ONE LAST WISH

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DEDICATION

Selma and Sejla this is for you

ROLOGUE

_______________

UBREY

Age 17

I  PEEK  THROUGH  MY  LASHES  to  look  across
the  table.  My  stomach  dips  and  my  heart  beats
funny,  like  it  always  does  when  a  pair  of  golden
hazel  eyes  meet  mine.  Since  I  can  remember,
Denver Clayton has had the same effect on me. He
makes  me  nervous,  so  nervous  it  feels  like  I  might
come  out  of  my  skin  when  I’m  around  him.  And
I’m around him a lot, because his family and mine
are close and we go to school together.

“You don’t have to sit here with us, honey,”

Shelby says, and I look across the table to her. “If
you’re  done,  you  can  go  hang  with  the  boys.”
Shelby  is  my  dad’s  wife,  my  stepmom,  who’s
actually  more  of  a  mom  to  me  than  my  mom  has
ever been. I love her; we’re close—really close.

“I…” I start. I don’t really want to go hang with

my brothers, meaning my twin brother Steven and
my stepbrother Hunter. Don’t get me wrong, I like
them most of the time, but they are still annoying.

“We can go hang outside,” Denver says, and my

hands start to become damp as he pushes back
from the table and stands to wait for me.

Oh, God. What do I do? I look around at

everyone. My dad looks annoyed, Shelby and Joe
—Denver’s mom—are both smiling, and Paul—
Denver’s dad—is looking at the ceiling with his lips
twitching like he finds something funny.

“Uh… okay.” I slide out of my seat then look at

Joe. “Thank you for dinner.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” She winks.
I bite my lip, nod once, and then tuck my hands

into the front pocket of my overlarge hoodie. I keep
my head ducked and follow Denver outside, and he
leads us across the lawn to an old tire swing. I take
a  seat  on  the  rubber  tire,  watching  him  lean  back
against the tree and cross his arms over his chest. I
push  off  the  ground  with  the  tips  of  my  toes  and
study his handsome face, remembering what Shelby
said a year ago when he turned seventeen. “Aubrey,
that  boy  seems  to  only  get  better  looking  with
age.”

She was right. When I was thirteen and Denver

fourteen, he was a cute boy. But Denver at eighteen
is handsome. His jaw no longer has a softness to it.
It’s now strong with sharp angles that give a

glimpse  of  what  he  might  look  like  in  a  few  years
when  he  fully  settles  into  adulthood.  His  eyes
haven’t  changed,  though  the  hazel  color  still
reminds  me  of  the  aurora  borealis  you  can
sometimes  catch  a  glimpse  of  on  a  clear  night  in
Alaska where we live. The greens and yellows mix
together  perfectly  and  stand  out  spectacularly
against his dark hair and lashes.

My eyes land on his full lips, I quickly look away

when I feel my cheeks warm. I think I’ve imagined
kissing him a million times, what his lips would feel
like against mine, how he’d taste, how it would
feel. A part of me knows that one touch would send
me floating away. One kiss would change
everything, my whole world.

“So what’s going on with you and Gabe?” he

asks suddenly, and my head flies up meeting his
intense gaze.

“Gabe?” I touch my toes to the ground to stop

swinging.

“Yeah, you two are together all the time. Is he

your boyfriend?”

My cheeks heat further and I drop my eyes to

the ground. “He’s my friend,” I reply quietly. Gabe
moved to town a few years ago, and since then
we’ve become good friends. He’s sweet. I like
being around him, because he makes it easy. I don’t
feel any pressure to talk or fit in, and being around
him, I can just be me.

“Just friends?” he questions, and I focus on him

once more, wondering why he’s asking.

“Yeah, we’re just friends.” I push off and start

swinging once more.

“Bre, we’re heading home,” Dad calls, and I turn

to find him and Shel saying goodbye to Paul and
Joe on the front porch.

“Coming!” I yell back, and then I look toward

Denver’s shoulder, mumbling, “See you at school
Monday.”

I don’t see him take a step toward me, but I feel

his fingers wrap around mine to stop me before I
can walk away. My breath catches as I look up into
his eyes—way up, because he’s already at least a
foot taller than me.

“Are you going to the party tonight?”
“What?” I ask in a daze, my focus on the feel of

his warm, slightly rough fingers wrapped around
mine.

“Party… at Lincoln’s house tonight. Are you

going?”

Lincoln is Denver’s best friend; they’ve been

best  friends  forever.  I  know  Lincoln’s  parents  are
cool with him throwing parties at their house, since
everyone  talks  about  it—including  my  dad,  who’s
the sheriff. Lincoln’s parents say they’d rather have
their  son  under  their  roof  drunk  than  wasted
somewhere  unknown.  I  can  understand  their  logic,
since  a  bunch  of  teenagers  hanging  out  drunk  out

on the road where kids like to party or in the woods
could end up in disaster. Has ended up in disaster in
the past.

“Are you coming?” he repeats, giving my fingers

he’s still holding a gentle squeeze.

“I… I don’t know.” Parties aren’t really my

thing. Even growing up with the kids I go to school
with, I still feel out of place whenever I’m around
them.

“You should come,” he says, and my stomach

fills with butterflies and dances with excitement,
because he sounds like he really wants me to go.

“I’ll ask my dad,” I finally get out, and his lips

tip up into a small smile.

“If he says yes, let me know if you need a ride.”
A ride. Holy cow, my knees shake at the idea of

riding in his truck with him.

“Sure.” I grin, trying to keep myself from

jumping up and down like a total loon and making a
fool out of myself.

“Hopefully you’ll come.” His hold on me

tightens ever so slightly before he lets me go.

I don’t say anything else, because I’m not sure I

can talk. Instead, I turn and rush to say goodbye to
his parents before getting in my dad’s truck, where
Shel and I spend the drive home convincing my dad
to let me go to the party.

_______________

Looking around the crowded living room, I wonder
why I came and why I can’t seem to be like the rest
of the people here. My classmates all seem relaxed,
and  judging  by  the  laughing  and  joking,  they’re
having a good time. Then there’s me, hanging in the
darkest  corner  of  the  room  in  an  attempt  to  be
invisible.  I  lean  back  against  the  wall  behind  me
and hold the beer I was given when I made it here
closer to my stomach. It’s still full. I tried to drink it
when it was handed to me, but the second the taste
hit my tongue, I wanted to spit it out on the floor. I
never had a drink until tonight, not even a sip of my
dad’s beer or Shelby’s wine. I now know that beer
is  gross—actually,  really  gross.  Maybe  if  it  wasn’t
warm it wouldn’t be so bad, but that’s doubtful.

“Are you okay?” Gabe, who I asked to come

with me, questions, coming up to my side.

I turn my head and look at him. “Yeah.”
“Liar.” He knocks his shoulder into mine and I

press  my  lips  together  to  keep  from  smiling.  I  roll
my  eyes  at  him  when  he  grins.  Gabe  is  taller  than
me,  but  not  by  much,  and  lean  from  swimming
everyday  at  the  local  indoor  swimming  pool.  He’s
cute with blond hair that has a hint of red in it, and
blue eyes that are always smiling. Unlike me, Gabe
doesn’t  have  an  issue  with  talking  to  people  and
making friends. Still, he never pressures me to hang
out  with  anyone  else,  because  he  knows  it  makes
me  feel  awkward.  When  he  leans  back  against  the

wall next to me, I scan the room, wondering if I
should just call Shelby to come pick me up, since I
haven’t seen Denver since I got here.

I turn to tell Gabe that I’m going to leave, but

stop  when  my  stomach  starts  to  dance.  I  turn  my
head  in  the  opposite  direction,  and  when  I  do,  my
heart  starts  to  speed  up.  “Hey,”  Denver  greets  me
with a small smile.

“Hi.” I smile back, and his eyes soften, making

the butterflies in my stomach dance and flip.

He looks over at Gabe and lifts his chin in that

cool way guys do before his eyes come back to me.
“I’m glad you came.”

I swear I feel his fingers brush mine against my

stomach and my heart thumps even harder.

“Denver, get your ass over here!” someone

shouts, and he looks in the direction of the kitchen,
his jaw going hard.

“Christ, they’re already wasted.” He looks back

at me and shakes his head, seeming annoyed. “Will
you be here for a while?” he asks as the group of
people in the kitchen start chanting for him to join
them.

“Probably.” I shift from foot to foot. I really

don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stick
around, not with how out of place I feel.

“Don’t leave before we can talk.”
“I—”
“Please,” he adds, and hearing the softness in his

tone, I nod. “Good.”

This time I know I feel his fingers skim gently

across mine before he gives Gabe another chin lift
and  turns  to  walk  across  the  room  toward  the
kitchen.  My  stomach  feels  funny  as  I  watch  his
friends  greet  him  with  hoots  and  body  jolting
pounds  on  the  back.  Unlike  me,  he  fits  in;  he
always has.

Why am I here? Why did he want me to come,

and what does he want to talk to me about?

“Do you want to go hang outside?” Gabe asks,

and I pull my eyes from Denver to look at him.

“Yeah.”
“Come on.” He takes my hand in his and leads

me through the crowded house to the back door.
“Better?” he questions once we’re standing outside
on the back wooden deck under the star-filled
night.

“I wish I wasn’t so awkward,” I admit, setting

my beer on the railing so I can tuck my hands into
the front pocket of my hoodie.

“It’s cute,” he smiles, tugging the end of my hair.
Giggling, I shake my head. “It’s not.” I turn

away  from  him  and  my  eyes  catch  on  the  window
that  looks  into  the  kitchen—a  window  I  can  see
Denver  kissing  Pamela  through.  I  pull  my  eyes  off
them, feeling my heart in my stomach.

Pamela’s a senior who’s so pretty she’s actually

had modeling jobs for a couple of well-known

designers.  I’ve  overheard  her  say  that  after
graduation  she’s  moving  to  New  York  to  work  full
time  as  a  model.  I  have  no  doubt  she’ll  do  well  if
she  does  go.  Then  again,  maybe  she  won’t  go;
maybe  she’ll  stick  around  for  Denver,  or  maybe
he’ll go with her.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Gabe

says, and I try to focus on him and not the way my
heart feels like it’s being crushed inside my chest
and my stomach is turning with nausea.

“Hmm?” I look over at him, noticing he looks

tense. Actually studying him he looks nervous.

“I was wondering if you’d want to…” He pulls

my hand out of my sweatshirt, grounding me with
his touch. “I was wondering if you’d want to be my
girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend,” I repeat on a quiet breath, dropping

my eyes to his hand wrapped around mine.

“I know we’re friends, but I like you. I’ve

always liked you.”

I stare into his eyes and my heart lodges itself in

my throat as I think about my answer. With Gabe,
things have always been easy. He doesn’t make me
nervous or anxious. With one smile or touch, he
doesn’t make me feel like I’m out at sea searching
for an anchor to keep me tethered so I don’t float
away. He makes me feel like I’m safe. I need safe.

“Yes,” I whisper, lifting my eyes to his, and he

smiles. I want to smile back, but I don’t, because in

my heart I know I don’t actually want safe.

_______________

ENVER

Age 21

I lift the bottle in my hand and drink deep, closing
my  eyes  as  alcohol  burns  down  my  throat  and
warms my stomach. I’ve been drinking for a month
straight, since the day I came back into town. Since
the  day  I  found  out  Aubrey  and  Gabe  are  getting
married.  No  one  told  me  about  the  impending
wedding. Even my parents kept the news from me.

“Drinking isn’t going to stop tomorrow from

happening,” Lincoln says from my side, and I turn
to glare at him. “Fuck, man.” He jerks his fingers
through his dark hair. “I know—”

“You don’t know shit,” I growl, standing and

taking the bottle with me as I walk across the room.

“Dude, this shit is fucking jacked.” He’s right; it

is jacked. Being in love with a woman who is
marrying someone else is completely fucking
jacked. “I understand why you’re—”

“Don’t. Do not fucking go there.” I point at him

with one finger, and he shakes his head. I lift the
bottle and take another pull, willing myself to

fucking black out already.

“You need to stop.” He gets in my face, pressing

his chest against mine.

“Back the fuck up.” My hand balls into a fist and

adrenalin rushes through me. I’m ready for a fight,
been ready for a fight for days, months—no
fucking years.

“If you want to stop the wedding, I’ll be there

with you, cheering you the fuck on. But I won’t
watch you slowly kill yourself using a bottle to do
it.”

I close my eyes, my chest aching with every

breath I take. “She was supposed to be mine,” I grit
out through clenched teeth. “She was supposed to
be mine!” I roar, letting the bottle fly and watching
it shatter against the wall on impact, the gold liquid
exploding everywhere.

“I know.” He grabs the back of my neck, pulling

my forehead to his. “I know.”

“She was supposed to be mine,” I repeat once

more, my voice hoarse.

_______________

ENVER

Six years later

Feeling  my  cell  vibrate  in  my  back  pocket,  I  drop
the rope  in my  hand  to the  wood  deck of  my  boat
and  wipe  the  sweat  from  my  face  with  the
underside  of  my  tee.  I  have  three  hours  before  I
need  to  leave  port  and  it’s  already  dark,  making  it
hard  to  get  shit  done—meaning  I  shouldn’t  be
taking a call right now. I should be getting my ass in
gear. Pulling out my cell, I don’t look at the screen
before putting it to my ear.

“Yeah,” I answer, walking to the edge of the

deck near the dock, untying the rope there, tossing
it behind me, and hearing it land with a loud thud.

“Denver, it’s Gabe.”
“Gabe?” My brows draw together tightly. I only

know one Gabe, and I have no idea why he’d call
me. We’re not friends; have never been friends.
The only thing he and I have in common is Aubrey.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat.
“Is everything all right?” I ask as worry fills the

pit of my stomach.

“Yeah... no.”
I listen to him take a deep breath, and my body

coils tight like the universe is telling me that
whatever he’s about to say is going to turn my
world upside down.

“Is Bre okay?” I question when he doesn’t say

more.

“I’m dying, man.” As his words register, my

breath leaves on a silent whoosh and my stomach

turns. “I’ve got a couple months at best. The
doctors don’t have an exact time period, obviously,
but it’s inevitable.”

“Jesus, I’m so fucking sorry,” I whisper, looking

into the dark water at the edge of my boat.

“Yeah,” he murmurs back, and I grab the back of

my neck, holding tight. “I need a favor.”

“Anything,” I reply, instantly squeezing my eyes

closed.

“When I’m gone, look after Aubrey for me.”
Fuck.
“She loves you, and I know you feel the same

about her.” His statement feels like a knife to the
chest.

Fuck.
“Gabe—”
“She and I have had a good run,” he says quietly,

and I squeeze my neck tighter, trying to cut off the
pain his words are causing, that knife in my chest
twisting deeper. “I’ve always known she was meant
to be yours.”

“Gabe,” I repeat, having not one goddamn clue

what to say to him.

“Just promise you’ll look after her.”
Hearing the defeat in his tone and feeling my

throat close up, it takes every ounce of willpower I
have to push out two words. “I will.” As soon as
my answer takes flight on the wind, the phone goes
dead in my hand.

“Fuck.” I lean my head back and look up at the

night sky just in time to catch a star shoot across
the dark. I don’t even think as I close my eyes and
make a wish.

I have no idea that hundreds of miles away,

someone else is making a wish on that same exact
star.

_______________

UBREY

One month later

I  lean  against  my  kitchen  counter  and  watch  my
dad  tie  up  the  garbage  to  take  it  out,  trying  to
remember  when  the  last  time  was  I  took  out  the
trash  myself.  It’s  been  a  long  time,  too  long.  I
probably  should  have  taken  it  out  every  now  and
then over the last few years. Then again, I probably
should have done a lot of stuff I didn’t do over the
last few years.

“Honey.” Shelby’s hand on my arm brings me

out of my head and I focus on her worried face. “I
was thinking I’d stay with you tonight. We can
watch a movie or jus—”

“Maybe tomorrow,” I cut her off, and her hand

on my arm spasms. “Sorry.” I blow out a long
breath. “I’m just tired. All I want to do is take a
shower and go to sleep.” Sleep forever, sleep until I
wake up and don’t hurt anymore.

“I don’t think you should be alone, not after

today.”  She  doesn’t  say  why.  She  doesn’t  have  to.
Today,  I  spread  my  husband’s  ashes  out  at  sea,
something  his  family  asked  me  to  do.  Something  I
really  didn’t  want  to  do  but  did  anyways,  because
they wanted me to.

“I need to be alone, since...” I swallow over

what  feels  like  shards  of  glass  in  my  throat  and
push through the pain of the words I don’t want to
say.  “Since  Gabe…  since...”  I  try  to  say  it,  but  I
can’t.  “Since  then,  I  haven’t  been  alone.  I  really
want  some  time  alone.  I  really  need  some  time
alone.” I feel like I’m suffocating, there have been
so many people in and out of my house the last few
days, everyone constantly hovering over me, asking
what  I  need,  if  I’m  okay.  I  know  everyone  means
well, but it’s too much.

“Okay, gorgeous,” she whispers, sliding my hair

over my shoulder.

“Thank you.” I roll my lips together. “Thank you

f-for—” Tears spring to my eyes and I try—I try
with everything in me to fight them back, but it
doesn’t work. “Just… thanks.”

“Shhh.” Her arms wrap around me and I tuck my

face into the crook of her neck. I don’t want to cry
anymore.  I  don’t  think  I  should  be  able  to  cry
anymore.  I  have  no  idea  how  my  body  is  still
capable  of  producing  tears  after  the  buckets  I’ve
cried. “It will be okay. I promise it will get easier.”
She rubs my back.

“Get rid of everyone, baby. I’ve got her,” Dad

says as I’m transferred into his arms, and his
familiar scent comforts me.

“Sure,” Shelby whispers.
“Thanks, baby,” Dad replies. I rest the side of

my face against his chest and hold on to his waist,
squeezing my eyes closed. “If I could take this pain
from you, gorgeous, I would.”

“I’ll be okay,” I try to reassure him, because I

know he’s worried about me. I know he thinks I’m
going  to  break  at  any  moment.  His  hand  cups  the
back of  my head,  and  his lips  touch  the top  of  my
hair  and  stay  there  while  I  listen  to  Shelby  in  the
living  room  tell  everyone  it’s  time  to  go.  “I  should
probably tell everyone thank you for coming over.”
I try to pull away.

“Don’t worry about that,” Dad mutters, holding

me tighter.

“Everyone’s gone,” Shelby says a minute—or

what could be an hour—later, and I open my eyes
and watch her walk toward my dad and me. “Your
sister and brothers said they’d be over in the
morning.”

I nod, not surprised they’re only giving me till

morning. The three of them have stuck close to me
the last few days. Every time I turn around, one or
all of them are right there.

“You sure you want to be alone tonight?” Dad

questions.

I tip my head back and my eyes meet his. I hate

how stressed he is because of me. “Yes.” I squeeze
his waist. “If I need you guys, you’re just next
door,” I remind him.

“Right.” He cups my cheek, looking torn, and

then his eyes go over the top of my head and he
communicates something with Shelby before he
looks at me once more. “We love you.”

“I know. I love you guys too.” I swallow down a

fresh wave of tears and he drops his forehead to
mine, resting it there for a moment before letting
me go.

“Don’t hesitate to call me if you need me,”

Shelby says, giving me another hug.

When she releases me, I watch Dad take her

hand and lead her away. I wait until I hear the front
door  open  and  close  before  I  leave  the  kitchen.  I
don’t check to make sure the front door is locked,
because  I  know  my  dad  and  know  he  locked  it  on
his  way  out.  I  do  turn  off  all  the  light  as  I  head
through  the  house,  because  Gabe  would  lose  his
mind if I didn’t. He was always going on about the
cost  of  electricity,  probably  because  it  was

something  his  mom  and  dad  had  drilled  into  his
head  from  birth.  I  used  to  hate  coming  home  to  a
dark house, but whenever I complained about it to
Gabe,  he  would  say  something  to  make  me  laugh
and  I’d  forget  all  about  hating  it.  At  least  until  the
next time I came home and the house was dark.

As I make it to the hall just outside the master

bedroom,  I  stop  and  stare  into  the  dark  room.  I
close  my  eyes  and  will  my  feet  to  move  forward,
but they refuse. Giving up, I turn and head upstairs
to the top floor. I grew up in this house with my dad
and brother. When my dad and Shelby got together,
we  all  moved  into  her  house  right  next  door,  and
they  kept  this  house  for  the  extra  income  they
earned  from  renting  it  out.  Then  when  Gabe  and  I
married, they sold it to us.

When I get upstairs, I go to the bathroom, strip

out of my clothes, and climb into the shower, letting
the hot water run over me until it starts to become
cold. Stepping out, I wrap up in a towel then go to
my  old  room,  where  I  grab  a  pair  of  sweats  I
haven’t worn in years along with an old sweatshirt
and  a  pair  of  thick  socks.  I  settle  into  bed  and  lie
there  forever  wide-awake  while  staring  out  the
window before giving up on sleep.

Needing some air, I go back downstairs, grabbing

a blanket off the back of the couch on the way to
the front door. As soon as I step outside, I move to
sit in one of the chairs on the porch, put my feet up

on  the  rail,  and  then  toss  the  blanket  over  my  lap.
The  night  is  clear,  the  stars  so  bright  you  can  see
every constellation without the help of a telescope.
I  know  for  certain  the  view  I  have  right  now  isn’t
something many people will ever experience. I lean
my  head  back  and  close  my  eyes,  breathing  deep
and  letting  the  cool  night  air  help  fight  back  the
pain  that  seems  to  engulf  my  chest  every  time  I
take a breath.

“Bre.”
My body jolts upward, my eyes spring open, and

my  hand  covers  my  pounding  heart  as  I  stare  at
Denver’s  shadowy  figure  at  the  bottom  of  the
stairs.  “You  scared  the  crap  out  of  me,”  I  breathe,
taking  in  his  dark  hair  and  the  beard  covering  the
lower  half  of  his  face.  Except  for  the  last  three
days,  I  have  rarely  seen  him  since  the  night  Gabe
asked  me  to  be  his  girlfriend,  and  when  I  did  see
him, he kept his distance. I kept mine too, but every
now  and  then,  I’d  ask  Joe  about  him.  She  never
tells  me  much,  just  that  he’s  doing  well.  Still,  I’m
always happy to hear about him.

“Sorry. I saw you out here and decided to come

over and check on you.” He takes the steps up onto
the porch and sits down in the chair next to mine.
“I would ask how you’re doing, but I don’t think I
need to.”

“You’re probably right,” I mutter, putting my

feet back up on the railing. “I… I saw you

yesterday at the wake and earlier tonight. Thanks
for coming. I… I probably should have… I just—”

“Stop.” He rests his hand over mine, and I jerk it

away when his touch seems to burn me.

“Sorry.” I shake my head, feeling like an idiot for

reacting to his touch like that.

“Don’t apologize.” He leans back in the chair

and places his booted feet up on the rail next to
mine. “Why are you out here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” I rest my head against the

back of the chair. “Why are you out so late?”

“It’s only ten. I was over at your parents’ with

Mom and Dad. I came out to have a smoke and saw
you out here. Wanted to check on you.”

“Oh, I thought it was later than that.” I look over

at him. “You smoke?”

“On occasion.” He shrugs.
“You should quit,” I inform him, wanting to add

that smoking kills, but I don’t, because nowadays it
seems  like  everything  has  the  potential  to  kill  you.
Pollution in the air, exposure to the sun, chemicals
in  the  food  you  eat  and  in  the  water  you  drink,  or
an  unexpected  brain  tumor  could  end  your  life
suddenly.  Really,  it’s  a  miracle  people  are  living
past the age of twenty.

“I should.”
“Pardon?” I ask, confused by his statement.
“I should quit smoking.”
“Right, sorry.” I shake my head, looking at the

night sky and the dark clouds rolling in.

“When was the last time you slept?” he asks

gently, and I focus on him once more.

“Last night.”
“Okay, let me rephrase that. When was the last

time you had a good night’s sleep?”

“A month ago.” My throat starts to get tight and

I close my eyes. One month is all I had. Gabe had
always had migraines, but recently they became so
bad he’d get sick and be unable to get out of bed. It
took me forever to convince him to go to the doctor
for help, but I finally did. The doctor in town didn’t
like  the  symptoms  Gabe  described  and  decided  to
send  him  to  Anchorage  to  run  some  test.  That’s
when  we  found  out  he  had  a  tumor.  Not  just  a
tumor,  one  that  was  already  at  a  Stage  Four.  The
doctors  and  specialists  in  Anchorage  wanted  to  do
chemo  and  radiation  and  Gabe  agreed,  but  he
didn’t even make it to his first treatment; he had an
aneurism  and  died  suddenly  while  at  his  parents’
house.

“I thought we had more time,” I whisper as wet

tears trek down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Bre. So fucking sorry.” He wraps his

hand around mine.

“Me too.” I don’t pull away. I flip my hand over

and lace my fingers with his, allowing his warmth
and strength to comfort me.

“He called me.”

“What?” I open my eyes and meet his gaze.
“He called me.” He looks away, and my heart

starts to beat funny inside my chest.

“What did he say?”
“He said he was dying.” I try to pull my hand

free, but he doesn’t let go. “He asked me to be here
for you.” He pauses. “I would have done that
anyways.”

“Why would he ask you to do that?” I whisper

my question, not expecting him to answer.

“He knew I cared about you.”
My head jerks to the side. “We haven’t even

spoken  in  years.”  I  finally  tug  free  from  his  grasp,
his  words  rolling  though  my  head,  my  mind  trying
to  figure  out  why  Gabe  would  ask  Denver  of  all
people to look after me.

“You’re right; we haven’t, but I had my reasons.

I think you get that.”

“Do I?” I ask sarcastically, trying to cover the

new pain I’m feeling.

“Yeah, you do,” he growls, holding my gaze.
“You’re wrong. I don’t get it.”
“You know, Bre. You fucking know why I had to

cut you out of my life.” His words are harsh and
filled with pain.

“I don’t,” I deny softly, even though part of me

does know why he stopped talking to me after
Gabe and I got together. The same reason I started
to avoid him.

His eyes close slowly and he shakes his head.

“This isn’t the time for this,” he says gently,
keeping his eyes off me. “I shouldn’t have brought
it up.” He rips an agitated hand through his hair.
“Fuck. You don’t need this bullshit right now.”

I want to tell him it’s okay, but he’s right. I don’t

need this right now. I don’t need a painful walk
down memory lane to top off the misery I’m
already feeling. I don’t know why Gabe called him,
but I’m also not surprised. That was Gabe. He was
always trying to take care of me. Always.

I lean my head back and close my eyes. I must

fall asleep, because when I wake up, I’m in my bed
with blankets tucked around me. Morning light is
filtering through the blinds, and my conversation
with Denver feels like a dream.

_______________

UBREY

Five weeks later

“The tests you took aren’t wrong. You’re pregnant.
And  from  the  information  you  gave  us  about  your
last  menstrual  cycle,  I’d  say  you’re  just  about
twelve  weeks  along,”  Dr.  Haze  says,  studying  me
closely  with  a  concerned  look  in  his  bright  blue

eyes.

I really didn’t think that five tests could be

wrong,  but  I  honestly  didn’t  think  they  could  be
right either. Gabe and I had tried unsuccessfully for
three  years  to  get  pregnant  while  he  was  alive.
Each  month  when  I  had  my  period  on  time,  we
were  both  devastated.  We  talked  about  seeing  a
specialist but knew we would have to save in order
to  do  that,  since  the  only  specialist  in  Alaska  is  in
Anchorage  and  we  would  have  to  fly  out  for  any
appointments. We were saving, but it was going to
be another year or two before we were able to start
treatments.

“Aubrey.” His hand wraps around my knee,

bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry.” I blink to clear his blurry image. “This

is….”

“A shock, I’m sure,” he says gently.
I nod, thinking, That’s an understatement. Then I

look down and rest my hand over my stomach.
Gabe left me with a piece of him. “I’m going to
cry,” I whisper.

“That’s understandable.” He hands me some

tissue, and I press it to my eyes and cover my face.

I don’t know how long I sit there and cry, but it’s

a  while  before  I’m  able  to  regain  control  of  my
emotions enough to leave the office. When I arrive
home,  I  tell  my  family  the  news.  And  for  the  first
time  in  months,  I  have  something  to  look  forward

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

CURLED UP ON THE COUCH in the living room
with a cup of coffee in my hands and a fire burning
in the fireplace, I stare at the dying flames as they
flicker and dance, then smile when I hear the sound
of tiny feet coming my way. When I see my Lyra
come around the corner, rubbing her eyes, my heart
melts. My girl looks just like me, from her blonde
hair to her blue-green eyes.

“Hey, baby.” I set down my coffee cup and hold

out  my  arms  to  her.  She  climbs  up  onto  the  couch
and settles against me, closing her eyes and resting
her head on my chest. I run my fingers through her
soft hair, studying the side of her face. The last four
years  have  flown  by  in  a  flash.  One  minute,  I  was
pregnant,  and  the  next,  my  girl  was  turning  three,
and  tomorrow,  four.  I  don’t  think  you  realize  how
quickly  time  flies  until  you  become  a  parent  and
watch your child grow up before your eyes.

“Can I have pancakes for breakfast?” she asks.
“Sorry, baby, no pancakes today. I already made

you oatmeal.” I run my fingers down the side of her
face then grin when her bottom lip pops out.

“Can I have pancakes tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, you can have anything you want for

breakfast, since it’s your birthday,” I say, and she
pulls back to look at me.

“I can have cake for breakfast tomorrow?” she

tests me hopefully.

I smile. “Let me rephrase that. Tomorrow, you

can have any breakfast food you want in the
morning.”

“Can I have Denver’s scrambled eggs and your

pancakes?”

