plik

Dreamcatcher 3

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Cursed at birth with the ability to perceive the dreams, memories,
and emotional states of almost everyone around him,

planeswalker Jacob Walker has never given a thought to himself.
After a harrowing war destroys his home plane, Morgana, he flees
to the Earth plane in search of a savior to restore peace to the

supernatural realm.

When he arrives, he is met with Alexander Craven, a fiercely

determined werewolf who believes himself incapable of love and
has spent his entire life training to return to Morgana and join the

fight.

Giving in to the pull of fate, Jacob and Alexander join their vastly

dissimilar souls, granting Jacob access to Alexander’s terrifying
strength and making Alexander vulnerable to Jacob’s oversensitive
psyche.

In the dark hours following the end of the great supernatural war,
their union may just provide Morgana with the hero it needs…if it

doesn’t destroy them first.

Note: Each book in this series features a different romantic couple.

Even though the Dreamcatcher collection by Ellen Ginsberg shares
an external story arc with the Songmates collection by Rayna

Bradbury, each series can stand alone.

Genre: Alternative (M/M or F/F), Paranormal,
Vampires/Werewolves
Length: 57,475 words

JACOB AT THE BREAK OF

DAWN

Dreamcatcher 3

Ellen Ginsberg

EVERLASTING CLASSIC

MANLOVE

Siren Publishing, Inc.

www.SirenPublishing.com

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A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK
IMPRINT: Everlasting Classic ManLove

JACOB AT THE BREAK OF DAWN
Copyright © 2011 by Ellen Ginsberg
E-book ISBN: 1-61926-000-X

First E-book Publication: October 2011

Cover design by Les Byerley
All art and logo copyright © 2011 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be
reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including
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express written permission.

All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance
to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

PUBLISHER
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com

Letter to Readers

Dear Readers,

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Ellen Ginsberg from BookStrand.com or its official distributors, thank
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Regarding E-book Piracy

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JACOB AT THE BREAK OF

DAWN

Dreamcatcher 3

ELLEN GINSBERG

Prologue

Fate was calling Jacob, so he followed it. Or, more to the point, he

chased it. He wasn’t much of a runner—none of the planeswalkers
were good athletes—but he didn’t have much choice. His breath was
labored and his muscles ached as he snaked his way through every
deserted back alley in vampire territory, staying as close as he could
to the path of that undeniable pull but trying his damndest not to get
caught. That was important, he thought, doubled over and panting as
he stopped for breath just outside the border of planeswalker territory.
Destiny wasn’t worth much if he got himself killed trying to fulfill it.

He knew that all too well.
“Sometimes I can almost see them watching us, Mitchell. Like

they’re here with us somehow. I think part of us is still on the Earth
plane with them. They look so sad when they see us. Maybe we’re
sick. Maybe we’re in a hospital. Or maybe we’re dead.”

“Not dead. Not dead, not dead, not dead. They can’t kill me.

Can’t kill Murdock. Even in death, they’ll feel my presence. I will not
let Morgana have its peace.”

“If you want a chance of peace when this is over, you have to send

him. Ben will come back when the war is over. He’ll be old enough to

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rule, and they’ll listen to him. His parents are dead. Mitchell is gone.
The wolves need a leader.”

Jacob clapped his hands over his ears to still the onslaught of

voices echoing through his head. All his life he’d heard voices and
seen visions. At times they seemed to be coming from the people
around him, fragments of their thoughts or dreams or emotions. Other
times, they seemed to come from far away, from another plane or
across the boundaries of life and death. He knew it wasn’t normal, but
he’d never quite let go of the idea that it was more than just a disease,
a mental illness or deficiency of some kind. He wanted to believe that
terrible cross he’d had to bear would be of use to someone someday.

Perhaps that time was now. He’d been hearing the voices more

and more since the war ended. Sometimes they were no louder than a
whisper, but today, they had risen almost to a scream. The cacophony
in his head was growing clearer, too, sharpening from an indiscernible
din into individual voices he could almost identify. The voices of
people the war had made famous. They had all played a part in it, as
heroes, or villains, or martyrs.

“Lying in a hospital in a deep, deep sleep. And this is just a

dream, Mitchell.”

“Can’t kill Murdock—”
“Ben will come back. Fate will call him back to Morgana. The

wolves need a king.”

Jacob glanced at the war-wrecked landscape around him, and he

could understand the truth of that last statement. The three species
that now inhabited the plane, the planeswalkers, werewolves, and
vampires, hardly trusted each other enough to coexist, let alone
rebuild the damages from the war. The werewolves in particular
didn’t trust the other species, not after the way Murdock, the vampire
king, had gotten planeswalkers to lure so many wolves back to
Morgana to serve as slaves for the vampires. Murdock was dead now,
killed by his own species, but there was no peace. The wolves didn’t
trust the vampires. They needed a leader of their own.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

The noise receded until a single voice ran through his head, one

that was faded, as if it were being broadcast to him through the past,
rather than some parallel present.

“Look up, sweetie. Step up on the ladder, Ben. You have to go

now. Mommy and Daddy would have wanted you to be safe. No, I
can’t go with you. I can’t go to Earth. Step up on the ladder, Ben.
Look up—”

Jacob looked up. The building in front of him stood on the

outskirts of vampire territory, one of the last high-rises Murdock had
commissioned before the war. When the war broke out, construction
had been indefinitely halted on the building, and the ladder now
leaned against a building half-finished. Someone had taken siege to
the old construction site during the war, and the top stories were now
missing. The ladder seemed to extend to nowhere, as if it were
leading to the sky.

“Climb up on the ladder, sweetie—”
Jacob climbed.
He wasn’t a fan of heights, but he climbed. Up and up and up,

until the sense of vertigo overwhelmed him and his knuckles were
almost white as they gripped each new rung of the ladder. He was
nearly to the top, but he didn’t dare look down. He had to—

“Look up.”
He looked. And then he had to look again.
From the ground, the streaks of white above him had seemed like

faraway clouds, but from this distance, he could see clearly that they
were the capped peaks of river rapids, moving from left to right,
appearing out of the sky and dissolving back into it, a wavering,
watery circle in the air.

The blue patch of sky above of him wasn’t a sky at all.
It was a river.
Jacob looked up through the watery glass ceiling above him. He

could see trees lining either side of the riverbed. And rocks. Lots of
rocks, he thought nervously, for some of them looked like they might

Ellen Ginsberg

catch on him painfully if he stepped through the gate. Jacob’s gaze
drifted upward to where he saw, towering above the river, a tall cliff
that was familiar to every planeswalker in Morgana, if only through
legend and dream.

Ecstasy Rock.
He was looking at the most famous—and least travelled to—plane

in the known universe. Everyone knew of the plane rumored to
possess few supernaturals, but he’d only heard rumors of a few who’d
made it through. Unlike other planesgates, the gateway to Earth never
stayed open for long. The locations of the gates were so obscure and
mysterious that the chances of stumbling upon them while they were
open were slim. Even those who actively searched for a gate to Earth
had always seemed to fail in spite of their efforts. If someone was to
cross the boundary into the mortal world, fate had to bring him here.

“Lying in a hospital bed on the Earth plane…”
“The war isn’t over. You can’t kill Murdock.”
“Fate will bring Ben back. The wolves need a king.”
Tentatively, he stuck a hand up to touch the watery sky above

him, and his stomach sank when he saw his hand disappear into
nothingness. Frightened, he pulled his hand back. He was twenty-two
years old, but he had never been through a planesgate. Fate was
urging him onward, upward, but his heart was pounding.

In the distance, he could hear a manic howling. The wolves were

out. Those who had stayed on Morgana after the war now roamed the
plane during the brief daylight hours, looking to pick off the sleeping
vampires and planeswalkers who had betrayed them during the war.
Even if Jacob had done nothing to hurt them, they would know his
relation to Murdock. If they found him, he was a dead man.

Again, he heard the howling, louder this time, piercing through

the chorus of ghostly voices in his head. He looked up once again into
the jagged rocks and rushing rapids then took one tentative step up the
ladder. Fate was calling him. The wolves were getting closer.

He had nowhere to go but up.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Chapter One

“Maybe you should start at the beginning.”
Jacob nodded. He understood the necessity of the command and

appreciated how gently it had been asked of him, but he wasn’t sure it
was something he could do at the moment.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to still the pounding in his head,

but it didn’t make any difference. The dull, throbbing ache had been
there for almost two days now, ever since he’d climbed through the
gate in Morgana and come out on Earth, gasping for air and getting
nothing but a mouthful of river water. In his mind’s eye, he’d gotten a
glimpse of life on Earth, just as all planeswalkers did when they
journeyed to an unfamiliar plane, but it hadn’t come out an organized,
digestible packet of information he could access and store as needed.
What Jacob got instead was a jumbled, chaotic mess that cut through
his aching head like a dull, useless knife.

River water. Watering can. Plants. Varieties of plant life, A-F.

Life or death. Nearest cemetery, Woodland Hills, corner of
Osteopathy and Jameson. Jameson Whiskey. Alcohol poisoning and
its treatments. Nearest hospital, Borderland College of Osteopathic
Medicine.

That last one, he’d been able to use.
“I came to the hospital,” he began, turning to the blond werewolf

who’d asked the question. Lars, he’d said his name was. His kind
green eyes urged Jacob to continue. “When I was on Morgana, I heard
these voices—”

“Lying in a hospital bed in a deep sleep—”
“I think we’re still on the Earth plane, Mitchell.”

Ellen Ginsberg

“What kind of voices?” Lars asked. Jacob knew what the look in

his eyes was saying. Lars, like everyone else Jacob had shared his
secret with, was trying to figure out if he was crazy. He’d half
wondered the same thing most of his life, even as he wandered
through the planesgate, following those ceaseless voices onto the
Earth plane and toward the nearest hospital. It was hard not to wonder
when everyone he’d ever known told him he was crazy, or as his
father used to say, diseased. True, he’d never met another
planeswalker who seemed to wander through life in the dreamy haze
he did, constantly plagued by other people’s ideas and emotions and
thoughts, but Jacob knew now those voices and visions weren’t
figments of his imagination. They belonged to someone else.

When those voices guided Jacob into this room and he saw who

was inside it, he knew beyond a doubt who those voices belonged to.
Mitchell and Adrianna Craven, leaders of the rebellion on Morgana,
hadn’t died in the war at all. They were right here, lying side by side
in hospital beds in a small, cramped room in Borderland Osteopathic.

Just like Adrianna told him they would be.
And the man who was standing in front of him was their son.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Jacob said. “You think I’m crazy,

but—”

The other werewolf, Danny, who had accompanied Lars, rolled

his eyes and jabbed Lars with his elbow. “He thinks everyone’s
crazy,” he said. “He’s a shrink.”

Lars gave Danny a reproachful look, but he smiled at the smaller

werewolf afterward just the same. There was something in that smile.
Jacob had never felt it himself, but he could sense emotions in others
if they were strong enough. And Lars felt something for Danny, so
strong it was almost palpable. It was love.

“He’s your mate?” Jacob asked.
Lars nodded. Danny smiled.
Jacob continued. “Then you should understand fate.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Lars’s lips thinned as he looked down at his parents lying side by

side in the hospital beds. From the fragmented voices Jacob had heard
whispered in his head, he knew Adrianna, too, had felt fate pulling her
across the planesgate to return to Morgana. Ten years ago, she and
Mitchell had tried to follow the call of fate across that treacherous
planesgate to the supernatural realm.

They hadn’t made it across. The only thing keeping them alive

now were the machines in the room, whose constant whirs and buzzes
and beeps signaled life stirring in the motionless bodies of the
revolutionaries. That dismal display was all they had to show for what
following fate had done for them.

Lars looked at his parents for a long time, and then he looked at

his mate. Danny looked back at him and smiled, and Lars reached
down and squeezed Danny’s hand. “I believe in fate,” he said quietly.
“Tell me what you need to do.”

“Ten years ago, your parents started a war on Morgana,” Jacob

said. “They rebelled against Murdock, and a lot of werewolves and
planeswalkers followed suit, leading a war against Murdock and his
vampires. Murdock is dead now—”

“Murdock is dead?” Lars asked, his eyes wide.
“You can’t kill Murdock.”
Jacob shook his head. “The war isn’t over. Or at least, there’s no

peace on Morgana. Murdock was killed by vampires, but the
werewolves who are left on the plane don’t trust the vampires on
Morgana anymore. They want to keep fighting. No one is there to
lead them, either. The last king of the werewolves died at the start of
the war, when his heir was only a boy. They sent him to the Earth
plane in the hopes that he would come back as a man to rule over the
wolves. And now I have to find him.”

Danny and Lars exchanged a glance, and Danny looked at Jacob

sadly. “I hate to disappoint you,” he said, “but there aren’t exactly a
lot of werewolves on this plane. I mean, there’s us, obviously, and
Lars’s brothers—”

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Jacob furrowed his brow, and Lars answered his unspoken

question. “Jasper and Alexander.”

Jacob nodded, committing the names to memory, and Danny

continued. “And there’s Ben, Jasper’s mate, but apart from that, none
of us have ever seen another werewolf.”

“Ben,” Jacob said. “Benjamin Morris?”
Danny’s nose crinkled. “It’s just Ben, but yeah. How’d you know

his name?” Anxiety seemed to creep into his eyes, and he leaned into
Lars, as if he needed protection from Jacob. He knew he was probably
scaring Danny, but he couldn’t help it. He knew something had led
him to the sleeping revolutionaries, but now he knew what.

“Can you take me to him?”
Danny seemed hesitant. “Why?” he asked. “Look, whatever you

want with him…I think there’s probably some kind of mistake. Ben’s
a good guy, but he’s just a—”

“Take me,” Jacob said. “I have to see him. It’s important. I don’t

know how long the planesgate will stay open, and I have to get back.”
Jacob looked down at his hands. They were shaking. He stood from
the hard, plastic chair he was seated in. “You don’t know how many
lives depend on it. The future of the entire plane—”

Lars laid a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down,” he said. “If you

say it’s important, we’ll take you to him.”

“It is important,” Jacob said, as calmly as he could manage. His

head was pounding, and the voices were back, slicing through the fog
of his brain with a single repeated sentence.

“We need a leader.”

* * * *

Alexander Craven was born to be a hero, and the time had come

to be one.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

He gripped the cell phone in his hand, pacing the kitchen floor

anxiously as Lars continued to tell him what he’d been waiting to hear
his entire life.

“His name is Jacob, and he says he’s a planeswalker. I mean, I

believe him. He knows all kinds of stuff about Mom and Dad, and
Morgana, and the war. Danny and I are leaving the hospital now, and
we’re bringing him back to see you and Jasper. And Ben. He says the
werewolves need a leader.”

Alex nodded, his throat dry, his heart racing, his head spinning as

he tried to process what he’d just heard. Jacob was a planeswalker. A
planeswalker could take him back to Morgana. Morgana needed a
leader.

Morgana needed Alex.
“I’ll be waiting,” he said, and he flipped the phone closed. He

took three steps toward the refrigerator, realized he didn’t need
anything from it, and turned and walked toward the study. For twenty
seconds, he managed to sit, perched on the couch with his back
straight and palms resting flat against his jittering knees. Then he
stood and walked out of the room. The hospital was less than ten
minutes from their house. In less than ten minutes, he was going to
meet his destiny.

Until then, he didn’t know what the hell to do with himself.
He stared into the kitchen, leaning restlessly against the entryway.

At six-two and two hundred and twenty pounds, his big, hulking
frame nearly took up the entire cramped entryway. He’d trained most
of his life to acquire that mass of muscle, but it hadn’t come in much
use until now, save for at the occasional odd job in construction or
bouncing a bar. Both his brothers, Lars and Jasper, had found mates
and invested themselves in careers here on the Earth plane. Jasper’s
income alone was enough to pay to keep their parents on life support,
and Lars seemed to take satisfaction in helping people overcome their
problems, but Alex’s skills here had been mostly relegated to cooking

Ellen Ginsberg

and cleaning. He spent most of his days training for battle, but as far
as his family was concerned, he was little more than a housemaid.

That was about to change.
Alex’s mother had been pregnant with him when she and his

father came here. He didn’t remember Morgana, but he’d heard story
after story about it when he was a boy, asking question after question
of his parents, even after he’d learned the answers by heart. It
comforted him to hear their stories.

His father was a warrior. His mother was a revolutionary.

Together, they were heroes. And Alex had every intention of being
just like them.

When Murdock, the vampire king, ascended the throne on

Morgana, he’d been mad about expanding the vampire realm, cutting
into the planeswalker territory and allowing his people to hunt the
planeswalkers almost into extinction. When they had been nearly
wiped out altogether, Murdock made a treaty with the leader of the
remaining planeswalkers. The vampires would stop hunting the
planeswalkers if they would lure werewolves back to the plane to be
enslaved as the vampires’ food source. The way werewolves’ bodies
healed naturally, they could provide a lot of blood, and the
planeswalkers would be safe from the predators that had hunted them
for all of time. They could rebuild. Renew their population. Flourish.
To deny what Murdock was offering them, they would have to be
angels or madmen.

Alex remembered his planeswalker mother, with her silken hair

and porcelain skin, as the most angelic woman he had ever known.
She was madly in love with his werewolf father, in spite of the fact
that interspecies relations were highly discouraged in the supernatural
world. Adrianna hadn’t given a damn about that because she was in
love, and people in love did crazy things.

Needless to say, she hadn’t honored the treaty.
Rather than bringing back weak, submissive wolves for

Murdock’s vampires to enslave and feed from, she and a band of

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

rogue planeswalkers had brought back strong warriors like his father
to fight back against Murdock and his vampires. When Adrianna and
Mitchell’s rebellion began a war on Morgana, they had every
intention of staying to see it through, to fight for what they believed
in.

That was when Adrianna found out she was pregnant with Alex.
Wanting to keep their son safe from harm, they fled to the Earth

plane, certain fate would someday call them back to Morgana, certain
that other planeswalkers would come after them to take the young
couple and their growing family back with them. No one ever came,
and eventually, Adrianna felt fate calling her and Mitchell to return to
Morgana again. Once more, they found themselves standing at the
planesgate, this time at the top of Ecstasy Rock, ready to plummet
down into the world that awaited her below.

Things didn’t exactly go as planned.
The front door creaked open, snapping Alex out of his reverie. He

straightened his shirt and ran a sweaty palm through his hair before he
turned and strode into the foyer to see the creature that would finally
bring him back to Morgana to finish what his parents had started.

Lars nodded to Alex as he made his way through the study to

greet them. “Alex, this is Jacob,” he said, clapping a hand to the
shoulder of the young man standing next to him.

Alex’s breath caught in his chest.
Jacob was beautiful.
For a split second, he almost stuck out his palm to shake Jacob’s

delicate hand, but then he remembered how goddamn sweaty he was
and instead settled for half a wave and a distressed smile. He brought
his hand down, wiping both palms on the front of his pants then
folding his arms protectively over his chest.

“Do you want to sit down?” he asked, gesturing toward the study.
Jacob nodded, and Alex breathed a sigh of relief.
He hadn’t planned on meeting his destiny with an erection.

Ellen Ginsberg

Jacob sat in the blue high-backed chair in the study, crisscrossing

his legs under him so that the entire chair seemed to engulf his small
body. He had the same porcelain skin Alex’s mother had, the same
frail frame that looked like it could be snapped in two if he weren’t
careful. There were marks on his face and arms, little scratches and
bruises, Alex guessed from going through the treacherous planesgate
that had nearly taken his parents’ lives, and Alex’s first instinct was to
pull Jacob into his arms where he would be safe after his dangerous
journey. Instead, he just sat across the room from him on the couch
and stared.

“They said your name was Alex,” Jacob began.
Alex nodded, lifting his eyes to meet Jacob’s. Christ, he felt like

an idiot. He probably had over a hundred pounds and at least ten years
on the poor kid, but something about the way he was staring at him
made him so nervous he could hardly speak.

“Yeah,” he finally managed. “My mom—Adrianna—she was

pregnant with me when she left Morgana, so I—”

“Then who’s Ben?”
Alex bristled at the way the smaller man cut him off. He wasn’t

sure what the hell Ben had to do with any of this. “Jasper’s mate,” he
said curtly. “They’re both upstairs.”

“Oh,” Jacob said. His forehead wrinkled in thought. “Where’s

your mate?”

Alex didn’t have time to respond to that slight before Lars

returned from the kitchen, handing Jacob a cup of tea with one hand
and balancing two beers in the other. He handed one to Alex and kept
the other for himself. Alex popped the top and took a drink. Lars’s
timing couldn’t have been better.

He watched his brother cross the room and sit down in one of the

other overstuffed chairs, next to where Danny was standing. Danny
glanced from Alex to Lars and smiled mischievously.

“Can I have a beer?” he asked.
“You can have a juice box,” Lars said with a smirk. “Minor.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

“Dick,” Danny quipped.
He started to walk away from him, but Lars tugged on his arm

with his free hand, pulling him back until he sat perched on the arm of
the chair, his legs dangling against Lars’s. Lars’s grip loosened on
him, and his hand slid down Danny’s until their fingers threaded
together. He whispered something in Danny’s ear, and Danny grinned
and blushed and leaned in closer to him.

Alex turned away from them, embarrassed.
It wasn’t that he had expected to find a mate on the Earth plane.

Like his parents, he’d always believed that fate would bring him and
his brothers back to Morgana, where he would find his mate. Up until
a few months ago, he’d firmly believed there weren’t any other
supernaturals on this plane at all. Then, eight weeks ago, Danny had
shown up. Two weeks later, Jasper had found a mate as well. Alex
had been delighted at first, figuring his own mate would show up and
sooner or later, someone or something would lead them back to
Morgana.

But the weeks passed, and nothing happened.
At least now he had Morgana to focus on.
He turned to Jacob. “So what’s the deal?” he asked. “You need us

to go back and finish the war?”

“The war’s over,” Lars said in what Alex recognized as his best

shrink voice. His eyes met Alex’s, and something in them begged him
not to freak out. It was a tall order when Alex heard the next words
out of his mouth. “Murdock’s dead.”

“What?” Alex roared, anger propelling him out of his seat. In an

instant, his claws had burst free from his fingertips and he felt his
canines drop from his jaw. When he saw Jacob in the chair in front of
him nearly spit out his tea in reaction, he ran his tongue over his
aching gums, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. When his
claws had begun to recede back into his fingers, he turned back to
Lars. “You could’ve told me over the phone, you know.”

Ellen Ginsberg

His younger brother merely shrugged in response, eyeing him like

he anticipated a temper tantrum. In fairness, it wasn’t far off base
from what Alex felt like doing. Instead, he let himself sink back onto
the couch, turning to Jacob with a decidedly more narrowed gaze.

“He was killed by other vampires,” Jacob said. “They seem all

right, even if most of the revolutionaries don’t trust them.”

The words hardly placated Alex. He bristled at the planeswalker’s

implication that vampires, any vampires, could possibly be all right,
and his heart skipped a beat at Jacob’s casual, unflinching use of the
word was. As if the weight of the past implied in that one little word
meant nothing to him. As if it didn’t imply some great epic battle
where lives were lost and terror reigned in a world far away, while
Alex slept soundly in his uneventful bubble, tucked safely away on
the Earth plane.

It wasn’t fair.
He clenched his fingers into fists, trying to keep his claws from

sprouting back out again and sticking into his palms. Murdock was
dead. The war was over, and whatever its outcome, Alex hadn’t had a
chance to fight in it.

His whole life, the promise of this day, the one where he met his

destiny, had calmed him, kept him cool and in control and at peace
with the world around him, no matter how little he felt he belonged to
it. He was a wolf. A warrior.

Now, for the first time in years, he felt dizzy and weak.
“So why are you here?” he asked, unable to keep the note of

disdain from creeping into his voice.

Danny began to open his mouth, but Lars shook his head at him

before he could speak. Alex wasn’t sure what the hell that little
interlude was about, but he was about damn sick of his brothers and
their mates pushing him out of the action like he was just some
fucking spectator.

He turned to Jacob. “Well?”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Jacob bit his lip as if he didn’t want to say the words. Finally, he

gave a sigh and spoke. “Can you get Ben?” he asked.

“And Jasper,” Lars added quickly, but Alex didn’t miss the

strange, placating smile his brother had shot him.

“What does Ben have to do with this?”
Jacob didn’t answer him. “Can you please just go get him?” he

asked. “There are some things I need to explain.” After another
warning look from Lars, he added, “To all of you.”

Alex sighed and stood from the couch, trudging upstairs to get

Jasper and his mate. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear much more of
what the planeswalker had to say, but he sure as hell intended to
listen. War or no war, Jacob was still his ticket off the Earth plane and
back to his home, his real home, where he could at least find his mate
and some semblance of a normal life. There might not be a war for
him to fight in, but there certainly wasn’t anything on Earth for him to
stick around for.

A terrible thought occurred to him just before he reached the

stairs, and he turned, unable to keep from blurting it out.

“Just tell me one thing,” he said. “You came here to bring us back,

right? To Morgana? I mean, even without the war, there must be
something…”

Jacob’s eyes dropped to the floor, and Alex felt the tremble creep

back into his hands. Fucking hell, he hadn’t felt this scared or anxious
since his parents’ accident. His voice had trailed off when he saw the
look on Jacob’s face, but his heart seemed to stop altogether when he
heard his response.

“Not all of you,” he said. “I’m sorry. I can only bring one person

across the gate.”

Alex glanced from Lars, to Danny, to Jacob again before slinking

up the stairs to get Ben. No one said a word further, but the looks on
their faces had told him more than enough to crush his spirit.

He wasn’t going to be the one to go.

Ellen Ginsberg

Chapter Two

Benjamin Morris, the great and powerful heir to the werewolf

throne, the one remaining hope for peace on Morgana, sat across from
Jacob on the couch in the Cravens’ study, fighting back tears as he
held his mate’s hand.

He was just a kid, a teenager. Probably not even as old as Jacob.
And Jacob was pretty sure he’d just ruined his life.
“I’m sorry,” he said uselessly.
“Why?” Ben said. “Like I said, I’ll go. If that’s how it is, I’ll go.”
His lip quivered as he said it, and Jasper stroked his hand over his

back to comfort him. He closed his eyes, as if he needed to block out
Jacob’s image to even feel his mate’s comfort.

Jacob, too, was starting to feel a note of emotion creep into his

throat. Some planeswalkers were wise, having visited so many
different worlds and understanding so much of what life was about.
Others, like Jacob, were just plain overemotional.

“I didn’t know,” he continued, his voice breaking. He tried his

best to steady it. “I mean, I knew you were mates, but I didn’t think
about—”

“It’s fine,” Jasper said, but there was a stiffness in his tone. “Can

you just give us a minute?”

Jacob nodded, sliding out of the chair he sat in. Walking to the

kitchen, he set his teacup in the sink before turning to the back door.
Absently, he headed toward it, not even sure where he was going. The
only thing he was certain of was that he had to get the hell out of that
house.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

He wandered aimlessly across the back porch and off it, through

the yard and into the woods behind it, shoving his hands deep into his
pockets as he let the events of the past hour wash over him.

He had told the brothers and their mates about the war. He had

told them about Murdock’s death and about what had happened after.
He had told them about how everyone on the plane had seemed to
almost sleepwalk through the day, their eyes glazed and murderous.
The whole somnambulant population seemed dead set on continuing
to fight with each other, almost as if Murdock had never died. He had
told them just how badly they needed Ben, and that Ben would have
to come with him as soon as possible. He didn’t know how long the
planesgate would stay open, or when he’d feel fate pulling him back
to it.

Hundreds of thousands of lives were at stake, he’d explained. Put

that way, the request he’d made of Jasper’s mate seemed like a small
one. Just uproot his life, abandon his mate, leave his home, make a
dangerous journey across a planesgate to a totally unfamiliar world,
and stay there forever to rule it—probably not without incurring some
opposition when the weres saw just how young and inexperienced
their new king was.

When Ben balked at the request, Jacob hadn’t known what the

hell to make of it. All he was asking was one person’s teeny, tiny little
life as a sacrifice to the greater good. Why should Ben give a thought
to his own life when the lives of so many others were at stake?

Jacob sure as hell hadn’t considered it.
But then, Jacob had never had much of a life to begin with.
Not only was his mind too much of a mess to ever maintain

friendships or relationships with others for long, there was one other
fairly significant detail that had pretty much squashed any chances he
had for a social life as he grew older.

Murdock was his father.
Before Murdock rose to power, most of the vampires on Morgana

were understanding of planeswalkers, even though the weaker species

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was essentially prey for them. It made sense, since Morgana vamps
had all been planeswalkers before they were turned. In those days, the
two species had lived mostly in harmony on the plane.

Murdock, however, had little sympathy for the race he once

belonged to, believing that the strong had a right to take whatever
they could in life, even at the expense of those who didn’t share their
strength. Jacob couldn’t help but worry at times that his father’s
fucked-up beliefs were his fault, an attempt to overcompensate for the
weaknesses of his son. Jacob, with his dreamy, wandering, mixed-up
mind, was an embarrassment to Murdock. An idiot. A head case.
Things had been so tense for so much of Jacob’s life, he hardly knew
what happiness was.

I love him, Ben had said of Jasper. Do you have any fucking clue

what that’s worth?

Jacob didn’t. Why should he? He’d never been in love. He

certainly had never been loved by anyone. It just wasn’t something he
expected to find. His parents certainly hadn’t been much help in that
department either. They weren’t even mates. He was just the product
of a quick and stupid fuck.

A mistake, his father liked to remind him. A living, breathing

mistake.

God help him, Jacob believed him. It was hard not to, when his

mind was such a useless piece of machinery he could barely think
straight enough to see what was right in front of him.

No sooner had Jacob thought the words than he plowed into a tree

outside a clearing. It was as if some cosmic joke had reached its
punch line and he was part of it. It figured, he thought sarcastically,
but his sarcasm left him when he saw what else was right in front of
him.

Alexander, the oldest Craven brother, had also come out to the

forest, although, from the looks of things, he hadn’t come out here to
think. Jacob swallowed down his fear as he watched the much bigger

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

man nearly rip the tree he stood before to shreds in one graceful
sweep of his claws.

Jacob tried his best to breathe as he watched Alex, shoulders

broad, biceps bulging, strike the tree again. Jacob may not have ever
been in love, but he was sure as hell turned on.

Unfortunately, he was also scared out of his mind.
He ducked behind a tree to watch the spectacle as Alex, both

terrifying and impressive in his fury, continued to lay waste to the tree
ahead of him, reeling back and attacking the tree with his claws and
ripping massive curls of bark off it in the wake of each angry swipe.
Briefly, Jacob recalled meeting Alex in the study. He had thought for
sure that the majestic man was Benjamin Morris. Alex’s massive
frame commanded attention and respect like none Jacob had ever
seen.

And then Lars had introduced him as his brother, and Jacob hadn’t

known what the hell to think.

For the rest of the time he’d stood in that study, babbling his head

off about the series of events that led him there, he hadn’t been able to
keep from looking at the bigger man, no matter how much Alex’s
shoulders tensed and his eyes narrowed when Jacob told him he
wouldn’t be making the trip to Morgana. Clearly Alex had made
himself ready for it, but it simply wasn’t what fate had in store for
him.

Or was it?
Jacob couldn’t help but wonder as he stood only inches from the

man, feeling his nerves jangle and his stomach sink and his face burn
like nothing ever had in his life. Not even the pull of fate had this
much influence over him. He didn’t think he could pry himself from
the view ahead of him if God himself had told him to.

Even in his human form, Alex’s carriage conveyed the power and

dominance that usually only came when a shifter’s inner beast took
over. Jacob was almost hypnotized by the sight, and his hand

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stretched out toward him, as if he needed to touch him to remind
himself what he was seeing was real.

Jacob’s hand brushed Alex’s shoulder, and the bigger man turned

and snapped at him. He squeaked out a reply, a rush of sorrys and I
didn’t mean tos, pulling his hand away from Alex even as he felt his
cock harden painfully from the rush of electric sparks that touch had
sent zipping through his body. Yep, he was turned on, all right, but
there was something else, too. A word that echoed through his head
loud and clear, cutting through the usual chaotic din and silencing it
with a single repeated word.

Mate.
Alex’s eyes had gone yellow, and their rough gaze over Jacob’s

body practically drew goose bumps out of his skin. He’d lived his
whole life on a plane full of bloodsuckers who viewed him as little
more than an after-dinner cocktail, but he’d never been so aware of
the delicate frame of his own body until now. Alex could probably
snap him in two if he wanted to, and with the anger burning in his
eyes, he looked like he wanted to.

But God help him, Jacob was desperate to touch him again.
Letting his cowardice win out over his libido, Jacob made a move

to leave, but Alex held his hand out to stop him. Jacob stared at it, at
the sharp points of the claws receding into his skin. They were
disappearing now as Alex promised not to hurt him. So Jacob was
safe. A sigh passed through him, but he didn’t know if it was from
relief or regret.

“What are you doing out here, anyway?” Alex asked.
Jacob swallowed, hugging the tree he’d ducked behind for

protection. What the hell could he say to that question? You believe in
fate, right? Because remember when I touched you a second ago? I
had this funny feeling you were maybe my mate, but since you
obviously seem to hate me for whatever reason and could probably
snap me like a twig if you wanted, I’m just gonna go ahead and fling

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

myself off a cliff and through the gate to Morgana, where many big
and scary wolves are, like you, very keen to tear my throat out.

Jacob winced. Now that he knew that Ben was not the big, beefy

warrior he’d anticipated, the idea of returning to the plane full of
pissed-off weres eager to take out their rage on Murdock’s son was
decidedly more terrifying. He’d expected the great Benjamin Morris
would be able to coax submission out of any troublemakers they
encountered, but having actually seen Ben, Jacob wasn’t so sure what
was in store for them. He could sense fate welling inside him to pull
him back to Morgana, and Jacob didn’t know how long the planesgate
would remain open. He had to go back, but for all he knew, those
pissed-off wolves could be waiting on the other side of the planesgate
when he returned, ready to tear him limb from limb.

God, what he wouldn’t give for someone strong to protect him.
He stared at Alex, standing in front of him like a Greek god with

muscles bulging out of the tight, thin fabric of his shirt. Jacob didn’t
intend to clear his throat and talk. The words just sort of came
tumbling out before he could stop them.

“I have to ask you something.”
“I thought you said you didn’t need me.”
“Morgana doesn’t,” Jacob said. God, shut up, he practically

shouted at himself for that one.

“Thank you,” Alex said tersely.
“Not right now, anyway,” he managed to explain, but he didn’t

get out what he’d meant to say, which was, but I really, really do.

“Keep rubbing the salt in my wounds.”
Jacob furrowed his brow, searching his mind for the right

connection that would tell him what the hell Alex had meant by that.
Salt…salt…salt water, water fountain, shower, shower sex, sex on the
beach—oh, hey, salt water again—beach scene from From Here to
Eternity, sex scene, sexy movie, porn…Wow, his brain was really not
working today.

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Jacob cleared his throat and tried his best to chase the thoughts

from his mind. It was relatively easy. All he had to do was open his
mouth and let words tumble out of it until his erection died of
embarrassment.

Unfortunately, after about five minutes of that, Alex was growling

at him again. “What did you need to ask me?” he asked.

Jacob felt his face grow hotter, and his eyes dropped to his shoes.

He waggled his toes inside them as he cleared his throat. Finally he
managed to bring his eyes to Alex’s again. “Can I…touch you?”

