you want to go to bed?" he asked. His voice was low and thick. I knew he didn't mean to sleep.
Just as I was about to say "hell, yes," I heard the tinkle of Jane's laughter from the living room,
reminding me that we weren't alone.
I rolled my eyes, but Edward was undeterred.
"It's getting late, Bella. I sleep here every night with you, anyway."
"Yeah, but, we've been just sleeping, Edward," I reminded him.
I felt a little bit weird about doing anything, other than sleeping, with Edward while my parents

were still here. Although, I couldn't be sure how much longer their presence was going to inhibit
our desire for one another.
"Well, I actually do have another gift for you, and it is upstairs." Edward's eyes were full of trouble,
the good kind.
My gift for him was upstairs as well. "I have something for you, too," I replied.
Edward raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "Not that," I scolded playfully as I caught his

eyes travelling to the visible cleavage in my clingy, teal blue pullover that covered most of the small
bandage on my left shoulder. I had discarded my sling earlier in the day, the need to wear it waning

as time passed.
We said our good-nights to Aro and Jane as we passed by the living room to head up the stairs. Aro

and Jane were in the midst of drinking a bottle of wine, so they seemed more animated than usual.
After we reached my bedroom, I retrieved Edward's gift from one of the dresser drawers.
I kicked off my black pumps and handed Edward his real gift, wrapped in shiny, silver foil paper and
a big, black silk bow.
Edward reached into the pocket of his pants and handed me a small, robin egg blue box with a
white silk ribbon, obviously a gift from Tiffany's. It was small, but shaped differently from a ring

box, so I knew it wasn't that.
"You open your gift first," I said excitedly.
Edward tore away the wrapping paper, and opened the box to reveal a brand new Glock 22,

identical to the one I carried. Edward looked exceptionally happy with my choice.
It wasn't just the gun that was his gift. By giving him the gun, I was offering him my full support to
accept Aro's offer to become part of The Project.
I knew he wanted to accept. He had told me as much, more than once.
"Thank you, Bella," he whispered as his eyes met mine. I could see the gratitude. I knew Edward

wanted my backing before talking to Aro. Now, he had it.
"Do you want to talk to my dad before we go to bed?" I asked, knowing Aro had originally asked for

Edward's answer no later than sometime today.
"I think it can wait until early tomorrow morning." Edward paused, the mischievous glint in his

eyes returning. "Besides, he and Jane seem to be enjoying themselves with their wine and all.
Maybe we should give them some privacy," he said teasingly, his remark laden with insinuation.
"Please, Edward." I grimaced, not caring to picture what Edward was implying.
"Now, open your gift." Edward motioned to the box I still held in my right hand.
I slipped the satin ribbon off, and flipped the lid off with my right thumb. I really wasn't able to use
my left hand well enough to open the box inside, so Edward opened it for me. I gasped in delight

as I saw a perfect pair of heart-shaped diamond stud earrings, their brilliance dazzling under the
light from my bedroom lamp.
"Thank you, Edward. I love them," I gushed in sincerity.
"One represents my heart, and the other represents your heart," Edward stated simply, but

lovingly.
I was touched by Edward's very romantic gesture. He had obviously put a lot of thought into the

gift he had chosen for me.
"I feel a little bad, Edward. I mean, you've given me such a meaningful gift, and I gave you a gun," I

lamented as I ran my index finger absently over the platinum and diamonds.
"Don't be silly, Bella. It's not the gun itself, though it is nice and shiny, too," he teased, before

continuing in a more serious tone, "It's the meaning behind it that I appreciate the most. I know
I'm making a decision you have misgivings about. But the fact that you are willing to still support

my decision means more to me than you could ever imagine." Edward reached over and ran his
fingertips softly down the side of my face, before tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.
His voice became even more serious as he whispered, "Bella, you've already given me the two best
gifts anyway. You are alive, and you love me."
"I do love you, Edward," I sighed, turning my face so I could kiss the inside of Edward's palm.
We stood there for a moment before Edward began to help me get undressed and into the t-shirt I

liked to sleep in, the grey faded 'Forks Football' one that belonged to him.
Edward had already checked my wound, and changed my bandage earlier. The doctor was

extremely pleased at how well my wound was healing. The only scar, a tiny circular entrance
wound. All the bruising and swelling had subsided. It still hurt like hell to use my left arm, but it

was getting a little bit better every day.
Edward got undressed, leaving only his boxer briefs on, and climbed into bed next to me. He

turned off the lamp on my night stand, and I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the
room. I was pretty certain Edward wanted to have sex, and I was more than ready.

"Are you sleepy, Bella?" Edward asked.
"Not really. Are you?" I replied.
Edward propped himself up on his left elbow and leaned down, his lips brushing softly over mine.

"No," he answered as he kissed me, this time nudging my mouth open with his lips.
Our tongues met and we kissed deeply, until our breathing became uneven.
"I love you, Bella," Edward whispered into my ear as his fingers traced up the inside of my right
thigh. I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensations my body craved.
My breathing hitched as he pushed my t-shirt up to just above my waist, and then slipped his
fingers back down and under the fabric of my panties.
Edward worked his fingers skillfully along my wet folds, eliciting a stifled gasp from me.
While focusing on trying to remain as quiet as possible, I felt the loss of Edward's warm fingers.

But, within seconds, Edward was pulling my panties down the length of my legs, and off. He
pushed my legs further apart, his tongue tracing the path his fingers had just taken along the inside

of my right thigh. His tongue, even more skillfully than his fingers, now worked over my slick folds
and playfully taunted my clit. I moaned quietly, but restrained myself from calling out his name.

With his tongue and fingers, Edward worked me to a mind-blowing orgasm. I was almost certain I
saw stars.
As I was coming down from my euphoria, Edward removed his boxer briefs and knelt between my
legs. Positioning the head of his cock at my core, he slowly moved his full length along my wetness.
"So beautiful," he murmured.
I arched my back in an effort to gain more friction.
Edward leaned forward, but was careful not to put any of his weight along my upper body.
"Bella, I don't want to hurt your shoulder." He hesitated.
"It doesn't hurt." It was a small lie, because my shoulder was starting to develop a dull ache from
my movement.
But I wanted Edward. I didn't care if it made my shoulder ache. I didn't care if my parents heard us.
In that moment, I just wanted Edward to fuck me senseless.
"Edward," I whispered, my voice hoarse with lust, "I don't want to make love, I want to fuck."
Edward let out a strangled groan as he pushed his cock partially into me, before hesitated again. I

writhed against him, but he stilled my movements by placing his hands on my hips.
"Bella, don't move so much. You're going to fuck up your shoulder," he said in a low, albeit lust-

fueled voice.
"Please, Edward. Don't stop," I pleaded.
He didn't answer, instead pushing himself fully into me. We both exhaled loudly at the same time.
God – he felt so fucking good.
It took all my restraint, but I tried not to move too much. Edward moved in and out of me slowly at
first, but then, thankfully, increased his pace.
I didn't think I'd be able to come again, because the burning in my shoulder was distracting me,
but when Edward began to complete each forceful push with a circular motion while he was fully

inside of me, I did come again. Hard.

I listened to the sounds of our sex - slippery, wet smacking sounds punctuated by our ragged

breathing. Edward began to really thrust into me, before suddenly stilling, his cock pulsating inside
of me.
Edward leaned down carefully and placed a soft kiss on my lips, before rolling onto his back. He
grasped my right hand in his, our fingers intertwined.
As our breathing returned to normal, Edward brought my hand to his lips.
"Merry Christmas, Bella," he mumbled against my skin as he kissed my hand.
"It's not Christmas anymore, Edward," I reminded him, pulling my hand away in jest. I noticed the
time on my bedside alarm clock indicated it was after one o'clock in the morning.
"Merry day-after Christmas, then," Edward chuckled as he propped himself back up on his left
elbow. He gazed down at me. Even though it was too dark to be able to really discern what

expression his eyes held, I could see the playfulness in his crooked smile.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"Just hoping Aro and Jane didn't hear anything," I answered truthfully.
Edward's lips grazed along my right ear, his hot breaths tickling my neck as he kissed his way to my

lips.
"They were … probably … busy doing the … same thing … we were … just doing," he said teasingly

between kisses.
"Thanks, Edward. Now I'll have to bleach my brain to rid my mind of that image," I lamented

playfully.
I lifted my left arm, momentarily forgetting about my injury, to push him away in mock offense.
Instead, I cried out in pain. Edward swiftly turned the lamp on. I cringed as I saw Edward's playful
expression turn deadly serious.
"Bella, did I hurt you?" Edward's eyes were pained.
"I'm fine," I lied. My shoulder really was starting to hurt a lot. I could feel wetness in my bandage,

so I was fairly certain my wound was bleeding.
"Let me see," Edward said quietly.
I relented and sat up so Edward could pull my t-shirt over my head. Simultaneously, we both
looked down at my bandage to see a tiny circle of bright, red blood that had soaked through to the

surface.
Edward ran his fingers through his hair and cursed under his breath.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I should have known better. It's still too soon," Edward mumbled as he carefully
removed my bandage to assess the damage.
I couldn't stand to see Edward chastise himself for something I had fully participated in.
"Edward, it's not your fault. I wanted to," I reminded him.
Edward got up, and retrieved the clean bandages and supplies from my dresser top. I took a better
look at my shoulder. It didn't look much worse; it just looked like the wound had bled a little from

all the movement.
I winced as Edward sat back down next to me on the bed, and began to apply the antiseptic.
"I'm still sorry, Bella."

