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Laura'sBaby

By

RebeccaWinters


ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

RebeccaWintersisamuch-publishedandinternationallypopularwriter;
she'salsowonquiteafewawards,includingtheNationalReaders'
ChoiceAwardandtheRomanticTimesReviewers'ChoiceAward.Notonly
that,shewasnamedthe1995UtahWriteroftheYear.Rebeccais
well-knownforherfascinatingstoryideasandherintense,emotional
writing.AsbestsellingauthorDebbieMacomberhassaid,"Rebecca
Winterswritesfromtheheart.Shehastheabilitytomakemelaughor
cry.Mostlyshemakesmecare."ReadersofLauraBabywillagree.

CHAPTERONE

TovmsrsANDMEMBERSofthepresscrowdedthereceptionareaofthe
HotelMetropole.Onlyoneclerk,

hishandsgesticulatingwildlywithfrustration,appearedtobemanning
thefrontdesk.

LauraDonettiwasalmostdeadonherfeetassheapproachedhim,thanks
tothelongcrowdedL.A.to-Brusselsflightandsubsequentdriveina
rentalcartoSt.Leger.Shefoughtanoppressivefatigueasshehalf
listenedtothecacophonyofvoices,speakingadozendifferent
languages,surroundingher.She'dprobablycaughtherlittleniece's

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cold.

"Oui,mademoiselle?"theharriedclerksaid,thennodoubtrecognizing
herasanAmerican,added,"HowmayIhelpyou?"

"I'mTonyDonetti'swife.He'sherewiththeZiffteam."Whentheman
frownedsheexplained,"Youknow,Ziff?ItstandsforZindel
Foto-Films?They'retheBelgianteamfortheTourdeFrance."The
ownersoftheBelgianteamhadbeenplaguedwithproblemsinthepast,
sothey'dgoneonatalentsearchandhadfoundcyclistsfromseveral
differentnationswhohadgainedoutstandingreputationsinthesport,
Tonyamongthem."Couldyoutellmewhichroomishis?"

Thankheavenshedidn'tneedaroom.Therewasn'tonetobefound
anywhere.Theworld'sgreatestannualbikingeventhadattracted
thousandsofcyclingenthusiaststothestartingpointoftheracein
St.Leger,onlyafewmilesfromtheLuxembourgborder.

AftercheckingintothesmallerHotelBeaulieuaroundthecorner,
whereareservationhadbeenmadeaheadoftimefortheteammembers'
families,she'dtriedtophoneTonyattheMetropole,butkeptgetting
abusysignal.Eitherheortheteammateheroomedwithwasholdinga
lengthyconversationwiththeircoach,oroneofthemhadtakenthe
receiveroffthehook.

Theexasperatedhotelclerkshookhishead."Youarethesecondwoman
todayinsistingthatsheishiswifeandmustseehim.Jeregrette."

Groupies.TheinevitableresultofTony'srisingpopularityamongthe
sportscrowd.Shewassickenedbytheknowledgethatherhusbandloved
thatsideofhisrisetofame.

"Perhapsthiswillconvinceyou."Shewhippedoutherpassport,plus
somewallet-sizephotosofthetwoofthemtogether."I'mstayingat
theBeaulieu.IfyouwishtoringovertheretoverifywhoIam..."

"YouthinkIhavetimetomakeaphonecallwiththiscrowd?"Hethrew
hishandsintheair."TrbsbierrButitwillbeonyourhead,eh?
Roomtwentytwo."Sheknewitwouldbefutiletoaskforakey."Thank
you."

Lauraturnedawayfromthedeskandbeganworkingherwaythroughthe
throngofpeople.Whenherhusbandwasontheracingcircuit,trying
togetintouchwithhimwasliketryingtospeaktothepresident.And
beforearacesuchasthisone,well.heronlychoicehadbeento

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walktheshortdistancethroughthecrowdsandstiflinglate-Juneheat
totheMetropole.

Tonywouldprobablybesurprisedtoseeheronthedoorstepofhis
hotelroom.Thelasttimethey'dbeentogetherhadbeenfiveweeksago
whentheirtwo-dayreunionhadturnedintodisaster.Toorestlessto
stayintheirapartmentforfiveminutes,letalonetalkaboutthe
sorrystateoftheirmarriage,he'dmadeperfunctorylovetoher,then
toldherheneededtogetoutandtalktohiscyclingbuddies.That
hadspelledtheendoftheirprivatetimetogether.

"Look,April!"LauraheardsomeonewhisperinanAmericanaccentas
shepassedagroupofpeopleonthestairs."Isn'tthatMargofrom"
TheWayThingsAre'?Canyoubelieveit?She'sevenmorebeautifulin
person!"

Lauragroanedanddartedupthesecondflight.Beingrecognizedfor
herroleasthespitfireattorneyinapopularsoapoperawasadaily
occurrencebackhomeinCalifornia.Butsomehowshehadn'texpectlto
bespottedquitesoeasilyhere.Fortheinternationalscenewas
Tony'sarena.

SpeculationthathecouldwintheTourdeFrance,beatingoutEmesto
Farramundi,thefour-timewinnerandfavorite,hadspurredTony's
ambition.

EveniftheZiffteamdidn'twin,sheknewthatwhentheTourdeFrance
wasover,TonywouldwantachanceattheOlympics.Obsessedwith
racing,he'dcontinuetopursuenewheights.Muchtothe
disappointmentofhisfamily,nottomentionhers,hisplanstoattend
lawschoolhadbeencastaside.

Whenshe'dacceptedhisproposalofmarriagesixyearsago,howcould
shehaveknownhisloveofcyclingwouldbecomesoall-consuming?She
certainlydidn'tbegrudgehimhisbrilliantsuccess.Butthe
compulsiveneedtowinandindulgeineveryperkthatwentwiththat
successhadtakenhimdownaroadthathadchangedhimintosomeoneshe
didn'tknowanymore.

YetLaura'srespectforherweddingvows,plusherconscience--which
wouldn'thaveallowedhertobeascrueltohimashe'dbeentoher,
especiallyontheeveofthebigrace--hadbroughthertoEurope.And
incasehelostouttomorrowandmadeapoorshowingduringthe
prologue--thetorturoustimetrials--shedidn'twanthimtouseher
nonappearanceo3thereasonforhisfailure.Sheknewhe'dlovetodo

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that,becausethatwashowhismindworked.Sherefusedtogivehim
thatopportunity.Instead,sheplannedtobecloseathandevery
kilometeroftherace.

Besides,everycompetitorneededfamilysupport.Ifshedidn'tshow
up,nomemberoftheDonettifamilywouldbetherecheeringhimon.
Eventhoughthelovehadgoneoutoftheirmarriagealongtimeago,
shedidn'twanttheirmaritalproblemstothreatenhischancestomake
anameforhimselfintheannalsofsportshistory.

Shecouldwellimaginewhatthemediawouldmakeofherabsence.They
werealwaysgnawingattheheelsofcelebrities,especiallyarising
sportsstarlikeTony.BecausesheandTonybothhadhighlyvisible
profiles,itwasevenmorevitaltheypresentaunitedfront.

Therewereotherlessaltruisticconsiderations,aswell,shemusedas
sheapproachedtheroomwherehe'dbeenstaying.Withdetermination,
sheliftedherhandandknockedonthedoor.Untilfiveweeksago
she'ddoggedlyclungtothefainthopethattheirmarriagecouldbe
salvaged.Butshedidn'tbelievethatanymoreandhadmadethe
decisiontofilefordivorce.Deepdownsheknewitwaswhathe'd
wantedforalonglongtime.Nowhewouldgethiswishbecausefinally
itwaswhatshewanted,toot

ZACmRYWtLOEhadjuststeppedoutoftheshowerwhenhebeardaknock
onthedoor.Hepausedintheprocessofreachingforhisshavingkit.
TonywasnextdoorinteammateKlausWaldbillig'sroomwithsomeyoung
thinghe'dmetlastweek.

MaybeKlanshadcomeback,forcingTonytoreturntotheroomheand
Zachshared,andhe'dforgottenhiskey.Thenagain,itcouldbe
anotherfemale'fanbeatingdownthedoorstogettoTony.Itwasa
commonenoughoccurrence.

Theknocksoundedagain.

Grabbingatowel,whichhehitchedaroundhiships,

Zachstrodeacrosstheroomtoanswerit."Whoisit?"

"LauraDonetti."Tony'swife?

Zach'sfrownturnedtoagrimace.He'dnevermetMrs.Donetti.

Untilhe'dcometoBelgiuminMarchtotrainwiththeteamchosenby

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theirsponsor,ZindelFoto-Films,he'dhadnoideathearrogant
high-livingwomanizingTonyDonettievenhadawife.

BecausetheyweretheonlyAmericansontheBelgian-sponsoredteam,
they'droomedtogetheronandoffthroughoutthespring.Zachhadbeen
forcedtolistentomanyuncomplimentary,evenscathingremarksabout
Tony'sspouse,mostofwhichZachwasn'tcertainhebelieved,atleast
notcomingfromthemouthofsuchaworld-classjerk.Ifanything,he
feltsorryforanywomanfoolishenoughtomarrytheguyinthefirst
place.

Ontheotherhand,maybeshewasTony'smatch.Maybeshedidn'tcare
whathedidoutofherpresence,solongasshehadatrophyhusbandto
brandishbeforetheworld.Ifthatwasthecase,hesupposedthey
deservedeachother.

Butwhateverthesituation,Zachcouldn'tignoretherealitythat
Tony'swifewasattheirdoor,andTonywasinthenextroom--with
anotherwoman.

Howevermuchhedislikedhisroommateanddespisedhisire-style,Zach
hadnodesireforanymemberoftheteamtogetcaughtinanugly
situationthisclosetotomorrow'sprologue.Manycyclingexperts,
Zachincluded,believedthatTonywasoneofthetopcontendersforthe
maillotjaune,thecovetedyellowjerseyproclaimingthewinner.

UnfortunatelyTony'sappetiteforwomenwasbecomingwell-known.Ifat
thispointthemediagotholdofanythingsalacious,they'dcreatea
scandalthatcouldtainteverythingtheteamhadbeenworkingfor.

Atthirty-threeZachwasprobablytheoldestcompetitorintheTourde
France.Thiswashisoneshotattherace.He'dneededachallengeto
testhismettleaftersurvivingabrokenengagementmorethanayear
before.WhentheTourdeFrancewasover,hewouldquitthecycling
worldaltogetherandtakeoffforpartsunknown.

ButrightnowLauraDonetti'sunexpectedarrivalcouldmeanthattheir
mostimportantteammembermightheinahellofalotoftrouble.Zach
realizeditwasuptohimtoavertdisaster.

"Justaminute,"hecalled.

HepulledonaT-shirt,shortsandrunningshoes,thendashedbackto
thedoorandopenedit."Sorryaboutthat,Mrs.Donetti,"he
murmured."Ihadtogetdressedfirst.Comein."

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"Thankyou.I-isn'thehere?"sheaskedinaslightlyhuskyvoice.
Eyesofdarkbrownvelvet,heavilyfringedwithblacklashes,lookedat
himinconfusion.

Lord.Tonyhadn'texaggerated.Hissoap-opera-star

wifewasgorgeous.Zach'sgazemovedfromhershortcurlyblackhair
toherfacewithitssmootholive-tonedskinandwidefullmouth,then
tohervoluptuousbody,whichdidwondersforthesimplewhite
two-piecesuitshewaswearing.Shewasevenmorestrikingbecauseof
herheight.Fivefootseven,atleast.

Suddenlyhehadreasontoreassesshisthinking.Awomanas
exquisitelybeautifulasshewas,whomadeherlivingasasoap-opera
queen,couldquiteeasilybeguiltyofeverysinherhusbandhad
accusedherofandthensome.

Morethanlikelyshedrewattractivemalestarsonandofftheset.
MayheTony'sflamboyantcharmhadlostsomeofitsappeal.Particularly
whenheandhiswifeledsuchdivergentlivesondifferent
continents.

OrmayheTonywastrulyinlovewithherandshe'dlostinterest.
Possiblythatwaswhyheseemccldriventoactthewayhedid.An
efforttodullthepainoflosingherlove.

"No,"Zachreplied."Hejuststeppedout,buthe'llbebacksoon.I'm
ZachWilde,theguyhe'sheenroomingwith."

"Fveheardalotaboutyou,Zach,professionallyandotherwise,andall
ofitgood.You'realittletallerthanI'dimagined.Isthatwhy
theycallyouKingoftheMountain?"

Zachsmiled,surprisedsheevenknewthetenn."Tmjustkidding,"she
murmured."Iknowwhytheysaythataboutyou.Becauseyou,rethe
bestontheclimbs."Sheextendedherhand.

Astheyshook,hehadtoadmitshewasgood.Sheknewhowtomakea
manfeelimportant,special.Itwasatraitthatwasdynamiteonand
offtheset,nodoubt,andprobablyhadTonyonhiskneesthefirst
timehe'dmether.

"AllIhavetoofferiswarmPerrierwater.Wouldyoulikesome?"

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Shenodded,lookingflushed."I'dloveit,ifit'snottoomuch
trouble.,"

"Notroubleatall."

Whilehetookthecapoffthebottlehe'dswipedfromthetableheand
Tonyusedfortheirmealsandpouredthesparklingwaterintoaglass,
hiseyesfollowedherprogress.Withalltheirracinggearscattered
about,theroomwasadisaster.Shehadtodoalittlerearrangingto
makeaplaceforherselfononeofthechairs.

Whenshecrossedthoselongshapelylegs,hecouldbetterunderstand
certainoffhandremarksTonyhadmade,suchasthethinghehadfor
well-builtbrunettes.

Apparentlyhe'dmethisstunningwifeduringapublicityshootafter
winningtheShopwiseDrugClassicRaceinCalifornia.He'dpursuedher
relentlessly,andthey'dmarriedquicklywithoutevergetfng
engaged.

Zachhadbeenengagedtwice.Onceinhisearlytwentiestoayoung
womanwho'ddiedunexpectedlyofabraintumor.YearslaterinUtahhe
sufferedthroughalonghellishsecondengagement,onlytoloseoutin
theend.

IthadbeenfourteenmonthssinceZachhadleft

Utah.Inthattimehe'dcometogripswiththefactthatRosie's
husband,who'dbeenpresumeddeadafterhewentmissinginaction
duringOperationDesertStorm,hadsuddenlycomebacktolifeseven
yearslaterandreturnedhometoclaimhiswife.

Givenhisownhistory,ZachcouldseeTony'spointinnotwastingtime
onceyoufoundwhatyouwanted.Buttheracingstarseemedtolivehis
lifetooimpulsively.Forcertainlyitseemedsomethinghadgonewrong
intheirmarriage.

Whatwasshe?Alloftwenty-seven,twenty-eight?Adangerousageto
livesomanythousandsofmilesawayfromherhusbandandlookinglike
theembodimentofmostmen'sfantasies.

Evenyours,Wilde?

Zachhadalwaysappreciatedbeautyinanyform,andhealwayswould.If
hewasbeingcompletelyhonest,hehadtoadmitthatLauraDonetti's

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lookswereexceptional.Morethanthat,hersexappealreachedoutto
himlikealivingthing.

Howodd.Upuntilthisminutehe'dthoughthe'dlosttheabilityto
respondthisstronglytoawoman,nomatterhowgorgeous.

"Hereyougo."Hehandedhertheglass,thenreturnedtotheproject
he'dbegunbeforehisshower--liningtheinnersoleofhisrightbiking
shoewhereitrubbedagainsthisheel.Hewonderedifheshouldask
hertowaitwhilehewent"lookingforTony."

"Iassumeyou'vealreadycheckedinattheBean-lieu,"hesaid,
instead.

Shenodded."Yes.Theplaceisamadhouse."

Heflashedherasmile."You'reright.Mybrother,Richard,andhis
familyarestayingthere,too.I'ilhavetointroduceyoutohiswife,
Bey.Sheandthekidsaregoingtobedoingsomeotheractivities
whileRicharddrivesoneofthesupportwagons.Howlongareyougoing
tobehere?Mayheyoucandoalittleshoppingandsight-seeingwith
them.Beywouldenjoythecompany."

"That'sverykindofyoutooffer,butIarrangedforaleaveof
absencefromthesetsoIcanfollowTonyaroundinoneofthesupport
vehicles,too.Hisauntanduncledon't..."Shepaused."Hisfamily
can'tbehere."

Zachblinkedinsurprise.Tonyhadalwaysbeenvagueaboutthepeople
who'draisedhim,buthehadsaidthatLaurahatedcyclingandhadn't
beentohislastsixmajorraces.Inoneofthem,theParis-Roubaix,
he'dsetaworldrecordandLaurahadn'tevenknownaboutit.

"Y-youdon'tthinkhe'llmind,doyou?"

"Ofcoursenot,"Zachcamebackforcefully,tryingtorecoverfromhis
surprise.

"That'sgood.Whenyoudidn'tsayanything,Ithought..."Shebent
herhead."Well,it'snotimportantwhatIthought"

Heputdowntheshoehe'dbeenworkingonandeyedherlevelly."IfI
seemsurprised,it'sbecausehe'stoldmehowdifficultitisforyou
tobreakawayfromyourtapings."

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Awrysmileanimatedherfeatures,givingheranotherdimension,
almostanimpishappeal."Notwhenyourparentshelpproducethe
show."

AnotherthingTonyhadneglectedtomention.Onedarkblondbrow
lifted."Yourparentsareinshowbiz,too?"

Shenodded."Soaremysisterandherhusband.They'rescreenwriters.
Icouldn'tescapeitIguess,butsinceI'mtheonlyonewithoutany
realtalent,Iact."Shelaughedlightly.

"AccordingtoTony,you'reafamoussoapstar."

"IfIwerefamous,evenyouwouldknowaboutme,"

"Even/?"Hesmiledback,disarmedbyherhumility.Ifitwasalla
facade,shewasabetteractorthanhe'drealized.

"Tonytellsmeyoueat,drinkandsleepracing.Nowomen,noalcohol,
nodistractions.Whichprobablymeansyouhaven'twatchedtelevision
inyears."

HissmilebroadencA"You'reright.Ihaven't."

"Exceptmaybeaspecialonracing."

"Orthecoach'svideosonourteam'sperformancetopointoutour
weaknesses,"hesaidwryly.

"Yousee?shesaid."Itonlymakessensethatyouwouldn'tknowI'm
reallyatwo-bitactorplayingthepartofanoutrageousfire-breathing
attorney.ButtheyputmeinacarcrashandnowI'minacoma,soI

couldcomeandhewithTony."

Zachchuckled.

"That'swhathappenswhenyourparentshaveclout,"sheconfessed."Of
course,it'sasecret--abouttheaccidentandcoma,Imean---soplease
don'ttellanyone.Theviewerswon'tknowithappenedforacoupleof
monthsbecauseeverything'sshotsofarahead."'

"Andsowhenyoureturntotheset..."

"Yes.I'llhavemiraculouslycomeoutofthecoma."

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Hischuckleturnedintolaughter.Mayheitwascontagious,becauseher
facebrokeoutinafullunguardedsmile.Zachfelthispulseleap.

"TheywouldhaveputmeinacomaearliersoIcouldflyoverforthe
TourofLuxembourgraceawhileback.ButTonytoldmenotto..."She
haltedinmid-sentenceagain.Ahabitofhers."Anyway,itdoesn't
matter,becauseI'mherenowandanxioustobeofsupporttohim."

Zachturnedaway.Thiswasallnewstohim,unlesseverythingshe'd
toldhimwasalie.Hedidn'tknowwhathebelievedandcouldn't
figureoutwhyitmatteredonewayoranother.

Ithadnothingtodowithhim.Theirmaritalproblemswerenoneofhis
business.Whatconcernedhimwasthattheteambepsychologically
readyfortomorrow.

InawayheworriedthatwhenTonyfoundoutthathiswifehadcomeand
plannedtofollowtheentirerace,itmightthrowhimoff.

Zachinhaledsharply.Tonyremindedhimofahigh-strungstallion.The
lastthingtheteamneededright

nowwasadisplayofTony'svolatility.Itcouldaffecteveryone.

"Tellyouwhat,"Zachsaid."I'mgoingtogoaskaroundandfindout
what'skeepingyourhusband.Makeyourselfathome.I'llbebackina
minute."

"No,pleasedon'tbother,"shesaid,androsetoherrfeet."I
appreciateyourwillingnesstolookforhim,buthecouldbeanywhere
and"

"I'dliketohelp,"heinsisted,realizingthattherealreasonhe
didn'twanthertoleavewasthathewasenjoyinghercompany.Maybe
KlaushadapointwhenheteasedZachabout"allworkandnoplay."

"Iknowyouwould.You'reverykind.ButI'mtiredandneedtolie
downforawhile,anyway,soI'llgobacktotheBeaulieu.Whenyou
seehim,tellhimtophoneme.I'minroomeight."

HerdeterminationfrustratedZachinwayshecouldn'tunderstand.If
itwasuptohim,hewouldn'tlethergo."You'resure?"heasked.

"Yes.Thankyou."

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Behindherpoiseddemeanor,feignedornot,hesensedresignationmixed
withacertaindegreeofagitation.Shewas,infact,amassof
contradictions.Rightnowbedidn'tknowwhattomakeofLaura
Donetti,letalonehisowntroublingreactiontoher.

AsforTony,thesoonerthatidiotknewhiswifehadarrived,the
better.Theirteammanager,Leon,whoalsodoubledastheir
psychologist,wouldneedto,beinformedofthenewdevelopment,as
well.He'ddefinitelywantachatwiththeirnumber-oneboybeforethe
daywasout.

Zachprecededhertothedoor,openeditandsteppedintothehall,
hopingtowarnTonyshouldhesuddenlyemergefromtheotherroomwith
hislatestplaythingintow.

Tohisrelief,allwasquietattheirendofthedimlyithall."Come
on.I'llwalkyoudownstairs,"hesaid,thinkinghe'druninterference
onthewayifnecessary."Maybewe'llcatchsightofanotherteam
memberwhoknowswhereheis."

"Thankyou,butIhateputtingyouout."

Hefoundhimselfavidlydefendinghisposition."You'renot!Ineeda
newpackofrazorblades,andnowisasgoodatimeasanytoget
one."

Theywalkedthelengthofthehallandstarteddownthestairs."I
broughtabunchofthemandsomeshavinggelincaseTonyrunsout,"
shesaid."They'rethekindheswearsgivehislegsthebestshave.
BeforeImethim,Ihadnoideahowimportantitwastoremovethehair
sotheskincouldbecooledbyperspiration."

"Littledetailslikethatmakeabigdifference,"Zachconcurred.

"Ifyou'llcometothehotelwithme,youcanhaveasmanypacksasyou
need."

OnceagainZachwasstruckbyhernaturaldown-to-earthattitude,which
wasattotaloddswiththepictureTonyhadpaintedofaselfish
man-eatingtelevisionstarinlovewithherownimage.

Unlessthiswasherwayofcomingontoamansohedidn'tknowwhat
hithimuntilitwastoolate.Butinhisgut,Zachfeltherofferwas
ahundred-percentgenuine.So,untilsheshowedthesidethatTonyhad

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talkedabout,he'dreservetherighttothinkwhateverhewanted.

"Well,ifTonyendorsesthem,thenwhoamItorefusesuchagenerous
offer?"

Itmighthejustaswellifheescortedhertoherhotel.Afterseeing
hertothedoor,hecouldgotohisbrother'sroomandringKlaus.If
Tonywasstillthere,hecouldalerthim,andifKlausanswered,he
couldtellhimtosearchforTonyuntilhefoundhim.

Atthesecond-floorlandingshesaid,"Ialsobroughtasackfulofmy
homemadepacketsofgranolawiththelittledark-chocolatemorselshe
loves.You'rewelcometosomeofthose,too."Atraceofanxiety
lurkedinhereyeswhileshewasmakingtheoffer.

"I'dneverturndownagiftlikethat.SomethingtellsmeI've
miraculouslyglommedontoTony'ssecretweapon.We'veallwondered
wherehesuddenlyfindstheenergytogoonwhentherestofusare
readytoliedownanddie."

Sheactuallyblushed."IgIdon'tknowaboutthat,butIdo
express-mallhimadozenofthembeforeeveryrace."

Zachhadhadnoidea."Luckyguy,"hemurmuredbeforeherealizedthe
wordshadescapedhislips.

MorethaneverTony'swifewasturningouttobethesurpriseofthe
season.

"It'sjustalittlesomethingtoremembermebywhenhe...Ican'tbe
there."

Zachcaughtthechangeinpronounsandcontinueddownthenextflight
ofstairsalittleaheadofher,puzzledbythelargenumberof
conflictingfactorsintheDonettimarriage.

Theminutethecrowdedlobbycameintoview,severalcamerasflashedin
succession,brieflyrobbinghimofhisvision.IfTonyhadmadean
appearancedownhere,thepresswouldhavebeenalloverhim,which
meanthewasstillupstairs.SuddenlyZachheardpeoplepointingout
himandLaura.Hecursedunderhisbreathandfelthertremblinghand
onhisarmwithasenseofwonder.Anactorcouldfakealotof
things,butnotnervousness,whichinthiscaseappearedtoborderon
panic.

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Amemberoftheinternationalpressstartedtoapproachthem."Mrs.
Donetti,Mr.Wilde...howaboutaninterviewbeforetomorrow's
race?"

Damn.

"There'llbeateampressconferencelatertonight."Withoutconscious
thoughtZachgraspedLaura'shandandwhispered,"Comeon."

Shedidn'tseemtoneedanyurging.Infact,sherantokeepupwith
hislongstrides.Oncetheywereoutonthestreet,sheletgoofhis
handbutkeptupherpacetostayabreastofhim.

"Thanksforgettingusoutofthere."

"Sometimesthepaparazzicanbeapain."

Sheshookherhead,drawinghisattentiontotheglisteningblackcurls
thatframedtheperfectovalofherface."I'llnevergetusedto
them.TonyalwaysordersmetosmileandsaysIshouldtellthemwhat
theywanttohear.Isupposeit'stheonlywaytosurvive,butI'm
afraidit'snotme,ifyouknowwhat"Imean."

Zachknewonlytoowell,butshe'dsurprisedhimonceagain.Apparently
shewasasviolentlyopposedtounsolicitedpublicityashewas.More
andmorehewasbeginningtofeel'shameforsomeofthethoughtshe'd
harboredaboutherwhenshe'dannouncedherpresenceontheotherside
ofhishotel-roomdooralittlewhileago.

KlausandfellowteammemberJean-LucVadim,bothintheirearly
twentiesandunmarried,hadlaidbetsthatTony'swifewouldn'tshowup
atall,orifshedid,itwouldhavemoretodowithherneedthanher
husband's,tobeinthelimelight.

Theywentsofarastospeculatethatifsheshouldactuallymakean
appearanceinSt.Legerforthebigday,shewouldprobablybe
motivatedbyamoney-grubbingpublicityagentwhocouldsmellared-hot
opponity."SoapqueenuniteswithcyclingkingforTourdeFrance
debut."Thestuffthatsoldnewspapersandpaidsix-digitsalaries.
AnywomanmarriedtoTonyDonettihadtoknowexactlywhatwentonwhen
hewasn'tburninguptheroadwinningonebigraceafteranother.She
obviouslydidn'tgiveadamn.Howwrongcouldeveryonehavebeen?

TheBeaulieuwasindeedamadhouse.Andtheminutetheysteppedinto
itscrowdedfoyer,anelderlyAmericanwomanrecognizedLauraandran

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uptoher,thrustingatravelmapandpeninherface.

"Please,couldIhaveyourautograph?AndsignittoDawnfromMarge?
IwatchyourshoweverydaywhenI'mhome.You'remyfavorite
character.Ialwayswantedtobeanattorney,butinmydaywomenwere
expectedtostayhome.Mydaughter'stapingitformewhilewe'rehere
...."

Whenherbabblingwounddown,Laurasmiledandsaid,"Thankyouforthe
compliment,Dawn."Shesignedthemapquicklyalongtheborder,then
handeditbacktoher."Justbetweenyouandme,I'dmuchratherstay
homeandbeamotherlikeyou'vebeen."

Thewomanlookedstunned,butnomoresothanZach,whowasagain
obligedtomakesomereadjustmentsinhisthinkingaboq.tTony's
wife.Headmiredhergraceanddignitywiththeautographseeker.He
wassuretheintrusionwasthelastthingshewantedorneeded.

"Youhandledthatlikeapro,"hesaidastheystartedupthestairs.

"It'seasyenoughtosignsomething.Muchhardertospeakinfrontof
amicrophonewhenyouknowsomeonewilltwistyourwordsandtake
everythingoutofcontext."

"Amen."

Whentheyreachedthenextfloor,shehurriedtoadoordownthe
corridorandpulledoutherkeytoopenit."Comein.I'llgetthose
thingsIpromised."

Zachhadabetteridea."Whileyoudothat,I'mgoingtostepacross
thehalltomybrother'sroom.Ifthey'rein,I'dliketointroduce
you."

Sheflashedagratefulsmile."Thatwouldbenice,"Zach.Then,I'll
seeyouinaminute."

Withanod,heturnedawayandheadedforroomnumberten.Idon't
knowthewholestoryyet,Tony,hethought.Butthere'sonethingi'd
stakemylifeon--youdon'tdeserveyourwife!

Therewasnoresponsetohisknock.Zachlethimselfintotheempty
roomwiththesparekeyRichardhadgivenhim.He'dhavetomake
introductionslater.

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AfteraquickscanofthedirectoryforthenumberoftheMetropole,he
dialedthehotelandaskedforKlans'sroom.Hewaitedafewminutes
andwastoldnoonehadanswered.

Tonywasprobablystillinthereanddidn'twanttobedisturbed.

Frustrated,Zachinstructedtheconciergetoringtheteammanager's
room.RatherthantrytohuntTonydown,hewouldexplainthe
situationtoLeonandlethimshoulderthepotentialcrisis.Thisone
wasabeaut.Buteveryoneontheteamhadajob,andproblemswere
whatLeonwasgettingpaidtosolve.

AminutelaterZachwasconnectedwithhim.Whenhetoldhimthe
situation.thatLaurawaslookingforTony,whowasprobablyin
Klaus'sroomwithsomegroupie--Leonletlooseastreamofinvective
againstTonyandhisstupidity.Assoonashe'dcalmeddown,hetold
Zachhe'dgetrightonit,thenhungup.

ZachwroteanotetohisbrothertellinghimthatTony'swifewasjust
acrossthehallandcouldprobablybenefitfromsomecompany.Thenhe
wentoutoftheroomandlockedit.

Laurahadleftthedoortoherroomajar.Zachgaveacoupleofraps
toannouncehimself,thenentered.Sheliftedherheadandseemedto
studyhim,asifshewasseeinghimforthefirsttime.

"Hi,"shesaidinasoftvoicethatsoundedsomewhattimid.Then,
apparentlyrealizinghe'dcaughtherlookingathimratherintently,
sheavertedhergazealmostguiltily.

"Hi,yourself.I'msorry--itlookslikemybrother'sfamilyisout,
butthere'llbeanotheropportunitytointroduceyoulatertonight."

Shepausedintheprocessofunpackinghersuitcase,theonlyonehe
couldseeanywhereinthetidyroom.Beyhadbroughtseveral,muchto
Richard'schagrin.Betweenthekidsandalltheparaphernalia,their
hotelroomlookedlikeatornadohadblownthrough.

"Tmsuretherewill.Hereyougo."Shehandedhimaplasticbag.

Heglancedinside.She'dwrappedeachgranolaand-chocolatesquarein
plasticwrap.

"MindifItryonenow?"heasked.

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"Ifyou'dlike."Hervoicekindofwobbled.

"Iwouldlike,"hesaid,awareofanoddlackofconfidenceinher
tone.Everytimesheopenedhermouth,heheardorfeltsomething
unexpected.

"Uh-uh-uh-uh,"saidafamiliarmalevoice."Iwasundertheimpression
thatthoseparticulartreatsweremeantonlyforme,darling."

CHAPTERTWO

ZACHWATCHEDherfacepaleasasun-bronzedTonybreezedthroughthe
opendoorsmilinghisdashingsmile.Sheappearedanythingbuthappy
toseehim,whichseemedabitstrange,consideringshe'dbeenlooking
forhim.

AsforZach,hefeltadisgustthatborderedonanger.Tonyhad
presentedsuchafalsepictureofhiswife!ItpromptedZachto
retaliate.Tohellwiththekidgloves.

"Sorry,oldman,"hesaid."ButyoursecretisfinallyouL"

Tony,Zachknew,hadlethisprostatusgotohishead,andheenjoyed
dominatingthepeoplearoundhim.OnmorethanoneoccasionZachhad
seenhimuseintimidationtogetwhathewanted.Butithadnever
workedonZach,andcertainlynotnowthatcertainthingshadcometo
light.

Withoutanycompunctionatall,Zachremovedasnack,undidthewrapper
andpoppedthewholebarintohismouth.Lauralookedapprehensive,
whichmadehimwonderwhatkindoftreatmentTonysubjectedherto.All
themorereasonforhim,Zach,towanttochampionhercause.

Withgreatrelish,hereachedintothebagforanotherbarandtooka
bite.He'dwaitandseeifhisteammateturnednasty.Tonywasknown
forhisrapidmoodswings.

Unabletoresistbaitinghim,Zachasked,"Howcomeyonnevertoldus
whatagreatcookyourwifeis?"

Tonywasangrynow."BecauseIdidn'tthinkitwasanybodyelse'sdamn
business!"hefiredback.

"Well,it'smybusinessnow."Zachflashedherawarmsmile."These
aredelicious,Laura.I'msavingtherestfortherace.Thankyou.

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Forthebladesandgel,too."

"You'rewelcome."

She'dbarelysaidthewordsbeforeherhusband'sarmwentaroundher
shoulders,pullingherclose.ButZachcouldseeitwasanythingbuta
lovinggesture,andtheanxionsexpressiononherfacespokevolumes.

"Whydidn'tyoutellmeyouwereflyingover?."heheardTonymutter
ashebrushedhertemplewithhislips.

"AssoonasIwasgivenaleaveofabsencefromtheset,Itried
phoningyonfromhome,butIcouldn'tgetthrough.ThenIphonedfrom
theairportinBrusselsandlaterfromthehotelhere,buteitherthere
wasabusysignalornoanswer.WhenIfinallywenttoyourroom,Zach
wasthereandhewasn'tsurewhereyOUWOre."

TonygaveZachamurderouslook."Sowhatareyoudoingoverhere?"

You'reworriedI'vespilledthebeans,aren'tyo.Tony?Youshouldbe
worried.

Lauramusthavepickeduponherhusband'sangbecauseshebrokein
with,"Heneededsomebladeandhewantedtointroducemetohis
family."

"That'sright,"Zachconcurred,munchingonthelastbiteofgranola.
Thebarreallywasexceptionaltasty."Someoftheotherguys'
familiesdon'tspEnglishthatwell.IthoughtmaybeLaurawouldenj
Bev'scompany."

TonyignoredZachandturnedtohiswife."Helongareyouhere
for?"

"Thewholerace.Iplantofollowyouarounducircuit,"

Ifthetautnessofhisexpressionwasanythingto{by,TOnywasn't
pleasedbythenews.ThiswasfurtherborneoutwhenTonysaid
tightly,"Webothknowyoucan'tbegonefromtheshowthatlong."

"Haven'tyonheardthelatest?"Zachpreempherresponse.

Tonyswungbacktohim,hisexpressionirritate"Whatareyoutalking
about?"

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"They'vekilledoffhercharactertoaccommodyou,Tony.You'rea
fortunatemantohavein-lawho'dallowsuchadrasticchangeinthe
scriptofnationallytelevisedprogramsoyourwifecouldIherefor
you.Ienvyyouthatkindofsupport."

Therewasatension-filledpausewhileTonyeyZachnarrowly."Then
you'llunderstandthatI'dHIsometimealonewithher."

RIBECCAWINTERS

You'rerunningscared,DonertL

Zachsmiledaspleasantlyasheknewhow."Noonewouldunderstand
thatmorethanI.TheminuteIsawLauraatthedoor,IrealizedI'dbe
minusmyroommatetonight.IwasjustgoingtosaythatI'llgoback
tothehotelandbringallyourgearoverheresoyoudon'thaveto
spendasingleminuteawayfromher."Hepaused,thenadded,"Iknow
thatifmywifehadjustarrived,I'dputaDoNotDisturbsignonthe
dooruntilfurthernotice."

Laurastartedshakingherhead.Hecaughtapleadinglookinhereyes
thatbeggedhimnottotauntTonyanyfurther."Th-that'sverykindof
you,Zach,but"

"Nobuts.That'swhatfriendsarefor,right,Tony?"Zachwas
enjoyingthisonce-in-a-lifetimemoment.Tonycouldn'tmakeevena
tokenresponse,becausehewaswellandtrulytrapped.

Nowthathislegallyweddedwifehadshownup,thesleeping
arrangementshe'dmadewithhisvariousgirlfriendsaroundthecircuit
wouldhavetobecalledoffforthedurationoftheTourdeFrance.
WithLauradrivingasupportcarforthewholeworldtosee,the
Donettimarriagewouldlooktobeonsolidground,andtheZiffteam
wouldbesparedanynegativepress.

"TIIbebackinalittlewhile."AsZachturnedtoleave,hewasaware
ofthedangerousglitterinTony'seyes.HefeltsorryforLaura,yet
forreasonsofherown,shestillclungtothemarriage.Buthehada
strongsuspicionshewasjustbarelyholdingon.

Whatreallytroubledhim,though,waswhyhecaredsomuch.

THESECONDZachhaddisappearedoutthedoor,Tonyrelinquishedhis
holdofLauraandflunghimselfintothenearestchair.Hestaredup
atherthroughhoodedeyes.Shegazedbackdispassionately.

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Herhusbandwasdefinitelygood-looking,shethought,withhisdark
hairanddeeptan,attractiveenoughtoplayaleadroleinadaytime
soap.Therunningshortsandtanktopheworenowrevealedhis
superblyfitcondition,andshecouldn'tblameanywomanforwantingto
betheobjectofhisattention.

Inthebeginningshe'dbeenblindedbyherattractiontohim;butit
soonworeoffwhenshediscoveredthatbeneaththesurface,hedidn't
havethedepthofcharactershe'dnaivelyattributedtohim.They'd
metatacyclingeventinCalifornia.He'dbeenattendingcollegeat
thetimeandhadledLauratobelievehewantedtogotolawschool
He'dbeenadifferentpersonbackthen.Raisedbyhisauntanduncle,
whohadsixchildrenoftheirownandlivedonaverymodestincome,
he'dappearedtobeamanwhovaluedfamilyandlovedkids.He'dbeen
especiallyattentivetoLaura'stwonieces.

He'dfitinsowell,infact,withherownrelativesandfriends,she'd
assumedtheywouldeventuallyenjoyasolidtraditionalmarriage,that
hishobbywouldtakeabackseattothemoreimportantroleof
finishingschoolandsettlingdowntoacareerandfamily.

Butafterthey'dbeenmarriedonlyafewmonthsLaurarealizedthat
therewasalwaysonemoreracehewantedtowin.Littlebylittlethe
amateurcompetitionsseparatedhimfromherandhisfamily.Attheend
oftheirfirstyearofmarriage,Tonyturnedproandadmiredthathe'd
beentrainingfortheTourdeFranceforyears.Forthepastfour,
he'dbeenwinningimportantraces,stackingupworld-rankingcycling
points.Shenolongerknewwhohewas.

Rightnowshewassomewhatrepulsedbyhim.Hesmelledstronglyof
mouthwash.Shedidn'tevenwanttothinkwhathe'dbeendoingbefore
Zachhadaccomplishedthemiraclethathadunearthedherhusbandfrom
wherever.Fromwhomever.

"Ican'tfigureoutwhyyoucame,Laura.YouhatewhatIdo,sowhy
didyoubother?"

Probablynothingwouldsuithispurposesbetterifshehadn'tcometo
watchhimcompeteinthemostimportantraceofhiscareertodate.
Thenhecouldlietohimselfandeveryonearoundthathiswifedidn't
careabouthimortheirmarriage.Byplacingtheblamesquarelyonher
shoulders,hecouldexoneratehimselffromallguiltandentrench
himselfinthelife-styleshesoabhorred.

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Shesatcalmlyontheedgeofasmallloveseat,needingtochooseher
wordscarefully.Forthefirsttimeinyearsmaybe,heseemedprepared
tohavethekindoflongserioustalkshe'dbeenhopingfor.

Ironicallythetimingcouldn'tbeworseforhim."Whetheryoubelieve
itornot,I'mveryproudofyourracingaccomplishments.Here."She
reachedintoabagnexttotheloveseatandhandedhimthegiftshe'd
madeforhim.

"What'sthis?"

"Ascrapbookofallyourtriumphs."Theleatherettebinderwasthick
withnewspaperarticlesandphotographsfrommagazines.Heleafed
throughit,butshecouldn'ttellifitbroughthimpleasureornot.

"You'reanathlete'sathlete,"shesaid."Onlyahandfulofmeninthe
entireworldhavethetalenttowintheTourdeFrance.I'mmarriedto
oneofthem."

Foroncehedidn'thaveareadyretort,Hissilencegaveherthe
impetustogoon.

"Tony...we'venevertalkedaboutthisbefore,butI'mnotunaware
thatdeepdowninsideyou,there'savoid--becauseyourownparents
aren'theretodaytoseeyouridetovictory."

Hisheadflewbackinsurprise.

"IknowithurtsthatyouruncleGeorgeandauntAnnhavenevershown
upatoneofyourraces.!betyou'rethinkingthatiftheyreally
lovedyou,theywould'vefoundawaytocomeupwiththemoneytosee
thisone."

"Idon't.wanttotalkaboutthem."

Laurahadanideathathisauntanduncle,seeingTony'sneglectof
her,hadprobablybeeninstrumentalingettinghimtocomehomefor
thatshortvisitfiveweeksago.

Butasawfulasthosetwodayshadbeen,theyprovedtoLaurathatTony
wantedoutoftheirmarriageUnfortunatelyhewouldneverbehonest
enoughwithhimselforwithhertoaskforadivorce.He'dalsobeen
broughtupaCatholic,andwhilehisreligionmeantlittletohim,his
auntandunclewerequitedevoutItwasunlikelyhe'dwanttorisk
theirdisapproval.So,whatwithallthat,hehopedshe'dbetheone

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whoforcedtheissue,whichwouldthenfreehimfromalltiesand
blame.Forthepastfewyearshe'dbecomeanexpertattwisting
situations.Moreoftenthannotsheendedupfeelinglikethe
culprit.

Surelyyouunderstandwecan'thaveababyrightnow.Comeon,How
manymengetthechanceofalifetimetoreallymakeitbig?!have
thetalent,Laura,andi'tngoingallthewaytothetop.We'lltalk
aboutstartingafamilylater.

Manytimesthroughouttheirsix-yearmarriagehe'dthrownthatargument
inherface.Yetneveroncehadheconsideredthatherdesiretobea
mothermightbeeverybitasimportant;norwouldhehavegivena
thoughttothetickingofherbiologicalclock.

Ifhe'dhoped,fiveweeksago,thatinreassertinghispositionabout
thisnotbeingthetimetostartafamilyshewouldfinallygetthe
pointandstopharassinghimaboutit,thenhe'dsucceeded.Infact,
he'dwrittenthedeathsentenceoftheirmarriage.

Butrightnownothingwasasimportantastheracetomorrow.She
pulledasecondscrapbookfromthebag.Here.Takealookatthis."
Sheextendedittohim,Buthedidn'tmakeamovetoreachforit.She
droak0edherarm

"IwentovertoseeyourauntandunclebeforeIflewhere.Annwas
therealoneandwehadalongtalk.ItoldherIcouldeasilyafford
tobringthewholefamilytoEuropeiftheywantedtowatchthe
race."

Herubbedthebridgeofhisnose."Icanjustimaginehowthatwent
over."

Sheshookherhead."DoyouImowwhatshetoldme?Moneyhasnever
hadanythingtodowiththeirdecisiontostayawayfromyourraces."

"TellmesomethingIdon'tknow."Thebitternessofhistonebrokeher
heart."I'mnottheirkidandwasneverwanted.I'vealwaysrealized
that."

"Wrong,Tony.They'vealwayslovedyou.No,that'snotthereasonfor
theirlackofsupport."Shefeltlikeaparentdealingwitha
recalcitrantchild.

Heglaredather."Andyou'regoingtotellmewhatitis,areyou?"

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"Ifyou'lljustlookthroughthis---shetappedthescrapbook--you'll
understandalotofthings.Ionlywishithadn'ttakenmygoingover
thereandpleadingwithAnnforanexplanationtofinallygetan
answer."

Heletoutanexpletive."Whatisit?Anotherscrapbook?"

"Yes.It'syourfather's."

Tonylookedstunned.

"Iwantyoutoknow,"Laurawenton,"thatyourauntwouldhavegiven
ittoyouyearsago,butyourunclewouldn'tlether.However,sheand
Ibothagreeditwaslongpastdueforyoutohaveit,sosheletme
bringittoyou."

AsLaurahadhoped,heshedthatarmorofbelligerentindifferenceand
gottohisfeetinonelithemovement.Helookedpalebeneathhis
tan.

Shestoodup,aswell,andhandedittohim."Con-.sideritagift
frombeyondthegrave.Ihopeitinspiresyoutofindthatsecret
weaponofyoursthatZachwastalkingabout."

"Whatsecretweapon?"hedemanded.

"Hesaidthatwhentherestofthemarereadytoquit,youalwaysfind
thenecessaryenergytoperformtheimpossible."

Shewasn'tsurewhyhiseyesslidawayfromherssoquickly.She'd
hopedtoeasetheantagonismheseemedtofeeltowardhisroommate.She
triedagain.

"Zachsaysyou'reachampionofchampionsandhe'sdedicatedtohelping
youwin."

AsfarasLaurawasconcerned,Zachwasachampionofchampionsfor
bowingtoTony'sexpertiseandworkingforthegoodofthewholeteam
ratherthanonlyhimself.Tonywouldneverdothesamethingiftheir
positionswerereversed.

"Takealookatthosepictures,Tony."

Aftereyeingherskeptically,heopenedthecover.Ashethumbed

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throughit,shewatchedtheexpressiononhisfacechangeto
amazement.

OntheflighttoEurope,she'dmemorizedeverypageofthebook.Atan
earlyage,Tony'sfather,CarlDonetti,hadbeenthebestswimmerat
hisneighborhoodpool.Sixyearsolderthanhisbrother,George,he
excelledinalmosteveryswimmingeventthroughouthisyearsinpublic
school.Fromtherehewentontoregionalandnationalmeets.Intime
hemadeittotheU.S.Olympicswim-teamtrials.Butthatwaswhere
thescrapbookentriesstopped.

Whensheheardherhusbandgroan,shesaid,"Yourfatherwasa
remarkableathlete.Nowweknowwhereyougetyourfantasticathletic
ability.Insomeofthepictures,youandyourfatherlooksomuch
alikeIcan'ttellthedifference."

Tony'seyesweresuspiciouslybright."Whydidn'tUncleGeorgeever
letmeseethis?"

Shecouldhearrawangerinhisvoice,andtookadeepbreathbefore
continuing,"Youraunttoldmethatyourdaddidn'tmaketheOlympic
team,andhecouldn'tgetoverthefailure.Yourunclewatchedhim
beathimselfupandfeltpowerlesstohelphim---exceptbybeingyour
dad'sgreatestfanandnevermissingameet,nomatterwhereitwas.He
worshipedyourdad.Whenyourparentswerekilledinthatfreeway
collision,theonlythingthathelpedGeorgetogoonlivingwasto
takecareofhisbrother'sbabyboyandraisehim."

Tony'shandscurledintofists."Heshouldhavetoldme."

"Apparentlywhenyoustartedtoshowaninterestincyclingsoearlyin
lifeandcouldbeateveryoneontheblock,Georgesawhistoryrepeating
itself.Thepainofwhathe'dlivedthroughwithyourdadwastoo
great.

"That'swhyhemovedthefamilyfromThousand

OakstoPasadena.Hehopedtothwartyoubyseparatingyoufromyour
cyclingfriends.Heprayedyou'dfinallyloseinterest.Instead,you
seemedmoredeterminedthanever.HeknewtheTourdeFrancewasyour
dream,buthecouldn'tbeartowatchyougothroughallthestageson
thewayup,onlytoloseoutintheend."

"ButI'mgoingtowin!"TonyvowedwithafiercenessLaurahadnever
heardinhisvoicebefore."Picturesofmeholdingupthewinner'scup

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aregoingtobeinmyscrapbook."

Asshe'dhoped,thescrapbookshe'dbroughthadfocusedherhusband
likenothingelsecouldhave.Temporarily,atleast,he'dforgottento
beangrywithher.

"Iknowyou'regoingtowin,Tony.That'swhyI'mhere,whyIbrought
thesebookswithme.They'llbringyouluck.Noonehasworkedharder
andlongerthanyouhave.Noonedeservestowinmore.Butjust
rememberthatwhenyoupopthecorkonthatbottleofchampagneonthe
Champs-Elys6es,itwillbeavictoryforyourdadandyouruncle,
too."

Hisglazedeyesmethersbrieflyandhenodded,buthisthoughtswere
obviouslyonthattriumphantmoment.

"IhaveeveryconfidencethatwhenyoureturntoPasadenawearingthe
yellowjersey,you'llmakeanewmanofGeorge,andhe'llbetheone
pushingyouallthewaytotheOlympics."

ThefireofcompetitionignitedTony."That'swhere

I'mgoing,Laura.Alltheway.Historyisn'tgoingtorepeatitself
thistime,becauseunlikemydad,I'mgoingtomakethosetrials!""
Iknowyouwill."I'mcountingonit.Afteryou'vewon,you'llbeso
highourdivorcewillgothroughwithoutrecriminations.

Hedroppedthescrapbooksonthetable."I'vegottogotalktothe
coach."

Laurafeltrelief.Shecouldn'timagineanythingworsethanbeing
closetedwithTonythisclosetotherace.Hisrestlessnessmadehim
difficulttobearoundatthebestoftimes,butwhenhewasfilled
withnewpurpose,therewasnoholdinghim.

"Zachsaidtherewassupposedtobeapressconferencelater."

Tonypausedmidwaytothedoor."He'sright.

There'sonescheduledattheMetropoletonight.""Doyouwantmeto
comeoverforthat?"

"No.I'mgoingtogetitcanceled.I'vegotsomenewstrategiesto
workoutwiththeteamandI'llbelatebeforeIgetbackhere.Don't
waitupforme."

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Hebussedheronthecheekandstartedforthedoor.

Hissingle-mindednessalsomadehimforgetful."Tony?"

Hepausedinthedoorway.

"Takethekey.Iwon'tneedit."Shetossedittohim,watchedit
makeagracefularcandandinhishand.

Heflashedheratrouble-freesmile,thesortsherarelysawanymore,
thenlefttheroom.Shesaidalittle'prayerofthanksthatAnnhad
finallybrokendownandtoldheraboutTony'sfather.Thescrapbooks
andtheknowledgethathisfamilylovedhimhadnowbecomeher
husband'sothersecretweapon.Theywouldgivehimthatneedededge.

Contentthathergiftshadproducedthedesiredresuits,shelocked
thedoorbehindhimandheadedforthebathroom.Withinminutesshe'd
takenashowerandhadputonanightgownandrobe,wantingnothing
morethantoliedown.

DealingwithTonywasanexhaustingexperience.Coupledwithtravel
fatigue,itmeantsheneededatleasttwelvehoursofuninterrupted
sleepsoshecouldbereadyforthetimetrialstomorrow.

Nosoonerhadsheturneddownthecoversthansheheardaraponthe
door.Who.Itwouldn'tbeTonybecausehehadthekey.Thenshe
rememberedthatZachhadbeengoingtocomebackwithTony'sthings.
"Justaminute!"shecalled,andpaddedtothedoor."Hiagain,"he
murmuredassheopenedit,asmilecurvinghiswideattractivemouth.
Hisarmswereloaded.

Despiteherfatigue,clearingtheairwithTonymusthavesharpenedher
abilitytoconcentrate,becauseshecouldn'tstopstaringatZach.As
she'dnotedearlier,hewastallerthanherhusband,withalarger
buildandquiteaspectacularphysique.Hedidn'tresemblealotof
thebikerswho,inthemain,weresmallinstature.Infact,whilehe
woreninetiessportswearandkepthishaircroppedveryshortreno
doubttohelpgivehimminimumwindresistancewhenhecycled--Zachwas
adifferenttypealtogether.Hisbigwell-tonedbodycouldmakea
womanfeelincrediblysafe,protected.Andwithhisdarkblondhair
andsilveryeyes,shecouldbeforgivenforthinkinghehadNorseblood
runningthroughhisveins.