“Why?”
That single, clipped word deflated all of Jacob’s hopes in an

instant. Like a slowly dying piece of machinery, he sputtered out the
leftover thoughts, unable to finish the sentence. “I just…I wanted to
see if...I had this feeling…” He looked at Alex, the man he thought
was his mate. He’d been so sure of it, but now Alex shrunk
underneath his stare like even the weight of his eyes on him offended
him. Eventually he turned away.

Jacob didn’t have to learn the Earth word for what he was feeling.

It was the same on every plane. Rejection. “Forget it,” he said. “It’s
stupid. Anyway, I have to go.”

Jacob turned to walk away. He was already three steps from Alex

when a big, rough hand closed around his and lit up his whole body
with love and longing. “Wait,” said the voice from behind him.

Jacob waited.
His time on Earth was running out, but he waited.
One callused thumb stroked across the back of his palm. Instantly,

his eyes closed and his lips parted, as if Alex had switched on some
secret button inside him that had opened his entire body up to the big,
hulking man that held his hand so tightly. With his considerable
height and weight, Alex towered over Jacob, and he could still see a
ferocity in the werewolf’s eyes that only burned brighter with the
hunger Jacob saw in him now. Next to Alex, he felt small and scared
and vulnerable, but in spite of that or—who was he kidding?—

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

because of that, he wanted to forget the fact that he was on a fast-
running-out deadline and fall at his feet like a damn dog eager to
follow his every command.

He was his. Morgana could go up in flames for all he cared. So

long as Alex stood here next to him and held his hand, he wasn’t
letting go.

He’d wait forever if Alex wanted him to.
“Oh God,” Jacob gasped. He looked at Alex and was surprised to

see the same fear in his face that Jacob felt in his gut.

Alex nodded. “What do we do now?”

* * * *

Jacob didn’t respond to Alex’s question—or rather, he didn’t

reply to Alex’s question. The open-mouthed kiss Jacob planted on
Alex’s lips definitely registered as a response in his book, however
utterly unexpected it was.

For about thirty blissful seconds, Alex gave in to that kiss,

reveling in the way Jacob pressed one flat palm to the side of his
cheek as he rubbed his tongue against his. His other hand was still
tucked safely inside Alex’s. Their bodies pressed together, and the
tension that had been building inside Alex from the moment he’d seen
Jacob blossomed into a raw heat that spread across his body. Oh, God,
he wanted to fuck him.

Instead, he pulled away. “What the hell was that?”
Jacob raised an eyebrow at him. “Kiss?”
“Why?”
“Is that…not how sex gets started on your plane?”
Alex’s cheeks heated with embarrassment. It was an unfamiliar

feeling. He didn’t like it. He narrowed his eyes at Jacob. “Yeah, I
know what sex entails. I just…” He struggled with the words, coming
up with nothing. “Why?”

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“We’re mates,” Jacob said, his eyes searching Alex’s before he

could turn away. He could feel fear rising inside him, for one of the
first times in his life, and he didn’t want Jacob to see it in his eyes.
“So…”

He moved in toward Alex again, his small, soft hands creeping up

Alex’s chest. Alex backed away, nearly bumping his back into the
tree behind him. This time, Jacob kept his distance, and it took every
shred of control Alex had not to grab Jacob, turn him around, and
push him against that tree until the outline of his cock pressed against
Alex’s thigh.

It was just that he couldn’t.
“Look, you’re a planeswalker,” he began.
Jacob rolled his eyes. “I’m aware of that.”
“And I’m a werewolf—”
Jacob took a step toward him. “And your mom’s a planeswalker

and your dad’s a werewolf. I get it. It’s unorthodox, but I kinda
figured you of all people would—”

“I’m not prejudiced, if that’s what you’re suggesting,” Alex

snapped.

Jacob held up his hands in protest. “Okay. Fine. What is it then?”

He glanced down at Alex’s bulging crotch.

Alex snapped his fingers in front of his face. “Eyes up here.”
Jacob’s eyes widened as he did as he was told. “Sorry, I just…I

mean, obviously you’re interested, so…”

Alex let out a breath that he feared sounded more like a growl. He

could see Jacob flinch even at the sound of it. He searched his mind
for a plausible excuse as to why he was resisting what his cock so
clearly, embarrassingly desired. It was no use. All he could think of
was the truth.

In his thirty-one years, Alex had had exactly ten lovers. All of

them had been strangers, and all of those encounters had taken place
at a certain discreetly advertised club in Austin.

It was the closest place to Borderland that specialized in BDSM.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Jacob took another step closer to him, closing the distance

between them. His hand crept up Alex’s chest, and Alex had to bite
his lip to keep from kissing him.

“You’re not going to hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried

about,” Jacob said softly.

Alex closed his eyes, suppressing a shudder as he felt Jacob’s

fingers trace past his nipple. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”

It was exactly what he was worried about.
Until recently, Alex hadn’t given much thought to mating, always

conceiving of it as some faraway event that he’d have plenty of time
to prepare for when the time came. Even in the past weeks, when his
brothers’ matings had forced the issue to the front of his brain, he’d
always imagined that when he found his mate, his tendencies toward
dominance and punishment would recede and be replaced by other,
gentler desires, ones more appropriate for a lover he cared about and
intended to spend the rest of his life with.

Only now, Jacob was here, and his smart mouth and slender frame

as it leaned into Alex had done nothing but awaken every dominant
tendency he had. With a vengeance.

Jacob’s small hand had reached the curve of Alex’s collarbone.

Alex would have sucked the whole damn thing into his mouth if he
wasn’t so certain he’d probably snap it off.

He pushed the hand away.
Jacob replaced it, using his other to grab at Alex’s cock.
Alex growled. Furious, he grabbed at both of Jacob’s wrists,

turning him around to pin him to the tree. His breathing quickened as
Jacob’s body rubbed against his, either to get free or grind his cock
against Alex’s thigh. He wasn’t sure which, but in any case, he was
doing a bang-up job of the latter.

A slow, shaky breath escaped Alex. He breathed it right into

Jacob’s ear as he spoke, slow and steady. “Don’t push me, angel.”

Jacob smiled at the endearment. His hips didn’t stop moving for a

second, instead finding a slow, torturous rhythm underneath him as he

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ground his hard dick down his thigh and up until their cocks almost
touched. Alex’s eyes half closed and his mouth half opened with the
force of his need.

“Stop smiling, angel,” he said evenly. He didn’t know how he

managed to keep his voice so steady.

Jacob’s smile only widened. “Don’t call me that,” he said. “If you

don’t want me smiling.”

Jacob’s breath was hot and heavy against Alex’s cheek as he

leaned down to speak into his ear. Jacob’s wrists must have felt the
strain, but instead of squirming, he relaxed against Alex’s touch,
submitting to his firm hold, and it only aroused Alex further. He
inclined his head, only slightly, and it grazed Jacob’s lips. One soft
kiss caressed his cheek before those lips moistened and traveled down
his jaw. When they reached his neck, Alex was more panting than
breathing.

“I will call you whatever I want to call you,” Alex said against the

shell of his ear.

His voice still held a note of command, but even as he said it, one

hand slipped from Jacob’s wrist and slid down his arm to stroke his
hair. Jacob pressed his palm flat against Alex’s chest as he leaned in
to lick his neck.

The moist, wet muscle lapped against Alex’s neck until it was so

hot and wet he thought it must have melted. He released Jacob’s other
wrist, snaked his hands down his back, and squeezed his ass. Jacob
moaned and wriggled under his touch, and his hands flew impatiently
to his fly to undo it.

If Alex could have turned him over and spanked him, he would

have. That was bad, he thought. Jacob wasn’t some sub in a BDSM
club. He was his mate. He didn’t want to hurt the delicate, angelic
man who called to him so completely, but he didn’t think he could
stop himself if he remained this close to him. Alex forced himself to
pull away.

“Okay,” he said. “That’s enough.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

“Yeah, right,” Jacob murmured as his hands began their advance

again.

Alex slapped them away. “I said watch it.”
He couldn’t help the roughness in the gesture or the anger in his

tone, and it only served to further prove to himself just how close he
was to losing control with Jacob. The smaller man held his ground,
though, not making a move to close the distance, but his eyes never
left Alex’s. There was a fire burning in those emerald orbs he hadn’t
seen before.

“Why should I?” he asked. “If you’re not going to claim me, then

why should I listen to you?”

Alex’s jaw fell open. He hadn’t been expecting that. He stared at

Jacob, unable to respond. He didn’t think the little twink had it in him.

Apparently unwilling to wait for an answer, Jacob squared his jaw

and turned to walk away. “Screw you,” Alex heard him mutter under
his breath.

He’d hardly taken another step before Alex caught his arm,

pulling him back, just as rough and dominant as he’d been with Jacob
a moment ago, if not more so. Jacob turned back to him, his eyes still
narrowed with anger, but he didn’t move a muscle in protest.

If Alex didn’t know better, he could swear Jacob leaned into his

touch. Alex didn’t want to be excited by that gesture of submission,
but God help him, he was.

“Do you have any idea how much you piss me off?” he said,

keeping his voice as low as he could manage.

“Probably not as much as you piss me off.”
The thwack of Alex’s hand echoed through the air before he even

knew he’d landed it on Jacob’s ass. The second he connected, Jacob’s
mouth fell open and a soft rush of air escaped his mouth, but he didn’t
say a word. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, and Alex
couldn’t keep from staring at it.

He shut his eyes. What the fuck was he doing? For the past ten

years, he’d managed to keep a tight control over his sexual

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proclivities, keeping whatever fucked-up urges he had secret from
everyone but the small smattering of one-night stands he’d hooked up
with. Even those few encounters, he could have taken or left.

Jacob was different, though. The moment he touched him, his

entire body had lit up with a need he’d never known before. Even
now, he could feel the gentle throb of Jacob’s pulse beating under his
thumb as he held the crook of his elbow. It was driving him crazy. He
loosened his grip, stroking that same spot as gently as he could. He
didn’t want to dominate Jacob, knew it would be wrong to take his
sweet angel in the rough way he’d taken his other lovers, but Jacob
called to the beast inside him and it yearned for the smaller man’s
submission.

Alex opened his eyes.
Jacob’s head was tilted upward, his body inclined toward Alex,

his green eyes bright as he let Alex hold his arm. The fiery look from
before was gone now, as if something in that touch had calmed him.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he began.
“I don’t mind if you hurt me,” Jacob said softly.
“Yes, you do.”
Alex firmed his hold again, and Jacob let him pull him closer, his

body still, his eyes drifting closed. Carefully as he could, Alex ran a
hand up the length of his torso and stroked the side of his face.
Jacob’s head inclined into his touch, his cheek resting against Alex’s
palm, his eyes still closed.

Alex, too, closed his eyes, reminding himself, pleading with

himself to be gentle with his mate. And then he kissed him.

Dropping his hand from Jacob’s cheek, he only had to touch the

bottom of his chin to tilt Jacob’s head into his and capture Jacob’s lips
with his own. For a moment, he lingered there, recalling the way his
wolf bristled under his skin the last time their tongues touched. He
would have to bite Jacob to claim him, but for now, Alex needed
control.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

It was a difficult battle. The second his tongue brushed those soft

lips, he drew the organ into his mouth, gently sucking it as Jacob
reached both of his small, soft hands up to cup Alex’s face. They
climbed up the back of his neck as he continued to kiss him. Jacob’s
shoulders arched upward, lifting his shirt up until Alex’s hand grazed
the smooth, bare skin of Jacob’s lower back.

Jacob moaned into Alex’s mouth, and Alex closed his big hands

over either side of Jacob’s abdomen, sliding them up and down the
sides of his stomach, grazing his pebbled nipples as they brushed up
over them then dropped back down again. Jacob’s hold tightened on
the back of his neck, and he writhed anxiously underneath Alex, as if
his very body was willing him to strip the shirt off over his head.

Alex wrenched his lips from his lover’s. “Take your clothes off,”

he said, cursing himself for the command in his voice.

Jacob did, his moments slow and shy. Alex’s heart pounded

erratically as he, too, shed his clothes, but it stopped altogether when
he saw Jacob standing naked before him.

He’d been captivated by the sight of Jacob from the start, but now

he was something else altogether. Just the strange, almost iridescent
way his skin shone in the moonlight was enough to lend an ethereal
quality to him, but there was also the thin build of his body, the ridges
and hollows so delicate they looked as if God himself had sculpted
them. He was striking, but there was something else about him that
marked him as not quite human, almost angelic in his beauty,
something he had no way of seeing before but was plain as day now.

He didn’t have a stitch of body hair anywhere on him. His chest

and armpits and—Alex choked down a dry swallow—his balls were
completely smooth. Alex couldn’t stop staring at him.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Jacob asked him, his eyes dropping self-

consciously to his body as he knelt carefully on the ground next to
Alex. “It’s um, a planeswalker thing? I’m sorry. I should’ve warned
you. I know wolves aren’t…” His face reddened as he trailed off. “I
mean, you have…hair.”

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Jacob’s eyes dropped to the sparse patch of hair that trailed from

Alex’s lower abdomen to his crotch. Naked as he was, it was
impossible for Alex to hide the fact that he was hard as a rock.
Jacob’s hand strayed slowly into the space separating them. It crept
up Alex’s thigh to his hip, stroking the hard muscles of his abdomen.
Alex sucked in a breath, tensing each one of the muscles as he felt it
touched by Jacob’s soft fingertips.

“You’re beautiful.” Alex’s eyes shot up to Jacob’s as he said it. “I

mean…”

Alex closed his hand over Jacob’s. “You too.”
It was suddenly becoming very difficult to live with the space

between them.

Alex wrapped one big arm around Jacob’s slender body to pull

him close. He gave easily under his touch, and his submission both
thrilled and terrified Alex, wanting to control his mate’s every
movement even as he chastised himself for the urge. Not here, he
thought, not now, with Jacob. Their mating was supposed to be
sacred, special. He managed to stay still as Jacob’s head dipped
toward his upright cock, but when he began laving it with his tongue,
Alex had to dig his sprouting claws into his palms to keep from taking
Jacob’s head in his hands and fucking his mouth. Just the sight of the
smaller man, sprawled out ahead of him on his hands and knees as he
fought to swallow him down, was enough to nearly snap Alex’s
control.

Jacob took him slowly at first, inch by inch, wrapping his hand

around the base of Alex’s cock to close the space his mouth couldn’t
reach. That small, soft hand stroked Alex up and down, working in
time with the firm suction of his mouth, while his tongue swirled and
danced around the tip of his cock. Alex closed one hand over his
shoulder and held it there as he fought the urge to guide his
movements, to feel Jacob surrender under his touch like a silent
promise of possession.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

He could see him growing needy. His chest heaved up and down,

but his free hand never flew to his own stiff dick. Instead, it ran up the
length of Alex’s thigh, rubbing and grasping at him, moving wildly as
if to signal his want.

Alex wanted to give him what he wanted, too, but he didn’t get

the chance. Jacob seemed to direct all his desire into pleasing Alex as
his mouth closed tighter over Alex’s cock. His head bobbed faster,
and Alex’s balls drew up tight against him. He groaned, unable to do
anything but delight in the sensation. “That’s it, angel. Touch my
balls.”

Jacob obeyed, his smooth grasp closing firmly over Alex’s sac.

When he pulled Alex’s swollen cock out of his mouth to lick his balls,
he couldn’t take it anymore.

Breathing hard and heavy, he pushed Jacob’s head away,

groaning. The sound drew a smile from Jacob’s face. “Good?” he
asked.

Alex nodded, trying to catch his breath. Too good. Pulling back,

he moved behind Jacob to get him ready. When he parted the round
globes of his ass to see his pink, puckered hole, he could see he had
his work cut out for him. He sucked his fingers into his mouth then
traced them around Jacob’s opening to slicken it. Centering a single
digit on it, he pressed down gently until it began to breach the hole.

Jacob whimpered. “You’re so tight,” Alex whispered.
“There’s been a war,” Jacob panted as Alex snaked a hand around

his hip to cup his balls, rolling them as he pushed the finger slowly in
then dragged it out again. “Haven’t”—he took a breath as Alex
repeated the motion—“you know. In a while.”

“How long?” Alex asked.
“A while,” he repeated, his whole body blushing at the admission.

His previously pale ass had turned pink.

Alex took up a steady rhythm, picking up speed until Jacob had

begun to rock back to meet his thrusts.

“More,” he gasped. “Please.”

Ellen Ginsberg

Alex added another slick digit inside him, and Jacob moaned, his

thin body twisting this way and that as he adjusted to the sensation.
God, he was so responsive. Alex had made men come before, but
there was a special pleasure he took in the way Jacob’s whole body
seemed to signal his need for his mate.

Mate. The very thought of the word flamed Alex’s desire, and he

drove Jacob harder, desperate to get him primed as he curled and
scissored his fingers inside him until his every exhale came out a low,
throaty moan. He withdrew his fingers, terrified that the force of his
wolf, pushing out from within, would become too great at any
moment. He wanted to fuck him just like this, pull his hair and smack
his ass and bite him until he screamed with pleasure, but Alex
couldn’t—wouldn’t—let himself do that.

He lay down on the ground. “Get on top of me,” he said, rubbing

his cock to spread the pre-cum over the tip. It was still slick from
Jacob’s spit.

Jacob looked at him, uncertain, but he knelt over him all the same.

He lined himself up and pushed down. His breath hitched when the
head of Alex’s cock entered him, and his face contorted with pain as
Alex felt him clench around him.

Alex stroked his thighs. “Breathe, angel.”
He did, in big, chest-heaving gasps. Slowly, he began to push

himself further down, even as his body seemed hell-bent on repelling
the motion. Alex winced as he watched Jacob’s pained expression. He
had hoped the position would make things easier on him, to give him
the control Alex didn’t trust himself to take, but Jacob’s discomfort
only seemed to grow as he struggled to fully seat himself.

“Relax,” Alex said. Jacob didn’t. If anything, he clenched harder.

Alex growled. “Really trying not to hurt you here.”

“I’m fine,” he said, wincing as he forced himself balls-deep. “Just

fuck me.”

Alex couldn’t stop himself. His hand sliced through the air and

landed on Jacob’s ass, pitching him forward with the motion. His

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

hands shot out to break his fall, and his ass thrust upward, exposing
itself as Alex landed a second blow. So much for self-control.

“I’m sorry,” Alex began, worriedly examining Jacob’s expression

for signs of hurt. Surprisingly, there were none. Relaxing around him,
Jacob pulled back and began to thrust himself down on Alex’s cock in
short, small bursts.

Alex kept his hips still as Jacob rode him. The modicum of

discipline he’d administered had done nothing but fuel his desire, but
he was determined not to let his need overtake him. Jacob continued
the slow, teasing ride, one hand jutting out ahead of him to gently
press on Alex’s chest. His eyes were uncertain as he took his pleasure,
and Alex wanted so badly to be a part of it. He wanted him pinned
and bound underneath him, wanted him at his absolute disposal as he
measured out pleasure and pain to suit his needs and will his lover’s
orgasm out of him.

God, he was a sick fuck.
Choking down his desire, he studied Jacob’s still-uncertain eyes.

“You’re okay?” he asked, rubbing his hands up his thighs and around
his ass and trying not to grasp it.

Jacob nodded weakly. “I’m close,” he said, “but—”
Alex nodded in understanding. They needed to mate. Werewolves

bit their mates during release to claim them. It was no wonder Jacob
was terrified.

Closing a hand around Jacob’s and drawing it to his mouth, he

kissed his finger. Even at the gentle touch, his canines began to cut
through his gums. “I’ll be careful,” he promised.

“It’s not that,” Jacob managed as Alex gently lapped the digit.

“You’re holding back.” His face contorted and his body shook as his
thrusts became more erratic. “You have to let go.”

At the sound of his command, Alex bit into the finger. Not as hard

as he wanted to, but both he and his mate cried out as his canines
pierced his skin and they came together. Alex reached down to milk
Jacob’s cock, drawing the rest of his seed out of him as Jacob rocked

Ellen Ginsberg

up and down above him, but the lines of worry on his face only
deepened with each new thrust.

It was strange. Alex could taste his blood in his mouth, and they

had sure as hell come together, but he didn’t feel the rush of
emotional connection that he’d heard was supposed to accompany
their mating, and the wound hadn’t healed like it should have. He
continued to kiss Jacob’s finger, worried at the trickle of blood that
was still flowing out of his skin, but Jacob pulled it away, not seeming
to want the comfort.

Alex could feel his cock start to soften as he looked up at him, his

beautiful face marred by the lines that creased over his brow. “What’s
wrong?” he panted. “We’re mated, right? I mean, I claimed you—”

“Yeah, you claimed me,” Jacob said, climbing off of him. “I

didn’t claim you.”

Alex furrowed his brow. Shit. He hadn’t even known

planeswalkers could claim their mates. They certainly couldn’t
administer mating bites with those flat, human-like teeth of theirs.
“Okay,” he said, his curiosity growing as he watched Jacob silently
pull on his clothes. “Why not?”

“I tried,” Jacob snapped. “You didn’t let me.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Chapter Three

Jacob’s finger was still bleeding as he buttoned his shirt, trailing

tiny dots of blood up each buttonhole he touched. The man who was
decidedly not his mate still sat on the ground, still infuriatingly naked
and gorgeous, studying him.

“Let me help you with that,” he said softly.
“No thank you,” Jacob said, turning from his prying gaze. It was

enough that he’d already given up so much of his heart, letting his
soul be penetrated by someone who’d rejected him at every turn. Now
that Alex had claimed him, Jacob was going to feel Alex’s every
movement toward and away from him for the rest of his life. Probably
away from him, Jacob thought bitterly, seeing how fiercely he’d
fought Jacob’s attempts to claim him and complete their bond.

Finally, Alex rose, grabbing his underwear to cover up that

glorious cock of his. Being naked after their mating went so horribly
awry had irked Jacob, but seeing his lover dress again just filled him
with sadness. God, he was a wreck. He blew out a shaky sigh and bit
his trembling lip as the memory of their lovemaking washed over
him.

The overwhelming need to claim, to mate, was overtaking Jacob

as he struggled to push himself down onto Alex’s cock. He could feel
the well of psychic force swelling inside him, and he cast the power
out to penetrate Alex’s mind, to feel himself enveloped by Alex’s
thoughts as he impaled Jacob, but Jacob couldn’t reach inside his
mate’s mind.

Alex was forcing him out.

Ellen Ginsberg

A moment ago he’d been playful and dominant, and Jacob could

feel their connection growing as their reciprocal needs fit into each
other like spoons. That snug fit, that delicate balance, had collapsed
when Alex repositioned himself, commanding Jacob to help himself to
his own pleasure. Jacob didn’t want to. He wanted Alex to give it to
him, to control for him when he could and could not have it. He
wanted to tell Alex, but there was something final in his tone that
defied refusal.

Whoever Alex was, whatever desires he had, he was masking them

from Jacob, trying his best to hide inside that impenetrable wall of
stoicism. Jacob whimpered, unable to lose himself in his lover’s mind
and feeling only the pain of Alex’s erection as it pushed inside
Jacob’s channel.

He needed Alex to release his desires to him, to give his mind over

to Jacob, almost as much as Jacob wanted to give his body over to
Alex. But he couldn’t, and Alex didn’t.

He bit him, and Jacob, who had always been weak-willed, came.

There was no union of souls, no emotional outpouring that was
supposed to accompany their mating, no glimpse into the thoughts
and images that haunted his lover’s mind.

Just a quick and empty fuck that was over as soon as it started.
Jacob willed his mind to push the memory away, and he startled to

find Alex’s arms around him. Half-dressed, the bigger man was
holding him, his naked torso pushed against the thin cotton of Jacob’s
shirt as he stood behind him, running his arms up and down Jacob’s.

“Can you just tell me what I did wrong?” Alex asked. “I just don’t

understand what—”

Jacob pushed his hand away. “You shouldn’t have had to.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed at Jacob’s overzealous gesture. “Look, I

don’t know how planeswalkers mate, okay? If there’s something I
missed, something you tried to get me to do—”

“I told you!” Jacob said. “I told you to let go!”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

“I did!” Alex said. His eyes flashed with yellow as his voice rose.

Taking a deep breath, he lowered his tone. “Obviously I came, so—”

“Yeah. That’s all you did.”
Alex shook his head. “Okay. You’re going to have to spell it out

for me, because clearly I’m not the brightest guy in the world.”

Jacob breathed a long, shaky sigh. It was embarrassing enough to

experience what had just happened. To explain it was something else
altogether. Still, Alex stood, arms folded over his broad, bare chest,
expression serious, commanding obedience.

“Tell me, angel.”
Jacob bit his lip. That single word snapped the thread of his

resistance, and he spread his arms wide as he readied his heart for the
chopping block.

“I thought you were my mate,” he began.
“I am,” Alex said.
“No, you’re not,” Jacob continued. As Alex opened his mouth to

protest, he raised a hand to silence him. “Look, if you were my mate,
then we’d be made for each other. Our bodies, our desires, whatever,
would be perfectly suited to meet each other’s wants and needs.”

He stopped, pausing as he raked his eyes over Alex’s broad

shoulders, his muscled abdomen, his wide, commanding stance. Alex
was perfection personified. And Jacob was a mistake.

He sighed. “I know I’m not the most…” He trailed off,

embarrassed. Gathering his courage, he continued. “I’m not the most
sexually exciting person in the world, but—”

“I told you you’re beautiful.”
“Whatever,” Jacob said, glad that he’d bothered to dress before

the time had come for this particular conversation. His weirdly
hairless, weirdly pale, weirdly skinny body might have been fine for
all his past boyfriends, who, as planeswalkers, had all looked like
him, but after Alex’s rejection, Jacob felt self-conscious as hell about
it. He didn’t want the gorgeous, muscular, manly-looking werewolf

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studying his decidedly less exciting nakedness any more than he
already had. “Look, I appreciate the white lie, but—”

“It wasn’t a lie.” Alex more growled the words than said them,

and Jacob swallowed around his fear. Liar or not, he certainly had a
way of convincing people. Pacing back and forth, Alex muttered,
“Why would you think it was?”

“If you wanted me,” Jacob said quietly, “like if you really needed

and desired what we were doing back there, I would have been able to
claim you. Planeswalkers mate by latching onto their lover’s needs.
It’s like a map of their souls. Their desires, their feelings, their
dreams? We get a little piece of all of that when we mate.” Jacob
paused, inwardly cursing himself for the reverence in his tone. It was
useless. “But I can’t have any of that if you don’t want me.”

Alex stopped in his tracks. His expression darkened, and Jacob

knew he’d hit a nerve. For a long time, he didn’t say a word. Finally,
he spoke. He stood ten feet away from Jacob, not making a move to
close the distance.

“I want you,” he said slowly.
Jacob laughed bitterly. “Well, then, I must just be a lousy lay,

because—”

“I didn’t say that,” Alex said darkly. The sun had set, and in the

moonlight, Jacob could see the glint of his claws pushing through
Alex’s fingertips. His eyes narrowed, his shoulders slumped, and his
anger exploded as he punched the tree next to him.

Taking a breath, Jacob backed away.
“This is fucked,” Alex said.
Jacob shook his head. “It’s fine. We’re just not mates.” Even as he

said it, he brushed his thumb over his punctured finger. The bleeding
had stopped, but his wound still pulsed with a dull, aching hurt. The
closer he got to Alex, the more it throbbed, the offset center of his
need. It was like a compass, feeling its way toward magnetic north.

Jacob turned away, his body tensing as if the gesture were

unnatural. “Look, people have been wrong about this before—”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

“Well, we weren’t,” Alex said quietly.
Something in the tone of his voice caused Jacob to glance up, and

he could swear for a second he saw the glint of a tear brimming in the
big werewolf’s eye. Alex huffed out a breath, and the glimmering
speck disappeared. As if that were enough to banish whatever shred
of emotion he felt for Jacob. As if that were enough to fortify himself
against Jacob’s unwelcome psychic assault.

Jacob’s own head was a mess of cosmic muddle. A thousand

conflicting impulses charged his mind and body, and he stood, rooted
to the spot, trying to sort through the mess, trying to settle on some
action that would make sense of what had just happened.

Gathering his courage, he approached Alex. The bigger man

shook his head and turned away, but Jacob pressed against him,
insistent. Even now, he could feel the growing hardness in Alex’s
jeans pressing against his own. Something in him still responded to
Jacob. But something in him resisted that response.

“Tell me what you need,” Jacob finally said, taking his chin in his

hand. “Tell me how to make you happy.”

For a bare second, Alex let Jacob hold him. Then he pushed away.
“What I need,” he said quietly, “you can’t give me.”
The words were too softly spoken to be harsh, but the intent

behind them was clear. Unlike Jacob, whose mind was a mass of
confusion and contradiction, Alex’s commanding and strong
demeanor suggested that once he made up his mind, he was a force to
be reckoned with. It was useless to fight him. Jacob pulled away.

“Okay,” he said quietly.
He took a step away from him. His body protested the gesture, but

he didn’t give a shit. If he stood there any longer, the bubble inside
his throat would burst and he’d cry like a banshee. Alex hadn’t let
him in his head. He hadn’t wanted him in there, possibly because he
sensed what a mess it was.

He wouldn’t have to put up with it much longer.

Ellen Ginsberg

Jacob turned and strode back down the worn dirt path. His knees

were shaking, but his feet worked fine. They carried him step by step
down the trail until he was standing at the top of Ecstasy Rock,
feeling once more the urge to jump off.

For a split second, he leaned over, eyeing the jagged rocks below,

and wondered how much of the urge was fate’s call and how much
was plain self-loathing.

Then he heard Ben’s footsteps behind him and steeled himself for

the rough and terrifying journey ahead.

* * * *

Alex stood there, numb, watching as Jacob disappeared into the

dark shadows of the forest in the night. When he turned away from
him, it was like the whole world had turned its back on Alex. In a
way, he guessed that was probably true.

What the hell else did he have left, anyway?
Not Morgana. Jacob had dashed that hope to the ground just about

the second he showed up. Not his family, either. He’d always hoped
that when his parents woke up, he could have done something to
make them proud of him, but that didn’t seem too damn likely
anymore. His brothers were busy with their mates. And as for his
mate…

Alex growled, dashing his claws one more time against the tree

he’d torn to shit earlier. It was a dumb animal thing to do, but then, he
was nothing more than a dumb animal. Every goddamn lay he’d had
in his whole stupid life, he’d treated like little more than a body to get
himself off with. Including Jacob, he reminded himself bitterly as he
recalled the hard smacks he’d landed against his ass and the callous
way he’d fucked him with his fingers. He’d tried his damndest not to
be such a selfish, uncaring prick when they mated, but even that had
ended in disaster.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Jacob couldn’t mate with him until Alex surrendered himself to

his needs. And he wouldn’t do that, not with his mate.

His needs were too fucked up.
He slashed at the tree again, drawing curls of bark as his claws

scratched across its surface. He winced at the pleasure that act of
violence brought him. Christ, he was screwed up. Even when making
love to his mate, he hadn’t been able to banish his need to dominate
and punish. And that sucked because he felt something for Jacob,
something more than even the pull of mating, something deep and
terrifying.

He cared about him. He barely knew the guy, but he cared about

him, so much the emotion might take root and blossom into love if he
let it.

Alex hadn’t thought he was capable of that.
Wasn’t capable of that, he reminded himself. He was a fighter, not

a lover. He’d known that all along. And no matter how much it hurt
him to tell that to Jacob, he couldn’t bear to let himself go. He
couldn’t bear to hurt him. And he would, he reminded himself, staring
at the deep gashes his claws left on the tree. He hated those damned
claws now, but more than that he hated his big, stupid, clumsy body
and the lifetime he’d wasted shaping it.

With a sigh, he let that body slip away and gave himself over to

the wolf inside him.

He ran. In spite of everything, it still felt good. Even if his human

life was over and he was good for little more than meeting the needs
of a dumb, hulking animal, he could still enjoy this. Racing through
the forest, he let every thought in his mind slip away except the snap
of leaves and twigs beneath his feet as they met on the dry ground,
barely even touching it as his muscles moved in perfect coordination.

He had always liked shifting. His whole life, it was the only thing

that made him feel truly free. As a human, his mind was constantly
plagued by worries. For his brothers, for their mates, for his parents
and whether he was protecting all of them and whether he was doing

Ellen Ginsberg

what he ought to be doing, but his wolf never had those concerns. He
just gave himself over to instinct and let it take care of the rest.

He wondered if this was what Jacob meant about giving himself

over and letting himself go.

His feet faltered underneath him on the thought, as if his very

body rejected it. Alex slowed to a trot and snorted. Leave it to his
half-human brain to ruin his moment’s peace by overthinking things.

He lifted his head, crossing to a path that cut its way through the

forest floor ahead of him. Stepping lightly onto it, he began to
recognize the foliage around him and realized where his wolf was
headed. It was the same place it always took him if he didn’t guide it,
a sort of magnetic north for his supernatural self.

Ecstasy Rock.
Alex skulked slowly up the trail to the cliff, the one he’d climbed

so many times before, searching for a glimpse of the planesgate his
mother had so often alluded to in his youth. Alex had often come up
this trail in the years since then, marveling at the strange fascination
the picturesque local make-out spot held for him. The pull that drew
him to the spot was at times nearly as strong as the one he’d felt when
he touched Jacob’s hand and the whole world seemed to condense
into the place where skin touched skin. For years, Alex had wondered
about that pull, imagining what it would be like, believing that
perhaps his own mate was waiting for him on the other side of the
planesgate, staring just as dreamily back at him through the invisible
boundary that divided their worlds.

That fantasy had dissolved altogether when Jacob turned his back

and walked away from Alex.

So why did he still feel that pull now?
He followed his instincts blindly, allowing his wolf to lead him all

the way to the top where he would see the breathtaking view where
the cliff looked out over the Devil’s River below. The whitewater
rapids were treacherous, too dangerous in this spot even for expert
rafters to navigate, and the shallow water and jagged rocks that stuck

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

out from the riverbed below the rock made the steep drop-off an
invitation to suicide.

It was just this spot where his parents had jumped ten years ago.

Unlike his brothers, Alex never stopped believing that there truly was
another world waiting on the other side of the dangerous waters
below. He knew his parents hadn’t intended to hurt themselves in
trying to pass back through the planesgate to Morgana.

It just wasn’t a very safe gateway to pass through.
Alex’s father had been physically fine as he was rushed to the

hospital. It was his mother’s fragile body that had nearly expired. She
had severe head trauma, several fractured ribs, and broken bones. Her
wounds had long since healed, but she and Alex’s father had been in a
coma ever since the accident. That his mother had survived the fall at
all had been a miracle.

Alex picked up his pace as he got closer to the top of the cliff. He

didn’t know why, but the image of the jagged rocks had set his wolf
into protective mode, and he approached the end of the path with his
ears and tail pointing straight out, his fur bristling up, his teeth bared.
He didn’t know why. He’d never seen another soul out here except
local love-struck teenagers, and they were usually much too absorbed
in their own torrid romances to even take notice of Alex, let alone
pose any kind of threat to him. As the top of the cliff crested in his
line of sight, he saw there were two young, thin figures holding hands,
standing at the edge of the cliff.

His heart fell into his stomach as he came closer and was able to

make them out.

It was Jacob and Ben, poised at the edge of the cliff, ready to

jump off. They would have to in order to go through the planesgate.
Ben would be fine. He was small, but he was a wolf, and any injuries
he suffered would heal right away. Jacob was a different story. Alex
had seen how cut-up his body was from passing through the other side
of the planesgate, had felt how delicate his body was in his strong

Ellen Ginsberg

hands, had seen how long his finger had bled just from the small nick
he’d bitten into it.

