Later Than You Think (Think Series Book 2)

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reproduced  in  any  form  or  by  any  electronic  or
mechanical  means,  including  information  storage
and  retrieval  systems,  without  written  permission
from  the  author,  except  for  the  use  of  brief
quotations in a book review.

Cover: The Worst Book Club

Synopsis:

Is it possible for a shattered girl to love a

broken  boy?  Each  of  them  marrying  the  chips  and
holes  in  the  cracks  that  are  barely  holding  them
together.  Drawn  to  each  other  like  two  magnets,
fighting  for  what  they  want.  What  is  meant  to  be.
To be together.

Or are they just two broken people?

Lapping up the love that’s dripped down the side of
a knife, hoping they don’t get cut.

I lived in hell growing up. Trusting a man, I

believed to be a best friend, only to find out he was
the devil disguised as my savior.

I had a dad that cared more about his next

high, than he did his daughter.

I lost a sister, who is the only reason I’m

standing here today.

I love a man, that I won’t let myself have.

Unaware and unassuming, I have danger

staring  me  right  in  the  eyes,  oblivious  to  the
destruction  looming  ahead  of  me.  Timing  my
demise  perfectly,  never  wanting  me  to  have  my

Chapter 36

For you.

The one with scars, whether they are visible, or

not.

When you are not fed love on

a silver spoon
you learn to lick it off
knives.

-Lauren Eden - The Lioness Awakens

Prologue

Present Day

Talia

You’ll lose everything you’ve ever loved.

You think you can live without me,

Sweetheart?

You thought fucking wrong. I will bury you

before I let you live without me.

Grinding teeth. Daisy tattoo. Sick to my

stomach. Blurry vision. Shuttering breath. Alone.

I can’t be here for this. I reach over and

squeeze  Ryland’s  hand  for  a  quick  second  and
leave  the  church.  I  know  he  understands.
Mackenzie was our lifeline. She is the only reason I
was able to pick myself up. She is the only reason I
was  able  to  be  myself  again  after  I  was  buried  so
deep down, I thought I had lost myself forever.

Was. She was the reason.

And now she’s gone. Just like the piece of

my heart I can physically feel missing in my chest.

I try to shuffle my feet as quickly and

quietly as possible out of the church before I
breakdown in front of everyone. I can’t listen to
Ryland stand in front of the church and talk about
how his wife, my best friend, is dead.

I scoff. My best friend is dead. Taking her

last breath clutching my hand in one of hers, and
Ry’s in the other.

I feel the tears fighting to escape.

Not yet.

I get into my black Audi and go to the grave

site  early.  She’s  not  there  yet,  and  it’s  better  this
way. I refuse to see her today. Fuck that. I had seen
Mackenzie die, that was enough. I blast Bury Your
Pain  by  Like  Moths  to  Flames  and  try  to  let  the
music  console  the  deep  ache  that  I  can  feel  in  my
soul.

Fitting.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m sitting in my car,

staring at an empty grave. I feel nothing, and then
everything all at once. A bomb is detonating in my

body and I let out a cry that I’m sure sounds like a
scream. Tears flow down my face as I hit my
steering wheel over and over again, like it can dull
some of the pain that is burning inside of me.

It was never supposed to be her first. My

whole  life  I  thought  it  would  be  me  leaving  her.  I
can’t make it without her. This is wrong, so wrong.
I  grab  my  long  black  hair  and  pull  it  as  hard  as  I
can,  weeping  for  my  best  friend.  Anything  to  try
and dull this horrific feeling.

I grab the daisies in my passenger seat and

get out of the car, making my way to her grave.
Once I get to the empty hole, I toss them in, piece
by piece.

“It wasn’t supposed to be you, Mac.”

Piece by piece.

“I was the one that was going to die, and

you saved me.”

Piece by piece.

“Why couldn’t I save you? Why?” I feel the

ground sway beneath my feet. My hands shaking in
desperation and anger.

Piece by piece.

“What the hell do I do now, Mac? What the

hell do I do?”

Last piece.

And right on time, the skies open up and

even they, cry for her.

I stand there, letting the rain beat down on

me,  hiding  the  tears  that  are  cascading  down  my
face.  I  fall  to  my  knees,  unable  to  hold  back  the
sobs.  I  need  to  pull  myself  together  before
everyone arrives and get the hell out of here.

I try to stand but my legs are failing me. My

arms are failing me. Everything is failing again, and
she isn’t here to help put my broken pieces together
again. I jump and yelp when I feel arms wrap
around me, and a grunt lifts me into his arms.

I don’t have the energy to fight him right

now.

“Hang on to me, Angel.”

I wrap my arms around him and bury my

tear-stained face into his neck. He runs through the
rain to his car. His mint condition, 1970 Black

Chevelle. I don’t even get the goosebumps I
normally do when I think about that car.

“Angel, look at me.” I can’t move. “Talia.”

He grabs my face and my attention.

I stare at his eyes and see my opportunity. I

see it in front of me, like a golden egg on a pedestal
that holds all cures to my diseases. I see an
opportunity to feel anything but the pain I’m
feeling right now, even if it’s just for a short time.

I grab his face and slam my lips to his. He

opens immediately and kisses me back, but then
realizes what is happening and pulls away abruptly.

“No, Angel. Not like this.”

Coward.

“Then get the hell away from me, Preston.”

He’s glaring at me, slowly shaking his head.

I continue, “If you’re not going to give me

what I need, and what I know you want, there is no
reason for you to be here.” It’s a lie. He’s
everything I have ever wanted, but I won’t let
myself have, because of one small problem.

His past, and mine.

“Not happening, Angel.”

“I’m not your Angel.”

He cocks his head at me in warning.

“What the hell do you want, Preston?” I

relent with a sigh.

“Well, we both know the answer to that

one. Let’s not scratch the surface, give it to me
deep.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I’ve never denied that.”

I roll my eyes at him, realizing he gave me a

minute or two of distraction from the pain.

“Let me help, Angel.”

This is all it is. A distraction. I need it more

than anything right now, and he’s offering. I’ve
been dodging this man for three years, and I’m
going to absolutely give in now, because he is going
to distract me from the detrimental loss I feel.

“Take me to Black Lotus.”

He puts on a slight smirk, but right before

that, I caught it. I caught a snippet of the pain I
feel, in his eyes. I know he thought of Mac as a
sister, and he’s missing her too.

“Hell yeah.” The deep timber of his voice

creeps down my spine.

Time for another tattoo. I rub the daisy on

the inside of my arm. I feel myself unraveling at the
corners already. Anything beautiful about me is
becoming tainted by the black that has lived within
me. The black that I’ve fought my entire life. The
black no one fucking understands.

I guess the only way for you to grasp what’s

happening...

Is to start at the beginning.

Chapter 1

Six Years Old

Oh no. Daddy is home early and I didn’t

clean my room in time. I move as fast as I can and
push  things  under  my  bed  and  into  my  closet.  I
shove all of my clothes in my dresser, even if they
were  dirty.  I’ll  sort  them  out  later  after  he  goes  to
sleep.  I  feel  my  heart  racing  and  my  little  fingers
shake. I make sure to grab dolly and her brush and
put her in the closet where she is safe.

I’m trying to make my bed and daddy slams

my door open. I feel my tummy hurt just by looking
at him. He’s still in his uniform, but I can tell by his
eyes he hasn’t taken his white pills he always takes
yet. Daddy is a policeman. But I don’t feel safe
with him at all since mommy died. She died in a car
accident when I was four.

He hasn’t been my daddy since.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His

eyes are really really big. And his eyelids keep

twitching.

“Mak.. Making my bed, sir.”

He glares at me, and I flinch. I immediately

regret my action. Daddy gets mad when I flinch.

“Stop being such a damn baby, Talia. Grow

the hell up.”

“Yes, sir.” I stare at my feet.

Daddy has never hit me. But he isn’t very

nice to me. He yells at me a lot because I keep
messing things up. I accidentally put too much salt
on his food last week, and he screamed at me until I
was crying a lot.

He doesn’t stop until I’m in complete tears.

I miss mommy, and the daddy I used to have when
she was alive.

“Go put on your yellow dress, Talia. Meet

me downstairs when you’re done. And brush your
hair, you look raggedy when it’s messy like that.”
He slams the door and leaves.

I sigh in relief that he left, but he already

hurt my feelings. I look in the mirror in my room
and brush my black hair, so it isn’t so frizzy. I look

at my blue eyes. I have mommy’s bright blue eyes.

Daddy says that’s why he hates looking at

me.

I don’t know why he wants me to wear my

favorite  yellow  dress  on  a  Tuesday  night,  though.
It’s  almost  bedtime.  I  feel  sick  again.  I  think
something  is  wrong,  but  I  need  to  listen  because  I
don’t like getting yelled at.

Once my dress is on and my hair is brushed,

I slowly and quietly open my door, so I don’t upset
daddy  in  case  he  fell  asleep.  I  hear  quiet  talking
downstairs  and  draw  my  eyebrows  together  in
confusion.  Someone  is  here?  No  one  ever  comes
over.

I make my way downstairs and see that

daddy is drinking, but he has a friend over.

“Talia, I want you to meet someone.”

Daddy says as I walk into the room.

I look to the man that has long dark brown

hair to his shoulders and dark brown eyes. He’s
wearing a uniform too. He looks a lot younger than
daddy, though.

“Hi, Sweetheart. My name is Damon.” He

shines  his  straight,  bright  white  teeth  at  me.  My
cheeks  feel  super-hot.  Not  many  people  smile  at
me, even at school. His friendliness warms a piece
in  my  chest  that  hasn’t  been  warm  since  mommy
was here.

“Hi, Mr. Damon.” I put my hand out to

shake his, and he chuckles at me. I kind of feel
embarrassed.

“You can just call me Damon, Sweetheart.”

I shake my head and give him my best

smile. “Okay.”

“Hey, your daddy has a couple of things he

needs to get done and wanted me to take you out
for ice cream. What do ya’ say?”

I want to jump up and down in excitement,

but I don’t know if this is a trick. I look at daddy,
“May I go, sir?” I am only supposed to call him sir.
He gets mad if I say daddy.

“Yes, Talia. And don’t act up, be on your

best behavior for Damon, or there will be
consequences. Do you understand?”

My eyes grow big in fear and I nod quickly.

“Of course. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Mr. Damon looks at daddy, “Jesus, Sawyer.

Take it easy on her.”

“Don’t tell me how to raise my daughter,

Damon. Do we have a deal or not?”

Mr. Damon looks at me again, and he keeps

his eyes on me when he says, “Yeah. Yeah we have
a deal.”

◆◆◆

I grab my booster seat and set it in Mr.

Damon’s back seat. He insists on helping me buckle
in. Once I’m buckled, he winks at me and I blush
again.

“Alright, Sweetheart. What’s your favorite

kind of ice cream?”

“Vanilla!” I yell excitedly from the back as

he is driving down our road.

“What? Just vanilla? Come on, you have to

like something other than vanilla, too!”

I pull my lips to the side and look down,

“I’ve never had a different flavor.”

He stares at me from the mirror up front,

“Well, how about this. You can try any flavor you
want tonight. Sound like a plan?”

I shriek in excitement and clap my hands

together. “Really?! You mean it?”

“I sure do, Sweetheart.”

“Wow! Thank you, Mr. Damon!”

He chuckles at me again, “Just Damon,

Sweetheart.”

I nod my head and give him my best smile

in  the  mirror.  He  turns  up  the  radio  and  the  fun
music  I  hear  other  kids  at  school  sing,  is  playing.
This is the best night ever. We finally get to the ice
cream  shop;  I  unbuckle,  and  Mr.  Damon  helps  me
out of the car.

“I love your yellow dress. It looks very

pretty on you.”

“Thank you.” I say quietly, unused to

hearing such nice words.

We walk in the front doors and I smell the

sweet sugar, and my mouth waters immediately. I

look at all the choices of ice cream and feel
overwhelmed. I look up to Mr. Damon and he is
looking down at me with a nice smile.

“I don’t know which one to pick.”

“Would you like to try a couple, Sweetie?” I

look at the nice lady working behind the counter
that asked me.

“Yes, please.” She gives me several samples

on a tiny wooden spoon. I like cookie dough the
best.

“May I have cookie dough, please?” I look

to Mr. Damon.

“Sure thing, Sweetheart.” Then he looks at

the nice lady. “Two double scoop cones of cookie
dough, please.”

A few minutes later she hands me my ice

cream cone and we sit down at a table. I can’t get
enough of it and I wanted to try and savor my ice
cream, but I can’t help to eat it as fast as I can. It’s
so yummy.

“How do you like school, Talia?”

“It’s okay.” I shrug my shoulders, still

focused on my ice cream.

“Do you have a lot of friends?”

“Just one. Her name is Mackenzie. I call her

Mac, though. Like a Big Mac.” I giggle.

“That’s funny. Do you get to play together a

lot?”

“Only at school. Daddy says I can’t have

friends over, or go to their house, either.” I frown.

“Has your daddy always been not very nice

to you?”

I shrug my shoulders, feeling a little

nervous. I don’t want to get in trouble if he tells
daddy what I say.

“I won’t tell him anything you tell me,

Sweetheart. You can talk to me about anything.”

“Um, I think he used to be a lot nicer when

mommy was alive. When she died daddy got really
sad. And then mad. He yells a lot.”

Mr. Damon bobs his head up and down. He

asks me about my favorite subject in school, what
games I like to play, my favorite color and more.

Chapter 2

Seventh Birthday

It’s my birthday, but I get out of bed and get

ready for school like a normal day. Daddy won’t
remember, and even if he did, he wouldn’t do
anything about it.

I put on my jeans, favorite purple shirt that

has daisies on it and my shoes. I make sure to have
my homework and quietly step out of my room and
look around, trying not to make any noise. Daddy
was drinking a lot last night and took those pills. If I
wake him, he will be so mad, and I will be dead
meat.

His bedroom door is closed, and it’s

normally open so I think he is in there. I softly
tiptoe my way downstairs and into our dirty
kitchen. I try to clean as much as I can, but daddy
just messes it up and laughs. But if I don’t clean, he
will yell at me again, so I do what I can and try to
not let it frustrate me.

I have an hour before I have to be at school,

so I get out a pan to make some scrambled eggs,
but the front door opens. I already know who it is,
but what is he doing here?

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!” Mr. Damon

whispers. He has a big present in his hands. He is
wearing his police uniform, still.

“Damon! What are you doing here? What is

that?”

“A present, silly.”

“For me?”

“Of course. You didn’t think I would forget

my favorite girl, did you?”

I wasn’t expecting him to get me anything.

Mr. Damon and Mackenzie are the only two people
I love. My only friends. Mackenzie, I play with all
the  time  at  school,  hopefully  someday  I  can  go  to
her  house.  And  Mr.  Damon  comes  over  to  my
house  often  to  meet  with  daddy,  and  then  we  play
games for a bit.

Those are my favorite days.

“Thank you! Can I open it?”

“Yes. But not right now. Want to go get

some breakfast and you can open it there? I will
drop you off at school after.”

“Yes!” I whisper yell. “This is awesome!”

He laughs at my excitement and I grab my

backpack and present and we head out to his car. I
get in the front seat and buckle up, barely
containing my excitement. I don’t remember the
last time I got a birthday present.

We make it barely thirty seconds down the

road. “Okay, can I open my present now?” He
laughs and smiles at me with his pretty teeth, “Fine,
fine. Open it.”

I tear into the paper and open the box. My

favorite yellow dress that I outgrew is in the box,
but now it’s my size.

“Wow! This is great! Thank you so much! I

was so sad when my other dress was too small for
me.” I giggle.

“I know you were. I looked everywhere to

find the dress and get it in a different size.”

“This is awesome. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart.”

This is the best birthday ever. I get yummy

pancakes  and  I  have  a  new  dress.  Thankfully  I
know  Damon,  otherwise  I  wouldn’t  have  any
clothes  that  fit  me,  because  daddy  doesn’t  like
spending more than he has to on me. After we eat a
bunch  of  pancakes  and  bacon,  we  get  back  in  the
car  and  start  to  go  to  school.  He  turns  on  my
favorite music, and I smile, because I actually feel
happy. Something I only feel when I see Damon or
get to play with Mac.

We pull up to the school and he reaches

over and squeezes my hand. “Have a great day,
Sweetheart! Be careful when you walk home,
there’s a lot of bad guys out there.”

I roll my eyes. “I know, I know. Thank you

for my dress and breakfast! Bye!” I say as I shut
the door and run up to school and through the
doors.

I get to class just in time when the bell rings.

“Happy Birthday, Talia! My mom is

bringing your present after school.” Mac giggles
and whispers in my ear.

I give her a big grin. “Really?! This is so

exciting!” I whisper back.

The teacher clears his throat and we both

snap our heads up. But I don’t mind, because this is
the greatest day in all of the greatest days ever. My
teacher even remembered and brought me and the
whole class cupcakes and everyone sang me Happy
Birthday. I don’t know the last time I have ever felt
so special.

Nothing can ruin this day.

◆◆◆

After School, I follow Mac out to her

mom’s car in the parking lot.

“Hi, honey! Happy Birthday!” She gives me

a big smile and hugs me.

“Thank you, Mrs. Carson.”

She reaches in the back seat and gets out a

big box. My eyes open really big because I have
never had such a big present before!

“Is this for me?” I ask shocked.

“Sure is, Tali-babes!” Her mom calls me. I

chuckle at her nickname for me.

“This is nuts! Can I open it?!”

“You better open it! It’s your day, go for it!”

She returns my excitement. It makes me miss my
mommy.

I tear into the present and it’s full of clothes,

a new backpack, shoes, hair accessories, and really
cute jewelry. My eyes start watering because I feel
so much love that I haven’t felt in so long, that it’s
overwhelming.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong? Is it the wrong

size? We can exchange it.” Mrs. Carson looks
worried.

I look up to her, “No, ma’am. I love

everything in this giant box. Thank you so much.
This is the best present ever.” I give her a smile.

She wraps her arms around me in a hug,

“You deserve all of it and more, honey. If you ever
need anything, you just tell Mackenzie or I, okay?”

I nod my head, and then turn and give Mac

a big hug. “Thanks, Big Mac.”

“You’re welcome, dude.”

I pause for a moment, “Um, I have to walk

home, do you think you could bring this back in a
bag tomorrow? My backpack isn’t big enough…”

“Oh, honey. We will give you a ride. That

way you don’t have to worry about it!”

My heart skips a few beats. “Um… I think

it’s better if you bring it tomorrow…”

“Sweetie, it’s not a problem. We can take

you.” She grabs the box and puts it in the car. I look
at Mackenzie and she shrugs and gets in. I look
around and take a deep breath, then get into the
car.

“My house is on River Street. Not too far

up the road.”

“I know right where that’s at. Just tell me to

stop when we get to your house.”

I nod my head to her in the mirror. My

hands are sweaty and shaky. I really hope daddy
isn’t home, I don’t want to get in trouble for having
someone bring me home.

Once I tell Mrs. Carson to stop in front of

my house, she asks if they can help me bring in the
box.

“NO!” She bunches her eyebrows and I

clear my throat, “I mean um, no, thank you. I can
get it. Thank you, so much for the present and the
ride. It means the whole world to me.”

“Of course, Sweetie.”

I don’t see daddy’s car, so I grab my box

and run inside and up to my room. I quickly put
everything away, so daddy doesn’t notice anything,
and then I make sure to get my yellow dress out of
my backpack and put that away too.

I don’t think I’ve missed anything, but I still

feel super nervous and my hands are shaking. I
change into PJ’s even though it’s only four pm, I’m
not doing anything else besides making dinner, so I
might as well be comfortable.

I take a deep breath and make my way

downstairs to see what I can try and make. When I
get  down  the  stairs  and  step  to  the  kitchen,  I  see
something out of the corner of my eye. I look to my
right  into  the  living  room,  and  daddy  is  in  the
reclining  chair  staring  at  me.  Like  he  was  waiting
for me.

“H.. Hi, sir.”

He just continues his glare at me, and I feel

like I’m going to get sick.

“I’m going to make dinner… want

spaghetti?”

“Who the hell was in my driveway, Talia?”

My eyes get big and I can feel my heart

beat fast in my chest.

“Mackenzie, from school, her mom insisted

on giving me a ride. I tried to say no, but-”

He shoots up out of his chair and starts

walking towards me quickly. His boots beating
heavy on the floorboards. I back up against the cool
fridge.

“What is the rule, little girl?” He growls in

my face.

“N-No one is to come over.” My chin

quivers.

“And what did you do?”

I feel the first set of tears start to stream

down my face. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!”

“Shut up, Talia!” He says as he starts taking

off his belt viciously. I cry louder and harder in
fear. He has never been physical before, just mean.

“Please, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!” I

say putting my hands in front of me, praying and
hoping they can provide some sort of protective
barrier.

“I know it won’t.”

He grabs my wrist as he kneels and yanks

me over his leg. My stomach collides with his knee
so  hard,  I  almost  lose  my  breath.  Then,  all  of  a
sudden,  I  feel  a  burning,  sharp  pain  accompanied
by  a  loud  slap.  I  scream  out  in  pain  as  he  hits  me
over and over again.

“Daddy, no! Please, I’m so… I’m sorry!” I

sob. The pain is unbearable. He’s grunting with
every hit, putting as much power into it as he can. I
scream with every slap, praying for it to stop.

After ten hits, it finally does. “Hopefully,

this will be a lesson you remember, Talia. Get
upstairs and don’t come back down for the rest of
the night.”

I try to run, but my backside feels like it’s

on fire, especially with my pants rubbing against
the welts. Once I make it up to my room, I lock the
door and lay on my bed, face down.

I cry into my pillow, wishing for my mom.

Wishing I had a different dad. Wishing Damon
would have walked in to stop him. I try to be a
good girl the best I can, but it doesn’t matter what I
do, my dad hates me.

Why does my dad hate me? I cry harder,

until I have no tears left. I fall asleep hungry, in
pain, and wondering why I ever thought my
birthday would be a good day.

Chapter 3

Eighth Birthday

Another birthday.

Another day hiding welts and bruises he

likes to inflict on my small, frail, body.

Ever since my seventh birthday, when my

dad decided to punish me with a belt, he has been
progressively more violent. It’s like he woke up a
demon that lived inside of him with every slap of
leather.

I woke up the next morning a changed girl.

Any  sort  of  bubbly  personality  I  had  away  from
home, had vanished. It’s better to not have friends,
to  not  talk,  to  not  smile.  It  makes  it  easier.  People
don’t  ask  me  questions.  People  don’t  talk  to  me.  I
have  less  chance  of  being  punished.  Mackenzie
refuses  to  not  be  my  friend  though.  Honestly?  I
don’t mind it.

Having her sit next to me and talk to me

without expecting an answer is kind of nice. She
knows something happened on my birthday. I
wouldn’t tell her, but she has always told me I can
tell her anything in the whole world. I won’t tell her
this though. I can’t.

Twelve months of physical and mental

abuse. He doesn’t hit me every day. Mostly when
he drinks a lot. Which is the weekends. I try to
barricade my bedroom door so he can’t get in when
he gets home, sometimes it works.

Sometimes it doesn’t.

He is very smart about placement. In the

summer he keeps it mainly to my core. But during
the winter he has a wider canvas, because I can
cover up with long-sleeves and pants.

I hate him.

I hate this life.

Damon knows something is wrong too, but

he is the only person I try to put a smile on for,
because if I don’t and he tells my father… That
means a punishment.

I did tell Mackenzie not to get me anything

for my birthday. I begged her, silently telling her

with my eyes. She finally understood, and once she
did… She wrapped her arms around me gently and
just hugged me.

My best friend in the world just hugged me

and I cried because it was the first time, I felt safe
in a year.

I’m in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal

when the front door opens.

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!”

I give him a small smile, because that’s the

only kind of smile I can do anymore. “Thanks,
Damon. What are you doing here so early?”

“Taking you out for a birthday breakfast,

duh?” He looks at me like I’m crazy.

I look down to my cereal and back up to

him, “Sorry, I wouldn’t have had a bowl if I had
known…”

“Sweetheart, don’t apologize. And no

worries, you can have a double breakfast.” He says
with a wink as he sits down at the table with me.

“You look very pretty today, Talia.”

I slightly blush, “Thanks.” I braided my long

black hair. I’m wearing black jeans and a dark gray
t-shirt with my black converse. Normal me. Except
the braids. The braids are new. I don’t know why I
did them. I had a dream my mom used to braid my
hair, so I did it to try and feel close to her.

I finish my cereal and grab my bag and head

out to Damon’s car to go get breakfast. I don’t tell
him I’m thankful for this since I’m so hungry
because I had to go to bed without dinner again last
night.

We get to the diner and sit down. I order

French Toast, sausage and scrambled eggs with
chocolate milk. My favorite. Damon is smiling at
me while I order, then he places his and looks at me
again.

I squirm under his stare. I don’t like it when

people  try  to  study  me.  I  feel  like  they  can  see
through  my  act  and  will  know  what  is  truly  going
on.  That’s  the  last  thing  I  need.  If  someone
questions my father about me, he will probably end
up beating me until I go into the hospital.

Damon reaches over and grabs my hand

with a worried look on his face.

“Is everything okay, Sweetheart?”

I look away and take my hand back and into

my lap. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“You seem… different. You haven’t been

yourself  in  a  long  time.  You  know  you  can  tell  me
anything,  right?  Anything  at  all.  I’m  here  for  you.
You  can  trust  me  with  everything,  Talia.”  He  tells
me this often, but he’s really emphasizing it today.

I nibble my lip and nod. “Thanks, Damon.”

I add a small smile at the end.

He still looks worried but drops it.

Thankfully.

The day goes on and nothing exciting

happens.  The  teacher  doesn’t  know  it’s  my
birthday,  which  I’m  grateful  for.  Mackenzie  didn’t
get me anything, which I’m also grateful for. And I
walk  home  in  peace.  Alone.  Just  me  and  my
thoughts.

I make it home and walk inside and my dad

is already there in the kitchen. He’s banging around
in there and my heart drops, what is he doing? I
walk in and there is flour, sugar and pans
everywhere. I go to look at my dad and realize it is
not my dad. At all.

“Umm… Can I help you?”

The lady in a short red dress yelps as she

turns around, her hand over her heart.

“Oh honey, you scared the daylights outta

me!” She says with a thick southern accent.

I scratch my head, “Who are you, again?”

“Oh! Silly me!” She dusts off her hands on

a towel, “I’m Lisa-May.” She adds a big beauty-
pageant smile.

I lift my eyebrows, still wondering why this

odd lady is making a mess in my kitchen.

“Your daddy invited me over. He mentioned

it was your birthday, so I wanted to make you a
cake!”

Oh boy.

“Oh, thank you. But you really don’t have

to do that. I’m surprised he remembered anyway.” I
immediately slap my hand over my mouth. I didn’t
mean to say that last part out loud.

She looks taken back, then smiles, “Your

secret is safe with me.” She winks. And I give her a

genuine smile this time, thankful she is keeping that
slip up between the two of us.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

We both turn around to the angry voice

coming from my dad. Not good.

“Sawyer, honey! I just wanted to make a

cake for Talia! For her birthday!” She smiles at him.

He’s keeping his glare at me, “Did you put

her up to this?”

My eyes get big, “No! I don’t even know

her! I just got home!”

“Sawyer, it was my idea!” She looks

confused at why he’s blaming me. He finally turns
his evil gaze to her.

“Get the fuck out, Lisa-May.”

“Excuse me-”

My dad turns and slaps her across the face,

and she lets out a wail. He then grabs her hair so
she’s looking him in the eyes.

“If you ever, talk back or question me

again… I won’t be as forgiving. Understand?”

She’s nodding her head violently, and I’m

shaking, scared about what is in store for me.

“Now get out and don’t call me, I’ll contact

you if I want to see you again.” He then throws her
by the hair towards the living room and she runs
out the door without sparing me a thought.

He turns his gaze to me. I try to shrink

myself as small as I can. Maybe I’ll slip through the
hits.

“You make me so frustrated, Talia. I ask

simple things of you and you are too stupid to
understand any of them!” He starts stepping
towards me, and then grabs the collar of my t-shirt
and yanks me towards him.

“Clean this shit up.” Then he throws me by

the collar to the hard floor. When I try to catch
myself, I feel intense pain in my forearm and let out
a scream. I know it’s broken without looking. Tears
are streaming down my face as I clutch my arm to
my chest, rocking back and forth on the cold floor.
Wondering why this is my life. I’m eight years old,
and I’m wondering why this is my life.

Our front door flies open, and Damon

comes barreling through.

“What the hell is going on in here?” He’s

yelling as he comes into the kitchen. His eyes grow
big when he sees me on the floor and my father
above me. I look to my father’s eyes and I can’t tell
if he is sad that he hurt me or that someone might
have caught him hurting me.

“Sawyer, what the fuck is going on?!” He

grabs my dad by the collar and slams him against
the fridge.

“Damon, get your damn hands off of me

before you regret it.”

“We had a deal.” He snarls in my dad’s

face.

“Still do. But that’s my daughter and I will

raise and discipline her as I please.”

They stare each other down for what feels

like a really long time, then Damon lets go. He
walks over to me and bends over to scoop me up.

“Come on, Sweetheart.” My arm gets

bumped around when he picks me up and I cry out
in pain. “I’m so sorry, I’m gonna take you to get it
fixed, okay?” I nod my head and bury my face into
his neck. The only safe place I’ve felt in years.

As we are walking out the door, my dad

speaks up, “Damon, if you ever try to interfere in
how I raise my daughter again, deal is off. I’ll find
my shit elsewhere.”

Damon freezes, and holds his breath, then

lets it out very slowly. I feel his chin moving, like
he’s grinding his teeth. After a few seconds, he
continues out the door into the car to take me to the
hospital.

Maybe now that Damon knows, things will

get better.

Chapter 4

Nine Years Old

“No! Please! I’m sorry!” I sob, tears rolling

down my face. My hands blistering over from the
burns he’s foolishly put there.

“No! No, no, no! Not again, it hurts too

much, please!”

He finally drops the scolding hot frying pan.

I accidentally burnt dinner, so he held my hand
down on the bottom of it to teach me a lesson.

“Burn cream is in the bathroom cabinet. Go

wrap it and stay in your room the rest of the night. I
now have to go buy food since you’re incapable of
making it.”

My hands are shaking uncontrollably. I

can’t see out of my eyes because of the tears, and
the pain is blinding me. I can handle the hits.

I cannot handle this.

I take an ice pack out of the freezer and

make  my  way  to  the  bathroom  and  take  some
Tylenol.  I’ve  had  to  take  so  much  in  my  life,  I
already  know  the  proper  dosage.  I  grab  the  burn
cream,  gauze  and  a  wrap.  I’m  going  to  try  and
bandage myself up, but even a feather of a touch to
the blister on my palm causes more and more pain.
I don’t even know how to do this properly.

“Ow, ahhhhh!” I let out a silent scream. I

put a rag in my mouth to bite down on as I’m trying
to  clean  debris  from  the  pan  out  of  my  blisters.  I
feel  my  heart  beating  in  my  throat,  and  my  limbs
feel  weak.  The  pain  is  excruciating.  I  lightly  apply
the  burn  cream,  which  is  slightly  soothing,  but  it’s
not  helping  the  pain  I  feel  all  over  my  body.  My
heart. The pain I constantly feel.

I take a minute to lightly blow over the

burn, before I wrap it. I take a deep breath and put
the gauze over the burn and start to wrap, but the
heat is trapped inside the bandage and it’s too much
right now. I decide to let it air out for a little while
and try to put the bandage on later.

I hobble to my room, lightly shut and lock

the  door  and  slide  down  it  to  sit  on  my  floor.
Turning  on  the  fan  in  my  room  and  holding  my
hand  by  it.  Sobs  shake  through  my  whole  body;

I’ve never been in so much pain in my life.

Damon hasn’t come around as much this

last year. He still sees me, just not as often.

I’ve never felt so lonely in my whole life.

My birthday is in one month. Right after the

start of school. Sawyer gets more violent in the
summer when he doesn’t have to worry about
teachers or other kids questioning injuries.

When he whipped me with the belt, it woke

up a monster inside of him. When he broke my
arm, it woke up a demon inside of him.

I can only hope this one doesn’t make

things even worse. I don’t dare try to run away, too
afraid of the consequences. I have no money or
food to make it very far, anyways. I get up and go
lay on my bed, bringing the fan with me.

I look at my ceiling, take a deep breath, and

just let myself cry.

I wish I was where my mom is at.

Chapter 5

Eleven Years Old

“BIG MAC!” I yell down the school hall

from her. She turns around eyes wide, taken back
by my excitement. Probably because this is the first
time I’ve been excited since I was six years old.

“Okay, you’re scaring me.”

I laugh, “You are NEVER going to believe

this.”

“What…” She’s so shocked right now, it’s

so amusing.

“Sawyer said I can come to your house for

the weekend…”

“WHAT?!”

“I KNOW.” Mac starts jumping up and

down screaming in excitement. There she is.

