Yes, Darling

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

Yes, Darling

AKER

ROCKTON

winced at the piercing creak of the attic

door and braced himself for an avalanche of discarded items
to land at his feet, but none came. The books, piles of
summer clothes, old shoes, toys, linens, and hat boxes were
simply packed too tightly in the small entrance for anything
to tumble anywhere. He sighed deeply and stepped over the
clutter facing him, uncertainly placing a foot on the first step
of a stairway to his right.

I had a lot more room when I was eight, he thought as he

turned  his  broad  shoulders  sideways  and  struggled  up  the
narrow attic steps. If he were moving more quickly to farcical
music, smiling, and waving a top hat ahead of himself, he’d
be  making  an  extravagant  entrance  on  a  Vaudeville  stage,
but  as  it  was,  Baker  was  trying  his  best  not  to  bang  his
knees or shins or head in the awkward space.

When he exited into the attic proper, the first things he

noticed  were  the  heat,  the  cobwebs,  and  mustiness.  God
knows  what  I’m  breathing  up  here.  He  shuddered  and
reached  for  the  chain  that  would  switch  on  the  bare  bulb
hanging from a rafter. After giving the chain a quick tug, the
bulb  flared  to  life,  though  not  enough  to  reach  into  the  far
corners of the space. Glancing around nervously, he watched
and listened for any signs of creepy life.

Littered around his feet were piles of old, once-fancy

outfits: long, elegant gloves; taffeta dresses; now dingy
patent-leather shoes; and hat boxes without lids, their

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

former occupants scattered hither and yon across the floor.
There were also remnants of his sister’s baby dolls—an odd,
disembodied leg and a doll head with mangled hair and one
eye that wouldn’t open, while the other seemed to follow his
every movement from a shadowed corner.

“Baker!”
Jesus! His heart stuttered at the sound of his mother’s

voice just below him in the closet doorway.

“Y-yes, Mama?”
“You find them, dear?”
“I’m looking, Mama.” Baker eyed the floor beams

apprehensively.  Are  those  gonna  hold  me?  He  hated  the
balancing  act  he’d  have  to  accomplish  to  reach  the  box  he
was  after—the  one  he  now  noticed  far  across  the  room,
under  the  eaves.  Why  the  hell  is  it  over  there?  It  should  be
sitting right at the top of these stairs. He tried to imagine his
mother hauling that box up the stairs, but he realized she’d
probably roped some other big, clumsy boob into risking his
life.

He’d agreed because his father was busy and Baker was

a good son. He couldn’t imagine what his mother could have
promised a neighbor to do it. Probably food. She’s a great
cook.

“You need help?” she called from below.
Baker held his breath and stepped on the first floor

joist,  trying  his  best  to  keep  his  big  foot  from  slipping  off
onto  the  insulation  between  and  possibly  cracking  through
the ceiling below.

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“The Darlings are here.”
What good will Mr. Darling do me? Baker managed a

smile as he imagined the two of them crashing through the
ceiling and, with Darling’s added bulk, continuing on to the
first floor. That’d put a damper on the party.

“Coby’s a bit smaller than you, honey.”
He took another step and grinned, letting out his breath

in relief. One advantage to his taller frame was his wingspan.
He bent at the waist and reached for all he was worth, trying
to snag the box marked Xmas Tree Stuff with his middle
finger.

“They brought a big dish of that oven-baked macaroni

you love.”

“I’m fine, Ma—wait, did you say Coby is here?” he

asked, teetering for a moment before regaining his balance.

“What, dear?” Her voice sounded farther away, as if she

were leaving the bedroom as she spoke.

Coby’s here? Why the fuck is Coby here?
Baker got a grip on the box and dragged it toward him,

stirring up a colony of dust bunnies. He lifted it and tried to
simply follow his footsteps backward and escape the stuffy
attic.

“Got it!” he shouted.
“Good job, BB,” said a deep, male voice directly behind

him.

“Huh?” Baker tried to turn, realized he didn’t know

where to place his feet and nearly fell over backward and

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

down the stairs, but luckily, Coby Darling caught him in his
arms and steadied him.

“You okay, dude?”
“Y-yeah,” Baker managed as his heart raced. “Uh… let’s

get out of here, huh?” He turned carefully to face his old
friend.