"Please stop apologizing, Edward. It's fine."
Placing a fresh bandage on my shoulder, Edward looked up into my eyes. "It's not fine, Bella.
Hurting you is not fine," he said pointedly.
I rolled my eyes and allowed Edward to finish re-bandaging me. I huffed in resignation, knowing
Edward wouldn't have sex with me again until I was further healed.
"I guess that means a morning fuck is out of the question?" I asked sarcastically, attempting to
make a joke of the whole matter.
"Not funny, Bella," Edward chastised.
I rolled my eyes again, because I felt he was over-reacting. No real damage had been done. Edward

could be so overprotective.
"Whatever," I said dismissively.
Edward ran his fingers through his hair, and I had the distinct impression there was something
more he wanted to say.
"We'd have to wait anyway, Bella." He paused.
A nagging feeling crept over me that Edward was using this as an opportunity to tell me something

he had been keeping quiet. Something in my gut told me it surely had to do with The Project,
reminding me of why I had been hesitant to have Edward become a part of it.
"Why is that, Edward?"
"Well," Edward began slowly, "your dad told me that if I accept his offer, I have to go with him and

Felix on a mission the day after Christmas . . . uh, tomorrow."
I sighed in exasperation. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"
Edward looked at me guiltily as he spoke, "I guess I was worried you wouldn't be as supportive of
my decision if you knew about that particular stipulation."
I took his hand in mine. "Edward, I can't say I'm surprised. I'm sure Aro wants to observe your
reactions on an actual mission. You should have told me, though. I support your decision. I may

have my misgivings, but I'm not going to waver on you, "I assured him.
Edward cast me a wary glance. "I just wasn't so sure you'd be so supportive when you found out

where we have to go."
I bit my lip and asked in the calmest voice I could manage, "Where do you have to go, Edward?"
"Denver."
I swallowed hard. Both Edward and I knew James had been killed in Denver, and Victoria had been

in Denver in November.
Surely, The Project had discovered some sort of connection to those two rogue agents in Denver. It

probably had something to do with who had been funding James and Victoria. Someone had been
paying out large sums of money. Enough money for James to have been able to afford luxuries in

Seattle. And, for Victoria to have been able to travel quickly and easily from one place to the next.
Not to mention, Victoria's ability to obtain both authentic, confidential documents, as well as

those forged ones.
Whoever had been funding their operations, unfortunately, seemed to be one step ahead of The

Project too frequently for my liking.

My fear was that it was somebody with connections to another agency - maybe the FBI or CIA.
In any case, even if Edward was accompanying Aro and Felix in the role of an observer, it would still
be dangerous. Missions were always dangerous.
"I guess I'm glad I gave you a Glock for Christmas, after all," I said in jest, though my voice was
humorless.
"Bella, I'll be fine," Edward said without conviction, squeezing my hand in reassurance.
We both heard a creak in the hallway, and footsteps on the stairs. From the heaviness of them, it

sounded like it was Aro.
Edward must have thought the same thing, he looked at me questioningly.
"That was probably Aro going downstairs. You should go tell him your decision. Especially since
you'll have to leave with him tomorrow," I said resignedly.
Edward nodded and stood up, releasing my hand. I watched him as he slipped on a pair of pajama
bottoms that hung low on his waist and a t-shirt. He kissed the top of my head before slipping out

of my room, quietly closing the door behind him.
I fell back against the mattress and covered my eyes with my good arm.
I silently hoped Edward was making the right decision. Once he had spoken with Aro, there would
be no turning back . . . ever.
Did I do the right thing by supporting him?
I wasn't sure if he would have said no, even if I hadn't offered my support, but I was sure my

backing made his decision more resolute.
Being in The Project would bind us together forever, even more so than a marriage. It could also

separate us . . . forever.
I sighed.
Once Edward and I had fallen in love, had there ever really been a choice?
My thoughts clouded as sleep overtook me.
Some time later, I felt the bed shift as Edward slid under the covers. Laying on my right side, I
opened my eyes to see him lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.
I could only assume the gravity of his decision was sinking in.
I knew one thing that would weigh on Edward was that he could never tell his family what he had
become.
He'd be expected to lie to them. And, do it well.
When Edward would be sent on a mission, they would be blissfully unaware of the level of danger

their son, or their brother, was in.
His life would ultimately be dictated by the agency. Death could come at any time, as I had seen

with Jacob.
Death had also come to me. It just hadn't been successful the night I had been shot. I remembered

everything about that night, including my struggle between life and death. I hadn't told anybody
the details, not even Edward. I was still trying to come to terms with it in my own personal way.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Edward finally answered, breaking me away from my thoughts.
"Did Aro give you any more details about tomorrow?" I asked, and then added, "I mean, anything
you are allowed to share."
Edward turned to me. He slipped his hand under his pillow, elevating his head slightly higher than
mine.
"Bella, I plan on telling you even the things I am told not to. No secrets. Remember?" He reached
over and caressed my cheek. I nodded against the warmth of his palm.
"Was there anything you were told not to tell me?" I asked. My curiosity was piqued.
"Not about this trip. I think Aro is keeping most of the details to himself. He only told me we leave

tomorrow afternoon, and we should be back by Wednesday, at the latest."
"Did he say anything about the nature of the mission?"
"He used the phrase 'fact finding' when describing it. Does that mean anything to you?" he asked.
I told him everything I knew, not knowing if Aro wanted Edward to know that much or not.

Probably not, but I didn't care. Edward would always be my first priority.
Edward seemed to be intrigued that his first mission, even though it was only in the role of an

observer, had some connection to finding out who had been funding James and Victoria.
Aro knew I had given Edward a Glock for Christmas. It was registered with The Project.
Edward wouldn't be getting his Beretta back anytime soon, if at all. The Project issued weapons to
their agents; you didn't provide your own.
Since Edward was to be an observer, not an active participant, I was curious if my dad had told him
to bring his new gift. If he had requested Edward be armed, it would indicate the mission was far

more dangerous than either of us suspected.
"Did Aro tell you to bring your gun?" I asked, trying to sound as casual about it as possible.
"Yes," Edward answered.

Chapter 23: A Part of You

EPOV
December 27, Monday:
I tried to imagine what Bella was doing as I sat, bored as fuck, in the living room area of Aro's
luxuriously-appointed suite in the downtown Denver hotel we were staying in.
I listened to Aro and Felix's hushed tones in the adjoining conference-style room. Obviously, they
were discussing something they didn't want me to know. Despite their attempt at secrecy, I still

caught words and phrases. The name Caius was mentioned, more than once. I gathered he was the
one who had been funding James and Victoria. I caught something about someone being a retired