Sawyer has never once in my life let me go

to a friend’s house. I don’t care that this is
suspicious as hell, I can get out of that hell hole for
a few days. I will sleep at a park if I have to, but I
am NOT going home.

“I already have a bag packed. I know your

parents might say no. But I am not going back to
that house until Monday.”

“My parents will definitely not say no! Oh

my gosh, this is going to be the most epic weekend
EVER.”

The last year has been… weird. The frying

pan burn is still at the top of the ‘worst of the abuse
list’,  but  it  hasn’t  stopped  completely.  Now  that
I’ve  grown  a  bit,  he’s  dialed  it  back  a  little.  I  only
worry  about  it  getting  physical  when  he’s  really
drunk  or  high.  I  don’t  know  how  he’s  maintained
his  job  as  a  cop.  But  Sawyer  has  decided  to  stick
with the mental abuse route, for the most part, as of
late.

This morning is the most I’ve talked in one

conversation  to  Mac,  in  years.  She  is  the  main
conversation  holder  in  this  relationship.  I’ve  never
been  more  thankful  for  a  human,  than  I  am  Mac.
Damon  too,  but  that’s  different.  He’s  stopped  by
once  or  twice  a  week  consistently.  He’s  quieter

lately though. But I’m quiet too, so I don’t judge
him.

After the last bell rings, Mac and I find each

other, and we run out to her mom’s car.

“Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom!!!”

“Mac, breathe.” She laughs at her daughter,

used to this level of peppy from her daughter. “Hi,
Tali-babes!” She turns her eyes to me.

I give her mom a small smile, “Hi, Mrs.

Carson.” I feel really nervous she is going to tell me
no, that I can’t come over. I would give anything to
sleep in a comfortable bed and eat a dinner that I
didn’t have to make.

“Mom! Sawyer said that Talia can come

over for the ENTIRE. WEEKEND. Please, please,
please, pleeeeease say yes!

She looks to me with wide eyes, also clearly

shocked. “He did, Sweetie?”

I nod my head quickly.

“Do you have clothes?”

I nod my head quickly again.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get in! We

have a fun girl’s weekend ahead of us!”

I could almost cry once she said that

sentence. My anxiety and stress deflate from my
chest and I hop in the car next to Mac. The next
two days, I will be able to breathe without the fear
of being berated or beaten.

This is the best gift I’ve ever been given.

And it’s not even my birthday.

◆◆◆

We get to Mac’s house, and it is so homey,

cozy and inviting. I take a deep breath, inhaling the
warm  apple-cinnamon  scent  of  their  home.  When
Mac brings me to her room, my jaw drops open. It
is  awesome.  She  has  dark  gray  walls,  a  massive
white  fluffy  bed,  cool  lights  hanging  across  her
room,  and  posters  of  our  favorite  bands  on  the
walls.  She  even  has  her  own  bathroom!  This  is
madness.

I set my bag down. “Dude, your room is

awesome.”

She just smiles at me. “Maybe I can come

to your house one of these days, now?”

“No!” I clear my throat. “I mean, no, it’s

better if you don’t.” I lift one side of my mouth.

“I won’t mention it the rest of the weekend,

but like I always say, you can tell me, or my mom,
anything. Okay?”

I nod my head at her and her mom comes in

the  room.  “Alright,  girls!  Do  we  want  to  go  out  to
eat  tonight  or  tomorrow?”  She  smiles  warmly,
“What  would  you  like  Talia?  I’m  in  the  mood  to
spoil my girls!”

“Could we stay here, and go out

tomorrow?” I ask her. I want to enjoy a normal
night in a normal home.

“Absolutely! How about I make my

homemade chicken fingers?”

Mac looks at me, “Tali-babes, they are

amazing. Like, drool-worthy.”

I giggle, “That sounds awesome. Thank

you.”

Her mom goes down to start dinner and

Mac shows me around their house. It’s not a

mansion,  but  it’s  a  decent  size  home.  We  go  into
her back yard and jump on the trampoline and look
at magazines with cute boys. It’s the first time I’ve
ever felt like a normal girl in my life. I look around
her  back  yard  and  notice  a  garden  of  flowers.  I
walk  over  to  them,  touching  the  petals  gently,
admiring their beauty.

“Those are daisies. My mom is obsessed

with them.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“Girls! Dinner is ready!” We both run

inside, wash up, and sit at the table. Her dad and
little sister, Ashley, are already sitting down.

“Hi, Mr. Carson. Hi, Ashley.” Mac’s little

sister waves at me.

“Hey, Talia. It’s great having you over

here.” He smiles at me. I’m a little weary of him.
The only male I’ve ever been comfortable around is
Damon. I know I have no reason at all to fear him,
but I can’t help it.

We take a seat and her mom loads the table

with chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, corn on the
cob and stuffing. I’ve never seen so much food in
my life.

“Dig in!”

I grab a little bit of each. I’m not used to so

much food, and I don’t want to eat myself sick on
my first free weekend ever. I take a bite of the
chicken fingers and groan.

“Mrsh, Carshn, tshis is rlly good.” I say with

my mouth full. Everyone laughs and then I join
them.

“Thank you, Sweetie. Have as much as you

want. If you get hungry or thirsty at all, just come
down and help yourself to whatever we have.”

“Thank you.” I give them an appreciative

smile for making me feel so welcome.

After dinner, Mac’s dad took us to rent

some movies and get snacks. We stayed up late
eating junk food and talking, before we passed out.
I wake up the next morning well rested. I feel like
I’ve slept on a cloud, it was awesome.

I head to Mac’s bathroom and decide to

take a shower and get around for the day.

Once I’m done, I walk out and Mac is up

now, her mom is in the room and they are

whispering.

“Oh, Hey, Tali-babes.” Mac smiles at me,

and her mom gives me a sad smile. I feel a bit
insecure, then her mom speaks up.

“I was thinking about taking us to get our

nails done and a shopping trip. Dad is going to take
Ashley out today. What do you girls say?”

“I say heck yes!” Mac speaks up.

“Um, I didn’t bring any money…” Now I

feel really stupid.

“Oh, Sweetie. You don’t need any!

Remember I said I was in the mood to spoil my
girls? This is that. My treat.”

“Are you sure?”

“Without a doubt.”

I give her a smile, “Okay. That sounds

awesome. Thank you.”

Mrs. Carson took us to the mall and we

each  got  a  couple  outfits  and  new  shoes.  We  got
our  nails  done  while  we  were  there  and  then
decided  we  needed  to  get  our  hair  washed  and

blown out. She asked if I wanted a trim, and I really
did.  I  don’t  know  the  last  time  I  was  able  to  have
this  done.  By  the  time  we’re  done  I  feel  like  an
entirely  different  girl.  I  feel…  happy.  We  end  up
meeting  Mackenzie’s  dad  and  little  sister  at  a
Mexican  restaurant  for  dinner  and  it  was  so
yummy. We stayed up late again on Saturday night,
watching  more  movies  and  funny  videos.  Sunday,
we  stayed  home  and  hung  out.  We  rode  bikes
around the block and just had… fun.

This is definitely better than any birthday

I’ve ever had.

◆◆◆

We are all out to eat for breakfast this

morning. My last full day here at Mac’s. It feels like
I’ve been on vacation and as I think about returning
home, I feel my anxiety start to kick in. I fear what
Sawyer might have in store for me. But I will worry
about that tomorrow, I want to soak in the rest of
the time I have left, the best I can.

We actually end up at the diner Damon

takes me to for my birthday. I decide on an egg
scramble with toast. As we are all eating and

talking, I see something out of the side of my eye
and look up at the entrance, and there stands
Damon.

He spotted me immediately and he has a

very confused look on his face. He is in his police
uniform and approaches the table.

“Talia, what are you doing here?”

“Hey, Damon. Sawyer let me go to

Mackenzie’s house for the weekend…” I say, also
confused at why he’s being so weird and unfriendly.

“Hi, I’m Mackenzie’s dad, Oliver. This is

my wife, Erica.” They shake hands a greet each
other, then Damon swings his gaze back to me.

“Do you need a ride home?” What an odd

question, I just told him I was with them.

“No, I’ll be back home tomorrow after

school.”

He slowly nods his head and licks his lips.

“Alright, well have a fun rest of your weekend, and
you folks take care.” Then he walks back out the
door. That was so… different, Damon has never
been so weird before.

“How do you know him, Sweetie?”

“I’ve known him since I was six. He works

with Sawyer.” Always Sawyer now, not dad. He
stopped being that years ago.

They accept my answer and continue their

conversation; I look out the window and see
Damon standing next to his squad car staring at me
before he gets in and drives off.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Something is off.

Chapter 6

Twelfth Birthday

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.”

“Holy balls! Damon you scared the crap out

of me!” I put my hand over my heart, “I didn’t
even hear you come in.”

He just gives me a smirk and walks closer to

me, then pulls me into a hug.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“Giving my best girl a birthday hug. That

okay?”

I nod and return the hug, waiting for him to

release me, and when he doesn’t, I start to pull
away and then he lets go.

“Please tell me you’ve learned by now that

I’m taking you to breakfast.”

“Yup!” I give him a grin.

This last year has been very different.

Sawyer is hanging on by a thread. You can see the
effects  of  his  addiction  plain  as  day.  Damon  has
been  a  huge  part  of  my  life  this  past  year.  He  has
been  here  for  me  anytime  I’ve  needed  him,  and
stops by the house three, four, sometimes five times
a  week.  Ever  since  that  morning  in  the  diner,  he’s
been  around  way  more.  He  says  it’s  to  make  sure
I’m safe, but I don’t mind either way. I’m a lot less
lonely when he’s around.

I grab my stuff and make my way out to the

car  and  hop  in  the  front  seat.  He  gets  in  and
automatically  turns  on  one  of  my  favorite  bands,
Modest Mouse. They’re so fun and unique, I can’t
help  but  nod  my  head  along.  Damon  reaches  over
and grabs my hand. At first, I thought he was giving
me something, but then he doesn’t let go.

“I hate to say this again, but what are you

doing?” I give him a weird look, but the butterflies
in  my  stomach  are  going  crazy.  Not  only  has  his
presence  been  growing,  but  apparently  so  has  a
small  crush.  He  may  be  older,  but  he’s  my  best
friend, and I feel like I can’t help it. I don’t want to
say  he’s  like  a  brother,  because  having  a  crush  on
your  brother  would  be  gross.  And  I  tell  this  to  no
one. Not even Mac.

She doesn’t know much about him

anyways. She’s only seen or heard of him from the
diner. That’s it.

I keep my home life private. I don’t need

people  snooping  around  and  getting  me  in  more
trouble.  Just  because  Sawyer  is  less  physically
abusive, doesn’t mean it can’t start again. I still get
the belt if it’s a severe consequence, but it’s back to
him  telling  me  how  ugly  and  useless  I  am,  or  how
much he hates me. The usual.

“We’re best friends, are we not?”

“Yeah…”

“You and Mac hold hands, or link arms

when you walk sometimes.”

“How do you know that?”

“I told you, Sweetheart, I always make sure

you’re safe. So, I check on you if I’m by the school
and I see you outside sometimes.” He shrugs as if
it’s completely normal. And I guess it is, because I
have no semblance of any sort of normal in my life.

I nod my head and try to calm my beating

heart.

Once we get to the diner, he releases my

hand and we head on in to get our breakfast. My
heart is still racing, and I keep looking around like
I’ve done something wrong. Which I haven’t, so
I’m not sure why I feel so… different.

We have breakfast and he tells me about the

crazy arrests and chases he’s been on. I listen
intently, fascinated he is a part of something so big.
After we eat, he pays and then drops me off at
school.

Drops me off as if he hasn’t just completely

changed the course my childhood, with just a few
touches.

◆◆◆

2 Months Later

The bell has rung and it’s officially

Thanksgiving break. I loathe the idea of going
home. Sawyer has been very speedy lately. Frantic
and jittery, I feel like he’s about to break mentally.
Which means he is going to take it out on me. My
stress has been through the roof, tiptoeing around

him. I feel like I’ve opened up a lot this last year. I
talk a bit more. I smile a bit more.

But his behavior is starting to revert any

progress I’ve made. I feel the storm coming, and I
have no shelter. No option but to just wait and
watch the destruction.

I’m grabbing the rest of my books out of my

locker, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn
around and see Lucas. My eyes pop open because
Mac is the only person in the school that talks to
me, the weird quiet girl.

“Um, hi…?” I look at him confused. Then

he smiles and my heart flutters. Oh no. Not good.

“Hi, Talia. You look pretty today.”

“I do?”

He laughs, “For sure.”

“Oh uh, thanks.” I look down and I push my

hair behind my ear.

“Can I walk you out?”

“Yeah, I guess. If you want to…” This has

to be a prank. I look all around, but no one is

looking at us. I look back at Lucas and he’s
grinning. Dang, he’s really cute. He has super light
blonde hair and blue eyes. He still has a slight tan
from the summer, somehow.

We start walking down the stairs, out the

doors, and outside it’s a bit quieter.

“What are you doing for break?”

“Oh, uh. Nothing. Just hanging out at home.

How about you?”

“We’re going to Connecticut. My mom’s

family is from there. Ever been there?”

“No, I haven’t. That sounds fun though.”

“It’ll be alright.” He does this weird thing

that boys do, run their hand through their hair and
flip it back. The sight makes my stomach flip and
roll. Oh man. “It would be better if I could talk to
you while I’m there, though.”

“Me?” I’m in disbelief, is this guy joking?

“TALIA!” I hear my name being yelled, I

look over and see Damon, fuming.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. I hope you have

fun on your trip!”

“Tal-wait!” But I don’t. I turn and start

walking towards Damon, which by the way, what
the heck?

“What do you think you’re doing? Who was

that?” He grabs my arm, and although it looks fine
from the outside, I feel the pressure of his squeeze.
He opens the door and leads me into the car.

“Ow, Damon! What is your problem?” He

slams  my  door  and  walks  around  the  car  to  get  in.
His  nose  is  flared  and  he’s  squeezing  the  wheel.  I
decide  to  stay  quiet.  He  finally  speaks  a  minute
later when he pulls out of the parking lot.

“I will ask again, and you will not lie. Who

is the boy, and why were you talking to him?”

I look at him confused. “He’s just a boy in

my grade. His name is Lucas. I’ve never spoke to
him before today. What is the deal?” I ask with an
attitude.

“You will not speak to him again. Do you

understand?”

“No, I don’t understand. Why can’t I? He

was being nice. Mackenzie is the only person that is

ever nice to me, why can’t he be?”

“Because I said so, Talia. You will not talk

to him again, do you understand?”

I scoff and shake my head. “Why are you

being so weird?”

“Why are you being so weird, Talia?” Am I

acting weird? “Are you hiding something?”

“What?! No!”

His eyebrows go up and I see the anger rise

in his demeanor, he thinks I’m lying. It’s making me
nervous and on edge.

“Have you fucked him, Sweetheart?” He’s

snarling now.

I gasp at his language and the accusation.

My eyes go as big as they possibly can. “Wha-
What? No! I’ve never even kissed a boy. The only
boy I’ve ever held hands with is you!” What kind
of question was that?

He pulls into my driveway and turns to look

at me. “And that is exactly how it is going to stay,
Talia. You do not talk to other boys, you do not
look at other boys, you do not think about other

boys. Sawyer may be your father, but I am the only
other man that will be in your life. Do. You.
Understand?”

My hands are shaking. My lip is quivering.

This is not the Damon I know. I just want out of this
car.

“I-I understand.”

“Good. Now get inside. I have to run back

to the station.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep
breath,  grabbing  my  arm  gently  before  I  get  out.
“I’m  sorry  I  got  so  angry.  I  just  couldn’t  stand
seeing  him  so  close  to  you.”    He  puts  his  hand  on
my cheek, but I flinch first, and his brow furrows.

“Sweetheart, I’m not going to hurt you,

okay? I promise. I just care about you so much.”

I nod my head, but I don’t believe him.

I don’t believe him at all.

Chapter 7

Thirteenth Birthday

I’ve closed up again.

I don’t smile. I don’t talk. It’s easier this

way. I don’t risk anything this way.

Only Mac. Mac is the only one. I know

she’s worries about me. I had a year or so where I
started opening up more, and she was so proud of
me.

Not anymore. Damon closed me right back

up.

He is fiercely protective. So protective that

Mac is the only person I am able to talk to. If I am
seen talking to anyone else, he goes off, yelling
about how stupid I am and how dangerous it is.
And if it’s a boy, he gets outraged.

So, I just stopped all together.

Sawyer just got fired from the station last

week. He’s been so drunk and high; it took a toll on
his work and they fired him after he made a
mistake.

I’m lucky to be able to buy bread most

days. That’s where Damon swoops in and saves the
day, his words not mine.

He used to feel like my best friend,

someone I could count on, now I’m just
uncomfortable. Now I feel sick when he hugs me or
holds my hand. I used to get butterflies, now I get
nauseous.

It’s Friday, and my thirteenth birthday.

Damon  said  he  couldn’t  take  me  to  breakfast,  for
which  I  was  relieved.  Then  he  said  he  was  taking
me  to  dinner,  for  which  I  felt  panicked.  For  being
thirteen  years  old,  I’ve  grown  up  fast.  Faster  than
any kid should have to. I’ve cooked dinner since I
could  remember.  I’ve  basically  been  on  my  own,
and I’ve dealt with shit most adults don’t even have
to deal with.

Death, drugs and alcohol. The things I

loathe most in the world. They’ve taken away my
parents and delivered me a monster in the flesh. A
monster that would repeatedly bend me until I’m
just about to break. Always careful to never shatter

me, but damage me just enough to make sure that
no one will want me.

I get home from school and wait. I’m in a

black, Misfits tee and ripped jeans, which aren’t
ripped on purpose. I’m just lucky that style is in.
And my black chucks, my favorite. My long black
hair is down and straight, and I have black eyeliner
on my top lids with mascara. I’ve worn this makeup
for a couple of months now. Mac bought it for me
as a present and showed me how to put it on in the
girl’s bathroom at school. It’s great to hide behind, I
just wish I had more of it.

I’m sitting on my bed when my door opens,

and I see that it’s Damon. He didn’t even knock.
Blech.

“Hi, Sweetheart. Happy birthday!” He

opens the door to a bouquet of roses and a wrapped
box. I try not to show my distaste. His anger is a
hair trigger ever since he caught me talking to
Lucas.

“Wow. Thanks, Damon.” I give him a tight

smile. “I’ll go put them in something.”

I go to grab them, but he grabs me in a hug

first. I hold my breath and squeeze my eyes shut. I
push myself out of his hold and go to head

downstairs.

“Wait, open this first!” He laughs like I’m

funny. I’m not, I didn’t even make a joke. He takes
the flowers from me and I take the box and rip it
open. Tucked inside, underneath the tissue paper, is
a black dress. It fans out at the bottom and will
probably go to my knees; it has short sleeves.

“Wow, thank you. It’s pretty.” If I wore

dresses.

“I want you to wear it tonight.” I look at

him and he’s wearing a proud smirk.

“I’d prefer to wear this if that’s okay…”

His smile drops. “I’ll say that again. You

will wear that tonight.”

I gulp and nod. He closes the door and

heads  downstairs.  I  change  into  it  and  I  hate  it.  I
hate  it  because  he  got  it  for  me  and  because  it’s
something I would have picked. But the fact that he
bought  it  makes  me  sick.  I  make  my  way
downstairs and he has the flowers in a vase already.

“Ready to go?” I ask. I want to get this over

with and sleep.

“Wow. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I force out the words out of

my mouth. I want to throw up, I feel trapped in a
box with a lock that only he has the key to.

We get to a fancy restaurant and we’re

seated.  It’s  the  most  awkward  dinner  I’ve  ever  sat
through,  and  I’ve  sat  through  some  awkward  ones
with Sawyer. He makes small talk and I respond out
of  defense,  preventing  any  anger.  He  insists  on
ordering  a  dessert  and  orders  a  big  piece  of
chocolate  cake.  I  do  have  to  say  though,  it’s
delicious. I’ve had a fascination with baking for the
longest  time.  I  hate  cooking.  Hate  it.  But  I’m  so
intrigued  by  baking,  because  I  wish  I  could  do  it.
I’ve never told this to anyone because I don’t want
it to be taken away from me. This is my one thing I
can keep in a safe box, all for myself.

“Thanks for dinner. I’ve had quite the day, a

couple of tests, I’m feeling pretty tired.”

“I was just thinking about getting out of

here, too.”

Thank God.

We get into the car and he grabs my hand,

and I cringe on the inside. He pulls out of the drive

and heads in a different direction than the way we
came. I don’t say anything; he’s probably just
taking a different way. After ten minutes, I speak
up.

“Where are we going?”

He looks over and gives me a, what most

girl would think is a handsome, smile. But it makes
me squirm.

“I have a surprise for you.”

My heart stops beating and starts racing all

at once. I feel the hairs on my neck stand up.

“I would really like to go home, Damon.”

“I know, Sweetheart. But this was all a part

of the deal.”

“What deal?”

“Shhh. So curious. Don’t worry.” He says

patting my knee.

He pulls up to a huge brick house. It’s dark

so I can’t tell what it looks like too much, but I
think it’s pretty nice.

“I inherited this house from my parents

when they passed away. I was a teenager, but it’s
mine now.” He gives me a small grin.

I nod my head at him, but I’m way too

anxious to do anything else.

“Come on, I want to give you a tour.”

“Damon, I really want to go home.” I feel

so ill, knowing something is off right now.

He freezes and I see his nostrils flare.

“Talia. You will get out of this car and follow me
into that house. Do you understand?”

I feel tears start to well in my eyes. I know

if I go into that house, I won’t walk out the same, if
I walk out at all. He gets out of the car and comes
to my side and opens the door. He reaches over me
to unbuckle me, and I decide to fight it. I start to hit
him and scream, but he blocks me and puts his
hand over my mouth.

“If you yell one more fucking time, I will

lock you in my basement. I can assure you, you
won’t want that, Sweetheart. Before you think
otherwise, there is no out. I’ve flagged every one of
my phone numbers for dispatchers to ignore. So, if
you think about calling the cops? Sorry, Sweetheart,
you already have one.”

Tears are flowing down my face in fear. I’m

petrified of the man in front of me. I don’t know
who he is. This is not the Damon I know, or ever
knew.

“I will take my hand off of your mouth, and

you will not scream, or there will be consequences.
Understand?”

The word consequences puts me in a trance

from the beatings with Sawyer. I nod my head,
realizing every fucking man in my life has hurt me.
I thought Damon was going to be my savior.

Turns out he will be my demise, the evil that

will destroy me and the demon that will taint me.

Destroying an innocence, not his to destroy.

◆◆◆

Side by side.

Innocent touch of the arm, with vicious

intent.

Lingering glances.

Sipping whiskey.

Shaky fingers.

One-sided lust.

One-sided terror.

I feel like I’m floating outside of my body.

Watching from afar, seeing the scene in front of my
unfold. Watching by force, the night that will
forever change me.

Break me.

Piece by piece.

He lights candles and plays music.

He sits back down on the couch and looks

into my tear-filled eyes. Fear flowing out of them
like a river rushing downstream.

Hand on my cheek.

Unwanted touch of the lips.

Cries of my refusal.

Not enough strength to overpower.

I feel myself about to break.

Piece by piece.

He lays me back as I push and kick.

The sound of the slap to my cheek brings

me back. I’m no longer outside of my body and my
fight instinct kicks in even stronger. I scream at the
top of my lungs.

“No! NO, Damon, no. You don’t get to do

this!” I cry out in desperation, slapping any part of
him my hands will make contact with. I try to press
my thumbs into his eyes. I try to bring my knee up
to his groin.

He grabs my arms and violently brings me

up and slams me back down on the couch.

“Listen here, you ungrateful little brat. You

do not get to change what is happening tonight. You
do not get a decision here. Your father promised me
that you would be mine when you turn thirteen, and
in turn, I would fund his little addiction. He
basically sold you to me, Talia. You don’t have a
choice. So, I suggest you get on board.”

Then he slams his lips to mine again. I don’t

return anything. I try to push his hands away. Push
him away. It’s futile. He overpowers me without
even trying.

“Shhh, it’s going to be okay.”

I sob harder.

I focus on the song. Just focus on the song.

After the Storm by Mumford and Sons.

Focus on the Lyrics.

But there will come a time, you’ll see,

with no more tears
And love will not break your heart,
but dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see what you find there
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

Such a beautiful song, for such a grotesque

moment.

“You were meant for me, Talia.”

I shake my head. Tears flowing down my

cheeks. Begging him to stop what he’s about to do.

Crack.

Piece by piece.

No.

Break.

Piece by piece.

I wasn’t meant for you.

Shatter.

Piece by piece.

And he has just destroyed me.

Piece by piece.

Chapter 8

Fourteenth Birthday

I fucking hate my birthday.

I hate this life.

I hate Sawyer.

I hate him.

If people thought I was a recluse before? I

really  showed  them  after  my  last  birthday.  I  don’t
talk,  not  even  to  Mac.  She  hasn’t  given  up  on  me
though.  Sawyer  was  competent  enough  to  write  a
bullshit letter saying I actually have a medical issue
and  cannot  speak.  The  idiots  at  school  bought  it,
too.  I  silently  beg  and  plead  people  to  see  through
the  act.  Just  look  at  my  eyes.  Look  at  my  fucking
eyes.

No one does.

Because no one cares.

Because no one wants to believe things like

this actually happen to young girls and women.

Hell, boys too.

I don’t dare say a word to anyone about

what’s happened to me.

What’s happening to me.

Why?

Consequences.

They are always worse. And they will

always find a way to make you pay. Damon has
made that very clear. No one from 911 will answer
my calls. He’s made sure of it. He’s a dirty cop. A
disgusting, vile human being. Sawyer won’t do shit,
he’s the one that put me in the place I’m in now. As
long as he gets his pills, he doesn’t care.

Why don’t I tell Mac? Simple. Her safety.

Damon threatened he would hurt her, if I ever told
anyone. Damon has also become my disciplinary. I
never would have thought I would prefer Sawyer’s
beatings, but I do. I would rather my dad physically
beat me than to go through what Damon does to

me.

So, I don’t talk. And this has been the year

from hell. It wasn’t enough for Damon to shatter
me once.

No.

He makes sure he keeps breaking me. Over

and over again.

Piece by piece.

Every weekend, and sometimes during the

week. The worst part is, that sometimes he makes it
feel good. I don’t want it to, but he’s warped me.
He’s fucked up my mind. Ruined me. Painted me
black.

Piece by piece.

It’s Saturday, my fourteenth birthday. This

year  will  be  different.  I  feel  different.  Not  in  the
sense  that  I  was  forced  to  grow  up.  No.  It’s  like  a
new fire. The blackness inside of me has given me a
new door to open. One Damon doesn’t have a key
to. This will be the year I plot. This will be the year
I  decide  to  take  the  demons  he  bore  inside  of  me
and become their master.

I will play along.

I will play my part.

Until I don’t have to anymore.

A shattered girl has nothing to lose.

Chapter 9

Fifteen Years Old

“Happy Birthday, Talia.” I speak to myself

in the mirror. “You are beautiful, and worthy…”
Tears slip down my cheeks. My chin is quivering.
My eyelids flutter around my lifeless blue eyes.

“You are strong. You will rise above.” I

choke  on  a  silent  sob  and  wipe  my  eyes  with  the
back  of  my  hand.  “You  are  not  trash.  Someone,
someday,  will  want  you.  You  do  not…  belong  to
him.”

Tears keep coming no matter how hard I

hold them back.

“You are not ruined.”

Breathe.

“You have so much to offer the world.”

Breathe.

“You will fight.”

I back away from the mirror until my back

hits the bathroom door and slide down to the floor.
I look at my bare legs, filled with bruises and cuts
put there unwillingly.

Not by my choice.

Not by my consent.

Mackenzie gave me a piece of paper that

told me to say those words to the girl inside of me
every morning. She doesn’t understand what’s
going on. She thinks she has an idea.

But she doesn’t have a clue.

She also doesn’t know that doing this has

saved me.

She has saved me.

I just hope I live long enough to tell her.

Damon is more possessive and rougher than

ever, pushing the envelope just a little further each
time. Making sure to leave marks, bruises, cuts.
Something to visually leave on my body that he can
take pride in.

Little does he know, I may be broken, but

the fire inside is still there. The flame may be out,
but the coals are still hot. I just need a little wind.

For the last year, I’ve done pushups, squats,

sit ups, really anything I can do, every single night
in my room. Trying to gain as much strength as my
frail frame can. I’m not naive enough to think I can
overpower a man fifteen years my senior, but it
may help. Tonight, he’s planned something
“special”. But so have I.

I look down at my overnight bag. Packing

everything he instructs me to bring, plus the knives.

I don’t know how I’m going to use them, or

if I’ll be a coward and not be able to.

But I do know that I would rather die, than

continue living like this for much longer.

I change into the black dress he bought me.

Pack  my  bags,  making  sure  to  wrap  the  knives
discreetly.  I  have  one  big  one,  and  the  rest  are
smaller  ones  I  can  conceal  easily.  I  slip  a
pocketknife into my bra under my arm.

Banging on the door makes me jump and

yelp. The reality of what the next twelve hours

could hold amps up my nerves like crazy, but I try
to keep calm and collected.

“Sweetheart, you ready?” I fucking hate

that nickname.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

I grab my bags and make sure no one can

see my hidden knife and open the bathroom door.

“Wow, you look gorgeous. Let me look at

you.” He takes my shoulders and spins me slowly.
“Tonight is going to be so special. I can’t wait to get
you home.”

I do everything in my power to not gag. I’ve

done it once before and he whipped me bare with a
cane ten times. Never again will I make such a
stupid mistake. I keep my composure and he leads
me out of my house with his hand on the small of
my back. All I want to do is squirm my way out of
it, but I have to keep my calm.

We get in the car and he grabs my hand,

pulling up to the restaurant he took me to the night
he stole the most precious thing I owned. What was
mine to give, but he forced from me.

As we get out, the valet is a younger kid.

Maybe a senior in high school or a freshman in
college. His eyes linger on me too long and Damon
comes behind me and squeezes me to his side.

“Get the fuck out of here, kid.”

His eyes go round and he takes the keys and

runs  into  the  car  to  park  it.  Ever  since  I’ve  slowly
developed the last few years, boys have taken more
of  an  interest.  I  make  sure  to  disregard  any
attention  given  to  me  because  Damon  always
knows. And it’s always my fault.

Damon brings me back to the moment by

squeezing my arm tightly, and I have to bite my lip
from yelping. “Do you know him, Sweetheart?”

I look up at him with a glare, “No, Damon.

I’ve never seen him before.”

“He sure looks like he’s seen you before.”

I shake my head. He is so deranged. How

can someone be so normal for so many years, and
then turn possessive and psychotic?

He drops it and leads me into the restaurant.

He orders us the same meal we had two years ago.
Then the same dessert. My stomach turns and I can
barely eat anything.

When we finish the meal, he pays, and we

head  back  out  to  wait  for  the  car.  The  valet  keeps
glancing at me and it’s putting Damon on edge. I’m
trying to silently tell him to stop fucking looking at
me.  He  leaves  to  get  the  car  and  when  he  comes
back,  he  hands  the  keys  to  Damon  and  looks  me
dead in the eyes.

“Have a goodnight, beautiful.” Just above a

whisper, but loud enough for Damon to hear.

My eyes go wide as he has just delivered me

a death sentence. Shit.

“I suggest you get the fuck away from her

before I physically remove you, asshole.”

“Hey man, sorry, I was jus-”

Damon grabs him by the collar, “I don’t

care what the hell you were just doing. Get. The.
Fuck. Away.” Then he throws him to the ground
and turns his glare to me.

“Get your ass in the car. Now.”

I scurry into the passenger seat, hands

shaking, heart racing.

I don’t know what tonight holds, but it’s

going to be a shit-show.

◆◆◆

The whole ride home, Damon is quiet.

Eerily  quiet.  Eerily  calm.  It’s  so  unlike  him.  I
expected grinding teeth, white knuckles and heavy
breathing.  But  no.  He  looks  calm,  cool  and
collected  on  the  outside  and  it’s  throwing  me  off
my  game.  We  pull  up  into  the  driveway  and  he
parks his car. I can’t control my breathing and I’m
about to have a panic attack. His rage and anger is
normal  and  I  know  how  to  handle  him  when  he’s
like that. This is new. I don’t know what to expect
and I’ve never been more terrified of him than I am
right now.

I look at him just sitting in the driver’s seat,

car turned off. Hands resting on each thigh, dressed
in  a  black  suit.  Near-shoulder  length  dark  hair
slicked  back.  Dark  eyes  gleaming  off  of  the  light
from  his  home.  He  licks  his  lips,  turns  to  me  and
starts a slow smirk. He leans in towards me, putting
his calm and assured hand up to my cheek.

He whispers softly, “Oh, Sweetheart. You

have no idea what you’re in for tonight.” He cocks

his head. “Are you scared?”

My eyes flutter as I slowly nod my head.

“Good.”

