Checkmate: This is Love (Checkmate Duet #2)

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Checkmate:ThisisLove

CheckmateDuet,Book2

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Checkmate:ThisisLove

Book2intheCheckmateDuet

ViolaFisheristheepitomeofperfection.

Shedespisesmyone-nightstandsandmocksmyless-than-classyhabits.

She’ssmart,beautiful,andtoogoodtobetrue.

AndIwanther.

Ifshewereanyoneelse,I’dhavemademymoveyearsago,butconsideringshe’smybestfriend’s

littlesister,she’salwaysbeenoff-limits.Nottomentionhowmuchsheloathesmyveryexistence.

Hatingmeisherreligion,butneedingherismine.Hersexycurvesandfilthysmartmouthmakeme

wantherevenmore,andI’mmoredeterminedthanevertochangehermind.

I’llproveI’mdoneplayinggames.

Butuntilthen,we’llcontinuetoplaybyherrules.

ViolaFishermayhavewonthebattle,butthewarisn’toveryet.

Checkmate,princess.

CHAPTERONE

TRAVIS

Tenhoursearlier...

Ipressmypalmsintomyeyesandexhaledeeply.
Icannotlosecontrol.Icannotlosecontrol.
IwishI’dtoldViolawhathappenedatworkandtalkedtoheraboutitinsteadofshuttingdown.

Notthatthere’dbeanythingshecoulddo,butshe’salwaysbeenagreatlistener,evenwhenshewas
beingthebiggestpaininmyass.Whenwewerekids,shealwaysmadetimetolistentomyramblings.
Ididn’tspeaktomyparentsmuch,aboutanything,andhadlearnedtokeepmostofmyfeelings
buriedinside.BeingrealandopenfeltnaturalwithViola.

ThatwasbeforeIfuckeditallupandhurther.
Ishouldjustcallitanightandgotobed,butI’mtoorestless,thinkingaboutthatbitch,Alyssa.

WhichmakesmethinkoffuckingBlake,whorippedmydreamofmovingupinthecompanyaway
fromme,butIwon’tgodownwithoutafight.

IdecideIshouldprobablyeatsomething,butIhadn'tgonegroceryshoppingsincebeforeDrew

leftandheisn’thometonight,sothatleavesmewithlimitedoptions.

RamennoodlesorPB&Jonmoldybread.
Wrinklingmynose,Ishutthecupboardandgrabmycarkeys.Ineedtoclearmyhead.
Itakeadrivedownthehighway,headingoutoftown,blaringmystereowiththewindowsrolled

down.Theeveningbreezefeelsgood,andthemusicnumbsmymind.Iallowthepavementtoleadthe
way.

Hourslater,IendupjustoutsideofSacramentoandstopatadinerthat’sopentwenty-fourhours.

Itlooksoldandrun-down,butI’mreadytochewmydamnarmoffsoIcan’tbetoopicky.

OnceIfindabooth,Iorderacupofcoffeeandsomewater.Thesoundsofclankingsilverware

andlatenightchatterfillthediner.Thereareonlyahandfulofpeopleatthecounter—wholooktobe
truckdrivers—andafewcouplessittingintheotherbooths.Ishouldn’tbesurprisedatthistimeof
night,though.

Thewaitresscomesbackwithmydrinksandthentakesmyorderofpancakesandbacon.She

barelylooksupfromherwritingpadasshescribblesitdown,andwalksawaybeforeIcanhandback
themenu.

TemptedtotextViolaandmakesureshe’sokay,IstopmyselfanddecideI’drathertalktoherin

personaboutitall.Idon’tknowwhatwe’regoingtodonowthatDrewishomeearly,andalthough
I’vebrokenthebrocodebybangingmybestfriend’slittlesister,Idon’twanthimtofindoutfrom
anyonebesidesme.KnowingIowehimthat,atleast,weneedtofigureouthowwe’regoingtotell
him.OrwhatI’mgoingtotellhim.

Thetruthis,ViolaandIaren’tacouple.Wehaveahistory—adamagedone—butnevertheless,a

historythathasboundustogethersincewewerekids.ThemoreIthinkaboutit,themoreIwantto
punchmyselfforeverystingIblewherway.Shehadn’tdeservedit,mostofthetime,butshemade
suretogiveitrightback.

That’swhatIlovemostabouther.She’snevertakenmyshit,andshe’stheonlygirltochallenge

meateverydamnopportunity.Perhapsthat’swhatkeptthefireburningalltheseyears,butI’mdone
playingthosegames.Ilostherasoneofmybestfriendsallthoseyearsago,andI’llbedamnedifI
loseheragain.

Thewaitressdropsmyplatesinfrontofmeandmuttersthatshe’llbebacktorefillmycoffee.I

pourthesyrupovermypancakesandbegincuttingintothemwhenIhearafamiliarvoicebehindme.

Iturnmyheadslightly,listeningagain.Itcan’tbe.
“Youjackass!Youcan’tjustleavemehere!”
“Getoffme,youcrazybitch!”
ThevoiceisdefinitelyoneI’veheardbefore.PanicsetsinasIsetmyforkdownandslideoutof

thebooth.ThenIseeherfamiliarfaceandcurseundermybreath.

MiaFuckingMontgomery.
She’sarguingwithaguyasshepullsonhisleatherjacket.She’scryingandpleadingwithhim,but

hejustpushesheroffandwalksoutthedoor.I’mshockedtoseeherhere,especiallywithsomeone
else.Itflat-outbotherstheshitoutofme,consideringsheandDrewbrokeuponlydaysago.

“You’reafuckingasshole,Will!”shecallsout,rushingbehindhimthroughthedoorinaskimpy

littledress.

I’mquicktofollowasIcallouthername.“Mia,stop!”Igrabherelbowandturnheraround.

“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”

“Travis?”Hereyeswiden.“Holyshit!ThankGodyou’rehere!”Shewrapsherbodyaroundmy

armandcriesevenharder.It’sawkwardashell,butIdon’tpushheraway.

“Oh,look.Ittookyoulessthanthirtysecondstolatchontoanotherguy,”Willyells.“Enjoyher,

dude.She’saseasyasshelooks.”

“Screwyou,motherfucker!”sheshouts,andittakesmeamomenttorecognizetheguyshe’s

screamingat.WillTamer.

“Allright,man.That’senough.Justgo.I’llmakesureshegetsbacksafely.”
Helaughs.“Don’tfuckingcare.”
Iseeredagainatthewayhe’syellingather;ittakeseveryounceofmybeingtokeepmyfeet

plantedontheground.Thewayhe’streatingheriswaytooreminiscentofhowmyfathertreatedmy
motherallthoseyears.RegardlessofhowmuchofabitchMia’sbeentoDrew,I’mnotokaywithany
guytalkingtoawomanlikethat.

“She’sjustanothertypicalattentionwhore.Justwantedtousemeasawaytogetherfifteen

minutesoffame.”

“Ohright,Will,becauseasextapeissounusualtoday.That’sexactlywhatIwasdoingbecauseI

definitelydidn’tsleepwithyouforyourthree-inchdick.Wouldbesuchashamefortheentireworld
toknowthattheonlythingWillTamerispackingissugar-freegumandexpiredcondoms.”

“Mia,”Ihiss,warninghertoshuthermouth.Thesoonerheleaves,thesoonerIcangetheroutof

here.

“Whatdidyousay,bitch?”Hetakesasteptowardus,readytogetinherface,butIdon’tcarewho

heis,there’snowayI’mlettinghimtouchher.Thevilewayhe’stalkingtohermakesmyfistsclench.

“Justletitgo,man.”Iholdmyhandup,blockingMiabehindme.“Sherunshermouthalot,but

she’sharmless.”Itrytodiffusethesituation.ThelastthingIneedistogetintoanotherfight,buthe’s
nottakingthebait.

“Fuckoff,littlemama’sboy.”Hepushesafingerdirectlyintomychest,andnowI’mseething.

WillTamerisn’tsomeoneI’dwanttofightononeofmybestdays.He’saworldchampionfighter,
andhe’sbuiltlikeafuckingrock.EveryoneinNorthernCaliforniaknowsaboutWillTamer,and
onlyadumbasswouldthrowthefirstpunch.

“Mia,gobackinside,”Isay,keepingmyeyeslockedonhim.He’satickingtimebomb.
“ButTravis...”sheargues.
“Go,”Isayfirmer.“Getinside.”
“I’dlistentoyournewlittlefucktoyifIwereyou,”Willtellsher,stretchinghisarmsoutinfront

ofhischestandcrackinghisknuckles.“Unlessyouwanttogetbloodonyourfakedesignershoes.”

Hiswordshitmelikeatonofbricks.Hecouldsnapmelikeatwiginlessthantwoseconds.I

workoutandliftweights,butthere’sabsolutelynocomparison.Hisbicepsareasbigasmyhead.

Shegasps.“Theyaren’tfake!”
“JesusChrist,Mia!”Isnap.“Getinthefuckingdiner.”
“Wehavesomeunresolvedissuestodiscuss,”Will’svoiceisthickwithamusement.Heobviously

getsarushfromfighting,inoroutofthering.

Webothstaystandingaswehearhershoesclickagainstthepavementassheheadsbackinside.I

don’twanttofightthisguy,orrather,getpummeledintotheground,butsomehowIwelcomed
myselfinherdamnmess.

“Beforeyouassumeanything,Mia’sjustafriend...”
Hetakesastepcloser.
“Shewasactuallymybestfriend’sgirlfriend.So,whateveryourtiffwithheris,let’sjustdropit.

She’sahotmessevenonherbestdays.”

“YouthinkIcareaboutanyofthatshit?”Hestepsforwardagain.“Shetookavideoofus,and

unlessshegivesitback,it’syourfaceI’mgoingtobepunchingin.”

“Okay,I’lltellhertogiveitback.”
“It’sonhercell.Iwantit.”
“Allright.Noproblem.”
“Youhavefiveminutes.Sheeithergivesitback,orIcrushyourskull.”
Fuck,andIthoughtIhadangerissues.He’sonatotallydifferentspectrum.
Ipinchmylipstogetherandslowlytakeastepbacktowardthedineragain.OnceI’minside,I

grabMiaandtellherhisdemands.

“Ineedit,Mia.Justhanditover,andyoucangetanotherone.”
“Idon’thaveit!”Shecrossesherarms.“I’vebeentellinghimthatforthepastthirtymiles.”
“Wherethehellisit?”
Sheshrugs.“SomewhereonI-50betweenRivertonandCedarGrove.Ithrewitoutthecar

window.”

Iinhalesharply,brushingmyhandthroughmyhairandturnslightlytoseehe’swatchingour

everymove.

“Whythehelldidyoudothat?”NowI’mannoyed.
“Becausehewasbeinganasshole!Hekepttellingmetogiveittohim,soIsaid‘fine,gogetit,’

andthenthrewitoutthewindow.”

“Fuck,Mia,”Ihissundermybreath.
“Well,Ididn’tknowhewasgoingtolosehisshitoverit.”
“Yourecordedyouguyshavingsex?”Iwhisper.“That’snotexactlysomethingaguylikehim

wantsleaked.”

Sheshrugsandherindifferencefeedsmyangerevenmore.
Reluctantly,Iwalkbackoutsideandfacehim.“Shesaysshethrewitoutthewindow,whichmeans

there’snowayitcangoviral.”

Hisjawticks,andIwatchashishandsballintotightfists.“Bullshit.Iknowsheuploadedittothe

iCloud.”

Dammit,Mia,Imuttertomyself.

“Shewon’tuploadit.IknowMia.She’salltalk.”
“YouthinkI’mgoingtotakeyourword?”
BeforeIcanrespond,Miafliesoutthedoorandbeginsswearingathim.Icanseepeopleinside

thedinerwatchingusfromthewindows.Miaisallfiredup,andWillisasecondawayfromlosing
hisshit.

“Whatareyousoafraidof?WorriedthatpeoplearegoingtowonderwhyIhadtofakeevery

singleorgasm?Ormaybeyou’reworriedwhatpeoplewillthinkwhentheyseeyoucryingafteryou
come?”

Shestormspastme,andI’mquicktograbherarm,pullingherback.Forapetitegirl,she’spretty

determinedwhenshe’spissed.

“Youfuckingcunt,”Willhisses.Hisbodyunleashes,andbeforehecanmakecontactwithMia,I

pushheroutofhiswayandtakethehit.

Iimmediatelylosemyfooting,andIcanhearMiashoutinginthedistance.Hishandsareonme

beforeIevencollidewiththeground.Thankfully,thepunchheservedtomygutmakesmyheadveer
forwardinsteadofslammingagainstthecement.

Iblockhisnexthit,butjustbarely.There’scommotionandscreamingaroundme,butIcan’topen

myeyeslongenoughtofindawayout.It’sobviousthisguyfeedsoffanger,andhewon’tstoptill
I’malifelesslump.It’sengravedintohim,soIdotheonlythingIcantobreakhisfog.

It’sabitchmove,Iknow,butIliftakneeupandkickhimrightbetweenthelegswitheveryinchof

strengthIhaveleft.

AssoonasIfeelhisweightliftoffme,Irolloutfromunderhimandpullmyselfup.He’s

mutteringavarietyofcursewordsashecupshisjunkandstrugglestobreathe.

“OhmyGod,Travis!”Miarunstowardme,ahandfulofcustomersnowoutsidewatchingbehind

her.“Areyou—”

“Getinthecar,”Ishout.
“What?”sheasksassherunsbehindme.
“Getinthefuckingcar!We’regettingoutofhere.”
IgrabmykeysfrommypocketandunlockthedoorsasfastasIcan.Iknowhe’sprobablygoing

tobedownforawhile,butIcan’trisksomeonecallingthecopsonme.I’malreadyindeepshitat
work;Idon’tneedtoaddamisdemeanorchargeofdisturbingthepeaceontopofthat.Theycould
lockmyassupinthecountyjail,fineme,orboth.

WebothslideinandIrevtheengine,shiftingitintoreverseandbackintodriveagain.Myheartis

hammeringinmychestaswemakeourwayoutoftheparkinglot,tiressquealinganddustkicking
upinourwake.

“Whattheactualfuck?”I’msopissedtobeinthisposition,thatallIcandoisdrivefasterand

holdthesteeringwheeltighter.I’msoangry;Ican’tevenlookather.TheounceofcontrolthatI’ve
workedsohardtokeepalldayisslowlyslipping,butshedoesn’tdaresayaword,whichI’mthankful
forbecauseI’montheedgeoflosingmyshit.Honestly,Ithinksheunderstandswhatshe’sdone,andI
hopeshefeelsasmallsliverofregret,butasIglanceover,I’mnotsureifthat’sevenpossible.I
alreadyknowwhatkindofgirlMiais;she’strouble.

“Youjusthadtogopissoffoneofthestrongestguysinthecountry?”Iyelloncewe’vecleared

theareaandarecruisingbackonthehighway.ThenexttimeIturnandlookather,she’spale,andI
canseeherchestrapidlymovingupanddown.

“Mia?”Ireachoverandshakeherknee,tryingtograbherattention.“Youallright?”
Sheshakesherheadwithoutlookingatme.“IthinkI’mgoingtobesick.”
She’sgoingintoshock,andthere’snoshoulderonthehighwayformetopullover.

“Mia,listentome,”Isaysoftly,tryingtochangemytone.“Youradrenalineisdecreasing,and

youneedtotryandstaycalm.Listentomyvoice.Inhalethroughyournoseandexhalethroughyour
mouth.”

Sheabidesandgripsmyhandthat’sstillrestingonherknee.Iwanttopullitaway,butIdon’t

becauseshe’sinshockandI’mgenuinelyconcerned.

“Ican’tbelievethatjusthappened.”Shebeginschokingonhersobs,andIrealizeI’mgoingto

havetotakethenextexitbeforeshepukeseverywhere.

“Staywithme,Mia,”Isayevenly.
“Ican’t.”
“It’sokay.We’regoingtobeokay.”
Shefinallyturnsandlooksatme.“You’renot.”
Thestiffnessinmybodyisevident,butIwon’tadmitit—notrightnowatleast.“I’llbefine.”
“Hecould’vekilledyou,Travis!I’veneverseenhimactthatwayoutsideofthering.”
“Well,hedidn’t.”Itrytosoundconfident,butwebothknowhadhepinnedmedownlongenough,

hecertainlycould’ve.Myentirebodyisbruisingalready,andIjusthopeI’mabletomovetomorrow.

Itaketheexitaheadandpullintoagasstationthat’snearlyempty.It’safteroneinthemorning,

butthestreetlampspainttheparkinglotinamysteriousorangeglow.Icanseethefearinhereyesas
shestaresoffintothecloudynightsky.

“Ican’tbelievethataftereverything,you’ddoallthatforme,Travis,”shesaysmomentslater.

Hervoiceissoftandsincere,herbreathingfinallyregulating.

Ishrug,notreallywantingtogetintothedetailsofwhyIinterfered.“Menshouldn’tyellat

womenthatway.”Asmuchassheprobablydeservedit,themomentIheardhimraisehisvoiceand
getinherface,Isnapped.Ifit’dbeenanyotherwoman,Iprobablywould’vedonethesamething,but
thefactthatit’sDrew’sex,ignoringitwasn’tanoption.

Sheslowlyexhales,bowingherhead.“I’msuchanidiot.”
“Yeah,”Isaywithalowchuckle,herhandstillgrippingmine.“Youare.”
Herjawdropsassheturns,eyeswideasshechokesoutalaugh,too.“Youweren’tsupposedto

agreewithme,jerk.”

“Well,Idon’tsugarcoatshit.Ifyou’rebeingapainintheass,I’lltellyou.”
Shelaughs,hershouldersfinallyrelaxing.“That’sactuallyaqualitymostgirlslikeaboutyou,I

bet.”Thelookonherfacecausesmetoreleasemygrip,andshereleasesmyhand.MiaandIhaven’t
spentthatmuchtimetogether,consideringDrewwenttovisithermorethanshevisitedhim.Being
withherfeelsawkward,evenforme.ThemoodshiftsandIdon’tcareforhowshe’slookingatme.

“Mostdon’tstickaroundlongenoughtofindout,”Imutterabittoohonestly.
“Why’sthat?Nottherelationshiptype?”
Icockabrow.“Areyoureallyonetobeaskingmethatquestion?”
“What?YouthinkI’mlikeahorriblepersonnow?”
“Ineversaidthat,butgivenyourcurrentsituation,youmightnotbetherightpersontobetalking

aboutrelationshipswith.”

Shesighs.“Ididn’tcheatonhim,ifthat’swhatyou’rethinking.”
“Iwasn’tthinkinganything.”
“Idoubtthat.IcanonlyimaginethethingsDrewhassaidaboutme.”Herlipsturndown,andIcan

tellshe’sinavulnerableplacerightnow,butshebroughtthisontoherself.

“Helovesyou,”Isay.“Hethinkstheworldofyou.”
Shenods,avoidingmyeyecontact.
“Long-distancerelationshipsarehard.Ididn’tthinkit’dbethishard,butwithDrew’scrazywork

scheduleandmyschoolschedule,thingsjustgotwaymorecomplicatedthanIimaginedtheycould.

Evenwhenhecameuptovisitmeforaweekend,he’dbeonhisphoneallthetimecheckinginat
work,orhe’dbetalkingaboutwork.”

Shesighsandcontinueswithoutwaitingformetorespond.
“He’smarriedtohisjob,andIgotlonely,butthenwhenwearetogetherandthingsaregreat,it

givesmehopethatthingswillstaygreatuntiltheyaren’tagain.”

Thewayshe’sramblingonismakingmyheadspin.Idon’ttalkrelationshipcrapwithanyone,so

Ishouldgetextracreditjustforlisteningtoherbabbleonnow.

“Well,maybeit’sbestyoubothmakeacleanbreak.Sometimesyouhavetoletgoevenwhenit

hurts,becauseyouknowit’swhat’sbest.”

“Wow,”shesayswithasmile,turningtowardme.“WhoknewTravisKingwassopoetic?”
Ilaughandshakemyhead.“Don’ttellanyone.”
Sheflashesagenuinesmile,placingherhandonmycheek.“Iwon’ttell.Thissecretwillbeours.

You’renotasbadasyouwanteveryonetothinkyouare.”

Mylipsturndown.“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”
Shereachesformyhandandsqueezesit.“Well,Ido.”
Miastaresintomyeyes.“You’rejustthedistractionIneed...”

CHAPTERTWO

VIOLA

PresentDay

MiaFuckingMontgomery.
WhatthehellwasTravisdoingwithher?Whythehellweretheytogether?Andwhywasshe

naked?

AllquestionsIprobablywon’tgetanswersto,atleastforawhile.IwanttotrustTravis.Iwantto

believenothinghappenedbetweenhimandMia,butthecircumstancesaren’tlookinggoodrightnow.

Courtneyofferstodrivemeoncesheseeshowbadlymykneesareshaking.IcallDrewaswe

walktotheJeep,tofindoutwhichhospitaltheyweresentto.

“Placerville?”Igasp.“Whythehelldidtheytransferthemupthere?”
“Closesthospitaltothesceneoftheaccident,”heinformsme.He’salreadyupthere,infullcop

mode,buttheyhaven’tallowedhimtoseethemyet.

“Whatwashedoingupthere?”Andwithher?
“Idon’tknow,Vi.YouknoweverythingIdo.”Iheartheconcerninhisvoiceandtrytostaycalm

forbothofoursakes.

“Okay,sorry.I’mjustworriedisall.”
Courtneygivesmealook,knowingI’mfullofshit.AsweclimbintotheJeep,shequietly

suggestsIjusttellDrewandgetitoverwith,butuntilthere’ssomethingtotell,I’mkeepingmylips
sealed.IfhewashangingoutwithMiaandsomethinghappenedbetweenthetwoofthem,there’dbe
nosecrettokeep.There’dbenous.ButIhavetotrytogivehimthebenefitofthedoubtbefore
jumpingtoconclusions,regardlessofhoweasythatis.

Ican’tdenyhowthethoughtofitmakesmythroatdry.I’mnotnaïveenoughtothinkthatsleeping

withTravischangesthings.Itdoesn’tchangewhoheisorwhoIam.Infact,untilIknowwhat
happenedbetweenusthispastweekmeantsomething,andwherewestand,itmaybebettertopretend
itneverhappened.EvenIknowthat’seasiersaidthandone.

I’mlosingmyselfinmythoughtswhenIhearDrewyellingmynamethroughthephone.“Viola!”
“Sorry,I’mhere.”
“Youdon’thavetocomeuphere,youknow?IcankeepyouupdatedonMia.”
Irollmyeyes.“WhataboutTravis?”
“Ifiguredyouprobablydidn’tcare.”
“Drew!”Iscold.“I’mnotarobot.OfcourseIcare.”
“Well,mostdaysyoutwoareateachother ’sthroats.”
“Thatdoesn’tmeanIwanthimtobehurt...orworse.”Irestmyheadagainsttheheadrestofthe

Jeepandinhale,tryingtofocusonthewhitelineonthesideoftheroad.MaybeIshouldjusttellhim...
“Listen,Drew.There’ssomething—”

“Ohhey,thedoctoriscomingout.I’llcallyourightback.”HehangsupbeforeIcanrespond.
“Well,thathastobeasign,”Imuttertomyself.
“What?”Courtneyasks,drivingontothehighway.It’saboutanhourdrive,whichmeansmymind

hasfifty-nineminutestooverthinkeverything.

“Iwasgoingtotellhim,andhecutmeoffassoonashesawthedoctor.”
“Whatexactlywereyougoingtosay?”
Ishrug,knowingIhadn’tthoughtitthrough.“Idon’tknow.ThatTravisandIhatefuckedallover

thehouse,soIhaveareasontobeworried,althoughnowI’mwonderingifhescrewedMiaandifI
shouldgobacktohatinghisfuckinggutsagain.”

Shewidenshereyesandgripsthesteeringwheeltighter.“Perhapsit’sagoodthinghehungup

then.Nomatterwhat,everythingisgoingtobeokay.Gotit?”Shegivesmeahopefulsmile,andwe
rideinsilencetherestoftheway.

Finallyarrivingatthehospital,anxiousbutterfliesswarmmybelly,andIhavenoideawhattoexpect.
CourtneygrabsmyhandaswewalkthroughtheentranceandfindDrewwaitingforus.

Sheleansinandwhispers,“Wouldthisbeabadtimetomentionhowhotyourbrotherlooksright

now?”

Ilookatherandscowl.
“Youguysmadeit,”Drewsaysashewalkstowardus.Hewrapsanarmaroundmyshoulderand

squeezes.HenoticesCourtneyandflashesherasmallsmile.Ofcourse,shemelts,andInudgeher.

“Nursesaidwecouldgoinandseethemsoon,”Drewcontinues.
“Doyouknowwhathappenedyet?Orhowbadthey’rehurt?”Isearchhisfaceforareaction,but

he’scalmandcalculatedwithhiswordsandmovements.Drewisworriedshitlessrightnow.

“Miadidn’thaveherseatbelton,soshe’sbangedupprettybad.Herlungcollapsed,andshe

slammedherheadprettyhard.They’rekeepingherovernightforobservation,soI’mnotsurewhen
she’llbereleased.”

“Gladtohearshe’llsurvive,”Isaydrylybetweengrittedteeth,butit’slostonhim.
“WhataboutTravis?”Courtneyfillsthesilence,andI’msogratefulsheasks.
“Theairbagsdeployed,causingsomeburns,andhesmackedhisheadonthedriver ’ssidewindow

duringimpact.Hehadhisseatbelton,buttheforceoftheimpactbrokeafewribs.He’sbruised,but
he’llsurvive.”

I’mfinallyabletoexhalethebreathI’vebeenholdingsinceIreceivedthecall.TosayI’m

relievedtohearhe’sgoingtobeokayisanunderstatement.

“He’llstayinICUforobservationtomakesurethere’snoswellinginhisbrain,butknowing

Travis,hisheadwasalreadyswelledupasbigashisego,”hecracks,gettingasmallsmileoutofme.

“So,whathappenedexactly?Dotheyknow?”I’mimpatientasIask,butItrytostaycalm.
“Thesherifftoldmebitsandpieces,butuntiltheydoafullaccidentreconstruction,theyonly

knowfromwhatthewitnessestoldthem.Basically,hewasdrivingdowntherampandasemiinthe
rightlanewasn’tmovingover,sohesloweddowntogetbehindit.However,thecarbehindthem
wasn’tpayingattentionandrammedrightintothebackofthematfullspeed,pushingthemforward
intotraffic.Luckily,thereweren’tmanycarswereonthehighwayattwointhemorning.”

Jesus.
MyhearthammersinmychestasIpictureTravisgoingthroughsomethinglikethat.Hecould’ve

beenhurtalotworsehadtherebeenmoretrafficorthesemidriversuddenlysloweddownorthecar
thathithimwasgoingfasteror...

“Viola,”Drew’svoicebreaksmeoutofmythoughtsthatwerepullingmeaway.“He’llbeokay.”
“WhatabouthispreciousChallenger?”Courtneyaskswithamocksmile.
“It’sinbadshape.”
“Priorities,Courtney!”Iscold.
Drewlooksather,holdingbackasmile.It’sthemostattentionhe’spaidtoanygirlsincehis

breakup.Courtneyinstantlylightsup.

“What?It’snotlikeIaskedaboutthecarfirst!”
Heglancesoveratheragain,andIwonderwhathe’sthinkingbecausehisfaceisn’tgivinghim

away.

IrollmyeyesathercommentandfollowDrewashefindsusaspotinthewaitingarea,butI’m

gladshetooktheattentionawayfromme.

WesitandstareattheTV,knowingdamnwellnoneofuscanfocusonwhatevercourtroom

realityshowison.Ihatethis.

Ihatewaiting.
Ihatenotknowing.
Ihatebeingleftinthedark.
It’seatingmeupinside;Ihavetospeakup.“So,anyideawhyTraviswouldbewithMiainthe

firstplace?”

Courtney’seyeswidenasshelookstoDrewforareaction,buthedoesn’tgiveone.
“Nonethatmakeanysense.”Heshrugs,keepinghiseyeslockedonthescreen,payingusno

attentionatall.It’ssuchadudereaction.

“Youdon’tseemtooconcernedthatyourfriendwasinacarwithyourgirlfriendorthatshewas

nakedinhisbackseat.”

Hecracksaweaksmile.“Well,Iknowhewasn’tfoolingaroundwithher,soI’mnotthat

concerned.”Hepausesamoment.“Andtechnically,she’smyex-girlfriendnow,unlessshemagically
changedhermindagain.”Thesadnessinhistonedoesn’tgounnoticed.

Iignoretheex-girlfriendcomment,butCourtneyperksupatthementionofit.
“Travismaybealotofthings,buthe’dneverbetraymelikethat,”hestateswithcertainty.
“Bro-code,”Courtneyadds,andIglareatherwithoutDrewnoticing.
“Therearejustcertainpeopleyoudon’tfoolaroundwith,andhe’dneverdosomethinglikethat

behindmyback.”

Certainpeoplelikeanex-girlfriendorlittlesister...?
AdaggershootsrightintomychestasIhearaboutDrewtalkingaboutthestrongfriendshipand

bondhehaswithTravis.

Courtneyflashesmealook,andIknowwe’reboththinkingit.Ifweweren’tallsittingtogether,

CourtneywouldbeswooningoverDrewalotharder.He’scluelessastohowheaffectsgirls,
especiallyCourtney.EventhoughshewaswithToby,andDrew’sbeenonandoffwithMia,she’s
alwayshadalittlethingforhim.Andtakeseveryopportunitytoremindme.

EvenbeforeTobyandshewereonthepathtobreakupcity,Courtneyhadcrushedhardonhim.

Shortlyafterwefirstmet,shecamewithmetohishouseandnearlywalkedintoabeamthefirsttime
shesawhim.

“Areyouallright?”heaskedher,genuinelyconcerned.
Sheblinkedafewtimes,andDrewtookasteptowardher.
“Fine,”shefinallysaid.“Justwasn’tlookingwhereIwasgoing.”
Henoddedandflashedoneofhisinfamouscharmingsmiles.Drewdoesn’thavetodomuchtogeta

girl’sattention,withhisdark,shaggyhairandtattooslininghisarmsandchest.He’sbuiltlikearock
andwasthereasonguyswouldn’tcometothehousebackinhighschool.Helookedterrifying,butI
knewhehadasoftside,too.

“Stoplookingatmybrotherlikeyouwanttoripoffhisclothes!”IgroanedonceDrewwasoutof

hearingdistance.MyfriendsswooningoverhimwassomethingIhadgottenusedtoinhighschool,
andsomehowitcontinuedtohappenincollege.

Hereyesremainedlockedonhimashewalkeddownthehalltohisbedroom.“Iwanttodoalot

morethanthat...”Herlipstiltedup.“Andthosehandcuffs—”

“Allright,Igetit,”Isaid,cuttingheroff.“YouwanttogoallFiftyShadesonhisass.”
Shechuckled.“Hotcopfantasy.”Sheshruggedunapologetically.
Ismile,rememberingthemoment.She’dbeencompletelydevotedtoToby,andwouldneveract

onanythingoutsideoftheirrelationship,butnowthattherewasnorelationship,Ihopeshe’dfinally
allowherselftogooutandhavesomefun.Sheneedstomeetpeopleandseewhatlifeislikewithouta
relationshipstatusdetermininghereverymove.WithDrewbeingavailable,itmighttakehermindoff
thedirtybreakup.

“AreyouthefriendsofMiaMontgomery?”adoctorwalksuptous,andwealllookup.
“Yes,”Drewsays,standingup.CourtneyandIbothstandupnexttohim.
“She’sprettydrowsyfromthepainmedicationwegaveher,butyoucanseeheroneatatimefor

afewminutes.”

“Whataboutthedriver,TravisKing?”Iaskbeforehecanwalkaway.
“He’sonsomeprettyheavypainkillersaswell,butafewminutesshouldbeokay.”
“Justenoughtimeforyoutoputapillowoverhishead,”Drewteases.Thedoctorgivesa

disapprovinglookbutdoesn’tcomment.

“That’sprettyharsh,”Isay,followingbehindhim.
Hechuckles.“Sorry,Ididn’tknowyoutwobecamebestfriendssinceIleft.”
Courtneysnortsbehindme,andIturnaround,flashingheraglare.
“Um,definitelynot.Doesn’tmeanI’dwanthimdead.”
“Allright,gocheckonhimwhileIcheckonMia.”
“Okay.”
“MiaMontgomeryisin707,andTravisKingisin713,justdownthathall.”Thedoctordirectsus.

Weboththankhim.“Justafewminutes,”heremindsus.

CourtneywalkswithmetoTravis’roombutdoesn’tfollowmeinside.
“I’llwaitoutheresoyoutwocanbealone.”
Ipursemylipsandexhale.“Okay.”
Iknocksoftlyonthedoorbeforeslowlyopeningit.I’mnotsurewhattoexpect,butIjustneedto

visuallyconfirmthathe’sokay.

“Travis?”Iwalkquietlyuptohisbed,takinginhisclosedeyesandthebandageoverhisforehead.

“Canyouhearme?”Itakehishand,feelingthewarmthagainstmine,andwaitforaresponse.

HehasanIVinhisotherhand,hisleftkneeisproppeduponpillowsunderthesheets,andhisface

isbruisedandswollen.I’veneverseenhimlikethisbefore,andforthefirsttime,helooks
vulnerable.Mychestaches,seeinghisbodylyingalmostlifeless,hischestslowlyrisingandfalling,
andIcan’thelpbutwanttokisseverybruisedpartofhim.

Sittingontheedgeofhisbed,IkeephishandinmineandhopehecanhearwhatI’mabouttosay.
“Idon’tknowifyoucanhearme,butit’sV.”Ichokedowntearsandlaughter.“Ican’tbelieveI

justcalledmyselfthat.”

Iwait,hopinghe’llrespondandjoininonourinsidejoke,buthedoesn’tflinch.Iwatchhischest

moveupanddown,asthesoundsofthemachinesfilltheroom.

“Youlookprettyawful,butthedoctorsaysyoushouldbebacktoyournormalselfinnotime.

Truthfully,seeingyoulikethisistearingmeapart.”

Iswallowandcatchmybreath,andthenIbegintoramble.“Idon’tknowwhyyouandMiawere

together,andIhonestlydon’tthinkIwanttoknow.I’mgoingtotrytotrustyou,Travis.It’llbehard
becauseofourpast,butI’mgoingtotrytobemorelikeDrew.Itdoesn’tfazehimatallthatyouwere

withMia,anditremindedmethatalthoughyou’reanassholemostofthetime,youwouldn’tdo
anythinglikethattoDrew.Apparently,there’ssomesortofbrocode.”Ishakemyheadatthethought.

“Tobehonest,Ihopeyouwouldn’tdothattomeeither,butIdon’tknowwherewestandandwhat

we’redoing.Whenyougetoutofhere,andyou’renothookedtomachineslikeDarthVader,we’re
goingtohavetotalk—likearealtalk—aboutus.Ineedtoknowthatwe’reonthesamepageand
whereweshouldgofromhere.Iwanttotrustyou,Travis,andI’mgoingtotryreallyhard.Please
don’tmakemeregretwearingmyheartonmysleeve.”

Isitnexttohimforafewmoreminutes,watchinghimsleep.RealizingI’vebeeninhisroomway

toolong,Isqueezehishand,wishinghe’dsqueezeitback,butheneverdoes.Istandupandleanover
him,carefulnottotouchorputweightonhischestandpressmylipstohis.

“Bye,Travis,”Iwhisper.
Iwalktowardthedoor,wipingmyfaceastearsbeginfallingdownmycheeks.Ican’tstandtosee

himsovulnerableandbroken;it’stearingmeapart.BeforeIcanopenthedoor,anursewalksinand
immediatelystudiesmyface.

“Oh,it’sokay,sweetie.”Sheflashesmeagenuinesmile.“Mr.Kingwillhaveafullrecoveryina

fewweeks.He’sprettydruggeduponpainkillersrightnow,butI’lllethimknowyouwerehere.”

AllIcandoisnodandreachforthedoor.
Ireallyhopethisisn’tgameover.

CHAPTERTHREE

TRAVIS

Theconstantbeeppullsmebacktoaharshrealitywithwhitewashedwallsandnumbingpainthat

coatsmybodyfromheadtotoe.Iforcemyeyesopen,andit’shardtopinpointwhathurtsthemost.
Mythroatispainfullydry,andthethickheadfogI’mswimminginmakesithardtofocusinthebland
room.Iglancedownatthecountlesstubesattachedtomyarmandbrokenmemoriescutthroughthe
confusionlikeshardsofglassIcan’tpiecetogether.

TherhythmictoneofthemachineI’mattachedto,andthelowsoundofthetelevision,pullsmy

limitedattentiontothecorneroftheroom.Ican’tmakeoutthewords,andittakeseverythingIhave
justtoturnmyheadtowardthenoise.OnceI’mabletofocus,IhearrustlingandwatchasDrewsits
upfromthechair.Herubsahandoverhisfaceandflashesasmallgrin.He’swearinghisbluesand
badge,anditsomewhatconfusesme.

“TheKinglives.”
IthurtswhenItrytolaughandendupcoughinginstead.“Barely.”
“Youlookrough.”
Hedoestoo,butIdon’ttellhimthat.Hemust’vebeensittinghereawhile.
Helooksmeover,concernwrittenonhisface.“Howdoyoufeel?”
“Likeshit,”Iadmit.“Whathappened?Whatdayisit?”
Abandageiswrappedaroundmyhead,andIrealizeI’vegotonewrappedaroundmylegtoo.

Nauseaovertakesmeforasecond,andItrytorepositionmybody,butit’salostcause.Thebedis
raisedupsohigh;I’mbasicallysittingupstraight,whichisuncomfortableashell.Myneckistight,
andtheloudpoundinginmyheadcontinuesonthebeat,makingithardertofocusonanythingbutthe
intensepain.Itryreachingfortheplasticcupofwaterthat’sonasilvertraynexttomybed,butit’s
outofreach.

“I’llgetit,”Drewsays,grabbingitandhandingittome.“It’sTuesdaymorning.”
Itakeit,hatingthatIneedhishelp.Iendupdrinkingitsofast,Igaspforairafterward,andeven

thathurts.Hiswordsfinallyregisterwithme.Tuesday?IknowI’vebeeninandoutofit,butfourdays
ofmylifehasevaporatedintowhatseemedlikehours.

Drewtakesadeepbreathbeforehestartsexplainingthetechnicalityoftheaccidentincoplingo.I

givehimalook,lettinghimknowIhavenofuckingideawhathe’stalkingabout,sohebeginsagain,
explainingitmoreslowlyandwithoutasmuchdetailsoIcancomprehenditall.

“Youwererear-endedatahighrateofspeedandpushedintooncomingtraffic.Afewfractured

ribs,aconcussion,bruises,cuts,andlotsofpainmeds,fromwhatI’vebeentold.Theairbagwentoff
andcausedalotofdamage.Buttheysaidyou’dlive,andthatyourthickskullwillbeokay.”Heforces
outalaugh.“Iwasworried,though,man.Theysaidyoubothcould’vedied,andyouwerereally
lucky.Ithoughttheworst.I’veseenwaytoomanyaccidentslikethiswherepeoplearen’tas
fortunate.”Heinhalesadeepbreath,hiseyesglassingover.“AndMia...”

Shit.I’dalmostforgottenshewaswithme.Bitsandpiecesofthatnightstarttoflashby,butwhenI

trytoremembertheaccident,mymindgoesblank.Ican’trememberadamnthingafterleavingthe
gasstation.

TheselfishpartofmeisgratefulViolawasn’tinthecarwithme.Icouldneverforgivemyselfif

anythinghappenedtoheronmywatch.

“How’sMia?”MyheartthumpshardinmychestattherealizationIwasresponsibleforanother

personinthecar.

“She’sdoingokay.Shegotlucky;youbothdid.Shecould’veeasilybeenejectedfromthecar

becauseshewasn’twearingaseatbelt.Shesmackedherheadandhasalotofbruises,”Drewexplains.

Thepainonhisfaceisevidentashetalksabouther.Theirrelationshiphasbeentoxicsinceday

one,butforsomereason,helovesherunconditionally.I’veneversecond-guessedthat,buthe
deservessomeonealotbetterthanher.Evenaftereverything,Iknowhestillcaresaboutherwell-
being.

“I’msorry,man,”Ibegin,relievedshe’snothurtworse.“IwishIcouldrememberwhathappened,

butIcanexplainwhyshewaswithme.”Hehadn’taskedwhy,butevenbeinghighasakiteonpain
meds,IknowIowehimthatmuch.“MiaandI—,”Istarttoexplain,buthe’squicktocutmeoff.

“Travis,stop.Itrustyoumorethananyone.Youneedtorestandshouldn’twasteyourstrength

explaininganythingtome.”

Iwanttoargue,tellhimthatIdohavetoexplainthecircumstancesthatbroughtMiaandItogether

onThursdaynight,butbetweenthemedsandthetruthofhiswordsrippingthroughme,I’mleft
speechless.

“Ascrazyasitsounds,Imisshersofuckingmuch.Shewon’tletmebethereforher,andeven

afterwhatshesaidtomethelastnightweweretogether,Iwanttobethereforhermorethan
anything.”

“Becauseyou’reagoodman,”Ichokeout.Hetrulyis,andasmuchasitwouldhurtforhimto

hear,Miadoesn’tdeservehim.Drewdeservesbetter.

Heshrugs.“Herparentscameuprightaway,soIgavethemprivacy.Idon’tknowwhatMiatold

themaboutus,soIfigureditwasbesttostayawayandletherrest.”

“I’msorry,”Isaysoftly,nothavingthestrengthtotellhimaboutWillTamer.Damnher.I’dlike

tohaveforgottenthosedetails,buttheyareasclearasaCaliforniasummersky.

“YourmomwashereonSaturday,”hesays,changingthesubject.Iarchmybrows,surprisedto

hearshecame.“Stayedforhours,butthenursesaidyouprobablywouldn’tbecoherentforafew
days,soItoldhertogohomeandgetsomerest,andI’dcallherwhenyouwereupforvisitors.”

Iswallowhardandguiltwashesoverme.Ihaven’tcalledandcheckedonherrecently.Lifegotin

thewayisnotagoodenoughexcuse.Ican’tfindmywordsandallIwanttodoisgobacktosleep,
butmymindwon’tstopwanderingandthinkingwhatif.

“Violacheckedinonyou,too,”Drewcontinues.“Surprisedshedidn’tsetaspelltoputyouina

permanentcoma.”Hechuckles,makingmesmileatthethoughtofherbeinghere.

Viola.
Ifeellikeshitforthewaythingswereleftbetweenus.God,Imissher.Ican’timaginewhatshe’s

thinkingaboutmebeingwithMia,butIknowitcan’tbegood.Drewcontinuestalking,fillingthe
roomwithwords,andIkeeptryingtolisten,butwitheverypassingminute,itbecomesharder.Focus
slipsthroughmyfingerslikewater.

“Badnews,though,”hesays,hiswordsbringingmebacktohim,“theChallengeristotaled.”
“Fuckinghell,”Icurse,exhaustioncompletelycoveringmelikeawarmblanket.Myeyesare

heavy,andI’mfightingtostayawake,butI’mdriftingfartherandfartherawayfromDrew’svoice.
Sooneverythinggoesblack.

Iwakeuptoadarkroomandamcompletelydisorientedonwhattimeitisorifit’seventhesameday.

Ihavenofuckingideaanymore.IglancearoundandseeatrayoffoodwithgreenJell-Oandtwo
plasticcupsofliquid.Idon’thaveanappetite,butmythroatisstilldry.

I’mabletoreachoverandgraboneofthecups.AsIfinishofftheapplejuice,IrealizeIhaveto

piss.Idon’tknowifthere’sacatheterinmeornot,soIshifttotheendofthebedtofindmywayto
thebathroom.

Withinseconds,Irealizethepainistoomuch,andIcan’tliftmyselfup.Jesus.Thisfuckingsucks.

Ifeellikeapathetic,weakpansy.

Iseetheremoteonthesideofmybedwithabigredbuttonandpressitforhelp.
“Nurses’station.”
“Uh,yeah...IthinkIneedsomehelp.”
Thewomanclearsherthroat.“WhatcanIhelpyouwith,Mr.King?”
Myvoicedropstoawhisper,andI’mhumiliatedevenasking.“Uh,bathroom.”
“Whatwasthat?Speakup,honey.Icanbarelyhearyou.”
Igroan,curlingmyfingersintofists.Fuckit;I’lldoitmyself.AsItrytostandagain,mybody

screamsoutinprotestandfrustrationgetsthebestofme.

Surrendering,Irespond,“Pissing.Ineedtopiss,okay?”
“I’llsendsomeonein.”
Atleasttenminutespassandmybladderfeelslikeit’sgoingtoexplode.They’vebeenpumping

mefulloffluidsandmedicineforhours,andit’sfinallycaughtuptome.I’mtwosecondsawayfrom
pissingonthefloorwhenagray-hairedwomanwalksin.

“Gladtoseeyou’reawake.”Shesmiles.“I’mNancy.”
AllIcanofferherisanimpatientsmile.Shepullstheblanketsfurtherbackandadjustsherbody

infrontofmetohelpmybalance.

“Ithurtstobreathe,”Itellherbeforeattemptingtostandonceagain.
“Fracturedribswilldothat.You’llprobablybestifffrombeinginbedforsolong,soit’seven

moreimportanttostartwalkingaroundnowthatyou’reoutofthehaze.”Shegivesmeherarm,andI
feelguiltyforleaningagainsthersmallframe.IttakeseverythingIhavenottoscreamoutinpain
whenIgettomyfeet.Dizzinesssurroundsme,myheadfeelslikeitsplittingintwo,andIgrabthe
womanlikeshe’smysavinggrace.

Wetakesmallstepsallthewaytothebathroom,whichisn’tthatfar,butsomehowitfeelslike

we’llnevergetthere.Shepullsthemachineandfluidsbehindmeandkeepsonearmaroundmywaist.

“Doyouwantmetowalkinwithyou?”sheasksinacasualtone.
“No,”Isaybeforeshefollowsmein.“Thanks,butIshouldbefine.”Ispotthemetalrailingalong

thewallandholdontoitforbalance.

“I’llberightoutsidethedoor,”sheinformsme,turningherback.
Thisisfuckinghumiliating.
Ineedtheaddedstability,soIholdon—myknuckleswhitefromthetightgrip.OnceI’mfinished,

Irubantibacterialfoaminmyhandsandwalkouttowhereshe’swaitingforme.Sheplacesherarm
aroundme,andwemakeourlongjourneybacktothebed.Abreezebrushesacrossmybareass,andI
realizethere’snothingunderneaththethinhospitalgown.I’msurethenursehasseenaneyeful
alreadywhilewalkingmetothebathroom,butIdon’thavetheenergytocare.

Shemustnoticemydiscomfort,becauseassoonasIturntositbackdownonthebed,I’mquickto

coverbackup.“Don’tworry,hon.I’veseenitallinmythirtyyearsofbeinganurse.”Shegrins,but
thatdoesn’thelpeasemyconcern.

I’maproudmanandnotshyaboutmybody,butthiswomanisoldenoughtobemygrandmother.
Shehelpsmesettlebackintothebed,coveringmeupandpushingthetrayclosertome.
“Youshouldtrytoeatsomething,”shesays.

Inod,notwantingtotacklethatfeatjustyet,butIdon’targuewithher.
“Thisisforyourmorphinedrip.”Sheplacesthecordacrossmylap,alongwiththeremotethat

hasacallbutton.“Ifyoufeelmorepaincomingon,pushthisbutton.Youcangetanotherdoseevery
seventeenminutesifyouneedit.”

Itellherthankyou,andsheremindsmetopressthecallbuttonifIneedanythingelse.Isliquoran

option?

“Thedoctorwillgooveryourfileandcheckinonyouaroundsevenoreight.Aslongasyour

statsarestable,youshouldhavenoissuegettingdischargedwithinadayortwo.”Hersmileis
genuine,andshehasasweetdemeanor,justlikemymother.

“Andtodayiswhatdayexactly?”
“Thursday,honey.Westartedgivingyoulesspainmedicationandremovedyourcatheter,so

thingsshouldstartfeelingbacktonormalsoon.”

IknewitfeltlikeIwaspissingfire.AsIliftmylegsandleanbackontothepillow,Ilookoverand

seemycellphonesittingonthecounter.Nancynoticesandhandsthemover.Itrytoturnmyphone
on,butit’sdead.Iletoutafrustratedgroan.

“IsthataniPhone?”
“Yes,ma’am.”
Nancysmilesthenwinks.“I’vegotachargerforyoubackatthenurses’station.Youprobably

wanttogetintouchwiththatgirlthat’sbeencallingtocheckonyouseveraltimesaday.”

Shesmilesandfinishesenteringtheupdatesintothecomputerbeforequietlywalkingoutand

shuttingthedoorbehindher.Iglanceattheclockandseeit’sjustafter3:00a.m.Iprobablywon’tget
muchsleepatthispoint,butmybodyisbeggingforit.I’veneverfeltsodrainedinmyentirelife.

WhenIclosemyeyes,imagesofViolafillmymind.Icanalmosttasteherlipsonmine,andI

cringeasIrememberthelookonherfacewhensheleftthehouse.Iwishwedidn’tleavethingsthe
waywedid,butI’mdeterminedmorethanevertomakeitrightagain.Thedooropensandcloses
beforeIhearNancypluginmyphone.IfIweren’tsoexhausted,anditwasn'tsolate,I’dcallViola
rightnowjusttohearhervoice.

Beforefallingbackasleep,IthinkaboutMia,andhowshe’sacompletefuckingmess.Drewneeds

toknowthetruth,butIknowit’llhurthimmorethananything.Iftheirrelationshipistrulyover,
there’snopointindiggingtheknifedeeper.

IthinkabouthowMiawasstartingtofreakout,soIpulledoffthehighwayandintoaparkinglot

tohelpcalmherdown.ShewasnearlyintearsandknowingDrewwouldn’twanthertobeupset;I
triedcomfortingherthebestthatIcould.

BeforeIcanthinkaboutwhathappenedafterthat,I’mrippedawayfrommythoughtsofhertothe

thoughtsofmycar.Memoriesofthesoundsofbreakingglassandcrashingmetalstarttosurface,but
Ican’tvisualizeanyofit,whichalmostmakesitworse.Maybeit’sforthebest,butIwishIcould
eraseallthememoriesofwhathappenedfrommymind.

SharppainstabsmeinthechestasIlingeronmythoughts.Beforetheycantransforminto

nightmares,Ipushthemiraclebuttontoeraseitall,andsoonenough,I’mdriftingintonothingness.

VIOLA

I’vebeencompletelyoutofitsinceIsawTravisinhishospitalbedonFridaymorning.It’sbeen

eightgruelingdaysandthefactthatschoolstartsbacktomorrowdoesn’thelp.Wheredidthetimego?
MostofitwasspenttryingtoworkoutthescenariothatledTravisandMiatogether.Idon’tknowthe
circumstances,butI’mgoingtotrytogivehimthebenefitofthedoubt.Notknowinghasbeen

torture,butIwon’tallowmyselftojumptoconclusionsuntilwetalk.Idon’tknowwhatIshouldbe
thinkingordoingrightnow,butonethingisforcertain:Ican’thandleanotherbrokenheartbecause
ofhim.

Atthebeginningofspringbreak,IsaidIdidn’twanttobearoundTravis.Now,it’storturebeing

awayfromhim.IwakeupSundaymorningtotheringingofmyphone.MyheartraceswhenIsee
Travis’nameflashacrossthescreen.Iquicklyanswer,andbutterfliesmixedwithananxiousfeeling
swarmmyentirebody.

“Princess...”
“Travis?”
“I’vemissedyou.”Hesoundsweak,andhisthroatisraspy.
Myheartthumpshardinmychest,andIchokebacktears.“I’vebeencallingeverydaytoget

updates.I’vebeensoworried.”

“Iknow.I’mbeingreleasedtoday,though,andthenwecantalk.Thedoctor ’swalkingin.I’llsee

yousoon.”

“Okay,”Iaddjustbeforethecallends.
Myheadisabitclearernow,knowinghe’sfinallybeingreleased,butIwon’tbeateaseuntil

Travisishome.Findingouthewaswithagirl—Mia,ofallpeople—stillmakesmychestclenchwith
asharpache.WilltherealwaysbeaMiainthepicture?OrSarahfromtheBaroraRachel?Ican’t
rememberatimeinTravisKing’slifewherehedidn’thavealonglineofconquestsathisbeckand
call.Thatoldnaggingfeelingreturnsinthepitofmystomach,butIforceitaway.

Idragmyselfoutofbedandheadtothekitchenforsomecoffee.WhileIwaitforittobrew,I

begincollectingmythingsfromaroundthehouse,becauseclassstartsbacktomorrowandIneedto
getbacktomydorm.ItfeelslikeadifferentlifetimefromwhoIwaswhenIleftthedormtwoweeks
ago.

OnceI’veplacedmycrapbythedoor,Ipouracupofsteaminghotcoffee,addasplashofmilk

andaspoonfulofsugar.AsI’mstirringmyliquidmagic,Drewspeaksfrombehindme,scaringthe
livingshitoutofme.Ijump,nearlyspillingmyperfectconcoctionofcaffeine.

“Whatthehell?”Igasp,glaringathim.“Warnagirlbeforeyoucreepuponher.”
“Someone’sjumpythismorning.”Hemovesaroundmeandgrabsamugforhimself.
Iwatchashepoursitandinstantlytakesasip.
“Gross.”Imakeagaggingnoise.“Howcanyoudrinkthatblack?”
“Ican’tdrinkbasicbitchcoffee,Vi.”Hetakesanothersipjusttotauntme.
“Atleastaddsomesugar.”
Hewrinkleshisnoseandshakeshishead.“What’supwithyourcrapbythedoor?Didyoufinally

getyourlettertoHogwarts?”

Iglareathim.“He’sgotjokes,”Isaywithmockamusement.
“So,whichhousewillyoubesortedin?SlytherinorGryffindor?Actually,nowI’mthinking

you’remoreofaHufflepuff.”Hislipscurlintoacockysmirk.

“You’resuchajerk!”Iplayfullyswingathim,buthe’sallmusclesandbarelyflinches.“You

bettertakethatback!”Itrytoholdbacklaughter,butthewayhedodgesmyhitsmakesithard.

“Youhitlikeagirl,”hequips,smirkingoverhismug.
Irollmyeyes.“Iamagirl,”Isay.“Agirlwhousedtokickyourass,too.”
Hesnorts.“Youmean,Iletyoukickmyass.”
“You’resuchaliar!”
Hetiltshisheadatme,daringmetochallengehim.
“Youknow,forsomeonewhomocksHarryPotterallthetime,yousuredoknowalotaboutit.”I

crossmyarmsandgivehimanevilgrinbecauseIknowhe’sjustasnerdyasIam.Hejustlikesto

hideitbehindhisbigmuscles,inkedarms,andshinybadge.

“I’veseenthemoviesahundredtimes,thankstoyou.Onlynerdsreadthebooks.”
Isnarl.“Areyoutryingtopissmeoffthisearlyinthemorning?”
Hefinisheshiscoffeewithasmirkonhisface,eventhoughI’veonlytakenasinglesipofmine.

Afterpouringanothercupofcoffeeandchuggingit,hespeaksupagain.“I’mpickingTravisupfrom
thehospitalinafew.IaskedtheChiefifIcouldcomeinalittlelatertodaybecausehe’sbeing
dischargedanyminute.Wannarideuptherewithme?”

“Nah,I’mgood.”Itrytoputonmybestpokerface,butI’mnotsurehowconvincingIlook.I

didn’tdarementionIalreadyknew.Ihidemyexcitementandputupmyfront.Ipretendtofeel
indifferentabouthimcominghome,thoughmyheartinstantlyracesatthesoundofhisnameandI
stillhaveamillionquestions.

“Allright.Well,Ishouldbebackinafewhoursthen.”
“Okay.”Iavoideyecontact,takinganotherdrinkofthebestcoffeeintheworld,hopingitwill

covermyemotionsthatarereadytoboilover.IexhaleandlookatDrew.He’sstaringatmeintently,
andforamomentIwonderwhatthehellhe’sgoingtoaskme.Doesheknow?No.He’snotsmiling
oranything,andIbegintofreakout.

“What?”Iask,reluctantly.
Drewsetshisemptycupdown.
“It’saboutyouandTravis.”
MyheartracesandIinstantlyshakemyheadatthewayhe’slookingatme.Ifighttheurgetosay

anythingincaseI’mbeingparanoid.

“Askmeanything,”Ilie,channelingmyinnerTravisKingisanassholeactthatI’veperfected

overtheyears.Iswallowhard,watchingandwaitingforhimtospeak.DamnDrew.Theanticipation
eatsmealive.

“Ineedafavor.”
“Classstartstomorrow,andIwon’treallybearoundtodoanymorefavors.”
Inodmyheadtowardmybagsthatarewaitingformeatthefrontdoor.
“Well,see...that’snotreallygoingtoworkforme.OrTravis.”
Mymouthfallsopen.He’swaysmarterthanhelooks,andIknowwhateverhe’sabouttosayhas

alreadybeenworkedoutinhishead.Evenwhenwewerekids,hewasanegotiator,andnotmuchhas
changedsincethen.

“Thisweekbetweenclasses,doyouthinkyoucouldcomeoverandcheckonhim?”Heflashesa

genuinesmile,oneofthosecharmingsmirksthatmakegirlslikeCourtneyswoon.Beinghissister,I
haveageneticimmunitytohischarm.

“Iwon’thavetime,”Isaywithcertainty,hopingIsoundconvincing,butIknowIcanmakeit

work.

Allhedoesislaugh,notbelievingmywords.
“Iwon’tbearoundtohelphim,butsinceyou’rerightdowntheroad...”
“Don’tactlikeyoudon’tgoofoffwhenyou’reonpatrol.Allthosedonuts...”
“Numberone:Idon’teatthatshit,andyouknowit.Numbertwo:Youalreadysurvivedhimduring

springbreak,sowhat'reafewhoursbetweenclasses?”

Focusingonmycoffee,Idon’thaveanywords.AtleastnotanyIcansayaloud.Allsortsof

thoughtsarerunningthroughmymind,butDrew’svoicebringsmebacktoreality.

“Look,Iknowyoucan’tstandtobeinthesameroomashim,andyou’llprobablypoisonhimby

theweekend,buthereallyneedsyou,andyou’realittlegenius,soyoudon’tneedtostudyasmuchas
youdo.”

Myheartfeelslikeitmaybeatoutofmychest.Mypalmsaresweaty,andDrewisenjoyingputting

meonthespotalittletoomuch.

“Please,Vi.I’llevenhaveStarbuckswaitingforyouafterclass.”
Fightingasmile,Isay,“Wow,youreallyaredesperate.”Ialmostfeelbadforplayinghimlike

this.

“I’ddoanythingforTravis,”hestatessogenuinely.“ButIcan’tbelatetoworkevenifIbegged.

TheChiefwillhavemyhead,andmypartnerwon’ttakemyshit.”

Iletoutadeepbreath,actingdefeated.“Allright,fine.Butyouowemehuge.AnyfavorthatIcan

useatanytimeIwant.”

Drewholdsouthishand,andweshakeonit.“Deal.I’llallowyoutocashinononereasonable

favor.I’macop,notamillionaire.”