At her question, my chest feels funny. Denver

has been a steady fixture in Lyra life since the day
she was born. I really didn’t expect to see him
much after Gabe’s death, but he moved back to
town not long after I found out I was pregnant, and
since then, he’s made it a point to be part of Lyra’s
life. And mine—well, as much as I let him.

I wish I could say things between us aren’t

awkward, but they are, and over the last four years,
that awkwardness has only become worse. At first,
things were strained because of our history and
Gabe’s passing. Now, things are awkward, because
I find Denver seriously attractive but know that
there is no future for us.

“Can I?” Lyra’s softly spoken question brings me

out of my head and I focus my attention on her.

“Sorry, baby. What was your question?”
“Can I have Denver’s scrambled eggs and your

pancakes tomorrow?”

“I don’t know what Denver’s plans are

tomorrow morning.”

“Will you ask him?”
“I’ll ask him,” I agree, knowing without question

he will agree, since he seems to live for giving Lyra
whatever her heart desires.

“Okay,” she grins happily before she rests the

side of her head against my chest once more.

I press my lips to the crown of her head and

breathe in her scent. I live for these moments—
times when she wants to cuddle, times that are just
ours. Nowadays, it seems like she’s always going a
million miles an hour, trying to suck in as much
knowledge as she can. I think she asks “Why?” and
“What is that?” a billion times a day.

“You need to eat, baby. I need to get you to

Grandma’s so I can get to work.” I stand with her,
then set her on her feet. I grab my cup of coffee
then follow her to the kitchen.

“I wish you didn’t have to work,” she says,

climbing up onto one of the barstools and resting
her bottom on her calves.

I smile. “I wish that too, but I’ll be off tomorrow

for your birthday, then off for the weekend.” I fill

her bowl with oatmeal and place it in front of her
along with a cup of orange juice.

“Can we go sledding?”
“Sure, if there is still snow on the hill and maybe

I’ll see if Grandma and Grandpa want to come
too.”

“Yippie!” She shoots up, tossing her arms in the

air and making me laugh.

I refill my mug of coffee and add a splash of

hazelnut creamer then lean against the counter,
watching my baby eat her oatmeal before hustling
her back upstairs to get dressed. Once we are both
ready, I take her over to Shelby, who’s watching her
today, and drop her off.

I make it to the office at twenty till ten, clocking

in before heading outside. I walk the five blocks to
the  docks,  where  I  work  as  a  glorified  gas  station
attendant.  I  don’t  personally  fuel  the  boats  that
come in to port, but I keep track of how much gas
each boat uses, log the information, and bill them at
the  end  of  each  month.  My  job  is  in  no  way
exciting, but I do get to make my own hours for the
most part, which is a win for me as a single mother.

When I almost make it to the little shed I work in

at the  very end  of  the docks,  I  see Barry,  an  older
fishing  captain,  chatting  with  Lulu,  Seaside
Petroleum owner’s wife. Lulu and her husband Ben
are  two  of  the  kindest  people  around,  and  you
would  never  know  by  meeting  and  chatting  with

them  that  they  have  more  money  than  they  could
ever  spend  in  a  lifetime.  Not  only  do  they  own
Seaside  Petroleum,  but  they  also  own  two  of  the
four  hotels  in  town  and  a  restaurant  on  Main.  I’ve
known  them  both  my  whole  life,  which  helped  me
land  a  job  working  for  them  at  seventeen,  way
younger than any of their other employees.

Lulu’s face lights with an annoyed smile when

she  sees  me  coming,  and  I  can’t  help  but  smile,
because  I’m  sure  she’s  annoyed  with  Barry.  She’s
always  irritated  with  Barry,  because  he’s  always
bitching  about  his  monthly  bill.  Lulu  is  only  about
four  feet  tall  and  a  hundred  pounds,  but  she  has
more sass in her pinky finger than anyone I’ve met
in  my  life.  I  think  she’s  sassy  to  make  up  for  her
lack of height. Her husband is over six feet tall and
two hundred and twenty pounds, and the fishermen
she deals with on a daily basis are pretty much the
same.  If  she  didn’t  have  the  attitude  she  has,  I’m
sure all the men in her life would walk all over her.

“Hey, Lu. Everything okay?” I ask once I join

their huddle.

“Everything’s good.”
I look at the captain. “How’s it going, Barry?”
“Same shit, different day,” he grumbles, and I

catch Lulu roll her eyes up to the heavens. “About
my invoice. Think there might be a mistake.”

“Barry, we go through this every month, and

every month, you pay what you owe for fuel. Do

we really need to do this song and dance today?”
Lulu rests her hands on her slim hips.

“I ain’t made of money, woman.” He huffs.
“Barry, you know I keep the records, and you

know I would never bill you for fuel you didn’t
use,” I remind him.

“Maybe you messed up this time?”
“I didn’t.”
“She didn’t,” Lulu states, losing patience. “I had

her take a photo every time you came in for fuel so
I’d have it as proof. Do you want me to show you
the pictures?” she questions, raising a brow at him.

He looks at me surprised, and I shrug. It was my

idea to take the pictures, because a few months
ago, he got away with not paying for over five
hundred dollars’ worth of fuel. “No.”

“Thank God. Now, can we end this meeting? I

got shit to do today, and that shit does not involve
me standing around here debating your bill with
you. A bill you’re going to pay one way or
another.”

See? Totally full of sass.
“Fine,” he mutters, looking from her to me, and

lifts his chin before taking off toward his boat.

“I swear, that guy is going to make me lose my

damn mind one day.” Lulu shakes her head,
watching him go, and then her eyes come to me and
soften.

“How excited is my girl about her birthday?”

“She asked if she could have cake for breakfast

tomorrow.” I smile when she laughs.

“Are you giving her cake for breakfast

tomorrow?”

“Um, no,” I deny with a shake of my head.
“What was her second choice?”
“My pancakes and Denver’s scrambled eggs. If

he can come over to make them for her.”

“I’m sure he will,” she says knowingly, and I

shrug. “When are you two going to—”

“Lu,” I cut her off with a quick shake my head.
“What? I see it. Everyone sees it.” She tosses out

her arms dramatically.

“You’re delusional.”
“No, you’re oblivious. That man is in love with

you.”

“Seriously, this again?” She’s been saying the

same  thing  for  the  last  four  years  and  tries  to
convince me I’m blind to Denver’s feelings for me.
I’m not; I just know we are friends—kind of. He’s
not  waiting  around  for  me  like  some  hero  in  a
romance  novel.  He’s  dated  a  few  different  women
since he’s been in town, or at least that’s what I’ve
heard.  I’ve  never  actually  seen  him  with  anyone.
Then again, I don’t get out much.

“Well, it’s true.”
“It’s not.”
“It is,” she continues to argue.
“I hate to burst your bubble, but he’s never been

anything more than friendly toward me, Lu.”

“That’s because you’ve never given him any

indication you’re ready to start dating again.”

Okay, so I don’t want to admit it, but maybe she

has a point. I haven’t given anyone a sign I’m ready
to start dating again. I don’t even know if I’m ready
now.  Gabe  was  all  I  knew  for  years,  and  I  loved
what we had. It was easy. Being with him was easy,
because  he  was  my  best  friend.  He  knew  me,
understood  how  awkward  I  was…  or  am.  Dating
someone  new  would  be  like  discovering  a  whole
new  scary  world.  I  wouldn’t  even  know  where  to
start. I should probably start though. I want to find
someone  to  spend  time  with.  I  miss  all  the  things
that  go  along  with  having  a  significant  other—the
cuddling,  the  talking,  the  sex.  But  I  could  live
without the sex, for the most part.

“Don’t you have stuff to do?” I ask when I feel

my cheeks become warm.

“Nope, I have the whole day off.”
“Liar, you never have a whole day off.”
“This is true.” She sighs. “I would have had the

day off, but Barry called in and wanted to see me
about his bill.”

“You could have let Ben handle it.”
“You know Ben. He’d lose his temper and I’d

end up at the sheriff’s station, talking to your dad.”

“True.” Ben is a big teddy bear most of the time,

but when he’s poked, he tends to fly off the handle

without much provocation. “You might not need to
work, but I do,” I say, figuring that will force her to
give up trying to convince me, even for a little
while.

“Fine, but one day you’re going to come to me

and tell me that you and Denver are together, and
when that day comes, I’m going to try not to say I
told you so.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes at her.
“What time is the party tomorrow?”
“Everyone’s coming over around five for pizza

and cake.”

“Do you want Ben and me to bring anything?”
“Just yourselves,” I say, then turn as a boat starts

to pull in. When I see the boat, my stomach dips
when it totally shouldn’t be dipping.

Denver’s boat is unmistakable. It’s white with a

thick  lavender  stripe  around  it.  Lyra  picked  the
lavender color when Denver had it repainted a year
ago.  I  thought  he  was  crazy  when  he  asked  her  to
choose what color to paint it. I also thought for sure
that she was going to pick pink, but she didn’t; she
chose  lavender.  Not  much  better  than  pink,  but  he
didn’t back out when she told him what color. And
really,  the  boat  looks  kinda  cool  with  the  lavender
stripe  and  the  black  curly  lettering  of  his  ship’s
name, the Aurora.

“Look what the tide brought in,” Lu says,

grinning from ear to ear.

I fight another eye roll then go to the shed and

turn up the heat inside, since it’s close to freezing. I
drop  my  purse  and  grab  my  receipt  book.  When  I
get  to  Denver’s  boat,  he’s  standing  at  the  edge
talking  to  Lu,  but  as  soon  as  he  sees  me,  his  eyes
meet mine. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I repeat, as I tuck a piece of my blonde

hair behind my ear. “You need fuel?” At my stupid
question, he grins, making me feel like a total dork,
because there’s no other reason for him to come
here except to get fuel for his boat.

“Yeah.” He tucks his hands into the front

pockets  of  his  jeans,  a  pair  that  is  molded  to  his
thighs  in  all  the  right  places.  The  dark  thermal  he
has on today is also snug, showing off his muscular
arms,  the  wide  expanse  of  his  chest,  and  the
tightness of his abs underneath. He’s beautiful in a
masculine  way,  with  a  strong,  powerful  jaw  that  is
never completely clean of scruff, dark, thick, wavy
hair, and goldish-green eyes that are surrounded by
lashes that make me jealous. Honestly, he looks like
he was sent down to earth from heaven for the sole
purpose of testing the women of earth’s willpower.
I’m sure we’re all failing miserably. “Is my girl with
your  mom  or  mine  today?”  he  asks,  and  my  chest
feels warm. I love that he calls Lyra his girl.

“Mine today,” I reply, then add, “next week’s

your mom’s week.”

“Right.” He nods, probably knowing that every

other week our moms take turns watching Lyra
while I’m working. I used to have Gabe’s parents
helping out, but two years ago, I had to change that.

I might have loved Gabe, but the same couldn’t

be  said  for  his  family.  His  parents  are  both  a  little
odd, and not the fun kind. The kind of odd that you
have  to  be  leery  of.  They  live  mostly  off  the  land,
hate  the  government,  really  any  kind  of  authority.
They  don’t  believe  in  education  or  modern
medicine.  They  tried  numerous  times  to  tell  me,
even  when  I  couldn’t,  I  should  be  breastfeeding
Lyra.  When  I  didn’t  agree,  they  bought  another
woman’s  breast  milk  without  asking  me  first.
Needless  to  say,  when  I  found  that  out,  I  lost  my
mind. They were always trying to tell me how they
thought I should raise her. I put up with it, because
that’s what Gabe would have wanted me to do.

After the breast milk incident, I worried myself

sick that if something happened to my baby when I
wasn’t  around  that  they  wouldn’t  take  her  to  the
doctor,  that  they’d  try  to  give  her  some  kind  of
natural remedy or something. Gabe had a big, ugly
scar on his leg to prove that his parents were crazy.
When he was seven, he sliced into himself with an
ax, and his parents didn’t take him to the hospital.
Instead,  they  cleaned  and  sewed  him  up  at  home.
He ended up with gangrene and could have lost his
leg.  I  did  not  want  to  go  pick  up  my  daughter  one
day  and  find  out  that  not  only  had  she  been  left

alone with an ax, but that she had been hurt and
didn’t see a doctor.

“So, Denver, what are your plans tomorrow

morning?” Lu asks him, and he pulls his eyes off
me, both of our attention going to her.

“No plans tomorrow. What’s up?” he questions,

and I cut in before Lu can speak again. Lord only
knows what the hell she’ll make up in an attempt to
push us together.

“Ly was asking if she could have your eggs for

breakfast tomorrow for her birthday,” I explain, and
his face softens.

“I can do that.”
“Cool, she’ll be happy,” I say, and he lifts his

chin. “Let me just get you set up to fuel.” I look at
Lu. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” I hear her agree as I turn to

get to work.

Sitting in the shed four hours later, wearing my

jacket,  scarf,  hat,  and  gloves,  I  look  up  from  my
Kindle when someone taps on the glass window at
the  side  of  the  shed.  When  I  see  who  it  is,  I  smile
and  push  the  window  open  to  the  side.  “Hey,
Mike.”

Mike is not a local. He lives on one of the other

small  islands  in  Alaska,  but  comes  to  town  for
fishing at the start of every spring and doesn’t leave
until  the  end  of  summer.  He’s  cute-ish,  not
handsome  or  really  even  good-looking,  but  he’s

always got a warm smile on his face.

“Hey, Aubrey.” He starts to smile then frowns.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Heater went out. It’s been acting wonky for

days, but today it bit the dust.”

“Want me to look at it?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Lu and Ben are getting a new

one today. They should be here with it soon.”

“Cool.” He leans forward, and even though I

can’t see his hands, judging by the way his
shoulders are hunched forward, I know he’s tucked
them into the front pockets of his jeans or into his
jacket. “Did you have a good winter?”

“It was winter.” I shrug. Winters in Alaska are

brutal. Not only is it mostly dark all the time, but
it’s also freezing, and more than occasionally, there
is so much snow it’s impossible to leave the house.
If my parents didn’t live right next door, I would
probably go stir-crazy. “How was your winter?”

“Spent it in Vegas where I have a place, so it was

good.”

“I bet.” I smile. “I’ve never been to Vegas, but I

want to go sometime.”

“You should come out to see me next winter. I

have a spare room; you and your daughter could
stay there.”

“Maybe,” I agree without thinking, and his eyes

light up. Crap, now what did I do? “Did you need
something?” His boat’s not docked, but that doesn’t

mean much.

“I… Well, I actually wanted to see if we could

get dinner. Maybe next Friday, before the opener?”

“Um…” Gah, didn’t I just tell myself I should try

dating  again?  Maybe  Mike  is  the  kind  of  guy  I
should test out dating with. He always seems pretty
laid back, and he doesn’t make me nervous. Really,
he  doesn’t  make  me  anything.  No  butterflies,  no
stomach  dips.  Nothing.  “Sure,  Friday  works,”  I
agree, figuring that, between Shelby and Joe, one of
them  will  be  willing  to  watch  Lyra  for  me  for  a
couple hours while I go out.

“Really?” His eyes widen, and I can’t help but to

giggle.

“Yeah.”
“All right, cool. Wanna give me your number?”
“Sure.” I shrug, and then I give him my number

and take his. We talk for a few minutes more before
he takes off.

Once he’s gone, guilt settles in the pit of my

stomach  like  sour  milk,  and  I  wonder  if  I’m
somehow  betraying  Gabe  by  going  out  with
someone  else.  I  pull  in  a  few  deep  breaths  and
remind  myself  of  Shelby’s  words  from  a  while
back.  “Sweetheart,  you’re  still  here,  still  living
and breathing. Gabe would want you to be happy.”

Though she wasn’t talking about me dating, she

was talking about me changing out Gabe’s and my
bedroom furniture for new stuff. Still, I think she

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

“HEY,” AUBREY GREETS ME with a tired smile
as  soon  as  she  opens  the  front  door.  Her  hair  is  a
rumpled  mess—what  it  might  look  like  after  a  hot
and  heavy  round  of  sex.  Her  eyes  are  still  sleepy,
and her cheeks tinged pink. I run my eyes down her
body  and  fight  back  a  groan  when  I  see  what  she
has  on.  It’s  not  exactly  sexy,  but  then  again,  she
doesn’t  need  to  walk  around  in  lingerie  to  attract
my attention. Short shorts that are black with white
piping  around  the  edge,  a  white  T-shirt  that’s  tight
and  practically  see-through,  and  socks,  long  ones
that  go  up  over  her  knees,  the  kind  basketball
players  used  to  wear  with  the  stripes  around  the
top.

“Lyra is still sleeping.” Her words drag me out of

my perusal, and I see she’s already moving away
from the door. “I was just getting ready to wake her
up,” she tells me, and my eyes drop so I can watch

as the bottom of her ass cheeks peek out with every
step  she  takes.  She  looks  at  me  over  her  shoulder,
and  I  pull  my  eyes  up  before  she  can  catch  me
ogling  her.  “I  just  put  coffee  on,  so  help  yourself.
I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

I watch her jog up the steps until she’s out of

sight  then  shake  my  head,  reminding  myself  that  I
need to be patient, that in the end, waiting will pay
off.  I  hope  so  anyway.  I’ve  been  waiting  for  some
kind of sign from her that she’s open to the idea of
dating again. So far, I’ve been waiting in vain. She’s
cordial at best when we interact. If I didn’t see her
obvious  attraction  to  me  whenever  we  come  face-
to-face,  I  would  feel  like  an  idiot  for  waiting  this
long for her.

I carry the bag I brought with me into the kitchen

and unpack the contents onto the counter. I pull out
a  pan  and  place  it  on  the  stovetop  to  warm  up.  I
add butter to the pan so it can melt then take out a
bowl  for  the  eggs.  I  don’t  start  cracking  them,
because that’s Lyra’s favorite part. Instead, I get to
work opening ten single slices of Kraft cheese then
cut  up  some  honey-smoked  ham  and  place  it  in  a
bowl.

I hear both girls coming down the stairs then the

sound  of  tiny  feet  coming  toward  the  kitchen.  I
rinse  my  hands  off  and  turn  just  in  time  to  see
Lyra’s  hair  in  a  ponytail  flying  behind  her  as  she
runs  straight  for  me.  I  crouch  down  on  my

haunches, and she plows into me, almost knocking
me on my ass.

“Hey, gorgeous. Happy birthday,” I whisper

against her ear, and her arms wrap tightly around
my neck as I lift her up off the ground.

“I missed you,” she tells me, tightening her hold,

and I smile before kissing the side of her head.

“I missed you too.” Even though it’s only been

two days since I’ve seen her I still miss her.

“I missed you more.” Lyra pulls back enough to

look at me and grins.

“Impossible.” I touch my lips to her forehead

then look at Aubrey. She’s standing in the doorway
to the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest,
watching us with a soft look in her eyes. I love that
look. Really, I love everything about her. I look
down at Lyra, and ask, “Are you ready to help me
make scrambled eggs?”

“With extra cheese?”
“Is there any other way to make scrambled

eggs?”

“Nope.” She shakes her head, and I smile as I set

her on the counter then move the bowl and carton
of eggs closer to her.

When she was two, she wouldn’t eat much of

anything. Her doctor was concerned about her
weight and told Bre to put her on a supplement. Bre
tried, but Lyra hated it and refused to drink it. One
morning, I was over to take care of her and I made

myself  some  scrambled  eggs.  She  ate  them  all  off
my  plate  then  asked  for  seconds.  I  came  over  for
two  months  every  morning  to  make  her  breakfast,
and  she  gained  the  weight  she  needed  and
eventually started adding more things to her diet. In
the  end,  her  doctor  was  happy  and  Bre  was
relieved. I was just glad I could help.

“Do you want a cup of coffee?” Bre asks.
I take my attention off Lyra, who’s started to

crack open eggs, to look at her. “Yeah, babe.” She
nods  and  pours  me  a  cup  then  dispense  one  for
herself.  Handing  me  mine,  she  takes  a  sip  of  hers
then  moves  around,  gathering  the  things  she  needs
to  make  pancakes.  Unlike  me,  who  would  make
them from the box, she always prepares them from
scratch.  She  could  probably  win  an  award  for  her
pancakes;  they  are  that  good—crisp  around  the
edges, soft and fluffy in the middle. Once Lyra has
the  eggs  cracked,  I  let  her  beat  them  then  dump
them in the pan.

“So, birthday girl, what are you doing today?”
“Going with Mama to look for bears,” she tells

me, and I look at Bre and raise a brow.

“We’re going out the road. Dad said the salmon

are starting to head up the river and the bears are
out. Ly wanted to see if she could get some photos
with the camera my brother sent her for her
birthday,” she explains.

“No getting out of your Jeep, and if a bear gets

close, make sure you’re able to take off.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not crazy, Den,” she tells

me, spooning her pancake batter into a pan on the
stove.

“I know, but bears are unpredictable. Remember

what happened last year to those tourists?”

“I remember,” she says softly, shivering.
Last summer, a group of tourists went out toward

the  glacier  to  watch  the  bears  as  they  caught
salmon  from  the  river.  One  of  the  bears  was  more
interested in them and destroyed their rental, trying
to  get  inside.  No  one  was  seriously  hurt,  but
someone could have been, and badly.

“Can you come with us?”
At Lyra’s question, I feel Bre tense ever so

slightly. Part of me wants to agree to go just to push
Bre, but I don’t.

“I have to work, but I’ll be here for your

birthday party tonight.”

“Oh, all right,” Lyra sighs, and I smile then kiss

her forehead. I add the ham to the eggs then wait
until they’re almost done before I add in the
cheese.

We eat breakfast in the kitchen, and then I leave

promising I’ll be back for cake and pizza. I head to
my  boat  and  start  getting  things  ready  for  next
week.  I  have  the  weekend  off,  but  there  is  always
shit  to  do  when  you’re  your  own  boss.  Once  I’m
done  with  work,  I  stop  to  pick  up  Lyra’s  birthday

gift. One of the shops in town makes custom fleece
jackets  and  vest;  you  can  choose  your  color  and
add  different  ribbons.  I  bought  Lyra  a  dark  pink
fleece  jacket  and  a  matching  vest,  with  white
ribbon  that  has  small  hearts  on  it  and  her  name
embroidered  on  the  chest.  I  know  she’ll  love  it,
since she loved the one I got my mom at Christmas.
Once  I  pick  it  up,  I  head  to  my  parents’  house  to
kill some time before the party.

I park in the driveway next to my mom’s truck

and climb out. I head inside without knocking, and
pause when I hear my mom cry, “No!” in distress.
“No, please, tell me you’re lying.” I see her on the
phone in the kitchen and head that way, wondering
who she’s talking to and what’s going on. Her head
flies up and she swallows when her eyes meet mine.
“Shel, I gotta go.” Shel, as in Aubrey’s stepmom?
Worry starts niggling the back of my mind. “I know.
Sorry, but Denver just walked in.” She looks at the
floor. “Yeah, I know. I’ll call you back as soon as I
can. Yeah, later.” She hangs up.

“What’s going on? Are Bre and Lyra okay?”

Visions of them and a bear fill my mind and it takes
everything in me not to leave and head for my
truck. She doesn’t lift her head, and that worry gets
stronger. “Mom, what the fuck? Are Bre and Lyra
okay?”

“Their both fine. Um…” She looks at me then

looks away. “Aubrey asked Shel to watch Lyra next

Friday.”

“Okay?” I frown.
“She has a date.”
I know I must have heard her wrong. It sounded

like she just said Bre has a date next Friday.
“Pardon?”

“A date. Bre has a date next Friday,” she

repeats, turning toward the sink where she starts to
wash the dishes.

“You’re fucking with me.” My mom knows how

I feel about Bre, has known for years, actually
there is a good chance everyone knows.

“Language,” she snaps, looking at me over her

shoulder. “And no, I’m not.”

Fuck. She’s not lying. What the fuck? Bre has a

date… with who?

“With who?” I ask aloud.
“What?”
“Who does she have a date with?” I growl.
“Some guy named Mike. I guess he lives out of

town  but  fishes  here  during  the  season.”  I  wrack
my  brain  trying  to  figure  out  who  Mike  is  then
frown.  I  know  a  few  Mikes,  but  most  of  them  are
married.

“Mike who?”
“I don’t know.” She shakes her head. “Does it

really matter, she has a date.”

I lean against the counter as my stomach turns. I

must not know Mike, because I’ve made it clear to

everyone that Bre is off limits anytime anyone even
mentions her name. She may not be mine, but she’s
still mine as far as I’m concerned. “Fuck.” I jerk
my fingers through my hair.

“Seriously, language.” Mom tosses a wash rag at

me, and I catch it against my chest. “What are you
going to do?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do. I’m not

going to wait around for her to be taken from me
again.” I watch her pull in a breath as relief fills her
eyes.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

YOU’D  THINK  A  BIRTHDAY  party  for  a  four-
year-old  would  be  an  uncomplicated  event.
Unfortunately,  that  is  not  the  case.  I  should  say
that’s not the case when you’re trying to set up for
a  party  while  attempting  to  rein  in  said  four-year-
old,  who  has  eaten  her  weight  in  icing  and  is  now
bouncing  off  the  walls.  I  probably  shouldn’t  have
let  her  eat  the  icing  from  the  container  while  we
were  making  her  cake,  but  there  was  no  way  I
could say no to her.

“Ly, baby, please stop spinning before you make

yourself sick,” I say, watching her giggle as she
spins in circles, turning herself into a mummy with
the bright pink streamer tape she stole off the table
five minutes ago.

“Okay, Mommy.” She falls in a heap on the

ground, her arms and legs spreading out wide like a
starfish.

Laughing under my breath, I grab another

balloon  and  blow  it  up,  looking  toward  the  hall
when someone rings the bell. I glance at Ly, who’s
now  making  snow  angels  on  the  carpet,  and  smile
when  she  starts  singing  one  of  the  songs  from  the
Disney  movie  Frozen.  “Be  right  back,”  I  tell  her,
heading for the door. When I open it, I’m surprised
to  see  Denver  here  so  early,  and  even  more
surprised by the pissed off look in his eyes. Denver
has  always  been  even  tempered,  so  if  he’s  pissed,
something big must have happened. “Is everything
okay?”

“You have a date?”
It takes a second for his question to register, and

when  it  does,  my  stomach  drops.  I  asked  Shel  this
morning  if  she  could  watch  Lyra  next  Friday;  I
never  even  thought  about  her  telling  anyone  else
about my plans. “I—”

Before I can get another word out, he’s in my

space. His hand is wrapped around the back of
neck, and his mouth is on mine. I’m so stunned by
his aggressive maneuver that I completely freeze
from head to toe.

“Kiss me,” he demands against my mouth while

looking into my eyes, and I lick my lips in
nervousness, which means I lick his. “Fuck.” His
mouth closes over mine, and I gasp when his teeth
nip my bottom lip hard enough to sting. “Open.”

I shake my head, move my hands to his chest,

and  start  to  push  him  away.  Instead,  I  end  up
clinging  to  him,  digging  my  fingers  into  his  shirt
when his free hand curves around my ribcage, right
under  my  breast,  and  his  thumb  sweeps  across  my
nipple.  Sensations  I’ve  never  experienced  before
wash  through  me,  and  an  “Oh,  God”  leaves  my
mouth  on  a  whimper  of  need.  His  tongue  sweeps
between  my  parted  lips  and  my  eyes  slide  closed.
He  taste  good,  like  the  ocean  and  sunshine  mixed
with mint and cherries.

I kiss him back, my tongue toying with his as my

fingers  dig  into  the  muscles  of  his  chest,  trying  to
pull  him  as  close  as  possible.  I  was  right  all  those
years ago, when I thought one kiss from him would
change  my  world,  because  with  his  mouth  and
hands on me, nothing outside of us and this moment
exists.

“Mommy.” Like a bucket of cold water dumped

over my head, Lyra’s distant voice pulls me back to
reality, and I drag my mouth from his and shove at
his chest to get away.

“Bre.” He reaches out for me when I finally get

free,  and  I  stumble  back,  hitting  the  wall  behind
me.  I  cover  my  mouth  with  my  hand  as  I  lift  my
head, and when our gazes connect, I shake my head
and  hold  out  my  hand  to  ward  him  off.  “Bre.”  He
prowls toward me.

He stops suddenly, jerking his head to the left

when Ly excitedly shouts, “Denver!” My lungs

burn  as  he  picks  her  up  with  ease  and  holds  her
against his chest. His eyes bore into mine over her
shoulder  and  I  look  away,  my  heart  beating  like
crazy and my chest heaving as I try to pull oxygen
into my lungs. “Did you come to help us decorate?”
Ly questions with a happy smile as she holds on to
his  face  with  both  her  hands  so  she’s  sure  to  have
his full attention.

“Yeah, but I need to talk to your mom. Can you

give us a second and wait for us in the kitchen?”

Panic fills me when she nods and he kisses her

forehead then puts her down. I want to go with her
when she runs off, but I can’t. I need to be an adult
and deal with this head-on. I don’t know why he
kissed me or what the hell came over me that made
me kiss him back, but this can’t happen. My eyes
slide closed while my throat tightens with tears, but
then spring back open when I feel his fingers wrap
around my lower jaw.

“Please step back,” I beg, looking into his

beautiful  eyes  up  close.  How  am  I  going  to  deal
with  being  around  him  now  that  I  know  what  he
taste  like,  what  his  hands  feel  like  on  me?  Never,
never  have  I  felt  what  I’m  feeling  right  now.  I
didn’t even know it was possible to experience this
amount  of  arousal.  My  body  is  coiled  tight,  like  at
any moment I might come right out of my skin.

“You’re not going on a date with Mike.”
Wait, what?

“What?” I whisper.
His face comes closer to mine. “You are not

going on a date.”

