The Love Potion Groom: Movie Star Romances

C O P Y R I G H T

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First eBook Edition: 2018

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places

and incidents are either the creation of the author's

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F O R E WO R D BY T A MA R A H

BA R T ME S S

Have you ever had a friendship grow into
something you never expected it to be?

In 2010, I moved to a new state, not knowing
anyone in my area. Taylor and I connected through
our church family and I could immediately tell I
was going to like her!

She was someone who was looking for a way to use
her gifts and talents to bring something special to
this world. She was constantly seeking for ways to
help develop herself and think differently and more
abundantly.

One of the coolest things about Taylor is that

she writes clean romance novels. I have read a few
of her books and they are like “Book Candy” for
their ability to bring a perfect level of sweetness

and escape from the doldrums of life.

Recently, we began talking and conjured up an idea
that she could write a Love Potion Romance and I
could write a Love Potion Recipe Book. How
FUN!

I hope that you will fall in love with B.C Knight
and Kira as they discover true love with a little help
from some Love Potions.

Tamarah Bartmess

C H A P T E R 1

.C. Knight walked into the quaint dance
club in downtown St. George, Utah
unsure what he expected to find. Two of

his  security  guys  pretended  friendship  and  flanked
him, but kept it cool. The place was packed, which,
truthfully, could go well or horribly wrong for him.
It just depended on how many clubbers recognized
him.  Grateful  it  was  already  past  ten-thirty,  he
walked  in,  keeping  a  low  profile,  and  headed
straight to the bar.

He was here to check into a drug rehab facility

tomorrow,  a  thirty  day,  court-mandated  stint.  His
agent  was  threatening  to  drop  him  if  he  didn’t  get
his  act  together.  Even  though  he  really  wouldn’t
because  B.C.  made  him  way  too  much  money.  He
wanted  a  good  time  tonight,  his  last  night  before
being  committed  to  the  rehab  facility.  B.C.  looked

around and saw an open seat, right at the end of the
bar next to a pretty girl.

The girl was talking to the bartender and he

could  already  see  as  he  got  closer,  it  wasn’t  an
intense  flirtation.  No,  it  looked  very  friendly  and
cordial.  He  even  noticed  how  the  girl  had  this…
sweetness  about  her.  She  looked  like  she  was
sincerely laughing.

Goodness, sweetness, laughing, he could use

that  humor.  Especially  tonight,  after  all,  he’d  told
himself this would be his last big hurrah, ever. Well,
definitely  the  last  one  for  a  month.  It  felt  like  he
was  always  telling  himself  this  was  the  last  night.
For  partying.  For  taking  the  pills.  For…all  other
destructive things.

Unfortunately, recently this untruth had led to a

traffic accident and an innocent woman getting
injured. Then his agent had to scramble to keep the
DUI out of the press because, according to his
agent, he was about to play in the biggest movie of
his life…if he could ‘keep his head down and put in
his time.’

In the darkest recesses of his mind, he didn’t

like keeping his sins out of the press. He didn’t like
being here and going to some spa to talk about his
troubles, Of course, he’d never tried rehab. Hadn’t
had to, hadn’t been forced to until now. He was
positive the whole touchy feely part of it wouldn’t
suit him.

B.C. was, at heart, a military guy. He’d been in

Hollywood the past six years. Somehow, he’d been
chosen  and  plucked  out  of  obscurity,  when  he’d
tried out for a cologne commercial to help pay the
rent.  Next  thing  he  knew,  he’d  found  himself
landing  in  a  whole  series  of  Raced  and  Wrecked,
movies  about  fast  cars  and  mafia  and  the  FBI.  He
had a knack for it.

He was built for it. His passion was

bodybuilding  and  running.  It’d  been  easy  to  do
when  he  was  in  the  line  of  fire  as  an  infantry  guy
and  even  easier  when  he’d  come  back  to  nothing
and  decided  he  wanted  to  make  something  of
himself.  Two  tours  in  Afghanistan,  seeing  all  the
crap in the world made Hollywood living look easy.

His mother had been proud of him. His father

had passed. He was grateful he’d been able to buy
Mama the Malibu home she’d always wanted. Too
bad  his  mother  had  let  the  money  go  to  her  head.
He  clenched  his  hand  into  a  fist  and  tried  not  to
think  of  the  latest  loser,  pool  guy  husband  she’d
married in Vegas last week.

As he sat at on a barstool the bartender noticed

him “Hey man.” The bartender was tall, blond.
“What can I get for you?”

First, B.C. popped the pill bottle lid inside his

jacket and looked around the bar, trying to make
sure no one noticed. He had a couple more pain
pills. He’d received a knee injury in battle, and then

re-injured  it  about  six  months  ago.  The  old  wound
wasn’t  the  problem  anymore,  B.C.  knew  that.
Originally,  the  pills  had  made  it  possible  to  finish
shooting the film, then they’d become a bad habit.

He pulled the pill into his fingers and stared

back  at  the  bartender,  flashing  him  his  movie  star
smile.  “Shot  of  whisky  please,  and  a  mimosa  for
fun."  He  still  had  his  sunglasses  on  and  kept  his
head down. The two security guys with him stayed
close.  One  stood  on  his  right  side  and  the  other
behind him, acting chill, swaying to the music.

Out of nowhere, the girl next to him slid over

and whispered, “Better get the pill out of your
pocket and take it.”

In a flash, he pulled his sunglasses off and

stared into the most snarky green eyes he’d ever
seen. Eyes that taunted and caught his jig but most
of all eyes that saw him. He searched them and
found them rough, full of emotion. “Who are you?”

She may have looked like she was having fun a

few  seconds  ago,  but  right  now  she  looked  a  little
bit  lit  up  herself.  She  was  flushed.  Dang,  she  was
pretty. Her blonde hair was short with curly waves,
and  looked  a  bit  out  of  the  nineties.  How  much
teasing was going on here?

“Take your pill,” she challenged. “You need the

escape, right?”

He didn’t like that she knew this, so he did what

he always did, distracted. “Honey, where would

you go if you could go anywhere?”

For a second she didn’t answer, and then she

looked confused. “What?”

“Anywhere?” He pointed at her. “In the

world.”

She leaned back, taking in a breath. “You’re

going to pay for it?”

He laughed. “Of course.” Yes, the distraction

was working.

She let out a rippling laugh. “Fine, Movie Star.

I’d go to Paris.” She turned to her glass of lemon
water and circled it lightly with her forefinger. “It’s
where Nana always wanted to go but never did.”

His heart clutched. Nana. Her grandmother?

“Well, then you should go.” Taking his phone out,
he pulled up his Delta app. “Let’s get your ticket
booked.”

She looked at his phone then scoffed. “Really?

Just like that?”

He nodded and pushed it to her. “Put in your

details and you’ll have a ticket.” And she would.
He’d done this many times at different bars in
various places.

She held his gaze, and then pointed at the

bartender. “Could I buy my cousin a ticket too?”

Cousin. Well, that sounded better than

boyfriend. He flashed a smile. “You bet.”

She looked at his phone, then back to him. “Is

this what you do? Buy everyone off, Movie Star?”

This, he hadn’t expected. It actually kind of

jolted him out of his movie star numbness. He
turned and slipped the pill into his mouth, not
waiting for water.

She let out a sigh. “There ya go.”
He turned back to her. She was looking at the

bottom of her lemon water, definitely playing
forlorn.

The dreadlock, bartender was back.
She flashed a grin at B.C. “Hey, Cuz, this movie

star idiot says he’ll send us both to Paris if that’s
what we want.”

“Really?” Her cousin looked him up and down

then flashed a smile back to the girl. “What did you
do—let him smell some of Nana’s love potion?”

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Kevin, c’mon,

don’t bring up Nana like that.”

Kevin was back with a whiskey, plunking it

down in front of B.C. “B.C. Knight. The Raced and
Wrecked movies.” Kevin flashed another grin. “I
love those movies.”

The girl let out a sad pfft. “I hate those

movies.”

This made him take even more note of the girl.

It wasn’t a common thing for someone to tell him
they didn’t like his movies. He frowned at her.

She smiled like she knew exactly what she was

doing.

Kevin tapped the counter in front of him. “You

okay, dude?”

There it was. The extra attention usually felt

off-putting, but this guy acted like he actually
cared. For a flash of a second, he didn’t like it and
didn’t like that there was clearly something going
on with this chick and him.

“Fine.” He slugged the drink back and jammed

it  down,  hating  and  loving  the  feel  of  whiskey
burning  down  his  throat.  “I  want  to  buy  you  both
tickets.”  The  need  to  do  it  was  overwhelming.
Make her see that he could do it.

The guy she’d called Kevin lifted his chin a

notch. “Thanks, but we gotta take care of some
stuff here. No Paris for us.”

The girl swung her gaze back to B.C. “Yeah, do

you know what it’s like to have someone you love
die?”

He was caught off guard by the question.
She shook her head and he noticed her eyes

looked very bloodshot. They misted with emotion.
"‘Cause it sucks.”

He thought of the way she’d said her Nana

would want to go. “I’m sorry.”

She let out a dithering laugh and glowered at

him. “Yeah,” she looked away. “I’m sorry, too. Do
you know who’s not sorry? My boyfriend.” She
gave B.C an accusing look. “Oh, he couldn’t make
it to Nana’s funeral because he’s in Africa saving
the world.”

B.C. gathered that she was a tad bitter.
Kevin put his hand over hers. “Kira, do you

want me to call an Uber to take you home?”

Yanking her hand back she shook her head.

“No.”

“Is she drunk?” he asked Kevin.
She only had water in front of her.
Letting out a loud laugh, she turned to him.

“Drunk? You think I’m drunk?” She sputtered and
then fell into hysterical laughter. She looked crazy,
that’s how she looked. “I don’t even drink.” She
laughed again.

He didn’t respond.
Kevin shook his head. "It’s just been a hard

day.” He poured her more water.

For a few seconds no one spoke and B.C. could

feel their palpable grief coming off in waves. He’d
always been able to tap into emotions. Sometimes it
was to his detriment. He pushed those emotions
away. “So, what’s there to do tonight?”

The girl next to him, the one still giving him the

kind of look a cop would give an inmate, shrugged.
“Nothing for your types here,” she said, sounding
even more drunk and self-deprecating. “Go buy
someone else a ticket to Paris.”

Kevin turned an accusing stare on him and he

didn’t  understand  why  he  felt  like  an  idiot  for
actually  offering  to  buy  someone  a  plane  ticket.  It
made  him  feel  defensive.  “Hey,  I  will  pay  for  it.”

He hated sounding like he had to convince them.

“Like I would turn over my personal

information to you.” She glared at him like he was
some creeper.

Her mood was giving him whiplash. He scowled

at her. “Fine.” He waved at Kevin. “I need the
bill.”

Kevin seemed to hesitate, but B.C. made a

moving gesture in the air to hurry him up. “It’s fine.
The bill please.”

Kevin printed the bill and put it down. As B.C.

signed the bill, he gave Kevin a five-thousand-
dollar tip. Then pushed it over to him. “There, now
you have enough money to take you and her.” He
shook his head, not believing he was doing this. “To
Paris. Have fun.”

The bartender had the nerve to pick up the

receipt, study it, and then rip it up. “No way. Not
doing that.”

The girl shook her head and crossed her arms,

glaring at B.C. “Why would you do that?”

These people were insane. Were they actually

mad at him for giving them money? “I just tipped
you five thousand dollars dude, so you could buy
the tickets yourself.”

Both of them glared at him.
Kira shook her head and he thought he saw

tears in her eyes. “You just don’t get it, do you,
Movie Star man? You can’t buy happiness. You

can’t …” she looked away and then turned back to
him, angry, a tear running down her cheek. “You
can’t count on anything! Ever!”

He was confused at the anger directed at him.
Kevin took her hand. “Why don’t you chill out,

Cuz. Wait twenty minutes and I’ll take you home.”

She rolled her eyes and picked up a glass of

lemon water, sipping from it. He noticed her eyes
fluttering and a tear leaked out. “Nana is gone.
What’s the point of anything?”

Taking in her black dress, he wondered when

the funeral had been. He cleared his throat and
turned to face the club. He couldn’t deal with other
people’s problems he had enough of his own.

Keeping his energy close, he didn’t want to

draw  attention  to  himself.  He  looked  around  and
casually,  took  another  pill  out  of  the  bottle  in  his
pocket  and  popped  it  into  his  mouth.  He  couldn’t
exactly pop any tomorrow, could he? With his other
hand he picked up the water that the bartender had
put down and sloshed it back.

Dang. Loathing and regret washed over him.

Did he want to take these pills? Well, tomorrow he
wouldn’t have a choice any longer. Wouldn’t have
the choice to stay clean.

He covertly looked at the girl, who stared at the

bar counter, looking forlorn. Man, she was manic.
He got that, but he wanted to stay away from that
tonight.

His mind flashed to the rehab place. Part of him

had already been doing scenarios in his brain, how
hard  would  it  be  to  get  more  pills?  Sure  it  was  a
ritzy  rehab  place.  Wasn’t  there  always  someone
willing to get them for you? The other part of him,
the  disciplined  part,  wanted  to  tell  the  whole  drug
use  thing  to  screw  off.  He  was  done.  He  hated  it.
Again, he heard a muffled sound from the girl.

She was crying. The cute, snarky girl who’d

seemed to know that he was about to pop a pill in
his mouth, which he just had, was bent over her ice
water and looked bad. “What are we gonna do,
Kevin? What are we gonna do?” She muttered to
the bartender.

The bartender leaned over her, whispering what

sounded like soothing words to her.

Once again, B.C. thought about the fact that he

didn’t need someone else’s problems. He could
barely handle his own.

Actually he couldn’t. He turned and stared at

the people on the dance floor and wondered if he
could take the risk and went out and danced. Did
he want to dance? He started thinking about being
confined in that new ritzy rehab place.

The song instantly changed to an old eighties

rock song.

Before he knew what was happening, the crazy

chick was standing in front of him giving him an
angry look. “Want to dance?”

Dumbfounded and totally unprepared he held

back. “Uh, I don’t want to draw attention to
myself.”

Her face went into a wide grin, her green eyes

taunting him as she leaned in. “Sissy.” She rushed
off, grabbing another guy from the side and pulling
him out onto the dance floor.

B. C. wanted to point out she was the one

acting totally manic.

The guy she was with wasn’t bad looking. He

had a cowboy thing going complete with the hat,
belt buckle and stupid smile.

It was annoying. B.C. found himself thinking of

ways he could easily take the guy out MMA-style,
making his blood start pumping faster. The blonde’s
tight black dress held in all the right places and the
heels  didn’t  hinder  her  moves  in  the  slightest.  She
was wild at the moment, trying to make the cowboy
do  some  moves  to  the  music  with  her.  Clearly,  the
guy  was  an  idiot  and  didn’t  know  the  moves.  She
was far better than him and trying way too hard to
make it work.

B.C. turned back to the bartender who met his

eyes and shook his head. “I gather you guys have
been through a hard time, but is she ok?”

The bartender's lip curled into a frown, but then

he relaxed and wiped the edge of the counter where
he was. “Funeral today. It’s been hard on her. She
came home from school last week, hoping to spend

the summer with Nana.” He shrugged “Our Nana
raised us, but out of nowhere she had a heart attack
and that’s that.” The bartender’s eyes stayed on the
girl.

B.C. who hadn’t felt interested in honestly

anyone’s lives in a long, long time asked him,
"What’s your full name?”

The blond, grunge guy’s lip twisted into a half

smile and he put his hand out. “Kevin Moonwater.
Nice to meet you.”

B.C. shook his hand. "B.C. …”
“We’ve established who you are.” Kevin

acknowledged him. “I also love your super hero
ones. I don’t know how you play Blackhawk so
well, but you do it. I’ve gone to all three of those in
the theater and to all of your war movies.” His eyes
flashed back to him. “I read an article on how you
saw a lot of crap on your tours over there, was it…
did it help you act in those movies?”

Under different circumstances, B.C. wouldn’t

have even held or carried on this conversation, the
one  that  perennially  turned  into  an  interview.  Not
the one about being in war. He hated that question.
His eyes scanned back to the girl out on the dance
floor  looking  wild  and  vulnerable  and  crazy  and
free. He was suddenly more interested in this whole
situation than he'd been in anything for months. “It
was hell,” he said dryly. “I don’t know if I’d say it
was  worth  it  for  a  movie  roll,  but,  I  like  being  in

movies.”

Yes, the pills were taking effect. He felt all the

edginess  gather  inside  him  and  dissipate  into  the
bass  of  the  music.  He  could  breathe  easier  and  he
felt  something  loosen  inside  of  his  chest.  Like  the
grip  that  had  been  there  squeezing  was  letting
loose. He picked up his water and took another sip.
At  this  moment,  all  drugged  up,  he  actually  felt
more like himself than he had in long, long time.

For a couple of minutes he heard Kevin helping

other customers. Yep, he liked the fact the place
was packed. It did give him a bit more anonymity.

The song changed and he watched Kira run her

fingers through her blonde hair and go to another
guy, tugging him out. Obviously, it looked like they
all knew each other, because this guy took her into
a slow dance, and had a sad look on his face.

B.C. nursed his drink, still keeping it low,

waiting  and  watching  her.  She  was  gorgeous.
Graceful.  She  looked  loose  and  free,  but  he  could
see  her  start  doing  what  seemed  like  ballet  moves
or turning around the man in ways he wasn’t really
prepared  for.  Not  a  tango,  but  she  could  dance.
Holding  onto  the  guy  she  put  her  leg  up  and  did  a
fast twirl.

B.C. was mesmerized by her. He turned back to

Kevin. “Is she a dancer?”

Seeming a bit taken off guard, Kevin hesitated,

looking at her. Right at that moment she lifted a leg,

kicked  and  did  a  turn  around  the  guy.  He  sighed.
“She  was…don’t  know  if  she’ll  be  going  back  to
Julliard  or  not.  Nana  passed  the  ranch  to  both  of
us.”

B.C. turned to face Kevin. “You own a ranch?”
Kevin shrugged. “I guess I do now. Death

comes when you’re not expecting it, right?”

B.C. thought of all the death that he’d been

around. Kevin didn’t know the half of it. The worst
was  carrying  his  buddy  out  of  that  war  zone  and
watching his life seep out of his body. It was…ugly.
It  could  wreck  a  man  mentally  if  he  didn’t  have  a
place  to  store  it.  So  B.C.  stashed  it  back  into  the
box  where  it  belonged  and  made  a  command
decision. He took off his hoodie.

Another song had started.
A country song. He was tired of watching a

woman  who  clearly  owned  the  dance  floor,  not
have  the  right  partner.  In  five  steps  he  was  out  to
her,  the  guy  she’d  been  dancing  with  had  been
leaving, but stopped.

“Can I have this dance?” B.C. was already

taking her hand.

She stopped, looking lost for a moment. A look

that B.C. recognized and identified on some level
he hadn’t allowed himself to go to for a very long
time.

“Kira, want to dance?” He asked, again.
She blinked and a wicked glint came into her

eye. She squeezed his hand and asked, “Think you
can keep up?”

The song was full of hee haw, country energy.

B.C.  didn’t  want  to  spoil  her  fun  and  remind  her
that  he’d  been  trained  only  two  years  ago  for  a
whole  cowboy  role.  He  was  a  country  western
music star, complete with line dancing and country
two-step.  Easily  he  turned  her  into  some
complicated moves.

She kept pace. He’d known she would keep

pace  and  now  she  grinned  up  at  him  like  he’d  just
won her a stuffed bear at a carnival. “That’s right,
you  played  ‘Man  of  Thunder’  didn’t  you?”  She
laughed and although it sounded inflated, he could
definitely  tell  this  was  part  of  her  manic  mood
talking. He spun her some more and liked feeling…
free.  If  only  for  a  second,  with  this  woman  he
began  feeling  something  that  had  eluded  him  for  a
long time.

She laughed and not only mastered the moves

he was throwing at her, but took him into
variations.

“Are you sure you’re not lit up?” He asked

when she hoisted herself into his arms and
commanded him to twirl her.

She laughed even harder and he found himself

thinking she looked magical at the moment, above
his head, her chin up, her hands back. Perfect.

He brought her down and they continued into

more steps.

She slowed their steps into a two-step. “I have

to admit, I hated the first Raced and Wrecked,
haven’t seen the rest. In fact, the worst scene was
the scene in Brooklyn when you pretended to be in
the mob and you were doing that horrible accent.”

Holy…what? Abruptly, he stopped dancing.

“You really hated my movie?” Now she was
criticizing his accents?

She laughed again and pulled him into another

round of moves. It seemed like it made her happy
to see him so upset. “Chill out, Movie Star.”

He found himself having to concentrate on the

moves again, he lifted her into the air and she swept
each side of his body. He then held her straight up
in the air. The whole place was clapping and
laughing and when he put her down, he felt the
flashes of cameras start.

Another wicked glint was in her eye. “I thought

the great B.C. didn’t want to be recognized this
evening.”

The way she said it. The way she taunted him

with it made him smile. The way his heart raced,
this woman was intense.

Another song came on, an eighties hair-band

song and he found himself throwing himself into the
moves with her. It felt amazing. She was in it to
win. Her body jerked and her hair spun and hit him
in the face, making him laugh.

The thing B.C. liked about this woman was

maybe she was a bit crazy tonight, but she wasn’t
treating him like B.C. Knight: Movie Star. She was
just having fun.

The song ended and there were people

beginning to moving in on him. Luckily, his security
guys were there, keeping people at bay.

It wasn’t bad, not like the clubs in LA or

various places he’d been.

They went back to the bar and Kevin had

waters for them. He had a smile on his face and
spoke to her. “Got yourself a partner who might be
able to keep up with you.”

She laughed and drank the water. “Maybe.”
Kevin gave her a sincere look. “You have to go

back to school, Cuz, that’s nonnegotiable.”

This made the smile on her face disappear. She

held Kevin’s eyes then shook her head.

B.C. didn’t know what had just happened, but

even in his numb state, he could clearly see
something had.

She plunked down her water and glared at

Kevin. “I’m going home.”

C H A P T E R 2

.C.  watched  this  blonde,  tall,  mythical
woman  in  the  black  dress  who  could
dance  like  a  Greek  muse,  stride  away

from the bar and he was sad to let her go.

“No!" Kevin ran after her.
B.C. once again couldn’t stop himself from

watching them.

He saw her rip her hand away from Kevin as he

reached for her arm.

Then, just like a movie playing before his eyes,

he watched her fall apart and burst into sobs.

He thought of their grandmother they’d just

buried and he thought of the passion in this woman.
He  even  thought  he  shouldn’t  be  doing  this  as  he
tapped  the  security  guy  close  to  him  and  said,
“Follow  me,  we’re  going  to  make  sure  someone
gets home okay.”

His security guys’ jobs were to stay sober. To

take care of him. No wonder they looked a little
puzzled. “You sure?”

“Yes.” He got to Kevin and the girl. “Hey, can I

give her a ride?”

She was clutching at Kevin’s chest, her face

buried into it.

Kevin hesitated.
“Let me help you.” B.C. said softly.
Kevin frowned, patting her back. “That’s a

good idea.” Kevin looked at the security guy. “He’s
driving, right?”

B.C. nodded.
Kevin nodded, too and turned to Kira. “Why

don’t you go back to the ranch and settle in for the
night. I’ll be done in about two hours."

Angrily, she pulled back from him, and B.C.

was  reminded  the  woman  was  clearly  unstable  at
the  moment.  She  was  suddenly  triumphant  and  a
piece  of  clear  physical  beauty  began  to  appear,
rising  up  with  her  as  she  held  her  head  high  with
fire in her eyes. "You’re sending me home with the
Movie  Star?”  She  glared  at  him.  “No.”  Then  she
turned to stalk off, but Kevin was on her heels.

It was funny she was mad about this. Did she

not get the memo—he was a famous movie star?

Now the crowd was noticing him more and his

other security guy closed in to provide protection.
B.C. found himself following Kevin and this

woman out the front door of the club.

Kevin was next to her, only a few steps from

the street. "Please, Kira, please. Just get a ride
home."

She stuck her chin in the air. “I’ll get an Uber.”

She was typing on her phone.

B.C. felt a bit disappointed. For a second he

thought  of  how  his  own  grandmother  always  used
to  say  when  you  swap  another  problem  for  your
own  it  helps  you  feel  better.  Dang,  he  hadn’t
thought about that for a long, long, time.

The dance club door opened and a guy yelled,

“Kevin!”

Kevin held her wrist and she glared at him.

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

Yanking her hand free, she rushed away from

him. “Oh, get lost, Kevin.”

B.C. could see the struggle on the guy’s face.

He didn’t want to let his cousin go, but he had
commitments.

So B.C. did the only thing he could think to do.

“I’ll take care of it.”

Kevin turned to him, hesitating for a moment.

“I don’t understand why you care so much.”

B.C. was put on the spot, so he told the truth.

“Death  sucks.”  He  threw  his  hands  up.  “I  have  a
mother who needs help sometimes, I know how to
deal  with  this.  Believe  me,  this  will  be  nothing.”
Plus,  it  gave  him  purpose.  He  always  liked  the

movies where he played a hero.

For a second B.C. didn’t know if Kevin would

take the olive branch, but then he gave a firm nod.
He looked at his hands. "Can I get your number?”

They exchanged information as a car with an

Uber plaque drove up. B.C. saw her about to get
into it. He took off. “I’ll text you.”

His security was on him, but he brushed them

aside,  even  though  he  was  pretty  loaded,  he  was
used  to  being  loaded.  Sticking  out  his  foot  just  as
she  pulled  the  door  shut.  He  felt  a  bit  of  pain  go
through  him.  “Guys,  I’ll  be  back  at  the  hotel  by
midnight."

There were protests from his guys, but he

slipped in the car and waved them off.

The car took off and he heard her breathing

hard. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

It was funny to him that here was this girl, in a

clearly bad state of mind, putting out all the vibes
to stay away. Yet, he was chasing her. How long
had it been since he had chased a woman down?

He was used to being the one getting chased.
“Get out,” she said quietly.
His heart raced and he didn’t know what to do

with the intensity of this woman.

“Look, it’s fine.”
“No, you look," she turned to him.
Their eyes met and he saw tears on her face.
She poked his chest hard. “I have no idea why

you  are  in  this  car,  but  I  really  know  I  must  be
losing  it  if  my  cousin  sent  you  here  to  take  me
home!”  She  blinked  and  more  tears  ran  down  her
defiant face.

Grief.
He remembered being four and his mother

taking him to the zoo and giving him an ice cream
cone  to  explain  to  him  that  his  father  wasn’t
coming  back.  Ever.  It  was  funny  that  he  would
remember  that  at  this  moment.  The  way  the
strawberry  ice  cream  ran  down  his  hand,  getting
sticky,  the  way  his  mother’s  tears  ran  down  her
face and she pulled him to her side, getting the ice
cream  in  her  hair  and  telling  him  they  would  be
okay, somehow, they would make it.

He snapped back to the present. He looked

around the town and saw the word Dixie
illuminated up on the mountain.

He leaned forward, close to the driver and

pointed toward the Dixie on the mountain . “Go
there, please.”

“No, wait.” She turned to him looking

confused.

The driver pulled over. “What are we doing?”
B.C. turned to her. The point was that she

wasn’t in her own head at the moment, right? She
still needed a distraction. Maybe he did, too. “I’ve
never taken the tour of St. George. Is the Dixie sign
like the Hollywood sign?”

A sardonic laugh came out of her. “Yeah, just

like LA, I’m sure.”

“Can we go up there? Will you go with me?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
He shrugged. “Why not? Do you really want to

go back already?”

She sighed, then waved a hand through the air.

“Fine, driver, please take us up there.”

It took a few minutes for the driver to wind

through the streets and B.C. found himself smelling
her. He’d smelled traces during the dancing but
now he thought she smelled like lavender or….

“Lilac.” She offered, still not looking at him.
“What?” Had she taken that thought out of his

head?

They got to the top of the street, to a path. She

turned to him. “Are we doing this?”

The intense way she asked him, like he would

back out, made him even surer that they would do
this. “We’re doing this.”

He got out and so did she. She thanked the Uber

driver and he took off.

They both stood by a very unimpressive path

that  led  to  some  switchback  turns  up  to  the
illuminated  rocks.  For  a  second  he  looked  at  the
heels  she  wore  and  wondered  if  she  would  bag  it,
but  she  started  hiking  up  the  rocks.  “You  coming,
Movie Star?”

It was funny to him that this woman treated him

nothing like any other woman ever had. “Yep.” He
went after her. It wasn’t easy going. She picked her
way across the boulder-like rocks and he found
himself having to use his skills to keep pace.

They hiked up for a few moments. He thought

of  how  bright  the  stars  were  here.  In  L.A.  they
always  felt  so  far  away.  Tonight,  he  felt  like  he
could  reach  up  and  touch  them.  He  asked,  “How
did  you  know  I  was  thinking  about  what  you
smelled like?”

She let out a light laugh and he looked up at her,

standing  on  top  of  one  of  the  rocks.  The  way  the
moonlight  fell  on  her  made  her  seem  fragile  and
beautiful.  Once  again  he  marveled  at  her  blonde
hair,  light  and  curled,  her  perfect  makeup  even
though she’d been crying, the way she held herself
like  a  royal  queen.  Her  lean  dancer  body  was
graceful.  She  smirked  at  him.  “Because  you  were
mouth  breathing  and  leaning  close  with  your  eyes
closed  so  it’s  that  or  you’re  even  weirder  than  I
thought.”

He laughed, this time laughing like he really

meant it. Actually, since he’d seen her face and the
smile in that dance club, he’d felt freer than he’d
felt in a long, long time. Was this the pill talking or
was it real?

Their eyes held for a brief moment and she bent

down and took her heels off, leaving them. She
turned and pointed to the DIXIE rocks. “Let’s get

up there.”

She went to one of the boulder rocks and

picked her way to the top of the first “I” in Dixie.

He waited at the bottom for her to get to the

top.

“You comin' or not?” She turned back, flashing

that wicked smile at him.

He bounded to the top and both of them sat.
For a second, he could imagine they were in

some kind of movie.

The town was brilliantly lit and he could see all

the people on main street, like they were little toy
people.

She pointed. “There’s the freeway that you take

south to Moab.” She moved her hand. “There’s the
Mormon Temple.”

It was all lit up and breath taking.
He hadn’t really noticed it before.
She pointed to the north. “There’s Snow

Canyon. It’s a good hike during the day.”

He agreed with a quick flick of his head and

wondered  at  this  woman  beside  him.  At  the
moment  she  was  calm,  almost  tour  guide-ish.  He
wondered  what  she  would  be  like  if  he’d  met  her
before her Nana had passed.

She pulled out her phone and clicked on a

picture of a woman in a black and white photo,
wearing some kind of prom dress, on the arm of a
man.

He leaned over to get a better look, guessing it

was her grandmother.

