Jackee C For the Love of Jason (pdf)

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

This story is a work of fiction. An resemblance to characters real or
imagined is purely coincidence.

Author's Note: I began writing this story in and around the year 1992.
As with many stories, the idea stuck in my head until I finally finished it
in 1999. Somewhere between those years, I discovered the Internet and
a medium for sharing stories that previously no one outside of myself
had seen. I hope that you, reader, will enjoy this story nearly as much as
I have enjoyed writing it.

I share my writing freely because it brings me joy to write. Please feel
free to share a copy of this story with your friends. However, please keep
the entire story intact along with my name and copyright information. I
happily accept comments at: jackeec@earthling.net

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

CHAPTER ONE

"What are you going to do now, child?"

Christina Belcuri's tear-filled eyes went wide at Mabel's question.

Mabel Jenkins was the matronly postmaster for the small town of
McAllister, and as usual, she had known precisely what to do to bring
Christina back to her senses. On this day, when Christina thought that
she might drown in her own grief and helplessness, Mabel's abrupt
words were just what she needed.

Pulling herself together, she glanced down at the small bundle that

slept in her arms, oblivious to all but a pair of loving arms, a dry diaper
and a bottle of milk when the time was right. Three-month-old Jason
Raven, it seemed, was to be her responsibility now. Never mind that
somewhere out there he had a father and grandmother -- neither of
whom seemed overly concerned with the matter. Despite the fact that
Christina had sent a certified letter to the address that Jeannie Raven's
address book had listed as her mother's, neither Georgiana Stanton, nor
the mysterious Mr. Raven who had 18 months previous claimed Jeannie
as his bride had put in an appearance at Jeannie's funeral.

"I sup-suppose," Christina said tentatively, "that I'll be caring for

Jason now."

"Supposing isn't good enough, girl. A child needs more sincerity

than supposing." Mabel's tone threatened to bring fresh tears to
Christina's eyes, but she straightened her shoulders and spoke more
firmly.

" But I am sincere, Mabel. I'll take care of Jason just like he was

my own. I'll love him just like Aunt Elise loved me, and like Jeannie's
aunt Cara loved her."

"I know you will," Mabel's voice softened as she placed a plump

hand on Christina's shoulder. "I know. " Then turning her gaze to the
pink casket that had been partially lowered into the ground, she went
on, shaking her head, "Such a shame. That one was too young and too

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

beautiful die. And she had so much to live for." At that Mabel's eyes
rested on Jason.

Then turning again toward Christina, a frown crossed the woman's

stern features. "I'm not surprised at the mother. But still no word on the
father?" Her tone of voice suggested that there was more behind the
questions. But Christina was too exhausted to do more than to answer it
at face value.

Christina sighed. "No. When Jeannie showed up on my doorstep a

year ago, she was a mess. You know that Mabel. She didn't want to talk
about her husband. I didn't even find out that they'd only been married
for seven months until she found out she was pregnant. Even then she
wouldn't tell me his name. All she would say was that Georgiana was
evil, and that he wasn't to blame. And that she wouldn't let him suffer

for what she had done."

Mabel sighed along with her. "A body can understand why Cara

told the child that her mother was dead. Shame that she had to find out
different after Cara passed."

"Yeah, she said that, too," Christina confided. Privately however,

she couldn't understand why Cara Meridon, the woman who had raised
Jeannie would lie to her niece, telling her that her mother was dead. Or
why a mother would go along with the game, never visiting or even
writing her child.

"She probably found out the truth after that woman got her hands

on the money Cara left the girl."

Christina looked up in surprise. Jeannie hadn't told her much

about what had happened during the six years she had been away from
McAllister. All that Christina knew was that the only person she'd
called best friend and 'sister' had changed dramatically in that time.

Having both grown up in a small town environment under the care

of Aunts, they'd become fast friends, even to the point of declaring one
another family. A year after graduating high school, Jeannie's aunt Cara
died suddenly. Those had been difficult days for the both of them, then
news had come that Jeannie's mother, Georgiana Stanton was alive and
well and living on the West Coast. Jeannie had been ecstatic to learn

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

that she might have a 'real' family. Shortly after, she decided to finish
college on the West Coast nearer her newfound family.

During the initial months of their separation, Jeannie had written

quite often. Greenich was a big city in comparison to McAllister, and
she'd had a lot that she wanted to share. But eventually Jeannie's
letters became shorter and further apart. Within a year they had
stopped writing altogether. When Christina's Aunt Elise died, the letter
Christina sent to Jeannie was returned unopened. No such person as
Jeannie Meridon resided at that address.

And then, after more than three years of silence, Jeannie showed

up on Christina's doorstep. The once happy-go-lucky young woman had
been come a nervous, tearful and sometimes hysterical woman perhaps
near the brink of a total breakdown. Christina hadn't known what to do
for her. But she could not, under any circumstances, turn away her
friend. Once again, they were their only family. A week after her arrival,
Jeannie discovered that she was pregnant.

Halfway through her pregnancy, Jeannie seemed to calm down and

settle into a routine. And then after Jason was born, it was as if the old
Jeannie was back. She was happy again, and had a purpose for going on.
Christina had thought that it was only a matter of time before she
opened up and confided all that had taken place after she'd moved to
Greenich.

But then, suddenly, there was no more time. Jeannie Raven, once

vibrant, witty and beautiful, was no more. Just before her twenty-fifth
birthday, Jeannie was killed by a hit and run driver while returning
home from a shopping trip in a neighboring town. In one careless act, an
as-yet-unknown, driver had taken one life, and changed another forever.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?"

Christina was pulled from her thoughts by Mabel's words.

Following the woman's gaze passed the thinning crowd of mourners, she
caught sight of something sleek and black pulling to a stop along the dirt
road that led to this part of the cemetery.

All eyes remained glued on the vehicle as a man dressed in a dark

suit got out of the driver's side and then moved to open the passenger

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

door. Christina was sure that even the birds ceased to make a sound as
the form of a tall man dressed completely in black, down to the black
glasses that obscured most of his features was assisted from the vehicle.
She wondered for a moment if he were hurt, because even after he was
out of the car, the driver continued to offer his arm. It wasn't until he
rounded the front of the vehicle that she noticed that cane clasped in his
right dancing above the surface of the ground. This man was blind. And
he wasn't from around those parts.

The two men stopped near Jetty Burke and asked him a question.

Christina noticed that while the driver had talked to Jetty, the blind
man had gazed absently skyward. But when Jetty had begun speaking,
he had turned intently in the direction of the Jetty's voice.

Christina felt pretty sure that the conversation was either about

herself or Mabel, because Jetty pointed a crooked finger in their
direction before getting another eyeful of the sleek black sedan that the
two men had driven up in. Cars were Jetty's fascination, and this was
probably the type that he had only seen in magazines.

There was no more time to ponder the men's purpose in coming

because they were already near enough for Christina see that the driver
was of medium height and build, while his charge was tall, slim and
dark. Dark was the description that suited him best; dark hair, dark
coloring, dark clothing, and a mouth set in a thin brooding line.

"I am Oscar Desmond," the driver introduced himself. "And we are

seeking someone by the name of C. Belcuri." His gray eyes wore an
expression of sympathy, but also something else. Something that
bothered Christina deeply.

She blinked, attempting to hold the feeling of trepidation at bay.

But the small gesture of drawing Jason a little tighter against her
shoulder, almost in protection, was unconscious. "I'm Christina Belcuri,"
she said. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

The driver made a gesture against the blind man's arm, who then

turned his attention toward her with an intensity that caused Christina
to question his blindness. "I am Michael Raven," the blind man spoke,

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

extending his hand toward her. "You sent a telegram concerning my
wife, concerning Jeannie?"

Christina gaped. It wasn't until Mabel nudged her that she glanced

down and saw that Michael Raven had extended his hand toward her. It
was slightly off, but Desmond gestured that she should take it, anyway.

Moving quickly, too late to conceal her shock, Christina reached for

the man's hand and briefly clasped it in greeting. "I'm sorry, Jeannie
was a good friend," she managed, having no idea what else to say to the
man who had been Jeannie's husband, to Jason's father. Jason's father!

The thought struck fear into her heart. It wasn't until that moment that
she began to realize how much she didn't want to lose the little guy. The
child was as much a part of her as he was of Jeannie. And of, she
admitted reluctantly to herself, Michael Raven.

As if beginning to sense some of the turmoil around him, Jason

began to whine and fret. Tiny hands clinched as his body wriggled
fussily against Christina's shoulder. Immediately, Christina began to
make comforting noises. Locating the pacifier that had been tied to his
shirt front, she placed it into his mouth. The child took it, but continued
to make unhappy whining noises.

"I'm sorry," Raven apologized. "I didn't realize... Perhaps we can

set up an appointment. I'm going to be at the..." His voice trailed off as
he turned slightly toward Desmond.

"The Howard Johnson, Sir," Desmond informed him.

"The Howard Johnson. If I may contact you, there are a number of

things I would like to discuss."

"There will be a gathering tonight...for Jeannie," Christina found

herself saying. "It will be above Elise's Olde Time gift shop, on Main
Street. Everyone knows where it is. The entrance is in back. Everyone
will probably be arriving around six."

Raven seemed to consider this for a moment. "Thank you," he said,

finally. "I will look forward to talking to you later."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

After mutual good-bye's, Christina watched the two men head

slowly back toward their car. Mr. Michael Raven was not at all what she
had expected. Handsome, yes; well spoken, perhaps; blind, definitely not.

----------

Jason was sleeping soundly at six o'clock when the guests began to

arrive. Angela Kater was first. She was a plump middle aged woman
with a cherubic face and an incurable knack for gossip. "Am I first?"
she'd asked as soon as she crossed the threshold.

"Um hum," Christina nodded taking her jacket. "Thank you for

coming Angie, I know you and Jeannie didn't get on so well." Christina
spoke honestly, leading Angie into the living room with a light touch on
her back.

"Yeah well, that's no secret," Angie responded good-naturedly.

"She always said I was too nosey and she was probably right, but she
came back here so mysterious and all." Angie took a seat on the long sofa
and picked up one of the little cakes some of the neighbors had made.
Taking a bite of the cake Angie changed the subject to the one Christina
was sure had been on her mind all along. "Who was that man who
arrived late? I saw you talking to him when we left."

"That was Michael Raven." Christina answered reluctantly. There

was no sense in hiding it, especially since she'd invited him to the
gathering as well. In hindsight, however, she wondered at the wisdom of
such a thing. More than likely Michael Raven and Oscar Desmond would
be the only men present.

"Raven? As in Jeannie Raven and Jason Raven? Husband of and

father to?" Angie's eyes had grown wide. As far as gossip went, this was
probably the mother lode. "Did you know all along that Jeannie's
husband was blind?!" Without waiting for a reply, Angie went on,

practically bouncing on the sofa.

"Oh my goodness, it's no wonder she was so secretive. Do you think

she was ashamed for some reason? Maybe he wasn't born that way and
it happened later and she couldn't handle it. Oh my goodness! Chrissy!
Maybe it was her fault that he's blind!"

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Christina had had enough. "Angie, stop it," she told her friend,

forcing her own voice to be calm. "You're getting carried away with
yourself and I won't have you spreading these ideas. Besides, Mr. Raven
and I will be talking soon enough so I suppose we will find out some of
the true answers that we've all been craving."

Angie, used to people trying to calm her imaginative, gossipy mind,

simply continued on, ready with the next questions as soon as Christina
finished speaking. Christina sighed in relief when the doorbell rang.

It was Mrs. Janis Belevedere, a woman who had been an old and

dear friend of Christina's Aunt Elise before she had died nearly two
years earlier.

"Hello, Mrs. Belevedere," Christina welcomed her with a hug

before helping her down the hall to the living room. The arthritis in her
legs was obviously bothering her. "I'm so glad you could come tonight."

"Hello, dear," Mrs. Belevedere returned the greeting. "You are

such a sweet child to take care of that baby and helping Elise like you
did."

Christina smiled and thanked her, and helped her to settle on the

sofa. Before Mrs. Belevedere had gotten comfortable, Angie had chimed
in with her latest supposition concerning Michael Raven.

"I never said that!" Christina objected.

"Well, are you going to give him the baby or not, then?" Angie

asked, pressing the issue. It was then that Christina realized what she
had done. And it was too late to turn back because Angie's words had
gotten Mrs. Belvedere started.

"Surely you're not going to just turn the baby over to a strange

man you know nothing about and blind to boot. He can't take care of a
baby. Why the baby doesn't even know him!" The older woman was
outraged.

"I may not have a choice," Christina tried to defend herself. "He is

the child's father, after all."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Listen, honey. You just keep real quiet about whose baby that is.

We'll never tell!" That from Angie. Christina doubted Angie could keep
anything quiet. But Janis Belvedere backed her up, even stomped her
foot on the floor.

Sighing, Christina pointed in the direction of the doorbell. Soon the

entire group was there save for Michael Raven. Christina was relieved
that he hadn't because she fully suspected that along with planning the
conspiracy to prevent Michael Raven from learning about his child, the
townswomen of McAllister were quite capable of running the poor man
out of town that very night.

CHAPTER TWO

Michael Raven rolled over and came groggily awake. Opening his

eyes, he suffered mild panic when the darkness did not abate. He hadn't
yet adjusted to the fact that darkness was his domain. He wasn't sure
that he ever would.

Feeling for the edge of the bed, he pushed himself carefully to a

sitting position. Resting his elbows on his knees, he ran a hand along the
back of his aching head; exhaustion clung to him like a second skin. For
once, he thought, the doctors may have been correct. This trip had been

too soon. But nothing could have kept him away after he'd received the
message about Jeannie's death.

"Desmond?" he croaked, calling to his assistant. Oscar Desmond

had been with the Raven family for nearly thirty years, since Michael's
own father was a young man. Desmond seemed to have developed a
sixth sense of when Michael needed him. Most of the time. This time,
however, no approaching footsteps responded to his plea.

"Desmond?" he called again, louder this time. No response. The

ensuing silence was heavy, alerting him to just how still the room was,
how lonely. He was alone - in a strange place. Mild panic washed over

him. He pushed the unwelcome sensation forcefully away. This was

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

ridiculous! He was reasonably intelligent. How difficult could it be to
find the bathroom in a Howard Johnson Motel?

Moving slowly, carefully, he rose to his feet. Arms spread, he took

several cautious steps away from the bed. The plan was to find a wall,
from which, theoretically, he could find anything. He found the dresser,
or rather his toe did. It was painful, but it was also progress. Sliding
along the dresser, he found the wall.

Moving more confidently, he felt along the wall in what he hoped

was the proper direction. The cool, slightly embossed surface of
wallpaper slid beneath his seeking palms. A light switch. He had no idea
whether the lights were on or off, not that it mattered. He continued
along the wall, feeling the coolness of a tile floor beneath his stocking
feet. Suddenly, his foot hit something round, hard and plastic. He
became entangled, and once he began to lose his balance, it was over. He
felt that plastic warp, then pop beneath him as he went down.

The sounds of his own swearing and assorted falling items were

dying down when he heard the room door slam open. "Mr. Raven!,"
Desmond's worried exclamation only added to his irritation.

"Are you injured?" Desmond's hands went beneath his arms to

steady him as he assisted him to his feet.

"I'm fine!" Michael snapped defensively, shaking his arm from

Desmond's grasp. He hated being helpless. "If I'm to be stuck this way, I
may as well start getting used to it. I can't just depend on you for the
rest of my life."

"You're going to have to depend on me, or someone, for the time

being," Desmond replied reasonably. His voice sounded as if he'd turned
his back and were attending to something else.

"Maybe 'or someone' would be better?" Raven muttered, though it

was more his own hurt pride and frustration speaking than anything
else.

"If that is your desire," was Desmond's smooth reply. He was used

to the Raven moods. Continuing as if the discussion was of little
importance, "I've brought dinner. Seems this...town has no inkling of

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

delivery or room service. I did however find a quaint establishment:
Granny's Nibblins. If I may direct you to the table?"

Michael sighed, his irritation leaving as quickly as it had began.

He was too tired to hold on to the emotion anyway. Besides, whatever
Desmond had found at Granny's Nibblins smelled delicious. He allowed
the older man to lead him to the table.

A sudden thought occurred to him. "What time is it ?"

"Ten minutes of seven, local time." Desmond replied. Then

touching his hand to a utensil, "This is your fork. Your plate is directly
before you. Enjoy." Then continuing without missing a beat, "And before
you began to fret, I've left a message with Ms. Belcuri, making her
aware that your arrival will be later than expected."

"Thank you," Michael said softly. What would he do without

Desmond, indeed. "You should have waken me. I told her that I would
come. I should have gone."

"You needed your rest," Desmond said. "You know what the

doctors said as well as I."

"Desmond," Raven warned.

"Yes I know. Don't 'mother' you," Desmond said the words in a way

that suggested he'd said them many times before. A silent moment
passed, and he continued. "I did try to awaken you, Michael. I suspect
that perhaps your body was simply too tired to awaken fully."

There had been other instances in which he had been difficult to

awaken. But the frequency had decreased. The doctors had explained
that it wasn't unusual with the type of head injury that he'd sustained.
His exhaustion had no doubt exacerbated the problem.

"Well," he said, with forced cheerfulness, "I'm rested now and I'm

starving. What else have you got besides country fried something or
other?"

----------

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

At half past seven, Christina found herself in the doorway saying

her good-byes to what she privately considered the lynch mob. One thing
was for sure, Angela Kater was definitely out of control. And the rest of
the group had been far too willing to follow her lead. Christina had to
admit, though, that the discussion of Angie's 'plan' had diverted
everyone from the true sadness behind the gathering. For that perhaps,
she should thank Angie.

Hugging each one of them with renewed appreciation, Christina

felt the beginnings of a genuine smile. In the midst of a half dozen
commands to call if she needed absolutely anything, she closed the door.
The care and concern of the townspeople touched her. Closing her eyes,
she forced away the tightness that began in the back of her throat. She'd
shed enough tears.

Opening her eyes, she allowed them to trail over the only home

she'd ever known. The apartment was still decorated as it had been
when Aunt Elise died. Christina hadn't changed a thing. Elise had been
fond of knickknacks as evidenced by the many figurines which decorated
the apartment. If Jason was to be hers, Christina would definitely have
to give some thought to child-proofing.

Finding surprising comfort in the thought, she pushed away from

the door to check her messages. The phone had rang several times
during the gathering. No doubt Mabel was checking up on her. She
paused mid-stride when the doorbell rang.

Thinking it to be one of the women from the gathering, or even

Mabel, Christine threw the door open without looking out the peephole.
The tall, darkly clothed form of Michael Raven, accompanied as usual by
his manservant, was not at all what she was expecting to see.

"Oh Mr. Raven and...Mr. Desmond," the name came to her at the

last minute. "Please come in."

Desmond thanked her politely and escorted Raven into the

apartment before stepping back onto the landing. "I will await your call,"
he spoke softly.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Thank you, Desmond," Raven replied, equally softly. After a nod

in Christina's direction, Desmond was gone, leaving her to face Jason's
father alone.

"Uhm, should I take your arm?" she asked, feeling extremely

uncomfortable. Michael Raven was tall and lean, looming nearly a foot
taller than her. Dressed in dark clothing, his face set in harsh lines, he
posed a very daunting figure. Jeannie was such a gentle creature at
heart; this man didn't seem at all the type to which she might be
attracted.

"That would probably best easiest," he said. "Unless you'd prefer

that I stumble around your home. I'm very likely to break a few things."
Christina wondered if a small, ironic smile crossed his lips. She couldn't
be sure as it was more a breaking of the thin line of his mouth than
anything else.

"All right," she breathed, then tentatively took his arm. He turned

his head slightly in her direction at her touch. Christina looked up
expectantly, wondering if he meant to say something. Then she realized
that he was simply acknowledging her. Feeling increasingly
uncomfortable, she took in the landscape. If the knick-knack shelves and
little odds and ends were off-limits as a child's domain, they were a
virtual mine field for Michael Raven. "This could be interesting," she
found herself saying aloud. "I didn't realized just how cluttered this
place is. We're going to move slowly here."

It took several minutes to make their way to the den, which she

figured was safer, considering. She offered words of warning when they
reached the sofa. Raven seemed to be listening very carefully as she
directed him, his movements only becoming jerky when she put a hand
on each of his arms to maneuver him backward so that his legs gently
brushed the chair. She was sure his lips twitched this time.

"Thank you," was all he said as he lowered himself carefully to sit.

"Would you like a drink or something to eat?" she asked, noting the

way he turned his head as if his ear were following the sound of her
voice. "There are a lot of things here that the neighbors brought. I could
even make a sandwich if you're hungry."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"No, thank you. I've eaten already," he answered. "But I would like

to apologize for arriving late. Have I missed everyone?"

"I'm afraid so," Christina said. "And it's no problem. I realize it

was unexpected." She looked down at her hands. He and Angela Kater
would not have been a good mix. But, Jeannie had been his wife...

She went on, "I was a little surprised when I found out who you

were, though. Jeannie never told me that you were blind."

Raven shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "That's probably because

she didn't know."

Christina wasn't sure how to reply to that. "I'm sorry," was all that

she could think to say.

Raven cleared his throat. "I was injured in an automobile accident,

or so they tell me. I only just awakened from a coma a couple weeks ago.
You can imagine my...surprise at receiving your telegram." He spoke the
words in a measured monotone.

"I'm so very sorry," Christina said, sure that words were

inadequate. Despite the fact that her best friend had found it necessary
to leave this man, she could very well understand the shock he must
have felt.

"How long were you in a coma?" she asked him.

"One hundred and twenty-seven days," Raven said. "I was the

resident miracle patient; they didn't think that I would live, much less
wake up. There was a price to pay for breaking the medical rules,
however. I lost some short term memory. The events in the months prior
to the accident are vague and unreliable at best. And of course, my
vision was forfeit as well. Although there is some thought that a series of
laser surgeries may help me regain a measure of vision."

"What about your memory?"

"That," he signed heavily, "Is open to debate. I remembered a lot in

that first week after I awoke, but the new memories have slowed down
now. The doctors aren't very hopeful."

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"I'm sorry," Christina said again and reached across to touch his

arm. "It must be very difficult for you."

"Yes," Raven nodded. "It is difficult. But I didn't come here to

burden you with my problems. I came here to see if you could help me
understand what happened with Jeannie."

Christina frowned. "What would you like to know?"

There were several moments before he uttered the softly spoken

words. "Why she left me."

Christina's heart wrenched. The simply spoken words told of his

sorrow and pain. And he was exposing himself to further pain by asking
such questions of a stranger. He hardly seemed daunting anymore as
Christina could sense what lay beneath the harsh facade he displayed.
And she wished desperately that she had an answer to his questions.
For his peace of mind, and her own.

"I don't know why she left you," she told him. "She never said, and

I never asked because she was so upset. I always thought we
had....time."

Raven deflated. "Can you tell me how she...died? I've been trying to

get the information, but the investigators haven't gotten back to me yet
and I would really like to know."

Christina swallowed. There was no way to buffer the truth so she

simply gave him the facts. Jeannie Raven had died without reason. And
the irony that both Jeannie and Michael Raven had been injured in
similar fashion was not lost on Christina. "She was killed in an
automobile accident in a neighboring town. Hit and run. The police
suspect that it was a drunk driver."

Raven gasped and paled.

"There's more," Christina pressed on, having come to a decision.

His investigators would learn of the truth eventually. "You have a three
month old son. His name is Jason Michael Raven." She enunciated each
name carefully to be sure he understood. "And he's sleeping in the other
room."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Raven froze completely as the news went through him. "A...s-son?"

he stuttered. Chris felt horrible at the necessity of the one-two punch
she'd just given him.

