The Coming Out Series (The Coming Out Series (All 3 Books))

THE COMING OUT SERIES

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This  is  a  work  of  fiction.    Names,  characters,
places  and  incidents  are  either  the  product  of  the
author’s  imagination  or  are  used  fictitiously,  and
any  resemblance  to  the  actual  persons,  living  or
dead, business establishments, events or locales is
entirely coincidental.

Books by John Green:

The Rejected Son (Book 1 of the Coming Out
series)
The Homecoming Reunion (Book 2 of the Coming
Out series)
The Broken Dreams (Book 3 of the Coming Out
Series)
The Coming Out Series: Complete Collection (All
3 Books)

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Chapter 1

The oldest memories I have are of me and Momma
at the zoo. I must’ve only been about three or four,
but I remember holding Momma’s hand tightly, and
being fascinated at how long the giraffe’s necks
were.

“The giraffes are the guardians of the animal
kingdom,” Momma told me when I asked why their
necks were so long. “They keep an eye out for any
dangerous predators.”

I was intrigued by the idea that the animals had
their own world and society, with each of them
having a job to protect and provide for each other.
At the same time, though, their society had its own
dangers and villains, just like ours.

The villain in my life was George, my soon-to-be
step-father. Momma met George when I was just
starting Kindergarten. George was the type of guy
that always wore flannel shirts and liked to smoke

a cigar or pipe at all times. He wore a bushy
mustache and his face and hands felt like leather.

At first he was very nice to me.  I remember when
Momma  first  introduced  us.    We  met  George  at  a
large  department  store,  and  he  offered  to  buy  me
any toy I wanted in the entire store.

Since I could only get one, I wanted to make extra
sure it was just the right toy.

“Any toy?” I asked.

“Any toy,” he confirmed. I thought that George
must be rich if he could let me pick out any toy
from the entire store.

I searched the shelves over and over, returning two
or  three  times  to  certain  toys  I  liked,  trying  to
decide if one was better than the other.  I had never
had  a  chance  like  this  before,  and  wanted  to  be
extra careful to make the right decision.

Momma  didn’t  make  a  lot  of  money,  so  I  usually
only  got  toys  at  my  birthdays  or  Christmases.    It
was  rare  to  get  a  new  one  any  other  time.    But,  I

guess George was trying to buy my acceptance. If
only I knew that then.

“Come  on  now,”  Momma  prodded  when  I  was
taking  too  long  to  make  up  my  mind.    Finally  I
decided  on  a  toy  movie  projector.    It  had
cartridges  that  you  inserted  into  it,  and  it  would
project the cartoon movies onto the wall.  It made
me feel like I had my own movie theater inside my
bedroom.

They  went  on  several  more  dates  before
announcing that they were getting married.  Since I
was  so  young,  I  didn’t  really  know  what  that
meant, but I was happy for Momma.

George  had  promised  Momma  a  life  of
happiness…one  where  she  didn’t  have  to  work
anymore.  I was only five, so I didn’t realize then
how  quickly  they  were  getting  married  compared
to how long a normal engagement might last.

It  turned  out  that  Momma  and  George  got  married
in  a  hurry  because  George  was  being  relocated  at
his job.  He was an industrial mechanic, and had to

go where the work was needed.

Momma  and  George’s  wedding  was  at  the  court
house in front of a Justice of the Peace.  It was just
supposed  to  be  family,  so  I  was  surprised  to  see
another  boy  there.    He  seemed  to  be  about  twice
my  age,  with  short,  cropped  hair  that  was
completely  opposite  from  my  own.    I  had  what
Momma called a mop top.  I hated having my hair
cut,  so  Momma  just  let  it  grow  out  rather  than
having  me  throw  a  fit  at  the  hair  salon.    Thinking
back,  it  probably  saved  her  money  anyways,  so  it
worked out for everyone.

“Who is that?” I asked Momma in a whisper, but
she either didn’t hear me or chose to ignore me.

The  boy  with  the  short  hair  was  George’s  son,  I
found out after the ceremony.  I’m sure it would’ve
come  up  that  I  was  going  to  have  a  new,  big
brother,  but  I  couldn’t  remember  anyone  having
ever mentioned it to me before then.

“I’m Tim,” George’s son said, as he put out his
hand for me to shake. He didn’t seem too fond of

me, but maybe he was just as surprised as I was.

“I’m  Logan,”  I  replied.    I  had  always  been  a  shy
kid.    Often  when  I  met  new  people,  I  would  hide
behind Momma’s leg, or at least hold onto it.  I’m
not  sure  what  I  was  afraid  of,  but  I  knew  that
Momma  would  always  be  there  to  protect  me,  no
matter what.

After  the  Judge  announced  that  George  could  kiss
the  bride,  Momma  came  up  to  me  and  tussled  my
hair.    “Don’t  look  so  scared,  Logan,”  she  said.
“This  is  going  to  be  a  great  new  beginning  to  our
lives.”    She  seemed  so  happy  and  excited  that  I
tried  to  feel  the  same  way,  but  deep  down  I  was
scared…scared  of  it  no  longer  being  just  me  and
Momma,  scared  of  moving  in  with  George  and
Tim,  and  scared  of  leaving  my  school  and  friends
to live in another state.

Chapter 2

I  wasn’t  really  given  time  to  adjust  to  anything.
That  week,  we  packed  up  and  moved  across  the
country.    Our  new  home  was  in  Louisiana.    We
drove  there  in  Momma’s  station  wagon,  while
movers were bringing the u-Haul truck with all of
our belongings and George’s pickup truck.

George  didn’t  really  speak  to  me  very  much,  but
the  long  drive  did  give  me  and  Tim  a  chance  to
bond better.  We would stare out the windows and
have scavenger hunts for things like a red truck, or
a car with a dog in it.  It was nice to have another
kid to play with on the long drive…even if he was
ten years old.  At the time, I thought of him like a
big  brother  who  knew  everything,  but  I’m  sure
inside he was just as scared and nervous about the
move as I was.

Once we got to our new home, we all helped
unpack the U-Haul. I was only five, but I carried

what  I  could.    We  were  living  in  an  apartment
building,  on  the  twelfth  floor.    It  was  a  pretty  big
adjustment from the mobile home I was used to.  I
had never even seen such a big building before.  It
reminded me of the newspaper building that Clark
Kent worked at in the comic books and Superman
cartoons.

Tim got the bigger bedroom, but I was happy with
mine.   Any  bedroom  to  a  five-year-old  is  huge.    I
was given Tim’s old set of bunk beds, and he had a
new full size bed.  My room also had a big stuffed
chair  that  used  to  be  in  our  old  living  room.
Momma  was  given  it  because  her  boss  thought  it
was  ruined,  but  Momma  re-upholstered  it  and
made  it  new  for  us.    My  favorite  thing  in  my  new
bedroom  was  the  closet  I  had.    It  was  a  large
cabinet closet, not like the ones that were built into
the bedroom’s walls.  I was going to use it as my
secret fort.

Tim’s room was at the end of the hallway, across
from Momma and George’s room. He had a door
that was half wood and half glass. The wood

made  a  frame  with  the  bubbled  glass  in  the
middle.    Because  the  glass  was  so  bumpy,  you
couldn’t  see  through  it  well…just  shadows  and
blurry  movements.    “Can  I  sleep  with  you?”  I
asked  Tim  the  first  night.    I  didn’t  like  being  in  a
new  place,  and  didn’t  want  to  sleep  alone  in  my
own  room.    I  was  still  afraid  of  the  dark.    I  was
okay  if  I  had  a  light  on  in  my  room,  or  even  the
sound of a TV in the other room…but the darkness
mixed with the complete silence freaked me out for
some reason.

“Boys don’t sleep with boys,” George said when
he heard me ask Tim if I could sleep with him for
the night. Now that they were married, George
didn’t go out of his way to be nice to me.

“Oh,  let  them  sleep  together.    Logan  can  sleep  on
the  floor  in  a  sleeping  bag,”  Momma  suggested.
This was the moment in time where I realized that
George was now the decision-maker in the family.
He still didn’t like the idea of me needing to sleep
in  Tim’s  room.    He  thought  that  I  was  soft…
whatever  that  meant,  and  that  I  needed  to  be  a

man. I thought that was silly since I was not even
six yet. Eventually, he gave in. I was sternly told
that it would be for one night only, though.

Neither Tim nor I could sleep very well that night.
The  moving  exhausted  us  and  we  had  taken  a  nap
on  the  living  room  floor  while  watching  cartoons
as  Momma  and  George  continued  to  put  things
away.  Since we were both wide awake, Tim and I
spent the night talking.  George yelled at us a few
times  to  go  to  sleep,  but  we  just  whispered  as
quietly as we could instead.

Tim told me all about his old friends, and how they
would  go  on  adventures  in  the  woods…making
forts  inside  the  bushes  and  making  swings  in  the
trees.  I was still pretty little, so Momma never let
me go off and do adventurous things like that, but I
loved  listening  to  Tim  tell  me  about  his  most
exciting  times.    I  could  picture  them  in  my  head
and  almost  felt  like  I  was  there  with  him  and  his
friends.

“What happened to your Momma?” I asked Tim

when there was a lull in our conversation.

“She  left,”  he  answered.    I  could  tell  it  made  him
sad.    He  told  me  that  she  just  wasn’t  happy  with
his  Dad  anymore,  and  wanted  a  divorce.    They
fought  over  custody  of  Tim,  but  George  won.
Now, he never even got to see his Mom anymore.

I  got  up  to  give  Tim  a  hug.    He  seemed  a  bit
confused by it.  I don’t think George gave him hugs
very  often,  but  Tim  just  held  me  tightly.    I  could
feel  him  shake  as  we  hugged  and  knew  he  was
crying.

I  stayed  in  the  bed  the  rest  of  the  night,  so  it  was
easier  to  whisper  back  and  forth  without  George
hearing  and  yelling  at  us  again.    Eventually,  Tim
and I fell asleep.

“What the fuck is this!?” I heard as I was getting
yanked from the bed, and thrown on the floor by
George.

Chapter 3

I was so scared; I wet my pajama pants, which just
made George even angrier. Momma tried to calm
him down, but he pushed her back.

“I’m not raising no sissies!” he yelled, mainly to
me. Tim just sat in bed, trying not to move.

After  George  finished  yelling  at  me,  he  made  me
clean up my mess.  Luckily, the sleeping bag I was
on  was  water-proof,  so  most  of  the  urine  was
contained to that.  There was only a small amount
that  got  on  the  carpet,  and  George  made  me  scrub
that with a brush and soapy water.  Tim offered to
help,  but  George  told  him  to  let  the  sissy  do  it,
which was me, I guess.

Afterwards, George ordered me to my room, and
took off his belt. I screamed as he struck my bare
bottom over and over with his worn, leather belt.

A little later, Momma came in to see how I was

doing. I could tell she had been crying. Even
though I could barely sit down due to the pain my
butt was feeling, I felt worse for Momma. I didn’t
want her to be sad because of me.

That was only the first of the tortures I would
endure from George’s hand. As time passed,
George became less and less tolerant of anything I
did.

If  I  asked  to  spend  the  night  at  my  friend’s,  who
lived  in  the  same  apartment  building,  George
would  blow  up  at  me.    The  first  time  I  was
allowed  to  sleep  over  at  my  friend,  Matthew’s,  I
was  so  homesick  that  I  cried  all  night  and
Matthew’s  parents  called  Momma  and  George  to
have  me  come  home.    Of  course,  that  was  just
proof to George that I was a sissy.

He would regularly call me names like “sissy”, or
“faggot.” Of course, he never used that one when
Momma was around to hear. I’m sure she knew
how he felt about me, though.

I felt lucky when I was just being ignored by

George,  which  was  most  of  the  time.    When  he
wasn’t  ignoring  me,  he  was  complaining  that  I
didn’t have any friends, or that I didn’t like things
that boys should like.  Momma and him would get
into  many  arguments  because  she  tried  to  defend
me to George.

Late  at  night,  I  would  hear  Momma  and  George
arguing loudly about it.   At times they would even
start  screaming.    Every  argument  grew  worse  and
worse.

Eventually,  Tim  would  sneak  into  my  room  when
they would argue since his bedroom was so close
to  their  bedroom.    “It’s  going  to  be  alright,”  he
would  tell  me.    I  think  he  was  trying  to  reassure
himself as well, though.

He  would  lie  on  my  top  bunk  and  lower  his  hand
down  towards  me  so  we  could  hold  hands  as  we
slept.    It  was  our  way  of  comforting  each  other.
Tim was always sure to make it back to his room
before  George  would  wake  up  for  work.    This
became our ritual.

Over those first few years in Louisiana, Tim and I
became  close…like  real  brothers.    He  would
always  stick  up  for  me  with  his  friends  if  they
were making fun of me because I seemed weird to
them,  or  anyone  else  that  tried  to  mess  with  me.
Twice  he  was  called  to  the  Principal’s  office  for
fighting because he heard kids call me queer.

Chapter 4

George  was  not  a  happy  camper  the  first  time  he
was  called  to  the  Principal’s  office  over  Tim’s
fighting.  I think he would’ve been proud if it were
just  a  fight.    But,  because  it  was  in  defense  of
another  boy  calling  me  queer  or  gay,  George
became furious.  When he and Momma got home, I
was given another beating with the belt.

It was like I was being punished for being gay, and
back  then  I  didn’t  even  know  what  it  meant  to  be
gay.    I  never  dreamed  of  dating  another  guy,  or
about having sex with one.  I was seven.  I didn’t
even know about sex yet.

Even  when  I  had  my  first  experiences  with  it,  I
didn’t  know  it  was  sex,  or  that  it  was  gay.    My
friend, Billy, and I were playing in the playground
by our apartment building.  Behind the playground
was a large, wooded area.  We often explored that
area, looking for hidden treasures.

“Hey, Logan…wanna try something?” Billy asked
me on one of our explorations.

“Like what?” I asked, curious about what he
wanted to do. Billy was a year older than me, and
I looked up to him.

“It’s something I saw my brother doing,” he told
me and then he instructed me to pull my pants
down.

“I  don’t  know,”  I  said.    “What  if  someone  sees
us?”    I  guess  even  then,  I  knew  it  was  not  right.
But, Billy talked me into it.  He said he was going
to put his pee-pee in my butt and pee.  I thought it
was weird, but he swore that it felt good.

We  both  tried,  but  neither  of  us  could  pee,  so  we
just  pulled  our  pants  up  and  left.    I  didn’t  get  any
sexual  gratification  from  the  experience,  and  we
never  did  anything  again.    Luckily,  George  never
found out.  I’m sure if he did, he would’ve spanked
me so hard that I’d be unable to walk for a month.

It wasn’t until I was a little older that I knew I was

different  than  most  boys.    Tim  was  now  in  high
school,  and  I  was  left  alone  to  fight  my  own
battles.    By  that  time,  though,  I  had  some  good
friends, and the bullies mostly left me alone.

On my way home from school one day, I saw
Momma and George driving off from the apartment
building. “Hey, Logan,” Momma said, “We will
be back in a little while.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked.  I could tell Momma had
been crying.  Her makeup was all messed up, and
so was her hair.  George just sat behind the wheel
of  the  powder  blue  station  wagon  without  making
any eye contact.

“We just gotta go to the hospital,” she told me. I
was worried, but she told me that she was fine.
“Tell Tim that he should take care of fixing dinner
for you,” she added before they drove away.

I  later  found  out  that  Momma  and  George  had
gotten  into  a  physical  fight  and  he  was  throwing
her  around.    In  the  process,  Momma  landed  hard
on her tailbone and broke it.

“Where’s the folks?” Tim asked when he got home
an hour later. His school didn’t get out as early as
mine, but he also got to go in a little later.

I told him what happened, or at least what I knew
and  he  decided  to  splurge  on  a  pizza  for  us  to
share.  There was a place down the road that sold
large, pepperoni pizzas for only seven dollars, and
Tim  had  some  money  saved  up  from  his
allowance.

He  and  I  played  some  video  games  and  ate  our
pizza.  I know he was just trying to keep my mind
occupied, since he could tell I was worried about
Momma.    Mostly,  it  worked.    As  long  as  I  was
staying busy, I didn’t worry too much.

Finally, around ten o’clock, Momma called.
“Honey, we’re going to be late,” she told me.

“Are you okay?” I asked. Hearing her voice again
did little to calm me. It actually made me worry
more.

“I’m fine. There are just a lot of people here, and

we have to wait our turn.   You  get  ready  for  bed,
though,  and  I’ll  come  tuck  you  in  when  I  get
home.”  After she told Tim and I that she loved us
both, she hung up.  George didn’t bother to get on
the phone at all.

“Can I sleep with you tonight, Tim?” I asked.

“No, buddy.”  I could tell he wanted to say yes, but
since  we  didn’t  know  when  George  and  Momma
would be home, it was too risky.  “But,” he added,
“how about we cuddle up on the couch and watch
one more show before bed?”

“Okay,”  I  answered.    Tim  brought  over  a  blanket
and  sat  in  the  corner  of  the  couch,  so  I  could  lay
beside  him  with  my  head  in  his  lap.    He  covered
me  up  and  caressed  my  neck  and  back  as  we
watched my favorite cartoon show.

It was then that I felt something weird happen. My
penis had gotten hard, and I felt like I was starting
to pee.

Chapter 5

I  got  up  and  ran  to  the  bathroom,  upset  that  I  had
wet  my  pants  in  front  of  my  big  brother.    I  didn’t
know  exactly  what  had  happened,  but  I  knew  it
was because I really liked being close to Tim, and
enjoyed  the  feeling  of  him  caressing  my  back.
Only a few years later did I learn that I had cum in
my pants.

By the time I was in high school, I had learned to
jack off.  My friend Clint had me over to spend the
night for his birthday.  Even though he was a year
younger  than  me,  he  seemed  to  know  a  lot  more
about sex than I did.

The whole night, he was asking questions about
sex. “If you had the chance to have sex with a girl
right now, would you do it?” he asked.

“No,”  I  answered.    It  was  true.    Sex  wasn’t  a  big
deal  for  me  yet,  and  even  though  I  had  a  few
crushes  on  girls,  I  didn’t  think  about  them

sexually.    I  thought  of  sex  as  something  that  two
people  should  do  when  they  loved  one  another.
Clint didn’t agree, though.  He said he would do it
if he had the chance.

He  told  me  about  a  book  that  he  read  that  talked
about  masturbation.    He  said  that  the  next  time  I
took a shower I should use some soap or shampoo
and  lather  up  my  penis…that  it  would  feel
amazing.

I tried it and he was right. My penis got hard and
sensitive as I jacked off with the soapy lather. It
didn’t take me long to ejaculate.

Since  then,  I  jacked  off  at  least  once  a  day,  every
day.  I quickly learned that it was messy to do it in
the  water.    Sperm  was  kind-of  water-proof,  so  it
made it harder to wash it off.

I  didn’t  like  the  mess,  and  the  second  I  finished
jacking off, I was filled with a feeling of guilt.  My
sex  drive  would  completely  disappear.      I  started
using  a  washcloth  to  jack  off  with.    It  made  my
dick  feel  larger  and  more  sensitive,  and  when  I

came into the washcloth there was no mess to
clean up.

At  this  time,  Tim  had  moved  out  and  went  off  to
college  so  I  didn’t  really  have  anyone  to  ask
questions to.  I would jerk off to movies on cable
or  just  to  fantasies  in  my  head.    At  first  those
fantasies  were  about  women.    After  a  while,
though,  I  started  thinking  about  guys  I  went  to
school  with.    It  was  strange,  though,  because  I
didn’t  even  think  I  liked  the  guys  sexually.    They
were  just  guys  that  reminded  me  of  Tim,  or  that  I
looked up to and wanted to be like.

I would tell Momma all about them when George
was at work. One night, though, she slipped a note
under my door that asked me if I wanted to marry
the guys I was telling her about, or if I just looked
up to them.

The  letter  broke  my  heart.    It  was  one  of  the  two
things Momma did that made me stop opening up to
her.  I couldn’t believe that Momma thought I was
gay.  Even to this day, I don’t know if I convinced

myself that I was gay because I thought Momma
believed it, or if she actually could see the real me
before I could.

Either  way,  from  that  time  on,  I  did  start  to  focus
more  and  more  on  guys.    I  still  didn’t  think  about
them sexually, but I did want to be close to them.  I
figured  I  was  just  looking  for  a  replacement  for  a
male role model, since Tim was gone and I never
truly had a father.

I  eventually  did  become  best  friends  with  one  of
the  guys  I  obsessed  over.    His  name  was  Aaron,
and  he  was  every  girl’s  dream.    He  was  athletic,
and  popular,  and  very  handsome.    He  even  had
perfect penmanship.

At  lunch  one  day,  Aaron  asked  me  if  I  wanted  a
bag of Doritos.  He had an extra and saw that I was
alone  at  lunch  and  not  eating.    “I’m  okay,”  I  told
him,  but  he  insisted  enough  that  I  finally  took  the
bag of tortilla chips from him.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” he asked. I was
used to people making fun of me or harassing me,

so I couldn’t really tell if he was just talking or
trying to gain my confidence so he could play a
trick on me.

“No, not much.”

“Well, we need to change that,” he said with a
smile. Even though I thought maybe he was setting
me up, I couldn’t help but feel good that the class’
most popular guy was being friendly to me.

We ate lunch together every day, and I managed to
let my guard down around Aaron. He introduced
me to a lot of his friends, but I still enjoyed my
alone time with him the most.

One  of  the  friends Aaron  introduced  me  to  was  a
girl  named  Flo.    She  was  a  little  shorter  than  me,
and had long black hair.  She was over-weight, but
it  worked  for  her.    If  I  had  to  describe  her
personality,  I’d  say  it  was  somewhere  between  a
heavy  rocker  type  and  a  hippie.    On  the  outside,
she was very brash and loud.

I started spending more time with her, whenever

Aaron and I weren’t hanging around together.
Even though she seemed so tough on the outside, I
realized she was a really warm and sensitive
person on the inside.

She was the first person I told that I was gay. I
was scared, but I knew that she wouldn’t judge me
for it. “Honey, I always knew you were gay,” she
told me when I came out to her.

I felt a little bad about it, because if she could tell,
I thought maybe everyone else could as well. But,
it turned out to be a good thing because she had a
secret to tell me as well.

“What?” I asked, dying from the suspense.

“Well,  you  know  how  you  and  Aaron  are  best
friends?”  I didn’t know where she was going with
it, but I nodded.  “Well, what if one of you wanted
to  be  more  than  best  friends…like  boyfriends?”
she asked.

“I’m not going to put the moves on Aaron!” I
answered back, probably a little too loudly. I had

to quickly look around and make sure no one had
heard me.

“No, dummy,” she said. “I’m saying that maybe
Aaron wants to put the moves on you.”

I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I
never thought for a second that Aaron could be gay
or like me like that. He came off as completely
straight.

Chapter 6

It turned out she was right about Aaron. After both
of us knew each other was gay, it gave us so much
more to talk about and eventually led to us dating.

Of course, neither of us told anyone about it, but it
still  felt  like  dating.    We  would  hold  hands  when
no  one  was  looking  or  we  were  in  a  dark  movie
theater.    And,  I  finally  got  my  first  kiss.    It  was
everything I imagined it could be.

Flo  would  let  us  use  her  place  when  no  one  was
home  to  make  out  and  have  some  alone  time.    It
was there that I had sex for the first time.  I won’t
say  it  was  good,  because  it  was  awkward,  but  I
was happy that Aaron was my first.

“Whatcha thinking?” Aaron asked me as we lay in
each other’s arms.

“I’m just thinking about how glad I am that you
came up and talked to me that day after lunch,” I

answered.

“You know, I was pretty nervous?”

“I couldn’t tell. What did you have to be nervous
about?” I asked him as he lightly caressed my chest
with just the tip of his fingers.

“A lot of things. I was worried that people would
think it was weird that I was talking to you. I was
worried that you would reject me…”

“You’re the most popular guy in our class,” I
interrupted.

“Maybe, but you’re definitely the hottest guy in our
class,” he told me with a grin. I flipped him over
and we started making out some more.

Flo was happy that I was in a relationship, and it
felt really good to just be able to be myself around
her and Aaron.

“Are you gonna tell your folks?” Flo asked me one
day while I was hanging out with her after school.

“Are you crazy?!” Momma would probably love

me no matter what, but I knew George would never
be able to accept me as gay.  He probably already
thought  I  was  a  homosexual,  but  that  was  still
different  than  me  coming  out  and  verifying  it  to
him.

As  Aaron  and  I  got  closer  and  closer,  I  started
wishing I could just be myself all the time.  Aaron
wanted  to  come  out  of  the  closet  at  school  and  to
his family.  That put me in a difficult spot though,
because then people would probably assume I was
gay too, since they knew he and I were close.

“I’ll tell him that we’re just friends,” he told me.  I
was still apprehensive to the idea though.  I knew
that  coming  out  of  the  closet  wasn’t  such  a  hard
thing  for  him.    He  had  a  loving  and  supportive
family,  and  was  so  popular  at  school  that  his
coming out would probably make it the cool thing
to  do.    I,  on  the  other  hand,  had  more  to  lose.
People at school would probably leave me alone,
because  of  their  respect  for Aaron.    But,  it  could
very well get back to my family.

Chapter 7

Aaron soon found out exactly what reaction my
family had to me being gay.

I had been spending a lot of time with Flo and
Aaron, and Momma asked me one day if Flo was
my girlfriend.

“No, Momma. We’re just friends,” I told her as
she put away the clothes of mine she had washed
and folded while I was at school.

“Well, you two spend a lot of time together,” she
explained.

“I spend a lot of time with her and Aaron,” I said.
Immediately,  I  knew  it  was  something  I  shouldn’t
have  said.    Momma  looked  at  me  worried  when
she  asked  if  I  liked Aaron  as  more  than  a  friend.
“No,”  I  lied,  “He’s  just  one  of  my  best  friends.”
My  pulse  was  starting  to  race  and  I  hoped  that
Momma  would  just  accept  my  lie  and  leave  me

alone.

Instead, she continued. “You know, you can tell
me if you like someone. It’ll be just between you
and me.”

I  wanted  to  tell  her.    Momma  and  I  used  to  be  so
close  and  with  Tim  gone  it  felt  like  I  didn’t  have
any  close  family  left.    Maybe  if  I  opened  up  to
Momma we could have that bond back.  I sat their
quietly for a few minutes, trying to get up the nerve
to tell her that Aaron was my boyfriend and that I
was gay.  As she turned to leave my room, I finally
blurted it out.  “I’m gay, Momma!” I said.

“It’s  okay,”  she  said  as  she  hugged  me.    “I  love
you no matter what.”  It felt good to have her arms
around me again, and to know that everything was
going to be alright.  I felt a huge sense of relief.

