Chapter 1

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 1

Realizing there wasn’t time to move, her heart began

to pound furiously. She could feel her heartbeats,

knock hard and fast against her chest cavity as though

the organ wanted to escape from the impending

disaster. Panic swelled inside the woman’s brain

petrifying her movements with fear.
Ominously announcing its’ approach by the rumble of

its’ wheels on the ground beneath her, the wagon

loomed closer becoming more vivid every second it

raced forward. Julia Carwood, wide eyed and too

scared to breathe, resolutely braced herself for what

she figured were her last minutes on earth.
“Hey there,” was all she heard, along with the loud

screaming of horses and the screech of a side board

brake; then darkness, shock and the inevitable freezing

of time in which Julia’s mind closed expecting imminent

death. As she waited to see if the Angels of Glory were

going to appear before her, she felt something warm

and comforting envelop her. For a moment, she

thought it was the peace of heaven. Then, in a matter

of seconds regaining what senses had returned, she

realized she was not only alive, but coated with an

odorous smelling substance very similar to the material

her Uncle Paddy put in the gardens at his home.
Mortification engulfed Julia, not to mention the smell.

Unable to move, she continued to kneel with her hat

plastered to her head. A covering of the horrible

material formed on what remaining brim her hat had

creating a waterfall that fell in bunches to a nicely cut

suit.

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Dust created from the near-miss accident assailed her

nostrils and eyes. Trying to hold her breath, but

coughing instead from the smell and the dust, Julia

tried valiantly to regain her wits. Slowly raising

trembling gloved hands to her mouth to cover her

coughing, she finally regained her composure, then

looking down at her suit, which was now obviously

ruined, she started to delicately wipe the oozing mess

from her lap.
Her body jumped as a manly voice, edged with fear

and frustration, penetrated the shock that seemed to

petrify her. “What are you doing kneeling on the street

like that? Woman, you could have been killed. Can I

help you up?”
He stood over her while his pulse hammered wildly in

his head. His breathing, coming in short spurts, was

deep and raspy which caused his wide chest to rise and

fall with each panicked respiration. Fear painted his

eyes and he began shaking when he thought of what

could have happened. He prodded the woman once

more who continued to kneel, staring at the ground.

“Are you ok? Are you hurt?”
He thought he saw her move slightly. Lifting his head

to the sky, he rubbed the back of his neck and then

dropped his hands to his sides waiting impatiently for a

response that wasn't long in coming. When it did, he

wasn’t sure he was hearing right.
“Do I have you to thank for this?” Her voice was as icy

as a cold Montana morning; husky and low toned.

Sultry would have been the word for it if he had, had a

notion to think of it. Raising a round dust covered face

to him, she accused him with her incredibly clear green

eyes, which for some reason made him uncomfortable

and very defensive.

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Adjusting his stance to defend himself and thumbing

his hat off his forehead, he looked at her and thought

with mocking assessment. ‘Why she’s just a little thing

for such a sassy mouth. He then replied, in his opinion,

a perfectly wise retort.
“Well ma’am, the way I look at it, people don't just

kneel in the middle of the road waiting to be run over.”

Smiling with raised eyebrows; his expression looked at

her eagerly as if he was expecting her to agree with

him. When she didn't, the smile faded and a hint of a

pout formed in the lower part of his face. He shrugged

his shoulders as if to dismiss the event.
She looked a pitiful sight kneeling in the center of the

road with the cow manure dripping off her hat brim.

Her face, totally dust ridden, looked like a Japanese

Kabuki dancer with red eyes poking through the

makeup and by the way her eyes were glaring at him

all she needed was a sword and a few choice Japanese

words.
Feeling helpless and embarrassed knowing the whole

town was watching the two of them; the man did not

know what to do. Therefore, he did the only thing he

could think of. He bent down to help her. Curious as to

what her reaction would be, the man watched her

expression as he leaned closer to help her. As he did,

the illusion of the Kabuki dancer he had just imagined

must have hit a nerve. His cheeks began to twitch, and

he tightened his lips hoping to stop what he knew was

going to happen.
Standing up, suddenly, he began to snicker. Putting his

hand over his mouth, he desperately tried to hold back

the laughter that threatened to explode. Then begging

forgiveness with his tearing eyes, the small kind of

laugh became a full-fledged guffaw. Within seconds,

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the man bent over contorted in convulsive laughter

that set off the whole town that had gathered to view

the amusing situation.
He figured the woman’s face was turning red as a beet

under all the dust. She looked like she wanted to cry

with embarrassment or crawl into a hole in the ground

and hide there forever. Raising her chin in indignant

pride, she pierced him with a look. Pain and humiliation

revealed themselves in her expressive eyes.
Backing up, chastised by her expression, he stopped

laughing as quickly as he started. Trying to catch his

breath and feeling somewhat responsible for the

horrible predicament she was in, he wanted to help her

but she seemed so unapproachable.
Anger paled the green in her beautiful emerald eyes

and her nostrils flared as she venomously hissed at

him. “What do you find so funny? A crevice in the road

in this God forsaken town tripped me and caused me to

fall.” She flailed her arms about throwing the odorous

material onto his boots. “Did I do something funny?

Maybe you ought to look where you are going and not

drive like a crazy person! For all I know you are a crazy

person laughing at a woman in distress.” Her chin rose

in defiance and her look dared him to challenge her.
His eyes widened in astonishment and he opened his

mouth to say something. Before he could get a word

out, she continued, “I heard that there were some

scoundrels in this country, but I didn’t expect to meet

one so quickly.” At the word scoundrel, the man’s eyes

narrowed and his stance stiffened as though he was

ready to do battle.
Taking off her gloves, she hurriedly began to stuff her

clothes into her bags. He could tell by the clothes she

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was wearing she was a woman of quality, but he was

confused. She had a lot of fire for a tiny genteel lady.
The “scoundrel” looked down at her when he heard her

begin to sniffle. Abdicating his pride to her tears, he

kneeled down to help her wondering what he could do

to console her. “Look Lady, I’m really sorry.” She

ignored him. Wanting to help, he picked up a piece of

clothing that happened to be a pair of frilly white

bloomers. Snickering to himself, he handed them to

Julia. “Lady, I think you better take these.”
Her eyes widened in embarrassment. Travis noticed the

back of her neck not marred by the dust betrayed her

embarrassment. “Ohhh.” Grabbing the clothing from

him, Julia's trembling voice became strident and

hysterical. “You beast. You shouldn't laugh at a woman

in distress, or make fun of her,” she struggled for the

right word, “her private things.” The beautiful eyes

turned glassy as tears rolled down her cheeks creating

pathways through the dust on her face.
Finished with the packing and picking up her bags,

Julia proudly stood up and faced him fully expecting an

apology. She was shorter than he was, but she could

hold him with a stare.

Sensing what she wanted only made him dig his heels

in harder. The man and the woman stood in Battle of

OK Corral stances, profoundly eyeing each other. The

town amused by the scene that was playing out quit

their business for a few minutes of pleasure to watch

this unusual situation.

The man’s eyes held her in a narrowed gaze. Julia

could see their mocking expression. Staring back at

him, she set her face in the sternest posture she could

think of, obviously a bluff, to let him know he did not

intimidate her.

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Amused by her spirit, he had to admit she had a lot of

spunk for a tiny thing. He only meant to lighten up the

situation, when he decided to have some fun. “Well,

ma'am you're right.” His eyes still carried the mocking

intensity but his smile was devastatingly sweet.
Caught off guard she didn't know whether he was

mocking or sincere. She stiffened in anticipation when

he spoke. Sarcasm filled his voice. “I am a scoundrel

but my mama taught me to be a gentleman. Would you

like me to help you?” Taking off his hat, he bowed and

waved it pretending to be a courtier of the 16

century.
People in the audience caught their breath as the tiny

frail body started to tremble with anger. Screeching

and crying, Julia lost all control. “You horrible mean

man.” She was pushing at him. “Get away from me.

You are despicable.” Almost falling again in her

tenacity to push him away, her hat fell off revealing a

crown of startling copper colored hair.
Stepping back from her to avoid her punches, his eyes

opened in fascination. It was the most beautiful hair he

had ever seen. It reminded him of the shiny copper

pieces that his father had in display in one of the

elegant china cabinets he kept in his office. Discovered

through a shipping salvage project during a summer in

Spain, his father would let him play with them when he

was a child.
Shocked out of his reverie, he tried to protect himself

when, out of control, she started racing toward him

crying and screaming. Quickly, he grabbed her wrists

and was holding her at bay when she expertly laid a

kick on his shin.
His breath was hot and much too close as he tried to

keep his voice low enough to speak to her but not loud

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enough for anyone else to hear what he was saying.

Seething with anger at her lack of control, his voice

strained with pain and malice. “Ow, that hurt. You sure

are a she-devil and that temper matches that hair of

yours. Kick me again like that and see what happens! I

don’t normally hit a woman but you are sorely

tempting me.”
“Now you are threatening me as well as man handling

me?” She was strong for a little thing. “You better let

me go.” She wriggled and contorted in her struggle to

get free.
“Not on your life honey. I’m not looking to get kicked

again. Is this your usual modus operandi or is it just

saved for me?” His shin ached as he maneuvered her

into a bear hug.
“I’ll scream for the constable. She struggled to try and

get an arm free to scratch him if she could. He’ll do you

in!”
“Scream all you want, you little hellcat. I’m a great

friend with the sheriff here. Seems to me you attacked

me first. Maybe we ought to see what he says.” He

realized that the comment didn’t work as he thought it

would. She struggled even harder. “Hell, you are a

stubborn mite!” He barely escaped another kick.
“And you,” she tried to slip under his grasp. “You are

the rudest person I have ever met!” Barely able to

contain her, he smelled the slight scent of violets that

filled her non muddied hair and his hands touched

mounds and curves ordinarily out of bounds in a

normal situation. She was rapidly losing strength.

Finally having worked herself into a frenzy her eyes

rolled back and she fainted.

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The townspeople watching didn’t often get this much

entertainment and they were enjoying every minute of

it. Cheering and jeering they watched this

confrontation between the person considered one of

the most eligible and evasive bachelors in the area

known as Travis Parnell and the mystery woman with

the shocking copper hair.
Emerging from the crowd was an enormous wild haired

woman of about sixty with the weather worn face of a

tough pioneer. Dressed in a frayed gray homespun

dress topped with an apron that had seen better days,

she ordered the crowd in a loud booming voice. “Out of

my way, out of my way, move over.” The crowd parted

like the Red Sea for Augusta Reiner the town’s midwife

and part time doctor.
Her face was fierce with determination and concern.

Lumbering over to Julia she knelt down and patted the

young girl’s cheeks. Then turning, she looked at the

handsome man with probing eyes. “Travis, what have

you gone and done to this young slip of a thing?”
“Me?” Travis looked at Augusta in disbelief. He then

exhaled, relaxed somewhat, and gently shook the

young girl. “She was the one kneeling in the street,” he

said defensively. Taking one hand off of Julia, Travis

took his hat off, rubbed the back of his neck and put

his hat back on. “I could have killed her Augusta.”
Still patting her face Augusta looked up at Travis. “Well

thank the Lord you didn't. You drive like a maniac

sometimes.” Seeing the remorse in his eyes, she

smilingly touched his shoulder reassuring him that it

was all right.
They both stared at the girl who was now beginning to

show signs of consciousness. Blinking to clear the haze

from her eyes, Julia slowly came to; finding herself

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locked in the man's arms. It felt warm and comforting.

Giving herself a minute to examine him, she looked up

into the face of the man that caused her so much

trouble.
He was not a bad looking man and he was looking at

her with such concern, she wondered if she hadn't

been a little hard on him. His curly auburn colored hair

was of medium length. Little ringlets had fallen over his

forehead, giving him a youthful angelic look. Smelling

of leather and horses, there was just a faint hint of

cologne. His face was angular and unshaven and she

assessed that he was probably around thirty.
“Well, it looks like the hellcat is awakening.” He was

now eyeing her in the same mocking way that set her

defenses at attention. Mocking or not and figuring the

worst, she glared at him and began to extricate herself

out of his arms. Brushing herself off, as though to

cleanse herself of his presence, she turned and looked

into the eyes of the old woman that was staring at her.
The woman was old and ugly but her pale blue eyes

were clear and kind. Tendrils of gray and muddy brown

hair fell around her deeply lined face which was still

remarkably supple. A large nose filled her face and her

full mouth suggested a kind nature. Putting her hand

on Julia's back, she started to rub it trying to comfort

the girl and keep her calm.
“Come on honey. I have a room and a bath. Let’s get

you cleaned up, then you can think about what you

want to do for the rest of day.” Taking Julia’s hand she

helped the dazed young girl up.
Turning to the crowd Augusta ordered them about as

though she knew each and every one of them. “The

rest of you can stop your bug eyeing.” Waving her

arms, signaling them that the show was over, the

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woman then gently put her arm around Julia’s shoulder

that was still trembling.
Augusta sympathized with the embarrassment the girl

had experienced. She knew the girl wasn’t from around

here and to have been introduced to the town in such a

way was unpardonable. She clucked her tongue. Then

she spoke gently and quietly. “The people here really

are a nice bunch. You'll find that out after you've been

here awhile.“
Slowing their walk down a bit, the “scoundrel” stood in

the middle of the street and stared at the odd couple

as they walked away. Smiling to himself, he wondered

how the girl looked underneath all that mess,

remembering those incredible green eyes and the shiny

copper hair. As though she could read his thoughts,

Julia turned around and gave him one last scathingly

horrible stare. Then with a haughty toss of her head

she continued her walk with Augusta.
Travis lifted his eyebrows in amusement. This certainly

was not how he had planned the day. However, he was

not complaining. He had enjoyed his encounter with

the little hellcat. Pulling his hat down onto his

forehead, he figured he’d get some help with his wagon

and then head on home.
Looking down at his boots, he saw they were caked

with the smelly drying manure. Smiling at the

remembrance of her haughty manner, he took off his

hat and waved it down toward his feet. The pungent

odor wafted up to his nostrils and he breathed out a

curse.
Looking down at his filthy shirt and pants, he decided

that he would stay in town for the night to get a bath

and have his clothes laundered and maybe, just

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 2

Crossing the street, the women headed for a two-story

house located under some beautiful old Western Pine

trees. Yellow, trimmed with white and surrounded by a

white picket fence, it was the nicest house in the area.

The blue and red wildflowers that grew in abundance

encircled the house like a wreath and it seemed like an

ornament in the otherwise drab and dusty town.
Reaching the covered porch of the house, the large

woman led Julia around the porch to a side door

leading into the kitchen. “The name’s Augusta Reiner,”

Smiling widely, with crinkled eyes, she slapped her

hand into Julia’s and shook it heartily.
“Ju Julia Carwood.” Grimacing in pain, Julia smiled at

the woman all the while thinking her arm would drop

off if the woman didn’t stop soon. Augusta, finally

letting go of Julia’s hand, pulled out a chair and set the

frazzled girl down. Still trembling and uncertain of

anything that had happened to her this day she said a

silent prayer hoping she was correct in trusting this

woman.
Opening up the cold box Augusta brought out a pitcher

of yellow liquid. Crossing to the cupboard, she grabbed

some glasses and poured some for herself and Julia.

Handing one of the glasses to Julia she pulled out a

chair and sat down. Laying her glass on the table, she

tried to put her hair back in order. She began to speak

with hairpins in her mouth. “I hope I’m not being tho

presumpthuous helping you honey, but I thaw what

was happenin out my window and I thust had to jump

in and help. Ith’s my nathure.”

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Taking the pins out of her mouth she continued. “Never

had any kids of my own so I’m a mama to everyone

around here.” Picking up the glass of lemonade, she

swallowed it in one gulp then wiped her mouth with her

apron that looked like it had wiped everything else she

had come into contact with.
“I appreciate you helping me Augusta.” Julia tried not

to move so she wouldn’t make a mess in the nice

house. “I was so scared and embarrassed.” Taking a

drink of the cool lemonade she did not realize how

thirsty she was and emptied the glass herself. Setting

it on the table she felt some strength return. I will

always be in your debt.” Looking down at the floor she

grimaced and then looked up at Augusta. “I’m afraid

I’m getting your house pretty messy though.”
“No harm to it.” Augusta got up and walked out of the

room. When she returned she had a sheet and placed it

on the floor around the girl. “Everything cleans up.

Even good old cow dung!” Slapping her thighs she let

out a wild whoop, chuckled for a few seconds and then

settled down. Throwing her arms out she spoke to Julia

as if she had known her all her life.
“This here’s my home and you’re welcome to it. Let’s

get those clothes off and get you into a bath.

Phew...and none to soon either!” Fanning her arms she

walked across the room to open a window then taking

Julia’s hand, she walked through a doorway leading out

of the kitchen.
Following Augusta down a hallway, Julia observed that

it was lined with painted pictures of Augusta in earlier

days and a big hulking man who looked like a giant

version of Santa Claus. She figured he was her

husband.

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Opening a door to her right, Augusta motioned for Julia

to walk in. She followed Julia into a pleasant room that

looked warm and cozy. “This here’s your room for as

long as you want. I’ll get you a washtub lickety split. I

already had the hot water started. Was planning to

have one myself but you need it more.” Waving her

arms she loudly stated, “Whew yes siree.” Rubbing the

girl’s back she lumbered out of the room to get the tub.
Julia couldn’t wait to get the offending clothes off. Her

rage at that inconsiderate man had not abated. She

was still trembling as she started to undress herself.

Angrily yanking her jacket off she threw it on the floor.

Talking to herself, her voice was low and threatening.

“The nerve of him. He should be off the road.”

Impatiently kicking her shoes off she continued to

grumble. “If I ever see him again, I’ll give him a piece

of my mind.” Tearing her stockings as she huffily pulled

them off she caught her finger in the material and

ripped her fingernail. “Never in my life.” Yanking off

her skirt and petticoats, she finished her undressing.
Sitting down on the bed, she waited for Augusta to

return with the washtub. All of a sudden she started to

laugh. It was probably due to shock and nervousness

but it became uncontrollable.
That is how Augusta found her. A snip of a girl with

manure plastered copper hair, dressed in a corset and

bloomers lying on the floor in a fit of laughter.

Hurriedly setting the water down she lifted her arms in

the air, and raced to the young girl. “Landsakes the

child has become hysterical.” Augusta kneeled down

and picked up Julia who was still in a fit of laughter.

“Here honey let’s get your clothes off and get you into

this tub.”

Soul Cry of the Heart

Julia was laughing so hard she didn’t even get

embarrassed when Augusta, stripping her naked, set

her in the tub and started pouring hot cleansing water

over her body. When the water started to absorb into

Julia’s skin, she settled into the warmness relishing the

comfort it gave her. Laying her head back onto the rim

of the tub, she closed her eyes and wrapped herself in

the warmth of the warm water.
Recalling the circumstances of her arrival in Mournful

she smiled when she remembered kicking the shins of

the wild man. Her eyes narrowed when she recalled

how self-righteous he seemed, mocking her with that

teasing look of his that drove her crazy.
Her eyes widened at the thought that he had practically

accused her of the accident being her fault. Her fault! If

she ever met him again she would give him a piece of

her mind. Julia believed that free thinking and honest

independence were her best qualities and the scoundrel

could learn something from her!
Seeing him again in her mind she had to admit to

herself, however, that he was handsome. He was so

tall and strong looking; so different from the men she

had met in San Francisco. There hadn’t been many, but

those she knew were concerned with image and

reckless partying, instead of endeavoring to mean

something in this world.
The men she had known were her Uncle Paddy’s

friends. They were black sheep of socially rich families

who had grown up weak and greedy having been given

everything in life, everything but the one thing they

needed, love and nuturing. Paddy had provided that for

some of them and certainly for her.
Recalling the feel of the scoundrel’s body next to hers

as his breath warmly touched upon her cheek. The

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 3

“Well, well,” Augusta smiled at the very pretty girl who

was standing in the kitchen doorway. Julia was of Irish

descent and her coppery red hair that hung down past

her waist was thick and curly and very shiny. Her

creamy white skin contained very light freckles and

long thick black eyelashes framed her emerald green

eyes.
A full mouth with a hint of a pout seemed to have a

permanent redness to it that made it unnecessary for

her to use any cosmetics. A slightly round face, graced

by a nicely shaped neck and shoulders completed the

picture. Dressed in a white lace collared blouse and a

red and brown plaid jumper that luckily had not gotten

dirty in the fall, she looked young and fresh. Augusta

had seen the body underneath all the prim and proper

attire. Someday a man would consider himself lucky to

caress the beautiful ivory skin and long elegant legs.
“Come and have something to eat child.” Augusta set a

heaping bowl of stew in front of the girl with a spoon

and a big slice of bread covered with butter. Julia did

not realize how hungry she was. She looked at the

stew and started salivating. Diving into the food she

gobbled it down with a frenzy and then asked for some

more. “Mmmm, Augusta, this is delicious.” Mumbling

with her mouth full, she observed the neat and tidy

kitchen painted in a pretty yellow tone which Julia

figured was Augusta’s favorite color.
White crochet curtains,. perfectly starched, covered the

double windows on the wall next to the kitchen table.

Wildflowers adding a homey touch were contained in a

cute little blue tinted Kerr wide mouth jar that

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complimented the wooden hand made high back chairs

accented by blue sitting pads tied on to them.
A wood counter with a pump and sink filled the other

side of the kitchen and cupboards over the counter

held all of Augusta’s cooking supplies. Lying on the

polished wood floor was a brown and blue and white

braided rug that had paled and frayed with age

Everything had it’s place and even though Augusta

looked worse for wear, her house was spotless.
Finishing the picture was a cast iron stove with a

picture of a wood cutter carved into it that added heat

to the room it definitely did not need. Julia noticed that

all the windows were open helping to deflect the heat

from the room that was substantial.
Augusta busying herself with dish washing, watched

the young girl eat. Questions scurried through her

mind as to why this young girl, obviously not from this

area, was in Mournful. When Julia finally finished her

meal, Augusta picked up her apron and wiped her suds

filled hands.
Sitting down with perspiration dotting her face, she

looked at Julia with worried eyes and felt obligated to

question this obviously unseasoned traveler. Laying her

arms across each other on the table she asked, “Child,

what is it that brings you here to this hole in the

ground town?” She took her apron and wiped her face.

“How old are you anyway? You look like you should still

be under your mama’s wings.”
“My mama,” Julia sarcastically drew out the work

mama, “Was too busy to be a mama.” “She had no

time for anyone but herself.”
There was a pause in the conversation. Silence settled

itself between the two women. The sounds of outside

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wafted into the room and the chorus of the bird’s songs

filled the atmosphere with their cheery tune. The

breeze that rustled the curtains back and forth gently

caressed the table and chairs with its’ back and for

rhythmic sway. Julia’s memory turned back to an

incident of several weeks preceding her trip to

Mournful.
The image lingered vividly in her mind. Her mother was

reclining on a blue settee creating a scene of tragedy.

Perhaps she was thinking of the character Mimi, she

was re-creating in her rendition of La Boheme. Regally

observing everyone and expecting everyone to observe

her; it was perfect staging.
Julia, sitting stiffly in a high back powder blue Louis the

XIV chair was seated next to her mother. The

conversation, stilted as it was, came back to her with

absolute clarity.
“Julia dear, I know how close you were to your dear

Uncle Paddy.” Her mother busily arranged the curls on

her forehead into a neat frame to accent her clear blue

eyes. Then she continued with feigned grief. “I don’t

know what I would have done without him.”
Patting dry eyes with a delicately embroidered

handkerchief, she began to arrange her clothing so it

was more flattering, fluffing her blue black satin skirt

laying it evenly across the edges of the settee.
Julia had found it difficult to concentrate on the

conversation with her mother because of the

interruptions by people wanting to talk to this famous

woman of the theater. Elizabeth Carwood; talented,

tainted, beautiful acting siren of the stage, was Julia's

mother, in name only.

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This was one of the few times they had ever spent time

with each other and without looking at Julia she

continued. “I am not much of a mother you know. I

appreciated Paddy helping me with you.”
“You mean raising me don't you, Mother?”
The underlying tone of her daughter’s voice made

Elizabeth Carwood finally turn her head slowly toward

this stranger of her blood. With narrowed eyes, her

mother regarded her daughter a few seconds. Julia

could tell she felt uncomfortable with the expression

she saw in her daughter’s emerald eyes. Eyes that her

mother had said, reminded her of the first man she had

ever loved. A man that had left her when he knew she

was going to have a child.
There was a slight twitch in Elizabeth’s cheek that

revealed her nervousness. Julia watched impassively as

her mother struggled with a decision that she did not

want to make.
Elizabeth was not a woman to examine her motives in

any intensity. Spoiled from birth, she was used to

having things her own way. It was not unexpected

when she shrugged off the angel of goodness and

replied to her child. “I hope you are not expecting me

to take care of you. I can barely make ends meet as it

is.”
Her mother’s eyes strayed to a handsome gentleman

who was indiscreetly smiling at her. Julia noticed her

mother’s eyes would saucily dart over to him and little

smiles played at her dimpled mouth. Julia looked over

at the man. He was just another dandy ready to latch

on to a famous woman’s egocentric ways. Her mother

would fall in love with love, and then when he proved

to be another wrong choice, she would cast him off as

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she had cast off everything that was not perfect in her

life.
Her mother focused her attention on Julia once more.

An impatient tone edged her voice suggesting to Julia

she was tiring of this conversation. “I am not getting

any younger dear and parts are not coming as quickly

as they used to. You are welcome to come and live in

my house, but you will have to find some sort of living

with which to support yourself.”
She smiled generously at Julia, but her vacuous eyes

revealed the truth. She would never want her. Reality

struck Julia, bringing along with it an odd feeling.

Peaceful yet frightening. Normally these words were

not used together but they were perfect for how she

felt. Peaceful that she no longer questioned her

mother’s feelings toward her and frightened at what

the future would hold. Drawing from her repertoire of

rejection retorts, she exuded an air of indifference; and

with a shrug of her shoulders she responded to

Elizabeth.
“Thank you mother for your generous offer.” Sarcasm

coated the words from her mouth and this time her

mother reacted as though she did not hear the tone of

her daughter’s voice. Julia breathed in heavily, then

exhaled in frustration. “I have some money left. I will

find a position. You needn’t bother yourself.”
“Well you know best dear.” The relief was evident.
Shaking the wrinkles from her clothes, Elizabeth

Carwood rose to join the wake Allowing herself an

intimacy by patting the girl’s shoulder with her long

and delicately fingered hand her mother tried to

assuage her guilt with an uplifting comment. “You are

an industrious child but if you need my help with any

connections, please let me know.”

Soul Cry of the Heart

Julia remembered her mother lingered a few seconds

more. Hesitantly fingering her daughter’s hair, she took

a deep breath, straightened her torso, and started to

leave. An alien emotion made her pause for a moment

glancing down at the girl.
Julia waited as her mother struggled with the decision

one last time. She was not surprised when her

mother’s needs and want's rose above anything else in

life. Elizabeth, with a toss of her head, dismissed the

event as over and gaily entered the group singing

songs for the passing of Paddington O’Reilly Careen.
Noticing her mother had expertly insinuated herself

next to the man who was lewdly admiring her,

forgotten emotions of abandonment and despair

resurged themselves with force. Tearing at her heart,

the waves of anguish would wash over her chest as

though the emotions were eating at her insides,

devouring, changing, and mutating.
Tears threatened to expose her feelings, but she had

learned to take control of them by hardening her heart,

pretending not to care. Soon the control she had

learned to master, would ease the pain, calm the

storm. She would be whole again.
Augusta broke the silence and with a soft sympathetic

voice. “If I’m treading where I’m not suppose to, tell

me, but why didn’t your mama want you? Why I’d

think any woman would be proud to be your mother.”
With her eyes full of gratitude, Julia reached over and

laid her hands on Augusta’s. Thanking Augusta for the

sweet comment, she very quietly she finished her

story. “My mother was nineteen when she had me. My

Grandfather Albert Martin O’Reilly raised my mother

and Uncle Paddy in Ireland. He was very strict and very

religious. Uncle Paddy told me that he and mother

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were always in trouble because they usually rebelled

against his policies of obedience. When Paddy was 17

and my mother was 15, Grandfather O’Reilly died

leaving the house and money to my uncle and mother,

their parents having died early in the children’s infancy

in a boating accident.”
“Dreaming of coming to America, my mother and uncle

made their dream come true. They sold the house,

took the money and came to San Francisco. Mother

having a burning desire to become an actress, set out

to attain fame and fortune. Joining a theater group that

traveled throughout the world she nourished her

ambition. Uncle Paddy stayed home and spent the

family wealth on parties and a lifestyle of uh;” she

looked at Augusta apologetically, freedom for a better

word.”
“When my mother was nineteen she returned home

much wiser and very pregnant. She had married an

English actor by the name of Marshall Carwood who

promptly deserted her when he found out she was

going to have a me. Overwhelmed by the responsibility

of an infant, my mother did not want me and wanted to

put me up for adoption.”
Augusta eyes widened and she let out an involuntary

gasp.
“My Uncle Paddy would not hear of it so he hired a

nanny and took on the raising of me. Being an

ambitious woman, mother felt the need to do

something more than be a nursemaid. With Paddy’s

help she opened up a very successful theater house in

San Francisco, and left the raising of me to Paddy.
I have had contact with her but only occasionally.

When we do get together, it’s generally on a holiday or

birthday. I think she stays away because she doesn’t

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want to be reminded of me being a bad part of her life.

When my uncle died, I realized that I must make a life

for myself that is why I have come here to take a

position and make a life for myself. My employer

should be coming to get me in a day or two.”
Augusta noticed a fragile side to Julia as she hung her

head down and kept still. “You’re a young lady all

right.” Augusta said quietly. She took Julia’s small

delicate hands in her big callused ones. “You’ve also

been through a lot. I don’t mean to put vinegar on a

new cut but there are something’s you need to know

before you go gallivanting around this area. Honey, you

don’t know what it takes to make it in this country.”

Looking Julia in the eyes, she said, “This here is hard

living.”
Augusta sighed and with a worried scowl on her face,

released Julia’s hands. She picked up some of the dirty

dishes and walked up to the counter and began

scraping the remains of the food into a tin can. Setting

the dishes into a tub of water, she continued, “Hot in

the summer, freezing cold in the winter.”
Shaking a dirty fork towards Julia she warned her. “The

men here aren’t going to coddle you like your Uncle

Paddy did. A woman here must be tough. She needs to

be self-reliant and able to make it on her own if need

be.”
Finishing with the dishes she put on her glasses and

sat down using her apron to dry her hands. “My

Samuel, God rest his soul, use to say to me, Auggie

I’m glad I married a woman who could take care of

herself. It takes the worry from me. My Samuel and I

were married for 22 years.”
She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “He

was big, tough and to everyone else mean as a

Soul Cry of the Heart

wolverine but he couldn’t fool me. He was as soft as

mush inside. Never liked to show his softness except to

me at night. How I miss those nights.”
Augusta got a dreamy far away look in her eyes. Julia

kept quiet allowing Augusta her memories.
Contemplating Augusta’s comments Julia appraised her

situation. Maybe this was going to be hard and maybe

she wouldn’t make it but she was going to try and

nothing was going to stop her. She broke the reverie

by responding to Augusta in a voice strong with

determination. “I am going to make it Augusta. The

O’Reilly people raised me and we don’t give up. Now

let’s forget about the worrying. I’ll help you clean up.”
Getting up out of her chair, she walked up to the sink

and started washing the remnant of the dirty dishes.

Augusta followed her lead and picked up a towel and

started drying them. Admiring the spunk of this girl,

Augusta wondered what her plans were. “Honey, what

are you planning to do with yourself? Your employer

will be inquiring at the hotel about you.”
Not being able to stand the thought of being alone

tonight, Julia looked at Augusta pleadingly. “If it’s OK

with you Augusta, could I spend the night here?”

Augusta delighted with Julia’s request eagerly nodded

her head in agreement. She enjoyed this young girls

company. She made a mental note to send a message

over to the hotel.
“Honey, you are welcome to stay here as long as you

want.” Both women smiled at each other.
It was getting dark as the two women finished chatting

and washing the dishes. Deciding to go into the parlor

to play some cards, Augusta picked up the kerosene

lamp and led Julia into the room. Setting the lamp

Soul Cry of the Heart

down on the coffee table, they decided to play a round

of Old Maid when there was a knock on the door. “Now

who would be coming over at this time of night?”

Frowning, making her eyebrows meet at the bridge of

her nose, Augusta lifted her large frame off of the

sagging couch and lumbered to the door.
Julia heard a squeak as the front door opened. Augusta

boomed out a loud “Well, Well” to whoever it was.

Heartily bidding whomever it was to enter. Their voices

became louder as they entered into the living room.

When they turned the corner, Julia jumped up. If she

had been a dog the hairs on her neck would have stood

up straight as an arrow.
“You!” She started to stiffen with outrage that this man

would have the presumption to be coming over to see

her after what he had done. Noticing the girl’s attitude,

and the flushing of her complexion, Augusta tried to

appease the situation. “Now don’t get your dander up,

Julie.” Putting her hands on the man’s shoulders,

Augusta looked at the girl hoping she would be civil.

“He just wants to apologize. At least give the man

that.”
With effrontery plastered on her face, Julia stared at

the man who had made her first day in Mournful an

unforgettable experience. She had prepared a choice

tongue lashing if she ever saw him again, but for some

reason words failed her at the moment.
“Look, he’s even brought you flowers.” Augusta looked

at the flowers and then to her, eagerly nodding, hoping

that her red haired temper would calm down.
“Even scoundrels can be redeemed by a pretty face.”