Ismile.“VentiWhiteMocha.”
“Whatthehelldoesthatmean?”Helooksutterlyconfused,andIchuckleathisexpense.
“MyStarbucksorder.IwantaVentiWhiteMochawithanextrashotandablueberrymuffin.”
“Wait,Ididn’tagreeonthemuffin—”
Ishoothimalook,challenginghimtofallbackonourdeal.
“Fine,”hestatesbetweengrittedteeth.“Youplaytobustballs.”
“It’soneofmybestqualities,”Isaywithacheesygrin.
“Youhavetoactuallybehelpful,though,Vi.He’sgoingtobesoreandonpainmeds.Justmake

himsomelunchandmakesurehestayshydrated.”

“So,playBettyCrockerandgreethisone-nightstandsatthedoor?”Thewordsleavemymouth

beforeIcanstopmyself.

Heshakeshisheadatmewithaknowinggrin.“IfIdidn’tknowanybetter,I’dsayyoutwowere

secretlyinlovewitheachother.”

Inearlychokeonmysaliva.
“Relax,Iwasjustkidding.”Hepatsmeontheback.“Anyway,Igottaheadout.TheChiefabout

hadananeurysmwhenIaskedforahalf-day.”

Hewalksoverandwrapshisbigarmsaroundme,squeezingmesotightithurts.Isquealandtry

towiggleoutofhistightgrip.He’salwaysbeensomuchbiggerthanme,andheknowshowmuchI
hateitwhenhehugsmelikethatbecauseit’spainful.“Drew,stop!”

“You’rethebestlittlesisterever.”Hereleasesme,andbeforehewalksoutofthekitchen,heturns

andsmiles.“Thanksagain.Itmeansalottome,andIknowit’llmeanalottohim.He’llappreciatethe
help,evenifhedoesn’tsayit.”

WhenIhearthedoorclickshut,Iletoutadeepsigh.AsmuchasIshouldbekeepingmydistance

whileTravisisinthiscondition,Ican'tfathomthethoughtofhimbeingaloneallweekwhilehe's
recovering.

IreachformyphoneandtextCourtney,lettingherknowthenewplan.I’llinviteheroverand

allowhertodrooloverDrewonenightthisweek.

V:DrewgavemehisstupidbeggingeyesandbribedmewithStarbucks.I’vebeenvoluntoldto
takecareofTravisallweek,butI’mnotcomplaining.

C:IcouldstareintoDrew’sgorgeouseyesforhours.Ican’twaittocomeoverand“visit.”It’s
almostasifDrewissettingyouupfor“success”...ifyouknowwhatImean.

V:Focus,Court.Andgross.I’lltextyouoncehe’shome.

Igrabmybagsandboxesandcarrythemouttomycar.Returningtoschooltomorrowisalmost

bittersweet.AfterIplaceeverythinginmytrunk,IheadbacktoDrew’sroomandwait.Isitonthe
edgeofthebed,andfallbackandstareattheceiling.TherealizationthatI’mgoingtobehere
betweenclassesmakesmefeelmorenervousthanbeforeaboutbeingaroundTravis.Butseeinghim
bruisedandbrokenisgoingtokillme.

Istartlefromthebedatthesoundofthefrontdoorclosing.IlookaroundandrealizeImust’vefallen
asleep.IcheckmyphoneandseeafewmessagesDrewsentlettingmeknowtheywereonthewayand
theywerealmosthome.

IcanhearthefaintsoundofDrew’svoicefollowedbythemuffledsoundsofTravis’voice.

Momentslateralightknocktapsagainstthedoor,andIsitstraightup,hairamess,andyellthatit's
open.

Drewcracksopenthedoor.“Travisisinbed.He’sprettytired,andIhavetogettowork.Ifhe

wakesupandneedssomething,canyouhelp?”

“Doesthismeanhousearrestbeginsnow?”
“That’sagreatidea.MaybeIcanseeaboutgettingyouoneofthoseanklebraceletsforconvicts

soIcantrackyoureverymove.”

Irollmyeyesathim.
“Thanks,sis!You’rethebest.”Drewwinksbeforeheshutsthedoor.
Itrytoconcentrateonmybreathing,butallIcanheararethehardbeatsofmyheart.Standingup,

Ibrushmyfingersthroughmyhair,thenadjustmyshirtandmakesureIlookcompletelyunaffected
beforeslippingoutofDrew’sroom.IwalktheshortdistancedownthehalltoTravis’roombutstop
beforeopeningit.

Ican’tbelievehowanxiousIfeelrightnow,seeinghimforthefirsttimesincethehospital.Ihave

noideawhatheremembersorifheremembersmebeingthereatall.Idon’tknowwhattoexpect,
consideringourphoneconversationwassoshort.Theunknownhasbeenandcontinues,drivingme
crazy.

Swallowinghard,Isoftlyknockonthedoor.
“Comein.”Iheartheweaknessinhisvoice,andittakeseverythinginmetomovemyfeet.
IpushopenthedoorandseeTravisproppeduponpillows.Hisfaceisslightlyswollenand

bruised,anditlookslikehehasn’tsleptindays,thoughthat’sallhe’sbeendoingforaweek.Icringe
whenIstudythebandagesonhisheadwhereitsmackedintotheglass.

Hewatchesmyexpression.“Youshouldseetheotherguy.”Hislipsturnupinacockysmirk.
Ishakemyheadandlickmylipsthatsuddenlyfeeldry.“I’msureitwasanunfairmatch.”
“Well,fourthousandpoundsofbadassmusclecaragainstaneighty-thousand-poundsemiwasn’t

exactlyafairfight,buthey,Ilivetotellthetale.”Hesmilesasifhe’stryingtomakemelaughand
bringlighttothesituation,whichitpartiallydoes,giventheawkwardcircumstances.

“Well,Iwasreallyworriedaboutyou,”Isay,takingastepinsidebutnotgettingtooclose.“I’m

reallygladyou’reokay.”Theconcernisevidentinmytone,andmypokerfaceisquicklyfadingthe
moreIlookathim.

“Princess,comehere.”Hiseyesarehooded,hisvoicesoundingpainedfrommydistance.My

heartsinks,andIwanttoruntohimandtalktohimabouteverything,butmyexpressiondoesn’t
change.MyfeetfeelliketheyaregluedtothefloorandIcan’tmove,notwithhiseyesonme,
lookingatmesointenselythatitmakesmeweak.

“Isitsafe?”Itiltmylipsupslightly.
“Iwon'tbreak,”heinsists.

“Clearly.”
Hepatshispalmonthebednexttohim.
“Idon'twanttohurtyou,though,”Isay,hesitating.
“Trustme.TheonlythingkeepingmegoingthepastcoupleofdayswasknowingI'dgettosee

yourbeautifulfaceandkissyoursoftlips.”

“Well,Iseetheaccidentdidn’taffectyourabilitytocharm.”
“It’dtakealotmorethanthat.”Hewinks.
Igiveinandsitontheedgeofthebednexttohim,carefultokeepmydistance.
“Iknowweshouldprobablytalk,”Ibegin,“butwhenyou’refeelingbetter.Youshouldberesting

soyoucangetbacktoyourcocky-assself.”

“Let’stalknow,”heinsists,pushinghimselfuphigheronthepillows,butIcantellbythewayhe

cringesthathisbodyisstillsore.

Ishakemyhead.“Whenyoufeelbetter,wewill.You’realldruggeduponpainmeds.”
“Itdoesn’thavetowait,I’mfine,”hetriestobrushoffthepain,butIcanseerightthroughhis

bullshit.

“Really?”Igivehimapointedlook.“Howmanyelementsareintheperiodictable?”
Hefurrowshisbrows.“Seventy-five?”
“Wrong.It’sonehundredandfourteen!”Irespondconfidently.“See,you’renotintherightstate

ofmind.”

Heleanshisheadbackandlaughs.Iwatchashisthroatmovesandthinkaboutthelasttimewe

weretogetherinhisbed.“Tobefair,Iwouldn’tknowtheanswertothatquestion,eitherway,you
littlenerd.”

Inarrowmyeyesathimandholdbackasmile.
“Lookatus—havinganactualconversationwithoutarguing,”hesays,coveringhishandover

mine.

“Don’tgetcocky,”Itease.“Whenthedrugsarealloutofyoursystem,you’llbebacktopissing

meoff,I’msure.”

“IcandothatwhileI’mondrugs,”hemocks.
IlaughbecausethisisthefirsttimeinyearsTravisandIhavehadanormalconversation.
“Gladtoseenothing’schangedthen.”
“Princess,comeon.ImightbebruisedinplacesIdidn’tevenknowcouldbruise,andmyribs

mightbefracturedandhurtlikeamotherfucker,butIcanseethequestionswrittenalloveryourface.
So,justaskme.Youknowyoucanaskmeanything.”

Ipullmylipsintomymouthandexhalethroughmynose.“Fine.WhywasMianakedinyour

backseat?”

“Goingrightforthejugular,”heteases.
MaybeIshouldn’thaveblurtedthatout.
“Nevermind.”Istartshiftingoffthebed.
“Wait...Viola,pleasedon’tgo,”hepleads,andIwait.“There’salotweneedtotalkabout.I’vebeen

lyinginbedthelastweek,andthephysicalpainisnothingcomparedtohavingyouwalkawayfrom
me,knowingIcan’tchaseyou.”

“Thenjusttellme,becausethethoughtofyouwithsomeoneelsemakesmesick.”
“Viola,it’snotwhatyou’rethinking.”
Iexhale,staringintentlyathim.“So,girlsjustmagicallyendupnakedinthebackseatofyour

car?”

“Well,Irecallyouinthebackseatofmycarnotsolongago...”Hesmirks,andIhatethatthe

memorysendsshiversdownmyspine.“Butwhydon’tyouaskmewhatyoureallywanttoknow.”

Heatrushesthroughme,andI’mtooscaredtoaskiftheyhadsex.Thetruthis,Iwanttoknow

everything,everydetail.ButI’mafraiditwillbreakmyheartintoamillionlittlepieces,andI’mnot
sureifIcanhandlethatagain.

Ishrug,notsurewheretoevenstart.IlikethissideofTravis—sweetandvulnerable,eventhough

Iknowitwon’tlastlong.“Idon’tthinkIcanhandleknowingrightnow.”

“YouwanttoknowforthesamereasonIwantedtopunchAxel’sfacein.”
“Andrew,”Icorrect.
Herollshiseyes.“So,justsaywhateveritisyou’resobusyoverthinkingabout.”
Islidefartherontothebed,leaningmybackagainstthewallandcrossingmylegs.“Whichpart?

Whyyouwereinsuchashittymoodwhenyougothomefromwork?Whydidyouevenleavethe
house?Whywouldn'tyoutalktome?Howdidyouendupoutofthecity,withDrew’scrazyex-
girlfriend?Imean,Idon’tevenknowifIwanttoknowtheanswerstothequestionsswirlingaround
inmymind.”

“Andwhyshewasnakedinthebackseatofmycar?”Hearchesabrow,knowingdamnwellit’s

drivingmeinsane.

“Well,Icandothemathinmyhead,”Isayshyly,bowingmyheadbecauseIdon’tthinkI’m

strongenoughtohearit.

“Youreallythinkthat?”Ihearthepaininhisvoice,andIcringeatthewayhiswordscutthrough

me.

“Well,yourtrackhistoryisn’tverypromising.Likewhenyouaskedmyfriend,HeatherMcNeil,

outandpromisedheragoodtime,onlytoditchheratthemovietheaterwhenyouranintoBetsySt.
Clairandendedupmakingoutwithherintheparkinglot.”

“Iwasadumbkid,”hesays,“runningonhormones.”
Ichuckle,agreeing.“Well,I’mnotsosuremuchhaschanged.”Iknowmywordscatchhimoff

guard,buthereachesformyhandandignoresmycomments.Idon’tknowifthisisgoingtobethe
endofwhateverwehad,or...

“Youknowyou’regoingtohavetolearntotrustme,nowthatwe’retogether.”
Hiswordsstopmythoughts,andI’mimmediatelysilenced.
Ilookupandseeasmilespreadacrosshisface,hisfingersgrippingminetighter.
“Oh?”Mybrowsrise.“We’retogethernow?”
“Well,yeah.Doyouseeanyothergirlswalkingaroundhere?”
Iburstoutineasylaughter.“Giveitafewdays.I’msurethey’llbehereinnotime.”
“GuessIdeservedthat.”Hegrins,rubbingthepadofhisthumbovermyhand.“Youknowyoucan

trustme,Viola.”Hisvoicesoundssincere.“Imaybealotofthings,butI’veneverliedtoyou.”

He’sright.TravisKingmaybealotofthings,buthe’snotaliar.He’salwaysbeenhonestand

straightforwardabouteverything.Evenwhenhishonestwordsweren’twhatIwantedtohear.

“So,Miabeingnakedinyourbackseat?”Icringeatsayingthewordsaloudagain.“Nothing

happenedbetweenyoutwo?”

“Viola?”Heplaceshisfingerundermychinandlockshiseyesonmine.“Doyoutrustme?”
He’snotexactlyansweringthequestion,butdeepinside,Idotrusthim.RememberingwhatDrew

saidbackatthehospital,Traviswouldneverbetrayhim.

Inod.
“Good,becauseI’mnotsharingyouwithanyoneelse.”
“Youcan’tjustbeacavemanandclaimme,”Iteaseashisthumblingersovermybottomlip.
“Sure,Ican.You’remine.”
Goosebumps.

Hiswordssendshiversdownmyspineathowgenuinehiswordssound.It’severythingI’veever

wantedtohearhimsay.

ButIwon’tgiveinthateasy.Atleastnotrightaway.
“Comecloser,”hesays.
“Youaren’tthebossofme,TravisKing.”
Hesmirks,knowingdamnwellI’mfullofshit.“Ithinkwebothknowthat’snottrue.I’vehadyou

countinguntilyoulostyourvoice.”Hislipsturnup,obviouslyveryimpressedwithhimself.

“Soarrogant.”Isigh.“Somethingsneverchange.”Ishakemyhead,tryingtoholdbackasmile.
“Andsomethingsdo,”hesays,cuppingmyface.“Nomoregames.”Herubsthepadofhisthumb

overmycheek,andInearlymeltintohim.Ifheweren'tinjured,I’dbereadytostripallhisclothes
off.

Inodinagreement.“Nomoregames.”
Iknowwe’lleventuallyneedtohaveaconversationaboutthatnightandtalkaboutwhatall

happened,butIalsoknowItrusthim.Evenafterallthehurt,anger,andheartache,TravisKingwill
alwaysbetheboyIlovedasachild.

Hepullsmetowardhim,pressinghislipstomine.It’snothinglikeourpreviouskisses.Thisone

isslow,soft,andpassionate.Idon’tpushformorebecauseIknowhe’susingeveryounceofenergy
tokissme.

Ipullback,eventhoughIdon’twantto.SittingnexttoTravis,Imakesuretoavoidtouchingor

puttingpressureonhim.

“SinceI’llbedroppingbybetweenclasses,thereneedtobesomerules.”
Hegrinsslightly.“There’stheVI’musedto.”
IrollmyeyesattheVcomment.“Wehavetoactlikenothing’schangedinfrontofDrew.And

whileyou’rehurt,nosexorsexualinnuendosormakingsexualcomments.”

Hegroans.“You'rejustlikethenursesatthehospital.Nofun.”
“Youmeantheydidn’tturntomushattheTravisKingcharm?”
“Nope.Wouldn’tevenletmegettosecondbase.”
Irollmyeyesagainandfighttheurgetocurseandkisshim.“Howrudeofthem.”
“ButatleastI’mbackhomewithmyownprivatenurse.”Hewinks.“Ifthere’sgoingtobethisno

sexrule,canyouatleastprovideotheraccommodationsforyourpatient?”

Ithrowmyheadbackandlaughathisridiculousness.“I’mstartingtowonderiftheymissed

somethingwhentheydidyourbrainscan.”

Hepullsmecloseragain,butwincesbeforeourlipsmeet.
“Youneedtorest.”Ipressahandsoftlyagainsthischest.“Takesomemedsandgetsomesleep.

I’llbeherewhenyouwakeup.”Ismile,andhesmiles,too.

Iwatchashegrabshismedicinebottleoffhisnightstandandtakesoutacoupleofpills.He

swallowsthemdownwithsomewaterandsettlesagainstthepillows,adjustinghisicepackbefore
finallysettlingin.Oncehiseyesflutterclosed,Icarefullyscootoffthebedandleandowntokisshis
cheek.JustasI’mwalkingtowardthedoor,hespeaksup,stoppingmeinmytracks.“Iloveyou,Viola
Fisher.”

CHAPTERFOUR

TRAVIS

Wakinguphourslater,hungerandsorenessbothfightformyattention.Myphonesaysit’sthree

intheafternoon.MybodysaysIneedoutofthisbed.Ineedtoeat,butmoreimportantlyIneedViola.

Ihateaskingforhelp,butI’minnopositiontoallowmypridetorule.Butfirst,I’lltry.After

managingtorollmyselfoutofbed,Istandwiththehelpofafewchoicewords.Ishoweredatthe
hospitalbeforeIwasdischargedanditwasthemosthumiliatingthingI’veexperiencedinmylife.
NancyandIhadformedadecentrelationshipatnight,butoncehershiftended,Helentookover;let’s
justsayshewasmuchlesspatientwithme.Shewasanursesentstraightfromthepitsofhell.

OnceI’moutofmyroom,IwalkdownthehalltowhereIheartheTVandViola’ssweetlaughter.

Yes,thisishome.IinstantlysmilewhenIhearher.

Ipauseforasecondandtakeadeepbreath,watchingher,curledupinthecornerofthecouch

withablankettossedoverherlegs.She’sfocusedonsomechickflick,andI’mfocusedonher.Iclear
mythroatafteramoment,andsheturnsandlooksatme,concernonherface.

“Youfeelingokay?”Shemovesoverslightly,givingmeroomthatIwishshedidn’tfeelshe

needstogiveme.Iwantherascloseaspossible.

Isitonthecouchnexttoher,andshewatchesme.
“Neverfeltbetter.”
Shesmiles.
“YoumindifIwatchthiswithyou?”InodtowardtheTV.
Sheflashesmealook.“YouwanttowatchBridgetJones’Diarywithme?”
Iswallowmywordsofdisdainandplasteronacockygrin.“Yeah,ofcourse.BJ’smyhomegirl.”
Sheburstsoutlaughing,herheadfallingbackasasweetroarreleasesfromherthroat.“Oh,my

God,”shesaysbetweentears.“Ishouldberecordingthis.”

“Recordingwhat?”Ifurrowmybrows.
“You.”Shewipesunderhereyes.“You’reashighastheEmpireStateBuilding.”
Isnort.“Getyourmindoutofthegutter,princess.BJisBridgetJones,not—”
“Okay!”sheinterruptsbeforeIcancontinue,afaintblushcoveringhercheeks.
Irollmyeyesatherexpense,gettinganotherchuckleoutofher.
Itrytofocus,butIcan’t.“Areyougoingtocatchmeuponwhateverthehellishappening?”
“IthoughtBJwasyourhomegirl?”shethrowsback,thecornerofherlipsturningupasshe

continueswatchingthemovie.ThisistheViolaIadore—simple,funny,cute.God.IwishIweren’tin
pain.IwishThursdaynightwould’veneverhappenedandIcouldpullherintomylap.

“Sheis;Imean,sheremindsmeofacornier,klutzieryou.”
“Rude!”SheplayfullysmacksmeonthearmbeforerealizationhitsthatI’malreadybruised.

“Shit!I’msorry!”Shecloseshereyesforamoment.“Ididn’tmeantohityou.”

“Justanaturaltwitch?”Ismirk,notwantinghertofeeltoobad.
Shecocksherhead.
“Lightenup,princess.”
“Areyouhungry?”sheaskssincerely,changingthesubject.
“Yes.”

“Whatareyouhungryfor?”
Myeyeswidenasmylipstiltupinacockypout.“Well...”
“Food,”sheclarifies.“Imeant,whatkindoffoodareyouhungryfor?”
“WhydoyouassumeIwasgoingtosaysomethingelse?”
Sherollshereyes,shiftingherbodytowardme.“BecauseIknowyou.Youhaveadirtymind.”
“Andyou’regoingtodenyabrokenmanhisdyingwish?”Iarchabrow.
“Youaren’tdying,butyouaredefinitelybeingoverlydramatic.”Myeyesfollowherasshestands

upandwalkstowardthekitchen.“Mymotheralwaystoldmeamanisthebiggestbabywhenhurtor
sick.Guessshewasright.”

Ilaugh,knowinghermotherwellenoughtoknowshewouldsaysomethinglikethat.
“Areyoucallingmebaby?”Ishout,hopingtogetareactionoutofher.
“Ababy,yes.”Shepeeksherheadaroundthewallwithaliftedeyebrow.
“Fine,I’llmakemyownfood.”Ishiftoffthecouch,tryingtopropmyselfup.
Shewalksbackinandpointsherfingeratme.“Sitbackdown.Drewwillhavemyheadifhe

thinksI’mnothelping.”

“Stillafraidofyourbigbrother,huh?”Iaskinamusement.
Shecrossesherarms.“No.ButIdon’twanttohearaboutitfromeitherofyou.”
“Whateveryousay,princess.”Isitbackonthecouchasshewalkstowardthekitchen.
“Don’tmakemepoisonyoursandwich,King,”sheshoutsloudenoughtobeheard,butIcanhear

thesmileinhertone.

“I’veassumedyou’vebeendoingthatallalong,V.”

Shesauntersinwithtwosandwichesandabagofchips,andI’mgratefulforsomethingotherthan
Jell-Oandjuice.

“Enjoy,”shesays,pickinguphersandwichandtakingabitewithasideofanevilgrin.
Afteraverytastyunpoisonedsandwichandfinishingupasecondchickflick,Violafallsasleep

againstthearmofthecouch.Idesperatelywanttolienexttoherandwrapmyarmsaroundher,butI
knowthat’dbeplayingwithfire.Drew’sbeengoneforhours,andIcanonlyimaginethatthemoment
I’mtooclosetoViola,he’dcomeprancingbackin.

Instead,Igrabtheblanketthat’sfallenfromherbodyandcoverherbackup.Shelooksabsolutely

breathtaking.Herchestrisesandfallsevenly,andherlipsarelinedinasoftpout.Imissthetasteof
herlips,andIdesperatelywanttokissthemagain.

ButIcan’t.
IfI’mgoingtoprovemyselftoher,thatshecantrustmeandthatI’mallin,Ineedtochangethe

game.

AfterturningofftheTV,Islowlymakemywaybacktomyroomandsleepoffanotherroundof

painmeds.TheymakemesodamndrowsythatIcanbarelyseestraight.AsIsinkintothesheetsand
mybodygoesnumb,mythoughtsdrifttoViolaandthegirlwhosatupontherooftopwithmewhen
wewerejustkids.

“What’syourfavoritemovie?”sheaskedme,twirlingherdarkhairaroundherfingers.
“Hmm...”Ithoughtaboutitforamoment.“LordoftheRings,probably.I’veseenitoveradozen

timesnow.”

Sherolledhereyesandsighed.“That’sboring.”
“Wellthentellmeyours,ifyouthinkit’ssomuchbetterthanmine.”
Shesmiledandlookedupattheskythatwasfadingtoblack.“Nolaughing,”shewarned,andI

flashedheradevioussmile.

“Nopromises.”
Sheglaredbackatme.“ThenI’mnottellingyou.”
“C’mon,I’mjustkidding.Whatisit?”
Sheshookherheadnoandpretendedtozipupherlips.
IreachedoverandpokedherinthesidewhereIknewshewasticklish.
“Stopit!”shesquealed,herfeetkickingtowardme.“Fine!I’lltellyou!”
Ireleasedher,butthetouchofherwarmskinonminedoesn’tgounnoticed.
“Allright,spillit.”
“13Goingon30,”shesaidwithashylookinhereyes.I’dseenherwatchingthatseveraltimes

sinceitcameout,soI’mnotsurprised,butthatdidn’tstopmefromteasingheraboutit.

“That’sbecauseyouhaveahugecrushonMarkRuffalo!”
“Isnot!”Shepushedbothhandsagainstme,andIlaughed.
Isnorted.“Typicalchickflick.”
“Ohreally,LordoftheRings?That’satypicalguyflick.”
“Mendon’thaveguyflicks,”Icorrected.“Wehaveactionmovies.”
Sherolledhereyesagain.“Boring.”
“Soarechickflicks,”Icountered.
“So,you’dneverwatchachickflickthen?”
“Noway.I’dlosemymancard.”
TheonlyreasonIknewtheterm‘mancard’wasbecauseDrewhadsaiditseveraltimestome.He

mockedmeforhangingoutwithViola,butItriedtoignoreit.

Thesoundofthefrontdoorclosingshakesthehouseandwakesme.Ithinkaboutthememoryand

howcloseViolaandIoncewere.Wehadformedafriendshipthatwasbondedandfulloftrust.Iwant
tofeelthatagain.Mostimportantly,Iwanthertofeelthatagain.

“Travis,areyouawake?”Drew’svoicecomesfromthehallwayasheknocksquietlyonmydoor.
“Yeah,comeonin.”Ipushmyselfupandleanagainsttheheadboard.“What’swithallthe

commotion?”Iaskoncehestepsinside.

“Oh,sorry.Iwenttothegymforacoupleofhoursafterwork,andthenIdidsomegrocery

shoppingandboughtyouafewthings.”

Iraisemybrows.“Really?Gettingalldomesticforme?”
“Youwish,”hespitsback.“ButIfiguredyou’dgetsickofViola’sPB&Jspecialtysandwiches

prettysoon,soIgrabbedyousomecansofsoup,ramennoodles,andchips.”

“Bonappétit,”Itease.
“I’llbringdinnerhomeafterworktomorrow,butyouguysareonyourownforbreakfastand

lunch.”

“Thanks,man.Appreciateit.”
“HopefullyVioladoesn’tstrangleyoubeforetheweek’sover.”
Ishrug,hopinghedoesn’tseerightthroughme.“Ithinkmycharmisstartingtowinherover.”
Helaughs.“Right.That’llbetheday.”

VIOLA

Thumpingfromthekitchenstartlesmeawake,makingmenearlyfalloffthecouchbeforeI

realizewhereIam.Ablanketisoverme,andIvaguelyrememberTraviscoveringmeupbeforeIfell
deeper.

“Jesus,Drew!”Iscold,lookingovermyshouldertowheretheracketiscomingfrom.

Hepopshisheadaroundthekitchenwallandfrowns.“Sorry,Ididn’trealizeyouwerecatnapping

onthecouchthatyouhatesleepingon.”

“Maybeyoutwoshouldthinkaboutgettinganupgrade.You’vehadthiscouchsinceyouwere

freshmen.”Istandandfoldtheblanketandthrowitovertheback.“Whatthehellareyoudoing
anyway?”

“Unpackinggroceries.IfigureditwastheleastIcoulddoformakingyouhelpthisweek.”
“It’sfine.He’llprobablysleepmostofthetimeanyway.”Iwalktowardthekitchenandseebags

coveringthecounter.“Didyoubuyoutthewholestore,orwhat?”

“Well,Iwasn’tsurewhatyouwantedorwhatyoucouldmakewithoutburningit,soIgotalittle

ofeverything.”

Iarchabrowandpout.“Funny.”
Heshrugs,unapologetically.“Iknow.”
Ihelpunpackeverythingandputitaway,althoughIhavenoideawherehewantsallthisstuff,soI

justrandomlyputtheminthepantry.

“I’mgoingtocheckonTravis,”hesaysaswefinishunpacking.“Ihavethreemorebagsinthe

car...ifyoudon’tmindgrabbingthem?”Heflashesawidegrinmydirection,knowingIcan’tsayno.

Igroan.“Fine.Youbetterhaveboughticecream.”
HewinksbeforewalkingawayandheadingdownthehalltoTravis’room.Igrabtherestofthe

bagsandunloadthemallbeforeIhearDrewwaltzbackin.“Thatwasfast.”

“WellIwasn’tsurewhereeverythingwent,soIjuststuffedthemallintothesamecupboard.”I

flashhimanevilsmileasItosstheemptybagsintherecyclingbin.“ButIdidmanagetoputthecold
itemsinthefridge.”

“WhydoyouenjoyingmessingwithmyOCD?”Icanalmostseethetwitchinhiseyesandlaugh.
“Becauseit’sjusttoodamneasy.”
Hegroansandbeginsopeningthedoorstothecupboardsandpantry.“Jesus,Vi.”
“That’swhatyouget.”
“Forwhat?”heaskswithgenuineconfusion.
“Formakingmedropbybetweenclassesandcuttingintomystudytime,”Ithrowbackinhisface

eventhoughIdon’tminditthatmuch.

“Well,accordingtoTravis,you’recomingaroundtohischarm.”
Myheartbeginstoraceinpanic.“What?”Igasp,turningtoreadhisexpression.“What’sthat

mean?”

“Relax,”hesays,chucklingatmyexpense.“You’resojumpytoday.”
“Amnot!”Iargue,althoughit’sachildishmove.
“Man,IhopeTravislivestoseethisweekend.”Hecracksagrin.“Should’vewarnedhimhe’dbe

roomingwithAuntFlo,too.”

“Oh,myGod!”Isqueal,throwingthefirstthingIcanreachoffthecounter.
Abanana.
“You’resuchanasssometimes!”Thewordscomeoutinbetweenlaughter,soI’mnottoo

convincing.“IamnotPMS-ing!”

“Could’vefooledme,”heteases,throwingthebananabackatme.
“IsthissomekindofweirdfamilytraditionI’munawareof?”Travis’questioncomesfrom

behindme,andtheclosenessofhisbodytominesendsathrilldownmyspine.

Drewchucklesandshiftsaroundme.“Needanything?”
“Nah,man.I’mfine.”
Travisglancestome,givingmealookthatmakesmewanttoaskwhathe’sthinking,butwith

Drewaroundus,IknowIhavetoactasIhadpre-hatefuck.

“Wouldyoulikemetoreserveyourdailyone-nightstandbeforeorafteryourdinner?”The

wordsshootoutofmymouthbeforeIcanstopthem,andtheslygrinthatspreadsacrossTravis’face
isn’tmissed.Iswallowdownmywords.Idon’twanttosaycrassthings,butI’vebeenondefense
modearoundTravisforsolongthatitcomesoutwhetherImeanittoornot.

Hesinkshisteethintohisbottomlipbeforereleasingitandreplacinghisexpressionwithacocky

grin.“Thatdepends.Areyouofferingtobemyappetizerormydessert?”Heleansagainstthewall
withhisarmscrossed,bothbrowsraised.It’seasyforhimtothrowwordsbackatme—lotsof
practice.

Myjawdropsathisaudacity,especiallyinfrontofDrew.Iknowit’sagameIhavetoplay,butthat

doesn’tmeanI’mgoingtolethimmakeallthemoveswithoutafight.

“Well,youknowwhattheysay.Savethebestforlast.”
“ThenI’llchoosetoeatdessertfirst.”Hissmuglookburnsintome,andittakesallthewillpower

intheworldtowalkaway.

“Youtwoshouldn’tbeleftinthesameroomtogether,”Drewinterruptsourstaredown.“And

dude,”hesays,turningtoTravis,“youfractureyourribs,andyou’restillhittingonmysister?”

Heshrugswithasmirk.
“You’reluckyyou’realreadyhurt,orI’dbreaktherestofyourribs.”Iknowhe’sjoking,butthe

wayhesaysitsoundslikeagenuinethreat.Travismaybehisbestfriend,buthe’smadeitknownhe’d
neverapproveofTravismakingamoveonme.

“IbetIcouldtakeyou,brokenribsandall,”Travisteases,pushinghimwithhisgoodshoulder.
Drewflasheshimalookthatsaysotherwise.“Oh,please.”Hegoesbacktoreorganizingthe

cupboardsasTravisandIstandawkwardly.He’slookingintentlyatmelikehewantstosay
something,butthere’snothingelsetosay—especiallywithDrewaround.

“Well,IneedtomakesureIdidn’tforgetanythingaroundthehousebeforeIgo.I’vegotclass

brightandearly.”

IbeginwalkingawaybeforeDrewspeaksupagain.“Teninthemorningisn’tearly.Jointhe

Academyifyouwanttounderstandearly.”

IscoffandglanceatTravis,desperatelyneedingtoputdistancebetweenusbeforethingslook

suspicious.

AsIwalkoutofthekitchen,Ihearfootstepsbehindme.BeforeImakeittoDrew’sroom,Travis

grabsmyelbowandturnsmearound.

“Whatareyoudoing?”Iwhisper,feelingthebeatofmyracingheartinmyneck,knowingthat

Drewisinthenextroomandcouldroundthecorneratanysecond.

“Youmakemewanttodoreallybadthingstoyou.”
“Travis!”Ihissbetweengrittedteeth.“Wecan’tdothis.WehavetokeepuptheactaroundDrew

untilhe’sintheloop.Hereallywillbreakyourotherribsifhewalksinonsomething.”Ilookintohis
eyes,andthenpastthem,tomakesurewe’restillintheclear.Mynervesareonedge,andmy
emotionsaregoinghaywire.Ashismouthdipsinclosetomyear,aboltofelectricityforcesitsway
throughmyveins.Travisismydrug,andwhenI’mgettingmyfix,it’shardtoconcentrateon
anythingatall,butIknowIhaveto.

“YouknowIdon’tmeananyofthosebitchythingsIsay,right?”
Hegivesmeasidegrin.“Iknowit’sjustanact.Italwayshasbeen.”
Hiswordsbringmebacktoreality.
“Princess...Iwanttobetheonetotellhim.Iowehimthat.”
Iswallowhardandnodinagreement.“Whatareyougoingtosayexactly?”
“I’mgoingtosay,‘Oh,heyDrew.YoursisterandIhavebeenhavingdirtyrawsexforthepast

week,andwewanttokeepdoingit.’”

CHAPTERFIVE

TRAVIS

Lockingeyeswithher,Ifindthestrengthtowrapanarmaroundherwaistandpullhertomy

chest.It’sdangerous,andIknowwehavetokeepoursecretfornow,butIhavetotouchher.Her
breathhitchesasshefeelsthewarmthofourbodies,andit’sthefirsttimeI’vehadherthisclosesince
beforetheaccident.IfIdidn’tfeellikeI’djustgottenhitbyatruck,Iwouldn’tbesogentle.

ShelowershereyessoIcan’tlookintothem,andIsqueezeherhiptograbherattention.
“Viola,I’mgoingtotellhimthetruth,”Iwhisper,andshelooksupatme.
Iknowtheriskofthegamewe’replaying.Iknowwhatwehavetolose,butthere’ssomuchmore

towin.ViolaFisherhasalwaysbeenmine,andfinallybeingtogetheristheendgame.

“I’mgoingtotellhimIcan’tlivewithoutyou,andI’dlikehisblessing,”Iwhisper,brushingmy

thumbacrosshercheek.Mytouchforceshereyestomine,andIdon’tlethergo.I’llneverlethergo
again.Fuckthat.

“Youmeanthat?”
“Yes.”Idon’tmissabeatwithmyresponse.
Shetakesadeepbreathandrestsherheadagainstmychestbeforebreakingtheelectriccurrentof

ourbodiesbeingsoclose.Asmilefillsherface,andit’severythingIneedtoknow.Iwanttokissthe
fuckoutofher,butIknowit’stoorisky.

Shebitesherlowerlipandreleasesitbeforespeaking.“Justknow,ifyoubreakmyheartagain,

TravisKing,I’llbreakyourballs.”

“That’smyfirecracker,”Ismirk.Thoughmyfaceisbruisedandbroken,itstillcausesherbodyto

react.Ipressmylipsagainstthesoftnessofherneck,andshesighs.

Knowingit’lldrivehermad,Iplaceasoftkissonhercheekandreleaseher.Steppingaway,I

walktowardmyroom,feelinghereyesburnholesinthebackofmyhead.We’vebeenstandinginthe
hallwayforwaytoolong.Viola’sright,though;Drewcan’tfindoutbywalkinginonus.Ihaveto
findtherighttimetotellhim.

AsIwalktomyroom,Ifocusontakingsmall,calculatedsteps.BeforeIcanmakeittomybed,

Violaenters,andshe’sallworkedup.Slowly,Imanagetoclimbintobedandliedown.Withmy
handsbehindmyhead,Ismileather.She’ssopredictable.Ilovethatabouther.

Ilookathernipples.Hard.As.A.Rock.Asmyeyesroamdowntherestofher,shenoticesand

crossesherarmsandhuffs.

“It’sgoingtobereallyhardpretendingtohateyouwhenyoulookatmelikethat.”
Icantellshe’sfightingbackalaugh.
“So,doesthatmeanyoudon’thatemeanymore,princess?”
Shegroansloudlyandfinallycracksasmile.
Oncue,thedoorbarelyopensandDrewstepsin.“Whatthehell?”
Violaturnsandglaresathimwithherhandsonherhips.
“Whatdamagedidhemanagetodoalready?”
Withoutabeat,sheresponds,“Heknockedmytoothbrushoffthecounter,anditfellintothe

toilet.”

Myeyeswidenatthestoryshecreates.Iknowshewouldn’tlietoDrewnormally,butshe’sgood

atplayingthepart,sohedoesn’tgetsuspiciousbeforeIhavethechancetotellhim.

“Dude...”HelooksbehindViolaandstaresrightatme.
“Genuineaccident,”Isay,knowinghe’llthinkI’mfullofbullshit.
Violaturnstoscowlatme,knowingDrewiswatchingoureverymove.“Wasitagenuineaccident

whenyoudidn’ttellmeuntilafterIbrushedmyteeth?”

IhearDrewsnortbehindher,andIcan’thelpcrackingasmileatherperformance.
“Sorry,man.Can’thelpyououtofthisone,”hesaystome,andthenshutsthedoor,leavingusto

ripeachotherapart,oratleastthat’swhatitlookslike.Inanyothercircumstance,itmightseemodd
tohimthatViola’sinmyroom,butconsideringherreaction,itjustlookstypical.

“Greatacting.Youreallyshouldhavepursuedthattheaterdegree,”Isay.
Shescoffs.“I’mmuchbetteratreadingwordsthanrecitingthem.”
Pattingmyhandonthebed,Imotionforhertocomecloser.Hesitantly,Violacomescloserand

sitsontheedge.Hervoicedropstoawhisper,andsheleansintome.“Ihavetogo,butI'llbeback
tomorrowaftermymorningclass.”

Icuphercheekandbrushmylipsacrosshers.“Youbetter.”
Aftergrabbingmybottomlipinhermouthandtugging,sheforcesherselftostandbeforeI’m

abletotakeitanyfurther.

“So,tomorrow,”Ibegin,“I’mgoingtoneedsomehelptakingashower.”Iliftmyeyebrows

hopingshegetsthehint.

IknowshewantsustoworkasmuchasIdo,andI’mdeterminedtospendasmuchtimewithher

asIcan.Fucktherules.I’veneverbeenonetofollowthemanyway.

“I’msureDrewcanhelp,”sheteases.
Ismileathersweetlyandliftaneyebrow.“Don’tthinkso,princess.”
She’scontemplatingit,andIwishIcouldreadherthoughtsrightnow.Whenshebreaksasmall

smile,Iknowshe’sonboard.“Idon’treallyhaveachoice,doI?”

“So,it’sadate?”
Shefightsbacklaughter.“You’reridiculous.”
“Andyou’rebeautiful.”
Themoodshiftsandshestills.Violasearchesmyfaceasifshe’smemorizingitandIcan’tseem

totakemyeyesfromhers.

“Ifyou’retryingtowinmeover...”
“I’vebeentryingforyears,”Isaid,cuttingheroff.“Nothing’sgoingtostopmenow.”Iwink,

knowingit’lldrivehernuts.

“You’rerelentless,”shesaysbeforeflashingaquicksmile.Afteramoment,sheglancesoverat

theclock,thenbackatme.Iknowit’stimeforhertoleave,andI’mhalf-temptedtobeghertostay
andclimbinbedwithme.Butthat’sahorribleidea.

“Goodnight,Travis,”shesaysasshewalksacrosstheroom.
Beforeturningoffthelight,Violaturnsandsmilesatme.Thedoorclicksshut,andasIclosemy

eyes,theonlyimageIcanseeisher.

ThesunpeekingthroughtheblindswakesmeupsoonerthanI’dlike.Sleepinginthesameposition
allnightsucksass.Myneckisstiff,andmybackistight.Withallmystrength,Imovemylegstothe
floorandtrytostand.OnceI’mfinallyup,Islowlymakemywaytothebathroom.Ididn’trealize
somethingasnaturalaspissingcouldbesodifficultandpainful.

WhenIstepout,Ihearmusicechoingdownthehall,andasIwalktowardthekitchen,itgets

louder.Roundingthecorner,IseeVioladancingaroundthekitcheninat-shirtthatsaysDumbledore
ismyHomeboyontheback.IholdinlaughterasIwatchhershakeherhipsandbobherhead.She’s
holdingabowlandstirringitasshesingsalongwiththemusicblaringfromherphone.

Ileanagainstthewall,balancingmyselfwhilesilentlywatchingher.She’ssodistractedbywhat’s

she’sdoing,shedoesn’tevennoticeme.ThisistheViolaIlove.Theonethat’swildandfree,who
doesn’tgiveashitaboutanything.Herhairisupinamessybun,andshe’swearingherblack-rimmed
glasses.

Iclearmythroat,lettingherknowI’mbehindher.Shegoesfrigid,andthesmilefadesfromher

face.Icanseeherpulsebeatingrapidlyinherneck.

“Iwouldn’tmindwakinguptothiseveryday.”Iofferasmile,andsheblushes.
Sheswallowshard.We’realoneatlast,andshenoticesit,too.
“I’mbakingbananabread.ThoughtyoumightbehungryforsomethingbesidesJell-O.”Shepulls

inherbottomlipbeforereleasingitandflashingasmallsmile.

There’sashiftbetweenus,andIcantellshefeelsitaswell.Nolongerateachother ’sthroats,the

sexualtensionismoreintensethaneverbefore.

“Starving,”Ireply,gentlypushingoffthewallandwalkingtowardher.
Shelicksherlipsasshewatchesmyeverystep.Icupherfaceandpressasoftkissonherlips.Her

breathhitchesassheanticipatesmore,butIdon’tgivein.“How’dyousleep?”

Sheblinks.“Uh,fine,butDrew’sbediswaymorecomfortablethanmydormbed.You?”She

turnsandshutsoffthestovebeforeslidingthepanfromtheburner.

“Likeshit,butatleastthepainmedshelpedknockmeoutforafewhours.”
Sheturnsandoffersasinceresmile.“Well,goodthingtheonlyitemsonyouragendatodayareto

eatandrest.”

“Oh,don’tforgetmydailyrequiredlapdance.”
Shepointsafingeratme,tryingtoactstrong.“Breakingtherulesbeforebreakfast?”
“Rules?Whatrules?”Itease,knowingit’llgetherriledupandmaybeshe’llloosenupabit.
“YouknowexactlywhichrulesI’mtalkingabout.Theoneswediscussedwhenwehadourlittle

chatinyourbedyesterdaymorning.”

“Youwereinmybedyesterday?Wehadadiscussion?”
“Yes,afteryougothomefromthehospital.”Shelooksatme,waitingformetotellherI

remember.Shesighs.“Quitplaying.”Hershoulderstense,andshe’sstaringintentlyatme.

“Viola,I’msorry,butIdon’tremembertalkingtoyouyesterdaymorning.Iwasonatonof

painkillerswhenIleftthehospital.ThelastthingIrememberisDrewwakingmeupsometimeinthe
afternoonandsayinghewentgroceryshopping.”

Shestudiesme,waitingtoseeifI’llcrack.“Thenwhy’dyoukissmejustnow?”
Ishrug.“Habit,Iguess.Gorgeousgirlinmykitchenbakingseemslikeitrequiresamorning

kiss.”

“Areyoufreakingkiddingmerightnow?”Icanseeherlipstrembling,andIknowI’mgoing

straighttohellforthis.

“What?Why’dyoukissmeback?”Itrymydamnedesttokeepmystance,butthefirebrewingin

hereyesisjusttoofuckingmuchtokeepmystance.Sheseesmecracking,mylipsfightingthesmile
thatsoonappears.

Realizationsetsinandsoonthere’sawoodenspoonpointingrightinfrontofmyface.“I’m

goingtomurderyou!”shesaysbetweengrittedteeth.

Iburstoutinlaughter,takingastepbacktoavoidhermurderweapon.
“Youdon’tmeanthat.”Iflashheracharmingsmile,andsheglaresatmeinreturn.

Iwatchasshepoursthemixtureintoabreadpan,carefullyscrapingthebowlandlevelingthe

batteroutevenly.

I’mgratefulDrewboughtfoodfortheweek,butI’dmuchratherwakeuptoViolabakinginmy

kitchen.

Shegrabsacoffeecupfromthecounterandsipsit.
“YouwenttoStarbucksanddidn’tbringmeanything?”Iarchabrow,knowingdamnwellIdon’t

drinkherfancylattesandwhatever.

Sheglareswhileflashingacrookedsmile.“No.Drew’spayingformyservices.”
“AllittakesisStarbucks?”Ismirk.“Dulynoted.”
Sheplayfullyrollshereyesatme,andIlaugh.Theovenbeepsandsheplacesthebreadpan

inside,whichgivesmeaniceviewofherassasshebendsover.

Shenoticesandimmediatelyfrowns.“Nomischief,”shewarns.
“Ineveragreedtothat.”
“I’mheretohelpyouwithyourrecovery,andthat’sall,”shestatesinafirmtone,butIdon’t

believeawordofit.Iknowherwaytoowell.She’sonlysayingitaloudtoconvinceherself.

“You’retheworstliarI’veevermet.”
Shefurrowsherbrows,keepingasafedistancefromme,knowingdamnwellthatifIwereable,

I’dshowherexactlywhatImean.

“Howisitthatyoubruiseyourribsandgetallcutup,andyou’restillunabletobehaveyourself?”
Isteptowardher,tryingtoignorethepaininmyribcage,andwrapmyarmsaroundherwaist.

Shewatchesmyeverymove,herbreathhitchingthecloserIleanintoher.Mylipsbrushagainsthers,
tastingthesweetcoffeeflavoragainstmine.

IhearhergroanasIdeepenthekiss,butpullawaybeforegoinganyfurther.
“Nothingcouldcomebetweenmylipsandyourbody,princess.Bruisedribsornot,I’llsuffer

throughjusttobeclosetoyou.”

Shesmilesupatme,butit’ssoonreplacedwithafrown.“Ibetyouweretheworstpatientever.”
“Onlyaroundthehotnurses.”Iwink.
Shegroansagain.“Youaren’tgoingtomakethiseasyforme,areyou?”
Ipressmylipstohersagain.“Andwhatfunwouldthatbe?”

Afterthebananabreadisdone,shesetsitdowntocool.Itsmellsfuckingamazing,andI’mtemptedto
starteatingitrightoutofthepan.

“Youhavetowait,”shewarns.“Ittastesbestwhenit’sjusttherighttemperature.Warm,butnot

hot.”

“That’storture,”Iwhineaswesitonthecouchtogether,onlyasmallthrowpillowbetweenus.

“Cominginhere,smellingupmyhousewithbananabreadandcoffeeandyou,andIcan’thaveany
ofit.”Ipout,gettingalaughoutofher.

“Iguessit’stimeyoulearnoneoflife’shardlessons.”Shepuckersherlips.“TravisKingdoesn’t

alwayswin.”

Itossthepillowather;herlaughterbringsasmiletomyface.“Thekingalwayswins,princess.”
“I’mnotsosure...”Shepinchesherlipsandtapsafingeragainstherbottomlip.“Butmakingyou

workforitjustmightbewhatyouneedtoshrinkthatbigheadofyours.”

“NeverhadanissuewithworkingforwhatIwant.”Igrabherhandandkissthefingershewas

justtappingagainsthermouth.“ButIwashopingweweredoneplayinggamesnowthat...”Iletthe
wordsrestonmylipsinhopesshegetswhatI’mtryingtosay.

“Thatwhat?”

“Thatwecanbeinthesameroomtogetherwithouttheurgetokilloneanother.”
“Justbecauseyoukissedmedoesn’tmeantheurgewentaway.”Shespitsitoutsoquickly,without

abeat,makingmesmileatherwords.

“Well,Iguesssomethingsneverchange.”Ipullhercloser,forcinghertoberightnexttome.

We’rebothonthecouch,facingeachother,neithercaringwhat’sontheTVanymore.“Likemy
feelingsforyou,Viola.SinceIwastwelveyearsold.Ialwaysknewtherewassomethingbetweenus,
evenbeforeIwasn’toldenoughtounderstandwhatthosefeelingsmeant.”

“Yeah,Ihadfeelingsforyou,too.”Shepauseswithagrin.“Feelingsofhate.”
“Viola...”Ihissundermybreath,knowingdamnwellshe’smakingthismuchharderthanithasto

be.“Whyareyoubeingsodifficult?”

“Becauseit’sfuntoseeyousweatingforonce,”sheanswershonestly,flashingavictorioussmile.
“Well,missionaccomplished,smartass.Nowwouldyoudroptheactandjustlistentome?”
Sheexhalesandthensmiles,hereyessoftening.“Areyouaskingmetogosteady?”Hervoiceis

highpitchedlikeanoverlyexaggeratedcheerleaderonthoseridiculouschickflicksshewatched
whenshewasinhighschool.

Idropherhandandsigh.“Igiveup.”
Shelicksherlips,holdinginasmirk.“DefeatedtheKing!Finally!”
“You’vebeenwaitingtwelveyearstosaythat,haven’tyou?”
“Prettymuch.”Sheflashesasmuggrin.“Infact,everythinginmylifehasleduptothisvery

moment.”

“Fuck,you’reasassythingtoday.WhathappenedtothesweetlittlegirlIfirstmet?”
“Youcorruptedher,”shesaysmatter-of-factly.
“Can’tsayI’msorryaboutthat.”
Shelooksatmeasifshe’sindeepthought,andItrytoreadher.IknowIhavealotofprovingto

do,butI’lldowhateverittakestogainhertrustagain.

“Idon’twantanyoneelse,Viola,”Isaygenuinely,knowingsheneedstohearit.“Inevertrulydid.

It’salwaysbeenyou.”

“Iwanttotrustyou,”shesayssoftly.“ButI’mscared.”
“Whatareyouscaredof?”Iask,hopingIcaneasesomeofherfears.
“I’mscaredofgettinghurtagain.ScaredDrewwillthrowyouacrosstheroom.ScaredI’llnever

fullybeabletotrustyou.”

“Viola,listentome.I’lldowhateverittakestotakethosefearsaway.Don’tworryaboutDrew.I’ll

talktohimanddowhateverittakestogainhistrust,too.Butdon’tbescaredofgettinghurt.Ican’t
promisetherewon’tbetimesIfuckup,butIwouldneverintentionallyhurtyou.”Itakeherheadin
mineagain.“ButIwillpromiseyouonething.Iwon’tbelikethoseguysyoureadaboutinyour
romancenovels.Iwon’tfeatherthebedwithredrosepetals,makelovetoyouunderthestars,or
writeanoriginalsongandsingittoyouontopofButternutHill.”

Shechuckles,tiltingherheadtolookdeeperintomyeyes.
“BecauseI’mnotlikethoseguysinyourromancenovels.I’mtheguythat’llfuckyouagainstthe

wall,wrapmyhandaroundyourthroat,andpullyourhairasyouscreamoutmyname.I’mtheguy
that’llhaveyouwakinguponabaremattressbecausewefuckedthesheetsoffitinthemiddleofthe
night.I’mtheguythatcan’tsingatunetosavemysoul,butI’dtellyoueverysingledayofmylife
howmuchyoumeantome.So,beforeyoumakeyourdecision,youneedtoknoweverythingit
entails.”

Iwatchasherthroatmoves,hertonguerunningalongherlipsasshewetsthem.Sheblinksand

looksbackupatme;hereyesareglassy.

“Idon’twantyoutobethoseguysinmyromancenovels,”shestates.“They’reusuallyflawless

withperfectabsandhairandtheyalwayssaytherightthings,andthey’realwayshungevenwhen
they’resoft...”

Iputahandup,makingherstopsoIcanmakesureI’mhearinghercorrectly.“Waitaminute...”
Sheignoresmeandcontinues.“Idon’twantperfect,Travis.Idon’texpectarelationshipwhere

everythingisalwayssmoothandhappy.Iwantustocontinuechallengingoneanother,testingthe
limits,andgrowingasone.I’dgetboredbeingwithaperfectguy.I’dfeelinadequate,andI’drather
haveanimperfectrelationshipthanaperfectone.”

Herwordsaremusictomyears.Myheartbeatsharderinmychest.“So,areyousayingyou’reall

in?”Iask,desperatetohearhersaythewords.

Shesucksinherlipsandnods.“Yes.Iam.”
Hereyesareglassingoveragain.Ipressmythumboverhercheek,catchingatearthatdrops

down.“Ihopethosearetearsofhappiness,”Ismirk,cuppingherface.

“Tearsofregret,”shespitsout.
“Dammit,Viola,”Ihiss,tryingtoholdinannoyedlaughter.“Areyoualwaysgoingtobethis

difficulttoseduce?”

“Youhavealottolearn,King.”Shewinks.
“Trustme.Iknow,princess.”Ibringourmouthstogetherandpushherlipsapartwithmytongue.

“JustknowthatifIweren'tonbedrest,I’dhavebothyourlegsaboveyourheadrightnow.”

“Clearlyitwasyourcharmthatwonmeover.”
“Ithoughtitwasmyabilitytomakeyoucounttotenwithyourheadburiedinthepillow?”
Sheplayfullyslapsmyarmandscowls.“IfIdidn’tknowanybetter,I’dsayI’djustagreedtobe

withahornyfifteen-year-oldboy.”

“Twenty-four-year-oldman,”Iclarifywithashrug.“Notmuchhasreallychanged.”
ShelaughsandbeforeIcanstopher,sheleansin,bringsbothhandsaroundmyneckandpullsme

inforadeep,greedy-as-fuckkiss.Shehasmybodyallkindsoffiredup.Myribsmaybebroken,but
mycocksureisn’t.

“Goddammit,Viola,”Igrowl,needinghertostop.Ipressmyforeheadagainsthers,ourpants

mixingintheairaswetrytocatchourbreaths.“IthinkIneedtogotakethatshowernow.”Afucking
coldone.

“Areyousurethat’sagoodidea?”
“Well,itwassuggestedIeithersitintheshowerorhavesomeonenearbytohelpincaseIslipor

getdrowsyfromthemedsandsincewedon’texactlyhaveashowerchair,you’llhavetobemyon-
dutynurse.”

“ShouldIputtheuniformonforyouandeverything?Giveyouthefullnurseexperience?”The

cornerofherlipstiltsup.

Ismile.Ifuckinglovehersmartmouth.

VIOLA

FollowingTravistothebathroom,I’malreadydroolingatthethoughtofseeinghimnakedagain.

Istareathim,admiringthewayhisjeanshughisass.Heglancesoverhisshoulderandcatchesme.

“Eyesuphere,nurse.”
IblinkmyeyesbackuptohisandblushasifI’dbeencaughtgettingintotrouble.Acockygrin

formsoverhisface,andIknowhe’senjoyingeverysecondofmyogling.

Onceinsidethebathroom,Ireachintotheshowerandturnonthewater.Traviswatchesmeashe

beginsunbuttoninghisjeans.Iwatchashepushesthemdown,buttheygetstuckathisknees.Istepin
andpullthemdowntherestofthewaysohecankickthemoff.Islidemyhandoverhiswaistand
griptheendofhisshirt.Iknowhe’sinmorepainthanhe’slettingon,soIslowlylifthisshirtsohe
canpullhisarmsoutonebyone.HewincesslightlyandIcringeatthewayraisinghisarmsoverhis
headcausespain.

“Areyouokay?”Iask,fearingthathe’snotgoingtobeabletoshoweralone.
“Ahotnurseundressingme?I’mmorethanfine.”Hegrins,andIrollmyeyesathisinabilityto

answeraseriousquestion.

“Don’tgetanyideas,”Iscold.“Thisisstrictlyformedicalpurposesonly.”
“We’llseeaboutthat.”Henodshisheaddowntohisboxers,whichistheonlyclothinglefton

him.

Inod,knowingdamnwellhecantakehisboxershortsoff.Butifthat’showhewantstoplayit,

I’mallin.

Loopingmyfingersunderneaththewaistband,Islowlypullthemdownhisbody.Ikneel,butI

keepmyeyeslockedonhis.AssoonasIhavethemdownfarenough,hiscockfreesandissalutingto
theceiling.Iswallow,fightingtheurgetotastehim,butIknowIcan’tstartanythingrightnow—as
muchasIdesperatelywantto.

Makingeyecontactwithhim,Iwatchasasmugexpressionformsoverhisface,andhestands

withbothhandsonhiships.

“Areyousureyou’reupforthis,princess?”
Blinking,Iclearmythroatandflashaforcedsmile.Istandupandwatchashefinallykickshis

shortstotheside.“Youreallythinkyou’regoingtowinthisgame?”Ichallenge,knowingexactly
whathe’stryingtodo.

Iwillnotcave.Iwillnotcave.
“IknowIwill.”
“You’llneverlearn,willyou?”Ismirk.
Heshrugs.
I’mnotaboveneedingtoprovemyselftohimwhenIneedto.Ibringmyfingersdowntomy

jeansandunbuttonthem.HewatchesmeintentlyasIremovethem,andthenIbringmyhandstothe
bottomofmyshirtandpullitovermyhead.

“Whatthehellareyoudoing?”hefinallyasks.
“Gettingundressed.”Ireachbehindmybackandunclaspmybra.
Hewatchesasitslidesdownmyarmsandfallstothefloor.
“Why?”
“Well,Idon'tnormallyshowerwithmyclotheson...”Ilowermyhandstothefabricofmypanties

andbeginpullingthemdown.

“Wait,”hesayseagerly,stoppingme.“Don’tyouthinkyoubeingnakedisasafetyhazard?I

mean,you’resupposedtomakesureIdon’tstumbleorsomeshit.”

Ismile,ignoringhishandandpushmypantiestherestofthewaydown.“Goodthingyouhave

yourveryownpersonalnurse,willingtogothedistance.”

Steppingtowardme,heclosesthegapbetweenus.Ifeelhiscockthrobbingagainstmyskinand

mybodyshivers.Hecupsmyfaceandbringshismouthtomine.Slowly,hekissesmeandpartsmy
lipswithhistongue,givingmeatorturoustasteofexactlywhatIwant.

“Youforgetwhoyou’replayingwith,princess?”heasks,breakingthekiss.
Iswallow,keepingmyeyesclosedasItrytocomposemyselfandnotgiveintothetemptationmy

bodysodeeplywants.

“Viola,”hewhispers,hisbreathvibratingagainstmylips.“Viola,lookatme.”
Ihearthedesperationinhisvoice,theeagernessinhistone,andIfightobeyingwitheverypartof

mybody.“No,”Isay,exhaling.“Idon’ttrustmyselfwithyou.”

Ihearasoftchucklereleasefromhislips,anditbringsmecomfort.“Idon’tblameyou.”
Hiswordsmakemelaugh,andIshakemyheadinprotest.“Arroganceisn’taflatteringtrait,you

know.”

“Yourbodyseemstodisagree.”Hepinchesmynipplebetweenhisfingersandreleasesadeep,

satisfiedhum.“Infact,everypartofyoudisagrees.”