She sighed. “That’s Nana’s prom picture.” Her

voice quieted and she zoomed the photo in,
inspecting it. “She was so beautiful.” Her voice was
melancholy.

He turned to her and studied her face, noticing

the shimmer in her eyes.

“Are those butterflies on the dress?”
She let out a light laugh “Nana loved them.

She’d loved them her whole life. Her logo for the
ranch has butterflies on it.”

“She was beautiful like you.”
She glared at him and put the picture away.

“Look, I’m not one of your Hollywood types, you
don’t have to say things like that.”

He hesitated, clearly the manic girl was back.
“I mean it,” she said angrily.
“Oh, you mean the truth?” He said back a bit

testily. He knew he was flirting and he liked it.

She waved him off. “Whatever.”
The view was breath taking. He liked sitting up

here and he liked the fact he could see practically
the whole valley. The warm, desert air felt
absolutely amazing. When he’d gotten to this town
this morning, it’d been sweltering heat. Currently, it
had cooled off to a perfect temperature. “Dang, it’s
nice up here,” he said.

“Even impressive enough for you?” she

questioned.

He turned to see her shimmering eyes.
For a moment, neither of them spoke because

he didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what this
woman needed. Didn’t know if he could help her at
all. She had him completely off balance. Beauty,
brashness, she had a wildness about her. Sure, grief
did those things to people, but there was more to
her. He could feel it. “It’s impressive,” he said, not
really meaning the view.

She grinned at him. “As good as Paris?”
Sucking in a breath, he looked out, thinking of

standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower. “Different,
but good.” He took a chance. “Do you really want
to go to Paris?”

She grinned and it was brilliant. “Of course, I

want to do Paris. Only I want to do the cliché Paris,
in Springtime. That’s what I’ll do one day."

Unexpectedly, an image of both of them in Paris

appeared in his mind, with her doing one of those
cheesy selfie poses next to the Seine River. “After
you finish Julliard?”

She glowered at him. “Do you really want to

get in a fight?”

He put up his hands, not realizing it was a hot

point. “Why is it a fight?”

She exhaled. “Because Nana was paying for

Julliard.”

He got it. “And Nana’s gone now.”

She nodded. “It sounds so messy when it’s just

about money, because with Nana, it wasn’t about
money.”

Once again he wondered if she would cry.

“School might not be an option now.”

For a moment, he didn’t know what to do, but

he wanted to connect with her. Wanted to show her
he understood what it was like to lose someone. "I
may not understand your pain, but I lost my best
friend on my second tour in Afghanistan.”

Jerking to look at him, she asked. “You

served?”

He nodded.
She shook her head slowly. "I’m sorry, I didn’t

know. Truthfully, I don’t know much about you.”

He didn’t know whether to be flattered or

concerned. “I guess that’s ok.”

She let out a light laugh. “Oh, it’s okay you’re

not the center of my universe? Well, that’s good.”

Once again, this woman was keeping him off

kilter. He let out a joyless laugh. He guessed he did
sound annoying.

She sighed. “Well, finish telling me. You can’t

just start something like that and not tell me.”

Of course she would want to know. Why was

he talking about something he hadn’t told anyone?
He continued. “Troy and I were clearing a building
together and he got hit. I dragged him back to base,
but he died in my arms.” He shivered, thinking

about it. Truthfully, he’d had nightmares about it
way too much.

She turned to him. “You tried to save him.”
It unsettled him, the raw way she said it.
He shrugged. “I didn’t.”
She put her hand on his. “I’m sorry.”
This connection was the last thing he’d

expected. This actually felt real. He thought of all
the conversations he’d had with women lately that
had felt more like a movie script than real life.

She pulled her hand back. “Tell me what you’re

thinking right now.”

“What?” he asked.
She pointed at him. "There was a look on your

face. A look like it wasn’t a cover up.”

“Cover up?”
She let out a breath. “You’re an actor. I am a

dancer.  I  had  a  teacher  who  told  us  to  put  on  a
‘jacket’  of  the  best  dancer  we  could  when  we
performed. So I guess I found it helpful to go into a
character.  To  put  on  the  best  dancer  I  could  think
of.  It  made  me  think,  how  easy  it  would  be  for
actors to always ‘wear a jacket.’”

“Hmmph.” He hadn’t thought of it like that, but

she was right.

“So what were you thinking when your jacket

slipped?"

He didn’t know how to explain, but he wanted

to try. He actually liked sitting up here above St.

George, in the middle of the night. Everything felt a
bit fuzzy, yet perfectly clear. “I guess, I was
thinking how I hadn’t had real conversations with
women for a long time.”

She scoffed. “Not when you’re offering to buy

them plane tickets.” She tsked her tongue. “Why
would you do that?”

He felt like an idiot. Which was funny. Most of

the time buying stuff for people worked like a
charm. “I don’t know.”

“Because you’re typecast,” she offered.
“What?”
“In your role. As the bad boy that comes in and

tears it up. The anti-hero. The jerk. You’ve taken it
on.”

He blinked and tried to just live in the now. It

was what his therapist said. “Okay, getting deep.”

“Or I guess you’re a typecast of just the hero

too.”

He frowned.
“I’m not saying that I’m not typecast, too,” she

said  unexpectedly.  "I  think  I’ve  typecast  myself
with  the  bad  boyfriend.”  She  let  out  a  derisive
laugh.  “I’ve  been  with  Spence  a  year.  He  came
here  and  met  Nana  last  Christmas  and  hated
everything  about  Southern  Utah.  Hated  everything
about  the  ranch.  Currently,  he  says  he’s  helping
people  in  Africa  build  catfish  ponds  and  he  can’t
come home….man, I’m rambling and pathetic,” she

snapped. “I guess I’m that character in the movie.
The pathetic one.”

This was interesting. Was she trying to be self-

reflective? Because he sensed this wasn’t the time
to press her about the bad boyfriend. Even though
he wanted to. How he wanted to. “I’m sorry, again,
about your Nana,” he said softly, not knowing what
to say. “I don’t think you’re pathetic.”

For a moment, her face was completely still,

then she turned back to him. “Thanks.”

Again, he liked that this whole thing felt real.
Letting out a long breath, Kira leaned back on

her hands. “Nana, she was a dreamer. She…” Then
her  face  turned  into  one  big  smile.  So  bright  and
brilliant and beautiful, he wished he could bottle it
and keep it when he needed a shot of pure delight.
“The past couple of years I’ve been a bit lost.” She
let  out  a  light  laugh.  “Nana  thought  Spence  was
part  of  that  lost  part  of  me.”  She  shrugged.  “She
didn’t like him.”

He found this even more interesting but he

didn’t want to push it.

“Nana was always so grounded. She always

told me to trust in God.”

His heart pounded inside his chest. Lately,

when he was honest with himself he was looking
for something to hold to. “Is that the answer?”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. My

boyfriend doesn’t think it is.”

“Oh.” He’d been trying not to recall that small

detail. “The boyfriend in Africa.”

She grunted and didn’t seem happy. She waved

a hand into the air. “Nana believed in truth outside
of anything. That’s how she proved the existence of
God.”  she  said  and  waved  another  hand,  “All  of
this,  the  Earth,  the  air,  the  stars,  the  sun  exist
outside  of  anyone’s  belief.”  Her  voice  sounded
dreamy. “I guess I believe it, too.”

He turned to her and saw a tear running down

her cheek.

Her simple faith touched him.
She turned to him. “Do you believe in God,

after what you've seen in war?”

He hesitated. Wow, it had gone deep.
“You don’t have to answer.”
He

found

himself

wanting

answer.

“Sometimes I would tell myself there was a reason
for  it  all,  but  if  there  was  a  reason,  then  why  was
there  so  much  evil  in  the  world?”  It  honestly  just
made  me  angry.  Dang,  he  was  telling  this  woman
everything. He put a hand up. “Not to squelch what
your Nana said.”

She shook her head. “Oh, don’t worry about it.

Spence told me this morning, before the funeral
when I was bawling my eyes out on the phone to
him, that if we are really existentialists then there is
no death, and nothing to be upset about.”

Instantly, B.C. wanted to sucker punch what he

imagined would be the smug, fictional boyfriend.
Well, fictional in his mind, boyfriend’s head off.
“Spence’s an idiot.”

She let out a light laugh. “That’s what Kevin

says.”  She  pointed  toward  the  east.  “Over  there,
that’s  Zion  National  Park.  She  would  take  us  to
Zions  hiking.  I  don’t  know  if  you’ve  been  to
Zions.”

The moonlight painted the landscape in silvers

and shadows that he’d never seen before, but all he
could think about was how much he hated this girl’s
boyfriend. “No, but it sounds nice.”

“When the people settled this part of Utah, the

Native Americans were here and they had all these
legends about Zion.” She smiled. “Nana would take
us  on  these  hikes  and  teach  us  about  the  flowers
and  the  botany.  I  swear,  my  grandmother  had  an
herb  for  everything.  She  wasn't  into  New  Agey
stuff, she was legit; love the land, love the flowers
and herbs, they love you back.”

She shook her head and he saw a tear wash

down her face. “My parents were.... Well, my dad
passed away. My mother ran off to Hollywood and
never came back. My Nana was everything.” She
put her hand into a fist. “I’m rambling. Sorry.”

“No.” He didn’t think she was rambling. “I like

talking with you.”

For a few moments both of them were quiet.
She was looking out at the city. “Nana loved it

here, but she pushed me to use my talent to go to
Julliard and perform.”

“She sounds pretty amazing.”
She shook her head. “She was. Now it’s too

late. I have to get home.” She turned on her
stomach and started sliding off the boulder.

He didn’t want this ride to be over yet. “Wait,

don’t go.”

She was already well on her way down. “If

you’re going to see me home, you better pick up
the pace.”

So he did what she said. He got off the boulder

and went after her. Dang, she was fast in those
heels.

He caught up to her and found himself walking

down the switchback path.

Now that she didn’t seem as out of her mind,

she was more determined.

He had to walk faster to catch her. “Are you

okay?”

She grunted. “I’m fine. Probably better than

you.” She turned her searing attention on him but
kept hiking. “Why are you in St. George again?"

It was funny to him how many answers his

publicist had prepped for him. Looking at property,
searching for a vacation home, here to take in the
sights. Nothing but the truth would do. “Drug
rehab,” he offered plainly.

She immediately stopped.

Ramming right into her, he tried to stop the

force of the hit and switched in front of her, holding
on to her, so she didn’t fall over.

They twisted down the path a ways, but it was

like dancing again. He braced them before they
stumbled, glad he was so athletic and she was so
graceful.

She’d held his arms as he’d taken her by the

waist and braced both of them. When they stopped,
they were both breathing hard.

They both burst out laughing.
It felt amazing.
“You’re pretty good on your feet,” she

admitted.

The words didn’t have the angst behind them

any longer.

He knew that this would be a great scene in a

movie. It was as if he couldn’t stop himself, he
leaned down and gently brushed his lips to hers. It
wasn’t a needy kiss, or a gentle kiss, but more like a
kiss of truth. He felt something he’d never felt. It
was over too quickly when she shoved him hard in
the chest.

She put her hand to her mouth and blinked.

“What was that?”

He was honestly flabbergasted. “I’m sorry.”
For a moment, she looked completely confused.

“I don't even know you!”

How did he feel like he knew her? “I’m sorry,”

he repeated.

She was already hiking down the mountain

again. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Who’s a jerk,” he added.
She glared at him. “Shut up!”
All of these feelings were buzzing inside of him.

“I’m sorry," he mumbled for the third time, even
though he wasn’t.

She yanked out her phone as they got to the

little dirt road and he saw her ping an Uber.

They waited.
Now, instead of feeling the peace he’d felt

earlier as they stared down at the lit up city of St.
George, he felt like he’d just blown what could
have been the best thing in his life.

She turned and glared at him. “You don’t get to

kiss people you don’t know. I don’t know who you
are."

A black sedan pulled up. He reached out and

opened the door for her.

She gave him another glare, then got in.
He rushed around, getting in the other side,

thinking this night had taken a whole different path
than he ever could have imagined.

She gave the guy directions to the dance club.
“No, I told your cousin I would see you home."

He protested.

She ignored him and the sedan wound back

through town.

C H A P T E R 3

bout forty minutes outside of St. George,
B.C. walked into the posh spa-like place
he’d been ordered to go to for rehab and

cringed.

The smell of sage assaulted him. Crap. It was

one  of  those  New  Agey  places  that  were  all  the
rage in Hollywood. The kind he could pretend to fit
in  with.  The  producer  in  his  last  movie  had  made
them  all  do  yoga  in  the  morning  and  drink  some
green  drink.  He  liked  to  be  healthy,  but  to  him  it
was pushing it a bit too far drinking kale.

Bleck. He couldn’t stand kale.
“Right this way, Mr. Knight,” said the orderly

who had met him at the door while someone else
valet parked him.

Today was the last possible day for him to

check in. He’d agreed to thirty days. Well, the court

had  allowed  him  to  make  a  deal  in  exchange  for
prison  time  for  his  DUI,  so  he  supposed  he  should
be  grateful.  At  least  that’s  what  his  agent  had  told
him.

His mind flashed to the dance club last night. To

Kira.

Darkness had flooded him again as he’d gone

back to his hotel. His security guys had chewed him
out  when  he  got  out  of  the  Uber  at  the  hotel.  He
had  commitments;  he  couldn’t  be  gallivanting  all
over.  He  had  a  career,  a  house  to  pay  for,  for  his
mother  who  he’d  committed  to.  He  had  a  life
everyone dreamed of.

He’d taken another pill at that point.
Even though he was court ordered to this place,

the fact was, he did feel guilty about driving under
the  influence.  He  did,  after  all,  hit  a  car  and  that
driver  had  been  hurt.  Nothing  more  than  a  little
whiplash,  but  it  could  have  been  worse.  His
attorney  had  settled  with  the  woman  for  a  cool
million  and  kept  it  out  of  the  press,  but  how  long
would he be out of the press?

To him, the point was that he’d hurt someone

because of his addiction. He’d told himself he
wouldn’t be his mother, yet here he was.

He looked around. The place was nothing short

of  a  resort.  Huge,  arched  ceiling.  Log-cabin  style
but  not  a  log  cabin.  Reddish  and  white,  like  the
brick-colored  red  rock  around  St.  George  he’d

noted  on  the  way  into  town.  This  place  was
supposed  to  be  a  secret  rehab  for  the  rich  and
famous.  His  agent  told  him  all  the  stars  came  here
when  they  went  through  something.  The  staff  was
excellent,  the  food  delicious,  and  he’d  be  ‘well
taken  care  of’.  Problem  was,  he  surmised,  as  he
looked  around  and  resisted  the  urge  to  spit  on  the
floor just to muck it up a bit, he didn’t want to be
pampered and taken care of.

He wanted pain.
Misery. To be left alone in his dark thoughts.
His thoughts had surprisingly been hijacked last

night by the ethereal, beautiful, blonde women who
looked straight out of the Great Gatsby movie.

That kiss. Dang. Even in his small high, which

wasn’t much compared to what he could have done
with  more  pills  and  alcohol,  he  remembered  that
kiss.  All  night  he’d  been  thinking  about  her.
Dreaming  about  her.  When  he  woke  this  morning
he  thought  of  the  fact,  if  he  were  a  producer,  he
would type cast her as a spy.

She was tricky.
Yes, if he were to cast that woman, she would

make a fantastic spy, running around in her high
heels and black dress and vibrant green eyes. That
fragrant blonde hair.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out, seeing it

was Jake, his agent.

“Hey.”

“Are you there?” Jake asked.
He rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to babysit

me.”

Jake sighed. “Actually, after your little stunt last

night when you ditched Tom and Harry, I think you
proved I do have to babysit you.”

B.C. opted for silence. He told himself yet

again, this was his fault. His hand twitched to get
the little pill in his pocket.

Jake continued. “B.C., you need to get through

the next thirty days and get signed off or whatever
and be back for the premiere. If you’re at the
premiere, I have it on good authority, the producer
of the new war movie, that true story about World
War II, wants you.”

His heart raced. “I’d be working with Travis

SanBrook?” That would be huge.

“Yeah. Right now it’s between you and Grant

Hutley, so keep your nose clean.” He let out a
laugh. “Literally, and get your butt back here.”

“Grant’s up for this role?” He scoffed, thinking

of one of his co-stars in the Raced and Wrecked
movies.

“Yep.”
B.C. felt the pressure turn up a notch. “What

about Trevor and Zade?” He thought about the last
premiere where he and his other co-stars had sat in
expensive foreign cars and drank champagne at the
party after. How they had taken off in one and

driven it all over Hollywood that night, high and
drunk.

The memories were hazy. He thought it’d been

fun  then.  It  had,  hadn’t  it?  He  couldn’t  really
remember all the details. He shook his head and felt
a  dull  ache  starting  in  the  back  of  his  left  eye.
Migraine.  That’s  usually  where  it  started.  Good
thing he had one more pill to help deaden the pain.
“Trevor and Zade would be good, too.”

“Naw, the part is yours.” Jake assured him.
He sighed. “Hopefully.”
“Okay, good luck, B.C., take care of yourself.”

Jake said.

“K.”
The line went dead and he put his phone back

into his pocket.

The guy at the front counter, who had waited

while he’d been on the phone, rolled his eyes. He
was tall. Very tall, like freakish should be playing
basketball for the NBA kind of tall. He tapped the
counter. “Might as well just leave your phone with
me. First week you don’t get it.”

Maybe it was the realization that he was finally

here. In this place where he wouldn’t be able to do
what he wanted to do. Immediately, B.C. wanted to
punch  this  stupid,  guy  with  his  stupid  haircut  and
stupid  smile  on  his  face.  “What?”  He  hadn’t  been
told about this. Freedom was important to B.C. not
just  because  he’d  defended  that  freedom  but

because he didn’t like to be messed with.

The tall, stupid haircut guy nodded and put out

a basket. “Put your phone in here, please.”

B.C. pulled his sunglasses off, immediately

feeling the pain surge behind his eye. He squinted
at the too happy tall guy. “I’m keeping my phone.”

The guy shook his head. “Nope. In order for

you to get signed off by the court, you have to get
signed off by us, which means abiding by our
rules.”

This didn’t stand with B.C. He wasn’t going to

be treated like a kid. “I thought this place was the
best rehab place for movie stars,” he stated,
sounding a bit like a prima donna. If he had to tap
into part-gansta he could go to his Bobby Born role
he played in the movie for character orientation.

The guy shook his head. “You can call your

fancy agent back, but he’s gonna tell you, you have
to comply with our rules or you have to go to a real
jail."

It ticked B.C. off that this guy, who apparently,

even  though  he  had  the  stupid  haircut  and  the
stupid  smile,  which  wasn’t  a  smile  now,  felt  pretty
confident  to  boss  him  around.  His  agent  had  told
him  this  was  where  all  the  greats  had  come  to  do
their time, so he figured he had to do this. Probably
why his agent had called just a second ago, to make
sure  he  knew,  even  though  he  wouldn’t  like
following the stupid rules, he didn’t have a choice.

B.C. had messed up. He thought about hitting that
car, thought about the still haziness of the memory
of that night and relented. Reluctantly, he shoved
the phone down on the counter and glared at up at
him.

The guy’s face instantly went from stubborn

back to happy. “Hello, Mr. Knight, welcome to Red
Rock  Acres.  Although  you  will  be  here  to  serve
your time, it is one of our highest priorities that you
are  comfortable  here.  Along  with  meeting  with
counselors one-on-one and group therapy, we offer
a  variety  of  relaxing  classes  and  yoga,  Pilates,  Tai
Chi, horseback riding. There are meditation classes,
too. There are paths around the property on which
you are welcome to take long walks and clear your
head.  Utah  boasts  fresh  air  and  outdoor  living  like
none other.”

“I don’t need the commercial.” He glared at the

guy and wanted to rip his happy face off again.
Actually, what he really wanted to do was take the
pill in his pocket.

The guy actually broke into a smile and

laughed. “Look, it’s the job okay?” He shrugged. “I
enjoyed your last movie. I love cars and Raced and
Wrecked was amazing with that scene in the sky.”

The words dulled to dribble as B.C. tried to

grasp them. Blah blah blah. Yes, everyone liked
cars and racing them and loved that scene when
they’d been in Italy and the car had come out of an

airplane. “Thanks,” he grunted, staring down at the
paperwork in front of him.

“Right.” The stupid haircut guy said and

pointed to the forms. “You need to sign here and it
will be given to the court so they know you are
checked in. Your thirty days starts today.” He
cocked an eyebrow. “I’m Clark by the way.”

B.C. grunted. “Perfect, another guy who thinks

he’s superman.”

Clark scowled at him. “Funny.”
B.C., obviously, wasn’t in a great mood. He

signed the forms and Clark walked him through the
resort.  The  arched  ceilings  and  floor  to  ceiling
windows  that  overlooked  a  breathtaking  view  of
mountains  and  red  rocks  really  were  beautiful,  as
well as the garden, fountain, and clear water pools.
He saw sporadic people around. He could also see a
couple  of  people  in  various  groups  together  doing
what  appeared  to  be  meditation  yoga.  He  snorted.
Yeah, that wasn’t for him.

They got to a hallway and walked down it.
“This will be your room." Clark signaled a room

that looked like a fancy hospital room and pointed
to the numbers. “Two-o-two. For the next month. I
think you’ll be happy with the accommodations.
There’s a new crop of you coming in today, I think
five. So it works out for group therapy. You can all
be on the same schedule. You’ll be left alone right
now, but before we do that, I need to go through

your luggage and check for medications.”

He said the word so doctor like, but B.C. knew

he meant drugs.

It wasn’t hard, as a professional actor, to shrug

and smile, slip his hand into his pocket and put his
fingers around his last pill. "That’s cool.”

Clark narrowed his eyes and put his hand out.

“Let me have your last pill.”

It took B.C. by surprise that the stupid grin,

haircut face guy had noticed this. He played it cool,
slipping it between his fingers like a quarter in a
magic trick. He pulled his hand out and held it
open. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Clark rolled his eyes. “Hmmph.” He looked at

the suitcase and bent to open it.

“So you’re going to pillage my things.” B.C.

acted  mad,  but  he  knew  this  was  the  drill.  That’s
why he’d thrown the rest of them out this morning,
but  kept  this  one.  He  waited  until  the  guy  was
pillaging  and  he  put  the  pill  to  his  mouth,  taking  it
in and swallowing it quick. One last hit for a month.

The guy looked up at him. “I saw that.”
B.C. glowered at him and wondered if someone

else, someone at the facility would be willing to get
him drugs. Prison always had drugs for the right
price, right? He looked through the halls, but there
were only people standing around talking, and no
one looked …shifty.

“What’s your name, again?” B.C. asked,

pretending he had forgotten already.

The guy stood. “Clark, aka, your worst

nightmare if you’re thinking you can score drugs
from me.”

This wasn’t a prison movie, he reminded

himself.

But why hadn’t he thought of this before? He

couldn’t imagine it would be that hard to play like
he was recovering. After all, he was an actor.

Clark got up and resealed his suitcase. “Alright,

just so you know we have the right to check your
room and things at any time. That’s part of being
here. You don’t have the right to privacy."

B.C. held his gaze. He felt that gut punch he

always  felt  when  someone  reigned  down  on  him
about freedom. “I served this country for four years
so you  don’t get  to  tell me  what  freedoms I  get  or
not.” His mind flitted and he imagined the pill was
taking affect and getting in his bloodstream. He felt
himself relax a bit and he looked down and saw his
hand  wasn’t  trembling.  That  was  a  good  start,  but
how long would it last?

He needed more. He needed to find someone

who would score for him.

Clark seemed to be sizing him up.
B.C. could and would take him in a fight. He’d

grab that mullet and throw him to the ground in one
fell swoop.

Clark glared at him, then turned and walked

away. “Dr. Schneider will be here in an hour.”

B.C. watched him go and felt himself relax a

bit. He picked up his bag and went to his room. He
hated it, he decided quickly. Even though, he
reminded himself, he was lucky not to be serving in
a real jail. His thoughts flitted to Afghanistan.
Heck, living in the shadows of a war zone had been
enough jail time for any man, he figured.

Unpacking quickly, he decided he might as well

get his running clothes on. They couldn’t stop him
from doing that, right? Plus, he’d taken that last pill
and he was feeling better, might as well use the
time to get in a workout. He needed his workout.

Bolting from the room, he took off down the

hall, still liking the fact the place was so open. He
put his ear buds in. Good thing he had an MP3
player with his music. He’d kind of wondered if his
phone would be gone, so he’d prepped. He rushed
down the hall, but then Clark was storming toward
him.

“Hey!” Clark called out.
B.C. was faster, seeing deliverance in the door

marked exit that led to the outside.

“Hey!” Clark tried again.
B.C. hit the door and was off.
For a second he wondered if sirens would sound

or something would happen, but nothing happened.
He sped up. He noticed there was a marked hiking
path and he took off down it. There were little

classes  under  canopies  to  block  the  sun.  He  could
see  they  were  talking  or  doing  Pilates,  or  yoga,
maybe  meditation.  Hm.  Nice  concept,  he  decided,
to  actually  have  breakouts  for  P.E.  Maybe  this
place wouldn’t be so bad.

He fell into a rhythm. Haircut guy had said the

doctor wouldn’t be in for an hour, so what did it
matter if he cleared his head with a run? He needed
to run. Had needed it since forever. He’d always
been athletic and his mother had said he needed to
push himself.

It was less than an hour and he was back,

entering the front of the resort, passing the security
desk and giving the stupid haircut a don’t mess with
me kind of look.

Clark picked up a phone and glared back at

him.

When B.C. got to his room, there was a guy in a

white coat there.

A doctor looking guy.
For a second, he thought of that stupid hospital

he’d been at in D.C when he’d gotten back from his
tour  and  his  knee  was  busted  up.  He  thought  of
laying  there  for  hours  and  having  the  doctor  put
some  crap  in  his  head  about  how  this  wasn’t  his
fault, he would get through it, and that there was so
much more to life. Oh, wait, yes, this was the main
thing: That it had all been worth it.

That entire time, the only thing he could think

about was his friend Troy who hadn’t been in that
hospital with him. Who hadn’t made it. Who hadn’t
been able to get talked to by a shrink for hours
while he couldn’t freaking go anywhere.

He’d been jealous of Troy.
For dying.
The doctor in B.C.’s prison cell looked

inquisitive and put his hand out. “Mr. Knight, I
heard you’d checked in.”

Stopping, B.C. ripped his ear buds out and put

on his play nice face. The one he could summon
from several characters, but he currently didn’t
want to summon. “Hey Doc."

“Doctor Schneider.”
That was how it would be, B.C. noted.
He pumped the doctor’s hand and then blew

past him into his room.

The doctor followed. “So Clark informed me

you went off running. That’s not allowed without
getting permission first."

B.C. found a glass and filled it with sink water,

wondering if they would have premium water or if
he would have to get some lemons while he was
here. He sucked back a long drink. “Sorry,” he said,
and his tone conveying to both of them he didn’t
mean it.

The doctor waited and B.C. sized him up. He

was probably in his early fifties, B.C. judged.
Probably from St. George. This would be a pretty

posh job. Was he good? B.C. inwardly winced.
Where any shrinks good? If they were, he’d already
be fixed, with enough time he’d spent with
therapists.

“So you can’t be doing that. Next time you get

a checkmark and if you get three checkmarks, we
call the judge.”

Anger rolled through B.C. “Oh, teacher, sorry,

next time I’ll wait for the bell.”

Dr. Schneider took in a long, slow breath. “We

are tight on structure the first two weeks.” He held
out the clipboard to him. “I have your schedule on
this sheet.”

B.C. hedged. More freedom taken away.

Perfect. He took the clipboard and knew he wasn’t
being  accommodating,  but  didn’t  care.  He  looked
over  an  hour  by  hour  map  of  his  days.  Which
included  therapy,  exercise,  yoga,  Pilates,  the
meditation  stuff  he  saw  happening  out  there.
Individual  therapy.  He  saw  group  meals.  Movie
nights. What was he at…an adult daycare?

Oh yeah…he was.
Bored, he tossed the clipboard onto the bed and

turned  away  from  the  doctor.  “Fine.”  He  had  to
deal  with  this.  He  longed  for  another  pain  pill  and
wondered  what  he  would  do  to  make  it  through
thirty days of this.

There had been so many times since he’d

started the pills again, that he’d wanted to stop. But

how? His willpower hadn’t been enough. Dang it,
he wanted to hit something. He sucked in a breath,
feeling edgy.

The doctor asked, “B.C., are you okay?”
B.C. didn’t answer. It was one of those

moments  the  Army  tells  you  about  that  when
you’re  captured,  you  never  give  away  pertinent
information  on  troop  movements?  Well,  maybe  he
didn’t  have  troop  movements,  but  he  had  his  own
mission.  Do  his  time  and  get  out.  Get  back  to  life.
He closed his eyes and told himself to be okay. He
needed  to  find  a  character.  Something  to  tap  into
and become while he was here, to help get through
it.  He  went  through  the  character  list  in  his  brain.
He  thought  of  what  Kira  had  said  about  ‘the
jacket’.

“B.C.” The doctor said his name in a low voice.
B.C.’s eyes shot open. He turned to face him.
The doctor had taken off his glasses and was

letting out a long breath. “I know you don’t want to
be here. I know you don’t like having your freedom
taken away. I know you are probably starting to get
edgy for a pill.”

B.C., once again, wouldn’t confirm or deny the

accusations. He was still reading this doctor and
wasn’t sure if the doctor was a friend or a foe.

The doctor held up a pill.
B.C. was surprised to see that it was nearly like

the pill he’d just taken only an hour ago. “Give it to

me.” Every part of him surged and he wanted
another.

“Ah, no.” The doctor slipped it into his pocket.
B.C. would slam him.
The doctor let out a breath. “Clark said when

he searched your bag, he found this one pill. I don’t
know if you dropped it. I would say you will
probably be having some serious withdrawals this
first week.”

All B.C. could think about was the pill.
The doctor moved for the door. “Take the time

to get unpacked and settled in.”

B.C. started to feel like a tied up prisoner. “I

can’t stay here.”

The doctor turned back. “It’s going to get

worse,  son,  before  it  gets  better.  The  next  week  is
going  to  be  hell."  He  gestured  to  the  large  floor  to
ceiling  window  and  the  resort  mountains.  “We’re
forty  miles  from  anyplace  on  purpose.  You  can’t
run far enough to get a pill. And the whole point is,
it’s time to stop running and figure this stuff out.”

Even though B.C. knew it was true, anger raged

inside of him. Anger that he was addicted to these
stupid pills, anger that he’d allowed himself to get
to this point, anger that now he would pay. All he
could see was the look in Troy’s eyes as the blood
gushed out of him and he took his last breath.

B.C. turned to the wall and punched it as hard

as he could.

C H A P T E R 4

One week later

ira  drove  out  to  the  posh  Red
Rock  Acres  rehab  facility  and
thought  of  Movie  Star  boy,  B.C.