“Watch the light,” Coby warned as he reached up to

move the bulb away from Baker’s head just in time, causing
the  light  to  swing  back  and  forth  between  them—light,
shadow,  light,  shadow.  Baker  just  stared,  examining  the
man’s  face  in  the  changing  light,  Coby’s  pupils  shrinking
slightly every time the blub swung back between them.

Mama had been right. Coby was a bit smaller than

him—an  inch  shorter  and  not  as  broad  in  the  shoulders,
with  more  of  a  slender,  runner’s  build—and  probably  could
have  navigated  the  attic  much  easier,  but  he  was  a  lot
stronger than Baker remembered.

Everything else was the same: his hair the familiar,

unruly tangle of light brown waves, ending just at the bottom
of his ears, his eyes a deep brown and framed by long,
curling eyelashes, his grin teasing, and a light dusting of
facial hair.

“Uh… you go down first,” Baker said. “I’ll get the light

and pass you this cursed box.”

Coby laughed. “Deal.”
They made it down the stairs without destroying each

other and stumbled through the closet doorway and into the
second-floor guestroom.

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“So, uh… what are you doing here?” Baker asked as he

set the decorations on the floor.

“Tricia, my evil stepmom, gave me an ultimatum, and I

caved.”

“Your stepmother is not evil.”
Coby laughed. “I know.” His eyes narrowed as his gaze

slid up and down Baker. “You look good, BB.”

Baker grinned. “Uh—”
Coby reached up and ran his palm over Baker’s head. “I

like your hair super short like this. It tickles when I touch it,
and somehow it looks even blacker, which sets off those
baby blues of yours. Good choice.”

Jesus! He’s flirting with me. “Uh—”
“Baker?” His mother’s voice drifted up the stairs from

the first floor now, coming between them. My God, she has a
set of lungs on her. “Did you find them, honey, the lights and
the bulbs?”

“Yes, Mama,” he answered, too softly for her to hear,

never taking his eyes off Coby.

“Baker?” she shouted again.
His old… friend took a step closer to him, straightened

Baker’s collar, and brushed Lord knows what out of his hair.
“Why don’t I take these down while you collect yourself?”
Coby asked, his voice deep and husky.

“I… d-don’t need… collecting.”
“Really? You look a bit overheated to me.”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

Baker watched him heft the box of decorations into his

arms and trot down the stairs to join the rest of the guests.
Once he lost sight of him, Baker sat heavily on the bed,
falling on his back and staring at the ceiling as the room
spun around him.

Talk about a Christmas miracle: Coby’s back in town.

AKER

made his way downstairs and slowly worked through

the gathering of relatives and friends who had come to his
parents’ for dinner, drinks, and decorating—a group effort of
festivities.

“There you are, Big Bad,” Elaina Lacey said, taking his

arm and pressing her abundant breasts against him. “I
wondered where you’d gotten to.”

“Please don’t call me that, El. I don’t play anymore.”

Baker  searched  the  area  for  Coby’s  tousled  locks,  but  he
didn’t  spot  him.  From  where  they  stood  in  the  hallway,  he
could see into the living room, part of the dining room, and
some of the kitchen.

“But you do coach. Is the team looking good?” she

asked.

Baker blinked at her in surprise. “I didn’t know you

followed high school football, El.”

“Of course I do! Whatever gave you that idea?”
Oh, maybe the fact that I’ve known you for fifteen years,

and you’ve never shown any interest in the game.

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“They’re good boys. Hard workers,” he said, tugging his

arm free. “Did you happen to see Coby pass this way?”

Elaina grimaced and shook her head. “Nope.” Her eyes

narrowed. “I’m surprised he came home.”

“Oh yeah? Why?” Baker asked as he continued to scan

the rooms. His pulse raced as he caught a flash of light
brown waves beyond them in the kitchen.

“Well, he’s been away for years—”
“About one year.”
“—and he left town in disgrace.”
Baker looked into her wide, innocent blue eyes and was

surprised to find she had hold of his arm again. His fingers
were starting to tingle. “Coby got a full-time teaching
position at the University in Richmond. What’s disgraceful
about that?”