Icanfeelmyselfgettingwetastheacheintensifiesbetweenmylegs.It’sasifhehaspussyradar

orsomething.Heknowsexactlywhathe’sdoingtome.

“Mybodyneedsacoldshower,”Iadmit,needingtodiminishthetensionintheair.Ineedthe

shockofthecoldwateronmyskintowakemefromthisspellTravishascastonme.

“You’retheboss,nurse.”
Ipeelmyeyesbackopenandseetheamusedgrinonhisface.“SometimesIreallywanttosmack

you.”Iputmyhandundertheshowertotestthetemperatureofthewater.

“Youwouldn’tbethefirsttosaythat.”
“Notsurprising.”Irollmyeyeswithagrinandstepinsidetheshower.“Ready?”
“Readyifyouare,”hesays,takingastepin.“Justdon’tforgettherealreasonyou’reinhere,

princess,”hewarnswithfakeauthority.

“Yes,”Isay,closingtheshowercurtain.“Tomakesureyoudon’tslipandbreakthatbigheadof

yours.”

“Oh.”Heturnstofaceme,handingmeabarofsoap.“I'mnotsupposedtomovemyarmsbehind

myback,soitlookslikeyou’llhavetosoapmeup,too.”

“Andwhohelpedyouwhenyouwereinthehospital?”Iask,grabbingitfromhim.
“Nancy.Shehadgrabbyhands,sowatchyourself.Ihadtoremindhertokeephereyesupquite

often.Ithinksheenjoyedtheshow.”Helowershiseyestohisstill-hardcock.

Ishakemyheadandholdbackasmile.“You’reridiculous.”
Hechuckles.“Shewasalsooldenoughtobemygrandmother,andI’mprettysureshewasblind

inoneeye.”

Rollingmyeyes,Ilatherthesoapinmypalmsandwaitasitfoamsbetweenmyhands.Ibegin

rubbingcirclesoverhischestandmassagingthesoapintohischesthairandthencarefullyoverhis
ribsandstomach.He’swatchingmeintently,studyingmyeverymove.Acomfortablesilencehangs
betweenusasIcontinuelatheringandwashinghim.Myhandslidesaroundhiswaistanddowntohis
hips.I’mtemptedtowrapmyhandsaroundhiscockandtorturehimthesamewayhedoestome,but
thenIdecidenottouchinghimwouldbringhimmoreagony.

“Turnaround.”
Heobeys,andIrepeattheprocess.Irubmypalmsoverhisshoulders,neck,anddownhisback.

Althoughthewaterishot,IcanfeelgoosebumpsprickhisskinwhenItouchhim.Feelingbold,I
slidemyhandlowerandrubthesoapdownhisspine,allthewaydowntohisass.Ifeelhisbody
tightenanddecidetokeepgoing.

OnceI’vethoroughlycleaneddownthebackofhislegsandhisperfect,tightass,Imakemyway

backupandwashhisshouldersandarms.

“You’reverythorough,”hesaysinamusement,turningbackaroundtofaceme.
“Itakeprideinmywork,”Isay,weavingmyfingersthroughhisandmakingsureeveryfinger

getsclean.

Hewatchesmeforafewmoremomentsandthengrabsmyhandandwrapsitaroundhiscock.

“Youmissedaspot.”

Iswallow,takenoffguardbyhisboldness.“Well,Ifigureditwasanareayoucouldreach

yourself.”

“Doctor ’sorders,”hesayswithalazyshrug.“Ican’triskgettingdizzyandslippingtomydeath

withmydickinmyhand.”

Iresisttheurgetorollmyeyesagain.God,he’stoomuchsometimes.“Ibetthenurseshadaparty

thedayyouweredischarged.”

“Nah,theyenjoyedmyantics.Keptthemontheirtoes.”
“Ibet,”Isaydryly.Islatheredmoresoapbetweenmyhandsandwrappedmyfingersaroundhis

erectionthatneverseemstogodown,rubbingthesudsupanddownhislength.Withmyotherhand,I
massagehisballs,makingsuretobeasgentleasIcan.I’llgivehimthesatisfactionthathewonthis
round,butIwon’tfinishhimoff,asmuchasI’dloveto.

Assoonashisheadfallsbackandhisbodybeginstotighten,Ireleasemyhandsandrinsethem

underneaththewater.“Alldone,Mr.King,”Isayinaprofessionaltone.“CanIhelpyouwithanything
else?”

Histhroatmovesandhischestrisesandfallsquickly.“Yes,asamatteroffact.”Histoneissharp.

“Putyourhandsbackonmerightnow.”Helowershisfaceandlockseyeswithme.“You’regoingto
givemeblueballs.”

“Sorry,Mr.King,butthat’snotinthepaperwork.Anypleasuringwillhavetobedoneonyour

owntime.”Iflashawittysmile,andIcantellhe’sbrewinginside.

“Ishould’veknownyoursmartmouthwouldcomeouttoplay.”Thecornerofhislipstiltup,and

Iknowhe’suptosomething.Hegrabsthesoapandsmirksatme.“Myturn.”

Ifurrowmybrows,buthestayssilentashecirclesafingerintheair,motioningformetoturn

around.Afterafewmoments,Ifeelhishandsonmyshoulders,andit’sthemostamazingfeelingin
theworld.Hishandsaresobigandstrong,andeventhoughthey’recoveredinsoap,Iwanthishands
onme—everywhere.

Amoanreleasesfrommythroatashemakeshiswaydownmybackandass,thoroughlycovering

everyinchofme.Imisshisbodyonmine,touchingme,kissingme,pushingmyeverylimit.Iwant
everythingthismanhastooffer,andI’mnotsurehowmuchlongerIcanwait.

“Putyourhandsuponthewall,”hesaysovermyear,pressinghisbodyintomineandfeelinghis

erectionagainstthesmallofmyback.“Spreadyourlegsapart.”

Idoashesays,andamjustabouttoaskwhathe’sdoingwhenhewrapsbotharmsaroundmy

waist,holdingontome.Hislegsarespreadbehindmine,keepinghisbalance,andbeforeIcanmakea
commentabouthowI’msupposedtobetheonekeepinganeyeonhim,helowershishanddownmy
stomachandpalmsmypussy.EverythoughtvanishesandtheonlythingIneedinthisworldisforhis
handsnevertostoptouchingme.

Hisotherhandslidesupandcoversmybreast,massagingitinrhythmasherubshisthumbover

myclit.Asoftmoanreleases,andI’mnolongerincontrol.

“I’vemissedyou,”hesays,hiswordsvibratingovermyear.Myentirebodyshivers.Thewater

cascadesdownhisback,leavingmenakedandcold.“Youhavegoosebumps.”

Iswallowashisfingersslidealongmyslit,buildinguptheachethatIwasalreadyfighting.Ican’t

concentrateonanythingbeyondhishandonmybreastandhisfingersslidinginsideme,buildingup
thepressureIsodesperatelywanttorelease.

Myheadfallsbackagainsthischestandrestsonhisshoulder.“Ithinkthisisasafetyhazard,Mr.

King.Ican’tbeliableforanyinjuriesduetoyourwanderinghands.”

Histeethscrapealongthelobeofmyear,andhegroans.“Anyinjurieswouldbeworthit.”Ican

feelhislipsformingintoasmirk.“AndI’mnotreallyinthatmuchpainanymore.”

Althoughhiswordstakemeoffguard,Idon’tbelievehim.Afterhearingabouthisinjuries,I

lookedthemup,andknowforafactthatfracturedribscantakeuptosixweekstorecoveror
sometimesevenlonger.IknowTravistakesgoodcareofhisbodyandhealth,butIcan’timaginehe
wouldn’tstillbeinpainafterlessthantwoweeks.

“You’restillsupposedtoberestingandtakingiteasy,”Imanagetosayinbetweenhisthumb

rubbingcirclesonmeandhisfingersslidingdeeperinsideme.

“Trustme,princess,thisismetakingiteasy,”hegrowlsandflashbacksofourfirsttimesurface.

“You’dbeholdingontoyouranklesasIbentyouoverandgaveyouevery-fucking-thingyou’re
beggingforrightnow,sotrustmewhenIsaythatthisisaseasyasI’llbetakingit.”

God.Whydoeshedothistome?How,afteralltheseyears,canmybodycravehimthismuch?
Hespeedsuphisfingers,makingmeunabletorespondtohim,andevenifIcould,Idon’tknow

thatI’dbeabletosayanythingthatmadeanysenserightnow.

“Areyoureadytocount,princess?”Hekissesundermyearandsendsmoreshiversdownmy

spine.

Ibeginshakingmyhead,becauseIknowIcan’tcontrolmyselfaroundhim,especiallywithhis

bodypressedupagainstmineandhismagicfingersdrivingmewild.

“I’msofuckinghardforyou,Viola.God,it’sdrivingmeinsane.”
Ibeginpanting,losingthestrengthtodenyhim,soIgiveinandpracticallybeghimforit.“Ineed

more,”Isaybetweenheavybreaths.“Harder.”

Onehandslidesupmybodyandfistsmyhairashisotherhandpushestwofingersdeepinsideme

andfindsarhythmthatnearlyhasmykneesbuckling.Ifhekeepsthisup,we’llbothbeontheshower
floorwithbrokenribs.

“You’regoingtomakemefall,”Isay,pushingmyhipsharderintohispalm,desperatelyneeding

arelease.Myhandsontheshowerwallarebarelyholdingmeupanymore.

Hespeedsuphisfingers,givingmenoroomforprotests,ashisotherhandslidesbackdownmy

bodyandpressesintomystomach,fusingourbodiestogethereventighter.“I’vealreadyfallen,
princess,buttrustmewhenItellyouthatI’dneverletyougethurt.”

Myheartskipsabeat,ormaybeeventwobecausethewayhespeaksissorawandgenuinethatI

almostforgettobreathe.MymindflashesbacktotheotherdaywhenIcould’veswornIheardhim
say‘Iloveyou,’butIfiguredthatwastheeffectsofthepainmedshe’sbeentaking.Idon’tknowhow
toreacttohiswordsnowbecauseI’mnotevencertainhemeantitthatway,andnowI’msolostinmy
thoughtsthatwhenmybodytightens,andhisfingersfuckmeintocompleteoblivion,somuchsothat
Inearlypassout,Idon’tseeitcoming.

“Princess?”Hislipspressagainstmyear,andIknowexactlywhathe’safter.
“One,”Ifinallywhimper,catchingmybreathashisthumbcontinuesrubbingovermyclit.Once

I’mabletocontrolmybreathing,Islowlyturnaroundandfacehim.“Youbroketherules,”Isay,
wrappinganarmaroundhiswaist.

Hecupsmyfaceandleansdown,hislipslingeringovermine.“You’redamnrightIdid.”The

smileheflashesmakesmewanttomeltrightintohim.“There’snofuckingwayI’mwaitingsix
weeks.Hell,thedoctorshouldbeimpressedifImanagetowaitsixdays.”

Ichuckle,hatingthathiswordsmakemewanttosmilelikealove-struckteen.Butmyheartknows

exactlywhoTravisKingis,andithasn’tbeenabletolethimgosincethefirstdaywemet.

“AreyoureadytogetthehelloutofheresoIcanwarmyouupinmybed?”
“Ihaveafeelingthedoctor ’sordersdidn’tevenstandachance.”Igrin,slickingmyice-coldwet

hairback.

“Notonefuckingbit.”

CHAPTERSIX

TRAVIS

IplacemyhandagainstthewallandslowlystepoutoftheshowerbehindViola,watchingwater

dripdownherbackandperfecttightass.GoodthingIhaven’texperiencedanysideeffectsfromthe
meds,becauseI’mdefinitelydistractedenoughtoslipandbustmyface.Fortunately,sheturnsaround
andhandsmeatowel,breakingmeoutofmytrance.

Grabbingthetowel,IclosethespacebetweenusasViolalooksupatmewithhoodedeyes,andwe

bothknowthatwasonlythebeginning.Insteadofdryingmyselfoff,Itaketheopportunitytotouch
herandrubthesoftcottonoverherface,neck,shoulders,chest,andarms.

ImotionforhertoturnaroundsoIcandrytherestofher,andwhenshedoes,ItakemytimeasI

touchher.Ileanforward,kissingthenbitingeachshoulder,asmyfingertipstracedownhertorso,
memorizingherbody.Mychestrestsagainstherback,andsheleansagainstmeasIguidemyhand
overabreast,pinchingherhardnipplebeforemovinglower.Witheachraggedbreath,shemeltsinto
mytouch,andIdroptomykneesinfrontofher.Atfirst,shegivesmeaworriedlook,butIshakemy
headasIrestoneofherlegsovermyshoulder.Shedoesn’tfullyputherweightonmebutgivesme
whatIwant.Ihavetofuckingtasteher.

Violacloseshereyes,sinkingdeeperintomytongueasIflickherclit.Thewayshetastes,andthe

wayherskinsmellssosweetly,makesmycockthrob.Sheleansagainstthedoor,steadyingherself,
takinghernipplesbetweenherfingersandpinchingandpullingthem.It’salmosttoomuchformeto
watch.Idipmytongueinside,listeningtoherpantsasItonguefuckhertooblivion.Icantastethe
edgeofherorgasm,andasmuchasshewantsitrightthen,Islowdownmymovements,allowingher
toenjoyitevenmore.

“Please,”shebegs,butIdon’tlisten.
Asherlegshakesinanticipation,Iguideafingerin,thenanother,andafterafewmoreswirlson

herhardnub,Violamoansmynameagainandwhispers‘two’likeit’saprayer.

“You’resogoddamngreedy,”ItellherasIplaceafingerinmymouth,tastinghersweetness

again.

“You’vecreatedamonster,”shesaysplayfully.
“Mm.Lovethesoundofthat.Mylittlesexmonster.”
Afterwe’rebothdry,shelacesherfingerswithmineandleadstheway,takingfullcontrol.She

turnsandlooksatmeaswewalkdownthehallway,andit’samomentIneverwanttoforget.

Violaintheraw.
Violahappy.
Violawithme.
Fuckme,maybeallthatMickeyMouseshitisrealanddreamsreallydocometrue.
Oncethebedroomdoorshuts,Ican’tkeepmyhandsfromher.Igrabherfaceandbrushmylips

againsthers.Lightmoansescapefromherasourtonguestangletogether,fightingawarthatneither
ofuswillwin.Shestandsonhertiptoesandwrapsherarmsaroundmyneck,pullingdeeperintothe
kiss.

“You’resogoddamnbeautiful,”Iwhisperagainstherlips.Allinhibitionsrollfromher

shoulders,andwhenshelooksintomyeyes,Iknowthere’snootherwomanintheworldthatcan

makemefeelthisway.Fuck,ifthisisagame,I’llgladlyloseifitmeanshavingherexactlylikethis.

Grabbingherchinbetweenmyfingers,Isearchherfaceashereyesflutteropen.“Iwanttofuck

youuntilyoucan’twalk.”

Shecracksasmile.“Youwereworryingmeforasecond.Didn’tknowifthatsmartmouthwas

stillinthere.”

“Imayhaveleftitinyoursweetlittlepussy.”
“Oh,myGod,Travis.You’resovile.”
“Iloverilingyouup.Makesmehardasfuck.”
Shelooksdownatmycock,whichisatfullattention,andsmirks.“Obviously.”
“Andyoulikeit,so...”
Shedropsdowntoherkneesandlickstheprecumfromthetip,thentakeshertimelickingme.I

grabfistsofherhairasshemanagestoputmostofmeinhermouth.Myeyespracticallyrollinthe
backofmyheadwhenshecupsmyassinherhandsandshovesmedeeperdownherthroat.

“Mm,”Isay,knowingthatifshekeepsupthisrhythm,Iwon’tbeabletolastmuchlonger.It’s

beentoolongsinceI’vefelther.It’sbeentoolongsinceI’vefeltthisoverwhelmingneed.Andthough
I’mknownformystamina,rightnow,it’scompletebullshit.Iwatchhereverymovementassheslows
herpace,payingattentiontoeveryinch.Beforeshebringsmetotheedge,shelooksupatmeand
placesmyballsinhermouth,teasingme,whileshestrokesme.Holy.Fuck.

“Viola.”Ilookintohereyes,andsheknows.Ourgazeisn’tbrokenasIcome,andsheswallowsit

all.

“King,”shesays,smiling.
Itakeherhandandleadhertothebed,kissingthefuckoutofherbeforeshefallsbackagainstmy

pillows.Takingmytime,Isitontheedgeandpositionmyselfbesideher.Thepainisamotherfucker,
butit’snothingmorethananinconveniencewhenViola’snakedbodyispressedagainstme,
practicallybeggingmewitheveryblinkofhereyes.

Irunmyfingersthroughherhairbeforeourkissestransformintopuregreed.
“Jesus,you’rereadytogoagain?”
“Don’tlooksosurprised,princess.”
Shebendsdownandgrabsmynipplebetweenherteethandtugs.
“Keepdoingthat,andyoumightnotwalkforaweek.”
“Challengeaccepted.”Violadoesn’twaitanothersecondbeforeshe’sstraddlingmeandtaking

fullcontrol.Thisconfident,sexuallychargedsideofherissexyasfuck.Sheeasesallofmeinand
closeshereyes,lettingoutadeepthroatymoanasourendsmeet.

Onceshebeginsrollingherhips,takingmefromtheshafttothetipthenbackdownagain,Ifeel

likeagoddamnvirginonpromnight.Especiallywithhergreedylittlepussywrappedaroundmeso
tightly,takingeveryinchlikesheownsit.Maybeshedoes.

“Viola,”IsayasIdigmyfingersinherhips,slowingherdown.Foronce,Iwanttoenjoyit,

enjoyher.

Sheleansover,concernwrittenonherface.“Areyouokay?I’mnothurtingyou,amI?”
Ilaughandwrapmyarmsaroundherbackandpullhercloseruntilherfaceisinchesfrommine.

“Theonlythingthathurtsisknowingwecan’tdothiswheneverwewant.”

Shekissesme,andeveryemotionofhersfloodsstraightthroughme.It’swantandneedmixed

withlust.It’shateandloveandeverypent-upaggressionwe’vesharedovertheyears.Allofit
tricklesawayandisreplacedwithsomethingelse,somethingdifferent.Itfeelslikepurefucking
perfection.Onceherorgasmbuilds,shecountstothree,thenfour,andeventuallyfive.BeforeIlose
myselfcompletely,Irealizethatwe’renolongerfucking.No,forthefirsttime,ViolaandIare
makinglove.Andthelookonherface,beforeshewhisperssix,tellsmethatshefeelsit,too.

SecondsturnintominutesasIholdherinmyarms.
“IhavetoreadachapterformyStrategicManagementclassbeforeIgo,”shewhispers,leaning

herheadagainstmychest.

“I’msureyou’vereaditseveraltimesalready.”Igentlytracecirclesonherarmwithmythumb.

Sheperksupandgivesmealookconfirmingmysuspicion,butitdoesn’tsurpriseme.

“Beinghereisjusttoocomfortable,”shesayswithhernakedbodyagainstmine,pouting.
Forasecond,Istopeverythingandlisten.AndthefearonViola’sface,tellsall.
“Up,out,hurry,”Isay,asViolafranticallyrushesoutofmyroom.Ipulltheblanketsupovermy

bodyandclosemyeyes.

Mydoorcracksopen.“Dude,youawake?”Drewasks.
MyheartisracingasIpretendtobegroggy.
“What’sup?”Iask.
“IsViolahere?”
Thememoryofwhatwehaddonestilllingersintheroom.
“Notsure,”Ianswer,hatingtolie,buthopingshewasabletomakeitbacktothebathroomwhere

ourclotheswere.

“Whatdoyouwant,Drew?Andwhatareyoudoinghere?”IhearViolaquestionhimfrombehind.

“MakingsureI’mdoingwhatI’mtold?”

Heturnsandlooksather.“Ilivehere,remember?Yeah,I’mmakingsureyou’renotslacking.”
Violaisburningholesthroughhisheadbythewayshe’slookingathim.
“Actually,Iforgotmywalletandit’smyturntobuylunchtoday.Whyareyoubeingsoweird?”
“I’mnotbeingweird.”Shestormsintothekitchenwithagroan.Iheartherefrigeratordooropen

thenslamclosed.

“Yeah,she’sbeenweirdfordays,”ItellDrewjustloudenoughforViolatohear,knowingitwill

aggravatetheshitoutofher,butwehavetokeepthisup.

“She’sabouttostartherperiod,”Drewsayswithalaugh.
“Oh,that’swhatitis?Makessense.Thanksforthewarning.”Ichuckle,makingsuretokeepthe

blanketovermynakedbody.

“You’reanasshole.Actually,you’rebothassholes,”sheyellsfromthekitchen.
“Dude,toldyou.AuntFlo.”Helooksathisphonethenbackatme.“Iseverythinggoingokayso

far?”

Ithinkbacktotheshower,andthentothemomentwhenViolameltedinmyhands,thetasteofher,

andhowmynamefellfromherlipsasifshewasclaimingmeasherown.

“Yeah,perfect,”Iaddahintofsarcasm,whichisn’tlostonhim.
“Iwashopingshe’dwarmuptoyou.Iguessit’sgoingtotakeafewmoredays.”
Ilaugh.“Yeah,lookslikeit.”
“Mighttaketherestoftime,though.”
Ifheonlyknew.
“So,Miatextedme.”
Ican’ttellifhe’sexcitedaboutitornot,soIstayneutral,butitmakesmeuneasywhenIthink

abouther.

“She’sbeenreleasedfromthehospital,”headds.
“Well,that’sgoodnews.”Ifocusonhim,tryingtoreadhim.
“Shewantstocomeoverandtalkaboutwhathappenedaftershefinishesupsomeschool

projects.”

I’mnotsurewhatmyreactionshouldbeatthismoment.Hedoesn’tknowthecircumstancesand

hasn’taskedmeonequestion,butIputonafakesmilebecauseIknowhelovesher,eventhoughshe

doesn’tdeservehim.

“That’sgreat.”ButIknowherbeinghereisnotagoodidea.She’splayingmybestfriend,andI

don’tlikethatonefuckingbit.

“Shit.I’vegottago.IleftLoganinthecar.Youtwoplaynice,okay?”
Igivehimanod,andheleavesmetomythoughts.
Miaisactingout,beggingforattention,andsheknowsDrewwillgiveittoher.Ithoughtshe’d

learnedalesson,butclearly,Iwasmistaken.

VIOLA

OnceDrewleaves,ImakemywaybacktoTravis’room,wherehe’sgettingdressed.
“I’mnotbeingweird,”Isaymatter-of-factly.
Travissmilesatme.“It’sokay.It’sallofthedirtysexyou’vebeenhaving.”
“Whatjusthappenedcannothappenagain.OnemomentlongerandDrewcould’vecaughtus.He

willkillyouandmeboth.”

Ileanagainstthedoorway,andTraviswalkstowardme.
“I’dhappilydieforyou,”hesays,kissingmesweetly.
“Seriously.Wehavetobesmarteraboutthis.”KnowingthatDrewcouldbargeinatanyminute

andfindustogethermakesmejitteryandnervous.

Hewaitsalongtimebeforeheresponds.“Iagree,butdon’tbesoparanoidaroundhim.I’lltell

himrightnowifyouwantmeto.”Heturnsandlooksatmewithanarchedeyebrowandacheesygrin
ashepicksuphisphoneandpretendstocallDrew.

“Travis!”Heatrushestomycheeks,andI’mtwosecondsfromtacklinghim,butIknowthat

wouldleadtoroundtwo.So,Ireelitback,regardlessofwhatmybodywants.

Adingringsout,andIpullmyphonefrommypocket.ImmediatelyIstartsmilingandlaughing.It

dingsagainandagain.Travisstudiesme,watchingmebitemylipasIrespond.Icantellhewantsto
askmewhoI’mtalkingto,butit’snothisbusiness,asmuchashewantstomakeithisbusiness.I
glanceupathim,andhedropsthesmile,whichonlycausesmetolaughagain.

“Don’tworry,”Isay,watchinghimtense,almostasifhe’sjealous.Iturnthephonearoundand

flashhimapictureofaflacciddickonthescreen.“Courtneysendsmedickpicsrandomly,but
they’reallweirdandhaveissues.”

“That’sthemostfucked-upthingI’veseeninalongtime.Isitwrappedaroundhisballs?”
Ilaughagain.“Idon’tknowwhatit’sdoing,butitshouldn’tbendthatway.I’msogladyoudon’t

haveamessedupone.”

“Youmeanyouwouldn’tgivemeachanceifIhadaweirddick?”
“No.Weirddicksareahardlimitforme,”Isaywithasmile.
ThedickpicsfloodinandIgobacktomyphone.TearsstreamdownmyfacebecauseI’m

laughingsohard.Iswearshehasafolderofthesegrosspicturesreservedjusttotortureme.

C:SOPLEASECOMEOVERAFTERCLASS!
V:Okay!Geez.
C:Ipromisetomakeitworthyourwhile;)

IrollmyeyesbecauseIdon’tthinkIwanttoknowwhatshe’stalkingabout.Withher,there’s

reallynotelling.

“Courtneyhastoomuchtimeonherhands.Andshouldn’tyoubereadingthatchapter?”Travis

remindsme,droppingdownonthecouchandturningonthetelevision.Hestopsonsomeoldwestern
wherethegunshotssoundlikericochetsandeverythingonthescreenlooksbrown—thehorses,the
hats,theshirts,andeventhemesainthebackgroundarethesamecolor.Isitdownnexttohimand
beginspeed-reading.

Analarmonmyphonegoesoff,andIknowit’stimetogo.“Shit.Class.I’llbebacklater.”
“There’snowayIcouldtemptyouintostaying,isthere?”Travisliftshisshirt,andhisabsbegme

tostay.ButIshakemyheadandstand,throwingmybagovermyshoulder.Iforcemyselftotakea
fewstepsforward.

AsIwalkpasthim,hegrabsmyhandandpullsmetohim,causingmetostumble.Mybodylands

nexttohimontheedgeofthecouch,andourfacesaresoclosethatthewarmthofhisbreathbrushes
againstmycheek.Tuckingloosestrandsofhairbehindmyear,Travisleansinandkissesmeso
sweetlythathepracticallystealsmybreathaway.IfeellikeI’mfloating,suspendedabovereality,asI
experiencehiminadifferentway.Overtheyears,he’swhittledawayatmyheartandhasfinally
carvedapathstraightthroughthemiddle.IhopetoGodthisneverends.Myhandsthreadthroughhis
hairandourmovementsbecomewilder,daring,almostanimalisticinallaspects;ittakeseverythingI
havenottogiveintohimagain.

“ThethingsI’ddotoyourightnow,”Travissaysinalowrasp,withhiseyesclosed,beforehe

pullsaway.

“Thethingsyou’vealreadydonetome.”
“You’reneverenough,princess.”
“Andsometimesyou’retoomuch.”Ismileagainsthislips.Myheartisfluttering,andI’m

practicallygaspingforair.Theintensityofthatsinglekisslightsmybodyonfire,andit’ssohardto
leave,butImusterthestrengthtostand.

“Youalmostcastaspellonme,King,”Isay,beforeleaningdownandgivinghimanothersmack

onthelips.

Iwalktomycarandsitinthedrivewayforafewmoments,tryingtoprocessitall.Beingwith

Travisfeltdifferenttoday.Itfeltrealandmeaningful,asifoursoulstouchedforthefirsttimesince
wewerekids.Forthefirsttimeinyears,IsawtheboyIfellinlovewith.AndIhopeheneverleaves
again.

OnceIstartthecar,IrealizehowlateIam.Shit!
Hurriedly,Iparkatmydormandrunacrosscampus,arrivingtoclasslate.Isitdown,hairamess,

withswollenlips.Itrytolistentomyprofessorspeakaboutmanagingprojectswithafocusonlong-
termstrategiesinsteadofday-to-dayissues,butmymindgoestoTravis.

AfterclassItexthim.
V:Courtneyisbeggingmetocomeover.Doyouneedanything?
Hisresponseisimmediate,andIinstantlysmile.
T:Justyou.
V:Youshouldberesting.
T:Youshouldbesittingonmyface.
V:OMG!Nowyourphoneisevidence.Itmustbedestroyed.
I’mhalftemptedtosendhimsomeofthosecrazydickpics,butIrefrain—foronce.
T:I’mtakinganapnow.Nurse’sorders:)
V:Sweetdreams.
IsendthetextquicklyasIthrowmybaginthebackofmycar.
T:Onlyifyou’reinthem.
V:Gag.You’relayingitonthick.

T:Youlikeitthick.
Shakingmyhead,Ishould’veanticipatedthatresponsefromhim.
V:Shutitandgotosleep!Yourmedshavemadeyoudelirious.
IrespondbeforestartingthecaranddrivingtoCourtney’sincompletesilence.Mymindisracing

amillionmilesperhourasIreplayeverythingthat’shappened.

“Iguessmybribetextsanddickpicsworked,”shesayswithawidesmilewhensheopensthe

door.

“Ofcourse!Nothinglikesoftpenisesthathangoverballslikewaterfalls!”Ilayonthesarcasm,

laughingatthethoughtofthosehorrificpictures.

“Ineededsomeoneelsetobescarredforlife,too.Justsharingthelove.”
“WhatwouldIeverdowithoutyou?”Iask.
“Studytwenty-fourhoursaday,sevendaysaweek,probably.”Shestuffsherphoneinsideher

pocketandsmilesbackatme.She’sinamuchbettermoodthanlastweek.Court’salmostherself
again,andI’msohappytohaveherback.

“Comeon;wehavesomewheretobe.”
InarrowmyeyesatheraswewalkoutofherapartmenttowardtheJeep.Afterunlockingit,she

pullsherlongblondehairintoahighponytail.Beforeshereverses,Courtneygivesmeawinkthen
slamsonthegas,causingthewheelstosquealoutinprotest.Soonwe’recruisingthrough
neighborhoods,andsheturnsdownthemusicandbeginswithherquestions.

“So...”Shewiggleshereyebrowsatme.
“Thingsaregreat,”Isaywithabigsmile.
“You’vealreadyhadsex,haven’tyou?”
Mymouthdropsopen.“Well...”
“Ilovethetwoofyoutogether.DidheeversaywhyMiawaswithhim?”Shelooksoveratme,

hopingI’llgiveherallthedirtygossip,butthere’snothingtosay.

“Hesaidnothinghappened,soI’mchoosingtobelievehim.”
Courtneypullsintothemallparkinglot.“WhereisViolaFisherandwhathaveyoudonewith

her?”

“IfDrewtrustshimandbelievesnothinghappened,andTravissaysnothinghappened,allIcando

isfollowmyheartandtrusthim,too.”

Shegivesmeabigsmile.“Good.BecauseIsawthewayhelookedatyoulastweek.He’sgotit

bad.Almostlovesickpuppyloveshit.Plus,he’dbeanidiottomessthatup.You’reaten,Lola.”

Irollmyeyesatherandshakemyhead,andshegivesmeaquickwink.
“Nowlet’sgobuytonsofsexylingerie.Italwaysmakesmefeelbetter.”
Ilaugh.“Ican’taffordit.It’stooexpensive.”
Shesmilesandflasheshercreditcard.“Mytreat.Well,myparent’streat,butthesamething.

You’retheSelenatomyTaylor.”

WewalkthroughthemallandstopinsideVictoria’sSecret.Thelaceissoprettyandsoft,andit’s

beenwaytoolongsinceI’vesplurgedonmyself.Betweentutoring,payingforwhatgroceriesIcan
afford,andmyridiculousStarbuckshabit,I’mjustabrokecollegestudent,scrapingby.Courtney
doesn’tactentitledlikesomeoftheotherrichgirlsatschool,butherparentsdosupporthershopping
habits.Ipraytotheretailgodsthatshefindsajobthatpaysherwellorshemarriesamanwithdeep
pockets.Ilaughatthethought.

Courtneystartspickingupprettybrasandpantiesinallsortsofcolorsandshovesthemintomy

arms.She’slostherdamnmind,andI’mnotcomplaining,butIfeelguilty.It’stoomuchtoaccept.

“Court,youdon’thavetodothis.”

“Shutit,sister.”Shefindssomescandalousthongsandaddsthemtomythings.“Youcan’tlook

likeafrumpforTravis.”

IfIdidn’tknowbetter,I’dsaysheandTraviswereonthesameteam.
“Whosesideareyouon,anyway?”Iaskherasshesnatchesupmorepanties.
“Whatdoyoumean?”She’snotevenreallylisteningtome.Shehasthiswildlookinhereyeslike

she’sunstoppable.

“I’mteamTraviola.Ha!AlltheHollywoodpowercoupleshavenicknames,sowe’llhavetowork

onthat.Bennifer,Brangelina,Kimye,Jelena...”Shedropsthepantiesinawirebasket,notevenpaying
attentiontomyreaction.

Ican’tstoplaughing.Courtney’scrazy.Butitmakesmefeelgoodtoknowshe’sonourside.

Beforedraggingmetothecounter,shegrabsafewbottlesofperfume.Thewomanatthecheckout
givesusasmile.

“I’masuckerforapantiessale,”Courtneysays,leaningagainstthecounterlikeshejustbought

theplace,whichshepracticallydidbytheamountofclothesthat’spileduphigh.

Thewomansmiles.“Yourtotalisfivehundredforty-twodollarsandthirty-sixcents.”
“Courtney,seriously,”Iwhisper,butshebrushesmeoff.
Shehandsoverhercreditcardwithoutbattinganeyeandsignsthescreen.“Oh,canwehavetwo

separatebags?”

ThewomanhandsustheirsignaturepinkbagswithVictoria’sSecretwrittenacrossthefrontin

shiny,silverletters,andI’msoexcitedaboutmynewthings.

Completelygiddy,ItakeaquickpictureofthepinkbagandsendittoTravis.
T:Damn!
Ireadhistextmessageandshovemyphonebackinmypocket.
“IthinkIloveyou.Thanks,Court.”
Shegivesmeahug.“Iloveyoutoo,Lola.”
Wewalkoutofthestore,andallIcandoissmile.
“Buyinglingeriealwaysmakesmehappy.Andmymomtotallysupportsmyhabit.She’safirm

believerthatawomanshouldsplurgeonpantiesandbras.ButI’msureit’sgoingtotriggeraphone
callwhenthestatementcomesin.It’sadeadgiveawaythatI’mupsetaboutsomething,andIhaven’t
toldheraboutTobyyet.”Courtneylaughsitoffbuthervoiceslightlycracks,andIcantellshe’s
thinkingaboutit,whichupsetsher.ItrytochangethesubjectbeforeshegetslostinTobythoughts.

“WhenI’mamillionaire,you’regettingtonsofgifts.”
Sheperksup.“TheonlygiftIwantisyourbrotherwrappedinnothingbutabow.”
Iplayfullynudgeher.
“Hey,I’mjustbeinghonest.”Shesmiles.
Onthewaybacktohertownhouse,IlookdownatmyphoneasanothertextmessagefromTravis

flashesacross.

T:Drew’shomealittleearly,andhe’sstinkingupthekitchenwithhisspecialtofurecipe.

IreplyknowingexactlywhatDrew’smaking.It’sthisAsiandishwithbroccoliandsoysauce.For

somereason,hethinksit’sthemostdeliciousthingontheplanet,althoughwealltellhimit’s
disgusting.

V:Gross.Enjoythat.
T:I’llsmileandpretendit’schicken,likealways.
IlaughbecauseIdothesamething.
T:Soaboutthatlingerie?WhenwillIsee?

Ican’twaittoshowhim.
V:Idunno.Ilikekeepingyouonedge.
T:Tomorrow?

V:TuesdaysandThursdaysareusuallybookedtothemaxwithtutoringandclasses,soI’m
stressingjustalittle.

T:Don’tworryaboutme,princess.I’llbejustfine.Drew’smakingenoughofthiscrapthatI’llbe
eatingituntilmyribsheal.

Ifeelbadfornotbeingthereforhim,butIdon’tseehowIcouldworkitin.I’llhavetomakeitup

tohim.

V:Ifyouneedanything,I’llbeyouron-callnurse.
T:Anything?:)
V:Wellnotanything,butyouknow!
T:Damn.I’llkeepyouintheloop.Promise.
V:Soundsgood:)
T:I’llbethinkingaboutyounakedalldaytomorrow.
Ireadhismessageoverandoveragain.Sometimes,seeingthissideofTravisdoesn’tseemreal.

ButIhavetoremindmyselfthatitis,andforonce,I’mgettingexactlywhatI’vealwayswanted.

V:Shutup!:)

CHAPTERSEVEN

TRAVIS

KnowingViolawouldn’tbearoundtokeepmecompanymadeTuesdaydragbyextraslow,and

mynightwasjustasrestless.Wednesdayarrives,andIwakeupexhaustedeventhoughI’vebeenlying
aroundfordays.I’mnotusedtothislaid-backlifestyle,andwhileI’mmentallyreadytogetbackto
thegym—andevenbacktowork—it’sphysicallynotanoption.Ontopofthemedsthatkickmyass
anytimeIdodecidetotakethem,Iwouldn’tbeabletositinanofficechairforlongerthananhour.

Thedoctorhasrefusedtoreleasemeforanindefiniteamountoftime,andI’mworriedCrawford

Marketingwillfindareasontoletmego,butluckily,I’mcoveredbyshort-termdisability.Though
it’sonlybeentwoweekssincetheaccident,Alyssahasalreadythreatenedtohaveherdaddyfireme,
butshe’snotstupidandknowsshe’llfacealawsuit,whichisbadPRforthefirm.Thankfully,I’mnot
dealingwithBlakeandAlyssa’sbullshitfortenhoursadayontopofthepain,butthestressof
workingtherestillhauntsmedaily.I’msuremyworkisstackingup,waitingforwhenI’mableto
return.I’mpositiveit’llbeBlake’swayoflegallyretaliatingagainstmeforbeingoutoftheoffice.If
itweren’tforthatplace,Iwould’venevergoneonthatdrive,andI’mnotsureIcaneverforgiveor
respectBlakeandAlyssaforthat.Mybodyachesjustthinkingaboutit.

However,thebiggestreasonforbeingextrasoretodayisafive-foot-fivesassyknow-it-allwho’s

beenmakingeveryounceofpainworthit.AlthoughthosearemomentsI’llneverforget,mybodyis
kickingmyassforit.

Therainpoundingagainstmybedroomwindowmakesmewanttostayinbedallday,butthe

growlinginmystomachletsmeknowit’stimetogetupandeatsomething.Thegloomyskymakesit
extrahardtogetup,butknowingI’llbeseeingViolatodaygivesmestrengthtogetmoving.

Imakeapotofcoffeeregardlessofhowharditistoliftmyarmsandsitonthecouchwhileit

brews.I’vehadnoappetite,andIknowIneedtoeatbeforeIwitheraway.Oncethecoffeemaker
beeps,Ishuffletothekitchenandpoptwopiecesoftoastintothetoaster.Thesmellofthatfucking
tofuisstilllingeringinthehouse,andI’malittlepissedIateit.Neveragain.

Assoonasthetoastpopsup,Ismearbutterandstrawberryjellyontopandthrowitonaplate.As

I’mwalkingoutofthekitchen,thefrontdooropensandslamsclosed.Violacomesin,drenched,her
hairflatandstickingtoherforehead,whiletherestisupinamessyponytail.Herjacketandpantsare
wet.Myeyeswidenassoonasshelooksatme.She’ssexyasfuckregardlessofhowshelooks,but
todayshe’sinhotmessmode.

“Ihateitwhenitrains!Mydamnumbrellabroke!Gah!”Shedropsherbag,anditmakesaloud

thudonthefloor.

“Didyoufeelthat?”Ijokewithher,tryingtolightenthemood.
“Feelwhat?”Shestopsandlooksaround.
“IthinkyourbagofbooksjusttrippedtheRichterscale.”Isitatthetable,taketwobitesoftoast,

andI’mdone.Iseriouslyneedtogetoverthisbullshit.

Shesitsinfrontofme,exhaustioncoveringher.
Istudyherface.“Everythingokay?”
“I’mhavingasmallfreak-out.Thereareonlyfivemoreweeksofclassleft.Finalsarecomingup.

IhavetokeepupmyGPA.I’mnotaheadwithmyreading,andI’vebeenshowinguplate.Everyone

thatI’mtutoringthinksIcanguaranteethemanAwhentheyaren’tputtingintheworktomakethat
shithappen.I’mconcernedabouttellingDrewaboutus,andI’mworriedaboutyouand–”

“Whoa,whoa,whoa.Princess,don’taddmeorustoyourlistofworries.Okay?”
Shedoesn’tlookmeintheeyes.
“Viola,”Isaysternly,andshefinallylooksupatme.Thestressiswrittenacrossherface.
“It’sjust...”Shesighs.“Schoolandgraduation.It’salottothinkabout.Mylifeafterward.Ajob.

Movingoutofthedorms.It’sahugechange.SchoolhasconsumedmylifeforsolongthatI’mnot
sureIknowwhoIamwithoutmybooksandclass,soI’mfreakingoutjustalittlebit.”

Ileanacrossthetableandgrabherhand,offeringhersomecomfort.“It’sanormalreaction.

WhenIgraduated,Ididn’tknowwhatIwoulddoafterward.Ididn’thaveaplan—justapieceof
paper,ashittyjob,andaveragegrades.You’resosmartandhavenothingtoworryabout.
Opportunitieswillfallinyourlapwhenyouleastexpectthem.Don’tworryaboutlifeafterschool
yet.Justbeconcernedwithwhat’sgoingonrightnow.I’malwaysgoingtobehereforyou,okay?
Notsureifyourealizethisornot,butI’mnotgoinganywhere.So,ifyouneedtofocusonschooland
yourself,Iunderstand.WecantellDrewclosertograduation,sothenyoudon’thavethatextrastress.
Don’tworryaboutus.Don’tworryaboutme.I’vewaitedoveradecadeforyou,sofiveweeksis
nothing.Itwillflyby,andwhenyou’rewalkingacrossthatstagewithyourperfectgradepoint
average,you’lllaughathowyoufeelrightnow.Trustme,princess.”

Shesighsandhershouldersrelaxslightly.“Thankyou.”
“AndIhavetheperfectremedytogetridofthatextrastress,”Isayslyly,takingadrinkofcoffee,

andshesmilesforthefirsttimesincesheopenedthefrontdoor.

“Actually,”shesayswithacutelittlesmirk,“Ihaveasurpriseforyou.”
Ilickmylips,intriguedbyherwords.“Asurprise?”
Shenodsherhead,stands,andwalkstome.Leaningover,shegrabsmyfaceandkissesme.It

takeseverythingIhavenottobendheroverthekitchentableandfuckherrightthere.Mybodysays
no,butmydicksaysnow.Istand,meetingherintensity,andshewrapsherarmsaroundmyneck.I
wince,andshepullsaway.

“Areyoufeelingokay?”
“Actually,allthegymnasticshavecaughtuptome.”
Shesmiles.“Thenmysurpriseisperfectforyou.”
Violatakesmyhandandleadsthewaytomybedroom.Ialreadylovewherethisisgoing.
“Sithere,”shedemandsandpullstheofficechairfromundermydesk.Idon’tevenargueandjust

followherdirections.Sheturnsonthelampinthecorneroftheroomandsetsherphoneonthe
dockingstationonmynightstand.Shesmilesbeforeshepressesplay.Afterasecond,sheflipsthe
lightswitch.Sinceit’srainyandgrayoutside,awarmglowfillsthespace.Idon’tknowwhatthesong
is,andgiveabsolutelynofucksaboutituntilViolastartsslowlymovingherhipstothebeatofthe
music.

Hereyesdon’tleavemineassheslipsherjacketoffhershouldersanddropsittothefloor.One

byone,sheunbuttonshershirt,turningandteasingmewithherperfectlittleassinthosetightjeans.A
fewmomentspassandshedropsherlong-sleevedshirttothefloornexttoherjacket.IfeverI
thoughtViolahadcastaspellonme,it’srightnowatthisverymoment,becauseIcan’ttakemyeyes
fromher.

Slowly,sheunbuttonsandthenunzipsherjeans,takinghertimeasshemovesthemdownherhips

andoffherlegs.Shemakessuretobendover,showingmeherassinablackthongthatmatchesthe
brathatbarelycoversherbeautifultits.

“SweetJesus,”Igrowl,andallshedoesissmile,takingherwethairoutofthathighponytailand

allowingittocascadearoundherface.Violaisavixen,alittlesexkitten,whohasherfingershooked

attheedgeofherpanties,butshedoesn’tremovethem.I’monedge,watchingasshespinsincircles,
showingmethatbareass.Shemovescloser,rubbingherassagainstmydick,butstilldancingtothe
beatofthemusic.

Sherollsherheadonhershouldersandstandsrightinfrontofmebeforesheplacesherfingerin

hermouthandsucks.Onebrastrapslidesoffhershoulder,thentheother.Movingherhandsbehind
herback,sheunhookstheblackbraandallowsittofalltothefloor.Herbreastsareperfect,andher
nipplesareatfullattention.She’sstandinginonlyablackthong,witheyesclosed,dancingtotheslow
eroticmusic—justforme.Iswallowhard,andI’mnotsurehowmuchlongerIcanwatch.Surpriseis
anunderstatement;thiswasafuckinggift.

Thesongfinallyends,andsheopenshereyes,lookingatmewithaburningdesire.Shestrides

towardmeandstraddlesmeintheofficechair.Igrabherfacerightbeforeourlipscrashtogether.It’s
asifwe’rebothlostatsea,beingpulledandpushedtogetherbytheundercurrentofoneanother,and
there’snorescueinsight.BeingwithViolaissointensethatit’seasytoforgetabouteverything.It’s
justmeandherandit’sallthatmatters.She’sallthat’severmattered.Andatthismoment,Ifucking
needherasmuchasIneedair.

VIOLA

ThewayTravisisslowlykissingmeisalmosttoomuchformetohandle.Icanfeelhimthrough

hispajamapantsandmypanties,andit’ssohardformetorestrainfrompressingagainsthim.My
skinisonfire,whilehismouthandhandsencapsulatemybodyandsoul.Irememberdreamingabout
thiswhenIwasastupidteenagerwithacrushthatalmostdestroyedme.HavingTraviswraphisarms
aroundmeandstealmybreathawaydoesn’tseemreal,andIkeepwonderingwhenIwillwakeup.
Butashegrabsmynipplebetweenhisteeth,I’mbroughtbacktoreality—tothehereandnow,and
beingtogetherismorerealthanitwilleverbe.

Iknowwherethiswillleadifwekeepgoing.“Youshouldberesting.Nomoregymnastics,

remember?”

Travisthreadshisfingersthroughmyhairandholdsmyfaceinthepalmofhishand.“Thisisn’t

thetimeforlogic,princess.”

Iallowasmallsmirktocrossmylips.“Whydoyouthinkthesepantiesarestillon?”
“You’replayingwithfire,”hegrowls,adjustinghimself.
“Wellthen,IhopeIdon’tgetburned,”Isay,trailingkissesdownhisbody,asIinchhispajama

pantsdown.

MyeyeswidenasIseehowhardheis.He’swearingashit-eatinggrin,onethatquicklyfades

whenIlickthetip.

“Iwanttomakeyoufeelgood,”Iwhisper,lookingupathim.Hismouthopens,thencloses,and

forthefirsttime,I’mprettysurehehasnowords.I’mtakingcontrol.

“Don’tyoudaremoveamuscle,orI’llendthis,”Iwarn,reallywantinghimtotakehisinjuries

seriously.

“Butagoodnursewouldn’tallowmetosuffer.”Hesmirks.
“WhatifIsaidIdidn’twanttobeagoodnursetoday?”Iplacehiminmymouthandswirlmy

tongueonhisthrobbingcock.

“Aslongasyou’reareallybadnurse,I’mgoodwiththat,too.”Hecloseshiseyes,andIfocuson

mymovementswhilelisteningtohislowgroans.Itrytotakehimallinmymouthwhileincreasing
mypace.Smallmoansescapehim,andI’mpleased,knowinghe’senjoyingthisasmuchasIam.I

lickhisshaft,notrushing,beingthebestdamnnurseIknowhowtobe.Igrabhimwithmyhandand
placehiminmymouthandmoveinarhythmicmotion,whichcauseshimtotensebeneathme.

“Princess,”hewhispers.“Ineedtofeelyou.”
Iknowit’sabadideabecauseofhisinjuries,butIneedhimasmuchasheneedsme.Insteadof

protesting,Istand.Hesmilesashemovesmypantiestothesidewithonefinger.Ipushthechair
againstthedeskandstraddlehim,allowinghimtoknowwhathe’sdonetome.

“You’resofuckingwet,”hesaysasIguidehimin.Thewayhefeelsisindescribable,andI

shudderasourendsmeet.It’slikelockandkeyfinallytogetheratonce,bothuselesswithouttheother.

Wetakeitslow,notrushing,notwantingtoputextrastressonhisbody.Henipstheskinofmy

neckwithhisteeth,andIrunmyfingersthroughhishairasItakehim—allofhim—continuously.
Thechairsqueaksoutwithangrysqueals,andI’mafraiditwillcollapseifwecontinue,butitdoesn’t
stopus.Hismouthtravelstomynipple,andhisthumbmovestomyclit.Ashecirclesmyhardbud,
mybodybegsforrelief.It’seasytolosecontrolwithhim,especiallywhenI’monthebrinkof
ecstasy.

Momentslater,I’mtravelingdownapathofnoreturn,losingmyselfinthesensation.Ourlips

crashtogether,andhetasteslikestrawberryjellyandtoothpaste.Ipantintohismouth,ridingthe
never-endingwaveasourbodiesrocktogether.WhenIbitehisbottomlip,Travis’bodytenses.His
fingersdigintomyhipswhilehefightstheimpendingorgasmthat’sbuilding,butit’salosingbattle.
Ashecomes,Traviswrapshisarmsaroundmybodyandholdsmetight,asifheneverwantstolet
mego.Westayinthatpositionforawhile,slowlyandpassionatelykissingoneanother,oureyes
speakingwordsthatourlipscan’ttranslate.We’refrozenintime,andnothingelsematters.

“You’rebeautiful.AndIknowwhatyou’regettingforyourbirthday,mybirthday,andfor

Christmas.”

“What?”IaskasIcleanup.
“Morelingerie.”
“AndIknowwhatyou’regetting,too,”Isaysweetly.
Travistiltshisheadandwaits.
“Blowjobs.”
Travisthrowshisarmsintheair,likearefereeconfirmingatouchdown.“I’min!Mybirthdayis

everydayoftheweek.Ialsolikethemforbreakfast,lunch,anddinner.Agoodgirlfriendwould
agree.AndI’llbeawonderful,lovingboyfriendandsupportit.”

“Girlfriend?”Ijoke.Iputonmyclothesandtrytosmoothmyhairbackintoaponytailasthe

electricityofwhatwedidstreamsthroughme.

“That’swhatyouare.So,don’tbeabadone,unlessyou’rebadlikeyouwereabadnurse.”He

winks,notevenrealizinghiswordscatchmeoffguard.It’sthefirsttimehe’ssaidIwashisgirlfriend
outloud.Iknowweagreedtobetogether,butthetitlemakesitseemofficial,notasee-where-it-goes
kindofthingthatIworkedupinmymind.TravisKingismyboyfriend.Itdoesn’tseemreal.

Oncewe’representableagain,Ispreadmybooksoutonthekitchentableandattempttostudy,but

I’mfindingithardtoconcentrate.Atextdingsonmyphone,anotificationfromtheuniversity,saying
afternoonclassesarecancelledduetoafloodwarning.Iliterallydoafistpump.

“What’sgoingon?”Travisasksashehearsmywhoopofjoy.
“Classiscanceled.Savedbytherain!Iloverain!”
Heleansagainstthedoorframeandgivesmealook.“Thirtyminutesago,yousaidyouhatedit.”
“Well,apparently,IlovethingsthatIsometimeshate,”Isay,notevenrealizingwhatI’djustsaid.
“Iloveyou,too,princess.”Travissmilesandtakesasipofhismilk.MymouthfallsopenthenI

closeitandopenandcloseitagain,butallhedoesislaugh.

“You’reanasshole,”Irepeatthesamewordsthathe’sheardmesayamilliontimesoverthe

years.Myeyeswiden.“Nomoregymnasticsforyou!”

“Butit’smyfavoritesport,”hejokes,buthisdeliveryisalittleoff,andIcantellhe’snotfeeling

well.Itmakesmefeelguilty.

“Gorest.Ifyouneedsomething,justtextme.”
Henodsandwalksdownthehallway.Isitatthetableandhavetoforcemyselftostopthinking

abouthimandus.Hourspass,andIgetthroughmyreadinglist.Therainisactuallyrelaxingwhen
I’mnotfightingit.OnceI’mfinished,IfeelgreataboutwhatIaccomplished.JustasItellmyself‘one
morechapter,’thedoorknobturns,andDrewwalksin,smilinglikehewonthefreakinglottery.

“Areyouokay?”Istopreadingandfocusonhim.
He’ssoakedfromheadtotoe,butthegoofysmileonhisfaceisn’tfading.Hedoesn’tevennotice

thatI’mhereearly.Iguessitalljustlooksnormaltohim,butit’stotallynot.

“What’sthematter,Ican’tbehappy?”
Inarrowmyeyes.“Oh,youcan,butyou’reusuallynot.You’rescaringme.”
Hetakeshisbootsoffatthedoorthengoesstraighttohisbedroomwhistling—yes,whistling—

andchanges.Whenhecomesback,he’swearingazombiet-shirtandsomebasketballshorts.Copby
day,gamerbynight,thedudeisachameleon.

“I’morderingpizza.Cheatdaytocelebrate.”Drewflicksopenanapponhisphoneandseconds

laterthepizzaisordered.

Iraisemyeyebrowsandshovemybooksintomybag.“Whatarewecelebrating,exactly?”
“Miacalledtoday.Shewantstotalkaboutusgettingbacktogether.Ithinkthistimeitmightreally

workout.Vi,shemissesme.”

Ican’tholdbackthedisappointedlookthatcrossesmyface.Drewdeservesmorethanthis.And

she’splayedthisgamewithhimsomanytimesoverthepastfewyearsthatit’salmostsickening.
HearinghernamemakesmyjawclenchbecauseIknowmybrotherisnothingmorethanherbackup
planwhenshe’sbored.Ijustwishhecouldseeit.

Hestandsandwalkstothekitchen,comingbackwithabeerinhand.Yep,he’swaytoohappy,and

Iwanttobehappyforhim,butIcan’tfinditwithinmyselftodoso.

AmIbeinghypocritical?
Iforceoutasmile,notwantingtoupsethim.Ifthisiswhathetrulywants,I’llfinditwithinmy

hearttoaccepthisdecision,andIhopehewoulddothesamethingforme.Acceptingisnotthesame
asliking,Iremindmyself.

HelooksatmelikeI’mcrazy.“You’vegotthatstrangelookonyourfaceagain.”
Drewisn’tanidiot.He’sacopandhasasixthsenseforthisstuff.Buteverytimesomeone

mentionsMia,Ijustthink,‘yeah,she’saSlytherin.’Hell,shemightevenbeVoldemort,butthat’syet
tobedetermined.Iclosemyeyestightandopenthem,tryingtogetagrip.

“You’restillhere?”Travissays,ploppingdowninthechairbesideme.“Youwereinsuchahurry

toleaveafteryoufedmethatshittytoastthatIdidn’tthinkyou’dstickaround.”

Iturnandlookathim,gratefulforhissavinggrace.Helooksmorerestedandnotasexhaustedas

hedidearlier,whichmakesmewanttosmile.Theplatewiththebarelyeatentoastisstillonthetable.
Drewglancesoveratitandlaughsbeforehesitsonthecouchnexttome.Ihavetoplaythisgame,
whetherIwanttoornot.Justfornow,Itellmyself.

“Shutup,Travis.YoushouldbegladIscrapedthemoldoffforyou.”
“Atleastyou’renoteatingkittylittersandwiches,”Drewsayswithabigsmile.“IswearVifedme

onewhenwewerekids.”

NowIgenuinelyamlaughing.ItwasPopRocksandpeanutbutter—asecretrecipe.

TravisnoticeshowannoyinglyhappyDrewis,andquestionsit,justasIhad.“What’supwith

you?”

Drewlooksatme,andIknowI’minterruptingtheirdudetalk,soItakethecueandwalkbackto

thetable.I’mhalf-temptedtopullmybooksbackoutofmybag,butIdon’t.Instead,Igetonmy
phoneandpretendtobesearchingforsomething.I’mfarenoughtobeawaybutcloseenoughtostill
listen.

“Miacalledagain.We’regoingtotalkabouteverythingandfigureouthowtomakeitwork

becauseshesaidshecouldn'tgetoverus.”

Glancingover,InoticeTravis’reactiondoesn’tchange.“That’sgreat,dude.”
Atthisverymoment,IwishIcoulduseLegilimencyandreadhismind,justlikeVoldemortdidto

Harry.

Amillionquestionsstreamthroughmymind,andittakeseverythingformetoholdthemback.

DoesTravisapproveofthis?What’shisopinionaboutherandDrew?Imakeamentalnotetoask
himlater.Itcan’tonlybemewhothinksthisisabadidea.Andsheknowsifshekeepsrunningbackto
Drew,hewillneverhavetimetogetoverher.Ugh.EverydayIdislikeheralittlebitmore.

“Imightdriveupandseeheronmynextdayoff.Shesaidshehasalottodiscusswithme,”Drew

says,chugginghisbeer.“ShementionedadoubledatewithherfriendKaseyinafewweeksandasked
ifyou’dliketojoinus.”

Ifeelmycheeksgopink,andItrytopretendwhatDrewjustsaidisirrelevanttome.
“No,dude.I’mgood.Nowomanshouldhavetodealwithmelookinglikethis.”
MyheartbreaksalittlebecauseIknowthecutsandbruisesbotherhim.ButIdoanimaginary

victorydanceregardless.Iclearmythroat,lettingthemknowthistalkisover,andDrewsitsback,
stillsmiling.Ishakemyheadandplopdownnexttohimonthecouch.I’mjustalittlepissedthat
DrewistryingtohookTravisup,orratherMiais.Idon’tknowwhatshe’splayingat,butsheneedsto
backoff,orshemightfindherselfontheothersideoftheAvadaKedavrakillingcurse.

ItrytoignoreTravis,buthe’ssmiling,becauseheknowsDrewgottome.
“Pantiesstillinaknot?”Travisasksnonchalantly.
“AuntFlo,dude,I’mtellingyou,”DrewsaystoTravis,pointingdirectlyatme.
“I’mnotabouttostartmyperiod,idiots.Seriously!”
Travislaughs,andDrewjoinsin.Itrytoignorethemboth.
Thepizzacomes,andweeat.Therainfinallystops,andby7:00p.m.I’myawninglikeanoldlady.

IgiveDrewasidehugbeforeIleave.Hewassosprawledoutoncloudnine,hedidn’tevennoticeI
didn’thaveordomylaundry.MaybeMiawillbetheperfectdistractionforhim.

“Bye,V,”Travissayswithasmirkonhislips.Iwanttoruntohimandkisshimgoodbye,but

instead,IshakemyheadbeforeIclosethedoor.MyheartisbeatingsofastasIdrivehomethatIhave
toremindmyselftobreathe.MiaistryingtogetDrewback.Travisisgoingtotellhimaboutus.My
lifecouldeasilytransitionintoasoapopera.