He suddenly moves his hand into my hair

and pulls it hard, and I yelp in shock. He throws my
head back, so he has access to my neck, and he
drags his tongue up my neck, then making his way
back down to the crook of my shoulder and bites.

Hard.

I yell out in pain and tears start streaming

down  my  face.  He  pulls  away  and  he  has  a  little
blood  on  his  lips.  He  fucking  drew  blood.  My  fear
amps up to a level I have never felt before. I know
Damon  has  some  sort  of  evil  or  demon  inside  of
him, but I can actually see it in his eyes now.

I’m staring at my very own devil directly in

the eyes.

He yanks my head to his and we are nose to

nose. He drags his nose around my face, testing his
territory.

“This is what is going to happen. You are

going to get out of this car, and you are going to go

straight inside the front door and kneel.
Understand?”

My heart stops and I shake my head.

“Sweetheart, if you disobey, I promise you

will not like the consequences.”

And there’s that word. Like a tight leash

around my throat, it whips me back in line. I nod
my head.

“There’s my girl. Alright, let’s go.”

I get out of the car and I pause, debating on

making a break for it. Think, Talia, think.

Fuck it.

I sprint towards the road. High on the

adrenaline that has just spiked through my body. I
will my legs to move as fast as humanly possible.

“Dammit, Talia!” Then I hear him take off

his jacket before he races after me.

The fucker took his jacket off first. I try to

scream, and nothing comes out.

Nothing. Fucking. Comes. Out.

This is my worst nightmare. He has a long-

ass driveway and I finally reach the road and
decide to go right. Just keep running, Talia. I hear
him gaining on me and I do not look behind.

Never look behind.

I hear his footsteps pounding on the

pavement right behind me and then my voice kicks
in.

I let out a blood-curdling scream right as he

attacks  me  from  behind  and  tackles  me  to  the
ground. He flips me so I’m on my back and he’s on
top  of  me  and  I’m  hitting  him  in  every  spot  I  can,
but  he  gets  his  hands  to  my  face  and  covers  my
mouth. He grabs a fist full of my hair, lifts my head
up  and  slams  it  back  down  on  the  pavement.
Excruciating  pain  fills  my  entire  head  and  I  try  to
cry out, but his hand is still over my mouth. I can’t
buck him off of me, he’s too heavy. Then my head
lifts again and he slams it down once more.

No pain this time. Just black.

◆◆◆

Pain.

That’s the first thing I feel when I come

around.  The  next  thing  I  feel,  are  the  shackles
around  my  wrists  and  ankles.  I  snap  my  head  up
once I realize I’m chained to a chair in a basement.
My  head  is  in  excruciating  pain  but  that  doesn’t
stop  me  from  trying  to  free  myself.  Fear  grips  me
like  a  vice  around  my  throat.  My  head  starts
throbbing  from  unshed  tears.  The  chair  must  be
bolted down, because it does not move an inch.

Calm down and look around you, Talia. I

look around at the unfinished basement and notice
the ground is concrete, the walls are big bricks, and
it’s one massive open room. There is a work bench
along  the  wall  in  front  of  me  with  tons  of  tools.  I
look  to  my  right  and  there  is  a  small  mattress,  my
overnight  bag,  and  nothing  else.  I  forgot  about  my
bag,  as  long  as  he  didn’t  go  through  it,  my  knives
will still be in there. If only I could get out of these
damn shackles.

The door opens and the devil himself walks

through.  “How  are  you  feeling,  Sweetheart?”  He
asks  as  if  he  actually  cares.  He  walks  towards  me
and kneels down, pressing his palm to my cheek. A
loving  gesture  for  such  a  hateful  man.  I  turn  my
head away from his hand and he ‘tsks’ me.

“I know you’re probably upset. It’s okay to

be upset. But you wouldn’t calm down, I had to do
what I had to do. But you’re home now.”

I look at him in confusion and pure hatred.

“Sweetheart, that was my surprise. You

don’t have to be with Sawyer anymore, I got you
out of there.”

He’s expecting praise and thanks. I have

none to give.

“I know it’s a big change and it’ll take some

getting  used  to.  But  you’ll  get  there.”  He  brushes
the  hair  out  of  my  face.  “You’ve  been  mine  since
you  were  six  years  old,  Talia.  You’ll  always  be
mine, Sweetheart. I love you so much.”

I spit blood into his perfectly groomed face

as a big ‘Fuck You’.

He takes a sharp inhale and I see the mask

switch like a light. He grabs my throat and
squeezes.

“Oh, baby. That was the wrong choice.” He

keeps  applying  pressure  and  I’m  gurgling  and
gasping, my eyes start to shut, and he lets go. I take
a  deep  inhale  and  then  cough  like  crazy.  He  walks
behind  me  and  unchains  my  ankles.  My  wrists  are

still chained together behind me.

“If you decide to behave, I’ll chain you to

the  wall  by  your  mattress,  which  I’m  sure  is  much
more comfortable. But for now, you’ll stay here. I’ll
be  back  in  thirty  minutes  to  see  if  you’ve  decided
to cooperate. Then we’ll get to have some fun.” He
leans  in  and  kisses  my  lips.  I  do  everything  I  can
not  to  gag.  He  turns  to  leave  and  leaves  me  here,
still chained to this chair.

I try to wiggle around to see if I still feel my

pocketknife, and I do.  I can’t do anything about it
right  now  though,  with  my  hands  behind  my  back.
I’m  going  to  have  to  wait  this  out  and  play  along.
But I do know one thing about tonight.

One of us will die.

Chapter 10

Damon enters the room again a little while

later, and I lead off. “I’m sorry I spit in your face.
I’ll be good.”

He smiles at me with his white, straight

teeth. “There’s my girl. I’ve been waiting to have
my way with you. Now that you’re compliant, it
will be so much easier.” He pauses and then stares
me dead in the eye. “But don’t forget, Talia. I like a
good fight. So, if you struggle and fight me? I’ll do
it right back, baby.”

He starts to unchain my hands from the

chair but keeps them behind my back.

“You might be a little wobbly, you’ve been

sitting here for about two hours, so lean on me if
you need to, okay?”

I nod my head at him. It’s so hard to plan an

attack when I have no clue what is going on or

what  is  going  to  happen.  He  leads  me  out  of  the
giant  open  room  and  into  a  hallway  still  in  the
basement.  There  is  a  door  directly  across  and  he
unlocks it. Inside is a carpeted room with red walls.
A  massive  king  size  bed  sits  in  the  middle  of  the
room  with  a  big  chest  at  the  end  of  the  bed.  My
eyes grow, and my hands start shaking. He leads me
to  the  bed  and  picks  me  up  as  if  I  weigh  nothing
and puts me in the middle of the bed sitting up.

“Please, you don’t have to do this, Damon.”

He chuckles, “I like it when you beg,

Sweetheart.” My fear heightens even more. When
he unchains my hands, I try to fight him, but he
throws me back and pins my wrists down.

“I told you I liked a fight. Already testing

the waters?” He cocks his head at me and scoots up
to  pin  one  of  my  arms  down  with  his  knee  and
chains  my  other  to  the  bed  frame,  then  does  the
same with my other arm. He moves down my body
until  we  are  face  to  face  and  presses  his  lips  to
mine.  I  don’t  return  it.  I  move  my  head  back  and
forth  until  he  grabs  my  chin  in  a  tight  hold  and
forces my mouth open. He sticks his tongue in my
mouth and I bite down as hard as I can.

“Ow, you bitch!” And then a slap rings out

and my cheek stings. “I see you’re going to go

about  this  the  hard  way.  That’s  fine,  more  fun  for
me.”  He  gets  off  the  bed  and  opens  the  chest  and
pulls out a belt. I start shaking and crying. I kick my
legs  at  him,  trying  to  break  free  from  the  chains
holding my arms up. He grabs ahold of my legs so
tightly, my muscles ache. He chains them down and
then  he  snaps  the  belt,  and  I  still  in  absolute  fear.
My dress has moved up my legs practically around
my  waist,  from  trying  to  fight  him  off  of  me.  He
walks around the bed, like a lion observing its prey.
Then out of nowhere, he slaps the belt down on top
of my thighs and I scream.

“That’s right, Sweetheart. Scream as loud as

you want.” Then he leans down and whispers in my
ear, “Not one soul will hear you, except me. And I
like your screams.”

I start sobbing and the screams continue, as

he  whips  every  spot  on  my  thighs  with  the  belt.
Welts  are  raised  and  they’ve  been  whipped  open.
Blood is dripping down my thighs from being hit in
the  same  spot  too  many  times.  The  pain  is  unlike
anything  I’ve  ever  experienced.  I  can’t  breathe,
and  the  next  whip  he  lays  on  my  stomach,  and  I
finally pass out from the pain.

I wake up drowsy, back in the big room on

the small mattress. I’m not chained up, but my
whole body is hurting so much, I can’t move. I can

tell  he  kept  doing  what  he  wanted  for  long  after  I
passed  out,  because  I’m  so  sore  between  my  legs.
I’m completely naked now, which means my knife
isn’t on me anymore. I look down and my legs and
stomach are absolutely heinous. Blood and cuts are
smeared  throughout  my  body.  I  throw  up  all  over
the  floor  next  to  me,  then  I  weep  silently  into  the
mattress.  Hopeless.  Praying  someone,  somehow
comes  looking  for  me.  Hears  me.  Decides  to  visit
Damon. Something.

I’m so tired, but my body can’t fall back

asleep. A few minutes later, the door opens. “Oh
good, you’re awake.”

He comes over to me and my adrenaline

spikes yet again. I will fight my whole way through
this night. I will not give in. I can’t. I start kicking
him as soon as he’s close enough to me. It’s futile,
because I’m so weak, but I give it all I have. He
raises his fist and punches me so hard my vision
blurs.

“That all ya got, Sweetheart?”

I feel blood dripping out of my nose. Being

punched in the face is so much different than your
body. I know what to expect if it’s below my
shoulders, but Sawyer never touched my face.

“I hate you. Don’t touch me, Damon.” I say

through muffled cries.

“Is that any way to treat your host,

Sweetheart?”

He’s over me right now, unchaining my

arms  and  then  pinning  them  to  the  mattress.
Somehow,  right  when  he  lifts  his  lower  body  up,  I
raise my knee as fast as I can making contact with
his groin. He instinctively lets go of me and I get up
to  run  away.  He’s  too  fast  though,  grabbing  my
ankle causing me to fall on the concrete. He slides
me  back  towards  him.  I’m  screaming,  clawing  at
the concrete floor, desperate to escape his hold.

“I see we’re due for another lesson, Baby.

You’ll behave eventually.”

He literally drags me by the ankle to the

bedroom  he  took  me  into  earlier.  He  picks  me  up
and  throws  me  up  on  the  bed,  but  my  head  makes
contact  with  the  headboard  this  time.  I  feel  blood
trickle  down  the  back  of  my  neck  almost  right
away, as it reopened the wound from earlier. I don’t
feel  the  pain  with  the  energy  spiking  in  my  blood
again, though. I hit and claw and scream at the top
of my lungs. He grabs one of my arms and bites my
forearm  so  hard,  I  lose  my  voice.  I  hear  him  spit
and  look  at  my  arm  and  he  bit  off  a  piece  of  my

skin when he pulled back, and it’s already bleeding
profusely.

He sits to my side on the bed wiping his

mouth clean of my blood. I use every ounce of
energy in me and kick him in his face as hard as I
can. It hurt like a bitch, but I made perfect contact.
I hop off the bed and run towards the door. Just as I
reach for the handle, he grabs a handful of my hair,
stopping me in my tracks. He walks me forward
and slams my head into the wall.

And it’s black again.

◆◆◆

I wake up drowsy, this time I’m back in the

chair.  My  ankles  are  tied  down,  but  my  hands  are
tied  together  in  front  of  me,  by  the  grace  of  God.
My entire body hurts. Everything burns and throbs.
My  right  eye  is  swollen  shut  and  my  lip  is  fat  and
puffy. My hair is ratted with blood. I look down and
my legs have cuts, bruises and dried blood covering
them. I see bite marks. I see open gashes. And then
I see it. On my right hip bone.

He carved his fucking initials on me. Damon

Xander. I look to the right and throw up once again.
The acid stinging the cuts in my lip. I’m shaky. I’m
dizzy. I have to get the fuck out of here. He moved
my bag this last time I was out, and I see it on the
work bench now.

I look down and see rope is securing my

ankles to the chair. I stay extremely quiet, trying to
hear if he’s coming yet, and I untie my ankles. As
quickly as I can, I run over to my bag and dig
through it. And then the heavens open up.

Bingo.

I grab my pocketknife that extends about

four  inches  when  out,  and  make  my  way  back  to
the  chair,  lightly  securing  my  ankles  back  to  the
chair. I sit and flip open the knife and start cutting
the  underside  of  the  rope  binding  my  hands,  and
then wait.

And wait.

There it is. I hear him talking, I think on the

phone, as I don’t hear a second person. Then I hear
the footsteps down the stairs. Then nothing.
Silence. Dead silence. I feel like my heart is beating

so loud the whole world can hear it. It’s racing. This
is the only chance I have.

After what feels like an hour, the door

cracks open and I drop my head. He walks over to
me and lifts my chin.

“How are you feeling, Sweetheart?”

I glare at him through my half-open left eye.

He doesn’t deserve my words.

“Have you really not learned anything

tonight?”

I give him nothing.

“I didn’t want to have to do this, I really

didn’t. But you’re giving me no choice!” He yells
the last part in frustration as he pulls on his hair,
pacing in front of me.

“You think you’re clever? That you can get

out of this? I will make sure you don’t. You’ll lose
everything  you’ve  ever  loved.  You  think  you  can
live  without  me,  Sweetheart?  You  thought  fucking
wrong. I will bury you before I let you live without
me.”  He  growls  in  my  face,  spraying  spit  all  over
me.  He  has  completely  lost  it  now,  and  I’m
terrified.

He goes to his work bench and grabs a

blowtorch.

“Wha-What are you doing?”

“Oh, she can speak! Should have spoken up

sooner, Sweetheart. He flips the switch and pulls
the trigger and I hear the swoosh and see the flame.
Tears flow down my face in fear of what might
happen if I fail.

Then the next sixty seconds happen in slow

motion  and  hyper-speed  at  the  same  time.  He
slowly approaches me and lifts the blowtorch to my
thigh.  I  feel  the  heat  sear  my  skin,  and  then  I
attack.  I  lift  both  of  my  hands,  bringing  the  knife
down  just  below  his  collarbone.  He  screams  and
falls  towards  me.  The  blowtorch  burning  and
blistering my stomach before he’s able to let go of
the trigger, and the flame goes out. I scream in pain
but am focused on the task ahead of me.

I’m on top of him and stab him once again. I

stab him six times in the torso and on the last
puncture, I leave the knife in there. I run out of the
basement and up the stairs. I go to grab the phone,
and I remember he said he flagged his number. I try
anyways, and it goes through. Of course, he lied to
me.

Chapter 11

Fifteen Years Old

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

My eyes flutter open. Where the hell am I?

My vision is blurry. I can only open my left eye. I
try to move and groan in pain. My whole body
hurts.

Then it hits me.

I gasp and sit up, on instinct I grab all of the

wires and try rip them off of my body, when hands
stop me. I jump away from the hands.

Don’t touch me.

“Tali! Stop! Talia!”

That voice.

I calm immediately. “Mac?” Tears start

flowing down my dry face, stinging the cuts on my

cheeks. “Mac, is that you?”

“Yeah, babe.” I hear the sadness in her

voice, “What can I do, Tal? What do you need?” I
can tell she’s crying. I still can’t see out of this dang
eye, though.

I let out a guttural sob in relief that I’m with

her. My hands are shaking and I sink back down to
my  bed  as  Mac  gently  hugs  me.  She’s  moving  the
hair  out  of  my  face  and  is  shushing  me.  I  hear
someone  else  enter  the  room  and  gasp  into  tears,
and  I  know  it’s  her  mom.  They  are  both  consoling
me  as  I  bleed  my  heart  dry  of  the  sorrow.  Of  the
last nine and a half years of my life.

Tears for every bruise.

Every cut.

Every lie.

Every coercion.

Every moment he spent grooming me to

trust him.

Every time he raped me.

Tears for every word I didn’t speak.

Then I remember. Him.

“Where is he?” I ask frantically. Feeling

nothing but terror for what might lie ahead of me.

Mackenzie’s mom speaks up, “They

brought him in to the hospital, Sweetie, but he
didn’t make it. They pronounced him dead about
thirty minutes after they arrived.”

She moves the hair out of my face, “You

don’t have to be afraid anymore, Baby.” She says
with tears rolling down her beautiful, clean
cheekbones. “I’m so sorry, Tali-babes.”

I shake my head, “Sawyer, he was in on it.

You can’t leave me until they have him. Please
don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. Please. Pl-”
I’m rocking back and forth, squeezing her hand in a
death grip, begging her not to leave my side.

“Talia, I will not leave you. You’re not

alone anymore, Honey. I’m not going anywhere.”
She looks up at Mac and nods, and Mac exits the
room. “Honey, the cops are here. I know it’s hard,
but-”

I shake my head, “No, bring them in. I need

to tell them while everything is still fresh in my
memory.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

I nod my head, “What I have to say may be

hard for you to hear, but I don’t think I can do it if
you leave.”

She squeezes my hand.

“Then I’ll stay. Right here.”

Chapter 12

Present Day

Shattered Glass by Fit For A King is playing

through the speakers. I look at Preston and he gives
me a small, sad half-smile. I listen to the lyrics and
it makes my breath hitch. This song could be a
soundtrack for my life.

I can’t stop.

I can’t stop, my path is set,
All I know is violence.

The accuracy is almost eerie.

I know you’re rotting inside, but no one knows

you’re hurting
You’re searching for light but all you know is
burning
Can’t find the cure for something no one can see
Can’t find the answers when there’s no room left to

breathe

Preston reaches over and squeezes my

hand,  and  I  let  him.  He  knows  I  had  a  rough
upbringing,  but  I  don’t  think  he  knows  the  full
extent  of  it.  Mac’s  mom  was  one  of  very  few
people  to  know  everything,  because  she  was  there
when  I  told  the  cops.  She  was  there  when  they
hurried  out  of  the  room  to  arrest  Sawyer.  She  was
there for me during years of therapy.

But she’s gone, too.

The only woman to ever be a mom to me.

Mackenzie knew some. I would talk to her when I
needed. But I never wanted her to feel guilty about
anything. Because Mackenzie was selfless, and she
would have blamed herself for not speaking up.

But she’s gone, too.

We pull up to Black Lotus and run into the

shop  since  it’s  still  down  pouring.  My  best  guy,
Dunc  looks  up  and  his  face  falls.  He  immediately
steps out from behind his table and pulls me into a
big  bear  hug.  He’s  a  6’3”,  275-pound  teddy  bear.
His  wife  is  the  sweetest  5-foot-tall  woman  you’ll
ever  meet.  The  visual  contrast  between  them  is
hilarious, but they were made for each other.

They are the other few to know.

Because they drew my stories and victories

all over my body, starting when I was seventeen. I
couldn’t stand looking at the scars that covered my
entire body. So, Dunc turned me into a piece of
artwork. And Liss was always there for me.
Holding my hand. Making me laugh. Crying for me.

“Just because your canvas has some rips

and tears, does not make the art any less
beautiful.”

That’s when I, too, fell in love with Liss.

Dunc just smiled at me, knowing how lucky he was.

“Baby girl, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks, Dunc. Liss here?”

“Yeah, let me text her.”

I wipe the tears collecting in my eyes and

give Preston a small smile. Him and Dunc do that
head nod thing guys do and shake hands to greet
each other. Then, I hear Liss come out.

“Talia?” I hear Liss yell into the shop

frantically looking for me. I give her a small smile

and she races over to me wrapping me in a warm
hug.

“What do you need, honey?”

Honey, sweetie, babe, baby... I don’t care,

but never sweetheart.

“Gonna get one for her. The spot I saved.

It’s hers.”

Her and Dunc nod and smile, leading me to

the  table.  They  were  going  to  come  to  the  funeral
but  had  to  cover  the  shop.  I’m  pretty  sure  he  left
the  afternoon  open  for  me,  knowing  I  would  be
here.

I love them.

“What is gonna be, Baby girl?”

“Wings. Color.”

“You got it.”

Preston sits next to me, silent for once in his

life. I’m used to our normal cat and mouse banter,
but this whole situation is throwing both of us off
our game.

“You got time for another after, Tal?”

“Hell yeah, man.”

I smile as Dunc, Liss, Preston and I all talk

about Mac. It takes Dunc quite a while, the wings
are big and go across my upper back, it’s about nine
pm when he finishes, and they couldn’t be any
more perfect. Tears build, and I look at my friends.

“Thank you. This is exactly what I needed.”

I had always left my upper back bare.

Waiting for something special to fill the only place
on my body that was unmarked with scars. Now I
know why, it was always for her. My sister.

Preston takes off his shirt and my heart does

double time. It’s beating so fast and my face is so
red. Then he lays a full Preston-smirk on me, and I
really needed that smirk. It makes it feel like things
are normal again.

But they aren’t.

He gives his back to Dunc, and I look at his

full  sleeves,  and  torso  covered  in  tattoos.
Absolutely  beautiful  works  of  art  on  a  beautiful
man.  He  has  three  perfectly  spaced  lines  made  up
of Roman Numerals on his right shoulder blade. He
gets another line right below those. I look at him in

question and he just lifts an eyebrow at me.

Guess I’ll get that story some other time.

I rub my daisy tattoo on my forearm. The

one that covers the bite mark of the chunk of skin
Damon  bit  off  of  my  arm.  The  only  colored  tattoo
on  my  body.  Mackenzie’s  mom  and  I  both  loved
daisies,  so  I  tattooed  one  on  my  arm  in  honor  of
her, over the ugliest visible scar on my body.

Except my wings for Mac, now. Those are

color.

I look up and Preston is already staring at

me  through  hooded  eyes.  Looking  at  me  like  I’m
the  only  person  he  sees.  Like  I’m  the  only  person
he wants to see. I deliver the stare right back. Like
he’s  the  only  person  I  see.  Like  he’s  the  only
person  I  ever  want  to  see.  Like  he’s  the  person  I
want to be with.

There is something peculiar about denying

yourself  love,  because  of  who  a  person  could
potentially  be.  Who  a  person  used  to  be.  Denying
yourself  the  love  you  know  they  would  give  you
because  you’re  afraid  they  will  turn  back  into  a
monster that you never even knew. Putting yourself
through hell anyways for not being with them.

Chapter 13

Seven Years Ago

Ridge’s

“Tal, three o’clock. He’s not taking his eyes

off you.” My friend, Mia, says.

I casually turn around and meet the dark

brown eyes, shaded by an LVFT hat. I know those
eyes. Those are bedroom eyes. I look directly back
at him and give him a slow smirk, then turn back to
my friends.

“Talia Daniels is up to bat, ladies and

gentlemen.” Mac says and we laugh, “Are you
going to go over there, or what?”

“Eventually. Gonna make him sweat it out a

bit.” I wink at my best friend, making her and Mia
laugh.

“Ooh, hard-to-get route. I like it.” She says

as I smile, and we all laugh.

“Don’t know about you girls, but I need

another  drink!”  I  go  and  grab  another  round  from
our hot bartender. She’s here often and I always tell
her how much of a babe she is. She always rolls her
eyes  at  me  and  laughs.  She’s  got  blonde  hair  and
piercings  in  her  cheeks  and  some  tattoos.  My  kind
of girl.

“Hey Briar! Can I get another round?”

“For sure, I’ll get ya now.” She smiles at me

and gets our shots. I down mine and when Mac
doesn’t drink hers, I do.

I don’t drink often, but when I do, I like to

have some fun. I never get so drunk I can’t be in
control of a situation though.

Never.

I feel my last shot of the night making me

hella brave. We pick our song for karaoke and
fucking nail it. Performance of the decade if you
ask me.

Mystery man in the back, giving me those

eyes the entire time. Sexy smirk decorating that
gorgeous sharp jaw line. Tattoos covering those
arms.

Gulp.

After a while of dancing with Mia, Mac

comes back to me.

“I’m leaving! I’ll see you Monday!” She

hugs Mia.

“What?! Noooo! We’re just getting star-

Ohh…” I see bakery man behind her. I’d leave if I
were her too. Smart girl, she is.

She hugs me as I tell her, “Don’t do

anything I wouldn’t do!” Which makes her roll her
eyes at me.

Usual.

Mia and I keep dancing, singing and

laughing.  At  around  eleven  we  are  about  to  leave;
she’s  heading  home  with  her  man-friend.  I’m
almost  out  the  door  when  I  hear  a  deep  bravado
stop me in my tracks.

“Forgetting something?”

I turn around to my mystery man. Damn,

those  eyes.  Something  about  brown  eyes,  they  get
me. He has one eyebrow lifted and a playful full-of-
shit  smirk  on  that  beautiful  face.  I  want  to  run  my
finger  across  his  jaw  to  see  if  it  would  cut  me.  I

giggle to myself.

“I don’t know, am I?” I return with my own

eyebrow lifted.

He stalks forward backing me against a

wall, one arm up by my head. He dips down in by
my face.

“Yeah, Angel. You are.”

Holy Hell. This moment is so charged with

sexual tension, I let out a slightly breathy moan. He
brings  his  lips  just  a  hairs  length  away  from  mine.
Close  enough  to  touch,  but  not  quite  there.  Mine
are  already  tingling,  desperate  to  know  what  his
would feel like.

I lick my lips, dragging my teeth over my

bottom lip. Right when I release it, he goes in and
gently bites down on it.

Glory, glory, hallelujah.

He drags his teeth slowly back until my

tongue releases.

“Mine or yours, Angel?”

“Yours.”

He grabs my hand and leads me to the back

of the parking lot to his car. Holy. Fuck.

“Am I seeing things correctly or is that a

Black 1970 Chevelle?”

“Am I seeing things correctly, or did you

just guess my car?”

“Oh God, it’s so… beautiful.” I drag my

finger along it. I lift my eyes and give him a daring
look. I’m a car girl. Mac’s dad made me one. It was
something him and I did to bond. He became a
second dad to me, and this was our thing.

He returns the eyebrow and gives me an

evil glint, he’s toe to toe with me again.

“My Angel is a bit bad, isn’t she?”

I lift up, bringing my nose right to his and

whisper, “I never claimed to be good.”

He growls and devours me. Grabbing the

back of my legs and lifting me up before slamming
me against his car. I grab his hair and our mouths
are fused together. He opens the back door
simultaneously and tosses me in the back seat.

This man just fucking threw me in the back

seat.

Oh, hell yes.

He prowls in after me, but he’s way too big

to do it this way. Besides, I don’t do bottom. I’m in
control. I push him up into a sitting position and
crawl over him. We are frantic, taking clothes off as
fast as we can in between kisses. Once we’re both
free and he has a condom on, my legs are on either
side of his, and I slowly sink down onto him.

I see stars.

Let me preface this situation. I may be on

top, but I am definitely not in control, he is.
Honestly? I feel no fear.

He grabs my hair in a tight fist and yanks

my  head  back.  He  finds  a  spot  and  sucks  on  my
neck,  traveling  his  tongue  down  to  my  nipple,
latching  on.  He’s  controlling  the  pace,  my
movements. Everything.

And I’ve never came faster.

“That’s it, Angel.” He says through gritted

teeth.

That voice. I shiver over again and it sends

him over the edge.

We both slow, but our breathing is frantic.

Never in my life have I experienced a

connection  so  charged  like  this  with  another
human,  and  so  quickly.  I  will  allow  one  night  with
this  man,  and  that’s  it.  Because  I  could  see  me
getting attached to this one.

And I don’t do well with a man having that

kind of power over me anymore.

“You don’t think we’re done yet, do you,

Angel?”

“I’d be disappointed if we were.”

He smiles at me, our banter feeling natural.

We throw our clothes on and hop in the

front  seat  to  race  to  his  house.  Once  we’re  in  his
driveway,  we  both  get  out  and  the  moment  we
reach  his  doorstep,  it’s  like  the  first  time  all  over
again.  He  unlocks  the  door  he  throws  me  over  his
shoulder and hauls me to his room, throwing me at
the edge of the bed, sliding my pants down.

I stop him on his journey, “I need to say one

thing, so you don’t fuck this up.”

He looks up at me with a questioning look.

Hair an absolute mess from my hands. Damn he’s
sexy.

“If you call me ‘Sweetheart’, I will get up

and leave faster than you can say condom. We
clear?”

“Crystal.”

He’s about to go down on me but stops. It’s

unfortunate.

“I feel like I should’ve covered this, but my

name-”

“Ah, ah, ah, ah.” I place my finger over his

lips. “Nuh-uh. No names.”

He looks shocked and doesn’t have a reply.

So, he does the next best thing.

Gets to fucking work.

Chapter 14

Greyson’s 1st Birthday

3 Years Ago

“Oh my gosh! Talia this is amazing!” My

best  friend  smiles  at  me  as  I  bring  the  dump  truck
inspired  cake  to  the  door.  It’s  in  the  middle  of
summer and it’s bloody hot. But Greyson is turning
one today and there is a party to be had. I told Mac
I’m  making  my  Godson’s  cake.  No  option,  I  will
handcuff her if she tries.

“Hey, Bitch. You look gorgeous! Damn,

you’re  glowing!”  And  she  does.  She’s  in  a  cream
off-the-shoulder  top  that  only  comes  down  right
below  her  boobs,  with  a  cream,  boho  high-waisted
skirt.  Only  showing  a  sliver  of  skin.  She’s  tan  and
absolutely gorgeous.

I can’t get over her naturally blonde hair

now. Sometimes hair grows back different after
cancer, and my best friend is now a hot blonde.

“Oh, whatever. You’re lucky I’m not naked,

it’s too dang hot.” I laugh at her.

“Tali-babes, you look amazing. It’s because

Preston is gonna be here, huh?”

I wink at her, “Maybe. I’ve only been

waiting four damn years to meet the guy.” I say as I
smooth my light blue lace, strapless sundress with
peekaboo holes cut out around my sides,
showcasing my artwork. My long black hair is in a
loose, messy braid.

She shrugs as family and friends are running

around, laughing and playing games. Balloons and
streamers are hung all over the house. They were
going to do it outside…

But AC trumps heat.

“He travels like crazy for work. He’s hardly

ever here. And when he is, it’s for like 8 hours.
We’re even lucky to see him.”

I change the subject, “Where’s my little-

man? Aunt Tali has surprises for him!” I say
rubbing my hands back and forth, making her laugh
while Ryland comes up from behind, hugging her.

“Have I told you, you look sexy as hell

today, Baby?” He nibbles her ear. I want to
disappear, so I don’t have to witness their suck-fest,

and she forgets I’m standing in front of her
anyways.

“You have, but tell me again.”

“You look sexy as hell today, Baby.”

I make a gagging sound and they both look

at me and laugh.

“Hey Tal, you look beautiful, too.” He says

with a wink. “Planning on busting some balls
today?” Ryland says as he gives me a hug.

“Can’t a girl look good for herself? Damn…

But yes, I do plan on doing so. Now, where is that
fat baby. I got cheeks to kiss.”

“I think Richard has him.”

Bingo. I go and search for Ryland’s dad,

and when I spot him, I make my way.

“Sorry, Mr. Bennett. Aunt Tali has some

loving to give.” I say as I take my favorite fat baby
out of his arms. Greyson comes willingly, clapping
his hands.

“Tata! Tata!” And gives me a kiss.

My heart melts. I love this kid so freaking

much. I babysit and take him out as much as Ry
and Mac let me. My little squish.

“Hi, squish! How are you, Bud?” I say

smothering him with kisses, making him giggle like
crazy.

“Wanna go see your cake?!”

nods

his

head

and

down

enthusiastically.

“Wow! Tata! Boon!” He says pointing to all

the balloons as I make my way into the kitchen.

I show him his cake and he loves it. I made

him a mini cupcake to sneak. A pre-game to the
cake if ya get what I mean. As I’m trying to clean
the evidence off of his face before his parents catch
me, I hear the front door open.

“Where’s my little dude?!” I hear a deep

bravado right outside the kitchen.

I feel that voice in all the right spots at such

a wrong time.

No fucking way.

“Preston!” I hear Mac say from the living

room.

“Ah, my favorite girl! Where’s Ry, I’m

gonna wait and give you all my compliments when
he’s here just to piss him off.”

I hear her hit his arm. Or his chest. Not sure.

“You’re awful.” She laughs, “Ry! Pres is here!”

A moment later I hear Ryland, “Preston! So

good to see you! Damn, we don’t get to enough.” I
hear them do that handshake-one arm-backslap-hug
thing guys always do. I’m trying to busy myself
cleaning Greyson’s face and hands, even though
they were clean 2 minutes ago. If it’s not him? Then
I worried for nothing, no harm no foul.

If it is him?

Then… I don’t even know. I’ve thought

about  him  for  four  years.  That’s  how  much  of  an
imprint  he  left  on  me.  That  night  after  Ridge’s  is
engrained  in  my  memory  for  the  rest  of  time.  I
think  I  got  thirty  minutes  of  sleep  before  I  snuck
out and ordered an Uber. Never to see him again.