"I...have a son?" Hesitance turned into disbelief. "The baby from

the funeral...that can't be true." He turned away and moved to get up
from the sofa.

Christina rushed to help him. "I'm sorry, I know this is a shock to

you, especially after all this time. Maybe if I got you a drink you would
feel better." She grasped his arm as he stumbled into the coffee table
jarring the lazy Susan that had been left from the previous visitors.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, struggling to control powerful emotions.

"I - I'm not...." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I can't..."

"If you could just see him --" she began, then bit her tongue. Her

choice of words hadn't been the best. "Look why don't you have a seat?"
She tugged slightly on his arm.

"If I could see him what?" Raven asked.

Christina tugged again on his arm. "Would you like to sit?"

"No, tell me what you meant 'If I could see him'?"

"It was nothing." She gave up trying to move him. "I didn't mean

to..." her voice trailed off .

"No," his voice softened. "Please tell me what you meant. I know

that your choice of wording wasn't intended to be hurtful. I'd just like to
know what your thoughts were."

"If you could see him, you would love him," she said. "He's a

beautiful little boy."

"If I could see him," he repeated very softly, almost to himself.

"What does he look like? Like his mother I'll bet." A sad smile hovered
around his lips. He extended his arm, allowing Christina to lead him
once again.

"He has lots of curly dark hair and the longest lashes you've ever

seen. Actually..." Christina stopped for a moment in thought. "He has

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

pale blue eyes, not at all like Jeannie's. What color are your eyes Mr.
Raven?" she asked.

Raven silently reached up and removed his dark glasses. His eyes

were the same pale blue as Jason's.

"He probably looks a lot like you did when you were a baby," she

said. Just as if Christina had timed it, Jason began to whimper. It was
time for his last feeding of the day. "Would you like to feed him?" she
asked.

Raven shook his head nervously. "No, I can't do that. What if I

dropped him?".

All you have to do is support him and hold the bottle," Christina

said. "I'll help you," she added knowing she had him. "I'll be right back."
She put the bottle in the warmer on the way to the baby's room. By the
time she'd changed him and gotten back out to the den the bottle was
ready.

She spoke softly to him as she carried him over to his father.

Ordering Raven to curl his arms, she gently laid the baby in them. He
turned his face down towards the little bundle as if searching for an
image of his son. His face turned back up to Christina, his blue, sightless
eyes, full of awe.

"He smells good," he said, turning his head back toward the child.

"Here's the bottle," she placed it into his hand and guided it toward

Jason's mouth. The child immediately began to suck vigorously. Raven
seemed to find awe in that, too.

Christina smiled as she watched the two of them. At first Raven

was stiff, as if he were afraid he would drop the baby. But gradually he
began to relax. It looked and felt right, seeing them together. Perhaps
little Jason Raven could heal Michael Raven's emotional wounds.

Raven smiled in the general direction of the child. "I wish I could

see him."

"I'd like to ask a favor of you," Christina said, her voice turning

serious. She waited until Raven turned his head slightly in her direction.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Would you keep in touch with me so I'll know how he's doing, maybe let
me visit sometimes?"

"Visit?" Raven said. His voice became edged with something akin

to panic "I can't take care of him, I can barely take care of myself. He
needs someone to love him right now. Not a house full of strangers. I
wouldn't fight you if you wanted to keep him. You are much better for
him than I am. There are no guarantees on my vision. One blind parent
is not good enough for him."

"Mr. Raven, I have no claim to him. He is your child. Even though

I love him I know I have to give him to you. You are his father and he's
going to need you. The longer he's with me the harder it is to give him
up because I know after he's gone it's just me and this house. I know
what it is to have no family. But you are his family. He should not have
to grow up feeling that you didn't want him or that you gave him away."

"Are you saying that you won't keep him?" Raven asked. "What

would you do if I didn't take him? If I left him here with you?" He dared
her to deny she would take care of him rather than let him go to a foster
home.

Christina's voice hardened, "If you leave him here, then you're

going to have to give up all claim to him. Forever. You'll have to sign
over your parental rights. I don't want his life torn apart in a few
months or years whenever you decide you're ready for a child in your
life."

Raven held the baby silently for a few moments. She began to

wonder if he were going to answer her at all. He had to be reeling from
all that she'd hit him with that night. And she hated adding one more
thing to the list. But she needed to know. For herself, and for Jason.
There could be no middle ground.

"I'll need help," he said finally, looking up. For a moment, she

almost believed that he could see her and then his gaze drifted. "In my
home there is my mother, but she is an invalid and not capable of caring
for an infant. I'll need a nanny. Would you consider interviewing
someone for the position. I trust your judgment. And you already know

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Jason. I'll reimburse you for your time and any work that you are lost
here."

Christina let out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding.

A knot was forming in the back of her throat. That Jason would grow up
with his true family was wonderful. But she would be left alone as
before. She didn't trust herself to speak.

"If you need some time to think about it..." he offered.

"No," Christina spoke up sharply, then cleared her thought.

Forcing her voice to steady. "I don't need time to think about it. I'll do it.
I need to see the person who'll be taking care of...him. All I ask in
payment is a place to stay and travel arrangements."

"Very well then, I'll have all the arrangements taken care of." He

carefully placed the bottle on the table in front of him, feeling with his
fingers where the table was, also careful not to disturb the then sleeping
child.

"Would you like for me to put him to bed?"

"If you don't mind I'd just like to hold him for a while," he replied.

"It's very new to me I hope it isn't a bad thing to hold him like this."

Christina smiled, "My Aunt would say that your could never spoil

a child by loving it."

"Your Aunt sounds like a wise woman."

"Yes, she was."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Raven said. "I didn't realize..."

"It's really okay," Chris said. "She was wonderful, I still have all of

her memories her in this house. I grew up here, she took me in when I
was very young." Chris's affectionate gaze wandered around the room,
cluttered with the remnants of her past. She loved this old house. "We
used to run the shop together. She left it to me...after..."

"What happened to the rest of your family?" Raven asked.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"My parents died in an accident when I was about 2 years old so I

really don't remember them. When we were kids, Jeannie and I always
felt like it was the two of us against the rest of the world. Jeannie's Aunt
Cara took care of her and Aunt Elise took care of me. Jeannie's mother
left her with her aunt shortly after she was born. Jeannie thought her
mother was dead most of her life. But you probably know all of that
already."

Raven nodded his head. "Yes, I've met Georgiana on several

occasions. She lives near Greenich, and is rather an odd woman. She and
Jeannie had a strange relationship, from what I can remember."

Christina had never met Georgiana Stanton, and didn't think she

wanted to. Jeannie had had nothing good to say about her mother.

Raven continued, "I'd better go and let you get this little guy in

bed. Thank you again. For everything. For taking care of Jason. I'll be in
contact about the arrangements."

Christina removed the sleeping child from his arms, and showed

him out.

CHAPTER THREE

"Are you certain?" Michael Raven asked in surprise.

"I'm quite certain," was Desmond's calm reply.

"Has she been informed?"

"No. But she may already be aware of the situation if Jeannie

informed her. The insurance company will likely notify her within the
next thirty days that she is beneficiary."

Raven rubbed at his brow. "Well, it does make sense that Jeannie

would change her policy. Especially after Jason was born. But it also
means that she had no intention of ever telling me about my son." He
was quiet for several moments, while he tried to come to terms with the
situation. "What did I do wrong, Desmond?"

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Desmond sighed. "I don't know what happened between the two of

you. You...kept your own counsel back then. She left and you became
very distant. No one could reach you, Michael."

"I can barely remember her Desmond," he whispered. "How could I

fall in love with and marry a woman and then barely remember her?"

Desmond remained silent, allowing Raven to talk.

"That's what bothers me the most. I'm here mourning a woman I

don't know anymore, a woman who ran away from me. A woman who
has, in a round-a-bout way, given me the gift of a son. He's the one who
is important now. He's the focus."

----------

Christina sighed, and again demonstrated how to work the

temperamental mechanism on the safe. "See, if it sticks, then you have
to do it this way."

"Oh, I see," Angie Kater smiled apologetically. "I thought you

meant... Oh, never mind what I thought. I got it. So how long are you
going to be gone with this Michael Raven?"

Christina wondered just how much of what Angie did was an

excuse for digging up juicy information. As far as she was concerned, if
Angie didn't have a need to know, she wouldn't be hearing it from her.
Her answer was to the point. "Two weeks is what I have planned. Are
you worried about the extra hours?"

"Oh, they're no problem," Angie assured her. "If you would let me,

I'd take over the shop full time. This is a great old place. Your Aunt had
a good eye."

"Yeah, she did," Christina relaxed, gazing around the area.

"Have you told Larry yet?" Angie asked next.

"Not exactly. I left a message asking him to call. It'll probably be a

day before he gets back to me."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"How do you think he's going to take it?"

Chris shrugged. "Doesn't really matter."

Angie seemed to digest that for several seconds. "So, when ya

leaving?"

"In two days, if all goes as planned," Christina replied.

"You're not worried?" Angie's voice dropped to a whisper, though

there was no one else in the shop.

"About what?" Chris copied her tone.

"Being dragged off into the woods and getting roughed up." Angie

replied as if she were surprised that Chris hadn't come to that
conclusion herself.

"By a blind man?" she asked skeptically.

"You never know. It's the ones you least expect."

"I'll be careful," Chris assured her. The doorbell jangled,

announcing the arrival of a new customer, and Christina's release from
Angie's interrogation. "Listen, why don't you get that while I finish up
back here?"

"Sure thing," Angie bounced happily out of the room.

Chris sighed and returned to her task of bringing the books up to

date. She wanted things to go as smoothly as possible while she was
away. She'd only tapped in another set of digits into her calculator when
Angie's head appeared around the door.

"There's a woman here to see you." Angie informed her.

"Does she have a name?" Christina asked, barely glancing up from

her ledger.

"She said her name was Ms. Stanton."

Christina nearly dropped her pen. Georgiana Stanton?! Here?

Quickly marking her place, she passed around the desk and went toward
the front of the store.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I'm Christina Belcuri," she extended her hand to the perfectly

made up woman on the opposite side of the counter.

"Georgiana Stanton," the woman responded, disdainfully ignoring

the hand Christina had offered. Christina uncomfortably brought her
hand back to her side. It did have a bit of leftover wood stain on it.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Christina offered. "And I'm sorry to say

that you missed the funeral. It was the day before yesterday."

"What right did you have even burying my daughter?" Georgiana

demanded, ignoring Chris's proffered sympathy. Her eyes and tone were
cold.

Christina's eyes narrowed slightly as she studied the woman. "I

wasn't able to contact you," she said. "If you would like, I can show you
the grave site."

"She doesn't need me interfering with that. She's probably better

off where she is, silly girl. She certainly was unhappy enough in this life.
But what I would like, is to know why my daughter named you as
beneficiary to her life insurance policy."

Christina blinked, stunned at the woman's callousness. "What?"

"Her policy," Georgiana spat as if talking to a particularly dim

child. "Why did she leave it to you?"

Chris was too stunned to do anything more than answer. "I didn't

know she had. Are you sure?"

Georgiana rolled her eyes nastily. "Thanks for absolutely nothing."

With that the woman slammed out of the shop.

"And that was Jeannie's mother?" Angie asked, stepping up beside

her.

"Yep," Chris said.

"She didn't look very happy."

"No, I don't think she was."

"She didn't look too sad, either."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Nope."

"Why didn't you tell her about her grandchild? Might have

mellowed her--though I kinda doubt it."

"She didn't really give me a chance."

"Good point."

----------

Christina stared at her reflection in the mirror and nervously

fidgeted with her hair. She rarely wore it in any other manner than a
braid down her back. Even on Sundays. But in just a few minutes,
Michael Raven and Mr. Desmond would be arriving to gather she and
Jason. She decided that a trip to Greenich required something more.

Her long dark blonde hair had a natural wave and hung half to her

waist. She hadn't really needed the liner to accentuate her dark lashes
and brows, but Mabel, of all people, had insisted on it. She'd said that it
gave her a more 'put together' look. Whatever. And it was Angie who
had insisted on the lipstick. Christina simply wondered if all of it hadn't
been a big mistake.

With lipstick, she couldn't kiss Jason, and what if her hair fell over

her shoulder and bothered him? She hadn't really found a reason to
dislike the eye make-up, but she was sure she would come up with
something.

"Chris, are you coming out of there or not?!" a voice yelled through

the door.

"I'm coming!" she called back, making a wry expression. She could

just wash her face...

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

The phone rang as she continued to contemplate her newly forming

plan. Mabel and Angie would have no time to get her back into the
horrid stuff.

"It's for you! Larry!"

All thought of washing her face and braiding her hair vanished.

She'd left Larry a message two days earlier, and he'd chosen the worst of
all possible times to call her back. Leaving the bathroom and heading for
her bedroom, where she hoped to find at least a modicum of privacy, she
picked up the line.

"Hi Larry," she replied cheerfully into the phone. And then, upon

hearing Angie's breathing on the other extension. "I've got it, Ange."

"Sure thing," was Angie's disembodied reply, but no tell-tell click of

the receiver being replaced.

"Angie," Chris warned.

The phone clicked without another word. Chris sighed.

"What's going on?" Larry asked, his deep drawl echoed over the

phone lines bringing to mind his handsome features. His usual easy-
going smile was no doubt plastered over his face.

"I'm leaving," Chris told him. "Just for a little while. Two weeks."

"You? Leaving?" Larry laughed. "I thought I'd never hear of that

day. Taking a vacation? You ought to, you know. 'specially after being
saddled with that baby and all."

Christina fought the irritation that was beginning to rise. Larry

had never approved of her wanting to assume responsibility for
Jeannie's child. "No, Larry," she replied. "Jason's father showed up at
the funeral. He's taking the child home, and wants me to help him find a
nanny."

There was silence for several moments.

"Larry?" Chris spoke into the quiet.

"You sure that's such a good idea, Chris?"

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Well, he needs the help. He's blind. And his own mother is an

invalid. He just woke up from a coma for heaven's sake."

"You're kidding me. You believe that?! That's the most ridiculous

thing I've ever heard of in my life. No one is that unlucky --"

"Larry..." Chris tried to cut in.

"It's probably just some story to try to --"

"Larry..." Chris's voice rose.

"You're too naive for your own good! Let him find his own nanny! I

forbid you to go!"

"You what?" Chris demanded. "You can't forbid me to go anywhere.

In case you haven't noticed, you're 1000 miles away and have been for
the past month! I talk to you once a week, maybe! What gives you the
right?"

"You've been waiting for me all your life, Christina Renee Belcuri,

and you know it. That's why you called me. If you ever want me to ask
you to marry me, you'll do what I say."

Chris gasped in outrage. Of all the Neanderthal...! She was beyond

words. After sputtering several times into the phone, she simply
slammed the receiver down.

"Is everything all right?" Mabel and Angie came rushing into the

room.

Chris wiped at her eyes. The fool man wasn't worth crying over.

"Everything is fine," she told her friends. "Larry just wasn't very happy."

Mabel looked thoughtful, but Angie looked like she was trying to

decide which obvious question to ask first. Both didn't have an
opportunity to speak because the doorbell rang. It was time.

"I've gotta go," she told them, retrieving Jason from Mabel's arms.

Suddenly nervous at the impending trip, she glanced over everything
hoping that she hadn't forgotten anything. Everything seemed to be in
place.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"It's fine," Mabel told her, seeming to understand. "We'll take care

of this place. You just go."

Chris's eyes teared for a whole different reason as they settled on

Mabel. She hugged both women and headed for the door. Mr. Desmond
greeted her formally and gathered her luggage.

As the car pulled around the storefront of Elise's Olde Tyme Gift

Shop, Christina wondered if she'd ever see the place again.

----------

Christina gazed down at the lakes and highways and developments

that were the city of Greenich. It was beautiful from the air and she had
no doubt that it would be equally beautiful when they landed. They flew
in a small chartered craft that had met them at a neighboring airport.
The pilot, a Johnny French, had been very friendly, and described all of
the areas that they had flown over.

Michael Raven and Desmond had sat quietly in the back while

Christina soaked up the geography lesson. Jason had slept in a baby
carrier for the first half of the trip, and then lain contentedly through
the last leg. That had eased one of her fears. She'd worried that the
unfamiliar noise and motion would upset him. But it seemed Jason, like
she, were born to fly. She decided that she would have to find time to go
on vacation in the future.

As the plane descended toward the runway at Greenich airport,

she held her breath. The wheels gently bumped the ground, bringing a
delighted smile to her lips. Johnny French grinned over and gave her the
thumbs up sign before tending to several gages on the very full control
panel.

A car was waiting for them when they exited the plane. She saw

Raven speaking quickly with someone who quickly loaded her and
Jason's cases in the trunk. Desmond led her toward the back seat and
helped her load Jason and his carrier into the vehicle. Michael Raven
was soon settled beside her.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"That was wonderful," she smiled over at him, though she knew he

couldn't see her. A return smile broke out on his face.

"It appears that you love to fly as much as I do," he replied. "And

little Jason, my son, you were wonderful as well," he spoke in the
direction of Jason's carrier. The child was making happy gurgling noises,
so Chris was sure that no one would have any problems finding him.

Christina laughed at him, "I think he's a natural," she whispered

conspiratorially.

Raven's smile broadened. "He would have to be."

Christina watched as the smile lingered on Michael Raven's face.

The lines she'd remembered from three days past, were less deep. And
his coloring was better as well. She was beginning to understand what
Jeannie may have seen in this man.

The car began moving as Desmond climbed into the front seat.

Trees of many varieties lined the lane that led from the airport out onto
the local highway system. Greenich was nothing like McAllister. Yes,
McAllister had lots of trees, but none had the lush greenness of
Greenich.

Finally the car pulled into a driveway that seemed to go on forever.

After some minutes, they pulled around a curve and a sprawling white-
pillared home appeared. Christina's mouth dropped at the sight. This
was possibly the most beautiful home she'd ever seen.

"Welcome to Raven's Rest," Michael said at her side, and he was

smiling again. "Everything should be prepared for our arrival."

"Right," Chris said, awestruck at the sheer size of the place.

Dragging her eyes away from the site, she gathered Jason from the
carrier and followed Desmond and Raven up the wide steps.

The foyer was just as breathtaking as the outside. A giant polished

staircase stood off to one side and a marble fireplace on the other. An
ocean of polished parquet flooring stood between the stairs and the front
door. A room off to the left, near the fireplace, was occupied. Chris heard
voices.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Georgiana Stanton accompanied by a curly haired gentleman

carrying a briefcase stepped into view. Chris had a sinking feeling as the
gentleman retrieved something from a pocket. His manner screamed
lawyer.

"Hello Michael, Christina," the woman said. Then resting her eyes

on Christina, "I appreciate everything you've done for my daughter.
Especially for carrying for my grandson. And I think it's wonderful the
way you, Dear Michael, are trying to care for him, now. But really, you
must see that the child would be better off with me and family who can
love and care for him?"

"No," Chris muttered, tightening her arms possessively around the

child. "Jeannie left Jason in my care. You don't have any right to the
child."

"Grandparents do have rights, young lady. In the eyes of the law, it

is you who are the interloper." Then waving a hand at the gentleman at
her side. "This is my lawyer, Mr. Lunari. He is here to protect my rights,

and those of the well-being of the child. Michael is quite well meaning,
but he is unfit."

Michael spoke up for the first time since they'd entered the house.

His voice was deceptively calm. "Ms. Stanton, I ask that you and your
attorney leave my home immediately. You are not to enter it again
without my express permission. Any other communications you would
like to make on this matter are to be made through my attorney."

Georgiana smiled wickedly. "I'm just here as a courtesy, to inform

you of my intent," she said. "Wouldn't want you to have to try to find
someone to read it to you."

Chris glanced between the retreating duo and Michael. He was

shaking with rage. Christina wasn't doing much better. How a person
could be so mean, she couldn't understand. The woman hadn't wanted to
raise her own daughter and now, she was trying to gain custody of her
grandson. And during the entire time that she'd stood making her
threats she hadn't once looked at the child.

Raven stood very still for long moments after the front door closed.

When Jason began to whimper, Raven fidgeted slightly; a helpless

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

gesture for assistance. He'd gotten angry and lost his bearings. Chris
imagined that angered him even more.

Desmond cleared his throat. "Would you like to show Ms. Belcuri

to the nursery?"

Raven seemed to relax by force of will. "Yes, thank you, Desmond."

He allowed himself to be lead as the four of them slowly made their way
through a side hall and to a door on the lower level.

"This will be your room, Ms. Belcuri, " Desmond said. "It adjoins

the nursery." Opening the door he led them all in. The room was
breathtaking, done in yellows and creams. A large king sized bed looked
small in this room. Glass doors at the side of the room opened to a patio
that led to a garden beyond.

"Will it be suitable?" Raven asked. Desmond looked on smiling, as

he could see her reaction.

"It's perfect," Chris breathed. "Your home is very beautiful."

Raven smiled then. "Thank you. The nursery is through the other

door." Desmond led the way.

The nursery had every modern convenience. There was a new crib

and a rocking chair and music boxes and wall hangings -- all the things
Chris could possibly have wanted for her baby. If she had a baby, she
reminded herself. She couldn't forget that Jason was Mr. Raven's son.
But not for long, if Georgiana got her way. Chris fervently hoped that
she didn't. Because then, Chris knew for a certainty, she would never
see Jason again.

Chris put the child in the crib that had been prepared for him and

wound the music box. As a lilting melody tinkled out of the device, small
airplanes flew in circles. Jason was transfixed, and delivered several
kicks of delight. Chris couldn't help but to laugh at him.

As the music continued on, his eyes began to drift closed. His

breathing evened into the steady patterns of sleep.

"Thank you Desmond." Raven whispered.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Yes, sir." Desmond replied, then immediately left the room.

"There's a monitor in your room that you can take within a certain

range." Raven told her. "If you'll lead, we can go into the other room and
talk."

Chris gave him her arm and led him out of the nursery. "Could we

go into the gardens?" she asked. It was so beautiful, she wondered what
it would smell like.

"Of course. My mother used to like to sit out here when I was

younger."

Chris opened the doors and led him out. "There's a bench to the left

where we can sit," he said.

Chris, copying motions she'd seen Desmond make, led him to the

bench. At first they sat silently, listening to the gentle sounds of birds
singing and the flow of the wind. The smell of many flowers flavored the
air, adding to the general serenity of the place.

After a time, Michael Raven began speaking. "I'm sorry you had to

witness that scene. When I told her about Jason, she'd seemed happy -
like you'd expect any grandparent to be. I should have known better
than to take Georgiana at face value."

Chris wasn't entirely sure what to make of his last sentence.

"What I don't understand is why she is doing this. You said that she
lives in a nearby city, so she could always visit. And from the way she
simply left Jeannie with her sister, and the fact that she didn't even look
at Jason, I wouldn't imagine that she has some great longing to mother.
She probably wouldn't even know him if he turned up in a basket on her
doorstep."

Raven chuckled mildly, "You're probably right. But you could say

the same of me."

"No you couldn't," Christina objected.

"I'll bet you'd know him, by the way he feels, by the way he smells

and sounds. I've seen you take in all those things about him."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Michael smiled, pleased. "Thank you," he said softly. "I really want

what is best for that little boy. But, I'm afraid I know why Georgiana is
doing this. If she were to gain custody of Jason, then she could also file
for me to pay child support. That could prove very lucrative for her. I
believe she may be especially upset since Jeannie left her life insurance
to you."

"I'd give her the money if it would make her stop." Chris said.

"It won't," Michael shook his head. "She's probably decided that

she can get more out of me."

"She won't take care of him, Mr. Raven," Chris insisted. "She'd

treat him just like she did Jeannie, just leave him behind somewhere.
You can't let her get away with this."