CIA agent with an agenda of his own, specifically creating 'problems' for The Project. Maybe they
were referring to this Caius person? Who the fuck knew? Certainly not I.
I exhaled in frustration, shifting my weight on the plush leather sofa.
Quickly tiring of eavesdropping on a conversation clearly not meant for my ears, my thoughts

returned to Bella. I had spoken to her very briefly this morning, and she had told me Jane was
going to be taking her to lunch, and to her doctor's appointment this afternoon. It was time for a

check-up to see how her shoulder was healing.
That was another thing bothering the fuck out of me. I wanted to be the one to take Bella to her
doctor's appointment. I worried Bella would play down anything negative regarding her recovery in

an effort to spare my feelings. I was still feeling guilty as fuck for exacerbating her injury on
Saturday night with our overly vigorous, er . . . activities.
Glancing at the time on the television control box, I saw it was after one o'clock in the afternoon.
I raked my fingers through my hair and picked up the remote control. Did I really feel like watching

fucking television? Not particularly.
Instead, I mulled over how the 'mission' had unfolded, so far, here in Denver.
After yesterday's private flight, with Aro and Felix, from Seattle to Denver, we had left the airport
and been transported, via limo, to the hotel we were currently staying in.
I was given a key card to my own suite, which was directly next to two other suites, one for Aro and
the other for Felix.
Aro had requested I meet the two of them in the lobby, within an hour of checking in.
He had also told me to carry my gun with me at all times. I had almost rolled my eyes at him. I

didn't need to be fucking told to carry my Glock.
I guess, as the director, it was his job to make sure all agents, or agents-in-training such as myself,

were given reminders of things that would fall into the category of standard operating procedure.
After meeting them in the lobby, the three of us had proceeded to a black Mercedes sedan with

tinted windows that a valet brought around to the hotel entrance. When Aro and the valet
exchanged a quick look of recognition, I ascertained that the valet was surely some kind of an

agent as well.
With Aro driving, and Felix in the passenger seat, I had sat quietly in the back. Small talk about the

weather and shit were the only things any of us discussed as we drove to the outskirts of Denver.
As darkness fell, we reached an old, industrial-looking part of town. The entire area appeared to be

deserted. Old, abandoned factories and warehouses dotted the otherwise barren landscape.
Felix motioned to an old, dilapidated red brick warehouse, "This is the one," he said to Aro.
Aro slowed the Mercedes to an almost-crawl. "Tomorrow evening, then?" he asked Felix.
Naturally, his question sounded more like a statement. Or, an order.
Felix nodded, and then asked, "Are we bringing him?" He tilted his head in my direction.
I cleared my throat, annoyed as fuck that Felix would speak as if I weren't sitting right fucking

behind them.
Aro had chuckled. "Edward, would you like to join us tomorrow evening?" Like I had a fucking

choice in the matter.
"Sure," I had answered, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Aro, and Felix, had remained quiet the rest of the drive back to the hotel. If my sarcasm had been
noted, neither of those two had given me any indication.
So, here I sat, bored and wondering why I had even been asked to accompany Aro and Felix on this
mission. Nobody was telling me anything. Besides our drive to the old, industrial area last evening,

I had spent all of the last twenty hours, or so, holed up in the hotel suites.

Just then, Aro and Felix came out of the adjoining room. My frustration was mounting, so I threw

caution to the wind as I addressed Aro. "Look, are you going to let me in on what the fuck is going
on around here?" I said agitatedly.
I knew I had no right to ask, but I was beyond giving a fuck.
Aro eyed me, seemingly amused at my outburst, while Felix quietly retreated back to the

conference room. "Edward, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but there are some things that will not
be shared with you. Surely, you are aware of how all this works by now?" he raised his eyebrows

questioningly, much like I often did.
I stood and began to pace around the room. "I do, Aro. But I just need to hear something from you.

I don't expect you to tell me everything, but you haven't told me anything. I don't even know why
you want me here." I finished speaking and leaned against the back of a leather chair, directly

across from where Aro stood, listening intently.
"Edward, you aren't here to actively participate in this mission, you're here to observe and to be

observed. Remember?" Aro stated calmly. He then added cryptically, and more to himself than to
me, "Besides, you've already proven yourself."
Surely, he was referring to my actions the night of the Victoria confrontation.
Even though The Project had determined it was Aro's bullet that had killed Victoria, I had still shot

her. With no hesitation.
Would my shot have been fatal to Victoria . . . if Aro's had not?
Possibly.
Probably.
If so, did that make me a killer?
Is that what Aro was saying? That I had proven myself by shooting Victoria.
I knew it was, but I still wanted confirmation.
"How have I proven myself, Aro? By shooting Victoria?"
Aro nodded slowly. "Yes, Edward. Your actions were swift and instinctual. You also gained my trust
when you were brave enough to contact me when my daughter did not," he added.
I looked down at the grain of the leather of the chair I was leaning on. I ran my index finger along
the cool surface distractedly.
I was a little fucking bothered by my lack of remorse at shooting another human being, even if it
was Victoria.
I had been trying to defend the woman I loved.
Is that why it didn't really bother me? I hoped that was the only reason. Or, was I no different than

Aro?
As if Aro could read my thoughts, his next words were, "Edward, I see some of myself in you." Then

he added with a smile, "When I was much younger, of course."
I fucking shuddered. Although I had grown to like Aro somewhat, I certainly did not want to be like

him.
"Aro…." I started hesitantly. After a pause, I continued, "No offense, but I have no desire to ever

become an … assassin."

Aro laughed. "None taken, Edward. In fact, your words remind me of my daughter's words . . .

before September."
"How do you mean?" I asked. My curiosity was piqued.
"She, much like you, had no desire to ever become an assassin." He paused. "However, when it
came down to it, she – again, much like you - was willing to kill for someone she loved."
I winced at both the reference to Jacob, and the fact that Bella had indeed once loved him, much
to my chagrin.
Aro's words also served as a painful reminder that Bella had been willing to kill for someone she
had once loved. And, her target had been me.
I swallowed the bile that had risen in my throat, and struggled to keep my anger in check. "I don't
want to talk about what Bella's fucking mission had been, Aro. She and I are way past that

bullshit."
Aro threw me an apologetic look. Whether it was sincere or not, I could not tell.
"Edward, I don't wish to bring up touchy subjects. My only point is that you never know what you
are truly capable of until you are put in that position. Did you shoot Victoria to save Bella, or not?"
He was correct. "Yeah, I did," I whispered.
Maybe I was no different than Aro, after all.
I wondered how he had become an assassin for The Project. Was it just because he was the best
shot in the organization? Or had there been some event that had showed the agency exactly what

Aro was capable of?
Bella had also shot at Victoria in an effort to save me from being shot.
And, I knew, with full certainty, that Bella and I had both shot with the intent to kill.
Maybe Bella and I were more like Aro than either of us were willing to admit. I didn't care to think

of the fucking implications, if that were true.
Aro must have sensed my inner turmoil. In a sincere tone of voice, he said, "Edward, no matter

what you are thinking, you must recognize that your actions, ultimately, saved Bella."
It was my only saving grace.
Aro sighed resignedly. "Tonight, Felix and I are going to complete this mission. We found the
person we were looking for – the man who was funding James and Victoria."
Surprised at his sudden candidness about the mission, I said nothing.
I knew what would happen to this person tonight. I could only guess it was the man I had

overheard Aro and Felix mentioning, the man named Caius.
"We're going back to the industrial area, tonight?" I asked, reaching to the back of my waistband to

adjust the grip of my gun, reassuring myself.
"Not we, Edward. Just Felix and I are going tonight. I'm sending you back to Forks. Felix and I will

return tomorrow morning."
"Is it because of this conversation? Is that why you're sending me back early?" I asked.
Aro laughed. "Not at all, Edward. Your part of the mission is complete. You've had the chance to
observe . . . and I have observed you." He looked at me meaningfully. "You should know I am very

impressed with your ability to remain calm under pressure, not to mention the honesty and

straightforwardness you've demonstrated today in our discussion…."
I really wasn't listening to Aro's assessment anymore as I realized I would be seeing Bella later
tonight, two days earlier than what I had expected.
Besides, I was fucking tired of all the heavy agency talk. My biggest concern now was whether or
not to surprise Bella with my early return.
I did catch snippets of information. One of the agency cars would drop me off at the Denver
airport. My flight would land in Seattle by six o'clock tonight. Another agency car, one usually

reserved for transporting Aro around Forks when he didn't care to drive, would pick me up at Sea-
Tac and drive me to Forks.
On the way to the airport in Denver, I decided to call Bella, on the 'work' cell, of course. I liked the
idea of surprising her, but remembered Jane was there. It was probably best to let Bella know what

was going on, since Jane sure as fuck already knew, courtesy of her husband.
Bella sounded more than excited that I was coming home early. In fact, she seemed to be in an

exceptionally great mood. I gave her a quick summary of the past day or so, and she expressed
relief that Aro had decided not to have me participate in the final part of the mission.
The flight back to Washington was boring as fuck. I was in first-class, and an attractive flight
attendant kept trying to flirt with me. I had absolutely no interest, so I feigned sleep, hoping she'd

