plik

INALLY

…Drake nearly choked on a sip of wine. He blinked a few times.

“You didn’t seriously consider porn, did you?”

Jay shrugged, reddening a little. “For a little bit. There’s a site in

Europe that has lots of hot young guys doing pretty much everything.
And the idea of being paid for sex was sort of interesting.”

Clenching his teeth, Drake took a moment to think why the idea of

Jay involved in porn bothered him so much. He knew of the site Jay
referenced. Jay was the perfect type for that site, as a matter of fact.
But Jay engaging in mass orgies for the camera made him uneasy.

“Well, glad you didn’t get involved in that,” Drake said, neutrally.

“What about the commercials? What happened with your boyfriend?”

Jay downed the rest of his glass of wine and gestured to Drake’s

with a flick of his head. “Want some more?”

“Yeah, sure.”
Jay stood and grabbed Drake’s glass on his way by to the kitchen.

Drake followed him inside to check on the appetizers in the oven.

“What happened was,” Jay said, pouring wine into each of their

glasses, “he abused me. Used to beat the crap out of me. My family
finally got me away from him.”

“Fuck. I hope you reported the bastard to the police.”
“I did, but they didn’t do much. They acted like I was crazy

complaining my boyfriend beat me. He never touched my face, saying
that’s why he was with me, but he’d beat me other places where it was
easier to hide.”

The idea of someone doing that to Jay enraged Drake. Made him

want to punch something…

LSO

HAWN

ANE

At Long Last

The Beach House

The Best Gift

Car Wash

Galaxy’s Heart

The “His” Series

Hitting It Big

The Impersonator

Jake’s Regret

Lawyers In Love

Lost Between

Manfred’s Curse

More Than Anything

More Than Enough

Most Likely To Succeed

The “Only” Series

The Other Side

Pieces

Pulling Apart
Pulling Away

Sorcerer’s Lover, I & II

The Squire

Still The One

Sweet Reunion

Ticket To Ride

Twice In A Lifetime

Until The End Of Time

FINALLY HIS

SHAWN LANE

MBER

UILL

RESS

LLC

http://www.AmberQuill.com

INALLY

MBER

UILL

RESS

OOK

This book is a work of fiction.

All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the

author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously.

Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales,

or events is entirely coincidental.

Amber Quill Press, LLC

http://www.AmberQuill.com

No portion of this book may be transmitted or

reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in

writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief

excerpts used for the purposes of review.

ISBN 978-1-61124-259-1

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 1

“Did you really just turn down a date with that guy?” Geoffrey

Ridgley asked his best friend, Jay Anderson. Geoff’s eyes were
wide, bugged out, like maybe from a cartoon. Well, maybe not that
much.

Jay watched the man, an admittedly good-looking muscular

beach type, like a lifeguard or something, walk away toward the
tropical-themed bar. The man sat on the barstool he’d previously
occupied before weaving his way to his and Geoff’s table.

Jay picked up an onion ring and dipped it in pineapple mango

sauce. He turned his attention back to Geoff.

“Well, yeah, I guess I did.”
“Dude, you’re hopeless. That guy is hot.” Geoff blushed to the

roots of his dark hair. “Or I’d think so if I was gay.”

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Jay rolled his eyes. “Right. Actually he is pretty hot, but I’m

just, you know, not ready to date right now.”

Geoff picked up his hamburger. This was their regular Friday

lunch get-together. Every other Friday they met at Poppy’s
Hawaiian Grill in West Hollywood. Opposite Fridays they usually
met at a pizza place they both liked.

Jay and Geoff had been practically raised together, living

across the street from each other as boys. Geoff had been the first
one Jay had come out to in junior high. Now, Geoff was in college
getting his political science degree with plans to eventually go into
law. He had a perky, pretty blonde girlfriend.

Jay, on the other hand, had decided not to go to college. He’d

barely managed to make it through high school. At the moment,
Jay worked in the cosmetics department of a large department
store.

“You make it sound like you just had a tragic breakup or your

lover died or something,” Geoff said. “Not ready to date. You’re
just hung up on your neighbor.”

Well, yeah.
Jay rested his chin in his hand and moved onion rings around

his plate. “Maybe. He’s twice as hot as that guy was anyhow. But
you know, I want to know something.”

“What?” Geoff spoke around a big mouthful of burger.
“Well, that guy came over here to ask me out, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
Jay shrugged. “How’d he know I was gay? It’s not like I’m

wearing a pink shirt emblazoned with a rainbow or anything.”

Geoff laughed. “No, but you might as well be.”
“Huh?”
“Jay, you are as slim and pretty as a girl. I bet if we asked

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everyone in this restaurant if they thought you were gay they’d all
say yes.” Geoff shrugged. “Besides, we eat here a lot and I think
I’ve seen that guy here before. He’s been scoping you out for a
while.”

Jay frowned. “Eavesdropping you think?” He glanced back at

the man sitting at the bar.

“Could be. Anyway, it’s not the first time you’ve set off gaydar

and you know it.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Jay conceded. “It’s not like I’m trying or

anything.”

“I know.”
“And anyway, how come he didn’t think we were a couple?”
“For one thing, we act more like friends than boyfriends. And

for another, Tammy’s joined us here a few times. He’s probably
seen her with me.”

Jay narrowed his eyes. “Damn it, I hate when you make sense.”
Geoff chuckled. “Annoying, isn’t it?”
“God yes.”
“You should go out with him. Getting laid might do you some

good.”

“I don’t know. I guess maybe if he asks again I might.”
It wasn’t as though his neighbor was remotely interested in Jay.

And Jay happened to know the man was gay. Still not interested.
They were just friends. Just his luck.

“What are you and Tammy doing tonight?”
Geoff squirmed. “Funny you should ask. We’re having dinner

at her parents’ house so I can meet them.”

“Oh. Wow. Getting pretty serious between you two, huh?”
“Yes. So, needless to say I’m really nervous.”
Jay smiled and waved his hand. “Don’t worry, they’ll love

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you.”

“Hope so.” Geoff smirked. “You wouldn’t want to come with

me, would you?”

He choked on the sip of iced tea he had just taken. “What?”
“I wouldn’t have so much pressure if you were there. Everyone

thinks you’re adorable They’d be oohing and ahhing over you
instead of scrutinizing me.”

He rolled his eyes. “First of all, no way, you’re on your own.

And second of all, Tammy didn’t invite me.”

“She would if I asked her. She loves you.”
Jay snorted. “Forget it. I have plans anyway.”
Ah, crap.
He had not meant to say that. Now Geoff would ask questions.
“Yeah? What plans?” Geoff stuffed the last bite of his

hamburger in his mouth.

Sighing, Jay pushed his plate away. “It’s no big deal. I’m

watching a marathon of some movies.”

His friend smirked. “Alone?”
Jay shrugged and mumbled, “There may be a neighbor joining

me.”

“What?”
“A neighbor might be coming over.”
“Uh-huh. Any neighbor I know?”
He huffed. “Fine. Drake Hanover is coming over. Happy?”
Geoff smiled at the waitress who handed him the check. “No,

Jay. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Why isn’t it?”
“You’re hung up on him. Maybe you should stay away from

him so you don’t get hurt. Just something to think about.”

“I’m not going to jump him or anything, Geoff.”

FINALLY HIS

“I know that. As long as you stay away from alcohol anyway.

You get really friendly when you drink, Jay.”

Jay felt his face grow hot. “Shut up. Anyway, I’m not going to

drink. I’ll have tea or something.”

Geoff sighed and took out his wallet. “All right. Just be careful.

I know you can be sensitive.”

“Whatever.”
His friend laughed, then waved away Jay’s money. “I’m

buying this week. Have you ever thought of just asking him out?”

“He’s not interested. Trust me.”
“How do you know?”
“Just some things he’s said to me.”
Geoff frowned. “What? What has he said to you? Do I need to

kick his ass?”

“Oh, for God’s sake.” Jay stood. “I don’t need you to kick

anyone’s ass for me. He just said there are a lot of men who go for
my type so he’s sure I’ll find a boyfriend soon. Making it very
clear he wasn’t one of those men. It’s okay. We can just be
friends.”

“Okay.”
They walked out to the parking lot and to their cars with a

promise from Geoff that he would call tomorrow to let him know
how Tammy’s parents’ dinner went.

* * *

Jay got off work a little late since he’d been helping an older

woman pick out the perfect shade of lipstick. Now he had to rush
out of the department store and over to the supermarket to buy
snacks for his marathon with Drake.

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He hurried past the jewelry department, resisting the urge to

stop and survey the latest bling. Past the perfume, past the shoes.
Almost to the exit.

“Jay! Wait!”
He froze, recognizing the voice of his co-worker, Franny.
Franny, a freakishly tall, thin, pretty black girl, gestured to him

to come to her accessories department. All right, maybe she wasn’t
freakishly tall. But she was taller than Jay.

Biting his lip, Jay turned to walk the few feet into her display

area.

“Franny, I’m off work.”
“I know, I figured. Listen.” She grabbed his arm, her long,

polished nails sinking in. “Guess what came in today?”

Jay sighed. “I don’t know. Belts?”
She giggled. “No. Would I call you over here for some old

belts?”

“Well, maybe if they were sequined.”
Franny snorted. “Scarves, Jay. A ton of new scarves.”
He blinked, licked his lips. “Scarves? Really? Where?”
Her smile was triumphant, but Jay didn’t care. He wanted to

see the new scarves. Damn, he loved scarves. They were his
favorite accessory.

She pulled him along. “There’s one in particular I just know

you will die for.”

And then he saw the display of scarves. Knit scarves. Silk

scarves. Polyester scarves. Of every color. His eyes widened.

“Wait. You haven’t even seen the one I’m talking about.”

Franny hurried behind the display. “I hid it so you could see it.”

Jay reached for a pink and orange knit scarf. He wrapped it

around his neck and stopped to admire it in the nearby mirror.

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Franny appeared in the mirror holding the most stunning water

color  silk  scarf  he’d  ever  seen.  Blue,  purple,  green  and  pink.  He
threw  the  knit  scarf  in  the  general  direction  of  the  display  and
reached  for  the  water  color  scarf,  his  fingers  smoothing  along  the
sinfully silky material.

“Isn’t it to die for?” Franny demanded.
“Yes!” Jay wrapped it around himself, admiring it.
“It looks like it was made for you. You have to get it.”
He nodded. “How much is it?”
“Eighty-five.”
Instantly his excitement faded. Reality set in and he blinked.

The old Jay would have bought it, anyway, even though he knew
he couldn’t afford it. Worried about how he would pay his bills
later. But he’d been determined to be more responsible.

He removed the scarf and handed it to her. “I can barely afford

my one-bedroom apartment as it is.”

“Ah, come on, Jay. It’s perfect.”
“It’s beautiful, Franny. But no.”
“But you love scarves.”
“I know.”
Franny frowned. “When was the last time you bought a new

one?”

“Last month. It was half the price of this one and I shouldn’t

have bought it. I had to eat ramen noodles for two weeks straight.”

“If I loan you the money—”
“I’d still have to pay you eventually. No. And in fact, I have to

go. I’ve got to stop at the grocery store and I’m already running
late.” He smiled. “Thanks for thinking of me. The scarf is
beautiful.”

Jay turned away, ignoring her pout, and walked determinedly

FINALLY HIS

toward the store exit. He couldn’t give in. And besides he had
plenty of scarves at home.

He found his car in the parking lot, grabbed the scarf he wasn’t

allowed to wear at the store and wrapped it around him, and then
headed for the store nearest his apartment. But the traffic was
horrendous. He swore all of West Hollywood was against him.

Yeah, he supposed he was foolish to get all excited over a

platonic date with Drake. The guy of his dreams. Unfortunately,
he’d been dreaming about it forever because it just wasn’t going to
happen.

Finally, having spent thirty dollars on chips, dip, and little

appetizers, Jay made it home. He lived in an old building that had
been built like centuries ago. Well, maybe not that long, but Jay
had no idea when it was built. Just well before his time, anyway.

It was an old converted hotel, and some of the old-timers

claimed it was haunted, which Jay cheerfully ignored. His
apartment was on the second floor, and the elevator almost never
worked, so he didn’t even bother heading toward the elevator and
made his way immediately to the stairwell.

Jay opened the door that led off from the stairwell to the second

floor  landing,  turning  to  go  down  the  long  hallway  to  the  end
where  his  apartment  was  situated.  Last  one  on  the  right  on  this
floor.  Drake’s  was  the  apartment  just  before  his.  Drake  stood
outside Jay’s door, raising his fist to knock.

“Oh, Drake. Sorry, I’m late.” Jay hurried down the hall giving

Drake an apologetic smile.

Drake returned the smile, his gaze dropping first to the grocery

bags in Jay’s hand and then to the lemon-lime scarf around Jay’s
neck. “It’s okay. New scarf?”