"I don't have a lot of choice in the matter. If I can't prove to a judge

that I would be a fit parent, then she could win her case. Despite how
much I want it to be so, I haven't recovered from my accident. I have
several more surgeries to go through, and there is no other family
available to care for him."

"What would you have to do to prove you were a fit parent?"

Christine asked. She wanted to help in any way she could to save Jason
from the life Jeannie had had.

"In my present condition the only thing that would convince a

judge would be if I were married, then there would be no problem at all
and Georgie would have no basis for her claims."

"I don't suppose you have a girlfriend?" Chris asked.

Raven grinned. "You're going to help me find a wife now, are you?"

"Sure," Christine said, "Now what type of woman do you like?"

"Sweet, gentle, kind, loving, someone who will love Jason and take

care of him as if he were her own. Someone who would be a good mother
to him. Someone like...you. If you could find someone just like you, I'd be
willing."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Well, it's just your luck I happen to be free," Chris responded,

thinking briefly back to the argument she had earlier with Larry.

Raven sat silent for a second. "Are you really? Free?" he asked

finally. "No boyfriends back home, waiting with bated breath for your
return?"

Chris squelched the image of Larry that cropped up. Their

relationship had been going nowhere for years. And the situation with
Jason had brought many of the reasons why to the fore. Larry would
never settle down to a normal life with a home and a family. She was
alone.

Shaking her head, she answered, "Nope, it's just me." She held her

breath.

"Would you really consider it then? For Jason?" He asked.

"Yes, I would." She answered without hesitation.

Raven let his breathe go, before answering, "If you do decide to go

through with this, it would have to be soon, Georgie would probably
want to have a hearing as quickly as possible."

"I understand," Chris said suddenly feeling very self conscious. She

was definitely getting the better end of the deal. She could have Jason as
her own son and also, this beautiful home to live in... Raven cut into her
thoughts.

"After the issue is settled and I am able to take better care of

Jason, you could be released from the marriage. Or earlier if you desired,
as long as Georgiana was no longer a threat."

Chris paused in her imaginings. Because that was all they were.

Jason would not be her son. But, she couldn't allow Georgiana Stanton
to use Jason to get money for herself. Marriage was a very serious step,
not something one planned on leaving at a set date. But if Raven didn't
want to remain tied down to her... For Jason, she would do this. But she
couldn't let it be for nothing.

"What happens if you never regain your sight?" Chris asked.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I'm confident that I will." He said, "If there's some unexpected

problem, we can cross that bridge when and if we come to it."

Chris nodded, "I'll do it, but I have one request first."

"Yes?"

"I want equal custody of Jason, no matter what happens."

"Okay," Raven sighed. "I promise you that. I'll have my lawyers

draw up a contract if you like."

Chris considered him. She trusted him, but people changed. "Okay,

that'll be fine." The sunshine had gone out of the day for her. She was
now involved in a business arrangement of a kind she had never
expected.

CHAPTER FOUR

"You what?!" Christina put the phone away from her ear. When

Mabel's very loud reply to her news quieted, she put it back to her ear.

"I have to do this Mabel. I explained about Georgiana."

"Yeah, I know honey," Mabel said. "But is this a wise idea? And

what about Larry?"

Christina sighed. "It's the only thing I can do. He's a good man --"

"You barely know him! You met the man five days ago! Your best

friend left him, remember?" Mabel was never one to mince words.
"You're gonna get yourself hurt, child. And poor Larry..."

"Poor Larry, ha!" Chris replied, quickly filling the woman in on the

conversation they had. "I think we're pretty much broken up, don't you?"

"Chris, you can't just do this to get back at him. Not where a child

is involved."

"I know what I'm doing Mabel. I do. If you could just send the

papers for me, I'd appreciate it."

"All right," Mabel said. "But I'm coming out there to see it done.

And I've got a few other things too that came for you."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Thank you, Mabel," Chris said, sighing.

"Yeah," the woman hung up.

Chris carefully replaced the phone back into the cradle. That had

been a little easier than she'd expected. Twelve days between meeting
and marrying probably was some sort of a record. And she hoped Mabel
wasn't coming just to try to talk her out of it.

----------

"How are you, Sir?" Desmond asked.

"Nervous."

"Whatever for?"

"I don't know," Michael said. "Because I want to do this? To give

Jason a whole family. But what if she decides that she wants out."

"I believe her to be a reliable young woman," Desmond said. "She

cares well for your son, and I believe that in time there can be more
between the two of you."

Michael cocked his head sharply at that. "What do you mean?"

"She wants this as much as you do."

"Only for Jason," he replied. "She just wants to make sure

Georgiana doesn't win."

"Hmmm. Maybe. She and her guest are shopping for a dress for

tomorrow's ceremony. She seemed very excited."

"Really?" Michael was surprised.

"Yes. You would know that if you had talked to her at all in the

past few days."

"I was afraid that she might change her mind."

"Don't underestimate yourself."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

----------

"Do you, Michael Kenneth Raven, take Christina Renee Belcuri to

be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, in sickness and
health, till death do you part?" the officiator asked.

"I do," agreed Michael Raven with a smile. The couple stood before

the officiator on the gazebo in the garden at Raven's Rest. Desmond,
Michael's mother and Mabel stood by as witnesses. Michael still wore
the dark glasses that signaled his blindness.

"Do you Christina Renee Belcuri, take Michael Kenneth Raven to

be your lawfully wedded husband, to honor and obey, in sickness and
health, till death do you part?" Chris experienced a moment of
uncertainty. Would it really be till death did they part if Michael might
want to end this relationship after he retrieved his vision? Then she
realized, she did mean those words. If Mr. Raven wanted her, she fully
intended this to be a lifetime commitment. "I do," she said.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," the official said raising his

arms into the air. "You may now kiss the bride."

Chris stood very still, willing herself to breathe normally, as

Michael Raven reached searching hands up along her shoulders, along
her neck and to her face. Her pulse kicked into triple gear as he gently
ran his thumbs across her lips. Her eyes drifted closed as he lowered her
head to bestow her with a soft, lingering kiss.

His hands remained on her face after the kiss ended, and he looked

as if he would kiss her again when the official's voice rang through the
garden. "I now present, Mr. and Mrs. Michael Raven. What God had
yoked together, let no man put asunder."

The ceremony was over, but Chris felt that she would never be the

same. She and Michael Raven were quickly surrounded by those who
had attended the private ceremony. Mabel, holding Jason, was the first
to hug her and whisper congratulations in her ear. A light buffet
luncheon would serve as reception, after which Mabel would be leaving
as she had to return to her post office.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"He slept through the whole thing," Mabel told her, smiling. "I

think I'll go and put him down."

Christina thanked her, and turned to Michael's mother who smiled

up at her from a wheel chair. The woman seemed in and out of reality.
That day she was more out. She continued to call Christina Lulabel.

As the meal was drawing to a close, Raven made a gesture toward

Desmond. The man got up and directed Michael toward Christina and
placed his hand on her arm. After a nod, and a wink, he was gone.

Christina didn't know what to make of that. Desmond had always

been so calm, composed. She turned to Raven. "What's going on?"

He ran his hand along her arm until he found hers. The warm

brown hand that gently engulfed hers captured her full attention. "I
have something to show you," he said. "Could you lead us to the front of
the house?"

"Of course," Christina said, wondering at the mysterious smile

that lingered at the corners of his mouth. Moving through the gathered
group, she led him around the house. When they were halfway there, he
reached a hand into his breast pocket and withdrew something that
jingled. He held it out to her.

A key ring with several keys was placed into her palm. She stared

at them dumbly, for a moment. It wasn't until they rounded the house
that she realized what he intended. A cream-colored Mercedes sat in the
driveway with a big pink bow tied around it.

Chris drew in her breath. "Oh, Mr. Raven! You shouldn't have!"

she cried.

Raven smiled at her excitement. "Michael," he whispered

conspiratorially. "We're married now. Why don't you go on and try it
out?"

"You're sure? It's okay?" Chris asked excitedly.

"Of course it's okay," Raven said. "I bought it for you, Christina.

It's your car. You can drive it whenever you like."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Thank you," Chris said once more before she dashed across to the

vehicle and climbed inside. The sweet smell of newness assaulted her.
Soft leather seats and rich interior spoke of comfort and expense. She
hugged the steering wheel and closed her eyes tightly. This all had to be
a dream.

Chris opened her eyes at the crunch of tires against asphalt

Moving quickly out of the car, she went to Michael's side. Their first
guests as husband and wife were non other than Georgiana Stanton and
her attorney.

"Well, hello," Georgie greeted them. "Did I miss the party?" Her

eyes drifted over toward the new sedan tied with a huge ribbon, and
narrowed. "Did I missing something?"

Michael smiled coldly in the direction of Georgie's voice. "Why yes,

Georgiana, you did and I don't remember inviting you to our home." The

way Michael stressed the word 'our' was not lost on Christina. Her eyes
widened in surprise.

If Michael's meaning wasn't lost on Christina, it certainly wasn't

lost on Georgie. Her eyes went immediately to Chris's left hand. The
woman's jaw dropped. "You move fast, don't you, you little vixen!" she
spat in Chris's direction. Chris was at a loss as to how to respond.
"Anyone can see through this little farce."

"I'm sure you're not here to trade niceties, Georgie. State your

business." Michael said.

Georgie shrugged artfully. "Oh, it's just this little 'ol subpoena."

She grabbed Raven's hand where it lay against Chris's arm and placed
the folded papers in it. "Be there or be square," she threw over her
shoulder as a parting shot.

Michael held himself very stiffly for long moments after Georgie

and her attorney had left. Chris felt the muscles of his arm clench.
Michael was furious; that much she knew. But what to do about it, she
had absolutely no idea. She simply didn't know the man well enough.

The enormity of what she had just done hit her. She was married

to a man who was practically a stranger. The only thing she really knew

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

about him was that he had married her best friend, who had then left
him. Was she so desperate that she'd marry a man she didn't know to
abate the loneliness that she feared would be her only existence?

"Let's not allow her to ruin this day for us," Michael finally said

with effort. "We should go in and enjoy our guests. And then, later, I'll
make reservations for us at a restaurant that I hope you'll enjoy."

"Okay," Christina looked up at him in surprise. Of all the

responses she might have expected from him, this wasn't it. She filed it
away, determined to get to know this man.

"Chef Henri is an experience not to be missed," he told her, his

smile becoming more genuine. "And I've heard that I could stand a few
more pounds on these bones. Now, if you can show me to the study, we
can dispense with this... item."

"Study..." Christina pondered that. Did she know where his study

was? "You wouldn't happen to have one of those maps that say, 'You are
here', would you?"

Michael laughed. "No, but perhaps one is in order. Why don't we

rejoin our guests, and I'll have Desmond handle it."

When they reentered the garden, Desmond zeroed in on them. He

seemed to have a sense that Michael needed him. Michael murmured
several words to him, and took his proffered arm. Desmond immediately
removed the subpoena from his hand. "Shall we proceed to the study?"

"Yes," Michael responded, "And I'd like a reservation for two at Le

Bohemme."

Desmond placed the offending sheaf of papers in an inner pocket,

and continued the conversation without missing a beat. "Shall I request
Chef Henri as well?"

"Yes, that would be nice, Desmond. But don't bother him if he's

busy. In fact..."

Chris stood and watched as the older man led the younger up into

the house. She followed slowly, and then stopped. There was obviously
more to the relationship between the two men than that of

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Master/Servant. She sensed that they genuinely cared for one another.
Perhaps it was better that she not interfere.

"Something wrong?" a voice asked behind her, causing her to

startle.

"Oh. No, Mabel." Christina turned to speak to her friend. "I was

just thinking."

"About what, honey?"

"Just that... I have a lot to learn. That maybe you were right..."

"Oh, don't go having second thoughts, now," Mabel chided her.

"Besides, I've questioned everyone I could get my hands on."

"And?" Christina was curious to what conclusion the woman had

come. She seemed mildly abashed.

"I think you did okay," she said. "Everyone seems to respect him.

Most want to protect him, and are worried that you are taking
advantage of him."

"They told you that?" Christina was shocked.

"Well, not in so many words. They just worry about him, I suppose.

He does have that vulnerable boyish thing going on."

Chris's brows went skyward. "Mabel? What have you been

drinking?"

"Ginger Ale, thank you very much," the older woman shot back.

"Listen, I hope this all works out. I think in the long run the two of you
could be good for one another. Regardless of how it all started."

"I hope you're right." Christina said, softly.

"I'm always right," Mabel assured her. "Now, come with me to the

airport so I can cry at the gate."

----------

Chris left Mabel at the gate with a teary promise to call as soon as

she arrived home in McAllister. Once again at Raven's Rest, she went

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

directly to the nursery where she found Jason having a nap while Maria,
one of the house maids, read.

"Hi," she whispered across the dim room. "How's the little guy?"

"An angel," Maria smiled and whispered back. "He's a wonderful

little boy."

Chris smiled proudly down at the warm bundle beneath the thin

blanket. She couldn't have been prouder if she'd given birth to him
herself. Her attention changed when there was a tap at the door of her
room.

Gesturing to Maria that she'd get it, she left the nursery and

walked through her room to answer the door. She was surprised when
she opened the door to find Michael Raven standing there alone.

"Uh...Mr. Raven," the surprise was evident in her voice. "Is

something wrong?" she searched the hallway to be sure that Desmond
wasn't nearby.

"No," Michael replied, a small smile playing at his lips. "And it's

Michael, remember?" When Chris repeated his name in response, he
continued, "Should something be?"

"No," Chris returned, her voice lost someplace between confusion

and amusement. "Where's Desmond?"

"I gave him some time off. He deserves that every now and then,

you know." After a moment longer of standing outside of her door,
Michael cleared his throat. "You know if you keep me standing out here
like this, people might start to talk."

"Oh! I'm sorry," Chris exclaimed. She took his arm and carefully

led him in, "after all this is your house."

"Our house," Michael corrected her.

"Our house," she blinked, off guard. "So, how are we gonna get to

the restaurant?" Chris asked in the quiet that followed.

"Oh, you're gonna drive," Michael smiled. "That is, if you want to,

you can drive. Otherwise we can take a taxi."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"No I don't mind driving," Chris smiled. "Only I don't know the

way."

"Oh, it's easy. I'll talk you through it. Unless they've changed

something major about the streets, I should be able to get us there."

And get them there, he did. Le Bohemme was a very elegant

restaurant with excellent food. Chris enjoyed the place immensely.
Michael seemed to be going out of his way to make her happy. At the end
of the meal he surprised her with a serenade by a gentleman who sang
something French to her. By the time they were in the car going home,
she felt pleasantly happy.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Michael asked as she car turned into the

drive.

"Very much," Chris smiled. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," Michael returned, fingering the elegant

brown walking stick he'd carried tonight. "There is a matter we must
discuss, however." His tone had definitely sobered.

"What is it?" Chris asked worriedly. The quiet engine died away as

she turned the key to off.

"The subpoena means the Georgie has every intention of going

through with this lawsuit. Our marriage must appear real. If it were
discovered that we do not share a bedroom, then a judge might doubt the
seriousness of our commitment. So, I'm asking if you would share my
bedroom with me? Now before you answer, I have a sleeping bag stowed
in the closet, and I have a really big sofa in the room. You wouldn't have
to be uncomfortable."

Chris sat speechless for a moment. She had wondered just how

much of a marriage he had planned on having over the past few days.
When there had been no move made to transfer her things to his suite of
rooms, she considered the matter settled. But now...

"I don't mind," she heard herself saying softly.

"You're sure?" Michael asked, head still down and finger fiddling

with the walking stick.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I'm sure," Chris replied more firmly. It was obvious that Michael

had had no intention of making this a real marriage. But then, perhaps
that was best in the long run. Feeling as if some of the happiness had
gone out of the evening, Chris moved to open the door.

"Are you ready to go in?" she asked.

"Yes," Raven nodded and opened his own door. He'd almost made it

to the front of the car when he made a misstep and stumbled into the
car.

"Are you all right?" Chris rushed to his side.

"I guess I'm really not very good with this thing?" Michael

responded good-naturedly. "Hope I didn't hurt the car."

Chris laughed at him. "No, I think the car survived this time.

Come on, I lead you to the house."

Michael lightly held Chris's arm as she led him into the front door

and up the stairs. Instead of continuing along the hall that led to the
nursery, she went up the winding staircase and along another hall that
led to Michael's rooms.

At the door, she hesitated. "I need to check on Jason," she

murmured, "And gather some things."

"I want to come with you," he responded. "We should probably

bring the monitor back with us since you won't be in the room with him
tonight."

"Yeah," Chris murmured nervously. This was going to be more

difficult than she thought.

Maria was still in the nursery when they arrived, dosing.

"Maria," Chris called her name softly. "We're back."

Maria looked sleepily up at the two of them and smiled her thanks.

"You didn't have to stay here the whole time," Chris told her. "He

sleeps through the night pretty well."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Oh, I didn't mind," Maria told her with an indulgent grin. "I like

to just look at him. He's so beautiful." A moment later the young woman
was gone. Chris hesitated, unwilling to leave the child so far away.

Michael, seeming to sense her mood, placed a warm hand along the

side of her arm. Its warmth infused her, seeming to spread to all parts of
her body. "We can spend the night in this room, if you want," he told her.
"You'll just have to give up your blanket."

"You know, the bed is huge. There's really no reason for you to

sleep on the floor," Chris found herself saying. "We probably wouldn't
even have to touch one another."

Chris could practically feel his smile. "I like that idea."

That settled, Chris led him back into the bedroom proper and

pulled the door to the nursery close, but not all the way closed. "Is there
anything special you need? Do you want me to get Desmond?"

"On vacation, remember," Michael smiled again. "And, nothing

special. Although, you're gonna have to tell me where I can put these."
He had removed the dark glasses he customarily wore, again revealing
those startling blue eyes that were so like Jason's. He seemed to be
looking directly at her.

Chris blinked a moment in confusion. "Um, can you see me?" she

asked.

Michael shook his head sadly. "No. I wish I could. I only have a few

impressions, from before, at the ceremony." He reached his hands
toward her, again running them up her arms and to her neck and face.
"Would you tell me?"

Christina found it difficult to control her response. Couldn't he feel

her heart pounding, and the way her breath caught in her throat. "I
have dark blonde hair," she told him, forcing the words out.
"Uh...it's...wavy."

His hands tangled in her hair, trailing the long length down her

back, tracing her form along the way. He made another path up along
her arms to her face.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"My...my eyes are gray," Christina continued. "I suppose my

features are...even. I think my...lips are... too full and..."

"Beautiful," Michael whispered, his fingers now tracing a path

across her mouth. "So warm, lovely." His head descended slightly. "May
I?" he asked.

"Yes," she breathed in response.

His fingers were soon replaced by his own lips moving sweetly and

gently over her own. The gentle, searching kiss quickly changed to
something deeper. The dark glasses fell to the floor behind them, as
Raven buried both his hands in her hair and pulled her body into his.
Wandering hands gently searched her form, first questing, then with an
urgency as he sought to know every part of her.

Chris's head buzzed at the intimacy as Michael drank of her

innocence. That he wanted more was obvious, and she was helpless to
stop him. She didn't want to stop him.

The phone rang.

They jerked slightly apart. Then Michael touched her face again,

and covered her lips and she was lost. The machine picked up. Mabel's
voice was like a bucket of ice water.

"Hi there, just want you to know I'm back. Our resident gossip is

wanting to know how you're making out." Mabel sighed heavily. "Silly
girl. Well, enjoy yourself. Give me a call when you can. Bye."

Michael dropped his hands away from her when she stiffened. "I'm

sorry," he said, breathing heavily. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

Christina drew in a deep cleansing breath, and moved to pick up

his glasses from the floor. Her emotions were in such turmoil, she didn't
know that she could speak rationally on the subject. She simply placed
his glasses on the bed side table.

"Perhaps we should get some sleep," she managed.

CHAPTER FIVE

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Yes, you're right," Michael nodded his agreement. Why had he

risked kissing her again? Especially in light of his growing attraction for
her. It hadn't helped to spend a week hearing whisperings of the staff of
how well she did with Jason, or Desmond's high praise of her. She
seemed so tailor-made to fit him and his life. Only, he was blind and
they'd made a deal. He could not strap her with his problems. He
wouldn't. She deserved more than a life of servitude with a man who
couldn't see.

But she'd responded so sweetly, his traitorous heart reminded him.

It would have been so easy to draw her closer, to taste again of her
sweetness. In an effort to stifle his frustration, he began to undress,
tearing at the tight knot in his tie. The more he pulled, the tighter and
more tangled the garment became.

When gentle fingers settled on his hands, he couldn't prevent the

way his body went absolutely still, tensed as if responding to some
ancient fight or flight reflex.

"Let me help," Christina said softly. Her voice was like a balm,

relaxing some of the pent-up energy. Even Desmond, who knew him
better than anyone, couldn't do that. Despite the fact that he knew close
proximity was dangerous, he allowed his hands to fall to his sides so that
she might have better access. She moved deftly, her fingers brushing
every so often against his neck.

"Thank you," he replied, when she pressed the garment into his

palm. His next problem would be to figure exactly where in the room he
was. Amazingly, Christina solved that one for him, too.

"There is a chair by the bedside. Would you like me to lead you

there?" Her words were spoken politely, clipped. Did that mean that she
was unhappy? That she was angry or dissatisfied?

"I would appreciate that, thanks."

"You're welcome." Unhappy, he decided.

"Christina?" He called her name as she released him near at the

bedside.

"Yes?" He could tell her back was to him.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I'm... I'm sorry. Are you okay?" There was a long pause, followed

by a strained, "There's no need to apologize. I'll just be in the bathroom.
Call if you need anything." In a flurry of motion she was gone.

Long minutes later, after he'd climbed beneath the covers, he

heard her exiting the bathroom. He kept as far to his side of the bed as
possible, least she feel crowded, but most of all, least he feel the warmth
of her body and be tempted.

She moved silently and slid in alongside him. Her slight weight

barely disturbed the mattress, but her every movement conjured images
in his mind. Desmond had described her features for him, his hands and
body had filled in the rest. He ached to learn more.

The soft click of the light being shut off, startled him, but neither

spoke. It was a long time before he heard her breathing settle into the
gentle rhythms of sleep. It was even longer before he did.

----------

Christina opened her eyes. It was morning -- early judging by the

dimness of the light echoing through the curtains. The first day of her
life as a married woman. Well, a pseudo-married woman, she reminded
herself of the conclusions she'd come to the night before. She turned her
head to look at her husband. Pseudo-husband. He slept deeply, one arm
thrown across his forehead, obscuring the top portion of his face. Only
slightly parted lips were visible.

He tossed his head slightly, and uttered a small sound, barely an

exhalation. Suddenly his arm flew out, as if in defense, and his eyes shot
wide. Pure panic was what Christina read across his features.

"Michael!" She touched him, hoping to draw him from whatever

terrors haunted him. He jerked slightly, and then the emotion faded
away to acceptance.

"Are you okay?" She asked him.

"Yeah, bad dream," he murmured, fumbling for the covers then

tossing them aside. "Sorry if I woke you."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"You didn't," Christina replied, but she wasn't sure he was

listening. Moving determinedly, he'd sat up on the side of the bed. Here,
she got her first look at him. Despite a, not unpleasant, thinness about
him, there were signs that his body had once been full of lithe muscle.
He'd come to bed dressed only in green boxer briefs, and was currently
moving carefully toward the bathroom.

She wanted to offer assistance, but judging from the tense set of

his shoulders, she was sure that was not what he would have wanted. So
she pulled the covers over her shoulder and snuggled back down into the
bed, hoping that he had no way of knowing that she followed his every
move.

