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Christmas

Wish

Aeryn

Traxx

HRISTMAS

ISH

Tye Boling had everything. He had a great job, a

nice condo and a car. The only thing missing was someone

in his life to share it all with. To keep those kind of

thoughts from ruining his life, he volunteered nearly all his

free time to the Saint Mary's Church soup kitchen on

Eleventh Street downtown. Tye spent each evening, after

working his day job, taking his turn in the prep kitchen

where he chopped vegetables, washed dishes, and took out

the trash. It was a labor of love and Tye took great pride in

what he did to help those in need. Especially at the

holidays, when the number of people needing assistance

rose.

Christmas was just two days away when Tye got

tapped on the shoulder to serve on the food line. He usually

prepared the food rather than serve it but one of the usual

line ladies had gotten ill. Being the team player he was, Tye

had no problem donning a paper apron, gloves, and a hair

net. Waving a spoon in the air he moved into position, the

women laughing at their new recruit.

"Potatoes beware!" Tye said as he pulled the plastic

off the metal container and began ladling portions.

"Honey, they already been mashed, not sure they

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have much to fear from you and your spoon." Rynesha

laughed and spooned gravy on top of the potatoes Tye had

placed on the tray.

"I just wanted them to know who was in charge.

Don't want to be wearing potatoes in my hair when I leave

here tonight." Tye stirred the potatoes in the metal bin.

"Tye baby, you must lead a really wild life if the

possibility of potatoes in your hair is going to get you all

riled up." The shortest lady on the line, Madge, shook her

head and pulled the plastic wrap off the bin in front of her.

"Well, you know us gay boys whoop it up every

night of the week. Wild sex parties and all that."

"Uh huh," Rynesha said. "That why you here in the

soup kitchen five nights a week?"

"Parties don't start 'til after ten," Tye replied as he

felt the heat of a blush on his cheeks.

"Boy, you an awful liar. But God knows we loves

you for coming down and helping. Not many who would."

Madge spooned mixed vegetables on a tray and handed it to

Tye.

The homeless, several prostitutes, and the working

poor stood quietly in line, waiting their turn for a plate of

food while the ladies and one lone gentleman greeted each

and every one with a smile and pleasant word.

Tye felt like he was on top of the world, yet

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overwhelmed by the number of people who came through

the doors. Nameless people. Men, women, and children

who needed his help to make it through to the next meal.

Yes, he took it personally but then again he took everything

personally. Big personality flaw his old love, Austin, would

say.

Austin. Why in Heaven's name would he think of

Austin today? It had been nearly three years and to be

honest, he'd completely given up on ever seeing or hearing

from the only man he had ever loved.

"Thank you," a man mumbled to Madge.

Tye froze. Was his mind playing tricks on him?

Could it be Austin here in the soup kitchen? Tye looked

hard at the man now standing in front of him. A shaggy

beard and scraggly hair for sure but no one else in the

world had those beautiful turquoise eyes.

Rynesha nudged Tye. "You holdin' up the line,

boy."

"S-sorry," Tye mumbled. He spooned potatoes on

the tray and handed it on. The man in front of him seemed

amused by Tye's reaction. Words failed him and it brought

a smile to the man on the opposite side of the food line.

"Thank you," was offered by the disheveled man.

He moved down the line thanking each and every worker

for their time.

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Tye could not believe his ears or his eyes. Could it

really be him?

Rynesha nudged Tye again.

"Honey, you okay? You gone white as a ghost. You

got nothing to worry 'bout these people. They all know how

to behave."

"I'm sorry. I just thought I saw someone I knew."

"Happens a lot, honey. Best thing to do is keep

smiling and serve up the food. They have their pride, you

know."

"Of course," Tye replied absently as he continued to

do his part in the food line. Unfortunately, his mind swirled

with thoughts of the past.

He'd fallen madly in love with Austin Sprouce in

the tenth grade. The versatile boy was on the football team

and the debate team. Austin's family had insisted he play in

every sport. Handsome, buff, and the confidence of a

winner, Tye had lost his heart to the sportsman. At first he'd

been afraid to approach the young man every girl wanted.