Travis smiled at Julia in the same mocking way that

she found disconcerting. She didn’t know if he was

making fun of her or not.

Soul Cry of the Heart

The smile vanished and with sincerity he said,

“Seriously, I’m so sorry about what happened. I never

meant any harm. I saw you kneeling there and tried to

turn real fast, but it was too sudden; my rig tipped and

the stuff fell out.”
He extended his arm offering her the flowers, but Julia

just stood there staring at him. She couldn’t have

taken the flowers even if she had thought of it,

because her hands kept opening and closing in

nervousness. Her eyes glared at him with suspicion

while her eyebrows rose in skepticism.
Acknowledgment of the flowers being naught, Augusta

trying to redeem the situation took them from the man

and put them in a pretty vase that sat on the coffee

table. The two opponents appraised one another. One

glaring with disdain and prideful hurt and the other

looking quite amused and not a little admiringly.
She was much prettier than he had imagined; young

but sturdy. Fascinated with the way the light danced on

her beautiful red hair, it looked like she had diamonds

embedded in it sparkling and shining and glinting with

color perfectly complimenting her gleaming emerald

eyes.
Her eyes mesmerized him. They were the color of the

Green River that he had seen in the northwest area of

Montana when he was on a hunting trip. Her skin had a

beautiful pink tone to it and he loved the pale brown

freckles that fell softly across the bridge of her nose.

He had to swallow to keep his composure.
Breaking the spell Julia unknowingly betrayed the

picture Travis had conjured in his mind. The

haughtiness in her low pitched sultry voice set him on

edge.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“I believe it was unforgivable sir; not so much the

accident,” she eyed him contemptuously, “but you

didn’t have to laugh at me or manhandle me, Mr. um?

Julia looked from him to Augusta.
“Speaking of manners, mine have run down the drain.”

Augusta slapped her hand on her forehead, cleared her

throat and straightened out her apron. “Travis Parnell

this here is Julia Carwood.”
She looked from one to the other and could not

comprehend their thoughts. They stared at each other

in amazement as though frozen with shock.
“Oh, boy,” Travis closed his eyes and groaned.
“Oh no, it’s not possible!” Moaning Julia slumped on

the couch hiding her face in her hands.
Perplexed, Augusta scrutinized two people until she

finally figured it out. Her mouth formed a big O and her

eyes widened, as she dumbfoundedly understood the

reason for their attitudes.
Travis Parnell was the employer Julia was talking

about. It all made sense now. Having two children, his

need for a governess was expedient. Placing an

advertisement he had received a response and had

hired the girl sight unseen. She was expected to arrive

about this time.
Standing in utter amazement, Augusta looked from one

of the e figures to the other, then she let out a deep

loud laugh. “Landsakes.” she cried out. “Isn’t this a

pickle!” Julia and Travis just scowled at each other.

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 4

“Well, isn’t this just funny?” Augusta clapped her

hands together trying to make the best out of a difficult

situation. “You two are going to be working together. I

guess you would have to say it was fated.” She looked

at one face and then another. Neither of them heard

what she had said.
“So you are Julia Carwood?” Travis’s eyes interrogated

her.
“Yes I am.”
“How old are you?”
“Old enough. How old are you?”
“Hell, old enough to see your nothing but a kid.”
“Excuse me. I am nineteen years old and I probably

have more maturity than most people you know.”

Travis eyed her speculatively wondering if he had just

been insulted.
“So you think you can teach my kids?”
“I know I can teach your kids. Didn’t you read my

credentials?” He had, but they sounded way too

experienced for a woman her age.
“Well, I am going to have to think about this. Travis

rubbed his chin. “I didn’t realize how young you were.”,

‘Or how pretty.’ He thought to himself.
“She’s young but strong.” Augusta chimed in hoping to

help.
Julia tested Travis’s patience. Giving him evasive

answers when asked about her past, she couldn’t

understand why it was so important for him to know all

the historical facts about her life when she had sent

Soul Cry of the Heart

him a summary of her credentials. So he tried the

conventional questions.
“Can you cook? No use hiring you if you can’t cook.” He

was looking for an out.
“I can cook a steak that will melt in your mouth. I can

read Shakespeare to your children and I could shoot a

nickel through your teeth!” Julia stood in front of him

defiantly with her hands on her hips. Augusta roared

with laughter. Travis looked at her skeptically but

somehow, he knew she wasn’t lying. The steak part

was the deciding factor.
“Well, I suppose I could try you out. But if it doesn’t

work, I will pay your way back home or you can stay

here with Augusta. Does that sound fair?”
“Sure,” Julia stuck her hand out to shake the bargain.

“I have to have time to try you out also. I may not like

working for you.” Travis looked at her as though she

was crazy. Not wanting to get into another argument

he shut his mouth and shook his head.
Julia put her hand to her mouth and yawned. “Well it

will be a busy day tomorrow so I guess I will retire.

Goodnight Augusta. Thank you for everything.

Goodnight Mr. Parnell. Thanks for the ah, great

introduction.” Laughing she walked out of the room.
“Can you believe that girl?” Travis asked Augusta. “I

must be crazy to be hiring her.”
Travis sat next to his friend on her lumpy couch while

Augusta filled him in with what she knew about the

girl. She begged him to be patient with Julia. After all

she had been through and with so many changes in her

life Augusta, was figuring she needed some time to

adjust. “Maybe she’s just on edge, Trav. It was a long

Soul Cry of the Heart

trip. I don’t think she has had a chance to show you

who she really is.”
“Hmmph,” Travis, rubbed his hands through his hair. “I

saw and heard enough of her today to put her on the

next stagecoach to anywhere. Feel the lump on my leg

if you think she’s not a hellcat!” He started to pull up

his pant leg.
“Travis, I don’t need to see any lump.” Augusta said

laughing lightly. “Look, you’ve sent her money. She’s

indebted to you already so why not make the best of it.

Try her for a week or two and then if she doesn’t work

out, bring her back here and I’ll see what I can do for

the girl.”
“Well,” Travis looked doubtful. “I hope we make it

home in one piece. You’re gonna feel pretty bad

Auggie, if you hear that we became a couple of vulture

feasts because we killed each other on the way to my

place.”
Augusta chuckled and looked at him amused. She

nodded her head as if she was agreeing with him, but

she was thinking, hoping, that somehow the opposite

would happen and the two of them would make peace

and everything would work out. Though the two didn’t

know yet, their emotions were fighting the oldest battle

on earth, instant attraction.
Succumbing to exhaustion, Travis and Augusta retired

to their respective rooms and tried to get some sleep.

Travis spent most of the night wondering what had

possessed him to hire this girl sight unseen. Fighting

with the desire to send her back he relented. After

what little Augusta had told him there was nothing to

send her back to. He knew what happened to women

alone and abandoned and he was not going to be

responsible for that.

Soul Cry of the Heart

There was also something else. Julia intrigued him. He

felt alive in her presence and he hadn’t felt this alive

since he could remember. She touched a spot in him

he thought he had lost. Spirited to the point of being a

pain in the butt, he figured he was the boss and setting

her straight would get her going in the right direction.

‘Yes,’ he thought. ‘A firm hand is what she needs.’

Finally accepting the decision, he relaxed and fell into a

deep and dreamfilled sleep.
The dream began as it always did. He was walking at

night in a field of wildflowers. The perfumed air

embraced him with familiar scents that caused him to

feel sheltered and safe.
Fog silently oozing down past the mountaintops began

to creep into the moonlit air and thickened the

atmosphere with eerie ghostliness. He could barely see

in front of him. Suddenly a figure broke through the

fog and began walking toward him.
He could not distinguish the facial features but he knew

who it was. There was an intimacy of knowledge in the

way the figure walked and held itself. It was then that

he could distinguish her characteristics not because he

could see them but because his memory knew the

being as well as he knew how to breathe, eat or think.
Caught by a breeze, wispy blonde hair flew around her

delicately featured face. Her mouth moved as if she

wanted to say something to him but all he could hear

was a sound like the wind, only more mournful and

persistent. It sounded like she was calling out his name

but he couldn’t be sure.
Straining to hear what she wanted to say, he called out

to her to come closer. “Suzanne. Is that you? Come

closer.” She raised her arms out to him as though she

to wanted to get closer to communicate with him but

Soul Cry of the Heart

she never moved. Attempting to reach her he ran

forward only to find himself stuck in a bog.
Struggling to lift his legs out of the mud, he tried to

find a foothold to pull himself out but he just kept

sliding deeper and deeper until his head was ready to

go under. She stood there with her arms outstretched

still calling out to him in wails of unintelligible

language. The more he struggled, the farther down he

slipped.
Making one last attempt to pull himself out of the

muck, he labored with all his might, which caused him

to slip further into the mud. He was up to his chin now.

Then blackness and the feeling of being trapped and

tightly wrapped. Not being able to move, panic set in

and he tried to scream. He was unable to breathe. He

felt himself choking, helpless and then he started to

free-fall into a chasm of nothingness.
Travis woke up with a jerk. Covered with sweat, he

breathed deeply trying to catch his breath. In a panic,

he struggled to untangle himself out of his covers.

Thrashing his arms and legs he finally freed the tangled

blankets from his head and arms. Still breathing

heavily, he sat unmoving willing himself to calm down.
Awakening out of the haze of his dream he wearily put

his head in his hands wondering if he would ever stop

having this nightmare. His friend Chief Wise Eagle told

him when he knew what the spirit was saying to him

the dream would stop. He silently prayed that the spirit

would tell him quickly. Was it Suzanne coming back

from the grave to speak with him?
Born into a prominent family Suzanne Amanda Parnell

was Travis’s deceased wife. The two young people

acquainted themselves at Suzanne’s coming out party.

Hating the fluff and pomp of the occasion, they both

Soul Cry of the Heart

chose the library to sequester themselves to get away

from the hubbub. Realizing they had chosen the same

refuge, they started an animated conversation of each

one’s opinions of life. Finding they had much in

common, they fell in love and when Travis decided to

move west, Suzanne accompanied him in a much

talked about and scandalized elopement.
Suzanne and Travis complimented each other and their

toil and work formed the basis of Travis’s business

along with the two beautiful children that they both

would look at and thank God for.
Suzanne was pregnant with their third child when she

started having problems breathing. The only licensed

doctor was half a day away. With her legs swelling

beyond belief, by the time the doctor arrived, Suzanne

suffered a massive stroke and died.
The doctor explained to a distraught Travis that some

women get this malady through pregnancy, but it was

no comfort to him. He blamed himself for the tragedy;