When the door closed behind him, she sighed into her pillow. What

in the world was wrong with her? She was lying there in bed, mooning
over the man to which she was temporarily married. He'd made it
clearer than clear that this wasn't to be a real marriage. She could not
loose her heart to him. Already, she was on a slippery slope.

Her mind continued to replay remembrances of the tender care he

showed his son. Though he and she had spoken very little since their
'business arrangement', he had always made time to spend with Jason.
Most often she saw the two of them in the gardens, Michael holding the
cooing child on his lap whilst Desmond or some other member of the
staff spoke earnestly with him.

Deciding that sleep was not in her future, at least for the next 12-

15 hours or so, she, too, got out of bed. Pulling on a robe, she went into
the nursery to check on Jason. He was sleeping peacefully. Unsure what
her next move should be, she went back out in the bedroom. Michael was
still in the bathroom; the sound of the shower echoed faintly through the
door.

Well, he had to be hungry. And he would no doubt want some clean

clothes when he came out. Maybe one of the maids would be up and
about and could retrieve some for her. With that mission in mind, she
headed down the hall.

In the kitchen she found Liza. Liza was the most colorful of the

household staff, and by the time Chris had accomplished her goals and

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

headed back to her room, her mood was significantly lightened. No one
could not smile when Liza was around.

Re-entering the bedroom, she noticed that the sound of the shower

was gone, but the bathroom was still occupied. She placed the clothes on
the edge of the bed, arranging them in the manner that Liza had
described, and moved toward the french doors that led into the garden.
The beauty beyond enticed her to open them.

The smell of morning flowers poured in, lending a sweet, slightly

damp aroma to the room. Smiling as she took in a lungful, she wondered
how the cool grass would feel under her feet. She was considering
finding out by experience when the bathroom door opened.

"Good morning," she said. Michael's body jerked.

"Sorry," she apologized, with a smile in her voice. "I got you some

fresh clothes. They're on the bed. Breakfast will be ready in about 20
minutes."

Michael relaxed slightly. "You don't have to wait on me. I don't

want you acting as my personal servant." Irritation colored his motions
as he moved toward the bed, a towel clenched around his waist.

Christina frowned. "I didn't feel like a personal servant when I was

doing it," she told him evenly.

Michael relented only slightly. "I have to learn to do these things

for myself. If I forget to gather my clothing before I go into the
bathroom, then I must suffer the consequences. The consequences are an
excellent teaching aid."

"Mmm," Chris murmured, beginning to recognize something about

him. He used anger as a defense mechanism. "Do you always wake up
this grumpy?" she asked sweetly. Perhaps it was time to take the bull by
the horns.

He paused, stunned. Then, struggling to conceal a smile, he

muttered a half-hearted 'yes'.

"Good," Christina smiled. "I like to know what I'm in for. Now, if

you don't mind just this once, your clothing is on the bed and breakfast

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

will be ready soon. I'll be in the shower. Hope you didn't use all the hot
water."

----------

Breakfast was a very pleasant affair. The meal was served on a

sunny patio where the smell of spring, and the whistle of birdsong had
its affect, lifting both their spirits. Christina told Michael of the many
summers she and Jeannie had daydreamed about living the life of Rizzo.
Michael had been completely puzzled by the reference, but had laughed
anyway.

Christina proceeded to educate him on the value of the movies and

play "Grease" in the life of an adolescent girl, which lead to unmerciful
teasing about greased hair and sweat socks.

After breakfast, they spent the day wandering the grounds of

Raven's Rest. With Jason in a stroller, Michael showed her around. He
seemed to surprise even himself with what he could show her simply
based on memory. All in all, in Christina's mind the day seemed
magical.

In late evening, they enjoyed a delicious meal and having talked

Maria into renting the video cassette of "Grease", Christina had dragged
a pseudo-reluctant Michael to enjoy it with her. She didn't think she had
ever enjoyed the movie so much. Michael insisted that she describe the
outrageous hair colors during the beauty school number, and even teach
him to do the hand jive. That had ended with both of them falling over
on the sofa laughing.

As time drew near for them to go to bed, Christina could feel a

mild tension building between the two of them. Still they managed to
chuckle over the days events as they traversed the hall that took them
there. As the door closed behind them, the tension edged up couple
notches. Michael's smile faded away, and Christina did not need to be a
mind reader to know what he was thinking, because she was thinking
the same thing.

After several moments of silence, they both began to speak at once.

Michael gestured that she should go first. She told him that she'd check

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

on Jason, and Michael informed her that he wanted a shower before bed.
Exchanging hesitant responses, they went their separate ways.

Later, Michael stepped out of the bathroom into the darkness. The

fresh scent of soap clung to him as he settled in. Her mind's eye supplied
the image that the darkness hid. It seemed only natural that she should
reach out and touch him. But that was too dangerous. Far too
dangerous.

Though they had touched many times during the day, any touch

she bestowed now would be of the lingering variety, the kind that led to
other things, other places that she could not go. Not if she wanted to
come out of this situation with her heart intact. She thought that she
had managed to bring her heart's traitorous pounding under control
when Michael tentatively called her name, asking if she were awake.

Chris squeezed her eyes shut, hardly daring to breathe. She could

not speak for the consequences if she answered. Hadn't Michael said
that the consequences were a teaching aid? Did she want to learn this
lesson? The seconds ticked past, and eventually Michael released a light
sigh and fell silent.

----------

The next day, Christina arose to find that Michael had risen early

and vanished into his office. She had learned from the staff that he was
the owner of Raven Imports Corporation, a company that he had
inherited from his grandfather. That became the pattern for the days
that followed.

Christina spent her days with Jason, or working with Ezra the

gardener. Occasionally she received calls from Angie Kater on running
the antique shop. She never saw Michael until the evenings when he
appeared for dinner as he generally had lunch in his office. The dinners
were normally quiet affairs, in which Michael didn't seem inclined to
talk beyond softly spoken pleasantries.

They both went to bed early, Michael usually falling into an

exhausted sleep right away while she wondered what she could do to

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

regain the friendly camaraderie that they had shared on that first day.
Her attempts to draw him into watching the sequel to Grease had failed
with Michael apologizing that he was too tired, and perhaps they could
watch it some other time.

She had wanted to yell at him, asking when some other time would

be, but shamed washed over her, locking the words in her throat. She
really didn't have the right to make demands of his time. And he was so
exhausted lately, deep hollows seemingly permanently etched beneath
his eyes. Who was she to add to that? So, she had quietly backed down,
and allowed him his space. That was the night the dream returned.

Christina woke to the sound of muffled moans. Turning to her side,

she caught the image of Michael Raven tossing frantically in his sleep.
From the whimpering sounds he made, it seemed as if he were pleading
with someone.

"Michael!" she touched his arm, gently shaking him. "You're

dreaming, wake up."

His head continued to thrash as he fought in some reality created

in his dreams. A muffled, "no" slipped past his lips before she shook him
more forcefully.

"Michael, wake up!" she called, leaning over him now. His eyes

shot open, searching frantically in the dark. The panic that she'd noticed
before was clearly present. His hands reached up and grasped her upper
arms, holding on tightly. Slowly the panic leeched out of his gaze, and he
squeezed his eyes tightly shut, matching the heightened pressure of his
grip.

He began to breathe again, his breaths coming in time to the

frantic racing of his pulse. Christina wanted to soothe him, tell him that
everything was going to be all right. But something stopped her.
Whether it was the way something in his grasp changed, becoming more
of a caress or the way he drew her toward him or the way his fevered
skin burned through the thin material of her night shirt, Christina
didn't know. She only knew that she would not push him away; she
knew what was coming.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

He ran his hands up her shoulders to frame her face, finding her

lips. She gazed back mutely in the dimness, barely registering the
curious mix of confusion and desperation that marred his features as he
raised his head up off the bed to meet hers.

He was frantic, his lips devouring hers as if she were the very

source of his existence. Christina was powerless to do anything other
than respond passion for passion, drawn along as she was on a wave of
desire like none she'd ever known. Nothing mattered but his touching
her.

"...dreaming," Michael murmured breathlessly in her ear. "I never

want to wake up."

"No dream," Christina responded between his kisses. "I wanted--"

Michael stiffened, and a horrible dread washed over her. "Michael?" she
breathed warily, her blood running cold.

"My God," Michael choked, pushing himself away from her.

"I'm...I...." He didn't finish the sentence, but made his way unsteadily to
his feet. Without another word, he left her alone against the rumpled
bed covers, struggling to keep from crying out at the bloom of pain that
settled itself in the region of her heart.

CHAPTER SIX

Neither Chris or Michael got any more sleep that night. Michael

disappeared into the bathroom, while Christina drew comfort from the
small child who slept in the adjoining room. She sat near his bed and
simply watched him until the dim light of sunrise edged around the
corners of the curtains.

The day was spent outside, trying not to relive those sensuous

moments before Michael had pushed her away. She wasn't the only one
having a bad day; Jason seemed to have picked up her mood and didn't
want to eat his lunch. Rubbing the bottle's nipple temptingly against his
mouth didn't help. The child continued to fuss.

Christina lifted him against her shoulder, gently rubbing his little

back. Maybe he had an air bubble. Jason continued to fuss. She checked

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

his diaper. She could find nothing that should have caused the child's
displeasure.

When she was near giving up, she caught sight of a familiar form

moving toward her. Dressed though he was in casual attire, Oscar
Desmond could be mistaken for no other man. His nearly completely
gray head seemed to glint in the noontime sun.

"Good afternoon," he smiled. "You've certainly chosen a wonderful

place to take a rest."

"Hello," Chris smiled wryly up at him. "Wrestling would be a

better word. But you look refreshed."

Desmond waved a hand in laughter. "Grandchildren will do that

for you," he reached for little Jason, beckoning the child into his arms.
"How's this little fellow doing?"

"Sleepy, I think," Christina said, allowing him to take the child.

"I've tried everything to calm him down, but nothing seems to be
working today."

Oscar cuddled the child close and made a face at him. "Perhaps he

just needs someone to act the clown," he chuckled, continuing the playful
motions with the child as he continued to talk. "To go back to such
innocent times with the knowledge we have now." He shot her a teasing
look. "We'd probably make the same mistakes over again."

Christina shot him a cheeky grin. "Mistakes? Speak for yourself."

"Indeed," Desmond said, sighing. "I wouldn't change a thing."

Chris smiled slightly, her expression troubled. On most days she

would have been inclined to agree with him immediately. But recent
events in her life were giving her second thoughts. Instead, she reached
for an already drowsy Jason, and rose to her feet. "I'd probably better
put this little one down," she said.

"Yes," Desmond watched her curiously, and followed her into the

nursery.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"How many grandchildren do you have?" Chris asked over her

shoulder.

Desmond's face broke into a grin as he fell in step beside her.

"Five, 3 boys, 2 girls."

"Wow. Full house." Chris was amazed.

"Not really," Desmond replied. "I have 3 children. They split the

task."

"Oh," Christina grinned sheepishly. By then they had reached the

nursery. "I would have loved to have had brothers and sisters. Many of
the other kids at school hated it, or so I heard. But I think it would have
been great to know that there was someone else there." She looked
longingly in Jason's direction as she spoke. She wanted for him what she
hadn't had.

Desmond smiled knowingly at her. "I was one of four, and despite

all the fights, I have to agree with you. Through all of the ups and
downs, in the end, we could count on one another."

Chris wanted to ask him more about his childhood. He seemed in a

very relaxed mood, and she felt certain that he would share his stories
with her. "Have you had lunch?" she asked. It would be nice not to have
to take the meal alone.

"Ah, no, I haven't..." He gave her a startled look. Then, glancing

around, "Where is Michael keeping himself these days?"

Christina couldn't prevent the flush that suffused her face at the

mere mention of his name. "In his office, working," she managed to
reply, turning her face idly toward the window.

Desmond was too observant by far. A frown deepened across his

brow. "Working? How long has he been doing that?"

Chris didn't answer right away, feeling decidedly uncomfortable

about ratting out her own spouse. "Just a few days." She thought she'd
made a fair go at nonchalant.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I've only been gone a few days," he replied dryly. "I mean no

disrespect to you Christina, it is simply that he has not fully recovered,
despite what he would like to believe. Has he at least been taking his
medications?"

Christina wasn't sure she could feel more completely in the dark.

"Medications?" she asked.

Desmond released a huge sigh, resting his forehand in his hands.
Looking up, he leaned across to give her a conspiratorial look. "I didn't
feel it was my place to tell you before, but as you are now married, you
have a right to know the details concerning his health. Besides that, I
know a thing or two about circumventing the infamous Raven moods."

Chris smiled wanly at his obvious attempts to ease her feelings,

and lift her mood.

Desmond seemed pleased with that small response. Extending an

arm, he continued. "Shall we go take him on?"

Christina balked, backing a few steps away. "Oh, no, I c-couldn't do
that."

"Why not?" Desmond eyed her.

"Well, just...because." Chris offered ineffectively.

"Just because," Desmond repeated, half to himself, allowing his

arm to drop. A frown settled momentarily over his features.

"I've been with the Raven family a very long time. I knew his

father, you know. I've always felt that I was a part of the family. Michael
and my children grew up alongside one another. I feel as if he were one
of my own. You are now a part of that family, Christina. If you would
ever like to talk, I'll listen."

Christina's eyes misted over slightly at the simplicity and honesty

of his words. She very much wanted to talk to someone about the
conflicting emotions that invaded her heart, but she hadn't even been

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

able to broach the subject with Mabel, merely continuing on as if things
were going along normally.

As Desmond watched and waited, Christina remained silent. She

couldn't do it.

Desmond nodded, accepting. "I'll join you for lunch," he said, "If

you still would like to when I return."

----------

Michael was listening intently as his computer software read the

contents of a new contract for him. Pressing a command, he set the
program to begin again. He was tiring, and had missed most of the last
paragraph. He blinked quickly several times, his eyes felt irritated as
well. Where had Desmond put those drops? He rose his head sharply as
the door opened.

"Ah, so you're hiding out in here, are you?" Desmond's voice.

"So what if I am?" he asked irrationally, as he opened one of the

desk drawers, rifling through its contents.

"You have a lovely young woman out there preparing to have lunch

all by herself. Is that the way you should be acting on your honeymoon?"

"This isn't a real marriage and it isn't a real honeymoon." Michael

shot back, continuing to rummage through the drawer.

"Oh," Desmond said after a few moments. "Then you must be quite

wound up, because I'm positive that I saw a number of your things in
her room."

"Go away and leave me alone," Michael said. He really didn't need

this right now. He had to make it through the rest of the afternoon and
then through dinner and he could get some sleep. He'd start the whole
process all over again the next day.

"What happened, Michael?" Desmond asked quietly. "I would have

thought that you would be compatible."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Michael blew out a breathe. Desmond didn't know the half of it.

The air fairly buzzed when they were in a room together. They were too
compatible by far.

"Things were progressing well when I left. Did she push you away?

Does she intend to end the marriage once the question of custody is
resolved?"

Michael paused in his search, ran a hand through his hair.

"Have you thought to ask her?" Desmond pressed.

"What would be the point?" Michael asked moodily. "What could

she possibly see in me, anyway?"

"If you want to make her wonder that very thing, then by all

means, continue to ignore her."

"I can't ignore her, no matter how hard I try. Even in my dreams,

she haunts me. Do you know that I can see her in my dreams." Michael
threw up his hands with a humorless laugh. "How can I possibly see her

in my dreams?"

"I don't know, Michael," Desmond responded. "I can't answer that

for you."

"Well answer this, then. What could a young woman with her

whole life ahead of her see in me, a thirty-seven year old blind man with
an uncertain future and an even more uncertain past? I can't even
remember why my first wife left me. Hell, I can barely even remember

my first wife. What if she left me for a good reason, Desmond?"

"I know you, Michael. And I remember that time in your life. I

assure you, the memory would not be pleasant for you. I do not believe
she left because of something you did. As for Christina, I think that you

should allow her to make her own decisions. Have a little faith. Better
yet, have lunch. Better still, with Christina."

Michael considered Desmond's words. What did he have to lose?

They certainly couldn't go on like this.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Slowly nodding, he moved to his feet and started around the desk.

"Where you looking for this?" he heard Desmond ask as he neared the
door. A small round bottle was placed in his palm.

"Eye drops?" Michael asked incredulously. "How did you know?"

"The way you were fumbling through that drawer? What else could

it have been? And while you're enjoying the delicious lunch that Erma is
no doubt preparing, be sure to take your medication."

Michael found himself chuckling. "Freedom was good while it

lasted. You sure you don't want another few days?"

CHAPTER SEVEN

Christina sat on the east patio, attempting to enjoy the happy

twittering of the birds and the gentle, sweet scent of Ezra's roses. But
the anxious trip-trip of her heart would not allow her to relax. She was
too afraid of what might be happening between Desmond and Michael--
afraid that it might work; afraid it might fail. What did she want
anyway?

She ran her hands nervously along her arms, hoping to calm

herself before Desmond returned. . . or Michael. Was it possible that
Desmond could work some subtle magic and convince him to put in an
appearance for lunch? Would he be angry? Happy? Would he simply
refuse and tell her that this just wasn't working out?

So caught in her anxiety was she that when a sharp step sounded

against the patio, announcing two new arrivals, she was audibly
startled. Desmond made a production of apologizing, but Michael
remained stiffly silent. Her heart began to sink.

She only partly heard the polite conversation Desmond made about

the weather, and the delicious lunch that they were soon to be served.
Somehow in his diatribe, he managed to convince them that a walk in

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

the garden would be a wonderful thing after lunch, and that he would
not be able to join them because of a few odds and ends that needed to be
taken care of. Whatever else he'd said was completely lost.

Christina found herself watching his retreating back almost before

it had registered that he was leaving. With more than a little
trepidation, she found herself staring across the table at a very silent
Michael Raven. He seemed intensely uncomfortable. And unless she was
confused, he was blinking more than usual. In fact, he was practically
wincing.

After a few moments of tense eye manipulations, he made a soft

sound in the back of his throat and pushed both his hands beneath his
glasses and began to rub at them. The frantic action could not possibly
be good for him.

"Uh, should you be doing that?" Christina felt moved to ask.

Michael's hands stilled, and he blinked brilliantly blue eyes across

at her on reflex. His expression was that of a child who had been caught
red-handed. Christina couldn't help it; she laughed.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, continuing to giggle. "It's just that, for

a moment there. . ."

Michael began to see the humor in the situation, and laughed as

well. "You're right," he told her, placed the heels of his hands over his
eyes as if the action would somehow soothe them. "I really shouldn't be
doing that. But simply having the urge is a good sign."

"Really?" Christina was curious. "Does it mean that your eyes are

healing?"

"It means that chances are better that they can be healed,"

Michael corrected. "It means that certain functions are becoming active
again. The doctors gave me drops for it, but. . . uh. . . It ain't pretty."

"Does it burn?" Christina wanted to know.

"At first," Michael admitted, then turned away in embarrassment.

"I. . .make a mess if I do it myself. I was trying to wait. . ."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Christina breathed a softly empathetic sound. "Let me do it," she

offered. "Just tell me where to find the drops."

Michael seemed to carry on a silent battle, but then smiled ruefully

and felt around in his blazer jacket pocket. "It's here," he told her.

Christina pushed back her chair and moved around the table

toward him. She could feel a mild tension building as she approached
and took the small bottle from his fingers. The only safe place she could
find to stand was behind him.

Michael turned his head slightly at her motions, but said nothing.

He merely rested his hands on his thighs beneath the table.

Reaching upward, she placed her hands on either side of his head

and leaned it back unto her midriff. "I'm gonna remove your glasses,"
she told him, remembering the way her doctors had always spoken.

"Okay," Michael said softly.

Christina's eyes dropped to his mouth as he spoke. And suddenly

she was remembering the way that he had kissed her. The way. . .

She shook herself mentally and reached for his glasses, gently

sliding them from behind his ears. His eyes were closed beneath them.

"Ready?" she whispered.

"Yeah." He opened his lids and blinked several times. Christina

unstopped the small bottle and read the label. Two drop in each eye, it
said. She held it over one of his eyes. The small drops found their mark
and she felt Michael tense beneath her. Both his hands clenched in his
lap.

"Go ahead and do the other one," he said in a strained voice.

Christina obliged him, but she had to hold his eyelid partially open so
that the medicine could penetrate. When she was done, Michael leaned
forward and buried his face in his hands. Then, breathing deeply, he sat
up, wiping away tears.

"That's better," he told her, half out of breath.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Chris felt her own eyes watering in response to his. She reached

unconsciously for a napkin and began wiping his face.

"You don't have--" Michael began.

"I want to," Christina insisted. She carefully patted away the

moisture before gently replacing his glasses. It was a struggle not to
allow her hands to linger there.

"How often do you have to do that?" She asked. The initial

moments of the treatment seemed horribly painful. It was difficult to
watch him struggle with it even for so short a time.

"I'm not sure," Michael's shoulders had slumped slightly. She

wondered if he were tiring. "I haven't felt the need for it until this
morning. The doctors said that it would probably happen soon if there
were any hope. They didn't say how often."

"This is great news, then," Chris said. "It's a positive sign for your

vision!" Why wasn't he more happy about it?

"What if it isn't?" he asked. "What is it's just allergies?"

Chris frowned. "Don't you want to get your vision back? You won't

have to worry about Jason then, or Georgiana, or any of that."

"I want my vision back," Michael said. "More than I can

communicate to you, I want for this to be a temporary condition! It's
practically all I think about. But what if I want it too much?"

"There's nothing wrong with wanting." Chris told him. "There's no

rule that says because you want it you can't have it."

Michael sat stonily across from her. "We can't have everything we

want."

"You know what I've always wanted," Christina began softly.

Michael's features relaxed slightly. "What?"

"I've always wanted a family," she said. "My aunt was very nice,

and she was always there, but I longed to have a mother and a father

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

and brothers and sisters. I always thought it would be so wonderful to be
a part of something like that.

"Jeannie and I made a pact that when we grew up, we would

marry and have lots of children so that our kids wouldn't have to be
alone. So that we could be a part of a 'real' family."

"Is that why you agreed to do this?" Michael asked.

Chris looked up at him, fully prepared to tell him 'no', that she'd

done it simply because she'd wanted the best for Jason. But she realized
that wasn't entirely true.

"Yes, partly," she admitted, realizing what she might be getting

herself in to if he looked for deeper meaning behind her words. "I didn't
think of it then. But, you're right."

Michael was quiet for long moments, then, "Christina, I'm not sure

what you're saying. Did you do this so you could hold onto Jason longer?
Or. . ." he trailed off, not saying the crucial words.

"Both," Christina murmured softly, the word coming out on a

breath.

Michael's mouth opened as if he meant to speak, and then he

closed it. "I--You want to be married. . . to me? For real?"

"Yes," Christina's voice shook slightly as she spoke. "I do."

Michael made a clumsy move to get up from the table. Christina

met him halfway. Nevermind that they were on the patio, under the
noon-day sun for all the world to see. Their arms went about one another
in a crushing embrace. Michael's hands were in her hair and then on her
face and then he found her lips and he kissed her with a desperation
that told her all she needed to know.

Long minutes later, Michael suggested urgently that they go

inside. Christina agreed completely, and without another thought
toward the table bearing two plates of untouched food, led her husband
inside.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

CHAPTER EIGHT

"Dr Ironside, please?" Desmond watched discreetly from the

library window as he awaited his party on the other end of the telephone
link. "Yes, I'll hold."

He would feel no shame when it came to taking care of Michael

Raven, and by extension Christina and Jason Raven. If that meant
peeking at them through half-closed blinds, then so be it. And right then,
things seemed to be going quite nicely for the pair.

A sound on the other end of the phone caught his attention, and he

turned from the window and began to greet the doctor. After exchanging
pleasantries, he informed the doctor of the new development in
Michael's condition.