WhenIarriveatmydorm,Ashleyismakingcoffeecupcakeinthemicrowave.Dormlifesucks

sometimes.Icouldn’thelpbutmakeafacebecauseitalwayssmellssodisgustingbecausesheputs
proteinpowderinthere,too.

“IgetbywithwhatIcan.Ohhey,there’ssomemailonthecounterforyou.Ipickeditupfromthe

officethismorningafterclass.”Sheputsaspoonfulofmushinhermouthandsmiles.

Idropmybooksandlaughathowlouditisasthethudechoesfromthehighceilings.

Nonchalantly,Iwalktothecounterandstartgoingthroughthepilesofjunkmailthatarestackedup
overbreak,untilIcomeacrossacream-coloredenvelopewitharedseal.Thefrontisaddressedto
Ms.ViolaFisherwithagenericP.O.Boxasthereturnaddress.

MyheartbeginstoraceasIpeeltheenvelopeopenandreadasfastasIcan.WhenIreadthe

words,“You’vebeenselectedforaninternshipwithUnionInternational,”myheartstops.Oneofthe
largestcorporationsintheUnitedStateswantstogiveme,thebook-lovingHarryPotternerdwith
littletonoexperience,achance.Attachedtothebackoftheletteristhreepagesofpaperworkthat
mustbesubmittedsoon.Theinternshipwouldstarttwoweeksaftergraduation,andIwouldbe
requiredtomovetoBostonandlivethereforsixmonths.Idroptheletteronthecounter,unsureof
howtofeelbecauseI’mridingarollercoasterofemotions.Thisisanotherthingtoaddtomylistof
worries,whichseemstobegettinglongerbytheminute.

Traviswasright;opportunitiesdosometimescomewhenleastexpected.Ineverinamillionyears

imaginedthatI’dbechosenoutofthethousandswhoapplyeachyear.Isubmittedanapplicationona
whim,andnow,asIstaredownattheivorypaperwiththeprecision-printedmessage,IrealizeImust
makeonethehardestdecisionsofmylife.Myentirefuturedependsonit.

CHAPTEREIGHT

TRAVIS

DayswhenViolaisatschoolandtutoringintheeveningssuckass,andIwishevenmoreIwas

abletooccupymyselfwithgoingtothegymorevengoingintowork.SinceI’mnotabletodoeither,
allthat’sleftareDrew’svideogames.

I’mnotusuallymuchofagamer,butifIhavenothingbettertodo,itfillsthetime.Hehasallthe

newestones,includingCallofDutyandMadden17,soI’vebeenswitchingbackandforthbetween
them.AfterWednesday’sclosecallwithDrewaskingaboutViola,Iknewwehadtostartbeingmore
carefulifweweregoingtopostponetellinghim.Myplanistogetusoutofthehousefinallybecause
GodknowsI’mgoingstircrazybeingherealldamnday,butalsobecauseIwanttotakeViolaonour
firstlunchdate.

Atexactly11:15,IhearthefrontdooropenandshutandViola’sfootstepsagainstthehardwood

floor.Herclassendsat11:00a.m.andshe’salwaysconsistentaboutbeingontime.It’soneofthe
dorkylittlequirksIloveabouther.

“Areyoulimping?”IaskherassoonasIseeher.
“Shutup.”Hermouthtwitchesasshetriestoholdherpout.“Leaveallyourcommentstoyourself,

please.”

She’sfeistierthanusualtoday,andIfuckingloveit.
“Dammit.Ihadareallygoodone,too.”Ismileasshetakesaspotnexttomeonthecouch.
Shelooksatmeandrollshereyes.
“Roughmorning?”
“No,I’mjustnotgettingalotofsleepthesedays.”Shegivesmeapointedlook.
“Meeither,somaybeweshouldjustsuffertogetherandsleepinthesamebed.”
“Tookyoulessthanfiveminutesthistime,huh?”Shesighs,takingthegamecontrollerfrommy

hand.

“Oh,itwould’vebeenlessthanaminutehadyounotbeenlimpinginherelikeyou’djustriddena

horse.”Igrin,despitehersideglare.

Shefinallycracksasmile,andmyentirebodylightsup.“Yousuckatthisgame,bytheway.”
IfocusmyattentionontheTV,whereshe’sdominating,whileIwasjustbarelygoingtosurviveto

thenextlevel.“Youareatruenerd,throughandthrough.”

“Anerdwhocouldkickyourass,”shefiresback,andI’mtemptedtothrowthatcontrolleroutof

herhandsandburymyfaceinherneck.

“Let’sjustseeaboutthat,”Ichallenge,grabbingtheothercontrollerofftheendtable.Shedoesn’t

playmucheither,soI’mmoderatelyoptimisticthatIcanbeather.

“Youwanttowager?”Theplayfultoneofhervoicemakesmesmile.It’sthefirsttimeallweek

I’veseenhervisiblyrelaxwithoutphysicallywearingheroutfirst.

“Wouldn’titbeeasiertosurrender,insteadofgoingthroughthehumiliationoflosingtoa

cripple?”

Shesnortsandwigglesherasstotheedgeofthesofa.“Don’tyoudareplaythecripplecard!”She

laughsasIaimandfireatheronthescreen.“Youhadmylegswrappedaroundyourshouldersasyou
nearlysplitmybodyinhalf,sodon’teventryit.”

Thememoriesfloodinandmydickgetshardjustthinkingaboutit.WhileI’mdistractedby

thoughtsofher,sheaimsandshootsdirectlyatme.

“Ha!”Shepumpsafistintheair.“You’resoeasy.”
Irubahandoverthestubbleofmyjawlineandlookintentlyather.“So,that’showwe’regoingto

play,huh?Youthinkalittledirtytalkisgoingtodistractme?”

“IthinkIjustprovedit,so...yeah.”Thesmugexpressiononherfacegivesmelife,butIwon’t

admitthattoherrightnow.I’llplaybyherrulesifthat’showshewantstoplaythegame.

Tossingtheremotedownonthecouch,Ibringmyfingersdowntothebottomofmyshirtandlift

itovermyhead.Sheglancesoveratme,eyeingthetattoosonmychestandarms,openinghermouth,
butdoesn’tsayanything,andthenquicklyforcesherlipsintoafirmline.

“I’mnottheonlyeasyone,princess.”Iwink,andshescoffs,turningaway.Ilaughatherdenial

becauseIknowit’sdrivingherinsane.

Ifinallywinaround,andinsteadoftellingmeoff,shemimicsmymovesandsetshercontroller

downbeforeliftinghershirtoverherhead.She’swearingatinylittlecamisole,andIcanseeherhard
nipplesatattentionrightunderthefabric.

Istaysilent,refusingtoadmitI’mmuchmoreinterestedinsuckingonhertitsthanplayingthis

game.Beforestartingherturn,shegrabsthehairtiefromherwristandpullsherhairup,exposing
herneckandchest.Fuckinghell.

Exceptshedoesn’tstopthere.Onceherhairistiedup,shegrabshercontrolleranddragsitdown

withhertothefloorassheliesonherstomach.Shebendsherkneesandperksherassupasshe
shufflesherlegsbackandforthintheair.

So,thisishowshewantstoplayit...gameon,princess.
However,beforemytranceisbroken,she’smanagedtoblowmeupandbeginsgigglingabout

howherplantodistractmeisworking.Beforeshecanhumiliatemeagain,Itakemattersintomy
handsandlowermyselftothefloorbehindher,lockingmykneesaroundherthighs.

“Whatdoyouthinkyou’redoing?”sheasks,lookingoverhershoulder.
“Youdidn’treallythinkyourevillittleplanwasgoingtowork,didyou?”
“Idon’tknow.Youtellme.”Shewigglesherassagainstmythigh,whichdoesn’thelpeasethe

pulsatinginmycock.

She’swearingshorts,whichgivesmeanadvantage,soIslidemypalmuphershortsandcupher

asscheekoverhercottonpanties.ShesquealsandIsqueezeitagain.

“That’scheating!”Shetriespushingmyhandaway,butIbarelyflinchathermovements.“No

touchingallowed!”

“Ididn’tagreetothat,princess.”Ipressthepadofmythumbagainstherpussyandcirclethe

fabricofherpanties.“Youwantedtoplay,remember?”

Aloudboomechoesfromthescreen,butI’mnolongerinterestedinthewarthat’sgoingon.I

planonengaginginadifferentgame.

“Well,I’mnotgoingtoplaybymyself,sopickupyourdamncontroller!”shedemands,andI

smileatherbossyside.

“Icanplayone-handed,”Ismirk,eventhoughshecan’tseeme.Igiveinandshootafewrounds,

pretendingtogiveashitaboutthegameinfrontofuswhenI’dmuchratherplaywithwhat’sinside
hershortsinstead.

“Stopit!”Sheswatsmyhand,laughingasshetriestokeephereyesontheTV.“IfI’mgoingto

kickyourass,Iwanttodoitfairandsquare.”

Tossingthecontrollerbackontothesofa,Iundothetopbuttonofmyjeansandthenunzipjustas

fast.“Whenhaveyoueverwantedtoplayfairandsquare?”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?Ialwaysplayfair.”Thetoneinhervoicedoesnothingtoconvince

me,andIcanseethecornerofherlipstiltupwhensheglancesbackatme.

Islideafingerinsideherpantiesandfindheralreadywetandaroused.Iknowshewantsitas

badlyasIdo.TheneedtohaveherincreaseseverytimeIseeher,whichisn’tsomethingI’musedto.I
neverwantedmorewithagirlbefore,butViolamakesmewantallthedaysandnightswithher,and
eventhen,itwouldn’tbeenough.

“Travis...”shewarns,butherbodyshiversagainstmine,givingheraway.
Watchingher,Icantellshe’sdistractedandevenmoreso,shelikesthedistractions.Herfingers

arenolongermovingalongthecontroller,andherneckhasgoneweak,fallingbetweenher
shouldersasIslidemyfingerinsideher.

IcanhearherarousalasIslideinandout,buildingherupuntilshe’salmostlostallcontrol.Just

beforesheclampsherpussyaroundmyfingers,Igrabmycontrolleroffthecouchandfirerightat
her.Theechoingofthegunshotswhipsherheadbackupasthescreenfillswithblood.She’sdead.

“Youasshole!”shescreeches,pickingthecontrollerbackup.“Youtotallydidthatonpurpose.”

Shelooksoverhershoulderandpincheshereyestight.

Isuckonmyfingersthattasteofherandsmile.“Andyoufellforit,princess.”
“Allright,soit’sgoingtobelikethat.”Sheturnsaround,stillonherknees.Iwatchasshedrops

herhandstomyjeansthatarealreadyundone.“Lookslikeyouweregettingreadyforme.”

“I’malwaysreadyforyou.”Iflashaslygrinandplacemyhandsonmyhips.
“Thisiswhathappenswhenyoutellasexaddicttorestandnothaveanyphysicalactivityforsix

weeks.”Sherollshereyesatmeasshepalmsmycockthroughmyshorts.

“Yougetrebelliousbehavior?”
“Somethinglikethat.”Shelaughs.
Sheslidesherhandinsidemyshortsandbeginsstrokingmycock.Hereyesstayfocusedonmine

assherubsthelengthofmyshaftwithonehandandcirclesherpalmaroundthetip.She’sworking
meintoafrenzy,andI’mnotsurehowmuchlongerIcanholdback.Iwanttoflipherover,pullher
hipsupuntilherperkyassisintheair,andfuckheruntilwe’rebothstingingwithcarpetburn.

Ileandownandcupherface,pullingherlipstomineasshecontinuesstrokingme.Myotherhand

pullsdownhercamisoleandbrauntilherbreastisinmypalm.Shemoansinmymouth,andI
squeezeherbreast,wantingeveryitemofclothingbetweenusgone.

Shefidgetswiththebuttonofherjeanshortsuntilshe’sabletounzipandpullthemdowntoher

knees.Myhandslidesdownherbackandcupsherasscheek,pullingherfleshagainstmine.Sherubs
thelengthofmycockinbetweenherlegs,againstthepantiesthatarebecominganannoyance.Ineed
themgone.

Mymouthlandsonherneck,andIsuckjustunderherear,featheringkissesallthewaydownto

hercollarbone.Shehumsinresponse,andIcanfeelherbodyheatingup.

Shewrapsahandaroundmyneckandpullsmedownuntilherlipsarepressedtomyear.“I’ve

imaginedyoufuckingmeonthiscouchforyears.”Herwordsvibrateagainsttheshellofmyear,and
I’mabouttwosecondsawayfromexplodinginherhand.

“Goddammit,youcan’tsayshitlikethat,”Ihiss,fightingeveryurgetobendherassoverthe

couchlikeshe’sbeggingfor.Iwantmorethananythingtoburymyselfinsideher,butIknowshe’s
stillplayingsometwistedmindgamewithme.

“Andwhy’sthat?”Shelooksupatme,herlipsinapout.“Youdon’twantmeanymore?”
“Don’tbefuckingcrazynow,”Isay,knowingherangle.
“Thenwhatisit?”sheasksasshepullshercamisoleoverherheadandtossesit.Mydickrises

highertoattentionasIwatchherwrapherarmsaroundherbackandunclaspherbra.

Iswallow,decidingthatIdon’tcarewhatherangleisanymore;Ifuckingneedher.

“Givemeyourcontroller,”Isay,reachingaroundher,butshestopsme.
“Noway.”Sheblocksmyhandagain.“I’mnotsurrendering.”
Itiltmyheadatherwithaknowingsmirk.“So,beingacockteaseisyourangle?”
“Iworkwithmyadvantages.”Shegrins,pushingherchestout.
Narrowingmyeyesather,Itrytothinkthroughmynextmove.Idon’tgivetwoshitsaboutthe

damnvideogame,butIdecidetoplayherlittlegame.Shewantstoplayhardtoget;I’mthefucking
championatthatsport.

Withoutgivingheranyindicationbeforehand,Igrabherhipsandflipheroverbeforeshehasa

chancetostopme.Herchestpressesagainstthecarpet,andIlayontopofher,keepingherundermy
control.

“Dammit,Travis!”Shesquirms,archingherhipsofftheground,butIpressmyhardbodyinto

hers,andshebarelybudges.“You’resuchadamncheater.”

Iplaceakisstoherneckandsmile.“Youaren’ttheonlyonewhoworkswiththeiradvantages.”
“Musclesornot,I’mstillgoingtokickyourassatthisgame.”Shegrabshercontroller,andI

grabmine.She’snotgoingtogiveupuntilthegameisover.

Istraddleherwithmykneesonbothsidesofher,carefullyadjustingmyweight,soIdon’tcrush

her,butjustenoughtomakesureshedoesn’ttryanymoretricks.

Unabletopayattention,she’scompletelykickingmyass.EverytimeIaimfireather,sheseesme

firstandshoots.She’sgiggling,andwigglingherassunderneathme,temptingallthewillpowerI
haveleft.

Knowingverywellshe’sgoingtobeatmebeforethegameisevenover,IdecideI’dmuchrather

winatourotherlittlegame.Isetmycontrollerasideandslidemyshortsallthewaydown.Hercotton
pantiesarenext.Hercurvyassisperfection,andIslapitoncebeforeslidingafingerbackinsideher.

Shestayscompletelysilent,notgivinganythingaway.Icantellshe’stryingtofightit,butinabout

tenseconds,shewon’tbeabletofightanything.

Ashardasitis,she’stryingtofocusonthevideogame,pretendingshe’snotaffectedbymeatall,

butit’salostcause.I’mabouttomakeherforgethername.Ipressthetipofmycockagainstherass.
ShearchesherhipsjustenoughsoIcanspreadhercheeksandslideinsideher.

Ihearherbreathhitchassheslowshermovementsonthegamecontroller.Shearchesherhips

again,lettingmesinkevendeeper.Herpussyclampsaroundme,andIwastenotimeforminga
rhythm.Shefinallydropsthatdamncontroller,soItakefulladvantage,grabbingminejustintimeto
fireshotsatherwhileshe’sotherwiseoccupied.

Withhercheekpressedagainstthecarpet,shemurmurs,“Youdirtyasshole.”
Ismileandtossthecontroller,wrappingahandaroundherthroatandwhisperinginherear,

“WhatdidIsayaboutplayinggameswiththeking,princess?”Idragthetipofmytonguealongher
earanddownherneck.“I’mabouttoteachyouaroyallesson.”

VIOLA

Iforgotwhatitwasliketobeinanewrelationshipwiththeall-consuming,desperatetobenear

oneanother,sex24/7feeling.

InalmosteveryromancenovelI’veread,thecouplegoesthroughacycleofnonstopsexwhile

waitingtogettoknoweachotherafterthefact.I’mnotopposedtothenonstopsexonebit,butI’ve
knownTravisforthelasttenyears.Ialreadyknowhimandtrusthimwitheverybeatofmyheart.I’ve
hadmydoubtssincethiswholethingbegan,buteverysingledayheprovesmewrong,andIfall
deeperanddeeper.

AndIneverwantthatfeelingtogoaway.Ever.
ButwhatweighsonmymindisfinallytellingDrewaboutus,andwhat’sgoingtohappenafter

graduation.I’maworrierbynature,soit’snoteasytorelaxaboutthingsthatbotherme,butIgetlost
everytimeTravisandIaretogether.Mymindblocksoutthenegative,andmybodybegsforhis
touch.

Itneverfeelslikeenough.
Oncemyhandsareblotchyandstingingfromcarpetburn,TravisandIlaytangledtogetheronthe

floor.Hekeptmebentover,rockingbackandforthinsidemeasIclenchedmyfingersunderneath
me.HewrappedanarmaroundmywaistandrubbedmyclituntilIcouldnolongertakeit.Hisother
handgrabbedmybreastasIscreamedouthisnameandhecameinsideme.

“Iwonderifcumstainscarpet.”
Hechuckles.“Iwasjustabouttoaskwhatyouwerethinkingabout,butmaybeIdon’twantto

know.”

Iplayfullypatahandoverhisflawlessabs.“It’savalidconcern.”
“Oh,definitely.”IhearhiscondescendingtoneandknowhethinksI’mbeingcrazy.
“I’mgoingtoGoogleit,”Isay,tryingtositup,buthepullsmebackdown.
“Youareseriouslythebiggestnerd.”Hewrapshisarmaroundmeagainandkissesthetopofmy

nose.“I’lltakecareofit,okay?IthinkIhavealittlemoreexperienceinthatareathanyou.”

Irollmyeyesathimandsigh.“Fine.”
Welayinsilenceforashortmoment,untilmystomachbeginsgrowlingandIrealizeIhaven’t

eatensincebeforeclassthismorning.

“That’sit,”hesays,pullingusbothup.“Youneedfuel.”
“Icanmakesomething,”Ioffer,reachingformybraandshirt.“Icanmakeagrilledcheeseand

soupifyouwant.”

Hegrabsmyhandandplacesasweetkissonit.“No.Nottoday,princess.”
“Oh?”Iraisemybrows.“Areyougoingtocookformethen?”
“Evenbetter.”Heplacesanotherquickkiss.“Today,I’mtakingyouout.Getdressed.”
“Wait,”Isay,followinghisleadandstandingup.“Likeout,out?”
“Yeah.You’remygirl,andIwanttotakeyououtforlunch.Youokaywiththat?”Hislipscurve

intoadevilishgrin,knowingexactlywhathiswordsdotome.

Ipinchmylips,fightingtheurgetoplasterabig,cheesygrinovermyface.Travisdoesn’tdo

dates—ever.Eveninhighschool,hishookupsnevergottheroyaltreatmentthatIknowhe’skept
exclusivelyforme.

“Okay.”Ismile.
Webothredressandcleanourselvesbackup.Myhairlookslikeitwentthroughthedryerandmy

makeupissmudgedallthewaydowntomyneck.IwatchasTravissplasheswateroverhisfaceand
gargleswithsomemouthwash.Webothstandinthebathroom,gettingreadylikewe’resomeold
couplethat’sbeensharingabathroomforfiftyyears.It’snice.Comforting.

Hewincesashepullshisshirtbackon,andthat’swhenInoticethebruiseonhischestisstilldark.
“Itlooksprettydarkstill,”Isay,facinghimsoIcananalyzeitbetter.
“Itdoesn’thurt,princess,”heanswersasifhe’sreadingmymind.“JustalittlesorewhenIraise

myarmsup,butotherthanthat,it’smanageable.”

“Areyoutakingthepainmeds?”
“Onlyatnight,butIdon’tplanonrefillingthemeither.Ihaveafollow-upappointmentnextweek,

andthey’llprobablygivemesomethingthatisn’tsostrongifIneedit.”

“Youwerelucky,”Isay,rubbingahandoverthefabricoftheshirt.“Probablyitwasallthose

bulkymusclesthatprotectedyoufromfurtherinternalinjuries.”

“Yousaythatlikeit’sabadthing.”
Ismileupathim.“It’snot.Justthattheycouldcrushmeinasecond,soI’msuretheyactedlikea

littleextrapaddingduringtheaccident.”

“It’spossible.I’msureifIweresomescrawnyrunt,Iwould’vesnappedinhalf.”
“Iknowthatfeeling,”Ideadpan,hidingaknowingsmirk.
Heleansdownandkissesmesoftly.“Sorryaboutthat.”
“I’msure.”Ismileagain,andIfeellikemycheeksaregoingtoswellfromallthedamnsmiling

I’vebeendoingthisweek.“Allright,King.Feedyourwoman.”

“Leadtheway,mylady,”hesays,followingmedownthehall.SinceTravis’carwastotaled,and

hehasn’tbotheredtorentonesincehe’slaidup,wehavetotakemine.

“Letmedrive,”hesaysaswewalkouttomycar,holdinghishandout.
Igivehimalook,pullingthekeysbackoutofhisreach.“Idon’tknowthatIshouldtrustyouwith

Tatum.”

“Tatum?YounamedyourcarTatum?”
Iputmyhandsonmyhipsandnarrowmyeyesathim.“Yes,ChanningTatum.Doyouhavea

problemwiththat?”

“Depends.Doyouhaveanameforallyourfavoritethings?”heasksaswecontinuewalking.
Irollmyeyes,knowingwherehe’sgoingwiththis.“Letmeguess.Youthinkallgirlsnametheir

titsMary-KateandAshley.”

“Iwasgoingtosayshoes,butifyounameyourtits,wehavetotalkaboutthis.”
Ithrowhimmykeysandwalktothepassengerside.“Hereyougo,JustinTimberlake.Don’tcrash

it.”Iflashafakesmilehiswayjusttopushhisbuttonsevenmore.

Aswedrivetotherestaurant,Travis’phoneringsandIseeDrew’snameflashacrossitbeforehe

picksitup.Heturnsthemusicdownandanswersitafterthesecondring.

“Hey,man.What’sup?”
Theychatforaminutebeforeheglancesoverandlooksatme.Ican’ttellwhatthey’retalking

about,butitgivesmeafunnyfeeling.

“Okay,soundsgood.So,thebothofyouwouldgothen?”heasks,glancingoveratmeagain,and

thistimeIfurrowmybrowsinconfusion.Whatthehellcouldhebetalkingabout?

“Nah,I’llbefine.Feelinggoodasnewalready.”Theyexchangedonceagainbeforehesays

goodbyeandhangsup.

“Well?”Iask,anxioustoknowwhatDrewsaid.
“Apparently,youtwoareheadinghomethisweekend.”
“What?Why?”Thisisnewstome.
“YourmomcalledDrewandsaidshewantedthebothofyoutocometomorrowandstaythe

night.”

“Whatfor?”Ihaven’tsleptinthesamehouseasmymotherinalmostfouryears.Iloveher,but

wedon’thavemuchincommonanymore.

“I’mnotreallysure.Hedidn’tknowspecifics.”Helooksoveratme,concernwritteninhis

expressionashetriestoreadmine.

“Whydon’tyouaskDrewifyoucantagalong?Tellhimyou’llbeboredorsomething.”Ireally

don’twanttogowithouthim.

“Youjustwantmeasyoursecretsextoy,don’tyou?”Hegrins,andIwanttosmackthatsmile

rightoffhiscockyface.

“NowIrememberwhyIhatedyousomuch,”Itease.Icheckmyphoneforanymessagesfrommy

momorDrew,andtherearenone.Whythehelldidn’tshecallme?Whydidn’the?

“Hateisreallythesisteroflove,”heretorts,flashingamockinggrin.

“Hateisalsothecousinofmurder,”Ifireback.Hisheadfallsbackwithlaughterasheshakeshis

headatme.“Goodtoknowsexdoesn’tfilteryoursenseofhumor.”

“No,justmytoleranceforassholes.”
Hepressesahandtohischest.“Ow.Thatonehurt.”
Irollmyeyesandsmile.
Wefinallyarriveatacharminglittlecaféforlunch.I’msohungrythatIwarnTravisthatImight

ordertheentiremenu.Hegrabsmyhandaswewalkinside,andforthefirsttime,itfeelslikeTravis
andIarearealcouple,outingourselvestotheworldandgoingonadate.Althoughit’sjustlunch,it’s
ahugestepforus.

Nowallwehavetodoistellthepersonclosesttousbothandhopehedoesn’twanttokillus

together.

AfterlunchanddroppingTravisoffatthehouse,IdrivebacktoschoolandcallDrewonmyway.

Ineedtoknowwhatthehellisgoingonorit’sgoingtoeatatmetherestofthenight.

“Hey,Iwasjustgoingtocallyou,”heanswers.
“Oh?Whatabout?”Hecan’tknowthatTravisalreadytoldme,soIplaydumb.
“Momwantsustocomethisweekendandstayovernight.Itoldherwe’dbethereforlunch

tomorrow,sopackabag,andI’llcomepickyouuparoundten.”

“Don’tIgetachoice?”Iadd.“Didshesaywhatthehellfor?”
“No,nothingspecific.Andno,ifIhavetosuffer,sodoyou.”
Igroan.WoulditmakemesoundlikeabratifIdidn’twanttogo?ButIdon’twanttodisappoint

mymom,soreluctantlyIagree.

Afterhangingup,Iheadtoclassandimmediatelyafter,Iheadbacktomydormandpackan

overnightbag.ImakesuretobringafewextrabooksjustincaseandstoretheminmyfavoriteBook
Beausleeves.ItextTravisbeforecrawlingintobed,andtellhimhowmuchI’llmisshim.Ialsomake
suretoremindhimoftheleftoverChinesefoodinthefridgethatDrewbroughthome,sohedoesn’t
gohungry.

Andofcourse,beingthecockybastardthatheis,respondswithasmartasscomment.

T:Don’tforgettotalkshitaboutmeallweekend,otherwiseDrewmightgetsuspicious.

V:Shouldn’tbetoohard.Beendoingitforthepasttenyears:)

T:So,youhavelotsofpracticethen.Butmaybejustslipinalittlementionabouthowbigyou
thinkmydickis.

V:Notasbigasyouregoapparently!

T:Youcan’thelpbutlovebothqualitiesaboutmethough;)

Ilaughtomyself,knowinghe’srightaboutthat.
ItexthimonelastgoodnighttextbeforegrabbingmyKindleandfallingasleep.

Ihearnoisescomingfromoutsidemydoor,whichmeansmyroommatesareupandhaveabsolutely
noconsiderationforanyoneelseinthehouse.Rollingover,Igrabmyphoneandseeacollectionof
textmessagesfromTravis.

Top5reasonsyouhavethebestboyfriendintheworld...

#1.You’llalwayslookgoodonmyarm(myverymusculararm,ofcourse).

#2.I’llalwaysletyoueatthelastFrenchfryoffmyplateevenifyoudiptheminmayoandit’s
thegrossestthingever.

Ichuckleatthesecondone,rememberingwhenwewerekidsthathealwayssharedhisfrieswith

mebecauseIalwaysranoutbeforeeveryoneelse.

#3.I’llalwaysletyoubethefirsttocountto5—you’rewelcome.

#4.EventhoughI’dneveradmititpublicly,I’llwatchyourcheesychickflickswithyou(mostly
becauseIhopeitendswithyouunderneathme).

IlaughatthememoryofuswatchingBridgetJones’Diary.

#5.I’lleatyourpussyforbreakfast,lunch,ordinner(actuallyall3becauseI’magreedy
bastard).

Byhislasttext,I’mblushinglikehellandgigglingallatthesametime.Itstilldoesn’tfeelreal.I

decidetoreturnthefavorandtexthimbackbeforeIhavetogetreadyandleave.

Top5reasonsyouhavethebestgirlfriendintheworld...
#1-5.Sheputsupwithyourshit.
Bonusreason:Mary-KateandAshley(you’rewelcome).

Ismileproudlyandfinallygetuptotakeashower.OnceI’mdressedandmyhairisbrushed,I

headouttothekitchenwheremyroommatesareallhoveringoverthecoffeepotasifit’sgoingto
spewoutmilliondollarbillsatanymoment.

“Whoisthisstranger?”Ashleyaskswithasmile.
“Ithinksheliveshere,”Kateadds.
“Wehaven’tseenyouinyears,”Kaylaexclaimsinanoverly-dramatictone.
IrollmyeyesasIdropmybagontopofthetable.
“You’realldramaqueens,”Ifireback.“Andfortherecord,Idolivehere,inbetweenstudying

andtryingtogetsomesleep.”

“Andgettinglaid,”Kaylaquips.Herlightbrownhairistwistedupintoamessybun,andher

makeupisstillonfromthenightbefore.Wehaven’thungoutalotthissemester,butwe’veknown
eachotherforthepastcoupleofyears.She’susuallythequietone,too,sothefactthatshe’stheoneto
mentionthatmakesmesuspiciousofwhatthey’reallthinking.

Ifurrowmybrows,actingconfused.“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”Ipretendtolook

forsomethinginmybag,butIknowtheycanseerightthroughme.

“Youhaveitwrittenalloveryou,girlfriend,”Ashleyspeaksup.“You’regoneforlunchalmost

everyday;you’redistractedwhenyouactuallyarehere,orrather,whenyouaren’tlockedupinyour
room,andyouhaven’tbeenabletowipethatstupidgiddysmileoffyourfaceforthepastweek.”

“So,thatautomaticallymeansI’mgettinglaid?”
“Yes,”theyallsayinunison,andIblush,becausedammit,Iwastryingsohardnottobethatgirl.

“Well,I’mpleadingthefifth.”Igrabmybagandtossitovermyshoulder.“I’mheadinghomefor

theweekend,though,sothatmeansIwon’tbebackuntiltomorrow.”

“Didsomeonedie?”Kate’squestioncatchesmeoffguard.
“No,why?”
“Ican’trememberthelasttimeyouwenthomefortheweekend.”
Ishrug,knowingshe’sright,butnotwantingtogetintothedetailsofit.
“DrewandIarejustgoingforashortvisit;that’sall.”
“Oh,you’regoingwithyourbrother?”Kayla’svoicesuddenlyincreasesanoctave.Seriously?

WhydoallmyfriendswantinsideDrew’spants?

“Yes,andunfortunately,he’sgoingtotorturemewithallthedetailsofhimandhislame

girlfriend.”Iwishhewouldn’t.

“He’sstilldatingthatsamegirlhemetlastsummer?”sheasks.
Ishruglightly,notsurewhat’sgoingonbetweenthematthemoment.“Onandoff,soI’mnot

certain,butIknowDrew’scrazyabouther.”Godonlyknowswhy.

“Well,tellhimhiforme!”
“Uh,sure!”Islidemyshoesonandheadtowardthedoor,wavingtotherestofthem.“Bye,guys!”
IseeatextfromDrewfilterinandIquicklyreadit.

D:Betherein5.Yourassbetterbeready.

IrollmyeyesandscoffathisassumptionthatIwouldn’tbe.

V:I’vebeenwaitingforoverahalfanhour.YourassbetterhaveStarbucksandablueberry
muffin.

Imight’vebentthetruthabit,buthedoesn’thavetoknowthat.IseeTravismessagedmebackas

well.

T:TobefairtoMary-KateandAshley,Ithinktheyshouldbe#1-5onyourlist.Theydowork
reallyhardonbeingfirm,perky,andalwaysmakesuretheirnipplesareatattentionwhenI’m
around.Nottomention,theyhavethissuperpowerwayofcommunicatingtomydickanytime
they’relookingforsomeextraattention.Ithinkthat’salegitskill.

V:You’reridiculous.P.S.Don’tactsosurprisedatallmymarveloustalents.Mypussyhas
magicalpowers,too.

T:Wonderful.NowI’mhard.

Ilaughjustthinkingabouthowheprobablyreallyishard.

V:Toldyou.Magicalpowers.
T:WellifyouwantsomeREALdickpicsthisweekend,justletmeknow:)

Smiling,Irespond.
V:Why?Youknowagoodpornsite?
T:Don’ttemptme,princess...
V:Andwhatfunwouldthatbe?
Drewpullsupinhisjacked-uptruckjustasIhitsend,soIstuffmyphoneintomypocket.

CHAPTERNINE

TRAVIS

I’mactuallystartingtoenjoywakinguptonoalarm.Ashardasitis,ItrynottotextViolawhileshe’s
withDrew.Thelessdistractedsheis,thebetter,becauseherbodygivesheraway,andwecan’tbe
havingthat.AndthefactthatDrewisaroundandVioladoesn’tlockherphoneevermakesitalittle
dangerous.

Mycellvibratesinmypocket,andIpullitoutandseemymother ’spictureflashacrossthe

screen.Quickly,Ianswer.

“Iwasthinkingaboutdrivingovertodaytovisityou.Wanttogooutforlunch?”
“Yeah,Mom,sure.I’dlovetoseeyou.”Ilookaroundatthemini-disasterthehouseisinandcan’t

helpbutglanceatthespotwhereViolaandIchristenedthefloor.Itwasafirstforme,too.

Anhourlater,Idecidetogetdressed.I’msurethewholeJustinBieberwifebeaterandbaggy

joggingpantslookwithmessyasshairwouldn’tbeacceptable.Iatleasthavetotrytolook
presentableformymother.WhenIhearacardoorshut,Icheckthepeephole.Beforeshecanknock,I
openthedoorandpullherintoahug.

“Oh,son!Yourface.”
Ismile.“Youshouldseetheotherguy.”
“Iwasworriedaboutyou.Istoppedbythehospital.”
“Iknow,Iknow.I’mfine.”
Ilockupthehouse,andthenwedrivetoadeliacrosstownthatsheloves.Apparently,theyserve

thebestchickensaladinallofCalifornia,orsoshesays.Onceweorder,Ifillherinoneverything
that’sbeengoingonsincetheaccident.

“So,yourcar?”Shetakesasipofwater.
“Totaled.”Ihaven’tthoughtaboutittoomuch.NextweekI’llhavetostarttakingcareofbusiness.

ThatcarwasthefirstexpensivethingIboughtmyselfafterIstartedworkingatCrawfordMarketing.

“Iknowhowlongyousavedforit,”shesays,lookingalittlesad.
“Fullcoverageisamazing.I’llgetanotherone.Butwithheatedseatsanddarkertint.”Ilaugh,

tryingtolightenthemood.

“How’sthejob?”She’saskingtheusualquestionstofilltime.
Afterourfoodarrives,shetakesabiteofhersandwich.Ipickatmysalad,butI’mnothungry,as

usual.

“I’mwaitingtobeclearedtogobacktowork.Ihaveafollow-upappointmentnextweek.”
“Theystillgivingyouahardtime?”
Igiveheralookthattellshereverythingshewantstoknow.
Sheshakesherhead.“Rememberwhenyoutalkedaboutstartingyourownbusiness?Thatwas

yourdreamforsolong,Travis.”

Mymindtemporarilywanders.“Yeah,Ido.”
“Haveyougivenitanymorethought?”
“Sometimes.ButonlywhenI’mhavingasupershittydayatwork.”

Shegivesmealookoncethecursewordleavesmymouth.
“Sorry,butyouknowwhatImean,Mom.Theycanbeso...corporate.”
Wesitinsilenceforamoment.“So,what’sholdingyouback?”
Ihaven’tthoughtaboutitinawhile.Itjustdoesn’tseemfeasible,consideringIhaveagreatjob

thatpaysmewell.MostpeopleinmyclasswouldhavediedtolandthejobIdidsosoonafter
graduation.Overathousandpeopleappliedformyposition.Iwastheliteralneedleinthehaystack.
ButIwouldbelyingifIsaidIhaven’tthoughtaboutit.SometimesIlookatthepeoplethathavebeen
thereforoverthirtyyearsandpraythatI’mnotlookingintothefuture.Thatthoughtisfucking
frightening.

“Therisk,”Isayafterthinkingaboutitalittlelonger.
Momlaughs.Herwholefacelightsup,andIrealizehowmuchI’vemissedher.“Andweboth

knowyou’rearisktaker.So,what’stherealreason?”

“Start-upcosts,Iguess.Iwouldn’tknowwheretobegin,anditseemslikealotofwork.WhatifI

fail?”

“Andthat’sexactlyhowdreamsdie.Fundingisn’tanissue,okay?I’vegotsomemoneyputaside

thatIwouldbehappytoloanyou.AndIknowhowmuchyousave.Tellmethis,haveyoueverfailed
atanythingthatyou’vereallywantedinlife?”

I’mnotsurehowwegotonthissubject.“Mom,Icouldnevertakeyourmoney.You’resupposed

tousethattogetaway.”

Thelaughlinesalongwiththestressthatshe’senduredovertheyearsareonherface.Mymother

ismyhero.She’sstrongerthananyoneI’veevermet,andmyheartconstantlybreaksforher.Butshe
won’tleave.AsmuchasIbeg,shewon’t.I’veofferedtopayforanapartmentforher.I’vetried
everythingovertheyears.Butshe’sjustasstubbornasIam.Noticingmyreactionandsadness,she
givesmeasweetsmile.

“Everythingisokay.Sinceyourdad’sbeensick,thingshavechanged.”
Itakeadrinkofwater.He’sbeensickforawhilenow.Lotsoftestingtotrytofigureoutwhatthe

issueis,butIdon’twanttotalkabouthim,andsheknowsthat.

“He’snotdoingwell,honey.Lastweek,wereceivedhistestresults.Hehasaprettyaggressive

formofcancer.”Hervoicedropslow,almosttoawhisper.

It’sthefirsttimeI’veheardthis,andforamomentitcatchesmeoffguard.Cancer?Idon’teven

havethewordstoexplainhowthismakesmefeel.Thisiswhyshewantedtohavelunchbecausea
conversationlikethisisn’toneyouhaveoverthephone.Allthepiecesofthepuzzlebegintofit
together.

“Idon’tcare.”IknowI’mbeingharshandstubborn.
Knowingbetter,shegivesmealook.Thoughhe’snotmyfavoritepersonintheworld,Iwould

neverwishcanceronhim.

“You’remorecompassionatethanthat.Andwhetheryouwanttoadmititornot,yourfatherisa

partofyou.Whenhe’sgone,Idon’twantyoutoregretnotseeinghim.”

“Ilefthomeforareason.”Mybodytensesandmyresponsesareshort.Ijustwanttochangethe

subjectwhileIprocessitall.

“Iknow,Iknow.I’msorry.I’mjustworriedaboutyouandhim,andit’salotforme.Idon’twant

youtoregretanythinginyourlife.There’salotofthingsIwishIwouldhavedonedifferentlyand
didn’t.Idon’twantthesameforyou.Don’tallowyourinternalangertostopyoufromseeingyour
fatherwhilehe’sstillalive.Ifanymanonthisearthhasregrets,it’shim.Heknowswhathe’sdone.”A
singletearstreamsdownhercheek.Shewipesitwithhernapkinthenrecomposesherself.Mymother
ispracticallyunbreakable.

Igrabherhandacrossthetable.“Mom.”

Shelooksupatme,andIsqueezeherhandjustalittleharder.“I’msorry.I’malwaysherefor

you.”

“You’remyrock,Travis.Alwayssostrongandbrave.Iloveyou.”
“Iloveyoutoo,mom.”
Weleavetherestaurantandlistentooldiesontheradioonthewaybacktothehouse.Myphone

dingsandIsmilewhenIseeViola’sname.

V:Pleasesaveme.DrewissingingBritneySpears.Thisisthelongest,mosttorturousride

homeever.

IsmileasItypeoutaresponse.

T:Well,I’maSLAVEFORYOU,baby,eventhoughyou’reTOXIC,IwasBORNTOMAKE
YOUHAPPY.

V:YOUDRIVEMECRAZY!

T:I’MNOTAGIRL,NOTYETAWOMAN!

V:Thatactuallymakesalotmoresensenow.

T:Don’tgetcocky.

IchuckleatourBritneySpearsreferencesandglancebackupwhenMompullsintothedriveway,

andIreachoverandgiveherahug.

“TellDrewandViolaIsaidhello.”
“Iwill.”
“Takecareofthatgirl,Travis.”
“Huh?”I’mconfused.
“Viola.Iknowyoutwoareseeingeachother.”
Igiveheralook.There’snowayshecouldknowthis.Orcouldshe?
“Mother'sintuition.Mothersalwaysknow.”
Ismile,notdenyingit,andgetoutofthecar.Istandinthedrivewaywithmyarmsacrossmy

chest,andasshebacksoutofthedriveway,Iwave.Momthinksshe’ssly,butsomeonesheknows
musthaveseenustogetherwhenwehadlunch.Itrytothinkbacktothatmoment,butallIcan
rememberisViola’sface.

Iplopdownonthecouch,tryingtofocus.Myfatherhascancer.It’salottotakein,andso

unexpected.GuiltsweepsovermeforreactingthewayIdid,andItrynottogetwrappedupinthe
thoughtofit.Nextweek,I’llcallMomandaskmorequestions.I’llbethereforher.Ihaveto.

Oncetheafternoonlagkicksin,Imakesomecoffeeandsitonthecouchandmindlesslyflip

throughchannels.Ileanbackandpropupmyfeet.BeforeIfallasleep,myphonevibratesinmy
pocket.Ipullitoutandswipeitopen.

It’satextmessagefrom...Mia.
M:Travis?Isthisstillyournumber?
I’mhalftemptednottoreplyorsayno.ButasimpleconfirmationfromDrewwouldruinthat.
T:What’sup?
I’mnotinterestedinwhatshehastosay,andI’malittlepissedthatshehastheaudacitytotextme.
M:Pleasedon’ttellDrewwhathappened.
Ireadthetextoverandoveragainanddon’trealizeI’mclenchingmyjawuntilIhearmyteeth

grindingagainsteachother.

T:Nothinghappened.
M:Good.I’mgladwe’reonthesamepagethen.
Hertextcatchesmeoffguard.Samepage?No,we’refuckingnot.We’renotevenreadingoutof

thesamebook.

T:Whatareyouplayingat?Thisisn’tafuckinggame,Mia.
Sheinstantlytextsback.
M:;)
I’mhalf-temptedtothrowmyphoneacrosstheroom,buttheonlypersonthatwouldaffectisme.

Myangerisseepingout,justlikemyfather ’shadsomanytimesovertheyears.Control.Ineedto
findit—fast.

InsteadoftextingherbackandsayingexactlywhatIthinkabouther,Itakethehigherroadand

ignoreit.She’sbeingabitch.She’sactingout.AndassoonasIfindtherighttimetospeaktoDrew,
I’mgoingtotellhimexactlywhathappenedthenightoftheaccident,whetherhewantstohearitor
not,becausehedeservestoknow.

VIOLA

TherewasnolegitreasonforDrewandmetovisitMomthisweekend.Shejustwantedtoseeher

kidsandmentionedthepossibilityofmovingclosertothebeach.Therewasnoemergency,nodeath,
nowedding,orbirthannouncement.ItwasMombeingquirky,likealways.IswearifPhoebeon
Friendswereanactualperson,shewouldbemymother.Onthewayover,DrewandImadeupso
manydifferentscenariosthatwebegantakingbetsonwhyweweresummoned.Needlesstosay,Iwon
tendollarsthatIwillgladlybecashingin.

Sundaymorning,Ilaidinbedforalongtimebeforegoingintothelivingroom.Icouldhear

LarryandDrewtalkingaboutfootball,andI’drathernot.AssoonasIwoke,it’slikeTravisknewand
textedme.

T:Ineedyoutohurryhome.
V:Gotanitchthatneedsscratching?Ilaugh,thinkingaboutwherewewereandwherewe’reat

now.

T:Somethinglikethat.Andweneedtotalk.
Idon’ttypeforawhile.Whatdoesthatmean,exactly?
V:Well,mister,thatsoundsprettyserious.
T:Bytalk,Imean,ballsdeepinsideyou.
Ilaugh.
V:Welldon’tholdbackATALL.
T:Didyouexpectanythingless?;)
V:Actually,no.
EverydayI’mawake,IfeellikeI’mlivingadream.AtbreakfastonSunday,Icouldn’tstop

smiling.

“Iloveseeingmychildrensohappy,”Mommentionsafterweeat.Oncewehelpcleanup,she

hugsusbothgoodbye.“Youbothmustbeinlove,”shejokes.

Mycheeksgopink,andIhurrytograbmybagbeforeshenotices,butI’mnotquickenough.I

makeeyecontactwithher,andmydeepest,darkestsecretsarewrittenacrossmyface.Sheglances
overatDrew,thenbackatme,beforehersmilewidens.Beingthemanheis,he’scompletely
oblivioustothefactthatMomjustcalledmeout.

“Letthemleave,”Larrysayswithabigsmile.Heremindsmeofabiglumberjack,especially

whenhewearsthoseplaidbutton-upshirts—hiseverydaywardrobe.Evenheknowsthatifwedon’t
rushoutthedoorrightatthismoment,she’llkeepusuntilafterlunch.That’showsheis;wehaveto
escapewhilewecan.

“Fine,”shesays,pattinghimonhisstomachashewrapshisarmaroundher.
“Iloveyoutwo.Becareful.TellTravisIsaidhello,”MomsaystoDrew.Idon’tdarelookather,

atthementionofhisname.

“I’lltellhim.”Drewswingshisbagoverhisshoulder,andwewalkouttothetruck.
“Mom’sbeingweird,too,”hesays.“What’swithyougirlsthesedays?”
Sheknows.Fuck.Sheknowstoomuch.
“Ididn’tthinkshewasbeingweird.”Ithrowmybaginthebackseatofhistruck.It’ssotallthatI

struggletoclimbinside.ThisiswhyIwantedtotakemycar.

“Allthistalkaboutlove.Itkindofmakesmesick.Oh,andthewayshekissesLarry.Oh,myGod!

AtleastwhenIvisitDad,Idon’thavetowatchhimbewithsomeoneelse.”

Drewisrambling,andI’mokaywithit.Ifeelkindofguiltythatwedidn’tvisitDadwhilewewere

home,butDrewhastogointoworktoday,andweneedtogetback.

HalfwaythroughthemiddleofDrew’sridiculousplaylist,atextringsout,andit’sCourtney.
C:WHEREAREYOU?SERIOUSLY!
IleanagainstthedoorandsnapapictureofDrewdriving.He’swearingabaseballcapandashirt

that’stoosmall,whichIteasedhimaboutthismorning.Histattooedbicepsarebustingoutfrom
underthesleeve.She’sgoingtolikethistoomuch.

OH
MY
FUCKING
GOD
OVARIES
EXPLODING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ican’tstoplaughing.Iinterrupthimashecontinuestalkingaboutwork.
“Hey.CanyousayhitoCourtneyrealquick?”
Ihurryandpressrecordonmyphonetocapturethewholething.Atfirst,Drewactsallshyand

givesaslylittlesmile,butIknowbetter.He’sworkingthecamerarightnow.

“Hey,Courtney.”Hewinksattheend.
IturnthecameraonmyselfandgivehertheevileyebeforeIstoprecordingandsenditover.

“Shemightactuallydie.”

“Why?”Heglancesoveratmecompletelyconfused.Hereallyhasnoideatheaffecthehason

women,especiallyher.

“Noreason.Shementionedsomethingaboutyouandhandcuffs,andwellit’sgrossandkindof

makesmesick.”

Heburstsoutlaughing.“Thecopfantasy?Really?”
“Oh,you’reawareofitthen?”Isay,waitingformyphonetodetonatewithtextsfromher.
“Don’tallwomendreamaboutthat?”
“No.Definitelynot.Gross.Ithinkyouruinedthatoneforme.”

C:Canyouhavehimtakehisshirtofftoo?

Iscoff.DrewlooksoveratmeasItypeamessagebacktoherquick.

V:OMG!Giveyouaninchandthenyouwantmybrothernaked.

C:IwishIhadaninchofhim.Andhey,youstartedit!!Givehimmyaddress.I’llgethimoutof
yourhair.

V:YOU’RERIDICULOUS!

“So,whatdidshesay?”Drewasks,andIthinkhegenuinelywantstoknow.
“TrustmewhenIsayyou’rebetteroffnotknowing.”Ileaveitatthat.Becauseew.
“Comeon;Iwanttoknow.”
Ishakemyhead,andhereachesovertograbmyphone.IgointoapanicashereadsCourtney’s

textmessagethatisthankfullystillonthescreenandIripitoutofhishand.Notetoself:Alwayslock
cellphone.

“Holyshit!Yourfriend’safreak!”
“Whowillseriouslymurdermeifsheeverfindsoutyoureadthat.”
Oncue,Igetanothertextmessage,andit’sfromTravis.Iopenitupandseeapictureofadick.

Hisdick.Hard.Longing.Waiting.Thewordsonthebottomsay‘ForMary-KateandAshley.'

Iinstantlyblushandfumbletopasswordprotectmyphone,notevenabletoreplybacktohim.

Courtney’stextmessagesgoofflikecrazy,andIsittherefrozen,tryingtoignorethemboth.Travisis
adeadmanthenexttimeIseehim.Butit’sDrew’swordsthatpullmebacktoreality.

“Haveyouseenawomanatthehousebyanychance?”
MyfacescrunchesandItrytoprocessthisoddquestion.“What?”
“IjusthavethissuspicionthatTravisisseeingsomeone.Wonderingifyou’veseenheraround

betweenclasses.”

Myheartishammering,andmythroatgoesdry.“Nope.”
“Hmm,”hesays,notpayingattentiontomyanxiety.Thankfully.
“I’mgoingtofindoutwhoitis.”Drewtakestheexittowardthecampus.Hehasthatdetectivelook

onhisfacewhilehelooksouttowardtheroad.It’sscaringtheshitoutofme.

“Probablysomecum-drunkslut,”Iadd.
“No.No.Thisseemsdifferent.Ican’tputmyfingeronityet.Shit,whatwasthatgirl’snamethat

hereallyliked?”

“Ihavenoclue,”Isay,utterlyunamused.Iwishtheconversationwouldend.Overtheyears,there

wereprobablytonsofgirlsheliked.AndIdon’twanttotalkaboutit.

“Yeah,theonehejokedaboutmarryingbeforeshecheatedonhim.Doyourememberher?It’sthe

onlyonethatlastedmorethanafewdays.”

Silence.
“Hejustseemshappy,likehewaswhenhewaswithherbeforeshebecamearagingbitch.Butthat

wasyearsago.It’sgoingtobothermeuntilIthinkofhername.”

Mycheeksheat,butIcontinuestaringoutthewindow.Idon’tknowthisstory,andwhileIwantto

askquestions,Idon’twantittoseemoutofplace.ItmusthavebeenbeforeImovedcloserorstarted
hangingaroundthemagain.BecauseIhavenorecollectionofthisstory.Insteadofgettingtiedupin
it,IsnapintomyTravis-King-is-an-assholemodeandallowthewordstoflowout.

“It’sprobablythepainmedsthataremakinghimseemsohappy.Andhonestly,Idon’tgivetwo

shitsaboutTravisKing,okay?”Itkindofhurtstosaythat.I’vesaidthosewordssomanytimesover
theyears,anditseemednatural,butrightnowitseemsawkwardandforeign.

“Allright.JesusChrist.Youdon’thavetobitemyheadoff.Sorryforbringingitup.”

Bythetimewepulluptomydorm,mymindisrunningsofastthatI’matalossforwords.I

didn’tknowTravisevenjokedaboutmarriagewithsomeoneorthatitwasthatserious.Orthathe,of
allpeople,hadbeencheatedon.Ithoughthisrelationshipswerejustwham-bam-thank-you-ma’am
one-nightstands,butmaybemyperceptionovertheyearswasdistortedbyjealousy.

“Drew.”Iturntohimbeforeopeningthedoor.
“Yes?”
Iknowhe’sinarush,butIhavetotellhimaboutBostontoday.“I...”
“Vi,I’minahurry.Ican’tbelatetothestation.”
“IwasofferedaninternshipinBostonatUnionInternational.”
Hisfacelightsup,andIcantellhe’sexcitedforme.“Viola!That’samazing!I’msohappyfor

you,sis.”Heleansoverandgivesmeabighug.“Sowhenareyouleavingandallofthat?”

“Ihavetoacceptitfirst,buttwoweeksaftergraduation.”
“Youhavetoacceptit.There’snoquestionaboutit.Andthat’sSOON.DoesMomknow?”
Ishakemyhead.“You’retheonlypersonI’vetoldsofar.”
“I’mproudofyou.Nowgetout,BillGates.I’vegotacitytosave.”
“IsthiswhereIcueintheSupermanmusic?”Igrabmybagfromthebackandhopdown.

“Thanks,Drew.”

“Bye,Vi.I’mhappyforyou.Congratulations.”
SometimesDrewcanbeadouche,buttoknowthathe’ssupportiveofthismakesitalittleeasier

tohandle.I’vebeengoingbackandforthwithitforthepastforty-eighthours,andIhavetotell
Travis.Ilookupatthedarkcloudsrollingoverthehorizon,andIpraythatI’mnotmakingoneofthe
biggestmistakesofmylife.

CHAPTERTEN

TRAVIS

Drewcomeshome,changesintohisuniform,andisoutthedoorinalloftenminutes.Thedudeis
likefuckingBatman.Oneminutehe’sinregularclothes,thenexthehasagunstrappedtohisside,
readytofightcrime.

Justlikeclockwork,Violatextsme.
V:YouknowwhatIcouldgoforrightaboutnow?
T:ApieceofKingcake?
V:Ha!Somecoffee.Wanttojoinme?
T:Didyoureallyhavetoask?
I’msmiling,whichseemstohappenalotwhenI’mthinkingabout,talkingto,oraroundher.
V:I’llbetherein5.
Ontime,Violapullsintothedrivewaybutdoesn’tgetout.Instead,shehonks.Ican’thelpbut

laughatthepathetichornonthePrius.It’slikeacartooncarwithacutelittlemeep-meepsound.

“YouneedaMustangorsomething.Onethatroarswhenyouhonk.”
ShegaspsandrubsthesteeringwheelwhileIbuckle.“Don’tlistentohim,Tatum.He’sjust

jealousbecauseyou’vegottheMagicMikemovesandhedoesn’t.”

“MagicMike?Ha.I’vegottheTravisKingmoves,whichtrumpsanyofthatlameshit.”
SheblushesasIrunmyhandupmyshirt,revealingmystomach.Oncesheglancesdown,Iliftan

eyebrowandlaugh.“You’retooeasy,princess.”

“Ugh.Whydoyoukeepdoingthat?”
Whileshedrives,Iplacemyhandonherthigh.“So,Ihadlunchwithmymotheryesterday.”
“Really?That’sgreat.”Shegrabsmyhand.
“Shetoldmemyfatherhascancer.”
Onceshepullsintotheparkinglotandputsitinpark,sheturnsherwholebodyandsearchesmy

face,tryingtoreadme.“Areyouokay?”

SinceIheardthenews,I’vebeenstuckinlimboaboutit.I’mnotsureifI’msadornot,andit’sa

strangefeeling.Ican’treallyexplainit.“I’mokay.”

Violaleansoverandgivesmeahug.Withherarmswrappedaroundmyneck,Icanfeelthelove

pouringoutofher.“I’msorry,”shewhispers.

“It’sgoingtobeokay.Sohow‘boutthatcoffee?Theyhaveventimochagrandechocolateshit

here?”

“It’saventiwhitechocolatemochawithanextrashot,occasionallymadewithsoy.Andifwego

intherespoutingoffthatlingo,theymaykickusoutandbanusforlife.Theyareprettymuchanti-
establishment.”Sheliftsbotheyebrowsandpuckersherlipswithahardheadnod.

“I’lltakeyourwordforit.”
BeforeIopenmydoor,sheglancesoveratme.“Doyouwanttojustgetittogo?”
“Embarrassedtobeoutwithme,princess?”I’mfuckingwithher,andshenotices.
“IwanttobealonewithyouwhileIcan.”

Dammit,she’ssobeautiful.Idon’tevenarguewithheraboutit.
“OnlyifIcandrive.”Ishootherawink,andshedoesn’tprotest.I’mnotsureifIshouldbe

driving,butsinceI’mnotonanypainmedication,Idon’tseeanissuewithit.IknowIhaven’tbeen
clearedyet,butwhenhaveIeverfollowedtherules?

Weorderourcoffees,andIdrivepastthecollege,turningdownafewsidestreetsuntilwearrive

atthislittleparkIfoundmysenioryear.Neverbeingoneforthelibrary,Iusedtocomeouthereand
study.Whensheseespeoplewalkingtheirdogsandchildrenplaying,hereyeswiden.It’sahappening
place.

“Talkaboutadiamondintherough!Thisparkisawesome.”
Wegetoutofthecar,andItakeherhandandleadheracrossthegrasstoapicnictableundera

tree.Thesunishighinthesky,butdarkcloudstumblein.Itlookslikeitcouldstartrainingatany
moment,butwecontinuetowardthelow-hangingbranches.

Isitnexttoher,withourbackspressedagainstthetabletop,andwewatchthepeopleinthepark.
“Ihavesomethingtotellyou,”Iwhisperintoherneck.Ilovethewayherskinsmellslikefresh

springflowers.

Asoftmoanescapesher.“Hmmm?”
Iopenmycontactslistandhandhermyphone.“Ideletedallthehoes.”
ViolaburstsoutlaughingandlooksatmelikeI’velostmymind.MaybeIhave.
“Why?”Shegasps.
“Becauseyou’retheonlyhoeIwant.”Ireachoverandtickleher.
“I’mnotahoe.”Sheswatsatme,fightingbackherlaughter.Shetriestoticklemebackbutsucks

atit.

“You’remyhoe.”Iinterlockmyfingerswithhersassheleansoverandkissesme.
“You’resodamnromantic.”
“Itry.”IsmilebeforeItakeasipofmycoffee.
“Oh,Ioweyouanasskickingforthatpicture.”Shenarrowshereyesatme.“Drewalmostsawit,

idiot!”

“Shit.I’llallowyoutospankmeifyouwant,”Iquip.
Sheglaresatme.“He’sontous.Likeforrealontous.HeaskedmeifIhadseenagirlaroundthe

houseduetothewayyou’reacting.Sogetyourshittogether,King!”

“What,seriously?”NowI’mconfused.Drewhasnevercaredaboutmysexcapades.
“Yeah,hementionedyouwereactingthesamewayyoudidwhenyouweredatingsomechick,the

oneyoujokedaboutmarrying.”

Mybodystiffens,andIswallowhard.Shenoticesmyreluctanceandturnsandlooksatme,

waitingformetoexplain.

“Viola,thatwasalongtimeago,whenwefirstgotthehouse.Iwasnevergoingtomarryanyone.

Iwasnineteenandhorny,andshewasacheater.That’sridiculous.”Andthetruth.

“Goodtoknowtheonlythingthat’schangedisyourage.”Shesmirks.
Iofferashrug.
“Anyway,he’sgoingallSherlockHolmesonus.Hesaidhewouldfindoutwhoitwasandyou

knowhowhegets.I’mhopingMiaderailshim.”