It was short lived though. Just after dinner, George
came barreling into my room. “What the fuck is
wrong with you, you pervert?!” he yelled.

“What?” I started to ask, but he grabbed me by the

neck and drug me out of the room.

“I  won’t  have  some  faggot  living  under  my  roof,”
he  continued.    I  looked  up  and  saw  Momma
standing  against  the  wall,  frightened.    Her  eyes
told me that she betrayed me and told George that I
was gay.

“Momma, please! Help me,” I plead.

“You Momma doesn’t make the rules here, faggot.
I do, and you’re no longer our son.”  I didn’t really
care  about  being  George’s  son,  since  he  never
treated me like one anyway.  I couldn’t believe that
Momma  was  just  standing  by  and  letting  George
throw  me  out.    He  drug  me  all  the  way  out  of  the
building and threw me down on the ground.  I was
scared, but I didn’t shed a tear.

After I dusted myself off, and calmed down a little,
I called Flo and told her what happened. “I have
nowhere to go,” I told her. George didn’t even let
me take any clothes or belongings.

“Hold on,” she told me while she went to ask her

parents if I could come over and stay with them.  I
had only met her Mom once and her Dad twice, but
they  both  seemed  like  good  people.    “They  said
you  can  come  over  here  and  stay,”  she  told  me
when she got back on the phone.

Once  I  got  to  her  house,  everyone  was  very
welcoming  and  supportive.    Flo  had  told  her
parents  that  I  was  gay,  but  they  still  wanted  to
make sure I slept in a different room.  Fortunately
for  me,  Flo’s  older  brother  was  away  at  college
and  I  could  use  his  room.    He  had  some  clothes
that would fit me as well.

Everyone tried to make me feel at home, but I still
felt like a visitor, and just wanted the comfort of
my own room again.

Chapter 8

After a few days of staying at Flo’s I felt that my
welcome was wearing off. They were nice
people, but they didn’t need another mouth to feed,
or to be right in the middle of my drama.

“Can I stay with you?” I asked Aaron.

“Logan,  you  know  I  care  a  lot  about  you,” Aaron
started,  “but,  I  don’t  think  my  parents  would  like
that.”  I was surprised by Aaron’s answer and felt
very  hurt.    I  was  used  to  people  not  really  caring
for  me,  but  I  thought  that  Aaron  would  be
different.  I was in a difficult situation and needed
help, and expected him to at least ask his parents.
But, he didn’t seem willing to do even that.

It stuck in my mind the entire next period, and I
decided that I was just going to leave school and
go back to Flo’s house once that period was over.

Flo’s mother was home, and was surprised to see

me knocking on the door.  “I’m going back home,”
I  explained.    “I’ve  worked  things  out  with  my
parents, and don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
It  was  a  lie,  but  I  didn’t  want  to  tell  her  my  real
plans.

“Oh, you were no bother,” she told me.  “Anytime
you  need  a  place  to  stay,  our  door  is  always
open.”    I  knew  she  meant  it,  but  I  also  knew  that
she was glad to have her home back to normal.

I  decided  I  was  going  to  go  visit  Tim  at  college.
He  was  the  only  family  that  seemed  to  care  for
me.  I hadn’t talked to him in a while, and wasn’t
even sure if he knew about George kicking me out.
Instead  of  calling  him,  though,  I  just  planned  on
showing up at his dorm.

Tim’s  college  wasn’t  very  far  away,  but  it  still
took  me  quite  a  while  to  get  there.    I  didn’t  have
any  money  for  a  bus,  so  I  had  to  hitch  my  way
there.

I didn’t arrive until late that night, and Tim was
definitely surprised to see me. I was lucky to

catch him. Apparently, it was a school break and
most of the students were away. “What are you
doing here, Logan?” he said as he wrapped me in
his arms and gave me a huge hug.

“What? I can’t visit my big brother?” I asked.

“Get  in  here,”  he  said.    As  I  entered  his  dorm,
there  was  a  little  dinette  table  to  the  right  of  the
door  and  a  small  kitchen  to  the  left.    The  living
room  was  straight  ahead.    It  contained  a  small
loveseat and matching chair, and a tiny television.

“Where’s your room?” I asked, and Tim showed
me to his small room. The dorm was set up for
four students, but Tim told me that the room next to
his was actually empty, so he told me I could crash
there that night.

“So,  really,”  Tim  said,  “what’s  going  on?”    I
didn’t  know  how  to  start.    As  I  tried  to  find  the
words,  I  just  started  crying.    “Hey,”  Tim  said,
“don’t cry….it’s okay.”

I sat down and told Tim everything…everything

about how I became friends with Aaron, and how I
was  gay.    Tim  didn’t  seem  surprised.    I  kept
rambling on, telling him about how I told Momma
and how she told Tim’s Dad.  I was afraid to stop
talking  because  I  didn’t  want  Tim  to  say  anything
judgmental after I finished.  It shouldn’t have been
any  surprise  to  me  though,  that  Tim  was
completely  supportive.    After  I  told  him  how
George threw me out, Tim just hugged me and told
me that he loved me.

“You can stay here as long as you need,” Tim told
me.

“Thank  you,”  I  said.    I  was  still  pretty  emotional
and  asked  Tim  if  I  could  sleep  with  him  like  the
old  days.    “I’ll  sleep  on  the  floor,”  I  told  him  to
help convince him.  His bed was pretty small so I
wasn’t sure we’d both fit in it anyways.

“Of course, you can sleep in here with me.”  After
brushing  our  teeth,  I  took  a  quick  shower  and  met
Tim  back  in  his  room.    Tim  had  me  crawl  in  bed
with  him  and  it  didn’t  take  long  for  me  to  fall

asleep.

I must have slept half the day away. Around two
in the afternoon, Tim woke me up so we could go
grab some lunch.

While we were out at lunch, some of Tim’s friends
came by and told him there was a back to school
party the next night at one of the Fraternity houses.
“Man,” I told Tim, “looks like you’ve got it made
here at school.”

“Well, there is school work too, which can
sometimes be pretty hard,” Tim reminded me.
“But, yeah…I’m happy.”

Tim  ended  up  taking  me  to  the  party  with  him  the
next  night.   After  a  while,  though,  I  got  separated
from him.  I didn’t really know my way back to the
dorm, so I just tried to hang out.  I figured I’d run
back into Tim sooner or later.  I didn’t think he’d
leave without me.

“Hey! Here.” A guy had come up to me and
offered me a cup of punch. The guy seemed to be a

little older than me…probably a sophomore or
junior.

“Thanks,” I told him, taking the drink he offered
me.

“What’s  your  name?”  he  asked  me.    He  was  cute,
so I told him.  We sat there and drank a few drinks,
which turned out to be spiked, and I told him that I
was visiting my brother.  “I knew you didn’t look
familiar.    Usually,  it’s  the  same  guys  at  these
parties.”

It  didn’t  take  too  long  before  I  was  feeling  really
woozy, and light headed.  I never had really drank
before,  so  the  alcohol  went  right  to  my  head.    I
don’t really remember the next several hours, but I
think  I  left  the  party  with  Marty,  the  guy  who  had
brought me the drink.

All  I  really  remember  is  making  out  some  and
eventually vomiting…a lot.  I woke up feeling like
my  head  was  about  to  explode,  but  I  quickly
became  aware  that  Tim  probably  didn’t  know
where  I  was.    “I  gotta  go,”  I  told  Marty  before

grabbing my shoes and shirt and running out the
door.

When I got back to Tim’s dorm, he chewed me out
for disappearing without letting him know…but I
could tell it was only because he was worried
about me.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Good,” Tim said.  “So, where were you?”  I told
him  that  I  met  a  guy  named  Marty  and  that  I  was
hanging  out  with  him  all  night.    Tim  told  me  he
knew  who  I  was  talking  about  but  didn’t  really
know anything about him.

The  next  day,  I  hung  out  with  Marty  again.    He
tracked  me  down  and  asked  me  to  another  party.
This  time,  Tim  decided  to  stay  at  the  dorm.    He
was  fine  with  me  going  out,  as  long  as  I  kept  him
posted on where I was and when I would be back.

I  ended  up  getting  even  drunker  this  time  with
Marty.    We  ended  up  hitting  a  second  party  once
the first one ended.  Marty passed me a joint at that

party.    I  had  never  smoked  weed  before,  or  done
any  drugs  before,  but  I  didn’t  want  to  seem  like  a
little kid to him so I took a hit.  Marty laughed as it
made me cough.

Just like the night before, the next few hours were
hazy. I know I smoked a lot, but I also think Marty
gave me more than just weed. I always looked
down on people that did drugs, but it did feel good
to finally feel relaxed…to not have to worry about
things at least for a few hours.

It didn’t take Tim long to see that I was becoming a
pot head. “Hey, Logan…come here,” he told me
when I woke up one day.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“We need to talk.” My stomach started churning
and I got a lump in my throat. No good
conversation ever starts with those words.

“Okay…”

“I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I’m
worried about you.” I could tell Tim was referring

to the drugs and the late nights, but he was trying to
be delicate and not make me feel like he was
accusing me of anything.

“I’m okay.” I told him.  I sensed that it was going
to  be  a  problem  if  I  stayed,  so  I  made  up  a  lie
about having a friend I wanted to go visit.  I didn’t
really  have  anywhere  to  go,  but  it  was  better  than
getting kicked out and feeling rejected by my own
brother.

“Are you sure?” Tim asked.  Maybe he knew there
really  was  no  friend  to  visit  or  he  just  wanted  to
have a clear conscience one I had left.  “You know
you can stay here as long as you want.”

“I know.  I really have to go though.”  I got up and
started  making  the  bed  so  Tim  couldn’t  see  the
tears that were starting to form in my eyes.  “I just
gotta  take  a  shower  and  then  I’m  gonna  catch  a
bus.”

After I came out of the shower, and got the spare
room straightened up, Tim handed me some money,
and told me to call him if I needed anything. We

Chapter 9

I  didn’t  really  have  a  bus  to  catch,  since  I  had
nowhere  to  go.    I  ended  up  walking  for  a  few
hours,  and  eventually  hitched  a  ride  to  the  state
line.    The  guy  who  picked  me  up  was  a  trucker,
and seemed nice enough.  We made small talk until
he dropped me off at a rest stop.

The  rest  stop  was  like  a  nice  park,  with  nice
landscaping, a picnic area, and even a nice bridge
that overlooked a creek.  I found a nice quiet spot
and sat down to try to figure out what I wanted to
do next.  Eventually I dozed off to sleep.

“Hey!” I was awoken by a guy nudging me with
his boot. “Wake up!”

As I looked up, it was a police officer. I was
afraid he was going to arrest me, but he just told
me that I couldn’t loiter in the rest area.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I had a fight with my girlfriend

and she left me here. I’m waiting on my brother to
pick me up now.” It was a lie, but I think it was
convincing enough for the police officer.

“I’ll have to wait with you, to make sure he comes
to  get  you,”  the  officer  said.    Now  that  my  eyes
were open and we had moved to where there was
more light, I saw that he was about six feet tall and
probably  around  forty-five  years  old.    He  looked
fit,  and  in-shape,  but  his  age  showed  in  the
wrinkles around his eyes.

“I’m sure he’ll be here in just a few minutes,” I
lied. I was hoping I could get the officer to leave.

He  just  sat  there  quietly,  before  pulling  out  a
cigarette.    “You  want  one?”  he  asked  me.    I
declined  with  a  nod.    “Or  do  you  like  to  smoke
something  a  little  harder?    I  can  smell  the  pot  on
you, you know.”

I didn’t know what to say.  I probably looked like
a  deer  caught  in  someone’s  headlights.    “My
girlfriend was smoking,” I told him, trying to think
quickly.    “That’s  what  we  were  having  the

argument about.”

“Too bad,” the officer said.  “I was going to offer
to  share  a  joint  with  you.”    With  that,  he  pulled  a
joint out of his shirt pocket.  I must have betrayed
my  lie  by  the  look  of  lust  in  my  eyes,  because  he
proceeded to light it, take a drag off of it, and then
offered me the joint.

I took it, and took a long hit off of it, making sure
to inhale and hold it in as long as I could. The
officer just laughed. “This is some good shit,” I
said.

“I figured you’d like it, but you don’t get anything
for free,” the officer said with a smirk.

“Shouldn’t you have named the price before letting
me smoke with ya?” I asked. I guess the pot was
making me feel more relaxed and bold.

The  officer  grabbed  me  by  the  throat,  and  pushed
me hard into the side of his patrol car.  “Listen to
me closely, asshole.  I know you’re not waiting on
anyone  to  pick  you  up.    No  one  probably  even

knows  you’re  here.”    I  know  my  eyes  must  have
betrayed  me  and  told  him  that  he  was  right  on  the
money  with  his  assumptions.    He  went  on  to  tell
me  he  could  have  me  arrested  for  doing  pot  if  he
wanted to.

I wanted to argue that he framed me and ask how
he could arrest me for something he offered me and
was doing with me, but instead I just asked him
what he wanted.

“What I want, and what I’m going to get is a nice,
slow, wet blow job from you.”  I know I should’ve
been  afraid,  but  my  hardening  dick  told  me  I  was
getting  turned  on  by  the  idea  of  sucking  this  hot
officer’s  cock.    “Yeah,  I  see  you  like  that.    I’m
gonna  use  your  faggot  mouth  like  it’s  a  tight,  wet
pussy,” he whispered in my ear before pushing me
to my knees.

He didn’t wait for even a second before unzipping
his  pants  and  pulling  out  one  of  the  longest  and
thickest cocks I’ve ever seen.  This dick was what
pornos  were  made  of.    It  had  to  be  at  least  ten

inches long and as thick as a bottle of aspirin.

At  first,  he  let  me  lick  the  head  that  was  already
leaking  precum.    Before  I  could  even  get  used  to
that,  he  grabbed  the  side  of  my  head  and  pushed
hard to load his cock into my throat.  I gagged hard
and tried to back up, but he held my head in place.
Once I calmed down, I was able to get used to it.
He pulled all the way out and then rammed it back
into  my  mouth,  making  sure  to  go  farther  than
before.    This  continued  until  my  throat  was  filled
with  all  ten  inches.    I  could  feel  the  mushroom
head stretching my throat.  I felt helpless, but was
proud  of  myself  that  I  was  able  to  take  it  all  and
had stopped gagging.

“That’s it, boy. Take my fat cock down your tight
pussy throat!” he growled as he bucked his hips
back and forth.

Now  that  I  was  getting  into  it,  I  grabbed  his  ass,
and  found  his  hole  with  my  fingers.    I  used  one
finger  to  massage  his  ass  hole  before  inserting  it
into his very tight hole.

He  must  have  liked  it  because  he  yelled,  “Fuck
yeah!” and started face fucking me even harder.  It
only took a few more seconds for him to shoot his
hot  load  down  my  throat.    He  took  his  spasming
cock  out  of  my  throat  and  shot  another  to  ropes
onto my tongue and lips.  His cum tasted bitter but
not completely unpleasant.

Once he was done, he took out his wallet and
threw a twenty dollar bill on the ground with
another joint, and got in his car to drive off.

It was then that I figured out I could use sex to get
what I needed, whether that was drugs or a place
to stay.

There were a few days that I ended up eating food
from  a  fast  food  dumpster,  but  most  days  I  was
able  to  find  a  guy  that  wanted  to  fuck  my  face  or
mouth.    A  few  wanted  me  to  fuck  them  as  well.
Usually  I’d  hang  outside  of  a  bar  to  find  someone
to  take  me  home  with  them.    It  wasn’t  too  hard  to
tell  which  guys  were  interested.    They’d  stare  at
me for a little while, or try to make small talk over

a cigarette.

I usually didn’t mind the sex, even though most of
the  guys  I  went  home  with  were  older  guys  who
liked  being  with  a  hot  young  stud  like  me.    I
thought of it as a job.  My pay was the meals I got
and  the  roof  over  my  head.    Some  of  the  men
would even give me enough money to allow me to
stay  in  a  motel  for  a  few  days  and  not  have  to
hook-up with anyone.

Chapter 10

After  a  few  months  of  prostituting  myself,  I  met
Dirk.    Dirk  was  only  twenty-seven,  and  six-foot
three.  He had an athletic body, with pretty defined
muscles  from  his  job  as  a  roofer.   At  first,  I  just
hooked up with him for the same reasons I always
hooked  up….a  place  to  stay  and  something  to  eat
or  drink.    Some  pot  or  alcohol  was  a  nice
addition.  But, once I got to his place, I was able to
get a better look at Dirk.  He had a beautiful face.
It  wasn’t  perfect,  since  he  had  a  scar  above  his
right  eyebrow,  and  a  nose  that  looked  like  it  was
broken at least once.  But, he had full red lips, and
the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen.

We  spent  the  night  fucking.    First  he  fucked  me
doggie-style, and then I fucked him.  After smoking
a joint, we tried a few more positions.  I was used
to  guys  that  were  done  after  fifteen  minutes,  but
Dirk was able to go half the night.  He was so sexy
that I didn’t mind at all, though.

In the morning, as he was getting ready for work, I
expected  him  to  rudely  kick  me  out.    That’s  what
usually  happened  with  guys.    Instead,  Dirk  said  I
could  stay  if  I  wanted.    “Are  you  sure?”  I  asked.
“You’re not afraid I’m going to rob you blind?”

“Are  you?”  he  asked.    He  was  a  man  of  few
words.    He  didn’t  talk  dirty  in  bed,  and  didn’t
really say much most of the time.  I told him that I
had no plans to rob him.  He just lightly chuckled
and  added,  “Good.    I’ll  see  you  when  I  get  off
work then.”

I lay back down and enjoyed being in a nice home,
all alone.  I slept a lot longer than I usually did, but
finally woke up around four in the afternoon.  After
showering  and  washing  my  clothes  that  were
starting  to  smell,  I  searched  for  something  to  eat.
There wasn’t much to snack on, but I did see some
meat  in  the  freezer.    I  decided  to  make  something
in the crock pot Dirk had stored away on top of his
kitchen cabinets.  Maybe if I make him a nice meal,
he’ll let me stay another day, I thought to myself.

And, he did. In fact, I stayed a few months.
Neither of us said it, but I felt like Dirk and I were
boyfriends, and it felt nice.

Towards  the  end  of  my  stay,  I  learned  that  Dirk
had  a  temper.    It  was  something  that  I  never  saw
before, but after a bad day at work he came home
and  slammed  the  front  door.    “Where  the  fuck  are
you?” he yelled.

“What’s wrong, Dirk?” I asked. I had never seen
him this mad before. I thought maybe I had done
something wrong.

“Can’t  you  do  anything  around  here?”  he  asked.
“Look  at  this  place.    It’s  a  fuckin’  pig  pen.”    He
pushed  a  pile  of  books  from  the  table  onto  the
floor.  I had wanted to get a normal job, so I could
make  my  own  money  and  not  depend  on  Dirk  so
much, but he never wanted me to work.  Instead, I
tried  to  make  his  meals  and  keep  the  house  clean
so I wasn’t sure what he thought was so messy.  I
had just vacuumed, dusted, and mopped the floors.
All of the dishes were even clean, except the ones

being used for dinner.

I  tried  to  calm  him  down,  but  that  just  got  Dirk
angrier.  He called me a whore when I tried to let
him know that I loved him and was trying my best.
“Just  get  the  fuck  out,  whore!”  he  kept  yelling  at
me.

“You  don’t  mean  that,”  I  said.    I  was  starting  to
cry.    I  didn’t  know  what  had  come  over  Dirk,  but
he was acting like I was nothing to him.  I tried to
hug him, but he slapped me across the face, before
attacking me.  I found myself in a head lock and he
was  punching  me  side  and  back  over  and  over
while cutting off my air supply.  I tried to tell him
that  I  couldn’t  breathe  but  I’m  sure  he  didn’t  hear
me.    Eventually,  I  just  tried  to  be  as  still  as
possible and play dead just so he’d let me go.

He  did  stop  once  I  stopped  struggling,  and
retreated to the bathroom where I heard the shower
turn  on.    I  got  up  as  fast  as  I  could  and  ran  out  of
the house and down the street.    I  wanted  to  get  as
far  away  as  I  could  in  case  he  came  looking  for

Chapter 11

I made it to a gas station, where I was able to calm
down. I saw a pay phone and decided to call
home.

“Hello?” I hear Momma say as she answered the
phone.

After the message came on asking her if she would
accept the charges for the collect phone call, I
heard a beep. I wasn’t sure if that meant she
accepted or not, but I said “Momma?”

“Logan,  how  are  you?”    I  could  hear  her  voice
tremble  as  she  asked.    I  wasn’t  sure  if  it  was  just
because  she  missed  me  or  if  it  was  because  she
was  afraid  of  my  answer.    Either  way,  it  was  so
good  to  hear  her  voice  again.    Even  though  it  had
only  been  a  few  months  since  I  left  home,  it  felt
like  I  had  aged  years.    I  no  longer  felt  like  the
seventeen  year  old  boy  that  Momma  probably
remembered.

“I’m good Momma,” I told her. It was a lie, but I
didn’t want her to worry about me or feel guilty for
letting George kick me out. “I miss you,” I added.

There was a long silence. I thought I heard
Momma cry, but she cleared her throat and started
talking again. “I miss you too, Logan.” Her voice
suddenly sounded so formal.

“Can  I  come  home?”  I  asked.    My  voice  cracked,
because I was so nervous.  I knew George couldn’t
accept  me  since  he  knew  I  was  gay.    I  had  hoped
that  time  without  me  had  made  Momma  miss  me
enough  to  convince  him  that  I  was  her  son  and
deserved a place in their family.

“Logan,  you  know  I  love  you  but  I  cannot  go
against  George.”    Momma’s  words  echoed  in  my
ears as my legs buckled from underneath me.  I just
wanted to be held again and taken care of.  Before
I  knew  it,  I  was  crying  and  had  snot  running  from
my nose.

“I’m your son, Momma!” I yelled. I know people
were probably looking at me, but I didn’t care. I

couldn’t believe that she would choose to stand by
George instead of her own son.  “How can you just
stand  by  and  watch  me  become  homeless?    I’ve
been raped and had to sell my body just to eat and
have  a  roof  over  my  head.    Is  that  what  you
wanted,  Momma?”    I  was  now  screaming  with  a
horse voice.

Momma  said  nothing  in  return.    Instead,  I  just
heard  a  soft  click  and  then  the  dial-tone  from  the
phone.    Momma  had  hung  up  on  me.    I  buried  my
face in my hands and just cried.  I used my shirt to
wipe the tears and snot from my face, but the tears
just kept flowing.

Chapter 12

“Hey, are you alright?  Do you need help?” I heard
someone  ask  as  I  was  tapped  on  the  shoulder.    I
raised  my  head  to  see  an  older  guy  with  his  hand
outstretched.

“I’m okay,” I said as I used my shirt to wipe my
face again.

“I’m  not  trying  to  call  you  a  liar,  but  it  doesn’t
really  look  that  way,”  the  mad  replied.    He  had  a
kind face.  He was a little overweight…not really
the type I would normally look for when searching
for a “john.”

“Well, I will be okay,” I told him.

“How old are you?” he asked.

“Eighteen.”  I always answered that I was eighteen
when  a  guy  asked,  but  this  time  it  was  actually
true.    It  was  my  birthday…and  a  pretty  rotten  one
at that.

“Let me buy you lunch,” the man offered even
though it was dinner time. “My name’s James, by
the way.”

“Logan,” I told him, as I followed him to his car.  I
didn’t  have  anywhere  to  go  and  was  hungry.    I
hadn’t slept with guys for money in a long time, but
I  did  need  a  place  to  stay  for  the  night.    Besides
that, I wanted to leave the gas station in case Dirk
was looking for me.

Over lunch at a fast food place, James asked what
was  wrong,  but  I  told  him  I  just  had  an  argument
with  my  Momma.    “Is  she  the  one  that  was
pounding on you?” he asked.  He must’ve seen the
bruises  that  had  already  formed  when  I  lifted  my
shirt to wipe my face.

“No, that was someone else,” I answered.

“Seems like you’re having a pretty bad day,” he
said. It made me laugh, which was the point I
guess…but the laughing hurt my ribs and bruises.

I told him about Dirk and the fight I had.  I couldn’t
tell if he was surprised I was gay or not.  Probably
not, since he was picking me up.  Then, I told him
about my call with Momma and all of the stuff that
happened when I came out to her.

“That sucks,” he said.  It’s hard to believe a Mom
wouldn’t  stick  by  her  son…her  own  flesh  and
blood.”  I don’t know why I was telling James my
life  story,  but  he  made  me  feel  comfortable.
Maybe I just had so much pain trapped inside that I
had to get it all out, and it was nice to just have a

sympathetic ear listening to me.

Once I was stuffed, James offered to let me come
home with him. “You’re definitely eighteen?” he
said before we headed there, though.

“Yeah, today is my birthday.”

“Man, it has been a bad day for you,” he said as
we got back in his car. He lived about ten minutes
away, in a nice but small split-level home.

He gave me a tour of the house, and introduced me
to his dog, Mr. Tugglytoes. When we got to his
bedroom, he asked if I was tired. “Yeah, a little,”
I told him.

“Well, you can take the bed, and I’ll crash on the
couch tonight,” he said.

“We can share the bed,” I offered as I brushed my
hand across his crotch.

“Um,  no,”  he  replied  as  he  grabbed  my  hand.    “I
didn’t ask you here for sex, Logan.  I just wanted to
help  because  you  looked  like  you  needed  it.”    He

went on to tell me that he was straight. “I have
been curious from time to time about being with a
guy, but I have no intensions of taking advantage of
you.”

I  didn’t  want  to  sound  rude,  but  I  didn’t  really
believe him.  He seemed genuine, but so had others
I had met.  Dirk seemed like he really cared for me
and then turned psycho on me.  I had no intensions
of  letting  my  guard  down  again.    Still,  James  was
helping me and didn’t seem to want anything from
me tonight at least.  “Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome, Logan.”

“Can  you  share  the  bed  anyways  with  me?”  I
asked.    I  was  used  to  sharing  a  bed,  and  didn’t
really  want  to  be  alone  on  my  birthday.    After
reiterating  that  there  would  be  no  sex,  James
agreed.  In fact, we both slept in our clothes.

Chapter 13

James  let  me  stay  with  him  for  more  than  just  the
one  day.    We  never  had  sex,  but  became  really
good  friends.    He  was  thirty-seven  years  old,  and
had  never  been  married.    In  fact,  his  relationship
with his dog was his longest he would often joke.

“You know,” he told me one morning at breakfast,
“we  need  to  get  you  a  job.    A  real  job,”  he
stressed.  He didn’t come right out and say it, but it
was  understood  that  he  didn’t  want  me  out
prostituting myself any more.  My second day with
James, he sat me down and talked to me about the
conditions  of  my  living  there.    “There  will  be  no
prostituting  anymore,  and  no  drugs  or  alcohol  if
you want to stay here,” he said.  “Is that clear?”