He’d never survive the fall.
Working every muscle in his body as hard as he could, Alex raced

toward them, leaping into the air as the two figures jumped off the
edge of the cliff. Alex shifted in midair, his bones melting and
reforming to allow his human arms to stretch out ahead of him and
grasp for Jacob’s body. He cradled him close as they free-fell through
the air into the waiting waters below.

“Alex,” Jacob gasped, wriggling in his touch.
Alex didn’t give him a damn inch, pressing him into his body,

cradling his head in the crook of his massive shoulder. They fell faster
and faster, velocity overwhelming Alex as he ground out two words
into the ear of his mate.

“Don’t. Move.”
He turned his back to shelter Jacob from the fall as they crashed

into the jagged rocks below.

Pain shot through him as the rocks cut into him, tearing skin and

muscle from his strong back. The strong current of the river was
fighting to pull them apart, and he struggled to maintain his hold on
Jacob as he sputtered against the crashing waves. Each hard stroke
against the current strained against the torn muscles and ligatures in
his back, even as his wounds tried to knit closed, but Alex gritted his
teeth and fought. He’d never had anything in his life worth fighting so
hard for.

He won the fight. His body was strong. He’d spent his whole life

conditioning it.

Alex kept one strong arm firmly wrapped around his mate as he

swam against the current to the riverbank. Finally, he pulled up,
dragging his mate onto the land with him, frantic to check him for
injuries.

Jacob coughed and sputtered as he stroked his hands through his

wet hair. He’d tried his damndest to keep him from the rocks, but it

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

was a hard struggle. Worse, there was blood all over him from the
injuries Alex sustained when he hit the rocks. His heart pounded
frantically as he stared at Jacob’s red-tinted clothes, wondering how
much, if any, of that blood was his.

“Fine,” Jacob sputtered. “I’m fine. I hurt, but—”
“Where do you hurt?” Alex asked. There were scratches and cuts

down Jacob’s arms he had only just noticed. He was terrified to find
how many of them were there.

“Scratched,” Jacob panted, “just scratches.”
Alex bit his lip as he lifted Jacob’s shirt to see a long, deep gash

running down his stomach. He shook his head, feeling tears brimming
in his eyes. “I fucked up. I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve
been able to keep you from getting hurt. I’m so stupid—”

Jacob cut him off, pressing a kiss to his lips. Alex sure as hell

hadn’t expected that, but he couldn’t help but accept it. He stroked a
hand through Jacob’s wet hair, cupping his head to press against him
just as gently as he could. He could give him that much comfort, at
least. Finally, Jacob pulled away, needing to catch his breath.

“We didn’t go through the planesgate,” he said.
Alex furrowed his brow. Until now, he hadn’t even considered

going through was a possibility. Now he wondered why they hadn’t.
He’d been physically connected to a planeswalker when they hit the
water, but something had held them back.

Before he had time to consider what that something was, Jacob

was pressing against him, shaking. “You saved me,” he said.

“Not yet.” Alex gently touched the skin around the gash on his

stomach and winced when Jacob flinched beneath him. “Let’s get you
to a hospital.”

Jacob nodded, but his eyes had drifted off, past Alex. “Where’s

Ben?”

“He’s fine. He’s a werewolf. We heal fast.”

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“Is that him?” Jacob asked. His eyes narrowed on a sight just past

Alex’s head. He turned to see what his mate was staring at, and Jacob
pointed to direct his gaze. “On that rock?”

Alex’s eyes widened as he spotted Ben sprawled out on a nearby

rock, his thin body limp, blood running down his head. He should
have healed by now, but he wasn’t moving, and the stiff way his body
was sprawled out didn’t look comfortable. He could see his chest
rising and falling, but something about the unnatural way he was
lying made him look dead. Either that or in a long, deep sleep.

That was when Alex realized what was wrong with him.
He was unconscious.

* * * *

Jacob squinted into the bright light above him as he took in his

surroundings. Halogen lighting. Hospital smell. Clean, stiff sheets.
Untouched food tray hovering above his bed.

And Alex’s worried eyes fixed on his as he sat in the chair next to

his hospital bed, holding his hand so tight Jacob thought Alex might
crush it if he tried to pull away.

But that was the last thing Jacob wanted to do.
“You’re awake.”
Jacob nodded, trying to sit up. He flinched when his ab muscles lit

up a fresh rush of pain from the gash in his stomach, and Alex hurried
to stroke a hand over his temple, urging him to lie back down.

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t—”
The concern on his face was precious, but it really wasn’t

necessary. “Alex, I’m fine. I’m barely hurt.”

“This is barely hurt to you?”
“Yes!” Jacob rolled his eyes. “I’m a planeswalker. I get hurt really

easily—”

“Yeah, exactly!”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

“—which means I’m used to it. And this,” Jacob said, gesturing to

his stomach, “is nothing. Trust me.”

Alex’s face hardened into a mass of rigid lines. He looked deep in

thought. Briefly, the words they’d exchanged before their mating
flitted through Jacob’s mind.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I don’t mind if you hurt me.”
“Yes, you do.”
Jacob stared at Alex, recalling the way his desire had seemed to

blossom as he landed two hard, punishing strokes on his bare ass.
Was that what this whole mess was about? Some misplaced worry
he’d been too rough with him?

Jacob stroked his thumb over the back of his hand. Tentatively, he

spoke. “I don’t mind a little pain sometimes.”

Alex let go of his hand abruptly. “Can we please just talk about

anything else?” he asked.

Jacob sighed, his eyes adjusting to the sights around him now. The

room itself was unfamiliar, but he’d been in one like it before, when
he waited alongside Adrianna and Mitchell Craven for some sign to
tell him what to do. He’d sat in this same hospital a long time, trying
to figure out how to make sense of the mess of his life, of the lives of
everyone who was still alive on Morgana after the war. When he
found out about Ben, he’d thought he’d found the answer.

So much for that.
“How’s Ben?” Jacob asked.
He could still remember the terrible way Ben had slumped in

Alex’s arms as he carried him out of the water. He knew for a fact
that wolves couldn’t really get hurt, not unless they were stabbed or
shot by a silver blade or bullet, and that whatever the fall had done to
Ben should have healed, but his head and stomach were bleeding, and
he wouldn’t wake up, even after Alex had gotten help and EMTs had
taken him out of the woods on a stretcher. They’d explained that he
must have hurt himself in the fall, but it didn’t look like he’d smashed

Ellen Ginsberg

his head on the rocks. The wound in his head was a sharp, rounded
point, like something had poked into it. Or stabbed, maybe, was more
like it.

Alex’s eyes flitted away from Jacob’s momentarily. “The doctors

are optimistic,” he said. “He’s still out of it, though. Jasper has a hell
of a theory of what happened. Have you ever heard of mates sharing
dreams with each other?”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, all planeswalkers do that.”
Dreaming was like planeswalking lite—a trip to another world

without the dangerous business of tumbling through a planesgate.
While Jacob’s body was safe and sleeping, he could visit any manner
of worlds his mind created. He had looked forward to sharing dreams
with Alex, to letting their shared inner lives create a private world of
their very own, but Alex didn’t look excited at the idea of
dreamsharing. He looked scared.

“What about nightmares? Have you ever heard of planeswalkers

getting hurt in their nightmares?”

Jacob furrowed his brow. Nightmare, nightmare…Nightmare on

Elm Street, Wes Craven, Alexander Craven, sex, hot sex, sweaty
sex…Nope. Nothing. “What’s a nightmare?”

“You know, like a bad dream.”
“Why would you have bad dreams?”
Alex’s face reddened. “Because people repress things!”
Jacob raised an eyebrow. “They do?”
“Yes!” Alex snapped. “Stupid shit happens all day long, and

people don’t like to think about it, and they push it out of their heads
as best they can until they fall asleep and don’t have other things to
focus on. Important things.”

“Yeah, but if something’s upsetting you, shouldn’t you—”
“I didn’t say me. Nothing’s upsetting me,” Alex snapped. His face

was red, and his eyes flashed the telltale yellow of his wolf’s. If he
wasn’t upset, he had a weird way of showing it. It reminded Jacob of

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

his father, of the way a certain word or phrase would seem to set him
off during the few times Jacob had seen him.

Jacob bit his lip as he realized he hadn’t yet told Alex who his

father was. He should. Alex would want to know, but…Jacob sighed.
He didn’t think his mate—if that was what Alex was—would like to
hear about it. Instead of telling him, he kept his mouth shut.

Maybe there was something to this repression thing after all.
“I don’t think planeswalkers have nightmares. Everyone does this

here?” Jacob asked.

Alex blew out a long sigh. “Yes. And when you wake up, you

comfort yourself that it’s just a dream. Except now that Jasper and
Ben are mated, dreams aren’t just dreams anymore.”

Jacob nodded. That seemed right. It wasn’t like dream sharing

was exactly like planeswalking—from what he understood, mated
planeswalkers never physically left their beds when they fell asleep
together. But he’d certainly heard of strange little paranormal
phenomena occurring when a particularly vivid dream was shared.
He’d heard of some mated planeswalkers who had brought things
back from their dreams into their waking reality, and of some who’d
made love in dreams and woken up with the love bites to prove it.

Those, however, were all pleasant enough tokens of shared

dreams. Jacob swallowed hard as he recalled Alex’s explanation of
nightmares. It seemed like he had certainly had them before. If Jacob
mated with Alex, would he share those nightmares, too? It was hard
enough for Jacob to get control over his thoughts during the daytime.
So much of what ran through his head was worry and anxiety. He
couldn’t imagine if all that fear was given free rein over his mind at
night. Especially if his mate got dragged into those fears with him.

Alex nodded. “Jasper had a dream this guy stabbed Ben with a

silver hook, right in the same place where his head was punctured. It’s
weird. None of us really know much about being half-planeswalker,
so we’re not sure—”

Ellen Ginsberg

Jacob held up his hands to stop Alex from taking the thought any

further. He didn’t want to dwell on the unpleasant idea. “I’ll talk to
Jasper.”

“Thanks,” Alex said. For a moment, he seemed to relax, but only

for a moment. Soon, those tiny lines of worry were creeping back
onto his face again. “He might be a little upset with you. You know,
about Ben?”

Jacob’s throat tightened. “I thought you said Ben was hurt because

of—”

“He is,” Alex said quickly. “It’s just that after what happened to

our parents…”

Jacob cringed, remembering what Lars had told him about why

Adrianna and Mitchell had fallen into unconsciousness. They had
jumped off the same cliff, into the same rocks. None of the brothers
seemed to know why they hadn’t made it across the planesgate, but in
light of their parents’ current conditions, Jacob’s decision to jump off
that cliff into the planesgate with Ben must have seemed like a
terribly callous one to Jasper.

“I didn’t think he’d get hurt,” Jacob said quietly.
“What about you?” Alex asked.
Jacob could feel the tears coming now, hot and fast and

impossible to stop. Damn it, he couldn’t cry now. He’d feel like an
idiot losing control of his emotions in front of Alex, but it was starting
to look like he wouldn’t have a choice.

“I’m not like you,” he said. His voice was shaking. “I don’t have

control over my emotions or actions. Stuff just overwhelms me, and I
can’t stop it. I don’t even know where it’s leading me half the time. I
just knew I had to go to the cliff, the same way I knew I had to—”

Mate with you. Jacob couldn’t stop the words from running

through his mind, but he managed to snap his mouth shut to keep
from saying it. Alex had made it perfectly clear how he felt about
being claimed by him.

“The same way you felt about me?”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Jacob dropped his eyes from Alex and fixed them on a point far

away in the room, a blank white corner of the wall. He hoped that
fixating on that nothingness would clear the crap from his head.

It didn’t.
“I have a lot of shit running through my head,” he said. “It doesn’t

always mean anything.”

“What I said back there…” Alex began.
Jacob bit his lip. He didn’t think he could hold back any longer.

He took a long, shuddering sigh and blew it out. “Just don’t.”

“I’m sorry.” Jacob’s eyes snapped up to Alex, and a tear slipped

down Jacob’s cheek. Alex reached up to brush it away. “I didn’t mean
it.”

“So why’d you say it?”
“Because I was scared.”
Jacob stared at Alex. With all the possible answers he’d been

expecting to hear—and his overactive imagination had concocted a lot
of them—he’d hardly even stopped to consider the possibility that the
big, hulking man before him, this warrior, this werewolf, could
possibly have been scared.

“Of what?” Jacob asked. Certainly not him. He barely weighed a

hundred and twenty pounds with his shoes on. Alex’s blue eyes
darkened and dropped to the floor. Jacob sighed. “Fine. Don’t
answer.”

“This isn’t easy for me.”
Alex growled and raked his hand through his hair. Instead of

smoothing it, the action caused a stray lock to fall over his forehead,
making him look sexier than ever. Too bad, because his mouth was
clamped shut as a steel safe. Jacob’s lips opened involuntarily, and
then he willed them closed again. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.

“What isn’t easy?” Goddamn it. Jacob winced. It looked like he’d

lost that battle.

“You know.” Alex’s shoulders heaved up and down as he sighed.

“Being…vulnerable. Or whatever.”

Ellen Ginsberg

Alex ran a hand up Jacob’s arm, leaving a long trail of electric

sparks in its wake. When he reached Jacob’s shoulder, he lifted his
hand to touch his face, but Jacob turned away. It wasn’t fair. He was
drawn to Alex, to his strength and his size, but not if it meant never
getting inside his head or knowing what he was feeling. Otherwise,
their mating would just be a one-way street.

“Jacob,” he said softly, but Jacob kept his head turned away. “I

want to be with you.”

“Well, too bad,” he said. “Because I don’t know how sex is on

your plane, but on Morgana—”

“Do you know what BDSM is?” That got Jacob’s attention. He

turned around, and Alex continued. “Or bondage? Or D-s, or—”

Jacob raised a hand to silence him. Hopefully it would distract

Alex from the way his cock was starting to tent out the sheets. “I’m
aware of BDSM.”

Alex heaved out a sigh. For a moment, he turned away from the

bed. When he looked back at Jacob, his muscles were tensed and he
was wincing. He’d never seen anyone look so uncomfortable. It was
as if Alex was about to confess to being a serial rapist or psycho
killer, but instead he closed his eyes, opened his mouth, and said,
“I’m kind of…into that.”

He only opened one eye to gauge Jacob’s reaction, as if he

couldn’t bear to see it with both. Jacob shrugged. “Okay, so…?”

“So it’s fucked up! And I don’t think I can ‘open up’ or whatever

without trying to…” He growled with frustration. “And obviously I
don’t want to hurt you or make you do something you don’t want
to—”

Jacob raised an eyebrow. “Who said I don’t want to—”
“Honestly, angel? You really don’t seem like the type.”
Jacob pursed his lips in thought. True, it wasn’t like BDSM had

entered into any of his past relationships, but that didn’t mean he
wasn’t curious. Especially now that he had someone like Alex to take
charge of him. Someone strong, dominant, sexy…He shook his head

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

to clear it of the thought. That line of thinking wasn’t going to deliver
him anything but a stiff dick.

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t give it a try,” Jacob

protested. His cock, in particular, seemed pleased with the idea.
“Anyway, I doubt you’d hurt me or anything. It’s not like you don’t
know what you’re doing, right?”

Alex’s eyes hardened. “I know what I’m doing. I just don’t know

how I feel about it. All the other guys I’ve done this with, they were
just strangers. I didn’t know anything about them other than that they
wanted to be dominated. I don’t want to do any of the screwed-up
stuff I’ve done with someone I actually care about.”

Jacob couldn’t help but smile at the way Alex had confessed to

caring about him. He considered what Alex had said. “Screwed up
how?”

“Can we please not talk about this?”
“I mean, are you just talking about bondage and spanking, or was

there like—” The growl that escaped Alex’s lips stopped Jacob from
taking that thought any further. “Okay, okay.” Still, he had to ask.
“But…I mean, they liked it, right?”

“Yeah, but—”
“And you liked it?”
Alex looked at Jacob, his handsome face marred by guilt and

embarrassment. Try as he might, Jacob couldn’t figure out why
Alex’s desires seemed to upset him so much, but it certainly seemed
like a sore spot. “It’s sick. And weird. And I don’t want to like it,”
Alex finally said, “but…damn it, I’m screwed up, okay? I don’t want
to screw you up, too. You’re too…” His brow furrowed, as if looking
for the right euphemism.

Jacob bit his lip. He had a feeling he already knew what Alex was

going for. “Weak?” he said, supplying the word for him.

Jacob was surprised when Alex shook his head no. “You’re too

perfect, angel.”

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Jacob certainly hadn’t expected that. A smile crept across his face

at the endearment. “Angel,” he repeated. “Why do you call me that?”

Alex shrugged, leaning over him to brush his hair off his forehead.

“Because you are,” he said.

Jacob’s eyes closed involuntarily at the words, but when he

opened them, his mate’s were full of worry again. Before he could ask
what was wrong, Alex’s fingertips gently grazed the deep, bandaged
gash his bangs had been hiding.

“Saw that, huh?” Alex nodded. His lips were pressed together so

tightly, Jacob doubted he could have responded if he wanted to. “I’m
fine. Trust me.”

“I don’t want you going back through that planesgate. It’s too

dangerous.”

Jacob bit his tongue. Alex was right. Even if Ben’s injuries hadn’t

exactly stemmed from planeswalking, crossing the gate was
dangerous. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if he killed himself trying
to do it, but Morgana needed Ben. Fuck, he needed Ben if he ever
planned on returning to his home plane. He could hide out on Earth a
while, but if he waited too long, the planesgate could close, and he
didn’t know how long it would be before it opened again. It seemed
like the Craven family had been waiting for a very long time for
someone to cross it and find them here.

“I have to go back sometime,” he said slowly, “but I can’t do

much until Ben’s awake. Or healed, for that matter. I don’t want to
hurt him any more than I have.”

“You never think of yourself, do you?” Alex asked. His eyes were

big and round as they stared into his.

“Maybe not.” Jacob smiled. He liked the way his mate was

looking at him. “We can try again, you know.” He paused, gauging
the look in Alex’s eye. It didn’t harden, and he didn’t pull his hand
away. “If you want.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Alex’s hand big hand closed over his. He felt warm and protected

with him holding it, but there was still worry etched on Alex’s face.
“What if I hurt you?”

“I trust you,” he said. Alex’s shoulders slumped a little, and he

seemed to relax. “Just don’t shut me out, okay?”

“No, I mean like literally hurt you. You seriously have no idea the

things I want to do to you. And you saw how big my cock is.”

Jacob felt his face flush as his own cock throbbed under the

suddenly much-too-thin hospital sheet. Yep, he remembered all right.
Leave him alone in here with the door closed and a box of Kleenex
and he’d remember it for maybe the next ten minutes.

“Are you blushing?”
“No. Maybe. Shut up.” Jacob cleared his throat and shifted under

the sheets before Alex noticed any other reactions his body had to
discussing his eight-inch cock. “And you’re awfully confident about
the size of erections on Morgana. You know, comparatively
speaking.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed. “Are you implying you’re accustomed to

larger erections?”

“What, are you kidding me?” Jacob snorted. “All my other

boyfriends were planeswalkers. Haven’t you ever heard anyone say,
‘He’s hung like a werewolf’ before?”

“Can’t say I have.” Alex’s eyes wandered down Jacob’s body to

the tented patch of sheet he was trying so hard to hide, and he
smirked. “And I have it on pretty good authority planeswalkers aren’t
so bad themselves.”

Jacob couldn’t see the dopey smile he felt spreading across his

face, but he was pretty sure it was there. He squeezed Alex’s hand.
“Can I kiss you right now?”

Alex leaned over and claimed his lips. Restricted as he was to the

clumsy hospital bed, he’d only meant to try for a peck, but once those
soft lips pressed against his, he couldn’t keep his from opening.
Alex’s tongue eagerly darted inside, and he could feel a hand running

Ellen Ginsberg

up his neck to pull his head closer. He gave in to the tug, leaning in as
close as he could, until his bruised elbow clanged against the bed rail.

“Damn.” Alex pulled away, his face full of worry as he examined

the spot he’d bumped. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Very okay,” Jacob sighed. Even the slow trace of Alex’s thumb

over his elbow was erotic. He didn’t want to claim his mate in a
hospital bed, but if he didn’t get out of there soon, his dick was going
to wage a serious protest against that sentiment.

“I should probably go, huh?” Alex asked. His voice was breathy,

and his hands were lingering dangerously close to the bulge in his
jeans.

Jacob nodded, his eyes locked on that thick denim bulge.

“Probably a good idea. You should see when I’m getting discharged.”

Alex nodded. “Anything you need while I’m out? Change of

clothes? Better food?”

Kleenex? Lube? Sex toys? “Nope.” Jacob shook his head

furiously, trying to get the words eight-inch cock out of his mind.
“Just um…close the door on your way out.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Chapter Four

Alex’s hand tightened around Jacob’s when Jasper walked into

the hospital room with Lars. Neither man looked happy to see Jacob,
but Jasper looked downright furious.

Jacob swallowed around the lump in his throat. “How’s your

mate?” he asked.

“Still in a coma,” Jasper snapped. “Thanks.”
Jacob bit his lip. “He’s a werewolf,” he said. “I didn’t think he’d

get hurt.”

“Or maybe you just didn’t think at all,” Jasper said.
“Jas, come on. Leave him alone.”
“Don’t fucking call me Jas. Only Ben gets to call me Jas, and

he’s…” Jasper voice wavered, and he wiped his eyes. Pulling his
hand away from them, he narrowed his gaze on Alex. “Fuck, what are
you doing with him, anyway?” He pointed to Jacob, and Jacob felt
his face flush. “Are you just so desperate for a mate that you—”

Lars’s hand closed around Alex’s shoulder and squeezed. Jasper

closed his eyes, his face strained with pain. When he opened them, he
looked back at Alex. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick,” he said.
His gaze narrowed again as it flitted to Jacob. “At least, not to you.”

Jacob swallowed down the lump in his throat that had formed as

the memory washed over him. He couldn’t help but be reminded of it
as he stared at the door to Ben’s room, looming large and terrifying in
front of him from where he stood in the hallway. He hadn’t seen
Jasper since that day, or any of the Craven clan except for Alex.

He couldn’t put it off any longer, though. Ben had woken up

yesterday—thank God—and Jacob had promised Alex he’d see him

Ellen Ginsberg

before he left the hospital. That didn’t exactly leave a lot of time,
since Jacob was getting discharged tomorrow. The hospital had kept
him a while, mostly due to some unusual blood tests his planeswalker
DNA had turned up, but the wounds from his fall were healing fine.

Now it was just the ones Jasper seemed ready to inflict on him

that he had to worry about.

Jacob stood up to peer through the window. Alex was supposed to

meet him, but he wasn’t there yet. That was unfortunate, but at least
Jasper wasn’t there. Jacob stood outside the door a moment, weighing
his options, before he swallowed his fear, opened the door, and
walked in.

The friendly laughter that he’d heard from outside the door came

to an abrupt stop as his footsteps echoed across the floor of the private
room and stopped in front of Ben’s hospital bed.

“Hi,” Jacob said. His throat was raw.
Two sets of eyes stared at him before sharing a look with each

other. Jacob didn’t know what was communicated in that look, but he
was betting from the guarded way Danny leaned back in his chair and
stiffened his jaw that it wasn’t good.

Not that he could blame them. Jacob sighed as the memory of his

meeting with Jasper and Lars again tugged at his conscience. He’d
been informed—politely by Lars and not so politely by Jasper—about
just how much both Ben and Danny had been through in the past
weeks. After meeting and mating the half-planeswalker brothers, the
two had both experienced more than just bad dreams with their
respective mates. Lars had been nearly killed by one of Danny’s
nightmares, Jasper had suffered injuries twice while dreaming with
Ben, and Ben had only just managed to pull himself out of his own
frightening dream state.

It wasn’t like either of them needed any more drama in their lives.
Jacob bit his trembling lip, not sure what to say. An apology, he

imagined, would probably be useful, but he wasn’t sure he could keep
his voice steady long enough to get one out.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Ben broke the silence. “Fancy meeting you here,” he said with a

smile. He didn’t look uncomfortable or out of it, but Jacob didn’t
know how well Ben could possibly be feeling. He might be awake
now, but his head was bandaged, and his arm was attached to an IV
drip. And that was all thanks to Jacob.

Briefly, he remembered how Ben had come to him up at the rock.

He’d shuffled up to the edge of the cliff, almost somnambulant in his
resolve to jump, but just before he had, something had permeated his
consciousness and he’d smiled at Jacob. All memory of how Ben had
lashed out at him when Jacob told him that he had to leave his mate
seemed to disappear with that smile, and Ben had taken Jacob’s hand
before they jumped.

He wondered whether Ben remembered that moment.
Ben smiled at Jacob, tentatively. “Next time you want me to go on

a trip with you, I’m totally campaigning for better travel
arrangements.”

“Or you could just not go at all.”
Jacob’s eyes snapped over to where Danny was sitting. Ben might

not be upset about what happened, but Danny’s eyes were dark, and
his cheek was puffed out, as if he’d stuck his tongue there to stop
himself from saying anything worse. Ben gave him a look, and he
sighed with frustration. “I’m just saying.”

“I’m really sorry about that,” Jacob said, his voice shaky. “If it’s

any consolation, I talked to Lars and Jasper, and they don’t think, I
mean, considering what’s been going on with you guys, with your
nightmares, that it was the fall that hurt you.”

“Probably didn’t help, though,” Danny added pointedly.
Jacob let out a ragged sigh as he struggled to recall the particulars

of his meeting with Alex’s brothers. He hadn’t meant to sound so
detached, so informative, but he was afraid if he didn’t focus on those
dry, factual details, he’d fall apart altogether.

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“Um, they think the fall knocked him”—Jacob turned his gaze to

Ben and corrected himself—“you unconscious. And then you had the
nightmare. And that’s where you got hurt.”

“So what?” Danny asked. “So that proves it’s fine to just drag him

off a cliff with you? That what happened isn’t your fault?”

“It is my fault,” Jacob said. “He wouldn’t have gone unconscious

if it wasn’t for me.” He turned to look at Ben, feeling one hot tear
slide down his face. “I’m really sorry.”

“Then I forgive you.” Jacob raised his eyes to meet Ben’s, but the

firm, kind resolve on his face didn’t waver. He smiled at Jacob. “Hey.
I was there, remember? You seriously have nothing to be sorry for.”

With that, the tears that had been welling in Jacob’s eyes the

entire meeting started to spill over. He’d barely talked to Ben before
rushing in to uproot his life, hadn’t even asked him if going to
Morgana was what he wanted or how it made him feel to leave his
mate on the Earth plane. When Ben had arrived at Ecstasy Rock, his
eyes glazed with the same somnambulant look Jacob had often seen
on planeswalkers back in Morgana when they were in the grip of fate,
he had merely nodded to Jacob once, taken his hand, and jumped.

But here Ben was, treating him like an old friend or a war buddy

or something.

It was a closeness that did not seem to be lost on Danny. “Yeah?”

he said. “Well, I don’t forgive him.” A low growl escaped his throat
as his hands gripped the bed rails so tightly his knuckles were nearly
white.

Ben shoved at Danny to push him away. “Next time you’re as

upset as he is, I’m going to be a total dick to you. Seriously.”

Danny glanced at Jacob’s teary eyes, and his face softened with

what looked like pity. “Damn it,” he grumbled. “Look, I didn’t mean
to upset you, I just—”

“It’s fine,” Jacob said, wiping his face. “I do this all the time.

Really. God, that’s embarrassing. I just…it gets really…um…because
I’m a planeswalker. You know?”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Ben stared at him blankly as he tried to gasp out a sentence

between sobs with no luck. “Um…no?”

Jacob sighed, taking a deep breath to try to calm himself. Just one

sentence. That was all he needed to manage. Finally, he settled on
one. “You have no idea what I’d give to be a werewolf sometimes.”
After another long breath, he tried another. “You guys probably never
cry.”

Ben snorted. “Are you kidding?” He jerked his thumb over at

Danny. “This fucker cries all the time. Probably because he listens to
so much emo.”

Danny kicked the bed with his foot. “Shut up,” he shot back, but

Jacob relaxed when he saw the reluctant smile on his face. “And I’m
not emo.”

“Then what’s with the skinny jeans, hipster?” Ben poked his hand

through the rails of the hospital bed to jab at Danny’s side, and he
jerked away. “What’s with the David Bowie shirt?”

“Oh my God, you’re such a dork. David Bowie is not emo. You’re

off by like thirty years.”

Jacob perked up at the name then glanced at Danny’s T-shirt to

see the familiar pale, made-up face plastered on it. Yep. They were
definitely talking about the same guy.

“I don’t know what emo is,” he said tentatively, “but David Bowie

is definitely a planeswalker.”

Once again, Jacob felt the heat of two sets of eyes staring at him.
“Sorry, could you repeat that?” Danny waved his hands in front

of his face as if he were trying to clear away a daydream. “For a
second there, I thought you said that David Bowie is…”

“A planeswalker,” Jacob repeated, but it did nothing to quell the

confusion in either set of rounded eyes before him. Jacob really
couldn’t figure out where the confusion came from after some of the
interplanal album releases he’d heard on Morgana. “I mean, come on.
The Man Who Fell to Earth? Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from
Mars? Did you really think that guy was human?”

Ellen Ginsberg

“You’ve seen The Man Who Fell to Earth?” Ben asked.
“You like Ziggy Stardust?” said Danny.
“Yeah.” Jacob shifted his gaze to a spot on the wall just behind

Ben’s head. He felt like a bug in a glass display. “Why?”

Danny raised his eyebrows at Ben, and a silent dialogue seemed to

pass between them. When it finished, Danny smiled and turned his
eyes to Jacob.

“Do you want to be our friend?”
Jacob could feel the familiar blush rising on his face, but this time,

it was from happiness, not embarrassment. He couldn’t help watching
a moment ago as the two friends had their moment together. It had
been forever since he’d been close enough to someone to do that. He
missed it.

“Okay,” he said.
It was funny. When Jacob came to the Earth plane, he’d been so

focused on what needed to be done for Morgana, he’d hardly
imagined he would find anything here for himself. Now he had two
friends and a mate. Well, almost a mate. Technically, they hadn’t
exactly worked out that whole mating process yet. Jacob furrowed his
brow. He wondered if there was any process for befriending people
on Earth.

“What, um…what does that entail, exactly?”
Ben smiled. “Come here,” he said, shifting in his bed to sit up

higher. “We’re going to teach you our secret handshake.”

* * * *

Alex stood outside the hospital’s sliding double doors, banging his

head against the building’s brick exterior. It hurt like hell, but at the
moment, it seemed a decidedly more comforting option than the
alternative, which was to be a man, go inside, pick up Jacob from
outpatient, and bring him home.

And then have sex with him.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Telling Jacob about his embarrassing predilections had been one

thing. But letting him experience them firsthand…A thousand and
one unpleasant scenarios raced through his mind chronicling the
myriad ways the single most important orgasm of his life could go
unbelievably, horribly, painfully awry.

He could hurt him. He’d never hurt a sub before, but he’d never

topped a planeswalker, either. Not to mention the whole letting go of
his inhibitions thing. Even when Alex had minded his inhibitions,
Jacob had seemed to consider sex with him more painful than
anything else. Which brought up the whole question of his
performance as a whole. He’d only had sex ten goddamn times in his
life. Well, eleven now. If you counted the whole mating debacle.
Which he preferred not to.

Alex banged his head against the brick wall again. Hard. It served

him right, given the monumental miscalculation he’d made in
spending all his time training for war and bloodshed when he
apparently should have been out with Jasper, rediscovering the Kama
Sutra.

Alex cringed. Not with Jasper, though. That…ugh.
“Man troubles?” came a gravelly voice from behind him.
As if Alex could be any more grossed out. “He’s my brother,” he

snapped.

“Who, the little cabana boy in room 303?”
Alex turned around abruptly to see the gray-haired head nurse

he’d passed a million times on his way to his parents’ hospital room.
Nurse Betty had kept a vigilant watch over the neurology patients for
as long as Alex had been coming to the Borderland Osteopathic
Hospital, but this was the first time he’d heard a single word from her.

It was a hell of an introduction.
“He’s not a cabana boy,” Alex retorted. He doubted the elderly

nurse had meant to offend him with the term, but Alex didn’t like the
idea of anyone thinking of his mate as some random twink he’d
picked up.

Ellen Ginsberg

Glancing at Betty again, he realized he wasn’t so sure how she’d

placed the two of them together at all. Sure, he’d visited Jacob an
awful lot in the past few days, but Alex had hardly assumed the
hardened old head nurse had taken much notice of the two of them, or
even pinned Alex as gay, for that matter. It wasn’t like he was in the
closet or anything. It was just that, given the nature of his past sexual
relationships, he tended to keep his sex life pretty private. Alex
furrowed his brow. Fuck. Maybe that did make him a sort of closet
case. He shook his head to chase away the thought. Not happening.
Not anymore. He didn’t want anyone thinking he was ashamed of his
angel.

He turned to Betty somewhat confidentially before asking, “Not

that you’re wrong about it, but what made you assume he’s my—”
Alex had to stop himself before saying the word mate. “Boyfriend,”
he finished lamely.

Nurse Betty raised an eyebrow at him. “Honey, I’ve seen you

walk past every nurse in this hospital who’s ever fixed her eyes on
you like she was damn near invisible. The only time I’ve seen
anything resembling the dopey-ass grin on your face you get when
you walk out of 303 was that time one of the neurology techs brought
in True Blood on DVD.”

Alex quirked an eyebrow at the woman. “You are really very

observant.”

She waved his compliment away with one hand. “You know, I

saw him, Mr. 303, about two, three days ago when he first came into
your parents’ room. Your brother and his cabana boy—”

“Danny’s not a cabana boy either.”
“—well, they came and collected him just when I was starting to

think he didn’t have anywhere to go. He just sat there like a puppy for
days. Left when visiting hours were over then came back again in the
morning, dressed in just the same raggedy clothes and looking like
death warmed over. I gave him a blanket and some Jell-O while he
waited on account of knowing he wasn’t gonna ask for anything. Only

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

time he bothered to push the call button was once when your mom’s
heart monitor went offline.”

Alex nodded. That sounded about like Jacob.
“He’s a keeper, that one,” Betty added. “Only person he doesn’t

give a damn about is himself.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Betty’s eyes rounded, and her lip curled in the expression of a

woman with a lifelong addiction to gossip. “Go on.”

Alex’s eyes dropped to his toes as he shuffled his feet

uncomfortably. He raised them to meet Betty’s inquisitive gaze. “It’s
kind of personal.”

“Fair enough,” Betty said. “But if this is about sex, I’ll just say I

probably know a whole lot more about that Jasper and his cabana boy
than whatever it is you’re not telling me.”

“He’s not a cabana—” Alex cut himself off, eyeing Betty.

“Really?”

Betty smiled. “And seen a lot more. For that matter.”
Alex smirked. That was fast. Ben had only regained consciousness

the day before. Granted, he and the others had teased Jasper about
rushing certain aspects of Ben’s recovery, but he hadn’t expected the
warning was actually necessary. He knew firsthand that the safety
rails on those hospital beds were a damned inconvenience. Which
meant Jasper was either very stupid or very desperate.

After the embarrassment Alex had suffered in the past few days,

he would be grateful to hear either. “Go on.”

Before Betty could open her mouth, a big hand closed over it.

“Not happening, Betty.”