I watch his jaw clench up close and my stomach

muscles bunch in response. “Den—”

“No.” He shakes his head, crowding my space

until  I’m  pressed  against  the  wall  and  he’s  firmly
molded  against  me,  with  one  hand  on  my  hip  and
the  other  on  the  wall  above  my  shoulder.  “You’re
mine,  Bre,  and  I  don’t  care  what  I  have  to  do  to
prove  it.  But  I  will  prove  it  to  you  one  way  or
another.”

Swallowing hard, I shake my head in denial.

“Denver, we can’t do this.”

“Oh yes we can, and yes we are. I’ve been

waiting, Bre, waiting for-fucking-ever for you to be
ready. I’m done waiting.” His softly spoken words
slam into me, scaring me to death.

“Please step back.” My voice and body shake in

tandem.

“For now.” His warm breath brushes against my

lips. “For right now, I’ll give you space, but only
until Lyra goes to bed tonight. When that happens,
you and I are going to have a long-overdue
conversation about what we are to each other.”

“Okay,” I agree instantly, knowing I’m literally

stuck between a wall and a hard place and there is
no other way for me to get away from him but to
agree. I shimmy out of his grasp and duck under his

arm. I don’t look at him again. I leave him standing
near the door and rush to the kitchen. When I see
Ly at the island with her fingers in the icing on the
cake, I give her a shaky smile.

“Ly, no one is going to want to eat the cake if it

doesn’t  have  any  icing  left  on  it.”  I  get  close,
kissing  the  side  of  her  head  as  I  grab  her  hand.  I
pick  her  up,  take  her  to  the  sink,  and  then  set  her
on the counter.

“But it’s so yummy.” She licks her fingers as I

turn on the water.

“It is yummy.” Denver’s deep voice makes me

jump, and I look to find him licking icing off his
own fingers.

Oh, God. My stomach and core clench at the

same  time  while  my  nipples  harden.  “No  more
icing,”  I  squeak,  and  he  smirks  like  he  knows  just
what  kind  of  effect  he’s  having  on  me.  What  the
hell is happening?

“So where are we with the decorating?”
“You don’t have to help.” I shut off the water

and dry Ly’s hands before setting her on her feet.
“I’m sure you have more important stuff to do right
now.”

“Nothing’s more important to me then you and

Lyra.”

“Did you suffer a concussion today?” I ask

seriously, wondering what the hell has come over
him. First, the kiss, and now that comment. I know

Lyra means the world to him, that’s never been a
secret. But he’s never, ever made a pass at me,
definitely never kissed me, and he sure as heck has
never talked to me the way he did moments ago.

“What’s a concussion?” Ly asks.
I look down at my beautiful baby girl. “It’s when

someone bumps their head, baby.”

“Oh.” She looks worriedly at Denver. “Are you

okay?”

“I didn’t bump my head, gorgeous, but I did get

a reality check this afternoon.”

Her worried look becomes a frown. “What’s a

reality check?”

“It’s just a saying, honey,” I chime in, ready for

this to be done and over with. “Why don’t we get
back to decorating? We still have a lot to do before
people start showing up.”

“Okay.” She shrugs and skips away from me,

heading for the doorway that leads to the dining
room. I follow behind her, ignoring the fact that I
can feel Denver coming with us.

“So did you see any bears when you went out

today?”  I  hear  him  ask,  as  I  pick  up  the  streamer
tape  Ly  was  playing  with  earlier.  I  listen  to  Ly  tell
him  about  the  black  bear  we  saw  in  a  tree  on  the
way  to  the  river  and  the  grizzly  we  saw  catching
salmon.  When  she  tells  him  about  our  plans  to  go
sledding  tomorrow,  I  cringe  when  she  invites  him
along  and  he  agrees  to  come.  I  want  to  chime  in

and say he’s not invited, but I keep my mouth shut.
Ly loves Denver, and he loves her too, so as much
as it’s going to suck being around him after what
just happened, I can’t just kick him out of her life.
Which means I can’t kick him out of mine either.

For the next hour and a half, I try to ignore

Denver’s  presence,  which  isn’t  easy.  He’s
constantly  standing  too  close,  offering  to  help  me
hang  the  streamers  and  balloons.  At  one  point,  he
even followed me into the kitchen and pressed into
my  back,  one  hand  on  my  hip,  before  he  reached
up over my head to grab the bowls I was trying to
grab  out  of  one  of  the  high  cupboards.  Ly
thankfully  hasn’t  seemed  to  notice  him  acting
differently,  but  I  notice,  and  my  body,  which  has
not cooled one degree, notices for sure.

When the doorbell rings at four thirty, I almost

jump for joy, because I know it’s my dad, Shel, and
my baby sister Penelope here with the pizzas.
Having them around will be the distraction I so
desperately need.

“Hey, guys.” I smile at them when I open the

door, and my dad eyes me with a look that has me
squirming. Can he tell I’ve been kissed? I press my
fingers to my lips, wondering if they are swollen or
if it’s obvious to him what happened earlier.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Shel greets me with a smile and

a kiss to my cheek. “What do you need me to help
with?”

“We just need to get the food out. We got

everything else set up,” I tell her as I let her go.

“Really?” Her eyes go over my shoulder, and I

see them fill with something I don’t quite
understand. “Hey, Denver.”

“Hey, Shel.” I catch his smile as Ly squirms to be

put down.

As soon as her feet touch the floor, she rushes to

Shel and giggles “Grandma” when Shel picks her
up and spins her around and around in circles.

When I feel my sister wrap her arms around my

waist, I tip my head down to look at her, but she’s
gone before I can even give her a greeting, chasing
after her niece who she adores.

“Baby girl,” Dad calls, and I look at him.

“What’s going on? Why do you look freaked?”

“Nothing’s going on.” His eyes narrow. “It’s just

been a busy day,” I add, hoping my answer will
soothe him enough that he won’t ask more
questions.

“You sure?”
“Yep,” I chirp, and his eyes narrow further. “Do

you want to set those down in the dining room?” I
nod at the pizza boxes.

He doesn’t answer or stop studying me. My dad

knows me too well. We’ve always been close, and
we only became closer when he and my mom split
and after I lost Gabe.

“Did your mom call?”

At his question, my insides tighten painfully. My

mother isn’t a part of my life unless it’s convenient
for  her  or  unless  she  needs  a  place  to  stay  when
she’s  in  town.  Our  relationship  was  rocky  when  I
was  in  school.  I  didn’t  like  the  man  she’d  been
dating,  and  that  only  made  things  more  turbulent.
Our relationship improved a little after she broke up
with the guy, but it wasn’t great. Things got a little
better  around  the  time  I  married  Gabe.  She  was
around  a  little  more,  but  never  a  steady  fixture,
never  dependable.  When  I  lost  Gabe,  things
between  us  went  downhill  quickly.  I  really  needed
her  then,  really  needed  her  to  step  up  and  be  my
mom,  especially  after  I  found  out  I  was  pregnant,
but  she  never  did.  In  fact  I  haven’t  seen  her  in
years.

I won’t say I hate her, because I don’t. I just

don’t like the person she is. I don’t understand her
at all, especially now that I’m a mother myself. If it
weren’t for Shel, I don’t know that I would fully
understand what a mother’s love is. She’s been a
constant in my life; she’s always here for me when
I need her, and even when I don’t.

“No, she hasn’t called,” I say when I feel his

eyes on me, waiting for my response.

“Fuck.” His jaw gets tight and I rest my hand on

his arm.

“It’s okay.”
“It’s not, it’s her goddamn granddaughter’s

birthday.”

“You’re right it’s not okay, but it is what it is.”
“Let me take those,” Denver says, appearing at

my side, and I watch him take the pizza boxes from
Dad and walk away without another word.

“Hear you got a date next Friday,” Dad remarks,

watching  Denver  disappear.  Seriously,  Shel  has  a
big  mouth,  and  I  know  it  was  her  who  spilled  the
beans  since  she’s  the  only  one  I  told  about  Mike
asking  me  out.  I  shrug,  not  wanting  to  confirm  or
deny.  “Also  see  Denver’s  here.”  My  eyes  widen.
“Good  to  see  that  boy’s  finally  pulling  his  head
outta his ass.”

“Dad!”
“You two have been dancing around each other

for years. I don’t know what’s going to happen
between you, but if in the end you find happiness,
I’ll be good with that.”

“Nothing is going to happen,” I sputter. I can’t

believe what I’m hearing.

“Everything okay?” Shel asks, sliding under

Dad’s arm.

“Fine. Everything is fine.” I shove my fingers

through my hair. Did I somehow wake up in an
alternate universe this morning without knowing it?
“I need to go make sure Ly hasn’t eaten all the
icing off the cake.” I start to leave but turn to look
at Shel when her words bring me to a halt.

“Lyra asked to stay with us tonight. I told her it

was fine. I hope that’s okay.”

Great, now I won’t have an excuse to avoid

Denver by keeping Ly up all night with the
temptation of movies and popcorn.

“It’s fine,” I sigh.
“If they’re watching Lyra, me and you can go

into town to have a drink,” Denver says, making
me jump, and my head flies around to face him so
fast I get dizzy.

“Oh, that’s a great idea,” Shel agrees happily,

and I fight the urge to stomp my foot like Ly does
when she’s not getting her way. “You never go out.
It would be good for you.”

I can’t believe I thought my family would be a

distraction, a buffer between Denver and me. It
seems they are now only adding to my current
problem.

“I…” Crap, I press my lips together, trying to

come  up  with  a  quick,  realistic  excuse  for  why  I
can’t  go,  but  I  don’t  have  one.  Ly  won’t  be  home
and I don’t have work tomorrow. “Fine,” I grit out,
and  Denver  smiles.  I  want  to  wipe  the  stupid,
attractive smile off his stupid, handsome face, but I
don’t… even when my fingers itch to do it.

“Mommy, can I open my present from Grandma

and Grandpa?” Ly asks, and I turn to find her with
a gift bag that’s almost as big as she is. I didn’t
notice the bag earlier, but Shel must have had it
when she came in.

“If they don’t mind.”
“Can I please?” She jumps up and down, giving

her grandparents a pleading look.

“Go for it,” Dad says, walking toward her, and

she squeals, dropping the bag to the ground and
tossing the tissue paper out with a flourish.

“Thank you.” She dances around happily when

she sees she now has a new dollhouse and two new
babies to play with. I clean up the paper and boxes
then settle her in the living room with her new toys.
Pen stays with her, promising to keep an eye on her
while I finish putting food and drinks out.

With Shel, Dad, and Denver’s help, we finish just

as  everyone  starts  to  show  up.  And  after  that,  I’m
so busy I don’t have time to dwell on the fact that
Denver wants to talk about me belonging to him. Or
the fact that I’m going to the bar with him tonight,
which  kinda  means  we’re  going  on  a  date.  Not  to
mention  I’m  supposed  to  have  a  date  with  Mike
next week.

When the hell did my life get so complicated?
Just when I’m about to go get the cake from the

kitchen  at  five  thirty,  I  hear  the  doorbell  chime.  I
start toward it, but stop when Shel waves me off to
answer  it  herself.  When  I  see  her  walk  back  into
the dining room with two people trailing behind her
a  few  seconds  later,  my  stomach  turns.  Gabe’s
parents  are  not  my  favorite  people,  but  they  are
Ly’s  grandparents,  and  another  link  to  the  father

she will never really know. So as hard as it is for me
to be around them, I really do try to put my feelings
about them aside for Ly’s sake.

“Hi, Pauline.” I give Gabe’s mom a smile and

then look at her husband, keeping my expression in
place. “Jack, I’m so glad you could both make it.”

I don’t hug either of them. I learned early on that

they are not the kind of people to show affection, a
trait  Gabe  unfortunately  shared  with  them.  Gabe
was not the kind of guy to kiss me for no reason. I
can  count  on  both  my  hands  the  number  of  times
we  even  held  hands.  I  didn’t  mind  it  too  much,
because I knew he loved me; he showed me he did
every  single  day  he  was  alive  in  other  ways.  I  still
wonder how he would have been with Ly. I wonder
if  he  would  have  changed  for  her,  because  she  is
affectionate. She’s always been the kind of kid who
has no problem giving out hugs or kisses to any and
everyone  she  loves—though  I  can’t  recall  ever
seeing her hug either of Gabe’s parents. Then again,
they don’t exactly give off hugging vibes.

“Aubrey,” Jack says in a dismissive sort of way,

as his eyes sweep the room filled with friends and
family.

“Where’s Lyra?” Pauline asks, looking around as

well.

“My sister took her up to her room to help

change into the birthday dress Joe brought. She
should be back down in just a couple of minutes,” I

reply, then add, “There’s lots off food. Please make
yourselves at home.”

They don’t respond to my statement. They also

don’t grab plates for food. Instead, they walk to
one of the empty corners in the room away from
everyone else and lean against the wall.

I know I won’t be able to do anything to make

them feel welcome, so I leave them and everyone
else in the dining room and head to the kitchen.
Once I’m done placing the candles in the top of the
cake, I pick it up and grab a book of matches, along
with Ly’s birthday gifts from me.

Before I make it to the kitchen doorway, Denver

comes  into  view  and  I  instantly  go  on  alert.  “Let
me help with that.” He takes the cake from me, and
without  another  word,  he  walks  toward  the  dining
room. I light the candles when I hear Pen shout out
that  she  and  Ly  are  coming  down,  and  Shel  turns
out the lights. As soon as Ly arrives in the doorway,
wearing  a  pink  T-shirt  with  her  name  in  glittery
writing  and  a  poufy  skirt,  we  all  sing  “Happy
Birthday”  to  her,  which  makes  her  face  light  up
with glee. Tears start to burn the back of my throat,
and I fight to keep them at bay. It’s times like these
I miss Gabe the most. Holidays have become easier
over the years, but it’s hard to think about what Ly
is  missing  out  on  with  her  dad  not  being  here  to
celebrate with us. When the song comes to an end,
Ly blows out the candles then sticks her fingers in

the cake, taking a swipe of icing and making us all
laugh when she shoves her fingers in her mouth.
She smiles from ear to ear.

“Can I open my gifts now?” Ly asks, bouncing

on her toes while eyeing the stack of presents
against the wall.

“Sure, honey.” I kiss the side of her head before

she  gets  down  to  open  her  gifts  then  take  my
camera from Shel so I can get some pictures of her.
When  she’s  done  opening  presents  and  thanking
everyone,  people  start  to  take  off  and  I  begin  to
clean  up.  As  I’m  gathering  up  empty  plates  and
cups, Pauline comes into the dining room and starts
to help—something that shocks me. Then she opens
her mouth, and I know she’s trying to be helpful to
soften me up.

“We’d really like to take Lyra to Nevada for a

couple weeks this summer,” she says, and my lungs
start to feel funny. “My mother is ill and I’m afraid
that if she doesn’t meet her great-grandma now,
then she never will.”

“I don’t know.” I shake my head. I don’t like the

idea of being away from my baby for a night, much
less a week. Since she was born, she’s rarely been
gone overnight, and even then, she is just right next
door at my parents’ place.

“She should get to know her dad’s family. Gabe

would have wanted her to spend time with his
grandparents, would have wanted her to meet his

family.”

As guilt starts to settle in the pit of my stomach, I

wonder if he would have wanted that. He never
really spoke about his family outside of his parents,
and I wouldn’t even say he and his parents were
close. They had a strange relationship, one I never
really understood.

“I need to think about it.” I don’t really need to

think about it, but I don’t want to have this
conversation right now, not with people around,
and not when I feel put on the spot.

“We are her family too, Aubrey. Even with Gabe

gone, we are still her family.” Her words make my
stomach hurt.

“I know, Pauline, and like I said, I’ll think about

it. I just don’t know. She’s still young, and we have
never been apart for more than a night over the last
four years,” I say quietly.

“Did you ask her?” Jack questions, coming into

the dining room right then, and I look at him.

“I did. She’s going to think about it.”
“Good.” He gives me a nod of approval. “Let’s

tell Lyra bye and head out.”

“Sure.” She hands me the stack of paper cups

she’s picked up. “Let me know what you decide. I
plan on booking our tickets in the next few weeks,
so if you could let us know sooner than later, I’d
appreciate it.”

“I’ll let you know,” I agree, and she nods then

leaves  with  her  husband.  I  move  to  the  hall  and
watch them say goodbye to Ly, feeling my stomach
twist  when  she  holds  herself  back  from  hugging
them  like  she  did  everyone  one  else  who  came  to
celebrate her birthday.

“What was that about?” Shel asks, coming my

way when they are gone and the door is closed
behind them.

“They want to take Ly to visit their family in

Nevada for a couple weeks this summer.”

“They want to take her for a week? They

haven’t even had her overnight.”

“I know.” I let out a sigh.
“What did you tell them?”
“That I’d think about it. I don’t want to let her

go, but I feel so guilty. I don’t want to keep Ly from
Gabe’s family. I don’t want her to hate me in a few
years because I didn’t allow her to get to know
them.”

“Honey, you don’t have to do anything you’re

not comfortable with. Lyra is young; she’s still a
baby as far as I’m concerned. She should be here
with you.”

I nod in agreement. “The bad thing is I have time

to break the news to them. I just hope when I tell
them no they are understanding.”

“You know your dad and I are here. We can go

with you if you want. Maybe we can help explain
why right now isn’t the time for that kind of

separation.”

“Thanks, Shel.”
“Anytime.” She gives me a hug. “I’m going to

get Ly’s bag and take her over to the house. Have
fun tonight with Denver.”

“Shel….” I let the warning hang in the air

between us.

Her eyes soften and she reaches out to me,

resting her hand against my cheek. “Just have fun.”

“Sure,” I mumble, and she drops her hand away,

giving me a smile. I say goodbye to Denver’s mom,
Joe, along with his family and mine. Once everyone
is gone, I go to the kitchen, where I come up with
another excuse as to why I can’t go out tonight. I
just hope it works.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

“HOW LONG DO YOU NEED to get ready to go
out?”

At my question, Bre looks up from the counter

that  she’s  been  wiping  down  for  the  last  fifteen
minutes. A counter that was already clean, because
Shel  and  my  mom  spent  time  cleaning  up  the
kitchen after everyone else left. They just took off
themselves,  all  of  them  going  next  door  to  Bre’s
mom and dad’s to watch a movie.

“I don’t really feel up to going out. I have a

headache.”

“Did you take something?”
She licks her lips. “Um… I didn’t. It’s not that

bad.” She turns her back to me and starts to wipe
down the sink. “You can go. I’m probably gonna
just take a shower and head to bed.”

“You’re full of shit,” I state, and she turns her

head to look at me over her shoulder.

“Pardon?”
“You don’t have a headache. You’re just using

that as an excuse to avoid me once again.”

“I’m not,” she lies, and I know she’s lying,

because every time she does, her head tips a little
to the right. She’s always done that, ever since I
can remember.

“You are.”
“Okay, so maybe I just don’t want to go out.”
“That’s fine.” I shrug, and relief fills her eyes. “I

don’t mind staying in. We can talk here.”

“Thirty minutes.”
“What?”
She tosses the sponge in her hand into the sink

then skirts past me, doing it quickly. Pausing in the
hall, she glances at me over her shoulder. “I’ll be
ready to go in thirty minutes.”

“Right.” I grin, and she huffs out an annoyed

breath before stomping off, which makes me laugh.

While she’s doing whatever women do to get

ready to go out, I go to the living room and look out
the front window, my mind wandering to the party.

Everyone who was invited showed, and Bre was

having a good time… until Gabe’s parents arrived. I
know  that  since  Gabe’s  passing,  Bre  has  made  an
effort to include them in Lyra’s life. They’re always
invited to holidays and birthdays, though they don’t
always  show  up,  which  is  probably  a  good  thing.
Bre  shut  down  the  moment  they  arrived  here.  No,

she didn’t lose her smile, but I could see it in her
eyes that she was uncomfortable.

Then again, they made everyone uncomfortable.

They  didn’t  chat  or  even  try  to  join  in  on  the
conversations  going  on  around  them.  They  just
huddled together in the corner of the room, talking
amongst  themselves.  The  only  person  they
interacted with was Lyra, and that didn’t last long,
because she wanted to play with her toys and spend
time  with  her  friends  who  came  to  celebrate  her
birthday.  I  can’t  say  I’m  surprised  by  their
behavior. Since they moved to town years ago, they
have  kept  to  themselves.  No  one  really  knows
much  about  them,  and  they  have  never  attempted
to change that.

“Ready.” Bre’s voice brings me back to the

moment and I turn to face her, feeling my mouth go
dry. Her long, dark blonde hair is down, framing her
pretty  face.  She’s  wearing  a  little  makeup,  just
enough  to  make  her  eyes  pop  and  her  lips  are
glossy.  Her  top  and  jeans  are  both  formfitting,
showing off her curves, and the high-heel boots on
her  feet  seem  to  make  her  legs  look  long  as  hell.
Jesus, she’s fucking beautiful without even trying.

I sweep my eyes back up her body to meet her

gaze. “You look beautiful.”

“Stop,” she demands, holding her palm up

toward me.

I can’t contain my frown. “Stop what?”

“Stop acting so weird. It’s starting to freak me

out. You’ve never talked to me like you have today.
Not ever. You’ve definitely never kissed me, and
now the compliment? It’s too much.”

“Do you know how many times over the years

I’ve wanted to tell you how beautiful you are? How
many times I wanted to touch you, kiss you, claim
you?”

“Denver.”
“I’m not going to stop, Bre. I’m not going to stop

—even after I get what I want.”

“See? You’re freaking me out again!” she cries,

tossing her arms out.

“What are you so afraid of?” I take a step

toward her.

She takes a step back, shaking her head. “I’m

not afraid of anything.”

“You are. You’ve always been afraid of me. Why

is that?”

“I’m not scared of you. I just…. We just…. I just

don’t understand the game you’re playing. I don’t
know why you’re doing this now. Why you’re
acting like this now.”

“I’m not playing a game. As for why now? I

think I told you earlier. I knew you weren’t ready
before, not for what I wanted. Now, all bets are
off.”

“What you wanted?” she whispers.
“What I want.” I move closer to her and drop

my voice. “I’ve always wanted you.” Our eyes stay
locked as I wrap my hand around her hip. “You’re
the only woman I’ve ever wanted.”

I feel her body tighten under my palm before she

jerks away. “Liar,” she hisses, her eyes filling with
anger. “Keep up with this game if you want, but
don’t lie to me.”

My brows draw together in confusion. “It’s not a

lie.”

“Yes.” She shoves my chest with one hand while

glaring at me. “Yes, it is.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”
At my question, her face pales and her eyes slide

away. “Nothing, let’s just go.”

She starts to move toward the door, but I step in

front of her and block her path. “No. Tell me why
you’re calling me a liar.”

“No.” She doesn’t look at me. “No. Either we

leave now, or I’m not going.”

My jaw clenches. I want to demand she open up

to  me,  but  I  know  that  if  I  push  too  hard,  she’ll
close down and I’ll lose my shot. “Let’s go.” I open
the  front  door,  and  she  steps  out  onto  the  porch
with me, but stops to lock the door. When we make
it  down  the  steps,  I  place  my  hand  at  the  small  of
her  back  and  lead  her  to  the  passenger  side  of  my
truck,  opening  the  door.  Once  she’s  in,  I  head
around to climb in behind the wheel. We don’t talk
as I drive us down to the harbor and park, and she

keeps quiet as I lead her into the bar. I lift my chin
as we pass people I know, but don’t stop to talk to
any of them, even though I can see a million
questions on their faces as we walk by.

“You okay?” I ask Bre once she’s seated at a

four-top table at the back of the bar.

“Yeah.”
I can tell by the set of her shoulders that she’s

uncomfortable. I doubt she’s ever been here or to
any of the other bars in town. Hell, when we were
in high school, I can only ever remember her going
to the one party I invited her to, the party where I
had planned on making my move.

“What do you want to drink? Beer, wine,

something else?” I ask, taking off my coat and
hanging it on my chair.

Her nose scrunches up, making her look

adorable. “Water.”

I smile. “Babe, we’re at a bar, and you don’t

have work tomorrow. It’s okay to have a drink.”

“Beer is gross, and wine isn’t much better. I’d

rather just drink water.”

“What about mixed drinks?”
“I haven’t tried any. I’m not a big drinker.” She

slips off her jacket.

“All right, I’ll order you a water and something

else. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to drink it.”

“Sure.” She shrugs.
“Be right back.” I head for the bar, and Andy, an

old friend and the bartender, lifts his chin, coming
toward me.

“What can I get you?”
“Beer, water, and a Moscow mule if you can

make it.”

“Don’t got those fancy copper cups, but got the

shit to make the drink. You good with that?”

“Yep.”
“Right.” He grabs a beer and hands it over to me

after popping the top. “I see you’re here with
Aubrey.” He nods toward where Bre is sitting while
he grabs a bottle of vodka off the top shelf.

“Yep,” I repeat.
“She looks about ready to bolt,” he observes,

and  I  look  over  to  find  her  eyeing  the  door.  It
makes  me  smile,  but  my  smile  quickly  turns  into  a
frown  as  I  watch  a  guy  approach  her.  My  insides
tighten  with  raw,  ugly  jealousy  when  she  stands  to
greet  him  with  a  hug.  “She’s  pretty.  Always  been
pretty.  It’s  probably  a  good  thing  she  doesn’t  hang
out here. I imagine you’d be busy cock-blocking if
she did.”

“Shut the fuck up.” I listen to him laugh as I grab

the drinks from the counter and head to the table,
where the guy is now laughing at something Bre
said.

The moment I arrive, Bre’s wide eyes come to

me and she swallows. “Here, baby.” I hand her the
drink then look at the guy. I don’t know him, but I

have no doubt he’s the Mike she was supposed to
be going out with next week. “What’s up, man?” I
stick my hand out toward him. “Denver. And you
are?”

“Mike.” He gives my hand a shake while his

eyes bounce between Bre and me.

I want to squeeze his hand until his fingers snap,

but I don’t. I let it drop then wrap my arm around
Bre’s shoulders. We still have a lot of shit to work
out, but I wasn’t lying when I told my mom that
I’m not going to let her be taken from me again.
She’s mine. She might want to deny that fact, but I
won’t stop fighting for her until I finally get what I
want.

“How do you two know each other?” I question

after taking a pull from my beer.

“He comes in for fuel sometimes,” Bre answers,

trying to lean away from me. I don’t let her get far,
and after a moment, she stops trying to pull away,
but her body stays tight.

“You live around here, Mike?”
“No, I live in Yakutat in the summer, Vegas in

the winter,” he mumbles, looking confused as he
watches me toy with a piece of Bre’s hair, wrapping
it and unwrapping it around my finger.

“You like Vegas?”
“It’s nice.” He shifts uncomfortably while

glancing at the door. “I’m gonna head out. Nice
meeting you.” His eyes move to meet Bre’s and

soften. “Call me.”

“Not fucking happening,” I say under my breath

after he gone, and Bre’s head flies around so fast
her hair hits my face.

“Seriously?” she hisses, glaring at me.
“Seriously what?”
“What was that?” she snaps.
“He’s the guy you were going to go out with?”

Her eyes narrow and she leans even farther away.
This time, I let her get out from under my arm, but I
don’t let her get far. I wrap my hand around her
nape and pull her back until we are almost nose-to-
nose. “I think we need to have that talk.”

“No, we don’t, and you can’t tell me who I will

or won’t go out with.”

“Baby, you are so fucking wrong about that. And

the point is moot, since you don’t even want to go
out with him.” I lean back and take a pull from my
beer.

“What are you talking about? I did want to go

out with him. That’s why I agreed to a date when
he asked me out.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, beautiful. You agreed to

go out with him, because he isn’t a threat to the
giant fucking walls you’ve built up around
yourself.”

“You think you know everything, don’t you?”

she asks angrily.

“No, but I do know you. I know you’re not

interested in him, not even a little bit.”

“Whatever.” She looks away knowing I’m right

and picks up her drink, taking a sip.

I fight back a smile when she takes another. “Is it

good?”

“It’s not bad,” she grumbles, and I chuckle.

“Whatever.”

“Look at me, Bre,” I say softly, and I can tell she

doesn’t want to, but her eyes come to me. “Let’s
just try to have some fun. Shel is right; you need a
night out.”

“If you don’t bring up wanting to talk again, I’ll

try to have fun,” she haggles.

I keep my eyes on hers and nod. “I can do that.”
“Okay.” She picks up her drink and takes

another sip while she eyes the pool tables in the
back of the room with curiosity.

“Do you know how to play pool?”
“I used to. I haven’t played in forever.”
“It’s like riding a bike. You’ll remember when

you  start  playing  again.”  I  stand  and  pull  her  up
with  me  then  pick  up  my  beer  and  hand  over  her
drink.  I  drag  her  to  the  back  where  there  are  two
pool  tables,  and  I  set  up  a  game  for  us  at  the  one
that’s not being used. When she breaks and pockets
two  balls,  I’m  not  sure  which  is  hotter—her  ass
when  she’s  bent  over  the  table,  or  the  smug  smile
she gives me when our eyes lock.

I start around the table toward her, wanting to

kiss the smile off her face, but come to a stop when
my name is called from across the room. I turn and
watch  a  friend  of  mine,  Scott,  coming  toward  us
with  a  woman  I  don’t  recognize  from  town  under
his arm. Then again, Scott isn’t a local. Like a lot of
people  in  town  right  now,  he’s  just  here  for  the
season. I met him a few years ago when he worked
on my boat. He’s one of the best mechanics around
and  is  busy  non-stop  during  the  summer  when  he
comes to work.

“How’s it going?” I give his hand a shake, and he

smiles at me before looking down at the woman at
his side.

“My wife is here for a few days, so it’s good.

Babe, this is Denver. Denver, my wife Steph.”