I told him it was. In case I was just feeding him
the words he wanted to hear, he went on to tell me
that if I broke those rules even once, I’d be asked
to leave. He was a generous guy, but I knew he

meant it. And, I had no trouble agreeing to those
rules because I could tell his only reason for the
rules was to help me make my life better.

As we talked about what kind of job I would like, I
told him that I’d first need to get a social security
card and a driver’s license.

“You  don’t  have  a  driver’s  license?”  he  said.    I
told  him  I  didn’t,  and  he  got  out  his  laptop  so  we
could  order  a  birth  certificate  for  me.    I  would
need that to get the license and the social security
card.    “Okay,  now  that  that’s  done,  we  need  to
teach you how to drive,” he said.

We took the car to a run-down shopping center that
had  closed  down  the  majority  of  its  stores  and
James had me hop behind the driver’s seat.  “What
do I do?” I asked.  I was embarrassed to say that I
had  never  attempted  to  drive  and  barely  knew
anything about it.  I knew that the gas pedal was on
the right, and the brake was on the left, but that was
about it.

James explained that he wanted me to just practice

pressing  very  lightly  on  the  gas  to  go,  and  lightly
brake when he told me to stop.  I was sure glad he
had an automatic instead of a manual car.  I knew I
couldn’t handle driving a stick-shift.

It  didn’t  take  me  too  long  to  get  comfortable  with
accelerating  and  braking.    “Great,”  James  said.
“Now, we’re going to focus on driving inside of a
lane.”  He instructed me to drive down the lane in
front of the building, where there were still painted
lines for me to follow.

While  I  drove,  and  began  to  feel  more  confident,
James told me about the rules of the road, and the
proper  way  to  look  behind  myself  if  I  needed  to
back  up.    He  said  that’s  what  made  him  fail  his
driving test three times.

On the way home, we stopped and picked up a
driving manual from the DMV, so I could study it
for both the written and driving test.

We practiced driving a few more times before I
took my test and James said I was a natural. He
said it was good that I learned a little late how to

drive  and  that  he  was  the  one  that  taught  me
because  it  kept  me  from  picking  up  some  bad
habits  that  most  sixteen  year  olds  pickup  because
they want to be cool and reckless.

I was nervous, but managed to pass my test on the
first try. Even though I was required to learn how
to parallel park, the driving instructor never asked
me to do it. I was relieved because that’s the one
thing I was most nervous about.

“Let’s  celebrate,”  James  said  when  we  left  the
DMV  with  my  new  license  in  hand.    I  liked  that
James  work  for  himself,  from  home,  because  it
gave him the freedom to spend more time with me
and  help  me  with  things  like  getting  my  license.
He even said he’d drive me back and forth to work
once I got a job.

We went out to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate.
James  ordered  a  margarita  since  he  said  I  could
drive  him  home.    We  shared  a  double  order  of
steak  fajitas  and  talked  about  the  kind  of  job  I
would  try  to  get.    I  told  him  I  didn’t  really  know

how to do anything.

“Well, what would you like to do?” he asked.

“I  don’t  know.    I  don’t  think  I’d  be  good  at
anything  manual  labor-ish.    Maybe  being  a
waiter,” I suggested.  “There’s good money in that,
right?”

“If you’re good at it,” he joked.

While  we  ate,  I  watched  our  waiter,  Juan,  so  I
could  study  how  he  carried  the  trays  of  food,  and
how  he  refilled  our  drinks  without  asking.    I  was
getting  pretty  exciting  to  start  a  job  and  have  a
normal life, finally.

The next day, I went out to find a job.  I filled out
several applications and talked to the managers at
each of the restaurants.  Most weren’t interested in
hiring  a  waiter  that  has  no  experience.    Finally,  I
did  get  an  interview  from  the  manager  of  a  chain
restaurant in the mall near the house.

After telling, Sandy, the manager about my
background and my need for a job, she agreed to

take  a  chance  on  me.    “You’re  going  to  have  to
train  for  two  weeks,  though,”  she  told  me.    “So,
you  won’t  be  making  any  tips  at  first.”    That  was
fine with me…I just wanted a chance.

I  used  those  two  weeks  to  study  the  menu,  so  I’d
know  it  inside  and  out.    The  girl  training  me  was
really nice.  Her name was Chelsea and she didn’t
seem  to  mind  that  I  asked  a  lot  of  questions.    She
was  a  black  girl  with  a  really  bubbly  personality,
and  many  of  her  customers  were  regulars  at  the
restaurant  just  because  she  was  so  friendly.    She
averaged  seventy-five  dollars  a  shift,  which
wasn’t  too  bad  for  a  six  hour  shift.    I  was  hoping
I’d do as well once I was on my own.

I never got a chance to find out though. When I got
home on my last day of training, James told me I
had a message.

“A message?” I asked.

“Yeah. A phone message,” he told me, “from your
brother.”

How Tim even knew I was here, I wasn’t sure. I
called him back. “Hey, Tim, how did you know
where to find me?” I asked when he picked up the
phone on the first ring.

“You gotta come home,” he told me.  “Now!”  The
next words out of his mouth knocked the wind out
of me.  Suddenly, none of the progress I had made
in life mattered any longer….

Chapter 1

Finding out that Momma was in the hospital in
Intensive Care was hard to handle. As I hung up
the phone, I felt numb.

“What’s wrong?” James asked me.

“It’s Momma,” I told him.  “Tim said she’s been in
an accident and is in the hospital.”  I pulled out a
seat  and  just  sat  there  stunned.    I’m  not  sure  what
happened but according to Tim, Momma fell down
the  stairs  in  the  house  she  and  George,  my  step-
father, had moved into last year.

James took over and checked on bus schedules for
me  to  go  home,  as  well  as  purchasing  a  ticket  for
me.  “Do you want me to call your work for you?”
he  asked.    I  could  see  he  was  worried  about  me.
We  had  gotten  pretty  close  since  I  met  him  at  the
gas station a few months ago.

In some ways James was like a father to me…the

only father I’d really ever known.  Unlike George,
he tried to nurture me and lead me by example.  He
always  looked  out  for  my  well-being,  and  helped
me  overcome  the  obstacles  I  was  facing  in  life.
Now  that  I  was  going  to  have  to  return  to
Louisiana, I was going to miss having James there
as a positive influence in my life, and just someone
to talk to each day and lean on.

“No, I’ll call them,” I answered.

I  hated  to  have  to  give  up  my  job  before  I  ever
really got a chance to work on my own, but Sandy,
the  restaurant  manager,  said  that  she  understood
and that I could come back anytime.  “You just take
care of your Momma,” she told me before wishing
me  good  luck.    She  knew  some  of  my  background
with  George  from  the  interviews  I  had  before
getting hired, so she knew I would need the luck.

There wasn’t a bus until the next morning, so I took
my  time  to  pack.    I  packed  some  of  the  clothes
James  had  bought  me  after  I  started  living  with
him.    I’d  never  had  anyone  be  that  nice  to  me  for

no  reason  before.    I  cannot  believe  I  tried  to  give
him a blow job the first night as payment.  He was
nothing  like  the  other  guys  I  had  known.    It  was
nice to know there are still some good people out
there.    The  next  morning  when  he  dropped  me  off
at  the  bus  station,  he  gave  me  some  extra  money
just in case I needed it.

“I’m sure I’ll be alright,” I told him.

“Either  way,  take  it.    I’ll  feel  better  knowing  that
you have it in case anything happens.”  I agreed to
take  the  money  from  James  and  gave  him  a  big
hug.  “And you better call me if you need anything
else,” he yelled at me as I was boarding the bus.

As I sat looking out the bus window, I waved
goodbye to him. I was surprised to see a tear
trickle down his cheek, but I guess he knew I might
not be coming back.

The  road  that  lay  ahead  of  me  was  sure  to  be  a
bumpy  one,  so  I  tried  to  sleep  the  majority  of  the
way.  I would need all the strength I could muster
to deal with George again.

Chapter 2

The bus ride was long, and the seats really weren’t
very comfortable.  The one time I was able to get
to sleep, a little kid in the seat behind me woke me
up  by  kicking  the  back  of  my  seat  repeatedly.    I
turned around a few times, and gave the kid and his
mother  dirty  looks  without  being  too  rude.    The
lady did nothing to curb the behavior of her over-
exuberant son, though.

Even with the lack of sleep and comfort, the whole
bus  ride  was  immediately  forgotten  when  I  saw
Tim  outside  the  window  waiting  on  me.    He  was
dressed  in  a  pair  of  khaki  pants,  with  a  simple
powder-blue button down shirt.  He was always a
good  looking  guy,  but  time  had  definitely  helped
him  look  even  better.    His  hair  was  still  trimmed
short,  as  always,  and  his  cheeks  had  a  rosy  glow,
likely from the cool air outside.

He looked around from window to window before

locking eyes with me.  A sympathetic smile spread
across  his  face.    I  wanted  to  run  off  the  bus  and
give him a big hug and find out how Momma was
doing,  but  there  was  already  a  line  of  people
huddled  in  the  isle  waiting  to  get  off  the  bus.    I
knew  I  would  have  to  wait  for  my  luggage  to  be
unloaded  anyways,  so  I  sat  patiently  until  a  nice
older man allowed me to get out in front of him.  I
nodded  thank  you  before  proceeding  to  exit  the
bus.

“It’s good to see you,” Tim said, as he lifted me up
in a bear hug.

“I’ve  missed  you,  too.    But,  how  is  Momma?”  I
asked.    It  felt  really  good  to  be  in  Tim’s  arms
again, but I wasn’t here for  him.    I  needed  to  find
out how Momma was and see her.

“I’ll take you to see her,” Tim said with a serious
look.    It  didn’t  slip  past  me  that  he  didn’t  really
answer  my  question.    I  could  feel  a  sickness
forming  in  the  pit  of  my  stomach.    I  didn’t  know
how  I  would  do  it,  but  I  needed  to  try  to  prepare

myself for the worst.

Luckily, the hospital was only a few minutes from
the bus depot. As soon as Tim loaded my bags in
the back of his truck, we were on our way. He
tried to make small talk as he made the drive, but it
was hard for me to focus on anything but Momma.

I  saw  the  hospital  approaching  and  started  getting
really  nervous.    We  had  to  weave  through  a  maze
to get to the parking garage, which I was surprised
was a paid parking lot.  I never really thought of a
hospital as somewhere anyone should have to pay
to park at.

“I’m just going to warn you that she’s a little beat
up…well, banged up,” Tim told me as we rode the
elevator up to the fourth floor, where Momma’s
room was. I felt like I was going to vomit, but I
tried to breathe to calm myself down.

When we got to Momma’s room, the nurse told us
that she was sleeping and that we shouldn’t bother
her.

“I’m her son,” I told the nurse. “I just got here, and
need to see her. Can I just sit with her, quietly?”

The nurse was sympathetic and told me that I could
sit with Momma for a few minutes as long as I was
quiet and didn’t disturb her.

“I’ll wait out here,” Tim said, knowing that I might
want some privacy with Momma. I was very
thankful to have such a great big brother.

Momma  was  lying  still  in  her  hospital  bed.    She
looked  peaceful…like  she  was  just  sleeping.    I
could  see  black  and  purple  bruises  on  her  arm,
though.    Her  other  arm  was  in  a  cast.    I  was
shocked  at  first,  but  had  to  try  to  calm  down,  for
Momma’s  sake.    At  least  she  was  in  a  hospital,
with plenty of doctors and nurses all around to take
care of her.

I sat there for a while, making sure not to disturb
Momma but was still told that my time was up
after only about thirty minutes.

“The nurse kicked me out,” I told Tim as I walked

back to the waiting room.  He was sitting there all
alone, reading a magazine.  Before I knew it, I just
started  sobbing.    I  couldn’t  stand  seeing  Momma
like  that…not  being  able  to  help  her  or  even  hug
her was killing me.

Tim  stood  up  and  hugged  me  to  calm  me  down.
“Hey,”  he  said,  putting  his  hands  on  the  sides  of
my face.  “It’s going to be okay.”

After I calmed down, Tim asked if I wanted to go
get something to eat in the cafeteria. “No,” I told
him. “I’m not leaving Momma until she wakes up
and I get to see how she is.”

“Well, let me at least go and get you a coffee or
something to help you stay awake.”

I didn’t know what I would do if I lost Momma.  I
hadn’t seen her in a long time, but I didn’t want the
last memory to be of her hanging up on me when I
told  her  I  needed  help.    In  my  mind,  I  replayed
everything  about  George  kicking  me  out  and  all  I
had  been  through  since  while  Tim  was  off  getting
us some coffees.

“Hey,” I heard him say when he returned, which
snapped me out of my thoughts. “What are you
thinking about?”

“Just all that happened since I left home,” I told
him. Tim didn’t know the majority of it, and I
wasn’t sure I wanted to tell him.

“I hadn’t heard from you in a while,” Tim told me.
“I actually had to track you down on the internet to
find you.”

“How did you find me?” I asked, curious how he
knew to call James’ place.

He told me about how he called around but none of
my friends had heard from me, so he turned to the
internet.  After a few searches, he was able to pull
up  some  info  that  said  I  had  a  driver’s  license.
From  there,  he  was  able  to  get  the  address,  and
with that did a phone number search.

“It wasn’t easy,” he told me. “I’m glad I was able
to get a hold of you though. I wish it were under
better circumstances, but I did miss you, Logan.”

“I missed you too, Tim. But, I owe you an
apology.”

“For what?”

“Well,  for  a  couple  things,”  I  told  him.    “First,
there’s  how  I  behaved  when  I  was  staying  with
you.    I  wasn’t  very  respectful  of  you  or  your
place…what  with  staying  out  all  night  long  and
getting hooked on alcohol and weed.”

“I didn’t like seeing you that way, but I knew you
were  going  through  some  things.    Are  you  clean
now?”    I  could  tell  it  was  a  question  Tim  didn’t
really  want  to  ask,  because  he  didn’t  want  to  be
disappointed  in  me,  but  he  was  asking  only
because he loved me and wanted me to be well.

“Yeah. I am. But, when I left your place, I didn’t
have a friend to go see. I left because I thought you
were going to kick me out.”

“I would never have kicked you out,” Tim
interrupted.

“Well, that’s what I owe you the second apology

for….because  I  lied  to  you  about  why  I  was
leaving.”    I  continued  to  tell  Tim  all  about  what
happened  at  the  rest  stop  and  how  I  started
prostituting  myself  for  a  place  to  stay,  and  more
drugs and alcohol.

“Man, baby bro. I’m so sorry you had to go
through that.” Tim started to get choked up as he
was talking and it was making me feel like I would
start crying any minute.

“Stop that…you’re gonna make me cry,” I told him
which made him laugh…and lightened up the mood
a little bit.

I told him that I met Dirk and that things got a little
more normal for a little while. At least I had a
home to live in instead of going from place to
place each day.

Finally, I got to the part where I met James and he
took me in and wanted nothing in return, except to
see me succeed in life.

“He sounds like a good dude,” Tim told me as he

finished his cup of coffee. I had barely even
started on mine yet…I was so busy talking Tim’s
ear off.

“He is. I think you’d really like him.” Hopefully
one day, Tim and James would get to meet.

I remembered that I never called James to let him
know I made it home safely, so Tim let me borrow
his cell phone. As I was about to tell James
goodbye, I saw a doctor come out and talk to Tim.

“She  has  a  lot  of  internal  injuries.    She  is  awake
now, so you can go visit her, but you need to keep
it  brief.    She’s  got  a  long  battle  ahead  of  her  and
needs all of the rest she can get,” I heard the doctor
say  as  I  approached.    Since  I  only  heard  the  tail
end  of  the  conversation,  the  doctor  went  back
through  it  all,  so  I’d  know  where  things  stood.
Momma was still fighting for her life, and the next
few days would tell if she would make it or not.

As  I  walked  in  the  room,  I  saw  Momma  try  to
smile  at  me.    Her  voice  was  horse  and  it  seemed
as  though  her  breathing  was  shallow.    She

managed to call me over to her though.

“How are you, Momma?” I asked, as I pulled up a
chair next to her bed and held her hand.

“I’m sor- sorry, Logan.”  I knew it must be painful
for Momma to talk, so I tried to tell her to just save
her  voice.    She  needed  to  tell  me  something
though.  It was coming out almost as a whisper, so
I  had  to  lean  my  ear  closer  to  hear  her  over  the
medical  machines  and  traffic  in  the  hallway.    “I
didn’t want to let George hurt you.”

I wasn’t sure if she was trying to apologize for
letting George kick me out of the house, or say that
she let him in order to protect me from him. “Did
George do this to you, Momma?”

She didn’t answer right away, but I could tell from
the look in Momma’s eyes that he did.  Finally, she
nodded her head yes, before starting to cry.  I told
her  that  I  understood  and  that  I  loved  her,  and  sat
with her until she fell back to sleep.

Chapter 3

I  was  fuming  by  the  time  Tim  and  I  left  the
hospital.  I couldn’t believe that Momma might die
because of what George had done to her.  Well, I
could believe it…that was the problem.

“I need to see George!” My voice was cold, and I
didn’t bother making eye contact with Tim. I just
walked with a purpose to the elevator.

Tim scrambled behind. “What is it?” he asked.
“Did my Dad do that to your Mom?”

“Yes,  and  he’s  going  to  learn  never  to  put  his
hands  on  anyone  ever  again.”    I  knew  I  probably
didn’t  match  George  in  strength,  but  I  was
determined  to  hurt  him  as  much  as  he  hurt
Momma.

On the ride back to George’s and Momma’s house,
Tim tried to calm me down. After a while I had
the feeling that Tim was taking the extra scenic

path just to prolong me getting revenge on George.

“Come on, Logan. Be smart. You can’t go in there
and start a fight with my Dad,” Tim tried to
reason.

“Oh, and I should just let him throw Momma down
a set of stairs?!” I yelled back.

“No. I’m on your side. If he did this-“

“There’s no if he did anything….he did it!” I
interrupted.

“Okay.    So,  what?    You’re  going  to  go  in  there,
fists  blazing  and  try  to  put  him  in  the  hospital?
What  happens  if  he  puts  you  there  first?    Your
Mom needs you right now.  She wouldn’t want you
doing  this.”    I  knew  Tim  was  making  some  good
points but I was too angry to think straight.

When  we  did  get  to  George’s  house,  no  one  was
home.    I  paced  back  and  forth,  looking  out  the
windows waiting to see him pull up.  I even found
myself  looking  around  the  house  for  items  I  could
use  if  George  got  the  upper  hand.    I  imagined

bashing his head in with a fire extinguisher.

I ended up falling asleep in a leather recliner in the
corner of the living room. I should’ve sat
somewhere else if I wanted to stay awake, but the
chair was the only seat positioned so I could see
the driveway from the living room windows.

SLAM!

I jolted awake, and saw George at the door, in his
grease-covered mechanic clothes. He looked like
he hadn’t slept in days, but he wasn’t going to get
any sympathy from me…not after he was
responsible for Momma being in the hospital.

“What are you doing here?” George asked, as if
everything was fine with Momma and there was no
reason for me to be in his house.

“Waiting for you,” I said. My voice was hard as
steel and I’m sure George knew why I was there.

“Ain’t no sissy coming in my house and
disrespecting me!”

He started walking towards me as if to threaten
me. “What? Are you going to throw me down the
stairs too?”

“Who do you think you’re fucking talking to?”
George asked, but it wasn’t really a question. It
was more of a threat.

I stood my ground though, as he approached me. “I
know what you did to Momma,” I told him.

He didn’t say anything back…he just grabbed me
and drug me to the door. It was like when I first
came out to Momma all over again.

“Don’t you ever bring your faggot ass around here
again,” he told me as he threw me from the front
porch onto the grass.

I saw the upstairs light turn on, and heard Tim
yelling at his Dad before coming out to check on
me.

“What happened?” he asked.

I told him that George just threw me out and that I

intended to call the police to have George
arrested. Tim tried to talk me out of it, but I
sensed it was only out of obligation to his Dad.

I didn’t feel right about asking Tim to use his cell
phone  to  call  the  police  on  his  Dad,  so  I  walked
down the road to the corner gas station and used a
pay phone.  Tim didn’t try to stop me, but told me
he  needed  to  be  with  his  Dad  when  the  police
came.

After  I  made  the  call,  I  walked  back  to  George’s
house  to  wait.    I  didn’t  want  him  to  try  to  run
before the police arrived.  I assumed Tim told him
what I was doing.  I listened to them argue for the
better  part  of  an  hour  before  finally  seeing  the
police cars arrive.

The  police  read  George  his  rights  and  then
handcuffed  him,  before  leading  him  to  their  cars.
As  he  walked  silently  with  them  he  glared  at  me
the entire time.

“Don’t you forget what I told you, Son,” he yelled
back to Tim before they closed the car door on

him.

“What’d he tell you?” I asked Tim…not even sure
if he was still talking to me. After all, I did have
his Dad arrested.

“He told me not to let you in the house,” Tim said.

“I’m sorry I had to put you in the middle of thi—,”
I started to say.

“Hey.  I’m on your side, baby bro.  I love my Dad
because  he’s  my  Dad…but  I  love  you  and  your
Mom too.  What my Dad did wasn’t right…so get
your butt in here and get some sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Tim answered me by pulling me
into a big bear hug and then leading me up to the
front door.

That  night,  we  shared  a  room,  just  like  we  did
when we were little.  It was nice getting to be near
Tim  again.    I  was  so  worried  about  Momma,  and
having  Tim  beside  me  helped  me  calm  down  a
little and at least know that I wasn’t going through
it alone.

Chapter 4

I went back to the hospital the next day to visit
Momma again, but the doctors told me she was
doing worse and that I would have to let her rest.

While  I  was  in  the  waiting  room,  some  police
officers came in to speak with Momma’s doctor to
verify  if  the  injuries  she  sustained  appeared  as
though  they  could’ve  been  inflicted  during  a
struggle.    I  overheard  the  doctor  say  that  most  of
her  injuries  were  caused  by  the  fall  down  the
stairs,  but  that  she  did  have  bruise  marks  on  her
wrists  and  neck  that  were  likely  from  a  fight  with
someone.

As the officers were walking away, I asked them if
George would remain locked up.

“Son, it looks as though your Step-Father will face
charges for this, but that’s really up to the D.A. to
decide. This case is severe enough that I don’t
think the case will be dropped. However, he still

could get bonded out.” The officer went on to tell
me that it was probably in my best interest to get a
restraining order from George as soon as
possible.

Tim was running some errands, but I asked him if
he would take me by the courthouse the next day so
I  could  get  the  restraining  order.    He  was  kind  of
quiet, but agreed to take me.    I  wanted  to  ask  him
what  was  on  his  mind,  but  I  heard  a  large
commotion at Momma’s room.

“What’s  going  on?!”  I  yelled  to  try  to  be  heard
over  the  commotion,  but  no  one  answered  me.
Once  they  were  able  to  stabilize  Momma  the
doctor  explained  to  me  that  Momma  was  very
weak and her body was giving up.

“You can go visit her for a few minutes, but you
probably should say your goodbyes to her soon,”
the doctor told me.

I  suddenly  felt  numb.    The  doctor  basically  just
told  me  that  Momma  was  about  to  die,  yet  he
seemed  like  he  was  just  giving  me  advice  on

dating  or  something.    It  didn’t  feel  real  to  me.    I
just  had  to  focus  on  Momma,  though.    I  knew  she
could  get  better…she  just  needed  the  will  to  do
so.

“Hey, Momma,” I said with a smile as I sat down
next to her.  I had planned on putting a fake smile
on my face when I saw her to keep her spirits up,
but when I saw her I was just so happy to be able
to  have  even  a  little  time  with  her  that  the  smile
came naturally.  I wouldn’t focus on the negative.

“Are you okay?” Momma asked me, with a soft,
raspy whisper.

“I’m good. You look so beautiful, Momma.” She
smiled to that. It was hard to tell, but I’d like to
think she even blushed a little bit.

We talked for fifteen minutes, but I decided not to
tell  her  about  George.    I  know  she  loved  him  for
whatever  reason,  and  I  didn’t  want  to  chance
upsetting her.  Instead we spoke only about happy
things.    I  told  her  all  about  how  great  Tim  has
been, and that I planned to look up my old friends

while I was in town.

“I love you, Logan,” Momma said as I got up to let
her rest some more. A tear dropped from my eye
as I told her I loved her too.

I  stuck  around  the  hospital  almost  the  entire  day,
even  though  I  wasn’t  allowed  to  see  Momma
again.  I wanted to be there just in case.

Over the next few days, I did the same thing, other
than  the  hour  I  needed  to  get  the  restraining  order
against George.  I did get to talk to Momma a few
more  times,  and  the  doctors  seemed  to  think  she
was slowly gaining strength.

“She’s not out of the woods yet, but things do look
more optimistic,” they told me towards the end of
the week.

As I got used to the schedule of when I was
allowed to visit Momma and she was showing
more signs of getting better, I started spending less
time at the hospital.

I missed Flo and Aaron, and wanted to hang out

and catch up with them some while I was in town.
Tim took me to get a rental care for the week. I
met Flo at the restaurant she worked at one evening
before her shift.

“I missed you so much,” she told me as she ran to
hug me.

“I missed you too, but don’t knock me over,” I
replied with a laugh.

We sat around talking for close to an hour.  I told
her about how I felt like there was no place for me
before,  so  I  left.    I  also  told  her  about  how  I
survived  by  prostituting  myself,  but  made  her
promise  not  to  tell Aaron.    I  still  had  feelings  for
him and didn’t want him to think poorly of me.

“Is that why you’re back in town? To sweep
Aaron off his feet?” she laughed.

I  couldn’t  believe  I  hadn’t  told  her  about  Momma
yet.    I  guess  I  thought  maybe  she  already  knew.
“No,”  I  told  her,  “I’m  here  because  Momma  is  in
the hospital.”  I told her all about how George had

thrown Momma down the stairs and she almost
died.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Flo said.

“It’s okay. She seems to be getting better, and
George is locked up.”

When the time came for me to say goodbye so Flo
could get to work, she suggested we hang out on
the weekend…just me, her and Aaron.

“That’ll be fun,” I told her.

Over  the  next  two  days,  I  found  myself  thinking  a
lot about Aaron.  I was surprised when Flo told me
he was single.  The last time I saw Aaron, he was
being  drooled  over  by  every  girl  in  school.    I’m
sure  he  only  looked  hotter  now,  and  could
probably have his choice of any guy or girl that he
wanted.