"C-comein,"shestammered,suddenlyembarrassed.Hemusthavenoticed

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herstaring."Youshouldn'thavebotheredtobringTony'sthingsover,
youknow.Tonycouldhavedonethatlater."

Heputthebagsandpapersackshewascarryingonthefloornextto
thedresser,thenturnedtoher."Itwasnobother.Hecamebackto
theroombeforeIleft.Apparentlythere'sbeenachangeinourplans
tonightandwe'remeetingwiththecoach.Tony'sallfireduptowin
thosetimetrialstomorrow."

Shenodded."Hetoldmehewasgoingtocancelthepressinterview."

"Thatwasmusictomyears,"hesaidinhisdeepvibrantvoice."I'd
saythearrivalofhiswifeisjustwhatthedoctorordered."

Lauralookedaway."Whatdoyoumean?"

"He'sachangedboyfromanhourago."

You'reright,ZactrHe'saboy.Averydifficultoneatthat.But
then,Zach,probablymorethananyonebesidesherself,knewthedark
sideofTony--hismoodinessandcompulsivehabits.He'dbeenforcedto
roomwithhimthepastfewmonths,anditcouldn'thavebeeneasy.She
foundherselffeelingagooddealofsympathyforZach;he'dprobably
beensubjectedtotheworstratherthanthebestofherhusband.

Anotherpartofhercringed,becauseshewascertainTonyhadmadeupa
lotofhalf-truthsandoutrightliesaboutherandtheirmarriage.Long
beforethey'dmettoday,Zachwouldhaveformedhisownopinionsabout
herandTony,noneofthemgood.

ItwouldtakeanincrediblymaturepersontodealwithTony's
confidencesandtemperament,andstillhaveanyrespectforhim.Maybe
ifshetoldZachaboutthescrapbooks,he'dunderstandTonyalittle
betterandnotjudgehimtooharshly.

Movingovertothetable,shepickedupthebooksandhandedthemto
him."Thesearewhatmadethedifference.Ihopetheybringyour
wholeteamluck."

ZachsatdownonachairatthetablewithLauraseatedoppositehim.
Asheleafedthroughthepages,sheprocuredtotellhimeverything.

"IknowTonycanbedifficult,"shefinished."Obviouslybeneverfelt
accepted,nevermindloved,byhisauntanduncle.That'swhyhe's
alwayshadthisdrivetoprovehimself.Butwhenheheardthathisown

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fatherwasclosetobeingOlympicmaterial,Ithinkitgavehimthe
senseofidentityhe'sbeenlookingfor."

Zachclosedbothalbumsandlookedupather,hisexpressionsolemn.
"Yougavehimapricelessgifttoday.He'snotthesamepersonwho
walkedinhereearlier.Notso...fragmented."

FragmentedThatwastheperfectwordtodescribe

Tony.Zachunderstoodthingsmuchmorethanshe'drealized.

"Ihopehethankedyouforthem,"Zachsaid.

Shemovedherhead,neitheraconfirmationoradenial.

"Evenifhedidn't,"Zachwenton,hisgazemissingnothing,"onbehalf
oftheteam,Ithankyoufordoingsomethingforhimnoelsecouldhave
done.It'sjustpossiblethatinturningTonyaround,ourteamhasa
realshotatthechampionship.I'vesaiditbeforeandI'llsayit
again---He'saluckyguy.."

Shewastouchedbyhiskindness."IthinkTonyhasbeenveryblessed
tohavehadyouforaroommate.Incasebehasn'tthankedyouyet,
thenletmesayitforhim.Thankyou."

Againtheirgazesmetinquietunderstanding."Laura?"hesaid
softly.Sheswallowedhard."Yes?"

"DoyoumindifIcallyouthat?""I'dpreferit."

"Haveyoueverdrivenasupportcarforyourhusband?"

"No."

Zachappearedtobeponderingsomethingvital."Wouldyoube
interestedindrivingthecircuitwithmybrother,Richard?He'sdone
itformemanytimes,buthe'sgoingtohavetogoitalonethistime
becauseBeysaysshecan'ttakethepressure.

"Iknowhe'dwelcomeyourcompany.Becauseyoubothhaveavested
interestinmeandTony,Ithinkyoutwowouldbegoodforeachother,
anddefinitelygoodfortheteamasawhole."

Sheblinked."You'rekidding!"Hissuggestionfloodedherwith
warmth.

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"No."Herosetohisfeet,andshehadtolookupathim."Tmbeing
earnest.Followingusaroundcanbeverygrueling.It'snicetoknow
there'sanotherpersontorelyon.Youtwoouldspelleachotherand
useeachotherforasoundingboard.Richard'sagreattalker.It's
hardonhimwhenhedoesn'thaveanyonearoundtolisten."

Sheranashakyhandthroughhercurls.Latelyshe'dbeentiredalot,
andnauseated.Theopportunitytobeabletosharetheworkwith
someone,nothavetodothewholecircuitalone,wasagodsend.

"He...hemightnotwanttoridewithme."

"ActuallyI'vealreadytalkedtohimaboutit.Iwasoverinhisroom
justbeforeIcamehere.Hecouldn'tbehappierwiththeideaandis
anxioustomeetyou.So,whatdoyousay?"

Hergazeswiveledtohisoncemore.You'resuchagoodman,Zach
Wilde.Aremarkablemart

"Tobehonest"-hervoicetrembled"--it'slikeananswertoaprayer."
Shepaused."ItseemsallIeverdoisthankyou."

Somethingflickeredinhiseyes."Ithinkallourprayerswere
answeredwhenyoushoweduptoday."

Hisremarkproducedasmallsmile."Areyoucertainyoursister-in-law
won'tmind?"

Hesmiledback."She'stheonewhobeggedRich!dBPA22AWIIN!

andtosayyes.Actuallyitwillrelieveherofalotofguilt."

"Guilt?"

"Shewantstohelp,butIguessshe'sbeentotoomanyofmyracesand
can'ttakethesuspense.Toknowsomeoneelseistheretoassist
Richardtakesahugeleadoffhermind."Nowitwashisturntopause.
"Ifthere'sanythingI'mworriedabout,it'sTony'sreaction."

Sheshookherhead."He'llberelievedI'mdrivingwithsomeonewho's
experiencedatthissortofthing.I'mafraidhestillbelievesaman
isbetterbehindthewheelofacar."

Hesmiled."Good.Thenit'ssettled.Tonytoldmeyou'reinforthe

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night,soI'vesuggestedtoRichardthatthetwoofyoumeettomorrow
morningatseven-thirty.We'llallhavebreakfastinthediningroom
downstairs."

"Thatwouldbeperfect,"shesaid.

Hestudiedherforamoment."Youlookalittlepale.areyoufeeling
allright?"

"Tmtired,Iconfess,butit'sjetlag.Agoodnight'ssleepwillwork
wonders."

"Youprobablyneedtoeat,too."Hegesturedatthepapersackshe'd
brought."You'llfindsomecheese,Frenchbreadandgrapejuicein
those."

"Uh-huh?"

"You'renotsomekindofguardianangelsentdownherejustforme,are
you?ShouldItouchyoutoseeifyou'rereal?"

Shedidjustthat,reachingoutandgraspinghisforearm.Itwashard
andwarm.Shequicklyremovedherfingersandsteppedback.

Hesmiledagain."Asyou'vediscovered,I'mquiterealandnothingout
oftheordinary.Onlyateammateofyourhusband'swho'sverythankful
youarrivedintimetogiveTonythebestshotatthetitle."

Shewrappedherarmsaroundherwaist."You'renotordinaryatall,
youknow.Mostmenwouldwantthegloryforthemselves."

Hissmilefaded.Shecouldn'tfathomit.

"I'mnothereforthesamereasonsasTonyis,andIknowmy
limitations."Hebeadedforthedoor."I'llseeyouinthemorning."
Inthespaceofaheartbeathe'dchangedintosomeoneunapproachable
andremote.

Laurahadthestrongesturgetorunafterhimashelethimselfoutto
askhimwhatthosereasonswere.Butshedidn'tdare.He'dclosedup
onher.Maybethedaywouldcomewhenthere'dbeenoughtrustbetween
themthatshecouldask.

Andmaybeyou'vecomedownwithafull-scaleflu,Laura.ZachWildeis
nothingtoyou.Hecan'tbe!

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CHAPTERTHREE

FORZACHTOAWAKEtoanemptyhotelroomwasnotanunusualexperience.
OverthepastfewmonthsTonyhadsleptelsewhereandithadnever
mattered,Theknowledgethathesleptinhiswife'sbedlastnight
shouldn'thavemadetheslightestdifference.Infact,ifanything,
ZachshouldhavebeenrelievedthatforonceTonywasexactlywherehe
shouldbe.

Cursingbecausehe'dcuthimselftwicewhileshaving,Zachleftthe
bathroomonlytostubhisbigtoeonthedoorjamb.Thenhedecidedto
phoneRichardattheMetropoletomakesurehewasupandready.All
hesucceededindoingwaswakingBev,whowasstillinbed.She
mutteredsomethingaboutherhusbandhavinggonedownstairsalready.
Afterapologizingfordisturbingher,Zachhungup,hisstateofminda
mixofself-loathingandbefuddlement.

Foramomenthewastemptedtoringtheroomacrossthehallfromhis
brother.ButthepictureofTonyinbedwithhiswifefilledhimwith
suchdistastehesquelchedtheimpulse.

You'reamess,Wilde.

Todaywasthebeginningoftherace,yethecouldn'tgetanotherman's
wifeoutofhismind.Hisskinstill

REBFLEAWINTERS

burnedwhereshe'dgraspedhisarmlastnight.He'dwantedtocover
herhandandkeepitthere.Behonest.Youwantedtofeelherhands
onyou,hermouthbeneathyours.

Donninghissweats,helefttheroomandheadedoutofthehotelfor
theBeaulieu.Theminutehesteppedoutdoors,hecouldsmellrainin
theair.Helookedupatthesky.Theheavycloudcoverdidn'tbode
wellforthetimetrials,whichwerescheduledtostartatnoonand
wouldprobablygoonuntilwellintotheevening.

Evenatseven-thirtyinthemorning,thenormallyquietstreetswere
alivewithactivity.Itdidn'tsurprisehim,notwhenitwasestimated
thatatleast350,000peoplefromalloverEuropeandAmericahadde-so
endedonSt.lgertowatchthestartoftherace.

Toavoidmembersofthepress,hesprintedaroundthecorner,makingit

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difficultforanyonetopursuehimwithaTVcamerainhand.Buthe
couldn'tescapethenewsmencompletely.Onewaswaitingforhimashe
enteredthecrowdeddiningroomoftheBeaulieu.

"Here'sZacharyWilde,theNewportBeachAmericandarkhorsewhowas
outoftheracingcircuitforatime,onlytocomebackandwinan
impressivenumberofEuropeanchampionships,earninghimthetitleKing
oftheMountain.So,Mr.Wilde,whodoyouthinkwillbethefirst
fivefinishersinthefirststagetomorrow?"

ZachcouldseeRichardwavingtohimfromacornertable.Nosignof
Laurayet.Whenshedidshow,she'dbeforcedtorunthemedia
gauntlet,too.

"Donetti,ofcourse,andFarramundiorPolettioftheItalianteam,
possiblyOlatzorRichteroftheGermanteam.Vadimmaybe."

"Inoticeyoudon'tputyourselfamongthetopcontendersofyourown
team."

"ThesprintsareDonetti'slongsuit.Vadimdoeswellontheflats."

"Doyouestimateanyonesettingrecordstoday?"

"No.Therainwillsloweveryonedown.Nowifyou'llexcuseme..."He
shoulderedhiswaythroughthecrushofinterestedspectatorslistening
totheinterviewandstrodetowardhisbrother.

Richardwasonlytwoyearsolder,andwhenhewasseated,manypeople
mistookhimforZach.Butinfact,Richardwasthreeinchesshorter,
andhiseyeswerebluenotgray.

Richardwasanexcellentswimmeranddiver,andovertheyearshe'd
sharedaloveofsailingwithZach.Thesedays,however,his
responsibilitiesasahusbandandfathertothreechildren,plusthe
growingoutdoor-signbusiness,whichwasaWilde-familyenterprise,
preventedhimfromindulginginmuchsportingactivity.

WhenRicharddidhavefreetime,he'dgivenittohisbrother.Zach
knewhe'dneverbeabletorepayhimforalltheemotionalandphysical
supporthe'dprovidedovertheyears,theunqualifiedunstintinglove,
thesteadyencouragement---andfaiththatonedayZachwouldfind
ultimatefulfillmentwiththerightwoman,despitehisthusfarpoor
trackrecord.

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Athisapproach,Richardgotupandgavehimahug."Thisisyourbig
day,brother.Howareyoufeeling?"

Theysatdownoppositeeachother."Prettygood."Richardbrokeoff
theendofafreshbaguetteandhandedtheresttoZach,whorefusedit
Heeyedhimspeculatively."Youcouldhavefooledme.What'seating
you?"

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Howcomeyou'renothungry?"

"Ihadabagelintheroom.""You'venickedupyourface."

Richarddidn'tmissmuch.Zachrubbedhisjawwherehe'dbeencareless
withtherazor."Prefacejitters,"helied.

"Comeon,Zach.It'smeyou'retalkingtohere.Whatgives?"

Avoidinghisbrother'sprobingstare,hemurmured,"Iguesstheteam's
holdingitsbreathwonderingifTony'sstillasfocusedasheseemed
lastnight"

"Well,hepassedthroughthefoyerabouttenminutesago.Fromthe
looksofit,heappeared'morerested,relaxedandconfidentthanI've
everseenhim.HechattedamiablywiththeTVpeople,thenleft.I
wouldsayit'sthebestofsigns."

ThenewsshouldhavepleasedZach,butinstead,hesuddenlyfelt
acutelyoutofsortsandshovedhimselfawayfromthetable.

"Hey!"

Zachignoredhisbrother'sprotestandgottohisfeet,glancingathis
watch."It'squartertoeight.I'mgoingtogoSeewhat'skeeping
LaUra."

Richardsquintedupathim.Zachdidn'tlikeitwhenhelookedathim
likethat,asifhecouldseerightthroughhim.

"I'vegottimetokill,Zach.Ifshejustflewinyesterday,then
she'ssufferingjetlag.Givethepoorwomanabreak.Whydon'tyou
takeoffandmeetupwithyourteam?Ifshedoesn'tcomedownina
littlewhile,I'llgoupstairsandintroducemySelf."

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Hisbrother'ssuggestionmadeperfectSenSe,butZachwouldn'trest
untilhe'dtalkedtoLauraandfoundoutforhimselfthatshewasall
rightTony,heknew,couldbeaninSensitiveswinewhenhefeltlike
it.Yesterdayhe'dgottenaninklingofTony'scrueltytoher.Ithad
accounted,inallprobability,forhisrestlessnight.

"No.YoustayhereandenjoyyourbreakfastI'llberightback."

"Haveityourway.I'llbewaiting."

Zachgavehisbrother'sshoulderasqueeze,thendodgedthecrowdand
boundedupthefoyerstairstwoatatimetoherfloor.Nosoonerhad
hereachedherdoorintendingtoknock,whenitopened.

"Oh!Zach!"shesaidbreathlessly,andclungtothedoorknobfor
support.Dressedinacasualpink-andwhite,stripedtopandskirt,
shelookedgood.

Behonest,Wilde.Shelooksalotbetterthangood.

"Sorrytohavestartledyou."Hesmiled."Goodmorning,Laura."

"Goodmorning."Sheputawell-manicuredhandtoherthroat,asignof
nervousness."I'mafraidI'mtheonewhoshouldapologizeforkeeping
youandyourbrotherwaiting.BedfeltsowonderfulIcouldn'tbearto
getup,butI'mreadynow."Afaintbutenticingfloweryfragrance
clungtoher.

Zachtookadeepbreath."Ijustdroppedbytomakesureyou'reall
right,andtosaythatit'sfinewithusifyouwanttomeetlater--you
know,ifyou'restillfeelingjet-lagged...."

shouldhavephonedherfirst.Whyinhelldidn't

I?

"No,no.Iwouldn'tdreamofputtingyououtmorethanIalready
have."

Shepulledthedoorclosedbehindherandwalkeddownthehailwith
him.Astrangetensionhungbetweenthemthatpreventedhimfrom
makingdesultoryconversation.Notuntiltheyreachedthebright
lightsofthediningroomdidhenoticeherpailorandthefaint
smudgesbeneathhereyes.Tell-talesignsthatallwasnotwell.He
supposedcryingcouldhaveproducedthem,butthenagain,socould

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illness.Eitherwouldaccountforhernotbeingontimeforbreakfast.
Untilheknewthetruth,itwouldgnawathim.

Evenfyouknewthetruth,whatisittoyou,Wilde?Theminute
Richardsawthem,herosefromthetable,smiledandextendedahandas
theydrewclose.Zachsawtheadmirationinhisbrother'seyes.In
fact,hesawthesamedamnadmirationintheeyesofeverymaninthe
room.

"I'vebeenlookingforwardtomeetingyouformorereasonsthanone,
Laura.Mywifeishookedonyoursoap."

"That'snicetohear,Richard."Shelaughedgentlyandshookhishand.
"GladsomeoneintheWildefamilywatchesTV.Untilyesterday,Zach
hadneverheardoftheshowI'min,letaloneseenit!Anyway,itis
howIpaytherent."

Zachfoundhimselfwonderinghowmuchofherpaycheckhadgonetofund
Tonybeforehe'dturnedproandcouldrelyonfinancialbackingfrom
other

SOurces.

Richard'ssmilebroadened.Zachcouldtellhisbrotherwasalready
captivated."NowthatI'vemetyou,I'mgoingtohavetogiveworka
misssoIcanwatchanepisodeortwomyselfl.You'reawfullyeasyon
theeyes,ifyouknowwhatImean.Justdon'ttellmywife,Bey,I
saidthatorI'minserioustrouble."Shelaughedagain."Yoursecret
issafewithme."Well,Zachthought,noneedforformalintroductions
here.Theireasycamaraderieshouldhaverelievedhim,butinstead,he
feltexcluded.Fornoapparentreasoneverythingwasirritatingthe
helloutofhimthismorning.Maybehewashavingpreracejitters.

"Whydon'tweallsitdown?"Hepulledoutachairforher.

"Thankyou,"shemurmured,dartingZachanappreciativeglance.

Hegaveheranansweringnodandsatdownnexttoher."Whatwouldyou
liketoeat?I'llcallthewaiterover."

"Someteawouldbenice."

"Nothingelse?"Zachasked,realizingitwasnoneofhisbusinesswhat
sheateordrank.

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"No.I'mafraidI'mtoonervoustoeatanything."

"Nervesmakemeovereat,"Richardsaid."I'mstartingtogeta
pot--unlikemylittlebrother."

"Cyclingburnseverycalorie,"Zachheardherrespondashegavethe
waiterherorder.

Richardgrinned."Well,Ihopeyoudon'tmindifIsnackwhilewe're
drivingaroundinthevan.Mywife,Bev,boughtmeenoughsweetsto
lasttheentiretour."

"Thatmakesmefeelbetter,sinceI'vebroughtalongaratherlarge
assortmentofcrackersandgingeralemyself."

"You'renotpregnant,areyou?WhenBev'sexpecting,crackersandsoft
drinksareherstapledietforthefirsttrimester."Hechuckled.
"Hey,I'mjustkidding."Richardkeptuphislivelybanter,but
Laura'slackofresponsehadmadeZachfeellikesomeonehadjust
kickedhiminthegut.

"Howmanychildrendoyouhave,Richard?"

"I'dlovetomeetthem."

"You'regoingtomeetthewholefamilywhenwedriveTonyandZachover
tothestadiumforthebe,ginningofthetimetrials."

"IthinkI'dbetterwarnbothofyounowthattodaywillprobablybe
thehardestdrivingyou'lldo,"Zaehinserted,stilldisturbedbyhis
brother'sinnocentremark.

Richardwasnoone'sfoolandhadlivedthroughthreepregnancieswith
Bev.Infact,twiceRichardhadknownBevwaspregnantbeforeshedid.
ZachsupposeditwaspossibleLaurawaspregnantbutdidn'twantanyone
toknowaboutityet.Shewasaprivateperson,he'dsensed,andthe
lastthingshewouldwantwasforthepresstogetholdofthenews.

Beingpregnantcouldcertainlyaccountforhersymptoms.

Itcouldalsoaccountforthereasonshestillclingstotheir
marriage.

Maybethescrapbooksweren'ttheonlygiftshe'dpresentedtoTonylast
night.Perhapsknowinghewasgoingtobeafatherwastherealcause

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ofhisgoodmoodafterdinnerwhilehe'dbriefedtheteamonhisnew
strategies.AnditcouldexplainwhyRichardthoughtTonylookedsoat
peacethismorning.

Adarkthoughtenteredhismind.Ifshewaspregnant,howlongwould
thereformedTony'sglowlastbeforehebecameboredwiththewhole
processofchildrearingandresumedhisoldhabits?

Zach'syoungerbrother,Mike,wasanewfather.Ittookatremendous
amountoftimeandwork,ahugecommitment.SomehowZachcouldn'tsee
Tonyintherole,especiallynotwiththeOlympicsforemostinhis
mind.

AlreadyTonywastalkingaboutformingaprofessionalcycling"dream
team"thatwouldincludeatriumphantTonyandFarramundiamongthe
selectgroup.ZachwageredthatTonywouldbeaworseabsenteefather
thanhe'dbeenanabsenteehusband.Hiswifedeservedbetter.

Ofcoursehecouldbewrongandshewasn'tpregnant.Maybehewas
gettingwayaheadofhimself.Maybeyou'recrackingup,Wilde.

"I'lltellyouwhat,"hesaid,cuttinginontheirconversationand
rising.tohisfeet."Whileyoutwofinishgettingacquainted,I'm
goingtoseeaboutsomelast-minutedetailsandinstructthegarageto
bringthevanaroundinfrontofthehotelateleven-thirty.We'll
loadupthen."

Richardflashedhimapuzzledlook."Soundslikeagoodplan."

"TIIbebyyourroomabouteleven-twenty,Laura.IfTony'sbeenheld
up,I'llbringyourthingsdowntothevan."

Sheshookherheadandsaidhesitantly,"IIappreciatethatZach,but
Idon'tthinkit'llbeneces-saryo"

Still,youdon'tknowforsure,doyou?Hestaredherdowntillshe
lookedaway.

"Talktoyoubothlater,"hesaid.

Heleftthediningroomandthenthehotelatawalk,butbrokeintoa
runthemomenthehitthestreet.Peopleseeinghimwouldassumehe
wasgivinghimselfaworkout.Inasensehewas,butnotforthe
reasonstheythought.

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"BEY,HONEY?"

"Oh--you'reback!"Shedidn'tlookupfromthesuitcaseinwhichshe
wasfiddlingmadly.Ifhedidn'tknowbetter,hewouldthinkshewas
hidingsomethingfromhim."Thechildrenareintheotherroomgetting
dressed.Weplantodoalittlesight-seeing."

Richardcaughthiswifearoundthewaistfrombehindandkissedthe
napeofherneckwhereherblondhairfellaway."Tmgladwe'realone.
Wehavetotalk."

Sheliftedherheadandturnedaround,instantlyalerttothattonein
hisvoice."What'swrong?IsZachillorsomething?"Heranxious
blueeyessearchedhis."Orsomething."

"Honey"-shecuppedhisfacewithherhandsandkissedhislips"tstop
beingmysteriousandtollme."Heheavedasigh."IwishIknew."

"Ishehavingsecondthoughtsabouttherace?"

"Tobehonest,Idon'tthinkhismindisevenoncycling."

"What?"

"Mylittlebrotherisactingverybizarre.""Sincewhen?"

"Sincethemomentwecamebacktotheroomyesterdayandfoundhis
note."

"TheoneaskingustobefriendLauraDonetti?"Henodded.

"Didyoumeether?IssheasgorgeousinpersonasItoldyoushewas
on

TV?"

"Yestobothquestions.""And?"

"Ilikeher,andIthinkshe'llmakeaterrifictravelingcompanion."

Whennothingelsewasforthcomingsheblurtedinexasperation,Honey,
tellmewhatyou'rethinking!ThisisonetimeIcan'treadyourmind.
"

Hetookadeepbreath."I'mthinkingthatLauraDonettihashappened

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tomybrother."

Hiswifeblinked."That'simpossible!"

"You'reright."

"She'smarriedtothatheartthrob,TonyDonetti!Zachwouldneverhave
athingfor-amarriedwoman"particularlythewifeofateammate.He
wouldn'tevenconsiderit."

"You'reright."

"He'sfartoohonorable!"

"You'reright."

"Andfurthermore,Zachisn'toverRosie.I'mbeginningtowonderif
heeverwillhe:""You'rerightaboutthat,too."

"RichardWilde,stopsayingthat!"

Hegrinnedandshrugged,thenkissedherunsuspectingmouth.

Afteramomentshepulledaway."Honey?"Astonishing,hethought,how
shecouldaskaloadedquestionwiththatoneendearment.

"What?"

Shefrowned."Richard,youdon'treallythink..."Hervoicetrailed
off.

Hedecidedtorelent.Rubbingherarmswithhishands,hesaid,"Tell
youwhat--I'llletyoubethejudge."

"When?"

"WhenZachcomesbyforusinalittlewhile.Theplanis,the
Donettiswillcomeinthevanwithustothestadium."

"Butifwe'realltogether,howwillIpossiblybeabletotell
anything?""Ihavenoidea."

"Richard..."

WHENLAURAHEARDtheknockonthedoor,shewashavinganotherattack

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ofnausea,worsethantheoneshe'dexperiencedwhileTonywasinthe
showerearlierthatmorning.

He'dpromisedtobebackbyeleven,butovertheyearsshe'dlearned
nottorelyonherhusbandforanything.

Lastnightshewasasleepwhenhecamein,andsohadnoideaofhow
lateithadbeen.Arounddawnshe'dfelthimstir.Whensheaskedhim
howhewasfeeling,hetoldherhewasreadytotakeonSuperman.

Heseemedparticularlypleasedthatoneofthemembersofthefavored
Italianteamwouldprobablydrawafineandevenhepenalizedwitha
poorstartingposition.Itwasbecausetheracerwasinsistingon
wearingredshortsfortheprologuewhenitwasn'ttheteam's
officiallyregisteredcolor.

Shelistenedashetoldherhowheplannedtofidethecourselaterin
theday,theninformedherthatheandKlaushaddecidedtogetup
earlyandcheckitoutforanyhiddenproblems.

Nodoubttheywerestilloutthereandhadgottensoinvolved,he'd
forgottenhispromise.Thiswasonetimeshecouldhaveusedhishelp
toruntothelocalmarketandgetsomeapples,theonlythingthat
soundedremotelypalatabletoher.

Sheglancedatherwatch.Itwaseleven-twentyexactly,whichmeant
ZachWildewasontheothersideofthatdoor.Howoddthatshe'donly
methimlessthantwenty-fourhoursago,yetalreadysheknewtheman
wasasgoodashisword.

Againsheexperiencedanembarrassmentthatborderedonshamebecause
heknewthingsaboutherandherpitifulmarriagetoTonyshe'drather
diethanhaveanyoneknow.

Ifshelethimin,he'dseethatshe'dlosthercolorandwaswetwith
perspiration.Hewouldn'tleaveitaloneuntilheknewthereasonwhy.
Instincttoldherhewasthatkindofman.

Hisbrother'schancecommentearlierthatshecouldbepregnanthad
shakenher,particularlysinceherperiodwasaweeklate.Ofcourse,
sheknewthatstressandworrycouldaffecthercycle,buttheunusual
fatigueandnauseaweresomethingelseagain.

Thefluwasusuallyaccompaniedbyfever,sorethroat,earache---none
ofwhichshehad.

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IfRichardwererightandTonyhadmadeherpregnantonhislastvisit
home---despitetheprecautionsthey'dtaken--thenitwasanaccident.
Shewouldbeoneofthosestatisticsthatdefiedallodds.

Undernocircumstancescouldshetellherhusbandwhatshesuspected.

Untilshecouldgettoapharmacyandgiveherselfahomepregnancy
test,thishadtoremainhersecret.Whatifshewaspregnant?

Sheburiedherfaceinherhands.Shewouldhavenochoicebuttokeep
itfromhim.Butforhowlong?UntilIstartshowing?

OnceTonyfoundout,he'dtearintoher,blameherforruininghis
life.Shecouldn'tbearthethoughtofsuchanuglyconfrontation.

"Laura?Areyouinthere?"Heknockedharder.

"Tony'sgoneonaheadwithKlaus."

Well,nosurprisethere.

Shehurriedtothedoor,feelingqueasierbythesecond."ItI'mhere,
Zach,butIjustgotoutoftheshower,"shelied."Givemeaminute
afterIunlockthedoor.EverythingTonywillneedfortoday'sraceis
rightthereinthesmallbagandcanbetakendown."

Ifshecouldbuyherselfalittletime,maybethenauseawouldpassand
shecouldprevailonZachtogetsomefruitforherwithouthis
becomingsuspicious.

Aftershe'ddashedintothebathroom,shecalledoutforhimtocome
in,thenranwaterinthebasinandrinsedherfaceofthe
perspiration.Butstillhernauseaworsened.

Forthelongesttimesheclungtothesink,prettysureshewasgoing
tothrowup.Thethoughtofdrivingtothetimetrialsandbeing
hemmedinbythousandsofpeoplemadeherfeelpanicky.

Maybesomemoregingeralewouldhelp,butshe'dhavetogointothe
room,whereZachwas,togetit.Besides,shewasn'tsureshecould
walkthatfar.

Oh,Tony--thisisonetimeIneedahusband.Certain,suddenly,she
wasabouttobesick,sheliftedthetoiletseat.

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"Laura?"Zachcalled."CanIdoanythingforyou?"

Forthelifeofhershecouldn'tanswerhim.

"Laura?"Nowtherewasalarminhisvoice."Areyouallright?"

Allatonceshelostthebreadandcheeseshe'dconsumedearlier,the
broadandcheeseZachhadbeensothoughtfultosupplyherwith.

Therewasataponthebathroomdoor,thenshefeltZach'spresence
rightbehindher.

"GoodLord!Youaresick,justasIthought.WhatcanIdo?Tell
me!"

Laurahadneverbeensomortified."T!Ibeoutinaminute,"she
managed.

Heputsteadyinghandsonhershoulders."Richardwasright,wasn't
he?"hesaid,stayingrightwherehewas."You'repregnant."

"Idon'tseehow,"shesaid,mostlytoherself."ButifIam,it
w-wasn'tsupposedtohappen.Please...youcan'ttellTony."

Silencefollowed,then,"Youmeanhedoesn'tknow?Doesn'tsuspect?"
Zachsoundedincredulous."No."

"Butsurelyhe'dbethrilled."

"No.Trustme,hewouldn't.I--I'mgoingtohavetofindtheright
timetotellhim.MaybeaftertheTourdeFrance."Sherealizedthat
thenauseahadmadehervulnerable.NowZachpossessedyetanother
familysecretandwouldbemullingoverthislatestdamningpieceof
information.

Sheheardamutteredimprecationbeforeheletgoofherwithseeming
reluctance."Iswearhe'llneverhearawordfromme."Hisvoicewas
thickwithsuppressedanger.

Laurawentlimpinreaction."Thankyou,"shewhispered.

"Areyouthroughbeingsick?"

"Ithinkso.Atleastforthemoment."

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ShewishedZachwouldgoaway,butshefelttooweaktoassertherself.
Toheramazement,herinsedoutacloth,thenreacheddownandgently
wipedherfaceandlips.Thenhereachedforthebottledwateronthe
counterandgaveheramomenttorinsehermouthbeforeheputhisarm
aroundherwaistandhelpedheroutofthebathroom.

Shehadnoideaamancouldbethiscaringandselfless.Itwasa
revelationtoher.

Whenshewassettled,hesaid,"YoulietherewhileIgetyouwhatyou
need."Nameit."

Hottearsprickedathereyesasshelookedupathim."You'vedone
toomuchalready.Ifeelsoguilty,Zach.Thisisthedayyou'vebeen
livingfor.Irefusetoruinitforyou!"

Hiseyeshadgoneadarkpewter."Howcouldyoupossiblyruinanything
forme?Becauseofyou,Tony'sinthebestmentalshapehe'sbeenin
allyear,andthatinturnhelpstherestoftheteam.You'retheone
weneedtoconcentrateonrightnow.WhatcanIgetforyou?"

Itwasnousearguingwithhim."Woulditbetoomuchtroubletobuya
littlefruitmsomeapplesorpears?Aroll,maybe?"

"I'monmyway."

"ButI'mputtingoutyourentirefamily!"shecried.

Ifhe'dheardher,shehadnowayofknowing.Hewasgonealmost
beforethewordsleftherlips.

Fromthefirstmomentshe'dmethim,she'dsensedZacharyWildewas
differentfromalltheothermensheknew.Afterwhathadjust
happened,shewasconvincedtherecouldn'tbetoomanylikehim
around.

Theonlyinformationshe'dgleanedfromTony,asidefromthefactthat
Zachcouldbeatoutjustaboutalltheircompetitiononthemountain
stretches,wasthathisCaliforniateammatewasaconfirmedbachelor.

InLaura'smind,aconfirmedbachelorwasfatallyflawed.Howcould
anyone,exceptperhapsthemostselfishofpersons,shunmarriage,a
unionthatshebelieved,despiteherownunhappyexperience,wasthe
ultimateexpressionofloveandintimacy?YetZacharyWildeseemedthe

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embodimentoftheperfectmanandhusband.

You'reanenigma,Zach.Amarvelousuniqueenigmawho'dhadthegreat
misfortuneofgettinginvolvedwiththeDonettis.Toobadfatehad
madeitimpossibleforhimtowashhishandsofherjustyet.

CHAPTERFOUR

/Xd."LTHEWAYOUTtothevanZachreeledwiththeknowledgethat
LaurawasprobablycarryingTony'sbabyandwastooterrifiedtotell
herhusband.Ifshewasthissickalready,howinhellwasshegoing
tokeepfromShowingitinfrontofTony?

NotonlydidZachneedtogettheitemsshe'drequested,heneededsome
expertadviceandthankedprovidencethatBevwasheretotalkto.He'd
promisedLaurahewouldn'tsayanythingtoherhusbandandhewouldn't;
butthiswasanemergencysituationthatrequiredmorethanoneheadto
sortout.

Richie,histwelve-year-oldnephewandtheoldestofRichard's
children,washangingoutthebackwindowofthebluevandouble-parked
outsidethehotel.WhenhesawthatZachwasalone,hefrowned.

"Whereisshe,UncleZach?Wewannagetgoing!"

"Yeah,UncleZach,"Rachel,theirten-year-old,chimedin."What's
takingsolong?"

Robin'svoicegotmixedupinthere,too.Shewasnine,andRichard
calledhertheirlittleredcaboosebecauseshewasastrawberryblonde
andmadeupthelastoftheirfamily.

RichardwatchedZachapproachthroughnarrowedeyes."Istherea
problemwithLaura?"heasked,tooquietlyfortheotherstohear.

Zachnodded."TellBevtocomeinsidewithmeforaminute."

HisbrotherdidadoubletakebeforehecompliedwithZach'swishes.

"I'llbebackinasee,kids,"Bevsaid.

ThechildrenmoanedastheirmothergotoutofthevanandjoinedZach.
Heputhisarmaroundhershouldersandtogethertheywalkedtothe
doorsofthehotel.Hetookherasideoncethey'dreachedtheempty
foyer.

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Sincethetimetrialswouldbestartinginanotherhour,almost
everyonehadalreadygonetotheirspotstoviewtherace.Shegazed
searchinglyatZaeh."What'swrong?"

"Laura'supstairsthrowingup."Bev'seyroundedinsurprise."She's
prettysureshe'spregnant,butshedoesn'twantanyonetoknow,least
ofallherhusband.Notyet,anyway.Canyouhelpherout?"

"ActuallyIthinkIcan."Beysuddenlyavertedhereyes."Yousee...
I'mpregnantagain."

"What?"

"Yeah."Shenodded."RichardthoughtRobinwasourlastbut...well,
IwantedonemoreandI'mexcitedaboutit.Iknowhewillbe,too.I
haven'ttoldhimyetforfearhewouldn'tletmecomeonthistrip.

"SofarI'vefeltbetterthanIusuallydo.Whenwegetbackhome,I'
11thinkofacreativewaytolethimknowhe'sgoingtobeadaddy
again.Forthelasttime,"sheadded."Unlesshefiguresitout
beforehand,whichheprobablywill."Shegrinned.

Zachfeltastabofpureenvy.Nobodyhadabettermarriagethan
RichardandBey.

"Anyway,myobstetriciansuppliedmewithenoughBendectinforacouple
ofmonths.It'sanewdrugformeanditworkslikeacharm.I'll
giveLauraabox.IfshetakesaPilltonight,it'llpreventherfrom
beingsickinthemorning.Butfortherestoftoday,I'mafraid
she'lljusthavetosufferthroughandtrytoeatsomethingthat'll
staydown."

Zachrakedahandthroughhishairinamazement."Shesaidtobring
herbacksomefruitandrolls."

"Yeah.That'llhelp.AndsomeCoke.Celeryworksforme,too--she
mighttrymunchingonastocklater.Thetrickistoeatbeforethe
sicknesshits.Let'sordersomefoodfromthediningroomandgotake
careofher."

Gratefulforhissister-in-law,ZachfollowedBev'slead.Innotime
atalltheywereladenwithfruitandrollsandhadmadetheirwayto
thethirdfloor.

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Whentheywalkedinthedoorhehadn'tlocked,Laurawassittingonthe
sideofthebedsippingsomegngerale.Shestilllookeddrawnand
pale,buthernaturalbeautywasverymuchinevidence.

"Don'tgetup,"heurged."LauraDonetti,thisismysister-in-law,
BevWilde.IhadtotellBevwhatwasgoingon.Youcantrusthernot
tosayawordtoanyonebutRichard,andItrusthimwithmylife!"

"It'sallright."Laurasmiledwanly."It'snicetomeetyou,Bev.
I'vealreadymetyourhusband.He'swonderful."

Beymovedclosertoher."Hesaysthesamethingaboutyou.Zach
tellsmeyoucouldbepregnant.SoamI!It'sasecretI'mkeeping
fromRicharduntilweflybacktotheStates."

"You'rekidding,"Laurasaidwithagiggle.Thankheavenforyou,Bey.
Zachthought.Ididn'tthinkitwaspossibleforLauratosmilenow,
letalonegiggle,butyou'vemanagedtomakebothhappen.

"That'swhyIconcoctedthatbusinessaboutmynervesnotuptotaking
thedrivearoundthecircuit."

"Sothat'sit,"hemurmured.

Beynodded."Yourraceismoreimportantthananythingelse.SinceI
knewI'dbealiabilityifRichardwasworriedaboutme,Icameupwith
mymasterplantogotoParisandwaitwiththerestofthefamily
there.ThenifIhaveafewbaddays,Icanliearoundinthehotel
roomandwatchtheTourdeFranceonTV,andhe'llbenonethe
wiser."

Lauragasped."Butifyourhusbandissaddledwith

"You'renothiswife,"Beybrokein."Itwon'tbethesamethingat
all.Knowingyou'repregnant,he'llbedistractedjustenoughtonot
agonizesomuchover,Zach'sperformance.Besides,Richardis
positivelyeuphoricaboutdrivingyouaround.YouknowhowIcan
tell?"

LauraeyedBevinaweandcuriosity.Zachwasjustascuriousabout
theanswer

"He'sbeenveryquietaboutyou.NowIknowwhy.You'reabsolutely
gorgeousandhe'salreadyhalfwayinlovewithyou.Ofcoursehe'snot
goingtotellmethat."

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Tony'swifesmiledagain.Anothermiracle.Zachfeltsomeofthe
shacklesfallfromhisbody.Beywasthebestmedicinearound,bar
none.

"Tryacroissantwiththatdrink."ShehandedLauratheplate.

"TonightI'llgiveyouapilltotake.Ifitworksforyoulikeit
doesforme,you'llfeelfineinthemom-.ing."

Laurashookherhead."Icouldn'tdothat."

"I'vegotplenty,believeme.AndIhaveanothertip,aswell.Keep
somecrackersandjuiceorsodarightbyyourbedatnightandtry
eatinganddrinkingalittlebeforeyouliftyourheadfromthepillow
inthemorning.Itstopsthesicknessfromstartingandthenyou're
allrightfortherestoftheday."

"Really?"

"Iswear.Justdon'ttellRichardIgaveyouthepills."

"Mylipsaresealed.I'llbeindebtedtoyouifIcanwakeupinthe
morningandnotfeelnauseated.EvenifIhadn'tflownoverforthe
race,Iwouldhavehadtoquitwork.It'sbeenawfulthispast
week."

"Nowwhenyougobackontheset,you'regoingtohavetobeapregnant
attorney'!"

Withasenseofwonder,ZachwatchedtheanimationreturntoLaura's
face.

"IsupposebothmybabyandIcouldhavesurvivedthecomatheyhaveme
in."

"Coma?Andwhosebabyisit?Cash'sorStone's?"

"Shh,don'ttellanyoneaboutthecoma.Asforthefather,Idon't
know.Isleptwithbothmyclientsandmyex-fiance."

Theychortledmerrily.ObviouslyLaurawasstartingtofeelalittle
better.

Sowashe.

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"Youmayhaveaproblem,"Bevspeculated."Youwouldprobablywantan
abortion."

"True,butremember,moneyiswhatdrivesme.SilvestroMarehianihas
alwayswantedababyandnoneofhiswivescouldhaveone."

"That'sright!Youcouldgivehimyoursforaprice,

andhecouldbringituptoheadthemobinSicily.""I'lllethim
haveitfortenmilliondollars."

"Oh,you'vegottothinkbiggerthanthat.Makeittwenty,andthen
youcanbuyoutAurelia'snewspaperandgetyourrevengeforher
sleepingwithyourfatherwhenyouwerealittlegiftandhewasin
Europebuyinghorsesfromthesheikhwhileyourmomwasdyinginthe
hospitalofthatdisfiguringdisease."

"Perfect.*."

ThatdiditforZach.Heburstoutlaughing.

Bothwomenswungtheirheadsinhisdirection.Lama'sexpression
turnedtohorror."Zach!Thetimetrials!"

"Relax.We'vegottimetospare.Besides,evenifithadmademe
late,Iwouldn'thavewantedtomisswhatIjustheard"

"Butyoushouldbeovertherewiththeteamrightnow,shouldn'tyou?
Yourcoach'llhaveafit."Bevgotupfromthebed,andLaurafollowed
suit.

Zachstudiedherupturnedface."Howareyoufeeling?Honestly."

Shemethisgazewithoutwavering."Throwinguphelpedalot.Ithink
thecroissantIjustateisgoingtostaydown,especiallywiththis
drinkandapple.I'llbringalonganextrasupplyofeverythingin
caseIstarttofeelreallyawfulagain."

Beymovedtowardthedoor."Luckilywe'llallbetogethertoday,and
tonightwecancomebackhereandcrash.Ifworsecomestoworst
duringthetrials,wecanusetheexcusethatwe'reboredandwantto
dosomeshopping.Thenwe'llrunbehindatreeandLauracandoher
thing."

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Zach'smouthquirked."Thetrialsareboring,Iagree."

"Exceptwhenyouheaddownthatramp,brotherdear.Thenwe'llbe
cheeringyoutotheskies."

ButZach'sthoughtswereonLaura.Whateverherhusband'sfaults,
LaurawouldbecheeringTony,whichwasasitshouldbe.

Hisjawhardened.Youdon'tknowhowluckyyouare,Donetti.You
don'tbegintohaveaclue.

"TmgoingtositinbackwithZachandthekids,"Beyannouncedasthey
madetheirwayoutofthehotelandheadedforthevan."Yousitin
thefront,Laura."

"ButIdon'twanttoseparateyoufromyourhusband."

"I'llberightbehindhim.Besides,youcanseethehorizonbetter
fromthefront,andyouwon'tgetcarsick."

"That'strue.WhenIwaslittleandwewereontrips,mydadhadme
sitinfrontifIstartedtofeelfunny.Theoddthingwas,Ialways
didfeelbetter,butIthoughtitwasbecauseIgottositnextto
him."

"Thatworkswithourchildren,too,"Beysaid."Richard'sagreat
dad."

"Laurasmiled."I'msureitworksequallywellwithamotherlike
You."

Zachcouldn'tgetoverhowwellthetwowomenweregettingalong.By
thetimethey'dclimbedintothevanandtheintroductionshadbeen
made,hehadtheimpressionthatLauraandhisbrother'sentirefamily
wouldsoonbefastfriends,andremainsolongaftertheTourdeFrance
wasover.

Richardannouncedtheywereoff,butnoonewaspayingmuchattention,
notwhenthechildrenlearnedthatLaurawasatelevisioncelebrity.In
aweofherbeautyandstatus,theycouldn'tstopaskingquestions.

AsRichardplowedandhonkedhiswaythroughthetraffic-filledstreets
ofSt.Leger,Zachmadeuphismindthatwhenhereturnedto
California,hewouldwatchhersoap.Nowthathewasgettingtoknow
her,hecouldn'timagineherastheconnivingman-eatingMargo.

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Themorehereflectedonthesituation,themoreherealizeditwas
Laura'sTVpersonalityratherthanherowngentleunassumingcharacter
thatTonyhadportrayedtohim.

Itdidn'tmakeanysense--unlessTonywassimplyassuaginghisguiltby
tellinghimselfthatheractionsweremorereprehensiblethanhis.Was
Tonyoneofthosepeoplewithsuchdeep-seatedpsychologicalproblems
hecouldn'tdistinguishbetweenfactandfiction?

Whatevertheexplanation,ithadtobeahellishsituationforLaurato
livewithsuchaman,especiallynowthatababywasontheway.

Richardspokefromthefrontseat."Zach,we'rehere!Thisisas
closeasIcanget.Yourteamvanisthreecarsaheadofus.We'll
stayput.Thisisaboutthebestviewwe'llgetofyoucomingoffthe
ramp."

"Youdogreatwork,Richard.""Yeah,yeah."

"Goodluck,UncleZach!Weloveyou!Wehopeyouwin!"

Thewholefamilygavehimhugsandkisses.HesensedLaura'seyeson
him,thenherhandgraspedhisforearmovertheseat.

"Thankyouforeverything,Zach.Becareful,"shesaidinalowhusky
voice."Don'tletanythinghappen

"Haven'tyouheard?"Behindhiscarefreesmilehefoughttheimpulse
tokissthoselipsthathadexpressedconcernforhim."I'm
indestructible."

Ananxiousexpressionenteredhereyes."Iknowbetter."

Shedidknow.

Cyclingcouldbeextremelydangerous,evendeadly.Overtheyears,two
ofZach'sracingcolleagueshadbeenkilledincrashes.Lauralived
throughthatfeareverytimeTonyenteredanotherrace.Thatkindof
anxietycouldn'tbegoodforthebaby.

"I'lltellTonyyou'rehere,"hesaid,ifonlytoremindhimselfonce
againthatshewaswellandtrulymarriedtohisroommate.

Afterhe'dgottenoutofthevanandhadcomearoundtothewindowat

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herside,shesaid,"Incasehecan'tbreakaway,here'shisbag."She
handedittohimthroughthewindow."Goodluck,"sheadded.

Zachgaveheraslightnodbeforewheelingaway.Don'tthinkabout
her,Wilde.Justdon'tthink.

Bythetimehereachedtheteamvan,hefelthisfirstdropofrain.

"Whattookyousolong?"

AsheadoftheZiffteam,TonyhadeveryrighttoknowwhyZachwas
late.

-Zachclimbedintotheoversizevehicleholdinghis'racingbuddiesand
handedTonythebagLaurahadgivenhim."This.Yourwifeisthree
carsbehindinRichard'svan."

Tonytookthebagandplaceditonthefloor.ThenhedartedZachan
unfathomableglance.Zachhadnoideawhathisroommatewasthinking.
"Holddownthefortforaminute,guys.I'llberightback."

Thesecondthedoorclosed,ZachlookedatLeon."Iseverythingall
right?"

Theirmanagernodded."Tony'supforthislikeI'veneverseenhim
before.Neverunderestimatefemalemagic,"

"Withawifewholookslikeher,Tony'safooltowastehistimeon
bimbos,"Klaussaid,lovingtousetheAmericanslanghewasconstantly
hearing."Yeah,quiteababe,"Vadimconcurre

Zachcouldhavedonewithoutheatinghisteammates'unabridgedcomments
aboutthebreathtakingMrs.Donetti.Heparticularlydidn'twantto
thinkaboutthefarewellsend-offshe'dbegivingTony.

"Gentlemen,"theirBelgian-borncoachbrokein,"shallwegetourminds
onbusiness."Jacques?You'llbeleavingtherampfirst."

"THERE'SYOURHUSBAND!He'scomingthisway!Cool!"

LaurahadbeenfacingtherearofthevanchattingwithZach'sfamily.
AtRichie'sexclamation,sheturnedinherseat.

WearingtheZiff-teamcolorsofredandyellow,Tonystoodoutfromthe
crowd.Aleanromanticdark-hairedfigurewithasmilethatdaTzled

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hisfans.

Ifherbabywasaboy,nodoubthewouldgrowuptobeeverybitas
handsomeanddashingasTony.Butinherheartofhearts,shehoped
herchild'scharacterwouldbeexactlylikeanotherman's,amanshe'd
metonlytwenty-fourhoursbefore.

AlreadyshethoughtofZacharyWildeasherownheroicViking.Hewas
arealmanandoughttobegivingtheworldlessons.

Howcouldtwomenbesodifferent?

Beforeherhusbandreachedthevan,shehad-tomakeasplit-second
decision---stepouttogreethimorstayput?Shedecidedtostayput.
Asidefromthefactthatithadstartedrainingandherstomachwas
stillabitupset,thiswasTony'sgreatestmoment,andhewouldn't
likesharingthespotlightwithanyone,especiallyher.

Sherolleddownthewindowandcalledouttohim.Whenhegottothe
van,hereachedinsideandcaughtheraroundthebackoftheneckwith
hishand,bringingherheadforwardtogiveherahardkissonthe
mouth."Wishmeluck,Laura."

Dozensofflasheswentoffasshe'dknowntheywould,asTonyhad
plannedtheywould.Helovedtheideathatapictureofhimkissing
herwouldmakethefrontpagesofadozenforeignmagazinesand
newspapers.

"YouknowIdo,"shewhisperedagainsthislips,tryingtoreassurethe
insecurelittleboyinsidehim,theboynoonebutafewrealized
inhabitedhisman'sbody.Itwastothatlittleboyshesaidandcould
stillmean,"Iloveyou,Tony,andI'llbehereforyou.Pleasedon't
taketoomanychances."

"That'slousyadvice,Laura,"hewhisperedback,hiseyesalivewith
theheatofimminentbattle.

Shewassousedtohimthrowingbarbedcommentsinherface,they
didn'tfazeheranymore."InthatcaseI'llprayforyou."

"I'llwin,anyway."

Hegaveheronemorekiss,thensalutedeveryoneinthevanbefore
headingbacktojoinhisteam."Goodluck,Tony!"holleredRichard's
kids.

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"Dad,canwegetoutandwalkaround?"Riehieasked.

"You'dneverfindyourwaybacktothevan.""Yes,weWill!"

Whiletheybanteredgood-naturedly,Laurashutthewindow,hergaze
followingTonyuntilhewasoutofsight.

AtBev'ssuggestionRichardstartedtheenginetorunthe
air-conditioning.Withrelief,Laurabreathedinthecoolerair.

"Oh,no!"Beycriedsuddenly."OneofZaeh'sracingglovesmusthave
fallenoutofhispack."

"I'lltakeittohim,"Richievolunteered."Oh,sweetie,Idon'tknow
aboutthat.""Jeez,Morn.YousoundlikeI'mababy!"

"Youcouldbeahundredandstillloseyourwayinthiscrowd,Richie.
Icouldn'thandlethat."

"I'llgowithhim,honey."

Richardtookthegloveandgotoutthedriver'sside.

Riohiefollowed---andsodidhistwosisters."Seeya,Mom.""Seeya,
guys."

"Good,"Bevsaidoncethey'dleft.Shepulled

REBF.CCAWINTERS

downtheblindssocuriosityseekerscouldn'tpeerin."Knowing
Richard,he'llstayoutsidewiththechildrenforawhile.Nowthat
we'realone,comeonbackhereandstretchout."