“You were his best friend, Baker. You know as well as I

do the rumors that started about him being a… homosexual
and all.” Her eyes narrowed a bit. “In fact, I’m surprised you
didn’t guess…. Anyway,” she said, waving a dismissive hand
and tossing her hair, “after that, what was he going to do but
leave town, right?”

“Condon would have been lucky to have him,” he said,

not even trying to soften his tone. “He didn’t need to leave.”
Maybe he did, thanks to me.

“Baker, could you give Coby a hand with those lights?”

his mother asked as she walked up to them. “They’re a
tangled mess.”

“Yes, Mama. Where is he?”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“Let him go, child,” she said, slapping at Elaina’s hand.

“You’re ’bout cutting off his circulation.” Elaina released him
immediately, her face turning a bit pink.

“Sorry, Mrs. Brockton,” she said sheepishly.
“Coby’s on the back porch, honey.” His mother patted

Baker’s hand, and he fled. “We’re gonna be eating soon as
your daddy gets back here with your sister,” she shouted
after him. Baker excused his way through the hallway to the
kitchen and then onto the back porch.

It was darker and much colder out there. Through the

bank  of  windows  he  faced,  he  could  see  beyond  into  the
backyard, thanks to the motion lights attached to the house.
For a moment, Baker wondered what was moving out there
to  set  them  off,  but  then  he  spotted  several  people  bundled
in their winter coats and huddled together at the old picnic
table,  smoking.  They  stomped  their  booted-feet  in  the  snow
to stay warm while they indulged their addiction.

“Looking for me?”
Startled, Baker looked to his right and found Coby

sitting on the carpet, a large chaotic mass of blinking,
multicolored Christmas lights in his lap.

“Uh… Mama said you could use some help?”
Coby stared up at Baker for several moments. “Sure.

Have  a  seat.”  Coby  smiled,  and  Baker  nearly  tripped  before
taking  a  seat  on  the  floor  in  front  of  him.  He  grabbed  a
separate collection of lights and began searching for the end
of  the  string.  While  he  worked,  he  glanced  at  Coby  and  the
way the lights bathed his face in festive, colorful warmth.

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“Is the tree up yet?” Coby asked.
“I didn’t notice,” he said.
Though alone on the back porch, the muffled voices of

the dinner guests and some holiday tune Baker couldn’t
name drifted out to them, making them feel part of it all.

“So Elaina seems as into you as ever,” Coby ventured.
“She eased up on me a couple months ago when Ed

Paukett proposed, but that fell through just last week.”

“Why?”
“I think he caught her making out with one of his

potential groomsmen. Not sure.”

Baker grinned in delight upon locating the plug end of

his lights and quickly inserted it into the outlet next to
Coby’s. The string of light came alive.

“Nicely done, sir.”
“Thanks,” Baker laughed. His lights were white and

added an ethereal element to the glow bathing them as they
worked. “So… you came back because your mother made
you, huh?”

“Hardly. I came back for you, BB.” Baker’s fingers froze,

and he lifted his gaze to Coby’s. “Didn’t you know I would?”

Baker concentrated on his knot of lights. “I thought you

made things fairly clear when you left last year.”

Coby sighed. “I was angry, BB, you know that.”
“I haven’t changed, C—”
“No?”
Baker hesitated. “I… I’ve missed you.”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“Well, that’s something.”
“Look! You broke it off. You decided to leave the state.

And you did it because you didn’t think I could be the man
you  said  you  needed  me  to  be.  Don’t  stroll  back  in  here
expecting  me  to  have  had  some  revelation  about  giving  up
everything  I  have  for  you.”  The  moment  he  said  it,  he
regretted  it.  Even  in  the  dim  light  he  saw  the  wince  of  pain
around Coby’s eyes. He blinked and it was gone.

In the ensuing silence, a distant chorus of “White

Christmas” drifted out to them, and little progress was made
with the lights. Then Coby whispered, “I love you.”

“Coby—”
“More importantly, I came back because I know you love

me.”

“Ahh! I give up!” Baker yanked his string of lights free of

the outlet and got to his feet. “This is hopeless.”

“W-what are you doing?”
“Going shopping.” He stared down into Coby’s eyes.