Knight.  Truthfully,  he’d  plagued  her  thoughts  far
too  often  the  past  week.  That  awful  night  when
she’d  just  put  Nana’s  body  in  the  ground  and  then
gone  to  the  club  had  been  a  mistake.  She’d  only
gone  because  Kevin  had  told  her  they  could  keep
each  other  company.  Yeah,  she  pffted.  That  had
worked so well. She’d ended up dancing with B.C.,
ended up going to Dixie Rock with him. Ended up
telling  him  things  about  Nana  that  somehow  made
her feel like she’d bonded with him. Then that kiss.

She wouldn’t lie, it had kept her awake at night.

Now, it had actually been his confession that he

was  in  Southern  Utah  for  rehab  that  got  her
thinking  about  a  job  at  Red  Rocks  Rehab.  When
she’d seen that ad in the classifieds for a meditation
and yoga instructor she’d been interested. After all,
Kevin  didn’t  want  her  in  his  business  day  in  and
day  out  at  the  ranch.  Sure,  they’d  been  spending
the  last  week  going  through  Nana’s  things,  but  it
looked like Kevin wanted to keep the ranch and she
was okay with that, if the numbers could support it.
Frankly, she was overwhelmed with the antiquated
system  for  tracking  everything  and  Kevin  had  told
her  she  needed  to  give  him  some  space  to  figure
things out for a few weeks.

So, she’d decided to get a job. This one had

somehow opened up at the right time.

It didn’t help that her boyfriend had been

uncommunicative. Spence. Anger seethed inside of
her. Was he still even her boyfriend? What kind of
boyfriend didn’t come to her Nana’s funeral? Or
send flowers? Or, shoot, even a condolences text?

It had settled into the center of her chest. She’d

fallen  in  love  with  Spence  because  of  his  love  of
saving  the  world,  but  at  the  moment  she  just
wanted  him.  He’d  told  her  he  couldn’t  leave  the
project, so she had dealt with it.

She was resenting having to deal with it more

and more. Resenting Spence.

Now, as she pulled up to the facility, she found

herself  more  impressed  than  she’d  expected  to  be
with its massive size and the sheer beauty of it. The
way  the  architecture  of  the  facility  really  was
complemented  by  the  red  rock,  the  mountains  and
the  desert  around  them.  She  couldn’t  wait  to
practice yoga in this setting.

Getting out of her red VW bug, she pulled out

her  bag  with  her  yoga  mat  and  oils.  She  didn’t
know  what  the  interview  would  entail,  but  she
wanted  to  be  professional.  The  only  thing  she
worried  about  was  that  she  hadn’t  been  certified
since  high  school.  When  she’d  gone  to  Julliard
she’d focused on dance and let all of that go.

She still practiced herself. She had perfect

technique, if she did say so herself. Worry settled
into her. She needed a job. Needed…something in
her life.

She thought of the scholarship application she’d

filled out a couple of days ago. Spence had always
told her that only the really good kids got
scholarships.

It made her angry at herself that she had never

applied until now. She probably wouldn’t get it but
she had to try.

Walking into the facility, she was quietly taken

aback at the fountain in the center with the statue
of the man holding the Earth on his shoulders. She
moved to the front desk.

A guy flashed a wide grin at her. A really tall

guy. He did a sweep of her body, but not in a weird
way. She was used to the sweep, especially when
she wore her dance clothes, but she tried to just be
professional. “Hi, I’m here for the interview. Pilates
and yoga instructor, meditation leader.”

The guy’s smile went wider. Truthfully, his face

wasn’t bad, but, his haircut looked really red neck
somehow, like it didn’t match his tallness.

He stretched his hand out. “I’m Clark, nice to

meet you.” He hesitated, seeming to get lost
looking at her for a second.

The girl standing at the desk, a petite girl, who

was  smacking  her  gum  and  had  ridiculous  fake
eyelashes,  the  kind  that  felt  like  they  could  reach
out  and  snap  at  you,  elbowed  him.  “Clark,  quit
gawking,  call  Dr.  Schneider.”  She  turned  to  Kira
and grinned. “I’m Tricia. Nice to meet you.”

Kira instantly liked Tricia. “I’m Kira.”
Tricia nodded and then gave her body a sweep.

“You  do  look  like  a  yogi.  Quiet  grace.  Long
length.”  Tricia  stretched  her  body  out.  Her  short,
petite  body.  “If  I  do  the  exercises  will  my  body
stretch?”

Clark mumbled something on the phone, then

got off and annoyingly looked at Tricia. “Yeah, I’m
sure.” Then he swung his gaze back to Kira and
plastered on a Ken doll smile. “I’ll take you to the
doctor’s office.”

"Okay.”

Tricia winked at her. “Don’t worry, the doc is

great.”

Nervous butterflies assaulted her as she took off

to follow Clark.

He turned and slowed his pace. “So you’re

applying for the job?”

It felt obvious, but she could tell he was trying

to make small talk. “Yep.”

He nodded. “Are you qualified?” he asked, with

a touch of judgement to his tone.

She wanted to say, "Have you heard of

Julliard? Have you heard of the best Arts program
in the world?" but she had to check her ego. After
all, look at her. She pretty much was nothing at the
moment and she had to get through this summer,
help figure out the ranch and then decide what to
do. Would she go back for her final year?

There was just too much to deal with. She drew

in a deep breath as they got to the door that had a
neat plaque with "Dr. Schneider” engraved on it.

Clark knocked and they heard, "Come in."
Before Clark opened the door he turned to her.

“Hey, just so you know, the staff can hang out.
Even though we can’t hang with the patients, we
can hang with each other.”

Kira wanted to tell the guy she wouldn’t hang

out with him, because she wasn’t the hang out type.
Besides she had a boyfriend. Who wanted to think
about Spence anyway? “Cool.”

“Cool.” Clark repeated and opened the door.
Kira hadn’t known what to expect, but this

room  wasn’t  it.  It  was  large  and  grand  and  if  this
place was a palace, this would be the king’s library.
It  had  the  same  arched  ceiling  feeling  to  it  as  she
imagined  would  be  in  any  castle.  It  had  a  moose
head-like  chandelier  in  the  center.  She  figured  it
could  be  from  some  king’s  castle  or  a
Shakespearean play.

“Thank you, Clark.” The doctor said, clearly

dismissing him.

Clark gave her a half smile, which she returned

but knew her smile was awkward. She didn’t know
what to say.

The doctor waved her in and stood. He was

average height, average build, balding, a beard, and
glasses. Kind eyes.

“Hi there. I’m Dr. Schneider. I’m the

psychiatrist here, but I pretty much run the place,
it’s small enough. I bring in help when I need it.”

She was still nervous, but introduced herself.

"Kira Moonwater.”

The doctor pushed his glasses back. “I got your

resume on my email and it’s impressive.” He
looked up at her. “Julliard.”

She nodded, but was happy that had been

important to him.

His look turned inquisitive. “But, to be honest

with you, that wasn’t why I asked you to come

here.”

Her heart sank. “It wasn’t?”
Shaking his head, a small smile washed over his

face. “Would your grandmother have been
Lulubelle?”

Immediately, she felt the jolt of sadness hearing

her nickname, but she simply said, “Yes.”

The doctor took on a look of sympathy. “I’m

sorry about her passing. I was actually at the
viewing, but I doubt you remember, there were so
many.”

She thought of the overwhelming response from

the community and it made tears come to her eyes.
“Nana was loved.”

The doctor nodded and blinked. “Yes, she was.

A good lady. So, when I saw your last name, I knew
I had to have you come out for the interview.”

She’d always been proud of her last name.

“Thank you.”

His smile widened. “I don’t know if you know

this, but your grandmother and I have been teaming
up  for  many  years  to  find  remedies  for  some
emotional  issues  my  clients  have.”  He  tsked  his
tongue.  "I  don’t  know  what  I  will  do  without  her
and her remedies.”

Kira thought of the whole section of the kitchen

with  cast  iron  culinary  and  herbs  hanging  upside
down,  all  the  containers,  where  she  had  watched,
then  eventually  helped  her  grandmother  make

remedies.  Out  of  nowhere,  the  memory  of
Frankincense  mixed  with  clove  bubbling  through
the air hit her. She remembered burning herself and
her grandmother taking a few drops of lavender and
putting  it  in  a  cold  bowl  of  water.  The  burn  had
magically  gone  away.  The  memory  was  so
powerful,  the  way  her  grandmother  had  held  her
while  she’d  kept  her  hand  in  the  water  and
smoothed  her  forehead  and  whispered  reassuring
words.  “Somewhere  in  Time.”  She  found  tears
coming to her eyes and she blinked.

“I’m sorry." The doctor whispered, taking a

step closer to her and gently putting his hand on her
forearm. “I’m so sorry.”

She blinked harder and took a step back, not

wanting to cry. “Thank you.” She grasped to find
some stability in her mind. Something that would
focus her.

Dr. Schneider cleared his throat. “Okay, so

here’s the deal. We need complete confidentiality
here. Our clients have to know that our staff won’t
leak anything.”

This took her off guard. “I would never do

that.”

“Right.” He pulled out a file. “Well, I need you

to sign these disclosures and just so you know, we’ll
need fingerprints, a full background check, and
routine drug checks.”

She took the papers and started to sign them.

“Of course.”

He sighed. “And I hate to have to spell this out,

but  you’re  signing  a  contract  that  you  won’t  take
any illegal drugs or prescribed medications here. If
you  see  any,  tell  us  immediately.  We  confiscate
them  from  time  to  time,  but  you  don’t  need  to
challenge anyone. Just let us know.”

“I don’t take drugs,” she said defensively.
He put up a hand. "I know. I know.”
At just that moment, she looked out his window

and saw the most random thing.

A man boxing. Well, not boxing so much as

hitting a heavy bag. He was so striking with the
force and violence of him, compared to everything
else going on at the facility, that it stunned her for a
second.

Seeming to sense her distraction, the doctor

turned with her and let out a sigh. "I know. He had
to  have  something  to  hit."  The  doctor  shook  his
head  and  turned  back  to  her.  "Usually,  with  my
patients  I  can  speak  to  them  with  meditation  and
yoga, Pilates, tai chi…but unfortunately, he doesn’t
speak  that  soothing  language  and  he’s  not  good  at
tapping  into  it.”  He  took  in  another  breath.  “But
I’m  not  judging.  Oh  no."  He  waved  his  hand.  "I
learned a long time ago so many things affect each
of us that we have to just be. Exist. We have to find
how  to  handle  those  inner  demons  and  what
language they speak and if they must be exorcised

by  violence,  because  of  inner  or  external  things,
then that is the way to get to them. To purify them.
At  least,  as  much  as  possible.”  The  side  of  his  lip
turned  up.  He  wagged  a  finger  at  her.  "See,  this  is
where  I  would  ask  your  grandmother  for  help.
Something to soothe him.”

The boxer rotated around the bag, bringing his

face  into  view.  Two  things  got  her  attention  at  this
point.  One  was  that  those  were  the  lips  that  had
been  on  hers.  That  was  B.C.  Knight.  That  night  a
week  ago  hadn’t  been  just  in  her  imagination.  Not
that she didn’t know it wasn’t imagined, but part of
her  had  felt  it  was  so  dreamlike.  The  way  they’d
talked and shared.

The second thing was the violence. The

complete precise way he used his body as a weapon
as he not only punched the bag, but unexpectedly
flew off the ground and did a round house kick at
it.

Of course this week she’d Googled the man.

She’d found out even more about him. It hit her in
the pit of her gut. She really wanted to get to know
this man.

Instantly, it was like she knew what he needed.

“Lavender, to soothe him. Maybe mix in hot lemon
water. At the end of the day. I think.”

The doctor gave her an interesting look.
She shrugged. “I just know. I…Kevin says I

have that talent.”

She put her hand over her mouth, wishing she

could gulp back those words. Why had she said
that?

Hesitating for a moment, he laughed and then

pulled his glasses off.

“I should not have said that.” She really

couldn’t believe herself. “I’m not Nana.”

Dr. Schneider still looked happy. He put his

glasses  back  on.  “I  see.  I  have  always  been  under
the belief that herbs are here on Earth to help us. I
believe that about medicine too, but it gets dicier in
the  world  of  addiction.”  He  paused.  “Yes,  some
nighttime  lavender  tea  would  be  good  for  him  I
believe as well. Maybe a dash of…”

“Coriander," she filled in for him. “He needs a

transformation.”

He turned a quick smile to her.
Her heart thumped, but she knew. She just did.

Knew what B.C. needed.

The doctor let out a deep breath. “Well, Ms.

Moonwater,  maybe  you  would  consider  not  just
doing  the  yoga,  meditation,  and  Pilate  classes,  but
maybe  you  would  consider  filling  this  product  list
for me.”

He went to his desk and pulled out a sheet then

handed it to her. It was a product sheet she’d seen
randomly, but hadn’t really thought about. It was
her grandmother’s writing and she saw the prices
on the potions.

It stunned her. They were expensive.
Dr. Schneider pulled her back to reality. “I think

it’s how she helped pay for your Arts school.” He
winked at her.

Her pulse raced. Was this how she’d done it?

Who else was she selling them to? A million
questions flashed through her mind.

She looked up into the doctor's kind brown eyes

and it was one of those times in her life when it felt
like  everything  had  brought  her  to  this  moment.
Like  the  universe,  God,  the  Creator—had  brought
her to this. She nodded. “I can try.” She could make
the products, right? She could have Kevin help. She
could  figure  it  out.  What  was  that  saying?
Creativity  comes  from  desperation.  Something  like
that. Her grandmother had said that to her, too.

He smiled at her, looking at her bag. “Okay,

well, here’s the deal. I have four classes that need
to be taught today. If you can teach them I’ll pay
you forty dollars per class.”

Wow. She’d known instructors got paid well

here. This was pretty amazing. She didn’t want to
tell him she’d let her certifications lapse, but felt
she should. “I’m not certified anymore, I’m sorry.”

He nodded. “Well, then I guess I’ll pay for you

to get recertified, too.”

This dumbfounded her. “You’ll pay for it?”
He grinned at her and reached his hand out.

“Yes.” He flashed her a smile. “Now go talk to

Clark and Tricia. They know how to orientate you
and will help fill out the new employee paperwork.
Your first class is at three.” He looked at his watch.

Her mind was whirling, not only with the fact

that she got a job, but a good job that would pay
over a hundred dollars a day. That was huge for
her.

Startled, she felt someone looking at her. She

knew who it was.

Their eyes met and B.C.’s blue, dazzling, movie

star eyes seemed to pierce her soul.

His shirt was off, sweat was dripping down the

side  of  his  face,  and  his  hands  were  still  curled.
Sweat  pouring,  his  beautiful,  dark  hair  all
modelesque,  he  seriously  looked  like  a  cologne
commercial at the moment. It was like they had met
all over again, in a dream. In the dreams she’d been
having about that kiss.

“Ms. Moonwater."
The doctor’s voice jerked her back to reality

and she felt her erratic heartbeat and could hardly
breathe. There was something that tied her to that
man.

The doctor turned to look at B.C. then back to

her.  “Oh  well,”  he  let  out  what  sounded  like  an
uncomfortable  laugh.  “B.C.  will  be  in  your  classes
today.  I’m  proud  of  the  work  he’s  done.  It’ll  be
good for him.”

C H A P T E R 5

eah, he’d seen her through the glass.

B.C. stood in the shower of the

posh suite. The shower even had glass
that looked out over the manicured

grounds  of  the  facility.  Of  course,  it  was  one-way
glass  –  rich  people’s  glass.  The  kind  where  you
always  get  the  view,  but  the  people  on  the  other
side don’t even know you’re looking at them.

B.C. had seen her clearly.
Dang, if she hadn’t looked like the blonde vixen

from the night at the club.

Would he admit that he’d thought about that

kiss?

No.
It’d been innocent. He hadn’t understood her

being upset and shoving him. How many women
would die to have him kiss them and even more,

pay to put it on the social media sites?

Fine, she did have a boyfriend. He could tell

she wasn’t that kind of woman.

Maybe that’s why he’d been so drawn to her.

Why he hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind.
It was almost like the habit of thinking about drugs
had shifted to thinking about her. Honestly, it was
what had driven him to demand a punching bag
around this place.

He wondered why she’d been here. She was a

performer at Julliard, what would she be doing
here?

He finished the shower and got out, toweling

off quickly. He had a group session, then snack,
which he always opted for a protein shake, then
mandatory yoga. Joy.

Then his mind flipped to the fact she’d been

wearing yoga type clothes. They’d been down an
instructor.

Hope filled him.
Throwing on clothes, he headed to the group

session down the hall thinking of her. Would she be
the new yoga instructor? Dang, she’d be good. He
knew that just from dancing with her. Lithe, long,
lean. And graceful.

He was glad he went through the hardest ‘dry

out’ part last week. It’d been hard. He wasn’t sure
what the doctor had given him to help ease the pain
of drying him out, but he felt measurably better

every day without the use of drugs.

This was huge. No pills. No alcohol.
His mind flashed to her. Was it stupid that this

had been the first thing he’d been excited about all
week? The fact she might be working here?

When they had both stared at each other

through the glass, did she feel it too?

Talk about chemistry. Chemistry in a way he’d

never felt before. He’d felt lust, thought he’d been
in  love  once  after  getting  home  from  the  military
and  before  really  starting  his  acting  career.  And…
he’d  been  attracted  to  women.  A  lot.  But  this.  He
was  a  live  wire  and  she  was  picking  up  all  of  his
electrical  senses  and  shaking  them  around.  Every
part  of  him  was  on  edge.  He  got  to  the  room  they
had  the  therapy  in  and  commanded  himself  to
breathe.  He  was  trying  to  ‘show  improvement’  to
the group. Out of nowhere, he wondered about the
idiot Africa boyfriend.

He re-focused on the group. The first week had

been like a slow torture, including being dragged to
group  therapy.  Truth  be  told,  all  B.C.  could
remember  was  some  kind  of  peppermint  smell.  It
had been comforting. The first week had still been
like  five  layers  of  hell.  He’d  been  feverish,  which
he  hated.  DTs,  or  the  shakes,  had  made  his  body
shake like he was playing the role of an earthquake.
But  his  appetite  was  back  even  though  the
jitteriness  hadn’t  completely  gone  away.  So  that

was good.

Dr. Schneider had made the decision he

wouldn’t  get  his  phone  even  after  his  first  week
was  up.  He’d  told  him  taking  a  break  from  the
pressures  of  social  media  was  helpful  and  the
doctor  thought  B.C.  needed  his  head  clear.  Then
B.C. had approached him about a bag to hit and he
could  tell  the  doc  didn’t  want  to  agree  to  it.  After
an hour of taking the doctor through why punching
something  really  did  clear  his  palette,  the  doctor
had  relented  as  long  as  B.C.  stopped  pushing  the
phone issue.

He was actually starting to like the doctor.

Which was strange. He didn’t make B.C. talk about
all the crap in his past. Rather, he told B.C. stories
about  growing  up  on  a  ranch  in  Canada.  He  had
found  himself  liking  the  way  those  stories  and  the
‘lessons’  in  them,  actually  made  him  reflect  on
things in his own life. The doctor didn’t push. That
aspect  of  this  place  was  so  much  better  than  he’d
expected.

Group session, here he was. It was only his

second time. The other three people were all actors,
too, but not A Listers. Gary, an older guy he didn’t
even  know,  was  clearly  trying  to  work  B.C.  for
some  help  getting  into  another  movie.  He  kept
trying  to  tell  him  about  all  these  old  Three’s
Company shows he’d been an extra in.

Another, a lady named Tina, looked completely

absent sometimes and angry at other times. She was
kind.  She’d  been  in  a  soap  opera  in  the  early
nineties.  B.C.  had  wondered  if  she  was  okay.
Sometimes  it  felt  she  wasn’t  even  paying  attention
but at other times she would hone right in and say
something pretty profound.

Then there was the Kardashian of the group,

Zoe. She was obsessed with her finger nails, and
talking about the pressures of plastic surgery, which
she’d clearly had her fair share of. Her face never
moved; it was locked in a perpetual surprise.

The doctor started the group session by posing a

question about strategies they personally used or
could you imagine using for staying clean?

Surprisingly, it was a good discussion. Not

surprisingly, Zoe said she liked to go to the beach as
a distraction from the mirror.

“Stillness,” she said, in a somewhat nasally,

uppity, diva sounding voice. “I need stillness and if
I find a place to go when I get to feeling like I need
a drug, it helps.”

Gary offered. “Sex.” He sniffed and gave a

longing look to the women.

B.C. ignored him.
Tina, the soap opera star, gave B.C. what he

could only describe as a cougar smile.

There were several other answers. B.C. didn’t

respond. He hadn’t honestly thought about a
strategy.

Most of the time, with his addiction, he’d gotten

used to just berating himself. To thinking all military
—you do or you don’t, you win or you lose. He
should have the will power.

Finally, Dr. Schneider turned to him. “B.C., any

thoughts?”

“Thoughts?" This was putting him out of his

comfort zone.

The doctor smiled. “Think about your thoughts.

We’ll talk later.” He winked.

They covered a few less interesting topics and

B.C. remained just as quiet. They closed the session
and then Dr. Schneider pulled him aside. “Can I
talk to you for a second?”

B.C. nodded. “Okay.”
“B.C., I wanted to bring up the fact, you need

to find some strategy to deal with your drug use. To
replace it. Something to do in place of when you
want to do drugs.”

He grunted.
The doctor looked sympathetic. “You’ve said

before, ‘I’ll just quit, but that hasn’t worked for
you.”

B.C. didn’t like the doctor pushing him. “I’m

hitting a bag.”

“True.” The doctor agreed. “I think that’s a

good  place  to  start.”  He  exhaled  and  gave  B.C.  a
concerned  look.  “In  my  experience,  if  a  person
comes  here  because  it’s  court  ordered,  one  of  two

things will happen; they either buy in to recovery
and really get clean or, they fail. The second group
ends up right back on pills or drugs and this whole
process was a waste of time.”

B.C. thought about the fact he did want to be

clean. That desire grew inside of him. “I want to be
part of the first group, doc.” He decided to be
honest. “I just don’t know how.”

The doctor’s face turned compassionate and he

nodded. “I’m glad you’re being honest, that’s the
first step.”

B.C. nodded and sucked in a breath. “I look at

people, I’ve looked at them for a long time and I’ve
wanted to be free. Free from addiction. I just…” he
broke off, feeling emotional. “I haven’t been able
to do it. I’m just weak.” Self-loathing washed over
him.

The doctor shook his head. “You’re not weak,

B.C., but…this is a weakness for you.”

That made no sense.
The doctor gestured to him. “You obviously,

don’t have a weakness for carbs or chocolate, like I
do.”

B.C. swept his eyes over the doc, who was a bit

paunchy. “Not the same.”

“True.” The doctor leaned forward, getting

more intense. “Not as destructive, but not good for
me.”

B.C. didn’t think they were on the same page at

all.

“My point,” the doctor said, “is that all of us

have  to  find  reasons  we  want  what  we  want  bad
enough.  I’m  sure  for  you,  you  have  just  made  it
your standard that you don’t eat junk because you
don’t  want  to  look  like  me.”  He  flashed  a  smile.
“And I’m not offended by that.” The doctor smiled.
“Hey,  I  haven’t  made  a  choice  I  want  to  live  your
life,  all  buff  and  good-looking.  I  mean  it  would  be
horrible  to  have  women  stare  at  me  the  way  they
stare at you.”

B.C. let out a light laughed, because he could

sense the doctor’s kindness.

“B.C., you have to find the reasons you buy in

to your own recovery. You have to dig deep and
find those reasons, no one can give them to you.”

B.C. suddenly thought of Kira and how she’d

talked about her Nana and God. “Maybe I don’t
have any.”

The doctor let out a breath. “I don’t think that’s

true. I think you just need to think about it. You
know, there’s a lot of good drug and alcohol
programs that focus on tapping into a higher power.
You might thing about that.”

B.C. thought about the last time he really felt

God in his life. It’d been during the war. He looked
away from the doctor.

The doctor moved toward the door, then turned

back. “And, there’s another thing.”

B.C. felt nervous, instantly. “Okay.”
An intense look swept over his face. "Here’s

the deal. I don't know what you have going on with
Ms. Moonwater, but just let her be, okay?”

This took him completely off guard. “What?”
The doctor nudged him. “I may be a doctor of

healing, but I can see a broken heart and when you
two were looking at each other…” he broke off and
shook his head. “I don’t know, I would just ask that
you let Ms. Moonwater deal with some things first."

It was ridiculous that the doctor would even say

this. The words came out before he could take them
back. “Did she tell you that we kissed?”

Now the doctor’s eyes widened and he looked

baffled. “How have you kissed her already?”

B.C., realizing all his ability to keep his mouth

shut had obviously been lost when he’d quit the
pills, threw his hands up. “I met her the night
before coming here and I kissed her.”

The doctor let out a long breath. “This is not

good. Lulubelle would not have liked this.”

“Lulu who?”
The doctor waved a hand. “Never mind.

Just…”  He  let  out  another  breath.  “Please  don’t
kiss  her  in  the  class  you  have  with  her  this
afternoon.”  The  doctor  shook  his  head.  “Keep  it
professional, B.C. For your sake and hers.”

B.C.

SAT

YOGA

CLASS

, or better, he half-sat half-

stretched his leg to the side and felt like he would
die. She’d worked them amazingly hard.

Her body wasn’t just a long, lean body, it was

trained to twist and turn in all sorts of ways.
Clearly, she was trying to kill them.

“I want you to feel the stretch,” Moonwater

said. He smiled as he thought of her last name.

Oh man, he could have fun with that last name.
Then he felt her hands on his shoulders, pushing

him further into the stretch. “Let yourself breath
and extend."

He liked her hands on his shoulders. How did

he tell her everything he liked about her? The lithe,
long,  graceful  way  she  moved  around  the  room.
The  way  her  blonde,  curly  short  hair  seemed  to
flow  with  the  pink  flowy  thing  she  wore  over  the
black  unitard.  Everything  about  the  woman  felt
feminine.

When they’d started the class, his heart had

raced so fast he’d thought he was having a panic
attack, but it had nothing to do with the exercise.

She’d been completely professional, introducing

herself as Kira. He liked that name, too. He thought
Yoga Moonwater had a ring to it also, no one could
deny it.

She moved back to the front and went easily

into the pose she had them planted in. “Okay, now I
want you to move to downward dog.”

She easily bridged her body to that position.
There were five people, including him, in this

class. There was light, flowing, water kind of music
playing. There was the smell of something in the
air. Something he wasn’t sure what, but he was
actually feeling relaxed today.

He tried to go back to downward dog, grunting

and  knowing  his  body  would  probably  scream  at
him tomorrow a lot more for this than it would for a
three-hour  punching,  kicking  session  on  the  bag.
He’d  always  resisted  this  type  of  instruction  as
much  as  he  could.  Some  movie  producers
demanded  it  for  technique  and  smoothness  in
movements, so he did it. He could tolerate it. It just
wasn’t his favorite.

She continued her professional posture, taking

them through all the moves. What could he say? He
liked  her  style.  It  was  just  like  her—lithe,  lean,
graceful.  By  the  end  of  class,  he  found  he  was
sweating  but  he  felt  really  good.  She  ended  the
class  with,  “Namaste.”Which  they  all  repeated
back.

Most people started shuffling off, but the older

nineteen-seventies guy, Gary, stayed back and tried
to chat her up. “Have you ever watched Three’s
Company? I was on the sixth episode, the
fourteenth, the twenty-sixth.”

She gave him a very curt, unimpressed look,

then succinctly put things away, turned off the

diffuser, then turned the music doc off of her
phone. “Well, nice to meet you, Gary, I must go
now.”

She sounded nurse-like. Why did he think that?

Maybe like she was trying out to be a nurse in a
movie. She was just being orderly.

He waited until Gary left, crossing his arms

when Gary looked at him expectantly, saying 'we
have to leave' without using words.

He gave Gary a ‘take off and I won’t rearrange

your face’ look.

Luckily, Gary took the hint and left.
Suddenly, all the pretense was gone. She turned

and asked quietly, “How are you?”

Her words melted inside of him. It was strange

at how soft they sounded. It sounded like she really
cared. “I’m okay.” He felt himself smile and
realized it was a real deep down type of smile.

She nodded.
He coughed. “Anyway, how’s Kevin? How’s

the ranch?” It was funny to him, that she’d been
part of his other life and now this life.

She shrugged and turned to the large window

that overlooked another section of the mountains.
The sun was still high in the sky. “He’ll be happy I
got a job today and can stay out of his hair a little
bit." She shrugged. “We're still trying to figure out
what to do with the ranch.”

He wanted to say something. To ask something

else, but he didn’t know what to ask. “I’ve thought
of you.” It actually didn’t sound as lame as it could
have.

She didn’t respond.
“How’s … the Africa guy?” he didn’t mean to

say it like a checkmate, but he couldn’t help it.

It was even better when their eyes met and she

looked bugged. “None of your business.”

It actually made him feel better she was just

treating  him  like  a  normal  person.  He  grunted.  “I
was  wondering  if  you  were  all  right.  You’re  the
only  thing  I’ve  thought  about  besides  my  own
problems.” He didn’t like being vulnerable or even
sounding that way.

Their eyes held and finally she blinked and

shook her head. “I can’t talk about that kiss.”

Man, she was breaking his heart. He full on

grinned. “Proves you’re thinking about it.”

She let out a loud laugh and turned for the door,

but didn’t leave yet. “Oh, the movie star ego."

He liked that he felt more himself with her. The

past couple of days he’d felt not at all like himself
and he knew it was the absence of pills. All the
thoughts he'd been having seemed foreign. He
followed her to the door. It was just nice to flirt for
a minute. “How’s Spence again?”

She hesitated. “You remembered his name.”
Dang, that did show he was paying close

attention to the stupid boyfriend. “I remembered

he’s an idiot.”

She walked out of the room and waited for him.

“I shouldn’t be talking to you about that.”

He shrugged. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I work here. I need to keep

things confidential.”

It felt like she was grasping for a reason not to

talk to him. “Is Spence confidential?” He was
humored that she clearly felt a bit nervous, too. “I
mean, the guy’s not even in the country, so I don’t
think he’d qualify as a confidential topic.”

A look of what was hopelessness or misery

washed over her face. “I don’t want to talk about
it." She put her yoga master face in place.

He felt like a puppy begging for a treat at her

side but he didn’t care. “Have you heard from him?
Did he even call yet?” Was he really pushing her
for information about her boyfriend?

“I have to go, see you tomorrow,” she

whispered and took off fast down the hall.

He watched her go and thought of that first

night on the dance floor with her, twirling her
around in the air. He thought of the freedom he’d
felt. The realness. The grace and the beauty.

He kept watching as she gave Clark and Tricia a

key then turned for the front doors.

It was stupid how happy it made him when she

turned and looked back, catching his eye before
walking out.