Until now.

“Talia!” My heart is beating like crazy. I

take a deep breath and put my confidence back

where it belongs.

I grab my little squish, turn around and walk

the five steps out of the kitchen to see them.

His medium length hair is pushed back on

his head by his Ray bans. He’s in a white linen
button-up and black shorts, with white running
shoes.

Tan.

Tattoos.

Delicious.

He was talking to Ryland, so once I stepped

forward, the wide white smile he was wearing as he
turned his head to me, completely disappeared once
his eyes met mine. They widened and I see his
throat bob.

Oh, yeah. He remembers me. At least I

wasn’t the only one.

“Preston, this is Talia. Talia, Preston.”

I put a smirk on my face.

“So nice to meet you, Preston.” I say with

my hand out to shake.

He envelopes mine with his and it feels like

Christmas morning. He gives me that beautiful
arched eyebrow and his own playful smile.

“I can assure you; the pleasure was all

mine.” He winks when Ry and Mac give each other
a look.

I see what he did there. We play it coy for

the  next  forty-five  minutes  and  watch  Greyson
blow  out  his  candles,  open  his  presents,  and  run
around the house soaking up the attention. We send
each  other  every  wink,  smirk,  smile  and  glance,
giving  away  what’s  on  our  mind.  Every  memory,
burned there, nowhere to go.

I’m in the kitchen cleaning up so Mac can

enjoy the day with her son, and I feel him behind
me.

“Angel.”

I smile at his nickname and turn around.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” I say with a slight

shake to my head and a light, humorous smile on
my lips.

“How is it possible you look even better

than I remember?”

“I could say the same.”

“I can’t believe you remember.” He

whispers in awe, eyes roaming my entire face.

“I couldn’t forget if I wanted to.”

He slowly licks his lips, and my eyes

automatically glance down to them. He smiles
knowingly. “See me later.”

He states it, not a question. A statement.

I click my tongue. “Sorry, I’m busy.”

His eyebrows draw up, and he cages me in

against the counter. “What will it take to change
your mind?”

I look at his eyes, then his lips, then back to

his  eyes.  “Guess  you’re  just  gonna  have  to  figure
that  one  out.”  He  smiles  in  humor  and  straightens
up;  I  turn  and  walk  into  the  living  room  to  join
everyone else. Taking one more look back, and he’s
already  watching  me.  An  up-to-no-good  smile
gracing  his  face,  looking  at  me  with  those  same
hooded eyes as four years ago.

Chapter 15

Ding.

I put down the mixing bowl and wipe the

flour off of my hands and look at my phone.

Unknown: Angel.

I feel myself smile.

Talia: Who is this?

Preston: Funny. You’ve got jokes, Angel.

Talia: I’ve been known for my humor.

Preston: Humble too.

Talia: ;) How’d you get my number, creepy

man?

Preston: I asked Ryland for it. Then when he

said no, I threatened him.

Talia: HA. I bet you’re harmless.

Preston: I only bite when asked. ;)

Queue the memories. Inappropriate feelings

going on in my kitchen.

Preston: You’re thinking about it too, aren’t

you?

Talia: Of course not. I’m baking. Focused on

mixing shit.

Preston: You really do have jokes.

Preston: I’ve thought about it for four years,

Angel.

Talia: I mean… it was alright.

Preston: Bullshit

Talia: Okay, I have too. That what you want to

hear?

Preston: That among other things. Go out with

me.

Talia: Gonna have to try harder than that, pretty

boy.

Preston: Okay, now you have me laughing.

Talia: ;)

Preston: See you soon, Angel.

I laugh to myself. Enjoying this giddy

feeling that I’ve never felt before. I spent countless
hours  in  therapy  when  I  got  out  of  the  hospital.
Mackenzie’s  parents  became  my  guardians,  and  I
truly had never felt more thankful or lucky to have
them. Therapy was monumental for me. I’ve never
had  a  wallowing  type  of  personality,  but  I  had
absolutely no self-esteem. I used to say that Claire,
my therapist, put me back together. But she always
reminded me that I did that. I had the power to do
that, I just didn’t have the tools, so she showed me
them.

And I did, I put myself back together. Piece

by piece.

Then there was Danny.

Danny was the other monumental tool in

my  healing.  I  met  him  through  therapy,  both
surviving  abusive  childhoods,  and  we  clicked
immediately.  He  was  an  outlet  I  could  talk  to  that
actually  understood  every  feeling  I  had.  Every
emotion.

He was the first person I had been intimate

with after that night. I was eighteen years old. He
was nineteen. I wouldn’t have trusted anyone else
to help show me what it was supposed to be like.

We have a very… strange relationship.

Although  we  had  a  sexual  relationship  for  two
years…  we  knew  it  would  never  go  further.  We
always  knew  we  would  only  be  friends.  But  we
knew we could help heal each other.

So, we did.

He ended up getting an awesome job out in

Oregon, and eventually married a few years later.
We still keep in contact, but now he’s like a brother
figure, and I absolutely adore his wife.

Like I said, weird but he’s an important

piece of my puzzle and the reason I’m able to be
confident today with my body.

I get back to baking and once I’m finished, I

head  in  the  office  and  go  through  my  mail,  file
some  documents,  check  our  marketing  campaigns
and  put  the  next  weeks  schedule  together.  This
bakery is my baby. Something I was able to put my
heart  and  soul  into.  Something  I  wouldn’t  have
without Mac’s parents.

When they passed, they left their money to

Mac  and  her  little  sister,  but  since  her  little  sister
passed, Mac inherited her portion. But then when I
was  called  into  the  room  to  go  over  the  will,  they
amended  it  and  added  me  in  there.  I  don’t  know
what I did to deserve them, but I’m the luckiest girl
in the world that Mac never gave up on me.

So, we packed up, moved to Charleston and

I  opened  the  bakery.  Mac  and  I  made  the  perfect
team.  Everything  fell  together  perfectly.  We  lived
together  for  a  long  time  and  then  I  wanted  to  try
and  get  my  own  space.  It  was  a  huge  part  of  my
recovery  that  I  put  off  for  a  long  time,  and  I  was
terrified  at  first,  but  I’m  okay  now.  I  take  Krav
Maga and Jiu Jitsu two or three times a week, and I
have multiple locks on all my doors and windows. I
may check them several times, but it’s the one tic I
let myself have. You can never be too safe.

I decide to call Mac on my way home.

“Tali-babes!”

“Hey Big Mac. Tell that ogre of a husband

of yours to stop giving out my number.” I laugh.

“Hey, threats were involved. He knows

where to shoot his shot, that’s all I’ll say.” He says
over the speaker phone.

We all laugh.

“How’s the trip? How’s my squish?”

“Great! He’s sleeping right now. We’re

gonna take him to the water park when he wakes
up.”

“Awe, my fat baby in a swimsuit! Send me

lots of pictures!”

Mac laughs, “We will. Love you, Tal!”

“Love you guys, too. Have fun.”

They left the day after Greyson’s birthday

party on a little getaway. They deserve it. They’ve
been through a lot. I look at the clock and I have
about thirty minutes till BJJ, so I change, make a
protein shake and head off to kick some ass.

◆◆◆

I just sit down to eat dinner, self-defense

class  killed  me  yesterday  and  I’m  so  damn  sore.
Right when I sit down and turn on Netflix, there’s a
knock  on  my  door.  I  freeze  immediately,  Mac
always  texts  before  she  comes,  and  no  one  else
comes over. Fear snakes down my spine. Irrational,
but I can’t help it. Then my phone beeps.

Mac: It’s me. Sorry, I forgot to press send that I

was coming over!

I take a deep breath in relief and get up to

get the door.

“You scared the hell out of me, and you

don’t even have my favorite fat baby?” I scoff and
open the door for her to come in.

She smiles, “He’s technically a toddler now

that he’s one.”

“He’s always gonna be my fat baby. Even

when he’s grown and has a six pack.”

She smiles, and then twists her wedding

ring.

I rub my daisy tattoo; she twists her ring.

Those are our tells.

“Alright, what’s going on?”

“Um, sit down, Tal. I wanted to talk to you

about something.”

I freeze. “It’s not back is it?”

“No! No. God, I’m sorry. No, I’m healthy.”

I exhale in relief. “You scared the fuck out

of me.”

“Sorry.” She shakes her head. “So, I was

talking to Ry, and I didn’t know any of this until
now. I don’t know why he didn’t tell me sooner; we
had a whole fight over it. Then make-up sex, which
was-”

“Mac. Spit it out.” I laugh.

“Right. Okay, so I feel like I need to talk to

you about Preston. With your… past and all.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s had… drug problems, Tal.” She says

with a twist to her lips. I told her he was the one

from  Ridge’s  and  she  died  laughing.  She  knows
how  I’ve  always  been  hung  up  over  mystery  man,
and  to  find  out  it  was  Preston?  Let’s  just  say  she
was excited.

But that excitement just died.

“I see.”

“I’m sorry, Tal.”

“Is he sober?”

“Ryland says he’s been sober for a very

long time. He had a few slips when he was younger,
and he still talks to his sponsor regularly. But he’s
been clean for years now. I guess it started when he
was seventeen and had an injury. His dad was also
an addict. I don’t know the full story, just that.”

I nod my head, decision already made.

“Thanks for telling me, Mac.” I give her a

sad smile and she grabs my hand.

“Of course. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“I’d stay and eat your dinner, but I have a

pile of smelly baby clothes to wash. See how

domesticated I am?”

I laugh and shake my head, “I swear your

mom just came out of your mouth.”

She gives me a big smile, “Thanks, Tali-

babes.”

“Of course.”

She leaves and I lock my door and check it

three  times.  Then  return  to  my  couch  and  stare  at
the  dinner  that  no  longer  looks  appetizing.  I  feel  a
weight  of  sadness  in  my  chest,  settling  in.  Not
wanting  to  accept  the  hand  I’ve  been  dealt,  yet
again.

The man I’ve wanted for four years, the

only man I’ve ever yearned for, can never be mine.

Chapter 16

I am in an absolutely rotten mood.

Preston has texted a few times, playfully

teasing,  then  wondering  why  the  hell  I’m  not
responding.  The  wound  is  still  fresh  and  I’m  not
going  to  keep  picking  the  scab.  All  it  does  is
prolong  the  healing,  and  I  need  to  heal  the  pride
and hope that have been hurt in this one.

Imagine being hung up on a figment of your

imagination for four years, finally coming face-to-
face, just to be torn down before you even get
another taste.

Ouch.

It’s two pm and I sent home Brooke, one of

my workers. I’d prefer to bake and blast my music
in  a  desolate  state.  I’m  in  the  back  and  I  hear
banging  on  the  front  door.  I  draw  my  eyebrows
together  wondering  what  the  hell  is  going  on.  Our

hours are posted on the door, surely, they can see it
literally in front of their face. I wipe off my hands
and make my way up front.

I see a delicious looking, yet forbidden,

specimen of a man looking for me. He’s wearing his
sunglasses so I’m unfortunate to not be able to see
those hooded bedroom eyes, that I’ve no doubt are
glaring at me.

I do a big sigh and unlock the front door and

open it. He walks right in.

“Sure, come in.” I say as I lock the door

again.

“Angel.” I turn around and he’s pushed his

Ray bans into his hair on top of his head and he
already has that impatient eyebrow lifted at me.

“Mind explaining to me why you’re

ignoring me?”

“Mind explaining to me why you’ve tracked

me down for this?”

“Yeah, I want answers.”

I sigh and wipe my forehead, then I rub my

daisy tattoo as I confess, “Whatever this is, isn’t

going to work, Preston.”

“And why is that?” He’s stalking towards

me.

I’m on edge, but not in fear. Oh no. I’m on

edge because of the lust coursing through my veins.

“I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Angel. You

think after years of always looking for you in the
back of my mind, all over the world, that I’m going
to accept that answer?” He clicks his tongue. “Not
gonna happen. Now that I have you in front of me?
Close enough to devour you the way I want to? A
taste I’ve not had in four years… I’m starving,
Angel.”

He’s right in front of me now, backed up

against the bookcase.

Bookcase sex. Holy shit, there’s a new

fantasy. Focus, Talia.

I swallow the drool pooling in my mouth,

licking my lips.

“Trust me, Preston. I’ve wanted nothing

more than to taste you for the last four years. You

think I don’t want this? I do. I fucking do. But I
can’t, and you’re just going to have to accept that.”

He scoffs, “That’s a no-can-do. I’ll give you

some space, but that’s it.” He stands to leave. “See
you soon, Angel.”

Once he walks out the door, I let out the

breath I was holding and sink to the floor. I don’t
cry too often, but I feel tears knocking walls down
to make their way out. My head hurts from holding
them back.

That’s the funny thing about what your

heart wants, and what your brain thinks you need.
Your heart tells you where you want to go, and
your brain tells you where you should go. It’s up to
you, a decision that will either make or break you.
Protect one or the other. It will either fall together
or fold, and you won’t know until it’s too late.

A chance I wish I was brave enough to take.

Chapter 17

3 Months Later

October

Preston: I bet you have morning breath.

Talia: I’m flipping you off right now.

Preston: Angel is feisty today.

Talia: Please. I’m always feisty.

Preston: Go out with me.

Talia: NO.

Preston: So, you’re saying there’s a chance??

I smile at the fact he just used my favorite

movie quote. Ever.

Talia: Unfair. Now you’re using my lines against

me?

Preston: If I would have told you where we

would be going, it would’ve been a shoe-in.

Talia: Yeah, okay.

Preston: Fine. I’ll wave to you when the camera

pans over me on the Panther sidelines. I’ll even
blow ya a kiss.

Talia: …

Talia: Wait, what…

Talia: Preston motha-fuckin Taylor. Don’t be

lying to me.

Preston: I never lie.

Talia: UGGGHHHH

Preston: We can even go as friends, idc. JUST

GO WITH ME, DAMMIT.

Fuck it.

Talia: Alriiiight.

Preston: HELL YEAH, ANGEL.

Talia: I’m flipping you off right now.

Preston: I’m licking that finger right now.

Talia: Perv.

Preston: ;)

Preston: Sunday. Be ready at ten. Want me to

pick you up at the bakery?

Talia: Yeah, sounds good. Thank you.

He knows I’m weird about where I live, so I

appreciate  that  he  offered  to  pick  me  up  at  the
bakery.  The  last  three  months  he’s  become  a
welcome annoyance. He’s actually kind of funny. I
look  forward  to  our  texts  back  and  forth,  they
almost always make me smile.

Okay, they do every time. Whatever.

Doesn’t  change  anything.  It’s  kind  of  nice  he
travels  so  much  for  work,  because  then  I’m  not
tempted  by  his  face  in  person  when  he’s  feeling
stalky. Rather, he texts all the time. Much easier to
play it cool.

I’m experimenting in the kitchen today; I

blast Loner by Yungblud and get back at it. I’m

testing  recipes  for  the  Christmas  season.  After
about  thirty  tries,  I  finally  perfect  a  cupcake  that
tastes  like  a  thin  mint.  It’s  so  good,  it’s  mental.  I
pick up my phone and make a call on speaker.

I hear giggles first, “Stop it, Ry.” She

whispers, followed by more giggles, “Hi, Ta-Tali-
babes.”

“Oh Lord, what are you doing? WAIT, don’t

answer that. I just need to know if you told Preston
that I’m obsessed with the Panthers?”

More giggles and a sigh, I’m gonna puke. “I,

uh, yeah, sorry.”

“I’m gonna get you back, bitch. Now I’m

getting off the phone, you two are worse than
teenagers.”

“Love you, bye!” Then she hangs up.

I laugh and shake my head. Kids.

◆◆◆

I park in the back of the bakery and Preston

is already here, leaning against that sexy car. I
smile, holding back laughter and wave at him. He’s

wearing a Panthers sweatshirt and beanie, black
Adidas sweats and white sneakers. And those sexy
sunglasses he’s always wearing. He gives me a big
smile when he sees my outfit.

We’re wearing the same fucking thing.

I finally let out my laughter and he busts out

laughing, and I even have to wipe away tears, we
laugh that hard.

“Were you watching me get dressed this

morning? The fuck?” I laugh, teasing him.

“Psh. I wish.”

I roll my eyes. I hop in the car, jittery with

excitement.

“You look gorgeous, Angel.” I raise my

eyebrow at him.

“Friends can complement each other.

Besides, you look too good not to compliment.” He
licks his lips.

I bite back my smile and shake my head at

him.

“I know we’re both metal heads, which I

appreciate about you by the way. But game-day
means trap music.”

I laugh, “I’m down with that.”

He awards me a gorgeous white smile that

makes  me  dizzy.  It’s  that  pretty.  We  stop  and  grab
drive-through  breakfast  and  a  bunch  of  snacks.
Then when we’re on the road, he cranks up Run It
Up  by  DDG  followed  by  the  sickest  playlist.  We
laugh, dance and rap the whole 3.5-hour car ride. I
don’t  know  the  last  time  I’ve  had  this  much  fun.
When we finally make it to Charlotte, we park and
head for the stadium. He takes a back entrance and
we skip all the lines, showing people our badges.

“Do you have special privileges or

something?” I tease.

He winks, “Or something.”

Damn, he’s pretty. That brown hair, those

brown eyes, those tattoos.

Breathe, ya horn dog.

He grabs my hand to lead me through the

crowd,  and  I  would  be  lying  if  I  said  I  didn’t  get
butterflies.  It’s  like  my  hand  fits  perfectly  in  his.
We make  it to  our  seats and  holy  shit. I  could  lick

the quarterback from here.

“Preston, seriously? This is insane! I can

smell the sweat!”

“You’re welcome… I think?” He looks

grossed out.

“Seriously, this is awesome! Thank you so

much!” I say jumping up and down.

They kick off and we spend the next five

hours yelling, cheering, laughing, booing and
smiling. We win in overtime, beating the Packers.

I hate the Packers. A hatred we both have

in common. We scream and I jump into his arms,
our fists pumping screaming in happiness.

“Oh my gosh, I’m on such a high right

now!”

“I have one more surprise for you, Angel.”

I look at him in confusion, and he puts an

evil smirk on. I give him a ‘what the hell are you up
to?’ look and he laughs.

“Follow me.”

He grabs my hand and we go out the same

exit as everyone, but we go through a door that
security let us in, and I stop in my tracks.

Holy Shit.

My mouth is open wide, and I can’t breathe.

He laughs. He laughs. Cam Newton laughs

at me.

“Holy Hell.”

“Hi, Talia. Nice to meet you. I’d give you a

hug but I’m sweaty.”

“I really, really don’t mind.” I say then I

plow  into  him  and  give  him  a  hug.  He’s  so  tall.  I
look back at Preston and he has a new smile on his
face.  One  I’ve  not  been  blessed  with  yet.  I  can’t
place  what  it  means  yet.  But  he  looks…  happy,
content even.

We all chat for about thirty minutes before

Cam has to leave, and we make our way back to
the car. I can’t speak I’m still in shock. We get into
the car and before we leave, I put my hand on his
to stop him from starting the car. I look him in the
eyes. My blues to his browns.

“Thank you so much, Pres. Seriously. This

has been… a dream today.”

He shrugs, “Pretty sure I’d do anything to

see you smile the way you did today, Angel.”

There it is. The tension. The same thick

tension  as  four  years  ago.  My  heart  is  racing,  and
my  hands  are  clammy.  My  breathing  is  rushed  in
anticipation. My eyes drop to his lips and his do the
same  to  mine.  His  hand  comes  to  my  face  and  he
does that lip lick/bite thing that drives me wild.

He’s slowly leaning in as he says, “I just

need to see…”

And his lips touch mine. We don’t move,

just let our lips reunite, as if they’ve been deployed
and now, they’re home. Our lips part, and then he
follows it with a shorter lingering kiss before resting
his forehead against mine.

“I’ve missed this for so long…”

He’s about to kiss me again, but I put my

hand on his cheek and shake my head in regret.

“I’m sorry, Pres. You don’t know how badly

I want you. Want this. But I just… I can’t.”

“Why? I don’t get it. You know you can tell

me anything, right? Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

I look out of the window and sigh, leaning

back into my seat, laying my head back on the
headrest as he starts our journey home.

“Preston, what I’m about to tell you is very

ugly. It’s the worst of me. I keep it very private. It
scares  me  to  share,  not  only  because  I  don’t  like
talking  about  it,  but  because  I  like  this  playful
dynamic we have between us, and I don’t want you
to  look  at  me  differently.  I  know  it’s  selfish,
because I keep saying this can’t go anywhere, but I
think you’ll understand why if I tell you.” I turn to
look him in the eye, “Think you can handle it?”

His face turns serious, “Talia, if you think

for one minute that what you’re about to tell me
could take away the beauty I see in you, then I’ve
not done enough to show you how I feel about
you.”

I give him a small smile, not letting him

know  how  much  those  words  mean  to  me.  How
much  I  wanted  them.  I  sigh,  and  start  talking,
starting from when I was six, to the day I appeared
in  court  to  testify  against  my  dad,  to  the  countless
hours  of  therapy.  He  gripped  the  wheel  in  anger,
cried  for  me  when  I  cried,  and  gave  me  a  sad  but
proud smile when I told him how I survived. I even

told him about Danny. I was expecting jealousy,
anger or judgment about my relationship with him.
But no. He graced me with the most beautiful
words he could have.

“I’m really glad you had him, Angel.”

◆◆◆

“Thank you.” I look at him with an

appreciative smile, “For not judging. Or making me
feel… I don’t know. Dirty?”

“That’s because you’re not, Angel. You’re

whole, pure. Fucking gold.” Then he scoffs, “I’d
bury anyone who’d say otherwise.”

I give a soft laugh. “So yeah, that’s why I

can’t be with you.”

“Why you won’t let yourself be with me,

you mean.”

“No, I can’t. I-”

“No, Angel. This is all in your head. You’ve

convinced  yourself,  on  some  preconceived  notion
that  Ryland  must’ve  told  you,  that  I’m  too…
dangerous, reckless. No, you’ve not even given me
the  chance  to  show  you  the  kind  of  person  I  am.

The kind of person I’ve fought to be. The kind of
person that would vow to never make you feel less
than treasured. No. You’ve already put me in a
category that I’ve not been in, in years.”

I swallow, taking in his words. The irrational

side of me knows I may have put him in a category
he doesn’t quite belong in, but the fear of relapse is
too great. I can’t live with another addict. I can’t do
it.

Then the other side of me knows what we

could be like. Knows we would shine like a
firework in the night sky. The spark burning hot to
shoot off and explode. Raining down beautiful
colors and love on everything we touch. The magic
of it outweighing any looming danger.

He clears his throat, “Are you even going to

ask my story? Or are you just going to keep your
assumption of me, Talia?”

I can hear the frustration in his voice, but

something tells me it’s not directed at me. He’s
ashamed of his past, and he’s frustrated he even has
to explain that he has one.

He starts before I have the chance to speak,

“I know what it’s like living with an addict. I grew
up with them. Stealing money, anything for a pill.

They lie, cheat, do anything they can to relieve the
pain that comes without the next pill. It wasn’t
even about the high, it was about not feeling. Even
if they had a little boy, desperate for parents to love
him enough to put him before the pills for once.
Desperate for parents to just love him.” He licks his
lip and shakes his head.

“Sports were my outlet. I played every

single sport there was that I could play, year-round.
Football  in  the  Fall,  Basketball  in  the  winter,
Baseball  in  the  spring.  I  made  sure  I  was  busy,
anything  to  not  go  home.  I  was  good,  too.  Damn
good.  I  had  scouts  looking  at  me  my  sophomore
year. Not being cocky, it was just that I made sports
my  life.  I  made  sure  I  had  good  grades  because  I
never wanted to risk not being able to play.”

He takes a deep breath, “My senior year. I

was  quarterback  and  it  was  at  State.  Final  game.
None  of  my  guys  were  open,  but  I  knew  I  needed
to  get  rid  of  the  ball,  and  I  did.  It  was  a  beautiful
throw-turned-touchdown that won us the game. But
I  got  sacked  long  after  the  play.  Broke  my
collarbone.”

We pull into the bakery driveway, but we’re

not done talking. “It ruined me, Talia. Everything
was taken from me that night. Colleges didn’t want
me with a broken collarbone. I was out for the

basketball  season.  By  the  time  baseball  came
around, I was already addicted to narcotics, barely
making  my  grades.  The  detrimental  loss  of  what  I
love, my future, mixed with the physical pain. The
pills dulled it. So, I took my parents’ when I ran out.
Then I didn’t stop taking them. Soon I needed them
to avoid getting sick from withdrawal. Needed it to
function.  I  understood  why  my  parents  loved  the
small white demons more than their son.” He looks
out  the  window,  rubbing  his  jaw,  “One  of  my
buddies  found  out  after  we  graduated  and  got  me
into  a  program.  I’ve  had  two  relapses,  and  they
were  shortly  after  rehab.  I’ve  not  touched  a  pill
since  I  was  twenty,  Talia.  That  doesn’t  mean  the
craving  is  gone,  because  it’s  not.  It’s  not  what  it
was,  but  it  does  hit  occasionally,  I  won’t  lie.  But  I
have  a  sponsor,  and  I  can  identify  what  in  my  life
can be triggering it.”

He turns to look at me. “Look, Angel. I get

it if you can’t handle it. I do. And if you can’t, I’ll
respect  that.  It  sucks,  but  I’ll  respect  it.  You’ve
been  through  so  much  shit  that  no  one,  especially
you, deserves to go through.” He looks at me with a
sad  smile.  “You’re  a  remarkable  woman,  Talia
Daniels. Don’t ever let anyone, even you, question
that.”

He brings his hand to my cheek and I take a

deep sigh and nuzzle into it.

“I’m sorry, Pres.” I lick my lips, emotion

welling through me.

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. You

don’t have to.” He gives me a sad smile. “But if
you ever change your mind, you better tell me the
fucking minute you do it.”

A laugh bubbles out, shaking my head at

how easy it is for him to spin me into a fit of
giggles.

“I will do that.” I say, a faded smile

decorating my face. “Preston?”

“Yeah, Angel?”

“Things don’t have to change. We can

still… hang out, go to football games. Text.
Whatever. I just can’t take it further.”

“I’m not known to back off of something I

want. I still want you. I’ll respect your wishes, but
don’t think I’m not going to try an tempt you every
chance I get.” He ends with a wink and I roll my
eyes at him.

“When do you leave next?”

“Tomorrow morning. I have a huge six-

week audit in Portland, then I’m home for a few
days before I turn around for my next one.”

I nod my head; sad I won’t see him for so

long. He has a great job, traveling around the
country auditing and teaching training camps for
law enforcement departments.

“Travel safe. And thank you, for today. It

was… amazing. I had so much fun.”

“Me too, Angel.”

I go to get out of the car, and I hear him

speak  up.  “Talia?  Everything  you  told  me  today…
All  it  did  was  prove  my  instincts  about  you,  right.
You’re  strong  as  hell,  beautiful,  and  braver  than
anyone I’ve ever met. I’m proud of you for making
it  through  that  and  being  where  you  are  today.
Just… just know that. You have me in your corner.”

“Thanks, Preston.” I say, biting my bottom

lip  in  shyness.  “Have  a  good  trip.”  I  shut  the  door
and  make  my  way  to  my  car.  I  drive  home  in
silence,  death  grip  on  the  wheel.  The  moment  I
make it into my apartment, I fall to the floor and let
the tears fall down my face.

Chapter 18

10 Months Later

August

I have very mixed feelings about my

birthday. The memory of it comes with fear,
anxiety, stress and disgust.

Seventeen years ago, was the first time I

was  sexually  abused.  The  birth  of  an  entirely
different girl. I can’t help but mourn for her. What
she  had  to  endure  for  the  next  two  years,
physically,  and  the  rest  of  her  life,  mentally.
Mackenzie’s  parents  always  did  their  best  to
distract  me,  take  us  out,  do  fun  things.  But  it’s  a
day I’ve never felt right celebrating. It feels dirty.

And that’s exactly what today is. Dirty

thirty.

I cringe, but I feel like my thirties are going

to be monumental for me. I’ve grown, my business
is successfully established. I know who I am, what I
like.

Just one thing is missing.

Him.

Preston texts me often. Teasing, joking,

sending me pictures of wherever he is at that time.
He had a fling for a month or two a while back and
I completely stopped communicating. It hurt too
much to see another girl bask in the affection I so
desperately wanted.

I start my Kitchen aid mixer, making my

own funfetti birthday cake, my favorite. Right
when it’s done mixing, my phone chimes.

Preston: Knock, knock, Angel. ;)

Talia: Who’s there?

Preston: No, doofus. I’m here, open the door.

Talia: NO WAY.

I run to the front of the bakery and see the

God-like figure of a man standing there, waiting for
me. He’s in a cutoff that basically shows his
entirely sculpted core, black shorts and white
sneakers.

Yum.

I open the door and jump into his arms.

“What the hell are you doing here?! You

look great!”

“Please, don’t’ stop the compliments,

Angel. Keep em’ coming.”

I smack his chest and he pulls me to him

again giving me a hug. This is us. It became normal
at some point. I can’t quite pinpoint when it did,
but it’s fun, and funny and light, and everything I
need.

“You compliment yourself enough.”

“Have you seen this face? Hard not too,

Babe.”

I roll my eyes. “I didn’t know you were in

town.”

“Think I’d miss my best girls dirty thirty?

Come on.”

I freeze. “I don’t really like celebrating my

birthday. Or making a big deal of it, I guess.” I
shrug my shoulders, rubbing my tattoo, kicking and

imaginary piece of lint on the ground.

“Nuh-uh. Not anymore.”

I raise my eyebrow in question.

“Nope. Your birthday deserves to be

celebrated.  You  will  not  give  those  bastards
anymore  hold  over  you  than  you  already  have
given  them.”  Then  he  pulls  out  a  box  wrapped  in
black and gold paper.

“You got me a present?!”

A big smile takes over my face. “Hell yeah,

I did. Open it.”

I take it out of his hand and tear open the

paper to a velvet box. I raise my eyebrow at him
and now he’s rolling his eyes at me.

“Just open the damn thing, before I feel

stupid.”

I open it up and it’s a thin silver chain of a

necklace with a small, dainty lock on it.

“This is beautiful. Thank you, Preston.

Really, I love it.”

He gives me a shy smirk, and motions for

me to come there. He takes the box and I turn
around and lift my hair out of the way.

“There was also a key to the lock that came

with it. But I took it off.” He says it so matter-of-
factly.

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Because if anyone gets to have a hold on

you, I want it to be me.”

I turn around immediately and stare into

those  gorgeous  brown  eyes.  He’s  making  this  so
hard  and  I’m  at  my  limits  end  with  saying  no  to
this.  I  grab  the  lock  around  my  neck  and  rub  it,  a
smile growing on my face.

“Pack your shit we have a long drive ahead

of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a surprise. We’re gonna be back hella

late, so let’s go change and go.”

“I uh, kind of own a business.”

“Mac has it covered.”

I give him a suspicious look.

“Ugh, you’re making me ruin it. Okay. Two

words. Pre and Season.”

I jump up and down, screaming in

excitement and book it to the kitchen to grab my
shit so I can go home and change. “I could kiss you
right now, Pres!”

“Damn, please do. I don’t want to wait

another four years.”

I wink at him and let him take me to my

house.  He’s  officially  entered  the  trust  territory  of
knowing where I live. I grab my bag and we make
the trek to go watch the Panthers Preseason game.
I’m  bouncing  in  excitement.  I  threw  on  black  cut
off  jean  shorts,  and  my  Panthers  tank  top.  It’s  still
hot as hell out, so I grab a hair-tie and my shades, a
light jacket, and call it good.

I walk out of my house and he is leaning

against his car, and he’s changed too.

“Did you change out here?”

“Yeah, I almost broke an ankle doing it, too.

You look hot as fuck.”

“Such a charmer.”

“Whatever gets the point across.”

We both chuckle and hop in the car,

stopping  to  grab  snacks  and  drinks,  then  on  the
road  blasting  music.  Keeping  the  tradition  and
blaring DDG, the windows are down and we’re just
having  fun.  I  feel  like  I’m  turning  twenty-one
instead  of  thirty.  Only  Preston  has  the  ability  to
make  me  feel  like  this.  I  look  over  to  him,  resting
my head back.

“Thank you, Pres. Really. Thank you.”

He returns my gaze and gives me the

dreamiest, sweetest smile, pearly whites shining,
before he returns his eyes back to the road. He rubs
his jaw between his thumb and forefingers.

“I’d do anything for you, Angel,” He looks

at me again. “Don’t you know that yet?”

I give him a small smile and shake my head.

Then  Trophies  by  Young  Money  and  Drake  come
on  and  he  turns  it  up,  continuing  our  car  jam
session.  We  get  to  the  game,  sideline  seats  again,
and have an absolute blast. Panthers won and we’re
riding cloud nine for the rest of the night.

This is a birthday for the books.

Chapter 19

6 Months Later

February

“I don’t get why he’s bringing her.”