Jay stuck his key in the lock. “Oh, no. I got this one a couple

FINALLY HIS

months ago. I did see a to- die-for one today at the store.” He
stepped aside to let Drake inside.

Drake was Jay’s dream man in every way. Tall, probably close

to  six  foot,  muscular,  dark  hair,  dark  eyes,  a  little  scruffy  around
the  edges.  He  knew  Drake  made  a  living  as  a  homicide  detective
and it showed with his rugged handsomeness. At least to Jay it did.
Plus  Drake  was  a  great  guy,  kind,  sexy,  interesting.  And  gay.
Apparently he had terrible taste in men, though.

Jay headed straight for the kitchen. “I got us some snacks.

Chips and dip. I got stuff to make guacamole, too, if we want.” He
pulled out boxes from one of the bags. “And these little appetizer
thingies. I know they’re kind of frou-frou, but they sounded good.”

Drake stopped just inside the door of his apartment and

grimaced. Jay noticed he had his cell phone in his hand.

“We don’t have to have them if you don’t like them,” Jay said,

biting his lip.

“No, it’s not that.” Drake sighed. “Actually, I was coming over

to ask if we could have a rain check for tonight.”

And just like that, every ounce of excitement and good mood

was gone. Jay swallowed, feeling like a total idiot.

“Oh.”
“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just my friend Ross broke up with his

boyfriend and he asked me to go over to his place,” Drake said,
shifting awkwardly.

Jay nodded. “All right. It’s okay. I mean, we just made these

plans because neither of us had anything to do, and now you do, so
it’s fine. No big deal.”

He turned away, opened his freezer, and shoved the boxes of

little appetizers inside. Or tried to, anyway. The boxes were
surprisingly bulky and his freezer, not surprisingly, was tiny. He

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 2

Drake raised his cell phone to his ear. “Listen, Ross, I really

can’t cancel my plans after all.”

Ross Mendolson snorted. “What? Why?”
He glanced toward Jay’s closed apartment door and stepped

down the hall, a little away from the apartment. He hated telling
Ross he couldn’t come over. He’d been in love with Ross most of
his life. They’d been lovers years ago, broke up over something
stupid, and now Ross was free of his latest boyfriend once more.

“The thing of it is, the guy I had plans with is sort of sensitive

and I think he’s really hurt by my canceling on him.”

“Hmm. I thought you said this guy was just a friend.”
“Oh, he is.” Jay was way too young for him. Sweet and pretty,

but a good ten years younger than him. “But I think he’s pretty

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lonely. We planned this a while ago and I don’t think he really has
many friends.”

“But I need you, Drake. I can’t believe Stan walked out on

me.”

Drake leaned against the wall, and closed his eyes, thinking

about Ross and his on-again off-again boyfriend, Stan. “He’s done
it before.”

“I know, but he was so insistent that this time it’s over.” Ross’s

voice wavered. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he means it this time.”

“I’ll come over first thing tomorrow morning. We’ll have

breakfast,” Drake said. “I’m sorry.”

“Fine.” Ross sighed. “Are you sure this guy is just a friend?”
“Definitely. He’s not my type, too young.”
“Come over as soon as you can in the morning. You still have

your key?”

“Yeah.”
“Good. Make me breakfast.”
Drake smiled. “All right, deal. Again, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too. See you tomorrow.”
And Ross hung up.
He blew out a breath and tried to remind himself he was being

a good friend giving up the opportunity to be with Ross tonight.
Part of him knew he was stupid to go running over to Ross’s house
anyway. If Stan came back, Ross would take him. It was a pattern
for the two of them and, really, it was a pattern for Drake to always
be there for Ross when Stan dumped him.

Besides, running over to Ross’s wasn’t necessarily a guarantee

of anything. Ross and Stan had broken up three other times over
the last year and, yeah, usually sex was involved, even though
Drake knew he shouldn’t give into Ross.

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But this time might be different.
Stupid.
Drake had been devastated when Ross had taken Stan back last

time. Crying and telling Drake he was sorry but he loved Stan.
Now, here he was all over again.

Shaking his head, Drake straightened from the wall, pocketed

his cell phone and walked back to Jay’s front door. Tapping lightly
on it, he turned the knob and stepped back inside.

“Sorry about that,” Drake said with a smile.
Jay stood on the balcony of his apartment, the sliding glass

door left open, as he looked out over the street below. He still wore
the lemon-lime wool scarf around his neck, but he had changed
from his work clothes and now wore what looked like painted on
jeans accentuating his cute bubble butt and a thin white T-shirt. He
faced away from Drake so he wasn’t sure if the shirt was plain or
had writing on the front.

He frowned when he noticed the cigarette in Jay’s hand.
“Hey, I thought you didn’t smoke anymore.”
Jay turned to face him, his lips twisted, his pinked cheeks even

pinker than usual. He stubbed out the cigarette on the metal railing.
“I don’t. Not really.”

“You shouldn’t even have any in your apartment.” Drake knew

he sounded like the pompous policeman he was. He couldn’t help
it. That was him. “Come inside.”

Jay stepped back into the apartment and closed the slider. His

plump lips looked redder than normal, like he’d been chewing on
them. “I thought you were leaving.”

“I changed my mind. I’ll go to Ross’s tomorrow instead. You

and I had plans.” Drake smiled. Jay didn’t return the smile; if
anything, he looked sadder still.

FINALLY HIS

“You didn’t have to do that. I said it was okay.”
Jay’s T-shirt had big red kissing lips on the front with the

words  You  Know  You  Want  to  Kiss  Me  above  them.  His  golden
blond  hair  was  a  mass  of  curls,  almost  ringlets,  giving  him  an
angelic  look.  Really,  Jay  was  easily  the  prettiest  man  he’d  ever
seen. He knew quite a few bears who’d practically cream in their
pants over a sweet little twink like Jay.

“I know you did, but it wasn’t okay with me. We made plans

and I’m not changing them.”

Jay nodded. “All right. Do…do you want something to drink?”
Drake smiled. “Sure. What have you got?”
Jay shrugged a little and walked into the kitchen, opening the

refrigerator. “Um. I’ve got Diet Coke, iced tea and some wine.” He
looked sheepishly back at Drake. “No beer.”

“What kind of wine you have? I’m off duty.”
“I have Chablis and a Riesling.”
“I’ll have the Riesling.”
Jay took out two wineglasses from a kitchen cabinet above the

stove and filled them with the chilled white wine. He handed one
to Drake.

“Now, how about those appetizers?”
Jay took a sip of his wine and shook his head. “You don’t

really want them.”

It was all he could do to hold back a sigh. He adored Jay, he

really did, but sometimes it took an extreme amount of patience to
deal with the brat. And in his six month acquaintance with Jay, he
had learned Jay could definitely be bratty.

“I do want them. I’m starving.” Drake went to the freezer and

took the boxes out, glanced at the oven temperature listed, and
turned the oven on to preheat. “Are you going to make the

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guacamole or am I?”

Jay stared mutinously at him for a moment, his full lips almost

downturned in a pout, and then, as though he changed to a different
person, Jay suddenly smiled, a sweet, sexy as sin smile. “I’ll make
the guac; you make the dip.”

* * *

A short time later, they sat on the couch, side by side,

munching on chips, dip and guacamole while their appetizers
cooked in the oven.

“Are you sure it’s okay to eat on the couch?” Drake asked, as

he just missed spilling a glop of guacamole on the cushion.

“Oh, sure. It’s just a hand-me-down old sofa from my sister. I

think one of her kids barfed on it when he was a baby.”

Drake grimaced. “You need a new couch.”
Jay laughed. “Yeah, I need a lot of new things I can’t afford.”
“You could go back to school.”
“College costs money, too. Besides, I never got really good

grades when I was in school.” Jay lifted his long skinny legs and
rested them on the coffee table. “I was incredibly average.”

“You average? I find that hard to believe.”
The sweet smile laced with just a smidge of sexiness was back.

“It’s true. How about you? Were you good in school?”

“You mean a million years ago?” Drake laughed. Hell, in three

years, he’d get notices about his twentieth high school reunion.
Which reminded him he had a good ten years on Jay. “I had a 3.6
GPA.”

Jay sighed. “Figures.”
“Okay, so college isn’t for you. How about something else?

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Trade school? Chef school?”

“Dude, you don’t remember when I tried to make you dinner?”
He winced. Yeah, he did remember, unfortunately. Jay had

been making some kind of chicken spaghetti skillet thing that he’d
burned beyond recognition. He’d made it in Drake’s apartment and
it took him days to get rid of the burned food smell. Never mind
waving frantically at the smoke alarms when they’d screeched
loudly during the disaster.

Drake nodded and drank some wine. “Yeah, okay. You could

try the police academy.”

Jay laughed. “Seriously? Do I look like cop material to you?”
Well, he couldn’t deny in his years on the force he’d not seen

anyone who looked remotely like Jay. Although for a second, his
mind imagined Jay in a sexy policeman’s stripper costume
threatening to arrest him.

“Point taken.” Drake cleared his throat. “Still there must be

better paying jobs than the department store.”

“Oh, I’m sure. But there’s a chance I can make assistant

manager some day. That would be cool.”

“Yeah, that would be. With looks like yours I’m surprised you

didn’t go into modeling or acting.”

“I thought about it at one time,” Jay admitted. “My first

boyfriend directed commercials. And then he also knew a guy who
produced porn.”

Drake nearly choked on a sip of wine. He blinked a few times.

“You didn’t seriously consider porn, did you?”

Jay shrugged, reddening a little. “For a little bit. There’s a site

in Europe that has lots of hot young guys doing pretty much
everything. And the idea of being paid for sex was sort of
interesting.”

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Clenching his teeth, Drake took a moment to think why the

idea of Jay involved in porn bothered him so much. He knew of the
site Jay referenced. Jay was the perfect type for that site, as a
matter of fact. But Jay engaging in mass orgies for the camera
made him uneasy.

“Well, glad you didn’t get involved in that,” Drake said,

neutrally. “What about the commercials? What happened with
your boyfriend?”

Jay downed the rest of his glass of wine and gestured to

Drake’s with a flick of his head. “Want some more?”

“Yeah, sure.”
Jay stood and grabbed Drake’s glass on his way by to the

kitchen. Drake followed him inside to check on the appetizers in
the oven.

“What happened was,” Jay said, pouring wine into each of their

glasses, “he abused me. Used to beat the crap out of me. My family
finally got me away from him.”

“Fuck. I hope you reported the bastard to the police.”
“I did, but they didn’t do much. They acted like I was crazy

complaining my boyfriend beat me. He never touched my face,
saying that’s why he was with me, but he’d beat me other places
where it was easier to hide.”

The idea of someone doing that to Jay enraged Drake. Made

him want to punch something. But he didn’t want to show anger to
Jay, because he wasn’t mad at him, so Drake blew out a breath.
“I’m sorry. But I’m glad you got away from him. I think the food
is done.”

Jay smiled. “Good, I’m hungry. Maybe I should have bought

more. Do you think it’s enough?”

“If not, we’ll order a pizza later. What movies are we

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watching?”

“Whatever you want. I have a lot to choose from.” Jay took a

big gulp of wine, then hiccupped. He covered his mouth. “Oops.”

Drake laughed. “Maybe you should slow down on the wine,

Jay.”

“I wasn’t going to have any,” Jay admitted. “I was going to

have tea.”

“Why?”
He bit his lip and shrugged, handing a pot holder to Drake.

“I’m, you know, not very good with alcohol. The first time I got
really drunk? I did something very stupid.”

Drake frowned as he took the little mushroom puffs out of the

oven. “You didn’t drink and drive, did you?”

Jay rolled his eyes. “No, officer.”
“Then what?”
“Well, I was at a party and I offered blow jobs to all the guys

who were there.” Jay turned dark crimson. He bowed his head and
turned away.

Drake swallowed, pushing away the image of Jay on his knees

offering Drake a blow job because he’d had too many glasses of
wine. Jay was a friend and Drake loved Ross, he reminded himself.
“I see.”

“I know.” Jay sighed.
“Did…they didn’t take you up on it, did they?”
Jay bit his lip and nodded. “Some did, yeah,” he whispered.
Drake opened his mouth to say Jay needed a keeper, but

decided that sounded exactly like something an older cop would
say to a hot young twink and he wasn’t going to go there. Instead,
he took out the other tray of appetizers, little mini-quiches. “Paper
plates?”

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 3

Jay decided halfway through his third glass of wine that he

definitely shouldn’t have poured the third one. Or the second one,
probably. Hell, now that he really thought about it, he should have
stuck to tea. He was horny and fidgety. And he so needed to
behave himself.

He watched Drake out of the corner of his eye. The man

seemed fixated on the movie, which was good. Jay didn’t want him
to notice that Jay was fixated on him.

They’d decided to watch a mix of movies instead of going with

one particular theme and right now they were watching Apollo 13.
Seemed safe and non-sexy enough. Jay needed something that
wouldn’t make him feel all gooey romantic.