“Nice to meet you.” I lift my chin then reach out

and tag Bre’s hand when I see her trying to scoot
away, probably to go hide out at the table or in the
bathroom. “This is Aubrey. Bre, this is Scott and his
wife Steph. Scott’s the guy who overhauled my
engine last year.”

“Nice to meet you both.” She ducks her head

slightly, and I give her hand a reassuring squeeze
before dropping it so I can wrap my arm around her
shoulders. She doesn’t pull away like I expect her
to. Instead, she tucks her body closely against mine
like she’s using me as a shield.

“You guys mind if we join you for a couple

games?” Scott asks, looking between Bre and me. I

want  to  say  I  do  mind,  but  Bre  needs  this.  She
needs  to  come  out  of  her  shell  and  see  that  the
world around her isn’t as scary as she thinks it is. I
love her shyness; it’s one of the things that drew me
to  her  from  the  beginning.  It  made  me  want  to
protect  her.  It  also  made  me  want  to  show  her  it’s
okay to open up and let her hair down. I know she’s
sweet.  I  also  know  she  can  be  funny  when  she
drops  her  guard;  it  just  takes  her  awhile  to  do  that
with people she doesn’t know. And sadly, her looks
and that shyness tend to throw people off. It makes
those just meeting her think she’s a snob, when that
couldn’t be further from the truth.

“You okay with that?” I ask Bre, dipping my

head down to look at her.

“Yeah, sure.” She smiles, but it doesn’t quiet

touch the nervousness in her gaze.

“Awesome, I’m gonna set us up.” Scott kisses

the side of his wife’s head before letting her go to
move back toward the table.

I give Bre’s shoulder a squeeze to get her

attention, and when she looks up at me, I drop my
voice. “You good here with Steph?”

“Yeah.”
“I’ll be right over there.” I nod to the table, and

she looks in that direction.

“Okay.”
I want to drop my mouth to hers, but instead I

touch my fingers to her chin and slide my thumb

across her bottom lip before I let her go. I move
toward Scott but stick close in case Bre looks like
she might take off.

“I love your boots,” Steph says, and I see Bre

jolt at the compliment.

“Thanks. I really like yours too, and your

jacket,” she replies softly.

“Thanks, I got it in Oregon a few years ago.

Where did you get your boots? I need to get a pair.”

“Anchorage, but it was about five years ago. I

doubt Macy’s still has them,” Bre answers.

“Bummer.” Steph laughs, and Bre joins her.

Hearing that laughter, I know she’s good, so I move
to the other side of the table where Scott is picking
up a pool cue. I gather all the balls again to start up
a new game then turn when Scott speaks softly. “Is
she the Aubrey you’re always talking about? Lyra’s
mom?”

“One and the same.”
“I see why you’ve stuck around these last few

years.” He smirks, and I shrug.

I have stuck around the last few years for her,

but I’ve also stayed because of Lyra. That little girl
holds my heart. Since the moment I held her slight
weight in my arms at the hospital not long after she
was born, I knew I would do everything within my
power to protect her and be there for her. It hasn’t
always been easy, not while seeing the life I want
just out of reach. A life where Bre, Lyra, and I are a

family. The only thing that’s helped me through is
knowing in my gut that, in the end, things will work
out in my favor.

When I hear Bre laugh, I turn to look over my

shoulder. Like she senses me, our gazes collide and
I  smile,  watching  her  cheeks  darken.  Yes,  in  the
end,  I’ll  get  what  I  want,  but  I  will  also  be  giving
Bre  what  she  wants  and  needs  too.  There  has
always been an undeniable connection between us.

My mom always told me that when I found the

girl I’d want to spend my life with, I’d just know. I
knew  that  was  Bre,  even  when  I  was  a  teenager,
and  now  years  later,  I  still  feel  the  same.  That’s
why  I  have  never  been  in  a  serious  relationship
with another woman, because at the end of the day,
no one would ever be her.

I still don’t know why Bre got with Gabe, but

I’ve  heard  my  mom  and  Shel  talking  enough  to
understand  that  Gabe  was  safe  for  her.  He  didn’t
push her to try new things, he wasn’t a threat to the
bubble she built around herself, he didn’t challenge
her,  and  he  didn’t  dare  her  to  explore  her  fears  or
take chances. I’m nothing like Gabe. I don’t get the
point  of  living  if  you’re  not  really  living,  if  you’re
not testing boundaries, exploring, and taking risks. I
have always lived life on my terms.

“What was the name of the drink you got me?” I

look at Bre when she asks that simple question and
notice the glass she’s holding is now empty.

“So you liked it?”
“I drank it.” She shrugs.
“You liked it.” I smirk.
“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes.
“It was a Moscow mule.”
“Oh! I want one of those.” Steph wraps her arm

through Bre’s. “Or maybe I’ll get a lemon drop if
they have the stuff to make one.”

“What’s a lemon drop taste like?” Bre asks her.
“Oh, honey, you’re going to have to experience

it for yourself,” Steph says, starting to lead Bre
toward the bar.

“Andy!” I shout, and he turns his attention

toward me, lifting his chin. “Start a tab.”

“Got it, man,” he calls back, giving both Bre and

Steph his attention when they reach the bar.

_______________

“I  think  I  wove  you,”  Bre  says,  then  her  nose
scrunches  up.  “Wove  you.”  She  shakes  her  head.
“Love  you.”  She  smiles  when  she  gets  the  word
right and rests her head on Steph’s shoulder, closing
her eyes.

“I love you too. You’re my new bestest friend in

the whole world.” Steph rests her head on Bre’s,
closing her eyes with a smile on her face.

I look at Scott and shake my head. Both women

are out of it, totally and completely smashed. I have

never seen Bre drink, so I’m not surprised that two
Moscow mules and three lemon drops knocked her
on her ass. She’s adorable drunk, and I have to say
drinking is one sure way to get her out of her shell.
I have never seen her talk so much.

She’s had random conversations with almost

every person in the bar, and more than once I had
to rescue her when she’d sit at a table and start to
chat. The men sure as hell got a kick out of her. The
women  were  another  story.  Especially  when  she’d
start  talking  to  their  men.  She  didn’t  flirt.  I  don’t
think  she  even  knows  how  to  flirt.  But  just  being
her, she draws attention, and when she’s chatty and
open,  talking  about  random  shit  like  fuel  or  bears,
her  cheeks  pink  and  her  eyes  dancing  with
excitement, she’s gorgeous.

“I think I need to get my wife home before she’s

so far gone I’m forced to carry her out of here over
my shoulder,” Scott says, finishing off his beer
before standing.

Steph opens her eyes and squints up at him. “I’m

not that drunk.”

“Babe, you’re wasted.” He grins at her.
“Am not.” She stands up then stumbles sideways

laughing. “Okay, maybe I’m a little drunk,” she
gives, and then asks, “Can I have piggy back ride to
the hotel?”

“You couldn’t hold on if your life depended on

it.”

“Can too.” She places her hands on her hips. He

shakes his head then turns his back to her, and she
hops on, wrapping herself around him while
cackling.

“See you around, man,” he mumbles to me, and I

nod.

“Bye!” Steph smiles then looks at Bre. “Call me.

We can do lunch one day.”

“I will.” Bre grins, then giggles when Steph

shouts, “Giddy up!” while slapping her husband’s
ass.

“You ready to head home?” I ask.
Bre’s eyes come to me, and I see something in

her eyes that makes me brace myself. “Can I see
your boat?”

“My boat?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been on it and I’ve always

wanted to.”

“It’s late. I think we should get you home, baby,”

I say softly, and she tips her head to the side.

“We could talk.”
“You wouldn’t remember anything we talked

about.”

“I would too.” She crosses her fingers over her

heart.

“All right.” I stand and bring her up with me then

smile when she wraps her arms around me.

“The floor is a little wobbly.”
“Or you’re a little drunk,” I state, tipping my

head down to look at her, and she grins.

“Those mixed drinks were awesome.”
Laughing, I hold her against me as we leave the

bar,  and  then  I  keep  holding  her  as  we  walk  the
short  distance  to  the  harbor  where  my  boat  is
docked.  When  we  get  there,  I  help  her  onto  the
deck  then  stand  back  as  she  looks  around.  “What
did you want to see?”

“Everything,” she responds, turning to face me.
“There isn’t much to it.” I follow her into the

wheelhouse and show her around then take her
downstairs to the main-cabin-slash-kitchen. When
she takes a seat on the bed and kicks off her shoes,
my body tightens. “What are you doing, Aubrey?”

“I just need to rest a minute.” She lies back and

closes her eyes.

I stare at her in disbelief, and then close my eyes

when  she  starts  to  snore  softly.  “Christ.”  I  run  my
fingers  through  my  hair.  Figuring  there  is  nothing
left to do about it, I take off my coat and kick off
my  boots.  She  doesn’t  stir  as  I  take  off  her  jacket,
and  she  still  doesn’t  wake  when  I  climb  into  bed
with her.

Lying on my back, I stare at the ceiling then

tense when she rolls into me and burrows herself
into my side. Liking her weight against me, I wrap
my arms around her and breathe in her scent. I’ve
dreamed of this moment a million times, and it kills
me a little to know that tomorrow she probably

HAPTER

_______________

I WAKE SLOWLY TO THE SMELL of the ocean,
my body rocking softly from side to side. My whole
being  is  cocooned  in  warmth  and  safety.  I  snuggle
deeper into the hardness I’m pressed against, never
wanting this feeling to end. When two arms tighten
around  me,  I  freeze  and  my  brain  registers  I’m
sprawled  out,  mostly  on  top  of  a  very  warm,  very
hard man. And without checking for conformation,
I know the man under me is Denver.

I can’t even blame him for our current situation.

I did this to myself. I willingly climbed into his bed
last night. In my defense, I was drunk when I did it.
But still, that’s no excuse. I should have known
better.

As I open my eyes and start to scoot away from

him,  I  try  with  all  my  might  to  ignore  the  intense
feelings  in  my  chest.  The  ones  that  like  a  little  too
much  that  his  arms  have  become  even  tighter

around me in his sleep, like he doesn’t want to let
me go.

My throat burns and my mind screams this is

wrong. He was right last night; I did agree to go out
with  Mike  because  he’s  safe.  Mike  doesn’t  get
under  my  skin.  He  doesn’t  make  me  question  my
feelings. He doesn’t make me doubt the way I felt
about  Gabe,  or  make  me  wonder  what  my  life
would be like if he were in it. Really, Mike doesn’t
make  me  feel  anything.  Then  again,  I  don’t  really
know him. So what the hell do I know? Maybe with
time, I would feel the same with Mike as I do right
now  while  trying  to  move  away  from  Denver
without waking him up.

When I finally get free from his embrace, I

carefully  climb  off  the  bed  and  look  around,  using
the  dim  light  coming  from  one  of  the  portholes  to
search for my boots. Judging by the sky outside, it’s
still  early,  really  early,  so  if  I’m  lucky,  I  can  get
home and sneak inside before anyone on my block
is awake to catch me.

Once I finally find both my boots, I carry them

with  me  up  the  stairs,  and  then  I  fumble  with  the
stupid handle on the door. It seems to take forever
for  me  to  find  the  latch,  and  I’m  scared  to  death
that Denver is going to wake up at any moment and
catch  me  sneaking  out.  When  the  door  finally
unlocks,  I  breathe  a  sigh  of  relief  and  inhale  a
lungful of salty sea air.

I make my way to the edge of the boat and

almost  fall  into  the  water  when  a  large  sea  lion
barks  from  where  it’s  perched  on  the  edge  of  the
dock,  scaring  me  half  to  death.  I  give  him  a  glare,
and  he  jumps  into  the  harbor,  causing  water  to
splash on me. I realize two things at once. The first
thing—it’s freezing out. And the second—I left my
jacket  behind  in  my  haste  to  get  away.  I  close  my
eyes  and  let  my  head  fall  back  to  my  shoulders.  I
don’t want to go back, but I don’t have much of a
choice, since leaving without my jacket means I’m
leaving without the key in its pocket. If I do that, I
will have no choice but to wake up my dad or Shel,
since the only spare key I have is at their place.

“Guessing you figured out you need to come

back in.”

At Denver’s statement, I turn to face him, and

I’m a little surprised he doesn’t look upset that I
took off without waking him to tell him I was
leaving.

“I—” I start to tell him… I don’t know… that

I’m sorry? That I don’t want to go back in? That
when I woke up this morning, my first thought was
that I never wanted to leave the cocoon of warmth
and safety I felt in his arms?

“Get back inside, Bre.”
“Can’t you just bring me my jacket?” I ask, and

his eyes flare with annoyance as they land on my
feet.

“You don’t even have your goddamn shoes on.”
“Denver,” I start, and then snap my mouth shut

when he closes the distance between us in two long
strides. As soon as he’s in my space, his hands go to
my  hips  and  he  lifts  me  up  off  my  sock-covered
feet  and  tosses  me  over  his  shoulder.  My  breath
leaves  on  a  whoosh,  partly  from  the  impact  of  his
shoulder hitting my stomach, and partly because of
stunned  disbelief.  I’ve  never  been  picked  up  by  a
man  in  my  life,  besides  by  my  dad  when  I  was  a
little girl.

“Put me down.” My request is whispered as my

heart  starts  to  thump  hard  behind  my  ribcage.
When  he  starts  down  the  steps,  I  close  my  eyes.  I
can’t  believe  I  thought  I  could  get  away  without
him realizing I was gone until I was actually gone. I
should’ve known it wouldn’t work. It seems to me
my luck—if I ever even had any at all—has run out
completely.

When he reaches the bottom of the steps he

walks across the small space and tosses me onto the
bed. I bounce twice then he’s on me, and his weight
is crushing me into the mattress. I don’t want to
think about how good it feels to have him on top of
me, how good he smells up close, how my body
seems to react to his nearness without my approval.
I don’t want to think about any of that, but it’s all I
can think about as his hands come up to frame my
face and his eyes lock with mine.

“What are you doing?” My chest heaves and my

pulse thunders so hard I can hear it in my ears.

His face softens, as he says gently, “Time for us

to talk.”

Panic flares hot and heavy through my system,

and I shove at his chest to get away.

Capturing my wrists, he drags them up over my

head and places his face close to mine. “Calm
down.”

“No. Get off me!” I shout, bucking my hips and

trying to dislodge his weight. He doesn’t let up,
doesn’t move an inch, while I use all my strength to
make him move. Breathing heavy, I give up and
close my eyes, trying to block him out the only way
I can.

“Why are you so scared of me, Bre?” he asks

quietly, and tears fill my eyes.

I shake my head, causing hot tears that have

gathered  in  my  eyes  to  fall  down  the  sides  of  my
face and into my hair. I can’t tell him why he scares
me.  I  can’t  tell  him  that  when  I’m  around  him  I
forget about my past with Gabe, that I forget about
the  pain  in  my  chest.  I  can’t  tell  him  I’m  petrified
of  what  I  would  feel  if  I  ever  had  to  go  through
losing him. I can’t ever tell him that I never want to
be  like  my  mother.  That  I’m  terrified  of  getting  so
mixed  up  with  a  man  that  I’d  forget  about
everything else, including Ly, forget about my life,
forget who I am. I know it’s stupid, but I also know

it’s true, because since the moment I met Denver,
he’s had the ability to make me forget about
everything but the feelings he evokes in me.

“Talk to me, baby,” he urges, but I shake my

head as more tears fall. “Are you afraid of me
hurting you physically?”

My eyes snap open and I glare at him. “No,

don’t be ridiculous.”

He smiles, and I realize what I just admitted.

Dammit.

“Okay then what are you afraid of?” he prompts.
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Don’t lie. I know you’re scared. I can see it in

your eyes when you look at me and your guard is
down.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He shakes his head then drops his mouth to my

forehead, resting his lips there. “Are you scared of
falling in love with me?”

I want to laugh and tell him he’s full of himself if

he  thinks  I’d  easily  fall  in  love  with  him,  but  the
truth is, I’ve been in love with him forever. I loved
him  when  I  was  just  a  kid,  loved  him  when  I  was
married  to  another  man,  and  still  love  him  to  this
day.  When  Gabe  died,  I  hated  myself  for  having
those  feelings;  he  didn’t  deserve  that.  He  should
have had all of me, and Denver never should have
crossed my mind, even if it was just me praying he
was happy and okay.

“I know we can be happy, Bre.” He keeps his

lips against my forehead. “I know we can make this
work. We can give each other something beautiful.”

“I had something beautiful,” I say bitterly to

guard my heart against his words, and his body goes
rigid above mine.

He pulls back to look at me, and his voice is soft

when he says, “Baby.”

“I don’t care what you’ve convinced yourself of,

Denver. I’m not interested in what you think is
going to happen between us.”

“Do you feel safe inside those walls you’ve built

around  yourself?  Are  you  happy  there?  Are  you
okay with living your life like you have been? Are
you  okay  with  the  idea  of  one  day  settling  down
with  some  guy  you  don’t  really  give  a  fuck  about,
just because it’s safe, he’s safe?” he questions, and
my insides twist painfully.

“Get off me,” I hiss, his words striking too close

to home.

“No, I want to know. Do you like the idea of

being with someone who doesn’t give enough of a
fuck about you to even try and sort your shit out?”

“Oh, and you’re going to be the one to do that?

Because you… what? Know me so well?”

“Yeah, Bre, I fucking know you. I know you

better than you fucking know yourself. I know you
love me just as much as I love you, and I know that
scares the shit out of you. I also know you’ll do

anything  to  protect  yourself,  even  if  that  means
passing up something you realize is good. I hate to
be  the  one  to  tell  you  this,  baby,  but  life  fucking
sucks  sometimes,  but  either  you  learn  from  it  or
you  don’t.  I  pray  to  fucking  God  I  never  have  to
know what it feels like to lose the person I planned
on  spending  the  rest  of  my  life  with.  But  if  God
forbid  that  ever  did  happen,  I  hope  like  fuck  I’m
strong  enough  to  take  a  chance  on  a  good  thing
when  I  see  it.  I  hope  I’m  able  to  risk  losing  it  all
again for the chance of being happy, even if it’s just
for a little fucking while.”

With those words cutting me open, he lets me go

and knifes off the bed, leaving me feeling cold and
completely  alone.  My  throat  burns  and  my  heart
aches.  I  want  to  take  everything  back.  I  want  to
wrap  my  arms  around  him  and  tell  him  I’m  sorry,
that  he’s  right,  that  you  should  risk  it  all  for  the
chance  of  being  happy,  even  for  a  moment.  But  I
don’t.

I sit up, keeping my eyes averted from him as I

numbly find my shoes and put them on along with
my jacket. I don’t look at him before I head up the
stairs. I can’t. I don’t trust myself with my emotions
running  so  high.  When  I  make  it  to  the  deck  and
step  off  the  boat,  my  heart  is  hurting  so  badly  I
don’t even care there are people around looking at
me  oddly,  that  a  lot  of  them  are  people  who  know
my  family  and  will  surly  call  my  dad  or  Shel  with

questions.

When I make it to the end of the pier, I gasp

when a hand wraps around my bicep. I look up into
Denver’s  blank  eyes,  and  my  heart  cracks  then
splinters  further  when  he  speaks  in  a  voice
completely void of emotion. “I’m taking you home,
and I don’t want to hear one goddamn excuse as to
why  I’m  not.”  I  nod  once  then  follow  him  to  his
truck. Once we’re both buckled in, he drives to my
house,  stopping  in  the  driveway  without  shutting
down the engine. “Tell Ly I won’t be able to make
it  today,  that  something  came  up  and  I  had  to
work.”

My chest aches like a hundred-pound weight has

settled on it, and tears make the back of my throat
burn  as  I  swallow  them  down.  I  keep  my  head
lowered, nod, and then open the door, hopping out
of  the  cab.  When  I  slam  the  door,  I  stand  there
staring  at  my  feet,  willing  myself  to  open  the  door
back up to talk to him. No matter how hard I try to
work  up  the  courage  to  face  my  fears,  I  don’t.  I
don’t,  because  I’m  a  coward.  I  don’t,  because  I
don’t have the strength.

With a deep, shaky breath, I walk around the

back of his truck then head up my steps to let
myself into my house. It’s dark and quiet, and that
only adds to the loneliness I’m already feeling. I
head down the hall to my bedroom, strip out of my
clothes, and then crawl into bed, where I cry until I

can’t cry anymore.

_______________

Standing at the top of the sledding hill, I watch Ly
and Pen climb onto Ly’s bright orange sled and
take off down the muddy snow-covered ground
with a scream. When we pulled up here a little over
an hour ago and I saw the state of the hill, I wanted
to turn around and head home, but I didn’t. I didn’t,
because first, Ly was seriously disappointed Denver
canceled his plans with her, and second, the reason
for Ly’s disappointment was entirely my fault and I
needed to make that up to her.

“Okay, I’ve given you enough time. Talk to me.”
At Shel’s quiet demand, I turn to look at her and

want to kick myself for the worry I see in her eyes.
After  I  cried  this  morning,  I  got  up,  dressed,  and
went  over  to  my  parents’  to  pick  up  Ly.  My  dad
was at work, but Shel was there, and the minute she
saw my face, she knew something happened. When
she  asked  me  about  it,  I  told  her  I’d  explain  later,
and  thankfully  she  let  it  go.  Unfortunately,  later  is
now, and I can tell by the look she’s giving me that
she’s not going to drop it until I talk to her.

“I messed up.” I pull my eyes from hers and look

back down the hill to where Ly and Pen are now
coming back up the muddy trail with the help of my
dad. “Yesterday, Denver showed up at the house

early, because he heard I was going out on a date.”
I see her flinch out of the corner of my eye, and I
pull in a breath then look at her. “It’s okay.” I shake
my head. “He kissed me and told me he was done
waiting for me and that we needed to talk about
us.”

“He did that?” she asks, sounding not in shock

but in awe.

“He… I… God, Shel. I’ve been in love with him

since I can remember, but I don’t want that. I don’t
want to be with him. I can’t be with him.” I pull in a
shuddering breath and fight back the pain in my
chest, the one caused by the lies I’m saying out
loud.

“Why not?”
I close my eyes when I feel them start to fill with

tears. “He makes me forget everything,” I whisper.
“He makes me forget, and I don’t want to.”

“He makes you forget about Gabe.” It’s a

statement not a question, and I hate that she knows
I can so easily forget about the man I promised
myself to.

“Yes, about Gabe, about who I am, about my

promise to not end up like my mom.”

“You’re mom? What do you mean?”
“She forgets I exist every time she has a new

man in her life.”

Realization fills her eyes and her face softens.

“Honey, you’re not your mom, and you’re not

going to forget about Lyra just because you find a
man you care about.”

“You might be right, but then again, what does it

say about me and the way I felt about Gabe that I
forget all the years we had together the moment
I’m around Denver? It makes me feel like I’m
betraying him, like I didn’t love him enough… that
I don’t love him enough still.”

“Bre,” she whispers, and I notice tears

shimmering in her eyes.

“I’m the only connection Ly has to Gabe. If I

forget about him, who will tell her about the kind of
man he was?”

“Gorgeous, you will never forget about him. Not

ever. And you will never let Ly forget him either. I
know  you  loved  him.  Everyone  knows  that.  But
your  life  didn’t  end  when  his  did,  and  you  know
Gabe  would’ve  never  wanted  you  to  be  alone.  He
would  have  wanted  you  to  find  someone  to  share
your  life  with.  He  would  have  wanted  you  to  be
happy.”

She wraps her arms around me, and I rest my

head on her shoulder as a quiet sob climbs up the
back of my throat. Gabe would have wanted me to
be happy. He always wanted me happy.

“I know it’s scary to even think about putting

your heart on the line,” she whispers against my
ear. “But I don’t want you to look back on your life
and have regrets, Aubrey. I don’t want you to look

at your life in a few years and wish you took a
chance. I know what it feels like to live with
regrets, honey. I wish I had been braver. Please, for
your happiness, be brave, honey.”

“Shel,” I whimper as the pain in her voice causes

my  chest  to  hurt.  I  know  she’s  speaking  from
experience.  She  and  my  dad  gave  their  son  up  for
adoption when they were just kids themselves, and
not  long  after  that,  Shel  left  my  dad  behind,
because  she  was  unable  to  deal  with  her  pain.  I
know she regrets leaving, even though without her
leaving,  my  brothers  and  I  probably  wouldn’t  be
here.

“Be brave, beautiful, and I promise—” her arms

tighten around me “—promise you it will be worth
it.”

“Everything okay?” Dad’s deep voice breaks

into the moment, and I quickly stand back from
Shel and wipe the tears from my face as she does
the same with her own cheeks.

“Everything is fine. You know us, honey.

Sometimes us girls just need to have a good cry,”
Shel explains.

I peek up at my dad, who doesn’t look

convinced, and then look down when tiny arms
wrap around my legs. I rest my hand against the top
of Ly’s head. “You okay, Mama?” she asks, tipping
her head back to look at me.

“Yeah, baby.” I pick her up and look into her

eyes  that  are  a  mirror  of  my  own.  “You’re  just
getting to be such a big girl. Sometimes it makes me
sad  to  think  about  it.”  That’s  not  a  complete  lie;  I
do  get  sad  from  time  to  time  when  I  think  about
how  much  she’s  grown  up,  when  I’m  forced  to
think  about  her  becoming  an  adult  and  leaving  me
to start her own life one day.

“You said I’ll always be your baby.”
“You will always be my baby,” I agree, hugging

her. “But you’re still getting big.”

“I want to get bigger,” she tells me, looking

suddenly serious.

“Why’s that?”
“When I’m bigger, I can have cake whenever I

want. Even for breakfast.”

Laughing, I bury my face in her hair and hug her

tightly.

“Can Pen and I go down the hill again?” she

asks, trying to break free from my hold.

I pull back to look at her once I’ve gained

control of myself. “Sure.” I set her to her feet then
I watch her drag her sled behind her to the top of
the hill. As soon as she’s in place, tucked in front of
Pen on the sled, they take off and I listen to their
carefree laughter fill the air.

Smiling at the sound, the heavy weight of an arm

comes to rest around my shoulders and my dad’s
voice fills my ears. “You’re an amazing mom,
Aubrey. Lyra is lucky to have you.”

“Dad.” I lean into him, wrapping my arms

around his waist.

His lips rest against the top of my head as his

quiet words wash over me. “I know it hasn’t been
easy raising her these last few years on your own.
But—”

“I haven’t been on my own,” I cut him off,

looking up at him. “I have you guys and Denv….”
My words tapper off, and I close my eyes when I
realize something I never realized before.

Denver has been with me from the beginning.

We  haven’t  lived  together  or  been  a  couple,  but
he’s  been  there  for  Lyra  and  me  anytime  we’ve
needed  him.  He  stayed  with  Ly  and  me  for  weeks
right  after  she  was  born.  He  watched  her  when  I
needed  a  shower,  fed  her  and  changed  her  so  I
could rest, cooked so I’d eat. And through all that,
he  acted  like  there  was  nowhere  else  he’d  rather
be.  He’s  stayed  over  each  Christmas,  helping  me
put  together  any  toys  that  needed  setting  up,  and
slept  on  the  couch  so  he  could  be  there  to  see  Ly
first  thing  in  the  morning  when  she  came  down  to
open  her  gifts.  He’s  been  to  every  holiday  and
every birthday, even mine, and has always made a
big  deal  out  of  celebrating  me  when  I  haven’t
wanted to.

“God,” I whisper, feeling my throat tighten as

thousands of memories fill my mind. He’s always
been here for us and for me. How did I never see

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

I STARE AT MY CELL PHONE and the message I
just  got  back  from  Mike.  I  sigh  before  tossing  it
down on the coffee table next to my cup of herbal
tea.  It’s  done.  My  date  with  him  is  canceled,  and
from  his  return  message  of  I  figured  this  was
coming, I  should  feel  relieved  he’s  not  mad,  but  I
don’t, because I should never have agreed to go out
with him in the first place.

I lean back and close my eyes, willing the

headache  building  at  the  back  of  my  skull  to  go
away, and then sit forward, rubbing my hands down
my face. I’m tired, really tired, and I just hope I’ll
be  able  to  fall  asleep  tonight.  With  another  long
sigh,  I  stand  up  off  the  couch,  pick  up  my  half
empty  mug  along  with  my  phone,  and  take  both
with me to the kitchen. After dumping the contents
of  my  cup  into  the  sink  and  placing  it  in  there,  I
head  to  my  bedroom,  shutting  off  lights  along  the

way.

I turn on the overhead light in my room then

walk  to  my  bed,  setting  down  my  cell  before
flipping on the switch to my new metal lamp with a
robin’s egg blue shade. I replaced everything in my
bedroom a few months ago when I realize I wasn’t
doing  myself  any  favors  by  keeping  things  as  they
were.  Every  time  I  was  in  here  after  Gabe  died,  it
felt like he’d come walking out of the bathroom at
any  moment,  or  come  join  me  in  bed  while  I  was
reading.  Unlike  the  rest  of  the  house  that  had
changed after Ly was born, everything in here was
connected  to  Gabe  in  some  way,  since  we
purchased  everything  after  we  got  married  then
collected things over the years.

Shel was the one who finally convinced me it

was  okay  to  let  go,  and  I’m  so  glad  she  did.  The
walls that were once a deep blue are now a cream
color that looks great with the new lighter furniture.
I got rid of the white duvet we had and chose floral
bedding that has blues, pinks, greens, and yellows. I
replaced  our  dark  wood  bed  with  a  lighter  wood
that  has  a  high  fabric  headboard  and  metal
grommets  nailed  along  the  edge.  The  side  tables
match  the  bed,  with  the  same  color  metal  as  the
grommets on the handles.

I only have one picture on the wall, and it’s one

of Ly’s newborn photo in sepia with a white frame.
That photo is hung above my dresser, which is

catty-corner  to  the  sliding  door  that  leads  to  the
back deck. I spent way too much money on luxury
blinds  to  cover  the  doors,  but  they  look  amazing
and  were  worth  every  penny,  especially  in  the
summer, when it’s light most of the time.