Mac scoffs at me. “Maybe because she’s his

girlfriend, and it’s his birthday party?” She looks at
me questioningly, “What is your deal? What’s going
on?”

I give her my best exasperating expression

and  she  shakes  her  head  at  me.  “Tali-babes,  you
told  him  no.  You  told  him  there  was  no  chance.
What  do  you  think  he’s  gonna  do,  stay  single
forever?”

“Yeah? If I can’t have him, I don’t want

anyone else to, either. Duh.”

“That, my dear sister, is where you are

wrong. You can have him; you just won’t let
yourself. It’s not only driving you crazy. It’s driving
me crazy too!” She whisper-yells the last part at
me.

“Whatever. Where’s my squish? The only

male I can count on.”

She shakes her head as if I’m being

unreasonable, “Ry should be down with him any
second.” Then right on cue, they come down from
upstairs.

“Tawi! Hi! See my tucks?!”

“I would friggen love to see your trucks,

Squish. Show me!”

He takes his chunky little fingers and wraps

them around mine. I look at this little boy and my
heart just explodes with love.

“You know how much I love you, Squish?”

“Yeah.”

I laugh at his short answer, and then

continue to look and ask all sorts of questions about
all his trucks. After about ten minutes, I hear the
door open. I hear Preston and Ry hug and greet
each other, while Mac greets his girlfriend.

Puke.

I’m not like Mac. I can’t just be nice to

everyone. I have chronic bitch face, especially
when I’m annoyed or frustrated. My face doesn’t
even have to be resting.

I hop up and check myself in the mirror

they  have  in  the  den.  I’m  in  skinny  jeans  and  a
chunky  black  sweater.  My  hair  is  in  a  high  messy
bun  and  I  have  a  cute  headscarf  on.  I  take  a  deep
breath.

Eh.

I pick up my favorite fat baby, and head out

to the living room, where they are all sitting and
talking.

Preston’s gaze snaps to me as soon as he

sees  me,  and  he  freezes.  I  make  eye  contact  for
about 2 seconds and flick my gaze elsewhere. I’ve
seen  him  twice  since  my  birthday  in  August,  and
they were both quick trips. We texted all the time,
until  about  two  months  ago.  When  everything
changed.

I look down at my phone with a smile.

Preston: You should come visit me. When is the

last time you took a vacation?

Talia: In your dreams, sleigh boy.

Preston: No, seriously. Come out here. San

Diego is amazing, you’d love it. You can stay with
me, we can explore, you name it.

Talia: Pres…

My phone rings, it’s him. I pick it up.

“Angel. Come on. It’s been over a year. I

feel like I’ve proven that I’m not what you’re
afraid of. Have I not?

I sigh, “It’s the risk Pres. I just… I’m not

ready yet. I’m sorry…”

He’s quiet on the other end. “Will you ever

be  ready  for  me?  Or  are  you  going  to  string  me
along  for  the  rest  of  your  life?  I  see  the  way  you
look  at  me,  Talia.  I  see  the  way  your  breathing
changes.  I  see  the  glances.  I  see  the  longing,
because  I  know  what  it  looks  like.  Because  I  feel
the same way. I know you want this, just let go and
fly with me, Angel.”

I want to say okay. Say yes. Anything. But I

can’t. I fucking can’t, because the fear of the
unknown cripples me. My throat is thick with pent

up emotion, trying to hold back the tears. My voice
cracks, “I’m sorry, Pres… I jus-”

“Nah, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have pushed. It’s

fine, really. Have a good night, Talia.”

*Click*

I look down at my phone, soaking up what

just happened. I squeeze my phone in anger that I
don’t have the balls to take or do what I want. My
heart dropping as I feel the shift our friendship
just did.

Pathetic.

Only took him a month to get a girlfriend.

And now, here we are. He’s texted once, a short
one. I didn’t respond because I was pissed he had a
girlfriend. I didn’t have a right to be, but I was.
Like I said, I’m not like Mac.

He stands to give me a hug, “Hey, Talia.”

Talia. Not, Angel. That one stung.

I return the awkward hug, “Hey, Happy

Birthday.” We let go and both scratch our heads, an
awkward silence between us and everyone else.
This is so weird.

Blondie taps his leg, “Oh yeah, this is

Laikyn.”

Even her name is annoying me. But I push

through the catty thoughts, smile and extend my
hand. “Hi, Laikyn, nice to meet you.”

“Hi, Talia, you too. I’ve heard a lot about

you.”

My eyebrows fly up at that piece of

information. That’s so damn weird he would talk to
her about me. His eyes go round and he shrugs,
unsure of what to do.

“Me and Squish are gonna check on…

the… food.”

“It’s all done, Tal-” Mac speaks up. Her and

her stupid perfect husband snuggling on the love
seat. I actually love them, but I’m bitter right now.

“Well, we’re gonna double check it.”

I grab Greyson and we head into the

kitchen.  Everything  is  done  and  ready  and  there’s
really nothing I can do. I sneak a peek back into the
living  room  and  Preston  is  sitting  next  to  her,  his
arm  around  her  shoulders.  Everyone’s  laughing  at

something Laikyn said. She really is nice, but she’s
occupying a spot I’ve longed for, for so long.
Preston’s gaze peaks up at me and we speak with
our eyes.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

This could be us.

I know.

I wish she were you.

Me too.

I lick my lips as my eyelids tremble, and I

turn away before I make a fool of myself.

“Okay, go tell mommy everything looks

perfect.”

“Otay, Tawi.” And he smacks a big kiss on

my cheek. Damn, I love that kid. He runs off and I
grip the counter, trying to get myself under control.
This is what I chose, I need to buck up and quit
being a little pansy-ass.

“Angel.”

His damn voice vibrates down my spine,

shaking each nerve on the way down. My breathing
increases, and I know he’s aware of the effect he
has on me.

“Now I’m Angel?” I say as I turn to him

with a lifted brow and crossed arms.

“What do you want me to do exactly,

Talia?” He comes closer, pushing me out of sight, so
no one sees us in the kitchen. Prowling towards me
like a starved animal. Caging me in against the wall.

“Does it kill you to see me with her? To

know  every  time  I  kiss  her,  I  see  you?  Every  time
we  fuck,  it’s  still  you?  Every  damn  thing  I  do,  it’s
always  you?”  He  stalks  closer,  inches  from  my
face.  “Huh?  Does  it  anger  you,  Angel?  Because  it
fucking infuriates me.”

His mouth crashes down on mine. His hands

are  in  my  hair  and  my  hands  are  all  over  him.
Tongues  are  warring  against  each  other  and  he
pushes  me  harder  against  the  wall  of  my  best
friends’  kitchen,  while  his  girlfriend  is  in  the  next
room. What the hell is happening? You know what,
I’ll tell you what’s happening.

Magic. Magic is happening, dammit.

He pulls away abruptly, looking at me

through hooded eyes as he runs his tongue along his
lips, lapping up anything leftover. Then he does his
stupid, sexy smirk and turns around and leaves.

Leaves me a hot mess against the wall.

Mackenzie walks in as he walks out and

when she sees me her eyes go as round as saucers.

“Are you freaking kidding me?!” She

whisper-yells.

“He mauled me! Like the beast that man is!

I couldn’t even react!” I return the whisper yell.

“His girlfriend is here, you floozy!”

A smile grows on my face and I try to bite it

back, but I burst out in laughter. Mac is shocked at
first and then she starts to slowly laugh with me and
soon we are in a complete fit of giggles.

“Go fix your face. You look very…

ravished.”

“Because I was.” I wink at her.

I go into the bathroom and fix my bun, and

any smears on my face. I still feel him on my lips. I

bring my fingers up to touch the remnants that he
left behind. I can’t help but smile. But when I walk
out, my smile fades.

Everyone is in the kitchen getting food.

Preston  and  Laikyn  are  waiting  and  she’s  hugging
him,  her  back  faced  to  me  and  his  eyes  on  mine.
Returning  her  hug,  squeezing  her  tight  as  if  he
didn’t just have his tongue in my mouth.

He’s doing this on purpose. Demonstrating

that that could be us, but I’m the one stopping us
from being happy. And here he is toying with this
innocent girls’ emotions, unaware of what this game
just cost him.

I suddenly hate her less and feel sad for her.

She doesn’t even realize she’s a tool in his arsenal
to prove a point, to me. Which also proves my
intuition, that we can’t be together, right.

I give him a disappointed look and slightly

shake my head, adding a scoff for effect.

Any and all magical feelings have vanished.

Asshole.

◆◆◆

After the emotional rollercoaster that dinner

was, I call it an early night, leaving before everyone
else. I kiss my squish and hug Mac and Ryland. I
turn to Preston and Laikyn, I give her a friendly
hug.

“Nice to meet you.” I smile at her.

“You too! Drive safe!”

I look at Preston, awkward and unsure what

to do. So, I give him a very odd hand wave. “Uh,
Happy Birthday. See ya.”

I cringe so hard when I turn and walk out

the door. Barely keeping it together. Such a dick,
I’m so mad at him right now. I’m about to get into
my car that’s parked next to his. I almost blow it a
kiss because I love his car that much.

“Talia! Wait!”

I groan, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I

say in exasperation as I turn towards him. “What,
Preston?” I say as he runs to me.

“What is your problem?” He asks

incredulously.

“MY problem? Are you serious right now?

You are using that poor girl in there to get back at
me! That literally proves me right on why we can’t
be together! Seriously?!”

“What other way do I get it across to you,

Talia? You. Are. Meant. For. ME.” He says banging
on his chest as he says those last words.

My chin quivers and my heart wars against

my head.

“Preston. I need you in my life. But as a

friend.  It  is  killing  me  to  say  this.  Because  I  want
you  too,  but  I  just  can’t.  I  can’t  take  that  risk.  If
you break me, that will be the end of me. I just… I
can’t.”  I  say  the  next  words  through  my  pleading
cries.  “So,  I  need  you  to  respect  that,  because  I
need you in my fucking life.”

He walks up to me, hands cupping my

cheeks.

“Angel, when will you realize that you’re

the one with the power? If anyone breaks, it would
be you breaking me.” He rubs the apple of my cold
cheeks with his thumb. “No one will ever take up
the space in my heart that you own. It’s yours, Tal.
No matter who I’m with. It’s always yours.”

He leans forward and kisses my forehead,

feeling like a goodbye, lingering there for a few
minutes before letting me go and turning to go back
to the girl he came here with.

My heart, I feel it breaking again.

Piece by piece.

Chapter 20

Four Months Ago

“To Talia!”

I roll my eyes in embarrassment as we all

toast  to  Bread  &  Brewed.  My  baby.  We  won  an
award for the best bakery in Charleston. I’ve never
been  prouder  of  my  bakery  than  I  am  today.  I’ve
stepped back from the bakery quite a bit, mainly as
an  overseer.  I  have  a  manager  and  full  staff,
possibly opening a second location soon. I haven’t
decided  yet,  because  I  love  my  small  nook.  I  love
that it’s only right here, if you want it you have to
come here. It’s my special little spot on the map.

I look at the eyes staring at me across the

table, “I’m so proud of you, Angel.”

I smile back at him, “Thank you. Thank you

for coming too.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Preston broke it off with Laikyn after

dinner  that  night,  so  long  ago.  He  worked  a  lot
more  and  was  rarely  around,  but  he  always  texted
and called. He kept it light and never brought up us
being  together  again.  Nor  has  he  had  another
girlfriend  again.  He  has  been  an  incredible  friend,
and  I  couldn’t  be  luckier  for  the  group  of  people
sitting at this table right now.

“Aunt Tali?”

“Yeah, Squish?”

“Can we bake cupcakes tomorrow?”

“Of course, we can. You’re looking at the

best baker in Charleston, little dude.”

He giggles and claps his hands together. We

have slumber parties every other week and I live
for them. We bake, play dinosaurs, build forts. You
name it, I’ll do it. I’d do anything for him.

I look back up and Preston is still smiling at

me. I blush under his eyes, not used to the look of
fierce pride. But he’s giving it to me, and it’s a good
look on him. When dinner is done and Mac tells me
she’ll drop off Greyson around two pm, I look back
to my last guest of the night and raise an eyebrow.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I tease him.

“Ridge’s.”

I almost spit out my drink, and he chuckles.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m thinking about Ridge’s.” He smirks.

“Preston…” I say in warning.

“You’re the one that asked, Angel.”

“Yeah, well…” I roll my neck around. “It

was a good night, though, huh?”

“The fucking best.”

I smile at him and we both laugh.

“Celebration round? Let’s go. Old times

sake.”

“Pres… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Angel, I never said you had to fuck me in

the parking lot. It’s just a drink, I swear.”

My eyes pop wide open, “Could you be any

louder? Good lord…”

“You asked for it. I NEVER SAID YO-”

I quickly put my hand over his mouth to

shut him up from yelling it across the entire
restaurant. “You’ve officially lost it. Let’s go, I
need to get you out of here, you’re a heathen.”

He just laughs and it makes me laugh too.

Our playful banter is back, and I love it. I love how
easy it is to laugh and joke with him.

We share a ride over to Ridge’s. Hey Mister

by Miss May I is playing through the speakers and
we’re both drumming our fingers along. Gifting
each other small side glances and smiles on the way
over. The parking lot is empty but decides to park
in the back in the same spot as all those years ago. I
raise my eyebrow and he just winks at me. He shuts
off the car, but neither of us move to get out.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The deep

timber of his voice, raising the hair on my arms.

I turn and look at him. “I’m really glad you

came tonight; I don’t get to see you much these
days.”

He runs his hand through the back of his

hair, “I know. I’m actually putting in a request for
less work. I don’t need it like I did when I was

younger. I don’t need the distraction anymore. I
don’t need the money like I did when I was
younger, either.”

“Wow, really?”

He nods his head. “Yep. Thinking I’ll be

away for only a few weeks of the year, rather than
the other way around.”

“That’s great news, Pres.” I smile at him.

Then our eyes meet.

Fuck.

Eyes always say the words our mouths are

too scared to say.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Boom.

We’re on each other, breathing each other

in, clinging to each other like a final lifeline.

“The same… You taste exactly the same.

I’ve craved you for seven years, Talia. Seven.
Years.”

I nod my head, our breathing is heavy, and I

pull away just slightly, spilling my heart. “I’ve tried
creating thousands of recipes to come close to the
way you taste, but nothing is as good as you.” I
relent, “You’re about to win, Pres. I don’t know if I
can keep fighting this.”

His eyes are all over my face, his breathing

increases and he brings my lips back down to his. A
minute later, he pulls his lips from mine, foreheads
resting together.

“Then I’m going to stop this right here.”

I pull back confused, “What?”

“I can wait a little longer, Angel. Why do

you  think  you  can’t  fight  it  anymore?  I  stopped
pushing and started being a friend. I let my actions
talk  instead  of  my  words.  So,  that’s  what  I’ll  do
right  now.  I  won’t  devour  you  the  way  I  want  to,
until you tell me you’re mine.” He cups my cheeks,
rubbing  his  nose  along  the  bridge  of  mine,
“Because  whether  you’ve  figured  it  out  or  not,
that’s what you are. You. Are. Mine.”

He nips my lips one more time and I lick

them immediately.

I take a deep breath, and hug him, soaking

up his embrace. “Thank you, Preston. You don’t

know what that means to me.”

“I’d do anything for you, Angel. I’d pick up

every broken piece that’s too painful for you and
carry each one.” I exhale, letting each word soak
into my skin.

I think love this man.

Chapter 21

Present Day

One Week After Funeral

I roll over and stare at the ceiling. Numb.

My  heart  hurts.  Everything  hurts.  I  have  no  more
tears  left  to  cry.  A  little  girl  that  saw  another  sad
little  girl  and  clung  on.  Like  finding  a  lost  puppy,
always providing an unconditional love. No matter
what  happened,  Mac  was  always  there.  Always.
Didn’t  matter  how  many  times  I  told  her  no,
ignored her, or maybe even snipped at her.

She knew. She knew I needed her even if I

tried pushing her away. And so, she stayed, always
there.

My phone chimes, snapping me out of my

memory.

Preston: Open up, Angel.

A small smile graces my face. It feels

foreign there, ever since Mac found out her cancer
came  back,  smiles  have  been  a  rare  sighting.  We
found  out  the  week  after  my  celebratory  dinner
four  months  ago,  that  it  was  invading  her  whole
body, and her health would drastically decline, and
it  would  decline  fast.  She  chose  to  let  it  take  her
naturally,  wanting  to  feel  as  good  as  she  could  for
as long as possible. Such a fucking warrior.

I don’t bother putting pants on, I’m in a

baggy tee shirt that comes to mid-thigh. I go
through my tiny apartment and open the door. He’s
in sweats and a tee, he looks tired too, but has
breakfast in hand.

I give him a tight smile and open my arm to

let him know to come in. He comes in and sets the
bag down on my counter and makes his way back
over to me, wrapping me in his arms. Trying to soak
up every ounce of sadness and pain I have to offer
him. I wrap my arms around his middle and hold
him back. I don’t know how long we stay there for,
but he doesn’t let go of me until I’m ready.

After a while I pull away, “Thank you for

bringing me food.”

“Of course.”

I pause, “We should eat and then bring

something to Ry. I want to see if he needs anything.
Needs me to take Grey. Something.”

“I tried calling him, but he didn’t answer.

That was my next stop, so I’m glad you said that.”
He lifts one side of his mouth.

I stop him before he turns, lifting my hand

to cup his cheek. “How are you? I know you loved
her too. We all did.”

“I’m okay. Just sucks. She was too good.

Didn’t  deserve  this.  Ryland  doesn’t  deserve  this.
My  heart  just  breaks  for  him.  For  Grey.”  He  rubs
his  hands  up  and  down  his  face.  “It’s  just  messed
up.”

I wrap in him a hug again and we just stay

like that for a bit. I have Kennedy, my manager
heading the bakery for me so I can take some time.
I’d be a goner without her.

We untangle and I get dressed and we head

over to Ry’s. We walk up to the door and knock.
I’m used to just walking in, but it feels… different
now.

Ry opens the door, he looks good

considering, but he looks overwhelmed and tired.
“Hey guys, what are you doing here?”

“Shut up, Ry.” I say, then bring him in for a

hug.  He’s  stiff  at  first,  but  then  his  arms  wrap
around  me,  returning  the  hug  and  I  can  tell  this  is
what  he  needed.  He  needed  his  friends.  I  feel  his
back start to shake and I feel Preston wrap his arms
around  both  of  us.  His  body  rattles  with  sobs,
mourning  the  loss  of  his  wife.  His  best  friend.  The
other half of his soul.

Pres and I don’t let go until he starts to back

away. He wipes his eyes, “Jesus, sorry guys.”

“Don’t apologize. I think we all needed

that.” I say as I, too, wipe the tears from my own
eyes.

“Where’s squish?”

“Still sleeping. It was a rough night last

night, he just kept crying for Mackenzie. It killed
me.” He says as he runs his hand through his hair.

My heart cracks. “Dude, go take a shower,

take a nap. I don’t care, just take care of yourself
for a little bit. We’ll be here when little man wakes
up.” I say rubbing his arm.

I see the tension leave his body and he

looks down at the floor rubbing the back of his

head now.

“Thanks guys. Just… Thank you.”

“Of course, bud.” Preston speaks up.

Ryland turns and heads upstairs and I turn to
Preston.

“I think I just died inside again. That broke

my heart.”

“Me too.” He says, rubbing my back.

I look around the house and see it’s a bit

messy. He’s probably trying to keep as much
normalcy as he can, but he just lost his wife and
now has to take complete care of his son.

“I’m gonna get some stuff out to make

breakfast. Little man loves waffles.” Preston
speaks up.

I smile at him, “That’s a great idea. I’ll tidy

up a bit.”

We break off and I start in the dining room,

working my way into the living room and then the
kitchen.  I  look  and  take  in  every  single  picture  in
this  home.  Her  presence  still  gracing  us.  As  I’m
back  in  the  living  room,  I  spot  one  picture  I’ve

never seen before. I go over and pick it up and it’s
a  picture  of  both  of  us  in  the  bakery  kitchen,  a
mixing  bowl  and  whisk  in  both  of  our  hands  and
both  of  our  heads  are  thrown  back  in  laughter.  I
drag  my  finger  down  the  picture,  trying  to
remember this day or moment. We had so many of
these I can’t pin-point it. And I’m so glad for that.

I hear Greyson squeak down the stairs, I

look at the clock and it’s ten am.

“Hi, you sleepyhead.”

“Hi, Tawi.” He says, dragging his feet over

to  me  then  lifting  his  arms  for  me  to  hold  him.  I
smile  at  his  nickname  for  me.  Sometimes  he
pronounces  the  L,  sometimes  he  uses  a  W.  It’s
adorable.  I  pick  him  up  and  sit  on  the  couch.  He
burrows into me.

“I miss mommy.”

My breath stops as sorrow fills me. “I miss

her too, Squish.”

“Why won’t she come back?”

“Remember what she told you, Baby? We

won’t be able to touch, or hug her… But we will
always be able to talk to her. We may not hear her,

but she will always speak to us in the things around
us.  You  see  your  favorite  butterfly  outside?  That’s
her  telling  you  she  loves  you.  You  really  want  to
play  in  the  rain,  and  it  starts  raining?  That’s  her
playing  with  you.”  I  run  my  fingers  through  his
dirty blonde hair. “You can always talk to her. And
you  can  always  talk  to  your  daddy,  me,  or  Uncle
Pres.”

He nods his head and hugs me. “I love you,

squish.”

“Love you too, Tawi.”

I smile and kiss his head, then Preston walks

in the room. “Little man! Hi, bud.”

Greyson jumps off of my lap and into

Preston’s arms, giving him a big bear hug.

“Oh man, you’re a load! What did you do,

gain twenty pounds?”

Greyson giggles. “No, you got weaker!”

“I got what?!” He teases back and throws

him  on  the  couch  to  tickle  him.  Giggles  fill  the
room  and  you  have  to  smile.  I  look  out  the  corner
of  my  eye  and  see  Ryland  on  the  stairs,  smiling  at
his son, then speaks up.

“Man, something smells good!”

“Hi, daddy! Uncle Pres got weaker again!”

“I believe that.” He says with humor.

“You know what, neither of you are getting

the waffles I made. I’m gonna eat them all!”
Preston teases again.

“Waffles?!?! You’re the stwongest guy

ever! Daddy too!”

“Fine. I guess you can have some waffles.”

“Yay!” And then he darts off to the kitchen.

It’s hard not to smile watching Preston with

him. Then I feel it.

I feel another shift.

It’s like my heart just demolished the wall

I’ve had up my whole life, begging for Preston to
come in and make himself at home. To love me,
and for me to love him. My breathing increases as
emotion is surging through me.

Preston looks up at me before heading to

the kitchen to join Ryland and Greyson. “You

okay?” His brows are drawn together in worry.

I bite my lips together and shake my head.

He comes over to me, thinking it’s

Mackenzie.  And  it  kind  of  is.  I  think  she’s  the
reason  I  feel  like  I’m  able  to  open  myself  up  to
love.  She  weaseled  her  way  inside  and  knocked
down the damn wall since I wouldn’t. I choke out a
laugh.

As Preston tries to wrap me in a hug, I put

my hand on his chest. “I’m yours.” I say looking
back and forth between his eyes. “I’m yours. I
always have been. There was never a single doubt,
Preston.”

His eyes go wide and he grabs my face and

kisses me. Tasting every inch of me that he can,
savoring every delicious drop. We slow and break
our lips away, and his eyes come to mine.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to

hear that, Talia.”

“Seven years?” I tease.

He chuckles, “Yes. Seven years, Smart-ass.”

“You’ll have to get used to that.”

“Done.” He moves the hair out of my face,

and  his  hands  come  down  on  both  sides  of  my
neck,  his  thumb  rubbing  my  jaw.  “I’m  gonna  give
you  every  ounce  of  love,  you’ve  ever  missed  out
on,  Talia  Daniels.”  I  close  my  eyes  and  allow
myself to soak up the love he’s giving me.

He’s putting me back together.

Piece by piece.

………………………………….

We spent the day with Ryland and Grey,

laughing, smiling, reminiscing on the beautiful soul
that  we  miss  so  dearly.  It  was  a  good  day
remembering  Mackenzie,  all  that  she  was,
everything she meant to us. I needed to check in on
the bakery. Preston dropped me off at my house, he
had  to  check  in  on  his  job  as  well,  he  does  some
audit stuff for his guys on the field from home.

He kissed me stupid in the car before I got

out. Feeling giddy on love, and heartbroken over
loss is a strange, confusing emotion. But we both
lost her. Something we can both relate to and help
each other heal over. It’s comforting.

I unlock my doors and head inside. Walking

to my counter to check the mail I put there, but it’s
not there. My eyebrows draw together in confusion.
I remember specifically putting it here. I look
around my apartment, quiet enough to hear a pin
drop. An odd feeling washing over me, making my
hair stand on end.

There it is. On my coffee table. I swear I put

it on the counter, but I shake my head, clearing the
fog. I’ve been so out of it with everything going on,
I have been misplacing things left and right, lately.

I sort through the mail and throw away the

junk,  putting  the  rest  on  the  counter.  I  hop  in  the
shower and wash the day off. After I get around, I
go  to  leave  and  I  lock  all  of  my  locks  and  triple
check them, and then head to the bakery. It closed
a  long  time  ago,  so  I  go  in  through  the  back  and
turn on the kitchen lights, on my way to my office.
I turn on Of Monsters and Men, something chill to
relax  me.  I  work  on  the  schedule,  answer  emails,
catch up on things to do and get checks around for
bills to mail out tomorrow.

After an hour or so of office work, I head

into the kitchen and get started on inventory. I take
a list of things we need to restock and switch out
ingredients that need it. Make sure all dishes are

washed and put away properly.

For the first time in years, I don’t feel like

baking. At least not alone. I take out my phone and
make a call, he answers on the first ring.

“Angel.”

“Hey. I’m done with the boring work stuff.

Want to come watch me bake?”

“Hell yeah. Back or front?”

“Kinky.”

“Don’t tempt me, Baby.”

I giggle, “The back door, text me when

you’re here.”

“Will do, see you soon.”

“Okay, drive safe.”

I smile at my phone as I hang up and drag

my thumb over my background. It’s me and Mac,
giving each other a big bear hug, cheeks smooshed
together, the biggest smiles decorating our face.

“Love you, Big Mac.” I whisper, closing my

eyes, feeling her around me right now. I feel a grin

on my face, and I get out my ingredients and blank
recipe cards and turn on Back That Ass Up by
Juvenile. Pres texts me to let him in, and I do. He
starts laughing when he hears what’s playing.

“Is this what I’ve been missing out on?!”

I nod to him with a big smile. “In the mood

for some cheesecake?”

“Is that a trick question? Of course, I am.”

He rubs his hands together in excitement. “What
can I do?”

“You want to help?”

“Hell yeah. I’ll be your new protege.” He

winks and I giggle.

“Deal, but plug your football game playlist

in. We’re doing it Tali-babes and Big Mac style
tonight.”

“Now we’re talking.” He connects his

phone  and  Pills  &  Automobiles  by  Chris  Brown
starts playing. We crank it up and I tell him what he
can  start  doing.  We  take  numerous  dance  breaks
and laugh. I tell him stories about Mac and I in the
kitchen. He listens so intently, keen on every word I
say.  We  put  the  cheesecakes  in  the  fridge  and

decide to order take out. It’s 9:30 pm and we just
had pizza delivered and thank God this man likes
pizza. We’re both sitting on the counter, eating it by
the slice.

“Do you see your parents?”

“Nah. Don’t know where they are, honestly.

Don’t care to know. I’ve built a successful life
without them. They didn’t care anyways.”

I nod my head. “Sawyer is still in prison. I

hate that he’s even alive honestly.”

“Me too. I’d kill the bastard if I ever get a

chance.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t waste your breath.

He’s  in  there  till  he  dies.”  I  hop  down  off  the
counter to wash my hands. “They ended up finding
embezzlement  and  tons  of  fraud  charges  on  top  of
child  abuse,  endangerment,  drugs,  you  name  it.”  I
look  at  him,  “I  was  lucky  to  have  the  judge  we
did.”

I return and we stare at each other for the

longest time, neither of us looking away.

“Thank you for being here, Preston.

Whenever I’ve needed you, you were there. Even

before Mac died, you were always there.”

He lifts his lips, “Nowhere else I’d rather

be.”

He hops off the counter and slowly steps in

front of me, pushing my back into the fridge.

“Put your hands in my hair, Angel.”

Hell yes. He always knows what I need.

And I need this.

He brings his lips to mine and my hands go

to his hair. He ravishes my mouth, hungry for more.

“Wrap your legs around me, baby.” He lifts

me and I do just that. “Don’t make a sound, or I’ll
stop.”  I  nod  my  head  in  understanding.  I’m  not
making a damn sound. His mouth travels down my
jaw,  to  right  under  my  ear.  My  mouth  falls  open,
and  I’m  trying  my  best  to  not  make  a  noise,  but
having  him  like  this,  so  unfiltered  and  free  is
making it a challenge.

A very welcome one.

He turns and sets me on the counter,

swiping all the bowls out of the way. I laugh and he
has a big smile on his face. He grabs my jaw and

kisses  me  hard.  Laughs  are  gone  and  the  match  is
lit. He  pushes me  on  my back,  fire  in his  eyes.  He
slowly  drags  his  hands  from  my  knees  up  to  the
band  of  my  jeans,  undoing  them  at  the  top.  He
drags  them  down  my  legs,  his  touch  light  as  a
feather. Once they are off, he lifts under my knees
to  plant  my  feet  on  the  table.  Black  thong  still  in
place, but I’m wide open to him and he looks like a
man  starved,  and  I’m  his  dinner.  My  breathing  is
quick, chest rising up and down.

“You’re so beautiful.”

I’m about to speak, but he puts his finger

over his mouth, “Ah-ah. No noise, Angel. I want to
see how well you listen.”

He wants to torture me. If he’s going to do

what I think he’s going to do, it’s torture.

I nod my head in understanding as he hooks

his fingers in the sides of my thong and drags them
down my legs. He throws them behind him, landing
on the other small kitchen counter.

OSHA’s gonna shut me down.

Worth it.

I’m watching him stare at me, waiting for

him to do something. I’m dying here. Then he licks
his lips. Licks his fucking lips. I have to do
everything in me not to come right then and there.
His hands slide up my body to my eyes. Those dark
hooded eyes with an evil smirk.

“Dessert’s ready, Baby.”

And then he covers me with his mouth. My

back arches off the counter, the heat of his tongue
sending every nerve in my body out of control.

“Holy shit, you taste like a birthday cake

everywhere.”

I silently chuckle, then he gets back to work

and he has me conquered in what feels like a matter
of minutes. My chest is heaving up and down, he
stands up straight, a knowing and proud smirk
shining on his face and he wipes his mouth.

He goes to turn around, and I stop him.

“What are you doing?”

“Grabbing your clothes…”

“Preston, I swear. If you aren’t inside of me

in the next thirty seconds, you’ll never have cake
again.”

His eyes narrow, “Did you just tell me what

to do?”

Now I’m smirking, “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“I’ll allow it this time.” Then he whips off

his shirt and the heavens have shined down upon
me.

Close your eyes, Mac.

“Ready, Angel?”

“God, yes.”

He gives me his eyes and doesn’t let me

close mine the entire time.

Let’s just say we spent an hour bleaching

the kitchen.

Worth it.

Chapter 22

Today is hard and I haven’t opened my eyes

yet.  My  chest  hurts.  All  I  want  to  do  is  call  Mac
and  give  her  a  hard  time,  or  make  fun  of  her,  or
hear  her  make  fun  of  me.  I  text  Kennedy,  letting
her know I might be in a bit late today. She replies
right away.

Kennedy: No problem. Take all the time you

need.

I smile at the text, but only for a second.

My  mood  snapping  me  out  of  anything  remotely
happy.  I  put  on  a  sulking  playlist,  starting  off  with
Videotape  by  Radiohead.  I  stand  in  my  small
bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I remove
my  sleepshirt,  then  my  bra,  followed  by  my
underwear.

And I stand there. Looking at my body in

the  mirror.  Taking  in  each  piece  of  art  covering
each piece  of scar.  I  turn my  back  and look  at  my
wings. Her wings. I turn back around. Watching as
tears  force  their  way  out.  And  I  cry.  I  cry  for  her,
for Ryland, for Greyson, for Preston.

For me.

I turn to get in the shower and put the water

as hot as I can handle it. Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl
Jam plays through my speakers. I let the water
wash over me, scalding hot. I hold it back as long as
I can, but as soon as I slide down the shower wall,
balled up on the floor. I break, again.

Piece by piece.

Death has a way of stealing your breath in

the smallest of moments. The initial shock and blow
is devastating, then the day of the funeral in one
word is… catastrophic.

But it’s the day after.

The days after the funeral, everyone leaves

and goes back to their normal day to day lives. But
here you are. Expected to pick up the pieces and
move on like nothing ever happened, like they were
never here. You go to an empty home with an
empty heart, left to repair the monumental damage

that just played havoc with your life. No more calls,
no more texts, nothing.

