Sutton's Way

"Becarefulwhatyouofferme..

"You...makeitsoundlikeathreat,"shebreathed.

"Itisathreat,Amanda,"Quinnreplied."Youcouldstartsomethingyoumightnotwant
tofinish."

Shebitherlowerlipnervously.Helookedmorematureandformidablethanheever
hadbefore,andshecouldfeelthebanked-downfiresinhimkindlingevenasheheld
her.

"Okay,"shesaidafteraminute.

Helethergoandmovedaway,thenturnedandgaveheralong,speculativelook.

''It'sallright,"shemuttered,embarrassed."Iwon'tattackyouwhileyourbackis
turned."

Heliftedaneyebrow,buthedidn'tsmile."Youcrazedfemalesexmaniac,"he
murmured.

"Goody-two-shoes,"sheshotback.

ToBarryCallof

CharbonsinGainesville,GA

Manythanks

SILHOUETTEBOOKS300E.42ndSt.,NewYork,N.Y.10017

Allrightsreserved.Exceptforuseinanyreview,thereproductionorutilizationofthisworkinwhole
orinpartinanyformbyanyelectronic,mechanicalorothermeans,nowknownorhereafter
invented,includingxerography,photocopyingandrecording,orinanyinformationstorageor
retrievalsystem,isforbiddenwithoutthepermissionofSilhouetteBooks,300E.42ndSt.,NewYork,
N.Y.10017

ISBN:0-373-08670-9

FirstSilhouetteBooksprintingSeptember1989

Allthecharactersinthisbookarefictitious.Anyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,is
purelycoincidental.

®:TrademarkusedunderlicenseandregisteredintheUnitedStatesPatentandTrademarkOfficeand
inothercountries.

CLS10987654321

PrintedintheU.S.A.

BooksbyDianaPalmer

SilhouetteRomanceSilhouetteDesire

DarlingEnemy#254TheCowboyandtheLady#12

RoomfulofRoses#301SeptemberMorning#26

HeartofIce#314FriendsandLovers#50

PassionFlower#328FireandIce#80

SoldierofFortune#340SnowKisses#102

AfterTheMusic#406DiamondGirl#110

ChampagneGirl#436TheRawhideMan#157

UnlikelyLoverMilLadyLove#175

WomanHater#532Cattleman'sChoice#193

"Calhoun#580TheTenderStranger#230

*Justin#592LovebyProxy#252

*Tyler#604EyeoftheTiger#271

*Sutton'sWay#670Loveplay#2Z9

RawhideandLace#306
RageofPassion#325
*LONG,TALLTEXANSFitforaKing§349

BetrayedbyLove#391
SilhouetteSpecialEditionEnamored#420

Heather ’sSong#33ReluctantFather#469

TheAustralian#239

Hoodwinked#492

SilhouetteChristmasStories1987"

TheHumbugMan"

DIANAPALMER

ChapterOne

Thenoiseoutsidethecabinwasthereagain,andAmandashiftedrestlesslywiththenovelinherlap,
curledupinabigarmchairbytheopenfireplaceinanIndianrug.Untilnow,thecabinhadbeen
paradise.Therewasthreefeetofnewsnowoutside,shehadallthesuppliessheneededtogether
throughthenextfewwinteryweeksofWyomingweather,andtherewasn'tatelephoneintheplace.
Bestofall,therewasn'taneighbor.

Well,therewas,actually.Butnobodyintheirrightmindwouldrefertothatmanonthemountainasa
neighbor.Amandahadonlyseenhimonceandoncewasenough.

She'dmethim,iftheirhead-onencountercouldbereferredtoasameeting,onasnowySaturday

lastweek.QuinnSutton'smajesticranchhouseoverlookedthiscabinnestledagainstthe
mountainside.He'dbeenoutinthesnowonahorse-drawnsledthatcontainedhugesquarebalesof
hay,andhewasheavingthemlikefeatherpillowstoasmallherdofred-and-whitecattle.Thesight
hadtouchedAmanda,becauseitindicatedconcern.Thetall,wiryrancheroutinablizzardfeedinghis
starvingcattle.She'devensmiledatthetenderpictureitmade.

Andthenshe'dstoppedherfour-wheel-drivevehicleandstuckherblondheadoutthewindowtoask
directionstotheBlalockDurningplace,whichwasthecabinoneofheraunt'sfriendswasloaning
her.Andthetenderpicturedissolvedintostarkhostility.

Thetallrancherturnedtowardherwiththecoldestblackeyesandthehardestfaceshe'deverseen

inherlife.Hehadaday'sgrowthofstubble,butthestubbledidn'tbegintocoverupthefrank
homelinessofhisleanface.Hehadamazinglyhighcheekbones,abroadforeheadandajuttingchin,
andhelookedasifsomeonehadtakenastraightrazortoonesideofhisface,whichhadawide
scratch.NoneofthatbotheredAmandabecauseHankShoemanandtheotherthreemenwhomade
musicwithhergroupwereevenuglierthanQuinnSutton.ButatleastHankandtheboyscouldsmile.
Thismanlookedasifheinventedtheblackscowl.

"Isaid,"she'drepeatedwithgrowingnervousness,"canyoutellmehowtogettoBlalockDurning's
cabin?"

Abovethesheepskincoat,underthebatteredgrayranchhat,QuinnSutton'stannedfacedidn'tmove

amuscle."Followtheroad,turnleftatthelodge-poles,"he'dsaidtersely,hisvoiceasdeepasa
rumbleofthunder.

"Lodgepoles?"she'dfaltered."YoumeanIndianlodgepoles?Whatdotheylooklike?"

"Lady,"hesaidwithexaggeratedpatience,"alodgepoleisapinetree.It'stallandpiney,andthere

areastandofthematthenextforkintheroad."

"Youdon'tneedtoberude,Mr...?"

"Sutton,"hesaidtersely."QuinnSutton."

"Nicetomeetyou,"shemurmuredpolitely."I'mAmanda."Shewonderedifanyonemight

accidentallyrecognizeherhereinthebackofbeyond,andontheoffchance,shegavehermother's
maidennameinsteadofherownlastname."AmandaCorrie,"sheaddeduntruthfully."I'mgoingto
stayinthecabinforafewweeks."

"Thisisn'tthetouristseason,"he'dsaidwithouttheslightestpretenseatfriendliness.Hisblackeyes

cutherlikeswords.

"Good,becauseI'mnotatourist,"shesaid.

"Don'tlooktomeforhelpifyourunoutofwoodorstarthearingthingsinthedark,"headded

coldly."SomebodywilltellyoueventuallythatIhavenousewhatsoeverforwomen.''

Whileshewasthinkingupareplytothat,ayoungboyofabouttwelvehadcomerunningupbehind
thesled.

"Dad!"hecalled,amazinglyenoughtoQuinnSutton."There'sacowincalfdowninthenext

pasture.Ithinkit'sabreech!"

"Okay,son,hopon,"hetoldtheboy,andhisvoicehadbecomefleetinglysoft,almosttender.He
lookedbackatAmanda,though,andthesoftnesslefthim."Keepyourdoorlockedatnight,"he'dsaid.
"Unlessyou'reexpectingDurningtojoinyou,"headdedwithamockingsmile.

She'dstaredathimfromeyesasblackashisownandstartedtotellhimthatshedidn'tevenknowMr.
Durning,whowasheraunt'sfriend,nothers.Butshebithertongue.Itwouldn'tdotogivethismanan
opening."I'lldothatlittlething,"sheagreed.Sheglancedattheboy,whowaseyeinghercuriously
fromhisperchonthesled."Anditseemsthatyoudohaveatleastoneuseforwomen,"sheadded
withavacantsmile."Mycondolencestoyourwife,Mr.Sutton."

She'drolledupthewindowbeforehecouldspeakandshe'dwhippedthefour-wheel-drivedownthe
roadwithlittleregardforsafety,slidingallovertheplaceontheslickandruttedcountryroad.

Sheglaredintotheflames,consigningQuinnSuttontothemwithallherangryheart.Shehoped

andprayedthattherewouldn'teverbeanaccidentorareasonshe'dhavetoseekouthiscompany.
She'dratherhaveaskedhelpfromapassingtimberwolf.Hissonhadn'tseemedatalllikehim,she
recalled.Suttonwasasdangerouslookingasatimberwolf,withafacelikethesideofabombed
mountainandeyesthatwerecoal-blackandcruel.Inthesheepskincoathe'dbeenwearingwiththat
raunchyStetsonthatday,he'dlookedlikeoneoftheoldmountainmenmighthavebackin
Wyoming'searlydays.He'dgivenAmandasomebadmomentsandshe'dhatedhimafterthat
uncomfortableconfrontation.Buttheboyhadbeenkind.Hewasredheadedandblue-eyed,nothing
likehisfather,notabitofresemblance.

Sheknewtherancher'snameonlybecauseheraunthadmentionedhim,andcautionedAmandaabout
goingneartheSuttonranch.TheranchwascalledRicochet,andAmandahadimmediatelythoughtof
abulletgoingawry.ProbablyoneofSutton'sancestorshadthrownsomeleadnowandagain.Mr.
Suttonlookedalotmorelikeabanditthanhedidarancher,withhisfaceunshaven,thatwide,awful
scrapeonhis
cheekandhiscrookednose.Itwasanunforgettable
faceallaround,especiallythoseeyes

ShepulledtheIndianrugcloserandgavethebookinherslenderhandacarelessglance.Shewasn't
reallyinthemoodtoread.Memorieskepttearingherheart.Sheleanedherblondheadbackagainst
thechairandherdarkeyesstudiedtheflameswithidleappreciationoftheirbeauty.

Thenightmareofthepastfewweekshadfinallycaughtupwithher.She'dstoodonstage,withthe

lightsbeatingdownonherlongblondhairandoutliningthebeigeleatherdressthatwasher
trademark,andhervoicehadsimplyrefusedtocooperate.Theshockofbeingunabletoproducea
singlenotehadcausedhertofaint,totheshockandhorroroftheaudience.

Shecametoinahospital,whereshe'dbeengivenwhatseemedtobeeverytestknowntomedical
science.Butnothingwouldproducehersingingvoice,eventhoughshecouldtalk.Itwas,thedoctor
toldher,purelyapsychologicalproblem,causedbythetraumaofwhathadhappened.Sheneeded
rest.

SoHank,whowastheleaderofthegroup,hadcalledherAuntBessandconvincedhertoarrangefor
Amandatogetawayfromitall.Heraunt'srichboyfriendhadthisholidaycabininWyoming'sGrand
TetonMountainsandwasmorethanwillingtoSetAmandarecuperatethere.Amandahadprotested,
butHankandtheboysandheraunthadinsisted.Sohereshewas,inthemiddleofwinter,inseveral
feetofsnow,withnotelevision,notelephoneandfacilitiesthatbarelyworked.Roughingit,thebig,
beardedbandleaderhadtoldher,woulddohergood.

Shesmiledwhensherememberedhowcaringandkindtheguyshadbeen.Hergroupwascalled
Desperado,andherleathercostumewasitstrademark.Thefourmenwhomadeuptherestofitwere
finemusicians,buttheylookedliketheHell'sAngelsonstageindenimandleatherwiththickblack
beardsandmustachesanduntrimmedhair.Theywerereallypussycatsunderthatroughexterior,but
nobodyhadeverbeengameenoughtotrytofindoutiftheywere.

HankandDekeandJackandJohnsonhadbeentryingtogetworkataVirginianightspotwhen

they'drunintoAmandaCorrieCallaway,whowasalsotryingtogetworkthere.Theclubneededa
singerandaband,soitwasamatchmadeinheaven,althoughAmandawithhershelteredupbringing
hadbeenalittleafraidofhernewbackupband.They,ontheotherhand,hadbeennervousaroundher
becauseshewassuchafarcryfromtheusualsingersthey'dworkedwith.Theshy,introvertedyoung
blondemadethemself-consciousabouttheirappearance.Buttheirfirstperformancetogetherhad
beenaphenomenalhit,andthey'dbeentogetherfouryearsnow.

Theywerefamous,now.Desperadohadbeenonthemusicvideosfortwoyears,they'ddone

televisionshowsandmagazineinterviews,andtheywererecognizedeverywheretheywent.
EspeciallyAmanda,whowentbythestagenameofMandyCallaway.Itwasn'tabadlife,anditwas

makingthemrich.Buttherewasn'tmuchrestortimeforapersonallife.Noneofthegroupwas
marriedexceptHank,andhewasalreadygettingadivorce.Itwashardforahomeboundspouseto
acceptthefrequentabsencesthatroadtoursrequired.

ShestillshiveredfromthelookQuinnSuttonhadgivenher,andnowshewasworriedaboutherAunt
Bess,thoughthewomanwasmoreliberalmindedandshouldknowthescore.ButSuttonhad
convincedAmandathatshewasn'tthefirstwomantobeatBlalock'scabin.Sheshouldhavetoldthat
arrogantrancherwhatherrealrelationshipwithBlalockDurningwas,butheprobablywouldn'thave
believedher.

Ofcourse,shecouldhaveputhimintouchwithJerryandprovedit.JerryAllen,theirroad

manager,wasoneofthebestinthebusiness.He'dkeptthemfromstarvingduringthebeginning,and
theyhadanexpertcrewofelectriciansandcarpenterswhomadeuptherestoftheretinue.Ittooka
hugebustocarrythepeopleandequipment,appropriatelycalledthe"OutlawExpress."

AmandahadpleadedwithJerrytogivethemafewweeksrestafterthetragedythathadcostherher
nerve,buthe'drefused.Getbackonthehorse,he'dadvised.Andshe'dtried.Butthememorieswere
justtoohorrible.

Sofinallyhe'dagreedtoHank'ssuggestionandshewasofficiallyonhiatus,asweretheother

membersofthegroup,foramonth.Maybeinthatlengthoftimeshecouldcometogripswithit,face
it.

Ithadbeenaweekandshefeltbetteralready.Orshewould,ifthosestrangenoisesoutsidethecabin
wouldjuststop!Shehadhorriblevisionsofwolvesbreakinginandeatingher.

"Hello?"

Thesmallvoicestartledher.Itsoundedlikeaboy's.Shegotup,clutchingthefirepokerinherhand

andwenttothefrontdoor."Who'sthere?"shecalledouttersely.

"It'sjustme.Elliot,"hesaid."ElliotSutton."

Sheletoutabreathbetweenherteeth.Oh,no,shethoughtmiserably,whatwashedoinghere?His
fatherwouldcomelookingforhim,andshecouldn'tbeartohavethat...thatsavageanywhere
around!

"Whatdoyouwant?"shegroaned.

"Ibroughtyousomething."

Itwouldbediscourteoustorefusethegift,sheguessed,especiallysincehe'dapparentlycome

throughseveralfeetofsnowtobringit.Whichbroughttomindareallyinterestingquestion:where
washisfather?

Sheopenedthedoor.Hegrinnedatherfromunderathickcapthatcoveredhisredhair.

"Hi,"hesaid."Ithoughtyoumightliketohavesomeroastedpeanuts.Ididthemmyself.They're

niceonacoldnight."

Hereyeswentpasthimtoasledhitchedtoasturdydrafthorse."Didyoucomeinthat?"sheasked,

recognizingthesledheandhisfatherhadbeenridingthedayshe'dmetthem.

"Sure,"hesaid."That'showwegetaroundinwinter,whatwiththesnowandall.Wetakehayoutto

thelivestockonit.Youremember,yousawus.Well,weusuallytakehayoutonit,thatis.WhenDad's
notlaidup,"headdedpointedly,andhisblueeyessaidmorethanhisvoicedid.

Sheknewshewasgoingtoregretaskingthequestionbeforesheopenedhermouth.Shedidn'twant

toask.Butnoyoungboycametoastranger'shouseinthemiddleofasnowynightjusttodelivera
bagofroastedpeanuts.

"What'swrong?"sheaskedwithresignedperception.

Heblinked."What?"

"Isaid,what'swrong?"Shemadehertonegentler.Hecouldn'thelpitthathisfatherwasasavage,

andhewasworriedunderthatfalsegrin."Comeon,youmightaswelltellme."

Hebithislowerlipandlookeddownathissnow-coveredboots."It'smydad,"hesaid."He'sbadsick
andhewon'tletmegetthedoctor."

Sothereitwas.Sheknewsheshouldn’thaveasked."Can'tyourmotherdosomething?"sheasked

hopefully.

"MymomranoffwithMr.JacksonfromthelivestockassociationwhenIwasjustalittlefeller,"he

replied,registeringAmanda'sshockedexpression."SheandDadgotdivorcedandshediedsome
yearsago,butDaddoesn'ttalkabouther.Willyoucome,miss?"

"I'mnotadoctor,"shesaid,hesitating.

"Oh,sure,Iknowthat,"heagreedeagerly,"butyou'reagirl.Andgirlsknowhowtotakecareof

sickfolks,don'tthey?"Theconfidenceslidawayandhelookedlikewhathewas—aterrifiedlittle
boywithnobodytoturnto."Please,lady,"headded."I'mscared.He'shotandshakingalloverand
—!"

"I'llgetmybootson,"shesaid.Shegatheredthemfrombesidethefireplaceandtuggedthemon,and
thenshewentforacoatandstuffedherlongblondhairunderastockingcap."Doyouhavecough
syrup,aspirins,throatlozenges—thatsortofthing?"

"Yes,ma'am,"hesaideagerly,thensighed."Dadwon'ttakethem,butwehavethem."

"Ishesuicidal?"Amandaaskedangrilyasshewentoutthedoorbehindhimandlockedthecabin

beforesheclimbedonthesledwiththeboy.

"Wellsometimesthingsgettohim,"heventured."Buthedoesn'tevergetsick,andhewon'tadmitthat
heis.Buthe'soutofhisheadandI'mscared.He'sallIgot."

"We'lltakecareofhim,"shepromised,andhopedshecoulddeliveronthepromise."Let'sgo."

"DoyouknowMr.Durningwell?"heaskedashecalledtothedrafthorseandstartedhimback

downtheroadandupthemountaintowardtheSuttonhouse.

"He'ssortofafriendofarelativeofmine,"shesaidevasively.Thesledridewasfun,andshewas

enjoyingthecoldwindandsnowinherface,thedeliciousmountainair."I'monlystayingatthecabin
forafewweeks.Justtimeto...getoversomething."

"Haveyoubeensick,too?"heaskedcuriously.

"Inaway,"shesaidnoncommittally.

Thesledwentjerkilyuptheroad,aroundthesteephill.Sheheldontightandhopedthebigdraft

horsehadsteadyfeet.Itwasaharrowingrideatthelast,andthentheywereup,andthehugeredwood
ranchhousecameintosight,blazingwithlightfromitslong,widefrontporchtothegabledroof.

"It'sabeautifulhouse,"Amandasaid.

"Mydadaddedontoitformymom,beforethey

married,"hetoldher.Heshrugged."Idon'tremem-
bermuchabouther,exceptshewasredheaded.Dad
surehateswomen."Heglancedatherapologetically.
"He'snotgoingtolikemebringingyou___"

"Icantakecareofmyself,"shereturned,andsmiledreassuringly."Let'sgoseehowbaditis."

"I'llgetHarrytoputupthehorseandsled,"hesaid,yellingtowardthelightedbarnuntilagrizzled

oldmanappeared.AfterabriefintroductiontoAmanda,Harryleftandtookthehorseaway.

"Harry'sbeenheresinceDadwasaboy,"Elliottoldherasheledherdownabare-woodhalland

upasteepstaircasetothesecondstoreyofthehouse."Hedoesmosteverything,evencooksforthe
men."Hepausedoutsideacloseddoor,andgaveAmandaaworriedlook."He'llyellforsure."

"Let'sgetitoverwith,then."

SheletElliotopenthedoorandlookinfirst,tomakesurehisfatherhadsomethingon.

"He'sstillinhisjeans,"hetoldher,smilingassheblushed."It'sokay."

Sheclearedherthroat.Somuchforpretendedsophistication,shethought,andhereshewastwenty-
fouryearsold.SheavoidedElliot'sgrinandwalkedintotheroom.

QuinnSuttonwassprawledonhisstomach,hisbaremusculararmsstretchedtowardthe

headboard.Hisbackgleamedwithsweat,andhisthick,blackhairwasdampwithmoisture.Sinceit

wasn'thotintheroom,Amandadecidedthathemusthaveahighfever.Hewasmoaningandtalking
unintelligibly.

"Elliot,canyougetmeabasinandsomehotwater?"sheasked.Shetookoffhercoatandrolledup

thesleevesofhercottonblouse.

"Surething,"Elliottoldher,andrushedoutoftheroom.

"Mr.Sutton,canyouhearme?"Amandaaskedsoftly.Shesatdownbesidehimonthebed,and

lightlytouchedhisbareshoulder.Hewashot,allright—burningup."Mr.Sutton,"shecalledagain.

"No,"hemoaned."No,youcan'tdoit...!"

"Mr.Sutton..."

Herolledoverandhisblackeyesopened,glazedwithfever,butAmandabarelynoticed.Hereyes

wereontherestofhim,maleperfectionfromshouldertonarrowhips.Hewasdarklytanned,too,
andthick,blackhairwedgedfromhischestdownhisflatstomachtothewidebeltathiships.
Amanda,whowasremarkablyinnocentnotonlyforherage,butforherprofessionaswell,stared
likeastar-struckgirl.Hewasbeautiful,shethought,amazedattheelegantlinesofhisbody,atthe
rippleofmuscleandthesmooth,glisteningskin.

"Whatthehelldoyouwant?"herasped.

Somuchforheroworship,shethoughtdryly.Sheliftedhereyesbacktohis."Elliotwasworried,"

shesaidquietly."Hecameandgotme.Pleasedon'tfussathim.You'reragingwithfever."

"Damnthefever,getout,"hesaidinatonethatmighthavestoppedachargingwolf.

"Ican'tdothat,"shesaid.SheturnedherheadtowardthedoorwhereElliotappearedwithabasin

fullofhotwaterandatowelandwashclothoveronearm.

"Hereyouare,lady,"hesaid."Hi,Dad,"headdedwithawansmileathisfuriousfather."Youcan

beatmewhenyou'reableagain."

"Don'tthinkIwon't,"Quinngrowled.

"There,there,you'rejustfeverishandsick,Mr.Sutton,"Amandasoothed.

"GetHarryandhavehimthrowheroffmyland,"QuinntoldElliotinafuriousvoice.

"Howaboutsomeaspirin,Elliot,andsomethingforhimtodrink?Asmallwhiskeyandsomething
hot—"

"Idon'tdrinkwhiskey,"Quinnsaidharshly.

"Hehasaglassofwinenowandthen,"Elliotventured.

"Wine,then."Shesoakedtheclothinthebasin."Andyoumightturnuptheheat.Wedon'twanthim

tocatchachillwhenIspongehimdown."

"Youdamnedwellaren'tspongingmedown!"Quinnraged.

Sheignoredhim."Goandgetthosethings,please,Elliot,andthecoughsyrup,too."

"Youbet,lady!"hesaidgrinning.

"MynameisAmanda,"shesaidabsently.

"Amanda,"theboyrepeated,andwentbackdownstairs.

"GodhelpyouwhenIgetbackonmyfeet,"Quinnsaidwithfury.Helaidbackonthepillow,

shiveringwhenshetouchedhimwiththecloth."Don't...!"

"Icouldfryaneggonyou.Ihavetogetthefeverdown.Elliotsaidyouweredelirious."

"Elliot'sdelirioustoletyouinhere,"heshuddered.Herfingersaccidentallybrushedhisflat

stomachandhearched,shivering."ForGod'ssake,don't,"hegroaned.

"Doesyourstomachhurt?"sheasked,concerned."I'msorry."Shesoakedtheclothagainandrubbed
itagainsthisshoulders,hisarms,hisface.

Hisblackeyesopened.Hewasbreathingroughly,andhisfacewastaut.Thefever,sheimagined.She
brushedbackherlonghair,andwishedshe'dtieditup.Itkeptflowingdownontohisdampchest.

"Damnyou,"hegrowled.

"Damnyou,too,Mr.Sutton."Shesmiledsweetly.Shefinishedbathinghisfaceandputtheclothand

basinaside."Doyouhavealong-sleevedshirt?"

"Getout!"

Elliotcamebackwiththemedicineandasmallglassofwine."Harry'smakinghotchocolate,"he

saidwithasmile."He'llbringitup.Here'stheotherstuff."

"Good,"shesaid."Doesyourfatherhaveapa-jamajacketorsomethinglong-sleeved?""Sure!"

"Traitor,"Quinngroanedathisson.

"Hereyougo."Elliothandedheraflanneltop,whichsheproceededtoputontheprotestingand

veryangryMr.Sutton.

"Ihateyou,"Quinnsnappedatherwithhislastounceofvenom.

"Ihateyou,too,"sheagreed.Shehadtoreacharoundhimtogetthejacketon,anditbroughther

intomuchtoocloseproximitytohim.Shecouldfeelthehaironhischestrubbingagainsthersoft
cheek,shecouldfeelherownhairsmoothingoverhisbareshoulderandchest.Odd,thatshivery

feelingshegotfromcontactwithhim.Sheignoreditforciblyandgothisotherarmintothepajama
jacket.Shefastenedit,tryingtokeepherfingersfromtouchinghischestanymorethannecessary
becausethefeelofthatpeltofhairdisturbedher.Heshiveredviolentlyatthetouchofherhandsand
herlong,silkyhair,andsheassumeditwasbecauseofhisfever.

"Areyoufinished?"Quinnaskedharshly.

"Almost."Shepulledthecoversoverhim,foundtheelectric-blanketcontrolandturnediton.Then

sheladledcoughsyrupintohim,gavehimaspirinandhadhimtakeasipofwine,hopingthatshe
wasn'toverdosinghimintheprocess.Butthecaffeineinthehotchocolatewouldprobablycounteract
thewineandkeepitfromdoinganydamageincombinationwiththemedicine.Asipofwinewasn't
likelytobethatdangerousanyway,anditmighthelpthesorethroatshewassurehehad.

"Here'sthecocoa,"Harrysaid,joiningthemwithatrayofmugsfilledwithhotchocolateand

toppedwithwhippedcream.

"Thatlooksdelicious.Thankyousomuch,"Amandasaid,andsmiledshylyattheoldman.

Hegrinnedback."Nicetobeappreciated."HeglaredatQuinn."Nobodyelseeversayssomuchasa
thank-you!"

"It'shardtothankamanforfoodpoisoning,"Quinnrejoinedweakly.

"Heain'tgoingtodie,"Harrysaidasheleft."He'stoodamnedmean."

"That'safact,"Quinnsaidandclosedhiseyes.

Hewasasleepalmostinstantly.Amandadrewupachairandsatdownbesidehim.He'dstillneed
lookingafter,andpresumablytheboywenttoschool.ItwaspasttheChristmasholidays.

"Yougotoschool,don'tyou?"sheaskedElliot.

Henodded."Iridethehorseouttocatchthebusandthenturnhimloose.Hecomestothebarnby
himself.You'restaying?"

"I'dbetter,Iguess,"shesaid."I'llsitwithhim.Hemaygetworseinthenight.He'sgottoseea

doctortomorrow.Isthereonearoundhere?"

"There'sDr.Jamesintown,inHolmanthatis,"hesaid."He'llcomeoutifDad'sbadenough.Hehas

acancerpatientdowntheroadandhecomestocheckonhereveryfewdays.Hecouldstopbythen."

"We'llseehowyourfatherisfeeling.You'dbettergettobed,"shesaidandsmiledathim.

"Thankyouforcoming,Miss...Amanda,"Elliotsaid.Hesighed."Idon'tthinkI'veeverbeenso

scared."

"It'sokay,"shesaid."Ididn'tmind.Goodnight,Elliot."

Hesmiledather."Goodnight."

Hewentoutandclosedthedoor.Amandasatback

inherchairandlookedatthesleepingfaceofthewild
man.Heseemedvulnerablelikethis,withhisblack
eyesclosed.Hehadthethickestlashesshe'deverseen,
andhiseyebrowswerethickandwellshapedabovehis
deep-seteyes.Hismouthwasratherthin,butitwas
perfectlyshaped,andthefulllowerlipwassensuous.
Shelikedthatjuttingchin,withitshintofstubborn-
ness.Hisnosewasformidableandstraight,andhe
wasn'tthatbadlooking...asleep.Perhapsitwasthe
coldnessofhiseyesthatmadehimseemsomuch
rougherwhenhewasawake.Notthathelookedthat
unintimidatingevennow.Hehadsomanycoarse
edges__

Shewaitedafewminutesandtouchedhisforehead.Itwasalittlecooler,thankGod,somaybehewas
goingtobebetterbymorning.Shewentintothebathroomandwashedherfaceandwentbacktosit
byhim.Somewhereinthenight,shefellasleepwithherblondheadpillowedonthebigarmofthe
chair.Voiceswokeher.

"Hasshebeenthereallnight,Harry?"Quinnwasasking.

"Lookslike.Poorlittlecritter,she'swornout."

"I'llshootElliot!"

"Now,boss,that'snowaytotreatthekid.Hegotscared,andIdidn'tknowwhattodo.Womenknow

thingsaboutillness.Why,mymamacoulddoctorpeopleandsheneverhadnomedicaltraining.She
usedherbsandthings."

Amandablinked,feelingeyesonher.ShefoundQuinnSuttongazingsteadilyatherfromasitting

positiononthebed.

"Howdoyoufeel?"sheaskedwithoutliftinghersleepyhead.

"Likehell,"hereplied."ButI'mabitbetter."

"Wouldyoulikesomebreakfast,ma'am?"Harryaskedwithasmile."Andsomecoffee?"

"Coffee.Heavenly.Butnobreakfast,thanks,Iwon'timpose,"shesaiddrowsily,yawningand

stretchinguninhibitedlyasshesatup,herfullbreastsbeautifullyoutlinedagainstthecottonblousein
theprocess.

Quinnfelthisbodytauteningagain,asithadthenightbeforesounexpectedlyandpainfullywhenher
handshadtouchedhim.Hecouldstillfeelthem,andthebrushofherlong,silkysofthairagainsthis

skin.Shesmelledofgardeniasandthewholeoutdoors,andhehatedhermorethaneverbecausehe'd
beenbrieflyvulnerable.

"WhydidyoucomewithElliot?"QuinnaskedherwhenHarryhadgone.

Shepushedbackherdisheveledhairandtriednottothinkhowbadshemustlookwithoutmakeup

andwithherhairuncombed.Sheusuallykeptitinatightbraidontopofherheadwhenshewasn't
performing.ItmadeherfeelvulnerabletohaveitsunusuallengthondisplayforamanlikeQuinn
Sutton.

"Yoursonisonlytwelve,"sheansweredhimbelatedly."That'stoomuchresponsibilityforakid,"

sheadded."Iknow.Ihadmydadtolookafteratthatage,andnomother.Mydaddrank

"sheadded

withabittersmile."Excessively.Whenhedrankhegotintotrouble.Icanrememberknowinghowto
callabailbondsmanattheageofthirteen.Ineverdated,Inevertookfriendshomewithme.WhenI
waseighteen,Iranawayfromhome.Idon'tevenknowifhe'sstillalive,andIdon'tcare."

"That'soneproblemElliotwon'teverhave,"herepliedquietly."Toughgirl,aren'tyou?"headded,

andhisblackeyeswerefranklycurious.

Shehadn'tmeanttotellhimsomuch.Itembarrassedher,soshegavehimhermostbelligerentglare.
"Toughenough,thanks,"shesaid.Shegotoutofthechair."Ifyou'rewellenoughtoargue,youought
tobeabletotakecareofyourself.Butifthatfevergoesupagain,you'llneedtoseethedoctor."

"I'lldecidethat,"hesaidtersely."Gohome."

"Thanks,I'lldothatlittlething."Shegothercoatandputitonwithouttakingtimetobuttonit.She

pushedherhairupunderthestockingcap,awareofhiseyesonherthewholetime.

"Youdon'tfittheimageofatypicalhanger-on,"hesaidunexpectedly.

Sheglancedathim,blinkingwithsurprise."Ibegyourpardon?"

"Ahanger-on,"herepeated.Heliftedhischinandstudiedherwithmockingthoroughness."You're

Durning'slatestlover,Igather.Well,ifit'smoneyyou'reafter,he'stheperfectchoice.Aprettylittle
trampcouldgofarwithhim...Damn!"

Shestoodoverhimwiththeremainsofhiscupofhotchocolatealloverhischest,shiveringwith

rage.

"I'msorry,"shesaidcurtly."Thatwasadespicablethingtodotoasickman,butwhatyousaidto

mewasinexcusable."

Sheturnedandwenttothedoor,ignoringhismuffledcursesashethrewoffthecoverandsatup.

"I'dcuss,too,"shesaidagreeablyassheglancedbackathimonelasttime,hereyesrunning

helplesslyoverthebroadexpanseofhair-roughenedskin."Allthatstickyhotchocolateinthatthicket
onyourchest,"shemused."Itwillprobablytakesteamcleaningtoremoveit.Toobadyoucan't

ChapterTwo

Amandaregrettedthehot-chocolateincidentonceshewasbackinthecabin,eventhoughQuinn
Suttonhaddeservedeverydropofit.Howdarehecallhersuchaname!

Amandawasold-fashionedinherideas.ArealcountrygirlfromMississippiwho'dhadnoexample
tofollowexceptaliberatedauntandanalcoholicparent,andshewaslikeneitherofthem.Shehardly
evendatedthesedays.Herworkinggearwasn'tthekindofclothingthattoldmenhowconventional
heridealswere.TheysawtheglitterandsexyoutfitandfiguredthatAmanda,orjust"Mandy"asshe
wasknownonstage,livedlikeheralteregolooked.Thereweretimeswhensheruedthedayshe'd
eversignedonwithDesperado,butshewastoofamousandmakingtoomuchmoneytoquitnow.

Sheputherhairinitsusualbraidandkeptittherefortherestoftheweek,wonderingfromtimeto

timeaboutQuinnSuttonandwhetherornothe'dsurvivedhisillness.Notthatshecared,shekept
tellingherself.Itdidn'tmattertoherifheturneduphistoes.

Therewasnophoneinthecabin,andnopiano.Shecouldn'tplaysolitaire,shedidn'thaveatelevision.
Therewasonlytheradioandthecassetteplayerforcompany,andMr.Durning'stasteinmusicwas
reallyextreme.Helikedoperaandnothingelse.She'dhavediedforsomesoftrock,orjustan
instrumenttopracticeon.Shecouldplaydrumsaswellasthesynthesizerandpiano,andshewound
upinthekitchenbangingonthecounterwithtwostainless-steelknivesoutofsheerboredom.

WhentheelectricitywenthaywireinthewakeoftwoinchesoffreezingrainonSundaynight,itwas
almostarelief.Shesatinthedarknesslaughing.Shewastrappedinahousewithoutheat,without
light,andtheonlythingsheknewaboutfireplaceswasthattheyrequiredwood.Thelogsthatwerecut
outsidewerefrozensolidunderthesleetandtherewerenoneinthehouse.Therewasn'tevenapack
ofmatches.

Shewrappedupinhercoatandshivered,hatingthesolitudeandtheweatherandfeelingthe

nightmarescomingbackintheicynight.Shedidn'twanttothinkaboutthereasonhervoicehadquit
onher,butifshespentenoughtimealone,shewassurelygoingtogocrazyrelivingthatnight
onstage.

Lostinthought,innightmarishmemoriesofscreamsandherownlossofconsciousness,shedidn't
hearthefirstknockonthedooruntilitcameagain.

"MissCorrie!"afamiliarangryvoiceshoutedabovethewind.

Shegotup,feelingherwaytothedoor."Keepyourshirton,"shemutteredasshethrewitopen.

QuinnSuttonglareddownather."Getwhateveryou'llneedforacoupleofdaysandcomeon.The

power'sout.Ifyoustayhereyou'llfreezetodeath.It'sgoingbelowzerotonight.Myranchhasan
extragenerator,sowe'vestillgotthepowergoing."

Sheglaredback."I'dratherfreezetodeaththangoanywherewithyou,thanksjustthesame."

Hetookaslowbreath."Look,yourmoralsareyourownbusiness.Ijustthought—"

Sheslammedthedoorinhisfaceandturned,justintimetohavehimkickinthedoorandcome

afterher.

"Isaidyou'recomingwithme,lady,"hesaidshortly.Hebentandpickedherupbodilyandstarted

outthedoor."Andtohellwithwhatyou'llneedforacoupleofdays."

"MrSutton!"shegasped,stunnedbytheun-

expectedcontactwithhishard,fitbodyashecarried
hereasilyoutthedoorandcloseditbehindthem.