for bringing her somewhere she couldn’t get the proper

medical care.
Devastated and alone, he grieved terribly, but because

of the children he knew he must go on. It had been

almost a year now and the children needed some

teaching along with a woman’s touch. Picking himself

up from the stupor of grief, he forced himself to live

again in whatever way he could. Every day tortured

him with the guilt he felt for his wife’s death.

~~~

Morning came sooner than anyone wanted.
“Morning.” Travis trudged into the kitchen looking like

he had chased the demons of hell last night.”

Soul Cry of the Heart

“Landsakes Trav, what got into you last night?”

Augusta set a cup of hot coffee before him.
“Just had a hard time getting to sleep. I don’t know

Augusta. I have a bad feeling about this. She’s so

young and so...”
“Pretty?” Augusta chimed in. “Honey, just let the chips

fall where they may. She’s nineteen years old. You’ll

probably have her on your hands for six months before

some young man asks for her hand in marriage. She’s

real gold Trav.”
“Yeah fool’s gold. When her mouth opens, all the men

will run the other way.” He lifted the cup of coffee to

his mouth. “Where is the hellcat anyway?”
“She’s taking her clothes off the wash-line. We spent

some time washing the dirt off them from your near

death incident. Boy oh boy, I bet the town is still

chuckling about that.” They both started laughing when

there was a knock on the door.
“Travis?” The liltingly sweet voice came drifting

through the house. It was Marla Pearson, Travis’s

sometimes girlfriend. “Ah there you are.” She bounded

into the kitchen all fluffed and silked in her newest

dress.
“You know Marla,” Augusta said dryly. “Most people

knock before they enter into someone’s house.” Her

lips were set and pinchy as if a bad taste had just

invaded her mouth.
“Dear me Augusta. We’re old friends. What do I need

to knock for? That’s for newlyweds and families.” She

flounced over to Travis. “Dear me honey. I heard about

yesterday. Are you all right? It’s all over town dear and

I must say after what I have heard I think she is

crazy!”

Soul Cry of the Heart

“Ah she’s ok, Marla. She’s just young. She’ll be ok once

I show her the ropes.” Travis looked over at Augusta

who was looking at Marla with undisguised disgust. “I

told her I’d try her out and if it doesn’t work she will be

sent home.”
“Show her the ropes?” Marla raised her perfectly

shaped eyebrows in question. “Show her the ropes

about what dear?” Augusta chimed in.
“You’ll never guess Marla. This girl, well she’s the one

Travis hired for the governess position. Can you beat

that?” Augusta slapped Marla on the back and let out a

whoop. Marla winced in pain and was going to reproach

the woman in anger when she thought better of it and

tried another angle. She was not thrilled of having a

woman in Travis’s home.
“Well Travis, I think the children would better be

educated in a private school. They’d get the best

there.”
“They’ll get the best from me.” Julia had heard the tail

end of their conversation and she did like what she

heard. “I was taught and excelled in private schools.

Travis’s children will get the same education from me

as a private school and still be able to be home with

their father.”
“Well little girl, you don’t seem to be worse for wear

being away from home.” Marla eyed the girl to

evaluate her competition. Augusta jumped in to hold

off a catfight.
“Julia, I’d like you to meet Marla Pearson. She runs the

mercantile here and is an old friend of Travis’s and

mine. Marla, Julia Carwood.” The air between the two

women was pungent with inquiry. Each one wanting to

Soul Cry of the Heart

know where they would stand in Travis’s view of

things.
“Well Travis, honey this girl looks too young to be a

wise woman of education.” Marla sided up to him

caressing his arms with her finely polished hands; “You

were going to come and visit me before you left.

Weren’t you sugar?”
“Well, actually,” Travis set down his coffee cup, “I

didn’t even plan to stay the night, I was going to sell

the manure to the feed store but had the accident.

Then I found out that Miss Carwood here is the woman

I hired as my governess so I thought we should get

acquainted before we made the long trip home.”
Marla pouted. “Well I guess I wasn’t on the visit plan

then was I?” “Seems you have more important things

to worry about.” Haughtily looking Julia up and down

she then looked over at Travis. Her smile was sweet

but her eyes were dangerous. “Well sugar, when you

have time, come and visit me. I am longing for one of

your visits dear, they are always so pleasing.” With one

long provocative look she turned and left the room.

The door quietly closed a few seconds later.
In the chilly blanket of dawn’s haze, which still clung to

the early morning, Augusta watched Travis and Julia as

they boarded the flatbed wagon. Travis checking the

luggage on the wagon making sure it was secure,

waved good-bye to Augusta.
Sitting himself next to Julia, he competently took the

reins and whistled for the horses to move. Looking like

two people being led to the slaughter, they sat stiffly

next to one another. Augusta called out to them to be

careful.

Soul Cry of the Heart

Seeing how Travis admired Julia’s physical beauty she

knew when a man felt that way he’d protect his charge

no matter what the consequences. It would be good for

Travis to have a woman around the house. He’d been

alone too long.
Well, not exactly alone with Marla Pearson his “friend.”

However, he needed the company of a lady who could

challenge him and raise his standards. She knew that

Julia was an innocent but the girl was different. There

was something about her but she couldn’t quite figure

it out. The girl had a knack for survival.
Most woman in her position would have tried to marry

someone, become a maid or worse not knowing

anything better, but Julia had taken a chance and

looked upon it as being a move to better things.

Augusta admired that.
She figured that between the two of them they would

rub against each other until the rough spots wore down

and become friends or she’d get word that a big

murder trial was about to be heard in the sheriff’s

building. Chuckling to herself she wondered if it would

amount to anything, but judging the way they were

looking at each other, or not looking at each other, she

had her doubts.
She watched them as their wagon faded into the

horizon. As she was walking back to her house she

mumbled a prayer to ensure their safekeeping.
“Dear God don’t let them kill each other before they

get home.” She could not help laughing at the way

they looked as they drove off. “Two peas in a pod I

would say!”
As Travis and Julia passed the mercantile, neither one

noticed the lacy white curtain being drawn back and

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 5

They rode in silence for about a half an hour and Julia

could stand the silence no longer. Trying to make

conversation she turned to Travis and asked,
“Where do you live Mr. Parnell? How far is it?”
“A ways.” Squinting against the sun he said no more.
“A ways,” Julia made an exaggerated face. “What does

that mean? A little way or a long way?” She was always

one to exasperate others with questions.
“Long enough way for you to think what you’re doing

here, take in the scenery and let a man think.” Not

looking at her Travis, exasperated, squirmed in his seat

trying to understand why he had let this young smart

mouthed girl become his children’s governess.
“You know,” Julia sensed his exasperation. “If you don’t

want me to do this job you can take me back to

Augusta’s and we can call the whole thing off.” Yanking

her bonnet off of her head her thick red hair fell loose

and blew in the wind as they rode.
Travis couldn’t resist surreptitiously stealing a look at

her marveling at the way her hair sparkled in the

sunshine. Inadvertently his eyes lowered to her breasts

that strained against the silk blouse she was wearing.

Clasping her hands in front of her she reminded him of

a china doll his sisters used to leave sitting on the bed.

It was a pretty doll, maybe even beautiful but too

delicate to play with. Sarcasm in her voice broke his

reverie,
“I’ll pay you back somehow for the money I’ve already

spent, although if you were fair, you would take some

money off that debt for the clothes you destroyed

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yesterday.” Looking at her as though she was crazy,

Travis thought ‘Ain’t that just like a woman. She could

wash those clothes and they’d be okay for where she

was going. As for the hat, it was too dandy a thing

anyway. A woman with that kind of hair shouldn’t wear

a hat.’ He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

“Nope.” He said matter of factly. “You’re going to work

off my investment.”
Gazing ahead, setting his chin a certain way, let Julia

know he meant business. Turning to him, she was

going to demand that he take her back to Augusta’s

but seeing his face she kept her mouth shut. What

could she do? According to Augusta, there were no jobs

in Mournful and Julia had very little money. A frown

contorted her features. Her back was against a wall.

Crossing her arms in front of her, she determinedly

kept her eyes staring ahead.
All around her were wide open spaces and miles and

miles of green lush meadows covered with wildflowers

dotting the landscape with bright yellows, purples and

whites. Timber filled mountains encircled the

landscape. Shrouded with a coral haze from the sunrise

they looked warm and inviting. The faraway snow

capped mountain ranges majestically reached to the

sky.
It was very early in the morning just entering the full

brightness of the day, but judging by the heat that the

sun was already producing, it would be a warm one.
They continued riding in silence mesmerized by the

sounds of the wilderness. Birdcalls, insect noises and

breezes’ sifting through the higher grass along with the

noise of the cart and the occasional snorts of the

horses lulled them into a comfortable silence.

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They had traveled about two miles when Travis made a

turn past some mountain cliffs they had been

approaching. A scene that brought a gasp from Julia

came into view. She had never seen such beauty in her

life.
Nestled among the mountains was a beautiful lake.

Clear, blue and looking like a shimmering wind blown

piece of silk it claimed its position among the mountain

peaks and big tall pines. Wildflowers larger than she

had seen previously circled the lake like a bride’s

wreath. Mirrored in the transparent water were wisps

of clouds floating lazily in the robin’s egg sky. Julia

could not contain herself.
“Mr. Parnell, I never knew such beauty existed. It

almost takes my breath away. Please could we stop

and just relish this for a few minutes?”
“Sure,” he said. Never taking this scenery for granted;

Travis’s heart skipped a beat at the beauty of the place

he called home. He pulled the reins on the horses and

brought them to a halt.
Julia jumped off the wagon before Travis could help her

down. She was so stir crazy that she forgot her

decorum and raced to the lake. Running to the lake like

a young child, her hair flew back and forth as she ran

lightly over the meadow.
Travis who had been ready to help her down put his

hands on his hips and chuckled to himself. Following

her came to the edge of the lake. He found a flower he

liked and picked it.
“How beautiful this land is, Mr. Parnell. You’re

descriptions were no exaggeration.” Julia splashed

some water on her face and arms. It was cool and

refreshing. Coming up behind her, Travis handed her a

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pretty purple wildflower. Smiling at him she took the

flower.
Travis noticed that when Julia smiled she had two cute

dimples that helped accentuated her beautiful face. He

could see he had pleased her. It was a gesture of

friendship; especially after all they had been through.
Julia sat on a rock next to the water and breathed in

the perfume of the flowers and permeated her brain

with the scene before her.
“The Indians call it the Lake of Good Tears.” Travis sat

down next to her. “There’s an old Indian legend that

was told to me when I first came up here.” He looked

at her questioningly. “Would you like to hear it?”
Julia loved the way Travis spoke. When he wasn’t

angry, he had a way of speaking as though every word

he said was a careful thought spoken with authority

and wisdom. Not wanting to get into the wagon yet

Julia played for time.
“Yes Mr. Parnell, please tell me.” Searching for a more

comfortable place to rest she found a thick carpet of

grass and settled in for the story. Travis looked out at

the beautiful mountain peaks and began his narration.
“A band of Indians came to a beautiful territory which

was filled with game, buffalo, fruits and vegetables. It

had everything they would ever need. Sheltered from

the weather by some magnificent mountain ridges, the

perfume created by the fragrant flowers in the valley

clung to everything around them.
The people believed it was the place the Great Spirit

had prepared for them but they discovered that the

lake that would provide them the needed water was

not clean. The water was thick with an ugly green

sludge. An unpleasant smell emanated from it.

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The chief of the people was called Clear Eyes of the

Wolf. Sending scouts to see if there were any other

water sources nearby, Clear Eyes hoped they would

find a water source. The braves returned to him and

told him that a large body of water existed about a

mile away but another tribe led by the renown cruel

chief Tecumaha claimed it. They would not let the

tribe move near it unless they offered a good trade.
Chief Clear Eyes of the Wolf had a daughter. A

beautiful Indian maiden called Lomala. Lomala was

Chief Clear Eye’s pride and joy. Tall, proud and

shapely, Lomala had known only one love that had lost

his life during a war party. Vowing never to marry

again, she wanted to live with his memory for the rest

of her days. She was a unique woman who had great

intuition and wisdom. She was the joy of the people.
Being the Chief, Clear Eyes of the Wolf had to make

decisions that affected and helped all the people of his

tribe. Some of those decisions were difficult. As Chief,

he knew he could not please everyone. He decided to

invite Tecumaha to a pow-wow to see what trade they

could make.
Techumaha agreed and upon arriving in the camp, he

looked upon Lomala who was sitting next to her father.

Tecumaha had never seen such a beautiful woman.

Desire forged itself in the cruel man’s greedy eyes and

a foreboding crept into Chief Clear Eye’s heart.
When the two men left for the Chief’s lodge to talk of a

alliance, Tecumaha made it clear to Clear Eyes of the

Wolf that the only trade he would consider would be

the chief’s daughter’s hand in marraige. Chief Clear

Eyes of the Wolf tried everything he could think of to

dissuade Tecumaha to change his mind, but in the end

he had to think of his people. Broken hearted and filled

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with grief, the old chief promised Lomala to Tecumaha.

The marraige was arranged to take place in one moon’s

time.
Upon hearing of the arrangement, Lomala ran from the

village and fell at the banks of the muddy lake and

cried out with all her heart.
“Oh Great Spirit, please hear me. I don’t want to marry

this man. I love you and my father only. Please help

me.” Looking into a clearer part of the water she saw a

figure standing behind her. Turning suddenly, she saw

it was the Great Spirit. His face was filled with

compassion and love for her.”
“My child," He held out his hands to her and she

clasped them as he pulled her up. “Do you love me?”
“Yes Great Spirit, besides my father I love only you.”

Looking into the depths of her soul he asked,
“Do you love your people?”
Lowering her head her tears touched his hands. She

knew what he wanted. She knew that if she really

loved Him she must love all people with the same love

she professed to Him and no matter what her

memories or desires were they could not come in

between Him and her people.
“Yes Great Spirit.” Her heart grew heavy with the sobs

that wanted to explode from her. A long pause held

them together.
“Yes Great Spirit.” Saying it again quietly with more

conviction."
“Thank you my child for your love.”
The Great Spirit transfigured into a cloud but as he

ascended to the sky, Lomala heard something fall into

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the water. Looking down to see what it was she saw

that the water was forming ripples from the center.
From the ripples a bright light slowly expanded out

from the center of the water. Standing there with her

mouth open in shock Lomala saw the water was

becoming pure as crystal. A voice from heaven called

down to her.
“Lomala, I have washed the lake with your tears. The

pureness of your love has made the water clean. This

water will no longer be impure. Because of your

willingness to love unselfishly, this water will always be

known as the Lake of Good Tears. You will be a legend

among your people and as long as you live they will

always be safe.”
Running home to her father’s arms Lomala told him all

that had happened. The chief sent some braves to the

lake to confirm her story. When they returned, they

informed the chief that Lomala's story was true.

Relieved, Clear Eyes of the Wolf knew he would have to

face Techumaha. He was afraid of what Techumaha

might do because he knew of the man’s obsessive

desires.
Upon hearing the story, Techumaha was angry but

because of the spirit legend that came out of her

experience, no one dared to attack her or her people,

as they believed she had special powers.
Lomala stayed with her tribe and became a holy

woman. Bestowed upon her was the name Spirit

Mother. People from all over the land would come and

have her place blessings upon their children.
Living many years beyond human time she gave hope

to her tribe. When she died the people buried her by

the lake and believed that is why the lake stays pure

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and clean. The people believe that the beautiful flowers

that grow here are the seeds of goodness that she

threw down from heaven after she died.
Mesmerized by the story, Julia breathed in deeply and

dreamily said,
“I can believe it. The flowers are among the most

beautiful I’ve ever seen.” Smiling at Travis she finally

forgave him for his folly.
“Friends now?” Travis held his hand out to her. Julia

looked into those wonderfully tender eyes. Feeling her

heart melt, she smiled at him. There was something

about this man that Julia could not deny. Her attraction

to him was overpowering.
She didn’t know him but her body urged her to nestle

into his big wide chest so that he would put his strong

arms around her. It was such a powerful attraction;

she could almost feel how she would feel in his arms.

Swallowing and licking her lips she nodded her head

and replied. “Yes friends.” Putting her hands into his,

they walked up to the wagon and Travis helped her up.
Riding a few minutes more, Julia detected a fever of

anticipation that possessed him. Quietly with

expectation, Travis commented that they were almost

home. Shaking the reins he nudged the horses to trot a

little faster.
Turning eastward, they came on to another meadow,

which in the distance held a large log cabin. A corral

and big red barn sat next to it. Enormous fir trees

nestled themselves next to the buildings and two

children, a boy and a girl, were playing with a dog in

the front yard.
Majestic mountains, which bordered Travis’s land,

provided a barrier from the alternating weather that

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could be a problem in this area. The lake seen from the

house seemed like a gigantic mirror that reflected the

sun. To the left of the house was a tremendous forest

of timber.
Travis made his living cutting timber and selling it to

Mournful and the surrounding bigger city areas.

Considered one of the most eligible bachelors in the

region, there were many ladies who would have

considered themselves lucky if he would have looked

their way.
The most eligible bachelor in Montana was from the

Parnell family of Boston. Generations ruled these

shipping people. The family fortune was made sending

cargo ships to the Old World and buying supplies that

were needed for this new one. Travis grew up in an

environment with governess’ and fancy schools. Hating

everything about the social structure of the rich, he

blamed money on his parent’s neglect of him and his

sisters.
His mother and father, more concerned with fancy

parties and social obligations had regarded their

children especially the eldest son, as heirs to a

kingdom. Duty was their baby’s milk. When they were

old enough, boarding schools for the blessed became

their mentor.
Coming home only on the holidays, Travis spent lonely

hours fantasizing about Jeremiah Johnson, Lewis and

Clark and the American Wilderness. Promising himself

one day he would see the country that thrilled his heart

and make it his home, he held on to his dream for

many years through many obstacles. Obeying his

family’s wishes, he majored in business law and

graduated from Yale University Law School.

Soul Cry of the Heart

It was after he graduated that he decided to tell his

family of his plans. Their response saddened him.

Laughing at him, they informed him that as their eldest

son, it was his duty to take on the family enterprise.
“My son,” his father put a hand on his shoulder. “We

have invested much time and money training you for

your destiny. What is this foolishness? All the Parnell

men have taken their rightful place in this family. I will

not hear of any more of this foolishness.”
Travis did try to honor his family by working for them

for a few months, but the desire to see other sights

was too strong. Taking Suzanne and what money he

had saved, he set out to see the world. Arriving in

Colorado he sent a wire to his parents telling them of

his whereabouts.
He received a reply from them that forced him to make

a decision that changed his life. Threatened with

disinheritance unless he returned home, Travis made a

choice that broke the bonds between him and his

family. The desire to explore the possibilities of making

his own dreams come true overrode everything in his

life.
He wrote his family informing them of his decision,

trying to convey what he felt the best way he could. He

did not want to be part of a city or its citified ways.

Travis wanted the peace and beauty of the wilderness.

It was his comfort and his love.
His parents wrote back with a reply that broke his

heart. He was disinherited, no longer considered part

of the family. Travis accepted the judgement but often

wondered if he had known what the future held, if it

would have changed his mind. He didn’t let himself

peruse that question too often.

Soul Cry of the Heart

Looking at Julia, he wondered if he was in his right

mind. He should have interviewed her at his expense

before having her come all this way. He did not want to

be responsible for this woman’s death also. He had

pondered over the advertisement and had expected to

receive more replies. Julia’s had been the only one.
Putting an advertisement in some of the better

newspapers in the bigger cities of the United States, he

was looking for someone who could give his children an

advanced education but who also would be happy

settling for several years in the remote wilderness area

of Montana. Julia was so young. Yet there was

something about her. He just couldn’t put his finger on

it.
“Well here we are.” Pulling in the reins, Travis set the

brake. Julia jumped off the flatbed and stretched her

arms up to the sky.
Yawning and stretching heartily, Julia wearily said, ”I

never want to sit again for awhile. I feel like I’ve been

sitting for years.”
Travis laughingly replied to her as he gazed at his

children.
“I wouldn’t worry about that.” He nodded his head

toward them. “With those two there won’t be much

sitting time available.”
The children raced up to Travis jumping all over him.
“Pa, Pa.” They tumbled over each other to get to his

hug first. “Did you bring us something?”
“Mavis I get to get hugged first.” The boy who looked

just like Travis pushed her away.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“No David, I want huggie too.” The little girl with rosy

cheeks and curly blonde hair stood there and started

crying.
“Now listen you two,” Travis picked them both up in his

big strong arms. “There’s enough of me to hug you

both at the same time.” Smiling again the children

focused their attention on the newcomer.
“Papa who that?” The little girl with a thumb in her

mouth nestled closer to her pa, looking wide-eyed at

the pretty lady with the red hair.
“She is our new houselady.” Julia rolled her eyes at

Travis.
“Yes children, I’m your new houselady.” She

sarcastically emphasized the last word all the while

smiling at the children.
Travis’s gaze turned threatening as she saw his mouth

tighten in controlled anger. Then he turned his

attention to an older man who, coming out of the

cabin, was walking up to the group.
“I wondered what was going on here.” A wiry tough

looking man came walking toward them. He looked

very out of place wearing his Stetson and an apron that

had flowers etched on the front of it. Putting an arm on

Travis’s shoulder he greeted the group.
“Howdy Trav.” He nodded his head towards Julia in

greeting. “Howdy Miss. Them little ones sure miss ya

when you’re gone Trav.”
“Thanks for looking after them Candy.” Travis turned to

Julia.
“Candy I’d like you to meet the new governess Julia

Carwood.” Gazing over at Julia, his eyebrow lifted with

a questioning look to see if she liked this title better

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than the last one. Evidently she did. There was no

sarcastic answer this time.
“Nice to meet you Candy.” The tough cowhand looked

from her to Travis and got a big smile on his face.
“Well Trav, you sure know how to pick em. Ma’am you

watch this hard headed scally wag. If he ever gives you

any trouble you just let me know. I’m around here a lot

being the cook for the rapscallions that work here.”

Winking at Travis, he took off the apron he was

wearing and handed it to him.
“Well I’d better be moseying off now. I’m going to ride

into Mournful Trav. Need to get some supplies. I’ll be

back tonight.” Tipping his hat to Julia he said. “Nice

meeting you Miss Julia.” The four of them watched him

mount his horse and ride off.
Setting kids down to get acquainted with Julia; Travis

went to take care of the wagon. Driving it to the barn,

he unhitched the horses and released them into the

corral. They pranced around in happy relaxation.
“You going to be our new teacher?” David asked with

the bluntness that he obviously had inherited from his

father.
“Yes,” replied Julia. “I’m going to try.” She paused and

smiled at the boy when she saw his dubious look. “I

will need you to help me. There will be so much for me

to learn. Think you can do that?” Julia looked down at

the boy who wanted so much to be a man.
“Suppose so,” he said very proudly, “I’ve just turned

six and I’m real strong.” Lifting up his arm he flexed it

with such concentration his tongue slid to the side of

his mouth. “Look at my muscles.” With a feigned look

of amazement, Julia put her hands on her face.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“I’ve never seen such muscles on a boy of your age.

You will be a great help to me.” David beamed. Pushing

his sister forward he introduced her to Julia.
“This is my sister Mavis. She’s three and a girl.” Julia

detected a note of derision in his voice.
“Well just because she is a girl does not mean she isn’t

something special. We are all special in our own way

and the longer we know each other the more special

we are going to become.” Mavis looked at Julia and

decided she liked her.
“You’re pweety.” She said as she walked up to Julia

and put her tiny little hand in Julia’s.
Interrupted in their conversation by Mud the children’s

dog, they all moved out of the way as he ran through

them yelping and howling after an imaginary bird or

rodent. Everyone laughed at the dog’s antics.
“He’s nuts,” David said laughing.
“Yeah, nuts,” Mavis mimicked.
“Shall we go into the house?”
They turned at Travis’s voice. Mavis and David took

Julia’s hands and started to pull her towards the house

arguing whose room she was going to see first.
Skimming her eyes over the inside of the house, Julia

thought it was very comfortable looking. It had a main

living area, built off of the kitchen. Connecting the

living area and the kitchen was a two-sided fireplace.
Two bedrooms located off to the side of the living area

were down a big hallway that curved to the left of the

living room. In the middle of the living room was a

spiral staircase that led to the upper bedrooms that the

children slept in. Next to their room was another small

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room for company that was going to become Julia’s

room.
In the backyard was a small guesthouse that Candy

used if there wasn’t company. This was the original

house Travis and Suzanne had lived in when they first

came to Montana. Well planned and comfortably rustic,

the main house was a house built for family life.
It was a little after noon and the atmosphere was

getting warm and muggy. The children wanted a little

time with their pa so Julia began exploring the grounds

while Travis amused the children. They played in a tree

fort he had built for them. Climbing up the fort and

swinging from a rope that hung from a sycamore tree

located in the backyard, Julia’s heart would skip a beat

when she saw David jump onto the rope and swing out

yelling at the top of his lungs.
She noticed that Travis did not exactly join the children

in the play but stood observing them. It seemed like

his mind was on other things than on his kids. They

kept begging him to join them but he would smile and

say he was happy just to watch them. Julia sighed and

knew one day he would regret not having spent more

time with them.
Continuing her observation of the area, she saw that

extending from the sycamore tree was a path that led

to the forested area. Julia gazed with wonder at the

beautiful valley. Taking in a deep breath of the pine

and wildflower smells she felt peace flood her senses.
She had never felt this way in San Francisco. It was a

city of life full of the hustle and bustle of people

anxious to be on their way. It was a city full of people

who were hurtful and rude. Expectation filled her soul

as she thought of this new beginning.

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“So what do you think?” Jumping at the interruption of

her peaceful state Julia threw her hand on her heart.

Travis walked up beside her.
“It’s absolutely beautiful.” Turning towards him, she

drank in his form. Tall and burly chested, with long and

muscled legs, he had an aura of strength and

gentleness. His hair was auburn, thick and curly. He

wore it down to his shoulders and she remembered the

small tendrils of curls that would occasionally fall onto

his forehead giving him a younger look then he actually

was.
Studying him for a moment, she wondered what it was

that made him so attractive. She finally decided it was

his eyes that were the most attractive. They were a

deep rich brown with flexes of black and gold. His nose

was regal and his mouth while not as full as Julia’s was

a mouth that seemed to signify strength and spoke of a

soft nature.
Julia smelled the odor of his suede coat, mixed in with

the smell of horses, and she found herself again

surprised at the emotions she was feeling. This man

could make her angry as a bothered bee, laughing at

her covered with cow droppings. This was also a man

who could give her aa beautiful flower on a

mountainside, and tell her a lovely story weaved from

Indian legend. Once she thought she could never

forgive him, now looking at her employer she could

only think how pleasant it was going to be to work with

him. Oddly enough she felt like she had known him for

a long time. There was a comfortable feeling being with

him. She again had the fanciful thought that if he put

his arms around her, there would be no

embarrassment because it was almost as if she

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belonged there. Brushing off her vain imagination, she

addressed him in a business like manner.
“Well Mr. Parnell, maybe we better get down to

business.” “What are my duties?” Travis was gazing out

at the scenery. Quietly he spoke to her.
“Call me Travis.” Turning to her he plucked a fly away

hair off of her face. She shivered at his touch. There

was something about the way he looked at her that

made her weak kneed and uncomfortable. Maybe it

was the way his eyes seemed to pierce through her as

though he were invading her soul, or the smile that

lifted up one corner of his mouth more than the other.

She couldn’t quite figure it out.
“How is it you wanted to come out here? You don’t look

like a be in the country hard life woman to me.”
“What does it matter?” Turning from him she started to

put her defenses up, along with that rebellious chin of

hers. She didn’t like being questioned, especially about

her past. “I’m here, that’s all that matters.” Looking at

back at him he could see the defensiveness in her

eyes, in the tilt of her head. He could also see the hurt

in her eyes.
“It matters to me.” Travis figured it was now time to

set up the ground rules. His eyes narrowed to a slit and

she could see the seriousness set in his face lines.

Gently but firmly he spoke to her.
“You’re gonna be with my children and live in my

house. I have a right to know why you came here. I

don’t see why you are so reticent about telling me

about your past! As long as you do the job, that’s all I

want. I do want to know that you aren’t an ax murder

or something.”

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He smiled down at her but kept his eyes serious. He

didn’t want to seem to hard on her and to tell the

truth, some of what he did was because he liked being

near her, to look at her.
Her eyes tantalized him. Travis had never seen eyes

the color of emeralds before. Seeing a slight change of

color occur in her eyes whenever she got angry, he

figured she must have been real angry right now

because they were about as pale as they could get.

This was a woman who did not like being pinned to the

wall. Travis considered it a challenge.
“If you didn’t think I would be right for your children,

why did you hire me? If you were worried about me

you should have checked out my mental state before

you brought me here.” Julia kept a steady gaze on him.
“Woman!” Pulling his hat off of his head he began to

rub the back of his neck. Putting his hat back on, he

irritated her with the teasing smile on his face. “Tell me

something.” He broached the subject as carefully as a

dog approaches a butterfly. “You didn’t pad your

qualifications did you? I bet you don’t even have a

certificate.” Receiving no answer he goaded her some

more. “Well do you?” Julia blushed furiously.
Feeling her heart beating double the times it normally

did, her breath came in short spurts. She hadn’t

padded it, but she did exaggerate her experience

somewhat. She felt justified, for in her mind she knew

she was quite capable of performing the job.
“I knew it!” Travis threw his hat on the ground. “You

lied didn’t you? I spent good money and what do I

have? A smart mouthed sassy woman with no

education.”

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“I did not lie!” Stomping her foot and missing his foot

by a millimeter, she turned away and would not face

him. Calming down, her sultry voice humbled itself a

bit.
“Well not really.” Turning back to him she knew she

could not lie to this man with the interesting eyes. “I

mean I did go to the schools for awhile, and I do have

a certificate. It’s just that I never stayed in one school

long enough to let the teacher’s get to know me. I’ll

have you know that I was among the best students and

I will teach your children well.” Standing with her

hands on her hips her arrogance irritated Travis.
“And why didn’t you stay at any one school very long?”

Travis poked his face close to hers and added

sarcastically, “I suppose I don’t need the answer to

that question. You’ve given me plenty of reasons to

know on my own.”
Julia had enough. Lightning fast she reached out to

smack him, but he was faster than she was. He caught

her wrist in mid motion and then gripped it hard and

firm. Julia tried to break away but he was too strong.

Breathing heavily she almost feared the anger she saw

in the face of the man who was holding her so tight.
“I don’t know who you are or what you are.” Speaking

through clenched teeth he glared at her, “but I gave

you money to work for me and work you will. I’m

getting real tired of these outbursts also. I think it’s

time you grew up. Tantrums are for kids.” He released

her and the pressure of his release almost threw her to

the ground.
Starting toward the house he called over his shoulder.
“There’s laundry in the kids room and my room. Please

have it done by tonight. Also the young uns probably

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are hungry and so am I. “You told me you could cook

so let’s see if that is true or not. Oh and you wanted to

know why I hired you? You were the only one that

answered my ad.”
Julia rubbed her wrist as she watched him march

toward the house. Hating him she kicked at the ground

and cursed the day she set foot in Montana. She hated

him for seeing through her, she hated him for being in

control and she hated him for being so darned

attractive.
Well, she was Julia Carwood and no man or woman

would get the better of her. She would show him a

thing or two. Stiffening her shoulders, and setting her

chin, she followed him into the house.
“So much for new beginnings.” She said as her heart

dropped with each new step.
Unbeknownst to anyone but Paddy and Julia, Uncle

Paddy had prepared Julia well for whatever duties she

might have to perform in her life. Paddy was well

aware that life offered no guarantees and that Julia, by

way of her unwanted birth, needed to know everything

that could make her self-sufficient.
Hiring tutors until she was in her teens, Julia’s

childhood was very limiting. Most of the children in the

neighborhood were away at private schools so Uncle

Paddy became her playmate. She did have friends

among Paddy’s acquaintances, but she was years

ahead of them in maturity and never seemed to

connect with children her own age.
He had maids teach her how to clean, cook, and sew.

He forced her into acting as the woman of the house

and at the age of 12 she was making the household

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decisions that would help her if she married into the

right society.
Paddy spent many hours teaching her the art of riding

and training horses. Mastering a gun at the age of ten

she also played a mean game of poker and knew how

to be a perfect hostess.
Paddy did his job well teaching her to excel in

everything she did. When she finally went to school,

she was among the brightest students in scholastic

testing and her teachers were at a loss to keep her

challenged which was part of her behavior problems.

Excellent as her teaching was, there was one thing

Paddy could not teach her. He could not teach Julia

how to be a woman.
Julia had never learned how to be feminine in the

strictest sense of the word. Her outward appearance

spoke of gentility but once she opened her mouth the

whole facade faded like a year old flower pressed in a

heavy book.
Protecting Julia from his seamier part of life, her

contact with the people he ran with was occasional and

short-lived. As she grew older it was harder to pretend

that those he socialized with were the cream of the

crop, so during vacations from school, Paddy devoted

his time to entertaining and training Julia for whatever

reality would bring to her.
Paddy, luncheoning with Julia’s mother, would become

frustrated pleading with her to take on her

responsibilities. He loved Julia dearly and loved raising

her but he knew Elizabeth could teach the girl things

he never could.
These luncheons would inevitably end in arguments.

Elizabeth was staunch in her refusal to tie herself down

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with a child. Reminding him that he had taken Julia

when she was very young, Elizabeth tried to convince

him how cruel it would to take Julia from the only

home she had known.
Paddy knew that Elizabeth’s main concern wasn’t with

Julia’s welfare as much as his sister’s concerned for

herself. Becoming angry, he would then accuse his

sister of being a selfish and cruel woman with her

antagonistic response cruelly reminding him that of all

people he shouldn’t judge.
Growing older, Julia knew what her Uncle was and

sometimes she was ashamed but she loved him. He

was the only person in her life to love her and she was

obstinately passionate in her defense of him.
Noticing Julia had grown into a beautiful woman with a

warped view of the world, Paddy, concerned about her

future, wanted her to meet some nice young men and

possibly marry well. He knew she needed to be with

decent people. He was going to suggest that she stay

with his best friend’s family, people he greatly

respected, but had died before he could bring the

subject up.
Fuming Travis walked to the back of the house. Taking

off his jacket he picked up the ax to start cutting wood

and then instead sat down on the cutting log. Kneeling

on the ax handle, he asked himself.
“Now how did that happen?” Taking off his hat he

rubbed his neck. “We were doing so well. All I did was

ask her a question. That woman changes faster than a

chameleon!” Remembering how her eyes sparkled with

anger and how she would toss her hair in rebellion

creating a fan of golden curls flowing past her face, he

puzzled that someone he had met so quickly should

have such an impact on his mind.

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 6

The sun’s rays embraced every thing with the intense

heat of the afternoon sun. Mud was lying on the ground

panting in his sleep and even the insects had toned

down their humming to conserve energy. Life quieted

itself waiting until the evening’s breeze returned to

restore vigor and strength once more.
Julia stood over a washbasin washing clothes. Hot

water steamed up into her face creating droplets of

sweat that fell off her nose and mingled with the wash

water. Frizzled tendrils surrounded her intensely

thoughtful face.
Pondering on the rationale of her plan, she was ready

to go into one of her pity party spells as she called

them. She was hot sticky and feeling sorry for herself.
Pleased that lunch had gone well she could at least

have some satisfaction in that. The kids enjoyed her

sandwiches. She had made faces on them that brought

giggles to the table.
Smugly recalling the way Travis's eyebrows lifted when

he bit into her bean and bacon soup showed her that

she had won in the cooking category. Still the

argument she had with Travis and the difficulty of

handling a household in the wilds of the country made

her wish she had never set foot in Montana.
Julia remembered what her Uncle Paddy had told her

once when she wanted to quit training horses because

she did not like cleaning out the stalls. “Julie,” He

would put his pipe in his mouth every time he was

going to lecture her, give it one puff and take it out

and pound out the tobacco. “There is nothing wrong

with hard labor, what’s wrong is thinking it’s wrong.

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This world would not be existing if it weren’t for people

willing to work it. Tis what the Good Lord intended.”
Recalling memories about her life with Paddy, Julia

smiled calling to mind the happiness of the scenes.

They brought her back to a tranquil and happy time of

her life. The loss of the comfort that her past life

brought her caused tears to surface giving her beautiful

emerald eyes a translucent look.
Tears fell down her cheeks in an unending flow. She

couldn’t have stopped herself in she tried. All the hurt,

frustration, exhaustion and fear finally caught up with

her emotions.
Holding onto the washbasin, she began releasing her

body to the overwhelming emotions. It was a deep

heart-wrenching cry that made her body shake and

tremble uncontrollably. Her tears fell in warm flows to

her fingers, which were white, knuckled from the force

she had on the basin.
Travis was returning from the barn when he turned a

corner and observed Julia in her weak moment.

Allowing himself a minute to observe her, compassion

engulfed him. She was so young and alone. One had to

give her credit for the ingenuity and courage she had

shown.
He didn’t really care what she was before she came

here and he wished he hadn’t pushed her so hard.

Augusta told him that she was alone now in the world

and that she had a mother that didn’t want her. He

didn’t know why it was so important, but he wanted

her to trust him the way she trusted Augusta.
Compassionately observing her, he waited until she

finally cried herself out. Wiping her eyes, she

straightened her shoulders and went back to work.

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Taking a mental note of the scene he cautiously walked

up to her.
“Lunch was very good Julia. “It looks like you did very

well in your cooking class.”
“Thanks.” Her low sultry voice was now cracking and

muffled. Julia kept her eyes down not wanting to look

at him revealing her red eyes.
“Where are the children?” Travis wanted so badly to

comfort her in some way, but he did not know how.
“They played so hard today, they almost fell asleep at

the kitchen table.” Keeping her face down, she

continued to wash the clothes with a forced vigor.
Though she drove him crazy, he enjoyed sparring with

her and he didn’t quite understand why he felt so hurt

that she was unhappy and driven to tears. Travis just

stood there and stared at her.
He liked looking at her. He liked her movements, her

faces and her spunk. Not getting any more response

out of her he picked up a piece of wash and

commented. “Admirable job.” Walking off he started to

whistle a tune. Julia picked up the piece of wash he

had touched and started crying again.
The day wore on and after the kids woke up, Julia’s

spirits rose. The children were anxious to show her

around and the afternoon was spent with the children

showing her all their secret places. They were now

leading her to their special secret place.
Taking her down a path that went from the back of the

house to the forest area, Julia eagerly looked about

her. They were walking along a path thickly lined with

old pine trees and it grew quite dark with the sun not

being able to pierce the inner sanctum of the heavily

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forested area. About a quarter of a mile the kids

started whispering and became excited.
“Julia, close your eyes please, we want to surprise

you.” David took off the scarf he had been wearing and

placed it around her eyes. Somewhat suspicious, Julia

wondered if this was an initiation for the new

governess. Giggling, Mavis put her hands on Julia’s

eyes to make sure she wasn’t peeking. David

cautiously led Julia down the path telling her when she

needed to step over a root or rock or dodge a branch

or bush.
When she was almost ready to tell him to stop, he

stopped her, by putting his hands on her shoulders.

Then he began to untie the scarf. Telling her it was ok

to open her eyes; he swept the scarf away from her

face like a magician.
Julia let out a gasp of surprise. A swimming hole with

big knotted limbs perfect for hanging and diving,

nestled itself among the pines. A break in the forest

allowed the sun to shine with a fury on the little

swimming area. Looking clean and cool the water

beckoned to the wanderers. David being seven was

already an avid swimmer so he jumped in after he had

removed his trousers and shirt.
Following the pack was Mud their dog. He had followed

the three of them. Not being confident of Julia’s ability,

he appointed himself protector of the children.

Forgetting his post, with the anticipation of a good

swim, he jumped into the water after David. The three

of them laughed as the dog came up spluttering and

choking trying to swim after his young master. Mavis

being three could only wade but had fun observing her

brother doing aquatic gymnastics.

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“Do you want to swim Julia?” David asked as he was

doing the backstroke. It looked so inviting. Julia was

tempted.
“Juwe.” Mavis tugged on Julie’s hair to get her

attention. “Me too?”
Julia smiled. “Why not,” she said. It was hot, she was

sticky and that water looked too cool not to partake of

it. With Mavis in her arms, Julie waded into the clear

cool water. Relief from the heat started climbing up her

legs gradually spreading throughout her body.
“Juwe let me down; I want to pway too.” Julia not

knowing how well Mavis knew the water stayed close to

her. All of a sudden David swam by and splashed water

into Julia’s face. “Oh you’re in for it now!” She raced

after him and returned tit for tat. It became a free for

all after that. Even Mavis got into the act.
Hidden by tall trees as he observed the group splashing

and having fun, Travis smiled as the three of them

played with an abandon that brought the uneasy

emotion of jealousy to mind. It wasn’t as though he

was spying on them, but he rationalized that for a

while at least, he would see how she related to the

children in private. He needn’t have worried.
The children had taken to Julia without reservation.

David and Mavis took turns getting on Julia, taking

piggyback rides, that ended in one or another being

dunked in the water. Travis again felt a slight pang of

jealousy. He did not allow himself many times of

frivolity with the children.
There was too much work to do to allow Travis time for

frivolity. He had to make sure the ranch ran smoothly

and efficiently. He would not allow himself to fail at

what he had taken so long to secure. Planning had

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saved his life. Digging into his dream helped him to

survive all the hurt he had gone through.
Seeing the nearing of the fulfillment of his dream, he

couldn’t stop now. In two years he would be sole owner

of his house and land. Travis had a dream that once he

was financially sound and had built something worthy

of respect, he would contact his family and show them

he was still worthy of their love and acceptance.
Watching Julia as she romped with the kids and seeing

how they loved it, brought memories of earlier times to

his mind. He remembered how in happier times he and

Suzanne had swum in this pond cooling themselves off

after a hard day of clearing the land to build the cabin.

He thought of Suzanne but Julia kept tempting his

eyes.
Her hair kept getting in the way of her vision Plastered

down the front and sides of her head, she would shake

it to keep all the water from falling into her eyes.

Lifting her arms to pick up that glorious hair; then

tossing her head back and forth, she would shake her

head creating a cascade of tendrils of dark shiny

ringlets.
Travis watched the innocent movements, and it made

him feel those feelings again that he didn’t want to feel

especially with this girl. Her face newly cleansed looked

fresh and young. In her happiness, her eyes glowed

and he could imagine the bright emerald color they

would be now.
Calling a halt to the play, Julia called out that it was

time to get back to the house. The children groaned

and fussed but when she said that milk and cookies

were waiting, they all bounded out of the water with

Mud trailing after them. Everyone yelled and moaned

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when the dog shook himself off sending streams of

water spraying in all directions.
Travis, still observing the motley crew, widened his

eyes as he noticed how Julia’s dress clung to her like a

skintight pair of long johns revealing her body in its

shape and contour. Never having had a chance to

observe her he could not miss how tiny her waist was

or how long her legs were. Pleasantly rounded hips

completed her curves and her rear end was cute

enough to make Travis think thoughts he knew he

should not be thinking. Her breasts were full and her

nipples that had tightened in the cool water exposed

themselves through the thin wet fabric. In shocked

realization he realized she was not wearing a corset

and the perfection of her body was all her.
Lifting her arms to pick up her hair to wring it out,

Travis’s breath came heavy and sporadic as his body

reacted to the complete sensuality of the moment. She

was in his estimation one of the most beautiful women

he had ever seen. Her hair reached almost to her hips

and every time he saw it he couldn’t help admire its

reddish gold beauty.
The trio began its hike back to house. Travis still hiding

from them, pondered on the scene he had just

witnessed. Feeling guilty over the thoughts he was

having, he started thinking of his wife Suzanne. Being

an idealist Travis figured there was only one person in

the world for him. Suzanne had been that person. She

had fit him as well as a well-worn glove.
Accepting his stubbornness and temper, along with

living his dream, she knew what forces threw him into

the frenzy of work. He wanted to create something that

would bring back the confidence he had once had

before his family had so callously expelled him.

Soul Cry of the Heart

Suzanne understood because she came from almost

the same circumstances. She understood him in the

way no one else would. Travis had thought the world of

her.
It wasn’t so much passion that the two of them

experienced, but a warm companionship born out of

familiarity. Travis had never experienced passion and

he was a little fearful of the feelings this young woman

made him feel. He could feel exasperation even anger

towards her. At the same time he would have to do

everything not to put his hands into the lush red hair

and pull her young face to his seeking the mouth that

caused him so much trouble.
In watching the three of them together he realized how

much fun the children were having. It also grieved him

to realize that Suzanne would never have played with

the children like that. She had been very straightlaced

and serious and it disturbed him to realize that maybe

there was more to parenting than just being a parent.

It was a feeling that was alien to him.
Being raised in an environment that bred gentleman

with duty in their bones, he felt a tug of war in his

heart. He could not deny the fire that Julia fed within

him. He was also a gentleman and they did not act on

their feelings.
When the raggedy group got back to the house Travis

was cutting wood. Julia marveled at his unclothed

upper body. His muscles glistened in the sun. She had

never seen such a massive body on a man and it both

repelled and excited her. His chest covered with dark

hair was expansive and his stomach was flat and firm.

When he lifted the ax his chest expanded and his ribs

formed a perfect fan for all to see.

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He was a magnificent spectacle of a man and sent

Julia’s emotions reeling. Feelings that she had never

experienced before, in areas she had never

experienced before, left her confused and frustrated.

Mavis and David ran up to him. They clung onto the

powerful chest of his. Julia felt a little jealous.
“Pa, Pa, we had so much fun.” They were talking a mile

a minute. “We all swam.” Julia looked at David. He

looked so much like his dad. He had the same brown

eyes and all his actions spoke of a little boy who looked

up to and adored his daddy.
“Even me,” Mavis said, looking at her father and

beaming. Mavis on the other hand was delicate, blond

and blue eyed. She was very sensitive and quietness

would be her strength. Travis looked down at his little

thumbsucking angel.
“Well, little one, looks like you had fun.” He rubbed the

child’s wet head. “I think it’s time for you all to do

some work now.” He released them and motioned them

to back away. He lifted his ax to chop some more

wood.
“Aw Pa,” David started to voice descent but Travis’s

look stopped him. “Start picking up this wood, boy. We

have to get ready for winter.”
“Pa, winter isn’t for three months.” Travis set down his

ax.
“Son, it takes us five months just to get the wood cut

to have enough for the winter; especially if it’s a bad

one. Mavis, honey, you help your pa by picking up the

kindling ok?” The children obeyed and started walking

towards the barn.
“Julia, you’d better start thinking about your schedule.

I’ve written up your chores in the house. I put a list of

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them on the kitchen table.” He tried not to look at her.

She looked so beautiful. Her hair had dried enough so

that unfettered and uncombed it flowed out from her

face in masses of ringlets that made her look like even

more beautiful. Travis gulped and spoke to her in a

voice that contained more sternness than it needed.
“Get up there now; you can’t play piggyback with the

kids forever.” He knew the minute he said this that it

was a mistake. Julia’s smile vanished from her face.

Her eyes got a dull green again. She walked up to him

so the kids would not hear. Her voice grated against

his nerves.
“So along with being a careless driver you were spying

on us also? Did you think that I was going to let your

children drown or something? Well this just cuts it. I

will see to the schedule and when I have paid my dues

I will happily leave this place.” She started toward the

house, stopped and turned toward Travis.
“You know, it wouldn’t hurt you to play with the kids

every once in a while.”
Travis gave her a narrowed-eyed scowl. “I don’t need

you to tell me how to raise my children.”
“You don’t need anything or anyone; do you Mr.

Parnell? You’ll just live life under your rules and your

desires and everything will be just fine. Well, I hate to

tell you this but one of these days you’re going to have

to change. You won’t always have your children and

when they grow up that’s it.”
“What made you the expert?” Travis now was staring

at her in an eye to eye combat his voice rising a bit.
“I just know how much parents mean to their children.”

Julia looked down at the ground. She seemed to be

talking to herself more than to him. “It means more

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than just getting them an education and teaching them

responsibility; you mean more to them then you think.”

She knew she was getting into deep waters here so she

closed her mouth and said no more. “I’ll go look at the

schedule now.”
“Suit yourself.” Travis looking like he could burn a log

with his eyes went back to cutting wood. Julia huffily

trudged back to the house.
Entering the kitchen, she picked up the schedule and

began to read it. Her eyes widened, as she could not

believe her eyes.

Schedule for Julia

Wake 4:00 a.m.

Help with milking cows

Get breakfast

Get water from lake

Teach kids

Make lunch

Clean house

Get dinner

Do laundry
Four in the morning! Julia could not believe what she

was reading. Never getting up that early in her life she

wondered at the nerve of this man. If he was just

trying to be mean she couldn’t understand it.
She hadn’t considered that being a governess and a

housekeeper would require this much work; setting the

children down to their milk and cookies, she went to

her room. Falling heavily on her bed, she put the note

to her forehead.
Depression almost wrapped its’ arms around her but

she fought it and placed the problem clearly in front of

her. It was her way of reaching deep within herself and

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it helped her to face the problems she felt were

insurmountable.
She listed the facts in her mind. This was a ranch

located in the wilderness. There were no maids and

butlers to take on the more mundane jobs in the

house. Travis was paying her and expected her to be

capable of doing this work.
Groaning at her ignorance and impetuous nature she

figured she would just let depression do its’ worst.

Then remembering her Uncle Paddy’s words about not

quitting, she set her shoulders and decided to face this

challenge as she had faced all others. She looked up

toward the ceiling and made a vow to her lost uncle.
“I’ll do it for you Uncle Paddy; I’ll show you I can.”
It would become a challenge to show Travis Parnell

what she could do. What she didn’t quite understand

was why it mattered so much.

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 7

Each day began with a new challenge and Julia looked

at her problems as exactly that...challenges. She was

proving her mettle to Travis. He could not complain

about one thing she was doing and after three weeks

he wondered what he would do without her. Travis

never regretted his decision in hiring her. Their

relationship became warm, created out of respect for

one another.
Julia brought into the house a life and force he had

never experienced. His children were now enjoying

learning, they worshipped the ground she walked on

and seemed happier than they’d ever been. Because

she picked up the household duties and took care of

the shopping, he could now concentrate on his

business and that made him very happy.
Worrying that she was working too hard, he decided

that one day very soon he was going to do something

special for her. He liked the girl and the relationship

between them had become one of real friendship and

camaraderie. Having mastered his feelings; convinced

she was too young for him to be interested in her, they

had formed a very easy and natural communication.
The special day came quicker than he had anticipated.

It was a beautiful late summer day and the sky and the

ground seemed to melt into one beautiful canvas of

continuous perfection. Deciding to go visit his friend

Chief Wise Eagle who was camped for the summer near

his home. Travis thought it would be nice to bring Julia

along.
The time had not yet come that the Indians and the

white man were to become mortal enemies but it was

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quickly approaching. Travis, seeing all the signs, was

able to get news from the newspapers. He wanted to

keep Wise Eagle informed of all the changes, trying to

keep the tribe safe as long as possible.
Chief Wise Eagle and Travis became friends when they

met the first summer Travis had moved to Montana. He

was out deer hunting and had come upon the Indian

village. Frightened, wondering how these people would

react to him, he found out that the Indians had become

used to white trappers coming through the area.
A very hospitable people, they asked him to stay with

them for a night. He eagerly took advantage of the

offer; met and became friends with Chief Wise Eagle.

The friendship eventually came to mean a great deal to

both men.
Chief Wise Eagle was of a branch of the Mandan tribe.

Frightened by a smallpox epidemic that killed most of

his people in 1837, Chief Wise Eagle abandoning the

main Mandan tribes fled with his wife and close

relatives and entered into Canada and sometimes

Montana where the white man had not yet claimed a

large presence. They found the land different from

what they were used to but it had plenty of game,

water and it was clean.
Suzanne who had been out of her mind with fear, laid

into Travis when he returned. The next time he took

her with him and even though she never felt

comfortable with the Indians she accorded them the

courtesy of being Travis’s friends. The village became a

second home to him and he loved his visits there.
Travis decided to go tell Julia.
She was washing the dishes as he walked over to her.

He walked slowly towards her observing her

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movements. She worked in confidence and comfortable

peace. She was becoming a woman before his eyes.

Humming as she washed, he observed her long

graceful neck. She had tied her hair up today and

although he liked it long and flowing there was also

something very tantalizing about seeing her neck and

delicate ears and the smooth skin that was exposed.

The hard work and confidence she was gaining from

her new vast store of ranching knowledge were

changing her and signs of maturity and responsibilities

were marking her person.
Clearing his throat to make his presence known. Julia

turned and smiled at him. It always warmed his heart

when he’d see her look at him and smile. She had a

way of making the people she was with feel as if like

they were the most special people in the world.
“I’m going to be riding over to my friend Chief Wise

Eagle and I was thinking to myself how hard you’ve

been working and that maybe you’d like to come and

meet him.” Travis thought, ‘I feel like a schoolboy

asking for a date!’
Julia finished rinsing off her last plate. Glancing at him;

her green eyes widened at the suggestion. “You mean

a real Indian?” He noted hesitancy. “In a real Indian

tribe? Travis is that safe?”
She turned to face him with fear in her eyes. Julia had

heard what every other person west of the Rockies had

heard about. The tall tales about the redskin parties

that had begun to cause problems in many different

areas of the United States.
“Don’t believe everything you hear Julia. Let me show

you that they are people like every one else.” He took

the towel from her hands and laid it on the counter.

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She paused for a moment looking into his eyes as

though she was mentally debating with herself the

practicality of the suggestion. “What about the

children?”
“I’ll get Candy to look after them. “We’ll be back

tomorrow.”
“All right Travis.” Smiling at him, she started to untie

her apron. “I’ll just be a minute.” She ran to her room

and took out a riding dress that her Uncle Paddy had

bought for her. Putting it on she examined herself in

the mirror. Never one to be concerned with her looks

she usually just combed her hair and went about her

business.
Today, however, when she looked in the mirror, a new

person looked out at her. She ran her hand over her

face and noticed that her eyes looked older, her face

was becoming more defined. Pinning some loose curls

that had fallen from her topknot, she pulled some

tendrils out around her face. It wasn’t a bad looking

face, she decided.
She was starting to feel like a woman. Instead of

youthful rebellion and idealist yearnings, she was

becoming use to prioritizing her day, managing the

household the best she could. She was proving to

everyone that although she was young, she was very

capable.
Enjoying the children more than anyone would know,

sometimes she would sit and watch them play

wondering what it would be like to have one of her

own. Lately she found herself wanting to hold a baby in

her arms, giving it all the love she had never received.

Instead she lavished her love on Travis’s children and

they reveled in it.

Soul Cry of the Heart

Standing in front of the mirror, she thought over these

things and shook her head. “Maybe this will be good for

me.” She said to herself. “I am getting fanciful!”

Finishing with her packing, she raced out of her

bedroom and went to meet Travis at the barn.
Candy had saddled Travis’s horse Killer and a spunky

brown and white Appaloosa for Julia. They were

packing supplies when Julia entered the barn. She

noticed Candy saddling the Appaloosa. Walking up to

the horse, she patted the animal’s soft coat.
“What’s her name?” The horse nickered gently.
“Sissy.” Candy replied.
“I hope that doesn’t mean she is a sissy.” Julia

laughed. “I’ve been riding since I was nigh to a

grasshopper.”
“Well you haven’t ridden in this type of country.”

Travis’s eyebrows rose. He looked at her, his brown

eyes hard with warning.
Looking inquiringly over at Travis and Candy she

asked.
“What’s so different in this country?” Julia started to

mount Sissy while Candy and Travis looked at each

other and sighed.
There had been a debate between Travis and Candy

before Julia appeared whether it was appropriate for

her to accompany Travis on this trip with both her

safety and respectability in question. Travis had won

saying that she was too ornery for anything to tempt

its’ fate with her and as far as her respectability, he

assured Candy that he’d hired her for his kids pleasure

not his.
Handing Julia a rifle, Travis asked her.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“Have you used one of these?” Julia looked at the rifle

then to him.
Cautiously she answered.
“Yes, my Uncle taught me how to shoot.”
“Targets I suppose.” There was a sneer in his voice.
Julia saw another challenge.
“Yes, Travis, targets, but I bet I could keep up with

you!” Travis laughed half believing her.
“Well, we’ll see about that little girl.”
Giving her the rifle, he told her to put it in her

saddlebag. Expertly settling himself on his horse he

pulled the reins to the right and nudged Killer to a

canter.
“Let’s go.”
Julia settling herself on Sissy followed Travis watching

the back of his head. She thought about sticking her

tongue out at him but instead she rebelliously

whispered under her breath. “Little girl.” Tired of him

treating her like she was some baby, she lifted her chin

defiantly and said to herself. “I’ll show you a few

things; Mr. Travis Parnell.” Then the thought occurred

to her that they were going on this trip alone and her

confidence suddenly lost itself in shocked realization.
The warm sun beat upon the shoulders of the two

riders and Julia wished she had worn a hat. The pace

they kept was comfortable and Julia drank in the

scenery.
“Travis, I don’t think I have ever seen such beautiful

county.”
“I think this is just about the best country in the

world.” He looked over at Julia and smiled foolishly.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“What are you looking at me like that for.”
“I don’t know. Just like looking at you.” Julia's cheeks

blushed a delicate pink.
“Well thank you Travis. That is the nicest thing you

have said to me.”
“I guess I am kind of a hard nose aren’t I”
“Well, I thought so at first but now you don’t scare me

much.” Julia smiled smugly.
Travis figured this would be a good time to get to know

Julia better.
“This Uncle of yours, he taught you a lot didn’t he?”

Travis reined his horse Killer next to Sissy.
“Yes he did.” Julia gazed over at Travis who looked so

handsome and capable on his beautiful black stallion.

“He was the one who raised me. He felt like I needed

to know everything that might have to take me

through life.”
“Where was your ma? Or do you mind my asking?”

Travis didn’t want to pry too much. He noticed the pain

that flitted over her expressive face. There was a

moment of silence and Julia wondered to herself how

much she should indulge to her friend.
“My mother wasn’t interested in being a mother so she

left the raising of me to my Uncle Paddy.”
“And where is your Uncle Paddy now?” Looking at her,

Travis knew the answer but just wanted her to tell him.
“He died not too long ago.”
Julia looked straight ahead of her so he would not see

the tears in her eyes. Travis, hearing the story from

Julia herself admired her even more now that he knew.

Soul Cry of the Heart

Being thrown out into the world without anyone to hold

onto, this young wisp of a girl taken the reins of life

and directed a new course for herself. Travis knew

what her pain felt like and a kindred feeling started to

ignite within him. He was glad to be part of her rescue.
“Must be hard to be on your own with no one to help

you.” Travis looked at her thoughtfully.
“Well I’m not really alone. I mean I have you and

Augusta and Candy and the children. I never really

think about it.”
Travis looked at her sun flushed face knowing that it

would probably burn by the afternoon. Reaching into

his saddlebag he pulled out a piece of cloth. “Here put

this on. You’re going to need it before the day is out. It

isn’t much but it will shade your face. Handing it to

Julia, she saw it was a woman’s cloth bonnet.
“Why thank you Travis. She tied the ribbons into a neat

bow under her chin, Travis’s heart wrenched when he

remembered who had worn it last.
“Always ready to be at your service.”
“Seems to me you said that once before.” Looking at

each other they both remembered the way they met.
“We sure gave the town a big laugh that day didn’t

we?” Travis chuckled at the remembrance.
“Well it seems like I gave you a big laugh.” Julia dryly

retorted. “By the way how long is it going to take to

get to the Indian village?”
“Well, if the weather holds up, we should be there

tomorrow morning.”
Julia gasped. “You mean we will have to camp out here

alone before we get there?”

Soul Cry of the Heart

“What’s the matter? Afraid of me?” Travis said

teasingly.
“You?” She blushed in the truthfulness of his question.

“Of course not. I was thinking of bears.
“Bears!” ‘Of all things to be scared of.’ He thought.

“Hell, what are you scared of bears for?”
“Well I heard they can come into a camp and without

warning, rip a person apart.” Julia’s eyes were as big

as her imagination.
“Honey,” Travis looked at her in amusement. “The

truth is, is that they are just as scared of us as we are

of them. There’s only one bear bad enough for a

person to be scared of. That’s old Marlowe.
“Who is old Marlowe?”
“He’s a bear that comes down around this time of the

year and wrecks havoc on the farms around here.”
“Is, is he around here now?” Julia’s eyes began

searching the landscape.
“Could be.” Travis’s eyes looked over at Julia to see her

expression. She looked as scared as a mouse cornered

by a cat. Then all of a sudden, she straightened up in

her saddle. “Oh pooh.” She said. “I’ve got you and your

trusted rifle. What’s to worry about.”
Travis just looked at her and shook his head. There

was never a dull moment with Julia.
At the same moment his eyes were seeing her with a

new respect, a deer leaped out of the bushes and

jumped into view spooking Killer who was a very high

strung horse. Catching Travis off guard, the horse

screamed and reared up knocking him to the ground.

Julia trying to rein in Sissy who was now circling in

confusion heard Travis yell out to try to get the deer

Soul Cry of the Heart

who was standing in confusion wondering what it

should do. Unfortunately, the hesitancy gave Julia just

enough time to settle her horse. Grabbing the gun from

her saddlebag, she took quick aim and with a steady

finger shot the deer directly between its eyes. The deer

stood there for a second staring at her, then jerked and

fell to the ground.
Travis who was still on the ground, looked from the

deer to the girl and back again. With a big grin on his

face he turned and looked at Julia.
“I’ll be darned, did he teach you to do that?
Julia breathless with her victory, answered with pride.
“Sure did.” She set the rifle next to her in a pose.
Picking himself up from the ground Travis dusted

himself off. Walking over to the deer he took a knife

out of his boot. Deftly and quickly, he sliced the deer’s

neck and blood started pouring out.
Glancing over at Julia, he saw she had become as

white as a sheet. Turning the horse and walking away,

she bent over and gagged. Travis chuckled; amused

that one so fiesty could be so weak of stomach.
Waiting for a few minutes until the animal bled out,

and giving Julia time to recover, Travis picked up the

deer and attached it onto Killer to be a gift for the

tribe. Looking over at Julia with another newfound look

of admiration he said,
“You know you will be honored tomorrow at the feast.

You’re quite a girl Julia.” Reveling in the compliment

Julia grinned back at Travis. She liked being admired

and nothing on this earth was going to make her leave

Montana now.

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 8

Travis and Julia, with the horses prancing along at an

easy pace, happy to be out in wide-open spaces carried

the two travelers with ease. Travis made sure to show

Julia special places and historical markers along the

way. It was late afternoon when they decided to stop

for the day. They picked a spot near a running stream

and a big cottonwood tree to supply water and some

well-needed shade.
Climbing down from the horses, Travis led them to a

grazing and watered area while Julia set up the lunch

Candy packed for them. “We’re making good time.

Travis casually remarked. “We should be there

sometime tomorrow morning.” Julia looked around at

the landscape. She hadn’t expected to spend the night

out here. “Don’t you think this is a little too open for us

to stay safe?” She asked.
“Naw it’s perfect. As long as we put all the food away

and up off the ground and clean up after ourselves,

nothing is going to try to hurt us. I’ve done it countless

times before.” Travis walked up to Julia and sat down.
Julia looked around indecisively. Where would she

bathe; where would she perform her toilet functions?

She felt trapped and helpless in this new situation.

Nervously, she questioned Travis.
“Where do we, um bathe, um and other things?”
Travis hooted with laughter. “Hell honey, we are in the

frontier. You don’t think of bathing here!”
“You don’t?” Julia looked at him in shock. “You mean

the whole time we are gone, we aren’t going to bathe?”

Soul Cry of the Heart

Exasperated at himself for bringing her than at her

ignorance, Travis decided to ease her discomfort. “Look

Julia, if you really want to bathe, you can bathe in the

creek. I won’t look and you can have your privacy. Will

that make you happy?”
Julia looked at him skeptically. “As I recall, you had a

problem with peeping when I first came here. Will you

keep to your word like a gentleman?”
Travis nodded his head.
“Then I think I’d like to stay here Travis. I don’t think I

could ride another mile. A certain part of me is really

sore.”
“If you want I could rub some liniment on for you.”

Travis smiled wickedly, then laughed heartily when he

saw Julia’s mortified expression.
Sunset announced itself with a parade of purple and

pink hues coloring the sky. Julia was taking her bath

quietly humming to herself. Travis, who was bound and

determined to keep his promise, had his back to her

busily tying the deer up a big tree hoping that no

predator would smell it tonight.
All of a sudden he heard a shriek loud enough to wake

the dead. Turning around with gun in hand, he saw

Julia with her bare backside jumping in the water

flailing her arms and shaking her leg. Running to the

bank of the creek, he leaned on his gun and started

roaring with laughter. A large crawdad had attached

himself onto her big toe. Julia trying to cover herself

and deal with the freshwater crustacean was just too

much for Travis.
“Hey honey, looks like you have a problem.” He called

out enjoying the view.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“Travis, would you please stop gawking and help me?”

She was red with mortification. Jumping into the water,

Travis pulled the crawdad from her toe. He could see

fresh blood running free. Picking her up, he carried her

to their campsite. Covering her with a blanket he went

to his saddlebag and took out a few items. He knelt

down beside her. “Never leave without these.” He had

some whiskey and bandages. Taking her delicate foot

he poured the whiskey onto the wound. Seeing her

wince he blew on the wound and then began to

bandage it. When he was done he sat down and put his

arm around her. “Hey this is just between us. I won’t

tell anyone Julia.” Chuckling again in remembrance, he

added. “I don’t think anyone would believe me

anyway.” The two of them started to laugh and when

the laughter was over, the atmosphere between them

turned deep and warm. Passion created a longing and

a need.
Touching her hair, Travis again melted in his attraction

for the copper haired beauty. “You are so very beautiful

Julia.” He caressed her chin and then lightly ran his

fingers over her lips. Drawing her to him, he kissed her

gently.
Julia never questioned Travis’s intention. It was like

part of her was always his. The closeness of their

spirits left no room for embarrassment or inhibition.

She was not afraid of his intimacy or the suggestion of

indecency. She only knew she wanted this and there

was nothing indecent about it.
Julia melted at his touch. Her head fell back and Travis

then began kissing her throat with small little licks of

his tongue. The fire that grew in her body turned her

wanton and helpless with every move he made.

Shoving the blanket aside, her legs began to twist

Soul Cry of the Heart

themselves around him. She felt his hands caress her

breasts causing her to convulse inside of the part of

her body she wanted him so desperately to touch.

Soon his hands started to travel down her belly to her

long legs.
“Travis. Oh Travis.” Julia moaned in her ecstasy.
“Suzanne.” Travis whispered as he nuzzled Julia’s neck.

Julia stiffened and sat up. She looked at him

questioningly. Travis realized his error and blushed

furiously.
“I’m sorry. I……Oh God, forgive me.” He put his face in

his hands. “Julia, I’m so sorry. I promised myself this

would not happen.”
Julia wrapped the blanket around herself, picked up her

clothes and started toward some bushes to dress. She

turned suddenly and spoke over her shoulder.
“I don’t know who Suzanne is, but she is a very lucky

woman.”
When she was gone, Travis wondered to himself how

he was going to ever explain this to Julia.
“I guess we better get to sleep.” It’s been a long day.”

Julia appeared out of the bushes fully dressed. She

went to get her bedroll and shook it unrolling it onto

the ground.
“Julia, I’m.” Travis tried to speak but she stopped him

with the raising of her hand.
“It’s alright Travis. It was wrong. We hardly know one

another and our physical closeness got in the way. It

happens. Let’s just forget it and call it a night ok?”

Julia’s smile relaxed his fears.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“Sure. Ok.” Travis started to unroll his bedroll. “I’ll

keep far away ok?” He heard Julia laughing. “What’s so

funny?” He asked smiling himself.
“I ddddon’t kkknow.” Julia could hardly get the words

out she was laughing so hard. “It’s jjjust that we

ssseem to ggget ourselves in such pickles!” She started

howling in laughter. Travis started laughing

uncontrollably also.
“Yeah from manure to sex!” They both convulsed in

recharged laughter. That is how the two of them eased

the situation and eventually fell asleep in the wilds of

primitive Montana.