There'd been a few awkward tries but cheerleaders had

always managed to get in the way of any real

conversations. Tye had known he was gay from the

moment he'd hit puberty and was relatively certain Austin

was gay too, but the cheerleaders made him second guess

himself.

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He'd all but given up on ever telling Austin how he

felt when fate intervened. One afternoon, after a debate

team meeting, Tye's car wouldn't start. It just so happened

his dad was out of town and his mom knew nothing about

car issues. He sat in the front seat and slammed his hand

hard on the steering wheel.

"That's not going to get it to start," a muffled voice

said. Tye turned his head to see the object of his affection

smiling down at him. He rolled down the window, then

thought better of it and got out of the car.

"Pop the hood," Austin ordered. "I've been trying to

get you alone for a few months now."

"Me?" Tye squeaked out, a lump in his throat.

"Yeah. This was the only way I could see you

without all the girls around."

"Wait. You fucked with my car?"

"Can you think of a better way to get you alone?"

"Uh… no… not really."

"Well. The way you've been looking at me for the

past couple of months, I figured I better do something

drastic or you were going to start drooling all over

yourself."

"Was I that obvious?"

"Only to another gay guy."

"I wasn't too sure. All the cheerleaders." Tye

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Traxx

shrugged.

"That's for the folks. They don't know I'm gay. I

think my dad suspects though. He's always on me to do

sports. I think he believes it will make a man out of me."

"You are a man… well… teenage…"

"I know what you meant. You come out to your

folks yet?"

"Yeah. Last year."

"They take it okay?"

"Yup, mom was down with it. Dad said he already

knew."

"Really?"

"He said he's known for years. Kinda disappointed

he won't be a granddad but with six sisters and three

brothers he said he'll have plenty of nieces and nephews to

deal with."

"You're lucky, man. My dad would kill me if he

found out I'm gay."

A nudge in the ribs brought Tye back to the present.

"Honey, I don't know what's done come over you

but maybe you better take a break. Clear your head."

"Thanks, Rynesha. I just need a few minutes away

from all this food."

"Take all the time you need, Tye. We done slowed

down to a trickle. Be a few minutes before the next wave

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comes in."

"I'll be right back," he said. Tye ripped the apron

and gloves off and ran out of the kitchen in search of

Austin. He thought he'd seen him take a seat on the third

table from the front of the stage but now he wasn't so sure.

He moved from one table to the next until finally he found

who he was looking for.

"Austin?" Tye said as he touched the man on the

shoulder.

"Tye," was all Austin said, taking a bite from a roll.

"It is you." Tye's thoughts whirled as to how his

former love could be here.

"Yes."

"Man, I really would like to talk to you. I have

another hour to go on my shift. Can you wait for me?"

"Nice hat. Have places to go, Tye. People to see."

Tye felt his hair and realized in his hurry to see

Austin he hadn't taken the hair net off. He swiped it away

and tucked it into his pocket. "Okay. Well. If you can find

the time I'll be off in an hour."

"Later, Tye."

Tye scanned the room and saw plenty of people

looking from Austin to Tye and back again. It was very

uncomfortable. He suddenly realized he'd made a mistake

coming out into the crowd to approach Austin. He left the

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area and went back to the kitchen, donning apron and

gloves once more to spoon out potatoes.

The dishes done and utensils stored, Tye hurried

from the kitchen to find only the empty trash cans lined up

by the door. No sign of Austin.

Had it all been a dream? No. No dream. He had

heard Austin speak his name. By hook or by crook he

would find a way to meet his lost love.

* * * *

The day had flown by in a flurry of activity. The

office was closed and Tye had spent the day buying

Christmas presents, wrapping them and setting them under

the magnificent Christmas tree in his living room. He

strung a few extra lights around the condo and even had

time to make Christmas shortbread cookies, something he

hadn't done since the year Austin had walked out of his life.

It was a holiday ritual he'd missed and found himself

smiling through the entire afternoon as he baked.

Tye took great pains to make sure the apartment

was perfect. He had plans for the evening and with any

luck, they would include Austin.

Closing the door to his condo with a smile, he

hurried to the soup kitchen. There was no guarantee Austin

Christmas

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would show up again this evening, but there was always a

chance. The sooner he got to the church, the better.