Lauradidn'tneedanyurging.Soontheywerebothlyingdownacross
fromeachother."Ifeelkindofguiltyornaughtyorsomething."

Beychuckled."Iknowwhatyoumean.Canyoubelievewe'reatthe
siteofthetimetrialsfortheTourdeFranceofallthings,andwe're
lyinghereexhaustedbecausewe'reenceinte,astheFrenchsay,and
nobodyknowsbutus.Here--eatanotherapple."

LaughterbubbledoutofLauraassheaccepteditandtookabite.Bey
wassoeasytobewithshefeltasifthey'dbeenfriendsforyears.

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"It'sanamazingcoincidence.Howfaralongareyou?"

"Fiveweeks,Ithink.Whataboutyou?"

"Thesame."

"I'vebeengoingovernames.Ifit'sagirl,we'llcallherLisa,
afterRichard'smother.Butifit'saboy,I'dliketocallhimZach.
IswearifI'dmethimfirst..."

Laura'sheartturnedover.Shehidherfaceinthecrookofherarm.
"He'sawonderfulman.So'syourhusband."

"AlltheWildemenare.Wait'llyoumeetthebabybrother,Mike.He'll
beinParisforthefinishoftherace."

"Howoldishe?"

"Twenty-seven.HeandCarriejusthadalittlegirl.

Mike'sterrific,justlikehisbrothers.Ofcourse,noonecomparesin
thelooksdepartmenttothefamousTonyDonetti."

Atthatcomment,Laurastifledagroan.

"Don'tletonthatyouknow,butRachelhasaposterofyourhusbandon
herclosetdoor.Zachgotitforherbecauseshebeggedhimsomany
times."ThatsoundslikeZach."Howsweet,Bey."

"Ibetthereareseveralthousandgirlswhohavethatsameposteron
theirwalls."Apause."Doesitbotheryou?"

Becauseofthedifficultiesinhermarriage,andthenatureofherjob,
Laurahadn'tconfidedherproblemstoanyone.ButBeverlyWildewas
growingonLaura,andshewasamazinglyeasytotalkto.

"Itusedto,butnotanymore."Thankgoodness.Withinacoupleof
monthssheandTonywouldgotheirseparateways.She'draisetheir
babyaloneandgiveitalltheloveshehadtogive.

"Howdoeshehandleyourcelebritystatus?"

"He'ssobusycyclingIdon'timaginehethinksaboutitveryoften."

"Ididn'tmeantopry.Forgiveme,Laura--Imustsoundveryrude.

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Chalkituptomyshockovertheprivilegeofgettingtoknowthe
lovelywomanbehindthefamousMargefacade.Ihavemorequestionsto
askthanmyownchildren."

"Don'tapologizeforanything.I'mindebtedtoyou.AsyouandZach
havefoundout,I'mawfullyhuman.

Toohuman,maybe.PoorZach--hewalkedinonmewhileIwasthrowing
up."

"Hecameintothebathroom?"Bevsoundedincredulous.

"Yes.Hesawwhatwashappeningandproceededtotakeexpertcareof
me.Ifhe'sanythinglikeyourhusband,thenIenvyyouthatkindof
devotionandattention.'

"Whatdidhedo?"

LaurafoundherselftellingBevthedetails."I'veneverbeenso

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gratefulforanyone'shelpinmylife."

Bev'svoicesoberedassheconfided,"Heshouldhavebeenafather
severaltimesoverbynow,Laura."

Shebitherlip."Tonysayshe'saconfirmedbachelor."

"That'sZach'sreputation,butnooneknowsthepainhe'sbeenthrough
tobringhimtothispoim."Iknewtherehadtobeanexplanatior

Lauraliftedherhead,herheartpoundinghard."Whathappened?"

LauralosttrackofthetimeasBevtoldheraboutZach'sfirstfiancde
whodiedofabraintumor.Afewyearslaterhemetanother
woman--RosieArmstrong,ayoungwidowmandgotengaged,butthehusband
who'dbeenthoughtdeadsuddenlycameback.Beydidn'tthinkhe'dever
gottenoverher.

"That's...that'srough,"Laura'svoiceshook.

"Honestly,Laura,Zach'sthegreatestguy.Itisn'tfairwhathe's
livedthrough.I'msoscared."

"Whatdoyoumean?"LuckilyitwastoodimforBevtoseethetearsin
hereyes.

"Well,Zach'strainedfortheTourdeFranceandiscompetinginit,I
think,asawaytogetoverRosie.WhentheTour'sdone,though,he's
throughwithcycling.WhatscaresmeisthatIhavenoideawhathe's
goingtodowiththerestofhislife.Hesayshe'snotgoingback
home,andhe'sruledoutthepossibilityofanotherromantic
relationship.Hewon'tputhimselfatriskagain,youknow?"'

"ImIdon'tthinkIwould,either,Bey."

"WhenIthinkofalltheawfulhusbandsandfathersoutthem,andthen
IthinkofZach,who'ssowonderful,Icanhardlystandit."

"

-Lauracouldn'tagreemore."Tonysayshehasaverysuccessful
outdoor-signbusinessinparmershipwiththerestofyourfamily."

"That'strue,butIthinkZachhasgoneintoadeepdepression.After
thefinalceremonies,we'renotgoingtoseehimforalongtime."

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"Honestly?"Laurafoundshewasholdingherbreath.

"Yes.Richard'ssickaboutit.Yousee,heandZacharevery
close."

Laurashuthereyestightly.NowsheunderstoodwhatZachmeantwhen
hesaidhewasn'tintoracingforthesamereasonsasTony.Andfor
justasecondshe'dseenthataloofcoldsideofhim.Sheshuddered
justrememberingit.

"Idon'tblameyouforbeingscared,"shesaid.

Bevsniffed."Hey--Ididn'tmeantoburdenyouwithallthe
Wilde-familyproblems.Imustbeinsanew"No.Iwantedtohear."

MaybeI'minsane,too,butIwanttoknoweverythingthereistoknow
aboutyourbrother-in-law.

Bevsatup."Let'schangethesubject.Youdidn'ttellmeyetwhat
you'rethinkingofnamingyourbaby."

Mybaby.Laurawasprettycertainshewaspregnant,andinfactwould
bestrangelydisappointedifitturnedoutshewasn't.

"We!!"nowthatyoumentionit,ifIhaveaboy,lthinkI'dliketo
callhimCarl,afterTony'sfather.HeandTony'smomwerekilledina
freewayCOllisionwhenTonywasjustaninfant."

"You'rekidding!Howtragic,"

"Itwas.Buthehasthisterrificauntanduncle--they'retheoneswho
haveraisedhim.Ifoundoutonlyrecentlythathisfatherwasa
swimmingchampion,soIguessTonyinheritedhisathleticability."She
paused."Anyway,ifIhaveagirl,I'dliketobecompletelyfrivolous
andcallhersomethinglike...Astrid."

"Nowthat'sacoincidence."

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"I'vebeendoingsomegenealogyonmyfamilyandRichard's,andfound
outtherewasanAstridwaybackintheWildes'Norseancestry.It
meanssomethinglikehavingthebeautyofthegods.It'salovely
name.Whatmadeyouthinkofit?"

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Laura,feelingheatsweepupherneckandoverherface,wasunableto
answer.

"DoyouhaveVikingbloodsomewhereinyourancestry,too?"Bev
prodded.

Lauralaughednervously."None.I'llprobablycallherJane."

"IpreferAstrid."

"Well...Tonymayhavesomethingtosayaboutit.Thenagain,ifwe
haveagirl,heprobablywon'tcareandhe'llleavethedecisionto
me."

"Whendoyouthinkyou'lltellhim?"Bevaskedquietly.

Laurarananagitatedhandthroughhercurls."That'sagoodquestion.
IfI'mreallypregnant,thenthisbabywasacompleteandtotal
accident.Don'tgetmewrong--I'mthrilled.Infact,I'mmorethan
thrilled.I'moverjoyed.Butwe'vealwaystakenprecautions,because
thatwaswhatTonywanted.He'llbeinshockwhenItellhim."

"There'salwaysarisk,nomatterwhat."

"Yes.AsI'vefoundout."

Bevmadeacommiseratingsound.

"Iguessit'snosecretthatmymarriagetoTonyhasprettymuch
failed.BasicallyI'vealwayswantedafamilyandhe'sfoughtmeevery
stepoftheway."

"Oh,Laura.I'msosorry."

"Imightaswelltellyouthewholetruth.Afterthe

TourdeFrance,I'maskinghimforadivorce.""Wow.Lifegets
complicated."

"You'reright.LearningI'mpregnantwon'tmakeanydifference.In
fact,itwillprobablyeaseTony'sconsciencetoknowIwon'tbeliving
alone,thatI'llhavethebabyIalwayswanted."

"Ababyneedsbothparents.""Iwishitwerethatsire"

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"Hi,Morn.We'reback!"Robin'sbrightlittlevoicebrokeinonthem
asshepulledopenthevandoor.

"Goodgrief!"Richardexclaimed,thenthrewbackhisheadandlaughed
atthesightofthetwoofthemlounging,

HesoundedexactlylikeZachjustthen,andLaurawasfilledwith
inexplicablewarmth.

"IfIdidn'tknowbetter,Mrs.Wilde,"hesaidsottovoce,"Iwould
thinkyou'reinthesameconditionasMrs.Donetti."

"Really,Mr.Wilde."Sheremainedpoker-faced,butLauracaughtthe
mischievousglanceshedartedher."Totalkaboutsuchthingsinfront
ofthechildren..."

LauracouldalmosthearthewheelsturninginRichard'shead.

"Bey?"

"GoodLord!You'renot..."

"Iguessmyseeretoutnow,Laura."

"Youmeanyouboth"

"I'vedecidedthere'sgoingtobeachangeinplans.

Ithinkwe'llalldrivearoundthecircuit,insteadofmygoingto
Pads.ThatwayLauraandIcanhelpeachotherandtendthechildren
atthesametime.We'llleavethedrivingtoyou.

"It'sgoingtobealotoftogetherness,butthat'swhatbeingfamily
isallabout.Right,darling?"

Heshookhisheadinexasperation,butLaurasawthegleaminhiseye.
Hewasdelightedtolearnhewasgoingtobeafatheragain.Hewas
delightedhiswifewouldbejoininghimforthetour.Againshe
thoughtaboutTony,Howcouldtwomenbesodifferent?

"Youdopickyourtimes,honey.Mybrother'sgoingtobeheadingdown
thatrampanyminutenow."

"Oneday,won'titbefuntotellourlittleZachorLisathatwe

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watchedtheirfamousunclefideintheTourdeFranceonthesameday
youfoundoutIwaspregnant?"

"Therewon'tbeataletotell,ifyoudon'thurry."

"We'reup,aren'twe,Laura?""Absolutely."Lauracouldn'twaitto
havealegitimatereasontofeasthereyesonZach.Withthe
binocularsshe'dbeabletoseehimclearly,inspiteofthedrizzle.

Richardgrabbedhisbinocularsfromthevisor,thenhelpedhiswifeout
ofthevan.Inplainviewofeveryonehegaveheraresoundingkiss
beforetheyalltooktheirplacesinfrontofthevanwithRichieto
watchthestart.

LaurawedgedbetweenRobinandRachelandraisedherbinocularsto
focusontheactivityattheramp.TherewasnosignofTony.Earlier
he'dtoldherhewouldn'tbestartinguntillateaRemoon

Slowlyshebroughtthelensintofocus.Tohershock,toherjoy,Zach
wasstaringstraightather.Hehelduponeofthegranolabarsshe'd
givenhim,thenputitinhismouthandwaved.

Atthispoint,herheartwasgalloping.

Shewavedback,butthehandholdingtheglasseswasshakingsohard
shealmostdroppedthem.

JustbeforesheheardanannouncementinFrench,heflashedherabroad
smile.Thenheloweredhisheadandbodyintopositionoverhis
bike.

Withinseconds,hewasoff.

Laurafollowedhisprogressforaboutakilometer,thenlosthimashe
roundedacorner.Itlookedtoherlikehewasmovingwiththespeed
ofatorpedo.Notforthefirsttimesinceshe'dmethim,shefound
herselfholdingherbreath.

CHAPTERFIVE

LATERTHATNIGHT,Richardheardthedoortotheirhotelroomopen.
"Honey?"

"I'mback,"Bevwhispered,comingintotheirbedroom.

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Sheshutthebedroomdoor,thenscrambledacrosstheroomandgotunder
thecoverswithhim."IjustgaveLauraapillandshe'sgonetobed.
Whataboutthekids?"

"They'reoutlikelights.Where'sTony?"

"Hehasn'tjoinedheryet."

"Theteamisprobablystillplanningtomorrow'sfirststage."

"Idon'twanttotalkabouttherace.ZachplacedseventhandTony
placedthird.That'sgoodenoughforme.RightnowI'vegotsomuch
I'mdyingtotellyou,Idon'tknowwheretobegin."

Richardchuckledandheldherclose."Well,forstartersI'dliketo
enjoyalittletogethernessandcelebratethecomingevent."

"Richard...wedon'thavetimeforthatrightnow.Ineedtotalk."

Hesighed.

"Thisisreallyimportant,honey,"shesaid."It'saboutZach!"

Hesmoothedthehairoffherforehead,lovingeverythingabouthis
adorablewife."Okay.WasIrightabouthimorwhat?"

"Oh,boy,wereyouever!Butguesswhat?""What?"

"ZachWildehappenedtoLauraDonetti,too!"

"TellmesomethingIdon'talreadyknow."

"Allright.Trythisonforsize.She'saskingTonyforadivorce
aftertheTourdeFrance."

Richardblinked,thenraisedhimselfupononeelbow."That's
somethingIdidn'tknow."

"Amazing,huh?"

"DoesZachhaveanyidea?"

"No.Sheconfidedthattomeinabsolutesecrecywhenwewereinthe
van.Ithinktheirmarriagewas.badfromdayone."

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"That'sashame."

"Itis.Especiallyifthere'sababyontheway.Ilikeher,Richard.
Imean,Ireallylikeheralot."

Hetickledhernose."Ido,too."

"AreyouthinkingwhatI'mthinking?""Probably."

"Doyouthinkthismightbethemiraclewe'vebeenprayingfor?"

"OrdinarilyIwouldsayitwaswaytoosoontotell.ButIhaveto
admitthechemistrybetweenthemispowerful.NotevenRosiehadthis
kindofeffectonhiminthebeginning."

Shecuddledintohim."Iknow.Heactslikehe'sbeenhitwitha
hundred~megatonbomb."

"Doyouknow-whathedidatthestarttoday?"

"What?Youwouldn'tletmelookthroughthebinoculars."

"ThatwasbecauseIcouldn'tbelievewhatIwasseeing."

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Zachwassmilingandwaving,butitwasforLaura'sbenefit,not
anyoneelse's."

"Sohewasthepersonshewaslookingatthroughherbinoculars!"Bey
exclaimed."Breathlessly,Imightadd."

"Zachcouldn'thavecaredlessabouttherace,"Richardsaid."Neither
couldshe.It'sagoodthingherhusbandwasn'taround,becauseI
swearsheandZachdidn'tknowanythingoranyoneelseexisted.Hewas
sobusyeatingoneofhergranolabarsI'msurprisedheevenheardthe
officialtellhimtogo."

Bevsqueezedhim."Oh,Richard.Thishasgottowork!Itcan'tblow
upinourfaces.Notthistime."

"Well,onething'sforsure.Ifthiskeepsup,bytheendoftheTOur
deFrancesheandZachwillbesoclosewewon'tbeabletoprythem
apartwithacrowbar,andhewon'tberunningoffsomeplacewherewe
can'tfindhim."

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"Iknow.ButwhatworriesmeisthatwhenTonyfindsouthe'sgoingto
beafather,maybehewon'twantadivorce."

Richardletoutawearysigh."I'mworriedabout

RF2BECCAWINTER

that,too,althoughmyinstinctstellmeitwon'tmakeadifference.If
amarriagehasgonewrong,achildwon'tsolvetheproblem."

'"Iagree.AmIevil,Richard,wantingthemtobreakup?"

"Don'tbesilly,honey.Obviouslythey'rebothveryunhappyandhave
beenforalongtime.Otherwiseshewouldn'tbecontemplatingsucha
decision,letalonerevealingherdeepestthoughtstoyou.Andasfar
asIcantell,she'sbeengivingoutvibestoZachwithoutevenmeaning
to.Themiracleis,he'sbeenpickinguponthem.Whateverthey're
bothfeeling,itappearstobemutual."

"Ihaveahunchthey'dbereallygoodtogether."

"Theyalreadyaregoodtogether.Imustsaymybrotherhasexcellent
taste.Thisoneisamajor,majorknockout."

"Whoa.That'shighpraiseindeed.Well,she'smethermatchinZach.
Nexttoyouhe'sthemostgorgeousmanontheplanet."

"MoregorgeousthanDonetti?Ourdaughterwouldneverbelieveit!"

"Ourstarry-eyedRachelisagirl.Rightnowshe'scrazyaboutTony
Donettibecausehe'sslickandglamorous.Buthe'sshallow.Ittakes
awomantoappreciateZach,toseethathelookslikeaNorsegod,you
know?"

"What?"Sometimeshiswifeastoundedhim.

"ItoldyouthatwhenIwasdoingtheWildegenealogy,Ifoundout
there'salargedoseofVikingbloodrunningthroughyourveinsbecause
youalldescendedfromQueenAstridofKelby."

Richard'sonlyresponsewasachuckle.

"Oh"-shemadeasoundoffrustration"--you'reamanandwouldn't
understand."ButLauradoes.ShealreadyhasaNorsenamepicked

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out.

"Letmegetthisstraight."Richard'schestwasshakingwithlaughter.
"Whenyoufirstsawme,youthoughtIwasaNorsegod?Isthatwhat
you'retellingme?"

"Well,maybealessergod,becauseyou'realittleshorterthanZach
andyoudon'thavesilvereyes.Yoursaremorefjordblueand"

"Alessergod?Silvereyes?Fjordblue?"

"Honey"-shekissedhimlingeringly"---don'tgetyourfeelings
hurt."

"Trustme.They'renothurt."

"Oh,Richard...I'mseared.IftheDonettisdon'tbreakup,thenit
meansthatZachcouldbeintroubleforthethirdtime."

SuddenlyRicharddidn'tfeelsojovial."Don'tsaythat.Don'teven
thinkit."

"Whatarewegoingtodo?Howcanweprotecthim?"

"It'stoolate.Thedeedisdone."

"Icouldn'tbearitifhegothurtagain"

"NeithercouldI,buttheseareearlydaysandanythingcanhappen.
Let'ssleeponit,shallwe?We'vegotalongdayofdrivingaheadof
ustomorrow."

"WhatdoyoubetZachisoveratLaura'sroomfirstthinginthe
morningtofindoutifshe'sokay."

"I'mnotgoingtobetwhenwebothknowhe'llbetherethesecondher
husbandisoutoftheroom."

"ItsoundspositivelyindecentandhereIamcondoningit.Honey?You
don'tthinkZachwouldactually...Imean...she'sstillmarried,
and"

"Bev,"heinterruptedhergently,"intheframeofmindmybrother's
in,anythingispossible,butlet'snotborrowtrouble.Goodnight."

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"Goodnight."

Richarddrewhercloserandclosedhiseyes.Butbeforehefell
asleep,thelastimagehismindconjuredupwasthelookonhis
brother'sfaceearlierintheeveningwhenhe'dtoldhimthatLaurahad
beentooilltojointhefamilyfordinner.

Richard'snewshadextinguishedthelightinZach'seyes.They'd
suddenlylookedasbleakasawinterbattlefieldafterthelastbody
hadbeencounted.

ZachwasemotionallyinvolvedwithLauraDonetti.

Thatwasn'tgood.NotwhenLaurawasn'tavailableyet.

Butsoon.Godwilling.

LAURAGLANCEDatherwatch.Elevenp.m.She'dbeenasleepfour
hours.

Tonystillwasn'tback,butitdidn'tsurpriseher.Hewasrunning
truetoform.Nostrategymeetingwouldhavelastedthislong.
Everyoneontheteamwouldbeinbedrightnow.MaybeTonyis,too.

Nothinghedidbotheredheranymore.Howsad,shethought.How
tragic.

Theirmarriageshouldhavelastedforever.Theirbabyshouldhavehad
theguaranteeofawonderfulcaringfather.Butalltheshouldsinthe
worldhadn'tmadeithappen.

Earliertoday,whenTonyhadcrossedthefinishlinewiththe
third-besttimeoftheprologue,fansfortheBelgian-sponsoredZiff
teamhadgonewildwithexcitement.Butithadbeenallshecoulddo
towavetohim,becausehernauseahadflaredupagain.

Atthatpointeveryoneinthefamilyhadbeenhungryandexhausted.
RichardhaddriventhemallbacktotheBeaulieu.Laurahadgone
straighttoherroomtoliedownwhilethefamilyhaddinner,andso
shehadn'tseenTonyorZach,who'dbeencollectedintheteam'Svan.

Nowshewashungryandthrewoffthecoverstogetsomethingtoeat.A
pearandanothercroissantsoundedgood.

Asshefinishedthelastofherfruit,thephonerang.MustbeTony.

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Whydidhebothertocallwithanexcuse?Shehadhalfamindnotto
answerit,buttheringingpersisted.Atthelastsecondshewipedher
handswithaclothanddashedacrosstheroomtogetit.

"Hello?"

"Laura?"

Stunnedbecausethedeepmalevoicewasn'tTony's,shesankontothe
sideofthebed."Zach?"

"ForgivemeifIwokeyou."

"Youdidn't,"sherushedtoassurehim.Itwasridiculous,butevery
timesheheardhisvoiceorgotnearhim,sheexperiencedthisfluttery
reactioninside.

"Idon'tknowifyouheard.Therainwascomingdownprettyhardwhen
Klauswentaroundthelastcurveofthecourse.Hecrashedintoa
concretedividerandwastakentothehospitalwithaconcussion.
That'swhereI'mcallingfrom."

"Oh,no!"shecried."Ihadnoidea.Thepoorthing.Howishe,
Zach?"

"He'sgoingtobeokay.They'reabouttoreleasehim:Thewholeteam's
here.SinceTonydoesn'tknowaboutyourcondition,-IthoughtI'd
bettercallsoyouwouldn'tworry."Therewasatension-filledpause.
"Doyouneedanything,Laura?"Hisvoicesoundedhusky.

Shegot.toherfeet,indescribablytouchedbyhisconcern."No.
ThankyouI'mfine.Betweenyourbrotherandhiswife,Ifeelpampered
andspoiledalready.Bevswearsbythemedicineshegavemeearlier
They'reterrificpeople,Zach."

"Yes,theyare."

Shestartedpacingtocounteracttheadrenalinepulsingthroughher
body."Congratulationsonafantasticfinish.Icouldn'tseeitup
closebecauseIletthegirlswatchthroughmybinoculars.ButIknow
thatseventhplaceisremarkable."

"Tony'sthemanofthehour,butit'snicetohear.Forwhatit's
worth,thatwasmybestprologuetimetodate.Ithinkitmusthaveto
dowiththegranolabarIateontheramp."

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Shesmiledinremembrance."There'remorewherethosecamefrom."

"Good.I'llbeoverinthemorningforarefill."Hereyesclosed
tightly."IfthepillItookperformstherequiredmiracle,Ishould
beabletomakeittobreakfastwithyourfamily."

"Aroundeight,Iunderstand."

Shemoistenedherlipsnervously."I-ifIcan'tcomedown,I'llsend
youacarepackageviaRichie."

"Ijustgotoffthephonewithmybrother.HesaysRichieiscrazy
aboutyoualready.Apparentlyyouknowmoreaboutbaseballthanany
'girl'he'severmet.Riohiedoesn'tlikegirls,soyoumusthavemade
quiteanimpressiononhim."

Lauraknewsheshouldn'tbesothrilledbyasimplecompliment:"I
neverhadalittlebrother,butifIcould'vepickedone,he'dbe
it."

"Nooneelseeverhadthepatiencetogothroughallhisbaseballcards
withhimatonesitting."

"Itwasfun!"sheasserted."Doyourealizehecanreeloffmore
factsthanmyownfather?Dad'saYankeefanfromwayback.Until
thisafternoonIdidn'tthinkanyoneelseknewmoreaboutbaseballthan
hedid.JustwaittillIgethimandRichietogether!"

Zach'slaughterrumbledoverthelineandseemedtotravelthroughher,
makingherfeelmorealivethanshe'dfeltinyears."Doyoulike
baseball?"heasked.

"Iloveit.Sodoesmysister.Wewearourbaseball

LADRA'SBABY

capsandgotoeveryeveninggamewithDad,helphimyellatthe
referee,throwpopcorn,stufflikethat.Dad'sjustwaitingforoneof
ustohaveaboyso"--Shestopped,shockedtorealizeshereallywas
goingtohaveababy.

Shedidn'tneedatesttoknowit.Therewereothersignsthatbefore
thismorninghadseemedunconnectedtothenausea.Afterconsulting
Bev,shenowknewdifferently.

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"SohecangotohisLittleLeaguegames?"Zachfinishedforher,but
thelightheartedtonehaddisappearedfromhisvoice.

"Somethinglikethat.Yes."

"Well,inabouteightmonthsitlookslikehemayjustgethiswish."

Sheswallowedhard."Sofar,girlsruninourfamily-mysister'shad
two.Neitherofthemshowsapenchantforbaseballyet."

"Tony'schildmightbedifferent."

Tonymaybethebiologicalfather,butIhavedifficultyassociating
himwithmybaby.

"Maybeyou'llgivebirthtoanOlympicalpineskier,"hesuggested.

"MaybemybabywillturnOuttobeJaneorjohnaverage,likeme."

Sheheardasharpintakeofbreath."There'snothingaverageabout
you."

Thisconversationneededtoend,forreasonsshedidn'tdareexplore.
Butperverselyshedidn'twantitto."AllIcareaboutisthatit's
healthy,"shesaid.

"Amen.Onthatnote,yououghttobeinbed.Goodnight,Laura."

"Goodnight."Shereplacedthereceiverslowly.yoU'rereadingway
toomuchintothis,Laura.ZachWildeisjustadecenthumanbeingwho
wouldbethiskindandthoughtfultoanywomanindistress.

Hedidn'twantherworryingthatTonywasdoingsomethingheshouldn't.
Heknewshewaspregnant,andhadsimplycalledtomakesureshewas
allright.Somemenintheworldwerelikethat.

Besides,she'dheardwhatBevhadsaidaboutZach'spast.Soshe'd
betterforgetwhatShefeltwhenshewasaroundhim.Shemustnotmake
thisouttobesomethingitwasn't,orshecouldbeheadedforthe
greatestheartacheofherlife."ZAC,tOtAMt.t"Vadimcalledtohim.
"Viens.tTheyaretalkingaboutus."

Zachrelinquishedthereceiverhe'dbeenclutchingandturnedin
Vadim'sdirection.WhiletheywaitedforthedoctortoreleaseKlaus,

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theguyshadgatheredaroundtheTVsetintheloungetowatchany
late-nightspecialsontherace.

Onthescreennow,aFrenchsportscasterwasinterviewingthe
Belgian-bornmembersoftheteaminLiege.Nextcameafilmclipof
KlaushavingdinnerwithhisparentsandfriendsathomeinDarmstadt.
Then,viewedwithalotofguffawsandgood-naturedteasing,several
segmentsoftheguysansweringquestionsfornewscommentatorsseveral
weeksbeforetheTOurdeFrance.,

Afteroneclip,whichshowedZachinaraceintheItalianDolomite
mountainsthepreviousfallbreakingawayfromthepeleton--themain
groupofbikers,thenewscasterexplained--JacquespokedZachinthe
ribs;

"Youhear.that,Zach?KingoftheMountaintheycallyou.Thebest
bikeronthehill.Youdeservethetitle."

"MaybenotafterVald'Isre,"Tonybrokein,hisexpressionintenseas
hiseyesdartedtoZach,chat-lenginghim.

What'sgottenintoyou,Donetti?

"So,Tony,"Jacquesinquiredinmildamusement"you'retheall-round
best,butdoyoureallythinkyoucantakeZachinthefifthstage,
whenwehitthemountains?"

"We'llsee,Jackieboy.We'llsee,"camethecockyreply.

Zachgroundhisteeth.Sincewhenhaveyoueverbeenincompetition
withme,Donetti?ButZachalreadyknewtheanswertothatquestion.

Sinceyourwifeshowedupatourroom

Itwasn'tpartoftheplan,wasit,Tony.Despitethepriceless
treasuresshebroughtyou,you'restillangry.

Suddenlyhighlightsofthetimetrialsflashedonthescreen.The
camerazoomedinonthecrowdsnearthecamp.Theguysassembled
aroundtheTVpointedto

Tony,whomthenewspersonhadcaughtwalkingtowardRichard'svan
beforethestartofthetrials.

Zach'smouthwentdryasthecamerapannedtoLaura.Shetook

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everyone'sbreathaway,including,itseemed,thenewscaster's.Zach
hadpickedUPenoughFrenchtorealizethemanwastalkingaboutTony's
wife.Heusedwordslike"belle,"fameuseand"Hollywood."

Theguysstartedwhistlingandclapping.Vadimspokefortheteamwhen
hesaid,Yourwifeisarealbeauty,Tony."

AsthetapeshowedTonyleaninginsidethewindowtokissLaura,Zach
feltasifhe'dbeenkickedinthegut.Theotherguys,oblivious,
cheeredTonyon,nudginghimintheribs,makingsuggestivecomments
thatmadehimgrin.

Attheheightofallthis,however,TonyshotZachavenomousglance
andmutteredsomethingabouthiswifeonlyhavingeyesforthewinner
'beforelookingbackatthescreen.

So,youhaven'tforgivenmeforsiccingLeononyouyesterday,spoiling
allyourfun.Well,that'sjusttoodamnbad.Youwantafightinthe
mountainsofVald'Is&re?You'reon,Donetti.

"Iamreadytogohome,incaseanyonewantstoknow,"Klausannounced,
walkingintothewaitingroomThatbroughtacheerfromtheguys.
SomeoneshutofftheTV.

ThoughZachcouldn'thavebeenhappiertogetawayfromTony,the
thoughtofhimgoinghometoLaura'sbedmadeZach'sbloodcongeal.

"Gladtosyou'reallright,"ZachmurmuredtoKlaus."Let'sgetout
ofhere.Leon'swaitinginthevanoutfront."

"Rhasbenalongday."

"Andlongertomorrow,I'mafraid."

"Yes,Iknow--209kilometers.""Thinkyou'llbeuptoit?"

"WhetherIamornot,Iwilldoit,"Klaussaidfirmly."Ididn'tcome
allthiswaytowatchtheraceontelevision."Theywentoutthedoors
ofthehospitalaheadoftheothers.Zachnoticedthedrizzlehadn't
letup.

"Justtakeaneasypacetomorrow.It'llstillbeflat."

"Icansleepandletmylegsdothework."Outoftherangeofthe
othersKlauswhispered,"IheardTonybaitingyou.Don'tlistento

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him.He'sjustangryhiswifeshowedupandhe'sbeenforcedtokiss
allhislittlebimbosaufWiederseherr"

"He'safeel."

"Letmeteachyouwhattosaythenexttimeheattacks."They'd
reachedthevan.

"What'sthat?"

"DubisteinSchweirr"

Zach'smouthquirked."ItookGermaninhighschool,Klaus,soI'm
familiarwiththat."

"Ja?Well,itgetsthemessageacross,doesn'tit?"

AsfarasZachwasconcerned,Tonywasaswineinanylanguage.
Unfortunatelythefactthateveryoneontheteamheldthesameopinion
didn'thelpthesituation.

ThankstoLauraandthescrapbooks,there'dbeenamomentof
illuminationforTonylastnight.Butithadn'tlastedlong.Tonight
Tony'sdarksidehadtakenoveragain.Theywouldallhavetolive
withitforthedurationoftheTour.

Laurahadtolivewithitonapermanentbasis.Evenmorealarming,
whenshefinallychosetotellherhusbandtheywereexpectingababy,
thependulummightswingevenfartherthatway.

ZachsupposeditwaspossibleTonywouldturnintoaresponsible
parent,buthisgutfeelingwasthatthiswasn'tlikely;histeammate
woldprobablycontinueselfishlydowntheroadhe'dbeenheaded,
wreakingmoredestruction.

Butwhateverhappened,noneofitshouldhaveanybearingatallon
Zach'slife.ThewisecoursewouldbetotakeKlaus'sadviceand
ignoreTony'sgibes.WiserstillwouldbetoavoidLauraasmuchas
possiblefromhereonout.

Easiersaidthandone,heknew,butashepreparedforbedtenminutes
later,hemadeavowtohimself,oneheintendedtokeep.Asofthis
moment,hewasremovinghimselffromtheDonettisandtheemotionally
dangeroussituationsurroundingthem.

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Alreadyhe'dsteppedoverthatinvisiblelinewhenhe'dcalledLaura
tonight.Hecouldtrytorationalizewhyhe'dphonedanotherman's
wife,butnomatterwhatnamehegaveit,itwas.amistake,oneof
severalhe'dmadewithinthepastthirty-sixhours.

Nomore.Hewouldn'tmakeanymore.

Tomorrowmorning,andeverymorningforthedurationoftheTour,he'd
dowhathe'dbeendoingformonthsnow.Eatbreakfastandrideinthe
teamvanwiththeotherstothestartofeachnewstage.

Theonlydifferencewouldbethat,attheendoftheday,he'dmake
certainLauraandTonyweren'taroundwhenhespenttimewithRichard
andhisfamily.Awayfromthecircuit,theDonettisandtheWildes
wouldleadseparatelives.

Resolvehardened,hestretchedoutinbedandbeganflippingthrougha
travelmagazineBevhadinadvertentlyleftinhisroomtheotherday.
AnarticleontheGalipagosIslands,offthecoastofEcuador,caught
hiseye.Interestingarea.HedecidedthatwhentheTourdeFrance
wasover,itwouldbeasgoodaspotasanyonearthtoexplore

Theideaofsailingtothevariousislandsappealedtohim.Infact,
ontheTour'srestdayinVilleneuve,ninedaysfromnow,he'dlook
intomakingtravelarrangementssohecouldflytherestraightfrom
ParisattheendoftheTour.

Foralongtimehe'dbeentoyingwiththeideaofturningoverhispart
oftheoutdoor-signbusinesstotheothersinthefamilyandbuyinga
largersailboat,onethatcouldaccommodatefourtosixpeopleata
time.Therevenuefromoperatinghisownboatcommerciallyfor
touristscouldtakehimaroundtheworld.

IfhelikedwhathesawintheGalfipagos,hemightjustbeginthere.
Whynot?

HeparticularlyneededtostayfarawayfromCaliforniaandanythingto
dowithtelevision.ONTHEFIFTHDAYoftherace,thecrowdslining
themountainroadspresentedarealhazardtothecyclists.Laura
couldn'tbelievehowspectatorscrowdedtheroadsides,pressinginso
farthattheroadwaslittlemorethananarrowpathinplaces.

They'dleftBelgiumforFrancefourdaysago.Theheathadbecome
insufferableandwasgettingworse.Whatwiththat,coupledwiththe
crowdsandthedifficultiesofpedalinguphill,itwasnowonder

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severaloftheentrantshadalreadycollided,resultinginminor
spills.

OneoverlyexuberantfanhadthrownabucketofwaterinFarramundi's
facewithsuchforceitcausedhimtorunintoTony'sbike.Fortunately
bothmenweresuchgoodracerstheydidn'tfall,butthecollision
slowedthemdown.Aspredictedbythemediaandhisownteammembers,
Zachwasstillintheleadbyagoodthirtyseconds.

Eightofthecyclistshadbrokenfromthepeletonleavingtheothers
behindbyafifty-five-secondmargin.IfZachkeptthisup,hewould
winthepolka-dotjerseyforthefifthstage.SecretlyLaurawas
roofingforhimtotriumphinthislegoftheTour,atleast.

SofarFarramundiwasleadingoverall,withPieter

DeRaetoftheDutchteammakingasurprisingsecond-placeshowingand
Tonycominginthird.

"Thecrowdisterrible,Richard!"Bevcried,tryingtogeteverything
onvideo.

"It'salwayslikethis,honey.Zach'susedtoit.Theyallare."

"Well,Idon'tseehowanyonecanwinwhenthey'rehemmedinatevery
turn.Thereoughttobepoliceorsomething."

"No,thatisn'thowthisworks."

"Yeah,Mom,"Richieinterjected."UncleZachsaysall'sfairinlove,
warandtheTourdeFrance."

Richardchuckled,butapparentlyBevdidn'tseeanythingfunnyabout
it."Ihatethis.Don'tyou,Laura?"

"Yes,especiallywhenTonydidn'tstopatthelastfeedzonefor
anythingtoeatordrink.He'sdrivinghimselftoohard!"

"Don'tworry.Yourhusbandhasneverbeeninbetterform.That'swhat
everyoneontheteam'stoldme.AccordingtoZach,Tony'sprettywell
invincible."

IfZachhadtoldRichardthat,thenhe'dnotdoneitwithinLaura's
heating.Infact.she'dhardlyseenhimthepastfewdays,except
duringtheraceitself.Hehadn'tcometobreakfastwithhisfamily

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sincethefirstmorning,andhewasneveraroundatdinnertime.That
phonecallfromthehospitalhadbeentheirlastconversation.

Itlookedasifshe'dbeenrightaboutZach.He'dshownsurprising
concernwhenshe'darrivedinBelgium--makinghercomfortableand
locatingTony,arrangingforhertoridearoundthecircuitwith
Richard--simplybecausehewasthatkindofman.

Butsincethepregnancytestshe'dboughthadturneduppositive,and
Bev'smedicinehadhelpedhermorningsickness,Zachapparentlyassumed
shewasingoodhands.He'dputeverythingoutofhismindexceptthe
race.

Whatafoolshe'dbeentothinkforonesecondthathemighthavehada
morepersonalinterestinher.Zachwasn'tthesorttogetinvolved
withamarriedwoman,apregnantmarriedwomanatthat.Besides,Bev's
assertionthatZach'semotionswereinsomekindofdeepfreezemade
nonsenseofthenotionhemighthavefeltanemotionalresponseto
her.

Ifanyonewasemotional,itwasshe.Chalkituptoherpregnancy.It
seemedTonY'scalloustreatmentofherhadmadehervulnerabletoany
manwhoshowedhertheslightestkindness.Itwashumiliating.

"Laura?"Bevasked."Areyouallright?"

"Ofcourse."

"Sure?You'vegonesoquietIthoughtmaybeyoufeltabitnauseated.
Whydon'twechangeplaces?I'llsitinbackwiththechildren."

"No,thanks,Bev,I'mfine.Honestly.IguessIworrytoomuch.
Tony'sabigboyandcantakecareofhimselfi"

Forthepastfewnightshe'dmadeahabitofreturninglatetotheir
hotelroom.Justwhenshe'dfinallymanagetodriftoff,he'dwakeher
uptolistentohimalkabouthisracingplansforthenextday.

"Henevervolunteeredwherehe'dbeenorwithwhom,butonethingwas
perfectlyclear.HeintendedtowintheKingoftheMountainofficial
title,aswellastheTourdeFranceitself.EvenforTony,hesounded
obsessed.

Sometimessheworriedthatthearticlesinthescrapbookabouthis
fathermayhavemadehimoverconfidentandcausedhimtotakechances

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hewouldn'tordinarilytake.

Richardeyedherthroughtherearviewmirror."Ifyounoticed,Laura,
Farramundididn'tstop,either.They'vebeenproslongenoughtoknow
iftheyneedsustenanceornot."

"Thatmaybetrue,butinthisheateventheycouldgetdehydratedand
notrealizeituntilitwastoolate."

"Well,itwon'tbelongbeforetheyreachthetop,thenit'sdownhill
tothefinish."

"Zach'salreadyoverthesummit!"Bevshouted,stillfilming."Ibet
he'sgoingtowin!"Everyoneinhevanclappedandcheered.

Laurathrilledtothenews,buttrembledinsidebecauseshecould
imagineTony'sfury.Liftingthebinocularstohereyes,shesawthat
herhusbandhadgainedtheleadoverFarramundiandtheothers.

HewasgoingafterZach.

Shemarveledathisspeed,wonderingwherethatFreshspurtoffamous
Donettienergysprangfrom.Thoughthere'dbeenrumorsofdrugs,she
dismissedthem.Afterall,themediacastthatsamesuspiciononmost
famousathletes.

Tony'slegswerelikepistonsastheypropelledhimtothetop.Then,
suddenly,everythingchanged.Itlookedasifhe'dlostcontrolofhis
steering.Shegaspedwhenthebikeveeredfromonesidetotheother,
thenfell.

"Tony'sdown!"Laura'svoiceshook.

"Ithinkoneofhistiresblew,"Bevsaid,exchangingthecamerafor
theirbinoculars."Hurryandcatchuptohim,Richard."

"Iam,honey."

ThroughtheglassesLauracouldseetheZiff-teamsupportwagondrawup
alongsideTonycarryingallthebikesandspareparts.

"He'sstilldown,"Laurawhisperedasafreshburstofanxietyswept
throughher."Idon'tthinkitwasthebike."

"Don'tassumeanythingyet,Laura."

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Richard'sgentlevoicewasmeanttocalmher.ButLauraknewsomething
nooneelseknewaboutherhusband--howdeterminedhe'dbeentobeat
Zachinthisstage.Itwasobvioustoherhe'doverextendedhimself.

DearGoadon'tletthisbeserious.

Shejumpedoutofthevanandrantowardthegrouphuddledaround
Tony'sinertbody.JulesMassonac,theZiff-teamdoctor,tookhis
vitalsigns,thenflashedLauraacompassionatelook.

"Ibelievehe'ssufferingfromheatexhaustion,Mrs.

Donetti.We'lltakehimtothehospital.He'llbeallrightinno
time.Come,youcanridewithhim."

"We'llmeetyouthere,"Richardmurmuredfrombehind,pressingagentle
handtohershoulder.

Shewheeledaround."No,Richard.Zachneedsyou.Pleasegoonand
watchhimwin.We'llallmeetatthehotellater."

"You'resure?"Beyaskedanxiously.

"Yes.Youheardthedoctor.Tony'llbefineinalittlewhile.Go
on,bothofyou.Please.Forme?ThisisZach'sbigmoment!"

Shesawthemexchangeglances."Allright.Butwe'llcometothe
hospitalassoonasit'sover."

Lauranoddedandsqueezedtheirhandsbeforeclimbingintothevan
wherethey'dputTony.Astheydroveoff,thedoctorhookedupanIV
toget.fluidsintohim.Soonasirenblared;they'dbeengivena
policeescorttothehospital.

Laura'sgazefastenedonTony'sfaceandchest,watchingforsignsthat
he'dregainedconsciousness.

Whenheremainedmotionless,sheasked,"Isitnormaltobeoutthis
long?"

Theteamphysician'sonlyresponsewasaworriedexpression.

CHAPTERSIX

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Ovpoundstclpoundst'rtrRroGO.

Zachneveroncelookedaroundtoseeifhisopponentsweregainingon
him.Suchamovewouldcosthimone-ortwo-tenthsofasecondof
precioustime,whichhecouldn'taffordifhewantedtobeatTony.
Today,morethananyothertimeinhisracingcareer,hewantedtobe
numberone---ifonlytowipeawaythatsmugDOnettismileforafew
minutes.

Vald'Isrewaslikeeverytownonthecircuit,withcheeringspectators
andcyclingenthusiastscongregatedonitsmainstreet.Thatmadeit
difficultforhimtoseethefinishline.IncaseTonywasathis
heels,Zachdrewonanyremainingreservesforthelastsprint.

Ahugeroarwentupfromthecrowdashecrosseditfirst.Exultant,
breathinghard,Zachlookedback,eagertoseehowfaraheadhewasof
Donetti,butwellwishersandcameramenbesiegedhimfromallsides,
blockinghisvision.

Asfarashecouldtell,PieterDeRaetcrossedthefinishlinesecond,
followedbyFarramundi.Zachfrownedwhenhecouldn'tseeTony
anywhere.Hadhejustmissedhim,orhadTonyfallenwaybehind?

Hisgazedartedtothepeletoncominguponthefinishline.Vadim
wasamongtheleadgroup.Klaustrailedintheback.Therestofthe
Ziffteamwasfarbehind.StillnosightofTony.

"UncleZach!Youwon!"thekidsyelled,astheyranuptohimwith
Beyfollowing.

Aftermuchkissingandhugging,RichietookchargeofZach'sbikeand
fititonthevan'srack.ThentheyallmovedaroundtowhereRichard
stood,smiling.

Where'sLaura?Zachfeltapitofdreadinhisgut.Somethingwas
wrong.

"Congratulations,littlebro.Thatwasonegreatrace!"Richardgave
himabearhug,butZachscarcelyresponded.

"Whyisn'tLaurawithyou?Where'sTony?What'sgoingon?"

AshadowcrossedRiChard'sface."Hecollapsedatthesummit."

Collapsed?Tony?

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"Laurawentwithhimtothehospitalinoneofthesupportvans."

Zachsuckedinabreath."Atatimelikethis,sheshouldn'tbealone.
Let'sgetoverthere."Hetriedto'move,butRichardblockedhis
path.

"Hey--youcan'tleaveuntiltheceremonyisoverandyou'reawardedthe
polka-dotjersey."

"I'llaskVadimtoacceptitforme."

RichardshookhisheadandplacedhishandsonZach'sshoulders."No,
Zach,you'renotgoingtodothat.Thisisyourbigday.Kingofthe
Mountain!"Hepaused."Tonyfainted,that'sall.Itisn'tserious.
Hewasapparentlysufferingfromheatexhaustion--he-didn'tstopat
thelastfeedzone."

GuiltconsumedZach."That'sbecausehewasdeterminedtobeatme,"he
muttered.

"Whatareyoutalkingabout?Tonywasouttobeateveryone!"'

"No."Zachshookhishead."Youdon'tunderstand."Hestaredinto
hisbrother'seyes."I--IbaitedTony,andthisistheresult.His
chancetowintheTourdeFrancethisyearisovernow."

Zach'sguiltdeepenedwhenherememberedLaura'seyespleadingwithhim
nottoprovokeherhusbandthatdaybeforethetimetrials,buthe
hadn'tbeenabletoresist.Nowthathewasvictorious,Tony's
resentmentoverhavinglostthisstage---coupledwiththefactthathe
wouldnolongerbeabletocompeteintherestoftherace--wouldturn
toaburninghatred.Teammoralewouldplummettoanall-timelow.

Worse,Tonywouldbeimpossibletolivewith.PoorLaura.

Beforeeverythingfellapart,therehadtobesomethinghecoulddoto
amelioratethesituation.

"I'vegottogettothehospital,Richard."

FinallyRichardgaveupthefight."Allright.Let'sgo."

"Letmetalktotheguysforasecond."

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HesignaledtoVadimandKlaus.Theyrodetheirbikesovertohim,
theirfaceswreathedinsmilesforhistriumph.Butwhenhetoldthem
whathadhappenedtheirpleasurevanished.Thiswasthefirstthey'd
heardaboutTony.Thenewseffectivelydashedtheirdreamstobe
champions.

Zach,ofcourse,wasn'tintheraceforthesamereasonsashis
teammates.WithTonydown,thechancesoftheZiffteamcomingout
numberonewereprettywellshot.Deepinhispsyche,Zachknewitwas
hisfault.Hefeltalmostoverwhelmedwithguilt.

Yet,allhecouldreallythinkaboutwasLaura.Inherconditionshe
wouldneedprotectionfromTony.So,ignoringaninnervoicethat
remindedhimhehadnobusinessbeingaroundDonetti'swife,heasked
Va-dimtoacceptthejerseyforhim,thenassembletheotherteam
membersandjoinhimandTonyatthehospitalafterward.Accordingto
Vadim,itwasonlythreeblocksaway.

"Let'sgetoutofhere,"Zachmutteredto'Richardasheclimbedinthe
vanafterBevandthekids.

"MRS.DOnetti?"

AtthesoundofDr.Massonac'svoice,Laura'sheadjerkedaround.
She'djustgottenoffthephonewithherparentsandTony'sauntand
uncle---shewantedbothfamiliestohearthebadnewsfromher,notthe
televisionset--andwasstandingoutsidethecubicleintheemergency
wardwherethey'dbroughtTony.

EveryonefromtheZiffownersandsponsorstothecoachweretherewith
her.Hospitalsecurityhadcalledinmorepolicetostaveoffthe
onslaughtofmediapeopleanxioustocoverthetopstoryoftheraceso
far.LaurarealizedthatwithTonyoutoftherunning,theteamwould
havetoperformbrilliantlythroughouttherestoftheTourtofinish
amongthetopfiveorsix.

"Decto,r?CanIseehimnow?Hasheregainedconsciousnessyet?"

Heeyedhersolemnly."No,hehasn't.Theattendingphysician,Dr.
Sardis,wantstotalktoyou."Heindicatedtheoldermanwithhim."
Please...comeinthisotherroomwithus."

Herheartwaspoundinglikeatrip-hammer,asshefollowedtheminand
heardthedoorclose.

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"Perhapsyoushouldsitdown,"Dr.Massonacsaid.Hereyesdarted
fromonegrimfacetotheother."Idon'twantto.What'swrong?Why
isn'tTonyconsciousyet?"

Sheheardadeepsigh."Iamafraidwelosthim,"Dr.Sardissaidin
hisheavilyaccentedEnglish.

Shestoodthere,notcomprehending."What?"

"Oui,madame.WedideverythingpossibleforTony,butwecouldn't
revivehim."

Theawfulwordshadbeenspoken,butstillnothingcomputed.

"Idon'tunderstand.AreyoutryingtotellmethatTony'sdead?"

Whenneitherdoctorspoke,shefelttheroomstarttospin.Dr.
Massonacputanannatherwaistandguidedhertoachair.Shockmade
herclingtothesleeveofhisshirt.

"Ithoughthefaintedfromheatexhaustion.How...howcouldhedie
fromsomethinglikethat?"

"Wedon'tknowthecauseofdeathyet.Whatwedoknowisthatit
wasn'tfromexhaustionordehydration."

Shewasincredulous."Hisheart,then?"

"MadameDonetti,"theolderdoctorimportunedgently,"wearemaking
testsandwillknowtheresultsshortly."

"Whatkindoftests?"

Dr.Massonac'sexpressionlookedpainedbeforehemurmured,"Blood
tests."

Shepaledevenfurtherifsuchathingwerepossible.Thatmeantthey
weresearchingformOh,Tony.Tearsbegantogushdownhercheeks.
"Youthinkhed-diedofadrugoverdoseorsomesuchthing?"

"It'spossible."

"Buthe'salwayscheckedbeforearace!"

"Hemayhaveinjectedhimselfwithsomethingthatdoesn'tshowupright

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away,butwehesitatetospeculate.I'mverysorry."

ThefinalityofDr.Massonac'stonechilledher.Thishadtobeabad
dreamorsomekindofghastlymistake.Tonycouldn'tbedead!

"Please.Ihavetoseehim."

"Ofcourse."

Theyprecededheroutoftheroom.Dr.Sardispushedthecurtainof
thecubicleasidesoshecouldenter.

BeneaththewhitesheetTonylayperfectlystillontheexamining
table,allanimationgonefromhishandsomebronzedfaceandlimbs.

Inhorrorsheapproachedhisinertbodyandreachedforhishand.She
gaspedtorealizehisskinwasalreadycooling.

Hereallywasgone.

itdidn'tseempossible.Shefeltlikesomeonefunctioninginslow
motion,herownbodylethargic.

"Tony..."Asobescapedher,asSheplacedhercheekagainsthis.
"Whathappenedoutthere,Tony?Thisracewassupposedtobethe
suprememomentofyourlife.You...youweregoingtowinand...and
finallybehappy."

Suddenlyshewasconvulsedwithsobs.Sherestedherheadonhischest
tocryouthergriefforthelittleboyinsidethemanwho'dnever
knownhisparents.Thelittleboywho'dneverthoughthimselfloved.

Shegrieved,too,overthemarriagethateemedtohavebroughtTonyso
muchunhappiness.Andforhisauntanduncle,whowould,nodoubt,
suffermorepainfornotbeinghereandblamethemselvesinsomeway
forhisdeath.

Shemournedthelossforthebabygrowinginsideher,thechildwho
wouldneverknowitsfather.And,dearGod,thatshe'dbeen
contemplatingadivorcewithouteverhavingdiscusseditwithhim.It
wasunforgivable.