leave me the fuck alone.
I just wanted to get back home. Home to Bella.
After racing through baggage claim, and out to the awaiting agency-car, I finally breathed a sigh of
relief that the mission was over. At least, for me.
After the long drive to Forks, the car finally pulled up to Bella's house.
Bella must have heard the car. She was waiting in the doorway, with the front door open, her arms

wrapped around her to shield her from the cold, night air.
I smiled at her as I entered her house, while Bella closed the door behind us. After dropping my

travel bag unceremoniously onto the floor, I leaned down to kiss Bella's lips, careful not to bump
into her left shoulder.
I noticed she wasn't wearing her sling. The doctors had told her she didn't have to wear it
continuously. I was glad, but I had to remind myself not to fucking forget about her injury, even just

for a moment, and hurt her. I still felt bad about the other night.
"How's your shoulder feel?" I murmured against her lips.
Bella pulled away slightly, her eyes meeting mine with a flirtatious look. "It feels fine, Edward. The
doctor said it's healing perfectly." She lowered her voice, "The doctor also said there is no reason

why we can't engage in activities like the other night." Her eyes darkened with lust. My cock
twitched, and I was sure Bella felt it since it was pressed against her stomach.
"What about the bleeding the other night?" I asked. I felt like a fucking pervert asking her medical
questions while sporting a fucking hard-on.
"He said that's normal. No damage was done. He said we just shouldn't get overly rambunctious,"
Bella giggled.
"What? No sex while hanging from the chandeliers?" I teased, pretending to be genuinely
disappointed.
Bella laughed and answered in a breathy voice, "Right, no chandeliers."

It was good to see her so happy. She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed her hips against mine,

shifting her body to feel my erection.
"Where's Jane?" I asked, as I had a disturbing image of her mom sauntering into the hallway, in

typical Jane-fashion, with no regard at all for our privacy.
"She's in the kitchen."
I pulled away, and felt my erection start to subside. "What?" I said, louder than I intended.
Bella giggled again, and I started to think that the doctor may have given her some kind of pain

pills that were making her giddy or some shit.
"Did that doctor give you some kind of fucking pills to make you not think clearly?" I asked, only

partially in jest. "Jane could walk in here at any time," I added, more seriously.
Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs, while she spoke, "Nope, no drugs,

Edward. Can't a girl just be happy to see her boyfriend?"
I started up the stairs, trailing behind Bella. "Of course, Bella," I said in a husky voice, cupping her

ass as we reached the top of the stairs.
Bella leaned back into my hand and sighed loudly. She turned to face me. "Kiss me," Bella

demanded.
I leaned down very slowly and caught Bella's top lip between mine, pulling gently, before nudging

her mouth open. Our tongues met tentatively, before our kiss slowly deepened.
Only the sound of the front door opening broke us apart.
"Jane?" I whispered, leaning my forehead against Bella's.
Before Bella had the chance to answer, Jane's voice traveled up the stairs. "Bella, I'm going out to

get some groceries. I'll be back in an hour, or so."
Bella pulled away from me to yell down her response, "Okay, Mom." Bella glanced up at me, her

eyes full of mischief once more. "By the way, Edward's back. You probably didn't hear him come
in."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "Bad girl, Swan," I chastised. I had been kind of hoping Jane hadn't
heard me come in, or noticed my travel bag in the hallway.
"Oh, I know he's back, Bella," she said in a tone that indicated to me that she knew exactly what
we had been doing in the hallway, and, now, at the top of the staircase.
Jane closed the front door, leaving before Bella could respond.
Bella tilted her head slightly to the side. "So, Cullen, since I've been a 'bad girl,' what do you

propose my punishment should be?"
Fuck. Bella really was in rare form tonight. I pressed my body against Bella once again, backing her

up against the wall. I positioned myself so that none of my weight fell on her left shoulder, but the
rest of her body was pinned against the wall.
Bella's breasts heaved against my chest as her breathing grew more rapid.
I lowered myself slightly so that my cock pushed into her hip.
I pushed her hair back and whispered into her right ear, "Swan. I don't think you are in any
condition for the punishment I have in store for you. We may have to wait until your shoulder is in

better condition, but then…." I trailed my lips down her neck softly, and then I grazed my teeth
back up her neck, covering her skin with gentle bites.

Bella groaned and grinded against my cock. "Cullen, I want you . . . now," she said as she grabbed

my hair with her right hand.
Knowing we were alone, I slid Bella's sweatpants and panties down swiftly. As she stepped out of

them, I unzipped my black jeans and slipped them off with my boxer briefs. Both of us kicked off
our shoes at the same time.
Bella stood, clothed only in a thin, white t-shirt and bra that I could clearly see the outline of
through her shirt. I realized I still had on my black leather jacket, so I slipped it off and let it fall to

the floor of the upstairs hall, leaving me in only my red t-shirt.
I grabbed at the hem of my shirt, but Bella stilled my hand. "Leave it on," she purred as her eyes

traveled over my shoulders and chest, and down to my now prominent erection.
Bella grasped my cock in her right hand and began to stroke me hard and fast. Yeah – she was

definitely in rare form tonight.
"Fuck, Bella," I uttered. Her warm hand felt so fucking smooth and soft. As much as I was enjoying

the hand-job, I really had other plans for Bella.
I nudged her hand away from my cock, and felt it smack up against her stomach as she let go.
I reached down to feel Bella and groaned. "Feels like someone missed me," I whispered as my
fingers worked Bella's clit the way I knew she liked.
"I did miss you, Edward," she said, her voice uneven.
Bella's breathing picked up, and I moved my fingers faster, slipping two more inside of her. I curled

them forward to reach her spot, feeling her pulsate around my fingers.
Bella let out a whimper as I removed my fingers. "Do you want to move to the bed?" I asked.
Bella shook her head. "No, I want to fuck here, Edward. Fuck me against the wall," she whispered,
her voice unsteady as she came down from her orgasm.
As I took a few seconds to consider how I could fuck Bella up against the wall without hurting her
shoulder, I suddenly felt her slide down against the wall and take my cock into her mouth. Holy

Fuck.
"Bella-"I choked out as Bella fucking deep-throated me.
I knew I wouldn't last much longer if she kept that up, so I pulled away . . . very reluctantly, I might
add.
Bella looked up at me through her lashes, all submissive-like and shit.
"Fuck, Bella. Stand up," I growled lustfully.
She stood up slowly, still against the wall.
I looked at her meaningfully. "Bella, put your right hand on my shoulder to steady yourself." She

did as I asked, and I added, "You have to tell me if this starts to hurt, promise?"
She nodded, and I reached down and easily hoisted her up, her ass pressed to the wall. Bella

wrapped her legs around my waist, my cock positioned at her entrance. The head of my cock was
quickly covered in her wetness.
I brushed a light kiss across Bella's lips, before pulling back just far enough to look into her eyes.
"Ready?" I asked as I pushed slightly into her.
She nodded. I pushed slowly into Bella, filling her completely. She closed her eyes and leaned her
head back against the wall.

I pulled out slightly and thrust back into Bella, though not as forcefully as I normally would.
Her right hand dug into my shoulder as I continued to thrust into Bella.
"Are you okay?' I asked as I slowed my pace.
Bella kept her eyes closed, but muttered, "Just keep fucking me, Edward. It feels so fucking good."
Since Bella appeared to be fine, I did as she asked. I kept fucking her against the wall.
I closed my eyes and focused on just the feel and sounds . . . Bella's warm legs encircling my waist,
the wet and velvety-feel as I moved in and out of her, the slight warmth emanated from under our

t-shirts as our chests pressed against each other, the ache in my own shoulder as Bella's fingers
dug harder into my skin, Bella's warm breaths and light moans, the sound of her ass hitting the

wall, the slick sounds of my thrusting into her. I reveled in the assault on my senses until we came -
first Bella, and then me.
With my body pressed up against Bella's at an awkward angle, I buried my face against the right
side of her neck. Slowly, our breathing returned to normal.
After gathering our scattered clothing, we eventually made our way to Bella's bedroom. Since we
were still wearing our shirts, we only had to put our underwear back on before getting into Bella's

bed. It was chilly beneath the covers until our warm limbs were wrapped around one another.
I heard the front door open, and close, downstairs. The sound of Jane returning reminded me of a

question I had been meaning to ask Bella.
"When do your parents plan on going back to California?"
Bella shifted slightly, her warm breath tickling my sparse chest hair as she whispered, "Wednesday
morning."
Since Aro was returning tomorrow, that meant only one more day of having Bella's parents around.
Not to sound like a dick, but I was really starting to crave some alone time with Bella. I missed our

usual privacy.
"What do you want to do for New Year's Eve?" I asked as I played absently with Bella's hair.
"When will Alice and Jasper be back in town?" Bella queried in response.
"They'll be back on Thursday. Why?"
Bella glanced up to meet my gaze. "I'd really like to see them, Edward. Do you think they'd want to
spend New Year's Eve with us?"
Hell, I loved the idea of bringing in the New Year with the people I loved the most. I only wished
my parents could be there, as well. But I knew I'd be seeing them in January. And, they'd finally get

to meet the most important person in my life: Bella Swan.
I smiled at Bella; sure she could see the joy I felt. "I'll call Alice tomorrow. I know she'll love the

idea of all of us being together for New Year's Eve. I know I do."
I placed a light kiss on the top of Bella's head as she leaned her head back against my chest and

yawned sleepily.
Bella, Alice, Jasper, and I all spending New Year's Eve at the Cullen house. I'd pick up some pricey

champagne, and even let Alice put up some fucking decorations without protesting too much.
I thought about all the things I was looking forward to in the upcoming year, and all the things I

was thankful for. Not the least of which was that Bella had survived the shooting and was now in
my arms.