Mia.Funnyhowshekeepspoppingupinconversations.
“Notgood.”Assoonasthewordsleavemymouth,aboltoflightningstrikesout.Violajumps,

nearlyspillinghercoffeeonherself,whichcausesmetolaugh.Withoutwarning,rainpeltsfromthe
skylikespeedingbulletsandithurtslikehell.Westand,leavingourcoffeesbehindandViolaruns
acrossthegrasswitheveryoneelse.

“Ihatethefuckingrain,”sheyells,ignoringthechildrenaround,tryingtocoverherbodywith

herjacket.

Ithurtstomovequickly,soinsteadofjoggingwithher,Iwalk,takingmytime.I’malreadywet,

mightaswellbesoaked.BythetimeIclimbinside,she’sshiveringeventhoughtheheaterisblowing
onhigh.Waterisdrippingfromthetipsofherhair,andwhenshelooksoveratme,ittakes
everythingIhavetoholdbacklaughter.Shereallyisarainhater.

“Whatadaytowearwhite.”Aslysmileslidesacrossmylipsbecausehershirtisliketissuepaper,

stickingtoherskin.

Violasmilesandopensthemiddleconsole.Shepullsoutanenvelopewitharedwaxsealstamped

ontheback.It’sbeenopenedalready.Beforesayinganotherword,Violaglancesdownatit,holdingit
alittletootightly.I’mnotsurewhat’sgoingonuntilshehandsittome.Iopentheenvelopeandpull
outtheletterthat’saddressedtoherinafancywriting.ThewordsseemtoleakoffthepageasIread
becauseIrealizewhatthismeans.Violaisleaving,anditcrushesme.Iglanceupatherandcantell
she’supset.Shecoversherfacetohidethetears.

“Whoa.Noneedforthat.”Iopenmyarms,andshefallsintothem.Afteramoment,shepulls

away,andIgrabhershoulders.

“Viola.Thisisahugedeal.Pleasetellmeyou’regoing.”
Shelooksupatme,hereyesfinallymeetingmine,andIcanseeasmallglimmerofrelief.

“You’reokaywiththis?”

“TrustmewhenIsayIwanttobeselfish,butthisissomethingthatyoucannotpassup.Union

International?Theychoosefivepeopleayearfortheirinternshipprogram.Thisisanopportunityof
alifetime,andifyoudon’tgo,I’llwithholdsexfromyoufortherestofyourlife.”

Shesnorts.“Asifyoucouldhandlethat.Butwhataboutus?”
Itakeherhandinmine.“We’llmakeitwork,princess.AndyouthoughtIwasbadnow?I’mgoing

tobeagreedybastardwithyouuntilyouleave.Sodryupthosetears.Iknowyou’regoingtomissthe
D,butit’sonlysixmonths.Andwecanvideochat.”Iwigglemyeyebrowsather.“PlusI’llflyupto
visitonceamonth.”

Shefinallycracksasmile.“ButwhatifI’mofferedapositionattheendofmysix-monthterm?

That’susuallywhathappens,youknow.”

SomehowIdidn’tthinkaboutthatone,butitdoesn’tmatter.“We’llcrossthatbridgewhenweget

toit.Promiseme,princess.Promisemeyouwon’tworryaboutus,andyou’lltakethatinternship.It’s
theHarvardofallopportunities.”

Ihandtheletterbacktoher,andshereturnsittotheenvelope.
“Ipromise.”
“Good.”
Leaningherheadagainsttheseat,shesighs.“Ithoughtthiswouldbeeasy.”
“What’sthat?”
“Leaving.Foryears,IwishedIcouldgetawayfromitall.Iwishedsomethinglikethiswould

happen.Andnowthatithas...”Herwordsfadeaway.

“Mymothertoldmethatnottakingrisksishowdreamsdie.Ifyouwantthis,goforit.Don’tlet

yourworries,insecurities,orfearsstopyou.I’vealreadytoldyoubefore;I’mnotgoinganywhere.I
wouldwaitalifetimeforyou,andImeanit.”

“Ifyouwanttoseeotherpeople–”
“FUCKNO!”Idon’tevenletherfinish.“Knowingyou’remine,nomatterhowfarawayis

enoughforme.I’mnotsureifyourealizethisornot,butIdon’twantanyoneelse,Viola.Iwantyou.
Onlyyou.”Ileaninandtuckwet,loosestrandsofherhairbehindherear,andkissthefuckoutofher.

Shepoursherselfintome,andIdon’twanthertoleave.Thedistancewillbehard.Butovertheyears,
I’velearnedpatience,andIwouldselflesslywaitaslongassheneeded.

ButIcan’thelpbutthinkabouthowViolahasalwaysbeenaround.I’mnotsureIknowwhatlifeis

likewithouther,asoddasthatseems.EvenwhenDrewandIfirstmovedclosertocampus,shewould
stilldriveupontheweekendsandpesterus—mainlyme—butshewashere.Knowingthatshe’s
movinginamatterofweeksdoesn’tgiveusverymuchtimetobetogether.We’llhavetomakeevery
momentcountasthetimeclockticksdown.

VIOLA

ThoughI’msadtobeleaving,I’mrelievedtohavetoldTravis.Hedeservedtoknowasmuchas

Drewdid.Buthimknowingdoesn’tmakeitanyeasier.I'mprettysureitmakesthedecisioneven
harder.Allmylife,I’vebeenstuckinthisloopoftryingtomakethebestgrades,andwhenit’sfinally
paidoff,Idon’tfeelhappyaboutit.

“Willyoucomeinside?”Travisaskswhenwepullintothedriveway.
“Doyoureallythinkthat’sagoodidea?Drewisontheprowl.”
“Fine.Let’sgosomewhereelsethen.”
I’mconfused,whichseemstobehappeningalotlately.“Uh,likewheredoyousuggest?”
“Yourdorm?”
Imakeaface.“Notquite.Therewouldbethreegirlswithcupsonthedoortryingtolisten.”
“Allrighty.I’vegotanidea.”Travispicksuphisphoneandbeginstextingsomeone.Hisphone

buzzesalot,andattheend,he’sgrinning.

“Whathaveyoudone?”Iquestion,warily.
“Letmedrive.Mysurprise.”
“AreyousureyoucanhandleTatum?”Iopenthedoorandstepout;heslapsmybutthardbefore

heclimbsinside.

“HandleTatum?Iwilldestroyhim.”
Travisreversesoutofthedriveway,causingthewheelstosquealasheheadstowardthestopsign.

I’mprettysuremycarhasneverbeendrivenlikethat.

“Oh,myGod.Don’tdrivemycarlikeyourentedit.”
“I’mdrivingitlikeIstoleit,princess.”Hetiltshisheadatmeasheacceleratestowardthe

freeway.“Butthegoodnewsis,we’regettingfiftymilestothegallon.”

Wetalkabouteverythingandnothingallatthesametime,notoncebringingupthefactthatour

daystogetherarenumbered.AsmuchasItry,Ican’thelpbutthinkabouthowmuchI’mgoingto
missthis.Therearestillsomanyfirststobehad,andDrewdoesn’tevenknow.Atthisrate,wecould
probablyholdofftellinghimuntilafterIleave,notallowingittodisruptwhatwehavegoingon.If
it’snotbroken,maybeweshouldn’tfixit,rightnow.

Anhourpasses,andIstarttogrowsuspicious.TravistakestheexitoffHighway580andloops

underthebridge.Ilookpasthimandcanseethechoppywaterofthebay.Heslows,andthenpulls
intoanemptydrivewayandahousewithnolightson.

“Comeon,”hesays,turningoffthecarandleadingmeupthesidewalkbythehand.
Onthefront—surroundedbyseashells—istheaddress.Abigbaywindowfacesthewater,andI

canalmostimaginepeopleinsidelookingout.Theviewisbreathtaking.

“Whatarewedoing?”Ireluctantlyask.
“We’rewalking.”
“Smartass.”

Hetypesacodeintothefrontdoor,andlikemagic,itclicksopen.Theinsideisdark,andheruns

hishandagainstthewall.

“Lumos,”Isay,andassoonasIdo,thelightsflickon.“Andyouthinkspellsdon’twork,”Iscoff.
“Ineversaidthat.You’veobviouslyputoneonme.”Heleanshisshoulderagainstthewalland

watchesmemarvel.Thehouseisbeautiful.Theocean-themeddécor,pairedwiththelongwallof
books,makesitfeelcozy.

“Whosehouseisthis?”Irunmyfingeracrosssomanyclassicbooks.It’slikeI’msayinghelloto

oldfriends.

“Anoldcollegefriendwhoowesmebig-time.Hisparentsboughthimthishousewhenhe

receivedhisacceptanceletterandafullscholarship.Insteadofdealingwiththehassleofsellingwhen
hemovedtoNewYork,hejustAirbnb’sit.So...”

“Youcalledinafavor?”
Travisnods.“AndnowI’mgoingtofulfillafantasyandfuckyouagainstthatwindow.”
ThespacebetweenusvanishesandTravis’lipsarepressedhardagainstmine.
“Doyoutrustme?”heasks,flippingoffthelight,allowingthesettingsuntobleedin.
“Itrustyouwithmyheart.”
Hesmilesagainstmylips,runninghishandupmyshirt,palmingmybreast.“Good.”
Achillrunsdownmyspineasheundressesme.Thoughhishandsarecareful,hismouthis

dangerous,needy.Meetinghisintensity,Iundresshim,untilwearebothstandingnakedinfrontofthe
largebaywindow.Thestreetisquiet,andwhenIturntolookoutside,theburntsunsetsoverthe
horizon.Travismovesmyhairfrommyshoulderandbitesdown,causingamixtureofpainand
pleasuretosoarthroughme.Withhiserectionagainstmyass,hemovesmeforwarduntilmybreasts
arepushedagainstthecoldglassbeforeheslidesin.Justthethoughtofsomeonebeingabletoseeus
makesmewanttolosecontrol,andhemakesittooeasy.

Travisgivesabsolutelynofucks,andtakesmehardandrough,justlikeIwant.Hetugsatmyhair

andbitesalongmyneckandshoulders.Theintensityofhimisalmosttoomuchtohandle.Wearen’t
quiet.Wefuckloudandhardanddon’tgivetwoshitsiftheworldseesusasheslamsintomeagainst
thewindow.

Ibegformore.
Ibegforitharder.
Andhe’srelentless,one-uppingmyrequests,andIwanthimto.
ThekingisusinghisroyalcockinwaysI’veneverexperienced.AndIloveit.
TheeuphoriaofhimissomuchIalmostforgetmyownname,andI’veresortedtogibberish.I’m

prettysureTravisistryingtobreakmeorleavehisimprint,buthealreadyhas.Iwon’tbeforgetting
thisanytimesoon.

Heflipsmearound,grabbingmynipplebetweenhisteethasheslamshiscockinme.Ileanmy

headagainstthecoolglass,andIhavenoideahowhe’sdoingthiswithbrokenribs,butIdon’teven
questionhim.He’sintotalcontroltonight.It’sasifhe’sfuckingawayallofhisemotionsaboutme
leavingandI’mhappyfortherelease.I’mhappytoforgetaboutitallandbelostinnothingbutthe
moment,foronce.Mybodyisaslavetohim,andIridetheorgasmicwavesoverandoveragain,
onlytobeselfishandwantevenmore.Mysexualappetitematcheshis,andI’mproudofthat.

“You’readirtygirl,V.”Hesmirksandspinsmearound,slappingmyassbeforehecontinues.He

doesn’tevenrubitlikethebookboyfriendsinmyromancenovels.Butoddlyenough,itturnsmeon
evenmore.“Don’tevensayit,”hewarns.“Vofficiallystandsforvixen.”Hewrapsmymessyhair
aroundhisfistandforcesmetolookintohiseyes.“MyV.Myvixen.”

“I’llalwaysbeyours,Travis.”Thewordsfalloutofmymouth,andmywarmbreathcreatesafog

againsttheglass.

“Princess,whenyousaythingslikethat...”Hegroansinmyear,andtheemotionsthatswirl

throughmeareindescribable.Ifeelhimtensebehindme,andIpushharderagainsthimuntilheloses
himself.Warmthfillsme,andheleanshisheadagainstmyshoulder.Westaylikethatforalong
moment,takingeachotherin,deeppantsandheavybreaths.

Travistakesastepbackwithmeinhisarmsandglancespastmeatthewindow.Herubshishand

acrossthestubblethatgraceshisperfectjawline.Iturnandseemybreastsandassimprintedonthe
glassandcan’tstopthelaughter,butI’mnotembarrassed.Hellno,I’mproudbecausesomehow
Travishasbrokenmysexualshellintopieces.

“Thehousekeeperwillhavefunwiththatone.”Hissmileisperfect,andIcan’thelpbutadmirehis

absandhowlowhisjeanssitonhishipswhenhezipsthem.Ifollowhishappytrailallthewaydown
tothelingeringhard-on.Swallowinghard,Itakeamentalsnapshotofthisexactmoment,notever
wantingtoforgetit.

Afteramoment,Travissitsonthecouchandstretchesouthislegs.Nowordsarespokenbetween

usandIsnuggleinnexttohimafterputtingonmybraandpanties,complimentsofCourtneyand
Victoria’sSecret.Withournakedskinpressedtogether,hewrapshisarmsaroundmeandIfocuson
hisheartbeatandthesoundofhisbreathing.

Theclockonthewallletsoutaloudgongonthehour,scaringtheshitoutofme.Travisholdsme

alittletighterandletsoutaloudbarkoflaughter.Iglareathim,thenattheclock,knowingthatit’s
ourcuetogo.Sayinggoodbyeisgoingtobecomeharderwitheachpassingday,butItrytopushthe
naggingthoughttothebackofmymind.

“Idon’twanttogo.”Ipout.
“Let’sstay.I’vegotthehouseuntiltheweekend.”
Myeyeswiden.“Seriously?Thatmusthavebeenahelluvathingyoudidforthisguy.”
“Hebasicallyowesmehisfirstborn.”Hegivesmeacutelittlesidegrin.
Myeyeswiden,andI’mintrigued.“Iwanttohearmoreofthisstory.”
“Hehelpedmewithfinals,andIhelpedhimsnagthegirl.Shefellinlovewithhiscomputer

programmingassandtherestishistory.”

Iburstoutintolaughter.“Oh,myGod.”
“Itwasbetterthanpayingfortutoring.”
Ismackhimonthechest,andhepullsmecloser.“Youaresowrongforthat.”
“Sowhatchasayprincess,amIhavingyouforbreakfast?”Travisasks,withaneyebrowtiltedup.
Ineedtobestudying,butIamaheadatthemoment...
Fuckit!
Momentslikethiswillbefewandfarbetween,andIdon’twanttotakeanotheroneforgranted.I

nodbeforekissinghim.

“Bonappétite,”Iwhisperacrosshislips.
Somehowwefallasleeponthecouch,andhourslaterTravisispattingmyarmformetomove.

Hegrabsmyhandandleadsmetothemasterbedroom.Ifoldtheblanketsdownfromtheking-sized
bed,andweclimbunderthesheets.It’sthefirsttimewe’vesleptinthesamebedtogetherwithouta
careintheworld.Irollover,andTravisholdsmetight,asifI’mwaterthatwillslipbetweenhis
fingers.Butthatwon’thappenbecausenothinginmylifehaseverfeltsoright.

NotcaringaboutschoolorBostonoranything,Ifallasleepwithasmileonmyface.

CHAPTERELEVEN

TRAVIS

It’sbeenthreeweekssinceIsnuckViolauptothehouseonthebay,andeventhoughwefindevery
chancetobetogether,itwasoneofthosemomentsI’llneverforget.

Ihatethatwe’rekeepingitasecretfromDrew,butapartofmeworriesthingswillchange

betweenusonceheknows.There’snosayinghowhe’llreactforsure,butIcan’timagineit’llbe
good.

However,nowthatIhavearentalcarandI’vereturnedtowork,it’salittleeasiertoavoidDrew

andmeetupwithViolaonnightshe’shome.ShestillcomesoveronWednesdays,andIstillfindways
totasteherwhenhe’snotlooking.

MyphonedingswithanincomingtextmessageasIwalkintowork,andIsmileasIreadViola’s

nameacrossthescreen.

V:Myfinancialmarketingprofessorjustannouncedanadditionalextra-creditprojecttobe
addedtoourfinals!OMG,he’stryingtokillmebecauseI’masuckerforextracredit!!!!!!!!!

T:Butmarketingisyourthing,babe!You’vegotthis!

Ianswerhertext,tryingtoencourageherandbrightenuphermood.She’sbeenanabsolutemess

thelastcoupleweeksasgraduationapproaches.Iknowshe’sagenius,acingallherclasses,andis
alreadyashoo-infortheapprenticeshipthissummer,butIknowfreak-outmodeisinevitableuntil
shewalksacrossthatstagetowardherdiploma.

V:Sincewhendidyoutradeinyoursuitandtieforapairofpom-poms?

Ismileathersmartassresponse—exhausted,stressed,andstillabletorunherfilthymouth.

T:I’llrole-playforyouanyday,princess.Aslongasyou’retheonewiththepom-poms...andonly
thepom-poms.

AssoonasIwalkintomyoffice,shesendsanothermessage.
V:Cheerleaderfantasy?Really?
T:Doesthatreallysurpriseyou?Isetmybriefcasedownandsitbehindmydesk.I’veonlybeen

backaweek,andIalreadyhaveahugeproject.AlyssahasbeengluedtoBlake,sothat’sarelief.

V:Actually,no.Justknowthatmyfantasyconsistsofcloaks,wands,andnerdyglasses.Oh,and
youmustspeakinanEnglishaccent.

T:Hmm,that’sverydescriptive...likeyou’vebeenthinkingonthatforawhile...

V:APotterheadnevertells...

T:I’msureIcouldpersuadeyou.Youaren’ttheonlyonewhocancastspells.JustwaituntilI
Slytherin;)

Iturnmycomputeronandstartscrollingthroughmyemails.Imissthedaysofbeinghomewith

Violaandjustbeingabletolaylowwithher,especiallynowknowingshe’llbeleavinginamonth.I
haven’tallowedmyselftothinkaboutittoomuch,consideringIwanttomakethemostofthetime
thatwehaveleftbeforethen,butIknowI’mgoingtobecompletelylostwithouther.

V:Showmewhatyou’vegot,wizardboy!P.S.Goodluckonyourpresentationtoday!Ipacked
anextrainvisibilitycloakinyourbagjustincase,butIdoubtyou’llevenneedit!Killit!

T:Nowwho’ssportingthepom-poms?;)

V:Imean...don’tfuckitup,muggle.

AknockatthedoordirectsmyattentionuptoBlakewhoisstandinginmydoorway.He’sbeen

prettyedgysincemyreturn,andIhaveafeelinghelikedmyabsence.

“It’stime.”Henodshisheadtothehallway.“Everyone’smeetingintheconferenceroominfive.”
“Rightbehindyou,”Isay,grabbingafilefolderwithmynotesandpaperworkanddouble-

checkingthatIhaveeverything.

Standingup,Ilookaroundattheonce-promisingofficethathasnowturnedcold.Myheartisno

longerhere,andthethoughtofstartingmyfirmbecomesmoreappealingeachday.Iusedtoliveand
breathethisjob,buteversinceViola,she’sbeentheonetobreathelifebackintome.

Ifuckingrockmypresentation,andoncethemeetingisover,Blakewalksbacktomyofficeandasks
metogotoalunchmeetingwithhim.I’mhesitant,consideringourhistory,buthesoldmeonthe
companypickingupthetab,sowhynot?

Alyssawatchesusbothintentlyaswemakeourwayout.She’sbarelysaidmorethanasentenceto

me,soIknowsomething’sup.Ijustcan’tquiteputmyfingeronit.

ItextViolabeforeheadingout.

T:You’llbehappytoknowIkickedassandamnowheadingoutforaworklunchmeeting.I
expectacelebrationtonight...intheformofyournakedbodyontopofminewhileyouyellhow
muchharderyouwantit.

IslideintothecompanycarwithBlake;hetakesthedriver ’sside,andIsitinthepassengerseat.

Hebucklesup,andIcheckmyphoneonceagainforherresponse,butsofarnothing.Iknowshe’s
swampedrightnow,soIshrugitoff.Talkingwithheralwaysmakesmydaysgobyfaster.

“So,Ibetyou’regladtobebackfinally.Ihearbedrestcansuckforaking.”Blake’sattemptat

smalltalkislaughable,butIgoalongwithitanyway.

“Yeah,itdid.Goodthingmyroommate’slittlesisterwasaroundtohelpmesome.”Thewords

flowoutbeforeIcanstopthem.

“Violet,right?”
“Viola,”Icorrect.“Shelivesoncampusnearby,soshewasn’ttoofarifIneededanything.”
“Howconvenient.”Inoticehiscondescendingtoneandpinchmylipstoforcebackasmugsmile.

Itwasveryfuckingconvenient,butofcourse,Iwon’tsaythattohim.Thelessheknowsaboutmy

personallife,thebetter.

Oncetheawkwardlunchfromhellisover,andBlakenot-so-subtlythreatensmypositionatthefirm,I
makealittledetourbeforeheadinghome.Sinceit’sWednesday,Violawillbeovertonight,andI’m
goingtohavetouseallthewillpowerIdon’thavetokeepmyeyesandhandsoffher.

KnowingthatViolaleavesforBostoninjustamonth,Iwanttogiveheragoing-awaygiftthat

willensureshecomesbacktome.Iknowthat’sselfishonmypart,butI’vebeenwaitingtenyearsfor
thegirlofmydreams,andI’lldowhateverittakestomakesureIdon’tloseheragain.

I’vebeenthinkingaboutitthelastcoupleofweeks,andIfoundjusttherightoneforher.
Afterpickingupthegift,Iarrivebackhome,fortunatelybeforeDrew,sohedoesn’tquestionme.

V:I’mheadingoversoon.Isthecoastclear?

IreadViola’stextandimmediatelysendoneback.Ican’twaittoseeher.

T:Yes.Getyourassoverhere.Ihaveasurprise.
V:Whatkindofasurprise?ShouldIbringmywand?

Ismileatherresponse.

T:I’llbetheonewiththewand,princess;)
V:Let’shopeyouknowhowtousethatthingbeforeyoubreakit:)

Ishakemyheadatherresponse,lovingherfilthymouth.

T:Wasthatreallynecessary?Lowblow,princess.
V:Sorry,King.Sometimesyouhavetopaythepriceofbeingasmartass.

Isetmyphonedownandgethergiftready,sosheseesitwhenshefirstwalksin.Iknowshe’s

goingtolosehermind.

HearingViola’scarpullintothedriveway,Iimmediatelygreetheratthedoor.Shesmiles,andI

pressmylipstohersbeforesheevenhasachancetospeak.

“Well,hi,”shesays,gaspingforair.
“Hi.”Ismileinreturn.“Ihavesomethingwaitingforyou.”
Ileadherintothehouseanddownthehallwaytomybedroom.“Areyouready?”
“Nothing’sgoingtopopoutatme,isit?”Shepullsbackslightly,andIwrapahandaroundher

neckandpullherlipstomineagain.

“No,unlessyou’reintothatkindofthing.”Iwinkather,andsheholdsbackasmile.
“Youhavenoshame.”Shechucklesagainstmymouth.
IsoftlykissherlipsoncemoreandpullbackslightlyasIopenmybedroomdoor.
Steppingoutofherwaysoshecanwalkin,sheimmediatelygaspsandrunstothebed,wherean

eight-week-oldpuppyiswigglingwithexcitement,anxiouslywaitingforhertopickhimup.

“Oh,myGod!”shescreams—herexcitementaddictingasIfollowbehindher.“Yougotapuppy?”

Shepickshimupandholdshimclosetoherchest.“He’ssosweet!”Sherubshisfuragainsther
cheek.

Iwrapanarmaroundherwaistandpullherintome.“Igotyouapuppy.”

Hereyeswidenasshelooksupatme.“What?Why?Imean,Ican’thaveapuppyinthedorms.

WhataboutwhenIleave?”Herbottomliptrembles,andIcantellshe’snotgettingmywholepoint.

“He’sgoingtoliveherewithmeuntilyoucomeback.”
“Heis?”
“Yes.”Ismileconfidently.“ThatwayIknowyou’llcomeback.Iknowyoucan’tresistpuppies.”
Shechuckles,rubbingthelengthofherchinalonghisface.“Sohe’scollateral?Idon’tcome

back,andyougettokeepthepuppy?”

“Idon’twanttokeepthepuppy,princess.Ijustwantyou.”
Shetiltsherheadandnarrowshereyes.“Youhaveme.Regardlessofbeinggoneforsixmonths,

I’mnotgoinganywhere.We’llstilltextandSkype,andI’llcallyoueverynight.I’llbebackbefore
weknowit.”Herwordsarereassuring,butIcan’thelpbutnoticethetoneinhervoiceisn’tascertain.

“Wellthen,thinkofhimasathankyougift.”
Sherepositionshimonherchestandsoonhiseyesareclosingasherestshisheadonher

shoulder.

“Athankyougiftforwhat?”
Ibrushmyfingersthroughherhairandlookherintheeyes.“Fortakingcareofmeandmaking

sureIwasfedandproperlycleaned.”

“Oh,yes.Thoseshowerswereaterribleinconvenienceforme.”Shesmilesandpresseslittle

kissestothepuppy’scheeks.

“Sowhatdoyouwanttonamehim?”
Wesitdownontheedgeofthebedandtakeagoodlookathim.Hehasfluffygoldenfurand

dark,beadyeyes.

“HelookslikeaGryffindortome.Gryffforshort.”
Ithrowmyheadbackandlaugh.Ofcourse,she’dgivehimaHarryPottername.Irubmyhand

alonghisbackasherestspeacefullyonViola’slap.“Sorry,littleguy.Wedidn’tstandachanceon
givingyouamoremanlyname,butI’llbesureallthesingleladiesknowyou’remachoandbadass.”

Violachucklesandrestsherheadagainstmyshoulder.“NowI’mgoingtohavetosaygoodbyeto

twospecialmeninmylife.”

“Don’tworry.I’msurewe’llkeepeachothercompany.”
“You’regoingtohavetofeedhimwhileI’mgone.Andtakehimforwalks.Andgivehimbaths.

He’llprobablywanttosleepwithyou,too.Theyusuallymisstheirbrothersandsistersforthefirst
fewweeksafterbeingseparated.”ShecontinuestorambleuntilIfinallyinterruptandshutherup.

“Viola!”Ishout.“IthinkIcanhandleaharmlesslittlepuppy.”
Shetiltsherfaceup,uncertaintywrittenalloverit.“WhatareyougoingtotellDrew?”
“Don’tworryaboutDrew.I’lltakecareofit.”
Welieonthebed,pettingandplayingwithGryff.Hechewsonourfingers,mycomforter,and

evenViola’shair.Thewayherfacelightsupwhenshelooksathimmakesmesodamnhappy,andI
wishIcouldbottleupthismomentandjustkeepitthiswayforever.

IrememberViolatellingmehowmuchshewantedadog.SheaskedforoneeveryChristmas,and

likeclockwork,itnevercame.Ididn’tgrowupwithpets,exceptoneoldcatthatmymothercherished
likeababy.Inevergotcloseenoughtoittoconsideritacompanion,butViolawouldgonutsevery
timesomeonewouldwalkadogpasttheirhouse.Shetalkedaboutdogslikeshedidherbooks,andI
knewshe’dalwayswantedone.Somegirlswantapony;Viola’salwayswantedapuppy.

Eventhoughshelivesinthedorms,andshe’llbeleavingforBostonsoon,Iwantedhertohave

Gryff.Anotherreasontocomeback,evenifitendsupbeingforthewrongreasons.

VIOLA

NomatterwhatIdo,Ican’twipethestupidgrinoffmydamnfacerightnow.Gryffissmothering

meinkisses,andTravisislookingatmelikehewantstoripoffallmyclothes,whichisprobably
accurate.ThisisTravis,afterall.

“Thankyou,”IwhisperaswebothlieonthebedwithGryffsleepinginbetweenus.“It’sthe

sweetestthinganyone’severgivenme.”

“Yeah?”Heraisesabrow.“Feelfreetoshowmejusthowthankfulyouare.”
“Sorry,King.There’sanewmaninmylifenow.”Ipickupthepuppyandsethimonmychest.
“Icangiveyoupuppydogeyesandlickyourfaceifthat’swhatittakes.”Herollstomysideand

facesme.“Orifyouprefer,Icanlickyousomewhereelse,too.”

Ismileathisattempt.“Drew’sgoingtobehomesoon,andunlessyouwanthimtofindmewitha

puppyinyourbed,Ihavetogetup.”

“Well,itwouldn’tbetheweirdestthinghe’severfoundinmybed.”Heflashesasmugsmile,and

I’mtemptedtosmackthatlookrightoffhisface.

“Perhapsit’sagoodthingGryffwillbeherewhileI’mgone.Hecankeepaneyeonyou,”Isay,

climbingoffhisbed.“He’llbemylittlespy.”

“Youdon’ttrustme?”Heplacesahandoverhischestandpoutswiththosesad,patheticeyesof

his.

“Ido,it’sthehoesIdon’ttrust,”Isaymatter-of-factly.
Hesitsontheedgeofhisbedandpullsmeinbetweenthem.“Youhavenothingtoworryabout,

princess.Ipromiseyouthat.It’sjustgoingtobeGryffandme,waitinguntilthedayyoureturntous.”

Myheartpoundsinmychestasthewordssitonthetipofmytongue,butIcan’tpushthemoutjust

yet.Ilovehim.IthinkI’vealwayslovedhim,evenwhenIhatedhim,butIcan’thelpfeelingscaredto
saythosewordsaloud.I’mworriedifIdo,it’lljinxeverythingwehavegoingforussofar.

Drewwalksinthedoorthirtyminuteslaterandimmediatelycursesthesecondheseesthedogrun
towardhim.“Travis?”hecallsout,bendingdownandpickingthepuppyup.I’mwatchinghimfrom
thelivingroom,buthehasn’tyetseenme.“DidanewroommatemoveinthatI’munawareof?”

“He’smine,”Isay,bringinghisattentiontome.“Isn’thecute?”Ismile,hopinghewon’taska

millionquestionsabouthim,butIknowbetter.

“Yeah,adorable,”hedeadpans.“Why’sheinmyhouse?”
“Becauseheliveshere,”Travischimesin,stalkingfromthehallwaywithoutashirton.Dammit.

Whyisheshirtless?

“Sincewhen?”Drewasks,settinghimdownandwatchesasherunsbacktome.
“Today,”Ianswer,pickinghimup.“Travisgavehimtomeasathankyougiftfortakingsuch

goodcareofhim.Isitokaythathestayshere?”Igivehimmybestpleadinglook,andpoutoutmy
lips.

Hesighs,settinghisgeardownonthetable.“You’reokaywiththis?”Hedirectshisquestionto

Travis.“Imean,youbasicallyboughtyourselfadog,man.”Heshakeshisheadalittle,withan
amusedchuckle.

“Yeah,it’sfine.Butit’sViola’sdog.She’lltakecareofhimwhenshe’saroundandthen...”He

slipshishandsintohisfrontpocketsandshrugscarelessly.“I’lltakecareofhimuntilshe’sback.”

IwatchasDrewfurrowshisbrowsatTravis,tryingtoreadhisintentions.“Somethingweirdis

goingon.”

“Drew,c’mon.YouknowI’vewantedadogforever.”Ikeepmyeyeslockedonhis,knowinghe’ll

caveanysecond.

Heinhalesthroughhisnose,andIwatchashischestrisesandfallswithadeepsigh.“Fine,

whatever.ButI’mnotpickingupanydogpoop.Idealwithenoughshitatwork;Idon’tneedmoreof
itwhenIcomehome.”

IsmileinvictorybuthideitbehindGryff’shead.IknowTravisandIdodgedanotherbulletwith

Drew,butnowisn’ttherighttimetotellhim.

“Areyourclothesinthewash,Vi?”Drewasksfromthekitchen.“Ineedtothrowaloadin.”
“Justsetitdownbythewasher,andI’llthrowitinafterIchangemineover.”
“Okay,thanks.I’mgoingtohitthegymforacoupleofhoursthen.”
Inod,andhedisappearsintohisroomforafewmomentsbeforeheresurfacesinhisworkout

clothes.“Fuck!”

InearlyjumpfromthecouchandrundownthehallwaywhenIspotDrewstandinginfrontofa

pileofdogpoop.“Oh,no.”IpickGryffupandholdhimclosetomychest.He’sshaking.“Hedidn’t
meanto.He’sjustnervous.”

Drewwalksaroundmewithoutsayinganotherword,andIknowhe’salreadyunhappyaboutthe

puppy.Heheadsdownthehall,andIexhaleasIhearthebathroomdoorclickshut.

“I’llcleanitup,princess.Don’tworry.Drew’sbeenanemotionalmessthepastcoupleweeks.It’s

notyou.”

Itmaynotbeme,butIcanthinkofacertainsomeonewhoisprobablythecauseofallhispent-up

aggression.Mia.

OnceTraviscleansupthemessandspraysthecarpet,hecallsmetothekitchen.Ihearhim

bangingaroundpotsandpans,andIcan’thelpwonderwhatthehellhe’sgettingintonow.

“Iknowyousaidyoudidn’twantanythingofminenearyourmouth,butImakeareallykickass

pastadish.”

“Apuppyanddinner?”Iaskwithasmugsmile.“Yousureknowthewaytoagirl’sheart,don’t

you?”

Hecupsmycheekandpullsmein,soourmouthsarejustbarelytouching.“Justyours,Viola.”He

presseshislipstomineforadeep,passionatekiss.“Youwerealwaysthegirl.”

“Andyouwerealwaystheboy,TravisKing.”
Hewrapshisarmsaroundmywaistandattacksmymouthwithhistongueandlips.Itake

everythinghe’sofferingandmore.

“Let’sskipdinner,”hewhispersagainstmymouth.“I’dmuchratherhavedessertinstead.Whatdo

youthink?”

“Toomuchdessertinyourdietisn’tahealthybalance,”Isay.
“SincewhenhaveIcaredaboutahealthybalance?”
Ilaughandpressmypalmsagainsthischesttopushhimaway.“Drew’shome,”Iremindhim.“In

fact,Ishouldprobablybecursingyououtorsomethingbeforehewalksbackinhere.”

“Orwecouldjusttellhim?”Hearchesabrow.
Idropmyshouldersandfrown.“Youknowhowthatwouldworkoutifwediditrightnow?”
“Oh,c’mon.He’llgetonegoodpunchin,andthen—”
“Travis!”Iscold,andhelaughs.Asshole.
“Healwaystakeslongshowersafterwork,sowehavesometimetokill.”Hebrushesloose

strandsofhairbehindmyearandsmiles.

“Good.Thenyoucanmakethatdinner,”Isay.
Hegroans,adjustinghimself.“HowthehellamIsupposedtocookwiththisdistractingme?”

“Hmm...”Ipinchmylipstogether,pretendingtoponderit.“Howcanweremedythislittle

situation?”

Ikneeldownandstartundoinghisbelt.Icanfeelhowhardheisunderneaththefabricofhisjeans.

Istareupathim,stillshirtless,andstudythetattoosthatcoverhisarmsandchest.Iwanttolickmy
tongueallthewayuphisbodyandsuckoneverydesign,butIstayfocusedongettinghisjeans
undoneinstead—fornowanyway.

OnceIsuccessfullystriphimoutofhisjeansandboxershorts,Ipalmhiscockandbegin

stroking.Henearlystumblesatthefirsttouch,andIknowI’mtheonlyoneinchargerightnow.

“Allright,chef.Getstarted.”
“What?Rightnow?”
“Yes.”Iturnmybackagainsttheoven,andheturnstofacemesoIcansuckthetipofhim.“You

cook.I’llgetstartedondessert.”

“Fuck,Viola,”hehisseswhenIslidemytonguealonghisshaft.“Youreallywantmearoundsharp

knivesandahotstovewhenyouhavemydickinyourmouth?”

Inod,runningmytonguealongtheedgeofhistipasittwitchesfromthewarm,teasingcontact.
“YourealizeI’llendupcuttingmydamnhandofforsomething.”
“ThenIsuggestyoubeextracareful.”
“Noway.”Hemoans,leaninghishandsonthestovetopandslidinghisdickdeeperintomymouth.
Ipullhimoutandteasehimonceagain,watchingashenearlycrumblesoverme.“C’mon,King.

Youdon’twanttoplay?”

“Goddammit,Viola,”hehisses,knowingexactlywhatkindofgameI’mtalkingabout.“Fuck,

princess.Yourmouthisfuckingperfection.”

“Don’tforgettherules,”Isay,remindinghimofourlittlegame.“Youcomebeforedinner ’s

ready,youlose.”

“Soundsmorelikeawintome,”hesayssmugly,tryingtocontrolhisbreathing.
“Andifyoudon’t,yougettocomesomewhereelse...”Idrawl,lingeringmywordsbecausehe

knowsexactlywhatImean.TheonlyreasonIagreedtothosetermsisbecauseIknowTravisKing
wellenoughtoknowhe’llneverbeabletoholdoffthatlong.

“Gameon,princess.”

CHAPTERTWELVE

TRAVIS

DrewstridesbackintothediningroomjustasI’msettingthetable.Icantellsomething’sbothering
himbythewayhisfeaturestightenupandhowhebrusheshishandthroughhishair.Iknowhe’sbeen
talkingaboutMiaalotlately,buthehasn’treallysaidmuchabouthersincethelasttimehetoldme
theyspoke.

“What’sgoingon?”Drewasks,noddinghisheadtowardthetable.
“I’vegotsomefoodintheoven.Youwantsome?”
“Youmadedinner?”Hearchesabrowindisbelief.
“Yeah,Violasaidshewashungry,soIputsomethingtogether.”
Hepullsachairoutandsitsdown.“Sincewhencanyoucook?”
“Sincenow,”Ifireback.“Yougoingtoeatordrillmeallnight?”
“Sorry,man.Miaisdrivingmenuts.”
“Ithoughtyoutwoweregoingtotalkorsomething?”
“Well,wewere,butshewon’ttellmeanythinguntilwe’refacetoface,andjustbythetoneofher

voice,itdoesn’tsoundgood.”

Ipinchmylipstogether,knowingexactlywhatMiashouldtellDrew,butknowingher,she’lltwist

itaroundsomehowandplaythevictim.

“Whenisshecoming,then?”
“Mynextdayoffisn’tuntilnextWednesday,soshe’sgoingtodriveupTuesdaynightandspend

thenight.”

Icontemplategivinghimaheads-up,butI’mnotreallyinthepositiontobedeliveringbadnews.

“Well,hopefully,youguyscanworkitout.”Thewordscomeoutsincere,butnotatallbelievable.

“It’sjustdrivingmeinsane.Isitthatbadshecan’tjusttellmeoverthephoneandputmeoutofmy

misery?I’veevencontemplatedtakingasickdayanddrivinguptheremyself,butshe’sinthemiddle
ofstudyingforherupcomingfinals,soIjusthavetofuckingsitandwait.”

ViolawalksinbeforeIcanrespond.“MaybeGryffcancheeryouup.”Sheholdsthepuppyup

withawidesmile.

“Doubtful.”
“Geez.Nowwho’stheonemanstrating?”ShecradlesGryfftoherchestandtakesaseat.
Hesighs.“So,what’sthedealhere?Areyoutwolike...friendsnow?”
IseeViola’sbodygostiffinherchairandknowI’mgoingtohavetobetheonetosmooththis

oneover.“Ithoughtyou’dappreciatenofightingforonenight.”Iflashasmallsmile,shrugging
nonchalantly.Theoventimergoesoff,andIwalkbacktothekitchen,leavingViolaalonewithDrew.

Icanhearhertalkingtohimaboutthepuppyandtryingtogethimtowarmuptotheideaof

havinghimatthehouse.BythetimeIbringthefoodin,he’ssmilingandholdingGryff.

“WellifMiaandIdon’tworkout,atleastGryffwillbearoundtokeepmecompany,”hesaysas

hegetslickedbythedog.

Iwalkbackoutandbringinsomedrinksbeforesittingdown.Violagrabsthespoonandstarts

scoopingdinnerontoherplate.AfterDrewsetsGryffdown,hegrabsthedishnext.

“So,King,firstapuppyandnowdinner?Youtryingtogetintomysister ’spants?”
BeforeIcananswer,Violachokesonherdrinkandnearlyspewsitalloverthetable.
“Youallright?”Drewturnsandasks.
Shecoughsafewmoretimesbeforerubbingahandoverherthroat.“Yeah,uh,justwentdownthe

wrongpipe.”

Myheartisbeatingoutofmychestatthetensionintheairandapartofmejustwantstotellhim

rightnowandgetitoverwith,butIknowViolawouldkillmeifIdid.Ipromisedwe’dtellhimwhen
shewasready.

“So?Someonewanttotellmewhat’sgoingon?”
“I’mseeingaguyatschool,Drew,sojustcalmdown,”shesaysbeforeIcanevengetinaword.

ShesaysitsogenuinelythatIwouldalmostbelieveherifIdidn’tknowanybetter.

“Who?”
“Youdon’tknowhim.Justsomeguyinmychemclass.”Shestabsherforkintothepastaandtakes

abite.

“Ithoughtyoutookchemlastyear?”heasks,narrowinghiseyesather.
IseeherthroatmoveassheswallowsandIcantellshe’snervous.IfeellikeIshouldsay

something,butIdon’twanttomakeDrewmoresuspiciousthanhealreadyis.

“Idid.That’swhenImethim.”
She’sblushing,butthankfullyDrewdoesn’tnotice.
“Well,what’shisname?”
“Whose?”
“Theguyyou’reseeing?”
Withoutthinking,Iblurtoutthefirstnamethatcomestomind.“Toby.”Isqueezemyeyesclosed

andcursetomyself.“He’skindofquiet.”

Shedoesn’tmakeeyecontactwithhimasshepicksatherfood.
“Youmeanadork?”Ispeakup,breakingtheawkwardtension.
Sheglaresatmerightoncue,andIwinkinherdirection.“Ifbydork,youmeanhasahigherIQ

thanyoucancount,thenyes.”

Ireleaseacoughtochokebackthelaughthatthreatenstorelease.Fuck,she’sgood—always

throwingshitrightbackatme.

“Isn’tCourtney’sboyfriendnamedToby?”Drewasks,breakingthespellbetweenus.
“Uh,yeah.Well,hewas.Theybrokeupawhileago.”Shegrabsherphone,andherfingersbegin

flyingoverthescreen.“ActuallyIwasgoingtoinviteherovertomeetGryff,ifyoudon’tmind.”

Drewshrugs,hismindsuddenlyoccupied,andIwanttohigh-fiveViolaforherquick,witty

answers.

Wefinisheatinginsilence,andIwatchasViolafeedsGryffscrapsoffherplate.Herphonedings

withmessagesfromCourtney.UsinghertosidetrackDrewwasbrilliantonViola’spart—another
reasontorewardherlater.

Justaswe’recleaningupthetable,Courtneywalksinandimmediatelysquealswhensheseesthe

puppy.

“Oh,myGod!”Shebendsdownandpickshimup.“He’ssocute!”
“Itoldyou!”Violabeams.
“Ijustwanttosmothermyfaceinhisfur!”
“Quitmakingitweird,Court.”Violalaughsandleadsthembothintothelivingroom,leaving

Drewandmealoneinthekitchen.

“So,thisthingwithMiaisreallybotheringyou,huh?”ItryandmakesmalltalkbecauseI’mnot

reallysureifhewantstotalkaboutherornot.

“Yeah,Ihaveafeelingit’ssomethingbad.Didshesayanythingtoyouthatnight?”
“Well,actually,there’ssomethingI’vebeentornabouttellingyouornot,butIfigureditwasbest

toletMiatellyouinstead.”

“Fuck,man.Idon’tknowifIcanwaitthatlong.Ican’tfocusonanything.”
BeforeIcanrespond,Courtneyletsoutaloudlaugh,directingusbothtowardthelivingroom.I

watchDrew’sfacialexpressionsoften,andIknowhecoulduseagooddistractionrightnow.

“I’mgoingtothepetstoretopickoutsometoysandfoodforGryff.He’llprobablyneed

somethingtodowhileyou’reatschool,”IsaytoViolaasIheadtowardthedoor,hopingshecatches
thehint.

ItakeastepbehindDrewandnodmyheadtowardhimandthenonceagainatCourtney.Viola

picksituprightawayandscramblestostandupquickly.

“It’smydog,andIwanttospoilhim,too.”
Iliftaneyebrowatherandalmostforgetthatwe’renotalone.“Ifyouwanttocome,I’llallowit.”
Shesmirksatmyinnuendo.“Ido,andI’lldrive.”

VIOLA

C:Didyouseriouslyinvitemeoverjusttoleavemealonewithyourbrother?!

“Shesoundspissed,”Travissays,laughingashereadshermessagesonmyphone.“WhatshouldI

respond?”

“Tellhertotaketheopportunityandseducehim.”
“I’mnotwritingthat,”hedeadpans.“I’lltellhertosendatitpic.”
Laughing,Ireachoverandgrabmyphonefromhishand.“Shutup.She’llbefine.”
Oncewearriveatthepetstore,TravisgrabsGryff’sleashandleadsusinside.Wepickouta

handfulofchewtoys,treats,dogfood,andalittlebed.

“Youknowhe’llprobablyneversleepinthat,”Itellhimaswecheckout.
“Whynot?”
“He’sapuppy!He’sgoingtowanttosleepnexttoawarmbody.”
“I’dpreferyourwarmbody.”
“I’msurehe’llletyouspoonhimwhenI’mgone.”
“Okay,fine.ButI’mcallingdibsonbeingthebigspoon.”
Wewalkoutofthestorewithalargebagofdogfoodandtwobagsfilledwithtoysandtreats.

“Handmeyourkeys,”Travissays,holdinghishandout.Idangletheminfrontofhim,andhegrabs
thembeforeIcanpullaway.“Nicetry,princess.NowIgettodrivethePrissyPrius.”

Iscowlathisnicknameformypreciouscar.“I’mgoingtoteachGryfftobiteyouanytimeyou

makeasnidecomment.”

“AndthenI’lljustunteachhim,andwhenyoucomeback,I’llhavetaughthimallkindsofgood

stufflikefetchingbeersfromthefridgeandtakingoutthetrash.”

“Geez,don’tsetyourstandardshighoranything.”IrollmyeyesasIgetintothepassengerside

withGryff.“Youthinkweshoulddrivearoundbeforegoingbackhome?”

“AreyouexpectingCourtneytomakehermovefinally?”heasks,turningthekeyandshifting

intogear.

“So,it’sthatobvious,huh?”
“NottoDrew,apparently.He’skindofblindedbythefogofMia.”
Isigh.“So,DrewreallyneveraskedaboutthatnightwithMia?”
IseehisthroattightenandIwonderifIhitanerve.“No.I’veofferedtotellhimeverything,but

sheshouldreallybetheoneto.”

“Doyouthinkshewill?”
“Honestly?No.”Heshrugs.“Ifshetriestopullanyofherusualshit,though,I’mtellinghim,

whetherhewantstohearitornot.”

Ipinchmylips,wantingtoaskhim,butnotwantingtosoundlikeIdon’ttrusthim.Miahasalways

beenuptonogood,butItrustTravis’judgment.

Insteadofsayinganything,IdistractmyselfwithmyphoneandseethatCourtneyhassentme

multipletextmessages.

Hehasthebestlaughever.*sigh*

OMGIwanttohavehisbabies.

Woulditbeweirdtocutapieceofhishairoffandsleepwithit?

Ourbabieswouldbesoprettywithmyblueeyesandhiswilddarkhair,don’tyouthink?

Hewinkedatme.

Ijustdied.

DIED.

DEAD.

“Goodlord,”Imurmur,shakingmyhead.“Courtneyshouldn’tbeleftalonewithDrew.Ialmost

feelbad.PerhapsIshould'vewarnedhimbeforeweleft...”

“Nah,it’sgoodforhim.”
“She’snotusuallythiscrazy,butshe’scrushedonhimsincethefirstdaytheymet.”
“Letmeguess.Drewbarelyflinched.”
“Prettymuch.Hewouldn’trecognizeflirtingifitsmackedhimintheface,pulledhishair,and

gavehimatittytwister.”

“Jesus.Remindmenottopissyouoff.”
Ishoothimalook,andhesmirksatme.
IsendCourtneyatext.

V:Codered:We’reonourwayback.Ifyou’renaked,warnusnow.

C:Ohlikeyouhaven’tseenmenakedbefore?

V:Well,Ididn’tplanonmakingitahabit.

C:Fine...butifyoumustknow,DrewandIareatleastanarm’slengthapart,soI’dsaythe
friendzonehasbeensetinplace.:(

“Hefriendzonedher,”ItellTravis,typingoutmyresponse.“Ifhersignswereanybrighter,he’d

goblind.”

“Should’veseenhimincollege,”hesnorts.“Girlswerenearlycrawlingathisfeet,andhewas

justsooblivioustoit.”

Inodinagreement.“Iimaginealotofbrokenheartsfollowed.”
“Yeah,that’swhythiswholethingwithMiapissesmeoff.Iwishhe’djustlethergoandmoveon.

She’sbadnews.”

Iswallowagain,fidgetingwithGryff’scollarasIthinkofawaytobringupthatnight.Figuring

thebestwayisjusttoripitofflikeaBand-Aid,Iask,“Hasshecheatedonhim?”Cringing,waiting
forhisreaction,Iwatchashisfingerstightenaroundthesteeringwheel.

“Sheclaimsshedidn’t,butshewaswithaguywhenIfoundher.”
Mybloodboils,andI’mtemptedtocallherupmyselfandtellhertostayawayfromDrew,but

knowingtheconnivingbitchsheis,shewouldn’t,justtopissmeoffevenmore.Inaweirdway,it’s
alsocomfortingtohearshewaswithanotherguy,whichsolidifiesmytrustforTravis.

“Notsurprised,”Isayonashallowbreath.
WepullintothedrivewayandTravistakesGryfffrommebeforegettingout.“Let’stakehimfor

awalk.”Heflashesaknowingsmileandwinks.

WesilentlywalkhandinhandasTravisholdsontohisleashwithhisfreehand.It’ssopeaceful

andeasy,andIalmostforgetDrewisinthehousesulking.

“I’mreallygoingtomissyouwhenyouleave,”hesaysinasofttone.Hedoesn’tlookatme,butI

canseethathismindisgoingathousandmilesaminute.

“I’mgoingtomissyou,too.”Isqueezemyhandinhis,lettinghimknoweverythingIdon’tknow

howtosay.“GryffwillliketakingallthesewalkswithyouwhenI’mgone.”

“He’llbeprettybigbythetimeyoureturn.”
“Maybeshowhimapictureofmeeveryfewdays,sohedoesn'tforget,”Isay,smilingandfinally

gettingalaughoutofhim.

“Icandothat,butjustknowthey’llbetheonesofyourtitsandass.”Hesmirks,andIplayfully

bumpmyhipintohis.

Wewalkafewmorestepsbeforehestopsandpullsmeintohischest.“IhopeyouknowIwould

waitforyou,evenifitwasayearorsixyears.Everydayyou’regoneisgoingtosuckmajorass,but
I’llbethinkingofyoueverysecond.”

“Youknowyoureallysuckatnotmakingmefeelguilty.”Ipout,stickingmylowerlipoutathim.
Heleansinandpullsitinbetweenhisteethbeforereleasingit.“Good.Iwanttheguilttoconsume

you.”Asmileplaysathislips,andIcan’tresistsmilingbackathim.

“It’sjustsixmonths,”Iremindhim.“That’seasypeasy.”
Hesighs,brushinghisthumbovermycheek.Hepressesasoftkisstomylips,andImeltintohim.

Gryffstartswhining,tanglinghisleashinbetweenourlegs.

Travisbreaksthekissanduntanglestheleashwhilemutteringafewcursewords.
“MaybeyoucantakehimtoafewofthosepuppyclassesandgethimalltrainedbeforeI’mback.”

Ismileatmybrilliantidea.

“Hemightneedmorethanjustafew.”Hegroans,adjustingtheleashagainandleadingusbackto

thehouse.

Courtneyisinheavenwhenwereturn,andshemakesmepromisetoinviteheroveragainsoonto

‘visitGryff.’TravisandIavoideachothertherestofthenightwhileIfinishlaundry.Drew’salready
suspicious,sothemoredistancebetweenusrightnow,thebetter.

Theweekendfliesby,withstudyingforfinalsandcomingovertoplaywithGryff.Fortunately,

Drewworksallweekend,sowedon’thavetopretendwhilewe’retogether.Hecontinueswallowing

aroundwhenhe’shome,soIdomybesttocheerhimupandcasuallymentionCourtneyin
conversation.Asexpected,hedoesn’ttakethebait,soI’mleftwatchinghimmopeonthecouch
instead.

ByTuesdaynight,Drewissodamnanxious;Ican’ttakeitanymore.Miaistoarriveanyminute,

andlikeusual,Isitonthecouch,pretendingtoactindifferent.Travishasbeenbringingsomeofhis
workfileshometolookbusywhileDrewishome.

“Dude,drinkthis,”IhearTravissay.IlookupandseehimhandingDrewashot.“You’rewound

uptighterthanaG-string.Youneedtorelax.”

“I’mtrying,”hesaysthroughclenchedteeth,takingtheshotandfinallypouringitdownhisthroat.

“ButIhaven’tseenherinsolong,andIhavenoideawhatshe’sgoingtosay,whichismakingme
anxiousashell.”

Hepatshimontheshoulderandpoursmorewhiskeyinhisshotglass.“Whateverhappens,man,

I’llbehere,okay?”

“Thanks.”Hepoursitdownandholdsitbackoutforarefill.
Tirescrunchinthedriveway,andwealllooktowardthedoor.Goosebumpscovermyskin,andI

can’thelpfeelingnervousforDrew.

“Doyouguysmindstayingoutherewhilewetalkinmyroom?”
“Whateveryouneed,”Travisanswers,walkingtowardGryffandmeonthecouch.Youcanbarely

seethefrontdoorfromthecouch.

Webothsitsilently,waitingtohearthefirstexchange.Drewopensthedoor,andwewait.Finally,

footstepsenterthehouse.HerheelsclickonthehardwoodfloorasDrewwrapshisarmsaroundher
foranawkwardhug.

“Howwasthedriveover?”Ihearhimask.Shemumblesaquietnotbad,andsoonDrewisleading

herdownthehalltohisroomandthenaclickofthedoor.

IglanceoveratTraviswholookslikehe’ssweatingandabouttovomit.EventhoughI’vetold

him—andmyself—overandoverthatItrusthimandthatwe’regoingtomakeitworkwhenI’m
gone,Ican’tdenytheheavyfeelinginsidemychestthatsomethingisn’tright.Partofmeregretsnot
hearingthewholestoryofthatnight,butprovingItrustedhimwascrucialforourrelationship.

WesitinsilenceaswewatchtheTVonalowvolume.Gryffisasleepinmylapandthesoundof

Drewswinginghisbedroomdooropenstartleshimawake.

“King!”
Ijumpatthevolumeofhisvoice.He’snotpissed;he’senraged.
Travisjumpsupandstartswalkingtowardthem.AsmuchasIwanttofollow,Istayput.Idon’t

needtobringattentiontothefactthatI’mfollowingTravisorthatI’meavesdroppingonthem.

“Thefuck?”IhearDrewshout.“Areyoufuckingkiddingme?”
Finally,Ican’ttakeitanylongerandsetGryffasideasIstandup.Itiptoeoutofthelivingroom

anddownthehallwhereIcanhearMiacryingandDrewyelling.

“That’snothowithappened,”IhearTravissay,defensiveandshort.
ItakeanotherfewstepsuntilIcanpeekthroughthedoorgapandlookinside.
“Thenpleaseenlightenme.”Drewcrosseshisarmsoverhischest,hisfeetplantedfirmlyonthe

floor,readyforafight.“Explainhowyourlipslandedonmygirlfriend’s.”

MyeyeswidenasIunintentionallyreleasealoudgasp.Allthreeofthemturntheirheadstoward

me,andbeforeIcancontrolit,tearsstartfallingdownmycheeks.Drewpushesthedooropenwider,
sothefourofusarenowinanawkwardcircle.

“Whatthehellareyoudoinginhere?”Miaaskswithascoff.Herfaceisred,andhercheeksare

puffy,butIdon’tbelieveherfakeperformanceonebit.

“Iheardyelling.Iwasjustmakingsureeverythingwasokay.”

“Everything’sfine,Viola,”Travissays,butIrefusetolookhimintheeyes.
Drewcockshisheadandstudiesmyface,andIknowhecanseerightthroughme.“You’vegotto

befuckingkiddingme!”heroars,turninghisheadtowardTravis.“Kissingmygirlfriendwasn’t
enough,youhadtonailmysister,too?”

Oh,myGod.
Thud.
Myheartispoundingsohard;Ibettheycanallfeelit.too.
Andasifthatrevelationwasn’tenough,Miaspeaksuponceagain.“Oh,hetriedmorethanthat.

WhydoyouthinkIwasstrippeddowntomypanties?”Thewordsleavehermouth,andIinstantly
wanttopummelherintotheground.

“Goodquestion,Travis.”DrewlooksatTravisagain,andIcanseethefirebrewinginhiseyes.

Hisbloodisboiling.“Butwhat’sevenabetterquestionishowthefuckcouldyoubetraymelike
that?”

BeforeTraviscananswer,Drewgrabshimbythecollarandpusheshimupagainstthedoor.“My

fuckingsister,man?”

“Drew,no!”Ireachout,butMiastepsinandblocksme.
“Whatthehellwereyouthinking?”Hepusheshisbodyintothedooronceagainbeforereleasing

him.“Iwould’veforgivenyoufortouchingMia,butmysister?”Heshakeshishead.“You’redeadto
me.”

TearswellonthebrimsofmyeyesandIcan’tholdthembackanymore.VisionsofhimandMia

instantlyfloodmymind,andIcan’ttakeitanymore.Irushdownthehall,grabbingmypurseand
shoesonmywayoutthedoor.

TravisyellsbehindmeasInearmycar.Iignorehimandthrowmyshitinthebackseatassoonas

Iunlockit.

“Viola,wait!Please!”Hegrabsmyelbowandspinsmearound.“Letmeexplain.”
“Idon’twanttohearanymoreliesfromyou.”Ipullmyarmoutofhisgrip.“Itrustedyou,”I

hiss.

“You’regoingtobelieveMiaoverme?”
“Soareyousayingyoutwodidn’tkiss?”Ichallenge.
Hebrushesahandthroughhishairashisjawticks.
“That’swhatIthought.”Iturnandreachforthedoorhandle,buthestopsmeonceagain.
“That’snothowithappened,Viola.”
Irollmyeyesandletoutanamusedchuckle.“Classic,Travis.Seriously.”
“Stopbeingsodamnstubbornforonce,”hegrowls.“Shekissedme,Viola.Nottheotherway

around.Ihavezerointerestinher.”

Ishakemyheadandnarrowmyeyesathim.“Thatdoesn’tevenmakesense.Eitheryoukissed,or

youdidn’t.”

“Okay,yes,butIdidn’tkissherback.Shethrewuponherdressandrippeditoff,soIhadherlay

inthebackseat.That’sallthathappened.Iswear,Viola.”

“Soyou’retellingmeyoutwodidn’tmakeoutinyourcar?Thesamecarwe’vebeentogether

in?”