"Holdon,"hesaidtautlyandwithoutlookingather."Thesnow'sprettyheavyrightthroughthis

drift."

Infact,itwasalmostwaistdeep.Shehadn'tbeenoutsideintwodays,soshehadn'tnoticedhowhigh

ithadgotten.Herhandsclungtotheoldsheepskincoathewaswearing.Itsmelledofleatherand
tobaccoandwhateversoapheused,andthefurrycollarwaswarmagainsthercoldcheek.Hemade
herfeelsmallandhelpless,andshewasn'tsureshelikedit.

"Idon'tlikeyourtactics,"shesaidthroughherteethasthewindhowledaroundthemandsleetbit

intoherfaceliketinynails.

"Theygetresults.Hopon."Heputheruponthesled,climbedbesideher,graspedthereinsand

turnedthehorsebacktowardthemountain.

Shewantedtoprotest,totellhimtotakehisofferandgotohell.Butitwasbitterlycoldandshewas
shiveringtoobadlytoargue.Hewasright,andthatwasthehellofit.Shecouldfreezetodeathinthat
cabineasilyenough,andnobodywouldhavefoundheruntilspringcameoruntilherauntpersuaded
Mr.Durningtocomeandseeabouther.

"Idon'twanttoimpose,"shesaidcurtly.

"We'repastthatnow,"hereplied."It'seitherthisorburyyou."

"I'msureIknowwhichyou'dprefer,"shemuttered,huddlinginherheavycoat.

"Doyou?"heasked,turninghishead.Inthedaylightglareofsnowandsleet,shesawanodd

twinkleinhisblackeyes."Trydiggingaholeoutthere."

Shegavehimaspeakingglanceandresignedherselftogoingwithhim.

Hedrovethesledrightintothebarnandlefthertowanderthroughtheaisle,lookingatthehorses
andthetwonewcalvesinthevariousstallswhilehedealtwithunhitchingandstallingthehorse.

"What'swrongwiththeselittlethings?"sheasked,herhandsinherpocketsandherearsfreezingas

shenoddedtowardthetwocalves.

"Theirmamasstarvedoutinthepasture,"hesaidquietly."Icouldn'tgettothemintime."

Hesoundedasifthatmatteredtohim.Shelookedupathisdarkface,seeingnewcharacterinit."I

didn'tthinkacowortwowouldmatter,"shesaidabsently.

"IlosteverythingIhadafewmonthsback,"hesaidmatter-of-factly."I'mtryingtopulloutof

bankruptcy,andrightnowit'satoss-upastowhetherI'llevencomeclose.Everycowcounts."He
lookeddownather."Butitisn'tjustthemoney.Itdisturbsmetoseeanythingdiefromlackof
attention.Evenacow."

"Oramerewoman?"shesaidwithafaintsmile."Don'tworry,Iknowyoudon'twantmehere.I'm..

.gratefultoyouforcomingtomyrescue.MostofthefirewoodwasfrozenandMr.Durning
apparentlydoesn'tsmoke,becausethereweren'talotofmatchesaround."

Hescowledfaintly."No,Durningdoesn'tsmoke.Didn'tyouknow?"

Sheshrugged."Ineverhadreasontoask,"shesaid,withouttellinghimthatitwasheraunt,not

herself,whowouldknowaboutMr.Durning'shabits.Lethimenjoyhisdisgustingopinionofher.

"Elliotsaidyou'dbeensick."

Sheliftedafacecarefullykeptblank."Sortof,"shereplied.

"Didn'tDurningcareenoughtocomewithyou?"

"Mr.Sutton,mypersonallifeisnoneofyourbusiness,"shesaidfirmly."Youcanthinkwhatever

youwanttoaboutme.Idon'tcare.Butforwhatit'sworth,Ihatemenprobablyasmuchasyouhate
women,soyouwon'thavetoholdmeoffwithastick."

Hisfacewenthardattheremark,buthedidn'tsayanything.Hesearchedhereyesforonelong
momentandthenturnedtowardthehouse,gesturinghertofollow.

Elliotwasoverjoyedwiththeirnewhouseguest.QuinnSuttonhadatelevisionandallsortsof

tapes,andtherewas,surprisinglyenough,abrand-newkeyboardonaliving-roomtable.

Shetoucheditlovingly,andElliotgrinnedather."Likeit?"heaskedproudly."Dadgaveittome

forChristmas.It'snotanexpensiveone,youknow,butit'snicetopracticeon.Listen."

Heturneditonandflippedswitches,andgaveaprettydecentrenditionofatunebyGenesis.

Amanda,whowasformallytaughtinpiano,smiledathisefforts."Verygood,"shepraised."Buttry

aB-flatinsteadofaBattheendofthatlastmeasureandseeifitdoesn'tgiveyouabettersound."

Elliotcockedhishead."Iplaybyear,"hefaltered.

"Sorry."Shereachedoverandtouchedthekeyshewanted."Thatone."Shefingeredthewhole

chord."Youhaveaverygoodear."

"ButIcan'treadmusic,"hesighed.Hisblueeyessearchedherface."Youcan,can'tyou?"

Shenodded,smilingwistfully."Iusedtolongforpianolessons.Itooktheminspurtsandthenbegged
a...friendtoletmeUseherpianotopracticeon.Ittookmealongtimetolearnjustthebasics,butI
doallright."

"Allright"meantthatsheandtheboyshadwonaGrammyawardfortheirlastalbumandithad

beenoneofherownsongsthathadheadlinedit.Butshecouldn'ttellElliotthat.Shewasconvinced
thatQuinnSuttonwouldhavethrownheroutthefrontdoorifhe'dknownwhatshedidforaliving.
Hedidn'tseemlikearockfan,andoncehegotalookatherstagecostumeandhergroup,he'd
probablyaccuseherofalotworsethanbeinghisneighbor'slive-inlover.Sheshivered.Well,atleast
shedidn'tlikeQuinnSutton,andthatwasagoodthing.Shemightgetoutofherewithouthavinghim
findoutwhoshereallywas,butjustincase,itwouldn'tdotoletherselfbecomeinterestedinhim.

"Idon'tsupposeyou'dconsiderteachingmehowtoreadmusic?"Elliotasked."Forsomethingto

do,youknow,sincewe'regoingtobesnowedinforawhile,thewayitlooks."

"Sure,I'llteachyou,"shemurmured,smilingathim."Ifyoudaddoesn'tmind,"sheaddedwitha

quickglanceatthedoorway.

QuinnSuttonwasstandingthere,injeansandred-checkedflannelshirtwithacupofblackcoffeein
onehand,watchingthem.

"Noneofthatrockstuff,"hesaidshortly."That'sabadinfluenceonkids."

"Badinfluence?"Amandawasalmostshocked,despitethefactthatshe'dgaugedhistastesvery

well.

"Thoseraucouslyricsandsuggestivecostumes,andsatanism,"hemuttered."Iconfiscatedhistapes

andputthemaway.It'sindecent."

"Someofitis,yes,"sheagreedquietly."Butyoucan'tlumpitallintoonecategory,Mr.Sutton.And

thesedays,alotofthegroupsareevenencouragingchastityandgoingtowarondruguse..."

"Youdon'treallybelievethatbull,doyou?"heaskedcoldly.

"It'strue,Dad,"Elliotpipedup.

"Youcanshutup,"hetoldhisson.Heturned."I'vegotalotofpaperworktogetthrough.Don'tturn
thatthingonhigh,willyou?Harrywillshowyoutoyourroomwhenyou'rereadytobeddown,Miss
Corrie,"headded,andlookedasifhe'dliketohaveshownhertoaroomunderwater."OrElliotcan."

"Thanksagain,"shesaid,butshedidn'tlookup.Hemadeherfeeltotallyinadequateandguilty.Ina

smallway,itwaslikegoingbacktothatnight...

"Don'tstayuppastnine,Elliot,"Quinntoldhisson.

"Okay,Dad."

Amandalookedafterthetallmanwithherjawhangingloose."Whatdidhesay?"sheasked.

"Hesaidnottostayuppastnine,"Elliotreplied."Weallgotobedatnine,"headdedwithagrinat

herexpression."There,there,you'llgetusedtoit.Ranchlife,youknow.Here,now,whatwasthat
aboutaB-flat?What'saB-flat?"

Shewasobviouslyexpectedtogotobedwiththechickensandprobablygetupwiththem,too.
Absentlyshepickedupthekeyboardandbegantoexplainthebasicsofmusic.toElliot.

"Didhereallyhideallyourtapes?"sheaskedcuriously.

"Yes,hedid,"Elliotchuckled,glancingtowardthestairs."ButIknowwherehehidthem."He

studiedherwithpursedlips."Youknow,youlookawfullyfamiliarsomehow."

Amandamanagedtokeepacalmexpressiononher

face,despitehertwingeoffear.Herpicture,along
withthatofthemeninthegroup,wasonalltheiral-
bumsandtapes.GodforbidthatElliotshouldbeafan
andhaveoneofthem,buttheywerepopularwith
youngpeoplehisage."Theysayweallhaveacoun-
terpart,don'tthey?"sheaskedandsmiled."Maybe
yousawsomebodywholookedlikeme.Here,thisis
howyourunaCscale__"

ShesuccessfullychangedthesubjectandElliotdidn'tbringitupagain.Theywentupstairsahalfhour
later,andshebreathedasighofrelief.SincetheautocraticMr.Suttonhadn'tgivenhertimetopack,
shewoundupsleepinginherclothesunderthespotlesswhitesheets.Sheonlyhopedthatshewasn't
goingtohavethenightmareshere.Shecouldn'tbearthethoughtofhavingQuinnSuttonaskher
aboutthem.He'dprobablysaythatshe'dgottenjustwhatshedeserved.

Butthenightmaresdidn'tcome.Shesleptwithdeliciousabandonanddidn'tdreamatall.Shewokeup
thenextmorningoddlyrefreshedjustasthesunwascomingup,evenbeforeElliotknockedonher
doortotellherthatHarryhadbreakfastreadydownstairs.

Shecombedoutherhairandrebraidedit,wrappingitaroundthecrownofherheadandpinningit

thereasshe'dhaditlastnight.Shetidiedherselfaftershe'dwashedup,andwentdownstairswitha
livelystep.

QuinnSuttonandElliotwerealreadymakinggreatinroadsintohuge,fluffypancakessmotheredin
syrupwhenshejoinedthem.

Harrybroughtinafreshpotofcoffeeandgrinnedather."Howaboutsomehotcakesandsausage?"
heasked.

"Justahotcakeandasausage,please,"shesaidandgrinnedback."I'mnotmuchofabreakfast

person."

"You'lllearnifyoustayinthesemountainslong,"Quinnsaid,sparingheraspeakingglance."You

needmoremeatonthosebones.Fixherthree,Harry."

"Now,listen..."shebegan.

"No,youlisten,"Quinnsaidimperturbably,sippingblackcoffee."Myhouse,myrules."

Shesighed.Itwasjustlikeold-timesattheorphanage,duringoneofherfather'sbingeswhenshe'd
hadtolivewithMrs.Brim'srules."Yes,sir,"shesaidabsently.

Heglaredather."I'mthirty-four,andyouaren'tyoungenoughtocallme'sir.'"

Sheliftedstartleddarkeyestohis."I'mtwenty-four,"shesaid."Areyoureallyjustthirty-four?"

Sheflushedevenasshesaidit.Hedidlooksomucholder,butshehadn'tmeanttosayanything."I'm
sorry.Thatsoundedterrible."

"IlookolderthanIam,"hesaideasily."I'vegotafrienddowninTexaswhothoughtIwasinmy

latethirties,andhe'sknownmeforyears.Noneedtoapologize."Hedidn'taddthathehadalotof
mileageonhim,thankstohisex-wife."Youlookyoungerthantwenty-four,"hedidadd.

Hepushedawayhisemptyplateandsippedcoffee,staringatherthroughthesteamrisingfromit.He
waswearingablue-checkedflannelshirtthismorning,buttoneduptohisthroat,withjeansthatwere
wellfittingbutnotoverlytight.Hedidn'tdresslikethemeninAmanda'sworld,butthen,themenshe
knewweren'tthesamebreedasthisTetonman.

"Amandataughtmeallaboutscaleslastnight,"Elliotsaidexcitedly."Shereallyknowsmusic."

"Howdidyoumanagetolearn?"Quinnaskedher,andshesawinhiseyesthathewasremembering

whatshe'dtoldhimaboutheralcoholicfather.

Sheliftedhereyesfromherplate."Duringmydad'sbinges,Istayedatthelocalorphanage.There
wasaladytherewhoplayedforherchurch.Shetaughtme."

"Nosistersorbrothers?"heaskedquietly.

Sheshookherhead."Nobodyintheworld,exceptanaunt."Sheliftedhercoffeecup."She'sanartist,
andshe'sbeenlivingwithherlatestlover—"

"You'dbettergettoschool,son,"Quinninterruptedtersely,noddingatElliot.

"Isurehad,orI'llbelate.Seeyou!"

Hegrabbedhisbooksandhiscoatandwasgoneinaflash,andHarrygatheredtheplateswithasmile
andvanishedintothekitchen.

"Don'ttalkaboutthingslikethataroundElliot,"Quinnsaidshortly."Heunderstandsmorethanyou

think.Idon'twanthimcorrupted."

"Don'tyourealizethatmosttwelve-year-oldboysknowmoreaboutlifethangrown-upsthese

days?"sheaskedwithafaintsmile.

"Inyourworld,maybe.Notinmine."

Shecouldhavetoldhimthatshewasdiscussingthewaythingswere,notthewayshepreferredthem,
butsheknewitwouldbeuseless.Hewassocertainthatshewaswildlyliberated.Shesighed."Maybe
so,"shemurmured.

"I'mold-fashioned,"headded.Hisdarkeyesnarrowedonherface."Idon'twantElliotexposedto

theliberatedoutlookoftheso-calledmodernworlduntilhe'soldenoughtounderstandthathehasa
choice.Idon'tlikeasocietythatridiculeshonorandfidelityandinnocence.SoIfightbackintheonly
wayIcan.IgotochurchonSunday,MissCorrie,"hemused,smilingathercuriousexpression.
"Elliotgoes,too.Youmightnotknowitfromwatchingtelevisionorgoingtomovies,butthereare
stillafewpeopleinAmericawhoalsogotochurchonSunday,whoworkhardallweekandfind
theirrelaxationinwaysthatdon'tinvolvedrugs,boozeorcasualsex.How'sthatforashocking
revelation?"

"NobodyeveraccusedHollywoodofportrayingreallife,"sherepliedwithasmile."Butifyou

wantmyhonestopinion,I'mprettysickofgratuitoussex,filthylanguageandgraphicviolenceinthe
newermovies.Infact,I'msosickofitthatI'vegonebacktowatchingtheold-timemoviesfromthe
1940s."Shelaughedathisexpression."Letmetellyou,theseoldmovieshadrealhandicaps—the
actorsallhadtokeeptheirclothesonandtheycouldn'tswear.Thewriterswereequallylimited,so
theycreatedsomeofthemostgrippingdramaseverproduced.Ilovethem.Andbestofall,youcan
evenwatchthemwithkids."

Hepursedhislips,hisdarkeyesholdinghers."IlikeGeorgeBrent,GeorgeSanders,Humphrey
Bogart,BetteDavisandCaryGrantbest,"heconfessed."Yes,Iwatchthem,too."

"I'mnotreallyallthatmodernmyself,"sheconfessed,toyingwiththetablecloth."Iliveinthecity,

butnotinthefastlane."Sheputdownhercoffeecup."Icanunderstandwhyyoufeelthewayyoudo,
abouttakingElliottochurchandall.Elliottoldmealittleabouthismother..."

Hecloseduplikeaplant."Idon'ttalktooutsidersaboutmypersonallife,"hesaidwithoutapology

andgotup,toweringoverher."Ifyou'dliketowatchtelevisionorlistentomusic,you'rewelcome.
I'vegotworktodo."

"CanIhelp?"sheasked.

Hisheavyeyebrowslifted."Thisisn'tthecity."

"Iknowhowtocutopenabaleofhay,"shesaid."Theorphanagewasonabigfarm.Igrewupdoing
chores.Icanevenmilkacow."

"Youwon'tmilkthekindofcowsIkeep,"hereturned.Hisdarkeyesnarrowed."Youcanfeedthose

calvesinthebarn,ifyoulike.Harrycanshowyouwherethebottleis."

Whichmeantthathewasn'tgoingtowastehistimeonher.Shenodded,tryingnottofeellikean

unwantedguest.Justforafewminutesshe'dmanagedtogetunderthathardreserve.Maybethatwas
goodenoughforastart."Okay."

Hisblackeyesglancedoverherhair."Youhaven'twornitdownsincethenightElliotbroughtyou
here,"hesaidabsently.

"Idon'teverwearitdownathome,asarule,"shesaidquietly."It...getsinmyway."Itgot

recognized,too,shethought,whichwaswhyshedidn'tdareletitloosearoundElliottoooften.

Hiseyesnarrowedforaninstantbeforeheturnedandshoulderedintohisjacket.

"Don'tleavetheperimeteroftheyard,"hesaidashestuckhisweather-beatenStetsononhisdark,

thickhair."Thisiswildcountry.Wehavebearsandwolves,andaneighborwhostillsetstraps."

"Iknowmylimitations,thanks,"shesaid."Doyouhavehelp,besidesyourself?"

Heturned,thrustinghisbig,leanhandsintoworkgloves."Yes,Ihavefourcowboyswhowork
aroundtheplace.They'reallmarried."

Sheblushed."Thankyouforyoursterlingassessmentofmycharacter."

"Youmaylikeoldmovies,"hesaidwithapenetratingstare."Butnowomanwithyourkindof

looksisavirginattwenty-four,"hesaidquietly,mindfulofHarry'ssharpears."AndI'ma
backcountryman,butI'vebeenmarriedandI'mnotstupidaboutwomen.Youwon'tplaymefora
fool."

Shewonderedwhathe'dsayifheknewthewholetruthabouther.Butitdidn'tmakehersmileto

reflectonthat.Sheloweredhereyestothethickwhitemug."Thinkwhatyoulike,Mr.Sutton.You
willanyway."

"Damnedstraight."

Hewalkedoutwithoutlookingback,andAmandafeltaviciouschillevenbeforeheopenedthe

doorandwentoutintothecoldwhiteyard.

ShewaitedforHarrytofinishhischoresandthenwentwithhimtothebarn,wherethelittlecalves

werecurledupintheirstallsofhay.

"They'reonlydaysold,"Harrysaid,smilingashebroughttheenormousbottlestheywerefed

from.Infact,thenippleswerestretchedacrossthetopofbucketsandfilledwithwarmmashandmilk.

"Butthey'llgrow.Sitdown,now.Youmaygetabitdirty..."

"Clotheswash,"Amandasaideasily,smiling.Butthisoutfitwasallshehad.Shewasgoingtohave

togettheelusiveMr.Suttontotakeherbacktothecabintogetmoreclothes,orshe'dbewashingout
herthingsinthesinktonight.

Shekneltdowninacleanpatchofhayandcoaxedthecalftotakethenippleintoitsmouth.Onceit

gotatasteofthewarmliquid,itwasn'tdifficulttogetittodrink.Amandalovedthefeelofitssilky
red-and-whitecoatunderherfingersasshestrokedit.TheanimalwasaHereford,anditsbigeyes
werepinkrimmedandsoulful.Thecalfwatchedherwhileitnursed.

"Poorlittlething,"shemurmuredsoftly,rubbingbetweenitseyes."Poorlittleorphan."

"They'retoughcritters,forallthat,"Harrysaidashefedtheothercalf."Liketheboss."

"Howdidheloseeverything,ifyoudon'tmindmeasking?"

Heglancedatherandreadthesincerityinherexpression."Idon'tguesshe'dmindifItoldyou.He
wasaccusedofsellingcontaminatedbeef."

"Contaminated...how?"

"It'salongstory.TheherdcametousfromdownintheSouthwest.Theyhadmeasles.Not,"he

addedwhenhesawherpuzzledexpression,"thekindhumansget.Cattledon'tbreakoutinspots,but
theydodevelopcystsinthemuscletissueandifit'sbadenough,itmeansthatthecarcasseshavetobe
destroyed."Heshrugged."Youcan'tspotit,becausetherearenodefinitesymptoms,andyoucan't
treatitbecausethereisn'tadrugthatcuresit.Thesecattlehaditandcontaminatedtherestofourherd.
Itwasliketheendoftheworld.Quinnhadsoldthebeefcattletothepacking-plantoperator.Whenthe
meatwasordereddestroyed,hecamebackonQuinntorecoverhismoney,butQuinnhadalready
spentittobuynewcattle.Wewenttocourt...Anyway,tomakealongstoryshort,theyclearedQuinn
ofanycriminalchargesandgavehimtheopportunitytomakerestitution.Inturn,hesuedthepeople
whosoldhimthecontam-inatedherdinthefirstplace."Hesmiledruefully."Wejustaboutbroke
even,butitmeantstartingoverfromscratch.Thatwaslastyear.Thingsarestillrough,butQuinn'sa
toughcustomerandhe'sgotagoodbusinesshead.He'llgetthroughit.I'dbetonhim."

Amandaponderedthat,thinkingthatQuinn'srecentlifehadbeenasdifficultasherown.Atleasthe
hadElliot.Thatmusthavebeenacomforttohim.ShesaidasmuchtoHarry.

Hegaveherastrangelook."Well,yes,Elliot'sspecialtohim,"hesaid,asiftherewerethingsshe

didn'tknow.Probablytherewere.

"Willtheselittleguysmakeit?"sheaskedwhenthecalfhadfinishedhisbottle.

"Ithinkso,"Harrysaid."Here,givemethatbottleandI'lltakecareofitforyou."

Shesighed,pettingthecalfgently.Shelikedfarmsandranches.Theyweresoreal,comparedtothe
artificiallifeshe'dknownsinceshewasoldenoughtoleavehome.Shelovedherworkandshe'd

alwaysenjoyedperforming,butitseemedsometimesasifshelivedinanotherworld.Valueswere
nebulous,iftheyevenexisted,intheworldwheresheworked.Old-fashionedideaslikemorality,
honor,chastitywerelaughedatorignored.Amandakeptherstoherself,justasshekeptherprivacy
intact.Shedidn'tdiscussherinnerfeelingswithanyone.Probablyherfriendsandassociateswould
havediedlaughingifthey'dknownjusthowmanyhang-upsshehad,andhowdistantheroutlookon
lifewasfromtheirs.

"Here'sanotherone,"Quinnsaidfromthefrontofthebarn.

Amandaturnedherhead,surprisedtoseehimbecausehe'driddenoutminutesago.Hewascarrying
anothersmallcalf,butthisonelookedworsethantheyoungeronesdid.

"He'sverythin,"shecommented.

"He'sgotscours."Helaidthecalfdownnexttoher."Harry,fixanotherbottle."

"Comingup,boss."

Amandatouchedthewirylittleheadwithitsroughhide."He'snotingoodshape,"shemurmured

quietly.

Quinnsawtheconcernonherfaceandwassurprisedbyit.Heshouldn'thavebeen,hereasoned.Why
wouldshehavecomewithElliotinthemiddleofthenighttonurseamanshedidn'tevenlike,ifshe
wasn'takindwoman?

"Heprobablywon'tmakeit,"heagreed,hisdarkeyessearchinghers."He'dbeenoutthereby

himselfforalongtime.It'sabigproperty,andhe'saverysmallcalf,"hedefendedwhenshegave
himameaningfullook."Itwouldn'tbethefirsttimewemissedone,I'msorrytosay."

"Iknow."ShelookedupasHarryproducedathirdbottle,andherhandreachedforitjustas

Quinn'sdid.Shereleasedit,feelingoddlittletinglesatthebriefcontactwithhislean,surehand.

"Heregoes,"hemurmuredcurtly.Hereachedunderthecalf'schinandpulleditsmouthuptoslide

thenipplein.Thecalfcouldbarelynurse,butafteraminuteitseemedtorallyandthenitfedhungrily.

"Thankgoodness,"Amandamurmured.ShesmiledatQuinn,andhiseyesflashedastheymethers,

searching,dark,fullofsecrets.Theynarrowedandthenabruptlyfelltohersoftmouth,wherethey
lingeredwithakindofquestioningirritation,asifhewantedverymuchtokissherandhatedhimself
forit.Herheartleapedattheknowledge.Sheseemedtohaveanew,built-ininsightaboutthis
standoffishman,andshedidn'tunderstandeitheritorherattitudetowardhim.Hewasdomineering
andhardheadedandunpredictableandsheshouldhavedislikedhim.Butshesensedasensitivityin
himthattouchedherheart.Shewantedtogettoknowhim.

"Icandothis,"hesaidcurtly."Whydon'tyougoinside?"

Shewasgettingtohim,shethoughtwithfascination.Hewasinterestedinher,buthedidn'twantto

be.Shewatchedthewayheavoidedlookingdirectlyatheragain,theangryglanceofhiseyes.

Well,itcertainlywouldn'tdoanygoodtomakehimfuriousather,especiallywhenshewasgoing

tobehisunwantedhouseguestforseveralmoredays,fromthelookoftheweather.

"Okay,"shesaid,givingin.Shegottoherfeetslowly."I'llseeifIcanfindsomethingtodo."

"Harrymightlikesomecompanywhileheworksinthekitchen.Wouldn'tyou,Harry?"headded,
givingtheoldermanalookthatsaidhe'ddamnedsurebetterlikesomecompany.

"OfcourseIwould,boss,"Harryagreedinstantly.

Amandapushedherhandsintoherpocketswithalastglanceatthecalves.Shesmileddownat

them."CanIhelpfeedthemwhileI'mhere?"sheaskedgently.

"Ifyouwantto,"Quinnsaidreadily,butwithoutlookingup.

"Thanks."Shehesitated,buthemadeherfeelshyandtongue-tied.Sheturnedawaynervouslyand

walkedbacktothehouse.

SinceHarryhadthekitchenwellinhand,shevolunteeredtoironsomeofQuinn'scottonshirts.Harry
hadtheironingboardsetup,butnottheiron,soshewentintotheclosetandproducedone.Itlooked
old,butmaybeitwoulddo,exceptthatitseemedtohavealotofsomethingcakedonit.

She'djuststartedtoplugitinwhenHarrycameintotheroomandgasped.

"Notthatone!"heexclaimed,gentlytakingitawayfromher."That'sQuinn's!"

Sheopenedhermouthtomakearemark,whenHarrystartedchuckling.

"It'sforhisskis,"heexplainedpatiently.

Shenodded."Right.Heironshisskis.Icanseethat."

"Hedoes.Don'tyouknowanythingaboutskiing?"

"Well,yougetbehindaspeedboatwiththemon..."

"Notwaterskiing.Snowskiing,"heemphasized.

Sheshrugged."IcomefromsouthernMississippi."Shegrinnedathim."Wedon'tdomuchbusiness

insnow,yousee."

"Sorry.Well,QuinnwasanOlympiccontenderingiantslalomwhenhewasinhislateteensand

earlytwenties.Hewouldhavemadetheteam,buthegotmarriedandElliotwasontheway,sohe
gaveitup.Hestillgetsinplentyofpractice,"headded,shuddering."OnoldIronsidepeak,too.
Nobody,butnobody,skisitexceptQuinnandacoupleofotherexpertsfromLarry'sLodgeoverin
JacksonHole."

"Ihaven'tseenthatoneonamap..."shebegan,becauseshe'ddoneplentyofmapreadingbefore

shecamehere.

"Oh,thatisn'titsofficialname,it'swhatQuinncallsit."Hegrinned."Anyway,Quinnusesthisiron

toputwaxonthebottomofhisskis.Don'tfeelbad,Ididn'tknowanybetter,either,atfirst,andI
waxedacoupleofshirts.Here'stherightiron."

Hehandedittoher,andshepluggeditinandgotstarted.TheelusiveMr.Suttonhadhidden

qualities,itseemed.She'dwatchedthewinterOlympicseveryfouryearsontelevision,anddownhill
skiingfascinatedher.ButitseemedtoAmandathatgiantslalomcalledforakindofrecklessskilland
speedthatwouldrequireruthlessnessandsingle-mindeddetermination.Consideringthat,itwasn'tat
allsurprisingtoherthatQuinnSuttonhadbeengoodatit.

ChapterThree

AmandahelpedHarrydodishesandstartaloadofclothesinthewasher.Butwhenshetookthemout
ofthedryer,shediscoveredthatseveralofQuinn'sshirtsweremissingbuttonsandhadlooseseams.

Harryproducedaneedleandsomethread,andAmandasettoworkmendingthem.Itgaveher
somethingtodowhileshewatchedayears-oldpolicedramaontelevision.

QuinncameinwithElliotafewhourslater.

"Boy,thesnow'sbad,"ElliotremarkedasherubbedhishandsinfrontofthefireHarryhadlitin

thebigstonefireplace."Dadhadtobringthesledouttogetme,becausethebuscouldn'tgetoffthe
mainhighway."

"Speakingofthesled,"Amandasaid,glancingatQuinn,"I'vegottohaveafewthingsfromthe

cabin.I'mreallysorry,butI'mlimitedtowhatI'mwearing...."

"I'llrunyoudownrightnow,beforeIgooutagain."

Sheputthemendingaside."I'llgetmycoat."

"Elliot,youcancome,too.Putyourcoatbackon,"Quinnsaidunexpectedly,ignoringhisson's

surprisedglance.

Amandadidn'tlookathim,butsheunderstoodwhyhewantedElliotalong.ShemadeQuinn

nervous.Hewasattractedtoherandhewasgoingtofightittothebitterend.Shewonderedwhyhe
consideredhersuchathreat.

Hepausedtopickuptheshirtshe'dbeenworkingon,andhisexpressiongotevenharderashe

glaredather."Youdon'tneedtodothatkindofthing,"hesaidcurtly.

"I'vegottoearnmykeepsomehow."Shesighed."Icanfeedthecalvesandhelpwiththe

housework,atleast.I'mnotusedtosittingarounddoingnothing,"sheadded."Itmakesmenervous."

Hehesitated.Anoddlookrippledoverhisfaceashestudiedtheneatstitchesinhisshirtsleevewhere
theriphadbeen.Hehelditforaminutebeforehelaiditgentlybackonthesofa.Hedidn'tlookat
Amandaasheledthewayoutthedoor.

Itdidn'ttakeherlongtogetherthingstogether.Elliotwanderedaroundthecabin."Thereare

knivesalloverthecounter,"heremarked."Wantmetoputtheminthesink?"

"Goahead.Iwasusingthemfordrumsticks,"shecalledassheclosedhersuitcase.

"Theydon'tlooklikethey'dtasteverygood."Elliotchuckled.

Shecameoutofthebedroomandgavehimanamusedglance."Notthatkindofdrumsticks,you
turkey.Here."Sheputdownthesuitcaseandtookthebluntstainless-steelknivesfromhim.She
glancedaroundtomakesureQuinnhadn'tcomeintothehouseandthenshebrokeintoanimpromptu
drumroutinethatmadeElliotgrinevenmore.

"Say,you'reprettygood,"hesaid.

Shebowed."Justoneofmyminortalents,"shesaid."ButI'mbetterwithakeyboard.Readytogo?"

"Wheneveryouare."

Shestartedtopickuphersuitcase,butElliotreacheddownandgotitbeforeshecould,abiggrinon
hisfreckledface.Shewonderedagainwhyhelookedsolittlelikehisfather.Sheknewthathismother
hadbeenaredhead,too,butitwasoddthathedidn'tresembleQuinninanywayatall.

Quinnwaswaitingonthesled,hisexpressionunreadable,impatientlysmokinghiscigarette.Helet

themgetonandturnedthedrafthorsebacktowardhisownhouse.Itwassnowinglightlyandthewind
wasblowing,notfiercelybutwithanipinit.Amandasighed,liftingherfacetothesnow,notcaring
thatherhoodhadfallenbacktorevealthecoiledsoftnessofherblondhair.Shefeltaliveouthereas
sheneverhadinthecity,orevenbackEast.Therewassomethingaboutthewildernessthatmadeher
feelatpeacewithherselfforthefirsttimesincethetragedythathadsentherretreatinghere.

"Enjoyingyourself?"Quinnaskedunexpectedly.

"MorethanIcantellyou,"shereplied."It'slikenootherplaceonearth."

Henodded.Hisdarkeyesslidoverherface,hercheeksflushedwithcoldandexcitement,andthey
lingeredthereforonelongmomentbeforeheforcedhisgazebacktothetrail.Amandasawthatlook
anditbroughtasenseofforeboding.Heseemedalmostangry.

Infact,hewas.Beforethedaywasout,itwasprettyapparentthathe'dwithdrawnsomewhereinside
himselfandhadnointentionofcomingoutagain.HebarelysaidtwowordstoAmandabefore
bedtime.

"He'sgonebroody,"ElliotmusedbeforeheandAmandacalleditanight."Hedoesn'tdoitoften,

andnotforalongtime,butwhenhe'sgotsomethingonhismind,it'sbestnottogetonhisnerves."

"Oh,I'lldomybest,"Amandapromised,andcrossedherheart.

Butthatapparentlydidn'tdomuchgood,inhercase,becauseheglaredatheroverbreakfastthenext
morningandoverlunch,andbythetimeshefinishedmendingawindowcurtaininthekitchenand
helpedHarrybakeacakefordessert,shewasfeelinglikeaveryunwelcomeguest.

Shewentouttofeedthecalves,thenicestofherdailychores,justbeforeQuinnwasduehomefor
supper.Elliothadlessonsandhewasholedupinhisroomtryingtogetthemdoneintimefora
science-fictionmoviehewantedtowatchaftersupper.Quinninsistedthathomeworkcamefirst.

ShefedtwoofthethreecalvesandHarryvolunteeredtofeedthethird,thelittleonethatQuinnhad
broughthomewithscours,whileshecutthecakeandlaidthetable.Shewasjustfinishingtheplace
settingswhensheheardthesleddrawupoutsidethedoor.

HerheartquickenedatthesoundofQuinn'sfirm,measuredstrideontheporch.Thedooropenedand
hecamein,alongwithafewsnowflakes.

Hestoppedshortatthesightofherinanoldwhiteapronwithwispsofblondhairhangingaround

herflushedface,abowlofwhippedpotatoesinherhands.

"Don'tyoulookdomestic?"heaskedwithsudden,bittersarcasm.

Theattackwasunexpected,althoughitshouldn'thavebeen.He'dbeenirritableever.sincetheday

before,whenhe'dnoticedhermendinghisshirt.

"I'mjusthelpingHarry,"shesaid."He'sfeedingthecalveswhileIdothis."

"SoInoticed."

Sheputdownthepotatoes,watchinghimhanguphishatandcoatwitheyesthatapprovedhistall,fit
physique,thewaythered-checkedflannelshirtclungtohismusculartorsoandlongback.Hewas
suchalonelyman,shethought,watchinghim.Soalone,evenwithElliotandHarryhere.Heturned
unexpectedly,catchingherstaringandhisdarkeyesglittered.

Hewenttothesinktowashhishands,almostvibratingwithpent-upanger.Shesensedit,butitonly

piquedhercuriosity.Hewasreactingtoher.Shefeltit,knewit,asshepickedupadishtowelandwent
closetohimtowrapitgentlyoverhiswethands.Herbigblackeyessearchedhis,andshelether
fingerslingeronhiswhiletimeseemedtoendinthewarmkitchen.

Hisdarkeyesnarrowed,andheseemedtohavestoppedbreathing.Hewasawareofsomany
sensations.Hunger.Anger.Loneliness.Lust.Hisheadspunwiththem,andthescentofherwaspure,
softwoman,driftingupintohisnostrils,cocooninghiminthesmellofcologneandshampoo.His
gazefellhelplesslytohersoftbowofamouthandhewonderedhowitwouldfeeltobendthosefew
inchesandtakeitroughlyunderhisown.Ithadbeensolongsincehe'dkissedawoman,helda
woman.Amandawasparticularlyfeminine,andsheappealedtoeverythingthatwasmasculineinhim.
Healmostvibratedwiththeneedtoreachouttoher.

Butthatwaylaydisaster,hetoldhimselffirmly.Shewasjustanothertreacherouswoman,probably
boredwithconfinement,justkeepingherhandinwithattractingmen.Heprobablyseemedlikea
pushover,andshewasgoingtousehercharmstomakeafoolofhim.Hetookadeep,slowbreath
andtheglitterinhiseyesbecameevenmorepronouncedashejerkedthetoweloutofherhandsand
movedaway.

"Sorry,"shemumbled.Shefelthercheeksgohot,becausetherehadbeenacoldkindofviolencein

theactionthatwarnedherhisemotionsweren'tquiteundercontrol.Shemovedawayfromhim.
Violencewastheonethingshedidexpectfrommen.She'dlivedwithitformostofherlifeuntilshe'd
runawayfromhome.