"Ishouldneverhaveshownyouthosescrapbooks,"shewhispered
brokenly."Itwaswrongofme.Theymadeyoutrytoohard,wanttoo
much,and...andIshould'veknownthat.Nomatterwhatthetests

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say,I'mtheoneresponsibleforyourdeath.I

didn'teventellyouIwaspregnantwithyourbaby.Forgivemeformy
dishonesty,Tony.Forgivemeforeverything."Shesobbedafresh.

Afteramomentawarmsolidhandclaspedhershoulder."Madame...
whatcanIdotohelpyou?"

Dr.Massonacmeanttobekind,butshecouldn'tbecomforted.

"Please.Letmebealonewithmyhusband.Idon'twanttosee
anyone."

"Whateveryousay.Ifyouneedme,I'llberightoutside.Thepriest
whoadministeredthelastritesishereifyouwishtotalktohim."

"Th-thankyou.Maybelater,"cameherpain-filledwhisper.

"GOODGRIEF,"Richardmuttered,seeingtheenormouscrowdinfront'of
thehospital."Thepolicehavecordonedofftheentrances."

ThepitinZach'sgutgrew."I'mnotsurprised.Anythingtodowith
Tonyisbignews.Letmeouthereandthengobacktothehotel.I'll
callyoulaterwhenIhavesomenews."

Richardnodded."That'sprobablythebestplan.You'reoneofthefew
whomightgetthroughthatline."

"Thanksforeverything."ZachembracedbothRichardandBevquickly
beforeclimbingoutofthevan.

Hewasstilldressedinhisracingjerseyandshorts."GiveLauraour
love,"Bevsaid.

IfZachwasgratefulforanything,itwasthefriendshipthathad
sprungupbetweenLauraandhisfamily.Shewouldneedittoget
throughthisblackperiod.Forlosingtoday'sstage,whichmeantTony
wasnolongeracontenderintheTourdeFrance,wouldputhiminthe
blackestmoodofhislife.

Zachworkedhiswaythroughthecrowdbutwasstoppednearthehospital
entrancebyalocalgendarme.

"mefautpasentrer,monsieur."

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So,hewasn'tallowedtogoin,butnottobeputoff,hesaid,"I'ma
memberoftheZiffteam."

Thegendarmedidn'tbudge."Jeregrette,monsieur."

Zachcursedunderhisbreath."That'stoobadbecauseI'mgoingin,
anyway."

Steppingaroundtheuniformedofficer,Zachduckedundertheropeand
sprintedtowardthedoubledoors,unheedingofthewhistleblowsand
shoutscomingfromthepolice.

Hisspeedworkedinhisfavor.Hemanagedtosqueezeinthedoors
beforeanyonecouldstophim,thenraceddownthehall,followingthe
arrowstoemergency.

AssoonashesawthesponsorsandownersoftheZiffteamhuddledin
thereceptionarea,ZachrealizedthatTony'sproblemhadtobe
serious.TherewasnosignofLaura,buthedidspotafamiliarhead
ofblackhairwithdistinguishinggraywings.Itbelongedtotheteam
doctor.

Zachhurrieduptohim.Withoutpreambleheasked,"How'sTony?"

Dr.Massonacputanarmaroundhisshouldersandledhimashort
distancefromtheothers.

"Welosthim,Zach.Hewasunconsciousbeforehewasputinthewagon
andhenevercameoutofit."Zach'sheadrearedbackinshock.

Alongtimeagohe'dheardwordslikethose--whenhisfirstfianctehad
succumbedtoaninoperablebraintumor.

"Idon'tbelieveit,"hewhisperedmoretohimselfthananyoneelse,
butthedoctorheardhim.

"Noneofusbelievesityet.Neitherwilltheracingworld."

Zachfeltasifagianthandhadjustsqueezedalltheairfromhis
lungs."Where'shiswife,Laura?"

"She'sstillinthecubicle.Ican'tgetherawayfromhim.Shehas
thiscrazyideashekilledTony.She'sabsolutelyinconsolable.I'm
worriedabouther."DearGod.WhathaveIdone?

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Zachheadedfortheonlycubiclewherethecurtainhadbeenfullydrawn
forprivacy.Thegriefhecouldhearcomingfromitclawedathis
heart,rippingittoshreds.

Hetookadeepbreathandslippedinside.Shewasseatednextto
Tony'sbodyandwasrockingbackandforth,herheadburiedinher
hands.

ThepictureofLauraDonettiinabjectdespairwouldbepermanently
etchedonhisbrain.

Zachhadreachedtheendoftheline.Hehadnowheretogowithhis
pain.Instinctively,hemovedtowardher."Laura..."

Sheliftedherhead.

Hebarelyrecognizedherswollentear-streakedface.Inthenext
instantshewasinhisarms.

"Tony'sdead,Zach,andIkilledhim.Ishould'vestayedin
California.Mycomingherehaskilledhim!"

Zachcrushedhertohim,halfsmotheringtheself-condemningwords
pouringfromhersoul.

Heknewexactlyhowshefelt,forhewasconsumedbythesameguilt.

"Ifanyone'sresponsible,Iam,"hemurmuredintotheglisteningblack
curls."IknewTonywantedtowinthisstagetoday."Throughgritted
teethhemuttered,"Ishouldhavelethim.Butforme,he'dstillbe
alive."

"You'rebothwrong,youknow."

AtthesoundofDr.Massonac'svoice,Lauratriedtopulloutof
Zach'sarms,butherefusedtolethergocompletelyandkepta
supportivehandatherwaist.

"Whatdoyoumean?"hedemandedasJulesandanotherdoctorZach
didn'trecognizeapproachedthem.

Julespulledthecurtainclosedtoonlookers."Wejustgotthetest
resultsback.Tonydiedfromblooddoping."

Laura'sfomentedeyesliftedtoZach'sinentreaty."Blooddoping?"

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Theotherdoctorclearedhisthroat."Sometimesathletesinjectan
extrasupplyoftheirownbloodthathasbeentreatedtoenrichit.Dr.
MassonacandIbelievethatyourhusbandprobablyhadsomeonedothis
forhim,afterhetookthenormaldrugtest,togivehimthatextra
boost.

"Butitcanhavelethalconsequences.Todaythebloodthickenedand
formedclots--whichcausedcomplicationsandultimatelyhisdeath."

"Noone'stoblameforwhathappenedtoTonybutTonyhimself."Jules
spokeWithauthority,"Heknewbetterbutchosetotaketherisk,
anyway."

"Zachw"Laura,wildwithdesperation,grabbedhisotherarm"--wecan't
letthepressknowhowTonydied!Wecan't.t"

ZachunderstoodonlytoowellwhyLaurawantedthetruthhiddenfrom
theworld.Andrightnowwhatshewantedwasallthatmatteredtohim.
Heturnedtotheteamdoctor.

"Youheardher,Jules.Telleveryonehesufferedafatalheart
attack."

Thetwodoctorslookedateachother,thenbackatZach.Theywere
obviouslyinaquandary.

"DoitforthesakeofTony'sauntanduncle,whoraisedhimoutof
love,"Zachsaidinalowquietvoice."DoitforLaura,whohasto
facemillionsoftelevisionfanswhenshereturnstotheU.S.But
especially...doitforthebabyShe'scarrying."

Bothdoctorsgaspedinshockanddismay,exactlythereactionZach
wanted.

"Let'satleastallowhersonordaughtertogrowupbelievingTony
diedhonorably.Surelyalielikethatcouldbenosin."

Jules'seyesgrewhoodedbeforehenoddedhisas-sont.

Theotherdoctorsaidsoftly,"InthiscaseIagreethatthesinofthe
fathershouldnotbepassedontotheheadofthechild,monsieur.I
willhaveaprivatewordwiththepersonwhodidthelabworkbeforeI
leavethehospital."

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ItwasjustaswellZachwasstillsupportingLaura,forherbodywent
limpwithrelief.

"Noonemusteverknowthetruth,"Zachinsisted."Notthesponsors,
theownersandcertainlynottheteam.TheybelievedTonywasa
winner.Letthemkeepthatbelief.Tomorrowwe'regoingtogoonwith
theraceandwe'regoingtofinishupinParis---/nTony'shonor.Do
youhearwhatI'msaying?"

"Youdon'thavetodothat,Zach!"Lauracried,butthelookof
gratitudeinthosetear-filledbrowneyesmadehimmoredeterminedthan
ever.

"Jules,"Zachrappedout,"tellLeonweneedhishelp.Astheteam
manager,hecanmakeaformalannouncementtothepresssothey'll
clearoutandleaveLauraalone.I'vegotfamilyherewhocanhelp
takecareofherandinformTony'sfamilyofhisdeath."

HepausedbrieflytoglanceatLaura."It'llbeuptoLauraandher
relativestoplanfuneralarrangements--thosewillhavetobeannounced
atalaterdate.

Inthemeantime,Jules,youcantelltheteamthere'sgoingtobea
meetingatthehoteltonight.Nineo'clock.Everyoneistobethere
sowecanplantomorrow'sstrategy."

JulesnoddedandpattedZach'sshoulder.Hiseyesreflectedamixture
ofadmirationandrelief."It'sthebestplan."

Zachhadbeenwellawareofthefearrunningthroughtheteamdoctor's
mind.Itwaseveryone'sfear.Afteratragedyofthismagnitude,no
onewouldbesurprisediftheZiffteambrokeup,bringingapremature
closetoallthoseyearsofpreparation,ofsacrifice,of
money--everythingendingupanutterwaste.Zachwasn'tabouttolet
thathappen.

"Onemorething,"headded."SinceLaurawouldprefertotellher
familyshe'spregnantbeforeit'sspreadallovertheworldpleasekeep
thatnewstoyourselves,allright?"

"Youhaveourpromise,"Julesmurmured.He'kissedLaura'scheek,
offeredafewmorewordsofcondolence,thenleftthecubicletodo
Zach'sbidding.

Asfortheotherdoctor,hiscompassionateeyesfastenedonLauraand

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hereachedforherhands."Iamverysorryyouhavelostyourhusband,
MadameDonetti.Ifyoushouldrequiremedicalassistance,donot
hesitatetocallmeathome.Dr.Massonachasmynumber."

"Thankyouforeverythingyou'vedone.I'mindebtedtothetwoofyou
forkeepingthisasecret,"shemurmuredthroughhertears.

"Itisalittlethingtoaskforsomethingasimportantasthe
birthrightofaninnocentchildn'est-cepas?"

"ThankGodyouunderstand."

Amen,Zachconcurred.

Assoonasthedoctorhadgone,Zachdroppedhisarmfromherwaist,
thenimmediatelyrealizedhedidn'tlikethefeelingofseparatiom

"Laura,I'llleaveyousometimealonewithTonywhileIcallRichard
tocomeandgetus.IsthereanythingIcanbringyou?Adrink,
maybe?"

Sheshookherhead,notlookingathim."Afterthegruelingraceyou
livedthroughtoday,Ishouldbetheonebringingyousomething."

Sheturnedsuddenlytofacehim."Ihopeyouwon.'

Lord.Shewasthemosthonestwomanhe'devermet.

"Idid."

"That'sgood,"shewhispered."Thankstoyou,ZacharyWilde,IthinkI
justmightgetthroughtherestofthisnight."

Littledidsheknowthatthosewordsweregoingtohelphimsurvivethe
nexttwelvehours.Hisgazewanderedtothelifelessbodybeneaththe
sheet,thebodythathadoncehousedthetroubledspiritofTony
Donetti.ThoughZachhadbeenhisroommate,itsaddenedhimtoknow
that,untilLaurahadsharedsomepersonalinsightswithhim,he'dhad
noideawhatdemonshaddrivenherhusband.

"Comeouttothedeskwhenyou'reready.."

Shenodded."Iwon'tbelong.Ineedtocallhisauntanduncle,as
wellasmyownparents,butI'dprefertodothatfrommyhotel
room."

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Naturallyshecravedherprivacy.Nooneunderstoodthatbetterthan
Zach.

"I'lltellRichardtohurry."

CHAPTERSEVEN

BevEYEDherhusbandanxiously.Itwasgettingdarkandhewasdriving
alittletoofast.Thousandsoflocalinhabitantsandracing
enthusiastswereoutpartying,mostofthemstillunawarethatonly
hoursagoTonyDonetti'sbrilliantcyclingcareerhadendedintragedy.
Whentheten-o'clocknewsaired,itwouldbeadifferentstory.

Therealityofhisdeathstillhadn'tsunkin.Shecouldn'tevenbegin
toimagineLaura'sstateofmindrightnow.Allsheknewwasthat
Zach'sphonecallhadplungedherhusbandintoanabyss.Whateverher
brother-in-lawhadconfided,ithadcausedRichardtocloseup,which
wasn'tlikehim.

Afterputtingthereceiverbackonthehook,he'dtoldRiohietomind
hisyoungersiblingswhilehewentoutwiththeirmotherforabit.On
thewayouttothevan,he'dbrokentheghastlynewstoher.

"Anywayyoulookatit,it'sahellishsituation.Zach'sconvinced
thatifhehadn'tmadeTonyangryandtriedtoheathimintoday's
race,Tonywouldstillbealive."

"Howcouldhehavemadehimangry?"

"YouknowTony'sreputationwithwomen.ApparentlyZachrobbeditin
abouthowluckyTonywastohavesuchabeautifulwifefollowinghim
aroundthecircuit.Iguessitdidn'tsitwell,andTonydecidedto
turntheraceintosomekindofduel."

"Thenthat'sTony'sfault!"

"TrytellingthattoZach.Hisguilt'scompoundedahundredfold
becauseofhisattractiontoLaura."

"Shehasfeelingsforhim,too."Bevsighed."Herguiltisprobably
justasbadasZach's."

'"Maybeworse."Hedartedhiswifeatorturedglance."Afterall,
she'scarryingTony'schild."

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Asusualherhusband'sinsightgottothecoreoftheproblem.Bev
buriedherfaceinherhands."They'rebothgoingtoneedourhelp."

"Youcansaythatagain.RightnowZachhasdecidedhe'sdirectly
responsibleforTony'sdeath."

"That'sridiculous!WesawTonygodown.Hisbodysimplygaveout!"

"No,honey.Tonydiedfromanillegaldrugthatclottedhisblood."

Shegasped.

"Apparentlythiswasn'tthefirsttime,"headded."Oh,poorLaura.
Howawful!"

"ZachgotthepowersthatbetoissueastatementthatTonysuffereda
fatalheartattack.Theonlypeoplewhoknowdifferentlyarethe
doctors,Laura,Zachandthetwoofus."

"ThankheavenZachhadthepresenceofmindtopreventthetruthfrom
comingout.ItwouldhavecreatedascandalandminedLaura'slife,
nottomentionherbaby's."

"Exactly."

"DidshegetachancetotalktoTonybefore..."

"No."Richardtookashudderingbreath."Afterhefell,Tonynever
regainedconsciousness.AccordingtoZach,hediedshortlyafterthe
supportvanreachedthehospital."

"Idon'tbelievethishashappened."Hervoicetrembled."Iwanted
...IhopedthatonedaywhenLaurawasfree,sheandZachmightreally
gettoknoweachother.ButneverattheexpenseofTony'slife!"

Richardgroanedandshookhishead."Let'snotstartfeelingguilty,
too."

"Oh,honey"-shegaveadeepsigh"--thinkhowdevastatedtheteammust
be."

"Zachsaysthey'reinprettybadshape.Latertonighthe'sgoingto
getthemtogetherandurgethemtofinishtheraceasatributeto
Tony.Heknowshowmuchtheywerecountingonplacingamongthetop

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finalists.Untilthisisover,he'llbethegluethatholdsthemall
together."

Bev'seyesfilledagainwithtears."Thatsoundslikeyourbrother.
He'sa-rock.Buthowmuchlongerdoeshehavetogoonbeingthe
giver,Richard?Whenwilliteverbehisturntofindhappiness?"Her
voicethrobbedwithpain.

"Don't,oryou'llgetmegoing."

"He'sdoingthisforLaura,"camehertorturedwhisper.

"Webothknowthat."

"Ican'tbearit,Richard.EvenifshewasgoingtodivorceTony,
she'llstillmournhisloss.Shecaredforhiminsomeways."

"You'reright.AndIcantellyouonething"-heclearedhisthroat
"--Zachwon'tbeinterestedinconsolingthegrief-strickenwidowthis
time.HewastedtwoyearsprayingRosiewouldlayherdeadhusband's
memorytorest,andlookwhathappened!"

"ButRosie'shusbandwasn'tdead.Laura's/s.Hewon'tbecomingback.
Sodon'tyouthinkthere'sachance"

"No.NotforZach.Iknowhim."TheveinsstoodoutinRichard's
neck."Whenthisraceisover,he'llbelonggone--burdenedby
needlessguilthe'llprobablyneverthrowoff."

Sheshookherhead."We'vegottodosomething--maybecallin
professionalhelp?"

"He'dneveragreetothat.BeforeZach'sphonecall,Iwouldhavesaid
LauraDonettiwastheonepersonwhomighthavebeenabletosavehim.
Butit'stoolatenow.Tony'sdeathhascastapalloverwhatmight
havebeen.WhenZach'sdutyisdone,there'llbenoholdinghim."

"Don'tsaythat."

"It'sthetruth,Bev.It'ssomethingIneedtoface."Bevlookedover
atherhusband.IfZachleaves,you'llbeinmourning.Theoneshadow
onourmarriage.

"ItwouldhavebeenalotkindertoZachifhehadbeentheonetodie
outthemtoday,"hemuttered.

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"Richard.tYoudon'tmeanthat.It'sjustyourpaintalking."

"Youdidn'thearhimonthephonealittlewhileago.Hecouldn'tfeel
guiltierifhe'dheldaguntoTony'sheadandpulledthetrigger.
There'snoreachinghim.Honey..."Hegropedblindlyforherhand.

Shegraspedhisandheldontight,feelingthefragilityofhis
emotionstothedepthofherbeing.Inthatinstantherprotective
instinctscamerushingtothefore.

"We'llfindaway."Ipromiseyouthat,mylove.

"IVIADAMEDONETI'I?Justsignthesepapersandwe'lltakecareof
everythinguntilyoudecidewhenandwhereyouwishtohaveyour
husband'sremainstransported."

Thehospitaladministratorcouldn'thavebeenkinder.Neithercould
Zach,whostoodnearby,readytofulfillherslightestwish.

Forthelastlittlewhilehe'dbeenrunninginterference,smoothingher
path.Withouthismasterlyyetsensitivewayofdealingwiththepress
andthecrowds,shedidn'tknowhowshecouldhavehandledanyofit.

Shesighedandmurmured,"TIIletyouknowtomorrow."

"Thatwillbefine."

Shefeltafamiliarhandatherelbow."Richard'shere."

ItwouldbeeasytopretendthattheshockofTony'sdeath,coupled
withherpregnancy,causedherbodytoreacttoZach'stouchanddeep
voice.

ButtherealreasonwasZachhimself,thiswonderfulcaringmanwhohad
appearedsounexpectedlyinherlife,teachingheraboutthethings
she'dbeenstarvingfor,aboutthethingsofwhichshe'dbeendeprived
throughouthermarriage,hadshebutknownit.

Sheknewitnow.

AndifeversheneededproofthatherwifelyloveforTonyhaddied
yearsago,shehadtheprooftonight.Whenshereflectedonthepast,
itstunnedherhowblindly,howinnocently,she'denteredinto
marriage.Tonyhadpresentedadashingexcitingfigure.Heryoung

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hearthadbeeninlovewithlove,andhe'dcomealongjustasthosenew
feelingswereburgeoning.

She'dbeentoonaivetoasktherightquestions.Shehadn'tknown
enoughaboutlifetorealizesheshouldhavetakenmoretimetofind
outwhoTonyreallywas.

Shetookamomentagaintostaredownathisinertbody.Sheknewwho
hewasnow.ComingtoFrancehadbeenaneducationshe'dnever
forget.

Suddenlyagreatcalmdescended,andhertearsdried.Onethinghad
becomeperfectlycleartoher.Itwouldbefoolishtogoonblaming
herselfforasituationthathadalwaysbeenoutofherhands.

Sheknewassurelyassheknewanythingthatherhusband,whohadbeen,
inaway,onatorturedquestforthemeaningofhislife,hadfinally
foundpeace.ShebelievedthatTonywaswithhisparentsnow,thathe
wasgettinghisanswers.Armedwiththisconviction,Laurawas
determinedtomakesureherbabyknewitsplaceintheworldandwould
behappythere.

Butalongsidethisverificationlayanewformoftorment,evenmore
profoundanddisturbing.SheveiledhereyestopreventZachfrom
discoveringhersinful,guiltysecret."Tinreadytogo."

Insilencetheywalkedoutofthehospital,Zach'shandatthesmallof
herback,theirhipsoccasionallybrushing.Laura'sbreathcaught
sharplyatthesweetnessofthehoneysuckleinthewarmeveningair.

ConcentrateonTony.Bethankfulhe'sinaplacewherehe'snolonger
hurting.

TonightwhenshecalledGeorgeandAnn,she'durgethemtoovercomethe
guiltshewassurethey'dfeel.Perhapsifsheexplainedsomeofwhat
shewasfeeling,theycouldfindpeace.Ifshewasn'tsuccessful,
she'daskthemiftheywantedtogowithhertoseekprofessionalhelp.
HeavenknowsIneedtotalktosomeoneaboutmywickedthoughts.

Severaltimesonthewaytothevan,shefeltZach'sall-seeinggaze
studyingherprofile,tryingtogaugethedepthofherpain.Ifyou
knewwhatIwasthinking,Zach,you'dberepulsed.

"Laura?"Richardwasthefirstoneoutofthevan.Hisheartfelt
embracesaiditall.SodidBev's.Wheredidthesewonderfulpeople

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comefrom?Whatisittheysayabouttruefriends?Thosewhoare
willingto

REBECCAWIN'IRS

mournwiththosewhomourn,tocomfortthosewhoneedcomforting?

ThetearsLaurashednowweretearsofgratitude--totheWildesand
theirgenuineoutpouringoflove.

"We'reatyourdisposal,youknow,Laura,"Bevsaidafterthey'dall
climbedintothevan.

"That'sright.Tellushowwecanhelp,"Richardcalledoverhis
shoulderastheydroveoff,

Zachsatacrossfromherinthebackofthevan,hispowerfullegs
extended,hiseyesonherfacewhilehewaitedforhertospeak.He
hadtobebeyondexhaustion,especiallyafterwinningtoday'srace,but
itdidn'tshow.Thefaintshadowofbeardonlyenhancedthoserugged
features.

She,ontheotherhand,knewshemustlookasdreadfulasshefelt.
"A-afterImakesomephonecallshome,Iplantogetagoodnight's
sleepsoI'llbereadytotravelwithyourfamilyinthevan
tomorrow."

WiththatunexpectedannouncementZachsatforward,hisexpression
disbelieving."You'renotplanningtoflybacktoCalifornia?"

"No,"shereplied."Ifyoudon'tmind,I'dliketofollowyouaround
thecircuitaswe'doriginallyplannedandholdamemorialservicefor
TonyinPadsaftertheTourisover.It'swhathewouldhavewanted.
Withthismuchleadtime,hisfamilyandminewillbeabletojoin
us."

Alongtension-filledsilenceensued.Zachstaredather,hisgaze
stilldisbelieving."Butthebaby..."

"ThankstoBev,I'mfine.Zach,IwanttodomyparttohonorTony's
memory,too.Icouldn'thandlegoinghomerightnow,notwhenallhis
racingbuddiesarehere."Notwhenyou'rehere."Butifit'sa
problem,I'llrentmyownre

"Whatinhellareyoutalkingabout?"hebrokeinwithuncustomary

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harshness."YouhonestlythinkI'dletyoudrivethecirenitalone?"
Shemoistenedherlipsnervously."No.Ididn'tthinkthat.But
Tony'sdeathhaschangedeverything,andit'spossibleRiohieandthe
girlsmightbeuncomfortableridinginthecarwithme."

"Don'tbeabsurd.They'recrazyaboutyou.Ifanything,they'llget
onyournervestryingtoohardtomakeyoufeelbetter.Richie'll
probablyofferyouhisentirebaseball-cardcollection."

Laurasmiledsoftlyatthat,andhereciprocated.

"I'mgoingtoletyoutwoouthere,thenlookforaparkingplace,"
Richardannounced.

LaurahadbeensoimmersedinherconversationwithZachshehadn't
realizedthey'dreachedthehotelwherethey'dbestayingforthe
night.

Withoutcomment,Zachgotoutofhisseatandopenedthebackdoorof
thevan,thenhelpedLauradown.Immediatelytherewerecamerasinher
face,reportersbombardingherwithquestions.

"WilltherebefuneralservicesinCalifornia?"

"Didyouknowyourhusbandhadapreexistingheartcondition?"

"Howsoonareyougoingbackonyourtelevisionshow?"

"There'vebeenrumorsyourhusbandwasondrugs.Wouldyoucommenton
that?"

ThentoZach--"WithDonettioutoftherunning,Mr.Wilde,canwe
assumethatasKingoftheMountain,you'renowthenumber-onehopeful
totakehometheyellowjerseyfortheZiffteam?"

Laurahadneverlikedtheinsensitivityofthenewsmedia,buttonight
shefeltaparticularaversiontothem.Zach'sarmwentaroundher
shouldersprotectively,aneloquentexpressionofhisowndisgustat
theircallousness.

"Theteammanagerhasalreadygiventhepressastatement,"hesaid
firmlyasheledherthroughthethrongofreporterscongregatedaround
theentrance.

Sheslowed."It'sallright,Zach.Letmedealwiththisnow,then

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maybetheywon'thoundussomuchtomorrow."

Hestiffened."You'resure?"Thefierceexpressiononhisfacewould
havefrightenedoffanynormalperson.ButTony'sdeathduringthe
TourdeFrancehadprovidedthekindofnewsthatproducedthree-inch
headlinesandcreatedmillionsofdollarsinrevenue.Therewasno
stoppingthem.

"Yes.Justkeepholdingontome,"shebeggedsoftly.

Hisanswerwastodrawherclosertohisside.Sheheardhissharp
intakeofbreathbeforehesaid,"Despitehergrief,Mrs.Donettiis
willingtosayafewwords.Woulditbepossibleforyoutogivehera
littlespace?"

SomethinginZach'stonehadasoberingeffectonthecrowd,andthey
backedoffafewpaces.

Swallowinghard,shebegan,"Nooneiseverpreparedforthedeathofa
lovedone.ButifTonycouldhavechosenhistimetogo,itwouldhave
beenduringthisrace.He'dplannedanddreamedof.itsince
childhood."

Hervoicewasshakingbutshecouldn'tstopit."Hisfather,Carl
Donetti,wasagreatswimmingchampion.Myhusbandinheritedhis
competitivespiritandtalentfromhim.ThismorningTonyawokeatmy'
sidesoexcitedabouttheraceIbelievehisheartjustcouldn'thandle
everythingrequiredofit."

Shepausedforbreath."Butonahappierside,maybethebabywe're
expectinghasinheritedthosefamousDonettigenes.It'spossiblethat
twentyyearsdowntheroad,thewordwillonceagainseetheDonetti
nameonthesportspages."

Laurahadbeenforcedtomakeasplit-seconddecision.Justasshe
knewitwould,herrevelationhadcreatedaminorexplosionof
excitement.ButitwasforZach'sprotection,ifanyone's.

Sheknewhowgossipranrife.Assoonassomeonefoundoutshewas
pregnant,theywouldn'tthinktwiceaboutattributingherbabyto
anotherman,andZachwouldbetheirnumber-onetarget.Evennow,
becausehewaswithher,supportingher,theycouldbeforgivenfor
thinkingheheldanimportantplaceinherlife.

"Itmightevenbeagirl,"sheaddedtodiverttheirthoughtsfurther.

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Becausetheywerehangingoneveryword,shegotanapprovingchuckle
outofthem.ButitwastheextrasqueezefromZachthattoldhershe
wasontherighttrackwiththis.

"SinceI'mgoingtobeamotherainmyopinionthegreatestcareeron
earth--Iplantostayhomeandraisemychild.Tonylosthisparents
ininfancy,andhewasrearedbyanauntandunclewhoadoredhim,who
devotedtheirlivestohim.

"Iplantodothesameforourchild,andIknowthisisWhatTony
wouldhavewanted.Butifyouwouldbesokindastogivemetwelve
hourstoinformthetelevisionstudioofmydecisiontoresign,Iwould
begrateful."

ActuallyLaurawasn'tworried.She'dbetalkingtoherparentsbefore
long.Inreality,theywereheremployers,sotherewasnoproblem.

Anoddstillnesshadfallenoverthecrowdofreporters.Shehadthe
oddestimpressiontheywerereallylisteningtoher,somethingthathad
neverhappenedbefore.Nowwouldbethetimetosaywhatwasvital.

"Themanstandingnexttome,holdingmeupsoIwon'tfalldownina
heap,isnostrangertoyou.ZacharyWildehasbeenTony'sroommate
allthesemonthsoftraining.There'snoonemyhusbandtrustedmore.
NowIknowwhy."Hervoicebroke.

ShefeltthetremorthatshookZach'sbodyjustthen."Hehasletme
knowthattheZiffteamisaliveandwell.They'regoingtofinishthe
TourdeFranceasif

Tonywereridingatthehelm.Infact,whocouldrefutethathewon't
berighttherewiththem,eggingthemon?"

Shepausedforbreath."Whenit'sover,myfamilyandTony'swillhold
funeralservicesforhim."

Shewasstartingtofeellight-headed."Tonylovedthethrillof
competitionwithallitsupsanddowns.HewouldbethefirstPerson
totelleveryonetogetonwiththeraceandrememberthegood
times."

Therewasasuspiciouspricklingbehindherlids."I,forone,intend
todojustthat.Nowifyou'llpleaseexcuseme,mymostdifficultjob
isstillaheadofme.Ihavetophonetherelativeswholovedhimlike
asonandtellthemTony'sgone."

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Absolutequietreignedaseveryonebackedoff,allowingherandZachto
proceedintothehotel.

Unbeknownsttoher,theZiffteam,sponsorsandownershadcongregated
inthefoyerandmusthaveheardhersPeech,becausetheybegan
clapping.OnebyonetheystepPedoutoflinetoembraceherandoffer
theircondolences.Everyeyewassuspiciouslybright.Especially
Richard'sandBev's,who'drejoinedthemwithoutherbeingawareof
it.

Sheheardsmotheredcoughsandmoreclearingofthroats.Emotionswere
runninghigh.

Bythetimetheyfinallyreachedtheelevator,sheclungtoZachfor
fearshe'dcollapsefromtoomuchfeeling.Noonetriedtojaminside
withthem.

Whenthedoorclosed,sealingthemofffromtheothers,Lauraletout
anaudiblesigh.

"Myfeelingsexactly,"Zachmurmuredintoherhair."Youwere
wonderfuloutthere."

"Ithoughtthat

"Iknowwhatyouthought,"heinterjected,hisvoicethickwith
emotion."Youwererighttotalkaboutthebabyandmeinreferenceto
Tony.Yourfranknesswillpaydividendswhenthereportersgetbusyon
theirstory."

Hiseyesweredeepwellsofgrayashewenton,"Youspokefromyour
hearttonight.!felttheeffectonthecrowd.Youmesmerisedthem.
Youmesmerisedme."Heshookhisheadslowly."Istandinaweofyou,
Laura."

Shegrasldbothhishands,studyingthembeforeshegazedupathim
oncemore."Thenwe'rebothinawe,becauseyouweretheonewho
convincedthedoctorstosaveTony'sreputation.FromthemomentI
arrivedinSt.Ltger,you'vebeenmyguardianangel."

Keepsayingit,Laura.Keepsayinghe'syourguardianangel.Don't
thinkofhimasaman.Youmustn't.t

Itwasallshecoulddotoriseontiptoeandkissonlyhischeek,

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insteadofhismouth.Thensheletgoofhishandstoexitthe
elevator.

Hedetainedherlongenoughtosay,"Here'syourroomkey.Number
forty-three.Richardhandedittomeoutsidethehospital.Theirroom
isacrossthehallincaseyouneedanything."

Lauratookthekeyfromhim,fightingtheurgetoaskhimwherehis
roomwas.Ittookallherwillpowernottosuggesthedropbyherroom
whenhe'dfinishedtalkingtotheteam.

Whatwouldbeherexcuseforrequestingevenoneminuteofhisvaluable
time?

Ineedyou,Zach.SinceI'vemetyou,Idon'twantyououtofmy
sight.Whenyou'rearound,myworldfeelscomplete.Comeinsideand
holdme.

Makelovetome.

Allshesaidwas,"Iwon'tbedisturbinganyone.Theyneedagood
night'ssleep,too.Sodoyou."

Hisquestionwasunexpected."Doyouthinkthat'spossible?"

Herheadcameup.Shesteeledherselftokeepfrombreakingdown."No.
Eachofusishavingtodotheimpossible.Rightnowit'syourturn
togodownstairsandinfecttheteamwithyourbrandofWilde
heroism."

Hisbrowsknit."Heroism?"Heactedasifhe'dneverheardofthe
word.Howlikehim.t

"Arealherojustdoeswhatneedsdoing.That'syou.Goodnight."

Zachdidnothingtodetainher,butwhensheclosedthedooronhim,he
couldn'tmakehimselfwalkaway.

Lord.Howcouldsheshuthimoutlikethat?Untilafewminutesago
hecouldhaveswornshefeltexactlythesamewayhedid.

Hewanted,neededhersomuchthatdesirewascoursingthroughhis
body,ignitingdormantfeelings,makingthemoozefromtheirhidden
placestoinfiltratehislastlineofdefense.

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Butsheobviouslywasn'tsufferingfromthesameaffliction.

UnlikeRosie'shusband,NickArmstrong,TonyDonettiwouldnotbe
comingbackfromthedeadtoreclaimhiswife.He'ddonesomething
muchworse.

He'dlefthisghostbehindtodothefightingforhim,anadversary
morecunning,moredangerousandcruelthanthelivingentity.Inthat
kindofunequalstruggle,noonecameoutthewinner.

AsZachstoodthereagonizing,hishandstightenedintofists.Not
thistime,Wilde.

Ashudderrackedhispowerfulbodybeforehewheeledawayfromthe
door.

TheminuteKlaussawhimenterthefoyerofthehotel,hemovedtoward
him.Overthepastfewmonths,they'dbecomegoodfriends."Thatwas
oneamazingspeechTony'swifemadeoutthere.Youcancastigatemeif
youwant,buthedidnotdeserveher."Zachstruggledforbreath."I
agree."

"So"-heclaspedZach'sshoulder"--wewillridetothefinishlinefor
herandthelittleonetocome,Ja?"

"Yeah,"Zachmuttered.Hispathset,hesaid,"Klaus?Doyoumindif
ItakeyouupontheoffertoroomwithyouandVadimfortherestof
thecircuit?Ithinkit'simportantthattheteamsticktogetheruntil
theendoftheTour."

TheGermangaveaninfectiousgrin."Inotonlydonotmind,Iam
delighted.AsforVadim,hehasbeenmoaningthattheoldteam
camaraderiehasbeenmissinglately."

You'reright,Klaus.Awomanhasawayofwreakinghavoc.Butnever
again.You'reoutofmylife,LauraDonetti.

"Afterweplanourmovesfortomorrow,"Zachsaid,"I'llgrabmygear
andjoinyou.What'syourroomnumber?"

"Twenty-one.I'lltelltheconciergetorollinanotherbed."

Twofloorsdown.Good.

"Ihaveanotheridea."Zachwassuddenlyfullofthem."Isawacafe

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afewdoorsaway.Let'sgathertheteamandheadthere."

"Iknowtheexactone.Thebeerisaverage,butthelocalfreuleins
arenothingshortofwunderbar,ifyouknowwhatImean."

"WhydoyouthinkIsuggestedit?"

"Ja?"TheGermaneyedhimspeculatively."Thepressreferstoyouas
thedarkhorsefromNewportBeach.Ibelievetheyareright.Haveyou
beenholdingoutonme?"

Zach'sfacebrokeoutinawolfishsmile.I'mfightingformylife,
Klaus."Theydon'tcallmeKingoftheMountainfornothing.Ja?"he
mimicked.

Klausnodded."That'sright.Wehaven'tcelebratedyourvictoryyet.
Anoversightwewillrectifyafterwededicatethefirstroundof
drinkstoTony."Heturnedtotheothers."Hey?Guys?"

WhileKlausshepherdedeveryoneoutthehotelen144

trance,Zachlaggedslightlybehind.HeshouldhavetoldRichardand
Bevaboutthechangeinhisaccommodationssotheywouldn'tworrywhen
hedidn'tshowupattheroomnextdoortothem.

ButZachcouldn'thandlethekindofgut-levelbare-bonesinterrogation
hisbrotherwouldsubjecthimto.Morningwouldbesoonenough
for-that.

Ashesteppedoutintothefragrantsummernight,itsnocturnalbeauty
calledtohisachingheartandbodylikeasiren'ssong,bringinga
staggeringwaveoffreshpain.

Keepwalking,Wilde.Justkeepwalking.

ITWASAFTERMIDNIGHTwhenBevheardthehotelroomdooropenand
close."Honey?"Shehurriedoutofthebathroom,leavingherbrushon
thesink."How'sZach?"

Richardgrimaced."Ihavenoidea.Ihaven'tseenhim."

Sheclosedthedistancebetweenthemandthrewherarmsaroundhis
neck."Thatmeanshe'swithLaura,"shededucedwithagrowing
excitement.

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"No.He'snot.Theconciergesaidheleftthehotelwiththeteam
hoursago,buthethoughtmostofthemwerebackbynow."

Bevtookadeepbreath,awareofthehurtZach'snonappearancehad
causedherhusband.Aftersuchatraumaticday,sheknewRichardwould
feelhelplessuntilhecouldtalktohisyoungerbrotherandfindout
whatwasreallygoingoninsidehim.

Herloveforherhusbandmadeherwanttotakeawayhispain."I'mnot
surprised.TheteamhasalwayslookedtoZachforleadership.He's
eitherwiththecoachorLeon,workingoutlast-minutedetails.He'll
probablyknockonthedooranyminutetosaygood-night."

"Maybe."

"There'sno'maybe'aboutit.Comeon.Thekidsareasleep."She
slidherhandsoverhischest."Getundressedandliedown,"she
whispered."I'mgoingtogiveyouoneofmydeluxebackrubs."

Hecoveredherhands,stillingthem."HaveItoldyoulatelythatI
couldn'tlivewithoutyou?"

Hereyesmistedover."Allthetime.Iloveyou,too.Sovery
much,"

"Iknow.It'swhatkeepsmegoing.Isthemsomethingwrongwithme
thatIwantthathappinessformybrother?"Hisvoicewasthickwith
tears.

Sheshookherhead."No,darling.Iguesswe'regoingtohavetobe
patientalittlelongerwhilewewaitforittohappen.Inthe
meantime,we'llcontinuetogiveZachallthesupportandlovehe
needs."

"Whatifhedisappearsandwecan't?""We'llfindaway,nomatter
what."

Butbymorningthatpromisehadalreadybeensorelytested.Notonly
hadZachavoidedcomingtotheirroombeforegoingtobed,hemadeonly
atokenappearanceatbreakfast,andthatwastoinformthemthathe'd
hookedupwithVadimandKlausforthedurationoftheTour.

Laurahadn'tyetcomedowntoeat,butBevnoticedthatZachdidn't
evenmentionher.GivenhistotalabsorptionwithTony'swife
yesterdayaftertherace,forhimtosuddenlydisplayacompletelack

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ofcuriosityoverherandhercreaturecomfortstodaysetoff'warning
bells.Whenhegaveeachofthemabriefhugandhewentoffwiththe
restoftheteam,Bevfeltherheartcontractpainfully.Ifshewas
sufferingthismuch,thenshecouldjustimagineherhusband'stortured
stateofmind.

TherewasnoquestionthatTony'sdeathhadcausedsomethingtosnapin
Zach,withtragicresults.Thethingsheandherhusbandhadworried
abouthadcometopass:ratherthanbevulnerableagain,Zachhad
decidedtodistancehimselfphysicallyandemotionallyfromLaura.
ClearlytherewasnothingBevorRichardcoulddoaboutit.

BecauseLaurawouldberidinginthevanwiththeirfamily,Zachdidn't
havetoworryaboutherandcouldrelinquishallcaretaking
responsibilitiestothem.Butintheprocess,hewasdistancing
himselffromthefamily,too,andshecouldtellitwasalreadyhurting
Richard.

Lauradidn'tmakeherwaydownstairstothediningroomforanotherten
orfifteenminutes.Bevhadthedisquietingsuspicionthatshe'd
waitedupstairsonpurpose,knowingZachwouldhavebeenupearly.

Aftershearrivedatthetable,she,too,avoidedmakinganyreferences
tohim.QuietlyshetoldBeyandRichardaboutherphonecallshome,
thecombinedshockandgriefofbothherparentsandTony'sauntand
uncle.IthadbeendecidedthatafteramemorialserviceinPads,the
familieswouldaccompanyTony'sbodyhometoCalifornia,wherefuneral
serviceswouldbeheldattheirfamily'schurch.Thenhewouldbe
buriednexttohisparents.

OtherthanlettingBeyandRichardknowshe'daskedthehospitalto
shipTony'sbodytoafuneralhomeinPads,shedidn'ttouchonthe
personalagain.Ifshewasplaguedbynausea,shedidn'tmentionit
andinvolvedherselfinthechildren'sconversation.Shewas,Bev
thought,behavingfartoonormallyforapregnantwomanwhohadjust
lostherhusband.ButRichiewasoblivious.Heseemedtothinkthe
sunroseandsetwithher,andhefoughtconstantlyforherattention,
winningoutoverthegirls.

ThoughLaurahadanaturalwaywithyoungpeople,evenBeycouldsee
thatshewasoverdoingthepretensethatallwaswell.Wheneverthe
childrenmadeareferencetoZach,sheglossedoverhisnameasifhe
meantnothingmoretoherthananyoneelseontheZiffteam.

SeveraltimesRichard'sanguishedglancedartedtoBev,themessage

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poignantandunmistakable.Whenhefinallysuggestedtheyleavethe
tableandgetreadytofollowtheracersforthenextstage,Bevrose
fromherchairwiththeawfulpremonitionthatgettingthroughthenext
twoweeksundertheseconditionswouldheatruetestoftherefiner's
fire.

CHAPTEREIGHT

THOUSANDSOFPEOPLEjammedtheChamps-ElyseesneartheL'Arcde
TriompbetowatchtheracerscrossthefinalfinishlineoftheTourde
France.

Aroped-offareahadbeenreservedfortheZiff-teamsuppOrtgroupand
families.WhenRichardparkedthevanonasidestreetneartheir
vantagepOint,Laurahurriedonahead.Foronething,therehadbeen
somuchtogethernessinthetwoweekssinceTony'sdeaththatshefelt
BeyandRicharddeservedsometimealonewiththeirfamily.

Butthemostcompellingreasonforseparatingherselffromthemwasher
needtowatchZachaslongasshecouldthroughthebinoculars.Too
soonshewouldbejoinedbyherparentsandTony'sauntandunclein
thecordoned-offarea.Shewantedthesefewextraminutesto
herself.

Sofar,allsevenoftheZiffteamhadmadeafantasticshowingwithno
seriousmishaps.Shewassoproudofthemshecouldburst.Klausand
Vadimhadwonseveralstagesontheflats.Dayafterday,kilometer
afterkilometer,throughsunshineandcloudbursts,theyhadallridden
withunflaggingstaminaandcourage.ItwaspossibleKlausmight
finishupinthefirstsix.

ButanyonecouldseethatitwasZachwhosetthegruelingpaceforthe
team.Hewastherockwhoanchoredtheyoungerracersandkeptthem
focused.

ThepasttwoweekshadalsobeenanagonizingexperienceforLaura,
becausewitheachpassingday,sheknewtheendwasdrawingnear.After
thememorialservice,Zachwouldbegonefromherlifeforgood.

Notoncehadhesoughtheroutduringtheirfreetimes,eitherbefore
oraftereachday'srace.Notoncehadhecometoherroomtoinquire
ifsheneededanything.

Thoughshe'dtakenmanywalksaloneinthequainttownsofFrancewhere
they'dspenttheirnights--hopingtobumpintohim--thedesiredresult

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hadneveroccurred.Clearlyhewantednothingmoretodowithher.

Becausehe'ddrawntheline,shedidn'tdarecrossit.Somethingtold
herthatifshetriedtoapproachhim,hewouldrejecther,andthis
wouldbringpainbeyondenduring.

Tony'sdeathhadresultedinadifferentkindofgrief,asadnessmore
thanasenseofloss,butintwoweeksshe'dcometogripswithit.The
excruciatingpainshewasexperiencingnowhadeverythingtodowith
Zach,becausehe'dcuthimselfofffromherandhisfamily.Noone
saidanything,butshe'dlearnedagreatdealfromtheconfidencesBev
hadsharedwithherduringthosefirstfewdaysinSt.Ltger.His
brotherandsister-in-lawwerehurting,too.

NeedingtoseeZach,sheinchedherwaythroughthecrushofbodiesin
theninety-plusheat.Whenshecouldseetheracers,sheliftedher
binocularsandspottedFarramundiinthefardistance.

ThatmighthavebeenTonyoutinfrontifonly.Shefeltapangthat
thiscouldn'tbeherdeceasedhusband'smoment,butshekepther
glassesraisedinsearchofZach.

Klauswascomingupfast,jockeyingforawinningpositionamongthe
GermanandDutchteammembersbehindFarramundi.Anothergrouprode
behind.ShecouldbarelymakeoutJacques.ThenshesawZach;Ilove
you,Zach.You'llneverknowhowmuch.Shewatchedhimaslongasshe
could,thenheadedtowardtheZiff-supportarea.Thegrief-stricken
facesofTony'sauntandunclebroughtbackbittersweetmemoriesofthe
past.Thenshespottedherparents.Everyonecaughtsightofherat
thesametime.

"Laura!"theyallcried,andrantoembraceher.BythistimeRichard
andhisfamilyhadjoinedthem,buttheintroductionshadtobecut
shortbecausetheracerswerefastapproachingthefinish.

AroarwentupfromthecrowdasFarramundicrossedoverfirst.But
Laura'sgazewasrivetedonthefourZiffteammemberswhomtheother
racershadallowedtorideforward.Theypedaledsidebyside,Klaus,
Vadim,JacquesandZach,eachholdinghighapersonalitemfromTony's
racingkit.AstheypassedLauraontheirwaytothefinishline,they
salutedher.

WhileRichardandBev'schildrenshoutedexuberantlytoZach,thecrowd
wentcrazyandcameraflasheswentoffbythethousands.

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Throughoutthepandemonium,however,itwasthesilveryeyesbriefly
piercingLaura'sthatstayedwithherlongafterthechampagneflowed
andFarramundidonnedtheyellowjersey.

WhensheheardKlaus'snameannouncedasthefourth-placewinner---a
featthatbroughtanotherroarfromalltheZifffans--shefelther
mother'sarmgoaroundhershoulders."Comeon,darling.Youlook
ill.Thishasbeentoomuchforyou.YourfatherandIaretakingyou
backtoourhotelandputtingyoutobed."

ToomanyemotionsandfeelingshadcaughtupwithLauraforhertoform
anargument.Shenoddeddocilely.

BevgraspedLaura'shandandsqueezedithard."Wehavetotalk
later."

Lauraknewexactlywhatshemeant.Bytacitagreementtheyhadn't
discussedZachduringtherace.Butnowthatitwasover,therewere
thingsthatneededtobesaid.

ShethrewherarmsaroundBev,attemptingtoconveyherloveand
gratitudeforallshe'ddoneforher.

SoonitwasRichard'sturn."Weloveyou,"hemurmured,envelopingher
inahug."Iloveyou,too,"shewhispered,thenliftedherheadand
lookedstraightintohiseyes."EveryoneoftheWildes."

There.Hersecretwasout.Shewasnolongerabletoholdbackthe
truth.

Richard'seyesdarkenedandheclearedhisthroat."Dousafavor,
Laura.Goliedownandtakecareofyourself.We'llseeyouatthe
churchforthememorialserviceinthemorning.Afterwardwe'lltalk,
andthat'sapromise."

"Ican'twait."Hervoiceshook.

HoldingontoRichardwaslikeholdingontoapieceofZach.Soit
waswithgreatreluctancethatshefinallylethimgo,andthenherwet
eyesfranticallysearchedthecrowd.Aswastrueofeverydayofthe
race,Zachcouldn'tbefoundoncethestagehadended.Inacitylike
Pads,hecouldhavegoneanywhere,traveleddownanystreet.Tofind
himwouldbelikelookingforagrainofsand.

"So...You'mGOINGtopulloutbeforetheservicetomorrow?"

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KlausandVadimhadjustcomeintothehotelroomwhereZachwas
packinguphisgear.He'dhopedtobegonebeforethey'dfinished
theircelebrafmg,butnosuchluck.

"That'sright.ImadeareservationtoleaveParistonight."

"What'sthehurry?"Vadimasked,hisshrewdeyesnarrowedonZach's
hardenedfeatures.

"Newhorizons.I'veseenenoughofEuropetolastmealifetime."

Vadimrubbedhislowerlipabsently."That'stoobad.Therestofus
werehopingyou'dtakeoffonasmallclimbingtripwe'veplannedinto
thePyrenees.Youknow,alittlevacationbeforeweallhavetogo
home.Thevalleysarepeaceful,thefoodexcellent,andthewomenwarm
andwilling."

Thewordsofasingleguy.

HegaveKlausandVadimaboutthreemoreyearsbeforetheyeachfell
hardforawomanandsettleddowntoraiseafamily.

Atleastthatwasthewayitwassupposedtohappen.Zachwasliving
proofthatlifedidn'talwaysfallintoplacequitethatneatlyor
easily.

AsforVadim'swords,theyhadnopowertotemptZach'sscarredsoul.

Becauseofhim,Tonyhaddiedonamountain,blooddopingorno.Since
thatday,theonlyreasonfoodmadeittohisstomachwastopreserve
hispointlesslife.TheonlywomanZachcouldimaginewantingwas
Tony'spregnantwidow,andshewasforeveroff-limits.

AftercovetingTony'swife,hehadnomoralrighttoLauraorherlove.
Andoneday,whenshehadtoexplaintoherchildwhysheorhedidn't
haveafather,Laura'sresentmentofZachandthekeyrolehe'dplayed
inTony'sdeathwouldflareupandintensify.Zachalreadyknewwhat
itwasliketotrytowinoverthechildofanotherman.Rosie'sson,
Cody,hadneveracceptedhim,andthatdivisionhadcreatedmonumental
problems.NowaycouldZachputhimselfthroughsomethinglikethat
again.Itwastimetobailout.

Ifhisplanforthefuturewassuccessful,touristswouldbecomingto
himforasailingholidayinfar-offandunusualplaces.Itsounded

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likeapalatablelife.

"Iappreciatetheinvitation,"hesaidtoVadim,"butI'mafraidI'll
havetoturnitdown."

Vadimnodded,andthenKlausmovedcloser,hiseyesfusingwithZach's.
"Thankstoyou,theteampulledthroughandIwasabletoplace.Next
year,whoknows?MaybesomeoneontheZiffsquadwilltakehomethe
yellow."

Zachnodded."I'vealreadytoldLeontogiveyoumybikeasmy
congratulatorygift."

TheGerman'sfacesuffusedwithpleasure."Iamhonored."

"TnbewatchingandrootingforyoufromwhereverIam."

"Youdon'tknowwhereyou'llbe?"Vadimshowedhissurprise.

"Notyet."

Itwasn'talieexactly.Hedidhaveadestinationinmindandwould
staythereifhelikedit.Butformasonsofhisown,hehadno
intentionoftellinganyonewherehewasgoing.

"DomeafavortomorrowandlightacandleinthechurchforTony?"

"Ofcourse,"theyrepliedinunison.

"Wait,monam.Ihaveyourpolka-dotjersey,"Va-dimsaid.

"Giveittomynephew,Richie,tomorrowaftertheservice."

"Bien."

"AnywordforLaura?"Klausasked.

Zachhadwonderedwhenhernamewouldcomeup.Heturnedawayand
liftedhisbackpack,readytogo."Tellherwe'regratefulforTony's
life.Otherwisenoneofuswouldeverhavehadtheopportunityof
knowingeachother.It'sbeenanilluminatingexperience,ja?"He
smiledatKlaus.

Theyoungermansmiledbackbeforethethreeofthemhugged.ThenZach
slippedoutthedoorandheadedforthefoyer.

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Besidesaletterhe'dwrittenforRichardandBev,hewantedtoreturn
abookshe'dlenthimtoread,alongwiththetravelmagazineshe'd
leftinhisroom.Afterleavingeverythingwiththefront-deskclerk
tobegiventotheWildesinroom703,hesteppedoutsideandhaileda
taxifortheairport.