Donning the paper apron, gloves, and hairnet once

more, Tye took his place on the food line. This time he

would be prepared when Austin came by. Austin would be

here tonight, he was sure of it. Christmas Eve, where else

would he go?

"You in a awful state, Tye. What's got into you?"

asked Rynesha.

"Old friend coming to dinner."

"Then what you doing here, boy? You allowed to

have a private life. You not tied to this here soup kitchen,"

Madge said as she dropped the bin of corn into the warmer

and pulled the plastic off it.

"Madge, my dinner partner will be dining at this

very soup kitchen and I can't wait for him to get here."

"Lordy. This ought to be good."

"I'm hoping it will be, Rynesha."

Everyone on the line fell into step, trays moving

effortlessly from one to the next. Food was piled on until

the trays were overflowing with food.

Tye had been watching the door for nearly an hour

when Austin finally showed up. Now that he knew what to

look for, Tye could take a good look at Austin. As he made

polite conversation with the people coming through the

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line, he waited, watching for Austin to get closer. Finally,

they stood eye to eye once again.

"Good evening, Austin."

"Tye." Austin flashed a smile.

"Seven o'clock. Wait for me, please?" Tye said as

he handed a tray to Rynesha.

"Seven o'clock," Austin repeated then moved down

the line.

"That your dinner guest, Tye?"

"Yep. Been waiting for three years."

"Damn, honey. Long time to wait for one man."

"Not when it's the right man."

"Well, Merry Christmas to you then."

Tye laughed and continued to pile potatoes on trays

and handed them to Rynesha. He couldn't help but grin

from ear to ear and it seemed to rub off on everyone on

both sides of the food line.

Tye hurried from the kitchen after clean up and this

time he found Austin waiting by the double doors, a

backpack over his right shoulder.

"You waited."

"Figured you wouldn't give up 'til I did," Austin

replied.

"Will you come home with me or should we just go

somewhere?"

Christmas

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Traxx

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Austin asked

with a smile.

"Just a friend asking a friend over for a visit," Tye

answered.

"You sure you want someone like me in your car?"

"My friends are always welcome in my car—and

my home."

"Let's get the hell out of here. Not exactly my

favorite place to be."

"Fine. My car's around back."

"After you then."

Tye led Austin to his car behind the church and let

him in. They drove in silence for nearly twenty minutes

until they pulled up in front of a four story condo complex.

They both got out and Austin followed Tye up the stairs to

his condo on the second floor.

"Nice place, Tye."

"Bought it two years ago when I got the job at

Taylor and Taylor."

"The attorneys?"

"Yep. Paralegal work is very lucrative." Tye

nodded.

"You went to college for business."

"Gotta change your master plan sometimes, Austin.

Everybody and their brother has a business degree. Hell,

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Traxx

even the minimum wagers at McDonald's have business

degrees."

"Hey, I resemble that statement. I worked there for

a few weeks."

"Really?"

"Yeah 'til they found out I was homeless then they

cut me loose," Austin confessed.

"You've been through a lot in the past few years, I

suppose."

"I have. I'll explain once we get inside. I don't want

your neighbors to see you taking a homeless guy home.

Might ruin your reputation," Austin said as he looked

around at the security cameras in the hallway.

Tye laughed. "My neighbors think I'm some man's

toy with the hours I keep. Mrs Roth down the hall is

forever telling me I should settle down with a nice man."

"Everyone here know you're gay?"

"Yes. You have nothing to worry about here," Tye

said as he opened the door to his condo. "Please come in."

"You sure about this, Tye? This is a really nice

place and I'm…"

"My friend. Please come into my home, you're most

welcome here."

"If you insist, man."

"Actually, I do."

Christmas

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"You've done really well for yourself, Tye."

"Not that great. It's what we talked about all those

years ago in high school. A comfortable job, a nice car, and

a place to call home."

"Funny how things worked out, huh?"

"I wouldn't use the word funny, Austin. Meeting

you at a homeless shelter was quite a surprise."

"Just as much a surprise for me."

"Well before we get started, is there anything I can

get you? Something to eat, something to drink?"