I walk back across the room, turn out the

overhead  light,  and  then  grab  a  T-shirt  from  my
dresser,  thinking  about  Denver  as  I  change.  I  need
to  apologize  to  him  for  the  way  I  acted.  I  don’t
know if I’m ready for what he wants, but I know I
need  him  in  my  life,  and  Ly  needs  him  in  hers.
Once  I’m  sitting  cross-legged  in  the  middle  of  the
bed with the blankets pulled up over my lap, I pick
up  my  cell  and  press  Call  on  Denver’s  number.  It
rings  twice  before  I’m  sent  to  voice  mail,  and  I
hang up without leaving him a message.

Resting my phone in my lap, I close my eyes as

hot  tears  start  to  blur  my  vision.  In  the  four  years
Denver  has  been  back  in  my  life,  he’s  never
ignored my calls, and it kills me a little that he did it
now,  even  though  I  know  I  deserve  it.  Having  no
other  choice,  I  rest  my  cell  on  my  bedside  table,
shut off the lamp, and lie down. I don’t fall asleep
until  the  sun  starts  to  peek  through  the  closed
blinds,  and  then  I  only  sleep  for  about  an  hour
before Ly comes into my room to wake me up.

_______________

Taking  a  large  gulp  from  my  third  cup  of  coffee,  I
watch Ly, who is on her knees in front of the coffee
table, eating a bowl of colorful, sugary cereal while
staring  at  her  iPad.  The  YouTube  channel  she’s
watching is one of her favorites. The guy is a total
goof,  always  dancing  and  running  around  some
kids’  play  center,  checking  out  toys  and  showing
how  things  work.  He  must  be  in  his  early  thirties
and is always dressed the same, with an orange and
blue  hat,  glasses,  suspenders,  and  gray  pants  he
tucks  into  his  shoes  that  are  also  orange  and  blue.
Watching  him,  I  have  to  say,  even  as  old  as  I  am,
I’m captivated by how entertaining he is.

“Mommy.” Ly’s voice pulls my attention to her,

and I brace when I see the look in her eyes.
“Where’s Denver?”

Crap, I should have known that question was

coming. Denver has never canceled on her for any
reason, and I’m guessing if that ever did happen,
he’d call to talk to her or stop by when he was able
to do so.

“Like I told you yesterday, baby, he’s working.”
Her head tips to the side and her eyes study me

for a long time, so long I fight the urge to squirm or
look away from her. “Can I call him?”

“Of course,” I whisper, feeling my throat tighten

with anxiety as I pick up my cell. Once I dial
Denver’s number, I hand her the phone then watch
her face fall when he doesn’t answer. With my nails

digging into my palms, I listen to her leave him a
message telling him she misses him.

“He didn’t answer,” she tells me, handing me

back the phone, and I end the call.

“He’ll call you back.” I hope it’s not a lie. I hope

that, for Ly’s sake, the issues between us don’t seep
over  into  his  relationship  with  her.  I  pull  her  onto
my  lap  and  kiss  the  top  of  her  head.  “How  about
we  get  dressed  and  head  to  the  library  for  story
time?”  I  suggest.  “We  can  also  return  all  your
books  and  check  out  some  new  ones  while  we’re
there.”

“Okay.”
“Okay.” I give her a tight squeeze before placing

her on her feet, murmuring, “Turn off your iPad
and take your bowl to the kitchen, honey.”

With a nod, she does as I asked, and then I take

her upstairs to dress before getting myself ready
while she sits on my bed watching me.

My phone chimes, letting me know I have a

message as I’m buckling Ly in her car seat, so I pull
it out of my back pocket and check the screen.
When I see the message from Denver, my chest
actually aches.

Denver: Tell Lyra I’m working, that I love her,

and I’ll talk to her soon.

I don’t respond to the text. I don’t think he

wants or expects me to. But I do relay his message
to Ly, and when I do, her tiny face scrunches up in

little girl annoyance. “He didn’t call me back.”

“He’s busy, honey,” I say as I tighten the straps

to keep her in place.

“He always calls or comes to see me. He’s never

too busy for me.”

She, of course, has a point, but then again, that

was before her mommy was an idiot. “He’ll call.”

“Promise?”
God, as pissed as I am at myself for acting like I

did, I’m starting to get mad at Denver. If he didn’t
start this mess, Ly wouldn’t be confused and things
would be like they’ve always been.

“Promise.” I kiss her forehead then slam her

door. I climb in behind the wheel of my Suburban
and start the engine. Still feeling pissed, I send
Denver a message without thinking.

Me: This is exactly why I didn’t want to go

there  with  you.  Ly  is  now  seriously  disappointed
and  confused.  I  understand  you’re  pissed  at  me,
but  you  shouldn’t  let  that  affect  things  between
you and her.

After I press Send, I bite my lip, and then my jaw

clenches when I see his immediate reply.

Denver: You don’t want to go there with me,

because you’re a coward. Don’t use Lyra as an
excuse. And I’d never let anything affect my
relationship with her, and you know that shit.

Me: You’re an asshole.
I press Send then wish I didn’t. I don’t want to

fight with him. I don’t want to argue or push him
away anymore than I already have, but that’s
exactly what I’m going to do. Or I think so, until I
see his response.

Denver: An asshole you’re in love with. You

need to come to terms with that, Bre, because like
I said before, you and I are going to find a way to
work this out. By the way, I heard you canceled
your date with Mike. Smart move, baby.

“Oh my God,” I hiss, angrily tossing my phone

into  the  passenger  seat.  I’m  so  furious  I  actually
want  to  scream  at  the  top  of  my  lungs  and  pound
my fist into the dashboard. The only reason I don’t
is because Ly would totally freak out if I did. How
the  hell  does  he  know  I  canceled  my  date  with
Mike?  And  what  the  hell  is  going  on  with  him?  I
thought after he dropped me off and didn’t answer
or return my call that he was done. I shouldn’t feel
relieved  that  he  hasn’t  given  up  on  me,  but  I  do,
and that just makes me even more pissed.

“Mommy, are we going to go?”
I look over my shoulder, plastering a smile on my

face. “Yep.”

I put the truck in reverse, back out of my spot,

and  then  drive  us  to  the  library,  where  we  spend
some  time  listening  to  a  story  then  wandering
around  looking  for  books  to  check  out.  After  we
leave  the  library,  we  stop  by  the  house,  and  I  load
up my canoe and pack us a lunch to eat at the lake.

We spend the rest of the day out on the water
cruising around. When we return home, we watch a
movie, eat some dinner, and after I get Ly
showered and into bed, I go to bed myself.

Two hours later, after tossing and turning, I give

up on sleep and get up. I put on a pair of socks and
grab one of my old sweatshirts, pulling it down over
my  head  as  I  walk  to  the  front  door  with  my  e-
reader and baby monitor. The night is cool but not
freezing,  so  I  curl  up  in  one  of  the  chairs  on  the
front  porch,  tucking  my  legs  under  my  sweatshirt.
Just  as  I’m  starting  to  get  to  the  good  part  in  the
story,  I  feel  a  presence  join  me  on  the  porch,  and
from  the  sudden  awareness  in  my  body,  I  know
who it is without looking.

“Why are you here?” I don’t look up as Denver

takes the seat next to mine and stretches his long
legs out, resting his boot-covered feet on the rail.

“I tried to call Lyra. Your phone went to

voicemail,” he replies. Crap, I forgot to charge my
cell when we got home. It died when we were out
on the lake and I didn’t have my backup charger—
something that was seriously stupid to forget.
“Were you ignoring my calls?”

My head flies up and my eyes narrow. “No.

Unlike you, I’ve never ignored your calls. My
phone died when we were out on the lake. When
we got home, I didn’t remember to charge it.”

Something shifts in his expression as his eyes

scan my face. “I wasn’t ignoring your calls, baby. I
was busy. A friend needed my help getting his boat
back in to port after his engine went out. My cell
doesn’t work out there; only my satellite phone
does.”

“Right.” I shake my head before dropping my

eyes back to my book.

“Are you ready to talk to me?”
My eyes go to his once again. “No.”
“Right.” He smirks, and something about that

expression makes me want to both kiss him and
smack him. I curl my hands into fists, and his eyes
drop to my lap, his smirk turning into a smile like he
knows exactly the contradictory thoughts I’m
having.

“Why are you here?” I repeat.
“I think you know that answer.” He wraps his

hand around my wrist. I drop my gaze and watch as
he forces my hand open to lace his fingers with
mine. “We need to talk.”

“We don’t.”
I try to pull away, but he tugs on my hand,

pulling  me  closer  to  him.  “How  did  you  feel
yesterday  when  I  drove  off?”  At  his  softly  spoken
question,  my  body  freezes,  but  my  blood  starts  to
rush  hard  through  my  veins,  causing  a  swoosh,
swoosh  sound  to  fill  my  ears.  “You  didn’t  like  it.  I
know you didn’t.”

“Let me go.”

“No,” he growls with a shake of my hand, and I

look into his eyes. “You don’t want or need me to
let go. One of us needs to fight for this, Bre, and
until you’re ready to start fighting, that person is
me.”

“Den—”
He cuts me off again as his eyes drop to my

mouth. “Tell me you’ve had a kiss like the one we
shared.  Tell  me  you’ve  had  that  with  someone
else.” I  swallow  as  I  watch  his  lips  move.  If  I  said
that,  it  would  be  a  lie.  Gabe  and  I  never  shared  a
kiss  like  that,  ever.  “I’ve  never  had  that  before,
Bre. I’ve never felt what I feel for you with anyone
else,  and  I  know.”  His  hand  squeezes  mine.  “I
fucking know, down to my fucking gut, that this…
this is worth fighting for. This is worth everything.”

Tears start to fill my eyes, and I as I drop my

head forward to hide them from him, he stops me,
touching his forehead to mine and keeping our eyes
locked.

“I know you’re scared.”
“Stop,” I whisper, closing my eyes and cutting

him out the only way I can. “This is…. This can’t
happen. I care about you, but we can’t do this. Ly
will suffer, and that isn’t fair to her. She lost Gabe.
She never knew him but misses him. Losing you
would devastate her. She’s attached to you, and….”
I was going to say I can’t risk losing him either, but
I’m not ready to be that honest.

“I love her too. I’m not going anywhere, and I

would never let anything jeopardize my relationship
with her.”

“This is too much too fast.” I close my eyes then

open them when I feel his body start to shake.
Seeing he’s laughing, I frown. “Why are you
laughing?”

“You said this is fast.” He laughs harder,

dropping his face to the crook of my neck and
laughing there loudly.

“This is fast. And I still don’t know why you

think that’s funny.”

He pulls his face from my neck and his

expression sobers instantly. “Four years, Bre. Four
fucking years I’ve been waiting for my shot, and
that time does not fucking include the years before
that.” My breath leaves on a whoosh as he releases
my hand and captures my face between his palms.
“This? This is not fast.”

“It is.”
His gaze roams over my face, and then his eyes

stop  to  my  mouth,  my  stomach  muscles  tightening
in  anticipation  as  he  shakes  his  head.  “Not  fast
enough,”  he  mumbles,  right  before  he  pulls  me
forward  and  places  his  lips  against  mine.  Just  like
the  last  time  he  kissed  me,  he  demands  for  me  to
“open.” Unlike the last time, I don’t fight it.

My mouth opens, and when his tongue slides

across mine, I whimper. He still taste like the ocean

and  sunshine,  but  instead  of  cherries  and  mint,  his
taste is mixed with something richer, like chocolate
and coconut. When he pulls back to nip my bottom
lip,  I  nip  him  in  return,  feeling  his  chest  vibrate  as
his  deep  growl  rolls  across  my  tongue.  I  don’t  put
up a fight when he pulls me from my chair and onto
his lap. My body that is already buzzing becomes a
livewire as his hand slides up my outer thigh, over
my  hip  and  the  curve  of  my  waist,  stopping  just
under my breast. I arch into him, wanting to feel his
touch, needing it more than my next breath.

The slide of his thumb across my nipple causes

me to gasp, my core to flood with wet heat, and my
pussy to spasm. I’m so turned on that I roll my hips
into his, and beg “please” against his mouth without
thinking of anything but getting more of his touch.

Without a word, he picks me up and carries me

into  the  house,  his  mouth  never  leaving  mine.
Instead  of  my  bedroom,  he  carries  me  into  the
living  room,  straight  to  the  couch.  As  soon  as  my
back  hits  the  sofa,  his  weight  settles  between  my
legs  and  I  moan,  feeling  his  thickness  through  his
jeans.  His  mouth  leaves  mine  so  he  can  pull  my
sweatshirt off, and as soon as it’s over my head, he
tosses it to the floor then looks down at the old T-
shirt I’m wearing.

“Only you can you make an old-ass tee look

hot,” he says, taking my shirt up as his hands slide
against my oversensitive skin.

My head falls back and my eyes close in

embarrassment. I’m probably the only woman over
the  age  of  twenty-five  who  doesn’t  own  one  sexy
nightie  or  a  cute  pair  of  pajamas.  I  bet  every
woman  he’s  been  with  before  only  ever  wore
lingerie to bed when there was even a possibility he
would be around.

“Look at me, baby,” he demands, as both hands

cup  my  breasts.  My  eyes  fly  open  and  my  back
arches, forcing my breast deeper into his palms. “I
want  you  as  you  are.”  Feeling  my  heart  start  to
pound, I wonder if I said what I was thinking earlier
out  loud.  “I  love  you  just  the  way  you  are,”  he
states, looking into my eyes.

Before I can react to his declaration, his head

dips and his tongue circles one nipple and he pulls it
deep into his mouth, sucking hard. My head arches
back  into  the  couch  while  one  of  his  hands  moves
down  my  stomach  and  under  the  waistband  of  my
shorts.  His  mouth  leaves  my  breast  and  captures
mine  once  more  as  his  fingers  slide  between  my
folds.

“So goddamn wet,” he growls into my mouth,

and  I  moan  into  his  while  he  rolls  his  fingers  over
my clit. When he thrust two fingers deep inside me,
I  gasp  from  the  sudden  fullness.  He  pulls  his  lips
away and rests his forehead against mine. “Tight, so
fucking  tight.  Fuck.”  He  fingers  fuck  into  me
ruthlessly, curving up and hitting just the right spot.

“Keep you’re eyes open and on me.”

I try. I really do. But it’s too much. Him looking

at me, his scent surrounding me, his weight heavy
between my legs, his groans filling my ears. It’s all
too much, way too much. I need to block something
out. My eyes start to slide closed again but then
spring open when he nips my neck hard.

“Open your eyes. Do not take them off mine. I

want  to  know  you  see  me,  that  you  know  it’s  my
hand  between  your  legs.”  His  fingers  still,  as  he
growls,  “I  want  you  to  see  it’s  me  who’s  fingering
you to orgasm.”

His dirty words, his fingers thrusting back into

me harder than before, and his thumb rolling over
my clit sends me over the edge. I come moaning his
name while looking into his eyes. My body spasms,
my muscles bunch, and my breath gets stuck in my
throat as I ride out my orgasm with my eyes locked
with his.

“I knew you’d be beautiful when you came for

me.” His words whisper across my lips, and my
eyes slide closed as he peppers kisses down my jaw.

How the hell did I go from arguing with Denver

on  my  front  porch,  to  having  him  make  me  come
with  his  hands  between  my  legs  on  my  couch—
giving  me  the  best  orgasm  of  my  entire  life?  My
thighs  tighten  as  he  removes  his  fingers  from  my
still  pulsing  core,  and  I  bite  my  lip  to  keep  from
whimpering at the loss. When his fingers graze my

oversensitive clit, my hips buck and my cheeks heat
with  embarrassment.  I  can’t  believe  that  just
happened.  It’s  not  that  I’ve  never  had  an  orgasm
before,  but  I’ve  always  had  to  work  for  every  one
I’ve  gotten.  More  often  than  not,  I  wouldn’t  even
get  there,  because  it  just  took  too  long  for  me  to
relax enough to enjoy sex or foreplay. Even after all
the  years  Gabe  and  I  were  together,  I  was  never
able to loosen up enough to get off without a lot of
work on my part.

“Bre.”
“I… I don’t know what just happened,” I

whisper.

“Look at me, Bre.”
“That’s never happened.” I don’t know if I’m

humiliated or shocked by my body’s response to
him.

“What’s never happened?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head, keeping my eyes

closed.

“Bre, look at me.”
“Get off me.”
“No.”
God, why is he so annoying?
“Look at me,” he growls.
My eyes snap open and narrow on him. “Can

you get off me?” I ask angrily, as panic starts to fill
my chest.

“What’s never happened?”

“Nothing.” I try to sit up, but his heavy weight

still between my legs doesn’t give me much room to
move.

“Talk to me.”
“No,” I retort, trying to get away, but it’s like I’m

a mouse trying to push a boulder up a hill. Totally
and utterly pointless.

“What’s never happened?” he repeats, and my

already hard-beating heart starts to pound out of
control. “What’s never happened?”

“I’ve never come that easily,” I snap. “Are you

happy now?” I shove at his chest and buck my hips,
but he doesn’t move, and it takes me a moment to
register that his body has gone still above mine.
Why did I admit that? I turn my head away and
focus on the wall across the room, too embarrassed
to look at him. “Please move off of me.”

“Bre.”
“Please,” I whisper desperately.
He moves, and I instantly scuttle away from him

and sit back against the couch. Tucking my legs up
against my chest, I wrap my arms around my shins,
resting my forehead to my knees as I wonder what
the hell is wrong with me.

“Baby.” His fingers slide through the hair at the

side of my head. “What you just gave me was
beautiful.” Tears fill my eyes and I shake my head.
“So damn beautiful the way you let go for me.” He
forces my head up with his hand under my chin,

and his eyes search mine for a long moment before
he moves away. I expect him to leave, but instead,
he picks me up and settles me sideways on his lap.
“You gotta know it’s not on you that you couldn’t
get there with him.”

Oh my God. My heart sinks as guilt fills my

stomach and crawls up the back of my throat.

“Stop,” I choke out.
“Baby, it’s okay,” he says soothingly, rubbing my

back.

“I loved him,” I implore quietly, feeling

defensive and needing him to know that my
feelings for Gabe were real.

“That’s not in question,” he assures gently,

running his thumb over my cheek.

“We were happy.”
“I know that too,” he agrees instantly, still

talking gently.

God, why is he being so sweet? Why, when I

need him to leave? “He… he was my first
everything.”

His arms around me tighten, his jaw clenches,

and his eyes flash, before he bites out, “Yeah, but
he’s gone.”

That hurt, but not for the reasons it should have.

It  hurts,  because  I  hurt  him  and  did  it  on  purpose.
Without  another  word,  he  moves  me  off  his  lap.
When  I’m  settled  on  the  couch,  he  stands  then
leans  over  me,  placing  his  fist  in  the  cushions  on

either side of my hips. “I gotta work, so I’m gonna
be gone a couple days.”

Heart sinking, I stare into his eyes, then stutter,

“W-what?”

“I’ll call Lyra tomorrow night before she goes to

bed.”

He leans in, and I think he’s going to place a kiss

to my forehead, but at the last second, he pulls
back. Then he’s gone, and I listen to the door close
behind him. Chin wobbling, tears running down my
cheeks, I stare at the space he just occupied,
wondering why I said the things I did and why the
hell I just let him walk away. Again.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

TAKING A PULL FROM THE BEER in my hand,
I stare at the dark water at the edge of my boat.
Bre’s words from earlier tonight keep whispering
through my mind, reminding me what I am for her.

“Fuck,” I hiss into the night, pissed at myself for

being in love with a woman who is still in love with
another man. Jealousy isn’t something I like feeling,
but that emotion has been living inside me for so
long that I’ve become used to it.

Walking to the wheelhouse, I take a seat in my

chair and sigh. I don’t have anywhere to be; I lied
to Bre about that. I just needed to get away from
her before I said something I might regret. I need a
few days to think about what I should do. Not that
it will really fucking matter. I’m starting to see she’s
never going to be mine, that she will always be his,
and as much as I love her, I know I can’t live with
only having a part of her. I’m selfish. I want it all. I

want all her love, all her heart, all her mind, body,
and soul.

“Maybe it’s time to move the fuck on.” I rub my

hand down my face then close my eyes when her
scent that has seeped into my skin fills my nostrils.
I shouldn’t feel smug that he was never able to give
her what I did on her couch, but fuck if I do. And
since I don’t have much else, I’m taking it.

Hearing a knock behind me, I turn in my chair

toward  the  door  then  frown  when  I  don’t  see
anyone  through  the  small  round  window  that’s
about  five  and  a  half  feet  off  the  ground.  I  stand
and swing the door open then look down. It takes a
moment  for  me  to  realize  what  I’m  seeing—who
I’m  seeing.  Bre  with  her  hair  down,  eyes  and  face
red  from  crying,  wearing  her  hoodie  and  a  pair  of
jeans. And it’s then I notice a small black duffle bag
over her shoulder.

“What are you doing here?”
“I’m coming with you.” At her quietly spoken

statement, my chest tightens. “I… well… I have a
couple days off work, and Shel and my dad are
going to look after Ly for me.”

I stare at her, and she stares back. Then she

looks away, biting her bottom lip.

“Maybe this was stupi—”
I reach out, wrap my arm around her waist, and

pull her against my chest. Hauling her up my body,
I drop my mouth to hers, cutting off whatever it

was she was going to say. I kiss her hard, my hand
holding my beer behind her head to keep her in
place.

I listen to her bag hit the ground then feel her

hands slide up my chest to wrap around my neck. I
don’t know how long we stand under the stars with
our mouths fused together. It might be minutes or
hours; all I know is, just like every time I’m kissing
or touching her, I lose track of everything but the
feel of her in my arms.

I tug my mouth from hers when she gasps for

breath and tuck her face against my bent neck as I
pull in a lungful of oxygen. “I’m sorry, so sorry,”
she tells me, and my eyes close and my arms
tighten around her. “I—” she starts, but her words
end on a sob as her body bucks hard.

I walk backward into the wheelhouse, taking her

with me. I set down my beer then sit, pulling her
onto my lap. Holding her, I rub my hand down her
back as she cries, the sound of her tears killing me.
“Baby, you gotta calm down,” I say against her ear.

She shakes her head then pulls back, looking me

in  the  eye.  “I  hurt  you.  I  did  it  on  purpose.  It  was
mean.  I  was  mean,”  she  cries  loudly  before
dropping  her  face  against  my  chest,  which  has
seized up.

“Bre,” I start, having no clue what the fuck I’m

going to say, just knowing I need to say something,
something that will most likely put an end to this.

To us. Not that there’s really been an us to put an
end to. The more I think about it, the more I know I
can’t be with her—not when she’s still in love with
her dead husband.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was a

teenager.”  At  her  confession,  my  arms  spasm
around  her  before  locking  tight.  “I….  You  were
right.  I  wanted  to  date  Mike,  because  he  doesn’t
scare  me,  doesn’t  make  me  feel  anything.  I  was
with  Gabe,  because  things  with  him  were
always…”  She  shakes  her  head.  “They  were
always easy. He was my best friend. I never…”

“Baby,” I whisper, closing my eyes.
“I don’t regret my time with him. I just…”
“Bre, please stop,” I beg, cutting her off. “Please

stop.” I thought I wanted this, but I don’t. I can’t
stand seeing her in pain even if that pain is caused
by her admitting to me how she feels.

“You were right. I’ve never felt anything like

what I feel when I’m with you, and…” I listen to
her swallow. “I feel so guilty about it, but it’s the
truth.”

“What are you saying?” I question, pulling back

to look at her beautiful, tearstained face. Her eyes
search mine before they slowly start to close.
“What are you saying?” I repeat, needing to know.
I don’t want to get my hopes up, don’t want to start
thinking she wants what I do, only to have her push
me away again.

“I’m terrified of losing you Denver.”
“Bre—”
“Please.” Her hand cups my jaw. “Please let me

talk.” I nod. “I know you’re going to say it won’t
happen, but I know nothing is impossible.”

“Baby.” That one word is spoken so roughly it

comes out jagged.

“I’m willing to try. I’m willing to take a shot on

us if you’re still willing to give me a chance.”

“Bre—” I try once again, but she cuts me off.
“I won’t say I will never freak and do stupid

crap that will likely piss you off, but I’ll try to do
my part, try to fight for this too.”

“You sure?”
“Yes,” she says quietly, nodding.
“You got a couple days off work?” I ask, and she

nods once more.

“Yeah, I…. But if you don’t want me with you, I

get it.”

“I don’t actually gotta work, but I’ve got fuel

and a stocked fridge. How do you feel about
spending a couple days out on the water with me?”

“You lied?”
“You killed me, baby.” I cup her face, and her

eyes fill with remorse. “I know you were his, but
that doesn’t mean I wanna be reminded he got
something that should’ve been mine all along.”

“What?” she breathes, her fingers twisting in the

front of my shirt.

“I should have been your first, Bre. It should

have been me you shared all your first with.”
Watching her expression change, something I don’t
understand fills her eyes, and I ask, “What?”

“The… the night you invited me to that party, I

saw you with Pamela.”

“Who?”
“Pamela,” she reiterates, and I frown. “She was

in  your  class.  A  model.  She  moved  to  New  York
after graduation.” I stare into her eyes, knowing by
the  look  she’s  giving  me  that  I  should  know  who
she’s  talking  about,  but  I  don’t.  “You  were  kissing
her.  I  saw  you  kissing  her  through  the  window  at
Lincoln’s house when I was on the back deck with
Gabe.”

“The night you got with Gabe?” I ask quietly, as

memories from years and years ago start to fill my
mind.  The  night  I  planned  on  asking  her  out.  My
friends drunk-yelling for me to join them for shots.
Pam, the annoying chick in my class, wrapping her
arms  around  my  neck,  trying  to  kiss  me.  Me
shoving her away, going to look for Bre, and finding
out she left holding hands with Gabe, who the next
day  was  all  too  fucking  happy  to  spread  the  news
that she was his. “Fuck me.”

“You remember her?”
“I never fucking kissed her,” I growl.
“I saw you,” she whispers, scanning my face.
“No, you saw her trying to kiss me. You

obviously missed me shoving her away.”

“What?”
“Fuck me. What the fuck?”
“I… I saw you.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“But—”
“Gabe asked you out that night.”
“I—”
“You saw that shit, thought whatever the fuck

you were thinking, and then Gabe asked you out.” I
squeeze my eyes closed and jerk my fingers
through my hair. “What the actual fuck?”

“Denver.”
“Fuck… I was planning on making you mine that

night. I planned—”

“Please stop,” she whimpers, cutting me off,

wrapping her arms around me, and resting her head
against my chest. “Please.”

“You were supposed to be mine.” I bury my face

in her neck, overwhelmed with the emotions
coursing through me. “You were supposed to be
mine.”

“I’m so sorry. I—”
“Don’t,” I growl, interrupting her and pulling

back to look into her eyes. “Without him and your
past, there wouldn’t be a Lyra, and I don’t want to
think  about  that.”  Tears  fill  her  eyes  and  start  to
fall.  “No  more  tears.”  I  hold  her  face  and  kiss  her
cheeks  then  each  of  her  eyelids.  Only  when  her

tears die down do I pull back. “I’m gonna get us
ready to head out. You wanna sit up here, or you
wanna head downstairs?”

“Where are we going?”
“No idea.” I smile. “We’ll figure it out when we

get there.”

“Okay.”
“Okay.” I kiss her again, because I can, and then

order, “Hop off, baby. I’ll take your bag down then
get us out of here.”

She nods then slides off my lap. I watch her take

a seat in my chair, and then I go get us ready to
leave port. I go back to the wheelhouse once I have
us ready to go and keep her in my lap as I drive the
boat into the secluded inlet I have been to a few
times fishing.

I drop anchor once I find a good spot and then

go downstairs to pull out two of the sleeping bags I
keep in the closet. Once I take them with me back
up to the deck, I drop them before going to grab
Bre. When I open the door to the wheelhouse, her
eyes come to me, and as I hold out my hand to her,
she takes it.

“What are you doing?” she asks, watching me

unzip both bags before zipping them together.

“Just trust me.” I lay the sleeping bag out then

pull her hoodie up over her head. “Get in,” I order,
and she looks at the bag then me before lying down
without a word. I climb in next to her and zip us in,

pulling her against me.

She slides her arm over my waist, tucking her

head against my shoulder and chest. “Do you know
much about the constellations?” she asks.

I dip my head to look down at her and find her

eyes on me. “Some.”

“Did I ever tell you how I came up with Lyra’s

name?” she questions, dropping her chin to my
chest.

“No,” I answer softly, holding her gaze.
“Lyra is basically a harp. Orpheus in Greek

mythology  played  one.  Orpheus  married  Eurydice,
and he loved her, really loved her. One day, she was
bitten  by  a  poisonous  snake  and  died.”  She  leans
back  to  look  up  at  the  stars.  “Orpheus  was  so
distraught  by  her  death  that  he  went  into  the
underworld in an attempt to get her back. When he
was  there,  he  charmed  the  gods  with  the  music  he
played  and  they  granted  him  his  wish  of  reuniting
with  his  wife—with  one  condition.  He  wasn’t
allowed  to  look  at  her  until  they  left  the
underworld.”

“Did he resist looking at her?”
I feel her shake her head, and her voice is softer

as she continues. “He wasn’t able to. He turned to
check  on  her,  to  make  sure  she  was  following
before  they  got  back  to  earth.  When  he  did,  she
descended  back  to  the  underworld,  and  he  was
forced to leave without her.”

“What’d he do?”
“He killed himself to be with her, and when he

died, his Lyra was placed in the stars by Zeus.”