~~~

The sun rose eagerly and full of energy trying to warm

the chill in the air. Dew covered the two sleepers and it

was hard to get out of the coziness of their covers.

After a quick breakfast and packing of supplies, the two

were on their way.
After they had ridden about 5 miles, they approached a

slight ridge that overlooked another ridge much lower

than the one they were on. Looking down onto flat

landscape below, Julia saw mounds popping up from

ground as if someone had planned hills in a meticulous

order in the normally flat land area. The mounds of the

Indian village, sprawled out amongst the firs like

miniature hills dotting the landscape. The figures of the

Indians were like ants going to a fro.
A body of water nestled itself next to the tribe with

many inlet creeks winding their way through the tribe.

Julia grew breathless with excitement and fear. She felt

her body start to tremble as they approached the

village.

Soul Cry of the Heart

Leading the horses down the ridge, Travis and Julia

finally reached the small settlement. It seemed like

everyone in the vicinity; the young and old lined up to

greet the couple as they approached. The people

smiling in greeting spoke in an unintelligible language

creating an excited clamor. Dogs barked while the

children ran around Travis expecting a handout of

candy he almost always brought. Reaching into his

saddlebag he threw out handfuls of the candy he had

picked up at the mercantile on one of his visits to

Mournful. It brought back memories of Marla Pearson’s

statement to him as he luxuriated in her fancy feather

bed.
“Travis honey, their little bellies are going to hurt.”

“They’re made different.” “They can’t eat human food.”

He remembered he had looked at her with disbelief and

shook his head at her ignorance, which she dispelled

very quickly by showing him where her intelligence was

of genius proportion. She could take all reason from a

man if she wanted to as she had shown him many

times.
Little by little since Julia had arrived, Travis found it

less necessary to travel to Mournful to see Marla. Julia

seemed to provide the feminine stimulation that he

really wanted. The physical with Marla was fun but

somehow was becoming less important.
Marla was well aware of the situation at the Parnell

household, but she had to be very careful how she was

going to handle this problem.

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 9

With the image forever imprinted in her mind, Julia

watched as Chief Wise Eagle walked forward to greet

them. Walking with a grace and litheness that only an

outdoors person has developed. Chief Wise Eagle had a

regalness that reminded her of an old sage of biblical

times. The wisdom that emanated from his dark eyes

proved to her that his name was definitely appropriate.
The chief, dressed in a doe skin shirt elaborately

decorated with beads and glass, was a very handsome

man. Julia figured he was near Travis’s age; perhaps a

little older. Extremely beautiful eagle paintings adorned

the shirt panels that filled a strong and wide chest. His

white hair was braided and intertwined in the braids

were feathers and different colored ribbons or rawhide.
He greeted Travis as a brother; warmly looking into his

eyes. Both men put their hands on each other’s

shoulders.
“Welcome brother.” The chief spoke in perfect English.

“It has been a long time.”
“Too long my brother.” Travis then turned to Julia.
Chief Wise Eagle looked at Julia with interest. Smiling

he nodded his head.
“You have taken a wife. She looks strong and young;

she should bear you many children.”
Travis and Julia looked at one another with

embarrassment.
“This is not my wife, brother. This is Julia Carwood and

she has come to take care of my children. I brought

her here to meet my friend. It was she who has

brought you the present of the deer.”

Soul Cry of the Heart

Travis went and cut the deer from Killer’s back, and

then returned to the group and laid it at the Chief’s

feet. The Chief turned to Julia renewing his look with

amazement.
“One so small and young has the courage and skill of a

young brave. We will have to find you a new name to

celebrate the spirit within you.”
Putting his arm around her shoulders, he

conspiratorially whispered to her.
“Many braves will want to know who you are. You will

dance with us. We will have a feast in your honor.”

Julia shyly stole a quick look at the Indian and he

winked at her.
The chief signaled his women to take care of Julia while

he and Travis retired to his lodge to discuss the latest

news. Julia looked a little scared but Travis nodded to

her that it would be all right and she trusted him that it

would be so.
Several women, some beautiful and statuesque led

Julia to their lodge. They tittered and chattered along

the way fingering her hair and skin. Never having seen

a white woman with copper colored hair and such white

skin; they considered her with wonder. Approaching a

mound of earth that looked like a cave with a log

entrance, the women stopped and quieted when a tall

woman, stepped out of it.
She was older but still beautiful and commanded

attention the minute she appeared. Her hair was very

long and plaited down on side of her head and her eyes

were almost black but very expressive. She was very

much like Wise Eagle in her bearing and almost

charismatic power. A young girl came up to Julia and

spoke in English.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“Her name is Clear Waters. She is the great

granddaughter to Lomala the Spirit Mother.” Julia could

not take her eyes off the woman.
“Lomala of the legend of Lake of Good Tears?” The

Indian girl nodded in affirmation. She looked at Julia,

pleased that the girl had some knowledge of the

people. Turning to Clear Waters Julia smiled at the

Indian woman. The woman smiled at her and signaled

Julia to enter the lodge. Clear Waters motioned for all

the other women to leave.
Entering the lodge Julia felt as if like she had walked

off the face of the earth to another place and time.

Inside the lodge there were four main posts holding up

the log ceiling. There was an opening in the ceiling

which Julia figured was a smoke outlet and fresh air

opening.
Buffalo hides laid on certain parts of the dirt floor as

rugs and a beautiful black wolf with gold eyes raised its

head when Julia and Clear Waters approached. Upon

their arrival he rose and walked up to Julia, who was

holding her breath wondering what this animal was

going to do to her. Sniffing her to see if she had an

appropriate scent, he made it clear that Clear Waters

was in his protection; he lifted the side of his muzzle

and barely showing his teeth he growled low under his

breath. Turning around he walked back to his rug,

circled and curled into a ball. Julia breathing a sigh of

relief continued her observation of the area around her.
It wasn’t so much what was in the lodge, but the

feeling that emanated from it. As though the ages of

time had lived in the mud made home. There was a

large fire in the middle and bags of certain scents and

condiments were hanging above it. Bowls and other

accouterments set aside for continual use lay next to

Soul Cry of the Heart

the fire and a pot of simmering water hung on a

peaked grate that stood over the fire. The smoke that

seemed to envelop the room but didn’t offend the

senses seemed filled with every scent in the place.
Beautifully beaded bags and blankets hung about.

Bundles of animal skins used to sit or sleep on circled

their way around the lodge. Clear Waters motioned

Julia to sit. Clear Waters sat next to her and picked up

a stick and silently stirred the fire. Putting the stick

down, she turned to Julia.
“You are a woman child of great courage, Julia

Carwood. I have read that in your eyes.” Julia

transfixed by the person and sensations around her,

finally managed to get her voice to say something.

“You speak English?”
Clear Waters smiled.
“When Travis first came here, he taught the chief to

speak English. It was important to the chief that some

of us knew how to speak your language so we would

understand the language of the white men. Travis has

been very important to us as a friend. His name among

us is White Wolf; very rare and valuable. Are you his

woman?”
Julia blushed and shook her head. “No.” She turned red

with embarrassment. “I am not his woman. I am a

teacher to his children and keep his house. That is all.”
“But that is not all you want to be?” Clear Water looked

deep into Julia’s eyes and saw the truth.
Julia shook her head and looked into the fire.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. He is not an

easy man to understand.” Clear Water smiled and

handed Julia some root tea that she had been brewing.

Soul Cry of the Heart

“Travis burns with a hurt that he will not let heal. I will

pray that you will help heal his sorrow. When he heals,

he will see with clear eyes and both you and he will

know what you want. It may take some time but if you

are patient, you will see what time will bring.” Clear

Water raised both her hands and fanned the smoke

towards her face. The scents of the herbs exploded

around them.
“What is the sorrow you speak of Clear Water?” Julia

set her tea down to cool. She was eager to hear about

Travis.
Clear Waters breathed in deeply and then exhaled as

though her story was a ponderous one to tell.
“Travis mourns the loss of love. I know nothing more

than that. He is a man who has lost much. Because of

his hurt, he has sheltered himself from feeling; fearing

that if he allows himself to love he will hurt again.”

Clear Water touched Julia’s hand. “It will be all right.

Perhaps you will be the one to heal his heart. Please

drink. It will clear the mind and help with the fatigue of

the ride. Because of the feast, we have a long night

ahead of us.”
In silence the women drank the tea; then as though

they had known each other for a long time they

chattered about life and duties while they prepared

themselves for the feast.

Soul Cry of the Heart

CHAPTER 10

It was evening and the anticipation of the night was

becoming apparent by the increased energy level all

the people of the tribe exhibited trying to finish the

preparations before the feast started.
A big bonfire prepared in the center of the village blew

sparks into the velvety black sky and the children ran

about as only children excited by festivities can do.

Julia felt excited also. She was beginning to enjoy

herself immensely.
The women were treating her like a princess. Leading

her to a hot spring, they bathed Julia in scented herbs

and oils that smelled of the beautiful scents of the

great outdoors. Undressing her they expressed shock

at her nude body because it was so different from

theirs. Acutely embarrassed by being the center of

everyone’s attention Julia slipped into the warm spring

water. Relaxing in its warmth, she wondered if Travis

was getting the same treatment.
Relishing the water’s warmth and comfort, Julia also

spent some time recalling everything she had heard

about these people. She would never have the same

feelings again. In her opinion, they were the kindest

people she had ever met. In some people’s minds they

were heathen and unclean, but the kindness in their

eyes and their friendly and hospitable manner showed

their true character.
After she had soaked for an appropriate time, the

women pulled her out and led her to another lodge.
Dressing her in a pure white deer skin dress with

twisted fringe hanging from the shoulders and hemline,

they honored Julia with beautiful beaded moccasins.

Soul Cry of the Heart

Because her hair was so different, they let it go free

and unfettered but had entwined beads and feathers on

the sides of her head that accentuated her beautiful

green eyes. Accenting her cheekbones and upper

forehead with a gold tinged paint they finished the

transformation. No longer an attractive although plain

clothed girl, Julia was a beautiful Indian maiden that to

all accounts was going to have a time fending off the

men.
The feast was in full swing when Clear Water and Julia

stepped into the festivities. Clear Water made sure that

the timing was right. She wanted Travis to see Julia in

her new vision when he was ready.
The smoke was thick and the scent of cooking filled the

air with mouth watering imaginations. The black sky

monopolized with a large full moon loomed above

them. Millions of stars looking like speckles of fireflies

hovering in the air beamed down on the tribe while the

light of the fire animated the drawings on the clothing

of the people.
The firelight from the bonfire flickered this way and

that over the artwork and then it leaped upwards

revealing dancing branches on the trees that towered

over all the camp. Occasionally a wisp of a cloud would

pass over the moon or a bird would fly by and the

sights and wonders were a feast in itself to Julia. All

around her were beautiful Indian people laughing and

dancing and doing all the same things white people did

at festivities.
As Julia walked closer into the crowd many Indian

braves eyed her in the same way men over the ages

eyed women who struck their fancy and lust. The

dreamlike environment captured her imagination and

she melted into the fantasy relishing the release it

Soul Cry of the Heart

100

gave her from reality. Her senses became one with the

drum beats and the monotonous chanting of the

Indians.
Travis saw Julia being led to a place of honor next to

the chief. He could not keep his eyes from her. She

was beautiful. No longer his employee or a young girl

child, she was an Indian goddess who tantalized his

every vision. Chief Wise Eagle, not missing Travis’s

expression, motioned for her to sit between himself

and Travis. Then sitting down himself he waited to see

what would happen next.
The Chief and Clear Water had had many discussions of

Travis and they knew what he needed but could not

help a friend if the friend didn’t think he needed help.

Chief Wise Eagle along with his mother Owl Woman

helped Travis during his sorrow over losing Suzanne.

Their respect for him knew no bounds but they knew

he could go no farther without releasing his fear of

love. Chief Wise Eagle looked over at Julia and saw the

love in her eyes.
She was looking at Travis with admiration and desire.

Julia couldn’t stop herself but stared at the man, who

dressed in Indian finery, was the handsomest man she

had ever seen. He was watching the dancing with the

lopsided smile she had become used to. The firelight

danced upon his features, accentuating different views

of his face; all of which she loved.
Travis was dressed in a soft doeskin shirt that was

open at the chest. It was sleeveless so his large arms

were bare. She could see the muscles ripple when he

reached for something to eat. His breeches decorated

in fringe and bead on the outer edges, molded

perfectly to his well-muscled long legs. His hair was

Soul Cry of the Heart

101

also free flowing and if she had not known him, she

would have thought he was an Indian braves himself.
The drum beats changed and the people of the tribe

gathered in a big circle around the fire. Some rushed

up to Julia and grabbed her hands to come and join

them. Usually embarrassed to do things like that, Julia

jumped up and enthusiastically joined them.
Starting a shuffle going counter clockwise, Julia saw

how they allowed their bodies to go freely to the music

and the beat. She allowed herself to relax and be led

by the passion within her. One by one the women each

picked a man and he came and danced on the outside

of her.
Boldly flirting and touching was accepted during this

dance only. Strictly guarded by the elders, if a dancer

got too unruly they would receive a smack with a whip

bringing them back to a reasonable decorum.
Julia, not understanding the customs, did not pick a

male. Many braves would have loved to have her pick

them but they did not know her relationship to Travis.

Courtesy prevailed and they waited to see if she would

pick him.
Unabashedly swaying to the music, she closed her eyes

turned her head to the sky. Her copper hair swaying

back and forth was a sight to see. Chief Wise Eagle

looked over at Travis who was watching her with desire

in his eyes.
“She does not know the custom of our people Travis.

She is your ward. You should dance with her to protect

her. She is a beautiful young girl filled with much

passion. Many of our males are going to request it of

me if you do not.”

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Fighting with his desire, Travis could no longer resist

the pull of his need to be near her. Picking himself up

he walked over to where she was and took her hands

in his. Startled out of her reverie, she looked at Travis

and smiled at him. Together with their eyes locked

they shuffled with the rest of the group oblivious to

anyone around them. Travis put his hands around her

waist and when they were on the other side of the

camp he pulled her out of the dance and led her to an

area near the creek.
“Travis, what is it?” She turned to him, mesmerizing

him with her questioning emerald eyes. “Where are we

going?” Travis took a hold of her hand and pulled her

to him.
“You are so beautiful. I just wanted to spend sometime

with you alone Julia” Julia looked up at him, the

moonlight framing their faces in a portrait neither

would ever forget.
“Oh Travis. Thank you so much for bringing me here.

These are truly wonderful people.”
His eyes roamed all over her face imprinting it time

and time again in his mind. Her beautiful sparkling

eyes and copper hair, the pert nose and defiant chin

and her red full lips.
His face came down to hers and their lips met; gently,

lightly. He then began kissing her face and neck and

then again to her lips but now more forceful and

prodding. Julia thought her world could never be

sweeter than it was at this moment.
Giving in to her desire, the kiss became a foreplay of

things to come. Travis’s hands burrowed into the hair

and brought her face closer to him. Her arms slid

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around his neck playing with his ears and her hands;

caressing his neck. Their kisses begged for more.
Then just as suddenly as sit had started, he pushed her

away from him. Shocked and frustrated she looked at

him her eyes begging for a reason for so abruptly

stopping something so wonderful.
“Travis did I do something wrong?” She started to cry

and went and sat down by the creek. Travis walked

over to her and knelt down beside her; his warm brown

eyes were filled with pain and something else. Julia

thought she detected fear.
“Julia, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It was

so wrong.” Julia looked at him her eyes registering hurt

and questioning.
“Why Travis. Why shouldn’t you have done that? Is it

so wrong to love?”
Travis jumped up and then turned to face her.
“You don’t understand,” he yelled at her as one in

agony. “I owe it to myself to be faithful. I am not able

to do this.”
He turned and left her and returned to his seat at the

feast. Chief Wise Eagle saw the look in his eyes and

sighed. He loved his friend but did not understand the

bondage of loyalty he had to a dead wife. After a few

minutes Julia returned to the feast and sat on the other

side of Chief Wise Eagle. The dream like trance of the

feast was no more.
When the dance was over, Chief Wise Eagle stood and

all music stopped. He spoke in a loud and commanding

voice.
“My people, it is an honor to have our brother Travis

and sister Julia Carwood here with us tonight. Travis

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has a place with our family and has a place with us

among the people. Now we must honor Julia as the

provider of our feast.” He turned to Julia and offered

her his hand.
“Julia, come and stand with me.”
Julia stepped up to the chief and he turned her so she

was facing the people of the tribe. A figure dressed in a

cloak with a large feathered headdress started walking

toward her His face was impassive.
His dark eyes mirrored the fire and its brightness

reflected itself in the gold paint that covered his

forehead. There were drawings on his chest and Julia

wondered what they meant. Holding some kind of

scepter in his hand the Indian Medicine Man started

chanting and singing.
Attached to his wrists were turkey feather fans. The

fans were decorated with rawhide fringe with bull tails

hanging from the back of the fans. He then began

dancing around a cedar post structure that was in the

center of the village.
Clear Waters had explained to Julia that the structure

was sacred. The structure known as the Numokh

Mukana or Lone Man was very significant. Lone Man

was like the white man’s Maho Peneta or Great Spirit

Jesus.
The legend said that Lone Man saved the people from a

great flood that covered the whole earth. He built a

wooden stockade which magically held back all the

water.
Persecuted by another being known as Maninga or

Maho Penekheka meaning evil spirit, Maninga came as

the flood. Lone Man thought and thought how he could

win against the spirit that was against his people. He

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decided to lure Maninga to the stockade appealing to

his greed.
Throwing the most beautiful shells he could find over

the stockade, Maninga’s eyes lit up at the beauty of the

stones. Being a greedy spirit, Maninga stopped the

flood to get the shells but he could not reach the shells

with the water being so deep. Commanding it to

recede, the ravaging force of the receding water swept

Maninga away to the bowels of the earth never to be

seen again.
The medicine man took a pouch that was hanging on

his arm and reached into it. Throwing some sort of

powder into the fire, it exploded and sent sparks flying

while emitting squealing sounds.
Julia startled out of her reverie, looked around the

camp. Every face focused on the medicine man’s

movements that were now becoming slower and

graceful and quieter. As if signaled by an unseen

conductor, the medicine man stopped; in concert with

him so did the drumbeat. Everything came to a halt

and the medicine man stood still and cocked his head

as if he was listening for something to happen. The

only sound heard was the crackling of the fire and the

rustling wind through the branches of the pine trees.
Everyone jumped as an eerie call echoed through the

forest. It was almost a wail more than a call. Lone and

mournfully it sang out into the dark night. The

medicine man slowly straightened up, turned, walked

up to Chief Wise Eagle and whispered something in his

ear. Chief Wise Eagle stood up and faced his people.
“The spirits have spoken. The loon has cried out its’

voice to seal its’ spirit with Julia. She has become one

with it. Her new name will be Crying Bird Woman of the

Lake. She will be a deliverer. As the Loon delivered us

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through her call to show us this land, Julia will be a

deliverer to those around her.”
The medicine man approached holding a bag in his

hands. Tying the bag around her neck; the Medicine

Man uttered some words and threw powdered dust

upon Julia. After the powdering, the people of the tribe

got up and started to cheer.
The festivities began again and everyone, out of

respect to Julia, came up to congratulate her. Looking

back at Travis to see if he would share in the happiness

of her honor, Julia’s face fell when she saw he was no

longer there.
Much later when the feasting was over and Julia lay in

warm bedding in Clear Waters lodge, she looked in the

bag that the medicine man had given her. It contained

what she figured were the feathers of a loon, a

beautiful rock with a brilliant gold color, and some

herbs. Decorated on a pebble was a perfect picture of a

loon.
Cradling the bag to her chest Julia replayed in her mind

all the happenings of the night. Never really feeling a

part of anything; she felt more welcomed by these

people than she ever had. It felt good to belong.
Wondering where Travis went caused her to ponder on

what had happened tonight. Feelings and emotions she

had never experienced before came back to her in vivid

remembrance. Nervous about seeing Travis tomorrow,

she fell asleep wondering what would happen in the

morning.

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CHAPTER 11

Early in the morning Clear Waters woke Julia up

shaking her gently. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes

Julia hated to move from the warmth of her blankets.
“It is time to leave.” Clear Waters said as she handed

Julia a cup of tea. “Travis has come for you.” A sigh

escaped from Julia and she knew she would have to

face Travis this morning no matter what.
“I have asked him for a small amount of time with

which to say good-bye.” She smilingly, handed Julia a

deerhide pouch filled with several items. “It is with

pleasure that I give you this. It has things in it that will

be memories of our time with you; the dress you wore

last night, some jewelry, the moccasins and some good

luck charms.” The smile left her face when she looked

into the eyes of Julia. Knowing what had happened last

night, she knew the girl might be apprehensive having

to face Travis this morning.
She also knew where Travis had gone during the feast.

He had gone to see Owl Woman the oldest member of

the tribe. The woman was too old to attend the

festivities and was readying herself for the long winter

of sleep. This was the year for her to meet the Great

Spirit. No longer able to eat well and full of pain she

had already said good-bye to her family and had given

away most of her possessions. She and Travis had

formed a close relationship over the years and she had

acted as a mother mentor for Travis in his deepest time

of sorrow.
Clear Waters tried to comfort Julia. “Do not be afraid,

Crying Bird Woman of the Lake. The loon spirit is

powerful. They are small but they are strong and

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fiercely territorial and when they mate it is forever. It

is with instinct that they live their life as with all things.