When  the  weekend  arrived,  I  found  myself  with
sweaty palms as I waited outside the café we were
all  to  meet  at  for  lunch.    It  was  a  really  nice,
breezy day with a bright blue sky.  If it weren’t for

Momma still being in the hospital, it would’ve
been a perfect day.

As  I  saw  Flo  get  out  of  the  driver’s  seat  of  an
older, red Ford sedan I noticed that one of my legs
was shaking uncontrollably.  It was a nervous habit
of mine.  I had to focus hard to stop it and not start
it up again as I saw the passenger door of Flo’s car
open and Aaron step out.

“Hey, Stud,” he said with a sexy wink as he waved
hello  to  me.    He  looked  even  better  than  I
imagined.    Time  had  only  allowed  him  to  get  in
better  shape,  if  that  was  even  possible.    He  was
wearing  a  pair  of  faded  jeans  and  a  v-neck  shirt.
The only other place I had ever seen guys as hot as
Aaron  was  now  was  on  the  movie  screens  at  the
theaters.

I stood up and hugged Aaron as he got to the table.
I  know  I  was  holding  on  too  long,  because  I  saw
Flo  give  me  a  knowing  glance.    I  didn’t  care.    I
was  exactly  where  I  wanted  to  be,  and  Aaron’s
arms around me felt more right than anything I had

felt since I left home and ran away.

The three of us talked almost until sundown. It
was then that I remembered I hadn’t been to see
Momma yet for the day.

“I gotta go, you guys.  Sorry.  Visiting hours at the
hospital  will  be  up  before  long.”    They
understood, and when I hugged them each goodbye,
I felt Aaron lightly kiss the side of my neck.  In that
moment, I wanted him so badly.  My dick began to
stiffen  and  if  we  weren’t  outside  and  Flo  wasn’t
there, I probably would’ve gotten it on with him on
the outside table.  But, I needed to go see Momma.
Before I drove off, though, Aaron did give me his
number and I told him I’d call him when I got home
from the hospital.

“Drive safe,” Flo yelled as I left the shopping
plaza.

I stopped at the house really quickly to change
since I was getting all sweaty. I wanted to look
and smell nice for Momma.

“Where have you been?!” Tim yelled at me as I
entered the living room.

“I was out with Flo and…”

“Well, I’ve been trying to find you for the last hour
and a half!” he interrupted. “The hospital has been
calling you. Something is wrong with your Mom.”

Chapter 5

I immediately turned around and ran down the
porch steps to the car.

“Wait up,” Tim said. “I’m coming with you!”

I  drove  a  little  too  fast,  but  I  was  lucky  to  not  get
pulled over by the cops.  Tim told me to pull up to
the  curb  and  go  in  while  he  took  my  car  to  find  a
parking space.

As  I  ran  down  the  maze  of  hallways,  I  could  feel
my  heart  racing.    It  wasn’t  from  the  running,  but
from  worrying  about  Momma.  What  did  the
hospital need to tell me?

As soon as I approached the nurse’s station, I was
told  by  the  nurse  that  they  would  page  Momma’s
doctor.    Instead  of  waiting  for  the  doctor,  I  ran  to
Momma’s room but found it empty.

As I turned around I bumped right into Momma’s
main doctor.

“Where’s Momma? Did she have to have another
surgery?” I asked.

The  doctor’s  answer  seemed  almost  surreal.    I
remember  him  telling  me  that  Momma  had  died
earlier  in  the  day,  but  it  seemed  like  it  was  a
dream.  Momma couldn’t be dead!

The next thing I knew, I was at home on the couch.
Tim  told  me  that  I  had  fainted  as  he  was  coming
into the hospital.  I was only out for a few seconds,
he said…but I don’t remember any of it.  How did
Tim even get me home?

Tim was great, and took extra good care of me.  I
just wanted to be left alone though.  Left alone so I
could sleep.  I didn’t care if I ever woke up.

Eventually,  though,  Tim  convinced  me  that  I
needed to be strong for Momma.  I still had to take
care  of  her  funeral.    Momma  wanted  to  be
cremated, partly because it was cheaper and partly
because  she  always  thought  it  was  a  bit  creepy  to
have  your  body  buried  where  people  would  be
walking over it in the cemetery all the time.

Tim  did  help  me  with  all  the  details,  and
surprisingly  planning  Momma’s  funeral  did  keep
me so busy that I wasn’t able to focus on knowing
that  Momma  was  gone  forever.    We  picked  out  a
really nice urn for her ashes.

Even though there wasn’t a body to bury, we still
had a funeral for Momma. There weren’t many
people to invite, but Flo and Aaron did show up as
well as a few of Momma’s friends and neighbors.
I think Momma would’ve liked it.

I  never  did  call  Aaron  when  I  got  back  from  the
hospital the night Momma died.  It was stupid, but
I almost blamed Flo and him for me not being with
Momma  when  she  died.    Deep  down  I  knew  it
wasn’t  their  fault,  but  I  still  felt  anger  and
resentment  inside  towards  them.    I  guess  it  was
easier than being mad at myself.

Flo  kept  calling  the  house  to  get  a  hold  of  me.
That’s  when  Tim  told  her  about  Momma  and  the
funeral.  I was happy to see my two friends at the
funeral,  and  was  even  touched  by  it…but  it  was

still too early for me to let go of the anger and talk
to them. I just kept myself busy until they left.

“You know, you can’t avoid them forever,” Tim
told me once we were back home.

“I’m not avoiding anyone,” I told him but we both
knew he was right.

A few days later, I did finally pick up the phone
when Aaron called to check on me. We arranged
to meet at the park by the house.

“Hey,” Aaron said as I walked up to the bench he
was sitting on.

“Hey.”    Neither  of  us  really  knew  how  to  start
things  off.    We  ended  up  just  sitting  there  for
several  minutes  in  silence.    I  found  it  to  be
comforting though.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said to him.

“For what?” Aaron asked.

“For blaming you guys because I wasn’t at the
hospital that day.”

He told me that it was fine for me to deal with
things however I needed to, but to just know that he
was there for me and always would be.

We ended up talking about the other time I was
mad at him…the time I ran away and left town for
what I thought was forever.

“I’m really sorry you thought that I didn’t care,” he
told me. “I know I should’ve asked my parents if
you could stay with us. I think I was just afraid
that things were moving along too fast.”

As we talked, it started to sprinkle on us and we
could see much darker clouds approaching, so
Aaron suggested we go back to his place.

When  we  got  to Aaron’s  house,  his  parents  were
both  home.    I  was  half  disappointed  and  half
relieved.  It was good seeing them.  Knowing that
they  were  home  would  keep  Aaron  and  I  from
moving too fast in the sex department.  That was a
good  thing,  but  I  wanted  to  be  with  Aaron  so
badly.

As Aaron and I sat on his bed talking and watching
TV his Mom poked her head in to remind Aaron
that they would be out late.

“Okay, Mom. Enjoy your reunion,” Aaron told
her. Both Aaron’s Mom and Dad went to the same
High School and it was their twenty-fifth reunion.

Once we heard them drive off, Aaron got up from
the bed and took his shirt off. He still was
wearing a wife-beater, but that almost made him
sexier looking than if he had no shirt on at all.

“Hey,” Aaron said. “I wanna ask you something.”

“Sure.”

“Where do we stand?”  I got goose-bumps when he
asked me that.  If he wanted to know where things
between us stood, there’s a good chance that he’d
like to get back together.  I can honestly say that I
can’t remember disliking anything about Aaron.  In
my eyes he was perfect and the thought of getting to
be  his  boyfriend  washed  all  the  sadness  from  my
life away.

I took a chance with my answer. “I like you,
Aaron. I think about you all the time.”

He smiled and told me that he thought about me all
the  time  too.    I  still  hadn’t  told  him  all  about  my
past  though,  and  wasn’t  sure  I  wanted  to.    But,  if
we  were  going  to  have  any  chance  together,  I
needed to be honest with him.  So, I sat there and
rambled  on  about  the  parts  of  my  life  that  I  was
most ashamed of.  Aaron just sat quietly and let me
talk.    I  couldn’t  tell  if  he  was  mad  at  me,  or
disgusted by me, or what.

“Well, say something!” I shouted as I finished.

Aaron got up from the edge of the bed, and walked
over to the bedroom door.  I figured he was going
to ask me to leave.  Instead, he closed the door and
turned  off  the  lights.   As  he  walked  back  towards
me,  he  undid  his  jeans  and  let  them  drop  to  the
floor.    He  stood  before  me  in  just  his  boxers  and
the  wife-beater.    I  could  smell  the  manly  scent  of
his  sweat  mixed  with  the  intoxicating  smell  of  his
cologne.

“How about instead of saying something, I let my
lips do the talking,” he answered. It was cheesy,
but sexy at the same time.

He leaned down to grab my hands, and pulled me
up  so  we  were  both  standing  up…one  in  front  of
the other.  I could feel Aaron’s breath on my neck
as  he  gently  kissed  it.    His  hands  had  found  the
bottom  of  my  shirt  and  he  was  lifting  it  gently  up
and  over  my  head.   As  he  kissed  my  ear  lobe,  he
began undoing the button on my pants.  As his hand
unzipped  the  zipper  I  felt  a  chill  run  through  me.
He  bent  down  as  he  lowered  my  pants  so  that  he
could  pull  them  off  of  my  feet.    As  he  did,  he
caressed  each  leg  and  thigh  softly.    It  didn’t  take
long for him to notice my tenting boxer-briefs.  He
found  the  head  of  my  dick  and  kissed  it  as  well.
That  kiss  was  as  soft  and  gentle  as  all  of  the
others.    Once  he  made  his  way  back  up  to  a
standing  position,  he  began  kissing  me  with  more
power  and  passion.    Our  lips  found  each  other  as
our  tongues  perfectly  danced  together.    I  was  in
heaven!

Chapter 6

I didn’t leave Aaron’s until late the next morning.
As  I  was  leaving,  Aaron’s  parents  asked  if  I
wanted any breakfast.  I wasn’t sure if they thought
I  had  just  slept  over  on  the  floor  or  if  they  knew
that Aaron  and  I  had  sex  the  night  before.    Either
way, they didn’t seem that upset that I had spent the
night.

When I got back to Momma and George’s house,
Tim told me that he needed to get back to school.
As it was, he would likely have to make up the
entire semester.

“I’m going to miss you,” I told him as I helped him
fold the clothes he washed so he could get his
suitcase ready.

“I know. I’m gonna miss you too, baby bro.”

“When do you graduate, Tim? It’ll be nice to
finally get to live in the same place, where I can

see you every day.” Tim just laughed and said it
would get here before either of us knew it.

“You can stay here as long as you want, since my
Dad doesn’t need the place at the moment.” Even
though he knew George deserved to be locked up, I
know Tim still felt bad. It was his Dad after all.

After Tim drove off, I thought about life and what I
wanted  to  do  with  mine.    I  knew  I  would  need  a
job quickly in order to live and pay the bills.  Flo
had  offered  to  get  me  a  job  where  she  worked
which was perfect for now because it would give
me  quick  cash  and  I  had  just  been  trained  in  a
similar restaurant.

The  manager  of  the  restaurant  was  a  guy  named
Benjamin who seemed very personable.  When he
interviewed  me,  I  could  easily  tell  why  everyone
liked him.  Several customers stopped by the booth
where we sat to either say hello or goodbye to him
as  they  were  entering  or  leaving  the  restaurant.
Benjamin seemed to know each of them by name.

“Since you have very little experience, Logan, I’m

going to start you out on a lunch shift. You’ll
shadow Flo for two days and if all goes well, I’ll
give you a dinner shift on your own.”

“Thank you. You won’t be sorry for giving me this
chance,” I told him. He had me take a menu home
to memorize and told me to be back the next day at
ten thirty.

I had Aaron and Flo over that night to help me
study the menu and teach me a little about the
policies.

“Benjamin  is  a  pretty  lax  manager,  but  he  has  a
few  pet  peeves,”  Flo  told  me  as  she  played  with
her long, black hair.  “Number one:  Never lean or
kneel while taking an order…always stand straight
up.”

“Number two,” Aaron chimed in, “Never let a
drink get under half full, unless the customer
requests that you stop refilling it for them.”

“And number three: NO CELL PHONES on the
floor!” they both yelled together which got them

laughing.

We spent the rest of the night with Aaron and Flo
pretending to be guests at the restaurant, in order
for them to quiz me on the menu or on how to
handle difficult situations.

In one scenario, Flo’s pretend food was cold and
she wanted it re-cooked. Meanwhile, Aaron asked
me if certain dishes had any gluten in them because
his character was allergic to wheat.

I messed up on a few things, but at least those
things would stay in my mind which was bound to
help me. Once I was burned out, we watched a
movie together and had a popcorn fight.

It was late when Flo and Aaron left, but I wanted
to stay up just a little longer and study the menu.
Since Flo and Aaron went out on a limb to vouch
for me with Benjamin, I didn’t want to let them
down.

Morning arrived way to fast for me, but I pulled
myself into the shower to wake up and managed to

get myself dressed and to my new job in time for
my shift. Flo was already there waiting for me and
quizzed me quickly before the shift started.

The  restaurant  didn’t  officially  open  for  another
hour, so we had to prep certain things like getting
the  silverware  ready,  making  tea,  cutting  lemon
wedges,  and  scooping  the  cinnamon  butter  we
served with the rolls.  Benjamin called me into his
office  to  give  me  back  my  ID  and  Social  Security
card.

“Remember,  Logan,  just  stay  with  Flo  today.    I
want  you  to  shadow  her.    It’s  fine  to  help  carry
food or drinks or clear the tables with her, but let
her do the talking to the customers.  Just observe.”
He  didn’t  want  me  speaking  to  customers  until  he
knew I was ready.  It was fine with me, because I
was really nervous still.  Shadowing a friend made
it  easier  and  less  uncomfortable,  but  any  new  job
comes with butterflies.

I made it through that first shift without spilling
anything on any of the guests. That’s not to say that

I didn’t spill a few things on the floor.  Flo helped
me  clean  up  the  messes  quickly  though,  and
Benjamin  still  seemed  pleased  with  how  well  I
did.   At  the  end  of  the  shift,  he  quizzed  me  on  the
menu  and  was  surprised  at  how  well  I  knew  the
names and ingredients of everything.  As long as I
did better the next day at lunch, Benjamin said he’d
put me on the schedule for Monday night.

Since  I  wasn’t  getting  any  tips,  I  was  paid
minimum wage instead of the two dollars an hour a
waiter normally makes.  Flo tried to split her tips
with me since she did alright for a lunch shift…she
said  that  people  probably  tipped  extra  because
they knew two waiters were doing the work.

“I’m not going to take your money, Flo,” I told
her. “But, if you want, we can use a little of it to
rent a movie and get some snacks and have a night
in with Aaron.”

“Alright, but I ain’t serving you punks!” I laughed
and told her that attitude wasn’t going to get her a
very good tip.

We ended up watching three movies and having a
really good time, but we called it a night earlier
than we wanted to since all three of us had to go to
work the next morning.

I  did  better  on  my  second  lunch  shift.    Flo  let  me
do  most  of  the  carrying  and  cleaning  to  show
Benjamin  that  I  was  capable.    This  time,  I  didn’t
drop  anything.    I  think  I  had  a  little  more
confidence  now  that  I  knew  the  layout  and
workings of the place a little more.

“You did very well,” Benjamin told me as Flo and
I were doing our side work at the end of the shift.
“Are you all ready for Monday night?” I told him I
would not let him down.

Flo was off Monday, but I would still get to work
with Aaron.    I  loved  looking  at  him,  so  I  hoped  I
could  keep  my  mind  on  the  tables  and  customers.
It  was  only  a  four  hour  shift,  so  I  figured  I  could
manage.    We  already  made  plans  for  me  to  spend
the night with Aaron anyway that night.

I slept in pretty late that Sunday night, and only

woke  up  an  hour  before  I  was  supposed  to  leave
for work.  I made sure my hair was perfect and that
my shirt and apron had no wrinkles in them.  I even
made sure to add extra flair to my uniform.  I was
nervous and wanted to look my best.  Even though
I had already worked two shifts, this was like my
true first day.

The  shift  started  off  slow  with  just  two  tables  the
first  hour.    Flo  had  trained  me  well  though,  so
everything  flowed  smoothly  along.    As  the  night
went  on,  I  got  up  to  six  tables  at  a  time.    The
hardest  part  for  me  other  than  sneaking  peaks  at
Aaron was when I would try to take a table’s order
and they weren’t ready yet.  I would try to let them
know  I  would  come  right  back  so  I  could  take  a
drink  order  for  a  table  that  had  just  been  seated,
but they didn’t want me to leave.  By not knowing
how  to  break  away  without  being  rude,  it  left  me
having  the  new  table  waiting  a  long  time  for  their
drinks.    I  made  sure  to  tell  all  of  the  tables  that  I
was new though, and no one seemed too put off by
my service maybe being slower in some areas than

they  were  used  to.   At  the  end  of  the  night,  I  still
made eighty-four dollars.  Not too shabby for four
hours  of  work.    Aaron  made  over  a  hundred,  but
didn’t rub it in too badly.

“So, you made it through your first shift. I’m so
proud of you,” he said in a playful way as we
rolled silverware before heading out.

“I thought I was going to drop my plates of food a
few times when I saw your sexy ass walking by,” I
teased him in a whisper. He just winked at me.
God, he was so sexy!

I told him I was going to get home and shower and
change and then I’d head over to his place.

“Okay, just don’t take too long.”

When I turned onto the street with George’s house,
I noticed that there were lights on inside. At first I
thought maybe the place was being robbed, but as I
got closer I saw George throwing my stuff out onto
the lawn. Luckily it was nighttime and he didn’t
seem to notice me as I drove by.

“What  happened?    You’re  not  changed…”  Aaron
said  as  he  welcomed  me  into  his  place.    “Oh,  I
know….    You  wanted  to  shower  with  me.”    He
winked at me and I almost forgot the real reason I
was there without showering and changing first.

“No,” I said, although the thought of showering
with Aaron was a nice one. “George is home.”

Chapter 7

“What?” Aaron asked…not sure he heard me right
when I told him George was there.

“Yeah.  As I drove by, he was throwing all of my
stuff  out  of  the  house,”  I  told  him.    I  guess  I  was
stupid  to  stay  there.    It  was  his  house,  after  all.    I
just  figured  he  would  be  locked  up  for  quite  a
while.

Aaron  asked  his  parents  if  I  could  stay  with  them
for a little while and they welcomed me with open
arms.    They  knew  about  everything  I  had  been
through  with  George  and  said  they  thought  of  me
like a son.  It felt really good to have people make
me  feel  loved  and  wanted.    And,  it  felt  even
greater knowing that Aaron did ask his parents if I
could stay with them this time.  It was the one thing
about  the  past  I  still  resented  a  little,  no  matter
how much I tried not to.  Now the slate was wiped
clean.

Both Aaron  and  I  were  off  work  the  next  day,  so
we  decided  we  would  stay  up  late  and  wait  until
George  was  asleep  so  we  could  quietly  try  to
retrieve  my  things  from  the  front  lawn  of  his
house.  I’m sure it would’ve been a smarter idea to
call  the  cops  and  have  them  meet  us  there  as  we
gathered  my  stuff,  but  I  really  didn’t  want  to  see
George.  I just needed my clothes.  I really didn’t
have much, but what I did have I couldn’t afford to
replace right now.

“I really just want to go over there and kill him…
like he killed Momma,” I told Aaron.

“I know. I would love that, too. But what would I
do when you’re locked up in prison?” Aaron had
a good way of calming me down and getting me to
think past my hatred for George.

We  drove  to  George’s  place  in  Aaron’s  truck  so
we’d  be  less  recognizable  and  we  could  quickly
just  throw  the  stuff  in  the  bed  of  the  truck  and  get
going if we got caught.

We parked a few houses away and did a stake-out

of sorts first to make sure George was not awake.
As we sat there watching the house for movement,
Aaron and I talked.

“You know, you’re really lucky to have the parents
you have,” I told him. I know he loved his parents,
but I hope he appreciated them as well.

“I know,” he said.  “You know who else is lucky?
Me…for  having  such  a  wonderful  boyfriend.”    It
was the first time since we had been back together
that  he  called  me  his  boyfriend  and  I  really  liked
hearing him say it.  I had him repeat it a few more
times.    Finally,  he  had  to  kiss  me  just  to  shut  me
up.

We  sat  in  the  truck  a  good  hour  before  taking  a
chance  on  getting  my  things.    There  had  been  no
lights  on  inside  or  even  any  movement  that  we
could  tell  so  George  was  likely  asleep.    He  was
probably  passed  out  in  a  drunken  stupor  on  the
couch.    I  don’t  know  what  Momma  ever  saw  in
him.

Aaron reminded me to leave the truck doors

unlocked in case we were discovered and needed
to make a quick getaway. I suggested we leave the
keys in the ignition too.

The  adrenalin  was  incredible  as  we  tip-toed
around  the  yard  trying  to  gather  my  things  without
making  a  sound.    On  the  second  trip  back  to  the
yard,  we  heard  a  noise  that  freaked  us  out,  but  as
we made a mad dash for the truck we saw that the
noise was made by a stray cat hiding in the bushes.

“Chicken,” Aaron whispered to me.

“Hey,” I teased back in a hushed tone, “You were
running right behind me.”

After gathering the last of my clothes and toiletries,
we ran to the truck and drove off before we pushed
our luck.

“That was kind-of fun,” I said once we were out of
the neighborhood. I think both of our hearts were
beating out of our chests.

The next day we told Aaron’s Mom and Dad what
we had done and they didn’t seem to think it was

too funny.  They told us both that neither of us was
to  go  anywhere  near  George  again  unless  the
police  or  one  of  them  were  present.    It  killed  our
natural  buzz  a  little,  but  I  knew  they  were  just
looking  out  for  us.    We  promised  them  we
wouldn’t do anything so stupid ever again.

Chapter 8

Aaron’s  Dad  took  me  to  the  police  station  to  see
why  George  wasn’t  still  locked  up.    It  took  some
time to get someone that would speak with us, but
after  speaking  with  a  few  different  officers  we
were finally led to the officer in charge.

“It looks like your Step-Dad was released because
the District Attorney’s office dropped the
charges,” he told us. I tried to argue with him, but
he said there was nothing more that he could tell us
and that we should probably talk to the D.A. if we
wanted more information.

I did go to the D.A.’s office and was politely told
that George was released because there just wasn’t
enough evidence for a conviction.

I was pretty upset over it at first, but on the drive
back  to Aaron’s  house,  I  had  a  talk  with Aaron’s
Dad.    He  told  me  that  I  needed  to  get  on  with  my
life,  and  not  be  consumed  with  hatred.    Momma

wouldn’t want that. If I let George control me like
that, he won.

“Thanks,” I told Aaron’s Dad.

“No problem,” he told me.  “Anytime you need to
talk…I’m here.”  It was the first time I had a heart
to heart with a Dad.  I wished that I had a Dad like
Aaron’s Dad when I was growing up.  I’m sure my
life  would’ve  turned  out  quite  a  bit  differently.
Even  so,  I’m  happy  with  who  I  am  and  even  the
bad experiences I have had have shaped me into a
better  person,  I  think.    Besides  that,  I  might  not
have Aaron in my life if I didn’t have the life I was
dealt.

Even  though  I  made  a  decision  to  leave  George
alone  and  just  go  on  with  my  life,  he  apparently
hadn’t  made  the  same  decision.    I  started  getting
threatening calls at work.  We couldn’t prove they
were  from  George,  but  who  else  would  they  be
from.  Benjamin came close to firing me, but knew
it wasn’t my fault.

“You need to go to the police or court house and

get a restraining order,” he told me. “That way, if
he keeps calling or harassing you, you can get him
arrested again.”

“I already have one,” I told him.

“Well,  enforce  that  bitch  then.”    It  was  funny
hearing Benjamin talk like that.   I think the whole
situation  stressed  him  out.    I  don’t  blame  him
though.  It wasn’t even his problem, but he was the
one left dealing with it.

“I know someone you can hire that would take care
of  that  bastard  for  the  right  price,”  Flo  joked.
When  she  told  me  that,  I  actually  considered  it.
Luckily,  though,  I  didn’t  have  any  money.    I  kept
trying to remember my talk with Aaron’s Dad and
not  sink  to  George’s  level.    I’m  sure  his  behavior
was  just  retaliation  for  me  getting  my  belongings
off of his lawn, but I was going to try to do my best
to  just  ignore  him.    Sooner  or  later  he  was  bound
to get tired and stop.

A few days went by relatively quietly, but the next
week after work, my car was vandalized. It

wasn’t the best car, since I didn’t have any money
when  I  got  back  to  town.    Tim  helped  me  get  one
financed, though, so I could get around after he left
for school again.  As Aaron, Flo, and I left work,
we  walked  into  the  parking  lot  and  immediately
noticed  my  car  had  the  word  “FAGGOT”  painted
across it.  The tires had also been slashed.

“Come on,” Flo said when she saw I was getting
really upset and angry, “let’s go report it to the
police.”

We  went  back  into  the  restaurant  and  called  the
police.  They showed up almost an hour later and
took our statements as well as one from Benjamin,
since  he  was  witness  to  the  threatening  and
harassing  phone  calls  that  George  had  been
making.

The  officer  wasn’t  overly  friendly,  though,  and
told  us  that  they  couldn’t  really  do  anything  since
we had no real proof that George was behind all of
it.  I kind-of got the feeling he was blaming me for
what happened, because I’m gay.

After the police left, I lost it and had a mini
breakdown.

“It’s not fair!” I screamed through my tears.  “First,
he  kills  Momma  and  gets  away  with  it,  and  now
this!  And, he gets away with it again!  That’s not
justice.”

Neither Flo nor Aaron really knew what to do or
say. They just held me and tried to calm me down.

Chapter 9

I’m sure Aaron’s parents wanted me to just forget
about George and how he has been making my life
hell, but I couldn’t take much more.

After getting up the next morning, I was determined
to  go  have  it  out  with  George  once  and  for  all.    I
wasn’t  still  the  little  kid  he  could  push  around.    I
showered  while  Aaron  was  still  sleeping  and
gathered  my  thoughts  on  exactly  what  I  wanted  to
say  to  George.    He  was  a  bully  and  I  had  always
been taught that bullies will keep bullying you until
you  stand  up  to  them.    I  had  never  put  that  theory
into  practice  though.    Adrenalin  kept  my  nerves
from taking over, though.

I  borrowed  Aaron’s  truck  since  my  car  was  still
covered  in  graffiti  and  needed  new  tires.    As  I
pulled around the corner and approached George’s
house  I  saw  three  police  cruisers  and  an
ambulance…all with their lights flashing.

The EMTs were carrying a stretcher back to the
ambulance. As I got closer, I saw it was a body in
a body bag.