“Fuck,” I hiss, feeling my chest tighten. “You’re

still in love with him.”

“What?” she asks, and I look down at her, seeing

her brows draw together.

“You’re still in love with him.”
“In love with who?” she asks, sounding

confused.

“Gabe.”
Her eyes soften and her face comes closer to

mine.  “I  love  him.”  She  moves  her  hand  up,
cupping  my  jaw.  “I  will  always  love  him,  but  I’m
not  in  love  with  him,  Denver.  He’s  not  here.  He
hasn’t  been  here  for  a  long  time  and  he’s  not
coming  back.”  She  looks  away  for  a  moment.  “I
named  her  Lyra,  because  I  thought  the  way
Orpheus loved Eurydice was beautiful, and because
from  the  moment  I  found  out  I  was  pregnant  with
her, I knew I would do everything within my power
to  keep  her  with  me,  to  keep  her  safe,  and  to
always  protect  her.”  She  rests  her  head  on  my
shoulder once more. “You know my mom’s and my
relationship isn’t good. I never want to be like her,
and I never want Ly to feel like I feel to this day.”

“What do you mean?” I prompt. I know all about

her mom. I know she’s hurt both of her kids by not
being around, but Bre has never spoken to me

about her relationship with her mother.

“I don’t know if my mom loves me. She’s never

really shown me she does. I mean, I’m sure she
does in her own way, but it’s not enough.”

“You’re nothing like your mom, baby.”
“I know, but I don’t want to be like her ever.

One thing that worries me….” Her words taper off
and her body fills with tension.

“One thing that worries you?” I question softly,

looking down at her and seeing her eyes close. “Tell
me.”

Her eyes open to meet mine. “One of the reasons

I’ve been trying to stay away from you, is because I
worry I’ll get so wrapped up in you that I’ll neglect
Ly the way my mom has neglected me when she
finds a man. And that scares me.”

“That would never happen.” I place my thumb

over  her  lips  when  she  starts  to  open  her  mouth.
“And  before  you  say  I  don’t  know  it  won’t,  I  do.
I’ve  never  seen  a  mom  more  devoted  to  a  child
than  you  are  to  her.  Yes,  I  want  all  of  you,  every
part of you, but with you comes Lyra. I want us to
build  on  what  we  already  have.  I  want  to  be  a
family. I want the three of us to be a family. Lyra is
important  to  me.  I  love  her  like  she’s  my  own.
Since  the  first  time  I  held  her  in  my  arms,  I’ve
wanted  to  take  care  of  her  and  protect  her.  That
isn’t  going  to  change  for  me,  and  I  know  that  will
never change for you either.”

“You want us to be a family,” she whispers, and I

pull her closer.

“I know it’s going to scare you, but I want it all,

Bre. I want one day—not tomorrow or the next day
—to make you my wife. I want to give Lyra a
brother or sister. I want to spend the rest of my life
with you, making you happy.”

“I hate to say this again, but this is all kinda

fast.”

I smile at that and smooth my fingers down her

cheek. “We have time, but it’s not fast. Think about
the last few years. Think about your feelings for me
and my feelings for you. I’ve known what I’ve
wanted for a long time. I’ve just been waiting for
you to be ready for what I want.”

“And you’re sure about this?”
“Baby, I haven’t been with anyone, even

attempted to be with anyone, since the night Gabe
called me.”

“What? But I thought—”
“No one,” I cut her off. “My parents know. Your

family knows. Hell, everyone in town probably
knows it’s you and only you for me.”

“I think I’m going to cry.” Tears start to fill her

eyes, so I tuck her face against my chest.

“There is nothing to cry about, but like I said,

I’ve known it’s you for me. I know you think this is
fast, but I’m telling you I don’t think it’s fast
enough.” I kiss the top of her head and close my

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

WITH  A  SENSE  OF  DÉJÀ  VU  I  wake  up  to  the
smell  of  the  ocean,  the  sound  of  waves  lapping
against the side of the boat, and the feel of the rise
and  fall  of  the  chest  under  mine.  Unlike  the  last
time I woke up in this exact position, I feel nothing
but contentment.

I open my eyes slowly, and the column of

Denver’s throat comes into view. The urge to touch
my  tongue  to  his  neck  hits  me  hard,  but  I  fight
against  it  and  look  around.  I  don’t  remember
coming  down  to  his  bed  last  night.  He  must  have
somehow  carried  me  downstairs  after  I  fell  asleep
while talking to him. I close my eyes and press my
nose  into  his  chest,  pulling  in  his  scent  that  is  a
mixture  of  salty  sea  air  and  some  kind  of  deep
woodsy  musk.  He  smells  amazing,  and  being
pressed  against  him  while  he’s  sleeping,  with  his
arms  tight  around  me,  feels  like  I’m  waking  in  a

dream. The kind of dream I gave up on years and
years ago, long before Gabe was ever in my life.

I bite my bottom lip when my stomach starts to

fill  with  unexpected  tension.  I  silently  remind
myself  it’s  okay  to  be  happy  and  that  I  promised
Denver  last  night  that  I  would  fight  for  us,  and  I
will. When he walked out of my house, leaving me
on the couch, I knew he wouldn’t be back again. I
knew I had finally succeeded in pushing him away
for  good.  I  tried  to  convince  myself  for  about  five
seconds that was what I wanted, but the pain I felt
weighing  down  on  my  chest  was  worse  than  the
pain I felt when I lost Gabe.

Before I knew what I was doing, I called Shel.

When she heard me sob into the phone, not saying
anything, she hung up and came right over. As soon
as she walked through the front door, I ran right to
her  and  cried  in  her  arms.  I  told  her  through  my
tears  what  happened—well,  most  of  it  anyway.  I
left out the whole him giving me the best orgasm of
my life part, but I did tell her about hurting him on
purpose and him leaving. I also told her that I knew
he  wouldn’t  be  back  again.  When  I  told  her  that,
she  told  me  what  I  already  knew,  that  I  had  to  go
after  him,  that  I  had  to  find  a  way  to  make  things
right.

She shoved me toward my bedroom, telling me

to pack a bag while she called Joe to see if Denver
had told her where he was heading. Joe didn’t

know anything about his plans to leave port, but
she did tell Shel that he hadn’t told her he was
leaving, and he always told her. Which meant I had
a chance to catch him before he was gone.

When Shel hung up the phone with Joe, she

called Lulu to tell her I wouldn’t be in to work on
Monday. I don’t know what she said to Lulu when
she  called,  but  I  do  know  the  nosy  woman  will
probably  have  a  million  and  one  questions  for  me
when I come back to work. She will also likely yell
“I  told  you  so.”  After  Shel  got  off  the  phone  with
Lulu and I was packed, she called my dad and told
him I needed a ride to the harbor. Surprisingly, my
dad didn’t ask any questions as he drove me, but he
did tell me that all he ever wanted was for me to be
happy, as I hopped out of the cab of his truck.

“What are you thinking about?” Denver’s

roughly  spoken  question  pulls  me  from  my
thoughts,  and  I  tip  my  head  back  to  look  into  his
sleepy eyes. I would never think it was possible for
him  to  look  hotter  than  his  normal  hot,  but  his
warm,  sleepy  eyes  and  his  hair  a  rumpled  mess
proves me wrong.

“Nothing.” I rest my temple against his chest and

his arms tighten further.

“Not thinking about running, are you?” he asks,

and  I  shake  my  head  no.  “Good,  especially  since
we’re  in  the  middle  of  nowhere  and  there  is
nowhere  for  you  to  run  to.”  He  smooth’s  a  hand

down the back of my head, then I feel his lips at the
top of my hair as a smile curves my lips. “Hungry?”

“A little,” I answer quietly. I’m actually starving,

but I’d rather go without food than move from
where I am right now.

“I need to go up and check things out, but after

that, I’ll get us something to eat and set you up with
the satellite phone so you can call Lyra.”

Tears suddenly fill my eyes, and I feel like an

idiot for not trusting him all along. “Thank you.”

His fingertips curve around my jaw and he pulls

up gently. When our eyes meet, his expression
softens. “Let’s get up so you can call our girl.”

“Sure,” I agree, but I don’t move and neither

does he. We both just stare at each other for a long
moment.  I  don’t  know  who  leans  in  first,  but  our
lips touch and our mouths open. The kiss is soft and
seeking, slow and sensual. When he rolls me to my
back  and  pulls  his  mouth  from  mine,  my  eyes
flutter open. I find him looming over me, searching
my  gaze.  I’m  not  sure  what  he’s  looking  for,  but
when  his  forehead  drops  to  rest  softly  on  mine,  I
know he found it. “Mine. Fuck. Finally, all mine.”

My lips part and Yours! screams in my mind as

his mouth covers mine again. I’m not sure how long
we lie in bed making out, but when he finally pulls
his mouth from mine with a groan, we are both
breathing heavily and my stomach is loudly roaring
for me to feed it. “I might have lied about being

only a little hungry,” I admit when my stomach
growls again.

Laughing loudly, he gets off the bed then pulls

me up to stand in front of him. “You take the
bathroom first.” He nods to the small door at the
back of the cabin. “If I’m not down here when you
get out, come up top.”

“Okay.”
“Okay.” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear

then leans down, kissing my forehead. When I open
my eyes that I didn’t know were closed, he’s gone.
With  a  deep  breath,  I  go  to  my  bag,  grab  my
toothbrush,  and  take  it  with  me  to  the  bathroom.  I
brush  my  teeth  and  wash  my  face  then  go  back  to
my bag to change out of my jeans and into a pair of
leggings  and  a  long-sleeved  top  with  a  scoop  neck
and a hood. I brush my hair and put it up into a bun
then head upstairs.

Denver is in the wheelhouse when I make it up

to the top deck, so I head straight to him. When he
sees me, he smiles softly through the glass and calls
me in with a wave of his hand. I step inside, and as
soon  as  I’m  within  touching  distance,  he  pulls  me
down onto his lap. I sit and listen to him talk on the
CB radio about fish and the tide, and I lose interest
after  that,  because  his  fingers  slide  under  the  edge
of  my  shirt  and  skim  over  my  skin,  causing  goose
bumps.  When  his  lips  touch  my  neck,  my  breath
stutters  and  I  moan,  dropping  my  head  to  the  side

to give his mouth more access.

I turn to look over my shoulder at him when he

pulls his mouth away, and as my eyes connect with
him,  I  see  he’s  smiling.  I’ve  seen  him  smile  a  lot,
but  I’ve  never  seen  him  smile  like  he  is  right  now.
Happy,  content,  like  he’s  right  where  he  wants  to
be.

I lose his smile when the microphone covers his

mouth  and  he  presses  his  thumb  down  on  the
button  on  the  side  to  talk.  “Walt,  I  gotta  go.  Good
luck  out  there  today.  Stay  safe,  brother.”  He  puts
the  mic  back  into  its  holder  then  wraps  his  hand
around the back of my neck, pulling my face closer
to his. “What is it?”

“I…. You’re happy,” I blurt like a total idiot, and

his head jerks back.

“What?”
“I mean, you… you just seem really happy.”
“You’re here with me,” he states, like having me

with  him  means  everything.  My  chin  wobbles.  He
really  does  love  me.  What  the  hell  is  wrong  with
me?  Why  did  I  never  notice  what  was  happening
between us until now? “You okay?”

“No. I think I might cry again,” I answer

truthfully, and his eyes soften. “I… I don’t know
why I didn’t notice this thing between us before
now.”

“You weren’t ready,” he says, and my eyes slide

over his shoulder to the view of the ocean, and the

land and trees just beyond that. “Look at me,
baby.” I slowly meet his gaze once more. “It’s time
to move forward.” I nod, and he leans in, brushing
his lips across mine. “Come on.” He helps me off
his lap. “Lets go eat, and then call Lyra.”

“Please tell me you have coffee,” I say, as we

head down the steps, him in front of me.

“I have coffee.” He winks at me over his

shoulder.

When we reach downstairs, he shows me where

the stuff is to make a pot of coffee then heads into
the bathroom, where I hear the faucet turn on. With
the coffee brewing, I make the bed then repack my
bag and tuck it away for something to do. Plus,
with how small the space is, it seems even smaller
with things left out and about.

When Denver comes out, he gives me a quick

kiss then hands me a cup of coffee and the phone
that is already ringing when I put it to my ear.

“Hello,” Shel answers on the second ring.
“Hey, Shel. Is Ly awake yet?” I ask, watching

Denver spray a bowl with cooking spray then beat
two eggs in it before placing them in the
microwave.

“Yep, she just sat down to eat breakfast. You

okay?”

My stomach flutters as Denver smiles at me, and

I whisper, “Totally.”

“So you two worked things out?” she asks,

sounding hopeful. God I love her.

“Yeah, we’re good.”
“Good.” I hear relief in her voice. “Hold on.

Here’s Lyra. Love you, honey.”

“Love you too.”
“Mommy.”
“Hey, baby, you okay?”
“Grandpa gave me cake for breakfast,” she

answers, and I hear my dad say in the background
that it was supposed to be a secret. I listen to her
giggle.

“I miss you.”
“Grandma said you’re with Denver on his boat.”
“I am,” I concur.
“I want to go on his boat.”
“Soon, baby.”
“Can I talk to him?”
“Sure,” I laugh. “Hold on. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mama.”
“Ly wants to talk to you.” I hold out the phone.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He winks at me as he puts the

phone to his ear. “Miss you more.” He laughs as he
shakes  his  head.  “Promise.  Me,  you,  and  your
Mama  will  all  come  out  on  the  boat  for  a  night
sometime this summer. Right.” He shakes his head
again,  and  then  his  face  softens  along  with  his
voice.  “Love  you  too.  I’ll  talk  to  you  soon.”  He
hands me back the phone.

“I miss you, baby,” I say again when I put the

phone back to my ear.

“She already ran off to go play,” Shel says, and I

smile. Figures I’m already forgotten about.

“Kiss and hug her for me.
“Will do. Have fun.”
“I will. And Shel?” I call before she can hang up.
“Yeah, honey?”
“Thank you… again, for everything.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. You know that.” I do,

which means I’m lucky. I might have gotten the
short end of the stick where my mom is concerned,
but Shel is the best stepmom a girl could ask for.
“Love you. Talk to you soon.”

“Soon.” I hang up then watch Denver smear

mayo  on  the  bread  he  just  popped  out  of  the
toaster,  dump  the  microwaved  eggs  on  the  toast,
and then add a slice of cheese. “Eat.” He hands me
the egg sandwich wrapped in a paper towel. I never
would have thought eggs cooked in the microwave
could  taste  good,  but  when  I  take  a  bite  from  the
sandwich,  I  find  they  are  actually  fluffy  and
surprisingly delicious. “Good?” he asks, making his
own sandwich.

I chew then swallow before I answer. “Yes, very.

Who knew eggs cooked in a microwave could be so
awesome.”

“Fisherman’s breakfast.” He grins. “When we’re

out here for days, we gotta find ways to eat. This is
one of the things I came up with. Took me ages to

figure out that I needed to spray the bowl with
cooking spray before mixing the eggs to keep them
from sticking, but after that, I was set.”

“Good to know.” I smile as he sits down next to

me on the bed to eat his own sandwich. “So what
are we going to do today?” I ask between bites.

“This,” he answers, gesturing to me with a flick

of his fingers.

“This?”
“Just this. All I’ve ever wanted is you and me to

spend time together.”

God, if he keeps saying things like that, I’m

going to keep crying like the girls in the sappy
romance movies Shel loves to watch. “Sounds
good.” I swallow over the lump in my throat.

“You gonna cry?”
“No,” I lie.
He grins, leaning in and kissing my temple before

looking into my eyes. “You’re eyes look a little
wet.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes to the ceiling and

fight back a smile as he starts to laugh.

“I’ve got my laptop and some movies. We can

lay in bed and watch something. Then later, we can
go up and see if we can catch something for
dinner.”

“Really?”
“Yeah.” He stands then walks across the small

space to a cupboard, opening it up. He pulls out a

CD  folder,  handing  it  to  me,  and  I  scan  through
about a hundred different movies, a few scary, most
of  them  action.  I  settle  on  one  of  the  scarier  ones
then curl up next to Denver in bed, my head on his
chest.  We  half  watch  the  movie  between  making
out,  and  when  we  head  up  to  see  about  catching
dinner, I know he was right. Even though I miss my
baby  like  crazy,  just  him  and  me  spending  time
together is a pretty perfect way to spend the day.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

IN  THE  WHEELHOUSE  WITH  BRE  on  my  lap,
we  sit  in  silence,  staring  out  at  the  ocean.  I  don’t
know  what  she’s  thinking  about,  but  I’m  thinking
these  last  couple  days  have  been  fucking  perfect
and are coming to an end way too fucking quickly.

“You ready to head back to town tomorrow

morning?”

Her question causes my fingers that are running

through her hair to pause, and I pull in a breath. I’m
not ready to head back to town. I wish we could
stay out here forever, and if Lyra were here with
us, I’d make it happen, at least for a few more days.
But just like Bre, I miss our girl, and unfortunately,
I need to get back to town so I can get ready for the
next opener.

“No,” I answer, and she looks at me over her

shoulder. “Are you ready?”“I miss Ly like crazy,
but this has been nice. I like spending time with you

out here. I wish we had a little longer.” She rests
her head back on my shoulder and wraps her arms
around my waist.

“Like I told Ly, we’ll bring her out this summer

for a night, and if we can get away, you and I can
come back out again just the two of us.”

“I’d like that,” she agrees, letting out a long

breath. “When we get back, I have to talk to
Gabe’s parents.”

“About what?” I ask, hearing the tension in her

voice.

“When they came over to the house for Ly’s

birthday, they asked me if they could take her away
with  them  for  a  couple  weeks  this  summer  to  visit
Gabe’s  grandmother  in  the  lower  forty-eight.  I
guess  she  isn’t  doing  so  well,  and  they  want  Ly  to
have a chance to meet her before it’s too late.”

“Are you letting them take her?” I question, my

gut tightening at the idea of Lyra being forced on a
trip with two people she doesn’t really know. Yes, I
know they’re her grandparents, but my mom and
dad have spent more time with Lyra since she was
born than they have.

“No, that’s what I need to talk to them about,

and I know they’re not going to be happy with me
when I give them my answer.”

“They’ll understand,” I say quietly, running my

hand down her back.

“They won’t, but I don’t like the idea of being

away from Ly for two weeks. And I really don’t
like the idea of her being alone with them for two
weeks in a state so far away it’d take me at least a
day to get to her if something happened.”

“Do you think they’d hurt her?”
“No, not at all. But they aren’t like normal

parents.” She tips her head back to look at me.
“They even make my mom look like Mother of the
Year, and you know my mom is totally not that.”
She frowns. “They don’t even hug.”

“Pardon?”
“They don’t hug or touch. They don’t show any

kind of affection at all. And Ly is used to that; she’s
use to hugs and kisses and being tucked in at night
and  cuddled  in  the  morning  when  she  first  wakes
up.” I know that, since I’ve given her all that since
the  day  she  was  born.  “A  part  of  me—the  part  of
me that loved their son and feels guilty that Ly will
never really know him—wants to let them take her.
But  if  I  did,  I  know  Ly  would  be  freaked  out  by
them after the first night.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty about,” I state

forcefully,  and  her  eyes  meet  mine  once  more.
“You  were  married  to  their  son,  not  to  them.
They’ve had a chance to play a role in Lyra’s life,
and they chose what role they wanted to play. You
have  given  them  every  opportunity  to  be  around,
but they haven’t really taken it.”

“I know that, but—”

“No.” I shake my head, cupping her cheek. “No

buts.  I  haven’t  been  around  them  much,  but  at
Lyra’s party, they didn’t spend much time with her.
They  didn’t  try  to  talk  to  the  other  people  in  their
granddaughter’s life to see who was around her and
what role everyone played. They came and stood in
the corner and kept to themselves. That’s them, and
I get that, but how they are is not on you, and even
if  Gabe  were  alive,  that  would  still  be  the  truth.
Them even asking you to take Lyra away from you
and  the  rest  of  her  family  for  two  weeks  to  spend
time with them and other people she doesn’t know
just  shows  they  don’t  care  how  that  could  affect
her.  If  she  were  older,  I  might  be  a  little  more
understanding,  but  she’s  only  four  years  old.  She
wouldn’t get it, and she’d likely be traumatized by
the  situation.  Not  fucking  happening.”  When  I
finish speaking, I see that her lips are parted in awe.

“You love her.”
“You know I do.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I mean, you really

love her. You love her like I love her.”

Understanding fills my chest, and I slide my

fingers  across  her  cheek  while  dipping  my  face
closer to hers. “Baby, the moment I held her in my
arms, I fell in love with her. I knew then that I’d do
everything  within  my  power  to  protect  her.  She’s
not  my  blood,  but  she’s  a  part  of  my  heart  all  the
same. I love her down to my marrow, like she’s my

own.”

“She loves you,” she states firmly.
“I know she does, and I will forever cherish that.

It’s a gift I don’t take for granted.”

“You’re going to make me cry again,” she

whispers,  as  tears  fill  her  eyes.  I  know  I  shouldn’t
laugh,  but  I  can’t  help  it.  “It’s  not  funny.”  She
smacks  my  chest  when  my  body  starts  to  shake.
“You’re turning me into a giant baby.”

“You’re not a baby. You’ve just got a lot going

on.”

“I’m going to keep telling myself that, so I don’t

feel like a dork for crying every five minutes when
I’m around you.”

“You think you can hold off on the crying

business while we figure out dinner?”

“Maybe.” She shrugs pouting her bottom lip out.

“What are we having?”

“I think I have a couple salmon steaks in the

fridge. I also have more of that salad you liked.”

“The potato one with the peas and bacon?” she

asks hopefully.

“Yeah.” “Maybe I can hold off crying for that,”

she mummers, and I kiss her smiling lips before
helping her off my lap. “Can we eat up here and
watch the sunset?”

“If that’s what you want.” I follow her

downstairs and we make dinner together, using the
hotplate I have and the microwave to heat up some

creamed  corn.  When  dinner’s  done,  we  take  our
plates  up  to  the  deck  and  eat  looking  out  at  the
ocean. The sun has set, but because it’s summer, it
won’t fully disappear; the sky won’t go completely
black. It’s a beautiful night. The water is calm and
the air is warm. When we’re finished eating, I take
our empty plates back down to the kitchen, leaving
them  in  the  small  sink  before  I  grab  the  sleeping
bags from the closet.

“Oh my God!” I hear Bre scream, and I drop the

sleeping bags in my hand and take the steps two at
a time to the top deck. As soon as I shove through
the door, I scan the deck. When I see Bre bent over
the side of the boat, half hanging over, the tips of
her toes barely on the wood deck, my heart feels
like it’s going to pound out of my chest.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She bolts

upright, turns toward me with her eyes wide, and
places her finger to her lips. What the fuck?

“Come here,” she whispers, waving her hand

back and forth franticly. I start toward her then stop
when I hear a hiss and see mist shoot up into the air
just  off  the  edge  of  the  boat.  “Whales!  There  are
two orcas.” She jumps up and down, her eyes filling
with  excitement.  “Be  quiet.  I  don’t  want  to  scare
them off.” She turns back around, leaning over the
edge  of  the  boat  once  more.  I  step  close  to  her,
wrapping  my  hand  around  her  waist  to  keep  her
steady,  and  look  into  the  water  just  as  shimmering

black and white skims the surface. “I’ve never seen
one  this  close,”  Bre  murmurs,  as  she  reaches  out
her hand like she’ll be able to touch the orca slowly
disappearing  back  down  into  the  darkness  of  the
cold  water.  “I  think  it’s  a  mom.  There’s  a  smaller
one with her.”

She looks around then points. “Oh my God,

there  he  is.  Look!”  Sure  enough,  a  few  feet  away,
both  the  mother  and  her  calf  come  to  the  surface,
blowing  and  causing  a  hiss  to  fill  the  air.  “Holy
cow.”  She  presses  her  front  to  mine,  wrapping  her
arms  around  my  waist,  and  I  look  down  at  the  top
of  her  head.  “You  know”—she  looks  up  at  me
—“this is good luck.”

“What?”
“It’s supposed to be a good omen when you see

an orca whale, and we just saw two.” She smiles up
at me then turns her head as another hiss comes
from farther away.

“It’s an entire pod,” I say, watching the mom and

her calf swim toward the three other large whales
that are off in the distance.

“I wish I had my cell phone on me or a camera

so I could take some pictures.”

“I’ve got a camera in the wheelhouse.” I let her

go of her to grab it. When I come back, I hand her
the small, black digital camera then watch her take
about two-hundred photos of the whales as they
swim back and forth, probably hunting for food.

“Ly would love this,” she tells me, as I wrap my

arms around her middle and look over her shoulder.
“I wish she were here.” She holds up a picture she
took for me to see before going back to clicking
through the photos she just snapped.

“Next time.” I kiss her neck, feeling her shiver.

“Cold?”

“No,” she breathes.
“Mmm.” I nip her neck and smile when she

trembles again, and then feel my cock twitch when
she presses her ass back into me.

Moving my hands up under her shirt, my fingers

graze her stomach before dipping under the
waistband of her leggings to slide back and forth
just above her pubic bone.

“Denver.”
“Right here, baby.”
“Please touch me,” she whispers. Fuck, since we

stepped on the boat, we’ve made out a lot, touched
a lot, but I’ve kept myself in check, not wanting to
rush things. But hearing the plea in her voice, I
know I won’t be able to deny her. “Please. Please
touch me.”

My cock, now hard, presses painfully against the

zipper of my jeans as my fingers slide down
between her legs, finding her hot and already
soaked.

“Open your legs for me,” I growl into her ear.

Her head falls back against my shoulder and a quiet

moan leaves her mouth while her legs spread
farther apart. I dip two fingers inside her wet heat
before moving them up to circle her clit, and I bite
back a groan as she starts to grind her hips. “I want
to taste you.”

“Wh-what?” she pants, her eyes half-mast,

meeting mine when she turns her head to look at
me.

“I want my mouth on you, between your legs. I

want to taste you.” I stop circling when I see desire
and  worry  fill  her  gaze.  Fuck,  seeing  that  look,  I
know  she’s  never  experienced  that  before.  Instead
of  saying  something  that  will  likely  freak  her  the
fuck  out,  I  kiss  her,  thrusting  my  tongue  between
her  lips  while  my  fingers  go  back  to  work  on  her
clit. Christ, she’s so fucking responsive, so fucking
hot,  wet,  and  tight.  I  know  the  minute  I  feel  that
heat and tightness around my cock I’m going to be
done.

“Denver.” My name leaves her mouth on a plea

as  I  thrust  two  fingers  deep  and  use  my  thumb  to
circle her clit. The walls of her pussy start to spasm
around  my  fingers  as  she  comes,  and  I  hear  the
camera  that  was  in  her  hand  hit  the  deck  as  she
loses her hold on it. I listen to her shout my name,
and  then  watch  as  her  orgasm  washes  over  her.
Beautiful.  But  fuck  I  want  that  beauty  on  my
tongue. I  want to  taste  it. I  want  her to  know  how
good  she  tastes  to  me  as  I  spread  her  out  and  eat

her until I’m full and she’s satisfied.

“You think you can make it down the steps?”
“I don’t know,” she pants, her legs shaking as I

pull my fingers from her slowly.

“Right.” I turn her in my arms and pick her up.

Her  legs  circle  my  hips  and  her  mouth  drops  to
mine.  I  stop  to  kiss  her  then  pull  back  before  I’m
too far gone and fuck her on the deck. “Took me a
year to make it down the steps with you asleep the
other night, baby. Stairway’s narrow as fuck. I was
worried  I’d  crash  your  head  into  the  wall.  Let  me
get us downstairs.”

“Okay.” She tucks her face into my neck and I

groan when she starts to nibble my throat.

I carefully maneuver the stairs, and when I reach

the bottom, I don’t hesitate to place her on the bed.
“Lift your hips, baby,” I order, after I slip off her
shoes and have my fingers curled around the
waistband of her black leggings. She raises her hips,
and I tug her pants off along with her panties.

I don’t waver; once she’s bare from the waist

down, I spread her open and bury my face between
her legs. I swipe my tongue through her folds and
know that I’ve never tasted anything sweeter in my
life. I hold her open and go at her ruthlessly using
my teeth, my tongue, and my fingers to bring her to
the brink of orgasm before easing off then building
her back up again.

When her fingers tighten in my hair and her hips

lift up high off the bed, I know she’s done waiting. I
thrust  one,  two,  then  three  fingers  inside  of  her,
feeling  her  walls  start  to  tighten  while  she  grinds
herself against my mouth. I suck her clit and tap her
G-spot,  my  cock  jerks  and  leaks  as  she  comes,
shouting my name. I ease my fingers from her still
pulsing pussy and wipe my face on her inner thigh.

“I need you,” she pants, lifting up on her elbows.
“Shirt off,” I growl, and she sits up, tugging her

shirt  over  her  head,  leaving  her  naked  before  me.
Part  of  me  is  tempted  to  dive  right  back  between
her  legs,  but  I  don’t.  My  cock  is  throbbing.  I  kick
off my boots, tug off my jeans and boxers, and then
rip my thermal off over my head. Tossing my shirt
aside,  I  climb  on  the  bed  and  move  between  her
legs,  groaning  when  my  cock  brushes  against  her
wetness.

“Denver.” She circles me with her arms and legs

and tips her head back, offering me her mouth.

I kiss her, wrapping one hand around my length

and the other around her hip to hold her in place. I
slide the head of my cock up and down her slit and
groan. “Fuck.” My head drops forward, reality
kicking in. “Condom. I don’t have a fucking
condom.”

“What?” She writhes under me while her legs

lock tight around my hips, like she’s afraid I’m
going to pull away. I am going to pull away; fuck, I
don’t have a goddamn condom.