Jay shifted subtly closer to Drake on the couch. Or he thought

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it was subtle. In his inebriated state he might well be mistaken.
That gave him pause, so he frowned at his wineglass. While it was
true he’d never met Ross, Drake’s friend, Jay hated him just the
same.

He knew all about Ross. All about how once Ross had been

Drake’s boyfriend and how Drake still wanted him. And how Ross
always jerked Drake around. But Drake let him.

Jay took another sip of wine. Or was it a gulp? Great, now he

was drinking while depressed. That could only lead to bad shit.

“So, tell me about this scarf you liked. You didn’t buy it?”
Drake’s voice made him jump a bit since he thought the man

had been engrossed in the ordeal of the astronauts.

Drake smiled at him. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s okay.” Jay swirled the wine in his glass. “It was a

beautiful water color scarf with blues and greens and purples. I
loved it. But no, I didn’t buy it.”

“Why not?”
“’Cause it was eighty-five bucks.” Jay grimaced. “It’s at the

store and my co-worker, Franny, showed it to me. She tried to talk
me into getting it, but I can’t afford that.”

Just like that his mood went down further still and he finished

the remainder of the wine in his glass. Drake reached over and
took the glass from his hand.

“I think that’s probably enough, Jay. Your face is all red.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I tend to get red when I drink, too. Damn

fair skin.”

“There’s nothing wrong with not being a big drinker, believe

me.” Drake stood and carried both empty wineglasses out to the
kitchen. “You need more to eat? We could still call for that pizza
you mentioned earlier.”

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He probably ought to eat more. It might stop him from

throwing himself at Drake. What a disaster that would be. If he
could keep from throwing himself at the delivery dude, so much
the better.

“Jay?”
“Oh. Yeah, maybe a pizza would be a good idea.” Ah, but crap,

he didn’t have any cash lying around and he’d already probably
put more on his debit card than he had in the bank when he went to
the store.

Drake had his cell phone out, ready to call.
“Um, maybe there’s something we can fix here,” he blurted

out.

His friend frowned and Jay couldn’t blame him. He’d just

shouted out those words like he was yelling fire or something. No
more drinking, Jay reminded himself.

“You don’t want a pizza? Don’t you claim pizza is one of the

food groups?”

Oh, sure fine time to bring up what a dork he was. Jay rolled

his eyes.

He shrugged. Or he thought he did. Wasn’t sure. “I’m not as

hungry as I thought.”

“What’s really going on?”
Jay slouched. “Fine. I don’t have a lot of funds right now so I

can’t pay for a pizza. Happy?”

“Yes.” Drake turned his back and spoke into the phone to order

a pizza. When he finished, he turned back. “I never said you had to
pay. I’m perfectly capable of buying the pizza. Just tell me when
you can’t pay. It’s no big deal. You want money for the stuff you
bought at the store?”

And just like that Drake was taking his wallet out.

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“No. No, I’m good.” He wasn’t probably, his account would go

into overdraft, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Drake that.
He had to have some pride. Didn’t he?

Drake walked over to where he sat on the couch and shoved

two twenty dollar bills into his hand. “Here.”

“That’s too much.”
“All right.” Drake took back one twenty and replaced it with a

ten dollar bill. “Take it. And don’t argue.”

Jay opened his mouth to do just that, in spite of Drake’s I’m a

cop, you have to do what I say voice, but noticing the very
stubborn glint in Drake’s eyes changed his mind. He clutched the
money. “Thanks.”

Drake smiled. “No worries.” And then he ruffled Jay’s hair like

he was a damn dog. He turned back toward the kitchen. “I’ll make
you some tea.”

Rolling his eyes, Jay pushed off the couch and managed to

stand. Somewhat unsteady on his feet, Jay stuffed the money in his
pocket, and went into the kitchen himself. “I can do it, you know.”

“Why is it so hard for you to let me help you?”
Jay scowled. “What? It’s not.”
Drake snorted. “Then why the hell do you fight me over every

damn thing? Is it because you think of me in an adversarial way?”

“Huh?”
Drake had Jay’s teakettle in his hand and he turned on the

water in the kitchen sink to fill it. “You know, like I’m your
domineering older brother or something.”

Oh, hell.
If Drake thinking of him as a little brother wasn’t a sobering

thought, Jay didn’t know what was. It wasn’t as though he didn’t
guess that Drake didn’t think of him at all sexually, but to have the

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words flung in his face with such finality, he just wanted to, well,
be sick.

“Fuck.” His eyes wide, Jay covered his mouth quickly as he

realized that’s exactly what was about to happen. He turned and
ran down the hall to the bathroom.

God, could he be any more embarrassing? He dropped to the

floor and upchucked into the toilet. When he was done, he
struggled to his feet and held onto the bathroom sink. He frowned
at his pale reflection.

Great.
“You look fucking fantastic,” he snarled at his own face. His

skin white, his eyes red, his hair crazy messed up like some mad
scientist. Jay doubted he’d ever looked worse. And over three
stupid glasses of wine?

He rinsed his mouth first with water, then grabbed the bottle of

Scope. Then after he’d swished that around, Jay ran his fingers
through his hair to make it at least look sort of tame. He didn’t
think he was too successful.

“Jay? You okay?” Drake asked him from outside the bathroom

door.

Jay winced. “Yeah, I’m coming out.”
He went to the door and opened it. “Uh, sorry. I’m not very

good with wine. Or any alcohol really.”

Drake smiled. “Hey, it’s okay. Come on and sit on the couch.”
Jay was a little surprised when Drake took his hand and led him

to the sofa and gently pushed him down to sit.

“I’ve got your tea made. Be right back.”
Drake came back only a few seconds later holding a steaming

mug filled with mint tea. “I thought peppermint would be good for
your stomach.”

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His eyes watered a little and Jay looked away. He wished he

had Drake around for real to worry about him, and the fact that
Drake wanted that user Ross made him unbelievably sad.

“Not fair,” he mumbled.
“Hmm?” Drake asked, sitting next to him.
“I just said it wasn’t fair I interrupted the movie.”
“Nah, it’s fine. Seen it before. Jay, if you don’t handle wine

well, how come you even have any?”

He blushed. “Well, I get them as gifts. Like at Christmas. One

of my aunts gives me wine every year. So I figure when guests
come over, I can serve it to them.”

Not that he ever had a ton of guests. He had Drake sometimes.

And Geoff and Tammy a few times. The few times he had sex, he
usually went to the other guy’s place.

Drake nodded. “Okay. But if you want my advice, I’d stay

away from it if I were you, considering everything you’ve told
me.”

Jay felt a little tempted to do the loser sign over his head, but

refrained. He was pretty sure Drake already knew it.

His doorbell rang.
“That’ll be the pizza.” Drake stood, went to the door, and came

back holding a large pizza box just a couple minutes later. “Think
you can eat some?”

“Yeah, I seem to have barfed up everything else.”

* * *

It was one in the morning before the last movie they had

decided to watch ended. Jay stood, stretched and yawned. Man, he
was beat. And would have gone to bed hours ago, probably, if

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Drake hadn’t been over. Even now when he was near dead on his
feet, he didn’t want Drake to go back to his own apartment.

Drake glanced at his watch. “I didn’t realize how late it was.

Sorry to keep you up so late.”

He smiled. “Nah, it’s okay. I can sleep in.”
“No work tomorrow? Or should I say later today?”
“Yeah, but not until late afternoon. And then I’m off Sunday,

so it’s good.” Jay walked with him to the door. “What about you?”

“I’ve got a rare weekend off,” Drake said with a big grin. “I’m

going over to Ross’s in the morning.”

He’d almost forgotten about Ross. Stupid, of course.
“Hey, I’m sorry about your plans with him.”
“Don’t worry. You and I had plans first.”
Jay nodded. “But he was having some kind of crisis, right?”
“Yeah, he broke up with his boyfriend. Again.” Drake laughed,

though Jay thought it sounded a bit forced.

“Think it’s for good this time?”
Drake sighed. “I don’t know. I hope so.”
“It’s still the judge, right?” Jay asked. He remembered Drake

telling him that Ross, an assistant district attorney, lived with a
judge.

“That’s right. On again, off again.” Drake opened Jay’s door.

“Monday I’m right back at work. There’s a homicide that might go
cold soon. We’re hoping to prevent that.”

“I hope you can. Have a good weekend, Drake.”
“You, too. You sure you’re feeling better?”
He forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m good. Night.”
“Good night.”
And then Drake was gone, headed next door to his own

apartment. He closed and locked his door and turned off the

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 4

“May I help you, sir?” the young, attractive black woman asked

Drake as he surveyed the display of scarves.

Drake didn’t quite know why he’d decided to stop at the

department store where Jay worked before he made it to Ross’s
house. He supposed it was because Jay had looked so sad the night
before.

He smiled. “I’m looking to buy a scarf for a friend.”
“Oh, terrific. As you can see, we have a great selection.”
“Yes, but actually I already know the one my friend liked. It

was a water color silk scarf with a lot of colors.”

The woman, her name tag said Franny—Drake was pretty sure

this was the one Jay had mentioned—nodded. “Sure, I know the
one. What a generous gift for her.”

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He flushed. “Actually, my friend is a man.” And why had he

told her that? Really, what business was it of some store clerk who
he bought the scar for? “Anyway, do you have it?”

Franny smiled. “Yes, it’s right here.” And she took a few steps

to a display area with scarves, but they looked to be knit scarves,
and he was starting to get annoyed when she reached to the back
and pulled out a silk looking scarf of blue, purple, green and pink.

Drake could totally see Jay getting excited over such a scarf.

He didn’t get the younger man’s love for extravagant scarves, in
Southern California of all places, but just the thought of the scarf
draped around Jay’s neck had him grinning.

“Yes, that has to be the one he liked,” Drake said, taking out

his wallet. He recalled Jay said it was something like eighty
dollars. Normally he would scoff at such a thing for a flimsy scarf
and, really, he wasn’t quite sure why he was willing to pay it now.
But, hell, he wanted to get it for Jay and the reason didn’t matter.

He followed Franny to the register where she rang it up. He

tried not to wince when the charge came out to over ninety dollars
as he handed over his credit card.

“Would you like a gift box?” Franny asked.
“Yes, thanks.”
As Drake left the store and walked out to his car, he tried to

think of an occasion where he could give Jay such an expensive
present. His birthday had already passed for the year and
Christmas was still a few months away. And he wasn’t too keen on
waiting.

After leaving it in his trunk, he decided he’d just give it to Jay

next time he saw him. The hell with it.

Putting it out of his mind, Drake turned to his anticipated day

with Ross. Having been through Ross’s other breakups with

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various  boyfriends,  including  Stan,  Drake  knew  they’d  probably
spend  a  good  portion  of  the  day  having  sex.  Sure  he’d  always
ended  up  feeling  used,  especially  when  Ross  inevitably  didn’t
really  want  him  and  went  back  to  whatever  boyfriend,  but  he
couldn’t  seem  to  break  this  endless  cycle  of  always  running  to
Ross’s rescue.

The night before, though, when he’d put Ross off to stay with

Jay had been a first.

Drake parked his sedan in Ross’s long winding driveway, and

after turning off the engine, he studied the house. It was a three-
story mansion really. In one of the best of the best neighborhoods
in Beverly Hills. It had belonged to some old-time Hollywood
legend. Drake had forgotten who.

As an assistant district attorney, Ross couldn’t afford such a

house any more than Drake could on his detective salary. But this
house actually belonged to the judge, Stan.

It was funny to Drake that every time Stan took off after he and

Ross had a fight, Stan was the one who left his cushy house, and
Ross stayed in luxury. He supposed it showed just how much Ross
really had Stan wrapped around his finger.

Just like you.
The front door opened when he approached and Ross stood in

the doorway wearing only a bathrobe. His sapphire blue eyes were
red as though he’d been crying, his inky black hair stood on end
every which way, and his pale ivory skin was marked by two
bright pink spots on each cheek. He was breathtaking.

“What took you so damn long?” Ross demanded, his voice

laced with scorn and thick with tears. “I’ve been calling and
calling.”

Drake winced. “Sorry, I forgot to turn my phone on this

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morning.”

“Bastard,” Ross said, but pulled him inside the house and flung

his arms around Drake. Before he could say anything, Ross’s lips
were on his, his tongue demanding entrance into Drake’s mouth.

* * *

A few hours later, or at least judging by the time on the large

grandfather clock in the bedroom, Drake woke in an empty bed.

Stan and Ross’s empty bed.
He ran his hand over his eyes, rubbing sleep from them. He

could hear the sound of the shower in the master bath, so he
imagined that’s where Ross had gone.

What the fuck was he doing anyway?
He was fucking a guy who’d just barely broken up with his

boyfriend. And really, they probably hadn’t broken up, it was just a
fight. Once again he was Ross’s rebound fuck and he felt like a
piece of shit.