Ironside was very interested, and made several suggestions, one of

which was an appointment the next day. He asked Desmond if that were
possible. Desmond would have answered in the affirmative, but the view
from the window drove the reply from his mind.

Yes, Michael and Christina were getting along just fine. He made a

mental note to have something special prepared for them.

----------

Michael Raven opened his eyes, and for the first time the darkness

didn't cause him panic. The woman lying in his arms was like sunshine
to his world. He closed his eyes and allowed the sensations to flow over
him.

The smell and sense of her hair against his shoulder meant that it

was unbound, no doubt in a complete disarray. He lifted a hand and
gently stroked it, loving the soft feel of it between his fingers.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

The even rise and fall of her chest suggested that she was sleeping.

Regaining her strength, he hoped. He was recharged enough for the both
of them.

The hand that stroked her hair ran along her shoulder and down

the side of her body, experiencing her feminine curves. Sight unseen,
and he felt that he would know her anywhere. He continued further
down, before making an exploring journey back up. Before he'd gotten
very far, to his delight, Christina was beginning to stir.

He knew the moment she looked at him and remembered, took

delight in her slightly indrawn breath when his fingers passed over a
particularly sensitive point on her neck.

"You're so beautiful," he told her, again tasting her lips. Her arms

went up and around his neck, welcoming him, loving him, drawing him
home.

----------

Christina woke first the next time feeling pleasantly rested. She

remained still for a few moments, simply enjoying the experience of
laying cradled against Michael's chest. But nature could not be held off
any longer. Moving carefully, so as not to disturb him, she got out of the
bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

When she returned, Michael lay spread eagled on the over-sized

bed, the lower half of his body partially covered by flowered sheets. A
rush of affection washed over her as she gazed at him, looking so
innocently abandoned with hiss dark hair mussed and an evening
shadow beginning to appear on his jaw.

Christina felt the urge to run her hands along the rough surface,

realizing with wonder that she could. This passionate, attractive, caring
man was truly her husband, and little Jason was truly her son. She
finally had the family she had always wanted.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Smiling, she looked beyond the man on the bed toward the room

that was the nursery. Jason lay beyond that door, sleeping. . . .
Suddenly, Christina began to realize how late it had become. Glancing at
the clock as if to confirm her suspicions, she was stunned at the time.
Five hours had passed since she and Michael had left the patio! All she
could think of was Jason.

With a panicked gasp, she grabbed a robe and tore through the

nursery door. The crib was empty, and the room was dim. But not so
dim that she couldn't make out the metal serving cart that sat in the
middle of the floor.

Frowning slightly, she approached the cart, and carefully lifted the

lid. Beneath it was a large assortment of breads, cheeses, fruits and
sandwiches. Attached to the small basket of cheeses was a note that had
been signed with Desmond's hand, offering his services as 'grandpa' for
the evening. There was a post script about beverages chilling in the
lower portions of the cart.

Christina was undone. She didn't know how to feel about the man's

high-handed manner. But when she had run the gamut from
embarrassment to gratitude, she decided to smile and enjoy the gift that
had been offered. Scrolling a quick 'thanks' across the bottom of the
note, she placed it into the crib, careful to set it where Desmond would
see it immediately if he entered through the door that connected the
nursery to the hallway.

The quiet rattle of the cart being pushed into the bedroom, drew

Michael into wakefulness. Feeling around on the bed, he called out to
Christina.

"Over here," she told him, then laughingly filled him in on what

Desmond had done. Michael sighed and laughingly shook his head at the
older man's tactics. Then Christina sought a place to set up the food
while Michael answered a call from nature of his own.

----------

Michael stepped into the bedroom amidst Christina's warning to

not move. He froze to the spot, wondering if something was the matter.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Okay, let me."

Michael felt her fingers close around his as she led him carefully

around the perimeter of... something. Then he realized the food smells
were coming from a lot lower level than he might have expected.

"A picnic?" he asked, mildly surprised. It wasn't a bad idea. And

considering where he wanted to end up fairly soon, he was liking the
idea better and better. He obediently followed Chris's instructions on
where to sit, taking note of the areas he was to avoid.

It didn't take them long to consume the food and Champagne,

even, that had been prepared for them. They talked and laughed over
the meal, thoroughly enjoying the unorthodox manner in which it was
served. He owed Desmond another one.

He sat, leaning against the side of the bed, listening as Chris told

him about a silly misadventure from her childhood. He could hear her
absently clearing away the remnants as she spoke.

He found himself smiling bemusedly at her naivete. Even then, as

a woman of 25, she was still naïve in her own way. She obviously
believed in 'happy-ever-after'. He wondered that she might someday
make him believe it too.

After those dark days that had proceeded his waking from his

accident, and the nebulous dark days that had taken place before the
accident, he wasn't sure that he could ever have a happy ending. He had
felt himself doomed to an ever deepening spiral of depression and
frustration.

And then he had met Christina and almost immediately formed a

helpless attraction to her. Despite the 'hands off' policy that he'd
inflicted upon himself, it had still helped to know that she was there.
And of course there was Jason. His son. He so wanted to see the little
boy that was his own flesh and blood; that everyone said looked so much
like him.

And now there were signs that his vision might be repairable.

Perhaps there was a happy ending in the works for him, after all.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Almost as if the thought of his eyes brought on the itchiness and
irritation, he felt a few twinges beginning behind his lids.

If it proceeded like it had earlier in the day, there wouldn't be too

much longer before he wouldn't be able to ignore it. Making
surreptitious motions with lids in the hopes of easing his discomfort, he
lost track of what Christina was saying.

When the room fell silent, he paused, hoping that whatever it was

that it wasn't overly important.

"It's happening again, isn't it?" Christina asked knowingly. He

hadn't exactly been trying to hide it, he just wasn't ready to do battle
with those eye drops.

"Unfortunately," he admitted. "At least we have a time ratio, now."

"Seven hours," Chris told him. "It's been about seven hours since

your last dosage." He could feel her reaching past him as she spoke, and
one side of her robe brushed along his bare shoulder.

"Ready?" she asked, her voice coming from slightly above.

"No," he answered honestly. "And I know you didn't sign on for

this, taking care of me and everything. So, I'm--"

"But I did sign on for this," Christina said earnestly, reaching for

his hand and gently squeezing. "I want to help." And then he could hear
a smile and a tremulous quality in her voice. "Families, remember?"

Michael felt something swell within himself. "Yes, I remember.

We're a family." How he wished he could see her just then.

A moment later, he felt Christina's robe brush him again as she

stepped over his legs and straddled him. That certainly got his
attention. Almost of their own volition his hands began to wander.

Christina tsked him. "Medicine first," she said.

Michael put up a mild fuss. "Not even a kiss for strength?' he

asked, teasingly.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"No, no, no," Christina told him. "If we start kissing, I'm not going

to want to stop. Now be still."

"Yes ma'am," he obliged, privately warmed by her words. Any low

self esteem on his part was quickly going out of the window with
Christina around.

He moved his head obediently as she pushed it back unto the bed.

The meds went in more quickly this time, but the pain was equal. The
drops went into his eyes like burning liquid spears. His entire body
tensed, frozen in a struggle against the immediate agony.

But then he felt Christina's hands on either side of his face, and

then her lips were on his, gently coaxing a response. He could do little
else. Lifting his head from the bed so that he was sitting up properly, he
slid his hands inside of her robe, making them both forget that anything
existed outside of the cocoon that they had created for themselves.

CHAPTER NINE

Chris left Jason cooing happily in his playpen while she

straightened the bedroom, clearing away the remnants of the previous
evening's activities. She rolled the large silver cart into the kitchen,
hoping desperately that no one would be present and that she would be
able to leave the thing unseen.

The cart rolled smoothly from the service hallway into the main

kitchen area, its motions covered by the sound of oldies music trickling
from the kitchen sound system. Feeling very much the coward, Chris
stopped just short of the door and poked her head into the room. Empty.
But the bowls on the counter, as well as several measuring utensils and
cooking odds and ends suggested that this would not be the state of
events for very long.

Chris almost tripped over herself pushing the cart to the middle of

the floor and turning to make a hasty retreat. A cheery, "Mornin'
Christina!" stopped her in her tracks.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Her heart fell and her face flushed deep ruby. It was bad enough

that the entire household knew what she and Michael had been doing for
the better part of the day, yesterday. But, now, only barely adjusted to
her situation, she was going to have to face Ruth, the most outspoken
member of the household first.

Chris turned slowly, grimly, feeling as though she were to face a

firing squad, and pasted what she hoped was a pleasant good morning
smile on her face. To her utter amazement, Ruth wasn't even looking at
her, but had taken hold of the cart and was moving it toward the sink
area. As she went, she managed to simultaneously chastise and thank
Chris for bringing the cart back.

Feeling mildly guilty for her previous thoughts, Chris told her

honestly that it was no bother and that the food had been wonderful.

Ruth, making a big show of clearing off the cart, laughed heartily

and told her that since the compliment properly belonged to Erma, she
would gladly accept. Erma got enough of the good food compliments as it
was!

Chris smiled, and found herself relaxing, thinking Ruth a doll for

her sensitivity. If her thank you was a little more heartfelt as she turned
to leave, it was because she was beginning to realize truly what a gem of
a household staff Michael had. It was no wonder that most of them had
been there for many years.

"Christina," Ruth called her back before she could pass through the

doorway.

"Yes?" Christina turned, mildly confused at the quietness to the

normally boisterous woman's tone.

"Thank you," Ruth smiled gently at her. Her gaze was warm as she

held Chris's for several moments before returning to her scrubbing of
the cart.

Christina stood confused for several beats. Jason's happy babbling

piped through the baby monitor that she'd strapped to her waist, and
filtered across her mind. "You're welcome," she finally managed.
Perhaps Ruth really appreciated her bringing back the cart.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Ruth shook her head amusedly. "You don't even know why, do you?

Well, I'll tell you why. For making him happy. It's been so long since
we've seen him smile, even before he was sick. This morning, he was
laughing."

Chris looked away, embarrassed at the unexpected compliment.

"Jason. . . " she murmured, unwilling to subscribe such credit to herself.

Ruth disagreed. "Of course a baby always brightens a home, and

your little Jason has surely done that. But you Christina, you've
brightened its heart. He's very tender just now, but I know that with
your loving touch you will treat him kindly."

"Oh, Ruth. That's what I want to do," she said, the words a

wavering breathy exhalation. As she stared mistily at the other woman,
sporting a goofy smile, she realized just how true her automatic words
were.

"Aww shucks," Ruth gave up on an attempt to conceal her own

watering eyes. With quick strides, she approached Chris and engulfed
her in a hearty hug, before firmly but politely kicking her out of the
kitchen.

----------

Michael settled tiredly into the passenger seat of his car with

Desmond's aid. Back to back doctor's visits had left him exhausted.
Releasing a breath, he rested his head back against the cushioned rest,
and closed his eyes.

An easy listening station flowed softly through the speakers when

Desmond started the car. Michael heard him turn the device off with a
distinct click.

"No," he raised a hand. "You can leave it on. I'm awake."

There was a gentle chuckle in Desmond's voice when he replied.

"You certain? Jasper Keaton would love to know that he tired you out."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I'll bet he would," Michael laughed along with his friend. The

deep-voiced physical therapist had seemed determined to make him beg
for mercy during their session. Michael felt that he could hardly blame
the man--he had been such a space case that morning. It was probably
the only way Jasper could get his attention as he had been so
preoccupied with Christina that he had found it difficult to focus on
much else.

His tendency toward distractedness seemed all the impetus Jasper

needed to give him an extra difficult work out. But in the end, there had
been good news. Jasper had declared him no longer in need of his
services, and prescribed exercises at home. A fact for which Michael was
eternally grateful and he told Desmond so.

"You have made remarkable improvement," Desmond responded.

"But that doesn't mean that you need to immediately jump back into
your old schedule. And of course, you'll need to continue your walks,
although, I'd imagine that you'll want a different companion."

Michael tried to cover a grin at Desmond's attempt at subtlety. "I

imagine I will," he agreed. Then, turning more serious. "I don't know if I
thanked you before," he began, not knowing quite how to finish.

"Your happiness is thanks enough," Desmond replied softly,

understanding. "She's a lovely girl. I believe that under her careful
ministrations you can truly heal. I could not have chosen better myself,
actually."

Michael rolled his eyes, and gave a longsuffering sigh. "I never

noticed what a romantic you are, Desmond."

"Oh, I'm a lot of things." Desmond's reply was dry. "Chief among

them is your schedule keeper. So, I hate to bring this up but the hearing
with Ms. Stanton is scheduled for next week. Your appointment with
your attorney is this afternoon. Are you up to it?"

Michael sighed. "I supposed I'll have to be. Although, as the

doctor's prognosis on my vision has improved, I think that her case will
be weakened. But then again, Georgiana seems the type who always has
something up her sleeve."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I won't argue that statement."

"Tell me, Desmond. Was Jeannie anything at all like her?" Michael

felt compelled to ask. Though his psyche was more at peace than it had
been in a long while, the uncertainty about his life with Jeannie
remained hauntingly in the back of his mind.

Desmond seemed to mull the question for several moments before

speaking. "No," he said finally. "She wasn't like Georgiana, but there
was always something mysterious about her; something that she wasn't
willing to share."

Michael nodded. "Were we very much in love?"

"You were."

Michael blinked, not sure he wanted to hear more. But he pressed

on. "I was?"

Desmond chose his words carefully. "I think the important factor

was the time in which she came into your life. You remember how
precarious the company was after your father and grand father died. It
took years of hard work for you to overcome those losses. You did that
Michael. I watched you work yourself to the brink of exhaustion
everyday trying to make it work.

"And then, one day, you were there, you'd succeeded. But you

didn't know how to slow down. And then you met Jeannie. I must admit,
you and I weren't quite the great speaking companions that we are
now." Desmond chuckled. "So, I really wasn't aware of all of the details.
But she filled a place in your life. And for a time, you seemed happy."

"Both of us were happy?" Michael wanted to know. Why couldn't he

remember what had gone wrong?

"I regret that I never came to know Jeannie very well," Desmond

said. "She was rather a quiet sort, and you doted on her. And she
seemed to depend very much on you. Near the end, though, she was
more quiet than usual. I wonder now in retrospect if she weren't afraid
of something."

Michael frowned. "What would she have had to be afraid of?"

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Nothing, that I am aware of," Desmond replied. "It was just a

thought out loud, nothing more."

Michael nodded and sighed. "So, she was different from Christina,

then?"

"Yes, very much so." Desmond's answer came more quickly.

"Christina is very caring, open, and nurturing, yet independent, capable,
steady. I like her very much."

Michael chuckled. "Really? I hadn't noticed. Although, I don't know

very many women who'd want their stand-out qualities to be
capableness and steadiness."

"Well, she is quite lovely as well," Desmond said. "And, I believe

that she likes you very much. Or at least she seems to tolerate your
company admirably," Desmond teased.

Michael couldn't hold back a smile. "I like her very much, too."

"And eventually something more?" Desmond pressed shamelessly.

"Someday soon, my great speaking companion," Michael admitted

softly. Then, realizing what he'd just said, he cleared his throat and
quickly changed the subject. "What time is the appointment?"

Desmond chuckled, not one to be put off so easily. "Oh there's

plenty of time before you'll have to be there. Just enough time I think for
a nice long lunch."

----------

Chris ran into her bedroom, carefully coddling Jason in one arm.

The phone was ringing, and though she normally let it ring if she was
feeding Jason, she was hoping that this call was from Michael. He had
been gone all morning, and she was beginning to wonder when he would
be returning. His doctor's appointments in the past had not taken so
long.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

She carefully cupped the receiver against her shoulder and shifted

Jason to her other arm and uttered a decidedly breathy 'hello' into the
phone. Several moments of silence greeted her.

"Hello?" She tried again.

The sound on the other end of the line so surprised her that she

forgot to put the bottle into Jason's mouth. The little boy fussed and
whimpered, letting her know his displeasure at her lapse. She quickly
put the bottle into place, and answered the caller.

"Yes, Georgiana. This is Christina, and as a matter of fact I was

expecting someone else."

"Mmm," Georgie seemed to enjoy that bit of information. "So

married life is going well, then? I have it on good authority that he's--"

"Is there something I can help you with?" Christina cut her off. She

did not want to embark on a war with this woman. All she wanted to do
was protect Jason, after that, Georgiana's business was her own.

"Actually, dear. I called to ask a little favor. You see, I've been

missing my grandson, and I merely wanted to pick him up to take him
on an outing."

"No." Chris's response was reflexive. "I don't think that's such a

good idea. Besides, he's having lunch right now and will be going down
for his nap soon."

Georgie laughed a dry, forced sounding cackle. "I didn't mean

today, dear. I was simply speaking in loose terms. Perhaps we can plan
something--you and I together."

"I--I don't know. . ." Chris didn't like this at all. Georgie was the

child's grandmother. But, odds were, she wouldn't be good for him. Chris
felt in her heart that the woman was up to something, but she couldn't
figure what it was.

"Oh, come on," Georgie coaxed. "Michael won't mind. He wouldn't

even have to know a thing about it. Or are you playing the little servant
to his master?"

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Georgiana--"

"Don't fall for it," Georgie continued. "He'll do you just like he did

Jeannie. He'll take what he wants and then he'll move on."

"That's not true," Chris denied the woman's cruel statements.

"We're a family." Georgie was simply angry because she wasn't getting
her way quite so easily.

Georgie burst into laughter. "Oh you poor little unsophisticated

country mouse, you. Do you really think that after he gets his vision
back he'll remain with you? You are completely not his type. Do some
research, dear. Michael Raven dated only the most sophisticated, the
most worldly of the female species. I taught my Jeannie to be that way
so that she could catch him. But in the end, it did her no good. He threw
her away just like he does all the rest."

Christina couldn't listen anymore. "I'm going to hang up now,

Georgiana."

"You do that. But remember what I--"

Click.

Christina settled the receiver back into its cradle, and breathed

through the initial pain and uncertainty that swept her. Michael wanted
to be a family, too. She had seen it in the way that he touched and held
her, in the way that he held Jason. But had he ever said it? He had said
it. . . hadn't he?

She looked down at the baby in her arms. His motions had stilled

and his eyes, so like Michael's, had drifted shut in sleep. It was time to
put him down. But then what would she do? Would she take Georgie's
advice and spy on her husband? Or would she simply trust in what her
heart told her?

Moving slowly, almost reluctantly, she took the child into the

nursery. When she returned to her room, her eyes caught the keys to her
car sitting on the bedside table. She hadn't driven it since the day that
Michael had given it to her, nearly two weeks earlier.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

She could very easily look into the phone book and find a library.

But what if she found that Georgiana was right? What if he had only
dated 'the best'? Then what? Would she simply leave? Give up? Would
she stay, knowing what the odds were?

Her mind in an utter turmoil, she settled on the edge of the bed

and buried her face in her hands. What could she do? It was too late for
her. She'd gone and fallen in love with Michael Raven. She'd given him
her heart, and if that meant she had to walk a painful mile later, then so
be it. She would enjoy what she had, while she had it. She would--

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of laughing just

outside of the door. The knob turned slowly then, and in stepped the
subject of her mental anguish. A wide smile was spread across his
features. She was sure that if he weren't wearing dark glasses his eyes
would be dancing with humor.

As he entered the quietness of the room though, his smile faltered.

"Christina?" he called uncertainly.

CHAPTER TEN

Christina stared, frozen to the spot by guilt and uncertainty as

Michael's smile faded to a frown. Sitting quietly while he called out to
her felt dishonest, cruel even. Christina couldn't do it, even in the face of
her desperate need of a few more minutes alone so that she could think,
could sort through the ugly accusations that Georgiana had made.

"I'm here," she said, reaching out to his grasping hands.

"Is everything all right?" He asked, turning his head down toward

her as if actively seeking a glimpse of her. His hand tightened
convulsively about hers when she took a moment too long to respond.

"Things are fine," Christina managed, sounding breathless to her

own ears. Why oh why couldn't she pull it together? Hadn't she decided
that she would stay and love him no matter the outcome? She needed

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

only to shove those cruel words aside and put on a smiling front. She
could do it. She would do it. But that was dishonest too, wasn't it?

"Are you sure?" Michael's hesitant words interrupted her

tormenting thoughts. His hands were concerned, gentle as he slid them
along her arms and up to her shoulders.

Chris stiffened, and a mild panic fluttered through her heart.

Should he bring his hands to her face, he would surely feel the wetness
there. How could she explain the reason for her tears? Almost
subconsciously, the took a self-preserving step back and blurted
something about how wonderful a morning that Jason had, hoping that
the words would somehow conceal the motion.

It didn't work. Michael was left standing, his hands still

outstretched toward her. A curious little frown marred his brow before
he slowly allowed his arms to drop to his sides. The small flicker of pain
that crossed over his features stabbed Christina to her heart. Oh, if only
Ruth could see her now, she would no longer think that she was a
blessing to this household. Michael Raven was doing anything but
smiling now.

"Why did you pull away?" He finally spoke, subdued.

Christina swallowed, wondering that herself. Why hadn't she done

something different? Hurriedly scrubbed at her checks; burrowed her
face in his jacket? Put on that elusive happy face?

Michael didn't wait for her answer. "Have you ever heard the

phrase: 'reassured by a glance'?" he asked.

Christina stared across at him, utterly lost. "I think so, yes," she

murmured. Her self-deprecating thoughts were put on hold as she tried
to puzzle out where he was going.

"I can't glance at you," Michael explained quietly. "I can't look at

you. I can't stare in your eyes and gain a clue as to what you're feeling. I
can't reassure you with a glance, Christina, and I can't be reassured by
yours."

Chris nodded, her eyes again filling at the earnestness and

pleading behind his tone. When he reached a questing hand toward her,

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

she grasped it, drawn along by the spell he was weaving with his words
and emotion.

As their fingers touched, he continued speaking but making no

attempt to draw her nearer. "But I am reassured by your touch. It helps
me to know you, to feel you, see you. Love you," his voice dropped to a
whisper and Christina felt herself melting, affected beyond words.

"I'm reassured by your touch, Christina and I'd like to reassure

you with mine." His hand closed more fully around hers, warm and
caressing. With a gentle tug he urged her closer. Christina went with
little resistance, for she hadn't any against this man.

Almost from the minute she'd set eyes on him, she realized with

sudden clarity, she had felt an indefinable pull toward him. Perhaps it
was because he was Jason's father at first, but then, when she had
talked with him, his situation had tugged at her heart drawing out a
myriad nurturing instincts that she hadn't even tried to explain, much
less acknowledge. And so she'd followed him here to his home.

But Michael Raven wasn't a child in need in nurturing, he was a

man in need of reassuring, maybe a little help for the moment, but most
of all he was a man in need of loving. The loving she could do, for her
heart was irretrievably wrapped up with his, his needs, his wants.
Loving him, this she would do--for the rest of her life.

And for her first test: "Please tell me what's bothering you."

Michael's softly spoken words entered the haze that had settled around
her mind. Such longing and vulnerability colored his tone that Christina
wondered how she could ever have allowed Georgiana Stanton even a
minute of her worry. She trusted Michael. His happiness was important
to her. She gently squeezed his hand.

"It was nothing," she told him, sniffing past her tears and meaning

it. "Georgiana called, and I was foolish enough to let her get to me.
That's all. I'm so sorry I pulled away, Michael. I just didn't want to upset
you."

"Oh, Christina," Michael's arms closed around her and his chin

rested on the top of her head. "Upset me. If something bothers you, then

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

it is our problem. Always know that you can come to me. I promise I'll
try to listen."

Chris sniffed again and chuckled a little. "This from the man

determined to learn from consequences. Consequences which would have
meant that he had to wander through the house in the nude?"