C H A P T E R 6

our days later, Kira was just
finishing the day around three

o’clock when she thought, again, about the fact she
hadn’t  seen  B.C.  It’d  become  his  kind  of  joke  to
come  to  all  her  classes.  He  said  he  had  to  get
‘special  permission’  to  add  all  of  her  classes  to  his
schedule.  It  was  more  than  a  bit  unnerving,  but
also, she had to admit she liked it.

Most of the time he’d stay and flirt after. Too

bad the seventies guy, Gary, also liked to stay and
flirt. She could tell it was grinding on B.C., which
made it kind of funny.

B.C. had become such a meaningful, fun,

flirtatious  part  of  her  days.  In  fact,  it  had  actually
surprised  her  that  Doctor  Schneider  had  asked  her
to  start  doing  a  night  meditation  class,  too.  She’d
agreed,  of  course,  because  it  paid  another  forty

bucks an hour.

She checked out at the front desk with Clark

and Tricia when Clark did his patented hit-on that
she’d also grown accustomed to.

“What are you doing tonight, Kira?” He looked

her up and down.

She was tired of him acting like he could just

stare at her all the time. She pulled her shrug tight
around her shoulders.

Tricia smiled at her, but rolled her eyes at Clark.

"We’re all going out, meeting at the dance club
your cousin works at. Want to meet us?"

She didn’t. “Uh, can’t.” She couldn’t. It was

exhausting going through all Nana’s records and
she was still trying to figure out the system and the
recipes and learn how to fill all the orders Doctor
Schneider had been asking for.

Clark’s gaze swept her from top to bottom. He

was one of those guys who looked clean cut, but he
always gave her a weird vibe. “Are you sure?”

She tried not to look creeped out. “I better go.”
That’s when she heard the shouting before she

saw him.

“You selfish, ungrateful, brat!” There was a

woman stalking down the hall from Dr. Schneider’s
office.

B.C. was there, following her, his jaw tight, and

his eyes bloodshot. If she didn’t know better, she’d
think he’d been crying. “Don’t do this, Mom. Do.

Not. Walk. Out.”

She clicked down the hall in her stilettos and

tight,  gold  pants.  Kira  was  shocked  to  notice
extremely  long  fingernails  and  very  eighties  hair-
band hair, like it had been Aqua-Netted. She had a
fierce  scowl  and  looked  like  she  would  rip
someone’s head off.

“Mom.” B.C. caught up to her.
She spun on him. “How dare you say that to

anyone.”

Dr. Schneider appeared. “Mrs. Knight, please.

Come back to my office and we can sort this out.”

“I will not!” she shouted. She shook her head

and looked exasperated at B.C.

Kira saw B.C’s anger turn into a cool, calm

face.

He’d slipped into a mask so easily. It was

impressive, really. It also made her feel bad for him.

He narrowed his eyes at his mother and took a

step back, putting up his hands. “Fine, Mom, do
whatever you want."

She huffed and looked around at everyone in

the  hall.  "What  are  you  all  looking  at?”  She
growled,  looking  like  a  cat  cornered  in  an  alley.
“Haven’t  you  seen  a  dysfunctional  son  before?”
Her  eyes  stopped  on  Kira  and  flashed  even  more
anger. She pointed at her. “You…you’re the one he
met the night before he checked in here.”

B.C. was instantly next to his mother, taking her

forearm and pulling her back. “Mom, stop.”

She kept her angry glare on Kira. “Be careful,

my pretty. He told me about how you talked
beneath the stars.”

“Mother!” B.C. looked angry.
She let out a witchy laugh and turned back to

him. “I bet you were stoned, drunk, and out of your
head,  like  you  always  are.”  She  let  out  another
laugh.  Her  gaze  turned  back  to  Kira,  she  glared  at
her.  “I  won’t  even  tell  you  what  he  said  about
you.”

Kira was speechless.
For a brief second, B.C.’s eyes flashed to hers.

His  mask  actually  slipped.  She  saw…neediness,
desperation  …  pain.  The  guy  from  the  first  night,
the  one  who  had  told  her  about  his  friend  Troy
when they were sitting on the boulder “I” on top of
the  Dixie  rocks,  looking  out  over  the  town.  He
reached  for  his  mother,  putting  a  hand  on  her
shoulder. “Please stop.”

His mother yanked away and rushed to the

doors yelling back to him. “Just get your butt out of
here and get the bills paid!”

In the aftermath everyone was quiet.
Kira’s heart was racing and she couldn’t believe

how  horrible  it  had  been  to  see  that.  Kira  thought
about the fact Litsea was currently diffusing in the
background.  Nana  always  said  Litsea  would  help
one  rise  above  the  fear  of  rejection  and  being

misunderstood, B.C. needed that right now.

Her mind flitted back to his mother. What had

he told her?

B.C. looked at her, then a ticked-off looked

washed over his face and she saw his hands clench
into fists.

She wanted to reach out to him, to soothe him

somehow.

“B.C.” Dr. Schneider was next to him, putting

his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go back to my
office.”

They disappeared down the hall toward the

doctor’s office.

Kira walked out, thinking about B.C. It might

be stupid or completely insane, especially since he
was  a  movie  star  in  a  drug  rehab  facility.  Not  to
mention  the  fact  she  was  in  the  middle  of  a  semi
breakdown in her own life, and she’d probably lose
her  job  over  it,  but…she  had  to  know  if  he  was
okay. To do that, she’d have to get closer to him.

Her mind flashed to Spence and she thought

about the fact she was missing him less and
thinking about B.C. more and more. It seemed her
crazy life was only getting worse by the hour and
she wasn’t sure how she was going to fix any of it.

C H A P T E R 7

.C. sat outside of the facility on one of
the benches. He hadn’t been very
responsive in group therapy all day. His

mother’s exit the day before had been powerful and
indicative  of  his  whole  life.  He  sighed.  At  least  he
was  seeing  some  of  the  truth.  His  mother  was  a
master manipulator. Sure, she loved him. The whole
reason  she  said  she  was  angry  at  him  was  because
he  was  supposed  to  pay  the  bills.  And—if  he  lost
his  next  movie  gig,  where  would  the  money  come
from?

It hadn’t sat right with him how she’d used Kira

to … what? What was her master game with Kira?
Annoyance rippled through him and he turned up
his tunes on his mp3 player.

How embarrassing. He felt like he was in

middle school and his mother had found out his

crush  and  brought  him  lunch  and  told  all  his
buddies.  He  stood,  sucking  in  a  long  breath.  It’d
been quite a wake up call to realize everyone, even
his  mother,  wanted  something  from  him.  He  took
off, wanting to go to Kira’s meditation class around
the corner, but unable to face her still.

The doctor had released him from having all his

hours in a set schedule, but he’d liked going to her
classes.

Too bad with her, he didn’t feel like he could

pretend. Couldn’t fall into one of his characters so
easily. Which was stupid and weird for him. Or
maybe that was good, he wasn’t sure at the
moment.

He took off into a jog and passed a couple of

trails before deciding last minute to try a new one.
As  he  almost  tripped  off  the  path  from  turning  so
quick,  he  discovered  a  hidden  trail.  Not  really  a
trail,  but  a  path.  It  went  down  under  a  rock
outcropping and opened up into a cave. He had to
crouch,  but  as  he  went  in,  he  heard  water  rushing.
He climbed through the dark, dankness of the cave,
then  was  surprised  that  it  opened  up.  The  ceiling
opened and he was able to stand up straight.

The sound of water was louder here, and it took

his eyes a minute to adjust to the low light and see a
waterfall running down a rock face into a pool, and
running off into a stream.

Incredible delight washed over B.C. “No way.”

Immediately, he was taking off his shoes and socks
and stripping down. He stepped into the water,
expecting to cool his feet, but the water was warm.
With a sigh of pleasure, he immersed himself in the
water. The bottom of the pool was smooth stone
and he found himself in his own private hot tub.

“No way,” he stated again as he let the water

flow around him, loving every second of it.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, trying

not to think, but not being able to stop thinking.
Then he heard. “B.C.”

He jolted to a standing position. Luckily the

water covered his lower half. “Kira?”

She was unexpectedly right in front of him,

emerging from the low entrance. Her face turned
wondrous by degrees as her eyes adjusted. “Oh my
gosh!”

He grinned at her. “Right?”
He sat back down in the water looking

ridiculously happy she was here. They were here.
Alone. Together. Water swishing around him. It was
like a scene in a movie. “Aren’t you supposed to be
at mediation class?”

She looked around slowly, taking in the natural

wonder. When her eyes reached the pile of his
clothes, she focused in on them then abruptly took
on a look of shock. She laughed and put up a hand
as she turned away. “Oh my gosh, you’re naked,
aren’t you?”

He was mesmerized by this woman and he

didn’t want her to run off. “Wait. You can’t see
anything. I won’t move.”

She wore a black unitard with a pink shawl type

thing and flip flops.

He thought she looked amazing. So fresh and

natural. Nothing like the women on movie sets with
ten layers of makeup.

“I can’t be here.” She moved back.
Pushing ahead with his question, he asked it

again. “Why aren’t you at meditation class?”

Hesitating, she turned back. “You’re sure I

can’t see anything?”

He grinned, thinking again how she was so

different than other women he’d been around. “I
promise.”

Slowly, she turned to face him, tentatively

moving closer.

He gestured to the water. “Get in.”
Glowering at him, she shook her head. “I don’t

think so.”

Yeah, he didn’t think she’d go for it. “So why

no meditation class, Moonwater?” He liked saying
her last name.

She shrugged, turning and studying the

waterfall.  “Gary  is  having  some  Three’s  Company
marathon.  Apparently,  Dr.  Schneider  said  it  was
okay,  so  everyone’s  there.”  She  shrugged  and
gestured to the waterfall. “I can’t believe this."

He let out a small laugh. “I know, right? It’s

crazy. Like …” he couldn’t stop himself from
flirting with her. “Like our own private hot pool.”

Her eyes went to his chest, then away. “I have

to get out of here.” She rushed to leave.

“No!” he begged, wanting to get out and follow

her, but knowing he shouldn’t because he was
naked. “Please. I … would really like to just talk.”

Hedging, she turned back and he swore he saw

her blushing. “I could get in so much trouble. This
isn’t…”

“Hey, you didn’t know, okay. You don’t even

have to get in. Just…stay.” He immediately felt
vulnerable. “Please. For five minutes.” He pulled
out his car salesman act. “If you’re not happy being
here, you can leave. Five minutes.” He held up five
fingers.

Eyeing him, her eyes clouded. “Always pulling

out a different character, aren’t you?”

He found it relieved him that she knew when he

was doing it. “It’s easier to be someone else.”

For a beat she didn’t respond, then she said. “I

saw you switch when your mom was there.”

Checkmate.
His heart raced and he realized this woman was

able  to  read  his  mind  better  than  he  could
sometimes. Too bad when he thought of his mother
all  he  wanted  to  do  was  cover  the  fact  he  …  hurt
inside.  Pain  usually  sent  him  scrambling  for  pills,

but right now, he knew he’d be fine if he could just
stay here … with Kira.

Their eyes held and he had this crazy real

energy he hadn’t experienced before. Maybe on the
battlefield he’d felt intensity like this. Real, raw,
with nothing holding anyone back.

“How’s Spence?” he blurted, revealing exactly

how vulnerable he was.

She glared at him and he immediately wished he

hadn’t asked that.

“I mean…” Dang, why had he asked that?
She wagged a finger at him. “You’re just trying

not to talk about your problems.”

It felt pointless to deny it. He waved a hand

through the air. “You’re right. I am.” Man, it
sucked being real sometimes.

He noticed her eyes trailing to his chest.
Even better distraction. He pumped his pecs

back and forth.

Their eyes met again and she shook her head

looking caught, but she started to laugh. “I…I’m
sorry.”

Without missing a beat he said, “I feel cheap.”
She laughed harder.
Oh how he liked it, relished it, wanted more of

it. This woman and the way she blushed when he
caught her checking him out. She was … so
refreshing. Like a new addiction to him. Similar to
fireworks on the Fourth of July when he was a kid

and it would end, but everyone would wait for
more. He’d always hoped for one more finale.

Addiction wouldn’t be the right word for it, but

there was something about her he couldn’t get
enough of. That’s where he was with this woman. It
rocked him to realize this.

A shift happened between them and he felt the

intensity ratcheted up a notch. Man, this would be
great emotional tension in a movie scene.…They
were co-writing it right now. Dang, he wanted to
kiss her again.

She glared at him and he could tell she was

embarrassed. “I bet you get women staring at your
chest all the time.”

He didn’t answer. On purpose. Kind of enjoying

her embarrassment. How many women had he
dated recently who’d been…not at all embarrassed
about anything?

“You’re just … I don’t know why I’m still

here,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning
against the cave wall.

Seeing her get a little bit comfortable made him

unreasonably happy.

He laughed and purposefully tried to ease the

tension, smiling. “Fan Girl. You can’t help it, that’s
okay.”

“Ha. Ha.”
He snapped, “Wait, what you really meant that

night at the dance club was that you loved my

movies and you really liked the scene with the
Brooklyn mob, can’t get enough of my Brooklyn.”
He started into some phrases. “Hey, give me a
quarter for some coffee.”

She laughed again and he basked in the beauty

of the sound of it as it echoed off the rocks and
over the water. It was like soaring with this woman.
He couldn’t stop more phrases from the movie from
coming out. “I’m not a mobster, but I can be a
great addition to your organization.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “You have obviously

thought about what I said that night.”

Caught. He let out a laugh, trying to play it

cool. So what if he had? So what if, as he stumbled
through his drug withdrawal state over the last two
weeks,  he’d  been  practicing  that  stupid  accent,
thinking about how it resonated through his mouth.
Thinking  about  what  she  would  think  about
different  iterations  of  the  accents.  He  let  a  small
smile  play  at  his  lips.  “Maybe  I  care  what  you
think.”

The next words out of her mouth surprised him.

“I was worried about you after yesterday."

The realness of this moment took him off guard,

he blinked and looked away. “I was fine.”

“Just because you say it, doesn’t make it real.”

She whispered.

He looked back at her, feeling all this concern

coming off of her. She was busting his act all over

the place and he really didn’t know what to say.

“Do you and your mom get along?”
He scoffed. “You The Enquirer?”
She grunted. “If that’s why you think I’m here,

I’m going.” She turned for the exit.

“I don’t think that’s why you’re here.” He said

quickly, his heartrate increasing.

She hesitated.
“The truth sucks, okay.” He was playing the

pity card. Too bad he felt pitiful.

She turned back to him. “Are you going to talk

to me? As B.C.?”

It annoyed him, as much as he liked it, that she

could tell if it was him talking versus a character.
“I’m sorry. I just….”

Not moving, she nodded. “I get it. You don’t

know exactly who you are at the moment. That’s
okay.” She let out a light laugh. “That’s actually not
just a trait of an actor, ya know? Sometimes none of
us know who we are at different moments.”

He thought of the first night he’d met her, how

wild she’d been. He grinned. “I actually still liked
you that night, you know.”

Again, this realness that kept happening

between them happened again.

He shrugged. “I pretty much like all the

versions I’ve seen of you.” So what, he was laying
it all out. So what? That’s how he felt and he was
tired of wearing a freaking mask every second. “I

like you, Kira. I don’t know if I’d even be the right
guy for you.” He snorted, feeling messy. “You have
a boyfriend.” He stated in an annoyed voice. “All I
know  is  you’re  different  than  other  women  I’ve
been  around.”  He  laughed  at  himself  again.  “Not
that I’ve been around women of such …” how did
he  put  it.  “Quality  before.”  Had  he  just  said  that?
He  cringed  and  pinched  the  bridge  of  his  nose.
“Never mind. I’m saying this all wrong.”

When she didn’t respond right away he looked

up at her.

For a few moments they just stared at each

other. It was the hardest character scene he’d ever
done because … it wasn’t a scene at all.

It was him. And her. Just two people, sharing

something real.

“I broke it off with Spence.” She said and held

his eyes.

Minefield. He’d just walked into one. Did he

want to fist pump the air? Yes, but he didn’t want to
make  light  of  her  feelings.  “Okay.”  He  swallowed,
feeling  less  like  an  idiot  and  more  like  …  maybe
this  woman  might  like  him,  too.  Strike  that.  He
knew she liked him, but maybe there might actually
be hope for he and this woman.

“Are you okay?” He asked slowly, wishing he

was wearing a swimsuit or something because it
was getting hot and he wanted to get out and really
talk to her.

She nodded, then a small smile played at her

lips. “I think so. I am actually amazed it didn’t hurt
me. It’s like I’ve been bracing myself to be upset,
ready to run out and buy the chocolate, but … I
haven’t needed it.”

His heart raced. Oh man, oh man, this woman

and all these feelings he was having about her and
now  he  didn’t  know  what  to  do.  It  was  like  …  he
had  no  game.  Normally,  he  would  hit  on  her  or
something  but  she  wasn’t  like  any  kind  of  woman
that he’d met before.

She frowned. “Tell me the truth about your

mom.” She said softly. “Are you really okay?”

Worry coursed through him and all of a sudden

he  wanted  to  tell  her  anything  she  wanted.  He  felt
safe  with  her.  He  splashed  his  face.  “My  mother
sees  me  as  a  bank.”  He  couldn’t  stand  to  look  her
in the eyes and see the immediate pity. He messed
with  the  bubbles  around  him  in  the  water.  “I’ve
known  that,  but  not  …  really.”  He  felt  himself
actually get emotional, which really pissed him off.
“I  didn’t  really  know  it  until  she  admitted  it  with
Dr.  Schneider.”  He  met  her  eyes  again.  “She  said,
‘You need to clean up so you can pay for my house.
You promised me that.’” It shocked him that he was
actually  tearing  up.  He  sniffed  and  looked  away,
trying to think of something else.

“That sucks,” she said plainly.
He met her eyes and saw a sincerity that he

honestly wasn’t accustomed to. How come every
bit of her sincerity made him feel more and more
enthralled with this woman?

He shrugged. “Boo-who I have a mother who

uses me. Waa, cry me a river.” He thought of all the
guys he’d served with. “Believe me, it could be
worse. There are a lot of people who would kill for
my life.”

She wagged a finger at him. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” He thought he was being tough. Cause

he couldn’t stand whiny, even from himself.

“Don’t act like—just because you’re vulnerable

about something that you shouldn’t be.”

Her words hit the center of his chest.
“Everyone’s vulnerable sometimes.” She lifted

her eyebrows.

He liked her. Man, he liked her. “I suppose

Nana said that.”

A small smile played at her lips. “She did.” She

turned on her heel and waved a hand at her face. “I
seriously have to leave because I’m way too hot.”
She crouched and went through the hole.

Immediately, he stood and got his clothes,

stickily pulling them on his body and rushing after
her. “Wait!”

He scooted through the opening and weaved his

way out and down the path. The air felt cool.
Which was funny because it was St. George, Utah
in June, which was never described as cool.

“Wait! Wait!” He called when he saw her half-

way up the path to the facility. To his delight, she
stopped.

He caught up to her and got a whiff of …

something. Orangey? “Are you wearing orange
perfume?”

She stopped walking and glared at him. “Why

would you ask that?”

Okay, she was weird about him smelling her.

“Because I just smelled it on you.”

Then she closed her eyes and let out a light

laugh “Stinking’ Kevin. Be still my heart,” she said
softly.

For a second he was confused. “Excuse me?”
She gave him a brilliant smile and laughed. “My

cousin, he put this potion on me this morning as I
walked out of the door and …” she laughed again.
“I can’t believe it.” She looked mystified.

For some stupid reason he remembered when

her cousin had talked about a love potion and her
Nana. “Is this the same love potion from the dance
club?”

“No.” She was even more embarrassed and

began walking faster. “I just…” she waved a hand
through the air.

He took her hand to stop her. “Wait. Explain,”

he demanded.

She laughed, again. He didn’t know what was

happening, but he loved her hand in his and he

loved the way her face flushed all embarrassed.

She looked at their hands and yanked hers

back.  “No,  I…Nana  had  some  herbal  remedies,
some  oils  that  she  would  call  potions  when  she
would  mix  them.”  She  sighed.  “We’ve  been
rummaging through them and I found a couple and
mixed them up. Dr. Schneider actually used to buy
some  and  asked  if  I  would  sell  some  to  him.  He
uses  them  to  help  patients  manage  their  emotional
states.” She looked down at her wrist again. “Kevin
put some on me this morning when I wasn’t looking
and  just…”  she  trailed  again.  “He  said  maybe  it
would get your attention.” She looked sharply up at
him. “I don’t want your attention.”

The way she was denying she wanted it, made

him grin wider. “Well, you can tell Kevin that it
worked.” He winked at her.

She yanked her hand back. “Stop, I shouldn’t

have gone in there and talked to you. I shouldn’t
have told you about Spence. I shouldn’t—”

It was too late, he took her hand again. “Yes,

you should have. And, thank you.” He was sincere.

She seemed to sense his sincerity because she

didn’t pull back.

“I needed to talk and you helped.” Chills

rushed over him at how true his words were.
“Thank you.”

Her eyes fluttered and she nodded, then pulled

her hand back. “You’re welcome.”

For a second they just stood there and he really,

really, really wanted to kiss her.

He put a finger into the air dramatically, like

some brilliant scientist with a new discovery. “Hey,
if your potion works, then you could pay for
Julliard all on your own.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah.”
“I’m serious, I would totally endorse it.” He

flashed another grin, then put a hand out, not
wanting to make her mad. “But only if you wanted
me to. Not because I’m … overcompensating and
doing nice things for you.”

“Stop!” She threw her hands up.
He laughed and it hit the center of his chest.

She  was  real.  This  girl.  She  was  at  the  facility  to
make money. Her Nana was gone. She was trying to
figure  things  out.  His  respect  for  her  was  going  up
by  leaps  and  bounds.  “Regardless  of  whether  I’m
attracted to you because of a potion or not, I would
still endorse it.”

She shook her head.
He laughed, loving this. “I’m kidding.” Kinda.

“It is really cool that you’re learning that stuff.” He
smelled her again. “Whatever it is, I think you can
tell Kevin…it does something.”

“It’s called, ‘Talk to Me.’”
“What?” B.C. asked.
“The name of the potion is called … ‘Talk to

Me.’”

B.C. grinned. “So it did work.”
Shaking her head, she looked dismissive.

“Whatever.”

“You don’t think it works?” he challenged.
“I don’t know. I guess. Nana always said,

‘When you need help…try a potion…and a walk in
prayer with God.’”

This made him smile. “That’s right, she was a

believer.”

She let out a breath. “Yes, she was.”
For a brief moment B.C. wondered what it

would be like to believe. In something. Sure, he
believed in God, but…to walk with God?

She pointed at him. “I think AA talks about

believing in a higher power, right?”

He felt caught, and reminded that he was…

deficient. “Uh, yeah.”

She winked at him. “Maybe it might be worth

the walk.”

They approached the facility and he opened the

door for her. “Dr. Schneider thinks God might help
me too.”

She hesitated. “We should probably not really

talk anymore and I should go.”

He waited. “Probably,” he stated, wanting to

tell her she was totally wrong. “You do have that
potion on, so it’s kinda beyond our control.” He
opened the door for her.

Laughing, she stepped through the door. “If

C H A P T E R 8

ira  was  exhausted.  It’d  been
another  week  at  Red  Rocks,  and
she  loved  teaching  four  classes  a

day. It was still four classes a day, on top of other
responsibilities to help with other activities
throughout the week.

When she did the sunrise class it meant getting

up at four, driving out here by five. Then putting
everything she had into the class. It was
invigorating and at the same time exhausting.

The other thing that was pressing on her…was

him.

B.C.
He was always there. Every class she taught.

She wanted to say, don’t you have more therapy or
something?

Well, candidly, she didn’t want to say that. She

should say that, but that didn’t mean she wanted to
say it.

Her classes were during the hours between

therapy  sessions  and  he  was  never  intrusive.
Truthfully,  he  was  amazing.  Not  only  was  he
muscular  and  fit,  but  he'd  clearly  been  trained  in
many  disciplines.  After  all,  she’d  seen  his  movies,
he  had  skills.  And  she’d  done  more  research  on
him.  He  was  currently  being  considered  for  some
war  drama  that  some  were  touting  as  the  next
‘Pearl  Harbor.’  It  was  just  stupid  crazy  she  even
knew so much detail about him.

The media didn’t know where he was at the

moment, and there was some talk that he might be
in a rehab facility somewhere. Apparently, someone
had leaked he had a pain pill addiction with the
DUI. She hated the media.

Pushing away all crazy thoughts, she focused

on  the  best  part  of  getting  up  and  out  here  this
early, the stillness of the morning. The beauty of the
red rocks. She had her shoes off and was on a patch
of  grass  the  facility  kept  up  for  classes.  Dr.
Schneider  liked  the  fact  she  was  having  them  go
barefoot on the grass. He said that it was good for
them  to  be  grounded.  Kira  couldn’t  get  enough  of
it.  She  was  finding  herself  feeling  like  she  too  was
healing with all these therapeutic classes.

Peace filled her.
Nana's spirit.

Immediately, she thought she might be sad, but

the peace only deepened.

At least there was that. “Nana,” she whispered.

It’d  been  interesting  to  spend  some  time  with  Dr.
Schneider  going  over  the  concoctions  Nana  had
supplied him. It was even more interesting to open
up  Nana’s  old  cookbooks  and  find  those  recipes.
Kevin  had  continued  to  put  a  different  potion  on
her every day. Ugh! It was annoying. He’d ask her
how often B.C. had spoken to her each day. Today
he’d hugged her and she’d known he was going to
lather  her  with  something.  She  took  a  long  breath
and  grinned.  Heart  to  heart.  That’s  what  he’d  put
on her.

Her peace of mind only lasted for a second

because  her  mind  flitted  to  stupid  Spence’s
incessant  phone  calls.  She’d  been  ignoring  them
and  he  was  leaving  more  and  more  messages.  She
thought  of  how  he’d  been  to  St.  George  last
Christmas and he’d hated the ranch and everything
about it. Which was funny, because he was helping
people in Africa learn how to raise cat fish farms.

There was also something else that had been

niggling  her  about  living  in  St.  George  lately.  She
realized  she  liked  being  back  a  lot  more  than  she
would  have  thought.  She  didn’t  have  high  school
friends she hung out with or anything. She liked her
job  and  she  liked  seeing  the  difference  it  was
making in her students’ lives and … she hated how

much she liked seeing B.C. every day.

Dang it.
Her phone buzzed and she saw that it was

actually Spence again. She didn’t have long until
class, but she was tired of his incessant calling.

“Hey.” She kept her voice tight. “You need to

stop calling.”

“How is the morning yoga class?” he asked

quietly.

“Spence, I told you we’re through. You have to

quit leaving all those messages.”

“Oh, so you don’t have time to talk to me

anymore?”

Confusion filled her because he sounded like he

had a right to be angry with her.

Which made her mad. Her heart rate kicked up

a notch and she thought of all the things she’d
wanted to say to him. “How are the catfish ponds
going?” she asked in a very annoyed voice.

His breath hitched. “Fine.”
“Good.” She wanted off this call. Her hand had

started to twitch.

“Kira, I have to know, will you be back for the

fall semester?”

She let out a breath. “I can’t talk about this

right now.” How did she explain to him, a guy who
never worried about money, that she wasn’t sure if
she’d have the money?

“Is it the money?” he asked, seeming to read

her thoughts. “Because I’ll pay for it.”

This stunned her. He was from money, but he

didn’t  have  money.  Not  assessable  money  that
could  pay  her  tuition.  He  had  to  go  beg  from
mommy  and  daddy  for  his  money.  Not  to  mention
he had never offered to even pay for dinner most of
the time.

“I will. Kira, I love you. I know I’ve been

awful, I should have come sooner.” His tone had
turned softer.

This whole conversation had totally blind-sided

her and she instantly felt like crying.

“Kira,” he said urgently. “Are you still there?”
“Yeah.” She wiped beneath her eyes. Dang,

why had she answered?

He was quiet for a minute. “Think about it

because I would like to help you.”

Of course she would never let him, but … he’d

offered? It actually meant a lot to her that he’d
offered because she had been starting to feel like
their whole relationship had been a sham.

“Are you going to sell the ranch?” He asked out

of the blue.

The question gave her whiplash. Wait. What?

“No.” No, it was all Kevin had. It was all she had
left of Nana.

“Okay.” His voice was ticked. “Why in the

world would you even think about keeping it?”

Now she was ticked. “Don’t you dare try to tell

me what to do with Nana’s ranch!”

“Kira, listen—”
She hung up, her hand shaking.
For a beat she sucked in a breath, trying to calm

herself. For a moment she’d thought he did feel bad
he hadn’t been there for her. She’d thought …
maybe he cared.

“That bad, huh?”
Startled, she jumped, her hand going to her

chest. “Oh my gosh.”

Of course, it was him. Mr. Movie star. Which

really wasn’t an appropriate name for him
anymore, because there were plenty of stars here,
but she still called him that.

“Hey,” she said quietly, feeling vulnerable and

unsure of herself. She didn’t like when people knew
things about her, without her wanting them to.
Kevin often teased her about how she liked to keep
things private.

He spread out a blue mat on the ground and

stepped onto it, putting back his arm and stretching
his tricep. The move looked funny since they would
be doing yoga not MMA fighting, but she didn’t
want to say anything.

Gary and the girl, who B.C. called Kardashian

when he wanted to shut her up, walked toward
them down the path.

Ignoring his question, she took herself inside

her brain and went to the front of the grassy area

and eased into Warrior One pose.

A couple of more people trailed in and they all

fell  into  synchronicity,  copying  the  moves  she  did.
This  was  the  part  she  loved  about  yoga  and
meditation. She could just direct them a tiny bit and
take  them  into  the  moves.  They  focused  more  on
breathing then talking. She had to be more in tune.
This morning, they just went through the poses and
she felt herself relax, inch by inch. Except for those
inches  when  she  would  think  about  stupid  Spence
or look at B.C.

It actually wasn’t that relaxing. Dang, the man

was attractive. It was like she could feel his eyes on
her. Could feel the pressure, the zing between them.
If truth be told, it was more then that. It was the
way he seemed to see her, the real her, and still like
her.

Not just the blatant flirting, but the casual way

he asked how the potions were coming along. How
he  encouraged  her.  How  he  kept  offering  to  help
endorse  her  products.  The  truth  was  that  he  was
kind  of  a  cheerleader  for  her.  She  hadn’t  had  a
cheerleader since Nana was gone.

Kevin was such an amazing cousin and friend,

and she’d thought Spence was a good boyfriend.
Up until all the crap hit the fan this summer.

As usual, Gary tried to chat her up after.
B.C. didn’t put up with it today, walking over

and nudging him with his shoulder. “Dude, not

today.”

Gary grimaced and pushed his hand down his

very seventy-ish mustache. “I get it.” He walked
away.

B.C. smirked when they looked at each other

and she hated how, even though she wasn’t trying
to have inside jokes with him, they did.