And here I am, sitting on the floor of my

shower, breaking down, not a soul in sight.

I can almost hear Mac. “Get off the floor,

Tali-babes. No tears today, babe.”

I soak up the comfort, like salve to a

wound. I take a deep breath, stand up and wash it
away. I get out of the shower, dress in comfy
clothes and throw my hair up.

It’s a cleaning day.

I switch my playlist and Like A Stone by

Audioslave  starts  playing,  and  I  start  cleaning.  My
apartment is small, so it won’t take long, but I plan
on  reorganizing  my  kitchen.  I  start  in  my  room,
then  move  to  my  bathroom.  After  that  I  straighten
up  my  already  clean-living  room  and  then  my
kitchen. I take out every pot, pan and baking sheet
and clean. I put them back in a specific order, and
then  do  the  same  with  every  plate,  cup,  fork  or
spoon.  You  name  it,  it’s  in  its  proper  spot.  Once  I
do  the  same  thing  with  my  fridge,  I  decide  to  text
Preston, so I grab my phone and see he texted me
half an hour ago.

Preston: Good morning, Angel.

Talia: Hey you. Sorry, it was a bad morning. So,

I’ve been taking it out on my house by cleaning.

Preston: What piece can I carry?

I smile at that, thinking back to his promise

he made me.

Talia: Lunch?

Preston: I’ll be there in ten. x

I laugh at the x he put in the text, shaking

my head. I throw on some shorts and a Black
Sabbath cut off and call it good. I look around my
crisp clean apartment, wishing Mac was here to
mess it up.

Deep breath.

I grab my phone, wallet and keys and lock

all my locks, triple checking them.

Right when I walk out of my building,

Preston pulls up. He puts his beautiful car in park
and hops out, running around to wrap me in a hug.

“Hi, Angel.” He says pressing his lips into

my hair.

“Hey, you.”

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You do, too.” I say with a

small smile.

“I knew you loved this face.”

I roll my eyes at him, and he opens my door

to  hop  in.  We  make  our  way  to  a  small  diner
outside  of  town  and  get  burgers.  Once  we’re  done
eating,  we  start  to  head  back  to  town,  but  Preston
takes a right turn a little too soon.

“Where are we going?”

“To see our girl.”

I close my eyes, grab his hand and squeeze.

He squeezes back, keeping hold of my hand with a
steady pressure that’s holding me together more
than he knows.

We get out of the car and make our way

over to Mac’s headstone. There are flowers and
toys, a physical sign of Grey and Ryland being
here. I take a picture and send it to Ry.

Talia: Our girl looks good.

Ryland: She’s beautiful. Kiss her for me.

Talia: Always.

Talia: Kiss that baby for me.

Ryland: Always.

I put my phone back in my pocket and

Preston and I take a seat on the grass, letting the
humid summer day take hold of us. Just sitting in
the only physical presence of our girl, that we have
now.

I kiss my hand and touch the headstone,

then repeat the gesture. One from me, one from Ry.

“Love you, bitch.” I choke out with a small

laugh.

Preston chuckles. I stand up and he wraps

me in his embrace yet again.

“Thank you for this. For knowing I needed

this.”

“Anything, Talia. I’d do anything.”

My eyes move back and forth between his,

the words on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them
back and give him a small, sweet kiss instead.

“Want to binge watch The Office with me?”

“Hell yeah. Let’s go.” He throws his arm

over  my  shoulder  and  we  head  to  the  car.  Seeing
her  felt  good  today.  I  needed  it.  We’re  in  the  car
and Send the Pain Below by Chevelle comes on. I
love  this  song.  I  love  Chevelle.  The  band  and  the
car.

After we grab some take-out, we pull up to

my house and I unlock all of my locks. We walk in
and I set my stuff on the counter.

“Do you want something to drink? I made

sun tea the other day, it’s the best and only way to
make iced tea.”

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

I smile and open my double cupboards and

freeze.

One of my cups is missing. I know this

because I just cleaned and organized like a crazy
OCD person today, lining everything up perfectly. I

slowly turn, taking survey of my kitchen and see it.

One of the cups is in my sink.

Someone’s been in my house.

Hair on the back of my neck is raised. My

breathing increases rapidly, and my hands start
shaking. I start pacing and run to my door,
slamming it shut, locking and unlocking every lock.

Lock, unlock, lock, unlock, lock.

“Angel?”

I don’t say anything, I can’t. Something is

fucking with me. Someone. I finally see Preston in
front of me, he’s holding my shoulders slightly
shaking me.

“Talia, what the hell is going on? What’s

wrong?”

“Some… someone’s been here.”

“What do you mean, Baby? What do you

mean someone’s been here?”

“I mean someone was in my fucking

apartment. I cleaned everything this morning and
lined everything perfectly. When I went to get

drinks a cup was missing and it’s in the sink.”

I shake my head realizing how crazy I

sound.

“I swear I didn’t get a drink, Pres. I

swear…”

“I believe you, Angel. Just stay here I’m

going to check the place, okay?”

I nod my head and wait in the kitchen and

Preston looks in every single nook and cranny in
my apartment. He comes back itching his head.

“I didn’t see a single thing, Angel.”

I nod slowly, taking myself back through my

steps this morning. I’m sure I didn’t have a drink…
did I?

I slide my hands into my hair, “Fuck, am I

imagining this?”

“You had a hard morning. Give yourself a

little more rope. Do you want me to stay over? You
can come to my house? Whatever makes you
comfortable.”

I take a deep breath; I feel it though.

Something is off.

“You don’t mind staying?”

“Trust me. I don’t mind at all.” He says with

a gleam in his eyes, grabbing me by the hips, pulling
me to him.

The best distraction I could ask for.

Chapter 23

Mackenzie was with me the entire day

today.  It  almost  felt…  healing.  The  bakery  was
slammed  today,  but  it  was  so  good.  Everyone  that
walked  in,  walked  out  with  a  smile.  Everything
turned  out  great,  it  just  felt  like  she  was  actually
here adding her touch to everything.

Preston is going over his schedule today,

figuring out when he has to go out of town for the
rest of the year. He should only have one or two
more trips, and then he’s switching positions for no
more traveling. He said being here with Ry, Grey
and I is more important than anything.

I get in my car and Private Fears in Public

Places by  Front  Porch  Step  comes  on  and  it’s  like
one  big  fat  realization  flashes  before  my  eyes.  I
love Preston Taylor, and it’s hitting me like a brick
wall.  A  hurricane  on  its  destructive  path,  nothing
and no one can stop it. That’s exactly how it hit me.
All at once.

Talia: Hey, you :) Hope you had a good day.

The bakery was amazing today. On my way home.
xo

Preston: That’s great, Angel. Today was good.

Just wrapping up work soon.

Talia: Call me when you’re done :)

Preston: Of course.

I get home and grab the mail out of my box

and  head  to  my  apartment.  I’m  sorting  through
them, and one envelope catches my eye. It’s sealed
but  completely  blank.  Not  even  my  name  is
addressed  on  it.  My  eyebrows  draw  together  in
confusion and open the envelope. A blank piece of
paper is inside of it. Who would put a blank paper
and a blank envelope in my box? I look around me,
feeling eyes on me. Fuck, I’m paranoid.

I hurry and unlock my door and then lock

each one, checking them. I shake off the weird
feeling and change into some leggings and a baggy
shirt. It’s five pm and decide to make some dinner.
I turn on Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton and
then get out my Instant Pot and throw some frozen

chicken breast in there with everything I need for
chicken tacos. Easy and quick.

I sit down with my food thirty minutes later

with my favorite book, music in the background
comforting me. My phone chimes a few minutes
later.

Preston: Open up, Angel. I brought you

donuts.

I hop up and run to my door, opening it up

as quick as I can.

“No way.”

“Had to finish the day the way you and

Mac would’ve.” He wiggles his eyebrows. I laugh
and jump into his arms, and he kisses my hair as he
walks into my apartment, me clinging to his tall
frame like a monkey.

“I made chicken tacos. Want some?”

“Does it rain in Seattle?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Always.” I smile and hop down. I grab a

plate and make him like, five stuffed tacos. The

man can eat. I sit back down next to him and we
spend our night cuddled up on the couch, binge
watching Netflix.

I doze off and I wake up to Preston carrying

me to my bedroom. He lays me down and turns to
leave.

“Where are you going?”

“I was gonna head home.” He says, running

his fingers through my hair.

“Why aren’t you staying?”

“I wasn’t sure…”

“You can always stay.” I roll to my back to

get a better look at him. He’s sitting on the side of
my bed, leaning over me with a content smile.

“Pres?”

“Yeah, Angel?”

“I love you.” I say, just above a whisper. He

closes his eyes, trying to keep this moment in his
memory.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I laid

eyes on you again, three years ago. It has always

been  you.  Only  you.”  His  thumb  rubs  my  cheek,
leaning  closer  to  my  face.  “It  was  like  coming
home.  An  aching  chest  and  a  sick  stomach,  from
missing  a  place  you’ve  longed  for  your  whole  life.
And  there  you  were,  standing  in  front  of  me,  so
close, but still out of reach. But I knew you were it,
so  I  waited.  I  waited  three  years,  but  I  would’ve
waited hundreds for you to come home, too.”

That’s where I am with him.

Home.

Chapter 24

We’re on our way to Ryland’s, to pick up

Greyson, I’m taking him out for a day of fun. I can
tell  Ryland  needs  a  little  time  to  grieve,  Preston  is
gonna stay with him. He’s done phenomenal trying
to  keep  Grey’s  schedule  as  regular  as  possible
without  Mac.  But  it’s  taking  a  toll.  He’s  tired,
drained and heartbroken. He needs some time with
Preston to just… be.

We pull up and Grey is already outside with

Ry. When he sees us, he starts jumping up and
down, waving his little arms in the air. It puts a big
smile on my face, I love this kid.

“Hi, Squish!”

“Hi, Aunt Tali! I’m ready! Let’s go!” He

starts booking it to my car.

I laugh, “Whoa there, partner. Let’s back up

a bit. I want to say hi to your dad, and you need to

say bye to him.”

He giggles, “Oops! I fowgot.” He says with

little chipmunk fingers.

Preston is already up on the porch sitting

with Ry, beers in hand.

“Bye, Daddy. I wuv you.” He says as he

gives his dad a big hug and kiss.

“Love you too, bud. Be good for Aunt

Talia, right?”

He gives his dad a big nod, “Right!” Then

he moves to Preston.

“Hi, Uncle Preston!” He gives him a big

hug, “Bye, Uncle Preston.”

“Bye, buddy. Have fun!”

I grab his hand and head back to my car. I

get him all settled in his car seat and we head off to
the  city.  Our  first  stop  is  to  get  some  food.  After
that  we  head  to  the  Children’s  Museum  and  I’ve
not seen such a big smile on his face in a long, long
time. He’s running, laughing, playing; you name it. I
love  seeing  him  like  this.  Not  weighed  down  by
what life has given him at such a young age.

When we are done at the museum, he

wanted to go for a walk downtown. I grab his hand
and make our way to look at all the shops. Then we
grab a hot dog and stop by the park.

“You having fun, Squish?”

“Oh yeah! Today is awesome!”

“Good. I’m glad. It’s good to see you so

giggly.”

He giggles again and I boop his nose.

“Auntie Tawi?”

“Yeah, Baby?”

“Daddy is sad.”

“Yeah, he is, buddy. But you know what?”

“What?”

“I know this for a fact, so listen good. You

make your daddy, so so happy. The happiest he can
be. He just misses mommy a lot right now. But you
always make him happy.”

“Hey! Dat’s what he says!”

“See! I told you! It’s those cute, chubby

cheeks of yours!” I say, tickling him, his laughter
filling the air.

“Mommy says she loves you and daddy, a

lot.”

“She told you that?”

“Yep! She told me yesterday!”

“She told you yesterday, huh? Where at?”

“In my dreams. She told me how much she

loves me and you, Daddy and Uncle Preston. And
that she misses us bunches, too!”

I feel the tears fighting their way forward,

but I hold them back. “Thank you, for telling me
that, Bud. I needed it. I miss mommy, too. When
you see her in your dreams again, will you tell her
for me?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Thanks, Dude. You ready to go home and

see Daddy and Uncle Preston?”

“Yeah!”

We make our way back to the car to go

back to his house. We pull up and the guys aren’t in
sight. I get Grey out and we make our way in the
house.

“We’re back!” I yell, but I don’t hear

anything.  “Go  put  your  stuff  away  and  then  we’ll
go see if we can find your dad and Uncle Pres.” He
runs  off,  only  to  come  back  downstairs  a  moment
later,  grabbing  my  hand.  We  walk  out  to  the
backyard,  and  I  hear  music  coming  from  the  pole
barn. We make our way out there, and when I walk
in, my eyes go wide.

“What is that?!”

“Oh, hey guys! Did you have fun, Bud?”

“I had a bwast, Daddy!” He says jumping

into his dads’ arms. But my eyes are still on the
motorcycle that is sitting in the middle of this room,
that Ry and Pres are working on.

For the record, those two men working on a

bike together?

Wow. What a sight.

“Ry, where did you get this?”

“I bought it.” He shrugs.

“You don’t take Grey on it, do you?”

He chuckles, “Nah. This is for me. I can’t

even ride it yet. Gotta fix it up. It keeps me
occupied; it helps. A lot. Grey’s too little,
anyways.”

I nod my head in understanding. “I didn’t

even know you could fix a bike. I better be getting
a ride when it’s ready.” I wiggle my eyebrows.

He laughs, “I didn’t know I could fix them

either. I’m just kind of guessing right now.”

I love bikes. Classic cars and bikes. Makes

me shiver.

Pres speaks up to Ry, “I want a ride too.

But I’ll take it on my own. I’m not riding bitch with
you.”

“Oh, now that, I would pay very good

money to see.” I say, my eyes growing in wonder.

We all laugh and decide to grill out. Our

own little family, minus one. Sitting at the table,
laughing, telling more stories of my beautiful best
friend. Shedding tears and healing our hearts.

Together.

I love these people.

◆◆◆

We get back to my place, and Preston just

drops me off. I told him I just needed a night to
myself. And what I love even more about him? He
doesn’t get upset or offended that I need my own
space occasionally. He gets it. I lean over and give
him a lingering kiss.

“I love you.”

“I love you, Angel.”

I smile against his lips, and give him another

small kiss, then pull away and head inside my
building. I turn back just before I walk in and blow
him a kiss.

He catches it and puts it in his mouth,

making  me  laugh  and  shake  my  head.  I  check  my
mail  on  the  way  in,  grabbing  bills.  I  find  another
blank  envelope.  My  eyebrows  draw  together,  a
haunting  feeling  snaking  down  my  spine.  I  open  it
up,  and  it’s  another  blank  letter.  Last  time  I  was
thinking it was just a mistake, but a second time the

next  day…  My  paranoia  spikes  up.  I  look  around
me, seeing no one, but feeling eyes on me all at the
same time. I rip up the letter and throw it away and
make  my  way  to  my  apartment.  I  unlock  it  and
hurry  in,  locking  and  checking  my  locks  on  my
door. I still feel a weight on my shoulders, knowing
something isn’t right.  I take a deep breath and look
around my place, everything seems fine.

I set my stuff down and grab a knife out of

the kitchen to check. The silence is deafening, yet
my heartbeat is sounding like a siren. I walk down
my small hall; my bedroom is clear. I open the
bathroom and turn on the light.

I drop my knife.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t fucking breathe.

I start hyperventilating as I take in what’s

before me. It’s trashed, with lipstick on the mirror.

SOON.

I grab the knife and run back to the kitchen,

grab my shit and head to the car. Once I get in my
car, I check the backseat, and no one is there. I
lock the doors, grab my phone and call Preston,

tears streaming down my face.

“Miss me already, Angel?”

“Pres? I’m on my way over. Someone was

at my apartment. Someone was there. Oh God, it’s
happening.”

“Baby, what happened? Where are you?

Are you safe?”

“I’m driving right now. I bolted. Pres,

someone is watching me. Someone broke in my
fucking house.”

“Talia, I need you to be calm while you

drive. I can’t have you getting in a car wreck on
your way over here. Take a deep breath, Angel.”

I take one, trying to slow my racing heart.

“The  last  couple  weeks,  I’ve  been  getting  weird
feelings. Just… off. I don’t know how to explain it.
There was that cup thing, and other random things
ending  up  in  different  places  making  me  think  I
keep  losing  or  misplacing  them.  Then  the  last  two
days  I’ve  gotten  a  sealed  blank  envelope  with  a
blank  paper  inside.  Nothing  on  it.  I  didn’t  think
anything of it at first, but I got another one today. I
felt it, Pres. Tonight, I felt someone. I fucking knew
it. I went inside and grabbed a knife to look around

my apartment. Everything was fine, but when I
checked my bathroom it was trashed, and someone
wrote ‘SOON’ with my lipstick on the mirror.” I
choke out a cry. “Fuck, Pres! I can’t deal with this
shit.”

I hear him take a deep breath. “Where are

you, Angel?”

“I just pulled in.”

“I’m coming out.”

I get out of my car and he runs out his door,

racing to me and wrapping me in his arms. His heart
is beating rapidly, and he grabs my face, kissing me.
Wiping my tears with his thumbs.

“You’re safe with me. Okay?”

I nod and exhale, resting my head on his

chest. I hear him dial a number.

“Yeah, I need to report a break-in.” I look

up at him, of course he’s calling it in. He knows
what to do in these types of situations. I rub my
temples.

Who the hell would do this? It has to be

Sawyer, somehow… But why now? Why at all?

What does ‘soon’ even mean?

“Angel, we need to go back. I’m coming

with you, so you’ll be completely safe. They need
to file a report, take pictures. Bag any evidence, if
possible. But I want you to pack a bag. You’re
staying with me.”

I nod my head again. Not arguing. To be

honest,  I  have  absolutely  no  desire  to  be  alone.
What  if  someone  were  in  my  apartment?  I
completely froze up and forgot all my training. The
whole  reason  I  took  self-defense,  completely  flew
out the window.

Damn, none of this makes sense. I can’t

stop wracking through my mind, as we drive back
to my apartment. “I don’t understand what’s going
on, Preston. Who would do this?”

He licks his lips and shakes his head,

holding my hand tightly, “I don’t know. But we’ll
find out. I promise.” He says, looking me in the
eyes.

We get to the apartment and the police pull

up  at  the  same  time  we  do.  I  tell  them  in  detail,
everything.  The  cup  incident,  the  envelopes,  little
things here and there that seem like they keep being
moved,  feeling  like  I’m  being  watched.  I  disclosed

my past, that I was attacked, but he died that night.
That  Sawyer  is  in  prison.  Other  than  that,  I  truly
don’t know who would do this. I don’t talk to many
people.  I  don’t  have  any  enemies.  It’s  not  adding
up.  They  write  everything  down  and  take  pictures
of  my  bathroom.  Taking  my  lipstick  to  look  for
fingerprints. Once all done, they tell me they will be
in  touch  if  they  find  anything,  and  if  anything
remotely  suspicious  happens,  to  call  them.  I  thank
them,  pack  a  bag,  and  get  the  hell  out  of  there.
Preston takes my hand, giving me the support and a
sense of protection that I’m not used to. Welcome,
but unusual.

I look out the window at the passing

streetlights, giving the night a warm dim light. I
knew I was right. I knew that something was
coming.

Something is coming.

Chapter 25

It has been three days since I’ve been to my

apartment. I was going to go back last night, but
Preston said absolutely not. Then I said, I can’t just
stay here forever. Then he said why not? Then I
said, WHAT?!

Yeah. It was weird.

What was weirder? The idea of it didn’t

scare me at all. It felt… right. But we both kind of
did a nervous chuckle, then changed the subject.
It’s not like I can exactly bring it up again. He
would have to. Hopefully.

I’ve been in the kitchen all day today.

Baking,  restocking  and  inventory.  It  has  been  an
insanely  long  day,  and  I  want  to  try  and  hit  BJJ
tonight. At four, I lock up and head to Preston’s to
grab my gym clothes. He is at his company’s main
office,  sorting  through  some  issue.  I  leave  him  a
note  that  I’ll  grab  us  takeout  on  my  way  home.  I

hop  in  my  car  and  head  to  my  gym.  It  was  a
grueling  sixty  minutes.  My  muscles  are  sore,  my
instincts are back, and I feel… empowered. I don’t
know,  but  there  is  something  to  be  said  for
slamming  grown  men  down  and  pinning  them  into
submission.

10/10 highly recommend.

After class, I grab my things, head to my car

and grab our Chinese. I say hi to the owner, she is
the  sweetest  lady  I’ve  ever  met.  They  insisted  on
making  a  fresh  batch  of  my  favorite  chicken,  and
Preston  texted  that  he  is  just  now  leaving,  so  I
decided to wait for it. Ten minutes later, Chinese in
hand, I head to my car.

I make it to my door to get in, and freeze.

The food drops. My heart drops. My breathing
stops. My hands shake. My whole world has just
came crashing down with one small sticky note.

‘SWEETHEART…’

No. No. I look around me, grabbing my

phone out of my pocket as fast as I can, calling the
police. This one went way too fucking far. I ring
through to the cop that I met the first time, telling
me to call him if anything else happens.

“Hi, Miss Daniels?”

“Hi, um, something has happened again.”

“Are you in danger?”

“Um, I don’t know. I don’t think so… I’m

back inside the restaurant. But there was a note on
my  door,  it  said  Sweetheart.  And  while  that  may
seem  insignificant,  it  is  anything  but.  That’s  what
Damon  called  me,  and  everyone  in  my  life  knows
not  to  call  me  that.  It  has  to  be  Sawyer  somehow.
No  one  else  would  know  that  that  is  a  trigger  for
me.” I say completely frantic. “I just… somethings
not right.”

“Miss Daniels, stay in the restaurant and I’ll

be there in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” I hang up and call Preston, he

answers on the first ring.

“Preston, it happened again.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on?” He

asks, completely in a worry.

“I was getting food and I came out, there

was a sticky note that said Sweetheart on my
driver’s side window.” I let out a pent-up breath.

“Who would do this? Why would someone do this,
Preston?” The fear in my body feels like its only
job right now is to suffocate me. I’m trying to keep
calm, but this is fucked up.

“Do not move, Angel. I’m on my way. Did

you already call the police?”

“Yeah, they are on their way right now.”

“Good girl. I’m on my way, I’ll be there in a

minute. Stay inside, do not go outside, got me?”

“Yeah. I won’t move.”

“I love you, Talia.”

“I love you, too.” I hang up, on edge.

Whoever it was, followed me. Because I know that
note wasn’t there after class. I sit in the restaurant,
shaking. Fear and anxiety seizing me, gripping its
wiry hands around my neck. I know one thing for
sure.

Sawyer is getting a fucking visit.

◆◆◆

I open my eyes, and for once, I’m not

scared or anxious.

I’m pissed. It’s like the Talia-attitude I had

before Mac died has returned. I’d like to think she’s
giving me some of my fire for today.

I look up to my ceiling and whisper to her,

“Thanks, Babe.”

Preston rolls over, “What, Angel?” He asks

sleepily.

I smile and give him a kiss, “Nothing. I’m

gonna make some breakfast for us.”

He mumbles something and burrows himself

back under the covers. I just shake my head and
chuckle at him. I stand up and take a deep breath,
making my way to the kitchen to start breakfast.

I have to figure this out. There is no one on

this Earth, besides Sawyer, who would know the
meaning behind this. But why? Why now, after all
these years? None of this makes sense. It has to be
him; I have no other explanation for any of it.

But why?

I shake my head, turning up Georgia by

Vance Joy, trying to distract myself. Preston comes

out and sits at the table, just in time. I set down our
plates, and just as I go to sit next to him, he snakes
his arm around my waist, pulling me into his lap.

“Thank you for breakfast.” He says into the

crook of my neck, peppering it with kisses. I giggle
and squirm because it tickles, before grabbing his
face to kiss his lips.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for being such a

good host to my sorry ass.”

He stops and looks me dead in the eye. “I

told you I want you here, Talia. For good. I meant
every word.”

I rub the daisy on my arm, “Yeah, I wasn’t

sure if that was a joke or not. And it’s a weird thing
to bring up again.”

“I know, I did that on purpose.”

“Why the hell would you do that? It’s been

nagging at me like a freaking parasite.”

He gives me a shiny smile, “Because I knew

you’d be apprehensive asking you straight out. So, I
hinted at it and let you work it out in your head,
before I brought it up again.”

He knows me. I cock my head to the side

and give him a small, but thankful smile.

“So, Angel, what do you say? Move in with

me.”

I take a deep breath, looking down at my

daisy, making him sweat it out a bit. Then a grin
graces my lips and I look up, “I would love to.”

He smacks my ass and kisses me stupid.

“You think that was funny, Angel?” He bites my lip
as I laugh.

“I mean, the look on your face made it

worth it.”

“Such a little shit.”

I kiss him again and give him my eyes,

“Thank you. For everything, Pres. You don’t know
what it means to me. For taking me today, being
there for me. Loving me. Just… Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, Angel. Loving you is

what I was meant to do.”

I close my eyes, letting his words wash over

me, snuggling into his hold. I take a deep breath,
letting his strength seep into my bones. I’m going to

need  every  ounce  of  it  today.  I  honestly  never
planned  on  seeing  Sawyer  again,  and  I  was
absolutely  fine  with  that.  I  had  no  desire  for
closure, answers or a goodbye. I was ready to leave
that part of my life behind.

After we eat, we shower and get around and

make the four-hour trip to the prison that Sawyer is
sentenced at. We pull into the visitor’s lot, park and
make our way to the entrance. My hands are shaky,
and  my  breathing  is  rapid.  Even  though  summer  is
starting  to  change  into  fall,  my  hands  are  clammy,
and  everything  seems  like  it’s  in  HD  and  blurry  at
the  same  time.  Each  step  feels  like  a  mile.  We
check  in,  and  they  check  my  ID,  comparing  it  to
the fucking application I had to fill out to see him. I
go  through  security,  and  then  they  lead  me  to  an
empty room with a few tables.

It’s bland as fuck in here. Sterile. Kind of

cold.  The  nervousness  tries  to  bubble  up,  but  I  do
my best to keep it down. I take slow, deep breaths,
knowing  Preston  is  waiting  for  me.  Giving  me  his
silent  strength.  I  close  my  eyes  and  focus  on  my
breathing. My fingers going to my tattoo. I hear the
rattle  of  cuffs  and  my  eyes  spring  open.  The  door
opens  and  he  walks  through  with  a  guard  behind
him. His eyes widen when he sees me, and then he
does something I was not expecting.

He fucking smiles, like he’s some proud

father.

And I get fucking pissed.

I don’t know what I was expecting him to

look  like,  but  it  was  not…  this.  He’s  aged  in  a
natural  way,  but  he  looks…  good.  Better.  Clean.
Healthy,  even.  He’s  put  on  muscle,  probably  from
having nothing better to do than workout. His skin
has cleared up, his hair is cut, and he is alert.

“Talia? Is it really you?”

I say nothing back as he sits across from

me, just staring at the stranger in front of me.

“Wow, it’s so good to see you. I honestly

wasn’t expecting this. But I can’t tell you how
happy-”

“Stop.” I grind my teeth together, jaw

flexing in anger. “Happy? You’re happy to see
me?”

His demeanor changes, “I know there is a

lot I need to apologize for-”

“No shit.” I say cutting him off.

“I deserve your anger. I deserve your hate. I

don’t deserve your forgiveness, but that doesn’t
mean I’m not utterly ashamed of how bad of a dad
I was to you, Talia.”

My nose flares and my heart rate increases

at the load of shit he’s spewing.

Our eyes lock, and he doesn’t waver his

stare, “Talia, I am so, so beyond sorry. I’m sorry for
hurting you, for not loving you. Everything. Every
single thing. I’m sorry swe-”

“STOP.” I give him a deathly glare, “Do

NOT say what you were about to say. You don’t
call me that. NO one calls me that. Ever.”

His eyes close, anguish taking over his face.

“I’m so sorry about Damon, Talia. I get absolutely
sick and ashamed thinking about what I’ve done,
what I put you through. Who I gave you to. What
kind of dad does that?” Tears build in his eyes and
fall down his face.

“A shit one, Sawyer. You were anything

BUT a dad to me. You get that, right? I was starved
for your love. For your affection. Anything but
what you gave me, and I didn’t know any better so
I turned to Damon.” I pull out my arm, “See these

flames?” I roll up my sleeve, showing him the black
and white flames on my arm, “That’s for when you
held  my  hand  down  onto  a  searing  hot  pan  for
burning dinner. Burning. Fucking. Dinner, Sawyer.”
I  show  him  a  design  snaked  around  my  arm.  It
looks memorizing, but it signifies a belt. “See this?
See  the  notches?  It’s  a  belt.  There  are  notches  in
the  entire  length,  because  no  matter  what  I  did,  I
never  fit  your  mold,  and  you  would  punish  me  for
it.  I  lift  up  my  shirt  and  show  him  the  side  of  my
lower  back,  see  the  child  praying?  Ragged  and
tattered clothes? That’s for every fucking meal you
withheld from me.”

Tears are freely flowing down my face,

showing him every indiscretion portrayed on my
body.

“See this fucking daisy? That’s where

Damon bit off a chunk of my arm. I have tattoos
covering my legs, hiding the welts and scars he put
there when he whipped me until I passed out. I had
to get a tattoo to cover his fucking initials he carved
into my body, Sawyer!” I wipe my eyes. “You truly
don’t understand the hell I went through. Not only
from you, but from thinking Damon was…” I take
a breath, “Thinking he was my savior, a best friend,
my way out. No. He was my end. One that you
sentenced me to.”

Sawyers tears soak his shirt, unbothered to

even try and wipe them, like he wants to remember
this moment. Let the tears slice down his cheeks,
wanting them to cause himself as much pain as he
caused me. If only.

Then I let the truth I have never once

spoken out loud out. “The fucked-up part of this?”
I sniffle and wipe my nose. “I fucking forgave you,
because  that’s  the  kind  of  person  I  built  myself  to
be.  Mackenzie’s  parents  did  more  for  me  in  the
short  time  they  were  here,  than  you  did  my  entire
life.”

He breaks down when I say those words,

head in his hands, sobbing. I give us both a few
minutes to collect ourselves before I continue to the
real reason I came here.

“This isn’t why I’m here though, Sawyer.”

His head rises, he wipes away the remnants

of his sorrow. “What do you mean?”

“Things have been happening. I place

something  somewhere  and  it  turns  up  somewhere
else.  I  didn’t  think  anything  of  it  at  first,  but  it
started  getting  more  odd.  I  completely  organized
my kitchen and when I came home, a cup was out

in the sink. I got a couple of sealed blank envelopes
with a blank paper. Then I came home another day
and my bathroom was trashed with the word ‘soon’
written with my lipstick on the mirror.” I take a
deep breath. “Then a few days ago, someone left a
note on my driver’s side window. All it said was…
Sweetheart.” I close my eyes. I hear Mackenzie tell
me, inhale - exhale. So, I do. “I need to know if
you’ve had something to do with this. And if you’re
any sort of a decent human being, if you’re actually
sorry like you say… Prove it right now. Tell me the
fucking truth.”

His eyebrows are furrowed together, he

straightens his back, his entire demeanor changed
into something very serious.

“Talia, I swear to you, on every life of

anyone who ever meant something to me, your
mom even, I have nothing to do with this. I have no
idea who would do this. Damon is dead, I’m in here
and I keep to myself as much as I can. I’m sorry, I
truly have no answers for you.” He licks his lips,
“Did you say you got blank letters?”

My head was in my hands, but at his

response I pop up in question, “Yeah, why?”

He rubs his jaw with his cuffed hands. “I’ve

gotten them too. I thought they might be from you,

symbolizing something. Or hell, even the guards
messing with me. I don’t know. I didn’t know what
to think, but it’s odd we’ve both received them.”

“When did you get these? Do you still have

them?”

“Maybe a month or so ago? No, the guards

threw them away.”

“Shit.” I mutter under my breath. “Who

would  do  this?  You  have  no  one  else  who  knows
our  past?  Would  want  something  from  you?  From
me,  for  some  reason?  A  punishment,  anything?”  I
take  a  deep  breath,  pleading  for  answers.  “I  can’t
go  through  this,  Sawyer.  So,  if  you  have  any  idea,
even a sliver of one, please tell me.”

He grabs my hands gently. It startles me at

first, and my first reaction is to pull away, but
something keeps them there. Maybe it’s the little
girl inside me that wanted nothing but love from her
dad. Maybe it’s stupidity.

“I swear, I don’t know, Talia. I’m so sorry I

don’t have more answers for you. But, if you want,
leave your number on my file, I can let you know if
I get more…” He clears his throat, “Maybe I can
call to talk to you sometimes, too?”

I bite my lip in contemplation. “Yeah, I’ll

leave my number. But I don’t know how ready I am
to talk to you like nothing happened, Sawyer.”

He nods his head, “I understand. I do. But I

won’t stop trying. I won’t stop trying to prove how
sincere I am.”