WhenhelandedinNewYork,hewouldboardanotherplaneforMiami,
thenQuito,Ecuador,wherehewouldmeetwithRussMagneson,president
oftheWindjammerConnectionToursintheGalfipagos.Therenowned
naturalistandsailorwasaleadingexpertonthefamousarchipelago.

ForthenexttwomonthsZachhadsignedontohelpcrewtheWindjammer
lineofyachtstravelingtothemostnoteworthyoftheeightyorso
islands.Inthat

REBFCAWINTERS

amountoftimehewouldeitherhavesaturatedhiscuriosityaboutthe
areaandmovedon,orhewouldbuyasailboatwithacuddytorunhis
ownprivatetoursforawhile.

Hopefullytheexperiencewouldhelpbringonforgetfulness,that
long-sought-afterstateofmindthatwouldallowhimtosurvivethe
restofhislife.

"MONSIEURWILDE?"thefront-deskclerkcalledout."Ihavesomething
foryou.Unmoment."

Wonderingifitcouldbeafaxfromthecompanyathome,Richardwaited
somewhatimpatiently.Bevhadalreadygoneupstairswiththechildren,
whoweredesperatetousethebathroom.AsforBev,shewassobroken
upaboutZachandLaura'ssituation,Richardhadanideahewouldspend
therestofthenighttrying-toconsoleher.

Whenhesawapaperbagintheclerk'shand,heblinkedinsurpriseand
tookitfromhim.Curious,hewanderedovertoapillarandrested
againstitwhilehelookedinside.

Amagazineandabook?

Hefrownedandpulledoutbothitems.Intheprocess,aletterfellto
thefloor.HerecognizedZach'shandwritingandsuddenlyhadthe
feelinghewouldbeheoneclingingfiercelytohiswifeinthenext
littlewhile.

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Greetings,BigBrotherTherearenowordstoexpressmyfeelings
adequately.You'vealwaysbeenthere.Youwerealwaysmyrolemodel.
Youneverletmedown.Notonceinmylife.

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Richardgroaned.Thiswasthegoodbyeletter.Richardhadbeen
expectingit,butnotuntilaftertheservicetomorrow.Apparently
Zachhaddecidedtoleavethecountrytoday.Hereadon.

Everyoneshouldbeblessedtohaveabrotherlikeyou.Thenagain,no
oneshouldhavetogiveyearsandyearsofthemselvesandtheirtime
forsomeoneelse.Butthat'swhatyou'vedoneforme.

Ashekeptonreading,Richard'sheartgrewheavier.

I'mnotunawarethatmyneedshaveputablightonyourotherwise
perfectmarriage.

Butnomore,Richard.TheTourdeFranceisover.Irelinquishyouof
allfurtherresponsibilitywhereI'mconcerned.Bevneedsherhusband
back.TalkaboutthepatienceofJob,butevenBevhasherlimits!

Bevwouldbedevastatedwhenshereadthis.

Don'tgrieveforme.I'mfine.Ipromisetokeepintouchsothe
familydoesn'tworry.Justthinkofmeasyouwouldanadventurous
brotherbackinthe1700swhotookofffornewlands.

LatelyI'vedevelopedahankeringtoseetheworld.Withtheraceout
oftheway,there'snothingtostopme.

Takespecialcareofyourselfandyourpreciousfamily.Withanother
babyontheway,whydon'tyouslowdownalittleandenjoylife?No
onedeservesallthegoodthingsmorethanyou.

Iloveyou,Richard.You'llalwaysbemyidol.--Zach

MinuteslaterRichardenteredintohisfamily'shotelroom.Hecould
hearhiswifeintheadjoiningroomwiththekids.

"Bey?"

Shemusthaveknownsomethingwaswrongbythesoundofhisvoice,
becauseshehurriedintotheirroomandshutthedoor,bracingherself
againstit.Hergazedartedtothepaperbag.

"Whathaveyougotthere?"

"AbookandmagazineyoulentZach."

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Sheblinked."He'sgone,hasn'the."

Richardnoddedbeforetossingthebagonthebed."Theletter'sinside
wheneveryouwanttoreadit."

"Honey,hemayhaveleftPads,butit'snotgoingtowork.It'slike
shuttingthebarndoorafterthehorsehasgone."

"Irealizethat."

Shemovedtowardhimwithamysterioussmile."Itdoesn'tmatterthat
he'sflowntotheothersideoftheearth.He'llthinkaboutheruntil
itturnshiminsideout.Hisprotectiveinstinctswillbeworking
overtimebecauseshe'sgoingtohaveababy.He'llslowlygomad
wonderingwhat'shappenedtoher."

Richardgaveagreatsigh."Butforalltheobviousreasons,hewon't
actonhisfeelings."

"No.You'redefinitelyrightaboutthat.Butweknowsomeonewho
might,don'twe?Isupposeitalldependsonhowmuchshecares."

"She'sinlovewithhim,"Richarddeclaredwithouthesitation.

"Iknowthat,butwhatmakesyousopositive,mylove?"

"Shetoldmetoday."

"Sheactuallysaidsooutloud?"

Henodded.

"Richard?"Hereyeslitwithjoy."Ifshecouldadmitthattoyou,
thenshedoesn'thaveanyofthehang-upsZachthinksshehas!"

Hiswife'swordsignitedarayofhope,butitwasextinguishedbya
bleakthought."Honey,wehavenoideawherehe'sgone."

"That'strue.Butwe'llfindout."

Richardshookhishead."Evenifwedolocatehimandsheattemptsto
seehim,he'llfighther.Ihateto.tellyouthis,butZachmakesa
formidableadversary."

"I'venodoubt,buthaven'tyounoticedshe'safighter,too?"

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Hestaredathiswife,thennodded.

"Honey,afterTonydieditWouldhavebeensomucheasierforherto
flystraighthometoCaliforniaandnotdealwithanyofthepainor
unpleasantness.Instead,shefacedthepress,supportedtheentire
teamandkeptourchildrenbetterentertainedthaneithersetof
grandparentscouldhavedone."

Richard'smouthbrokeintoahalfsmile."You'reright.She's
definitelyZach'smatch.Funnyhowyouwouldneverguessittolookat
her."

Beydartedherhusbandawryglance."I'mnotaman,butIwould
imagineLauraDonetti'sbeautywouldkeephimtoobusytothinkabout
muchelse."

Hechuckledandreachedforher."NowhowamIsupposedtoanswer
that?"

"You'renotsupposedtoagreewithme."Butshegrinnedasshesaidit
andwasrewardedwithakiss.

Hehuggedher."WhenIwalkedinhereafewminutesago,Ifeltlike
itwastheendoftheworld.Butasusual,mywonderfulwifehasmade
thesuncomeoutagain."

"That'swhatwivesarefor.Ihavetotellyouthatyourbrotherbadly
needstobelovedbyawifelikeLauraDonetti.Forwhatit'sworth,
thelookshegavehimtodaycontainedenoughlovetofilltheuniverse.
Zachcanputupallthefenceshelikes,butLaurawillgetaround
them.Markmywords."

"I'mmarkingthem,honey.I'mmarkingthem,"hemurmuredintoher
hair.

ATQUARTERTOTENthenextmorning,Laurastoodoutsidethesmall
churchinNeuillywithherparentsandTony'srelatives.Theywere
greetingthoseattendingtheserviceamostlyTony'scyclingfriends,the
peoplewhoownedthevariousracingteamsorcoachedthemandmembers
ofthepress.InLaura'sopinionitwasagreathonorthatFarramundi,
thefive-timewinneroftheTourdeFrance,alongwithhiswife,were
kindenoughtopaytheirrespects.

Butthewholetimesheshookhandsandthankedeveryoneforthe

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outpouringofaffectionandflowers,hereyesglancedaround
desperatelyforZach.She'dravedabouthimtoherfamilyandTony's,
andcouldn'twaittointroducehimtothepeopleshelovedmost.

FinallyRichardandBevarrivedwiththeirchildren.Laurabrokefree
oftheinformallinetohurryforwardandhugthem.NowthattheTour
wasover,shethought,ofcourse,Zachwouldbewiththem.

Withoutherhavingtosayaword,Bev'sexpressiveeyesconveyedthe
badnews.Laura'sdisappointmentthathehadn'tcomewassogreatshe
feltill.Butshehadnochoicebuttocarryonasifhis'failureto
showdidn'tfazeher.

Attheendofthebriefservice,shelearnedshewasn'tgoingtosee
himatall.ForKlausandVadimtoldherthat,beforeZachhadleft
Parisyesterday,he'daskedthemtolightacandleinTony'smemory.By
thetimethey'dgivenRichieZach'spolka-dotjerseyandhadleftthe
church,thepainLaurafeltwasexcruciating.

Damnyournobility,ZacharyWilde!

Iwasafraiditwasgoingtobelikethis,herheartcriedoutin
agony.Iwasafraidyouwouldvanishthesecondyou'ddoneyourpart
forTonyandtheteam.

ButI'mnotgoingtoletyougetawaywithit.Whereveryou'verun,no
matterhowlongittakes,I'mgoingtofindyou.Iwill!

I'minlovewithyou.

Doyouhearme?I'minlovewithyou.PleaseGod,helpme."Laura?"

AtthesoundofBev'svoice,sheturnedtofindtheprettyblondeat
herelbow.Theystaredateachotherwhilestreamsofunspoken
thoughtsflowedbetweenthem.

"Ihaveanideawherehemighthavegone,butIrealizethisisn'tthe
timeortheplacetodiscussit,"shesaidinhushedtones."When
we'reallbackinCaliforniaandyou'vehadtimetoputthisbehind
you,callus.Youknowthenumber.We'llbewaiting."

AwaveofpureloveforBevsweptoverLaura.Shereachedoutonce
moretoembracethewomanwho'dbecomeherdearestfriend."You'llbe
hearingfrommesoonerthanyouthink."

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"Thatdaycan'tcomesoonenoughforus."Bev'svoiceshookwithraw
emotion."TakecaregoinghomeandGodbless."

CHAPTERNINE

"ZACH?1VIANDrIJOINYOU?"

Zachwassittinginthehotellounge.HerecognizedGwennBarker's
voicebeforeheevenlookedupfromtheitineraryhe'dbeenstudyingin
preparationfortomorrow'sneweleven-daytrip,

AmemberoftheWindjammerstaff,Gwennwasthenaturalistwho'dbeen
aboardtheFlyingCloudwithhimontheirlasttwotrips.

Besidesbeingamasterdiveinstructor,sheknewherstuffandheld
touristscaptivewithherknowledgeabouttheSantaCruzhighlandrain.
forest,thelavatubesandawealthofotherinformationconcerningthe
plantandanimallife.Hewasindebtedtoherforwhatshe'dtaught
him.

Buthehopeditwasherfascinationwithhisexpertiseasan
ocean-certifiedsailorandnothisbeingasinglemalethathad
promptedhertoseekhimoutduringtheirfreetime.

"Bemyguest,"hemurmured.Hisinvitationwasasredundantasher
inquiry,sinceshe'dalreadyseatedherself.

Insteadofthenormalshortsandshirt,she'dwornasundressto
dinner,revealingaconsiderableamountofbronzedskin.Inplaceofa
braid,herlongblondhaircascadedoveroneshoulderfromasidepart.
Shewasmostcertainlyaheadturner.

He'dlearnedenoughontwotripswithhertoknowthather
eight-year-olddaughterlivedwithherpartoftheyearintheFlorida
Keys,theotherpartwithherex-husbandinthemountainsofColorado.
Ajoint-custodysituationthathadbeenworkingforsomeyearsnow.

Zachcouldn'timagineaworsescenarioforachild,butthen,hetended
tocompareeverymarriagetoRichard's,sohekepthisthoughtsto
himself.Inanyevent,hehadnointerestinGwennbeyonda
professionalone.

"CanIbuyyouadrink?"sheasked.

Thatshouldhavebeenhisline,butallattemptsatcivilityseemedto

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havediedafterthefifthstageinVald'Isrewhenhe'dheardthenews
ofTony'sdeath.

"Ijusthaddinnerandenoughtodrinkwithit,"hereplied."ButI'll
keepyoucompanywhileyouhaveone."

"ActuallyIdon'tdrink.SinceyouandIwillbeworkingondifferent
boatsforthenexttwocruises,we'llonlybumpintoeachotheronthe
variousislands.TonightI'dliketogettoknowthemanbehindthe
facade."

Hisbrowsquirked."Youdon'tlikethemanyou

See?"

"IfIdidn't,Iwouldn'thaveinvadedyourspace,whichyouguardoh,
sojealously."

Herbluntspeakingpromptedhimtodothesame."Ihadhopedwe
wouldn'thavetohavethisconversation,Gwenn."

"Whew.Youdon'tmincewords,doyou?"

"No.Ican'taffordto,andyou'retooterrificapersonformeto
hurt,intentionallyorotherwise."

"Idon'twanttorehashourlives,Zach.Icertainlydon'twantto
talkaboutmine.I'mlonelytonightandsenseyoucouldusesome
company,too.

Can'tweatleastspendittogether?Nowords.Noexpectationsor
morningafters."

Zachshudderedinwardlyatthedepthofherloneliness."Howlonghave
youbeendivorced?"

"Threeyears,andbelieveitornot,you'rethefirstmanI've
approachedsincemyhusbandandIsplitup.Doyouhaveanyideahow
muchcourageittookmetowalkovertothistable,fearingwemight
havethisexactconversation?"

Herhonestyremindedhimofsomeoneelse's.JustthethoughtofLaura
Donettirippedhimapartalloveragain.Sixweeksagohe'dridden
pastheronhisbike,soughtandfoundherbeautifulbrowneyesforthe
lasttime.Theystillhauntedhim.

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Hepushedhimselfawayfromthetableandstoodup,startlingGwenn.

"You'remuchtooremarkableawomantouseforanight'scomfort."

Shegottoherfeet,also."You'retooremarkableamantohideaway
fromlifemuchlonger."

"Isn'tthatwhatyou'redoing?"hedemandedquietly.

"No.MyparentswerenaturalistsfromtheKeyswhoraisedmeinthese
waters.ThemanImarriedthoughthewantedthislife,buthefound
outhedidn't.I'mlivingtheonlylifeIknowhowtolive.You're
noL"

Hefrowned."Whatmakesyousaythat?I'vebeenawaterbabyfromday
one."

"You'realotmorethanthat.I'vereadarticlesaboutyouinsports
magazines.Cyclingandsailingareonlyacoupleofyourpassions.You
havestrongfamilytiesinCaliforniaandalucrativeoutdoor-sign
businessspanningthreestates.

"You'vebeenonthevergeofmarriagetwice,butneitherrelationship
workedout.TragedyfollowedyoutoFrancewhereyourteammate,Tony
Donetti,diedofaheartattackduringtherace.Ihappentoknowthat
ZacharyWilde,themanwhowascrownedKingoftheMountain,hashung
uphisjerseyandquittheracingworldtocrewintheGahipagos,butI
stillsayyou'resailinginwaterswayoutofyourelement."

Zachblinkedinamazementthatshe'dbeencuriousenoughtodoher
homeworkonhim.Hedidn'tseeitasaninvasionofprivacy.Gwenn
wasagoodwomanandhonestlyinterestedinhim.Hecouldn'tblameher
forthat.

Hermouthcurvedinacompassionatesmile."IhadhopedyouandI
mightbeabletoforgetourpainforalittlewhile.Oddlyenough,I
dobelieveyoursisevengreaterthanmine.Butifyoushouldchange
yourmindandcravealittlecompanionshipwithawomanwho'svery
interestedinyou,rememberI'malwayshereandwe'llbecrossingeach
other'spathsforthenextthreeweeks.Thinkaboutit."

Zachknewhimselftoowell."I'vealreadythoughtaboutit,Gwenn,and
theanswerisno."

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"Don'thesohasty,"shewarnedhim."ForthepastthreeyearsI've
toldeverymanwhoapproachedmethatIwasn'tinterested.ThenImet
you."

Sheturnedandleftthediningroom,butherwordsremained.Hefelt
asifsomeonehadjustwalkedoverhisgrave.AfterRosie,he'dbeen
justasconvincedthatnowomancouldtouchhislifeagain.

Then,bysomeincredibletwistoffate,LauraDonettihadhappenedto
him.

She'sstillhappeningtoyou,Wilde.Everydamnnightwhenyou're
forcedtobealonewithyourthoughts.

Youcan'tforgetthebrushofherhipagainstyoursasyouwalkedout
ofthehospitaltogetherbreathingtheintoxicatingscentsofthe
night.

Youcanstillfeelthetouchofherlipsagainstyourcheekather
hotel-roomdoor.

Everynightyougoinsidethatroomwithherandshutouttheworld.
Butthedreamsaren'tenoughanymore.

DamnGwennBarkerforremindingyouthatyou'rehuman,thatyouhave
needsthatareeatingyoualive."LAURA?ITHOUGHTyOUwouldnever
gethere!"

Laurahadbarelygottenoutofthecarshe'ddrivendownfromHollywood
toNewportBeachbeforeBevwashuggingherlikelong-lostfamily.

ItwashowLaurafelt,too,andshereturnedBev'shugfiercely.They
clungtoeachotherforlongmoments,bothassailedbybittersweet
memories.

Andintheclingingtheycouldfeelhowmuchthickertheywerefrom
theirpregnancies.Theyeventuallybrokeapartwithgigglesthatended
inhystericallaughter.

WhenitfinallysubsidedLaurawipedhereyesandexclaimed,"Youlook
wonderful!"

"Sodoyou,"Beysaid,hercheeksglisteningwithmoisture."WhenI
toldRichardyou'dcalledandwerecomingdown,hegaveawhoopofjoy
andsaidhewastakingoffwork.Iexpecthimatanymoment.Thekids

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won'tbehomeforacoupleofhours.Whentheyfindoutyou'rehere,
they'llgoberserk!"

"I'vemissedyouallsomuch."

"Youdon'tknowthemeaningoftheword,"cameBev'semotional
response.ShelinkedherarmwithLaura'sandtheystartedwalking
towardthelargehacienda-typehousewithitswrought-ironbalconies
andmassesoffloweringshrubs.

"Yourhomeisgorgeous."

"Thankyou,weloveit.Oh,Laura,"Beysaid."I'vebeenprayingyou
wouldcall!SomanytimesIpickedupthephonetotalktoyou,but
thenIthoughtI'dbetternotbecauseyouneededyourspace."

Lauragroaned."EverydayI'vewantedtophoneyou,too.ButI've
beeninalotofpainsincethefuneral.Evenwithallthedetailsto
attendto,Ifindmyselfrememberingthings.I'vebeenconcentrating
onthegoodtimeswithTony.I--Ididlovehimonce,andthoughIdid
mostofmygrievinglongbeforehedied,

IfoundtherewerestillthingsIhadtoletgo."

"Yes,Icanimagine."

"BeingwithTony'sauntandunclehashelped.GeorgeandAnndidn't
believehediedofaheartattack.There'dbeentoomanyrumorsabout
drugs,soIendeduptellingthemthetruth.Ithurtthemterribly.
That'swhenIsuggestedwecouldallbenefitfromprofessional
counseling,sothethreeofuswent."

"Goodforyou.Sohasitmadeadifference?"Bevaskedasthey
enteredthehouse,whichwasdoneinabreathtakingSpanishmotif.

"Yes.I'dalreadydecidedinthehospitalroomatVald'IsrethatI
wasn'tgoingtoletTony'sdeathmakemetakeonanymoreguilt.But
that'seasiersaidthandone.Wetalkedalotaboutguiltinour
therapysessions.Itbecameclearthatallofusshouldhavebeen
gettingcounselingforyearswhereTony'sconcerned.We'vebeen
walkingvictims."

"Andnow?"Bevmethergaze.Laurahadtheimpressionshewasholding
herbreath.

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NowIneedZachMylifewillneverbecompletewithouthimHe
understandsme.HeunderstandsaboutTony.Ilovehim.

"Well,nowthatI'mfourmonthsalongandhavebeengivenacleanbill
ofhealthfrommyobstetrician,I'mreadytogetonwithmylife."

"A-areyougoingbacktouniversity?"Bevstammered.

Laura'sheartwaspounding."Yes.Butthere'ssomethingIhavetodo
first."Sheswallowedhard."Youknowwhatitis."

"ThankHeaven!"Bevthrewherarmsaroundheragain.

AfteramomentLaurasteppedaway."Haveyouheardfromhim,Bev?"

"OnlythroughMomandDadWilde.ApparentlyZachhaswrittenthem
severaltimes,butacourieralwaysbringsthelettertotheirdoor
withnoreturnaddressorclueastowherehemightbe."

Atthatcrushingnews,Laurafelttheblooddrainfromherface.Bev
tookonelookandmadehersitdownonthecouch,thensatbeside
her.

"Laura,ItoldyouinParisthatIhadanideawhereheis.Istill
thinkhe'sthere.Richardhappenstoagreewithme."

"Where?"

"TheGal/ipagosIslands.SouthAmerica."

Lauragasped."Really?"

"It'sjustahunch,butbeforeZachcheckedoutofourPadshotel,he
askedthefrontdesktoreturnthistome,alongwithabookI'dlent
him."Bevreachedforatravelmagazinelyingonthecoffeetableand
putitintoLaura'stremblinghands.

"Ifyou'lllookcarefullyatthearticleontheGallpagos,you'llsee
there'satinycheckmarkmadeinpencilnexttotheislandofSanta
Fe."

Laurahuntedforthepage,sawthemark,thenlookedup."Butwhat
doesitmean?"

"Ididn'tputthatcheckmarkthere,Laura.Nordidanyoneelse,

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becauseI'djustboughtitoffthestandinSt.Legerforsomethingto
read.WhenIfinishedit,I

leftitinZach'sroom,incasehewasinterested.""Y-youthink
becauseofthat.?"

"That,andthefactthatsailing,notcycling,isZach'spassion.
Accordingtothearticle,theGalpa-gosIslandsoffersomeofthe
greatestsailingintheworld.Youdidn'tknowhimlongenoughto
learnthatheandRichardarebothcertifiedtooperateanyocean-going
boatsupto125feetinlength.They'rebothcertifiedscubadivers,
andwhiletheywereinhighschoolandcollege,theyworkedpart-time
forthecompany,andtherestofthetimeasbeachlifeguards."

Shepaused,thensmiledasshewenton,"Infact,ImetRichardand
ZachwhenmygirlfriendandIgotcaughtintheundertowatthebeach
andtheysavedusfromdrowning."

"You'rekidding!";

"Nope.RichardgavemeCPR.WhenIcouldfinallytalk,Iaskedhimif
hewasmyguardianangel."

Atthosewords,chillsshotthroughLaura'sbody,makingthehairstand
uponthebackofherneck."LauraDonetti!Isitreallyyou?"

AtthesoundofRichard'svoice,bothwomenturnedaround.Inthenext
instanthe'dpulledLauraupandintohisarms.

Atlasthereleasedherandsaid,"I'mnotgoingtoaskyouwhyyou
tooksolongtogethere.AllIcansayis,you'vecomeandBevandI
areveryhappy."Hecasthiswifealovingglance."Nowtheonly
importantquestionis,howsoonareyougoingtogofindmybrotherand
bringhimbackhome?"

Thiswasatimeforhonesty.Sheloweredherselfagaintothecouch.
"Iwon'tstopuntilIfindhim,Richard,butIcan'tpromisetobring
himhome.Not...notifhedoesn'twanttocome."

Richard'sjawhardened,exactlylikeZach's.Anotherheart-wrenching
memory."You'retheonlyonewhocanworkthemiracle."

Shebitherlip."We'regoingtoneedone.Zachhaslosttwogreat
loves.He'snotabouttobecomevulnerableagainwithathird.Ontop
ofthat,hebelieveshimselfresponsibleforTony'sdeath.Hisguilt

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runsverydeep.I'velearnedalotaboutguiltincounseling.It's
oneofthemostdifficultemotionstoeradicatefromthesoul."

Richard'shandtightenedonhershoulder."Butyou'regoingtotry."

Laurasuckedinabreath."Ihavenochoice.I'mdesperatelyinlove
withyourbrother."

"ThankGod."

Hepacedthefloorforaminute,thencametoastopandsaid,"I
presumeBevhastoldyouwherewethinkheis."

"Yes.Ialreadyhaveaplan."

"Youdo?"Bevsaid.

"Yes.KnowingZach,he'sprobablywarnedthelocalsnottotellanyone
he'sthere.IfIaskedquestionsabouthimaheadoftime,someone
wouldprobablytiphimoffandImightneverbeabletofindhim."

"You'reprobablyrightaboutthat,"Richardmuttered.

"So,IthinkI'llsignupforoneofthosetripsandgofromthere."

"Mythoughtsexactly,"BeysaidasshehandedLauraatravelbrochure
fromthecoffeetable."Therearealottochoosefrom,butonpage
fivethere'saneleven-daytripthatlistsSantaFeonthe
itinerary."

Lauraspottedit."I'llstartwiththatone.Butthenextsailingis
justtendaysfromnow.IdoubtIcouldgetareservationintime."

"We'vealreadymadeitforyou,"Bevadmittedsomewhatsheepishly.

ButRichard'ssmilerevealednoqualmsasheadded,"Justincase."

"Don'tIneedimmunizationstotravelthere?"Bevshookherhead."We
checkedandfoundouttheydon'trequireanyshotsunlessyou'retaking
asidetripintotheAmazon,whichyouwon'tbe."

"Whatnamedidyouuse?"

Richard'seyestwinkled."Wedebatedonthatonebeforecomingupwith
Mr.andMrs.JohnWallace.Thatwayyouwouldbeensuredadouble

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cabintoyourself...justincase."

around.Inthenextinstanthe'dpulledLauraupandintohisarms.

Atlasthereleasedherandsaid,"I'mnotgoingtoaskyouwhyyou
tooksolongtogethere.AllIcansayis,you'vecomeandBevandI
areveryhappy."Hecasthiswifealovingglance."Nowtheonly
importantquestionis,howsoonareyougoingtogofindmybrotherand
bringhimbackhome?"

Thiswasatimeforhonesty.Sheloweredherselfagaintothecouch.
"Iwon'tstopuntilIfindhim,Richard,butIcan'tpromisetobring
himhome.Not...notifhedoesn'twanttocome."

Richard'sjawhardened,exactlylikeZach's.Anotherheart-wrenching
memory."You'retheonlyonewhocanworkthemiracle,"

Shebitherlip."We'regoingtoneedone.Zachhaslosttwogreat
loves.He'snotabouttobecomevulnerableagainwithathird.Ontop
ofthat,hebelieveshimselfresponsibleforTony'sdeath.Hisguilt
runsverydeep.I'velearnedalotaboutguiltincounseling.It's
oneofthemostdifficultemotionstoeradicatefromthesoul."

Richard'shandtightenedonhershoulder."Butyou'regoingtotry."

Laurasuckedinabreath."Ihavenochoice.I'mdesperatelyinlove
withyourbrother."

"ThankGod."

Hepacedthefloorforaminute,thencametoastopandsaid,"I
presumeBevhastoldyouwherewethinkheis."

"Yes.Ialreadyhaveaplan."

"Youdo?"Bevsaid.

"Yes.KnowingZach,he'sprobablywarnedthelocalsnottotellanyone
he'sthere.IfIaskedquestionsabouthimaheadoftime,someone
wouldprobablytiphimoffandImightneverbeabletofindhim."

"You'reprobablyrightaboutthat,"Richardmuttered.

"So,IthinkI'llsignupforoneofthosetripsandgofromthere."

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"Mythoughtsexactly,"BevsaidasshehandedLauraatravelbrochure
fromthecoffeetable."Therearealottochoosefrom,butonpage
fivethere'saneleven-daytripthatlistsSantaFeonthe
itinerary."

Lauraspottedit."I'llstartwiththatone.Butthenextsailingis
justtendaysfromnow.IdoubtIcouldgetareservationintime."

"We'vealreadymadeitforyou,"Bevadmittedsomewhatsheepishly.

ButRichard'ssmilerevealednoqualmsasheadded,"Justincase."

"Don'tIneedimmunizationstotravelthere?"Bevshookherhead."We
checkedandfoundouttheydon'trequireanyshotsunlessyou'retaking
asidetripintotheAmazon,whichyouwon'tbe."

"Whatnamedidyouuse?"

Richard'seyestwinkled."Wedebatedonthatonebeforecomingupwith
Mr.andMrs.JohnWallace.Thatwayyouwouldbeensuredadouble
cabintoyourself...justincase."

Justincase,Laurathought,Zachwascrewingthetrip.Herheart
turnedover.

"AssoonasBevphonedmealittlewhileago,"Richardsaid,"Idropped
bythetravelagencyandtoldthemtoputthechargeonmycreditcard.
Hereareallyourtraveldocuments."Hehandedherapacket."Your
flightforQuitohasalreadybeenbookedunderyourownname,because,
ofcourse,you'llhavetoshowyourpassport."

LaurastoodinaweoftheirdeterminationtofindZach."Itwasjust
asgreat,ifnotgreater,thanhers."Youtwoareincredible."

"Wefeelthesamewayaboutyou,"Richardsaid,smiling.

"Well"--Laurastillfeltalittledazedbyevents"--sinceyou've
preparedmypathbeforeme,itlooksliketheonlythinglefttodois
someshopping."

"Howaboutrightnow?"Bevsuggested."We'llgotolunchandthenI
wanttotakeyoutothisdarlingboutiquealongthewaterfront.They
haveamaternitysectionwiththemostadorablemother-and-infant
matchingsailoroutfitsyou'veeverseen."

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Fearwarredwithexcitement,makingitdifficultforLauratobreathe.
"IfIdocatchupwithhim,he'llseethispregnantladyanddive
overboard."

Richard'sexpressionsobered."Youdon'tknowwhatyou'retalking
about.IsawthewayhelookedatyouinParis.Itcouldhavesetoff
athree-alarmfire."

Awarmflushstoleoverhercheeks."He'sjustgottobethere,
Richard."

"Thismaybealongshot,butmywife'sinstinctsareneverwrong.In
mygut,Iknowhe'sthere."

Onasurfeitofemotion,shereachedouttohugthemagain."ThenI'll
findhim."

ThreeDAYS.A'rERonagoldenMondaymorning,Lauraandtheeight
otherpeopleintheirparty--fourofwhomweremembersofthesame
familyfromMichigan-steppedofftheplaneatBaltraIsland.
Immediatelytheyboardedabusthatdrovethemtoadockonan
azure-bluebay.

Thetwooldercouples,theDevrysandtheOlsons,wereclosefriends
andhadkeptprettymuchtothemselvesduringtheprecedingpartofthe
trip---astayinQuitoandacitytour.ButtoLaura'schagrin,the
Fisherclan,comprisingtheparents,DonandSylvia,andtheirtwo
sons,BradandPete--bothintheirearlytwentiesmhadbeenunableto
getoverherresemblancetoMargoofTV-soap-operafame.

LaurahadlaughedattheircommentandansweredthatDonremindedher
ofBobStack,thehostoftheTVshow"UnsolvedMysteries"

Thatobservationhaddistractedthemenoughtofinallyleavethe
subjectofherlookinglikeMargoalone.Unfortunatelythetwosons,
bothonbreakfromtheUniversityofMichigan,seemeddelightedthat
theyoungwidowwastravelingwiththem.

TheirunsolicitedattentionwassomethingLaurahadn'tplannedon.So
exceptformeals,she'dchosennottojointhemonthecitytourand
optedtostayinherhotelroominQuitountilitwastimetoflyto
theGalfipagos.

BothBradandPeteattachedthemselvestohernowastheyallmade
theirwaydowntothepier.Adark-bearded,middle-agedmanstepped

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forwardandextendedafriendlyhandtoeachofthem.Hecommented
thatthebirdstheysawdivingtowardthewaterlikeshootingarrows
fromdizzyingheightswerecalledblue-footedboobies.Itbroughta
smiletoherlips.

Unlikeher,theirgreeterdidn'twearsunglasses,andhisskinwas
burnishedthecolorofteak.Shenotedtheadmirationonhisfaceas
hisdeep-setblueeyesscannedherfaceandfigure.

Hernewlypurchasedwhitematernitypantswithasleeveless
loose-fittingblue-and-whitesailortop,whichhidhercondition,felt
comfortableinthemid-seventiestemperature.Butbecauseofthe
HumboldtCurrent,she'dheardthatthenightsgotcool,evencold,so
she'dpackedasweaterandwindbreaker.

Thosewithadiscerningeyemightsuspectshewaspregnant,but
accordingtoBev,itwouldbeatleastcoupleofmoremonthsbefore
Laurablossomedfortheworldtosee.

ShedebatedtellingtheFishersonsthatshepregnant.Thenewswould
definitelykilltheirinteresLButshealsofeltitwouldbebetterif
nooneonboardknewshewasexpectingababy.Asidefromthefactit
wasn'tanyoneelse'sbusiness,shedidn'twantanysortofpreferential
treatment.

"WelcomeaboardthePuffCloud.I'mtheskipperandmyname's
NathanielSimonds.IanswertoNate."

Heseemedtobeaddressingonlyher,andsoshemurmured,"Nateitis.
I'mJeanWallace."

"DoyoumindifIcallyouJean?We'reprettyinformalaround
here."

"Notatall"

LaurahadbeenchristenedLauraJeanDelaneyafterthefirstnamesof
bothgrandmothers,sothemiddlenamewasn'tentirelyforeigntoher.

"Good.CorrectmeifI'mwrong,butIthoughttherewasaMr.Wallace
comingaboard,aswell."

OntheflightfromMiamitoQuito,Laurahadmadethedecisionthat
untilshefoundZach,shewouldtellasmuchofthetruthaspossible
withoutdivulgingherlastname.Zachcouldbecrewingaboardthe

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beautifulsixty-six-footyachtthatNatewasskipperingandthatwould
betakinghertothevariousislands,butsofarshehadn'tseenany
signofthecrew.

Ifitwasatallpossible,shewantedtheelementofsurprisetobeon
hersidewhenshefirstsawhimagain.Ifshesawhimagain,herheart
cried.

Thereweremanydifferenttourcompaniesthatrantripsinthe
Galfipagos,butbecauseofthetravelmagazine'sarticleonthemanwho
headedtheWindjammerToursandhisimpressivesailingcredentials,Bey
andRichardhadactedonthehunchthatZachmightbeworkingforthis
particulartourgroup.

"Recentlymyhusbandpassedaway,andIdecidedIneededavacation.
SinceIdidn'twanttoshareacabinwithanyone,Ibookedthetrip
underbothournamesandpaidthedoublefare.Ihopethat'sall
right."

"Ifit'sallrightwithyou,ofcourseit'sallrightwithus.There's
nobetterplacetorelaxandenjoynature.Hopefullythistripwill
bringyoupeaceofmindandhelpyoutogetonwiththerestofyour
life."

"That'sexactlywhyI'vecome.Thankyou."Shesmiledinrelief
becausehehadn'trecognizedherfromTV.Furthermore,heacceptedher
explanationwithoutquestionanddidn'tpry.

"IfirstheardabouttheGalpagosIslandswhenIwasaschoolgirl.I
thinkitwasinscienceclassandtheteacherwasdiscussingDarwin's
theoriesonevolution.Theslidesonthoseenormousturtlesandsea
lionshadmecompletelyfascinated."

Henodded."Ihadasimilarexperienceinmyyouth.Icanpromiseyou
we'regoingtoseethosesightsandalotmorebeforethistripis
over.We'realsoextremelyluckytohaveGwennBarkeralongasour
naturalist.

"She'slivedalotofherlifeouthere---initiallywithherparents,
butthey'reretirednow.Youcouldn'thaveabetterguidetointroduce
youtothiswildlifetuary.Noone'smorequalified."

"I'mlookingforwardtomeetingher."

"She'llbeaboardshortly,alongwithourcrewofthree.Inthe

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meantime,yourcabinisthefirstyourrightwhenyouboardthePuff
Cloud."Justthementionofthecrewsentashiverofnervous
excitementthroughher.

"We'reallonhandtokeepyousafeandcomfortable,"hecontinued,
oblivioustothechaosofheremotions."Callonusatanytimeifwe
canbeofassistance."

"Thankyou,"shesaid.

"Inhalfanhour,we'llaskeveryonetoassembleinthediningareato
meetGwenn.Rightnow,gotoyourcabinandsettlein.Thecrewwill
followwithyourbags.You'llseewe'veleftyousomeliteratureto
read,andyou'vebeensuppliedaselectionofsoftdrinksandbeer,so
helpyourself."

Needingnoencouragement,sheboardedtheyachtandfoundherway
below.Pete,theelderoftheFishersons,hoveredexpectantlyinthe
corridorwatchingher,obviouslyhavingalreadycheckedouthis
cabin.

Laurapretendednottonoticeassheenteredherroomandshutthe
door.Shehadnointentionofmakinganappearanceuntileveryonehad
beencalledtogether.TheonlythingonhermindwasZach.Whileshe
unpacked,shetriedtoimaginewhatwouldhappenifhewasassignedto
thePuffClou&

Shehidherfaceinherhands.Ithadbeenalmosttwomonthssince
she'dseenhim.Toomanylongemptyagonizingdaysandnights.

Haveyouthoughtaboutmeatall,Zach?

If,orwhen,youdiscoverI'mamemberofthetour,willyouignoreme
infrontoftheothersandwaituntilnooneelseisaroundbeforeyou
confrontme?Willyoubeangry?

"Therewasaworsethought.Maybehewouldn'tseekheroutatall.

Thatpossibilitystruckfearinherheart.

KnowingZach,hemightsimplyacknowledgeherwithanod,ashewould
anypastacquaintance,and'thengoonabouthisbusiness,nevergiving
heranopening.

Ifthathappened,Laurawasdeterminedtogoafterhimandforcehimto

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listenwhileshepouredoutherheart.Whathedecidedtodowiththat
knowledgewasanyone'sguess,butitwasn'tinhernaturetoplay
games.

Ashudderpassedthroughher.Whatifhecouldn'treturnherlove?

Traumatizedbyherthoughts,shestillhadn'tputherthingsawaywhen
Nateannouncedovertheintercomthateveryonewastoproceedtothe
diningareaattheotherendoftheyacht.

Withalternatingfeelingsofexcitementandtrepidation,Lauraleftthe
cabinstillwearingsunglassesforcamouflage,hergazedarting
everywhereforsignsofZach.

Thesecondsheenteredthecommonroom,shecaughtsightofthethree
othercrewmenandherheartplummeted.

Zachwasn'tamongthem.

Afterthecaptainhadmadetheintroductions,sherealizedshewould
havetoputhersecondplanintoaction--makefriendswiththecrew
and,withoutarousingsuspicion,findoutifZachwasanemployeeof
WindjammerTours.AsRichardhadsaid,thiswasalongshot,butnow
thatshewashere,shewasn'tabouttogiveupuntilshewasconvinced
Zachhadn'tcometotheGalfipagosatall.

Disappointedbeyondbelief,LauraonlynoticedGwennBarkeraftershe
felttheotherwoman'slongprobinggaze.DidsherecognizeLaurafrom
herroleonTV?

SomehowLauradoubtedit.Thenaturalistspentmostofherlifehere,
awayfromtheso-calledamenitiesofcivilization.

NotuntilNate-calledupontheathletic-lookingblondetogivea
preliminarysketchoftheiritinerarydidthosepenetrating
yellow-greencat'seyesfinallyshiftfromLauratotherestofthe
group.

Sheimaginedthatmostmenfoundtheirnaturalist,whowasprobablyin
hermidthirties,ratherattractive.

ItwasmorethanpossiblethatZachknewher.Doeshefindher
appealing?

Torturedbythethought,Lauracouldhardlyconcentrateonthewoman's

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talk.Shereturnedtohercabinassoonasthesessionbrokeupandit
wasannouncedtheyweresettingsail.

PetefollowedLauradownthecorridorandaskedhertojoinhimfora
drinkinthecabinhesharedwithhisbrother.Decidingshe'dbetter
settheperimetersrightnow,shekindlybutfirmlyrefusedhim,hoping
he'dgetthepoint:

Onceshe'dshutthedoor,sheopenedherbagsandputherthingsaway
inthedrawersandCloset.Asshewasplacinghertoilettiesinthe
bathroom,sheheardaknockonthedoor.

AfraiditwasPete,shedecidednottoanswerit."Mrs.Wallace?"a
femalevoicecalled.

ItsoundedlikeGwennBarker.Forsomeunknownreason,thehairs
prickledonthebackofLaura'sneckassheopenedthedoor.

"Hi,"Gwennsaid."Mindifwetalkforaminute?"

AfteraslighthesitationLaurashookherheadandtoldhertocome
in.

"I'llgetstraighttothepoint,"Owensaidassoonasthedoor
closed."Partofmyjobasyourguideistoknowthepassengerson
boardandadaptthetourtotheirindividualncds."

LauradecidedthatGwenn'swomanlyintuitionhaddevinedLaura's
pregnancy,andsosheneededtoascertainherstateofhealthbefore
thetourgotunderway.

Lauraspokeup."Iknowwhatyou'regoingtosay.It'strueI'm
pregnant,butmydoctortoldmeIwasinperfecthealthandhe
enCOuragedmetoenjoythistrip.Iwentovertheitinerarywithhim,
andhesaidtheexercisewoulddomegood.Ihopethatreassures
you."

Gwenneyedherwithapuzzledfrown."That'snotwhyI'mhere.We've
hadpregnantwomenonboardbefore.ImyselffoundoutIwasgoingto
haveababyduringatripaboutnineyearsago.Aslongasyourdoctor
hasgivenyoutheokay,that'sfinewithus."

"I'mrelieved.I-isthereanotherproblem,then?""Onlytome."

"Idon'tunderstand."

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"Ihavetoworkwiththeauthoritieswhenwe'reresponsiblefor
touristsenteringEcuadororPeruforoneofourtours.Theysendmea
listofpassengers'

names,incasethere'sanemergencyofsomekind."Lauraknewwhat
wascomingandbracedherself."WindjammerTourshasyoudownonour
listasMrs.JeanWallace.Butaccordingtothenameonyour
passport,you'reMrs.LauraDonetti.Irecognizedthename
immediately.Mymotherisahugefanofyoursoapopera."

"Isee."

"Itisn'taproblem,Mrs.Donetti.IfIwasacelebrity,I'dtravel
underanassumednameanddoeverythinginmypowertokeepattention
awayfromme,too.Iwon'tsayawordofthistoanyone,noteventhe
captain.Forthistrip,you'llheMrs.JeanWallace.

"Offtherecord,mayIoffermycondolencesoveryourrecentloss.I
readaboutyourhusband'saccidentinamagazine.I'mverysorry."

Lauraexpelledthebreathshewasholding."Thankyou.Itwasawful.
Iwon'tpretendaboutthat,buttheworstisover,andI'mlooking
forwardtothiscruise."

"Ilostmyhusbandthroughadivorce.Thepainisnotdissimilar,but
Icantellyouthatyourchildwillbringyouincrediblejoy.Ithink
you'reverywisetogiveupyourcareertobeafull-timemother.IfI
didn'thavetoearnaliving,I'dstayhome,too."

"Thinkingofmybabyhasbeenmyoneabidingcomforts"Lauraconfessed,
warmingtotheotherwoman."Thankyouforallowingmemyprivacy."

"You'rewelcome.Anytimeyouwantsomefemaleconversation,don't
hesitatetoseekmeout."

"Iwon't.Thanksagain."

AfterGwennlefttheroom,Lauragaveintoherpainandflungherself
acrossthebed,convulsedwithsobs.SinceGwenhadreadabout
everythingthathadhappenedduringtheTourdeFranceinamagazine,
thenshewouldhaveseenZachinthepictures.ThefactthatGwenn
didn'tsayawordabouthimordisplayanysignofrecognitionmeanthe
didn'tworkforWindjammerTours.

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RichardandBevhadbeensocertain!

Butmaybehe'dhiredonwithanothercompanyintheGalpagos.

Laurasuddenlysatupandwipedhereyes,determinedtogettoknow
theirnaturalistagreatdealbetter.Bythetimethistripwasover,
shewouldprevailonGwenntohelpherfindZach.

Ifhe'sheretobefound.

CHAPTERTEN

"HI,SAILOR.Apennyforyourthoughts."

AtthesoundofGwenn'svoice,Zachturnedhisheadinherdirection,
hopingshe'dhappeneduponhimbyaccident,notbydesign.Becauseof
thebrightmorningsunhehadtosquinttoseeher.

Twoseaturtleswerematingontheshore,asighttouristspaid
thousandsofdollarsfortheprivilegeofviewing.Onceuponatime,
thescenewouldhaveintriguedhim.Butcomingtoworkinthe
Gahipagoshadonlyunderlinedanacutesenseoflonelinessbroughton
byhisself-imposedexile.

Ifanything,hisstateofmindwasworsethanwhenhe'dleftParis.
Afterthetripendedtomorrowhehadtendays'freetimecomingtohim
andhe'ddecidedtoflytoQuito.

AsidefromtheGahipagos,hehadn'tspentanytimeinEcuador.Maybe
Whenhereachedthemountains,hecouldfindthatjoiedevivrehe'd
unexpectedlyfeltduringthefirstfewdaysoftheTourdeFrance.

Behonest,Wilde.Themagicstartedwhenyouopenedyourhotel-room
dooranddiscoveredLauraDonettistandingthere.

"Hello,Gwenn.Ididn'trealizethePuffCloudstoppedonBartolome
Islandthistrip."

Shehunkereddownnexttohim."That'sthedifferencebetweenthetwo
ofus.IknewtheRacingCloud'sitinerarybyheartandfiguredthe
yachtyou'recrewingforhadpulledintotheotherdisembarkationpoint
bynow.Myfemaleintuitiontoldmethatwhenyouwentonbreak,I'd
findyouonthisforgottenstretchofbeach,insteadofkeepingwatch
overthepeopleswimmingamongthepenguins."

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Hismoodblack,Zachgottohisfeet.HeandGwennwerecolleaguesof
asort,buthe'dwalkedthroughthemangrovestothispartofthe
islandtobealone.Itwouldbebettertoputsomedistancebetween
thembeforehehurtheranymorebecauseofhisinabilitytorespond.

Sheshieldedhereyesfromthesuntolookupathim."Beforeyoutake
off,couldIaskyouaquestion?"

"Youalreadyknowtheanswer,Gwenn."

"IthinkmaybeIdo,butI'mgoingtoaskit,anyway.Howwell
acquaintedwereyouwithTonyDonetti'swife?"

ThementionofLaura---particularlywhenshewasneveroutofhis
thoughtsresetZach'sheartthudding.Hepausedmidstrideandjerked
around,stunnedbythequestion.

Hershrewdregardmissedlittle."Well,now,IguessIhavemy
answer."

Hewatchedhergetup,wipingthegrainsofsandfromhershorts.
ThoughGwenncouldn'thelpreadingwhatwasprintedinthetabloids,he
feltirrationalangeratthemediawho'dturnedthetragedyofTony's
deathanditsaftermathintothebiggestmoneymakeroftheTourde
France.Hewaspaicularlyangryatherforbelievingtheliesand
succumbingtothesensationalism.

"Youdisappointme,Gwenn,"hesaidinawitheringtone."Ithought
scientistslikeyoualwaysstrivetogetatthetruth."

"That'sright."Shestoodherground."Thescientificmethodof
discoverymaybebasic,butitgetsthejobdone.Factnumber
one--TonyDonettidiedduringtherace.

"Factnumbertwo--youwereateammateofhis.

"Factnumberthree--youwerehisroommatethroughoutthetraining
periodpriortotherace.

"Factnumberfour--thepresstookpicturesofyouwithyourarmaround
Mrs.Donetfithenightherhusbanddied.

"Factnumberfiveyoudisappearedrightafterthefinishoftheracein
Pads.

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"Factnumbersixrenoonehasseenyousince,notevenyourfamily.

"FactnumbersevenoutoftheblueyoushowedupintheGalipagos,
askingtocrewforWindjammerTours.

"Factnumbereight--you'resingleandattractive,andIknowinmygut
you'renotintoanalternativelife-style.

"Factnumbernine--you'vespurnedme,theonlyeligiblewomanworking
forthesamecompanyasyourself.

"Nowthere'sfactnumberten..."

White-lipped,hemuttered,"Andthat's?"

Sheshookherhead."I'llletyoufigureitoutfor'yourself."

"Whatinhellareyoutalkingabout?"

"Who,"shecorrectedhim."EverheardofMrs.JohnWallace?"

Zachcouldn'timaginewhatGwennwasgettingat."Idon'tknowanyone
bythatname."

Gwennstaredhardathim."Oddly'enough,Ibelieveyou.Seeyou
around,sailor."

"Oh,no,youdon't!"Inalightningmove,Zachgraspedherarmto
preventherfromleaving."Youhadadefinitereasonformentioning
thatwoman'snametome.Iwanttoknowwhatitis."

"Justtestingoneofmytheories.I'vecomeupwithapartial
answer."

"Thenletmeinonit."

"Sorry."Shelookedpointedlyatthehandstillholdingherwrist.

Onlynowdidherealizehowoutofcontrolhewas.He'dneverused
forceonawomaninhislife.Asifherarmwereaburningcoal,he
letgoofit."Forgiveme,Gwenn,"hesaid."Ididn'tmeantocomeon
sostrong."

"Iknowthat.ObviouslyI'vehitanervethatrunsdeep.Ihavemy
ownapologizingtodofordrivingyousohard.Trustme,I'llbe

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leavingyoualonefromhereonout.You'reobviouslyonsomekindof
pilgrimagetoforgetfulnessanddon'twanttobefound,letalone
hassled.So,thenexttimeweseeeachother,I'lljustwaveandkeep
onwalking."

Hesuckedinabreath."I'vebehavedbadly."

"Noneofusisatourbestwhenwe'reinthekindofpainyou'rein,"
shesaidbeforewalkingoff.Hedidn'tcallherback.She'dopenedup
awoundthathadbeenfesteringsincethemomenthe'dlaideyesonTony
Donetti'swifeandhadwantedherforhimself.

Zachtook'offonarundownthedesertedpristinebeach,butthe
exercisedidn'twipeoutthenameMrs.JohnWallace.WhyhadGwenn
mentionedit?

Anothercoupleofmilesandtheanswercametohim.

LaurahasrernarriecL

That'swhatGwenn,withherkeenintellectandperception,hadbeen
tryingtotellhim.Maybeshethoughtitwouldhelphimgetoverhis
heartache.

ButtheknowledgethatLaurabelongedtosomeoneelse,thatanotherman
hadtherighttokissthatexquisitemouth,totouchthatgorgeous
body,camelikeatremendousblowtothemidsection,incapacitating
him.Hecollapsedonthesandwithagroan.

He'dfeltthebrushofherlipsonhischeekingratitude;he'dcrushed
hergrief-strickenbodyinhisarmsbecauseshe'dsoughtcomfort.But
neveroncehadhebeenabletoletloosehispassion.

Nowsomeothermanhadthatprivilege.Mostlikelysomeonewhoknew
herwellinCaliforniaandhadwantedher,despitethefactthatshe
didn'tlovehimback.Zachburiedhisfaceinhisarm.

Whoeverheis,Iknowyoucouldn'tpossiblybeinlovehimwithhim,
LauraDidyoudoittogiveyourbabyafather?

Richardprobablyknewwhothemanwas.AllZachhadtodowasgetto
thenearestphoneandhecouldfindout.Butitwouldchangenothing.
IfZachhopedtoforgether,thefewerdetailshewastoldabouther
remarriage,thebetter.

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AllheknewwasthatthefacelessmanwhonowclaimedLauraforhis
wifehadtakenadvantageofherpregnantcondition,unabletowaita
decentlengthoftimebeforegettingherintohisbed.

AndLauralethim.DearGocL

Threeblastsoftheyacht'shornreturnedZachtoanawarenessofhis
surroundings.TheRacingCloudwasgettingreadytosailtoNorth
SeymourIslandforitspassengers'lastafternoonandnightaboard
ship.

Jumpingtohisfeet,hetookofftowardtheboat.Realizinghewas
alreadylateforreport--hisfirstinfractionsincearrivinginthe
Gal:ipagos--hepouredonthespeed.Zachhadalwayspridedhimselfon
beingthetotalprofessional.UnfortunatelyGwenn'snews'hadknocked
thefoundationoutfromunderhim,leavinghiminutterchaos.

HewentaboardandfoundamomenttoapologizetoCaptainMartelli,who
praisedhimforhisperformancethusfarandtoldhimnottoworry
aboutit.

LaterinthedayZachvolunteeredforthenightwatch.Histhoughtsof
Lauraweresotorturedheneededtokeepbusy,knowinghe'dneverbe
abletogettosleep.