Alex turned to see Jasper standing in the open double doors of the

hospital entrance. He smiled sardonically at Betty as he clapped a
hand to her shoulder, steering her toward the entrance to the hospital.
The gruff old nurse looked none too pleased. “Go peddle your damn
gossip somewhere else. And the next time you walk in Ben’s room
between rounds, I’m charging admission.”

Ellen Ginsberg

Betty rolled her eyes at Jasper. “I’ll be sure to alert the nurses.”
The double doors slid open to admit her as she stepped toward

them, but she turned back to Alex and said over her shoulder, “Best of
luck, sweet pea.” Then, narrowing her eyes at Jasper, she added, “At
least that one has the good sense not to jerk off in my ward.”

Jasper’s face reddened as Betty disappeared into the hospital.

Alex watched him with amusement. “I take it Ben’s made a full
recovery, then?”

Jasper scowled at him. “Fuck off.”
Alex leaned against the brick facade of the building. “Seriously,

though, he’s okay? I know I already said this, but Jacob feels terrible
about what happened. I mean, really, he—”

“It’s fine.” Alex wondered about the truth of that statement. The

low growl in his voice seemed to contradict his words. Jasper sighed.
“I mean, I was fucking pissed about it until Ben woke up, but I guess
they’re friends now. Him and Jacob and Danny.” His eyes darkened
with jealousy. “And you know how I’d hate to break up the fucking
Mickey Mouse Club.”

“For someone who used to sleep around as much as you did, you

are really weirdly possessive of your mate.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jasper said. “Look, it’s not like I’m jealous or

anything.” Alex quirked an eyebrow at Jasper, and he shoved his
hands into his pockets. “Look, all I’m saying is if Ben likes him, I like
him.” Jasper rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I don’t really have a choice,
do I? Ben can really be very persuasive.”

Alex smirked. “I heard. Although, you should probably save the

heavy petting for when Betty can’t walk in on you.”

“What were you even doing discussing my sex life with her,

anyway?”

Alex reddened. “Um…” He racked his brain, trying to think of a

reason he would have been standing outside the hospital talking about
sex with an octogenarian female. One that didn’t involve him

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

cataloguing to Jasper the details of his embarrassingly nonexistent sex
life.

Jasper waved his hand in front of his face. “Forget it. Are you

picking up Jacob? I was just headed home. I can give you a ride if you
want.”

“Um…” Alex stammered.
Jasper stared at him. “Is there a problem?”
“Um…” Alex stared at Jasper as he tried to regain the breath that

was slowly failing him. Jasper raised one dark eyebrow and curled his
lip into a smirk. “What kind of problem?”

From the bemused expression that had settled on Jasper’s face,

Alex could tell he’d already pieced together this had something to do
with sex. It wasn’t surprising. From what Alex could judge, Jasper
was always thinking about sex. His drug- and booze-laden youth had
been pretty much a twenty-four-seven orgy, and although the drugs,
booze, and orgies had disappeared with the advent of Ben, Alex had a
sneaking suspicion there was still an awful lot of sex happening. In
fact, he had more than an idea. His room was right next to Jasper’s,
and their house seriously needed soundproofing.

“I take it Jacob’s made a full recovery as well?”
Alex fixed his gaze past Jasper to where the hospital shuttle was

picking people up in the parking lot. If he made a break for it now, he
could just catch it and save himself from any further torture.

The shuttle pulled away, and Alex reluctantly glanced back at

Jasper. “Yeah,” he said finally. “He said he feels a lot better.”

“Really wasn’t what I was asking.”
“I’m not going to discuss my sex life with you.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re still going to deny me the details?

After all the shit I’ve told you? I’ve waited thirty years to see you get
the good deep dicking you deserve—”

“Jesus, Jasper!” Alex glanced around him, nervously, and then

lowered his voice. “I’m not getting…dicked.”

“Okay then, to give the good, deep—”

Ellen Ginsberg

“Obviously I’ve had sex before!” Alex blurted before lowering his

tone. “We’ve had sex already. Me and Jacob. It just…wasn’t…” He
winced, trying to find the words.

Jasper looked at him curiously. “Good?”
Alex growled. “Gentle.”
Jasper’s mouth rounded into an O, and he shut it respectfully.

After a moment’s silence, he said, “So you guys—”

“Yep.”
“And it wasn’t—”
“Nope.”
“And you didn’t—”
“Mate?” Alex sighed. “Not exactly.”
“And today?”
“Just waiting until we get back home.”
Jasper nodded. “Well.”
Jasper turned, facing straight forward, but Alex’s face burned

nevertheless like his brother was trying to peer right into his soul. He
hadn’t exactly meant to blurt his problem out like that, but there it
was. And it might be awkward as hell to admit it, but if he’d even half
listened to some of the stuff Jasper had drunkenly confessed to him
over the years, he’d probably be considerably better prepared to
handle this mess.

Still, it didn’t make it any easier to talk about.
“Gentle how?” Jasper finally asked.
Alex’s hands curled into fists at his sides, and he pounded them

against the wall behind his back. “I’m gonna fuck it up.”

Jasper squinted into the sun, sliding a pair of sunglasses out of his

pants pocket and slipping them on. “Well. I mean, there’s not exactly
a whole lot to fuck up. You know?”

“No, I don’t know. Look, I don’t expect you to understand this,

but it’s not like I have a whole lot of experience with relationships—”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Jasper rolled his eyes. “Oh, sure. Why would I understand that?

You know, I might have fucked around a lot, but it’s not like I ever
had an actual boyfriend before Ben.”

Alex continued. “—outside of BDSM clubs.”
“BDSM?” Jasper’s eyes widened, and Alex bristled at the twinkle

of amusement he saw in them. “Awesome,” he muttered under his
breath.

“Fuck you. Look, I get it. I got myself into this shit, and it’s my

fault, but you know, I kinda figured that when I met my mate, I would
be able to pull my head out of my ass and treat him like an actual
human being. Not a…” His mouth puckered with distaste. “Sex slave.
Or whatever.”

Jasper stared at him thoughtfully. “Does he want to be a sex

slave?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “You know, for a smart guy, you can be

really dumb sometimes. Think, Jasper. Do you want Ben to be a sex
slave?”

Jasper snorted. “I mean, sometimes…” Alex threw up his arms in

frustration. “Oh, for Christ’s sake. Look, he’s my mate. I get it. It’s
special. But that doesn’t mean you have to be—”

“Decent? Respectful? Considerate?”
Jasper shook his head. “Perfect.” A short laugh escaped his

mouth, and he rubbed his temple as if the very memory gave him a
headache. “The night me and Ben mated? I had to break him out of
some wacko’s mad scientist compound, which involved killing the
bastard, dealing with cops, trying for the very first time in my life not
to think with my dick, and then basically getting ambushed by a
mating bite. Which, for the record, kinda fucked both of us up for a
while.”

Alex stared at his younger brother. In spite of the torrent of idiocy

Jasper had spent most of his early adulthood engaging in, this was
probably the first time he’d seen the guy admit his own inadequacies.
It probably wasn’t his intention to do so, but he could see now that

Ellen Ginsberg

there were a lot of ways that being with Ben had straightened him out.
Even if, as Jasper suggested, the mating itself had been less than ideal.

“Okay, so even if the sex isn’t great—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Jasper shook his head, waving his hands in

front of him to dismiss the idea. “I didn’t say the sex wasn’t great.” A
big, doofy smile spread across his face, and his eyes glazed over.
“Actually, the sex was—”

“Really don’t want to hear about it.”
At Alex’s words, Jasper snapped his mouth shut. In the silence,

Alex couldn’t help but think of his own previous mating attempt. It
had been great, actually, for a moment. Until he’d fucked it all up,
that is.

He looked at Jasper, helplessly. “I’m gonna hurt him.” Jasper

opened his mouth to protest, but Alex cut him off before he could. “I
told you I was rough with him.”

“Okay, okay.” Jasper smirked. “Did he like it?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Jasper rolled his eyes. “God, you’re like a fucking virgin.”
“Shut up!” Alex turned from Jasper, pacing halfway down the

sidewalk away from the hospital entrance. It was only his outrage that
made him turn back. “And anyway, even if that wasn’t an issue, it’s
not like I’m mating a werewolf. He gets hurt. He doesn’t heal. Oh,
and for the record? Mating a planeswalker? Basically means dropping
all of your mental and emotional guards and letting him psychically
wander around in your head. Why should I let him in there? It’s my
head, not his.”

“And it’s his body, not yours,” Jasper countered. “Why the hell

should he give you that if you’re not going to offer him anything in
return?”

Alex could feel the hair on the back of his neck prickling. He

didn’t like to admit it, but Jasper had a point. And that ticked him off.
It ticked him off more when his brother took a step closer to him and
put a hand on his shoulder, peeking over the rims of his sunglasses to

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

look at Alex’s eyes. He was fuming so much now, they were probably
yellow as hell.

Still, his brother looked at him with a compassion Alex didn’t

expect from him. Alex had never been particularly close to either
Jasper or Lars, who were both brainier than him and had stopped
believing in Morgana the day of their parents’ accident. Alex had
never been part of the closeness they shared, and the rift between him
and them had only seemed to deepen in the past weeks since they both
found their mates, leaving him, as always, the odd man out.

Only now, here he was, soliciting brotherly advice. With a sigh,

he let some of the rigidness go out of his formerly tensed muscles,
inclining his gaze ever so slightly toward Jasper to indicate he cared
to listen to what he had to say. Kind of.

“I know you’re kind of an independent guy, and you like your

privacy, but you’re going to have to get used to this if you don’t want
to screw things up between you guys. Even if he wasn’t a
planeswalker, you’d still be able to share dreams, you’re going to feel
each other’s emotions, and you’re going to be sharing a soul from
now on. And if you don’t think you can handle that—”

Alex didn’t want to contemplate the end of that sentence. “I’m not

letting him go.”

Jasper patted his shoulder twice then pulled away from him.

“Well, I guess you have your answer then. I’ll go bring the car around
for you guys.”

And with that, Jasper turned on his heel and strode toward the

parking lot. He only got a few steps away before he stopped and
turned back.

“One more thing.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “If you

really don’t want to hurt him? I mean, physically?”

He glanced at Alex as if to gauge whether he was interested. That

snarky grin was on his face again, and Alex wasn’t so sure he wanted
to know the reason for it. Still, he was interested. “Go on.”

Ellen Ginsberg

Jasper’s smirk widened, but he hesitated, eyeing Alex as if he

were trying to gauge just how fast he needed to bolt out of the parking
lot if the bigger man decided to come to blows over what he was
about to say. Then he shrugged apathetically and said it anyway.

“I think you should let him do you.”
Jasper was halfway across the parking lot before the statement

registered and Alex bolted forward, ready to smack the smug, self-
satisfied expression right off his smiling face.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Chapter Five

“So…”
“So…”
Alex smiled at Jacob, and he tried his best to smile back, but it

was starting to get a little awkward. There were only so many times
they could both utter the word before the fact that they both still had
their clothes on became readily apparent.

Alex’s eyes drifted to his lap before fleeing determinedly away

from it as he quickly stood and paced across the room. “So this is my
room. It’s pretty basic,” he said, gesturing around the neat and
sparsely decorated space. “Dresser. Nightstand. Closet.” His voice
faltered a little. “Bed. Which you’re obviously sitting on.”

“Yep.” Jacob nodded, his throat dry. “Here I am.”
“Well, there it is then. You like it?”
“Very much,” Jacob managed. Alex’s hands may have pointed out

the various accommodations, but his eyes had remained fixedly on the
all-too-conspicuous bulge jutting out from his crotch. He didn’t know
how much longer he could take this.

“Should we get naked?” Jacob blurted.
“Yeah, okay.”
They shed their clothes wordlessly. Jacob was still sitting on the

bed, while Alex stood across the room from him. It had only been a
few days since he’d seen his mate’s magnificently muscled body
naked, but it still took his breath away. Slowly, he let his eyes wander
along every inch of Alex’s perfect frame until he reached his pale
blue eyes. He dropped his gaze in embarrassment, realizing the view

Ellen Ginsberg

was probably considerably less impressive from where Alex was
standing.

Alex didn’t take a single step toward the bed.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
Alex’s eyes dropped to his very impressive rock-hard erection.

“You really think I don’t want to?”

This time, Alex came closer. Jacob’s head swam as the distance

between them lessened to a fraction of what it was. Alex reached out
and grazed a hand across his cheek. “I told you you’re beautiful.”

“I know, but…”
The tide of memories swam back through Jacob’s mind, forcing

him to dwell on the last time they’d been this close. On the look in
Alex’s eye as he’d pulled away from him. On the cold wall of nothing
he’d felt as he’d tried to claim him.

Jacob bit his lip. “Can you say it again?”
Alex took him by surprise as he slid the patch of sheet away from

his thighs and crotch, leaving him exposed again. He turned his eyes
away as Alex’s heated gaze practically burned a hole through his
weirdly skinny, weirdly pale, weirdly hairless body. A hand steered
his chin back up until his eyes met Alex’s.

“You’re beautiful, angel.”
“Angel,” Jacob repeated in a whisper.
Alex nodded. “My angel. If you want to be.”
For a single, raw second, the flood of thoughts and memories and

dreams that ceaselessly swirled in Jacob’s head came skidding to a
halt, as suddenly as if the world had stopped spinning on its axis.
Suddenly there was nothing between the two of them but silence, so
palpable Jacob wondered how it was he couldn’t hear his heart trying
to thud its way through his chest.

Jacob nodded slowly, his eyes locked on Alex’s. He didn’t think

he’d ever wanted anything so badly in his life.

Two strong arms pulled him into their grasp, and Jacob was

suddenly lifted off the edge of the bed and laid back down underneath

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Alex. For a moment, he nearly opened his mouth to protest being
carried like that, but still…swoon. One of Alex’s hands stroked
through his hair and another slid down his side to clutch at his hip
bone as he settled himself next to him on the bed. Jacob’s hands, too,
shot out from him, darting across Alex’s broad shoulders and massive
pecs and the hard, cut lines of his abdomen.

God, he was ripped. Jacob was already dizzy with need just from

touching all those smooth, hard planes of flesh, but when he closed
his eyes and felt a moist wet path tracing its way down his own
stomach, he had to open his mind to every unsexy thought he’d ever
had just to keep from coming on the spot.

Garbage bags. Bag ladies. Any kind of lady. Heterosexual sex.

Sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex—

Alex spread his legs and dipped his head between them. Jacob

could feel his warm breath on his balls as he paused there, his thumbs
tracing tiny, exacting circles on the sensitive insides of his upper
thighs as if he were afraid to press any harder.

Jacob steeled his breath in and out as he glanced down to see the

hesitant look in Alex’s eye. “For the record?” he said, his voice
strained with need. “I’m pretty sure anything you do is going to feel
fucking amazing.”

One hand cupped his balls, and a slick wetness sucked his entire

length

inside it. Jacob whimpered as Alex pulled back all the way to

the tip and began to trace slow circles around his cockhead. He could
swear he felt every single blood vessel down there pulsing in time to
the staccato rhythm of his heartbeat as Alex began to work Jacob’s
dick in and out of his mouth. Jacob’s hands ran down to scratch up
and down Alex’s head as his tongue laved his entire length, darting
eagerly up to the tip and all the way down to the base.

Jacob spread his legs wider, lifting his ass off the bed as his hips

rolled in time to the long, slow laps Alex lavished on his cock. Every
other blow job he’d had in his life paled in comparison. There had
been something exacting about the way his previous boyfriends had

Ellen Ginsberg

chased his orgasm, wanting to get it over with as either foreplay or a
hasty afterthought following the main event. The exploratory way
Alex was working his every inch kept his body humming with need
and his mind humming with desire.

His desire.
He wasn’t used to feeling it.
All his life, it had been like a whole other world existed inside

Jacob’s head, unable as he was to keep himself from intuiting the
needs and wants and wishes of everyone around him. He’d hardly had
time to spare to give a thought to himself, but Alex had drawn that
need out of him, had sharpened it to a point that now pierced his
heart. It hurt to want something so personally, so much he could
hardly stand it.

He wanted to feel that need fulfilled.
When Alex sucked one and then another of Jacob’s balls into his

mouth, he couldn’t hold back any longer. “Please,” he panted. “Alex,
I need you.”

Alex pulled away, his head turning to kiss the crease of his thigh.

He didn’t dare push his head downward, but God, he needed so bad.
“I’m right here, angel.”

“Fuck me,” he breathed. “Please. Make me yours.”
Alex’s brows drew together, and he shook his head. “I don’t want

to hurt you.”

He crawled up the bed toward Jacob, and Jacob’s arms shot out to

draw him close, as close to him as he could get. “You won’t hurt me,”
Jacob said. Alex didn’t move, but Jacob wasn’t above begging.
“Please. Please, please, please—”

“Stop begging me!”
“Or what?” Jacob dared him. Alex growled, low and angry, and

his hands closed tight around Jacob’s thighs. He could remember the
way those hands felt, the way Alex felt when he’d let his resolve slip
and cracked his palm down on Jacob’s ass. He wriggled under Alex’s

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

touch, trying to get him to grab and smack his ass again. “Go ahead,”
he dared him.

Alex shook his head. “You can’t be like that.”
“How?” Jacob breathed. He was close to losing control. He just

needed a little push.

“Like a bratty little sub.” Alex growled again. It was not a sound

Jacob had ever expected to be erotic, but damn. Jacob had to remind
himself to breathe just to keep his head from spinning. “If we’re going
to do this,” Alex began, “I need you to listen so I won’t want to
punish you.”

Jacob thought he’d like being punished quite a bit, but if Alex was

going to give in, even a little, to what he wanted, Jacob wanted to help
him however he could. More than anything, he wanted to make him
happy.

“Okay.” He nodded. “I can do that.”
“And if I ask you to do something, I need you to do it.”
“Okay.”
“If I hurt you, you tell me to stop.”
“Okay,” Jacob repeated, but Alex only stared at him, his eyes

heavy with concern.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but if you piss me off—”
Jacob couldn’t keep the amusement out of his voice, recalling

what happened the last time Alex used that term. “You’ll spank me
again?”

“Don’t test me, angel.”
Jacob smiled, recalling Alex’s words in the hospital room. Do you

know what BDSM is? He locked his eyes on his lover’s, knowing full
well what his needs were.

“Yes, sir,” he said, smiling.
Alex’s eyes widened at the term, but then a wide, goofy smile

spread across his face before he cleared it. “Turn over,” he said, low
and commanding. He wasn’t trying to mask the note of domination in
his voice anymore.

Ellen Ginsberg

Jacob turned, pressing his face against the pillows and sucking in

a breath. He folded his hands underneath his head and closed his eyes,
feeling Alex’s hot, wet breath move down the small of his back. Fuck,
hadn’t he had already been played with enough? He didn’t know if he
could take this. He squirmed underneath the downward trail of Alex’s
tongue until a firm hand grasped his ass.

“Don’t move,” Alex commanded him. Jacob stilled. It was going

to kill him, but he did. He didn’t feel or hear anything else for a
moment until Alex added, “Unless I tell you to.”

Jacob grinned, feeling his cock harden painfully at the command.

It pressed into the mattress, stiff as a board as Alex tongued his way
down Jacob’s crease and parted his cheeks. He squirmed to push his
legs apart until Alex’s strong hands pressed into his thighs, holding
them still, even as they spread wide open.

“I said don’t move,” Alex told him. There was a warning note in

his voice, and for a bare moment, Jacob almost dared to test it.

Then he felt Alex’s hot, wet tongue plunge inside his hole.
He yelped at the sudden invasion, and he kept his mouth open,

letting it fix into a silent scream as he struggled to keep his back from
arching and his ass from pushing against the blinding rush of
pleasure.

Somehow, he managed to stay still, letting the sensations build

until they nearly overwhelmed him. Behind him, he could hear the
soft thwack, thwack of Alex stroking himself. Thank God. Jacob was
already so close he didn’t think he could hold out long enough to
bring Alex to the edge with him. Just when Jacob was certain he
couldn’t stave off his orgasm any longer, the wet pressure receded
and disappeared. Jacob breathed out a sigh. Then Alex’s tongue was
replaced by two insistent fingers pushing into him.

“Alex,” he panted as the fingers retreated, “I can’t—”
“You can,” he said as he invaded again. God help him, Jacob

could. He felt those fingers attack and retreat in time to the soft sound
of Alex jerking off behind him.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Alex’s fingers curled inside Jacob, stroking his prostate until he

was almost out of his mind with need. Abandoning Alex’s orders, he
shifted and squirmed, fisting his fingers on the bedsheets beneath him,
humping the mattress and bucking against Alex’s steady, rhythmic
touch. He couldn’t help it. He’d heard the note of desperation in
Alex’s voice when he gave the order, but now, more importantly, he
could sense his own need, unfamiliar as it was, pressing against him,
growing and swelling until he could no longer hold it. He needed to
claim Alex, needed to feel his lover open his mind and soul to unite
with his. Jacob’s mind sought Alex’s, pressing at his defenses,
seeking entry, but there was something he continued to hold back,
some dark note of need he was denying himself. It was a need that
grew exponentially as Jacob flagrantly disobeyed him, writhing and
kicking and jerking under his touch.

Alex pulled away, but it didn’t stop Jacob’s panting. “Let go,” he

said. “Please, Alex, I need—”

“Sir,” he panted. “Call me sir.”
“Yes, sir.”
He was so damn close, he’d call him anything he wanted. Still, he

couldn’t break through that wall, that last line of Alex’s defenses. He
was holding something back. Desperate with need, Jacob continued to
wriggle against the sheets, and Alex grabbed his ass to stop him.
Hard. Fuck, it excited him. And it excited Alex, too, he noted, feeling
those walls of resistance give as he squeezed at Jacob’s flesh and
restore as he relaxed his grasp.

Was this what he was missing? That edge of pain?
In a haze of inspiration, Jacob pushed his ass into the air. “Fuck

me,” he said, palming his cock with one hand. “If you don’t make me
come now, I swear to God, I’ll—”

Before he finished the sentence, Alex pushed his hand away,

pinning his wrist to the bed. Jacob moaned, feeling his cock pulse at
the show of domination.

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“You’ll come when I tell you to,” Alex said, his voice laced with

need.

Jacob smirked, feeling that thread of resistance thin to the

breaking point. A single word would set him over. Or two.

“Make me,” he said.
In an instant, Alex’s strong arms jerked him back onto his lap. He

was thrown sideways over it like a rag doll, facedown on the bed, his
ass still sticking in the air as he felt the first smack land.

“That’s for squirming when I told you not to.”
Alex’s mind opened to Jacob, and he felt their souls entwine.
Smack. “That’s for trying to come before I let you.”
Jacob moaned aloud, thrusting out his wrist blindly toward Alex’s

mouth. He’d bitten him once before, but God, he wanted to feel those
fangs sink into his wrist again.

Smack. “And that,” Alex groaned, licking his palm, “is for not

telling me I hurt you, when I—” he gasped, and Jacob could feel his
hard cock pulse underneath his own. “When you—” His voice
wavered, and Jacob felt his own body trembling on the edge of
orgasm. One kiss, one touch, one word could send him over the edge.
“When I know you don’t want—”

“I want it,” Jacob panted. “Please. I’ve never wanted so bad—”
He gasped as Alex’s hand closed over Jacob’s ass, rubbing it now,

soft and gentle and tender. Jacob had never been so torturously close
to coming without falling over the abyss. Ever muscle in his body
tensed as he tried to stave off his orgasm.

“Oh, please,” was all he managed.
“Come,” Alex whispered, and Jacob came, shooting hot, pulsing

jets all over his lover’s lap.

He sucked in air in big, gulping breaths as Alex pulled his body

up to his, kissing his nose, his mouth, his eyes, his cheeks. “I’m sorry,
angel,” he whispered. “Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry if I did.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Jacob shook his head no. Hot tears were running down his face,

but they weren’t from pain. They were from happiness. “Alex,” he
breathed, “can you feel it? We’re mated. We’re mates now.”

Alex’s eyes widened and his eyes searched Jacob’s. “But I fucked

up,” he said. “I hurt you, and I—”

“You let me in,” Jacob said, taking his hand and pressing it to his

chest where his heart thundered wildly underneath the skin. “You can
feel what I feel now. And believe me, I’m not upset.”

Jacob let his hand slip from Alex’s, dropping it between Alex’s

legs where his mate had laid him across his lap and where Jacob had
come like crazy under the hot, stinging smacks of his palm. Alex’s
eyes were still uncertain as they watched him, but Jacob had a pretty
good idea of how to make that disappear.

Crawling off the bed, Jacob knelt in front of Alex and pressed his

thighs apart, leaning in to lick the milky white spots of his own cum
off of his lover. Alex’s breath hitched as Jacob moved closer to his
cock. By the time he arrived there, sucking the tip into his mouth and
laving at the salty pre-cum, Alex’s hands were guiding his movements
and Jacob’s dick was impossibly hard and ready for another round.

He pulled out, looking up at Alex. His mate still hadn’t come yet,

but his dick was wet and he’d gotten Jacob good and ready to be
fucked by it. “Tell me how you want to fuck me,” he said.

“I wanna see you,” Alex said, pulling Jacob into his lap again.
Jacob climbed on top of him, but this time, Alex didn’t wait for

him to impale himself inch by inch. His big hands closed around
Jacob’s hips and thrust him down, and Jacob shouted as Alex’s full
length penetrated him in one long, swift stroke.

“Okay?” Alex asked, his voice breathy.
Jacob nodded, closing his eyes to relish the sensation of them

being so intimately joined, of Alex’s cock as far inside his body as it
could possibly be. He wasn’t going to move a single muscle to change
the situation.

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Before he could protest, though, Alex’s hands slid up his sides,

hooked under his armpits, and pulled him up. Alex’s stiff dick slid out
of him then attacked him again as his mate’s strong grip dragged him
up and down his cock like a rag doll. Not knowing how much of this
dizzying push and pull he could take, he moved his hips in time with
Alex’s movements, and together, they reached a pace that had them
both panting.

Alex’s grip loosened behind Jacob, causing him to fall backward,

his head lolling back, exposing his throat to the large werewolf. Alex
growled and leaned in to feast at his collarbone, lapping and sucking
and nipping at the flesh while Jacob took over thrusting on top of him.
“Bite me,” he panted as Alex sucked at his throat, his fangs resting
against Jacob’s hot skin.

Alex hesitated against his throat, but Jacob couldn’t wait to feel

his teeth on him. That single nick of his finger and his embarrassing
orgasm after hadn’t been nearly enough to seal their mating. He didn’t
want to be coddled. He wanted to be fucked, and sucked, and claimed.

“Please, sir,” he begged. “Please, I need—”
He didn’t even make it to the end of the sentence. Alex bit down,

and they both went off like rockets.

Alex’s body gave underneath him, and they both collapsed on the

bed. Even as they fell, Alex’s grip never relaxed around him, pulling
him as close to his body as possible as he lapped at Jacob’s neck, as if
he wanted to draw as much of his mate as he could inside of him.
Jacob reveled in the feel of his tongue on the bite. It had hurt at first,
but that hurt had melted quickly into pleasure as he felt Alex take his
blood, his soul, into his body. Jacob relished the strange sensation of
his skin as Alex licked at his wound, an act that made the formerly
raw and exposed area feel almost as if Alex’s ministrations had sealed
it shut.

He reached up to touch it, and raised an eyebrow at Alex at the

bumpy patch of scar tissue there. “It healed,” he said. “How did it
heal already?”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

“Because you’re mine, angel,” Alex whispered, pressing a final

kiss against the bite. He kissed the fingers Jacob pressed against it,
too, and Jacob could feel him smile against the digits. “Or maybe I
should call you mate.”

Mate, Jacob repeated to himself, happily. Alex was his now,

forever. And nothing on this plane or the next was ever going to tear
them apart, he thought sleepily as his eyes closed and he gave himself
over to the darkness.

* * * *

Murdock felt at home in the darkness.
He turned restlessly in his bed, the silken sheets sliding off his

cold body. He had long since woken, but he didn’t move a muscle to
rouse himself, instead waiting for his servants to part the canopy that
encompassed the wide bed as they did every evening before they
attended to his waking. These silly nightly rituals weren’t the reason
for his influence over the legions he commanded, but nevertheless,
they were important. And besides, he wanted to linger here just a little
longer before the throngs arrived to attend to him.

He had just had the most marvelous dream.
Murdock closed his eyes, just for a moment longer, letting the

memory wash over him. The rough hands measuring out discipline to
the weaker body bucking and shouting underneath them. The rush of
strength and power as the dominant mind gave itself over and joined
with Jacob’s. The familiar lines of his face when Murdock finally
glimpsed the identity of Jacob’s mate.

This living man would now reside within Jacob’s mind and body

and soul with the legions of others who already existed there, with
Murdock, who now ruled over those legions. Murdock was no longer
alive, was not even undead anymore, but his spirit had found a vessel
in the mind of Jacob Walker. Murdock had been embarrassed,
mortified even, of Jacob’s lifelong affliction when he was alive, but

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now his tendency to draw the souls of others inside him like moths to
a flame had proven quite useful to his dear old dad. Anyone who
Jacob’s vulnerable mind had drawn into it had made himself
vulnerable to Murdock as well. There were many spirits gathered here
that had been tortured, beaten, or harmed for pleasure during the war,
but Murdock would take an especial joy in abusing this new soul.

Alexander Craven looked exactly like his father. Murdock had

been waiting to exact his revenge on Mitchell and Adrianna Craven
for a very long time. And now he would have it. Their oldest son had
been handed to Murdock on a silver platter.

He had mated with Murdock’s son.
Murdock was roused from his thoughts when the canopy was

flung open to reveal the throng of waiting, nameless servants ready to
attend the vampire king the moment he sat upright. He rose, arching
his back, opening his eyes, and smiling to the attendants who had
anxiously awaited the ritual.

As was the nightly custom, they applauded him wildly.
The nervous, waiting throng kept clapping, waiting for some

signal from their king to cease. A slight nod of Murdock’s head
toward the nearest of them, accompanied by a restrained and dignified
smile brought the applause to a halt.

“That’ll serve nicely. Thank you,” he told the man. Then, before

the man could turn to fetch his clothes, he caught his arm. “Bring
Jacob.”

The servant nodded and bowed, wandering to the door and

disappearing out of it in that strange, somnambulant way all the
inhabitants had here. It wasn’t the way Murdock remembered
Morgana before his death, where even the undead territories of the
vampires pulsed with vibrant energy. No, the inhabitants of this realm
may be alive, but just barely. Out on Morgana, they were probably
hardly even cognizant of their actions. Instead, they were drawn here,
to Murdock, through one of the multitude of red doors that resided in
Jacob’s mind. Those doors opened up from time to time, ferrying in

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

and out the legions of those who simply could not bring themselves to
get over the scars they’d suffered during the war into this ethereal
afterspace Murdock had fashioned into his kingdom.

The crimson-colored double doors to his inner chambers opened,

and Jacob entered, trailed by the servant who returned to blend in with
the throng of attendants who stripped off Murdock’s bedclothes and
helped to dress him in his bloodred tails and top hat.

Jacob made no move to join the others. His eyes darted around the

room, taking in his surroundings.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Murdock mused, holding his arms out as the

servants helped on his topcoat. “A little of me, a little of you—”

Jacob’s face hardened as he cut him off. “I didn’t have anything to

do with this.”

“Oh, but you did,” Murdock insisted. He followed Jacob’s gaze to

the dizzyingly high ceilings, the monstrous bedposts, the strange
angles of the black-and-white tile on the floor. “You remember this
place, just as you’re seeing it now. You were just a child, of course,
when you visited me here, which accounts for some of the more
dramatic structural choices.”

Jacob’s head tilted upward to the nearly never-ending ceiling

before falling back down to meet Murdock’s eyes. “Is this a dream?”

Murdock smiled. “For you it is. Back on the Earth plane, I

imagine you’re somewhere snuggled safe in the arms of your mate,
sleeping soundly, thinking yourself safe until your mind slips from
your grasp, carries you away to dream, and brings you here. To where
I live.”

Murdock tapped his temple then gestured to Jacob. His eyes were

wide and nervous. “Where are we?” Jacob asked.

“In your head.”
Jacob flinched as if he’d been stricken. “Get out!”
Murdock smiled, remembering the dreadful feeling of invasion

that he’d once experienced a lifetime ago as a planeswalker. It was
difficult to see the way his son was so like him in that regard, sharing

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the same sickness he’d once had, the same disease that made him so
susceptible to the onslaught of other people’s inner voices and
feelings. He could still recall the never-ending rush of emotion and
desire and dream and memory that had once invaded him from too
many places to sort out.

It had been uncomfortable and terrifying, but he’d believed it was

a gift once. That was what Jacob’s mother had tried to convince him
of at a time in his life he’d most needed to hear it. He’d been lonely,
and frightened, and miserable, and she’d told him what he
experienced was something to be proud of. He’d never wanted to
believe anything so badly. Like most men on Morgana, he wasn’t
interested in women, but he’d been pathetically lonely and
embarrassingly moved by the sentiment, so much so that he’d slept
with the wretch.

That mistake had led to the birth of Jacob, who had come out just

like Murdock. The wriggling, screaming reminder of what he’d done
in a moment of weakness was more than enough to bear. Shortly after
Jacob’s birth Murdock sought out the king of the vampires himself to
take his dreaded mortality away. After his first death and rebirth as a
vampire, he felt nothing in his head but blissful silence. Better still, he
felt power surging inside him, strength. Rather than believing himself
at the mercy of the ideas and impulses of everyone around him, he felt
in control. At peace. He might have regretted believing Jacob’s
mother the night she’d duped him into fucking her, but she was right
about one thing. He had potential to be more than the sniveling,
overemotional idiot he’d been as a planeswalker. Once he was turned,
he’d reached that potential. It was a fine exchange for his mortal soul.

“That isn’t really my choice, is it?” he asked coolly, turning his

back to Jacob and staring into the gilded full-length mirror that stood
upright alongside his bureau. He saw nothing in the mirror of his own
reflection, only Jacob’s worried eyes as he no doubt tried to navigate
his way through the storm that raged inside his head. “You’re the one
who brought me here, after all, along with everyone else.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Grandly, he gestured around the room to the dozens of waiting

servants. Slowly, they turned their cold, dead eyes to Jacob, their
milky white gazes sliding over him, some of them almost flickering
with a spark of recognition as they beheld their captor, the one who
had channeled their souls onto the Red Plane.

The stupid little shit didn’t even know he’d done it.
“Who are they?” Jacob asked, his eyes almost flashing with

recognition at some of them. “Are they all from Morgana?”

Even as he asked it, the floors underneath them, the walls

surrounding them, even the ceiling above them began to pulse with a
red glow, and hundreds of bright red doors appeared, ghostlike, out of
those surfaces that had seemed so solid a moment ago.

“Here and there. A few weres, a few vamps, a few planeswalkers,

all of them miserable and suffering because of the war. They came to
see me separately, to deal with whatever mundane scars I inflicted
upon them, but wouldn’t you know? Your diseased little mind just
makes it so easy for me to gather them all in one place. As if their
pain was your pain, too, and you just couldn’t get a good night’s sleep
without dwelling on it. It’s actually rather pathetic when you think
about it. You just care so much. You can’t stand the idea of all those
dead, all those suffering. Even the ones you barely know. Even the
ones you despise, like me. Tell me something, Jake. You think all
planeswalkers are as weak as you are?”