As I drifted towards sleep, I felt like everything was as it should be. Bella and I were one, now more

than ever before. We were bound by The Project, and would be even more so in the future. But,
we were also bound by our love.
A love that we were willing to kill for, as evidenced by our actions.
Bella was a part of who I was now, just as much as I was a part of her.
Two halves of a whole.

Chapter 24: I Knew

BPOV
December 31, Friday - New Year's Eve:
I took a last, cursory look at myself in the bedroom mirror, prior to leaving for Edward's house for
the New Year's Eve celebration we had planned with Alice and Jasper.
Satisfied with my black slacks, a low-cut green cashmere sweater, and black high-heeled ankle
boots, I headed down the stairs and out to my Cayenne under the evening sky.
The doctor had given me clearance to drive again, and I was wearing my sling less and less. My
shoulder was healing quite rapidly, and it was looking more and more like I would be able to skip

physical therapy completely.
A mounting sense of excitement settled over me as I travelled the winding back roads to the Cullen

residence. I couldn't wait to see Alice and Jasper, once again. With everything that had occurred, it
felt like I hadn't seen them in months, even though it had only been weeks.
Edward had left my house early in the morning to go over to his house and get things set up, with
Alice, for our small party. He had spoken to Alice several times after making the initial

arrangements on Tuesday, the day after he had returned from his quasi-mission.
Even though it would only be the four of us, it seemed like there was an elevated air of celebration

to this night, other than just the ringing in of the New Year.
I smiled to myself as I wondered what Edward and Alice were up to.
Edward had seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood, but I chalked it up to my parents finally
leaving Forks. Not that we weren't all getting along as best as we could in my small house, but

Edward and I had been craving our usual privacy.
Aro was aware, not surprisingly, that Edward had kept me up to speed on the events surrounding

the Denver mission. So, he hadn't been the least bit surprised when I had asked him if everything
had been taken care of in Denver.
Knowing that I'd actually been inquiring as to whether Caius, the obvious link to (and financial
backer of) Victoria and James, had been killed, Aro had nodded in the affirmative and told me I had

nothing more to worry about.
The entire situation was now resolved. Mission accomplished, so to speak.
I think Aro and Jane had finally accepted that Edward and I were never going to keep secrets from
one another, even when it came to the confidential details regarding our missions.
I wasn't going to live by the same set of rules I had with Jake.
Edward and I were a team. No secrets. No lies.

We were fortunate my dad was the boss, because The Project rules were not as black and white

when it came to us. Thankfully, Aro was allowing me and Edward to bend the rules into some of
those grey areas.
I drove along the long Cullen driveway as darkness descended and parked behind Alice's yellow
Porsche.
As I exited my Cayenne, I was greeted with squeals of delight as Alice ran out of the house and
pulled me into an enthusiastic, but gentle, hug.
"Bella, I missed you so much," Alice said excitedly as she backed away slightly. "I didn't hurt your
shoulder, did I? Edward told us about your skiing mishap."
Oh right, I supposedly had hurt my shoulder while 'skiing.' Aro and his cover stories.
I mentally rolled my eyes at the thought of me hurting myself while skiing, but said to Alice, "No,

not at all, Alice. In fact, my shoulder is feeling way better than before."
A hint of something passed in Alice's big, brown eyes. Intuition, maybe? But, she dropped the

subject quickly.
"I can't wait for you to see inside the house! I can't believe Edward gave me free rein to decorate

to my heart's content," she added, tugging on my hand as she spoke.
I followed Alice into the house, and was greeted by the twinkling of hundreds of tiny, clear lights.

Alice had really gone all out for our tiny gathering. With their contemporary furnishings and the
dimmed lighting, the interior of the Cullen house looked quite club-like and chic.
"Wow," I mouthed as my eyes scanned the living room.
Alice beamed with pride.
I couldn't resist asking, "Did Edward help you put up all these strings of lights?"
Alice rolled her eyes at me. "Really, Bella, you know Edward better than that. I sent him out to pick

up the champagne, while Jasper helped me."
I couldn't help but giggle aloud, "What did Edward say when he got back?"
Alice tried to suppress a laugh of her own. "He mumbled something about 'fucking overdoing it,'
but I think he took it rather well."
At that, we both burst out into outright laughter. It was just so Edward.
As if he could read our minds, Edward walked into the room and said, "Are you two laughing about

me?"
His emerald eyes glinted playfully as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to

his body.
Alice excused herself, leaving the room still in giggles.
Edward looked incredibly stunning under the dim glow of the lights. He was wearing black dress
slacks and a dark blue button-down dress shirt.
He always looked especially gorgeous in dress clothes.
I ran my right hand down his left arm, feeling his muscles flex beneath my touch. I caught him

sneak a glance at my cleavage, before raising his eyes to meet mine.
"You look beautiful, Bella," he whispered.
"So do you, Edward," I replied, my voice somewhat raspy.

Edward chuckled and pulled away, just as Jasper entered the room.
"Bella!" Jasper exclaimed, pulling me into a loose hug.
"Are you okay?" he asked, motioning to my shoulder.
"Getting better every day," I replied, before hastily changing the subject. I didn't want to
perpetuate the skiing accident lie any more than necessary, particularly not with people I

genuinely cared for.
"So, how was Texas?" I asked.
Jasper began to regal us with stories of their Texas holiday. We made our way to the living room
sofa, and Alice soon joined us. She poured us each a glass of champagne from a chilled bottle of

Dom.
Jasper was an excellent storyteller, and he kept us amused as he animatedly talked about his

misadventures while navigating the massive Christmas crowds at the mall when he'd gone out on
his own to shop for gifts for Alice, and his parents.
Jasper poked fun at himself and his lack of shopping expertise, particularly when he had forgotten
where he had parked in the giant mall parking lot, and almost had to call security to help him find

his car.
Alice chimed in to let us know that Jasper had eventually found his car on his own, and added that

he had made excellent choices in choosing gifts.
Jasper put his hand on Alice's knee and they exchanged a loving look.
I took a sip of champagne and glanced over at Edward, who was seated to my right on the sofa.
Edward appeared to be lost in thought, and I sadly wondered whether he was thinking about the

far different events that had occurred in a far smaller, gravel parking lot up here in Forks.
Alice must have sensed that I wanted to be alone with Edward for a few minutes, because she

stood up and asked Jasper to accompany her to the kitchen to check on the dinner she had in the
oven.
"Is everything alright?" I asked Edward after we were alone.
Edward downed the last of his champagne, and refilled his glass.
"Are you regretting your decision, Edward?" I asked in a tentative tone of voice.
Edward leaned over and kissed me softly, cupping my chin in his hand.
He pulled back slightly, and caressed my cheek. "Not at all, Bella. I don't want you to ever think
that." Edward paused. "It's just hard to separate our two lives. I mean, how do you do it so easily?"
Edward leaned back against the sofa, and I took a long drink from my own glass of champagne, and
answered, "You get used to it after a while."
And what I said was true. Being a part of The Project required one to lead two lives. One's real life,
as an agent of The Project, and one's public life, which entailed going to school, working a regular

job, and leading a seemingly ordinary life.
It did take some getting used to, even when it was all you had ever known - like me.
I was certain it was going to be difficult for Edward at times, but he had made a choice.
There was no turning back now.
I believed him when he said he didn't regret his decision. I just knew it wasn't going to always be