Hisheadfallsback,andhegroansoutinfrustration.“Itwasn’tlikethat.”
“So,howcouldyounottellme?IsaidIdidn’tneedtohearthewholestorybecauseItrustedyou,

butIaskedifanythinghadhappenedbetweenyoutwoandyousaidno.Nowitlookslikeyouhad
somethingtohideafterall.”

“Becauseitwasnothing!ShegavemeakissIdidn’twantandnowshe’sallpissybecauseI

rejectedher.That’stheonlyreasonshe’ssayingthosethingsnow.”

“Evenifshe’stheonethatkissedyouandyoupushedheraway,that’smorethanjustnothing.

Especiallyconsideringshe’syourbestfriend’sgirlfriend.Thatshould’vebeensomethingyoutold
me.NowIstandherelikeanidiot,thinkingyouwerebeingonehundredpercenthonestwithme.”

“Becauseitmeantabsolutelynothingtome!Ididn’twantyoutoworryfornoreasonbecauseI

don’twantanythingtodowithher.Ineverhave.Idon’tcareabouther.You’reallIwant,Viola.”

“Well,thenit’sashameyougambledawaymytrustonsomeonethatmeantnothingtoyou.”
“Don’tsaythat,Viola.Please.Iwouldneverhurtyou.”Hegrabsmyhandandsecuresitbetween

bothofhisoverhischest.

“Youalreadyhave,Travis.”
“Viola,please.”
Tearsfalldownmycheeks,andIdon’tevenhaveenoughstrengthtowipethemaway.“Howcana

relationshipworkifthere’snotrust?”Iask,andhedoesn’tanswer.“Itcan’t.”Ipullmyhandback,and
hereluctantlyreleasesit.

“Iwilldowhateverittakestogainyourtrustback,butIpromise,youhavenothingtoworry

about.Theone-nightstands,thegirls,andguys’nightsout—I’mdonewithallthat.”

Ishakemyheadandclosemyeyes.“It’stoolate,Travis.Ican’tdothisagain.I’vegivenyoumy

heart,andhavebeeninlovewithyouforsolongthatIjustcan’tletyouthrowmeawayagain.”

“That’sthefirsttimeyou’veeversaidthat.”Hisvoiceislow,andwhenIlookbackupathim,I

canseehe’scrying,too.

“Andit’llbethelast.”
“Viola...”
Ireachforthedoorandslideinside,shuttingitbehindme.He’slookingatmewithhishands

behindhishead—hiseyesredandswollen—andIcan’tfightbackthetears.Ishiftthecarintoreverse,
andonceI’mable,Ishiftagainandwatchhiminmyrearviewmirror.He’sbentover,hisknees
supportingtheweightofhishandsasheshakeshishead.

Myheartislyinginthatdriveway,shatteredintoamillionpieces,andI’mnotsureit’lleverbeat

rightagain.

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

TRAVIS

Viola’sgraduationistonight,andshehasn’trespondedtoanyofmymessages,calls,oremails.It’s
beenoveraweek.It’skillingme.Ineedhersofuckingbad.ItfeelslikeIcan’tbreathewithoutherin
mylife.Asmuchasitmakesmesoundlikeapussyandanasshole,Idon’tthinkI’veevertrulyfelt
thiswaybefore.

AfterViolahadstormedout,DrewsentMiahome,andhe’sbarelylookedatmesince.Thefact

thathe’smorepissedaboutmebeingwithhissisterthanthesituationwithMiasaysalotabouttheir
relationship,butthatdoesn’tmatterbecauseshe’sfullofshit.Shealwayshasbeen.I’mpissedthatI
eversupportedtheirtoxicrelationshipbecausesomehowit’sbledintoandaffectedmyown.

Ontopofthat,Alyssahasstartedcomingaroundmyofficeagain,offeringmeher‘services,’and

it’stakenallofmywillpowertocalmlyaskhertoleaveinsteadofkickingherassoutlikeIsobadly
want.I’mactuallyproudofmyselfforkeepingmycomposure,consideringmyworldisrockingon
itsaxis.

Thisweekfuckingblows.
Andfuck!ImissViola.
Sheshouldbeherewiththisfuckingdogandme.Gryffwhinesallnightlong,wakesmeupat

leastthreetimestogooutside,andbarksateverycarorpersonthatgoesby.Thelittlefuckersleeps
alldayandthenwantstoplayalldamnnight.Ican’tevenbemadathimforbeingsodamnannoying
becauseheremindsmeofher.WhenIthinkabouthowmuchshelovedhim,itmakesmesmile.He
evenstillsmellslikeher,sowhenheclimbsuponmybedandnuzzleshiswayunderthecovers,I
wakeupwithherscentsurroundingme,andit’sfuckingtorture.

Nottryingtobeacrazyex,butsomehowseeminglikeone,Iparkedoutsideherdormonenight,

hopingI’dcatchherwalkinginorout,butsheneverdid.I’mnotsurewhatIwouldhavesaidtoher
anyway,soit’sprobablybestshedidn’t.Ifigureshe’sprobablystayingwithCourtney,butIdon’t
knowwhereshelives,soI’mstuckbeggingovervoicemailforhertoreturnmycalls.I’veleftso
manymessagesthathervoicemaileventuallybecametoofulltoreceiveanymore.

Ineedhertoletmeexplain,totellherthewholetruthandnotMia’stwistedversionofthetruth.

Shehaseveryrighttobemadatme,butIcan’tbearthethoughtofherflyingacrossthecountry
withoutseeingorspeakingwithherfirst.SoeventhoughDrewhasmadehisfeelingsloudandclear
tomecomingtoherceremonytonight,hecan’tstopme.Theirfamilyiscoming,too,soit’snotlike
she’llbeabletodenymyexistence.

I’mgonebeforehearriveshomeandfindmyselfmindlesslydrivingaroundbeforeIendupatthe

parkinglotwithadozenredrosesandacard.Iscribbleanoteinsidethecardandwillgiveittoher
whethershewantsitornot.

There’ssomanysmilingfaceswalkingintotheauditorium,andItryreallyhardtoplaythepart.

AlumpformsinmythroatknowingIwillseeherforthefirsttimeinoveraweek.Overtheyears,
I’vegivenheramillionreasonsnottotrustme;butthistime,myinnocenceissofuckingtragicthat
Shakespearecouldhavewrittenit.

Rightbeforetheceremonystarts,Ifindaplacetosit.Thevenueiscrowded,andlotsofpeopleare

holdingsignsfortheirlovedones.Afterthecommencementspeech,theannouncerbeginscalling
namesbydepartments.MybodygoesrigidwhenIhearViolaFisherfollowedbySummaCumLaude.
NotthatIeverdoubtedher,butshereceivedthehighesthonorsandI’mgenuinelyhappyforherand
soproud.Thesmileonherfacegrows,andthetearsinhereyesformasshewalksacrossthatstage.
She’swantedthisforsolong,andnowthetimehascome.Iwouldn’thavemissedthismomentforthe
world.

Hootingandholleringandsoundsfromairhornscomefromanoppositecorneroftheroom,and

IinstantlyspotViola’sparentsandDrew.Anditfuckinghurtsnottobesittingwiththem.They’ve
alwaysbeenmysecondfamily,andnowI’mtheoutcast.

Violaseesthem,raisesherdiplomawithafistpump,andwalksbacktoherchair.Ontopofher

graduationcap,I’mprettysureitsaysMischiefManagedingoldenletters.Ican’thelpbutlaughather
HarryPotternerdiness.

ThenextnamethatstrikesmyattentionisCourtneyBishop,MagnaCumLaude.Holyshit,she’sa

littlenerd,too.Well,whowould’veguessedthat?Courtneywalksacrossthestagewithherlong
blondehairinwavesandbighighheels,andshetreatsitlikeacatwalk.Abunchofhigh-pitched
whistlesringoutclosetome,andIturnandseewhatmustbeherentirefamily.Mostofthemenare
wearingcowboyhats,andthewomen’shairisheavenhigh.Ican’thelpbutchuckle.

Oncethestudentsexit,IwatchViolaglancearoundtheroom,asifshe’slookingforsomeone.

Me,maybe?Iwanttostandupandyellhername,butIstopmyself.Thetimebeginstopassquicker,
knowingIwillseeherface-to-faceinamatterofminutes.IwatchDrewandhisdadmaketheirway
downthestairs,followedbyViola’smomandstepdad.Thoughtherearetonsofpeopleintheroom,I
keepmyeyesonthem,knowingViolawillbesearchingforthem,too.Iheadoutsidewhereeveryone
ishuddled,waitingfortheirlovedones,andwhenIturnthecorner,Iseeher.Oureyeslockandthe
smileonherfacefades.It’sjustthetwoofusinaseaofpeople,andallIwanttodoiskissthefuck
outofher.Instead,Ituckmylipsinsidemymouthandforcemywaythroughthecrowdtowardher.
Shegentlyshakesherhead,givingmeasilentwarning,butIdon’tcare.

BeforeI’mabletomutteraword,DrewstepsupandhugsViola,pretendingI’mnotthere.Viola

looksathimandlooksatme,anditbreaksmyfuckingheartthatshe’sinthissituation,whichwas
exactlywhatshewasworriedabout.Apparently,I’maliarandbetrayedmybestfriend.Itwasnever
supposedtoendthisway.

IhandhertherosesandthecardandgiveherahugregardlessofhowstiffherbodygoeswhenI

touchher.“Congrats,princess,”Iwhisperinherear,beforereleasingherandwalkingaway.Asmuch
asIwanttohangaround,leavingwasthebestthingIcoulddobecauseherparentswouldforcemeto
stayoncetheysawme.ThelastthingI’deverwantistoruinherspecialday.

BythetimeIgetbacktomycar,andI’moutoftheparkinglot,Ifeellikeamillionpoundsare

sittingdirectlyonmychest.IfIhadtheabilitytogobackintimeandtellhereverydetailfromthe
nightoftheaccident,Iwould,butweallknowthatonlyhappensinthemovies.Where’sadamntime-
turnerwhenyouneedone?

Idrivetothecampuscoffeeshopandorderoneofthoseorganicsoyshitcoffeesandsitata

secludedtableawayfromthedudereadingpoetryaboutbrokenhearts.RegardlessofhowlostIfeel
atthemoment,Istillfindmyselfrollingmyeyes.Eachtimethebellabovethedoorringsout,Ilook
up,hopingit’sViola.Afteranhourpasses,Idrivebacktothehouse,gotomyroom,andshutthe
door.

Gryffissohappytoseeme,andIfeelbadforpushinghimaway.Ilieonmybed,turnontheTV,

andhetuckshimselfbesideme.

“It’sjustyouandmebuddy,”IsayasIpethislittlehead.“Butshe’llbeback.”

VIOLA

I’mabigballofemotions.Betweenallthechangesinmylife,graduation,moving,andthebreak

up,I’mamess.I’vefelteveryemotionthatexistsinthelasttendaysasifI’mcheckingthemoffa
masterlist.Atfirst,Iwashurt,distraught,andupset,whichtransformedintomebeinglividaboutthe
entiresituation.Then,IwantedtopullaCourtneyandgoallcrazyex-girlfriendonhisass.Hisnew
Challengeralmostgotadozeneggscrackedacrossitsshinyblackpaint,butinstead,Ikeptmy
distance.Itwasthebestthingformetodo.IavoidedDrew’shouseliketheplagueandevendid
laundryatCourtney’sthisweek.ButImissmyroutineandpoorlittleGryff.

Drewhasn’tbeenabletolookmeintheeye,andI’mjustaspissedathimasheisatme.Iwantto

stranglehim.AndI’vealreadywarnedhimthatifheevenmentionsMia’snamearoundme,hebetter
callforbackupbecausehispolicebuddiesaretheonlyonesthat’llbeabletosavehim.She’saliar
andacheater,andshe’sfullofmisery.Iwillnolongersitbyandtakeit.Hebarelyacknowledgesmy
existence,andIwon’tacceptMiaandhim,sowe’reatanimpasse.

Aftergraduation,ourparentstakeustodinner,andit’sawkwardashell.Afterward,IdriveDrew

backtohistruck,andweexchangeafewsentenceswithoneanother,butthat’sit.Ihatethathe’spissed
atTravisandme,butwhatIhateevenmoreishisstubbornnessaboutthewholesituation.AsIpullup
tohistruck,heturnsandlooksatme,butIspeakfirst.

“Areyougoingtokeepactinglikeabigol’babyuntilIleave?”Iaskhimdirectly.
Herollshiseyesatme.“Mybestfriend,Viola.Why?”Thehurtinhistonedoesn’tgounnoticed,

andguiltwashesovermeagain.It’sadirtysensation.

“Pleasedon’tbemadatme.It’skillingmetoknowyou’rethrowingawayyourrelationshipwith

meandyourbestfriend.”

“Idon’thateyou,Vi.I’mjustagitated.Irealizeyou’releaving.You’regrowingup,andIwon’tbe

aroundtoprotectyou.AllI’veeverwantedisforyoutobehappy.That’sallI’veeverwantedfor
Travis,too.Butyoubothfelttheneedtolietome.TwopeopleItrustedwithmylifebothsnuck
aroundbehindmybacktogetherandbetrayedme.Ishould’verealizeditwhenyougotthatfucking
puppy.”Heshakeshisheadwithanaggravatedsigh.

Lowblow.Gryffwasathankyougift,butIwon’tcorrecthimrightnow.It’sthefirsttimehe’s

admittedanyofthat,andIhatethatit’scometothis—thathe’shurtingbecauseofouractions.It’s
everythingIwantedtoavoidinthefirstplace,butIknowmyactionshaveconsequences.

“I’mnotalittlegirlanymore,Drew,”Isaywhenhefinallylooksupatme.“Justsoyouknow,

Traviswantedtotellyourightaway,butIaskedhimnottobecauseIwantedthetimingtoberight.”I
letoutasarcasticlaughasifthetimingwouldeverberight.

Heshrugs,unaffected.“Hebrokethebrocodeonsomanylevels,Vi.Youdon’tmessaroundwith

yourfriend’ssisterbehindtheirback—noexceptions,”hestatesfirmly.

“Iknow.Butyouwon’thavetoworryaboutitagainbecauseI’mleavinganyway.EverythingI

lovewillbeinCali,andI’llbethousandsofmilesaway.I’msorry.Withgraduationandthe
internship,Iwasbusyfocusingonthat.”Myeyesbegintowater,andI’mallowingmyemotionsto
slipagain.Iwipeatearthatstreamsdownmyfaceandtrytocomposemyself.

“Itwasalotformetodealwith.So,please,ifyou’regoingtobepissedatsomeonefornot

knowing,directyourangertowardme.AsmuchasIwanttoblamehim,it’snotTravis’fault.Inever
wantedorintendedtohurtyou,Drew.You’remybigbrother.Myhero.Oneofmybestfriends,andas
muchasyoupissmeoff,Iloveyou.I’mreallysorryithappenedthisway,butIcan’tbesorryit
happened,evenifitwasabigmistake.”

Drewsitsthereforasecond,lookingstraightoutthewindowasifhe’sabsorbingallofmy

words.Heletsoutasighandthenasmallchuckle.“You’restillanerdylittlebrat;youknowthat?”

“Andyou’regoingtomissmewhenI’mgone.Areweokay?”
“Iforgiveyouthisoncebutonlybecausewe’refamilyandMomsaysIhavetolikeyou.”Drew

jokesjustlikeheusedtowhenwewereyounger.Iletoutasigh,knowingwe’regoingtobeokay.His
phonevibratesinhispocket,andashepullsitout,IglancedownandseeMia’scalling.

“I’llseeyoulater,sis.”Hegetsoutandanswersitimmediately.
Evenafterallthetroubleshe’sstarted,Miastillhasthisholdoverhim.Iwishhecouldsee

throughthebullshit,butperspectiveiseverything,andIcan’tbeahypocrite.

BeforeIputthecarindrive,IcatchthesweetsmelloftherosesTravisgaveme.Thoughhe

shouldn’thave,I’mgladhewastheretoacknowledgetheaccomplishment.Itmeantalot,butIdon’t
havethewordstotellhimthatyet.Myheartstillhurts,andI’mstilllearningtopushallofthe
memorieswespenttogethertotheside.Theysaydistancemakestheheartgrowfonder,butapartof
mepraysthatdistancewillhelpmeforget.

Ireachinthebackseatfortheredenvelope.Thefronthasacouplekissingincolorwhiletherest

oftheimageisinblackandwhite.Inside,thecardisblank,butinalluppercaseletters,hewrote:
CONGRATULATIONS,PRINCESS!I’MSOPROUDOFYOU!GRYFF&ILOVEYOU!

Belowthatisanoteinhissignaturescribblehandwriting.Istillplanondrivingyoutotheairport

soIcanseeyouonelasttimebeforeyouleave.Imissyou.Imissus.

ForamomentIclosemyeyesandcansmellthehintofhiscologneonthecard.
Ipeelmyeyesopenandstudyitforamomentlongerbeforeshovingitbackintotheenvelopeand

settingitinmymiddleconsole.

Thinkingabouthiswrittenmessage,Ifeeltorn.We’dplannedonhimtakingmesothatwecould

spendthoselastmomentstogether,butnowI’msecond-guessingthatplan.I’mafraidIwon’twantto
leaveifIseehimagain.Maybeacleanbreakiswhatwebothneed.

AssoonasIpulluptomydorm,IgetatextfromCourtney.
C:Drinkstonight?

V:HowaboutIwatchyoudrink?I’mnotinthemood.Ihavetostartpacking.

C:DEAL!Bethereinanhour,afterIditchmyfamily.

Iwalkinsidewiththerosesandcard.Iplacetheflowersinavaseandleanagainstthecounterand

lookaroundateverythingI’mleaving.Afterafewmoreminutes,IgotomyroomtomakesureI
didn’tforgettopackanything.Thefewboxesstackedagainstthewallwillbeshippedtomynew
apartmentonMonday.Otherthanafewmorebooksandclothes,everythingisreadytogo.Butit’s
easymovingwhenmostofthefurnitureisscrewedtothewallandfloor.

It’sfunnyhowtimeseemstocrawlby,theninablinkofaneye,it’slikeyearshavepassed.

Collegehasbeenmylifeforthelastfouryears,andit’sbittersweettobeleaving,tobeopeninganew
chapterinmylife.

ApoundonthedoorletsmeknowCourtneyhasarrived,andIcan’thelpbutshakemyheadasI

rushtothedoor.WhenIopenit,she’sstillwearingthetightlittleblackdressshehadonunderher
graduationgownandhighheelsthatmakehertoweroverme.

“Well,comeon,IneedastiffdrinkafterdealingwiththeBeverlyHillbillies.Oh,youdidn’tknow

theycamefromTexastoCalifornia?”

Ilaugh.“I’msurethey’renotthatbad.”

Sheplayfullyrollshereyesandstepsinside,noticingtheflowersonthecounter.“Oh,myGod.

Yougotroses?Seriously?Fromwho?”

Myeyesmeethers,andIdon’tevenhavetosay.Sheimmediatelyknows.
“Maybeyoushouldtalktohim?”
“NoteamTraviolatalktonight.”MywordscomeoutharsherthanIintendthemto.Courtgives

measmallsmileandnodsherhead.Eversincethatnight,Ihaven’tbeenabletotalkabouthim,but
thewholeout-of-sight,out-of-mindthingistotalbullshit.Often,whenI’malone,Ifindmyself
wonderingwhathe’sdoingandI’msotemptedtotexthim,butIdon’t.Myheartissoreadytobetray
mymind,butIcan’t.Ineedtofocusonmyfuturewhilelearningtobealone.

“Comeon.”CourtneyloopsherarmswithmineanddragsmetotheJeep.I’mgoingtomissthis

sodamnmuch,anditmakesmesadthatshewon’tbeabletocapturemewhenevershewants.Asshe
startsit,shebendsdownandyanksoffherheels,throwingtheminthebackseat.“Thosefucking
heels...”

Thetopisdown,andthewindisblowingthroughmyhair.Courtneyissingingatthetopofher

lungs,drivingwaytoofast,andallIcandoissmile.

“Wherearewegoing?”Iask.
“CheesecakeFactory?”
“Youmustwanttomakeittosecondbasetonight.”Ijokewithherbecausethisiswhereallthe

collegeguysbringtheirgirlfriendsfordatenightwhentheywantbrowniepointstoredeemlaterat
night.

Shepullsintotheparkinglotandreachesinthebackforherheels.“IfwewereinTexas,I’djust

gobarefoot.”

“You’reridiculous.”Ilaugh.
“Ithappensallthetime.Youhavenoidea.”
Wewalkinside,andsheleadsmestraighttothebar.Beforesheevensitsdown,she’sorderinga

Martini.IorderwaterandapieceofGodivachocolatecheesecake.Chocolatefixesallwounds.

“Whatareyougoingtodonow?”Iaskherwhenthewaiterslidesthesliceofheaveninfrontof

me.Shegrabsmyforkandtakesabite.“Yup,diedandwenttoheaven.”Shesmiles,butthenfrowns.
“Honestly?”

Inod.
“Ihavenoidea.JustthoughtI’dkindofwingit.Myleasedoesn’tenduntiltheendoftheyear.”

Sheshrugs.“Notsure.”

“Youstressmeout.”Ilaugh.“Yourgradeswerenearlyperfect.Youcouldgetajobanywhere.”
Shenudgesme.“Yourgradeswereperfect.I’lljustlivelifevicariouslythroughyou.”
Aftershefinishesmycheesecakeandherdrink,webothstartyawning.Whowouldhavethought

graduationwouldbesotiring?Wedrivebacktomydorm,andbeforeIgetout,Iturnandlookather.
Thisoverwhelmingsenseofsadnesstakescontrol,andIleanoverandgiveherasidehug.Courtney
unbucklesandpullsmeintoabighugandwrapsbotharmsaroundme.Ilaugh,thinkingabouthow
muchwelooklikelovers,butit’snotevenlikethat.She’sthesisterIalwayswishedIhad.

“I’mgoingtomissthefuckoutofyou,Lola.”
“I’mgoingtomissyoutoo,Court.”
“Who’sgoingtokeepmesanewhenyou’regone?”Webreakourhug.
“MaybeI’llgetDrewto,”Isaywithasmile.
Hereyeswiden,andIgetoutoftheJeep.“Don’tyoudareteasemelikethat!”
“WhosaidIwasteasing?Bye!”
ShesmilesandreversestheJeepsohardthetiressqueal.IhearTaylorSwiftblaringinthe

distance,andIknowthatitmightbethelasttimewegettohangoutbeforeIleave.I’mstill

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

TRAVIS

Anotherdreadfuldayattheofficehasmesecond-guessingreturningearlyinthefirstplace.Ifeel
fine,buttheawkwardtensionbetweenBlakeandmeisundeniable.Alyssawalksbymyoffice,licks
herlips,andpullsherskirtupjustbeforewalkingoff.

Iknowthetwoofthemarestillplottingsomethingagainstme,especiallynowthatAlyssais

officiallytheDirectorofGlobalSales.I’msotiredoftheirshitthatI’vebeenthinkingmoreand
moreaboutmymother ’sideaofstartingmyownsmallmarketingfirm.Thethoughtscarestheshit
outofme,butIknowit’dbeagreatinvestmentformyfuture,andthemoreIthinkaboutViolabeing
myfuture,themoreIwanttomakethebestofit.

Icallmymomonmywayhomefromwork,readytotalkaboutthisbusinessopportunity.It’s

beenagoodwaytobondwithouttalkingabouttheelephantintheroom—myfather ’scancer—andif
I’mgoingtovisithimanytimesoon.

Theverdict:undecided.
“Ifyouneedaloanforthestart-upcosts,myofferstillstands,”shetellsmeagain.
“Iknow,Mom,andIappreciatethat.IjustthinkthisissomethingIneedtodomyself.Grown-up

stuff,youknow?”

“Youmaybeatwenty-four-year-oldman,butyou’llalwaysbemylittleboy,Travis.”
Ismileandshakemyhead,eventhoughshecan’tseeme.“Iknow.”
OnceIpullintothedriveway,wesayourgoodbyes,andI’mactuallyrelievedtoseethatDrewis

homealready.It’sbeenoveraweeksinceI’veseenViolaafterhergraduationceremony,andbetween
workandGryff,I’vestayedplentybusy,butIstillmissherlikecrazy.Thingshaven’texactly
smoothedoverbetweenDrewandmeeither.Ihateallthetensionbetweenus,butI’mhopingwecan
resolvethatsoon.Ibetrayedhistrust,andI’mwillingtodowhateverittakestofixthat.Ontheother
hand,I’mworriedViolaandIwillneverbethesameagain.

AssoonasIopenthedoor,Gryffrunstomeandstartslickingmyfaceimmediately.Ipethishead

andbackbeforesettinghimbackdown.

“Who’sagoodboy?”Isayinanembarrassing,high-pitchedtonethatViolaconvincedmehe

liked.HefollowsmeasIwalkfartherinside.

“Hey,man,”IsayasIstepintothekitchen,wherehe’ssteamingvegetables.“Ugh,man.Smells

likeassinhere.”

“Freshvegetables,”heclarifies.“Mealpreppingforthenextweek.”
Drewisasobsessedaboutwhatheeatsasmuchasheisaboutworkingout.Igivehimpropsfor

stickingtoit,butIwoulddieifIcouldn’tbingeeveryonceinawhile.

“Chickenandveggies.Soundsdelicious,”Isaywithamockingtone.HeknowsI’mgivinghim

shit,buthedoesn’tfireback.

“Yougetusedtoit.”
“So,IwasthinkingwithViolaleavingnextweekendthatweshouldsitdownandtalk.Get

everythingoutintheopen,becauseIhatethisawkwardtensionbetweenus.Iwanttotellyou

everythingaboutthatnightandtheactualtruthofevents.Iknowitwon’tchangewhat’salready
happened,butIwantustomoveforward.”

Iwatchashedigestsmywords.Hesprinklesseasoningsovertheveggiesandplacesthelidback

onthepot.Heturnsaroundandfinallylooksatme,uncertaintyetchedalloverhisfeatures,andI
worryaboutwhathe’sabouttosay.

“Violaalreadyleft.”Hiswordshitmelikeatonofbricks,yetIcan’tcomprehendthem.
“Wait,what?”
“Shelefttwodaysago.Bookedanearlierflight.”
Iblink,mymindracingandIcan’tthinkstraight.Shewasn’tsupposedtoleaveuntilnextweekend.
“Why?Youdidn’ttellme.She...”IlosemywordsasIfightbacktheangerthat’sbrewinginside

me.

“Sorry,man.Sheaskedmenottosayanything.Shesaidshehadtoleaveandstartfresh.”Icantell

heknowsthisishittingmehardasherestsahandonmyshoulder.“Wehadtalkedbeforesheleft,and
Iknowthatwhatyoutwohadwasrealandthatyoubothhadstrongfeelingsforeachother,butshe’ll
alwaysmakeherfutureapriorityovereveryoneinherlife.She’salwaysbeenthatway.”

“Iwassupportiveofthat,butwe’dplannedonmetakinghertotheairport,atleast.Ididn’teven

gettosaygoodbye.”

“Idon’tthinksheknewhowtosaygoodbyetoyou.”
Gryffbeginspawingatmyslacks,directingmyattentiondowntohim.IknewshelovedGryffand

would’vewantedtoseehimonelasttime,sothefactthatshejustleftbothofusbehindleavesme
almostspeechless.

“So,Iguessthatmeansshedoesn’twanttotalktomeeither?”Imutter,mostlytomyself,butI

knowDrewheardme.

“Givehersometimetoadjust,andthentryreachingouttoher.Shemightcomearound.You

neverknow,”Drewoffers.

Ihopehe’sright.
Ican’tfathomnottalkingtoherforsixmonths.Butwhatifshemeetssomeoneelseandforgets

aboutuscompletely?

Thefollowingday,Drewisoffwork,andItaketheopportunitytositdownwithhim.Iwantthe
chancetoexplainthatnight,andwhyIkeptthetruthaboutMiaandViolafromhim.Iknowwhat’s
doneisdone,butwehaveahistory,andIcan’tletsomethinglikethisburdenourfriendship.

“So,whatdoyouknow?Orrather,whatalldidMiatellyou?”
“Wehaven’tspokenmuchsincethatnight.She’scalledme,butthereweren’tmanydetails.She

stillclaimsyoumadeamove,strippedherdown,andthenclimbedintothebackseatwithherand
startedmessingaround.”

Icringeathiswords.Themerethoughtofthathappeningsickensme.
“Fuckinghell,Drew,”Imutter,brushingmypalmsalongthethighsofmyjeans.“Inevertouched

her.”

“Ican’tsayI’dbesurprisedifthat’sthetruth.ButMiahasnoreasontolie.”
“Miadoesn’tneedadamnreasontolie,Drew!She’sapsycho!Shewantedtohurtyou,andfor

somereasonwantedtothrowmeunderthebusforherownpersonalamusement.”

“I’mnotsayingIbelievedher.Butconsideringyourhistory,andthenfindingoutyouhookedup

withViola,itjustmadeherstorymorebelievable.”

“Look,IknowI’mfarfromperfect,andIhavemyfairshareoffuckupswhenitcomestochicks,

butIwanttobewithViolaandheronly.WhenIranintoMia,shewaswithanotherguy,andhewas

screaminginherface.Hehitme,man.I’mprettysuremyribswerebrokenbeforetheaccident.Igot
heroutofthere,andshestartedfreakingout,soIpulledoverintoagasstationparkinglot.Itriedto
calmherdown,andthenextthingIknow,she’scomingatme.Ididn’tkissherback,andIguessshe
feltrejectedbecauseshecameupwithsomebullshitliethatItouchedher.”

Drew’ssoakingupmywordsashisexpressiontightens.Iknowhedoesn’twanttohearaboutMia

beingwithanotherguy,anymorethanI’dwanttohearthataboutViola,butheneedstohearthetruth.

“So,how’dsheendupnakedinyourbackseat?”
“OnceIpushedherbackandtoldherIwasinlovewithsomeoneelse,shegotallhysterical.She

wasalreadyfreakingoutaboutthefightatthediner,andwasfeelingsick,andthenextthingIknow
shepukesalloverherself.Igavehermyshirttocleanup,butitwasalloverherdress.Itoldhertolie
downinthebackandsettleherstomach.Ididn’thaveanyblankets,soshejusttookthedressoff.”

HenodsasIfinishthestory.“Idon’trememberanythingafterthat,butIswearonmylifethatI

wouldnevertouchMia.Violaownsmyheart,andI’mprettysureshealwayshas.”

Helooksupandsmilesatme.“Well,youbetterbesuretowinherbackthen.”
“Trustme.Iwon’tstopuntilIdo.”

Overtheweekend,Idriveuptomychildhoodhome.Ididn’tcallandgivemymotheraheads-up
becauseIkeptchangingmymind.ThecloserIgot,themorenervousIfelt.Ihadn’tseenmydadin
years,andIwasn’tsurewhattoexpectnowthathewassick,butIfeltitwassomethingIneededtodo.
Atleastformymom’ssake.

“Travis!”shesquealsthemomentsheopensthedoorandseesme.“Ican’tbelieveyou’rehere!”

Shetakesastepforwardandwrapsherarmsaroundme.

Ismileasshesqueezesmeatadtootight.ShenoticesIwinceandquicklystepsback.“Sorry,I’m

justsoexcitedyou’rehere.”

Shruggingwithaguiltysmile,Isay,“Well,Ifigureditwasfinallytimetocomehome.”
Sheleadsmeinside,andIfollow.Everythinglooksthesame,anditfeelslikeI’mwalking

throughatimecapsulefrommychildhood.Myfatherissittinginthelivingroominthesamechair
he’salwayssatin,usuallywithasix-packandtheremote,butthistimehe’swithamagazineanda
glassoficewater.

“Lookwhocameforavisit,”mymothersays,grabbinghisattentionuptomine.Hisreactionis

clear.He’scompletelyshocked,buthedoesn’tmakethefirstmovetospeak.

“Hi,Dad.”
“Son.”Henods.“Youlookgood.”
“Thanks.”Ifollowmymother ’sleadandsitonthesofaacrossfromhim.“Youdo,too.”Thefirst

thingInoticeaboutmyfatheristhathe’ssober.Ithinkit’sthefirsttimeinmylifeI’veseenhim
sober.

“WishIcouldsayIfeelasgoodasIlook,but...”
“Yeah,Momtoldme.”Ibrushahandovermyjawline.“What’sthediagnosis?”
“Stagefourcancer.”HesaysitascasuallyasifIwereaskinghimabouttheweather.Helookslike

he’sacceptedthetermsofhisdestiny,butwhenIglanceoveratmymotherandseeherfrown,it’s
obviousshehasn’t.Iknowshelovesmyfatherandwillgothroughthiswithhimuntiltheend,butI
wishhehadtreatedherbettertomeritsuchloyalty.

Wespendtheafternoontalkingoverlunch.It’sbeenyearssinceI’vefeltlikeI’vehadafamily,

andeventhoughIstillhavealotofresentmenttowardhim,I’mgladIcame.Iknowmymomis
goingtoneedalotofsupport,whethershewantstoadmititornot.

VIOLA

It’sbeenaweeksinceI’vearrivedinBoston,whichisbeautifulinthesummer,butI’mstill

sufferingfromthejetlag.Thethree-hourtimedifferencehasmessedwithmysleepingschedule,and
I’msoexhausted.I’vebeenstrugglingtowakeuptomyalarmeverymorning.I’vealsobeen
sufferingfromtheseannoyingheadachesandnausea.Ilookeditup,andIguessit’sprettycommonif
youexperiencejetlag,soI’mhopingmybodygetsusedtoitsoon.Eitherthatorthenervesare
wreakinghavoconmyentirebody.

EventextingDreworCourtneyisbecomingachallenge.WhenI’mupandreadyforworkat

eight,they’restillinbedandbarelyfunctioning.I’velearnednottoexpectaresponsefromCourtney
untilmylunchbreak.

Ionlybroughttheessentialswithme,sounpackingwasabreeze.Imanagedtofindafurnished

studioapartment,andwiththecompany’spaymentplan,it’sactuallyaffordable.It’sonlyfourhundred
squarefeet,butit’scuteandworksforme.ThedayafterIarrived,IFaceTimedCourtneyandshowed
heraround.ShenearlygaspedwhenIshowedherthetinybathroom.

“Canyouevenpeeinthere?”SheaskedasIgaveherthetour.Theanswerisyes,butit’snoteasy.

Thedoorhastobeleftopen.Otherwise,mykneeshitthepaneling.

Thekitchenisn’takitchenatall,butratherakitchenettewithatinysink,aminifridge,andaone-

burnerstove.Itdoublesasmybedroom,whichisfinebymesinceI’monlyhometosleeporshower
anyway.ButtheonebonusistherooftopdeckandcommunitygardenIgettouse.

I’vebeenatthefirmfivedaysnow,whichisterrifyingandexcitingallatonce.Myboss,Henry

O’Connor,isextremelyintimidating.Idomostofthebitchwork,butIknowonceIprovemyself,I’ll
beabletohandlesomegroupprojects.

BythetimemydayendsandImakeitbacktomylittleholeofanapartment,it’safterseven.I’m

exhaustedandhungry,andtheonlythingthatkeepsmesaneistalkingtoCourtneythroughouttheday.
Drewchecksinonmeeverycoupleofdays,andIknowhe’sworriedaboutme,butIneedtoproveto
himandmyselfthatI’mcapableofdoingthis.Ilefthomeateighteen,graduatedcollegewithhonors,
andnowI’mreadyforwhatevertherealworldthrowsatme.

C:It’sbeenyearssinceI’vegottenlaid.Myvaginaisstartingtoprune.

ThefirstthingIseewhenIwakeupisatextmessagefromCourtney,fromthenightbefore.I

laughandsendheratextback.

V:Ithasnotbeenyears,andunlessyou’vebeensoakingitinhotwaterformonths,Idoubtit’s
pruney.

Surprisingly,shemessagesmebackbeforeIevenrolloutofbed.

C:Well,itsurefeelslikeyears.Atthispoint,I’dbeluckytoevenrememberhowtodoit.

Isnortatherdramatics.

V:Idon’tknow...Ibetit’sjustlikeridingabike.Yourvagina’sinstinctswillkickinandyou’llbe
dryhumpinginnotime.

C:Noonesaysdryhumpinganymore,Lola.Plus,don’tteasemewiththatshit...youeitherput
outorGTFO.

Buryingmyheadintomypillow,Ilaugh,anditfeelsgood.

V:Ineedtogetreadyforwork.Buyyourselfadildoandgetsomepracticein.Talklater!

OnceI’mhalf-readyandoutthedoor,Ihailacabandfinishmymakeupasweswervearoundthe

traffic.UnionInternationalisrightintheheartofthecity,sotherearealotofplaceswithinwalking
distanceforlunchorcoffee,whichisnice.

TherearefourotherinternsIworkwith,butonlytwoofusworkforMr.O’Connor.Hisnameis

Liam,andhe’sfromMiami.He’sbeensupersweetandhelpfulasI’veadjustedtoeverythingaround
thefirm.

“So,anybigplansforyourfirstofficialweekendhere?”heasksaswestepintotheelevator.
“No,notreally.UnlessyouconsiderFaceTimingmybestfriendandreadingbigplans?”Isay

withaneasylaugh.

“Wellifyourbigplansfallthrough,I’mmeetingupwithsomefriendsforadrinkdowntownif

youfeellikejoining.Here,I’llgiveyoumynumber.”Heholdshishandout,waitingformyphone.

Instinctively,Iunlockitandhanditover.Ifigureitcan’thurttohaveafriendaroundhere,

especiallyifI’mgoingtobehereforsixmonthsorlonger.

“Awesome,thanks,”Isayashehandsitback.
“Itextedmyselffromyourphone,soIhaveyourstoo,justincase.”
Inod,unsureofwhattosay.Idon’twanttoassumehe’shittingonmebecauseIhavenointentions

ofhookingupwithanyonewhileI’mhere,especiallysomeonefromtheoffice.I’vebeenthinking
aboutTravisnonstopsinceIleft.Ifeelguiltyforleavingwithoutsayinggoodbye,butIknewIhadto.
IknewifIsawhim,IwouldrunintohisarmsandnevergetonthatplaneregardlessofhowhurtI
was.Icouldn’tletaguygetinthewayofmyfuture,notafterallthehardworkI’veputinandallthe
goalsI’vesetformyself.Traviswillalwayshavemyheart,butfornow,Ineedtostayfocusedonme.
Ifwehaveanythingworthsaving,itwillbethereinsixmonths.

Theweeksflyby,thehoursblurringintodays,thedaysintoweeks.Liambecomesagoodfriend

andintroducesmetosomeofhislocalbuddies.Heshowsmearoundthebarsandbestseafood
restaurants.Itfeelslikeanotherworldouthere,butI’msoakingupeverythingthisexperiencehasto
offer.

Travistextsmeeveryfewdays.WhenIfirstarrived,wedidn’ttalkfortwoweeks,probably

becausehewashurtIleftwithoutsayinganything.ThenonenighthesentmeapictureofGryff,with
thecaptionWemissyou.IcriedthemomentIsawhissweetlittleface.BeforeIcouldrespond,hesent
asecondpictureofthetwoofthemlyinginhisbed,andTravisstickinghislowerlipoutinasad
pout.Iaboutlostit.Imissedhimsodamnmuch,butIknewIhadtostaystrong.Thiswasgoodfor
me,andIhadtorememberthat.TravisandIwereinacomplicatedsituation,andallIwantedwasto
gettoaneutralplaceagainwhereitstoppedhurting.

So,nowhesendsmepictureupdatesofhowbigGryffisgettingandheaskshowthingsarehere.

Wedon’tsaymuchotherthanthat,whichrightnow,isenoughforus.Iknowwe’llhavealottotalk
aboutwhenIvisitfortheholidays.

Abouthalfwaythroughmyapprenticeship,Icatchsomekindofsummerflu.It’sawful,butIwork
throughituntilI’moffontheweekend.Itdoesn’teaseup,soLiamsurprisesmewithsoupand

crackers.

“Youlookpale,honey,”hesays,placingacold,wetwashclothonmyforehead.“Areyou

hungry?”

Ipressahandtotheclothandshakemyhead.“Notreally.Ijustfeelreallyqueasy.”
“I’llbringyourtrashcanbyyoujustincase.”Iwatchashestandsupandwalksthefewfeettomy

kitchenandgrabsit.He’stallandbuilt.Hehasshaggyblondehair,whichtotallyaddstothesurfer
vibehegivesoutwhenhe’snotinhissuitandtieattire.Heoverdressesforworkandclaimsit’s
goingtohelphimclimbthecorporateladderbeforehe’sthirty.

“Thanks,”Isay,watchingashesetsitdownnexttome.“IthinkI’mjustgoingtotryandsleepit

off.”

“Yeah,goodidea,hon.I’lllayonyourcouchandwaitforyoutowakeupsoyoucaneat.”
“No,”Iargue.“Youdon’thavetositaroundandwaitonme.I’llbeokay.”
“Nonsense.YouneedtogetbettersoIhavesomeonetogosalsadancingwith.”
Iletoutasmalllaugh.“Ineveragreedtothatinthefirstplace.”
Hetiltshisheadandfrowns.
Igroan.“We’llsee.”
Hesmilesandflashesmeawink.“Getsomerest.I’mgoingtobingeonyourNetflix.”
Isleepforthenextthreehours,andwhenIwakeup,it’sdarkoutside,andLiamisstillwatching

TVonmysofa.Hepausesitthemomenthehearsmerustlingunderthecovers.

“Hey.”Hesmiles.“Howdoyoufeel?”
“Better,Ithink.Ineedtopee.”
Helaughsandgoesbacktohisshow.IgrabmyphoneasIwalktothebathroomandseethat

Courtneyhasmessagedmethreetimes.

V:Sorry,Iwassleeping.IthinkIcaughttheflu.

Isendbacktoherurgentmessages.

C:Theflu?Whatareyoursymptoms?

IrespondwitheverythingI’vebeenfeelingthispastweek.

V:Vomiting,nausea,queasiness,headaches,hotflashesandsweats.Liambroughtmesomesoup,
soI’mgoingtotryeatingsomeofthatandseeifithelps.

C:Howlonghaveyoubeensick?

V:Offandonaboutaweekorso.Ithinkit’sgoingaroundwork.

Ireplyback,headingbackouttomybed.

C:Wellunlessit’shomesickness,I’dsayit’spregnancythat’sgoingaroundyouroffice!

V:OMG!Iamnotpregnant!Ihaven’thadsexinmonths!

ThelasttimewaswithTravis,ofcourse.
C:Haveyoumissedyourperiod?

IttakesmeawhiletothinkaboutitbecauseIcan’tremember.WhichIrealizeisnotagoodsign.

I’vebeensobusythatIhaven’tpaidattention.Iopenthecalendaronmyphoneandcountbackthe
daysfromwhenTravisandIweretogether,tothelasttimeIrememberhavingmyperiod.

Threemonthsago.

V:Ican’trememberthelasttimeIhadit...I’vebeenstressedandbusy.ButI’monthepill,soit’s
probablyjusttheflu.

C:Yeah...thefluthatmakesyouskipyourperiodforthreemonthsanddoesn’tgoaway,but
comesandgoes...soundsLEGIT.

Dammit,Courtney!She’stotallymakingmefreakoutrightnow.There’sjustnoway.Iwould’ve

beenabletotellbynow.

V:MybodyalwaysgetsweirdwhenI’mstressedout.Stopjinxingme!

C:LOL!Toolateforthat...gobuyatestandFaceTimeme!

V:IfeelwaytooshittytoleavemyapartmentrightnowandI’mnotaskingLiamtogoona
pregnancytestrun.

ItoldheraboutLiamwhenwefirstmet,andatfirst,shethoughtwewerehookingup,butonceI

toldherIthoughthewasgay,shebackedoff.However,I’mstillnottotallysureaboutthat.

C:Youbetterfindoutquickthen.There’salonglistofstuffyou’llneedtobedoingifyouare...

Isigh,takinginadeepbreath.Ican’tevenfathomthatrightnow.
V:I’llcallyoutomorrow.
“Areyouokay?”Liam’svoicedirectsmyattentionbackuptohim.
Iblinkawaythetearsandsetmyphonedown,needingtoclearmyheadfromtherevelationIjust

had.“Idon’tknow.”

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

TRAVIS

SixMonthsLater...

“Youcansetthecomputersandprinteroverthere,”Isay,directingthedeliverydriversasthey

wheelabighunkofplasticandboxesintothebuilding.Atrandommoments,likerightnow,Ithink
aboutViola.Thoughit’sbeensixmonthssincesheleftforBoston,itseemslikeyesterdayandeach
dayshe’snothereisheartbreakingtorture.Randomlywetextbackandforth,butit’snotthesame.
Honestly,ithasn’tbeensincesheleftwithoutallowingmetoexplainmyselffully.Shetookmyheart
withher,andI’mwaitingforhertopersonallydeliveritbacktome.Tothisday,theonlywomanI
wantistheonewhostolemyheart—ViolaFisher.

SomehowI’vemanagedtostaybusyandputmyfocusongettingmybusinessofftheground.The

signforKingMarketingwillarriveinthenextthirtyminutesandisbeinginstalledontheoutsideof
themodestbuildingIleased.Thesignintheofficethathangsonthewallbehindthereceptiondesk
hasthelogoonit,KingMarketing:Whereyou’retreatedlikeroyalty.IlaughatthememoryofDrew
givingmesomuchshitoverittoo,butnowhesaysIshouldhavethelogoprintedont-shirtssohe
canproudlywearit.

AsIstandbackandlookatthereceptiondeskandtheopenofficespace,Ithinkabouthowproud

ViolaisthatIreallydidit;Istartedmyownbusiness.Idon’tburdenherwithallthedetails,knowing
she’sstayingplentybusyrightnow,butIknowDrewiskeepingherup-to-date.Withtheholidays
approaching,thegrandopeningandscissorcuttingceremonyisn’tuntilafterthenewyear.I’ve
invitedcommunityleaders,potentialclients,andeventhemayor,buttheonlypersonIwanttobe
thereisher.

AsIlookaround,IrememberhowempoweringitwastoleaveCrawfordMarketingfivemonths

ago.TheaccidentandViolaleavingwasthewake-upcallIneeded.Goingaftermydreamsisscaryas
fuck,buttherewardissomuchgreaterthantherisk,andsofarIhaven’tregrettedmydecision.Inow
laughatthedayItookcontrolofmycareerandgaveCrawfordMarketingthehypotheticalmiddle
finger.Blakewasreamingmyass,asusual,somethingaboutnotusingtimestampsonprinted
documents,anditalljustclicked.TherewasnowayIcouldstaythereanylonger—notwiththe
tension,thelies,andthewholecorporatevibe.

AsBlakecontinuedtoshoutatme,Istoodupandstartedgrabbingsmallitemsoffmydeskand

tossingthemintomybriefcase.Hewassofaruphisownass;hedidn’tevenrealizewhatIwasdoing.
Afteraskinghimifhewasdone,Itoldhim‘Iquit.’Hilariously,hetoldmeIcouldn’tquitand
demandedIgetmyassbacktomydesk.Ilaughedinhisfaceandwalkedoutofmyofficewithout
lookingback.AllthestressthatmiserablejobcausedinstantlydisappearedwhenItookmyfinalstep
outthedoor.IwishedIwouldhavedoneitsooner.

ThefollowingdayIwroteoutmybusinessplanandcontinuedtopushforwardonopeningmy

ownmarketingfirm.AsreadyasIam,andknowingI’vegivenitmyall,I’mstillnervousasfuck
becausefailingisnotanoption.

Oncethecomputersandprinteraresetup,IrealizeIshould’vehiredanITpersontomakesure

thenetworkingisinstalledcorrectly.RememberingViolamentioningCourtneybeingacomputer
genius,whichstillshockstheshitoutofme,IdecidetoaskDrewforhernumber.

T:Hey,doyouhaveCourtney’snumberbychance?
D:Who?

T:Courtney.Hasthehotsforyou.Viola’scrazyblondefriend.Usuallyparadingaroundin
cowgirlbootsandredlipstick.

D:Thanksforsuchavividpicture.No,Idon’t,butI’llaskViolaforit.

Hesendsitbacktomeinunderaminute.I’msureViolawasmorethanwillingtogiveittohim,

probablybecauseshethinksDrewwantstoaskCourtneyonadateorsomething.Itactuallymakesme
laugh.Iwould’vetextedViolaandaskedmyself,butourconversationshaven’tbeenanythingmore
thansmalltalkorpicturesofGryff.Shetextsmeaboutherjobdutiesandherfriend,Liam.Sheposts
picturesofthemtogetheronInstagram,anditdrivesmeinsanethatshe’sspendingsomuchtimewith
him,eventhoughsheswearsthey’reonlyfriends.

Idon’ttellherhowmuchithurtstohavehergoneornottoknowwherewestand.Idon’ttellher

itfeelsasifwe’reinlimbo,andIhavenoideaifshe’llevermovebackorifwe’lleverbeanus
again.Idon’ttellheranyofthosethingsbecauseIfearit’llscareherawayforever.

AlthoughI’vegivenherthespaceshe’sclearlyaskedfor,it’skillingmeinside.Iwanttobegher

tocomebacktome,tellherIneedher,andthateverydaysinceshe’sbeengonehasbeentheworst
dayofmylife.ButIknowthatisn’tfairtoher.She’sworkedsohardforthisopportunity,andIcan’t
betheonetogetinthewayofit.Iknowshe’smakingalifeinBoston,andalthoughitstillpainsme
toknowshedoesn’ttrustme,I’mnotgivinguponus.I’llnevergiveuponusandwilldowhateverit
takestogainhertrustback.Iknowshe’llbehomesoonfortheholidays,andthat’llbemychanceto
layitalloutforher.Shewon’tleaveagainwithoutknowingexactlywhereIstand.

UnionInternationalwillmorethanlikelyofferherafull-timeposition;theywouldbeidiotsnot

to,butit’llbeherdecisiontoacceptordecline.

Theselfishpartofmehopesshehatesthesnowasmuchasshehatestherainandwillcomeback

tosunnyCaliforniawithoutasecondthought.

Theloudsoundofatruckenteringtheparkinglotdirectsmyattentionoutthewindow,andIsee

thesigninstallershavearrived.Istandoutsideastheyusealifttoattachthesigntotheoutsideofthe
building,andI’msodamnexcitedaboutit.IsnapapictureandsendittoViolawiththemessage:It’s
reallyhappening.

V:That’samazing!I’msoproudofyou:)
Herwordsmeantheworldtome.

T:Thankyou,princess.Ihopeyou’llstillbeintownforthescissor-cuttingceremony.I’dloveto
haveyouthere.

Shedoesn’trespond,andIknowI’vepushedtoofar.Ifweweren’tthreethousandmilesapart,I

knowourrelationship—orwhateverthehellyouwanttocallit—wouldbeinacompletelydifferent
place.ItrytobecautiouswhentellingherhowmuchImissher,butsometimesIslipup,whichthrows
awreckingballintotheconversation.Myfeelingshaven’tchanged,regardlessofthetimethat’s
passed,andI’mprettysureI’vemadethatclear.

Oncethesignisinstalled,Idecidetolockupforthenightandheadhome.It’sbeenalong-assday,

andthenexttwoweeksaregoingtobeevenmorehecticwithinterviewsandpre-booking
appointmentswithpotentialclients.

AssoonasIwalkintothehouse,Gryffisatmyfeet,barkingandjumpingalloverme.He’sso

fuckinghappytoseemeeverydaythatitputsahugesmileonmyface.Iopenthefrontdoorand
allowhimtorunoutside.Wehaveadailyroutinenow.EverynightafterIcomehome,Ilethimout,
andherunsaroundtheyard.Thenhechasestheneighbor'scat,andIhopehenevercatchesit.Once
he’sdone,herushesinside,andIfeedhimhistreatsandstockhiswaterandfooddishes.He’sa
spoiledlittleshit,andI’mprettysureI’mthetrainedoneinsteadofhim.

Aftertakingashower,Irelaxonthecouch,andGryffliesdownnexttome.Heplaceshisheadon

mylapasIwatchthenewsandsuddenlyrememberIforgottotextCourtney.

T:Hey.It’sTravisKing.
Howoriginal.Irollmyeyesatmyself.Idon’tknowwhyI’mnervous.

C:THETravisKing?TowhatdoIowethishonor?

Shedoesn’tevenaskhowIgothernumberorshedoesn’tcare.Eitherway,I’mreadytomakea

dealwithher.

T:Ihaveabusinesspropositionforyou.

C:Dependswhatitis.Imightbetoobusygettingmynailsandhairdone.

T:Waytoliveuptothecliché.

C:Waytobeanasshole.

T:Well,itismyspecialty.

C:Allright,King.Gettothepoint.

T:Iheardyou’regoodattechshit,andIneedhelpwithsettingupthenewcomputersatmy
officewithournetworkandinstallingthefirewallandallofthatstuff.Ipaywell.

Ittakesheralongtimetorespond,andIstartwonderingifaskingherwasabadidea.

C:Thatdepends.Canyougetmeadatewithyourstudbestfriend?
T:I’dtrybutIhaveafeelinghe’sagainstprostitution.
C:Youdon’tknowuntilyouask!

I’mnotevensurewhattosayback.WhoringoutDrewwouldbethecheapestwaytogetthisdone,

butmaybenotthemostethical.Ilaughbecauseshedoesn’tseemtohaveanyfiltersaboutthis.Before
Icanrespond,shesendsanothertext.

C:Geez.I’mjustkidding!You’renofuntomesswithifyoudon’ttakethebait.Sowhattimeand
where?

T:Tomorrowaround11?I’lltextyoutheaddress.

C:Yougotit,boss!

Igroan.

T:Don’tmakemeregretthis.

C:Ialreadydo.

Ilaughandshakemyhead.Ireallyhopesheknowswhatshe’sdoing.IfIdidn’twitnessher

graduatingwithhonors,I’mnotsureIwould’veeverbelievedshewasalittlegeniusbecauseshe
doesn’tputoffthatnerdy,smartgirlvibe.Heraccent,blondehair,andblueeyesgiveheraSouthern
bellevibebutmixedwithsororitygirlgonewild.She’scompletelyoppositefromViolainalmost
everyway,butmaybethat’swhytheygetalongsowell.

Atleastnow,I’mabletorelaxalittle,knowingthatpartofthebusinesswillbetakencareof

—hopefully.

Hourslater,Drewcomeshomeinhisgymclotheswithhisuniformthrownoverhisshoulder.He

lookslikehe’shadadayfromhellandwhenhecracksopenabeerbeforehedoesanythingelse,it’s
confirmed.

“Wannatalkaboutit?”Iaskhimashesitsdownonthecouchandstartsmindlesslyflipping

throughthechannels.

“I’mprettysureI’mnevergoingtogetoverMia.”
Ihatehearinghernameonhislips,andIhateseeinghimsodistraught.It’sbeenmonthssincethe

bigblowout,andshestillmanagestostringhimalonglikeaplaything.He’saddictedtoher,and
regardlessofwhatwealltellhim,hecan’tlethergo.

IthinkbacktoCourtney’stextmessage,andanevilgrinspreadsacrossmyface.
“Howwouldyouliketodomeahugefavor?”
Hechugshisbeeruntilit’sempty.
“What’sthat?”
“BringlunchforCourtneytomorrow,atthefirm,aroundelevenish?”
Hegivesmeapointedlook.“Yourfavorsaredangerous,King.”
Ithrowmyheadbackandlaughbecauseit’strue.AllofViola’sandmyrekindlingstartedwitha

singlefavor—alunchfavor,actually.

“You’rebeingweird,”hesays.
“Ifyouwearyourcopuniform,Imightbeabletogethertoinstallthesoftwareonallofthe

computersIhaddeliveredtodayforfree.”

Nowhe’stheonelaughing.“I’mnotgoingtobeyourstripper!”
“Whynot?I’msureshe’llkeepherhandstoherself.”Ismirkbecausewebothknowthat’salie.

Hegivesmealook.

“Itwillbegoodforyou.Idon’tknowwhatshelikestoeat,butI’msureViolaknows.Please?”
“Maybe,”hesays,andIfeelprettygoodaboutmyopenattempttoplaymatchmaker.

Inthemorning,Iworkout,thengostraighttotheofficeandtrytoreadthroughdiagramsforthese
damncomputers.Ican’tcomprehendthenonsense.Rightbeforeeleven,Courtneypullsupinher
Jeep,musicblaring.She’swearingthiscrazydresswithbigpolkadots,andherhairispulledupinto
atight,highponytail.Iwatchherreachoverandgrababrightpinktoolkitwithhername

embroideredontheoutside.Ittakeseverythinginsidemenottoburstoutlaughing.Sheseesme
inside,givesmeabigwave,andthenswingsopenthedoorlikesheownstheplace.

“Whoa!Appleproducts.Nicework,King.”HereyeswidenwhensheseesthelargeiMacslined

againstthedesksalongthewall.Shedropstheheavybagdownonthefrontcounterwheremy
secretarywillsit—assoonasIhireone.Shit,Ihavesomuchtodo.

“Yeah.Onlythebest.”Ismileproudly.
“Agreed.So,whatchagot?”
IhandheraboxofcordsandCDswithasmile.“Canyouhelpmeinstallallofthisandgetthe

routerandnetworksetup,soit’sprotected?”

Shepuckersherlipsandgivesaplayfuleyeroll.“Duh.”
Immediatelyshestartswiringeverythingtogether,insertingdiscsandclickingthroughthings

quickly,likeshe’sgotallthestepsmemorized.Beforefinishing,sheneatlyzip-tiesallthecords,so
theylooknice.

“You’regoodtogo.”Sheslapsherhandstogetherwithasmile.
Isitdownatoneofthecomputersandseethewirelessnetworkinthetopright-handcorner.
“Oh,Isetupashareddriveforeveryone,too.Youknow,justincaseyouwantedthat.”Shewinks.
Ididn’tevenaskforthat,butitwillbehelpfulduringstart-uptostayonthesamepagewithmy

employees.Myeyeswiden.Shit,shereallyisagenius.BeforeIcaneventellherthankyou,asquad
carpullsupinfrontofthebuilding.Courtneyseesmestaringbehindherwithasmile,andsheturns
andcatchessightofDrew.Nowhereyesaretheonesthatarewide.Shetucksloosestrandsofhair
behindherearsandsitsonthedeskwithherlonglegscrossed.

Drewwalksinwithabagfromthelocaldeliandabottleoffancylookingwater.I’mprettysureI

sawdrooldripdownherchin,butIdon’tdaresayaword.

“Ms.Bishop?”
Courtney’smouthfallsopen.Drewisfuckingworkingthis.I’msoproudofhimforsteppingout

ofhiscomfortzonebecauseIknowhowhardthisisforhim.Heignoreseverygirlthatbatsalashhis
way,especiallyCourtney.Butshedeservesatrophyfortrying.

Shestandsandputsherhandoverherheart.
“Thosedamnhandcuffs,”shesaysunderherbreathandthenrealizesIheardher.Sheglaresatmy

snicker,andIshrug.

“Iwastoldyourfavoritelunchisachickenwrapandpurecoconutwater,”Drewsays.
“Wait,what?”She’sjustasshockedasIamthathebroughtherlunch.
Hehandsherthebag,andshetakesitwithahugesmileonherface.Thismightbethemost

attentionhe’sgivenher—ever.Hisradiogoesoff,andheanswersbackquickly.