I know it was stupid, but I pulled up to the house
and rolled down a window to ask what happened.

“The owner of the house was killed sometime last
night or this morning,” the young officer told me.
He looked like a rookie and probably wasn’t even
allowed to tell me what he did.

I drove away with a sense of peace. I know it’s
morbid, but at least I knew George was out of my
life and that he got in life what he gave to others…
to Momma. Maybe now, life could finally get
back to normal.

I called Tim after I got home to Aaron’s house and
told him what happened to George. He knew I
hated George and blamed him for Momma’s death,
but I was still a little surprised when Tim asked
me if I did it.

“Did what? Are you asking me if I killed your

Dad?” I was trying to be sensitive, but it really
hurt to have Tim ask me that…for him to think so
little of me.

“No.  I’m sorry.  Of course you didn’t, Logan.  I’m
sorry.”  I told Tim it  was  okay,  and  that  we  were
still good.  He was allowed to grieve however he
needed to.  He had always been there for me, and I
was going to make sure to be there for him now.

Tim  came  back  home  the  next  day  and  we  began
making  the  funeral  plans  for  George.    While  we
were  at  the  house  making  calls  to  the  various
people  who  handled  Momma’s  funeral,  Tim  got  a
call  from  George’s  lawyer.    They  set  up  an
appointment for the next day, and I tagged along.

Apparently,  George  had  an  insurance  policy
through  his  work  that  paid  one  hundred  thousand
dollars.  George also had another one hundred and
fifty  thousand  dollars  in  savings,  personal  life
insurance  and  stocks  and  bonds.    Tim  and  I
believed  that  most  of  the  money  from  his  savings
was  the  life  insurance  from  Momma,  so  Tim

wanted to split everything with me down the
middle.

“Do you want to keep the house?” Tim asked me.  I
told  him  that  since  it  wasn’t  paid  for,  we  should
sell  it.    I  didn’t  want  to  really  live  in  the  house
where  George  killed  Momma  anyways.    Tim
agreed and said he would make some calls to have
some people do everything needed to get the house
sold.

I  felt  bad  for  Tim.    He  was  just  trying  to  go  to
school  and  get  a  degree  so  he  could  start  his  life,
and  these  things  keep  popping  up  that  are  putting
him farther and farther behind on his education.

Chapter 10

Tim  was  scheduled  to  return  to  school  again  after
George’s  funeral.    It  was  a  beautiful  funeral  and
there  was  a  large  turnout;  mostly  people  from
George’s  work.    We  did  have  a  reception
afterwards at the house, with food and drinks.

As  Tim  and  I  cleaned  up  the  mess  afterwards,  I
told  Tim  he  could  get  going  if  he  needed  to.    I
didn’t mind cleaning up the mess alone.  I wouldn’t
do it for George, but I would do anything for Tim.

“Naw. I’ll stay til morning,” he said. “It’s been a
really long day and I need a good night’s sleep
anyways.”

I stayed with Tim that night and let Aaron know I’d
be back over after Tim went home.  I hadn’t really
seen  much  of  Aaron  lately,  but  he  seemed  to
understand.    He  even  sent  Tim  some  flowers,  and
his condolences.

Before our alarms even went off the next morning,
we awoke to the sounds of banging on the door.  I
got  up  to  see  what  the  commotion  was  and  saw
there  were  two  police  cars  in  the  driveway.    It
freaked me out a little.

“Can I help you?” I asked the two officers and a
Detective that were on the other side of the door.

They  told  me  I  was  wanted  for  questioning  in
George’s murder.  Tim showed up and tried to tell
them  that  was  bull-shit,  but  they  insisted  I  come
down to the station to answer some questions.

“Don’t say anything without a lawyer,” Tim told
me as we left.

He  called  a  lawyer  and  they  met  me  down  at  the
station an hour or so later.  The police tried to ask
me questions when we first arrived, but I told them
I  wanted  to  wait  for  my  lawyer,  so  they  left  me
alone in a conference room.

Once Tim and the lawyer arrived, I told them that I
didn’t know why I was being questioned and that I

didn’t do it.

The lawyer told me to go ahead and answer
whatever questions the police had for me, at least
until he told me to stop.

“Just be honest and keep your answers short and
concise,” he told me.

The  officers  asked  a  lot  of  questions  about  the
vandalism  to  my  car  the  night  before,  and  about
how Aaron  and  I  snuck  over  to  George’s  late  one
night  to  collect  my  clothes  off  the  lawn.    I  guess
their  theory  was  that  if  I’d  sneak  over  late  one
night for that, I’d also sneak over late one night to
murder him.

Next they asked me about my driving by the house
the  next  day…and  asking  the  officer  what
happened.    I  told  them  that  I  was  going  over  to
George’s to have it out with him once and for all.
It  probably  wasn’t  the  greatest  choice  of  words,
since I didn’t really have an alibi.

By the time the officers started saying that I

matched the description of the murderer that they
received from a witness, my lawyer called an end
to their questions. It was too late though. They
decided to arrest me on the spot.

“Tim, tell Aaron about what happened,” I hollered
at Tim as they were leading me to the booking area
of the station.

“I will. We’re going to get you home soon, so
hang in there, baby bro.” I could see the worried
look in Tim’s eyes as they led me away.

Chapter 11

Right  after  I  was  finger-printed  and  photographed
for my mug shot, I was released.  I figured that Tim
had bonded me out, but I was never asked to sign
any paperwork.  Tim wasn’t even there once I was
let go.

“Why am I being released?” I asked the desk
Sergeant. It seemed like a funny question, but I
was pretty confused as to what was going on.

“Someone else confessed to the murder,” he told
me.

Just then, I saw Aaron being brought in with his
hands cuffed behind his back.

“What’s going on?” I tried to ask Aaron as he was
being walked down a corridor, but he wasn’t able
to answer. I felt like I was losing everyone.
Momma was taken away from me, Tim was living
farther away for school, and now Aaron was in

jail.

I called Tim and had him take me to Aaron’s
parent’s house. I didn’t know if they were aware
that their son was arrested, but I needed to find out
what was going on.

When Aaron’s Mom answered the door, her
mascara was running and it was obvious that she
had been crying.

“What happened?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Aaron’s Mom said between sobs.
“My little boy said he killed your step-dad. That
can’t be true. My son’s not a murderer!”

I felt really bad for her and agreed that Aaron was
no murderer. I wouldn’t have believed it if he
didn’t confess to it. Even then, I didn’t really
believe it.

A  big  part  of  me  wanted  to  run  back  to  live  with
James and put this whole town  out  of  my  mind.    I
needed  to  be  strong  for Aaron  though.    I  now  had
the funds at least to get him a good lawyer.  I also

planned on seeing if bail had been set so I could
get Aaron home to his folks as soon as possible.

The  lawyer  wasn’t  able  to  meet  with Aaron  until
the  next  afternoon,  so  I  went  to  bed  feeling  so
badly  for  Aaron.    Knowing  he  was  in  jail,  all
alone and likely scared, made it really hard to get
any sleep.  I only hoped he knew I was thinking of
him and loved him.

After  interviewing  Aaron,  the  lawyer  told  his
parents  and  me  that Aaron  only  confessed  to  save
me  from  going  to  jail.    He  didn’t  think  I  did  it
directly,  but  he  figured  maybe  I  hired  someone  to
kill  George.    I’ve  never  had  someone  love  me  so
much  that  they  would  give  up  their  life  and
freedom  to  save  mine.    I  felt  tremendous  love  for
Aaron  at  that  moment,  but  I  had  to  get  him  home.
He  couldn’t  go  to  prison  for  something  neither  he
nor I even did.

The lawyer had a good private investigator on his
payroll, and did some investigating. The
investigator came up with a security tape showing

the  break-in  at  George’s  happened  hours  earlier
than  the  police  originally  thought  it  did.    At  that
time,  both Aaron  and  I  were  at  work,  with  plenty
of witnesses.

Even  that  evidence  wasn’t  enough  to  get  Aaron
released  right  away.    Eventually,  though,  the
lawyer  did  manage  to  get Aaron  and  I  cleared  of
all charges.

Chapter 12

Once  things  got  back  to  normal,  Aaron  and  I
discussed  moving.    There  was  just  too  much  pain
and  drama  for  us  to  stay  where  we  were.    We
wanted  a  life  together…one  where  we  could  be
happy  and  not  be  reminded  of  things  that  were  so
unpleasant.

“Would you like to move back to your
hometown?” Aaron asked me as we lay in bed in
each other’s arms one morning.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” Living in the last
place Momma was truly happy would be nice, but
I didn’t want Aaron to have to leave his parents
just to make me happy.

“I would’ve been going off to school anyways,” he
reminded me. “Besides, you’re Mister Moneybags
now, so we can fly home anytime we need or want
to visit.”

So,  that  day,  we  set  the  moving  plans  in  motion.
Aaron’s  Mom  was  pretty  emotional,  but  she  was
willing  to  let Aaron  make  his  own  decisions.    Of
course,  we  had  to  promise  to  come  back  for
Birthdays and holidays.

“We’re going to be here so much you guys will be
sick of us,” I teased them. It did get everyone
laughing.

We didn’t actually move for a few months.  I was
still  dealing  with  the  sale  of  George’s  house  and
we  wanted  to  find  a  place  to  live  before  moving
out.  I did end up flying back and forth to pick the
perfect house for us to buy.

By  fall  we  were  living  in  our  new  home,  and
making  plans  to  start  a  business  together.    Aaron
was  going  to  be  going  to  school  for  a  business
degree, while I mainly ran the business.  I wanted
to open up a cupcake shop since it was Momma’s
favorite  desert.    We  planned  to  call  it  “Momma’s
Delight.”    That  way,  Momma  would  always  be  a
part of my life still.

Chapter 1

The first few days in our new home were exciting.
We had no furniture yet, because I wanted to pick
that out together. It would be the home that Aaron
and I would hopefully spend the rest of our lives
in, so I wanted to make sure it fit us both.

We  had  heard  that  Washington  State  was  known
for  their  rain,  though  I  never  really  remembered
that  from  my  childhood.    We  got  our  first
introduction to it, however, that first night.  All of
the power was out when we pulled up to the house
after  our  long  three-day  drive.    Luckily  there  was
some firewood in the garage.

“I’ll get the fire going,” Aaron suggested, “while
you set out the food.” We had stopped along the
way and picked up some Chinese take-out.

“This  wasn’t  quite  what  I  was  expecting  our  first
night  in  our  very  own  home  to  be  like,”  I  told
Aaron  with  a  laugh,  but  we  both  agreed  it  was

kind-of romantic.  The look on his face as we lay
on  a  blanket  in  front  of  the  roaring  fire  was
beautiful.    His  whole  face  beamed  of  love.    I
hoped he saw the same love expressed in my face
because Aaron was everything I wanted.

The  power  remained  off  for  the  rest  of  the  night
and half of the next day.  We spent that time making
love  in  almost  every  room.    “Are  you  exhausted
yet?”  I  asked  him  after  our  sixth  or  seventh
session.

“What  are  you  talking  about?”  he  replied  with  a
sinister  smile  as  he  grabbed  me  and  pushed  me
against  a  wall.    “I’m  just  getting  started.”    With
that, he kissed me passionately.

I wanted so much to give into the passion, but there
was  still  a  lot  that  needed  to  get  done.    “That’ll
have  to  wait,  Tiger,”  I  told  him.    “We  have  to  go
by the college to see what we need to do to get you
enrolled.    We  also  have  a  three  o’clock
appointment  to  tour  the  school  I’ll  be  going  to.
And, we still need to get some furniture picked out

and delivered for this place.”

Aaron reluctantly agreed to a rain-check but got a
few more kisses in as we showered together.

As  we  drove  around,  running  errands,  Aaron
seemed  to  be  coming  down  from  the  high  he  had
been  on.    “Are  you  okay?”  I  asked,  though  I
already knew what was wrong.

“Yeah.    I’ll  be  fine,”  he  answered.    “I  just  miss
them…you  know?”    I  understood  how  he  missed
his  parents,  though  I  didn’t  really  have  anyone  to
miss.    I  had  been  on  my  own  for  a  while,  and  my
step-brother, Tim, lived far away.  I did miss him,
but I always missed him.  It wasn’t anything new.

“You know, you can call them,” I suggested.

“Is that okay?” he asked as if I would think he was
immature for missing home and his parents.  I gave
him  my  blessing  and  even  dialed  the  number  for
him.  As soon as his mom answered, Aaron’s face
lit up again.  The rest of the day he was his normal
self.    I  think  he  just  needed  a  reminder  of  his  old

life to ground him a little.  Even though I was with
him, I was sure it was scary leaving everything of
his old life behind.  I just hoped he knew I would
be  there  to  make  the  change  easier  on  him  in
whatever ways I could.

We were told that we both should be able to get
into school for the Spring Semester, which gave us
a few months to work at getting jobs and setting up
the house.

At  the  furniture  store,  we  picked  out  a  tomato-red
couch  that  was  so  soft.    I  imagined  Aaron  and  I
cuddling  up  together  on  it  in  our  living  room,
watching movies.  We paired it with black end and
coffee  tables  to  match  the  black  TV  stand  we
picked out.

For  the  bedroom,  we  just  got  a  simple  headboard
and  bed  frame.    Furnishing  an  entire  house  could
be  expensive  and  without  any  money  coming  in,  I
needed  to  make  sure  we  used  as  little  of  the
insurance  money  from  Momma  and  George  as
possible.    That  needed  to  last  us.    I  had  already

spent a big chunk of it on the house, and we would
still need a lot for the cupcake shop I planned to
open, though that would likely take close to two
years.

Once Aaron and I had jobs, hopefully we wouldn’t
need to touch that money again for a while.

The only other major things we bought were a TV
for the living room, and a washer and dryer.  The
little  things  like  shower  curtains,  towels,
silverware,  cleaning  supplies,  toiletries,  and
dishes added up quickly, though.

By the end of our first week, the house was
beginning to feel like a home. The furniture was
delivered, satellite and internet connected, and all
that was left to do was get jobs.

We had hoped on finding jobs together, like we
had before. It would save on gas money and allow
us to see each other more, but we weren’t able to
find any places looking to hire two people.

Aaron ended up getting hired at a hardware store,

which was a change for him but someplace I could
definitely  see  him  feeling  at  home.    I  was  lucky
enough to get hired at a small downtown bakery.  I
figured  if  I  was  going  to  open  a  cupcake  shop,  I
should get some experience at how things ran.

“So  this  is  our  new  life?”  I  asked  Aaron
rhetorically  as  we  lay  in  bed  the  night  before
starting our new jobs.  I had put so much effort into
being strong for the both of us, but I think he could
tell I was likely just as scared as he was.

He  took  my  hand  and  squeezed  it  gently  before
kissing me on the forehead.  “It’s gonna be okay,”
he  told  me  as  he  pulled  me  into  the  crook  of  his
arm.    Being  held  in  his  arms  made  me  believe
him.  All of my nerves and doubt disappeared and
I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2

I  had  to  get  to  the  bakery  at  six  in  the  morning.
Jodi,  the  owner  of  the  bakery,  was  already  inside
working.  I knocked on the  door  to  let  her  know  I
was there.

“Come  on  in,  Logan,”  she  said.    Jodi  was  in  her
early  forties,  I  would  guess.    She  had  shoulder
length, straight, black hair.  Even though it was so
early,  she  already  had  her  apron  covered  with
flour.    “Gimme  just  a  second  and  I’ll  give  you
some paperwork to fill out,” she told me.

As  I  was  filling  out  the  new  hire  paperwork  and
tax forms, Jodi told me that mainly she was going
to have me just follow her around and watch how
things  worked  for  the  day.    It  reminded  me  of  my
first  day  working  with  Flo  when  our  boss,
Benjamin, had me shadow her for two days before
getting a shift of my own.

“All done,” I said as I got up from the table in the

kitchen and handed Jodi my forms.

“Great.    Well,  let’s  get  you  an  apron  and  a  name
tag,”  she  told  me.    I  didn’t  know  her  well,  but  I
instantly liked Jodi.  She seemed to be very happy,
and didn’t come off as a typical boss.  She told me
she thinks of her bakery as an extended family, and
I could see why.  She had a warmth that just made
everyone  feel  at  home.   Aaron  didn’t  start  his  job
until later in the day, but I couldn’t help wondering
if his boss would be as cool as Jodi.

I spent the rest of the morning watching Jodi make
breads,  cakes  and  cookies.    There  was  a  lot  of
cooking involved, but she seemed to have it down
to an art.  By the time the bakery opened at ten, the
shelves  were  stocked  with  fresh  items  that  made
the place smell wonderful.

“Your main job is going to be to wash all the pans
and dishes, and stock the shelves,” she told me.
The shop didn’t stay steadily busy, but there were
bursts of shoppers which made up for any down
time.

While  I  restocked  the  shelves,  I  told  Jodi  a  little
bit  about  my  life  and  what  brought  me  and Aaron
out to Washington.  “I probably should’ve told you
I was gay when I applied,” I told her, hoping Jodi
didn’t regret hiring me.

“Don’t  give  it  another  thought,”  she  replied.
“That’s  your  business  and  no  one  else’s.”    She
went on to tell me about her girlfriend, Shae.  They
had  met  in  college  and  been  together  ever  since.
Shae  worked  as  a  bartender,  so  they  didn’t  get  to
spend  much  time  together  since  they  worked
opposite schedules.

She  didn’t  say  it,  but  I  think  maybe  Jodi  knew  I
was gay when I came in for an application, and it
was one of the reasons she hired me.  Either way,
it  was  nice  to  have  someone  to  talk  to  about  my
relationship  with  Aaron…someone  I  knew
wouldn’t be judgmental.

Before  I  knew  it,  two  o’  clock  had  come  and  it
was time for me to get off work.  “You did a great
job  today,  Logan,”  Jodi  told  me.    “I’ll  see  you

bright and early tomorrow morning.”

On my way home, I decided to stop at the store to
get something for dinner.  Aaron would be getting
home  just  after  six,  so  I  had  time  to  make  him  a
nice dinner to celebrate the completion of our first
day  at  our  new  jobs.    His  new  favorite  meal  was
spaghetti with meatballs, so I got the stuff for that,
as  well  as  some  veggies  for  a  salad  and  some
garlic  bread.    I  cheated  on  the  meatballs,  though.
As a soon to be culinary student, I should’ve made
them from scratch, but I was trying to save money
and  it  was  much  cheaper  to  just  buy  the  frozen
ones.  I was sure Aaron would still appreciate it.

Before heading home, I stopped by one more store
to get some cheap but nice candles, placemats, and
cloth napkins. It was an unnecessary expense, but I
wanted to make the table look as romantic as
possible.

By the time six rolled around, I already had the
pasta cooking, the sauce with meatballs simmering,
the garlic bread in the oven and the table set,

complete with flowers and lit candles. All I
needed was Aaron to walk through the door.

It  occurred  to  me,  as  I  saw  his  truck  pull  in  the
driveway that maybe he would be sweaty and want
to  shower  before  doing  anything  else.    As  he
opened the door, I was standing on the other side,
with  a  single  red  rose  in  hand.    “How  was  work,
baby?” I asked him.

He  hugged  me.    It  was  one  of  those  hugs  where  I
had  to  hold  him  up  almost  because  of  how
exhausted  he  was,  but  it  still  felt  great.    “It  was
good,  but  a  workout.    I  never  knew  how  out  of
shape I had gotten,” he told me as he explained that
he  must’ve  lifted  about  twenty  thousand  pounds
over the last eight hours.

“Well, I wanted to surprise you with a nice dinner,
if you’re not too exhausted to eat.”

His face lit up. “Food sounds perfect, and it
smells wonderful. Did you make me spaghetti?”
he asked before kissing me neck.

I walked him over to the table and he told me how
great everything looked as I fixed our plates and
drinks.

“Baby, this is too much…you’re spoiling me,”
Aaron told me to which I replied that I planned on
spoiling him for many, many years to come.

We  talked  about  our  jobs  and  bosses  as  we  ate.
Aaron’s  boss  was  a  man  named,  Mr.  Robinson.
Aaron  said  he  didn’t  really  get  a  chance  to  know
Mr. Robinson very well, but there were a few guys
he  worked  with  that  seemed  cool…even  after  he
told them he was gay.

“Oh, I’m stuffed!!!” Aaron shouted as he
stretched. “Can you take a shower for me…I don’t
know if I have the energy,” he joked.

He did get a second wind after dinner though, and
we watched a movie in bed. Aaron caressed my
chest and I fell asleep before the movie was over.
All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Chapter 3

Over  the  next  few  weeks,  Jodi  added  more  hours
to  my  schedule.    I  didn’t  mind,  because  I  wasn’t
able  to  see  Aaron  until  later  at  night  anyways.
Plus, I could use the money.

I  worked  from  six  to  two  washing  dishes  and
stocking  the  shelves,  though  Jodi  let  me  help  in
some  of  the  baking.    I  only  did  little  things  like
adding  the  water  or  yeast  into  the  mixer,  but  I
enjoyed  it.   After  two,  I  helped  out  in  the  front  of
the store with customers.

Mandy was the main cashier from two to ten. She
was around my age and nice enough. It took a little
while for me to get used to her goth look, but I was
definitely not someone with room to judge anyone
else.

Every once in a while, Dan, Mandy’s boyfriend,
would come by. He was the typical macho jock. I
expected to get a vibe of hostility or jealousy from

him, but he was always very warm and
approachable. I guess many Mandy told him about
Aaron.

“So, when are we going to meet Aaron?” both Jodi
and Mandy asked me on more than one occasion.

“It just so happens that he’s going to drop me off
and pick me up tomorrow, so we can have a date
night,” I told them.

Since Aaron  and  I  had  moved  to  Washington,  we
spent  the  majority  of  our  time  working  or
sleeping.  We decided that we would make Friday
nights our dedicated date night.  I wasn’t sure what
we  were  going  to  do…Aaron  wanted  to  surprise
me.

“Well,  it’s  about  time,”  Jodi  joked.    “I  was
beginning  to  think  he  didn’t  exist.”    She  had  seen
pictures  of  Aaron  and  me  together,  but  I  guess  it
was a little odd that he had never come by.  I had
met Shae and Dan many times already, yet they had
never met Aaron.

“You know, Jodi and Mandy are anxious to meet
you,” I told Aaron that night. I wanted to prepare
him.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “Should I be nervous?”

“Naw…just  wanted  to  let  you  know.”   Aaron  had
been  making  friends  at  his  job.    He  had  actually
hung out several times with a guy named Chris that
I had yet to meet.  I hadn’t said anything, but I was
a  little  jealous.    “So,  when  am  I  going  to  meet
Chris?”  I  asked,  hoping  my  jealousy  wasn’t
transparent.  I did trust Aaron.  I think I was more
jealous  that  he  was  out  having  fun  with  someone
besides me.  I figured I’d feel a little better if I met
Chris.

“How  about  next  Friday,  we  meet  Chris  and  his
girlfriend  for  a  double-date?”  he  suggested  as  he
finished  drying  off  from  his  shower  and  found  a
pair of shorts to throw on.

“Deal,” I said. Truthfully, I would’ve rather had
the date with just Aaron and myself, but I did want
to meet Chris so I agreed.

The  next  day,  time  seemed  to  stand  still.    I  found
myself watching the clock.  Jodi probably thought I
was going on my first date ever.  “Why are you so
nervous?” she asked around lunch time.

“I don’t know. I just want you and Mandy to like
Aaron,” I answered. It was silly. I had no
interaction outside of work with either woman, but
their

opinions

had

become

important

me...especially Jodi’s. I had grown to respect her
quite a bit.

“I’m sure we’ll both love him,” she reassured me.
“Now, get back to work!” she added with a wink.

She let me off thirty minutes early so I could wash
up  and  change  for  my  date.    I  wasn’t  sure  where
Aaron and I would be going  so  I  just  wore  a  pair
of  charcoal  slacks  with  a  blue  argyle  sweater.
Blue was my favorite color and Aaron joked that I
wore it too much.  I think he really just wanted to
steal some of my blue sweaters and shirts.

At exactly six, a black stretch limousine pulled up
to the curb. “I wonder if that’s some celebrity,”

Mandy said as we all watched to see who
emerged.

The  chauffer  got  out  and  opened  the  back  door.    I
probably  should’ve  expected  it,  but  I  wasn’t
prepared  to  see  Aaron  step  out  of  the  limo.    He
looked almost more handsome than I’ve ever seen
him, if that was possible.

The  weeks  of  hard  work  at  the  hardware  store,
moving lumber and heavy items, had bulked up his
muscles  nicely.    He  was  dressed  in  a  nice  black
suit  and  a  light  powder-blue  shirt.    His  hair  was
newly  cut  and  gelled,  and  in  his  hand  was  a  light
blue  long-stemmed  rose.    I  had  never  even  seen  a
blue rose.  I wasn’t sure if Aaron had a white one
dyed or what, but it brought a smile to my face.

As he walked through the door, Aaron couldn’t
contain his smile. We just stood there with goofy
smiles on our faces, while our eyes had their own
private conversation.

“This is for you,” Aaron finally said as he handed
me the rose.

“Thank you.”

“Are you ready for our date?” he asked.

“Yes,  but  first  I  want  you  to  meet  my  boss,  Jodi,
and  Mandy.”    I  made  the  introductions  and  could
tell  from  the  looks  on  their  faces  that  Mandy  and
Jodi approved.

“He’s hot,” Mandy mouthed to me as I headed out
to the limo.

Once we were alone, I gave Aaron a giant kiss.
“This must have cost a fortune,” I told Aaron, but
he silenced me with another kiss.

“Don’t worry about the expense. I made some
deals and it’s not costing much at all,” he
explained.

I decided not to ask what kind of deals he was
referring to and just enjoy the night that he
obviously worked so hard to plan.

Aaron explained that he wanted us to have a prom
night.

Our first stop was a chain restaurant for dinner.  It
wasn’t  anything  super  fancy,  but  I  loved  it.    “I
wanted  to  go  where  we  would’ve  gone  in  high
school,” Aaron explained.

Since we weren’t in high school anymore, though,
we  went  to  a  dance  club  for  our  second  stop.    I
wasn’t much of a dancer, but the D.J. was someone
Aaron  knew,  so  she  put  on  a  few  slow  songs  for
Aaron  and  me  to  dance  to.    I  knew  there  were
probably a lot of eyes on  us  since  it  wasn’t  a  gay
club,  but  I  didn’t  care.    I  just  closed  my  eyes  and
enjoyed the feel of Aaron in my arms.

After the club, Aaron announced that we were
hitting our final stop. “You have to wear this,” he
said as he handed me a blindfold.

“Really?” I laughed. I thought he was kidding.

“I’m serious, Mister. Put it on,” he ordered as he
helped place the blindfold on and make sure my
eyes were completely covered.