Learn to understand your heart and it will lead you in

the right direction.” Julia smiled gratefully at Clear

Waters. She had found a sister and a friend and no

matter what happened between her and Travis she

knew she would always have Clear Waters and the

people to rely on if she had a need.
Travis was watching the young children play as he was

waiting for Julia. Musing over his visit with Owl Woman

it never failed to amaze him how easily these people

dealt with life. They were one with the earth and

everything had its time and season. Dying was just a

natural part of living. He was thinking about something

else that the old woman had said to him. Smoking her

pipe and looking at him with still amazingly clear

piercing eyes; she had said something totally out of the

ordinary.
“You hang onto death my son. It is like a vise that

holds on to you and keeps you from moving to the left,

then to the right. It is as though your body is stiff with

death and cannot release itself to live again.” She saw

the look of steeled anger in his face but she knew he

was an honest man and was hearing truth and could

not deny it. Trying to ease his anger, she teased him.
“Do you want to stay here this winter and visit the

Maho Peneta with me?” She chuckled and touched his

hand and then raised hers in a quick motion. “Oh my it

is almost as cold as mine!” Cackling again, she started

to cough and the spasms racked her tender body.

Travis knelt over and patted her back. He no longer felt

anger but concern and sadness at the knowledge that

this time next year he would not hear her teasing

admonitions.

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“Old woman gives much advice and never follows it

herself. Where is your medicine I brought you?” She

clucked her tongue and waved him away.
“No use to keep something going that is no longer

worth keeping.” Travis lovingly gazed at the woman

whom he now called mother. Her hair was brilliant

white; still thick and always meticulously braided. Her

frail body crooked with age and arthritis was unable to

allow her to do anything but walk a short distance.

Crags and lines deeply imprinted themselves into her

sun burned age spotted face.
“I am past the time of usefulness. I wish to see my

mother, Long Grass and my husband, Rides with the

Wind. He will be there in all his glory waiting for me. I

have lived a long and good life. There is no end to life,

Travis, unless you end it yourself in your heart.” Travis

nodded his head and taking the old woman’s hands in

his; he looked at her with tears in his eyes.
“I know what you are saying is true mother. I just can’t

seem to make my heart understand so my mind can let

my body be able to feel again.” He looked at her and

the agony she saw in his eyes made her heart hurt.
“You must choose life or death my son.” She gently

advised. “There is no other way. I will pray to Maho

Peneta that He will show you clearly what you must do.
Reaching into her parfleche bag, she brought out an

exquisite necklace intricately designed with brilliant

blue stones with gold rock insets. Some of the blue

stones had complex paintings on them. She handed it

to Travis.
“I want you to have this my son.”
Travis looked at it in amazement understanding its’

value.

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“It is beautiful mother; much too fine for this son.”

Looking at it closer, he said. “This does not look like

Mandan work.” He examined it closer. “Where did you

get this?”
“My husband traded six of his best horses for this to

give to me as a wedding present.” Owl Woman beamed

with pride. “My husband told me he traded for it from a

tribe many moons from here in a land that has nothing

but rocks and sand and red earth. He said these people

build their homes in rock and that the homes are one

on top of the other. I could never imagine such a thing

but my husband said it is so. I want you to have this,

my son. Give it to the woman of your heart. The magic

in it is very strong. My husband and I were in love until

the end.”
“I will mother.” Travis and the old woman hugged one

last time and spoke their farewells. With a heavy heart

Travis left her lodge and retired for the night.
“Travis?” Brought back to reality, Travis turned and

was face to face with Julia. They both stood for a

moment, neither of them knowing what to say. The

strong emotions of last night had not worn down and it

took everything within them not to rush into each

other’s arms and start again. Unfortunately neither one

knew what the other was thinking and hurt feelings

and stubbornness kept communication at bay. Julia

broke the silence.
“Is it time to go?”
“Yes.” Travis took the packages out of her hands.

Gazing out towards the front of the camp he pointed.

“The horses are over there. I guess we better get

going.”

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Leading her to the horses, Travis felt heaviness in his

heart. Travis relished in the freedom these people had.

He also knew, as they knew, that time was merely

waiting for the last catalyst to occur which would seal

their fate in history. Chief Wise Eagle told Travis that it

was time for his people to return to their land. Many of

the Hidatsa based Indians were gathering to unite at

Knife River in North Dakota and they were going to

leave before winter blew in long and cold. It saddened

Travis to think that he would not see these people

again. They had become a second family to him. It was

his place of refuge. A place he had made many happy

memories; where he had made another memory last

night and self destructively ended it.
As Julia and Travis set off for home, the entire tribe

stood and bid them farewell. Waving his or her good-

byes, each person silently said a prayer for the couple’s

safe return.
Chief Wise Eagle and Clear Waters stood side by side.

Their prayer was specific. Seeing the way Travis and

Julia had looked at each other; they prayed that their

hearts would unite.
Travis and Julia self absorbed in nervousness and

enclosed in their thoughts, started their journey home.

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CHAPTER 12

Travis and Julia reached home towards noon. Talk was

sparse and very general. Neither one questioned nor

explained the night before. Theirs was an unspoken

agreement. Silence would be the agreed action

regarding the experience.
Time passed; things went back to the same routine

and life was getting back to normal. Travis and Julia

would never admit it, out of insecurity or pride, but

something had changed. Having crossed the line of

propriety, Travis and Julia could not forget the nights

during the trip to the Indian village. Images sensations

and longings of what the other felt like in each other’s

arms tortured them. The passion they felt when they

had kissed for the first time would jump out at one or

the other while doing a simple deed of the day. Trying

to avoid each other, everyone around them noticed

how the two people had changed toward one another.

Time passed by and the urgency of their passion

disappeared but neither Travis or Julia could forget the

lingering emotions of the events of that night.

Remembrance would come to the mind of one or the

other, causing a private struggle with the pain.
Evening had come to the end of another busy day.

With the dishes washed and the kitchen clean, Julia

was listening to the children read to her. It was getting

colder now and they were sitting on the leather couch

curled up in blankets and pillows. Her eyelids were so

heavy; she could barely keep her eyes open. It had

been a busy day with everyone helping with the wood

stacking and hauling in of supplies for a long winter's

hibernation. Travis told Julia that she had better be

ready to become house bound because the amount of

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snow they got would become burdensome and getting

outside would be a problem.
Travis was not comfortable with this slip of a girl being

able to exist here with the oncoming season of cold,

especially when she had not experienced snow before,

but she was here now and there was nothing he could

do about it. Julia had spent the most part of the day

restocking her larders and pantries and root cellars.

Julia knew as the snow pack grew, they would not be

able to make the trip to Mournful. It was her

responsibility to see that things would run as smooth

as possible for Travis.
Mavis had snuggled herself on Julia’s lap. Breathing

soft and regular, the rhythm lulled Julia to a drowsy

state. David was taking laborious time reading his story

in between the yawns that kept reoccurring during the

storytelling. In a few minutes, they were all asleep.
Travis coming in tired from some late chores stopped

as he viewed the scene in front of him. They were all

sitting together nestled among each other asleep. He

stood for a moment staring at them. It was a feeling he

couldn’t quite identify that caught hold of his heart as

he watched the three of them snuggled up together.
He didn’t blame Julia for falling asleep. The girl had

been working herself to the bone today. The news of

the Harvest Festival was all over the valley. It was six

weeks away and everyone would be going into

Mournful for a weekend of festivities. Travis was

working everyone to his or her limit, as there was still

a great deal of work to do with winter around the

corner. The whole ranch was bustling with the

gathering up of the stores as Julia called it.
Smiling at some of the terms she came up with he

walked toward the trio of sleepers. Picking up Mavis he

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carried her upstairs. He stared down at the child’s face

as he carried her. She looked so much like Suzanne.
Sometimes he would look at Mavis and see something

she’d do that was so much like her mother he would

thank God that at least he still had something of his

wife in his little girl. He set Mavis down on her bed and

gently undressed her. Attempting to tuck her

underneath the covers, she woke up slightly and

wrapped her arms around his thick neck.
“Night pa.” She mumbled.
Travis didn’t experience tenderness a lot but the feel of

the child’s little hand in his as he pulled them from his

neck brought tears to his eyes. He wished she had a

mother to give her the feminine traits she would need

as she got older. Giving her a kiss and telling her

goodnight, he returned to the living room.
Picking up David, he repeated the process and put him
to bed. He ruffled the young boy’s head proud of the

child who would someday inherit whatever Travis

attained in his lifetime. The boy must have been dead

dog-tired. He never woke.
By the time Travis got back downstairs, Julia was

groggily sitting up rubbing her eyes and yawning.

Fingering her hands through her hair, her eyes carried

a sleepy look to them and her skin flushed with the

heat the three bodies had generated was pink and

gleaming in the lamplight.
Travis stood frozen and stared at this person who had

so abruptly entered his life. He had to stop himself

from taking her in his arms and showing her how

beautiful he thought she was. He longed to touch that

lovely skin of hers and possess what he knew to be a

fiery and passionate nature. His craving to kiss that

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wonderful mouth and feel her tenderness within was

more than he could bear. His body reacted to his

thoughts and he immediately hated himself for it. Julia

the innocent sleepily smiled at him.
“Sorry, I guess I am more tired than I thought. I better

go to bed.” She could not understand the look in his

eyes. He looked so strange as he stared at her. She felt

uneasy and almost scared at the passionate glint in his

eyes. He started walking towards her; she started

breathing heavily as he came closer.
The mood suddenly altered as they jerked their heads

toward the kitchen reacting to a crash they heard in

the back of the house. The horses started screaming,

and the cows started bellowing with fear. Looking at

each other in fear and surprise, Travis let out a groan.

He held out his hand and turning his palm toward her

he warned her to stay put.
“Stay here. It’s old Marlowe.” Travis raced to his room

and came back with a rifle that he was quickly loading.
“Travis who is Marlowe?” Julia shaking with tension had

knelt down handing him the leather bag of

ammunition.
“Just my old nemesis.” Travis smiled and looked down

at her frightened face. “He is a grizzly that comes down

through here every fall. Don’t worry everything will be

all right.” He got up to race to the kitchen, calling back

to her he shouted. “Get the other gun that’s in the

hutch in my bedroom and follow me.”
Julia raced to the bedroom and got the gun. Bringing

the gun down to her, she opened up the chamber and

saw ammunition in it. Then she raced out of the room

hoping Travis was waiting for her. By the time she got

to the kitchen Travis had already gotten outside and

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was creeping to the barn where Marlowe was wreaking

havoc.
“You mangy son of a cuss.” Travis yelled over the

bear’s growls. Julia saw him face to face with old

Marlowe. Her heart caught in her throat. How could

Travis ever think he could fight with this beast?
The bear was at least nine feet tall. He was standing

upright with his massive front feet in the air. His head

was turning from side to side as if he could not figure

out what to do. His eyes, black as coal and empty of

any compassion were examining Travis--watching his

every move.
Intently examining the situation, he waited for the

human to make a slip, show some weakness; then he

would move in for the kill. The claws on Marlowe’s

paws were at least seven inches long and curved to

expertly dig into anything he had a mind to examine.
Julia swallowed hard as she observed the massive

mouth of teeth that the bear kept open while he

growled out his warnings. She watched the two

adversaries continue to eye each other. Julia didn’t

know which looked the fiercest, Travis or the grizzly

bear.
Travis raised the gun to his shoulder and took aim as

the bear stood and growled the loudest war call that

Julia ever heard. It seemed to fill every piece of air and

sent shivers down her spine. All of a sudden the doors

to the barn flew open. A stray cow raced out in

hysterics. The movement knocked Travis into the

bear’s chest. It was a free for all.
Julia sucked in a deep breath when she heard Travis

scream. The bear had him in a hold with his claws

ripping into Travis’s back. His mouth was around

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Travis’s head and she saw the bear ripping his coat into

shreds. Blood was now covering Travis’s face and back.

His arms hung limply to his side and Julia felt herself

dying as she watched the only man she ever loved

dying or already dead.
Lifting the gun in her shaking hands she flung the

kitchen door open and stepped down the stairs and

onto the ground. Through her tears she aimed the gun

and shot and cocked and shot again. The first shot sent

the bear into a shocked frozen moment. He then

screamed out another howl and threw Travis down to

the ground.
He started toward Julia but she continued to shoot

without fear, without knowledge. He was about five

feet from her when she aimed the gun again hitting the

bear in the forehead. Trying to shoot again but out of

ammunition, Julia saw the bear lunging towards her.

Wondering if she could get back into the house she

decided against it; afraid he might follow her inside

putting the children in danger.
She stood there figuring that death was imminent once

again in her young life. The bear clumsily stepped

forward as if rallying his strength to forge ahead, then

he stiffened, his eyes rolled up and he fell backwards.

Silence filled the air for a few seconds. Julia opened her

eyes afraid to see what might be happening. The bear

was in a crumpled heap seemingly dead. Crouching

and trembling with fear, she was afraid to go to Travis

scared that the bear would recover and catch her as

she went to him.
Upon hearing a low moan from Travis, Julia regained

her courage. She stumbled over the bear with legs that

would barely carry her. Falling over Travis she patted

his bloodied face to see if any life still existed.

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The sight was not a pretty one. Blood was pouring from

many parts of his body and she observed how his once

beautiful form was now mangled and forever scarred.

She frantically looked around for help. Opening her

mouth she thought she screamed out for help but her

voice sounded weak and distant. The buzzing in her

ears encompassed everything and dizziness threatened

to overtake her.
Within a few moments Candy and a few men came

running to the barn.
“We heard shots. What’s happening?” They looked at

the bloody scene and ran to Travis.
“He needs a doctor.” Candy shouted to the men as he

was trying to stop the bleeding. “Let’s get him into the

house.”
Julia clutched at Candy. Her eyes were frantic. She

couldn’t lose it now.
“Candy, where can I get the doctor?” Candy was frantic

with fear himself.
“The only doctor we have now is Augusta Reiner,” he

cried. “I don’t know if she can handle this or make it in

time.”
Giving directions to the men they carefully picked

Travis up and started to carry him into the house. The

worried look in his eyes told Julia that he didn’t have

much hope.
“I suppose we better get Augusta, Miss Julia.” Candy

looked down at his friend. “The sooner the better.” “I’ll

get him bedded down and I’ll go for her.” “I’ll go for

her. She’ll help him Candy.” Julia said through her

tears and fright. “She has to.”

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Racing toward the barn, she was bringing the saddle

toward Travis’s horse when Candy flew in behind her.

“Whoa there girl! I can’t have both of you being killed.

Come on back now Julie.” He pulled at her arm.
“Candy go back and help Travis!” She screamed at

him. Shrugging off his touch, she headed for the horse.
“I left him with Dick Wildhorse. He knows more

medicine than I do. I can’t let you do this ma’am.” He

tried to catch her but she was moving too fast. Then he

saw her headed for the black stallion.
“Whoa there young gal. I can’t have you riding this

horse.” Candy placed himself in front of her. “This here

is Travis’s horse Killer. He won’t let anyone near him.

Ma’am he’ll kill ya.” Julia snorted a derisive laugh.
“Candy there isn’t a horse around that will mess with

me.” She approached Killer and looked him in the eye.

With a voice of strength that shocked Candy, she

talked to the animal.
“Now we either can do this hard or easy. Your master

needs help and you are carrying me to get it. I don’t

want any problems with you because I am not in the

mood. You hear me.”
Killer’s ears flipped back and forth and his eyes

widened. Candy thought it was going to be the end of

the girl; but she flung the saddle on him and started to

winch it. Killer backed up as if ready to start his Indian

whoop dance but in a sharp and loud voice, Julia told

him to stop and the horse snorted and relaxed. Finally

ready, she placed her hands on Killer's neck and began

to massage it. In a soft and kind voice she whispered

to the horse.
“Don’t be afraid now Killer. We are doing this for

Travis.” Cooing and talking softly to the horse, she very

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carefully and gently put her foot in the stirrup. Letting

him take that in and continuing to gently speak to the

horse she then pulled herself onto the horse. Sitting

there for a few seconds she continued to speak softly

to the horse. Then she told him they had to go.

Nudging him with her thighs the horse and the girl

sped off toward the setting sun.
“Well I’ll be!” Candy stood there putting his hands

through his hair. He prayed her Godspeed. He watched

the young girl with her golden red hair flying behind

her. Expertly guiding the horse to a racing run she

dissolved into the blackness becoming only a memory.

Candy stood there for a second and then ran back to

the house to minister to Travis as best as he could.
It was a full moon that night and Julia was grateful for

that. The shimmery light was enough to light the path

she had come to know so well. Julia knew by the time

she got there Travis might be dead but she had to try.

By eight o’clock tired and dirty she reached Augusta’s

home. She tethered the horse and ran up the porch.

Banging on the door, exhausted and out of breath, she

leaned onto the pillar that held up the porch.
“What in tarnation?” Augusta with her bathrobe all

askew and her hair in a tangled gray mess opened the

door with a rifle in her hands. “Landsakes, Julie girl?

What’s the matter?”
Julia passed out in Augusta’s arms and Augusta picked

her up and took her into her kitchen. Plying brandy into

the young woman’s mouth that brought her back to

life; Augusta was eager to know why Julia had come all

this way.
The sun was now setting earlier in the evening so it

must have been very important for her to come this far

in the dark. Julia’s long eyelashes fluttered and she

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immediately latched her hands onto Augusta’s arms

and looked with fear-laden eyes into the old woman’s

concerned face.
“Travis, he needs you. Marlowe, please come.”

Exhausted by her hard riding, it was all she could do to

speak the words.
“Give me a minute honey.” Augusta hurriedly raced to

her room, dressed and packed a bag figuring she’d be

with them for a while. She ran to get her rig. Attaching

lamps to the side of the wagon she then tied Julia’s

horse to it, raced into the kitchen got her medical

supplies and they headed for Travis's. Julia quieted

down and finally fell asleep which is what the old

person knew she needed. She had been through a lot

this night.
Marlowe was a legend on this Montana landscape.

Every fall he would wreak havoc on the farms in this

area. He was a mean and heartless grizzly named after

a legendary mountain person known for his

unscrupulous and mean personality. Many people had

lost stock to this carnivorous predator.
Travis’s home, unknown to him when he built the

house, was right in Marlowe’s seasonable path down to

the blackberry bushes that grew in abundance around

the lake. Every fall when Marlowe came down to eat

the berries Travis had to contend with him.
Augusta knew what damage a bear like Marlowe could

inflict on a human and she prayed to God that Travis

could hang on until she got to the house. It was ten in

the evening when they reached Travis’s home. Augusta

raced into the house and left Julia to take care of the

horse and rig. She knew time was of the essence if

Travis was even alive at this point.

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Entering Travis’s bedroom, Augusta saw the situation

was critical. Travis was very pale. His breathing was

shallow. The bed and bedding looked like a blood bath

filled with Travis’s blood.
“Candy." she yelled, “Start boiling some water. Take

my supplies and put them in the water while it’s

boiling. I need some alcohol and the herbs in my bag.

This man may not make it through the night if he

doesn’t get help immediately.” Rolling up her sleeves

and dipping her hands in the water bowl, she

thoroughly washed her hands and proceeded to

examine Travis’s wounds.
Two little children awakened by all the commotion were

unnoticed, as they stood at the top of the stairs afraid

to know what was happening downstairs. It had been

this way when their mother had died and they did not

want to go through that again unless they had to. Filled

with fear and sleepiness, the two children peered down

through the stair railing and watched the proceedings

with alarmed eyes.
Julia walked into the room. She kept her eyes to the

floor. Exhausted by the trip she walked slowly and

clumsily across the thick carpet. She inadvertently

lifted her face to the children’s rooms and her heart

ached seeing the children lonely and scared hugging

each other on the stairs. Realizing their immediate

need she heavily labored up the steps and took each

child in her arms.
“There has been an accident. Marlowe and your daddy

had a fight. Marlowe’s dead and your daddy took a

beating.”
“Is my daddy dead?” David looked at Julia with tear

filled eyes.

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“No David.” Julia hugged the children tighter. “We are

going to pray very hard that God is going to work a

miracle here and help your daddy.
Both children nodded. They went into Julia’s room, sat

on her bed and prayed. When they finished, both

children begged Julia to let them sleep with her. She

decided it was ok and figured that she would stay with

them only until they fell asleep and then she would go

see how Travis was. It was late afternoon before the

three of them woke up.

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CHAPTER 13

“Hello dear.” Augusta whispered to Julia as Julia came

into Travis’s room to see how he was doing. Augusta

looked worn out. She had been sitting with Travis all

night and into the afternoon.
“He’s gone from dead to alive and back again. He

certainly has a will to live.” She rubbed her eyes and

scratched her head. “He spiked a fever early this

morning and I thought we had lost him. I think he’s out

of danger now but it’s gonna take a long time for him

to recover.”
Julia looked at Travis. He was lying on his stomach with

his face to the side. His forehead, badly gashed, was

expertly stitched by Augusta who was now preparing to

bandage it. It would leave a scar, but at least he still

had not suffered a horrible deformity. He looked very

pale and on the other side of death. His body moved up

and down with labored breathing and Augusta

explained that he had several broken ribs.
“His back is the worst part. It will never look the same.

Marlowe really made mincemeat out of it. I’ve stitched

up most of the cuts, but there will be scars.” She

grimaced as she raised the sheet to show Julia all the

stitch work that put his body back together again.
“He’s such a beautiful man.” Honey, will you help me

put him on his back? He needs to be shifted every few

hours.” Taking the sheet Augusta and Julia pulled

Travis to the side of the bed. Then they took the sheet

and pulled it over him turning him onto his back.

Moaning in his drugged sleep, Augusta lifted Travis’s

head and fluffed a pillow to lay underneath it.

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Julia felt sick as she looked upon Travis’s deformed

body. She raised her hand to her mouth and uttered an

anguished cry. Augusta looked at Julia and saw what

she had known the minute Julia had clutched her in the

kitchen. The girl was in love with Travis.
Julia’s expression became tender and fearful. She went

up to the bed and picked up Travis’s hand. Then she

sat on the chair next to the bed.
“You go get some sleep Augusta. I’ll take over for

awhile. Just tell me what to look for and I’ll come and

get you if there are any complications.”
“What about the children honey?” Augusta saw the love

in Julia’s eyes.
“Candy is with them right now. He’s keeping them busy

doing chores around the house.” Julia’s eyes never left

Travis’s face. “I told them after dinner they might be

able to come and see their daddy.” Augusta nodded.
“Okay honey. Let me just bandage his head and chest

and then I’ll take a rest.” I’ll go get some sleep and

freshen up. “Julia, I think he’s going to be fine.” “We

just have to watch for infection.” August finished with

the bandaging and instructed Julia to let her know if he

seemed to be in pain or felt feverish. Then she left to

get some badly needed rest.
Alone with Travis, Julia looked down at the man who

meant so much to her. Little bits of his hair peeked out

from the bandages that now encircled his head. His

eyes and lips seemed to be twice their size. His mouth

looked dry and chapped. She tried get some water

down him but it just came out the sides of his mouth.
Looking past the scars, he was still the handsome man

she had first met the day she arrived in Mournful. Does

it happen this fast? Julie wondered as she caressed

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126

Travis with her eyes. This man could make her more

angry than anyone else in her life and yet he made her

feel alive and excited to be in his presence. She didn’t

know how he felt about her but she knew that if he

were to die a little light in her life would die out with

him.
She reached out to his face and cooled it with a towel

she dipped into a bowl next to Travis’s bed. She then

took her hand and traced his face and lips and gave

him comfort in the only way she knew. She continued

to stroke his face and arms hoping somehow in his

sleep it would bring him comfort and peace.
“Suzanne.” Travis started to mumble. “I need you but

you’re not there.” Julia was dumbstruck. Who was

Suzanne? This was the second time he had mentioned

her. Then it dawned on her. Travis was talking to his

wife. He restlessly moved his legs and his handsome

face contorted in despair. “I’ll never love anyone but

you. She makes it so hard.”
Julia wondered whom Travis was talking about. Who

makes it so hard? Julia felt like crying. It was just her

luck that the first time she felt something for a man, he

was in love with another.
Lightly placing her hands on his chest, Julia knew this

would probably be the last time she would ever be this

near to him again. Devouring him with her eyes, she

tenderly stroked his face and the upper parts of his

shoulders that were not bandaged. Her hair brushed

him gently and even in his sleep he smelled the smell

of violets.
Grabbing her arms, Travis pulled her toward him. Julia

did not know what to do but thinking that he believed

her to be Suzanne she let him pull her to him and he

sought comfort with a kiss. His hand tenderly held her

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face to his and his mouth touched her with such

tenderness that she thought she would swoon.
As with any man who has known physical love but has

lived without for a while, the kiss became hungry and

aggressive. His mouth opened and his tongue sought

the inside of her mouth. Julia shyly let his tongue enter

her and the feelings it invoked in her were alien and

beautiful. She started to moan and the feeling she had

felt before crept down to the most inner parts of her

body.
She wanted more. She wanted to experience it all. She

felt herself falling and falling into the emotions that the

kiss evoked in her.
Finally Travis weakened and fell asleep again. Julia sat

by his bedside filled with desperate emotions and

uncertain feelings. She would not leave him now and

stayed with him until Augusta returned.

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CHAPTER 14

Life on the Parnell Ranch was difficult to say the least

without Travis. There were many chores to do and Julia

found herself so busy she didn’t have time to think

about the romantic encounter that afternoon in Travis’s

bedroom.
Candy and some of the men took turns cutting wood

and doing the hard part of the ranching duties. The

rest of the men carried on the lumber business. Julia

took care of the horses, cleaned out the stalls, milked

the cows and maintained the house duties.
The men marveled at how well Julia adjusted to

ranching. She could ride with the best of them and her

expertise with difficult horses amazed them. She got

everyone on a schedule so that no one would have to

have longer hours than anyone else with all the extra

work needing to done.
They were now coming to her for the important

decisions as though she was already the mistress of

the house. She could be tough when making decisions

and soft as butter if someone got injured when they

were working.
Augusta realized this was the something special she

had seen in Julia. She was a survivor. She knew how to

be genteel when the need arose and rough as anyone

else when the situation arose.
Augusta heard the men talking about the expert shot

Julia had made in Marlowe. The mangy cuss was killed

by someone with the expertise to nail him with 3 bull's

eye shots into his brain. Julia was right. Her Uncle

Paddy had taught her well.

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Augusta also noticed that the girl was starting to

blossom and become a very vibrant woman. She saw

how the men admired her and some even wanted to

get close with her. Julia was totally oblivious to all this

and because she was so innocent, Augusta was afraid

that she might be fair game for a lady's man. She

didn’t quite know how to speak with the girl, but if Julia

and Travis were ever to get together, she was going to

have to say something before Travis got better. The

men were already eyeing her with anticipation.
Travis was now conscious and upright but he was still

very weak from the lack of blood and could not sit for a

long amount of time. Julia was so busy that she didn’t

have time to see him except when she brought the

children to him to say hello; once in the morning and

once before they said goodnight.
Julia looked forward to the evening visits because she

could spend more time with him and even though the

children occupied most of the visit, she just enjoyed

being in his presence. She was getting ready for

tonight’s visit, fixing her hair, when the children came

into her room and impatiently asked her to hurry.
“Come on Julia, pa’s waiting.” David pulled on Julia’s

arm. “You look ok.”
“Juwe come!” Mavis looked sternly at Julia with her

hands on her hips. Julia had to hide a smile as the child

tried so hard to be authoritative.
Finishing the touches to a very pretty powder blue

simple lined dress, she decided to see if she could do

something with her hair. Picking up a comb, she pulled

her hair up and wound it into a bun. She was going to

put the comb in it when David squawked at her.

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“Naw, don’t do that Julia. Leave your hair down. Your

hair is too pretty to put on top of your head. “Pa says

you have the prettiest hair in the county.”
“He does?” Julia felt herself blush. “Well then I guess

we better get going then.”
“Yes ma’am; let’s go.” She put her hands out, each

child took a hand and they walked to Travis’s room.

Julia felt butterflies in her stomach every time she

knew she was going to see Travis.
Unbeknownst to Julia, Travis had become just as eager

as her for these visits. He loved seeing his children but

he was becoming accustomed to her smiling face and

sparring ways. One day she might be gentle and

gracious and the next a little hellion who wanted to

beat him in a mean game of poker. He didn’t know

where she learned to play poker but she could play

with the best and Travis loved a challenge. She was

like a chameleon and he became more and more

enamored with this girl with golden red hair.
The children adored Julia and she them and they

afforded her more comfort than she could ever

express. The Parnell household was becoming a home

again. Julia infused into the home a lightness of

femininity and youth which never had been a part of

the house even when Suzanne occupied it.
Augusta was well aware of the way the two people

looked at each other but she was also aware of Travis’s

obsession with Suzanne. She wished he could see the

love in Julia’s eyes but he was a man and men never

saw what they needed to see. If there was some way

for her to get them together, she would find a way.
The plan came sooner than Augusta thought. News

traveled fast in the small community and Travis’s

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encounter with old Marlowe was the talk of the town.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when they heard the

old grizzly was dead. When they heard who killed him

they were even more surprised.
Miss Marla Pearson, the nearest thing to a girlfriend

Travis had, was in her retail store in Mournful when she

heard of the accident. When she heard how the bear

was killed, she moved into emergency mode. Dropping

everything, she left the store in the hands of her

assistant and headed for Mourning. It was somewhat

irritating to her that a little frail copperhead governess

might just be a little more substantial than Marla had

perceived. She was in love with Travis and she wanted

him. If anyone was going to have him she was.
Marla was a born and bred Savannah, Georgia girl.

Against her wishes, she moved to Mournful with her

older husband Randall Pearson who was a wealthy

merchant that wanted a taste of the old west. He also

wanted Marla for himself.
Meeting Marla at a society ball, he thought she was the

most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Being older

by ten years Randall began a slow and careful

courtship with Marla who was very young and very

flighty. Courting her for several months, along with

many other gentlemen much younger than himself, he

finally asked for her hand in marriage. Much to his

surprise she accepted.
Randall’s sister warned him that Marla was marrying

him for his money. It was becoming knowledge that

the family had come into some severe financial

problems. Randall dismissed her warnings. On a

beautiful and warm day in Georgia, the mismatched

couple spoke their vows of undying love then

proceeded to a uneventful honeymoon in New York

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where Randall spent an enormous amount of money for

their new home in Georgia.
Marla was a dutiful spouse but it became apparent,

very quickly, that she did not love him in the way he

desired. Cool and aloof in the marriage bed, Randall

soon found that his sister was correct. Swallowing his

pride, he decided to see what benefit she could be to

him and be satisfied with that.
Marla had been well taught in her social graces. She

was very adept at making the person, she was

speaking to, think they were the most special person in

the world. Because of her beauty, charm and wonderful

parties, she became instrumental in helping Randall

become well known in the community.
She was also very adept at discreet affairs. What

excitement she couldn’t find in her marriage, she found

with the young sons of some of Randall’s customers.

Everyone loved Randall and they were discrete about

his wayward wife wanting to protect the kind man. One

day, the protective bubble broke when one of the

young men who was madly in love with Marla

committed suicide. The whole ugly mess was revealed.
Humiliated and angry, Randall quietly wondered what

to do with Marla. The idea came in the dream of

venturing to the great land beyond the East. He sold

his store and announced to Marla that they were going

to move to Montana. She immediately set up a fuss but

he told her that she either could come with him as a

dutiful wife should or she could stay home and he

would divorce her leaving her with nothing.
Having no choice being the realist she was, she

complied and they left Georgia setting up a mercantile

store in Mournful. It was a successful venture and they

immediately became the largest town merchants in the

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growing area. Marla was never completely happy in

Mournful but she saw she was the prettiest and the

richest so that gave her some satisfaction.
Randall died five years later, leaving Marla with money,

beauty and youth. She was preparing to return to

Georgia when Travis came to her store for some

supplies. Immediately attracted to his strength and

handsomeness; she found out as much as she could

about him. The fact that he wore a wedding ring

disappointed Marla but she fell in love with him and

swore someday he would be hers.

When Suzanne died, Marla did not grieve; she

planned. She “arranged” for them to meet occasionally

and became a kind ear for Travis to grieve with.

Eventually she knew he would come to rely on her and

rely he did.
She did not ask for anything of him and he did not ask

anything of her. Theirs was a friendship based upon

need and compatibility. They physically enjoyed each

other. Travis thought of it no other way.
In Travis’s world, women like her were taken care of

and petted, but he could never have considered her for

a woman to marry. His feelings for Marla did not run

deep. The young inexperienced idealistic emotions of

love died a long time ago and were laying in a family

grave built some yards from the house. Travis almost

died with the pain from Suzanne’s death and he was

determined never to fall in love again.
For all her experience, Marla never met a man like

Travis before. Used to twisting men around her little

finger, Travis intrigued her because she could not

manipulate him as easily as the other men in her life.

Just when she thought she had him figured out, he

would do something that would baffle her again. The

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intrigue made her hold on harder and in holding on

harder she didn’t realize that sometimes he felt stifled.
She understood Travis’s feelings about her. Even in her

society a woman like her was usually never

marriageable. In Travis’s circle, marriageable women

were chaste and pure. Mistresses fed the physical part

of a relationship and they accepted the relationship as

it was. They did not ask for anything in return, except

that they are kept in comfort.
Marla figured what she put in was what she was going

to get out of it. Her objective was marriage. She did

not especially like the idea of children, but once she

married the man she figured she could persuade Travis

to put the children into a private school.
People knew about the relationship but because of their

respect for Travis and the extent his sorrow had been

over Suzanne they considered it his due. They also

knew that one day Miss Marla Pearson was going to

find out she couldn’t have everything she wanted.
Marla’s wagon rolled into the Parnell ranch loaded with

her luggage exactly two weeks after the accident. She

descended upon the household and within minutes it

was in total confusion.
Julia came prancing in with the children and the

tension in the household hit her like a sledge hammer.