“Wanna come with?”

HEY

grabbed their coats from the hall closet and rushed

out the front door, running right into Baker’s father and
younger sister.

“Hello, Mr. Brockton,” Coby said.
“Where you off to, boys?”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“Coby and I are picking up new lights for the tree,

Daddy.”

“Hi, Coby,” Bethany singsonged.
“Good to see you again, Bethany.”
In the harsh porch light, Baker could see the color rise

up his sister’s neck. Oh, for Pete’s sake. She tossed her long
fire-red ringlets coquettishly. Apparently she hadn’t been
privy to the rumors about Coby. Or she had and decided she
was just the cure for him. Baker seethed in silence.

“How’s the degree coming?” Coby asked her as Mr.

Brockton hustled past him into the warm house, carrying
Bethany’s suitcase.

“I can’t really settle on one thing yet. There’s so much to

learn… and do.” She smiled wistfully.

“I remember,” Coby laughed. Turning to Baker, he said,

“We better get going if we’re going to get back in time to snag
some dinner.”

“Boys, why aren’t you wearing your hats?” Mrs.

Brockton asked, suddenly appearing in the doorway. “Your
daddy says you boys are off to Target?”

“Yes, Mama.”
“Pick me up some marshmallows… mini marshmallows.

I need them for the sweet potatoes.”

“I’ll remember, ma’am,” Coby said.
“Good boy. And be careful on those roads, ya hear?”
“Yes, Mama.” Baker snagged Coby’s collar and dragged

him off the porch and toward Baker’s SUV. He revved the
engine and had the car hurtling forward before Coby could

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

buckle himself in properly. The car fishtailed as they turned
onto the main road off his parents’ property.

“Any particular reason you’re driving like a maniac?”

Coby asked, a quiver in his voice as he gripped the handle
above his door and braced his palm against the dash.

Baker glared ahead of them, his knuckles growing pale

on the steering wheel. “I couldn’t breathe in there.” He took
several deep breaths to calm the panic rising within him, a
panic born from the truth of Coby’s words… I know you love
me.

Lord, he did. There was no other explanation for how

miserable Baker had been since Coby’d left town… left the
state. He’d walked through this past year in a fog, unable to
get Coby off his mind. The nights were the worst, lying
awake and remembering their time together, reaching out to
his side and stroking the cool sheet where Coby’s warm body
should have been.

After his mother’s death, a sixteen-year-old Coby and

his  father  had  moved  to  town  to  be  closer  to  his
grandparents. Baker remembered the first time he’d spotted
him in the locker room as they suited up to take the field—
and later in the shower room. Baker had tried desperately to
avert  his  eyes  but  eventually  just  shut  off  his  hot  water,
when  that  wasn’t  enough.  He  allowed  the  icy  spray  to  calm
his  body,  lest  the  other  players  take  note  of  his  interest  in
the new guy.

Coby was lanky and thin as a rail back then, so much

so that Baker had wondered how he’d made the team. Surely
he’d be destroyed on the field should anyone hit him. But

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

the  coach  wasn’t  crazy,  because  that  first  year  Coby  had
ridden  the  bench  more  often  than  not.  However,  over  the
next two years, he’d bulked up… a bit, his muscles growing
rangy,  gradually  looking  more  like  the  man  he’d  soon
become. His large sensitive brown eyes had drawn Baker in
immediately, and his hair? His hair was the same, maybe a
tad longer then. Coby had a habit of tossing his—

“What are you smiling about?”
“Oh… nothing,” Baker mumbled, focusing again on the

road.

The two of them had become fast friends. Coby helped

him  with  history  and  English  papers,  while  he  helped  Coby
in  shop.  They  examined  the  finer  points  of  Young
Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles together, often had dinner
at the Brocktons’—Coby’s father wasn’t much of a cook—and
studied  at  each  other’s  homes.  The  first  time  Baker  made
Coby laugh himself to tears had felt like magic.