Chris could feel the grin that burst across his face like sunshine.

"I'm told I have a cute bottom."

Chris sputtered with laughter, but she certainly didn't refute his

statement. "Sounds to me like you're digging for compliments, Mr.
Raven."

"Oh, I'm definitely digging for something, Mrs. Raven," Michael

said, drawing back so that he could kiss her, soft and lingering.

"Mmm. More." Chris leaned into him. Michael seemed more than

happy to oblige. Unfortunately, a discreet tap at the door interrupted.

Michael sighed, moving to settle his face against the side of her

neck. "That would be lunch. And then I have another appointment." He
then began to plant little kisses there.

"Really?" Chris had to force herself to concentrate around the way

his lips were affecting her. There was also a healthy shot of
disappointment in her tone. It seemed that they'd only truly just found
one another, but the honeymoon was over already.

"Yeah," Michael told her, sounding non-too-happy about it himself.

Sighing resignedly, he straightened away from her and allowed Chris to
lead him out of the door. "It's an appointment with our attorney. The
hearing with Georgiana Stanton is next week."

"Oh," Chris answered, suppressing the tiny pang of guilt that arose

at the mention of the woman's name. She vowed never to let the woman
interfere with her relationship again. "Will it be a very long
appointment?"

"I don't know," Michael told her. "This is new territory for me,

although Greenbaum has been more than competent whenever I've
needed him."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Is there a chance that she might win?" Christina wanted to know.

She couldn't understand how any just government could take a child
from loving parents and turn him over to a grandparent that he didn't
know. But then, she'd read of stranger things happening.

"Not a very good one," Michael told her. Whatever he might have

added was cut off as they had reached the small patio where they'd
lunched the previous day. Michael settled across from her, in the same
position. Only today, his expression was clear and happy, devoid of the
dark, haunted look he'd worn the past few days.

Chris quickly told him the position of each food item, wondering at

the difference a day of loving made. She was drawn out of her happy
thoughts as Michael continued to speak.

"Since, I am no longer a single, blind, possibly recovering father,"

and a small smile lit his face at that, "as well as a few other reasons. The
odds are greatly in our favor."

Chris noted that this was the second time he had said 'our' in the

past few minutes. She liked it. "Other reasons?" she asked. Hadn't he
pretty much covered them all?

Michael responded by reaching into his jacket pocket and

withdrawing a small eye drop container. Chris wondered briefly if he
was seeking a replay of the previous noon, or even that morning. Her
heart fluttered when she remembered the things that they had done
after that most recent dosage.

Since he wasn't showing any of the signs that she had come to

relate with his eyes being irritated, and because he was wearing a sly
little half-grin, not to mention the fact that she couldn't get the
seductive images out of her mind, either, Chris wondered if something
else were going on. Still, she asked the obvious question.

"Are your eyes bothering you?"

"No," Michael shook his head and waited placidly as if that were

all the information that were needed.

"You want the drops, anyway?" Chris asked, her tone mildly

teasing.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Well, if you'd like. . ." Michael murmured suggestively, his mind

obviously traveling the same path. "Especially if having you dropper me
is the only way a man can get--"

"Michael!" Chris laughed at him, loving the smile that he couldn't

quite suppress.

"Okay, okay," Michael relented. "I visited the doctor this morning.

He says that these drops won't be as painful as the others. And, for the
reason why things should not go in Georgiana Stanton's favor: The
doctors are very confident that a newly approved technique can help me
regain my sight. If all goes well, I'll be having the surgery in ten days."

"Oh Michael! Oh, that's so wonderful!" Chris rounded the table and

hugged his neck. "Why didn't you tell me as soon as you came in?" The
words were barely out of her mouth before she remembered what had
happened as soon as he had come in.

Michael chuckled, politely not reminding her of it. "Because I love

your surprised reaction," he told her instead, pulling her back close
when she would have returned to her side of the table. He maneuvered
his chair back and pulled her down onto his lap.

"Let's go for a walk," Michael suggested when they came up for air

long minutes later. "Otherwise, there's no way I'm going to make it to
that appointment." Before they rose from the table, however, he leaned
carefully around his plate and selected a daisy from the centerpiece that
had been placed on the table and offered it to Christina.

Christina was touched. She thanked him in a way that put off their

walk by another few minutes.

Later, as they strolled along the area known as the East Pond,

Chris twirled the daisy lazily between her fingers. She laughed at the
antics of a family of ducks who frolicked in the afternoon sun. Michael
surprised her by telling her all of their names.

"It's been a tradition since I was a boy," he confided. "I can't tell

you which name belongs to whom, but there they are."

"You'll be able to tell me that someday," Chris assured him,

squeezing his arm.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"I want to," Michael stopped and turned toward her. "I want to be

able to look you in the eyes and tell you so many things."

Chris looked up at him, and her heart did a little flip-flop at the

intensity with which he spoke.

He traced his hands up her arm and shoulders, around her neck

and into her hair. He gently tangled his fingers in the warm mass. "I
love your hair this way," he said and brought several strands to his lips,
his nostrils. "Lovely."

Replacing her hair, he found her lips.

"Appointment," Chris reminded him half-heartedly, a few minutes

later.

"Right," he said, kissing her again. "We should reschedule."

"Michael. . . "

CHAPTER ELEVEN

As it happened, Michael did make his appointment that afternoon,

and Christina joined him. After that, she accompanied he and Desmond
for most of his appointments. On occasion they also took Jason.

Michael continued to work from his office, conferencing with the

managers that had automatically taken command of his company when
he had fallen ill. But the time was still limited to 5 hours a day as he
was still recovering his strength. Christina felt that he was thriving,
though she didn't put it quite that way during her bi-weekly
conversation with Mabel.

"I'm going to have to get out your way again so I can see that

baby," Mabel's voice was echoing along the phone line. "I'll bet he's
grown like a li'l weed."

"Yeah, he has," Christina admitted with a laugh as she watched

the object under discussion gnawing happily at a chunky little dinosaur

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

that Desmond had found someplace. She'd settled so into her life with
Michael that she was amazed at how much time had passed. Nearly five
weeks to the day since she'd met Michael Raven.

"Mmmm." Mabel murmured. "I'm not surprised. He's going to be a

tall one like his father. You mark my words. Speaking of which. How is
Michael getting on these days?"

"He's. . . fine," Chris said, unable to suppress a goofy grin as she

recalled his affectionate nature, and the many ways he'd displayed it of
late. It took several moments before she realized that Mabel was
speaking.

'I'm sorry, Mabel. What was that?" she asked.

"I said good." Mabel told her. "For a while there I was a little

worried about you."

That caught Christina by surprise. "Why?" She'd never mentioned

much about Michael in her previous conversations with Mabel since
they'd married. She'd thought she'd hid her discontent fairly well.

"Don't you know yet that you can't hide things from old Mabel? I

tell you, you young people never learn." The woman's teasing tone
turned more serious. "Are things really good between the two of you,
Chris? An old woman needs reassuring from time to time."

"I love him, Mabel," Chris blurted the pure, unadulterated truth.

Why indeed should she try to hide the fact? "So much so that if we were
to part, I don't think my life would ever, ever be the same."

"Love does have that affect on one," Mabel said gleefully. "I'm so

happy for you Christina. I truly am."

Christina laughed happily. "Thanks Mabel. It means a lot to me.

Tomorrow, we'll have the hearing with Georgiana over custody. I'm
really nervous about it, but our lawyer believes that she doesn't stand a
chance." Chris was practically bursting with the rest of her news. Mabel
told her that she would be praying for the both of them during the
hearing, and on the day Michael was to have his surgery.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

The conversation lasted several minutes longer, during which

Mabel asked after Michael's mother and caught Christina up on the
town's happenings. Things plodded on predictably it seemed in
McAllister. There was reassurance in that.

----------

Christina filed out of the courtroom behind Michael, his lawyer,

and Desmond--the judge's words still ringing in her ears. Judge Edward
William Forte of Greenich District court number 3 had granted
Georgiana Stanton supervised visitation at the Raven domicile.
Christina felt as if a raptor had been granted access to her home. She
was stunned. Worse, her own conversation with Georgiana, in which she
had told the woman that she would not meet her; the very conversation
in which Georgiana had tried to undermine Chris's marriage to the
child's father, had been used against them. Chris simply didn't know
what to do.

The group exited the court area Michael and Greenbaum were

speaking in low tones. Greenbaum promised to do what he could to have
the decision changed, but for the time being he suggested that Michael
heed the judge's ruling.

"I know. I will." Michael nodded grimly. "Thank you for all your

help Phillip."

"Sure." Greenbaum nodded, resting a hand briefly on Michael's

shoulder before turning to leave with a nod toward Christina and
Desmond.

"Shall I bring the car around?" Desmond announced into the

silence that followed.

"Yes, Desmond. That would be wonderful. Thank you." Michael

responded tiredly. Christina automatically moved to his side, giving him
her arm.

"I'm sorry, Michael," were Christina's first words since they had

left the courtroom. She should have known that Georgiana was up to
something more when she'd called. Hadn't her own daughter said that
she was not to be trusted?

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Whatever for?" Michael asked her. "If it had been me she'd called,

I would have told her no as well." Then, "You never did tell me what the
rest of the conversation was about."

"It was nothing important," Christina reiterated, as she had

earlier. "It was just a cruel woman's attempt to destroy something
beautiful."

"Well, we have to give her credit for being persistent," Michael

said. "Give her credit and never forget it."

Chris nodded, though knowing that he couldn't see her. Georgiana

Stanton was proving herself a force to reckoned with.

----------

Angela Kater spritzed cleaning solution along the glass display

cases that sat along wall of Elise's Old Time Gift Shop, and quickly
wiped it away. Then, as she stood back to admire the effect, the jangling
of the door chime caught her ear.

The reflection in the shining glass so surprised her that she had to

turn around to be sure that her eyes weren't playing tricks on her.

"Great day in the morning! If it isn't Larry Moore, in the flesh!

When did you get back in these parts?" Angie's brain practically buzzed
with the all the information she had to impart.

"Late last night," was Larry's friendly reply. "The mapping team

decided to take a little break on account of the weather, you know.
Thought I'd stop back around town, see how things are going."

"Oh, they go," Angie said, anxious to be done with the pleasantries.

"And your father?"

"Same." Larry shrugged. "So," he leaned across the counter toward

her. "Since when did you start running the shop during the week?"
Though his gaze was friendly enough, Angie could tell that beneath the
surface he sensed that something was wrong. He'd probably caught

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

murmurings from his father and was seeking to check out the story for
himself.

"Oh, since almost two months ago when Chris left."

"Right," Larry nodded. "With the blind fellow and the kid."

"Uh huh," Angie said, smiling patiently.

"I thought she was supposed to be back by now. I called her twice,

but she never called me back."

"Well, there was a little change of plan," Angie informed him.

"Change of plan?" Larry sighed, tiring of the game. "Spill it Ange. I

know you know the whole story. I want to know what is going on with
my fiancée."

"Fiancée?!" Angie's jaw practically hit the floor. It took a full

second before she could speak. "Well, that's certainly a surprise, but I
don't think there is going to be a wedding--at least not between you and
Chris."

"And why is that?" Larry asked irritably.

"Because her last name is Raven now," Angie said, "And unless

you're thinking of polygamy, it ain't gonna happen." It was Larry's turn
to stare slack-jawed at Angie.

----------

Christina was a wreck. Her nerves on edge, she moved to gather a

very whiny Jason Michael Raven into her arms. The child calmed
considerably when she held him-but continued to be irritable.
Unfortunately, she couldn't hold him. She still had to get herself
dressed, after having spent twenty minutes or so getting Jason ready.

Michael had left not long before, his demeanor tense and aloof. In

part, his own attitude was rubbing off on Christina, and probably little
Jason as well. As Christina gently bounced the little boy on her hip, she
mulled through the things that had to be done.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Michael's first scheduled surgery was to be the next morning. The

procedure would be an involved one and would require an overnight stay
in the hospital. Every medical detail had been planned for. Despite
assurances, Michael was stressed over the situation. To make matters
worse, Georgiana would be having her first supervised visitation in less
than 30 minutes. Something that Chris was completely unprepared for,
and she felt, the true nature of the majority of the stress that was taking
place in the little room. Quite simply, no one knew what Georgiana
would do next.

Somehow between Jason's crying and the ringing of the phone,

Chris did manage to get dressed. With Jason settled down to a restless
sleep, and Georgiana due to arrive any minute, Christina turned toward
her phone to see if the last caller had left a message.

There was one message and it was from Angie Kater. Chris was a

little surprised at that since she had spoken with the woman the day
before. But, as Angie's words began to sink in, Chistina found new
reason to be stressed.

Larry Moore, it seemed, was back. And he wasn't happy.

Chris glanced nervously at the receiver. She needed to talk to

Angie to find out exactly how unhappy was. Larry was no doubt back at
his father's place. She could just call him, explain the situation. She
really should have at least written him about her marriage to Michael,
but she'd thought that after their last conversation everything was
settled.

Decision made, she picked up the receiver. She would call. A

light tap at the door interrupted her motion. She quickly replaced the
receiver and moved toward the door.

On the opposite side stood Georgiana Stanton carrying a shopping

bag with gaily wrapped packages poking out. A formally aloof Desmond
nodded briefly before turning away.

"Oh, he's sleeping," Georgiana observed, glancing briefly at Jason

before allowing her eyes to trail over the room. Her gaze lingered over
Michael's glasses, but she made no comment.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"He's had a fussy morning," Christina told her, hoping beyond hope

that this meeting could be kept civilized. "Would you like me to take
your bag?"

"Yes," Georgiana made a face before handing the bag over. The

large one is for Jason, of course and the smaller for you and Michael. I
need did quite get to congratulate you on your wedding. He always was
one to make up his mind quickly."

Chris wandered what she'd meant by that but would not allow

herself to ask. Instead she invited the woman to take a seat in one of the
two armchairs that she'd had moved into the room for just this purpose.
She and Michael had decided to limit Georgiana's access to the house as
much as possible. And unfortunately, the weather had decided not to
cooperate, delivering rainy gray skies where sunshine was sorely
needed.

"Why don't you go ahead and open them," Georgie waved a hand.

"It's not as if the child is going to open his himself."

"All right," Chris shrugged and pulled the package from the bag.

The flat box contained a soft learning toy, and the other package
contained a small tray. She thanked Georgiana for them, and then
began to wonder how much longer it was going to be before she could get
on with the rest of her day.

"Would you like something to drink?" she found herself speaking

into the strained atmosphere. "I'm sure Ruth could whip up something if
you want breakfast."

"Oh, I never eat breakfast," Georgiana stated, glancing

disdainfully about herself again. Chris was beginning to wonder if the
woman had any warmth at all.

"Would you like to see some pictures of Jason when he was

younger?" she asked, sincerely doubting the woman would care.

Georgiana eyed her for several moments before shrugging. "Why

not."

"Okay." Chris sat up straighter and immediately went into action.

"A friend from back home packed up some things and sent them out to

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

me. I got them just yesterday and haven't had a chance myself to look at
everything."

Chris continued explaining how she'd come about the items as she

dragged the box out from the closet. From beneath several smaller boxes
she pulled out the photo albums and carried them over near Georgiana.

"This is. . ." She began with the images from right after the child

was born. Jeannie was holding the small bundle, looking exhausted but
content. Georgiana seemed removed at first, but soon began to actually
warm to the images Christina was showing her.

"She actually looks happy." Georgiana's voice was tinged with

surprise. "Was she?" She turned to Christina, genuinely wanting to
know the answer.

"Well, yes," Christina nodded, frowning at the odd change that had

come over the woman. "I think she was, especially after Jason was born.
He was the light of her life."

Georgiana looked pained for several moments. "She never was

with me. I only tried to give her the things that I never had. Security. A
good life."

Chris felt a twinge of sympathy. Georgiana obviously had regrets.

"What happened?" she asked gently.

Georgiana sighed and shook her head. "She wanted love and

romance. I tried to teach her that those things couldn't save her. I once
opted for those ridiculous notions and I lived to regret it. I tried to show
her that. It ended up being her downfall."

"How was it her downfall?" Christina wanted to know. She'd given

up any hope of ever knowing what had led Jeannie to the decisions she
had made. Perhaps Georgiana could be the one to help her.

"Fool girl fell in love," Georgiana said with a shrug. "She fell in love

with the wrong man. It was history all over again. And I here I'd
thought that. . ." Georgiana trailed over, fixing a calculating eye on
Christina.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"Look, the kid is asleep and well, I've got things to do. I'll come

back around some other time." With that, Georgiana Stanton gathered
herself and her things and walked out of the door. Christina watched her
go, a curious expression crossing her features.

----------

Mabel Jenkins walked into the small building that doubled as post-

office, Western Union, and on occasion voting center for the small town
of McAllister. As she passed through the glass doors that had seen
better days, she thought she caught a familiar shadow in the corner of
her eye.

Turning, she squinted to focus on the individual that stood

haunched against the counter, talking softly with Betsy, one of the
newer hires. Young and a little naïve, Mabel felt that the girl could
handle the place during the 1 to 2 o'clock hour, which Mabel generally
reserved as her own lunch hour as the place was practically dead during
that time. Today, however, was obviously the exception to the rule.

Moving toward the familiar form, Mabel called out his name.

"Larry Moore. What are you doing skulking around like you're up to no
good?" She believed in calling them like she saw them. And Larry Moore
looked guilty. So did Betsy, come to think of it.

Mabel pinned the girl with an extra firm, accessing look,

before crooking a finger in Larry's direction, suggesting that he follow
her. Larry followed somewhat meekly. Mabel's first clue that he hadn't
gotten what he'd come for.

"What are you up to?" She asked him point blank when they

were in her office.

"Nothing, Mabel," Larry said solemnly. Obviously those

times she'd sat with him and his brother when his father had left town
for several weeks still rang clearly in his mind. "I just wanted to know
where Chris is. Angie wouldn't tell me anything."

"And just what makes you think that I'm going to?" Mabel

asked, wondering if the boy had gone daft. "She's married now, and the

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

last thing she needs is you nosing around where you don't have business
being."

"It is my business. Mabel, you know how close we were.

We've been seeing one another for years. The least I can do is wish her
well."

"Go get her a card, then, and I'll send it to her." Mabel told

him. She would not be putting up with this young man's nonsense.

"Mabel. . ." Larry complained. "You don't understand."

"I do understand," Mabel said, her voice softening. "You and

Christina were an item for a long time and maybe you took her a little
for granted. You were always gone, and I know you stepped out on her a
time or two. But, it's over, Larry. She's someone's wife, now."

"But she can't be, Mabel," Larry said earnestly. "She

wouldn't just leave me like that. No warning, no nothing."

Mabel sighed and her lips tightened. She wasn't sure what he

called the fact that the girl had hung up on him in a huff when he'd
ordered her to not to go, but then again young people were a little
strange these days. "Larry you know what your problem is," she said.

"I miss Christina Belcuri is my problem."

"No," Mabel shook her head. "Your problem is that you never

miss your water until you well runs dry. Your well is dry. Go dig another
one, or you're gonna find yourself eating dirt."

Larry stared at her open-mouthed for several moments.

"What do you mean, Mabel?" he cried. "Surely she didn't marry this guy
out of anything more than pity? I won't believe that! And I can't believe
you stood by and let her do it!"

"Larry Moore. I've loved you like a son, but you will not raise

your voice at me. Now, what I suggest you do is take some time to think
this through and you'll realize that this is all for the best. Christina is
happy, and if you feel anything for her you will leave things be."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Larry grumbled under his breath for several moments and

then shuffled out of her office. Mabel shook her head. Sometimes...

Making a mental note to call Christina, she headed back out

to the counter. It was time to have a little talk with Betsy.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Michael Raven was useless. He'd spent nearly two and a half

hours in his office, for the most part, pretending to be working. With so
many upheavals on the horizon, he'd thought that some simple
monotonous tasks would be just the thing to settle his nerves. No such
luck. His mind continued to return to the thought that in 36 hours or so
he might be a complete man again. He might actually be able to look
upon his new wife and son. There were so many images that his mind
teased him with: the exact color of the sunrise, the precise size of ripples
made by the geese swimming in the pond or trees blowing in the breeze.
He'd never paid more than passing attention to such things in the past,
but now, he wasn't so sure that even what he did remember was correct.
When he got his vision back, he would cherish every sight, every nuance
of the things around him.

Then there were the things he had never seen. Jason, his son-with

eyes as blue as his own. He wanted to experience that for himself. He
wanted to see the toothless grin that lit the child's face when he was
tickled, the tears he cried when he was unhappy, the innocent
expression of contentment while he chewed at his favorite toy.

And he couldn't forget Christina, the one he wanted to be able to

see most of all. To be able to present himself to her without impediment
was his earnest desire. He wanted to be able to pick her up and carry
her across the threshold of their home. Smile into her eyes and tell her
just how wonderful he thought she was, how much he loved her.

They said that men where very physical creatures, being attracted

to looks above all else. He'd fallen for Christina sight unseen, the smell
of her, the touch of her, the sound of her. The taste of her. And the heart
of her; she had a beautiful heart. Now, he wanted to add more to his
picture of her. He knew the way she felt in his arms when he kissed her,

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

or reached out for her. He also knew the sounds and feel of her when she
was lost in their mutual passionate need. But he wanted to see with his
own eyes the effect he had on her. He wanted to... He wanted...

Unable to sit behind his desk any longer, he shut down his

computer, pushed himself back from his desk and made his way out of
the door. Had he been able to continue for another half hour, Desmond
would have been there to assist him to lunch. But, hadn't he grown up in
this house? He knew it like the back of his hand. Finding his and
Christina's bedroom would be no problem. 'Twas but a simple matter of
making his way across the foyer and along the proper corridor.

Confident in his steps, and anxious to reach his destination,

Michael began to move more quickly when he reached the corridor. His
questing hands brushed over the door that was the outer entrance to the
nursery. Jason would probably be just going down for his midday nap, he
realized, pleased all the more that his not-so-though-out plan was
coming together. Now if only the girl were actually in the room.

Sharply anticipating, he grasped the knob to his and Christina's

bedroom and triumphantly pushed the door open. Christina called out
his name almost immediately, her voice sounding as if it were blocked by
something. Michael moved quickly in her direction, wanting only to be
nearer, to touch her.

Something firm and unyielding sprung up directly in his path.

Both his feet made direct contact before he felt himself grasping at
empty air. He hit the floor with the most undignified thump, landing as
he did first on his backside. His momentum carried the rest of him to the
floor, leaving him staring sightlessly upward.

"Oh my God! Michael!" He heard Christina scurrying to his side,

felt her brushing his hair back from his forehead, feeling over his body
as if checking for injuries. And all he could do was laugh. He felt it wash
up from deep within him, in waves. After the mornings tensions, and
what, for him, amounted to a mad dash down the hallway, this was
precisely where he deserved to end up. And he was happy. So happy.

Still chuckling despite Christina's tone of half-amused, half-

confused concern, he lifted his arms up around her shoulders and

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

dragged her down atop him. "I'm fine," he assured her. "Better than fine.
Wonderful."

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head?" Christina teased, running

her fingers through the hair at his temples. Even such a small motion
sent a tremor through his body.

"Why don't you kiss it to make sure it's all better?" Michael asked

suggestively, not even bothering to try to hide the way she affected him.

"I'm happy to help in any way I can," Christina murmured in

return as she lowered her lips to his temple, barely grazing his skin as
she trailed a slow path along the side of his face.

"Has anyone told you that you have a wonderful bedside

manner?" Michael murmured hazily, anticipating the moment when
their lips would touch. The instant was if the world had tilted on its axis,
and Christina's only reply was a soft sound of surrender. Michael gloried
in it. Christina was atop him, but he controlled the kiss, tasting and
taking more and more. The more he took, the more she gave. Passion for
passion. Need for need. It drove him wild.