Whenmorningcameandthey'dpulledashoreatBaltraIsland,he'd
finishuplast-minutechores,grabhisgearandheadfortheplanethat
wouldflyhimtoQuito.Heneededachange,anythingtodistracthis
thoughts.Otherwise.Otherwisewhat,Wilde?

THROUGHOUTTHETRIP,LaurahadslowlybeengettingtoknowGwenn
Barker.Tonight,herlastnightaboardthePuffCloud,shefelt
confidentenoughtoapproachthewomaninhercabin.Itwouldbea
goodtimetotipherforbeinganoutstandingguide,anditwouldallow
hertheprivacysheneededtotalkfrankly.

Shewaiteduntildinnerwasalmostover,thenslippedawayfromthe
diningtablebeforePetecoulddrumupsomereasontodetainher.She'd
amasseddozensofpicturesoftheZiffteamforTony'sscrapbookand
hadbroughtacoupleofphotographsofZachwithher.

Onenewspaperarticleshowedhiminhiscyclinguniformandcap.The
otherpicturehadcomefromamagazinewherehestoodbareheadedand
casuallydressedwithagroupofpeople.Bothwereexcellentpictures,
easilyidentifiable.

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Buteveniftheyweren'tthatclear,Zachwasextraordinarilyhandsome.
IfGwennknewhim,shewouldrecognizehimimmediately.Ifshehadn't
seenhim,shemightatleasthaveheardofhim.Lauradidn'twantto
evenconsiderthepossibilitythattheotherwomanwouldn'tbeableto
helpher.

Whenshewasready,sheglancedoutsidehercabindoortoseeifthe
coastwasclear.Good.Nooneinthecorridor.Thesunsetsinthe
Galtipagoswerespectacular,whichmeanttheirtravelpartywas
probablyondeckenjoyingtheviewonelasttime.

NormallyGwenndidn'tminglewiththepassengersafterhours.Laura
hopedthatwastrueoftheirguidetonightasshehurrieddownthehall
tohercabin.

ToLaura'srelief,onthesecondknockGwenntoldhertocomein.Laura
enteredandshutthedoor,herheartstartingtopickupspeed.The
fearthatshemightbeheadedtowardadeadendmadehermouthgo
dry.

SheknewshewastalkingtoofastwhenshethankedGwennforthe
fabuloustripandleftsomeAmericanmoneyonthetableforher.The
womancockedherheadquizzically.

"Something'swrong.Whatisit?HasPetebeenpullingmoremoves?He
hasaterriblecrushonyou,youknow.It'sagoodthinghe'sgoing
hometomorrow."

"Pete'sbeensomewhatofanuisance,butthatisn'twhat'swrong.
Gwenn"shebitherlip"--I'mgoingtobehonestwithyouabout
somethingbecauseI'don'tknowwhereelsetoturn.

"IcameonthistriptofindsomeoneIhavereasontobelievemightbe
workinghereintheGalfipagos.Orrather,hisbrother,Richard
thoughthemightbehere,crewingononeoftheyachts."

GwenneyedLaurainherusualdirectway."What'shisname?"

"ZacharyWilde."Laurahandedherthenewsclippings."Sinceyou
heardaboutwhathappenedtomyhusbandduringtheTourdeFrance,it's
possibleyousawZach'spicture,aswell,andwouldrecognizehimifhe
wasinthesewaters."

"Isawhiminthemagazinearticle."

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"IimaginedyouwouldhaveJ'

Gwenngaveherbacktheclippings."He'ssoattractivehe'dbe
impossibletomiss."

Thiswasatimefortotalhonesty."He'smuchmorethanthat."Laura's
voiceshook."He'sthemostwonderfulmanI'veevermet.Gwenn,have
youseenhim?Ihavetofindhim.I'm...I'mdeeplyinlovewith
him."

"Ishethefatherofyourbaby?"

Laurafeltasifsomeonehadjuststabbedher."No,butIknewthe
gossipsurroundingTony'sdeathwouldconstruethingsthatway.Ifthe
truthbeknown,though,IwishZachwasthefather,"shewhispered
brokenheartedly.

"HeknewIwaspregnantbeforeIdid,andhetook'expertcareofmein
FrancewhileIwasgreenwithmorningsickness.Tonydiedwithout
knowing.

"Yousee,thepregnancywasanaccident.Tonydidn'twantchildren,
andIwasafraidtotellhimuntiltheTourwasover."Lauracovered
herfacewithherhands."Ididn'twantanythingtoupsethim.Iknew
hewantedadivorceasmuchasIdid,buthe'dbeensoconsumedwith
winningtheTourdeFrancewenevergotthechancetotalkaboutit.
Thenhediedfromsomedrughe'dbeentaking.ZachleftParisbefore
thememorialserviceandnoone'sseenhimsince."

Gwenncockedherheadagain."Ithoughtyourhusbanddiedfromaheart
attack."

"That'swhatZachtoldthepresstoavoidanyscandalthatmighthurt
meormybaby.That'sthekindofmanheis.IfZachhasafatal
flaw,he'stoonoble."Shesighed."He'sliketheproverbialknight
inshiningarmorandwon'tletanyoneseehispain.Please,Gwenn,
don'ttellanyoneelsewhatIjusttoldyou.

Thatsecretistheonlythingholdingmysanityintact."Thewoman'
nodded."Youhavemyword.""Thankyou."

"Look,Laura,IwishIcouldhelpyou."

ShefeltGwenn'ssincerity,butlostthebattlewithtearsandwiped

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themawayfuriously."ThismeansRichard'sintuitionwaswrong.He
andhiswifehadconvincedmeI'dfindZachhere.Theyweredepending
onme.I--2-1dreadcallingthemwiththeawfulnews.Richardand
Zach,yousee,arecloserthantwins.Hisdisappearancehasputa
blightontheirmar-rage.I'mnottheonlyonesuffering."

Shetookashudderingbreath."Well...I'vejustgottostartanew
searchsomeplaceelse,becauseI'mnotgoingtoquituntilIfindhim.
HehasthismistakenideathathewasresponsibleforTome"Shestopped
abruptly.

"I'msorry,Gwenn."Shesniffedandpulledherselftogether."This
isn'tyourproblem.Pleaseforgiveme.You'renotonlythebestguide
around,youkeptmysecretfromtheothers.WhenIgetanopportunity,
I'mgoingtowriteyourcompanyandtellthemhowluckytheyareto
haveyouintheiremploy."

ShestartedtoleavewhenGwennsaid,"Wait."Laurawheedledaround.

"Whatisit?Didyouremembersomething?"

"MaybeI'mdoingthewrongthing,butIcan'tlietoyou.Zachdoes
workforWindjammer."

"Gwenn--doesheknowI'mhere?"

"No.JustgivemealittletimeandI'llfindhim."

"Youwoulddothatforme?"sheblurtedjoyously,"Sure.Doyouhave
togohometomorrow?"

"NOW

"I'massumingthatmoneyisnoproblem.""No."

"Itellyouwhat.ThePuffCloudistakingonothergroupof
passengerstomorrowandit'sfullybooked.Butifyouwant,youcan
roomwithme.Sometimesmydaughterjoinsme,butnotthistrip,soit
wouldn'tbeaproblem.I'llarrangeitwithNatetonight.Hewon't
careaslongasthecompanygetspaidforyourpassage."

"Really?"

"Ofcourse.I'llmakeinquiriesatheadofficetofindoutwhereZach
isecactly.ThenI'llleaveamessagethatyou'reonhoardthePuff

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Cloudlookingforhim.How'sthat?"

"That's...that'swonderful!"

Withoutconsciousthought,LaurathrewherarmsaroundGwenn."Oneday
I'llfindawaytoreallythankyou."

AsITTURNEDOUT,Zachwasthelasttoboard'theplanetakingofffor
Quito.Hefoundtheonlyavailableseatnexttoatalkativeguywho
introducedhimselfasPeteandlookedabouttwenty-twoor-three.

Zachwasn'tinthemoodtodealwithanyone,letalonePeteandhis
brother,Brad,whosatdirectlybehindthem.Aftershuttinghiseyes,
hesatback,pretendingtosleep.Heneededitdesperately,butfeared
thatsought-afterstatewouldeludehimforalongtimetocome.

Unfortunatelyhecouldn'ttuneouttheconversationgoingonnextto
him,whichnotsurprisinglycenteredonsomebreathtakingcreature
they'dmetaboardtheiryacht,ratherthanthesightsthey'dseenin
theGal-pagos.Zachcouldhardlyrememberbeingthatage,when
anything,everythingwaspossible."Shethinksshe'sgottenridof
me,"Petewassayinginlowtonestohisbrother,"butshe'sinfora
bigSurprise."'

"AreyougoingtoflyouttoCalifornia?"

"Yup.Onmynextbreak."

"Whereareyougoingtogetthemoney?"

"I'llworkmoreshiftsatthatpizzaplaceafterclasses."

"Ifshedidn'twanttobewithyouontheboat,thenIdon'tthink
she'sgoingtobethathappytoseeyou."

"MornandDadwerearound.That'swhysheavoidedme."

"Idon'tthinkso.She'solderthanus.Besides,

Momsaysshe'spregnantandwantstobeleftalone.""Tough.I'm
goingtogoseeher,anyway."

"Howareyougoingtofindher?Youdon'thaveheraddress."

"I'llfindher.EvenifthereisnoJohnWallacelistedinthe

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directory,IcangetWaittohelpme.Hisdadworksforthepassport
office."

JohnWallace?

Zachsatupwithastart,experiencingasuffocatingfeelinginhis
chest.

HeturnedtoPete."Icouldn'thelpbutoverhearyouguystalking.
Whatyachtdidyousayyouwereon?"

"ThePuffCloud."

Hisjawhardened.Gwennknew.Whenhe'dforcedhimselftocalmdown,
hesaid,"Myyachtwasfullofretiredcouples."

Petegrinned."Weluckedout;"headmitted,eagertotalk."Man,
she'sonehotbabe."

"She'sawidow,too,"hisbrother,Brad,added.

Zach'seyesclosedtightly.Laurahadn'tremarried,afterall.The
reliefhefeltwasexquisite.

"Howcomeshe'snotonthisflight?"heaskedwhenhe'drecovered.

Peteshrugged."Shesaidsomethingaboutwantingtoseemoreofthe
islands,soshestayedonboardfor

REBECCAWlNTP.;R

anothertour.IfI'dhadthemoney,Iwould'vestayedonwithher."

AfreshsurgeofadrenalinealmostdroveZachfromhisseat."Whatdid
shelooklike?"

"Haveyougotallday?""AtleastuntilQuito."

"Haveyoueverseenthatsoap"TheWayThingsAre'?"

"I'vecaughtafewsegments,"heliedwithoutcompunction.

"ShelooksexactlylikeMargo,theattorney,"Bradsaid.

"Nope."Peteshookhishead."She'smuchbetter-looking.Blackcurly

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hair,darkbrowneyes.Yououghttaseherinabathingsuit.Whoa--is
shebuilt!Herlegsgoonforever.IgetthehotseverytimeIthink
abouther."

Atthatpoint,Zachexcusedhimselfonthepretextofneedingtouse
therestroom.Ifhe'dhadtoendureonemoreword,hewouldhave
bashedPete'steethdownhisthroat.

Oncehe'dlockedthedoor,heleanedbackagainstit,tryingtomake
senseofwhathe'dlearned.

Itdidn'tsurprisehimthatLaurawouldtravelunderanassumednarn.

She'dlivedthroughsomuchhoundingfromthemedia,sheprobably
dreadedsteppingoutsideherhousetogetthenewspaper.Ifthat,in
fact,isherusualhabit,hethought.Hehadnocluehowshelivedher
life.

Whatreallypreyedonhismindwasthereasonshe'dcometothe
Galipagos.

Noone,notevenRichard,couldhaveknownwherehe'dgonewhenhe'd
leftParis,leastofallLaura.ButbothhimandLaurabeingherein
Ecuadoratthesametimewastoogreatacoincidence.

Hisbrowsknittedintoafiercefrown.Nothingaddedup.Laurahadto
beatleastthreeorfourmonthspregnantbynow.Evenifshewasin
excellenthealth,itshockedhimthatshewouldtravelonherownto
thisremoteregionoftheglobe.Incaseofanemergency,theclosest
expertmedicalcarewashundredsofmilesawaybyair.Forhertosign
onforanothercruisedefiedlogic.

Unlessshewaslookingforhim.

Butifthatwastrueandshe'denlistedGwenn'shelp,thenwhyhadn't
Gwenntoldhimyesterday?Herakedhishandsthroughhishair.

Becauseit'smorethanpossibleLauraisn'tlookingforyou,Wilde.And
ifthat'sthecase,thenGwennhadnochoicebuttobelieveLaurais
hereforavacation.Nothingelse.

MaybeafterrecognizingLaurafromthetabloids,Gwennhadbeen
promptedtocomeonalittlefishingexpeditionofherownyesterday:

Themorehethoughtaboutit,themoreherealizedthat,whenhe'd

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refusedtoanswerherquestionaboutLaura,Gwennhadmentionedthe
nameMrs.JohnWallacejusttoseewhatkindofareactionshe'dget
fromhim.

WhenZachsaidhe'dneverheardofthewoman,Gwennhadclosedup.In
retrospect,hecouldn'tblameher,notafterhe'dallbuttoldherto
leavehimalone.

Whichwasexactlywhatshe'ddone.She'ddeliveredhercryptic
message,thenlefthimtohisowndevices.

AfewminutesagoPetehadunwittinglydecodedthatmessage.Nowit
wasuptohimwhetherornotheactedontheinformation.

Lord.LaurawashereintheGaldpagos.She'dbeenhereforthepast
tendays.

Whatifshedoesn'twanttoseeyou,Wilde?

Whatifshe'stryingashardasyouaretoburypainfulmemories?

Evenifyoudoseeheragain,itcanonlyendindisaster.That'sthe
pattern,Haven'tyoulearnedanything?

Bythetimeheleftthewashroom,he'dmadeuphismindthatwhenthey
landedinQuito,he'dtakethattripintothemountainswhere,at
21,000feet,theairthinneddangerously.Theysaidamancouldpass
outfromlackofoxygenlongbeforehereachedthatheight.Well,he'd
findout.Infact,helookedforwardtoit.

Butafterhe'ddisembarkedandhadmadeitasfarasthe
passenger-informationdeskattheterminal,hesuddenlyfoundhimself
walkingtowardtheairlinedesktobookthenextflightbackto
Baltra.

Whilehewaitedtoboardtheplaneforthereturntrip,hephoned
companyheadquarterslocatedintheheartofQuitoandaskedtospeak
toPaquita.Shewasthemanagerinchargeofstaffing.

HeneededtoknowthePuffCloud'sitinerary.Whenhe'dascertained
theyacht'snextdisembarkationpoint,he'daskPaquitatolocate
anotherboatgoingtothesamelocationfromSantaCruzandhitcha
ride.

Thougheverythinginsidehimscreamedthewarningnottoputhimselfin

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anymoreemotionaljeopardy,Zachfoundhecouldn'tfightthe
overwhelmingdesiretoseeheragain.Thedesirehadtranslateditself
intoacompulsiontotallybeyondhiscontrol.

CHAPTERELEVEN

L^ug^HADBEENLYINGonherbedtakinganapwhensheheardGwenn's
voiceovertheintercom.

"Attention,everybody.We'realongsidethepeninsulaofSantaFe
Island.AtlunchIpromisedyouaswimwithsomesealions,andwe've
gotsealionsheadingourwayasIspeak.Reportondeckwithyour
snorkelgear."

MuchasLauraenjoyedsnorkeling,shedecidedtotakeGwenn'sadvice
andonlyparticipateifshecouldwadeoutintotheimpossiblyblue
waterfromtheshore.Heretheyhadtojumpfromtheboatandcouldn't
touchbottom.IfLaurashoulddevelopacramporacomplication.Since
thebaby'shealthcamefirst,Lauraoptedtobesensibleandremainon
decktowatchtheothers,maybedosomefilming.Itwentwithout
sayingthatGwennwouldberelieved,sincesheandthecrewwere
responsibleforeveryone'ssafety.

Laura'srealreasonforjoininginasmuchaspossiblewastoavoid
beingalonewithherownthoughtsandemotions,whichrangedfrom
elationthathewasheretofearthathewouldn'twanttoseeher.

"Mrs.Wallace?"

Lauradidn'trecognizethemalevoice,'butthatdidn'tsurpriseher.
Exceptforthecaptain,theyhadadifferentcrewthistripanditwas
onlytheirseconddayout.MostlikelyGwennhadsentsomeonetotell
hertocomeupondeck.

"Justaminute,please."

Slidingoffthebed,shepulledonacleanpairofwhitematernity
shortsandmatchingcottonoverblousebeforepaddingtothedoorinher
barefeet.

Butthesightthatgreetedhereyeswhensheopeneditsentherinto
shock.

Zach!

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Agaspescapedherthroat.Sheputahandoverherheartbecauseit
hurtsomuch.

Gwenn,itseemed,hadwastednotimefindinghim.Herhungryeyes
feastedonhimwithoutreservation,catalogingeverydetail.Histall
powerfulphysiqueclothedinaT-shirtandshorts.Histannedskin
thatthestrongequatorialsunhadburnishedtoarichmahogany.His
hair,nolongertheshort-croppedracer'sstyle,itssun-bleachedtips
makinghimmoreattractivethanever.

"Zach."Shefinallymanagedtosayhisname."Hello,Laura."

Hisnarrowedgazeplayedoverhertannedfeatures,thendroppedlower
toregisterthechangestoherfigurethepregnancyhadcaused.There
wassomethinginhislookthatwassoerotichemightaswellhavebeen
touchingher.Shecouldn'tswallow,couldn'tthink.

"A-areyouveryangry?"sheasked.

Hiswell-definedbrowsmetinapuzzledfrown."Angry?"

"BecauseIgI'vebeenlookingforyou,"sheexplainedinashaking
voice.

Hischestheavedasifhewashavingdifficultydealingwith
conflictingemotionsofhisown.Sheclosedhereyes.Atleasthe
wasn'tindifferenttoher.

Whenhedidn'trespond,sheopenedthemagain.Please.comein."

DearGod.Thewayhervoicethrobbed,shesoundedasifshewas
begginghim.

Shecouldsensethestrugglegoingoninsidehimbeforehefinally
steppedoverthethreshold,dwarfingthetinycabinassheshutthe
door.Terrifiedhewouldchangehismindandleave,sherestedher
backagainstit,herpalmsflatonthemetal.

Histautbodystoodplantedinthecenteroftheroom,whichmeantthey
weren'tmorethanthreefeetapart.Shecouldfeeltheheatradiating
fromhim,smel}

thescentofthesoapheusedintheshower.

"HowdidGwennfindyousofast?"

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"Shedidn't,butthat'sanotherstory,"hesaiddarkly.Closetohim
likethis,shecouldseelinesaroundhismouththathadn'tbeenthere
twomonthsago,givinghimanalmosthuntedlook."Moretothepoint,
howdidyouknowIwashere?"

"Th-that'sanotherstory,too."Nowwasnotthetimetomentionhis
brother.Aninvisibleshieldhadbeenloweredaroundhisheart.

Hiseveryemotionhadgoneintodeepfreeze--excepthisguilt,which
wasaliveanddoingwell.Andthatguilt,compoundedbytheproblemof
hisfearofeverbeingvulnerabletolossagain,haddrivenhimaway.
Sheknewthatnow.

SincesheandTony'sfamilyhadbeenthroughtherapy,Laurahada
strongconvictionthattheonlywayshewasgoingtopenetratethat
shieldwasthroughhisguilt.Fightingfirewithfire.

"Okay,thenwhyhaveyoubeenlookingforme?"heaskednext.

Zachwasn'tamantomincewords.He'dalwaysbeenopenanddirect,
oneofthe-manyqualifiessheadoredabouthim.Butthiswasonetime
she'dhavegivenanythingifhehadn'twantedtogetstraighttothe
point.Notwhenshewasachingforhimtotakeherinhisarms--they'd
beenapartforsolong!Therewassomuchtosay.

"Ineedhelp,"shewhisperedachingly.

Whileheabsorbedthat,atension-filledsilencehoveredbetween
them.

Atlastheasked,"Areyouintroubleofsomekind?"

"Yes."

Hisjawhardened."Whyme?"

She'dbeenexpectingthatquestion.Whatevershesaidnowwould
determinewhetherornotZachdisappearedfromherlifewithinthenext
sixtyseconds.

"Ihaveaconfessiontomaketoyou.WhenIflewtoBelgiumtosupport
TonyintheTourdeFrance,I--Ihadanotheragenda."

ShesawZach'shard-muscledbodystiffeninreaction.Thepastwas

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everybitaspainfulforhimasitwasforher.

"ThedemonsdrivingTonyruinedourmarriagefromthedaywetookour
vows.OvertimeIcametorealizethatdeepinTony'spsyche,he
wantedadivorce.Butforvariousreasons,nottheleastofwhichwas
hisfearofhisauntanduncle'sdisapprovalafterallthey'ddonefor
him,hecouldn'tbringhimselftoaskmeforone.

"OnasubconsciouslevelIrealizeditwasuptomeifwewereeverto
befreeofeachother.Butlikemostyoungwives,IhadhopesthatI
couldchangehim,thatIcouldmakeourmarriagework.

"Whenheturnedprothefirstyear,Isawthewritingonthewall,but
Istillclungtotheidealisticdreamthateverythingwouldbeall
rightifIjusthadpatience.Hisauntanduncleencouragedmeinthis
ofcourse.However,itwasthewrongthingtodo,andforthenext
fiveyearseverythingwentdownhill.

"Fourandahalfmonthsago,Tonycamehomeforatwo-dayvisitbecause
hisuncledemandedit.Wehadn'tbeenintimateinalmostayear.We
hadsexonce,butyoucouldn'tcallitmakinglove.Itwaslikewe
wereprogrammedtodoourdutyorsomething.Itwasawful.That's
whenIrealizedIcouldn'tgoonlikethatandIwasdeterminedtoask
himforadivorce,nomatterhowhisauntandunclefeltaboutit.

"ButwiththeTourdeFrancecomingupsosoon,Ithoughtitwouldbe
bettertobroachthesubjectwhenitwasover.That'swhentheidea
cametomethatifhisfather'sscrapbookcouldhelpTonytofocus,he
mightwintheyellowjersey.Ifthathappened,hewouldbeonsucha
high,itwouldnumbhimtoanyguiltandhe'dagreetothedivorce."

Shesighed."ThenIfoundoutIwaspregnant.Ididn'tknowwhatto
do.Ididn'twantthebabytobethereasonhestayedwithme,butI
realizedhehadtoknowthetruth.Soagain,Idecidedtoputoff
tellinghimthenewsuntilaftertherace."

Zachshiftedhisweight."Andbecauseofmeandmydesiretogivehim
ahardtimefortreatingyoulikehedid,hislifewascutshort,"he
saidbitterly,woundingherheartalloveragain.

Ilovedyouforthat,Zach!lovedyou,andstillloveyou,somuch,
youcan'tpossiblyimagine.

"ObviouslywebothhaveregretswhereTonyisconcerned,"sherushedto
agree.Arguingwithhimwouldgethernowhere."It'struethat

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neitherofUscandoanythingaboutthepast.It'soveranddone.But
there'sstillsomethingtobesalvagedfromallthepain,something
thatcouldbringusbothalotofpeace.That'swhyI'mhere."

"Idon'tfollow,"camethehollowrejoinder.

"Ihaveadefenselessbabygrowinginsideme,alittlelifewhoonly
asksforamotherandfathertogiveitlove."Shetookadeepbreath.
It'snowornever,

Laura."Howwouldyouliketohelpmeraisethischild?"

Thesecondthewordsleftherlips,hisheadliftedinshock.

"Inmymind,"shewenton,asdeterminedasshe'deverbeeninher
life,"you'vealwaysbeenthefather.Youweretheonewhodiscovered
Iwaspregnant.Ididn'tevenknow!"Shemadeanoisesomewhere
betweenalaughandasob.

"Whenyouwipedmymouthwithaclothandhelpedmetothebed,brough
mefoodandlookedafterme,itfeltlikeyouweremyhusband.Andif
youremember,youweretheonewhoworriedaboutmydrivingthecircuit
aloneandmadethosearrangementswithyourbrother.Itwasyouwho
phonedmethenightofKlaus'saccidenttomakesureIwasallright,
toseeifIneededanything.NotTony.

"NowthatI'malone,I'mafraidtoraisethisbabybymyself,Zach.
NaturallyI'mnottalkingaboutthephysicalaspectsIhavethemoney
andawonderfulsupportsystemwithmyfamily.WhatI'mtalkingabout
ismybaby'semotionaldevelopment.

"YoulivedwithTonylongenoughtoseewhatbeingdeprivedofafather
didtohim.Itdeniedhimanidentity.Tragicallyhisuncletreated
himlikeanuncle,ratherthanthefatherhedesperatelyneeded.I
don'twantthattohappentomybaby.Mybabydeservesafather.But
notjustanyfather."

ShesawZach'slipsthin,butwasprettysurehewasstilllistening.

"BecauseyouknowthingsaboutmymarriagetoTonyandthe
circumstancessurroundinghisdeathnooneelseknowsexceptme,that
makesyoutheonlymanwho'dhaveavestedinterestinmybaby's
welfare.Don'tyousee?Tonyisabondbetweenus."

Bynow,fearofhisrejectionhadreleasedanothersurgeofadrenaline,

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forcingthebloodtopoundinherears.Takingacalculatedrisk,she
said,"IfyouandIworkedhardatit,wecouldshowerthischildwith
loveandattention,thekindTonywouldn'tletanyonegivehimafterhe
losthisparents."

"Marriageisn'tinmyplans,Laura."

She'dbeenwaitingforthatwintrysalvoandwasseveralstepsaheadof
him.

"Thatdoesn'tsurpriseme,notafterlosingtwofiances."AgainLaura
sawhisbodystiffen,butshewentontalkingasifshehadn'tnoticed.
"Unlikeyou,Iwasneverengaged,muchtomyregret.IfTonyhadbeen
forcedtowaitthreeorfourmonthsbeforetheceremony,Iprobably
would'veseenenoughevidenceofhisinsatiabledriveandinner
strugglestorealizeagoodmarriagewithhimwouldbedifficult,if
notimpossible,toachieve.

"PerhapsTonyknewthis,subconsciouslyatleast,whichwaswhyhe
rushedmeoffmyfeet.Iwastooinexperiencedtounderstandwhatwas
goingon.Atthetimewemet,manyofmyfriendsweremarriedor
engaged.I'mafraidIwasinlovewithloveandgotsweptalongwith
thetide."

Shedrewaraggedbreath."OnceIwasmarriedtohimandrealizedmy
mistake,Ididn'tknowhowtoendthepain.Iwassoriddiedwith
guiltittookmesixyearstogatherthecouragetoconfronthim.When
hecamehomeforthattwo-dayvisitinMay,Ishouldhaveaskedfora
divorcerightthen.

"ButonceagainIchickenedout.WhenyouguessedIwaspregnanteven
beforeIdid,youencouragedmetotellhimrightaway.ButIcouldn't
bringmyselftodoit.Iwasafraidtohurthinv--hewasveryfragile
insideandIwasterrifiedoftheconsequences."

Shedrewinanotherraggedbreath."Afterlivingthroughsomuchpain
withTony,I'malittlenervousofitrightnow."Thatwasn'ttrue,
butshedidn'twanttofrightenhimoffbymakinghimthinkhehadto
marryher.

"Butpleasedon'tgetmewrong,"shesaid,herhandsspreadinfrontof
her."I'veseensomewonderfulmarriages.Especiallyyour
brother's."

"RichardandBeysharesomethingunique,"headmittedinagravelly

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tone.

"Yes,theydo,"sheagreed,"andIknowwhy.They'rebothunselfish
andputtheotherperson'shappinessfirst,everytime.Nomatterhow
tryingthecircumstances,theyforgetselfandreachouttocomfortthe
other.It'sarevelationtome.Idon'tthinkmanycouplesattain
thatkindofjoy."

"You'rerightaboutthat."

"CommunicationwascertainlynotastrongpointinmymarriagetoTony.
Hewasn'thomeenough."

"Surelythat'snotyourfault."

"No.Inolongertaketheblameforalotofthingsthatdidordidn't
happen,butIamsorryhediedwithoutknowinghewasgoingtobea
father."

"I'msorry,too,Laura.Buthewasonthevergeofwinningthemost
importantraceofhiscareer.KnowingTonyasIdid,plushaving
witnessedtheprecariousstateofyourmarriage,Ithinkthenewswould
havethrownhim.Inretrospect,Ibelieveyou'didtherightthingby
keepingquiet."

Thankyouforsayingthat,Zaclt"Maybe.Butthatwasn'tyourgut
reactionwhenyousawmethrowingupinthehotelbathroomonthe
morningofthetimetrials.YouurgedmetotellTony."

Hestraightenedtohisfullheight."Ididn'tknowallthefacts
then."

Evennowyou'redefendingme,ZaciIfyouonlyknewhowmuchIlove
yo

"Neverthelessyoualwayshavetherightinstincts.Inthatregard,you
andRichardareverymuchalike."

"Youknowwhattheysay,Laura.Hindsight'stwenty-twenty."

"That'sexactlywhatyouhaveallthetime!It'sthereasonyou'rean
exceptionalhumanbeing.That'swhyIwantyoutobeinmybaby'slife
onapermanentbasis.IneedagoodmanIcantrust."

Hercheekshadgrownwarm."Igrewupwithawonderfuldad.The

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thoughtofdeprivingmyownchildofthatexperiencehurtsme.If
you'rehonest,you'llagreewithme,sinceIhappentoknowthatyou
andyourbrothersshareaspecialbondwithyourfather."

"Idon'tdenyit."

"That'swhyIwouldlikepermissiontohangaroundyouasmuchasyou
wouldallow.Therewouldbenoexpectations,justthequietknowledge
thatyou'rethere."Sheheldherbreath.

"Myworkishere,Laura.YouworkandliveinHollywood."

"No,Idon't."

"Whatareyousaying?"

"AsItoldthepressthatnightinVald'Isre,I'vegivenupmyacting
job.AfewweeksagoIgaveuptheapartment.EverythingIownisin
storage.There'snoplaceIcallhomeanymore.TheonlyspotIwant
tobeisnearyoubecauseyoumakemefeel...safe."Heblinked.

"It'strue!"shesaidfromherheart."WhenwefirstmetandI
couldn'tfindTony,youdideverythinginyourpowertohelpme,even
toarrangingformetodrivearoundthecircuitwithyourbrother.
Don'tyousee?WhenyourealizedIwaspregnant,youtookcareofme,
watchedoverme.

"ThenightyoucalledmefromthehospitalbecauseKlaushadbeenhurt,
IrealizedthenhowmuchIneededyouandhadcometodependonyou.
Becauseyou'renotawomanwho'sexpectingababy,youcouldn't
possiblyunderstandhowmuchthatcaringmeanttome."

Swallowinghard,shesaid,"Irealizeyou'rea

RpoundsCCAWINTERS213

sailor,butyouhavetocomeashoreonceinawhile.Iunderstand
therearehousesforrentinPuertoAyoraonSantaCruzIsland.IfI
livedthere,youcoulddropinformealsattheendofacruise,stay
allnight.Whateversuitedyou.

"JustknowingIcouldseeyoufromtimetotimewouldbringameasure
ofcomfortandreliefI'haven'texperiencedsincebeforeyouleft
Paris."Shelookedaway,fightingtears."WhenKlausandJacquescame
tothechurchandtoldmeyou'dgone,Ifeltlike...myrockhad

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desertedme.ItwastheworstfeelingI'veeverhad."

Shesawthecolordrainfromhisfaceandwenton,"OfcourseI
couldn'tblameyouforleaving.You'dshoulderedeveryone'spainto
helptheZiffteamsucceed,butnooneshoulderedyours."Hervoice
caught."Icouldn'tcomeafteryourightthenbecauseIwasstill
gettingoverthetraumaofTony'sdeath,andIhadresponsibilities.
Therewerelooseendstotieup,andTony'sauntanduncleneededme.
ButnowthatI'mfreeandhaveputtheworstofmygriefbehindme,I
wanttobewithyouinanycapacityyou'llallow."

Agroanescapedhisthroat."Thatwouldheinsanity,Laura.We're
hundredsofmilesfromthenearesthospital,"hemutteredalmostasan
afterthought,makingherheartleap,becausethoughhisrejectionwas
clear,somewhereinhiscomplicatedpsyche,hewasstillentertaining
theidea.

"I'mnotexpectingthisbabyformorethanfourmonths,andthedoctor
hastoldmemypregnancyisgoingalongperfectly.Ifanemergency
arose,IcouldflytoQuito."

Herubbedthebackofhisneck."Ionlyhavethreemorecruiseswith
thecompany,thenI'mleavingtheGa!pagosandsailingmyownboatto
otherwatersaroundtheworld."

Everytimeheopenedhismouth,shewasputonanemotionalseesaw.One
minutehopeflared.Thenexthesaidsomethingtoextinguishit.

"Wouldyouconsidertakingmewithyou?Ifnothingelse,I'man
excellentcookandI'vealwayswantedtolearnhowtosail.Thebaby
wouldgethersealegsearly."

"Her?"

She'dbeenwaitingforthepropitiousmomenttodropthatlittlepiece
ofnews.

"Yes.Ihadanultrasoundandthedoctorisprettysureit'sagirl.
Shecouldlearneverythingabouttheoceansandsailingfromyou.I
can'timagineabettereducationforaCaliforniagirl,canyou?"

"Foradozenreasons,Laura,it'soutofthequestion."

Takingacalculatedrisk,shesaid,"Iftheideahadanyappeal,none
ofthosereasonswouldapplyPleaseforgiveme.You'veheardabouta

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motherwhowouldfaceaburningbuildingtosavehereh"

"Haveyoueverseentheoceanduringastorm?"

hebrokeinharshly.

"No."

"Rightnowitlookslikeyourfriend,blueandplacid.Butthenawind
COmesup.Inaninstantcrythingchanges.TheOceanbecomesthe
enemyandyoustartfightingforyourlife.Underthosecircum.
stances,howcould!protectYOuandthebaby?"

Astheirgazesfused,aCertaincalmdescended."BecauseYOu'rea
Wilde.IhavenodoubtyouwouldfindaWay."SheknewtheConviction
inhervocereachedhimbecausehelookedaway,butnotbeforeshesaw
theflashoftormentinhiseyes.

Undaunted,shemadeonefinalplea."Obviouslytheanswerisno,but
mayheyouWouldn'tmindifI

CamealongonyournextcruisewiththeCOmpanybefore!makedefinite
pans.WhenYOU'renot

IcoulduseaSOundingboard."onduty,

"TheWinCloUdisfullytooquickly.bOOked,"heSaidatrifle

NervousnesswasnotanemotionsheWouldhaveattributedtohim.It
broughtheranothermOdicumofhope.

"Arethecrew'squartersfullybooked,too"

ledidn'tanswerrightaway,sherushedga.ve.mepermissionto
shareon,When

"Thecapna.youICouldbunk",:"-Gwennsroomwith

,,-utYOuonYournaaanextrabed.Ivearea--.-yachtifcruise.
"uypaidforanother

TherewasamarkedriseandfallofhisChest."I

"begoodCOmpany.AfterthewatchIcravedescended."Aftright,I
understand.

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I'mnotSorry!cametothe

AtleastIknowItriedtodotherightthingforTony'schild."

Hisfacebecameaninscrutablemask."Whereareyougoingwhenyou
leavehere?"

"Ihaveseveraloptions.MaybeI'llfigsreeverythingOutwhileI'm
onthiscruisewithGwenn.Shehasalotofwisdom,havinglived
throughadivorce,whichIunderstandisevenmoredifficultthan
gettingoverthedeathofaspouse."

"Gwenn'srootsarehere,Laura.Youneedyourfamily."

"Iwouldhavethoughtyoudid,too."

"I'mnotpregnant,"hesaid.

"That'sright.You'reamanwhocanmoveaboutfreelywithnounwanted
baggage,Noties,noobligations.Howluckymenare."

"Don'ttalkthatway."Hesoundedangry."Cynicismdoesn'tbecome
you."

"Ah...forgiveme,butIhadagreatteacherinTony.Hislegacyto
meandmybaby."

"Laura..."Shecouldseehisthroatworking."Don'tworry,Zach.I'm
notyourresponsibility.Ineverwas.Therearelotsofmenoutthere
whowantarelationshipwithouttheceremony.SinceIrefusetoletmy
daughtergrowupwithoutafatherfigure,I'msureitwon'ttakelong
tofindsomeone.MaybeI'llgetluckyandhe'lllikechildren.Maybe
he'llevenstickaroundlongenoughtohelpmeraisemydaughter.Maybe
not.

"Iwouldhavepreferredthatmantobeyou,butyou'vemadeyour
feelingsquiteclear.I'dbelyingifIdidn'ttellyouI'm
disappointed.Nevertheless,IknewIcouldcountonyoutobehonest
withme."

Sheforcedherselftostaycalm."Thankyouforthat,andthankyou
forcomingaboardtotalktomewhenyoudidn'thaveto.Obviouslyyou
sailedhereonanotheryacht.Youprobablyneedtogetgoing."

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Sheturnedaroundwiththeintentionofopeningthedoorforhim.To
herjoy,hemadenomovetoleave."Areyoufeelingallright,
Laura?"

ThankGodyourhearthasn'thardenedcompletely."Sincethemorning
sicknesswentaway,I'veneverfeltbetter.ButIhavetoadmitthe
movementoftheyachtmakesmesleepy.Igenerallytakeanapthis
timeofday.Therockingmotionissortoflikeagiantcradle.No
doubtthebaby'likesit,too?"

Shesmiledassheturnedbacktohim.

Bycontrast,hisjawhardened.Afteralongsilencehesaid,"Youlook
good."

"Thankyou.Sodoyou."Icanseeyou'reinyourelement."

Hisexpressionrevealedsurprise."Howdidyouknow?"

"Beytoldmeaboutyourpassionforsailing."Afterasustainedpause,
heasked,"Whenareyoudue?"Hechangedthesubjectsofastshe
didn'thavetimetoblink.

"Februarytwentieth."

"WhathappenedtoMargo?"heasked.

"Oneoftheevilmobbosseshiredadoctortodoplasticsurgeryonher
whileshewasinhercoma.Afewweeksagoshewokeupwithanewface
andanewlife."

Zachdidn'tsmile."Theoldonewasbetter."

Sheeyedhimsaucily."Haveyoubeenholdingoutonme?Ithoughtyou
neverwatchedTV."

"You'reright.HoweverIdohaveeyesinmyhead,andwhatI'mlooking
atrightnowcouldneverbeimprovedupon."

Lauratrembledineverycellofherbody."Youdoknowhowtomakean
oldpregnantladyfeelattractive."

"Everyoldpregnantladyshouldlooksoattractive."

"Thenit'sagoodthingyouwon'tbeseeingmeagain.Givemeafew

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moreweeks,andI'lllooklikeabeachedwhale."Shehopedherjoke
coveredherfragmentedemotions,

Ableaknessenteredhiseyes."Youmusthavesomeideaofwhereyou
thinkyou'lllive."

ShenoddexLIcankeepthisupaslongasyoucan,mydarling."I've
alwayslovedthebeach.TheonlyreasonTonyandIsettledin
Hollywoodwasbecausehewantedtobewithhisracingbuddieswho'd
formedacyclingclubthere."

Sheshookherhead."IfI'dhadmyway,wewouldn'thavelived
anywherenearHollywood,andIwouldhavefoundajobdoingsomething
else.ButTonyinsistedIstayonthesetandkeepingworkingbecause
itbroughtinmoremoneythaneitherofus

WINTERS

couldhaveearnedanyotherway.Heneededfundsandexpectedmeto
helphim,"sheaddedquietly.Zach'sjawtautened."Iwonderedabout
that.""WhenhelefttheStatestoraceinothercountries,it
suitedhimtotelleveryoneIwastoobusyathomebeingaTVstarto
joinhim.Thetruthis,hewantedmoreandmoremoneytosupporthis
expensivelife-style--theclothes,theparties,cars.women.He
boughtthatFerrariinItalywiththemoneyI'dgivenhimtoattendlaw
school.LittledidIknowhe'dneverintendedtobealawyer.

"Sincehisdeath,Ireceivedabillforawardrobehe'dhaddesigned
forhimselfinItaly.Obviouslyhewasattemptingtocreateasortof
sportssuperstarimageforhimself."

Zachwasstilllistening,soshedecidedtotellhimeverything."You
knowwhatTonywaslike.Hehaddelusionsofgrandeurthatturnedhim
intoastranger.Heneverreallywantedme--onlywhatIcoulddofor
him.Whenwefirstmet,hetoldmeIwasbeautiful.Everywomanwants
tohearthatfromthemansheloves.Butastimewenton,Irealized
thatmyphysicalbeautywasallhecaredabout.IfI'dbeenless
attractive,hewouldneverhavepursuedmebecauseIwouldn'thavefit
theimagehehadinmindforthewomanhewantedhangingonhis
arm--say,forapublicityshoot.Ididn'trealizethisuntilitwas
toolate."Shesighed."Tonyneverintendedtogettoknowtheperson
Ireallyam.Heledafrighteninglyshallowexistence.

"Butthat'sallinthepastnow,andIliketothinkhe'sfoundpeace
atlast.Asforme,Iwantnothingmoretodowithactingor

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filmmaking.I'vegotadegreeinEnglish,andmaybeonedayI'llgo
backforamaster's.Inthemeantime,I'dliketostayincontactwith
Bev.We'rebothexpectingaroundthesametime,youknow."

Hisfeatureslookedchiseled."You'vebeenwithemrecently?"

"Yes.Iaskedfortheirhelpinfindingyou.Ihopeyoudon'tmind."
Pleasedon'tmirM."BevthoughtyoumighthavecometotheGa!fipagos
becauseofthattravelmagazineshelentyou.Itseemsshewasright.
ItalsoseemsasifallI'veeverdoneisprevailonthemforfavors.I
lovebothofthem.Alot."

Zachstaredatherforanuncomfortablylongmoment.

i'vesaidtoomuch.

"Mycondoisforsale."

What?Shereeledinshockandstayedfirmlyplantedagainstthe
door.

"Youcanbuyitifyouwant.It'srightonthewaterandhasthree
bedrooms,oneofwhichcouldeasilybetransformedintoanursery.What
furnishingsarethereyoucankeeporsell."

Herheartplummeted.

"It'sbeenvacantformonths,"hewenton,oblivioustoherpain.
"RichardandBeyhavebeenkeepinganeyeonitthepastsixyears
whileI'vebeeninandoutofthecountry.ButItoldRichardatthe
beginningoftheTourdeFrancethatIwasgoingtoletitgobecauseI
wasn'treturningtoCalifornia.

"You'rewelcometoit,Laura.Infact,I'dliketosellitsothatit
wouldn'tbeaburdentomybrotheranylonger.You'donlybetwo
blocksawayfromthem."

Steady,Laura.Don'tfallapartinfrontofhim.Ifhe'sbeing
deliberatelycrueltogetridofyou,he'sdoinganexcellentjob.
"Doesyourbrotherhavepowerofattorney?"Shemanagedtokeepher
voicelevel,unemotional,despiteherpain.

Henodded,butshenoticedtheshadowthatenteredhiseyes.It
expressedherquestionhadsurprisedhim.Good."Well"-sheforced
herlipsintoasmile"--that'sanincredibleoffer,butIprobably

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won'ttakeyouuponit,sinceImaynotberesidinginCaliforniaat
all."

"Why'sthat?"

"BecauseI'mseriouslyconsideringmovingtoHa-waiL"Atleast,Iam
now!

Helookedasifshe'djustslappedhisface."Thatdoesn'tmakeany
sense."

"Actuallyitdoes.BeforeImetTony,I'dstarteddatingamannamed
MichaelShipp.Heworkedasarealtorforhisdad,whohasanagency
inHawaiiandCalifornia.NaturallybecauseofTony,ourrelationship
cametoaprematureend.

"TomysurpriseheshowedupatTony'sfuneralserviceinHollywoodto
payhisrespects.WhenhelearnedIwasgoingtomoveandwanteda
placeonthewater,heinvitedmetoflyoversohecouldshowmesome
beachpropertiesImightbeabletoafford."Anditwouldbefaraway
fromyou,mydarling.Maybethat'sexactlywhat!need.

"Ishemarried?"Zachdemanded.

"No."

"Doesheknowyou'reexpectingababy?"

"Everyoneknowsandseemseagertobeofassis-tatice

"You'dbemuchwisertostaynearfamily."Afterapauseshesaid,"No
matterwhathappens,IthinkI'veprevailedontheWildesaltruismlong
enough,don'tyou?ItoldyouinBelgiumthatIlookeduponyouasmy
guardianangel.WhenIarrivedinSLLeger,Ineededonedesperately
andthereyouwere---readytokeepmyworldfromfallingapart.But
youleftParisbeforeIcouldthankyouforeverything.I'mgladI've
hadthischancenow.IthinkyouknowIcouldn'thavegottenthrough
thatperiodwithoutyou."

"Klauswouldhavetakenover,"hemurmured."Hethoughttheworldof
you."

"Ilikedhim,too,butthere'sonlyoneZachWilde."

"That'snicetohear."Heglancedathiswatch."UnfortunatelyI

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can'tstayanylongertotalk.IsthereanythingIcandoforyon
beforeIgo?Doyouwantmetoaskoneofthecrewtogetyouadrink
orasandwich?"

Laurahadthoughtshecouldhandleit,butnowshehadtofightnotto
reacttothehorrifyingrealizationthathewasabouttodisappear
again.

"Nothing,thankyou.Theyfeedyoulikekingsonhere.Ihadthis
hugelunchandI'mgoingbacktoL.A.plumpasahen.Noone'll
recognizeme.Maybethat'snotsuchabadthing,afterall.I'mso
sickofpublicityit'swonderfultobeanonymousagain."Shechuckled
softlythoughherheartwasbreaking."Godblessyou,Zach.Noone
deservesthebestinlifemorethanyou."

Needingsomethingtodowith.herhands;sheturnedandopenedthe
doorforhim.Outofasenseofpreservation,shesteppedbacktomake
suretheirbodiesdidn'ttouchashemovedpasther.

Whenhewasinthecorridor,hefacedheronelasttime,hisgrayeyes
darkslits."ThecaptainSaysyou'llbestoppingatSouthPlazaIsland
tomorrow.Iknowthecactusisinflowerandthesightisspectacular,
butit'sadifficultwalkevenforsomeonewhoisn'tpregnant.Stayon
theyacht."

Shenodded."Sinceyou'retheonewarningme,I'lldoasyousay."The
desiretotoUChhimwassostrongshethoughtshemightdiefromthe
wanting.ButheObviouslywasn'tsufferingthesameway.

Faceit.He'sbeyondfeeling,andsomehowyou'regoingtohavetoget
overhitrr

"Goodbye,Laura."Thatnoteoffinalityinhisvoicedevastatedher.

"Goodbye."

Aftershuttingthedoor,shesankontoherbedinfrozensilence,her
anguishtoodeepfortears.Shewouldgivehimanhour,thenshewould
prevailonGwenntohelpherfindawaytogetbacktoPuertoAyoraon
anotheryacht.

Zachhadgoneawaybelievingshewouldfinishoutherten-daytouron
thePuffClou&Butshecouldn'tbeartostayanotherminuteinthe
Gahipagosknowinghewassoclose,yetsounreachable.

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IfhecouldgiveuphishomeinNewportBeach,thenhetrulyintended
tocutalltieswithhisoldlife.

Yourguardianangelhasdoneallhecandoforyou,Laura.Nowhe's
flownelsewhereandyou'llneverseehimagain.

CHAPTERTWELVE

THEBARTENDERattheDciMarHotelinPuertoAyoralookedsurprised
whenZachsatdownandorderedadoublewhiskey.

"Youhaven'tdrunkanythingforawholeweek,andnowyouwantadouble
thisearlyinthemorning?"heaskedwithafriendlysmileashe
handedZachhisdrink."Whatgives?"

Ignoringthequestion,Zachswallowedtheentirecontentoftheglass
inonego.

Thebartenderkeptupthechatter,oblivioustoZach'smood."Youmust
bethekindofguywhodoesn'tusuallydrink,butwhenyOUdo,yougo
allout.AmIright?"

"Yeah,"Zachmuttered,settingtheglassdownwithmoreforcethanwas
necessary."Domeagain."

Thisonehesipped,hismindelsewhere.Everydayhe'dgottenup
thinkinghe'dflytoLimaforalittlediversion.Butsincehis
meetingwithLaura,hehadtroubledecidingwhethertogetoutofbed
inthemorning,letalonedecidehowtofillthelongpointlesshours.
Thefreetimegivenhimhadbeenexactlywhathehadn'tneededright
now.

WhatIneedisforyoutobegonefromtheGalapagos,Laura.Then
everythingwillgetbacktonormal.

"HowsoonwillthePuffCloudbein?"heaskedthebartender,thinking
themanwasabittoonosyaboutthepeoplewhoworkedforWindjammer
ConnectionTours.

Thebartendershothimasurprisedglance."Shewasinanhourago.
Why?Youcrewingherlatertoday?"

"No.I'massignedtotheWindCloucShewon'tbesailinguntil
tomorrow."Heslidoffthebarstoolandslappedacoupleofbillson
thecounterforthedrinks."Domeafavor?WhenGwennBarkershows

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up,askhertocometomyroom."

Thebartendergrinned."Soshe'sthereasonyou'redrinking
doubles."

Zachdidn'tbothertoenlightenhimandheadedbacktohisroom.The
onlythingthatmatteredwasthatLaurahadleftEcuador;hecouldfind
outfromGwenn.Untilheknewshe'dflownout,hedidn'tdareshowhis
faceintown.Hemightrunintoher,whichwasthelastthinghe
wanted.Onemoremeetingwithherandhewouldn'tbeabletowalkaway
again.

Towardnoonheheardaknockonthedoor.Assoonasheopenedit,
Gwennsaid,"Hi,sailor.Youwantedtoseemeaboutsomething?"

"Ido.Comein."

"Idon'tthinkso.Icansmellthealcoholonyourbreath.Obviously
theonlyreasonyouwanttotalktomeisLauraDonetti."

"Gwenn,Iwashopingwecouldtalkforafewminutes."

"Thereisn'tanythingtosay,becauseLauraisn'there."

"Yousawhergetontheplane?"

"No.ImeanshesailedbackhereontheRiptidethesamedayyousaw
her.Ihaven'tseenhersinceandallIknowisthatshesaidshewas
leavingonthenextflightoutofhere.Sorry,"shesaidbefore
turningandwalkingoff.

Laurahasn'tbeenintheGaldpagosforthepasttendays?

Hefeltexactly,thewayhehadwhenhe'dbeensailingonthePacific
yearsagowithhisbrotherandasuddensquallhadsenttheboom
crashingthewrongway.He'dbeenknockedoverboard,unconscious.If
Richardhadn'tgrabbedhimandheldon,he'dhavebeenlostinthe
depthsofthesea.

Okay,Wilde,yougotexactlywhatyouwanted.YousentLauraDonetti
away,andnowshe'swellandtrulyoutofyourlife.Someotherman
whosawherfirstiseagerlyawaitingtheopportunitytogettoknow
herbetter.Sheandherunbornbabywillbewelltakencareof.It's
nothingtodowithyou

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Nowordsofloveeverpassedherlipsoryours.Bethankfulit'sa
cleanbreakYou'refreefromthepossibilityofeverhavingtoloseher
becauseshewasneveryourstobeginwith.It'stimetocelebrate.

"SoNOWTHATWE'VETALKEDyOUOUtofmovingtoHawaii,whycan'tweget
youtoevenconsiderrenting

Zach'scondo?"

LaurastirredrestlesslyinthepassengerseatofBev'scar.Theywere
parkedinfrontofthebongain-viilea-coveredhouseoverlookingthe
oceanwhereRichiewastakinghispianolesson.

Bev'sargumentagainstLaura'smovingtoHawaiiwasvalid.IfLaura
hadbeenemotionallyinvolvedwithMichaelsixyearsago,thenTony's
adventinherlifewouldn'thaveresultedinmarriage.Soitwouldn't
befairtogotoHawaiinowandraiseMichael'shopeswhenclearlynone
existed.

NotwhenI'mpainfullyinlovewith,Zach.ButIcouldn'tliveinhis
house.Itwouldtearmeapart.

"Theofferistempting,Bey,butmuchasI'dlovetoactonit,I
can't.Putyourselfinmyplace.CouldyouliveinRichard'shouseif
hewasnolongerinyourlife?"