Because that’s what you are.
Every time Ross snapped his fingers, Drake ran to his side like

a puppy. What was it about Ross that he just couldn’t seem to let
go?

When he’d first met Ross, the man had been sweet and cute,

and easily wormed his way into Drake’s heart. Everyone’s really.
The stunningly gorgeous, vivacious, clever young man had been
very popular. And Drake had fallen hard.

It had been Ross’s decision when they were college boyfriends,

and Ross the first and only guy Drake had loved, to end their
relationship. Over a stupid jealousy thing. Ross had always been a
bit of a flirt and Drake hadn’t liked it. Ross decided they were

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better friends than lovers and, at the time, Drake had reluctantly
agreed.

Over the years, Ross had changed. Or maybe Drake noticed his

selfishness, his petulance more than he used to notice. What once
had been charming had turned annoying. Except he still couldn’t
seem to shake his feelings for Ross, and here he was once again.

He got out of bed and pulled on his jeans. It was nearing

evening, and Drake figured he probably ought to head home. But
first he wanted some answers out of Ross. It was easier to talk to
the man when he wasn’t crawling up Drake’s body.

Turning the knob of the bathroom door, Drake walked inside,

noting Ross stood under the shower spray in a large glass shower.
It was one of those fancy, expensive ones with handmade peach-
colored tiles, and clear etched glass. Probably could fit six people
in there.

Ross turned and smiled. “You’re awake. Why don’t you come

join me?”

Drake barely resisted rolling his eyes. The last thing he needed

was another sex fest with Ross. And he didn’t kid himself that it
would be anything else.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you.”
“Talk? Can’t that wait until later?”
“Why should it?”
“’Cause right now I’d rather you come in here and fuck me.”
His stupid cock liked the sound of that because it swelled in his

jeans. Forcing his brain to override his cock, Drake sighed.

“What happened between you and Stan?”
Ross sniffed and turned his back, showing his perfectly tanned

ass to Drake. Of course he’d done it on purpose. It wasn’t a natural
tan. Ross went to a tanning place, but it was still sexy all over.

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“Ross?”
Ross shrugged. “I got horny while he was on a business trip.”
“So, you got someone else to fuck you and Stan found out?”
“He came home early, the bastard. He caught us.”
Though Ross hadn’t turned around, Drake knew he was

pouting. He could hear it in his voice.

Jesus.
“I’m surprised he didn’t throw you out,” Drake said.
Ross sniffed again. “He wouldn’t. He won’t, Drake. Not ever.”
Unfortunately, Drake figured that was probably true. Stan was

more hung up on Ross than Drake was. And it really was pathetic.

“When’s he coming back, Ross?”
Ross turned off the water and opened the shower door. His wet

dark hair was plastered to his head and water droplets dotted his
face. He looked like a movie star or a Greek god.

“I’m thinking tonight,” Ross said as he rubbed a big fluffy

white towel all over his body, making Drake harder still.

Drake forced himself to think through the haze of lust, knowing

full well Ross was playing him on purpose. “And you don’t think
he’s going to find out about us?”

Ross shrugged. “He’s the one who walked out. He knows I’m

not a saint.”

“Jesus, Ross. How long have you been cheating on Stan,

anyway?”

Striding past him, naked, Ross went to the other side of the

bedroom to the closet. “It’s not like I’ve got a new lover every
damn day, Drake. Just, you know, when Stan’s not available,
sometimes I get lonely.”

“Didn’t he just walk out on you yesterday?”
“Yeah, so?”

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Drake sighed. “He was barely gone ten minutes and you were

calling me to come over and service you.”

“Don’t be crass.”
“I don’t know what else to call it.” Drake couldn’t help but feel

a healthy dose of self-loathing. He picked up his shirt. “I’m going
home.”

“Okay, but I’m coming with you.”
“What?”
Ross rolled his eyes as he pulled a tank top over his head. “I

can’t be here when Stan comes back, Drake.”

And Drake realized he was getting really sick of Ross’s games.

Especially since they always seemed to use and hurt people.

“Why the hell not?”
“I’m not ready to kiss and make up. He hurt me,” Ross said.
“Then get a hotel room.”
“Come on, Drake, baby, don’t be that way. Let me stay at your

place tonight.”

“You said it was over for good,” Drake pointed out, knowing

he sounded…hell, he was…stupid.

Ross sighed and sat on the bed to shimmy into a pair of skinny

black jeans. “I always say that and you know it’s never true. I love
him.”

“If you love him, Ross, why do you pull this shit?”
“I don’t know. I can’t help myself. Please? I’m sure we’ll be

back together tomorrow, but I can’t just be waiting at home for
him tonight. It’s Saturday.”

“Fine, but you’re staying on the sofa bed in the living room.”
“What? Why?” Ross pouted, his full round lip sticking out

adorably. An act of course.

“Because, I’m sick of being your go-to fuck. I should have put

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a stop to it before.”

“I love you, Drake, you know that.”
He didn’t know that. Not at all.
“Even if that is true, you don’t love me the way I want you to

love me. You wouldn’t be with Stan or anyone else if you did.”

Ross stood. “I care about you and I love having sex with you.

Isn’t that enough?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Look, you can come with

me this time, but this is it, Ross. You can’t keep calling me every
time Stan pisses you off or you piss him off.”

“Okay, fine,” Ross said. “But let’s get out of here now before

he comes.” He grabbed Drake’s arm. “Since you were supposed to
make me breakfast and didn’t, you can buy me dinner on the way.”

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 5

“Just show it around to your neighbors and co-workers.”
Jay grimaced as he flipped through the brochure his sister,

Rebecca, had brought to the store yesterday during his shift. His
nephew’s school was having a fundraiser. The brochure contained,
as usual, overpriced waxy-tasting candy and baked goods, as well
as loads and loads of wrapping paper. The rolls of paper were so
fat it looked to Jay like it would never have to be bought again.

He switched his cell phone to his other ear and poured boiling

water into his teacup. “I don’t know, Bec. I don’t think anyone I
know really wants any of this stuff.”

She snorted. “Nobody does. You aren’t buying it to have the

stuff, it’s to support the school.”

“Peanuttles? Does anyone still eat those?” He frowned at the

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can of toffee covered peanuts.

“Mom ordered five cans.”
“Crap.” He tossed his orange spice teabag into the trash bin

under the sink and went to sit on the couch in the living room.

“You do want to help out your nephew, don’t you?”
“Well.”
“Harry’s brother already has ten orders,” Rebecca said of her

husband. “You wouldn’t want him to be the better uncle would
you?”

Heaven forbid.
“I guess not.”
“Not exactly the enthusiasm I was going for, but it’ll do. Ask

that neighbor you like. What’s his name?”

“Drake.”
“Right. He’s gay, too, isn’t he?”
“Yes, but—”
“Just flirt with him a little, Jay. I bet he’ll order something.”
Jay folded his legs underneath him and took a sip of his tea.

“For a minute I thought you were trying to pimp me out for the
sake of Andy’s school.”

She laughed. “No, no, I wouldn’t go that far. Just turn on the

charm a little. You’re cute as hell.”

“Unfortunately, Drake doesn’t think so. I doubt my alleged

cuteness will go far, but I’ll ask him.”

“Ask the people at the store, too. Maybe even the customers.”
“No, Bec, that’s against the rules. Isn’t he going door to door to

sell?”

“Too dangerous. Nobody does that anymore.”
“Oh. All right, I’ll do the best I can. But no promises.”
“Let me know by next Friday how you do. Bye.”

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“Bye,” Jay said and hit end call.
Well, today was Sunday, and Drake did say he wasn’t working

this weekend, so he supposed he could go over and show him the
brochure. He was pretty sure he heard him come home last night.

He hadn’t gotten up that long ago and had just thrown on an

old pair of jeans and a T-shirt, figuring he didn’t have to see
anybody today so he’d be lazy. But Jay wondered if he ought to go
shower now and take care with his appearance if he was going over
to see Drake.

Then he reminded himself that Drake wasn’t attracted to him

anyway so why did it matter?

Scowling, Jay rose from the couch and grabbed the brochure,

figuring he may as well get it over with. He didn’t bother to lock
his door as he closed it behind him and walked the few steps to
knock on Drake’s front door.

Jay had to knock four times before he finally heard movement

inside, and he chewed his lip wondering if he’d awakened Drake.
He hadn’t meant to do that. It was almost ten, he thought for sure
Drake would be awake by now.

The door opened, but it wasn’t Drake. A tall, ridiculously

gorgeous, dark-haired guy stood just inside the door. He looked
like a movie star with his piercing blue eyes and the dimple next to
his mouth. He wore only a bathroom robe and his dark hair
appeared damp.

“Can I help you?”
“I-I was looking for Drake. I’m his neighbor.”
The guy nodded and held the door wide open. “Come in.”
Jay stepped inside and looked around for Drake. “Is he here?”
“He went to get some breakfast. I’m sure he’ll be back any

moment. Who are you?”

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“Jay, his next door neighbor.”
“Oh.” The guy smiled. “So you’re the one.”
“The one?” Jay asked cautiously.
“Uh-huh. Drake’s mentioned you.”
“And you are?”
“Ross.” He glanced at what Jay held in his hands. “What’s

that?”

Jay’s stomach dropped. He’d never seen the infamous Ross

before,  and  while  he  knew  from  Drake  that  Ross  was  handsome,
he’d  never  had  a  clue  he  was  drop-dead  gorgeous.  No  wonder
Drake  had  no  interest  in  Jay  if  he  went  for  guys  like  Ross.  “Oh,
um. I wanted to show it to Drake. My nephew’s school is having a
fundraiser.”

Ross smirked. “Oh, how cute. That’s quite the excuse.”
“Excuse?”
“Please. It’s obvious. You wanted to come over here to get

Drake’s attention. Save it, kid. I’m sure it’s tough being lonely and
pathetic and living next door to Drake, and it’s sweet he’s nice to
you and all, but really, you haven’t got a chance.”

Jay blinked, not sure he heard this guy right. “Pardon?”
“I know all about you. Drake told me he’s got this lonely,

pathetic gay neighbor he spends time with because he feels sorry
for him.” Ross rolled his eyes. “You’ve got yourself a little crush. I
get it. Drake’s hot.”

Jay backed up, his heart pounding. “He feels sorry for me?”
Ross’s smirk got smarmier. “That’s what he said. But don’t

take it personally, Jay. Drake has always befriended the friendless.
He likes helping people. Probably why he became a cop.” He
shrugged. “I wanted to get the criminals; he wanted to help the
victims.”

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Frowning, Jay shook his head. “I’m not a victim.”
“I didn’t say you were. Did you want to leave that here for

Drake to see when he comes back?” Ross gestured to the brochure
in Jay’s hand once more.

Jay handed it to him. “Yeah. Um, I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Quite all right. I’m sure Drake will be happy to help your

nephew.”

He turned toward Drake’s door, feeling more like an idiot than

usual.

“See you, Jay,” Ross called after him as he left.
Was he really that clueless, Jay wondered when he re-entered

his own apartment. He had known Drake didn’t want him, but he’d
at least thought Drake liked him and didn’t think him pathetic. But
if Drake had been telling Ross he felt sorry for his pathetic
neighbor—

“Fuck.”
That was just great.
Jay went down the hall to his linen closet and felt behind a

stack of folded towels and pulled out a pack of cigarettes he kept
hidden from himself. No sense keeping temptation so close.
Shaking, he went onto his balcony and lit up.

He hated this weakness. Hated that he couldn’t quite quit. His

abusive ex-boyfriend had gotten him into smoking. The asshole.

Jay blew out smoke and thought about what he wanted to do.

He wanted to go to the store and buy that damn watercolor scarf
for one. And then…well, maybe he should go to a club and see if
he could meet someone. Or go to Poppy’s and find that guy who
wanted to ask him out.

Anything but stay in his apartment and be…pathetic.

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* * *

Jay bit his lip as he sorted through the scarves. There were

several bright colored ones he really liked, even a few neutrals, but
he couldn’t find the one Franny had shown him and he was getting
more and more frustrated.

“Can I help…oh, it’s you, Jay.” Franny smiled at him when he

turned around. “Gonna buy a new scarf on your day off?”

“Well, I was, but I can’t find it. Where’s the one you showed

me the other day?”

The smile dropped from her face. “I’m sorry, Jay, a guy came

in and bought it. I think it was for his boyfriend.”

Jay tried to push aside the overwhelming disappointment. He

needed to spend over eighty bucks on a scarf like he needed a hole
in the head. But damn, he had been hoping that scarf would cheer
him up.

Fat chance.
“How about another scarf?” Franny, ever the saleswoman,

asked.

“Nah, that’s okay. Another day,” Jay said. “I’ll see you later.”
When he got to the parking lot, he had another cigarette. And

felt guilty about it, too. He pulled out his cell phone and hit
Geoff’s picture.