“I know they aren’t.”
“That’s right. Because you’re special, aren’t you?” Murdock took

care to speak the words as savagely as he could, furious at the small
voice in his head that still wanted to believe the words about his son,
about himself, the way he was so long ago. Murdock had ensured
Jacob’s mother had never told him that, threatening to kill them both
if she ever breathed a word to their offspring about how special, how
unique his abilities made him. He didn’t want the bastard to believe
her. It was much easier to control Jacob if he thought of himself as an
abomination, the same way Murdock had thought of himself before he

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was turned. “My little psychic lightning rod. You know, most of your
race is content to open their minds only enough to cross through
planesgates, but not you. You just let every little unimportant thing
permeate your consciousness until it’s wormed its way inside your
very soul.”

“That’s not true,” Jacob choked out.
Murdock smirked. “Is that so? Why, because you’ve finally found

something important to you?”

Jacob stared at him uncertainly. The poor little creature looked

almost afraid to think.

Murdock cupped his chin, tapping one long, sharp nail lightly

against his cheek and furrowing his brow in a parody of thought.
“Think hard, now. Something new and exciting and oh so very, very
precious.” His lip curled. “Or perhaps I should say someone.”

Jacob’s eyes widened, and his mouth fell open stupidly. His hands

fluttered up to it, but hell if Murdock knew why. He hadn’t made a
sound. Finally, he shook his head. “Fuck you,” he breathed. As if the
very words had given him courage, his muscles tightened, and he
flung himself toward Murdock.

A flick of Murdock’s wrist shot a blast of power toward the little

brat, and he was flung backward onto his ass. Murdock smiled with
satisfaction. He’d gained a lot of things when he was turned vamp, the
growth of muscle and body hair, the yellowing of his eyes, and the
sprouting of his delightful fangs and claws, but that little display of
power, the ability to command the bodies of others, to toss them
effortlessly away from him just by flicking his wrist or flexing his
arm, that had been invaluable. Before he began his afterlife, Murdock
had been weak, diseased, plagued by insights into the minds of
everyone around him, whether he wanted to glimpse them or not. But
planeswalkers grew stronger when they were turned, and Murdock
was no exception. Rather than being assaulted by the thoughts and
feelings of others, Murdock the vampire had gained control over their
physical actions. It was a most unusual development, so unusual, in

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

fact, that it had given him a decided advantage in seeking the
vampiric throne. By flaunting his telekinetic energies and bending
others to his will, he’d risen to the position of king in no time.

He’d been a pathetic, helpless, powerless planeswalker, but as a

vampire, he was the most powerful being on the plane. It was as if
that power had been lying inside him, dormant and untapped, all
along. He’d just needed a little strength to access it.

Murdock studied Jacob, moaning as he hit the floor, glaring up at

his father through the errant strands of dark hair that fell in his face.
There was a fire in the eyes of his sad little bastard son that hadn’t
been there before he mated Alexander Craven.

Murdock was a little afraid of what that fire might blossom into.
“I hate you,” Jacob said, his hands balling into fists, though

Murdock hardly knew what the point of that little display was. Jacob
hadn’t even any claws to scratch him with. “I swear to God, if you
touch him…”

“You’ll what? Go on. What is it you could possibly do?”
Murdock kept his voice even, schooling from it any trace of

worry. He didn’t know what Jacob could do, given the right
circumstances.

But then, neither did Jacob. He dug his useless fist into the floor.

“I hate you.”

Murdock tsked, crossing to Jacob and jerking his elbow to pull

him from the floor. The boy flinched as Murdock dusted him off and
flashed a smile at him. “Come now, son. Is that any way to talk to
your father?”

Jacob squared his jaw, and his eyes darted past Murdock to some

faraway place the old vampire didn’t bother to see. Those green eyes
were watery, but instead of giving in to the sadness as he once would
have, he now held back the tears admirably. He really had gained
something from mating the wolf.

And that was another reason Murdock had to destroy Jacob’s

mate.

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“Now,” he continued, “I have a playdate in the club with your

little friend.” Murdock waved his hand. “Big friend. Whatever you
want to call him, his parents are long overdue for a little payback, and
I intend to have fun getting it.”

Jacob didn’t turn to look at him, and he didn’t let those tears fall,

but Murdock could swear he saw something die in his eyes at those
words. Those eyes were so like Murdock’s, or rather, like his used to
be before he’d abandoned that green gaze for the feral yellow his
beastly irises now shone with. For a moment, staring at that lovelorn
gaze, Murdock almost felt a pang of pity.

He didn’t like it.
Swallowing down the instinct, he edged a finger under Jacob’s

too-slight chin and lifted until the boy had no choice but to stare into
Murdock’s cold, dead eyes.

“Try to stop me,” he said, “and I will slit your throat from ear to

ear and bleed you ’til you’re dry.” The tip of Murdock’s nail pierced
Jacob’s skin, and he cried out. To prove his point, he stuck his finger
in the air to show off the single glistening drop of blood on it before
he sucked it into his mouth. When he replaced the digit, Jacob’s chin
was fairly shaking. Murdock smiled. That was more like it. “And
Jacob? Believe me when I say that I won’t be the only one who
touches him.”

* * * *

Alex couldn’t see a thing.
His eyes and head were covered with some kind of dark cloth or

blindfold, and he seemed to be pressed against some kind of wooden
contraption. Not some kind, he corrected himself, feeling the
uncomfortable position of his arms and legs and the restraints against
his wrists and ankles. A St. Andrew’s Cross—a piece of equipment he
was well familiar with but had certainly never been strapped to. Alex
had no memory of getting there, only of opening his eyes to blackness

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

and the uneasy sensation of being spread-eagle and strapped down for
punishment.

Faintly, he could make out the subdued murmurs of what seemed

to be a very large crowd gathered behind him. He could make out
dozens of voices, however unlively they were, not so much chattering
to each other but muttering to themselves. There was something
hollow, dead, in those voices, and it sent a chill down his spine.

Whatever this place was he’d found himself in, he didn’t like it

one bit. How the hell had he gotten here? The last thing he
remembered was falling asleep with Jacob, he thought, and suddenly,
he realized he had to be dreaming.

The realization did nothing to break the spell he was under or

change the circumstances of his situation. His mind might be in
charge, but he couldn’t control it.

He was trapped.
The low murmur of the voices died down as footsteps began to

echo through the room. The sound of the wooden steps approached
Alex then stopped. A short and dramatic silence filled the room, and
then the sound of feedback rang out as a microphone was tapped and
a throat was cleared beside it.

“Gentlemen. Ladies,” a voice spoke into it, rich and dark as

velvet. After a pause, it continued. “Planeswalkers, werewolves,
vampires. My dear undead fans and friends, welcome. I am glad that
you turned out for the show tonight. Although, I suppose, I didn’t give
you much of a choice in that matter.”

The voice chuckled. After a moment, some of the audience

members joined it, as if they were following the lead of that speaker
rather than expressing their own amusement. Something in that calm,
self-satisfied chuckle upset Alex much more than the quiet, desperate
muttering of the voices that had filled the room earlier. This was not
the voice of a man uneasy with those voices or unhappy to be here.
This smug speaker seemed to regard his audience—his fans—as his

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own personal property. As if the show he alluded to had been
arranged for his own entertainment rather than theirs.

A shudder passed over Alex’s spine as he wondered what part he

would play in that entertainment. Footsteps echoed across the floor,
taking their time, drawing out the act as they strolled closer to Alex.
When the last step echoed through the room, it was so close it could
have come from Alex’s own feet. A sardonic laugh echoed in the
microphone and he felt a cold, rubbery hand slide down his arm and
pause to clap him twice on the shoulder.

“Who are you?” he ground out to his assaulter.
“Who am I?” The owner of the smooth, low voice chuckled. “Tsk,

tsk, Alexander. I would think your parents would have told you about
me by now. You could say I’m an old friend of the family’s—or
perhaps, more accurately, an old nemesis. ”

That same cold hand touched his cheek once more. Like

everything else in this terrible place, it felt dead. There was no note of
human warmth in it—or rather, Alex thought with a chill as he
registered the gentle feel of long, pointed nails at the tips of the
fingers that rested on his skin—nothing human about it at all.

“Murdock.” There was no question in Alex’s voice as he said it.

The way the vampire’s pointed words made the bile rise in Alex’s
throat had told him enough.

“Aren’t you the clever one?” The hand slid away from Alex, but

he felt its serpentine touch linger on his skin long after it had gone.
When he spoke again, he was once again the showman, his voice
booming into the microphone to address the now-restless crowd.

“We are here tonight to welcome a very special guest, a guest my

not-quite-beloved bastard son has been kind enough to invite here,
someone he’s grown so very close to.” Murdock paused as if for
effect, and in that silence, Alex contemplated the words he’d spoken.
His son. Murdock had a son. “In fact, perhaps Jacob would like to
introduce our guest himself. Why don’t you give a warm Red Plane
welcome to Mr. Jacob Walker?”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

Lackluster applause and tired but curious grunts sounded all

around the room, but Alex was hardly listening to it. Jacob Walker,
he’d said, just as plain as day. Jacob, his mate.

Jacob was Murdock’s son.
It was impossible, Alex thought. Murdock was a vampire, and

Jacob was—

More footsteps echoed across the stage, cutting off Alex’s

thoughts. These footsteps were different than Murdock’s, though. The
low scuffle that sounded suggested that someone was being dragged
toward Alex by one or more larger captors who he struggled against.

Jacob was here, Alex realized. Murdock had introduced him. He

meant to bring him onstage. Or drag him, if he had to. Anger welled
inside Alex, and he kicked and pushed at his restraints. The metal
clasps were tight as a drum. Whatever was about to happen, he
couldn’t do a thing to stop it.

“Well, Jake? Wouldn’t you like to introduce your mate to the

audience? They’ve all been waiting so patiently.” A frightened
whimper, a shaky breath, and a sniffle penetrated the silence beside
Alex. “No? Well, then, maybe a more private discussion is in order.”

In one swift movement, the blindfold was yanked off Alex’s eyes,

and he saw Jacob’s tear-stained face ahead of him. Alex’s wolf
prickled under his skin as Murdock grabbed the back of Jacob’s neck
and roughly shoved him toward Alex.

“There,” Murdock said, his face close to Jacob’s, gesturing

between them. “You see the family resemblance?”

Alex could. Jacob’s face was smooth and angelic, and Murdock’s

was older and marred with hard lines that seemed to suit the scowl on
his face, but underneath it, he could see the same nose, the same
cheekbones.

Jacob bit his trembling lip and turned his eyes downward, his long

lashes wet with tears that dripped down his face as he shook his head.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Alex—”

100

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He reached out to stroke Alex’s face, but Alex couldn’t touch him

back. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s okay,” he repeated, but his voice
trembled as he said it, and he knew that it wasn’t.

His whole life, Murdock had come to represent evil incarnate for

him, and now here he was next to him, next to his mate, digging his
fingernails into the back of Jacob’s delicate neck, and Alex couldn’t
do a damn thing to stop him. More than anything, he wanted to shift,
to let the wolf clawing and scratching inside him to burst free so he
could bound at Murdock and tear out his throat, but even if he could,
even if he were free to do so, he didn’t know how Jacob would react
to him hurting Murdock. They were family, after all. Alex could
hardly believe it, but the more he looked at Murdock’s sickening,
sneering face, the more he saw Jacob’s features reflected in it, and the
more he wanted to claw at that face to rip them off of it.

Instead, he stood, motionless and naked, while his mate tried to

comfort him.

Wake up, he pleaded with his mind. Wake up. Wake up. Nothing

happened. He could close his eyes and open them a thousand times,
but it did nothing to strip from him his surreal surroundings.

“That’s enough of that,” Murdock said, pulling at Jacob’s arm to

wrench him away from Alex’s side. Jacob struggled against the touch,
and Murdock reeled back his other hand to slap him across the face. A
murmur of subdued interest rose up from the audience, but Alex
drowned it out with the roar that the callous gesture drew from his
chest.

“Don’t touch him!” he shouted, jerking against the binds that held

him. Alex couldn’t stop Murdock if he wanted to. “Run, Jacob!” he
shouted, but it was too late. There were others, he could see,
surrounding every entrance to the stage, a cluster of too-skinny
vampires with feral eyes that seemed to inch hungrily closer to Alex’s
mate as he searched each of the places they guarded for a safe exit.

There was none to be found.

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101

Murdock chuckled, quietly at first, but the sound soon built to a

manic laugh. “Oh, you’ll do nicely,” he said. “I like that fighting
spirit. It just makes it so much more entertaining to have you at my
mercy. But now, I really must insist that the show begin.”

The lights dimmed, and Alex felt the heat of a spotlight turn on

his back. He angled his head to see the shine of the light as it filled the
spaces around him, and he felt a strange, sinking dread when he
noticed its color. Bloodred.

“Now,” Murdock began. “May I ask, who here has a taste for

warm, flowing blood?”

The rustle and murmur of the audience was more alive than Alex

could recall hearing them since he’d been here. Murdock continued.
“And who here has a grudge against a revolting little interspecies
couple called Adrianna and Mitchell Craven?”

Again Alex could hear the crowd stirring behind him, moving

closer to the stage. He couldn’t turn his head around to see, but the
inhuman hiss and raw snap-snap of their fangs clicking together
echoed in his ears, sounding their approach from behind and stirring
his wolf to prickle uselessly against his bound skin. He’d never heard
the sound before, but he’d heard it described once, by his father, in
one of the endless conversations in which Alex had pushed him for
details about his battles with the vampires. Mitchell hadn’t wanted to
answer then, but Alex had begged, coaxing the details out of the
reluctant storyteller. He knew now why his father hadn’t wanted to
recall the details, hadn’t wanted to remember. Hearing the vamps
stalk toward him, sensing their hunger, unable to defend himself or
his mate from their snapping, clicking, ever-approaching fangs, he
thought he might lose his mind.

He kept his eyes locked on Jacob, feeling despair and revolt and

misery as Murdock braced his arm across his neck and closed a claw-
tipped finger around his shoulder. The pain inside him was unreal as
the gesture drew his wolf to the surface. It clawed and snapped and
growled inside him, straining at the metal bindings to shift and losing

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the fight. The sheer feeling of inadequacy was doubled when he
looked into his mate’s eyes and saw him looking back at him with
something more than fear, something Jacob was feeling for Alex, on
his behalf. It reached out to Alex and the unwelcome emotion slid
around him like a snake until he could identify what it was. Pity. His
mate pitied him for what was about to happen.

That was when he heard the air split behind him with the crack of

the whip.

It didn’t quite touch him, not just yet, but Alex sensed it moving

behind him, so close it had the crowd behind him cheering and
screaming for more, drowning out the small cry of his mate as he
protested. The hazy dread that had dwelled inside him until now had
sharpened into a crystalline fear of his role in the evening’s activities,
for he knew now what was to come next.

He had played around with whips before, had used them on subs

to enact scenes that drew their potency from the appearance of pain.
He had given it, and they had taken it, but there were always limits,
always certain lines drawn that Alex would not dare to cross. There
was always consent, and there was never blood drawn, never anything
that would bruise or scar or cut. This time would be different, though.
It was what the audience wanted, and Murdock had made it his
business to be a fine showman. As Murdock made his final
ministrations and ados, Alex could feel the desire, the hunger of the
vamps behind him swelling, could feel them growing impatient for
the main event.

Murdock would whip him, and he would cut him, but Alex hardly

expected to feel the hot rush of blood on his back when the whip
cracked down on it.

The vamps would lick up every drop.
Crack!
The first blow landed, and he felt himself swarmed by cold hands,

cold fingers, cold mouths and tongues, lapping and licking at the hot
stinging pain in his back. Again, the whip cracked, and again, and

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again, ripping his skin, even as claws and fangs dug into it from every
conceivable place. His wolf struggled to heal, but the cuts were too
many and too deep, and they were torn over and over as the life was
drained from him.

Just a dream, he told himself, it was just a dream, but he couldn’t

believe it. Even as he repeated the words to himself he could
remember what happened to Jasper and Lars when they found
themselves dreaming after mating with Ben and Danny. The hurt
they’d experienced in their dreams was all too real upon waking up,
as were their injuries.

Denial shot through Alex like a rocket. He was strong, he told

himself, he was strong and he could take it, but the years he’d spent
training and shaping his body were only a distant memory now,
engulfed by the powerlessness he felt welling inside him.

Black spots swam in front of his vision, but behind them, he

thought he could see Jacob struggling, thought he could hear his voice
echoing in his ears as if he were shouting through a long tunnel,
thought he could see the blur of Jacob’s small body as he broke free
from Murdock.

Alex fought the darkness that was trying to overwhelm his vision.

Jacob was heading toward him, running right into the fray, and if he
reached the feeding frenzy, the vamps would devour him. He would
suffer like Alex, but unlike Alex, he would die. His fragile body
wouldn’t heal, and they would drain him dry. In the dream and in
reality.

The sheer sense of horror the thought brought to Alex’s mind was

like a jolt to his consciousness. He was pulled from the hazy
blackness that engulfed him, but it wasn’t enough to stop the
nightmare, wasn’t enough to save his mate.

He had to wake up.

* * * *

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Rough hands shook Jacob awake, and his eyes flew open when he

heard his mate calling his name, his voice laced with an unmistakable
edge of distress.

He looked at Alex, whose face was red and eyes were yellow and

wild. He wriggled against the hands that pinned his shoulders down to
the mattress. For the first time since the first day he’d seen him, he
felt afraid. “I’m awake,” he gasped. “Alex, you’re—”

Scaring me. He stopped himself before he could say it, but from

the expression on his mate’s face as he dropped his shoulders,
retreating across the bed, he knew it wouldn’t have made a bit of
difference if he had. Alex must have felt his fear. They were mates
now, and they could feel each other’s emotions.

They also shared each other’s dreams, Jacob realized. The

memory of that world they’d inhabited just a moment before slid into
him with a slow, sinking dread. Remembering what Alex had said
about his brothers’ experiences with dream sharing, and how Ben had
nearly died from the injuries he sustained in his shared dream with
Jasper, Jacob’s eyes searched Alex’s body for traces of the deep
lashes he’d seen inflicted upon him. There was no silver involved, so
Alex would have healed by now, but there should have been blood,
and lots of it. And yet, only a few small smudges and drops of blood
were visible on his arms and shoulders, nothing compared to the vast
amount of blood Jacob had seen drawn from his mate.

Jacob felt sick when he realized where the rest of that blood had

gone. The vampires who had lapped and feasted at his mate’s raw,
cut-open wounds had drunk it all down. Jacob could hardly bear to
watch his mate in the throes of such torture. Alex needed so badly to
be in control. That terrible dream must have been unendurable for
him.

And it was all Jacob’s fault.
He sat there silently as Alex retreated into the bathroom to clean

himself up, letting the anxiety build until his mate returned and he
could no longer take it anymore. “I’m sorry,” Jacob said quietly.

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“For what?” Alex asked. His voice was casual as he sat back

down with Jacob, but he kept his distance from him on the bed. Jacob
didn’t know how much, if any, of the dream Alex remembered, but he
noticed that the warm note of caring was gone from his mate’s voice
now. So was his term of endearment, his pet name. He wasn’t Alex’s
angel anymore.

Jacob bit his lip. If Alex did remember the dream, he knew

exactly who Jacob was now, who he belonged to. Who he’d never
escape.

He should have told Alex before they mated, before that danger

could reach him, too. Now that it had, there was no use hiding
anymore.

“It was my fault,” he whispered. “My dream.” That wasn’t the

word for it, though, Jacob realized. Nightmare. That was what Alex
had called bad dreams back in the hospital. And this dream had been
terrible, as bad as the life he’d left on Morgana. The one he’d almost
forgotten in his happiness at having finally found his mate.

Alex looked at Jacob. His eyes were cautious and guarded, just

like they’d been when Jacob first met him. Alex had looked at him
differently since that first tense encounter. His gaze had become
softer, warmer, but not anymore. “When I woke you up,” he began, “I
didn’t hurt you, did I?” Jacob shook his head no, and Alex seemed to
relax a little. But not much. “Thank God. After everything that
happened with Danny and Lars and Ben and Jasper, I was so worried
something would happen to you. I woke up and I remembered how
you’d been heading for that crowd of vampires—”

He stopped himself short when Jacob’s eyes shot up to meet his.

The look that passed between them was enough to communicate what
he’d suspected, what Alex would have said if he hadn’t stopped
himself.

He remembered everything.

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Slowly, Alex moved to fill the space between them. A hand closed

on Jacob’s shoulder, rubbing it softly, but there was hesitation in the
gesture. “You scared me.”

“Is that all I did?” Jacob asked. He could feel Alex’s abating fear

clearly, but there was something else there, too, something that wasn’t
dissipating in the wake of their shared dream. Jacob’s mind haunted
him with the echoes of those nightmare images. Alex’s chained body.
The way they’d beaten him and drank his blood. Murdock’s smiling
face as he took Jacob’s hand and introduced him as his son.

The hard lines that formed on Alex’s face when he said it.
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “What else would I have

felt?”

Anger. Betrayal. Disgust. Humiliation. Jacob couldn’t sort

through the mass of sticky discomfort that clung to Alex’s mind to
pinpoint it, but he was certain what he was feeling was right in that
neighborhood.

“I was there,” Jacob said. “I know what they did to you.”
Alex’s hand dropped from his shoulder like it was suddenly made

of lead. “I’m strong,” he said. “They didn’t hurt me.”

“Yes, they did!”
“And I healed,” Alex retorted sharply. “So you can stop giving me

those pitying looks because I don’t need them.”

Jacob bit his lip, turning his head from him. Alex’s hands came

creeping back to hold him, but he pushed them away. “It’s okay,” he
said. “You don’t have to touch me.”

“I didn’t mean that, angel.”
The term forced his eyes back to Alex, and the tenderness there

surprised him. Jacob took a shaky breath, drawing his hands up to
wipe the tears welling in his eyes. “You did, though,” he said. Even
with the look in Alex’s eyes and his sudden burst of repentance, he
knew it. “And you hated it. You hated being hurt, but mostly, you
hated being helpless. And it’s my fault you were like that.”

Alex’s face darkened. “How do you figure?”

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107

Jacob shook his head, feeling the lump in his throat and waiting

for the tears to start falling, just like they always did. They didn’t,
though, not this time. Briefly, he remembered the glimpse he’d gotten
into Alex’s mind when they mated. While Jacob had spent most of his
life at the mercy of every notion and impulse that filtered through his
consciousness, Alex seemed to be the exact opposite. He was
forthright, and stoic, and loyal to a fault. He didn’t fall to pieces the
way Jacob did because he simply didn’t let himself. He was too
prepared for anything that came his way to be rattled by it—at least,
he had been. Jacob must have taken some of that stalwart strength
when they mated, just like Alex must have taken some of his
sensitivity. He was definitely rattled now, Jacob thought, hating the
way his mate seemed on edge, shifting uneasily, as if the sensations
inside his own body were foreign and unwelcome.

Jacob didn’t doubt they were. That was how they felt to Jacob,

even after a lifetime of enduring them.

“You felt different when we mated, right?”
Alex avoided his eyes. “I liked mating you, if that’s what you’re

asking.”

“It’s not,” Jacob answered, surprising himself with how sharp his

voice was. “You’re more like me now. More sensitive, more open,
more vulnerable—”

“So what?” Alex said, just as sharply.
Jacob bit his tongue. He’d obviously hit a nerve there. “I know

you don’t like it. It’s fine,” he said, still feeling that awful well of
emotion in his throat. It was almost worse this way, not being able to
give full force to his emotions. There was something cathartic about
letting go, but now things just stuck with him, so much that he
worried he’d carry each new scar and injury inside him for the rest of
his life. Was this how Alex felt all the time?

His head tilted up when Alex took his chin in his hand. “What I

don’t like,” he said, low and forcefully, “is knowing just how hard
things are for you. You feel so much all the time, and you don’t think

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before you act. You rushed in to save me when you could have gotten
hurt, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop you. If I hadn’t woken
up…” His voice broke as he stroked Jacob’s cheek with his hand.
Jacob closed his eyes, feeling the gentle touch of the rough hand
against it. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Why?” he asked. “And don’t tell me you like how this makes

you feel. You told me at the hospital you don’t like feeling
vulnerable.”

“I said it wasn’t easy for me,” Alex corrected. “And I said I’d give

it a try. To be with you.”

Jacob nodded, covering Alex’s hand with his own. It wasn’t

exactly what he needed to be reassured, but it was a start. And it was
honest. Still, that small admission only went a small way toward
clearing the air after the dream.

He sighed, bracing himself for the discussion they still had to

have. “You still haven’t said anything about it. About the worst part.”

“What’s the worst part?” Alex asked quietly, but Jacob felt the

stab of knowing dread pierce him even as the words left his mouth.

“You heard him,” Jacob whispered. “You heard him say it. He’s

my father.”

“That asshole isn’t your father.” He could feel the rage welling

back up in his mate, could see it reddening his face. “It’s not even
possible. He’s not even a planeswalker. That’s just—”

“And if he was my father,” Jacob said slowly, “I guess you’d

pretty much hate me.” He swallowed down his fear as he waited for
Alex’s response. “Wouldn’t you?”

He couldn’t sort out the mass of emotions that welled inside Alex

as he asked the question. Instead, he sat in the silence, thinking about
how hard Alex had trained to go to Morgana to fight in the war and
how disappointed he’d seemed when Jacob told him the war was
over. He’d wanted to fight, to be a warrior, to have a hand in
Murdock’s destruction. It didn’t seem terribly likely he’d relish being
mated to the guy’s however-estranged offspring.

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Strong arms closed around him, pushing his doubts impossibly out

of his mind, and he nearly wriggled out of them to ensure that his
mate had understood him right. “You know who I am,” he said. “I
may hate him, but it’s true. All Morgana vamps were planeswalkers
once, before they were turned. And when Murdock was a
planeswalker, he and my mom—”

“You know, I may not be into women, angel, but I have a pretty

good idea of where babies come from.”

“Don’t make jokes,” Jacob said, twisting in Alex’s arms. It only

made Alex hold him tighter. His head came to rest on Jacob’s
shoulder, and his cool cheek rested against Jacob’s burning ear. “I’m
telling you, it’s true. He’s my father, and I’m linked to him. And now
so are you.” He drew in a shaky breath. “Damn it. I’m so sorry I
didn’t tell you earlier. I should’ve said something.”

Alex looked at him sternly. “Do you think Danny and Ben told

their mates everything about them before they mated? Or Jasper and
Lars, for that matter?”

Jacob shrugged. “Did they?”
“From what I understand, absolutely not. Remember what I told

you about how nightmares happen when you repress things? Ben and
Danny both had things that upset them, things from their past that
they didn’t like to talk about or even think about. That was where
those nightmares came from. Or at least that’s what Lars says.”

Jacob nodded. Since Lars was a psychologist, there was a good

chance he knew what he was talking about. Maybe there was a way
out of this mess after all. “So if we talk about it, the nightmares will
stop?”

“I don’t know. If you really want to stop them, though, there’s a

pill you can take that will help. Danny took it for a while, and he said
it stopped the nightmares.”

Jacob could hear the hesitation in Alex’s voice. “But you don’t

think I should take it?”

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“It’s your choice, of course, but no, I don’t.” Alex frowned.

“Taking that pill isn’t going to make what’s in your head go away.
It’s just going to make you ignore it. And I don’t exactly want
someone like Murdock lurking inside your head.”

“But what are we supposed to do about it?” Jacob asked, his voice

quivering. He was doing his best to hold it together, but all he wanted
to do was curl up in a ball and sob. “I don’t know if I can face him
again. You saw how he is, and you know how I am. I can’t fight him.
I’ve never been able to.”

“That was different,” Alex said firmly. “You’re not alone

anymore. Whatever happens from now on, I’ll be right there with you,
angel. And the next time he comes near you, I’m going to kick his
ass,” Alex said then pressed a kiss to the top of Jacob’s head. It sent a
warm blush rippling down his body he felt all the way to his toes.
“Even if it is just in our dreams.”

That did it. The sob that had been caught in Jacob’s throat since

he’d woken up escaped as he collapsed against Alex’s hard chest. His
arms ran up and down his sides as he kissed the sleep-tangled hair
atop Jacob’s head. Finally, the bubble of emotion had burst, and he
cried, letting the tears slicken his mate’s chest. Alex only smiled and
wiped them away before kissing him square on the mouth.

Jacob caught his breath as he pulled away. “Oh, God,” he said. “I

love you.”

The frank admission after only a few short days sent dread spiking

up in his chest. He certainly didn’t expect to hear the words back from
Alex yet, something he was certain would only send him into a fit of
however unjustifiable paranoia until he pried the words from his
mouth. For a normal, sane person, these things took time. Even
having a muscle-bound Adonis for a lover was no excuse for dropping
the L word so soon after his mating.

“Oh, shit,” he gasped, feeling a fresh wave of tears on the horizon.

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Alex stared down at him, an almost shell-shocked expression on

his face. Shit, Jacob thought again, until his mate opened his mouth to
speak. “Really?” he asked.

“No. Mistake. Forget I said that.”
It hardly mattered though, Jacob realized. The force of the

emotion he’d felt welling up inside him was so strong it was probably
flowing off him like a big, fat psychic mood ring. Alex must have felt
it, too, because he quirked a suspicious eyebrow at him.

“You know, it’s not like I minded,” he groused.
“Really?”
Alex’s arms snaked tighter around Jacob, pulling him close until

they were lying side by side together. He kissed the soft space behind
his ear, and Jacob’s anxiety began to dissipate. It wasn’t the response
he’d longed to hear, but for now, it was enough. His mate’s arms
around him were all he needed.

“Jacob?” Alex asked softly into his ear, just before he’d drifted

back to dream.

“Mmm?” Jacob murmured sleepily.
“Can you say it again?”
Jacob smiled. “I love you,” he whispered, and Alex kissed him

again, softly and sweetly enough to chase away any lingering fear
from the nightmare Jacob had experienced. He let his eyes drift closed
again, still thinking of his father and Morgana and the uncertain future
that awaited Alex and his brothers and their mates. He’d been trying
not to think of it before tonight, but he let his mind linger on it now,
thinking that whatever that future held, he could handle it. He trusted
fate to guide them.

It had brought him to Alex, after all.

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Chapter Six

“What will happen to the boys?”
“They’ll find their mates. It’s not like something you can help

them with.”

“I believe in fate.”
“I know I didn’t believe it at first, and I know things weren’t easy

for a while, but this is fate, you and me…”

“I feel them sometimes. The boys. I don’t know if it’s because

they’re part planeswalker or because I haven’t let them go and
they’ve done the same for me and you—”

“God, you boys are really becoming regulars here, aren’t you?”
For a moment, Jacob didn’t know if the voice he’d heard was in

his head or out of it, and it took him a minute to look up and see the
young nurse standing in front of him in the waiting room. “Guess so,”
he told the nurse, who smiled sympathetically and wandered off down
the hall to the nurses’ station. Jacob sighed as he watched her walk
away. Stacy, he remembered from the last time he was here. It was
only a few days ago, just before Ben was released.

Stacy didn’t know the half of it.
After the terrible nightmare last night, when he had drifted back to

sleep with his mate, Jacob had a dream, not just about him and Alex
or Murdock and Morgana, but about Alex’s brothers and their mates,
about Adrianna and Mitchell Craven, about all of it. The dream was
one of the kind he’d had before, where he’d wake up once only to find
himself still dreaming, still playing out the same scenarios in an
endless loop, unsure where the boundaries between sleep and waking

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113

life began and ended, unsure for however brief a time that they even
existed.

In his dream, Jacob had woken up at the bottom of Ecstasy Rock

alone. He went to the hospital, where he found Mitchell and
Adrianna, just as he had when he first came to the Earth plane, only in
his dream, they sat up and greeted him. They’d been waiting for him
to come and take them to the top of Ecstasy Rock, so Jacob took them
and they jumped off. The drop-off was scary, and people were hurt,
and as he free-fell through that endless blackness, he was
overwhelmed by voices from Morgana, begging him for help. He hit
the ground hard, and it hurt, but it was as if that hurt was needed, as if
he had to be scarred and injured and finally healed if he wanted to
cross that gate. He woke up again, alone, at the foot of the cliff. This
time, he went to the hospital again and found Danny and Lars in the
room with Lars’s parents. They all went with him to the cliff and
jumped. The next time Jacob woke up, he found Ben and Jasper in the
hospital. The last time, he found Alex, and the two of them made the
terrifying leap together.

Before they reached the rocky waters below the cliff, he woke up,

thinking of fate. He couldn’t help it. The voices were back, and they
were loud as hell as they hammered through his mind.

For a few hours, he’d chalked it up to coincidence. All damn

morning, those voices yammered at him, but Jacob pushed them, as
best he could, to the back of his head. He lay in bed awhile, fooled
around with Alex, went downstairs for breakfast, ate, and by that
time, was ready to chalk the whole thing up to coincidence. Ben was
due out of the hospital today, and Jasper was supposed to be bringing
him home any minute.

But less than half an hour after Jasper carried his mate upstairs

and shut the door behind them, the phone rang and Alex answered it.

Adrianna and Mitchell were awake.
After ten years, they were awake from what the entire hospital had

believed was a stage ten coma. Only they weren’t sluggish, or

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unresponsive, or confused, or even physically weak as one would
expect a person awake from a years-long sleep would be. Their bodies
had aged ten years since they jumped from Ecstasy Rock, but
according to the doctors that were busy running all measure of tests
on them, Adrianna and Mitchell seemed as if they’d scarcely rested
more than a few hours.

It was as if their minds and spirits and bodies hadn’t been resting

in the hospital room at all, but had instead been wandering around of
their own volition on some secret unknown island.

Or another plane, Jacob thought distantly. Or trapped between two

of them.

Ben and Danny roused him from his thoughts again when they

returned with coffee. Jacob took the cup, gratefully, and smiled at his
friends.

“Everything okay?” Ben asked, taking a seat next to him. “You

looked kinda deep in thought.”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, fine.” He glanced at the door to the room

where Mitchell and Adrianna were apparently now conscious and
talking. Alex, Jasper, and Lars had only recently been granted
admittance inside, but for the time being, visits were restricted to
immediate family members only.

He looked at Ben, and the voices were back again.
“…but this is fate, you and me…”
Ben raised an eyebrow at him. “Sure you’re okay?”
Jacob shook his head. “Sorry. Things get a little…overwhelming

sometimes.” He couldn’t stop looking at Ben. It was weird. Usually,
when he heard the voices, they came from some faraway place, but
these were different. A lot of them were familiar, and some of them
seemed like they were coming from his friends, from Alex’s brothers
and from Danny and Ben. He could have sworn that last voice was
Jasper’s. “Did something happen after you got back from the
hospital?” Jacob asked Ben uncertainly. “Ever since you got back, I
keep hearing these voices.” He glanced from Ben to Danny. He’d told

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115

them about the voices before, but it had always been a past condition,
something that had happened to him in the past from time to time, not
an ongoing trance or hallucination or something. He didn’t want his
new friends to think he was some kind of lunatic. “Is this weirding
you guys out at all?”

Danny smiled. “It would take a lot more than that to weird us out.

What kind of voices are you hearing?”

Jacob sighed. “A lot of them, but…” He looked at Ben again. “I

think one of them is Jasper’s. Did he say anything to you? After you
got back from the hospital?”

Ben smirked. “Um, Jasper says a lot of things in bed.”
Jacob glared at his friend. “Yeah, not exactly what I was talking

about. Look, did he say something to you, something about fate?”

Ben raised both eyebrows at him. “Yeah. Why?”
Jacob shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s like something needed to

fall into place or whatever before their parents woke up.”