After about ten minutes, the limo stopped and

Aaron led me to what I sensed was an elevator. I
could hear other people in the elevator with us, so
I just stayed quiet.

As  we  exited  the  elevator,  I  could  feel  carpet
under  my  feet  and  heard  what  sounded  like  a
keycard  being  inserted  into  a  door.    “Are  we  at  a
hotel?” I asked.

“Awww.  You ruined the surprise,” Aaron said as
he  pulled  the  blindfold  off  my  head.    The  room
was  beautiful.    There  were  rose  petals  leading
across  the  floor  to  the  bed.    In  the  corner  of  the
room,  there  was  a  Jacuzzi  bathtub,  surrounded  by
candles.  “I was going to light those before taking
your blindfold off,” he apologized.

“It’s  perfect,”  I  told  him  as  I  pulled  him  into  an
embrace.    I  don’t  know  if  he  could  feel  it,  but  I
was completely turned on and hard.  As I planted a
deep kiss on his lips, I rubbed his crotch and found
he was in the same condition.

We took turns undressing each other as the Jacuzzi
tub filled up. Then, Aaron added some bubble

bath while I lit the candles.

By  the  end  of  the  night,  we  had  made  love  in  the
Jacuzzi tub, on the balcony that overlooked the city
and  twice  in  the  bed.    The  room  looked  like  a
tornado  had  hit  it.    There  was  water  and  suds  all
over  the  floor,  and  blankets  and  pillows
everywhere.

“Was that an acceptable date?” Aaron asked with
a grin as he straddled me and massaged my entire
body.

“That was perfect!” I told him. “But you set the
bar a little high. How am I supposed to top that?”

Immediately  I  saw  a  sparkle  in  Aaron’s  eyes.
“How about you top me instead?” he asked.  It was
cheesy,  but  that  didn’t  stop  us  from  making  love
one more time before we were completely spent.

Chapter 4

The entire next week, Jodi and Mandy went on and
on about how lucky I was to have such a sweet and
hot boyfriend. “I’m no lump of coal, myself, you
know,” I said, jokingly.

“Okay….Aaron’s lucky to have you too,” Mandy
added.

It  was  nice  to  have  a  little  group  of  people  that  I
could  feel  were  like  family.    At  the  end  of  the
week, we did go on the double date with Chris and
his  girlfriend,  Jennifer.    We  just  went  to  a  movie
and a burger joint, but by the end of the night, I felt
like  they  were  family  as  well.    We  made  sure  to
get  together  with  them  at  least  once  every  other
week either for a date night or game night.

As spring approached, we were just getting used to
our lives. Starting school was a little scary.
Aaron was going to keep his job and work only on
the weekends and I was going to keep working

Monday through Friday for Jodi, but just less hours
each day. Since neither Aaron nor I would have
classes on Fridays, we were going to keep up our
date night tradition.

“Are  you  excited  to  be  starting  culinary  school
today,”  Jodi  asked  as  we  stretched  the  dough  into
ropes for the loaves of bread.  She had been giving
me  more  and  more  responsibilities.    I  know  she
trusted me, but I think she  let  me  do  more  also  so
that  I’d  be  prepared  when  I  opened  up  my  own
shop.  I wanted to follow through for Momma, but
the thought of leaving Jodi made me sad.

“Yeah,” I answered.  “I really want to learn knife
skills.  I have no idea how chefs can cut things so
quickly  while  not  even  lifting  the  tip  of  the  knife
from the cutting board.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a pro in no time. Aaron’s
starting school today also, right?”

“Yeah,  he’s  likely  heading  to  school  right  now.
He’s probably more nervous than me, though.  He
has  to  take  a  lot  more  classes  to  get  a  degree  and

his school is a lot bigger. He’s always been good
at making friends, so I’m sure he’ll be okay,” I
said, even though I was nervous for him.

My life had so many ups and downs already that I
hated change. I knew change could be good and
that in a week or two, we’d be fine…but, for now,
I had so many butterflies in my stomach, both for
myself and for Aaron.

Jodi wished me luck as I headed out.

I  found  my  first  classroom  with  a  little  time  to
spare.    It  was  strange  to  enter  a  class  room  that
looked more like a large restaurant kitchen.  I took
a seat and looked around.  There were about thirty
stools  placed  around  the  large,  stainless  steel
tables but only a few students so far had arrived.
Almost  every  seat  was  filled,  by  the  time  the
instructor arrived.

We  started  off  by  going  around  the  room  and
introducing  ourselves  and  why  we  were  studying
the culinary arts.  “Hi, I’m Logan,” I said when it
was my turn.  “I want to become a pastry chef and

open  a  small  cupcake  shop  for  my  Mom.”    It  was
true  and  I  didn’t  want  to  make  anyone  feel
uncomfortable  by  telling  them  about  how  Momma
died and that it was my way of honoring her.

We  didn’t  get  to  do  any  chopping  or  cooking  or
anything that day.  The instructor showed and told
us about the things we would be learning over the
semester.  All of it excited me.

I  basically  repeated  everything  for  my  next  two
classes  which  were  also  taught  by  the  same
instructor.    Many  of  the  same  students  were  in
those classes as well.  I ended up sitting next to a
guy named Levi in all three of my classes.  It was
nice  to  have  someone  to  go  through  school  with.
Levi  was  eighteen  and  wanted  to  own  his  own
restaurant one day.

When  I  got  home,  Aaron  was  already  there,
looking  overwhelmed.    “You  know,  they  actually
gave us homework on the first day,” he complained
as I walked in the door.  There was a pile of books
on  the  coffee  table  and  I  immediately  felt  bad  for

him. He was taking all core classes that had
nothing to do with his major, so he wasn’t even
able to really enjoy the semester.

“How about I make you a nice dinner?” I
suggested.

“That sounds great, baby. I’m sorry…I’m being
rude. How was your first day?”

I tried to hold back my excitement, so I focused on
how we didn’t get to actually touch any knives or
food or anything. Still, I think he could tell I really
enjoyed school.

“What do you want me to fix?” I asked after putting
my school books away.

“Anything you make will be perfect,” Aaron
answered with a smile. “You’re my real life chef
now.”

“It’s only my first day…I’m not a chef,” I told him,
but I still felt great. Deep down, Aaron was more
of a meat and potatoes type of guy, so I decided to
grill some steaks and make some baked potatoes

and a small Caesar salad.

After dinner, Aaron told me he had to finish a
paper for his English class, but that he’d be quiet
when he came up to bed if I was asleep.

“You can wake me up if you want…as long as it’s
with a kiss,” I told him as I leaned down and
kissed his lips passionately.

“Mmmm. I can think of a few other ways to wake
you up too,” he suggested as I walked toward the
stairs.

“Be my guest,” I answered in as sexy of a voice as
I could muster.  “Don’t stay up too long though,” I
told him.  He got to sleep in longer than me, but I
still wanted him to get a good night’s sleep.  If his
first  day’s  workload  was  any  indication  of  how
school was going to proceed, he’d need it.

Chapter 5

After  a  few  weeks,  Aaron  seemed  to  get  into  a
groove  with  school  and  was  not  so  overwhelmed
by his workload.  There was still a lot of work, but
he was handling it well.

I had already learned so much in my classes.  Jodi
took some of the mornings off and let me make all
the baked goods for those days.  I liked the added
responsibility  and  loved  cooking,  but  I  did  miss
having Jodi to talk to as I worked.  She still came
in  at  noon,  though.    She  seemed  pleased  with  my
work.

The only time I messed up anything was on the first
day.  I ended up having to throw a few cakes away
and  start  over  because  I  didn’t  let  them  cool
enough  before  frosting  them.    The  cake  crumbled
into the icing and the warmth of the cake made the
icing  melt.    Jodi  was  cool  about  it  though  so  I
didn’t have to pay for the cakes.

I  didn’t  get  to  see  Mandy  as  much  anymore,  since
she didn’t even start her shifts until I was already
gone on my school days.  But, I sometimes stopped
by  and  visited  on  the  weekends  while Aaron  was
at his job.

“I hate that we never get to visit anymore,” Mandy
said as I helped her re-stock the shelves after the
lunch rush one Saturday.

“I know. Me too. But, I’m here now.”

“We need to go out sometime. Do you and Aaron
still do your Friday date nights?” she asked.

I told her we did. “We haven’t missed one yet,” I
said.

“Well,  this  Friday,  you,  and  Aaron  are  going  out
with me and Dan!”  It wasn’t a request.  It’s as if
she  had  decided  for  all  of  us  and  that’s  all  there
was to it.  No discussion.  I didn’t mind.  I thought
it would be nice to double date with her and Dan.

When I got home, I asked Aaron if it was okay.
“Sure, I like Mandy,” he said. He had never met

Dan, but I assured him that Dan was nice and that
they’d get along great.

I  went  to  bed  that  night  feeling  good.    Lately,
Aaron  had  seemed  more  distant  and  quiet.    I
figured  it  was  just  how  he  dealt  with  a  large
schoolwork load on top of working.  A small part
of  me  wondered  if  he  was  just  getting  bored  with
me.    Maybe  the  double-date  would  take  away
some of the monotony.

When  Friday  rolled  around,  I  got  ready  for  work
and  kissed  Aaron  goodbye  on  the  way  out.    He
loved  Fridays  because  it  was  the  one  day  of  the
week that he didn’t have to work or go to school.
He  could  just  sleep  in  and  relax.    “I’ll  see  ya  at
six, okay?” I asked as I put on my coat.

“I’ll be there. Have a good day, Sexy. I love
you,” he said with his eyes only half opened.

He looked so sexy, I had to run back over and give
him one last kiss even if he did have dragon
breath. “I love you too, Aaron. Now go back to
sleep.”

Jodi  had  swapped  shifts  with  Mandy,  so  she’d  be
free  to  go  out  on  our  double  date.    I  had  been
confiding in Jodi about how I thought maybe Aaron
was  losing  interest,  so  she  knew  how  important  it
was to me.  Besides that, I was looking forward to
spending  some  time  outside  of  work  with  Mandy
and Dan.

We decided to go out to a nice restaurant and have
dinner,  and  then  hang  out  back  at Aaron’s  and  my
place  for  a  game  night.    It  would  be  the  first  time
Aaron  and  I  had  ever  had  any  of  our  friends  over
to our home.  I was so excited.

“Are  you  ready  for  a  night  of  craziness?”  Dan
asked  as  he  came  into  the  bakery.    He  was  about
thirty  minutes  early,  but  there  weren’t  any
customers  so  Mandy  and  I  sat  at  a  table  with  him
and talked as we waited for Aaron to show up.

“I’m  so  jealous  of  all  of  you,”  Jodi  said  as  she
stood behind the counter.  I felt bad that she had to
stay  after  we  all  left,  but  she  and  Shae  had  their

own date night planned for after the shop closed.

Aaron  was  normally  very  punctual,  but  there  was
no  sign  of  him  at  six  o’  clock.    “Give  the  dude  a
few  minutes,”  Dan  told  me  when  I  seemed
worried.  “It’s a Friday night and there’s traffic.”

We chatted and joked around some more but by six
fifteen, I figured Aaron would have at least called
to let me know he was running late.  “I’m going to
call him,” I told Mandy.  The phone rang and rang
and rang.  Finally it just went to voicemail.  “Hey,
Aaron.  Where are you?  We’re waiting here at the
bakery.  Call me back if you’re on your way.”

I felt like I was in school calling a guy that I liked
that was avoiding me.  Maybe Aaron just overslept
and  was  in  the  shower,  or  maybe  he  was  on  the
way,  but  forgot  his  phone  at  home.    I  tried  to  be
positive, but the image of him just moving out and
leaving  me  kept  entering  my  mind.    I  knew  he
loved  me,  but  maybe  the  life  we  had  together
wasn’t what he wanted.

After waiting another thirty minutes and only

getting Aaron’s voicemail every time I tried
calling, I told Mandy and Dan to just go to dinner
without us. “I need to go home and see what’s
going on.”

“Well, call us to let us know everything’s okay,”
Mandy said and gave me a hug.

“We’ll get a table for four in case you guys are
able to come and join us,” Dan offered and gave
me a bro-hug.

My mind raced as I headed home. As I pulled into
the driveway, Aaron’s truck was not there. I tried
to prepare myself to walk in the house and find all
of his clothes and belongings gone.

When I entered, though, everything looked the way
it  always  did.    Nothing  seemed  missing  or  out  of
place or weird.  I called Aaron’s cell phone again
to see if maybe he left it in the house somewhere,
but  the  house  remained  silent  and  the  call  went  to
voicemail as it had the three previous times.

I waited, not knowing what to do, and finally my

phone rang.  As I looked at the caller id, I saw that
it  wasn’t  Aaron  calling.    “Sorry,  Mandy,”  I
answered.  “I forgot to call.”

“Well, what happened?” she asked. I could hear
Dan asking questions in the background.

“I don’t know. He’s not here, and he’s not
answering his phone,” I told her. She could hear
the tremble in my voice, I’m sure.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” she told me. “He’ll
show up. Do you want Dan and I to come over and
keep you company?”

I should’ve let them come over so I at least would
not be sitting alone worried, but I didn’t want to
ruin their night. “No. It’s fine. I’ll text you when I
know something,” I told her.

I  waited  a  few  more  hours  before  falling  asleep.
Around  two  in  the  morning,  I  was  awoken  to  my
phone  ringing  again.    I  looked  around  the  living
room  wondering  where  I  was  before  finding  my
phone in between the couch cushions.

“Hello?” I answered. I didn’t recognize the
number, but figured it had to be Aaron calling.

“Hello.” It was a lady’s voice. “I’m calling from
Westside General Hospital…”

I can’t even remember the rest of the call. All I
remember was showing up at the hospital to find
Aaron in a coma.

Chapter 6

Those first few hours at the hospital seemed like a
dream. I remembered asking the nurse for help on
where to go to find Aaron, but it still seemed like I
was watching someone else doing it.

I had to wait in the waiting room for several hours
while Aaron was in surgery.  The only information
I  received  was  that  he  was  in  a  wreck  and  in
serious  condition.    I  sat  with  my  phone  in  my
hands.    They  were  shaking  so  badly  that  I  had  to
hold onto something just to not go insane.

“Mr. Jones?” I heard a doctor ask. It took a
second for me to realize she was speaking to me.

“Yea-yeah…that’s me,” I spoke up, though my
voice was horse and barely audible.

The doctor explained to me that Aaron was in a
wreck and suffered many injuries. His ribs, arms
and a leg were broken, his lung punctured, and his

skull was cracked. The surgeries for his lung and
head went well but he was in a coma.

I  was  glad  I  was  sitting  down,  because  my  legs
immediately  went  numb.    Everyone  I  ever  cared
for has always gotten taken away from me.  I didn’t
want Aaron to be added to that list.

“I do need to ask you about his drug use,” the
doctor asked.

I stared blankly at her, thinking at first that she was
talking  about  someone  else.    For  a  second,  I
thought  maybe  the  person  she  was  talking  about
wasn’t Aaron  at  all.    Maybe  the  names  were  just
mixed up.  “Aaron doesn’t use drugs,” I answered.
“Are  you  sure  he’s  the  one  you  operated  on?”  I
asked  as  I  fumbled  for  my  wallet  to  show  the
doctor a picture of the two of us.

“Yes.    I  know  this  is  hard,”  the  doctor  replied.
“Aaron  had  modafinil  in  his  system.    We  also
found  some  of  the  pills  in  his  pocket.    It’s  a  drug
used  by  narcoleptics,  to  keep  them  from  falling
asleep.  More and more students use it now days to

improve their alertness and concentration when
dealing with heavy workloads.”

I told the doctor that I had no knowledge of Aaron
taking  anything.    I  knew Aaron  was  having  a  hard
time  with  school  in  the  beginning,  but  I  never
thought  he’d  turn  to  drugs.    I  didn’t  know  if  the
pills  he  was  taking  were  dangerous  or  not,  and
wondered if they were responsible for the accident
he  got  in.    Before  I  could  ask,  though,  the  doctor
was  paged.    “Aaron  will  be  moved  to  the  ICU
soon,  and  you’ll  be  able  to  visit  him,  but  just
briefly,” she told me as she started to leave.

When  I  saw  Aaron  in  his  bed  in  the  ICU,  tears
immediately  rushed  to  my  eyes  and  trickled  down
my  cheeks.    He  was  swollen  and  bruised,  and
almost unrecognizable.  Anyone looking at him that
had  never  seen  him  before  would  never  guess  he
was  as  handsome  and  beautiful  as  he  was.    He
looked  like  a  boxer  that  had  fought  one  too  many
rounds with an opponent who got in every punch.

“Hey, Aaron,” I whispered through my tears as I

sat beside his bed.  I was afraid to hold his hand or
even kiss his cheek for fear that I would hurt him.
He  looked  so  fragile.    “Hey,  sexy.    We’re  gonna
get you through this, okay?  You just stay strong,” I
told  him.    I  was  trying  to  hold  back  my  tears.    I
didn’t  know  what  he  could  hear  or  sense,  so  I
wanted him to only hear happiness and love in my
voice.  Holding back the tears was like stopping a
flood with a cotton ball.  It was useless.  I silently
let the tears take over.

I  was  told  that  I  needed  to  let Aaron  get  his  rest,
and  immediately  thought  about  when  Momma  was
in the hospital.  I prayed Aaron wouldn’t meet the
same fate she did.

Even  though  I  was  told  I  wouldn’t  be  able  to  see
Aaron again until the next day, I couldn’t leave the
hospital.    I  had  to  stay  in  case  he  woke  up  and
needed  me.    I  spent  the  night  saying  prayer  after
prayer.    I  had  never  been  a  religious  guy,  but  I
needed  help  from  someone  and  something  bigger
than myself.

I  was  finally  able  to  drift  off  to  sleep,  though  for
only  about  an  hour.    When  I  awoke,  my  neck  was
stiff  and  I  had  a  huge  headache,  but  that  dulled
some as I walked around to get some coffee.

When  I  was  able  to  see  Aaron  again,  the  nurse
asked  me  if  I  had  contacted  Aaron’s  parents.    It
had  completely  slipped  my  mind.    I  was  so
worried about Aaron and his recovery that I hadn’t
even thought about anyone else.

After  my  short  visit  with  Aaron,  I  took  out  my
phone, readying myself to make the call.  How do
you call someone’s mom and dad and tell them that
their  son,  that  you  dragged  across  country,  has
been  in  an  accident  and  is  in  a  coma?    I  knew  it
was  my  fault.    If  it  weren’t  for  me,  he  wouldn’t
even have been here to have an accident.

I stared at my phone for a long time.  I had missed
calls  from  Mandy.    I  needed  to  tell  her  what
happened,  but  that  would  have  to  wait  a  little
longer.    I  dialed  Aaron’s  parents  before  I  could
chicken out.  I could barely hear the ringing of the

phone through my heartbeat.

“Hello  Logan,”  answered  Aaron’s  Mom.    She
sounded so happy to get the call.  I could hear the
smile  leave  her  face  as  I  told  her  about  Aaron
being in the hospital.  I barely got through the call
before erupting into tears again.

Chapter 7

Aaron’s parents caught the first plane available
and arrived just before midnight.

After visiting hours ended, I reluctantly left the
hospital and went home to freshen up before
picking up Aaron’s mom and dad from the airport.

“How is he?” Aaron’s dad asked after giving me a
hug. His mom was too busy crying to say much at
all. I knew how she felt. Seeing her pain got the
tears welling up under my eyelids again, but I tried
to remain strong.

“He’s  in  the  ICU.    The  doctors  say  the  surgeries
went  well.    He  looks  pretty  banged  up,  but  the
swelling  has  gone  down  some  and  some  of  the
bruising  is  fading,”  I  rambled  on.    I  couldn’t
handle  any  more  silence,  so  I  just  kept  talking  the
entire way back to the hospital.

“They won’t let us see him til morning,” I

reminded them as we parked the car.

“I know,” Aaron’s mom finally spoke up. “I just
need to be near my son.”

We got to the waiting area and I offered to go grab
coffee for everyone. I had to stay busy. The guilt I
felt was eating away at me.

Even though it was late, I called Mandy. “I’m
sorry it took so long for me to return your call,” I
told her and then went on to explain what had
happened to Aaron.

“Don’t  worry  about  work,”  she  told  me,  “I’ll  tell
Jodi what’s going on and that you won’t be in for a
while.    Just  call  us  if  you  need  anything.”    It  was
nice  to  have  people  that  cared  about  me.    I  was
never very good at leaning on others , though.  The
only  thing  I  needed  right  now  was  to  have Aaron
back home, safe and healthy.

When  I  returned  with  the  coffees,  Aaron’s  mom
was  alone.    “He  just  went  outside  to  smoke,”  she
told  me  when  she  saw  me  looking  around  for  her

husband.

“I’m so sorry about all of this,” I told her. It didn’t
take long for the waterworks to start again.

“Shhh,” she said as she hugged me. “It’s not your
fault.”

“But  it  is!”  I  yelled.    “Aaron  came  to  Washington
for me…to be with me.  If I didn’t drag him here,
none  of  this  would’ve  happened,”  I  insisted.    My
eyes were full of tears, and snot was draining from
my  nose.    I’m  not  even  sure  Aaron’s  mom  could
tell what I was saying.  I felt hysterical.  It amazed
me how she was able to be there for me when she
was in so much pain over her son.

“Logan, it’s NOT your fault.  Aaron loves you and
wouldn’t want you blaming yourself.  As much as I
hate it, accidents happen.”  She went on to tell me
that we needed to pray and be strong for Aaron so
he could recover and be as good as new.

By the time Aaron’s dad returned, I had regained
some of my composure. I excused myself to the

restroom so I could blow my nose and wash my
face. She was right. I had to be strong for Aaron.
He didn’t need me falling apart.

We  all  slept  a  little  before  morning,  and  then  I
talked everyone into going to the hospital café for
breakfast.    It  was  the  first  real  food  I  had  eaten
since Aaron  didn’t  show  up  for  our  date  night.    I
felt  like  my  stomach  would  reject  it,  but  I  needed
nourishment so I could be strong for Aaron and his
family.    I  was  only  able  to  eat  a  little  bit  of  my
oatmeal  and  toast,  but  the  orange  juice  helped  fill
me  up.    Aaron’s  parents  barely  picked  at  their
food, but at least it was something.

Just before visiting hours began, we were told that
Aaron had come out of his coma. “He’s still in
very serious condition,” his doctor warned. Still,
it was the first bit of good news we had and gave
us some hope.

We were each given only five minutes to visit him,
and he wasn’t able to talk much. It was still nice
to get the chance to hold his hand and tell him that I

loved him.

“I  love  you  too,”  he  told  me  through  a  scratchy
whisper.  “I’m sorry…” he tried to add, but I told
him to save his energy.  I started crying again, but
at least this time they were tears of happiness.

Aaron’s  mom  seemed  more  emotional  after  her
visit  but  I  still  sensed  that  we  all  felt  some  hope
finally.    We  stayed  at  the  hospital  until  visiting
hours  ended,  just  in  case  Aaron’s  condition
changed.

“Let’s head to the house,” Aaron’s dad then
suggested. I could see that his wife didn’t want to
leave the hospital, but she reluctantly agreed.

That night, I had a dream that Aaron came home.
“Wake up, sleepy head,” he said.

“Aaron…is that you? You are supposed to be in
the hospital,” I tried to tell him, but he just leaned
down and kissed me gently on the lips.

He curled up next to me and we just remained that
way, not saying a word. It was enough to feel our

bodies  pressed  together…his  heart  beating  to  the
same rhythm as my own.  As I started to drift off to
sleep, I felt him kiss my forehead.  “You’re gonna
be fine…just remember I love you,” he said.

I woke up abruptly and searched the room for
Aaron before remembering he was in the hospital.
Twenty minutes later, my phone rang. It was the
hospital telling me that Aaron had started bleeding
internally and passed away.

Chapter 8

I  flew  back  to  Louisiana  for  Aaron’s  funeral.    It
was beautiful and the funeral home did a great job
at  making  Aaron  look  like  his  old  self  in  the
casket.    I  didn’t  mean  any  disrespect,  but  I  had  to
get  away  so  I  took  a  walk  and  sat  down  next  to  a
tree.    I  wanted  to  be  alone  with  Aaron,  and  not
surrounded by tons of grieving family and friends.
They  may  not  have  blamed  me,  but  I  still  did  and
couldn’t look any of them in the eyes.

I  closed  my  eyes  and  imagined  Aaron  was  still
with  me,  sitting  beside  me  watching  his  own
funeral.    I  imagined  he  was  holding  my  hand.    I
could almost feel his calloused fingers.  “Aaron,” I
whispered,  “how  am  I  going  to  go  on  without
you?”    I  guess  I  was  finally  out  of  tears,  because
only a single drop ran down my cheek.

I told myself that I had to stay as positive as I
could. At least I was able to see and talk to him

before  he  died.    I  had  so  many  good  memories  of
him,  but  as  many  as  there  were  they  would  never
be  enough.    I  was  supposed  to  have  decades  with
Aaron.  I felt robbed…and bitter, and angry.

Eventually, Flo came over to the tree to see if I
was okay. “I can leave,” she said, sensing I might
want to be alone.

“No…stay. You loved him too. Are you okay?” I
asked, trying for once not to be so selfish.

“Is  there  really  a  right  answer  to  that?”  she  said
through  her  tears  with  the  hint  of  a  smile  as  she
wiped  her  face.    We  sat  in  silence  a  little  before
she  pointed  out  that  everyone  was  leaving  for  the
reception.

“I’m  gonna  stay  a  little  while,  I  think,”  I  told  her
and she agreed to stay with me.  We spent the next
few hours telling stories about Aaron, and actually
managed  to  laugh  a  little.    It  felt  good  at  least
focusing on the happier times.

As the sun went down, Flo said we should head to

the reception if it was even still going on.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Aaron’s folks are probably
mad at me. I know they’re hurting too and I should
be there more for them.”

“I think they will understand.  They are surrounded
by  loved  ones  and  you  did  give  him  a  wonderful
funeral,”  she  reminded  me.    “When  are  you  going
home?”

Home.  I wasn’t even sure I still had one.  It wasn’t
something that I had given any thought to.  I wasn’t
even  sure  I  could  go  back  to  the  life Aaron  and  I
had together.  It would be too painful.  But, I didn’t
really have anywhere else to go.

“You can come back here to live,” Flo suggested.
That, too, would be painful.  It’s where I met and
fell  in  love  with  Aaron.    But  now  he  was  gone.
Besides  that,  it’s  where  Momma  died.    I  decided
I’d worry about it all later.

After putting in a respectable amount of time with
Aaron’s parents, I asked if it would be okay if I

spend the night with Flo.  I think they were just as
overwhelmed  with  the  day’s  events  and  were
happy  to  have  some  alone  time  to  grieve  without
having to be strong for me or anyone else.