“Hello.”
“Hey, it’s me.”
“I know. What’s up? You hardly ever call me on a Sunday.”
Jay sighed. “I was thinking.”
“Uh-oh, dangerous.”
“Funny. You with Tammy?”
“Yeah, she’s here.”

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“You two want to meet me at Poppy’s for lunch?”
“Hang on, I’ll ask her.”
Jay took a few more puffs of his cigarette while he waited.
“Yeah, Tammy says yes,” Geoff said a moment later. “Meet

you there in a few.”

It was stupid probably. He had no clue if the muscle lifeguard

type guy would even be there on a Sunday, but, hell, he might as
well try, anyway.

About twenty minutes later he found a space to park his car in

front of Poppy’s and went inside to wait for Geoff and Tammy.
While he waited, he peeked around the corner toward the bar to see
if the guy might be there, but he saw no sign of him.

Jay sighed with disappointment. That would have been too

easy, he guessed. He so didn’t want to go to a club.

Geoff and Tammy came in, which saved him from wallowing

further in self-pity, and they got a table.

Geoff eyed him. “You smell like smoke.”
Tammy, a sweet, pretty blonde, leaned toward him. “Oh, my

God, Jay! You’ve been smoking again.”

He felt himself blush. “I, well, yeah.”
“Why?” Tammy asked. “You were doing so well.”
“I’ve been kinda depressed lately.”
“Still your neighbor?” Geoff lowered his menu.
Tammy covered his hand with hers. “Geoff told me about him.

Sweetie, maybe you should forget about him.”

“Yes, I know.” He sighed. “I am, actually. I wanted to come

here to see if that guy that asked me out the other day might be
here. But he’s not.”

Geoff gave him a sympathetic smile. “Tammy has a gay

cousin.”

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“Yes!” she exclaimed. “I forgot about Tim.”
Jay raised an eyebrow. “Timmy and Tammy?”
She laughed. “No, silly, he doesn’t go by Timmy. He’s a

personal trainer. Real beefy. You two would be so cute together.
I’ll call him tonight.”

“Okay.” Jay picked up his menu. What the hell? Might as well.

From the looks of it, Drake and Ross were very close. And he
certainly couldn’t compete with a guy who looked like Ross.

“Hi. You guys ready to order?”
Jay glanced up and realized he was looking at the lifeguard

guy. In a waiter’s uniform. “You work here?”

“Just started yesterday,” the guy said with a grin. Bobby was

the name on the nametag pinned to his shirt. “Jay, right?”

“Yes.”
“Needed some extra money, so they hired me here part-time.

Ready to order?”

“Give us a few minutes.”
Jay watched Bobby walk away. He buried his face in the menu

when he could feel Geoff and Tammy staring at him.

“He’s cute, Jay,” Tammy whispered.
He nodded.
“Ask him out,” she urged.
“He asked Jay out the last time we were here,” Geoff told her.
“And?”
Geoff smiled. “Jay turned him down.”
She rolled her eyes. “Geez. Before we leave here today, you’re

making a date with that guy.”

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 6

Where the hell was Jay?
Granted, Drake hadn’t been home much in the last few days.

He and  his partner had suddenly gotten a  great deal  of leads on a
case  they’d  been  working  on  and  had  needed  to  check  them  out.
But  when  he  had  been  home,  he’d  tried  knocking  on  the  young
blond’s  door  each  time.  Drake  had  even  tried  calling  Jay’s  cell
phone. It went to voice mail each time.

He’d finally managed to send Ross home Sunday afternoon.

The truth was he’d been kind of relieved when Ross had received a
call from Stan, demanding he return to their house. Though Drake
had let Ross spend Saturday night with him, he had made sure
Ross slept on his sofa bed. He was not giving in again.

Now frowning at Jay’s door, Drake rapped on it again. Today

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was  Thursday.  He  hadn’t  really  seen  Jay  since  last  Friday  night
when  he’d  been  over  to  Jay’s  apartment.  Ross  had  told  him  that
Jay  had  stopped  by  briefly  Sunday  just  to  drop  off  the  school
fundraiser brochure for his nephew.

No one had reported Jay as missing, but Drake was getting very

close to doing a police check on his apartment, just to make sure
Jay wasn’t in there needing help or something.

Drake sighed when he couldn’t hear any movement on the

other side of the door and he turned and went back to his own
apartment. It wasn’t like Jay to just disappear on him. He didn’t
like it one damn bit.

Plopping down on his sofa, he pulled his cell phone from his

pocket and located Jay’s number. When he went to voice mail
again, Drake hung up. There was little point to leaving yet another
message Jay wouldn’t return.

He began to wonder if Jay was avoiding him on purpose. He

couldn’t imagine why, but what else could it be? He didn’t want to
think something bad had happened to Jay. The young man wasn’t
really a high risk victim other than being gay. And there was that.
But he hadn’t heard of any recent gay bashing incidents in the area.

Drake’s next plan to look for Jay would be the store where he

worked, he guessed.

And then he heard footsteps in the hall. It could be another

neighbor though so he waited. Then he heard a knock on Jay’s
door.

“Pizza Palace,” a guy yelled.
Drake was up off the couch and to his door. He opened it just

in time to see Jay paying the pizza guy.

“Thanks, man,” the pizza guy said, handing over the pizza box

and turned to continue back down the hall.

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For a second Drake thought Jay was going to close his

apartment door and pretend Drake hadn’t been standing there
gawking at him. His hand was on the door, ready to close it, pretty
much in Drake’s face.

“Uh, hi, Drake,” Jay said, his voice low. His blond hair was

damp, as though maybe he’d been in the shower. Drake decided to
tell himself that’s why Jay hadn’t opened the door when he’d
knocked before the pizza guy.

“Jay, are you all right?”
“Sure. I’m good. Why?”
Drake glanced back into his own apartment. “Hang on, I’ve got

that order for you.”

“Order?”
“For your nephew. And something else, too.” Drake entered his

apartment, grabbed the brochure and the small gift box that
contained the watercolor scarf he’d bought several days ago.

He almost ran back out to the hall, half expecting Jay to have

gone back inside, his door closed firmly. But it wasn’t. Jay stood in
the doorway, though no longer holding the pizza box, and he
looked like he intended to bar Drake from entry.

“Can I come inside?” he asked.
Jay bit his lip, but held the door open wide enough for Drake to

enter. He closed the door, but leaned against it, his arms  wrapped
around him, hugging himself. Jay  wore a long sleeved red T-shirt
and  dark  blue  jeans  slung  low  on  his  hips.  Drake  had  trouble
admitting it, but really Jay looked unbelievably sexy.

Now that he was here, facing a guy who’d obviously been

avoiding him, or well, most likely anyway, Drake wasn’t sure what
to say.

“You have an order for my nephew?” Jay asked, breaking the

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awkward, prolonged silence between them.

Drake looked down at the brochure. “Yeah, yeah.”
Jay nodded. “You can leave it on the table there.” He pointed to

the coffee table. “Thanks by the way. You didn’t have to order
anything.” He moved away from the front door at once and walked
into his kitchen, barefoot, Drake noticed for some reason.

He also noticed something else as he set down the brochure and

the gift box. “You’re smoking again.”

Jay shrugged, filling a teakettle from the kitchen faucet. “Yeah.

A little.”

“Jay, I thought you quit.”
“I did mostly. Anyway, why do you care?”
Drake blinked a little at the hostility in the young blond’s

voice. “You know why I care. My mother died of lung cancer. She
smoked like a madwoman.”

Jay winced. “Yeah, sorry. It’s just…I mean. Never mind. Why

are you here, Drake?”

“Well, because, to be honest, I’ve been concerned about you.”
“Concerned?”
“I’ve been coming by here for the last few days and you

haven’t seemed to be around, so I just wanted to make sure you
were okay.”

“Oh.” Jay poured boiling water into a mug. “I’m fine. You

don’t have to bother checking on me.”

“Bother?” Drake frowned. “It’s not a bother, Jay. We’re

friends.”

“No, we’re not,” Jay said softly.
He couldn’t have been more surprised. And he was speechless.

He must be missing something. Had he gotten hit on the head and
forgotten about it?

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“Excuse me?”
“I know you’re just being nice to me.”
“Being nice to you? Jay, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Frustrated, Drake grabbed the gift box he’d brought with him and
thrust it at Jay. “Open that.”

Watching him warily, Jay shook the box. “It’s from my store.

What is it?”

“Open it.”
Jay lifted the lid to the box and then moved the white tissue

paper. His eyes widened as he stared at the beautiful, colorful
scarf. “It’s my scarf,” he whispered.

Drake nodded, smiling a little. “Yeah, and now it really is your

scarf.”

“You-you bought this for me?”
“Yes, of course. Who else do I know who loves scarves? And

who else do I know that loved that scarf?”

“I don’t understand.” Jay shook his head. “Why? Why would

you buy this for me?”

“Because you loved it and I wanted to make you smile,” Drake

explained, though he had to wonder when the gift was going to
make Jay smile. He didn’t look happy with the scarf at all.

What the fuck?
“It’s-it’s really sweet. But I can’t accept it.” He pushed the box

into Drake’s hand.

“You can’t accept it? Why not?”
“Because, I know. I know how you really think, how you really

feel about me,” Jay said, his words coming out in a rush, his
cheeks flushed a bright pink. And his eyes glistened a little, like
maybe he was going to cry.

“How I feel? Jay?”

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“Ross told me everything.”
Ross? What the hell had Ross said? Drake was getting angry.

Not at Jay. He wasn’t even sure who he was angry with but he was
angry.

“What exactly did Ross say?” He tossed the box toward the

couch and took a couple of steps closer to Jay until they stood very
close to each other.

Jay stared at him, his beautiful eyes unbelievably sad, his

bottom lip trembling. “Just that you think I’m pathetic and that
you’re only friends with me because you feel sorry for me because
I’m your lonely loser neighbor.”

Next time he saw Ross, if there was a next time, he was going

to kick the man’s ass. How dare Ross say such shit to Jay?

“That’s not true,” Drake said. “Whatever he told you is

bullshit.”

“It’s not?”
The tiny bit of hope he saw pass over Jay’s face tore at his

heart. He very much wanted to punch Ross right then. Instead, he
stepped closer still to Jay until they were toe to toe. Drake was
taller than Jay, so he looked down just a bit at Jay, but the younger
man tilted his head back so their gazes met, locked. Jay’s eyes still
glistened with moisture.

“No. You’re my friend because I like you. A lot.”
“Yeah?” Jay’s pink tongue darted out to wet his lips.
Before he could think too much, Drake lowered his head to

claim Jay’s lips with his own. Jay’s mouth was stiff, unyielding at
first, but he pressed on, kissing deeper, coaxing the man to soften
his lips under Drake’s.

And then Jay was clinging to him, moving closer still, opening

his mouth to Drake’s probing tongue. Little whimpers escaped

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from  Jay’s  lips  and  Drake’s  mind  fractured  with  lust.  His  cock
rose,  hard  and  full,  against  the  crotch  of  his  pants.  His  hands
curved  around  Jay’s  perfect  round  bubble  butt,  pulling  him  tight
against him. He felt Jay’s arousal and the only thing keeping him
from yelling, oh yeah, was the mouth now devouring his.

Drake wanted to bend Jay over the table and fuck him long and

deep, but that would mean stopping to get a condom and lube. So
would taking him down the hall to the bedroom. Right now they
needed the edge taken off. And he knew just how to do it.

His hands moved off Jay’s ass to the front of his jeans,

unfastening them, and sliding the zipper down just enough for him
to push his hand inside Jay’s boxer briefs. Closing his fingers
around the stiff prick, drawing an agonized moan from the other
man, he pulled the long, thick cock free.

Jay gasped against his lips even as Drake worked on the zipper

of  his  own  pants  and  made  short  work  of  freeing  his  cock.  He
wrapped  his  fist  around  both  shafts,  jerking  them  hard  and  fast.
Their  cocks  sliding  together  sent  jolts  of  pure  pleasure  through
him.

“Jay,” he moaned into the other man’s mouth, tangling his

tongue with Jay’s. The kiss turned feral, intense and Jay’s hands
fisted Drake’s shirt.

Drake felt the beginnings of his orgasm fingering up his spine,

his balls drawing tight, and he hoped to God that Jay was close,
too. He didn’t think he could hold back.

And then he pulled and pumped their cocks faster still, not

particularly smooth, but rough and dirty.

Jay tore his mouth from Drake’s and leaned his head on

Drake’s shoulder, panting heavily. With a ragged moan, Jay’s cock
stiffened in Drake’s hand, and pearly white cum shot out like a jet

FINALLY HIS

over his fingers. Seeing and feeling Jay’s orgasm sent Drake over
the edge, his cock pulsing as he found his own release, his cum
mixing with Jay’s over his fingers.

Drake released their cocks, and went to kiss Jay again, his mind

on moving them to the bedroom for round two, when a loud knock
sounded on Jay’s apartment door.

“Who the fuck—”
“Oh, crap.” Jay’s eyes widened. He immediately pushed away

from Drake and tucked himself inside his pants, zipping up quick.