Then came the one and only time the two of them had

double dated: cousins Bonita and Idoya Pavia, two beautiful
young  local  girls,  who  each  got  a  good-night  at  their  doors
and a chaste peck on the cheek. After that he and Coby had
driven to a secluded  clearing in Ardent Park and made out,
their hands diving into the fronts of each other’s pants and
fumbling  to  a  stop  after  quickly  bringing  each  other  off.  He
remembered  the  look  in  Coby’s  eyes  that  night,  a  dawning,
the  realization,  an  awakening,  and  Baker  knew  the  same
wonder resided in his own gaze.

Coby eventually went to Condon U, and Baker, given his

interest in and skill with engines, started working at his

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

Uncle  Mitch’s  garage.  During  those  years,  every  spare
moment they could steal was spent with each other, always
in  secret.  Baker  took  business  management  classes  on  and
off,  dated  a  girl  here  and  there,  assistant-coached  the
football team when he could—his high school star had only
slightly  dimmed—and  he  gradually  found  himself  in  a
position to take over his uncle’s business.

He’d earned his business and mechanical skills with

plenty of hard work, while Coby’s hard work earned him a
teaching degree in history… and a job offer in Richmond.

“Now you’re frowning. Baker, what’s up?”
“I’m just thinking… remembering.” He glanced at Coby,

sitting so close, close enough to reach out and touch. “We’re
almost  there.”  Coby  nodded  and  stared  out  his  window  at
the  snow-covered  trees  on  their  right.  To  their  left  was  a
sheer  drop-off  protected  by  a  guardrail  that,  in  all  honesty,
looked  too  inconsequential  to  keep  any  driver  from  the
oblivion beyond.

Before that job offer last year, Baker had already

memorized  the  first,  last,  and  every  time  in  between  that
they’d  made  heart-racing,  breath-stealing  love.  Perhaps  he
sensed  their  paths  were  about  to  diverge  even  more
drastically.  He  knew  he  couldn’t  give  Coby  what  he  wanted
most:  to  be  acknowledged  as  something  more  than  his  best
childhood friend. In their final passionate moments together,
they’d  both  cried  silently  as  Baker  released  Coby,
presumably  for  the  last  time,  Coby’s  angry,  heartbroken
words following Baker out the door.

“BB?”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

Coby had given up hiding and stopped dating women

long  before  leaving  town,  and  the  rumors  picked  up  about
him,  some  even  tailing  him  to  Virginia.  Baker’s  lying
continued,  and  only  by  recalling  the  scent  of  Coby’s  hair,
how his skin felt beneath his fingertips, the sounds he made,
the  responsive  quivers  and  gasps,  and  his  flavor,  could  he
perform  with  a  woman—usually  some  bar  bunny  he’d  pick
up on weekends.

“Baker!”
A massive white puff of fur with coal-black eyes and

equally black nose had materialized in the road ahead,
virtually indistinguishable from the winter wonderland
surrounding them, though the lolling pink tongue helped.

Baker slammed on the brakes; the car skidded violently,

but he turned into it, and they came to an undamaged halt
on the right side of the road.

“Madeline! Madel—Oh thank God!” A man and woman

ran from a grouping of trees on the right, terror etched on
their faces. The woman fell to her knees next to the
absconding Great Pyrenees and embraced her.

“Are you all right?” the man asked as Baker and Coby

exited the car and rushed over to them. Baker was surprised
his legs could support him they were trembling so much.

“We’re sorry,” the woman said. “She just took off.

Snapped the leash. She’s… she’s never done that before.”

“We’re fine,” Coby said, glancing at Baker, who simply

nodded. “She probably spotted a fox or something.” The
woman clung to her dog and then let her hands roam over

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

Madeline, checking for injuries. Baker found he wanted to do
the same to Coby, but he resisted the urge.

“She’s fine, honey,” the man soothed as he took hold of

the dog’s collar and began leading her off the road. “S-sorry,
guys.” They waved good-bye, and Baker watched the couple
disappear back into the trees with the precious, if
precocious, Madeline.

He and Coby stood there a moment, then looked at each

other.

“Your mission, if you choose to accept it…,” Coby began.
Baker grinned. “Marshmallows and Christmas lights?”
Coby nodded. “Mini marshmallows.”