She smiled.
“Hey,” he said.
"Hey,” she said back.
She didn’t move and neither did he.
He crossed his arms and looked oh so military

movie. Body builder. Pure—sigh, she couldn’t
think about that.

“Are you okay?" he asked.
Not feeling okay, she turned away from him,

feeling nervous. “You’re the one in the drug rehab.
I think I’m okay.” It came out harsher than she’d
meant it.

He laughed. “Ouch. The truth hurts.”
Guilt assaulted her. It wasn’t fair to take out her

angst on him. She turned back. “Sorry, it’s just…”
she wasn’t supposed to feel this way about B.C.

His eyes were serious. “You’re feeling

vulnerable.” He winked at her. “It’s okay, because I
have it on good authority…we all go through it.”

At his slight throwing her words back at her, she

relaxed.

“C’mon, Yoga Master, what’s going on? I’m

bored here. No drugs. No phone. Give me some
drama. I love drama.”

She scoffed. “I’m sure.”
“No social media. C’mon, give me some of you

and your ex-boyfriend’s drama." He cocked an
eyebrow. “He is still the ex, right?”

She couldn’t believe she was talking to him.

That wasn't all true, part of her wanted to talk to
him. “You need my ex-boyfriend drama?"

“I’m asking, aren’t I? Yes, I’m pathetic, don’t

rub it in.” He gave her a pointed look.

She let out a light laugh, thinking of how funny

it was that B.C. Yes, B.C. Knight wanted to hear
about her life drama.

He started walking down the path, waving for

her to come. “Tell me about your conversation with
Spence."

Hesitating briefly, she did follow. “I shouldn’t

be talking to you, I’m going to get fired.”

He hesitated. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about

that tacky little detail for you. Tell Dr. Schneider,
the loophole in your contract is that we were
friends before we came into the facility.”

She laughed. “That’s the loophole.”
He nodded. “Everything’s about the contract,

believe me.”

She sighed, hating that she wanted to talk to

him. “I don’t know if friend would be the right
word.” She thought of that crazy night.

A wicked look flashed into his eyes and he

closed the gap between them. “I’d be open to other
definitions. What would you like to call us then?”

Butterflies exploded into her gut. Dang, all this

chemistry between them. She took a step back.
“Don’t do that.”

He didn’t move. “What?”
She ignored him and re-focused on their

conversation,  opting  for  talking  about  the  ex
instead  of  talking  about  them.  “Spence  has  left  a
million messages and when I answered this morning
to  tell  him  to  quit  calling,  he  offered  to  pay  for
Julliard.”  It  felt  even  more  ridiculous  when  she
actually said it aloud.

B.C. visibly tensed. “Really?”
“I’m not letting him.” She said quickly, thinking

of all the conversations she’d had with B.C. about
paying for things for people.

B.C. narrowed his eyes. “Why would he offer

that?”

Tossing her hands into the air, she shrugged.

“Exactly, he has been such a jerk.” She found
herself rambling. “Like sure he comes from money,
his parents have money, but the last year while I’ve
dated him he’s always been like ‘I wouldn’t want to
make

you

uncomfortable

paying

for

everything.’”

“Making me like him more and more.” B.C.

narrowed his eyes.

“He wouldn’t come to St. George when I really

needed  him  but  now  he’s  offering  to  pay  for
Julliard?”  Truly,  she  was  flabbergasted  by  all  of  it.
She  was  trying  to  sort  it  all  out  in  her  brain  too.
“Then  he  dares  to  even  ask  if  we’re  selling  the
ranch or not?” She was mystified. “Why would he
do that?”

B.C. let out a breath. “Because he still wants

you.”

She knew this, but … she hadn’t thought about

it  so  plainly.  She  scowled.  “He  …  doesn’t  even
understand  me.”  She  protested.  “If  he  thinks  I
would  sell  the  ranch,  he’s  just  …  he’s  never  even
known me.”

B.C. didn’t comment.
Which made her more uncomfortable. “What?”

She demanded.

B.C. shrugged. “Nothing.”
She continued. “Kevin wants to keep the ranch.

He needs it and Nana gave it to both of us so we’re
keeping it.”

B.C. frowned.
“What?” She didn’t like the CIA way he looked

at her, like he could extract government secrets by
only giving her one look.

“What do you want?” B.C. asked it so plainly,

like it was so obvious.

She laughed. “Of course a man would say that

with such straight forward zeal.”

“Well?” he said, waiting. “I’ve been hearing

you say the idiot doesn’t even know you, then you
say Kevin wants the ranch … but what do you
want.”

For a moment she wasn’t sure, then she thought

of  the  old  swing  behind  the  house  and  how  she
loved  to  go  out  there  at  night  and  just  …  feel
peaceful.  It  was  one  of  the  only  places  she’d  ever
felt  so  at  home.  She  blinked.  “I  …  I  want  to  keep
it,”  she  said,  feeling  more  sure  about  it.  “It’s  just,
the numbers aren’t really working out.” She left off
the  whole  could  she  pay  for  Julliard  problem.  “I
don’t know how Nana made it all work.”

He frowned, then lifted his eyebrows. “How

much do you need?”

Annoyed that he would even offer that, she

pushed him in the shoulder. “Seriously? We’re back
to—let me buy you off?”

Rolling his eyes, he pumped his eyebrows. “I

have money, you need money. What’s the big
deal?”

It baffled her that he was so … giving. It wasn’t

just that. It was the fact he almost just assumed she
would  take  it.  She  gave  him  an  incredulous  look.
“You  deserve  more  than  that.  You  don’t  need  to
buy  people  flights  to  Paris.  You  don’t  need  to  pay
for your mother’s house. You don’t need to offer to
help me with my money problems. I was really just
venting to you.”

His features clouded and his lips pinched. “I’m

glad  you  feel  you  can  vent  to  me.”  He  sighed.
“You’re  right,  I  shouldn’t  feel  like  I  have  to  trade
money for people to like me.” He pointed at her. “ I
do  think  it’s  interesting  your  ex  boyfriend  thought
he could buy you off, didn’t he?”

His words hit her like a ton of bricks. “I…” she

faltered. “I don’t know why he would think that?”

For a few moments she and B.C. didn’t say

anything.

All she could do was feel so confused. She

wasn’t that woman, demanding men pay for things.
Wanting a man for that. Yet, B.C. was right. That
was the tactic Spence was using. She put her hand
to her head, feeling a sudden headache. She made a
command decision. “I have to go home.”

DAY

, Kira didn’t know how to act around

B.C. It wasn’t just that he’d drawn her attention to
the fact that her ex boyfriend thought he could buy
her off so easily. It was also the fact she wondered
why  Spence  really  thought  he  could.  In  between
classes,  she  purposefully  went  and  hung  out  with
Clark  at  the  desk,  which  was  painful,  especially
because Tricia was sick.

After the sunset meditation class, B.C. stayed

and even though she tried to say goodnight and
walk away, he had blocked her path. “Talk,
Moonwater, and don’t go hide behind Clark.”

It made her smile that he’d obviously been a bit

annoyed by the fact she’d been hanging out with
Clark. She exhaled and half-way wished she could
hide from this man. Unfortunately, the other half of
her didn’t want to hide from him at all.

“Talk.” He said, his arms still crossed and she

thought of how he did look the military commander
type.

She shook her head. “What?”
“Why did you scamper off yesterday?”
“Scamper?” She rolled her eyes at the word.
He reached out and took her hand. “Kira, what

is going on with you?”

It unsettled her that he could read her so easily.

No words would come.

He pulled back his hand. “I wanted to tell you,

that even though Spence offered to pay for Julliard,
I know that you’re not the kind of girl who would
want that.”

It actually did make her feel better that he

believed this, but it kind of ticked her off he
thought she needed his validation. “I guess I don’t
have to explain anything.” She wanted to leave.
She didn’t know why any of this mattered anyway.

“Kira.” His voice was low. “Why are you

wanting to run from me?”

Bam. Exactly. Why did she? How did he know

that?

The side of his lip turned up. “Moonwater,

don’t you know that I kinda dig you.”

Nerves assaulted her. It amazed her he was

talking so frankly.

“Do you know that I don’t care if you’re not

perfect or your life’s not perfect or the…” he threw
his  hand  into  the  air.  “The  freaking  boyfriend  you
had  was  an  idiot.”  He  let  out  a  derisive  laugh.  “It
might  actually  kinda  make  a  guy  like  me,”  He
pointed  to  himself.  “Who’s  totally  screwed  up,  by
the way, feel better.”

She was confused. “So basically what you’re

saying is my messed up life makes you feel better.”

He nodded, completely owning it. “Pretty

much.” A full smile spread across his face. “What
I’m really saying is, I don’t want to live in a
superficial world anymore.”

“Explain.” She demanded.
He sighed. “I’ve been doing a lot of soul

searching  and  I  think  part  of  the  reason  drugs
became  such  an  easy  thing  for  me  is  because  I
haven’t dealt with my problems; my mom, the pain
I’ve carried around from serving in the military, the
pain  from  losing  my  dad  so  young.  I  just  kept
pushing  forward,  doing  the  next  thing,  the  next
thing. And, especially in my profession, I could just
be a different character. I don’t want that anymore.

I want to be me. I want…you to be you.”

She felt herself relax a bit and she thought

about how cool it was he had realized all of this.
Maybe it did make her feel better to know he didn’t
expect her to be perfect.

He took another step closer to her. “Listen, I’ve

been psychoanalyzed my whole life, I actually am
pretty good at it. I thought a lot about you last night
and I came to a conclusion.”

She frowned. “What, oh therapist, please tell

me.”

He shrugged. “You have mom issues. You said

your mom left, went to Hollywood, and never came
back.”

It took her off guard how he was kind of hitting

on an issue.

“You don’t want people to leave. So you do

things to make them happy, hoping they’ll stay and
the relationship won’t end.”

She didn’t know if what he was saying was true

or  not,  but  …  it  kinda  sounded  true.  She  thought
about  pictures  of  her  mom  at  the  ranch.  When
she’d been young. She thought of the fact it’d hurt
Nana  so  much  that  she  never  heard  from  her  own
daughter. Sudden pain hit the center of her, making
her  almost  feel  like  she  couldn’t  breathe.  She
coughed.

B.C. took her by the shoulders. “Kira?”
She coughed again. “Oh my gosh.” She sucked

in a breath, but felt this immense pressure on her
chest.

“Breathe.” B.C. ordered.
She took in a breath.
He breathed with her in slow, deep breaths.

“It’s okay.” He held her, steadying her. “You’re
okay.”

Immediately, she thought of the fact she

shouldn’t even be with him.

Seeming to read her thoughts, he picked up her

bag and took her hand, pulling her down the
deserted path to the hot spring. “Let’s go
somewhere we can talk.”

They got to the part of the path right before the

cave and he turned to her. “Are you okay?”

She sucked in another breath, starting to feel a

bit better. “Yeah.”

He looked at the entrance. “Do you want to go

in there?”

Oh my, she would be so fired. “Oh no,” she

said, shaking her head back and forth. “Dr.
Schneider would not approve.”

B.C. was too fast, grabbing her hand and pulling

her with him. “Pish posh, we gotta live a little.”

It felt so…exhilarating. It all happened in a

flash and before she knew it they had ducked
through the entrance and B.C. was pulling his shirt
off and kicking off his shoes.

Unable to stop herself, she laughed. It felt so

good to just be here with him. She wore a unitard
and a long shirt over it, which she promptly pulled
off after slipping off her flip flops. He took her
hand and even in the dim light she could tell he was
smiling that movie star smile at her.

“On three.”
She laughed again and couldn’t believe she was

doing this.

“One, two, three!”
Suddenly they were jumping into the darkness,

hot water engulfing them.

She felt his arms pull her up and he was there,

holding her.

She jerked and thrashed and got away,

sputtering. “Oh my gosh.” Coming here with him
was one thing, but cuddling in the pool was
another.

"You’re crazy."
He was laughing and reaching for her hand.

“Come here.”

She allowed him to take her hand, even though

she shouldn’t. Everything felt so … out of control.
He mind was spinning with the realization that B.C.
was right, she was afraid of losing people. She had
held on to Spence for too long without realizing
why.

His eyes grew serious. “I like you, Moonwater.”
She let out a light sigh and really couldn’t figure

out why, but knew she liked being with him, too.

He frowned. "The first night I met you was the

most real night of my life.”

She laughed. “You were drunk and high.”
Shaking his head back and forth, he scrunched

his face up. “Oh, but I was functional.” He sighed.
“That’s  the  sad  part  is  that  the  stuff  I’d  had  that
night  wasn’t  even  bad  compared  to  what  I  could
have  had  and  handled.”  His  face  suddenly  went
sad.

Her heart quickened. “You really weren’t that

bad that night?”

He snorted, then let out a long breath. “Nope.”

He turned and their eyes met and there was this
whole time slowed down kind of thing.

It all felt so complicated between them. “B.C. I

can't. We can't and…”

“Do you still love Spence?” His look was

speculative.

“No. I mean, no…that ship sailed a long time

ago. Even before I knew it. I realized yesterday that
the fact Spence would think he could buy me back
makes it even more obvious that he never really
knew me.”

“True.” B.C. said, squeezing her hand gently.

He clicked his mouth. “You do not like people
offering to buy you stuff.”

Now she did laugh.
The tension from earlier felt like it cleared

between them.

B.C. frowned. “I hope I didn’t hurt you, talking

about the mom thing.”

She swallowed and thought of how it had hurt.

“I’m fine. You’re right.” She let out a breath.

“Hey, I only recognize the garbage because I

have the garbage.” He grinned.

There would be no way not to laugh at that

statement.

“Dark humor.” He offered.
“What?”
“It’s how we dealt with tragedy in the military.”
She understood.
He searched her eyes. “I think I like using it to

deal with parent issues more and more.”

Butterflies were back in her stomach and she

felt this intense attraction to B.C. again. It was even
more then before, now she felt like she was actually
falling for him a little bit. “B.C., I still shouldn’t be
here.”

Gently, he reached up and brushed a hair out of

her face. “You keep saying that, Moonwater, but
you’re still here.” He closed the gap between them
and it was as if his lips were there, just waiting to
be touched.

The breath caught in her chest and she could

hardly think anything besides how she wanted to
kiss him.

He held his ground, not pushing her. “Your call,

Moonwater.” His voice was breathy.

She shivered but she didn’t move. Didn’t pull

away, didn’t lean in. She should pull away.

Lifting his hand, he softly caressed her neck

and lightly trailed it down her arm.

Shivers fell through her. She still didn’t move,

torn and unable to believe she was really staring
into these beautiful blue eyes. The blue eyes she’d
thought had been fake when she’d seen him in
movies. Staring at his beautiful face and feeling all
kinds of things she never thought she’d feel for this
man.

He inhaled deeply. “Man, I don’t know what

potion you have on at the moment, but…you are
irresistible.” He trailed his hand down her shoulder
and arm again. He sniffed her again. “What’s the
name of this one?”

Melting, that’s what she was doing. She closed

her  eyes  for  a  moment,  then  flashed  them  back
open.  She  thought  of  Kevin  and  him  dousing  her
this  morning  at  breakfast.  “I’m  not  telling  you  the
name.”

He laughed, but still didn’t move, only found

her hand and laced his fingers with hers. “How can
I extract this information from you?” He’d taken on
a Russian accent and she thought of the Russian
spy he’d played in one of his first movies.

She smiled reluctantly, not wanting to admit he

was funny.

“Ah, she likes my Russian accent better than

Brooklyn.” He pushed out the last word with that
accent.

She giggled.
His grin widened. “What’s the potion?”
She sighed. “Safe with You.”
He smiled and gently kissed her cheek. “You

are, you know.”

Chills washed through her and she did feel safe

with him. More safe and more on edge then she’d
ever felt with Spence.

Sudden insecurity pulsed through her. “Are you

just doing this…because you’re bored?”

He quit playing with her hand. “What?”
“Because you’re here? At a rehab place? With

no other distractions?” It sounded so lame and
insecure.

Letting out a long breath, he grasped her hand

tighter, then he let it go and stepped back a step.
“No.”

The loss of his closeness was like losing her

breath underwater.

“If you think that, Kira, then, I’ve…” he trailed

and he pushed a hand through his hair. “I’ve totally
messed it up.”

Her heart raced. “I don’t want to be your

replacement for pills and alcohol.”

He choked a little.
“I mean it.” She’d thought about this for the

past couple of days. “I like you, too. And, that

scares the crap out of me.” She hesitated. “More
then anything, it scares me that what’s between us,
might just be a substitute for your addictive
tendencies.”

He blinked. “It’s not.” He said quickly.
“How do you know?” She demanded.
Taking her hand softly, he looked into her eyes.

“I can’t tell you that I’m not still an addict. This, I
can tell you…that I’ve never felt like this for
another woman before.”

Again, her heart sped up a notch.
He frowned. “I’m working on my stuff. I …

have been. Doctor Schneider has pressed me to dig
deep and find the reasons why I want to change.
I’m not gonna lie, it’s been tough. I’ve had to really
look at myself. Before, I knew I didn’t want to and
I knew I hated the fact I was weak. Now, I’m
finding it almost easier to find all the reason I don’t
want to be like I was.”

She was quiet for a minute, then asked. “Why

don’t you?”

“I don’t want to be like my mother,” he said

quietly. “She uses people, me. She isn’t grateful for
anything. She…” he blinked and swallowed.

Kira wanted to reach out to him, to take some

of his pain, but she waited.

“I don’t want to believe that I am not enough

anymore. Just for being me. B.C. Just for being
alive.” He teared up. “I’ve actually been reading

the bible, about the creation of the world.”

This took her by surprise.
He smiled. “And I love how Genesis talks about

the  creation  of  the  world  so  plainly.  After  it  goes
through what was created it says, “And God saw it,
and  it  was  good.”  He  blinked  even  more.  “And  it
just  got  me  wondering  if  God  sees  me.  Just  B.C.
Not the movie star. Not the messed up druggie. Just
the kid that lost his dad and tried hard. Not always
succeeding,  but  tried  to  do  right.  And,  I  just
wonder…if he thinks … if maybe he could think…I
was  good.”  He  broke  off  and  tears  fell  down  his
face.

Taking a tentative step to him, she couldn’t help

but gently press her hand to his face. She’d wanted
to touch his face. “I think He thinks you’re good.”
She said, tears in her own eyes.

B.C. wiped his eyes and let out a light laugh.

“Ya think?”

There was so much vulnerability in his question.
She nodded and it was amazing how much his

quest  to  find  himself  touched  her.  How  much  she
had  kind  of  wondered  the  very  same  thing  he  was
talking  about,  but  had  never  vocalized  like  that
before. She thought about how good this man was.
How good he wanted to be. It touched her.

He took her hand and gently kissed her palm. “I

would be lying if I didn’t say if one of my reasons
to stay drug free was that … I want to have a life

with a good woman, too.” He stared into her eyes.
“But,  I  want  you  to  know  that  you’re  not  a
distraction  or  a  new  drug.  You…are  a  life.  You
symbolize  what  I  hope  to  have  one  day.  And  I’m
sorry  if  that  scares  you  and  I  don’t  know  if  that’s
right or not, but—”

All these feelings were about to burst inside of

her. “Are we going to kiss or not, Movie Star?”

He broke off into a laugh. “It’s your call,

Moonwater.”

It felt like she could barely breathe, she leaned

in.

He stopped her.
“Wait.” He laughed.
She scowled, feeling teased.
He laughed harder and took both of her hands

into his. “I just, first, before we kiss I wanted to ask
you something.”

Her heart raced. “Okay,” she said uncertainly.
“I get out next Friday. I have a premiere the

next day, Saturday. Will you come to one of my
horrible Raced and Wrecked movie premieres? It’s
number nine, but I’m sure you’ve been keeping
count.”

She grinned. “I don’t know.”
She wanted to. It was crazy that she was

actually thinking about it. Then she got muddled. “I
don’t even have anything to wear.” Funny, this
would be on her mind.

He flashed a smile.
“And don’t say you’ll buy me a dress.” She

pushed him.

He took her hands back into his. “Hey, it’s not

really buying you off when it’s advantageous to me,
is it?” He stuck his lower lip out. “You’re getting
under my skin, Moonwater.” His voice was husky.

“You need Oregano.”
“Why?”
“Because you need to get over thinking you

have to buy me things. And Oregano would help.”
She found herself falling into him.

He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled

her  flush  against  him.  He  let  out  a  breath.  “You
won’t  let  me  do  that.  It’s  because  when  I’m  with
you,  even  just  near  you…I  feel  this  goodness  in
you.”  He  let  out  a  slight  laugh  and  then  his  eyes
misted. “Dang it woman, if I haven’t wanted to feel
this way my whole life.”

Whatever acting job he was doing at the

moment was hitting her—straight in the heart.

“I’ve watched you the past couple of weeks

and wondered how some asinine jerk in Africa got
you.”

His words were plain, barbaric, possessive and

caveman-ish, but she knew they were sincere.

“I wonder about all the things you’re telling me.

That I shouldn’t want people to want me just
because I can buy them things, about how I can and

should reach to…God.” He broke off and shook his
head as he smiled. “Who tells that to people
anymore?”

She let out a soft laugh.
He blinked. “The truth is that I won’t kiss you if

you don’t want to because of this job.” He
shrugged. “I can wait.”

She laughed and felt tears bubbling up, humbled

by how much B.C. had thought all of this out.

Taking the plunge, she pushed her lips to his.
It was gentle and sweet as he switched back

and forth from trailing kisses on her jaw then back
to her lips. He tasted like mint mouthwash and the
salt on her skin.

All the attraction she had felt every time she’d

seen  him  reacted  and  she  put  her  arms  around  his
neck,  pulling  him  closer,  soaring  higher  than  she
had  ever  been.  She’d  watched  the  first  one  of  his
super hero movies the other night and she’d found
herself practically drooling over him. Now  here  he
was.

He pulled back and kept her close, searching

her eyes.

She felt like her heart would burst at the way he

looked at her.

“What are you thinking?" he whispered.
This took her by surprise. "What?”
He pushed her away a little more. “I have to

know, what were you thinking just now?”

She pulled her arms back so she wasn’t

touching him. “So many things. I’m not this girl.”

“What?” Now he was confused.
“The girl who breaks up with her boyfriend and

then finds herself kissing a guy…she shouldn’t be
kissing.”

“Oh,” he said, blowing it off. “I know you’re

not.”

She had to tell him. “No, like…I don’t take

intimacy  lightly.  I…I’ve  been  waiting  until
marriage.”  It  was  stupid  to  tell  him  this,  but  he
needed  to  know  she  wasn’t  a  Hollywood  hussy.
Had she just thought hussy?

“I know,” he said quickly.
She could see him thinking about this.
“So I haven’t slept around.” She let out a

breath. “Not even with Spence.” She nodded. “I
told him right off I was waiting until marriage.”

He looked doubtful. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying

to process this.”

She felt exposed. She tried to push past him.

“Never mind.”

Taking her hand, he stopped her. “Wait. Wait a

sec. I think it’s cool.” He shrugged. “I have been
reading the Bible.”

She met his eyes and saw…truth.
“Whatever.” How would someone like him

even understand? “Do you really think it’s cool?”

“I do.” He cracked a grin. “Was Nana Amish

too? Did you leave that out?”

She laughed but shook her head. “Stop.”
He laughed harder. “Kidding. Sheesh.” He

squeezed her hand. “I really respect you. And I will
respect what you value.”

The fierce way he said it, made her nervous.

“And …”

“You could get fired.” He filled in for her.
“Yes.” She nodded and smiled. “So, tomorrow

I’m going to tell Doctor Schneider after the
morning yoga meditation class that he needs to find
someone else to teach here.”

B.C. jolted back. “What?”
She smiled. “Because I kinda want to kiss you

again and I can’t live with myself if I think I’ll have
to break Doctor Schneider’s trust all the time.”

B.C. exhaled. “So we’re telling him.”
She was surprised by this. “I’ll tell him.”
He pulled her back in and kissed her again,

going slower this time, making it last this time.
When he pulled back his eyes were targeted in on
hers. “We’re in this together, Moonwater.”

This made her smile and melt and…again feel

horrible. “Will you get in trouble?” She hadn’t
thought about that before.

B.C. shrugged. “Doc didn’t seem too upset

when I told him I kissed you.”

“What?” She pulled back. “You told him?”
A Cheshire cat look filled his face. “Sorry.”

Her mind raced and she couldn’t believe it. Dr.

Schneider already knew that they’d kissed? Taking
a chance, she pulled him back to her lips.

Fireworks exploded and she held on, taking the

plunge and not caring about the consequences. She
grabbed him tighter, pulling him closer, loving the
need she felt inside of him that matched her own.

He deepened the kiss and she was lost.

Completely lost.

It’d never been this way with Spence. It had

been good, but she never believed this kind of
passion existed.

Of course Nana and Papa had been together

forever. Very happy before he passed a few years
ago. Had they had this?

She couldn’t believe she was thinking these

things.

She pulled back abruptly.
He kept her close, laughing. “No,” he

whimpered.

She pushed back farther. “I can’t. I have to get

home and work on potions. For real.” She went to
the edge and pulled herself out of the hot spring,
shivering immediately.

He was there, getting out, dripping. “You can’t

leave like that.” Lamely, he held his shirt out for
her. “They’re having that stupid Three’s Company
marathon in the lobby. Tina, Gary, Zoe—they’re all
there. Probably the staff, too.” He wagged a finger

at her. “And can I just say the way Clark looks at
you freaks me out a bit. Like a serial killer type.”

She let out a sigh, agreeing. “Yeah, he’s a bit

different.”

He grunted as she started back to the exit.
Dang, she had to go through the front door of

the clinic before she left. It was the rules. She took
his shirt, using it to dry off, thinking about the bag
she had in her car with another unitard. She thought
fast. "Do you think you could go get the unitard out
of my Bug and bring it back here? The car’s
unlocked.”

It would be much less obvious for him to

change into different shorts in his room real quick
then get it. No one would think about what he was
doing. He was a rogue anyway.

“On it.” He took off, and she watched him

zoom away.

She held his shirt to her and felt like a complete

idiot. What was she doing? Then she touched her
lips, where his had been.

That had been the most wonderful make-out

session of her life.

C H A P T E R 9

tealthily,  B.C.  opened  her  car  and
extracted  the  black  bag  she  was  talking
about,  then  shut  it  and  ran  quickly  back

to  where  she  was  waiting.  He’d  been  fast,  going
into  the  facility,  changing,  and  then  going  to  the
front  desk  and  telling  Clark  he  wanted  to  go  for  a
run.  They’d  gotten  used  to  all  his  runs,  so  he’d
check him out quickly. Easy, peasy, lemon squeasy.

Had he really just thought that? He smiled at

himself, feeling better, lighter than he’d felt in
years.

He thought of getting to know Yoga Master

Moonwater and couldn’t stop the grin.

Darn, he’d waited to kiss her for a long time.

Well,  kiss  her  again.  That  was…ahhh…not  like
anything  he’d  ever  experienced.  The  trueness,  the
passion,  it  was  everything  he’d  pretended  in

movies, but not really felt.

Drug free, he thought.
He didn’t like to think of her getting fired or of

Dr. Schneider being upset. Dang it.

He ran back to where he hoped she would be,

feeling like he’d just done a very important military
op.

"Thanks.” Gratefully, she took the bag and

plunked it on the ground, then unzipped it and
pulled out another unitard.

What could he say? He didn’t mind that she

wore  these  all  the  time  for  her  job.  Then  he  felt  a
bit  guilty.  She  wasn’t  an  object.  Man,  he  felt  so
different  about  this  woman  than  he  had  in  a  long,
long time. Ever. About any other woman.

She stood and then hesitated, giving him a little

wave. “Uh, I have to change.”

Jolted, he turned and walked up the path.

“Right." Right? Was he an idiot? She’d made it
clear she hadn’t ever slept with a guy.

It amused him, while he waited, to think about

her, her goodness, innocence. It was crazy that he
found that so attractive about her.

He unexpectedly had all these ideas of what he

wanted to do with her when he got out of here. He
could take her to Paris. Exactly where she said she
wanted to go. Yes, he'd shot one of his CIA movies
there, but hadn’t really done any sightseeing. Just
ran around the whole town like a crazy man.

Visions of them walking leisurely around the
Louvre, looking at expensive art, filled his mind.
Would she want to look at expensive art?

“Hey.”
He jumped. Man, he was jumpy around this

woman. This was crazy.

She let out a soft, giggle and he liked it.

“Sorry.”

He found himself smiling and reaching for her

hand, tugging her in, kissing her.

She pulled back, after a few seconds he noted

with delight. “We shouldn’t…”

“We’re passed this.” He didn’t want to hear a

boring lecture, so he reached for lips again.

“Only if you tell me what you were thinking

that made you jump just now.”

“What?” His heart stopped. Could he tell her

that?

“I mean it.” She crossed her arms. "Tell me the

truth, what were you thinking?”

He sighed, thinking his old self, the one before

meeting her or coming here would never tell the
truth because that felt so vulnerable. He wanted to
be vulnerable, he decided. “That I can’t wait to
take you to Paris and go to the Louvre with you to
look at all the boring art. If you like art. Do you like
art?”

He saw her bite her lip, and her eyes misted and

he was encouraged.

Now he add libbed because he wanted to make

her  smile,  “And  then  I  was  just  thinking  how  it
would be kinda fun to see if we could get someone
to  rob  us  in  Paris  because  everyone  has  a  story
about getting robbed in Paris and we could look all
fancy  and  they  could  think  they  would  get  away
with  it  and  then  I  would  hunt  them  down  and  you
would think I’m a hero.”

She let out a laugh. “Yes, the typecast thing.”
He grinned. “Nah, I just think I might like being

your hero.”

The moment got intense and she stared at him

with those gorgeous, green eyes. She sputtered out
a laugh. “You want to be my hero?”

He shrugged and then let out a sigh. “I think

maybe for the rest of my life.”

He didn’t know if she was as surprised as he

was when she closed the gap between them, leaned
in and kissed him.

FTER

THEY

’

P RETTY

MUCH

MADE

out for another

half  hour,  she  finally  told  him  she  had  to  go.  He
reluctantly  agreed.  He  carried  her  bag  through  the
facility  for  her.  Good  thing  St.  George  was  so  dry
and  she’d  dried  off.  Her  hair  was  dry  and  back  in
that  bun  and  no  one  even  suspected  anything,

except the normal of what they always suspected…
he had a crush on her. He did, so there.

The odd thing was, when he’d handed over the

bag and took off down the hall, he didn’t feel
victorious in a way that was hahaha, I got the girl.
He just felt happy. Happier than he’d felt in a long,
long time.

He went back to his room and did some

pushups,  because  that’s  what  he  did.  He  also  sat
down to write some of his feelings in a journal Dr.
Schneider had given to him that he’d never used. It
evolved  to  him  scribbling  doodles,  something  he
hadn’t done forever. He  found  himself  working  on
a  beautiful,  lithe,  yoga  master  pixie  blonde  with
great  eyebrows  and  natural  eyelashes,  which  was
stupid  and  obvious  if  he  thought  about.  Then  he
evolved to a lizard man, who looked a lot like him.
The things to do in rehab.