“Jay, it’s me, Bobby,” a guy yelled from the other side of the

door.

Drake frowned. “Who is Bobby?” He stepped into the kitchen

to wash his hands before righting himself.

Jay had turned scarlet. “I, uh, damn, uh, Drake, I have a date.”
Just like that the air left his lungs as though he’d been punched

in the chest.

Fuck.
What kind of idiot was he? His gaze went to the pizza box and

back to Jay, who looked anywhere but at Drake.

He forced himself to nod. “Sure. I’ll just go on back to my

apartment.”

“Drake—”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have intruded.” Drake looked down at

himself, making sure there was no visible sign of what they’d just
been doing. His stomach hurt like he’d been kicked in it, but
otherwise he looked normal.

“I’m sorry,” Jay said. He had his fingers covering his lips and

his eyes were still as wide as saucers. Adorable, really. “I can tell
him to go.”

He shook his head and walked to the door, Jay following

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closely at his heels. He opened the door and stared out at Bobby.

Bobby looked a little too suave, a little too plastic Ken doll for

Drake. Nope, not impressed. Drake put on his best hostile cop look
and Bobby backed up a step.

“What? Who are you?” Bobby asked.
“Nobody. Just his neighbor dropping off an order for his

nephew’s school.” Drake brushed past Bobby in the hallway and
called over his shoulder as he headed to his own apartment door.
“Have a good night.”

He closed his door behind him and clenched his fists, wanting

to hit something. Ross. Bobby. The wall, maybe.

But really, what had he expected? He was too damn old for that

kid anyway and he knew it. Jay should be going out with guys like
Ken…Bobby.

Sure. He told himself that. But, then why did thoughts of that

guy crouched over Jay while he fucked him bother Drake so
much?

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 7

Jay knew he had to talk to Drake. Find out where they stood

after  last  night.  After  Drake  had  left  his  apartment,  Jay  had  sent
Bobby  home.  Bobby  hadn’t  been  pleased  and  had  accused  Jay  of
being  a  cock-tease.  But  fortunately,  he  had  left  when  Jay  asked
him.

It had been hard not to rush over to Drake’s apartment as soon

as Bobby left, but he’d resisted. He’d thought maybe talking to
Drake would be better after they’d both had a night to think. Now
Jay wondered if that had been a mistake.

Drake kissing him and jerking them both off had been…well,

more than surprising. Not in his wildest dreams had he guessed
that Drake would want him. Okay, well, yeah, maybe in his wildest
dreams.

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Now, Jay had to admit he was very nervous. And excited.

Maybe a little hopeful, too. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he
stepped out of his apartment and walked the few feet to Drake’s
door. For all he knew, Drake could be at work and this would be a
real short visit.

Jay tapped tentatively on the door and waited, breath held. He

hadn’t  been  sure  how  to  dress.  What  did  a  guy  wear  when
discussing…well,  what  were  they  discussing?  More  sex?  Maybe
seeing each other? So, he’d ended up just pulling on a pair of jeans
and  a  long-sleeved  T-shirt.  He’d  wrapped  the  water  color  scarf
around his neck.

Just when he thought maybe Drake wasn’t there after all, the

door opened and Drake peered out at him.

“Oh, hi, Jay.” His gaze briefly flickered over the scarf, then

back to Jay’s face.

“Hi. Can I come in?”
Drake hesitated, which made Jay’s stomach do a flip flop.

“Sure.” He held the door open and Jay went inside.

“I wanted to talk about yesterday,” Jay explained. Drake wore a

bathrobe and his hair was wet. “You just got out of the shower?”

Drake nodded. “I’m getting ready to go to work.”
“Oh. I thought, you know, maybe we could—”
“I don’t have a lot of time.”
He blinked. “I, well, I wanted to let you know that I sent Bobby

home last night. I didn’t go through with the date.”

But Drake had walked into the kitchen and was pouring himself

a cup of coffee. He didn’t even look like he’d been listening.
Suddenly Jay realized this might have been a terrible mistake.

“Drake—”
“Why did you do that?” Drake asked. “He seemed nice.”

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“Because of us.”
“Us?” Drake set down his coffee mug. “Jay, there is no us.”
His breath froze in his lungs. “What? But, y-you, y-yesterday,

we—” God, he was stuttering. He hadn’t stuttered since high
school after speech therapy. His face flamed hot.

“I’m sorry, Jay. Yesterday was a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
Drake shook his head. “It was completely my fault. I owe you

an apology. I was on the rebound. Ross and I are over for good. I
had no right to barge on over there and attack you like that when
you had a date coming over.”

Jay didn’t know what to say. He just stood there staring at

Drake, the hope he’d allowed to feel that maybe Drake was as
attracted to him as he was to Drake shriveled and died.

“You are really great, Jay,” Drake was saying. “Beautiful, sexy,

irresistible, really. But you’re also young. I’m in my thirties,
you’re in your twenties. There’s just too much of an age difference
between us to be anything other than friends.”

How had this all gone so wrong? He’d been nervous to talk to

Drake, but he’d thought in the end, he and Drake would get closer.
Not this. Never this. Suddenly the scarf around his neck felt like it
choked him.

“Okay,” Jay said. He’d managed that much. His fingers went to

the water color scarf and he undid it and put it on the dining room
table. “You’ll probably want to give that to someone else.”

“No, Jay.” Drake left the kitchen and picked up the scarf. “I

bought this for you. It was a gift.”

Jay bit his lip and nodded. “Maybe you can get your money

back then. It’s too expensive anyway.” His throat constricted and
he knew he had to get out of there soon. “I’ll let you get ready for

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work. I don’t want to be the cause of you being late.”

Before he could make any more of a fool of himself, he turned

around and headed for the door.

“Jay.”
The last thing he wanted was Drake telling him to keep the

scarf or, worse, telling him again that the age difference between
them was too much. It all boiled down to one thing. Drake didn’t
want Jay after all. And he never had.

“See you around, Drake,” he called over his shoulder. He

closed Drake’s apartment door behind him and went into his own
place. He twisted the lock on his door and went straight down the
hall and turned on the shower in his bathroom.

Jay didn’t really know why, but he wanted to take a long, hot

shower and then crawl into bed and make the day go away.

Why am I so stupid, he thought as he stood under the shower

spray? What had he even been thinking? Drake had never wanted
him before, why would he have wanted him now? Maybe he had
been the one to make the move on Drake. He thought Drake had
reached for him first, but now, well, everything was muddled in his
head. And Drake had just gone along with it because he was on the
rebound.

Even so, he couldn’t help but be glad that Drake had said he

was done with Ross. He’d never thought Ross was worthy of
Drake. Whoever Drake ended up with would be lucky.

Done with his shower, Jay barely dried off. He flipped back the

covers in his bed and crawled under them naked and prayed for
sleep.

* * *

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Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Groaning, Jay swatted around his ears, trying to stop the

annoying ringing. He grabbed his pillow and wrapped it around his
head.

Ring.
Ring.
He blinked rapidly and reached for the phone on his bedside

table.

“Unh.”
“Is that what passes for hello now?” Geoff asked.
He wiped a hand over his eyes and sat up. “Um, I was

sleeping.”

“Sleeping? It’s three in the afternoon.”
“Yeah, well.”
“How’d last night go?”
“Last night?” He frowned.
Geoff laughed. “Yeah, with Bobby.”
“Oh. Um, well, it didn’t. Long story but I canceled the date.”
“Jay.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t really need a lecture

right now, okay? It’s a bad day.”

Geoff’s sigh was heavy. “All right. You working tonight?”
“I was supposed to work today, but I switched with my co-

worker.” His idea had been to spend the day with Drake, of course.

“Good, got any plans?”
“Not a one.”
“Tammy’s making fish tonight and there’s extra,” Geoff said.
Jay leaned against the bed’s headboard. “That sounds great.

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Geoff?”

“Yeah?”
“Could-could I maybe stay w-with you guys for a few days?”

He swallowed, hoping Geoff really wouldn’t pester him with a
bunch of questions. He didn’t want to be alone.

“Hang on. I’ll ask Tammy.”
Jay didn’t want to impose on his friends, but he needed a few

days  to  process  Drake’s  rejection.  Before  he’d  been  given  that
brief look into what it could be like for them he’d been willing to
just be Drake’s neighbor and friend. But everything changed when
Ross told him  Drake thought  him pathetic.  And then  with the sex
from  yesterday,  well,  Jay  didn’t  know  that  he  could  just  go  on
being  Drake’s  pathetic,  lonely  neighbor.  The  thought  of  running
into Drake in the  hallway or the parking lot  made his  stomach do
flips.

His rent was month to month, so maybe he could just think

about moving to a new place. He’d have to give thirty days notice,
but—

“Tammy says it’s all right with her. We’ve got the spare room,

so it should be cool.”

He smiled or tried to, anyway. “Great. Thank you. I’ll try to

stay out of your hair as much as possible.”

“It’s okay, Jay.” There was a long pause. “You can talk to me,

you know. Tell me what’s going on. I’m not going to judge you
and I’m not squicked out by anything.”

That startled a laugh out of Jay. “I’m glad I don’t squick you

out, Geoff.”

“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, we’ll see. What time should I be over?”
“Whenever you’re ready. You might want to bring some tea

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with you. Not sure we have any.”

“Okay, see you soon. Thanks, Geoff.”
“No problem. Bye.”
Jay blew out a breath and got out of bed. He needed to get the

duffel bag out of his closet and pack it with some stuff. Maybe
Geoff and Tammy would know of a new apartment where he could
move. They had a nice apartment themselves, though Jay thought it
was probably out of his price range.

Shit, almost anything was out of his price range. He was

getting a deal at this place because the building owner had gone to
school with his dad. Jay wouldn’t have been able to afford it
otherwise.

Before he left, Jay remembered to stop in his kitchen for the

tea, which he also shoved in his duffel bag, along with the charger
for his cell phone. Then, after checking to make sure he’d left
nothing in the apartment on, Jay locked up and left Drake and his
apartment behind.

* * *

“That was so good, Tammy,” Jay said as he helped her clear

the table. “Beats the hell out of leftover pizza.”

“Thanks, sweetie. You don’t eat that every day do you?”

Tammy eyed him critically as she put containers of leftovers in the
fridge.

“No. Maybe a couple days of week though.”
“What do you eat other days?”
“Salads, sandwiches, easy stuff. I don’t do much cooking.”
“Hmm.”
Jay rolled his eyes. “Stop worrying, Mom.”

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Tammy laughed. “Well, you’re too skinny.”
He shook his head. “I’m just right. Feel free to mother Geoff

though.”

Geoff walked into the kitchen holding a box that looked

suspiciously like a board game. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing much. Your girlfriend wants to fatten me up. What’s

that?”

“Trivial Pursuit. I figured the three of us can play.”
He sighed. “You two don’t need to entertain me.”
“It’s entertaining us, too,” Tammy said, closing the dishwasher

that she had just filled with their dirty dishes.

“I suck at board games. Especially Trivial Pursuit.”
Geoff snorted. “So do we. The three of us can suck together.”
“Oh, great.” Jay rolled his eyes. “We’ll be playing this game all

night with none of us capable of beating the others.”

“It’ll be fun,” Geoff said. “We can laugh at each other’s

ineptitude.”

He could tell they wouldn’t be talked out of making him play

the game, so Jay went ahead and made himself a cup of tea and sat
at a card table Geoff had placed in the living room to play. He only
hoped neither Geoff nor Tammy would bring up his ill-fated date
with Bobby. Knowing him, he’d blurt out everything.

They got through a few rounds, and he’d even managed to

score a few wedges, and Jay had begun to relax. This was okay.

“Want some popcorn?” Tammy asked, as she rose after her last

turn. “I can pop a couple of bags in the microwave.”

“Sounds good.” Jay had already finished his first cup of tea and

was on to his second.

“Be right back.”
Geoff cleared his throat. “So, I thought you were going to see

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where it could go with Bobby.”

Oh, geez.
Jay pretended to be concentrating on moving his piece on the

board. “Didn’t have chemistry. You know how that is.”

“Oh, really? Because he sure seemed in to you.”
Jay shrugged.
“You aren’t still hung up on your neighbor, are you?”
“Drake?” He said it like he had any other neighbor he talked

constantly about. And well, yeah, he was, but he wasn’t sure he
wanted to admit it to Geoff. Not now, anyway.

“Didn’t you tell me he wasn’t interested?”
“I guess that depends on what you mean by interested.”
“Didn’t want to have sex with you.”
Jay felt himself blush. “Well, see, that depends on your

definition of sex, I guess.”

Geoff frowned. “What?”
“Yesterday we had sex.”
“Oh, my God!”
“Shush. I don’t want Tammy to hear.” But Jay supposed Geoff

would tell Tammy everything anyway. If he had a boyfriend he
was as close to as Geoff was to Tammy, Jay would be the same.
“A-anyway, not like full-on screwing sex.”