Shewentbacktothestove,stirringthesauceshe'dmadetogowiththeboileddumpling.

"Don'tgettoocomfortableinthekitchen,"hewarnedher."ThisisHarry'sprivatedomainandhe

doesn'tliketrespassers.You'rejustpassingthrough."

"Ihaven'tforgottenthat,Mr.Sutton,"shereplied,andhereyeskindledwithdarkfireasshelooked

athim.Therewasnoreasontomakeherfeelsounwelcome."Justassoonasthethawcomes,I'llbe
outofyourwayforgood."

"Icanhardlywait,"hesaid,bitingoffthewords.

Amandasighedwearily.Itwasn'therideaoftheperfectrestspot.She'dcomeawayfromthe

concertstageneedinghealing,andallshe'dfoundwasanotherbattletofight.

''Youmakemefeelsoathome,Mr.Sutton,"shesaidwistfully."Likepartofthefamily.Thanksso

muchforyourgracioushospitality,anddoyouhappentohaveajarofratpoison...?"

Quinnhadtobitehardtokeepfromlaughing.Heturnedandwentoutofthekitchenasifhewere
beingchased.

Aftersupper,Amandavolunteeredtowashdishes,butHarryshooedheroff.Quinnapparentlydid
bookworkeverynight,becausehewentintohisstudyandclosedthedoor,leavingElliotwith
Amandaforcompany.They'dwatchedthescience-fictionmovieElliothadbeensoeagertoseeand
nowtheywereworkingonthekeyboard.

"IthinkI'vegotthehangofCmajor,"Elliotannounced,andranthescale,completewithturned

underthumbonthekeyofF.

"Verygood,"sheenthused."Okay,let'sgoontoGmajor."

Shetaughthimthescaleandwatchedhimplayit,hermindonQuinnSutton'santagonism.

"Somethingbotheringyou?"Elliotaskedsuspiciously.

Sheshrugged."Yourdaddoesn'twantmehere."

"Hehateswomen,"hesaid."Youknewthat,didn'tyou?"

"Yes.Butwhy?"

Heshookhishead."It'sbecauseofmymother.Shedidsomethingreallyterribletohim,andhe

nevertalksabouther.Heneverhas.I'vegotonepictureofher,inmyroom."

"Iguessyoulooklikeher,"shesaidspeculatively.

Hehandedherthekeyboard."I'vegotredhairandfreckleslikeshehad,"heconfessed."I'mjust

sorrythatI...well,thatIdon'tlookanythinglikeDad.I'mgladhecaresaboutme,though,inspiteof
everything.Isn'titgreatthathelikesme?"

Whatanoddwaytotalkabouthisfather,Amandathoughtasshestudiedhim.Shewantedtosay
somethingelse,toaskaboutthatwording,butitwastoosoon.Shehidhercuriosityinhumor.

"'Therearemorethingsinheavenandearth,Horatio,thanaredreamtofinyourphilosophy,'"she

intoneddeeply.

Hechuckled."Hamlet,"hesaid."Shakespeare.WedidthatinEnglishclasslastmonth."

"Cultureinthehighcountry."Sheapplauded."Verygood,Elliot."

"Ilikerockculturebest,"hesaidinastagewhisper."Playsomething."

SheglancedtowardQuinn'sclosedstudydoorwithagrimace."Somethingsoft."

"No!"heprotested,andgrinned."Comeon,givehimhell."

"Elliot!"shechided.

"Heneedsshakingup,Itellyou,he'sgoingtodieanoldmaid.Hegetsallfunnyandredwhen

unmarriedladiestalktohimatchurch,andjustlookathowgrumpyhe'sbeensinceyou'vebeen
around.We'vegottosavehim,Amanda,"hesaidsolemnly.

Shesighed."Okay.It'syourfuneral."Sheflickedswitches,turningontheautorhythm,theauto

chords,andmovedthevolumetomaximum.WithamischievousglanceatElliot,sheswungintoone
ofthenewestrocksongs,byarivalgroup,instantlyrecognizablebythereggaerhythmandsweet
harmony.

"GoodGod!"cameamuffledroarfromthestudy.Amandacutoffthekeyboardandhandeditto

Elliot.

"No!"Elliotgasped.

Butitwastoolate.HisfathercameoutofthestudyandsawElliotholdingthekeyboardandstarted

smoldering.

"Itwasher!"Elliotaccused,pointinghisfingerather.

ShepeeredatQuinnoverherdrawn-upknees."WouldIplayakeyboardthatloudinyourhouse,

afteryouwarnedmenotto?"sheaskedinherbestmeekvoice.

Quinn'seyesnarrowed.TheywentbacktoElliot.

"She'slying,"Elliotsaid."JustliketheguyinthosetruckcommercialsonTV...!"

"Keepitdown,"Quinnsaidwithoutcrackingasmile."OrI'llgivethatthingthedecentburialit

reallyneeds.Andnomoredamnedrockmusicinmyhouse!Thatthinghasearphones.Usethem!"

"Yes,sir,"Elliotgroaned.

Amandasalutedhim."Wehearandobey,excellency!"shesaidwithadeplorableSpanishaccent.

"Yourwishisourcommand.Weliveonlytoserve...!"

Theslammingofthestudydoorcutheroff.SheburstintolaughterwhileElliothitherwithasofa

cushion.

"Youanimal,"heaccusedmirthfully."LyingtoDad,accusingmeofdoingsomethingIneverdid!
Howcouldyou?"

"Temporaryinsanity,"shegaspedforbreath."1couldn'thelpmyself."

"We'rebothgoingtodie,"heassuredher."He'lllieawakeallnightthinkingofwaystogeteven

andwhenweleastexpectit,pow!"

"He'swelcome.Here.RunthatGmajorscaleagain."

Heletherturnthekeyboardbackon,buthewascarefultomovethevolumeswitchdownasfarasit
wouldgo.

ItwasalmostninewhenQuinncameoutofthestudyandturnedoutthelight."Timeforbed,"hesaid.

Amandahadwantedtowatchamoviethatwascomingon,butsheknewbetterthantoask.

Presumablytheydidoccasionallywatchtelevisionatnight.She'dhavetoaskoneofthesedays.

"Goodnight,Dad.Amanda,"Elliotsaid,grinningashewentupstairswithabound.

"Didyoudoyourhomework?"Quinncalledupafterhim.

"Almost."

"Whatthehelldoesthatmean?"hedemanded."ItmeansI'lldoitfirstthinginthemorning!"Night,

Dad!"Adoorclosed.

QuinnglaredatAmanda."Thatwon'tdo,"hesaidtersely."Hishomeworkcomesfirst.Musicisanice
hobby,butit'snotgoingtomakealivingforhim."

Whynot,shealmostretorted,itmakesasix-figureannualincomeforme,butshekepthermouth

shut.

"I'llmakesurehe'sdonehishomeworkbeforeIoffertoshowhimanythingelseonthekeyboard.

Okay?"

Hesighedangrily."Allright.Comeon.Let'sgotobed."

Sheputherhandsoverherchestandgasped,hereyeswideandastonished."Together?Mr.Sutton,

really!"

Hisdarkeyesnarrowedinaveiledthreat."HellwillfreezeoverbeforeIwindupinbedwithyou,"

hesaidicily."Itoldyou,Idon'twantusedgoods."

"Yourloss,"shesighed,ignoringtheimpulsetolayalampacrosshisthickskull."Experienceisa

valuablecommodityinmyworld."Shedeliberatelysmoothedherhandsdownherwaistandoverher
hips,hereyesfaintlycoquettishasshewatchedhimwatchinghermovements."AndI'mvery
experienced,"shedrawled.Inmusic,shewas.

Hisjawtautened."Yes,itdoesshow,"hesaid."Kindlykeepyourattitudestoyourself.Idon'twant

mysoncorrupted."

"Ifyoureallymeantthat,you'dlethimwatchmoviesandlistentorockmusicandtrusthimtomake

uphisownmindaboutthings."

"He'sonlytwelve."

"Youaren'tpreparinghimtoliveintherealworld,"sheprotested.

"This,"hesaid,"istherealworldforhim.Notsomefancyapartmentinacitywherewomenlike

youloungearoundinbarspickingupmen."

"Nowyouwaitjustaminute,"shesaid."Idon'tloungearoundinbarstopickupmen."Sheshifted

herstance."Ihangoutinzoosandflashelderlymeninmytrenchcoat."

Hethrewuphishands."Igiveup."

"Good!Yourroomormine?"

Hewhirled,hisdarkeyesflashing.Hersmilewaspurelyprovocativeandshewasdeliberatelybaiting
him,hecouldsenseit.Hisjawtautenedandhewantedtopickherupandshakeherfortheeffecther
teasingwashavingonhim.

"Okay,Iquit,"Amandasaid,becauseshecouldseethathe'dreachedthelimitsofhiscontroland

shewasn'tquitebraveenoughtotesttheothersideofit."Goodnight.Sweetdreams."

Hedidn'tanswerher.Hefollowedherupthestairsandwatchedhergointoherroomandclosethe
door.Afteraminute,hewentintohisownroomandlockedthedoor.Helaughedmirthlesslyathis
ownrashaction,buthehopedshecouldheartheboltbeingthrown.

Shecould.Itshockedher,untilsherealizedthathe'ddoneitdeliberately,probablytryingtohurther.
Shelaidbackonherbedwithalongsigh.Shedidn'tknowwhattodoaboutMr.Sutton.Hewas
beginningtogettoherinaveryrealway.Shehadtokeepherperspective.Thiswasonlytemporary.

Itwouldhelptokeepitinmind.

Quinnwasthinkingthesamething.Butwhenheturnedoutthelightandclosedhiseyes,hekept

feelingAmanda'sloosenedhairbrushingdownhischest,overhisflatstomach,hisloins.He
shudderedandwokeupsweatinginthemiddleofthenight.Itwastheworstandlongestnightofhis
life.

Thenextmorning,QuinnglaredatAmandaacrossthebreakfasttableafterElliothadleftforschool.

"Leavemyshirtsalone,"hesaidcurtly."Ifyoufindanymoretears,Harrycanmendthem."

Hereyebrowslifted."Idon'thavegerms,"shepointedout."Icouldn'tcontaminatethemjustby

stitchingthemup."

"Leavethemalone,"hesaidharshly.

"Okay.Suityourself."Shesighed."I'lljustbusymyselfmakinglacypillowsforyourbed."

Hesaidsomethingexpressiveandobscene;herlipsfellopenandshegapedathim.She'dnever

heardhimuselanguagelikethat.

Itseemedtobotherhimthathehad.Heputdownhisfork,lefthiseggsandwentoutthedoorasif
leopardswerestalkinghim.

Amandastirredhereggsaroundontheplate,feelingvaguelyguiltythatshe'dgivenhimsucha

hardtimethathe'dgonewithouthalfhisbreakfast.Shedidn'tknowwhysheneedledhim.Itseemedto
beanewhabit,maybetokeephimatbay,tokeephimfromnoticinghowattractedshewastohim.

"I'mgoingouttofeedthecalves,Harry,"shesaidafteraminute.

"Dresswarm.It'ssnowingagain,"hecalledfromupstairs.

"Okay."

SheputonhercoatandhatandwanderedouttothebarnthroughthepathQuinnhadmadeinthe

deepsnow.She'dneveragaingrumbleatlittletwo-andthree-footdriftsinthecity,shepromised
herself.Nowthatsheknewwhatrealsnowwas,shefeltguiltyforallherpastcomplaints.

Thebarnwaswarmerthanthegreatoutdoors.Shepushedsnowflakesoutofhereyesandfaceand

wenttofixthebottlesasHarryhadshownher,butQuinnwasalreadythereandhaditdone.

"Noneedtofollowmearoundtryingtogetmyattention,"Amandamurmuredwithawickedsmile.

"I'vealreadynoticedhowsexyandhandsomeyouare."

Hedrewinafuriousbreath,butjustashewasabouttospeakshemovedcloserandputherfingers
againsthiscoldmouth.

"You'llbreakmyheartifyouuseungentlemanlylanguage,Mr.Sutton,"shetoldhimfirmly."I'll

justfeedthecalvesandadmireyoufromafar,ifyoudon'tmind.Itseemssaferthantryingtothrow
myselfatyou."

Helookedtornbetweenshakingherandkissingher.Shestoodverystillwherehetoweredaboveher,
evenbiggerthanusualinthatthickshepherd'scoatandhistall,grayStetson.Helookeddownather
quietly,hisnarrowedeyeslingeringonherflushedcheeksandhersoft,partedmouth.

Herhandswererestingagainstthecoat,andhiswereonherarms,pulling.Shecouldhardlybreathe
assherealizedthathe'dactuallytouchedhervoluntarily.Hejerkedherfaceupunderhis,andshe
couldseeangerandsomethinglikebitternessinthedarkeyesthatheldhersuntilsheblushed.

"Justwhatareyouafter,citygirl?"heaskedcoldly.

"Asmile,akindwordand,dareIsayit,aroundofheartylaughter?"sheessayedwithwideeyes,

tryingnottolethimseehowpowerfullyheaffectedher.

Hisdarkeyesfelltohermouth."Isthatright?Andnothingmore?"

Herbreathcamejerkilythroughherlips."I...havetofeedthecalves."

Hiseyesnarrowed."Yes,youdo."Hisfingersonherarmscontracted,sothatshecouldfeelthem

eventhroughthesleevesofhercoat."Becarefulwhatyouofferme,"hesaidinavoiceaslightand
coldasthesnowoutsidethebarn."I'vebeenwithoutawomanforonehellofalongtime,andI'm
aloneuphere.Ifyou'renotwhatyou'remakingyourselfouttobe,youcouldbelettingyourselfin
forsometrouble."

Shestaredupathimonlyhalfcomprehendingwhathewassaying.Ashismeaningbegantofilter

intoherconsciousness,hercheeksheatedandherbreathcaughtinherthroat.

"You...makeitsoundlikeathreat,"shebreathed.

"Itisathreat,Amanda,"hereplied,usinghernameforthefirsttime."Youcouldstartsomething

youmightnotwanttofinishwithme,evenwithElliotandHarryaround."

Shebitherlowerlipnervously.Shehadn'tconsideredthat.Helookedmorematureandformidable

thanheeverhadbefore,andshecouldfeelthebanked-downfiresinhimkindlingevenasheheldher.

"Okay,"shesaidafteraminute.

Helethergoandmovedawayfromhertogetthebottles.Hehandedthemtoherwithalong,
speculativelook.

"It'sallright,"shemuttered,embarrassed."Iwon'tattackyouwhileyourbackisturned.Ialmost

neverrapemen."

Heliftedaneyebrow,buthedidn'tsmile."Youcrazedfemalesexmaniac,"hemurmured.

"GoodyTwoShoes,"sheshotback.

Acornerofhismouthactuallyturnedup."You'vegotthatoneright,"heagreed."Stayclosetothe
housewhileit'ssnowinglikethis.Wewouldn'twanttoloseyou."

"I'lljustbetwewouldn't,"shemutteredandstuckhertongueoutathisretreatingback.

Shekneltdowntofeedthecalves,stillshakenbyherconfrontationwithQuinn.Hewasanenigma.

Shewasalmostcertainthathe'dbeenjokingwithherattheendoftheexchange,butitwashardtotell
fromhispokerface.Hedidn'tlooklikeamanwho'dlaughedoftenorenough.

Thelittlestcalfwasn'trespondingaswellashehadearlier.Shecuddledhimandcoaxedhimto

drink,buthediditwithoutanyspirit.Shelaidhimbackdownwithasigh.Hedidn'tlookgoodatall.
Sheworriedabouthimfortherestoftheevening,andshedidn'targuewhenthetelevisionwascutoff
atnineo'clock.Shewentstraighttobed,withQuinnandElliotgivingheroddlooks.

ChapterFour

Amanda

wassubduedatthebreakfasttable,moresowhenQuinnstartedwatchingherwithdark,

accusingeyes.Sheknewshe'ddeliberatelyneedledhimforthe

past

twodays,andnowshewassorry.

He'dhintedthatherbehaviorwasabouttostartsomething,andshewasanxiousnottomakethings
anyworsethantheyalreadywere.

Theproblemwasthatshewasattractedtohim.Themoreshesawofhim,themoreshelikedhim.

Hewasdifferentfromthesuperficial,materialisticmeninherownworld.Hewashardheadedand
stubborn.Hehadvalues,andhespokeoutforthem.Helivedbyarigidcodeofethics,andhonorwas
awordthathadgreatmeaningforhim.Underallthat,hewassensitiveandcaring.Amandacouldn't
helpthewayshewasbeginningtofeelabouthim.Sheonlywishedthatshehadn'tstartedoffonthe
wrongfootwithhim.

Shesetouttowinhimover,actingmorelikeherrealself.Shewaspoliteandcourteousandcaring,
butwithouttheroughedgesshe'dhadinthebeginning.Shestilldidthemending,despitehis
grumbling,andshemadecushionsforthesofaoutofsomeclothHarryhadputaway.Butallher
domesticactionsonlymadethingsworse.Quinnglaredatheropenlynow,andhislackofpoliteness
raisedevenHarry'seyebrows.

Amandahadasneakinghunchthatitwasattractiontoherthatwasmakinghimsoillhumored.He
didn'tactatalllikeanexperiencedman,despitehismarriage,andthewayhelookedatherwas
intense.Ifshecouldbringhimoutintotheopen,shethought,itmighteasethetensionalittle.

Shedidherchores,includingfeedingthecalves,worryingevenmoreaboutthelittlestonebecause

hewasn'trespondingaswelltodayashehadthedaybefore.WhenElliotcamehome,sherefusedto
helphimwiththekeyboarduntilhedidhishomework.Witharuefulsmileandaknowingglanceat
hisdad,hewentuptohisroomtogetitoverwith.

Meanwhile,HarrywentouttogetmorefirewoodandAmandawasleftinthelivingroomwithQuinn
watchinganearlynewscast.

Thenewswas,asusual,allbad.Quinnputouthiscigarettehalfangrily,hisdarkeyeslingeringon

Amanda'ssoftface.

"Don'tyoumissthecity?"heasked.

Shesmiled."Sure.Imisstheexcitementandmyfriends.Butit'snicehere,too."Shemovedtowardthe
bigarmchairhewassittingin,nervouslycontemplatinghernextmove."Youdon'tmindallthat
much,doyou?Havingmearound,Imean?"

Heglaredupather.Hewaswearingablue-checkedflannelshirt,buttoneduptothethroat,andthe

hardmusclesofhischeststrainedagainstit.Helookedtwiceasbigasusual,hisdarkhairunrulyon
hisbroadforeheadashestaredupintohereyes.

"I'mgettingusedtoyou,Iguess,"hesaidstiffly."Justdon'tgettoocomfortable."

"Youreallydon'twantmehere,doyou?"sheaskedquietly.

Hesighedangrily."Idon'tlikewomen,"hemuttered.

"Iknow."Shesatdownonthearmofhischair,facinghim."Whynot?"sheaskedgently.

Hisbodywenttautattheproximity.Shewastooclose.Toofemale.Thescentofhergotintohis
nostrilsandmadehimshiftrestlesslyinthechair."It'snoneofyourdamnedbusinesswhynot,"he
saidevasively."Willyougetupfromthere?"

Shewarmedatthetoneofhisvoice.Soshediddisturbhim!Amandasmiledgentlyassheleaned
forward."Areyousureyouwantmeto?"sheaskedandsuddenlythrewcautiontothewindandslid
downintohislap,puttinghersoftmouthhungrilyonhis.

Hestiffened.Hejerked.Hisbighandsbitintoherarmssohardtheybruised.Butforjustonelong,
sweetmoment,hishardmouthgaveintohersandhegaveherbackthekiss,hislipsroughandwarm,
thepressurebruising,andhegroanedasifallhisdreamshadcometrueatonce.

Hetastedofsmokeforthebriefsecondthatheallowedthekiss.Thenhewasallbristlingindignation
andcoldfury.Heslammedtohisfeet,takingherwithhim,andliterallythrewheraway,sohardthat
shefellagainstandontothesofa.

"Damnyou,"hegroundout.Hisfistsclenchedathissides.Hisbigbodyvibratedwithoutrage.

"Youcheaplittletart!"

Shelaytrembling,frightenedoftheviolenceinhisnowwhitefaceandblazingdarkeyes."I'mnot,"
shedefendedfeebly.

"Can'tyoulivewithoutitforafewdays,orareyoudesperateenoughtotrytoseduceme?"he

hissed.Hiseyesslidoverherwithicycontempt."Itwon'twork.I'vetoldyoualready,Idon'twant
somethingthatanymancanhave!Idon'twantanypartofyou,leastofallyouroverusedbody!"

Shegottoherfeetonlegsthatthreatenedtogivewayunderher,backingawayfromhisanger.She
couldn'tevenspeak.Herfatherhadbeenlikethatwhenhedranktoomuch,white-faced,icyhot,
totallyoutofcontrol.Andwhenhegotthatway,hehit.ShecringedawayfromQuinnashemoved
towardherandsuddenly,shewhirledandranoutoftheroom.

Hecheckedhisinstinctivemovetogoafterher.Soshewasscared,wasshe?Hefrowned,tryingto
understandwhy.He'donlyspokenthetruth;didshenotlikehearingwhatshewas?Thepossibilitythat
he'dbeenwrong,thatshewasn'tacheaplittletart,hewouldn'tadmiteventohimself.

Hesatbackdownandconcentratedonthetelevisionwithoutanyrealinterest.WhenElliotcame

downstairs,Quinnbarelylookedup.

"Where'sAmandagoing?"heaskedhisfather.

Quinnraisedaneyebrow."What?"

"Where'sAmandagoinginsucharush?"Elliotaskedagain."Isawheroutthewindow,tramping

throughwaist-deepsnow.Doesn'tsherememberwhatyoutoldheraboutoldMcNaber'straps?She's
headedstraightforthemifshekeepsonthewayshe'sheaded...Whereareyougoing?"

Quinnwasalreadyonhisfeetandheadedforthebackdoor.Hegotintohisshepherd'scoatandhat

withoutspeaking,hisfacepale,hiseyesblazingwithmingledfearandanger.

"Shewascrying,"Harrymuttered,sparinghimaglance."Idon'tknowwhatyousaidtoher,but—"

"Shutup,"Quinnsaidcoldly.Hestaredtheoldermandownandwentoutthebackdoorandaround

thehouse,followinginthewakeAmanda'sbodyhadmade.Shewasalreadyoutofsight,andthose
trapswouldbeburiedunderseveralfeetofsnow.Beartraps,andshewouldn'tseethemuntilshefelt
them.Thethoughtofthatmercilessmetalbitinghersoftfleshdidn'tbearthinkingabout,anditwould
behisfaultbecausehe'dhurther.

Severalmetersahead,intothewoodsnow,Amandawascursingsilentlyassheplowedthroughthe
snowdrifts,herblackeyesfierceeventhroughthetears.DamnQuinnSutton,shepanted.Shehoped
hegoteatenbymothsduringthewinter,shehopedhishorsestoodonhisfoot,shehopedthesledran
overhimandpackedhimintothesnowandnobodyfoundhimuntilspring.Itwasonlyakiss,after
all,andhe'dkissedherbackjustforafewseconds.

Shefeltthetearsburningcoldlydownhercheeksastheystartedagain.Damnhim.Hehadn'thadto

makeherfeellikesuchananimal,justbecauseshe'dkissedhim.Shecaredabouthim.She'donly
wantedtogetonafriendlierfootingwithhim.Butnowshe'ddoneit.Hehatedherforsure,she'dseen
itinhiseyes,inhisface,whenhe'dcalledherthosenames.Cheaplittletart,indeed!Well,GoodyTwo
ShoesSuttoncouldjustholdhisbreathuntilshekissedhimagain,sothere!

Shestoppedtocatchherbreathandthenplowedon.Thecabinwassomewheredownhere.She'dstay
initevenifshedidfreezetodeath.She'dshackupwithagrizzlybearbeforeshe'dspendonemore
nightunderQuinnSutton'sroof.Shefrowned.Weretheregrizzlybearsinthispartofthecountry?

"Amanda,stop!"

Shepaused,wonderingifshe'dheardsomeonecallhername,orifithadjustbeenthewind.Shewas
inabreakoflodgepolepinesnow,andacabinwasjustbelowinthevalley.Butitwasn'tMr.
Durning'scabin.CouldthatbeMcNaber's...?

"Amanda!"

Thatwasdefinitelyhername.Sheglancedoverhershoulderandsawthefamiliarshepherd'scoat

anddarkwornStetsonatopthatarroganthead.

"Eatsnow,GoodyTwoShoes!"sheyelledback."I'mgoinghome!"

Shestartedahead,pushinghardnow.Buthehadtheedge,becausehewaswalkinginthepathshe'd
made.Hewasbiggerandfaster,andhehadtwiceherstamina.Beforeshegotfivemorefeet,hehad
herbythewaist.

Shefoughthim,kickingandhitting,buthesimplywrappedbotharmsaroundherandheldonuntil
shefinallyranoutofstrength.

"Ihateyou,"shepanted,shiveringasthecoldandtheexertiongottoher."Ihateyou!"

"You'dhatememoreifIhadn'tstoppedyou,"hesaid,breathinghard."McNaberlivesdownthere.

He'sgotbeartrapsallovertheplace.Justafewmoresteps,andyou'dhavebeenuptoyourkneesin
them,youlittlefool!Youcan'tevenseetheminsnowthisdeep!".

"Whatwouldyoucare?"shegroaned."Youdon'twantmearound.Idon'twanttostaywithyou

anymore.I'lltakemychancesatthecabin!"

"No,youwon't,Amanda,"hesaid.Hisembracedidn'tevenloosen.Hewhippedheraround,hisbig

handsroughonhersleevesasheshookher."You'recomingbackwithme,ifIhavetocarryyou!"

Sheflinched,theviolenceinhimfrighteningher.Sheswallowed,herlowerliptremblingand

pulledfeeblyagainsthishands.

"Letgoofme,"shewhispered.Hervoiceshook,andshehatedherowncowardice.

Hescowled.Shewaspaperwhite.Belatedlyherealizedwhatwaswrongandhishandsreleasedher.
Shebackedawayasfarasthesnowwouldallowandstoodlikeayoungdoeatbay,hereyesdarkand
frightened.

"Didhehityou?"heaskedquietly.

Shedidn'thavetoaskwho.Sheshivered."Onlywhenhedrank,"shesaid,hervoicefaltering."But

healwaysdrank."Shelaughedbitterly."Just...don'tcomeanycloseruntilyoucooldown,ifyou
please."

Hetookaslow,steadyingbreath."I'msorry,"hesaid,shockingher."No,Imeanit.I'mreallysorry.I
wouldn'thavehityou,ifthat'swhatyou'rethinking.Onlyacowardwouldraisehishandtoawoman,"
hesaidwithcoldconviction.

Shewrappedherarmsaroundherselfandstood,justbreathing,shiveringinthecold.

"We'dbettergetbackbeforeyoufreeze,"hesaidtautly.Herverydefensivenessdisarmedhim.He

feltguiltyandprotectiveallatonce.Hewantedtotakehertohisheartandcomforther,butevenashe
steppedtowardher,shebackedaway.Hehadn'timaginedhowmuchthatwouldhurtuntilithappened.

Hestoppedandstoodwherehewas,raisinghishandsinanoddgestureofhelplessness."Iwon'ttouch
you,"hepromised."Comeon,honey.Youcangofirst."

Tearsfilmedherdarkeyes.Itwasthefirstendearmentshe'deverheardfromhimandittouched

herdeeply.Butsheknewitwasonlycasual.Herbehaviorhadshockedhimandhedidn'tknowwhatto
do.Sheletoutalongbreath.

Withoutaquiporcomeback,sheeasedpasthimwarilyandstartedbackthewaythey'dcome.He

followedher,givingthanksthathe'dbeenintime,thatshehadn'trunafoulofoldMcNaber'straps.
Butnowhe'dreallydoneit.He'dmanagedtomakeherafraidofhim.

Shewentaheadofhimintothehouse.ElliotandHarrytookonelookatherfaceandQuinn'sand
didn'taskasinglequestion.

Shesatatthesuppertablelikeastatue.Shedidn'tspeak,evenwhenElliottriedtobringherintothe
conversation.Andafterward,shecurledupinachairinthelivingroomandsatlikeamouse
watchingtelevision.

Quinncouldn'tknowthememorieshe'dbroughtback,thesearingfearofherchildhood.Herfather
hadbeenabigman,andhewasalwaysviolentwhenhedrank.Hewassorryafterward,sometimeshe
evencriedwhenhesawthebruiseshe'dputonher.Butitneverstoppedhim.She'drunawaybecause
itwasmorethanshecouldbear,andfortunatelythere'dbeenaplaceforrunawaysthattookherin.
She'dlearnedvolumesabouthumankindnessfromthosepeople.Butthememorieswerebitterand
Quinn'sbridledviolencehadbroughtthemsweepinginlikestormclouds.

Elliotdidn'taskheraboutmusiclessons.Heexcusedhimselfahalfhourearlyandwentuptobed.

Harryhadlongsincegonetohisownroom.

Quinnsatinhisbigchair,smokinghiscigarette,buthestartedwhenAmandaputherfeetonthe

floorandglancedwarilyathim.

"Don'tgoyet,"hesaidquietly."Iwanttotalktoyou."

"Wedon'thaveanythingtosaytoeachother,"shesaidquietly."I'mverysorryforwhatIdidthis

afternoon.Itwasimpulsiveandstupid,andIpromiseI'llneverdoitagain.Ifyoucanjustputupwith
meuntilitthawsalittle,you'llneverhavetoseemeagain."

Hesighedwearily."IsthatwhatyouthinkIwant?"heasked,searchingherface.

"Ofcourseitis,"sherepliedsimply."You'vehatedhavingmehereeversinceIcame."

"MaybeIhave.I'vegotmorereasontohateanddistrustwomenthanyou'lleverknow.Butthatisn't

whatIwanttotalkabout,"hesaid,avertinghisgazefromherwanface.Hedidn'tlikethinkingabout
thatkissandhowdisturbingithadbeen."IwanttoknowwhyyouthoughtImighthityou."

Shedroppedhereyestoherlap."You'rebig,likemyfather,"shesaid."Whenhelosthistemper,he
alwayshit."

"I'mnotyourfather,"Quinnpointedout,hisdarkeyesnarrowing."AndI'veneverhitanyoneina

temper,exceptmaybeanothermanfromtimetotimewhenitwascalledfor.Ineverraisedmyhandto
Elliot'smother,althoughIfeltlikeitatimeortwo,inallhonesty.Ineverliftedahandtohereven
whenshetoldmeshewaspregnantwithElliot."

"Whyshouldyouhave?"sheaskedabsently."He'syourson."

Helaughedcoldly."No,heisn't."

Shestaredathimopenly."Elliotisn'tyours?"sheaskedsoftly.

Heshookhishead."Hismotherwashavinganaffairwithamarriedmanandshegotcaughtout."

Heshrugged."Iwastwenty-twoandgrassgreenandshemountedacampaigntomarryme.IguessI
wasprettymuchasittingduck.Shewasbeautifulandstackedandshehadmeeatingoutofherhandin
notime.Wegotmarriedandrightaftertheceremony,shetoldmewhatshe'ddone.Shelaughedat
howclumsyI'dbeenduringthecourtship,howshe'dhadtosteelherselfnottobesickwhenI'dkissed
her.ShetoldmeaboutElliot'sfatherandhowmuchshelovedhim,thenshedaredmetotellpeople
thetruthabouthoweasyithadbeentomakememarryher.''Heblewoutacloudofsmoke,hiseyes
coldwithmemory."Shehadmeoverabarrel.IwastwiceasproudbackthenasIamnow.Icouldn't
beartohavethewholecommunitylaughingatme.SoIstuckitout.UntilElliotwasborn,andsheand
hisfathertookoffforpartsunknownforaweekendoflove.Unfortunatelyforthem,hewreckedthe
carinhishastetogettoamotelandkilledbothofthemoutright."

"DoesElliotknow?"sheasked,hervoicequietassheglancedtowardthestaircase.

"Sure,"hesaid."Icouldn'tlietohimaboutit.ButItookcareofhimfromthetimehewasababy,

andIraisedhim.ThatmakesmehisfatherjustassurelyasifI'dputtheseedhegrewfromintohis
mother'sbody.He'smyson,andI'mhisfather.Ilovehim."

Shestudiedhishardface,seeingbehindittothepainhemusthavesuffered."Youlovedher,didn't

you?"

"Calflove,"hesaid."ShecameuponmyblindsideandIneededsomebodytolove.I'dalwaysbeen

shyandclumsyaroundgirls.Icouldn'tevengetadatewhenIwasinschoolbecauseIwassorough
edged.Shepaidmealotofattention.Iwaslonely."Hisbigshouldersshrugged."LikeIsaid,asitting
duck.Shetaughtmesomehardlessonsaboutyoursex,"headded,hisnarrowedeyesonherface.
"I'veneverforgottenthem.Andnobody'shadasecondchanceatme."

Herbreathcameoutasasigh."That'swhatyouthoughtthisafternoon,whenIkissedyou,"she
murmured,reddeningatherownforwardness."I'msorry.1didn'trealizeyoumightthinkIwas
playingyouforasucker."

Hefrowned."Whydidyoukissme,Amanda?"

"Wouldyoubelieve,becauseIwantedto?"sheaskedwithaquietsmile."You'reaveryattractive

man,andsomethingaboutyoumakesmeweakintheknees.Butyoudon'thavetoworryaboutme
comingontoyouagain,"sheadded,gettingtoherfeet."Youteachaprettytoughlessonyourself.

Goodnight,Mr.Sutton.IappreciateyourtellingmeaboutElliot.Youneedn'tworrythatI'llsay
anythingtohimortoanybodyelse.Idon'tcarrytales,andIdon'tgossip."

Sheturnedtowardthestaircase,andQuinn'sdarkeyesfollowedher.Shehadaneleganceofcarriage
thattouchedhim,fullofprideandgrace.Hewassorrynowthathe'dslappedherdownsohardwith
cruelwords.Hereallyhadn'tmeantto.He'dbeenafraidthatshewasgoingtolethimdown,thatshe
wasplaying.Ithadn'toccurredtohimthatshefoundhimattractiveorthatshe'dkissedhimbecause
she'dreallywantedto.

He'dmadeabadmistakewithAmanda.He'dhurtherandsentherrunning,andnowhewishedhe
couldtakebackthethingshe'dsaid.Shewasn'tlikeanywomanhe'deverbeenexposedto.She
actuallyseemedunawareofherbeauty,asifshedidn'tthinkmuchofit.Maybehe'dgottenitall
wrongandshewasn'tmuchmoreexperiencedthanhewas.Hewishedhecouldaskher.Shedisturbed
himverymuch,andnowhewonderedifitwasn'tmutual.

Amandawaslyinginbed,crying.Thedayhadbeenhorrible,andshehatedQuinnforthewayhe'd

treatedher.Itwasn'tuntilsherememberedwhathe'dtoldherthatshestoppedcryingandstarted
thinking.He'dsaidthathe'dneversleptwithElliot'smother,andthathehadn'tbeenabletogetdatesin
highschool.PresumablythatmeantthathisonlyexperiencewithwomenhadbeenafterElliot's
motherdied.Shefrowned.Therehadn'tbeenmanywomen,shewaswillingtobet.Heseemedto
knowrelativelynothingabouthersex.Shefrowned.Ifhestillhatedwomen,howhadhegottenany
experience?Finallyhermindgrewtiredoftryingtoworkitoutandshewenttosleep.

AmandawasuphelpingHarryinthekitchenthenextmorningwhenQuinncamedownstairsaftera

wild,eroticdreamthatlefthimsweatingandswearingwhenhewokeup.Amandahadfiguredlargely
init,withherblondhairlooseanddowntoherlowerspine,hishandstwinedinitwhilehemadelove
toherinthestillnessofhisownbedroom.Thedreamhadbeensovividthathecouldalmostseethe
pinkperfectionofherbreaststhroughthebulky,white-knitsweatershewaswearing,andhealmost
groanedashiseyesfelltotheriseandfallofherchestunderit.

SheglancedatQuinnandactuallyflushedbeforeshedraggedhereyesbackdowntothepanof
biscuitsshewasputtingintotheoven.

"Ididn'tknowyoucouldmakebiscuits,"Quinnmurmured.

"Harrytaughtme,"shesaidevasively.Hereyeswentbacktohimagainandflittedaway.