"Honestly, I would love to take a shower. I haven't

had one in a while."

"Then please be my guest. You can use the master

bath. Feel free to use anything in there you need," Tye said.

He led him down the hallway to the master bedroom.

"Wow. Three bedrooms. Damn, Tye, I didn't think.

You have roommates that might take offense to me being

here?"

"No roommates, no worries."

"If you say so."

"Here we are. If you'll give me your clothes I can

throw them in the wash." Tye stood outside the bathroom.

"Could you wash my spare set too? It's been a while

since I had time for the Laundromat."

"Sure."

Christmas

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Austin dug in the backpack and pulled out a ragged

pair of jeans, a shirt full of holes and a pair of socks that

were so holey they were close to useless. He undressed

quickly, handing Tye his clothing.

"Jump in, man. I'll work on these for you."

"Thanks for this, Tye. You have no idea how good

it is to have a shower after so long," Austin said as he

turned on the water.

Tye backed out of the room, a lump in his throat

and went to the washer and dryer in the hallway. He

dumped all the clothes into the washer and was nearly

undone by the smell. Austin had obviously been wearing

them for some time. He dropped in laundry detergent,

started the machine and then went into his bedroom to pull

out a fresh set of clothes. His quick glimpse of Austin nude

showed that they still wore the same size clothing.

He wanted to cry but now was not the time for tears.

Austin was a proud man and as Rynesha had said, even the

homeless have their pride. No, he couldn't cry. Perhaps

later, behind the closed door of his bedroom, but not now

when it would only upset Austin.

Setting the clothes on the chair outside the master

bath Tye pulled it over, blocking the entrance. No way

could Austin misinterpret the fact that he was setting out

clothes for him to wear.

Christmas

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It was nearly an hour before Tye saw Austin step

out of the shower. Instead of the scraggly homeless person

who went in, a handsome devil of a man came out. He'd

shaved off the beard and mustache, trimmed the hair away

from his face. And he now wore the new clothes Tye had

set out for him.

"Now there's the handsome man I remember."

"Looks can be deceiving, Tye."

"Everyone changes."

"Yeah, but not everyone has been through the hell

I've been through."

"How about we take a seat and have a chat?" Tye

asked and walked over to the sofa where he had set out

treats and two cups.

"Earl Grey and shortbread cookies?"

"Your favorite."

"God, it's been a long time," Austin said as he sat

down and picked up the coffee cup, smelling the aroma of

the hot tea.

"So what happened, Austin? One day we were

happy as could be, the next day you were gone."

"Remember what I told you the day I screwed with

your car so we could meet? About my dad?"

"Yeah. He would go a little nuts."

"Well, your little speech that night in 2007 about

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being honest with each other really hit home. I decided if

the man was going to continue to pay my bills for school I

had to be honest with him about who I was and what the

future held. I mean we only had one year left in college, so

what could he do?"

"Oh my God. I don't want to hear this, do I?"

"You asked."

"Yes I did and I'm prepared to hear it all," Tye said.

He grasped Austin's free hand in his own.

"He called me a soulless bastard, not fit to carry the

name of Sprouce. That as of that moment I was dead to

him. I was never to tell anyone we were related and never

to show my face in his home again."

"No," Tye said in a hushed voice. "Why didn't you

tell me?"

"That as of that moment I was a penniless orphan?

That all our grand plans were shot because I would never

be able to find enough money to finish college? I couldn't

face you, Tye. I couldn't watch the one man I ever cared for

look at me with rejection in his eyes."

"Rejection? Austin, what the hell are you talking

about?" Tye shook the hand so firmly held in his own. "I

loved you. I would have found a way for the both of us to

get through school. You idiot. I can't believe you thought

so little of me, that I would send you away because your

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father was an asshole."

"Tye…"

"It's my fault you felt you had to tell him in the first

place. The whole thing was my fault. How could I reject

you for taking actions I made you take?"

"Tye, stop."

"I made you come out of the closet even though you

told me it was best you didn't tell anyone."

"That's enough," Austin said as he squeezed Tye's

hand. He set the tea on the coffee table and turned to Tye.

Austin reached for a tissue from the table and pressed it

into Tye's free hand, tears sliding down his friend's face.