“Then what?”
Jay bit his lip and ducked his head. When would he learn to

keep his damn mouth shut? “Well, um, he used his hand on both of
us.”

Now Geoff turned red. “Sorry I asked.”
He smiled. “I thought you said I didn’t squick you out.”
“Yeah, yeah, you don’t, but you’re still like my brother and I

don’t really want all the details. Just, wow, I thought you didn’t

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think he was in to you.”

“He doesn’t want a relationship with me,” Jay admitted. “I

guess maybe I was rebound sex or something. Long story, but he
has this asshole ex-boyfriend who isn’t always an ex. Drake said
he was through with the guy for good.”

Geoff nodded. “All right, so what happened with Bobby?”
Jay sighed. “My date with Bobby was supposed to happen

when Drake showed up. In fact, we’d just, well, and then Bobby
knocked on the door.”

“Sounds like a soap opera moment.”
He laughed “Yeah, maybe. But the whole thing was really

awkward. I doubt I’ll hear from Bobby again and I don’t even
really want to, I think.”

“And Drake?”
“There is no Drake. Anyway, I’m thinking about changing

apartments. Know any good cheap places?”

As if that was her cue, Tammy reappeared with a big bowl of

popcorn. “What’s this about moving?”

“Maybe. We’ll see.” He looked down at the board. “I need a

wedgie question.”

FINALLY HIS

CHAPTER 8

“But I want to see you,” Ross whined.
Shifting his cell phone to a more comfortable spot on his ear,

Drake would have thought he would have realized how annoying
Ross’s whine was before. Love really was blind. Well, it wasn’t as
though he hated Ross now. He still cared about him. He’d just
finally opened his eyes to what an idiot he’d been.

“Why don’t we set it up for me to meet you and Stan for dinner

or something?’

Ross sighed. “We’re fighting again.”
He came close to saying what else is new, but changed it to,

“You’re always fighting.”

“This is different. He’s being so cold.”
Drake shifted on his couch, one ear listening for movement in

FINALLY HIS

the hallway and the other sort of listening to Ross. He glanced at
his watch, noting he’d been on the phone for almost thirty minutes
with Ross. Since he’d made it home from work.

“Maybe he’s gotten tired of your theatrics.” The only response

to that was a loud sniff. “Anyway, Ross, you should concentrate on
working it out with Stan, you always do. You can’t come running
to me anymore.”

“Does this have anything to do with what I said to your little

neighbor?” Ross asked. “I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean anything
by it.”

“This has nothing to do with Jay.” Who had disappeared again.
Drake wanted to kick his own ass for what he’d said to Jay the

last time he saw him. Maybe any kind of relationship between the
two of them would be a mistake given the age difference, but he
hadn’t needed to be such an ass to Jay. He grabbed the scarf off the
coffee table and ran his fingers over it. It smelled like Jay. He’d
only worn it probably once and already he knew it was covered in
Jay’s scent.

Drake lifted the silky scarf to his nostrils. Definitely male with

a  mixture  of  spice  and  marshmallow.  Probably  whatever  body
wash  Jay  used.  His  dick  half-hardened  and  he  couldn’t  help
thinking  of  the  way  Jay’s  lips  had  softened  under  his.  The  little
urgent whimpers that had escaped Jay’s lips as Drake had stroked
their cocks.

“Drake?” Ross’s voice cut in to his erotic memory.
“What?”
“You haven’t been listening to me, have you?” Ross sounded

suddenly cold and distant.

Drake cleared his throat. “Sorry, I am a little distracted right

now.”

FINALLY HIS

“By what?” Ross asked suspiciously.
The sexy, sweet twink next door.
Of course he didn’t say that to Ross. It was tempting though.

But really he didn’t want to make Ross jealous, because Ross was
just  a  friend  to  him  and  Drake  wasn’t  even  sure  he  was  a  good
friend, really. They hadn’t had that much in common when they’d
first  met  and  now  about  the  only  thing  they  had  in  common  was
that they  were both gay and worked  with criminals. Drake caught
them and Ross prosecuted them.

It was like having a friend in kindergarten who you met years

later and finding out you’d both changed and it would never be the
same again. Same thing with him and Ross. Only Drake had tried
to hold on to something that had never been terrific in the first
place. He tried to remember a really great time with Ross when
they were boyfriends and he couldn’t come up with anything.

“A case we’re working on,” Drake said. “It’s really kicking my

ass.” He yawned dramatically. “In fact, I need to fire up my laptop
and do some more work before I can crash. I really need to get to
it.”

“What about me?”
Drake gritted his teeth. “What about you? Jesus, Ross. How

many  times  do  I  have  to  say  it?  We’re  not  going  to  do  the  Ross
uses  Drake  to  get  even  with  his  boyfriend  for  not  putting  up  with
his  outrageous  antics  anymore.  You  need  to  stay  away  from  me
and  work  out  your  own  problems  or  find  another  idiot  to  use.  It
won’t be me.”

“God, you don’t have to be such an ass.”
“I do. Nothing else seems to work with you. You and I are

officially over. You want to continue to be friends, fine, but only if
you bring Stan or whoever you are seeing with you.”

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“Haven’t I been a good friend to you? Do you think you would

have made detective as fast as you did if I hadn’t put in a good
word for you?” Ross asked.

“Even if that is true, I would have made detective on my own.”
“Not as fast.”
“Maybe. But that’s not the point. This isn’t about what favors

you can do for me as my friend or my sometimes lover, whatever
you want to call it. It’s about how things need to change between
us if we’re going to remain friends. I’m not trying to hurt you,
Ross. It’s just more than past time we set some boundaries.”

Ross huffed. “Fine. You want to make it an issue, okay. I have

to go—my other line is ringing. Bye.”

Ross had hung up before he could respond further, but that was

fine with Drake. He’d been close to claiming another call just to
get rid of Ross, too. He tossed the phone down on the sofa and rose
to go into his kitchen, suddenly starving.

Even as he grilled himself some fish and vegetables, he kept

listening for the sound of Jay entering his apartment. It was kind of
déjà  vu.  But  once  again  Jay  had  disappeared  on  him  and  once
again  he  was  left  wondering  how  to  contact  him.  Drake  did  have
his  cell  number,  but  he  hadn’t  bothered  calling  it  this  time.  The
younger man had ignored his calls last time so Drake decided not
to  go  there.  Anyway,  if  he  wanted  to  talk  to  Jay  it  needed  to  be
face to face.

And did he? Was he going to change his mind about what he’d

said about their age difference? Relationships were hard enough
without adding extra obstacles.

But at the very least he needed to apologize for being a prick.
He’d just finished rinsing his dinner plate when he heard

someone in the hallway. Then he heard a thud. Frowning, Drake

FINALLY HIS

went to the door and peered out.

Jay stood at his front door, shuffling several large empty

cardboard boxes, trying to get his key in the door.

“Here, let me help you,” Drake said, taking three of the large

boxes from Jay.

Jay jumped a little, but then smiled tentatively. “Thanks.” He

turned the key in the lock and stepped inside with the two boxes he
still held. Drake followed in with the others.

Drake figured Jay must have come from work as he was

dressed in nice slacks and a white buttoned-down shirt. Around his
neck he wore a plaid knitted scarf.

Gesturing to the boxes, Drake closed the door behind them.

“What’s with those?”

“Oh.” Jay removed his scarf and laid it over the back of the

couch. “Um, actually, I’m thinking of moving.”

The air whooshed out of Drake’s lungs. “What?”
The blond man shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. Want some tea or

coffee or something?”

“Coffee would be nice,” Drake said, automatically, still reeling

from what Jay had said.

“I only have French vanilla, is that okay?”
“Sure.”
Jay went to his kitchen and Drake found himself staring at

Jay’s  ass  the  whole  way.  He’d  always  thought  Jay  was  sexy  and
sweet,  who  wouldn’t,  but  now  he  couldn’t  seem  to  think  around
him.  Not  without  wanting  Jay  anyway.  And  the  truth  was,  he’d
been trying to ignore his attraction to Jay for a long time. The other
day when he’d jerked them off it had sort of opened the floodgates,
no pun intended.

“Why are you thinking of moving?” Drake forced himself to

FINALLY HIS

ask. Now, he couldn’t help wondering if maybe Jay had found
himself someone to move in with. There had been that guy, Bobby,
from the other day. Jay had canceled the date, but maybe they’d
met up after that. It would be kind of fast though.

“Well, really, I don’t have friends nearby or anything.”
Ouch.
“I’m here.”
Jay sort of smiled but it wasn’t the sweet, genuine smile he’d

been used to seeing. “Besides you. And my best friend, Geoff, says
they are renting apartments in his complex. It might be cool to
move there. It’s even a little closer to work.”

“It’s probably more expensive then,” Drake said, figuring he

had to find ways to point out the negative before the moving truck
arrived and took Jay away.

“Yeah, it is.” Jay filled the water reservoir for the coffeemaker.

“That’s definitely a downside. I’m not sure I can afford a more
expensive place. This one is hard enough.”

“See. That’s got to be a major obstacle.”
Jay nodded. “So, I’ll just move in with someone.”
His heart dropped into his stomach. “Someone?”
“Uh huh.” Jay filled the coffeemaker with French vanilla

flavored coffee and then hit the on switch.

“Like who? A boyfriend?”
Laughing, Jay shook his head. “No, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Oh, thank God.
“Who then?”
“I’ll probably advertise for a roommate.”
Drake blinked. “What? Jay, that’s nuts.”
Jay frowned and removed two plain white mugs from his

cabinet. “Why?”

FINALLY HIS

“Advertising for some stranger to be your damn roommate? Do

you know how dangerous that is?”

“Is it?”
He felt the muscle in his jaw twitch. “You could get some

psycho nut job homophobic crackhead.”

Jay stared at him eyes wide, but then suddenly laughed. “I

forgot you’re a cop. You probably are easily paranoid.”

“I am not easily paranoid, but you are right that being a

detective does color my view. The last thing in the world I want is
for you to become someone’s victim.” Drake paused, exhaled.
“Jesus, Jay, what’s this really about? Why the desire to move?”

But now Jay wouldn’t look at him. He fussed in the kitchen

touching appliances and opening cabinets.

Drake’s heart sank.
Oh.
“It’s to get away from me, isn’t it?” He swallowed heavily.

“Because of what I did the other day?”

“What you did?” Jay fiddled with the coffeemaker.
“Or what I said, actually. When you came to talk to me? Jay, I

know I acted like an asshole. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was.”

Jay lifted the carafe and poured coffee into the mugs. “It’s all

right. You were just honest. I can’t fault that.”

Drake briefly closed his eyes, then opened them to look at Jay,

whose cheeks were lightly stained pink. “Jay, look at me.”

Jay lifted his gaze. His teeth sank into his bottom lip.
“I wasn’t honest. Not exactly, no.”
“No?”
Drake took the coffee mug Jay held in his hands and put it on

the kitchen counter. He grasped Jay’s warm hands in his. “I think
you are incredibly sexy. You’re one of the best looking guys I’ve

FINALLY HIS

ever seen. You’re sweet and kind, and the truth is, I adore you.”

Jay’s eyes widened but he said nothing.
“See, the thing is, there is an age difference between us. I’m in

my thirties and you’re in your twenties and I do wonder what we
could possibly have in common for very long other than sex.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t think there’s anything about me

you like except for the desire to fuck me?”

Drake winced. “No. That came out wrong.”
“Did it?” Jay shook his head. “I don’t know. We’ve spent time

together. Evenings, days, doing stuff together in the past as friends.
No, we haven’t been on like a date, but I think we know each other
pretty well.”

He was right, Drake decided. They had spent a lot of time

together. He realized he looked forward to seeing Jay every day,
and when he didn’t, he became anxious pretty quickly. All this
time he’d been convinced they were only friends, that it was Ross
he really wanted to be with. But he didn’t feel good about himself
when he was with Ross. He only felt low down and dirty.

“Drake?”
“Don’t move away from me, Jay.” And then his lips were on

Jay’s, plundering them almost savagely, hard and desperate. Scents
of the French vanilla coffee wafted up from the mugs next to them,
but the coffee was forgotten as Drake slid his tongue between Jay’s
plump, soft lips.

Jay’s hands rested on Drake’s arms, his fingers gripping them

like he had to hold on for dear life. With a groan, Drake shifted
closer, until their bodies lined up, the hard ridges of their cocks
rubbing against each other.

Jesus.
Drake’s hands rose to thread through Jay’s silky, blond hair,

FINALLY HIS

and he tilted Jay’s head to give him better access to the mouth he
couldn’t get enough from. If he couldn’t make himself make sense
with words, maybe he could get how he felt across to Jay through
his body.

And, God, he wanted Jay. Wanted to be buried in his sweet,

round, tight ass. Again and again.