HEN

they reached Target, it had begun to snow lightly, the

flakes  vanishing  as  they  became  lost  in  the  glare  of  the
parking  lot  lights,  then  reappearing  when  they  reached  eye
level.  They  rushed  into  the  store  and  immediately  parted,
Coby going for the marshmallows and Baker for the lights. It
was a week before Christmas, but the store was surprisingly
unpopulated  by  frantic  shoppers.  Good  for  us,  Baker
thought.

Reuniting at the checkout, they were back on the road

within ten minutes. A record if Baker had ever set one. For
the first time in eighteen or so months, Baker and Coby
laughed together as they tore down the road.

“How’s the garage doing?” Coby asked. “You were adding

bays when I left.”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“Good… really good,” Baker said, nodding. “We got those

done  in  a  few  weeks,  and  given  our  current  weather
conditions,  people  are  coming  in  for  engine  checkups  right
about  now.  I’ve  even  hired  two  more  mechanics.”  Baker
smiled  broadly  and  looked  at  Coby.  “One  of  them  is  Bonita
Pavia.”

“You’re shitting me!”
“Nope. She’s awesome. The guys are twisted up in knots

over her in coveralls.”

They laughed again, but when their mirth petered out,

they rode in silence until the Brockton place came into view.
There was a lot to say, but neither of them currently had the
guts to begin. Baker pulled the car up to the house and shut
off the engine. The two of them sat, staring straight ahead,
and watched the snow falling around them as the cooling
engine ticked.

I can’t let him go again, but—
“How long are you in town for?” Baker asked.
“For sure until after New Year’s.”
Baker beamed. “Really? That’s gr—that’s good.”
Coby sighed deeply. “Listen, Baker… I’ve applied for a

position at my alma mater.”

Baker’s heart stuttered. “Y-yeah?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So you could move back to town… permanently?”
It took a few moments for Coby to say, “It depends, BB.”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

Baker gritted his teeth, unlocked his seatbelt, and threw

open his door before hopping out of the car and stalking
toward the house.

“Baker… honey?” his mother called as he stormed in

and  walked  past  the  dining  room  where  everyone  was
already  seated  and  eating.  He  didn’t  stop  until  he  was
through  the  kitchen,  out  the  back  door,  and  off  the  porch.
Coby  would  have  to  pause  to  collect  their  purchases  and
probably  get  waylaid  by  his  mother  while  passing  them  off
before  he’d  be  able  to  reach  him,  which  gave  Baker  time  to
try to get his temper under control.

Another ultimatum! He came back to test me again, test

how much I love him. Son of a bitch!

Baker stomped around the backyard, circling the big

oak closest to the house. He was torn between wanting Coby
and  fear  of  the  unknown,  of  what  his  life  as  a  business
owner,  coach,  former  football  star,  and  good  son  would
become  if  he  began  living  honestly,  living  as  an  openly  gay
man.  An  openly  gay  man  in  love.  He  was  out  there  long
enough  to  lose  some  steam,  to  begin  to  worry  that  Coby
wasn’t going to come after him. Do I want him to? Finally he
heard  the  porch  door  open  hesitantly,  and  his  fury  rushed
back at him.

“Go away! I can’t talk to you right now,” he declared.

“You’ll talk to me when I say, boy.” His mother’s voice

was firm, and it stopped him in his tracks on the other side
of the tree. He slowly peered around the trunk to see her
standing in the yard. Bundled in her navy blue parka, red

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

hat, scarf, boots, and mittens, she glared at him as
snowflakes accumulated on her. She was a tiny woman, but
the set of her jaw and her lips pressed into a humorless line
told him he’d better do as she said. “Come here, Baker.”

“Yes, Mama.”

“Tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

He grimaced. “I’m not a baby, Mama.”

“I know, I know. You’re a grown man.”

Baker sniffed and finally let the tears flow. “Grown men

don’t cry, though, do they?”

“Sure they do, when they’re scared… or when their

hearts are breakin’. They cry with the best of them.”

“I’m so tired, Mama.” Baker looked up at the winter sky,

watched the white flakes falling from that seemingly infinite
velvety blackness. He felt like he was coming apart. “I’ve
been lying and hiding for so long. I’m scared what will
happen if—” His voice broke. “God, I love… I love—”

“You love him,” she finished for her son. His mother

remained silent for a few moments as Baker stared into her
eyes in disbelief.