smooth sailing, and it seemed that Edward was realizing that, as well.
Edward must have noticed my sad expression, because he leaned over and gently pressed his lips
to mine.
Leaning his forehead to mine, he said, "I will get used to it, Bella. I shouldn't have said anything. I
don't want to see you sad on New Year's Eve."
I bit my lower lip and nodded.
Edward caught my lips with his and began to kiss me very slowly and deliberately. He tangled his

hands into my hair, and nudged my mouth open to deepen our kiss. My breathing quickened and a
small moan escaped, muffled by Edward's lips on mine.
Between the champagne and Edward's seductive kisses, I felt a little bit dizzy. We broke apart, and
Edward chuckled knowingly.
"Now do you feel better?" Edward asked, his tone velvety and smooth.
I feigned indignation. "Cullen, you're wicked."
Edward's mouth went straight to my ear. "Swan, I promise to show you just how fucking 'wicked' I
can be . . . later," he whispered in a seductively threatening tone.
I had to remind myself that Alice and Jasper were close by, because the promise of danger that
Edward's voice held made me want to do unthinkable things … at this moment … on this sofa …

and on this floor … and-
Edward snapped me out of my lust-induced reverie when I realized he was now on his feet in front

of me, holding his hand out for me to take.
"What?" I questioned. "Where are we going?"
Edward arched his eyebrow. Apparently I had missed something along the way.
"Didn't you hear Alice calling for us? Dinner's ready."
"Oh," I squeaked out as I tried to clear my thoughts and get a grip.
Would Edward always have this effect on me?
I took Edward's hand and let him lead me into the dining room.
The table setting was beautiful and tasteful. Alice really was amazingly talented at all things

creative.
Before any of us took our seats, I noticed that there were six place settings, not four.
"Are Emmett and Rose joining us?" I asked, confused. "Are they back from Cabo?"
Alice and Edward exchanged a meaningful glance, but before either could answer, the doorbell

chimed.
Alice went to answer the door, and Edward snaked his arms around my waist from where he stood,

behind me.
"It's not Emmett and Rose who'll be joining us for dinner," Edward murmured.
I glanced over at Jasper, who was pretending to busy himself with arranging the already-perfectly
placed flatware. I sensed that whatever this surprise was, he was in on it, as well.
I turned to face Edward, who was positively beaming with happiness.
I looked at him in utter befuddlement. "Edward," I addressed him hesitantly. "What's going on?"

"We have a big surprise for you, Bella," Edward said.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Alice re-entered the room with the same look of
complete joy on her face as Edward, and tears of apparent happiness streaming down her face.
Behind her, an exceptionally attractive older couple walked into the dining room. The woman's
chestnut-colored hair shimmered under the dim lights with familiar coppery highlights. The man

smiled, and I saw a glimpse of, perhaps, what the man I loved might look like in twenty more years.
I heard Edward's shaky intake of breath as he moved swiftly to encircle his arms around the

couple.
"Mom! Dad!" Edward's voice hitched as his parents wrapped their arms around their son.
I felt tears forming in my eyes as I watched the touching scene unfold in front of me. I had heard so
much about Carlisle and Esme Cullen, and seen so many pictures, but to actually see them in

person.
To actually see the love Edward had for his mother and father.
The big surprise they'd been trying to keep quiet was that Edward and Alice's parents had
apparently altered their original plans, and had made it back to Forks in time to ring in the New

Year with all of us.
Edward's mom glanced over at me, and her eyes lit up. "This must be Bella," she exclaimed warmly

as she walked over to me and pulled me into a gentle hug.
She stood back and started to apologize. "Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I haven't even introduced myself,

and here I am hugging you already. I'm Esme, Edward's mom."
"Nice to meet you, Esme," I said. Her sense of warmth was positively infectious. I immediately felt

comfortable in her presence.
I heard someone clear their throat and utter a familiar, but slightly different, chuckle. "And, I'm

Carlisle, Edward's father. Edward wanted to surprise you with our early return."
"Nice to meet you, as well, Carlisle." I extended my hand, but Carlisle ignored my hand, and

hugged me.
I was a little overwhelmed by all the hugging. Edward's family was very affectionate. It was such a

contrast to my own family.
I had noticed that everyone was being mindful of my shoulder in their shows of affection, so I

assumed Edward must have briefed them on my 'skiing' injury.
I knew Carlisle was a doctor, so I hoped he wouldn't ask me any specifics about my injury. I was

certain he would catch on rather quickly that it was not an injury caused by any kind of skiing
accident.
We all took our seats at the dining room table, and Alice served the dinner. The food was exquisite,
and the conversation was lively and nonstop. Alice was in her element, basking in the compliments

on her cooking and decorating expertise.
Jasper seemed to be very relaxed with Carlisle and Esme, they joked easily, and often, with each

other.
Carlisle and Esme asked me things like how I liked living in Forks, how I was doing at Hale, where

I'd like to study law, and other general questions. Edward interjected frequently, usually to brag
about something I had tried to play down - like how I had aced all of my classes at Hale this

semester.

Nobody asked me any uncomfortable questions. Edward's parents seemed to be naturals at

putting people at ease - yet another stark contrast with my own parents.
Carlisle and Esme talked about their travels around the globe, and I noted through their

interactions with one another that they seemed to still be in love after all these years. It warmed
my heart and gave me hope that Edward and I could be like them someday, albeit a more

dangerous version.
As the evening wore on, and midnight approached, all of us returned to the living room. Alice

opened more chilled bottles of Dom, and the champagne flowed freely. Jasper and Edward chose
some CDs and the music started.
Carlisle and Esme were a lot of fun, maybe even more so thanks to the champagne. Esme made
Carlisle get up and dance to an old Violent Femmes song from the eighties.
I couldn't help but laugh when they started to sing along to the lyrics of "Blister in the Sun,"
especially when I caught Edward blushing as his parents belted out the more risqué lines with

enthusiasm.
Pretty soon, we were all dancing and singing along to a multitude of songs.
As midnight grew closer, Alice passed out shiny, paper noisemakers and little bags of multi-colored
confetti.
We all stood and gathered close for the official countdown.
10 … 9 … 8 … 7 … 6 … 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 … Happy New Year!
We all blew our noisemakers and threw the confetti into the air. Before I knew it Edward was
holding me tenderly in his arms, as paper confetti rained down around us.
Amidst the sounds of noisemakers and more 'Happy New Year' exclamations, my lips met Edward's
in perhaps our most passionate kiss - outside of the bedroom - ever.
As our kiss continued, all of the other sounds seemed to drift away.
In that exact moment, I knew in my heart that Edward and I would be together forever. Even the

machinations of The Project, and their missions, could never tear us apart.
In that moment, as a new year began, I just knew.
When we finally broke apart, the sounds returned to my ears once more – music and carefree
laughter.
"I love you, Edward," I said softly.
"I love you, too, Bella," Edward responded.
Edward then added, "Did you know they say whatever you are doing at midnight will be what you'll
be doing the rest of the year?"
"So, we will be kissing the rest of the year?" I asked, joking.
"Hopefully . . . lots . . . of kisses," Edward said, between, well, lots of kisses.
Edward stilled and looked at me, his eyes serious. "What I will be doing the rest of the year is what
I'm doing right now, and what I was doing at the exact strike of midnight."
"And, what's that, Edward?"
"Loving you, Bella."
Tears welled up in my eyes at the raw sincerity of Edward's voice, until Alice piped up from beside

us, thus interrupting our moment. She appeared to be more than a little bit tipsy.
"Happy New Year, you two," she slurred happily.
Edward hugged his sister, as did I, and we both returned the sentiments.
Jasper quickly approached tipsy Alice, offering us a nod and a mumbled apology for the
interruption. I didn't mind, and, apparently, neither did Edward.
Hell, it was New Year's Eve. We'd have plenty of quiet time to profess our love for one another.
Edward grabbed an almost-full bottle of Dom and began to refill everyone's glasses. We all raised

our glasses and toasted the New Year.
Eventually, after more dancing, champagne, and singing, Esme and Carlisle announced that they

were exhausted and turning in for the night. I glanced at the clock, and was surprised to see it was
already after two in the morning.
Alice was cuddled close to Jasper on the sofa, and they appeared to have fallen asleep.
Edward asked me, with a wink, if I was ready for bed.
We made our way up the stairs to Edward's bedroom. Carlisle and Esme's bedroom was on the first
floor, so I felt comfortable that we'd have the privacy we'd been craving.
I was sweaty and hot from the dancing we had done, so I told Edward I wanted to take a quick
shower before going to bed.
After grabbing one of Edward's t-shirts to sleep in, I stepped into his adjoining bathroom.
I undressed and removed the small bandage from my shoulder. My injury really did look