Hefrownedatthatshylookuntilherealizedwhyhewasgettingit.Heusuallykepthisshirtsbuttoned
uptohisthroat,butthismorninghe'dleftitopenhalfwaydownhischestbecausehewasstill
sweatingfromthatdream.Hepursedhislipsandgaveheraspeculativestare.Hewonderedifitwere
possiblethathedisturbedherasmuchasshedisturbedhim.Hewasgoingtomakeithisbusinessto
findoutbeforeshelefthere.Iffornootherreasonthantosalvehisbruisedego.

HewentoutbehindElliot,pausinginthedoorway."How'sthecalf?"heaskedAmanda.

"Hewasn'tdoingverywellyesterday,"shesaidwithasigh."Maybehe'sbetterthismorning."

"I'llhavealookathimbeforeIgoout."Heglancedoutatthesnow."Don'ttrytogetbacktothe

cabinagain,willyou?Youcan'tgetthroughMcNaber'strapswithoutknowingwheretheyare."

Heactuallysoundedworried.Shestudiedhishardfacequietly.Thatwasnice.Unless,ofcourse,he

wasonlyworriedthatshemightgetlaidupandhe'dhavetoputupwithherforevenlonger.

"Isthesnowevergoingtostop?"sheasked.

"Hardtosay,"hetoldher."I'veseenitworsethanthisevenearlierintheyear.Butwe'llmanage,I

suppose."

"Isuppose."Sheglaredathim.

Hepulledonhiscoatandbuttonedit,proppinghishatoveroneeye."Inatemperthismorning,are
we?"hemused.

Hiseyeswereactuallytwinkling.Sheshiftedbackagainstthecounter,gratefulthatHarryhadgone

offtocleanthebedrooms."I'mnotinatemper.Cheaplittletartsdon'thavetempers."

Oneeyebrowwentup."Icalledyouthat,didn'tI?"Helethiseyesrunslowlydownherbody."You

shouldn'thavekissedmelikethat.I'mnotusedtoaggressivewomen."

"RestassuredthatI'llneverattackyouagain,GoodyTwoShoes."

Hechuckledsoftly."Won'tyou?Well,disappointmentisaman'slot,Isuppose."

Hereyeswidened.Shewasn'tsureshe'devenheardhim."Youwerehorribletome!"

"IguessIwas."Hisdarkeyesheldhers,makinglittlechillsupanddownherspineattheintensity

ofthegaze."Ithoughtyouwereplayinggames.Youknow,alittleharmlessfunatthehick'sexpense."

"Idon'tknowhowtoplaygameswithmen,"shesaidstiffly,"andnobody,anywhere,couldcallyou

ahickwithastraightface.You'reaverymasculinemanwithakeenmindandanoverworkedsenseof
responsibility.Iwouldn'tmakefunofyouevenifIcould."

Hisdarkeyessmiledintohers."Inthatcase,wemightcallatruceforthetimebeing."

"Doyouthinkyoucouldstandbeingnicetome?"sheaskedsourly."Imean,itwouldbeastrain,

I'msure."

"I'mnotabadman,"hepointedout."Ijustdon'tknowmuchaboutwomen,orhadn'tthatthought

occurred?"

Shesearchedhiseyes."No."

"We'llhavetohavealongtalkaboutitoneofthesedays."Hepulledthehatdownoverhiseyes.

"I'llcheckonthecalvesforyou."

ChapterFive

Amandafinishedthebreakfastdishesbeforeshewentouttothebarn.Quinnwasstillthere,hisdark
eyesquietonthesmallestofthethreecalves.Itdidn'ttakeafortunetellertoseethatsomethingwas
badlywrong.Thesmallanimallayonitsside,itsdull,lacklusterred-and-whitecoatshowingitsribs,
itseyesglazedandunseeingwhileitfoughttobreathe.

ShekneltbesideQuinnandheglancedatherwithconcern.

"You'dbettergobackinthehouse,honey,"hesaid.

Hereyesslidoverthesmallcalf.She'dseenpetsdieovertheyears,andnowsheknewthesigns.

Thecalfwasdying.Quinnknewit,too,andwastryingtoshieldher.

Thattouchedher,oddly,morethananythinghe'dsaidordonesinceshe'dbeenonRicochet.She
lookedupathim."You'reaniceman,QuinnSutton,"shesaidsoftly.

Hedrewinaslowbreath."WhenI'mnottakingbitesoutofyou,youmean?"hereplied."Ithurtslike
hellwhenyoubackawayfromme.You'llneverknowhowsorryIamforwhathappenedyesterday."

Oneshockafteranother.Atleastittookhermindoffthepoor,laboringcreaturebesidethem."I'm

sorry,too,"shesaid."Ishouldn'thavebeenso..."Shestopped,avertinghereyes."Idon'tknowmuch
aboutmen,Quinn,"shesaidfinally."I'vespentmywholeadultlifebackingawayfrominvolvement,
emotionalorphysical.Iknowhowtoflirt,butnotmuchmore."Sheriskedaglanceathim,and
relaxedwhenshesawhisface."MyauntisMr.Durning'slover,youknow.She'sanartist.Alittle
flighty,butnice.I've...neverhadalover."

Henoddedquietly."I'vebeengettingthatideasincewewoundupnearMcNaber'scabinyesterday.
Youreactedprettyviolentlyforanexperiencedwoman."Helookedawayfromher.Thatvulnerability
inherprettyfacewasworkingonhimagain."Goinsidenow.Icandealwiththis."

"I'mnotafraidofdeath,"shereturned."Isawmymotherdie.Itwasn'tscaryatall.Shejustclosed

hereyes."

Hisdarkeyesmethersandlocked."Myfatherwentthesameway."Helookedbackdownatthecalf.
"Itwon'tbelongnow."

Shesatdowninthehaybesidehimandslidhersmallhandintohisbigone.Hehelditforalong
moment.Finallyhisvoicebrokethesilence."It'sover.Gohaveacupofcoffee.I'lltakecareofhim."

Shehadn'tmeanttocry,butthecalfhadbeensolittleandhelpless.Quinnpulledherclose,holding

herwithquietcomfort,whileshecried.Thenhewipedthetearsawaywithhisthumbsandsmiled
gently."You'lldo,"hemurmured,thinkingthatsensitivityandcouragewasanicecombinationina
woman.

Shewasthinkingtheexactsamethingabouthim.Shemanagedawaterysmileandwithonelast,

pityinglookatthecalf,shewentintothehouse.

Elliotwouldmissit,asshewould,shethought.EvenQuinnhadseemedtocareaboutit,becauseshe
sawhimoccasionallysittingbyit,pettingit,talkingtoit.Helovedlittlethings.Itwasevidentinallthe
kittensandpuppiesaroundtheplace,andinthetendercarehetookofallhiscattleandcalves.And
althoughQuinncursedoldmanMcNaber'straps,Elliothadtoldherthathestoppedbyeveryweekto
checkonthedouroldmanandmakesurehehadenoughchoppedwoodandsupplies.Forataciturn
iceman,hehadasurprisinglywarmcenter.

ShetoldHarrywhathadhappenedandsniffedalittlewhileshedrankblackcoffee."IsthereanythingI
cando?"sheasked.

Hesmiled."Youdoenough,"hemurmured."Nicetohavesomehelparoundtheplace."

"Quinnhasn'texactlythoughtso,"shesaiddryly.

"Oh,yeshehas,"hesaidfirmlyasheclearedawaythedishesthey'deatenhishomemadesoupand

cornbreadin."QuinncouldhavetakenyoutoMrs.Pearsondownthemountainifhe'dhadamindto.
Hedoesn'thavetoletyoustayhere.Mrs.Pearsonwouldbegladofthecompany."Heglancedather
andgrinnedatherperplexedexpression."He'sbeenwatchingyoulately.Seesthewayyousewuphis
shirtsandmakecurtainsandpatchpillows.It'snewtohim,havingawomanabout.Hehasahardtime
withchange."

"Don'tweall?''Amandasaidsoftly,rememberinghowclearherownlifehadbeenuntilthattragic
night.ButitwasnicetoknowthatQuinnhadbeenwatchingher.Certainlyshe'dbeenwatchinghim.
Andthismorning,everythingseemedtohavechangedbetweenthem."Whenwillitthaw?"sheasked,
andnowshewasdreadingit,notanticipatingit.Shedidn'twanttoleaveRicochet.OrQuinn.

Harryshrugged."Hardtotell.Days.Weeks.Thisisrawmountaincountry.Can'tpredictachinook.

Plentythinktheycan,though,"headded,andproceededtotellheraboutaBiackfootwhopredicted
theweatherwithjarsofbeargrease.

Shewasmuchcalmer,butstillsadwhenQuinnfinallycamebackinside.

Hesparedheraglancebeforeheshuckedhiscoat,washedhishandsandbrawnyforearmsanddried
themonatowel.

Hedidn'tsayanythingtoher,andHarry,sensingtheatmosphere,madehimselfscarceafterhe'd

pouredtwocupsofcoffeeforthem.

"Areyouallright?"heaskedherafteraminute,staringdownatherbenthead.

"Sure."Sheforcedasmile."Hewassolittle,Quinn."Shestoppedwhenhervoicebrokeandlowered
hereyestothetable."IguessyouthinkI'mawimp."

"Notreally."Withouttakingtimetothinkabouttheconsequences,hisleanhandspulledherupbythe
arms,holdingherinfrontofhimsothathereyeswereonalevelwithhisdeepblue,plaidflannel
shirt.Thesleeveswererolledup,anditwasopenatthethroat,wherethick,darkhaircurledoutofit.
HelookedandsmelledfiercelymasculineandAmanda'skneesweakenedattheunexpectedproximity.
Hisbighandsbitintohersoftflesh,andshewonderedabsentlyifherealizedjusthowstronghewas.

Thefeelofhimsoclosewasnewandterriblyexciting,especiallysincehe'dreachedforherforthe

firsttime.Shedidn'tknowwhattoexpect,andherheartwasgoingwild.Sheloweredhereyestohis
throat.Hispulsewasjumpingandshestaredatitcuriously,onlyhalfawareofhisholdandthe
suddenincreaseofhisbreathing.

Hewashavinghelljustgettingabreath.Thescentofherwasinhisnostrils,drowninghim.Woman

smell.Sweetandwarm.Histeethclenched.Itwasbadenoughhavingtolookather,butthisclose,she
madehisbloodrunhotandwildasithadn'tsincehewasayoungman.Hedidn'tknowwhathewas
doing,buttheneedforherhadhauntedhimfordays.Hewantedsobadlytokissher,thewayshe'd
kissedhimthedaybefore,butinadifferentway.Hewasn'tquitesurehowtogoaboutit.

"Yousmellofflowers,"hesaidroughly.

Thatwasaninterestingcommentfromanonpoeticman.Shesmiledalittletoherself."It'smy

shampoo,"shemurmured.

Hedrewinasteadyingbreath."Youdon'twearyourhairdownatall,doyou?"

"Justatnight,"shereplied,awarethathisfacewascloserthanithadbeen,becauseshecouldfeel

hisbreathonherforehead.Hewassotallandoverwhelmingthisclose.Hemadeherfeeltinyand
veryfeminine.

"I'msorryaboutthecalf,Amanda,"hesaid."Weloseafeweverywinter.It'spartofranching."

Theshockofhernameonhislipsmadeherliftherhead.Shestaredupathimcuriously,searching

hisdark,quieteyes."Isupposeso.Ishouldn'thavegottensoupset,though.Iguessmendon'treactto
thingsthewaywomendo."

"Youdon'tknowwhatkindofmanIam,"hereplied.Hishandsfeltvaguelytremulous.He

wonderedifsheknewtheeffectshehadonhim."Asithappens,Igetattachedtothedamnedthings,
too."Hesighedheavily."Littlethingsdon'thavemuchchoiceinthisworld.They'reatthemercyof
everythingandeverybody."

Hereyessoftenedastheysearchedhis.Hesoundeddifferentwhenhespokethatway.Vulnerable.

Almosttender.Andsoalone.

"Youaren'treallyafraidofme,areyou?"heasked,asifthethoughtwasactuallypainful.

Shegrimaced."No.Ofcoursenot.IwasashamedofwhatI'ddone,andalittlenervousofthewayyou
reactedtoit,that'sall.Iknowyouwouldn'thurtme."Shedrewinasoftbreath."Iknowyouresent
havingmehere,"sheconfessed."Iresentedhavingtodependonyouforshelter.Butthesnowwill
meltsoon,andI'llleave."

"Ithoughtyou'dhadlovers,"heconfessedquietly."Thewayyouacted...well,itjustmadeallthose

suspicionsworse.Itookyouatfacevalue."

Amandasmiled."Itwasallput-on.Idon'tevenknowwhyIdidit.IguessIwastryingtolivedown

toyourimageofme."

Helovedthesensationhersultryblackeyesarousedinhim.Unconsciouslyhishandstightenedonher
arms,"Youhaven'thadaman,ever?"heaskedhuskily.

Theoddshadowofduskycoloralonghischeekbonesfascinatedher.Shewonderedaboutthe

embarrassmentaskingthequestionhadcaused."No.Notever,"shestammered.

"Thewayyoulook?"heasked,hiseyeseloquent,"Whatdoyoumean,thewayIlook?"shesaid,
bristling.

"Youknowyou'rebeautiful,"hereturned.Hiseyesdarkened."Awomanwholookslikeyoudo

couldhaveherpickofmen."

"Maybe,"sheagreedwithoutconceit."ButI'veneverwantedamaninmylife,tobedominatedbya

man.I'vemademyownwayintheworld.I'mamusician,"shetoldhim,becausethatdidn'tgiveaway
verymuch."Isupportmyselfbyplayingakeyboard."

"Yes,Elliottoldme.I'veheardyouplayforhim.You'regood."Hefelthisheartbeatincreasingas

helookedather.Shesmelledsogood.Helookeddownathermouthandrememberedhowithadfelt
forthosefewsecondswhenhe'dgivenintoherplayfulkiss.Wouldshelethimdoit?Heknewso
littleaboutthosesubtlemessageswomenweresupposedtosendoutwhentheywantedaman's
lovemaking.Hecouldn'treadAmanda'seyes.Butherlipswerepartedandherbreathwascoming
ratherfastfrombetweenthem.Herfacewasflushed,butthatcouldhavebeenfromthecold.

Shegazedupintohiseyesandcouldn'tlookaway.Hewasn'thandsome.Hisfacereallyseemedas

ifithadbeenchippedawayfromthesideoftheRockies,allcraggyanglesandhardlines.Hismouth
wasthinandfaintlycruellooking.Shewonderedifitwould
feelashardasitlookedifhewasincontrol,dominat-
ingherlips.Ithadbeendifferentwhenshe'dkissed
him

"Whatareyouthinking?"heaskedhuskily,becausehereyeswerequitefranklyonhismouth.

"I...waswondering,"shewhisperedhesitantly,"howhardyourmouthwouldbeifyoukissedme."

Hisheartstoppedandthenbegantoslamagainsthischest."Don'tyouknowalready?"heasked,his
voicedeeper,harsher."Youkissedme."

"Not...properly."

Hewonderedwhatshemeantbyproperly.Hiswifehadonlykissedhimwhenshehadto,andonly

intheverybeginningoftheircourtship.Shealwayspushedhimawayandmurmuredsomethingabout
mussinghermakeup.Hecouldn'trememberonetimewhenhe'dkissedanyonewithpassion,orwhen
he'deverbeenkissedbyanyoneelselikethat.

Hiswarm,roughhandsletgoofherarmsandcameuptoframehersoftovalface.Hisbreath

shudderedoutofhischestwhenshedidn'tprotestashebenthisdarkhead.

"Showmewhatyoumean...byproperly,"hewhispered.

Hehadtoknow,shethoughtdizzily.Buthislipstouchedhersandshetastedthewindandthesunon

them.Herhandsclenchedthethickflannelshirtandsheresistedsearchingforbuttons,becauseshe
wantedverymuchtotouchthatthicketofblack,curlinghairthatcoveredhisbroadchest.Shewenton
hertiptoesandpushedhermouthagainsthis,theforceoftheactionpartinghislipsaswellasher
own,andshefelthimstiffenandheardhimgroanastheiropenmouthsmet.

Shedroppedbackontoherfeet,herwide,curiouseyesmeetinghisstormyones.

"Likethat?"hewhisperedgruffly,bendingtorepeattheactionwithhisownmouth."I'veneverdone

it...withmymouthopen,"hesaid,bitingoffthewordsagainstheropenlips.

Shecouldn'tbelievehe'dsaidthat.Shecouldn'tbelieve,either,thesensationsripplingdowntoher
toeswhenshegaveintotheforceofhisardorandlethimkissherthatway,hismouthroughand
demandingasonebighandslidtothebackofherheadtopressherevencloser.

Asoftsoundpassedherlips,afaintmoan,becauseshecouldn'tgetcloseenoughtohim.Herbreasts
wereflattenedagainsthishardchest,andshefelthisheartbeatagainstthem.Butshewantedtobe
closerthanthat,enveloped,crushedtohim.

"DidIhurtyou?"heaskedinashakywhisperthattouchedherlips.

"What?"shewhisperedbackdizzily.

"Youmadeasound."

Hereyessearchedhis,herownmistyandhalfclosedandrapt."Imoaned,"shewhispered.Hernails

strokedhimthroughtheshirtandshelikedthefainttautnessofhisbodyashereactedtoit."Ilike
beingkissedlikethat."Sherubbedherforeheadagainsthim,smellingsoapanddetergentandpure
man."Couldwetakeyourshirtoff?"shewhispered.

Herhandsweredrivinghimnuts,andhewaswonderingthesamethinghimself.Butsomewherein
thebackofhismindherememberedthatHarrywasaround,andthatitmightlookcompromisingif
helethertouchhimthatway.Infact,itmightgetcompromising,becausehefelthisbodyhardenina
wayithadn'tsincehismarriage.Andbecauseitmadehimvulnerableandhedidn'twanthertofeelit,
hetookhergentlybythearmsandmovedherawayfromhimwithamuffledcurse.

"Harry,"hesaid,hisbreathcomingdeepandrough.

Shecolored."Oh,yes."Shemovedback,hereyesalittlewild.

"Youdon'thavetolooksothreatened.Iwon'tdoitagain,"hesaid,misunderstandingherretreat.

Hadhefrightenedheragain?

"Oh,it'snotthat.Youdidn'tfrightenme."She

loweredhereyestothefloor."I'mjustwonderingif
you'llthinkI'measy___"

Hescowled."Easy?"

"Idon'tusuallycomeontomen,"shesaidsoftly.
"AndI'veneveraskedanybodytotakehisshirtoff
before."Sheglancedupathim,fascinatedbythe
expressiononhisface."Well,Ihaven't,"shesaid
belligerently."Andyoudon'thavetoworry;Iwon't
throwmyselfatyouanymore,either.Ijustgotcar-
riedawayintheheatofthemoment___"

Hiseyebrowsarched.Noneofwhatshewassayingmadesense."Likeyoudidyesterday?"he

mused,likingthecolorthatcameandwentinherface."Ididaccuseyouofthrowingyourselfatme,"
hesaidonalongsigh.

"Yes.YouseemtothinkI'msomesortofliberatedsexmaniac."

Hislipscurledinvoluntarily."Areyou?"heasked,andsoundedinterested.

Shestampedherfoot."Stopthat.Idon'twanttostayhereanymore!"

"I'mnotsureit'sagoodideamyself,"hemused,watchinghereyesglitterwithrage.God,shewas

pretty!"Imean,ifyoutriedtoseduceme,thingscouldgetsticky."

Theredinhercheeksgotdarker."Idon'thaveanyplanstoseduceyou."

"Well,ifyougetany,you'dbettertellmeinadvance,"hesaid,pullingacigarettefromhisshirt

pocket."JustsoIcanbepreparedtofightyouoff."

Thatdrydrawlconfusedher.Suddenlyhewasadifferentman,fullofmalearroganceand

amusement.Thingshadshiftedbetweenthemduringthatlong,hardkiss.Thedistancehadshortened,
andhewaslookingatherwithanexpressionshecouldn'tquiteunderstand.

"Howdidyougettotheageyouarewithoutwindingupinsomeone'sbed?"Quinnaskedthen.He'd

wonderedathershynesswithhimandthenatthewaysheblushedallthetime.Hedidn'tknowmuch
aboutwomen,buthewantedtoknoweverythingabouther.

Amandawrappedherarmsaroundherselfandshrugged.Whenhelithiscigaretteandstillstoodthere
waitingforananswer,shegaveinandreplied."Icouldn'tgiveupcontrol,"shesaidsimply."Allmy
lifeI'dbeendominatedandpushedaroundbymyfather.Givingintoamanseemedlikethrowing
awaymyrightsasaperson.Especiallygivingintoamaninbed,"shestammered,avertinghergaze.
"Idon'tthinkthere'sanyplaceintheworldwhereamanismorethemasterthaninabedroom,despite
alltheliberationandfreedomofmodernlife."

"Andyouthinkthatwomenshoulddominatethere."

Shelookedup."Well,notdominate."Shehesitated."Butawomanshouldn'tbeusedjustbecauseshe's
awoman."

Histhinmouthcurledslightly."Neithershouldaman."

"Iwasn'tusingyou,"sheshotback.

"DidIaccuseyou?"hereturnedinnocently.

Sheswallowed."No,Iguessnot."Shefoldedherarmsoverherbreasts,wincingbecausethetipswere
hardandunexpectedlytender.

"Thathardnessmeansyoufeeldesire,"hesaid,grinningwhenshegapedandthenglaredathim.

Shemadehimfeelabouttenfeettall."Ireadthisbookaboutsex,"hecontinued."Itdidn'tmakemuch
sensetomeatthetime,butit'sbeginningto."

"Iamnotavailableasalivingmodelforsexeducation!"

Heshrugged."Suityourself.Butit'sahellofalosstomyeducation."

"Youdon'tneededucating,"shemuttered."Youweremarried."

Henodded."SureIwas."Hepursedhislipsandlethiseyesrunlazilyoverherbody."Exceptthatshe
neverwantedme,beforeorafterImarriedher."

Amanda'slipsparted."Oh,Quinn,"shesaidsoftly."I'msorry."

"SowasI,atthetime."Heshookhishead."IusedtowonderatfirstwhyshepulledbackeverytimeI
kissedher.Iguessshewassufferingituntilshecouldgetmetoputtheringonherfinger.Upuntil
then,Ithoughtitwasherscruplesthatkeptmeatarm'slength.Butsheneverhadmanymorals."He
staredatAmandacuriously,surprisedathoweasyitwastotellherthingshe'dneversharedwith
anotherhumanbeing."AfterIfoundoutwhatshereallywas,Icouldn'thavecaredlessaboutsharing
herbed."

"No,Idon'tsupposeso,"sheagreed.

Heliftedthecigarettetohislipsandhiseyesnarrowedashestudiedher."Elliot'salmostthirteen,"he
said."He'sbeenmywholelife.I'vetakencareofhimanddoneforhim.Heknowsthere'snobloodtie

betweenus,butIlovehimandhelovesme.Inalltheimportantways,I'mhisfatherandhe'smyson.*'

"Helovesyouverymuch,"shesaidwithasmile."Hetalksaboutyouallthetime."

"He'sagoodboy."Hemovedalittlecloser,noticinghowshetensedwhenhecameclose.Heliked

thatreactionalot.Ittoldhimthatshewasawareofhim,butshyandreticent."Youdon'thavemen,"he
saidsoftly."Well,Idon'thavewomen."

"Notfor...afewmonths?"shestammered,becauseshecouldn'timaginethathewastellingthe

truth.

Heshruggedhispowerfulshoulders."Well,notforabitlongerthanthat.Notmuchopportunityup
here.AndIcan'tgooffandleaveElliotwhileItomcataroundtown.It'sbeenabitlongerthanthirteen
years."

"Abit?"

Helookeddownatherwithacurious,mockingsmile."WhenIwasaboy,Ididn'tknowhowtoget
girls.Iwasbigandclumsyandshy,soitwastheotherboyswhoscored."Hetookanotherdraw,a
slightlyjerkyone,fromhiscigarette."Istillhavethesameproblemaroundmostwomen.It'snotso
muchhatredasalackofability,andshyness.Idon'tknowhowtocomeontoawoman,"heconfessed
withafaintsmile.

Amandafeltasifthesunhadjustcomeout.Shesmiledback."Don'tyou,really?"sheaskedsoftly.

"Ithoughtitwasjustthatyoufoundmelacking,orthatIwasn'twomanenoughtointerestyou."

Hecouldhavelaughedoutloudatthatassumption."IsthatwhyyoucalledmeGoodyTwoShoes?"

heaskedpleasantly.

Shelaughedsoftly."Well,thatwassortofsourgrapes."Sheloweredhereyestohischest."Ithurtmy
feelingsthatyouthoughtIdidn'thaveanymorals,whenI'dnevermadeonesinglemovetowardany
othermaninmywholelife."

Hefeltwarmalloverfromthatshyconfession.Ittookdownthefinalbrickinhiswallofreserve.She
wasn'tlikeanywomanhe'deverknown."I'mgladtoknowthat.ButyouandIhavemoreincommon
thanalackoftechnique,"hesaid,hesitating.

"Wedo?!'sheasked.Hersofteyesheldhis."Whatdoyoumean?"

Heturnedanddeliberatelyputouthiscigaretteintheashtrayonthetablebesidethem.He

straightenedandlookeddownatherspeculativelyforafewsecondsbeforehewentforbroke."Well,
whatImean,Amanda,"herepliedfinally,"isthatyouaren'ttheonlyvirginontheplace."

ChapterSix

didn'thearthat,"Amandasaid,becausesheknewshehadn't.QuinnSuttoncouldn'thavetoldherthat

hewasavirgin.

"Yes,youdid,"hereplied."Andit'snotallthatfarfetched.OldMcNaberdownthehill'sneverhada

woman,andhe'sinhisseventies.Thereareallsortsofreasonswhymendon'tgetexperience.Morals,
scruples,isolation,orevenplainshyness.Justlikewomen,"headdedwithameaningfullookat
Amanda."Icouldn'tgotobedwithsomebodyjusttosayI'dhadsex.I'dhavetocareabouther,want
her,andI'dwanthertocareaboutme.Thereareidealisticpeopleallovertheworldwhoneverfind
thatparticularcombination,sotheystaycelibate.Andreally,Ithinkthatpeoplewhosleeparound
indiscriminatelyareintheminorityevenintheseliberatedtimes.Onlyafooltakesthatsortofrisk
withthehealthdangerswhattheyare."

"Yes,Iknow."Shewatchedhimwithfascinatedeyes."Haven'tyouever...wantedto?"sheasked.

"Well,that'stheproblem,yousee,"hereplied,hisdarkeyessteadyonherface.

"Whatis?"

"Ihave...wantedto.Withyou."

Sheleanedbackagainstthecounter,justtomakesureshedidn'tfalldown."Withme?"

"Thatfirstnightyoucamehere,whenIwassosick,andyourhairdrifteddownovermynaked

chest.Ishivered,andyouthoughtitwaswithfever,"hemused."Itwasafever,allright,butitdidn't
haveanythingtodowiththevirus."

Herfingersclenchedthecounter.She'dwonderedabouthisviolentreactionatthetime,butitseemed
sounlikelythatacoldmanlikeQuinnSuttonwouldfeelthatwayaboutawoman.Hewashuman,she
thoughtabsently,watchinghim.

"That'swhyI'vegivenyousuchahardtime,"heconfessedwithnarrowed,quieteyes."Idon'tknow

howtohandledesire.Ican'tthrowyouovermyshoulderandcarryyouupstairs,notwithElliotand
Harryaround,evenifyouwerethekindofwomanIthoughtatfirstyouwere.Thefactthatyou'reas
innocentasIamonlymakesitmorecomplicated."

Shelookedathimwithnewunderstanding,asfascinatedbyhimasheseemedtobebyher.He

wasn'tthatbadlooking,shemused.Andhewasterriblystrong,andsexyinanearthykindofway.She

especiallylikedhiseyes.Theyweremuchmoreexpressivethanthatpokerface.

"Fortunatelyforyou,I'mkindofshy,too,"shemurmured.

"Exceptwhenyou'reaskingmentotaketheirclothesoff,"Quinnsaid,nodding.

HarryfrozeinthedoorwaywithonefootliftedwhileAmandagapedathimandturnedred.

"Putyourfootdownandgetbusy,"Quinnmutteredirritably."Whywereyoustandingthere?"

"Iwasgettingeducated."Harrychuckled."Ididn'tknowAmandaaskedpeopletotaketheirclothes

off!"

"Onlyme,"Quinnsaid,defendingher."Andjustmyshirt.She'snotabadgirl."

"Willyoustop!"Amandaburiedherfaceinherhands."Goaway!"

"Ican't.Ilivehere,"Quinnpointedout."DidIsmellbrandyonyourbreath?"heaskedsuddenly.

HarrygrimacedevenasAmanda'seyeswidened."Well,yesyoudo,"heconfessed."Shewasupset

andcryingandall..."

"Howmuchdidyougiveher?"Quinnpersisted.

"Onlyafewdrops,"Harrypromised."Inhercoffee,tocalmher.''

"Harry,howcouldyou!"Amandalaughed.Thecoffeehadtastedfunny,butshe'dbeentooupsetto

wonderwhy.

"Sorry,"Harrymurmureddryly."Butitseemedthethingtodo."

"Itbackfired,"Quinnmurmuredandactuallysmiled.

"Youstopthat!"Amandatoldhim.Shesatdownatthetable."I'mnottipsy.Harry,I'llpeelthose

applesforthepieifIcanhaveaknife."

"Letmegetoutoftheroomfirst,ifyouplease,"Quinnsaid,glancingatherdryly."Isawher

measuringmybackforaplacetoputit."

"Ialmostneverstabmenwithknives,"shepromisedimpishly.

Hechuckled.Hereachedforhishatandslanteditoverhisbrow,buttoninghisoldshepherd'scoat
becauseitwassnowingoutsideagain.

Amandalookedpasthim,thereasonforalltheupsetcomingbacknowasshecalmeddown.Her

expressionbecamesad.

"Ifyoustaybusy,youwon'tthinkaboutitsomuch,"Quinnsaidquietly."It'spartoflife,youknow."

"Iknow."Shemanagedasmile."I'mfine.DespiteHarry,"sheaddedwithachuckle,watchingHarry

squirmbeforehegrinnedback.

Quinn'sdarkeyesmetherswarmlyforlongerthanhemeant,sothatsheblushed.Hetorehiseyes
awayfinally,andwentoutside.

Harrydidn'tsayanything,buthissmilewasspeculative.

ElliotcamehomefromschoolandpersuadedAmandatogetoutthekeyboardandgivehimsome

morepointers.Headmittedthathe'dbeenbraggingabouthertohisclassmatesandthatshewasa
professionalmusician.

"Wheredoyouplay,Amanda?"Elliotaskedcuriously,andhestaredatherwithopenpuzzlement.

"Youlooksofamiliarsomehow."

Shesatverystillonthesofaandtriedtostaycalm.Elliothadalreadytoldherthathelikedrockmusic
andsheknewQuinnhadhiddenhistapes.IftherewasatapeinhiscollectionbyDesperado,itwould
haveherpictureonthecoveralongwiththatofhergroup.

"DoIreallylookfamiliar?"sheaskedwithasmile."MaybeIjusthavethatkindofface."

"Haveyouplayedwithorchestras?"hepersisted.

"No.Justbymyself,sortof.Innightclubs,"sheimprovised.Well,shehadoncesanginanightclub,

tofillinforafriend."MostlyIdobackup.Youknow,Iplaywithgroupsforpeoplewhomaketapes
andrecords."

"Wow!"heexclaimed."Iguessyouknowalotoffamoussingersandmusicians?""Afew,"she
agreed."Wheredoyouwork?"

"InNewYorkCity,inNashville,"shetoldhim."Allover.WhereverIcanfindwork."

Heranhisfingersupanddownthekeyboard."Howdidyoueverwinduphere?"

"Ineededarest,"shesaid."Myauntis...afriendofMr.Durning.SheaskedhimifIcouldborrow

thecabin,andhesaiditwasallright.Ihadtogetawayfromworkforawhile."

"Thisdoesn'tbotheryou,doesit?Teachingmetoplay,Imean?"heaskedandlookedconcerned.

"No,Elliot,itdoesn'tbotherme.I'menjoyingit."Sheranascaleandtaughtittohim,thenshowed

himthecadencesofthechordsthatwentwithit.

"It'ssocomplicated,"hemoaned.

"Ofcourseitis.Musicisanartform,andit'scomplex.Butonceyoulearnthesebasics,youcando

anythingwithachord.Forinstance..."

Sheplayedatonicchord,thenmadeanimpromptusongfromitssubdominantandseventhchords

andthesecondinversionofthem.Elliotwatched,fascinated.

"Iguessyou'vestudiedforyears,"hesaidwithasigh.

"Yes,Ihave,andI'mstilllearning,"shesaid."ButIloveitmorethananything.Musichasbeenmy
wholelife."

"Nowonderyou'resogoodatit."

Shesmiled."Thanks,Elliot."

"Well,I'dbettergetmychoresdonebeforesupper,"hesaid,sighing.HehandedAmandathe

keyboard."Seeyoulater."

Shenodded.Hewentout.Harrywasfeedingthetwocalvesthatwerestillalive,sopresumablyhe'd

tellElliotabouttheonethathaddied.Amandahadn'thadthehearttotalkaboutit.

Herfingersranoverthekeyboardlovinglyandshebegantoplayasongthathergrouphadrecorded
twoyearsback,asad,dreamyballadabouthopelesslovethathadwonthemaGrammy.Shesangit
softly,herpure,sweetvoicehauntinginthesilenceoftheroomasshetriedtosingforthefirsttime
inweeks.

"Elliot,forPete'ssake,turnthatradiodown,I'monthetelephone!"cameapleadingvoicefromthe

backofthehouse.

Shestoppedimmediately,flushing.Shehadn'trealizedthatHarryhadcomebackinside.ThankGod
hehadn'tseenher,orhemighthaveaskedsomepertinentquestions.Sheputthekeyboarddownand
wenttothekitchen,relievedthathersingingvoicewasbacktonormalagain.

Elliotwasmoroseatthesuppertable.He'dheardaboutthecalfandhe'dbeenasdepressedasAmanda
had.Quinndidn'tlookallthathappyhimself.TheyallpickedatthedeliciouschiliHarryhadwhipped
up;nobodyhadmuchofanappetite.

Aftertheyfinished,ElliotdidhishomeworkwhileAmandaputthelaststitchesintoachaircovershe
wasmakingforthelivingroom.QuinnhadgoneofftodohispaperworkandHarrywasmaking
breadforthenextday.

Itwasalong,lazynight.Elliotwenttobedateight-thirtyandnotmuchlaterHarrywenttohisroom.

AmandawantedtowaitforQuinntocomeback,butsomethinginherwasafraidofthenewwayhe
lookedather.Hewasmuchmoreathreatnowthanhehadbeenbefore,becauseshewaslookingat
himwithnewandinterestedeyes.Shewasdrawntohimmorethanever.Buthedidn'tknowwhoshe
reallywas,andshecouldn'ttellhim.Ifshewerepersuadedintoanykindofcloserelationshipwith
him,itcouldleadtodisaster.

SowhenElliotwenttobed,sodidAmanda.Shesatatthedresserandletdownherlonghair,

brushingitwithslow,lazystrokes,whentherewasaknockatthedoor.

ShewasafraidthatitmightbeQuinn,andshehesitated.Butsurelyhewouldn'tmakeanyadvances

towardherunlesssheshowedthatshewantedthem.Ofcoursehewouldn't.

Sheopenedthedoor,butitwasn'tQuinn.ItwasElliot.Andashestaredather,wheelsmovedand
gearsclickedinhisyoungmind.Shewaswearingalonggrannygowninadeepbeige,ashadethat
wastoomuchlikethecoloroftheleatherdresssheworeonstage.Withherhairlooseandthecolor
ofthegown,Elliotmadetheconnectionhehadn'tmadethefirsttimehesawherhairdown.

"Yes?"sheprompted,puzzledbythewayhewaslookingather."Issomethingwrong,Elliot?"

"Uh,no,"hestammered."Uh,Iforgottosaygood-night.Goodnight!"Hegrinned.