Ben bit his lip. “Jasper had a hard time believing in fate after what

happened with his parents. But then, this morning, he said…”

“He said he believed. I know. I keep hearing it in my head. It’s

like everyone’s there, and there was some kind of puzzle piece, some
moment of clarity or whatever that was needed from each of us before
things could move forward.”

Ben nodded. “There’s something else, too,” he said. “When we

were…” He paused a moment, and his face reddened. “Um…earlier?
We bit each other again, like we did when we mated, and now look.”

He pulled down the bandage on his head, which had covered the

deep gouge he’d had in it since the night he and Jacob tried to
planeswalk, the night he met a ghost from his past, Dr. Pierson, in his
nightmare.

Jacob blinked at the place where the wound had been. Yesterday

in the hospital, he’d seen it still bleeding through the bandage, but
now it was little more than a deep scratch.

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“Jasper felt better, too,” he said. “His arm, where it was hurt from

the dream? It’s totally fine now.”

Jacob considered this. If Ben was fine, they could try to go back to

Morgana. And if Jasper’s mother was awake, she could bring Jasper
across the planesgate, too.

“So you think we’re going back to Morgana now?” Danny asked.
Jacob glanced over at Danny. “I don’t know,” he said. He hadn’t

given it much thought since that night he and Ben had tried to make it
across the planesgate. It was weird. When he’d come back here, all
he’d been focused on was finding a way to fix Morgana, but after
meeting Alex, all that had mattered was working out their mating.

If he were to go back now, he wasn’t sure how it would play out.

Being Murdock’s son, he was still probably on the Most Wanted list
of every werewolf on the plane. And even if Ben was able to organize
the wolves—a difficult task, given his young age and less-than-
formidable size—interspecies harmony had never really worked out
on any of the supernatural planes. Even if Ben vouched for him as a
friend of the wolves, he would have to deal with the prejudice of other
planeswalkers after mating a werewolf.

Suddenly, the door to the Cravens’ hospital room swung open,

and Jasper peeked his head out of it. He smiled almost sheepishly at
Ben. “I never thought I’d say this,” Jasper began, “but do you want to
meet my parents?”

Ben glanced from Jacob to Danny and back to Jasper. “Only if I

can bring my friends with me,” he said with a smirk.

Jasper rolled his eyes. “If you must.”
Jacob knew well enough that was as much of an invitation as they

were going to get out of Jasper, so he and Danny and Ben headed into
the hospital room they had all come to know so well since meeting the
Craven brothers. The room was different this time, though, from the
other times Jacob had visited it. Before, things had been all tension
and worry, regret and doubt. Now it was full of hope. Adrianna and
Mitchell were alive and well.

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117

He walked to Alex’s side, and his mate put his arms around him.

Jacob sighed, feeling Alex’s strength wash over him as he placed his
hands on his mate’s arms and closed his eyes. When he opened them,
Adrianna and Mitchell were looking right at him.

“So this is Jacob,” Alex said. “And that’s Ben and Danny.”
“Way to steal our thunder,” Jasper quipped. “But yeah, that’s the

basic idea.”

Adrianna looked at Mitchell from where she lay in the hospital

bed. She glanced from Alex, to Jasper, to Lars, and then took in each
of her sons’ mates. Jacob knew what she was doing. As a
planeswalker, she was more in tune with fate than Mitchell was and
could sense its force in other people. She wanted to be sure her sons
had made the right choices.

Adrianna smiled. “All right,” she said. “I approve. Mitchell?”
Mitchell looked around the room. “Is it my imagination, or has

our family somehow doubled in size?”

Danny squeezed Lars’s hand and smiled. “It’s not your

imagination,” he said. “And for the record? It’s a really good family.”

“I like him,” Mitchell said, turning to Lars. “Good kid, that one.”
Lars smiled, leaning against the windowsill that Danny had

hopped up on to take a seat. “Thanks.”

Mitchell glanced at Adrianna, but her eyes were fixed on Jacob’s.

He shuffled his feet, squirming under Alex’s careful hold of him,
unsure what her penetrating gaze was capable of discerning. Finally,
she spoke. “I know you,” she said.

Jacob choked down a dry swallow. Most of the planeswalkers on

Morgana knew him, thanks to his infamous father. If Adrianna had
ever seen Jacob on Morgana, she would have been much younger
then, having spent the intervening years on the Earth plane, but for
Jacob it would have only been a matter of months. If she recognized
him now, however vaguely, she would figure out who he was soon
enough.

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“Jacob Walker,” he said, finally. He glanced around the room at

Jasper and Ben, at Lars and Danny. He and Alex hadn’t exactly
shared the secret of his parentage with his brothers, unsure how they
would take it, but it didn’t seem like it would be able to remain a
secret for long. He opened his mouth and let it go. “Murdock’s son.”

Every pair of eyes in the room flew to Jacob, and he felt his face

redden and his body shrink into Alex’s protective touch as they did.
He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at his friends or their mates or
Adrianna and Mitchell, not sure what he’d see in those gazes he felt
burning against his skin.

“He didn’t tell you because he didn’t know how you’d react,”

Alex said. “And for the record—”

“For the record,” Adrianna broke in, “Jacob is as good as

Murdock is bad. So if any of you are harboring any doubts about his
loyalty, you can get rid of them right now. I’ve had dreams about him,
ten years’ worth. Whatever his father is, there is nothing of that inside
him. None of the bad stuff, anyhow.” She looked right at Jacob, and
he dragged his eyes up to meet hers. She smiled, and he felt better.
“You shine like a beacon in the darkness, angel.”

Jacob cocked his head at her. “That’s what Alex calls me. Angel.

How’d you know?”

“I didn’t. It just suits you.” She continued to look at Jacob. There

was still warmth in her eyes, but she chewed thoughtfully on her lip
and worried her hands in the thin blanket that covered her, plucking at
a loose thread. When she looked back up at Jacob, her expression was
serious. “Have you been here long?”

The tone of her voice was amiable, but Jacob sensed the meaning

behind it. “About a week,” he said. “The war’s over back there.”

Adrianna’s eyes widened at this, but she said nothing. Mitchell

turned his head to his mate, and the tension that hung between them in
that moment was almost palpable. “Is that so?” he asked quietly, more
quietly than Jacob would have expected from the large and
intimidating werewolf.

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119

Something about the way Mitchell looked in that moment

reminded him of the way Alex had looked when he heard the same
news. Certainly the older wolf’s reaction was more subdued, and he
kept his focus, almost neurotically, on his mate, as if focusing on her
would keep him from leaping up, eyes flashing yellow, fangs cutting
gums, like Alex had. Like Mitchell probably wanted to do. Jacob
recognized the look on his face, all right. It was the guilty, hurting
anguish of a warrior who’d been sidelined during the fight.

Finally, Mitchell looked up at Jacob, lifting his chin and

straightening his back. “How’d we do?”

“Murdock’s dead,” he said, “but…”
“But?”
Mitchell’s word hovered in the air while Jacob took a breath and

started in, once again, on the story that had become so familiar to all
of them. He told Mitchell and Adrianna about the vampires who had
killed Murdock, about the interspecies fighting in the wake of the war,
and the voices that led Jacob through the planesgate and onto Earth,
looking for a leader. About Ben, and the hopes Jacob had for the
young king. About how those hopes were thwarted when they failed
to make it across the planesgate. About Danny and Ben and the way
their nightmares seemed to bind them to people who they were once
close to, people who had died and in their death were trapped on a
dark plane behind a red door, a door that was created out of the
strength of their hurt and confused feelings for those dead but not
forgotten.

And about how, in Jacob’s case, that meant the most powerful and

dangerous being who had ever existed in Morgana.

Murdock.
Jacob wasn’t sure how much his mate would want the others to

know, so he chose carefully the information he gave them about he
and Alex’s nightmare with Murdock and the Red Plane. As he
explained it, Ben stared at him thoughtfully, leaning back in the
plastic chair he sat in. “The way you said things are in Morgana, with

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everyone still upset from the war and fighting…You said it was like
Murdock never died.”

Jacob nodded. “He was all we knew for so long. He was a

monster, but he was everywhere. Everything was about Murdock, not
just for the vamps, but for all of us. No matter how much you hated
him, there was no escape. I think that’s why he can control all those
people on the Red Plane, even the werewolves and revolutionaries
who hated him. They look just like everyone did on Morgana, just
sort of sleepwalking through life, under some kind of horrible trance
or something. They don’t seem to care that the war ended because
they’re still so obsessed with Murdock. It’s like no one can let him
go.”

The words no sooner left his mouth than he suddenly understood

what Ben was getting at. He looked over to where Ben was seated
next to Jasper, and Ben nodded and glanced toward the window at
Danny. Danny looked from Jacob to Ben then shoved his hands deep
in his jacket pockets and dropped his eyes to where his sneakers
dangled off the windowsill. He kicked one black Converse against the
wall, woefully.

“Shit,” Danny sighed.
Ben nodded. “Yeah. Exactly.”
Jacob felt Alex’s hands brush across his hair and stroke the side of

his face, and he angled his head up to look at his mate. “Did I just
miss something there, or did you guys just have a whole conversation
without moving your mouths?”

“I told you that secret handshake was bad news,” Jasper muttered.
Ben gave his mate a warning look before turning to Alex. “I was

screwed up because I couldn’t let go of Pierson. Danny was screwed
up because he couldn’t let go of Thomas.”

“Jacob’s not screwed up, if that’s what you’re implying,” Alex

broke in. There was a low growl in his voice.

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121

“It’s not,” Danny finished. “What he means is that all of Morgana

is screwed up, like Jacob said. They’re sick and distrustful, and they
won’t stop fighting. Probably because they can’t let go of Murdock.”

Alex looked down at Jacob, uncertainly. “Not sure I’m following

you guys, angel.”

Jacob bit his lip, forcing his eyes to meet his mate’s. “You said

that when Danny and Ben had nightmares, the people they were afraid
of were behind red doors. Murdock called the place the Red Plane.
It’s more than just a place in my mind because of how I am. I can’t
keep people’s thoughts or feelings out of my head. Maybe it works
the other way, too. Maybe my dreams are shared with other people,
other species on Morgana. Like a gathering place that everyone on the
plane is sort of drawn to.” Jacob drew out a long, shuddering sigh. “If
that’s what’s going on, they’re fucked, because Murdock’s in there,
too, and I don’t know how to keep him from hurting them.”

The room was silent for a moment, and Jacob felt the weight of

that silence pressing down against him from all angles. It had been
bad enough knowing that his unguarded, oversensitive mind had
made Alex vulnerable to Murdock’s abuse. Now he had to deal with
knowing he’d exposed all of Morgana to his father’s psychic
influence.

Tears welled in his eyes, and he fought to keep his breath steady.

It was a losing battle. He could feel his thin frame heaving against
Alex’s strong chest, and soon his mate’s hands closed around his
shoulders.

“So it’ll never end,” he said. “No matter what, he’ll still be there,

and it’ll be my fault because I can never get rid of him.”

“That’s bullshit,” Danny said. “I dealt with Thomas, and Ben dealt

with Pierson—”

“I’m not like you guys,” Jacob said firmly. “I can’t get past things,

and I can’t keep things out. Do you know how I even knew to come to
the Earth plane? To find you guys?” He turned to Ben. “Step up on
the ladder, Ben. You have to go now. Mommy and Daddy would have

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wanted you to be safe. No, I can’t go with you. I can’t go to Earth.
Step up on the ladder, Ben—”

“What is that?” Ben stared at Jacob, his brow worried, his face

pale. “Where’d you hear that?”

“It’s your memory,” Jacob said. “Someone said it to you ten years

ago. You don’t even remember it, and I can’t get it out of my head.
Along with everything else that’s in there. If I could be different, if I
could let go of this stuff, I would, but I can’t. I can’t fix it, and I can’t
control it.”

“Why should you?” Adrianna broke in. Jacob looked at her, her

face watery through the tears in his eyes. He wiped them and saw the
sad, sweet smile on her face. “You might not be like other
planeswalkers, but that doesn’t mean the way you are is wrong. It’s
not meant to be controlled. It’s fate.” Her eyes drifted from Jacob to
where Mitchell lay next to her. He gave her a slight shrug and a smile,
and she glanced around the room, looking at everyone in turn. “I think
it’s time we told you boys what we think happened to us.”

Alex’s hands tensed on Jacob’s shoulders, and Jacob laid his hand

over one of them, entwining his fingers in his mate’s. He felt those
fingers relax a little as Mitchell sat up and began to tell the story.

“The doctors said that when we came to the hospital, Adrianna

was badly hurt, head trauma and all that. You’d expect her to be in a
coma, but me…”

“Superhuman immune system,” Lars said, filling in the blanks.
“Exactly.” Mitchell nodded. “Adrianna hit her head on the rocks

on Earth, and that loss of consciousness prevented her from going
across the planesgate. I was fine, though, so I passed through. Or
would have, if my mate hadn’t been stuck here on Earth. Instead of
me going through all the way or her being here all the way, fate sort
of trapped us between two places at once. Our bodies and minds and
spirits were in two places at once, half here, unconscious, and half in
the space between the two planes. And we were basically stuck there
for ten years.”

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123

“I don’t mean to burst your bubble, Dad,” Jasper began, “but I’m

pretty sure you wouldn’t have been able to get across if Mom was
stuck here. Seeing as you’re not a planeswalker.”

“Normally I would say you boys are right,” Adrianna said. “But

there’s something we learned before the war, when the revolution
started, things that I think might come into play now.”

“Like what?” Alex asked, his voice more worried than Jacob

could remember it sounding.

“There’s more than one way to cross a planesgate,” Adrianna said.

“Planeswalkers are naturally more in tune with fate. A planeswalker
can sense where gates are and instinctively cross them. They can even
bring someone across the gate with them if that person is physically
connected to them when they reach it. Planeswalking is a gift, but it
isn’t a quality exclusive to planeswalkers.”

“Whoa,” Danny said. “Are you saying anyone can planeswalk?”
Adrianna continued. “It’s more like a skill that can be developed,

or that you can possess. Like any other skill, it comes easier to some
people than others. If your mind is open enough, if you’re willing to
surrender yourself to something outside yourself, if you’re able to put
your life in the hands of a force you can’t see, you can get across.”

“Well, that’s great, right?” Ben asked. He smiled at Jacob. “It’ll

be just like you said before. Look, I don’t know how I feel about
being king of anything, but if it’ll help Morgana, I’ll do it. I’ll go, and
I’ll help get the wolves in line.” He glanced shyly around the room. “I
mean, hell if I know how, I’m sure we can figure something out,
especially if Mitchell’s there to convince the other wolves. We’ll all
go together. God, it’ll be a million times better than last time because
no one will get left behind.”

Hope surged in Jacob’s chest, but something stopped it, a slow,

creeping feeling of doubt, edging into his mind from somewhere
outside his own body. He glanced up at Alex, and his face was a tight
mask of lines. “And what if we’re not open?” he asked. “I mean, what

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if we can’t surrender ourselves like that? What happens then? Can we
even go across then?”

Jacob recalled the night that he had tried to bring Ben across. Alex

had caught him in midair as he fell off the cliff, wrapping his arms
around him. That physical contact should have been enough to get
them both across the gate, but it didn’t. Jacob knew well enough what
Alex was thinking now. Alex thought it was his fault they didn’t make
it across. For years, he had believed in fate, in Morgana, in the
possibility of other planes, and in his parents’ stories. It was one thing
to believe, though. That carefully cultivated fairy tale had been fine
for Alex as long as he was in control of it.

To trust in another force to guide him, to surrender himself

completely to it, probably seemed more than scary to Jacob’s mate.

It must have seemed damn near impossible.
Before Adrianna could answer his question, Jasper leaned back in

his chair and gave Alex the eye. “You know, for someone who had as
much faith as you did in this stuff for the past ten years running, you
are really being a hell of a worrywart. Has anyone ever told you it
might be in your best interest to just chill out for like five seconds?”

“Just you,” Alex replied stiffly.
“He said, his voice laced with worry over whatever the hell he’d

found to worry about…”

Jacob didn’t have to wonder. It was as much in his mate’s nature

to be closed-off and in control as it was in Jacob’s to surrender
himself to the whims of the universe.

And Jacob didn’t know whether either one of them could change.

* * * *

“So,” Adrianna said, gesturing with her hand as far as the IV

sticking out of it would let her, “tell me what you’ve been doing with
yourself for the last ten years.”

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

125

Alex could hardly stand to look at her. Even that flippant gesture

of her wrist, exacted so easily, so casually after a decade of lying limp
on the hospital bed, was overwhelming. The swarm of doctors and
nurses that were still regularly filtering in and out of the room had
taken his dad for tests just as he’d arrived in the room, leaving him
alone with his mother.

He loved her, of course, just as much as Mitchell. It was just that

it was easier with his dad, especially during such a strange and surreal
moment. His dad was the easygoing one, the joker, but his mom, like
Jacob, had her moments of overwhelming emotionalism. The older
Alex had gotten, the more uncomfortable those moments had made
him, and the more he had avoided her.

Was still avoiding her, he corrected himself, staring at the wall

ahead of her, saying nothing.

“You know, your brothers were a lot more talkative.”
Alex sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. His brothers had hardly

expected this day to come. Alex had imagined this moment so many
times that a week ago, he could have recited the whole thing word for
word, every line of dialogue in their joyful reunion. A week ago,
though, it was just a fantasy. Now it was real.

It wasn’t playing out like he expected.
“Your brothers also had the good manners to at least introduce me

to their mates.”

“I introduced you and Dad to Jacob already.”
“So that’s the last we’ll see of him then?” she asked. “You think I

don’t want to spend any more time with your mate? He doesn’t like
us?”

On the contrary, Alex had the distinct impression that his mother

adored Jacob, and he knew Jacob loved his parents, especially
Adrianna. Unfortunately, he was still shaken up after what he’d
learned the last time they were in the hospital together. In the days
that had followed that first strange meeting, Alex had done his best to

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keep Jacob’s mind off of it. It had been relatively easy. They had
spent most of those days in Alex’s bedroom.

Of course, Alex thought, glancing back down at his mother, there

had been other reasons he’d been avoiding the hospital, too, reasons
that made him less than eager to come back today. In light of those
reasons, he’d determined it was almost certainly best not to bring his
mate along in case things got tense between him and Adrianna.

And they likely would, considering what he had to say.
“Why didn’t you tell us we could planeswalk?”
Adrianna’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and she lay still for a

moment, the soft lines on her face deepening as if she were trying to
find the words to answer him.

“And don’t say I didn’t ask,” Alex added. “I must have asked you

and Dad a thousand different questions about this stuff when we were
kids, and still you didn’t—”

“You weren’t ready,” she stated, cutting him off.
“We weren’t ready, all of us weren’t ready, or I wasn’t ready?”
Adrianna’s lips thinned, and the silence hung in the air around

them like a leaden fog. Well, that answered that question, Alex
thought. His mother’s revelation in the hospital room yesterday must
have seemed like a miracle for his brothers and his mates, who were
relieved to know that finally, everyone could return to the
supernatural plane and that no one would be left behind.

Alex hadn’t bothered to correct them on that point, but he’d

caught the look in his mother’s eye when she’d said it. She looked
right at him. She knew all too well what he was like.

Briefly, his nightmare from the other night washed over him, and

he shuddered at the feelings of helplessness and vulnerability, so
unfamiliar and unwelcome. It would have been a bad dream for
anyone, but God, it had chafed him to feel so exposed like that. Even
afterward, when he had tried to reassure Jacob that he wasn’t upset
with him, that he couldn’t have hurt him if he tried, the words had
sounded hollow and meaningless. He cared about Jacob, so much it

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127

hurt, but he didn’t know how to cope with the changes their mating
had brought.

Worse, he didn’t know if he could.
Anyone can walk through a planesgate, his mother had said, as

long as you have the right state of mind, but Alex knew he never
would. He could still remember grabbing Jacob on his fall off Ecstasy
Rock. In Alex’s arms, Jacob hit the rocks, but if the planesgate was as
open as he seemed to think it was, they both should have fallen right
through. He’d wondered about that at the time, but he knew why now.
He couldn’t go through because he didn’t have the right frame of
mind necessary to do it. The way Jacob was, the way his mother was,
they were about as opposite Alex as people could get. He couldn’t be
like them if he tried. He just wasn’t wired that way.

His mother gestured to him. “Come here,” she said, waving that

same bandaged hand to Alex and nodding at the chair he hadn’t yet
seated himself in. Alex shuffled toward it. His feet seemed to stick on
the floor on the way across the room, but he made it over and took a
seat, so close to the hospital bed he could reach over and touch the
hand that IV needle disappeared into.

Instead, he shoved his hands deep in his pockets.
Adrianna rested a hand on his elbow, and he raised his eyes to

meet hers. She gave him the same knowing look she’d bestowed on
him a hundred times as a kid, the one so simultaneously full of
tenderness and reproach it almost seemed to scream, I still love you,
idiot. Now get over yourself. He hadn’t seen it in so long it almost
brought tears to his eyes. Almost. He fought them down.

“You’re not fooling anyone with this act, you know.”
“What act?”
“That you’re some kind of black sheep or something. That you

don’t belong in this family or you aren’t pulling your weight or
whatever it is you think of yourself. It’s not true. I’ve heard stories
from your brothers. I know what you’ve been up to all these years.”

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“Right,” Alex said sarcastically. “A whole lot of nothing. Some

fucking accomplishment. I’m sure you guys are really proud.”

Adrianna swatted him. “Watch your mouth.” He rolled his eyes in

lieu of protest. When he did, she smiled. “And we are.”

All the rush of emotion that had crept into him during his mating,

or, more precisely, that his mating had opened up inside him, began to
flood his senses once again, making him feel shaky and uncertain and
scared.

“Why?” he asked. His voice sounded small, like a child’s.
“For one thing, you held this family together. Your brothers may

give you a hard time, but they look up to you. They always have.”

“They think I’m an idiot. And a weirdo.”
“They don’t think either.” Her eye twinkled, and her lips curved a

bit. “Well. Jasper might think you’re a little weird.” Alex heaved out a
sigh, but she squeezed his arm as she continued. “But you’re strong.
And you’re determined. And you can be stubborn as hell about having
your way—”

“I know,” he said, cutting her off. “I’ve heard it a million times

before.” He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since his mating
and the nightmare that followed it. It was exactly why he feared now
that he wouldn’t be able to planeswalk.

“Jasper and Lars lost their faith when we jumped. You didn’t. You

held this family together. Lars told me things never would have
worked out with Danny if you hadn’t been there to talk to him. And
Jasper said if it wasn’t for you, he never would have cleaned himself
up and gotten his act together long enough to even find Ben.”

“Jasper said that?”
Adrianna nodded slowly. The expression on her face was dead

serious. “You kept your faith in us when everything in the world
suggested it was wrong to do so. That takes an openness that you may
not believe in, but I do. Your faith is what kept us around. You
remember what Lars said, about the red doors? How Danny and Ben

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129

kept those people around after they died, just because they wouldn’t
let them go?”

Alex nodded, his voice tight. “I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t let

any of it go, not after I’d spent so much time—”

“Thank you,” Adrianna said softly. She moved her hand to take

his. This time he didn’t fight it. She squeezed it tight. “When I hurt
myself on the rock, I stayed alive. Against all odds, something was
keeping me here, keeping me going. Knowing what I know now, I
wonder if it wasn’t your belief that Mitchell and I would be okay. I
don’t even think we’d be here now if it wasn’t for you. You saved us,
sweetheart, just by being who you are.”

Alex bit his lip. It was as if the weight of the entire world had

fallen off his shoulders. All he’d ever wanted, all he’d ever hoped for
with his training and his single-minded determination, was to be of
some use. To be needed. To have a purpose. It didn’t make a damn bit
of difference whether that purpose was served fighting vamps on
Morgana or helping his family find their way back to each other.

Or being with Jacob, for that matter.
“So,” his mother said, clearing the emotion from her throat with a

single, forceful cough. Alex gently let go of her hand, and she smiled
as she wiped her eyes. “You mated a planeswalker, huh?”

Alex raised an eyebrow at her. “How’d you know I was thinking

about him?”

“Don’t know. Maybe because you have that stupid smile on your

face you got every time you looked at him.”

Alex didn’t exactly delight in how easily his mother had read his

expression, but there was something almost thrilling about the extent
to which his mate affected him. He might not have a mating bite to
show for it, but he’d sure as hell been marked.

“He seems sweet,” Adrianna said. Then her mouth widened in a

smile again. “God, you guys really like ’em young, don’t you?”

“Mom!” Alex said, his face burning with embarrassment.

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Adrianna laughed, the sound ringing through the room. Alex had

to admit, it felt good to hear it after all the tense hours he’d spent in
there over the years. Still, though. There were some things he didn’t
care to joke with his parents about.

“Okay, okay,” she managed, finally calming down. “You had to

let me get that one in. You know the head nurse keeps referring to
them as your cabana boys, right?”

“I’m well aware of that fact,” Alex said.
A knock came at the door, and Stacy, one of the younger nurses

on the floor, peeked her head in the door. She smiled shyly at Alex.
“Five minutes, Mr. Craven. Then we’ll need your mother for more
tests.”

Alex nodded, and the nurse smiled again and disappeared. When

the door clicked shut, his mother glanced at him helplessly.

“They’re relentless with those tests, you know. And don’t think I

don’t know we wouldn’t have every news crew in the state in here if
Jasper wasn’t off barking at them.”

“I know,” Alex admitted. In addition to the army of medical

professionals parading in and out of the room since his parents had
awoken from their ten years’ sleep with miraculously few mental or
physical side effects—or more precisely, no side effects at all—there
had been a swarm of reporters to deal with. Jasper had volunteered his
sharp tongue and sizable bankroll to keep them at bay, but there had
been precious little peace for his parents in the days since their now-
infamous recovery.

“You know, it’s going to be hell getting out of here anytime in the

next decade. I don’t even think fate itself will be able to tear the
hospital staff away from us and sneak us through that mob outside
when it’s time to go back through the planesgate. At least not without
a little help.” She glanced at the door suspiciously. “How well would
you say you boys know that Nurse Betty?”

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131

“Actually,” Alex said, a bemused smirk creeping into his tone as

he recalled the things Betty had revealed during their last
conversation. “I would say she knows Jasper pretty well.”

Adrianna raised an eyebrow at him. “Do I want to know?”
“Probably not. But I’m sure when the time comes, he can be of

help.” Alex stiffened a little as he considered the implications of his
euphemism. When the time comes. He glanced at his mother again.
“Do you really think I can make it through? I mean, last time we
tried…”

The intensity of the look Adrianna gave Alex stopped him

midsentence. “I think you know as well as I do just how unbelievably
headstrong you are.”

Alex bit his lip, nodding. He knew, all right. He also knew that

stubbornness probably wasn’t a quality that would allow him to open
his mind up and let his body be transported to another reality.

“Which means,” Adrianna continued, her insistent tone cutting

through Alex’s thoughts, “once you make your mind up to do
something? Anything is possible.”

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Chapter Seven

Alex sat cross-legged on his bed, his palms resting flat against

Jacob’s, trying to channel the psychic energy of the universe.

God help him, the things he did for love.
Love? He’d been trying his level best to even out his breathing, as

Jacob had instructed him to do, but that thought stopped him. He kept
thinking about that night that Jacob had said it to him, but as much as
it thrilled him to be loved by his mate, he couldn’t bring himself to
say the words back to him. Certainly Alex felt something—a lot of
something—for his mate, but whether or not it was love was another
matter altogether. As much as he wanted it, the weird, ephemeral
feeling was too intangible to pinpoint. And with how dense Alex was,
he doubted he’d recognize love if it leaned over and smacked him.

“Ow!”
Alex was jarred out of his thoughts when Jacob leaned over and

smacked him.

Opening his eyes, he jerked his hands away from his mate’s.

“What the hell was that for?”

“I told you to stop judging every thought that passes through your

head as good or bad. You know this is never going to work if you
don’t listen to me. And sit up.”

“Okay, okay, sorry!” Alex protested, trying his damndest to stack

the vertebrae in his back. He didn’t know what the hell that meant, but
from what Jacob had told him, he gathered it had something to do
with not slouching. In a demented, New Age, touchy-feely sort of
way, he mentally added, remembering the utter solemnity with which

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133

Jacob had attempted to guide him through breathing exercises. Alex
snorted. Breathing exercises. Like he really needed to practice that.

“Ow!” he shouted as Jacob slapped him again. “Look, I’m really

trying not to judge this stuff.”

“Really?” Jacob asked.
“Really,” Alex promised. “If this is what works for you, I trust

you.”

“Well,” Jacob said, clearing his throat. “I mean, I never said

exactly that it worked for me. I just sort of do it naturally.”

“Yeah, but you’ve done this stuff before, right? I mean, I practice

shifting, and you practice…stacking your vertebrae. Or whatever.
Right?” Alex asked, waiting for reassurance from his mate. Jacob,
however, had suddenly gone very quiet. “Right?”

“Um…”
Alex narrowed his eyes at Jacob. “Where did you get all this stuff

you’ve been telling me?”

“WikiHow?”
Alex raised an eyebrow at Jacob, whose quickly reddening face

was turned determinedly toward the comforter. He hadn’t exactly
checked into it himself, but he had a sneaking suspicion there wasn’t a
Wikipedia page on how to better condition oneself for planeswalking.

“On what?” Alex asked.
Jacob smirked as if at a private joke. “Rather not say.”
“WikiHow on what?”
The smirk widened into a grin. “Astral projection?”
“Oh, you are so dead.”
Jacob laughed and shrieked as Alex grabbed him with both hands

and flipped him over onto the bed, pinning him down before he could
squirm away. “Okay, okay! Give!”

“Nope. Too late, angel,” Alex said, lowering himself over Jacob.

He ran a hand experimentally down his back, and Jacob shivered.
Christ, even the small shudder of his mate under him was getting him
hard. “I’ve got you right where I want you.”

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His hand settled on his mate’s hip, shoving down the waistband of

his pajama bottoms. His thumb traced small circles around the soft
skin there before tracing a line sideways until he reached the very top
of his ass crease, that tiny dimple just above the place where his
cheeks parted. Stroking it, he drew a needy moan from Jacob.

“Well, then,” he said in a low, breathy voice, “I guess you’re just

going to have to punish me.”

Abruptly, Alex brought his ministrations to a halt. He smiled

apologetically at his mate as he crawled off of him. Just what the hell
was wrong with him anyway? Here the poor kid told him he loved
him, and the only thing he rewarded him with in return was a rock-
hard erection every time he contemplated whipping his ass.

“Sorry,” Alex said. “That was stupid.”
Jacob gave him a warning look. “Sex with me is stupid?” he

muttered. “You really know how to stroke a guy’s ego.”

Alex growled. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be stroking a whole

hell of a lot more than that. “That wasn’t what I meant.”

“Well, then what did you mean?” Jacob said, sitting up. As soon

as Alex opened his mouth to answer, Jacob put up a hand to stop him.
“And don’t tell me you’re still hung up on this BDSM stuff, because
I’m pretty damn sure the last time you took me over your knee, I
came all over your lap.”

And licked it off afterward, Alex mentally added, his cock pulsing

at the very thought. Go away, erection. He fairly shouted the
command at his cock, but it wasn’t listening. The memory of Jacob
kneeling between his knees and lapping his own cum off Alex’s
thighs was too tempting a distraction.

As if conspiring against his willpower, Jacob crawled into Alex’s

lap and took his head in his hands. “How many times do I have to tell
you I like the way you are?” he said.

Alex shook his head. If Jacob liked him now, it was only because

he’d kept the worst of his desires from him. “You might think that

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135

now, but I kind of doubt you’ll feel the same way when I have you on
your knees with a ring around your cock and clamps on your nipples.”

“Are you trying to turn me off right now? Because I have to say, it

really isn’t working.” Alex growled with frustration, but Jacob
continued. “We were made for each other, remember? If there’s
something you want, that’s what I want to give you.”

“You don’t know what you want,” Alex muttered.
Jacob’s face crumpled with hurt. “Thanks a lot.”
“No,” Alex protested, pulling his mate back as he tried to crawl

away from him. “That’s not what I meant. Remember our nightmare?
How you ran at me into that crowd of vampires? You’d do anything
for me, even if it hurt you to do it. And that worries me.”

“Do you honestly think you could hurt me?”
Alex didn’t, but it didn’t make him feel like any less of an

insensitive, demanding brute.

“Have you ever hurt anyone doing this?”
Alex sighed. “No, but that’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
“That it’s not…” A thousand words flashed through his head.

Normal. Natural. Decent. Fair. “Nice,” he finally settled on.

Jacob smirked, wrapping his arms around Alex’s neck. “Oh, and

that’s exactly how I want to be fucked. Nicely. God, give it to me,
baby. Oh, yes. Right there. That’s…nice.”

“I respect you,” Alex said, utterly unamused at Jacob’s sarcasm.

“Look, I know we’re different, and I know I joke around, but I do. All
this shit you can do, it’s amazing. And when you respect someone,
you don’t tie him up and spank him.”

“Says who? Jerry Falwell?”
Alex stared blankly at Jacob. “How do you know who Jerry

Falwell is?”

“We get some of the same TV stations on Morgana,” Jacob said.

Then he wrinkled his nose. “The sermons don’t really translate,

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though. I mean, pretty much everyone’s gay there, so most people just
think he’s doing stand-up comedy or something.”

“I have to go to Morgana,” Alex muttered under his breath.
“And you will,” Jacob said. “Just as soon as you stop thinking of

everything exactly the way it’s laid out in that stubborn head of
yours.”

Alex sighed. He knew Jacob had meant it as encouragement, but

Alex doubted his mate had considered just what a monumental feat he
was asking of him. With Alex, everything had always had to be his
way. He’d been a stubborn kid and a willful teenager, but things had
gotten much worse after his parents’ accident. Even though his
younger brothers were adults when it happened, he couldn’t stop
feeling like his older age and bigger body left him responsible for
making sure no one in his family got hurt again. It wasn’t a bad
impulse, but that unflinching need for control had become like a bit of
a drug for him as he dealt with his parents’ unending sleep. It was
probably what had drawn him to the Dom lifestyle in the first place.

Only now, they were awake, and he needed to find a way to ease

that ironclad grip he had on his life. He had to give himself over to
something outside himself if he wanted to make it across the
planesgate.

Or someone.
Jacob remained curled in his lap, stroking one slow index finger

over his eyebrow. Alex closed his eyes, and Jacob’s finger traced a
path down the side of his face to his bottom lip. He rubbed his
fingertip against it, and Alex opened his mouth, almost willing it to
push inside.

In all the times they’d fucked—and there had been quite a few,

given how short a time they’d known each other—Alex had set the
pace, guiding Jacob’s movements, telling him what to do. He’d
stopped himself short of any kind of bondage or discipline, but there
was still an undeniable power dynamic at play. The way Jacob
touched him now, letting his hands wander at will, exploring and

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137

testing his body to gauge his reactions, was different from what Alex
was used to, but no less erotic.

Slowly, deliberately, he sucked Jacob’s finger into his mouth,

stroking his tongue over it. Rather than pushing the finger further
inside him, Jacob pulled away, raising a curious eyebrow at him.

“Say I did,” he said, his voice a little breathless, “want

to…experiment.” Alex had intended for the word to refer to playing
with BDSM, but the fresh memory of Jacob’s finger as it started for a
bare second, to fuck his mouth lent a somewhat different meaning to
the euphemism. “I mean, you know I wouldn’t expect you to submit
to me outside the bedroom or act like a slave or anything?”