She saw Candy leaning on the fireplace hearth with a

disgusted look on his face.
“What’s up Candy. Who's the visitor?” Candy rolled his

eyes and made an exaggerated female strut.
“Her majesty.” He waved his hands towards Travis’s

bedroom and walked out. Augusta huffed out of

Travis’s bedroom with her medicines and announced

broadly,

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“I never.” She dumped the supplies on the table by

Julia huffing a big breath through her nose. She

lumbered into the kitchen and started to pour herself a

cup of coffee. Taking a big gulp, she set it down on the

kitchen table and began a tirade of frustration.
“The miss uppity is here now and thinks she can nurse

him back to health without my help! Hmmph, why

one day and she’ll give up. Mark my word, Julie girl.

That’s a bad one, I’ll tell you that.” Augusta took

another gulp of her coffee. “I’ll tell you something else

too. The only things she’ll be able to nurse won’t be his

wounds. If you catch my meaning!” Augusta brought

her hand to her mouth knowing she shouldn’t have said

what she did to Julia when she saw the shocked look

on the girl’s face. Julia had to put her hand to her

mouth to stifle a fit of laughter at the women’s

atrocious statement.

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CHAPTER 15

Gently tiptoeing to Travis’s room, Julia shyly peeked in.

She gasped as she observed the woman who was

leaning over Travis Parnell’s sleeping body. Ravishingly

beautiful, dressed in a black and coral finely laced silk

dress, Marla’s peaches and cream skin made her look

like a china doll.
Her jet black hair shined like fine obsidian. She wore it

piled on her head ending in ringlets cascading down

her neck. The graceful tilt of her neck and the slender

rounding of her shoulders revealed a woman definitely

blessed with beauty and grace.
Immediately awed and intimidated by this beautiful

woman Julia watched her every move. Noticing the

intimate and nurturing way the woman was touching

Travis, Julia thought she was observing the rival to

Suzanne he had been mumbling about.
Dropping her hands off the door mantle and turning

with a sigh, Julia felt her heart ache as she very quickly

began a downward descent into self pity. How could

she ever compete with a woman like that? She crossed

her arms around her stomach trying to make some

sense in all that had happened.
Julia experience in the world of male and female

relationship was extremely limited. Though she was

never allowed to be a part of her uncle’s wild lifestyle,

sometimes she would creep down the oak lined

staircase and watch the activities below her. Beautiful

women were a staple in Uncle Paddy’s home

captivating the men who would gather for Paddy’s well

loved gambling parties. They knew how to cajole, flirt,

and spin a web of flattery that would have the men

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fighting over them. Seeing what those women could do

to men and the destruction that followed made her

swear to herself that she would never use wiles to

catch a man.
During her time at a boarding house in San Francisco,

Julia had become close to the owners son, Jonathan

Russo. Jonathan was Julia’s first real suitor. Having

much in common, he was a great comforter during

Julia’s lone sojourn in the real world.
Funny, nice and down to earth, he gave Julia her first

kiss and to him it was heaven. When he learned she

had taken a position in Montana he was crushed.
“Don’t you want to be with me Julia? I love you. I

thought we were going to be together forever.” His

eyes were filled with anguish and he pleadingly begged

her to stay with him.
“You don’t understand Jonathan.” Julia stood by a

window in the parlor. A far away wail of a boat whistle

could be heard in the distance. “All my life, I have

been taken care of by someone. I want to do this. I

want to have an adventure in my life to look back on.”
“We could have had an adventure of love and life

together Julia.” Jonathan grabbed her shoulder. He

made her face him.
“Don’t you understand what you are doing? You are

going to a place that is a wilderness. You have no idea

how it could eat up a girl like you. It isn’t even decent

moving in with a family without a woman in it.”
“Decent! Julia shot back at him. “My whole life hasn’t

been decent Jonathan. That is something I am not

worried about. I want out of this city and I want to

start somewhere new. I’m sorry you do not like it.”

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“Then I take it you have made up your mind and

nothing I say is going to change it.” He let go of her

and the pain in his eyes was almost more than Julia

could bear.
“I’m sorry.” Julia said very quietly. “I’m very sorry.”
The next morning, true to his character, Jonathan took

Julia to the train station. Awkwardly speaking nothings

to each other, Julia boarded the train and Jonathan

Russo faded out of her life.
Walking back to her room, Julia looked at herself in a

mirror that was hanging on the wall next to her. She

saw a tired, bedraggled tangle haired waif. She then

looked down at her chest and her clothes and her

hands and resignedly gave up all hope of ever having

her dream come true with Travis.
Instead of staying in her room she decided to go to the

kitchen and eat away her sorrows. Entering the room,

she opened up the ice box looking for something to

eat. Seeing nothing that interested her taste buds, she

closed the door and fell into a chair dejectedly placing

her face into her hands.
“What’s the matter child?” Augusta had been standing

by the sink watching the girl come in.
“Why wasn’t I blessed with beauty and charm

Augusta?” The girl looked so forlorn that Augusta,

smiling and knowing what this was all about, walked

over to the table and sat next to Julia.
“Honey, there is something I need to tell you. Look at

me.” Julia lifted up her head with distraught eyes and

looked at the weather worn older woman. “Men are like

a shapeless piece of clay when it comes to a woman.

You need to mold and shape men into what they need

to be. That’s a woman’s job, yessire! I might add that

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when you are gussied up, you are one heck of a pretty

lady. Why with that hair and skin, you are a dream.

You just need to be more confident of what you have to

offer.
A woman can be a companion, or a woman can be a

heart mate Julia. Some men think they just want a

companion, when what they really need is a heartmate.

Don’t settle for less than a heartmate child. That’s the

only kind of love that lasts.”
Julia wasn’t sure of what Augusta meant; she only

knew the pain in her heart.
“Augusta, Marla is wonderfully pretty isn’t she?”

Augusta started laughing. “Yes, she is pretty enough if

you like that made up prettiness. Wonder what she

looks like when she gets all that paint off her face. She

raised her eyebrows and looked at Julia with a nod.

“Honey, that woman has been hankering over Travis

now for almost a year. Now I won’t say he doesn’t have

some feeling for her, but it isn’t a marrying feeling. It’s

more of a friendship, comfortable feeling. She helped

him during his hard time of losing his wife.”
“What was his wife like?”
“I didn’t really know his wife, child. She was a young

thing, plain and not very friendly. I think she was

overwhelmed with children and trying to survive. She

always looked like she was afraid of something. Travis

loved her though and when she looked at him, that’s

the only time she seemed pretty. She looked at him

with so much love.”
“Do you think I will ever know that kind of love

Augusta?” “I surely do.” Augusta put her arm around

the young girl’s shoulder. “If I have anything to do

about it, you will get exactly the person you need.”

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Julia looked into the face of her friend and smiled.
“Thank you Augusta. You always know how to make

me feel better.” The two women smiled at each-other.

Julia got up and feeling better, decided that she would

go to her room to clean up and then check on the

children.
Leaving the kitchen, she walked back to her room and

sat on the bed. Before she collected her wits, the

woman who was foremost in her thoughts appeared

before her.
“Well, I must say, nursing is a tiring profession.

Augusta told me I could find you here. I was wondering

if you would like to break me for a spell.” Beads of

perspiration had formed on Marla’s upper lip and her

hair was becoming frizzy at the temples. Julia noticed

that in looking closer at this woman she was older than

Julia had first thought.
“Now where are my manners? Glory be, I barge into

your room and shout orders like a Field Marshall. I’m

Marla Pearson, a very close friend, she emphasized

very, of your boss Mr. Parnell. I believe we met some

months ago at Augusta’s. Do you remember that?”
Holding out her perfectly manicured hand to Julia, she

observed the small but attractive woman who stood in

front of her.
“I do remember you. Very nice to meet you. My name

is Julia O’Reilly.
Marla released Julia’s hand and turned to observe

herself in the mirror. She began redoing the damage

her devoted work had done to her.
“Oh my, my, my, I am a mess. Travis wouldn’t give me

another look if I went back in there looking like this.”

Marla was twisting and turning to see how wrinkled she

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was. “I tell you, that is one man who wants his woman

to be perfect.” She licked a curl into place. “He loves a

very well maintained woman.” Glancing curiously at

Julia’s reflection in the mirror she asked the girl. “How

old are you honey?”
Julia mesmerized by this dazzling woman had a hard

time answering.
“What is the matter honey, cat got your tongue?” Marla

turned and gave the girl an equally dazzling smile.

Something in this woman’s manner made Julia’s skin

crawl.
“I’m nineteen.” Julia decided in a moment that she did

not like this woman. She also decided that Travis would

not be happy with her either. The war had begun. Only

she had to find someone who would show her how to

fight it.
“Nineteen! My oh my. It is beyond me why Travis

would hire someone so young. Why some man is gonna

catch your eye and you will be gone before you know

it. Oh well, after we are married, I think the children

should be in a private school. Only the best you know.”
“You and Travis are thinking about getting married?”

Julia felt her stomach cramp.
“Well, he hasn’t said it in so many words, but I think I

can work on him.” Marla watched the young girls facial

expression reflected in the mirror in front of her.

“We’ve been very close for sometime.”
Julia couldn’t wait to get out of the room. She felt

breathless, claustrophobic, and terribly defeated.
“I’d be more than happy to rest you for a period Miss

Pearson. Let me know when you want to begin again.”

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Leaving the room, tears started to form in her

beautiful emerald eyes. Taking a deep breath as

though she needed to bring fresh air to her lungs,

Julia, hurt and depressed, trudged down the hall to

Travis’s room.
Even if Julia did not speak it in words, or even

understand it, deep down in her heart she had done

her claiming. What women instinctively possessed

would be her teachers even though she had no idea of

what she could do. She acknowledged that she loved

Travis, but she was not going to catch him with wiles

and ways. She would just be herself and let the chips

fall where they may.
Julia did not know it but she possessed in her warm

and caring character, what every man wants;

understanding. In the small time she had spent with

Travis, she understood more about him than Marla ever

would. Based upon what she believed about him,

nothing would make her believe he would marry the

woman. Well hardly anything.

~~~

Marla reflected on what she had observed of the young

girl. Certainly she was not ugly. Even bedraggled and

unkempt Julia was still attractive. Marla looked at her

reflection in the mirror. ‘Where has my youth gone?’

she thought. Her once perfect face was now showing

signs of aging. It was still a handsome face but the

freshness she saw in Julia’s youthful looks was gone

and would never return. Time was an enemy Marla

couldn’t control and it was taking its toll on her.
She acknowledged, in her realistic view of life, that

Julia although small and slight possessed a femininity

to her that spoke of class and wholesomeness. Marla

had lost that femininity a long time ago. Her dreams of

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society and a prince charming died the day she

consented to marry Randall Pearson to keep the family

in money. A spark of fear tingled down her spine

wondering if indeed Julia could be a problem.
Marla wondered what Julia looked like dressed up. She

would see how Travis and the girl got along. Then she

would plan her strategy. She was here now and she

was not leaving without a proposal and a ring and

nothing and no one was going to stop her.

~~~

Stepping into Travis’s room, Julia saw that his eyes

were open and he smiled when she walked in.
“Hi there sunshine.” Travis felt his heart catch when

Julia walked in. She was so pretty in her blue dress

which made her hair almost auburn in color. He tried

to pull himself into a sitting position. Julia quickly

moved to assist him.
“Travis you don’t have the energy to swat a fly, let

alone lift your self. Let me help you.” Placing her arms

underneath his armpits she helped him raise himself.
Travis breathed in the scent of Julia and took

advantage of her closeness to admire her creamy skin

and flawless complexion. There was something about

her closeness that seemed right and comfortable; as

though she’d always been with him. He noticed how

tired and worn she looked, but she still looked beautiful

to him.
“Oh that hurts. I feel like I’ve been shot ten times

over.” Travis’s head fell toward Julia’s chest. Again he

smelled the fragrance of violets he had smelled when

he first met her.
“Well sir, that’s what happens when you wrestle with a

bear. You have to watch who you play with.” They both

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laughed and Julia took his face in her hands. “You hear

me mister?”
Looking into Travis’s warm brown eyes, Julia thought

she saw mirrored in their depths a warmness that

spoke of tenderness and desire. Their eyes locked with

each one feeling the same but being too scared to

voice the emotions they were feeling. It was a powerful

overcoming of the senses and their faces moved closer

to one another without thought. Julia feeling scared of

the emotions she was feeling and afraid of being

rejected again blurted out the only thing she could

think of.
“How about a game of poker?”
“Poker?” Marla said as she swept into the room.

“Landsakes honey, what are you trying to do, kill the

man?” Marla had been silently watching the whole time

and jealousy started to seed within her heart as she

saw Travis’s and Julia’s attraction. Julia, dressed in

powder blue with the flushed cheeks of a love-struck

girl was radiant and, she hated to admit, beautiful. She

now knew the answer to her question and she would

take whatever measures to make sure her plan would

succeed.
“This man needs rest. He needs to get big and strong

again. I’m going to make sure of that.” Julia not

knowing if she should leave or stay, watched Travis’s

expression as Marla doted over him. She realized it

wasn’t an expression of love but of patient endurance.
She realized she had a chance and it overjoyed her.

Her hope was short-lived, however, when Marla

planted a kiss on Travis’s mouth and the man did not

stop her. Julia embarrassed by the intimate encounter,

walked out of the room. She did not see the expression

of sadness on Travis’s face as he watched her leave.

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CHAPTER 16

Two weeks had gone by with everything revolving

around Travis’s healing. He was now strong enough to

take a short walk around the house and spend more

time with the children without becoming tired. Those

were the moments he loved the best. He felt whole

with Julia and the children nestled around him playing,

teasing and fighting.
Marla was great but she babied him too much and all

that prancing and fussing was making him nervous. He

had never lied to her regarding his feelings about their

relationship and now the tell-tale signs of branding

were obvious even to him. He owed Marla a lot

considering what she had done for him after Suzanne

died. He didn’t want to hurt her but he had to admit to

himself that he would never love her enough to marry

her.
Sitting in a chair on his porch in the now unmistakably

fall weather, Travis appraised his grounds. He had

accomplished a lot and he was proud of what he had

attained. Still there was something missing and he

knew it was a loss in his heart over someone he could

share all of this with. Thinking about Suzanne a cloud

ran over his emotions, he closed his eyes and when he

opened them again Julia was racing the kids to see

who could reach him first. He heard a familiar voice

surround him.
“It’s all right Travis.”
He sat up with a start. It was Suzanne’s voice. He

looked around to see if she was there.
“Let go of me. You must go with the living.”

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He saw her in a vision. They were together hugging

and saying good-bye. She was as beautiful as he

remembered her. Then she broke from him and looking

back she raised her hand in a farewell and faded from

sight. Travis did not know what this meant. Normally

he had this vision only when he was asleep and now he

was having it during the day! Questioning his sanity

and wondering if the accident had done something to

him, his face wrinkled in worry and thought.
“Travis?” Julia’s voice brought him back to reality. The

children and Julia stood there with questioning looks on

their faces. “Where were you? It was like you were a

thousand miles away.”
“Of course he was honey.” Marla’s sickenly sweet voice

echoed behind Travis. “He was thinking about me.” She

rewrapped the blanket around Travis’s shoulders and

gave him a peck on his cheek. “Weren’t you honey?”

He carelessly patted her hands that were on his

shoulders and smiled and motioned for the children to

come to him. They nestled themselves on his lap and

hugged and chattered excitedly.
“Children that is enough.” “You must stay quiet and let

your daddy have some peace.” Marla clucked her

tongue in sternness.
“It’s all right Marla.” Travis seated the children evenly

on his thighs. “I enjoy having them around.”
“Well,” she eyed the situation critically, “ok, but just

for a few minutes."
While Travis and the children prattled about nothing in

particular, Marla regarded the way Julia looked at

Travis. Sidling up to her and putting her hands on her

shoulders she sweetly spoke into Julia’s ear.

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“Julia, we have had so little time with each other, why

don’t we go for a walk while Travis and the children

have some time together? It’s a lovely evening and

even though it’s a little chilly I so would like to walk

around a bit.” Julia rather hesitantly accepted even

though she would have rather have stayed with Travis.
The cool night air seemed to penetrate the warm wraps

they were wearing and it tickled down their necks

seeking any free skin it could seep into. They headed

into the corral area standing by the fencing that held in

the horses. Killer, seeing Julia, walked over to her and

nudged her elbow that was laying on top of the fence

railing. Julia caressed his neck and Killer’s eyes rolled

in satisfaction. Nickering gently, he abruptly turned and

ran off seeking the warmth of his stable.
“Just look at that sky,” Marla eyes reflected the bright

images she was now focusing on. Julia looked up and

saw a falling star. She closed her eyes and made a

wish.
“What are you wishing for honey?” Marla eyed her

speculatively. “Now let me think.” She slowly

sauntered around her as though she was assessing the

young girl.
“You are wishing for a handsome man who will give

you several children, a beautiful house and a wonderful

future. Am I right?” She nestled close to Julia and gave

her one of her dazzling smiles. Julia quietly stood there

looking at her, shivering not only because it was cold

but because Marla had almost read her mind.
“I ah, I guess that is something every girl dreams of.

Don’t you think?” Julia wrapped her shawl tighter

around her shoulders and went to sit on a log that

Travis used to cut the wood. Marla watched her as she

walked away.

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“Well, I don’t know honey. I was married for some time

to a man that was obliging and a very good provider.

He was ok but nothing to write home about if you know

what I mean.” Marla turned her head and looked

confidentially at Julia out of the corner of her eye. She

then headed towards her and sat next to her settling

her dress around her. Julia watched her with

exasperated feelings. ‘Why was this woman always

fussing with herself?’ she asked herself. Then Julia

remembered who Marla reminded her of. She

reminded her of someone else that did the same thing;

who sat on velvet settees waiting for the world to

observe them. The thought shocked her. After a

moment of reflection she asked a question that she

could have answered herself.
“Didn’t you love him?” Julia couldn’t imagine giving

herself to someone without loving them. Marla laughed

her sickenly sweet laugh.
“Love. Honey love does not have anything to do with

marriage. My momma told me never to let love get in

the way of a future. One has to be wise and provide for

herself if she is going to have anything in this world.”

Marla gave her a world wise, you are so naive look. “I

suppose you want the prince who comes riding in on a

white horse to take you for a fairy tale existence for

the rest of your life.” Marla clicked her tongue and put

her hands on Julia’s.
“Honey I am going to have to tell you some facts of

life. A man wants a woman for his bed and for his arm.

He wants something pretty, who will make him feel

manly and who knows how to excite him in the

marriage bed. That’s what a man really wants.”
“Look at me.” She waved her hands around her face. “I

have men around me all the time. They love my

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looking after them and Travis likes to have me around

because I am pretty and feminine and I know how to

make him feel like a man.”
Julia sat quietly listening to her not quite

understanding. She knew that the women who were

around Uncle Paddy were that way and men seemed to

congregate around them all the time. Believing Marla

was trying to help her, Julia let her guard down.
“What do you mean by making him feel like a man?”

Julia looked so innocent and naive, Marla had a tinge of

conscience in what she was trying to do to this young

girl. In her mind all was fair in love and war so

throwing off the guilt she continued.
“Well honey, I don’t know if anyone has told you about

the birds and the bees but a man wants a woman who

knows how to please him. By the look Julia gave her

Marla knew she was trying to understand but couldn’t.

“Honey, I am talking about bedding a man!” Her face

registered shock and she rolled her eyes. “Good lord

you are naive.”
Julia finally understanding turned as red as Marla’s

dress. She rose to go but Marla held her back.
“I’m only trying to help sugar. I’m afraid you don’t

know the men around here; they like that type of

woman.” Her eyes narrowed and her face turned hard

when she went in for the kill. “You think you are in love

with Travis.”
Julia quickly turned to her with a look of denial on her

face.
“No honey, it’s no use denying it.” Marla’s expression

became one of sympathy and earnestness. “I’ve seen

how you look at him. I don’t want to burst your bubble,

but Travis is a man of the world and he needs to have

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a woman that can handle, she put her hands on her

breasts, his more personal needs. It wouldn’t do for a

young thing like you to think he would be happy with

you. He’s been married and has known a man’s needs.

That’s why he wants me.”
She looked out into the yard as in deep thought. Then

she turned to Julia.
“Maybe we can find you a nice young man from around

here to experiment with. Who knows, maybe he will

end up marrying you.”
Exaggerating a shiver, she blew into her hands.
“Oh my, it is getting cold out here. I don’t know about

you but I am going in She stood up and started walking

toward the house. Turning she said to Julia.
“I’ll help you find someone Julia. I’m glad we had this

little talk. I feel so much closer to you. Maybe we can

be like sisters someday.”
Smiling sweetly she hopped up the stairs and flinging

open the door she sailed into the house leaving Julia

standing desolately shivering in the yard.

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CHAPTER 17

Peeping from the kitchen, Augusta had seen Julia and

Marla go out into the yard. Figuring something was up

she slyly watched the interaction between the two

women out of the kitchen window. She could tell by

Julia’s expressions, that something was being to her

little friend that was confusing her.
When Marla smugly re-entered the house, leaving Julia

standing forlornly in the cold back yard, Augusta seeing

her face alight with the sparks of victory figured the

conversation had something to do with Travis. Wanting

to slap the smugness out of the woman she thought

differently and peered out the window to see Julia who

looked like she had just lost her best friend. Bursting

with curiosity, she wrapped a shawl around her and

picked up the egg basket. Creeping down the back

stairs she figured she could pretend she was going for

some extra eggs. That would give her the opportunity

to find out what was making Julia look so sad.
Stepping outside, and stung by the coldness the air

had taken on, she paused for a minute to acclimate

herself to the icy shock. Then she lumbered down the

wooden steps to where Julia was standing.
“Landsakes child, what are you doing standing here in

the cold?” She picked up Julia’s hands and started

rubbing them. “You ok?” Julia nodded her head and

with a voice low and contained she spoke.
“Yes Augusta. I’m fine.” She raised her head and set

her shoulders. “Actually I guess I’m more than fine.

I’ve made a decision.”
“And what would that be child?” Augusta questioned

softly as she put her arm around Julia’s shoulder.

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“I’ve decided to leave at the end of this month.”

Augusta’s face registered shock and hurt; the coldness

she felt in her heart was colder than the air she was

breathing. “I have fulfilled my debt to Travis and I have

some money saved up.” She seemed to be thinking

this out as she was saying it and Augusta wondered

what had precipitated this decision.
“What made you feel you had to do this?” Augusta

looked at the girl with her heart filled with concern.

“Aren’t you happy here Julia?” Then taking her arms off

of Julia’s shoulders she stood squarely in front of her

and put her hands on her hips. “Does this have

anything to do with your conversation with Marla the

meddler?”
Julia looked at the ground, while the wind started to

blow icy and powerful around them.
“Oh my,” Augusta looked up at the sky which was now

being covered by large and pink tinged clouds. “This

weather is coming too early this year. It has to be clear

for our Harvest Festival.” Then she looked back at

Julia. “Tell me child; why do you feel you have to leave

here?”
Julia, knowing Augusta would defend her like a mother

tiger started from the beginning and told the old

woman what had happened between the two of them.

She left nothing out and put nothing in that had not

happened.
Augusta sat quietly listening. She never realized that

things had progressed this far. She couldn’t blame

Julia, but she did blame Travis for having so little self

control.
“Hmmm. Seems to me girl that man needs some

talking to. You are an innocent thing and he should not

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be taking advantage of you. Well at least he had the

good sense to stop it before it went too far.”
“It isn’t like I didn’t want him to do it, Augusta. I did.”

“I, I think I love Travis, but Marla said he was a man of

the world and needs a woman like her. She said that I

was too young and that if anyone was going to marry

Travis she was.”
Furiousness fueled animation. “Augusta, she doesn’t

deserve Travis.” Julia’s eyes blazed a pale green and

her breath came in short gasps. “I don’t think Travis

needs a woman like her.”
“So you are just going to leave and let her have him?”

“Hmmph, I thought you said you thought you loved the

man.” Augusta watched the girl out of the corner of her

eye. Julia opened her mouth to say something and

then shut it. “That doesn’t sound like love to me. I tell

you if Samuel had had another woman wanting him, I

would have fought her like you fought old Marlowe to

the bitter end. If he picked her, at least I could say to

myself I had done my best.”
“Well, how can I compete against someone like her

Augusta?” “She’s like silk and satin and I am cloth and

denim. What can I do?” She looked into the eyes of the

woman who was as close as a mother she had ever

known. “No Augusta, I am going to leave.”
Augusta’s heart almost pained her to hear those words.

How could she make Julia realize what changes she

had brought to the family, especially in Travis. How

could she explain to the girl and get her hopes up

telling her how he looked at her when she wasn’t

aware of it? How could she make the girl who was

obviously in so much pain understand what she had

done for all of them. Trying to figure out a way to stall

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the girl so she could try to get the two of them

together, she very calmly and expertly replied.
“Well dear, I will be very sorry to see you go, but if this

is what you want I guess I can’t stop you.” She dabbed

at her damp eyes with her shawl. “Will you promise me

something though?” Will you stay until after the

harvest festival? I would like a little more time with you

because it will probably be a long time, she drew out

long time somewhat dramatically, before I see you

again.” Seeing Julia was looking somewhat remorseful,

and pleased with her performance, she put in the last

stab. With a perfectly innocent face filled with pity and

sorrow she went on.
“Oh and the children. Have you thought about what

this will do to them? You know how they feel about

you. You are going to give Travis a chance to get a new

governess aren’t you? These young uns have been

through a lot and it wouldn’t be right if you didn’t give

them some time to adjust to this.”
“What?” Julia’s head was swimming. She wasn’t sure

she liked what she had started. “Oh yes, I hadn’t

thought of that. Sure Augusta. I mean I’m not just

going to run off without regard for anyone.” She looked

confused and Augusta seeing the confusion decided on

her course of action. Thinking about how she was going

to bring Travis and Julia together she said to herself:
“Julie girl, you are going to be staying with us whether

you like it or not because this has become your home.”

Putting her arm around Julia again, she led the girl to

the house.
“Now you just go to bed. All this thinking probably has

you tired. Spend the time thinking over what your

course of planning is going to be. I will take care of the

little ones. They’ll have to get used to you not being

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around all the time won’t they?” Calling up the rear as

they walked up the stairs to the house, she clucked her

tongue. “They’re so small for all these changes.”
Augusta contrived a long sigh as she walked off. Julia

wanely smiled. Shaking her head to scatter the

confusion she felt, she went to her bedroom wondering

how the night had turned out so confused and

calamitous.

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CHAPTER 18

The next morning Augusta woke up with a grand idea.

Wanting to put it into action, she jumped out of bed

and dressed quickly. She was bunking with Julia and as

she buttoned up her dress, she looked down on the

peaceful sleeping face she had come to love.
“Julia, I’m gonna try my hardest to make that man see

what it is he’s missing. Come hell or high water.

Yessiree.”
Lumbering down the stairs, she noticed Marla’s door

was open and her room was empty which was

uncharacteristic of the woman this early in the

morning. Wondering what was going on, Augusta

wandered into the kitchen. Her eyes widened as she

saw Marla was sitting at the table drinking a cup of

coffee. She looked up as Augusta strode through the

door.
There wasn’t a lot of love between the two women and

they treated each other with a tempered non spoken

truce. With a voice still groggy from sleep and shuffling

her heavy load into the kitchen Augusta inquired of the

young woman.
“What are you doing up at this hour of the morning

dear?”
Marla, yawning scooted a cup over to Augusta and

motioned for her to sit down.
“I have to go to Mournful today. I got a telegram from

my brother that he is arriving in town today to see

me.” Rolling her eyes and grimacing she continued.

“Probably needs money. I also need to check on my

store and get some things together for the Harvest

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Festival. Travis is feeling better now and I feel

comfortable leaving him for awhile.”
Augusta sneered inwardly at the woman knowing that

Travis had plenty of people here he’d rather take care

of him, but she kept quiet. The situation was going to

work out perfectly. She wouldn’t have to use her plan;

a grand idea came into her mind. She then offered

cheese to the mouse.
“Marla,” cautiously and as innocent as the snake in the

Garden of Eden, Augusta set the trap. “Isn’t your

brother a doctor? You know, Travis could stand to have

a doctor look at him.”
Augusta kept close watch over the woman out of the

side of her peripheral vision. Marla was just about to

object so Augusta spoke quickly. “Just for confirmation

of your excellent nursing skills of course.” She paused

as though in thought. “I think he’d like it up here for a

while. The Harvest Festival is just around the corner

and I think he’d enjoy it.”
She waited for a few minutes and then pounced. “He’s

just a little older than Julia isn’t he? I bet they’d have

fun together. She needs someone her own age to go

around with.” She poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Don’t you think so?”
Leaning on the counter in the kitchen, she breathed in

the aroma of the coffee. Feeling its warmth slide down

into her chest, she waited for her comments to sink in.

Marla was sitting there very quietly but Augusta

watched her face. Her eye movements betrayed her

quietness. She was as busy as a rat in a cornfield in

her thoughts.
A smile turned the corners of her mouth and her eyes

narrowed with the plans she was making. Augusta had

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set the wheels in motion. “Yes," Marla said with a

suppression of emotion, “I think he would enjoy it very

much.” Easing out of her chair, trying not to look too

eager, she left the room and called out to Candy to

help her onto her coach.
Augusta sat down on a kitchen chair and drank another

sip of her coffee. Her stomach felt somewhat queasy

and she figured the coffee was too strong this morning.

A little groan came out of her throat.
“Dear Lord, I hope I know what I am doing!” The

wheels were in motion now and she couldn’t stop it if

she tried.

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CHAPTER 19

Marla stepped into her small but tastefully decorated

living quarters built in back of her store. She knew he

was there before she saw him because the smell of his

cologne and the air of dissipation curled around her like

a rattler ready to strike. It sent shivers down her spine.
Already nervous with excitement at the proposal she

was going to set before him, she became even more

tense when she knew she would have to come face to

face with the person who could make or break her.

Forcing a smile that had to look genuine, she sashayed

into the parlor making a quick assessment to see that

all was still in order.
“Well my dear brother what brings you this way?” She

threw her arms out in front of her in greeting and he

caught them and with a charming smile twirled her

around.
“Still as sweet as a peach, big sister.” Evan Coultrane

appraised Marla and saw that she was as prosperous as

ever.
“And you my doctor brother are still the handsomest

man around.” He was handsome, but he was also a

rapscallion of the worst sort. True he was a doctor, but

his talents were more conducive for the nurses than

with the patients he had taken an oath to treat.
Evan’s other weakness was a love for gambling. A

weakness their father could not control. The genetic

weakness time and time again caused the downfall of

the Coultrane family.
Facing the destruction of his reputation, Dr. Winston

Coultrane ended his life with a shot to the head,

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160

leaving Mrs. Coultrane penniless. Fortunately Maria

Coultrane was a very attractive woman and a new

mate was found with ease.
She was not in love with Winston Goodwin, but he was

rich and that was the only thing that mattered to her.

He dutifully financed the education of Evan and placed

him in a university where the boy studied to be a

doctor. He also financed Marla’s coming out.
Married for only five years Winston died of a heart

condition and Marla, Evan and their mother were free

to do whatever they wanted with his money. They

found out, however, that their excesses had put him in

considerable debt and again the Coultrane family was

in financial ruin.
Evan graduated with honors and was offered an

excellent position at a prominent hospital. His income

kept up the family appearances. Then the gambling

began, and again the downhill spiral caused the family

considerable worry.
Marla realized she would have to plan for her future, or

there would be no future for her. She determined in

her mind that she would never be poor again. Her

circumstances and the need to survive, hardened her.

She learned, all was fair in love and greed.
Marla and Evan were not especially close but

circumstances forced them to form a bond in childhood

that took them through a tumultuous and difficult

childhood. They learned how to use one another and if

needed rely on one another if they had to. She was

counting on this encounter to become one of her major

coups.
“Sit down Evan.” Marla motioned for him to sit next to

her. “What a pleasure it is to see you after so long. I

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swear it seems like ages. It takes you so long to think

of me.” Putting on a face of hurt feelings, Evan started

to chuckle, seeing through the southern belle act that

Marla tried valiantly to perform. Wrinkling his nose in

disgust he waved his hands around and whined in

displeasure.
“Please sister. You are getting a little too old for the

debutante act.” Marla rolled her eyes and grimaced,

becoming more like her normal self.
“Thank you for that kind comment Evan.” She raised

her chin in a defiant pose. “What are you here for?”
Laughing out loud at Marla’s drollness, Evan gave his

sister an arrogant once over with his eyes.
“Lord have mercy, Marla, you know I believe you

should have been an actress. He did a quick soft shoe

and ended in a curtsey reaching one hand out to her.

“You certainly know how to set a scene don’t you?”