“Okay, let’s get wasted,” I told Flo as soon as we
reached her house.  She knew I didn’t really drink,
but  didn’t  say  anything.    If  an  exception  could  be
made,  it  was  now.    I  just  wanted  to  be  numb.    I
also wanted to celebrate Aaron’s life.

I hated the taste of alcohol so Flo suggested a drink
for me. “It’s called the penetrator. It’s a chilled
double shot of Absolut, with a sugar rimmed glass
and a lemon slice.”

She was right, I couldn’t even taste it as long as I
bit  into  the  lemon  after  downing  the  shot  and  then
licking  the  sugar  from  the  rim  of  the  glass.    Even
with  the  double-shots,  it  still  took  seven  before  I
felt even the slightest buzz.

With  every  drink,  though,  we  took  turns  telling
stories of Aaron.  I was glad to keep drinking if it
meant  I  could  re-live  memories  of  happy  times

with Aaron.

I got to hear stories about him and Flo that I had
never heard before. Likewise, I told Flo stories
about our life together in Washington State.

Just before we called it a night, I told her about
how Aaron came to me in a dream right before he
died. As I told the story, or as much as I could
remember, both Flo and I got goose bumps.

“What am I gonna do without him?” I asked Flo as
I started crying again.

She hugged me and said, “He’s always going to be
with you, Logan. He told you that you were going
to be okay, remember?”

I wanted the words he told me in my dream to give
me strength and comfort…but they didn’t…not yet.

The  next  afternoon,  I  decided  to  go  and  visit  my
step-brother,  Tim.    I  hadn’t  even  told  him  about
Aaron  yet,  but  I  needed  my  brother.    He  was  the
only other person I felt really close to.

“Call me when you get there,” Flo told me as she
dropped me off at the airport.

“I  will.    I  promise,”  I  answered.    “I’ll  be  okay…
don’t worry about me.”  I didn’t know if it was the
truth or not.  Only time would tell.

Chapter 9

KNOCK, KNOCK!

I  stood  outside  of  my  brother’s  apartment,  hoping
he was home.  I didn’t call first to let him know I
was  even  coming.    I  didn’t  know  how  to  explain
things  on  the  phone.    Maybe  I  just  didn’t  want  to
try.

“Baby  bro!    How  are  you?”  Tim  said  when  he
answered the door.  “Why didn’t you let me know
you  were  coming?”    He  didn’t  seem  upset  that  I
was there, just surprised.

“I didn’t really know myself,” I said with a laugh.
If I didn’t at least try to act like everything was
fine, I felt like I would have a nervous
breakdown.

“Well, this is Sarah, my girlfriend,” he announced
as he ushered me inside. Sarah was tall, blonde
and beautiful…just my brother’s type.

“I’m really sorry for busting in unannounced, and
at dinnertime.”

“It’s fine,” Sarah said as she gave me a quick hug.
“Tim’s told me so much about you.” From her
smile, I could tell Tim must have left out the more
sensitive items when telling his girlfriend about
me.

We talked and caught up over dinner. Sarah was a
vegan, so dinner was just a salad with tofu. I
wasn’t really too hungry anyways.

“So, how’s Aaron?” Tim asked midway through
dinner.

I  painted  a  fake  smile  on  my  face,  even  though
inside  I  felt  like  throwing  up.    “I  can  tell  you  all
about my life later.  Tell me all about what’s new
in your life.”  It was a thin attempt at changing the
subject.  It worked, though, for now.

After dinner, Tim suggested we take a walk. He
had to have known something important was on my
mind.

“So, what’s going on?” he said with a more
serious look once we were outside. “Are you
okay?”

Before even attempting to answer him, I just
hugged him tightly and started crying for what must
have been the millionth time since Aaron’s
accident.

“Whoa…baby bro, what’s wrong?” I know he
could feel me shaking, so I let go and tried to
regain my composure.

“It’s Aaron,” I began and told him about the
accident and everything that followed.

For a few minutes, he was speechless.  If I was in
his  position,  I  wouldn’t  know  what  to  say  either.
“You  should’ve  called  me,”  he  finally  said,  not
with  a  scolding  tone  but  with  one  of  deep
sympathy.

“I know,” I told him. We walked and talked for
the next hour. I told him that I didn’t know if I
could go back home.

“You  can  always  move  here,”  he  said.    It  was  a
nice  thought,  but  already  things  with  Tim  felt
different.  In the past, it was always me and him.
With  Sarah  in  the  picture,  the  bond  felt  different
somehow….more reserved.

“Flo told me the same thing about moving back to
Louisiana. I don’t know what I wanna do, though.”

After  our  walk,  I  politely  said  goodbye  to  Sarah
and  headed  back  to  the  hotel.    Tim  walked  me  to
my  car.    “Don’t  leave  town  without  saying
goodbye,”  he  ordered.    “We’re  having  lunch
together, right?”

“Yes,  I’ll  see  you  at  lunch.    I  promise!”    I  would
never  break  a  promise  to  Tim.    He  was  the  only
real  family  I  had  left.    I  hated  seeing  him  drift
away, but was happy for him all at the same time.
Sarah seemed nice and I could tell he really loved
her.

As I drove back to the hotel, I wondered if Tim felt
abandoned by me somehow when Aaron and I
moved to Washington together. I was so excited to

start my new life with Aaron that I never took a
moment to think about how Tim felt. A small part
of me felt like I was now losing a brother and I’d
hate if that’s how he felt back then.

I talked about it at lunch the next day, and he told
me he understood and would make a better effort
to keep us close.

“You know I love you, right?” he told me.

“I  know  you  do.    Why  does  life  get  so  fucked  up
though?    When  we  were  kids,  at  least,  if  anything
was  wrong  you  would  just  hold  me  and  I’d  feel
better.”

“Questioning  life  will  drive  you  crazy.    You  just
have to live everyday the best you can.  Let those
you love know it, and try to make everyday better
than  the  last,”  Tim  answered.    It  was  cliché  but
true.

We  opened  up  about  a  lot  of  things  during  that
lunch,  and  by  the  end  of  it  I  felt  good  about  a
decision to head back home.  I was going to keep

the house so I could feel closer to Aaron, and I
was still going to finish school and open up the
cupcake shop for Momma.

As  we  said  our  goodbyes,  I  gave  Tim  a  hug.    He
probably  couldn’t  breathe,  I  was  squeezing  so
tight.  I didn’t want to ever let him go.  “You know
I love you too, right?” I asked him as I stared into
his  eyes.    I  wanted  him  to  know  I  was  dead
serious.  He meant the world to me.

“I  have  always  known  that,  baby  bro.    We’re
good.”    He  made  me  promise  to  call  when  I  got
home,  and  promised  he  was  going  to  check  in
everyday so we never drifted even the slightest bit
apart.

As  I  sat  in  my  window  seat  on  the  plane,  I  felt
better…calmer.    I  had  a  plan.    I  wouldn’t  let
Momma’s and Aaron’s deaths be for nothing.

Chapter 10

It felt weird to be back home without Aaron, but I
tried to keep myself occupied with work and
school.

The school let me make up my missed assignments,
and told me that as long as I passed my semester
exams I’d receive credit for the classes. With
Levi’s help, I was caught up in no time.

The time I wasn’t in school or at Levi’s, I spent at
the bakery with Jodi and Mandy. They were both
very sympathetic. “You can take as much time off
as you need,” Jodi told me on my first day back.

“Thank  you,  but  I  need  to  work.    I  need  to  stay
busy,”  I  told  her.    The  hardest  thing  for  me  was
being  alone  in  the  house  at  night,  and  sleeping
alone.  I tried to pretend that Aaron was still there,
or  just  downstairs  in  the  living  room  catching  up
on  some  homework.    Inside  though,  I  knew
something was missing, and felt empty as I tried to

fall asleep.

The first few nights, I was able to dream of Aaron
at least. So, for that little time of unconsciousness,
I had him back. But, eventually even that faded.

“Do you want to come over tonight after work?”
Mandy asked me on my first Friday night back at
the bakery.

“I’d like that,” I replied. I still needed time to
mourn.

That  night,  Mandy,  Dan  and  I  played  games  and
watched movies.  I thought I would feel like a third
wheel but they made sure I felt very included.  As
we watched the movies, Mandy even had me sit in
the middle on the couch.  She had me rest my head
on  her  lap  and  Dan  draped  my  legs  over  his.    It
was nice.  Most boyfriends wouldn’t be that cool,
but  Dan  made  sure  I  felt  like  I  was  hanging  out
with two friends and not a couple.

“Are you sure this is cool?” I asked him. I felt a
little bit uncomfortable at first.

“Yeah, it’s fine, dude…but next time I’m in the
middle and you give me the leg massage,” he joked
which got us all laughing.

The  more  time  I  spent  with  Mandy  and  Dan,  the
more  I  started  feeling  better.    In  the  beginning,  I
felt  guilty  for  laughing  or  having  any  fun,  but  I
knew  Aaron  would  never  have  wanted  for  me  to
sit around being sad all the time.

I  think  Jodi  was  a  little  jealous  over  how  much
time  Mandy  and  I  had  begun  spending  together.
She  even  offered  to  have  me  over  for  dinner  with
her and Shae.

“That’d be nice,” I told her as I finished bagging a
customer’s order.

“You know that guy?” she asked, referring to the
customer I had just helped.

“No, why?” I asked.

“I think he likes you,” she told me with a sly grin.
I didn’t know what to feel. I wasn’t ready to move
on from Aaron. Truthfully, I hadn’t even looked at

any other guys.

The next day, the same guy came in, and bought the
same  items.    He  was  a  few  years  older  than
myself,  but  very  attractive.    If  I  had  to  guess  I
would  say  he  worked  in  a  bank  or  as  a  broker
somewhere.    He  wore  an  expensive,  but  trendy
suit…nice shoes, and drove an expensive car.

From  his  voice,  I  could  tell  he  was  gay  even
though he didn’t sound too feminine.  As I went to
hand him his change, he told me to keep it and then
winked at me.  I added the four dollars and change
to the tip jar we kept on the counter.

A part of me wondered if he did like me.  And, if
he  did,  should  I  feel  guilty?    Before  I  could  form
an opinion, Jodi snuck up behind me.  “See, I told
you he likes you,” she teased.

“I’m not ready to date,” I told her and it was the
truth. I had no desire to replace Aaron. At the
moment I didn’t care if I ever dated again.

“I know, Logan…but it’s still nice to flirt once in a

while,” she added with a wink. She was probably
right. I did like flirting, but even that felt like it
would be betraying Aaron’s memory.

“Hey,”  I  said  to  change  the  subject,  “the  school
semester will be over in two weeks.  Do you think
I can get some extra hours while I’m on break?”  I
needed the extra cash since I could no longer count
on  Aaron’s  paycheck.    There  was  a  settlement
from  the  insurance  company  of  the  driver  that  his
Aaron,  but  I  told  Aaron’s  parents  to  keep  that
money.

“Sure, honey,” Jodi said.  “Whatever you need.”  It
was  good  to  have  such  and  understanding  boss.
And,  with  fall  approaching,  business  was  picking
up.

I spent the next two weeks working, hanging out
with Levi, Mandy and Dan, and Jodi and Shae. I
made sure to keep Friday night’s occupied, but the
nights at home didn’t really get any easier.

The week of my final exams, the solution
appeared.

“What’s wrong?” I asked Levi.  I knew he wasn’t
nervous  about  the  exam  because  he  had  all  of  the
information  and  techniques  down  pat,  but  he  still
had a stressed look plastered across his face.

“I have to find a new place to live…and fast,” he
told  me.    “My  roommates  are  moving  out  and  I
can’t  afford  my  apartment  alone.”    He  went  on  to
explain  that  the  lease  was  up  for  renewal  the
following  week  and  he  just  found  out  his
roommates were moving back home.

Before I even knew what I was saying I offered to
let  him  move  in  with  me  for  the  same  rent  he  had
been paying at his apartment.  “It’ll help me out,” I
added when he looked skeptical.  I didn’t want to
say it, but we both knew I was referring to Aaron
no  longer  being  around  for  company  or  to  help
with the bills.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes.    Don’t  make  me  beg,  dude,”  I  answered
which lightened the mood.  It wasn’t until after the
exam  and  I  was  in  my  car  that  it  sank  in.    I

Chapter 11

Levi moved in the following weekend.  Aaron and
I had never furnished the other bedrooms, so Levi
was  able  to  easily  move  his  stuff  right  in.    Other
than furniture, most of his belongings were clothes,
CDs  or  DVDs.    He  did  have  two  guitars  and
promised he’d teach me how to play.

With the extra hours at work, I wasn’t home much.
But, when I was, it was nice to have someone else
there.    Normally  when  I  came  home,  Levi  would
be in the kitchen cooking dinner for us.  He looked
a  little  out  of  place  with  his  apron  on  over  his
normal  clothes  because  he  looked  like  a  guy  that
should be in an alternative rock band, not working
in a kitchen.  He stood right at six feet, with broad
shoulders,  and  short,  spiky,  brown  hair.    He  had
both ears pierced, and always wore small discs in
the  holes  to  stretch  them.    The  only  pants  I  ever
saw him wear were torn jeans and he always had a
chain wallet in his back pocket.  To go along with

the jeans, he always wore t-shirts, usually band t-
shirts.

As out of place as he looked standing in the kitchen
with  his  apron,  as  soon  as  I  saw  him  chopping
food  with  his  chef’s  knife,  that  all  disappeared.
He  was  in  his  element.    I  felt  kind-of  jealous
watching  him.    He  was  good  at  so  many  things,
unlike me.

“You  just  gonna  stand  there  and  stare,  or  get  in
here and help?” he’d ask if I watched too long.  He
didn’t really need my help.  He just wanted to give
me the opportunity since we were both in culinary
school  and  could  use  practice.    Mostly,  though,  I
concentrated on making the deserts, since I planned
to be a pastry chef.

At  the  bakery,  Jodi  asked  me  how  my  new  living
situation was going.  “It’s good,” I told her.  “It’s a
little  weird  having  someone  else  besides  Aaron
there, but Levi is great.”

“Do I hear wedding bells?” she teased.

“No.    Levi’s  bi,  but  I’m  pretty  sure  I’m  not  his
type.    Besides,  I’m  not  ready  for  another
relationship.”    She  looked  skeptical  but  I  told  her
we were just friends.

“Well, when do we get to meet him at least?” Jodi
said as she frosted the last of the cakes.

I promised to talk to Levi about it and see about
having Jodi and Shae as well as Mandy and Dan
over for dinner sometime in the near future.

“Yeah,  that’ll  be  great….more  people  to  cook
for,”  Levi  said  when  I  mentioned  it  over  dinner
that  night.    If  it  were  me,  I’d  be  nervous  about
meeting so many new people, but Levi wasn’t shy
at  all.    He  seemed  to  have  such  an  easy  time
meeting  people.    He  was  a  lot  like Aaron  in  that
way.

We  set  out  to  pick  a  date.    Thanksgiving  was
coming  up,  so  we  figured  we’d  see  if  everyone
was free that day.  Surprisingly, they were.

Levi took care of the dinner menu, and I made

some  deserts.    Rather  than  have  the  typical  turkey
dinner,  Levi  wanted  more  of  a  challenge,  so  he
decided to make everything into small bites.  That
way  we  could  just  snack  as  we  talked  and  maybe
played games.

My palms got all sweaty as noon rolled around.  I
ran  around  the  house  to  double-check  and  make
sure  everything  was  done.    Other  than  Levi,  I
wasn’t used to having anyone over to the house.  It
was  a  big  step  to  me.    Even  though  none  of  the
guests  were  very  judgmental,  I  still  wanted  to
make a good impression.

“They’re here!” yelled Levi from the living room
as the first car arrived. I hurried down the stairs to
open the door.

“Happy Thanksgiving, guys,” I told Mandy and
Dan as I welcomed them in. No sooner than I had
made the introductions did Jodi and Shae pull up.

I think I was the only really shy one in the group.
Shae was the biggest talker though. She was one
of those types of people that really didn’t realize if

she was talking too much. I found it cute, though.

In  a  matter  of  minutes,  Levi  seemed  to  have
bonded with everyone.  It didn’t hurt that everyone
loved  his  food.    It  was  amazing.    I  sometimes
wondered  why  he  was  in  culinary  school  at  all.
He  seemed  to  have  mastered  everything  he  would
ever need to know to become an executive chef.

By  six,  we  were  all  stuffed  even  with  the  food
served  in  small  bites.    My  mini  cheesecake
cupcakes  got  rave  reviews.    I  was  glad  everyone
still had room for them after the great dinner.

We  finished  off  the  evening  with  a  movie
marathon.  I felt a little strange sitting on one of the
sofas  next  to  Levi  as  we  watched  the  movies.
Everyone else was paired off in couples.  A small
part  of  me  felt  like  I  was  cheating  on  Aaron  by
sitting with Levi.  I tried to put it out of my mind,
though, and just enjoy the night.

“I  really  liked  your  friends,”  Levi  told  me  as  we
were  cleaning  up  after  everyone  left.    “Shae  is  a
riot!”  I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, I think they are your friends, too, now,” I
told him.

He stopped washing the dishes and gave me a hug.
“Thank you, Logan.”

“What’s that for?” I asked. As much of a people
person as Levi was, he didn’t really open up about
his own life much. I sensed there was a lot of pain
behind his constant smile.

“Just for making me feel included,” he answered
and went back to washing dishes.

As I helped dry, I couldn’t help thinking about how
good the hug felt. It had been a while since I had
that kind of intimacy with another man.

Chapter 12

Over  the  next  couple  of  months,  we  had  a  few
more  gatherings  at  the  house,  and  Levi  and  I
became  closer  friends.    He  still  didn’t  confide
much  about  his  past  with  me,  but  I  could  respect
his  privacy.    He’d  tell  me  what  he  wanted  me  to
know when the time was right for him.

Other  than  that,  life  had  become  kind-of
predictable.    That  is,  until  the  last  Thursday  in
January.    That’s  when  the  guy  Jodi  claimed  liked
me came into the bakery again.  I hadn’t seen him
in a while.  I just assumed he started coming in on
a  different  shift,  or  maybe  stopped  coming  in
altogether.

“Hey,” I said as I approached the counter to help
him, “what can I get for you?”

He took a while to decide but ended up getting the
exact same items he also asked for. I laughed and
teased him. “It took you that long to order what

you always order?” I asked very light-heartedly.

“Well,  maybe  I  just  wanted  more  time  to  talk  to
you,”  he  answered  with  a  wink.    I  won’t  lie  and
say I didn’t find him attractive, because I did.  He
was  gorgeous.    But,  I  just  wasn’t  ready  for
anything more than friendship and told him so.  “I
can  do  friendship,”  he  told  me  as  he  once  again
told me to keep the change.

I thought about him the rest of the day.  I wondered
if  I’d  ever  be  able  to  be  interested  in  another  guy
again.    For  the  time  being,  mostly  what  I  felt  was
guilt.

Towards the end of my shift, the guy called to see
if I wanted to just get together as friends. It still
felt like he was asking me out on a date, but I made
my feelings very clear.

“Friends  only?”  I  asked  him.    “Because  I’m  not
interested in dating, or anything else.”  I explained
that  I  had  recently  gotten  out  of  a  long-term
relationship and was still healing.

Customers  came  in,  so  I  told  him  I  had  to  go  but
agreed  to  catch  a  movie  with  him  the  following
night.    It  wasn’t  until  I  hung  up  that  I  realized  the
next  night  was  Friday…mine  and  Aaron’s  date
night.

I wanted to call and back out of the movie, but
didn’t have the guy’s phone number. I couldn’t
even remember his first name, though he just told it
to me on the phone only minutes earlier.

The entire next afternoon I felt queasy and sick.  I
wasn’t  going  to  stand  the  guy  up,  though,  so  I
sucked  it  up  and  prepared  myself  for  what  would
come.  After all, it was only a movie.

Promptly at six, Devin showed up. Luckily for me,
he introduced himself to Mandy as he came in, so I
didn’t have to be embarrassed over not
remembering his name.

He drove and we made small talk on the way. He
agreed to see a fantasy-fiction movie that was a
sequel in a popular book and movie franchise.

“So, what do you do?” I asked as I nervously tried
to find something to do with my hands.

“I work for a record company,” he told me and
explained what his job entailed. I was way off,
thinking he was a banker or a broker.

When  we  got  to  the  movie  theater,  Devin  insisted
on  purchasing  my  ticket.    “I  can  claim  it  as  a
business expense,” he chuckled.  When he asked if
I  wanted  a  drink  or  popcorn,  I  declined.    I  didn’t
want  him  paying  for  anything  else.    It  already  felt
too much like a date to me.

Luckily, for me, the movie was three hours long, so
I could just sit there and not have to worry about
being nervous or making small talk.

After  the  movie,  though,  Devin  asked  if  I  would
mind  stopping  for  something  to  eat  before  he  took
me back to the bakery.  I felt bad that he bought my
movie ticket and only agreed to go if he let me buy
the meals.

“Deal,” he said.

We just drove over to the all night burger place
across the street from the theater. It was a college
hangout that resembled a 1950’s diner.

I  was  still  nervous,  but  Devin  did  most  of  the
talking  and  leading  the  conversation.    He  didn’t
pry into delicate areas or make  a  pass  at  me,  so  I
did  start  to  relax  a  little  towards  the  end  of  the
night.

“You’re off tomorrow, right?” he asked as he
dropped me off. I forgot he knew my schedule
from all of the times he came into the bakery.

“Yeah, why?” I answered.

“Well, I thought we could hang out again. I’m off
too and I think we hit it off as friends.”

Everything in me said to make up an excuse, but I
just wasn’t a good liar so I agreed to get together.
I reluctantly gave him my address so he could pick
me up there, since we didn’t really know what we
wanted to do.

Levi was still up when I got home. He really

didn’t go out much. Most nights he just stayed
home and practiced his guitar. He did get a new
job as a busboy at a nice restaurant, but the hours
were short and he only worked three days a week.

“So, how was it?” he asked when I peeked my
head in his room.

I told him it was okay, but still felt a little weird.
“We’re going to hang out tomorrow too, though.
He’s picking me up here at five.”

“Should I make myself scarce?” Levi asked with a
huge, crooked smile.

“That’s not funny,” I told him.

“Aww. Lighten up. I’m not gonna be home
anyways. Gotta work,” Levi said as I was turning
to leave.

That  night,  I  lay  in  bed  and  talked  to  Aaron…
asking  him  if  he  was  okay  with  my  meeting  new
guys.  I wanted to hear his voice answer me or get
a sign, but I was surrounded only by silence.

Chapter 13

After a night of tossing and turning, I finally awoke
refreshed at noon.

I spent the afternoon cleaning.  Even if Devin was
only coming to pick me up, I didn’t want the place
to  look  messy.    We  kept  it  fairly  clean,  but  after
seeing how immaculate Devin dressed and kept his
car,  I  needed  to  at  least  dust  and  clean  up  the
clutter.    There  were  also  a  few  dishes  in  the  sink
leftover from Levi’s dinner last night.

“I’ll get those,” Levi said as he saw me loading the
dishwasher.

“I got it,” I answered.  I didn’t mind doing a few of
his dishes.  After all, he did most of the cooking.  I
didn’t  eat  last  night,  but  he  did  put  some  of  the
enchiladas he made last night in the refrigerator for
me so I could have them for lunch.

After I finished cleaning up, I ate the enchiladas

and then added the tupperware container and my
fork to the dishwasher before starting it.

“I’ll see you later tonight,” Levi yelled from the
living room.

I was surprised he was leaving so early, but he
explained he had some errands to run before
work.

I ended up taking a short nap, but barely woke up
in time to get ready for Devin’s arrival.

As that day before, he arrived promptly on time.
He reminded me of Aaron in that way.

“Would you like to come in?” I asked him, more so
to  be  polite.    He  accepted  and  took  a  seat  on  the
couch.  I took the seat beside him and tried to make
small talk.  “Do you know what you want to do?” I
asked.

Neither of us really had any ideas, so Devin
suggested we just stay in and watch some movies.
It seemed harmless enough.

Midway through the movie, Devin said, “See, this
is nice.”

As the movie went on, though, he started rubbing
my leg. “Whoa…friends only, remember?” I told
him and sat up straight.

“Why don’t you like me, Logan?” he asked,
moving his hand back to my thigh.

“I said STOP!” I told him, but he didn’t pull back.
In fact, his advances grew stronger.

“Just suck my dick a little,” he said, trying to
convince me maybe that that’s what friends did.

“I’m not interested,” I said and moved to stand up.
As I headed for the door, he grabbed me and
pushed me up against the wall.

“Oh, I get it,” he said, “you want money. Is that
it? Are you a whore?”

I kneed him in the groin and told him to get out of
my house, and ran upstairs. Before I could get the
bedroom door closed and locked, he barged in.

“I’m  calling  the  police!”  I  threatened,  but  he
grabbed  me  again  before  I  could  even  get  my
phone out of my pocket.  I wasn’t weak, but he was
stronger.

“You’re gonna suck my cock and swallow my load
one way or the other,” he told me as he groped my
crotch.

CRASH!

I wasn’t sure what happened, but Devin slumped to
the ground, and there were pieces of glass
everywhere.

“Are you alright?” Levi asked me.

“Yeah,” I answered, shaken. “When did you get
here?”

“Just in time, it looks like.” He asked me if I
wanted to call the police, but I told him I’d rather
just get Devin out of the house and forget about the
night. As we carried Devin outside and sat him
next to his car, he started coming to.

“We’ve called the police, mother fucker,” Levi
bluffed and we headed back inside. Five minutes
later, Devin’s car was gone.

I told him not to worry about it, but Levi helped me
up to my bed, and told me to rest. “I’ll be fine,” I
told him.

“I know you will, but do you mind if I sleep in
here for the night?” he asked. It was nice of him to
worry about me so I agreed.

We both got under the covers completely clothed
and turned on the TV. When I sensed Levi was
getting sleepy, I turned the TV off.

“You don’t have to turn it off,” he told me, though
he was half asleep and didn’t even have the energy
to fully open his mouth as he talked.

“It’s okay. I’m sleepy too.”

“I love you, Logan.  Sweet Dreams,” he muttered.
He had never said that to me before, and probably
wouldn’t  have  then  either  if  he  had  been  fully
conscious.  I could’ve ignored it, but I decided to

say it back as I kissed his forehead. “I love you
too, Levi.”

Levi just mumbled something before turning over
and starting to snore.

I didn’t know if Levi would remember anything the
next morning, but I know I did love him…whether
that love was brotherly, as a friend, or more
romantic.