"I… I…" Tye tried to talk but the lump in his throat

made it nearly impossible.

"Before you go off, I have something to tell you."

"What?" Tye said between sniffs.

"I've known for a long time you worked at the

shelter. You were parked in a handicapped space one

evening dropping off some stuff and I saw you rush in. You

were waving to a bunch of people when you came out.

After that night I started watching for you and found out

you worked in the back so there was no way we would ever

meet."

"Austin, I don't understand. Did you not want to

meet me?"

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"Are you kidding? From the minute I knew it was

you I've been tortured with how best to present myself."

Austin leaned back hard against the sofa, unable to look his

friend in the eye. "Being homeless changes the way you

think."

"I can only imagine, Austin. You had to know I

would welcome you back with open arms."

"I don't want pity, I just want to be seen as a human

being." Austin looked down at their hands woven together.

"Pity? Never. Respect? Always."

"When you hear what I had to do to survive you

won't think that way," Austin began. "After I left you I tried

to get work to support myself but no one would hire me. I

didn't have a degree."

"You don't have to tell me." Tye lifted their clasped

hands to his lips and kissed the back of Austin's hand.

"You deserve the truth."

"Not if it's going to upset you."

"Tye, I was a prostitute for just over a year and a

half. I was well paid and managed to stay afloat with my

earnings. Then one day I was beat up by a john. Spent a

week in the hospital. It took me nearly three weeks to

recover. Things just weren't the same when I went back to

work. I found I was so scared of every man who paid for

my services that I was a nervous wreck at the end of each

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shift. A month later, I quit the business. I've been homeless

for over a year now." Austin looked down at their clasped

hands then up into Tye's face.

"That's it?" Tye asked.

"Isn't that enough?"

"I thought you were going to tell me you robbed

little old ladies or something. Being a prostitute was a way

to stay alive, nothing more."

"Yeah but I could have contracted HIV."

"Did you use protection?"

"Of course."

"And when was the last time you were tested?"

"Two years ago."

"Then we'll get you tested."

"Tye, it's not that easy. I'm damaged goods. I've

tried for weeks now to figure out how to tell you."

"Austin, we're all damaged goods. Some have small

dings and others are broken in two. You're somewhere in

between."

"This is really difficult."

"Why?"

"Because I still love you, Tye. Always have."

"Well that's good because I never stopped loving

you. For the first year after you left, I prayed every night

that I would hear from you. Your parents wouldn't take my

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calls so I gave up and figured you had been sent to another

school. That maybe I had done something wrong and that's

why you just up and left." Tye wiped at his eyes with the

balled up Kleenex.

"I was too embarrassed to come back to you."

"And now you've worked up the courage?" Tye

questioned, his expression sympathetic.

"When I go back on the street my heart will be light

because I was able to tell you the truth. Being homeless

won't hurt so much knowing you heard the truth from me."

"What? Back on the street?"

"It was kind of you to give me a few hours of peace

but I have to go back to where I belong."

"Bull shit. Now hear this, Austin Sprouce. I have no

intention of letting you walk out that door to live on the

streets of DC. You belong with people who love you. And I

do love you. Those aren't just words. I live alone because

no man ever measured up to you. I prayed and prayed you

would come back and here you are."

"We can't just pick up where we left off, Tye. A lot

has happened since then."

"I didn't bring you home with me to throw you in

bed. I brought you home because I thought I could help

you, if you will accept my help. I still love you, Austin.

That's not going to change, but I won't take advantage of

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you."

"And I won't take advantage of your kindness."

Austin shook his head and patted their clasped hands.

"It's settled then, no more talking about going back

on the street. I have plenty of room, you can stay here.

We'll get you back on your feet. For now why don't you

finish your tea and I'll show you your room. Tomorrow we

can celebrate Christmas, open presents and talk about your

future." Tye smiled brightly at his companion.

"You sure about this?" Austin asked after drinking

the last of his tea.

"Never been surer of anything in my life. Come

with me, I'll show you to your room." Tye bounced off the

couch, pulling Austin along behind him and down the hall.

He opened the door to a room designed in shades of

burgundy and gold. "I call this my Tiffany room." He

pulled Austin inside.