Heturned,redfaced,andbeatahastyretreat,butnottohisownroom.Hewenttohisfather'sand
searchedquicklythroughthehiddentapesuntilhefoundtheonehewanted.Hehelditup,staring
blanklyatthecover.Therewerefourmenwholookedlikeviciousbikerssurroundingabeautiful
womaninbuckskinwithlong,elegant,blondhair.Thegroupwasoneofhisfavorites—Desperado.
AndthewomanwasMandy.Amanda.HisAmanda.Hecaughthisbreath.Boy,wouldshebeinforitif
hisdadfoundoutwhoshewas!Heputthetapeintohispocket,feelingguiltyfortakingitwhenQuinn
hadtoldhimnotto.Buttheseweredesperatecircumstances.HehadtoprotectAmandauntilhecould
figureouthowtotellherthatheknewthetruth.Meanwhile,havingherinthesamehousewithhim
wassheerundilutedheaven!Imagine,asingingstarthatfamousinhishouse.Ifonlyhecouldtellthe
guys!Butthatwastoorisky,becauseitmightgetbacktoDad.Hesighed.Justhisluck,tofindarare
jewelandhavetohideittokeepsomeonefromstealingit.HeclosedthedoortoQuinn'sbedroom
andwentquicklybacktohisown.

Amandasleptsoundly,almostmissingbreakfast.Outside,theskylookedblueforthefirsttimein
days,andshenoticedthatthesnowhadstopped.

"Chinook'scoming,"Harrysaidwithagrin."Iknewitwould."

Quinn'sdarkeyesstudiedAmanda'sface."Well,itwillbeafewdaysbeforetheygetthepower

linesbackupagain,"hemuttered."Sodon'tgetinanuproaraboutit."

"I'mnotinanuproar,"Harryreturnedwithafrown."Ijustthoughtitwasnicethatwe'llbeableto

getoffthemountainandlayinsomemoresupplies.I'mgettingtiredofbeef.Iwantachicken."

"SodoI!"Elliotsaidfervently."Orbear,orbeaverormoose,anythingbutbeef!"

Quinnglaredatbothofthem."Beefpaysthebillsaroundhere,"heremindedthem.

TheylookedsoguiltythatAmandaalmostlaughedoutloud.

"I'msorry,Dad,"Elliotsighed."I'lltellmystomachtoshutupaboutit."

Quinn'shardfacerelaxed."It'sallright.Iwouldn'tmindachickenstew,myself."

"That'sthespirit,"Elliotsaid."Whatarewegoingtodotoday?It'sSaturday,"hepointedout."No

school."

"Youcouldgooutwithmeandhelpmefeedcattle,"Quinnsaid.

"I'llstayhereandhelpHarry,"Amandasaid,tooquickly.

Quinn'sdarkeyessearchedhers."Harrycanmanagebyhimself.YoucancomewithmeandElliot."

"You'llenjoyit,"Elliotassuredher."It'salotoffun.Thecattleseeusandcomerunning.Well,aswell
astheycanruninseveralfeetofsnow,"heamended.

Itwasfun,too.AmandasatonthebackofthesledwithElliotandhelpedpushthebalesofhayoff.
Quinncutthestringssothecattlecouldgettothehay.Theydidcomerunning,remindingAmandaso
vividlyofwomenatasalethatshelaughedhelplesslyuntiltheothershadtobetoldwhyshewas
laughing.

Theycamebackfromtheoutinginanewkindofharmony,andforthefirsttime,Amanda

understoodwhatitfeltliketobepartofafamily.ShelookedatQuinnandwonderedhowitwouldbe
ifsheneverhadtoleavehere,ifshecouldstaywithhimandElliotandHarryforever.

Butshecouldn't,shetoldherselffirmly.Shehadtorememberthatthiswasavacation,withthereal

worldjustoutsidethedoor.

ElliotwasallowedtostayuplateronSaturdaynight,sotheywatchedascience-fictionmovie

togetherwhileQuinngrumbledoverpaperwork.Thenextmorningtheywenttochurchonthesled,
Amandaintheoneskirtandblouseshe'dpacked,tryingnottolooktooconspicuousasQuinn'sfew
neighborscarefullyscrutinizedher.

Whentheygotbackhome,shewasallbutshaking.Shefeltuncomfortablelivingwithhim,asifshe

reallywasafallenwomannow.Hecorneredherinthekitchenwhileshewaswashingdishestofind
outwhyshewassoquiet.

"Ididn'tthinkaboutthewaypeoplewouldreactifyouwentwithusthismorning,"hesaidquietly."I
wouldn'thavesubjectedyoutothatifI'djustthought."

"It'sokay,"shesaid,touchedbyhisconcern."Really.Itwasjustalittleuncomfortable."

Hesighed,searchingherfacewithnarrowedeyes."MostpeoplearoundhereknowhowIfeel

aboutwomen,"hesaidbluntly."Thatwaswhyyouattractedsomuchattention.Peoplegetfunnyideas
aboutwomanhaterswhotakeinbeautifulblondes."

"I'mnotbeautiful,"shestammeredshyly.

Hesteppedtowardher,toweringoverherinhisdressslacksandgoodwhiteshirtandsedategray

tie.Helookedhandsomeandstrongandverymasculine.Shelikedthespicycolognehewore."You're
beautiful,allright,"hemurmured.Hisbighandtouchedhercheek,slidingdownitslowly,histhumb
brushingwithsoftabrasionoverherfullmouth.

Herbreathcaughtasshelookedupintohisdark,softeyes."Quinn?"shewhispered.

Hedrewherhandsoutofthewarm,soapywater,stillholdinghergaze,anddriedthemona

dishcloth.Thenheguidedthem,firstone,thentheother,uptohisshoulders.

"Holdme,"hewhisperedashishandssmoothedoverherwaistandbroughthergentlytohim."Iwant
tokissyou."

Sheshiveredfromthesensualityinthatsoftwhisper,liftingherfacewillingly.

Hebent,brushinghismouthlazilyoverhers."Isn'tthishowwediditbefore?"hebreathed,parting
hislipsastheytouchedhers."Ilikethewayitfeelstokissyoulikethis.Myspinetingles."

"So...doesmine."Sheslidherhandshesitantlyintothethick,coolstrandsofhairathisnapeandshe
wentontiptoetogivehimbetteraccesstohermouth.

Heacceptedtheinvitationwithquietsatisfaction,hismouthgrowingslowlyrougherandhungrier

asitfedonhers.Hemadeasoundunderhisbreathandallatoncehebent,liftingherclearoffthe
floorinabearishembrace.Hismouthbithers,partingherlips,andsheclungtohim,moaningasthe
feverburnedinher,too.

HelethergoatoncewhenElliotcalled,"What?"fromthelivingroom."Amanda,didyousay

something?"

"No...No,Elliot,"shemanagedinatonepitchedalittlehigherthannormal.Heranswerappearedto
satisfyhim,becausehedidn'taskagain.Harrywasoutside,butheprobablywouldn'tstaytherelong.

ShelookedupatQuinn,surprisedbytheintentstarehewasgivingher.Helikedthewayshelooked,
herfaceflushed,hermouthswollenfromhiskisses,hereyeswideandsoftandfaintlymistywith
emotion.

"I'dbettergetoutofhere,"hesaidhesitantly.

"Yes."Shetouchedherlipswithherfingersandhewatchedthemovementclosely.

"DidIhurtyourmouth?"heaskedquietly.

Sheshookherhead."No.Oh,no,notatall,"shesaidhuskily.

Quinnnoddedandsighedheavily.Hesmiledfaintlyandthenturnedandwentbackintotheliving

roomwithoutanotherword.

Itwasalongafternoon,madelongerbythestrainAmandafeltbeingclosetohim.Shefoundher

eyesmeetinghisacrosstheroomandeverytimesheflushedfromtheintensityofthelook.Herbody
washungryforhim,andsheimaginedthereversewasequallytrue.Hewatchedheropenlynow,with
smolderinghungerinhiseyes.Theyhadalightsupperandwatchedalittlemoretelevision.Butwhen
HarrywenttohisroomandElliotcalledgood-nightandwentuptobed,Amandaweaklystayed

behind.

Quinnfinishedhiscigarettewiththeairofamanwhohadallnight,andthengotupandreachedfor
Amanda,liftingherintohisarms.

"There'snothingtobeafraidof,"hesaidquietly,searchingherwide,apprehensiveeyesashe

turnedandcarriedherintohisstudyandclosedthedoorbehindthem.

Itwasafiercelymasculineroom.Thefurniturewasdarkwoodwithleatherseats,theremnantsof
moreprosperoustimes.HesatdowninabigleatherarmchairwithAmandainhislap.

"It'sprivatehere,"heexplained.Hishandmovedoneofherstohisshirtandpresseditthere,over

thetie."EvenElliotdoesn'tcomeinwhenthedoor'sshut.Doyoustillwanttotakemyshirtoff?"he
askedwithawarmsmile.

Amandasighed."Well,yes,"shestammered."Ihaven'tdonethissortofthingbefore—"

"NeitherhaveI,honey,"hemurmureddryly."Iguesswe'lllearnittogether,won'twe?"

Shesmiledintohisdarkeyes."Thatsoundsnice."Sheloweredhereyestothetieandfrowned

whenshesawhowitwasknotted.

"Here,I'lldoit."Hewhippeditoffwiththeeaseoflongpracticeandunloopedthecollarbutton.

"Now.Youdotherest,"hesaiddeeply,andlookedlikeamananticipatingheaven.

Herfingers,soadeptonakeyboard,fumbledliketwoleftfeetwhilesheworriedbuttonsoutof

buttonholes.Hewasheavilymuscled,tannedskinunderamassofthick,curlingblackhair.She
rememberedhowithadlookedthatfirstnightshe'dbeenhere,andhowherhandshadlongedtotouch
it.Odd,becauseshe'dnevercaredwhatwasunderaman'sshirtbefore.

Shepressedherhandsflatagainsthim,fascinatedbythequickthunderofhisheartbeatunderthem.

Shelookedupintodark,quieteyes.

"Shy?"hemurmureddryly.

"Alittle.Ialwaysusedtorunamilewhenmengotthisclose."

Thesmilefaded.Hisbighandcoveredhers,pressingthemcloseragainsthim."Wasn'tthereever
anyoneyouwanted?"

Sheshookherhead."ThemenI'musedtoaren'tlikeyou.They'remostlyrounderswithalinea

milelong.Everythingisjustcasualtothem,likeeatingmints."Sheflushedalittle."Intimacyisn'ta
casualthingtome."

"Ortome."Hischestroseandfellheavily.Hetouchedherbrighthead."Nowwillyoutakeyour

hairdown,Amanda?"heaskedgently."I'vedreamedaboutitfordays."

Amandasmiledsoftly."Haveyou,really?It'ssomethingofanuisancetowashanddry,butI've

gottensortofusedtoit."Sheunbraideditandletitdown,enchantedbyQuinn'sraptfascinationwith
it.Hisbighandstangledinit,asifhelovedthefeelofit.Hebroughthisfacedownandkissedher
neckthroughit,drawingheragainsthisbarechest.

"Itsmellslikeflowers,"hewhispered.

"Iwasheditbeforechurchthismorning,"shereplied."Elliotloanedmehisblow-dryerbutitstill

tookallofthirtyminutestogetthedampnessout."Sherelaxedwithasigh,nuzzlingagainsthis
shoulderwhileherfingerstuggedatthethickhaironhischest."Youfeelfurry.Likeabear,"she
murmured.

"Youfeelsilky,"hesaidagainstherhair.Withhishand,Quinntiltedherfaceuptohisandslidhis

mouthontohersinthesilentroom.Hegroanedsoftlyasherlipspartedunderhis.Hisarmsliftedand
turnedher,wrappedherup,sothatherbreastswerelyingonhischestandhercheekwaspressed
againsthisshoulderbytheforceofthekiss.

Hetastedofsmokeandcoffee,andifhismouthwasn'texpert,itwascertainlyardent.Sheloved

kissinghim.Shecurledherarmsaroundhisneckandturnedalittlemore,hesitatingwhenshefeltthe
suddenstarkarousalofhisbody.

Hereyesopened,lookingstraightintohis,andshecolored.

"I'msorry,"hemurmured,startingtoshifther,asifhisphysicalreactiontoherembarrassedhim.

"No,Quinn,"shesaid,resistinggently,holdinghisgazeassherelaxedintohim,shiveringalittle.

"There'snothingtoapologizefor.I...likeknowingyouwantme,"shewhispered,loweringhereyes
tohismouth."Itjusttakesalittlegettingusedto.I'veneverletanyoneholdmelikethis."

Hischestswelledwiththatconfession.Hischeekrestedonherhairashesettledintothechairand
relaxedhimself,takingherweighteasily."I'mgladaboutthat,"hesaid."Butitisn'tjustphysicalwith
me.Iwantedyoutoknow."

Shesmiledagainsthisshoulder."Itisn'tjustphysicalwithme,either."Shetouchedhishardface,

herfingersmovingoverhismouth,lovingthefeelofit,thesmellofhisbody,thewarmthand
strengthofit."Isn'titincredible?"Shelaughedsoftly."Imean,atourages,tobesogreen..."

Helaughed,too.Itwouldhavestungtohaveheardthatfromanyotherwoman,butAmandawas

different."I'venevermindedlessbeinginexperienced,"hemurmured.

"Oh,neitherhaveI."Shesighedcontentedly.Hisbighandsmoothedoverhershoulderanddown

herbacktoherwaistandontoherribcage.Hewantedverymuchtorunitoverhersoftbreast,but
thatmightbetoomuchtoosoon,sohehesitated.

Amandasmiledtoherself.Shecaughthisfingersand,liftingherfacetohiseyes,deliberately

pulledthemontoherbreast,herlipspartingatthesensationthatsteelywarmthimparted.Thenipple
hardenedandshecaughtherbreathasQuinn'sthumbrubbedagainstit.

"Haveyoueverseenawoman...withouthertopon?"shewhispered,herlonghairgloriously

tangledaroundherfaceandshoulders.

"No,"herepliedsoftly."Onlyinpictures."Hisdarkeyeswatchedthesoftnesshisfingerswere

tracing."Iwanttoseeyouthatway.Iwanttotouchyourskin...likethis."

Shedrewhishandtothebuttonsofherblouseandlayquietlyagainsthim,watchinghishardfaceas
heloosenedthebuttonsandpulledthefabricaside.Thebraseemedtofascinatehim.Hefrowned,
tryingtodecidehowitopened.

"It'safrontcatch,"shewhispered.Sheshiftedalittle,andfoundthecatch.Herfingerstrembledas

sheloosenedit.Then,watchinghim,shecarefullypeeleditawayfromthehigh,tautthrobofher
breastsandwatchedhimcatchhisbreath.

"MyGod,"hebreathedreverently.Hetouchedherwithtremblingfingers,hiseyesonthedeep

mauveofhernipplesagainstthesoftpinkthrustofflesh,hisbodytautwithsuddenachinglonging.
"MyGod,I'veneverseenanythingsobeautiful."

Hemadeherfeelincrediblyfeminine.Sheclosedhereyesandarchedbackagainsthisencircling

arm,moaningsoftly.

"Kissme...there,"shewhisperedhuskily,achingforhismouth.

"Amanda..."Hebent,delightinginherfemininity,theobviousraptfascinationofthefirsttimein

heractionssothatevenifhehadn'tsuspectedherinnocencehewouldhavenow.Hislipsbrushedover
thesilkyflesh,andhishandsliftedhertohim,archedherevenmore.Shetastedofflowerpetals,
softlytremblingunderhiswarm,ardentmouth,herbreathjerkingpastherpartedlipsasshelaywith
hereyesclosed,lostinhim.

"It'ssosweet,Quinn,"shewhisperedbrokenly.

Hislipsbrushedupherbodytoherthroat,herchin,andthentheylockedagainsthermouth.He
turnedherslowly,sothathersoftbreastslayagainstthemutedthunderofhishair-roughenedchest.
Hefelthershiverbeforeherarmsslidaroundhisneckandshedeliberatelypressedcloser,drawing
herselfagainsthimandmoaning.

"AmIhurtingyou?"heaskedhuskily,hismouthpoisedjustabovehers,afainttremorinhisarms.

"Amanda,amIhurtingyou?"

"No."Sheopenedhereyesandtheywerelikeblackpools,softanddeepandquiet.Withherblond
hairwavingathertemples,hercheeks,hershoulders,shewassobeautifulthatQuinn'sbreathcaught.

Hesatjustlookingather,indulginghishungerforthesightofhersoftbreasts,herlovelyface.She

layquietlyinhisarmswithoutaprotest,barelybreathingasthespellworkedonthem.

"I'llliveonthistherestofmylife,"hesaidroughly,hisvoicedeepandsoftintheroom,withonly

anoccasionalcracklefromtheburningfireinthepotbelliedstovetobreakthesilence.

"SowillI,"shewhispered.Shereacheduptohisface,touchingitinsilence,adoringitsstrength."We
shouldn'thavedonethis,"shesaidmiserably."Itwillmakeit...somuchmoredifficult,whenIhave
toleave.Thethaw...!"

Hisfingerspressedagainstherlips."Onedayatatime,"hesaid."Evenifyouleave,youaren'tgetting
awayfrommecompletely.Iwon'tletgo.Notever."

Tearsstunghereyes.ThesurplusofemotionsentthemstreamingdownhercheeksandQuinn

caughthisbreath,brushingthemawaywithhislongfingers.

"Why?"hewhispered.

"Nobodyeverwantedtokeepmebefore,"sheexplainedwithawaterysmile."I'vealwaysfeltlike

anextrapersonintheworld."

Hefoundthathardtoimagine,asbeautifulasshewas.Perhapsherreticencemadeheroflessvalueto
sophisticatedmen,butnottohim.Hefoundherapearlbeyondprice.

"You'renotanextrapersoninmyworld,"hereplied."Youfit."

Shesighedandnuzzledagainsthim,closinghereyesasshedrankintheexquisitepleasureofskin

againstskin,feelinghisheartbeatagainstherbreasts.Sheshivered.

"Areyoucold?"heasked.

"No.It's...sowonderful,feelingyoulikethis,"shewhispered."Quinn?"

Heeasedherbackinhisarmandwatchedher,understandingasshedidn'tseemtounderstandwhat
waswrong.

Hisbig,warmhandcoveredherbreast,gentlycaressingit."It'sdesire,"hewhisperedsoftly."You
wantme."

"Yes,"shewhispered.

"Youcan'thaveme.Notlikethis.Notinanyhonorableway."Hesighedheavilyandliftedher

againsthimtoholdher,veryhard."Nowholdon,realtight.Itwillpass."

Sheshiveredhelplessly,drowninginthewarmthofhisbody,initsheatagainstherbreasts.Buthe

wasright.Slowlytheachebegantoeaseawayandherbodystilledwithahugesigh.

"Howdoyouknowsomuchwhenyou've...whenyou'venever...?"

"Itoldyou,Ireadabook.Severalbooks."Hechuckled,thelaughterripplingoverhersensitive

breasts."But,myGod,readingwasneverlikethis!"

Shelaughed,too,andimpishlybithisshoulderrightthroughthecloth.

Thenheshivered."Don't,"hesaidhuskily.

Sheliftedherhead,fascinatedbytheexpressiononhisface."Doyoulikeit?"sheaskedhesitantly.

"Yes,Ilikeit,"hesaidwitharuefulsmile."Alltoomuch."Hegazeddownatherbarenessandhis

eyesdarkened."Ilikelookingatyourbreasts,too,butIthinkwe'dbetterstopthiswhilewecan."

Hetuggedthebrabackaroundherwithagrimaceandhookedthecomplicatedcatch.Hedeftly
buttonedherblouseuptoherthroat,hiseyestwinklingastheymethers.

"Disappointed?"hemurmured."SoamI.Ihavethesedreamseverynightofpillowingyouonyour

delicioushairwhilewemakeloveuntilyoucryout."

Shecouldpicturethat,too,andherbreathlodgedinherthroatasshesearchedhisdarkeyes.His

body,bareandmovingsoftlyoverhersonwhitesheets,hisfaceaboveher...

Shemoaned.

"Oh,Iwantit,too,"hewhispered,touchinghismouthwithexquisitetendernesstohers."Youinmy

bed,yourarmsaroundme,themattressmovingunderus."Heliftedhishead,breathingunsteadily."I
mighthavetohurtyoualittleatfirst,"hesaidgruffly."Youunderstand?"

"Yes."Shesmoothedhisshirt,absentlydrawingitbacktogetherandfasteningthebuttonswitha

senseofpossession."Butonlyalittle,andIcouldbearitforwhatwouldcomeafterward,"shesaid,
lookingup."Becauseyou'dpleasuremethen."

"MyGod,wouldI,"hewhispered."Pleasureyouuntilyouwereexhausted."Heframedherfacein

hishandsandkissedhergently."Pleasegotobed,Amanda,beforeIdoubleoverandstart
screaming."

Shesmiledagainsthismouthandlethimputheronherfeet.Shelaughedwhensheswayedandhe

hadtocatchher.

"Seewhatyoudotome?"shemused."Makemedizzy."

"Nothalfasdizzyasyoumakeme."Hesmootheddownherlonghair,hiseyesadoringit."Pretty

littlething,"hemurmured.

"I'mgladyoulikeme,"shereplied."I'lldomybesttostaythiswayforthenextfiftyyearsorso,

withafewminorwrinkles."

"You'llbebeautifultomewhenyou'reanoldlady.Goodnight."

Shemovedawayfromhimwithflatteringreluctance,herdarkeyesteasinghis."Areyousureyou
haven'tdonethisbefore?"sheaskedwithanarrowgaze."You'reawfullygoodatitforabeginner."

"Thatmakestwoofus,"hereturneddryly.

Shelikedthewayhelooked,withhishairmussedandhisthinmouthswollenfromherkisses,and

hisshirtdisheveled.Itmadeherfeelanewkindofpridethatshecoulddisarrangehimsonicely.After
onelongglance,sheopenedthedoorandwentout.

"Lockyourdoor,"hewhispered.

Shelaugheddelightedly."No,youlockyoursthewayyoudidtheothernight."

Heshifteduncomfortably."Thatwasalowblow.I'msorry."

"Oh,Iwasflattered,"shecorrected."I'veneverfeltsodangerousinallmylife.IwishIhadoneof

thoselong,blacksilknegligees..."

"Willyougetoutofhere?"heaskedpleasantly."IthinkIdidmentiontheurgetothrowyouonthe

floorandravishyou?"

"WithElliotrightupstairs?Fie,sir,thinkofmyreputation."

"I'mtryingto,ifyou'lljustgotobed!"

"Verywell,ifImust."Shestartedupthestaircase,herblackeyesdancingastheymethis.She

tossedherhairbackandsmiledathim."Goodnight,Quinn."

"Goodnight,Amanda.Sweetdreams."

"They'llbesweetfromnowon,"sheagreed.Sheturnedreluctantlyandwentupthestaircase.He

watchedheruntilshewentintoherroomandclosedthedoor.

Itwasn'tuntilshewasinherownroomthatsherealizedjustwhatshe'ddone.

Shewasn'tsomenicedomesticlittlethingwhocouldfitintoQuinn'sworldwithoutanyeffort.She

wasAmandaCorrieCallaway,whobelongedtoarockgroupwithaworldwidereputation.Onmost
streetsinmostcities,herfacewasinstantlyrecognizable.HowwasQuinngoingtotakethe
knowledgeofwhoshereallywas—andthefactthatshe'ddeceivedhimbyleadinghimtothinkshe
wasjustavacationingkeyboardplayer?Shegroanedassheputonhergown.Itdidn'tbearthinking
about.Fromsweetheaventonightmareinonehourwastoomuch.

ChapterSeven

AmandahardlysleptfromthecombinedshockofQuinn'sardorandherownguilt.Howcouldshe
tellhimthetruthnow?Whatcouldshesaythatwouldtakeawaythestingofherdeceit?

Shedressedinjeansandthesamebutton-uppinkblouseshe'dwornthenightbeforeandwentdownto
breakfast.

Quinnlookedupassheenteredtheroom,hiseyeswarmandquiet.

"Goodmorning,"shesaidbrightly.

"Goodmorningyourself,"Quinnmurmuredwithasmile."Sleepwell?"

"Barelyawink,"shesaid,sighing,herowneyesholdinghis.

Hechuckled,avertinghisgazebeforeElliotbecamesuspicious."Harry'soutfeedingyourcalves,"

hesaid,"andI'monmywayovertoEaglePasstohelponeofmyneighborsfeedsomestranded
cattle.You'llhavetostaywithElliot—it'steacherworkday."

"Iforgot,"Elliotwailed,headinhands."CanyouimaginethatIactuallyforgot?Icouldhaveslept

untilnoon!"

"There,there,"Amandasaid,pattinghisshoulder."Don'tyouwanttolearnsomemorechords?"

"Isthatwhatyoudo?"Quinnaskedcuriously,becausenoweveryscrapofinformationhelearned

aboutherwasprecious."Yousaidyouplayedakeyboardforaliving.Doyouteachmusic?"

"Notreally,"shesaidgently."Iplaybackupforvariousgroups,"sheexplained."Thatrockmusic

youhate..."shebeganuneasily.

"That'sallright,"Quinnreplied,hisfaceopenandkind."Iwasjusttryingtogetariseoutofyou.I

don'tminditallthatmuch,Iguess.Andplayingbackupisn'tthesamethingasputtingonthosegod-
awfulcostumesandsingingsuggestivelyrics.Well,I'mgone.Stayoutoftrouble,youtwo,"hesaidas
hegottohisfeetinthemiddleofAmanda'sinstinctivemovetospeak,tocorrecthisassumptionthat
allshedidwasplaybackup.Shewantedtotellhimthetruth,buthewinkedatherandElliotandgot
intohisoutdoorclothesbeforeshecouldfindawaytobreakthenews.Bythetimehermindwas
workingagain,hewasgone.

Shesatbackdown,sighing."Oh,Elliot,whatamess,"shemurmured,herchininherhands.

"Isthatwhatyoucallit?"heaskedwithawickedsmile."Dad'sactuallygrinning,andwhenhe

lookedatyou,youblushed.I'mnotblind,youknow.Doyoulikehim,evenifheisn'tMr.America?"

"Yes,Ilikehim,"shesaidwithashysmile,loweringhereyes."He'saprettyspecialguy."

"Ithinkso,myself.Eatyourbreakfast.Iwanttoaskyouaboutsomenewchords."

"Okay."

TheywereworkingonthekeyboardwhenthesoundofanapproachingvehiclecaughtAmanda's

attention.Quinnhadn'tdrivenanythingmotorizedsincethesnowhadgottensohigh.

"That'sodd,"Elliotsaid,peeringoutthewindowcurtain."It'safour-wheeldrive...Oh,boy."He

glancedatAmanda."Youaren'tgonnalikethis."

Sheliftedhereyebrows."I'mnot?"sheasked,puzzled.

TheknockatthebackdoorhadHarrymovingtowarditbeforeAmandaandElliotcould.Harry

openeditandlookedupandupandup.HestoodtherestaringwhileElliotgapedatthegrizzly-
lookingmanwholoomedoverhiminablackWesterncostume,completewithhat.

"I'mlookingforMandyCallaway,"heboomed.

"Hank!"

Amandarantothebigmanwithoutthinking,tobeliftedhighintheairwhilehechuckledand

kissedherwarmlyononecheek,hiswhiskersscratching.

"Hello,peanut!"hegrinned."Whatareyoudoinguphere?Theoldtrapperdownthehillsaidyou

hadn'tbeeninDurning'scabinsincetheheavysnowcame."

"Mr.Suttontookmeinandgavemearoofovermyhead.Putmedown,"shefussed,wiggling.

HeputherbackonherfeetwhileHarryandElliotstillgaped.

"ThisisHank,"shesaid,holdinghisenormoushandassheturnedtofacetheothers."He'sagood

friend,andaterrificmusician,andI'dreallyappreciateitifyouwouldn'ttellQuinnhewasherejust
yet.I'lltellhimmyself.Okay?"

"Sure,"Harrymurmured.Heshookhishead."Youforreal,ordoyouhavestiltsinthemboots?"

"IusedtobealinebackerfortheDallasCowboys."Hankgrinned.

"Thatwouldexplainit,"Harrychuckled."Yoursecret'ssafewithme,Amanda."Heexcusedhimself

andwenttodothewashing.

"Me,too,"Elliotsaid,grinning,"aslongasIgetMr.Shoeman'sautographbeforeheleaves."

Amandaletoutalongbreath,hereyesfrightenedastheymetElliot's.

"That'sright,"Elliotsaid."IalreadyknewyouwereMandyCallaway.I'vegotaDesperadotape.I

tookitoutofDad'sdrawerandhiditassoonasIrecognizedyou.You'lltellhimwhenthetime's
right.Won'tyou?"

"Yes,Iwill,Elliot,"sheagreed."I'dhavedoneitalreadyexceptthat...well,thingshavegottena

littlecomplicated."

"Youcansaythatagain."Elliotledthewayintothelivingroom,watchingHanksitgingerlyona

sofathathedwarfed."I'lljustgomakesurethattape'shidden,"hesaid,leavingthemalone.

"Complicated,huh?"Hanksaid."IhearthisSuttonman'sarealwomanhater."

"Hewasuntiljustrecently."Shefoldedherhandsinherlap."Andhedoesn'tapproveofrock

music."Shesighedandchangedthesubject."What'sup,Hank?"

"We'vegotagigatLarry'sLodge,"hesaid."Iknow,youdon'twantto.Listenforaminute.It'sto

benefitcysticfibrosis,andalotofotherstarsaregoingtobeintownforit,includingafewpretty
well-knownsingers."HenamedsomeofthemandAmandawhistled."SeewhatImean?It'sstrictly
charity,orIwouldn'thavecomeupherebotheringyou.TheboysandIwanttodoit."Hisdarkeyes
narrowed."Areyouuptoit?"

"Idon'tknow.Itriedtosinghereacoupleoftimes,andmyvoiceseemstobegoodenough.No

morelapses.Butinfrontofacrowd..."Shespreadherhands."Idon'tknow,Hank."

"Here."Hehandedherthreeticketstothebenefit."Youthinkaboutit.Ifyoucan,comeonup.

Suttonmightlikethesingersevenifhedoesn'tcareforourkindofmusic."Hestudiedher."You
haven'ttoldhim,haveyou?"

Sheshookherhead,smilingwistfully."Haven'tfoundtherightwayyet.IfIleaveitmuchlonger,it

maybetoolate."

"Thegirl'sfamilysentyoualetter,"hesaid."Thankingyouforwhatyoutriedtodo.Theysaidyou

wereherheroine...aw,now,Mandy,stopit!"

Shecollapsedintears.Heheldher,rockingher,hisfaceredwithmingledembarrassmentandguilt.

"Mandy,comeon,stopthat,"hemuttered."It'salloveranddonewith.You'vegottogetyourself

together.Youcan'thideouthereintheTetonsfortherestofyourlife."

"Can'tI?"shewailed.

"No,youcan't.Hidingisn'tyourstyle.Youhavetofacethestageagain,oryou'llnevergetoverit."
Hetiltedherwetface."Look,wouldyouwantsomebodyeatinghergutsoutoveryouifyou'dbeen
Wendythatnight?Itwasn'tyourfault,damnit!Itwasn'tanybody'sfault;itwasanaccident,pureand
simple."

"Ifshehadn'tbeenattheconcert..."

"If,if,if,"hesaidcurtly."Youcan'tgobackandchangethingstosuityou.Itwashertime.Atthe

concert,onaplane,inacar,however,itwouldstillhavebeenhertime.Areyoulisteningtome,
Mandy?"

Shedabbedhereyeswiththehemofherblouse."Yes,I'mlistening."

"Comeon,girl.Buckup.Youcangetoverthisifyousetyourmindtoit.Meandtheguysmiss

you,Mandy.It'snotthesamewithjustthefourofus.Peoplearescaredofuswhenyouaren'taround."

Thatmadehersmile."Iguesstheyare.Youdolookscruffy,Hank,"shemurmured.

"YououghttoseeJohnson."Hesighed."He'slethisbeardgoandhelookslikeascrubbrush.And

Dekesayshewon'tchangeclothesuntilyoucomeback."

"Oh,myGod,"Amandasaid,shuddering,"tellhimI'llthinkhardaboutthisconcert,okay?You

poorguys.Stayupwindofhim."

"We'retrying."Hegotup,smilingdownather."Everything'sokay.Youcanseetheletterwhenyou

cometothelodge.It'srealnice.Nowstopbeatingyourself.Nobodyelseblamesyou.Afterall,babe,
youriskedyourlifetryingtosaveher.Nobody'sforgottenthat,either."

Sheleanedagainsthimforaminute,drawingonhisstrength."Thanks,Hank."

"Anytime.Hey,kid,youstillwantthatautograph?"heasked.

Elliotcamebackintotheroomwithapadandpen."DoI!"hesaid,chuckling.

HankscribbledhisnameandDesperado'scurly-Qlogounderneath."Thereyougo."

"He'sabuddingmusician,"Amandasaid,puttinganarmaroundElliot."I'mteachinghimthe

keyboard.Oneofthesedays,ifwecangetaroundQuinn,we'llhavehimplayingbackupforme."

"Youbet."Hankchuckled,andruffledElliot'sredhair."Keepatit.Mandy'stheverybest.Ifshe

teachesyou,you'retaught."

"Thanks,Mr.Shoeman."

"JustHank.Seeyouattheconcert.Solong,Mandy.""Solong,pal."

"Whatconcert?"ElliotaskedexcitedlywhenHankhaddrivenaway.

Amandahandedhimthethreetickets."ToabenefitinJacksonHole.Thegroup'sgoingtoplay

there.Maybe.IfIcangetupenoughnervetogetbackonstageagain."

"Whathappened,Amanda?"heaskedgently.

Shesearchedhisface,seeingcompassionalongwiththecuriosity,soshetoldhim,fightingtearsall
theway.

"Gosh,nowonderyoucameupheretogetaway,"Elliotsaidwithmorethanhistwelveyearsworth

ofwisdom.Heshrugged."Butlikehesaid,youhavetogobacksomeday.Thelongeryouwait,the
harderit'sgoingtobe."

"Iknowthat,"shegroaned."ButElliot,I..."Shetookadeepbreathandlookeddownatthefloor."I

loveyourfather,"shesaid,admittingitatlast."Ilovehimverymuch,andtheminutehefindsoutwho
Iam,mylifeisover."

"Maybenot,"hesaid."You'vegotanotherweekuntiltheconcert.Surelyinallthattimeyoucan

managetotellhimthetruth.Can'tyou?"

"Ihopeso,"shesaidwithasadsmile."Youdon'tmindwhoIam,doyou?"sheaskedworriedly.

"Don'tbesilly."Hehuggedherwarmly."Ithinkyou'resuper,keyboardornot."

Shelaughedandhuggedhimback."Well,that'shalfthebattle."

"Justoutofcuriosity,"Harryaskedfromthedoor-way,"whowasthebeardedgiant?"

"ThatwasHankShoeman,"Elliottoldhim."He'sthedrummerforDesperado.It'sarockgroup.

AndAmanda—"

"—playsbackupforhim,"shevolunteered,afraidtogivetoomuchawaytoHarry.

"Well,I'llbe.He'samusician?"Harryshookhishead."Wouldhavetookhimforabankrobber,"he

mumbled.

"Mostpeopledo,andyoushouldseetherestofthegroup."Shegrinned."Don'tgivemeaway,

Harry,okay?IpromiseI'lltellQuinn,butI'vegottodoittherightway."

"Icanseethat,"heagreedeasily."Besomethingofashocktohimtomeetyourfriendafterdark,I

imagine."

"Iimagineso,"shesaid,chuckling."Thanks,Harry."

"Mypleasure.Desperado,huh?Suitsit,iftherestofthegrouplookslikehedoes."

"Worse,"shesaid,andshuddered.

"Strainsthemind,don'tit?"HarrywentoffintothekitchenandAmandagotupafteraminuteto

helphimgetlunch.

Quinnwasn'tbackuntillatethatafternoon.NobodymentionedHank'svisit,butAmandawasnervous
andhermannerwasstrainedasshetriednottoshowherfears.

"What'swrongwithyou?"heaskedgentlyduringalullintheeveningwhileElliotdidhomework

andHarrywashedup."Youdon'tseemlikeyourselftonight."

Shemovedclosetohim,herfingersidlytouchingthesleeveofhisredflannelshirt."It'sthawing
outside,"shesaid,watchingherfingersmoveonthefabric."Itwon'tbelongbeforeI'llbegone."

Hesighedheavily.Hisfingerscapturedhersandheldthem."I'vebeenthinkingaboutthat.Doyou
reallyhavetogetback?"

Shefeltherheartjump.Whateverhewasoffering,shewantedtosayyesandletthefuturetakecareof
itself.Butshecouldn't.Shegrimaced."Yes,Ihavetogetback,"shesaidmiserably."Ihave
commitmentstopeople.ThingsIpromisedtodo."Herfingersclenchedhis."Quinn,Ihavetomeet
somepeopleatLarry'sLodgeinJacksonHolenextFridaynight."Shelookedup."It'sataconcertand
Ihavetickets.Iknowyoudon'tlikerock,butthere'sgoingtobeallkindsofmusic."Hereyes
searchedhis."Wouldyougowithme?Elliotcancome,too.I...wantyoutoseewhatIdofora
living."