Chapter 14

That night wasn’t the only night Levi was there for
me.  A month later, I started looking into all of the
costs  to  get  the  cupcake  shop  up  and  running.    I
still  had  over  a  year  of  school,  but  I  wanted  to
have  plenty  of  time  to  get  a  storefront,  business
license,  and  all  the  other  million  things  I  would
need to open as soon as I graduated.

It turned out, though, after the down-payment on the
house,  the  funeral  expenses,  and  normal  living
expenses,  I  didn’t  have  as  much  money  left  as  I
would  need.    Even  if  I  leased  instead  of  buying  a
building, I would only have enough money to last a
few months.

Suddenly, it seemed like another dream was
broken and shattered.

“What’s wrong,” Levi asked me when he saw me
still in bed at four in the afternoon. If he
remembered telling me that he loved me or hearing

that I said it back, he never brought it up. Things
between us were how that had always been….with
us friends.

I explained everything to him. I didn’t expect him
to help, since he didn’t have any money himself. It
was still good to just get it all off my chest.

“I’m sure your mom would understand if you
couldn’t get the cupcake shop open,” he said.

“I know, but I wanted to do it for her…to honor
her.”

“You honor her everyday…with your work, your
thoughts and your goals.” Levi was right.
Everything I was doing was for her.

I tried to clear my mind and not think about it
again, and, for a little while, life went along as
usual.

“Are you and Levi free this Sunday?” Jodi asked a
month or so later.  I told her that I’d have to check
but  that  I  thought  Levi  was  off  work  that  day.
“Great.    I  have  something  important  to  announce.

We’re  going  to  close  up  the  shop  that  day  so  you
and Mandy can come over for the announcement.”
Of  course,  Dan  and  Levi  were  invited,  and  Shae
would be there as well.

Mandy and I speculated on what the news could
be. “Maybe they’re adopting a baby,” she
guessed.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” I said. I would assume
we would have heard something about it in all this
time if that was the case, but I couldn’t think of
anything else it could be.

That Sunday, as everyone was seated around
Jodi’s dining room table, she finally decided to
spill the beans.

“I  know  you  all  are  wondering  what  the  surprise
announcement  is.    And,  no,  Mandy,  we’re  not
adopting a baby,” Jodi said.  “But, we are getting a
new addition.”

We all looked quizzically at each other, not really
sure what Jodi was talking about.

“What’s the new addition,” I finally asked when
she didn’t continue.

“I’m glad you asked, Logan,” Jodi answered as she
passed out some large postcards.

It showed a watercolor portrayal of the bakery, but
with it expanded to the empty space next door.
There was a sign in the window that read: NOW
FEATURING

MOMMA’S

DELIGHT

CUPCAKES!

“What is this?” I asked as tears filled my eyes.

“Devin told us that you didn’t think you could fund
your new business the way you had hoped, and for
a  few  months  now  Shae  and  I  have  discussed
buying  the  space  next  door  to  the  bakery  and
expanding.  I’d like to partner with you so that you
can sell your cupcakes in the new addition.”

Jodi’s words meant the world to me. I wanted to
tell her how much, but I couldn’t stop crying.
Everyone around the table laughed and clapped for
me.

“This is too much…thank you,” I told Jodi and
Shae.

“Well, some of the thanks goes to Levi. You’ve
got a good friend there,” Shae said as she patted
Levi on the back.

“You’re right,” I told her as I got up from my seat.
“Thank  you  too,  Levi.”    Before  I  could  stop
myself,  I  kissed  him  on  the  lips  and  gave  him  a
great  big  hug.    He  kissed  me  back  and  the  other
guests at the table started hooting and hollering.

The  bakery  addition  wouldn’t  be  ready  until  just
after Levi and I graduated, but I was excited.  My
life  and  dreams  hadn’t  turned  out  how  I  expected
or  hoped  when  I  made  the  move  with  Aaron  to
Washington  State,  but  life  still  had  a  way  of
working  out.    I  didn’t  get  to  spend  my  life  with
Aaron  and  I  knew  I  would  miss  him  everyday.
Something told me, though, that he would approve
of  Levi.    And,  as  far  as  my  cupcake  shop  for
Momma, the vision changed but I was still able to
honor her and that’s all that really mattered.

Check out another Great Porterlance Book:

As the Snow Falls

Volumes 1

M.D. James

Turn the page for a preview...

Chapter 1

“Naw. She’s okay.” I half managed to get out as
my friends were teasing me about having a crush
on April Powders.

“Yeah, you do! Ohhhh, yeah, you do!  Jimmy likes
April.    Jimmy  likes  April,”  Mikey  sang  out  loud
while dancing around our lunch table.  I’m not sure
how,  exactly,  I  became  friends  with  Mikey.    I
suppose it was because we had homeroom together
since  I  could  remember.    He  was  very  tall  for  a
thirteen  year  old  and  built  like  a  lumber-jack.
And,  like  you’d  assume  from  looking  at  his
unkempt  hair  and  dirt-stained  face,  he  had
absolutely  no  manners.    He  didn’t  even  care  if
there  were  girls  around  when  he  needed  to  pass
gas,  or  shoot  a  booger  out  of  his  nose.    And,  he
certainly  didn’t  mind  embarrassing  me  in  front  of
April Powders.

I was quickly turning beet red, and wanted to die.

April was a girl who I sat next to each day in my
English  literature  and  biology  classes.    She  had
curly,  brown  hair  that  always  smelled  like  roses.
She was our class president, and my lab partner in
biology.  The truth was, I did have a bit of a crush
on  her,  but  I’d  never  tell  Mikey  that.    No  need  to
give  him  more  ammunition  to  use  on  me  later.    It
was  always  so  hard  to  concentrate  on  the  biology
lesson  when  I  was  sitting  next  to  April.    I  was
magically  transported  into  the  wishful  thinking  of
my mind by the lovely, clean scent of April’s hair.
I  would  get  so  nervous,  though,  that  I  had  to
constantly wipe the palms of my hands on my pants
in  class.    They  would  sweat  so  much  when  I  was
around  her.    I  mean,  they  would  sweat  a  lot…so
much so, that I felt like a sweat factory in biology!
I probably left class everyday with pit stains under
my  arms  too.    I’m  sure  she  thought  I  was  a
complete and utter idiot.

Being thirteen and in high school was hard to
figure out. As a teen and high-schooler, I was
supposed to hit on girls every chance I got and try

to get dates or more from them…but, just last year
I was made fun of if I even had a crush on a girl, or
a girl had a crush on me.  I never really knew what
to do, and Mikey seemed to know that and pounced
on me every chance he got.  Unfortunately, for me,
he got a lot of chances.  I mean A LOT!

“Aww…leave him alone, Mike,” my best friend,
Connor, interjected. “Can’t ya see he’s
embarrassed?”

Connor  was  everything  I  wished  I  was.    He  was
taller  than  me…standing  at  five  foot  nine  inches.
He was athletic and toned.  He had brown hair and
hazel  eyes  like  me,  but  also  kind-of  a  crooked
smile  that  seemed  to  make  girls  swoon.    He  was
the kind of guy who was smart, funny, witty, goofy,
and outgoing.  I felt very lucky to have him as my
best friend.  I could tell Connor anything and know
my  secrets  were  safe  with  him.    He  was
completely  trust-worthy,  and  we  had  been  friends
since  I  was  nine  years  old.    That’s  when  he
stopped  a  bully  from  beating  my  face  to  a  bloody
stump.  I know he was just trying to protect me this

time too, but Mikey was hard to reel in when he
knew he was getting under a person’s skin.

Just as Mikey was about to start in again, and
likely embarrass me to even greater depths than
before, the school bell loudly rang.

RRIIIINNNNNGGGGGG….

Saved by the bell, lunch was over.

I  exhaled  a  huge  sigh  of  relief,  as  I  picked  up  my
trash and partially eaten sandwich and tossed them
in the fly ridden trash can.  I missed while trying to
shoot  the  balled  up  wrapper  into  the  can,  as  if  it
was a basketball.  I quickly looked around to make
sure  Mikey  didn’t  see  my  failure,  and  it  seemed
that I was in the clear for once.  Now, I just had to
make it through the rest of the day.

Connor  and  I  told  Mikey  we  would  see  him  later
since  he  had  Algebra  class  on  the  other  end  of
campus.  As we walked away, Mikey yelled at the
top of his lungs, “Jimmy!  See ya later, Loverboy!”
and  cracked  up  laughing  to  himself  as  he  blew  a

kiss in my direction.  About thirty kids stopped and
started  looking  at  me  and  laughed…some
hysterically.

“Don’t  mind  him,  dude,”  Connor  offered,  and
playfully  tussled  my  hair  as  he  broke  away  to  his
locker.    He  always  knew  how  to  make  me  feel
better.

The next few classes went well.  I didn’t have any
classes  the  second  half  of  the  day  with  either
Mikey  or  April,  so  I  could  just  focus  on  my
schoolwork.  I was always a teacher’s pet type of
guy.  I naturally got good grades, and was always
polite  and  attentive  to  my  teachers.    I  didn’t
brown-nose  or  anything,  but  I  still  got  singled  out
as  the  example  to  follow  in  quite  a  few  of  my
classes.

Finally, the last bell of the day rang and I couldn’t
wait  to  get  home.    Mom  said  that  if  I  got  my
homework done early enough, we could go look at
Christmas  lights  around  town.    I’ve  always  loved
Christmas.  Living  in  Washington  State,  I  was

fortunate  enough  to  get  a  white  Christmas  every
year.    It  just  seemed  to  make  everything  so  much
more magical.  The lights seemed to twinkle more,
as  they  reflected  off  the  snow  and  ice…and  the
people  became  just  a  tiny  bit  happier,  in  spite  of
having  to  drive  in  a  foot  of  snow.    The  cold
temperatures made me wanna get a fire going in the
fireplace,  and  drink  hot  cocoa  while  watching  my
favorite  Christmas  television  special.    I  had  to
imagine the fire since we never had a fireplace in
our house.

Connor and I lived right next door to each other, so
we always walked home together and talked about
our day. It was actually the part of my day I
normally looked forward to most.

“Wanna  have  a  snowball  fight  throw-down?”
Connor challenged as we passed the park near our
houses.   A  snowball  fight  throw-down  is  like  the
ultimate  snowball  fight….winner  takes  all.    The
last three years Connor has held the championship,
but  I  was  determined  to  beat  him  one  day.    It
would have to wait until some other day though.

“Can’t  today,  bud.    We’re  going  to  go  look  at
Christmas  lights  tonight,  so  I  gotta  get  my
homework for Mrs. Schiltz’s class done ASAP!” I
answered.  “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Deal.” Connor said with one of his patented
winks as we each crossed our front yards.

As soon as I opened the worn and squeaky door, I
threw off my snow covered shoes and ran straight
to the fridge.  I was fortunate enough to have a very
good metabolism.  Though, sometimes, I wondered
if I was too thin.  I weighed just under one hundred
and  thirty  pounds.    I  felt  like  that  was  a  good
weight  for  my  age  and  height.    I  grabbed  some
whole  wheat  bread,  three  or  four  ham  slices,
colby-jack cheese, and some Cheez-Its and headed
to my room.  I put a sandwich together quickly, and
got my books out of my hand-me-down book bag.

“Is that you, Honey?” I heard Mom yell from down
the hall.  My Mom was a very pretty lady, who had
to raise two kids all alone.  She worked hard as a
deli  manager  in  our  local  super-market,  and

always  seemed  to  have  a  smile  on  her  face.
Sometimes,  I  worried  that  she  worked  too  hard.
She was older than most of my friends’ moms, and
shouldn’t  have  been  doing  as  much  manual  labor
as  she  did.    My  friends  used  to  tease  me  when  I
was  little  about  my  Mom  being  the  same  age  as
their grandmas, but I still thought she was the best
Mom around.  When I would see laundry detergent
commercials  on  television,  I  remembered  my
childhood  being  just  like  what  was  portrayed  in
them.    The  rays  of  sun  would  be  coming  in  the
windows,  with  a  gentle  spring  breeze.    Mom
would  always  have  everything  smelling  so  great,
and welcome me home from school with a perfect
smile on her loving face.

“Yeah. I’m starting on my homework now. Are
we still going to look at lights tonight?” I asked
her.

“As long as you and your sister get your homework
done in time,” she hollered back from down the
hall.

My sister’s name was Sarah.  Don’t let the angelic
sounding  name  fool  you.    She  was  pretty…she
definitely  got  Mom’s  looks.    She  had  the  same
long,  wavy,  blonde  hair  that  shimmered,  and  eyes
that  changed  between  blue  and  green  depending
upon  which  type  of  a  mood  she  was  in.    Her  skin
was  very  pale,  almost  porcelain-like.    But,  my
sister could be mean….to me, at least.  I guess that
was to be expected from an older sister.  She just
turned  sixteen,  and  thought  she  was  too  cool  to
hang  around  her  dorky,  younger  brother.    Even  as
kids, she seemed to find ways to torment me while
we played together.  When I was barely eight, she
would only play with me if I would pet and talk to
her feet.  She would pretend they were turtles, and
if  I  didn’t  pet  them,  and  snuggle  with  them,  their
feelings would get hurt.  On several occasions, she
made  me  eat  the  dead  skin  from  her  feet…telling
me it tasted like bacon, and that the turtles made it
for me.  And, of course, she always got her way.
Anytime we had to pick a game to play or decide
on  what  to  watch  on  TV,  it  was  always  what  she
wanted.  I always figured my mom loved her more,

but it could’ve just been that she was mom’s first-
born,  or  because  they  were  both  girls.    Maybe  it
was  just  because  my  sister  threw  the  biggest  fit  if
she didn’t get her way.  One time, we were having
an  argument  at Wendy’s  about  something  and  she
took  her  packet  of  black  pepper  and  blew  the
pepper  right  into  my  eyes.    Boy,  did  it  burn!    Of
course, she claimed it was an accident, but, I knew
better.    I  told  myself  that  I  hoped  she  wasn’t
planning on coming home late and messing up our
trip to go see the Christmas lights.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

I sprung up from my history homework, as my
sister barged into my room and collapsed onto my
bed, scattering my homework all over the place.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked a bit too rudely
when I heard my sister’s sobbing.

“I  don’t  want  to  talk  about  it!”  she  replied.    I
moved  my  homework  out  of  the  way,  because  I
thought her nose was running and I definitely didn’t
need  snot  all  over  my  report  when  I  turned  it  in.

“You wouldn’t even understand,” she continued in
between sobs.

“How do you know what I’d understand?” I asked,
defensively.

“Men!”  she  exclaimed.    Before  I  could  figure  out
what she meant, she rambled on like I wasn’t even
there.    “They  will  tell  you  they  love  you,  and  that
you  mean  the  world  to  them…but,  don’t  you
believe them.  Oh no!  Don’t you believe them!”

I don’t really expect to ever be in that position
with a man, but okay…..

“They’re  all  the  same  and  only  after  one  thing.
Why can’t Andrew understand that I want to take it
slower  than  that?    He  tried  to  get  me  to  hook-up
last night, you know?” she asked rhetorically to no
one in particular, as if I weren’t really even there.
“And,  then,  when  I  said  I  just  wanted  to  kiss…he
said  he  was  fine  with  it.    But,  today  he  gives  me
the silent treatment all day, and at lunch I see him
flirting with Angela ‘the slut’ Morgan!”

“Should I be hearing this?” I asked, but she
continued as if not even hearing me.

“If he wants Angela ‘the slut’ Morgan, well, he can
have her!  I’ve got lots of guys wanting to date me.
That’s  what  I’ll  do!  I’ll  go  out  with  another  guy
tonight.    See  how  he  likes  it!”    Before  she  could
ramble  more,  I  stopped  her  and  reminded  her  that
we  were  all  going  to  look  at  Christmas  lights.
“Grow  up,  Jimmy!    How  can  you  think  of
Christmas lights at a time like this???”  And, with
that,  she  stormed  out  of  my  room,  likely  to  go
repeat the entire thing to Mom.

Even  if  she  decided  she  didn’t  want  to  go  look  at
the lights with me and Mom, I was still excited.  I
spent  the  next  two  hours  doing  my  report  until  I
smelled dinner.  As I was packing my books back
into my book bag, Mom yelled out, “Dinner time!”

I  raced  to  the  dining  room,  and  saw  we  were
having a “taco night.”  Not very Christmassy, but I
loved  Mexican  food.    Laid  out  on  the  table  were
hard, corn tortillas as well as soft, flour tortillas.

There  was  ground,  seasoned  beef,  refried  beans,
two  kinds  of  shredded  cheese,  black  olive  slices,
lettuce,  onions,  diced  tomatoes,  salsa  and  sour
cream.    My  sister  was  already  seated  at  the  table
and  seemed  to  be  in  better  spirits.    As  always,  I
started loading up my plate first.

“Hungry much?” my sister asked in a sarcastic
tone.

“You  bet…”  I  replied  with  my  mouth  full  as  I
continued  shoving  the  first  bite  in  my  mouth.    The
taco broke and all its fillings dropped out onto my
plate.  Mom and Sarah laughed contagiously.

After  dinner,  Sarah  and  I  cleaned  the  table  and
dishes.    She  made  me  wash  because  she  said  her
hands  were  too  delicate  for  dish-water.  Oh,
brother!    I  didn’t  mind  though  because  I  never
liked  drying  dishes  anyways.    I  always  thought  I
was  going  to  drop  and  break  them  because  they
were so slippery.  Once the left-overs were put up
and  the  kitchen  was  sparkling  clean  again,  Mom
told us to get our coats and shoes on so we could

get on the road for some good ole Christmas light
lookin’.

“You don’t have to tell me twice….” I hollered as
I raced to find my shoes.

“Jimmy!  I’ve told you not to get snow all over the
place  when  you  come  in  from  school,”  Mom
complained when she saw the mess the snow from
my  shoes  made.  “Go  get  a  towel  and  mop  up  the
puddles,  please.”    I  hurried  and  cleaned  up  the
mess, and we all hopped in the car.

Brrrr, rrrr, rrrr, rrrrrr….cachuk!

Mom’s  car  was  an  older,  powder-blue,  Chrysler
station-wagon  that  never  seemed  to  want  to  start
when it was cold outside.  Mom tried again, and it
finally  cranked.    “Oh  my  God…it’s  sooooo  c-c-
coooollllddddd  in  here,”  Sarah  complained.    She
always  seemed  to  be  complaining  about
something.  Mom turned on the Christmas carols to
take our minds off of the frigid car while it slowly
warmed  up.    Then,  she  stepped  outside  to  scrape
the ice from the windshield.  Meanwhile, I bundled

up  in  the  blanket  I  kept  on  the  back  seat  for  long
trips.    I  got  car  sick  very  easily,  so  if  we  were
going to be in the car long, I always had to nap to
prevent  myself  from  getting  too  nauseous.    There
was  always  a  blanket  and  pillow  waiting  for  me,
just in case.

“Jingle  Bells!    Jingle  Bells!  Jingle  all  the
waaaayyyy…”  I  sang  as  we  backed  out  of  the
driveway.  The car began to heat up and we started
out to the first neighborhood.  The first few houses
didn’t  have  any  lights  on,  even  though  their  yards
were  decorated.    We  did  manage  to  find  enough
houses that had their lights on to make it worth it,
though.  We sang along to the carols on the radio,
in  between  our  trio  of  “ooohhhhs”  and  “aaahhhs”
as  we  saw  bigger  and  bigger  displays  of  lights.
One  house  even  had  wooden  cut  outs  of  cartoon
characters,  and  had  re-enacted  a  scene  from  my
favorite  Christmas  special,  involving  a  lonely
Christmas tree.

Once we left a few of the smaller neighborhoods,
we made our way to the King of Neighborhoods,

as  I  nick-named  the  sub-division  due  to  the
enormous  sizes  of  the  houses.    I  don’t  know  if
you’d  call  the  houses  in Ashton  Woods  Estate
mansions, but they are certainly the biggest houses
I had ever seen.  Each house was covered in stone,
and  even  had  a  smaller  attached  home  for  their
housekeepers or cooks.  We weren’t what I would
call  poor,  but  we  rented  our  home…and  had  an
older  car.    Mom  provided  for  my  sister  and  I
alright and we haven’t been on welfare.  Even so,
money was tight.  I could never imagine living in a
house  as  large  and  luxurious  as  the  ones  I  was
looking at.  There must have been at least seven or
eight bedrooms in each main house…and probably
just  as  many  bathrooms.  Imagine  that….not
having to share a bathroom with Sarah anymore.
It brought a smile to my face.

The lights and decorations on the mansions looked
so elegant.  It was my absolute favorite stop every
year.  My mom always worried that we would get
arrested, because of the looks of our car.  “Surely,
they’ll  think  we’re  casing  the  joint,”  she  always

joked.    One  of  the  houses  had  a  huge  tree  in  the
middle of the spacious, front yard, and they always
decorated  it  to  look  like  a  Christmas  tree,
complete  with  the  tree  skirt  and  larger  than  life
presents underneath.  It was so big, it reminded me
of the tree at the end of the How the Grinch Stole
Christmas  cartoon  special.    If  I  would  ever
become  rich,  I’d  want  to  give  my  Mom  a
Christmas  tree  like  that…with  just  as  many
presents.

We continued looking at more houses and more
pretty lights, but I must have fallen asleep because
I awoke to my Mom tucking me in to bed.

“Sweet dreams, Jimmy,” she said as she kissed my
forehead.

“Goodnight, Mom,” I lazily muttered back.

BBBBBZZZZZ. BBBBBZZZZZ. BBBBBZZZZZ.
BBBBBZZZZZ.

I hated my alarm clock. Connor had an iPod dock
that would wake him to his favorite music. I didn’t

have an iPod or cell phone…hell; we didn’t even
have enough money for a generic mp3 player. I
tossed my simple but effective alarm clock across
the room and slowly got out of bed.

I  had  to  bang  on  the  bathroom  door,  repeatedly.
“Hurry  up!”    As  usual,  Sarah  was  in  there  doing
her  makeup.    “You  can  do  that  in  your  room,”  I
suggested for about the millionth time.

“I have to look extra, extra hot today, you know…
so I can make Andrew jealous,” she explained as
she exited our only bathroom, “…so, chill out,
dweeb.”

“Whatever…” I mumbled as I closed the door and
started  the  shower.    I  wasn’t  really  a  vain  guy.    I
didn’t  get  haircuts  every  two  weeks  like  Connor,
or  workout  religiously  like  Mikey.    Most  days  I
barely ran a comb through my hair.  But, I thought I
was an attractive enough guy, in an average sort of
way.

After getting ready and grabbing my book bag, I
made my way next door to Connor’s so we could

head  to  the  bus  stop.    We  always  rode  the  bus  on
cold  mornings,  because  it  was  just  too  cold  and
early to make a hike to school in the snow and ice.
Most  of  our  friends  got  rides  to  school  from  their
parents,  but  Connor’s  parents  and  my  Mom  were
already at work by the time school started.

As we pulled up to the school, Mikey was there
waiting. “What took ya’ll so long?” he asked with
a fake, southern drawl.

“We’re here at the same time as always, Mikey,” I
replied.  He just punched my shoulder and started
telling  us  about  the  cool,  new  tablet  computer  he
got  last  night  for  Hanukkah.    Mikey  lived  on  the
wealthier  side  of  town.    His  parents  were  both
doctors,  so  he  tended  to  always  have  the  best  of
everything.  I liked living vicariously through him,
especially when he would tell us about all the new
gadgets he got as presents.  But, after 10 minutes of
him  rambling  on  about  this  new  $700  tablet
computer, even I was jealous and ready to change
the subject.  “So….how did you guys think you did
on yesterday’s English Lit test?” I offered to steer

the subject in a different direction.

“I aced that biotch!” exclaimed Mikey, even though
he rarely got anything above a “C.”

“I think I did pretty well, too,” I stated.

Of course, Mikey had to start in on me, again.
“I’m surprised you could concentrate on the test,
what, with you drooling over April all day.”

“I  think  that  was  you,  Mike!”  Connor  interjected,
coming to my rescue yet again.  “We’d better get to
homeroom, though, before the bell rings.”  We took
our seats just as the second bell rang.

The rest of the day went by without incident. In
Biology, April even gave me a note that of course
smelled of roses. I waited until last period,
though, to read it:

Jimmy,

I think you’re really
cute. I hope you
think

I’m

pretty,

also.

I was hoping you’d
ask me to the Winter
Dance, if you don’t
already have a date.

Let

know…

okay?

It  was  a  short  note,  but  one  that  made  me  very
happy.  It got me equally as nervous, though.  I had
never even held a girl’s hand…so how was I going
to  take  one  to  the  dance?    I  had  nothing  to  wear,
and  I’d  have  to  get  a  corsage.    At  the  end  of  the
night,  she’d  probably  expect  me  to  kiss  her.    It’s
not that I didn’t want to, but what if I was bad at it
and  she  told  everyone  at  school?    I  definitely
didn’t want Mikey to know about this note, but I’d
probably  tell  Connor  about  it  on  the  way  home
from school.

“Hey, Connor,” I started as we made our way
home, “April gave me a note today in Biology.”

“No way, dude! That’s great….what’d it say?”

“She wants to go to the Winter Dance with me.” I
explained. Connor thought that was great. “But,
I’m scared. I have never been that close to a girl.
How will I know if I should kiss her?”

“You’ll just know,” he offered with confidence.
Connor had kissed a few girls over the last year,
even though he never really dated any of them.

“How will I know how to kiss,” I asked, “…so I
don’t gross her out?”

My  best  friend  just  started  cracking  up  laughing.
“You  know  I’m  your  best  friend  and  would  do
anything for you, dude….but, I’m not kissing you!”
he  teased.    Hearing  that  made  me  laugh  and
lightened my mood.

That is, until we rounded the next corner.  Blue and
red  lights  were  flashing  near  my  house.    I  could
see  a  portly  police  officer  putting  my  Mom  in  the

back of a squad car. She was handcuffed!

I forgot about Connor and the note from April, and
sprinted  to  my  house  as  the  police  car  containing
my  Mom  drove  off.    I  don’t  know  when  I  started
crying, but tears were streaming down my face.  At
first,  I  figured  it  was  just  snowflakes  that  landed
on  me,  melting.    I  was  screaming,  trying  to  catch
my mother.  I didn’t know what was going on.  As I
reached  my  house,  a  tall,  middle-aged,  uniformed
officer asked if I was James Nelson.

“Where did you take my Mom?” I screamed,
through my sobbing and tears.

“It’ll be alright, son,” the officer told me. “Are you
James Nelson?”

“YES! YES! Why did you take my Mom away?” I
demanded.

“Because she isn’t your Mom,” the tall officer
answered.

That’s all I remember before I fainted.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13

The Homecoming Reunion John Green

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12

The Broken Dreams John Green

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13

Document Outline