"Your mother would have a fit if she saw this."

"Actually, she didn't. I showed my dad first and he

fell in love with it. Begged my mom to abandon her white

walls mantra and redo their bedroom to look like it."

"You're kidding. Your mother has been

whitewashing walls since you were a kid."

"I know. But Dad put on the charm and gave her the

credit card so she relented."

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"They still live in the same house on Rampart

Street?" Austin asked as he looked around the room.

"Yeah, but it's been completely remodeled. They

knocked out a few walls, put in a sun room. Dad built Mom

a gazebo."

"Empty nest syndrome?"

"Definitely. Mom's waiting for grandbabies now.

My sister Sheila is due any day."

"Wow. I have a lot of catching up to do." Austin

shook his head.

"Well, this is your room from now on. You always

liked the bolder colors. To be honest, I thought of you the

whole time I was putting it together," Tye said, his hands in

his pockets.

"Tye, I don't know what to say."

"Don't have to say anything. I'll put your clothes in

the dryer so they will be ready in the morning. Do you want

some PJs or do you still like to sleep in the nude?"

"No PJs."

"Okay. There's a nightlight in the kitchen so if you

need anything in the middle of the night you can find your

way around. You know where I'll be if you need me." Tye

waved at the bed then made for the door.

"Tye."

"Yes, Austin?"

Christmas

Wish

Aeryn

Traxx

"Thank you. And not just for a place to sleep but for

believing in me."

* * * *

"Always have, Austin, always will." Tye left the

room, closing the door behind him, and leaving Austin to

contemplate the day's events in peace.

A lot had happened in the past forty-eight hours,

Austin thought as he sat on the side of the bed and looked

around. He'd spent weeks fretting about how he was going

to approach Tye, how he was going to react. He never

expected to be welcomed with open arms. Everyone else

had turned their backs on him. It seemed only natural that

Tye would too. Then again, Tye was never like everyone

else. It was what had drawn him to the nerdy guy back in

high school. He knew who he was and what he was going

to do when everyone else was still figuring out if they were

gay, bi, or straight. Tye, the doe eyed cutie who made his

insides do flip flops way back then… and now.

Austin undressed, climbed into bed and then turned

off the light on the night table. What an incredible

Christmas Eve spent with the love of his life. After three

years of living with no purpose or direction, he'd found Tye

once again. The one person who made life worth living.

The one so filled with life and love. The one who filled him

with hope. There had been so many nights on the street that

Christmas

Wish

Aeryn

Traxx

he'd wanted to just give up but somehow memories of Tye

and their life together had kept him going. Now, here he

was just a few feet away from the one man who could make

him whole. For weeks now he had worried how their

meeting would go and here he had worried for nothing. Tye

was Tye, his heart on his sleeve. You'd think they had only

been separated for a few days not a few years.

Hours ticked by and still Austin couldn't sleep. Too

much too fast. His mind raced with things he wanted to say

to Tye. It simply was not going to wait until morning.

Austin threw off the covers and jumped out of bed. He

made his way from his room to Tye's and opened the door

slowly. There was just enough light coming in from the

curtains for Austin to see Tye was awake and looking up at

him from the bed. Without a word Tye pulled back the

covers, a silent invitation that Austin did not hesitate to

accept.

"Tye…" Austin said as he slid into bed beneath the

sheets.

"Shh." Tye folded the covers back over them both.

"But…"

"I know, Austin." Tye pulled Austin close.

"I stopped believing in Santa when I was ten years

old but this makes me believe he still exists. I made a wish

and here you are," Austin said as he snuggled into Tye's

BOUT THE

UTHOR

Aeryn Traxx has been writing since the age of twelve, has

plans to retire to the Outer Banks of North Carolina one

day, and is the proud parent of a teenage daughter. Aeryn

currently lives in North Dakota with two dogs, a cat and a

significant other.

Website:

http://www.aeryntraxx.webs.com

LSO BY

ERYN

RAXX

Available at Silver Publishing:

The Ghost Story

Unconventional Love

All I Want for Christmas…

My Christmas Wish

THE WERE CHRONICLES

Were Lost