"Youandyourkeyboard?"hemusedgently.

"Sortof,"sheagreed,hopingshecouldfindthenervetotellhimeverythingbeforenextFriday

night.

"Okay,"hereplied."Afriendofmineworksthere—IusedtobewiththeSkiPatrolthere,too.Sure,

I'llgowithyou."Thesmilevanished,andhiseyesglittereddownather."I'llgodamnednear
anywherewithyou."

Amandaslidherarmsaroundhimandpressedclose,shuttinghereyesassheheldonfordearlife.
"Thatgoesdoubleforme,mountainman,"shesaidhalfunderherbreath.

Hebenthishead,searchingforhersoftmouth.Shegaveittohimwithoutaprotest,withoutathought
forthefuture,gaveittohimwithinterest,withdevotion,withardor.Herlipsopenedinvitingly,and
shefelthishandsonherhipswithasenseofsweetinevitability,liftingherintointimatecontactwith
thearousedcontoursofhisbody.

"Frightened?"hewhisperedunsteadilyjustoverhermouthwhenhefeltherstiffeninvoluntarily.

"Ofyou?"shewhisperedback."Don'tbeabsurd.Holdmeanywayyouwant.Iadoreyou...!"

Heactuallygroanedashismouthpresseddownhardonhers.Hisarmscontractedhungrilyandhe
gaveintothepleasureofpossessionforonelongmoment.

Hereyesopenedandshewatchedhim,feedingontheslightcontortionofhisfeatures,hisheavy

browsdrawnoverhiscrookednose,hislong,thicklashesonhischeekashekissedher.Shedid
adorehim,shethoughtdizzily.Adoredhim,lovedhim,worshipedhim.Ifonlyshecouldstaywith
himforeverlikethis.

Quinnliftedhisheadandpausedashesawherwatchinghim.Hefrownedslightly,thenbentagain.

Thistimehiseyesstayedopen,too,andshewentunderashedeepenedthekiss.Hereyesclosedin
self-defenseandshemoaned,lettinghimseethesamevulnerabilityshe'dseeninhim.Itwas
breathlesslysweet.

"Thisisaneducation,"hesaid,laughinghuskily,whenhedrewslightlyawayfromher.

"Isn'tit,though?"shemurmured,movinghishandsfromherhipsuptoherwaistandmovingback

astepfromtheblatanturgencyofhisbody."ElliotandHarrymightcomein,"shewhispered.

"Iwouldn'tmind,"hesaidunexpectedly,searchingherflushedface."I'mnotashamedofwhatIfeel

foryou,orembarrassedbyit."

"Thisfromaconfirmedwomanhater?"sheaskedwithtwinklingeyes.

"Well,notexactlyconfirmedanymore,"heconfessed.Heliftedherbythewaistandsearchedher

eyesatpoint-blankrangeuntilshetrembledfromtheintensityofthelook."Icouldn'thateyouifI
tried,Amanda,"hesaidquietly.

"Oh,Ihopenot,"shesaidfervently,thinkingaheadtowhenshewouldhavetotellhimthetruth

aboutherself.

Hebrushedalazykissacrossherlips."IthinkI'mgettingthehangofthis,"hemurmured.

"Ithinkyouare,too,"shewhispered.Sheslidherarmsaroundhisneckandputherwarmmouth

hungrilyagainsthis,sighingwhenhecaughtfireandansweredthekisswithfeverishabandon.

Aslight,deliberatecoughbroughtthemapart,bothstaringblanklyatthesmallredheadedintruder.

"NotthatImind,"Elliotsaid,grinning,"butyou'reblockingthepanofbrowniesHarrymade."

"Youcanthinkofbrowniesatatimelikethis?"Amandagroaned.''Elliot!''

"Listen,hecanthinkofbrownieswithafeverofahundredandtwo,"Quinntoldher,stillholding

heronalevelwithhiseyes."I'veseenhimgetoutofasickbedtopinchabrowniefromthekitchen."

"Ilikebrownies,too,"Amandaconfessedwithawarmsmile,delightedthatQuinndidn'tseemto

mindatallthatElliothadseentheminacompromisingposition.Thatmadeherfeellighterthanair.

"Doyou?"Quinnsmiledandbrushedhismouthgentlyagainsthers,mindlessofElliot'sblatant

interest,beforeheputherbackonherfeet."Harrymakeshisfromscratch,withrealbaker's
chocolate.They'resomethingspecial."

"I'llbettheyare.Here.I'llgetthesaucers,"shevolunteered,stillcatchingherbreath.

Elliotlookedlikethecatwiththecanaryasshedishedupbrownies.Itveryobviouslydidn'tbother

himthatAmandaandhisdadwerebeginningtonoticeeachother.

"Isn'tthiscozy?"heremarkedastheywentbackintothelivingroomandAmandacurleduponthe

sofabesidehisdad,whoneversatthere.

"Cozy,indeed,"QuinnmurmuredwithawarmsmileforAmanda.

ShesmiledbackandlaidhercheekagainstQuinn'sbroadchestwhiletheywatchedtelevisionand

atebrownies.Shedidn'tmoveevenwhenHarryjoinedthem.Andsheknewshe'dneverbeencloserto
heaven.

Thatnighttheywereleftdiscreetlyalone,andshelayinQuinn'sstrongarmsonthelongleather

couchinhisofficewhilewoodburnedwithoccasionalhissesandsparksinthepotbelliedstove.

"I'vehadarawdealwiththisplace,"hesaideventuallybetweenkisses."Butit'sgoodland,andI'm

buildingarespectableherdofcattle.Ican'tofferyouwealthorposition,andwe'vegotaready-made
family.ButIcantakecareofyou,"hesaidsolemnly,lookingdownintohersofteyes."Andyouwon't
wantforanyoftheessentials."

Herfingerstouchedhisleancheekhesitantly."Youdon'tknowanythingaboutme,"shesaid."When

youknowmybackground,youmaynotwantmeasmuchasyouthinkyoudo."Sheputherfingers
againsthismouth."Youhavetobesure."

"Damnit,I'malreadysure,"hemuttered.

Butwashe?Shewasthefirstwomanhe'deverbeenintimatewith.Couldn'tthatblindhimtoher

realsuitability?Whatifitwasjustinfatuationordesire?Shewasafraidtotakeachanceonhis
feelings,whenshedidn'treallyknowwhattheywere.

"Let'swaitjustalittlewhilelongerbeforewemakeanyplans,Quinn.Okay?"sheaskedsoftly,

turninginhishardarmssothatherbodywaslyingagainsthis."Makelovetome,"shewhispered,
movinghermouthuptohis."Please..."

Hegaveinwitharoughgroan,gatheringhertohim,crushingheragainsthisarousedbody.He

wantedherbeyondrationalthought.Maybeshehadcoldfeet,buthedidn't.Heknewwhathewanted,
andAmandawasit.

Hishandssmoothedtheblouseandbraawaywithgrowingexpertiseandhefoughtoutofhisshirtso
thathecouldfeelhersoftskinagainsthis.Butitwasn'tenough.Hefelthertrembleandknewthatit
wasreflectedinhisownarmsandlegs.Hemovedagainstherwithanewkindofsensuousness,lifting
hisheadtoholdhereyeswhileheleveredherontoherbackandeasedoverher,hislegsbetweenboth
ofhersintheirfirstrealintimacy.

Shecaughtherbreath,butshedidn'tpushhimtotrytogetaway.

"It'sjustthatnewforyou,isn'tit?"hewhisperedhuskilyashishipsmovedlazilyoverhersandhe

groaned."God,itburnsmeto...feelyoulikethis."

"Iknow."Shearchedherback,lovinghisweight,lovingthefiercemalenessofhisbody.Herarms

slidcloseraroundhimandshefelthismouthopenonhers,histonguesoftlysearchingasitslid

inside,intoanintimacythatmadehermoan.Shebegantotremble.

Hisleanhandslidunderher,gettingafirmgrip,andhebroughthersuddenlyintoashocking,

shatteringpositionthatmadehermindlesswithsuddenneed.Sheclutchedhimdesperately,
shuddering,hernailsdiggingintohimasthecontactrackedherlikeajoltofrawelectricity.

Hepulledawayfromherwithoutaword,shudderingashelayonhisback,tryingtogetholdof
himself.

"I'msorry,"hewhispered."Ididn'tmeantoletitgosofarwithus."

Shewastrembling,too,tryingtobreathewhilegreathottearsrolleddownhercheeks."Gosh,I

wantedyou,"shewhisperedtearfully."Wantedyousobadly,Quinn!"

"AsbadlyasIwantedyou,honey,"hesaidheavily."Wecan'tletthingsgetthathotagain.Itwasa

closecall.Closerthanyourealize."

"Oh,Quinn,couldn'twemakelove?"sheaskedsoftly,rollingovertolookdownintohis

tormentedface."Justonce...?"

Heframedhisfaceinhishandsandbroughtherclosedeyestohislips."No.Iwon'tcompromise
you."

Shehithisbig,hair-roughenedchest."GoodyTwoShoes...!"

"ThankyourluckystarsthatIam,"hechuckled.Hiseyesdroppedtoherbarebreastsandlingered

therebeforehecaughttheedgesofherblouseandtuggedthemtogether."Yousex-crazedfemale,
haven'tyoueverheardaboutpregnancy?"

"ThatconditionwhereIgettohavelittleQuinns?"

"Stopit,you'remakingitimpossibleforme,"hesaidhuskily."Here,getupbeforeIlosemy

mind."

Shesatupwithagrimace."Spoilsport."

"Listentoyou,"hemuttered,puttingherbackintoherclotheswithawrygrin."I'llgiveyoutento

onethatyou'dbeyellingyourheadoffifIstartedtakingoffyourjeans."

Shewentred."Myjeans...!"

Hiseyebrowsarched."Amanda,wouldyoulikemetoexplainthatbookIreadtoyou?Thepart

abouthowmenandwomen..."

Sheclearedherthroat."No,thanks,IthinkI'vegotthehangofitnow,"shemurmuredevasively.

"Wemightaswelladdawordaboutbirthcontrol,"headdedwithachucklewhenhewasbuttoning

uphisownshirt."Youdon'ttakethepill,Iassume?"

Sheshookherhead.Thewholethingwasgettingtobereallyembarrassing!

"Well,thatleavespreventionuptome,"heexplained."Andthatwouldmeanatripintotowntothe

drug-store,sinceIneverindulged,Ineverneededtoworryaboutprevention.Nowdoyougetthe
picture?"

"Boy,doIgetthepicture."Shegrimaced,avoidinghisknowinggaze.

"Goodgirl.That'swhywearen'tlyingdownanymore."

Shesighedloudly."Iguessyoudon'twantchildren."

"SureIdo.Elliotwouldlovebrothersandsisters,andI'mcrazyaboutkids."Hetookherslender

handsinhisandsmoothedthemoverwithhisthumbs."Butkidsshouldbeborninsidemarriage,not
outsideit.Don'tyouthinkso?"

Shetookadeepbreath,andherdarkeyesmethis."Yes."

"Thenwe'llspendalotoftimetogetheruntilyouhavetomeetyourfriendsatthisconcert,"hesaid

softly,"Andafterward,youandIwillcomeinhereagainandI'llaskyouaquestion."

"Oh,Quinn,"shewhisperedwithachingsoftness.

"Oh,Amanda,"hemurmured,smilingashislipssoftlytouchedhers."Butrightnow,wegotobed.

Separately.Quick!"

"Yes,sir,Mr.Sutton."Shegotupandlethimleadhertothestaircase.

"I'llgetthelights,"hesaid."Yougoonup.InthemorningafterwegetElliotofftoschoolyoucan

comeoutwithme,ifyouwantto."

"Iwantto,"shesaidsimply.Shecouldhardlybear

tobepartedfromhimevenovernight.Itwaslikean
addiction,shethoughtasshewentupthestaircase.
Nowifonlyshecouldmakeitlastuntilshehadthe
nervetotellQuinnthetruth__

Thenextfewdayswentbyinahaze.Thesnowbegantomeltandtheskiesclearedasthelong-

awaitedchinookblewin.InnotimeatallitwasFridaynightandAmandawasgettingintowhatElliot
wouldrecognizeasherstagecostume.She'dbroughtit,withherotherthings,fromtheDurning
cabin.Sheputiton,staringatherselfinthemirror.Herhairhunglongandloose,insoftwaves
belowherwaist,inthebeigeleatherdresswiththebuckskinbootsthatmatched,shewasthevery
pictureofasensuouswoman.Sheleftofftheheadband.Therewouldbetimeforthatifshecould
summonenoughcouragetogetonstage.Shestillhadn'ttoldQuinn.Shehadn'thadtheheartto
destroythedreamshe'dbeenliving.Buttonighthe'dknow.Andshe'dknowiftheyhadafuture.She
tookadeepbreathandwentdownstairs.

ChapterEight

Amanda

satintheaudiencewithQuinnandElliotatafartablewhilethecrowdedhallrangwith

excitedwhispers.Elliotwastense,likeAmanda,hiseyesdartingaroundnervously.Quinnwas
frowning.Hehadn'tbeenquitehimselfsinceAmandacamedownthestaircaseinherleatherdressand
boots,lookingexpensiveandfaintlyalien.Hehadn'taskedanyquestions,butheseemedasuptightas
shefelt.

Hereyesslidoverhimlovingly,takinginhisdarksuit.Helookedoutofplaceinfancyclothes.She
missedthesightofhimindenimandhisoldshepherd'scoat,andwonderedfleetinglyifshe'dever
gettoseehimthatwayagainaftertonight—ifshe'deverlieinhisarmsonthebigsofaandwarmto
hiskisseswhilethefireburnedinthestove.Shealmostgroaned.Oh,Quinn,shethought,Iloveyou.

Elliotlookeduncomfortableinhisbluesuit.HewaswatchingfortherestofDesperadowhilea

well-known

LasVegasentertainerwarmedupthecrowdandsanghisownfamousthemesong.

"Whatareyoulookingfor,son?"Quinnasked.

Elliotshifted."Nothing.I'mjustseeingwhoIknow."

Quinn'seyebrowsarched."Howwouldyouknowanybodyinthiscrowd?"hemuttered,glancing

around."MyGod,theseareshowpeople.Entertainers.Notpeoplefromourworld."

Thatwasafact.ButhearingitmadeAmandaheartsick.Shereachedoutandputherhandover

Quinn's.

"Yourfingersarelikeice,"hesaidsoftly.Hesearchedherworriedeyes."Areyouokay,honey?"

Theendearmentmadeherwarmallover.Shesmiledsadlyandslidherfingersintohis,looking

downatthecontrastbetweenhiscallused,work-hardenedhandandhersoft,paleone.Hiswasa
stronghand,herswasartistic.Butdespitethedifferences,theyfittogetherperfectly.Shesqueezedher
fingers."I'mfine,"shesaid."Quinn..."

"AndnowIwanttointroduceafamiliarface,"theLasVegasperformer'svoiceboomed."Mostof
youknowthegeniusofDesperado.Thegrouphaswoncountlessawardsforitstopical,hard-hitting
songs.Lastyear,DesperadowasgivenaGrammyfor'ChangesintheWind,'andHankShoeman's
song'OutlawLove'wonhimacountrymusicawardandagoldrecord.Buttheirfameisn'tthereason
we'rehonoringthemtonight."

ToAmanda'ssurprise,heproducedagoldplaque."Assomeofyoumayremember,alittleovera

monthago,ateenagegirldiedataDesperadoconcert.Thegroup'sleadsingerleapedintothecrowd,
disregardingherownsafety,andwasverynearlytrampledtryingtoprotectthefan.Becauseofthat
tragedy,Desperadowentintoseclusion.We'reproudtotellyoutonightthatthey'rebackandthey'rein
betterformthanever.Thisplaqueisatokenofrespectfromtherestofusintheperformingartstoa
veryspecialyoungwomanwhosecompassionandselflessnesshavewontherespectofall."

HelookedouttowardtheaudiencewhereAmandasatfrozen."Thisisforyou—AmandaCorrie
Callaway.Willyoucomeupandjointhegroup,please?Comeon,Mandy!"

Shebitherlowerlip.Theplaquewasashock.Theboysseemedtoknowaboutit,too,becausethey
wenttotheirinstrumentsgrinningandbegantoplaythedownbeatthatDesperadowasknownfor,the
deepthrobbingcounterrhythmthatwastheirtrademark.

"Comeon,babe!"Hankcalledoutinhisboomingvoice,heandJohnsonandDekeandJack

lookingmuchmorelikebackwoodsrobbersthanmusicianswiththeirhugebulkandoutlawgear.

AmandaglancedatElliot'srapt,adoringface,andthenlookedatQuinn.Hewasfrowning,hisdark

eyessearchingthecrowd.Shesaidasilentgoodbyeasshegottoherfeet.Shereachedintoherpocket
forherheadbandandputitonherhead.Shecouldn'tlookathim,butshefelthisshockedstareasshe
walkeddowntheroomtowardthestage,herstepsbouncingastherhythmgotintoherfeetandher
blood.

"Thankyou,"shesaidhuskily,kissingtheentertainer'scheekassheacceptedtheplaque.Shemoved

inbetweenJohnsonandDeke,takingthemicrophone.ShelookedpastElliot'sproud,adoringfaceto
Quinn's.Heseemedtobeinastateofdarkshock.

"Thankyouall.I'vehadahardfewweeks.ButI'mokaynow,andI'mlookingforwardtobetter

times.Godbless,people.Thisoneisforaspecialmanandaspecialboy,withallmylove."She
turnedtoHank,nodded,andhebeganthethrobbingdrumbeatof"LoveSinger."

Itwasasongthattouchedtheheart,forallitsmadbeat.Thewords,inhersoft,sultry,clearvoice
caughteveryearintheroom.Shesangfromtheheart,withtheheart,thewordsfiercewithmeaning
asshesangthemtoQuinn."Loveyou,neverlovedanybodybutyou,neverleavemelonely,love...
singer."

ButQuinndidn'tseemtobelisteningtothewords.HegottohisfeetandjerkedElliottohis.He

walkedoutinthemiddleofthesongandneverlookedbackonce.

Amandamanagedtofinish,witheveryounceofwillpowershehadkeepingheronstage.Sheletthe

lastfewnoteshangintheairandthenshebowedtoastandingovation.Bythetimesheandtheband
didanencoreandshegotoutofthehall,thetruckthey'dcomeinwaslonggone.Therewasnonote,
nomessage.Quinnhadsaiditallwithhiseloquentbackwhenhewalkedoutofthehall.Heknewwho
shewasnow,andhewantednopartofher.Hecouldn'thavesaiditmoreclearlyifhe'dwrittenitin
blood.

Shekepthopingthathemightreconsider.Evenaftershewentbackstagewiththeboys,shekept

hopingforaphonecalloraglimpseofQuinn.Butnothinghappened.

"IguessI'mgoingtoneedaplacetostay,"Amandasaidwitharuefulsmile,herexpressiontelling

hergroupalltheyneededtoknow.

"Hecouldn'thandleit,huh?"Hankaskedquietly."I'msorry,babe.We'vegotasuite,there'splenty

ofroomforonemore.I'llgoupandgetyourgeartomorrow."

"Thanks,Hank."Shetookadeepbreathandclutchedtheplaquetoherchest."Where'sthenext

gig?"

"That'smygirl,"hesaidgently,slidingaprotectivearmaroundher."SanFrancisco'sournextstop.

TheboysandIaretakingalatebustomorrow."Hegrimacedatherknowingsmile."Well,youknow
howIfeelaboutairplanes."

"ChickenLittle,"sheaccused."Well,I'mnotgoingtositonabusallday.I'lltakethefirstcharter

outandmeetyouguysatthehotel."

"Whateverturnsyouon,"Hankchuckled."Comeon.Let'sgetoutofhereandgetsomerest."

"Youdidgood,Amanda,"Johnsonsaidfrombehindher."Wewereproud."

"Youbet,"DekeandJackseconded.

Shesmiledatthemall."Thanks,group.Ishockedmyself,butatleastIdidn'tgodrythewayIdidlast
time."Herheartwasbreakingintwo,butshemanagedtohideit.Quinn,shemoanedinwardly.Oh,
Quinn,wasIjustaninterlude,aninfatuation?

Shedidn'tsleepverymuch.ThenextmorningAmandawatchedHankstartoutforRicochetthenwent
downtoabreakfastthatshedidn'teveneatwhileshewaitedforhimtoreturn.

Hecamebackthreehourslater,lookingruffled.

"Didyougetmythings?"sheaskedwhenhecameintothesuite.

"Igotthem."Heputhersuitcasedownonthefloor."PartatSutton'splace,partattheDurningcabin.
Elliotsentyouanote."Heproducedit.

"And...Quinn?"

"Ineversawhim,"herepliedtersely."Theboyandtheoldmanwerethere.Theydidn'tmention

SuttonandIdidn'task.Iwasn'tfeelingtookeenonhimatthetime."

"Thanks,Hank."

Heshrugged."That'sthebreaks,kid.Itwouldhavebeenaroughcombinationatbest.You'rea

bright-lightsgirl."

"AmI?"sheasked,thinkinghoweasilyshe'dfitintoQuinn'sworld.Butshedidn'tpushit.Shesat

downonthecouchandopenedElliot'sscribblednote.

Amanda,

Ithoughtyouweregreat.Daddidn'tsayanythingallthewayhomeandlastnighthewentintohis
studyanddidn'tcomeoutuntilthismorning.Hewenthunting,hesaid,buthedidn'ttakeany
bullets.Ihopeyouareokay.Writemewhenyoucan.Iloveyou.

Yourfriend,

Elliot.

Shebitherliptokeepfromcrying.DearElliot.Atleasthestillcaredabouther.Butherfallfrom

graceinQuinn'seyeshadbeenfinal,shethoughtbitterly.He'dneverforgiveherfordeceivinghim.
Ormaybeitwasjustthathe'dgottenoverhisbriefinfatuationwithherwhenhefoundoutwhoshe
reallywas.Shedidn'tknowwhattodo.Shecouldn'tremembereverfeelingsomiserable.Tohave
discoveredsomethingthatprecious,onlytoloseitforever.ShefoldedEIliot'sletterandputitintoher
purse.Atleastitwouldbesomethingtorememberfromherbrieftasteofheaven.

Fortherestoftheday,thebandandJerry,theroadmanager,gotthearrangementsmadeforthe

SanFranciscoconcert,andfinaltravelplanswerelaid.TheboysweretoboardtheSanFranciscobus
thenextmorning.Amandawastoflyoutonaspecialaircharterthatspecializedinflightsfor
businessexecutives.They'dmanagedtofitherinatthelastminutewhenacomputer-company
executivehadcanceledhisflight.

"Iwishyou'dcomewithus,"Hanksaidhesitantly."IguessI'moverreactingandall,butIhate

airplanes."

"I'llbefine,"shetoldhimfirmly."Youandtheboyshaveanicetripandstopworryingaboutme.

I'llbefine."

"Ifyousayso,"Hankmumbled.

"Idosayso."Shepattedhimontheshoulder."Trustme."

Heshruggedandleft,buthedidn'tlookanylessworried.Amanda,who'dgottenusedtohismorose

predictions,didn'tpaythemanymind.

Shewenttothesuiteandintoherbedroomearlythatnight.HerfingersdialedthenumberatRicochet.
Shehadtotryonelasttime,shetoldherself.TherewasatleastthehopethatQuinnmightcareenough
tolistentoherexplanation.Shehadtotry.

Thephonerangonce,twice,andsheheldherbreath,butonthethirdringthereceiverwaslifted.

"Sutton,"cameadeepweary-soundingvoice.

Herheartlifted."Oh,Quinn,"sheburstout."Quinn,pleaseletmetrytoexplain—"

"Youdon'thavetoexplainanythingtome,Amanda,"hesaidstiffly."Isawitallonthestage."

"Iknowitlooksbad,"shebegan.

"Youliedtome,"hesaid."Youletmethinkyouwerejustashylittleinnocentwhoplayeda

keyboard,whenyouweresomefancybig-timeentertainerwithacountrywidefollowing."

"Iknewyouwouldn'twantmeifyouknewwhoIwas,"shesaidmiserably.

"YouknewI'dseerightthroughyouifIknew,"hecorrected,hisvoicegrowingangrier."You

playedmeforafool."

"Ididn't!"

"Allofitwasalie.Nothingbutalie!Well,youcangobacktoyourpublic,MissCallaway,and

youroutlawbuddies,andmakesomemorerecordsortapesorwhateverthehelltheyare.Inever
wantedyouinthefirstplaceexceptinbed,soit'snogreatlosstome."Hewasgrimacing,andshe
couldn'tseetheagonyinhiseyesasheforcedthewordsout.Nowthatheknewwhoandwhatshe
was,hedidn'tdarelethimselfweaken.Hehadtomakehergobacktoherownlife,andstayoutofhis.
Hehadnothingtogiveher,nothingthatcouldtaketheplaceoffameandfortuneandtheworldather
feet.He'dneverbeenmoreawareofhisowninadequaciesashehadbeenwhenhe'dseenAmandaon
thatstageandheardtheapplauseoftheaudience.Itrankedastheworstwakingnightmareofhislife,
puttingherforeveroutofhisreach.

"Quinn!"shemoaned."Quinn,youdon'tmeanthat!"

"Imeanit,"hesaidthroughhisteeth.Heclosedhiseyes."Everyword.Don'tcallhereagain,don't

comeby,don'twrite.You'reabadinfluenceonElliotnowthatheknowswhoyouare.Idon'twant
you.You'vewornoutyourwelcomeatRicochet."Hehungupwithoutanotherword.

Amandastaredatthetelephonereceiverasifithadsproutedwings.Slowlysheputitbackinthe

cradlejustastheroomsplinteredintowetcrystalaroundher.

Sheputonhergownmechanicallyandgotintobed,turningoutthebedsidelight.Shelayinthedark
andQuinn'swordsechoedinherheadwithmercilesscoolness.Badinfluence.Don'twantyou.Worn
outyourwelcome.Neverwantedyouanywayexceptinbed.

Shemoanedandburiedherfaceinherpillow.Shedidn'tknowhowshewasgoingtogoon,with
Quinn'scoldcontemptdoggingherfootsteps.Hehatedhernow.Hethoughtshe'dbeenplayinga
game,enjoyingherselfwhileshemadeafooloutofhim.Thetearsburnedhereyes.Howquicklyit
hadallended,howfinally.She'dhopedtokeepintouchwithElliot,butthatwouldn'tbepossible
anymore.ShewasabadinfluenceonElliot,sohewouldn'tbeallowedtocontacther.Shesobbedher
hurtintothecoollinen.Somehow,beingdeniedcontactwithElliotwasthelaststraw.She'dgrownso
fondoftheboyduringthosedaysshe'dspentatRicochet,andhecaredabouther,too.Quinnwas
beingunnecessarilyharsh.Butperhapshewasright,anditwasforthebest.Maybeshecouldlearnto

thinkthatwayeventually.Rightnowshehadaconcerttogetto,asold-outonefromwhattheboys
andJerryhadsaid.Shecouldn'tletthefansdown.

Amandagotupthenextmorning,lookingandfeelingasifitweretheendoftheworld.Theboys

tookhersuitcasedownstairs,notlookingtoocloselyatherfacewithoutmakeup,herlonghair
arrangedinathick,haphazardbun.Shewaswearingadarkpant-suitwithacream-coloredblouse,
andshelookedmiserable.

"We'llseeyouinSanFrancisco,"Jerrytoldherwithasmile."Ihavetogonursemaidthesebig,

toughguys,soyoumakesurethepilotofyourplanehasallhismarbles,okay?"

"I'llcheckhimoutmyself,"shepromised."Takecareofyourselves,guys.I'llseeyouin

California."

"Okay.Begood,babe,"Hankcalled.HeandtheothersfiledintothebusJerryhadcharteredand

Jerryhuggedherimpulsivelyandwentinbehindthem.

Shewatchedthebuspullaway,feelinglostandalone,notforthefirsttime.Itwascoldandsnowy,but
shehadn'twantedhercoat.Itwaspackedinhersuitcase,andhadalreadybeenputonthelightaircraft.
Withalongsigh,shewentbacktothecabandsatdisinterestedlyinitasitwoundoverthesnowy
roadstotheairport.

Fortunatelythechinookhadthawedtherunwayssothattheplaneswerecomingandgoingeasily.She
gotoutattheaircharterservicehangarandshookhandswiththepilot.

"Don'tworry,we'reingreatshape,"hepromisedAmandawithagrin."Infact,themechanicsjust

gaveusanotheronce-overtobesure.Nothingtoworryabout."

"Oh,Iwasn'tworried,"shesaidabsentlyandallowedherselftobeshepherdedinside.Sheslidinto

anemptyaisleseatontherightsideandbuckledup.Usuallyshepreferredtositbythewindow,but
todayshewasn'tinthemoodforsight-seeing.Onesnow-coveredmountainlookedprettymuchlike
anothertoher,andherheartwasn'tinthisflightorthegigthatwouldfollowit.Sheleanedbackand
closedhereyes.

Itseemedtotakeforeverforallthebusinessmentogetaboard.Fortunatelytherehadbeenone

morecancellation,soshehadherseatandthewindowseataswell.Shedidn'tfeelliketalkingto
anyone,andwashopingshewouldn'thavetositbysomechatterboxallthewaytoCalifornia.

Shelistenedtotheenginesrevupandmadesurethatherseatbeltwasproperlyfastened.They

wouldbeoffassoonasthetowerclearedthem,thepilotannounced.Amandasighed.Shecalleda
silentgoodbyetoQuinnSutton,andElliotandHarry,knowingthatoncethisplaneliftedoff,she'd
neverseeanyofthemagain.Shewincedatthethought.Oh,Quinn,shemoanedinwardly,why
wouldn'tyoulisten!

Theplanegotclearanceandaminutelater,itshotdowntherunwayandliftedoff.Butitseemed

oddlysluggish.Amandawasusedtoairtravel,eventocharterflights,andsheopenedhereyesand
peeredforwardworriedlyasshelistenedtothewhinebecomearoar.

Shewasstrappedin,butagroanfrombehindtookhermindofftheengine.Theelderlymanbehind
herwasclutchinghischestandgroaning.

"What'swrong?"sheaskedtheworriedbusinessmanintheseatbesidetheolderman.

"Heartattack,Ithink."Hegrimaced."Whatcanwedo?"

"IknowalittleCPR,"shesaid.Sheunfastenedherseatbelt;sodidthegroaningman'sseat

companion.Butjustastheystartedtolayhimonthefloor,someoneshoutedsomething.Smokebegan
topouroutofthecockpit,andthepilotcalledforeveryonetoas-
sumecrashpositions.Amandaturned,almostinslow
motion.Shecouldfeeltheforceofgravityincreaseas
theplanestarteddown.Thefloorwentoutfromun-
derherandherlastconsciousthoughtwasthatshe'd
neverseeQuinnagain

Elliotwaswatchingtelevisionwithoutmuchinterest,wishingthathisfatherhadlistenedwhen
Amandahadphonedthenightbefore.Hecouldn'tbelievethathewasgoingtobeforbiddentoeven
speaktoheragain,butQuinnhadinsisted,hiscoldvoicegivingnothingawayashe'dmadeElliot
promisetomakenoattempttocontacther.

Itseemedsounfair,hethought.Amandawasnowildpartygirl,surelyhisfatherknewthat?He

sighedheavilyandmunchedonanotherpotatochip.

Themoviehewaswatchingwassuddenlyinterruptedasthelocalstationbrokeinwithanews

bulletin.Elliotlistenedforaminute,gaspedandjumpeduptogethisfather.

Quinnwasintheoffice,notreallyconcentratingonwhathewasdoing,whenElliotburstin.The

boylookedodd,hisfrecklesstandingoutinanunnaturallypaleface.

"Dad,you'dbettercomehere,"hesaiduneasily."Quick!"

Quinn'sfirstthoughtwasthatsomethinghadhappenedtoHarry,butElliotstoppedinfrontofthe
television.Quinnfrownedashisdarkeyeswatchedthescreen.Theywereshowingtheairport.

"What'sthisall—"hebegan,thenstoppedtolisten.

"...planewentdownabouttenminutesago,accordingtoourbestinformation,"theman,probably

theairportmanager,wassaying."We'vegothelicoptersflyingintolookforthewreckage,butthe
windisup,andtheareatheplanewentdowninisalmostinaccessiblebyroad."

"Whatplane?"Quinnaskedabsently.

"Torepeatourearlierbulletin,"themanontelevisionseemedtooblige,'aprivatecharterplanehas

beenreportedlostsomewhereintheGrandTetonMountainsjustoutofJacksonHole.Oneeyewitness
interviewedbyKWJC-TVnewsmanBillDonovanstatedthathesawflamesshootingoutofthe
cockpitofthetwin-engineaircraftandthathewatcheditplummetintothemountainsandvanish.

AboardthecraftwereprominentSanFranciscobusinessmenBobDoyleandHarryBrown,andthe
leadsingeroftherockgroupDesperado,MandyCallaway."

Quinnsatdowninhischairhardenoughtoshakeit.HeknewhisfacewasaswhiteasElliot's.Inhis
mind,hecouldhearhisownvoicetellingMandyhedidn'twantheranymore,daringhertoever
contacthimagain.Nowshewasdead,andhefeltherlossassurelyasifoneofhisarmshadbeen
severedfromhisbody.

Thatwaswhenherealizedhowdesperatelyhelovedher.Whenitwastoolatetotakebacktheharsh

words,togoafterherandbringherhomewhereshebelonged.Hethoughtofhersoftbodylyingin
thecoldsnow,andasoundbrokefromhisthroat.He'dsentherawaybecausehelovedher,not
becausehe'dwantedtohurther,butshewouldn'thaveknownthat.Herlastmemoryofhimwould
havebeenapainful,hatefulone.She'dhavediedthinkinghedidn'tcare.

"Idon'tbelieveit,"Elliotsaidhuskily.Hewasshakinghishead."Ijustdon'tbelieveit.Shewas

onstageFridaynight,singingagain—"Hisvoicebrokeandheputhisfaceinhishands.

Quinncouldn'tbearit.HegotupandwentpastastartledHarryandoutthebackdoorinhis
shirtsleeves,soupsetthathedidn'tevenfeelthecold.Hiseyeswenttothebarn,wherehe'dwatched
Amandafeedthecalves,andaroundthebackwhereshe'drunfromhimthatsnowyafternoonandhe'd
hadtosaveherfromMcNaber'sbeartraps.Hisbigfistsclenchedbyhissidesandheshudderedwith
theforceofthegriefhefelt,hisfacecontorting.

"Amanda!"Hebitoffthename.

Alongtimelater,hewasawareofsomeonestandingnearby.Hedidn'tturnbecausehisfacewould
havesaidtoomuch.

"Elliottoldme,"Harrysaidhesitantly.Hestuckhishandsintohispockets."Theysaywheresheis,

theymaynotbeabletogetherout."

Quinn'steethclenched."I'llgetherout,"hesaidhuskily."Iwon'tleaveheroutthereinthecold."He
swallowed."Getmyskisandmybootsoutofthestoreroom,andmyinsulatedskisuitoutofthe
closet.I'mgoingtocallthelodgeandtalktoTerryMeade."

"HemanagesLarry'sLodge,doesn'the?"Harryrecalled.

"Yes.Hecangetachoppertotakemeup."

"Goodthingyou'vekeptupyourpractice,"Harrymuttered."Neverthoughtyou'dneedtheskisfor

somethingthisawful,though."

"NeitherdidI."Heturnedandwentbackinside.HemighthavetogiveupAmandaforever,buthe

wasn'tgivingheruptothatdamnedmountain.He'dgetheroutsomehow.

Hegrabbedthephone,ignoringElliot'squestions,andcalledthelodge,askingforTerryMeadein

atonethatgotinstantaction.

"Quinn!"Terryexclaimed."JustthemanIneed.Look,we'vegotacrash—"

"Iknow,"Quinnsaidtightly."Iknowthesinger.Canyougetmeatopomapoftheareaanda

chopper?I'llneedafirst-aidkit,too,andsomeflares—"

"Nosoonersaidthandone,"Terryrepliedtersely."AlthoughIdon'tthinkthatfirst-aidkitwillbe
needed,Quinn,I'msorry."

"Well,packitanyway,willyou?"Hefoughtdownnausea."I'llbeupthereinlessthanthirty

minutes."

"We'llbewaiting."

QuinngotintotheskisuitunderElliot'sfascinatedgaze.