The sound of the phone ringing tore through his senses,

shocking them both back to earth. "Let the machine get it," Michael
demanded, planting kisses along the side of her neck and across her
exposed chest above the low vee of her blouse. "We're busy."

Christina's chuckled was cut off by a gasp, one that Michael

wasn't responsible for. When she stilled expectantly, Michael sighed a
deep, long-suffering sigh.

"I should get that," she said down to him. It was

compensation that he could hear the reluctance in her voice.

He managed a game smile, tapping lightly at her back. "I

know. I think I'll survive." She dropped a quick, firm kiss on his lips and
before he had time to make much of a response she was up and dashing
toward the phone. He thought he recognized Mabel's voice speaking into
the machine. Christina caught it just before it sounded as if Mabel
would hang up. He heard the distinctive click when she switched off the
answering machine.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

He remained stretched out on the floor, trying to calm

himself, while Christina moved toward a corner of the room speaking
softly. The call didn't exactly sound like it would be over soon.
Reluctantly he pushed himself into a sitting position, and tried not to
listen in on Christina's side of the conversation.

Where was he on the floor anyway? Moving carefully, his foot

found the object that had landed on the floor in the first place.
Curiously, he moved to his hands and needs so that he could feel it with
hands. It was a large cardboard box. Perhaps it was one of the packages
Christina had mentioned receiving from McAllister. He hesitated to go
any further. Instead, he felt his way toward the wall and moved to a
standing position.

Chris was winding up her call. He heard her telling Mabel

good-bye and she moved toward his side of the room. Moments later, he
heard the sound of the receiver being replaced.

"I'm sorry about that box," Christina told him as she

approached his side. "I hadn't had a chance to look through it. I should
move it out of the way." He could hear her moving to the floor and
struggling to reclose the top and slide the box away.

"No wait. You don't have to put it away," Michael said.

"What's in there anyway?"

He heard a smile enter her voice. "Lots of things that you'll

probably be interested in a few days." She reached for his hand and
pulled him down to the floor. She reopened the box and then began to
riffle through the items. "There are pictures; lots and lots of pictures.
Our little Jason is very photogenic." She took some more items from the
box. "There some things I don't recognized," she said, opening what
sounded like another, smaller box.

"Oh!" She laughed. "It's my jewelry box!" She opened the lid

and the sound of tinkling music filled the room. Beethoven's Fur Elise if
memory served. "It was my aunt Elise's favorite. She left it to me when
she died."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

Michael smiled at the softness he heard in her tone. "What

else is in the box?" He was anxious to see what items of her past pleased
her.

He heard her set the music box aside and search for more

items in the box. "There's this," she said, opening yet another smaller
box. He heard several objects sliding from the box into her hand, and
then the sound of the box being set aside. Christina didn't speak.

"Christina?" Michael reached for her, sensing something

different in her mood.

"I... It's... They were Jeannie's," she said, her voice trembling

slightly.

"Really?" he asked, feeling a mild pang. It was odd that he

thought of Jeannie as more Christina's friend than his former wife.
"What are they?"

"They're...diaries." Christina stated, sounding as if she were

still in a state of mild shock.

"She used to keep a diary when we

were children-we both did. I didn't know that she started again."

"Are there any dates?" Michael asked, suddenly anxious to

know if there were any references to the time when she'd been married
to him. Maybe there would be some clue as to why she had left.

Christina flipped rapidly through the pages. "One of them

starts about the time she came back to McAllister and ends before Jason
was born. The other picks up right after." She sounded slightly
breathless. He wished he could see her, know what she was feeling at
that moment.

His mind was in confusion. While he wanted to know more

about his life with Jeannie, he was also afraid. What if the truth were
something horrible? Something that might drive he and Christina
apart? Did he want to risk that?

"Sounds like she was picking up where she left off," Christina

murmured, interrupting his thoughts. "Maybe she has other diaries..."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

"We could check my old rooms," Michael suggested, hoping

that his trepidation wasn't obvious. Whether he was obvious was the
least of his worries, as Christina moved quickly to her feet, drawing him
along with her. He sensed the anxiousness in her steps as they left the
room.

"Do you realize that I've never seen your rooms," she told him

with a laugh. As they made their way slowly up the stairs. "That first
night, we never actually made it inside."

Michael frowned. "Oddly enough, I can't remember what it

looks like." He concentrated. How could he not remember his own
bedroom. Then he remembered, it had probably been he and Jeannie's
bedroom. Had it changed? Fighting the gloominess that was threatening
to overcome him, he forced a smile and told her that if she liked it better
they could move up there. Then they were at the door.

----------

Christina paused at the entry into what had once been Michael's

rooms. They were darkened, and held an unmistakable feeling of the
past. Or perhaps that was her own imagining as that was what she was
seeking.

Near the door was a small table containing several items and a

small lamp. She reached in search of the one switched. It illuminated at
her touch, it's brightness increasing with the length of time her hand
remained.

Soon a warm glow spilled out over the room. The suite stretched

out in both directions, a sitting area containing an entertainment area
sat on one side down several steps. In the opposite direction were
several doors and a bed, surrounded by two night tables, a couple chairs
and heavy oak, free-standing mirror alongside a matching chest and
dresser set.

She lead Michael further into the room. "Where should I start?"

she mused, half to herself.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

100

"Anywhere you like," Michael told her. "I don't know that I'll be

much help." It was hard to miss the slight edge of frustration in his
voice.

"Perhaps if I described it to you," she told him.

She led him first to the table near the door and began to describe

the items there. She placed the items that she could into his hands so
that he might feel them. She watched the myriad emotions that crossed
his features as he examined the items. His mind was hungry for the
information that his hands were feeding him.

"Didn't you sleep in this room before you came to McAllister?"

Christina asked him, curiously. He should have had at least some sense
of the room from before that time.

Michael grinned wryly, continuing to feel over the items on the

shelf of the large walk-in closet. "I came to you almost directly from the
hospital. When we returned here, I was a little too pre-occupied with
other things, to pay much attention to what was in this room."

Chris enjoyed the warm rush of emotion that washed over her at

his words. She had never had the nerve to ask him directly why he had
wished to make their marriage permanent. She had, on some level,
simply attributed it to his love for his son and the desire to keep him
safe. She found that she still didn't have the nerve.

Something beneath his hands caught her attention. "What's this?"

she asked, moving nearer to pick up the item. It was a wooden box
bearing the initials JAS in a flowing script that had been worked into a
vine pattern containing pink flowers. "Looks like I'm not the only one
who had an interest in jewelry boxes." She smiled. "But whose is it? It
couldn't have been Jeannie's."

Michael shrugged. "Perhaps it was mine?"

Christina shook her head. "Not unless you have a penchant for

pink flowers and have the initials J. A. S. Jeannie's initials were J. A. M.
I used to pick on her about it. Jeannie Ann Meridon."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

101

Michael shook his head. "Are you certain? I do remember her last

name from the investigation. It was the same as Georgiana's. Perhaps
she changed it?"

The thought that Jeannie had changed her name somehow

disturbed Christina. It didn't make sense that she would do such a thing
when she was already an adult when she'd moved to live with her
mother. Perhaps she hadn't known her friend after all.

Chris carefully opened the lid. Several pieces of jewelry were

contained in the case, including what looked suspiciously like a wedding
band. Hesitantly she reached for it, turning it so that she could better
read the inscription that had been engraved along the inside of the ring.

All my love, Michael

The ring fell from her fingers and clattered to the shelf. Christina

had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. She should have known that
by entering this room, she would be awakening demons of the past. Now
was no time to turn back. Steeling herself, she picked up the ring and
placed it back into the jewelry box.

"What was that?" Michael asked, curiously from her side.

"Jeannie's---" Christina paused, something near the bottom of the

case had caught her eye. There was a small drawer at the bottom of the
box with a little button at its side. She pressed the button with a
fingernail. The drawer slid open to reveal a small key on a chain.

"I think I've found something," she said, struggling to fish out the

key. It and its chain took up most of the available area, not allowing
room for her fingernail to slip in alongside to remove it.

"What?" Michael asked.

"Almost got it," she told him, turning her finger to the side so that

she might hook the chain. No go. She tried to pull the drawer out father.
To her surprise, the entire drawer pulled free of the box.

"It's a key," she said, pouring the contents into her hands. She

turned it over, hoping for a clue as to what it might fit into. She looked
up and around the shelves.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

102

"A key?" Michael was confused to. "Can you tell what it goes to?"

"No," Chris moved around the closet, over the shoe boxes and

garment bags. Then something near the back along floor level caught
her eye. It was a lovely case, fashioned of what appeared to be pecan.
She got down on her knees and pulled it out.

There were no markings which might denote whom the case might

have belonged to. But Christina's money was on Jeannie as the box was
of a very feminine design. The top portion of the case looked as if it
opened outward, while there were two drawers along the bottom. The
part of the box that most attracted Christina was the fact that there was
a keyhole along the top section of the box. The key slid easily into the
lock.

"I think I've found what it goes to," she said, staring frozen at

the chest. Now that she'd found it, she wasn't sure that she should open
it. What if it changed everything? What if Georgiana was proved right?

She turned her eyes toward Michael. "It's sort of a large jewelry

case. But it has two door that look as if they swing open and there are
two drawers beneath. Does it sound familiar?" She spoke softly, barely
above a whisper. Somehow that tone seemed to suit the moment.

"No," Michael shook his head, matching her tone. "What's inside?"

Christina blew out a breath. There was truly only one way to

know. She turned the key in the lock and opened the little doors. Several
strings of pearls were placed neatly along hooks. A diamond tennis
bracelet was there as well. Assorted smaller pieces lay in a small tray
set one of the doors.

Chris reached out for the items, brushing her fingers across them.

"Beautiful jewelry," was her belated answer to Michael's question.
"There are three pearl necklaces, a diamond bracelet. Earrings."

Michael was silent for several moments. "Definitely not mine," he

said with a little difficulty.

Chris nodded, acknowledging that he had probably purchased

those items for his wife. His first wife. Evidently he loved her dearly in
their short time together. She closed the doors on the glistening items.

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But she couldn't close the door on the feelings of intrusion that had crept
into her heart.

She moved next to the drawers. She wasn't even surprised

when she found that both contained diaries. "I found them," she
whispered solemnly. Michael didn't have words. He settled to the floor in
the closet alongside her.

Urging herself to do what was necessary, she opened to the

first pages. "I think they're both from before your marriage," Christina
told him. "The most recent dates to almost two years ago."

Michael released a breath and dropped his head into his hands.

"I'm sorry," Christina said and placed a hand on his arm.

Don't be," Michael said, covering it. "It's not your fault."

"Would you like me to read them to you?" Chris asked. Perhaps

that would give him some peace, or at least a clue as to what might have
happened during the time that was lost to him.

"No." He raised his head from his hands. "No. It was in the past.

I'd just as soon leave it there."

"Okay," Chris smiled gently. She could understand that, and she

would honor his wishes. But she knew, that for herself, she couldn't not
read those diaries. She desperately wanted to know what had happened
to her friend after she'd left McAllister.

----------

Glorious sunlight streamed through the curtains in the small

breakfast room, casting gentle beams across the table at which
Christina and Michael sat. An assortment of breakfast foods adorned the
table, mostly untouched.

Christina's eyes drifted from the steaming plate of rolls to

Michael's hand were it rested on the table near a glass of juice. A touch
of the sunshine glinted off of the wide gold band that circled his fourth
finger. It reminded her that he was married, spoken for. Legally, his life
and her life were linked.

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He moved his hand around the glass and moved it upward toward

his lips. Then, seeming lost in thought, he stopped for several moments
before slowly returning the glass to the table. He had been thus
distracted all morning.

Christina would liked to have attributed his mood to the surgery

that was scheduled for three hours hence, but his mood had changed
after they'd found the diaries. He was still attentive, and affectionate
but there were moments when it was obvious that his mind had drifted
to some other place.

When they had been alone the night before, she had attempted to

raise the subject but he had placed a hand over her lips and asked that
they simply hold one another and forget that anything else existed in the
world-just for the night. Christina had obliged him, wanting too the
simple release that they could find in one another's arms. Later, she had
fallen into an exhausted sleep.

Michael had waken her that morning with gentle kisses with the

promise of much more. He had made love to her with a depth of emotion
that left her feeling deeply cherished, and mildly frightened. She didn't
know what she could do, or what she could say to ease his melancholy.
She hoped it was enough that she was there.

----------

Michael didn't know what to feel. All he knew was that he was

lying on a gurney, surrounded by doctors, waiting for his surgery to
begin. Christina stood by his bedside, her fingers linked with his.

Dr. Julian was explaining the procedure to him once again.

Describing exactly what would be taking place during the next hours as
they attempted to recover his sight. It has initially been thought that he
would require several surgeries. But Dr. Julian was a specialist in the
field and wanted to try a very new technique that would be able to
accomplish the same task in a single surgery.

His doctor's had been very enthusiastic about the procedure, and

so had he. He still was, actually. Only, he couldn't shake the depression
that ate at the edges of his psyche.

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Julian had finished his explanation and was asking Christina if

she had any more questions. Michael felt a flutter of anxiety in his
stomach. This was it. He pulled Christina's fingers to his lips and she
gave his a light squeeze before releasing him.

"I love you, Michael Raven," he heard her whisper into his ear

before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. Then he felt the bed moving as
he was pushed out of the room and into a corridor toward the room in
which the surgery would take place. Later, when he felt the anesthesia
entering his blood and consciousness slipping away, he could still feel
the warm spot on his cheek where she'd kissed him, and he could still
hear the whisper of her words echoing through his mind. Soon,
hopefully, he would feel good enough for her.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Dear Diary,

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm doing this. I

don't know why I'm doing this. Except, Georgie says it's the right

thing. She's my mother, family, my own flesh and blood. She

should know what's best for me. Right?

Christina sat up from her reading and blinked her eyes. Three

hours had passed since Michael had gone into surgery. But, as she had
been so engrossed in Jeannie's early diaries-the ones that had been
written before her marriage to Michael-that she had barely noticed the
time passing. The diaries had been amazing. So much had happened in
her friend's life after she left McAllister.

The diaries began several months after Christina had stopped

receiving letters from her. In her letters, Christina had told her about
the people she'd met and the things she'd done. And it was some
consolation, that she did mention Christina in her diary, often in the
context that Christina would not approve of something that she had
done.

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It seemed that Georgiana was actively seeking to pair Jeannie

with a wealthy young man. At first Jeannie seemed to think it was fun,
the fancy clothes, the parties, until she'd met one young man who had
taken advantage of her. She had gotten away before things had gotten
too bad, but Chris could feel the fear that still ached through her friend's
words.

Her next entries had been very solemn passages, discussing her

change of attitude about trying to catch a man through deception.
Shortly after, Jeannie had transferred to a smaller school outside
Greenich.

She continued her schooling, and Georgiana still seemed to be

finding ways of introducing her to 'suitable' young men. But then
Jeannie had met a young man named Steven Miller. It was the first guy
she'd mentioned by first and last name. And Chris didn't think
Georgiana had introduced the pair.

Through the next few entries, Chris discovered that Steven was a

musician-a member of a local band. He had played at one of the clubs
that the college students usually frequented. There were pages of lyrics
from some of the songs Steven had written. Chris had to admit that
some were very touching. While others were a trifle frightening;
sometimes speaking of a dark, unforgiving type of love.

Georgiana found out and took an instant dislike to the boy. But

Jeannie was defiant in her desire to see Steven. Georgiana threw more
young men toward her daughter, some not so young. In those passages,
Chris spoke with disgust at her mother's desperation. On her 22nd
birthday, she and Steven eloped.

Their relationship remained a secret, until a month later Jeannie

discovered that she was pregnant. Georgiana found out almost
immediately. Jeannie wrote of a bitter argument between she and her
mother in which her mother had told her a horrifying story of her own
parentage. She told Jeannie of a boy just like Steven who had pretended
he loved her until she got big with child, a child he didn't want, a child
who didn't fit into his life as a musician.

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Jeannie had wrote bitter entries about her mother's life not being

her life of how Steven was gentle, was different. Georgiana had told her
that if she couldn't live by her rules, then she would have to leave her
home.

Jeannie had gone to Steven's apartment. Within a week they'd had

an argument. Chris wasn't sure what the argument was about, she only
knew that Jeannie was heartbroken because Steven was ready for a
child. History seemed to have been repeating itself.

She went back home to Georgiana, who accepted her on several

conditions. Jeannie did not state what those conditions were. But she
wrote heart wrenching poems as an ode to her lost child. She even wrote
an obituary to what she had felt had been a little girl. Jeannie had so
wanted a home, a child and a family; she wrote of her doubt that she
was worthy of either.

Many days of depression seemed to have followed that. There were

dates with more young men. Jeannie's descriptions were all very
subdued. Then, Christina had read an entry at odds with those that had
come before. Georgiana's attitude seemed to have become Jeannie's. She
wanted to take charge of her life. Be her own woman. Get the things
that she wanted. Because she deserved it.

A few entries after, Jeannie wrote of her mother finding out about

her secret marriage to Steven. Georgiana demanded that her daughter
have the marriage severed. Jeannie's final despondent entry had spoken
of her doubt at what she was about to do. Obviously, she had done it.
There were no journal entries that followed.

Christina closed the diary and gazed down at it, contemplating the

things that had taken place. Jeannie had mentioned none of it, and
Chris wondered if Michael had ever had any inkling of Jeannie's past
life. She began to wonder just how Michael and Jeannie had met.

All manner of scenarios washed through her mind, but none

seemed to fit. She couldn't imagine that Michael was involved in some
dating scam with Georgiana, at least not knowingly. As she continued to
ponder, her eyes began to droop. She thought vaguely that in a little

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108

while she would get up and move around, or perhaps get some coffee.
Yes, in a little while. . .

A sound from the opposite side of the waiting room brought her

abruptly out of her slumber. Her eyes jerked toward the door where
Desmond was entering with two cups. He beamed her an apologetic
smile as he approached.

"I didn't mean to wake you. You were sleeping so soundly." He

said, settling in the seat nearest her. "Although, I fear you may have a
crook in your neck in this chair."

"You're probably right," Chris replied, rolling her head about in its

socket. She should have known better than to have fallen asleep in those
uncomfortable chairs. "You'd think they'd give you pillows, huh?"

"Most certainly," Desmond grinned at her. "I've brought you a

beverage. Also, I've spoken with Maria. She says that Jason is doing
wonderfully. He's playing happily in his pen and will be having his
dinner soon."

"Dinner?" Chris looked confused toward her watch. Five hours had

passed! "Oh my goodness. It's so late! I thought the surgery was to be
over by now. Dr Julian said four hours."

"Yes," Desmond nodded. "Perhaps there were more things to do

than expected. But I'm sure it won't be much longer. In fact. . ." he
looked toward the clear window in the door. "I think I see Dr. Wilcott
now."

Chris turned, seeing the Dr. approach with his mask pulled down

and hanging around the neck of his blue surgical garb. She and
Desmond stood to greet the man. He looked as if he had just come in
from battle.

"Mrs. Raven, Mr. Desmond." Wilcott nodded toward the both of

them. "We ran into a few complications, but we did manage to fulfill our
objectives. We're going to have to wait to see the final result. He'll be
going back to his room for recovery now, and probably won't regain
consciousness for several hours yet. If you'd like to go in and see him,
you may."

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109

The doctor's guarded expression disturbed Christina, she felt as if

there was something that he wasn't telling them. "So the surgery was a
success, then?" she found herself asking.

"As I said earlier, Mrs. Raven, this is a very new technique and

still in the experimental stages. Dr. Julian is the best in the field. But in
spite of that, the degree of success cannot be determined yet. We'll be
better able to gauge tomorrow morning when we remove the bandages."

"Of course. Thank you, Dr. Wilcott."

Chris turned, and allowed Desmond to lead the way down the

corridor that would take them to Michael's room. Mentally, she felt as if
more than a single day had passes since she'd risen. She felt as if she'd
embarked on a long journey of discovery and that it wasn't quite over
yet. Everything seemed so uncertain.

"What do you think the Dr. meant by 'complications', and 'wait and

see'?" she turned to ask Desmond as they reached Michael's door. The
more she thought about Wilcott's responses to her questions, the more
anxious she felt. Desmond had more experience with the man as he had
been accompanying Michael on his visits since the beginning. She hoped
that he might have some reassuring insights.

"It doesn't help to worry about terminology, Christina," was

Desmond's matter-of-fact reply. "It won't change a thing and will only
leave you exhausted. What will be is what will be. We will simply make
the best of it."

"But what if the surgery is a failure, Desmond? What if instead of

making things better, they are worse?" Christina felt unable to control
the mild panic that was rising within herself. She had seen the hope
that had radiated from Michael when the doctor's had told him how good
his chances were. She didn't want to see that light die.

Desmond touched her shoulder lightly and gazed pointedly into her

eyes. "Then he will need you more than ever," he said quietly. "Can you
be there for him, Christina?"

Christina stared back at him, calmed by the man's amazing

stability. "I'll be there as long as he wants me."

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110

Desmond smiled and released her. Turning, he pushed the door

open slightly and peered into the darkened room. With a small nod of
satisfaction he allowed the door to close. "You go on in. I'll be back in the
morning. Feel free to call should either of you need anything."

Chris watched the tall, gray-haired man walk away. Oscar

Desmond had a way of getting to the heart of things. And he had been
much more than an employee to Michael. He had been a true friend.
Sending up a prayer of thanks and of hope for the future, she pushed the
door open to Michael's room and entered.

The curtains were drawn and the room was dim. Only a night light

was turned on low in one corner of the room. Its light shown dimly
across the foot of the bed, revealing Michael's shadowed from beneath
the covers.

Chris moved further into the room and approached the bed.

Michael's face, cast in shadow, was relaxed in sleep. Large white pads
covered both his eyes and were secured in place by bandages that were
wrapped completely around his head. An IV dripped a clear liquid into
one of his hands and some type of monitor encased one of his fingers.
Every so often, she heard the sound of air pressure being released as the
blood pressure machine did its job.

Chris reached out and held one of his hands, careful to avoid the

equipment. His skin was cool to the touch, so she took his hand into both
of hers warming his flesh with her own. She kissed the hand as he had
done earlier. Then she leaned over and dropped a kiss on his lips.

"No matter what happens, I love you." She whispered the words in

the stillness of the room. Only the sound of the blood pressure machine
responded.

----------

Michael awoke slowly, groggily coming back to his senses. The

surgery was over he felt certain, for he could feel something soft pressed
against his eyes. And a dull ache emanated from behind his skull,

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111

piercing like two drilling rigs taking turns ploughing through his
temples.

He raised his hands almost subconsciously, hoping that by touch

he might relieve the agony. That was when he felt the pull of the IV and
felt the tightening of something around his upper arm. Suddenly, he felt
confined, trapped. He needed to get up, to move around.

"Christina," he called, though his voice came out more like a dry

croak. "Christina!" He tried again, more loudly. Unsatisfied with the
lack of response, he pushed himself up to his elbows, fighting the nausea
that the headache brought on. A frightening sense of déjà vu washed
over him, as he remembered waking up that first time, in the hospital,
alone and unable to see.

Reaching over, he pulled loose the Velcro fastenings on the blood

pressure monitor and made his way to a full seated position. Next came
the thing on the end of his finger. Someone had explained the name of it
to him before, but in his frenzy he couldn't remember it. He went a little
more slowly in removing his IV.

"Christina," he tried again, reaching now for the bed rails.

Someone had wisely raised them, ensuring that he could not fall out. For
the life of him, he couldn't remember how to bring them down, so he did
the next best thing. He scooted to the foot of the bed and climbed over,
slowly lowering his feet to the cold floor.