Seeing some mints in a delicate pink dish he reached

over picked one up and popped it in his mouth. Marla

dropped all the pretension and relaxed...somewhat.
“Well dear brother,” she said dryly. “I do not see you

unless you want something, so what is it you want?”
The way she was acting and the look in her eye told

him something was up. It was like an intoxication for

him to see if he could outwit her. Observing the

nervous control over her body, he figured she was set

to get something out of him. The only way to keep her

from maneuvering him, he decided was to get straight

to the point.
“I need money, Marla. I got into an unfortunate mess

and I find myself owing some money and I need you to

give it to me.”

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162

He was desperate. She could detect it by the excellent

masking of his expression and the nonchalant way he

had asked her, as though he expected her to give it to

him. She was familiar with his defenses and it amused

her to see him so needy. She took a deep swallow. It

probably was a big amount. Just play it to the end

Marla.
“How much do you need?” She stood up and went to

her simple but expensive cherry wood desk and picked

up her check journal. Evan watched her walk up to the

desk. Taking a deep swallow, he looked, not at her, but

the journal she was picking up. Licking his lips he

replied. “One thousand dollars.” Marla’s eyes flickered

for a moment. It was a lot of money but she could

afford that and was willing to pay more for what she

wanted.
A thought occurred to her that Evan was not the only

one who was desperate. Picking up her pen, and in a

flourishing script she began to write out a check to

him. Handing it to him she sat quietly down, put her

hands demurely in her lap, and watched him closely.
Examining the check, his eyebrows rose. Looking into

her clear, calm intriguing eyes he had guessed right.

She wanted something. She wanted it bad enough to

pay an exorbitant amount for it. His curiosity was now

piqued to the utmost.
“What does this mean?” Tones of doubt and wariness

creatively edged the cadences of his voice. “You have

given me double what I asked for.” Playing it cool, he

let suspicion counter the doubt. He knew his sister was

playing a cat and mouse game with him. “What is

going on Marla? What do you want?”
She leaned forward and conspiratorially lowered her

voice. “I have a request of you Evan.” He leaned

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163

forward. They stared at each other the way they used

to when they were children and would conceive some

wicked plot to play out in vindictiveness against an

imagined hurt.
“Well, tell me sweet sister.” His voice became bathed

in wickedness. She saw his eyes twinkle in expectation

of mischief. “You have such good requests.” Marla let

her guard down and nestled next to him.
“Evan, I have fallen in love with a man here. He’s a

rancher and well,” she looked demurely down at her

hands, “we have had a relationship for a year.” Evan

lips curled in a wickedly knowing smile. He put his arm

around her shoulder. Playing the concerned brother

role he put a protective tone to his words.
“He has treated you well, hasn’t he Marla?”
“Oh yes, Evan.” She widened her coquettish eyes. “He

has always been a gentleman. It has been just perfect

until he hired a young pretty thing to be his

housekeeper and governess. She has begun to be a

spur in my side.”
Her eyes became slits and her intonations began to

sound like the warning growl of a cat who was ready to

do battle, “He’s in love with her. He does not realize it

yet and I am not going to let him know it. She is in

love with him, but I have tried to make her see that he

is much too mature for her.”
“So you want me to come and act as a go between so

to speak?” Marla nodded her head. “Hmmm, I see.”

Taking his arms from around her shoulder, he stood up

and walked around the parlor as if he was thinking

about this situation. Marla eyed him studiously

wondering what was going on in that handsome head

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164

of his. Turning around suddenly, he put his hands on

the couch and smiled at his sister.
“Is this man rich? What does this snit look like?”
Marla’s eyes glinted in victory. The fish took the bait.
“He is well to do and she is as sweet as a peach.” Marla

looked over at her brother. “A very untasted ripe peach

Evan.” Evan heard the warning in his sister’s voice.

“Well then, I guess I am going to have to show this

peach exactly how fun it is to be tasted then aren’t I?

So let’s get this straight. I get her away from your

lover, and I get the reward right?” Marla nodded her

head.
Pausing in his imagining, he started picking at a thread

that was sticking out of the couch. “There is one more

thing Marla.” He saw her body go tense in anticipation

of his request. “If this works out, I want a thousand

more. I am not a greedy man dear, you know that, but

this is going to make me have to stay away from work

longer than I planned to. Not that they’ll miss me

much, but time is money as the saying goes.”
At the sound of a thousand more dollars, Marla looked

at him as if he was crazy, but by the determined look

in his face, she closed mouthed assented by nodding.
Evan sidled over to a lovely gold trimmed tray with

wine bottles and glasses set on it. Opening up a bottle,

which of course was her very best, he poured wine into

two glasses and handed one to Marla. They had both

won today and exhilaration was upon them. Clinking

their glasses together, they spent the rest of the

afternoon making plans; each one gloating in their

expectations.

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CCCCHAPTER 20

HAPTER 20

Travis was breathing easier now that Marla was away

for a while. He was becoming tired of the way the

woman fretted and fussed over him. He needed some

time to himself.
The children were sleeping soundly after Candy and

Travis had worn them out with horseriding lessons.

Smiling to himself, he remembered the smile on

David’s face when Candy got the horse to start a slow

canter. Mavis had howled out in fear and begged to be

taken off when the horse started it’s bumpity walk.

After a few minutes, when she realized she was not

going to die, she began to enjoy it and wanted more

when the lesson was over.
Walking stiffly among the pines Travis breathed in their

pungent fresh smell. Feeling achy and stiff, he wanted

to start stretching himself a little more to get back his

stamina. His wounds were healing and he felt strength

coming back more each day.
Julia was in the corral combing Sissy’s coat when she

saw Travis come around the bend. He could see the

concern in her face wondering if he should be out and

about but she was smart enough not to make an issue

of it knowing he wouldn’t listen to her anyway. Waving

to him she smiled and he figured he would wander over

and have a chat with her.
“Well," she said as she combed out Sissy’s matted

mane, “You’re looking better.” The injuries to his

forehead were healing nicely and even though they

would leave scars, they did not detract from Travis’s

gook looks.

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166

“Easy to say now that I am in a deformed state.” Travis

chuckled easily, “Scarred but alive.”
Julia felt a wave of pity wash over her heart and she

wanted nothing more than to run over and hug him

with the thanks she felt that he was just alive. Scarred

or not, she didn’t care. He would always be the man

she saw the night of the Indian festival. A feeling of

melancholy touched her heart when she thought of

their tender moment that night. Hiding her feelings,

she continued on with her business and matter of factly

said as she turned her fresh young face to him in mock

skepticism.
“Are you trying to get sympathy from me Travis

Parnell.” He laughed wholeheartedly.
“Naw, wouldn’t do any good anyway would it?” He held

out his hand to her. “Why don’t you come and take a

walk with me.” He looked expectantly at her and

noticed the look of uncertainty that fleeted across her

face.
“It’s ok Julia.” “Please just trust me.” “I think we need

to talk.” She paused for a moment and then patting

Sissy on the rump she put the comb away and started

to walk out of the corral. Tiny shivers crept up and

down her spine as she walked over to him.
Travis watched her as she approached. Having her near

him brought back the feelings that made him

comfortable; but also brought joy to his heart. She was

too nervous to feel anything. He perceived her

discomfort and tried to find a way to put her at ease.
“I remember when you first came here Julia. Boy we

did have some whopper fights didn’t we?” Julia smiled.

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167

“Yes.” She looked over at him with a twinkle in her

eye. “Augusta told me she didn’t think we’d last a

week.” Travis laughed.
“I didn’t think we’d last on the ride home. Augusta

pleaded with me to take you on that day. I was bent on

sending you back!” Julia looked down at the ground.
“I’m glad you didn’t Travis.” She kicked the dirt around

her feet. “This has been the best time in my life.”

Travis’s heart seemed to stop for a moment. He

directed them to some giant rocks that were down the

path. He lowered himself down on one.
“Whew, I’m getting a little tired.” He motioned Julia to

sit on the other one. Looking at her with compassion

filling his eyes Travis decided it was time to explain

himself. “I owe you an explanation for what happened

during our trip to the Indian village Julia. I just never

knew quite what to say.” He looked down at his boots

and then out into the view in front of him.
“My first wife Suzanne helped me build this place up.

She was a wonderful wife and I loved her with all my

heart. I brought her out here wanting to create a life

for me and her and I ended up killing her.
Julia looked up at him in horror. “You what?”
Travis realized what he had said. “No. I don’t mean I

killed her.” I never really thought about what life here

would do to her. How hard it would be. I took a city

woman with no understanding into a harsh wilderness

and expected her to know what to do.”
“The wilderness is harsh Julia. You haven’t even been

through a winter yet. You do not understand. It does

harsh things to a woman. Suzanne was pretty and

delicate when she came here. Within a year she was

starting to age with all the hard work and then with the

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168

children being born, she went downhill fast. After she

died, I closed a piece of my heart and vowed never to

feel that way again about any woman.”
A heaviness crept into Julia’s heart hearing the

weariness and sadness in Travis’s words. He took his

hand and rubbed it through his hair.
“It was my ambition and selfishness that brought her

here and I will live with that all the days of my life.” He

paused as though he was seeing a picture in his mind.

Then he continued, “What happened between us during

the trip to the Indian village was inexcusable. I acted

like a cad, without restraint or decorum and I promise

you it will not happen again.”
Julia, sitting on the rock, was absorbing all his words

with her heart growing heavier with each sentence he

spoke. Her emotions began to get the better of her as

she started to get defensive. She blurted out her

feelings before she thought.
“So you don’t feel anything for me?” She was thinking

about what Marla said
“They love my looking after them and Travis likes to

have me around because I am pretty and feminine and

I know how to make him feel like a man.” The woman’s

words pierced her now more intensely than when she’d

first heard them.
“Of course I feel something for you Julia.” Travis took

her hands in his. “I am much older than you and I have

been through a lot more living. You are young and

vibrant and beautiful. You should have a young

husband, a beautiful house and live in a place that can

give you a future not death. That’s why I am saying if

you want to leave here and try to find a position in a

better place, I will do all I can to help you.” Julia

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looked at him with alarm in her face. Tears started to

flow and she was helpless to stop them.
“You know something Travis? All my life no one has

wanted me. My mother, Paddy did, of course, but he

still kept on my mother to take on her responsibilities

as though I was something to throw away; tossed from

here to there.” She wiped her nose with her shirt

sleeve. “I came here and everyone has treated me like

one of the family.” She turned to glare at him.

“Everyone except you. You reel me in and out like a

fish on a line. One minute you love me the next you

don’t. You know exactly how you feel about me Travis.”

She stood face to face with him; her arms on her hips.

“You feel everything I do. You’re too stubborn to admit

you need me. I am not Suzanne. I am Julia Carwood

and I have already proved that many times.”
She rested for a moment exhausted by her speech then

slowly and wearily she continued. “I am thinking about

leaving. I spoke with Augusta about it two days ago. I

am leaving after the Harvest Festival.” Travis stiffened

at the words. “That will give you enough time to find

someone else to take my place. I have some money

saved up and I will be fine.”
Possessed by a lethargy and depression she had never

experienced, she edged off the rock and started back

to the house. Travis sat there feeling like he’d fought

old Marlowe again. Only this time, it was his heart that

felt wounded. She had spoken the truth just as he had

expected her to. He couldn’t deny the facts. He was in

love with her and that scared the living daylights out of

him. He only hoped that she knew that it was because

of that love that he was offering her the freedom that

was costing him so much. He could not do to her what

he had done to Suzanne.

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Walking as though the weight of the world was upon

him, Travis finally reached the front area of his house.

Marla’s wagon was standing in the middle of the road

and Travis felt even more depressed than he was a

minute ago. His ears caught the sound of a man’s

voice; unfamiliar but with the same southern twang

that was Marla’s signature.
Walking closer to the group, Travis saw Marla giving

orders to Candy. She was telling him where the

supplies she had brought needed to go. The person

standing next to her was almost a carbon copy of her

except that he was male and decidedly foppish for the

territory he was in.
“Ah Travis, there you are.” Marla whooshed up to him

and grabbed his arm. Pulling him forward, she brought

him close to the stranger. “Travis, I’d like you to meet

my brother Evan Coultrane. Evan, Travis Parnell.”

Travis reached out to shake the young man’s hand and

Evan shook heartily and smiled.
“It’s very nice to meet you Mr. Parnell. My sister has

spoken very well of you.” Marla looked up at her

brother and smiled. Travis looked warily at the young

man wondering why Marla had brought him here. Hell,

he thought the place is busting out already.
“Call me Travis.” “You planning to stay here?” Marla

laughed nervously and looked from Evan to Travis.
“He is a doctor Travis; I thought it would be admirable

if he took a look at you. I know you are fine dear, but a

looksy would not hurt.” She noticed the grimace of

rebellion on Travis’s face and knew he was going to be

angry with her. She smiled and locked her arms in his

and smiled up at him, “Just one time for me? Please

Travis?” Looking down at her he finally smiled and

nodded. He extended his arm toward the house.

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“All right. I am feeling somewhat peaked right now.”

Marla shot him a look of concern. “Shall we go and get

this over with?” With that, the entourage stepped into

the house.
Hearing a commotion of voices, Julia came out of the

kitchen with Augusta. She no longer looked like she

had been crying, but the emotions of the day had

flushed her complexion. She looked exceptionally

beautiful with her copper hair framing her face looking

as though she had just had hands rummaged through

it. Walking into the group she looked inquisitively at

the stranger.
“Julia and Augusta dears," Marla’s voice was sweet and

syrupy as though they were the best of friends, “I’d

like you to meet my brother. Evan this Augusta Reiner

our town’s midwife and nurse.” Evan greeted Augusta

who watched him with suspicion and a disapproving

sneer as he bowed a greeting to her. “And this, Marla

turned to Julia, putting her hand on her arm, “is Julia

Carwood; Julia, my brother Evan Coultrane.” Evan

gallantly walked up to Julia and took her hand. He

lifted it to his mouth and kissed it.
“Enchanted to meet you.” He said, as he stared into

her eyes.
Julia snatched his hand from hers ever so slightly and a

red blush spread from her exposed neck to her

forehead. Smiling, timidly, she stood there not knowing

what to say.
Evan evaluated the girl he was going to seduce. Pretty

was not the word he would use to describe her. She

was a wonder. Beautiful green eyes, the copper hair

and the superb body that this woman girl possessed

would be an enticement to any man. Evan old boy, he

thought; this is going to be better than you dreamed.

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Marla and Travis watched the encounter. Marla

watched it with shining eyed amusement. Travis

watched it like a bulldog staring out his prey. Augusta

watched Travis with amusement. She was going to

enjoy this. She was a little disconcerted at the way

Evan looked at Julia, kind of like a drunkard looking at

his last bottle of wine. She could almost see him licking

his lips.
Glancing over at Travis, Augusta saw he was warily

watching Evan. She recalled the way her dog Bones

looked at any animal that got close to his feed bowl.

Travis was looking exactly the same way. Smiling in

satisfaction, she wiped her hands on her apron and

headed for the kitchen. Travis broke everyone else’s

concentration. “How about that examination. Shall we

get to it?” The words came out in a tone edged with

the sharpness of a fine blade that matched his

expression.
“What? Oh yes.” Evan bowed to Julia and followed

Travis into his bedroom.
Marla bounced to her bedroom, Augusta went to the

kitchen and Julia followed her.
“Landsakes child.” Augusta rumbled with laughter. “Did

you ever see such a dandy?” Julia smiled. She had

been around dandies like that all her life. They weren’t

so bad. Most of them were outcast aristocratic young

men who could not, because of flaws in their

personality, live within the confines of their socially

demanding families. Cultured and intelligent they found

solace with her Uncle Paddy who would take them in,

protect them and act as a surrogate father figure. Julia

had found that they were usually of a big heart to

those they loved.

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“Oh I suppose Augusta. He doesn’t seem like a bad

sort.” She started putting away supplies. Earlier, she

had run into Augusta’s arms after her conversation

with Travis. Augusta had held her and consoled the

young girl. Offering to take her to her house after the

Harvest Festival, Julia had accepted and would think

about her future then.
Augusta listening to Julia’s version of the encounter,

wisely agreed with all that Travis said. He was too old

for Julia and with his problems maybe someone more

outgoing and loving would be better for her. In the end

Julia thought about it and even though her heart ached

for Travis she was considering Augusta’s words. Evan

Coultrane had come at a most opportune time.

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CHAPTER 21

The house was full of people for dinner that night. Evan

decided to stay on with Marla’s insistence promising

that they all would be out of there after the Harvest

Festival that was now only two weeks away. Travis

agreed to that hoping with Evan here, Marla would be

less fussy torn between the two men.
After a thorough exam, Evan had found Travis to be in

excellent condition. He complimented Augusta on her

doctoring. The woman had saved his life. There would

be some scarring especially on his back but it could

have been much worse. He was still weak from the loss

of blood and probably anemic so Evan told Augusta to

feed Travis plenty of meat and fresh vegetables.
They were all sitting together after a wonderful dinner

of fresh buffalo meat along with corn and carrots and

oranges Marla had brought from her store. Evan was

keeping them amused with stories about his more

picturesque patients. After a pause from one of the

stories, Augusta had excused herself to begin the clean

up. Julia jumped up to help her.
“Julia, Marla called after her, I’ll help Augusta. Why

don’t you show Evan around? I’m sure he’d like to take

a walk around this beautiful property.” Julia looking

somewhat uncertain glanced at Evan who told her it

would be delightful and gave her a dazzling smile.
“I would appreciate a walk around if it wouldn’t bother

you.” Evan looked at her eagerly nodding his head to

persuade her.
Julia gave him a dimpled smile and motioned for him to

follow her. Evan excused himself and followed the

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young girl out the door. Augusta noticed that a scowl

now colored Travis’s expression.
They traveled a well-worn pathway toward the corral.
“This is the corral.” Julia waved her arms in front of her

like a vendor displaying her wares. Sissy loped over to

her and nudged her arm to get some affection.
“Is this your horse?” Evan asked moving closer to her.
“It’s one I use.” Julia touched her cheek to the horse’s

muzzle. Sissy rolled her eyes in appreciation of the

caress. “I am just a governess here. Nothing really

belongs to me.”
“Well you seem to fit in perfectly.” Evan studied the

woman. “Where did you come from Julia?” He patted

the horse who looked at him with her kind large brown

eyes.
“I am from San Francisco. My uncle died and I came

here to start a new life.” He looked at her and

marveled at her expressive face. There was a flickering

of sadness in her expression and he wondered what the

reason for that was.
“Do you like your new life?”
“I thought I did.” Julia looked up at the stars that were

now beginning to show in the dusky sky. “I don’t know

any more. I am thinking about moving on.” She started

to walk around the house.
Tinged with purple from the setting sun, the lake and

mountains created a portrait of magnificent splendor

that even the most creative artist in the world would

have had difficulty putting on canvass. Evan sucked in

his breath. He hadn’t really looked at the scenery when

he was driving up here with his sister. Spending most

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176

of the drive creating his battle plan he had looked at

the land with unseeing eyes.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He looked over at her and her

face was glowing with the aura of the setting sun’s

light. Her long lashes caught by the sun created

shadows of themselves under her eyes. The breeze was

blowing her copper hair around her face and she had to

keep grabbing her hair to keep it out of her eyes.
“I have never been in such a place that I loved more

than this.” She took in a deep breath and started to

walk in another direction.
“Then why are you leaving?” Julia smiled a world weary

smile. “I guess it’s just time to try something else.”
Looking at Evan she observed an extremely handsome

man. His dark hair was long like Travis’s but it was a

styled long, created in its way by a professional who

had sculpted it to look like it had grown that way. His

eyes were a gray blue. They appeared intense and

hard. Having been around men like this with her uncle,

Julia thought she even saw a hint of dissipation in his

manner. A sharply sculpted face offset by an easily

smiling mouth revealed brilliantly white teeth. His nose

was long and aristocratic. Dressed with simplicity, he

showed great taste in the burgundy suede jacket which

topped tan excellently creased breeches stuffed into

shiny leather boots.
“So you are a doctor.” Julia smiled at him with dimpled

cheeks. “That is a valiant profession Evan.” “You must

be very proud.”
Evan looked down at the ground and smiled.
“Yes I suppose so.” “I guess I have never looked at it

quite like that.” He rubbed the side of his cheek. “I

never looked at it as a valiant profession.” “I just

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177

thought of the money I could get.” He noticed an

expression of shock in her face. “Don’t paint me a saint

Julia, because I’m not.”
Looking up at Evan, her face reflected an idealistic

acceptance of him. He saw mirrored in her beautiful

eyes no guile, no selfishness. She wanted nothing in

return for her comments. Everything he saw in the

woman, warranted respect.
Evan took her hands in his and looked at her tenderly.

Julia felt fearful and uncomfortable not knowing what

to expect.
“Julia, I know we have just met, but I feel very close to

you. I can see you have been gently raised and you are

so alone in this world. While I am here, would it be

possible for us to be friends? I’d like to make the last

few days here happy for you. Perhaps you’d like to go

riding with me and show me the country? You seem

like you need a friend.” He raised his eyebrows with a

questioning look and smiled a friendly smile. Julia liked

his smile and his comfort and she nodded her head in

agreement.

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CHAPTER 22

It was getting dark and the fire in the fireplace was

beginning to cast shadows on the wood floor. David

and Mavis made a game trying to hop on all the

moving shadows they could find.
Augusta, who was knitting, sat with Travis who kept

glancing out the window as though looking for

something or someone.
She set down her knitting and pinched the skin

between her eyebrows.
“My it’s getting dark isn’t it? I better light up some

more lamps.” As she was moving around the room, she

kept up a steady stream of conversation going.
“I think that brother of Marla is real nice. Don’t you

think so Travis?” Travis did not look at her but curled

his lip up at the corner in a sneer and rolled his eyes.

Tautly he answered her.
“You just like him because he complimented your

nursing.” Augusta smiled knowingly. She noticed that

Travis moved a little closer to the window and moved

the curtain to see better.
“Well, she needs someone her age to pal around with.”

Augusta came back and sat down and picked up her

knitting. “You know as well as I that girl needs to be

married with a family of her own.” Glancing over at him

she sneakily changed the subject. “Did she tell you

she’s thinking of leaving?”
“Yeah, she mentioned it to me.” He pulled back the

pale apricot lace curtains that covered the large scenic

windows and furtively looked out again. “She’s just a

baby. She doesn’t need to be married yet.” Augusta

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looked at him with an old friend’s attitude of

frustration.
“A baby!” She laughed. “Travis are you dead! You

obviously haven’t taken a good look at her recently.

She has turned into a real beauty. I noticed Evan was

smitten with her.” Acting nonchalant, she noticed

Travis’s eyes roving to the window too many times to

be anything but concerned about what was going on

outside.
“Where are they!” He jumped up and paced around. “I

am responsible for her. If anything happens...”

Suddenly footsteps resounded on the porch and Travis

quickly sat down and picked up a newspaper and

started to read it.
Julia and Evan walked through the door laughing and

undeniably enjoying each other. They were singing a

song that was popular in San Francisco before Julia

left. Travis sat behind his paper, with his legs hopping,

listening to every word.
“Landsakes you two.” Augusta jumped out of her chair

and helped them take off their coats. “You must be

freezing. Let’s go into the kitchen and I will make you

some hot cocoa.”
Evan took Julia’s hands and began to rub them back to

warmth. Travis, who had lowered the paper for a

second, watched with envy clouding his normally clear

brown eyes. He observed how Evan watched the girl’s

every move. He saw the tender way he touched her.

He didn’t blame Evan. Who could not love Julia?
Mentally he created a picture in his mind. Evan and

Julia lost in passion. Evan caressing her beautiful skin

and Julia giving to him the way she had given herself

to Travis on the way to the Indian village. His emotions

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180

were reeling. Who wouldn’t love Julia? He desperately

wanted her yet he was so afraid. The three of them

wandered into the kitchen leaving Travis sitting in his

armchair silent, pouting and pondering.
Later when he went to his bedroom, Marla was waiting

for him. He was sullen and indifferent. Marla knew he

was going to have a problem with Julia’s and Evan’s

relationship but he’d get over it. She would make sure

of that. Rubbing his shoulders and kissing his neck she

felt him relax and then she rested herself in front of

him and felt his arms encircle her. His kisses were

hungry and impatient and he seemed urgently

detached. She could have resisted him because she

knew what caused his fevered state, but she fed him

what he wanted and gave back as fiercely as he

wanted. It’s all in the plan Marla, she thought as he

began his lovemaking in earnest. All in the plan.

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CHAPTER 23

It was 11 days since Evan Coultrane had come to visit

and Travis was counting the days until the Harvest

Festival. True, he had practically handed Julia into his

hands but Travis was not been prepared for the way

she had practically run into the stranger’s arms and

accepted the situation.
Evan fawned and drooled over the girl until Travis

became sick to his stomach. He could have kicked

himself for saying what he did to Julia, yet he felt this

was the best way. He just wished she would have

picked a better man to cavort with. Jealousy ate at him

and devoured his peace. He could not concentrate on

anything. The more Julia became enamored of Evan,

the more Travis wanted her.
It was Thursday, two days before the Harvest Festival.

The women were baking and Travis had given his men

the rest of the week off. The ranch was empty now and

only Candy remained since he was practically a

member of the family. Travis usually gave the men

time off before the festival because everyone worked

so hard to get everything done before winter started

and a tired worker was no worker at all.
Looking up at the sky, and feeling the briskness of the

air, he knew winter was not far off. An emptiness fed

his soul when he realized that come winter, Julia would

no longer be there. Maybe she would be going with

Evan. That was not a prospect he had wanted to

believe, but it was evident that the man was courting

her.
He had to admit that Evan wasn’t as foppish as he

thought. The man was a considerable rider, and when

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182

it came to the rounding up of the horses or the

stacking of wood he was right in with the rest of the

men. Being a doctor, he had been very helpful around

the ranch with the injuries that occurred and he wasn’t

snobbish about helping the animals either. He could

carry his weight.
There was something about the man he didn’t like and

he didn’t know if it was because of his feelings for Julia

or an instinct he had come to rely on. Seeing Evan

sitting on his front porch, he was going to go over and

have a talk with him but he saw Marla head over there

and decided to wait until later.
Evan was allowing himself a time of restful respite.

Sitting on the porch gazing out at the tremendous

scenery, Evan was having a debate with himself.

Conscience was not something that bothered him in

any measure but it was bothering him daily lately.
Coming here had been a favor for his sister. He was

going to seduce a woman, maybe take her along if she

proved eager enough and then drop her along the way.

He had no plans to stay or to get involved but then he

met Julia.
In a world he had come to think of in cynical

terminology, he had found a sweet and fresh innocence

in the girl. Julia gave and received love without

wanting anything in return and that was a novelty to

him. She was unspoiled and courageous. She had told

him about her life and he marveled that one so young

and inexperienced would have the courage to go on.

He was beginning to care about the girl more than he

wanted to.
Concerned that his feelings were going to get in the

way of his need for money, he knew it was not going to

be as easy as he thought. He hadn’t figured on her

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being so beautiful, inside and out. He played with

desire and guilt and the two emotions were ripping him

apart.
Every day he would steel himself to be hard and play

this exactly like he and Marla had decided. Then seeing

her with the children, talking to her animals or doing

something sweet for someone, his guard would drop

like a wilted leaf. He knew he had to make a decision

and it would have to be soon. Marla saw him sitting

alone and wandered over to her brother.
“Penny for your thoughts.” She sat down next to him

and breathed in the pine laden air. Evan smiled and

winked at his big sister.
“I was just thinking how beautiful it is up here. You

know I think I could stay up here and be pretty happy.”

Marla laughed her sweet tinkling laugh.
“Sure you could Evan.” She sarcastically answered him.

“You’d get bored in two seconds flat without a game or

a woman to gamble with.”
Marla sensed a seriousness to his expression as he

turned to her and she felt a finger of fear wrap around

her body. “Evan, you aren’t getting sweet on this girl

are you?” Her voice became a low growl, threatening in

its' controlled pitch.
Evan looked apologetically at her and Marla lost all

patience. “Are you crazy?” She hissed. “You made a

deal with me and you are going to keep it.” Whispering

her warnings she murmured in his ear. “Three

thousand dollars Evan. Get her to go with you, then

leave her or whatever you want to do, but I want her

gone.” She stood up and her dress rustled as she

turned swiftly and left Evan to think about what she

said.

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He thought about his options. He had promised Marla

that he would get her out of there. He needed the

thousand dollars and two more thousand would help

him get back on his feet. There were men looking for

him he owed money to. He had not told Marla that part

of the story. Being where he was, was actually the

safest place he could be right not. But what about

Julia?
Most women who took on these kinds of jobs were

lonely, frustrated females desperate for a man to

marry them providing security and respectability. Julia

was not of this mold. He didn’t know what to do.

Intently mulling over his dilemma, he didn’t hear the

cowboy boots touch the porch and shuffle up the stairs.
“Howdy Evan.” Travis seated himself next to the

doctor.
“Travis. Good to see you.” The two men sat upon the

porch and looked out onto the landscape. “It sure is

pretty here.” Travis took off his hat and rubbed the

back of his neck.
“Yes it is.” He crossed one booted foot onto his knee

and settled in his chair. “I came here to talk to you

about something.” Evan turned to him with question

marks in his eyes.
“You came to talk to me about Julia didn’t you?”

Travis’s eyebrows raised for a quick second surprised

at Evan’s intuitiveness.
“I, uh yes. I feel responsible for the girl and I’d like to

know what you’re intentions are.” Evan could see the

narrowing of the eyes and masking of pain that filled

Travis’s eyes far back into their recesses.

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“Before I answer that,” Evan brushed a fly away. “I

need to know how you feel about her. You’re in love

with her aren’t you?”
Travis looked at him as if he was going to deny the

question. Evan waved his hands to stop him. “I’ve seen

you with my sister and I know you care for her but you

aren’t in love with her. I don’t blame you for all of this

Travis. I know my sister. When she wants something

she doesn’t give up and she wants you.”
Before he could answer, Julia rounded the corner on

Sissy. Her beautiful copper hair was flying in all

directions as she reined in the spirited appaloosa. Her

face was aglow with exercise and there was a grace in

her movements. Both men sat mesmerized by her

beauty. Without taking their eyes off of her. Evan

resignedly said,
“Well, I guess you don’t need to answer that. It’s

evident.” “Who couldn’t be in love with her.” Travis

looked over at Evan and smiled. “You haven’t answered

my question yet.”
“She’s special Travis. I want what’s best for her. I

haven’t decided yet what that is.”
“Tell me about it.” Travis put on his hat, stood up and

started down the stairs. He looked back up at Evan.

“Do you plan to ask her to marry you?” Without even

thinking, Evan nodded his head.
“Probably during the Harvest Festival.” Travis nodded

and turned to go. “Mind if I ask you something?” Travis

turned and looked at Evan. “What is keeping you from

asking her? I know you care.” Travis looked up at the

sky and then at Evan.

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186

“Sometimes caring just isn’t enough.” With that Travis

walked down the stairs leaving Evan wondering what

that meant.
The sun shone bright and warm. It was like that in

Montana this time of the year. Warm during the days

but it was starting to get very cold during the night.

Travis took a walk to the back of his house. Augusta

was outside throwing away the remainder of the

unneeded fruits and vegetables she and Marla had

been cooking.
“How’s it going Travis?” Augusta noticed the hard face

he was carrying.
“Uh, ok.” “I was just out for a walk.” Augusta set her

bowl down.
“Mind if I walk with you?” She stepped along side

Travis meeting his stride. “Do you want to talk?”
“Augusta, there’s nothing to talk about.” They walked

down the path to the swimming path.
“I don’t think that’s quite true Travis. If you could see

your face right now, you’d know. Do you think I’m blind

and dumb? I know how you feel about the girl and I

know how she feels about you! Let’s stop catterwallin

and get on with things Travis.” She turned him towards

her. Gently she spoke to him. “I know you loved

Suzanne. I did too. But honey, she’s dead. The last

thing she’d want is for you to miss out on life and be

stuck on to a dead memory for the rest of your life.”

“You’re kids need a momma and you need a wife.”
“There’s Marla,” he retorted.
“Ah bash.” Augusta sneered. “You aren’t in love with

her.” Travis smiled.

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“I can’t keep anything from you can I? Augusta when I

was sitting on the porch one day I saw Suzanne. I

know you think I am crazy but she was there. She was

beautiful like when I first met her. I had chills down my

spine. She told me to let go. She said that I had to go

on living. Then we hugged each other and she waved

good-bye and that was it. I figured I had a concussion

or something from Marlowe’s attack.” Augusta’s heart

went out to this lonely man.
“Honey, sometimes visions come to us to help us see

something. You should know that from Chief Wise

Eagle. You have to find out what it means.” She put

her arm through his and they wandered a little bit

farther. “I suggest you figure it out soon or we’re going

to have a wedding here with the wrong people for the

wrong reasons. Julia loves you but she has been hurt

and now here comes this man who treats her like a

queen. Any normal woman is going to get sucked into

that especially when she’s been hurt as much as Julia

has.” Travis listened to Augusta and knew he had to

make a decision.
“Suzanne, he thought, please come back. Please help

me understand.”