Now.
Reluctantly breaking the contact of their lips, Drake leaned his

forehead against Jay’s, and stared into the lust-hazed blue gaze.
“Bedroom. Or wherever you have lube and a condom.”

Jay blinked. “Are we?”
“Fuck, yes. Now. Please.” He was close to begging. Or was he

begging? Drake didn’t know. He laced his hand with Jay’s and
tugged him down the short hall to the bedroom.

He tried not to shove Jay through the doorway in his eagerness.

His cock had begun to leak pre-cum and left a wet spot on the front
of his jeans.

Drake covered Jay’s mouth with his once more, wanting to

continue his seduction before Jay changed his mind. He splayed
his fingers under Jay’s shirt, caressing the smooth abs.

“Drake,” Jay gasped against his mouth.
“These off,” Drake grunted like a caveman as his fingers

yanked at the top button of Jay’s pants. He slid the zipper down.
“Where’s the lube and condom?”

“Unh.”
“Jay,” he said, wincing at the impatience in his own voice. He

softened it with another searing, deep kiss.

“D-dresser. Top left drawer.”
Drake nodded, exhaling slowly. He stole a few more kisses

before breaking away to take the few steps to Jay’s dresser in the

FINALLY HIS

corner of his bedroom. He pulled the drawer open and found the
supplies.

When he turned back to face Jay, the man was staring at him,

his eyes wide, his hair wild and mussed, his cheeks an
outrageously sexy pink, and his lips swollen. What the fuck had he
ever seen in too smooth, too suave Ross?

“Drake?” Jay’s voice was soft and hesitant.
“I want to fuck you so bad I can hardly stand it,” Drake said.

“But I have to know. Do you want this or are you just going along
with it?”

If Jay said he was just going along with it for Drake’s sake, or

whatever, he would stop. He didn’t want to, of course. He knew if
he had sex with Jay there would be no going back. For either of
them. There’d be no Ross and no Bobby. Or anyone else. Just
them. And maybe that should have been scary. But all he felt was
exhilarated.

Jay didn’t respond for what seemed an eternity. Drake had

begun to think Jay would turn him away after all. But then Jay
smiled and pulled his dress shirt over his head and tossed it in the
general direction of his rattan hamper.

Trying not to swallow his tongue, Drake stared at the beautiful

perfection that was Jay. Six pack abs, nicely toned pecs with only a
smattering of blond hairs, and peaches and cream skin. Jay’s full
lips curved into a shy smile. His fingers rested at the opening of his
slacks. Drake tossed the lube and the strip of condoms on the bed.

Almost panting, Drake pulled off his own shirt and took the

few steps to where Jay stood by the double bed. He covered Jay’s
hand with his, then slipped past Jay’s smaller hand inside Jay’s
briefs to grasp the man’s straining erection.

“These have to come off,” he said, just before devouring Jay’s

FINALLY HIS

lips.

Jay gasped and threw his arms around Drake’s neck, slanting

his mouth over Drake’s, thrusting his tongue inside. He slid Jay’s
pants and briefs down off his ass toward his knees. He guided them
closer to the bed, without breaking the contact of their fused
mouths, and gently pushed Jay onto the bed on his back, his own
body falling to cover Jay.

He moved his mouth from Jay’s to the pulse of his throat,

wanting to kiss, to taste Jay everywhere. Every smooth, warm inch.
Jay’s hands wandered to the buttons of Drake’s jeans, and he
tugged, pulling them open to his seeking fingers.

“Ah, damn.” Drake shook, his cock leaping at the contact of

Jay’s warm hand over the material of his boxers.

Drake stood, suddenly desperate to get all clothes as far from

them as possible, wanting skin against skin. Finally ridding Jay of
his slacks and underwear, he yanked his jeans and boxers off.

“Scoot up just a little,” he said.
Jay grinned and undulated up the mattress a few inches.

“More?”

“No, perfect.” Drake knelt on the edge of the bed and lifted

Jay’s legs, giving him access to what he sought. His mouth closed
over Jay’s leaking cock, drawing the tip in slowly, his tongue
darting over the slit.

“Oh, God. Drake.” Jay moaned, lifting his ass farther off the

bed. Drake sucked the shaft farther into his mouth, swallowing as
he did. Jay’s fingers dug into the blankets on the bed.

Drake reached blindly for the lube, feeling around the bed for

where he’d left the supplies. His fingers closed around the tube. He
wrapped his other hand around the base of Jay’s cock and opened
his throat, taking Jay deep.

FINALLY HIS

Jay whimpered and thrashed, his legs trembling.
Releasing Jay’s cock, Drake squirted lube, probably enough to

lube a tractor. Drake coated his fingers and slipped two inside
Jay’s tight, round ass. Just where Drake’s dick would be in mere
minutes.

Patience.
Pushing deeper still, Drake sought Jay’s prostate, rubbing it

gently.

Jay made an almost guttural noise, then, “Drake, please.”
Drake sat back on his haunches and tore open a condom. Jay’s

begging made it impossible to hold back.

Jay gave Drake the most amazing smile. He couldn’t help but

grin back.

“So, we’re really going to do this?” Jay asked, his smile turning

a little mischievous.

Drake chuckled and glanced down at his now sheathed cock.

“What do you think?”

“Hmm.” Jay’s brows furrowed like he was actually thinking. “I

think…I think you better come here and fuck me.”

He dived for Jay, melding their mouths together, linking their

hands, while he kissed the other man over and over again.

Trying to tell himself they didn’t have to rush through it, they

had as long as they wanted, Drake tried to slow down. But then Jay
moaned  and  pushed  up  against  him,  and  all  thoughts  of  taking
things  slow  flew  out  the  window.  He  released  Jay’s  hands,  then
with one last lingering kiss, Drake trailed his lips down Jay’s jaw
and on a pathway to his copper nipples. Darting his tongue out, he
grazed  first  one  and  then  the  other,  Jay  rewarding  him  with  more
gasps and whimpers.

“God, now, please,” Jay begged when he kissed a line across

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Jay’s middle to just below his belly button.

Lifting Jay’s legs and positioning himself between them, Drake

lubed up the condom and pushed inside, past the ring of muscle.
He froze when Jay inhaled sharply.

His heart hammering hard, sweat beading on his forehead,

Drake asked, “Did I hurt you?”

Jay bit his lip. “No, um, not exactly. Just a little burn is all. It’s

better.”

“You sure?”
The other man nodded and tilted his pelvis to allow Drake

better access. With a sigh of lust-filled relief, Drake pushed deeper,
all the way in until his balls rested against Jay. So tight.

And then he was pounding hard and fast, in and out, over and

over. Jay met his every thrust, a pushy active bottom. Drake loved
it.

Jay had reached for his own cock and had been stroking it,

fisting the red tip. Then his blue eyes widened and with Drake’s
name shouted from his lips, white globs spurted out over his hand.

“Fuck,” Drake groaned, feeling the tingle at the base of his

spine. After several more hard thrusts, he came with a hoarse
shout.

* * *

Jay didn’t know when he had dozed or even when Drake had

withdrawn from him and gotten rid of the condom. The bigger man
now lay next to him on his stomach, snoring softly. And taking up
most of the bed. If this sort of thing was going to continue with
Drake, he’d need a bigger bed.

He smoothed a finger over Drake’s bare back. If it was going to

FINALLY HIS

continue. That might be a big if. He’d been wrong before. But
Drake had come to him. Well, he’d come to him last time, too,
though.

“Drake?” Jay shook him just a little.
Drake murmured and opened his eyes. He smiled. “Hey.”
Jay smiled back. “Hey. Um. Wow.”
The other man laughed. “Yeah. What’s on your mind, Jay?”
“I’m just wondering what this all means I guess.” He felt

himself blush. “I don’t want to come out sounding all emo.”

Drake shifted to his side and grabbed Jay’s hand in his. “No,

it’s a good question. Maybe we should have talked about this
before we got to this point.”

Jay nodded. “Maybe. But you’re—”
“Persuasive?” Drake raised Jay’s hand to his lips.
“Yeah. But, well, does this change anything for us?”
“I sure want it to.”
“You do?”
Drake laughed again. “You seem so surprised. I guess I don’t

blame you given what I said before.”

“All this time we’ve lived next door, well, I didn’t think you

liked me in that way. Sexually, I mean.”

“You’re gorgeous, Jay. Who wouldn’t want you?”
Jay snorted and rolled his eyes. “Not everyone does. I’m not

every gay guy’s type. I didn’t think I was yours.”

Drake leaned in to place a rather chaste kiss on Jay’s lips. “I

admit I’m a little worried about our age difference. You’re still so
young, just starting out, really.”

“I’m not just starting out. You make me sound like a kid.”
Drake’s lips curved. “To me you are.”
He blew out a breath. “It’s only ten years, Drake. It’s not like

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you could be my father.”

“Oh, that makes me feel so much better,” Drake said wryly.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah. But, you’re so young and cute and vibrant. You draw

people to you and I don’t even think you realize it.” Drake
caressed his cheek. “I find myself wanting to protect you.”

“From what?”
“From everything. And everybody. Including me.”
Jay winced. “You did say something about being my big

brother.”

“Yeah, it’s called denial. I don’t want to be attracted to you. Or

I didn’t.”

“I’m a big boy, Drake.” Jay sighed. “It’s not like I haven’t done

any living or had any boyfriends before.”

“I have a tendency to be a bit domineering sometimes,” Drake

admitted. “I don’t want to remind you of that abusive boyfriend of
yours.”

“You couldn’t.” He shook his head. “I’m not afraid of you. I

know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“No, never. And I know that,” Drake said. “Rationally,

anyway. And I’ve been blinded by this sick kind of love I had for
Ross, too. It wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t seem to get out of this
pattern of coming to his rescue.”

“And now?”
“Now, I’m done with that. I’ve told him. He wasn’t happy, but

I think if we’re meant to be friends, then we will be. It’s up to
him.”

“I don’t like him,” Jay admitted.
“I know. He’s not my favorite person right now either. And

don’t worry, I don’t intend seeing him for a long time. I think we

FINALLY HIS

need a break from each other.” Drake rubbed his thumb over Jay’s
lips. “Which brings us back to you and me.”

Jay smiled. “Well, I like the sound of you and me. I’ve been in

love with you for months.”

“Yeah?”
“Yes. I think Ross realized it right away, too. I think, maybe,

that’s why he said all those things to me. To get me to go away.”

Drake grimaced. “He’s an ass. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I

didn’t realize what an idiot I am sooner. Jay?”

“Hmm?”
“I want you to have that scarf you loved so much. I bought it

for you because you wanted it and it made me happy to get it for
you. I know I ruined it by being a jackass, but I want you to have
it. I love the way it looks on you. It reminds me of you, how sweet
and colorful you are.”

His heart leapt with a happiness he hadn’t expected to be able

to feel even that morning. He didn’t think there’d be a Jay and
Drake.

“I would love to wear it. Thank you.”
They shared a kiss, long and sweet, and Jay realized they’d be

sharing a lot of kisses to come.

“Mmm.” Jay’s cock began to perk up all over again. “So, what

do you think? Does this mean we’re official or something?”

“I think we’re definitely official.” Drake smiled, then winked.

“Maybe I should show you just how official.”

Jay laughed. “Now, I love the sound of that.”
“Yeah? Good. And I love you, Jay.” Drake flipped Jay over

onto his back and covered his body with his own.

Bringing Drake’s head down so their lips were mere inches

from each other, Jay started to believe that Drake, finally, was his.

HAWN

ANE

Shawn Lane believes love and passion know no boundaries. Shawn
writes  both  erotic  love  stories  involving  men  in  historical  or
contemporary  settings  and  interracial  romances  between  men  and
women.  Shawn  is  always  looking  for  new  stories  and  new
characters to create while holding down life in California.

* * *

Don’t miss More Than Anything

by Shawn Lane,

available at AmberAllure.com!

College freshman, Shayne Ralston, never expected to meet the man
of  his  dreams  on  his  first  day  of  school,  but  star  quarterback,
Desmond  Stratton,  is  a  force  to  be  reckoned  with.  Soon  he  slips
past Shayne’s reluctance and romances the shy history major.

Des has a decision to make about his future. His family has been
pushing  him  toward  a  professional  football  career  for  years,  but
Des also has dreams of being a doctor. As his feelings for Shayne
grow, Des’s decision becomes more important than ever. Shayne is
openly  gay,  and  Des  needs  to  remain  in  the  closet  if  he  wants  a
football career. Staying in the closet, however, could lose him the
man with whom he’s fallen in love…

MBER

UILL

RESS

LLC

OLD

TANDARD IN

UBLISHING

UALITY

OOKS

OTH

RINT AND

LECTRONIC

ORMATS

CTION

DVENTURE

USPENSE

HRILLER

CIENCE

ICTION

ARK

ANTASY

AINSTREAM

OMANCE

ORROR

ROTICA

ANTASY

GLBT

ESTERN

YSTERY

ARANORMAL

ISTORICAL

IRECT

AVE