He felt distinctly better now that he had some mobility, and was

beginning to feel a little silly at panicking. But, still, he wondered where
Christina had gone. Telling himself that perhaps she'd just stepped out
to get lunch. . . or dinner? -he wasn't sure of the time, although it did feel
late, somehow-he decided to take a trip out into the hallway to ask for a
couple aspirin.

He rose slowly to his feet, using the bed to balance himself on

shaky legs. If this was the room he'd been in earlier, the door was
straight on ahead. Letting go of the bed, he took careful steps in the
direction that he had decided upon. He reached the wall near the door,
so far so good.

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112

Pressing forward, he felt for the knob, pulled the door open and

stepped on through. He stood there, allowing the hallway sounds to
wash over him. To his left he could hear voices, several of them and the
soft trill of a phone ringing. Probably the nurses station, he decided. Just
where he needed to be.

Feeling along the wall, he started off. Each careful step brought

him closer and closer to the sounds. Unfortunately, the loud sounds were
doing nothing in a good way for his head. A wave of dizziness on the
heels of nausea washed over him this time. As he pressed forward,
perspiration broke out across his upper lip. He began to wonder that this
wasn't exactly the best idea he'd had all day.

As he continued, now hoping that someone would notice him and

offer assistance, he thought he heard the sound of a familiar tread.
"Christina?" he called, his voice somewhat shaky now with his exertions.
But the sound was loud enough that the footsteps faltered, and then
began to pick up speed. Also, on some level, he noticed that the voices at
the nurse's station had fallen silent.

His steps slowed out of necessity, and his knees were beginning to

go out from under him. Thank goodness help was on the way.

"Michael!" Was he imagining things, or had he heard Christina's

voice. "Oh, Michael." He reached for the sound, taking a step away from
the wall. And then he felt himself falling, falling, falling. He felt hands
touching him, heard a confusion of voices calling him.

"Christina. Help me," he murmured on a soft breath before it all

washed away.

----------

All was silent yet again in the hospital room, and Michael Raven

was sleeping peacefully. Christina had been returning from the cafeteria
when she'd heard him calling her name. She and several of the nurses
had barely reached him before he had collapsed in the middle of the
hallway. Leave it to Michael Raven to make such an impression.

The doctor had given him something to help him sleep and

promised that he wouldn't be awakening until morning. Christina had

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113

settled down after that, ate what she could of her dinner and prepared to
read Jeannie's remaining diary.

The third book had begun in fifth month of pregnancy, and

discussed the things that had taken place in McAllister. She spoke of
Larry, and Angie and the other residents of the town. Most of it was
mundane stuff. Every now and then she would make a mention of the
past that she had left behind. There was absolutely nothing there that
gave Christina a clue as to why she might have left her marriage.

The fourth picked up where the third left off, shortly after Jason's

birth. There were happy entries and funny entries. There were pictures
pasted here and there of she and Jason and Christina. Her locket was
there to. Christina had almost forgotten about it. She'd given it to
Jeannie right before she'd left for Greenich. The locket contained a
picture of each of them on either side of the enclosure. Across the back
was engraved 'sisters forever'.

Also contained in the diary was a very candid picture of Michael.

He was laughing as something that had blurred was being thrown
toward him. His surprising blue eyes were looking affectionately into the
camera lens. She supposed that she had always known that sighted, his
gaze would be rather intense, but still she was shocked speechless. He
looked so very happy. She found herself staring a long time at the
picture.

There were other pictures: more pictures of herself from before and

after Jeannie had left McAllister as well as pictures of another young
man whom Chris could only guess was Steven Miller.

Steven's hair was dark, almost black and longish. He was gazing

insolently into the camera as he wrapped one arm around Jeannie's
shoulders. Jeannie was focusing on Steven with a look of complete
adoration.

There were several more pictures of Steven and a little packet

containing a thin wedding band. Chris did not have to guess who had
given it to her friend.

In spite of all the photographs and all the trinkets and the words,

Chris still hadn't found the answers she sought. Sighing, she put the

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114

objects aside and continued to read. She read on for several more
entries, then she found one, dated just two weeks before Jeannie had
died that was different than all the others. Instead of the obligatory
'dear dairy', this entry read:

Dear Christina,

I'm writing you this letter because you are the truest friend I've

ever had. It's been a rather strange life so far, but I'm hoping that

it will get better. But before I go on, there is something I have to

tell you.

When I first came here, yeah, yeah, for the second time. You didn't

ask any questions, didn't make any demands or conditions. You

just took me in, hugged me and said welcome home. I'll never, ever

forget that. That is something my own mother, Ms Georgiana 'call

me Georgie' Stanton never did. There was always a condition with

her. Always a catch.

But anyway. I'm about to tell you a story Christina. It's not

something I'm proud of, or happy about, but I have to tell it. And

you deserve to know.

A long time ago. Or so it seems like a long time ago when really it

was only about three years maybe, I met a guy. His name was

Steven Miller. He was a musician. A really good musician. You

know the kind we used to sit around and moon about. His stage

name was Stevie Blue. He was wonderful to me and I must have

fell for him like a rock. But there was one problem. Georgie was

trying to set me up with some rich dudes.

Most of them were sticks in the mud, Christine, let me tell you. It

was fun at first until Albert. He was a pervert and tried to do

things to me. But that's not the important part. The important this

is that I hated it. I don't know where she found them, but she was

good at it. Always telling me what to wear, what to say, what to do,

how to act. Yesh! You'd think I was prime rib.

Well, I told Stevie all about what Georgie was trying and he

empathized with me. He even wrote a song about it! Well, Stevie

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115

and I got married. Secretly, you know. Then, I got pregnant.

Georgie found out and hit the roof.

So I left, went to live with Stevie. That's when I found out that his

life wasn't exactly a bed of roses and that he didn't want a baby.

Why did he have to go and prove Georgie right?

Anyway, I ended up back home and I had an abortion, Chris. Don't

hate me. I hate me enough for two of us. Anyway, I started back

with Georgie's dates. She made me change my name. That's when

she found out I was married to Steven. She told me to get an

annulment. And really, I was going to, but Stevie was out of town

on some gig. I didn't know where he was or how to find him. So, I

lied to Georgie and told her that I'd done it.

I don't know if she really cared if I had or not because she had

found this guy that she said was prime. His name was Michael

Raven. He seemed so remote and out of it that I thought he was

like all the rest of them. He was definitely older than the rest, but

he had a gentleness, kinda, you know. I was depressed and he had

just gone through some pretty heavy-duty changes in his life. I

guess for a bit there we were kind of kindred spirits. He was

working hard to break himself out of his desperation and he made

it his job to bring me out of mine. I actually grew to like him. A lot.

I just enjoyed being with him.

Then he asked me to marry him. Oh Lord, Christina, I didn't know

what to do. I didn't expect that. We'd only dated for three months.

But I married him, hoping that no one would find out about

Steven.

Well, on the good side. No one did. Steven found out about me.

Some stupid picture in the society page. He came calling. He was

so angry, said I'd destroyed his muse. He actually asked me to

leave Michael and come be with him. I told him no. He started

black mailing me, saying that he would ruin Michael. And heaven

help me Chris I believed him.

Michael had only ever been kind to me and I didn't want him hurt

that way. So I did what Stevie asked. He wanted a new guitar at

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116

first and then for things for the band. I was so afraid. I gave them

to him. Then he started asking for big money, money that I

couldn't get. Sure, Michael was rich, but that didn't mean I could

get my hands on $10,000 dollars without him noticing. I tried to

explain that to Steven. I told him that if I'd ever meant anything to

him that he should let me go.

So he said, that he would release me. He swore it that if we could

have one more night together, he would leave me alone forever.

Chris, understand that on some level I still loved Stevie. I had a lot

of affection and respect for Michael and I wanted our relationship

to last, but I loved Stevie. Actually, I think Michael was more your

type than mine. But that's neither here nor there.

I did it. I let Stevie make love to me. For a whole week, I didn't

hear from him. Then I got the pictures in the mail. Now he wanted

$10,000 dollars or Michael would be getting a copy. He came to the

house. He had my locket, too. He knew that Michael would know

that I always wore it. He must have taken it from me that night.

Anyway, I met him outside and begged him to leave me alone. Told

him that I couldn't get my hands on that kind of money. So, he

asked me to leave Michael and be with him-that he couldn't get me

out of his system. I told him that I couldn't do that. That I had to

stay with Michael. Well, seems that Stevie was always one step

ahead of me.

Michael had gotten an invitation, too, to come home a little early.

He pulled in right beside Stevie. Stevie just kinda looked at

Michael with this evil grin and whispered in my ear that I was his

forever now. Even if he had to kill to have me. Then he kissed me.

Right there in front of Michael!

Michael tore out of that car, rushing to defend my honor. My

honor, Christine. The last thing I deserved. But Stevie had more

pictures and the locket and our old marriage license. Nice and

gentlemanly like he handed it all over to Michael and then he got

into his car and left.

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I didn't know what to do. And Michael, he just kinda stood there in

shock. Then he looked up at me, and all of it was in his eyes. I don't

think I'll ever forget how pale, how hurt he looked. Then he got

angry. Madder than I've ever seen any human. Then he just shut

down. He dropped the pictures and stuff in front of me and just

walked away. He never said a single word.

I burned the pictures and my old marriage license. And I went to

Georgie, told her what happened. She laughed at me, and told me

to go back to my husband. Beg for forgiveness, ask for a divorce, do

anything just as long as I ended up with some money 'cause I

certainly couldn't come back there penniless.

I couldn't believe her. And Michael deserved better than an

adulterous wife who probably wasn't legally married to him

anyway. So, I left. I drove all the way back here to you and you

took me in. Right after I found out I was pregnant. So close to that

family I'd always wanted, but not quite.

For the record: Jason is Michael's child. I'm torn with the desire to

go back to him, to tell him that he has a son. But, I don't know if

he'll be able to accept me as the mother. So, I stay here. I find I've

trapped my son in the same situation I found myself, without a

complete family. I can't ask you to sacrifice your life on my son's

behalf to help me raise him because some day you're going to have

a family of your own. But I wanted you to know, dear sister, that I

thank you for helping me to get back on the right foot.

I take responsibility for the wrong I've done. And I thank you for

the unconditional love you've shown me. I'd like to ask though,

that if something should happen to me, that you would take Jason

in and raise him as your own. And, also find his father and let him

know that something good did come out of our union. Tell him, I'm

sorry. And that he deserves someone to love him better than I did.

Whew! Now, if I can just get the nerve to give this to you. You

know I love you Christina Renee Belcuri. CaRoB girl.

Love Always,

JAR

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118

Christina turned the page with tears in her eyes. There were two

more entries in the journal, but she just couldn't read them at the
moment. She wanted to weep for Jeannie for all the things that had gone
wrong in her life, for all the hurt and betrayal and wrong turns that she
had made. It was no wonder that she had been so subdued, so frightened
after her arrival.

She also wanted to weep for Michael for all of the pain he'd been

subjected to. She now understood that air of vulnerability and
melancholy that seemed to have hung around him. He'd been deeply
hurt and betrayed, and though he had no memory of the event, his
psyche reacted as if he did. But lately, with the exception of the
occasional melancholy mood, he'd been much better. She looked down at
the diary and wondered if she would ever share Jeannie's letter with
him. She thought not. Hadn't he said that the past was better left in the
past? Sighing, she looked across at him, so innocently vulnerable in
sleep, and vowed to be gentle with his heart and to treat him kindly.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Desmond stepped back out of the way as Dr. Wilcott, the third of

Michael's three doctors stepped into the room. There would be quite on
audience on hand for the unveiling of Michael's eyes. Dr. Julian and Dr.
Creedon stood on either side of the bed. Dr. Wilcott had just taken a
position near Creedon. Two nurses stood by behind Julian, and
Christina had found in unobtrusive position in the corner. The only
other place that seemed available was at the foot of the bed, so that was
where stood.

He turned his head in Christina's direction, thinking that she

should be standing there with him. But she seemed so engrossed it in
the goings on, that she didn't notice his glance. And then there was no
more time as Dr. Julian announced that the bandages were off.

Desmond stood transfixed at the image of Michael's eyes, free of

bandages, free of the dark glasses. But his lids were closed, their backs
red and deeply bruised, no doubt from the surgery. For long seconds,

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

119

Michael sat there that way, eyes closed as if he were afraid to open
them.

"Open your eyes, Mr. Raven," Dr. Julian urged, and placed a gentle

hand on his shoulder. "Let us see those baby blues." A collective chuckle
went around the room, noticeably lessening the tension. Indeed,
everyone seemed to have been holding his or hear breath, waiting on the
outcome.

Just as the smile that had appeared at Julian's joke was fading

away, Michael opened his eyes. Immediately he blinked, then squinted
as if the light hurt his eyes. Bravely, he tried again. Desmond could
make out slivers of blue between dark lashes, and they appeared to be
looking directly at him.

"Michael?" He stood up straighter and called to his friend. He had

to know if what he thought he was seeing was true.

"Is that you, Desmond?" Michael asked, half-smiling, half-

frowning.

"Yes, it's me, Michael," Desmond responded, surprised at the wave

of emotion that welled up in him.

Michael squinted some more and tried to focus. "I think you have a

lot more gray than I remember," he teased, causing a few more laughs
around the room. Desmond found himself laughing as well.

"I most certainly do. And I'm forced to blame you for the quantity."

Turning to where Christina stood in the corner of the room, Desmond
beckoned her forward. "There's someone else here that I'll bet you want
to see more than my gray hair."

Christina walked hesitantly up to the bedside. "Hello, Michael."

She said softly through the tears that welled in her eyes.

"Christina." Michael's voice was equally soft as he turned toward

the sound of her voice. He squinted again, seeming to have some trouble,
but he reached for her hands and pulled her toward him and into his
embrace.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

120

Desmond was glad that Dr. Julian politely moved toward the door

and suggested that everyone give Christina and Michael a few minutes,
because if he hadn't, Desmond certainly would have done.

----------

Michael settled back into the wheel chair as he was wheeled

toward the hospital exit and closed his eyes. Finally able to leave the
place, he still wore the dark glasses that had previously signaled his
blindness. Today they were a protection for his very sensitive eyes.

Dr. Julian had explained that the blurring and the almost

kaleidoscoping effect of his vision would pass, that it was simply a side
effect of the surgery, due to swelling and disuse. Michael found the effect
disconcerting, not to mention the fact that it made him nauseous and
dizzy, allowing on moments of clarity before the effect returned. It was
worse, he found, when he was moving.

Christina walked alongside his wheelchair, her comforting

presence making him feel warm and proud. He risked a moment of
dizziness to take another look in her direction. Her deep golden hair
flowed over her shoulders loose and free. She turned toward him,
focusing wide gray eyes on him and smiled. He returned the smile,
cursing his vision as it again blurred.

Soon, he reassured himself. Soon he would be able to see normally

and then he could look at Christina all he wanted.

----------

Christina led Michael into the front entry hall of Raven's Rest. His

eyes were tightly shut behind his glasses, but his feet were anxious.
They'd learned rather through difficult experience that it was better for
him to keep his eyes closed while walking.

To Christina's surprise all of the household staff was there to greet

him. Maria held a contented Jason near the end of the line. There were
many greetings of welcome and hugs. Christina decided that Desmond
must have called ahead to warn them of his condition, because everyone
was very gentle and when he asked to see Jason, someone appeared with
a chair.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

121

Michael settled into the chair and made some comment about

someone having rearranged the room since he left to which Erma had
responded with a saucy reply. Everyone had laughed and then Michael
had thanked them all for their kindness. Finally, Maria handed the baby
to Christina, who then placed the child in Michael's lap.

The child looked a moment at his father and then immediately

reached for his glasses with a happy squeal. Michael allowed it, then
squinted so that he might focus more fully on the little boy.

Chris saw the overwhelming emotion that appeared in his eyes

before he had to close them. She stooped down near him, to offer
assistance. He turned his head slightly, sensing her presence and
reached for her hand.

"You were wrong," he whispered softly, so that only she could hear.

"I was wrong?" Chris asked, confused. "About what?"

"You said that if I could see him, I would love him." He opened his

eyes and focused on her. Through strength of will, he continued to look
at her. "I already love him. And now that I can see him, I love him even
more. I love you even more."

Chris leaned in and kissed his lips. "And I love you, Michael

Raven. With all my heart."

----------

The birds were singing summer songs in the trees, and the sun

was shining pleasantly over Raven's Rest adding nature's touch to the
happiness of its occupants. Christina pushed Jason's stroller through the
grass near Ezra's roses. They were beautiful today, their fragrances
billowing on the wind, scenting everything with their gently sweet smell.

Her life had settled into a gentle rhythm after Michael had been

released from the hospital three days prior. Her mornings were filled
with caring for Jason and other activities involving the upkeep of the
house. She also visited with Michael's mother in the afternoons. Sadly,
the woman's state of mind had not improved, but she seemed content.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

122

Her nights were filled with the passion that she shared with her

husband. His vision was nearly back to normal, the dizzy spells
happened only infrequently. Always having been a generous lover, the
return of his vision added a deeper meaning to that aspect of their
relationship. His intense gaze had the ability to pierce her through, even
as it filled her with the desire to be with him and him alone. She loved
him madly.

He was currently attending a follow-up visit with Dr. Julian, and

would no doubt be returning home soon. She had never changed her
mind about telling Michael about Jeannie's letter. It seemed unfair to
subject him to such pain unnecessarily.

As she continued her turn around the gardens, she heard the

sounds of a car pulling into the drive. Pushing aside her thoughts, she
steered the stroller toward the front of the house. As she rounded the
corner, she saw a car she didn't recognize coming to a stop in the drive.
She halted Jason beneath and over hang and went out to greet the
driver. She was stunned speechless when Larry Moore climbed out of
the vehicle.

"Larry?! What in the world are you doing here?" she asked, her

mind unable to comprehend his presence. How had he ever found her
anyway?

"I drove all the way across country to see you and that's the way

you say hey?" Larry strolled around the hood of the car and approached
her. "I gotta tell you, Christine. You done yourself up good. I can see why
you were in such a hurry to get hitched."

"Larry, I don't think I like what you're saying. I think you should

leave." Christina didn't like the look in Larry's eyes. She wondered if
he'd been drinking. As he took a few steps closer to her and she smelled
the beer on him, she had her answer.

"Leave?" He looked around as if there were some audience who

might laugh with him. "I ain't leaving until I have the answer to one, no
two questions."

"All right then, ask them," Christina urged him, taking a step

back. She needed to get away from the smell that surrounded him.

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

123

"'kay. Why? Why did you leave me for him? Why didn't you talk to

me first?"

"Why?" Christina was exasperated, and she didn't think it was

useful to tell him that that was three questions instead of one. "There
wasn't any more to say. Things were over between the two of us. I think
you made that pretty clear, don't you?"

"Oh, I was just bluffin' you, honey. I didn't mean that. I just didn't

want you goin' off on your own. And it looks like I was right 'cuz look at
what you've gotten yourself into!"

"I haven't gotten myself into anything, Larry Moore. I'm right

where I want to be."

Larry snorted. "You know, you're beautiful when you're angry. You

can do better than a blind man, Christine. You know how I feel about
you. I would have married you sooner or later. You know that. The two
of us were meant to be together. So why don't you just get out of this...
situation you've got yourself into and come on home with me."

"No. I am home."

"Christine." Larry was beginning to get angry. "It's time to go.

Look around. This guy is loaded. He doesn't need your pity. He could buy
some from someone else."

Chris shook her head. "It's not pity, Larry. I want you to

understand that I love Michael Raven with all the breath I have in my
body for the rest of my life and nothing you can do will change that."

"We'll see about that," Larry murmured, determination in his face.

Christina noticed the look in his eyes an instant too late and tried to
back away from him but succeeded only in nearly stumbling over one of
the bushes that lined the drive.

Larry caught her arms before she could fall and pulled her roughly

to himself. "You love me, Christine. I know you do." Ignoring her fearful
struggles, he crushed his mouth against hers. Fear and the stench of
beer was stifling her, cutting off her air supply. She couldn't fight for
much longer. Vaguely, she heard a soft thump, perhaps a car door, and

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

124

the sound of Jason crying in the background. And then suddenly, she
was free.

She fell helplessly to the ground, gasping for air, tears streaming

from her eyes. When she looked up, she noticed a very stunned looking
Larry on the ground near his car with Desmond standing over him.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Ezra running to the front of the
house. Maria was close on his heels. Michael was standing over her,
emotions and expressions crossing over his features faster than she
could identify them.

"J-Jeannie?" He whispered confusedly. His hands trembled as he

ran them through his hair, squeezed his eyes shut.

"Michael. . ." Chris reached a hand toward him, but he backed

away, shaking his head. Then he stopped and looked at her again, and
then through her, beyond her as if he were seeing something else. And
she knew what he was seeing. He was seeing the past.

Chris stood and moved toward him, but he didn't notice her, didn't

move. He simply stood frozen in place, frozen in the past. And then his
vision cleared, and he looked down at her, so utterly lost.

"Michael." She reached for his hand. He took it and numbly looked

down at her, and she knew it was time. It was time for a change of
heart. Desmond signaled that he would take care of Larry as they
passed on their way into the house.

She led him along the corridor and into their bedroom. He seemed

to be coming out of his shock. "Are you all right?" he asked her.

"I'm fine. The question is, are you all right?" Christina asked him.

"I'm okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "I was so worried when I

saw that..."

"That was Larry," Christina said. "I should have told you about

him. He was my ex-boyfriend. He's usually much tamer than that-but he
was a little, well, drunk. Mabel warned me that he was upset, but
neither of us ever expected that he would try to come out here. He'll feel
bad about it in the morning and then he'll never bother us again. I'm
sorry I didn't say anything about him before."

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

125

"It's okay," Michael said absently. Then forcing a smile, he pulled

her into his arms. "I love you, Christina. I never want anything to
happen to you."

"I love you, too," Christina responded confused. Wasn't he going to

mention what had taken place in the driveway? Hadn't he been
remembering?

"Michael?" she pulled away from him and looked up into his

features. "What happened out there? In the driveway. You called me
Jeannie."

"Right.... I. I was..." He was searching for words, then he stopped

and looked her in the eyes. He looked haunted as he took her hand into
his. And suddenly Christina knew what he was doing. He was trying to
protect her from the truth. The same truth that she had been trying to
protect him from. He didn't want to be the one to tell her that her best
friend had made some very horrible mistakes in her life.

Despite the pain to himself, he was willing to keep it all in, in

order to preserve her memory of her friend.

Touched, she put a hand to his lips. Moving away from him, she

went to the closet and dug out Jeannie's diaries. She quickly flipped to
the appropriate page and showed him the letter. He read it silently, one
of his hands still holding onto hers. When he was done, he slowly closed
the book and looked at her.

"I'm sorry, Michael. I know now that I should have told you about

this letter days ago. But you were doing so well and you were so happy, I
just didn't want to bring back old pains."

"Don't be sorry. I think I would have done the same in your

position." Sighing heavily, he pulled her back into his arms. "I remember
now that Jeannie was troubled when I met her. I should have suspected
something deeper."

"Yes, she was troubled," Christina agreed. "But she was okay in

the end. I think having and caring for Jason helped her in a lot of ways."

"It seems that this little fellow has helped more than just Jeannie.

He brought us together. For that alone, I forgive Jeannie. Because she

FOR THE LOVE OF JASON

126

was right. Something good did come out of our relationship, and that
something lead us here, to one another."

"Amen to that." Christina smiled into Michael's chest.

"Now. Why don't we go find our little resident miracle worker and

take care of the mess outside so that our family can be back to normal?"

The End.

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