Beysighedindefeat."Probablynot.Butit'sacryingshame,because
Zach'scondoisexactlywhatyou'vebeenlookingfor.Nothingyou've
foundisasclosetousorasideallysuitedtoyourneeds."

"That'strue,butifonedayZachdoeschangehismindandwantsto
comebacktoNewport,heshouldbeabletoreturntohisownhome.My
presencewouldkeephimaway."

"Ithinkyou'rewrong,"Beysaid."Ifhetrulywantedtogetridof
you,offeringyouhiscondowouldbethelastthinghe'ddo,wouldn't
it?Somaybehehadanotheragendaforsuggestingwhathedid.He

REBFX2CAWINTER

maybethousandsofmilesaway,butit'sapparenttomethathewants
youexactlywherehecanfindyouatanygivenmoment."

HerargumentmadeLaura'sheartrace,buteverytimesherememberedthe
toneinZach'svoicewhenhe'dtoldhergoodbye,shewasjoltedbackto

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reality.

"I--IwishIdared,butI'mtooafraidofdoingthewrongthing.I
thinkI'mgoingtorentthatapartmentwesawyesterday."

Bevgrimaced."It'snotwhatyouwant.It'stoosmallandnowhere
nearthebeach.I'vealreadytoldyouthatyoucanmoveintoourspare
bedroomuntilyoufindsomethingpermanent."

"No,Bey.Iwouldn'tdreamofdisruptingyourfamilylikethat.
Besides,theapartmentisnearthecollege,andIcanputaCribinthe
bedroomwithme."

"You'resostubborn!Well...whatkindofleaseagreementisit?"

"Oneyear."AtBev'sgroanshesaid,"Iknow.I'mnothappyaboutit,
either.IfIfindsomethingIreallylikebeforethetwelvemonthsare
up,I'llworryaboutbreakingitthen."

"Oh,well,sinceIcan'tchangeyourmindaboutZach'scondo,Ishould
bethankfulyou'removingtoNewportatall.TheothernightItold
RichardthatifyouwenttoHawaii,I'dbedevastated."

"Oh,Bev,Ifeelthesameway.That'swhyI'mmovinghere."

Itwastrue.Anunbearablesenseoflonelinesssweptoverherevery
timesheevensomuchasconsideredtheideaoflivingapartfromBey
andRichardandtheirchildren.

JustthenshesawRichieburstoutofthehouse.Hespottedthe
stationwagonandranovertoit."Laura!Mom!"heexclaimedthrough
theopenpassenger-sidewindow."Ididn'tknowyouguyswerecoming
here!"

"YourmothersuggestedwecomesoIcouldinviteyoutogototheball
gamewithmydadandsistertonight.Youcansleepoveratmy
parents',andI'llbringyoubacktomorrow.Wouldyoulikethat?"

"WouldI!"Helookedreadytoburstwithexcitement."Morn,isit
okay?"

"Ofcourse.That'swhywe'rehere.Stickyourbikeinthebackand
let'sgohome.I'vealreadyputyourtoothbrushandachangeof
clothesinyourbackpacksoyouandLauracangetawayassoonas
possible."

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"Allright!"

FifteenminuteslaterLaurahadsaidgoodbyetoBeyandsheandRichie
wereontheirway.

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"Thisisaradcar."

"It'saPassat.Youlikeit?"

"Yeah.UncleZachusedtohaveone.""Really?"

"Yeah.HesaysGermancarsarethebest,butDadonlybuysAmerican."
Hecockedhishead."RachelhasaposterofTonydrivingaFerrari.
Didyoueverrideinit?"

"No,"shesaidquietly."HeboughtitinEurope.Ineverdidsee
it."

"Where'sitnow?"

"Ihaditsold."

"Howcomeyoudidn'tkeepit?"

Oh,Richie.Ifyouonlyknew."BecauseIlike

Germancarsbest,justlikeyouruncle."

"ImissUncleZach."

"Sodo

I."

"Doyouthinkhe'llevercomehome?"

"Ihopeso,Riohie.""Youlovehim,huh?""'"Yes."

"Ithinkhe'supsetbecauseyou'regoingtohaveababy."

Sheblinked."Whydoyousaythat?"

"BecauseRosie'ssonhatedhim."

ThewordsmadeLauracringeforthepainZachhadbeenforcedto
suffer.

"Ababydoesn'tknowhowtohate.Ifmylittlegirlisluckyenoughto
bearoundyouruncle,she'dadorehim."

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Richieponderedthatforamoment."IfyoumarriedUncleZach,then
youcouldhavemorebabiesandthey'dhemycousins,right?"

"Yep,"shesaidsoftly."We'dallberelated.""Thatwouldbethe
best!"

Herheartfilledtooverflowing."Nomatterwhathappens,Richie
Wilde,we'llalwaysbefriends,won'twe?"

"Uh-huh."

"Youknowwhat7IthoughtIhadenoughgasto

RIB!(3CAWINTERS

theideaoflivingapartfromBevandRichardandtheirchildren.

JustthenshesawRiohieburstoutofthehouse.Hespottedthe
stationwagonandranovertoit."Laura!Mom!"heexclaimedthrough
theopenpassenger-sidewindow."Ididn'tknowyouguyswerecoming
here!"

"YourmothersuggestedwecomesoIcouldinviteyoutogototheball
gamewithmydadandsistertonight.Youcansleepoveratmy
parents',andI'llbringyoubacktomorrow.Wouldyoulikethat?"

"WouldI!"Helookedreadytoburstwithexcitement."More,isit
okay?"

"Ofcourse.That'swhywe'rehere,StickYourbikeinthebackand
let'sgohome.I'vealreadyputyourtoothbrushandachangeof
clothesinyourbackpacksoyouandLauracangetawayassoonas
possible."

"Allright!"

FifteenminuteslaterLaurahadsaidgoodbyetoBeyandsheandRichie
wereontheirway.

"Thisisaradcar."

"It'saPassat.Youlikeit?"

"Yeah.UncleZachusedtohaveone.""Really?"

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"Yeah.HesaysGermancarsarethebest,butDadonlybuysAmerican."
Hecockedhishead."RachelhasaposterofTonydrivingaFerrari.
Didyoueverrideinit?"

"No,"shesaidquietly."HeboughtitinEurope.Ineverdidsee
it."

"Where'sitnow?"

"Ihaditsold."

"Howcomeyoudidn'tkeepit?"

OhRichie.Ifyouonlyknew."BecauseIlike

Germancarsbest,justlikeyouruncle."

"ImissUncleZach."

"Sodo

I."

"Doyouthinkhe'llevercomehome?"

"Ihopeso,Richie.""Youlovehim,huh?""

"Yes."

"Ithinkhe'supsetbecauseyou'regoingtohaveababy."

Sheblinked."Whydoyousaythat?"

"BecauseRosie'ssonhatedhim."

ThewordsmadeLauracringeforthepainZachhadbeenforcedto
suffer.

"Ababydoesn'tknowhowtohate.Ifmylittlegirlisluckyenoughto
bearoundyouruncle,she'dadorehim."

Richieponderedthatforamoment."IfyoumarriedUncleZach,then
youcouldhavemorebabiesandthey'dbemycousins,right?"

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"Yep,"shesaidsoftly."We'dallberelated.""Thatwouldbethe
best!"

Herheartfilledtooverflowing."Nomatterwhathappens,Richie
Wilde,we'llalwaysbefriends,won'twe?"'

"Uh-huh."

"Youknowwhat?IthoughtIhadenoughgastogetusthere,butI'd
betternottakeachanceonrunningoutonthefreeway,sowe'regoing
tostopatthefirstplacewefind."

OntheoutskirtsofNewportshepulledupinfrontofthepumpsata
conveniencestore.Herswastheonlycarthere.

"CanIgetacandybar?"Richieasked.

"Sure.Telltheclerktoputitonmybill."

"Icanusemyallowance,butthanks,anyway."Whatawonderfulkid.
Laurawatchedhimfondlyashedisappearedinside.Shegotoutofthe
carandwentaroundtoputhercreditcardintheslot.Thenextthing
sheknew,shewasonthegroundanditfeltasifsomeonewasshaking
her.Glassshatteredbehindher.

Earthquake.

Thetremorwentonforendlessseconds,andLauraheardascreamand
thesoundofcrashescomingfromthestore.ShecriedoutRichie's
name,andwhenatlastthegroundstoppedmoving,shestaggeredtoher
feetanddashedtothestoreentryway.Toherhorrorshesawthatthe
windowonthedoorandtheplateglasswindowonthefrontwallhad
shattered.Inside,groceryitemslitteredthefloor.Themiddle-aged
femaleclerkstoodinthemidstofthedebris,pantinganddazed.

"Richie!"Laurashoutedagain,unfibletoseehimanywhere.

"I'minthewashroom!"

ThankGod."Areyouallright?"shecried.

"Yeah,butIcan'topenthedoor!"

Shemadeherwaygingerlythroughthemesstowardthemen'sroominthe
back.Mostoftheshelvinghadfallen,andonelargemetalcabinethad

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shiftedandnowlaydirectlyinfrontofthewashroomdoor.Itwas
openasfarasthecabinetallowed,andshecouldseeRichiethrough
thecrack.

"Areyoureallyokay,honey?"

"Yeah.Thatquakewasawesome.Areyouokay?"

"Oh,justabumponmyelbow,butI'mfine,especiallynowthatIknow
youdidn'tgethurt.WaitjustaminutewhileItrytomovethis
thing."

"I'llgettheotherend,"theclerkvolunteered.Togetherthetwoof
themmanagedtopushtheheavycabinetagoodteninchesfromthedoor.
RiohiesqueezedoutandwithinmomentswashuggingLaurafiercely.Over
hisdark-blondheadLauraaskedtheclerkifshewasallright.

"I'llmakeit,butIjustcheckedthephoneandit'sdead."'

"That'snotsurprising,"Lauramurmured."Ifyou'rereallyokay,I'm
goingtotryandgetRichiehome.Hisparemswillbefrantic."

"Sowillmyhusband.Hisworkisn'tfarfromhere.I'msurehe'll
comebeforelong."

Lauranodded."Good.Buttobesafe,let'sexchangenamesandphone
numbers.Whoevercangetthroughfirstforhelp,we'lldoit."

Whenthatwasaccomplished,sheput'herarmaroundRichie'sshoulders.
"Comeon,honey.Let'sgetgoing."

Notellinghowmanyofthestreetswereimpassable.Shewouldjust
havetoweaveherawayaroundandpraythey'dbeabletoreachBeyand
Richard'shousebeforetheaftershocksbegan.

ATNINETHATNIGHTZachwentoffduty.TomorrowtheWindCloudwould
putinatPuertoAyoraandhe'dhavetwodaysoffbeforethenext
cruise.Forty-eightendlesshourshecouldn'tbeartofacebecause
theygavehimtoomuchtimetothink,andthinkingonlysenthimona
downwardspiral.

Thelastninedaysofworkaboardtheyachthaddonenothingtolessen
hisdespondency.Insidehimwasagreatyawningemptiness,robbinghim
ofthesmallestpleasure.Eventhethoughtofsailingtheboathe
plannedtobuyinanothercoupleofweeksmeantlessthannothingto

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him.

Upuntilthemomenthe'dconfrontedLauraaboardthePuffCloud,he'd
hadtheideathathecouldcarryouthisplantogointothesailing
businessforhimself,ifnotintheGalipagos,thensomeotherplace.
ButtheunsettlingnewsthatLaurahadslippedawayunbeknownsttohim
seemedtohavedrainedhimofthatdesireoranyother.Hefeltasif
alllifehadbeensuckedoutofhim.

Alarmedbyhismorbidstateofmind,hestartedforhiscabin.

Pausingmidstep,heturnedtoseeScanMcClintock,

thecaptainoftheWindCloud,headedinhisdirection."I'mgladI
caughtyoubeforeyouwenttobed."

"Isthereaproblem?"

"Wejustreceivedwordovertheradiothatamajorearthquakehit
SouthernCaliforniaaboutthreehoursago.Therewasamassivetidal
wave,too,andcasualtiesaxemounting.YouhavefamilytheresoI
thoughtyou'dwanttoknow."

Zachwasjerkedforonceoutoftheimmobilizingbleaknessofhissoul.
"Doyouhaveanyideawhichareawashardesthit?"

"IheardsomethingabouttheepicenterbeingnearCostaMesainOrange
County."

"CostaMesaisonlyafewmilesnorthofNewport."Hiswordswere
calm,buthisinsideswereinturmoilaspicturesofthepeoplehe
lovedflashedthroughhismind.AndLaura.WherewasLaura?Hadshe
gonetoHawaiiorwasShestillinCalifornia?BeyandRichardadored
her.Iftheyhadanythingtosayaboutit,she'dbeensconcedinhis
condorightnow.DearGod.Ifanythinghappenedtoherorthebaby.
Scangrippedhisshoulder."Comeon.You'rewelcometolistentoany
reportsovertheyachtradioandtrytomakecontactwithsomeonewho
cangiveyoudetails."

Unfortunately,aftersettlinginthepilothouse,Zachonlyheardthe
samenewsrepeatedatintervalsthroughouttherestofthenight:phone
servicehadbeeninterruptedinthehardest-hitareas;anyonewanting
informationaboutrelativescouldphoneaspecialnumbersetupbythe
RedCross.Itwasthenewshedidn'thearthatcausedonehorrifying
scenarioafteranothertorunthroughhismind.Bydawnhisanxiety

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hadreacheditspeak.Thecaptaintookonelookathimandsaid,"As
soonaswedock,youhavemypermissiontotakethefirstplaneoutof
Baltra."

"Thanks,Scan.Ihatelettingyouorthecompanydown,but"

"Don'tworryaboutit,"Scanbrokein."Someoneelsewillalwaysbe
happytocrewinyourplace,butyoucanneverreplacefamily."

HiswordspiercedZachlikeaknife.

"You'reoneofthefinestsailorsI'veeverhadthepleasureofworking
with,"thecaptainadded."NateSimondsagreeswithme.We'dhateto
loseyou.BUtit'sobviousyou'vebeengoingthroughsomesortof
personalhellwhileyou'vebeenouthere.Coupledwiththenewsof
thisdisaster,Idon'tseethatyouhaveachoiceexcepttogohome.
Otherwiseyou'llneverhavepeaceofmind."

Zachknewthis,thoughhe'dfailedtoacknowledgeitbeforehearing
abouttheearthquake.Nowhecouldn'tgetbacktoCaliforniafast
enough.

"You'reright,Sean.Iwon't."Herakedshakinghandsthroughhis
hair."AssoonasIreachQuito,I'llcontacttheheadofficeand
explainmysituation."

"Youcandothatnowandmakeareservationforyourflighttothe
Statesatthesametime."

TWELVEHOURSLATERZachwasheadingnorthfromtheSanDiegoairportin
arentalcar.He'dpurposelyavoidedflyingtotheairportinL.A.
becausehewantedtoavoidwhathewassurewouldbechaos.Thisdrive
wasmuchlonger,butintheendhe'dgettoNewportfaster.

Everyradiostationcarriedthesamenews.CostaMesahadbeenhardest
hit,withseveredamagetooceanfrontpropertyandmarinasstretching
asfarnorthasSunsetBeachandasfarsouthasCoronaDelMar.
Fatalitieswereinthehundreds.Damagetoboatsandwaterfrontswere
estimatedtobeinthemillions.

Hecringedwhenheheardthatmajorsectionsofthecoastalhighway
fromHuntingtontoNewportBeachwereclosedduetodamage.Following
thatreportwasanannouncementthatthegovernorhadjustdeclareda
stateofemergencyandwasdeployingNationalGuardunits.

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Zachtookitallinwithasickeningsenseofdread.Allthepeople
he'devercaredabout--hisparents,hisbrothersandtheir
families--livedinNewport.AndmaybeLaura,too.Hecouldonlypray
shehadgonetoHawaii.

Whenhe'dfirstarrivedinSanDiegoandwaswaitingforhisrental
car,he'dtriedreachingeveryone,includingLaura'sparentsin
Hollywood,buthadn'tbeenabletogetthrough.Allhecoulddowas
callalocalnumberforemergencyservicesandgivethemthenames.
He'dbeentolditmightbetwelvehoursbeforetheyhadanyinformation
theycouldpassontoinginformationaboutrelativescouldphonea
specialnumbersetupbytheRedCross.ItwasthenewshedMn'thear
thatcausedonehorrifyingscenarioafteranothertorunthroughhis
mind.Bydawnhisanxietyhadreacheditspeak.Thecaptaintookone
lookathimandsaid,"Assoonaswedock,youhavemypermissionto
takethefirstplaneoutofBaltra."

"Thanks,Sean.Ihatelettingyouorthecompanydown,but"

"Don'tworryaboutit,"Seanbrokein."Someoneelsewillalwaysbe
happytocrewinyourplace,butyoucanneverreplacefamily."

HiswordspiercedZachlikeaknife.

"You'reoneofthefinestsailorsI'veeverhadthepleasureofworking
with,"thecaptainadded."NateSimondsagreeswithme.We'dhateto
loseyou.Bt/tit'sobviousyou'vebeengoingthroughsomesortof
personalhellwhileyou'vebeenouthere.Coupledwiththenewsof
thisdisaster,Idon'tseethatyouhaveachoiceexcepttogohome.
Otherwiseyou'llneverhavepeaceofmind."

Zachknewthis,thoughhe'dfailedtoacknowledgeitbeforehearing
abouttheearthquake.Nowhecouldn'tgetbacktoCaliforniafast
enough.

"You'reright,Sean.Iwon't."Herakedshakinghandsthroughhis
hair."AssoonasIreachQuite,I'llcontacttheheadofficeand
explainmysituation,"

"Youcandothatnowandmakeareservationforyourflighttothe
Statesatthesametime."

TWELVEHOURSLATERZachwasheadingnorthfromtheSanDiegoairportin
arentalcar.He'dpurposelyavoidedflyingtotheairportinL.A.
becausehewantedtoavoidwhathewassurewouldbechaos.Thisdrive

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wasmuchlonger,butintheendhe'dgettoNewportfaster.

Everyradiostationcarriedthesamenews.CostaMesahadbeenhardest
hit,withseveredamagetooceanfrontpropertyandmarinasstretching
asfarnorthasSunsetBeachandasfarsouthasCoronaDelMar.
Fatalitieswereinthehundreds.Damagetoboatsandwaterfrontswere
estimatedtobeinthemillions.

Hecringedwhenheheardthatmajorsectionsofthecoastalhighway
fromHuntingtontoNewportBeachwereclosedduetodamage.Following
thatreportwasanannouncementthatthegovernorhadjustdeclareda
stateofemergencyandwasdeployingNationalGuardunits.

Zachtookitallinwithasickeningsenseofdread.Allthepeople
he'devercaredabout--hisparents,hisbrothersandtheir
families--livedinNewport.AndmaybeLaura,too.Hecouldonlypray
shehadgonetoHawaii.

Whenhe'dfirstarrivedinSanDiegoandwaswaitingforhisrental
car,he'dtriedreachingeveryone,includingLaura'sparentsin
Hollywood,buthadn'tbeenabletogetthrough.Allhecoulddowas
callalocalnumberforemergencyservicesandgivethemthenames.
He'dbeentolditmightbetwelvehoursbeforetheyhadanyinformation
theycouldpassontohim.Inthatamountoftimehewouldalready
havereachedhisdestinationandwouldknowthesituationfirsthand.

Usingalternativeroutes,hedroveintoNewportalittleaftertwoin
themorningandheadedstraightforhisparents'house.Theyweren't
there,andoneof'theircarswasmissing,buteverythinglookedgood.
Hedidn'tnoticeanydamage.TheircallerIDshowedtheyhadn'tbeen
gettingtheirmessagesforthepastthreedays.Theywereprobablyout
oftown.Thatshouldhaverelievedhim,butitdidn't.

Hedrovetohisyoungerbrother'scondoseveralblocksaway.Noone
washomethere,either,andoneoftheircarswasmissing.Their
answeringmachinehadafewmessages,butZachcouldn'tascertaintimes
ordates.Againeverythingseemedallrightstructurally.

Whereiseveryone?Onatrip?

Hedidn'twanttothinktheotherpossibility,that.theymightallbe
overatRichard's,whosehousewasonaprivatecanalleadingtothe
marina.Thedamagewouldhavebeenthegreatestthere.

OnimpulsehelefttherentalcarinMike'sdrivewayandtookofffor

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themarinaonMike'sbike.Ashehadlearnedbetterthananyone,a
bicyclecouldgoany-where--andgetpastpolicebarricadesif
necessary.

NoonewasgoingtopreventhimfromreachingRichardandBev's.Not
onlydidtheymeantheworldtohim,theywerehisonlylinkto
Laura.

"L^up.A?"

Shewhirledaround,milkglassinhand,thinkingshewastheonly
personawakeintheWildehousehold."Hi,honey.Couldn'tyousleep,
either?"

Richieshookhishead."Ikeepwaitingforanotheraftershock."

Laurashuddered."SodoI."

"I'mgladyou'reup.MysistersareinbedwithMoreandDadand
they'reallasleep."

Shesmiledathimandruffledhishair."Wantsomemilk?"

"No,thanks."

"Doyouwanttocomebacktobedwithme?""CanI?"

"Areyoukidding?Bringyourbaseballcardsandwe'llseewhowins.
I'veimprovedsinceourlastgameinFrance."

RichielefttheSpanish-styledkitchenatarun.Laurarinsedher
glass,thenreachedforthemakeshifticepack.

Herelbowwasthrobbingandswollen.Shedidn'tdaretakeany
painkillersuntilshe'dcheckedwithherobstetrician.Butthank
heavenitwasherelbow,notthebaby,thathadtakenthebruntofthe
impact.Sootherthanabruisebelowherrightknee,shecouldn't
reallycomplain.Nevertheless,ifherelbowdidn'tstarttoimprovein
thenextfewdays,she'dhavetoseeadoctoraboutit.

Afterturningoffthelight,shetiptoedthroughthehouseandhurried
upthewidestaircasetotheupperlevel.Richiewaswaitingforher
intheguestbedroom,hisboxofbaseballcardsattheready.

Nosoonerweretheysittingcross-leggedfacingeachotherontopof

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thecoverswhentheyheardanominouscreak.Richie'sfacePaled.
"Anothertremor'sstarting."

"Maybe,"Laurasaidcalmly."Let'splay,anyway.Myturntoaska
questionfirst.WhatyeardidMickeyMantin''

"Thereitgoesagain,"Richiesaid.

Shegavearesignedsigh."Idon'tthinkit'satremor.Morelike
someonewalkingaround.Probablyyourdad."

"Doyouthink?"

"Ido.Okay,here'sthequestionagain.Whatyeardidm"

"UncleZach!"

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

RICHIE'SJOYFULCRYwouldhavewokenthedead.Heflewoffthebedto
greettheuncleheidolized,knockingthecardstothefloor.Laura's
eyesdartedtothedoorwaywherestoodanachinglyfamiliarmanin
hip-huggingjeansandaT-shirt.

Zach.Shemouthedhisnamesilentlyastheirgazesmetandlockedover
Richie'shead.Withinsecondsthehousewasfilledwithshrieksof
excitementandjoyastheentirefamilyconvergedontheguestbedroom.
Laura'seyesfilledwithtearsasshewatchedRichardgrabhisbrother
andcrushhiminahug.Beywasnext,andthensheexplainedthathis
parentswereinSanFrancisco,andMikeandhiswifeandbabywere
visitingherparentsinSacramento,sotherewasnoneedtoworryabout
anyone'ssafety.

Lauraclimbedoffthebed,makingsurethebeltofherlimegreenterry
bathrobewasfastenedoverhernightgown.She'dblossomedalotinthe
pastfewweeks,andjudgingbythewayZachlookedather,thechanges
inhershapewerereadilyapparent.

"ThankGodeveryoneisallright,"hesaidasRobinsqueezedhimfor
allshewasworth."Weheardthenewsabouttheearthquakeoverthe
yacht'sradio.IlefttheGalfipagosonthefirstflightoutof
Baltra."

Robinstayedinhisarmsandpattedhisburnishedface."Ourswimming
poolhasahugecrackinit,andwaterranovertheedgeandruinedthe

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flowersMommyjustplanted."

"Yeah,andyourcondokindagotruined,UncleZach,"Rachelblurted,
despiteRichard'sattempttoshushher.

Zach'seyeshadn'tleftLaura's."Aslongasnoonewasinit,it
doesn'tmatter."

Sheclearedherthroat."RiohieandIwereonourwaytoabaseball
gameinmycarwhenthequakehit."

"Yeah...Itwasscary,UncleZach.Igotbarricadedinthegas-station
washroomandLaurahadtopushthishugethingouttatheway.She'sa
reallycooldriver,too,andhasaPassat,justlikeyou."

"Hmm.Isawitinthedrivewayandwonderedwhoseitwas,"hisuncle
said.

"Shegotusbackhomelikeashot.Ibetshecouldhandleanything,
evenaFormulaOneracingcar!"

"Richie,"Laurasaidwarningly,herface

"thatwassupposedtobeoursecret."

Thefamilyburstintolaughter.Inthefaceofunrepentanthilarity,
Laurashookherheadandin.

"Bynowyououghttoknowtherearenothishouse,"Zachsaid."After
theTourdeFrancethoughtI'dpickedaspotwherenoonecouldfind
onlytodiscoverthatallalongmycleversister-in-lawknewexactly
whereI'dgone."

AfurtherburstoflaughterfromBey,whostilllookedtooyoungtobe
themotherofthreeandexpectingherfourth.ButLauracouldn'thelp
feelingalittlenervousbecause,afterall,she'dbeentheoneto
followhimwhenhehadn'twantedtobefollowed.

Still,ifhewasangry,itdidn'tshow.Atleasthewasn'tallowingit
toshowinfrontofhisfamily.

"Comeon,guys,"Richardsaidfinally."Everyonebacktobed.Your
unclehasjustflownthousandsof.

milesandneedshisrest.Girls,yougoinwithyourmother.Richie,

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I'msleepingwithyou."

"That'sokay,Dad.LaurasaidIcouldstaywithher.

We'regonnahaveacontest."

"Thatcanwaituntiltomorrow."

"But"

"Nobuts,son."Richard'ssternvoicesurprisedevenLaura.

"Allright,"Richiemutteredcrossly.Hebegangatheringthespilled
cards.

Lauraleanedovertohelphim."T!Iplaywithyouinthemorning,"she
whispered.

"You'rethegreatest!"Hegaveherahug,thenflunghisarmsaround
Zachonemoretimebeforedisappearing.

Asabruptlyastheroomhadfilled,itemptied,leavingatrembling
Lauraa/onewiththemanwho'dbecomeherwholeworld.Butshewasn't
abouttodeludeherselfthathe'dcomebacktoCaliforniabecauseof
her,notwhenhisgoodbyeonthePuffCloudhadbeensofinal.

"I'msorryyouhadtofindmehere,"shesaid."Becauseofthe
aftershocks,RichardinsistedIstaytheni"

"Isthisyours?"hebrokeinwithoutapology,scoopinghermakeshift
icebagfromthefloor.

"Oh"-herhandsmadeanimpotentgesture"---it'snothing."

Hisgazeflickedtohers,hisexpressionsober."Ifthatwasthecase,
youwouldn'thavefoundaneedforthis."Heheldupthebag."Show
mewhereyou'vebeenhurt."

Shetookastepback."It'snothing.Really."

"Letmesee."Hecamecloser.Hisnearnessconstrictedherbreathing.
"YouandRiohiewerecaughtbythequake.He'sobviouslyfine,but
you'renot.Whathappened?"

Somethinginhisstance,hisdemeanor,toldherhewasn'tabouttolet

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itgo.

"Whenthegroundshook,Ifellandlandedonmyelbow."

Hisbrowsknit."I'vedonethatmorethanonceonmybike.Letmesee
howbaditis."

Terrifiedtobethiscloseforfearshewouldn'tbeabletoresist
reachingoutandtouchinghim,shebackedupallthewaytothebed.To
herconsternation,therewasnoplaceelsetogo.

BCAWINTERS

"Takeoffyourrobe,Laura,orI'!1removeitforyou.""Please,
no..."'

Herresistanceonlymadehimmoredetermined.Withoutconscious
thoughtZachfoundhimselfuntyingherbelt.Beneaththecotton
nightgownhefeltthehardnessofherenlargedbellywithasenseof
wonder.

Afaintcitrusscentemanatedfromher.Thisclose,herwarmthcaught
athissenses,kindlingtheachethathadnevergoneawaysincethe
firstmomenthe'dseenherstandinginthedoorwayofhishotelroomin
Belgium.Asheslippedtherobeoffhershoulders,heleanedcloser,
lettingtheblackglisteningcurlsofherhair,softasbutterfly
wings,brushagainsthisunshavenjaw.

Compelledbyanurgehenolongerhadthepowertocontrol,heskimmed
hishandsdownherarms,unabletocreditthatLauraDonetti,the
phantomloverofhisdreams,stoodbeforehimintheflesh,vitaland
trembling.

Hewassoentrancedheforgotthereasonherrobehadcomeoffinthe
firstplace.Thatis,untilhisfingersinadvertentlyfoundthetender
areaaroundherrightelbow.Thoughthepressurewaseversoslight,
itelicitedawince.

"Forgivemeforhurtingyou,"camethehuskyapologyashecarefully
examinedherinjury.Allthetimehewastouchingher,hecouldsense
thebloodcoursingthroughherveins.Itseemedtomatchthewildrush
ofhisown.

"You'renot,"shesaid,liftingherfacetohis.Thatlovelyface
whosefeatureshe'dimaginedexploringwithhislipsoverandover

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againinthesolitudeofhisemptybed.

"Youhavetoomuchmobilityforittobebroken,"hemurmured,"but
it'llbesoreforawhile."

"That'swhatIthought."Shesoundedbreathless.

Theefforttospeakappearedasdifficultforherasforhim.

Onlynowdidherecognizethedifferencebetweenfantasyandreality.
Dreamshadawayofobscuringdetails--likethefaintfrecklesonher
nose,thelaughterlinesaroundherheavilylashedeyes.

Thiswasnodream.Whenhegazedintothoseliquidbrownirises,he
sawthatsamelookofnervousnessandvulnerabilityhe'dseenin
Belgium.Hesawsomethingelse.Fearofhim,maybe?Why?

"Don'tyouknowIwouldneverintentionallyhurtyou.9''

"Iknow."Herbreathseemedtobecominginpants.Thebeguiling
curveofhermouthwasonlyawhisperaway.

HermoutlItwasallhecouldthinkabout.

"Iwanttokissyou,Laura.Ihavetokissyou.""Zach..."

Ifcryinghisnamewasanattempttostophim,ithadcometoolate.He
couldnomoredenythedesiredrivinghimthanhecoulddenytheairhe
breathed.

Whenhismouthclosedhungrilyoverhers,Lauraalmostfaintedfromtoo
muchfeeling.She'dbeenprayingforthisday,longingforthis
moment.Zachcouldhavenoinklingofthedepthofherloveorher
desire.

She'dpromisedherselfthatifheeverreachedout,shewouldrespond
slowly,carefully,soasnottofrightenhimoff.

Whatajoke!Howdelusionalcouldshehavebeen?Thewayshewas
kissinghimback,you'dhavethoughtshewasalovesickteenagercaught
upintheout-of-controlpassionoffirstlove.

Laurawasjustlikethat.Outofcontrol.Sheknewshewas,butshe
couldn'tstopwhatwashappening,couldn'tstopherresponsetohim.
Zach'skisswentonandon.Shewantedittogoonforever.

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Hersubconsciousfearthathewouldregretthismomentarylapsemade
herloseallinhibitions.Shepressedherbodycloserandwoundher
fingersintohishair.Shepulledherlipsfromhisandmovedthem
withrestlessintensityovertheruggedfeaturesofhisface.

"DearGod,Laura..."hegroaned,thenurgedherwithhimontothebed.
Hervoluptuousbodyfelthottothetouch.Hisinsatiableneedforher
drovehimtokisstheperfumedsatinofherskineverywherethecotton
nightgowndidn'tcover.

Shebroughthimsomuchpleasureitwasalmostpain.Hergorgeouslong
legsintertwinedwithhis,lockingthemtogether.Hermouthwas
anothermiracle,likeanendlessfountwherehecoulddrinklongand
deeply.

Helovedthehealthyebonysheenofhershortcurls.

Everyinchofherhairandbodysmelledlikeflowers.Thefirsttime
he'deverlaideyesonher,he'dthoughthertheultimateof
femininity.Thethoughthadonlyintensified.

"Doyouhaveanyideahowbeautifulyouare?"hesaidintothescented
hollowofherneck.

"Iwasthinkingthesamethingaboutyou,"sheconfessedasherhands
roamedoverhisT-shirt-cladchestandbroadshoulders."Bevtoldme
youhaveVikingbloodinyourancestry.Iftheseweredaysofoldand
you'dcometokidnapmeandtakemeawayinyourlongboat,Iwouldhave
gonewillingly."

Hecrushedhermouthbeneathhisagain,electrifiedbyhernearness,by
herbreathtakingresponse.Laurawasdifferentfromanywomanhe'd
everknown.Shehadthisamazingabilitytogiveherbodyandher
soul,holdingnothingback.Itwasarevelationtohim.

"Willingornot,"hewhisperedagainstherlips,"Iwouldhavethrown
youovermyshoulderandclaimedyouformyself."

ThefiercenessofhistonethrilledLaura.Sheinchedcloser."I
wouldn'thavewantedanyonetocomeafterusandrescueme."

"YouthinkIwouldhaveletthem?"Hisvoicewasgruff.

"Maybe...afteryou'dgrownboredofthedistraction."Heatstormed

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hercheeks."Asyou'velearnedforyourself,I'mafraidI'mnotyour
typicaldemuremaiden,shyandunsure."

Heroseupononeelbow."YoureallythinkIcouldbeheldbysucha
woman?"

"Idon'tknow,"sheansweredhonestly.Somehowtheirlovemakinghad
becomesomethingelse.Shebegantofeeluneasyabouttheseriousturn
theirconversationwastaking."

Talkingonlycomplicatedeverything.Shedidn'twanttotalk,butwhen
shetriedtobringhermouthtohisagain,hestoppedherbypinning
hershouldertothemattresswithhisfreehand.

"Comeon.Explainwhatyoumean."Thesteelinhisvoicealarmed
her.

Shesuckedinabreath."YouandIsaidourgoodbyesbackinthe
Galpagos.Ifthere'dbeennoearthquake,youwouldn'tbeherenow,
compelledtodealwithmypresence."

"Compelled.*"

Herbrowsknitdelicately."DidRichardleaveyouanychoicewhenhe
orderedeveryoneelsetobed?"

"SincechildhoodmybrotherandIhavecommunicatedwithoutwords.
Richarddidexactlytherightthing--heknewIwantedtobealonewith
you."

Shecouldfeelhissearchinggaze,butavertedhereyesforfearhe'd
readtoomuchinthem."Incaseyouwerewishingyouhadn'toffered
it,Ineverconsideredbuyingyourcondo,Zach."

Hisruthlesssilencepromptedhertokeepontalking,whichshe
did---fasterandfaster.

"RichardandBevbeggedmetoatleastrentit,but

ItoldthemthatifyouevercamebacktoNewport,youwouldwantto
returntoyourownhome."

Shefelthishandtightenalmostpainfullyonhershoulder.Hecould
havenoideaofhisstrength,yetshewelcomeditbecausethe
unconsciousgestureprovedhewasn'tindifferenttoher.

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"Tmgladyouputmyneedsfirst,"hesaid."Otherwise,considering
whatthequakedidtomycondo,youcouldbenursingmorethanan
injuredelbow."

Inthenextinstanthebenthisheadtokisshershoulderwherehis
handhadbeen."SowhenareyouleavingforHawaii?"hemurmured
againsthersensitizedskin.

Shecouldn'tthink,notwhenhismouthwasinchingclosertohers."I
decideditwasn'tagoodidea,afterall."Thewordscameoutso
faintlyandtremulouslyshewasn'tcertainhe'devenheardthem.

Hehad."You'reright,"hesaidinasilkywhisper,buryinghisface
inherhair."Sowhat'syourplan?"

Withathuddingheartshesaid,"There'sanapartmentcomplexherein
Newp"

"Whichone?"hecutin,bmshinghercheekwithhislips.

"TheRiviera."

"It'stoofarfromthebeach,butitwilldoaswellasanyplaceelse
untilthecondo'srepaired."

"No,Zach.I'vealreadytoldyouI'mnotmovingintoyourhome."

Aftergentlybitingherearlobehesaid,"Ithoughtyouwantedme
aroundtohelpyouraiseyourdaughter.Hasthatidealostallits
appealsinceyouleftEcuador?"

Confused,Lauratriedtositup,buthishardbodykeptherpinned.
"Youknowithasn't,butyoumadeitcleartomeyouweren'treturning
toCalif"

"Earthquakeshaveawayofputtingaman'sprioritiesinorder.Iowe
Tony--notonlyforbaitinghimwithoutmercy,butforthegreatersin
ofcovetinghiswife.Sinceyou'rewilling,I'mpreparedtomake
restitution,providedwegetmarriedimmediately.Anythingless
wouldn'tdo."

Lauracouldn'tpreventthegaspthatescapedherthroat.

Beforeshe'dgonetotheGalipagos,herPlantowinZach'slovehad

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beenbasedfirstonappealingtohimtobeafathertoherbaby.At
thetimeshe'dthoughtitagoodidea.Itseemedherplanhadfinally
succeeded,buttheresultsweretearingherapart--becauseshe'd
forgottenonethingZach'snotinlovewithyouRememberyour
conversationwithBey?

ThelovelyRosieArmstrongwasthewomanwhowouldalwaysholdZach's
heart.

"Thinkaboutit,"hesaid,"andletmeknowinthemorning."

Andthenhegaveherahardkissandleveredhimselffromthebed.

Hergazefollowedhisretreatingbackuntilthedoorclosedbehind
him.

WhatamIgoingtodo?

Sheburiedherfaceinherhands,shattered.

Thenexthourpassedlikeaneternity.Shefeltfeverish.Inthis
anxiety-ladenstate,itwouldn'tbelongbeforeshewasreallysick.

Zachhadtoldhertogivehimheranswerinthemorning.

Butyoualreadyknowtheanswer,LaurmYouhavenoshamewherehe's
concerned.Admitit.Gotohimnowandtellhimthetruth.

Bareyoursoul

Ifhestillwantstomarryyouknowingyoulovehim,thensobeit.At
leastwe'llbothknowexactlywherewestanWe'llhavehonesty.That's
morethanalotofcoupleshave.

Hermindmadeup,shegotoffthebedandreachedforherrobe.Then
shetiptoedoutoftheroom.

Hewasprobablyasleeponthepulloutcouchdownstairs.Itwouldbe
crueltowakehimupafterhislongflight,butthiscouldn'twait.If
shedidn'ttellhimnow,shemightnotbeabletofindthecouragein
themorning.

Thelargefamilyroomoffthekitchenwasherfavoriteplaceinthe
Wildehousehold.Besidesbooksandgames,therewasanoldplayer
pianoeveryoneenjoyed.Lauraparticularlylovedthecomfy

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furniture.

Theaquariuminonecornergaveoffenoughlightforhertodistinguish
shapesinthedarkness.Hergazesoughtthecouch,expectingtosee
Zach'sstretchedfromendtoend.

"You'relookinginthewrongplace."

Shewheeledaroundinsurprise.Zaeh,stilldressed,

stoodinthedoorway."Whyaren'tyouinbed?"sheasked.

"Whyaren'tyou?"

Zachhadawayofknockingheroffbalance."Ihaven'tjustflownin
fromEcuador.Youmustbeexhausted!"

"IfIam,mybodydoesn'tknowityet.I'vebeenoutsideinspecting
thedamagetotheswimmingpool.Richard'sluckyhishouseisstillin
onepiece.Luckierstillthateveryoneissafe."

"Icouldn'tagreemore,"shesaidquietly."Isyourelbowkeepingyou
awake?"

"No."

Therewassomethingaboutthemiddleofthenightthatcreatedintimacy
andmadeitdifficulttolieaboutanything.

Nervousandfrightenedoftheoutcome,sherubbedmoistpalmsagainst
thesideofherrobe."Ineedtotalktoyou,butIwasafraidIwould
havetowakeyoufirst."

"I'mlistening."

Isn'tthiswhatyouwanted,Laura?

"Allright.I'veonlytoldyouoneuntruthsincewe'veknowneach
other.No,that'snotexactlytrue.I'vetoldtwountruths,"she
blurted,thenmoanedbecauseithadcomeoutallwrong."That'snot
exactlytrue,either."Shefidgetedwiththeendsofherbelt."Since
TonydiedI'vebeenkeepingsomethingfromyou."hervoiceshookand
I'vebeenhatingmyselfforiteversince.Ishouldhavejustbeen
honestwhenyoucametothecabinonthePuffCloubut..."

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"Fortheloveofheaven,Laura,"hesaidimpatiently,"justsayit.You
thinkIdon'tknowthatdeepdownyoucouldnevermarrymebecause
you'veneverstoppedlovingyourhusbandnomatterwhathedidto
you?"

"No,Zach!"shecriedinhorror,becausehewassowrong.Sovery
wrong."Thatisn'twhatI'mtryingtotel"

"Don'tdenyit,"hewarned,sendingathrillofalarmthroughherbody.
"Iwitnessedyourdevotiontohim,sawitinadozendifferentways,
remember?ButtheproofwasinyoureyesthenightIaccompaniedyou
toyourhotelroomafterTonydied."

Herheartturnedoverjustrememberingthatmomentshe'dalmost
committedtheunpardonableandinvitedhiminside.

"Doyoureallyneedmetospellitoutforyou?"

"Ido.Whatisityouthinkwasgoingoninsideme?"

SomethinginhertonemusthavealertedZach,becauseshesensedhis
hesitation,ararethingforhim.

"Youwereinsomuchpainyoudidn'twantorneedanybody."

"You'reright,"shesaid."Yousawpain.Excruciatingpain.Perhaps
nowyouhavesomeideaofwhatitcostmenotoaskyoutospendthe
nightwithme."

Eveninthedimlightoftheroom,sheperceivedhisshock.Therewas
anelectricsilence.Thetimetotellallhadcome.

"I'mfarfromperfect,Zach.Maybeyou'llunderstandwhyIunderwent
therapyaftertheTourde

Francewasover."

"Therapy?"

"Yes.IknewthatifIdidn'ttalktoaprofessionalaboutmyguilt
overwantingyou,I'dbeendangeringmyhealthandultimatelythe
baby's.I'mnotproudofwhatI'mabouttotellyou,butithastobe
saidbecauseit'sthetruth.

"Ifellinlovewithyou,Zach."Hervoicecaught."Ithappenedafter

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youansweredthehotel-roomdoorandintroducedyourselfasTony's
roommate.Whenyouaskedmetocomeinandwaitforhim,alittle
voicewarnedmethis.waswrong,toldmeIshouldrunawayandnot
lookback.ButIchosetoignoreit.That'showfastandhow...
naturallyithappened."

Sheheardalowgroan.Itcouldhavemeantanything,butshe'dstarted
thisandhadtofinishiL"I'matalosstoexplainhoworwhy.AllI
cantellyouisthat...mylifechangedthatday.

"InthebeginningIliedtomyself.ItoldmyselfIwasonlyattracted
toyoubecauseyouweresokindtome.Irationalizedthatmypitiful
marriagehadmademevulnerabletoanydecentman'sattentions.But
whenyouphonedmefromthehospitaltotellmeaboutKlaus,Ihadto
admitthatmyfeelingsforyouwentfarbeyondanythingremotely
resemblinggratitude.

"Asterribleasthissounds,Ididn'twanttohangup.Iwantedour
conversationtogoonandon.Iwantedtobegyoutocomebacktothe
hotelandbewithme."

Shepausedtodrawadeepshudderingbreath."Themorecircumstances
separatedus,themoremyfeelingsforyougrew.BythetimeI'd
finishedsheddingmytearsforTony,Ihadtofacethetruth.Iloved
you.Myheart,mysoulknewit.Andsodidmybody."

LauraheardZachgroanagain.Inadmittingthetruthsherisked
everything,evenhisrevulsion.Butithadtobesaid.

"Whenyouwalkedmetomyhotelroomthatnight,Istragglednotto
breakdownandinviteyouin.IfearedwhatyouwouldthinkofmeifI
did."Shepausedoncemore."DoyouunderstandwhatI'msaying?"she
cried,barelyholdingontoheremotions."Onlyafewhoursbefore,
Tonyhadcollapsedanddied!AndthereIwas,wantingyouinallthe
waysawomancouldeverwantaman."

Tearsrolleddownherhotcheeks."Iwasconvincedtherehadtobe
somethingwrongwithme,somethingevil.HowcouldIwantyouwhenthe
bodyofthemanI'dpromisedbeforeGodtoloveandhonorhadn'teven
beenburied?"

Shechoked.downasob."Thisgetsworse.Onlyonethingprevented
mefrombeggingyoutostaythenight,Tomyshame,itwasn'tGod.It
wasRosieArmstrong."

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Atthesoundofhisex-fiancee'sname,shesawZachrecoil.Proof,as
farasshewasconcerned,thathe'dgiveneverythingtoRosie.There
couldbenomore.

"Beytoldmeallabouther,thatshewasthegreatloveofyourlife,
soit'spointlessforyoutodenyit."

"Iwasn'taboutto."

Youknewthiscouldbackfireonyou,butyoudidn'tknowhowagonizing
itwasgoingtobe.

Headbowed,shemurmured,"EvenRichieletmeknowhowmuchherson's
jealousyofyoubroughtyougrief."

Finishit.Justfinishi'It'sobvioustomeandeveryoneelseyou've
nevergottenoverher.Iknowwhatthatkindofloveislike,because
it'sthesamekindofloveIfeelforyou.Theforeverkind.It
defiestimeand.andlogic.Itdrovemetolietoyouinthe
Galipagosaboutnotwantingtobemarried.IthoughtI'dbecleverand
pretendmarriagedidn'tmattertomeaslongasyou'dletmestayin
yourlife,inwhatevercapacityyouchose.Butfromthebeginning,I
fantasizedaboutwhatitwouldbeliketoreallybelongtoyou,tohave
yourbaby."

Sheliftedherchin."Buttherapytaughtmemanythings.Likethe
factI'dbeeninmourningmywholemarriageandhaddonemostofmy
grievinglongbeforeTonydied.ThusthereasonIwasreadytoget
intoanewrelationship.

"Therapyalsohelpedmeunderstandthatit'sunhealthytolivewith
guiltandsecrets.Intheend,youfindyou'veonlydestroyed
yourself.

"That'swhyIdecidedI'dbettertellyouallthistonight.I'mnot
abouttohangaroundyou,letalonetrytolockyouintoaloveless
marriage.Irealizethatifbothpartiesdon'tfeelthesame,it
doesn'tworkandwouldn'tbegoodforachild."

Shehadtogetoutofhere,andshestartedforthekitchen."Please,"
shecalledoverhershoulder,"letmebe.Forgivemeforflyingtothe
Galipagosuninvited.Itwaswrongofme.Youwenttheretonurseyour
wounds.AllImanagedtodowasstirupthepastandembarrassyou.I
promiseitwon'thappenagain,Zach."

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Shehurriedthroughthehouseandupthestairs,anxioustobegone
fromherebeforemorning.Itwastimetoclosethechapteronthe
Wildesbeforeshemadeanymoremistakes.

AFEWMINUTESLATERZachopenedRichie'sbedroomdoor,seekingRichard.
Hedidn'tcareifhisbrotherwasasleep.Hehadtotalktohimor
he'dgooutofhismind.

"Comeallthewayin,"Richardsaid,"Tvebeenwaitingforyou."

ReliefsweptthroughZach."Where'sRichie?"

"Ithinkthequakescaredhimmorethanbewantstoadmit.Hehadso
muchtroublesettlingdown,Iwenttothekitchentomakehimsomehot
chocolate.That'swhenIheardvoicescomingfromthefamilyroomand
figuredyoumightneedtotalklater.Itoldhimtogetinbedwith
Bevandthegirls."

"WhatwouldIdowithoutyou?HowcomeI'moneoftheluckyonesin
lifewhowasgivenabrotherandbestfriendrolledintoone?"

RichardturnedonthelightbyRichie'sbed.DressedonlyinaT-shirt
andboxers,hethrewoffthecoversandsatontheedgeofthebed,
eyeingZachforalongsobermoment.

"Welcomehome.It'sgoodtoseeyouagain,too.I'vemissedyoumore
thanyouknow."

"Wanttobet?"Zachfiredback."Idon'tthinkIrealizedjusthow
deepmyfeelingswentuntilthecaptainoftheWindCloudtoldme
there'dbeenanearthquakeinSouthernCalifornia.Whenhesaidthe
epicenterwasinCostaMesa..."Zachcouldn'tfinish.

"Itwassomething,allright.Iwasintheofficewheneverythingwent
flyingoffthedesksandcabinets.ForonceIwasgladyouwere
thousandsofmilesaway.Luckilynooneattheofficeorhomewas
hurt."

"ExceptforLaura."

Richardleapedtohisfeet."Sheneversaidanything."

"Youknowher.She'ssoself-sacrificingshedidn'twanttoalarm
Richio."

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"She'snotgoingtomiscarry,isshe?"

"No,no.It'snotthatbad.Butwhenthequakehit,itknockedherto
theground.ShebangedherelbowprettyhardandIsawanugly'bruise
belowherknee."

Richardquirkedandeyebrow."Theknee,huh?Thatmusthavebeen
beforeyouleftherbedroomtogodownstairs."Hechuckled.

"Zach,whenareyougoingtobreakdownandadmitshe'sthereasonyou
flewhomeonthenextplane?"Hepaused,"Youknowyou'reinlovewith
her."

"I'veknownthatsincedayone."

"Istheretheslightestdoubtinyourmindthatshe'shopelesslyin
lovewithyou,too?"

"Notanymore.Tonightshetoldmeexactlyhowshefelt."Her
confessionhadtransformedhim."Lord,Richard.Shelovesmetheway
Beylovesyou.Ididn'tthinkthatkindoflovewaspossiblefor
me."

Richard'seyesmoistened."Destinymusthaveknownwhatwasdownthe
roadwhenyouwereaskedtotrainfortheTourdeFrance.Letmetell
yousomething.BevandIwatchedthetwoofyoufallinlove.It
happenedfast.Nowanswermeonequestion.Whatareyoudoingherein
Richie'sroom,insteadofhers?"

"Shethinks--no,she'sconvincedI'mstillinlovewithRosie."

"That'sBev'sfault,"Richardconfided."Thedayofthetimetrials
shetoldLauraaboutyourpastwithoutrealizingthedamageitwould
do.She'shatedherselfforiteversince."

Zachshookhishead."IloveBeyandcouldneverblameherfor
anything.It'smybehaviorthat'stheproblem.WhenLauracametosee
meintheGahipa-gos,she6HeredherselftomeinanycapacityIwas
willingtoconsider.Iwassoafraidshedidn'tlovemethewayI
lovedher,Iturnedherdownflat."

"TellmesomethingIdon'tknow,"Richardsaid,shakinghishead."She
camehomeshattered."

REBFJ3CAWINTERS

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"ThenyouhavesomeideaofthestateIwasinwhenIfoundoutshe'd
lefttheGahipagoswithoutmyknowledge.Thehellofitis,tonightI
madeanotherfatalmistakebytellingherI'dmarryhertoatoneformy
guiltoverthepartIplayedinTony'sdeath."

"Youwhat?"

"Yeah,"Zachadmitted."Itoldhertogivemeheranswerinthe
morning.Asyoufoundoutwhenyouwentdownstairs,shechosenotto
waituntilthesuncameuptotellmenothankyou."Hebegantopace.
"Youshouldhaveheardhertonight.IfI'dtriedtotellherhowI
reallyfeltabouther,ifI'dmadeonemovetowardherinthestateshe
wasin,shewouldhaverunoutofthehouseandImightnothavebeen
abletofindheragain."

"YoumeanlikeyoudidinPads?Withoutleavingaforwarding
address?"

Zach'shandsballedintofists."Okay,Ideservedthat."

"Heyre"Richardgavehimanotherhug"---don'tbesohardonyourself.
Youdidwhatyoufeltyouhadtodo.Tony'sdeathshockedallofus.
Butthat'sinthepast.Youarehometostay,aren'tyou?"

Theystaredateachother.

"Idon'teverwanttobeanyplaceelse."

"ThenyouneedtotellLaura."

"Ineedtotellheralotofthings."