“Hopeyouenjoyit,”hetellsherandthenturnsaroundandleaves.
Courtneyleansagainstthewallandsighs.She’ssodamndramatic.
“Oh,myGod,Travis!Areyoutryingtokillme?”
Icannolongerholdbackmylaughter.“No,Ineedyourhelp!”
“I’lldoit.Iacceptyouroffer.”
“What?”I’mconfused.
“Justtellmewhenweopen,andI’llbehere.EspeciallyifyoucanpaymeinglimpsesofDrewin

thatuniform.”

VIOLA

UnionInternationalofferedmeagreatsalary,adecent-sizedoffice,andapositionIonlydreamed

ofhavingsixmonthsago.Consideringmycurrentsituation,myonlyoptionwastodecline,ashard
asitwastosayno.Theyevencounteroffered,givingmeatwentypercentpayincrease,butitwasn’t
enoughtokeepmegroundedinBoston.IpackedmystuffandshippedittoCourtneysinceI’llbe
stayingwithheruntilIfindaplaceofmyown.Thelastfewmonthshavebeen...well...interesting.

DrewandCourtneybothknowI’mnotreturningtoBostononceIleave,butIhaven’tfoundthe

couragetotellTravisyet.He’llfindoutsoonenoughandwhenIdon’tleaveaftertheholidaysare
overit’llbeadeadgiveaway.IbeggedthemnottosayawordbecauseIwanttobetheonetotellhim.
Ihavetobe.Wehavealottotalkabout,butthetruthis,I’mnotsurewhattosaytohimorwhereto
evenbegin.Justthinkingaboutitgivesmeananxietyattack.

Ishovemycarry-onintheoverheadcompartmentoftheplaneandslidethewindowcoveropen,

peeringoutintothedistance.Soonwetakeoffoverablanketofwhitefog,andasnervousasIamto
bereturningbacktoCali,I’mhappytobeleavingBostonandallthedamnsnow.

AstheplanelandsinCalifornia,Ifeelalittleridiculouswearingabaggysweaterandsomany

layers.Irollmysleevesuptomyelbowsandpatientlywaitwhilewedeplane.Iwascold,butnowI’m
sweating.Freakinghormones.AlumpformsinmythroatwhenIopenmytextmessagesandsee
Courtneyisalreadywaitingforme.Thisishappening.I’mreallyhome.

AfterIpee,Iwheelmysuitcasethroughtheairport,tryingtofindjustasliverofcourage.Iwalk

throughthedoubledoors,andCourtneyisleaningagainstherJeepwithabig,goofysmileonher
face.Shetakesoffrunninginhighheelsandgivesmeabighug.

“Oh,myGod,Mama!Lookatyou!”Shesquealsandpatsmytummy.I’msohappyshe’sexcited

aboutthispregnancy,becauseI’mstillnotsurehowtofeel,butI’vefeltlikethatsincethedayIfound
out.

ThoughIfeltlikedeath,IUberedtothenearestpharmacy.Theguywhodrovemeacrosstown

lookedatmelikeIhadtheplagueandI’msurewhenIsteppedoutofhiscarhesprayeddisinfectant
allovertheseats.Iwalkedinside,andstaredatthepregnancytests,pickingupatwo-pack,which
claimstobe99.9%accurate.I’veneverhadtotakeone,andIalmostfindithilariousthatit’scometo
thispoint.CourtneyisthreethousandmilesawaybuthasmesoworkedupIhavetoknowforsure.I’m
prettyconfidentit’savirus.I’vehadtheflubefore.Iknowthesymptoms,andIfeellikedeath—totally
theflu.

WhenIgrabthecardboardbox,Ifeelridiculous.Allthewaytothecounter,IkeeprepeatinghowI

can’tbepregnant.Birthcontrol.Ididn’tmissapill.Notone.Itakeacabbacktomystudioapartment
andsomehowfindthestrengthtoclimbthestairs.IreadtheinstructionsatleasttentimesbeforeI
takethestickoutandpeeonit,andthenIwait.Almostimmediatelytwopinklinesappear.

No,no,no.
Itaketheotherpregnancytestoutofthewrapperandpeeonit,too.
Thefirstonehadtobewrong.Thiscouldnotbehappening,notnow,notwhenI’matthebeginning

ofmycareerandsofarawayfromeveryoneIlove.Justasfastastheotherone,twopinklines.

Isitonthetoiletandstareatitinshock.I’mnotevensurewhattodoorsay.ImmediatelyIcall

Courtney,crying.

“Oh,myGod,Lola.What’swrong?Iseverythingokay?”
“Court.”Isittherealongtimeinsilenceastearsstreamdownmyface.
“Lola?You’refreakingmeout.”
“I’m...”Icouldn’tevensaythewords.
Shepatsmybellyandbringsmebacktoreality.IgulpthinkingabouthowlostIfeltwhenItold

her,butshewasthereforme.Idon’tbelievetherewasatimewhenshewasn’t.

“So,Iguessthissweaterdidn’tcoverupthisbump?”Ilookdownandlaugh.

“Imeanforthemostpart,butit’sstilltotallyobvious.”
“Couldn’tyouhavejustlied?”Ismile,butIthoughtI’dbeabletofaceDrewwithouthiminstantly

knowing.It’ssohardtorecognizethechangeinmyself,butIthoughtitwasn’tthatnoticeablewith
oversizedclothes.WhothehellamItryingtofool?Everyone.

“Icannotwaittogoshopping.Cutelittleclothesandhatsandshoes.ILOVEBABIES!”She’s

talkingsoloud,hervoiceechoesthroughtheparkinggarage.Shegrabsmysuitcaseandthrowsit
intothebackoftheJeepandslamsherfootonthegasasusual.Ishootheralook,andsheslows
down.“Sorry,Iforgottherewasababyonboard.”

Igrinather.“So,howwasyourwrapandcoconutwater?”
Drewtextedmeandtoldmewhatwasgoingon,thatTravisaskedforafavor,andI’mhappyhe

consideredCourtneyandloopedDrewinonit.She’sthebestofthebestandcanhelphimwith
anythingheneeds.

“I’msohappyyou’rehomeandthatyou’refinallygoingtobemyroommate,”shesaysasshe

parksoutsideofherplace.Wehadtalkedaboutlivingtogethersomanydifferenttimesincollege,but
afterbeingacceptedintothecommondorms,itwasaloteasiertomovemystuffacrosscampusand
nothavetoworryaboutpayingrent.

“So,Igotajob,”Courtneysays,wheelingmysuitcaseacrossthepavementtoherapartment.
“Really?”
“Well,IkindoftoldTravisIwasgoingtoworkforhim.”Sheburstsoutlaughing,andIcan’thelp

butlaugh,too.

“Seriously?Whatdidhesay?”God,Imisshim.
“HelookedatmelikeIhadlostmydamnmind.”
Iknowthatlookwell.
“Haveyou?”Wewalkinside,andIseemyboxeswaitingformeinthelivingroom.
“Yeah,probablyalittlebit.Butmydadsaidnomorefreeloading.EitherIgetajobormoveback

toTexasandworkontheranch.Howclichéisthat?”Shewrinkleshernoseandmakesaface.“And
webothknowIwouldn’tsurviveonedayofhavingdirtundermyfingernailsorsweating.”She
cringes.

“Oh,sweetbabyJesus.”
“Iknow,right?I’mnotgoingbacktoTexas.Noway.Notwithyourhotbrothershowingupand

bringingmelunch.Andwithmebecominganauntandall.”

Ishakemyheadather.“Well,ifTravisgoesforit,youtotallyshould.He’sdealtwithenoughshit

fromthecorporateworld,thatI’msurehe’lltreathisemployeeslikegold.ButhonestlyCourt,it’s
marketing.Youhatedmarketing.”

Shelaughs.“Becauseitwasboring!Youhavetoadmititwasboring.”
“Youhaveapoint.”Isitonthecouchandpropupmyswollenfeet.“Oh,myGod!”
Shestandsupandwalkstowardme.“What,areyouokay?”
Ilookupather,shocked.“Yeah.Ijustfeltthebabykickforthefirsttime.”
“BabyTraviolalovesme!”Shesitsnexttomeandplacesherhandonmystomach,andthebaby

kicksagain.It’soneoftheweirdestsensationsandmakesthisimpendingmotherhoodthingfeelvery
realallofasudden.

“Haveyoutoldanyoneelseyet?”Shesearchesmyface.
Ishakemyhead.“Notyet.I’mnotevensurewhattosay.”
“Honestly,I’msureyouwon’thavetosayanything.”Shegivesmeasmilethenglancesdownat

mytummy.

“Oh,shutit.I’msonervous,Court.I’mreallyscaredtotellDrew.I’mworriedtotellTravisand

myparents.Ifeellost.WhatifDrewhatesme?WhatifTraviswritesmeoff?Whatifmyparents

makemefeelguilty?”

Shegivesmeahug.“What-ifsdon’tmeanshit.Andnomatterwhat,it’sgoingtobeokay.No

one'sreactionswillchangethefactthatyou’regoingtohaveasweetlittlebaby.Everyonewillhaveto
acceptit.You’regoingtobethebestmomontheplanet,andI’mgoingtobetheworld’snumberone
aunt.Andyouknowifyouneedanything,I’mhere.Okay?Always.”

Inod,andshegivesmeatighthug.SometimesCourtneyiscompletelyridiculous,butIlovethe

factthatshe’salwaysonmyteam,rootingforme,nomatterwhat.

Onawhim,IpickupmyphoneandtextDrewbecausethetimeforhimtoknowisnow.Ican’t

hidethisanylonger.

V:I’mhome.Stillupforicecream?
D:Yeah,givemeanhour?
V:Yep!
Mynerveskickintooverdrive.
IglanceatCourtney.“WanttodrivemetoSugars,soIcantellDrewthebignews?”
Sheliftsbothofhereyebrows.“Areyousure?Atanicecreamshop?”
“Hewon’tmakeasceneinapublicplace.”Ilaugh,butit’strue.
“You’reevil.”
Timepassesquickly.Courtneyreluctantlydropsmeoff,andwhileIwait,Iordertwoscoopsof

strawberryicecreamandsitinasecludedboothinthecorneroftheroom.Igetlostinmyphone,and
onlylookupwhenIseeDrewwalkingtowardmewithascoopofchocolate.Iwassointothisnew
bookthatIdidn’tevenseehimcomeinorevenorder.Assoonasheseesme,hesmiles.

“Vi,youlookgood!Theextrawinterweightsuitsyou,”hesays,grabbingmyspoonandhelping

himselftomyicecreamthatI’vebarelytouched.

Ifurrowmybrows.
“Youtoo,ass.”Iglareathim.Hestopsshovingtheicecreaminhismouth,andIlaugh.Forthe

nextthirtyminutes,Drewcatchesmeuponworkandourparents.HetalksaboutTravisandthe
businessandevenmentionsGryff.Onepersonhedoesn’tdaretalkaboutisMia,becauseheknows
better,andconsideringmyhormones,Imightlosemyshitoverstrawberryicecream.Itseemsasif
alloftheirliveshavegoneonwithoutme,andIfeellikeI’vemissedsomuch.Myheartisracing,and
Itrytofindtherightplacetotellhimthenews.Afterhecomplainsaboutthecold,Ijustblurtitout.

“I’mpregnant.”
Atfirst,hedoesn’tstoptalking,andIthinkhedoesn'thearme,soIrepeatmyself.
“I’mpregnant,Drew.”
Hismouthdropsopen,andhesitsthereandstaresatmelikeIslappedhimacrosstheface.I’m

thankfulthere’snooneelseintherestaurant.

“You’regoingtobeanuncle.”
Thefactthathe’snotsayinganythingisstressingmeout.Iknowit’salottotakein,soIsitthere

andwaitforhimtospeak.Timeslipsthroughmyfingers,andIcovermyfacewithmyhandsbecause
Ifeelthetearswellingonthebrimsofmyeyes.Gentlyhepullsmyhandsawaysohecansearchmy
face.

“I’mgoingtobeanuncle?”Hesoundsandlooksshocked.
Inod.
“Whoisthe...”
“Oh,myGod,Drew.Whodoyouthink?Idon’tsleeparound.”
Hiseyeswidenasheconnectsthedots,andIwanttoknowwhathe’sthinking.Wesitthere,staring

ateachother,andIwishCourtneywouldjustwalkinandsaysomethingthatmakesmelaugh.My
heartisbeatingsofastIcanfeelthepulserockthroughmybody.

CHAPTERSIXTEEN

TRAVIS

AsI’mleavingthehousetoheadtotheoffice,IseeapackagefromFedExsittingagainstthedoor.
Confused,Ipickitupandrealizeit’sthesurprisebirthdaygiftImailedtoBostonforViola.Sinceher
birthdayisonlyafewdaysaway,IthoughtI’dsendhersomethingnice—apairofdiamondearrings
tomatchtheheartnecklaceIgaveherwhenwewerekids.Itreallyfuckinghurtsmyhearttoseethe
boxsittingatmyfeet.

IpickitupandwalkbackinsideasIsendheratext.
T:Refusingmypackagesnow?
Hertextbubbleinstantlypopsup.

V:Huh?
T:Imailedyouapackageforyourbirthdayandit’sbeenreturned.

Shedoesn’treplyasquickly,butonceshefinallydoes,I’mfloored.
V:It’sbecauseI’mbackhome.
Ireadthetextagain,anditconfusesme.Whatthehell?Shewasn’tcominghomeuntilcloserto

ChristmaslastIheard.

T:What?You’rehererightnow?You’reearly.
Iwishshewould’vetoldmeassoonasshelanded,andIknowI’mprobablynotatthetopofher

list,butfuck,I’llfightmywaybacktothetop.Still,forsomereason,IthoughtI’dbethefirstto
know.

V:Yeah,I’mherepermanently.Canwetalksoon?

Permanently?

T:Youtellmethetimeandplace,andI’llbethere,princess.

IpickuptheFedExpackageandsetitonthecounter,wonderingifit’stooearlytostartdrinking.I

hadn’texpectedViolatobehomealready,andnowtohearshe’snotgoingbackisasweetsurprise.
Honestly,I’munsureofhowIshouldfeelrightnow.Apartofmeisthrilledtofuckingdeaththat
Violaishere,butanotherpartofmeisanxious.Whatdoesthismeanexactly?Iwishitmeantthat
we’dhaveanotherchancetobetogether,butthat’sadangerousgametobeplaying.Ontheother
hand,justthethoughtofherbeinghereputsahugesmileonmyface.Everydaysincesheleft,I’ve
wishedshe’dcomebacktoCali—comebacktome—andnowshehas.

DrewwakesupanddragshisassintothekitchenandfurrowshisbrowsatthesmileI’mwearing.

Ican’thelpit.

“Didyouwinthelotteryorsomething?”heasks.
“Violaishome!Didyouknow?”

Hegivesmeanervoussmile,butItrytoignoreit.“Yeah,sheaskedmenottosayanything.”
Idon’tevencomment,becauseitwasthesamewordsI’dsaidtohimwheneverwetalkedabout

Violaandme.Shehadaskedmenottosayanythinguntilshewasready,andIdidn’t.

Drewtakesthecartonofmilkoutofthefridgeanddrinksitstraightfromthejug.
“Pleasetellmeyoudon’tdothatallthetime,”Isay,disapproving.
“Havebeenforaboutsixyears.”Drewchucklesandrubshisface.“Ididn’tsleepverywelllast

night.”

“Sorry,thatsucks.”Workmustbestressinghimoutagain.Hegoesthroughthesecycleswhere

everythingisgreat,thensomedayshe’ssostressed,Iknowtostayoutofhisway.

“Ifyouonlyknew.”Hepauses.“Well,youmighteventually,”hemuttersunderhisbreath,butI

don’tgiveitasecondthought.Afterheyawns,heheadsbacktohisroom.Ibrushoffhisweirdness
andripopentheFedExboxtopulloutthegiftboxwrappedinsilverpaperandtakeitwithmetothe
office.Ihavemyfirstinterviewwithaprospectiveemployeetoday,whichmakesmerealizethisis
reallyhappening.I’vealwaysheardthatwhenapersonfindsajobtheytrulylove,itwillneverfeel
likework.EachdayIseemynameonthesign,Iunderstandthatsayingmore.Myname,my
reputation,mymoneyisallontheline,andthecloserwegettoopening,themorenervousIbecome,
butIlovetheanticipation.

BeforeIunlockthedoortothefirm,IreceiveanothertextfromViola.
V:CanyoumeetmeatCourtney’s?
Sheattachestheaddress.
T:I’llbethereassoonasIcan.
Afteranhourofaninterviewfromhell,Ilockup.I’manxiousandnervousasfucktoseeher

again.It’sbeensolongsinceI’veseenher,Ijustwanttowrapherinmyarmsandkisstheshitoutof
her.Iwanttoforgeteverythingthathappenedinourpastandbeghertogiveusasecondchance.Not
knowingwhattoexpectorwhatshe’llsaymakesmethemostanxious.Therearesomanydifferent
thingsshecouldsay.TheunknownsuffocatesmeallthewaytoCourtney’splace.

There’sslow-movingtrafficonthebridge,andIwaitatleasthalfanhourforthemtocleanupan

accident.AtleastitgivesmetimetorunthrougheverythingIwanttosaytoher.There’ssomuchI
needtosay;it’sjustfindingtherightwordsthatmakeitnerve-wracking.IknowI’vefuckedupso
manytimesovertheyears,andIhavetotakeherbeingbackinCaliforniaasifI’vebeengiven
anotherchance.Irefusetofuckthisupagain.Truthbeknown,shemighthavetoputarestraining
orderonmetokeepmeaway.

OnceIpullupnexttoCourtney’sJeep,mynervestakeover.Irubmyhandovermyfaceandtake

inadeepbreathbeforeIgrabthegiftandgetout.ItwillbethefirsttimeI’veseenhersinceher
graduation.AssoonasIheaddownthesidewalk,IseeCourtneygettingreadytolockthedoor.
Walkingalittlefaster,sheseesmeandwaits.

“She’sasleep,”shewhispers.
“ShouldIcomebacklater?”Iask.
“No,thetimechangehasmessedwithher.I’msureshe’llbeupsoon.”Sheopensthedoor,and

whenIstepin,shewavesgoodbyeandclosesitbehindher.

Istandthereforamoment,watchingViolasleeponthecouch,snuggledwithablanketaroundher

body.Shelookssopeacefulandbeautiful,andit’shardformetonotimmediatelygotoher,pullher
inmyarms,andtellherI’mneverlettinghergoagain.

Isitinthechairnexttothecouchandwaitforher.Shelookswaytoocomfortableformeto

interrupthersleep.Tenminuteslater,shestirs,andhereyesflutteropen.

“Travis?”Shelooksconfused.
“Yeah,princess.”

“Whydidn’tyouwakemeup?Howlonghaveyoubeenhere?”
“Longenoughtoknowyou’reexhausted.Icancomebacklater,ifyouwant.”
“No,that’sokay.”Shesitsupandpullstheblanketoverherarmsandcrossesherlegs.After

puttingonherglasses,shetuckshairbehindherearsandnervouslysmiles.Hercheeksarerosy,and
shelooksasifshe’sglowing.Fuck,I’vemissedhersodamnmuch,andIhopewhatshehastosayto
meisn’tbadnews.

“So...”shesays.Andit’simmediatelyawkward,butIdon’twantittobe.
“So,”Iechoherwords.Ihatethatthere’sabigelephantintheroom,andIjustwanttogetitallout

sowecangetoveritandmoveon.

Shetucksherbottomlipintohermouthandtakesinadeepbreath.“I’mreallysorryforleaving

withoutsayinggoodbye.I’msosorry.YouhavenoideahowmuchithurtmetoknowthatIhurtyou.
Idon’tthinkIwould’veeverleft,eventhoughIwaspissedatyouifIdidn’tleaverightthen.IknowI
wouldn’thavebeenabletogo.”

Fuck,herwordsarelikemusictomyears,andIfeelallthetensionfrommybodybegintomelt

away.“Youwerehurt,too,princess.Iunderstandwhyyoudidit.You’reherenow,sowhocares?
Okay?We’vebothmademistakes,andI’msorryforeverhurtingyou.”

Afterfindingoutsheleft,Iwasupsetwithherfordays,andtheemptinessneversubsided.

Heartbreakfeelslikegrieving,andknowingIputherthroughthatcountlesstimesovertheyears
mademefeellikeIdeservedit.ButIforgavehermonthsago.

Violagivesmeasmallsmile,andIcan’tbarethegapbetweenusanylonger.Istandandmoveto

thecouch,closertoher.

“I’vemissedyousodamnmuch,”Iwhisper.Theclosenessofherbodycausesmyheartrateto

increase.We’renotevencloseenoughtotouch,butit’stheclosestwe’vebeeninhalfayear.

“I’vemissedyou,too.AndGryff.He’sstillsocute.He’sgrowinguptoofast.”
“He’sourbaby,”Isaywithalaugh,butshedoesn’tsmilelikeIhopedshewould.
Icantellshe’supsetaboutsomething,andallIwanttodoispullherintomyarms,butIwon’t

crossthatlineuntilshe’sready.Iwon’trushthis.“Iseverythingokay?”

Sheshakesherhead,andthesmilefadesfrommyface.Thismeetingisbeginningtofeelall

wrong.“Youcantellmeanything,Viola.Youknowthat,right?I’mnotupsetwithyou,princess.”

Shenods.
Myheartraces,andIfeellikeI’mlosingheralloveragain.Insteadofwaitingforhertotellme

what’sgoingon,Ijuststartrambling,hopingshewillopenuptome.

“Areyouseeingsomeoneelse?”Iask.That’dbetheworstpossiblethingthatcouldhappen,but

I’dstillsitonthesidelinesandwaitforher.No,fuckthat,I’dfightforher.

Sheshakesherhead,andIcanseeshe’sbecomingmoreemotionalwitheachpassingsecond.I

moveclosertoher,wrapmyarmsaroundher,hopingtoGodshedoesn’tpushmeaway.Sinkinginto
me,sheleansherheadagainstmychest,andIholdher.

“I’msoscared,Travis.”
Ipullawayandstareintohereyes.Nowshe’sreallybeginningtoworryme.

VIOLA

Idon’tknowwhattosay.Asheholdsmeinhisarms,Ifeellikenothingelseinthisworldmatters,

butI’mscaredshitless.AsIletoutaraggedbreath,Travisgrabsmychinbetweenhisfingersand
staresintomyeyes.BeforeIgetlostwithhim,Imovetheblanketfrommystomachandstandup.At

first,hedoesn’tnotice,butwhenhedoes,hiseyeswiden,andhesitsthere,completelysilent.Silence
likethisiswhatnightmaresaremadeof,anditscaresme.

“Pleasesaysomething.”I’mtryingtostaystrong,butknowI’mlosingitwhenIbegintochoke

up.

“Viola,”hefinallysays,swallowinghard.“Isit...”
“Yours?”Iarchabrow.
Hesearchesmyfaceandnods.
“Yes.”Iflashaconfidentsmile,wantinghimtoknowthatI’dneverdothattohim.Ihatethathe

evenhadtoquestionit,butIcan’tblamehimeither.TravisKingisn’tthekindofguyyoujustmove
onfrom.Ishouldknow.Ihadn’tbeenabletoinovertenyears.

Immediately,Travisstandsupandcupsmyfaceandcoversmymouthwithhis.Itsendsshivers

downmyspinetofeelhislipsagainstmineagain.It’sbeenmonthssinceI’vetastedhimanditfeelsso
goodandsorighttobeinhisarmsagain.Heslowsthekiss,andafterhebreaksapart,hepresseshis
lipsagainstmyforeheadbeforefallingtohisknees.

Iwatchasheplaceshispalmsagainstmyswollenbelly.Iliftmyshirtforhimsohecanfeelmy

skinagainsthis.Heplacesakissrightabovemybellybuttonbeforepressinghisearagainstmy
stomach.

Hisreactionmakesmelightupinside,andasIrunmyfingersthroughhishair,Ithinkabouthow

thiswillforeverchangeus.Iknowdeepinmyheartthateverythingwillbeokaynowthathefinally
knowsandbetteryetthathe’snotupsetaboutit.

Hetiltshisheadup,andwelockeyes.“Iwantyouandmeandourbabytobeafamily,princess.I

willgotoeverysinglebabyappointment.Youdon’thavetodothisalone.Idon’twantyoutodothis
alone.”

Iswallow,nervesbrewingthroughme.“Iknowyou’rebusywiththefirm,soyoureallydon’t

havetogotoanytrouble.Idon’twanttobeaburdentoyouwithallofthis.”

Hestandsupandwrapshisarmsaroundmeandholdsme.“Areyoukiddingme?Burden?Fuck

that.I’llbethereforeverything.Iwanttobethereforeverything.Appointments,shopping,baby
classes—allofit.Evenchangingtheshittydiapers.”

Iletoutalaugh,andit’sthefirsttimeI’vereallysmiledsincetellingDrew.“Thebabyhastobe

ourpriority.Nosex,no...”

“Morerules?”Hegivesmeaslygrin.
Iflashaguiltysmile.“Ijustthinkweshouldstayfocusedonthebaby,isall.It’sbeenalongtime

sincewe’vebeentogether,andIdon’twantyoutothinkIexpectanythingfromyou.”

Travistiltsmychinuntiloureyesarelocked.“Iwouldneverwantyoutogothroughthisalone—

nomatterwhat.Iwanttobewithyou,andIwanttoraisethisbabytogether.I’vebeenwaitingforyou.
I’veneverstoppedlovingyou,andIneverwill.Idon’tknowhowtomakeitanyclearer,princess.
You’reitforme.”

Ichokebackasobbecausehiswordsarepureperfection.Ifeelliketheworstpersonintheworld

rightnow,andallIwanttodoisgivehimeverything.

“Ijustwishyou’dtoldmesooner.”Icanhearthechangeinhisvoicenow,andit’scoatedwith

sadness.“Wereyouevengoingtotellmeifyoudidn’tplanoncomingback?”

Guiltwashesoverme,andIcan’tlookathissadeyes.“Ididn’tthinkyou’dwantanythingtodo

withmeafterthewayIleft,andIcouldn’tbearit.IwantedtotellyouassoonasIfoundout,butIwas
scared.”

“Princess...thatreallyhurtstohearyou’deverthinkthat.I’vewantedyousincebeforeIevenknew

whatitmeanttoneedsomeonethatmuch.Itwouldruinmetoloseyouforgood.”

Ican’tholdbackthetearsanymore,andhecatchesthemwithhisthumbovermycheeks.“I’mso

sorry,”Iwhisper.

“Iwould’vebeenthereforyoueveryminuteyouneededme.Iwould’veflowntoBostonina

heartbeat.Youaren’talone,Viola.”

“Travis,I’mreallysorry.I’manidiot.IknowIshould’vetoldyousooner,butIwassoscared

howyou’dreact,anditdidn’treallyhitmeatfirst.Iknowthat’snotavalidexcuse,butI’msosorry
forhurtingyou.Idon’teverwanttodothatagain,”Itellhim,andImeaneveryword.

“Princess,”hesays,brushingastrandofhairoffmyface.“Iunderstandyouwerescaredandit’s

okaynow.It’sallgoingtobeokay.I’llalwaysbehereforyou.I’mnotgoinganywhere.”

Hekissesmeagain,anditfeelssonaturalandright.Ididn’texpecthimtobethisunderstanding.I

playedeveryscenariooverinmyhead,andworstcase,I’dbealone.I’dbeasinglemom,andhe’d
neverwanttoseemeagain.

“DoesDrewknow?”heaskswithapointedlook.
“Yeah,hedoes.Itoldhimyesterday.”
“Oh,okay;good.Iwasn’tsureifIshouldexpecthimtopunchmeinthefacesometimesoon.”
“Well,maybe.Butitwouldn’tbeforthis,”Isaywithasmirk.
“So,thenhetookitwell?”
Ishrugandpursemylips.“Minusafewchoicewords,yeahI’dsayhedid.”
“Andyourparents?”
“Notyet.Soon,though.”
“Wecandoittogether,”hesaysconfidently.
Iwrapmyarmsaroundhimandpullhisfacetomine,soIcankisshimoncemore.ItellhimI’ll

berightbackandwalktowardthekitchenbecauseI’mindesperateneedofsomewater.

AsIglanceovermyshoulderathim,Iseehimwatchingmeandadmiringmynewwaddle.Istudy

himandnolongerseetheboyIfellinlovewithallthoseyearsago,butamanwhowillbethefather
ofourbaby.Anamazingfather.

“Damn,yourasslooksgreat.”
Iglareathim.“Ifeelhugeanddisgusting.”
“Areyoukiddingme?You’rebeautiful,princess.”
OnceIreachthekitchen,Igrababottleofwaterandwalkrightbacktowherehe’swaitingforme

onthecouch.

“So,doyouknowifit’sagirloraboyyet?”
“No,Ididn’twanttofindoutuntilyouknew.”
Hesmilesandbrusheshishandoverthestubbleonhischin.“Okay,good.Sowhatisyourdue

date?Doyouknowwhenyouhaveyournextappointment?Oh,myGod.IjustrealizedI’llneedtotell
mymother.”

Iletoutachuckleatallofhisquestions,butIunderstand,it’sallalittleoverwhelming.
“Well...I’mdueinlateFebruary.ImadeanappointmentforWednesdayatthree,andthenthe

ultrasoundwillberightafterthat,butifyoucan’tmakeit,it’stotallyfine.”

“February,”herepeats,nodding.“I’llpickyouup,andwe’llgotogether.Iwillneverbetoobusy

foryou.”HereachesformyhandandpullsmecloseruntilI’magainsthischest.Heclosesthegap
betweenuswithhislips,andwhenhekissesme,it’ssoeasytoclosemyeyesandbetransportedback
tosixmonthsago—beforeourblowout,beforeBoston,andbeforethepregnancy.TravisandIhave
neverhada‘normal’relationship,andnowwithababyinthepicture,itcouldgetevenmore
complicated,butasIfeelhisbodypressedagainstmine,Ifeelnothingbuthappiness.Complicatedor
not,Iknowhe’llkeephispromisetome.He’llbethereforthebabyandmeandwon’tallowmetodo
thisbymyself,evenifIbeggedhimbecausehe’sstubbornlikethat.TravisKingisgoingtobea

wonderfuldad,andI’mgoingtobeanawesomemom,andwe’regoingtohaveabeautifulbaby
together.Itstillfeelssurreal.Evenwithhimherewithme—elated—itdoesn’tseemreal.

“I’vemissedyourlips,”hesays,pullingmylowerlipintohismouthandreleasingit.
“Oh,yeah?”
Hepressesanotherkissonthem.“Oh,yeah.Eventheselips,too,”heteasesandsmilesasIfinally

getwhathewasimplying.

“Ishould’veknownyou’dalreadybetryingtobreaktherules.”
“Fucktherules.Yourrulesneverstoodachanceanyway.”Hegrins,andIknowhe’sright,evenif

Iwon’tadmitit.

“So,you’llneedtotellGryffhe’sgettingasibling.”
“Whydon’tyoucomeoverandtellhimyourself?”Hearchesabrow,andIknowwherethisis

going.

“Fine,Iwill.”
“Maybestayandhaveasleepover.”
Igivehimapointedlook.
“What?It’snotlikeyoucangetpregnantagain...”
“Areyouseriouslytalkingaboutgettingmebackintoyourbedalready?”Ifrownandlookdown

atmyhugebelly.“Likethis?”

“Areyoureallythatsurprised?”Hechuckles.
Isigh,knowingIreallyshouldn’tbe.“Somethingsneverchange,King.”
Ilookdownandtakenoticeoftheimpressivetentinhispants.“Oh,God.You’reserious.”
Heshrugs.“Theysaytheheartdoesn’tforget,butIthinkwhattheymeantwasthedick...”
Thedooropens,andCourtneywalksinwithherpursethat’sthesizeofasmallsuitcaseswung

overhershoulder.

“Hey,boss,”shesaystoTravis,dropsthebagwithaloudthud,andwalkstothekitchen.He

quicklyadjustshimselfwhenshe’soutofsight.

“Didyoureallyhireher?”Iwhisper.
Helaughs.“Shekindofhiredherself.”
“Icanhearyoutwo,”sheyellsfromtheotherroom,andwebothcrackuplaughing.Itfeelsgood

tobewithhimagain.Imightactuallybeabletogetsomesleepnowwithouttheanxietyoftelling
Travisweighingonme.

Courtneychangesintoapairofleggingsandat-shirt.“Congratsonthebunintheoven,boss.”
“Court!”
“What?WecanstarttalkingaboutitnowthatTravisknows,right?”Shewinksatme,butIglareat

her.Imadeherpromisemeshewouldn’tsayaworduntilTravisknew,soIguessit’sfairgamenow.

“Ithinkthat’smycuetogetgoing,”Travissayswithasmileandstandsup.“Oh,Ialmostforgot.”

Hestopsbeforemakingittothedoor.Travispicksupapackageandhandsittome.Iglancedownat
it,andthenbackupathimbeforeItearthesilverpaperfromthesmallbox.Iliftthelidandseea
blackvelvetjewelryboxinside.

“What’sthis?”I’mconfusedandkindofnervoustoopenit.
“Goon,”Courtneysays,herfacealllitup.She’sontheedgeofthecouchwaiting.WhenIopen

thebox,Iimmediatelygasp.It’sasetofheart-shapeddiamondearrings,similartothenecklacehe
gavemeformythirteenthbirthday.

“Oh,myGod,Travis.They’rebeautiful,”Igush.“Butit’stoomuch.”Iwatchthemglimmerinthe

light.

“I’dbuyyoutheworldifIcould,princess,”hesays,dismissingmyreluctancetoacceptthem.

“Goahead,putthemon.”

AfterIputthemin,Itightlywrapmyarmsaroundhisneckandburymyfaceinhisneck.“Thank

yousomuch.”

Hewrapshisarmsaroundmywaistandpressesakissundermyear.“HappyBirthday,princess.I

loveyou.”Hethenpresseshispalmtomystomach.“Iloveyoutoo,littleone.”

Travisflashesmeanoverjoyedsmile,butbeforehecanwalkaway,Igrabhishandandpullhim

backtome.“Iloveyou,too,Travis.”

Sayingitfeelssoright,andwhenthewordsfinallyleavemymouth,Imeanthem.Ilovehim.I’ve

alwayslovedhim,andit’stimeheknows.Travisleansinandgivesmethesweetest,softestkissonthe
lips.

Hetellsmehe’llcallmelaterbeforewalkingout,andI’mleftreeling.Theonlythingthatbrings

mebacktorealityisCourtney’sbig,longhigh-pitchedaww.Iforgotshewasstillhere,becausewhen
hislipstouchedmine,theonlytwopeoplethatexistedatthemomentwereus.

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

TRAVIS

It’shardnottodoubtmyabilitytobeadad.ConsideringIdidn’thaveapositivemalerolemodelin
mylife,Iquestionit,buteachdayIremindmyselfthatIamnotmyfather.Nomatterwhat,I’llbe
thereformysonordaughter,andmakesuretogivealltheloveImissedouton.I’lltryeverydayto
settheexample,toshowlovewhilebeingaparent.Thiskidisn’thereyet,butmylifeisalready
drasticallychanging.Idon’twanttofail.

EvenifI’mscaredshitlessthatIwillmessthiswholedadthingup,IfeellikeI’mtheluckiestman

ontheplanet.Atleastthat’swhatIkeepthinkingwhenIglanceoveratViolaasIdrivetoour
appointment.It’snolongerherappointments.I’vemadesuretotakeownershipofeachandeveryone
ofthemfromnowuntilthedeliverydate.Ourappointments,ourbaby,ourfuture.

I’mgoingtobeadad.It’sascarythought,butknowingthatViolaistheone,andshe’scarrying

ourbaby,bringssuchasenseofjoytomethatit’salmostunexplainable.Sinceshe’sbeenhome,
we’vequicklyfallenbackintoouroldroutine,butwithoutallthewildsex.Itfeelsgreatknowing
therearenomoresecrets,andwecanbeasopenaswewish.

Thelastfewdays,she’sstoppedbytovisitGryffandme,andIstopbyCourtney’severyday

beforeIheadhome.EachtimeIleaveher,itsucks.Iwanthertomoveinwithmeorforustogetour
ownplace,butI’mtryingtokeepherstressfree.

Wepullintotheparkinglotofthedoctor'soffice,andoncewe’reparked,Igrabherhandandkiss

herknuckles.“Areyoureadyforthis?”

Shegivesmeasmallsmirk.“SomehowIdon’tthinkyou’rereferringtothedoctor'svisit.”
Archinganeyebrowupather,Ireply,“Definitelynot.”
“Thentakeme,TravisKing.Givemeyourbabies,”shesayswithalaugh.
“Consideritdone.”
Wegetoutofthecarandwalkinside.It’sthefirsttimeI’vesteppedfootinsideagynecologist’s

office,anditfeelslikealltheheadsturnandstareatme.Violasmilesatallthewomeninthewaiting
area,butherbodytenseswithnerves.

Onceshe’scheckedinandtheycallherback,shestepsonthescaleandtellsmetoturnaroundso

Ican’tsee.AsmuchasIwanttoremindherthatIdon’tcarewhatthenumberonthatscalesays,Iwant
torespectherprivacyaswell.Afterthat,theytakeherbloodpressureandaskherifanythinghas
changedsincethelasttimeshe’sbeenthere.Consideringshe’spregnantnow,shehadalottoupdate.

Whenthedoctorarrives,theytalkaboutalittleofeverything.It’soverwhelmingatfirst,butItry

tokeepup.Iwanttoknowallouroptionsandbirthplansandwhateverthehellanepiduralis.Iwant
tobehereforViolaasmuchaspossible.

ThedoctormotionsforViolatoliedownandlifthershirt.Shemeasuresherbellyfrom

underneathherbreastsallthewaydowntoherpelvis.Shetellsusshemeasuresrightontimefora
lateFebruaryduedate.

Shethenpressesherhandsintoherbelly,andIwatchasViolacringes.I’mnotsureifthat’s

normal,soI’mtemptedtosaysomething,butitdoesn’tlastbutamoment.Soonthedoctorispulling

herupright,andremindinghertotakeherprenatalvitamins.

Oncethedoctorleaves,IstandinbetweenViola’slegsandcupherchin.“Youarebeautiful,”I

remindher.

Shegivesmeaforcedsmile,butit’snotbelievable.
“Youarecarryingmybaby,andifthat’snotthesexiestandmostbeautifulthingintheworld,then

Idon’tknowwhatis.”

Shefinallysmileswideandkissesme.
Thenursestartlesusassheknocksonthedoorandpushesitopen.“Ibelieveyouscheduledyour

ultrasoundforafterthecheckup?Wendyisexpectingyouintheradiologydepartmentwheneveryou
twoarereadytoheaddown.”

Wetaketheelevatorsdowntothelowerlevelandfollowthesignstoanotherreceptionist’sdesk.

Thewoman’snametagreadsWendy,andIknowwe’reintherightplace.

OnceViola’sregistered,weonlyhavetowaitafewmomentsbeforetheycallusback.An

ultrasoundtech,wholatertellsushernameisKelly,greetsusatthedoorandleadsusdownahallway
toavacantroomwithalargeflatscreenTVhungonthewallandanultrasoundmachine.Everything
lookssoforeigntomeandI’mnotsurewhattoexpect,butI’mexcitedtobeherewithher.

KellyinstructsViolatositonthetableandleanallthewayback.Onceshedoes,shelooksoverat

meandsmiles.

“What?”Iask.
“Areyoureadytoseeourbaby?”
Igrabherhandandsqueeze.“Yes,Ican’twait.”
OnceViolaissettledonthetablewithherjeansunbuttonedandhershirtpulledup,Kellyturns

downthelightsandsettlesintothechairnexttous.

“Isawinyourchartthatyoudon’tknowthesexofthebabyyet.Doyouwanttofindouttoday?”
Violalooksoveratme,andshe’sbeaming.“Doyouwanttoknow?”
“It’suptoyou,princess.”Notknowingissomewhatkillingme,butitwouldn’tmatterifitwasa

littlegirlorboy.I’dlovehimorherjustthesame.

“Canwewait?Makeitabigsurprise?”sheasks,andIcan’tdenyherexcitement.
Thetechsmiles,andInod.
Violaturnstothetechandsmileswithanidea.“Couldyouwriteitdownandsealitinanenvelope

forus?”Violaasks,andIwanttoknowwhatshe’supto.Ofcourse,shenotices.

“IthoughtwecouldopenitonNewYear ’s.”She’senjoyingtorturingmewaytoomuch.“Assoon

astheclockstrikesmidnight.”

Ilaughathersweetidea.“Let’sdoit.”
“Thisisgoingtobealittlecold,”thetechwarnsViolaasshespreadsthegelonherstomachso

thewandwillmoveeasilyacrossherskinandthere’snoairinbetween.Ifeelmyheartbegintorace
asthetechplacesitonherstomachandmovesitarounduntilshelandsonapulsingbeat.Theroom
fillswithasoundthatremindsmeofawashingmachine.It’sourbaby’sheartbeat.

“So,you’vehadnoissuessinceyourlastappointment?”thetechasks.
“Nope.Everything’sbeengreat.”Sheglancesoveratmeandsmilesgenuinely.
“So,haveyoutwopickedoutanynames?”
“Notyet,”webothsayatthesametime.It’ssomethingwehaven’tdiscussedyet.
I’minawethatIcanseeourbaby’sfaceina3Dimage.IglanceoveratViola,smilingastearsof

happinessstreamdownherface.Istandupandgrabherhandinamazement.“Icanseethebaby’s
mouthandnose.”

“Everythinglooksperfect,”thetechsayswithasatisfiedsmile.“NowI’mjustgoingtotakesome

measurementsforthedoctor,andthenwhenIgettothelowerhalfofthebaby,I’llletyouknowso

youcanlookaway.”

I’mhalf-temptedtosneakaglance,butIdon’t.IwanttosharethatmomentwithViola.It’llbe

somethingjustforus.

“I’llprintsomeimagesoutforyoutotakehome,”shesays,clickingsomebuttonsonher

machine.Onceshe’sfinished,shesetseverythingdown.“Herearesometissuestowipethegeloff.”
Violatakesthemandcleansherbelly.Itsuddenlyfeelssoreal.

Thetechhandsusthe3Dimages,andwe’rebothinawe.
“Ican’tbelievewecanseesomuchdetailalready.”
“Ithinkit’sgoingtolookalotlikeyou,”Isay,examiningtheimages.
“Yeah?”sheaskswithhopefulnessinhertone.
“Yup.Justaddsomeglasses,atinywandintheirhand,andvoila!MiniatureViola.”
“Veryfunny!”Shewrinkleshernoseandpullshershirtbackdown.“Well,heorshewillclearly

havegoodtasteinbooks.”

“Clearly,”Imock.
Shestandsup,andIholdherinmyarmsandkissherhairandtellherhowmuchIloveher.

“We’rehavingababy,”Iwhisper.“We’rereallyhavingababy.”

VIOLA

“I’vegotasurpriseforyou,”Travissaysasweheaddownthehighwayintheoppositedirection

ofthehospital.ThestreetsandhousesaredecoratedwithChristmaslights,andIthinkabouthowthis
willbeourfirstChristmastogetherasacouple.Heinterlockshisfingerswithmineandsqueezes.
Whenwepulluptothemall,Ilaughathischoiceoflocation.

“You’rebringingmetothemall?”
“Thoughtyou’dwanttoseeSanta.”Hechuckles.“Actually,I’dliketospoiltheshitoutofyouand

mylittleprince.”

“Prince?Soyouthinkit’saboy?”Igrabtheenvelopeoutofmypurseandwaveitaround.Inside

onapieceofpaperisthesexofourbaby,andwhileI’msotemptedtoripitopen,Idon’t.

Hiseyeswiden.“NewYear ’s.It’snottoofaraway.Justacoupleofweeks.”
Ileanoverandkisshim,andheplaceshishandonthebackofmyheadandpullsmeevencloser.

Wegetoutofthecarandwalkintothemall.TwinklingChristmaslightsarestrungfromthetrees,and
it’ssodamncrowdedthatIalmostsecond-guessthisdecision.Travisgrabsmyhand,andwewalk
throughdifferentstores,andheasksmequestionsaboutthingsIlike.Thenextstorewewalkintoisa
babystore.Hefindsaonesiethathasacrownonitandbuysitimmediately.

“Butit’sblue,”Istate.
“It’sbecausewe’rehavingaboy.Butifwehavealittlegirl,I’llstilldressherinit,”hechuckles.
“Ifwehavealittlegirl,you’regoingtobethatscarydadwithtattoosthatdoesn’tletherdate,

ever.”

“Damnstraight.Andshe’llhaveabigstrongunclethatcarriesagunandhandcuffs.Nodating

untilshe’sthirty.I’mserious.”

Ishrugwithagrin.“She’lljustsneakaround.Seriously,lookwhoherparentsare.”
“Wedon’thavetoworryaboutitbecausewe’rehavingaboy.”
“Okay,whateveryousay.”
AswewalkpastVictoria’sSecret,heturnsandgivesmeasmirk.
“Don’teventhinkaboutit.I’mahouse.ThelastthingIfeelissexy.”

“Trustme,princess.You’resexy.”HeglancesdowntohiscrotchwhereIseeanimpressive

growthunderhisjeans.

I’mlaughingsohardIcanbarelycatchmybreath.Thegigglestakeoverandmystomachis

bouncingsomuchthatitmakesmelaughtothepointthatTravisjoinsin.Welookridiculous,
walkingthroughthemall,losingourshitlaughing.

HegrabsmyhandandleadsmeacrossthewaywhereSantaissitting.
“You’renotserious.”
“Comeon;itwillbeourfirstfamilyphoto.”
Hissmileisconvincing,soIfollowhimdownthedecoratedlanewithplasticcandycanes.Travis

paystheteenagerdressedasanelfandsoonwe’rewalkingupthestairsonthestage.Santapatshis
lap,andIlaughandsit.

“Haveyoubeenagoodgirl?”Theoldguylooksatme.He’ssuchagreatSanta;Idon’tevenhave

theurgetopullhisbeardlikeIdidwhenIwasakid.

Travisspeaksup.“No,Santa.She’sbeenaverybadgirl.”
Mymouthfallsopenwithagasp.“King!”
“AndwhatwouldyoulikeforChristmas?”IlookatSantaforalongwhileandthenlookto

Travis.

“IhaveeverythingIwant,actually.”Imeaneveryword.Instinctively,Itouchmytummy.Travisis

smilingsobig;IwishtheycouldtakethepicturerightatthisverymomentsoIcantreasureitforever.

“There’sboundtobesomething,”TravisasksasifhewaswaitingformetospillmygutstoSanta

andhiselves.

“I’dlikeworldpeace,”Isaywithasmile.
“Atypicalprincessanswer,”Travislaughs.
Santagivesusabigho,ho,ho,andIturntolookatthecamerawithasmileandtheelfsnapsthe

photo.Onceit’sprintedandputintooneofthosecardboardframeswithsnowflakesalongtheside,
shehandsittome.ImmediatelyIopenittosee.I’mlookingatthecamera,sohappy,withmylittle
babybump,andTravisislookingatmewithsomuchloveandadorationthatIcan’thelpbutturnto
himandkisshiminthemiddleofthemall,regardlessofallthepeopletryingtowalkpastus.

Frombehind,Ihearsomeonescoff,andIturnaroundtoseeMiaFuckingMontgomerystanding

there,withasmug-asslookonherface,andsomedudenexttoher.TravisgrabsmyarmbecauseI’m
readytokillher.SheglancesdownatmystomachandthenlooksatTravisandburstsintoanevil
laughter.“IwonderhowmanyotherKingbabiesarewanderingaround.”

“Nowhereneartheamountofsextapesyouhavefloatingaroundtheinternet.Orthenumberof

randomdicksyou’vehadinyourmouth,”Travisspitsbackather.

Miagaspsthenturnsandlooksatthebagofbonesstandingbesideher—unamused—buthe

doesn’tjumptodefendher.Eitherit’sbecauseTraviscouldriphiminhalforbecauseheknowsit’s
true.

I’venotseenTravisthisangryinyears.
“Can’tbelieveyousettledforthis.Lookather.Youcouldhavedonesomuchbetter.Pity,really.”

Shelooksmeupanddown.

“You’reabitch!I’msohappyDrewfinallymovedonfromyourskankyass,”Isaybetween

grittedteeth,takingafewstepsforward.Peopleturnandlookatus,andinanyothercircumstanceI’d
beembarrassed,butallIcanseeisred.Myheartbeatringsoutinmyears,andIwanttopunchherin
theface,pregnantornot.Shehurtmybrother;shehurtTravisandme,andthedamageshecaused
wasalmostirreparable.

Travisgrabsmyhandandpullsmeawayfromher,butI’mseethingtothepointthatIstartcrying.

I’mpissedIcan’tgaincontrolofmyemotions,andIhatethatpeoplearestaringatus.Oncethe

adrenalinecoursesthroughme,exhaustionfollows,withanextra-largedoseofdoubt.

“Comeon.Let’sgetoutofhere,”Travissays,rubbingmyback.
Afterwe’reinthecar,wesitinsilence.
“I’msorry,princess.Youdidn’tdeserveanyofthat.”
“Didyouhearwhatshesaid?”
Helooksatmewithsadeyesandnods.“Youknowwhat?Fuckher.”
“Shewantedyouto,”Iadd.Allthoseoldfearsstartfloodingbackinfullforce,anditputsmeon

edge.

“IcanguaranteeyoutheonlyKingbabyistheoneyou’recarrying.”Hegrabsmyhand.
“NooneelseI’veeverbeenwithhasmademefeelthewayyoudo.Ever.It’salwaysbeenyou,

Viola.I’vealwaysreservedthatpartofmyselfforyou.”

Iletoutaraggedbreath.“ButwhatifyouwakeuponedayanddecideI’mnotwhatyouwant?

Whatifshe’sright?”

“AndwhatifIcounterthatwithanotherscenario?WhatifIwakeupeveryday,knowingIlove

youmorethanI’veeverlovedanyoneinmylife?AndwhatifIhonestlybelieveI’mtheluckiestman
onearthbecauseI’vesomehowsnaggedthegirlofmydreams—thegirlIcrushedonasakid,that
forbiddenfruit—andshe’sgoingtohavemybaby?Becausethat’stherealitywelivein,thatwewill
alwayslivein.”Hebrusheshisthumbagainstmycheek.

“Youalwaysdothat,”Isay.
“What’sthat?”heasksashecranksthecar,thelowrumblecalmingme.
“Sayexactlytherightthingattherighttime.”Ismile.
Onthewayhome,weshareside-glancesandtherealizationofhowhappyTravismakesmesets

in.Afterbeingawayfromhimforsixmonths,Idon’tdaretakemomentslikethisforgranted.I
cherisheachandeveryoneofthem,butIknowtherewillbethousandsmore.Noonewilleverbe
abletotakethisawayfromus,becausewhatwehaveismorethanastupidcrushoraone-nightstand.

It’sreal.
It’sloveintherawestform.

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

TRAVIS

It’sfinallythenightI’vebeenwaitingfor,andeventhoughViola’sonlybeenbackforafewweeks,it
feelslikenothing’schangedatall.Well,exceptthatshe’scarryingmybaby,we’vebeenapartment
huntingtogether,andshetellsmeshelovesmeeveryday.

Sixmonthsago,Iwasatadead-endjobthatInolongerfeltpassionateabout.Thegirlofmy

dreamshadjustmovedacrossthecountry,andmybestfriendwouldbarelyspeaktome.I’dscrewed
up,andI’lllivewiththatfortherestofmylife,butIcan’tsayI’mnothappyaboutwherethathasall
leadme.DrewandIworkedoutourdifferences;KingMarketingisbecomingareality,Gryfffinally
stoppedchewingonallmydamnexpensiveshoes,andmostimportantly,Violaisfinallymine.I
couldn’tbeanyfuckinghappierrightnow.

NewYear ’sEveusedtomeangoingoutwithfriends,gettingdrunk,andbringingbackarandom

girlforameaninglessnighttogether.I’mnotproudofthattradition,butthisyearIplantomakea
newone.

Violahasheldontoherpromiseoffindingoutthebaby’sgenderuntilmidnight.We’regoingto

openittogetherinthepark,underthelights.Ihaveacouplemoregiftstosurpriseherwithtonightas
well,andshehasnoclue.Tonight’sanightwe’llbothrememberfortherestofourlives.

Violasleepsovermostnightsnow,andsinceshe’srestlessthemajorityofthetime,Ilethersleep

inwhileGryffandIgoforourmorningwalkandIbrewthecoffee.She’sbeensnoringinhersleep,
whichkeepsmeup.Gryffsleepsatourfeet,andwhenshe’snotkickinghimoffinthemiddleofthe
night,he’snuzzlinghiswayunderthecoversandstealingthemfromme.Thefirstthingwe’regetting
oncewemoveisaking-sizedbed.Andabiggerdogbed.

Afterourchillywalk,Igrabthenewspaperandpourmyselfahotcupofcoffee.Gryffsleepsat

myfeetasIscanthepaper.OnceIfinishtheworldnewssection,Ifliptothebusinessoverviewwhere
IseeCRAWFORDMARKETINGinboldletters.

Enronwasoneofthebiggestscandalsin2001,andmorethanadecadelater,anothercompanyis

facingsimilarcharges.CrawfordMarketing,foundedin1970,hasfallenunderthesamescrutinyof

theSecurityandExchangeCommission.Aformalinvestigationconcerningthe$400millionloss

reportedbythecompanyinthefourthquarterwillbeginsoon.Reliablesourceshavestatedearnings

havebeenmisrepresentedforanundisclosedtimeperiod,andembezzlementchargeshavebeenfiled

againstAlyssaCrawford,daughteroftheChiefExecutiveOfficer.

Ishakemyheadwithaslysmirkonmyface.I’msogladIleftwhenIdid.BlakeandAlyssadeserve
eachotherafterthatstunt,andthey’llbetogetherforever—behindbars.

Drewslowlywalksdownthehallinjusthispajamabottoms,hiswildhairinabun,andbags

underhiseyes.

“Roughnight?”Iask,noddingmyheadtothecoffeemaker.“There’ssomeleft.”

“Youcouldsaythat,”hemumbles,grabbinghimselfacup.“Nooffense,man,butwhenthehell

areyoutwomovingout?Ican’ttakeanothernightofhersnoring.”

“Soon,Ipromise.”
“Idon’tknowhowyousleepnexttothat.”Heshakeshishead,walkingbackovertothetableand

sittingdownnexttome.“It’slikeatrain’scomingrightthroughthehouse.”

“Idon’t.”Isigh.“God,Ihopeafterthebabycomes,itstops;otherwise,noneofuswilleverget

sleepagain.”

Drewlaughsinagreement.
“Whatareyoutwolaughingabout?”Violaasks,waddlingintothediningroom.
“Oh,nothing,”Isay,reachingahandoutandbringinghertomylap.Drewbringshiscupupto

hislipsandhidesasmilebehindit.

“How’dyousleep?”Iaskher.
“Asgoodasonecanwithanextrafiftypoundsontopofthem.”
“Well,hopefully,you’llloseitallafterthebabyishereandwecanallsleepagain,”Drew

comments,andIwince,knowingimmediatelythatViolaisgoingtochewhisassout.

“Imeantthedog,asshole!Gryffkeptnudginghiswayinbetweenus.”
“Oh,sorry!”Heputshishandsupinanapologeticsurrender,andIlaughathisexpense.
“AndIhavenotgainedfiftypounds,thankyouverymuch,”shesayswithascowl.“I’vegained

twenty-one,andthedoctorsaidthatwasintheperfectrange.”

“You’rebeautifulnomatterhowmanypoundsyouputon,”Itellher,butshedoesn’tsmile.
“Youtwosuck.”Shegetsupandwalksintothekitchen.She’sonlytwomonthsawayfromherdue

datenow,andIcantellshe’sgettinganxious.“Comeon,Gryff.Let’sgostuffourfacesinprivate
wherewewon’tbejudged.”

DrewandIsitinsilenceforamoment,andwhenI’msureViolaisoutofhearingdistance,Ilean

towardhim.“So,Ihavesomethingtoshowyou.”

Ireachintomypocket,andDrewspeaksup,“Dudeifyouwhipyourdickout,I’mpunchingyou

inthethroat.”

“Hey,Ididthatonetime!AndIwasdrunk,”Isayinmydefense.
OnceI’mdoneshowingoffViola’ssurprise,IstuffitbackintomypocketbeforesheandGryff

walkbackin.“I’mgoingtotakeashower.”

“Wantsomehelp?”Igrin,knowingshe’llprobablysmackmeforthatone.
“Icouldusesomehelpshaving.Ihaven’tseenmyvaginainacoupleofweeks.”
Drewmakesagaggingnoise,andViolalaughsathisexpense.
“Youdidthatonpurpose,”Drewcomplains.
“That’swhatyougetfortheweightcomment!”shefiresback.Gryfffollowsherdownthe

hallwayasIstandupandsetmycupinsidethesink.

“Ihopeyouknowwhatyou’vegottenyourselfinto,”Drewsaysbehindme.“She’sfeistyashell

onagoodday.Idon’tevenwanttoimaginewhenshegivesbirth.”

“Iplantowearacupthatday.Andmaybeevenahelmet.”
“Iheardthat,TravisKing!”sheshoutsfromthebathroom.
“Ohyeah,forgottomentionhersuper-enhancedhearing.Someweirdpregnancyhormonething,”

Drewexplains.“Ourmomhadittoowhenshewasinherthirdtrimester.”

“Anychanceshehadanoveractivesexdriveafterbirth,too?”Ichuckleasherollshiseyesatme,

lookinghorrified.“Hey,yougosixmonthswithoutsexandseewhat’sonyourmindtwenty-four
seven!”

“Sixmonths,huh?”heaskswithanimpressedtone.“Andyourhandhasn’tgonenumbyet?”
“Surprisinglynot.”

Hepatsmeontheshoulder.“Hanginthere,man.You’llhavesexagainineighteenyearsorso.”
“Comforting.Thankyou.”
“Ialwayssavemybestadviceforyou.”

OnceViolaandIarebothreadyfortheday,wetakeGryffforawalkinthepark,wherefamiliesare
allsetuptoenjoythefireworkswhentheclockstrikesmidnight.It’soneofthedogparksaround
here,andeventhoughitcansometimesbeoverwhelming,Gryfflovestheinteraction.

“So,areyougettingexcitedaboutthereveal?”Iaskher.We’rewalkingsidebyside,holding

hands,andIcan’thelpthinkingabouthowthisnightisgoingtochangeeverything.

“Iam!”Shesmiles.“You?”
“Oh,yeah.I’malreadythinkingofnamesforthelittleman.”
Sherollshereyesatme,onceagain,forcommentingaboutitbeingaboy.“Ihopeyouaren’t

goingtobedisappointedifit’sagirl.”

“Ofcoursenot.I’mnotsureIcouldhandleanotherprincessinmylife,butI’msureIcouldmake

room.”Ismirk,bringingherhandupandkissingherknuckles.“Haveyouthoughtofanynames?”

“Yes,butI’mprettysureyou’regoingtovetothemall.”
“Dotheyhaveanythingincommonwithacertainbookseries?”Iarchabrow,knowingdamn

wellshe’sthoughtofnamesbasedonherfavoritebooks.