“No, I’m covered. Please. Please, I don’t want

anything between us.” Her nails dig into my back
and her eyes lock with mine. “Please.”

“Fuck.” I slide inside her, not slow, not taking

my  time  like  I  should.  I  slam  into  her  hard,
watching  her  eyes  flare  and  her  head  jerk  back
while  her  lips  part.  Fuck,  my  balls  draw  tight  and
my  teeth  grind  together.  I’ve  never  felt  anything
like  what  I’m  feeling  right  now  with  her  wrapped
around  me,  and  it’s  taking  everything  in  me  not  to
pull  out  and  slam  back  inside  her  again.  “You
okay?”

“God, yes.” Her soft hands move up my chest to

curl around my neck then she lifts her head, placing
her mouth against mine. “Please move, Denver.”

I don’t move. I try to memorize this moment, the

taste of her still on my tongue, the smell of her skin,
the feel of her wet and tight around me, the look in
her eyes. “I love you.” The words come out
without me thinking. It’s not the first time I’ve told
her I love her, but there is something about saying it
right now that seems different, significant.

Her face softens and her hand cups my jaw. “I

love you too. I always have.”

“Fuck.” I take her mouth then pull out and slide

slowly back inside her. Perfect, so fucking perfect,
like everything about her. I know her pussy was
made just for me. I lift my head, pulling my mouth
from hers, and watch our connection. “Touch

yourself, Bre,” I order, and she hesitantly slides her
hands down my chest and stomach before her
fingers glide lightly over her clit. “Touch yourself,
baby.” Her fingers pick up their pace and her eyes
fall closed as her pussy start to spasms.

“Oh my God,” she hisses, her fingers spreading

out  to  feel  our  connection  as  I  start  to  thrust  into
her  over  and  over.  “I…  God,  this  is…  this  is
everything.”  She’s  right;  this  is  everything—her,
me, the connection we share, the love we have for
each other, the life I’m going to build with her. This
is everything. “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”

“Never.” I keep at her, taking her deep and

fucking her hard. Even when her eyes open to meet
mine, her loud moans start to fill the quiet, and her
pussy begins to pulse around my cock, I don’t stop.
I keep thrusting into her, taking her hard and deep,
wanting  to  bury  myself  so  far  inside  her  she  will
never  be  able  to  get  rid  of  me.  I  know  the  exact
moment  her  orgasm  hits,  and  when  it  does,  I  feel
my balls draw tight and my muscles bunch. I thrust
one  last  time  and  come  deep  inside  her,  with  my
mouth  on  hers  and  her  legs  and  arms  tight  around
me.

“Waited years,” I rasp against her lips. “Fucking

years to feel you, all of you.”

“Denver.”
“I would have waited forever for you, Bre.” I

pull my face back to look into her beautiful eyes

and lift my hand to skim my fingers down her soft
cheek. “I’d never regret it, not for one second. I’d
wait forever for you, as long as I knew I’d feel
what I’m feeling right now, to know you’re mine in
every way there is to be.” I watch her eyes fill with
tears then feel my own become wet when I see the
look in her glistening irises. She pulls me down to
bury her face in my neck, and I hold her close as a
sob rips from her chest.

Fuck yes, I’d have waited a lifetime, as long as I

knew in the end I’d have this, that in the end we’d
have each other.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

PRESSED  TO  DENVER’S  SIDE  WITH  my  thigh
over his and my arm over his abs, I try with all my
might to fall asleep. I can’t. No matter what I do, I
can’t seem to get my brain to shut off. It’s not like
I’m not tired, because I am. My body is exhausted;
every muscle is achy in a really good way, but even
after  two  rounds  of  sex  and  receiving  five  really
great  orgasms,  my  stupid  brain  won’t  quiet  down
long enough for me to get some rest.

Not wanting to wake Denver with my

restlessness, I carefully crawl off the bed and grab
his long-sleeved thermal from the floor. I pull it on
over  my  head,  letting  it  drop  to  almost  my  knees
before I head up the stairs to the top deck. It’s cold,
a  lot  colder  than  it  was  earlier  when  we  were  out
here. I wrap my arms around my middle as I shuffle
to  the  side  of  the  boat.  I  stare  at  the  stars  and  the
ocean, trying to let the quiet fill me with peace. I’m

not sure what is keeping me awake. Maybe it’s the
amazing sex and orgasms. Maybe it’s knowing that
my  time  alone  with  Denver  and  the  bubble  we’ve
created  out  here  are  coming  to  an  end.  Or  maybe
it’s  just  me  coming  to  the  realization  of  something
that  is  unbelievably  sad.  I  squeeze  my  eyes  closed
as  that  understanding  fully  penetrates.  If  I  didn’t
lose  Gabe,  I  don’t  know  that  I  would  have  what  I
have  right  now—the  chance  at  happiness  with  the
man I have been in love with since I was a kid. The
man who has been in love with me for just as long.

“I loved you,” I whisper into the cold without

thinking. “I loved you. Please don’t for one
moment think I didn’t. This is just…” I drag in a
shaky breath. “This is more. This is everything.”

I jump when arms circle my waist from behind,

and I pull in a sharp, startled breath.

“You okay?” Hearing the concern in Denver’s

voice, my eyes slide open, seeing the stars that are
above us reflecting off the water.

“Yeah.”
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks, nuzzling my neck.
“No,” I answer, placing my hands over his.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Gabe,” I answer, feeling his muscles bunch and

his body start to pull away from mine. I don’t let
him go. I wrap my arms tighter around his and hold
on.

“Bre—”

“He spent a lot of time outside under the night

sky after we found out what was wrong with him,”
I  start,  and  his  arms  tighten  painfully,  making  it
hard for  me to  pull  in a  breath,  but I  fight  through
it. “He’d sit in his chair on the deck with his head
tipped  back,  staring  at  the  stars.”  My  eyes  close
briefly at the memory. “Once, I asked him what he
was looking for, and he told me he was waiting on
shooting stars.” My vision goes blurry. “When he’d
see one, he’d never make a wish to get better.” My
throat  starts  to  tighten.  “All  his  wishes  were  for
me.”  I  swallow  over  the  lump,  breathe  through  it,
and  continue,  “He  was  my  best  friend.  He  was
good to me. We were happy. I don’t regret the life
we had together, but I…”

“Don’t,” he growls, his word and his arms

squeezing  to  cut  me  off.  “Don’t  even  say  it.  I
wouldn’t  want  that.  He  meant  something  to  you,
baby,  and  yeah,  sometimes  it’s  hard  for  me  to
accept. But you’re right. You were happy. I’m glad
you  were  happy.  I  always  want  that  for  you,  then
and now.”

“It’s so weird,” I whisper, turning in his arms and

looking into his eyes that I have always loved.

“What’s weird?”
“Happiness. Being happy. It’s weird. I thought I

was  happy  then.”  I  shake  my  head.  “No,  I  know  I
was  happy  then.  But  I’m  happy  now.”  I  slide  my
hands  up  and  wrap  them  around  both  sides  of  his

neck.  “It’s  a  different  kind  of  happiness.  A
happiness I feel all the way down to my soul. These
last  two  days,  I  realized  that  with  you  I  feel  full.  I
feel  complete.  I  didn’t  know  I  wasn’t  that  before
but you gave that to me.”

“Baby—”
I interrupt him, knowing I need to make him

understand,  even  though  it  hurts.  “If  I  had  the
power to make things different, I wouldn’t.” I look
off  into  the  distance,  hating  myself  for  even
admitting  the  truth  out  loud.  “I  wouldn’t  change
losing him.” I drop my head forward as a sob slips
from my throat and the tears I’ve been fighting fall
free. “I wouldn’t change anything, because without
that,  I  wouldn’t  be  able  to  have  you.  And  I  can’t
imagine not being able to experience this.”

“Bre.” His tone is tortured.
“I know that makes me a horrible person.”
“It doesn’t,” he states firmly, leaning back,

taking my face between his large hands, and using
his thumbs to wipe away each tear as they fall. “It
doesn’t, and baby, he’s not the only one who spent
time wishing on stars. I’ve spent the last few years
staring up at the night sky, hoping to see the star
that would bring you to me.” He rests his forehead
against mine. “I hate that you lost him, but I’m not
sorry I have a shot at making you happy for the rest
of your life.”

“Denver.”

“I love you, Bre, have loved you since I

understood what the emotions you gave me meant.
If  I  could  take  your  pain,  your  hurt,  your  regret,  I
would.  I’d  do  anything  for  you,  baby.  Anything.”
He  leans  back,  looking  into  my  eyes.  “This  is  our
story.  This  is  the  way  our  story  was  meant  to
unfold.  Who  knows  if  we  would  have  ended  up
taking  each  other  for  granted  had  we  found  each
other  so  young?  Who  knows  what  would  have
happened between us if things didn’t work out like
they  did?  All  I  do  know  is  I  will  cherish  every
second  I  have  with  you,  and  I  will  appreciate
everything  you  give  me,  and  I  will  never  take  one
second with you for granted.”

With his words, the sincerity in his eyes, and his

hands gently holding my face, I know things will be
okay, that we will find a way to work through
whatever life throws at us. We will find a way to
give each other the happiness we both deserve.

“I love you,” I tell him through my tears and the

pain in my chest. “Thank you for waiting on me to
sort my head out. But most of all, thank you for
fighting for us.”

“Fuck,” he rumbles, pulling me against him,

curving his hand around the back of my head, and
holding me close. “It’s cold. I gotta get you inside.”

I nod but don’t move from where I am, and

neither does he. We stand just like that until I start
to shiver, and only then does he take me back

downstairs. We make love, slow and unhurried,
building each other up until we both come apart.
Then he tucks me against him with my head on his
chest, his heart beating in a solid tempo against my
ear.

“What do you want baby?”
“You.”
“You have me, you’ll always have me.” I rest my

forehead against his and close my eyes against his
skin.

“I wished for you,” I whisper my confession.

“When I was just a kid I wished on a shooting star
that you’d notice me, I wished that you’d be mine.”

“Bre.” He slides one hand up my back into my

hair his voice sounding tortured.

I open my eyes and look down into his handsome

face  and  beautiful  eyes.  “It  took  a  while  for  my
wish to come true but I’m really happy that it did.”
I  touch  my  mouth  to  his  and  lick  against  his  lips,
and  when  he  kisses  me  back  I  pour  into  our  kiss
everything I feel for him, wanting, no needing him
to know that he’s everything to me.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

STANDING  IN  THE  KITCHEN  AT  the  stove,  I
dump  a  jar  of  pasta  sauce  into  the  meat  I  already
browned  while  I  listen  to  Ly.  I  watch  her  as  she
colors  a  page  in  the  coloring  book  in  front  of  her,
and  laugh  as  she  talks  a  mile  a  minute  about  what
she  did  while  I  was  gone.  When  Denver  and  I
returned back into town this afternoon, he brought
me  home,  said  a  quick  goodbye  to  me  before  he
gave  Ly  a  long  hug,  and  told  her  he’d  be  back  to
the house for dinner tonight.

I didn’t know we were going to have dinner

together,  but  I  was  happy  we  were.  After  the  last
two days with him, I didn’t want what we shared to
come  to  an  end.  I  wanted  to  keep  living  in  the
moment,  to  keep  feeling  happy  and  complete,  and
to keep adding on to what we were building, but to
stir Ly into the mix to make it even better.

“When you and Denver get married, can I call

him Daddy?” At Ly’s sudden and unexpected
question, my hand stirring the sauce stills and my
heart starts to pound.

“I….” I have no idea what I’m going to say, but I

don’t get a chance to say anything, because she
continues without looking up at me.

“I know he’s not my daddy,” she says before

lifting  her  head.  “But  Penelope  said  he  would  be
my  stepdad,  so  can  I  call  him  Dad?”  Holy  shit!  I
thought  I  was  ready  for  this.  I  was  totally,  totally
wrong. My mind scrambles for a way to answer her
question as she drops her eyes back down to what
she  was  doing,  continuing  on  to  something  new  to
freak  me  out.  “Can  I  be  the  flower  girl?”  A  vision
of  me  walking  in  a  wedding  dress  toward  Denver
while  Ly  tosses  out  flowers  in  front  of  me  fills  my
mind.  It’s  a  beautiful  image,  one  that  scares  the
crap  out  of  me  and  makes  me  want  to  do  girly
cartwheels all over the house. “Can I wear a dress
like Princess Elsa?”

How cute would that be? Crap, I need to grab a

hold of this and be an adult, not start searching for
a flower girl dress. “Baby.” Her eyes lift to meet
mine. “Denver and I are seeing each other, but we
are not getting married anytime soon.”

“But Penelope said you guys are in love, had

always been in love with each other.”

Okay, my baby sister, who is only a few years

older than Ly, has a big mouth. “She said she

overheard Grandma Shel and Grandma Joe talking
about it.”

“Honey—”
“Are you in love?” she asks, sounding like the

wrong answer will send her into a tantrum.

“Yes,” I answer honestly, because we are, and

because if things keep going like we both want
them to, we will one day be a family.

“Then I want to call him Dad.” My stomach

muscles twist as I stare at my baby. She has always
seemed wise beyond her years. Even looking into
her eyes when she was just days old, it felt like she
already knew everything there was to know about
life and how the world works. “Even Grandpa said
he’s been my daddy since I was born.”

“Grandpa said that?” I whisper, and she nods.
“Your daddy was Gabe, Ly,” I say gently, and

she  looks  away.  I  have  spoken  to  her  about  Gabe
since before she was born, and I have talked to her
about  him  as  much  as  possible  since  she  took  her
first  breath.  He  would  have  been  so  happy  to  find
out  we  were  pregnant,  and  I  know  he  would  have
been  an  amazing  father  to  her.  As  much  as  I  love
the  love  she  has  for  Denver,  I  don’t  want  her  to
forget  about  Gabe.  I  move  around  the  counter
toward  her  and  crouch  close  to  her  side.  “I  know
you never met him, but Gabe is a part of you, and
you’re a part of him.”

“But,” she starts, and I reach out, taking her

hand, and then lean closer, wrapping my hand
around the side of her face. Crap, I’m not even sure
how to talk to her about this. “If the time comes
and you feel like you want to call Denver Dad, I’m
all for that, baby. But let’s wait a little while, ‘kay?”

“Like until after you’re married?”
“Yes, but if you think we need to talk about it

before then, we can.”

“Okay.” She smiles then looks back down at the

picture she’s been coloring, drops the crayon she
had in her hand, and changes it out for a new color.

I watch her, thinking that was strange—not good,

not  bad,  but  still  awkward.  I  also  think  I  need  to
have  a  talk  with  my  parents  and  my  sister  about
what  they  discuss  around  her,  because  she
obviously  hears  everything,  even  when  you  don’t
think she’s paying attention.

With a shake of my head, I go back around to

the stove and dump a box of pasta into the water
that is already boiling. Once the pasta is done, I mix
it with the meat sauce, transfer it into a baking dish,
and smother it with mozzarella before putting it in
the oven.

When the doorbells rings at ten to six, Ly jumps

off her stool, shouting “I’ll get it!” with me right on
her heels.

I expect Denver to be on the other side of the

door, so when I swing it open without looking to
see who’s outside, my body freezes when I see my

mom standing on my porch. “Mom?” I drop my
eyes to her bag and bite my lip.

“Hey.” She leans in, wrapping her arms around

me and giving me a hug. Letting me go, she scoops
up  Ly,  who  is  totally  startled  by  the  grandmother
she  does  not  know.  “Hey,  pretty  girl.”  She  kisses
Ly’s  cheek.  “God,  you  look  just  like  your  mom.
Nothing like your dad. Thank god for that.”

“Mom,” I whisper-hiss, not that she notices.
“I decided to come to town for a couple weeks. I

thought we should spend some time together and
catch up.”

I blink at her as she hands me Ly, picks up her

bag, and hauls it into the house before shutting the
door.

She did this once or twice in the past when Gabe

was  alive,  dropped  by  unexpectedly  and  invited
herself  to  stay  awhile.  Those  times,  I  had  been
accommodating,  because  a  part  of  me  was  hoping
she  was  going  to  turn  over  a  new  leaf  and  finally
step up to be my mom. I learned after the last time
she came and went without a word for months that
she  didn’t  want  to  spend  time  with  me;  she  just
needed a place to crash.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, as Ly rests

her head on my shoulder and her arms tighten
around my neck.

“Something smells great. I’m starved.” She pulls

off her light jean jacket, tossing it into the darkened

front living room, and I hear it land on the couch.
“How have you been?” she asks without answering
my question.

Anger starts to pump through my blood, but I

know I cannot get as pissed as I want to with Ly in
my  arms.  I  cannot  let  Ly  see  me  lose  my  damn
mind.  “I’ll  be  right  back.”  I  don’t  look  at  her.  I
open  the  front  door,  step  out,  and  close  it  behind
me.  In  my  bare  feet,  I  carry  Ly  in  my  arm  across
my  front  porch,  over  the  gravel  between  my  dad’s
house  and  mine,  and  right  through  his  front  door
without knocking.

“Gorgeous?” Dad frowns when he sees me. I

don’t say anything to him. I carry Ly upstairs to my
sister’s room and push her door open. Like normal,
Pen is in bed, reading. She starts to smile when she
sees me, but reading the look on my face, her smile
fades away.

“Can you hang with your niece for a bit, Pen?” I

ask, and she nods. “Baby, stay with Pen. I’ll be
back to get you, or Denver will when he gets to the
house,” I say, looking into her eyes, and she nods.
“Love you.”

“Love you too, Mama,” she whispers. I set her

to  her  feet,  turn,  and  leave  the  room,  shutting  the
door.  I  find  my  dad  and  Shel  at  the  bottom  of  the
steps  when  I  get  there,  with  their  arms  curled
around each other.

“What’s going on?” Dad asks, narrowing his

eyes and giving me a look that I haven’t seen in
years. One that says I better tell him or he will
ground me for the rest of my life.

“Mom’s over at my place right now. She just

showed  up  with  a  suitcase,  walked  in,  and  greeted
me  like  she’s  been  seeing  me  every  month  for
years.  Then  she  picked  up  Ly  and  totally  freaked
her out by being everything that is her.”

“What?” Shel whispers, knowing I haven’t seen

my mom since before Gabe died.

“Please tell me you’re fucking kidding me,” Dad

bites out, walking to the door and slipping on his
boots.

“Don’t.” I grab his arm. “Please don’t. I need to

do this. I need to tell her myself how I feel.”

“No, you do not.”
I turn my head when I hear that rumbled, and

blink when I see a pissed off Denver standing in the
now open doorway.

“Wha—”
“Went to the house. Your mom was there when I

walked in. When I asked where you were, she said
you took off. I came here knowing this is where
you’d be. I just heard everything you said, and no
way are you facing that alone, not when you don’t
have to.”

“Denver—”
“No. Remember when I said I’d do everything in

my power to take care of you? This is part of me

doing that.”

“I have to be the one to tell her.”
“I get that, and you can do that. But you’ll have

me, your dad, and Shel at your back while you do
it.”

“Okay,” I agree, stepping toward him, and I

watch  as  tension  drains  from  his  shoulders.  If  I
didn’t  already  know  I  love  him,  I  would  have
figured it out right then. Him feeling so much worry
over  me  talking  to  the  woman  who  has  made  me
feel  unloved  and  unwanted  most  of  my  life,  and
demanding to be at my back, would have shown me
what I already know. “Can we do that now?” I ask,
looking into his eyes when he doesn’t move to get
out of my way.

“Yeah,” he mutters, before wrapping his hand

around  the  back  of  my  neck,  pulling  me  forward,
and  dropping  a  very  quick,  very  hard  kiss  to  my
mouth  before  he  leans  back  to  search  my  eyes.
“You got this, baby.”

I nod, but he doesn’t nod back. He slides his

heavy arm around my shoulders then walks back to
my  front  door.  I  hear  my  dad  and  Shel  coming  up
the steps as I open the door, and I know by the look
on  my  mom’s  face  when  she  sees  them  and  isn’t
happy  about  it.  She  acted  like  things  were  okay
between  everyone  when  I  was  getting  married  to
Gabe, but seeing the anger in her eyes as she looks
between Shel and Dad, I know that was all pretend.

“Seriously?” she questions, placing her hands on

her hips, her eyes darting from me to my dad, who
is now standing at my side, and then back to me. “I
didn’t come here for drama.”

“Why are you here?” I ask. “Wait. Never mind. I

really don’t care.” I cut her off when her mouth
starts to open. “You know my husband died four
years ago, right?”

Her face softens slightly. “I know, honey. I—”
“You weren’t here then, when I needed you. You

didn’t show when I found out I was pregnant. You
didn’t show when I had Ly. I haven’t seen you in
years.”

“I know, but—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it, because I no longer

care. I no longer need to pretend that you worry
about me, that you think about me, or that you
want me in your life as badly as I used to want you
in mine.”

“I’m your mom.”
“You are? That’s funny.” I laugh, but it’s a sound

full of pain, heartache, and empty promises made to
a  little  girl  who  only  ever  wanted  to  be  loved.
“Funny, because the last time I checked, it was Shel
who talked to me about my period, about boys, and
about  sex.  It  was  Shel  who  stood  at  my  side,
holding  my  hand  when  Gabe’s  ashes  sank  to  the
bottom of the ocean. It was Shel who curled around
me as I cried all night. It was Shel who forced me to

eat  and  to  shower.  It  was  Shel  who  held  my  hand
when I heard Ly’s heartbeat for the first time. Shel
was  the  one  who  came  over  to  take  care  of  me
when I had morning sickness so bad I couldn’t get
out  of  bed.  It  was  Shel  who  showed  me  how  to
change  a  diaper,  how  to  hold  a  baby.  And  it  was
definitely Shel who showed me how to be”—I lean
forward and shout—“a mom!”

“Yeah, I know Shel is perfect,” she hisses,

cutting her eyes to Shel, and I feel my dad tense.
“Always so perfect, so perfect she gave up her first
kid. Couldn’t even hack being a mom.”

“Do not fucking go there,” Dad rumbles.
“When Dad told me that he and Shel had given

up their baby, you know what I thought?” I ask
quietly, and my mom looks at me. “I thought, God,
why didn’t my mom give me up? She didn’t even
want me. At least if she had done that, I could have
had a mom who cared about me.”

“Gorgeous.” Dad’s pain-filled voice cuts through

me, and I look up at him.

“I love you, Dad. You’ve been the best dad a girl

could  ask  for.  You  mean  everything  to  me.
Everything.  And  I  would  have  been  lost  without
you.  Please  don’t  doubt  that.  Please  know  how
much  you  mean  to  me  and  how  grateful  I  am  that
I’m your daughter.” I watch his eyes close then feel
his  hand  wrap  around  mine.  Having  his  love  and
strength  is  something  I’ve  been  lucky  enough  to

feel  my  whole  life.  I  look  at  my  mom.  “All  I  ever
wanted was for you to love me, for you to put me
first.  You  never  did  that.  Everything  has  always
been  about  you,  about  how  you  feel  or  what  you
want.”

“This is fucked up,” she hisses.
“No, this—you. Showing up at my house is

fucked  up,  especially  when  we  haven’t  spoken  in
forever.  You  picking  up  your  granddaughter  you
don’t  even  know  and  acting  the  way  you  did  is
fucked  up.  You  having  the  guts  to  give  Shel—a
woman  you  should  be  thanking—dirty  looks  is
fucked up. I hope you get yourself together. I really
hope you do. But I don’t want you in my life or my
baby’s life, and you are really not welcome to stay
here in my home.”

“I can’t believe you’re talking to me like this.”
“You need to leave,” Denver says, and she looks

at him, her face turning ugly.

“I’m guessing you standing here means she’s

finally giving you a shot. I hope you know that
without her husband dying, you wou—”

“Get out!” Shel shouts, and my eyes go to her. I

see she has tears running down her cheeks. “Get
out of this house right now before I put you out.”

“Yeah, like you could do that.”
“Don’t make me prove it to you,” Shel says

calmly, and I tense when my mom aggressively
steps toward her. “Please. Please do it. You need to

learn a lesson.”

“Right.” Mom stops, resting her hands on her

hips. “Like you could teach me anything.”

“I could show you a thing or two about love,

about  the  power  of  it  and  about  the  strength  of  a
mother’s  devotion.  That’s  my  girl.”  Shell  points  at
me. “Mine. And I will go down swinging to protect
her,  every  part  of  her,  even  her  heart.  You  might
not  care  about  anyone  but  yourself,  but  I  love  her
with  everything  in  me.  I’m  grateful  for  every
second  I  get  with  her,  and  I  hate  that  you’ve  had
any role in her life.”

“She’s not yours. She’s mine,” Mom seethes.
“You’re wrong. You might have given birth to

her,  but  she’s  right.”  She  points  at  me  again.  “It’s
been  me  by  her  side  through  everything,  and  me
who will continue to be by her side until the day I
die. Honestly, I feel sorry for you, because one day
—tomorrow or years from now—when you’re lying
on your deathbed, you’re going to realize what you
let  get  away.  You’re  going  to  see  you  have  no  one
to  blame  but  yourself  for  the  fact  that  your  kids
don’t  want  anything  to  do  with  you  and  that  you
spent your life alone.”

“This is done,” Denver cuts in before my mom

can reply. “You need to leave.” He picks up her
bag, opens the door, and throws it out onto the
porch, where I hear it land then roll down the steps.

“Did you just throw my bag?” she squawks, her

voice flabbergasted.

“Get out, or I’ll put you in cuffs and escort you

to the station,” Dad says, and my mom, who has
never really been my mom, narrows her eyes on
him.

“Fuck this,” she mutters, giving Shel another

glare before she stomps to the still dark living room
and grabs her coat. She doesn’t say anything as she
goes, but she does give each of us one last ugly
look before she’s gone.

“Gorgeous,” Dad whispers, wrapping his arms

around me as I stare at the closed door. “Why
didn’t you tell me?”

“Dad—”
“Fuck, why didn’t you tell me you felt like

that?”

“Because you made up for her not being around,

and then I had Shel and it didn’t matter anymore,” I
confess, and his arms around me squeeze. “I love
you, Dad. Please know that, and please know what
I felt then, I only felt for a little while.”

“I wish you never felt it at all.”
“I know.” I look up at him then over at Shel. “Is

it too late to start calling you mom?” At my
question, her chin wobbles and she shakes her
head. “Good, I love you, Mom.”

“I know, honey.” She joins my dad and me, and

we make room as our arms go around each other in
a huddle. I look over Shel’s shoulder at Denver, and

the intensity of his gaze makes my heart pick up
speed. He’s proud of me. God, yes, I love him.

“I need to go get Ly. I’m sure she’s worried.”
“Right,” Dad mumbles, kissing my forehead

before letting me go. And then his arms go tight
around Shel, who I hear let out a quiet sob.

When an arm goes around my waist, I look up at

Denver and give him a watery smile, but he doesn’t
smile back. He touches his mouth to mine then
leads me out of the house, leaving Dad and Shel
behind.

“So fucking proud of you, baby.” He stops me

just outside my dad’s front door with his hands on
my hips and his face close to mine. “So fucking
proud.”

“Thank you.”
“You feel better?”
My eyes slide close. I do. I didn’t know I needed

that until it happened and was done. I feel like a
weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I know
that part of me being able to do what I just did had
to do with having Denver and my parents at my
back.

“Baby?”
“I feel relieved it’s done and I don’t have to

worry  or  think  about  her  anymore.  I  will  probably
be  sad  from  time  to  time  when  I  look  at  Ly  and
think about what she’s missing out on, but Shel was
right.  Those  are  her  regrets,  not  mine,  and  if  she

can live with that, then oh well. Her loss.”

“I’m here, whenever you need to talk through

that.”

“I know.” I lift up on my tiptoes as he drags me

up his body.

“Let’s get our girl.”
I smile as he places his lips against mine, and

then we go pick up our girl, who is not traumatized
by what happened and is just happy to have Denver
and me together.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

“BEDTIME, LY,” BRE SAYS, SHUTTING off the
TV and uncurling herself from my side on the
couch, where I placed her after we all ate dinner
before we started watching one of Lyra’s movies.

Ly, who’s lying against the other side of my

chest, lifts her head to look at her mom. “But
mom…?”

“No buts, baby. You know your bedtime, and

you have to get up to go to Grandma Joe’s in the
morning.”

“Five more minutes?” Ly tries, and I fight back a

smile.

“No. Now come on.” Bre stands, and Ly lets out

a huff, giving me a hug before hoping off the couch
to take her mom’s hand. “I’ll be back.”

“Sure, baby.” I lift my chin and watch both girls

disappear.

I go to the kitchen and clean up the dishes from

dinner, wrap up the pasta bake, and place it in the
fridge before I grab a beer. I lean back against the
counter  and  take  a  drink  while  I  listen  to  the  girls
upstairs,  and  I  smile  when  I  hear  them  laugh.  I’ve
been in this house more times than I can count, had
dinner  here  with  Bre  and  Ly  hundreds  of  times
since  Ly  was  born,  helped  Bre  clean  up  dishes  or
put  Ly  to  bed.  But  in  all  those  times,  I  never  felt
what I’m feeling right now. Happy, complete, full.

“Denver!” I hear shouted by both girls, and I

move to the bottom of the stairs and find them
looking down at me.

“What’s up?”
“Time to tuck me in and read a story,” Lyra says

in a duh-tone, and I laugh.

“I’m coming.” I drop off my beer in the kitchen

then head up the stairs. I find both girls in Lyra’s
room when I hit the top floor, Lyra in bed and Bre
sitting on the edge with a book in her hand. I move
to the bed, kiss the top of Lyra’s head, and tuck the
blankets around her.

“I love you. I’m glad you’re home.” She hugs

me, and I hold her closer, tighter. Home. Christ, she
and her mom have been my home forever, but now
I get to be that to them too.