“But—”

“No,” she warned, “‘I love him’ is all you need to

remember. Everything else be damned.”

“What?”

Baker thought he could detect a bit of color rising to her

face. “Your Daddy and I aren’t blind, baby.” She smiled

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

crookedly. “Now I’m not gonna lie and say we weren’t worried
about,  uh…  things,  but  we  know  what  being  in  love  looks
like.  He  told  me  to  stay  out  of  it,  but  I  just  couldn’t  watch
you  struggling  any  longer.”  He  blinked  at  her  a  few  times,
and  she  reached  up  and  caressed  his  face  with  a  cold,  red
mitten.  Baker  smiled  and  hugged  her,  lifting  her  off  the
ground and causing her to giggle like a young girl.

“W-where’s Coby?” he asked, setting her back on her

feet and glancing toward the house.

“I left him putting the marshmallows on the sweet

potatoes.”  She  turned  to  go  back  inside.  “Now,  I’m  gonna
send him out to you with some cocoa. I’ve already put aside
plates for you both.” She paused by the back door. “Believe
me, it wasn’t easy with your Uncle Mitch circling the turkey.”
She  opened  the  porch  door  and  started  up  the  steps.
“They’re  covered  in  foil  in  the  fridge.  Oh,  and  Coby’s
stepmom  made  a  separate  dish  of  her  mac  and  cheese  just
for you—”

“Does… do they know?”

“How you and Coby feel about each other?” He nodded.

“Of course, silly. He told his parents.” She fixed him with a
stare that made Baker grimace, then disappeared through
the door.

While he waited, he busied himself scraping the

accumulated snow off the picnic table, and Coby soon
emerged carrying two mugs of cocoa in his hands and a
winter cap in his teeth.

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“Your mother told me to make you put this on,” he

mumbled around it. Baker promptly did as instructed, took
one  of  the  mugs,  and  then  he  and  Coby  sat  right  next  to
each  other,  butts  on  the  tabletop,  boots  on  the  bench  seat.
For  twenty  minutes,  they  sipped  their  cocoa  and  tried  to
hear the snow fall.

Then Baker heard someone—probably Bethany—begin

playing  the  piano  from  inside  the  house,  and  a  chorus  of
voices  began  singing  “O  Come,  All  Ye  Faithful.”  When  the
Brockton  Family  and  Guests  Singers  moved  on  to  “Silver
Bells,” Baker got up and extended a hand to Coby, who took
it  after  looking  into  Baker’s  eyes  and  realizing  he  wasn’t
worried about anyone seeing them.

Baker swept Coby into his arms, and they began to

sway  slowly.  “Sometimes  I’m  terrified  by  how  much  you
mean  to  me,”  Baker  whispered  against  his  ear.  “I’m  not
claiming  to  be  suddenly  fearless  about…  other  things,  but
this  past  year  has  shown  me  I’m  no  good  without  you.”  He
felt  Coby  shiver.  “Too  cold?”  Baker  stopped  dancing  and
leaned back to look into Coby’s eyes. “We can go inside.”

“I’m… I’m not c-cold, Baker.” Coby searched his face.

“You really want me to come home?”

“Yes, Coby. Come home to me.”

Letting himself be swallowed by the chocolate depths of

Coby’s gaze, Baker kissed him. For how long, he didn’t know,
but this was no secluded clearing, no dark, secret room. He
was standing in the backyard of his childhood home, kissing
the man he loved, and he thought his heart might just burst

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

as he reveled in the familiar, warm response Coby gave him.
It wasn’t until they heard a distant, angry “Well, fuck me!”
and a slamming door that they parted.

Baker collected the mugs in one hand and held Coby’s

hand  with  the  other  as  they  went  back  inside.  The  house
crackled  with  activity:  clearing  the  dinner  table,  some  folks
making  their  way  out  the  front  door,  Bethany  still  playing
Christmas  tunes  while  a  drunken  Uncle  Mitch  warbled
beside her, Mr. Darling opening the new lights, Mrs. Darling
unwrapping  cherished  Christmas  bulbs  as  Coby’s  seven-
year-old  sister,  Lula,  carefully  attached  tree  hooks  to  them,
and  Baker’s  dad  making  sure  the  tree  was  straight  by
adjusting it a half inch this way or that.