After getting ready for bed he stared out at the

moonlit desert and thought about her. The feel of
her. The smell of her. Everything about her felt…so
perfect.

Three weeks into rehab and the only thing that

made him want to be better was her.

Not just because he was in rehab and needed to

get a handle on his life, but for the first time ever he
thought about having a life with someone. Not a
Hollywood life. Definitely not his mother’s life.

A life with her. On the ranch. He thought of

what it would be like to hang out with Kevin and
figure out ranch stuff.

What would it be like to smell her potions? To

watch  her  work.  He  could  imagine  the  look  she
would  get  when  she  was  concentrating.  She  had
that  look  during  all  the  classes  when  she  was
focused.

He couldn’t get the image of being with her on

the  ranch  out  of  his  mind.  She  could  be  making
concoctions  and  he  could  be  drawing  or  whatever
else  he  might  be  doing.  He  didn’t  know,  but
something.  Kevin  could  be  coming  in  with  the
ranch guys and talking about the price of…what he
did not know.

Despite all the gaps in his fantasy, it sounded

like the best thing he could possibly imagine.

C H A P T E R 1 0

very part of Kira was pretty sure she was
going to get fired.

When she finished the morning

yoga/meditation class, she braced herself to tell Dr.
Schneider. The funny thing was that B.C. waited
after class and walked her down and then insisted
he was doing it with her.

She felt like a teenager going in to confess

something awful to her parents.

Dr. Schneider watched both of them sit on the

couch in front of his desk and he leaned back, his
arms over his chest, waiting.

She started. “I’m sorry, Dr. Schneider, but I

have to put in my resignation.”

B.C.’s hand was instantly over hers and he

shook his head at her, turning to the doctor. “What
she meant to say was we have to tell that the lines

have blurred between patient and instructor and she
would still like to keep her job here.” B.C. flashed a
humble smile. “It’s really my fault, punish me.”

It hit the center of her chest, B.C. really meant

it.  Maybe  it  was  silly  that  this  was  just…this  job.
B.C.  was  willing  to  face  whatever  consequences
with her. She blinked, feeling all emotional. Which
was absurd cause it was just this silly job, that she
actually  really  liked  and  didn’t  feel  silly  to  her.  In
the  perspective  of  how  much  B.C.  made  or  had  to
lose, what if they wanted him to start over or what
if he had to go to real jail.

Ack! She hadn’t even thought of that until just

now.

Doctor Schneider looked at both of them for a

minute and Kira thought it would be the worst thing
ever.

Then he stood and walked over to the window,

staring out. “B.C. did you notice you haven’t used
that bag in a while.”

This had not been what Kira expected.
B.C. followed the doctor’s gaze to the punching

bag. “Guess I haven’t.”

Doctor Schneider turned back to them. “I don’t

like that you two are seeing each other. But, I
would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you I didn’t
suspect it.” He sighed.

Kira was nervous.
B.C. held her hand tighter. “I like her, doc, I’m

not gonna lie. I’m making plans to see her after.”

The doctor nodded and turned to Kira. “Do you

want to quit?”

She hadn’t anticipated this outcome. “No.”
The doctor nodded. “First, B.C. you have to

know that when I have patients come here, my plan
for them is that I don’t want to see them again.”

B.C. nodded. “Uh, I don’t really want to come

back, either.”

The doctor sighed. “You know sobriety doesn’t

come from focusing on someone else. Sobriety
comes from deciding you want to be sober yourself
first.”

“I do.” B.C. nodded.
The doctor scowled. “I don’t like this.” He

looked  between  them.  “I  understand  that  I  can’t
stop this, obviously.” He shook his head and looked
like  the  weight  of  the  world  was  on  his  shoulders.
Kira  imagined  it  felt  that  way.  “It’s  not  smart  to
start  a  relationship  while  you’re  getting  clean.  It’s
not smart to change for anybody else.”

B.C. let go of her hand and stood. “I want to be

clean for me. I want that. But, I’m not gonna lie,
doc, I’ve fallen pretty hard for her.”

The doctor stood and scowled at them both.

“Things like this never work.”

All of them were quiet for a few moments.
The doctor turned to face the window, then

turned back. “I wish you wouldn’t have a

relationship.  But  I  know  that  you  already  do.”  He
sighed  and  mumbled  to  himself  something  about
stopping this when he heard about the kiss. He took
off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I
guess all I can ask is please. Have some discretion.”
He  turned  away  from  them  and  went  back  to  his
desk. “Please go, I have an appointment.”

Kira couldn’t believe it. She got up and felt

wooden, stiff. Didn’t know what to do.

B.C. moved in step with her to the door.

“Thanks doc.” He said as they walked out.

THE

WEEK

, she worked at the facility and

saw him in every yoga, Pilates, meditation, and art
class.  After  the  late  class,  it  was  a  new  routine.
They waited for everyone to leave and talked for a
bit,  and  he  pretended  to  ask  all  these  questions  on
relaxation  and  she  would  find  herself,  down  the
path, going with him in the little cave that led to the
hot spring and water fall.

They would talk and talk and talk.
It surprised her because he would ask all these

questions about Nana and the ranch and God. What
she knew, what she believed. Of course they would
kiss. Every day she couldn’t believe she was falling
more and more in love…with a movie star.

ONDAY

B.C.’

last week, she thought

about what she would do when the week was over.
How different it would be.

Dr. Schneider was already talking about how a

new crop would be coming in at the beginning of
next week and how it would change the dynamics
of her classes.

Sadness washed over her. He would be gone.

He would be going back. He would get that huge
role in the next blockbuster.

She would be here.
B.C. didn’t really talk about them being apart.

It was like it made him sad when she did, so she
didn’t. They were revolving in this little world of
joy.

Truly, that’s what it felt like. Just beauty and

relaxation.

He’d said a few things, like wanting to see the

ranch, but she didn’t know what would happen.

Heck, she didn’t even know if she was going

back to Julliard yet. Her counselor had been trying
to  call  her  since  yesterday  and  she’d  ignored  the
calls.  Dr.  Schneider  had  told  a  couple  of  other
facilities  about  the  oils  and  more  orders  were
coming in for her to fill. Kevin had told her to just
say yes to Julliard and they would work it out.

B.C. didn’t show up for the morning class,

which was odd. It wasn’t a big deal, the rest of the
group  was  there  and  it  was  a  very  productive
session,  but  she  had  a  couple  of  hours  before  her
next  art  class  and  she  found  herself  wandering  the
halls looking for him.

Then she went to the grounds and began taking

all the paths, she even went to the hot springs
waterfall but couldn’t find him.

She was actually getting worried. She went

back to the facility, back up the hallways and there
he was. Standing right outside his room. Leaning
against the door, holding a long box, like he’d been
waiting for her the whole time.

Her heart lightened. “Hey.” She said all

breathily.

“Hey.” He straightened. “I’ve been looking for

you.”

She smiled. “I’ve been looking for you.” Was it

so weird she was looking for a patient at this place?

He nodded. “I had a really great session with

Dr. Schneider today that ran long and I think you’ll
be interested that I’ve decided something.”

“What?”
“Well…I actually told Dr. Schneider about your

Nana and the walk with God thing.”

She felt nervous. “Okay.”
He grinned. “When I get back to L.A. I’m going

to see a private therapist Dr. Schneider
recommended.”

Her heart raced.
“And the therapist is also a pastor. I…want to

know God again. I want to have something more
than willpower. No, I need something stronger than
my willpower. My own willpower has failed me too
many times.” After a moment of solemnity, he
flashed her a smile. “And I wanted to thank you for
helping me realize that.”

She smiled.
He pushed the package forward. “I hope it’s

okay. I got this for you.”

Kira was hesitant. He knew she didn’t like to

receive gifts.

He sensed her nervousness. “What you’ve done

for me is a big deal, Moonwater, so swallow your
pride and prepare yourself to receive it.”

She smiled at him, hating he could do this to

her.

As she opened the box, there was white tissue

paper concealing the gift.

She had to put it on the floor, but as she bent

over, he swooped it away and moved inside his
room. “You’re not putting this on the ground.”

Tentatively, she followed him, nervous about

going into his room.

He put the box on the bed and waited.
As she approached him, she couldn’t help but

smell him. Mint mouthwash, then some expensive
cologne. Not a love potion of hers, but a different

one of his own kind she thought.

His model hair was still long on top and had

gotten longer. The sides were shaved and the top
hung sexily into his eyes.

Erupting into the bottom of her stomach were

butterflies. Dang, the man was gorgeous and good.
Better then she could have imagined. All she
wanted to do was kiss him.

Dang it. She wanted so much with him.
His eyes were happy. He pointed to the bed.

“Finish opening it.”

She giggled, loving the way he demanded

simple things like this as if he was telling her to pick
up a gun and target enemy forces.

His mouth twisted into a smile, in reaction to

her giggle. “What?”

“Nothing.” She gently tore the tissue paper and

she could sense he wanted to just rip it off.

Then…there it was.
Her breath caught.
Pink lace over white silk taffeta, in waves with

tiny little butterflies hand embroidered.

Nana’s prom dress.
Gently, she put her hand on it, feeling like she

might break it, like it would crumble to pieces at
her touch.

Gingerly, he picked it up and held it up to her.

“I had a designer in L.A. make it.”

“But…how?”

He whipped out his phone. “Got my phone

back last week and I already had Kevin’s number,
so I asked him to text me the pic. I wanted it to be a
surprise.”

Instantly, she felt the tears misting in her eyes.

“It’s  so  beautiful.”  She  gently  took  it  out  of  his
hands and pulled it to her. “I actually have the old
dress  in  a  trunk  and  it’s  yellow  and  tattered.”  She
held  it  and  closed  her  eyes  as  a  tear  escaped.
Opening her eyes, she looked at him and she knew.

She loved him. “You did this. For me.” It was

the closest she’d felt to Nana in…so long. It meant
everything to her.

He carefully took the dress out of her hands,

put it on the bed and then pulled her into his arms.

She held to him, loving that he did this for her.

He was so thoughtful.

“What are you thinking, Moonwater?”
She sniffed, not realizing until this moment that

tears were in her eyes. “I…” She pulled back and
stared into his eyes. Gently, she put her hand on his
face. “You…don’t like buying people off, you…
like to take care of people.”

He went completely still.
She smiled at him, falling even more in love

with him as she realized this. “Nana always took
care of me. I think that’s part of the reason I could
have a crappy boyfriend.”

He blinked.

“But…you remind me of her.” She smiled. “I

didn’t even know how much I needed taking care
of until right this minute.”

Another round of tears tumbled down her

cheeks. “I’m kinda falling pretty hard for you,
Movie Star.”

He smiled and took her hand. “I like the sound

of that.” He winked at her. “Cause I’m kinda falling
kind of hard for you too.” He leaned forward and
like the wings of the butterfly kissed her.

Frozen. That’s how it felt at this moment. Like

Kira could be happy never leaving this space and
time with this man.

They stood there holding each other, everything

feeling  like  it  was  more  than  just  a  chance
encounter  with  a  movie  star.  More  than  a  love
potion,  more  than  she  had  ever  dreamed  a
relationship could be.

C H A P T E R 1 1

ater that night, when B.C. was staring out
at the moonlit sky, he thought about Kira.

Of course, he wasn’t stupid when it

came to the fact he was falling in love with her. He
knew  that  they  were  in  this  amazing  bubble.  It
worried  him  a  bit  that  things  might  not  be  exactly
the  same  after.  Not  on  his  part,  but  when  they  got
back  to  reality.  His  reality.  Of  Hollywood.  Movie
sets. It was a different life than Kira knew or even
could know.

It had actually been a good thing to tell Dr.

Schneider about Kira and him because the doctor
had really pushed him in therapy about the fact that
his sobriety had to be all his own.

Over and over, the doctor hit this hard and

discouraged his relationship with Kira.

B.C. knew the doctor just worried about him.

He got that. The thing was, even though B.C. tried,
he couldn’t describe to the doctor the changes that
were taking place inside of him. Sure, he was falling
for Kira. That was a plain as day. He was changing.
He could feel it. He was reading the Bible, he’d
even started praying, which was strange for him.

When he’d wanted to pray he’d asked the

doctor how and the doctor had just said, ‘Some
people pray on their knees, some people pray all
day in their minds, there’s no right way to do it.’

This mystified B.C. and he kind of avoided

doing it for a few days. When he told Kira about it
she said, ‘Why don’t you try it when you’re
running. That way you don’t have to think about it
so much.’

So he had. It felt weird at first, talking to God in

his  mind.  As  he  kept  trying  every  day,  he  found
himself telling God everything. About his dad dying
and  how  he’d  been  so  angry  for  a  long  time  he
didn’t  have  him.  About  his  mother  and  his  recent
realization that she only used him. About his buddy
Troy and how unfair it’d been that he’d been taken
so  young.  About  all  the  bad  stuff  he’d  done.  He
actually  found  himself  apologizing  to  God  for
hurting  the  thing  he’d  created….his  body.  Which
had  been  an  awesome  realization.  His  body  was
God’s creation.

When he’d told Dr. Schneider all the things he

was realizing, for the first time, Dr. Schneider had

smiled  and  told  him,  maybe  he  wouldn’t  have  to
see him at Red Rock Acres again after all. He took
out  the  little  bottle  of  oil  Dr.  Schneider  had  given
him and told him to diffuse in his room. He looked
at the label ‘white fir.’ He put a couple of drops in
and  started  it,  taking  in  a  long  breath.  It  was
supposed  to  help  him  break  bad  family  patterns  of
addiction. He needed any help he could get.

He smiled, thinking that he actually felt good.

Really good. Hopeful. Happy. Better then he’d
been in a long, long time.

He did want sobriety for more than Kira. He

wanted it … because he kinda thought God wanted
it for him too. This knowledge actually brought him
to the realization, that God might help him, too.

That reality had been amazing. He could rely on

God’s strength. Every day he felt more and more
optimistic and he wanted to do more and more for
others. He wanted to give more.

Smiling, he pulled out his phone and pressed her

number. He’d gotten that earlier in the week from
Kevin, too. He’d wanted to have the dress be such
a big surprise.

It was weird to make a phone call after so long.
“Hello,” she said sleepily.
He felt bad, but he knew this had been a

possibility. “Are you asleep?”

He could hear her shifting around. “What if I

said yes?”

He felt a tiny bit bad but it was only ten-thirty.

“I’m sorry.”

“Naw, I was actually just messing with the

potions book. I’m re-doing Nana’s recipes. Making
some potions that I think people might like.” She
cleared her throat. “Actually, Dr. Schneider said he
would help me sell them. Or market the potions,
whatever I want.”

B.C. had to ask. “Will you let me help you?”

With his connection among the ultra-rich, he could
make her like…millions of dollars.

She hesitated. “I don’t know.”
“Hey, I’m the one the potions were used on,

remember.”

She giggled and he loved the sound of it.
“I could just do one commercial. I have a team

that could help me.”

“Of course you do.”
“I could star in it.” He sat up in bed.
“Who else?” she offered.
Loving this idea more and more for her he

grinned. “We could star in it.”

“What? No,” she said quickly.
His mind was already going a million miles an

hour. “Moonwater, listen to me, this will get you
back to Julliard with no problems, are you hearing
me?”

She chuckled and then said, “Noooo.”
“Why?” he demanded, feeling happy and

slightly  giddy  that  he  could  help  her  with  Nana’s
recipes  and  with  Julliard  at  the  same  time.  He  got
out  of  bed  and  ran  a  hand  through  his  hair.  “I’m
serious.  You  won’t  let  me  buy  you  off,  but  you
never said I couldn’t help you.”

She sighed. “Isn’t it the same because you’re a

movie star?”

“No, because my help isn’t automatic for

people. I would be doing it because I wanted to do
something for my girlfriend.”

There was quiet for a moment.
Was this really the ninth grade and he was

begging a girl to go out with him?

“I like the sound of that.” She said quietly.
His heart skipped a beat. “You do?”
He could hear bottles clinking in the

background.

“But you still can’t help me.”
He sat in the chair that overlooked the grounds,

his mind still buzzing about how he could just send
out  a  couple  of  texts  and  a  couple  of  tweets  and
everything  would  be  lined  up  for  her.  He  thought
about how different she was from any woman he’d
dated.  From  any  woman  he’d  been  around.
“Please.”

She let out a small whine. “No.”
He stood, sensing he was breaking her down.

“Just think about it.” He went into his car salesman
mode, then his Brooklyn accent. “Think about it,

sweetheart, and I think you’ll think about the idea
and it’ll grow on you and you’ll love it.”

She laughed and he felt like he’d won.
An epiphany smacked him in the face. He really

did like helping people. She was right and he loved
that she was right … he liked helping people, not
just buying them.

“Yoo hoo?” she said sing song-ish into the

phone.

“Hey.” He went back to his bed.
“You got radio silent for a sec.”
Liking what he’d been thinking about, he

shared it with her.

“Ah,” she said after he’d explained it.

“Actually, I think that makes sense.”

“You do?”
She giggled. “I think you should go help build

catfish ponds in Africa because you like to help
people so much.”

Bam, dead energy.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
He let out a breath and lay in bed, commanding

himself to relax. He heard noise on her end in the
background. “What are you doing right now?”

“Oh, I’m going room to room, shutting the

blinds. I’m locking the doors. Kevin is already
asleep and I’m shutting off lights.”

He could hear it all and he imagined himself

there.

“Tell me more about it.”
She laughed. “You want to hear about the

ranch.

“Every detail.”
She hesitated.
“Moonwater, phone manners.”
She laughed.
“Okay, when you drive here from the highway

there’s a long, dirt road that winds down a lane with
trees. In the spring and summer the trees are shady
and wonderful. When you get to the house, there’s
a giant flagpole. When we were kids, we would
have to get up with Nana and pray and recite the
pledge of allegiance as she put it up.”

For some reason, this made B.C. a bit

emotional.  Thinking  of  how  much  he  loved  his
country.  How  much  he  loved  to  hear  about
Americans  who  valued  their  country.  “Teaching
kids patriotism, I like Nana more and more.”

“Then there’s a white house with black

shutters. There are two columns that make it look
stately. And a black door that Nana always had a
huge wreath on according to the season.”

He was already in love with it.
“Continue.” He wanted the rest of the story.
“I was actually thinking…why don’t you just

come out on Friday?”

He did suddenly sat up in bed. Of course he’d

though about it. He didn’t know how to invite

himself.

“You can have a tour and…I’ll have dinner

ready.”

The center of his chest squeezed. An American

girl  with  home  cooking?  It  all  felt  so  perfect  and
so…not  his  life.  He  wanted  this  life.  He  wanted  it
so  badly  right  now  he  could  taste  it.  Wanted  it  so
much he would give up anything for it.

“Okay.”
For a second she didn’t even say anything.

“Okay.” Then she giggled.

“What?”
“Nothing. I just feel silly.”
He liked her good nature and her naivety and

all things about her. “Why?”

She scoffed. “Because you’re…B.C. Knight!”

She said it so understated, it made him laugh.

“Wow, the way you say it does make me sound

pretty incredible.”

She laughed. “How am I supposed to say it?”
He was instantly embarrassed.
“Tell me. How do you like your name said.”
He grinned. Yes, he would tell her. “When I

was  in  high  school  I  played  football  and  I  always
think  of  the  way  the  announcer  said  my  name.
“Ladies  and  Gentleman,  number  eleven,  the
halfback  leading  the  team  in  touchdowns,”  he
cupped  his  hands  and  said  it  in  the  announcer’s
voice,  “B.C.  Knight.”  He  made  an  audience

clapping sound.

She laughed.
He laughed, too knowing he was silly, loving he

could be silly with her.

She giggled more. “I like it.”
He lay back down, liking this conversation so

much. “I like you, Moonwater,” he said softly.

She was quiet for a minute longer. “So Friday

you’ll come to tour the ranch and have dinner?”

Was this the end of the conversation? He didn’t

want it to end. “Hey, no let’s keep talking.”

She laughed that singsong laugh he was getting

used to. He wished he was with her. That she was
in his arms and he was holding her, touching her
hair, playing with her hand, kissing her.

“What do we have to talk about?” she asked

lightly.

“Are you coming to the premiere with me or

not?”

“Oh.” She sounded like she’d forgotten.
Which didn’t surprise him. How many women

would want to go with him, jump at the chance?
But Kira had forgotten. “I bought you the dress…”

She sighed. “I don’t know if I can get away.

There’s so much.”

He wouldn’t hear that. “I already cleared it

with Kevin.” B.C. was taking no chances.

She laughed. “Oh, perfect, you’ve gotten

permission from the grand duke, is it?”

He smiled. “Yes, lovely maiden, will you please

accompany me to the ball?”

She let out another breath. “I’ll give you a

definite maybe.”

“No,” he laughed. “I’ll get Kevin to give me

one of those potions that would work on you.”

Now she did laugh. “You think it would work

on me?”

“I’m willing to try.”
“Good night, Movie Star.”

C H A P T E R 1 2

hen Kira pulled up to the facility
Thursday morning, she wasn’t

prepared for the scene in front of her.

A whole slew of cars and vans were outside of

the facility. Crowds of dozens of people milled
around, holding cameras.

She was assaulted when her car came into the

parking lot.

What the heck?
She got out and a reporter stepped into her

personal  space.  “We  are  here,  outside  Red  Rock
Drug  Rehab,  where  it  has  been  reported  that  B.C.
Knight has had an illicit affair with a woman by the
name  of  Kira  Moonwater.”  The  reporter  stuck  the
microphone  in  her  face.  “Ms.  Moonwater,  do  you
have a comment?”

Kira rushed toward the facility, shaking her

head, feeling her heart rate kick up. What the heck?

The reporter still tried to shove the microphone

into her face. “Kira Moonwater, do you want to tell
your side of the story?”

A bunch of security guys wearing black SWAT-

type outfits formed a barrier in front of the door.
Dr. Schneider was there, yelling out to them, “Let
her through!”

The security parted and she heard snaps of

cameras and felt the flashes on her skin. She
thought she might have a heart attack.

When she got to the lobby it was a mixed

scene. Clark and Tricia, both staring at her with
accusing looks. Gary and Tina and Zoe, giving her
expectant looks.

Gary frowned at her. “Why did you sell him

out, Kira?”

She was stunned. “What?”
B.C. was instantly at her side, taking her hand.

“I spoke to Dr. Schneider. Would you mind if we
went to his office?”

Nervous would be the lame version to describe

how she was feeling. More like…horrifically
horrified. “They said we had an illicit affair?”

B.C. patted her hand. “They lie, just ignore it.”
The very center of her chest was trembling.

Ignore  it?  Ignore  all  those  people  shoving
microphones  in  her  face.  Precipitously  she
realized…this  was  B.C.’s  life.  What  the  heck  had

she done by getting involved with B.C.? Could she
handle this?

They got to Dr. Schneider’s office and B.C.

waited for the doctor as he closed the door behind
him.

Dr. Schneider scowled and pointed to B.C. “I

didn’t want this to happen.” He rubbed his balding
head nervously.

B.C. put his hands up. “I know. I’m so so sorry.

I take full accountability.”

The doctor looked stunned.
“How can I make this right?” continued B.C.
Kira’s mind was whirling with craziness. “It’s

my fault too,” she said robotically. “I shouldn’t
have let myself get close to a patient. I shouldn’t
have—”

B.C. scowled and shook his head. “I am not

your patient.” He pointed at Dr. Schneider. “I might
be his patient, but not yours. Plus, this is not your
fault.”

Although she appreciated his heroics, she found

herself shaking her head and apologizing again to
Dr. Schneider, but B.C. kept interrupting.

Finally, she threw her hands up. “I need to

leave.”

“What?” both men said at the same time.
She walked toward the door. “I’m sorry, I…

Nana would be so ashamed I did this to you, Dr.
Schneider. You gave me a job, you’ve helped me

try to figure out how I can sell my remedies. I never
should have put you in this position and now all this
crazy is upon you.” She turned to B.C. who had
that grim, crossed arms, military face on.

“I’m sorry, B.C. I can’t do this with you. I

can’t.” She rushed out, down the hall, ignoring all
the looks, and back through the paparazzi, knowing
her whole world had just exploded.

ATER

THAT

NIGHT

Kira sat on the porch. It was

getting dark and she’d had this nervous energy all
day. Self-loathing. She’d watched some of the news
and she couldn’t understand how the story had
leaked.

Kevin sat heavily beside her drinking a bottle of

water. He was dusty from all the ranch work. “You
look like you’ve been crying.”

She sighed. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Did

you see the media report that I had an illicit affair?”

Kevin burst out laughing.
Which wasn’t what she expected. His laughter

interrupted her victim-ness. “Why are you
laughing?”

He grunted. “Kira, come on, you’re…” He gave

her a speculative look.

“What?” Now she was feeling offended and

didn’t know why.

“Did you have an illicit affair?”
“No.” She answered instantly.
“Then,” he said and threw up his hands. “Why

are you upset?”

She felt better with her cousin by her. He was

always so good to her and made her look at things
differently too. “I don’t know.”

He shook his head. “You can’t be afraid of

what people will say, Kira. People say a lot of
stupid stuff.”

She let the words sink in. It was true. Her mind

flashed to B.C. and how he must be feeling.

Kevin turned to her. “So what are you going to

do, Cuz?”

“What do you mean?”
“Well, are you going to the premier?”
“No,” she said quickly.
“Does he want you to?”
“I don’t know.”
Kevin pulled out his phone and showed her a

bunch  of  texts  from  B.C.  “He’s  telling  me  he’s
going  to  be  here  tomorrow  for  a  tour  and  dinner,
then  he’s  going  to  take  you  to  L.A.  for  the
premier.”

Her heartrate quickened. “No, he’s not,” she

said adamantly.

Kevin sighed. “Kira, listen.” He reached out

and put his hand over hers. “I like B.C.”

This was unusual for her cousin. He mostly

stayed out of her business most of the time unless
she specifically asked him. “You do?”

He nodded. “I see potential in him.”
She had to laugh because it sounded funny how

he was acting like a father would act.

Kevin shrugged. “The guy won’t stop texting

me about how the love potions could be made into
a book and he could do the commercial and how
we could get a company to produce the recipes and
that’s how you could pay for Julliard.”

She waved a hand into the air in dismissal, but it

touched her that B.C. was trying to enlist Kevin’s
help. “I don’t need his help.”

Kevin squeezed her hand. “Do you remember

what Nana used to say about true love? About how
it was a lot like charity.”

She hesitated, then thought of the lecture. “The

bible  verse:  Charity  suffereth  long,  and  is  kind;
charity  envieth  not;  charity  vaunteth  not  itself,  is
not  puffed  up,  Doth  not  behave  itself  unseemly,
seeketh not her own.”

Kevin pulled his hand back. “I like B.C. I think

he’s always lived kinda like this. Maybe he’s had to
modify it. Instead of giving away plane tickets, he’s
taking care of you in other ways.”

She felt regret for just leaving him earlier.
Kevin reached behind him and pulled a letter

out of his pocket. “This came for you today.”

Her heart nearly stopped. It was a letter from

Julliard.

He shoved it at her. “Open it.”
Her hand shook as she tore it open. She

scanned the letter quickly and then let out a laugh.
“I got it.”

Her cousin was pulling her up and out of the

chair and swinging her around.

They both held to each other, laughing.
He let her go and took the letter, reading it

himself, then smiling at her. “You got it!”

She laughed.
“What are you going to do, Cuz?”
She stood and walked away. “Excuse me, I

have a call to make.” Without hesitating, she went
to the front of her house and out the front door,
pushing his number.

He answered on the first ring. “Hello.”
“Hey.” Her voice was light, breathy.
“Hey,” he said, sounding unsure.
For a moment neither of them spoke.
Her heart hammered in her chest, then she

asked. “I realized that you just want to help me
fish.”

“What?”
She got choked up. “Nana always said you can

give a man a fish and feed him for a day or you can
teach him to fish and feed him for a lifetime.”

“I’m still not understanding you.”

“You want me to be successful with these

potions  so  I  can  support  myself.  So  I  can  go  to
Julliard  if  I  want.”  Tears  suddenly  streamed  down
her  face.  “You  want  to  help  me  without  buying
me.” Gratitude washed over her.

He let out a light laugh. “I guess that’s true, I

just wouldn’t have said it like that.”

She hated and loved the fact this man was so

good to her.

“Thank you, B.C. for offering to be in my

commercial for my love potions, I’m going to take
you up on that offer.”

For a second there was no response then he said

quietly. “Thank you for letting me help.”

She sniffed. “So, I have a question about this

premier.”

For a second he didn’t respond, then he let out

a light laugh. “You’re coming?”

She laughed. “I need a question answered.”
“Okay.”
“Umm…” she was feeling nervous thinking

about this Hollywood lifestyle. “Where do you go,
when you don’t want to be with the guests?”

“Oh.” He sounded confused. “You mean at the

after party?”

“Yeah.” She was searching for something to

talk about. Something that would make it feel
normal.

“Well,” B.C. cleared his throat. “You see,

Travis  SanBrook’s  mansion  is  notorious.  So  after
we  go  to  the  premier,  we’ll  go  to  his  house  and  it
has all these English gardens and it has a ballroom.
I  like  the  English  gardens.  There’s  a  fountain  with
water  coming  out  of  fish’s  mouths.”  His  voice
trailed for a minute. “I like to just go out there and
be alone.

Her heart still pounded hard. “I’m sorry, B.C. I

shouldn’t have left today. I didn’t know what to do.
I felt like I was in trouble.”

“It was my mom.”
This took her off guard. “What?”
“My mom called and told me I should thank her

for helping to catapult my career back into the
media’s eyes.”

Kira grunted, unbelieving, but very much

believing the women she’d seen that day at the
facility would do that to him.

He scoffed. “I realized today, Kira, that I don’t

care what people think or know. I just care about
the truth. I actually talked to God about it.”

“You did?” Her heart thudded inside her chest.

She liked that he’d said this.

“Yeah, I’ve been talking to him on my runs and

today—this was the main topic. Truth. This is what
I want in myself and this is what I want with us. I
don’t care what the media says. I can’t care. I just
care about the truth.”

She thought about how much he’d changed

since she’d met him. How much she was changing
too. “You’re pretty amazing, B.C. Knight.” She said
his name like an announcer would say it.

He laughed. “So are you.”
Then she started laughing and laughing, almost

hysterical laughing.

“Hey, I’m still on the phone, Moonwater. I’m

going to take this personally.”

She laughed even harder. “I’m laughing

because  of  how  much  I’m  screwing  it  up  too.  I
think  the  bottom  line  is  that  I  feel  I’m  not  good
enough  and  I  hate  it.”  Holy  cow,  she’d  just  had
therapy.

“I feel the same way. I was even torturing

myself today that you would get back with Spence
or something.”

It hit her…he had the same insecurities she did.

“I want to be with you.” She really did.