“Love you, gorgeous. Have sweet dreams.” I

kiss her forehead once more then let her go and
stand by the door. I lean against the wall and listen
to Bre read, and halfway through the book, I notice

Lyra’s eyes haven fallen shut and her breathing has
evened out. “She’s out, baby.”

Bre looks at me then Ly and sets the book aside.

She  kisses  her  cheek  then  shuts  off  her  lamp,  and
when she makes it across the room to me, she takes
my  hand  as  I  let  her  lead  me  back  downstairs.  I
know  I’m  staying  the  night.  I’m  just  not  sure  how
Bre  will  feel  about  it.  My  guess—she  will  tell  me
that  we  should  wait  so  Lyra  isn’t  confused  if  she
wakes up to find me in her mom’s bed.

“Do you want the bathroom first, or want me to

go first?” she asks, and I look around, realizing
we’re in her bedroom and she’s digging through her
dresser for something to wear to bed.

“You go first. I’m gonna shut the house down,” I

say, and she nods before disappearing into the
bathroom. I don’t question it. I learned to never
look a gift horse in the mouth.

When I make it back into the bedroom, she’s in

middle  of  her  bed  with  her  back  to  the  headboard
and  the  blankets  over  her  lap.  I  shut  off  the
overhead  light,  since  she  has  the  lamps  on,  then
head  into  the  bathroom.  I  use  the  toothbrush  she
left out on the counter for me and strip down to my
boxers. I open the door and see she’s on the phone
with  who  I  immediately  know  is  her  twin  brother,
just  from  her  side  of  the  conversation.  I  go  to  the
right  side  of  the  bed  and  climb  in,  pulling  her
against  my  torso,  which  she  hasn’t  taken  her  eyes

off of.

“Love you too, and tell Hunter I love him,” she

says quietly, running her fingers down the center of
my abs and the trail of dark hair there. “Yeah, see
you both soon.”

She drops her forehead to my pec and I look

down at her, seeing her hair spread out over my
chest and abs. “You okay?”

“Steven is pissed. He hasn’t spoken to mom in

forever either, and he can’t believe she had the guts
to  show  up  here  after  everything  that’s  happened
and act like things were all good.” She looks up at
me.  “He  and  Hunter  are  coming  next  weekend.
Shel—I mean Mom—told them about you and me.
I  think  they  want  to  come  see  for  themselves  that
everything is okay with us.”

“They

love

you.

Them

coming

understandable,” I say, looking into her eyes and
trying to gauge her reaction.

“Yeah, but… um, will you be okay with that?”
“With them coming into town to check on you?”

She nods. “Yeah, baby, you know I get along with
your brothers. It’s not a big deal,” I assure, and she
bites her bottom lip. “What?”

“It’s just so odd how everything seems to be

falling into place.”

“That worries you?”
“Yes… no… I don’t know. It just seems like I’m

going to wake up and this will all be a dream.”

My fingers slide through her soft hair and curve

around the back of her neck. “This is not a dream.
This is definitely not going to end. This is the way
it’s supposed to be.”

I watch her eyes soften then slide closed. “Ly

wants to call you Dad.”

My stomach muscles bunch and my fingers

around the back of her neck tighten at her words.
“Pardon?”

“I… Pen told her we are in love. And I guess she

heard Dad say you have always been a daddy to
her. She asked me tonight when I was making
dinner if she could call you that.”

“Fuck.” Heat hits my chest and spreads through

every limb, every cell, every single inch of me. I
thought I had everything with Bre giving herself to
me, but hearing Ly wants to call me Daddy means I
not only have everything. I have it all.

“Denver.” Her hand slides up to my jaw, and I

focus on her, seeing she’s worried.

“I’m down with that, if it’s what she wants.” I

haul her up my body until we are face-to-face.
“You okay with that?”

“I am. I just….”
I know what she’s thinking, even without her

saying it. I know she’s worried Ly giving that to me
will mean she’s going to forget Gabe. “We—you
and I both—will make sure she never forgets him,
Bre. But I’m fucking honored she wants me to have

that title.”

I watch her eyes slide closed. “She loves you.”
“I love her too.”
“I know you do,” she confirms, opening her eyes

meeting my gaze. “Please tell me all of this isn’t too
good to be true.”

“It’s not, baby. Just stick with me and I promise

you’ll see that for yourself.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers, her soft

hands sliding down my chest.

“No you’re not,” I agree, rolling her to her back.

“You’re mine now, and no fucking way am I letting
you go.”

“Good.” She lifts her head, pressing her mouth to

mine.

I kiss her back then do a whole lot of other

things to her. Only when we are both exhausted do
I tuck her against me and fall asleep with her in my
arms, right where she belongs.

Right where she will always belong.

_______________

“Fuck,  man.  I  can’t  believe  it.  I  heard  it  from  Lu,
who  has  been  spreading  that  shit  wide,  and  I  still
didn’t  think  it  was  true,”  Lincoln,  my  best  friend
since  I  can  remember,  mutters,  watching  Bre  and
Lyra  disappear  into  the  restroom  at  the  restaurant

we are having lunch at together. “Happy for you.”

“Not as happy as I am.” I pick up my beer,

taking a swig. It’s been a week since Bre and I got
back into town, and since then, we haven’t spent a
night  away  from  each  other.  I’ve  woken  each
morning with her in my arms, ate breakfast with her
and Lyra, and then worked while she worked, going
back  to  her  and  Lyra’s  at  the  end  of  the  day.
Tonight  will  be  the  first  night  I’ll  be  gone,  since  I
have  to  head  out  for  an  opener.  I’m  not  looking
forward to being away, but I know when I get back
into town she’ll be waiting for me, so it’s all good.

“When are you getting married?” It’s a joke—I

know by his smile he’s just teasing—but when I
answer, it’s not.

“I got her ring. Just waiting to take her out on the

boat again to ask her. As soon as I can get our
moms to plan it, we’ll get married. I’m not fucking
around with this. I’ve waited long enough. Not
gonna take my time.”

“Christ, you’re going fast.”
“Not fast enough,” I say, and he grins then his

expression shifts.

“Are you moving in with her, or is she moving

into your place?”

“We talked this morning. I’m moving in as soon

as fishing starts to slow down.”

“He lived there,” he states quietly, and I know he

means Gabe. I no longer feel that ever-present

jealousy when it comes to him. I don’t know what
happened to it, but it’s gone.

“Yeah, and he’s gone in a way he’s never coming

back.” His expression shifts at my words, filling
with remorse. “She likes living next to her parents,
and Lyra is comfortable there. I’m not asking them
to leave, not when I’m getting everything I want in
the end.”

“Like I said, happy for you, man.” He lifts his

beer toward me.

“And like I said, not as happy as I am.” I watch

Lyra and Bre as they come out of the bathroom and
start toward our table, only to stop when someone
steps between them and us. When I see it’s Gabe’s
father, my muscles bunch. “Fuck.”

Bre told me she talked to Gabe’s mom the day

after we made it back into town. She told her she
wasn’t comfortable with Lyra being so far away for
so long, especially with how young she is. She told
me Patrice wasn’t happy about her decision and
hung up on her. I stand quickly and head across the
mostly empty restaurant.

“You won’t allow us to take our granddaughter

to see her family, but you got no problem shoving a
man who’s not her father down her throat,” I hear
Jack say when I’m close, and my temper flares.

“Step back,” I growl, stepping between him and

Bre.

Jack turns his cold stare on me. “You are not in

this.”

“You’re wrong.” I look back at Bre and then

down to Lyra, who’s hiding behind Bre’s legs.
“Take Lyra and wait in the truck, babe.”

“Come on, you two,” Lincoln says, picking up

Lyra and grabbing Bre’s hand.

“Do not walk away from me,” Jack seethes,

grabbing Bre’s arm tight enough that she flinches in
pain.

I see red. I grab his wrist, squeeze tight until he

releases his hold, and then yank so hard I wouldn’t
be  surprised  if  I  dislocated  his  shoulder.  “Do  not
touch  her,  ever.”  I  grip  his  wrist.  “Not  fucking
ever.”  I  look  at  Lincoln.  “Get  them  out  of  here.”
He  nods  and  leads  them  away,  and  I  wait  until
they’re  gone  to  look  at  Jack,  not  letting  up  on  the
hold I have on him.

“Get your hands off me.” He jerks away, his face

red and pissed off.

“Stay away from them, Jack. Unless Bre

contacts you, you do not approach them again,
especially not like you just did.”

“That’s my son’s wife and my granddaughter.”
“Your son is gone. That’s my woman and my girl.

You are not a part of Lyra’s life. She doesn’t even
really know you or your wife. You want to change
that, I’m sure Bre would love for you to get to
know Lyra, but you do not get up in her face and
spout bullshit.”

“Fuck you,” he spits, his eyes scanning the

restaurant before he storms off.

“You okay, Den?”
I look at Marty, the owner, and lift my chin. I

pull out my wallet, drop some cash on the table,
and take off to check on my girls.

“Everything all right?” Lincoln asks, meeting me

at the front of my truck.

“Not sure,” I reply, looking through the

windshield and meeting Bre’s worried gaze.

“You still heading out this evening?”
“Probably not.” After that scene, I’m not exactly

thrilled about the idea of my girls being home
without me there. “I’ll touch base with Zach and go
from there.”

“Let me know. And if you need anything, I’ll

have my sat phone on.”

“Thanks.” We say a quick goodbye before I

swing in behind the wheel.

“Denver?” Bre starts, breaking the silence as I

pull out of the parking lot and head for the house.

I jerk my head toward the back seat. “Wait until

we get home, baby.”

“Right,” she murmurs.
I grab her hand, lacing our fingers together and

trying  to  get  my  temper  under  control.  “You  okay,
gorgeous?”  I  ask  Lyra,  meeting  her  gaze  in  the
mirror,  and  she  nods,  but  I  can  tell  she’s  confused
by  what  just  happened.  Maybe  even  scared,  and

that does not make me happy.

When we arrive at the house, I carry Lyra inside

and Bre sets her up with her iPad in the living room
before we head to the kitchen to talk without her
hearing.

“You need to call your dad, baby,” I tell Bre, and

her brow furrows.

“Why?”
“He needs to know what happened, so he can

keep an eye on things, especially if I’m gonna be
out on the water.”

“Jack wouldn’t do anything to me or Lyra,

Denver.” She sighs, grabbing a soda from the fridge
and opening it.

“I watched him.” Her eyes meet mine. “I

watched him grab you, baby, watched you wince in
pain. And I don’t want to see right now, because
I’m barely hanging on to my control, but my guess
is you got bruises from him on your arm.”

“Denver.”
“Call your dad and tell him he needs to come

over.”

She studies me for a long moment then nods and

grabs her phone. Dialing, she then puts it to her ear.

“Dad, I need you to come to the house,” she

starts, but she goes quiet and her face pales. “Yeah,
see you soon.” She hangs up. “Dad’s on his way.”

“Okay, but what’s that look on your face?”
“Dad said he was already on his way over,

because he has something to talk to me about.”

“Talk to me,” I urge when she drops her eyes to

the counter.

“Dad got a call from Maxine, who works at the

airport. She told him that if Lyra is still leaving with
Jack and Patrice tomorrow, they need to have a
notarized letter from me along with her birth
certificate.”

“Pardon?”
“She said they might not have in issue leaving

town with Lyra, but coming back with her, the
airlines will want to see that letter before they let
her get on a plane.”

I stare, trying to wrap my mind around what

she’s saying. “Are you telling me that after you told
them you didn’t feel comfortable with her leaving
with them, they were gonna just fucking take her?”

Fear fills her eyes, and my jaw clenches along

with my fists. “They were going to take my baby
from me.” She covers her mouth with her fingers.

Fuck.
I go to her, gathering her in my arms. I hold her

tightly against my chest, trying hard not to crush
her. I’ve never been as pissed as I am right now.
“Need you to breathe, baby.”

“I can’t. They were going to take my baby, even

after I told them they couldn’t.”

“I know, but you need to pull it together. We

need to check on Lyra and make sure she’s good.

Then you need to get ready to talk to your dad. You
need to press charges or get a restraining order
against them.”

“What the hell is wrong with them?” she

whispers, looking into my eyes as hers fill with
tears.

“I don’t know.” I rest my forehead to hers. “I do

know it didn’t happen, that it will never fucking
happen.”

“Denver.”
“Go sit with Ly and wait for your dad, baby. I

wanna call my mom and dad to give them a heads
up. I also need to call Lincoln to tell him I won’t be
going out on this opener.”

“But you have to—”
“I need to be here.” I press a light kiss to her

mouth, cutting her off. “I’m not leaving.”

She drops her forehead to my chest. “Okay.”
“Okay.” I lift her head, touch my mouth to hers,

and  give  her  a  squeeze  before  I  let  her  go.  When
she’s  gone,  I  pull  out  my  phone  from  my  back
pocket and call my dad and mom to let them know
what  happened.  After  I  hang  up  the  phone  with
them, I call Lincoln to tell him I won’t be going out
on the opener, and then I head to the living room to
be with both my girls.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

SITTING  ON  THE  COUCH,  CURLED  into
Denver’s  side  with  his  fingers  moving  soothingly
under  the  edge  of  my  tee,  I  watch  my  baby,  her
eyes  on  the  TV  as  her  head  rests  against  Denver’s
chest. I close my eyes and silently thank God. If we
didn’t  live  in  such  a  small  town,  and  if  Maxine
didn’t call my dad to give him a friendly heads up, I
might not have known about Gabe’s parents’ plans
until it was too late.

I don’t even want to think about what I would

have done if they had gotten on a plane with Ly. I
know  I  would’ve  lost  my  mind.  I  also  know  I
would’ve  stopped  at  nothing  to  bring  her  home.
When my dad drove out to their property with two
other  officers,  neither  Patricia  nor  Jack  tried  to
deny they were planning on kidnapping Ly to take
her  with  them  to  Nevada.  Though  they  didn’t
consider  it  kidnapping.  They  told  my  dad,  in  their

words—they were her grandparents; it was their
right to spend time with her, and they were tired of
me keeping them from their grandchild.

When my dad told me what they said, I was

pissed—or more pissed than I already was. I never
shut  them  out  of  Ly’s  life.  Even  after  some  of  the
crap they pulled, I didn’t try to keep her from them.
They  have  always  been  welcome  at  my  house  and
invited  to  every  family  event  I’ve  planned.  It  hurt
that  I  had  to  file  a  restraining  order  against  them,
and I pray to God we are able to find a way to work
things out in the future. Not for me, but for Ly.

I might not understand them, but they are a piece

of Gabe, and I want her to know all of him. I want
her  to  be  able  to  ask  them  any  question  she  might
have. I want her to know how her dad grew up, and
I want her to understand how much she would have
meant to him. For now though, the most important
thing  is  protecting  her  from  anyone  who  would
cause  her  harm,  even  if  it  is  just  emotionally.  And
what  they  wanted  to  do  would  have  caused  her  as
much pain as it caused me.

“Baby.” I come out of my head at Denver’s

voice, tip my head back, and focus on his
handsome face. “Lyra’s out. Wanna wake her, or
just take her up and tuck her into bed?”

My eyes go to Ly and I see he’s right. She’s out,

with her hand curled under her cheek on Denver’s
chest.

“Just bed,” I murmur, and he nods, dropping his

mouth  to  mine  for  a  quick  kiss  before  he  moves,
adjusting  Ly  in  his  arms,  and  stands.  I  follow  him
up  the  stairs  then  carefully  change  Ly  out  of  her
clothes,  into  a  nightgown,  and  tuck  her  in.  She
doesn’t stir; then again, she’s always been a heavy
sleeper.  I  kiss  her  forehead  then  stand  back  to
watch Denver tuck her blankets tighter around her
and  smooth  her  hair  back  from  her  forehead,
studying her for a long moment before he turns out
her lamp. I make sure her nightlight is on then leave
the room.

When we hit the bedroom on the first floor, I

don’t  hesitate,  stripping  out  of  my  clothes  and
climbing  into  bed.  I  lie  back  with  my  head  on  my
pillow  and  stare  at  the  ceiling  while  he  crawls  in
next to me, and then sigh when he pulls me against
his hard frame.

“You okay?”
“I know I should be more freaked than I am, but

surprisingly, I’m all right,” I answer, lifting up to
look into his eyes as he rests back against the
headboard.

“You know she’s safe.”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “She’s safe.”
“She’ll stay that way, Bre. I promise you that.”
“I know.” I start to rest my head against his

chest, but he doesn’t let me.

His hand wraps into my hair, keeping my gaze

prisoner. “I’d never let anything happen to either of
you.”

My body melts against his as I stare at his

handsome face and beautiful eyes. God, I love him,
and I know without a doubt that he would do
anything for me and Ly. He would protect us from
anyone and anything.

“Bre?”
“Give me a minute,” I whisper wanting to soak

in this moment, wanting to memorize this feeling.

He doesn’t give me a minute. He pulls my mouth

to his then rolls me to my back, kissing me until I’m
breathless.

“I love you,” he says quietly, tracing my brow

with his finger.

“I know,” I reply, just as softly.
“You don’t, you have no idea how much I love

you, how much you mean to me.”

I don’t get the chance to reply. I don’t get the

chance  to  tell  him  I  know  how  much  he  loves  me
because I feel his love deep in inside me, filling me
up  with  life  and  giving  me  everything  I  ever
needed.  He  cuts  off  my  words  when  his  mouth
covers  mine  then  steals  my  breath  when  he  slides
into  me.  When  we  both  become  connected  in
everyway  possible,  I  whisper  “I  love  you”  against
his lips and pray he knows I love him just as much
as he loves me.

That he knows my heart has always been his.

PILOGUE

_______________

Six months later

“ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?”

At my dad’s question, I look up at his handsome

face and smile. “Yes.”

“Then let’s go, gorgeous.” He tucks my hand

into the crook of his arm and I pull in a breath.

I watch the double doors open in front of me,

and  then  I  smile  at  Ly  when  she  grins  at  me  over
her  shoulder.  She  looks  adorable  in  her  baby  blue
princess  dress,  with  a  rope  of  flowers  around  her
head and ribbons running down through her hair.

“Is it time, Mama?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Finally.” She giggles, walking out the doors and

tossing out flower petals as she goes.

I pull my eyes from my baby and they land on

Denver at the end of the aisle. He looks handsome

in  his  suit,  his  hands  casually  at  his  sides  and  his
expression  soft  on  our  girl  as  she  heads  his  way.  I
fight the urge to cry as Lyra makes it to him calling
him  daddy  and  he  picks  her  up,  giving  her  a  kiss.
“Dad, can someone be too happy?”

At my question, my dad stops us abruptly,

turning me so we are facing each other.

“You deserve this.” He rests his hand against my

cheek, and I hear people start to whisper in the
crowd. “You deserve all the happiness in the
world.”

“Thanks, Dad.”
“You’re going to be happy for the rest of your

life. I know in my gut that Denver will see to that.
He will work himself to the bone to give my baby
everything she deserves, and in return, I know
you’re going to give that all back to him tenfold.”

“You’re going to make me cry.” I feel my bottom

lip wobble, but instead of crying, I gasp in surprise
when I’m suddenly not on my feet but up in the air,
and Denver is walking down the aisle, holding me
against his chest. “What are you doing?” I breathe,
catching a few surprised looks from the people
lined up in the pews.

“We’re getting married,” he states, setting me on

my feet in front of him, and I blink.

“I was having a moment with my dad,” I tell him

—something I’m sure he saw for himself.

He captures my face between his hands then

leans in so he’s all I can see. “You can have your
moment after you say ‘I do’ to me.”

I’m not surprised by his declaration or even his

caveman move. He’s been pushing for this moment
since the night I shared that Ly wanted to call him
Dad.  Our  relationship  has  been  moving  at  light
speed  for  months.  First,  it  was  him  moving  in,  and
then  it  was  him  putting  a  ring  on  my  finger.  Then
after  that,  it  was  mostly  him,  not  me,  planning  our
wedding  with  our  moms  who  were  both  scarily
happy that Denver and I were going to say “I do.”

“I love you,” I murmur, seeing the look of

determination  in  his  gaze.  “I  always  have  and  I
always  wil—”  My  words  are  cut  off  when  his
mouth crashes down on mine, and he kisses me so
hard  and  so  deep  I  forget  where  we  are  and  what
we are supposed to be doing.

“Um.” A throat clears. “You two might wanna

wait  until  the  pastor  says  you  can  kiss  the  bride,”
Lincoln  cuts  into  the  moment,  and  I  smile  against
Denver’s  mouth  then  giggle  when  he  growls  into
mine,  holding  me  closer  against  his  large  strong
frame.

“You ready?” he asks, not taking his eyes off

mine, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve been ready,” I answer, and I am, because I

know  my  dad’s  right.  Denver  will  spend  his  life
working  at  making  me  happy,  something  he  does
just  by  existing.  And  I  will  do  everything  to  give

him the same.

_______________

Two years after that

“You’re  going  to  spoiling  him,”  I  tell  Denver,
walking into the nursery, where I catch him picking
up  our  sleeping  two-month-old  son,  Leo.  I  didn’t
choose  his  name;  Denver  did.  He  said  he  wanted
our kids and us to be connected through the stars. I
loved  that  he  wanted  that,  so  I  didn’t  fight  him  on
naming our son.

“He’s already spoiled.” He holds him against his

chest, kissing the top of his dark head.

He’s not wrong. Between his big sister, his dad,

my parents, his aunts, his uncles, and me, the kid
has never been put down for more than a few
minutes.

“Are you happy?” I ask, wrapping my arms

around the back of Denver’s waist while placing
my face close to Leo’s to study him like I’ve done a
million times. He looks like his dad, almost exactly,
right down to his beautiful eyes.

“Baby, you know I’m happy.” He kisses my

forehead  then  encircles  me  with  his  arm,  now
holding  our  slowly  waking  son.  He  leads  us  to  the
kitchen  then  lets  me  go  so  he  can  greet  Ly  with  a
kiss  to  her  forehead.  I  take  a  moment  to  study  my

family then pull myself together so I don’t cry. I
have it all. I have everything I could have ever
wished for. I’m living a dream, and I’m so grateful
for every moment.

_______________

Twelve years later

“Mom,  Dad,  Scott’s  here.  We’re  going  to  head
out!”  Ly  shouts  through  the  house,  and  Denver’s
eyes  meet  mine  and  darken.  Pissed.  Great,  he’s
pissed. Then again, since around the time Ly started
taking an interest in boys, he’s been pissed a lot.

“Honey, come say goodbye properly!” I shout

back, and Denver’s jaw clenches while his fingers
that are wrapped around my hip dig in.

“I’m sorry.” Ly rushes into the living room,

where Denver and I are sprawled out on the couch,
me  mostly  on  top  of  him,  watching  a  movie.  “We
have  to  go.  Dinner  is  going  to  start  soon,  and  we
can’t  be  late.”  She  rushes  over,  kissing  Denver’s
cheek  then  mine.  Dinner,  dinner  with  Gabe’s
parents  who  took  their  time  coming  around  but
eventually realized that they didn’t want to miss out
on  their  granddaughter’s  life.  Unlike  my  own
mother  who  I  haven’t  spoken  to  since  the  night  I
told  her  to  get  out  of  my  house,  they  have  been  a
steady fixture in Ly’s life since she was around six

years old. I’m happy they are involved. Happy that
Ly has grown up with so much love around her.
The best is Ly has had a chance to know the people
who raised her father and gotten a chance to know
him through them.

“Scott’s not gonna come in and say hello?”

Denver asks, pulling me from my thoughts, and I
look at Ly as she rolls her eyes in my direction.

“Dad, you know he’s not going to come in to say

hello. The last time you saw him, you told him to
stay out of your house and to never show his face
again.”

“I caught you two making out.”
“He was kissing me goodnight, and it’s not like

we were on the couch half naked. We weren’t even
in the house! We were standing on the front porch.”

“He had his hands on you,” Denver continues,

and I fight back a smile.

“He did not!” Ly squawks, her cheeks turning

red.

He totally did have his hands on her. He was

grabbing her bottom. I saw it myself. But they were
not making out; at least, not when I saw them. Not
to  say  she  hadn’t  made  out  with  him  before.  Scott
and  Ly  have  been  together  for  the  last  four  years.
They’ve  been  together  since  her  freshman  year.
The  funny  thing  is,  Scott  reminds  me  a  lot  of
husband.  Neither  of  them  are  afraid  to  go  after
what they want, and both of them are hardworking

and have good heads on their shoulders. I think all
the likeness is exactly why Denver isn’t very fond
of Scott.

“Honey, have fun and make sure you knock on

our door when you get home,” I say, ending this
now before it’s too late.

“I will. Love you, Mom. And Dad, even though

you’re crazy, I love you too.” She gives us a smile
before disappearing out the door.

“I hate that kid,” Denver mutters, and I laugh,

dropping my face to his chest. “It’s not funny.”

“You hate him because he’s just like you,” I

state, and he growls, rolling me until I’m under him
and his heavy weight is pressing me back into the
couch.

“Shut up,” he orders before his mouth covers

mine kissing me hard.

“God, gross. Can you two act like normal

parents and flipping hate each other or something?”
Leo  asks,  coming  into  the  living  room,  and  I  look
over  Denver’s  shoulder  at  our  son—our  very
handsome  son—who  is  only  twelve  but  already  a
heartbreaker.

“You don’t like it, you’ve got a room you can

hang in,” Denver says what he’s been saying for
years, and I start to laugh again, seeing a smile curl
the edge of his gorgeous mouth. God, he’s still hot
to this day. He’s still the hottest guy I have ever
seen, and he’s mine. All mine.

“Whatever,” Leo mutters before disappearing,

and  I  tuck  my  face  into  my  husband’s  chest  and
laugh  hard  when  he  starts  to  chuckle.  When  our
laughter  ends  and  his  eyes  meet  mine  I  know  he
was right years ago. Who knows if we would have
ended up taking each other for granted if he asked
me out like he planned on doing at that party when
we  were  both  just  kids.  Who  knows  what  would
have happened between us if things didn’t work out
like  they  did.  Having  him  and  everything  that  we
have shared over the years I cherish every second,
appreciate everything he’s given me and never take
a moment with him for granted. Things worked out
exactly  like  they  were  meant  to  and  for  that  I’m
forever grateful.

_______________

ENVER

Years and years later

Standing out on the back deck, a beer in my hand,
my eyes pointed up at the night sky, I hear the door
slide open and I meet my wife’s gaze. Still
beautiful, even after all these years. I’ve never seen
anyone more beautiful than her.

“Honey, are you going to come in? The kids and

grandbabies are going to be leaving soon.”

“Be there in just a minute.”
Her head tips to the side. “Are you okay?”
I search her eyes. I’m not okay. I haven’t been

just okay in a long fucking time, because since the
moment she became mine, I’ve been living a
dream. “I’m good, baby. Just need a minute,” I say
as she comes to me, resting her hands on my
stomach, studying me.

“You sure you’re all right?”
“I’m sure.” I wrap one hand around her hip and

dip my face toward her for a kiss. She doesn’t make
me wait she leans up on her toes, touching her
mouth to mine.

“Okay, come in soon,” she orders before letting

me go and walking away.

I watch her until she disappears back inside,

closing  the  door  behind  herself.  Once  I’m  alone
again,  I  tip  my  head  back  up  to  the  cloudless  dark
sky  and  wait  for  it  to  happen.  Just  like  every  year
on  this  day,  I  close  my  eyes  after  I  see  brightness
streak  across  the  dark,  only  instead  of  making  a
wish,  I  give  a  silent  thank  you  because  for  me  all
my wishes have already come true.

Goodbye, Cordova. I’ll miss you, but who knows?

Maybe I’ll be back again one day.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

First I have to give thanks to God, because without
him none of this would be possible.

Second  I  want  to  thank  my  husband.  I  love  you
now  and  always—thank  you  for  believing  in  me
even when I don’t always believe in myself. To my
beautiful  son,  you  bringing  such  joy  into  my  life,
and I’m so honored to be your mom.

Thank  you  Selma  and  Sejla  for  demanding  that  I
write  this  story,  and  for  offering  your  unwavering
encouragement,  and  friendship  along  the  way.  I
love you girls.

To every blog and reader, thank you for taking the
time  to  read  and  share  my  books.  There  would
never  be  enough  ink  in  the  world  to  acknowledge
you  all,  but  I  will  forever  be  grateful  to  each  and
every one of you.

I started this writing journey after I fell in love with
reading,  like  thousands  of  authors  before  me.  I
wanted to give people a place to escape where the
stories  were  funny,  sweet,  and  hot  and  left  you
feeling  good.  I  have  loved  sharing  my  stories  with

OTHER BOOKS BY AURORA

ROSE REYNOLDS

The Until Series

Until November

Until Trevor

Until Lilly

Until Nico

Second Chance Holiday

Underground Kings Series

Assumption

Obligation

Distraction

Until Her Series

Until July

Until June

Until Ashlyn

Until Harmony

Until Him Series

Until Jax

Until Sage

Until Cobi (Coming soon)

Shooting Stars Series

Fighting to Breathe

Wide-Open Spaces

One Last Wish

Fluke my life series

Running into love

Stumbling into love

Tossed into love

Drawn Into Love(Coming soon)

Standalones

Falling Fast

Alpha Law CA ROSE

Justified LiabilityFinders Keepers

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Aurora Rose Reynolds is a New York Times and
USA Today bestselling author whose wildly popular
series include Until, Until Him, Until Her, and
Underground Kings.

Her writing career started in an attempt to get the

outrageously alpha men who resided in her head to leave
her alone and has blossomed into an opportunity to
share her stories with readers all over the world.

For more information on Reynolds’s latest books or

to connect with her, contact her on

To order signed books and find out the latest news,

visit her at

Website

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