remarkably better. I rotated my shoulder, and although it felt somewhat uncomfortable, it was not
nearly as painful as it had been even a few days earlier.
I turned the shower on and stepped under the hot, steaming water.
Within minutes, I heard the bathroom door open. I had hoped Edward would join me, and it

looked like I was about to get my wish. Edward opened the shower door, and I groaned when I saw
him standing there in a state of complete undress.
He had to know how incredibly hot he looked, totally nude and semi-hard.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked in an innocent tone, though I knew his intentions were far from

innocent. The playfulness in his eyes gave him away.
I couldn't help but stare at his growing hardness as I answered, "I was kind of hoping you would."
Edward caught my ogling and smirked. He stepped into the shower and pressed his body up
against mine as the hot water poured over his lean, muscled physique.
"Do you know how hot you are, Edward?" I asked.
Edward laughed softly as he held me, his erection now fully pressed against my stomach.
"Bella, I think you can feel how much I think you are the hot one here," he retorted, as his fingers
traveled over my hip and down to my core.
I gasped and leaned my forehead against Edward's shoulder as he pumped two fingers in and out
of me while rubbing my clit with his thumb. I still found myself amazed at Edward's ability to apply

the perfect amount of pressure to quickly work me up to a climax.
I reached down with my right hand and began to stroke Edward's incredibly hard dick. Edward's

lips sought mine, and we kissed as passionately as we had at midnight.

I knew what I wanted, and I had a feeling Edward would be just as pleased when I pulled away and

turned to face the tile wall of the shower. I leaned forward and placed my palms against the tiles.
I heard Edward moan, before I felt him at my entrance. I arched my back, and Edward entered me

swiftly, filling me completely.
Edward steadied me with his hands on my hips, and I reveled in the sensations of Edward pumping

into me as the hot water cascaded down my back and over my ass.
My breathing became more rapid as I reached a second orgasm, and I felt Edward come inside of

me shortly thereafter.
Eventually, we found ourselves in Edward's bed - me, listening to his comforting, strong heartbeats

with my head on his chest, and Edward, alternately playing with my hair and caressing my back.
"Are you awake?" Edward whispered to me.
I nodded against his chest, his chest hairs tickling at my cheek.
"Did you have a good New Year's Eve?" Edward asked.
I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest, so I could see his face in the moonlight-
illuminated room.
"I had the best New Year's Eve of my life," I stated with sincerity.
"Me, too, Bella."
"Your parents are incredible. I'm glad I was able to finally meet them," I added.
A smile played at Edward's lips. "I knew they'd love you, Bella. I was so excited when I found out

they were coming home tonight. It was hard not to tell you, but I wanted it to be a surprise."
I placed a kiss over Edward's heart. "I'm happy you surprised me. It made the night even more

special," I said truthfully.
Edward moved down so that his face was near mine. "Happy New Year, Bella," Edward said as he

kissed me tenderly.
"Happy New Year, Edward," I murmured beneath his lips.

Epilogue: You and Me

EPOV
April 16. Saturday:
It's been almost four months since I accepted Aro's offer to join The Project. I can't say there aren't

days that I question my decision, but then I think about the alternative, and I know I made the
right decision for me . . . and for Bella.
The alternative would surely have meant that Bella and I would never have had a shot, no pun
intended, at a long-term relationship. And by long term, I mean fucking forever.
After we finish law school, I have every intention of asking Bella Swan to be my wife.
But we have a ways to go before that day arrives. We still have one more year of pre-law

undergrad studies at Hale College, here in Forks. And of course, I have my training with The
Project, which starts next month, after this semester ends.
Bella and I have already made arrangements to fly down to Los Angeles the week after finals,

around mid-May. We're going to stay at her Malibu beach house for the entire summer.
We haven't been back to that house since Thanksgiving, the day I left her all alone, crying on the
floor. What a fucking dick move that was. Anyway, that's part of the past, and we've been moving

forward ever since.
No looking back.
To tell you the truth, I can't believe it's already been over three months since my parents were in
Forks. What a fucking great time we all had for the two weeks my mom and dad were in town.
Just as I expected, my parents adored Bella. And Bella told me she adored them, as well. Even
though my mom and sister had no idea what really happened to Bella, they kind of made it their

mission to keep her busy with shopping and spa excursions to Port Angeles and Seattle. It was
good for Bella to have time to unwind and forget about the night Victoria had shot her.
Now, Bella is fully healed, with only a tiny circular scar on her shoulder to show for that terrible
night in the parking lot.
In fact, Bella was well enough for us to go skiing over the midterm break in March. We flew to
Tahoe and spent most of our days on the slopes. Aro was not fucking around when he had told me

Bella was an excellent skier. Fuck. She certainly gave me a run for my money, and that is no small
feat, considering I am quite adept on the slopes myself.
In any case, the nights were the abso-fucking-lutely best part of that particular ski trip. Making love
to Bella several times throughout the night, each of our nights there, on a bearskin rug in front of

the roaring fire in the fireplace, was beyond any fucking fantasy I could have ever imagined.
After we returned from Tahoe, Bella was sent on a short mission to New York City. Even though we

share most everything, I didn't ask her for any major details.
We've both decided it is best to get used to keeping some details of our missions to ourselves. It's

just easier to fit into The Project, and their covert ways, than to flagrantly ignore all their rules and
expectations.
Although, with the Victoria ordeal still fresh in our minds, Bella and I have made a solemn promise
to share any pertinent information that could, potentially, allow one of us to come to the other's

rescue. Better to be safe than sorry.
Speaking of missions, I was asked to accompany Aro on another mission just last week. It was only

for one day, and it entailed flying to Portland, Oregon, early in the morning and meeting Aro at the
airport.
We drove east of the city in a rental car, until we reached a rather magnificent residence with a
spectacular view of Mt. Hood. Aro ordered me go to the door and knock twice. He specifically told

me not to ring the doorbell. Whatever.
I did as he requested, and an elderly man opened the door, handing me a package of some sort. I

took the small cardboard box back to the car and gave it to Aro. Whatever it was, it felt light. Aro
took the box from me and proceeded to get out of the car and place the box into the trunk.
I didn't ask what it contained, and Aro didn't offer any information. I guess the box contained
something that held obvious importance to The Project.
Aro and I parted ways at the Portland airport, but not before he informed me that I had done well.
I'm really starting to get the impression that Aro is taking me under his wing, mentoring me. I am

fine with that, since I've actually kind of grown to like Bella's assassin-dad, black suits, icy
demeanor, and all.

So far, nobody has asked me (or Bella) to assassinate anyone.
When I returned to Forks later that night, I'd felt especially wound up. I found being an agent-in-
training to be kind of fucking exciting, and my dick agreed. I woke Bella up and fucked her hard

that night.
The next morning, Bella laughed and told me she hoped her father asked me to go on lots more

missions, if that was any indication of how she could expect me to behave upon returning.
So, here we are.
Or, rather, here I am–on an unusually beautiful Saturday morning in April in Forks–musing over the
past few months while Bella sleeps upstairs in my bedroom.
There is one thing I still really want to do with Bella, and it requires perfect weather. Like today.
I once promised to take Bella back to the meadow–the one that was so barren and dull on

Halloween night–and show her just how incredibly gorgeous it can be this time of year. I am
certain all the flowers will be in full bloom and the meadow will be beautiful today.
Padding around the kitchen in my bare feet, I pour a glass of orange juice and place it next to a
plate of toast, on a tray set up to serve Bella breakfast in bed this morning.
I make my way back upstairs and push my bedroom door open with my hip.
Bella is already awake and sitting up in bed, her hair tousled and the purple tank top she's wearing

clinging to her skin. I avert my eyes from her clearly erect nipples and look at her face, instead.
But not before Bella notices.
"Cullen, you are such a pervert," she teases, as she nods to the growing bulge in my pajama pants.
I catch Bella's eyes travelling up to my bare chest, and then back down to my semi-erect cock, so I

playfully reply, "Swan, you have no room to talk."
Bella giggles as I take the tray over to her, lowering it slightly to block her view of my now-waning

erection. For as much as I want to, there just isn't any time for that kind of fun if we are going to
spend the day at the meadow.
"Mmmm . . . breakfast in bed," Bella says, propping up the pillows behind her.
"Just some toast and juice, since my culinary skills lie just a step above my decorating skills," I say

jokingly, although we both know it is the truth.
After I place the tray onto Bella's lap, I take a seat beside her on the bed.
Bella lifts the toast to her lips, and teasingly replies, "Maybe Alice can give you some quick cooking
and decorating training before we head down to LA for your agency training."
"Ha-ha, Bella. No thanks," I answer, as Bella takes a bite of her toast.
Bella rolls her eyes. "Okay, okay. No Alice-training then."
"By the way, I have something planned for us today," I say, changing the subject.
"Like what?" she asks, before taking a sip of her orange juice.
"It's a surprise, Swan." I raise an eyebrow. "So, I'm gonna jump in the shower while you finish your
breakfast."
"I'm intrigued, Cullen," Bella yells, as I head into the adjoining bathroom.
After we are both showered, and dressed appropriately for an outdoor adventure (the only clue I

have given Bella as to the nature of this excursion), we leave the house in my Range Rover.
As I drive along the winding roads towards the meadow, I glance over at Bella. I have to smile to
myself as I realize that, as usual, we are dressed in similar attire: jeans, hiking boots, and t-shirts.