"Youdon'tusuallywearthatsuitwhenweskitogether,"hetoldhisfather.

"Wedon'tstayoutthatlong,"Quinnexplained."Thissuitisarelativelynewinnovation.It'ssucha

tightweavethatitkeepsoutmoisture,butit'smadeinsuchawaythatitallowssweattogetout.It's
likehavingyourownheateralong."

"Iliketheboots,too,"Elliotremarked.Theywereblue,andtheyhadaknobontheheelthat

allowedthemtobetightenedtofittheskier'sfootexactly.Bootshadtofittighttoworkproperly.And
theskisthemselveswereequallyfascinating.Theyhadspecialbrakesthatunlockedwhentheskier
fell,whichstoppedtheskifromslidingdownthehill.

"Thosesurearelongskis,"Elliotremarkedashisfathertookprecioustimetoapplyhotwaxto

them.

"Longerthanyours,forsure.Theyfitmyheight,"Quinnsaidtersely."Andthey'reshortcompared

tojumpingskis."

"Didyoueverjump,Dad,ordidyoujustdodownhill?"

"Giantslalom,"hereplied."StrictlyAlpineskiing.That'sgoingtocomeinhandytoday."

Elliotsighed."Idon'tguessyou'llletmecomealong?"

"Nochance.Thisisnoplaceforyou."Hiseyesdarkened."GodknowswhatI'llfindwhenIgetto

theplane."

Elliotbithislowerlip."She'sdead,isn'tshe,Dad?"heaskedinachokedtone.

Quinn'sexpressionclosed."YoustayherewithHarry,anddon'ttieupthetelephone.I'llcallhome

assoonasIknowanything."

"Takecareofyourselfupthere,okay?"ElliotmurmuredasQuinnpickeduptheskisandtherestof

hisequipment,includingglovesandskicap."Idon'tsayitalot,butIloveyou,Dad."

"Iloveyou,too,son."Quinnpulledhimcloseandgavehimaquick,roughhug."IknowwhatI'm

doing.I'llbeokay."

"Goodluck,"HarrysaidasQuinnwentoutthebackdoortogetintohispickuptruck.

"I'llneedit,"Quinnmuttered.Hewaved,startedthetruck,andpulledoutintothedriveway.

TerryMeadewaswaitingwiththeSkiPatrol,thehelicopterpilot,assortedlawenforcementofficials
andthecivildefensedirectorandtryingtofieldthenewsmediagatheredatLarry'sLodge.

"Thisistheareawherewethinktheyare,"Terrysaidgrimly,showingQuinnthemap."Whatyou

callIronsidepeak,right?It'snotinourpatrolarea,sowedon'thaveanythingtodowithitofficially.
Thehelicoptertriedandfailedtogetintothevalleybelowitbecauseofthewind.Thetreesaredense
downthereandvisibilityislimitedbyblowingsnow.Ourteamsaregoingtostarthere,"hepointedat
variousplacesonthemap."Butthishillisakiller."HegrinnedatQuinn."Youcutyourteethonit
whenyouwerepracticingfortheOlympicsallthoseyearsago,andyou'vekeptupyourpractice
there.Ifanyonecanskiit,youcan."

"I'llgetin.Whatthen?"

"Sendupaflare.I'mpackingacellularphoneinwiththeotherstuffyouaskedfor.It'sgotabetter

rangethanourwalkie-talkies.Everybodyknowwhattodo?Right.Let'sgo."

Heledthemoutofthelodge.Quinnputonhisgoggles,tuggedhisskicapoverhisheadandthrust

hishandsintohisgloves.Hedidn'tevenwanttothinkaboutwhathemighthavetolookatifhewas
luckyenoughtofindthedownedplane.Hewashavingenoughtroublelivingwithwhathe'dsaidto
Amandathelasttimehe'dtalkedtoher.

Hecouldstillhearhervoice,hearthehurtinitwhenhe'dtoldherhedidn'twanther.Remembering
thatwaslikecuttingopenhisheart.Forhersake,he'dsentheraway.Hewasapoorman.Hehadso
littletooffersuchafamous,beautifulwoman.Atfirst,atthelodge,hispridehadbeencuttoribbons
whenhediscoveredwhoshewas,andhowshe'dfooledhim,howshe'ddeceivedhim.Buther
adorationhadbeenreal,andwhenhismindwasfunctioningagain,herealizedthat.He'dalmost
phonedherback,he'devendialedthenumber.Butherworldwassodifferentfromhis.

Hecouldn'tlethergiveupeverythingshe'dworkedallherlifefor,justtoliveinthemiddleof
nowhere.Shedeservedsomuchmore.Hesighedwearily.Ifshedied,thelastconversationwould
haunthimuntilthedayhedied.Hedidn'tthinkhecouldlivewithit.Hedidn'twanttohavetotry.She
hadtobealive.Oh,dearGod,shehadtobe!

ChapterNine

Thesunwasbright,andQuinnfeltitswarmthonhisfaceasthehelicoptersethimdownatthetopof
themountainpeakwheretheplanehadlastbeensighted.

Hewasaloneintheworldwhenthechopperliftedoffagain.Hecheckedhisbindingsonelasttime,
adjustedthelightweightbackpackandstareddownthelongmountainsidewithhisskipolesrestlessin
hishands.Thisparticularslopewasn'tskiedasarule.Itwasn'tevenconnectedwiththeresort,which
meantthattheSkiPatroldidn'tcomehere,andthattheusualrescuetobogganpostedonmostslopes
wouldn'tbeinevidence.Hewastotallyonhisownuntilhecouldfindthedownedplane.Andheknew
thatwhilehewassearchingthisuntamedarea,theSkiPatrolwouldbeoutinforceontheregular
slopeslookingfortheaircraft.

Hesighedheavilyashestareddownattherugged,untouchedterrain,whichwouldbeabeginning
skier'snightmare.Well,itwasnowornever.Amandawasdowntheresomewhere.Hehadtofindher.
Hecouldn'tleaveherthereinthecoldsnowforalleternity.

Hepulleddownhisgoggles,suppressedhisfeelingsandshovedtheskipolesdeepashepropelled

himselfdowntheslope.Thefirstcoupleofminutesweretrickyashehadtoallowfortheslightadded
weightofthebackpack.Butittookscanttimetoadjust,tobalancehisweightontheskisto
compensate.

Thewindbithisface,thesnowflewoverhisdarkskisuitashewounddowntheslopes,hisskis

throwinguppowderedsnowinhiswake.Itbroughtbackmemoriesofthedayswhenhe'd
maneuveredthroughthegiantslalominAlpineskiingcompetition.He'dbeeninthetoponepercent
ofhisclass,adaredevilskierwithcoldnerveandexpertcontrolontheslopes.Thismountainwasa
killer,butitwasoneheknewlikethebackofhishand.He'dtrainedonthispeakbackinhisearlydays
ofcompetition,lovingthedangerofskiingaslopewherenooneelsecame.Evenforthepastten
yearsorso,he'dhonedhisskillhereeverychancehegot.

Quinnsmiledtohimself,hisbodyleaningintotheturns,nottoofar,thecuttingedgeofhisskis

breakinghisspeedashemaneuveredoverboulders,downthefallline,aroundtreesandbroken
branchesoroverthem,whicheverseemedmoreexpedient.

Hisdarkeyesnarrowedashedefeatedtheobstacles.Atleast,thankGod,hewasabletodosomething
insteadofgoingthroughhellsittingathomewaitingforword.Thatinitselfwasablessing,evenifit
endedinthetragedyeveryoneseemedtothinkitwould.Hecouldn'tbeartoimagineAmandadead.He
hadtothinkpositively.Therewerepeoplewhowalkedawayfromairplanecrashes.Hehadtobelieve
thatshecouldbeoneofthem.Hehadtokeepthinkingthatorgomad.

He'dhopedagainsthopethatwhenhegotnearthebottomofthehill,underthosetallpinesandthe
deadlyupdraftsanddowndraftsthathaddefeatedthehelicopter'sreconnoitering,thathe'dfindthe
airplane.Butitwasn'tthere.Heturnedhisskissidewaysandskiddedtoastop,lookingaroundhim.
Maybetheobserverhadgottenhissightingwrong.Maybeitwasanotherpeak,maybeitwasmiles
away.Hebithislowerlipraw,tastingthelipbalmhe'dappliedbeforehecameontotheslope.If
anyoneonthatplanewasalive,timewasgoingtomakethedifference.Hehadtofinditquickly,or
Amandawouldn'thaveaprayerifshe'dmanagedtosurvivetheinitialimpact.

Hestarteddownhillagain,hisheartbeatincreasingastheworrybegantoeatathim.Onanimpulse,

heshotacrossthefallline,paralleltoitforalittlewhilebeforehemaneuveredbackandwentdown
againinlazySpatterns.Somethingcaughthisattention.Asound.Voices!

Hestoppedtolisten,turninghishead.Therewaswind,andthesoundofpinestouching.Butbeyond

itwasavoice,carryinginthesilenceofnature.Snowblanketedmostsound,makinggraveyardpeace
outofthemountain'sspringnoises.

Quinnadjustedhisweightontheskisandliftedhishandstohismouth,theskipolesdanglingfrom

hiswrists."Hello!Whereareyou?"heshouted,takingachancethatthevibrationofhisvoice
wouldn'tdislodgesnowabovehimandbringasheetofitdownonhim.

"Help!"voicescalledback."We'rehere!We'rehere!"

Hefollowedthesound,prayingthathewasn'tfollowinganecho.Butno,there,belowthetrees,he
sawaglintofmetalintheloweringsun.Theplane!ThankGod,thereweresurvivors!Nowifonly
Amandawasoneofthem...

Hewenttherestofthewaydown.Ashedrewcloser,hesawmenstandingnearthealmostintact
wreckageoftheaircraft.Onehadabandagearoundhishead,anotherwasnursingwhatlookedlikea
brokenarm.Hesawonewoman,butshewasn'tblond.Onthegroundweretwostillforms,covered
withcoats.Coveredup.

Please,God,no,hethoughtblindly.Hedrewtoastop.

"I'mSutton.Howmanydead?"heaskedthemanwho'dcalledtohim,aburlymaninagraysuitand

whiteshirtandtie.

"Two,"themanreplied."I'mJeffColeman,andIsureamgladtoseeyou."Heshookhandswith

Quinn."I'mthepilot.WehadafireinthecockpitanditwasallIcoulddotosetherdownatall.God,I
feelbad!Forsomereason,threeofthepassengershadtheirseatbeltsoffwhenwehit."Heshookhis
head."Nohopefortwoofthem.Thethird'sconcussedandlookscomatose."

Quinnfelthimselfshakinginsideasheaskedthequestionhehadtoask."Therewasasinger

aboard,"hesaid."AmandaCallaway."

"Yeah."ThepilotshookhisheadandQuinnwantedtodie,hewantedtostopbreathingrightthere..

."She'stheconcussion."

Quinnknewhishandshookashepushedhisgogglesupovertheblackskicap."Whereisshe?"he

askedhuskily.

Thepilotdidn'taskquestionsorargue.HeledQuinnpastthetwobodiesandthedazedbusinessmen
whowerestandingorsittingonfabricthey'dtakenfromtheplane,tryingtokeepwarm.

"She'shere,"thepilottoldhim,indicatingamakeshiftstretcherconstructedofbranchesand

pillowsfromthecabin,andcoatsthatcoveredthestillbody.

"Amanda,"Quinnmanagedunsteadily.Hekneltbesideher.Herhairwasinacoiledbunonher

head.Herfacewasalabasterwhite,hereyesclosed,longblacklasheslyingstillonhercheekbones.
Hermouthwasaspaleastherestofherface,andtherewasabruisehighonherforeheadattheright
temple.Hestrippedoffhisgloveandfeltthearteryatherneck.Herheartwasstillbeating,butslowly
andnotveryfirmly.Unconscious.Dying,perhaps."Oh,God,"hebreathed.

Hegottohisfeetandunloadedthebackpackasthepilotandtwooftheothermengatheredaround
him.

"I'vegotamodularphone,"Quinnsaid,"whichIhopetoGodwillwork."Hepunchedbuttonsand

waited,hisdarkeyesnarrowed,holdinghisbreath.

Itseemedtotakeforever.Thenavoice,arecognizablevoice,cameoverthewire."Hello."

"Terry!"Quinncalled."It'sSutton.I'vefoundthem."

"ThankGod!"Terryreplied."Okay,givemeyourposition."

Quinndid,spreadingouthislaminatedmaptoverifyit,andthengavethereportoncasualties.

"Onlyoneunconscious?"Terryaskedagain.

"Onlyone,"Quinnrepliedheavily.

"We'llhavetoairliftyouout,butwecan'tdoituntilthewinddiesdown.Youunderstand,Quinn,the
samedowndraftsandupdraftsthatkeptthechopperoutthismorningaregoingtokeepitoutnow."

"Yes,Iknow,damnit,"Quinnyelled."ButI'vegottogethertoahospital.She'sfailingalready."

Terrysighed."Andthereyouarewithoutarescuetoboggan.Listen,whatifIgetLarryHaledown

there?"heaskedexcitedly."YouknowLarry;hewasnationalchampindownhillafewyearsback,
andhe'saseniormemberoftheSkiPatrolnow.Wecouldairdropyouthetobogganandsome
suppliesfortherestofthesurvivorsbyplane.Thetwoofyoucouldtowhertoapointaccessibleby
chopper.Doyouwanttoriskit,Quinn?"

"Idon'tknowifshe'llbealiveinthemorning,Terry,"Quinnsaidsomberly."I'mmoreafraidto

riskdoingnothingthanIamoftowingherout.It'sfairlylevel,ifIrememberright,allthewaytothe
passthatleadsfromCarawayRidgeintoJacksonHole.Thechoppermightbeabletoflydown

JacksonHoleandcomeinthatway,withouthavingtonavigatethepeaks.Whatdoyouthink?"

"Ithinkit'sagoodidea,"Terrysaid."IfIrememberright,theyclearedthatpassfromtheRidge

intoJacksonHoleinthefall.Itshouldstillbeaccessible."

"Noproblem,"Quinnsaid,hisjawgrim."Ifitisn'tcleared,I'llclearit,byhandifnecessary."

Terrychuckledsoftly."Halesayshe'salreadyontheway.We'llgettheplaneup—hellofapityhe
can'tlandwhereyouare,butit'sjusttootricky.Howabouttheothersurvivors?"

Quinntoldhimtheirconditions,alongwiththetwobodiesthatwouldhavetobeairliftedout.

"Toobad,"hereplied.Hepausedforaminutetotalktosomebody."Listen,Quinn,ifyoucanget

thewomantoCarawayRidge,thechopperpilotthinkshecansafelyputdownthere.Abouttheothers,
cantheymanageuntilmorningifwedropthesupplies?"

Quinnlookedatthepilot."Canyou?"

"IatesnakesinNamandBilloverthereservedinAntarctica."Hegrinned."Betweenus,wecan

keepthesepilgrimswarmandevenfeedthem.Sure,we'llbeokay.Getthatlittleladyoutifyoucan."

"Amen,"themannamedBilladded,glancingatAmanda'sstillform."I'veheardhersing.Itwould

beacrimeagainstarttoletherdie."

Quinnliftedthecellularphonetohisear."Theysaytheycanmanage,Terry.Areyousureyoucanget
themoutinthemorning?"

"Ifwehavetosendthesnowplowinthroughthevalleyorsendinasquadofsnowmobilesanda

horse-drawnsled,you'dbetterbelievewe'llgetthemout.TheSkiPatrolisalreadyworkingoutthe
details."

"Okay."

Quinnunloadedhisbackpack.Hehadflaresandmatches,packetsofhighproteindehydratedfood,the
first-aidkitandsomecansofsterno.

"Paradise,"thepilotsaid,lookingatthestores."Withthat,Icanprepareaseven-coursemeal,build

abonfireandmakeahouse.Butthosesuppliesthey'regoingtodropwillcomeinhandy,justthe
same."

Quinnsmiledinspiteofhimself."Okay."

"Wecansureusethisfirst-aidkit,butI'vealreadysetabrokenarmandpatchedafewcuts.BeforeI

becameapilot,Iworkedinthemedicalcorps."

"IhadrescuetrainingwhenIwasintheSkiPatrol,"Quinnreplied.Hegrinnedatthepilot."ButifI

evercomedowninaplane,Ihopeyou'reonit."

"Thanks.Ihopenoneofusevercomedownagain."Heglancedatthetwobodies."God;I'msorry

aboutthem."HeglancedatAmanda."Ihopeshemakesit."

Quinn'sjawhardened."She'safighter,"hesaid."Let'shopeshecaresenoughtotry."Healone

knewhowdefeatedshe'dprobablyfeltwhensheleftthelodge.He'dinflictedsometerribledamage
withhiscoldness.Pridehadforcedhimtosendheraway,todenyhisownhappiness.Onceheknew
howfamousandwealthyshewasinherownright,hehadn'tfeltthathehadtherighttoaskhertogive
italluptolivewithhimandElliotinthewildsofWyoming.He'dbeendoingwhathethoughtwas
bestforher.Nowheonlywantedhertolive.

Hetookadeepbreath."WatchfortheplaneandHale,willyou?I'mgoingtositwithher."

"Sure."Thepilotgavehimalonglookthathedidn'tseebeforehewentbacktotalktotheother

survivors.

QuinnsatdownbesideAmanda,reachingforonecoldlittlehandunderthecoatsthatcoveredher.It
wasgoingtobearoughrideforher,andshedidn'tneedanymorejarring.Butiftheywaiteduntil
morning,withoutmedicalhelp,shecoulddie.Itwasmuchriskiertodonothingthanitwastorisk
movingher.Anddownhereinthevalley,thesnowwasdeepandfairlylevel.ItwouldbelikeNordic
skiing;crosscountryskiing.Withluck,itwouldfeellikeanicelazysleighridetoher.

"Listentome,honey,"hesaidsoftly."We'vegotalongwaytogobeforewegetyououtofhere

andtoahospital.You'regoingtohavetoholdonforalongtime."Hishandtightenedaroundhers,
warmingit."I'llberightwithyoueverystepoftheway.Iwon'tleaveyouforasecond.Butyouhave
todoyourpart,Amanda.Youhavetofighttostayalive.Ihopethatyoustillwanttolive.Ifyoudon't,
there'ssomethingIneedtotellyou.IsentyouawaynotbecauseIhatedyou,Amanda,butbecauseI
lovedyousomuch.Ilovedyouenoughtoletyougobacktothelifeyouneeded.You'vegottostay
alivesothatIcantellyouthat,"headded,stoppingbecausehisvoicebroke.

Helookedaway,gettingcontrolbackbreathbybreath.Hethoughthefeltherfingersmove,buthe

couldn'tbesure."I'mgoingtogetyououtofhere,honey,onewayortheother,evenifIhavetowalk
outwithyouinmyarms.Trytoholdon,forme,"Hebroughtherhandtohismouthandkissedthe
palmhungrily."Trytoholdon,becauseifyoudie,sodoI.Ican'tkeepgoingunlessyou're
somewhereintheworld,evenifIneverseeyouagain.Evenifyouhatemeforever."

Heswallowedhardandputdownherhand.Thesoundofanairplaneinthedistanceindicatedthat
supplieswereontheway.QuinnputAmanda'shandbackunderthecoverandbenttobrushhismouth
againsthercold,stillone.

"Iloveyou,"hewhisperedroughly."You'vegottoholdonuntilIcangetyououtofhere."

Hestood,hisfacelikethestonycragsabovethem,hiseyesglitteringashejoinedtheothers.

Theplanecircledandsecondslater,awhiteparachuteappeared.Quinnheldhisbreathasit

descended,hopingagainsthopethatthechutewouldn'thangupinthetalltreesandthatthetoboggan
wouldsoft-landsothatitwasusable.Adropinthiskindofwindwasriskyatbest.

Butluckwaswiththem.Thesuppliesandthesledmadeitinonepiece.Quinnandthepilotanda
coupleofthesturdiersurvivorsunfastenedthechuteandbroughtthecontentsbacktothewreckageof
thecommuterplane.Thesledwasevenequippedwithblanketsandapillowandstrapstokeep
Amandasecured.

Minuteslater,thedroneofahelicopterwhisperedonthewind,andnotlongafterthat,Halestarted
downthemountainside.

Ittookseveralminutes.Quinnsawtheflashofrustthatdenotedthedistinctivejacketandwhite

waistpackoftheSkiPatrolabove,andwhenHalecamecloser,hecouldseethegoldcrossonthe
rightpocketofthejacket—aduplicateofthebigonestenciledonthejacket'sback.Hesmiled,
rememberingwhenhe'dwornthatsametypeofjacketduringabriefstintasaskipatrolman.Itwasa
specialkindofoccupation,andcountlessskiersowedtheirlivestothosebravemenandwomen.The
NationalSkiPatrolhadonlyexistedsince1938.ItwascreatedbyCharlesDoleofConnecticut,aftera
skiingaccidentthattookthelifeofoneofhisfriends.Today,theSkiPatrolhadover10,000members
nationally,ofwhomninety-eightpercentwerevolunteers.Theywerethefirstontheslopesandthe
lastoff,patrolingfordangerousareasandrescuinginjuredpeople.Quinnhadoncebeenpartofthat
elitegroupandhestillhadthegreatestrespectforthem.

Halewastheonlycoloragainstthewhitenessofthesnow.Thesunwasout,andthankGodithadn't
snowedallday.Ithaddoneenoughofthatlastnight.

Quinn'snerveswerestretched.Hehadn'thadacigarettesincehe'darrivedatthelodge,andhedidn't
darehaveonenow.Nicotineandcaffeinetendedtoconstrictbloodvessels,andthecoldwas
dangerousenoughwithoutgivingitanyhelp.Experiencedskiersknewbetterthantostacktheodds
againstthemselves.

"Well,Imadeit."Halegrinned,gettinghisbreath."Howareyou,Quinn?"Heextendedahandand

Quinnshookit.

ThemanintheSkiPatroljacketnoddedtotheothers,acceptedtheirthanksforthesupplieshe'd

broughtwithhim,whichincludedamakeshiftshelterandplentyoffoodandwaterandevenabottle
ofcognac.Buthedidn'twastetime."We'dbettergetmovingifwehopetogetMissCallawayoutof
herebydark."

"She'soverhere,"Quinnsaid."God,Ihatedoingthis,"headdedheavilywhenheandHalewere

standingovertheunconsciouswoman."Iftherewasanyhope,anyatall,thatthechoppercouldgetin
here..."

"Youcanfeelthewindforyourself,"Halereplied,hiseyessolemn."We'retheonlychanceshehas.

We'llgethertothechopper.Pieceofcake,"headdedwithareassuringsmile.

"Ihopeso,"Quinnsaidsomberly.HebentandnoddedtoHale.Theyliftedherverygentlyontothe

longsledcontainingthelitter.Ithadhandlesonbothends,becauseitwasdesignedtobetowed.They
attachedthetowlines,coveredAmandacarefullyandsetout,withreassurancesfromthestranded
survivors.

Therewasnotimetotalk.Thetrackwasfairlystraightforward,butitworriedQuinn,allthesame,

becausetherewerecruststhatjarredthewomanonthelitter.Hetowed,Haleguided,theirrhythms
matchingperfectlyastheymadetheirwaydownthesnow-coveredvalley.Aroundthem,thewind
sangthroughthetallfirsandlodgepolepines,andQuinnthoughtabouttheoldtrappersandmountain
menwhomusthavecomethroughthisvalleyahundred,twohundredyearsbefore.Inthosedaysof
poorsanitationandevenpoorermedicine,Amandawouldn'thavestoodachance.

Heforcedhimselfnottolookback.HehadtoconcentrateongettinghertotheRidge.Allthatwas
importantnow,wasthatshegetmedicalhelpwhileitcouldstilldohersomegood.Hehadn'tcomeall
thiswaytofindheralive,onlytoloseher.

Itseemedtotakeforever.OnceQuinnwascertainthatthey'dlosttheirwayastheynavigated

throughthenarrowpassthatledtothefifty-milevalleybetweentheGrandTetonsandtheWindRiver
Range,anareaknownasJacksonHole.Butherecognizedlandmarksastheywentalong,and
eventuallytheywoundtheirwayaroundthetreesandalongthesparklingriveruntiltheyreachedthe
flatsbelowCarawayRidge.

QuinnandHalewerebothbreathinghardbynow.They'dchangedplacesseveraltimes,sothat

neithergottootiredoftowingthetoboggan,andtheywerebothinpeakcondition.Butitwasstilla
difficultthingtodo.

Theyrested,andQuinnreacheddowntocheckAmanda'spulse.Itwasstillthere,andevenseemedto
be,incredibly,alittlestrongerthanithadbeen.ButshewaspaleandstillandQuinnfelthisspirits
sinkashelookeddownather.

"Thereitis,"Halecalled,sweepinghisarmovertheridge."Thechopper."

"Nowifonlyitcanland,"Quinnsaidquietly,andhebegantopray.

Thechoppercamelowerandlower,thenitseemedtoshootupagainandQuinnbitoffahard

word.Butthepilotcorrectedforthewind,whichwasdyingdown,andeasedthehelicoptertowardthe
ground.Itseemedtosettleinchbyinchuntilitlandedsafe.Thepilotwasoutofitbeforetheblades
stopped.

"Let'sgetoutofhere,"hecalledtothemen."Ifthatwindcatchesupagain,Iwouldn'tgiveusa

chanceinhellofgettingout.ItwasamiraclethatIevengotin!"

Quinnreleasedhisbindingsinaflash,leavinghisskisandpolesforHaletocarry,alongwithhis

own.Hegotonesideofthestretcherwhilethepilot,fortunatelynolightweighthimself,gottheother.
Theyputthestretcherinthebackofthebroadhelicopter,onthefloor,andQuinnandHalepiledin—
Haleinthepassengerseatupfront,QuinnbehindwithAmanda,carefullylayingskiequipmentbeside
her.

"Let'sgo!"thepilotcalledasherevveduptheengine.

Itwastouchandgo.Thewinddecidedtoplaytagwiththem,andtheyalmostwentintoalodgepole

pineonthewayup.Butthepilotwasatenaciousmanwithgoodnerves.Heeaseddownandthenup,

downandupuntilhecaughtthewindoffguardandshotupoutofthevalleyandoverthemountain.

QuinnreacheddownandclaspedAmanda'scoldhandinhis.Onlyalittlelonger,honey,hethought,
watchingherwithhisheartinhiseyes.Onlyalittlelonger,forGod'ssake,holdon!

Itwasthelongestrideofhisentirelife.Hesparedonethoughtforthepeoplewho'dstayedbehindto
giveAmandaherchanceandheprayedthatthey'dberescuedwithoutanyfurtherinjuries.Thenhis
eyessettledonherpalefaceandstayedthereuntilthehelicopterlandedonthehospitallawn.

Thereporters,local,stateandnational,hadgottenwordoftherescuemission.Theywerewaiting.

PolicekeptthembackjustlongenoughforAmandatobecarriedintothehospital,butQuinnand
Halewerecaught.QuinnvolunteeredHaletogiveanaccountoftherescueandthenheduckedout,
leavingtheothermantofieldtheenthusiasticaudiencewhilehetrailedquicklybehindthemenwho'd
takenAmandaintotheemergencyroom.

Hedrankcoffeeandsmokedcigarettesandglaredatwallsforoveranhouruntilsomeonecameout
totalktohim.Halehadtogobacktothelodge,tohelpplantherescueoftherestofthesurvivors,but
hepromisedtokeepintouch.Afterhe'dgone,Quinnfeltevenmorealone.Butatlastadoctorcame
intothewaitingroom,andapproachedhim.

"AreyourelatedtoMissCallaway?"thedoctoraskedwithnarrowedeyes.

Quinnknewthatifhesaidno,he'dhavetowaitfornewsofherconditionuntilhecouldfind
somebodywhowasrelatedtoher,andhehadnoideahowtofindheraunt.

"I'mherfiancé,"hesaidwithoutmovingamuscleinhisface."Howisshe?"

"Notgood,"thedoctor,asmallwiryman,saidbluntly."ButIbelieveinmiracles.Wehaveherin

inten-sivecare,whereshe'llstayuntilsheregainsconscious-ness.She'sbadlyconcussed.Igathershe
hasn'tregainedconsciousnesssincethecrash?"Quinnshookhishead."Thatsleighrideand
helicopterliftdidn'tdoanygood,either,"headdedfirmly,addingwhenhesawtheexpressionon
Quinn'stormentedface,"butIcanunderstandthenecessityforit.Gogetsomesleep.Comebackin
themorning.Wewon'tknowanythinguntilthen.Maybenotuntilmuchlater.Concussionistricky.We
can'tpredicttheoutcome,asmuchaswe'dliketo."

"Ican'trest,"Quinnsaidquietly."I'llsitouthereanddrinkcoffee,ifyoudon'tmind.Ifthisisas

closetoherasIcanget,it'llhavetodo."

Thedoctortookaslowbreath."Wekeepsparebedsincaseslikethis,"hesaid."I'llhaveonemade

upforyouwhenyoucan'tstayawakeanylonger."Hesmiledfaintly."Trytothinkpositively.Itisn't
medical,exactly,butsometimesitworkswonders.Prayerdoesn'thurt,either."

"Thankyou,"Quinnsaid.

Thedoctorshrugged."Waituntilshewakesup.Goodnight."

Quinnwatchedhimgoandsighed.Hedidn'tknowwhattodonext.HephonedTerryatthelodgeto

seeifAmanda'sbandhadcalled.SomeonenamedJerryandamancalledHankhadbeenphoning
everyfewminutes,hewastold.QuinnaskedforaphonenumberandTerrygaveittohim.

Hedialedtheareacode.California,hefiguredashewaitedforittoring.

"Hello?"

"ThisisQuinnSutton,"hebegan.

"Yes,Irecognizeyourvoice.It'sHankhere.Howisshe?"

"Concussion.Coma,Iguess.She'sinintensivecareandshe'sstillalive.That'saboutallIknow."

Therewasalongpause."I'dhopedforalittlemorethanthat."

"SohadI,"Quinnreplied.Hehesitated."I'llphoneyouinthemorning.TheminuteIknowanything.

Isthereanybodyweshouldnotify...heraunt?"

"Herauntisascatterbrainandnohelpatall.Anyway,she'soffwithBlalockDurninginthe

Bahamasononeofthoseincommunicadoislands.Wecouldn'treachherifwetried."

"Isthereanybodyelse?"Quinnasked.

"NotthatIknowof."Therewasabriefpause."Ifeelbadaboutthewaythingshappened.Ihate

planes,youknow.That'swhytherestofuswentbybus.Westoppedhereinsomehicktowntomake
sureAmandagotherplane,andTerrytolduswhathappened.Wegotamotelroomandwe'rewaiting
forabusbacktoJackson.Itwillprobablybelatetomorrowbeforewegetthere.We'vealready
canceledthegig.Wecan'tdoitwithoutAmanda.

"I'llbookaroomforyou,"Quinnsaid.

"Makeitasuite,"Hankreplied,"andifyouneedanything,youknow,anything,youjusttellus."

"I'vegotplentyofcigarettesandthecoffeemachine'sworking.I'mfine."

"We'llseeyouwhenwegetthere.AndSutton—thanks.Shereallycaresaboutyou,youknow?"

"Icareabouther,"hesaidstiffly."That'swhyIsentheraway.MyGod,howcouldshegiveallthat

uptoliveonamountaininWyoming?"

"Amanda'snotacitygirl,though,"Hanksaidslowly."Andshechangedafterthosedaysshespent

withyou.Herheartwasn'twithusanymore.Shecriedalllastnight..."

"Oh,God,don't,"Quinnsaid.

"Sorry,man,"Hanksaidquietly."I'mreallysorry,that'sthelastthingIshouldhavesaid.Look,go

smokeacigarette.IthinkI'lltieoneonroyallyandhavetheboysputmetobed.Tomorrowwe'lltalk.
Takecare."

"You,too."

Quinnhungup.Hecouldn'tbeartothinkofAmandacryingbecauseofwhathe'ddonetoher.He
mightloseherevenyet,andhedidn'tknowhowhewasgoingtogoonliving.Hefeltsoalone.

HewasoutofchangeafterhecalledthelodgeandbookedthesuiteforHankandtheothers,buthe
stillhadtotalktoElliotandHarry.Hedialedtheoperatorandcalledcollect.Elliotansweredthe
phoneimmediately.

"Howisshe?"heaskedquickly.

Quinnwentoveritagain,feelingnumb."IwishIknewmore,"heconcluded."Butthat'sallthereis."

"Shecan'tdie,"Elliotsaidmiserably."Dad,shejustcan't!"

"Sayaprayer,son,"hereplied."Anddon'tletHarryteachyouanybadhabitswhileI'mgone."

"No,sir,Iwon't,"Elliotsaidwithafeebleattemptathumor."You'regoingtostay,Iguess?"

"Ihaveto,"Quinnsaidhuskily.Hehesitated."Iloveher."

"SodoI,"Elliotsaidsoftly."Bringherbackwhenyoucome."

"IfIcan.Ifshe'llevenspeaktomewhenshewakesup,"Quinnsaidwithatotallackofconfidence.

"Shewill,"Elliottoldhim."Youshouldhavelistenedtosomeofthosesongsyouthoughtwereso

horrible.OneofherswonaGrammy.Itwasallabouthavingtogiveupthingswelovetokeepfrom
hurtingthem.Shealwaysseemedtofeelitwhensomebodywassadorhurt,youknow.Andsherisked
herownlifetryingtosavethatgirlattheconcert.She'snotsomeonewhothinksaboutgettingeven
withpeople.She'sgottoomuchheart."

Quinndrewdeeplyfromhiscigarette."Ihopeso,son,"hesaid."Yougettobed.I'llcallyou
tomorrow."

"Okay.Takecareofyourself.Loveyou,Dad."

"Me,too,son,"Quinnreplied.Hehungup.Thewaitingareawasdesertednow,andthehospital

seemedtohavegonetosleep.HesatdownwithhisStyrofoamcupofblackcoffeeandfinishedhis
cigarette.Theroomlookedlikehefelt—empty.

ChapterTen

waslatemorningwhenthenursecametoshakeQuinngentlyawake.Apparentlyarounddawnhe'd

gonetosleepsittingup,withanemptycoffeecupinhishand.Hethoughthe'dneversleepatall.

Hesatup,drowsyanddisheveled."HowisAmanda?"heaskedimmediately.

Thenurse,ayoungblonde,smiledathim."She'sawakeandaskingforyou."

"Oh,thankGod,"hesaidheavily.Hegotquicklytohisfeet,stillalittlegroggy,andfollowedher

downtotheintensive-careunit,wherepatientsintinyroomsweremonitoredfromacentralnurses'
stationandthehumandclickandwhiroflife-supportingmachineryfilledtheair.Ifshewasasking
forhim,shemustnothatehimtoomuch.Thatthoughtsustainedhimashefollowedthenurseinto
oneofthesmallcubicleswhereAmandalay.

Amandalookedthinnerthaneverinthelight,herfacepinched,hereyeshollow,herlipschapped.

They'dtakenherhairdownsomewherealongthewayandtieditbackwithapinkribbon.Shewas
proppedupinbed,stillwiththeIVinposition,butshe'dbeentakenoffalltheothermachines.

ShelookedupandsawQuinnandallthewearinessandpainwentoutofherface.Shebrightened,
becamebeautifuldespiteherinjuries,hereyessparkling.Herlastthoughtwhenshe'drealizedinthe
planewhatwasgoingtohappenhadbeenofQuinn.Herfirstthoughtwhenshe'dregained
consciousnesshadbeenofhim.Thepain,thegriefofhavinghimturnawayfromherwasforgotten.
Hewashere,now,andthatmeanthehadtocareabouther.

"Oh,Quinn!"shewhisperedtearfully,andheldoutherarms.

Hewenttoherwithouthesitation,ignoringthenurses,theaides,thewholeworld.Hisarmsfolded

gentlyaroundher,carefulofthetubesattachedtoherhand,andhisheadbentoverhers,hischeekon
hersofthair,hiseyesclosedasheshiveredwithreaction.Shewasalive.Shewasgoingtolive.Hefelt
asifheweregoingtochoketodeathonhisownrushoffeeling.

"MyGod,"hewhisperedshakily.

thoughtI'dlostyou."

Thatwasworthitall,shethought,dazedfromtheemotioninhisvoice,atthetremorinhispowerful
bodyasheheldher.Sheclungtohim,herslenderarmsaroundhisneck,drowninginpleasure.She'd
wonderedifhehadn'tsentherawayinamisguidedbeliefthatitwasforherowngood.Nowshewas
sureofit.Hecouldn'thavelookedthathaggard,thatterrible,unlessshematteredverymuchtohim.
Herachingheartsoared."Theysaidyoubroughtmeout."