I take a deep breath, slowly nodding and

rubbing my hands down my face. Stressed over the
fact I still have no answers. Stressed over the
fucked-up visit this turned out to be.

What the hell do I do now?

Chapter 26

The moment I see Preston, I fall into his

arms and let out my sobs. He embraces me, always
holding me as tight as he can, which is exactly what
I  need.  I  need  the  pressure  around  me,  letting  me
know I’m not alone in this. Reassuring he’s with me
every step of the way. Kissing my head, waiting for
me  to  come  down  on  my  own,  the  way  I  need  to,
before  he  questions  what  the  hell  happened.  My
cries  calm,  and  I  start  to  unwrap  myself  from  his
arms.

“Come on, Angel. Let’s get out of here.”

I nod my head and clutch his hand as tight

as I can. Once we get into the car, I stare straight
ahead, still processing what the hell happened in
there. I feel so overwhelmed.

Mackenzie, this whole thing with the break

in, and now Sawyer. It’s so much to handle all
while grieving my best friend. God, what I would

give to have her here with me. I close my eyes and
take a deep breath, trying to ground myself for this
conversation.

“Preston, that was so fucking unexpected.”

I  close  my  eyes  and  he  squeezes  my  hand,  giving
me  time.  “He  looked…  good.  Normal.  Sober.”
Then  I  scoff,  “He  apologized.  For  everything.  He
even  listed  them,  and  I  was  so  fucking  mad.  How
dare  he  apologize  now,  after  all  this  time?  All  I
wanted  from  him  as  a  little  girl  was  love,  and  he
filled  me  with  hate.  I  freaked  the  fuck  out  and
showed  him  my  tattoos  for  the  things  he’s  done.  I
wanted  him  to  feel  the  pain  I  did.  The  pain  I  can
still feel to this day. I can still remember the feeling
of  the  sting  of  every  hit.  The  sear  of  every  burn.
The throb of every bite. The ache of my innocence.
It’s burned in my memory.”

Inhale. Exhale.

“Long story short, he apologized, rather

sincerely. I told him I fucking forgave him, Preston.
I didn’t want to. But I did, because that’s the kind
of person I chose to build myself as.” I breathe in a
deep breath, “God, did that really just happen?” I
shake my head and drop it into my hands. “I left
my number for him. I don’t know if I’ll talk to him
any time soon, but that is only part of the reason I
did it.”

I look over to Preston, who’s been listening

intently the entire time. “He received blank letters,
too. He has no idea who could be doing this.” I
close my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief. “So,
we’re still at square one.”

“Fuck, Talia. This is crazy for so many

reasons. How do you feel? What are you thinking?”

“I don’t even know yet. Terrified about the

letters and no answers, but everything else? I really
don’t  know.  I  wasn’t  expecting  that.  I  was
expecting the dad that was an addict and hated me.
I wanted him to look me in the eye and tell me it’s
him.  That  he  is  trying  to  terrify  me,  for  old  times’
sake.” I bark out a laugh. “What a dumb thought.”
I  groan  out  loud,  “What  the  hell  do  I  do  now,
Pres?”

“You come home, Angel. With me.” He’s

looking at me with nothing but love.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Let’s go. Ryland wants to

see us.”

My brain goes into overdrive on the way to

Ryland’s. I am at a complete loss.

Whoever is doing this, they have one hell of

an advantage.

◆◆◆

We pull up and Ryland is sitting on his front

porch.

“Where’s my fat baby?” I yell as I get out

of the car.

He gives me a big smile. “At my parents for

a few days. He was bouncing off the walls with
excitement.”

“Oh good, I know how much he loves going

over there.” Preston and I give him a big hug, and
we just hold each other for a bit, comforting one
another in the crazy, fucked up hand life is dealing
us. “You look great, Ry. How are you?”

“Getting there. Some days are better than

others. Greyson helps a lot. I won’t lie though,
there are some mornings and nights where the pain
is just too much. I miss her too much. My love has
only grown, and I can’t give it to her anymore. It’s
fucking hard to breathe without her. But those good
moments, I hang onto. That’s all I can do.”

I smile at him, resting my hand on his

cheek. “Love you so much, Ry. She did too. You lit
up her life like a firework. Day by day, right?”

“Right.”

We all take a seat on the porch and dig into

the  bagels  we  brought  over.  I  spill  my  insane
afternoon  and  update  him  on  what’s  going  on.
Preston  and  Ryland  both  wear  worried  faces  for
me, and I can’t help but be worried too.

“I just don’t even know what to think.

Someone  has  clearly  pointed  me  out  to  do  this.  I
just  don’t  understand  who.  I’m  constantly  looking
over  my  shoulder.  The  anxiety  makes  me  feel  sick
all  day  long.  I  can’t  relax,  it’s  just  so  much  to
handle.  Especially  while  I’m  still  missing  and
grieving  over  Mac.  Too  fucking  much.”    I  rub  my
temples,  elbows  on  my  knees,  my  brain  is  going
into overdrive.

Ry grabs my hand, “You guys are welcome

here, anytime. Call me anytime. Whatever.” He
looks at Preston, “Watch her like a hawk, Pres. I
can’t lose this one, too.”

“Of course, brother. We’ll keep you up to

date, too.”

I look at Ry, and smile, he’s the brother I

never had. He smiles back, but we’re both aching
for a smile we’ll never get in person, again.

“Tell Greyson, I love and miss him. I don’t

want him to be around too much until we figure out
what the hell is going on. If any of this were spilled
off onto you guys, it would kill me.”

“Don’t even think like that, Tal. Preston and

I got you.”

“Thanks.”

We hang with him the rest of the day, the

game turned on and burgers on the grill. For a
moment, I forget about everything going on.

That was mistake number one.

Chapter 27

“Angel, are you sure?”

“Preston, yes. I am a big girl. Nothing has

happened in like, weeks. I have a taser and pepper
spray. I will be fine for a day.” I smile at him and
his overbearing mood. “I promise, I will call you if
anything even remotely crazy happens.”

“Ehh, I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Preston, it’s like twelve hours, I’ll be fine.

You’ll be home by ten. I’ll come straight here after
the bakery. I’m going to be there super late
anyways, I have a fuck ton to catch up on as it is.”

He’s staring at me, chewing a hole through

his lip. His company needs him to go two hours
North for the day to do an audit.

“I want to know, Talia. Even if it’s a fucking

hiccup and you feel odd after.”

“That’s weird, Preston.”

“Yeah, well…” He runs his hands through

his hair for the hundredth time this morning.

“Babe, I promise, I will call you when I get

there,  on  my  break,  when  I  close  up  and  when  I
leave.”  I  pick  his  chin  up  so  he  will  look  at  my
eyes.  “And  then  when  you  get  home  tonight…”  I
kiss him. “I’ll show you how much I missed you.”

He growls, hands gripping into my hair,

pulling me tighter to him, devouring my mouth.

“Fuck. Fine. Call me, got it?”

“Got it. You’re gonna be late. Get goin’.”

He kisses me one more time, “I love you,

Talia. More than you could ever possibly know.”

“I spent my life without love, Preston. Trust

me when I say I feel every ounce of love you pour
into me.”

He smiles at that, giving me one more kiss

and  a  long  hug.  Then  he  grabs  his  bags  and  heads
off.  I  smack  his  ass  on  the  way  out  the  door,
because,  it  is  an  ass  that  needs  to  be  smacked.

Often.

I finish breakfast and grab my stuff, making

my way out the door. It’s a beautiful day and it is
cooling off, still slightly muggy, but still beautiful. I
take a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air, closing
my eyes, looking up to the sky. She’s with me, I feel
her.

I smile, “I miss you, Big Mac.” I open my

eyes,  a  hummingbird  floating  right  next  to  me.
Yeah,  she’s  here.  These  are  the  moments  that  get
me  through  the  hard  ones.  I  hop  in  my  car,  roll
down  the  windows  and  blast  my  music  the  whole
way to the bakery. I park in the back, text Preston,
grab my mail and head inside.

“Hi, Kennedy! How are we doing today,

Babe?”

“Hey, Boss. Great! Morning was busy, but it

ran perfect. Just finished putting out some of the
items we sold out of this morning. Been smooth
sailing.”

“Awesome, that’s what I like to hear.” I

smile  at  her,  then  head  to  my  office.  What  I  love
about Kennedy, there is no small talk. She tells me
what  I  need  to  know  and  doesn’t  ask  for  more
information  than  what  I  give  her.  It’s  the  fucking

best,  because  I  hate  small  talk.  I  spend  an  hour  or
two  sorting  through  mail,  answering  emails  and
paying some bills. I take inventory in the back, then
place  an  order  for  things  that  we  are  low  on.  I
restock what we do have and make sure everything
is clean and up to code. I look at the kitchen island,
thinking of Pres. I smile and go over to the counter,
pulling  my  shirt  down  to  show  my  cleavage,  and
take a picture. It takes a few shots to get the one I
want,  and  when  I  do,  I  send  it  with  a  smirking
emoji,  over  to  Preston.  He  answers  almost
immediately.

Preston: Holy Fuck.

Preston: Angel.

Preston: You’re killing me. And giving me a

hard on in front of about fifty cops.

Talia: *winking emoji*

Preston: That’s where I fucked you on the

counter isn’t it, Angel?

Talia: Mmhmm.

Preston: I hope you’re ready for tonight like

you say you are.

Talia: Give me your worst.

Preston: *smiling devil emoji*

Talia: I’ll be waiting.

Preston: Damn, I love you.

Talia: Love you, too. Xx

I smile and return to work. I run to the post

office, and then to the store and back to the bakery.
It’s  time  to  start  baking  for  the  next  day,  and
Kennedy  and  I  are  in  the  back  doing  our  thing.
Metallica  is  playing  in  the  background  and  we’re
both humming along. It makes me smile, thinking of
days  Mac  and  I  would  do  this.  Around  three  pm,
Kennedy packs up to go home.

“Have a goodnight! Thanks for your help in

the kitchen.”

“Of course. Need anything else, boss?”

I smile at her, “No, I’m good. See you

tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

She walks out the back and I lock the door

behind her. I text Preston letting him know I still

have a couple more hours here at the bakery, and
Kennedy just left.

Preston: Okay, text me when you leave and if

you need me. We’re wrapping up in a few hours.

Talia: Will do. Love you.

Preston: Love you, Angel.

I start working on my list for our fall roll

out.  Testing  recipes  to  make  sure  they  are  what  I
want this season. If I want to make any tweaks, etc.
I’m  completely  wrapped  up  in  baking  and  singing,
and it feels nice. Almost normal. The song ends, but
a new one doesn’t start. I go over to the system we
had installed in the bakery, to check it out. It’s on,
but unresponsive. I was never good at working this
thing.  I  tap  it  a  few  times,  pressing  play.  But
nothing.

“Damn.” I get out my phone to play music

on my playlist instead. I’m about to press play
when the music starts again over the speakers. I
was relieved at first. But the song.

This song.

Every nerve in my body is on alert as After

the Storm by Mumford and Sons plays over the

speakers, although I make sure to thumbs down this
song  on  every  music  platform  I’m  on,  ever.  My
heart  is  beating  so  loud,  it’s  deafening  to  my  ears.
My chest feels tight and my hands are shaky. I run
to  my  purse  and  grab  the  pepper  spray.  I  take  out
my  phone  and  call  Preston.  No  answer,  so  I  text
him.

Talia: Somethings wrong, Pres. Call me. Now.

I put my phone on vibrate and in my

pocket. I’m silent as I try to listen for anything in
the bakery. It’s hauntingly still. I look around up
front, nothing.

I head to go back into the kitchen, as I’m

pushing  the  door  open,  arms  squeeze  around  me
and  a  cloth  covers  my  mouth  abruptly,  hands
plugging  my  nose,  forcing  me  to  breathe  through
my mouth.

I try to fight back, but my limbs go weak

almost immediately and I fall into familiar arms,
trying to make out the pair of eyes I see through my
own blurry vision. But I can’t.

Then it’s black.

Chapter 28

Preston

Fuck, that demo took too long. We are on

our way back to the office from the field we trained
in today. All I can think about is Talia and getting
home to her. I all but sprint my sorry, love-struck
ass back to get my bag, phone and keys, and get the
hell out of here. Two hours are all that’s separating
me from my girl.

I get back and grab my phone, I see two

missed calls and a text. I open the text.

Talia: Somethings wrong, Pres. Call me. Now.

Shit. I immediately call her number, but it

just  rings.  And  rings.  And  rings.  I  grab  the  rest  of
my  things  and  sprint  to  my  car.  I  peel  out  of  the
parking lot, not caring if the cops I just audited and
trained pull me over. I call again. No answer. Anger
and  fear  take  over,  and  I’m  gripping  the  wheel

deathly tight. I call Ryland.

“Hey man. What’s up?”

“Ry, somethings up. Talia texted me that

something was wrong at the bakery and I’m two
fucking hours North. Can you check on her?
Something? I’m freaking the hell out.”

“Shit. Yeah, Grey is at my parents. I’m

leaving now. Call the cops yet?”

“No, I’m doing it now.”

“Okay, I’ll call you as soon as I’m there.

Get your ass here, Pres.”

“Call me when you get there.”

I hang up and call 911 straight away, cutting

off the operator.

“Yeah, sorry. My girlfriend owns a bakery

called Bread & Brewed. Someone’s been stalking
her, and she texted me while I was at work saying
something is wrong. I can’t get a hold of her, and I
need someone to go check on her, now.”

The lady tells me to remain calm, fuck that,

and tell her the address. She dispatches officers out

immediately, and then Ryland is ringing me back.

“What’s happening, Ryland?” I’m drilling

him as I’m speeding down the freeway, dodging in
and out of lanes as fast as my car will let me.
Which is fast.

“She’s not here, Preston. She’s gone.”

“What the hell do you mean, Ryland?”

“The back door was wide open, and her car

is still here, but she’s nowhere. I don’t know where
the hell she is, or if someone has her.” He sounds
panicked.

I grind my teeth together, rage and fury

blinding me. I had one job, to keep her safe, to keep
her mine. I take a deep breath, about to spew off
orders, but Ryland speaks up first.

“Cops are here, Pres. I’ll call you back in

just a sec.”

He hangs up and I’m still racing down the

freeway, drastically cutting the time to get home
down, but I’m still about an hour away. If a hair on
her head is harmed, I will freak the fuck out. I feel
adrenaline racing through my veins. I swear if she’s
just out and about and forgot to lock up and forgot

her phone, I’m gonna spank her ass.

But if someone has her…

I will go to the ends of this Earth, to bring

her home.

◆◆◆

I tear into the bakery parking lot, making

the two-hour trip in a little over an hour. How I
didn’t get pulled over is beyond me.

“Ryland? Do we know anything yet?” I say

as I get out of my car.

He rubs his hands down his face, “No man.

No clue. Her phone isn’t here, and they are trying
to track it down. They are also trying to access any
and all camera footage of the day to see if we can
see anything. Otherwise we’re at a complete loss,
with nothing to go on.”

“FUCK!” I punch the brick wall, trying to

feel anything other than what I’m feeling right now.
This is the first time I’ve craved a hit to calm me
the hell down in years. “What do we do, Ryland?
What the hell do I do? We can’t lose her, too.”

His jaw grates together, feeling the same

anger as I do. “I don’t know. But if these cops
move any slower, we’re taking shit into our own
hands.”

“Already done. Let’s go.”

He follows me as I go next door to ask them

for video footage of any outside cameras they have,
but they are closed. Everyone is closed. I take a
deep breath to collect myself. Spastic and irrational
behavior will not help me, I need to chill the hell
out and focus.

“Okay. Let’s go back inside the bakery, see

if we see anything even remotely odd. Then I guess
we’ll head back to her apartment and see if we see
anything out of the sorts.”

Ryland nods and we are already heading

back inside the bakery kitchen. We search
everything. Every nook and cranny, and absolutely
nothing is out of place. Someone definitely has her,
but who? “Let’s go to her house.”

We both drive over to Talia’s. We go into

her building and as I approach her door, it’s
cracked open. I feel my heart race faster with each
step I take. Ry and I both look at each other. We
slowly inch open the door, and once I slowly walk

in, my eyes adjust, and it’s trashed. I turn my cell
phone light on and raise my finger to my lips to tell
Ry not to make a sound.

My hand is on my gun, I almost always

carry, especially lately. I carefully walk around the
broken glass remnants of everything she owns. I tip
toe through to her bedroom, listening first, and then
gently  opening  the  door.  Once  I’m  in  there,  my
vision  turns  red.  I  feel  my  entire  body  shaking  in
fury. I turn on her bedroom light and I hear Ryland
swear under his breath as we both take in the scene
before  us.  Her  bed  and  pillows  are  completely  cut
up, her clothes are all over, dresser tipped over. But
that’s the least of my concerns.

The massive word painted in red on the wall

above her bed, is what my eyes don’t move from.

MINE.

I don’t speak. Ryland is trying to get me

out,  so  we  can  call  the  cops  for  evidence  or  some
shit,  but  I  don’t  hear  him.  All  I  see,  is  someone
sending  me  a  threat.  Trying  to  warn  me.  They
messed with the wrong person.

Not only will I search this Earth until I find

Talia, but once I find who took her… I will rip their
fucking throat out.

Chapter 29

Preston

Eight Hours. It’s been eight hours of hell.

Not knowing where my girl is, if she’s okay,
nothing. Not one fucking clue. The cops came and
swept her house for everything. This is now an act
of aggression, and we are on the lookout. Ryland
and I searched the entire city last night, asking and
looking for absolutely any crumb of information.

But nothing.

It’s six am and my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mr. Taylor. We were able to secure

video footage and we found something. Get to the
station as soon as you can.”

“On my way.” I hang up and grab my keys,

turning to Ryland. “They found something on
camera. I’ll let you know what it is.”

“I’m coming with you, dick-bag.”

We are both in the car and on the way to

the police station in a matter of minutes. We hurry
up through the doors and are led to a room with a
TV, it’s paused right now.

“Mr. Taylor, Mr. Bennett.” He shakes our

hands.  “We  were  able  to  secure  this  from  the
business next door, take a look. He presses play and
we see Kennedy, Talia’s manager, leave and then he
fast  forwards  a  little  bit.  All  of  a  sudden,  the  back
door  opens,  and  a  guy  in  all  black  and  a  black
baseball  cap  comes  out,  carrying  Talia  over  his
shoulders, throwing her into the back of a van.

“Who is that?” I ask calmly with a note of

venom.

“That’s what we are trying to figure out.

From  what  we  can  gather  from  the  videos,  he’s
about  late  40’s,  around  six  feet  in  height,
approximately  215  lbs.  Does  that  description  bring
up any recognition of absolutely anyone?”

He rewinds the tape and zooms in on the

partial face frame they have of him. I shake my
head, “Not one fucking clue.”

“Me either.” Ryland speaks up.

“There is one person you need to show this

to, though. Sawyer Daniels. Talia’s father.”

“Isn’t he in prison?”

I nod my head, and the cop looks at his

partner then radio out to someone that they need to
contact the prison to talk to and show Sawyer the
footage.

“We will let you know what he says. We

will call you immediately with any new
information.”

“Hell no, I’m coming.”

“Mr. Taylor, even if I said it’s okay, you’re

not on the approved visitors list. They won’t let you
in.”

I exhale sharply, running my hands through

my hair, feeling so lost. “Fine. But call me the
minute you find something. It’s already been too
damn long that she’s been gone.”

They nod and we all get up to leave. Ryland

and I get back in my car, wondering what else there
is to possibly do. He gets out his phone to make a

call.

“Hey Mom. No, nothing yet. Okay, let me

talk to him.” He pauses, “Hey buddy, you’re gonna
stay a little longer with grandma and grandpa,
okay? Me and Uncle Preston have some important
work to do, okay?” He smiles, “Thanks, buddy. I
love you. Be good. Bye.”

“What if she’s hurt, Ry?”

“Shut up, Pres. Don’t allow yourself to

think that way. You can’t. It will eat you alive. The
ONLY thing you are to think about, is where the
hell she is so we can get her. Who does she know
that we can talk to?”

I hammer my brain for ideas, I close my

eyes and focus. Think, Preston, think. Then I get it,
my eyes pop open.

“Kennedy! We need to show this to

Kennedy. If he didn’t enter through the back, he
HAD to have come in through the front and hid
somewhere, somehow. That is the only way…”

“Brilliant, Pres. Better than the damn cops.

Let’s go tell them and then head to the bakery,
she’s probably there.”

I head back inside to tell the officers before

they  make  the  travel  to  the  prison.  Then  we  drive
over  to  the  bakery  and  start  banging  on  the  front
door.  She  comes  up  and  once  she  sees  it’s  us,  a
worried look overtakes her face.

“Guys, what’s going on?”

“Talia was taken from here last night. We

need you to come look at the footage and see if you
recognize the guy from yesterday.”

“What?! She’s gone?! Shit, let me shut

everything off and take me wherever you need me
to go.” She races to the back, gathering everything
she  needs  then  meets  us  back  up  front.  She  locks
the doors and we head back to the station. Once we
arrive,  we  fill  her  in  on  Talia’s  situation,  then  they
sit  us  down  and  show  Kennedy  the  footage.  She
gets  up  close  to  the  screen,  eyebrows  furrowed
together,  then  her  eyes  grow  big,  her  hand  shoots
up to cover her mouth.

“Oh my gosh. I’m going to throw up. Oh

no.”  She  starts  hyperventilating,  about  to  have  an
anxiety  attack.  Ryland  steps  over  to  her,  wrapping
her in a tight hug, whispering something in her ear.
Mac used to get panic attacks often, so I think this
was a natural reaction for him to comfort her. After
several  minutes,  her  eyes  blink  rapidly  and  she

controls her breathing, tears rolling down her face.
She shuts her eyes tight, then opens them again to
look at the screen.

“It all makes sense now.” She whispers.

“What does, Kennedy?” Ryland says as he

loosens his embrace on her, grabbing her shoulders
to look her in the eyes.

“This is all my fault.” She says so quietly, I

almost miss it. She takes a seat, buries her head in
her hands and sobs. I look at Ry, and he shrugs,
neither of us knowing what the hell is going on.

“Kennedy, what do you mean? Why do you

think this is your fault?”

She lifts her head from her hands and wipes

her  tears.  “I’ve  been  seeing  him  for  three  years.  I
met him in Virginia, he convinced me to move here,
begged me to. Said he knew someone that owned a
bakery  and  could  get  me  a  job.  Didn’t  give  me  a
name or details, just told me to call and see if they
were hiring. Be consistent, because he knew I loved
to bake  and wanted  me  to get  a  job where  I  could
get  the  best  experience.”  She  scoffs,  “He  was  too
good  to  be  true.  My  family  didn’t  like  that  he  was
twenty years my senior… but he took an interest in
me and I clung to it like a lifeline.”

“What does this have to do with Talia,

though?” Ryland speaks up, reading my mind.

She nods, “He started getting dodgy these

last  few  months  or  so.  Controlling,  demeaning,
rough,  you  name  it.  It  was  so  unlike  the  Roger  I
knew.  He  was  obsessed  with  my  work  schedule.
Like freakishly obsessed, claimed he just wanted to
make sure I wouldn’t get mugged or whatever. But
he never once would visit if Talia was around. If we
were to stop in and she was there, he’d make up a
last-minute  excuse  to  back  out.”  She  takes  a  deep
breath. “Last week, I found a picture in a shoe box.
Multiple  pictures.  Of  a  little  girl  with  long  black
hair  and  icy  blue  eyes.  I  thought  maybe  it  was  a
cousin  or  a  sister  or  a  niece…  I  don’t  know.  But
then I found a picture of this little girl sitting on his
lap. Her arms around his neck, wearing a big smile.
Couldn’t  have  been  more  than  six  or  seven  years
old.  I  asked  him  about  it,  furious  because  of  the
names on the back. Why would he lie to me? Why?
I didn’t understand. None of this clicked into place
until a few moments ago. Until I seen his face.”

“What were the names on the back,

Kennedy?”

She looks me dead in the eyes.

Chapter 30

Talia

Pain.

That’s the first thing I feel when I come

around.  The  next  thing  I  feel  are  shackles  around
my  wrists  and  ankles.  Then  my  head  snaps  up,
realizing  I’ve  had  those  same  exact  thoughts
before.  When  I  was  fifteen.  I  blink  a  few  times  to
try  and  clear  the  fog  from  my  eyes.  My  breathing
increases and I start shaking as I realize I’m in the
same fucking basement as I was when I was fifteen.
I  squeeze  my  eyes  shut,  pulling  my  wrists  against
the  restraints  as  hard  as  I  possibly  can.  Trying  to
wake myself up from this nightmare. I can feel that
my lip is swollen, and the familiar ache of a broken
bone  is  radiating  through  my  forearm.  I  remember
being  groggy  from  whatever  he  subdued  me  with,
and  then  I  remember  him  throwing  me  down  the
stairs,  but  then  nothing.  I  think  I’ve  been
unconscious for a while, but that is the least of my
concerns.

My clothes are still on, and I’ve never been

more thankful.

I look around the filthy basement, much

dirtier than it was seventeen years ago. I try pulling
on my restraints to break free, and I hear a chuckle
come from the dark corner. My eyes immediately
go there, unmoving. So still you could hear a pin
drop.

Then the demon from my very own past,

makes his way out of the shadows. Showing his
aged face. All I feel is confusion and fear. How is
he alive and what is going to happen to me?

“Tsk tsk, Sweetheart. No greeting? All these

years and no hello?” He cocks his head to the side
and smirks, “I thought I had trained you better than
that.”

“How are you alive? I killed you, I know I

did.” I say frantically.

“Come on, Sweetheart. You didn’t think I

had a plan in case things went wrong? You knew
your daddy and I were shit cops. I had several in
my pocket, just in case you wised up and called me
in. They took me in, got me treated at the hospital
and discharged me to be treated off site once I was
stable.” He prowls towards me. I have to try not to

gag.

“Why did the doctors tell me you were

dead, then?”

He smirks, “I had more than just cops in my

back  pocket,  Baby.”  He  says  as  he  drags  a  finger
from my collarbone up to my ear. I turn my head to
get  out  of  his  grasp,  and  he  pretends  I  hurt  his
feelings. All of a sudden, he drops his joking smile
and  grips  my  neck  in  his  much  larger  than  I
remember,  hands.  Squeezing,  playing  with  my
oxygen,  letting  go  so  I  can  breathe,  just  to  tighten
and grip again.

The one thing I have on him, is that I

prepared for this. I fucking prepared for this in case
it ever happened to me again. I know what to do, I
just have to keep my head on straight and get
through this. It is a million times harder than it was
in a harmless gym, though. I try to control my
oxygen intake in my body, but the fear of this man,
and the shock of him being alive, is distracting me.

“You think this is a game, Talia? You

thought I would actually let you live without me?
That was never in the cards for you.” Then he lets
go of his grip on my throat, and I desperately suck
in the air I needed. Trying to suppress my coughing,
my airways are burning.

“Why now? Why wait so fucking long? I

don’t understand.” I barely say.

“Don’t you remember? I’m a patient man. I

was  willing  to  wait  as  long  as  I  needed  to.  You
actually  fucked  up  my  nerve  control  in  my  right
arm and a bit in my leg. It took me twelve months
just  to  be  able  to  wiggle  my  fingers.  I  knew  that  I
needed  to  be,  without  a  doubt,  completely  back  in
peak  physical  shape  when  I  came  back  for  you.
And there was never an if, Talia. Always a when. It
took me five years just to get the optimum control
of  my  arm  and  leg  back.  Then  I  had  to  focus  of
rebuilding a, pseudo-life if you will, in Virginia. But
I  was  always  keeping  tabs  on  you,  Sweetheart.
Making  sure  you  never  got  too  close  to  anyone.
Any man, at least. But then I also had to formulate
a plan. How would I easily be able to get as close as
I could without you expecting anything? How could
I start to fuck with your head?” He kneels down in
front  of  me,  resting  his  elbows  on  my  knees.  Then
he sighs and smirks.

“That’s when I met a beautiful red-headed

girl  named  Kennedy.”  My  eyes  snap  to  his  and  I
gasp  in  shock.  “Oh  yeah,  she  was  an  easy  one.
Young,  desperate  for  love  and  attention.  But  more
importantly,  had  a  passion  for  baking.  I  met  her
three years ago, got her to move back to Charleston

and keep applying for a job at your bakery. Which
you ate up like candy, by the way.”

He runs his hands through the ends of my

hair.

“Damn, you’ve grown to be such a

beautiful woman. The woman I’ve always dreamt
of.”

“I was a child, you sick fuck.” I spit in his

face, but he just smiles.

“A feisty one, at that. Your spit does

nothing but excite me, Sweetheart. So, save the
dramatics.”

I study the bastard in front of me. He

looks…  healthy,  for  lack  of  a  better  word.  He
clearly  took  his  rehabilitation  seriously.  Even
though he’s in his late forties, he’s solid muscle. His
now  short,  salt  and  pepper  hair  is  messy.  And  his
eyes? Dark as the devils should be.

“Damon, you don’t have to do this. Just…

What do you want? Money?”

He chuckles, “You are so cute when you try

to problem solve your way out of this. It’s you. All
I want is you.”

“Please just let me go, Damon. I’ve suffered

enough at your hand. Just, please don’t do this.”

He bends over, right in front of me, mere

centimeters  from  my  face.  “Sweetheart,  we  have
seventeen  years  to  make  up  for.  I  hope  you’re
ready.  Oh!  And  you  can  kiss  that  boyfriend
goodbye. You don’t need him anymore.”

Fuck. Tears well in my eyes and I try to

break out of this damn chair.

My phone. I lean to the side trying to feel it

in my pocket.

“Looking for this?” I look up and he’s

waving  my  phone  in  the  air.  I  blow  out  a  defeated
breath.  “It  will  be  so  much  easier  if  you  just
surrender.  But  if  you  remember  correctly…”  He
comes  back  in  front  of  my  face.  “I  love  nothing
more than a good fight.” He licks me from my jaw,
all the  way up  to  my hairline.  I  try to  shrink  away
but he won’t let me. I try and refuse to give him my
tears. He bathes in them.

“You think you’re clever, Damon? I have

people that care about me, that are looking for me
this time around. Right this second, even. You
realize that, don’t you? And if I haven’t killed you

by the time they get here. Trust me, they will tear
you to fucking pieces.” I snarl out at him.

Rage takes over his face, but I continue. “I

was  never  yours.  I  never  will  be  yours.  You  tried
claiming  something  that  you  had  no  right  to  claim.
You  may  have  taken  my  body  and  innocence,  but
you’ve  never  had  my  heart.  And  guess  what?
Someone  else  has  it,  it  will  always  be  out  of  your
reach.”

“You should know by now I don’t give a

shit about your heart, Talia. I’ve decorated your
body with not only scars, but tattoos. You’ve
dedicated your body to me. That in itself gives me
what I want.”

“You seem to misunderstand. I hid your

marks with my own. You didn’t put these on me, I
did. I re-wrote the story and inflicted the pain
myself. My. Choice. My body has never been
dedicated to you, nor will it ever be.”

“We’ll see about that. But I’m sick of

chatting. I’d like to start reacquainting ourselves
with one another. What do you say?”

“Screw you.”

“Your fire has grown. I love it.” He says

with a giddy smile, drumming his fingers together.

“You’re sick.”

He moves the hair from my face, running

his finger along my jaw. “That was never in
question, Sweetheart.” He leans down right in front
of me. “I am going to break every piece of your
soul and drink every drop of blood you give me.”

He growls as he puts his mouth over mine. I

try to turn away, but he grips my hair so tight, it
feels like he’s about to pull it out. I open my mouth
and bite is tongue, almost hard enough to take it
off.

He rears back in a yelp, then delivers the

first of many blows to my face. I don’t care, he can
hit me as much as he wants, as long as I can
prevent him from taking yet another piece of me
that isn’t his to take.

“You little bitch.” He’s collecting a pool of

blood  dripping  from  his  mouth.  I  snarl  at  him,
letting  him  know  I’m  not  a  malleable  fifteen-year-
old girl anymore. He dives at me, squeezing the life
out  of  my  jaw,  my  cheeks  cutting  into  my  teeth.
“You’re going to regret that, Sweetheart.”

He shoves the chair backwards, and I fall

flat on my back, head slamming into the concrete
floor. My skull is throbbing in pain, an instant
headache taking over. He kicks me over to my side,
releasing my binds from the chair, and pulls me up
by the hair.

“Time to play.”

Preston, please find me.

Chapter 31

Preston

Hang tight, Angel.

My head is in my hands. We are at a

fucking loss. The cops are visiting Sawyer to see if
we can gather any and all information we can. I’m
still shaking in rage; it’s been too long. I can’t
stomach the thought of him hurting her, again. My
heart cracks at the thought. I’m going to need to
call my sponsor after this shit is over with. I’ve not
felt so anxious in years.

Just because you are sober, does not mean

the craving leaves. Because it doesn’t, it lies
dormant in your body, wanting and waiting. The
perfect predator in the shadows, waiting to show its
face.