“Of course not.”
“And you wouldn’t think I was a total weirdo for wanting to

dominate you?”

Jacob rolled his eyes at the question. “Would you think I was

weird for wanting to submit to you?”

Alex snorted. Obviously not, he thought, but he had to be sure.

“And you wouldn’t feel degraded or abused or anything?”

“Sweetheart,” Jacob said, the frustration in his voice almost

lending it a dominant tone, “the only thing I would feel is sexy as
fuck.”

The combination of the endearment and Jacob’s

uncharacteristically coarse language was enough to draw a smile to
Alex’s face. He didn’t think he’d ever deign to let anyone call him
sweetheart before, but coming from Jacob, all it did was get him hard.
He’d never quite heard his little mate speak to him so sternly before,
but damn if that almost exasperated tone didn’t manage to finally
hammer the point through Alex’s head. There wasn’t anything
demeaning about letting someone else take charge.

In fact, Alex thought, recalling once again the feel of Jacob’s soft

hands roving his body and his fingers sliding into his mouth, given the
right circumstances, he wondered if it couldn’t be kind of hot.

“Kiss me,” Alex said.

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Jacob smirked. “Is that an order?”
Alex shook his head. “It’s…” A request, he’d meant to say, but

before he could, Jacob’s hand dropped to his lap to touch his cock
through the thin fabric of his cotton pants. He grazed his fingers over
it teasingly, and suddenly the idea of begging didn’t seem so out of
the question. “Any way you want, just kiss me.” He swallowed as
Jacob’s fingers slipped under his waistband. “Please?” he asked.

Alex met Jacob’s eyes as he studied him. There was hesitation in

his eyes, but there was desire there as well. “I told you, I like it when
you take control. You don’t have to be ashamed to want that.”

“I’m not,” Alex said, but when Jacob gave him a questioning

look, he recanted. “Okay, maybe I am a little, or was, but I think I’m
starting to understand now. It’s like you said, I need to open up and
stop judging things. So I’m trying.” He took a breath. “And part of
that is understanding other viewpoints outside of my own. I thought
maybe if I didn’t always need to control you, I could understand what
you liked about letting go.”

Jacob gave him a questioning look. “So what are you saying?” he

asked. His fingers had halted in their movements and stayed splayed
just under the band of Alex’s pajama pants. There was only a fraction
of an inch between those soft fingertips and Alex’s cocktip.
Goddamn, he wanted Jacob to close that distance.

“I want…” Alex began, and then a flush rose to his cheeks when

he realized how he intended to end that sentence. He wasn’t sure if
that flush was from embarrassment or excitement. Maybe both. “I
want you to play with me for a while,” he finished.

Jacob smiled. “Yeah?”
“Are you going to make me beg for it?” He smiled knowingly at

Jacob. He doubted his mate would let things go that far, but he was
willing to push him. “Because I will.” Alex cleared his throat.
Suddenly it had gotten very dry, and the end of his thought came out
in a whisper. “If you want me to, I will. I’d do anything for you,
angel.”

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139

That seemed to settle it. In one delicate motion, Jacob brought his

fingers up to Alex’s mouth again, grazing them against his bottom lip
at first, but then pressing them all the way inside his mouth this time.
Alex opened his mouth wide to allow the intrusion, lapping at the two
slender digits until they began to rub against his tongue of their own
volition.

In and out, he pushed against Alex’s mouth, his eyes locked on

Alex’s the whole time. Those green orbs were big and curious as he
explored, and they continued to watch him as he pulled them out,
stroking them across his teeth and gums and letting Alex kiss his
fingertips.

He licked his lips as they withdrew, missing the invasion until

Jacob replaced them with his mouth. They kissed, hungrily, greedily,
nipping lips and sucking tongues as both men fumbled at each other’s
clothes to pull them off. Jacob yanked Alex’s T-shirt roughly over his
head, moving so quickly that his head stuck in the collar and his arms
tangled in the sleeves. Giggling, he slowed his motions, using more
care as he freed Alex from the soft cotton prison.

When he’d gotten it off, they lay down on the bed together. Alex

had already managed to strip Jacob of his shirt and pants, and he ran a
hand down Jacob’s smooth chest to tease the tip of his hard prick. He
closed his eyes as Jacob, too, began to touch him in turn, stroking one
wet finger over his pebbled nipple. His breath hitched as he widened
his motions over Jacob’s cockhead, reaching lower to tease his balls.

Almost reverently, Jacob kissed the bulging muscle of his bicep,

and Alex smiled, delighting in the pleasure his mate took in his body.
Uncertainty flooded him when Jacob took hold of his arm, lifting it
above Alex’s head, but any reservations were silenced as he bent his
head to the soft skin under his arm and began to lick and suck at it.

“God, angel,” Alex breathed as Jacob pinched his nipple. He’d

never had the patience before for this kind of slow, building tease, and
now he knew why. His mate had hardly even palmed his cock and he
was already grinding against his leg to try and rub off an orgasm.

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Impatiently, he reached down and pulled off his pants. As soon as

they were off, Jacob replaced his mouth on Alex’s chest and smiled
against it as he started to kiss a line down his body. Alex’s hands
played in his hair, but he let Jacob take his time getting down there,
letting him kiss and lick along the ridges of his stomach and run his
hands up and down the fronts of his thighs.

He licked the line that divided the muscle plane of his abdomen

and sighed against it happily. In all the time he’d spent training and
developing his body, he’d never given a thought to what it would do
for his sex life. If he’d known the worshipful way those muscles
would someday make his mate look at him, he probably would have
only redoubled his efforts.

“Can I just lick you forever?” Jacob murmured against his skin.
“If you want,” Alex said, his voice strained. Good as it sounded,

he didn’t know how he could possibly last that long.

Luckily, Jacob took that as his cue to suck Alex’s painfully hard

erection into his mouth. Alex moaned, spreading his legs wide as
Jacob’s head bobbed up and down between them. The rhythm he set
was faster than before, his touch firmer, and the sudden contrast had
Alex biting his tongue to stave off his orgasm. He rippled his fingers
through Jacob’s hair, pressed them into his own thighs, and then dug
them into the bedsheets. The building pressure overwhelmed him so
fast he didn’t realize his claws had pushed through his fingertips until
he heard those claws rip through the cotton sheets underneath him.

His eyes flew open, and Jacob’s head snapped up, releasing his

cock with a pop as they both stared at the long tears Alex’s claws had
made in the sheets from clutching them so hard.

“Damn,” Jacob breathed between gasps.
“Yeah,” Alex agreed.
They both laughed, but when Jacob moved his hand back to

Alex’s wet cock, his eyes trailed helplessly back between his legs and
his laugh became a groan. With one hand, Jacob groped and tugged at

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141

his balls while the other pressed the inside of his thigh open. His wet,
teasing hand slid underneath his balls to his perineum and lower.

When it pressed down firmly against the taut skin of his tight hole,

Alex yelped.

Jacob’s concerned eyes flew to Alex’s face immediately. “I’m

sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s okay,” Alex said. As much as the touch had surprised him, he

didn’t want his mate to think he’d hurt him. And anyway, he figured,
it wasn’t like he couldn’t take it.

Slowly, he moved his hand down to Jacob’s and closed it over his,

guiding his fingers back down to the place they’d found before.
Jacob’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as they lingered there
together. He looked at Alex as if he’d just been given some private
secret Alex had never confessed to anyone. It was true in a way, Alex
supposed, but there was something else in those green eyes, too,
something resolute and loyal that told Alex he could trust him.

Gently, Alex took his hand and urged Jacob’s fingers to press

inside him. When he did, Jacob’s mouth fell open and his other hand
found his own cock.

Alex closed his eyes as Jacob began to move inside his body. His

mate’s touch was tentative and careful, but God, he could feel every
inch of it. Slowly, he guided Jacob’s wrist back to drag the finger out,
wincing and holding his breath.

“Does it hurt?” Jacob whispered, his voice quiet and reverent.
Alex didn’t want to tell him yes. Instead, he urged Jacob to push

back in, so far this time that single slender finger hit a spot inside him
he’d never felt before. In an instant, that sharp, burning pain
blossomed into pleasure, and Alex cried out, surprising himself at the
abandon inside his voice. His hand slipped from Jacob’s wrist, and
Jacob pulled out quickly afterward, mistaking his cry of pleasure for
one of pain. Needing to feel those fingers inside him again, Alex
opened his eyes, and he stopped his mate with a look.

“Again,” he panted. “Please.”

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Jacob thrust in again, finding that same spot and causing Alex to

move his hips in tandem with Jacob’s movements, swiveling them,
bucking against them, eager to find that place inside him that made
him feel as if the boundaries of his own body had dissolved into the
ether.

Jacob was there to pull him blissfully back to earth. His lips found

the soft skin at the inside of his thigh and began to suck and nibble at
it, lapping all the way up to Alex’s balls before he pressed another
finger inside of Alex. In some small, distant part of him, Alex
registered the pressure of that extra digit pushing in and stretching his
body, but the rest of him was too busy moaning and twisting and
clutching the sheets to give a damn.

The steady rhythm of Jacob’s movements began to give, and

Jacob pulled his mouth away from Alex. “I’m close,” Jacob panted, “I
mean, if you want to fuck me…” He took a breath. “We should do
that.” He breathed again. “Like right away.”

Alex looked down to see that Jacob was still stroking himself, his

sweet expression a mask of concentration with closed eyes and a
worried brow. Jacob was trying so hard to keep control of his body,
but in that moment, Alex would have given him anything he wanted.

“Don’t stop,” he said.
Jacob continued, hard and fast and reckless, drawing from Alex a

loud, long moan that seemed to set off his mate like a firecracker.
Alex had never been so wild or so loud as he was today, but God, if
his mate wasn’t a screamer. He felt Jacob’s seed paint the insides of
his thighs and his fingers curled inside of Alex.

“Oh, fuck, angel,” he moaned as his own orgasm started to build

again.

Panting, Jacob responded by fucking his fingers harder into

Alex’s hole, but Alex wanted more, wanted those hands not only
inside of but on top of him. He guided Jacob’s hand to cover his cock,
and suddenly it was all Jacob, Jacob guiding his movements, Jacob
measuring out his pleasure as he writhed and moaned and ground his

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hips into his fingers and hand. The fingers his mate used to stroke his
cock were covered in his own cum, sliding up and down his dick
through the slick, sticky liquid so fast Alex was surprised they didn’t
slide off of him. That same slow-building pressure was engulfing him
now, threatening to swallow him, but he didn’t want to let it go.

Suddenly, he heard Jacob’s voice in his ear. “Come,” he breathed,

the word strained and frantic as if he was still hovering on the edge of
his own pleasure rather than having just taken it. “Please come. Just
like this. I want to make you feel so good. Please, please, baby. I love
you so much. I want to see how happy I make you. Please come for
me.”

Alex came, hard as he ever had, the milky white liquid spurting all

over Jacob’s hand and Alex’s stomach. Jacob bent his head to lick it
from him, and Alex moaned as his mate sucked gently around the
head of his softening cock, working to lap up every inch. Alex didn’t
wait for him to finish. He drew his mate close to him, dragging him
up to meet his mouth with his, and kissed him.

When he pulled away, Jacob’s cheeks were bright red against his

pale white skin, and he was smiling blissfully. “Good?” he asked.

Alex looked down at Jacob, resting his head on his chest. He

arched an eyebrow at his mate. “Do you really need to ask?”

Jacob’s smile widened. “Well…” he began, his voice radiating a

confidence Alex had never heard in it before. He liked it.

“Well?” Alex teased, bringing Jacob’s hand to his mouth. His

fingers were still sticky, and Alex could taste his own cum on them. It
tasted salty. He liked Jacob’s better.

“Well, I suppose I could assume from certain…” Jacob trailed off

as Alex continued to lap and suck the semen off of Jacob’s fingertips.
Jacob gave him a look. “That’s my job, you know.”

“I don’t care.”
Suddenly, Jacob’s expression darkened. “Are you sure you’re

okay with this? I was worried at first. You know, after the nightmare?
I just didn’t want you to feel like you were…or I was…fuck.” He

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buried his face in the crook of Alex’s shoulder, and Alex ran his
fingers between his shoulder blades. “That feels good,” he murmured.

Alex continued to stroke that same patch of skin as he considered

Jacob’s question. It did seem like the nightmare, that horrible feeling
of powerlessness and humiliation he’d felt at being restrained and
whipped, might have occurred to him when Jacob had him at his
mercy, but it hadn’t. He’d been too focused on pleasure, his and his
mate’s, to even give it a passing thought. It was the same with the
dream, he realized. He’d been miserable in his restraints, but mostly
because of the way they had prevented him from keeping Jacob safe.

“I just don’t want you to feel like you had to,” Jacob said.
“Not at all,” Alex said, drawing Jacob’s fingers to his mouth again

to kiss the nail beds. “Kinda like your fingers in my mouth.”

Jacob sighed with apparent relief. “Okay, but the next time you

fuck me, I demand that you spank the holy hell out of me.”

Alex’s cock was still softening from the monster orgasm he’d just

had, but that sure as hell made it wake up and take notice. He moved
his mouth close to Jacob’s ear. He wasn’t embarrassed about his
desires anymore, but there was something intimate about the idea of
sharing his needs with his mate. It made him want to whisper them to
him. “Awfully demanding, aren’t we, sub?”

He said the word sub softly, almost like an endearment, and he

couldn’t help but feel his heart swell at how pleased Jacob seemed
with it. Sub, he had called him, and there wasn’t anything wrong with
that. Jacob was his, after all. His mate. His sub. His angel.

“Sub. I think I’m gonna like that,” Jacob crooned back to him.
“Me too,” Alex agreed. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come

around to the idea. I just want you to understand, the other guys I’ve
been with, that was about control. It was only about control. This…”
He couldn’t bring himself to say it, so instead he squeezed Jacob’s
hand and pressed it to his lips.

“What’s this about?” Jacob asked softly.

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145

Good question, Alex thought. His heart was pounding, and he

could feel his mate’s breath on his chest. He wrapped his arms around
him, pulling Jacob as tightly to him as he could, but God, he couldn’t
bring himself to say what he knew his mate longed to hear.

“It’s okay,” Jacob whispered. “You don’t have to.”
He moved his body against Alex’s and turned around to be

spooned. Alex thought if he could just see his mate’s trusting emerald
eyes, he could find the courage to say it, but they were gone now.
There was just the smooth skin of his back pressing against his chest
and his rounded ass against his groin.

He rested his chin on Jacob’s shoulder, bringing his mouth close

to his ear. “I don’t know what I’m doing with you,” he began. “I’ve
never even really had a relationship before, so—”

“I told you, you don’t have to say it. You’re with me. It’s enough.

I still love you,” Jacob said. That last whispered statement dug at the
ache in Alex’s stomach, urging him on.

“You make me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling.

And do things I didn’t think I could do. I don’t even think I was a
whole person before I met you, but now…” His breath hitched,
stopping his sentence. “You make me feel…” There was so much
emotion swelling in his body, he couldn’t begin to sort through it.

Unable to put a name to those feelings, he closed his mouth with

finality. Jacob might have brought him to a place where he could be
more open, but after a lifetime of living in an emotional vacuum, of
fucking people he barely knew, of never being in a serious
relationship or even on a date with anyone else, what the hell did he
know about love? Besides, he was used to living on the Earth plane,
not Morgana, like his mate was used to. People didn’t mate here.
They got married. Sweeping declarations of love didn’t always seem
to mean what Alex thought they ought to. He didn’t want to tell his
mate until he was sure. And how the hell could he be sure about
something so indefinite and indescribable?

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Coward, an inner voice whispered at him, and he cleared his

throat, determined to explain himself. When he opened his mouth,
though, his words failed him. He sighed with guilt, but his mate just
squeezed his hand and pulled him closer. “I understand,” he said.
“This is about something else.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed lamely, cursing himself for his characteristic

lack of eloquence. “You know what I’m talking about, right?”

“I know,” Jacob whispered. He turned and smiled at Alex, rubbing

against him. “You meant sex, right? I mean, judging by the hard-on
you’re pushing into my back.” Alex swatted him on the ass, and he
laughed. “Okay, now I know it’s about sex.”

“I hate you,” Alex said against his ear, but his voice came out soft

and caring.

“I hate you, too,” his mate replied just as sweetly, “liar.”
Alex’s skin heated, and he knew he was blushing. For once in his

life, he didn’t give a damn. Jacob had managed to penetrate his soul
and mind and now even his body. His mate was knocking at the walls
he’d so carefully constructed around his heart and locked himself
inside. Alex worried about Jacob pushing past those walls, worried
about how he’d feel when he got inside them, scared and naked and
vulnerable. He lay there, holding his mate, heart pounding, hands
shaking, head spinning, and stomach turning. As much as he worried,
though, he didn’t feel weak at all, even as the emotion he’d been
circling around hit him with the intensity of a freight train.

“Jacob,” he whispered, but his sleeping mate didn’t make a sound

or move a muscle. He said it anyway. “I love you.”

Still sleeping, Jacob nuzzled closer to Alex’s chest, hugging Alex

tighter and making his heart swell with happiness. He held tight to
that feeling as sleep overwhelmed him. They hadn’t talked about
nightmares since the last one they’d shared, and there was always a
bit of anxiety about falling asleep, but not this time. This time all he
felt was peace.

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Chapter Eight

Someone small and scared was whimpering in the darkness.
“Alex,” the voice begged, “please—”
A growl interrupted the plea, and Alex’s eyes flew open,

searching the darkness. His heart clenched when he saw the empty
bed beside him. He hadn’t recognized the voice as Jacob’s at first. He
knew why it sounded unfamiliar now.

He wasn’t used to hearing his mate this scared.
Only once before had he heard Jacob’s frightened whimper, soft

and trembling as it was now. It was in their nightmare, and Alex’s
inner beast had roared against his useless human skin to save his
mate. Was he dreaming now? Alex didn’t know and he didn’t give a
damn. He’d promised his mate he would never let the dangers of that
dream find him again. He didn’t intend to break that promise.

Keeping his body still, Alex gave his eyes over to his wolf, letting

them shift to help him see in the dark. It killed him not to
acknowledge his mate’s frightened whimper, but he couldn’t give
away that he was awake, not until he’d surveyed the room, sized up
his attacker, and planned his attack. The small shift satiated the beast
inside him a little, but the knowledge that his mate was in danger
brought a snarl to his lips and a growl to his throat that he could only
silence for so long. He’d wait though, just a few bare seconds until he
could be certain how best to strike.

He wanted to surprise the bastard when he tore his throat out.
The bastards, he corrected himself when his wolfen eyes saw

clearly. There was Jacob, standing in the center of the room, naked as
he’d been when he fell asleep earlier that night, and there was his

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captor, a man almost as large as Alex, grasping Jacob’s thin, bare
arms in his hands. Alex could scent he was a shifter, and it would be
enough of a struggle to take him down, but he didn’t make a move to
do it. Instead, he lay paralyzed, his mind racing, fear surging through
his body almost as sharply as it rose inside his mate’s. There was
nothing he could do to help him.

Standing ahead of the man that held Jacob, forming a snarling,

growling protective wall around the bed where Alex lay, were a half a
dozen wolves. For that many of them to be hiding in Borderland
undetected was impossible. They must have come across the
planesgate, Alex determined, but hell if he knew how. There were no
planeswalkers anywhere. Adrianna had shared with her family the
secret of getting across without them, but Alex doubted these huge,
hulking monsters, poised for attack, could have possibly figured that
out on their own. They didn’t seem willing to make themselves
vulnerable to anything. In fact, quite the opposite. They looked
dominant and deadly and murderous.

That jarring realization brought Alex’s musings to a halt. All the

thinking and planning in the world wouldn’t gain Alex an edge in this
fight. He was just plain fucked.

All he could do was fling himself, bloodthirsty and suicidal, into

the fray and hope to God his mate got out alive.

He didn’t wait another instant. Alex let himself melt into a

murderous beast as he gave himself over to his animal instincts to roar
and rage and protect. Leaping off the bed, he snapped his jaw open a
second before it contacted the furry scruff of the animal ahead of him,
and he sank into the warm skin underneath it, vicious as he could. For
a human, it would be impossible to kill a werewolf without a silver
blade or bullet, but as another supernatural, Alex knew he could if he
struck hard and fast enough. Small cuts and scratches would heal, but
his strong jaws could rip out a jugular or snap a spine. He could land a
fatal wound if he was quick enough.

It was going to be damn difficult, though.

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Sharp claws scratched down his back, and he bucked backward to

thwart his attacker as he continued to struggle against the first wolf.
His victim was flailing and whimpering now, but his attacker had
redoubled his efforts, and Alex had to turn to him to fight him off. As
soon as he did, he was faced with another wolf. And another.

He was surrounded.
Fear sank into his body, pushing into him, trying to overwhelm his

body and penetrate his mind, but he fought to keep it out. Jacob had
racked his mind and body and spirit and reached his inner sanctum,
but he needed to be his old self now, needed the emptiness and single-
minded, cold-blooded purpose he once felt, back when the only
welcome surge of feeling he allowed was the rush of adrenaline as his
body broke free of the limits that tried to bind it. One involuntary
tense of a muscle, one pang of remorse, one whimper of his mate’s
voice in his head and his focus would snap. Six wolves would
descend on one, and he’d never stand a chance of even reaching his
mate.

Further and further he retreated, into that place inside where, void

of emotion, he could snap and bite and claw his way out. His body
was a machine primed for survival, and his every instinct pushed him
through that fighting wall of fur. He felt his body scratched and
clawed, hurt and healed, feeling muscles and ligatures tear and
reform, blood flow and tissues broken, testing the very limits of what
he could renew, restore, recover, and still continue to fight.

He made it out alive. Better than alive, he’d won. Panting,

shaking, he tore himself from the last, now dead, attacker, and turned
to free his mate.

His heart sank into his chest when he did.
Once again, Jacob wasn’t there.
Still shifted, Alex ran down the stairs, out the door, through the

woods, far as he could go and as fast as he could manage. He had to
follow the scent of his mate, had to attune himself to the pull that
urged them together like magnets, and the more he did, the more he

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felt that same cold edge of fear fighting to penetrate his mind. Jacob
was out there, and as Alex’s paws shot out and came together, hard
and fast from years of practice, he could feel the gap between them
closing. His mate’s frightened mind and overwhelming emotions
latched onto Alex like a sieve, sapping his energy, making him feel
like he was moving through a haze or in a dream as he made his way
to the cliff. He couldn’t push his mate away for fear of losing him, but
by the time he began to race up the all-too-familiar path to where he
knew his love was waiting for him, his legs wanted to buckle under
him and his stomach longed to upchuck the icy ball of dread lodged
inside it.

He could see the messy tufts of his mate’s brown hair poking up

as he sprinted the last yards of the path up to the cliff. His mate’s
captor struggled to pull him up the last few feet to the drop-off as
Jacob fought against him, kicking and screaming fiercely to wrench
his body back in the other direction. When his eyes locked on Alex,
Jacob’s arms shot out toward him and he screamed his name,
redoubling his efforts.

Alex leapt toward him, letting his wolfen feet give way to human

hands that reached out to Jacob’s open arms. They connected at the
edge of the cliff, and the force of their contact flung the three of
them—Alex, Jacob, and the monster who’d kidnapped him—off the
cliff together. Alex fought the bastard tooth and nail for his mate, but
he couldn’t pull him away.

As they free-fell off the cliff, he could feel Jacob giving himself

over to the force of fate, the pull of the planesgate, and the more Alex
struggled to pull his mate’s attacker off of him, the more he felt his
mate slipping away. He grasped at Jacob’s hands, at his arms, at his
back, trying to pull him close, trying to keep him safe, but his strength
was useless. That fragile, thin body was lost to him.

They hit the water, and Jacob disappeared into the ether, taking

his attacker with him.

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Only Alex suffered the impact of the jagged rocks as they sliced

into the muscles of his back. Only Alex remained on Earth, alone and
hurt and bleeding.

His wounds knit closed and his pain receded, but nothing could

stop the ache in his heart. He’d failed. His mate was in danger, and
he’d failed him. The dam of his emotions broke, and there was
nothing he could do to keep them at bay. He let his body swell and
shudder and sob with the weight of his loss, trying to will his mind to
regain the connection he’d felt so strongly between them a moment
ago. He’d worried only a moment ago that the intensity of emotion
he’d received from Jacob would distract him, but he let it overwhelm
him now, yearning for anything that would help to remind him of his
mate, anything that would help to bridge the gap between them.

He concentrated as hard as he could, until he could swear he felt

that connection swell with the force of his efforts, and even then he
steeled his mind to focus harder. As if he could will himself back to
Jacob. As if he could bring his mate back to him. As if he could join
them together in a single unit, with both their gifts melded together as
one, his strength and Jacob’s perception and understanding.

A month, a week, even a day ago, he would have judged the task

insurmountable, even laughable, but he didn’t bother his mind with
such ideas anymore. He was done judging.

He opened his mind, hoping he could feel his mate flood into it.

* * * *

Jacob panicked when he felt Alex slip away from him as he

crossed the planesgate. The weight of his mate fell away, and it was
only his captor holding him. He turned and twisted to get away,
kicking and clawing and biting just to pull away from the much larger
man as they tumbled through the void connecting the supernatural and
natural realms. Jacob felt his captor shift as they fell, his claws biting
into Jacob’s skin to try to subdue him. The cityscape of Morgana

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vampire territory had already started to crystallize, but Jacob could
sense that something was wrong. He was cut. The wolf that held him
scratched too hard, and Jacob felt the loss of blood, too much of it all
at once, pulling him back through that void, making him dizzy.

Morgana and the wolf faded back into the ether until he could feel

nothing but the ragged, open wound on his head and see nothing but
the thick drops of red that ran down from it. That slow trail of liquid
crimson eclipsed all else, blurring his vision and burning his eyes. The
last thing he remembered was reaching up to try to wipe it away, and
seeing with clear eyes that the whole world itself had turned vividly,
impossibly red.

He closed his eyes and let the dizziness overwhelm him.
When he came to, two lips pressed onto the cut on his head, and

as they did, his wound seemed to heal, the same way Alex’s mating
bite had sealed when he licked it closed. Only these weren’t the soft,
warm lips of his mate’s. They were thin, and they were cold.

Murdock’s. His father’s.
That same sick cold shot through him like a knife, causing him to

tense even as the pain of injury died away. He opened his eyes and
backed up, far as he could, onto the bed. The silken crimson sheets
were sliding under his grip, and he felt his back hit the headboard and
his heart pounding in his throat.

Jacob looked around him. Murdock’s chambers were the same as

they’d been in his last nightmare. Except for the two of them, the
cavernous room was empty, but those strange red doors Jacob had
seen emerge from the floors and walls and ceilings were there as well,
beckoning Jacob toward them with their eerie glow. He didn’t know
where the hell they went, but the chance might be worth it if it took
him away from Murdock.

Imperceptibly slowly, he inched toward the edge of the bed. It

wasn’t slow enough, though, and a sudden jolt of energy from outside
him jerked him back to the place he sat. Recovering from the blow, he

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looked up at Murdock. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring into the
space ahead of him.

“I wouldn’t, if I were you,” he said coolly.
“What do you want with me?” Jacob asked. Several long, tense

moments passed before Murdock answered him.

“Bait,” Murdock said simply. “I want to use you as bait. We’ll

wait here for your mate to come, and when he does, I’ll have my
revenge.”

He isn’t coming, Jacob almost said, recalling the feeling of loss as

he’d slipped through the planesgate without his mate, but he didn’t
dare inform his father of this. He didn’t want to give him any more
information than he had to, didn’t want to let him any closer to even
the idea of his mate. Jacob stomach clenched, remembering the pain
he’d inflicted on Alex the last time Murdock got ahold of him. “It
wasn’t enough before?”

“It’s never enough,” Murdock said quietly. There was blood on

his lip, Jacob’s blood. Absently, Murdock licked it away, but there
was none of the thrill Jacob was used to seeing in his father’s eyes
when he performed the gesture. His yellow eyes were cold and dead
and mirthless.

“Why?” he asked desperately, pleadingly. “Morgana was fine

until you took over. The vampires fed off the planeswalkers, but they
didn’t decimate them. You did that. You were one of us once, and you
did that. Why couldn’t you live with that balance? Why did you have
to keep taking more and more until—”

“Because I wanted it,” Murdock snapped, standing and pacing the

room. His voice was angry, but there was a note of defense in it, a
vulnerability Jacob had never heard in his voice. “Because I was
strong enough to take it, and that made it mine to take.”

“But why? Why do you care what I say to him if you’re never

around to see him? He’s just a child. The voices scare him. He needs
to know that they won’t hurt him. He needs to hear that he’s okay.”

“He’s not okay! He’s—”

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“Do you really believe that it’s a disease that makes him like this?

I told you, there’s nothing wrong with the way you are.”

“The way I am? I’m not like that anymore.”
“Of course you are. You have a gift. Although I don’t think this is

how you ought to be using it.”

“I’ll use it however I like. I’m stronger now. Quite strong and

quite powerful. You’d do well to remember that. You’d do well to
listen to me.”

The voices in Jacob’s head were clear as if they’d just been

spoken. Jacob recognized both of them. His mother and father were
speaking about him, it seemed, but he’d never heard them speaking to
each other before. He’d never even seen them in the same room with
each other. Growing up, Jacob had always assumed his mother was as
afraid of Murdock as everyone else on Morgana was, if not more so.
But the way she spoke to him just then, quietly and sympathetically,
suggested otherwise. Jacob wondered when that had changed.

“Say to him what you said to me, even once, and I swear I’ll hunt

you down and kill you both.”

“What are you doing?” Murdock asked. His eyes searched

Jacob’s, and for the first time Jacob saw fear on his father’s face. As
if he knew what had happened. “What did you hear?”

“Hear?” Jacob asked.
“What are you so afraid of?” his mother asked. “Do you honestly

want him to hate himself as much as you hated yourself? To be as
miserable and frightened as you were when you saw the same visions
and heard the same voices—”

“What voices did you hear?” Jacob asked.
“I don’t hear any voices.”
“I don’t hear them anymore. And I’m not afraid of anyone.”
“Including him?” his mother asked, a challenge in her voice.
“Like you said, he’s just a child. If I were afraid of what he could

do, I’d kill him now. Should I? Be afraid?”

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His mother said nothing for a moment. When she finally spoke,

her voice was different, weaker, the way Jacob remembered it. “I
won’t say a word,” she said.

All around him, the room was changing. The multitude of doors

were opening, and light poured out from each as the legions of
planeswalkers, vamps, and weres began to filter into the room from
every conceivable place. They stumbled toward Murdock, drawn
toward him like a magnet, as if his very being commanded their
presence, drawing them out of the red doors, drawing them to him.

As if he couldn’t keep them away.
“You were just like me,” Jacob said quietly, suddenly

understanding. “Weren’t you? You used to hear things, see things,
and you thought it made you weak and vulnerable.”

“I was never weak,” Murdock said.
The throng of servants was coming closer to Murdock, swarming

him, surrounding him. Each of the countless red doors had swung
wide open to accommodate the influx of people, but it also let in that
bright and penetrating light. Bathed by the light, Murdock flinched.
He shrank from its glow, but there was nowhere to go. It was
everywhere.

“No,” Jacob said, “but you thought you were. You thought there

was something wrong with you. You probably wanted to be
changed,” Jacob said. “You wanted to be a vamp so you couldn’t get
hurt anymore—”

Murdock tensed and growled at the words. “And I was never

hurt.”

“And when you were changed, it made you powerful. Instead of

being overwhelmed by everything everyone felt, you could control
them. You could force them to do things. Mom told you that you had
a gift, but you didn’t believe her, did you? Not until you were
changed. And once you were, you understood what you could do.
What you could always do, if you’d just put your mind to it instead of
giving up.”

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Cowering to block out the rays of the light, Murdock looked

smaller, weaker, but there was a wall of people around him.

“Why were you afraid of me?” Jacob asked Murdock.
He didn’t respond, only hid behind that wall of mute and lifeless

vessels. Finally Murdock raised his hate-filled eyes to Jacob, and as
he did, the crowd turned as a single body to face him. The same
spiteful look in Murdock’s eye was echoed in each of their gazes.

“Why?” Jacob asked again, his voice pleading. He didn’t expect

an answer, and he didn’t get one. And those murderous eyes were still
staring him down, poised and ready to strike. Jacob tried his best to
swallow his fear, to hold on to the memory of his mother’s words as
she defended him, but surrounded by that throng of attackers, he just
felt so very small.

Back in his bedroom, Jacob had watched as Alex had fought off a

dozen wolves. They had descended on him, snapping, snarling, and
full of fury, but Alex was stronger, and he had fought them off. Jacob
was surrounded by dozens of wolves now, and vamps, and
planeswalkers, all of them staring at him like predators regarding their
prey.

“Where are you, Alex? I need you.” He cast the thought out into

the void, not expecting an answer. His mate was strong, but he
couldn’t hear things the way Jacob could, couldn’t feel that
connection across the world that separated them, couldn’t even make
the journey across the distance.

“I’m right here, angel. I’m always with you.”
Jacob’s eyes widened, feeling adrenaline coursing through his

veins, feeling hope shoot through him. His gaze darted frantically
around the room, but all he saw were those angry, faded faces washed
out by the now-blinding light.

“Where?” He searched the room again, frantic. “Where?”
The mob of washed-out faces was moving closer, closing in on

him now, but his fear wasn’t rising. There was something else

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growing inside him, a strange ripple underneath his body, where his
wolf was prickling under the surface of his skin.

His wolf? Jacob looked down, shocked to see claws peeking

through the nail beds on his fingers.

“Not yours, angel. Mine.”
A strange surge of power from somewhere deep inside him lifted

his hand again and flung it outward, casting the claws out ahead of
him. It was the same gesture he’d seen Murdock make a thousand
times, the same one he’d used to control the actions of so many
people in his life and in his death. Jacob knew where that power came
from now. It came from the “weakness” that he so often mocked
Jacob for, from his special abilities to connect and merge with other
people’s minds and souls. He just needed a little strength to help him
wield it.

He had that strength now, he realized. He had Alexander.
The second Jacob’s wrist shot out ahead of him, his attackers fell

back as if stricken by some unseen force. When he pulled his hand
back, the crowd swayed with the movement, as if they were
marionettes and he was the puppeteer. He swung his arm again, and
they collapsed like dominoes around him. As they did, he could see
Murdock once again, his face again betraying the fear that seemed so
foreign to it. Murdock twitched, as if to shake the fear out of him, and
his face contorted with rage.

Opening his mouth to bare his fangs, he hissed at Jacob, making

his way toward him across the room through the maze of open doors
that lined it. The light flooding from the open doors continued to
brighten, seeming to fuel Murdock’s frustration and slow his progress
toward the bed.

Watching him approach, Jacob felt the surge of power inside him

again, rising up stronger than even before, unstoppable in its progress.
With a final swell, claw and fur and fang burst from his body. Jacob
stared in amazement as Alex’s wolf exploded, ghostlike, from his
chest. It seemed like a specter at first, a dream or a hallucination, and

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Jacob had to blink his eyes to be sure he wasn’t seeing things, but that
ghost solidified into a real, tangible being in midair, as real as if Alex
had been in the room with them all along. He leaped through the air,
fangs and claws exposed as he slammed into Murdock.