"HaleandIdid,"hesaidhuskily.Heliftedhishead,searchingherbrighteyesslowly."It'sbeenthe

longestnightofmylife.Theysaidyoumightdie."

"Oh,weCallawaysaretoughbirds,"shesaid,wipingawayatear.Shewasstillweakandsoreand

herheadachehadn'tcompletelygoneaway."Youlookterrible,mydarling,"shewhisperedona
chokedlaugh.

Theendearmentfiredhisblood.Hehadtotakeadeepbreathbeforehecouldevenspeak.His

fingerslinkedwithhers."Ifeltprettyterriblewhenwelistenedtothenewsreport,especiallywhenI
rememberedthethingsIsaidtoyou."Hetookadeepbreath."Ididn'tknowifyou'dhatemeforthe
restofyourlife,butevenifyoudid,Icouldn'tjustsitonmymountainandletotherpeoplelookfor
you."Histhumbgentlystrokedthebackofherpalehand."Howdoyoufeel,honey?"

"Prettybad.Butconsideringitall,I'lldo.I'msorryaboutthemenwhodied.Oneofthemwas

havingaheartattack,"sheexplained."Theothergentlemanwhowassittingwithhimalertedme.We
bothunfastenedourseatbeltstotryandgiveCPR.JustafterIgotup,theplanestarteddown,"she
said."Quinn,doyoubelieveinpredestination?"

"Youmean,thatthingshappenthewaythey'remeanttoinspiteofus?"Hesmiled."IguessIdo."

Hisdarkeyesslidoverherfacehungrily."I'msogladitwasn'tyourtime,Amanda."

"SoamI."Shereachedupandtouchedhisthinmouthwithjustthetipsofherfingers."Whereis

it?"sheaskedwithanimpishsmileasasuddendeliciousthoughtoccurredtoher.

Hefrowned."Where'swhat?"

"Myengagementring,"shesaid."Anddon'ttrytobackoutofit,"sheaddedfirmlywhenhestood

therelookingshocked."YoutoldthedoctorandthewholemedicalstaffthatIwasyourfiancée,and
you'renotduckingoutofitnow.You'regoingtomarryme."

Hiseyebrowsshotup."I'mwhat?"hesaidblankly.

"You'regoingtomarryme.Where'sHank?Hasanybodyphonedhim?"

"Idid.Iwassupposedtocallhimback."Hecheckedhiswatchandgrimaced."Iguessit'stoolate

now.Heandthebandareonthewaybackhere."

"Good.They'retwiceyoursizeandatleastasmean."Hereyesnarrowed."I'lltellthemyouseduced

me.Icouldbepregnant."Shenodded,thinkingupliesfastwhileQuinn'sfacemirroredhisstark
astonishment."That'sright,Icould."

"Youcouldnot,"hesaidshortly."Inever...!"

"Butyou'regoingto,"shesaidwithahuskylaugh."JustwaituntilIgetoutofhereandgetyou

alone.I'llwrestleyoudownandstartkissingyou,andyou'llnevergetawayintime."

"Oh,God,"hegroaned,becauseheknewshewasright.Hecouldn'tresistherthatway,itwaspart

oftheproblem.

"Soyou'llhavetomarrymefirst,"shecontinued."BecauseI'mnotthatkindofgirl.Nottomention
thatyouaren'tthatkindofguy.HarrylikesmeandElliotandIarealreadyfriends,andIcouldeven
getusedtoMcNaberifhe'llmovethosetraps."Shepursedherlips,thinking."Theconcerttouris
goingtobearealdrag,butonceit'sover,I'llretirefromthestageandjustmakerecordsandtapes
andCDswiththeguys.Maybeavideonowandagain.They'lllikethat,too.We'reallbasicallyshyand
wedon'tlikeliveshows.I'llcomposesongs.Icandothatatthehouse,inbetweenhelpingHarrywith
thecookingandlookingaftersickcalves,andhavingbabies,"sheaddedwithashysmile.

Hewantedtositdown.Hehadn'tcountedonthis.Allthathadmatteredatthetimewasgettingher

awayfromthewreckageandintoahospitalwhereshecouldbecaredfor.Hehadn'tlethimselfthink
ahead.Butsheobviouslyhad.Hisheadspunwithherplans.

"Listen,you'reanentertainer,"hebegan.Hisfingerscurledaroundhersandhelookeddownat

themwithahard,grimsigh."Amanda,I'mapoorman.AllI'vegotisabroken-downranchinthe
middleofnowhere.You'dhavealotofhardships,becauseIwon'tliveonyourmoney.I'vegotason,
evenifheisn'tmine,and..."

Shebroughthishandtohercheekandhelditthere,nuzzlinghercheekagainstitasshelookedupat
himwithdark,soft,adoringeyes."Iloveyou,"shewhispered.

Hefaltered.Hischeekswentruddyasthewordspenetrated,touchedhim,excitedhim.Exceptfor

hismotherandElliot,nobodyhadeversaidthattohimbeforeAmandahad."Doyou?"heasked
huskily."Still?EvenafterthewayIwalkedoffandleftyouthereatthelodgethatnight?AfterwhatI
saidtoyouonthephone?"headded,becausehe'dhadtoomuchtimetoagonizeoverhisbehavior,
evenifithadbeenforwhathethoughtwasherowngood.

"Evenafterthat,"shesaidgently."Withallmyheart.Ijustwanttolivewithyou,Quinn.Inthewilds

ofWyoming,inagrassshackonsomeisland,inamansioninBeverlyHills—itwouldallbethe
sametome—aslongasyoulovedmebackandwecouldbetogetherfortherestofourlives."

Hefeltarippleofpuredelightgothroughhim."Isthatwhatyoureallywant?"heasked,searching
herdarkeyeswithhisown.

"Morethananythingelseintheworld,"sheconfessed."That'swhyIcouldn'ttellyouwhoandwhat

Ireallywas.Ilovedyousomuch,andIknewyouwouldn'twantme,.."Hervoicetrailedoff.

"Iwantyou,allright,"hesaidcurtly."Ineverstopped.Damnit,woman,Iwastryingtodowhatwas

bestforyou!"

"Byturningmeoutinthecoldandleavingmetostarvetodeathforlove?"sheaskedicily."Thanks

abunch!"

Helookedawayuncomfortably."Itwasn'tthatwayandyouknowit.Ithoughtmaybeitv/asthe

novelty.Youknow,alonelymaninthebackwoods,"hebegan.

"YouthoughtIwashavingthetimeofmylifeplayingyouforafool,"shesaid.Herheadwas

beginningtohurt,butshehadtowrapitallupbeforeshegaveinandaskedforsomemore
medication."Well,youlistentome,QuinnSutton,I'mnotthetypetogoarounddeliberatelytryingto
hurtpeople.AllIeverwantedwassomebodytocareaboutme—justme,nottheprettygirlonthe
stage."

"Yes,Iknowthatnow,"hereplied.Hebroughtherhandtohismouthandsoftlykissedthepalm.

Thelookonhisfaceweakenedher."Soyouwantaring,doyou?Itwillhavetobesomething
sensible.Noflashydiamonds,evenifIcouldgiveyousomethingyou'dneedsunglassestolookat."

"I'llsettleforthepaperbandonaKingEdwardcigarifyou'lljustmarryme,"shereplied.

"IthinkIcandoalittlebetterthanthat,"hemurmureddryly.Hebentoverher,hislipshoveringjust

abovehers."Andnolongengagement,"hewhispered.

"Ittakesthreedays,doesn'tit?"shewhisperedback."Thatisalongengagement.Getbusy!"

Hestifledalaughashebrushedhishardmouthgentlyoverherdryone."Getwell,"hewhispered.

"I'llreadsomebooksrealfast."

Shecoloredwhensherealizedwhatkindofbookshewasreferringto,andthensmiledunderhis

tenderkiss."Youdothat,"shebreathed."Oh,Quinn,getmeoutofhere!"

"Attheearliestpossibleminute,"hepromised.

ThebandshoweduplaterinthedaywhileQuinnwasoutbuyinganengagementringforAmanda.

He'dalreadycalledandlaughinglytoldElliotandHarrywhatshe'ddonetohim,andwasdelighted
withElliot'spleasureinthenewsandHarry'steasing.Hedidbuyheradiamond,evenifitwasa
moderateone,andagoldbandforeachofthem.Itgavehimthegreatestkindofthrilltoknowthathe
wasfinallymarryingforalltherightreasons.

Whenhegotbacktothehospital,therestofthesurvivorshadbeenairliftedoutandallbutoneof

themhadbeentreatedandreleased.ThenewsmediahadtriedtogettoAmanda,butthebandarrived
shortlyafterQuinnleftandraninterference.Hankgaveoutastatementandstoppedthem.Theroad
manager,asQuinnfoundout,hadgoneontoSanFranciscotomakearrangementsforcancelingthe
concert.

TheboysweregatheredaroundAmanda,who'dbeenmovedintoaniceprivateroom.Shewas

sittingupinbed,lookingmuchbetter,andherlaughingdarkeyesmetQuinn'stheminutehecamein
thedoor.

"Hankbroughtashotgun,"sheinformedhim."AndDekeandJohnsonandJackaregoingtohelpyou
downtheaisle.Jerry'sfoundaminister,andHank'salreadyarrangedabloodtestforyourightdown
thehall.Thelicense—"

"Isalreadyappliedfor,"Quinnsaidwithachuckle."Ididthatmyself.Hello,boys,"hegreeted

them,shakinghandsashewasintroducedtotherestoftheband."Andyoucanunloadtheshotgun.I'd

plannedtoholditonAmanda,ifshetriedtobackout."

"Me,backout?Heavenforbid!"sheexclaimed,smilingasQuinnbenttokissher."Where'smy

ring?"shewhisperedagainsthishardmouth."Iwantiton,sothesenurseswon'tmakeeyesatyou.
There'sthisgorgeousredhead..."

"Ican'tseepastyou,prettything,"hemurmured,hiseyessoftandquietinastill-gauntface."Here

itis."Quinnproduceditandsliditonherfinger.He'dmeasuredthesizewithasmallpieceofpaper
he'dwrappedaroundherfinger,andhehopedthatthemethodworked.Heneedn'thaveworried,
becausetheringwasaperfectfit,andsheactedasifitwerethethree-caratmonsterhe'dwantedtoget
her.Herfacelitup,likeherprettyeyes,andshebeamedassheshowedittotheband.

"Didyousleepatall?"HankaskedhimwhiletheothersgatheredaroundAmanda.

"Aboutanhour,Ithink,"Quinnmurmureddryly."You?"

"Icouldn'tevengetproperlydrunk,"Hanksaid,sighing,"sotheboysandIplayedcardsuntilwe

caughtthebus.Wesleptmostofthewayin.Itwasalongride.FromwhatIhear,"headdedwitha
levellook,"youandthatHalefellowhadanevenlongerone,bringingAmandaoutofthe
mountains."

"You'llneverknow."QuinnlookedpasthimtoAmanda,hisdarkeyesfullofrememberedpain."I

hadtodecidewhetherornottomoveher.Ithoughtitwasriskiertoleaveherthereuntilthenext
morning.Ifwe'dwaited,wehadnoguaranteethatthehelicopterwouldhavebeenabletolandeven
then.Shecouldhavedied.It'samiracleshedidn't."

"Miraclescomeinallshapesandsizes,"Hankmused,staringather."She'sbeenours.Withouther,
we'dneverhavegottenanywhere.Butbeingontheroadhaswornherout.TheboysandIwere
talkingonthewaybackaboutcuttingoutpersonalappearancesandconcentrat-ingonvideosand
albums.IthinkAmandamightlikethat.She'llhaveenoughtodofromnowon,Iimagine,takingcare
ofyouandyourboy,"headdedwithagrin."Nottomentionallthosenewbrothersandsistersyou'll
beadding.Igrewuponaranch,"hesaidsurprisingly."Ihavefivebrothers."

Quinn'seyebrowslifted."Aretheyallruntslikeyou?"heaskedwithasmile.

"I'mtherunt,"Hankcorrected.

Quinnjustshookhishead.

Amandawasreleasedfromthehospitaltwodayslater.Everyconceivabletesthadbeendone,and

fortunatelytherewerenocomplications.Thedoctorhadbeencautiouslyoptimisticatfirst,buther
recoverywasrapid—probablydue,thedoctorsaidwithasmile,toherincentive.HegaveAmanda
awayatthebriefceremony,heldinthehospital'schapeljustbeforeshewasdischarged,andoneof
thenurseswashermatronofhonor.Therewerearecordfourbestmen;theband.Butforallits
brevityandinformality,itwasaceremonythatAmandawouldneverforget.TheMethodistminister
whoperformedithadawaywithwords,andAmandaandQuinnfeltjustasmarriedasifthey'dhad
theserviceperformedinahugechurchwithalargecrowdpresent.

Theonlymishapwasthatthepressfoundoutaboutthewedding,andAmandaandQuinnandthe

bandweremobbedastheymadetheirwayoutofthehospitalafterward.Thesizeoftheband
membersmadethemkeepwellback.Hankgavethemhisbestwild-manglarewhileJackwhispered
somethingaboutthebandleaderbecominghomicidalifhewaspushedtoofar.Theyescapedintwo
separatecars.ThedriveroftheonetakingQuinnandAmandatothelodgemanagedtogetthemthere
overbackroads,sothatnobodyknewwheretheywere.

Terryhadgiventhemthebridalsuite,onthetopfloorofthelodge,andtheviewofthesnowcapped

mountainswasexquisite.Amanda,stillalittleshakyandverynervous,staredoutatthemwithmixed
feelings.

"Idon'tknowifI'lleverthinkofthemaspostcardsagain,"sheremarkedtoQuinn,whowastryingto
findplacestoputeverythingfromtheirsuitcase.He'dhadtogotoRicochetforhissuitandachange
ofclothing.

"What,themountains?"heasked,smilingather."Well,it'snotabadthingtorespectthem.But

airplanesdon'tcrashthatoften,andwhenyou'rewellenough,I'mgoingtoteachyoutoski."

Sheturnedandlookedathimforalongtime.Herweddingoutfitwasanoff-white,averysimple

shirtwaistdresswithasoftcollarandnofrills.Butwithherlonghairaroundhershouldersanddown
toherwaist,framedinthelightcomingthroughthewindow,shelookedthepictureofabride.Quinn
watchedherbackandsighed,hiseyeslingeringonthesmallsprigoflilyofthevalleyshewas
wearinginherhair—apresentfromamemberofthehospitalstaff.

"Oneofthenursesbroughtmeanewspaper,"Amandasaid."IttoldallabouthowyouandMr.Hale

gotmeout."Shehesitated."Theysaidthatonlyafewmencouldskithatparticularmountainwithout
killingthemselves."

"I'vebeenskiingitforyears,"hesaidsimply.Hetookoffthedarkjacketofhissuitandloosened

histiewithalongsigh."IknewthattheSkiPatrolwouldgetyouout,buttheyusuallyonlyworkthe
lodgeslopes—youknow,theoneswithnormalskiruns.Thepeaktheplanelandedonwasoffthe
lodgepropertyandout-of-the-way.Ithadn'tevenbeeninspected.Thereareallsortsofdangerson
slopeslikethat—fallentrees,boulders,stumps,debris,nottomentionthethreatofavalanche.TheSki
Patrolmarksdangerousrunswheretheywork.They'rethefirstoutinthemorningandthelastoffthe
slopesintheafternoon."

"Youseemtoknowalotaboutit,"Amandasaid.

"Iusedtobeoneofthem,"herepliedwithagrin."Inmyyoungerdays.It'sprettyrewarding."

"TherewasajacketHarryshowedme,"shefrowned."Arust-coloredonewithabiggoldcrossonthe
back..."

"Myoldpatroljacket."Hechuckled."Iwouldn'tpartwithitfortheworld.IfI'dthoughtofit,I'd

havewornitthatday."Hiseyesdarkenedashelookedather."ThankGodIknewthatslope,"hesaid
huskily."BecauseI'dbetmoneythatyouwouldn'thavelastedonthatmountainovernight."

"Iwasthinkingaboutyouwhentheplanewentdown,"sheconfessed."Iwasn'tsurethatI'deversee

youagain."

"NeitherwasIwhenIfinallygottoyou."Hetookoffhistieandthrewitaside.Hishandabsently

unfastenedthetopbuttonsofhiswhiteshirtashemovedtowardher."Iwastryingsohardtodothe
rightthing,"hemurmured."Ididn'tthinkIcouldgiveyouwhatyouneeded,whatyouwereusedto."

"I'musedtoyou,Mr.Sutton,"shemurmuredwithasmile.Amandaslidherarmsunderhisand

aroundhim,lookingupathimwithherwholeheartinherdarkeyes."Badtemper,irritablescowland
all.Anythingyoucan'tgiveme,Idon'twant.Willthatdo?"

Hisbroadchestroseandfellslowly."Ican'tgiveyoumuch.I'velostdamnedneareverything."

"YouhaveElliotandHarryandme,"shepointedout."Andsomefat,healthycalves,andinafew

years,Elliotwillhavealotoflittlebrothersandsisterstohelphimontheranch."

Afaintduskycolorstainedhishighcheekbones."Yes."

"Why,Mr.Sutton,honey,youaren'tshy,areyou?"shewhispereddrylyasshemovedherhands

backaroundtohisshirtandfinishedunbuttoningitdownhistanned,hair-roughenedchest.

"OfcourseI'mshy,"hemuttered,heatingupatthefeelofherslenderhandsonhisskin.Hecaught

hisbreathandshudderedwhenshekissedhimthere.Hisbighandsslidintoherlong,silkyhairand
broughtherevencloser."Ilikethat,"hebreathedroughly."Oh,God,Iloveit!"

Shedrewbackafteraminute,hereyessultry,drowsy."Wouldn'tyouliketodothattome?"she
whispered."Ilikeit,too."

Hefumbledwithbuttonsuntilhehadthedressoutofthewayandshewasstandinginnothing

exceptasatinteddy.He'dneverseenonebefore,exceptinmovies,andhestaredatherwithhisbreath
stucksomewhereinhischest.Itwassuchasexygarmentlowonherlace-coveredbreasts,nippedat
herslenderwaist,huggingherfullhips.Belowitwereherelegantsilk-cladlegs,althoughhedidn't
seeanythingholdingupherhose.

"It'sateddy,"shewhispered."Ifyouwanttoslideitdown,"sheaddedshyly,loweringhereyesto

hispulsatingchest,"Icouldstepoutofit."

Hedidn'tknowifhecoulddothatandstayonhisfeet.ThethoughtofAmandaunclothedmadehis

kneesweak.Butheslidthestrapsdownherarmsandslowly,slowly,peeleditawayfromherfirm,
hard-tippedbreasts,overherflatstomach,andthenoverthepantyhoseshewaswearing.Hecaught
themaswellandeasedthewholesilkymassdowntothefloor.

Shesteppedoutofit,somuchinlovewithhimthatallherearliershynesswasevaporating.Itwas

asnewforhimasitwasforher,andthatmadeitbeautiful.Atrueactoflove.

Shelethimlookather,fascinatedbytheaweinhishardface,intheeyesthatwentoverherlikean
artist'sbrush,capturingeveryline,everysoftcurvebeforeheeventouchedher.

"Amanda,you'rethemostbeautifulcreatureI'veeverseen,"hesaidfinally."Youlooklikea

drawingofafairyIsawinanold-timestorybook...allgoldandivory."

Shereachedupandleanedcloseagainsthim,shiveringalittlewhenherbreaststouchedhisbare

chest.Thehairwasfaintlyabrasiveandveryarousing.Shemovedinvoluntarilyandgaspedatthe
sensation.

"Doyouwanttohelpme?"hewhisperedashestrippedoffhisshirtandhishandswenttohisbelt.

"I..."Shehesitated,hernerveretreatingsuddenlyattheintimacyofit.Shegrimaced."Oh,Quinn,

I'msuchacoward!"Shehidherfaceagainsthischestandfelthislaughter.

"Well,you'renotalone,"hemurmured."I'mnotexactlyanexhibitionistmyself.Look,whydon't

yougetunderthecoversandcloseyoureyes,andwe'llpretendit'sdark."

Shelookedupathimandlaughed."Thisissilly."

"Yes,Iknow."Hesighed."Well,honey,we'remarried.Iguessit'stimetofacealltheimplications

ofsharingabed."

Hesatdown,tookoffhisbootsandsocks,stoodtounbucklehisbelt,holdinghereyes,andslidthe
zipdown.Everythingcameoff,andsecondslater,shesawforherselfallthedifferencesbetweenmen
andwomen.

"You'vegonescarlet,Mrs.Sutton,"heobserved."Youaren'tmuchwhiteryourself,Mr.Sutton,"she
replied.

Helaughedandreachedforherandshefelthimpressagainsther.Itwasincredible,thefeelofskin
againstskin,hair-roughfleshagainstsilkysoftness.Hebentandfoundhermouthandbegantokiss
herlazily,whilehisbig,roughhandssliddownherbackandaroundtoherhips.Hismouthopenedat
thesametimethathisfingerspulledherthighsagainsthis,andshefeltforthefirsttimethestark
realityofarousal.

Hefelthergaspandliftedhishead,searchingherflushedface."Thathastohappenbeforeanything

elsecan,"hewhispered."Don'tbeafraid.IthinkIknowenoughtomakeiteasyforyou."

"Iloveyou,Quinn,"shewhisperedback,forcinghertautmusclestorelax,togiveintohim.She

leanedherbodyintohiswithatinyshiverandliftedhermouth."Howeverithappensbetweenus,it
willbeallright."

Hesearchedher.eyesandnodded.Hismouthloweredtohers.Hekissedherwithexquisitetenderness
whilehishandsfoundthesoftnessofherbreasts.Minuteslater,hismouthtracedthem,coveredthe
hardtipsinawarm,moistsuctionthatdrewnewsoundsfromher.Helikedthat,soheliftedherand
putheronthebigbed,andfoundotherplacestokissherthatmadethesoundslouderandmore
tormented.

Thebookhadbeenverythoroughandquiteexplicit,soheknewwhattodointheory.Practicewas

verydifferent.Hehadn'tknownthatwomencouldlosecontrol,too.Thattheirbodiesweresosoft,or
sostrong.Thattheireyesgrewwildandtheirfacescontortedasthepleasurebuiltinthem,thatthey
weptwithit.Herpleasurebecamehisonlygoalinthelong,exquisiteoblivionthatfollowed.

Bythetimehemovedoverher,shewasmorethanreadyforhim,shewasdesperateforhim.He
whisperedtoher,gentlyguidedherbodytohisashefoughtforcontrolofhisownragingneedso
thathecouldsatisfyhersfirst.

Therewasoneinstantwhenshestiffenedandtriedtopullaway,buthestoppedthenandlooked

downintoherfrightenedeyes.

"Itwillonlyhurtforafewseconds,"hewhisperedhuskily."Linkyourhandsinmineandholdon.

I'lldoitquickly.''

"All...allright."Shefeltthestrengthinhishandsandhereyesmethis.Sheswallowed.

Hepushed,hard.Shemoanedalittle,butherbodyacceptedhiminstantlyandwithoutanyfurther
difficulty.

Hereyesbrightened.Herlipspartedandshebreathedquicklyandbegantosmile."It'sgone,"she
whispered."Quinn,I'mawomannow...."

"Mywoman,"hewhisperedback.Thedarknessgrewinhiseyes.Hebenttohermouthandcaptured

it,helditashebegantomove,hisbodydancingabovehers,teachingittherhythm.Shefollowed
whereheled,gaspingasthecadenceincreased,asthemusicbegantogrowinhermindandfiltered
throughherarmsandlegs.Sheheldontohimwiththelastofherstrength,proudofhisstamina,of
thepowerinhisbodythatwastakinghersfromrealityandintoaplaceshe'dneverdreamedexisted.

Shefeltthefirsttremorsbegin,andworkintoherlikefierypins,holdingherbodyinapainful

archasshefeltthetensionbuild.Itgrewtounbearablelevels.Herheadthrashedonthepillowandshe
wantedtopushhimaway,tomakehimstop,becauseshedidn'tthinkshecouldlivethroughwhatwas
happeningtoher.Butjustasshebegantopushhimthetensionbrokeandshefell,cryingout,intoa
hot,wildsatisfactionthatconvulsedher.Aboveher,Quinnsawithappenandfinallygaveintothe
desperatefeverofhisownneed.Hedroveforhisownsatisfactionandfeltittakehim,hisvoice
breakingonAmanda'snameashewentintothefierydepthswithher.

Afterward,hestartedtodrawaway,butherarmswentaroundhimandrefusedtoletgo.Hefelther

tearsagainsthishotthroat.

"Areyouallright?"heaskedhuskily.

"Idied,"shewhisperedbrokenly.Herarmscontracted."Don'tgoaway,pleasedon't.Idon'twantto

letyougo,"shemoaned.

Helethisbodyrelax,givingherhisfullweight."I'llcrushyou,honey,"hewhisperedinherear.

"No,youwon't."Shesighed,feelinghisbodypulsewitheveryheartbeat,feelingthedampnessof

hisskinonherown,thegloryofhisfleshtouchinghers."Thisisnice."

Helaugheddespitehisexhaustion."There'sanewwordforit,"hemurmured.Hegrowledandbit

hershouldergently."Wildcat,"hewhisperedproudly."Youbitme.Doyouremember?Youbitme
anddugyournailsintomyhipsandscreamed."

"Sodidyou,"sheaccused,flushing."I'llhavebruisesonmythighs..."

"Littleones,"heagreed.Heliftedhisheadandsearchedherdark,quieteyes."Icouldn'thelpthat,at

thelast.Ilostit.Reallylostit.AreyouassatedasIam?"hemused."IfeellikeI'vebeenwalking
aroundlikehalfapersonallmylife,andI'vejustbecomewhole."

"SodoI."Hereyessearchedhis,andsheliftedalazyhandtotracehishard,thinlips.Afterafew

seconds,sheliftedherhipswheretheywerestilljoinedtohisandwatchedhiseyeskindle.Shedrew
inashakybreathanddiditagain,delightinginthesuddenhelplessresponseofhisbody.

"That'simpossible,"hejoked."Thebooksaidso."

Amandapulledhismouthdowntohers."Damnthebook,"shesaidandheldonasheansweredher

hungerwithhisown.

Theysleptandfinallywokejustintimetogodowntodinner.Butsinceneitherofthemwantedtoface
havingtogetdressed,theyhadroomservicesendupatray.Theydrankchampagneandatethick
steaksandwentbacktobed.Eventuallytheyevenslept.

Thenextmorning,theysetoutforRicochet,holdinghandsallthewayhome.

ChapterEleven

.ElliotandHarrywerewaitingatthedoorwhenQuinnbroughtAmandahome.Therewasabig
weddingcakeonthetablethatHarryhadmade,andaspecialpresentthatElliothadmadeHarrydrive
himtotowninthesleightoget—anewDesperadoalbumwithapictureofAmandaonthecover.

"Whatapresent,"Quinnmurmured,smilingatAmandaoverthebeautifulphotograph."IguessI'll

havetolistentoitnow,won'tI?"

"IevengotHankShoeman'sautograph,"Elliot

enthused."FinallyIcantelltheguysatschool!I've
beengoingnutseversinceIrealizedwhoAmanda
was."

"Youknew?"Quinnburstout."Andyoudidn'ttellme?Sothat'swhythattapedisappeared."

"Youwerelookingforit?"Elliotechoed.

"Sure,justafterwegothomefromthelodgethatnightIdesertedAmanda,"Quinnsaidwitha

ruefulglanceather."Iwasfeelingprettylow.Ijustwantedtohearhervoice,butthetapewas
missing."

"Sorry,Dad,"Elliotsaidgently."I'llneverdoitagain,butIwasafraidyou'dtossheroutifyou

knewshewasarocksinger.She'sreallyterrific,youknow,andthatsongthatwonaGrammywas
oneofhers."

"Stop,you'llmakemeblush,"Amandagroaned.

"Icandothat,"QuinnmurmureddrylyandthelookhegaveAmandabroughtscarletcolorintoher

hotcheeks.

"Youwereinthepaper,Dad,"Elliotcontinuedexcitedly."Andonthesixo'clocknews,too!Theytold
allaboutyourskiingdaysandtheOlympicteam.Dad,whydidn'tyoukeepgoing?Theysaidyou
wereoneofthebestgiantslalomskiersthiscountryeverproduced,butthatyouquitwithaplaceon
theOlympicteaminyourpocket."

"It'salongstory,Elliot,"hereplied.

"Itwasbecauseofmymother,wasn'tit?"theboyaskedgravely.

"Well,youwereonthewayandIdidn'tfeelrightaboutdesertingheratsuchatime."

"Eventhoughshe'dbeensoterribletoyou?"heprobed.

Quinnputhishandsonhisson'sshoulders."I'lltellyouforafact,Elliot,youwereminefromthe

dayIknewaboutyourexistence.IwaitedforyoulikeakidwaitingforaChristmaspresent.Ibought
stuffandreadbooksaboutbabiesandlearnedallthethingsI'dneedtoknowtohelpyourmother
raiseyou.I'dfigured,yousee,thatshemighteventuallydecidethathavingyouwasprettyspecial.I'm
sorrythatshedidn't."

"That'sokay,"Elliotsaidwithasmile."Youdid.""YoubetIdid.Anddo."

"Sinceyoulikekidssomuch,youandAmandamighthaveafewofyourown,"Elliotdecided."I

canhelp.MeandHarrycanwashdiapersandmakeformula..."

Amandalaugheddelightedly."Oh,youdoll,you!"ShehuggedElliot."Wouldyoureallynotmind

otherkidsaround?"

"Heck,no,"Elliotsaidwithgenuinefeeling."Alltheotherguyshavelittlebrothersandsisters.Itgets
sortoflonely,beingtheonlyone."Helookedupatheradmiringly."Andthey'dbeawfulpretty,if
someofthemweregirls."

Shegrinned."Maybewe'llgetluckyandhaveanotherredhead,too.Mymotherwasredheaded.So

wasmygrandmother,itrunsinthefamily."

Elliotlikedthat,andsaidso.

"HankShoemanhasapresentforyou,bytheway,"shetoldElliot."No,there'snouselookinginthe
truck,heorderedit."

Elliot'seyeslitup."Whatisit?Anautographedphotoofthegroup?"

"It'sakeyboard,"Amandacorrectedgently,smilingathisawe."Arealone,amooglikeIplay

whenwedoinstrumental."

"Oh,mygosh!"Elliotsatdown."I'vediedandgonetoheaven.FirstIgetagreatnewmotherand

nowIgetamoog.MaybeI'mrealsickandhaveahighfever,"hefrowned,feelinghisforehead.

"No,you'reperfectlywell,"Quinntoldhim."AndIguessit'sallrightifyouplaysomerock

songs,"headdedwithagrimace."Igotusedtoturnips,afterall,thattimewhenHarryrefusedtocook
anymoregreens.IguessIcangetusedtoloudmusic."

"IrefusedtocookgreensbecausewehadablizzardandcannedturnipswasallIhad,"Harry
remindedhim,glowering."NowthatAmanda'shere,wewon'trunoutofbeansandpeasandsuch,
becauseshe'llremembertotellmewe'reoutsoIcangetsomemore."

"Ididn'tforgettoremindyou,"Quinnmuttered.

"Youdidso,"Elliotbegan."Iremember—"

"That'sit,ganguponme,"Quinngloweredatthem.

"Don'tyouworry,sweetman,I'llprotectyoufromghastlyturnipsandpeasandbeans,"shesaid

withaquickglanceatHarryandElliot."Ilikeasparagus,soI'llmakesurethat'sallwekeephere.
Don'tyouguyslikeasparagus?"

"Yes!"theychorused,havingbeentheculpritswhotoldAmandaoncethatQuinnhatedasparagus

aboveallfoodintheworld.

Quinngroaned.

"AndI'llmakeliverandonionseverynight,"Amandaadded."Welovethat,don'twe,gang?"

"Wesuredo!"theychorusedagain,becausetheyknewitwastheonlymeatQuinnwouldn'teat.

"I'llgolivewithMcNaber,"hethreatened.

Amandalaughedandslidherarmsaroundhim."Onlyifwegettocome,too."Shelookedupat

him."It'sallright.Weallreallyhateasparagusandliverandonions."

"That'safact,wedo,"Elliotreplied."Amanda,areyougoingtogoontourwiththeband?"

"No,"shesaidquietly."We'dallgottentiredofthepace.We'regoingtotakeawell-earnedrestand

concentrateonvideosandalbums."

"I'vegotthisgreatideaforavideo,"Elliotvolunteered.

Shegrinned."Okay,tiger,youcanshareitwithuswhenHankandtheotherscomeforavisit."

Hiseyeslitup."They'reallcoming?Thewholegroup?"

"MyauntismarryingMr.Burning,"shetoldhim,havingfoundoutthattidbitfromHank."They're

goingtoliveinHawaii,andthebandhaspermissiontousethecabinwhenevertheylike.They've
decidedthatifIlikethemountainssomuch,theremustbesomethingspecialaboutthem.Ournext
albumisgoingtobebuiltaroundamountaintheme."

"Wow."Elliotsighed."Wait'llItelltheguys."

"Youandtheguyscanbeinthevideo,"Amandapromised."We'llfindsomewaytofityouintoa

sceneortwo."ShestudiedHarry."We'llputHarryin,too."

"Oh,no,youwon't!"hesaid."I'llrunawayfromhomefirst."

"Ifyoudo,we'llstarvetodeath."Amandasighed."Ican'tdocakesandroasts.We'llhavetoliveon

potatoesandfriedeggs."

"ThenyoujustmakeamoviestaroutofoldElliotandI'llstickaround,"hepromised.

"Okay,"Amandasaid,"butwhatalosstowomeneverywhere.You'dhavebeensuper,Harry."

Hegrinnedandwentbacktothekitchentocook.Ellioteventuallywanderedoff,too,andQuinn

tookAmandaintothestudyandclosedthedoor.

Theysattogetherinhisbigleatherarmchair,listeningtothecracklingofthefireinthepotbellied
stove.

"Rememberthelasttimewewereinheretogether?"heaskedlazilybetweenkisses.

"Indeed,Ido,"shemurmuredwithasmileagainsthisthroat."Wealmostdidn'tstopintime."

"I'mgladwedid."Helinkedherfingerswithhis."Wehadaveryspecialfirsttime.Arealwedding
night.That'smarriagethewayitwasmeanttobe;afeastoffirsttimes."

Shetouchedhischeeklightlyandsearchedhisdarkeyes."I'mgladwewaited,too.Iwantedso

muchtogotomyhusbanduntouched.

justwantyoutoknowthatitwasworththewait.Iloveyou,

reallyloveyou,youknow?"Shesighedshakily."Thatmadeitmuchmorethanmyfirstintimate
experience."

Hebroughthismouthdowngentlyonhers."Ifeltjustthatwayaboutit,"hebreathedagainsther

lips."Ineveraskedifyouwantedmetouseanything...?"

"SoIwouldn'tgetpregnant?"Shesmiledgently."Ilovekids."

"SodoI."Heeasedbackandpulledhercheekontohischest,smoothingherlong,softhairashe

smileddownintohereyes."IneverdreamedI'dfindanyonelikeyou.I'dgivenuponwomen.Onlife,
too,Iguess.I'vebeenbitterandaloneforsuchalongtime,Amanda.IfeellikeIwasjustfeverishand
dreamingitall."

"Youaren'tdreaming."Shepulledhimclosertoherandkissedhimwithwarm,slowpassion.

"We'remarriedandI'mgoingtoloveyoufortherestofmylife,bodyandsoul.Sodon'tgetany
ideasabouttryingtogetaway.I'vecaughtyoufairandsquareandyou'reallmine."

Hechuckled."Really?Ifyou'vecaughtme,whatareyougoingtodowithme?"

"HaveIgotananswerforthat,"shewhisperedwithasultrysmile."Youdidlockthedoor,didn't

you?"shemurmured,hervoicehuskyassheliftedandturnedsothatshewasfacinghim,herknees
besidehimonthechair.Hisheartbegantoraceviolently.

"Yes,Ilockedthedoor.Whatareyou...Amanda!"

Shesmiledagainsthismouthwhileherhandsworkedatfastenings."That'smyname,allright,"she

whispered.Shenippedhislowerlipgentlyandlaugheddelightedlywhenshefelthimhelpingher.
"Lifeisshort.We'dbetterstartlivingitrightnow."

"1couldn'tpossiblyagreemore,"hewhisperedback,andhishuskylaughmingledwithhersinthe