Shit. I can’t take this anymore. I’m about to

leave to go search for her. Search for anything, but
the cops walk back in the room. Ryland and I snap
our gazes up.

“Sawyer is devastated. Had no idea about

anything.  He  gave  us  any  and  all  information  he
could, mainly their old home address and Damon’s
old  home  address.  It’s  worth  checking  out.  It’s
about  an  hour  and  a  half  drive,  so  we  need  to  go,
now.”

We stand immediately and head out with

them.  They  make  a  couple  calls  to  the  police
department  out  there  to  get  to  the  houses
immediately and force entry if they have to. I’m so
fucking  on  edge.  I  just  want  my  girl  back.  I  just
want  her  safe.  Ryland  pats  my  shoulder  and
squeezes it.

“We’re going to find her, brother.”

“I know, but I’m scared of what I will find.

He’s sick, Ryland. The shit she told me? It’s so
fucked up. But I swear if he’s not dead when I get
there, he will be when I get my hands on him.”

The officers put on their lights and haul ass

to  Talia’s  hometown.  Twenty  minutes  into  our
drive,  they  get  a  call  from  the  team  out  there.  Her
house  is  completely  empty  and  abandoned.  They
are  enroute  to  Damon’s  as  we  speak.  We  are
making  incredible  time,  and  probably  only  have
twenty or thirty more minutes, max.

The cops are patched into their radio’s, and

another twenty minutes later as we are about to pull
into the neighborhood, I hear the words I was
dreading to hear through the speaker.

Requesting backup, shots fired.

Two victims.

Dead at the scene.

Chapter 32

Talia

If you cooperate, Sweetheart, I won’t make it

hurt as bad.

It’s okay, I like a little fight. But you already

knew that.

I already told you, Talia. I will bury you before

I let you live without me.

I said I wouldn’t give him any more of my

tears.  But  I  was  wrong.  Tears  roll  down  my  face,
but  not  in  fear.  They  stream  down  my  cheeks,  for
her.  For  the  thirteen-year-old  girl  that  cried  every
single  night,  because  someone  robbed  her  of  her
innocence. For the fourteen-year-old girl that yelled
out  in  pain,  because  he  was  too  rough.  For  the
fifteen-year-old  girl  that  endured  this  torture.  For
the  thirty-two-year-old  girl,  reliving  her  worst
nightmare.

I peeled back three fingernails trying to

claw my way out from his grasp. I chipped one
tooth, head-butting him to prevent my hands being
shackled to the bed frame. I dislocated my knee
kicking him so hard, trying to escape my legs from
being held down.

It wasn’t enough.

I used every single tactic I had ever been

taught.

It wasn’t enough.

I cried and begged for freedom.

It wasn’t enough.

I screamed and cursed in anger.

It wasn’t enough.

I squeezed my legs as tightly together as the

restraints would allow me.

It wasn’t enough.

So, I lay here, every wall of protection I’ve

built up, being violently torn through. There is no
escaping this physically, so I escape it mentally. I
close my eyes and see Preston.

I see football games and playful banter. I

see forbidden kitchen kisses and bakery visits. I see
Chinese food and date nights looking at the stars. I
see car sex and loud music with the windows down.
Best of all, I see him. Telling me how much he
loves me. That he’s coming for me, and just hang
on a little longer. Because he needs me, and I need
him.

Give me every broken piece, Angel. Give

me every single one.

So, I close my eyes and gather every

shattered bit of me and put it in a box.

I wrap it with a tattered bow, and I will offer

it to the boy who also has broken pieces.

I will carry his and he will carry mine.

If I make it out alive.

Chapter 33

Preston

I sprint out of the cop car as they carry a

body covered with a white sheet on a stretcher into
an ambulance. No.

No.

This is all wrong.

It can’t be her. I told her I would protect

her; I wouldn’t let anything happen to her. I can’t
fail her, I can’t.

My hands are shaking, and I feel sorrow and

dread fill my chest.

“No, please no.” I whisper out as I run up to

the paramedics. “Is this the female? Is this her?”
I’m frantic, begging and pleading that it’s not her.
Please.

“Sir, who are you? Are you family?”

“Just tell me! Fuck!” I’m pulling at my hair;

I can’t think straight to even answer.

The paramedic looks at me with sad eyes,

taking mercy on me, she places her hand on my
arm, “No. It’s not her. But she’s unconscious-”

Before she can finish the sentence, I run

inside the house, ripping through the caution tape. I
hear commotion downstairs and I race down the
steps into a hallway. Cops are holding me back
from going in the room.

“That’s my girlfriend, I’m her only family!

Let  me  the  fuck  go!”  I’m  growling.  They  release
their  grip  and  I  run  into  the  room,  only  to  stop  in
my  tracks.  My  chest  has  cracked  open  and  my
heart  has  been  decimated.  The  scene  before  me
makes me want to vomit. I don’t know whether to
feel  absolute  anger  and  fury,  or  absolute  grief  for
my beautiful girl.

She’s swollen and bruised. The blood

running down her thighs makes me see fucking red,
but I take a deep breath and I go over to her. They
have her on a stretcher, but are bandaging a few of
her wounds, stabilizing her.

“Angel? Can you hear me?” I say, trying to

hold back my tears, trying to be strong for her.

Her swollen, beautiful face relents in relief

the moment she hears my voice, “Preston? Is that
you?” She lets out a hoarse whisper, trying to look
at me through swollen eyes.

“Yeah, Angel. I’m here. I’m here and I’m

not going anywhere.”

“Please don’t leave me. Please. Please,

please.” She’s sobbing through her sentence,
breaking my heart with each word, with each plea.

“I’m not leaving your side. Ever. They’ll

have to tear me away.”

She exhales and keeps crying, either in

relief or pain. Probably a bit of both. A few minutes
later we take her upstairs and into the ambulance. I
don’t leave her side. I yell for Ryland to come in
here, but the paramedics try to stop him.

“That’s her brother-in-law. Please?”

“Sorry, we can’t have more than one. Can

he get a ride to the hospital?”

“We’ll bring him.” The officers that we

came with speak up and we both say our thanks.

We are on our way to the hospital, and I

don’t let go of Talia’s hand. I study it, noticing two
of her fingernails are bent backwards on the hand I
am holding. My nose flares and I have to give
everything I have, not to fly off the handle in anger.
I fear for what has happened to her, but I will never
leave her side. I meant what I said when I told her
I’d carry every broken piece.

And I will.

Chapter 34

Talia

“Ma’am, would you like us to perform one?

It is entirely up to you. The moment you say stop,
we stop.”

“He’s dead though, right? I’ve been told this

before, and he came back for me.”

The nurse covers my hand with her own.

“Honey, I directed his body to the morgue. He fired
a shot at an officer when they forced entry into the
home. The officer returned fire, and Damon was
shot in the head. Died immediately. He will never
come back for you again. I promise.”

A weight lifts off of my shoulders and she

pulls me into a hug, I sob into her chest. Preston is
squeezing my hand, never letting go, always giving
me strength. I let go of my nurse and wipe my tears.

“No. I don’t want one. I don’t need one. I

know he raped me.” I take a deep inhale, trying to

keep my voice strong. “Can I give my statement
now? I want this to be over with.”

“Of course. I’ll bring them in.”

I lay my head back, staring at the ceiling.

Fearful that like everything else, Preston will leave
me. I’m used up and worn out. I feel disgusting,
dirty. If I feel this way, I can only imagine what he’s
thinking.

“Pres, I don’t know if you should be in here

for this.”

“Angel don’t push me away. Hey, look at

me.” He gently directs my face to his. “I love you,
Talia. What you or I go through doesn’t determine
how much or waver my love for you. What you tell
those cops, will not change a single fucking feeling
I have for you. I just got you back, I refuse to lose
you again.”

Tears fill my eyes as I choke out, “I’m

broken, Pres. Used and beat up, why would you
still want me?”

“Just because a dollar bill gets stomped on,

crumpled up, washed, or thrown around… It is still
a dollar bill. It doesn’t lose its value. Baby, just
because you’ve been through something no one

should  ever  have  to  go  through,  doesn’t  mean  you
lose  your  value.  And  to  me,  you  are  priceless.
Don’t  ever  question  your  worth  through  my  eyes,
Angel.”

After everything I’ve been through, how is

it possible to feel lucky? But that is an easy answer.
Preston. He’s everything good wrapped up in a
shiny bow. But, he too, has chips and cracks and
glued on pieces, and I love those the most.

“I love you so much.” I whisper to him.

“I love you more than you’ll ever know,

Talia.” He returns back, resting our foreheads
together, giving me the strength, I need to relive the
last twenty-four hours.

A knock sounds at the door, and two cops

come in. A man and a woman, wearing kind smiles.
“Hi, Miss Daniels. I understand this is very
difficult, but we do need a statement from you. The
nurse told us you are ready now?”

I nod my head and clear my throat, starting

from when I was in the hospital last time, all the
way to the missing items, threats and break-ins.

“Then when Kennedy went home, I can’t

remember how soon after, but the music stopped

playing. I tried messing with the control box, but it
wouldn’t  work,  so  I  just  returned  to  the  kitchen  to
finish what I was doing. That’s when the song that
he  played  the  first  time  he…  raped  me,  started
playing. It was too eerie to be a mistake. I went to
check the front and when I went to go back to the
kitchen,  the  next  thing  I  know,  I  feel  him  from
behind, placing a cloth over my mouth and plugging
my  nose.  I  tried  not  to,  but  I  couldn’t  help  but
breathe  through  my  mouth.  I  got  very  weak  and
groggy,  very  fast.  I  remember  coming  to  when  we
got to the house, and he threw me down the stairs.
That’s how I got this.” I wave my casted arm in the
air. “Then I must’ve blacked out again, because the
next  time  I  woke  up,  I  was  in  the  same  basement,
same chair, tied up. He told me he had cops in his
back  pocket,  they  took  him  to  the  hospital  and
somehow  also  had  doctors,  too.  They  relayed  that
he  was  pronounced  dead,  but  they  actually
stabilized  him  then  transferred  him  out  of  the
hospital  to  recover  somewhere  else.  I  don’t  know
where.  But  he  basically  bid  his  time,  preyed  on
Kennedy,  and  used  her  to  get  close  to  me.  Just
waiting for the right time.”

They are writing everything down, and also

recording my voice.

“And what happened after that, Miss

Daniels?”

“Um, he hit me a few times. And then

pushed me over in the chair. I hit my head hard on
the  concrete,  then  he  took  me  to  the  room  you
found  me  in.  Uh,”  I  clear  my  throat,  forcing  the
tears back. “He tie-tied my ha-hands down. I tried
t-to  claw  my  way  o-out,  to  ki-kick  him.  But  it
wasn’t  en-enough.”  The  sobs  are  wreaking  havoc
on  my  battered  body.  “I  tried  to  fo-focus  on
something  else.  On  the  go-good  things.  It  gets  ki-
kind  of  blu-blurry  after  that.  I  just  remember  Pre-
Preston by my si-side next.” I try to wipe my tears,
so they don’t sting the cuts on my face, from being
hit. Preston is gripping my hand, shaking furiously. I
look  at  him  and  mouth,  ‘I’m  so  sorry’.  He  just
shakes his head, palm on my cheek.

“I love you, so damn much, Talia. Fuck, I’m

so sorry. So, fucking sorry.”

I release the rest of my tears as he says the

words I desperately was needing to hear after my
confession. The cops let me know that they don’t
need anything else.

“You are incredibly strong and incredibly

brave, Talia.” The woman says. All I can give her is
a sad smile, because I feel completely opposite of
those things.

Once they leave, I doze off, still gripping

Preston’s hand. I wake up to two voices. I can’t
make out who very well because my eyes are still
so swollen.

“Hey, Tali-babes. Good to see you.” I hear

Ryland say, rubbing his knuckles gently on my
cheek. I grab his hand and squeeze.

“Thanks, Ry.”

“How are you feeling, Angel?” I give

Preston’s hand a squeeze for my answer. Honestly,
I feel like shit. My entire body hurts. Don’t even
get me started on how I’m feeling mentally.

“When can I go home?”

“Later this evening, as long as you are

feeling up to it. They said you can stay the night if
you are more comfortable doing so.”

I shake my head. “I want to go home.”

“Okay, Angel.”

“Need anything, Tal?” I look over to Ryland

and lift my lips.

“No. I’m all set. Only thing missing is Grey

and Mac.”

Ry takes a deep breath and nods in

agreeance. I slip in and out of sleep the whole day,
and around six pm, they discharge me. They wheel
me out to Preston’s car that Ryland returned to get
and  drive  all  the  way  here.  We  have  a  long  drive
back, but they set me up with pillows and blankets
in  the  front  seat  so  I  can  be  as  comfortable  as
possible.  We  drop  off  Ry,  and  he  kisses  my  head
goodbye. Him and Pres give each other a long hug.
I think both of them are finally coming down from
the  mess  we’ve  been  in.  Preston  hops  back  in  the
car to head home.

“Baby, we’re home. Let me carry you in,

okay?” I nod my head, too tired and too sore to
argue.

He carries me all the way to the bedroom,

lays me in bed and gets in next to me. I curl up in
his arms and he holds me as tight as he can without
hurting me. Then the real tears come, and there is
no stopping them.

Now, the hard part begins.

◆◆◆

It has been five days since I came home,

and  I  refuse  to  leave.  I  can’t  walk  out  that  door.  I
know that it is irrational, because I know Damon is
dead. I even feel a difference this time, that I never
had  felt  before.  But  there  are  still  bad  people  out
there,  and  it  is  all  I  can  think  about.  Preston  has
been so patient with me, understanding my fear, but
always encouraging me, supporting me.

“I’m so sorry, Preston. I can’t. I just… I

can’t.”

“Okay, we’ll try again tomorrow.” He says,

sealing the promise with a kiss.

I nod my head, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Angel. Ryland was thinking

about stopping by to bring dinner. You up for it?”

I rub the daisy tattoo on my arm. “I love

Greyson, you know I do. But I don’t want him to
see me like this.”

“I know, Angel. Ryland figured that too, so

his parents have him. They said they love you, by
the way.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

He goes to call Ryland, and I check the

locks on the doors probably forty more times. It’s a
very  bad  obsession  I  have,  that  my  therapist  is
helping me with. So far, she has come to me every
single time. She knows me and knows the best way
to  get  me  to  open  up.  She  said  I’ve  done
remarkably  well  already.  But  it  does  not  feel  like
that.  I  feel  like  I  keep  slinking  back,  farther  and
farther  into  this  deep  dark  hole.  The  night  terrors
come for me like clockwork. I told her that and she
prescribed  me  some  sleeping  medication,  if  I  want
them.  I  didn’t  at  first,  because  the  idea  of  being
medicated  seemed  ridiculous.  But  I  am  so
exhausted,  so  I  took  one  last  night.  No  nightmares
and  I  slept  through  the  night.  It’s  not  guaranteed
every  time,  but  I’m  okay  with  that,  so  I  plan  on
taking them as long as she thinks I should.

Preston builds me up, all day, every day.

The man is a saint, and I love him more than I ever
thought I could ever love anyone in my life. But
I’m terrified there is a strong possibility I might lose
him. I have to talk to him about it, but I’m so
incredibly nervous.

“Hey, Pres?”

“Yeah, Baby?” He comes running to me.

“Can you sit down for a second?”

“Of course. What do you need?” He’s so

concerned. I lift my palm to his face and give him a
grateful smile. He will never know how much he
has already helped me heal.

“We need to talk about something.

Something that is a very real possibility, and I don’t
know about yet.”

“What’s going on?”

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.

I open them and begin, “There is a possibility that I
could be pregnant. Damon didn’t use a condom,
and I just… It is a possibility. I need to know where
you stand on this, if this were to be the situation.”

His frown is deep, but not in disgust. I think

he was expecting something else. “Angel, I told you
I would be here. I will carry every piece that is too
sharp for you, and that includes a baby. If you are
pregnant, I will support whatever your decision is.
I’m not going anywhere, Angel.”

“You mean that?”

“With my whole heart for my whole life.”

I exhale a huge breath in relief, wondering

how  the  hell  I  got  so  lucky  to  have  this  man.  He
wraps  his  arms  around  me,  kissing  my  head.
Always  giving  me  the  constant  reassurance,  I’ve
been needing.

“I love you, Preston. More than you will

ever truly know.”

“I love you. Even more than that.”

I roll my eyes at him. He tries to be playful

or teasing in the right moments. Trying to bring out
the smiles that are so easy for him to do.

I have the three best men in my life.

Preston, Ryland and Greyson. I look up to

the sky, or ceiling, rather, and give my love to my
missing link.

Love and miss you, Big Mac.

Chapter 35

Three Months Later

Talia

It’s Thanksgiving and Ryland’s mom and I

are  in  the  kitchen  getting  everything  ready  for
dinner. All the guys are in the living room watching
football.  We  have  a  massive  spread,  and  I  made
about seven different desserts yesterday. I love this
time  of  year,  and  I  am  absolutely  determined  to
make this the best day. I begged Kennedy to come
and she said she’d think about it. I had a long talk
with her and told her she has absolutely nothing to
feel  guilty  about.  She  didn’t  know  who  he  was,
literally. She’s mourning the loss of a man that she
thought  was  someone  else.  Someone  she  thought
was good. My heart just breaks for her.

It took me a few weeks to actually get

outside of the house, but once I did. I cried tears of
joy, and so did Pres. Then it took a bit longer, but I
built up the courage to go into town, then
eventually the bakery. Which I have had top notch
security installed. Everything is about security now.

I am not sorry about it either. Thankfully, Preston is
one hundred percent on board with my security
obsession. He rarely leaves my side, and I am also
one hundred percent okay with that, too.

Sawyer had called several times, and I

decided  to  call  him  back  a  few  weeks  after
everything went down. It was awkward at first, but
we  cried  together.  We  both  shared  our  broken
hearts,  trying  to  start  laying  a  foundation  for  us  to
possibly build some sort of relationship. Now, I talk
to him every few weeks, each conversation getting
lighter  and  easier,  but  occasionally,  my  anger
bubbles and I take it out on him. But, its progress.
Baby steps.

I wipe my hands on the towel, finishing the

small  details  like  the  gravy  and  the  sides.  Just
before  I  bring  it  to  the  table,  Ry’s  mom  stops  me.
She  puts  her  hands  on  my  shoulders  and  gives  me
that motherly look.

“I’m so proud of you, Talia. You have

defeated  and  overcome  something  that  people
should  never  have  to  go  through,  and  you  have
done  that  twice.”  She  runs  her  fingers  through  the
ends  of  my  hair.  “You  can  always,  always  talk  to
me  if  you  need  someone.  I’m  here,  day  or  night.
We love you so much and are  so thankful you are
here with us.”

I grab her and we embrace each other in a

tight hug, and I relish in it. There is something
about a hug that wraps your soul in warmth.

“Thank you. You’ll never know how much

that means to me.” We both sniffle and wipe the
tears that welled in our eyes.

“Alright, lets feed these boys!” I laugh and

as we start to take the food out, the doorbell rings. I
rush to the door, looking through the peep hole and
see a gorgeous, curly red head with blue eyes and
freckles. I hurry and open the door.

“You came! Come in, come in!”

“Hey, boss.” I smile at her name for me. She

hasn’t been back to the bakery yet, but I told her,
the job is still hers when she’s ready.

“Kennedy! You made it!”

“Hi, Mrs. Bennett.” She gives a small smile

and hands her a bottle of wine. “I wasn’t sure what
to bring or if you guys even drink. But I didn’t want
to come with nothing.”

“Oh, that was so sweet. Come on, we are

just about to eat!”

We go into the living room, where we have

a  long  table  set  up  behind  the  couch,  so  that  way
the  game  can  still  be  watched  while  we  eat.  Big
football  fans  round’  these  parts.  Kennedy  gives
Preston and Ry’s dad a hug. Ryland greets her with
a  tight  smile  and  a  handshake.  She  blushes  and  I
chuckle  to  myself.  He  has  that  effect  on  most
women.  Especially  being  a  single  father.  I  told  Ry,
even though it’s almost been five months, he never
has  to  feel  bad  about  getting  out  there  again  when
he’s ready, if he wants to. Mac would want him to
be happy, and so does his entire family. We all do.
But he completely ignores the advances of women.
And I get it, he is still grieving.

Hell, we all are.

Greyson comes running up and taps on

Kennedy’s leg.

“Scuse me. What is your name?”

She gives him a gorgeous smile and kneels

down to his level. “Why, hello there, handsome.
My name is Kennedy, what’s your name?”

“My name is Gwayson Bennett.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Greyson.”

My little squish giggles and blushes. I think

he has a crush. “You are weally pwetty.”

“What a kind thing to say. I think you are

very handsome.”

“I have my mommies nose. And her eyes.

But evwything else is daddies.” He says with a
shrug, and we all laugh.

“You do have your mommies nose and eyes.

She was so beautiful, huh?”

“The pwettiest!”

“I agree!” Kennedy smiles at him,

completely  enamored  with  little  squish,  giving  him
her  full  attention.  She  was  a  pivotal  part  of  the
bakery  when  Mac  got  sick  and  I  needed  to  take
time  off.  She  was  a  pillar  of  strength  I  needed
desperately and was there every time I needed her.
I  look  up  and  see  Ryland  watching  the  exchange,
eyebrows  furrowed  together,  eyeing  Kennedy,  not
taking his gaze off of her.

Interesting.

We all sit at the table, and my heart cracks a

bit. We are missing such a huge piece of this family.

We have her picture at the end of the table, still
giving her, her place. Damn, I miss her. Preston
throws his arm around my shoulders and brings me
to him, kissing the side of my head. I turn and look
up to him so he can press a kiss to my lips next. He
never disappoints. I grin at him.

“I love you, Pres.”

“And I love you, Angel.” He gives me

another quick kiss and then says, “Let’s eat. I’m
fucking starving.”

“Swear jar! You said a bad word!” Greyson

runs out of his seat to grab the jar that Preston and I
fill every time we are here. Everyone laughs and as
Greyson comes back, Preston asks.

“Can I just put a twenty in here and pre-

pay?”

“No. You need to learn a lesson evwy time

you’re naughty, Uncle Pwes.”

Everyone breaks out in laughter, and Grey

smiles. He loves being the center of attention. I
look around the room and the people that surround
me.

My village. I wouldn’t be where I am

without them.

◆◆◆

Today has been the lightest I have felt in

months.  Even  though  Mackenzie  wasn’t  there
physically,  she  was  with  us  in  every  other  sense.
Everyone  felt  it.  I  think  everyone  smiled  more
today than they have in a while, too. Preston and I
are on our way back home, hands held together and
grins  on  our  lips.  I  haven’t  told  him  yet,  and  he
hasn’t pressed it at all, but I’m finally ready.

I tried to make love to him a month ago, but

I freaked the hell out. All I could see was Damon’s
face. But I have made so much progress since then.
And I need this. I need him. We get home and into
the house and he plops on the couch and turns on
the TV.

“Need anything, Angel?”

“No babe, I’m gonna shower really quick,

though.”

He gives me a white smile. “Okay. Holler if

you need me.”

I turn around and a sneaky smile takes over

my  face,  anticipation  and  excitement  filling  me
more than anxiety and fear. And that is how I know
this is right. I hop in the shower but pin up my hair
because it’s already cleaned and curled. I wash and
shave, and once I’m done, I get out and lotion my
body.  I  put  on  my  favorite  lingerie  I  got  before
everything  happened  and  haven’t  gotten  to  wear
yet. It’s a racy and lacy black bra, matching thong
and garters. Even I am impressed when I look into
the mirror. Tattoos decorating my body, long black
curly hair cascading down my back and a confident
smile on my face.

I spritz some perfume and enter the

bedroom and sit on my knees, hands on my thighs
in a submissive position, in the middle of the bed. I
take a deep breath.

“Hey, Pres! Can you come here?” I yell out,

doing my best to bite back a grin.

“Yeah, Angel!” I hear him shut off the TV

and I aim my head down but look at him through
the top of my eyes as he enters. He freezes and his
mouth drops open and he drops the remote.

I try my best to not laugh at his reaction but

having this effect on a man is fucking powerful.

“Holy fuck.”

A seductive smile grows on my lips, waiting

for his instruction. He walks over to me, lifting my
chin with his finger, looking me directly in the eyes.

“You’re ready.”

I nod my head, confirming his statement.

“Good girl.”

Those two words. Yeah, I’m so ready.

“You have all the control, Angel. I may give

you direction, but it is you that holds the power.”

I nod my head in understanding.

“Come to the edge of the bed, take of my

belt, Angel.”

My heart races faster in anticipation, my

hands  are  shaky.  But  I  feel  no  fear.  Absolutely
none,  because  I  know  this  man  would  never  hurt
me.  He  takes  off  his  shirt  and  throws  it  across  the
room.  I  lick  my  lips  because  he  looks  fucking
delicious.  I  see  him  smirk  at  my  reaction  and  I
lightly chuckle.

“Take me out, Angel. Then back on the

bed.”

I do as he asks, mouthwatering, every nerve

in my body tingling. I lay back on the bed, my chest
rising and falling as Preston lays over me.

“Tell me to stop anytime, Angel. I mean it.”

“I will. But I need you, Preston. I need you

to erase what he did. I need it like my next breath. I
need  you.”  I  say  desperately.  His  mouth
immediately  covers  mine,  teasing,  nipping  and
playing.  I’m  so  ready  for  him,  I  can’t  take  it
anymore.  He  finally  gives  me  what  I’ve  been
craving. And I feel no fear, no pain, no anxiety.

I feel loved.

I feel cherished.

I feel his.

Tears roll down my face, but it’s because

I’m so fucking lucky to have him.

“I love you so much, Preston.”

“I’ll love you for the rest of my life, Talia.”

Piece by piece. He holds them and puts

them back together.

Epilogue

Three Months Later

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife!”

Preston grabs my face and devours my lips

as Ryland, his parents and Greyson cheer us on in
the small Vegas chapel.

Yep, we eloped in Vegas. I’m wearing a

black strapless mermaid dress and Preston is in suit
pants, a black button up and a black leather jacket.
Weird, but it is hot as hell on him. We both sat each
other down a month ago because we had something
to “talk about”. Well, we both wanted to get
married. We laughed for thirty minutes and then
screwed on every surface of the house.

Priorities.

We leave to go to Ireland tomorrow. Pub

hopping and exploring. I am beyond excited to start
this chapter of my life. Ready to leave this last
season behind and move forward with the ones I

love. With the ones who mean the entire world to
me.

I had a checkup with my doctor recently. I

wanted  to  get  tested  and  also  do  a  fertility  test.
Thankfully,  I  didn’t  get  pregnant  from  Damon.  A
blessing  I  was  so  happy  to  receive,  and  I  have  a
clean  bill  of  health.  I  think  I  cried  happy  tears  for
two  hours  straight,  not  having  to  worry  about
bringing  something  from  my  past  into  my  future.
I’ve made remarkable leaps in my healing journey,
and  it’s  because  of  the  people  around  me  today.
And I’ve been down this path before. The person I
chose  to  grow  into,  wanted  to  be  the  person  who
uses  her  trials  to  help  others.  I  refuse  to  play  the
poor  victim.  Even  though  that  is  exactly  what  I
was,  I  am  choosing  to  use  it  to  grow.  Help  others.
So  now  I  am  getting  an  online  certificate  to  help
and  mentor  victims  of  abuse,  and  volunteer  at  a
local center.

I’ve never been prouder to help these young

women and men.

I look over at my beautiful husband and

smile.

“You put me back together. All my pieces

and all my chips, you mended them back together,
stronger than I ever was before.”

“No, Angel. You mended them. I devoted

myself to give you the love that you needed in
order to do it.”

“Fuck, I love you.”

“I love you, Angel.” His eyes scour the

room, “What do you say we sneak out and christen
the car as a married couple.”

“I’d say, hell yes. Take me, husband.”

“Good girl.” He growls into my ear as he

hauls me up over his shoulder and I laugh loudly in
surprise.

“You have a great ass, husband.”

“I can say the same thing to you, wife.”

We make it to the car, and we are sitting in

the back. Just like we did all those years ago. No
idea what was in store for us. And with everything
that has happened, and that has brought me to this
moment. This sweet moment with my husband…

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Bonus Scene

Ryland

“Hey Dad! I’m gonna be late for baseball!”

“I’m coming, bud!” I reassure my son as I

make sure I have all his gear. It has been a full year
since I lost the love of my life. To say it hasn’t been
a whirlwind would be a complete lie. I still reach
over and feel for her in the middle of the night, only
for my heart to ache and break all over again. I still
look for her, baking in the kitchen or making coffee
when I come downstairs in the morning.

I miss her in the little moments. When

Greyson gets an A or hits the ball during a game. I
look for her, but she’s not there. I feel her around
me though, and it brings more comfort than what is
normal, but it’s those moments I depend on to get
me through to the next moment.

“Alright, Grey, go get in the car-” I say but

I’m cut off by the knock on the door. “Hang tight,
bud. You’ll be on time, I promise.”

My son rolls his eyes at me. For a five-year-

old, he sure has an attitude.

I open the door and my eyes open wide

when I see that it’s Kennedy.

“Hey, I’m so sorry to drop by like this. But I

think I left my phone here last night. It was dead
though, so I haven’t been able to call it.”

“Oh, uh. Yeah, sure come in.” Talia,

Preston, my parents and Kennedy all came over for
game night last night. I think it was the first time I
allowed  myself  to  laugh,  and  I  mean  really  laugh,
since I lost Mackenzie. I stare the wavy, red-headed
woman  in  front  of  me.  Soft  blue  eyes  and  a
smattering  of  freckles  covering  her  face.  As  much
as I try to deny it, she’s damn beautiful.

I move to the side and let her in, and she

sees Greyson, “Hey bud!”

“Kennedy!” Grey yells and practically

jumps  in  her  arms  with  an  enthusiasm  he  rarely
gives  me  anymore.  “Will  you  come  to  my  game?
Please,  please,  please,  please,  pleeeeeease?”  Wow.
He is laying it on thick.

She hesitates, “Oh, um. I don’t-” Flicking

her eyes between me and my son.

“You’re more than welcome to come,

Kennedy.” I speak up. She’s so nervous around me
it’s almost comical. I thought Mackenzie was bad,
Kennedy has known me for a long time, and still
stutters.

She looks to Grey who is now pleading with

his hands together and bottom lip pushed out. She
smiles, “Well, I can’t say no to that cute face, can
I?”

“Nope! Now let’s go, slowpokes!” We both

laugh.

“I’m just gonna check for my phone really

quick and I’ll be out.” I nod my head and make my
way out to the truck, throwing his gear in the back,
then back up to lock the house up. She comes out a
moment later waving her phone with a shy smile.

“In between the cushions.” She chuckles,

“Thanks. I’ll uh, I’ll follow you guys there?”

“You can ride with us, come on!” Greyson

yells out the truck window.

She goes to refuse, but something in me

speaks up. “He’s right. You can ride with us. We’re

gonna have burgers after too. It’s a nice day, you’re
welcome to join us.”

Her eyes open wide and her mouth slightly

opens, I almost laugh, but I keep it to a smile.

“Um. O-okay. Let me just grab my bag.”

She runs to her car and grabs her bag and jogs back
to me. “Are you sure? I can drive…”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure.”

She bites her lips and looks away, but when

she looks up, she’s wearing a shy smile I’ve never
seen before and it’s a little hard to swallow.

What the hell did I just get myself into?

To Be Continued…

Helplines

Mental, physical and sexual abuse, and drug

addiction, occurs every day in the lives of men and
women of all ages. It is extremely serious, and if
you or your loved one is suffering, please reach out
for help.

National Drug Helpline: 1-844-289-0879

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-

4673

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-

799-7233

Please reach out, there are so many who

believe you and will help you.

Your story matters.

You matter.

So much love to you <3

Acknowledgments

First off, thank YOU! For reading this book

and  giving  it  a  shot.  I  am  so  grateful  you  took  the
time  to  read  my  words.  I  am  truly  humbled  and
honored  to  put  my  words  out  there.  This  story
meant a lot to me on another level. I’ve been a part
of, and know people, who have been a part of these
experiences in this book. While fiction, serious and
devastating things such as these happen every day.
My  heart  breaks  for  every  single  boy,  girl,  man  or
woman  who  has  suffered  at  the  hands  of  someone
else.  Not  only  that,  but  if  they  have  tried  to  reach
out, and either weren’t believed, or no one took the
time to help them.

My heart breaks for every addict, and every

family member of an addict. It is not easy, and it is
devastating.

Please, if you feel you have no one, email

me, DM me, or call the numbers on the previous
page. My ear is always available for listening.

Thank you again for giving life to Talia and

Preston. They will forever hold a piece of my heart.

What’s Next?

Will Ryland get his happily ever after?

You’ll have to wait and see ;)

I have several ideas brewing – Follow me

on social media for the latest updates :)

Connect with Me On:

I am most active on Instagram: @kmichelleauthor

Facebook: facebook.com/kmichellebooks

Email: kmichellebooks@gmail.com

Website:

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