His skin tingling, his chest heaving, Jacob watched from the bed

as the wolf’s strong jaws sank into Murdock’s throat, tearing it out in
a single fluid motion. An inhuman wail rose as Murdock sank to his
knees, the front of his body a mask of blood. That same wail died as
his head slumped lifelessly onto his chest and his face began to
shrivel and age like an old rotten piece of fruit. Alex, now shifted
back into his human form, stood still over the body, his eyes
transfixed as it completed its change.

Jacob’s eyes met Alex’s, and he nodded.
It was over now.
Murdock was dead.
They weren’t the only ones who noticed. The crowd of

supernaturals that had flooded the room earlier had begun to stir,
rising from the floor, dazed, as if they had all just awoken from a
dream. Alex gazed around the room at them, his body tense, a fire in
his eye Jacob recognized from when he’d attacked the wolves earlier.
If there was to be another fight, he wanted to be ready for it.

There wasn’t. As Alex turned to see the masses of supernaturals

on the floor, they halted halfway in their movements, bowing their
heads. They didn’t rise from the floor, not all the way, not altogether.
Instead, their bodies made a single motion, rippling through the crowd
like a wave as they turned to look at the man who had killed
Murdock, who had freed them from his psychic grip.

They were kneeling.
Alex stared at them, looking just as uncertain with the kneeling

masses before him as Jacob had been with his ability to command
them. Curious, he swung his hand out again, but noticed no change in
the masses now that Alex’s wolf wasn’t lurking inside his body. So
much for that. Alex crossed to Jacob now, mindful of the gaps that

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were still yawning up from the floor where several open red doors
lined the tile. The light was still radiating out of them, bright as it had
been before or, if possible, brighter, as Alex reached the bed and
Jacob reached out to his open arms.

He felt a rumble underneath him as their hands touched, and

looked up. The high ceiling of the room was cracked, and light was
shining in from outside it. The cracks grew deeper, and a piece of
plaster crumbled and fell, sailing to the floor dangerously close to
Alex’s head.

“Look out!”
Alex wrapped his arms around Jacob, pulling them both out of the

way of the falling plaster, but more cracks had begun to rise in the
walls and ceiling, and more of the room had begun to crumble around
them. The floor shook again as it began to give way, and the throngs
of supernaturals dropped down into the lighted doorways and between
the cracks.

Jacob fought to stay on the bed with Alex, nearly sliding off the

edge and plummeting off of it. He slipped from his mate’s grasp, but
Alex’s hand shot out and grabbed his, so tightly he worried he might
pull it from the socket.

“Hold on,” he said, and Jacob tried to scramble back onto the bed

as the room exploded into light. There was no ground left to stand on,
and he was certain any moment they would either free-fall into that
endless light or be swallowed up by it altogether.

Whatever would come of them, he held onto his mate’s hand,

worried that once again he’d feel him slip away as they tumbled into
whatever strange space awaited them. He wouldn’t let it happen. It
couldn’t, not anymore. He had seen exactly what the two of them
were capable of now that their souls had united.

And nothing in this world was ever going to tear them apart.

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Chapter Nine

Jacob opened his eyes, and he was in Alex’s arms again. He didn’t

remember falling through the planesgate, only waking up, cuddled
against his mate just the way he was before the wolves came and
captured him, as if the whole thing had been a bad dream.

He blinked his eyes, turning in Alex’s arms to face him and

nudging his mate until he started to stir. “Mmm?” he asked sleepily.

“What happened?” Jacob asked. For the life of him, he didn’t

know if he’d been on another plane or if he’d just had the longest and
weirdest nightmare of his life.

“Nothing, angel, go back to sleep.”
“Okay.” Jacob nodded against Alex’s chest, his heart pounding,

his breath quick and heavy. He didn’t know if he could go back to
sleep, but God, he was glad he was safe for the moment.

Suddenly, Alex’s eyes flew open, taking Jacob in. His hands,

already wrapped around Jacob’s stomach and shoulders, grasped at
him desperately.

“Oh my God,” he panted. “Oh, Jesus, I thought I’d lost you. You

were—”

“On the Red Plane,” Jacob finished. “I don’t know how I got back

here.” His eyes searched his mate’s, looking for the answers that he
was wondering himself. Alex had laid waste to practically a whole
pack of wolves in this room earlier, but there was no trace of them
now, only the darkness of the room they’d fallen asleep in. “Was it all
just a dream? About the wolves? About Murdock?”

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“Does it matter?” Alex asked against Jacob’s throat, squeezing

him impossibly tighter. It wasn’t like there was very much room left
between them to begin with.

“Guess not,” Jacob panted. One of Alex’s arms was wrapped tight

around his chest, pushing his shoulder against Alex’s chest, and the
other was pushed flat across his back, just as tight as it would go. His
neck rested against the crook of his shoulder, his chin digging into his
clavicle as he pressed kiss after hard, sloppy, desperate kiss into the
side of Jacob’s throat. Jacob tried, with some effort, to inhale. “Alex,
you’re kind of crushing me.”

“I don’t care. I’m not letting go.”
All the same, he loosened his grip enough for Jacob to take a

breath. But just barely. He breathed in and out, feeling Alex’s chest
heave in rhythm with his, and let himself relax into his mate’s
restricting grip. He couldn’t move, but he didn’t mind. He was in his
mate’s arms. There wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be.

Alex’s arms stayed wrapped around him, still and unyielding, but

his hips shifted, and Jacob could feel the hard length of his cock
pressed against his mate’s. Suddenly, Alex’s protective confinement
was transformed from a feeling of comfort to one of utter eroticism.

“Alex?” he breathed.
“You’re not moving, angel. Get used to it.”
Jacob’s cock, already hard as nails, fairly pulsed at the words.

“Definitely used to it,” he muttered. Then, summoning his courage, he
added, “You should restrain me more often.”

Alex’s breath had been warming his neck at a slow, steady pace,

but at Jacob’s last statement, it stopped altogether. “Are you
suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Maybe.” Jacob smirked as he felt Alex’s cock already grinding

against his thigh. “I take it you like that idea?”

Alex growled softly into his ear, and suddenly those hands were

alive and crawling over Jacob’s naked skin. He sighed inwardly,
loving the gentle pressure of those hands as they skimmed over his

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body, but wondering what it would be like to be plucked, played with,
teased, and tortured by them.

Jacob sucked in his breath as Alex dipped his head to lave at one

of his nipples. When he took the hardened nub between his teeth,
Jacob bit his lip and moaned. He didn’t want to push Alex, not so
soon after they had only just discussed the subject of D-s at length,
but the way his mate’s hands roamed up his arms, resting over them
but not quite pinning them onto the bed as he continued to torture
Jacob’s nipple, made that an almost insurmountable task. Alex
reached one hand down between Jacob’s thighs—which practically
fell open the instant his mate’s fingers grazed them—and then
wrapped his fingers around the base of his dick and held them there.

It had suddenly become very difficult not to think about cock

rings.

Jacob managed to keep his mouth shut, but the moan that escaped

his throat was low and long and needy. Alex wrenched his mouth
from Jacob’s nipple and whispered against his chest. “What do you
need, angel?”

One of Alex’s palms pressed flat against his cock, the fingers still

encasing the base tightly. His other hand came down from Jacob’s
wrists to pluck at the nipple that had yet to be sucked. Jacob didn’t
want to say it, but he’d never been very good at controlling himself.

“What did you say earlier”—he gasped as Alex twisted the

sensitive nub before stroking his thumb over it—“about nipple
clamps?”

He’d anticipated Alex’s ministrations coming to a woeful,

regrettable halt, but instead his hand only tightened around his cock
and his fingers twisted harder around his nipple.

“Is that what you want?” Alex asked. His voice was low and dark,

the way it got when he wanted his words to be heeded.

Jacob could only whimper in response.
“Tell me, angel,” he said, and licked his throat.

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“Yes, sir,” Jacob breathed, and he smiled at the groan that title

drew out of his mate.

Alex left the bed, and Jacob lay there in the darkness, waiting for

his mate to return and wondering what dark instruments of pleasure
he would bring with him when he did. He heard a dresser drawer
creak open, and he could just make out Alex’s outline as he turned
over his shoulder and said coolly, “If you’re touching yourself when I
get back, that’s ten.”

Wanting to please his mate, Jacob didn’t move a muscle, but

damn, if those words didn’t make it even more difficult to keep his
fidgeting, eager hand off his dick. The drawer creaked shut, and Jacob
held his breath as he listened for Alex’s approaching footsteps
padding across the floor.

He wasn’t moving yet.
“I want to be very clear about some things,” Alex said. “About

what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not.”

Jacob swallowed hard. Alex’s tone was serious as hell, but it was

also turning him on like crazy. He sat up on the edge of the bed and
squinted into the darkness. When he did, he could just barely see
Alex, or more precisely, the outline of Alex’s erect cock jutting
upright from between his legs.

“Yes, sir,” he said, closing his eyes and imagining that cock

between his lips.

A footstep sounded in the space between them. “If you want a safe

word, you can have one,” came Alex’s voice, “but I’d prefer that if
you got uncomfortable, you just told me no.”

He took another two steps toward Jacob, and they echoed through

the silence. He was close. “Yes, sir,” he breathed again.

“If there’s anything you want me to avoid, any squicks or triggers

that might upset you, I want you to tell me now.”

Jacob remained silent, and a last single step closed the space

between them. His eyes were still closed, but he could feel his knees
pressed apart as Alex knelt between them. A hand stroked his face.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

165

“Well, angel?” A hand grazed the inside of Jacob’s thigh, and it was
grasping God knows what inside it. “Anything I should know?”

“Yes,” Jacob moaned. “If you don’t touch me soon, I’m going to

be very, very uncomfortable.”

Alex leaned in so close to Jacob that his smile grazed the side of

Jacob’s cheek, but his voice remained low and steady. “Hands and
knees, angel,” he said. “That’s five.”

That single command seemed to set fire to Jacob’s entire body,

and he bolted off the bed, presenting Alex his ass, but he was
surprised when a firm hand snaked around his hips and held his cock.
Immediately, his mouth flew open to inquire about the apparent
change in plans, but remembering his role, he closed it again,
listening for his lover’s words to guide him.

A thick, stiff strap wrapped around his balls, belting the base of

them like the leather band of a watch around a wrist. “This is a cock
ring,” Alex explained. “It’s going to make you harder and you’re
going to last longer with it on.”

Jacob doubted that he could get much harder than he already was,

but he imagined a little help staving off his orgasm was well-advised
if Alex was going to start reddening his ass any minute.

“Okay.”
“Okay?”
There was a note of amusement in Alex’s voice as his hands

hovered around Jacob’s dick, the leather strap of the ring not quite
clasped around his cock yet.

“Okay, sir,” Jacob corrected himself, practically panting the

words. It wasn’t that he didn’t get off on addressing his lover like a
Dom. It was just that it was hard to remember all the rules with his ass
in the air and a sex toy slowly closing in around his cock. “I want it. I
mean, I want it, sir. I mean, please sir, can I have it?”

He felt the pressure tighten around his balls and heard a snap echo

through the room. If his dick had ever been this rock hard in his entire
life, Jacob was hard-pressed to remember when. “Oh, shit.”

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Alex’s low, sexy laugh sounded behind Jacob as his knees were

pushed apart. “That one, angel,” he said, “I’ll let you have for free.”

Jacob didn’t know whether to be grateful for or disappointed in

Alex’s generosity, and he didn’t have time to figure it out either.

Smack!
Jacob whimpered as the first stinging blow landed. It was only

one smack, but he could swear the heat from it reached the tips of his
fingers and his toenails.

“Count, angel,” Alex commanded, and Jacob nodded, thrilling at

the words.

“One,” he said, loud as he could, but his voice was trembling.
Smack!
“Two.” The second blow landed, lighting his whole body on fire

with desire. Before he had time to recover, Alex’s palm cracked down
on his ass again. “Three!” And another. “Oh, God, four!”

Just one tender touch, one caress of his cock, fuck, even a strong,

cool breeze could probably make him come right now if he let it, but
that was only what he wanted. Alex knew what he needed. Jacob
ground his teeth and bit his tongue and waited for the last delicious
bite of pain.

Smack!
“Five!” he shouted, reveling in the painful sensation blossoming

across his backside. That welcome jolt of pain dissolved into pleasure
as Alex’s punishing palm lay flat across those sore, swollen cheeks,
smoothing across them and making Jacob shudder with the cavalcade
of erotic sensations the motion ignited.

The heat of his mate’s body hovered close as he leaned over

Jacob’s ear, pushing his hair back to whisper inside it. “You’re doing
so good, angel.”

Jacob couldn’t help but grin at the endearment, even as it made

some of the ungodly heat in his groin flush across his face. “Yes, sir,”
he said, closing his eyes.

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167

Two big arms encircled his waist and lifted him onto the bed.

“Alex!” he yelped a second before he was dropped back down onto
the bed on his back.

Alex didn’t say word one about the slip, and this time, Jacob was

definitely grateful he didn’t. The spanking had been erotic as hell, but
he honestly didn’t think he could take another second of that sweet
torture without reliving some pressure from his now superhumanly
hard cock.

He lay back on the bed, and Alex climbed over him. For the first

time since they’d started their play, he was close enough for Jacob to
see his eyes in the darkness. They were caring and playful and shining
with lust. “Think you can take a little more?” he asked, running a
thumb over Jacob’s nipple. Jacob could see, too, what he held in his
other hand. It was a clothespin.

“Um,” was the best Jacob could manage. It wasn’t that he didn’t

want to. It was just that he was starting to feel a little dizzy. He
glanced down at his cock, and his eyes widened. It was bright red and
hard as a rock, but what surprised him was how huge it looked with
the ring around it.

Alex’s hand wandered down from his nipple, sliding lower to that

area of his body that had been so badly overwhelmed with desire for
what had probably only been minutes but already seemed like hours.
Alex caressed the inside of his thighs and Jacob brought his knees up,
eager for the gentle pressure Alex placed on his dick. His mate didn’t
cup his cock or stroke it, only laid the tips of his fingers across
Jacob’s throbbing member, unmoving.

Jacob whimpered at the touch, unable to keep the noise from

escaping his throat. “Oh, please, Alex,” he begged and worried his lip
at the disobedience.

Alex didn’t seem to notice the slip, however, as he ran his hand

across Jacob’s cock, not quite stroking it, not quite cupping it. It was
almost like Alex was petting him. “God, angel. You have any idea
how sexy you look like this?” he whispered. “All trussed up and laid

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out waiting for me? I can feel how much you need me. And I am so
fucking hard for you.”

Jacob choked down the dryness in his throat, licking his lips as he

glanced down at his now much larger cock. The hardness of it was
driving him crazy, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t exactly enjoying it.
Nor could he say he wasn’t curious about the whole more intense
orgasm thing. “Put the clothespin on,” he said.

Alex’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Jacob nodded, fisting the sheets under him. “Really,” he said with

a gulp. “But from here on out? I can’t be held accountable for
anything that comes out of my mouth.”

Alex looked up at him, and he smiled winsomely. “Yes, sir,” he

joked as he crawled up the bed. He reached over onto the nightstand
and plucked a wooden clothespin from off of it. When it closed
around Jacob’s nipple, he shouted, bucking his hips into the air. “Oh,
God, son of a mother…fuck! Fuck!” Alex cocked an eyebrow at him.
Jacob panted. “What?”

“That is the most creative swearing I have ever heard.”
Jacob didn’t have the energy to be embarrassed by it. His entire

face and body were already on fire. “Will you please just lick my
nipple?”

Alex did, in long, lazy laps, and the contrast between those

languid licks on one hardened bud and the sweet, stinging pain on the
other had Jacob grasping for his mate’s other hand, ready to affix the
other clothespin, ready to do whatever the fuck was needed to bring
his long-awaited orgasm closer.

Finally, a blinding hot pressure surrounded his other nipple.

Tingles rippled down his body, radiating out from his chest, his cock,
his balls. Those tiny electric sparks seemed to combust as Alex
swirled those clothespins around in small, careful circles, making
Jacob writhe and moan and swear like a sailor before Alex finally
abandoned his nipples for what lay throbbing and needy between
Jacob’s spread thighs.

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169

In some far-off, distant place, he heard the snick of a bottle cap

opening and soon after felt the first cool then hot fingers pushing into
his entrance. There was a pressure and a burning he was used to when
those fingers pushed past the ring of muscle, but this time he hardly
noticed. It was merely one more sensation this time, one more brush
of pain and pleasure melting into the overwhelming wave of ecstasy.

Two, three fingers slid in and out of him, and he moved with

them, urging them in and out. Somewhere he was aware of Alex
stroking himself. Somewhere he could hear his mate calling his name
and swearing over his body’s display. Somewhere he was keenly
aware of just how precious his mate made him feel, of just how lost
he’d be without him, of just how much he loved the man.

But mostly, there was just this raw, pulsing need.
Alex held his legs wide apart and high over his head when he

finally fucked into him. His thrusts were long, and frenzied, and hard
as they hit his prostate. As soon as he’d started, Alex was already
shaking.

Jacob curled his toes and kicked his legs and let his body writhe

beneath his lover’s. He couldn’t wait another single second. “Please,”
he begged. “Please, please, please touch me.”

Alex dropped a hand between them, almost fumbling for Jacob’s

needy, wanting cock.

He made it two fast pumps before Jacob screamed and shot out his

release between them. He was still coming when Alex jerked and spilt
inside him, squeezing and licking and biting the meat of his calf as he
held it above him.

As the wave of pleasure crested and finally began to fall, Alex

tugged at the place below his balls where the cock ring was snapped,
and it fell open and he pulled it away. Jacob sighed loudly as the
pressure abated and relief washed over him. His aching nipples, too,
felt sweet release as Alex plucked the clothespins from him. With
nothing between them now but their skin, Alex gathered him up into
his arms. Jacob wrapped his arms around his mate’s neck, but his

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body went limp in his lover’s touch, falling against his chest, sucking
in breaths in big, heaving gasps.

“So good,” Alex said against his skin between the kisses he

pressed against his face and cheeks and ears. “You were so perfect,
angel. I love you so much.”

“You love me?” Jacob asked. He was so damn dizzy, he honestly

didn’t know if he’d heard right.

“I love you, angel,” came the voice again inside his ear.
Jacob didn’t ask again. With every ounce of strength left in his

body, he kissed the man he loved. Alex’s hands stroked softly through
his hair, and Jacob held that kiss as long as humanly possible. When
he finally came up for air, his head fell into the crook of Alex’s neck
and his body slumped against his lover’s. He was sore and exhausted
and as happy as he’d ever been in his life. He didn’t think he could
hold himself upright, but he didn’t need to. Those strong arms held
him up against his lover’s body, acting as his strength. They belonged
to him now. His arms, his strength, his mate.

Forever.

* * * *

“Are you ready for this?” Jacob asked. He squeezed Alex’s hand

as he stood only a few paces from the edge of the cliff. Alex gazed off
the drop-off to Ecstasy Rock to the whitewater waves crashing below.
It had been over a month since he and Jacob had dreamed of
Murdock, and he and his family had been preparing for this moment
ever since then, waiting for the time when fate would call them back
to the cliff. Jacob had woken up in the middle of the night last night,
swearing to Alex that today was the day, and he had trusted his mate’s
judgment. Even Alex had felt something deep and powerful drawing
him to the planesgate. He just didn’t know if he was ready to cross it.

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171

“I—” he began, but Jacob sighed before he could even say it. He

cocked an eyebrow at his mate. “How do you know what I was going
to say?”

“I can feel you worrying away in there,” Jacob said, standing on

tiptoes to press a kiss to Alex’s temple. He lingered there, letting his
mouth fall just to the shell of his ear. “And for the record? It’s
exceedingly unnecessary. I have six werewolves looking out for me,
remember?”

Alex nodded, but that wasn’t what he was worried about. Even if

his mate was Murdock’s son, he doubted anyone was going to fuck
with Jacob. Anyone who did was getting flattened like a pancake.
Plus, the wolves had already discussed a plan of action for keeping
Jacob and Adrianna safe in Morgana.

He was more worried about the last time—or times, if he counted

the dream he and Jacob had—he’d failed to make it through the
planesgate.

“Jacob’s not the only one worried.” Alex turned to Ben and raised

a curious eyebrow. Ben sighed, his brow creased with worry. “Look,
I’m all for helping out Morgana and everything, but this king thing?”
He shook his head. “I can’t stop worrying about it. Jasper doesn’t
even listen to me half the time. How am I supposed to keep an entire
planeful of pissed-off, bloodthirsty werewolves from picking fights
with vampires?”

“You’ll be fine,” Jacob said. He smiled at Alex. “I have a feeling

things will have calmed down over there a little.”

Ben sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, but it’s not just that.

Danny told me what they used to do for kings back in old-school
Europe. You know Louis XIV’s servants used to wait in his bedroom
so they could clap for him when he woke up? I don’t want anyone
standing around my bed in the morning. I always wake up with a
hard-on.”

“No one is going to be staring at your morning wood except me,”

Jasper said. “Not that it isn’t worth clapping for.”

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“Is anyone else afraid of heights?” Danny asked, backing away

from the edge of the cliff and leaning against a tree.

Lars took both of his hands in his and eyed him. “You didn’t tell

me you were afraid of heights the last time we were up here.”

“Um, the last time we were up here, I probably didn’t notice

because I was too busy getting ready to—” Lars cleared his throat,
and Alex couldn’t help but wonder why he’d suddenly gone bright
red. Danny smirked, watching his mate carefully, and continued. “The
last time we were up here, I was a little distracted.”

“I bet,” Lars quipped.
Danny leaned his head against his mate’s shoulder and smiled.

“You don’t think you could maybe take your clothes off before we
jump, could you? ’Cause I could definitely use a distraction before we
throw ourselves off that cliff.”

“Yeah, I’m not getting naked in front of my parents.”
“Where are our parents?” Jasper asked.
“Right here,” Adrianna said breathlessly as she made her way up

the path, hand in hand with Mitchell. “You know, you guys could
have taken a little more time getting up here. Not all of us are kids
anymore. And it was kind of a hectic morning.”

Alex smiled at this, shooting a look to Jasper. Between the two of

them, they’d managed to sweet-talk a number of the overnight nurses
who were smitten with the Craven brothers to aid with springing their
parents from the hospital early this morning. It hadn’t been too
difficult a feat, really. All they’d had to do was imply that they merely
wanted to take their parents across the street for an early breakfast on
their anniversary before getting them back to Borderland Osteopathic
for another endless round of tests.

Then Jasper had driven like a bat out of hell out of the parking lot

so they could all sneak into the Borderland State Park before the
morning hikers and forest rangers made their way up to Ecstasy Rock
and recognized their now semi-famous parents.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

173

Remembering they were under a bit of a schedule, Alex took

Jacob’s arm, feeling his nerves jangle as he eyed his mate. “So, are
we ready to get this show on the road?” he asked.

“You’re going to be fine,” Adrianna said, eyeing Alex. She turned

around to look at each of her sons and their mates. “That goes for all
of you.”

“Yeah, but how do you know?” Alex asked. “I mean, I know

you’ve done this before with other non-planeswalkers, but…”

“For one thing, you’re not exactly non-planeswalkers. You boys

are just as much mine as your father’s. Remember that,” Adrianna
said, giving them all a stern look before it dissolved into a smile.
“And for another thing, you’re in love. If you can take someone into
your soul, surrender yourself to another person the way I know you
boys have for your mates, then you have what it takes to cross a
planesgate. It’s an act of faith, pure and simple, in what fate has
planned for you. Which I assume you boys have now.” She clasped
Alex’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Am I right?”

Alex nodded. “I think so.” He glanced at his brothers. For a long

time, his younger brothers had struggled with that faith, but now,
standing alongside their mates, nodding their heads as confidently as
he had, he could tell they were going to be okay.

Jasper smiled, breathing out a shaky breath. “Okay. Last one off

the tall, scary cliff’s a rotten egg.”

“Hold on a sec,” Alex said. He turned to Jacob, pulling him into

his arms. “Come here.”

Taking his mate’s face in his hands, he kissed him, locking their

lips in a long, slow kiss and lapping at his tongue until he heard
Jacob’s inward sigh and his mate practically collapsed against his
chest. As he did, all his love and his mate’s seemed to swirl between
them, swelling until it seemed so infinite it might even fill the vast
and terrifying chasm below the cliff. When Alex pulled away, his
mate was smiling dreamily and his brothers were trying to find a spot
in the distance to nonchalantly stare at.

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“Wow,” Jacob breathed, practically panting against him. “You

know, just because we’re about to jump into the abyss together
doesn’t mean you’re never going to get the chance to kiss me again.”

“I know. That was just because I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Jacob said, smiling wider. Alex wouldn’t have

thought it was possible, but there it was. “Now are you ready for
this?”

“Yeah,” Alex said. He could sense something, strong and deep

and comforting, urging him toward the planesgate, and he trusted it as
much as he trusted Jacob. If he had to, he’d give his life to that all-
encompassing pull. “I am.”

He glanced around him to the family he loved so much, took his

mate’s hand and a deep breath, and jumped into the vast spaces
below.

And fate, as always, took care of the rest.

Jacob at the Break of Dawn

175

Epilogue

“Is it still Saturday?” Danny asked, glancing up at the sun that had

finally begun to set in the sky.

Mitchell smiled at his youngest son’s mate. Even though it had

happened decades ago, he could still remember the first day he and
Adrianna had spent on Earth after being in the supernatural realm for
so long. The day had passed so damn quickly that he’d thought he
was hallucinating when the sky darkened and he could see the moon
shining above him. “Get used to it, kiddo,” he said, grinning at
Danny. “You’re going to be eighteen for a very long time.”

“Lucky bastard,” Jasper quipped, drawing a warning glare from

Ben and an eye roll from Danny.

“Easy for you to say,” Danny muttered, glancing at Lars. “I’m

never going to get that beer, am I?”

Jacob looked up at Danny with amusement. “You do know the

drinking age on Morgana is like sixteen, right?”

“Awesome,” Danny breathed. “I think I like it here already.”
“Well, that’s good,” Alex cut in, “because I don’t think I could

handle making that trip across the planesgate again.”

A chorus of nods and sympathetic moans met Alex’s statement,

and Mitchell exchanged a knowing smile with Adrianna. Their sons
and their mates weren’t as used to planeswalking as they were.
Consequently, the journey back to Morgana, which had dropped them
all onto the hard ground with a chorus of thuds and less-than-graceful
face-plants, had been a little hard on their novice bodies.

Adrianna glanced back up at the setting sun. “It is getting late,

though,” she said. “We should probably get out of vampire territory.”

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Alex nodded solemnly. “I’ll keep a lookout here. You guys go

ahead.” He bent to kiss Jacob on the head before he ushered him
toward Danny and Ben. “Go catch up with your friends,” he said. “I’ll
come find you.”

Jacob nodded and caught up to the group, gesturing to a nearby

alleyway. “We can cut through here,” he said. “I know a shortcut.”

Mitchell took Adrianna’s hand as they followed Jacob and the

others. He couldn’t help but catch Adrianna’s eyes wandering over
the landscape from time to time as if to gauge the myriad ways in
which the war had changed things.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered, and she nodded, a small surge of

relief flowing off of her at his words.

Mitchell smiled at the feeling. It was one they hadn’t shared for a

long time. Truthfully, he had no reason to believe what he’d said. In
fact, if Jacob’s description of the Morgana he left only a few weeks
ago was to be believed, things might still be fairly chaotic here. Those
few weeks might not have amounted to even a full day in Morgana.
And yet, upon arriving, Mitchell couldn’t help but feel a strange surge
of hope radiating off of the landscape. Things had changed in
Morgana since Mitchell had seen it last, and the war had caused a
great deal of destruction. But they could rebuild. They could make the
plane great again. Better, even, than it had been before.

“Mitchell!” The voice pulled Mitchell from his thoughts. “Holy

crap, Mitchell Craven, is that you?”

Mitchell looked up to see a familiar figure heading toward him

through the alleyway. He squinted toward him. “Tobey?”

He walked forward to greet his old friend with a hug. Tobey

pulled away from it reluctantly. “God, it’s great to see you,” he said,
his hand still lingering on Mitchell’s arm. Adrianna gave Mitchell a
knowing smile, and he sighed. Tobey was about the most loyal friend
a guy could hope for, but he had also been half in love with Mitchell
since they were puppies. Apparently, some things never changed.
“Wow. It’s been like…months, right?”

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177

Mitchell snorted. “Try thirty-one years,” he said, gesturing to the

streaks of white that now peppered his blond hair. “We were on the
Earth plane.”

Tobey let out a low whistle, looking over Mitchell again. Mitchell

looked at his friend, too. He looked exactly as he had when they were
twenty-five, which, Mitchell supposed, Tobey technically still was.
“Geez, you’re like a dad now. I mean, a hot dad, but—”

Adrianna cleared her throat, and Tobey’s eyes shot over to her.

Mitchell gave his friend a meaningful look. “You remember my mate,
Adrianna. Right, Tobey?”

Adrianna smiled and held out her hand to Tobey. “Hi, Tobey. It’s

good to see you.”

“Good to see you,” he said sheepishly, his cheeks reddening as he

shook her hand.

“Is Dad bi?” Jasper whispered, leaning into Lars. He was

rewarded with an elbow to the stomach. “Ow! What the hell was that
for?”

“He’s not,” Tobey quipped. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
Jasper raised an eyebrow at Mitchell, and he cleared his throat,

turning his attentions back to Tobey. “Tobey, these are my sons,
Jasper and Lars. Guys, this is my best friend, Tobey Lennox. We
go…way back.”

“Apparently,” Jasper said under his breath. This time Adrianna

was the one to elbow him. “Ow, Mom!”

Tobey shook hands with Jasper and Lars, but when his eyes

drifted to Jacob, he froze. “I know you,” he said. “Don’t I?”

“I don’t think so,” Jacob replied.
Tobey shrugged. “I just had the weirdest feeling of déjà vu.

What’s your name?”

“He’s Jacob Walker,” Ben said. “Alexander’s mate. He’ll be here

in a minute. That’s Danny, Lars’s mate, and I’m Ben.” Jasper nudged
him, and Ben sighed. “Benjamin Morris,” he said reluctantly.

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Tobey’s eyes widened. “The Benjamin Morris? Wow.” He looked

at Ben, sizing him up. “You’re a little young, aren’t you? I mean, no
offense. Your majesty.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “None taken. Trust me.”
“God, this is perfect, though! You can help restore order amongst

the wolves again. Thank God.” Tobey snorted. “Some of the vampires
have this crazy idea in their heads that they’re going to turn this plane
into a democracy.”

Ben raised his eyebrows hopefully. “Really?”
Tobey nodded. “Yeah, and not just for the vampires, either. Look,

things have been really chaotic here lately. There’s this meeting that’s
supposed to take place here in a little while. Everyone’s supposed to
go to it. I guess that because all the old monarchs are dead, they think
we should start some kind of new union, but if you’re here to claim
the crown and restore the monarchy…” His nervous eyes raked over
Ben’s thoughtful expression. “That is what you’re going to do, right?”

“Um…”
“Right?” Tobey asked frantically. “Right?”
“I mean, I’ll definitely give it some thought, but…” Ben tried to

wipe the smile off his face as he looked at Tobey apologetically. “I
mean, if they’re already going to have this meeting, shouldn’t we at
least hear what they have to say?”

Tobey’s eyes darkened, bearing a haunted look Mitchell had never

seen from his friend before, and for the first time, Mitchell had to
wonder what had happened to his friend during the war. He shook his
head in apparent frustration. “Un-fucking-believable…” he groused.

“You don’t like the idea of a democracy?” Mitchell asked.
Tobey snorted. “Not if it means living peaceably with a bunch of

vampires. After what they did to me in the war…” He cleared his
throat. “To us,” he corrected himself. “I really hated them. I wasn’t
even going to go to the meeting, but I had this really weird dream that
sort of changed my mind.”

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179

Jacob looked at him thoughtfully. “Did it involve a really big, buff

werewolf?”

Tobey snorted. “Well. I have a lot of dreams about big, buff

werewolves…”

“Not that kind of dream,” Jacob said. “This werewolf had a fight

with Murdock, and when he won, it was like everyone was free. All
the vamps, and the wolves, and the planeswalkers, and they all got
along. I had the same dream back on the Earth plane, about a month
ago, but for you, on Morgana…”

“It was just last night.” Tobey looked at Jacob as if he’d seen a

ghost. “Who are you, anyway? Do I know you?”

Jacob smiled, fixing his eyes behind Tobey, where Mitchell could

see Alex approaching them. “Turn around,” Jacob said.

Tobey turned, and his eyes widened when he saw Alex. “That’s

him,” he said. “That’s the one from my dream.”

He walked toward Alex, watching him reverently. Alex glanced at

Jacob, and Jacob smiled. “He wants to thank you,” Jacob said, “for
the dream that he had about us.”

Alex looked first at Jacob, then at Tobey. “I don’t know why,”

Tobey said, “but I get the feeling you saved me somehow. Saved
everybody.” He paused, staring at Alex. “Can I shake your hand?”

Alex nodded, taking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said,

“but I didn’t save everybody. We did it together.” He nodded at
Jacob.

Tobey nodded, still looking a little dazed as he let go of Alex’s

hand. He turned back to Mitchell and smiled at him. “So…what do
you say? You want to go to this meeting? See what this whole United
Morgana thing is about?”

Mitchell looked at Adrianna. “Up to you,” he said, closing a hand

over his mate’s waist. He wound his other hand in her long hair. She
was just as beautiful as she’d been three decades ago, when they first
met. It had been a long and difficult journey, but he had the feeling

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Ellen Ginsberg

they had finally come to the end of it. “You think we can work out a
happy ending here?”

“I think so,” Adrianna said. She smiled and quickly kissed his

lips. Mitchell’s hand closed tighter around her waist, and he suddenly
hoped that whatever the meeting was, it would be very, very brief. He
had other plans for his mate today.

Tobey cleared his throat, and Mitchell pulled away, his hands still

wandering over Adrianna’s body. “Well, I don’t know about you
two,” he said, “but I wouldn’t exactly call this an ending. Half the
plane is still torn up from the war, there’s three species here, none of
which get along and a third of which still can’t decide whether or not
they think the rest of us are friends or food. Also, some of us haven’t
found our mates yet.

“As far as I’m concerned,” Tobey continued, “this is just the

beginning.”

Mitchell smiled at Tobey, but he had a feeling his old friend was

referring to another story. As they turned back toward the setting sun
to find out what the next day would bring in Morgana, Mitchell
couldn’t help but glance around at all that his family had already
found. He looked from Adrianna to his sons and their mates and felt
an enormous sense of peace wash over him that they’d all finally
found their way home.

He took his mate by the hand, and together they led their family

off into the sunset.

THE END

HTTP://TWITTER.COM/#!/ELLENLOVESYOU

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ellen Ginsberg is the pseudonym of an Austin-based writer who

has published numerous works of fiction and nonfiction and has had
plays professionally produced in New York, Washington DC,
Chicago, and across the Midwest. She graduated from Truman State
University with her Master’s degree in English in 2010, and moved to
Austin, TX with her husband, who, as a heterosexual male, may
nevertheless be the single most enthusiastic supporter of her recent
endeavors in M/M erotic romance. She loves her readers dearly and
invites them to email her anytime at

ellenginsberg@ymail.com

or find

her at

http://twitter.com/#!/ellenlovesyou

Also by Ellen Ginsberg

Everlasting Classic ManLove: Dreamcatcher 1: Danny in the Dark

Everlasting Classic ManLove: Dreamcatcher 2: Ben in the Shadows

Available at

BOOKSTRAND.COM