“You do?” He asked.
She could tell he was smiling.
“I do.”
“Good, Moonwater, cause I want to be with

you, too.”

It felt so funny to her that this was their teenage

love confession awkwardness happening. “Good,
we’re in this together from here on out.”

“Sounds perfect.” He said.
“Oh, and I have to tell you something, since

we’re being real.”

“Okay.”
“I applied for a scholarship.”
“You did?”
“I never thought I was good enough to apply

before. Spence would always joke that only the
really good kids had scholarships, but I applied
right after Nana passed and I got it.”

B.C. let out a whoop. “That’s awesome!”
She laughed. “I am good enough.” She said, her

voice shaking.

“Yeah you are.” B.C. confirmed. “You’re

amazing.”

It was so humbling to hear him say that. “Thank

you.”

“I’m so happy for you,” B.C. said.
“Thank you.” She wiped beneath her eyes.

“But I realize too, that I want to come back to the
ranch at some point, too.”

“Why not?” asked B.C. “You can have both.”
She smiled. “Yeah, I think I can.” She laughed.

“And I might like to hang out with this movie star
in L.A. sometimes, too.”

He let out a sigh. “That sounds amazing.”
It was strange to her that she could see a future

with this man. See them hanging out at the ranch, in
L.A. or anywhere. She just wanted to be with him.”

He sighed. “Well, tomorrow, I’ll leave this place

and be out there. I don’t know when, but sometime
for dinner?”

She smiled. “I’ll cook something.”
“Perfect.”
Happiness surged within her.
“Then we’ll drive to L.A. and you’ll spend the

night, in your own room, at my house. My security
guys will chaperone. I’ll tell them to lock me up
when we go to our separate spaces at night. Like
the old movie Wolfman, where they used to have to
shackle him. Do you remember that?”

She laughed again, unable to picture Wolfman.

“Okay.”

“Night, Moonwalker.” His voice was low.
“Night, Movie Star.”

C H A P T E R 1 3

riday morning B.C. got behind the
wheel of his Porsche and couldn’t

deny that it felt good to be driving again.

Luckily, the paparazzi had finally been forced

to leave when the St. George Police showed up and
escorted  them  off  the  private  property.  Truthfully,
he  didn’t  care  about  that.  He  didn’t  care  about
being photographed or getting back for the premier
or  meeting  with  the  producers  on  the  ‘biggest  role
of his life’ that awaited him in back in L.A.

He cared about her.
The look on her face when she’d left had about

broken him. Last night’s phone conversation had
made him hopeful.

He wanted a life with her more than anything.
He’d spent the next two hours talking to Dr.

Schneider about it. About everything he was

feeling. Truthfully, he liked Dr. Schneider; the man
had been an integral part in helping him see what
he’d been doing in his life to make it superficial.
What he’d been caring about that made him turn to
drugs to feel better.

He needed real.
The real him.
And…the real her. At least…he hoped she

would want him too.

Taking a chance, he stopped at a jewelry store

on the way to the ranch.

Maybe he was crazy, but he didn’t care. If she

insisted on being Amish about her standards, then it
was an easy decision—he’d marry her!

As he drove up to the ranch, it didn’t disappoint

him.

Big trees, long-winding driveway. Then the

stately looking house with black shutters. Tall flag
pole with Old Glory waving in the light breeze. He
thought of how he should tell her to add the flower
boxes to the description. They were beautiful.

Suddenly, his palms felt nervous and he was a

bit sick.

What if…it all went to crap? This was

uncharted ground for the drug-free B.C.

He parked and saw cows out in a pasture and

then saw Kevin wearing wranglers, a cowboy hat,
work gloves, boots – the whole deal.

Their eyes met, then Kevin nodded and began

striding toward him.

It relieved him that Kevin didn’t look mad. He

and Kevin were texting pals. He got to him and
they shook hands.

“What’s up, man?”
B.C. relaxed. “Nice to see you again, but I

can’t lie. I’m here to see her.”

He frowned at B.C. “I hate to be the one to tell

you this but Spence showed up about an hour ago.

B.C. saw the Hyundai, a rental car. Adrenaline

shot through him and he wanted so bad to fight.
“Where is she?”

Kevin’s eyes fell to the house. “In there.”
B.C’s heart raced. “With Spence,” he said, and

knew it was the truth by the way Kevin looked at
him.

Rushing, he took the steps two at a time, not

bothering to ask permission to go in.

C H A P T E R 1 4

ira hadn’t known what to do when
Spence had shown up a bit ticked
off.

Of course he’d seen the coverage of her

walking into the facility and he’d heard the reports.
He’d shown up this morning in quite a rage.

Now, he sat at the kitchen table with her,

drinking some ‘tea’ which was a calming remedy in
fact, and droning on and on about the poor Africans
and how he’d had to leave the village and…

Truly she felt like a heel, thinking she didn’t

really care at the moment about the poor Africans.

“What?” he asked, after a couple of moments

of her not doing her usual sympathizing. The
sympathizing she’d done the past year. “So what do
you have to say for yourself?”

Had he really just asked that? “We are not

together Spence. This was established weeks ago.”

“What are you talking about? I’m paying for

Julliard,” he shouted.

The ridiculousness of him even being here made

her want to throw something. Unfortunately, it also
brought up all her insecurities. “No, you’re not.”

“It’s already paid.” He said it like now she was

his indentured servant.

Shaking her head, she couldn’t believe him.

“Did you even think about how I needed you when
Nana died?” She sounded so weak. She hated
herself for sounding so weak.

“Pfft.” He threw up a hand. “I told you I’d just

gotten there, I was just starting to get to know
everyone in the village. You don’t understand,
these people have nothing.”

“I had nothing,” she said, feeling a tear leak

down her face at the way it was so blatantly
obviously now that Spence hadn’t cared. “I had lost
my Nana.”

He put up a hand. “Please, don’t tell me

another story about your Nana!” he erupted. “Nana
says this and Nana has a potion for that. And Nana
wanted me to wait to sleep with someone because
of God.” He glared at her. “God’s not real! He’s
just a construction in your head!” he shouted.

She rushed toward the kitchen entrance. “You

need to leave.” She held open the pantry-style door
and tried to calm her shaking. What the heck had

she been doing the last year? Wasting so much of
herself on him?

After hem-hawing and lots of mumbling

“Unbelievable.” Spence finally moved to the door,
stopping in front of her.

He did something she never would have

imagined. Something not very characteristic of him.
Something desperate. He grabbed her and planted a
kiss on her. So passionate and so angry.

She pushed against his chest.
Then she heard a scuffle from the front door

and the word, “Moonwater?”

C H A P T E R 1 5

hat in the world had happened?

B.C. found himself staring at

Kira in a lip lock with the idiot, he presumed.

Yanking back, Kira looked angry and she

pushed Spence away hard. “Why did you do that?”
She turned to B.C. “It’s not what it looks like.”

B.C. was reeling, he stumbled back and nearly

knocked over Kevin.

Spence, or who he presumed was Spence,

turned to him and glared. “Oh, the movie star.
Perfect.” He snickered. “Guess you can see, she’s
still mine!”

For a second B.C. couldn’t breathe and then all

he saw was red. He clutched a hand into a fist.

Kira put up a hand. “Wait, don’t hit him!”
B.C. blinked. “What the…” then he thought of

what a fool he was. He had a ring in his pocket. He

C H A P T E R 1 6

hat was she doing? Kira waited in
the back seat as the Uber driver

weaved his way through the streets of L.A. She was
going to the premier. Nervous jitters assaulted her
and she stomach felt unsettled, like she might throw
up.

She’d been devastated after the whole ordeal

with B.C. walking in while she was kissing Spence.

It’d been awful, she’d gone after B.C., but he

wouldn’t stop. She’d tried to call him, but he
wouldn’t answer. She’d gone to her room and cried
and looked out over the ranch and felt so hopeless.
Then Kevin had called her downstairs and, to her
complete surprise, Dr. Schneider had been there.

“Usually, I don’t get involved.” The doctor had

scowled. “Especially because I don’t encourage
patient-staff relations.”

She’d felt guilty.
He

sighed.

“But

you

are

Lulubelle’s

granddaughter.”  He’d  flashed  her  a  smile.  “And,
B.C. shared a lot of things with me.” He cocked an
eyebrow. “Things that led me to believe that, while
he was doing a lot of changing on his own, he was
also  falling  in  love  with  you.”  He  sighed.  “He  told
me  about  how  you  two  would  joke  about  the  love
potions,  and  I  don’t  believe  a  potion  can  make
someone fall in love, but … I do believe in love.”

His words filled her with hope. “At first I was

worried you might replace drugs for B.C., but I
want you to believe I don’t think that’s the case at
all. And after I heard what happened between you
two, I just knew I had to get involved.”

She had been completely floored. “You did?”
Then he handed her a phone number and

address. “I contacted B.C.’s agent, they’ll have a
car for you at the airport to take you to the premier
if you still want to go.”

At that moment, she felt like Nana had been

there, watching over her, guiding her to this night –
back to B.C. because she had to believe she would
actually make it back to him.

Kevin, of course, had doused her with All My

Heart before he’d dropped her off at the airport and
told her to ‘get her man back.’

When the car stopped, she saw lots of cameras

flashing and people dressed beautifully getting out

of limousines along with one person she never
thought she would run into tonight.

B.C.’s mother.
A guy wearing a tux reached out and opened

the door for her. “Hello there, you must be Kira.”

The guy was one of those overly polished types.

His hair slicked back a bit too much, his shoes a
little too polished.

She took his hand and got out.
The guy put on, what she immediately knew,

was a fake smile. “I’m Jake, B.C.’s agent.”

Her heart rate kicked up a notch. “H-hello.”

Where was B.C.? She tried to look for him but
couldn’t see him.

His mother gave her a fake smile and moved to

her, looping her arm with hers. “Jake called me and
told me you were coming. Naturally, he thought I
would want to be in on this surprise for B.C.”

Uncertainty pulsed through her and a heavy

scent  fell  upon  her,  like  the  kind  one  would  smell
when  walking  through  the  perfume  part  of  a
grocery  store,  after  teenagers  had  been  messing
around. She coughed.

Suddenly, she was being taken, pulled onto the

red carpet by B.C.’s mother. She put on a phony
smile and posed for the cameras. “It’s a whole new
world here,” she whispered to Kira through her
fake smile. “I don’t know if you would fit in here,
princess.”

Trying to smile and do what B.C.’s mother was

doing, she felt like she had bricks for feet.
“Where’s B.C.?” She asked, looking desperately
for him.

His mother continued to yank on her arm. “Oh,

he’s inside. Come with me.”

As they got closer to the entrance of the

premier, there were more people and they started
getting closer to her, pressing in on her and asking
all kinds of questions.

B.C.’s

mother

would

bat

them

away

dramatically. “Leave room for my baby’s girl
please.”

Tacky.
That’s what this whole show was to Kira and

she could not wait to find B.C.

When they finally got through the door, B.C.’s

mother was closer to her, keeping her in some kind
of vice grip.

“Oh, look there’s B.C. with … the star from the

movie, doesn’t Sheena look amazing!” She said like
some teenager.

Sheena, his co-star, was draped around him, like

some fur coat.

She stopped. It felt like she had taken a punch

to her gut. All the air left her.

There he was on stage, quite a distance away

from her. Kira felt ill and wondered what the heck
she was doing here. B.C.’s mother laughed and kept

pulling her down the red carpet, on their way to
him.

Practicing slow breathing, Kira told herself she

could last until she got to him. She could. She had
to.

Everything happened so fast. She saw B.C.’s

agent on stage with them. The agent whispered
something into the woman’s ear and then she gave
B.C. this look.

Kira saw the look on Sheena’s face and knew

she was going to kiss him.

“B.C.!” She yelled out, wanting to get his

attention, to warn him.

His head jerked, but it was too late. The

woman’s lips were all over him before he saw Kira.

It made her stumble, to see him kissing another

woman. Granted, yes, she’d seen it on the big
screen before, but this felt so … disgusting now.

The audience went wild, people all around them

were clapping and shouting out.

B.C. pulled away from the actress and someone

shouted they needed a picture.

She could tell he was upset, but he held still for

the pose.

Kira wasn’t moving forward any longer. She felt

like her arm would break from his mother yanking
on it and finally, she pushed the woman away. “I
can’t do this.”

Devastated, sickened, and angry with the way

she was feeling, she thought again, about the
Hollywood lifestyle. “This isn’t for me.”

B.C.’s mother jerked her head back and

laughed like she’d heard the funniest joke in the
world.

Kira’s heart raced as she watched B.C. still

posing. This couldn’t be her life. A tear fell down
her cheek.

B.C.’s mother gave her cheek a little pat. “No,

darling, you best head home. Driver’s waiting.”

Part of her wanted to call out to B.C. again, but

the other part of her. The one who felt like
Cinderella at the ball, turned and ran.

C H A P T E R 1 7

.C.  stood  on  the  veranda  of  the  back
deck,  staring  into  the  sunset  on  the
oceanfront  property.  It  was  beautiful,

but tonight he preferred the desert to the ocean.

He exhaled and thought about how he wished

Kira  had  been  here  tonight.  With  him.  He  thought
about  how  he’d  tried  to  call  her  and  she  wouldn’t
answer. He didn’t blame her. He shouldn’t have left
the  way  he  did  back  at  the  ranch.  He  regretted  it
now  but  when  he’d  seen  her  kissing  Spence  his
brain  had  gone  completely  muddled  and  all  he
could  think  about  was  every  woman  he’d  had  a
relationship who’d cheated on him and used him.

The premier had been a success. The movie

looked  good.  Which  was  a  relief.  He  still  didn’t
know  about  getting  the  part  in  the  other  movie.
He’d  told  Jake  he  needed  a  break  for  a  bit  and

where to find him if he needed him.

Looking at the bottle of water in his hand, he

thought he should cut out of the party early and not
be around the drugs and the drinking. He didn’t
need that tonight. Or ever really.

Moonwalker’s face flashed into his mind and he

decided he definitely needed to leave this party.

He grinned as he saw his Red Rock Acres group

moving toward him.

Gary had his arm laced through Zoe and Tina’s.

All of them were dressed to the nines and he could
tell they were very happy to be out and about in
Hollywood again.

“Hey, B.C. do you remember the episode when

Mr. Farley comes in the apartment and stumbles
down the stairs.” Gary chugged out a laugh.

B.C. grinned, not wanting to point out that was

pretty much every episode. “I think so.”

Zoe rolled her eyes and hushed Gary. “Be quite.

We’re here to support B.C.” She put on a frown,
but her face wouldn’t really turn down. “Have you
heard from her?”

“Yeah?” Tina asked. “Where is she?”
He shook his head, disappointment filling him.

“Nope.” He hoped he might. Even though he’d left
in such a state of anger. An image of her kissing her
old boyfriend made him want to hit something.

“Hey, guys, want to get out of here?” He asked.
Zoe held up her phone. “Look what I just saw.”

B.C. was curious. For a second he couldn’t

believe it. The image on the screen was Kira, in the
dress he gave her, standing next to his mother at the
Premier.

The reporter’s voice came on. “Caught on tape,

B.C. Knight’s little rehab hook up showed up at the
premiere,  only  to  find  him  kissing  Sheena  Turner,
his  co-star,  in  the  latest  Raced  and  Wrecked
Movie.”  The  camera  went  to  a  shot  of  him  kissing
Sheena.  B.C.  thought  of  the  fact  he  hadn’t  known
they would be kissing. Sheena had just planted one
on him.

B.C. was instantly sickened, then angry at

Sheena and his agent. He knew Jake had
coordinated that. He clutched a hand into a fist.
“Where is Kira?”

Zoe shook her head. “We haven’t seen her?”
His mind raced and he was immediately angry

at his mother. She’d done this, too.

Like a wild man, he rushed away from them. “I

have to find her.”

He heard a whistle. “B.C.!”
He turned and saw Jake with Mr. SanBrook

coming toward him. He didn’t have time for this.

“B.C.” Jake said, waving him to them. “Let’s

chat for a minute.”

B.C. contained his anger, shoving it down for

later. Focus. Focus. Focus. This could be the
biggest break in his career as an actor.

Jake gave him that slimy, agent smile. “B.C.,

Meet Mr. SanBrook.”

He shook Mr. SanBrook’s hand. “Nice to meet

you, sir.”

Mr. SanBrook looked him up and down. “You

think you’re ready for the next level? For military,
World War II, Nazi’s, a love story, and everything
fans die for?”

“Yes, sir.” Heck yeah, he was ready but he had

to find Kira. His mind whirled with possibilities of
where she could be.

Mr. SanBrook laughed.
Jake laughed, too.
Mr. SanBrook pulled out a bottle of pills and

popped  them  open,  turning  to  Jake  and  him  and
holding  some  out.  “I…uh.”  He  laughed.  “Yeah,  I
heard  you  just  made  it  through  your  first  round  of
rehab.”  He  scoffed.  “We  all  have  to  go  back
sometimes.”

Jake eyed him, then put his hand out and took a

pill from Mr. SanBrook, gesturing to B.C. to follow
suit.

Every part of B.C. was on edge and he felt like

he  was  in  high  school  again  and  guys  on  the  team
were  doing  steroids  and  they  offered  it  to  him  and
there was all this pressure. He stared at the pills in
Mr. SanBrook’s hand. Reaching out, he picked it up
and  held  it  between  his  thumb  and  forefinger.  He
examined  it;  his  nemesis,  his  relief,  his  savior,  his

tormentor. Slowly, he put it down. His heart raced.
“Nah, I don’t need that anymore.”

Mr. SanBrook laughed. “Really? You’re

cured?”

His words were taunting.
Jake put his hand on B.C.’s shoulder. “Just give

him some time, everything will go back to normal.”

B.C. didn’t understand. He glared at Jake. “You

want me addicted to pills?”

Jake shrugged. “I didn’t say that.” He let out a

skittering  laugh  and  looked  between  the  two  men.
“I  just  think  you  relax  more  when  you  have
something.”  He  gestured  to  the  pills.  “I  think  it
helps take the edge off so you’re not so stressed.”

B.C. wanted to punch him in the face. Anger

exploded  inside  of  him.  He  glared  at  Jake  and
turned  to  Mr.  SanBrook.  “If  this  is  a  part  of  the
project,  then  I’m  out.”  B.C.  walked  away  and
glanced  back  over  his  shoulder.  “Jake,  I’m  taking
some  time  off.”  He  walked  down  the  deck  stairs
and toward the gardens and felt freer then he’d felt
for ages because he finally had the freedom to say
no. It felt dang good.

C H A P T E R 1 8

t hadn’t been easy to get in the door at
the after party at Travis SanBrook’s
house, but Kira was determined.

After getting half-way to the airport, she’d

decided she wasn’t going to play this game. It was
shocking what his mother had done, but she
remembered what they’d talked about…their
relationship was real.

She was done with letting Spence or B.C.’s

mother  or  anyone  else  determine  her  relationship
with B.C. So she’d called Dr. Schneider and asked
him to use his connections to help her get in. Now
she  wandered  through  all  the  people  and  pushed
through the ballroom. The whole place could really
be  a  fairy  tale,  she  decided.  It  felt  completely
unreal, and perfect and fake.

Hopefully, he would be where he said he went

when he went to these parties. Praying she could
find him and make things right, she went through
the double doors to the deck.

Kira spotted him. Standing by a fountain in the

garden, looking out over the ocean. For a second
the mere sight of him took her breath away.

He was gorgeous and at this moment he looked

tortured.

Her heart skipped and she rushed to him,

unable to stop herself. “B.C.”

He jolted and turned, his eyes widening as he

saw her.

She saw tears on his face.
Of course, then she was instantly crying.
His face brightened into a smile and he opened

his arms.

Then she was running down the deck stairs and

he was moving toward her.

She fell into his arms.
He held her close for a moment and she could

feel his heart beating. He pulled her back. “You
look so beautiful in that dress.”

The whole night she hadn’t even thought about

the dress because of all the other drama, but now
she put her hands on the material and thought about
how he’d had this made for her.

His face looked like it would break with a sad

happy.

She blinked. “You think?”

Once again he pulled her back into his arms,

holding her close. “Kira,” he whispered into her
ear. “You’re so perfect and beautiful and I’m so
sorry.”

This felt like…the only place she belonged.
“I’m sorry, too.”
They stood like that for a long, long time.
Then she pulled back and smiled. “I heard the

best movie stars hang out here.”

Cocking an eyebrow he shook his head. “I saw

the footage of you at the premiere.” He winced. “I
saw me kissing Sheena. I promise you, that wasn’t
me.”

“I know.” Because she did know, “I even knew

it when I saw you but your mother made it…” she
trailed.

“My mother.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
She took his hand. “Remember, we’re only

going to live in truth.”

The edges of his lips turned up into a smile.

“That’s right.” He tugged her in and ever so softly
touched his lips to hers.

Chills washed over her.
He pressed his forehead to hers. “The only

thing that’s real…is us. And no one gets to tell us
what we are. Or what we should be.”

She squeezed his hand. “Or if we’ll work or

not.”

Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes. “I love

you, Kira Moonwater.”

Her heart beat faster. “Good, cause I love you,

too.”

The side of his lip tugged up. “The moment I

first saw you I found what I’d been looking for
every minute of my life. Truth. Goodness. And
you’ve helped me see that I don’t have to just try to
be strong.” He pounded a fist into the center of his
chest. “And God has helped me be strong.” A tear
leaked down his face.

She sniffed and tears were on her cheeks. “You

helped me realize that I deserve someone who
loves me and cares for me.”

He nodded. “You’ve given me what fame,

money, and even pills could never give me. Real
love.” He winked at her. “I would credit the love
potions, but that might be a bit over the top.”

She laughed and pulled him back to her. Their

lips  met  and  everything  about  him  fell  over  her  in
happy  waves  of  pure  love.  It  felt  like  a  bird  flying
and  going  anywhere  she  wanted  to  go  and  he  was
flying with her.

Without warning, he dipped her back and kissed

her dramatically.

She giggled, but kept kissing him, thinking how

much she loved this man.

He pulled back and stared at her, caressing her

face. “You’re beautiful.”

She smiled. “So are you.”

He rolled his eyes. “You don’t think the accent

is beautiful.”

The center of her chest lightened. She smiled.

“Don’t bring that up.”

He smiled.
“What about the movie?”
His features darkened. “I got it, but I turned it

down.

“What?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, funny story, the producer

is on pills and it was kinda like a try out…to see if I
would take one.”

She was stunned. “You have to be on drugs to

be the leading role?”

He let out a breath. “I’m over it because I told

them I’m taking some time off.”

She could hardly breathe. “What? What are

you going to do?”

He grinned, then he was on his knee, pulling out

a ring box. “I thought I might go hang out at
Julliard for a bit with this really hot chick who just
got a scholarship.”

She laughed. It was all happening so quickly.

“B.C.?” She whispered, unable to believe that he
was kneeling in front of her.

He stared up at her, smiled and opened the box.

“What do you say, Moonwater? Marry me? And
spend the rest of our lives together, figuring it all
out together and loving every minute of it.

Completely speechless, she stared at the

diamond that was in a butterfly setting. More tears
fell down her cheek.

“Kira,” he whispered.
“Yes!” She fell into his arms and laughed. He

picked her up and spun her around, “Let’s not have
a long engagement.”

She giggled and pulled him in for another kiss.
He deepened it and she felt lost in him and

found in him. Pulling back, she smiled. “Let’s
elope!”

B.C. laughed. “Now you’re talking!”
She held up her phone and pushed Kevin’s

number.

“Hello.” He answered on the first ring.
She grinned at B.C. and felt so happy. “Hey

Cuz, can you get away from the ranch for twelve
hours and meet us in Vegas?”

Her cousin laughed. “I’m there!”
B.C. kissed her and she dropped the phone,

laughing as he picked her up and spun her in his
arms. “Let’s dance together the rest of our lives.”

She felt happy and free, she knew this would be

better than any future she could have imagined.
“It’s a deal!”

E P I L O G UE

1 Year Later

.C. sat in the audience at Kira’s
graduation; unable to believe he’d been
married to this beautiful woman for a

little over a year.

As she walked across the stage to accept her

diploma he and Kevin were on their feet, shouting
and hollering and making all kinds of fuss. Of
course, he could see her blushing, but she surprised
him by stopping and pointing out to the audience at
them.

Which only encouraged them and made them

yell louder.

The center of his heart squeezed inside of his

chest. He was so proud of her. It was even more

than pride…it was…something that took his breath
away.

After they’d gotten married in Vegas, he’d

stayed on the ranch with her the rest of the
summer, helping Kevin and it felt…exactly the
place he wanted to be.

It had worked out so well that currently, he and

Kira  were  having  a  home  built  about  half  a  mile
down from Nana’s old house or Kevin’s home. It’d
been so fun building that home with her, designing
it,  envisioning  the  family  they  would  have  there,
having  a  stable  place  that  B.C.  could  provide  for
her and children.

Staying off drugs had been hard. There were

times he thought about taking a pill or having a
drink, but … he also had something way bigger to
live for. A woman, a family, a legacy of love that he
wanted for all of them.

His mother had been out for a visit but she

wasn’t impressed.

The best thing was that B.C. no longer cared

about  impressing  her.  On  his  long  runs  he’d  talked
with  God  and  decided  the  best  course  was….to
forgive  her  and  let  her  live  her  life  and  he  would
live his life.

The funniest, most ironic thing that had

happened this past year was when Mr. SanBrook
had called him right after Kira had left for Julliard,
and extended him an official offer to star in his new

movie, Fear of Light, about a guy struggling to
overcome his addictions. He’d laughed so hard,
then accepted the role on the spot.

Even though the past year had been lots of

being away from each other, lots of plane rides
back and forth. Hours of conversations on the
phone, really getting to know her…it was worth it.
Unable to believe it—he fell in love with her more
and more every day.

Kevin leaned over to him. “When are you going

to tell her about the surprise?”

A feeling of anticipation rushed through him.

He’d planned this surprise a couple of months ago
and had tried to coordinate everything perfectly so
she wouldn’t find out.

He grinned and nudged Kevin. “I don’t know,

but the jet is set to take off whenever we’re ready.”

Kevin let out a light laugh. “I’m happy for you

guys.”

B.C. pulled out an envelope and passed it to

Kevin.

Kevin looked confused. “What’s this?”
B.C. grinned. The fact was, second to Kira,

Kevin had become a really great friend and cousin
in law.

Kevin cocked an eyebrow and opened the

envelope, then shook his head and tried to push it
back. “No, I’m not taking them.”

B.C. pushed it back. “Yes, you are. And when

Kira and I get back, we’re going to take care of the
ranch for a couple of weeks and you can just go. Be
free. Take that nice girl you’ve been dating or heck,
propose and use the trip as a honeymoon.”

Kevin’s face blushed and B.C. thought about

the fact he and Kira had so many similar traits—
like turning all kinds of shades of red when they
were embarrassed.

The ceremony ended and the audience clapped

and stood.

After waiting for a few minutes, as Kira hugged

many of her classmates and professors, B.C. had to
force himself to remain calm. He’d flown in this
morning and hardly had any time with her.

Now…he wanted all of her. He couldn’t wait to

reveal his surprise to her.

Finally, she rushed toward him and he loved the

fact that it was the most natural thing for him to
open his arms and have her rush into them.

They both laughed and their eyes held and it

was like…it had always been with her. Real.
Happy. Free.

Their lips met and it was like they were in their

own world and B.C. had to force himself not to just
wildly make out with her in front of everyone.

Giggling, she pushed him back and smiled. “I

have a surprise for you, Movie Star.” She said in a
sing song tone.

He mock frowned and held her tighter,

snuggling her closer to him, loving the way she felt
perfect in his arms. “It’s your graduation, I have a
surprise for you.”

Shaking her head back and forth, she had a silly

look on her face. “Nope, mine’s better.”

Thinking of his surprise, he shook his head. “No

way, mine’s better.”

Her smiled widened even more and she leaned

in to whisper in his ear.

He prevented it. “No, it’s your graduation day, I

want to tell you your present.”

She laughed and he thought she looked like the

most  amazingly,  beautiful,  a  bit  wild,  dancer  girl
he’d  ever  known.  Just  like  the  first  time  he’d  met
her. He leaned forward and whispered, “I have two
tickets  to  Paris  and  I’ve  cleared  my  schedule  for
two weeks.”

He felt her do little jumps of excitement and

then she was kissing him.

He let her, taking the opportunity to pull her

even closer and run his hand down her hair.

Kevin coughed next to them. “We’re in public

people.”

Which made both of them laugh.
He let her go a little and she grinned up at him.
“Are you ready for your surprise?”
Comfortable with the fact she probably

couldn’t top Paris, but pleased she was making
such a fuss and looked so happy, he nodded and

leaned in.

“You’re going to be a daddy.”
Every part of him went still. Then their eyes

met and he instantly had tears in his.

Of course they’d been NOT preventing it, but

not really ‘trying’ either.

Suddenly he let out a whoop and bent down and

picked her up and let out another whoop. He spun
her. “I’m going to be a daddy!”

“What?” Kevin asked next to them.
B.C. put her down.
She fell into him, tears streaming down her

face. “I hope that’s okay?”

He laughed and new tears were on his own

face. “That’s the best news ever!”

Kevin stood next to them, tears on his face, a

smile so wide it might crack his face. He put his
arms around both of them and laughed. “I’m going
to be an uncle.”

They all laughed.
B.C. kissed her again and felt this calm, excited,

happy buzz going through him. “You’re surprise
was better.”

She laughed.
Kevin grinned and put a hand on each of them.

“I wondered if the potion would work, I guess it
did.”

Both of them turned to him all confused.
Kevin grinned. “Love Potion Number 6.”

B.C. and Kira both burst out laughing and B.C.

pulled Kira into him, holding her. “I guess it’s not
just a love potion…it’s a family potion.”

HANK

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T H E T O UG H L O V E G R O O M

elicity Song sat in her office at
DaVinci PR Firm and stared at Kade

Kincaid’s  gorgeous  face  on  the  television  screen.
The starting quarterback for the Texas Titans stood
with  an  air  of  grandeur.  His  chiseled  features,
penetrating blue eyes, and blond hair made it clear
why  fans  affectionately  called  the  man  Zeus.  He
had  the  look  of  a  warrior,  and  in  the  football
stadium, he was definitely akin to a god.

The reporter pushed a microphone at him. “So

Kade, word on the street is that you and the Triple
Threat are making a big showing at the bachelor
auction tomorrow night to raise money for the
children’s hospital in Dallas. Are you excited about
this?”

Kade dipped his head, cracking a smile. “Well, I

don’t know how excited I am to be sold.”

The reporter laughed. “I’m sure many beautiful

women will bid on you.”

“These things aren’t really my scene,” Kade

admitted, “but when I heard it was for a good
cause, I agreed. It’s a great opportunity to come out
and raise big money. You know, there are lots of
kids who need our help—for their surgeries, to pay
for their therapy …”

As he talked, Felicity sized him up on camera.