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CHAPTER 24

Julia woke with joy in her heart. It seemed like it had

been winter until Evan had arrived. She had not

laughed or felt her age in such a long time that she

wondered if Travis had not been right about her

needing someone younger and more cultured. Still Julia

missed her talks with him; the poker games, their

times with the children. She even missed their

arguments, his smell, his eyes and his manner and

missed the way he made her tingle and the way she

felt when he held her. She told herself that it was for

the best. Obviously he did not care for her and she

needed to get on with her life.
Her times with him now were short and he seemed to

ignore her and in her estimation, was ready to see her

go. Travis didn’t greet her with the smiles and warm

gazes she had become used to when she entered a

room and she missed the intimacy of his gazes. Julia

did not understand his reasoning but she accepted it

like she had accepted all the rebuffs she had received

in her life. Hurt had made her cast a wall around

herself and she would not let anyone in through the

door whom she had a doubt about.
Freely accepting Evan, their friendship had formed into

a close bond. She did not feel the passion and

happiness with Evan that she had experienced with

Travis but Evan was fun and he treated her like a

treasure and for Julia that was something very special.

It brought back to her the love her Uncle Paddy had,

had for her. Unwilling to let it go, she gave herself to it

completely.

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Julia quickly dressed and bounded down the stairs to

the kitchen. Evan was standing there and his face lit up

as she walked in.
“I was just about ready to wake you up, sleepyhead.”

He picked up a large basket brimming with goodies.

“Look, I have packed us a picnic basket. We are going

to enjoy this great day!” Grateful of his consideration of

her Julia hated to bust his bubble.
“Evan you’re so considerate but I have to take care of

the children and I also have chores to do. Julia looked

at him apologetically.
Evan looked pleadingly at Augusta. She looked at Evan

and then at Julia. Relenting she shooed them out of the

kitchen.
“I suppose it’s ok. Travis has given everyone else some

time off, I guess it won’t hurt for today. Julie, I’ll take

care of the children. Go and have some fun.”
“Thank you Augusta,” Julia ran to her and hugged her.

“We’ll be at the swimming hole if you need us.”
The two ran out and were on their way when Travis

strode into the kitchen. He looked like he hadn’t had a

minute of sleep. He tossed and turned all night coming

to a decision. He was going to tell Julia he loved her

and wanted her. The decision scared him. Afraid to try

love again, he felt more frustration at the misery he

was causing himself not saying anything.
Marla was getting testy at his mood swings and she

was making some demands that he was going to have

to do something about. He cared for Marla, but having

her around definitely put the kabash on anything

permanent. She was driving him crazy.
Lately she had been acting somewhat strange. She was

on pins and needles and the sweet good-natured

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190

woman he had come to know was now becoming a

sharp tongued harpy. Having Julia here had shown

Travis what Marla was really made of.
He thought about their conversation last night. She had

mentioned to him that she thought Evan and Julia

made a nice couple together. He said something

unremarkable of which he couldn’t even remember,

and she started to rant and rave.
“I just don’t understand why you are so dead set

against relationships.” She cried. “And I would like to

know where this one is going. I am tired of giving all

my time and effort to a man who either doesn’t really

care or can’t care. You haven’t even come close to me

in days.” Travis had responded to her telling her that

she knew what they had agreed on with this

relationship and why was she trying to change it now?

He knew where her desperation sprung from but he

could not help her. Then she had sunk in the dagger.

She approached him with a voice filled with anger and

hurt.
“I suppose if I was Julia, you’d change your mind.” She

had looked at him, with pain filled eyes, and he did not

say anything in response. His silence proved to her the

truth she spoke. They went to bed without speaking.
Travis spent the night thinking about the conversation

and knew he would have to tell Marla it was over.

Dropping himself in a kitchen chair, he yawned and

asked Augusta for a cup of coffee. Augusta intuitively

realized this was not a morning to speak to the boss.
Marla woke up late. Sitting up in bed she could have

cuffed herself for last night’s tantrum. Long ago she

promised herself she would not put any pressure on

Travis. She knew he would not accept it. She had let

her emotions get the best of her.

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191

Frightened by Travis’s lack of attention and

remoteness, her fright had sent her into a tempest of

emotions. Laying all her feelings on Travis last night

was the last thing she ever meant to do. She was well

aware, this morning, a great amount of their

relationship was destroyed last night and now it was

time to do some mending.
Thinking about how she could undo the damage, Marla

looked out the window. She saw Evan and Julia

chattering wildly and racing off to who knows where.

She was getting very suspicious of Evan’s intentions

these days.
“What is it they see in that slip of a girl?” She

wondered. “In my book she is dull, slow and a tomboy!

I am twice the woman she is.” She observed herself in

the mirror. “Even when I wake up I am still a lovely

woman.” Shrugging and tired of heavy thought she

plopped back down on the pillows. She had to keep her

energy to plot her next move.
Travis was drinking his coffee and slowly his mind

awakened to the chores for the day. Mavis and David

came sleepily down and asked where Julia was. For an

instant Travis’s heart skipped a beat thinking maybe

she had eloped with Evan then Augusta chimed in.
“She and Evan are having a picnic at the swimming

hole.” “I’m going to be your teacher today.”
Travis jerked his head up. “I don’t know about this,” he

said. “I pay her to be here to teach and take care of

my kids.” He banged his fist on the table making David

and Mavis jump. “Lately she acts as if she’s already

gone.” “I have half a mind to go and get her and make

her take her responsibilities more seriously.” Slamming

his coffee cup on the table.

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Augusta quieting her voice, reminded him that

everyone else but Julia had been given or asked for

time off.
“Travis, she has worked just as hard or harder than a

lot of the men here. She needs sometime to enjoy

herself. They’re just having a innocent picnic at the

water hole. Let her alone.”
Travis had to admit that it was true and calmed down.

His blood pressure went up again when he

remembered how she looked that day at the swimming

hole. Panic spread through his body when he thought

of her being alone with Evan. She was innocent and

unaware of life and desire. The way Evan already

admired her who knew what would happen.
Excusing himself from the table he accidentally

knocked down a chair in his haste to get to his

bedroom. Augusta chuckled to herself as he clumsily

raced out of the kitchen. He hurriedly dressed to

become Julia’s knight in shining armor should she need

it.
The day was warm and the sun was beginning to fall

down upon the couple with a vengeance.
“Boy it’s getting rather hot isn’t it?” Evan fanned

himself with a napkin and then proceeded to fan Julia.
“Mmmm, that feels good.” She lifted her hair off of her

neck and let the breeze cool her. Evan watched her as

she closed her eyes and relished in the fanned breeze.

He had never felt protective toward a woman before

but his feelings for Julia were beginning to take on the

attitude of ownership. Putting down his napkin he

started to undo the collar on his shirt.
“I don’t know about you but I am ready for a swim.”

Undoing his buttons he pulled off his shirt revealing a

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193

well-shaped chest with just a feathering of hair. “Come

on Julia, lets go swimming.” Julia hesitated.
“Is this proper Evan?” “I mean should we be swimming

together half undressed?” Evan laughed. There was still

some wickedness in him. She hadn’t changed him that

much yet. Sighing he touched her on the cheek.
“Silly girl.” “We’re not skinny dipping!” He rubbed her

arm and said, “If you’re uncomfortable, just come in

with your dress on.” “Otherwise just strip down to your

shift.” “It will cover you enough.”
Julia decided that he was right and shyly headed

toward some trees that grew clumped together to

afford her some privacy. Taking off her dress she

gingerly laid it on some bushes and timidly stepped

towards the water. Evan was swimming the opposite

direction so she quickly dove into the water to regain

her privacy.
When Evan saw her he raced back to where she was.

Popping up in front of her, he shook his head free of

water spraying her and causing her to put her hand in

front of her to ward off the force of the water. Then

challenging her to a race, the two swimmers took off

and Julia came in a close second coming to the other

side of the pond.
Unbeknownst to either of them, Travis trying to fight

the urge, had wandered down to the swimming hole

and was spying on the couple. He couldn’t let

something happen to Julia but he would not reveal

himself unless she was actually in trouble. He did not

want to hear the anger in her voice when she berated

him for humiliating her.
The couple frolicked and cavorted for several minutes

then they both raced out of the pond to dry themselves

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194

with the sun. Julia grabbed her dress and was holding

it in front of her for privacy. Travis’s eyes opened wide

with shock and then narrowed with anger when

dressed only in her shift she raced over to Evan.
“Come here Julia,” Evan called to her with his arms

outstretched to her. “Let’s dry in the sun.” Julia came

and sat down and Evan took her dress out of her hands

and set it beside her. “You don’t need to be shy with

me Julia.” His voice became like honey warmed tea.

Soothing and mellow. He picked a strand of hair off of

her face and caressed her cheek with his hand.
“I think I am beginning to fall in love with you Julia.”

She looked into his eyes. The tenderness she saw

touched her heart with a thankfulness that she couldn’t

describe. “Maybe, she thought to herself, maybe he is

the one for me.” Her heart did a tug as pictures of

Travis ran through her mind. “Travis does not want you

Julia.” “He has made that perfectly clear.”
Evan’s face came closer and closer and their lips

touched. His arms and hands stroked her hair and ran

down the length of her arms. He whispered into her

ear, “Julia will you marry me?” “You’d make me the

happiest man in the world.” She pulled herself away

from the kiss and looked at him. She was not sure how

she felt but this was better than being alone and

unwanted.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I will marry you.” Evan, delighted

at the prospect of marriage with Julia, ecstatically

hugged her.
“Now Julia, my love, since you are to be my wife, you

must obey me in all things. Let’s keep this our secret.”

“I don’t want to announce it until after he Harvest

Festival, OK? Everyone will be there and we can have a

wonderful time telling everyone.”

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“All right Evan.” “I promise.” Julia giggled as he pulled

her to him and kissed her again. His kiss was

possessive and tender at the same time. He wanted to

experience all of her but not now he decided. I’ll wait a

little longer for that.
Travis watched the intimate couple. Tears welled in his

eyes. She did not fight him off; she gave herself to

Evan as she had once given herself to him. He had lost.

She was Evan’s now and nothing could change that.

Here was another thing that he had botched up. In a

midst of blurred images, he got up and made his way

home.
When he got home, Marla was waiting for him on the

porch. She knew where he had been and by the look

on his face, she knew Evan had held to his side of the

bargain. Smiling tenderly at Travis she stopped him by

placing her hand on his arm.
“Travis honey.” “Are you all right?” She slid her hand

up his arm. He looked at her and the look withered her

all the way to her insides. Calmly but with savage

intensity he said,
“Get out and take your brother with you.” He left her

standing there while he went into the house banging

the door behind him. Racing in behind him Marla

followed him to his bedroom.
“What is the meaning of this Travis?” “I know we had a

fight last night but we have had fights before and you

have never spoke to me like this.” She was wringing

her hands and crying. He thought she was a pitiful

sight.
“Stop it Marla.” “Please don’t beg.” He sat on his bed

and put his head in his hands. Toning down her voice

and getting control of herself, Marla sat down next to

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196

him. Inside she was losing herself. She had never

expected a reaction like this.
“All right Travis.” “I will go.” “I do have all my harvest

festival things here and the festival is tomorrow.” “For

old times sake, could we please pull a truce and have

our plans last until tomorrow?” Travis looked at Marla,

the woman who had helped him through a very difficult

time in his life. He felt like such a jerk. It was not her

fault that Evan and Julia were together. Pulling her to

him he hugged her and even though it was a platonic

hug it gave Marla hope.

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197

CHAPTER 25

Julia was sitting in her bedroom writing in her journal.

It was the morning of the Harvest Festival. It was

surprisingly warm and there was no threat of rain.
Smiling Julia thought about the announcement she and

Evan would make today. Whispering to herself, she

voiced the words that she had thought she’d never say.

“I am going to be married!”
She mused on the idea for a few seconds when she

heard Travis’s voice outside her bedroom door. He and

Marla were going to take the children to the Harvest

Festival and she figured that he was there to pick the

children up. The kids were laughing and she could hear

their voices raucous and unending in their excitement

of a special occasion.
Julia loved the sound of his voice. Soft and deep it

comforted her in a blanket of masculinity. The

happiness that only seconds ago warmed her, fell to

the floor like a discarded jacket.
“Oh Travis, she thought, it could have been you and

me. She would never feel about another man the way

she felt about Travis. She never struggled to get to

know him; she just knew him.
Evan was sweet and gracious to her, but she didn’t

know him, and certainly she didn’t love him the way

she loved Travis.
Remembering what she said in the coach on the way

here she painfully realized how naive the statement

had been.

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“When I love, it will be a perfect love. I will accept

nothing less than that.” A knock on the door roused

her out of reverie.
“Julia, come on honey.” “We’ve got everything packed

and we’re ready to go.” “On my way Augusta.” Julia

had been up almost all night with the preparing of the

items they would take with them today and weariness

edged her excitement for the day. Pulling herself up,

she started her morning regime and began to dress.
Augusta, Marla and Evan were busy packing the

wagons when Julia strolled into the yard.
“My, my, my,” Augusta looked at the girl with surprise

and wonderment. Evan looked at Julia in appreciation,

and Marla looked suspiciously at Evan.
Julia was dressed in a white high necked lace dress

with a tight bodice accentuating her charming form.

The bodice graced by a broach the color of a ruby

gilded with an accent of gold was the only adornment

on the dress. She wore her shiny copper hair pulled

back. Holding it in place were two matching combs in

the same ruby color. Ruby and pearl earrings finished

off the picture and a beautiful picture it was. Evan

walked up to her and looked her up and down.
“Julia, you look like a dream.” She smiled and looked

into the eyes of the man she was going to marry.
“Thank you,” was all she said. She felt beautiful today.

Travis and the children were next to be out the doors.

Mavis ran up to Julia.
“Juwee, you’re pwetty.” Julia picked Mavis up and held

her close. She was going to miss these children and the

minutes were speeding by that knit her to them. “You

are too, sweetie.” She looked into the face of Mavis

and wished she never had to leave.

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199

Since the incident at the pond, Travis had tried his best

to ignore Julia, but today he couldn’t help sneaking a

look. He couldn’t believe what he saw. She had grown

up before his eyes.
Emanating from her person was a warm inviting

woman who could create desire in any man who would

happen upon her. Feeling his gaze on her, Julia glanced

over at him. Their eyes locked in a bonding of

whatever connection their souls had with one another.

It had always been that way with them and it always

would be. There was no question, nor reason, for the

bonding but it held them, possessed them even

through their separation of friendship. The desire

between them cooked at a slow burn and ate at their

beings. It was evident to all who were near them.

Evan, not missing the chemistry, cleared his throat and

touched Julia’s arm.
“Julia, it’s time to go.” Tearing herself away from her

attraction to Travis, she turned to Evan.
“Yes, Evan; I’m coming.” Evan helped her into the

wagon and as Augusta helped pull her up, she

whispered in her ear.
“Dear, you and I are going to have a talk.” Julia looked

questioningly at her and then settled next to her.

Marla, Travis and the children settled in the flatbed

wagon.
A couple of hours later the entourage reached

Mournful. Usually a town with very few people,

Mournful was busting its’ seams with people from all

over the area. Banners lined the entrance to the town

with calligraphic wording hailing the Harvest Festival.

Tables laden with a variety of foods created to tempt

the palete filled the roadway. Decorated with red, white

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200

and blue tablecloths they added a festive mood to the

customarily dull town.
Anxious to get to the pickled cucumber contest that

she was bound and determined to win again this year,

Augusta started to bark orders to everyone. Like a drill

sergeant, she expertly directed duties for everything to

be set up so they could all go and enjoy the festivities.

Marla for once agreed, she was eager to enter her

sweet potato pie in the pie contest. Travis loved her

sweet potato pie.
At the outer edge of the town was a park where

everyone set up their picnic equipment. It was a

beautiful area surrounded by pine trees that provided

shade and the beautiful ring of smoky mountains that

encircled the city. A little stream went through the

park. Adults and children, after a day of eating and

touring, would make use of the stream wading their

tired feet in the cool water. Inevitably, someone would

start a water fight and a free for all would begin.
It was Evan and Julia’s job to find a suitable place for

the group's picnic. They found a spot nestled next to

the stream with some big rocks behind them that

formed a barrier from the wind should it come up in

the evening.
In the middle of the park the town had built a dance

floor. Attached at the four corners of the floor were ten

foot posts connected by rope. These ropes held

lanterns that lit at dusk would brighten the way for

dancing. Swaying gently in the breeze the lanterns

would look like giant fireflies when the sun went down.

Because of the long distance, they had agreed on

boarding arrangements. Travis and Julia and the

children were going to stay at Augusta’s and Marla and

Evan would stay at Marla’s house.

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201

The cheerful sunshine and warmth of the day

brightened up everyone’s moods. Life seemed good for

the time being. Everyone agreed on the time and place

to meet for lunch and then they split up to join

whatever event they wanted to be part of.
Evan and Julia meandered arm and arm over to the

jelly making contest.
They laughed at the faces the judge made at each of

the wonderful delicacies he tasted. When they left,

they amused themselves with reenacting the faces the

man made and were laughing heartily until Evan’s face

suddenly went pale and Julia felt his body go tense.
“Evan, what is it?” Julia touched his arm concerned at

his expression. He looked at her but was not seeing

her.
“Julia, would you excuse me for a moment?” “I think I

see some business associates of mine.” Puzzled, Julia

stood where Evan left her. She craned her head

forward looking through the crowd scrutinizing the men

Evan was walking up to.
They were hard looking men, dressed like Evan had

first been dressed when he came here. The

conversation was grim and one of the men pushed

Evan ever so slightly. It looked like he was threatening

him by the way he pointed his forefinger at him. When

Evan turned around, he looked frightened and the

paleness had not left him.
“I’m sorry Julia,” he took her arm and led her away.

Taking his handkerchief out of his waistcoat, he wiped

his face. “They are some business partners of mine

telling me of some problems they are having.” Julia

looked at Evan with sympathetic concern.
“Evan, is there anything I can do?”

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202

“No dear,” Evan put his arm around her shoulder and

then played with her hair. “It will be all right.” “No

need to bother that pretty little head about this.” He

seemed to relax and his mood lightened so Julia

figured everything would be fine.
“When are we going to announce our engagement

Evan?” Julia took his hand. “I’m so eager to let

everyone know.”
“What?” He seemed somewhat distracted. “Oh, ah, well

tonight dear.” “I want to keep you to myself as much

as possible.”
“Well Evan,” Julia gazed into his eyes seductively,

“seems to me I’ll be yours forever.” Evan tenderly

kissed her and indecision and guilt clutched his insides.
The men he spoke with were creditors who somehow

found out where he was and found him. They were

demanding that he pay his gambling debts. They gave

him until Monday and then they’d be coming for him.

He thought he was safe in Montana but his world was

now crumbling and desperation was backing him to a

wall. How had they found him?
Every once in a while, Travis would get a glimpse of

Julia. Dressed way too finely for the group of people

that attended these festivities made him wonder why

she was dressed so formally. Had Evan asked her to

marry him? He didn’t like the idea that she would

belong to another man, be held by another man, have

children from another man. The more he thought about

it, the more depressed he became. Marla noticed his

depression.
She was getting fed up with Travis. This day was not

turning out like she had wanted. Everything she had

planned now seemed to be out of control and her

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203

nerves were getting the better of her. She needed

some time to talk to Evan. Wondering if the men she

hired to scare him had done their job, she scanned the

crowd for her brother. Not seeing him she bit her lip in

frustration.
Marla felt a moment of guilt when she sent the

telegram to his creditors telling them where he was but

she also spent a lot of time justifying to herself that

she really was doing the right thing. After all, Julia

certainly didn’t need Evan as a husband and if he was

going to be weak and indecisive, she was going to have

some security on her side. She did not want him falling

in love with Julia. She had not planned on this. When

you fell in love you became heroic and weak. He would

not succeed in this and she was going to make sure of

it.
Linking her arm in Travis’s she smiled in the privacy of

her conspiracy. Julia would be leaving soon, Evan

would leave with or without her. Augusta would be

back in her own house. That left Travis with nothing,

nothing except her.
The day wore on and a pink glow started to tinge the

frosty mountain tops. A slight chill made the women

reach for their shawls. The children who were die hards

in the stream jumped out and wrapped themselves in

blankets sitting by the fires to dry.
The atmosphere started to quiet down and all the

different groups of people sat down in their areas tired

and relaxed from a day free of work and worry. The

crackling of the individual fires, created different

aromas, depending on whatever was cooking, and the

low murmurs of the people created an air of

togetherness and camaraderie.

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204

The lanterns shined brightly on the dance floor and

everyone clapped at the start of a new activity. A small

orchestra consisting of a piano, banjo and violin started

playing soft and easy. Young couples who were still full

of energy, stepped onto the dance floor and moved to

the music.
Augusta had won the cucumber contest again. Tired

from her excursions she had fallen asleep under the

large pine tree they had set their picnic under. Marla

hadn’t won the pie contest, which didn’t surprise her

with all that had been happening. Sitting and fanning

herself to keep the mosquitos at bay she kept looking

impatiently at Travis expecting him to ask her to

dance.
Mavis and David had fallen asleep after filling their

tummies with all sorts of goodies. Evan and Julia sat

next to each other listening to the sounds around

them. Travis was watching Evan and Julia discreetly of

course.
All afternoon Evan had been distant and ambiguous.

Julia wondered when they were going to make the

announcement but she didn’t want to push him into it.
Every once in awhile, she would lock eyes with Travis

but his eyes were empty and unreadable.
Slowly more couples started to rise; man and woman,

boy and girl got up on the dance floor and started to

move to the music.
“Evan,” Marla walked up to her brother. “Since no one

else is going to ask me, would you like to dance?”

Marla gave Evan a conspiratorial look. Alerted to her

meaning, he smiled and stood up taking her

outstretched hand. Looking back at Julia he said,

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205

“Why I’d love to dance with my sister. Excuse me Julia.

I will be right back and then we’ll dance the night

away.” Julia smiled at Evan thinking what an attentive

brother he was.
Left behind, Travis and Julia sat next to each other in

nervous silence
“Evan,” Marla followed his lead. “What is going on?”

Evan looked back at Julia.
“I can’t talk to you right now about this.” He gracefully

turned her around.
“Then meet me in back of the rocks in five minutes.”

She looked hard at him. “I mean it Evan.” Evan sighed

and nodded his head. When the music was over, they

parted. Making an excuse, Marla explained that she

needed to go to her store and wanted Evan to help her.
“I can help you Marla,” Travis stood up to assist her.
“No, dear.” “You stay here and enjoy the music.” “I’ll

just be a minute.” Travis was nervous to be alone with

Julia so he strolled along the park visiting people along

the way.
He was on his way to visit with the mayor when his

eyes caught two strangers that approached Marla and

Evan. They did not go to the store but headed for the

rocks near where they were sitting. Intuitively he felt

something was going on and he followed them to find

out what it was. Nestling himself next to the rocks, he

got close enough to hear their conversation.
“Marla, what are these men doing here?” Travis could

hear the nervousness and fright in Evan’s voice.
“They are here to assure me that our deal will take

place as agreed.” Marla’s voice was hard with a tone

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206

Travis had never heard before; almost masculine in its

intensity.
“You, my sister?” “You sent them here?” Evan lunged

forward towards her but the men held him back pinning

his arms behind him.
“I asked you to get her out of here Evan.” Travis’s

attention became piqued. “That was our agreement for

the money I paid you.” “You have played around too

long and then on top of it you have fallen in love with

her.” “Do you plan to marry her?” Her voice took on a

sneering tone. “A simple girl with no experience who is

looking for a knight in shining armor to keep her safe

and warm?” She laughed. “Can you do that Evan?”

Travis didn’t see Evan’s face but he heard his voice

filled with pain and hopelessness.
“You don’t understand.” He cried. “You would never

understand because there isn’t a sweet bone in your

body.” “She was the first person who made me feel like

I was worth something.” “I don’t want to lose that.”
Evan shrugged out of the grasp of the men who

allowed him to. “I am planning on marrying her.” “I will

move heaven and earth to be a good husband to her.”

“I still will be honoring our deal.”
Travis felt sick to his stomach. Julia was headed for a

terrible hurt. Another hurt. He needed to help Julia.

She deserved better than what she would get with

Evan. Needing to do something, he stepped out of his

hiding place and looked at the group that he now

despised.
“Travis honey,” Marla was once again her sweet

southern self. “We’re just visiting with some old

friends.”
The look that Travis gave her told her to be quiet.

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207

“I heard everything Marla.” “I never want to hear or

look at you again.” Marla, knowing it was all over

started to scream.
“After everything I did for you.” “Slept with you, gave

everything to you.” “You want that namby, pamby

thing?” She was yelling with enough gusto that

everyone was now looking toward the direction of the

argument. Julia hearing Marla jumped up with Augusta

and raced over to the commotion. Augusta seeing what

was happening held Julia back.
“Honey don’t go over there.” Augusta held Julia’s arm.

Julia hearing Travis and Marla arguing shook off

Augusta’s hand and ran to where the commotion was.
“You never did anything for me Marla.” Travis was now

yelling. “You did it all for yourself. Then to get Evan to

try to woo Julia so I couldn’t have her. That’s going

way too far.” Marla stood there shaking with rage. She

looked over at Julia who now was looking at Evan with

hurt and shock registered on her face. Travis turned

around and saw the pain that consumed Julia. It

consumed him also. Marla saw the look on Travis’s face

and she could stand no more.
“I hired him to seduce you Julia.” Marla face distorted

with jealously and revenge was no longer pretty. She

viciously cried out. “I was going to give him three

thousand dollars to get you out of here.” She started to

laugh hysterically. Travis lurched toward her and

wanted to kill her. Julia called out to Travis to stop. He

whirled around and looked at her.
“Is that true Evan?” Julia stared at Evan silently

praying that it was all untrue. Travis ached with the

pain she would have to go through. Evan looked

pleadingly at Julia.

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208

“Julia, it started out that way but I came to love you. I

really did.” Julia looked from Evan to Travis. She felt

like her heart was going to explode. Barely able to

breathe, she broke away from the group and started to

run.
Having no direction or purpose, she continued to run,

rueing the day she had ever seen this town. Tired of

not being wanted she prayed that she would die.
Augusta, frightened by the look on her face, screamed

at Travis to go get her. Travis paused for a second and

told Evan not to leave.
“This isn’t finished yet.” He growled. Then he began to

run after Julia who was quickly becoming a dot in the

distance.
Julia ran and ran until her lungs ached. Breathing in

was agony. When she could run no farther she fell on

the ground sobbing; sure she was going to die just

from the agony of living.
She heard footsteps behind her and she turned around

and saw Travis standing there. Her face was puffy and

distorted from the crying and her eyes were red and

filled with grief.
“Get out of here.” She screamed at Travis. “I hate all of

you. Get out.” She screamed once again. Travis stood

there compassionately staring at her.
“No Julia, I won’t go. Not this time.” He spread his feet

out as though he was imprinting himself on that piece

of land.
“Then I will.” Julia jumped up from the ground and

started running again. He knew she couldn’t go far.

Exhausted and played out Travis knew all her energy

reserves would soon fail her. Sure enough he saw her

fall down a few yards ahead of him.

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209

Slowly walking over to where she was lying, he looked

down upon the woman he had come to respect and

love. Bending down he turned her over and picked her

up and carried her like a child he was putting to bed.

Exhaustion took the fight out of her so she weakly laid

her head on his chest.
Julia sobbed so hard she began to gasp for air. Travis

held her close to his heart. Sitting on a log that was

laying on the field he crooned comfort to her. She was

in his arms safe and comforted.
“There, there Julia.” He pulled her hair from her face.

As comforting as it was Julia could no longer trust

Travis and she had to get away from him and all the

hurt. Struggling to get free she screamed at him again.
“Let me go Travis!” She raked at his hand to get it off

her. “What do you think you’re doing?” “You’re going to

pretend you want me and then you’re going to get

scared and throw me away just like before.” She fought

off his grasp and was kicking and trying to bite him.

Travis had had enough. He took her by the shoulders

and shook her.
“What are you trying to do, kill me.” She yelled out

through shaking teeth.
“I’m trying to shake some sense into the woman I

love.” Julia stopped struggling and stared into Travis’s

eyes.
“You what?” Her eyes bored into his not believing what

he said but wanting to desperately for it to be true.
“I am trying to tell you I love you Julia. Please, I could

not bear any other man having you. You are mine,

body, soul, mind and spirit and you know it.” Taking

his hands off her shoulders and laying them by his side

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210

he sat there looking at her; waiting nervously for her

tirade to begin again.
When she just looked at him he quietly said to her the

words she had told him what seemed like so long ago.

“You know how I feel about you because you feel the

same way.” “Remember saying that to me Julia?” She

gently put her hand on his face, than onto his shoulder

and brought herself to him and laid her head on his

chest.
“You’re right Travis. I am yours and I always will be. It

seems like I was only waiting until you said the words.”
Lifting her chin so he could look down into her beautiful

emerald eyes, Travis gathered her tightly to himself.

He felt the peace and belonging, that seemed to evade

him for so long, fill his heart. He kissed the top of her

head. She looked up at him with eyes filled with love

that mirrored his own. Gathering his hands in her hair,

that glorious colored hair, he bent down and kissed

her. Softly and gently he touched her lips to his and it

was she that gathered her arms around his neck and

huskily said to him.
“Kiss me Travis.” “I won’t break.” It was then that all

the passion and want they had for each other molded

them and sealed the bond.

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211

CHAPTER 26

When Travis made sure that Julia was all right, he put

her into Augusta’s care and went to end some

unfinished business.
He found Evan sitting in front of Marla’s store.
“Evan,” Travis tipped his hat.
“Travis.” Evan looked up at Travis with an expression

that questioned whether the man was going to hit him

or not. “Well this is one festival we won’t soon forget.”
“How’s Marla?”
“Don’t worry about my sister Travis.” “She’ll come out

of it.” “She’s been used to getting her own way since

she was a child and I suppose this will take some time

to get over. She’s probably going to sell the store and

go back to Georgia.” Then as a second thought he said,

“I’d keep Julia away from her for a while though.”

Travis smiled.
“Yeah I think you’re right.” Evan’s face grew serious.
“I did love her Travis. I would have never hurt her.”

Travis nodded his head.
“I know.” Both men paused in silent thought.
“You know,” Travis said looking out at the mountains

rubbing the back of his neck, “you did a lot of work for

me while you were here. I never paid you for it. You

did a lot of doctoring also and that costs money. I’d

like to pay you for that.” Evan looked with disbelief at

Travis.
“No Travis. Under the circumstances I couldn’t take it.”

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212

“Well I met the two strangers who came into town on

my way here and they’ll be leaving today. They won’t

be bothering you any more.”
Evan stared into Travis’s face. He didn’t know what to

say. Travis placed his hand on his shoulder. “You aren’t

a bad fellow Evan. You made Julia happy for a while

and you were a great help at the ranch. We were all

used by Marla in some way. Family should give help

without gain. It isn’t right that you don’t get something

out of it.”
Evan stood up and shook hands with Travis.
“You are a grand man sir. I really mean that.”
Travis started to leave. He was anxious to get back to

Julia. Turning back to Evan, he added an afterthought.
“We need a doctor here. Consider it. It’d keep you out

of trouble.” Evan nodded his head as he watched the

big man walk over to Augusta’s house.
Julia was waiting for him on Augusta’s porch and when

she saw Travis, she ran to him. As she ran to him,

Suzanne’s image came into view once more for the last

time. She nodded her head as though she was

affirming what was happening. When Julia got to the

spot where she was, the image dissolved into Julia.
Travis understood now what Suzanne was trying to tell

him. He caught Julia in his arms and hugged her as

though he would never let her go.
Married in an Indian ceremony on a beautiful but cold

November day, Travis and Julia sealed their love for

one another. By now the trees had just about dropped

all their leaves and were waiting for the renewing sleep

of winter when they’d waken for a rebirth.

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213

The tribe hearing of Travis’s marriage postponed their

wintry trek but did not have much time until the snow

set in. There was not much time for grand planning so

the wedding, hastily prepared, but desired by many

took place very quickly. Julia looked radiant in her

white deerskin dress and beaded moccasins. Travis

peaceful now in his decision looked tenderly at Julia

who thought he was the handsomest man in the world

in his buckskins.
The whole town, through Travis’s urging, relaxed their

fear of the Indians. It was a time for rejoicing and for

the time being both cultures joined the beautiful copper

haired girl and the now most non eligible man in the

area in a beautiful white man and Indian ceremony.
When the ceremony was over, Travis pulled the

beautiful turquoise necklace out of his pocket that Owl

Woman had given to him and placed it around Julia’s

neck.
Owl Woman’s face shined when she saw it. Nodding

her head in happiness and clapping her hands, she was

now more than ready for Maho Peneta to come and

claim her. All her family was well and happy. Travis

and Julia, white wolf and loon would begin their lives

together.
Augusta watched them as they walked hand in hand

down into the valley towards the Lake of Good Tears.

The tribe had set up a lodge on the banks of the river

so Travis and Julia could have privacy and a time of

aloneness that was the Mandan way. A loon’s mournful

cry rode the breeze stirring the souls of each person

who heard it. Julia heard it also and smiled at the call

of her spirit host. It had shown her the way. Clear

Water also heard the loon and thanked the Great Spirit

for the spirit guide of the girl.

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214

The Spirits were right again. The loon who had cried

from its’ soul to deliver her people had entered into

Julia’s spirit. She had delivered Travis from

unhappiness, Evan from bondage and now the unity of

Indian and white man. Clear Water wondered if Julia

knew what changes she made. Someday she’d tell her.
The beautiful couple became dots amid the majestic

snow peaked mountains and the intense blue sky.

Sighing and inwardly congratulating herself on a job

well done, Augusta wiped her hands on her apron as

though signifying the end of an era and turned to join

the festivities.
“Landsakes,” she said as she wiped away a tear of

happiness.
THE END

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