"Iagree.Sogointoherrightnowandstarttalking."Richardtook
himfiercelybytheshoulders."Imeanaknock-down-drag-out
heart-to-hem.Don'tstopuntilshe'slistenedtoyou--andbelieves
you!Whetherittakestwohoursortwenty,I'llmakesurethekidsstay
away."

Zach'sthoughtsracedahead."Doestheguest-roomdoorhavealock?"

"No."Richardgrinned."Whenthehousewasbuilt,Imadea
last-minutedecisionnottobother."

"Thatwasawisedecision."Hegrinnedback."Otherwisetheremight

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havebeenmoretorepairthanyourswimmingpool."

ButZach'sgrinfadedasheleftthebedroomandapproachedLaura's.
Fearingshewouldn'tanswerhimifheknocked,Zachmadethe
split-seconddecisiontogoinunannouncedanduninvited.

Quietlyheturnedtheknobandentered.

Thesightthatgreetedhiseyeswouldlivewithhimforever.

AgaspescapedLauraasshefranticallyattemptedtocoverherselfwith
theendofRichie'sbedspread.Themovementknockedherclothestothe
floor.Shemusthavejustcomeoutoftheshowerandwasabouttoget
dressed,Zachthought.

NodoubtshehasasecretplantoleaveNewportwithoutsaying
goodbye.

"Goingsomewhere?"heasked.Actingoninstinctsolderthantime,he
closedthedistancebetweenthemandpickedherupinhisarms."I
don'tthink,so."hewhisperedagainstherlips.

"No,Zach!"Sheturnedherheadandfoughtwithsurprisingstrength,
butshewasstillnomatchforhim.

Withonlyabedspreadseparatinghimfromhergorgeousbody,he
recognizedhisadvantageforwhatitwasandchosetouseit.

Inwondermenthewatchedarosetintsuffusehercheeksandproceed
downthebreathtakinglengthofher.

Ashe'doncetoldRichie--"All'sfairinlove,warandtheTourde
France."Withtheraceoutoftheway,theywerenowdowntothelove
andwarpart.Herememberedthatthefamily-roomdoord/dhavealock
andheplannedtoshownomercy.

"Pleaseputmedown,"shebegged.

"IwillwhenI'mgoodandready,butfirstwe'regoingtohavealong
undisturbedtalk."Sosaying,hestartedforthedoor.

"Whatareyoudoing?Andwe'vealreadytalked."

"Whathappenedtomyraven-hairedcaptivewhosaidshe'dcomewithme
anywherewillingly?Andno,wehavenottalked."

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"Butyoudon'twantme!"shewailedplaintivelybeforeburyingher
faceinhisshoulder.

"Youdon'thavethefaintestideawhatIwantbecauseIletyousay
everythingthatwasonyourmindfirst.Oncewe'rewherenoonecan
botherus,it'sgoingtobemyturntotalkandyourstolisten.
Withoutinterruption."

Heopenedthedoorandheadedforthestaircase."Letmeatleasttake
myclothes!"

"I'llletyoucomebackforthemlater."

Enjoyingtheroleofmarauder,Zachstolethroughthehousewithhis
treasure,pleasedthatshe'dgoneallsilentonhim.

Oncethefamily-roomdoorwasclosedandheheardthesatisfyingclick
ofthelock,hecouldconcentratefullyonLaura.Thethoughtof
makinglovetoheronthesofabedBevhadmadeupforhimalmostsent
hisheartintofibrillation.

Butifhegaveintothedesirerackinghisbody,there'dbeno
talking.Richard'seasychairwouldaccommodatebothofthem.Locked
inhisarms,shewouldhavetostayput,andhe'dstillhavethepower
tothinkandspeak.

Orsohe'dthought.

Toolatehediscoveredthatthesmallamountoflightfromtheaquarium
hadgiventhesmoothskinofherarmsandshouldersapearlyluster.
Therealityofherphysicalpresence,hernaturalbeauty,everycurve
ofherfaceandbody,playedhavocwithhissenses.Theenticing
dishevelmentofhercuds,stilldampfromtheshower,thelovelymouth
withitsfulllowerlipmadehimforgetwhathewasabout.

Suppressinghisyearningwhilehestillcould,hegotupwithherfrom
thechairandcarefullyloweredherontothesofabed.

Herastonishmentatbeingdispatchedwelloutofhisreachwouldhave
madehimlaughifthesituationwasn'tsocrucialtohisexistence.
Thoughhe'dlivedthroughtworelationshipsthathadcausedhimgreat
heartache,he'dbeenabletogetonwithhislife.Notthistime,
though.

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AslongagoasBelgium,he'drealizedthatifhewasprivilegedtolive
therestofhislifewithher--asherhusband--hewouldbeoneofthose
mortalsluckyenoughtoscalethefullheightofhumanexperience.In
theGalfipagoshe'ddiscoveredthatwithouther,hewouldsufferakind
ofdeathandbeirrevocablylost.

Shemadenomovetoescape.Likeanobedientchildshelaytherewith
Richie'sbedspreadcocooningher,herdarkeyesanxiouslypeeringout
fromthefringe.

Themixtureofinnocenceandwomanly'beautymeltedhisinsides.

"Beforeanymoretimepasses,"hesaid,"Iwantyoutoknoweverything
thereistoknowaboutme.Thatwaythere'llbenosecretsbetweenus
afterwe're

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

AFTERWE'REMARRIED?Doyoureallymeanit,Zach?

Withextremeeffort,shemanagedtositupandstillkeepthebedspread
inplace.

Hiseyesfollowedeverymovement."Becauseyouwereamarriedwoman
whenwemet,Ididn'thavetherighttoshareeverythingwithyoulike
I'mgoingtodonow."

"You'llneverknowhowmuchIwantedyouto,"shesaid.

"YouthinkIdidn't?"Hesuckedinabreath."I'mafraidyou'rein
foralongsiege,Laura.ManyofthethingsI'mabouttotellyou,no
oneelseknows.NotevenRichard."

Becauseshe'dneverknowntwobrothersmoredevoted,thisstatement
madeanimpact.Shestaredathim,wide-eyed.

"Asyou'vealreadydivined,"hebegan,"Ihaveseveralglaringflaws.
Butonestandsoutfromtherest.I'vealwaysputRichardona
pedestal.EverythingIeverdid,aimedfor,achieved,hadtobe
measuredbyhisstandards.Hedidn'taskforhislittlebrother's
hero-worship.Unfortunatelyforhimitjusthappened,anaccidentof
birthinthefamilyconstellation.Ifollowedhimaroundlikeapuppy
andhehadtobeartheburden."

"Thathappensinlotsoffamilies,"Laurasaid,rushingtohis

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defense.

"InourcaseItookittoofar.I'mafraidIbecameanuisance,as
wellasaresponsibility.BeingRichard,hetookmeonbecausethat's
thekindofmanheis."Zachpaused."AftersavingBevfromdrowning,
hefellinlovewithher."

"Yes.Shetoldmeaboutthat."

Hiseyesflashed."DidshetellyouhowjealousI

wasbecauseshe'dtakenhimawayfromme?"Laura'sheartwentoutto
him."No."

"MaybeIdidabetterjobofhidingmydarksidethanIthought.
Anyway,thereweremomentsinmyteenageyearswhenIdislikedher
intensely."Hisbrowsknit."IfyoucanimagineanyonedislikingBev,
thenyou'llhaveanideaofjusthowdarkIcanbe.Anyway,attheir
wedding,IfeltlikeI'dlostmybestfriend.Icouldn'ttagalong
anymore.Theonlypeopletheyassociatedwithwereotherengagedor
marriedcouples.Lifejustwasn'tthesame,particularlywhenafew
monthsaftertheceremonyIheardtheywereexpectingababy."

"Zach,manyyoungerbrothersandsistersfeelbereftwhenanolder
siblingleavesthenest.It'sahugeadjustmentforeveryone.Iwent
throughitmyself."

Heshookhishead."Mycasewasunique.Icouldhavebenefitedfrom
therapy.Butthatwordwasn'tinourfamily'svocabularyandIwent
frombadtoworse.

IfiguredthatifIfoundmyselfagirlfriendandgotmarried,Richard
wouldallowmeintothatinnercircleandwe'dbebuddiesagain.So
beganmyquesttofindtheperfectwoman."

"AndsheturnedouttobeacarboncopyofBev,"Lauraguessed.But
she'dspokenwithoutthinking.

Zachstaredatherbeforenodding."ShecouldhavebeenBev'stwin.
Superficiallytheyresembledeachother.CathyhadBev'ssunny
disposition.Richardapprovedofher,sothatwasallthatmattered.
Tomydelight,theyletmebringherovertotheirapartmentfor
dinner.ThefourofusWentsailingtogether.AfterRichiewasborn,
wesawevenmoreofoneanother.Whenitlookedlikemyplanwas
working,Iboughtheraringandwesetadateforourwedding.

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"TheonlyshadowonthatparticularhorizonwerethemigrainesCathy
suffered.Sometimesshe'dbetoosicktogoanywhere.ThoughInever
saidthewordsoutloud,I'mashamedtoadmitthatIusedtoresenther
formininganeveningwe'dplannedwithRichardandBev."

Heblewoutasigh."ObviouslyIwastooemotionallyimmaturetobe
involvedinaseriousrelationshipofanykind,certainlynotOnethat
hadbeenengineeredbymyownselfishagenda.BecauseRichardhad
alwayshandledeverythingsowell,IthoughtIcouldcarrythingsoff
justlikehedid.

"RealitystruckwhenCathyhadtobehospitalizedafterabadmigraine
attack.Shewasfrightenedandreachedouttomeforsupport.I
couldn'tcomfortherthewaysheneeded.Don'tgetmewrong--Icared
forheragreatdeal,butIdidn'tknowwhatreallovewas.Ididn't
dareadmitthattoanyone.Thatwasthehellofit.Aboutnowmy
guiltkickedin.

"Itwasasoberingexperienceforanumberofreasons.I'dneverbeen
aroundareallyillpersonbefore,inthiscasemyfiancee.Forthe
firsttimeinmylifeIhadtoforgetmyneedsanddesirestobethere
forher.IhadtopretendthingsIdidn'tfeelinfrontofherfamily
andminebecauseIdidn'twantanyonetoknowmyturmoil,particularly
Richard."

"Zach"

"YouseewhatI'mtalkingabout?Ihadrealproblemsandpromised
myselfthatwhenshegotbetter,Iwouldtrytomakeituptoher."
Anothersigh."ItneverdawnedonmethatCathywoulddie.My
imaginationdidn'tstretchthatfar.Whenthedoctortoldmeshe'd
passedawayinhersleepbecauseofabraintumor,Isimplydidn't
believehim.Likeallyoungpeople,Ithoughtwewereimmortal.

"Herdeathwasnotonlyatragedy,itforcedmetocontinuelivinga
kindoflie.EveryoneassumedIwasgrievingformylostlove.Of
courseIfelthorribleaboutit,butpartofmypainhadtodowithmy
ownwretchedness."

Lauraunderstoodonlytoowell.

"MyguiltdeepenedandIwentintoadepression.Ofcourseno-oneknew
whatIwasgoingthrough.Thefamilyralliedaroundme,butforonce
theirlovecouldn'tfixwhatwaswrong.PoorRichard,forever

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LAtnA'S^

mychampion,madeasuggestionhethoughtwouldhelpmegetoverlosing
Cathy."

"Whatwasthat?"

"Hefeltanewhobbyunassociatedwiththepastwouldforcemeto
channelmyenergyintosomethingpositive.ThenextthingIknew,we
wereoutbuyingracingbikes.Hisidea.Iwouldneverhavethoughtof
itonmyown."Heshookhishead.

"Oddlyenough,herdeathbroughtusclosetogetheragain.Itwas
Wonderfulbeingwith[ichardintheoldbuddyway,butmy
guilt--compouedbymoreguiltbecauseIknewheoughttobeherewith
Bey--pre-ventedmefromenjoyingthesituation.

"Iconcentrated,instead,onpushingmyselftotheedge.Cycling
happenedtobethe0lysportatwhichIwasbetterthanmybrother.It
feltgeedtobeathimatsomething.Ineededtoredeemmyself,bea
personworthyofhisrespect.WhenIsawewasproudofme,Iworked
outharderandbeganeteringlocalcompetitions.

"ThatwasaboutthetimeBevaouncedshewaspregnantagain.She
sufferedterribleorningsickness,andRichardcouldn'tcomewithas
often.Butitnolongermatteredasmuch.Betwemyworkinthefamily
businessandthecycling,aCrtainamountofhealingstartedtotake
place.SoevathoughRichardneverknewthetruth,hisideahadtried
outtobeagoodone.

"ThoseyearsfollowingCathy'sbirthwereatimeofgrowthforLaura.
Iwonalotofionalandinter2'

nationalraces.Itraveledagreatdealandmetaseerepresentinga
European-basedsponsorofacycliteam."

ZachtoldLaurahowthey'dbeenlookingtoinclusomeAmericansona
newproteamtheywereputtitogethertotraininParkCity,Utah,for
theTourFrance.Thoughhe'dhadnoburningdesiretowincompetition
likethat,theideaofseeingnewplachadsoundedinteresting.

"Ofcourseoldhabitsdiehard?"hesaid,

hadtofitscussitwithRichardbeforeIdidanythiasdrasticas

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uprootingmyselftoliveinUtah.thoughtIoughttoconsiderit
becausemyhobbymefromdwellingonthepast,andIwasgood,real!
good,atcycling.Dadencouragedme,aswell,arofferedtosponsorme
soIcoulddevotefulltimethegruelingtraininginvolved.Ibeganto
seethatdidthis,itwouldmakethefamilyhappy.SinceIfeIowed
them,Ithought,whynottryit?"

Lauraponderedthislastrevelation.Guiltwasrsponsibleformore
painthanjustaboutanythingshecouldthinkof.

"Irealizedanofferlikethatdidn'tcomeyourwayveryoften.Being
atlooseends,IaccepteditamovedtoParkCity.TheRockies
providedmewithwholenewsetofproblems,butIthrivedonadversir.
Rtooktimetoacclimatize.Atsuchahighaltitude,learnedendurance
andfoundthesteepgradescha]!enging.

"Ialsofitscoveredlonelinessandbeganseeingwomen.Overaperiod
oftimeImetalltypes,fromsportsbuffstopartygirls."

That'ssomethingIdidn'tknow,Laurathought.Idon'tthinkBeyand
Richardknowit,either.

"TosomeextentIenjoyedtheexperience,butIneverfeltanything
lasting.AssoonasIsensedtheywantedacommitment,Imovedonwith
theexcusethatI'dbeleavingtheStatesbeforelongtolivein
Europe.

"Onedayonamountainroad,Iwasracingaroundacornerandalmost
bumpedintothiswomanwhowasoutridingbikeswithhersonandhis
Mends.Sheapologizedforbeingintheway.Whenthenear-accident
wasclearlymyfault,Ifoundhergenerosityrefreshing."

Hesmiledatthememory."Rosiehadasunnydisposition.Theabsence
ofanyartificeorsuperficialitymadeherreallyappealing.Unlike
theotherwomenI'dmet,shehadstabilityinbothhercareerasa
teacherandroleasamother.Shedidn'tcomeonstrong."

Infact,ZachsaidtoLaura,ithadbeenherreticencethathaddrawn
himtoher.He'dknowninstinctivelythatshewouldmakenodemandson
him.He'dneededthatbecausehewasn'treadyforadeepemotional
commitment.

"Shewasawidowandquitecontentwithherlife.Shedidn'tneedme
tocompleteit,didn'twantsomethingfromme.Icouldtellshewasa
goodparent,too.Herson,Cody,wasfriendlyatfirst.Butassoon

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asherealizedIenjoyedbeingwithhismother,hedidn'tlikemeat
all.SinceIwasoutoftownalot,itdidn'tbotherme.Ourdates
weresporadic.

"Butlittlebylittle,lovegrew.IntimeIdiscoveredthatIliked
cominghomefromaracingeventtoonewoman.Thebachelorlifebegan
topall,asdidthecyclingcircuit.Igaveuptheideaoftraining
fortheTourdeFranceand,instead,startedupabranchofourfamily
businessinSaltLake.

"AtthatpointRosie'ssondeclaredwar.Betweenhimandherin-laws
interference,Ihadthefightofmylifeonmyhands.Despitethelove
RosieandIshared,thesecondyearofourrelationshipresembleda
battlefieldwithCodyoutmaneuveringmeateveryturn.

"UnfortunatelyCody'sbehaviorhadcreatedsortofasmokescreenthat
maskedamuchmoreseriousproblemforRosie."

"Whatwasthat?"Lauraaskedinahauntedvoice."Rosiewasstillin
lovewiththehusbandwho'ddiedinthewar."Hestartedtopace.
Laurawatchedhim,herheartbreakingforhim."Iknewallalongshe
wasn'tcompletelyoverhim,butItoldmyselfitdidn'tmatter.What
wehadwashereandnow.ItwassimilartowhatI'dtoldmyselfabout
lovingCathywhenIknewthekindofloveIhadforherwasn't
enough."

Laurashiveredinvoluntarily,afraidofwhatwastocome.

"IknewinmygutitwaspointlesstokeepseeingRosie.Butsomuch
timehadbeeninvested,Imadeonelast-ditcheffortandinvitedher
andCodyonacruise.Ifnothingcameofit,IwasgoingtoleaveSalt
Lake.

"Tomysurprise,sheproposedtomeaboardshipandtoldmeshe
wouldn'tletCodystandinthewayofourhappiness.Shesworeshe
lovedmeandIbelievedher.OfcourseIknewherfeelingsformewere
differentfromwhatshe'dfeltforherhusband.Itoldmyselfthatin
time,though,ourlovewouldtakeonalifeofitsown.Ihadgotten
tothepointwhereIwantedtosettledown.Ididn'twanttolook
anywhereelse."

Hestoppedpacingandputhishandsonhiships."Weprobablywould
haveachievedasolidmarriageifherhusbandhadn'treturned.Butthe
secondshephonedmeandtoldmethenewsthathewasalive,Iknewit
wasover.Sodidshe."

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"Howwereyouabletodoit?"Lauraasked."Howwereyouabletolet
go?"

"Itwashard."Iwon'tlieaboutthat.We'dbeenfriendsalong
time."

"Andlovers,"shewhispered.

"No,Laura,that'swhereyou'rewrong.Weneverslepttogether."

Shecouldn'tcomprehendwhathewastellingher."Youmeanthatovera
two-yearperiodyounev-"

"No,"hecutin."Ididn'twanttomakelovetoheruntilIknewit
wouldbemeinherbed,notNick.Yousee,Ithoughtitdidn'tmatter
thatshestillclungtoherfirstlove.Butwhenitcamerightdownto
it,Iwasgreedy.Iwanteditall.WhenIcouldn'thaveit,

RIB!CCAWINTERS

Idecidedtoplayawaitinggame.Icouldaffordto.Iwasn'tgoing
anywhere."

Hesatdownontheedgeofthebedandranahandthroughhishair.
Laurafoundherselfwantingtodothat,butshestayedstilland
listened."Becauseofthatdecision,wewerebothfortunateenoughto
walkawayintheendwithoutthatcomplicationtodealwith.Shewas
abletoresumehermarriagetoNickandnotlookback.Theyhavean
incrediblerelationship,likeRichardandBev's.Needlesstosayit
madeCodydeliriouslyhappy."

"Stopbeingsonoble,Zach!"sheexclaimed."Whataboutyour
happiness?"

"Myhappiness?"Heturnedtoherandhiseyesnarrowed."She's
sittingrightinfrontofme,exactlywhereIwanther."Hisvoice
soundedhusky.

Lauraheardthewordswithasenseofunreality."Beserious."

"I'veneverbeenmoreseriousinmylife.Haven'tyoulistenedto
anythingI'vebeensaying?"

Thenextthingsheknew,hestoodupandreachedforher,pullingher,

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stillclutchingthebedspread,intohisarms.

"Tveonlyknownonegreatlove,mydarling.You."Shecouldn'tdeny
thepowerofhisdeclaration.Alltheemotion,allthelovethatwas
inhim,hadfoundthepathstraighttoherheartAsmallcryofjoy
escapedher."Iloveyou,too,Zach."

Hemoldedherbodytohis,worshippingherwithhishandsandmouth.
Shecouldn'tgetcloseenough.

A'SBABY

"Ineverbelievedapersoncouldfallinloveatsight,Laura,butit
happenedtomewhenIopenedhotel-roomdoorandsawyoustanding
there."

"Thatdaywaslikeawonderfuldream,"shesaid"Ineverwantedtowake
up."

Zachsighed."BythetimeI'dmadeuptheexcusthatIwasoutof
razorbladessoIcouldwalkyourhotel,Iwasinlove.Iknewyou
werewife,butitdidn'tseemtomatter.Youweren'tthinglikeI'd
imagined.Ididn'twanttoleaveyourside,oryoutoleavemine."

"Iknow,darling,Iknow.WhydoyouthinkIilvitedyouinmyhotel
roomandfedyouthosegranolabars?Iwasdesperatetothinkupany
idioticexcusetodetainyou."

Buryinghisfaceinherneck,hewhispered,"Ilovedthosebars.With
everydeliciousbite,IcursedFatesthathadmadeyouTony'swife,
insteadTalkaboutdesperation..."

Lauraclungtohim,almostmindlesswithpassion."TheattractionI
feltforyou,"hesaid,toinveigleRichardintotakingyouaroundthe
circuitwithhim.Notthatheneededanycoaxingoncehe'dmetyou.It
wastheonlyplanIcouldthinkoftolegitimatelyseeyouevery
morningandeverynight."

"Thenwhydidyoustopjoiningthefamily?"criedinremembered
pain.

Heheldherawayfromhimandshookhergently,"Youknowwhy.I'd
alreadypassedbeyondthe

RIBF.CCAWINTERS

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boundsofdecencywhenIcalledyoufromthehe:pital

"No,you-'"

"

"Laura,"heinterrupted,"allmylifeI'vetriedIlivebyacertain
codeofethics.Makinglovetoanothman'swifehasalwaysbeenverb
etChIdon'tfrighteeasily,butthatnightwhenIknewyouwerealone,
cameclosetobreakingthatvowandIexperiencedrefear."

Sheclosedhereyestightlyandburiedherfaceihischest."Youwere
rightnottocome.Howcouldhaverefusedyou?NotevenTony'sdeath
madeadifference.Afterthatscenewiththepress,Ijustwantedto
curlupwithyoualonesomewhereandshutouttworld.I'llneverknow
howIfoundthestrengthturnawayfromyou."

Atremorshookhispowerfulbody."Idon'twanttothinkaboutthat.
Theonlymatterofanyimportamismarryingyou.Ifitwasuptome,
I'ddriveusNevadarightnow.Butifyouwantabigwedding...She
chuckled."I'mafraidtheweddingarrangmeritsmightalreadybeout
ofourhands."

Helookeddownather,confused."Whatareyotalkingabout?"

"BeyandRichardhavebeenhopingformonthsthatwe'dgettogether.
They'dbecrushedifwejustrunoffwithoutlettingthemplana
celebration."

"IloveandneedyousobadlyIdon'tknowifcanwait.Butsinceit's
RichardandBev"

Laurasilencedhismouthwithherown.Hereturne

herkisswithanardorthatblockedouttherestoftheworld.When
hefinallylethercatchherbreath,shemurmured,"Let'sgoupstairs
andtellthemthehappynews.It'salreadymorning.Thesun'sup.And
youknowthey'vebeenawakeallnightjustwaitingtofindoutifall
theirplotshavehatchedthewaytheyhoped."

Zachsmiledather."YoulovethemasmuchasIdo.That'sjustone
ofthemanythingsIadoreaboutyou."

"They'rethemostwonderfulpeopleI'veeverknown."

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"Iagree."

Sosaying,hepickedherupinhisarmsandheadedforthedoor.

"Firstwe'llhavetogobytheguestroomsoIcangetdressed,"she
said."Really."Sheblinked."Zacb"---"Hush,woman!"

Effortlesslyhecarriedherupthestairs.Somethingtoddhershewas
introuble.

"Zach,youcan'tletanyoneseemelikethis!"Hecasthera
positivelywolfishleer."Anyspoilsmustbepresentedtothemaster
ofthishousefirst.Heandhealonewilldecideyourfate."

"UncleZach!"

Richieappearedoutofnowhere."What'reyoudoingwithLauraandhow
comeshe'swrappedinmybedspread?"Hespokeloudlyenoughforallto
he;Withinsecondsthegirlshadrunoutofthemaslbedroom.

"IsshesickT'Rachelwantedtoknow.

"Howcomeshe'snotsayinganything?"Robindemanded.

FireragedinLaura'scheeks.Allshecoulddowhideherfacein
Zach'sneck.

"She'sinshock,Robin."

"Doesthatmeanthebaby'scoming?"

LauracouldfeelZachshakewithsuppressediaughter."Itbetternot
he.We'vegottogetmarriedfirst"Hooray!"thegirlsshouted.

"It'sabouttime,UncleZach,"Richiedeclared."Isthatright,
Richie."

"Yeah.Laura'sthebest.She'salreadypartoftfamily."

"Didyouhearthat,mylove?"Zachsaidinhereastheysweptthrough
thedoorwayofBeyandRicand'sroom."Nogreaterpraise."

"Comeallthewayin,littlebrother.Let'sseewhatyou'vegot
bundledupinthere."

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"I'vereturnedwithpreciousplunderafteragreatvoyageinmy
longboat."

"What'salongboat?"Robinwantedtoknow,bnobodyanswered.

ComeclosersoIcaninspectthegoods,"eauthecommand.

"RichardThoraidWilde!"BeycriedindignantonLaura'sbehalf.

"Youstartedthis,wife,"Richardteased.

LaurahadthesinkingfeelingtherewasnostoppingZachorhis
brother.HecarriedherovertoRichard'ssideoftheking-sizebed.

RichardreachedouttosmooththefringeofRichie'sbedspreadaway
fromherface.Hewinked."What'sthis?Awomanwithstrangeblack
hairanddarkeyesthatcanputthepoxonamansohedoesn'tknow
whereheisorwhathe'sdoing.Don'tyouknowthiskindofcreature
makesamanuselessandcausestroubleinourworldofblond-haired
blue-eyedgiants?"

"Richard,that'senough!"Beytriedagain.

"She'swithchild,too,butIstillwanther."Zachswoopeddownand
gaveherakissinfrontofeveryone.

"Hmm,yes,Icanseethatyoudo."Richardputafingertohischeek
thoughtfully."Ifyouclaimher,youcan'tgoonanymorevoyages."

"Idon'twanttogoonanymorevoyages.Iwantmyowncastle,myown
landsmyownwoman."

"Fromhereonoutyou'llhavetodoyourshareoftheworkandnot
causeanymorehavocformeandmine."

"IswearbytheoathofThoraidIshall."

"BytheoathofThorald,huh?Inthatcase,she'syours!Whatdoyou
callthiscreature?"

"Laura."

"That'sastrangename."

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"ButIlikeit."

"Thechild'snamewillhavetobeAstridinhonorofour
great-great-grandmother,QueenAstrid,isn'tthatright,wife?"

"Astrid?"TheshockinZach'svoicemadeLaurachuckle.

"It'sAstrid,ortherewillbenoceremony."

Zachlookeddownatheringpuzzlement."Laura?"

"Doyoumind?"Hereyesbeggedhim."She'sgoingtobeyourdaughter.
IwanthertobeatrueWilde."

Zach'sstunnedgazeflickedbacktoRichard."As-triditis."

AhugegrintransformedRichard'sface."Itoldyouthosebrowneyes
weregoingtobeyourdownfall.Wife."HeturnedtoBev."Namethe
datefortheceremony."

"Wednesday."

"Butthat'sfivedaysfromnow!"Zachprotested."I'mnotwaiting
that"

"Wednesdayitis,"Richardproclaimedwithkinglyauthority."Until
then,thiscreaturewillhavetostaywiththewomenfolkandbe
prepared."

Rachelsquirmedherwaythroughtositonherfather'slap.

"Daddy,yoU'refunny."

"Yeah,Daddyre"

Robinwascutoffbytheringingofthephone.Itwasasoundnoone
hadheardsincethequake.

"Thephone'sbackon,thankgoodness.Nowwecancalleverybodyand
invitethem!"Beyreachedforthereceiverandsaidhello.Butthe
shininghappiness

"Youstartedthis,wife,"Richardteased.

LaurahadthesinkingfeelingtherewasnostoppingZachorhis

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brother.HecardedherovertoRichard'ssideoftheking-sizebed.

RichardreachedouttosmooththefringeofRichie'sbedspreadaway
fromherface.Hewinked."What'sthis?Awomanwithstrangeblack
hairanddarkeyesthatcanputthepoxonamansohedoesn'tknow
whereheisorwhathe'sdoing.Don'tyouknowthiskindofcreature
makesamanuselessandcausestroubleinourworldofblond-haired
blue-eyedgiants?"

"Richard,that'senough!"Beytriedagain.

"She'swithchild,too,butIstillwanther."Zachswoopeddownand
gaveherakissinfrontofeveryone.

"Hmm,yes,Icanseethatyoudo."Richardputafingertohischeek
thoughtfully."Ifyouclaimher,youcan'tgoonanymorevoyages."

"Idon'twanttogoonanymorevoyages.Iwantmyowncastle,myown
landsmyownwoman."

"Fromhereonoutyou'llhavetodoyourshareoftheworkandnot
causeanymorehavocformeandmine."

"IswearbytheoathofThoraidIshall."

"BytheoathofThoraid,huh?Inthatcase,she'syours{Whatdoyou
callthiscreature?"

"Laura."

"That'sastrangename."

"ButIlikeit"'

"Thechild'snamewillhavetobeAstridinhonorofour
great-great-grandmother,QueenAstfid,isn'tthatright,wife?"

"Astrid?"TheshockinZach'svoicemadeLaurachuckle.

"It'sAstrid,ortherewillbenoceremony."

Zachlookeddownatherinpuzzlement."Laura?"

"Doyoumind?"Hereyesbeggedhim."She'sgoingtobeyourdaughter.
IwanthertobeatrueWilde."

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Zach'sstunnedgazeflickedbacktoRichard."As-triditis."

AhugegrintransformedRichard'sface."Itoldyouthosebrowneyes
weregoingtobeyourdownfall.Wife."HeturnedtoBev."Namethe
datefortheceremony."

"Wednesday."

"Butthat'sfivedaysfromnow!"Zachprotested."I'mnotwaiting
thatre

"Wednesdayitis,"Richardproclaimedwithkinglyauthority."Until
then,thiscreaturewillhavetostaywiththewomenfolkandbe
prepared."

Rachelsquirmedherwaythroughtositonherfather'slap.

"Daddy,you'refunny."

"Yeah,Daddy"

Robinwascutoffbytheringingofthephone.Itwasasoundnoone
hadheardsincethequake.

"Thephone'sbackon,thankgoodness.Nowwecancalleverybodyand
invitethem!"Bevreachedforthereceiverandsaidhello.Butthe
shininghappinessinherfacefadedasshelistenedtowhomeverwason
theotherend.

Fearingitwasbadnews,everyoneintheroomfellquiet.Lauraclung
toZach.

"He'sfine.Infact,he'srighthere,"Beysaidquietly,her
apprehensiveblueeyesdartingtoherbrother-in-law.

Coveringthemouthpiece,shesaid,"It'sforyou,Zach.SaltLake
calling.Youcantakeitdownstairs.I'llwaitandthenhangup."

Laurafeltasifsomeonehadjustsluggedherinthestomach.it's
Rosie.

ShestiffenedinZach'sarms."Putmedowninthehall,thengotake
yourcall,"sheurgedhiminashakyvoice.

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Ignoringherrequest,Zachheldherevencloserinhisarmsandwalked
aroundtothephoneonBev'ssideofthebed.

"Holdthereceiverupforme,willyou,darling?"

Inshock,Lauradidasheasked,butherfingersweretrembling.

"Rode?"hebegan."Isthatyou?"

"Yes.WhenIheardthattheNewportareahadhitbythequake,Ihad
tocalltofindoutifyouandyourfamilywereallright."

Warmedbyherconcern,Zachfeltlikehewastalkingtoanoldfriend,
nothingmore.Hecouldhavenogreaterproofofhistotalandcomplete
loveforLaura.Shewashiswholeworld.Nothingelsemattered.

Heclearedhisthroat."Wewerelucky,"hemurmured,lookingatLaura,
whostaredupathimIlalf-fearfully."Noonegothurtexceptmy
fiancee,andevensheescapedwithonlyminorinjuries."

"Oh,Zach!"Rosiesaidhappily."You'reengaged?"

"Yes.We'rebeingmarriedonWednesday."HepausedtokissLauraon
themouth.He'dnevergetenough.""Youweregivenyourheart's
desireWhenNickreturnedfromthewar.NowthatI'vefoundaineI
understandwhyyoucouldneverlethimgo.IfIlostLaura."He
couldn'teventhinkaboutit.

"Never,"Lauramouthedbeforerelaxingagainsthimintotal
contentment.

"Yournewshasmademehappierthanyou'lleverknow,"Rosiesaid.

"Laura'slovehasmademefeelreborn."

"Icantell.Godblessyou,Zach."

"Godblessyou,too,Rosie.GivemybesttoNickandCody."

Whenhehungupthephone,thelastdoortohistroubledpasthad
closed.Zachloweredhisheadtokissthewomanwho'dbecomehis
future,hislife.

"Okay,everybody,"Richardannouncedasheclimbedoutofbed."It's
timeforbreakfast.Lastpersondownstairshastodothedishesand

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cleanupthekitchen!"

"That'llbeUncleZach,"Richiegrumblednearthedoorway."Ifheever
doescomedown."

"Iwouldn'tcountonit,"hismothersaid,glancingattheoblivious
couplelockedinanembrace.

"ButLaurapromisedtoplaybaseballcardswithme."

"Tmafraidyou'regoingtohavealongwait,son,"Richardsaid."Since
Idon'thavetogotoworktoday,howaboutmestandinginforher?"

"You?"Therewasabriefsilence."Okay,"heagreed,notsounding
quiteasgrumpy,"butnobody'sassmartasLaura."

"Wedon'thavetogotoschoolonWednesday,dowe,mommy."

"Ofcoursenot,Rachelhoney.I'mgoingtoneedyougirls'helptoget
everythingready.WewantZachandLaura'sweddingdaytobe
perfect!"

"Yeah!"theyallchimedinatonce.

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

"GOODBYE!HAVEAwonderfultime!"

WhilefamilyandfriendsstoodonthefrontporchandwavedtoZachand
LauraastheydroveoffwithJustMarriedspraypaintedonthetrunkof
thecar,Richardreachedforhiswife.Forsomeoddreason,heneeded
hermorethanusualtonight.

Lovingherpregnantshape,heslidhishandsaroundherfrombehindand
instinctivelysearchedformovementinherabdomen.Hewouldnever
taketheprocessofconceptionandbirthforgranted.Eachtimehe
felttheevidenceofthebabythey'dmadeinsideher,herelivedthe
wonderofitall---especiallytonightbecausethebrotherheadoredwas
finallygoingtoexperiencerealjoyasahusbandandfather,too.In
fact,hewouldprobablyenduphavingseveralchildreninquick
successiontomakeupforlosttime.

SuddenlyBevwhirledaroundtofacehim."I'msohappyIfeellikeI'm
goingtoburst!Haveyoueverseentwopeoplemoreinlove?Honey,I
can'tbelieveI'msayingthis,butI'mgladZachhadtogothroughwhat

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hedidfirst.Otherwisehewouldneverhavemettheperfectwomanfor
him."

AsRichardtookinhiswife'sradiantbeauty,hisheartoverflowedwith
love.Swallowingwithdifficulty,hemurmured,"Ifithadn'tbeenfor
you,ifyoudidn'tlovehimasmuchasyondo..."Hegaveupand
simplycrushedherinhisarms.

"Hey,"shewhispered,nestlingevencloser."Ihaveasurprisefor
yon."

Whenherwordshadfullycomputed,hepulledfarenoughawaytolook
downatherquestioningly.

"Idecidedtosaveituntilnowtohelpyougetoveryourseparation
anxiety."

Onebrowquirked."Separationanxiety?"

"Yes.YouthinkIdon'tknowyou'refeelingalittleabandonednow
thatyourbrotherhascutthecordforgood,sotoslak?"

Beyknowseverything.HowIloveher.

"WhenLauraandIwentinforourultrasounds,Ifoundoutwe'regoing
tohaveanewversionofZachrunningaroundthehouseprettysoon."

"We'rehavinganotherboy?"Richardalmostshouted.Hisparentsand
Laura's,whowerestandingnearbytalking,startedtolaugh.

Beysenthimateasingsmile.

"Ithoughtthatmightcheeryouup.Inyouroldoldageyou'llhave
thiscutelittletowheadedguywho'llfollowyoueverywhere,who'll
gazeupatyouwithadorationinhiseyesandthinkyon'rethegreatest
manalive.Which,ofcourse,yonare."

AsSOONASLaurawasdressed,shelefttheexaminingroomandmoreor
lessshuffledintoherdoctor'soffice.

"Fullterm"hadtakenonnewmeaninginthepastcoupleofweeks,for
bothherandZach.

HardtobelieveFebruaryhadfinallyarrived.WithValentine'sDay
justaroundthecorner,thiscouldbeherlastvisitbeforethebaby

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came.

Zachstoodupassheenteredtheroom.Hegaveherahugandthe
doctortoldthemtobeseated.Thoughherhusbandtriednottoshow
it,he'dbeenonedgeallweek.

Yesterdayhe'dhungaroundtheirnewlyremodeledcondoallmorningwith
theexcusethathedidn'tneedtogointoworkuntillater.Todayhe'd
takenthewholedayoffjusttoaccompanyhertothedoctor'soffice.

Ofcourse,Laurawasn'tcomplaining.Shedeemedanytimeshecould
spendwithhimprecious.Butshedidn'tlikethatbroodingexpression
onhishandsomeface.ItwastoogreatareminderoftheZachshe'd
confrontedintheGahipagos.

Withoutpreamble,CindyStewart,Laura'sobstetrician,explainedthat
everythinglookedgood.

"Thebabyhasdroppedandyou'retwocentimetersdilated.Don'tplan
anothersailingtripdowntoBajarightnow."Shewinkedasshesaid
it,butLauranoticedthatCindy'steasinghadbeenwastedonZach.
He'dgonepalebeneathhistan.

Nowhegottohisfeet,rubbinghisneckabsently."Whatyou'resaying
is,ourbabycouldcomeanytimenow."

"That'sright.Ifyouhavesomequestions,I'dbegladtoanswer
them."

Laura'sheartwentouttoherhusband,whoseanxiousgazeflickedfrom
Cindytoher."Doyouhaveany,darling?"

"No."

Shehadseveralactually,butinZach'snervousstate,shethoughtit
wisernottovoicethem.

"Ifthat'sthecase,VIIleaveyoutwoandgoseemynextpatient,"
Cindyrosefromherchair."Callmewhenthepainsstart.Youhave
thenumberofmy

Lauranodded."Thankyousomuchforeverything."

"It'smypleasure,believeme."Onherwayoutoftheroomthedoctor
pattedZach'sann."Yourwifeisgoingtobeline."

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Herreassurancedidn'tmakeadent,Thesecondshewasoutthedoor
ZachcuppedLaura'selbow."Let'sgohome."

"Allright."

Ontheirwayouttotheparkinglotherstomachgrumbled,remindingher
thatithadbeenalongtimesincelunch."Doyoucareifwestopfor
somesouv-aidontheway?"

Grim-faced,hemuttered,"We'llphonefortake

OUL"

Laurafrowned.AsfarasSheknew,therewerenoGreekrestaurantsin
theareathatdelivered.Herhusbandsimplywasn'tthinkingclearly.
He'dbeencoopedupalldayandneededanoutleL

"I'vegotabetteridea.Let'stakeawalkdownonthepierandfind
usacozylittleplacethatservesstuffedshrimp."

Itwasafavoritedishoftheirs,butjudgingbyherhusband'snext
question,itseemedhecouldn'tbetempted.

"Doyouthinkthat'swisethisclosetoyourtime?Sheleanedintohis
sideandkissedhischeekbeforetheygotintheear."Darling,we
bothhavetoeat.Asforwalking,alittleexerciseisgoodforme.
"

Hisjawhardened.Sherecognizedthesigns.

"Onsecondthought,homedoessoundinviting.Cometothinkofit,one
ofyourSpanishomeletmssoundsevenbetter."

"You'dlikethat?"

Obviouslyshe'dsaidtherightthingtotemporarilyappeasehim.

"I'dloveit."

Withinminutesthey'darrivedatthecondo.Thedoubledecks
overlookingthewaterhadbeendestroyedbythequakeandrecently
rebuiiLItwasthekindofbeachfrontpropertyLaurahadalwaysdreamed
of.

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Possessingagreenthumblikeherdad's,shehadplantsandtubsof
pottedflowersgrowinginsideandout.TogethersheandZachhad
chosenaHapsburg-yellowcolorscheme,whichtheyteamedwithlightoak
andrattanfurniture.Thedecorhadtransformedhisformerdomicile
intoacomfortablesunnyhavenofbeauty.Especiallythenursery.

Ofallthebedroomsinthehouse,thebaby'sroomhadclaimedher
husband'sundividedattention.Neverhadanyexpectantfathertaken
hisrolesoseriously.Fromthewalnut-coloredFrench-provincial-style
cribtothecolorfulmobileofthesevendwarfs,everythingwas
perfect.

Forthepastfourmonthsthey'dbeenecstaticallyhappy.Why,she
worried,hadZach'sbehaviorundergonesucha.drasticchange?

Thesecondtheyenteredthehouseheputhishandsonhershoulders
frombehindandsaid,"Whydon'tyougoonupandtakeanicerelaxing
bath.Bythetimeyou'reout,I'llhavedinnerreadyandbringitto
youinbed."

Lauradidn'tturnaround.

You'refrighteneeLmydadingWhat'swrong?Shekissedthehand
nearestherwarmcheek.Shewasalwayswarmthesedays."Youmust
havebeenreadingmymind.I'llbewaitingforyou."

Allthreebedroomsfacedthewaterandsoeachhadaspectacularview.
Lauraenteredthemasterbedroom,hermindtryingtofathomwhatwas
goingoninsideherhusband.

Bythetimeshe'dhadherbathandslippedintoafreshnightie,she'd
madeuphermindtogettothebottomofit.

"Nosoonerhadsheclimbedintotheirking,sizebedthanheappeared
withatray.Shesatupagainsttheheadboard,alreadysalivatingover
theomelette'sdeliciousaroma.

"Mmm,"shesaidasheplacedthetrayonherlap.

"Thankyou,darling.Everythinglookswonderful.Where'syour
dinner?"

Hiseyeswereveiled."FIIeatlater."

Knowingbetterthantocoaxh'lnshestartedtoeatandchattedabout

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inconsequentialmatters.Hesatinoneofthechairsnearthebedand
watchedher.

Evervigilant,assoonasshe'deatenthelastgreenpepperanddrained
herglassoflemonade,hetookthetrayandputitonthemagazine
tablenexttohischair.

Asfarasshewasconcerned,itwastimeforaserioustalk.

Afterpraisinghimforthesuperbcuisine,shepattedhissideofthe
bed."Comeandjoinme,"sheinvited,hervoicehusky."Imissyou
nexttome."

Itwastrue.Upuntilaweekagothey'dbeenmakinglovemorning,noon
andnight,whenevertheycould.Everytimewaslikethefirsttime,
fillingherwithrapture.

Thensuddenlyhe'dstoppedtouchingher.Forthepastfewnightswhen
he'dthoughtshewassleeping,he'dlefttheirbedtostandoutonthe
deck,sometimesuntilthemorningfogrolledin.

Zach'shandstightenedonthearmsofthechair,buthemadenomoveto
getup."Idon'tthinkthat'sagoodidea."

Shefrowned."Ithinkit'saverygoodidea.AllIwantyoutodois
holdme."

"It'salmostimpossibleformetojustholdyou,"hesaidgruffly.

"ThenI'llboldyou."

Sheheardhissharpintakeofbreath."Don't,

"Don'twhat?Askmyhusbandtocometobedwithme?It'saperfectly
naturalrequest--unlessyou'vestoppedlovingme."

Hissavageimprecationmadeherjump.Likelightningheshotoutof
thechair,hishandsballedintofistsathissides."Don'teversay
that!"

"Darling!"shecried,aghast."What'swrong?Forthepastweek
you'vebeenactinglikeastranger.Talktome!Please.Tellmewhy
you'resoupset."

Hiscontinuedsilencedevastatedher.Hewasinpain.Onanimpulse

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sheasked,"Areyouafraidsomething'sgoingtohappentome?"

Thesecondthequestionleftherlipsshesawthehardeningofhis
featuresandknewshe'dhithome."Youheardthedoctor.I'mgoingto
hefine.""Cansheguaranteeit?"hefiredback.

Laurahadbeenlisteningwithallhersenses.Suddenlyherthoughts
flashedbacktohisfirstfiancte,andthentoTony.

Hethinksthere'sachanceI'mgoingtodie.

Shetossedthecoversaside.Forgettingherprotrudingstomach,she
pushedherselfoffthebedandthrewherarmsaroundhisneck.

"Millionsofwomenarehavingbabieseveryday.You'regoingtobe
righttherewithme,holdingmyhand.Howcouldanythinggowrong?
You'llhethefirstonetoseeourdaughterborn.Icanpictureyou
paradingaroundwithherrightnow."

Hisgrayeyeshaddarkenedwithemotion."Ifanythinghappenedto
you..."

Shetrembled."Don'tyouthinkIfeelthesamewayaboutyouevery
timeyouleavethishousetogotowork?Everytimeyou'reoutofmy
sight?Allitprovesishowmuchweloveeachother.Butwecan'tlet
thepastdominateourlives,notwhenwehaveeverythingtolive
for."

"Iknow,"hewhispered,buthiseyeswereglazedwithmoisture.Fora
momentshesawintohissoulandreadhisanguishedcryforhelp.
Somethingelsewasstillworryinghim.

"Areyouafraidforthebaby?Youdon'thavetobe.Theultrasound
indicatesourbabyisperfect."

Hedidn'tsayanything.Thebleaknessinhiseyesalarmedher.Then
sherememberedacommentRichiehadmadetoherinthecar.

"Zach,you'regoingtobethefirstpersonourbabyseeswhenshe's
born.You'llbeherfather,nowandalways.Somedaywhenshe'sold
enough,we'lltellheraboutTony,butifyouthinkforonesecondthat
willmakeanydifferencetoher,youcouldn'tbemorewrong."

"Buteverytimeyoulookather,you'll"

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"No,darling.Haven'tyoubeenlisteningtome?Sincethemomentyou
guessedIwaspregnant,Ihavealwaysthoughtofyouasherfather.In
fact,Ican'trememberasinglesecondwhenIdidn't.Herbirthis
goingtomakeusevencloser,becauseshe'llbethebestpartofTony.
She'sagiftwe'lltreasureforever."

Theyweretherightwordstosay.Zachreachedforherandtheyclung.
Then,graspinghimbythehand,shedrewhimontothebedandintoher
arms.Thusbeganacommunicationofbodiesandspiritsthatlasted
wellintothenight.Atsomepointtheyfinallyfellasleepwithher
backagainsthischest,hisarmaroundherandthebaby.

AROtnnv-inthemorningLaurawasawakenedbyadraggingsensation
thatsweptaroundfromherlowerbacktothefront.Therewasonlyone
thingthatfeelingcouldhe.

Foralongtimeshelaythereinawedsilence,ponderingtheeventthat
wasabouttohappen.

Bysixshewasconvincedthepainscomingatregularintervalsweren't
goingtogoaway.Whenherfirstreallyhardcontractionbegan,she
letoutacryofsurpriseatitsintensity.

Withasmotheredimprecation,Zachsaid,"Ifeltthat,too!"

Masculinehandsthatcouldheatonceprovocativeandtendermovedover
hertautbelly.

"Howincredible!"hesaid."WheredidyouputDr.Stewart'snumber?
Ihavetocallher.We'vegottogettothehospital."

"It'swrittenontheappointmentcardinmypurse,butthere'snobig
hurry.Shesaysthefirstbabyusuallytakesawhile."

"Ourbabyisreallycoming!"

"Yes."Herfacebrokeoutinagrinbecausehesoundedsoexcited.The
demonsoflastnightseemedtohavevanished."We'reabouttobecome
parents.Doyouthinkyou'reready?"

"Aslongasyouneverstoplovingme,I'mreadyforanything,Mrs.
Wilde."

"FORCRYINGOUTLOUD,UncleZach,when'sitgoingtobemyturntohold
Astrid?"

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Richie'sfrustratedvoicecardedfromthenurseryintothebedroom
whereLauraandBeywerehavingaheart-to-heart.

LeavingRichardandZachwiththeawesomeresponsibilityofdeciding
howlongeachchildshouldhegiventimewiththeadorablenew
dark-hairedarrival,Beyheavedawearysighandstretchedoutonthe
bedsoshewasfacingLaura.

"HereIam,stillgreatwithchild,andyou'relyingtherelooking
gorgeouswhenyouonlygavebirthfivedaysago.It'snotfair!"

"Alotyouknow.AssoonasI'mgivenpermission,I'mgoingtohaveto
whipoutmymother'soldexerciseboard,otherwiseZachwillturnmein
foranewmodel."

"That'llhetheday.Honestly,Laura,youhavemybrother-in-lawso
womped,Idon'trecognizehimanymore."

Laura'seyesshone."Youthink?"

"Wasthereeveranyquestion?"Sheraisedherselfononeelbowand
saidseriously,"There'samarkeddifferenceinhimfromafewdays
ago,too."Shepaused,thenconfided,"Iknowthismightsound
strange,buthisbehavior,Ithought,wasmostpeculiarlately.Then
suddenlyit'slikethishiddenpartofhimemerged.There'sanew
confidenceI'veneverseenbefore."

Lauranoddedsagely."It'scalledreliefiandit'sbecauseIdidn't
dieinchildbirth."Theotherreasondidn'tmatteranymore.Besides,
itwassomethingprivatebetweenherandherhusband.

Bev'ssmilefaded.Thetwoofthemstaredhardateachotherwithan
understandingbornoutoftheirloveforZach.

"Ishouldhavefiguredthatoneoutlongbeforenow."

"Tellmeaboutit,"Lauragroaned."Iwasbeginningtothinkhe'd
fallenoutoflovewithme.Thenitcamelikearevelationwhatwas
reallygoingon.I'mafraidI'vemarriedaverycomplicatedman."

Bevsmiled."Jointheclub.AlltheWildemenarethesame.Complex,
buts-o-o-owonderful.Wejusthavetolearntostayonestepaheadof
them.DidyouknowRichardalmostfellapartwhenZachdroveoffwith
youafterthereception?"

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"You'rekidding."

"Nope.ForonceinhislifeRichardhadtofacethefactthatyounow
camefirstinhisyoungerbrother'slife.Afterbeingthekingpinall
theseyears,itwashardtorelinquishit."

Shepattedherstomach."That'Swhyit'sagoodthingmybabyisabout
tomakeanappearance.Little

Zachoughttoexpandmyhusband'sroleofguardianoftherealm."

Laurawasshocked."Bev,Ihadnoidea.Honestly,ZachandIhave
beensohappyIguesswe'vekindofignoredeveryoneelse."

"Don'tyoudareapologize!"

"Apologizeforwhat?"Zachsaidfromthedoorway.Hewasholding
theirhungryinfant.Lauracouldseehewasanatural-bornfatherand
socrazyaboutthebabyhiseveryfearhadfled.

Shesmiledupathim."Forgoingintolaborbeforeshedid."

Anansweringsmiletransformedhisfeatures."Theydon'tcallmeKing
oftheMountainfornothing!Areyoureadytofeedmylittlegirl?"

"Irecognizethatlook,"Bevwhispered."Hewantstobealonewith
you.I'llgatherupourbroodandcallyoutomorrow.Itmightevenbe
fromthehospital."

"Ihopeso."LaurasqueezedBev'shand."I'vegotmyfingerscrossed.
Thankyouforthedarlingoutfitandbooties."

"Anytime."

WithsomedifficultyBevgotoffthebedandgavethebaby'sheada
kissonherwayoutoftheroom.

TheminutethedoorclosedLauraheldoutherarms."Iwantbothof
youherewithme."

Zacheyedhiswifeforamoment.Itseemedhislifehadalwaysbeena
racetowardsomethingelusive,somethingthathadnoname.Butashe
stoodtherewiththeirdaughterinhisarms,Laura'sfaceaglowwith
love,heknewthatlongracewasover.Heknewwhatitwashe'dbeen

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runningtowardallthistime.

Hisshareofheavenonearth.

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