“Possibly,”shesayswithaglare.“Nomoviecharacters,though.”
“So,IguessBridgetJonesisoffthetable?”
Shesnortsandshakesherheadatme.“Definitely.”
“Damn.Iwashopingonedaytobeabletotellthatstoryasthenightwechristenedtheliving

roomfloor.”

“Travis!”shescolds,slappingmyarm.“I’mstartingtothinkyougetnovotesnow.”
“Aw,youdon’tmeanthat.”Ipushoutmylowerlip,andsheletsoutadreamysigh.
Wewalkoutoftheparkandheadbackhome.She’sbeendoingprettywell,takingregularwalks

tokeepuphermomentumandstrength.Iknowasthedaysgetcloser,she’sgoingtofeelworndown
andtired,butshe’sbeendoinggreatsofar.I’msuperimpressedwithhowwellshe’sadjustedto
everything.

“Ican’twaituntilwecantakethebabyonourwalkswithusinthestroller,”shesaysaswemake

ourwayinsidethehouse.

“Well,whenI’matwork,youguyswillhaveplentyoftimetogoforwalks.Aslongasyoutake

Gryff,though.He’syourbodyguardwhenI’maway.”

“Well,untilthebabyisoldenoughtogotoasitter.”
“Wait,what?”Iask,unhookingGryff’sleash.“Whywouldthebabyneedasitter?”
“ForwhenIgotowork,”shestates,leavingmespeechless.“Idon’twanttowastemydegree.”
“It’snotwastingyourdegree,Viola.You’llalwayshaveit,butdon’tyouwanttobetheoneto

raisethebaby?Ijustfigured—”

“ThatI’dbeoneofthosestay-at-homemomsthatliveinyogapants,dirtyt-shirts,andunwashed

hair?”

“Well,Iwasn’tnecessarilytalkingabouttheuniform...”
“Whatever.Idon’twanttobeleftalonealldaylongwhileyou’reatwork.”
“ButIwanttobetheonetoprovideforyou,forus.Ileftmycorporatejobwithyouinmind,

Viola.Iwantedtomakesureourfuturewasplannedout.”

“So,we’rejustgoingtomakeadozenbabies,andI’llstayhomeandcookandcleanandthen

we’llbethenextTLCspotlightfamily?”

Iswallow,watchinghersteamintooverdrive,andwonderinghowthehellI’msupposedtohandle

thissituationwhenherhormonesgetthebestofher.Weprobablyshould’vediscussedthisbeforeI
madeassumptions,butnowIdon’tknowhowtogetmyselfoutofitwithoutpissingheroffeven
more.

“Okay,wecandowhatevermakesyouhappy.”Itakeasteptowardher,watchingherchestrise

andfallasshetakesdeepbreaths.“Calmdown,princess.We’llmakethiswork;Ipromiseyou.We
don’thavetomakeanydefiniteplansrightnow.Nothingissetinstone.”

“ExceptforthefactthatIhavetopopthisbabyoutofmyvag.”
“Well,yeah.Unfortunately,Ican’tfixthatlittledetail.”Iwatchasshefidgets.“Deepbreaths,

princess.Everythingisgoingtobefine.”

“Idon’tknowwhyIgetlikethis.OnesecondI’mfine,andthenext,I’mfreakingout,

overthinkingeverythingandquestioningifwe’rereadyforthis,andwhatifsomethinggoeswrong
orwhatifI’mnotstrongenoughtogothroughlaboror—”

“Viola,”Isayfirmly,grabbingherattention.“Youaregoingtodriveyourselfinsane,

overanalyzingeverylittlethingthatmightormightnotgowrong.I’mhereforyou,okay?I’mnot
goinganywhere,andwhateverhappens,we’llfigureitouttogether.Gotit?”

“Okay,”shesayssoftly.Ibringherlipstomineandkissher,remindingherexactlyhowmuchI

loveher.“Areyousureyoustilllovethistrainwreck?”

“Moreandmoreeverysingleday.”

AfterViolatakesashower,sheendsupfallingasleeponthecouchwithGryff.Idon’tdaredisturbher
becauseIknowhowtiredshegets.Myparentsaredrivingdowntomeetusfordinnertonight,which
willbeViola’sfirsttimeseeingtheminyears.ItoldmymomoverthephonethatViolawaspregnant,
andshe’sbeenecstaticoverthenews.

Myfatherissickerthanbefore,andmymomisstilldoingeverythingshecantokeephimalive.I

knowsheloveshim,andIadmireherstrength.Idon’topenlytalkaboutitunlessshegivesmethe
impressionshewantsto,buttonightwillbeaboutnewbeginningsandthenextchapterinourlives.As
muchasIlookforwardtothisnextyearofourlives,I’malsoenjoyingeverystepofthejourney
alongtheway.

IpeekatViolaoncemorebeforeIstepoutside,needingtomakesureshe’sstillasleep.Idial

Courtneyandmakesuretokeepmyvoicelowjustincaseherenhancedhearingtakeseffectagain.

“What’sup,boss?”Sheanswersonthefirstring.
“Viola’sasleep,soIwantedtogothroughtheeventsfortonightonemoretime,”Isay,pacingon

thedriveway.

“We’vebeenoveritfivetimes!”
“Justhumorme,Courtney!”
Shelaughsandletsoutaloudsigh.“Fine.Ifthat’swhatwillgetmearaise...”
“Araise?Wehaven’tevenopenedthedoorsyet!”
“WhatcanIsay?Mydaddytaughtmehowtoplayhardballatayoungage.”
Ibrushanervoushandthroughmyhairandmutterafewcursewords.“Fine,”Iagreethrough

grittedteeth.“I’llhaveDrewcometwiceaweektodeliverlunch.Happynow?”

Icantellshe’ssmilingontheotherendjustbythehigh-pitchedtoneinhervoice.“Yes,very.Now

wasthatsohard?”

“IknewI’dregretcallingyouthatday,”Imutter,knowingdamnwellshe’llhearme.
“Andnowyou’restuckwithmeforever.Getusedtoit,King.”
“Canwepleasejustgothroughtheplanonemoretimenow?”I’mlosingmypatience,andshe

CHAPTERNINETEEN

VIOLA

IwakeuptoGryfflickingmyface.He’spressingonmybladder,andI’mtwosecondsawayfrom
peeingmyself.

“Getdown,buddy.”Ipushhimslightly,andhejumpsdown,givingmetheopportunitytorolloff

thecouch.“Where’sDaddy?”Iaskhimaswewalkdownthetooquiethallway.“Travis?”Icallout,
butnooneanswers.“Hmm,weird.”

Iusethebathroomandgetmyselfsomethingtodrink.Weshouldbeleavingwithinthehourto

meetupwithhisfamily,soIknowhecan’tbetoofaraway.Idigintothefridgeandgrabanappleto
holdmeoveruntildinner.Iglancearoundandseethenewspaperlyingontopofthekitchentable.I
shufflethroughituntilthewordsCrawfordMarketinggrabsmyattention.

Well,well,well.Wouldn’tyaknow?LittleMissBlondiegotherselfintoalittlebitoflegaltrouble.

Ican’tevenfeelsorryforsomeonelikethat.Karma’sabitch,afterall.

“Viola?”IhearTravis’voicecallout.Ilookbehindmeandseehimalldressedupinablacksuit

andtie.Iswallow,needingtocontrolmybreathing.He’salwayslookedamazinginsuits,buttonight,
somethingisdifferent.Helooksincredible.Andhappy.

“Where’dyougo?”Iask.
“Ihadtorunacoupleoferrands.Whatareyoudoing?”
“Ijustwokeup,andthebabywashungry,sowefoundasnack,”Isayashewrapshisarmsaround

me,thebabybumpputtingmorespacebetweenusthanusual.

“Iseethat.”Hedipshisheadandtakesabiteoftheapple.“Wehavetoleavesoon,”hereminds

me.

“Iknow.Iwasjustlookingataveryinterestingarticleinthepaper.”Ipursemylips.
“Yeah,nothinglikebadpressforoneofthelargestfirmsinthestate.”
“MaybethatmeansRoyaltyMarketingwillbethenextbestthing.”Igrin,knowinghe’saboutto

scoldme.

“It’sKingMarketing,stoptryingtomakeRoyaltyMarketinghappen!”
IburstoutlaughingathisMeanGirlsreference.“Oh,myGod!Don’tmakemelaugh!Imight

pee!”

“So,thenIshouldn’tdothis?”Hebringshishandsdownandticklesmysides.Helaughsharder

themoreIsquirmandasmuchasItrytobackoutofhistrap,hedoesn’tletup.

“Iseethosechickflickshavereallybenefitedyou.”
Hefinallystopstorturingmeandpullsmeinclose.“Itwastheonlywaytofeelclosetoyoufor

thosesixmonths.ButafterDrewcaughtmecryingaloneinmyroomtoTheNotebook,hebasically
strippedmeofmymancard.”

“So,thenisthisthepartwhereyouaskmetoslowdanceintherainandgazeintomyeyesandsay

sweetnothingsinmyearallnightlong?”

Hechuckles,presseshislipstotheshellofmyear,andwhispers,“ItoldyouI’mnotlikethose

guysinyourromancebooks.I’llsayexactlywhatIwant,andwhatIwantistobendyouoverthis

kitchentableandfuckyouuntilyoucounttoten.Oruntilthetablebreaks,whicheverhappensfirst.”I
feelhiscockysmirkagainstmyneck,butIknowhe’sdeadserious.

“Ifourbabycomesoutswearingfilthywords,Iknowwho’stoblame.”
“I’llpleadthefifth.”Heleansdownandkissesmymouth.
Iwrapmyarmsaroundhimandpullhimcloser.“Howdidthishappen?”Iask,breakingthekiss

butstayingpressedagainsthim.“HowcouldIleaveyouforsixmonths?Whydidyouwaitforme?”

TheemotionsIfeelforTravisarebecomingtoomuchformetohandle.They’reoverflowing,

andIhavebeenfeelingmoreandmoreguiltyforwhatI’veputhimthrough.Everythingthat
happenedbetweenus,frombeingkidstoteenagers,towherewearenow.SomedaysIwakeupand
can’tunderstandhowwemadeithere.

“Whyareyoucrying,princess?”Herubshisthumbovermycheekandcatchesthetears.
IshrugbecauseIknowthewordswon’tcomeoutright.
“Everythingthathappenedneededtohappensowecouldmakeittowherewearerightnow.

Happy,inlove,abouttohaveababy...”Hesmilessowidethatitmakesmestarttearingupallover
again.“Ican’tevenbemadhowitwentdownbecauselookhowthingsendedup,princess.You,me,
ourbaby.It’sallI’veeverwanted,andIcouldn’taskforanythingmore.”

“Youtrulyareperfect,TravisKing.Doyouknowthat?”Iwipeawaytherestofmytearsand

smileupathim,admiringhowgoodhelookstonight.

“OnlywhenIhavemyotherhalfdoesitfeellikemylifeisperfect,andthat’sonlythankstoyou.”

Hetiltsupmychinandpresseshislipstomineonceagain.Damnhim.Icouldstayherewithhimall
day,andnevertireofthewayhekissesme.

“Ihavetofinishgettingready,”Igroanagainsthislips.“Idon’twanttoshowuplookinglikea

bloated,fatwhale.”ImakeafaceasIstepawayandhepatsmeontheasstohurryitup.

OnceI’mdressed,myhairiscurled,andmymakeupisdone,I’mnearlyoutofbreath.Thattook

moreenergythanIanticipated,andnowI’mreadyforanothernap.

“Thisbabyissuckingeveryounceoflifeoutofme,andit’snotevenbornyet,”Iwhine,grabbing

mypurseoffthetableandslippingintomyflats.Noheelsforme.

“He’sjustpreparingyouforwhenhe’shere,andyou’llneedtofunctionononlyacouplehours

ofsleepanight.”

“I’mtellingyou...it’sagirl,”Isayasheopensthedoorandhefollowsmeout.
“Iguesswe’llfindoutsoon.”

It’sbeenyearssinceI’veseenTravis’momanddad.Iwasexpectingittobeawkwardashell,but
surprisinglyitfeltlikeoldtimes.JustlikeeverythingwithTravis,itfeltasifnotimehadpassedatall.

Hismotherisecstaticaboutthebaby,andIknowshe’sgoingtomakeeveryefforttocomeand

visitusonceheorsheisborn.Hisfatherhaslostweight,andhe’spaleandnoticeablyweaker.Ifeel
forTravis,andalthoughtheirrelationshiphasbeenanythingbutasolidone,Ihopetheycanmendit
enoughforthesakeofourbaby.I’dloveforhisfathertoformsomekindofrelationshipwithour
childsincehisdaysaregoingtobenumbered.

Oncewefinishdinner,weorderdessertandstarttalkingaboutbabynames.Hismomgivesusa

listoffamilynames,incaseweneededanyinspiration.IwishIcouldsaythatweplantotakethelist
intoconsideration,butIcan’tfathomnamingourbabyafterTravis’greatuncle,SeamanGaylord
King.

Afterdinner,wepartways.It’salmost9:00p.m.andI’mnotsureI’llevenbeabletomakeitto

midnighttoopenthegenderrevealenvelopetogether.Drewisworking,andCourtneyispartying

withafewotherfriends,sowehavethehousetoourselves,butIjustwanttoloungeonthecouchand
readuntilIfallasleep.However,Travis,asusual,hasotherplans.

“Pleasetellmewherewe’regoing!”Ibegfromthepassengerseat.Hekeepshiseyesontheroad

andhislipsinatauntingsmirk.

“We’llbetheresoon,justbepatient.”
“Ihatesurprises,”Igroan,gettingasmileoutofhim.
Travispullsintoasuburbanneighborhoodandparksonthesideoftheroadinfrontofalarge

Victorianhouseonasmallhill.Thestreetlightsglowoverthesidewalk,andIcan’tplaceexactly
whereweare.

“Whatarewedoing?”
Heslidesoutofthecar,andIwatchashewalksaroundandopensmydoorforme.“Comeon.”
Confusedandalittleskeptical,Istepoutandlethimtakemyhand.Ashepullsmeup,heshutsthe

doorbehindmeandweaveshisfingersthroughmine.

“Travis,”Isayasheleadsmeupthesidewalk.“Whatisgoingon?”
Westartwalkingupthestepsthatleadupthehilltothestunninghouse.Thehouseispitchblack,

anditlookslikenooneishome.

Travisstopsusaboutmidwayuptheporchstairsandpositionsustowardthehouse.“So,whatdo

youthink?”

“Aboutwhat?”
“Thehouse.”
“Um...it’sgorgeous.Wholiveshere?”
Hedigsintohispocketandpullsoutasmallbox.Myheartbeginsracing,thumpinghardinmy

chestasIwatchhim.Heopensitslowly,andIswallowdowntheanxietyofwhatishappeningright
now.Istudythelittleboxinhispalmandwonderifit’swhatI’mthinking.

“Asofthismorning,wedo.”Heopenstheboxandpullsoutakeywitharedribbontiedthrough

it.

“Wait,what?”Igasp,myheadspinningathiswordsbecausetheymakenosense.We’vebeen

lookingatapartmentads,butnothingseemedtoworkout.“Idon’tunderstand.”

“Imadeanofferonthishouseaboutamonthago,anditjustclosedthismorning.”
“But...Ithoughtwewereapartmenthunting?”I’mthoroughlyconfused,andIdon’tknowifit’s

pregnancybrain,butmymindisaclusterfuckofemotions.

“Thatwasjusttoputyouoffofmysurprise.”Hesmiles.“Isawasignforanopenhouseandona

whimdecidedtogocheckitout.AssoonasIsawit,Iknewitwasmeantforyouandme.There’sa
largediningroom,afireplaceinthelivingroomsoyoucanreadnexttoit,alargebathtubsoyou
canrelaxoncethebaby’sasleep,andevenalittlenookwithbuilt-inbookshelvesforyourHarry
Pottercollection.Plus,therearefourbedrooms,whichmeanswecandecorateonetobethenursery.
Theneighborhoodisperfect.It’sclosetomyjob,hasgoodschools,andthere’sanicebigbackyard
forGryffandevenroomforaswingset.Ididn’tknowifyou’dcomebacktome,butIjustknewI
couldn’tletitgo.Iputanofferinthenextday,andtheyaccepted.”

“YouboughtitbeforeIwasevenbackhome?”Iask,shockedandcompletelyamazedbythisman

standinginfrontofme.

“Idid.”
“Ican’tbelieveyoudidthat.”Ican’tbelieveIeverdoubtedthisman’sloveforme.
“Iwanttogiveyoutheworld,Viola.Youdeserveeverythingandmore,andnowwithababyon

theway,Iwanttomakesureyou’rebothtakencareof.Nomoregames,nosecretsorlies.Iwantusto
beafamily.”

“Idon’tknowwhattosay...”Myeyesarewatering,andIcan’tgetahandleonmyemotions.

“Sayyou’llmoveinwithme,”hesays,placingthekeyinmyhandandwrappinghisfingers

aroundmyfist.“Ican’timaginelivingherewithoutyou.”

“Areyoukiddingme?”Isqueal,wrappingmyarmsaroundhisneckanddiggingmyfaceintohis

neck.“Icouldn’timagineanythingbetter.”

Hecupsmyfaceandcoversmymouthwithhis.Weshareaheatedkiss,passionateandsweet.I

lovethisman,andwithoutanydoubtinmymind,TravisKingwasalwaysmeanttobemine.

“Areyoureadytocomelookinside?”
Inodmyheadfuriously.“Yes!Oh,myGod,Ican’twait!”
Heleadsmetothedoorandgivesmethehonorofunlockingthedoor.IholdmybreathasIpush

itopenandlookinside.Heflicksthelightson,andIgasp.

“It’ssobeautiful,”Imurmur,tryingtolookateverythingatonce.“Ican’tbelievethis.”
“Comeon,letmeshowyoutherest.”Heleadsmeintothelivingroomandflicksonthelights,

andonceagainsurprisesme.There’sawhite-litChristmastreeandwhitelightshangingfromthe
ceiling.

“Whathaveyoudone?”Ispinaroundwiththebiggestgrinonmyface;Icanhardlycontain

myself.“It’sgorgeousinhere!”

Hegrabsmyhandandleadsmetothecenteroftheroom.WhenIlookup,Iseemistletoehanging

fromoneofthelightfixturesandgiggle.“Youknowyoudidn’tneedmistletoetogetakiss.”

Hedoesn’trespond,soIassumehedoesn’thearme.Ispinaround,readytorepeatmyself,but

whenIdo,he’sdownononekneeholdingoutaring.

“What—”
“Viola,myprincess.”
“Travis,whatareyoudoing?”Icovermymouthandsqueal.
Hegrabsmyotherhandandsmiles.“RememberearlierwhenIsaidthatIcouldn’taskfor

anythingmorebecauseIwasjustsohappytobewithyou?”

Inod,holdingbackmoretears.
“Well,Ilied.Thereisonemorethingthatwouldmakemethehappiestman.OnemorequestionI

needtoaskyou...”

Igasp.
“Iknowourrelationshipmayseemunconventionaltosome,butit’sourstory,andit’llalwaysbe

myfavoriteone,nomatterhowmanyotherchickflicksyoumakemewatchorhowmanyromance
novelsyouread.”

Ireleaseasob,laughinginbetween.
“Willyoumarryme,ViolaFisher?”
InodbecauseI’mtooovercomewithemotiontospeakactualwords.
“Yes?Isthatayes?”heclarifies,smilingupatme.
“Yes!”Ishout.Asheslidestheringupmyfinger,heplacesakissovermyknuckles.
“Youjustmademethehappiestguyintheworld.Doyouknowthat?”Hestandsupandcupsmy

face.“Thefuckinghappiest.”

“Andyousayyouaren’tliketheguysinmyromancebooks?”
Heleansinandkissesme,softlyatfirst,andthenopensmymouthwiderwithhistongueand

pressesdeeper.Igroanagainsthislips,andhegripsmywaisttighter.

“Dammit,Iwanttofuckyourightnow,”hewhispersagainstmylips,andIchuckle.“How’sthat

forromance?”

“I’dsayyounailedit.”
“So,youreadytofindoutifwe’rehavingalittleprinceorprincess?”
“Yes!”

CHAPTERTWENTY

TRAVIS

Ninemonthslater...

“Courtney!”Ibellowfrommyoffice.“Getinhere,please!”

“Yeah,boss?”sheasks,peekingherheadinside.She’sdressedupmorethanusual,whichisreally

nosurprisesinceit’sFriday.Drewalwaysstopsinandbringseveryonelunchattheendoftheweek.
It’soneofthearrangementsI’vehadtomaketogetCourtneyonmypermanentstaff.She’sprovedto
beanasset,andaftershehadstartedgettingoffersfromothercompanies,IknewIhadtoupmygame
tokeepherevenifthatmeantofferingDrewasbait.

“Ihaveaoneo’clockinterview,soanylunchshenanigansneedtobedonebeforethen.”
Shestepsinandrollshereyesatme.“Please,Travis.Drewhasmadeitveryclearthatwe’rejust

friends.”

“Butthathasn’tstoppedyoufromtrying.”Icurlmylipsupinamockingsmirk.Shehatesitwhen

IgivehershitforcrushingonDrew.

“Well,I’mnotaquitter,”shesays,shrugging.“Thosecuffsmightcomeouttoplayoneofthese

days.”

Isnortandshakemyheadather.“You’dhavemoreluckdevirginizingamonk.”
“Hey,don’ttemptme.”
“Trustme.I’mnot.”DrewisanidiotfornottakingCourtneyuponheroffers.She’sgorgeous

andsmartandlooksathimlikehe’sthebestthingsinceNutella.ButDrewisn’toverMiayet,whichis
adamnshame,sohekeepsCourtneyatfriend-zonedistance.AsfarasIknow,theyonlytalkandtext
eachotheraboutViola,thewedding,orthebaby.Courtneyisthemaidofhonor,andDrewismybest
man,whichgivesCourtneymoreexcusestobearoundhim.IonlyhopehegetsoverMiabeforeit’s
toolateandCourtneyhasmovedon.

“So,whereareyoutakingViolathisweekend?”It’sourfirstweekendawaysincethebabywas

bornsixmonthsagoinFebruary.Wehaven’thadadatenightsince,andwe’rereadytohavesome
alonetimewithouthavingtoscheduleitbetweenfeedings,diaperchanges,andafternoonnaps.

“That’sasurprise,”Iretort.
“C’mon,Iwon’ttell!”shepleads,butIknowbetter.Thosetwotelleachothereverything.AndIdo

meaneverything.

“Fine!”Shefoldsherarmsoverherchestandfrowns.“Butwhenyoucan’tfindthenetworkIP

addresstotheprinteragain,don’taskme!”Shestartswalkingbackoutofmyoffice.

Laughing,Iyellforhertocomeback,andItellher.“I’mtakingheruptoacabinatLakeTahoe.

NoTV,noInternet,nocellreception.Completelyoffthegrid,”Isaywithananxioussmile.“There’s
alandlineforemergencies,though.IknowViolawillworryifthere’snowaytocallhome.”

“Good,youtwoneedit.”
“Trustme,Iknow.IplantomakeViolaexhaustedforanentirelydifferentreasonthisweekend.”
“Yeah,yeah.You’regoingtohumplikerabbits.Sparemethedetails.”

“Who’shumpinglikerabbitsallweekend?”Drewasksfromthedoorway,andCourtneyspins

aroundsofast,Iswearshe’sgoingtofallonherass.

“YoursisterandTravis.They’regoinguptothecabintobangallweekend.”
Drewsighs.“That’sanimageI’llnevergetoutofmyhead,thankyou.”
“Untilyou’vewalkedinonthem,youhavenothingtocomplainabout,”Courtneysayswitha

visibleshiver.

“Well,that’swhatyougetforwalkingintomyofficewithoutknocking,”Ifireback,remembering

thatdayverywell.

“Sexontheclock,huh?HowcomewhenIsuggestpersonaltimeontheclock,Igettoldtogetout

ofyouroffice?”Courtneyquips.

“Getoutofmyoffice,”Isaywithoutabeat.
Drewlaughsandshakesabagoffoodather.“Ihaveyourweeklybonus.”
“Perfect,I’llbetakingmylunchbreakontheclock.”Sheturnsandglaresatme.
Anhourlater,Courtneyletsmeknowmyintervieweehasarrivedandsaidtopreparemyself.

Rollingmyeyesathercomment,Itellhertosendherin.Amomentlater,thedoorswingsopen,and
themomentIcatchsightofherblondehairanddesignerpurse,Icanbarelyhidethegaspthatreleases
frommymouth.

VIOLA

IlookattheclockandrealizeTraviswillbehomeanymoment.Ihaven’tstartedpackingyet,andI

knowhe’sgoingtowanttoleaveassoonashismotherarrives.

Grabbingasuitcasefromthecloset,Iglanceatmyreflectioninthemirrorandfrown.Ilooklike

ahotmess;Ihaven’tshoweredinthreedays,andmyhaircontainsdryshampooandbabyspitup.It’s
piledontopofmyheadwitharubberbandIfoundonthebathroomfloor.Sweatpantsandaholeyt-
shirtcompletemyless-than-glamorouslook.Ihaven’twornmakeupinmonths,andIcan’teven
rememberthelasttimeIworeclothesthatdidn’tcomewithastainoranelasticwaistband.Butthe
truthis,I’dratherbeathomewiththebabythanpushingpapersinacorporatesetting.Igetpaidin
snugglesandcoos,andIwouldn’tgiveupthosemomentsforawinninglotteryticket.

“Viola!”IhearTravisyellfromthestaircase.Iquicklyrushdownthehallwayandshushhim.

“Oops,sorry.”

“Youknowit’snaptime!”Iwhisper-hissashewalksupthestairs.
“Iknow,I’msorry.”Hewrapshisarmsaroundmywaistandpullsmeintohischest,pressinghis

lipsagainstmyforehead.“I’mjustsoexcitedtogetsomealonetimewithyouthisweekend.”

“Iamtoo,butI’mnervoustoleavethebaby.”
“Don’tbenervous.Everythingwillbefine.Thebabywillbefine.We’llbefine.Ipromise.”He

tiltsmychinupandpressesasoftkissonmylips.“Areyougoingtobeokay?”

“Yes,I’mjustnotfeelingwell.”
“It’snerves,princess.Weneedthis,okay?”
Ishakemyhead,knowinghe’sabsolutelyright.It’sbeensolongsincewe’vehadanightto

ourselves.“Ilooklikeadisaster.”

“You’regorgeousnomatterwhat.”Hekissesmeagain,andforamoment,Ilosemyselfinhim.

Breakingthekiss,hesays,“Nowgoshower.I’llfinishpacking.”

“How’dyouknowIdidn’tfinish?”
“Justhadafeeling,”heanswerswithamischievousgrin.
“AmIthatobvious?”

“Go,”hepushes.“I’llcheckonthebaby.”
Iwalkdownthehalltothelinenclosetandgrabacoupleoftowels.Beforeshuttingthedoor,I

alsograbanewrazor,becauseLordonlyknowshowlongit’sbeensinceI’veshaved.AsI’mwalking
backtowardourbedroom,IstopjustoutsideofthenurseryandlistentoTravis’softvoice.

“Well,helloprincess.”Ipeekinside,andheliftsheroutofthecrib.“Hey,mybeautifulgirl.”He

kissesherforeheadandshecoos.

Watchingashelaysheronthechangingtable,Ileanupagainstthedoorframeandadmiremy

amazingmanandhowwonderfulheiswithourdaughter.He’sacompletenatural,justlikeIknew
he’dbe,butIknowhehadhisownconcerns,consideringhisrelationshipwithhisfather.However,
thelovethatpoursoutofhimisinfectious.SometimesIcan’tevenbelieveafterallthistimethat
we’retogether,engagedwithanewbaby,andinourownhome.Itfeelstoogoodtobetrueattimes.

“You’regoingtospendtheweekendwithgrandma,aren’tyou?Yes,youtwoaregoingtohaveso

muchfun,butyoubetterbegoodforNana.Nopullingall-nightersagainandrefusingtoeatyour
cereal.”

Shekicksherlegsandstuffsahandinhermouthashechangesher.Ilovewatchingthem,even

whenit’severyday,normalstuff.Heturnsaroundandcatchesmestaring.

“Viola,”hesaysinawarningtone.“Gotakeashower.We’llbefine.”
Iscoffandwrinklemynose.“Fine.I’mgoing.”
OnceI’veshowered,shaved,putonalayerofmakeup,andfindcleanclothestowear,Ihead

downstairs,whereTravishassetoursuitcases.He’sinthelivingroomwithhismother,going
throughthelistofthingswewrotedownforher.Itrusthismother;Ido,butIdon’ttrustanyonealone
withherjustyet.

“Youlookbeautiful,”TravissaysasIsitdownnexttohimandreachforthebaby.Hehandsher

over,andIkissherchubbylittlecheek.

“Ifeellikeachangedwoman,”Isaywithalaugh.“Whoknewashowercouldfeelsogood?”
“Youtwoaregoingtohaveagreattime.Noworrieshere,okay?”Hismothertriestoreassure

me,butIstillfeelthenervesflutteringinmystomach.

“Yousureyou’llbeokayallweekend?”Iaskhismother.
“Ofcourse.Goandenjoyyourselves.Youtwodeserveit.”
“Thankyou,Mom,”Travissaysasheleadsustothefrontdoor.“I’llcallyouassoonaswe

arrive.”HegrabsourluggageasIsqueezethebabyonemoretime.

Reluctantly,Ihandherovertohismother,butIdon’treleasehertinylittlehand.“Don’tforgetshe

needstoberockedbeforebed.Andyou’llneedtoburpherforatleasttenminutesaftersheeats.Oh,
andwhenshetakesabath,sheneedsthesoapforsensitiveskin.”

Hismothernodsandsmiles,knowingthatI’mrepeatingmyselfonceagain.
“Viola,”Traviswarnsinadeepvoice.“They’regoingtobejustfine.”
“Okay,justonemorekiss.”
Ipressmylipstohercheekandthenherforeheadandthenherothercheek.Iinhaleherscent

becauseIjustcan’tgetenough.“Seeyouinacoupleofdays,Ginny.Iloveyou.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE

TRAVIS

“Sowherearewegoing?”Violaasks,fidgetinginherseataswehitthehighway.

“Someplacequiet,withnodistractionsorotherpeoplearound.”
“Where’sthat?”
Ishakemyhead.
“C’mon,”shewhines.“Justalittlehint.”
“Let’sjustsay...weshouldn’thavebotheredpackingclothes,because—”
“BecauseyouplantofuckmesixwaystoSunday?”shefinishesformewithahopefulsmile.
“Iplantohaveyoucountinghigherthansix,princess.”Ismirkoverather,grabbingherhandin

mineandplacingakissoverherknuckles.“Loudly,too.”

“Okay,butIhopeyouplantoletmenapinbetweenthistime,”shequips,referringtothefirst

timewehadsexafterGinnywasborn.She’donlybeentwomonthsoldandwasn’tsleepinglonger
thanthreehoursatatime.We’dtakenadvantageofanearlybedtimeandmadeloveallnightlong.
Beforeweevenrealizedit,Ginnyhadsleptsixhoursstraightthatnight.Violawassotired;shecould
barelykeephereyesopen,muchlesswalk.

“Nopromises.”
“Doyoureallythinkshe’llbeokay?She’sgoingtowonderwhywe’regonesolong.”
“She’sgoingtobejustfine,Viola.”IknowViola’sgoingtobeworriedallweekend,soI’llneed

tokeepdistractingher.“Oh,you’llneverguesswhowalkedintomyofficetodayforaninterview.”
I’dforgottenallaboutituntilnow.

“Who?”Shefurrowsherbrows,andIhopeIdidn’tmakeamistakeonmentioningit.
“AlyssaCrawford.”
“Nofuckingway!”Herjawdrops.
“Yup.Stilettosandall.”
Shelaughs,andthesweetsoundmakesmesmile.“What’dyousaytoher?”
“Iaskedherwhatthehellshewasdoingthere,andonceshesaidshewaslookingforajob,Itold

hertogetthefuckout,thattherewasnowayinhellIwouldeverhireher.Then,ofcourse,she
offeredmesomespecialincentives,andthat’swhenCourtneygladlykickedherassout.”

“Jesus.”Shesighs.“Girlhasnoclass.”
“Shehasnodignity.”
“Maybeshe’sjustoneofthoserichgirlsthat’smisunderstood.Youknow,likeParisHilton.”
“Youcan’tbeseriousrightnow.”Inarrowmyeyesather,wonderingifsleepdeprivationhas

madeherlosehermind.

“I’msureshegrewupinaweirdenvironment,andit’staintedher.Infact,Ifeelsorryforher.”
“Yeah?”Iarchabrow.“AndwhataboutMia?Isshemisunderstoodtoo?”Iaskwithaslygrin.
Shecocksherheadatmeandscowls.“FuckMia.She’sjustapsychothatneedsherteeth

rearranged.”

Ilaugh,anditfeelsgoodtobealonewithheragainafterallthistime.Iloveourlittlefamilyand

Ginnymorethananything,butsometimesIneedViolaandmejusttobeViolaandmeagain.

ThinkingbacktowhenViolawentintolabormakesmesmile.Wehadgoneoverpossiblebaby

girlnamesforweeks,butnothingwassetinstonejustyet.Iknewshewantedsomethingmeaningful
andspecial.Thinkingitover,Iknewthatanynameshepicked,whetheritbefromHarryPotteror
anotheroneofherfavoritebooks,wouldbeperfectforus.Growingup,Violawasgluedtoher
books,andthat’swhatmademefallforherinthefirstplace.Shewasabooknerdandproudofit,and
Ilovedthatabouther.Theymadeherwhosheisandthefactthatshestillquotesiteverychanceshe
getsletsmeknowwemadetherightchoice.

Twohourslater,wefinallypulluptothecabinIrented.It’sacozytwo-bedroomloghousein

LakeTahoewithastonefireplace,smallkitchenette,andcomplimentaryhottubonthebackporch.

“Oh,myGod!It’ssocute!”Violasquealsassoonaswe’reinside.Isetourluggagedownand

grabherhand.

“Let’stakeaquicktour.”Ileadheraround,recognizingmostofitfromthepicturesIsawonline.
“Travis,”shesays,tiltingherheadupatme,“Iloveit.It’sperfect.”
Ismilebackandcupherface.“Itis.Andsoareyou.”Ipressmymouthtohersandpartherlips

withmytongue.Shepressesherbodyintomine,andIknowI’mnotgoingtobeabletostopifwego
anyfurther.

“Areyouhungry?”Iaskagainstherlips,butsheignoresmeandwrapsherarmsaroundmyneck,

pullingmedeeperagainsther.I’lltakethatasanothen.

Sheshufflesherhandsdowntomyshirtandstartsliftingitup.Itakethehintandseparateusjust

enoughtothrowitoff.Shereleasesamoanagainstmylips,drivingmewilderthanever.God,itfeels
likeit’sbeensolongsincewe’vebeenabletobealone.Thepassionhasnevercooleddownbetween
us,nomatterhowmanymilesapartwewere.

“I’vemissedthis,”shewhispers.
“Metoo,princess.Fuck,Iwantyousobad.”Iwrapahandaroundherneck,claimingherbodyas

mine.

Shebringsherhandsdownandliftshershirtupandoverherhead.Sneakingaglanceather,I

smilewhenIseeherbreastsondisplay.Tooimpatienttowaitforhertoremoveherbra,Ipullit
downandcupherlusciousbreasts.Herheadfallsbackonawhimper,andIknowshelovesitasmuch
asIdo.

I’mhardandthrobbingundermyjeans.Idon’tthinkI’llbeabletobegentlewithher,oreventake

mytimelikeIwantedto.Thedesireistoostrongtocontrol.

Icoverhertautnippleswithmymouthandsuckonthemuntilshedigshernailsintomyarm.I

knowshelikesitrough,buteversincethebaby,they’vebeenextrasensitive.

“Ican’twait,princess.Iwanttokissandtouchyoueverywhere,butIdon’tknowthatIcanhold

back.”Iplacekissesalongherneckandinhalehersweetscent.

“Idon’twantyoutoholdback.Ineedit,”shewhispers,almostasifshe’sbeggingmeforit.“I

needyou.”

“Youhaveme,Viola.Always.”
Reachingdown,shetugsatmyzipper.Icanbarelytakeitanymore.AsIundomyjeans,pullthem

downwithmyboxershorts,andfreemycockintoherpalm,shewrapsherhandsaroundherback
andunclaspsherbra.AssoonasI’mstrippeddowntonothing,shebeginsstrokingme,andIsqueeze
herbreastsonceagain.Afterafewtorturousmoments,Ispinheraroundandbendheroverthearm
ofthecouch.

Shesqueals,butquicklyregainsherfooting.Kneelingbehindher,Ipullherjeansandpanties

downuntilshe’sabletokickthemoff.Ispreadherlegsapartandslidemyhandsupherthighs.

Cuppingherass,IbendheroverfurtheruntilIseethoseprettypinklipsofhers.

Whenshearchesherback,whichpushesherassoutfartherforme,Itakethatasaninviteand

slidemytongueupherslit.SheshiversandIdoitoverandoveruntilshebegsformore.

Ilovethetasteofherandcan’tgetenough.Ipushonefingerinsideher,andthenanother.Sucking

onherclit,herhipsstartgoingwildasshesearchesforherrelease.

“It’snotgoingtobethateasy,princess,”Isay,slowingmyrhythm.Ipullhercheeksfurtherapart

anddivebackin,wantingtofeelherreleaseonmytongue.

“Yesyesyes...”shemuttersagainstthecushions.Iknowshe’sabouttolosehermind.Ipushtwo

fingersinsideagainandworkheruntilshe’sreadytocollapse.“Ohmygod...fuck,yes.”

“Iwanttohearyou,Viola.Loud.”
ShegrindshersweetassagainstmyfaceuntilIfeelherbodytense.“One!”
Ismile,knowingit’sthefirstofmanytonight.Shetastessofuckingsweetasshecomesonmy

tongue.Myfingersslowdown,butI’mnotremotelyclosetobeingfinishedwithher.Istandupand
repositionher,sowe’reangledjustright.Grippingherhips,Ipalmmycockandstrokeitafewtimes
beforeslidinginsideher.Atfirst,slowanddeep.Hermoansescalatelouderandlouderwitheach
thrust.ThenIleanoverherbodyandcupherbreastswithbothhandsasIspeedupmypaceandfeel
everyinchpushinsideher—fastanddeep,withnoapologies.She’smine,andI’mclaimingallofher.

Shepantsandmoansandbegs.ThisistheViolaI’vemissed.Ilovewatchingherbeamotherto

ourdaughter,andshe’sbecomeanamazingpartner,butifthere’sonethingthat’sneverfizzled
betweenus,it’sthechemistryweshare.Theall-encompassing,must-have-you-now,love-you-more-
than-ever-beforekindofchemistry.Adecade’sworthofbuilt-uptension,anexplosiveheatthat’s
undeniable.

Iplaceahandonherbackandslideitupherspine.Fistingherhair,Ipulluntilherheadfallsback

andIcanseetheoutlineofherthroat.Shemoanslouder,whichonlyencouragesmydeepthrusts.I
lovethewayherbodylooksrightnow,herskinsoftandwarm,herarmssprawledoutinfrontofher
asshetriestoregulateherbreathing,butit’snouse.Idon’tplantobefinishedwithheranytimesoon.

“Doyourememberourfirsttime?”Igrowl,pullingherbodyback,soshe’sflushagainstmine.I

pressmylipstoherear.“Thatfirsttimenearlybrokeme,princess.Fuck,Ihadwantedyousobadfor
solong.”

“Iremember,”sheresponds,andIthrustharder.“Irememberyougotreallyemotionalandstarted

crying.Thenyouaskedifyoucouldholdmeallnight.”

Thecornerofherlipstiltup,andIknowshe’senjoyingmessingwithme.
“Yourmouthisgoingtogetyouintrouble,”Iwarn.
“Itusuallydoes.”
IcupherassandspreadhercheeksasIthrustdeeperandharderuntilshecontinuescountingonce

again.Sheliesacrossthearmofthecouchagain,butIdon’tletherrest.Notjustyet.

Wrappingmyarmaroundherwaist,myfingersfindherpussyandbeginrubbingherclit.Ilove

howwetshegetsforme.Thesweetsmellofherarousallingers,andIknowshe’sgoingtolose
herselfatanymoment.

Ipullbackandturnheraround,soshe’sagainstmychest.Icupahandaroundherneckandpull

hermouthtomine.MyfingersfindherclitagainasIpartherlipswithmytongue.Itneverfeelslike
enoughwithher;Ialwayscravemoreofher.Shesqueezesherhandsaroundmybicepsasshehangs
onforcontrol.

“Whydoyouenjoytorturingme?”sheasksagainstmylips.Ismile,knowingshe’senjoying

everybitofitjustasIam.

“Whydoyoudefyme,princess?GivemewhatIwant,andwe’llbothbehappy.”Ipressmyfinger

deeperinsideher.

“I’mnotlettingyouwinthateasy,King.”Shetriesclosingherlegs,butIblockherwithmyknee.
“Playbytherules,andwe’llbothwin,”IwarnasIpartherlegsopenagain.
“Idon’ttrustyourrules.”Shesmirks.IfeelherbodytensingthedeeperIpushinsideher,andI

can’twaitanothersecondtobeinsideheragain.

“Good.”Igrin.“Youshouldn’t.”Wrappingmyarmsaroundherbodyandcuppingherasswith

bothhands,Iliftherbodyupuntilbothlegswraparoundmywaist.Shesquealsassheclingstomy
neckandgrindsherpussyagainstmyshaft.

“Putmedown!”
“Notuntilyousaythemagicwords,”ItauntasIcarryherovertothefireplace.
“Fuckoff,Travis?”
Ismackmyhandacrossherasscheek,andshesqueals.“That’swhatyougetforbreakingthe

rules,princess.”

“Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”
Ilowerhertothefloornexttothefireplaceandclimbontopofher.“Thatsmartmouthofyours

isgoingtogetyouintotrouble.Areyoureadytopaytheprice?”

“Givemeyourbest,King.”
“Carpetburndidlookgoodonyou,especiallysinceIwastheonewhoputitthere.”Ilowermy

mouthtoherneckandkissdownthelengthofherjaw.ShearchesherbackasImakemywaydown
herchestandwrapmylipsaroundhernipple.Herhandsfindmyhair,andassheweavesherfingers
through,Iswirlmytonguearoundherothernippleandpullitintomymouth.

“God,yes!”shecriesout,pushingherbreastdeeperintomymouth.
Ilowermyhandandslideafingerinsideheronceagain.Sheclenchesherpussy,andIslide

anotheroneinside.Ilovehearingherbegforit,andIdon’tplantostopuntilshedoes.

“Letmehearyou,Viola,”Igrowl,rubbingthepadofmythumbagainstherclitasIpushdeeper

inside.“Iwanttohearyoubegforit.”

“I’mnotbeggingforit.Moveaside,andI’lldoitmyself.”Sheshakesherhips,tryingtogetout

ofmygrip.

“Defyingmeonlymakesmeharder,princess.”IpressmyhipsagainsthersasIgripmyhand

aroundherwrist,stoppingherfromgoinglower.“Youshouldknowthatbynow.”

“Andyoushouldknowbetterthantodenyme.”Shebitesherlowerlip,andIknowshe’senjoying

teasingthehelloutofme.Shelowersherhandandpalmsmycock,butwhenIarchmyhipsintoher,
shestopsme.

“Goddammit,Viola,”Ihiss,pullingherbottomlipinbetweenmyteeth.“You’regoingtopayfor

thatone.”

Igrabbothofherwristsandpushthemaboveherhead.Ipartherlegswithmyknee,andonceher

legswraparoundmywaist,Islideinsideher.Herheadfallsback,andIthrustdeeper,waitingtohear
thatthroatymoan.Releasingherwrists,Iwrapahandaroundthebackofherneckandpullhermouth
tomine.Shemoansagainstmylipsandmypaceincreases,feelingherclencharoundmycockasthe
intensitybuilds.Thewayherbodyrespondstomine,andthewayIcan’tgetenoughofher,letsme
knowwithoutadoubtthatshewasmadeforme,andIwasmadeforher.Everythingthathappened
betweenushasbuiltuptomomentsjustlikethis.Pureperfection.

Ourbodiesspeaklouderthanourwordsevercould.“Ican’timaginewhatmylifewouldbelike

withoutyouinit.”

“It’dbedark,cold,andpointless,”shesays,thecornerofherlipstiltingup.
“Alwaysasmartass.”
“Always.”

“AndIwouldn’thaveitanyotherway.Iloveyou,ViolaFisher.”Ikissheranddon’tletgountil

herbodygivesinandshereleasesaroundmycock.

“Iloveyoutoo,TravisKing.”Herbodyshakes,andshescreams,clawinghernailsintomyarms

asshecontinuescounting.Andit’sthesweetestfuckingsoundintheentireworld.

Weenduphuddledunderablanket,andwhenIwakeup,Violaissoundasleepatmyside.Idecide

toputacoupleoflogsonthefire,sotheroomheatsupbeforeshewakesup.Idon’tplantoallow
Violatogetdresseduntilwehavetoleave.Thisweekendisallaboutus,andIplanontakingfull
advantage.

Imadesurethefridgeandcupboardswerestockedbeforewearrived.AsI’mdiggingaroundfor

somethingtofeedher,Ifeelherarmswraparoundmywaist.Turningaround,Iseeshe’swrappedup
inablanket,herhairawildmess,andhereyesglassedover.

“Whatareyoudoing?”sheasks,lookingupatme.
Wrappingmyarmsaroundher,Ipullherbodyintomineandkissthetopofhernose.“Looking

forsomethingtomakeforyoutoeat.You’regoingtoneedalltheenergyyoucanget.”

“Mm...soyourmasterplanistofeedandfuckmeallweekend?”
“Yes.”Ismile.“Didn’tyougetthememo?”
Shechucklesandnods.“Betterfeedmegoodthen.”

Thenexttwodaysflyby,andasmuchasImissGinny,Iwishwehadmoretime.Idevouredevery
inchofViolaoneverysurfaceofthecabin:theshower,kitchencounter,diningroomtable,andthe
hottub.

“Well,I’dsaywegotourmoney’sworth,”ViolasaysasIcarrytheluggagetothedoorwhere

she’swaitingforme.

“Consideringwebrokethebedinfourplaces,Iimaginethey’llbesendingabill.”
Shechucklesatthememory,asIwrapmyarmaroundherandkissheroncemorebeforetaking

theluggageouttothecar.Shefollowsmeout,lookingmoreexhaustedthanwhenwearrived,butI
knowitwasexactlywhatwebothneeded.

Oncetheluggageispackedandthecarisloaded,Ileanmybackagainstthecarandsmileasshe

standsbetweenmylegs.ThiswasaweekendI’llneverforget,andIcan’twaittomarryherandmake
hermywife.

“Thiswasaperfectweekend,”shesays,restingherheadagainstmychest.
“Itreallywas,”Iagree.“However,Ithinkwecantopitonthehoneymoon.”
“Yeah?”
Inodincertainty.“Milehighclub.Sexonthebeach.Sexintheocean.Sexinanoldchurch.”
“Achurch?”sheexclaims,narrowinghereyesatmeindisapproval.
“Whynot?It’sourhoneymoon.”Ishrugcasually.“Speakingof...arewegoingtosetadatesoon?

Nowthatthefirmisupandrunning,andGinnyisgettingbigger,Ithinkit’stime.Don’tyou?”

Shelooksupatmeandpullsherlipsintohermouth,andIworryI’vesaidthewrongthing.Istudy

herfaceandseeconcernwrittenallover,andimmediatelythinktheworst.

“Haveyouchangedyourmind?”
“No!Nothinglikethat,”shesays.“Iloveyou,andofcourseIwanttomarryyou.”
“Thenwhatisit?”Ibrushastrandofhairoffherface,andsheshivers.
“Well...”Shetakesadeepbreath.“Howdoyoufeelaboutplanningitninemonthsout?”
“IwouldmarryyoutomorrowifIcould,butIwanttogiveyoutheweddingofyourdreams,so

whetherit’samonthfromnowornine,I’mallin.”

“Good.”Shesmiles.“Becauseinninemonths,we’llhaveourhandsprettyfull.”

EPILOGUE

VIOLA

Oneyearlater...

Onceuponatime,inafarawayland,livedayoungprincesswhoawaitedaprincewhowouldgive

hereverythingsheeverdreamedof...love,passion,loyalty.He’dbethesweetest,kindest,most
heartwarminggentlemanagirlcouldeveraskfor.Andhe’dbeperfect.

...Andheis.TravisKing,myprincecharming.
Icanhardlybelieveit’shere.
Buthereweare,justtwoweeksuntilwesayIdo.
It’sbeenalmosttwoyearssinceTravisproposed,andonlythreemonthssincethearrivalofbaby

James.Yes,wecontinuedwithourtheme,evenifTravisreallypushedforanamefromBridgetJones.
He’sneverwinningthatbattle.

WefinallysetadateforafallweddinginSeptember,andeventhoughI’mmorethanreadyto

becomeMrs.TravisKing,fittingintomyweddingdressafterhavingababyhasstressedmeout.That
ledtostresseating,whichultimatelyledtomorestressaboutnotfittingintotheweddingdress.

Travishasbeenamazingthroughitall,andnomatterhowcrazymyhormoneswere,orhow

stubbornIwasonweddingdetails,he’sstayedbymyside.Ididn’tthinkitwaspossible,butIlovehim
morenowthanIeverhavebefore.He’sanincrediblefather,andwatchinghimwithourkidsisadaily
reminderofhowluckyIam.

AsIlieinbedwithJamesononesideofmeafteranearlymorningfeeding,andGinnyonthe

otherside,squeezedbetweenTravisandme,it’seasytoseehowmuchourliveshavechangedinjust
twoyears.KingMarketingwasnamedasoneofFortune’s100Fastest-GrowingCompaniesofthe
Year,whichwasasurpriseandablessing.Theamountofexposurethecompanyreceivedwasbeyond
anythingweeverimagined.Smallandlargebusinessesfromeverycornerofthemaphavecontracted
ourservices.BeforeJameswasborn,IhelpedoutatthefirmwhenIcould,butsinceGinnyisstill
littletoo,I’vechosentobethemostkickassstay-at-homemomever,andIloveeveryminuteofit.
I’veevenstartedbloggingaboutmommystuffandbooks—twoofmybiggestpassions.

Betweendiaperchangesandconstantlypickinguptoys,Courtney’sdraggedmetowedding

vendorevents,dressfittings,caketastings,andworseofthemall,shoeshopping.Idon’tmean
metaphorically,buthasdraggedmeoutofthehouse,pushedmeintothecar,andheldmyhandaswe
walkedintomylastdressfitting.

“Asmymaidofhonor,Iexpectyoutokeepallcarbsawayfrommeuntilthewedding.Gotit?”I

sayasthebridalstylistlacesmeup.“It’llbeamiracleifmyboobscansqueezeintothis.”

Officiallyunabletobreathe,thestylistgetsmeinmydress.It’snotover-the-topglamlike

Courtneytriedtomakemewear,butsweetandsimple.Astraplesssweetheartneckline,embroidered
bodice,andlaceskirt.IfIevenlookatacheeseburger,Iwillbustoutofthisthing,butthemomentI
triediton,IknewitwasthedressI’dbewearingwhenIstoodinfrontofTravisKingtosay,“Ido.”

“Oh,youlooksobeautiful,”mymothergushes,dabbingatissueunderhereyes.Ginnyissitting

onherlapasJamessleepsinhiscarseatnexttoherfeet.Shelovesbeingagrandma,evenifshe

refusestobecalledone.

“Youthinkso?Itlooksokay?”Iask,chewingonmylowerlip.AllIcanthinkaboutisthestretch

marksonmyboobsandthedarkcirclesundermyeyes.“Ifeellikeawhale,”Ipout.

“Nothingagoodfacialandvaginasteamcan’tfix,”Courtneyassuresme,cheerfully.Myface

turnsredasthestylistlooksaway,pretendingshedoesn’texistrightnow.

“Court!”Iscold,frowning.“Don’tmakemelaugh.I’llpopabutton.”
“Therearenobuttons,”shedeadpans.
Iflashherapointedlook,andshelaughs.
“Doyouwanttotryitonwithyourveil?”thestylistasks,andInodwithaneagersmile.Theveil

ismyfavoriteaccessory—agorgeouslacethatreachesmyanklesbutalsodoublesasaheadband.I
plantotakeitoffafterpicturesandwearonlytheheadbandpieceforthereception.

“Don’tforgettheshoes,”Courtneysaysasshegrabsthemoutofthebox.Myfeetswelledup

duringmylasttrimester,soshoeshoppingwasanightmare.Iendedupfindingapairoflace,peep
toeheels,andbestofall,they’resupercomfortable.However,Ididsizeup,soIbasicallylooklike
BigFoot.

OnceI’mcompletelyputtogetherwithjewelry,shoes,veilandall,Isteponthepedestalandlook

atmyselfinthemirrors.Ihardlyrecognizethewomanwhostaresbackatme.Showered,hair
brushed,andevenalittlemakeupontoday,versusthesporty-spicelookI’vemanagedtonail.

Watchingeveryone’sreactionsinthemirror,IseeCourtneysnappingpicturesofmeandsmiling

asherfingersflyoverthescreen.Exceptshe’snotsmilingaboutme.She’ssmilingaboutsomething
else.

“Whoareyousendingthosepicturesto?”Iask,knowingshe’suptosomething.
“JustDrew.ItoldhimI’dgivehimapreviewofyourdress.”
“He’snotgoingtocarewhatmydresslookslike,Court.”
“Yes,hedoes!Hetoldmeso.”
Rollingmyeyes,Imutter,“Doubtit.”Butshe’stooinvolvedonherphonetonotice.Eversince

sheandDrewbecameroommates,theytextnonstoplikeapairofteenagegirls.Sheswearsupand
downthatthey’reonlyfriends,whichIactuallybelieve,consideringDrewisn’tonetosleeparound,
butCourtneyistheoneI’mmostworriedabout.Hercrushhasonlydeepenedovertheyears,and
Drewhasshownabsolutelyzerointerestinanythingmorethanaplatonicfriendship.Infact,
sometimesIwonderifDrewevenrealizesshehasavagina.Hetreatsherlikeoneoftheguys,or
rather,asanothersister.Sheclaimstobeoverit,butIknowbetter.Iseethewayshelooksathim.Isee
howgiddyshegetswhenherespondstohertextmessages,andIseethehopeinhereyes,thatoneday
he’llstopseeingherashislittlesister ’sbestfriend.

Oncethefittingisover,andI’vemanagedtopeelmyselfoutofmySpanx,wemeetupwithTravis

andDrewforalatelunch.MyparentsareoverthemoonaboutTravisandmefinallygettingmarried,
andtheylovebeinggrandparentsbuthatethatwedidn’tmoveclosertothem.I’mmorethanfinewith
it,consideringmymotherisjustasbadasCourtneyontheweddingplanningdetails.SometimesI
wonderwhoseweddingitactuallyis.

“There’smygorgeousbride-to-be,”Travissayswithabeamingsmile.HeengulfsGinnyandme

inahugandthengrabsJames’carseatfrommyachingarm.“How’deverythinggo?”

Igivehimawide-eyedlookthattellshimeverythingheneedstoknow.
“Thatgood,huh?”Hesmirks.Hetakesmyhandandleadsustothetablehe’ssavedforusall.

OnceGinnyissettledinherhighchair,IunbuckleJamesandswaddlehimtomychest.Myparentsand
Courtneyfindtheirseats,andwhenthewaitresscomestoaskforourdrinkorder,Irealizethere’s
stillanemptychair.

“Hey,where’sDrew?”IaskTravis.Helooksdownathismenu,andIcantellbythewayhislips

twitch,something’sup.

“He’sonhisway.Hehadtodosomethingquick.”
Courtneyleansoverandspeaksinmyearsonooneelsecanhearher.“Bythenoisescoming

fromhislongshowerthismorning,I’dsayhedoesn’tdoanythingquick.”Ishootheradisgusted
lookassheflashesmeasmile.

“Andtheregoesmyappetite.”
Shelaughsandwinksatme.SometimesIwishthey’djustfuckandgetitoverwith.Whatever

gamethey’replayingisgettingalittleoutofhand.

“So,sincecarbsareoutofthequestion,lookslikeIcanhavewaterandlettuce.”
IglanceoveratCourtney,wonderingifsheheardme,andherfaceiswhiteasaghost.
“Holyfuckingshit,”shemutters,lookingbehindme.
“What?”Iturnaroundtowhereshe’sstaring,andgaspwhenIseewhatshe’sfreakingoutabout.

“Whatthehellishedoingherewithher?”Imutter,gettingTravis’attention.

“Who?”heasks,turninghishead.HiseyeswidenasthenextwordscomefromCourtney’smouth.
“MiaFuckingMontgomery.”

COMINGNEXT

ThisconcludesTravis&Viola’sstory,butyou’llgetmoreofthem,

Ginny,&Jamesinbook3,Checkmate:ThisisReckless,afriendsto

loversromancefeaturingDrew&Courtney!

You’recordiallyinvitedtoattendtheKingwedding

February2017

AddittoyourTBR

here

Preorder

here

Checkmate:ThisisReckless

(Afriendstoloversromance)

ACheckmateDuetSeries,book1

DrewFisheristhetypeofguyeverygirlwants.

Noblepoliceofficerbyday,charmingprincebynight.
Hehasnoideatheeffecthehasonwomen,especiallyme—hislittlesister’sbestfriend.
I’mtheblondeSouthernbellewholivesuptothecliché,exceptIhavemyownquirks.I’msmart

asawhip,canchangemyownoil,andreciteThePledgeofAllegiancebackward,buthedoesn’tsee
thatgirl.

It’dbeeasiertoforgethimifhewasn’tmyroommateandifthefirstthingIsawinthemorning

wasn'thisshirtlessbodycoveredintattoos.I’vecrushedonhimsincethedaywemet,buthe’smadeit
perfectlyclearwherewestand.Justfriends.

IknowIneedtomoveonandacceptthathisfeelingswillneverbemutual,buteverydayhe

smilesatme,I’mleftdreamingofwhatif.

Hehasgirlissues,andI’vegotacrushIcan’tdeny.
We’refriends,butIwantmore.
Onedrunkenhookupleavesuswithmuchmorethanaplatonicfriendship.Pretendingitnever

happenedprovestobemoredifficultthananticipated.

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

KennedyFoxisaduoofbestsellingauthors

whosharealoveofYou’veGotMailandTheHoliday.Whentheyaren’t
bondingoverromanticcomedies,theyliketobrainstormnewbookideas.
Oneday,theydecidedtocollaborateunderapseudonymandhavesome
funcreatingnewcharactersthat’llmakeyourladybitstingleandyour
heartmelt.Ifyouenjoyromancestorieswithsexy,tattooedalphamales
andsmart,quirky,independentwomen,thenaKennedyFoxbookisfor
you!They’relookingforwardtobringingyoumanymorestoriestofallin
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Wehavesomanypeopletothankwhohavehelpedusthroughthisamazingjourney.Gratefulbeyond
wordstoeveryonewhohasbeenwithussincethebeginningandcontinuestobe.Wehavemetso
manywonderfulreadersandbloggersandadorethefriendshipswe’vemade.Thankyouforbeingon
#TeamTraviola!

Thankyoutoourreadersforgivingusachanceandpickingupournewrelease!Thankyouto

everyonewhohasleftareview,sentamessage,orleftusacomment.Itmeanstheworldtous!!

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