Baker set down the mugs and relieved his mother of the

heavy turkey platter as she entered the kitchen. “Mama, why
don’t you have a seat while Coby and I do the dishes?”

“Nonsense, baby. You two haven’t even eaten yet.”

Coby gently took her arm and steered her to a kitchen

chair. “You just tell us what to do.”

After she gave in, Baker and Coby made quite the team

as they put away the leftovers, per Mrs. Brockton’s
instructions, and got the dishwasher loaded.

“Mama, where’s Elaina? I’d thought she would have

stayed to help.”

Baker thought he spotted a grin on his mother’s face

when  she  explained,  “Oh,  she  took  off  outta  here  like  a  cat
with  her  tail  on  fire.  Didn’t  get  a  chance  to  ask  her”—she
glanced  at  the  two  of  them—“but  by  the  color  creeping  up

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

your necks, I’d guess she saw something in the backyard she
didn’t like.” She covered her mouth as she giggled, and the
two of them grinned but kept their mouths shut.

ATER

, when the house was quiet and dark, save for the

lights  now  adorning  the  Christmas  tree,  Baker  and  Coby
snuggled  up  on  the  living  room  sofa.  With  their  stomachs
full,  belts  and  pants  undone,  and  socked  feet  up  on  the
coffee  table,  they  lost  themselves  in  the  silent,  twinkling
beauty  before  them.  Over  the  next  few  days,  gifts  would
begin  to  pile  up  beneath  the  tree,  adding  to  the  colorful
magic of the house.

“I’m sorry I was such a boob about things,” Baker said

as he played with Coby’s hair.

“I knew you’d come around.”
“Really?” Baker looked down at him and grinned

skeptically. Coby nodded, a confident glint in his eyes.

“We’ve known each other for twelve or so years, BB. In

all that time, I’ve never known you to let anything or anyone
stand between you and something you want, be it the end
zone or—”

“The man I love?” They kissed, and Baker sighed. “In

this case, it was only me standing in my way, but after losing
control of the car, the fog began to clear.”

“How so?”

Yes, Darling • Dawn Kimberly Johnson

“I thought I had a handle on my life and that if I held on

tightly enough to who everyone expected me to be,
everything would be fine.”

“But?”
“The moment I lost control, I knew what mattered most

to me. All I needed in the world was in the seat next to me
screaming like a little girl.”

“Hey!”
“Shhh. Everyone’s asleep,” Baker laughed, and Coby

joined him, pressing his face into Baker’s chest to muffle his
chuckles. As their laughter died down, Baker began to hum.
He  felt  his  eyes  growing  heavy  as  he  continued  to  stroke
Coby’s hair. Having him in his arms again almost seemed too
good  to  be  true,  and  he  prayed  he  wouldn’t  wake  up
tomorrow  overfed  on  an  overstuffed  couch  alone,  with  Coby
being only a turkey-fueled dream.

“Is that ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’?” Coby

asked.

“Yep.”
“Don’t know the words, huh?”
“Not enough to give up the humming, I’m afraid.”
“Kiss me.”
“Yes, Darling.”

About the Author

AWN

IMBERLY

OHNSON

graduated from the Marshall

University  W.  Page  Pitt  School  of  Journalism  and  Mass
Communications  and  worked  as  a  copy  editor  at  a  daily
newspaper  for  eight  years.  She  enjoys  writing  just  after
waking,  after  her  characters  have  strolled  through  her
subconscious, talking to one another, making love, arguing,
working  out  their  lives  and  how  to  live  them,  working  out
their loves and how to keep them.

Visit her blog at http://kimswritingagain.wordpress.com/.
You can e-mail her at KimsWritingAgain@yahoo.com.

Published by
Dreamspinner Press
5032 Capital Circle SW
Ste 2, PMB# 279
Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the
authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Art by Paul Richmond http://www.paulrichmondstudio.com

This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is
illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon
conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No
part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the Publisher. To
request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 5032 Capital Circle SW,
Ste 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA.
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

Released in the United States of America
December 2012

eBook Edition
eBook ISBN: 978-1-62380-217-2

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