She’d only been assigned to be part of his PR team
a week ago, but she’d been studying him nonstop
since then. It was hard not to be intimidated by
him.

“Well …” The reporter turned to the camera. “I

think it’s a great thing you and your buds are doing.
Tell me, is your brother Anthony going to be part of
this auction tomorrow?”

“What?” Kade’s smile faltered.
Felicity’s heart rate kicked up a notch, and

panic  propelled  her  to  her  feet.  It  was  her  job  to
notify Mr. DaVinci, who would immediately notify
Mr.  Kincaid,  if  his  brother  had  been  spotted  in
town. This was not good. Kade’s brother, Anthony,
was  also  a  quarterback—the  starting  quarterback
for the Houston Sentinels, the Titans’ hottest rivals.

The clip was time-stamped almost exactly an

hour ago. With growing trepidation, Felicity
scrolled through her alerts on Google, Twitter, and
Instagram, searching for news on Anthony Kincaid.

The reporter didn’t seem to notice Kade’s slip.

“It has been reported he is in town this week, and
we thought maybe he’d be another bachelor on the
chopping block, so to speak.”

She found it. Gah! Anthony had tweeted out to

his fans he would be making a trip to Dallas. Dang
it!

Kade’s smile widened, and Felicity recognized

it as fake. “I’m not sure what my brother has
planned, but if he is coming, we’ll get him sold too
and make even more money for those kids.”

The reporter laughed, and the clip ended.
Trembling, Felicity shut her laptop. Crap. Being

part  of  the  Kincaid  team  was  a  bigger  job  than
she’d  anticipated.  Kade’s  father  was  an  oil  tycoon
and  tight  with  Mr.  DaVinci,  the  owner  and  boss  of
everything here. He’d been pretty specific on what
her job was: notifying him when she heard anything
about Anthony.

It all felt so stupid to her. Why couldn’t

Anthony let his brother know when he was coming?
Why couldn’t the family just text each other? But
Mr. DaVinci had privately told her there were
family issues they didn’t want to make public. The
brothers didn’t get along, although they didn’t want
their problems splashed all over the news.

Felicity cringed and thought about how she’d

been preoccupied since she’d seen the foreclosure
notice on her mother’s counter. Her mother would

lose her house if Felicity couldn’t come up with the
hundred grand to make it current by the end of the
month.

Putting her hand to her heart, she pulled in a

long, slow breath. She had to keep this job. It was
her fault her mother was losing the house. Those
had been her medical bills, and it was her fault she
hadn’t done this job right.

Her boss burst into her office, looking pale.

“Did you see the latest clip on Kade Kincaid?”

Feeling uncertain, she nodded. “Just looked it

over, sir.”

Mr. DaVinci loomed over her desk. “Well,

apparently, it mentioned his brother coming to
town. You were the one assigned to keep the team
updated as to the whereabouts of Kade’s brother,
and you clearly dropped the ball.”

She sat there silently. What was she supposed to

say?

Fortunately, Mr. DaVinci was cut off by a

commotion  coming  from  the  lobby.  She  followed
him  as  he  rushed  out  to  meet  Kade  Kincaid,  and
Felicity  found  herself  again  comparing  him  to  a
thunderous  Zeus.  He  wore  a  black  leather  jacket
and  held  his  helmet  in  a  death  grip,  crackling  with
frustration.  She  surmised  he  had  been  on  his  red
street bike—the one he’d bought and shown off last
month.

He glowered, turning to Mr. DaVinci and

pointing at him like he was challenging him to a
duel. “You!”

Mr. DaVinci, ever the PR master, put on a fake

smile. “Well, hello, Mr. Kincaid. What can I do for
you today?”

Kincaid’s features were tight, controlled. “I

thought we had a deal. You would alert me
immediately when my brother came to town.”

What did you do when the gods came for their

duel?  You  placated  them  as  best  you  could.  Mr.
DaVinci  gestured  to  Felicity’s  office.  “Would  you
like a drink? Are you hungry? Why don’t you come
into  my  associate’s  office  and  sit,  and  we’ll  talk
about this.”

Felicity felt her heart rate jump, and her face

stretched with a rubbery smile as Kade’s eyes met
hers.

“Fine.” For all his anger, Kade Kincaid looked

astoundingly unruffled. In fact, she’d seen that look
of  determination  on  the  field  when  he  pulled  his
helmet  off  before  a  huddle.  He  stormed  past  her
and sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. “I
had  your  word,”  he  said  gruffly,  keeping  his
attention  on  Mr.  DaVinci,  who  followed  and  stood
next to the front of her desk.

Mr. DaVinci spoke calmly. “I can assure you,

Mr. Kincaid, that no one knew Anthony was
coming to town until that video clip.”

Felicity admired Mr. DaVinci at that moment. It

was hard to deal with unrealistic expectations, and
he was obviously good at managing them.

Mr. DaVinci turned to Felicity. “Sir, Felicity is

on this, and she is the best. She doesn’t miss a beat.
If she says no one knew, no one knew.”

Felicity shifted as Mr. Kincaid swung his gaze

to  meet  hers.  A  charge  went  through  her,  like  she
could  feel  Zeus  reach  down  and  touch  the  earth
with  his  lightning  bolt.  The  man  was,  for  lack  of  a
better  word,  intense.  Fierce.  Every  bit  the  warrior
she’d  been  watching  almost  nonstop  for  the  past
seven  days.  On  the  field,  he  was  a  pure  strategist,
often  being  called  a  second  coach.  He  could  read
the  defense  like  he  had  a  crystal  ball,  and  it  had
earned  him  a  reputation  for  getting  through
impossible defenses.

Mr. DaVinci’s mantra for dealing with his

famous clients popped into her mind: You’ve got to
fake  it  ’til  you  make  it.  The  first  time  she’d  sat
down  with  him,  he  had  explained  in  detail  that
these  people  don’t  shy  away  from  weakness;  they
chew it up and spit it out. If you are confronted by
a  client  you  are  the  least  bit  intimidated  by,  you
fake  it.  Mustering  a  pleasant  expression,  she  held
her hand out. “Mr. Kincaid, nice to meet you.”

He cursorily shook her hand, then turned back

to Mr. DaVinci. “You better explain to me what
happened.”

Felicity tried not to take the snub personally. He

clearly didn’t want to deal with her.

“We’re not sure, Mr. Kincaid.” Mr. DaVinci’s

tone was the perfect blend of professional and
disconcerted.

Striking out faster than she could track, Kade

pounded  a  fist  onto  her  desk,  rattling  the  whole
surface and causing her new vase to fall and crack
on  the  floor.  “How  could  you  let  this  slip  through
the  defenses?”  he  demanded.  The  sound  of  glass
breaking didn’t even faze him.

Felicity stared at the special vase her mother

had given her last week as congratulations for
getting her new job. She fought the urge to cry.

Mr. DaVinci looked at the glass and then

cocked an eyebrow at Mr. Kincaid. “Keep your
temper in check, please.”

Mr. Kincaid let out a breath and clenched his

hand  into  a  fist,  standing.  His  lip  turned  up  in  a
snarl.  “Another  mess-up,  and  we’re  done.  My
business will be gone, and I’m sure you know that
means  my  father’s  business  will  be  gone,  too.”
Trudging  away  from  the  desk,  he  whipped  on  his
sunglasses and turned back, still staring at DaVinci.

Mr. DaVinci kept his poker face and stood, but

didn’t follow him. “Breathe, Mr. Kincaid.
Everything is handled.”

Mr. Kincaid let out a long breath and tugged off

his sunglasses. “We need to talk about Sheena
Galloway. She’s still causing me issues. You need to

make sure she doesn’t bother me tomorrow night at
the auction.”

“Of course.”
“That woman might have had her way with

other quarterbacks like Roman Young and Sam
Dumont, but keep her out of my sights. She’s toxic,
poison, tainted. I went out with her once. She’s
crazy. I don’t want her around.”

Mr.

DaVinci

nodded.

“I

understand

completely.”

Mr. Kincaid pushed a hand through his hair.

“As for my brother, I can’t be blindsided by him
again. I can’t. That’s the one condition I asked for
when I agreed to sign on with this firm.”

“We will have one of our best people at the

auction to make sure everything turns out perfectly,
and you’ll know the next time your brother is in
town. You have my word.”

Barking out a laugh, Kade swung his gaze to

Felicity. “If she’s the one who handled notifying me
before, it appears ‘your word’ is in trouble.”

Felicity’s breath hitched inside of her chest, and

she bit back the urge to tell him off—not just for
doubting her, but also for breaking her vase. Feeling
like a scullery maid, she bent to pick up the glass.
“It’s handled.”

“I guess we’ll see,” Mr. Kincaid said.
Felicity stood, wanting to demand an apology,

wanting to shove the job and walk out, wanting to

be anywhere except here. But as she well knew, she
usually didn’t get what she wanted in life.

Mr. Kincaid lifted his chin and looked down his

nose at Mr. DaVinci. “Your butt is on the line,
DaVinci.” He said the words like he would say it to
one of his fellow players on the field.

Mr. DaVinci glanced at Felicity. “Thank you for

this opportunity, Mr. Kincaid. We won’t let you
down.”

Kincaid’s eyes narrowed and swung toward her.

She  met  his  gaze,  feeling  every  bit  as  angry  as  he
appeared  to  be.  She  wondered  if  he  would  say
something threatening to her. Luckily, she was not a
small woman, standing at roughly five ten. His six-
three frame didn’t intimidate her in the least. No, if
someone  asked  her  what  intimidated  her  about
Kade,  she  would  have  told  them  it  was  his  intense
blue eyes. Hard and dark when he was unhappy or
displeased with a play on the field. Serene and calm
and almost light when he was happy and talking to
an interviewer about his recent project—learning to
fly helicopters.

Abruptly, he turned and left. She and Mr.

DaVinci watched him make his way through the
lobby and down the hall to the elevator.

Once Kade was out of earshot, Mr. DaVinci

turned  to  her,  wearing  a  stern  look  that  said  he
knew  he  had  the  upper  hand.  “Well,  Felicity,  I
believe  in  accountability.  I  believe  people  should

have a chance to clean up their messes. So here’s
the deal. Make the man happy, and you keep your
job. But if he’s upset even for a second, if I hear
one tiny whiff that he might pull his business after
tomorrow night, you’re gone.”

Felicity didn’t flinch. “Sounds great,” she said,

her jaw aching from holding a fake smile.

“Great.” Mr. DaVinci rushed out of her office.
Putting a gentle hand over her racing heart,

Felicity felt the beats slow as calm determination
filled her. Mr. DaVinci had thrown down the
gauntlet, and she had no problem picking it up. She
worked well under pressure. The times people gave
her the worst odds were the times when she rose up
and left them gaping after her.

She would make Kade Kincaid happy, because

that was her job. But as she bent and picked up the
precious glass, she couldn’t banish the thought that
he was the biggest jerk she’d ever met.

Purchase HERE or read for FREE in KU

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Chance Groom.

T H E S E C O N D C H A N C E G R O O M

ould he show up tonight?

It’d

been

the

worst

day.

Cassidy’s best friend, Anthony Kincaid, had lost his
mother to cancer and it was now only a matter of
hours after the funeral.

She’d stood next to her father at the graveside

service  and  watched  Anthony  crumble  into  sobs.
They  were  only  sixteen,  but  Anthony  had  always
seemed  more  stoic  than  any  sixteen-year-old  she
knew.  He’d  always  been  the  one  to  calm  her  over
her own family problems.

Nervously, she flicked on her flashlight and

opened the book in front of her. It wouldn’t do to
worry over Anthony. When she and her father left
the Kincaid house after paying their respects to the
family earlier that day, Anthony had taken her
hand, squeezed it, his eyes glassy and said, "I’ll be

there tonight."

All of her wanted nothing more than to hold

him.  Wanted  to  take  his  pain.  Wanted  to  be  there
for  him.  They’d  known  each  other  for  two  years.
She’d  met  Anthony  when  she’d  accidentally
crossed  into  Kincaid-land  without  knowing  it  and
he’d suddenly shown up and threatened to boot her
off his property.

She’d been thinking he was for real, until she’d

seen the joke in his eyes. It was hard to explain it,
once she’d first stared into those chocolate, amber
eyes she’d known everything about him…or that’s
how it’d felt.

The past two years they’d gotten closer and

closer, riding together, then just hanging out. Often
she would watch him play the piano. She loved
him. Fiercely. The past year they’d been there a lot
with his mother, someone who Cassidy could say
she loved, too.

If Cassidy would have had a mother, she would

have  wanted  her  to  be  like  Ellen  Kincaid—pure
kindness.  They’d  played  board  games  and  eaten
snacks with her all year as she’d battled the cancer.
Ellen had insisted on bringing a dance instructor in
and  Cassidy  had  been  Anthony’s  partner.  Once
again, Cassidy’s heart clutched and she wondered if
Anthony would come tonight.

Of course, she wouldn’t be mad at him for not

coming. It was just what they did on Friday nights

—sat in the makeshift tree house that had been on
the property when her father had bought the place.
Usually,  they  would  watch  a  show  together  on  his
phone  or  talk.  Sometimes  they  would  hold  hands,
but  they’d  never  kissed  before.  Not  because  she
hadn’t thought about it.

For a few months now she’d been obsessed

with kissing him. What would it feel like? He had a
baby  face  other  than  just  a  thin  line  of  facial  hair
growing  in.  She’d  wanted  to  touch  his  face,  but
never  had.  She  told  him  all  the  stories  rolling
around  inside  her  head  that  she  wanted  to  write
down.  He’d  been  the  first  person  she’d  ever
considered calling a best friend.

Her father had moved her…a lot. Cassidy had

never been close to many people, just books.
Anthony only seemed to have a couple of football
friends and his brother, Kade.

Kade had been kind to her, but at times offish.

Anthony  told  her  that  Kade  was  taking  the  fact
their  mother  was  dying  hard,  who  wouldn’t?  Kade
felt  more  pressure  from  his  father.  Again,  as  the
older brother, who wouldn’t? Still, there seemed to
be  something  else  that  she  couldn’t  put  her  finger
on.

A week ago her father had mentioned it was

time  to  move  again,  and  they’d  gotten  into  a  huge
fight.  She  hated  moving.  He’d  agreed  they  could
stay  until  after  the  fall  formal  that  Anthony  had

already asked her to. She was still mad about it
enough that she’d slept in the tree house on the
sleeping bag she kept out here. When she’d woken
in the morning, Anthony had been there…staring at
her. It would have been creepy, except the look on
his face was like sunshine. "You didn’t answer your
texts,” he’d said.

Immediately, she’d gotten up, smoothed her

hair  and  climbed  out  of  the  tree  house.  "I  left  my
phone  in  my  room  when  I  rushed  out,"  she’d  told
him,  halfway  embarrassed  she  hadn’t  brushed  her
teeth  or  anything.  Not  too  embarrassed,  though.
Not with Anthony.

It was the first time he’d told her, "I’m glad

you’re fighting to stay. I want you to stay.”

At that moment, she had fallen in love with

him. Maybe it was stupid, silly, and right out of a
book, but she didn’t care.

Now here she sat, outside of that very tree

house, with her flashlight and her book, waiting.
She would wait. So what if he was late? She would
wait. If he didn’t come, he didn’t come, she told
herself trying to focus on the story.

Cassidy loved stories that had a strong love

triangle in them. Anthony unceasingly made fun of
her over this, telling her it was evident she wanted
two guys fighting over her. She wanted to tell
him…I just want you.

How could she do that? They hadn’t even

kissed yet.

Nervous butterflies thrummed into her gut.

Guilt assaulted her. She shouldn’t be thinking of
kissing him tonight. Not tonight. He’d been at his
mother’s funeral.

Cassidy’s mother had died in childbirth, so she

had no idea how hard it would be to have someone
as wonderful as Ellen and then lose her. She could
only imagine.

She stared at the pages of text she’d just read in

her book, without really reading them. Her mind
was still spinning and she checked her phone.
Anthony was forty minutes late now.

Nothing.
Unease rippled through her. Should she text

him? She didn’t want to wake him if he had fallen
asleep exhausted. She imagined him doing a face
dive into his bed after all the company and sleeping
to oblivion. How many times had she done exactly
that after moving to a new place?

That was the closest thing to dying she could

imagine—knowing no one. Not having anyone.

She heard the sound of a horse and then…he

was there. Still in black pants and a white shirt, but
his tie and suit coat were gone. Still glassy eyed,
she noted in the moonlight.

Before she knew it the book tumbled from her

fingers as she stood. Then he was there, in front of
her, looking raw and vulnerable and dangerous.

He hesitated, sucking in a breath.
Carefully, like she would approach one of her

father’s new horses, she reached out, softly putting
a hand on Anthony’s face. “Hey, Boss,” she said
softly. It was the nickname she’d given him since
he’d tried to kick her off the property.

His body tensed and he closed his eyes for a

moment before flashing them open and taking her
hand. “Hey, Poe.” She’d forced him to listen to
Edgar Allan Poe poems and the name had stuck.

Anthony’s eyes moved to her lips, then back to

her eyes. He leaned in, seeming to question if he
could kiss her.

Not waiting, she leaned forward, meeting him in

the middle.

Their lips touched and everything exploded

inside of her, like tender butterfly wings, her heart
raced and she knew she would never be the same.

His hands gripped her waist, pulling her into

him. "Cassidy,” he murmured through the kisses,
soft and light.

Pulling back she said, “We shouldn’t…I

shouldn’t kiss you tonight.”

Gently, he took her chin in his hand and traced

her lips with his thumb. “I’ve wanted to kiss you
since the day I met you.” Slowly, he leaned forward
and kissed her again.

She let him, giving in to him.
He pulled back, his desperate eyes met hers,

and  a  tear  trickled  down  his  cheek.  “She’s  gone,
Cassidy,  she’s  really  gone,”  he  sobbed.  Pulling
himself  closer  to  her,  his  pain  radiated  out,
penetrating  her  heart.  At  this  moment  she  knew…
she would never let him go.

She wanted to hold on to him forever.
Chapter 1

10 Years Later

Anthony Kincaid sat in his truck in front of

Titan  stadium,  hesitant  to  go  in  for  this  publicity
stunt today. As much as he liked the idea of helping
at-risk  kids,  he  was  just  a  bit  nervous  to  face  the
press.  Between  his  injury  last  year  and  recently
being  picked  up  as  second-string  quarterback  by
the  Titans,  the  press  wanted  the  full  story  on  him.
He’d  refused  because  the  story  wasn’t  about  him
this  year.  He  was  determined  everything  would  be
focused on his brother, Kade.

Anthony thought of Kade. Their relationship

was close, tighter than ever. Their relationship with
their father was close, too. Since Anthony’s
accident, Kade’s marriage, and the upcoming baby,
their father seemed kinder, lighter, more the father
he remembered from his youth before his mother
died.

With a sigh, Anthony stepped out of the truck

and walked toward the stadium, falling into step

with  his  brother,  who  was  chatting  with  Xavier
Newton.  Ace  Sanchez  was  out  with  an  injury,  so
technically  the  triple  threat  was  no  longer  a  thing,
but  Kade  and  Xavier  were  still  media  darlings.  He
was happy for them, most of the time. He was. It’d
been such a great experience for Anthony to move
to  Dallas,  live  with  his  bro  for  a  while,  then  buy  a
house in the Reserves next to Kade and Felicity. He
really did like the redheaded, feisty woman.

“Hey, Kade, Xavier, Anthony, over here!”
Anthony saw James Knight, owner of the

Titans,  waving  them  over.  He  stood  with  Rennen
Bradley,  the  guy  who  took  Ace’s  position,  and
Brady  Giles,  the  new  cornerback  transfer  from
New  England.  A  lot  of  testosterone  in  such  small
proximity, Anthony thought.

Mr. Knight shook all of their hands, but focused

on Anthony, plastering on a smile befitting the
rugged businessman. “Just the second-chance
quarterback I was looking for.”

Anthony tried not to roll his eyes at the

reference. He didn’t want to be a second-chance
anything; he just wanted to play the game.

James Knight’s eyes swept over all of them. “I

was just telling everyone there’s a freelance sports
reporter  with  the  Dallas  Star  who  will  be  doing
interviews  today.  She’s  just  looking  for  a  quote.”
Pointedly,  he  gestured  to  Anthony.  “Of  course
everyone  is  anticipating  what  is  to  come  for  you

this season, so if you wouldn’t mind doing an
interview with her later, that would be great.”

A jolt of adrenaline shot through him. He

wasn’t ready for the piranhas to uncover the secret
he’d been hiding. Only his agent and, of course, his
brother and father knew at this point. “I’ll give a
quote, but I’m not up for a detailed interview.”

Kade coughed. His eyes flicked toward

Anthony in a look of disapproval.

It’d been a bit tricky. Kade thought he got a say

in  everything  in  Anthony’s  life,  which  wasn’t  too
outrageous  since  he’d  been  the  one  to  convince
James  Knight  to  bring  him  onto  the  Titans.  It’d
been a win for the salary cap on Draft Day, because
Anthony  didn’t  care  if  he  only  made  the  league
minimum—not when he had the chance of drawing
closer  to  his  family,  getting  back  on  a  roster,  and
being given a year to prove himself.

“Just the quote,” Anthony said again, meeting

James Knight’s gaze.

Mr. Knight’s lip curled up a bit.
Anthony hesitated, not wanting to tick off the

owner,  but  he  wasn’t  going  to  give  in,  either.  He
wouldn’t  risk  everyone  in  Dallas  finding  out.  Not
this year. This was his brother’s year. This was the
Titans’ year to win it all and they needed hometown
support. If the press got a whiff of the thing he was
trying to cover, it would create a crap storm for the
Kincaids.  A  crap  storm  that  would  be  his  fault.

“Not today,” he repeated firmly.

Kade coughed again. “Should we go over what

we want to teach the kids?” He gestured to the
field.

It was an out Anthony wouldn’t pass up.

“Okay.” He turned to Mr. Knight, waiting to be
dismissed.

Mr. Knight frowned. “Fine, but I want an

exclusive done on you soon.”

“Sure.” Anthony took care to keep as casual as

possible  while  he  and  Kade  strode  away  from  Mr.
Knight,  walking  with  his  brother  into  the  stadium
and  then  out  into  the  beautiful  arena.  He  figured
he’d been shielded from Mr. Knight thanks to Kade
and his father getting along with him, but he could
see  how  the  older  gentleman  could  be  vicious.
Didn’t owners of pro teams have to be?

Kade stopped next to some cones and a sack of

balls on the field. No one was around, except some
staff  setting  up  the  drills.  “Listen,  I  know  I  don’t
have to tell you this, but just be careful ticking off
Mr.  Knight.  He  messes  with  your  life  when  he’s
mad at you.” He sighed and grabbed a ball, heading
out  to  throwing  distance.  “And  be  careful  of  the
press.”

Anthony’s hands snapped up to catch a pass

from  Kade,  and  he  gripped  the  ball  between  his
hands  so  hard  he  thought  it  might  pop.  Pulling  it
back,  he  sent  it  sailing  back  to  his  brother.  “You

think I need a lecture on the press? I am a Kincaid.
And I know I messed up, okay?” He glared down at
his shaking hand and squeezed it by the wrist,
hating that he was so jittery sometimes.

Kade caught the ball and put his hands up in

surrender. “Chill, it’s fine. Let’s just focus on
today.” He pumped his eyebrows at him. “Look at
those reflexes!”

Anthony scowled at him, not needing his

brother’s kid gloves. He backed up and tossed it
back quickly.

With a huff, Kade backed up and snatched it

from the air. “Okay, guess I won’t go easy on ya.”

Anthony went wider and caught the next spiral.

This was what he liked the most about being back
and on the same team with his brother: they could
just throw the ball sometimes. “I’ll be taking your
spot before you know it, bro.”

A spark lit up his brother’s eyes. He threw the

ball harder.

Anthony caught it, but it kinda knocked the

breath out of him. He laughed. His brother was
making a point.

Kade laughed too. “About time I saw that

fighting spirit in you.”

Anthony paused mid-throw. “What?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to stop whining.”
“Oh, I’m a whiner now?”
“Kinda been sounding like it.” Kade quirked his

lip up.

Anthony went farther back and laid out a spiral.

Kade  had  to  run  to  catch  it,  diving  for  it  as  he
tucked  and  rolled.  It  really  was  amazing  how  fast
and  controlled  his  brother  was.  Kade  might  have
been able to transition to a lot of other positions on
the field. Of course, he didn’t have the speed of X
or  Ace,  but  he  might  if  he  worked  to  develop  it.
Anthony laughed, and then he realized how good it
felt  to  let  go  and  just  play.  He’d  gotten  inside  his
own head lately, worrying about everything.

Kade threw a spiral at him, a bit off, not too far

away, not the kind Anthony had just thrown where
he would have to dive. Anthony took off after it,
catching it easily.

“Nice.”
Anthony turned and shot it back at him. They

were getting farther and farther apart, but it didn’t
matter—both of them were quarterbacks, used to
throwing it far.

He thought about that day, after he’d gotten

into  that  car  crash  and  Kade  had  shown  up  in
Houston.  It’d  been  an  ugly  scene  with  his  father
yelling at him. Kade had pushed their dad out of the
hospital  room,  then  sat  by  Anthony  and  had  a
bonding  moment.  He  thought  about  how  he  had
confessed to his brother that he missed just playing
catch together as kids.

Kade shot the football back at him, still

spreading wider. They were almost half a field apart
now, but their eyes met and Kade’s face lit up with
a big, goofy grin as he punched the air. “Kincaids!”

It was something his father had always done to

them when they were on the field and it was go
time. This was where he was meant to be. He might
not understand how his life had ended up here, but
he was here nevertheless, playing with his bro
again. He pushed aside all his insecurity, doubt, and
fear, and he pushed his fist into the air. “Kincaids!”
he yelled back.

“Hey!”
Both brothers turned and Anthony saw

Brandon Walker, affectionately known by the fans
and team as Scar, walking toward them.

Scar wasn’t Anthony’s favorite person. He was

third-string quarterback and had been pretty vocal
about crying nepotism in regards to Anthony being
on the team. Granted, Scar always got a lot of
leeway because he was an ex–Navy SEAL and had
the presence of a warrior to boot.

Scar went to Kade, who fist-bumped him.

“Glad you finally showed up,” Kade teased.

Anthony couldn’t hear what Scar said back, but

Kade roared with laughter. The guy could trash-
talk; that was the truth.

Scar gave Anthony a nod. Anthony gave a half

wave and turned to check out the field.

It looked like Ace Sanchez’s sister was helping

here today. She was talking with the girl who
organized the event, the latter holding a baby on
her hip. Was that Teo Parata’s kid, the new guy? He
knew Teo’s wife had passed the previous year, but
why had he brought his kid?

It was hard not to notice Hailey Knight, James’s

daughter, prancing onto the field toward the other
women. She was cute, not that Anthony cared
about any kind of relationship at the moment. He’d
put women on the back burner for now, choosing to
concentrate on football.

Anthony turned back to Kade, who leaned back

and released a perfect spiral to Anthony without
breaking conversation with Scar.

A stampede of kids thundered onto the field,

yelling, “Zeus!”

Anthony met Kade’s eyes, and they shared a

smile before Kade disappeared in the crowd.

One kid pulled at Anthony’s shirt. “You’re

Zeus’s brother, aren’t you?”

Anthony laughed, savoring the desire to teach

these kids. This was really the best part of their
jobs, when they could give back. It was good to
remember that. “Yes, I am.”

The woman with the kid on her hip walked

toward  them,  holding  a  clipboard  and  looking
official.  She  held  a  whistle  to  her  lips  and  blew  it
loudly.  “Okay,  kids,  when  you  hear  the  whistle,  it
will be time to rotate stations.”

Anthony pulled his eyes away from the woman

and picked up another football, ready for the first
group.

“Still can’t stop yourself from the cheerleader

addiction?”

There was a brief lag as Anthony registered the

familiar voice. His heart stopped, and he turned
slowly, uncertain whether he was just hearing
things.

Cassidy Stone stood next to him with her arms

crossed,  her  honey-blonde  hair  still  flowing  down
her  shoulders  as  it  had  done  in  high  school.  She
wasn’t  giving  him  the  hero-worship  look  she  used
to give him from the sidelines, although she still had
those  Cleopatra  eyes  that  had  always  mesmerized
him.

“Cassidy?” he asked, like she was a mythical

being that had appeared out of thin air in front of
him.

Their eyes held and he thought about all that

had happened between them, all those years ago.
Truthfully, he’d thought about it so many times,
even looked her up a few years ago to discover she
was a famous writer for the magazine Elite Athletes
based out of Florida.

Her lips turned up, not exactly in a smile, but a

tight,  controlled  assessment  of  him.  “I’m  the
freelance  reporter  assigned  to  get  some  statements
from  you  guys  and  write  a  puff  article  about  this

event. Lucky me.” Her piercing stare took his
breath away.

The football slipped out of his hands. His mouth

went dry. Reflexively, he looked at her ring finger,
which  was  bare.  “I  heard  you  were  engaged,”  he
blurted  out  before  he  could  stop  himself.  He’d
remembered  someone  mentioning  it.  Kade?  His
father?  He  tried  to  remember  when  he’d  heard  it.
Maybe last year after his injury.

Looking down at the fumbled ball, then back to

him, she shook her head and pursed her lips. “None
of your business, I don’t think.”

Another whistle blew, followed by someone

yelling to gather for instructions.

Cassidy glanced at the group, then back to him.

“If you just want to give me a quick quote,” she
said curtly.

Anthony watched all the kids and players start

to  gather  to  Mr.  Knight,  but  he  was  glued  to  this
spot.  He  turned  to  her,  and  the  past  washed  over
him,  thinking  of  the  day  he’d  buried  his  mother.
The first night he’d ever kissed her.

More memories assaulted him, including the

one where he’d watched as she and her father had
left, dust kicking up from the gravel as he stood
there. “I’d rather talk, Poe,” he said softly, using his
old nickname for her.

Anger flared in Cassidy’s blue eyes. “Don’t call

me that. If you don’t want to give me a quote,

that’s fine. I’ll interview your brother first.” She
rushed away from him. “Kade!”

Kade turned, and a stupid grin swept over his

face. “Cassidy Stone?” He opened his arms.

She laughed as they met and fell into a hug.
All the old jealousy flared through him, but only

for a second. He still could not believe she had
been standing in front of him.

Happiness burst into him. Cassidy Stone was

here … and she wasn’t wearing a ring.

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A BO UT T H E A UT H O R

Taylor  Hart  has  always  been  drawn  to  a  good  love  triangle,
hot chocolate and long conversations with new friends. Writing
has always been a passion that has consumed her dreams and
forced  her  to  sit  in  a  trance  for  long  hours,  completely
obsessed  with  people  that  don’t  really  exist.  Taylor  would
have  been  a  country  star  if  she  could  have  carried  a  tune—
maybe in the next life. Find Taylor at:

www.taylorhartbooks.com

│ Twitter: @taylorfaithhart │

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