Although, my shirt is a boring grey and hers is a light blue that matches the color of the sky today.
Bella has to know where we are heading as we near the hidden gravel road that leads back to the

meadow. She confirms my suspicion when she reaches over and places her hand on my knee.
"Did you remember to bring the Glenfiddich, Edward?" Bella teases.
I turn slowly onto the gravel road and start up the long, winding path that is just barely wide
enough to accommodate my SUV.
"No Glenfiddich today, but I did bring a blanket," I reply in the soft voice I know she fucking loves,
throwing in a crooked smile for good measure.
Bella unfastens her seat belt and scoots closer to me, nuzzling her nose along my neck. I bring the
Range Rover to a stop in front of the fallen tree that is still blocking the entrance to the meadow.

Our meadow.
I turn and cup Bella's face in my hands as I lean down to kiss her. Gently and playfully, I catch her

upper lip and trace her bottom lip with my tongue. I nudge her mouth open, and our kiss deepens
and becomes more passionate.
Every bit of heat and electricity I felt the first time I kissed Bella, right here in this same spot, is still
there. In fact, it's even stronger. And from the quickening breaths eliciting from Bella, I assume the

same is true for her.
Before things become too heated, and they easily can, I break away from our kiss. Reluctantly,

though.
With my face still inches from Bella's, I whisper, "Are you ready to really see the meadow?"
Bella nods and peers through the windshield, but the sun is reflecting too much off the glass to get
a clear view.
We exit the Range Rover, and after grabbing the blanket from the back seat, I go to Bella's side to
take her hand and help her over the fallen tree, even though I am well aware she is perfectly

capable of doing so herself.
As we step over the moss-covered bark of the long-dead tree, I hear Bella gasp as she looks up,

and out, at the sea of lush green grass speckled with thousands of purple, blue, gold, and white
wildflowers . . . covering the meadow that she has only seen before as a grey and barren field

under a moonlit October sky.
The meadow is alive with beauty, as I knew it would be. And I have to admit to myself that it is

exceptionally radiant today. Even I, who has seen it many times before in full bloom, am
astounded.
We stand silently, hand in hand, as we both soak in the wondrousness before our eyes.
After a moment or two, Bella speaks first, in a voice filled with awe. "Edward, it's so different from

the last time. It's so beautiful…."
"I know. I told you it would be." I smile and lead her to the middle of the meadow, where we are

surrounded by soft green grasses and vividly colorful wildflowers.
I spread the blanket out over the ground, and Bella and I sit down amongst the lushness.

I pick a dazzling purple flower and carefully place it behind Bella's ear. "Do you know how much I

love you, Bella Swan?" I ask.
Bella looks like she is about to reply with a typical Swan smart-ass retort, until she sees how

serious I am.
Reaching out and touching my face, Bella replies, "I know, Edward." Her hand runs along the light

stubble on my cheek as she continues, "I love you, too. More than words can express."
I lean back against the softness of the blanket, and Bella snuggles next to me, placing her head on

my chest.
We remain quiet for a while, just listening to the sounds around us: birds chirping, the light rustle

of the leaves in the soft breeze, and the sound of the brook babbling at the back edge of the
meadow.
I am sure my heartbeats are included in the sounds Bella hears, as her right ear is directly over my
heart.
I am curious as to why she takes such apparent comfort in listening to my heart, so I ask her. "Bella,
why do you like to do that?" I say softly, glancing down.
She lifts her head to meet my gaze. "What? Listen to your heartbeats?"
I nod.
Bella bites her lower lip, as if in contemplation, and then answers, "I guess I like hearing how
strong your heartbeats are, Edward. It comforts me."
I smile at her and ruffle her hair. I get the impression it is something, maybe, she can't really put
into words. But if listening to my heart comforts her, then I am happy.
"Come here," I say quietly as I gently pull her closer.
Bella scoots up until our lips are within inches of one another. I close my eyes and lean up to catch

her top lip with my own, kissing her softly and with tenderness.
I don't want our time in the meadow to be about sex, I want it to be about love. I want to convey

every ounce of my love for Bella in my kisses. So, I kiss her in the way I would have had I met her
when we were once innocent.
Bella breaks away from our kissing, asking, "What are you thinking about, Edward?"
She obviously has noticed the difference in the way I've been kissing her.
Our lips are still almost touching when I respond in a soft whisper, "I was kind of thinking about if
we had been each other's firsts."
"Firsts?" Bella questions confusedly, until realization dawns on her.
"Oh. But Edward, you are only my second, so…." Bella's voice trails off.
Her hair has fallen around her face, so I push it back softly on both sides. "Yeah, I guess I was
referring more to myself," I say quietly.
Bella cocks her head slightly, my hands still in her hair. "How many women have you been with,
Edward?" she asks, her voice laced with curiosity.
I suddenly wish I had not brought up my past. I don't care to disclose exactly how many partners I
have had. In fact, I really am not even sure. I quit counting somewhere along the line.
Before I can think of a way to get myself out of this potential landmine I've walked right into, Bella

says, "Actually, Edward, forget I asked. I don't think I really want to know. It doesn't matter,

anyway."
I swiftly move our bodies so that I am now above Bella. Leaning forward on my elbows at either

side of Bella's head, I begin to place tiny kisses along her jaw and neck.
I stop at her collarbone, before I respond, "You are the only one that matters, Bella. And you are

the only one there's ever going to be for the rest of my life."
Bella moves her fingers into my hair, and I sigh against her skin.
"Edward, look at me," Bella whispers.
I oblige and meet Bella's eyes. "And you are the only one I ever want to be with, Edward . . . God, I

love you."
Bella finishes her statement, and my lips crash down onto hers. Our earlier tender kisses are lost as

passion and desire fuel this round.
Clothes are discarded haphazardly, and our bodies eventually move together as one. But it really

isn't about sex. At all.
Bella and I have made love before on numerous occasions, but there is something special about

this time. Time seems to stand still. With the sunshine warming my back as I move within Bella, I
feel more alive than I've ever felt in my life.
I glance to my right and see the purple flower that I tucked behind Bella's ear earlier. It appears
brighter and more vivid. I shift my gaze to Bella's face as I watch her come undone under my body.

I soak in the beauty of Bella, reaching my own climax. I remain inside Bella as our breathing returns
to normal.
At some point, we are lying on our sides, facing one another; Bella's left leg swung casually over
my right one.
"This meadow really is special, Edward," Bella whispers.
It is at this point that I know our lovemaking has been as intense for her as it's been for me.
There really is something extraordinary about this place, especially today. "It is," I agree.
"Promise me one thing, Edward?" Bella asks.
"Anything, love."
"Promise me that in the future . . . if we are ever having … trouble. Or if we ever feel like we are

drifting apart, promise me you'll bring me here. Promise me, Edward," Bella pleads, tears in her
eyes.
"I promise, Bella. I promise." I suddenly feel Bella's lips on mine, and I pull her tightly to my body.
I know I will bring Bella back to this meadow. This will always be our special place. It is the place

where everything really began, even if the circumstances were not ideal.
It's the place where I first kissed Bella. And it's the place where she realized she was in love with

me.
The meadow represents love. The meadow represents our love.
Sure, it's been an unlikely romance, between an agent and her target—me. But it is a love that has
endured and grown stronger through it all . . . pure, all-encompassing, and blinding.